#its fine. im fine. its fine its ok we're good over here im chilling the fuck out its all good here how is everyone else whats up
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dyingtobehim · 6 months ago
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oh i could break down a door i could kool aid man through a wall by harnessing the anger in my ribs i could football tackle a large cow i could pick up a house
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lavender---sunshine · 7 months ago
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Like ok how you going to guilt ME for not making you go 3 hours out of the way?
#a family member died. they live 3 hrs from me. and 8 hours from my parents#funeral is on Wednesday#first mom was like ok we'll come to Tuesday and all go together Wednesday and drive back the same night#I'm like...seems unlikely that you'll do that#she's like well a hotel will be expensive#(ok girl no offense but this family member lives in bum fuck nowhere. hotels are under $100. do you need money?)#im like you don't...need to stop by here. your adding 3 hours to your trip#shes like but we should all go as a family#(sir permission to speak sir but i dont want to be in a car with ya'll for six hours either...)#im like ok fine but come Tuesday. we all go up Wednesday. you leave Thursday.#she responds no we'll come on Monday leave Friday.#and stay at your place the whole time to save money#uh. no.#thats absolutely not how that works.#this isn't a holiday inn. i miss my parents but i hate that they think they can just stay here whenever#if it was just me fine. but i dont live in this house alone and hate imposing them on my roommate#also they didnt ask. they're just like we're going to be there a week.#hello? no girl. i have work. your not lurking in my house for 3 extra days for no reason#i told her no. come down Tues. we all go together wed. you leave thur. and also please keep in mind you inconvenience my roommate#when you just come over. i know this used to be your house but it's hers now and she doesn't need you guys in her personal space for a week#just for a 1 day funeral#hours later shes like oh we're going to spend the night there then. you have to drive yourself. you cant come with us. you don't want us#in your house fine. we won't come visit again.#GOOD. IF THERES ONE THING I HATE ITS AN UNINVITED GUEST#you don't need to drive 11 hours just to hang out with me for 1.5 days. chill.
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matt-roseheart · 2 months ago
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I 'Lava' you
A short murder drones fanfic based on @dronebiscuitbat 's characters from their rp blog, @ask-elliot-doorman-fam, Tera and Kiara, Rad is here too :P
Kiara paced around the hideout cave, nervously fiddling with her fingers. "What if she doesn't like it? What if she thinks its too cheesy? what if-" Her rant is cut off by Rad trying to calm her down.
"Kia chill, this is Tera you're talking about, sure she may be tough, but every tough person i know has a soft and squishy side that loves this stuff" He says, as he's on the couch tuning a ukulele. "So, lets go over the plan one more time before shes back from checking the perimiter"
Kiara takes a deep breath, which doesn't help much to calm her nerves, "Okay, we're here becase you are 'practicing' for the short-story musical Mr.Roseheart is hosting,"
"Which is thankfully real, couldn't think of an exuse otherwise" He adds.
"Mhm, and hopefully she'll agree to sing along, oh robo-god i hope she'll sing along, she has to for this to work" Kia was nervous about that part, Tera had a beautiful voice, but only ever sang in the privacy of her room. Hopefully the hideout would be enough to bring her out of her shell a bit, no chances of others overhearing her here.
Before Kiara could linger on that thought, there was a sudden whoosh at the entrance, meaning Tera was back. Kia rushed to a seat, put on headphones, and brought up her laptop to a blank page, pretending to be writing something. No stories would be written today, only some of her thoughts going a million miles an hour, dont screw this up please work i have to tell her.
"okay, outside is clear, so Rad, why did you bring a ukulele again?" Tera asked, as she sat down on the other side of the couch.
"Oh, you know the musical Mr.Roseheart is gonna be hosting?" Wait, did she even know about that?
"The music teacher? Uh, yeah i think I've heard about that. Isn't it about a bunch of short-stories instead of one big one? My dad seems pretty interested in going." N had seemed exited when he heard about it, even wanted to audition.
Oh thank robo-god
"Yup, a friend of mine that auditioned asked if i could help with their story, so im here to practice"
"Ok, cool"
"And i was hoping you could help."
"Oh? with what? Guitar?"
"Vocals, i struggle on my own when theres multiple characters singing"
Oh no, she did not like the sound of that.
"I am NOT going anywhere near a stage and singing, no way!" Tera growled, which made kiara more nervous.
"No no no, just for practice, only here. The only audience being Kia" Rad said, as he motioned over to where Kiara was sitting. "The part I need you to sing is basically the same line over and over a few times anyway, please?" He was looking up at her with puppy eyes, hoping to convince her.
Tera hesitated for a moment, normally she wouldn't, but in this case, it was just the three of them, no prying ears to worry about, so why not. "Ugh, fine. But if a video of this starts floating around, you're dead. whats the song?"
"Do you know the song 'Lava'?" She should, Kiara made sure to show her, hoping Tera would listen to it for this.
"That cheesy lovesong between two volcanoes? Yeah, i think Kia showed that to me a while ago"
Good, so far the plan is working "Cool, I'll be the narrator, so all you need to sing is the volcano's part. Do you know the words?"
"He basically says the same thing over and over, so yeah, whenever you're ready." Wow, Kiara was suprised, this is going a lot smoother than she thought it would.
With Tera ready, Rad began to play, and sing suprisingly well, like he's practiced before....
"A long long time ago, there was a volcano, living all alone in the middle of the sea."
"He sat high above his bay, watching all the couples play, and wishing that he had someone too."
"And from his lava came, this song of hope that he sang out loud, every day for years and years" With her part coming up, Tera cleared her throat and began.
"I have a dream I hope will come true, that you're here with me, and I'm here with you, I wish that the earth sea and the sky up above will send me someone to lava"
"Years of singing all alone turned his lava into stone, until he was on the brink of extinction"
"But little did he know that living in the sea below, another volcano was listening to his song"
"Every day she heard his tune her lava grew and grew because she believed his song was meant for her"
"Now she was so ready to finally meet him above the sea as he sang his song of hope for the last time"
"I have a dream I hope will come true, that you're here with me, and I'm here with you, I wish that the earth sea and the sky up above will send me someone to lava"
At that part, Kiara began to remove her headphones and close her laptop, nervously making her way over behind Tera.
"Rising from the sea below stood a lovely volcano, looking all around but she could not see him"
"He tried to sing to let her know that she was not there alone, but with no lava his song was all gone"
"He filled the sea with his tears as he watched his dreams dissapear as she remembered what his song meant to her"
Tera was about to sing the next part, thinking nothing of it, until someone else began to sing, making her jump as she turned around to see Kiara.
"I have a dream I hope will come true, that you're here with me, and I'm here with you, I wish that the earth sea and the sky up above will send me someone to lava"
Tera was caught off guard, by both her singing and the fact that Kia reached out to hold her hand that was resting on the arm of the couch. Theres no way, is she....
As Tera realised what she was doing, Rad continued the song.
"Oh they were so happy to finally meet above the sea, all together now their lava grew and grew"
"No longer are they all alone with aloha as their new home, and when you visit them this is what they sing" Tera, now holding onto Kiara's hand, hoping this wasn't a dream, continued with her.
"I have a dream i hope will come true"
"That you'll grow old with me"
"And I'll grow old with you"
"We thank the earth sea and the sky we thank too"
"I Lava you"
"I Lava you"
"I Love you"
Tera's face was all blush, lighting up the cave with a lavender glow, along with Kia's equally bright white blush. They sat there staring at eachother in awe for a minute before Kia broke the silence.
"Was that too cheesy?"
Tera stood and said, "Not at all, you weren't practicing for the musical, were you?" she asked looking over at thad.
"Nope, this was all her idea" He motioned over towards Kiara.
"So did you like it?" She asked nervously.
"I loved it" Tera said, before placing a kiss on Kia's forehead, nearly sending her into a reboot.
"Oh! I think I need to sit down" Tera sat back down, with Kia sitting next to her.
As Tera put her arm around Kiara, she let out a sigh of relief, everything went perfectly, and she couldn't be happier.
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ubike-official · 1 month ago
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hello everynyan, date update for those who care abt my silly little dating life lol:
Sooo uhh it was interesting, the day leading up to this my friend was having a bad time at home and asked to stay the night. i was like ofc sure, he's met her before and they were cool and also she will probably be gone before he gets there anyways. i was scared abt my dog bc he doesn't like new people and sometimes growls at ppl if they pet him weird or approach him wrong. i try to warn everyone of this but i don't know how best to explain what to do and not do. and my dog is half pitbull half lab so he's big and a bit intimidating for ppl that don't have bigger dogs.
also he growled at my friend the night before. so i was like. im going to give him sooo much dog cbd, patchy plsss dont ruin this for me. He was fine but i was anxious when i woke up at like 7am to walk him. i get a text at 7:30 from tresspassing dude that he's on his way. and I'm like WYM ON YOUR WAY... THATS SO EARLY. i then wake up my friend to let her know whats going on. she was there with us for like 2.5 before leaving and i was scared it'd be awkward but tbh it was good. she helps cut the initial anxiety bc she's a yapper (lovingly) and i can yap with ppl i know well but I'm more of a listener. trespassing dude (his names andrew) is also more of a listener. so we both are just quiet a lot. so she helped getting both of us talking bc sometimes that is an issue.
We started baking, doing prep stuff. we leave the bread to rise, go on a little walk around my neighborhood to see this house with a chicken coop. We then see some squirrels and im like "oh two of em, cute" and andrew was like, "oh no theres three, one behind that car." and he points but I can't see over it. im 5'0/153cm hes 5'9/175 then is like "wait.. no you can't see that" and I'm like, "ah yea thats ok! i believe you theres one there" and then he offer to pick me up so i can see it. and I'm mentally like.... OH and i agree ofc and at that point my friend is like.. wow this corner is so interesting, imma look over here. and he picks me up. tbh i was not looking at the squirrel i was just thinking "wow, this is not a thing this guy would offer platonically" like idk how to describe him but he's quiet and withdrawn and not the type to just be like "i will pick u up" to friends. i have friends and know ppl like that, this guy is Not One Of them. So that ends and I'm like, cool thanks! and then my friend is like, okay its about time to take my leave and parts ways.
Then we finish baking and grill some meat for sandwiches. This entire time we're in the kitchen he is washing like every single dish. i did not have to ask once, he just kinda did it. And i was impressed. bare minimum ik, but i was daydreaming beforehand like "aww this will be so cute. I'll be washing dishes and then handing them to him to dry c: so domestic" but nope, he beat me to it, roles reversed. which was such a nice surprise as he like rarely takes the initiative for stuff. its gotten better but idk the way he was when we first met is still etched in my brain.
So we do that, finish up and chill for a bit. i showed him my sketchbooks and there was this one hand study i showed him and he's like. "oh my pinkys are fucked up" and they are. they're like bend in, i noticed this before but didn't say anything bc it felt odd to comment on. and then before long hes like it feels odd so I'm like.. can i feel it? and yea. then i had him feel what mine are like and ... gay ppl and their hands. there was a lot of little like casual touching and brush of hands. like normally if i like handed him something or like sat by him we would like not touch, it was so sterile. it drove all my friends insaneeeee. but finally it was different this time which was so nice.
Afterwards we go bouldering at this park by my house and I've been there before but I'm a bit out of shape since the last time i went. It happens, but I didn't realize it til we start climbing and I'm like. oh fuck this may have been a mistake. We also took a harder route to the top by accident. There was this one little mini cave he found and i couldn't make it up bc i just didnt have the flexibility to get my leg on the foot hold to get up. nor do i have the upper body strength to pull myself up as my arms are weak as hell. And he called like "where are you!?" and i was like "oh you go on and explore and then meet me back down here, i can't get up, my legs won't reach the foot hold" and he got down and was like "nah I'll pull you up" and i was like... No You Will Not. bc i have issues and I haaaaate asking for help. Also he's like strong I'm sure. i know he does work out a lot but he has a pretty small frame and i was like... worried. Last thing i wanted was for both of us to get hurt bc of me. Like I'd kms.
But he insisted so i took his help and it was cool. I'm very glad he did that. there was another instance where i was going down a rock and slipped and he went down first and like, i would not have gotten hurt. it was just mentally scary but if i landed hard it still would have been fine. but as i sloped i yelled like "SHIT" and next thing i know he's on top of me bear hug so i dont fall which was soooooo embarrassing omg but also very nice. i apologized profusely bc... as i mentioned. i got problems with taking help. hyper independence is real. There were a few more instances where he offered to help me and i declined and i hope it did not come across harshly, it honestly might have. and he was just being kind however i just HATE accepting help. I know... its bad. i will continue to work on it.
We look around, saw some really cool stuff. Had a few more little close moments which i will skip for brevity bc this is already Sooo long.
i debriefed with the friend who was at my house and say the first 2 hrs and she was like.... oh yea he definitely likes you. And as soon as he got home he told everyone on our discord that we made bread together. To me it looked like the nerd equivalent of a ig soft launch story. So... yea :D
Finally we get back home and its like 5pm. i fully expected him to like stay for 10 min, get some water and be like, lol its late i gotta dip. Which i would Not have been mad abt. he was at my place since 8am. this was the longest we've hung out before. But nope he lingered for an hour more. like we really did not have any reason to stay. We were just talking abt nothing rlly on my couch and like slowly getting closer, like i remember it now and it was the Perfect chance to be like "hey i like you" or do Something. but there was already soooo much progress and i was like, sage lets not get greedy. final win though was he asked me to go to a concert with him of a band we both like and its so funny.
bc i saw they announced their tour like 2 weeks ago and thought, aww it'd be nice if we went to together but i really didn't want to have to ask. I'm always scared of being too much and being a "clingy desperate woman" to a guy who doesn't like her. this has happened before. its been years, i should be over it but I'm not. that wound isnt healed but I'm working on it. And thankfully he brought it up and asked me to go. And that concerts like next year so like... thats a really nice sign. and yea. it was just rlly good. I'm happy. still kicking myself for not doing a little more but it was A Lot of Progress for me regardless and I do think our chemistry will only continue to deepen so I'm optimistic.
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awellboiledicicle · 8 days ago
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a fun mental health thing is sometimes my brain will pull a peekaboo antimemetic joke on me by slapping a whole barrier between my current whole deal and previous good times.
This is fun largely because when i come out the other side and the barrier slips or someone i haven't talked to in a while is like "hi" i'm looking around like. "wait,,,, my glasses were on my head the whole time??"
basically mental health for me is a lot of seeing the rails heading to a broken bridge and needing to be present enough to step back and notice there's a track swap i can hit and just like. go to another line. but when im wrapped up in it, i physically and emotionally cannot see the other line. so its a process of breathing and taking that step back.
But its hard. Because in the moment it feels like if i take that time i'll see its WORSE.
And its even more complicated because i have a whole ass internal crew trying desperately to keep the train going. But they're looped into the tunnel vision by virtue of being in the same head and noticing how they're tangled up in it is hard because we're all used to being a mental soup.
So even if one of THEM notice the other track, the rest of us are like "idk are you sure" and its then on me to go "ok wait hold on they might be right here. let me think."
which is fun because it requires me separating myself from the emotion and looking into it objectively. Recognizing that i'm feeling it, that it's a valid emotion to feel in that moment and accepting that i feel it without value attached. But also like i'm looking over a slide in a lab. I am not rubbing on the microorganisms. I am observing. I am tracing the path of the spread to the source colony and gram testing it. But like in my early therapy career here, CBT etc is very like "let the emotion in and sit with it and then accept it and let it pass". and interrogating the actual root of the emotions doesn't happen. You go in wanting to fix it and be done. You'd say "yes it feels like im in a crashing train, but its actually fine. i feel scared right now but its fine." and move on.
Anyway my point is its very fun for me to tease things apart because its very much like trying to work out the cultural basis for a social norm in the culture i've grown up not really examining. What impacts it. Why and how it was useful at the time it formed, and how it no longer meshes. So on.
I'm infinitely more active in the process of figuring out what the fuck is going on in here. But it does mean i feel wildly more silly when i come out of the thing. And it looks a whole lot worse on the outside because there's an initial bloom of emotion that i haven't quite worked out how to reign in that everyone can see, followed by me quietly interrogating it. and then once i understand im chill. Which looks like a 180 outside.
kitchen looks worse mid-remodel kinda thing.
anyway my point was sometimes recovery is looking around and going "actually i was pretty fucking jazzed for a bit back there but holy shit is it so much better now. fuck yeah." and then making a sticky note to poke through the blinder so you can remember that.
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tacky-optic · 4 months ago
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gonna be normal about lupin up top and insane about zeni at the bottom for a sec.
i love when people talk about lupin and Legacy because i. cannot. it eludes me. lupin eludes me. but for the variations of lupin where I and II's ghosts are very much prevalent, yes. simply yes. lupin III earned his rivalry with zenigata.
anyway, zaza man. good god ok one second. im fine im okay im so okay about this
i love thinking about past/transition/present zeni. you made me crack out my list op. my little zenigata timeline list that i made to try and define what the hell he is, or what he could be from special to movie to series. there are SO MANY goddamn depictions of this guy, but this was the easiest way to nail it down for me. inside you there are three zenigatas....
early zeni
- generic noir detective angstlord - tired - one of those total workaholic hardasses. no fun, no chill, ever - not even remotely pleasant to be around. runs solo because getting assigned to be his partner is some sorta Higher Form of Punishment - cruel, cold, calculating, etc etc, to a borderline villainish degree - anger issues because of-- - VERY repressed fellings for lupin. surely that tight little feeling he gets in his chest whenever he sees him must be hatred
mid zeni
- insane - tired - probably subconsciously aware that he's into lupin, but the denial is still off the charts - bombastic? that's a word - actually lets himself be happy! sorta. he's trying but its still kind of a lie - probably the simplest phase imo, if only bc he's going through a wholeass Total Restructuring right under everyone's noses
late zeni
- took over a decade but he actually mellowed out, good for him - tired - calculating in like, a cool unscary way - still has bursts of anger/insanity, just not as intense as early/mid - definitely more amicable/tolerable to be around, both on and off the case - wholly aware he loves lupin in some regard. the guy, the rivalry, the chase, the whatever. he feels love and no longer denies that it is, in fact, love
the basic gist tends to be "he was Miserable and Horrible until he Wasn't." ok ok, to be fair, there is still a degree of fatigue at play here that'd drive most other folks insane. he kinda had to become that little piece of the pie that "most" doesn't cover to compensate, hence why he's still totally miserable, just in a new special edition "indeterminably lupin" flavor (and the extra side of hypercompetency he's adopted that comes with it).
zenigata really did throw everything away for lupin. that's going to fking hurt and we're shown it fking hurts, whether it's played off for laughs or for genuine sympathy, and it's a real and resonant feeling, despite the oddness of its origin. but when presented with the choice between misery within perpetual mediocrity versus self-isolationist misery with the chance of a madcap burst of genuine, bone-deep, near-manic enjoyment here and there, we all know what this guy will end up choosing 100% of the time.
one of my favorites from the untranslated manga was this short storyline where zeni starts out as this mega cliche Serious Noir Detective Guy (from what i can gather the first panel is basically your run-of-the-mill angsty monologue about how crummy the city is) but the literal second lupin's mentioned the entire genre of his life changes.
friendlier art style. genuinely smiling. the japanese roughly translates to "playtime's over". all of that intense shit they just showed him doing?? that's nothing. easy. just another day. but then BAM. LUIPIN. AND HIS LIFE STARTS FROM HERE. HIS LIFE STARTS FROM HERE.
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there's no way the more introspective variations of his character don't think about, or at the very least consider it. he doesn't wholly understand everything about himself, but he knows what he is at his core and he knows what feels right and wrong.
the split between then and now probably throws him off. there's totally embarrassment for how he behaves with lupin versus dealing with the aftermath of lupin. imo the distinction between that transition period and now would probably be that he doesn't deny when he gets out of line anymore. takes it more in stride than being all denial-crazed/cagey about it, doesn't try to write it off as entirely lupin's fault. "there's always some softcore justice in there but that was mostly me doing what i wanted to do" he says to some effect in front of the burning dozen-car freeway pileup
but yeah. now this might just be how i interpret "self" in a general sense, but his true self is whatever he is at the present moment y'know? but there's no shot in hell that'd ever cross his mind lmao. nothing's ever so simple and it's alllllll lupin's fault
Sometimes I think about how Zenigata gave up his entire life for Lupin and I feel so full of every nameless emotion. Like… that is such pure love to me.
Imagine living a life where you’re respected by your peers and good at your job and every day when you go to the store the man at the counter knows you not because you’re on tv but because you’re a stand-up guy and a pillar in your local community, and then one day you realise you could have everything and nothing every day forever INSTEAD of a guaranteed regular adequacy all the time and you go, “that works,” because it means that you get to lay eyes on someone you hate to your core and love to your core and feeling everything is better to you than feeling just a little.
I wonder if Zeni lost himself a little in that transition, and how much he ‘found’ once it evened out. I wonder if he’s closer to two selves than one, now. The person he was before Lupin is so disconnected from who he is with Lupin to me. I’m not sure I could pinpoint which one is his ‘true’ self tbh. Also like.
Do you think in the same way Zenigata lost himself— his old self— when he found Lupin, Lupin found himself when he found Zenigata? Because I figure that kind of thing must click into place when, as someone who has spent their entire life feeling like a clone of those before you, suddenly you have a driving force that is all your own. You have a person who never went after your father or your grandfather, you have someone who hears your name and thinks of you and not them and it’s like. Wow I finally have the agency I’ve been craving.
Is that love? I think this is love. Maybe this is what they mean when they talk about how a relationship requires give and take. Sigh.
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im-not-a-simp-i-swear · 3 years ago
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A post where all the boys react to female MC being scared of Michael? She meets him for the first time, but instead of greeting him, runs behind the nearest person's back, trembling with fear. I know Luke would be shocked that MC is afriad of his idol?
(Bonus: Michael is also confused and tries to assure her that he means no harm, but fails)
B e n o t a f r a i d
SCARED OF MICHEAL
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💙LUCIFER
Oh the grin, oh the evil smile, he is having the time of his life right now
Not that he enjoys seeing you scared, but Micheal's face is pure gold right now! I mean, the so beloved angel being nightmare fuel to his favorite human? HE LOVES THIS!!
"MC come over here dear, i wont let anything scary to you get near you" *evily stares at micheal*
💛MAMMON
Bursted into laughter at Micheal's reaction when the angel saw you cower behind the demon bros
Is loving this moment so much that he doesnt even react all flustered when you grab his arm all unnerved by the angel
"Chill MC im sure the scary looking angel wont hurt you, and if he does then the great Mammon will be here to stop him" he'll say with that mischevious smile of his.
🧡LEVIATHAN
Laughs along with his brothers by micheal's face
He quickly stops laughing when he sees you hide behind him however and actually panics a bit
That doesnt stop him from still finding the moment funny and smiling deviloushly at the angel
"MC?! Why are you hiding behind me??" "Its fine really, i'll still keep you safe, you just caught me offguard for a second there heh..."
💚SATAN
Is a bit confused to be honest. Sure he has some of lucifer's memories and the context as to why his bros are finding this moment so hilarious but since he was never actually there when it all happened he doesnt really know how to react
Feel more than free than to hide behind him though! Im sure that Micheal knows, unlike Satan, the avatar of wrath and doesnt really wanna piss him off
"Its ok MC you'll be safe with me.... good now that we're a bit further than the rest perhaps we can figure out the funny???"
💖ASMODEUS
Giggles perfect style but you can totally see his need to explode in laughter like the older bros
Will loudly announce that you are safe with him and his brothers when you cower behind him, all with the purpose to piss off the angel
"Aww MC dont worry about the mysterious angel! I'll make sure you feel safe, not like micheal.."
❤BEELZEBUB
Smiles at the scenery but doesnt laugh, instead he is more concerned over why you find Micheal spooky, however that doesnt mean he wont hold onto you while you look for comfort
Offers to go grab a snack with you and will walk away while keeping you close
" MC are you ok? Ive never seen you this nervous before, how about we go grab something? Im hungry"
💜BELPHEGOR
Doesnt laugh loudly like the rest but he does smile evily and lets out his fair share of giggles
Is more than glad to have you next to him sp you can recieve his comfort. He'll make sure to stand where Micheal can see you two so the angel can get more annoyed at the fact that a human trusts a demon more than an angel
🤎DIAVOLO
Laughs due to the face that micheal has, not because of the same reason of the rest.
When you hide behind him however he asks if youre alright and assures you its no biggy and that its just Micheal and that no harm should come to you from said angel
"MC? Aww there is no worry to be afraid, its just Micheal! He wont hurt you" "yet" "luci.."
💚BARBATOS
Saw it coming from a mile away but still had to laugh at Micheal's expression
Wont say much but instead comfort you with his hand on yours, assuring you as well that the archangel doesnt bite
"Oh MC there should be no reason to hide behind me dear, Micheal doesnt bite" "yeah i dont bite-" "shush cant you see youre scaring the human at least give them a breather" "HA-"
💙SIMEON
He just stands there. Thats it, his brain has fried up.
One side wants to find this funny thanks to his expression, the other doesnt wanna lose its wings. You hiding behind the only other angels here doesnt really help his thoughts, but that doesnt mean he wont comfort you, he is still and angel
" its fine luke im sure its just a first time thing with MC, after all Micheal is a very strong angel, but MC doesnt need to worry about anything."
🤍LUKE
Shocked, bamboozled, why??? Why his idle??? MC-
Just stares confused while you hide behind him and Simeon, pooŕ kid doesnt even know what to do or say, his brain is processing this very akward situation, none of you three will be in trouble right? Im mean none of them have talked wrongly about Micheal so..??
"MC its just Micheal, he is not scary, why do you hide behind Simeon?? After everything i've said to you about Micheal that's good you dont like him?? I dont understand..."
🖤SOLOMON
Aah yes, he too remembers the first time he met Micheal, he hated every moment of it he was terrified
Will hold you close and assure you that you'll get used to Micheal's intimidating looks, yes he'll say this right next to Micheal and wont make the moment any better but instead will make it worse and funnier for the demon bros
Micheal will literally just stare like that one spongebob meme of the fish guy starring angrily
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peanut-butter-parkerxx · 3 years ago
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plane pillow
where peter planned to play video games with ned through the whole flight but fate decided to take another turn....
*A/N: this isnt related to far from home nor the ending of endgame, just pretend infinity and all the movies after didnt exist since i imagine pete 16 in here. i dont know why 16 i just like that age on him lmao, enjoy reading!*
pairing: peter x reader
status: strangerz (well sort of since they haven't talked to eachother but they're in the same school)
NOT PROOF READ BTW SO SORRY IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES
peter's POV
"the flight will be amazing! i heard they'd installed the new game we were talking about" i gushed to ned, excited for the whole flight to be filled with video games.
"im excited" ned stated practically jumping from excitement and i shook my head laughing
"OK CLASS!" Mr Harrington clapped his hands getting our attention "we're boarding the plane in a few minutes so pack your stuff and lets goooo" he pointed at our gate dramatically.
we walked to the gate, scanned our ticket and sat on our assigned seats, ned and i sat on the three seater, he took the window seat by winning a 3 round match of rock, paper, scissors *sighs angrily* and i obvious got the middle, kinda scared of who'll sit beside me though.
we had to wait for a few minutes, since we boarded the flight early. ned and i obviously started playing video games, too entranced by the small glowing screen infront of me i haven't realized a girl.
she hadn't really acknowledged me either because she looked tired, i cursed at the screen for losing the game too quickly and my dumb ass still didnt realize a GIRL, MY AGE, looking PRETTY FUCKING ADORABLE was sitting next to me. oh dear god.
after a couple more games and me being the most idiotic teenager known today for not looking at my right to see her  the flight attendant alerted us that the plane will take off so we the screen will freeze any moment. ned and i decided to sleep, it was very early in the morning and we need to rest if we plan on gaming most of the flight.
i closed my eyes and shifted a bit in my seat, and slept. the plain was moving at the time trying to find the best place to take off. i guess i was really tired that i havent felt someone sleeping on my shoulder.
i was peacefully sleeping still agitated from the uncomfortable seat but i heard a loud noise that frightened the life out of me and due to my spidey senses i sensed a hand on my right, so what did i do? i fucking held the hand. hard, may i add, from the fright.
i opened my eyes quickly and jumped a bit, turning around to see who's the stranger that i held hands with, startled as well. i sighed in relief knowing our plane was safe and it was just about to take off. but then i took a good look on the perso- her, took a good look on her, on her? OH MY GOD ITS A GIRL calm down peter and please dont scare her off. i couldnt stop looking at her and to my luck she was looking at me as well, but none of us spoke
i couldnt help but notice the small part of her y/h/c hair that was shown from her hood looked so shiny and smooth, her eyes were the most perfect shade of y/e/c. the extremely large hoodie looked so comfortable on her which made me think of her wearing one of mine, how big and long it'll look on her body sent butterflies to my stomach. she looked small, and precious so fragile yet she held her body confidently.
the voice of the flight attendant echoed through the speakers which made us both stop our trance of one another. even though the lady's voice wasnt scary it still frightened us. i mean no hate towards miss attendant she called me a cutie and gave me extra blankets
but coz we got startled again we held hands....again looking for the sources of the noise. we visibly relaxed once we realized what it was, looked at eachother and laughed, her laugh was angelic and soft, hands down the best sound ive ever head. she looked rather embarrassed from the encounter but i bet you a thousand dollars i look worse, i could practically feel the blood rush through my cheeks once she realized how long ive stared at her
"i- uhm i-im so sorry for sleeping on your shoulder, and- and holding your hand and stuff" she apologized, it only made me even more baffled by her. how could a voice match with a face so perfectly.
"no no its fine uhh i dont mind *nervous laugh* and for the hand thing i was the one who grabbed yours so i-i should be the one apologizing...im sorry" i rubbed the back of my neck. this is why i dont talk to girls, ever. well mj is an exception since shes like the closest thing i have to a friend other than my best friend obviously.
"i-im y/n, by the way" she lifted her hand properly introducing herself
"peter, peter parker" i shook her hand, it was nice feeling the warmth of her hand again. we probably held hands (for the third time today by the way) longer the we should have but who am i to say i was bothered. i definitely wasnt.
"nice to meet you peter" she smiled shaking our hands one last time then sitting it on her lap. scratch what i said about her gorgeous laugh, hearing her say my name was the best thing ive heard in my 16 year of existence. (her laugh is obviously the second best)
before i could ask anything else, the plane decided to finally take off. i adjusted myself to the seat, not turning to my right side anymore and closed my eyes trying to think of smiling puppies. ive been on a plane before, in fact a private one last year but that was it. this is my second time flying away from new york and i was a bit nervous.
y/n somehow noticed my sudden tense form, who am i kidding i looked like i was about to die coz of my nerves. and held my hand. and i immediately opened my eyes again, the feeling of her skin coming in contact with mine brought chills down my spine, good ones obviously
"you looked rather tense, is this ok?" she leaned into my ear so i could hear her. i looked at her confused on why she would want to help me but nodded as a reply. a smile crept on my face and i couldnt seem to take it off.  the take off went smoothly thank god. and ive occasionally squeezed her hand, usually when the plane made very loud sounds. but i made it! woohoo
i didnt know if i should stop holding her hand or not, even though i didnt want to. will she think im a creep? and if i did, will she think im rude? but i guess it didnt seem to bother her if she went back to sleeping. so i figured i should do the same
i shifted in my seat a couple of times trying to get the perfect comfy spot....nothing. this seat will be the death of m-
"you can sleep on my shoulder if you want" she whispered. "i figured since you let me sleep on yours which im very sorry about, you could sleep on mine" she smiled
"thanks, but i dont wanna bother you or make you uncomfortable"
"oh nonsense! my body is screaming right now cheering for me, well partially scolding at me for saying something risky like that to a good looking guy, its ok" she laughed, her eyes widened in shock from what she confessed. i smiled at her and rested my head on her shoulder
"you think im good looking?" i whispered playing with our fingers, i dont know when i got the sudden confidence but hearing someone like her think a loser like me is cute did something to me.
"shut up" she playfully shoved me and i laughed.
"are you from midtown?" i asked her
"no im from queens" she joked
"oh you're definitely from midtown" i chuckled, next thing i know i was having a normal conversation with me laying my head on a girl i just met like we knew eachother for years, it was nice to talk to a girl i potentially thought was cute instead of talking gibberish
she was very understanding and looked like interested into what i was saying, i was gonna skip my geeky side when she asked about what i like but to my surprise, she mentioned it when i asked her the same, she said she loves comics and likes watching sci fi movies. i asked her if she watched star wars and she said she didnt...yet.
"wanna uhm watch it together?" i played with her fingers absentmindedly nervous if she'd reject me.
"yeah sure" her eyes lit up like she was waiting for me to ask her that. we watched the movie in bliss, thankfully she liked it! and immediately said to put the second one. and surprise surprise, we finished it.
when the credits rolled in, i saw her yawning, shifting in her seat again, i decided to be bold so i lifted her head off my shoulder pulled the arm rest away from us, took a pillow and patted my lap. immediately after doing it i regretted it, she barely knows me, what the fuck peter.
"you sure?" she asked smiling a bit, she looked like she felt something giddy inside which made me feel at peace again and i nodded.
"good night" she whispered snuggling her head on my lap, i hesitantly put my arm over
"good night, y/n" and we fell asleep like how ned slept the whooole time i was talking to her, wow we have a lot to catch up on
bonus:
peters pov
i didnt know the whole plane (our class) practically gushed over my interaction with y/n, i know its been a while since i liked a girl but betty and the rest (including Mr Harrington) practically begged mj to take photos of us since she was the closest, not that she wouldnt have done it without them asking her....
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*A/N: idk what this bonus was lmao but i had to add the school feeling happy for our boy pete*
have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night!
-quacksonlover
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fart-gate · 4 years ago
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SGA
Season 5 episode 20💔
Notes by me
- I'm already in so much pain I dont want this to end
- hello my beautiful snowflake city😭 this is the last time I will see you
- oh hi todd what do you want
- the treatment worked! Hes ok now
- Woolsey said excuse my French but why should we give a fuck
- why does he need a zpm
- team meeting :( ITS THE LAST ONE IM WAILING
- the last theme sequence
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- haha todd let slip that he appreciates the city. Now we know youre a sentimental bitch like the rest of us
- SPECIAL GUEST STAR AMANDA TAPPING HERE WE FUCKING GOOOO
- and carson is in this!!!
- todd is on our side I guess hhmmm
- death threats arent helping anything john
- ronons biceps are here for my mental pleasure and mine ONLY
- last jumper adventure
- you guys are NOT hidden
- "we're hit!" Oh shit oh fuck
- fuck am I gonna lose the deadalus. Im not having a good time
- oh thank god theyre all ok
- oh ew its Cavanaugh
- the signal!!! From the other reality!! Shout out to Rod and all those guys
- btw this outfit for Rodney ✨
- confident!rodney
- beamed!
- one last scene from the Apollo colonel
- are we gonna fly the city!?!?!
- "you know how to talk to me john sheppard" HELLO?????
- lorne! Oh thank god I thought I was gonna go thru the whole epsiode without you
- "general Oniell wants you in the chair" AKSDNEOSBDJEBDJSND MY HEART
- we're going to earth babey!!!
- Cheyenne Mountain Complex im hyperventilating
- SAM!!! THE SGC💓💓💓💓
- carson is gonna fly the city! I believe in my boy
- there she goes❄good job babe
- Sam is gonna be in charge of her own ship😤 its what she deserves
- oh no :( rest in peace Hammond. I salute you sir
- MAJOR DAVIS 💗💗💗💗
- john and sam = the dream team
- meanwhile ronon and teyla...
- I'm sorry I just noticed Woolsey has a framed photo of his yorkie in his office
- "you mean like everyone on this base has been doing for the past 5 years?" Yeah exactly
- Woolsey a good leader I admit it. I surrender
- pilot!John
- this is so intense
- rip area 51
- there goes the chair
- I forbid you to go on any more suicide missions john
- what did I just say
- what an ugly hive ship
- gates broke
- theres a gate on the hive ship lol now I know how john can escape
- why would u bimbos go on the hive ship omg no
- johns just...chilling in space
- PROTECTIVE RONON OVER RODNEY
-
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- they stabbed his lung! Oh god
- did he just die
- hello? 911? Yeah I think my show just killed off their token beefcake
- scared!Rodney
- hi I dont want this
- Rodney telling john the plan but leaving out the part where RONON IS DEAD HELLOOOO
- Woolsey if you die with atlantis I will sob for eternity
- "teyla......wheres ronon"
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- OH THANK GOD HES OKAY ITS ALRIGHT EVERYONE CALM DOWN HES FINE
- they really had me in the first half not gonna lie. I really thought they killed him
- in a wraiths debt is probably not good tho
- ronons mouth is SEALED BITCHES. MY BOY AINT NO SNITCH
- aahhh saved by john 💗
- "how you doing, chewie?" Fuck my life
- was that the last "chewie" I'm sobbing
- ah they were all ready to die together 😟
- my snowflake city to the rescue!!!!
- UGLY HIVE SHIP IS DEFEATED
- oh crap they falling real hard here
- AHHH THEYRE OK my boy carson is a good pilot 💖💕💖💕
- atlantis is now in america my friends ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
- "this is my home"
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- oh shit ronon and kick boxing lady have some flirty vibes going on👀
- "ive got you" aaahhhh Rodney and keller!
- all my kids together and happy 😭
- IM NOT READY I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH. THIS HAS BEEN MY GO TO SHOW FOR MONTHS NOW. WHAT DO I DO WITH OUT IT. HOW WILL I LIVE. WHO WILL I LOVE. WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME.
- "nice view"
"Yes. Yes it is."
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roxyzwritez · 5 months ago
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alright lets do this *inhale*
THE BIG DAY
so steven gets up and eats breakfast. they go over to homeworld. steven just goes HEY ROSE IS READY PULL MY GEM OUT🥰 white is like 😦 steven's like no man trust me. white reluctantly does so, rose reforns, gem jabbed into stevo. white says welcome back. rose says hey. she jumps down and hugs steven in an adorable son mother moment. she then realizes "oh right there's everyone else too haha oops" and viciously assaults pearl with a good ol glomp, pearl goes crowdstrike and bluescreens because, yk, the love of her life who has been GONE for 15 years just lightformed back to reality in the middle of The Authority's hand and jumped down and glomped her. i love those two theyre so gay.
garnet is somehow composed. amy is like "bro i wish i wasnt so short" (literally like a third her height) rose goes YOU ARE FINE. SHORTIES SLAY. and essentially hugs the floor to hug her.
after that immediate reunion, she gets a little teary and says sorry for Trying to Childbirth Sewerslide Herself. garnet is like "you thought it was right. you're allowed to make mistakes, stupid."
rose is like "yeah but im mad at myself cuz im stupid and no spine"
steven is like "FYM NO SPINE??? do you forgotted the MASSIVE RELEASE OF ANGER at The Authorities last year?? ppl make mistakes and you're a people too."
big grouphug ensues. white is like "the pals should see this." rose is like "yeah why not"
theyre like WHAT DO U WA- oh my FUCK its the wayward daughter carrying on.
rose is like WHAT'S GOOD, ABUSIVE PARENTS??
i forgot to mention rose said when she was still in the speaker she said she wanted to be called rose. she literally does not want to be pink diamond
anyway then blue accidentally deadnames her. rose is like "yk worse things have happened i don't really give a fuck"
then rose talks about how she took the hard route but hey its all good.. 6thousandyears later than necessary but yk it kinda happens when you have bad parents n shit
pearl, suddenly realizing oh. it really is over. im free. the rebellion journey is over. i dont have to worry about pseudo godlike entities coming down in hand machimes and destroying the planet with a supermassive uncontrollable frankenstein cluster literally just chilling in the MIDDLE OF THE PLANET. and my wife is back!! she just happy sob melts into the floor. rose comes over and hugs her. they have a happy moment and they accidentally rainbowquartz. the diamonds are like "rose. respectfully, what did i just witness. respectfully of course." rose speaking goes "its cool we did this before. multiple times." rainbowquartz goes "don't you get they are hard lesbian for eachother?" diamonds r like "we have been against cross gem fusion for thousands of years and only recently have we started to Change Our Minds you can't just throw this on us. cultureshock."
rose goes listen it was an accident ok we didn't mean to. (oh god that's such a garnet i didnt even think about that when writing it) we're slay and fusion is too so taste the rainbow,bitches.
white wanting to be understanding asks what its like. skittlerock goes "ask garnet. she's the expert here." garnet is like why thank you and explains fusion like garnet would explain fusion. also at the end she drops the line "i am their fury, i am their patience. i am a conversation." and steven is like "I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE!"
the diamonds are like damn... that's what we were hating on?
LGBTQuartz unfuses and rose is like fam... we gotta go back to earth it was nice hanging out and seeing how you arent toxic anymore, ill be back. the diamonds r like "aight go be happy at home we love you child" but white is like "oh also we healed a shit ton of gems, just thought we'd let you know!!!" rose is like IM SO FUCKING COOL (she's actually very happy and is like yay i knew you weren't terrible deep down in there somewhere)
they go back to warp but realize pearl is still just swooning on the floor and steven is like bruh,, are you coming with us?? she's like YEAH idk what ur talking about of course i am its not like i was swooning on the floor over my newly returned wifeyboo.,,
they warp back and rose is like oh i should probably let greg know that im alive again lol. pearl is like go get em queen. rose is like "are you okay???" shes like im fine. i know you love my silly face. go get em queen god damnit. she goes over n knocks on the van and goes "hi lol im back" greg goes holy shit i couldn't tell its almost like i see you with my eyes. shes like do u wanna give me a tour of beach city with the gems and hes like i gotta lay down and straighten out my rattled brain but i appreciate the offer(spoiler: he is realizing he doesn't have feelings for rose anymore and freaks out like oh shit man oh shit man oh sh-)
she's like okay pookie cya mwah (jumnp)
says to steven hey i wanna try a donut and actually meet sadie instead of spectator mode meeting. he says alright bet (oh god mother don't order every single donut sadie will execute me) she takes a strawberry glazed donut and is satisfied with the new unique sensation of Eating a Donut. also sadie is like damn. this revival novelty shit is getting boring real fast. (very just not surprised by any of this. why would you be if you knew steven. you're not surprisable. oh you revived your mother who was spectating your entire existence? ok, aberage tuesday.)
and now the minisode. its literally just self and fan service with pearlrose, the coupling that always deserved to be but god damnit i had to revive her to do that. her and greg talk, very casual breakup honestly, greg is surprised she doesn't get that upset and she's like "im surprised you're worried about that like don't you know i have pearl? im fine man" hes like "yeah you're right i forgot you don't understand human dynamics that's fair" she then goes home and asks steven where pearl is. steven goes OOOOOOOO and she goes stfu hoe, tell me where my wife is. hes like she's been hiding in her room probably looking at you through holograms or something. she goes in and pearl is just on the floor. smiling. just laying there. rose is like "...you good?" pearl is like HI I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE SORRY I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU OBSESSIVELY 😁
they flirt a bit n shit and rose tells pearl abt greg (out of order but im not backspacing, reverse order) and unknown to the lesbians steven was watching and going AWWWW THEYRE ADORAVLE. he says "that wss the cutedt thing ive ever seen" and pearl is like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE" rose is like "honey. pookie. calm. people are allowed to know. steven please leave thank you son."
hes like fine ugh so gay and leaves. the two talk and rose is like you dont even know how badly i died inside when you sang that song. if i had eyes to cry out of i would've made a new ocean. im so glad i can finally smash. (didnt go like that but youget the gist) pearl is like sorry for crying uncontrollably for the 40th time i cant help it i love you too much and rose is like stfu you adorable thing and cry into my chest or something. they hug and minisode1 ends.
if this is a "rough plan" then im horrified to think of what a detailed plan would be. shivers
au writing shit idk
heres the Rough Plan for my first few eps:
ep1: the au branches off of canon in the final SU ep, Change Your Mind. renamed to Change Your World. when white yoinks the gem out of steven and pinksteven reforms and whiteasks W H E R E I S P I N K the response is something along the lines of "i am right here, but fuck you im not talking to you." (girlboss) and white gets the "im a child, what's your problem" and has the perfectionist meltdown, then steven's like "sorry but we gotta head out" and they're like "PINK WHAT THE FUCK?" steven goes "im not pink just leave earth alone" the gems agree and give steven The Legs™️.
pearl latches onto the idea that rose is still alive in there. (didn't write that tho just had it cut to this next bit oops) her and greg build a thing to connect to the gem that will essentially connect to pink/rose im just gonna call her rose damnit and allow her to communicate w everyone. shes like "...hey guys. uh. sorry for trying to kill myself i guess that didn't work but i have been minecraft spectating steven for the entirety of his existence with no ability to do anything but think and watch" pearl has a lesbian implosion, everyone's all happy n shit. steven eventually asks about the lying and she's like "yeag i done bad there. i just wanted to keep you guys together" (now that i think abt it there was no mention of bismuth here.. oops,) garnet gives her a Garnet Specil motivational speech and she's like "i missed you too garnet" (i forgot to mention, garnet violently explode-unfuses and ruby+sapphire are just bumbling with happy when rose spoke) amethyst has her own moment (she thought this was all bullshit and started playing fortnite upstairs but between games she heard rose and a p p e a r e d)
anyway rose then is thinking "oh man i gotta talk to so many ppl" and realizes eh guys nothing to worry abt just a HAPPY TO LISTEN, HAPPY TO STAY, HAPPILY WATCHING HER DR- but we should go there NOW" so they do, spinel is understandably distraught and breaks the gemspeaker in half but feels bad about it. she comes with the gang to earth, they show her around, a new gemspeaker is made and they reconcile. yippy! also spinel ate one of ALL. big donut flavors. sadie allowed this just for on e because steven is the LORD AND SAVIOR OF THE STEVEN UNIVERSE haha funny.
anyway she and bismuth talk. bis is kinda like "yeah i wasnt very gamer sorry about that herhee" again ignoring that SHE lied about the bubbling, conveniently forgot to explore that conversation for ease of writing and so i didn't need to go "how do i utilize my 2 iq points to channel these characters and get them to have a coherent, consistent to character conversation about this situation"
peri and lapis are called over by bismuth who doesn't say shit to them for the surprise. lapis is like "yeah ok hit me" peri is more curious. rose speaks, peridot fangirls and lapis is like "oh shit that's historically significant " peri is like "I NEED TO RESEARCH:)))" and runs off. spoiler: gem cloning
bis brings up the idea. rose is like "yeah that sounds legit" (the gem cloning conundrum took me way too long to understand. i drove my friend crazy. "hey can u explain every single quantum detail of this in the most verbose way i dont understand" but eventually i understood it JUUUUST enough to write it lmao i still don't get it)
rose n steven talk in roses room. all happy n shit. greg is told abt the plan and hes like oh shit i gotta clean up and steven is like "you know her standards. she don't give a shit" hes like "yeag"
peri makes progress! she made a little clump!! (explaining the gem cloning: theyre making essentially an empty gem with the powers but no consciousness inside. when its ready, white will take steven's gem out again, rose reforms, and the new gem gets ever so graciously stabbed into his belly where the old one was.)
peri tells steven its gonna take a year. he's like "well okay better than like hundreds of years" then he goes off to talk to the diamonds. he brings the speaker with. rose lets out the thousands of years of distrust and anger at the dismonds and they are humbled even more than when they got pinkd and rose is like "you WILL heal all the shattered ones i don't give a shit" and theyre like "whatever you say little one" (yes they do indeed heal the fallen. probably with regular shipments of steven fluid. that sounded wrong but im not a freak like that hes still 14)
also they go back home and steven talks to rose abt "you told the diamonds you literally wanted to die are you fr?" she explains and hes like YOU FATHERFUCKER, YOU ARE AMAZING AND YOU CAN'T DO THAT (crying)"
next episode is just year-long filler but i made it actually good by making it essentially a montage of lapis and peri in the barn becoming lesbian for eachother. finally, a controversial move on my part, they decide to overcome lapis's fear of fusion and fuse for stevens birthday. their fusion is turquoise (took way too long coming up with a fucking name) and can corrode (water + metal) and can morph/control metal (liquify n stuff. definitely not taken from a lapidot fusion concept i found on google images.) garnet is like "hey pearl look at these silly lesbians " pearls like "damn relatable" garnets like "yeag"
a week or a few after the bday, the gem is finally ready. everyone is excited until steven asks how this is gonna work. peri is like UHHHHH... 😊 and lapis is just "eh just take that one out, stick this one in!" peri goes NNNO- but after some damage control and telling everyone steven will be fine hes like "well i better get some good sleep then. big day!"
there's more but im done typing my fingers are about to go peridot and fuckin fly away let me know if you want the like 1other episode and the minisode after that
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leelee10898 · 6 years ago
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You're the one that I want
I got this Halloween prompt from @riseandshinelittleblossom, requesting Leo&Aria as Danny and Sandy from Grease. Fluffy and smutty she wants.. well Love I hope I delivered. This is a part of @speedyoperarascalparty Beaumont bash Halloween event.
"Love are you sure about this?" Leo stood in the middle of their livingroom in New York, unsure of this years costume theme. "Leo, its fine you look great. They aren't to tight, And besides, your ass looks incredible in them." She slapped his ass through the leather pants. He jumped "You didn't complain when i made you dress as the Playboy bunny last year, I think you enjoyed it a little to much." She chuckled. She finished strapping her heels and stood to face Leo.
"So... what do you think?"
"I got chills, they're multiplying." He sang. She dropped her head and shook it, laughing at his silliness. He ran over to her grabbing at her ass her "and im loooosing control." He sang again.
"Leo, stop it." She tried to fend him off. "No Love, who's this Leo dude? I'm Danny, Danny zuko." He teased in his horrible 50s greaser accent.
"Get your hand out of my shirt Danny! It took me forever to squeeze my ass into these leather pants. I am not taking them off." She swatted his hand. "Now come on, we're going to be late to Daniels wedding."
They had decided to spend Halloween in New York after Daniel invited them to their Halloween themed wedding. The twins were with Aria's Parents for the weekend and they were both looking forward to some much needed alone time.
They decided to get a town car since they both planned on drinking. And since Ellie and Maxwell were going to be there, Aria knew things would get wild.
They pulled up to the venue, Leo's eyes grew wide. "Aria, look." He pointed "oh. My. God." Aria giggled "what the fuck is Maxwell wearing?"
They exited the car, Leo shaking his head. "Thank god you are here. I can't walk in there with him alone." Ellie freaked. "Little blossom, tell her its a great costume." Maxwell huffed in defense. "Its, definitely something." Aria stiffened back a laugh. "Are you a fucking vagina Maxwell?" Leo chuckled. "Oh my god what? No, Leo! I am a hot dog in a bun." Maxwell shrieked waving his hands up and down his body.
"Yeah, looks like a pussy dude. Did you make this yourself?" Leo shook his head gain, chucking. "Yes." Maxwell sheepishly hung his head.
After they shared a good laugh they went inside. The ceremony was fabulous, Daniel and his husband dressed as Lucy and Ricky Ricardo. Each table had its own Halloween theme. Maxwell was drunk by the first dance, ellie shortly after. He embraced the fact his costume was now a Vagina and they most popular there. Ellie and Maxwell headed to the dance floor.
Aria and Leo paced theirselves, that is until Daniel and Gary found them at the bar and decided to get them to do a shot with them. One shot turned into 4, and Leo became very handsy. After the 5th man to hit on him, Aria began teasing him relentlessly.
"Let's go into the photobooth and take some pictures." Aria giggled, she was drunk at this point, she ditched the blonde wig, by then letting her hair out. The climbed into the closed off area, throwing random wigs and over sized glasses on. Leos hand crept between her legs. "Leo, stop it." She grabbed his hand trying to pull it away, but he held firm. I have had to watch that ass bounce around in these tight ass leather pants all night, my dick is practically tearing the seams of these horrible fucking pants.
"Dont you do it." She warned as he un did a button and zipper. "Leo, I swear to god. Look lets take the picture, he started pulling his pants down. "Leo, we are at a wedding." His pants now around his ankles. He kicked them off to the side.
"Ok we are taking these pictures, Now." She stood up to press the button, but he caught her waist. Fumbling with the waist he yanked hard and riiiip. Her mouth flew open. "You, you fucking ripped my fake ass leather pants." She giggled pulling them off. They both stood in their underwear, laughing hysterically. Leo wearing a pinwheel hat and over sizes glasses. Aria in a hot pink wig, with a rainbow tie.
His fingers found her center as he slipped between her panties toying with her folds. He slipped two digits into her wet heat. Pumping them in and out. "Oh fuck Leo, jesus." She stumbled back, not realizing her ass hit the picture button.
She pushed him back onto the chair, pulling his length free, she shimmied out of her panties and sat reverse cowgirl on his lap, Lowering herself onto his length. His hands groped her breast, pulling them from her tube top. She bounced up and down, meeting his thrust. His hands found her hips guiding, her harder onto his thick, long length. "Fuck, fuck, Aria Im gonna cum. Oh my god baby, ride my cock." Her moans joining his, as they simultaneously found their release.
"Now get dressed, before someone comes in here." Aria kissed him. Leo couldn't get his pants back on. Arias were ripped. "Shit, are we gonna go out there with no pants?" She asked. Leo found a grass skirt and tossed it at her. She threw it on. "What about you?" She eyed him. "Eh, im risky business now." He chucked.
Just then they heard the whirling of the printed as it popped a strip of paper out. "Well, I say these are out best photos yet." He snorted. "Yeah, my boobs look great." She laughed as they re joined the party.
A few weeks later she got a call from Daniel.
Daniel: "Hey Aria, I just wanted to see if you had fun at the wedding?"
Aria: Of course, we had a blast.
Daniel: Did you use the photobooth?
She thoughts back to that night, Leo and her having sex in there.
Aria: oh, he yeah. Great times.
Daniel: great, so I just wanted to say both you and Leo have great bodies. I always knew your boobs were real.
Daniel: we just got our photo book from the photo both.
Aria: oh, you um got copies of the pictures?
Daniel: yeah, they save copies of them all and print them out. We liked yours and Leos the best. Well hun gotta run. Talk to you soon.
"Who was that?" Leo asked. "Daniel, turns out they got copies of the photo booth pictures." She gulped.
"Oh fantastic, I bet they are fun." He chuckled.
"Yeah, remember ours?"
The realization of the fact daniel and Gary now had photos of them having sex setting in. "Gotta love Halloween. " he chuckled, kissing her lips.
Tagging: @bobasheebaby @cocomaxley @speedyoperarascalparty @riseandshinelittleblossom @katurrade @blackwidow2721 @hopefulmoonobject @ao719 @mind-reader1 @zaffrenotes @itsstillnotwhatyouthink
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maiverie · 2 years ago
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hellooo mai !! here is my update hehe^^ i'll try to send messages more often but i don't rlly have that much to talk abt but i'll still try !!
i got my manifesto day 1 album but i didnt get sunghoon weverse pob :(( its ok cuz my pulls for the actual album were so good?? anyways i got jay in the uniform pob and hee in the other (they look saurr good) and my pulls were absolutely insane i got my entire bias line??? i got jake for the postcard and jungwon and sunghoon for the pcs ?!?!?! i was so surprised i got so lucky,,,
i tried getting another border carnival album but they didnt have hype ver :(( the guy at the store said everyone always goes for that ver so i got dimension dilemma instead and i'm pretty sure i have a sunoo curse (not complaining though) i was in a rush so i accidentally got the wrong ver but its not a big deal lmao
i got two sunoo pcs and i got niki for the poster ! so as of rn i have at 5 sunoo pcs (damn), 2 hee pcs, and one for everyone except jake (jake pls come home) but if i count the other things in albums then i've got members !
and my barista course was fun !! it was rlly stressful at the beginning cuz they kept feeding us lots of information in the beginning but the second part of the class was more chill and we did a bunch of stuff like fudge and latte art,,, i tasted one of my coffees and it surprisingly tasted good ? i genuinely thought it was gonna taste like absolute shit lmaoo the instructors complimented my first latte and my milk frothing so ig i found a hidden talent hehe
as of rn im listening to jungwon's live, i rlly hope the members rest well and get well soon !! they were so excited to promote paradoxxx invasion esp jay but they got covid so :((( but jungwon is genuinely one of the sweetest ppl on earth bc he kept reassuring engenes that they're all fine and he's even on live for us ( genuinely sobbing i love him so much)
also apparently we're getting actor hoon soon !! he'll be a cameo in the drama mimicus (?) which they sung an unreleased ost for !! 02z's names were mentioned but hoon's the only one confirmed as a cameo,,, saur excited to see actor hoon !!
since we both live in aus, im guessing its evening where you are? so i hope you had a very very great day today and you rest and sleep well !! i slept for 12 hours tday cuz i was so tired,, anyways hope you are well !! lots of love and take care <33
-- sunrise anon
OMGGG HI SUNRISE ANON MY FAVE <3333 nooo omg pls don't feel obligated or anything, though im always here to chat if u need!! <3
AAA CONGRATS ON PULLING UR BIAS LINE!!! that's so good al;kjfiwe i really wanted more jungwon pcs so congrats on getting him :(( YES TOTALLY AGREE the pob pcs are literally sosososo nice they look so good in their lil uniforms :< im obsessed w the pcs this cb fr T^T
ALSO AAA WOW REALLY??? i don't actually have any of the border carnival albums so thank u for the heads up </3 also omg SAME i swear i'm always pulling sunoo HHASHDJS ALTHOUGH ITS OKAY SINCE ALL HIS PCS ARE >>>
:00 NIKI POSTER??? THATS SO GOOD AA also omg im gna come over and rob u for those hee pcs hHSDJSDJ WATCH OUT SLEEP TIGHT
ALSO OMGGGG UR BARISTA COURSE AAA im sosoos happy to hear that u had fun!! omg new hidden skill unlocked?? plss not them complimenting u on ur coffee :< that's so cute i wanna try a course one day now :(( i'm a really big fan of coffee so laksjdf sounds like you had sm fun!!
JUNGWON WAS LIVE FOR 4 HOURS??? PLSS i love that boy so so much :(( i swear he has sm love for all his fans and even tho he must have been super bored w quarantine and all,,, i actually feel so touched that he was live for so long T^T he treats us so well im sobbing i love him sm. also!! who's ur bias btw??
YESS ACTOR HOON I HEARD!!! IM SAUR EXCITEDDDD like that's so cool,,, i honestly dont know what to expect but im really excited nevertheless hehe. aLSO O2Z?? STOP???? JAY IN A DRAMA?? JAKE??? IM SCREAMINGWE
omg 12 hours deserved!! i've been having pretty decent days, just super busy lately!! hope you've been safe n well <33 it's been raining a bit where i am so 😭
lots of love <33333
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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago
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Bea & Lola & Ronnie & Charlie
1st attempt at group chat style
Bea: Celebrations are in order! Who's in and where do we start? Lola: Hell yeah count me in! 🎉 pre-game at ours if we're stocked? 🍸💊 Ronnie: Finally ditched the freckled dead weight, yeah? I'll drink to that Charlie: Lmao Charlie: We were good last time I checked but if not sounds like princess is in the treating mood, yeah? 😉 Good news all 'round Bea: Since when do you need a reason? 🤔 but I got a first, if you must know Bea: I'll be round in a bit then, save me some, Lola talking specifically to you now, know a losing battle when I see one Ronnie: since we ain't all getting bankrolled by the student loan. fitzy that's where you're wrong bitch we out Lola: Yes girl! 🤗 I got you and will be keeping suitable 💊 from the mouths of these babes �� Congrats on being a brainbox confirmed too btw Lola: if someone ☝ stayed outta my stuff we're good 🤞 Ronnie: fuck you. sharing's caring Bea: says THE most selfish one in this chat ok Bea: and thanks Lo 😘 Ronnie: get off my tits princess Charlie: even the club drugs??? why you been doing them alone in the middle of the day you nutter 😂 ah well Lola: They were mine and I took them Thursday 👍 Bea: tits, where??? Charlie: children please! there's always a dealer with a dick to suck, we don't need to eat each other quite yet, chill out or you need some of that too Charlie: Christ Ronnie: on it, no complaints outside of this chat like Charlie: He'll be devvo its not me 😕 Ronnie: if I was scoring from big dom then yeah but like fuck am I going that far for you cunts Lola: he asked me if I wanted a free tat last time I went 😕 looking to branch out or just touch my body with needles? No way to know Bea: God, Lola, do not ⛔ its free hepatitis is what it is, Charlie already dicing with death there 😷 Grotty Ronnie: fuck it they're treatable 'cept for A Ronnie: shit at drawing though so forget that like Bea: 🙄 well then, go ahead and catch 'em all like pokemon, aim for those mid-grades though, over-achieving will get you 💀 Ronnie: reckon its too late for that. he's sound though 'cept this art on my arm looking like a dog's dick Ronnie: all I got from him Lola: have you even shown me that? 👀 viewing party tonight too please Charlie: Didn't think that was your thing Lolly? As long as it's attached to a dog you're into it? 😵 alright our kid 😬 Lola: Shut your gob Charlie! 🖕 Bea: you WANT to be insulted, masochist 💘 if it was decent it wouldn't match the rest, man knows your aesthetic if nothing else Charlie: 😂 soz babe Ronnie: fuck off and get a tramp stamp you sket Bea: good one 👍 bitter you won't get to see Ronnie: nah I'm bitter that he hasn't written that cunt's name on you yet. guarantees a break up like Bea: Whoever could you be talking about? You're so unclear about your feelings, so mysterious Lola: guys this is not a party atmosphere! I wanna wreck my head in a good way Lola: Calm the tits you both have please Charlie: Agreed, now everyone say thank you to Ronnie for going on the drugs run Charlie: THANK YOU RONNIE 💖 Ronnie: what happened to not eating me out fitz? you strike out last night or what? Lola: I'll say it when I get my share not before 😏 Charlie: I'm trying to create a party atmosphere, silly bitch Charlie: What says party better than oral? Ronnie: we haven't had an orgy for ages, miss me that much yeah? Bea: only domestics these days, init? Charlie: not in front of the children, please Lola: 🤒 Lola: thanks for the mental scars Ronnie: any time Bea: Well, you've really brought me down Bea: Get a better night out if I stayed here, saying something 🙄 Ronnie: knock you down if you want Bea: I was asking for a good time, not necessarily in pissing myself at you trying but if that's all you've got, babe Ronnie: this bitch Bea: Yeah, I am. Lola: 😂 you two kill me Charlie: so much unresolved sexual tension Charlie: its getting to us all Charlie: sort it out lads Lola: speak for yourself ✌ Ronnie: she couldn't turn me on if her boyfriend's life depended on it you filthy scrote Ronnie: porn hub's here for you lad, use it Bea: Oh, please. You're never off, out here panting like a dog. Bea: And you can dream on too, Charlie. NEVER going to happen. Ronnie: something to fucking agree on Ronnie: around you I'm dead below the waist cheers for that Ronnie: like im on ket Charlie: You both know it will 🌈😍🎆 and it will be magical Bea: Welcome. Perhaps you could use the moments of clarity to do something with your life. Ronnie: I'm scoring for you right now princess so go fuck yourself Bea: One for the CV, I'm sure. Bea: If you thought I was thanking you, or going down on you...I'd be quicker to get my own. 👑 remember? Get it flown in from Columbia before that Ronnie: get your fucking own then Ronnie: i asked for neither that's fitzys wet dream Bea: Always quick to martyr yourself Bea: No one asked you to go get the gear Bea: and you took it all in the first place so; what's your issue here? Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: you're a cunt that's every day's issue Lola: 🤦 Bea: Are you TRYING to make Charlie cum in his pants? Bea: Take that shit private, I've told you both I'm not interested Bea: What, not room for two in this town? Ronnie: no need to try he's pulling himself off as we speak Bea: Well, always nice when they essentially do the job themselves when you're past your prime, I imagine Charlie: I'm ignoring you both, is what I'm doing Charlie: You're both clearly blobbing so we'll save the idea for another day Charlie: Damn 😏 Lola: 🙄 Lola: Charlie I raised you better than that! Charlie: What?! Did you see how cunty the lone rangers were being Charlie: and I say ONE thing Lola: period bants are so 20 years ago boy Lola: know better Lola: Just cos they don't have any idea how to play nice Lola: that's old too Charlie: Who said its bants? Speculation 'bout the state of their knickers if nothing else Charlie: also, I add, probs in a twist Charlie: ba-dum-tss Ronnie: get your head outta my crotch for 5 seconds lad christ Charlie: 🐶 Ronnie: get your red wings from that bitch, just be prepared to be disappointed like, princess talks a good game but that's it like Bea: Yet here you are, all mouth. Bea: Both of you stop projecting your creepy shit, thanks Lola: everyone stop this shit or I bounce, thanks 👌 Lola: I could have a better party on my own at this point Bea: Agreed Bea: I'm staying here, see you around Lo Charlie: Ughhhhhhhhh Charlie: Guys no Lola: Laters then B xx Charlie: I'll even miss the chance to be 'insensitive' and tell you to kiss and make up, alright? Charlie: We're all bored, obvs, we need a party Charlie: Everyone suck it up, we can split up after pre-drinks, so what does it matter Lola: Fine, one more chance 😌 don't fuck it up Lola: Bea you in? Charlie: Ronaldo? Bea: Yeah, whatever Ronnie: suck a dick charlie I was never out Charlie: Well...with that confusing display of enthusiasm, we're back on! Bea get your fine ass on that train, we'll sort the rest between us Charlie: Everyone happy? Lola: 😁 Ronnie: 🖕 Bea: Nothing and no one's bringing me down 💋
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twipsai · 2 months ago
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^this is me when someone respectfully disagrees with me btw
ANYWAYS! pls dont take this as me arguing in a mean way or anything, i love Sonic a lot!!! and i like talking about it and i think you bring up a lot of interesting points!!!! so im gonna go over it all in maybe a not super cohesive way???
i wanna start by acknowledging what you said at the start, "the wording of the second bolded point echoes IDW Sonic's wording of his principles in IDW #2 that Amy swoons over" and clarifying that i was referencing It Doesn't Matter from sa1 and sa2,,, (the full lyric is "Don't ask me why; I don't need a reason / I got my way, my own way!), and the reason why i alluded to it is because i was trying to make that connection that Sonic still has the same basic principals that he did during the adventure era, but i guess i wasnt clear enough oops ^^; i honestly completely forgot that theres a reference to that lyric in idw #2 but,, uh, happy accident i guess?
ok now onto my actual thoughts
i actually wanna agree with you on that first part, cuz as i think about it its something that makes a lot of sense and i havent really been able to fully wrap my head around it -- Sonic being reactive to whats in front of him is exactly how he is!!! idk how i didnt realize that before lol
as to what you said to my first point, i think that theres a level of dissonance between the games and comics with the threats theyre dealing with, and it kinda prevents me from explaining myself with examples. this MIGHT be a reach!!!! im sorry if it is BUT im gonna compare satbk and frontiers for a sec, since we're talking about satbk a lot here (as we should. its such a good game)
(and im not sure if youre lumping in Sonic in IDW with Sonic in Frontiers? a lot of people do but. idk maybe you dont lol. for the purposes of my point i will)
i think that there are parallels to be drawn between how Sonic treats Merlina and Sage, vs how he treats King Arthur and The End. he has a lot of patience for Merlina and Sage as he realizes theres a lot more to them besides just wanting to kill him, but he'll still take what they throw at him like he takes anything else. then you compare that to Arthur and The End, and Sonic is like. ready to destroy those guys. and i think that, while Sonic is first and foremost just living in the moment and reacting to what people throw at him, i also think that theres a huge difference between when Sonic is fighting a person and when Sonic is fighting a powerful entity. granted, he didnt know that King Arthur was an illusion, but he did know he was an immortal tyrant associated with hell. i mean. the underworld
i would love to use an example from the comics showing how he does treat similar scaled threats the same way but i. cant! because he doesnt face threats like that in IDW! hes dealing with things like "the dragon is back" and "that girl has psychological issues". the only thing that comes close to the world-ending threat that we see in the games is the metal virus, and it was both a lot more complicated than typical "defeat the bad guy, save the world" that we see in the games. now, that does NOT mean i dont think the games have complex stories but if i delved into every situation Sonic has been put in then we would be here for so long. and i dont wanna do that. so yeag.
basically to sum up my points above, im saying that the reason IDW Sonic has been pretty lax with his enemies, and even tries to help some of them, is because theyre not really the same level of threats as most of the villains he faces in the games. he can deal with them fine without ending them outright, so he doesnt really have an issue with letting them live. hes just kind of easy-going and chill like that. at least thats how i see it, maybe im missing something?
also, to your point that "Sonic doesnt fight for freedom, he fights against oppression" i just. do not agree lol. i mean, hes been associated with the Freedom Fighters since 1993, but theres also some more direct reference to it in reference to specifically Sonic
the Sonic Adventure Stylebook, page 9 (translated) - "He loves freedom and hates crookedness. He is impulsive and short-tempered, but also has a kindness that can't be ignored when someone is in trouble."
Sonic the Hedgehog Encyclo-speed-ia, page 13 - "Sonic is usually laid back and cool, but he's driven to fight injustice - not in the name of the law, but for the ideal of freedom."
and then i WAS going to add more examples, but the wayback machine is down right now so. can i just say source: trust me? sorry i wish i could add more examples :( i dont wanna dwell on this "for freedom or against oppression" point too much though, cuz i honestly think its just kinda arguing semantics. as well as the fact that i feel like both things are true, i just kinda didnt phrase it well in my original post
um. and now i kinda wanna go completely off the rails so please be nice to me but im gonna say something that may be controversial,,, i am of the mind that, because IDW is canon material, then it shouldnt be seen as a different character than how Sonic was written in some earlier games, even if it seems like it. because its just as much as source material as anything else! i really just think that most "out of character" things are more akin to different facets of a character. i think that writing off all of Sonic in IDW because some things he does contradicts what he does in the games is just kinda. idk. i dont like how quick people are to do that. i mean like, i got into Sonic because of IDW, and then i went and played the games and it never really felt any different to me -- just Sonic responding different to different situations. maybe i need to do another read through of IDW! but i really dont think that writing off an entire canon comic series is a good thing to do when looking at the facets of a character's personality. that could just be me
anyways ummmmm yeah i dont really have anything else to say? i dont disagree with everything you said, but there are some things that i dont think are quite right,,, hopefully this all makes more sense than my original post cuz i dont think i did a good job articulating my points
um. idk what else to add. bye bye i hope you at least liked my drawing of a super sad alien
"sonic just wants to be best friends with his enemies"
WRONG thats only in the idw comics. extremely loud incorrect buzzer.
#footnotes:#1. i dont usually bring up this point cuz im scared ppl will laugh at me for it.. but idw takes place a month after sonic was tortured in#the death egg. so i think that a lot of his more anxious moments in idw can be attributed to that#2. i also wanna be clear that whatever issues you or anyone else has with Sonics characterization shouldnt be attributed to Ian Flynn or#Evan Stanley and it should be directed toward the creative directors and the ip. if they were writing sonic in a way the ip didnt like they#would be forced to change it. just throwin that out there! ik you didnt say it in your post but ive seen a lot of ppl say it so. bleh#3. idw definitely shows Sonic being anxious or unsure more often than the games but i dont really think thats a bad thing. i like it when h#feels like a person! and part of being a person having those sorts of moments i suppose. if that makes sense#4. i have a more in depth look on The Phantom Rider specifically on my blog somewhere. i do think that the latest issues are the best Sonic#has been so far and earlier issues had some shaky moments with his characterization#though i think thats to be expected when coming off of Forces#5. i know i didnt respond to like the last third of what you said i just dont really know what to say other than big text that says#'i disagree'. and like theres so much there to unpack but i dont really think im smart enough for that#/#these footnotes are all over the place btw its just throwing some thoughts out there. not really contributing to my main point#idk. am i wrong? do i know anything? i feel like i know Sonic so well but when i try to explain i forget who he is. whats a hedgehog#ok fuck this post is making me so anxious i dont wanna be misinterpreted WAUGH im posting it anyways whatever. go my scarab#edit: ALSO ppl are talking about my post in serverssss???? (twirls hair) omg
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trulymadlysydney · 8 years ago
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girl i just want you to know that i literally go to you first about fuckboy. i feel like we're besties at this point :') ANYWAY ITA DICK APPOINTMENT ANON and tbh it's not that long of a story bc there's literally NOTHING TO IT OKOK but ya know how me and fuckboy have economics together?? well it starts at 9 so me and him always get breakfast together before so after that we're casually walking in to class totally normal like nothing outa the ordinary for me
and we don’t have assigned seats bc it’s a lecture all so over 200 students plus the professor is super chill. but next week is the first week of spring break fro my school so literally so many people were already gone?? idk they wild i’m tryna get good grades you feel me. BUT SAYING THAT you’d think i would sit closer to the front? nah fuckboy leads me KINDA FAR BACK WHERE NO ONE ELSE WAS RIGHT. so i’m like “what the fuck” but i’m still not really thinking anything of iti fucking thot. so we sit down class starts its whatever. YO IM NOT EVEN BEING DRAMATIC HERE THIS F U C O B O Y PUTS HIS HAND ON MY THIGH and i’m wearing a skirt bc it was hot as fuck today and i’m just sitting there like?? “he’s really not about to do this oh my goodness 🤔🤔” BUT YES HE WAS. at this point i just like cool i’m living a fanfic this is lit like christopher plz change ur name to harry styles. HE LEANS OVER AND WHISPERS IN MY DAMN EAR “can you be quiet for me baby” BOIIIok imma be honest the possibility of getting caught or whatever was always such a turn on to me AND HE KNOWS THIS. BITCH I PROCEED TO GET FINGERED IN A LECTURE. plz i’m so done with myself i always tell myself boys ain’t shit then this boy goes ahead and does tHIS and suddenly i’m perfectly fine. it’s 8 pm and i’m going to bed lmaooooo——
GIRL HOLY FUCK GET 👏 IT 👏 THAT IS SO HOT AND I AM A JEALOUS BITCG
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steveandbucky · 5 years ago
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this is the worst fucking contradiction. i love my job. i love helping people. i love doing a good job. i do get a sense of fulfillment because of the nature of the wider organisation (nhs) and the specifics of my job (customer service).
but i get STRESSED bc the way im working isnt RIGHT and i need to be more efficient cos im slow apparently which just sucks bc i do think I do a good job. by my own standards. but it doesn't work for the way things run here. cos we're short on resources and it gets busy and we can't keep patients waiting yeah ok
plus??? when it comes to making mistakes.... my past trauma immediately resurfaces and ruins things. and i try to explain it in a way that makes my boss understand but like I don't wanna divulge my personal history? she's not entitled to that. i just told her im aware and its something that I need to work on in therapy. i can't explain any further why i get upset and anxious (despite knowing im not getting told off for mistakes ... my brain is already panicking bitch! that's all it knew to do for years and years!!!!) she's also like telling me to relax and chill out LMAO I HAVE ANXIETY WHICH PART OF THAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? am i never gonna be able to work without people telling me how to feel? like wtf. im gonna be upset and then ill get over it. it's not like im SULKING or PUNCHING or something leave me alone honestly.
fine ill keep my words in my head. ill say ok & move on. i wont express anything I'll just say "I'm sorry" and move on. bc apparently trying to explain WHY I did the thing the way I did is bad. trying to say "ah, sorry, i thought I had to ..." is bad. I'll just say ok sorry. that seems to be what they want to hear i guess. who cares to take into consideration that maybe people have special needs? is it a special need when you get some relief from trying to explain why you Did The Thing Wrong? bc maybe they think "oh she's just making excuses instead of holding herself accountable". but why can't I explain why I think I did the thing wrong? it doesn't mean I'm not accepting the fact that I did make a mistake. idk
multiple times a day i come across things im not sure about or don't know anything about and i go and ask about it. she said that i do this wrong as well. well she said she doesn't think I ask for help. i said i do think I do that and then she gave me an example and slowly i understood what she meant. my own efforts, tbh. my own efforts to understand the criticism. i gotta think about this one because I do genuinely believe i ask for help. i ask everyone all the time i must be driving them up the wall surely wtf
im just unhappy because I have to improve or my contract won't be extended past the 2 months and then 1. I'll be out of a job 2. have to explain to my parents why I'm out of a job? again? 3. i highly doubt I'll be given a good reference by the manager so eh. now i gotta stay stressed? right as i was starting to relax and feel confident and feel like I've been doing a good job? yeah that's nice. real nice. ok
i hate work and working so much it's so fucking stressful
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