#its especially worse on the mlm stories. its so much worse

[milktian]

reading the batoto comment section is like going to hell and reminds me that not everyone has media literacy

[allastoredeer]

I'm with you there on preferring bottom!Alastor and getting squicked out by top!Alastor. The squick is worse for me when searching radioapple than radiostatic stuff, and I think it has more to do with the egregious amount of uke-fication of Lucifer that I've seen. Vox and Al get it sometimes too, let's be real that's gonna happen in any mlm ship. But I feel like it happens SO often to Lucifer, mostly cause he's small and cute, that people completely forget he's the oldest and most powerful entity in hell.

He would NOT be genuinely scared or intimidated by Al or any other sinner for that matter and Al would NOT be able to physically overpower or threaten Luci. It just feels so wildly out of character for me that any of the appeal of the ship/characters is gone at that point.

Like, for real, no shade to anyone that likes that, go on and get your food. But my extreme dislike of it has me now avoiding bottom!Lucifer radioapple like the plague just so I don't risk being subjected to it.

I think...I think you just described why I feel so squicked out by bottom!Lucifer and top!Alastor 😦 Like, I couldn't figure out what exactly about it was throwing me off, but you just said it perfectly!!

That's literally it! It's the uke-fication of Lucifer. That's it. Lucifer would never feel threatened by Alastor. He would never be overpowered by Alastor. So when I see depictions of Alastor successfully intimidating Lucifer, or overpowering him at all, it just throws me out of the story.

Lucifer's been alive longer than Hell. Alastor's measely 100+ years of being alive is nothing compared to his millennia+ lifespan. And yeah, Lucifer is the strongest person in Hell, he could beat Alastor in any fight, no question. He has no reason to be scared or threatened by him.

And look, there are ways to get Lucifer to a point of being afraid. There are always a way to make characters act in a way you wouldn't typically see. In fact, Lucifer, the biggest, baddest person in Hell, being threatened by something would be a huge thing for his character and for the story. That could totally work!

But when it comes from Alastor just going into his demon form, or looming over Lucifer, I just 🥲 it takes me out of the story. I can't. Alastor may be a big bad Overlord, and he's dangerous for sure, but like...power-wise he is just not on Lucifer's level and Lucifer knows that--Alastor knows that--and this is what makes their dynamic so, SO interesting, especially if they're in a relationship or slowly building into a relationship. That's what makes it so spicy and flavorful. The push and pull. The insecurity and emotion. The complex dynamic between them.

I think you're right about it making bottom!Lucifer and top!Alastor lose its appeal. I went back through my Twitter bookmarks yesterday and found a few top!Alastor's & bottom!Lucifer's that I've saved, but I've come to dislike that generalized characterization of it so much that I avoid it it like the plague too.

And like you said, there's no hate to those who enjoy it. This is fandom and people are allowed to write, draw, and do what they want. It's all fiction and it's not hurting anyone.

I just don't like the top!Alastor & bottom!Lucifer dynamic in most fan-arts, and I don't click onto fics with it cause I just don't want to subject myself to an unenjoyable time 😂 I'm here to have fun too, afterall.

[aphconfessions]

Ok so, this is the anon from the ask abt misogyny levied against the fandom.

Something I've noticed is that while Hetalia is often looked down at and regarded as "cringe + problematic", but media/fandoms with similar, if not worse, depictions of these topics and issues are still praised or at the very least you don't get glared at for saying you like it.

(Ex for problematic media esp of the offensive joke kind or the n-zi stuff kind: Ghost Stories, South Park, arguably JJBA, Danganronpa, etc.)

(Ex for "bad" fandoms that have done horrible stuff: Undertale, Danny Phantom, MLP, etc)

But something I've noticed about these series vs Hetalia is that- They mostly have either an equal amount of cis male to non-cis male fanbase or a predominantly cis male fanbase, but never a predominantly non-cis male fanbase.

Here's what I think is the result of that- People tend to apply more scrutiny to things that they see as a "girl thing", especially with the stereotype of the "rabid fangirl" and stereotype of women being "emotional and hysterical". The Hetalia fandom is a fandom full of mostly afabs, so it's much more heavily associated with the idea of the "crazy, hysterical fangirl".

Idk how else to expand it so I might do that later, but this is the best way I could currently explain it.

-🎩

anon... you are cooking...

misogyny in fandoms is SUCH an interesting topic to me. ive been in fandoms with a fanbase consisting of non-cis men before, and this is true. a lot of non-hetalians say that hetalia fans are 'fetishizing ww2', when that clearly isnt the case, because many of us CRITICIZE hima's work and are aware that its a problematic show.

and ive noticed that this kind of criticism can sometimes become pure misogyny, this is common in queer media (mainly mlm) who have fans that are women. people think of us as 'stupid, crazy fujoshis' who 'fetishize mlm' and yeah while that may be true, it's generalization. a lot of cis men are so quick to generalizing other women as sex-addicted fujos, fangirls, etc. but they are being hypocritical. like how many cis men have you seen NOT sexualizing a female character from a piece of media?

overall thank you for this, this is an awesome take and i think more people need to hear this one out.

- ⚓️ mod erebus

[3koboldsinahoodie]

Hello! I have a silly little question about "until you get sick of me"

First of all: I love your work, I love your interpretation of poolverine and your writing, youre doing a great job!!

Second: How's your feelings toward canon Jean? You know, I understand the hate she gets with the old x-men movies, she was...a mess 💀 but while reading Logan's memories about her in your work, I was like "omg scott is USELESS and jean is evil af" and then it hit me the feeling of making a woman bad for the sake of a mlm couple while the othet part was just as bad, but not recognized as one, but...

It's probably because Logan's memories towards Scott tends to keep making excuses for him ?? idk, I just want to hear your thoughts about it :))

Hellooo thank youuuu !!!

I am not a fan of Jean in most interpretations, especially not the movies - there may be some interpretations where she comes off better but shes not my cup of tea as a character, although she does have potential to be really interesting

However, the version of Jean in this fic is obviously something way worse than that. In the Scott pov fic it will become a lot more obvious when i get to that, but definitely was not my intention to just be like "woman bad because shes in the way of gay couple".

But this version of Jean from Logan's og universe is incredibly evil, and Logan is 100% valid in feeling that way. Scott is also Not Great and fucked up (as did Logan honestly but we'll get to that - and not to same extent) but in the story I'm creating its definitely not a case of Logan making excuses for Scott - honestly, with some of the context Logan is unfortunately missing, he may feel differently about a lot of things, but not Jean (if anything she probably will come off even worse). All 3 of them fucked up in some way, but this version of Jean is pretty easily the worst.

But like, not necessarily true of all versions of Jean, and its not my intention to have her /just/ be an obstacle! This is just a version of her, and its more because I wanted to explore how fucked up her powers could be if used by a terrible person, more than wanting to just get her out of the way or something. Like I don't like her, but I also feel like her whole deal is very under ultalised in the movies

Also just wanna say, as I post more stuff you will likely notice I have a bias towards writing mlm couples, but I wanna just be clear that that is because I am a gay man, so like thats what im naturally gonna gravitate towards reading and writing. I'm never gonna be intentionally placing a woman as just being an obstacle (not saying thats what youre saying I'm doing!! but just wanna be clear hahaha), though I am aware with the Scott pov its kinda situtionally ended up looking that way plot wise

None of them are entirely innocent, and its definitely not just Scott being spineless/useless, but also dont wanna pretend like Jean is at all redeemable in this version of herself cause like if youve been picking up some of the stuff ive been putting down, shes very much not

Ok sorry that was the longest ramble for that question and i feel like i repeated myself way too much but I hope this answers and also it makes sense hahaha

[codajaiden]

I don't get the gist of Nightbow (Rainbow Steve x Nightmare) like, how does that work??

(warning I might rant so much y'all would explode, correct me if I'm wrong tho)

"enemies to lovers!" No. Lemme clear this up for you

Nightmare and Rainbow were created to kill each other, hate each other's guts, there is no conversation or part in SS or RQ where they went and be normal people talking to each other and stuff (not that I can think of anyways)

"for fun" I don't care if it's for fun, sure it's funny but like????? How is it y'all's favourite????

I'm someone who likes to go insane just watching plot, WHILE YES, STEVE SAGA WAS JUST A RANDOM STEVE SERIES AND WAS VERY RANDOM WHEN IT COMES TO PLOT, ITS SILLY, ITS RANDOM

But y'all are like "I can fix them", there is nothing to fix???? they are literally people wanting to kill each other and that is their goal.

Oh and let's not forget, I have my eyes on the people who write in Wattpad, don't think I have not seen their "freaky" writing at all.

It's not only Nightbow at least, I see the people here who ship Rainbow and Void together, same thing, but if we're talking SS then there was still no good interaction of them both to be on the level of actually being good friends. Still, Wattpad people are freaky about them too.

This can be implied to Favremyrainbow ig, but to me it's very bland and boring. I admit I did in fact ship them, but as time passed I just stopped because it was so cringe 💀💀

I don't want to be mean and rude when it comes to this but it bugs me every time.

Okay the only thing I can counter this is Alux x Petro.

Petro and Alux are basically Anna and Hanz in Frozen, gaslighting and manipulation exist but dynamic and trust are important. There is communication towards the two that leads into something in the plot.

Nightbow has none of that, they hate each other's guts. People say they can fix them, nah, with Palux you can make them worse (/j) HEJWJEJWJSJA

"Petro and Alux's entire dynamic is mainly built off of manipulation" YES but thats on Petro's side. Most people ship it due to it being tragic on Alux's side because everyone in this fandom likes doomed mlm i guess (I'm one of those people but again the plot reasons goes on for both of their dynamic)

"But he stabbed him" YES. I have not seen a single person who ships them currently its mainly a one sided ship. For alux its built off genuine love and care for Petro, knowing he's the only REAL connection in his life. The people who ship them (from what I've seen) mainly do it for tragedy and narrative purposes. no one is actually here WANTING alux to be stabbed and abused

And for Petro it adds much more conflict to his character if you add like any romance to him. like, loving the person your meant to kill and killing them anyways is a really interesting narrative plot idea. Its also really funny tbh but oh well.

Narratively it adds more to their characters as long as you dont romantize it and treat it like it'd be healthy especially at this point in the story.

This is literally doomed Yaoi (it's funny I wanna say that) and it works so well because of how they were narratively written this way towards each other. This cooked better than some enemy wanting to, excuse my language, have freaky SHIZ going on with the Hero 💀

Okay I'm done with my ranting I'm sorry for the people who like Nightbow but I'm sharing what I'm saying and y'all are gonna respect it and not be problematic. I feel like I should not be on the internet for a good while late and night this is how freaky I get when it's past midnight lmao

[a-halfblood-named-coin]

As your resident survivor of pretty much every mlm ship that didnt become canon, I think this whole (potentially not canon? Idk I’m confused) MHA epilogue is worse in one way.

There’s rejection.

For most ships you think of (Klance, merthur, John lock, narusasu, ect.) they don’t become canon, date women and so on BUT they don’t reject eachother.

There’s never a scene in Voltron where Keith offers Lance his dreams on a silver platter, admits he spent almost a whole decade working towards it, just for Lance to say “no thanks bro.” The visceral anger at this epilogue isn’t about what become canon or not (mostly) it’s about how this chapter seems to end the most important relationship in the entire manga with “and then they went their separate ways.”

It ends the relationship between two main characters, between two people who have been circling eachother for real life years, with “Nah I’m okay.”

THATS CRAZY.

To write, platonic or not, one of the most interesting relationships of modern anime. One of the most fascinating redemption and healing arcs a character can have. (Bakugo is fucking stellar in so many ways.) and to have the last thing we see of him, is him being left alone after being rejected, thinking something along the lines of “I guess no one’s really special.”….it’s so fucking insane I can’t even.

Don’t get me wrong, you can write relationships that grow apart especially in shows that deal with teens becoming adults, it’s a natural pet of life. But that wasn’t written, we skipped the part in the story that’s meant to justify this change in Izukus behavior so it feels rushed and shocking.

The Izuku we just saw in the stories end would have done anything to continue being a hero, fucking anything, so its wild to skip straight from that to him rejecting the opportunity to be one again.

It’s just….upsetting.

[alpydk]

And a third 💜

Neither Tav or their SO have really dealt with the trauma of the main story, even a while after the epilogue. They are recalling the story to a child (either theirs or belonging to another tadfool) and start to realize how much shit they actually went through.

~🐕

I enjoyed this one. I was tempted to go with Nana and her past but if you've not read CoO then it won't make much sense. So I went with Durge/Astarion and hope that ok. (I've only used the name Tav as it sounds nicer than Durge.)

Twisted Memories

Word count - 2350 words - Astarion x Durge (MlM)- CW!!!! - Angst, S/H, mentions to torture, starvation and S/A, No comfort at all. (Also Astarion not portrayed in the best light.)

Tav rubbed at his wrists, a nervous habit he’d picked up over the years made especially worse now that he called the Underdark his home. How he wished for the sunlight to shine upon his face again, but he needed to accept that in darkness was how his life was meant to be lived now. It was no different to that of his childhood, one of sealed caskets and stone ruins coated only with the blood of his fists. Now he simply had a different reason for being there, or was it the same reason? Some days, he didn’t even know himself. He was here, because someone else said he had to be there, someone else made the choices again for him.

He sat within the abandoned Arcane tower that Astarion and he had called their home since their descent underground, his head down, and his mind occupied. The rubble had been cleared since, but the bookshelves were still lined with dust and cobwebs. Chairs were broken around him, either left as they had been, or from more recent acts of aggression meeting them, and all that lay truly intact were the weapons and armour Tav had once adorned.

There were no longer chains that bound him, and yet the red rings sat around his wrists from the pressure of his thumbs. He didn’t even feel the pain anymore as the skin was removed, first as a thin surface bruise which then grew deeper, slowly becoming a speckled pattern of crimson under the skin before the stinging finally set in. Even after the wounds scabbed, he would mindlessly pick them open again, longing for the scars to remain their angered pink. When he was young, he’d dreamt of losing the memories of where he was, of the iron manacles that held him down, but now as he was older, now he had been freed of his past, he wished to have it all back, to know who he was again, to no longer be lost.

It had been over a year since the defeat of the Netherbrain and he thought over all that had happened since he’d left the docks of Baldur’s Gate. Surely he had healed since then, since his release from Bhaal with all if its torture, deaths, and voices that came with being such a slave, victim... willing subject. Surely he was okay now. He glanced up, spotting Astarion approach from the arcane transporter, a young vampire spawn trailing not far behind him with a look of shame upon her face.

“Could you explain to her why we don’t use the C word here before I lose the strength not to stake her?” His voice was curt, impatient, no different from a year ago when his master’s name had been uttered.

“What? Cunt?”

The piercing red eyes widened. Though time and the death of Cazador may have healed some wounds, the fear still lay underneath, simmering constantly for moments when it was least expected. “Don’t be facetious. You know exactly what word I mean.”

Tav sighed. This wasn’t the first time such a request had been made of him and he was growing a little impatient at playing parent to spawn that, really, he should have killed when he had the chance. No, I’m better than what I used to be. “Astarion, just sit down and pour yourself some wine.”

The young vampire watched on in confusion. The name Cazador had been forbidden whilst in the presence of their new master, but it was still someone she and the fellow spawn spoke of often, all of them trying to recover from either centuries of imprisonment or the torture that followed them through dreams without mercy. Astarion, however, was cold to their conversations, actively trying to stop or censor them when they became too much, and eventually he’d forbid the name entirely. None could understand why.

Now he sat with the red wine, his lips pursed to the edge of the glass as he watched her with contempt. “Tell Tav what you said.”

“But it wasn’t anything-“

“Tell him!”

Her eyes caught the bruised wrists first, the blood so close to the surface she could smell it. “I... I didn’t mean any of it.”

“That’s not what I asked of you,” Astarion snarled. Despite the ascension never going ahead, little had changed about him after that night. He’d become more open, softer around Tav, but his walls were still there, high and guarded, with anyone else. He still used the same aggression, still manipulated and played the part to get what he wanted, and, if needed, still took out anyone that did not agree with him.

Tav looked at the young girl. She couldn’t have been older than twenty when she was turned, human with ebony hair and now cherry red eyes that shot through the dim light towards him. He spoke clearly, his voice cold and devoid of emotion. “When were you turned?”

She looked at him in confusion. “Maybe two years ago.”

“Hm, that explains a lot.”

Astarion scoffed at the reply. “So, she doesn’t have a clue.”

“Not all can have the life experience that you have had, but maybe with this new information you could tell her yourself why we do not speak of Cazador.” Tav rolled the name off his tongue, a combination of spite and provocation behind his actions.

Her eyes widened with what she heard, expecting that the worst was about to happen. People had heard the fights between the two men within the tower walls, how Tav needed to open up, how Astarion needed to let go. They’d seen the destruction of furniture, the traces of blood as words had turned to punches, the consequences of the strained relationship upon spawn too stupid to stay quiet.

Astarion put the glass down and hissed through his teeth. “Or maybe we both could, love...”

Tav’s provoking had worked and soon would be another night of fighting to enjoy. It really was the only thing he had now to feel any emotions about. What had once been sex filled nights amongst the trees had soon become evenings of bitter comments or their history over wine, neither of them willing to share the full details. Astarion had remained emotional about his past, never really letting go of it, but Tav had buried his so far down trying not to become what he’d been destined to be that he’d lost everything about himself in return, all happiness, joy, and sadness with nothing left but the fear of losing control.

He signalled for the girl to sit on the last chair, which remained intact, and slowly revealed what Astarion already knew. “Bhaal was my father. I was made to kill or be killed.” His words were apathetic, as if he were discussing one of the many addictions he’d failed to drown out his life with.

“Oh, come now, darling. You can do better than that.”

“Well, I’m not hearing you speak up.”

There was a scowl at the words spoken. “Cazador was a monster. For two hundred years, I was his slave. You think your blink of existence within his dungeon was bad, spawn? You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

She shuffled uncomfortably in the chair, feeling as if she were caught in the middle of an argument she shouldn’t be witnessing. “But you escaped. You got your closure,” she mumbled.

Tav lowered his gaze, knowing what was to come. It was a feeling he knew all too well, the invalidation and anger that would flare up.

“Closure?! You think closure comes from something like that?! You think that bastard’s death removes the memories!?”

“But it couldn’t have been that bad...”

“Do you have a name, spawn?” Tav jumped in before Astarion attacked her. It had happened before and the last thing either of them needed was to be clearing a corpse or finding pieces of one for days to come.

“Edith...”

“Well, Edith. When you were held captive, were you beaten at all?”

She nodded, her eyes fixed on Tav, trying to avoid the angered gaze that bored into her.

“Starved?”

Again came a small nod.

“But they weren’t for very long in the grand scheme of things, were they? A year if we go by your dates. That’s correct, right?” Tav didn’t wait for a reply. “You see, a year really is nothing if you think about it. And beatings and being starved really are only the basics when it comes to a hard life.”

Astarion sighed next to him impatiently. “Do get on with it.”

“How did it feel when you were starved, Edith?”

She looked down at her feet, trying to recall the fleeting memories. “It...” Edith paused with a discomfort, as if her stomach was back within the cell and crawling in on itself. “It didn’t feel good at all.”

“And that was just for one year. From what I gather, some of your companions were without blood for a century or longer.”

The look of guilt passed over her features instantly.

“But you see, what you suffered was quite trivial. A rumbly tummy, a few broken ribs from the heel of your master.” Tav looked over to Astarion with expectation.

Looking at her with contempt, Astarion gritted his teeth as he considered which of the many methods of torture to crush her naïve mind with. “Cazador would burn us using the sun,” he began. “Locked away in rooms we could barely stand in, where the walls had been scratched with our own nails as we tried to claw ourselves out. In those walls were tiny holes, no bigger than a needlepoint, and through them would come the pinpricks of sunlight. Have you ever felt the burn of the sun?”

She shook her head.

“Maybe you should. You know, sometimes I still feel it upon my skin.”

Tav thought back to his own past trapped within the darkness of the small stone walls that crowded around him, the walls he feared he would be crushed under should he grow any bigger. It was terrifying, but it all seemed so normal to be treated that way. Orin had been, as had many of the Bhaal cultists. Everyone was beaten, starved, tortured at some point... weren’t they?

Astarion continued. “Holy water.” He smiled with fondness at the method he was about to describe. “Dripped upon the brow slowly. The incessant noise of drip drip drip... The scar would heal, but that never meant it was over.”

Holy water, water from the well, blood. It made little difference to Tav. A slow drip was what he had wished for as his lungs had filled up with fluids as they were poured through the dirty cloth crammed into his mouth. His stomach clenched with the memory of his young body being dragged towards the iron chair, the manacles cold and still displaying the dried scarlet sheen of earlier lessons. But they were just training him to be tough, punishing him for not being strong enough. It was normal, wasn’t it? The burns, the cuts, the rats that bit. Normal…

“And that’s before we even get to...” Astarion struggled to get the last words out, his eyes glassing over momentarily.

Edith cut in. “I think I understand now.”

It had been their first night in the forest together where Tav had learnt that not all sex had to involve aggression. His mind went back to it, of the bark upon his back, his neck bared to give himself in one way or another, just as he always had. It hadn’t involved his eyes clenched tightly shut, fighting back the tears that threated to break free, trying to cut his mind off from the burning in his body, but it still hadn’t felt right. Even since that night, he hadn’t understood the appeal of intimacy aside from the fact that he could hurt himself with it, a punishment of sorts for all he had done. That’s how Astarion viewed it, clearly, one moment of disgust... So, that’s what its function was, right?

The longer the conversation went on, the more Tav seemed to close off to the surrounding world. Memories presented themselves so vividly to him of his youth, of the things he had been through, believing them to be how everyone else lived. Since the death of his father, he’d known his life was fucked up, one trauma after another, but so much he had justified as deserving, or simply how things were thanks to how similar they’d been to his companion’s past. He rubbed at his wrists, the stinging of torn flesh bringing him some relief, and he let out a small whisper without even realising. “It wasn’t meant to be that way, was it?”

“What are you talking about?” Astarion said in irritation. “Seriously, darling, the least you could do is listen.”

“Everything we went through: the torture, the scars, being touched that way...” The words trailed off as the thoughts started their merciless torment.

Edith glanced between the two men, pushing her chair back slowly. “I’ll just...”

Astarion’s features softened, and he nodded for her to leave before turning back to Tav. “What are you going on about, love?”

There was a brief moment where Tav wanted to spill all, to reveal the thoughts trying to overwhelm him, that his life had been nothing but relentless pain and abuse that he shouldn’t have been through, that he had been a victim. The emotions burned behind his eyes, the unfairness of it all; he was just a child; he didn’t deserve any of it, but vulnerability reared its ugly head in spite, something that the gallons of water had washed away for certain all those years ago, and he let out a sigh. “Nothing... nothing at all.”

They sat in silence for some time before Astarion left, knowing he would get little explanation as per usual. Stinging flesh relaxed the senses, angered pink scars restored the memories, shackles gripped the wrists firmly in place. Such was life for the son of Bhaal.

[100hearteyes]

Here is my (very disorganized) analysis of Bienvenidos a Edén/Welcome to Eden. I usually avoid getting spoilery in these but this time it's unavoidable. I'll try to keep it to things either shown or implied in the first two episodes.

First things first, if you're watching BaE and suddenly wonder like, "wait, I feel like I've seen this before" – it's because you have. It's called The Wilds and it streams on Prime. The premise and a lot of the mechanics are pretty much the same. That said, BaE manages to keep it interesting (though not as well written) and inserts some verrrry pleasant variables.

Such as the very, very, very spoilery thing I shall yell about in the last paragraph of this analysis.

On the other hand, the story itself is paper-thin and some characters are either caricatures or badly built/written, and the writing stumbles on its own big brain-ness a couple of times.

I find it funny how Netflix Spanish shows always have an Argentinean actor (Alta Mar, Sky Rojo – Wendy ❤️ –, Élite, La Casa de Papel).

I managed to start and end BaE unspoiled and am very glad. Tbh I came for Bel's abs (I called her Abs at first) and the horses, stayed for a lot of other things. The first couple of episodes – first one especially – are the hardest ones to get through, but I genuinely think BaE is worth a watch: it has a diverse cast, the big baddie is a total MILF (we love evil women in this house); some characters are lovely – when Maika, Charly, or Bel smile, you smile; the love between the sisters, Zoa and Gaby, is beautiful to watch, even when they're apart; and the mystery surrounding Edén is intriguing.

The way they portray environmental awareness is dodgy at best. I get what they're trying to do: replicate The Wilds's Gretchen – "yeah she's evil, but is she wrong?". The thing is, as loath as I am to say this, there is a difference between putting kids in mortal danger to prove a point and actually killing them – even worse, having the kids you trust kill the ones who rebel, and making it part of a reward system. So when it's Erik and Astrid saying those things, it's worse. Also, Gretchen's is more the crazy, psychotic type than Astrid, who is calm, cold, analytical. Those things as well as its insulation from the main plot play a part in making BaE's portrayal of environmental awareness dodgier than the feminism in The Wilds, which weaves it directly into the character-oriented story it tells.

I like how BaE subverts some character expectations – Nico at the center of this –, but would oh so appreciate it if África stopped making googly eyes at Edén Dad. Bel is by far my favorite character, and not just for the abs or being a lesbian – yes, she has her flaws, and SPOILERS her recklessness has led to tragedy (she told Fran to wait though!), SPOILER OVER but she's selfless and compassionate and she is trying to effect lasting change, but still finds it in herself to pause her plans and help others.

Oh also I just realized Begoña Vargas (Bel) is also Verónica from Alta Mar and now that I've seen her freckles I need them to never be hidden again. Her freckles are beautiful.

Also love Zoa, Maika, Eloy, and Charly.

There is a surprising amount of mlm/wlw solidarity, even if I think it's not intentional. And you can really see the bond between some characters (Bel and Eloy, Maika and Charly, Zoa and Gaby, Cláudia and Fran, Astrid and Erik).

And also, HORSES. SO MANY HORSES. The horse lover in me was LOVING THE HORSES.

Despite the issues I really look forward to the second season, because I can't not know what happens next and I love some of the characters. However, I don't see this show having enough of a story to run for more than two seasons.

And finally, where this gets really spoilery.

SPOILERS BELOW

.

.

.

THE LESBIAN ACTIVITY 🙌❤️

For me it's the way it started out as Bel having an apparent straight girl crush and then she and Zoa actually became the main couple ❤️

And Nico being manipulative at first but actually liking Zoa but then turning out to be an irredeemable psycho? Fuck. Yes. This isn't a love triangle, my dudes. It's a lesbian romance with an evil psycho trying to get in the way.

And also- QUEER WOMEN STAY WINNING 🙌

That said, I fear the season finale painted a target on either Bel or Eloy (or both)'s back. I really really hope neither of them, least of all Bel, dies. I really hope the writers see Bel as key for the revolution and don't kill her 🥺 I think she's more useful alive than as a martyr.

[jeannereames]

Hi, Dr. Reames! I just read your take on Song of Achilles and it got me thinking. Do you think there might be a general issue with the way women are written in mlm stories in general? Because I don't think it's the first time I've seen something like this happen.

And my next question is, could you delve further into this thing you mention about modern female authors writing women? How could we, beginner female writers, avoid falling into this awful representations of women in our writing?

Thank you for your time!

[It took a while to finish this because I wrote, re-wrote, and re-wrote it. Still not sure I like it, but I need to let it go. It could be 3xs as long.]

I’ll begin with the second half of the question, because it’s simpler. How do we, as women authors, avoid writing women in misogynistic ways?

Let me reframe that as how can we, as female authors, write negative (even quite nasty) female characters without falling into misogynistic tropes? Also, how can we write unsympathetic, but not necessarily “bad” female characters, without it turning misogynistic?

Because people are people, not genders, not all women are good, nor all men bad. Most of us are a mix. If we should avoid assuming powerful women are all bitches, by the same token, some women are bitches (powerful or not).

ALL good characterization comes down to MOTIVE. And careful characterization of minority characters involves fair REPRESENTATION. (Yes, women are a minority even if we’re 51% of the population.)

The question ANY author must ask: why am I making this female character a bitch? How does this characterization serve the larger plot and/or characterization? WHY is she acting this way?

Keep characters complex, even the “bad guys.” Should we choose to make a minority character a “bad guy,” we need to have a counter example—a real counter, not just a token who pops in briefly, then disappears. Yeah, maybe in an ideal world we could just let our characters “be,” but this isn’t an ideal world. Authors do have an audience. I’m a lot less inclined to assume stereotyping when we have various minority characters with different characterizations.

By the same token, however, don’t throw a novel against the wall if the first minority character is negative. Read further to decide if it’s a pattern. I’ve encountered reviews that slammed an author for stereotyping without the reader having finished the book. I’m thinking, “Uh…if you’d read fifty more pages….” Novels have a developmental arc. And if you’ve got a series, that, too, has a developmental arc. One can’t reach a conclusion about an author’s ultimate presentation/themes until having finished the book, or series.*

Returning to the first question, the appearance of misogyny depends not only on the author, but also on when she wrote, even why she’s writing. Authors who are concerned with matters such as theme and message are far more likely to think about such things than those who write for their own entertainment and that of others, which is more typical of Romance.

On average, Romance writers are a professionalized bunch. They have national and regional chapters of the Romance Writers of America (RWA), newsletters and workshops that discuss such matters as building plot tension, character dilemmas, show don’t tell, research tactics, etc. Yet until somewhat recently (early/mid 2010s), and a series of crises across several genres (not just Romance), treatment of minority groups hadn’t been in their cross-hairs. Now it is, with Romance publishers (and publishing houses more generally) picking up “sensitivity readers” in addition to the other editors who look at a book before its publication.

Yet sensitivity readers are hired to be sure lines like “chocolate love monkey” do not show up in a published novel. Yes, that really was used as an endearment for a black man in an M/M Romance, which (deservedly) got not just the author but the publishing house in all sorts of hot water. Yet misogyny, especially more subtle misogyny in the way of tropes, is rarely on the radar.

I should add that I wouldn’t categorize The Song of Achilles as an M/M historical Romance. In fact, I’m not sure what to call novels about myths, as myths don’t exist in actual historical periods. When should we set a novel about the Iliad? The Bronze Age, when Homer said it happened, or the Greek Dark Age, which is the culture Homer actually described? They’re pretty damn different. I’d probably call The Song of Achilles an historical fantasy, especially as mythical creatures are presented as real, like centaurs and god/desses.

Back to M/M Romance: I don’t have specific publishing stats, but it should surprise no one that (like most of the Romance genre), the vast bulk of authors of M/M Romance are women, often straight and/or bi- women. The running joke seems to be, If one hot man is good, two hot men together are better. 😉 Yes, there are also trans, non-binary and lesbian authors of M/M Romance, and of course, bi- and gay men who may write under their own name or a female pseudonym, but my understanding is that straight and bi- cis-women authors outnumber all of them.

Just being a woman, or even a person in a female body, does not protect that author from misogyny. And if she’s writing for fun, she may not be thinking a lot about what her story has to “say” in its subtext and motifs, even if she may be thinking quite hard about other aspects of story construction. This can be true of other genres as well (like historical fantasy).

What I have observed for at least some women authors is the unconscious adoption of popular tropes about women. Just as racism is systemic, so is sexism. We swim in it daily, and if one isn’t consciously considering how it affects us, we can buy into it by repeating negative ideas and acting in prescribed ways because that’s what we learned growing up. If writing in a symbol-heavy genre such as mythic-driven fantasy, it can be easy to let things slip by—even if they didn’t appear in the original myth, such as making Thetis hostile to Patroklos, the classic Bitchy Mother-in-Law archetype.

I see this sort of thing as “accidental” misogyny. Women authors repeat unkind tropes without really thinking them through because it fits their romantic vision. They may resent it and get defensive if the trope is pointed out. “Don’t harsh my squee!” We can dissect why these tropes persist, and to what degree they change across generations—but that would end up as a (probably controversial) book, not a blog entry. 😊

Yet there’s also subconscious defensive misogyny, and even conscious/semi-conscious misogyny.

Much debate/discussion has ensued regarding “Queen Bee Syndrome” in the workplace and whether it’s even a thing. I think it is, but not just for bosses. I also would argue that it’s more prevalent among certain age-groups, social demographics, and professions, which complicates recognizing it.

What is Queen Bee Syndrome? Broadly, when women get ahead at the expense of their female colleagues who they perceive as rivals, particularly in male-dominated fields, hinging on the notion that There Can Be Only One (woman). It arises from systemic sexism.

Yes, someone can be a Queen Bee even with one (or two) women buddies, or while claiming to be a feminist, supporting feminist causes, or writing feminist literature. I’ve met a few. What comes out of our mouths doesn’t necessarily jive with how we behave. And ticking all the boxes isn’t necessary if you’re ticking most of them. That said, being ambitious, or just an unpleasant boss/colleague—if its equal opportunity—does not a Queen Bee make. There must be gender unequal behavior involved.

What does any of that have to do with M/M fiction?

The author sees the women characters in her novel as rivals for the male protagonists. It gets worse if the women characters have some “ownership” of the men: mothers, sisters, former girlfriends/wives/lovers. I know that may sound a bit batty. You’re thinking, Um, aren’t these characters gay or at least bi- and involved with another man, plus—they’re fictional? Doesn’t matter. Call it fantasizing, authorial displacement, or gender-flipped authorial insert. We authors (and I include myself in this) can get rather territorial about our characters. We live in their heads and they live in ours for months on end, or in many cases, years. They’re real to us. Those who aren't authors often don’t quite get that aspect of being an author. So yes, sometimes a woman author acts like a Queen Bee to her women characters. This is hardly all, or even most, but it is one cause of creeping misogyny in M/M Romance.

Let’s turn to a related problem: women who want to be honorary men. While I view this as much more pronounced in prior generations, it’s by no means disappeared. Again, it’s a function of systemic sexism, but further along the misogyny line than Queen Bees. Most Queen Bees I’ve known act/react defensively, and many are (imo) emotionally insecure. It’s largely subconscious. More, they want to be THE woman, not an honorary man.

By contrast, women who want to be honorary men seem to be at least semi-conscious of their misogyny, even if they resist calling it that. These are women who, for the most part, dislike other women, regard most of “womankind” as either a problem or worthless, and think of themselves as having risen above their gender.

And NO, this is not necessarily religious—sometimes its specifically a-religious.

“I want to be an honorary man” women absolutely should NOT be conflated with butch lesbians, gender non-conformists, or frustrated FTMs. That plays right into myths the queer community has combated for decades. There’s a big difference between expressing one’s yang or being a trans man, and a desire to escape one’s womanhood or the company of other women. “Honorary men” women aren’t necessarily queer. I want to underscore that because the concrete example I’m about to give does happen to be queer.

I’ve talked before about Mary Renault’s problematic portrayal of women in her Greek novels (albeit her earlier hospital romances don’t show it as much). Her own recorded comments make it clear that she and her partner Julie Mullard didn’t want to be associated with other lesbians, or with women much at all. She was also born in 1905, living at a time when non-conforming women struggled. If extremely active in anti-apartheid movements in South Africa, Renault and Mullard were far less enthused by the Gay Rights Movement. Renault even criticized it, although she wrote back kindly to her gay fans.

The women in Renault’s Greek novels tend to be either bitches or helpless, reflecting popular male perceptions of women: both in ancient Greece and Renault’s own day. If we might argue she’s just being realistic, that ignores the fact one can write powerful women in historical novels and still keep it attitudinally accurate. June Rachuy Brindel, born in 1919, author of Ariadne and Phaedra, didn’t have the same problem, nor did Martha Rofheart, born in 1917, with My Name is Sappho. Brindel’s Ariadne is much more sympathetic than Renault’s (in The King Must Die).

Renault typically elevates (and identifies with) the “rational” male versus the “irrational” female. This isn’t just presenting how the Greeks viewed women; it reflects who she makes the heroes and villains in her books. Overall, “good” women are the compliant ones, and the compliant women are tertiary characters.

Women in earlier eras who were exceptional had to fight multiple layers of systemic misogyny. Some did feel they had to become honorary men in order to be taken seriously. I’d submit Renault bought into that, and it (unfortunately) shows in her fiction, as much as I admire other aspects of her novels.

So I think those are the three chief reasons we see women negatively portrayed in M/M Romance (or fiction more generally), despite being written by women authors.

------------------------------------

*Yeah, yeah, sometimes it’s such 2D, shallow, stereotypical presentation that I, as a reader, can conclude this author isn’t going to get any better. Also, the publication date might give me a clue. If I’m reading something published 50 years ago, casual misogyny or racism is probably not a surprise. If I don’t feel like dealing with that, I close the book and put it away.

But I do try to give the author a chance. I may skim ahead to see if things change, or at least suggest some sort of character development. This is even more the case with a series. Some series take a loooong view, and characters alter across several novels. Our instant-gratification world has made us impatient. Although by the same token, if one has to deal with racism or sexism constantly in the real world, one may not want to have to watch it unfold in a novel—even if it’s “fixed” later. If that’s you, put the book down and walk away. But I’d just suggest not writing a scathing review of a novel (or series) you haven’t finished. 😉

[vldkeith]

this may get long and u really dont need to post it if u dont wanna keep going with this. do you know that game that someone says something to another person, and then that person says to another, and it goes on like this and when it reaches the last person the message is completely different? Fandom DiscourseTM is always like that. especially in a case like this, it started on tumblr and went to twitter, so almost everyone had no context of what led to it. and people already have their formed

opinions about evil klancers who hate on creators for no reason, so they will on purpose ignore whatever might have started the discourse this time and jump to conclusions. i saw a lot of people who clearly had no idea what this was all about, and one or two even changed their opinions after hearing the context. so op of that post, like many people, probably had no idea how this all started and already jumped to conclusions.

fandom experience is a lot based on what you make it. its totally possible to not see criticism if... you dont follow blogs that are saying critics... people always fail to see this. "omg no one talks about this thing" no babe just because you never saw it, doesnt mean this discussion was never happening. especially because minorities are treated terrible in fandom spaces, when they say their concers and critics its treated as hate to content creators and "omg let people do what they want!!!!"

so the critics happens, but people ignore it and treat it as discourse and hate, making people who dare say something feel more and more unsafe to say anything. and then people turn around to say that no one was talking about it? cmon. also people seem to have this idea that the voltron fandom is/was so Toxic and all that as if every fandom isnt like this lol vld just happened to be >really big< but its always like that, vld is a bit different case but not that special.

its a lot easier to stop at "so you are saying that drawing buff men is bad" to actually use brain cells to analysis. some artists draw the boys buff and its nor weird or sexualized, its just a matter of preference and people are allowed to dislike. but oh how dare you say you dont like something in your fucking personal blog huh? maybe its because ive been on fandoms for a long time, and most of it was in fujoshi spaces, so i dont get why people dont get the point of this discussion.

sexualization of men happens a lot and its a huge problem for mlm. having women sexualize and project and reinforce steriotypes isnt revolutionary. its a problem. like i said, it reinforces a lot of bad things about mlm. drawing buff men isnt homophobic but when you are putting the buff men in the dominating role and the other men is very femine and small and fragile.. and u are a woman... theres no other way to see this as harmful. yes men and relationships like that exist in real life but

its one thing for a mlm to write/draw about their own experiences and its another thing for a woman, most times straight, to do it. they do it based on steriotypes and its really gross. people dont seem to get that this hole goes much depper than what ml does, thats just the tip of the iceberg. its a lot worse than what she does. but people refuse to go beyond the "are u saying people cant do what they want" so its impossible to have an actual discussion about this.

i get ur frustation with this ren, and like i said u dont need to post this if u dont wanna. i have a lot of thoughts about this but idk if i expressed myself well lol anyway king ily

(bolding done by me) this is very eloquently said. i 100% agree with you, we’re all caught in a game of telephone that nobody is sure of the context of. and everything you said abt this not beginning/ending with ml--yeah. like. that’s just it. this is a whole bigger problem, as oliver addressed above, and i wish people would recognize it or at least acknowledge when they don’t have the full story. i rly dont have much to add to this tho, oliver said it all perfectly. thank you.

[pocketreads]

To Keep It Short: This will probably be a story that a lot of readers love... unfortunately, I am not that reader (A TL;DR can be found at the bottom of this review!)

Summary: Jake Livingston is one of the only Black kids at St. Clair Prep. It’s hard enough fitting in but to make matters worse and definitely more complicated, Jake can see the dead. In fact, he sees the dead around him all the time. Most are harmless. Stuck in their death loops as they relive their deaths over and over again, they don’t interact often with people.

But then Jake meets Sawyer. A troubled teen who shot and killed six kids at a local high school last year before taking his own life. Now a powerful, vengeful ghost, he has plans for his afterlife–plans that include Jake. Suddenly, everything Jake knows about ghosts and the rules to life itself go out the window as Sawyer begins haunting him and bodies turn up in his neighborhood.

High school soon becomes a survival game–one Jake is not sure he’s going to win.

THE BOOK:

CWs: graphic imagery; death/murder; suicidal ideation and attempts; mass shootings/gun violence; child abuse, mental and physical; attempted sexual assault; racism, bullying, and homophobia Release date: 7/13/2021 Publisher: Putnam (Penguin Teen) Page Count: 308 Genre: YA Paranormal horror Is It Queer: Yep! Main MLM romance

THE REVIEW:

I had really high hopes for this one. I love a classic paranormal slice-of-life novel, and all the better when it's starring a queer Black boy. Unfortunately, this book just... wasn't great. The Taking of Jake Livingston follows Jake as he navigates being not only gay and one of the only Black kids at his private school, but also being a medium. The ability to see the souls in the After isn't new for him, but he's always tried to ignore it up until now. Suddenly, Jake's already stressful life is made worse when he finds himself haunted by the ghost of Sawyer Doon--the boy who shot up his high school before taking his own life. Now, it's not just Jake's life on the line, but his friends, his families, his crush--and even the ghosts of the kids whose lives Sawyer took in the shooting. Some positives! The main plot was pretty fast-paced and therefore did a pretty good job of keeping you engaged. The ghost-world was unique and intriguing, and I enjoyed the concept of using "ecto-mist" as a weapon. There were some fantastically gory and creepy imagery, some undeniably spooky, hair-raising scenes, and the author certainly succeeds at unsettling the reader, especially within Sawyer's (the shooter) scenes. Like, objectively, this is a fun book. Unfortunately, these things couldn't really compete with the fact that this book reads much like low-budget teen superhero movie. There are so many strange lines, metaphors, and similes thrown into intense life-or-death scenes that gave me straight up whiplash (I will never forget "my neck cracked like a crisp lobster"). The dialogue typically felt distant and unnatural, and the pace at which relationships developed was much the same. Perhaps the biggest issue to be raised is that this plot and its characters are just seriously lacking in foundation. The characters, although they definitely stand apart from one another, are notably underdeveloped and flat, including Jake. Each character felt like they were made of one (1) character trait. For Jake's friend group, for example: the anxious one, the confident one, and the adventurous one. You never really learn anything about any of their hopes, their dreams, how they feel about... anything. The scenes felt slapped on top of one another with flimsy bridges to connect them. Often, emotional repercussions didn't seem to carry over--Jake has his life threatened by a ghost, he runs downstairs to witness a school fight, and he isn't even shaken by the former. The plot twists were unpredictable not because they were clever, but because they were almost completely baseless and a little unhinged. Most plot points occurred because they could, not because they made sense. Like, suddenly, Jake can merge with another ghost to become more powerful (similarly to Sawyer), I guess? And to be fair, this is a super cool idea--it just needed more of an explanatory build-up to it. Why can he do this? Can all mediums do this? How did he do it without even knowing it was possible? There are a lot of other questions I have for this world pertaining to just about everything--some of which aren't necessarily questions that need to be answered, but I felt should have at least been offered. The romance was pretty cute, and although a little cringe-worthy at times (as high school romances oft tend to be), it definitely made me smile. It's also just nice to see a queer romance between Black boys in YA for once. In the end, this just wasn't my cup of tea, but it does have its moments. I can easily see this appealing more to a different audience, so if it sounds like something you might enjoy, or if you're just looking for a fun, fast-paced read without any life-changing revelations, consider checking it out!

★★✭✰✰/5 STARS (2.5)

TOO LONG; DIDN’T READ:

Pros: A cute romance, fast-paced, unique and intriguing, gory, and all around just an objectively fun time

Cons: Flat, one dimensional characters, baseless plot twists ("I can so I will"), reads like a low-budget superhero film, etc, etc.

[devondraws]

Megastar shippers are mad again :o!! big shocker

TW ed // abu$e // Megastar clearly // a$sault  // $elf H@rm

So it’s been made clear to me I was ‘exposed’ on Twitter for hating Megastar here's the main thing. none of yall expose me, I'm open about hating this toxic abusive ship, I don’t hide it and I never once have. You don’t need to censor my name in fact, I prefer you don't. I never said or would ever to say to a victim, I have no regard or sympathy for what they went through especially not as one myself through multiple abusers. What I DONT have sympathy for is disregarding other victims for your arguably coping strategy. I would take away anyone's abuse if I could, but when you choose to ‘cope’ by promoting, fet!shizing, and romanticizing the awful terrible experience that is abuse, I will tell you to your face the damage you do to others. 

I’ll start with the big argument, it’s a coping mechanism, but coping doesn’t mean good and it is VERY dangerous to think so. One of the many I coped with the abuse from my longest abuser was starving myself and not taking my medication. It made me feel strong, and feel like I was in total control, but that did not make it good. Especially being chronically ill, I was quite literally abusing MYSELF. When it comes to a much less physical way, I coped by making fun of others when I was around 13-15 especially ‘SJWs’ I made fun of kids that are autistic (knowing I was myself but not wanting to admit to that mentally) I made fun of people really who just weren’t like me, furries, band kids, scene kids. It was a lot of self-hatred and it did in a way heal me and do what I wanted it to do a coping strategy but it wasn’t okay, it wasn’t good, and importantly it was intensely unhealthy and worsed what I went through in the long run. Heres where Megastar shippers may be shocked I did megastar. Not long, but I did, around the age of 11-12. I idolized it, and I listened to the fandom really, I said it made me feel good and it made me happy hell I even said I wanted a ‘Megatron’ in my life. Boy did I get one. and because of the ship at that. I met a much older girl and we would DM on Insta, she sent things I shouldn’t have seen and audios I shouldn’t have heard. She said outright I was her ‘Starscream’ and that Megatron did ‘he had to’ to keep Starscream as his own and that he did what he did out of pure love and I ate it up. If being abused love I wanted to be abused, I just wanted to belong. But looking back the fandom's idea and admiration for megastar was very bad on my 11-year-old mind. KEEP IN MIND the show is not for adult audiences, I was a targeted consumer and I listened and learned from the adults, from the fandom, as any child does. So when I saw both the fet!ishzation of MLM and of abuse. I learned that to be normal. And from that, I learned that to be how I should COPE when I’m sad, I should be just like them because everyone says they are happy. I'm not the only, though other people's stories aren't my to tell, I can say they mention a$sault, physical abuse, mental, etc. I shouldn’t have to explain to mostly 15-25-year-olds, why that's not true and why just because you cope with something doesn’t make it healthy.

A second big ‘argument’ I see is, ‘fiction doesn’t affect reality’ ‘it’s fictional’ ‘its a cartoon’. I don’t understand this ‘debate’ because we have seen SO. MANY. TIMES. OF. FICTION. AFFECTING. (guess what) R E A L I T Y. Take, for example, finding Nemo and both the mass flushing of pet fish and also the mass abuse of Clownfish because every child wanted a ‘Nemo’. We see this again when we look into dinosaurs actually! In mainstream media the idea of dinosaurs being scaly, reptile-like, etc. that's not true and we’ve known it's not true! Dinos are ‘speculated’ to be feathered and colorful hence why they came to be BIRDS. But that idea, because we saw in movies, stuck. And most people who don’t research (and that's most people) only saw the fictional version, that version is what stands out in their minds, to them that is a dinosaur. After 101 Dalmatians so many, I mean SO MANY, kids wanted a Dalmatian. They are amazing dogs but the thing is they need a little more training, well parents didn’t want a real dog they wanted a movie dog, a cartoon dog, and so they got puppies. When those puppies grew and became ornery and no effort was put in place to train them, they were given away in mass. We KNOW fiction affects reality, we know human brains can’t process some fictional characters (especially in anime) as cartoons. We cry over fiction, we laugh over it, we learn from it, we put morals in it for kids, I don’t get why some people still argue it doesn’t happen and I’m not going to argue with ignorance. 

Essentially here's the points. You CAN cope with Megastar, but you shouldn’t, it provides no actual help it can actually soften you to abusers, it warps the idea of abuse, it romanticizes it, (a big part of it is YOAI which is fet!shizaton of MLM) and it NORMALIZES it by being commonly consumed and a large part of the Transformers, and TFP’s specifically, fandom. Fiction DOES affect reality what you do online, say online, show online, especially to minors, is heavily altering to a mindset and to people in correlation with what's being shown. You can hate me all you want, censor my name all you want, but no one is arguing besides ‘I like it and I said so’ you can say so, I can’t silence you and I wouldn’t, but when you neglect and turn down what is blatant problems and obvious issues in front of you? That is no problem of mine :)

You ship abuse and if you are gonna keep doing it, at least own up <3

(also you guys can ship abuse without it affecting reality but I can’t make a joke hrm hmm)

edit: for context for the last part I made a joke about STARSCREAM killing megastar shippers. I said killing yes but how is that death wish did yall really think i was like. bout to summon the guy I’m confused by you guys make it make sense.

Edit 2: in the future i WILL clarify jokes better ill put that slash thing i think its /j. To me and my friends it was and still is obvious but i understand the concern. Ive gotten multiple ACTUAL threats of being doxed, assulted, etc. so clarifying wasnt a need in my head and ill be better at doing so next time i totally get how to some people specially those with truama it could have been seen as scary and im sorry i didnt clarfiy as i should!

[trilies]

an argument for AO3

So I’m in a conversation with someone who is kind of in the “against AO3″ camp, and they asked me a couple of questions. Namely, who wouldn’t be uncomfortable with pedophilia? Isn’t it sketchy that a beta website is asking for so much money despite reaching its goals?

And my answer became so long... I figured it might as well become its own post. Please bear in mind that this is cut from a whole conversation.

But here it is.

------

No. It doesn't seem sketchy to me at all. Why would it? I know we make jokes about how much money tumblr has cost the various sites which purchase it like Yahoo, but there's some truth there: it's really expensive to host a website to thousands and thousands of people. It's why we see so many tumblr owners trying to shoehorn in ads or make people buy services, or why Photobucket tried to pull that truly atrocious bullshit a year or two back. Without image hosting capabilities (tumblr and photobucket's big thing), the strain isn't as huge.... but AO3 is MASSIVE. It is hosting literally thousands of accounts, millions of stories. That's massive on a server scale alone, ignoring all the other work they do. Yeah, it's in beta... but that's because it's trying to reach a goal of being as good a fanfic archive as they can be, and they don't believe they've reached that goal yet. Being in beta means they can better listen to their uses on shit like tagging systems and make those changes. Not to mention, again, they are INCREDIBLY transparent. If you are worried about where the money is going, you can go on the site and they have all their stuff up there.

As for the pedophilia subject matter.... Please give me a moment. because there's honestly a lot to say on that particular issue, if nothing else. This will take a while, so if you see this and there hasn't been a reply yet.... I'm still typing lmao.

To start with, of course people are uncomfortable about pedophilia. However, there are a lot of problems with how pedophilia is viewed or *used* as an accusation in the current fandom climate.

For example, in honestly EXTREMELY recent times, I was told I was "defending" pedophilia because I disagreed that a character (an immortal food gijinka) was "minor-coded" or "designed as an underage teenager". (As a note, an argument for this view was that the character's breasts were too small.) When I pointed out, hey, that's kind of a fucked up accusation to throw at a complete stranger, especially as I am a CSA survivor, I was told "You have to be lying about that, then, because a real CSA survivor would understand."

c o o l

That's just my personal experience that happened within a couple of months. Other people have talked about running into people who think that a character turning 18 means they're a pedophile for still dating a 17 year old. Or running into people who think a 40 year old dating someone in their 30s is pedophilic. Or believe that even SHIPPING characters who were not yet 18 was pedophilic if you yourself were over 18.

(Of course, you also have the kinds of people who try to use Moral Purity as a way to bash ships they don't like. I once saw someone try to claim that a popular mlm ship, A/B, was pedophilic because one half of the equation looked young.... when some other artists drew him... Of course, on the side, this person liked to also get angry that *their* favorite ship, a dude/chick ship composing of A/C, wasn't more popular. So. You know.)

So that's one half of the problem: the word "pedophile" being so warped that a lot of people now have no idea if the person using it has a genuine concern or if the accuser is trying to smear someone who doesn't ship the same thing. FFnet and Tumblr have gone with the "burn it all down" approach, which hasn't actually helped anyone and is, to boot, sloppily moderated. So we know from history, from experience in cases like mine, that it doesn't help in that area.

The other half of the problem is... How far is too far?

This is where "anti" culture begins to find similarities with the whole Warriors for Innocence thing. If you completely and blindly block an entire tag, or anyone associated with it, you have to ask: who are you hurting? Warriors for Innocence hurt actual rape victim, and queer folk, and a whole lot of others. Far as I can tell, anti culture is on the route to the same thing, because I have yet to see appropriate answers to a lot of issues.

If one says "anything with underage sex in it is bad and should be banned", what about fics that tackle it in a serious manner? The young adult novel "Speak" deals with rape of an underage girl and how she works through that mental trauma; are fics with stories equivalent to that allowed? Do fics with underage sex have to focus purely on how it is Horrible And Bad to be allowed? Does only a chapter have to be allowed? A paragraph? An author's note? A tag? Or are we allowed to never explore dark subject matter?

Is fic with underage content in it only horrible if it's someone over the age of eighteen who writes it? Can a teenager write smut (terribly written as it may likely be) between teenage characters? Can a teenager write smut between a teenage character and an adult character? For the record, i did in fact, over the summer, run into someone who said that teens/minors "shouldn't even know about NSFW", which is asinine to me, because Abstinence Only is a terrible thing to put in schools, and somehow worse in a way when you try to put that into effect in fandom. If the answer is 'yes', what are you going to do, demand to see people's birth certificates in fandom?

(As a note, I think this is a terrible message to put into fandom for teenagers because I believe it will inevitably lead to self hatred and a warped view of sex. If you make the extremely simplified black-and-white statement of "teens and sex should never go together ever in any way", that's going to mess up teens who are starting to experience arousal in their bodies. The message, whether intended or not, ends up as "NSFW things are bad, which means my brain which thought NSFW thoughts is bad, and my brain thought those thoughts because my body had these feelings". )

(This is bad for any average teenager. This will be especially worse to CSA and rape victims, along with queer youth who, in a lot of places, are still struggling with their bodies and/or feelings because the world is still pretty damn queerphobic.)

Speaking of CSA and rape victims, what about those of them who write/read underage ships or dark content as a way to cope with what happened or Just Because? That's a thing lots of us do, especially those of us who don't look like the Perfect Victims people can use as an excuse for whatever crusade they're waging. I've heard anti types go "Well, it's an unhealthy way to cope" or claims that CSA/rape victims who write such dark content are "just as bad as their abusers"... But are they psychiatrists/therapists? Are they the psychiatrists/therapists of *those specific people*? Will you moderate this kind of content by forcefully interrogating CSA/rape victims to out their trauma to a complete stranger? Will you demand to speak to their therapists? Over fanfic?

When I was a teenager, I wrote all sorts of stuff. I wrote dark dub-con fic, because I liked to explore those dark feelings in the process and the aftermath separate from myself. I wrote a fic with a fairly young teenage girl (what age was kh2 kairi? who even knows, I sure didn't) falling for a MUCH older man built like a brick shit house so that there was never any doubt to him being an adult, even giving him her first kiss, because they were my favorite characters, I wanted both of them to have a moment of happiness (that i promptly ruined but hey), and, *in this fic*, I knew it would be alright. I knew the girl would always be in control, she'd be the one making moves, that the guy was nonthreatening and kind and protect her and work alongside her.

(and then I began the process of killing him off in the next paragraph through him saving her life, but, like. Drama (tm), baby)

This was all good for me. At an age where I was young, vulnerable, and figuring out weird shit like arousal and romantic feelings, it was *invaluable* to have a space where I could explore all of that while relatively safe from actual danger, even if the stuff I wanted to explore was a little messed up. This whole thing against AO3 wouldn't have helped me, and I'm pretty sure it's not helping a lot of other people too.

There is an issue with underage people and sex stuff- not just in fandom but in culture at large. We have Hollywood dressing up young girl actresses in super slinky or revealing clothes. We have schools saying girls basically should never wear shorts, and capitalism fucking this up further by only selling SUPER SHORT shorters. We have media of all sorts giving us adults, whether in real actors or character design, in the roles of young people. (See: "how do you do, fellow kids") We should probably take more care about fandom spaces, so that people of all ages don't feel pressured to engage in sexual shit they're not 100% game for or into, or just have it shoved into their faces without consent. It's a complex issue... and it's not stuff that can just be 'banned' and have that fix it.

AO3 has on its plate a very complex problem that will, if we're all honest, never have a perfect answer. It has given us the best that can possibly be asked for. It obeys the law by not having actual child pornography on it (aka visual proof of actual real children, defined by us law as such), which is closest to "objective" we can get at the current stage in humanity and state of fandom. It has a very comprehensive and moderated tag system, so that people can post warnings along their fic so that people don't stumble onto shit they don't need to, and so that people can moderate their own reading experience to some degree.

If some people aren't comfortable with AO3, that's fine. However, most of us are getting annoyed not with those people, but with the people who just blindly say "AO3 supports child porn and is probably stealing money" (statement simplified for the purpose of this post). It shows an ignorance of the fandom history that lead us here, no understanding in either AO3's practices or how expensive it is to run a site, and no consideration for how complex this problem can really be. It would be great if this was a black and white issue, if there was an easy answer as just "banning" certain kinds of content... but there isn't. And that's where I am.

[badbookopinions]

Legendborn - Tracy Deonn

I liked this, though not as much as my 14-year-old sister, who is obsessed. 

Bree Matthews, mourning the death of her mother, is going to a pre-college program at the University of North Carolina. When a party gets attacked by monsters and members of the student body fight them back, Bree is embroiled in a world where the bloodlines of Arthurian legend have been charged to protect the world from evil. Searching for the truth behind her mother’s death and her own powers, Bree breaks into the good old boys club to find some answers.

If you have ever in your life had a strong opinion about the Mortal Instruments, positive or negative, you need to read this book. I’ve spent a lot of time reading about secret societies related to myth/religion and girls with undiscovered powers who become part of them. It’s a fantastic twist on the story to emphasize the privilege and power those organizations have - and then have a Black girl as the powerful person to join. It makes the story more relevant, the objections against her joining more interesting, and makes the organization itself more realistic. (I’m looking at you, perfect angel-blooded Shadowhunters who never do anything wrong even though we can see them doing it.)

Overall, this was a very strong start from an author I’m excited to see more of. I thought the characters were interesting, the concept fantastic, and the plot twist at the end was STUNNING. 

I especially loved the contrast between the white, Welsh-based magic practiced by the Order of the Round Table and the African-American Rootcraft passed from mother to daughter. I loved seeing the differences between their ideologies and practices, and can’t wait to see more.

That’s not to say this book was perfect, though - the plot especially suffered from clumsy pacing and tropes. Bree is always running away from important conversations or falling asleep or crying - often multiple times per chapter. The story takes place over a few weeks and in this time Bree and Nick are widely accepted to be in love (I hate insta-love as a trope). Monsters attack in a few hundred words at the end of chapters in ways that screw with the whole pacing. 

And I had some issues with Bree at the beginning - she seemed to exist largely as an audience stand-in with no real personality traits except that she was angry and had a goal. We saw her start to develop into an actual character nearer to the end of the book, though, and hopefully this continues.

Also in a university no one fucking studies at all. Which I hate. Unrealistic. 

Plot: tropes everywhere. Which, one one had, I thought it was really interesting to see how some of those deconstructed and related to a Black main character - the bigotry she faced was five times more interesting than people disapproving of Clary being ‘normal.’ The reveal of the secret society as elitist and super-white, which we all objectively knew but was so wonderful to see played out. On the other hand, it occasionally made the pacing a mess and introduced the insta-love I detest. And I think I sense a love triangle coming up (though my sister is convinced they’re best friends) that I’m really not looking forwards to - unless Deonn takes advantage of Sel’s bisexuality and makes the triangle work out in the non-coward’s way. But I’m definitely reading the second book, because, again, THAT PLOT TWIST. 

Characters: tropes here, too. Nick: good guy with a tragic backstory and a heart of gold. Sel: bad boy with a tragic backstory and a heart of gold (although a bad boy who doesn’t treat Bree like shit, so he has that going for him). Alice Chen: the supportive best friend with way too little page time. Bree herself: everygirl, complete with extra anger, witty commentary, and a secret power (so, wish fulfillment everygirl). The other pages: a rich set of dudes with a couple character traits each. This makes it sound worse than it was - the characters are largely likeable and their relationships are interesting. I think the mentors of this book were the characters I’d like to see expanded more on - Bree’s story progresses largely thanks to the Black women who mentor her through her powers, and every time they interacted with Bree it was delightful.

Setting: I would like to know more. This was very well-done. I’ve already mentioned how I loved the contrast between White Arthurian magic and Black Rootcraft, but I’m going to do it again because it was so cool. I think Deonn could take a few steps back on the excessive capitalization, though. 

Prose: occasionally artsy in a bad way. Especially at the start, before it really gets going with the plot, I was annoyed by Bree’s dramatic descriptions of grief and anger. She’s got this metaphorical other person inside her named After-Bree who she blames all of her anger on in a way I found really clumsy at the start. It hits its stride by the end, though, and when certain flashback chapters are told in flashes/verse, I ate it up instead of cringing like I probably would have at the beginning of the book.

Diversity rating: very very very good. It’s a story about the legacy of slavery and being Black in the South of the U.S., and it’s clear in the all-white order and the Black people Bree surrounds herself with (with the exception of Alice, who is Taiwanese). It’s also got a ton of queer rep in the background - in particular, someone nonbinary, a wlw and mlm couple, and Bree’s alternate love interest is bisexual.  

[jcmorrigan]

A while ago, I promised a Tales of Berseria headcanon dump, and this is all incredibly specific and based on my own reading, and I know no one else is going to agree with these exact interps or even the ships that built their foundation, but hey, here I go anyway

SEXUALITY/ROMANTIC ORIENTATION

Velvet Crowe: Lesbian. I first got an inkling she liked women in the prologue, when she was teasing around with Niko about “If you were a boy, I’d be in love.” True, she said it was a good thing neither was a boy at the time, but given how much the citizens of Aball drill ideas about marriage into Velvet’s head, it seems like a very heteronormative society and not that progressive. It’s a rural village in the middle of nowhere; what do you expect? Later on, Velvet would grieve heavily for Niko, in a way that I feel is reminiscent of a lover, and when it comes to Eleanor, she participates in “Women are mysterious creatures” rhetoric about her - the kind men usually say about women. Also has a fair share of soul-bonding moments with Magilou. I personally find more ship chemistry for her with any number of the women in ToB than any of the men.

Magilou: Bisexual. Seems to have an interest in Velvet. One particular victory screen has her joking with Phi about how if you can’t touch Velvet’s sword, everything else on her is fair game to touch. That’s wlw at least. However, her relationship with Bienfu of all things is where I get the impression she’s attracted to men - her talk of “punishing” him physically during nights at the inn read a little like innuendo to me. (Yeah, I just implied she has a sexual past with the Normin.) She also welcomes attention from all genders in general as to how amazing she is.

Eleanor Hume: WLW asexual. I don’t really have definitive subtext to point me toward ace, but I recall my own experience thinking I was morally upstanding because I wasn’t sexually active when my teenage peers were, and Eleanor, given her devotion to the Abbey and her pride in meeting its standards, just seems like she could have the same story: thinking she’s morally upstanding because she doesn’t act on any sexual urges, only to realize that’s because she doesn’t have them the way her teammates do. I already mentioned the subtext tension between Eleanor and Velvet - Velvet is the only person I can really pick out potential romantic chemistry for Eleanor with. Because of that, I’m not certain if she could also be attracted to men or not, as I don’t have any good samples.

Rokurou Rangetsu: MLM. I went back and forth between gay and bisexual for a while. For one, Rokurou has that scene when he talks about how women can break your heart worse than any danger in the field (and Eizen agrees), implying he’s had a past dating women. He also at least feigns interest in knowing about Velvet in the hot-spring bath. But this is underscored by a punchline of just wanting to make Phi sweat. Rokurou’s archetype of the heavy-drinking, optimistic idiot often comes paired with “womanizer,” but that wasn’t present here. And there was also the scene where he commented on how Velvet’s ragged outfit must be cold in Figahl only for her to scold him on ogling her - which I suppose can be read as him discreetly ogling her, but I see it more as him looking at Velvet in skimpy clothing and having the go-to reaction of how practical it must be in the weather. His chemistry with Eizen drips romantic to me, given how they share drinks and argue for fun.

Eizen: MLM. Same case as Rokurou - mentioned having his heart broken by women, and joined in on the Velvet-in-the-hot-spring discussion, but also expresses lots of affection toward Rokurou that was likely written to be platonic but comes across as very close. I’ve also seen the popularity of the Eizen/Zaveid ship, and given that Eizen told Zaveid his true name, which “can be seen as a confession of love,” there’s definitely subtext for that as well. So, again, whether gay or bi (or pan), I am not certain yet.

Laphicet: Bisexual. Obviously is attracted to the illusion of Edna and, to an extent, Velvet in the inn scene in Meirchio, but bonds with Videl intensely and devotes a major part of his life to making Videl’s dreams come true.

GENDER IDENTITY

Magilou: Transgender, identifies as very female. This was actually something I got an inkling on very early when some of her victory screens had her making jokes about her weapon in the way that some might view as phallic (I’m thinking especially of the one where Eleanor and Rokurou are talking about the benefits of short weapons, and Magilou says “Mine can be as long as I want!”). So I was of the mind that Magilou perhaps did possess a dick, and that actually got weirdly reinforced when she lifted her book-skirt to fluster Phi and he said “I wasn’t expecting that” - the joke is he was more interested in the books, but in the subtext, I’m reading that despite him definitely knowing what a cis woman’s nether regions would look like (Eleanor is his vessel), he didn’t expect something about Magilou’s lower half. So I was thinking either pre-op transgender or intersex (I’m not certain what types of gender reassignment surgery or artes would be available in Desolation). When all of a sudden, her backstory was revealed that as Legate Magillanica, she had a whole identity and a name that she erased (going so far as to say “Magillanica” is dead), as well as a background growing up in a conservative/religious household with Melchior, and, before that, being passed around to guardians who didn’t love her, leading to her feeling emotionally repressed. And all of a sudden it all fell into place: her story really parallels transitioning. So now I love to just complete the analogy. We know she was going by she/her pronouns at a young age in her traveling show, but we also know that she was exhibited at a “freak show” due to her high resonance. It’s possible she was also advertised as (insert a horrible slur about androgyny here). If she was already well-known going by she/her, Melchior would probably have wanted to keep that intact so as not to cause a stink in the Abbey. But, Melchior being the horrible person he is, he probably also thought Magilou was fit to stand as a legate where no other woman was because she was “male” to him. Anyway, by now, at least the other women on her team have seen her naked and have nothing negative to say on the subject - the party knows and they love her.

Laphicet: I actually see him as a little genderfluid based on a couple of throwaway things. For one, when the party discovers the “unicorn horn” (narwhal tusk), there’s a big discussion about how only a “maiden” pure of heart should be able to pick it up. Velvet offhandedly says Phi should pick it up anyway because it’s his quest. In the end, the myth was dismissed, but I rather like the thought that Phi sometimes identifies more female and therefore could fill the bill of being a maiden pure of heart. His/her personality also influences Innominat, whose outfit of choice is androgynous as far as gender-specific fashion conventions go (and also really spiffy). Most days, Phi is male, but some days, not as much. With his status at game’s end, it also feels a little more fitting to say that such a guardian of the world should be less adhered to one side of the binary.

NEURODIVERGENCE

Eleanor Hume: OCD and anxiety. It’s outright mentioned how she takes responsibility and guilt for everything, even things that have nothing to do with her and aren’t her fault - a telltale marker of OCD. She’s also introduced as being emotional and teased for being a “crybaby,” showing that ordinary situations can easily push her over the edge. I’m only talking main party, else Kamoana would be her own entry, but Kamoana canonically has panic attacks that manifest as fevers according to Mahina’s note, and can be “cured” with placebos. Eleanor’s arc is linked to Kamoana throughout, and the moment where this is revealed is one in which Eleanor is outlining her similarities to Kamoana and how that should mean Kamoana would resent her. I feel like this draws a pretty blatant parallel between Kamoana’s rampant anxiety and Eleanor’s, and how Eleanor jumped to the worst-case scenario only to be shown that the child she worries about has something very big in common with her that might actually be a bridge between them rather than a wall.

Eizen: Autistic. Infodumping is a major character trait of his, and there’s an entire skit dedicated to talking about how “picky” he is about his routine, needing to wear his clothing in specific ways and dock at the same place every time in Port Zekson.

[projectjasper]

Theory of Love: Review (& General Info)

Summary: Third is a film major, who’s been in love with his best friend Khai since the very first day of university. The problem is, Khai has a rule - he doesn’t date friends. And to make matters worse, he is a terrible player, who’s dated girls from each faculty. Will Third give up on pursuing Khai? Love him from afar? Or will something entirely unexpected happen? (Trailer)

Couples: Two mlm couples - one main, one background.

Running Time: 12 episodes - around 53 minutes each - 10,5 hours in total

Cast (& their Instagram pages): Gun Atthaphan (Third), Off Jumpol (Khai), White Nawat (Two), Mike Chinnarat (Bone), Earth Pirapat (An), Neen Suwanamas (Lyn), Sara Legge (Paan), Foei Patara (Chen), [more].

Where to watch? YouTube

Related Shows: None

My Review:

Rating: 5.5/10

Short review: Considering how I didn’t connect with some of the actors, most of the characters and pretty much all relationships, as well as with the plot overall, I found this BL kind of boring and even annoying at times. There is enough problematic moments here and there, but I wouldn’t say they’re necessarily critical. This is possibly my most subjective review to date, because most things I don’t like about this show just don’t fit me personally. And since it’s not that bad and I know that a lot of people love it, maybe you will too. So at the end of the day, I don’t recommend it, but I’m not saying you should be necessarily staying away from it either. Though, as usual, it’s obviously your own decision to make.

Extended review (under the cut):

Theory of Love is one of those BLs that everyone seems to love. It’s on everyone’s list of favorite BLs of all time, and every character favorites list features at least one person from TOL. Which is why I feel weird about not liking it.

The thing is though, I don’t hate it. I think it’s kind of alright and at times really annoying and problematic, but that’s about it. Mostly, I just don’t care about it. Like at all. And I’m gonna talk about why.

So, the cast of TOL is stellar, in my personal opinion. At least, at face value it is. There’s extremely popular familiar faces, like Off, Gun, Earth, White and Neen. New faces that truly captivated me right away, like Sara, Foei and especially Mike. And, most of them lived up to my expectations. Off is still good, Earth is still as perfect at subtle acting as he’s always been (which is especially helpful this time around), everyone is just truly great. Well, with one exception. And I should’ve probably mentioned this last, because he is generally accepted as one of the best actors not only in GMM, but in the BL industry in general. But, I did not believe Gun at all. And I want to mention that it’s the first time I don’t believe Gun like this. I don’t know what happened in TOL (besides, I’m sure lots of people will disagree with me), but to my mind he wasn’t real as Third at all. I don’t see him being in love with Khai. He says that he is and everything he does confirms it (like literally everything – cute moments and thoughts and looks, all the puzzle pieces are there), but I just don’t see it. And he never really manages to make me feel anything. He cries and breaks down and has a generally terrible time, and with my head I understand that this is all extremely said, but my heart stays still – I don’t feel a thing. And maybe that’s why I never managed to like TOL that much – because I am completely disconnected with the lead. But it is what it is, you know.

The characters in this show once again make me feel conflicted. Third’s personality is far more sarcastic and blunt than other BL mains’ – and I do like that. Khai, on the other hand, was first unlikable to me and like really annoying, and then after feeling a little bad for him closer to the end, my pity sort of cancelled out my hate and they met in the middle, making me just not care for him at all. They do try to give background characters a little more depth just by having one-two conversations with them alone, but it feels kind of forced – like they knew they needed to make them more real, but they did it so mechanically that they ended up being even more fake. Thus, the most memorable and likable characters to me ended up being the ones we know the least about – An and Chen.

The friendships in this drama are good and bad all at the same time. I don’t think I have to mention that Khai is a terrible friend, but it’s meant to be that way, so that was handled perfectly. I was never really sure why anyone was friends with him in the first place (or at least anyone who isn’t Third, because love is blind), but that happens sometimes – we get stuck with shitty people, so whatever. I can see how that could happen. Otherwise, friendship in TOL is kind of a one-way train. It’s a great modern train with all luxuries, but it only goes one way. What I mean by that is all background characters like Two, Bone, An and Chen are amazing friends to Khai and/or Third. Their relationship is truly detailed, they apologize, help, notice things, talk - just do things friends do. But, Khai and Third don’t return the favor. And I could understand why that happens with someone like Chen or even An – they aren’t really POV characters in any instance in the show. But, Bone and Two have their own real storylines and things happening in their lives, which the viewer follows and is invested in. But Khai and Third don’t know about them, because they just never even ask how their friends are doing. Which sucks.

The romantic relationships in this show are (mostly) a mess. Khai and Third’s “bond” is nowhere near being profound – it’s toxic, damaging and disappointing. At the end they do get together and “Yay!” I guess, but I don’t see them truly resolving their issues (or realistically staying together for long). For example, Third clearly still doesn’t trust Khai and it’s mentioned for the drama, but then it’s never truly resolved. Bone is thrust into this weird thing with his professor – and thank gods he didn’t end up with her, but it was still really unnecessary in my opinion. An and Two are sort of a beam of light in this whole relationship mess. Overall, they have a pretty good storyline – its complicated enough and simple enough in all the right places. There are things that are kind of related to An and Two that kind of make me mad – for example, the way Two tries approaching Lyn. But, mostly it’s good. I especially liked how their connection was subtly established from the very beginning – and looking back at it (or rewatching it), you can see some clear signs.

The overall plot is kind of good. It can be funny and even self-aware at times, though there are a lot of unrealistic, stupid, nonsensical things there as well. The only real specific criticism I have is that background storylines don’t seem to exist outside of background storylines. There is a lot of examples with AnTwo specifically. The KhaiThird and AnTwo plots are sort of intertwined, because An is Third’s friend, as well as Khai’s supposed rival (because everyone thinks An is approaching Third), and obviously Two is Khai and Third’s friend, who is directly involved in their relationship. So, there are moments when – for example – Khai is jealous of Third and An, Two is there (at the time, already realizing he feels something for An, or that he is at least important to him), but he is completely unfazed, as if this doesn’t have anything to do with him at all. Which, even if he was approaching it all “maturely” or trying to hide his real feelings, there would still be some sort of minor reaction. And there’s just none.

The theme of someone confidently believing in something and it not being true is present multiple times in this show. And usually, when a story does that, it’s quite complicated. All the facts are carefully established so that the viewer believes the lie, and then when the truth is revealed, the viewer looks back on the story and sees all the clear clues to the truth that were given, as well as just how and why they’ve misinterpreted every detail that led them to believe the lie. This all is very hard work that requires some smart, careful planning. Which TOL didn’t do. An truly seems to be into Third and there is no other way to interpret some of the things he does with him, and Khai truly does act really flirty with Third in the beginning, which can only be interpreted as him trying to approach Third, which was not true at the time. (Even if he subconsciously liked him, that was legit planned flirting – not subtle things that could reveal his true feelings). It’s clear that this is all done for the drama with all disregard to why this trope is usually used. And there is many moments where something really nonsensical and completely inexplicable happens just to further the drama. TOL is drenched in plotlines like that – and there is nothing I hate more than unnecessary drama.

The movie theme is present throughout the whole show – both directly and indirectly. They do connect everything with movies quite well, and the cinematography choices are more meaningful than they usually are. The way shots are set up, the subtle details that are hidden in camera work and setting specifically – all of it is quite artistic and careful, which makes me think it was done specifically because of the relating themes of movie making in the show itself. The only thing I didn’t really like was how much the things that were happening was compared to “how as if it was all just a movie”. It was ironic the first couple of times, but stupid and repetitive the next hundred.

LGBTQ+ issues aren’t really touched upon in the show. But, when they kind of are – it ain’t it chief. Khai’s friend telling him he couldn’t possibly imagine “a dude like him being into another dude”, Khai feeling uncomfortable with imagining a date with Third similar to the ones he takes his girlfriends to, and the ever present intimacy problem, which mostly belongs to AnTwo here (boyfriends kiss, GMM – they do). Now in certain context or with some explanation, these might’ve been better, but there is no good context or explanation here – it’s just Bad.

There’s quite a few other problematic moments in this show. A lot of them are connected with Khai and Third. For example, Khai physically pins Third down when he’s trying to talk to him, while Third cries and screams to let him go. After receiving a “no” over and over again, Khai asks Third to be his boyfriend once again – this time in a public place, making a big deal out of it, with everyone chanting “yes”. Khai also admits that he sees all the girls he’s with as an object – which in the context is positioned against Third, who he sees as a person. It’s made to look romantic and special, but it’s just some kind of a new fucked up version of “you’re not like other girls”. Also, and this is slightly less serious but very annoying to me, Bone’s new girlfriend was introduced at the very end of the series. And by introduced, I mean “Here’s a girl, she’s Bone’s girl” – and that’s the entirety of the introduction. It has no value or meaning to the viewer and seems to send a message that Bone’s story could only have a happy ending, if he ended up in a relationship as well, which is obviously a shitty fucking message. I would’ve preferred him staying single.

Finally, talking about some small details that caught my attention. The main quartet is a very stereotypical teen movie gang, but I think that’s intentional and it does fit well. They’re also third and forth years, which is kind of unusual for BLs, so that’s pretty cool. I do love the style – I want all their outfits and hairstyles like right now. The sound choices are not always the best, but the music can be pretty nice. There’s quite a few metaphors here and there – and they’re actually good. But, there’s not nearly enough attention to detail sometimes. The kisses are really good – no doubt about that here. And, surprisingly, they address the fact that kissing someone out of the blue is not ok multiple times, which is really great (and – let’s be fair – pretty unexpected, which makes it even better).

Overall, as I’ve said before, I don’t really hate this show. Despite criticizing it, I mostly just don’t care for it. It isn’t a BL I would recommend to someone, but if I was actually asked, if someone should watch this specific BL – I would say “Sure, why not”. It’s not that bad and I know that a lot of people love it, so maybe you will too. So at the end of the day, I don’t recommend it, but I’m not saying you should be necessarily staying away from it either. Though, as usual, it’s obviously your own decision to make.