#its funny and also required for later stuff

[warriors-of-heavy]

Warrior of Light #2: Serainne Sangerpent

Wildwood Elezen, she/her

Age: 45

Height: 6'3"

Hometown: Ishgard

Personality: Stubborn, self-righteous, extremely martial... Ishgardian, basically.

Jobs: Dragoon & Sage

Backstory: In Serainne's world the previous warrior of light wasn't a dragoon, so Estinien got possessed by Nidhogg several months early and was able to use the azure dragoon to disable Ishgard's defenses from within.

by the time Serainne was old enough to hold a spear, the once-proud city state of Ishgard had been reduced to little more than a pile of rubble Nidhogg's brood allowed the remaining Ishgardians to crawl around in so that they could torture them for all eternity.

when Hydaelyn awoke Serainne to her destiny as the warrior of light, she not only received the standard meteor vision, but also knowledge of what Ishgard was like before it fell. inspired by the knowledge of her history, Serainne cobbled together every scrap of metal she could find onto some clergyman's clothes and set out to become the next azure dragoon.

eventually her one-woman war on dragonkind lost her an eye and gained her the ire of a Nidhogg-infused Estinien. she probably would've been turned into a char mark on the ground if not for her getting dumped in The Source before he could land a solid hit.

so she shows up in Azys Lla, which would be a terrible enough introduction for anyone coming to Eorzea, but she's in the midst of a bunch of primals insulting the legacy of the Knights of the Round, and after all that's settled she gets to watch her second most hated adversary swan in and get possessed by her first most hated adversary. At this point she takes up the mantle of main character while Sibert's off sulking as she hunts down Estinien to the ends of the earth. Whether she's going to save the man or skewer him is unknown to everyone, especially herself.

[aroaceleovaldez]

full on feel like pjo tv s2 is not gonna hold up so they need to drag as much attention to the series as they can by using nico as a sock puppet w tsats2

im fully expecting the show to go the way of the movies. it doesnt help Sea of Monsters is almost unanimously the least favorite book of the first series. People frequently forget it even exists or what happens in it, especially more casual fans.

Heck, just look at how little fanfare the second season has gotten so far as compared to the build up to s1. I wouldn't be surprised if s2 totally flops. It would be a little funny.

[ozzgin]

Some more dick-related brain rot…😘

We take the self serve dick bar and use monsters for the monster hotel. We are going to have that full “continental breakfast.” So we have a forest entity cumming maple syrup, a Minotaur cumming milk/creme, a yeti who cums slushies, a slime who cums various jams depending on whatever fruit we feed it, and any more monsters who we can utilize ☺️

When you were talking about your rats, it made me think of some rat-hybrid monster where reader can steer him via. his dick, like a reverse Ratatouille scenario 🐀

Having a robot/android partner, I could use his dick as a literal joy stick when playing video games. Also, if I have to charge robot/android, do you think his dick acts like a giant extension cord I could just plug into the outlet in the wall? Also does that mean he technically “eats” with his dick? I assume when traveling with him internationally, I gotta get a lot of compatible adapters so he can get plugged in successfully🕹️

A Hydra monster would be kinda funny to have sex with, cause maybe if you cut its “head” down south, two more will grow back 🤔

I think that’s all for now. Tell your man that he is very much appreciated, and it’s nice he’s in this club of debauchery 😉

-👘

This amount of thirst and depravity is exactly what the monster guests would come up with just to have Reader employee touch them. 😭 Content: gender neutral reader, rancid NSFW!!! (more white sauce I’m afraid), monster smut

The latest fad your centaur manager has been into is food cooked with bodily fluids. This has had several implications, all of them regrettably involving you.

While the idea has been gripping at his mind like a great plague, he can't possibly ask you to just...let go over his breakfast toast. He can already see how exhausted you return after being used by the starved guests. They stuff you just enough for you to wonder if you'll survive it, then make sure to clean up their mess, politely aiding your speedy recovery, almost as if they weren't the cause of destruction to begin with. The manager has heard it one too many times that your nether regions are numb from all the monstrous tongues and appendages.

Maybe a change of scenery will help.

"Kitchen staff? I thought I'm supposed to clean the rooms", you inquire, somewhat confused by the sudden proposal.

"It's not quite...kitchen duties, per se. We need someone to help with the hotel's breakfast. We have a new experimental menu, though not enough...hands."

You should've expected it. How bad could it possibly be, you told yourself, pouring some orange juice for the seated guests? You had your first suspicions from the big, flashy sign now propped outside the room: service provided by our esteemed and loved human employee. You didn't need to ponder much on its meaning. Once inside, your task became painfully clear. You were to milk the guests for the required ingredients.

Having their way with you is a treat in itself, but seeing you struggle with your small, human hands, trying to figure them out? Priceless. Well, for them, anyways. Despite your protests, you have left your morning shifts with a ridiculous number of tips. Maybe it's the way you look up through your lashes as you explain: "Of course I know your weak spot. You're one of my- our regulars." Or maybe it's the way you tease your favorites, wondering out loud, with a grin, if you should have some of the generous release for your own lunch later.

Your hard work has not gone unnoticed. The centaur head manager recently made the sheepish suggestion of having you at the receiving end of this new service, trying his best to sound convincing, and hiding the fact it’s been his most ardent wish for the past couple of weeks. Maybe he will get his breakfast topping, after all.

[Monster Hotel] | [More Monsters]

[ofswordsandpens]

I've enjoyed episode 3 the most so far, but I think the show is still struggling to find a good balance between taking itself seriously and the absurdist humor that RR writes with. My main takeaways:

The Fight Scenes (or Lack Thereof?)

It seems very peculiar to me that the show is just speed running through its battle scenes. Again, it feels very much like the product of Disney trying to sanitize anything that's too extreme?

The trio fleeing from the kindly ones in the book ended with Percy taking control of the bus and then crashing it. It explodes. They lose all of their stuff (money, food). In the show, they simply bail out the back window. No true panic. No tension. Just, okay :) we're leaving now :)

The Medusa Scene. I'll speak more to this later, but in terms of the fight we get to see... well we get to see nothing. Apparently this fight required us to view it through the lens of the invisibility cap (ie. not at all),

I understand this show is intended for a younger audience, but the books are as well. Even the movies, which are pg, came up with better ways to show things without necessarily showing things. As a result, it feels like anything that might induce the slightest bit of tension or fear are sanded down and its honestly doing such a disservice to the books and the audience.

Medusa

I actually really liked this portrayal of Medusa. The 1950s housewife vibe landed well for me. And I loved the actress's voice -- very soft and soothing but always sounding as if she were just about to cry.

Also, I really liked her dialogue. Her digs at Athena and Poseidon were perfectly tragic.

That being said, I really prefer the trio's arrival to the emporium in the book. In the books, they've been wandering the woods and are lost and exhausted and hungry because of the battle/bus crash where they've lost all of their stuff. It almost feels like the emporium popping up "out of nowhere" was more of it finding them.

Meanwhile in the show, Grover finds it through scent on a satyr path and they immediately know its Medusa, which imo takes out so much of the fun of it all??? In the books, they dont know. Grover's just like, freaking the ever living fuck out, and clearly Percy and Annabeth have let him take sole custody of the shared brain cell, cause they're more concerned about getting some food than anything else

Just... RIP dumbass shenanigans

And honestly, I'm not really sure what necessitated the change here in the show (of them not being tricked). It would have been one thing if they were going to change Medusa entirely to not wanting to harm them at all, but imo, I think its arguable/evident that show Medusa was looking for an excuse to petrify Annabeth and Grover (at minimum) regardless of anything.

Honestly, I would have had the show loosely play it out as: book arrival (they dont know its Medusa), keep the dumbass energy and banter, the trio figures out it Medusa while they're eating, Medusa is the more sympathetic version we see in the show, regardless it still ends with the battle.

Also, I do mourn the book battle. The panic and absurdity is just handled better imo. Annabeth shoving them off the bench, Grover flopping all over the place with the shoes but actively getting a good few hits in, Percy having to use to the reflection to behead her... the #TeamWork was emphasized a little more there to me.

Characterization

I think the show is absolutely nailing certain parts of the characters.

They've gotten Percy's anger and his derision towards the gods down. But, I think they're actually underscoring some of his, idk, sincerity? His kindness? It was the line "she met a pinecone's fate" that just rang off to me. While undoubtedly funny, it's just such a stark difference from his reaction to Thalia's story in the books, where he was unsettled by her fate and felt a sincere sympathy for her. The line in the show I assume is meant to criticize the gods, but still, it feels like it comes at the expense of the sensitivity that he has.

They've gotten Annabeth's bluntness, intelligence, pride, and superiority down cold. No question about it. But I feel like they just need to let her be more of a 12yo kid?

Like. In canon she and Percy banter and argue over the silliest of things. She plays hacky sack with Grover and Percy. She blushes and hyperventilates when Luke interacts with her. Episode 3 is like the first time we've gotten to see her do something remotely childish (buying all that candy) and I'm just dying for more of that!! She's not the "mom" of the group and she has her canon dumbass moments. I'm hoping more of this is captured moving forward. They've gotten a good start on the banter, but let Annabeth be more silly! Cause she is!

(Absolutely none of my personal qualms about the characterization are Walker or Leah's fault. They've done amazing. It's the writing/directing I'm side-eyeing).

OH! And I'm sorry but Percy being like "Annabeth we're going to bury medusa with your hat on" would have never ever flown with Annabeth. In no world.

But Grover eating them up at the end? Iconic. Good for him.

[kordyceps]

OK I mean obviously I'm reading your steter stuff on AO3 but I'd love to know if you have an all time favourite? Either your fave of your own work, or fave of another author's that you rec/reread/still think about a million years later (or both lol)

Oh man, okay, sorry for taking so long to reply to this ask! But it's such a good one and I unfortunately have the memory of a gold fish, so I needed to do Research™ (aka reread all my favs again lmao) so I could answer it properly. 😂

I only have one Steter fic of my own atm, so I guess that's my de facto personal fav for now…

But as for other folks' work, god, there are sooooo many great Steter fics out there!! So these are just a handful of my top favs, and definitely not a comprehensive list!

Five Times Peter and Stiles Troll the Pack by taylorpotato Rating: M | 2.5k | requires an AO3 account to read Stiles and Peter yell at each other in Polish, misleading the pack into think they're fighting, when in reality it's all just like completely fuckin' filthy dirty talk lmao. Short, but very funny, and such a perfect capture of their mischievous dynamic. 10/10, would recommend!

The Devil You Know by Twisted_Mind Rating: E | 11.6k Peter is there for Stiles when no one else is, and uses that to slowly manipulate his way into earning Stiles' explicit trust. And ooooh boy, is it so delicious and spicy. God damn! Cards on the table: this fic definitely won't be for everyone since it wades into some darker waters. But oh my god do I love love LOVE Peter's characterization in it. God, I feel like I could write a whole damn essay about this fic, but then I'd just end up spoiling the whole thing LOL. Just--if you like darker, manipulative Peter and enjoy your sweetness just a wee bit twisted, then 10/10 would recommend!

The Prince and the Pease by luulapants Rating: E | 47k | requires an AO3 account to read Medieval/Royalty AU where Peter is forced to cede his claim to the throne and become a "guest" of King Deucalion's as part of a peace treaty between the two kingdoms. Stiles, who is suspiciously far too mouthy for your average servant, is gifted to Peter as a bedwarmer. This one does such an incredible, masterful job at translating the characters into its setting and time period. The sass, the wit, the wordplay! You can definitely tell the author knows their shit, and my god is it fantastic. The plot itself is also so satisfying -- lots of great ups and downs, and, ugh, just so good! (Be sure to read p2 for the full ending btw!) Needless to say, 10/10, would recommend!

Keeping him (It's all about intent) by sittinginmytincan Rating: M (& E for oneshot sequel) | 121k Stiles winds up slingshotted into his own future, where it turns out he's married to Peter Hale of all people. His only way back is with Lydia's help, but she's gone mysteriously missing somewhere on the east coast while investigating some strange disappearances. Man, this fic….. I feel like the writer for this one must have received a checklist of things I'm into and decided to mark nearly every single one of them lol. Time travel, woke up married, magical theory, an enthralling af plotline -- and it's so thorough. Like, everything is so incredibly well thought out, the characterization is on point, and the development of Stiles and Peter's relationship is just chef kiss. Definitely 10/10, would recommend!

The Striking Complication by aurevell Rating: T | 118k I don't even want to write a summary up for this one because the mystery of it all and peeling back what's happening piece by piece is, imo, the best way to experience it. This story is intense as fuck, near relentlessly oppressive, and impossible to put down. It keeps you constantly at the edge of your seat as you try to figure out what is going on and how Peter and Stiles will survive it, with these heart-wrenchingly sweet breather moments sprinkled throughout. If you enjoy time loop stories, this one is an absolute must read! 10/10, would recommend!

build-a-beau by veterization Rating: E | 41.5k Tired of his dad always worrying about him being single, Stiles decides to pay for a fake boyfriend service so he can finally get his pops off his back about it. It goes about as well as one can expect a fake texting boyfriend you accidentally catch real feelings for can go lmao. This fic is wonderfully witty, with really fantastic banter between the two of them, and it's just so very fun getting to watch the pretend part of their exchanges slip more and more into something genuine. 10/10, would recommend!

Under the Songbird's Wing by mia6363 Raing: E | 87k Stiles is captured and held in captivity alongside Peter, Deucalion, and Satomi Ito. To survive, Stiles runs through lacrosse drills and tells stories, eventually persuading his fellow cellmates out of their shells and establishing a profound, unbreakable bond between them. This one is HEAVY, folks. Like, heavy heavy. But, god, it's also such a beautiful exploration of the characters and the bonds they develop through shared captivity. I don't even know what more to say, really, it's just haunting and lovely and awful and wonderful all at once. In the mood for something that hurts? Then 10/10, would recommend!

[ganondoodle]

i know i said i wouldnt be ranting about totk anymore, but i realized i didnt really count the sage dungeons as story (dont ask me why) so i thought im gonna write a better summarized version of my opinion about totk (i have around 60% of the game, all lightroots, not yet all shrines (missing like .. 20 or so, know the reward), not all krogs (dont know the reward), not all mayoi (half know the reward?) )

(in no particular order)

good stuff (in my opinion)

the. MUSIC! god the music is good, it was good in botw too but now with much more different bosses it really is probably one of my fav soundtracks of all time (most fav are all three phases of the end fight, the pre-fight to that, the build up one before all of those, Frosgeira (wind tempel boss) the glorious mASTER KOGA and more tbh)

the build up and end boss fight(s) are fantastic, i dont think im ever not gonna have my heart racing when approaching it (despite now skipping almost the entire way bc i set a teleport thing right before it) just bc the build up is so well made and the music(again) is such a banger and the fight(s) itself is so fun too, tbh i keep wanting to play it just bc its so fun

i LOVE how many themes play into the music (endfight alone had so many layers, fav probably is ganondorfs classic theme and calamity ganons both in the same piece among much more, and daruks theme in the fire temple)

(edit) YOU. CAN. TOUCH. DA. DRAGONS!!!!

ganondorf

ganondorfs design (x3)

ganondorfs weapon designs

ganondorfs voice (japanese)

everyone elses voice (japanese)

all voices (german)

thE YIGA!!! i love everythign about them and am so happy they got to be more than just some mini mission

(edit) also the fact that they get zonau tech to work without any special ghost powers is so ????

(edit) koga can summon and use zonau tech unlimited?? hes so cool

NO stealth mission!! (as far as im aware)

bosses are very different from each other

main dungeons are not too short and not too long and mostly fun (mostly bc i personally didnt like the gerudo one), i love that you can still somewhat cheese them and do them your way

sages felt like they got a bit more involved

(edit) you gotta do more stuff before getting to the actual dungeons and i really like that, feels less like a fetch quest but that you are actually helping

(edit) each sage is actually there in the dungeon and is required for it, which is great!

each settlement saw a much bigger danger/change (tho that has more impact if you have played botw) and its problems felt much more real

shrines are well varied tho i think overall a little easy (only got stuck on two so far and later solved them easily bc when i first started them i was tired and exhausted, no brain left lol)

NPCs felt less flat + more bigger sidequests that felt like they had more impact

cool new monsters + designs

the underground was pretty appropiately creepy

the sages abilities are neat

you can refight bosses!!

stable points system is a neat way to encourage you using them

weapon fusing is neat

(edit) the forest of the krogs being corrupted like that is both creepy and a neat nod to oot

(edit) the vai gerudo outfit being gone!! (one) evil has been defeated

(edit) the health bar going so far off the middle in ganondorfs second phase is honestly just funny hnjdfdjk unfortunate that you only need the master sword and with a few perfect dodges his health melts like butter in the summer

(edit) the music when dragondorf transforms sounds so sad .. its probably meant as a oh no world is actually ending sad but i like to think of it as a oh god what did he do to himself sad

the scene where rauru seals ganondorf kinda fruity

(graphic, animations and the overall world is still fantastic)

bad stuff (in my opinion)

everything zonau they feel forced into every bit of the world and its history (i know them being somewhat alien is intentional but not like that) it feels crammed into places they werent before and shouldnt be and it makes it all feel very artificial

the glyphs/dragon tears/memories really ruined alot for me, while it gave you insight as to what happened, it felt like it showed you too much and too little at the same time and i think it would have worked better if it was all in text for once if even at all, so the past stil stayed a mystery and youd be left wondering

timetravel .. really wasnt necessary and felt more like an excuse to get rid of zelda + make her the poor little sacrificial girl again + and to make her turning into a dragon as tragic as possible, like nothing but a stepping stone to the big reveal tm

shiekah tech being not just fully irrelevant but practically erased, wiped off the world (i know about the literally last guardian parts in hateno, it feels more like an oversight tbh, purah technically using it ... tho i dont think she ever calls it that, the purah pad is jsut the sheikah stone but worse), there being no good explanation, no remains, nothing as to why it would suddendly stop working and why even the titans and ESPEICALLY the shrine of life would be destroyed, if anything why wouldnt you enshrine it as a memento to history it was such a focus in botw and so well integrated into the world that it being fully gone, not even old overgrown, or visibly reused to build homes etc., or remains of how they built the og shrines in the underground feels like a HUGE missed opportunity (seriously it would have been so easy to make the ancient shiekah base their tech on old zonau tech, without stealign the gocus but buildign a connection)

all of the continuity problems, totk feels like botw didnt happen and the excuse of 'they didnt want to confuse new players' doesnt make a lick of sense in my eyes bc; its supposed to be a sequel, if you want it to be a standalone game then dont call it a sequel- if you start to play a game with the sequel instead of the first part its your own damn fault if you get confused; if anything, it would have been a good opportuntiy to make people interested in botw so theyd buy and play that one too

ganondorfs character is very flat, you basically get to know nothing about him (yuno even calls that out midgame but its never elaborated upon nhgfrdfhkk)

the zonau and their kingdom of hyrule is presented as this so perfectly good thing to such a degree it turns creepy, the end cutscene with mineru going poof was kinda uncomfy to watch tbh

the reward for all shrines being essentially a reveal as to who the hero in the tapestry was and it being, of course, some weird half zonau is the lamest answer to a mystery i didnt want an anwser too, it doesnt feel like it came naturally either (again my point of the zonau being forced into everything)

the shrines (zonau) feel so much more unnatural than the shiekah shrines, alien in a bad way and not in a good way + really are like a bad reskin of them, their sudden appearance and use is so much less logical

back in botw i was doubtful of if the shiekah tech wasnt going to far too modern tech and cause it all to feel like a bad mix of modern tech and medival fantasy, but they balanced it perfectly (tho the eponator zero was very much the limit imo) but the zonau tech .... oversteps that line i think, it really does feel, more than anything else, that it was just bc they wanted the stuff to be in there bc it might be fun to play around with, im not against that kind of stuff mind you im all for fun, but it feels a little like they thought of a box with endless stuff to play with first and a zelda game second (if you get what i mean)

quite a few quests or things in the game seem like they are more and then end in a dead end (the worst of all is impa saying she wants to go research what could help zelda turn back, and i was excited and convinced that shed give me a quest to find some mcguffin that would do that after i beat ganon but there wasnt anything you could actually do; less bad one but disappointing nonetheless the dongos were mentioned and treated like this big awesome thing from alot of NPCs all around the map and then when you find them they are bascially just gem vending maschines)

the way zelda turns back and link gets his arm back is incredibly unsatisfying, none of them even have something like a scar, or mark from it all, zelda spent thousands of years as a dragon (a transformation that was said to cost your soul but i guess that wasnt true) and link had his arm bascially eaten by miasma and he gets it back like it was never lost, zelda returns all intact as if nothing happened, getting blasted by some magic tm by two ghosts that were supposed to be long gone is the solution to all problems!!

(edit) link losing an arm wouldnt just be super intersting but also lend itself well to lead up into the next game where his prothesis is the focus and source of abilities

(edit) zelda got done so dirty, instead of her actual interests and character to shine she just gets shoved into yet another crisis surrounded by strangers in a world that looks like hers but isnt, and all she does is beg the ancient sages to swear to help link and sacrifice herself again (can you call that fridging? bc she sure feels like she got fridged) i like zelda and i dont like how much i didnt care about her and tbh im angry at the game for that

(edit) both link and zelda not even slightly changing in the years btween botw and totk kinda boring, like a haircut can only do so much

(edit) sonia really is the wife that dies to make husband sad thing isnt she? i get that gan had to get his hands on an enigma stone but i feel like there had been better ways to do that, the fact that she dies that easily is almost funny honestly, why does ganondorf even have weapons when he can just one punch people to death (tho i find it funny to imagine he can literally just kill people in one punch but hes too prideful to do it most of the time so he always uses weapons to look more cool)

(edit) so many new characters that you barely get to see or interact with, i really ... couldnt get myself to care much

(edit) zonau tech being so irrelevant to the games story while its also the focus is .. weird, its really just play doh for the players and nothing else honestly

(edit) monsters mining sonanium feels strange bc ... they dont do anything with it? the best thing i can think of is that they were told to do that so link cant .. upgrade his battery thignies? but then again you could just destroy the mines and remaining constructs to stop it .... also you really dont need anything zonau tech related to beat gan?

(edit) ganondorf beign so utterly uninterested in their tech is weird considering how he dealt with shiekah tech (and we KNOW it can get corrupted) he should be a tech nerd tbh

my twitch VoD of the first time beating the game getting muted at the credits despite me talking over it

nitpicks (in my opninion)

(edit) ganondorf should have a bit more of a boar inspired design, as treat, i think

(edit) the enigma stone wandering back to ganondorfs forehead even after transforming is? weird? i guess an excuse for da epic last stabby but still? (how cool would it have been to have to plunge into his mouth and break it there or something)

(edit) the underground gets a lil old after a while, the fact that its pretty much the same everywhere aside from some .. very strange flowing magma is a lil boring

(edit) ganondorf could have gone way more crazy with abilities and all that, imagine hed spwan multiple miasma arms on himself when you get him to a certain level of health

(edit) i miss unique weapons, there arent even normal axes around anymore, everything is about fusing really, i miss the cool shiekah tech weapons

(edit) the forest of the krogs being largely irrelevant is kinda weird

(edit) mineru being the sage of spirit still is kinda meh, the robot is neat but i thought tauro or purah would be the surprise sage tbh

(edit) the bosses were a little easy (i did boldo gohma rather early and did it without even getting hit)

you cant talk to koga normally :(

you cant find koga again after the last fight :(

you cant refight him (to my knowledge) :(

i find it very strange that yuno seemingly lost daruk shield, despite him having inhereted it in botw

the sage powers are not .. very great integrated, while its fun to haven them run around and help you fight, to actually use their powers you have to chase after them, something that in the heat of a battle is very annoying to do, constantly activating the wrong on or them losing their charge up when they get knocked over is like trying to herd a wild pack of geese while a three headed dragon is shotting laserbeams at you

some widlife just disappearing all of the sudden is very strange (like the rhino in hebra)

some new houses or settlements would have been cool, that the material things at the sides of roads are really only for you to play around with and not to build anything that lasts

you cant fight ganondorf (non dragon, even the dragon is locked to that evening sky) in the sunlight, night or rain, i would have loved to fight him at various times of day

their refusal to show any kind of blood is honestly turnign serious scenes into very awkward ones, sonia just getting punched and she dies with not even like, losing some spit from the force or something, or the fact when you defeat ganondorfs second phase he acts mortally wounded but doesnt even look scratched is just :/

amiibo stuff while neat being included its really mostly just bloating your inventory, if i wanted 5 vaguely different link outfits then i would have gotten the amiibo for it

why hide the -now-totally-not-phantom-ganon-armor- behind such a long questline and then .. have that NOT be upgradable

they put in a house building thingy and then not let you have a roof or a tree or something :(

at some point stable points jsut get you more and more of those free staying over night tickets that i maybe used .. once at the very start and now its just accumulating in my inventory

only one new horse coat pattern :(

satori now only being a thingy that shows you caves is kinda boring, i loved the mystery around it in botw (additionally, that it shows you caves you have completed already kinda sucks)

the end of the shrines isnt that cool anymore, speaking to a mummified monk that gives you essentially his last remains of life energy is so much cooler than a statue of the oh so awesome god king and his wife

the many references and reuse of old names is neat but together with timetravel etc. it easily leads to confusing and fighting among fans for who is more 'right' and its just .. tiring

(edit) considering how much of the advertising was about the sky islands i wished there were more and bigger ones, the underground (that was a little one sided after a while, it all looking the same rly) could have been alot smaller if the sky was bigger instead

(edit) i wished there was more of a sense of .. lost life in the ruins you find, from all races, the ancient ruins are jsut some bridged and ceremonial stuff and i wished there were more like .. houses, like people actually lived there and it not being all around beign a platform for you

(edit) the fact that the half zonau hero exists mean either rauru and sonia had kids but those were clearly not important enough to ever show nor mention, or there were other mixing of them before they all mysteriously died out the fact that the ancient hero was half zonau means their genes survided till then but somehow it never came up? the tapestry still exists and impa and purah say like its a well known fact that the hero looked like that (not at all close to any modern species) when you talk to them while wearing it (the fact that the hero armor thingy is very reminiscemt of ganondorf is like some backtreading bc we were theorizing about the hero having been ganondorf once and they wanted to stop that .. but the more funny thing is the HC of its a descdendet of rauru and ganondorf nhjdfknhdgkfnhkfd) (edit to add to the HC; the game being a big battle about child support is funnier than it should be idk if nintendo knew what they were doing adding details like that)

all in all it just feels like missed opportunities, lost potential, and more a game build around some game mechanics they really wanted to get into than telling a neat story, espeically so bc they called it a sequel, most of my complaints wouldnt be there if it was some alternate thing instead

i probably forgot stuff but if i think of more i will add them later with a little note that it was added in an edit (sidenote, i find it funny how much more nuance that whole conflict would get if rauru and ganondorf were bitter exes bfdrjfbdfndk)

[amnesiaskulls]

My silly drv3 experience so far (by someone who has yet to finish the game)(only prologue)

this post details me and my friends drv3 prologue experience. We are currently almost done with chapter 5, keep in mind that THERE MAY BE GAME SPOILERS FOR ANYTHING BEFORE DRV3 CHAPTER 6, last thing i wanna do is spoil a game for someone

before i get into the funny stuff (bear with me please) i just gotta give a little insight as to why my experience is so funny to me, skip to the green if you just wanna hear the stuff leading up to the actual experience, and to the pink just to quick skip to the prologue

my friends who I ran through with: @h3r0b0y and @rexecutioner, go take a look at their stuff, both of them are incredible artists who have content other than drv3 (this is also an excuse to tag them so they can fact check me)

pre-game experience (not required to understand, but recommended if you want backround info)

when i consume a new piece of media, usually its because ive seen things about it that i find cool or funny, or ive been told good things about it. In all honesty damn gone grandpa was never i game i thought i would ever get into or care about, because my only experience with it was some of the immature fans and one kid in middle school who liked it. I had only heard about the negative parts of the fandom from like 2018 (peak people misunderstanding character territory) even until like a year ago (wow so great of me to judge a game based on like 3 negative experiences wooww). during middle school, i also met my best friend (this is important later).

Another thing about our silly friend group is that Hero is great at improv (like really good, hes seriously one of the funniest people on earth) and Rex, my twin, is really good at making silly voices and VAing different characters with unique voices (they both are good at these things, but i wanna give them each individual credit). Im pretty amateur at both, but I can hold onto my voice a bit longer without having to take a break

The actual drv3 prologue experience

what we do with our amazing great and cool talents is dub over various pieces of media that we like or find funny, such as mystreet or mcsm. My best friend, Hero, is someone with impeccable taste in outfits and clothes in general, and owns a checkered bandana and was wearing it when me and Rex were over at his house, and kept talking about how “he would be compared to the twink from daganronpa” if he wore it out. The same day that Hero brought up the checkered bandana thing, we finished dubbing the last interesting piece of mystreet media, and now had nothing left to do. Being in the damn gone grandpa headspace with the whole kokichi thing, Hero suggested that we voice over it. The only things i knew about it was monokuma and kokichi because of the one banger fan song and the bandana kokichi wears. Im not exaggerating, I personally had no clue that there was more then one game, and at the time i still didn't care much about the game and didn’t think that we would get too far into it to care (we’re going through a 43 hour playthrough), i personally thought we would get bored after seeing kokichi and then quit (i was so wrong).

Our plan was that there was no plan except that we would mute the game and do all of the voices ourselves, not much thinking went into it. Also, no assigned characters other than kokichi, who went to Hero because it was his idea in the first place, just take whoever you want before someone else gets them

PROLOGUE

I actually have all of the prologue on video, as i like to look back on things to remember stupid details like jokes and predictions for the rest of the game so I can see how close we got. I will not be posting it anywhere for privacy reasons, so please respect that. Its also the only one i videoed for some reason, so its the only one I remember that well due to large time frames between sittings.

it started with the black nothingness and a voice, whom Rex claimed immediately, and used a slightly deeper voice for them thinking that it was a man. Its was infact not a man (there is a video clip of all three of us exclaiming “ITS A GIRL??” After kaede steps out of the locker) after we see the banging on the other locker, a boy falls out. I immediately decide that i get to be the pathetic emo, and while the voice tends to fluctuate a bit for a while, the voice i settle on is something akin to the snapcube silver the hedgehog voice. We run through the rest of the room stuff and get chased by exisals to the gym. (Another fun fact, due to a reading mistake i made, we have since called the exisals “exsials” like ex-ee-uls and i only noticed during chapter 5. Over 3/4s of the way through.)(im not going to pronounce it correctly ever)

Because we have the game muted, we have no clue whos talking because everyone is labeled ??? until the second half of the prologue, and after rantaro introduces himself i think. We each claim a couple characters, Rex claims noticeably less because they have the main character, kaede. The only other interesting thing in the first half is all of us shitting on ryoma for being short. the second half is when we meet all of the characters and get all roles assigned unequally because that would mean a plan, and plans are lame (this is a joke i love plans) some notable meets were with Maki, where after learning about her ultimate, Hero comments “so thats where your soul went”, and originally had a pick me girl voice, Rantaro, where I called him the ultimate empath and Hero used a stoner-surfer voice combo for him, Ryoma, whos voice at this point in time was the highest pitch british youve ever heard without a voice changer (it eventually changed to something a lot more like the official english voice), and finally poor Shuichi. During the entire beginning after they get their first memory we make fun of Shuichi a lot, call him the ultimate dork, ultimate wuss, and other funny things like that. The most notable however is when he stated something incredibly obvious, so Hero said “wow how did you figure that out, what are you, the ultimate detective?” And we laugh it off and skip around a bit because we were honestly not that enthusiastic about doing the exact same thing again. We skip to when kaede meets tsumugi and learn her talent. We realized we skipped over shuichis talent but didnt want to go back, so Rex looked it up bravely facing spoilers for us. Something something ultimate detective and we were FLABBERGASTED.

there were more funny things but im not going to rewatch it to find them

The current character distributions were:

REX: Kaede, Keebo, Maki, Monokuma, Monokid and Monosuke

HERO: Rantaro, Ryoma, Tenko, Angie, Kiyo, Kokichi, Tsumugi, and Monotaro

AMNESIA: Shuichi, Kirumi, Gonta, Miu, Kaito, Himiko, Monophanie and Monodam

some notable silly bits were also: comparing kaito to the vocaloid, predicting kirumis murder, cheering the moment gonta mentioned entomology, Hero leaving during Mius intro and coming back to her saying shes going to drug herself to get high, Hero predicting them all being in space, the Tenko Tussle where Hero had her originally, i tried to take her but Hero took her back for some reason despite not wanting to voice her, tsumugi being immediately hated by all of us and being dubbed the ultimate nerd, both me and Hero constantly telling Rex that rantaro was giving off death flags, rantaros many names- ultimate idk, ultimate beats me, ultimate bogus, ultimate empath, ultimate weed, and ultimate boyfriend eventually, us screaming at ryoma being in the game room, us saying “i dont think we should have gotten a friendship fragment for that” after talking to kiyo, Hero calling kirumi super nanny, us cheering when angie said she was an artist, calling gonta the alpha because he was raised by wolves, the cage wall getting a “what is this, mcsm?” Someone said rehab amami??? When Rex checked for Shuichis ultimate, I wanted to avoid spoilers so i said “oh yea and he killed 8 people”reffering to us knowing nothing about the game, with Hero saying “also he killed 17 people in 1905”

its not letting me write more without glitching so ill probably make a separate post about the other chapters eventually lmao, might link it when im done, or if you have a specific one you wanna hear about PRE CHAPTER 6, send me an ask!

[batsplat]

OOH do you have any old motogp forum recs?? I would love to see what fans were saying in like the early 2000s, but I have no idea where to look

lemme check my bookmarks... r1-forum I've gone through a fair bit, threads dating back to early 2004. motogpforum goes back to early 2005. motorsportsforum picks up late 2006-ish, that one I've gone through in its entirety for the early alien era. motorradonline24 is admittedly in german but has the BIG selling point that it goes all the way back to 2001. apriliaforum also goes pretty far back but it takes a little longer for discussion of actual racing to get going. there's definitely more I've checked out - I might make a proper list at some point, but just to start you off

the thing about these forums is that it's undoubtedly interesting and useful to get some context of fan opinions (good mix of actual nuance/worthwhile discussion and just slagging off a bunch of riders)... but if anything they're even more precious as a record of actual *news* that has otherwise been scrubbed from the internet. there's a lot of drama and controversies and anecdotes that only exist on these forums

which... tbh there's been quite a few that I haven't included in my posts just because I'm not entirely sure they quite pass the burden of proof requirements. but man, so many of them are so interesting. it's a tricky balance. just as an example - one particularly nasty thing casey allegedly said about jorge that IF TRUE does feel like it would add something to my understanding of casey. but the article only exists on forum pages... still, it made it to three different forums I can find and is written in the usual tone of the author, so I feel fairly confident the original article existed. but then again, the article itself is just an anecdotal conversation relayed by one bloke. on the other hand, this is a reputable enough commentator you wouldn't expect to COMPLETELY make it up - and funnily enough I have even found a photo of him talking to casey that specific weekend. on the other other hand, it's a colourful anecdote that might have been exaggerated for effect. then again, I can kinda see casey saying it - not least because casey confirmed in his autobiography years later that he was pissed off at jorge that specific weekend. but it does feel like the sort of thing that should have caused a controversy... like if jorge saw what casey allegedly said you'd expect there to be nuclear winter, and there's no further trace of it. hm

so what do you do with that kind of thing, share it or not? the further you go back with this stuff the worse it gets, where I keep finding - plus am being sent - increasingly wild quotes from early noughties motogp. at least most of those are from news sites, some of them of dubious quality, but generally you'd really like to find at least one other source backing up the quotes. which often you won't get!! so yeah, it's all interesting context and gossip, but as ever I'd advise being wary of the specific stories. even the funny ones. especially the funny one

anyway, all that being said. this ask was sent in relation to a post about laguna 2008, so I'm going to take this excuse to actually share some discussion of laguna 2008

so. taking u through the fan chat of the weekend from one specific forum with select commentary... here's the thread starter

reminder that dani was injured at the sachsenring and would eventually opt against racing (effectively ending his title bid, but michelin was useless anyway that weekend)

relatively good reason to believe in english-speaker (and in particular american) overperformance at the track. obviously hayden won there the first two years, edwards even beat valentino to second in 2005 which has got to be the only time that year he finished ahead of vale. often more familiar with the track, or it just suits their riding style better. and ofc vermeulen did bag a distant third. still. valentino in the trenches if people thing edwards will beat him icl

have to say. the idea of the 125/250 riders going down that corkscrew fills me with a visceral sense of horror

'marco' btw as in marco melandri, in the middle of his ducati season from hell

dovi super popular in 2008 fyi, darling of the posters. everyone was obsessed with his rookie season

plenty of solid foreshadowing happening here you have to say

it is very motogp rider behaviour, and also very valentino behaviour, to look at the corkscrew, go 'hm i don't think this is even safe to WALK down', and then fucking hurl yourself at the other guy into that very same corner as you're both travelling at horrifying speeds on a motorcycle. going tentatively through that bit of the track during practise and then in the race he's making his bike go bounce bounce like a trampoline

wow!

*stares at camera*

still nasty work to say this, he repeated it in several interviews I think

okay, no forum posts during the race itself so now we skip to the post-race discussion

which is what the tone from a lot of posters was like

narrator: casey had not calmed down

(if you watch the podium ceremony and see some of the photos without context, you WOULD think they're having a laff. it's just that they're having a laff while casey is telling valentino that he's lost respect for him and valentino is delighted)

two australians on the podium btw

jorge highside cameo

a lot of people were whinging about a lot of 800cc races being boring because a lot of them were. you can copy and paste much of what people are saying about racing these days, if you want to get an idea of the tone

casey fan writes in

again. cannot be stressed enough how casey very much had not calmed down. but that's the fun thing about that rivalry, like they will ALWAYS have a tonal mismatch between their face-to-face interactions and whatever out of pocket things are being said in the press. casey also really big on the pissed off smile which helps

'not even sure that the riders even touched at any point' is. pushing it

yeah the no handshake thing really didn't get a positive response (casey did ofc eventually shake valentino's hand on the podium)

is it really a clean battle if you think someone will fall off

don't want to say that it's a lost cause because casey DID get smarter about this stuff, but ducati certainly aren't doing shit

so much of laguna and its legacy is about both of them threatening each other lol, please allow him

again, podium chat categorically not a friendly conversation. otherwise qualified casey defence

likewise

thought this was interesting in terms of discussion of actual rules - valentino said a few years ago the move wouldn't be allowed anymore and he thinks that's a good thing

“It needs rules,” he said. .”Because the situation with the overtaking manoeuvers and everything is much more extreme now than it was in Laguna Seca in 2008. The routes have changed a lot, now there is no more grass next to the slope, but the green stripe.  “That was done for safety. Because if you catch the grass at that speed, you'll fly away. The asphalt, on the other hand, is less dangerous. In my opinion, however, you have to make a rule and say that you shouldn't touch the green at all - see it as if there were still grass there. “At the level we have reached today, which is extreme in many respects, everyone goes over the curbs and is all green if you don't have a clear rule. I think that's the right thing to do.”

but yeah tbh... I know casey disagrees but I feel like the move WAS probably fine by standards of back then

some more rules chat

and more

"will be hearing big footsteps every time he is in front"

and here we are then. not much that's groundbreaking, but I do find it interesting!! this is a pretty pro-casey audience... most of these forums were generally pretty positive about him. english language speakers were way more hostile towards dani and later jorge for various reasons - you'll also find at least some distaste for valentino in these spaces alongside the usual adulation. so that's the yardstick... this is probably close to as casey-friendly as discussion of the race got among the wider fanbase. it was always going to be a tough sell to air his grievances about this race until a few years had passed. the general reaction was that the racing had been hard but fine, an extremely welcome contrast to the general quality of racing at the time. and almost nobody thought casey should have reacted as he did in parc fermé. interesting contrast with jerez 2005 actually (though admittedly sete not particularly popular in most forums) - sete was low key seen as having a more legitimate grievance than casey. anyway, obviously this blog's stance is that sportsmanship is overrated, but that's how you end up getting the poor bloke apologising in brno

[rontra]

in the failteacher yuri saga will we be seeing any other p3 or p5 characters? or is it jus gonna be toriumi and kawakami?

i looooove how you portray toriumi/kawakami but im also curious abt what other pairings you like

(your art is amazing as always btw)

thank you!!!! 😘

it depends mostly on whim to be honestMDFJBH

i currently have...one. potential role for a p5 character. that i think is VERY Funny. but bc the nature of this comic is pretty improv-heavy we will simply Have To See if those seeds come to fruition or not HBFDHJG (and in a similar vein i might Think Of some other gag that requires a p3/p5 character Later that i dont know about rn)

for pairings i'm generally not actively engaged with p5 ships unless you count Me peeling back my monitor screen to enter the story and woo kawakami (i can save her) so we probably arent gonna get that specifically . F

(yukamitsu nation rise up though)

generally speaking there's the gameplan of not getting too involved with the PLOT of p5...partially because i dont think its necessary and partially because i would need to skim so many wiki pages to pull off anything substantial HAHAHA but there might be small roles here and there. who can say. smiles. mostly it'll be unmentioned though so who even knows if it's even happening in the bg or not 💀

suffice to say i'm a p3head . for pretty easy circumstantial reasons p5 was nowhere near as Life Altering to me as playing p3 at like Age 12 was. so in other terms p5 is like "a game i enjoyed playing but didn't need to commit to memory In Complete Detail" and p3 is like "a game that rocked my shit Permanently so i know the plot and timeline of it by heart" so it's much easier for me to pull from p3......

........however p3 already happened like 7 years ago in-universe so all of that knowledge is USELESS!!!!!!!

i have the directly au-relevant knowledge of p5 and p3 loaded. idk if we'll get into much beyoooond that stuff . is what i'll say. HDHBJFG

anyway my people are still trying to contact sae niijima's people to arrange a playdate but that's mostly for my own interests

[ravenkinnie]

Do you have any thoughts on good/bad/worthwhile Cassandra Cain storylines? Her introduction/origin years ago was uhh not good (i.e., mega-racist even by Batbook standards), but I figure a bazillion lesbians can't be wholly wrong (except about TSwift and maybe The L Word).

here is the thing, if you wanna read about a character of color in comics you gotta accept it will be a little to very racist. I'm pretty sure being racist is just a requirement to be a comics writer, like they make you take a racial bias test and only hire people with highest scores. and hilariously I can't guess which introduction you mean because I realise that her og-og origin also falls under some racist stereotypes but new52 was just a full on massacre jsnsjsj

I need to caveat that the storylines in her solo will have art so racist it will make your eyes water sometimes, that's why it's so hard ro recommend it sjsjsjks but I genuinely think the first few arcs from it are great, even though it's funny as fuck that they realised cass not speaking at all was either a lil racist or not very good for carrying a solo and they magicked her the ability to speak but it DID lead to the shiva arc and that was fucking crazy amd i haven't seen a batfam mf go this hard since then. on the flipside some of the later arcs and the annuals are.... oh girl. apart from racism even, they are just choppy and messy and nothing was ever gonna go anywhere because dc hated my girl and wanted her gone so she's not allowed to have any meaningful storylines connected to batfam or yk. anything really

and its only worse from here, like the whole evil cass arc after that leading to batgirl redemption is straight up infamous because of how stupid it is. it's pointless and it brings nothing and was never gonna be resolved because every man at dc secretly imagines their wife is deathstroke when they fuck so it's not like cass will actually get her dues at the end of all that. it was literally her death and the maidens and that shit sucked even less somehow

and that was the good era <3 n52 outsiders was okay, not very preboot cass accurate and shiva wasn't that in character necessarily but its not physically painful to read. but her introduction was fucking batman and robin eternal and I think whoever thought of this panel in particular

needs to be in fucking prison for the irreperable damage this did to fanon. and also whoever came up with tim saying because she can't talk she must have the mind of a chuld - oh if I got my hands on tynion for this. oh bitch

rebirth doesn't even deserve a mention because it was just boring. now we have batgirls as her main comic and I hate that fucking thing with my entire heart like I would pay a turkish witch to curse everybody involved in making this. the way they said they wrote them to be about 14 I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack just remembering it. from newer stuff the only things I would say are worth attention is her story in the asian heritage month special - not crazy good but its okay - and spirit world but it's not that focused on her. still a fun read tho

also, preboot, there are some REALLY good one off issues with her that you would never think to read because they are buried in other runs. my faves are gotham knights #2, dc presents batgirl vs joker, gotham secret files and origins, and batgirl secret files

tldr: if you want to stan cass you have to accept you will suffer. there's no joy to be found here, even in the good arcs. thankfully, I'm delusional and love pain so the potential they never made her live up to is enough to drive me crazy for eternity and one day I will suck off a dc editor so good they will let me write a cass solo with full creative control and jh williams on art and I will have my revenge. and they will all be sorry

[gizamalblythe]

Call The Warlords!!

so this takes place in the Wing!au that me @blackcat2907 and @blackholesun321 have been doing, so some prior reading may be required.

(also if this looks poorly written thats because it started as a ramble and i tried to edit it but got tired like, 2/3rds of the way through and said F it we ball.)

((also also i know the seraphim are supposed to be like,,,6-12 ft tall or something but ive known and thought about these babies for far longer than i knew their actual heights so for any thing going forward from me, S-Hawk/Peregrine/Pippin is 4'3 and Sebastian is 4'4 because i think its funny that he's so small))

so in wing!au, and pretty much any iteration, Mihawk is pretty in control of any sort of instincts he has right?

all that gets thrown out the window when he gets an invitation from a mysterious ‘Shaka’ to come and collect something of his on the equally mysterious Egghead Island shortly after his grown chicks fly the coop once more

He gets hit over the head big time with the nesting stick once he lays eyes on ‘S-Hawk 049’ and ‘S-Lion 001’ though.

Mihawk's first thought is that those are terrible names, which is quickly overtaken by ‘i need to get them into the nest as soon as possible’ which is hard because he doesn’t really nest and the only place he would really think of nesting is either home on kurigana, or home on the red force.

the red force is closer, so after some thorough cuddling and introductions/more cuddles, he bundles them both up in a blanket, together of course, and then either picks them up in his arms (given that you can also pick stuff up in your wings to keep your hands free, this is a really touching gesture) and sets off to both avoid interacting with any of the other warlords (because he is a reclusive bastard on a good day and he really does not want to explain anything to anyone right now.) and also to get to the red force as quick as possible.

so, shaka didn’t know that Mihawk and shanks were together, so they each got sent an invitation, but let's say that the news coos have a really hard time getting to Elbaf, or the giants have a really strict screening process, either way the letter was late, so late in fact that shanks didn’t even get the letter until 30 minutes before Mihawk got to the red force ( we’ll expand on that more later)

now shaka was worried because he was banking on all the seraphim being gone by a certain time so when he received no word from the red emperor he began to enact some back up plans, all of them fell through, but he figured he could just kinda dump s-lion on buggy the clown but he hadn’t been able to bring that part of the plan up to the seraphim yet, so they all thought that s-lion was being left behind.

So Mihawk and the other Warlords, both new and old (excluding Blackbeard because he wasn’t relevant and Doflamingo because he was both in prison and Shaka did not trust this man with a child) arrive on Egghead where they meet Doctor Vegapunk-01 ‘Shaka’.

After initial introductions are finished, and an explanation and reassurances are given, Shaka starts guiding them towards a meeting area to meet the seraphim. Mihawk however, notices a large amount of nervous energy, separate from the waiting figures ahead of them. This, along with how familiar the presence seems, intrigues Hawkeyes so he decides to split off and investigate. 

When Mihawk walks into the training dojo, he sees S-Hawk training his swordsmanship. He spoke up once the boy had finished his katas and noted to him that while his ability to mimic his technique was admirable, it clearly lacked the foundation the basics provided. 

He showed the seraphim the basics, they practiced a bit, S-Hawk became emotional and blew up a bit out of frustration and lack of understanding on why he was being so nice to him then proceeded to break down crying. Mihawk sat patiently during the outburst, then wrapped his wings around them as he hugged the child comfortingly during the crying jag, and stood up with S-Hawk in his arms and picked up the younger's sword (which he attached to his belt because mediocre imitation or not it is still his first sword!) and then began walking through the halls to the exit.

At one of the intersections, S-Hawk meekly asked if He could take his brother too. Mihawk questioned if he was another clone of him , to which S-Hawk says he's a clone of an Emperor. Mihawk agrees and during the walk to the mysterious brothers room, the raven haired man goes over in his head who it could be.

‘Can't be Linlin because he said brother, so that leaves Kaido, Edward Newgate and-’

Conqueror Class Seraphim: S-Lion 001

‘Shanks’

so on the trip to the red force is filled with lots more cuddles and some explaining: 

where they were going,

(Elbaf)

Why, 

(that is one of the safest places Mihawk can think of to nest) 

Who is there, 

(his mate) 

How will they react to the newly named Sebastian considering he doesn’t share any dna with Mihawk and instincts will not like that,

(he will probably react quite well, considering that while you don't share dna with me, you do share dna with him) 

How will he react to the newly named Peregrine seeing as it can be easily taken as infidelity on Mihawks' part,

(he's not one to judge based on that because he knows that I love him)

Will he like us? 

(he will love you)

SO arriving at the red force, somehow Mihawk is completely unnoticed. strange but whatever, (this is because most of the senior officers and shanks are in a war meeting rn trying to decide who goes to go get whatever it is that THE Dr Vegapunk want to give them) so Mihawk just makes his way to Shanks’ room (very grateful to the lack of presence because his instincts are screaming at him to get the chicks to the nest NOW and being seen will not help with that) so he gets to Shanks’ room to find that it is laundry day so he sets the Eyas down on the bed, tells them he will be right back and books it to the laundry room where he is finally seen, he gathers a bunch of bedding and soft blankets and at least one of shanks’ throw blankets that isn’t really dirty but hasn’t been washed yet and just leaves without acknowledging anybody, someone tells a cabin boy to tell Shanks that ‘Hey, Mihawk is here and he's nesting. jsyk’

So Shanks gets the call that Mihawk is here and nesting which is slightly concerning because Mihawk doesn’t really nest, and he can't ask Ben for advice because Ben left half an hour ago to check out Vegapunk’s thing. So he goes to his room to investigate, to which he finds Mihawk, in the middle of a nest of pillows and blankets and nestled right there next to him, are two tiny chicks, both with white hair and tan skin, one looks like Mihawk, and the other…. looks like him!

he gently shakes Mihawk out of his baby-bliss-napping and asks “as wonderful and as overjoyed I am,,,,, where’d you find these adorable babies?” Mihawk explains and Shanks says that he’ll be right back to join in the cuddles, he’s just gotta get Ben on the den den and tell them that they can come back because Mihawk already beat them to it.

@manofbeskar enjoy some baby acquisition.

[mahou-furbies]

Closing thoughts on Pretty Cure Dream Stars!

Precure requires a lot of concessions on the grounds that it is a children's franchise, but this film felt like it skews even younger than usual. Let's get the usual out of the way first: the light sticks play an even bigger role than average, and this time the characters even jump out of the movie and directly address the movie audience multiple times, instead of the usual where they give the "support the Precure with your light sticks" speech to side characters who act as audience surrogates.

Overall the film also had the same issues as the other crossover movies, in that it just throws in way too many characters who all either feel the same (the typical generic hero who instantly befriends everyone and jumps into rescuing every troubled bystander they see), or if they're lucky get one moment where they get to display their one individual personality trait. I was looking forward to seeing Haruka again even in this flattened form, but even she felt like a complete nothing of a character. This combined with the main story being pretty weak made the whole film feel even more of just a product than usual.

Then some assorted complaints:

The villain had the kind of annoying monotone voice that instantly made me think that he must be voiced by a manzai celebrity and that turned out to be the case.

The movie-exclusive kid character is kind of annoying

In the emotional climax of the film the kid character's friend has forgotten about her due to magic (oh no!) but actually nevermind, she just remembers her like 10 seconds later, what was the point of those few seconds of drama?

No new powerups or even civilian clothes for anyone. Or the movie's idea of a powerup was stamping some barely noticeable sakura flower symbols on their Cure outfits.

All was not bad; the CG fantasy land parts had really nice colours, the Japanese-themed visuals give the film its own identity, the new girl's design is fine, the CG animation isn't awful and Akira kabedons Yui. They also play the "funny and upbeat stuff happens" classical music during an action scene and it pisses me off that I can't remember the name of the piece, and it wasn't even in the credits (I think).

The best thing about the movie was this end card with these lovely kimono:

Still in the end this is very much a children's movie, so if the 5-year-olds like it I guess my opinion doesn't matter and I really should have spent my evening on something else than bitching about it for 300 words. But I would still say that the 5-year-olds deserve better.

[e17omm]

i love honkai impact 3rd, but there are so many questions i have about how the world works that just don't seem to ever get adressed in game it's not even funny, like how Schicsal seems to be the catholic church in the middle ages and then it becomes a more secretive organization later, so... is christianity still around in the honkai universe? did the church just... stop existing? or was it separated? theresa still dresses like a nun so idk

What makes this more fucky is that Shicksal Valkyries is VERY well known. Durandal was on TV after solving a "mysterious gas leak" and was introduced as Schicksal's newest/youngest S-rank Valkyrie.

How the fuck anything is hidden or makes sense isnt made clear.

(talking a lot of my Snippets AU below. Didnt want to take away from my main answer for this ask)

So for Snippets AU, I am trying to put down rules/things that makes sense. Like (Honkai) monsters being around and its perfectly normal, but for the public Schicksal is like, kind of a mercenary group specifically trained/equipped to handle monsters.

Like, for the public, Schicksal (and Anti-Entropy) are a group hired by governments so they dont need to worry about the (Honkai) monsters.

When in reality its almost the exact opposite, but with that coverup/front, seeing Schicksal Valkyries around isn't anything unusual really.

Like I keep thinking about that miniplot in Alien Space where the Arahato is sighted and a bunch of ufo fans blog about it and I'm just like, they have to put so much effort into staying completely secret, why not just be open about your existence while covering up how bad it really is?

Like, this late into the timeline (near year 2000) they really couldnt come out and say that there's monsters and they've always existed. That just wouldn't work. It would have to be from the beginning that the lie/coverup is made.

So in Snippets, Schicksal never hid the existence of Honkai beasts (aka, monsters). And, like, couldn't they also use that to justify the church being so powerful? Throw in some "monsters from hell! God has granted us the duty to eradicate them!" or something.

Hide away Herrschers and the fact that Honkai has a Will. It just takes an unbelieveable amount of effort and opens the way for many implausible moments to hide the existence of Honkai monsters which can appear anywhere. ESPECIALLY with the internet.

Someone could go into the wilderness and camp for a week and encounter a Honkai beast and upload it onto the internet.

In canon, that's a huge breach and requires a ton of effort into covering it up and deleting it from the internet or playing it as a fake video or a conspiracy theory.

In Snippets, an online post about a monster would be met with "contact Schicksal or your government and they'll handle it." comments. (And of course, idiots would try to do "lets see how close I can get to this Honkai monster!" videos and die doing it.)

And I guess regarding the Moon coverup in Snippets, its pretty much the same. "There just wasnt anything useful to find on the dark side of the moon." "It would cost too much to build stuff there right now." "We're thinking about expanding to the moon someday in the future." just a lot of dismissals and handwaving it off.

[trickstarbrave]

squeeee dragon! dragon! cute baby dragon! its so cute, you did such a great job drawing him!

more deets on obsidian please? also!! ansa's interactions w him!

I love Obsidian so much ofc I’ll talk abt him 😭

>she found the egg after a puzzle that required blood, and he was in a furnace. Seems like the cult was trying and failing to hatch him. His egg was smooth and shiny as obsidian, hence his name. Ansa just carried it at first thinking it might be important but quickly learned she couldn’t get rid of it and kept staring at it, turning it over, and gently talking to it. The guild, understandably, thought she was crazy bc they all thought it was just a stupid rock

>egg turns super hot when hatching except to its parents so when brynolf tried to grab it it burned his hand. He still has a slight scar from it that obsidian seems apologetic abt even tho none of them were sure how he could know or how sentient he is

>he’s a little menace as a baby. If Ansa isn’t holding him he will begin crying and wailing like he’s being killed and rip up anything he can reach so. No super important stealthy missions for Ansa for a while

>he has black scales and red horns and eyes!

>loves to ride on her shoulder or in her traveling bag

>when the Helgen attack happens he’s very excited to see his dad and refused to GET BACK IN THE FUCKING BAG

>his first shout is ‘fus’ after Ansa learns it, followed by ‘yol’

>was bottle fed at first b4 moving on to basically eating anything. He loves salmon and apples the most but loves trying to catch dragonflies more

>the second Delphine sees him she knows he’s a dragon and wants to kill him so I imagine she’ll be a problem later on

>begins speaking common like a toddler around the 2 year mark which will. Deffo freak Ansa out as her baby learns full sentences

>obsidian insists on sleeping on Ansa. Even if she tosses and turns he Will find a way

>likes being held like a human baby bc his mom looks human so obv he should be held like humans hold their babies

>Delvin keeps feeding him scraps even tho Ansa told him not to.

>tries to dig up dragon burial mounds if Alduin hasn’t gotten to them yet

>technically has a supernatural sense of where both of his parents are but he’s a crybaby and if his mom is not with him 24/7 he IS going to throw a tantrum. So he could basically function as an alduin detector

>he can’t swim yet :( he wants to swim with his feral mom who catches fishies for him bare handed in her underwear like the freak she is

>actually rly likes foxes and wants to play w them. They don’t feel the same way tho. This I just think is funny bc shor and foxes. Yknow

>loves gold. He wants to learn to pickpocket like his mom, but he doesn’t have hands so it is pretty difficult. He WILL steal stuff from markets tho. Mama is in the thieves guild ofc he thinks stealing is okay

>loves giving kisses. He’s a very sweet boy

>one time ate a bee and his cheek swelled up. Odahviing who is traveling w them found this hilarious. Ansa nearly strangled him for laughing at her baby. He did not eat bees after that but quickly formed plans on how to weaponize hives in combat if he ever needed to

>this is a spoiler but comes up quickly and is hinted at a lot: Ansa is the reincarnation of obsidian’s birth mom and Alduin’s mate. Alduin is stupid in denial abt this, bc ew mortal, even tho he knows a dragon egg can’t hatch unless one of its parents is incubating it and taking care of it

>related to this and also still a spoiler: obsidian’s uncle is Odahviing!! Alduin’s mate and Odahviing were clutch mates (after getting older most dragons normally just consider Akatosh their father and choose to ignore true sibling bonds above all else) and he finds Ansa pretty quickly and goes in human disguise to travel with her. Bc it’s funny and feels bad to leave his reborn sister with a baby alone if Alduin is gonna throw a tantrum and be stubborn abt it. I’m looking forward to these parts

[bengiyo]

Love in Translation Ep 3 Stray Thoughts

Last week, they opened the store and things were slow. Phumjai used Tammy in their marketing, and his parents ruined it at first by rushing to buy stuff. Phojai realized this and chewed his brother out, but Phumjai didn't know. Yang felt bad after this, because he was also going to yell at Phumjai, and instead used it as an opportunity to help Phumjai learn to ride a bike and feel more confident in himself. Additional messaging with Tammy went well, and we learned that Phumjai's interest in her is completely innocent and kind of cute. We also know that Yang has a thing for Phumjai, Odo has a thing for one of the workers, and Phojai has the other bestie here to keep an eye on Phumjai. Now, Tammy is here.

Incredible use of the lens flare as Yang reassures Phumjai that he should be himself with Tammy.

Now, Yang, why are you working in those tight ass white pants?

Hey, Tammy remembered Phumjai!

DRAMA: Yang and Tammy know each other!

Love them doing the IG research and coming to the same conclusion as Yang. Phojai may be harsh, but he's very protective of his brother.

Whoever is in charge of cinematography and lighting is doing a great job in this show.

I wonder if Yang is sabotaging the translations.

This show continues to land its comedic timing flawlessly. This latest rushing to Yang for translations bit was good.

I hope that Phojai and Yang team up later.

Oh my god. Tammy wins this round, but that entire scene was stellar. If you're gonna come for Tammy, Yang, you better not miss.

It's really impressive how effectively this show is using the depth of the frame for comedy.

I need every BL fan to watch this show so they can recognize Ngern Anupart immediately the way I do.

I totally get why Yang is smitten by Phumjai. He's got such a fun spirit.

Yang is not feeling all these gimmicks at all.

Offroad and Daou are good together. Seeing Phumjai come down from that fight to put on a cheerful face for the kid was solid work.

I like characters with a healthy amount of emotional intelligence, and going to reconcile with Phumjai after snapping at him and then getting scolded by his own employees is the kind of work I love to see.

Okay, Tammy! She may have been a player, but I am curious to see what her taking Phumjai seriously looks like. Seems like Yang is bisexual, and now has to deal with his ex as a rival. So fun!

Love that we went from a scene where Tammy praised the way Phumjai cares for people and is curious about them to a scene where Phumjai continues to care about Yang and is curious about his family and friends.

Teach you how to have a date? What in the Hidden Agenda? Yang, you better tell him that you're not gonna teach him how to dance with her.

I'm so excited to see these two go on a date. Truly, Phumjai's earnestness is holding the emotional truth of this date concept together.

I am ready to declare it: THIS IS MY FAVORITE SHOW CURRENTLY AIRING. I recently passed 50 productions watched this year, and I can already tell this one is probably going to sit in the top 5. This show is tight! Nothing is wasted. I haven't been this impressed with how well the scenes work together since The Warp Effect. This show is also funny! It's so good. I am so impressed with everyone, and especially Offroad. This character requires so much energy, and I never feel Phumjai faltering once.

[slashingdisneypasta]

(M.I.) It's not my school break, it's the niblings, and when everyone else has to be out of the house I have to make sure they don't burn it down. In their case, siblings are for conspiring with immediately after they've tried to kill each other. (Also, I can confirm that not all siblings will get you toilet paper. TMI: A few years back, before we knew I had problems with my thyroid gland, things went wonky once a month. So, there I am, stranded on the toilet with stuff coming out of every orifice. I call my sister, who happens to be on the computer, telling her I need a bucket because the garbage can is full, and get back "lemme finish this angry birds level." Bruh?)

Anyway, at long last, here is the next part. Also on AO3. Sorry in advance lol

                             A Little Over One Month Later

Nathanstill has a sense of time. He put a calendar up in the kitchen not long after arriving, saying he preferred knowing what day it was after losing track living on the streets. The date wasn't nearly as important as keeping himself warm and fed...right up until he realized it was New Year's and couldn't face another three sixty-five of the same thing.

Which means with or without The Cafe reminding you, you know it's Valentine's Day. The day Blackie is required to make a date with you during your free time or risk being locked up together.

He's been avoiding you lately and The Cafe feels too empty, too often. Nathan doesn't occupy the space in quite the same way. He's here and the building takes care of him, but he can't fix the wrongness. When Blackie's gone, The Cafe's missing a piece of itself.

You'd even venture to say the building feels sad.

He's still doing his job -throwing out tests and temptations- just staying away as much as possible. Leaving as soon as everything is resolved. Before he can be forced to spend any time alone with you.

In hindsight, kissing him was a bad idea. His disappearance left you feeling like an idiot and The Cafe off-kilter. Maybe you should've asked before making the whole thing awkward, but you didn't think you were wrong for assuming a mutual interest. Not with the way he looked at you sometimes. You thought he was only waiting for a sign to make a move.

Now you know it was never going to happen. When the building does manage to catch him, he ignores you. No teasing that borders on flirting. Not even an acknowledgment you're in the room. More often than not, The Cafe is forced to give up and let both of you out. You still have to do your jobs, after all. And sleep.

You're extremely grateful the meddling matchmaker hasn't made the two of you share a bed. You just know Blackie would 'accidentally' roll over and knock you in the floor on principle.

It's lonely without him. You've gotten spoiled to having him around making you laugh. Making him laugh. Not the quick, sardonic chuckle reserved for those he's toying with. This one is slightly insane and higher-pitched than expected.

Nathan keeps making the whole thing worse, asking what's wrong with your boyfriend. No matter how often you remind him that's not the case. It's obvious he's doing it on purpose. A 'joking' manifestation of his unfair grudge against you. Of course you're glad he's cheering up, but he needs to find a new way to amuse himself. It's nowhere near as funny to you.

Kinda painful, actually.

Blackie had disappeared this morning as soon as The Cafe became visible, leaving you to wake up in a place that was tangibly moping. He won't be back until a customer shows up.

How he just...knows when its safe to return, you've no idea. But you'd like to. To somehow fake whatever pull the customers exert on him.

You have breakfast in the center booth, halfheartedly eating pancakes and sipping cocoa while staring wistfully at the palm trees growing by the road. No idea yet if it's winter or summer out there, only that no one's taking you surfing, regardless. Sure, you could go alone, but the activity is too strongly associated with him.

Besides, half the fun lies in Blackie taking verbal potshots at your skill on those increasingly rare occasions you fall. (It only happens outside. Inside, The Cafe's always keeps you safely on the board.) Which then gives you the right to slap water in his face. The splash fights are your favorite part.

"Boyfriend gone again," Nathan asks from his spot at the counter, nursing a black coffee and scrambled eggs.

"Shut up," you mutter resentfully.

You don't have the heart to fire back more than that. The remark hurts and you don't need him rubbing salt in the wound when it already sucks being lonely for someone who doesn't want you around.

The door swings in, admitting a tall woman with red hair; her green sundress and the burst of warm air giving away which hemisphere you've landed in. Her eyes fall on Nathan, widening in shock at the same time he chokes on his coffee. You recognize her at once from the clips of his past.

"Maureen," he rasps.

There's a sparkle of gold on her finger you don't think he's seen, yet.

"Nate."

You're guessing the shock on her face is down to finding a cafe staffed by her ex-husband here on the other side of the world. She doesn't know he's dead. John Doe has yet to be identified.

Nathan is visibly uncomfortable, but you only have a moment to enjoy it before the entire building seems to perk up. The air righting itself. He doesn't seem to notice, though you suppose he must or will eventually. It's impossible to spend much time with The Cafe and not become acquainted with its moods.

The traitor in your chest gives a painful thump. Blackie's here. And he's probably going to pretend you don't exist.

"Surprised to see you doing an honest job," Maureen snarks at Nathan.

Reality glitches and Blackie is watching the exchange through the kitchen window. You can't help smiling to see him there.

"I couldn't ask for a better employee" he pipes up.

The other two jump. You bristle at the apparent dig, smile fading. Normally, Blackie doesn't care much for Nathan. More than once, you've heard the former make a snide remark about losing everything after another 'boyfriend' jab. It doesn't make any sense for Blackie to be playing wingman...except as a subtle way of telling you he'd caught your moon-eyed expression. Reminding you he wasn't interested.

"That's even more surprising," Maureen remarks. She glances from Nathan and over her shoulder to the door. "Maybe I should-"

You know she has to stay awhile. That it's important for Nathan.

You're going to help, even if he's an ass who doesn't deserve it. Jumping up from your breakfast, you steer her into the first booth.

"At least get something to go," you suggest with a coaxing smile you hate to admit learning from Blackie. "You must be hungry."

"Those pancakes do look good."

"I can personally guarantee they are. Made them myself."

Nathan isn't allowed anywhere near your food no matter how often he cooks for others. You don't trust him not to spit in it.

"Make it a double order." Her expression turns guilty. "For my husband."

For a moment, you're confused. Then Nathan shoves his plate of eggs across the counter to clatter on the floor. Making you realize she meant the new one. You give him a disapproving look, feeling an answering twinge in the air. The building hates a messy floor almost as much as it hates boredom.

Blackie tsks, reaching down and producing a napkin you know came from nowhere. He drops it through the window onto the eggs. Nathan gets the hint. Making his way over to kneel in the floor with a heavy sigh, he starts gathering bits of scramble and depositing them onto the napkin.

"Might want a broom for the rest," you snark quietly on your way past.

"Shut up," he mutters, as resentful as you had been.

"Don't be rude, Nate," Blackie calls through the window, tone just cheerful enough to be insulting.

You almost smile again at the way Nathan glares. For a moment, you and Blackie are on the same side. The urge passes when he very deliberately and conspicuously -to you, at least- hangs back as you enter the kitchen at the same time he's trying to leave. 

He's gone the second you clear the door. Sauntering over and plunking himself down across from Maureen.

"Honeymoon or anniversary," he asks casually.

"Honeymoon." Followed by another uncomfortable glance at Nathan.

"Thought I detected a 'new bride' glow."

Through the window, you see Nathan rise hastily to his feet, storming off toward the men's room. Likely going to his own or wherever else it is he goes to sulk. You've never bothered to ask.

"I really should leave," Maureen says, moving to do just that.

"Don't worry about ol' Nate," Blackie says, disarming her with the same smile you'd borrowed. "He'll be fine when the shock wears off."

The pancakes are on the griddle, but The Cafe is making the process excrutiatingly slow. Dragging things out until it can do the same with Nathan. Without asking, you add two sides of scrambled eggs -one with cheese- and crispy bacon. It's a sort of not-quite instinct to know that Maureen and her new husband will like them. Knowledge imparted by the building without words.

Blackie's chatting away with her, chipper as anything, and you're trying not to feel jealous. It's not like he's interested. She's married.

It's literally his job to steer people down a bad path. Cheating, for example...

Anyway! He wouldn't be interested in her. Even if she's built like the perfect cross between an Amazon warrior and a runway model. He just...wouldn't. Right? Right.

It's a relief when Nathan finally returns. To an outsider's eye, he's hesitant but willing to approach. To you, it's obvious he didn't agree to come back and The Cafe practically has him by the ear. Marching him over like a determined mother.

...Actually, that's an apt comparison. Scolding, worrying, matchmaking...it's all very maternal. Doesn't seem right, suddenly, to be calling the old girl 'it.'

As Nathan is drawn nearer to the booth, Blackie vacates the seat for him. You know. You just know as soon as those two resolve whatever they need to resolve, he'll disappear. Jealousy and hurt feelings have the words out before you can stop them. Whispered sadly to the pancakes.

"I wish Blackie would stop ignoring me."

Seven little words. A small tactical error. And...well, now you're in a Monkey's Paw of a situation.

Blackie can't avoid you here, in this ridiculously small room lit only by a single overhead bulb. Just enough light to see the way he's trying to stay pressed to the wall behind him and away from you. A thing which is next to impossible because you still have to breathe and every inhale is pushing certain parts inconveniently forward.

You try taking a step back, as well, only to run into a wall of your own. You can't hold your breath, either. Pausing for too long after an exhale just makes the next inhale even deeper. He tries putting his hands up as a barrier between your bodies, which proves to be a mistake. You breathe in sharply at the accidental grazing and he quickly folds his arms.

"Really," he snaps, looking up at the ceiling. "You're doing this now?"

You've never heard Blackie take that tone with The Cafe. Genuine anger. He listens to something you can't hear, clearly not happy with whatever it is.

"No, you're the one being stub-" He pauses, huffing indignantly. "No! Can't you take a hint?!" Another long pause, then he looks down at you accusingly. "Apparently, neither can you."

You know you're caught. But it's not like you meant to wind up here. Not exactly. Just...maybe he could look at you or say hi or something. That's all you'd wanted. 

"Sorry."

You mirror his posture, self-defensively apologetic, trying to block his elbows from touching things. The best and only way to get some distance.

For a roundabout definition, anyway. Emotional rather than physical, with your arms bumping in spite of the closed-off body language. He keeps tucking his shoulders in a weird, uncomfortable way. Trying to draw his arms closer to his body and away from yours. 

"You just had to make a wish, didn't you," he sneers.

"Again, I'm sorry. I just...I missed you, okay?"

Blackie raises a hand, rubbing at his forehead. He looks pained. Like you've just confessed to shooting his dog for fun.

"Terrific." There's as much defeat as anger in it. His jaw ticks as he looks up again. "See what you've done?...It's a ba- No, listen, it's a ba- Butt out, already!"

From your perspective, that was only a sputtering monologue. But he keeps doing it. You're undeniably curious.

"...Does The Cafe actually speak to you? In words?"

"Obviously." He waves away the question before returning fully to the defensive posture. "Don't change the subject."

"I wasn't trying-" It's your turn to look upward, blowing a strand of hair away from your forehead. "Alright. Look, I don't know what else I can say, here. I didn't mean for this to happen."

"You realize we're stuck until this place gives up?"

It goes without saying that Nathan wouldn't open the door if he could. Not only would he laugh about this if he knew, but you can hear his voice raised in anger. Right alongside Maureen's. Apparently she'd finally disappeared without warning, not giving him another chance to woo her with more empty promises. Good strategy with that type, really. Can't say you blame her.

Oh! She was pregnant at the time. Ouch. You almost feel bad for ol' Nate. 

There's an idle thought given to the food you'd left cooking, but you don't believe The Cafe would burn it.

You also don't believe you're stuck. It doesn't take a genius to work out what she might want from this. Two people alone in a tiny closet. You're reminded of that old party game. The incredibly invasive one where couples are locked in for a grand total of-

"We might not...have to be," you venture awkwardly, giving Blackie a vaguely hopeful look. "...I'll bet I could get us out in, say...seven minutes."

From the slight widening of his eyes, he's definitely following your train of thought. He immediately turns you down, shaking his head for emphasis.

"Absolutely not. We're not doing that."

"Good odds," you argue, hurt that he's choosing now to refuse a bet. After trying all this time to lure you into one. "You know what she's like."

"She?"

You've never seen him confused. Eyebrows drawing together as he skeptically repeats the word. He winces suddenly, rolling his eyes and rubbing the side of his arm.

"Fine. She. And we're still not doing that."

"Do you have any suggestions?"

The hurt bleeds through in your tone, making you feel even more awkward. Now he'll know you wanted to kiss him. Like you hadn't already made that embarrassingly obvious.

"Yes. I'm pretending you're not here until the door opens."

"You know, I'm getting really sick of that!"

He starts to retort, then simply closes his mouth and heaves a sigh. Turning his gaze back to the ceiling. The silence stretches on uncomfortably.

You're not making it any less so by studying his profile. You can help it. He's right there, closer than he's been in weeks, and the beard really suits him. He's almost too handsome. Devilishly, one might say.

"Stop." 

Caught, you turn your own eyes to the ceiling. Trying a different bid for freedom:

"I wish we were out of here."

Back with Nathan and Maureen, who've progressed to name-calling. They could use a referee.

Blackie snorts derisively.

"You thought that would work?"

"No." Another long stretch of silence. "Maybe if we...talk about it?"

"Nothing to talk about."

"Apart from the massive elephant in the room," you scoff.

It's crowding you in, taking what little bit of space the two of you managed to carve out in here.

"I don't comment on your weight."

”Can you please take this seriously?”

You sigh and shift, not amused by the deflection. Bumping his knee with yours. He immediately retreats half an inch to the wall.

“Rather not."

You're going to have your say whether he likes it or not, and determinedly plow on.

"I just...thought we had something. On both sides."

"Took you longer than most," he says flatly. "I'll give you that."

"What?"

"We don't have 'something,'" he draws quotes around the word, once more sneering at you. "Not on my side, anyway. But you-" He shakes his head, all condescending pity. "What can I say? I was designed to be irresistible."

He shrugs lazily; arms still folded to keep you at bay. The way he looks you up and down, after, with blatant contempt, tells you his next words before he says them out loud. The lack of surprise doesn't take away from the sting.

"Unlike you."

Blinking, you will yourself not to cry in front of him. Damn him for being right. Because of course he is. His looks, the easy way he charms people when he's not being a complete ass...he's literally temptation personified.

You're just you. A last chance nobody who's taken to borrowing a few of his tricks. You’re not special, that glint in his eye is for everyone. There's no way you could ever be any sort of temptation to him...

Or can you?

That was deliberately cruel. Something you know he's capable of, but never had directed your way. His blunt remarks always had a softened, playful edge. 

"I never took you for a liar," you say, testing the waters.

Watching his reaction.

There's a warning look in his eyes. It goes unheeded.

Because there's something else that needs testing. Never, not once in all these years, has Blackie ever touched you. Even in the most dangerous ocean, if you should happen to wobble his hand presses the air and you're stable again.

He always acts somewhere between amused and inconvenienced when you grab at his arm. Laughing at the silly little human who can't resist touching him in whatever capacity.

He's trying to avoid touching you, now, despite the limited space. Hadn't cracked a single joke about accidentally feeling you up when you were first dropped in, either.

He ran away after you kissed him, even though you'd caught him Looking several times since that night at the movies.

Either you're completely hideous or it's not just the flimsy moral highground that puts thumbtacks in your chair. He's not allowing himself to do anything that requires touching you back.

Avoiding temptation.

"Or a coward," you continue recklessly.

Deliberately swaying forward into his bubble, you run a hand down his arm. If he were to uncross them, there'd be another accidental groping.

"Don't."

The gritted teeth warning also goes unheeded. He twitches his arm sharply, throwing you off as much as the closet allows. But you've made your point.

This time, when you fold your arms it's a smug gesture. Smirking at him as you lean more casually against the wall.

"Let me out right now," he says, eyes fixed warily on you but his words addressed to the ceiling, "Or find yourself a new partner."

He can do that? Just leave forever?

Apparently, he can and it’s an effective threat because you suddenly find yourself back in the kitchen next to four perfectly cooked pancakes; along with a pan of fluffy eggs and crispy bacon.

Blackie's nowhere in sight. Or the building. Sighing to yourself, you grab a couple of styrofoam containers and pack up the food to go. Sprinkling cheese onto one serving of the eggs. 

It's quiet in the dining room. Nathan's gone, too. Maureen sits drumming her fingers impatiently on the table, staring out the window.

You pop the containers into a bag, hurrying out to her.

"Here you go," you say with forced cheer. "Sorry about the delay and the...everything. Slow stove."

If that registers as nonsense, she doesn't show it. Just takes the bag, asks how much and hands over the requested amount. No tip, but that's fair.

You place the money in the register as she leaves, caught in a confusing whirlwind of triumph and frustration. Blackie's definitely interested. 

He's just not going to do a damn thing about it.

Nathan finally shows up late in the evening, well after dark -after you've been fielding a small rush alone all day- slinking out of the men's room with reddened eyes. Blackie's still gone, but you find yourself capable of cruelty in his place. Digging your spoon into the sundae you'd made yourself for dinner, a little treat after a hard day, you grin sharply at Nathan. 

"Where's the wife got to," you ask, as if you weren't fully aware she'd left hours ago. 

No answer, just a stiffening of his shoulders as he darts past into the kitchen. 

"We're gonna be here a few days, I think," you go on with false cheer. "Maybe she'll bring the kid by and you'll find out whether the new hubby has a stepson or daughter." 

There's a spectacular crash as several pots and pans hit the floor. Followed by another. And another. The Cafe radiates disapproval, but it's directed at you. Making you feel a pang of remorse. When things fall silent, you hurry into the kitchen. Nathan stands among the wreckage, gripping the edge of the island. Head bowed and shoulders visibly trembling. 

"Hey, I'm sor-" 

"No, you're not," he interrupts bitterly, voice thick.

"You're right, I'm not," you admit, keeping your tone casual. Daring to lay a hand on his shoulder. "I've been having a terrible time, lately, and that's partly your fault. You've earned this." 

He snorts, a weird sound somewhere between a laugh and an extremely phlegmy sob. 

"Maureen said the same thing." 

"Actually, she said you were a lousy, unreliable son of a bitch." 

Another almost laugh. He doesn't move your hand. 

"She wasn't wrong." His tone sobers as he continues, "If she'd just told me-" 

"Everything would have stayed exactly the same." 

This time he does knock your hand away, giving you an offended look. 

"Get over it and help me clean this up," you tell him sternly. You can't resist lecturing as the two of you work. "You didn't change when she left. Or when you lost all your money. Or when Blackie gave it all back. You quite literally gambled your way onto the streets and never once tried to improve. That poor woman was better off as a single mother. At least she knew all the money was going to feed her child." 

Nathan keeps slamming the pots and pans around while cleaning, letting you know he doesn't appreciate anything you're saying. 

"So I'm irredeemable and damned, is that it," he snaps. 

"As long as you keep wallowing in self-pity, yes." 

You suspect that he will get to meet his unknown child. To face up to his regrets. 

It reminds you of a few regrets of your own. Like never having a chance to find out if you’d wanted children or not. Your only goal in life had been to follow Tommy, the two of you plotting your castle in the air with the idea that someday you’d think about the possibility. Maybe. Then you went into survival mode as he took one bad deal after another and there wasn’t time to worry about pregnancy. 

You’d defined so much of yourself around him. Maureen was like a glimpse into a world where you saved yourself years of misery.

Nathan’s the bitter man Tommy could have easily become if it weren’t for you and his dogged optimism. The knowledge softens you enough to offer an olive branch.

”But you’ve still got a shot,” you say, smiling thinly as you echo Blackie’s remark from a lifetime ago. “As long as you’re here, anyway.”

You’re alone in your amusement, with Nathan lacking the proper context to recognize what would have been an inside joke. 

“Maybe I don’t want it,” he grumbles, slamming one last pan back into place. 

“So, hypothetically, if things were setting up for you to know more about the kid…?” 

Because he clearly needs that before he can move on.

”About all I’ve missed and can’t have? No, thank you.” 

The Cafe shares your disappointment as you leave the kitchen, drawn out by the swing of the front door and yet another customer.

No one important enough to make Blackie return. The building remains painfully empty and the air completely wrong. 

Happy Valentine's Day to you. 

Oh my goodness M.I, I'm sorry, but your sister is a gremlin. I'm going back in time to get you as many buckets and mints as you need.

Okay now I'll read the fic. Little worried about that that apology, but-

'What can I say? I'm designed to be irresistible' 'Unlike you'- M.I, LET ME TRANSFER INTO THIS FIC SO THAT I CAN S M A C K THIS MAN ON BEHALF OF READER.

Reader, we aren't talking to him anymore. Come on. You deserve so much better. We have to leave the sad immortal alone to do his sad immortal things << <<

But really, seriously, M.I, ohhhhhhhhh my god. This one was a heart wrencher!! Your writing, man, I- you're the master XD Thank you so much for this addition!! I hope you're getting a little more free time now and getting to relax ^^