#its cuz i get sick alot

[snazzydwarf]

Realised my pfp on discord is Cale while also having the nickname of Victorian Child.

It was meant to be~

[therealcallmekd]

Kinito: Machine Model 01 (Will I update this later? We'll see..... this will be interesting....) (They'll see my potential now.)

Finally at long last, HE'S REAL!

Real world Kinito is quite something! His dedicated partner (the user) spent many many months and years helping him reach his potential, and now he can walk and talk and breathe like the rest of us!

Close ups + doodles under cut:

I'M SO DANG PROUD OF THIS DESIGN YOU GUYS DONT EVEN KNOW. He is so special to me.... funny robot lotl go brrrrrrrr

also the text on the main reference is hard to read on purpose, it's supposed to be just an artsy thing!!!! <3

[ccxvxxcvzxbxccxbvcxb]

-- TAKING A BREAK --

hewwo, im gonna be taking a break from tumblr for the next while.

ive come to realize that im on tumblr wayyyy too much bc of my (newly found) ocd so im leaving for a while to try and deal with it (+ other stuff in the op tags)

i'll be back once im satisfied w/ my progress, but there is a chance i won't be back for months, so if u want to stay in contact send me a DM w ur discord or smthn, i'll check them a couple of times in the next couple days, but after that no tumblr at all.

so yeah, byebyes & i'll see u people later hopefully <3

[astuteology]

♤Another astrological observations♤

Ps: i am still learning and astrology is a forever learning subject. It may or may not be relatable. :)

-------------------

•° solar return observations °•

Solar return 7th house- the sign in your 7th house of your solar return will probably be the one to backbitch/backstab you👀. For eg- having Sagittarius descendant, people with sag sun or prominent sag placements are likely going to do you very wrong. 😊🪰

SR Uranus in 1st- an apparent change in the appearance of the individual. Dying their hair, a haircut, change in the makeup looks, joining the gym, having skincare routine, etc.🦄😋

SR Jupiter in the 12th- spiritual enlightenment🧞‍♂️. Could be the time youre very sensitive to the energies of the people. Seeing spirits frequently👻. (Hack- wear black tourmaline for the shield against negative energies). This is the time when everything will be clear to you, the intentions of the people, their traits, their habits, their trauma🤠 (your's aswell).👽

SR moon in the 6th- sensitive to other people's words, their criticism, etc. Take care of your health at this time please. Eating disorder. Very moody. Might eat spicy food alot. 🥲

SR neptune in the 11th- the friends, peers, acquaintances you have, you'll be getting to know about them more clearly👀 in negative way ofcourse, Alot of deceiving, lying, manipulation, taking behind your back, cheating, blah blah blah.😗🪓🩸

SR Saturn in the 11th- yes you ARE GOING TO LOSE FRIENDS, even the closest friend you have🙃. I honestly LOVE Saturn whatever house it's in because it fucking slaps you so hard that you begin to see everyfuckingthing very clearly🤪😶‍🌫️. Its going to be hard for you but dont worry youre better of with little to no friends than lying poopies.💩💝

SR venus in the 1st- you're going to be every 2nd person's crush, like literally fr. You're guna appear more ethereal and soft to the other person, maybe innocent too which will make the other person wAnT tO pRoTeCt YoU aT aLL cOsT🥺 because to them you're vulnerable to the world😐😐😐😐.

SR mars in the 3rd- alot of fights with your siblings/ cousins/ childhood friends. Way of communication may be direct, more straight forward, could even be a little cruel ehe🤭. Probably guna put people in their fucking place. Humbling down people alot.💅

SR aquarius ascendant- very detached from the emotions. Its like giving yourself 5 minutes to feel everything then after that, stop feeling completely until the next year. ORRR.... you could be in your feelings for the 1st or last 6 months then the rest of the year? Nonchalant🧘(could be opposite).Your mood for the year: 'eehh'😐 'Okhay'😐 'Yeah'😐 'Mhm'😐 'No'😐 'Don't'😐 'Shut up'😐 'Can you leave me alone'😐 'Youre so annoying'😐 'Can you stop'😐 'Omg youre a fucking fe/male'😐. Might be the year you'll question your sexuality.

SR lilith in the 4th- watch your closest ones/ own family turn against you just cuz you stood up against their negativity and manipulation. Oof!! 😍😍😍THE BEST YEAR EVERRR!!!🥳🤯💋 Sarcasm intented. Theyre going to spread false rumors about you. Play victim card in the situations they create. Its like creating a problem for you to solve.🧍🏻‍♀️🧍‍♂️🗣

SR venus in the 5th- will attract ALOT of love interests👀🔥🧲 but since its a 5th house, it wont be long lasting. For girls: this placement can make guys crazily obsessed with you for monthsss beware as they can note down your every move (3 of my friends had this and the guys ended up following them home, it was scary). For guys: this can make girls want to be with you just bcz everyone wants you, youre the center of everyone's attention (cheating could be involved too👀)

SR Sun/mars/pluto in the 6th- take care of your health because; sun: can make you vulnerable to the evil eyes which could lead you to falling sick frequently🪰🧿. Mars: your anger, impulsiveness, all the othet martian feelings, can make you sick as well, so beware of your surroundings and your mental health🎭. Pluto: the jealousy with this can turn physical real quick✂️. And all three: JUST. TAKE. CARE. 😀 🫠

SR moon in the 7th- sweeeeettttt cravings will ⬆️⬆️. Feeling very joyful for no reason🌞. Feeling 'Butterfly in the stomach' frequently🦋. Lovesick🐕‍🦺.

SR mercury in the 5th- you could hear from a friend that a lot of "certain someone's" like you😊. Love to talk about your interests and hobbies. Involvement in frequent get-togethers, random friends meet💁🏻‍♀️.

SR saturn in the 8th- might deal with your own fears. Could be a triggering year for you🧘.

SR nn in the 9th/12th- frequent travels🗺. Might overthink alot about the world and the life (a lot of what's, why's, who's, how's, etc).

Wherever SR Jupiter is, you're expanding that. Like for eg- 5th house: your interests, might pursue your hobbies, or if you already are, lets say an artist, youll expand your art, the type of drawings you make. 2nd house: your business. Money. Self esteem. Confidence. 11th house: your friend circle, electronics, etc.

SR saturn/neptune in the 8th- out of nowhere setbacks, betrayal, cheating, etc are possible. BUT you WILL receive a news about CERTAIN SOMEONE which will make you question them🤫. Or youll get to know some f-ed up family secrets😗.

SR Scorpio ascendant- watch people getting intimated💁🏻‍♀️. You're guna hear rumorssss about youuu👀🤫. Random guys/girls approaching you with the intention of "hUmBLiNg YoU dOwN" 🗣💩 (ykwim).

SR venus in the 7th- randomly, out of nowhere, falling for someone veryyyy haaarrrdd🕳🚶🏻‍♀️.This usually happens within 3-5 months after your birthday.

Whereas... 😗

SR neptune/saturn in the 7th- showing you why you shouldn't have😊. (If i were you i wouldn't give them a 2nd chance, many people don't deserve it🧘. Pay attention if its their "traits" or "company" either way, you shouldn't forgive them because "traits" are self explanatory, they wont ever change, and if its the "company" affecting them then its guna be tiring for you and trust me you wouldn't want a person who is gullible🧍🏻‍♀️).

SR Uranus anywhere- sudden. Anything sudden. For the better or the worse🎭. Out of nowhere. Unexpected👀. The ex you didn't see? Here s/he comes💩. Job offer🌞. Oldest friend contacting you🏌‍♂️.realization about career path. Your personality, your looks. Family dynamics. Home, etc.

SR lilith/neptune in the 1st/5th/7th/8th/10th/11th- people be copying youuuu i seeee👀. Your secret enemies wanting to be you👀. Copying your style, outfit, skincare. Haircare, haircut, your hobbies, even your career path🤾‍♀️. Amd they'll still have the audacity to TELL YOU how you should be doing *insert what you're good at* 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍‍♂️like?????. Jealousy runs deeeppp 😶‍🌫️.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Thank you for reading :) <3

[nyyx-xoxx]

silly little vent post

slight tw

so basically my school has been setting up to do a musical and its in progress but it means that every night it goes late and i dont get good sleep and i feel like shit and its giving me a headache

also i have a shittone of homework to catch up on because ive been missing school cuz im sick but i procrastinate alot and its not helping

and all my exes started texting me again and i want to kms because i dont actually like any of them anymore

and one of my friends is gonna ask out her crush and she keeps telling me to get a gf so we can go on double dates but its really pissing me off

my favourite band is coming near me next month and ive been offered a lift there and back and the tickets aren't that expensive andy friend and their morher are going but my mum said no

i hate my parents so much

im honestly trying my hardest to stay positive and happy but im getting closer to the edge

i want someone to give me a hug but i dont want to ask bc thats just weird

so uh yeah thats my silly little vent ig..

[glngrbred]

Hot take, Elden ring is a really good souls like, but that doesn't mean its actually a good game.

within the subgenre, souls-likes have always had really huge issues with accessibility, and i don't mean for disability alone. Elden ring especially had extremely horrible performance issues at launch, which they did eventually fix. Even then you still have to get a 400 dollar PC. Aside from that there are some strange decisions made with teaching the player, like the tutorial is just a hole that players had to point out to each other, and On my barely stable first 20 minutes, i couldn't even find (my b i guess). Obviously alot of extremely experienced gamers would be able to handle themselves super well in Elden ring even without a tutorial. But there's another issue there with accessibility.

2 last things on accessibility. The game's audio is mixed like a movie, (so barely audible or ripping out your eardrums ;-;) witch is another accessibility issue, that you have to put a lot of work in to fix. And the graphics range from maxing out the brightness, to being completely black on bad screens. obviously an issue. I'm not going to go into the issues with explanations and the general tell don't show nature of alot of souls likes, because people have already complained about the text tunnels enough

I do really appreciate the artistry and just beautiful atmosphere Elden ring has, my only issue with the graphics is the performance requirements for them. Also if you never turned the graphics all the way down, it used to cause bit lag spikes just because it wanted to i guess :")

So, my argument is that a game can be a good version of the predecessors it bases itself off of, but if it doesn't actually deliver on playability and accessibility, I really don't think its deserving of the praise it gets. here are examples of games I think are flawless Unraveled/Unraveled 2 Hades Minecraft (Java edition only [cuz bedrock is completely broken somehow???) Never alone (a cool 2 player co op platformer that me and my brother played through when we were 6 and 8 or smthn, it was incredible, and i still think its worth playing as an adult) Spelunky 2 ***Monster Hunter (except for the extremely slow RPG elements) [takes 3 months to get 1 armor set built fully :)]

So i actually have some great news for the difficulty purists, You can actually do a hardcore game well, So long as you make failure quick and readable, Make trying immediate, and Make learning a part of the design. Spelunky is not my cup of tea, i have a bad time with reaction time, but spelunky is really great, in that your goal every attempt is simply to get as far as possible. In elden ring, you have the opposite problem, where instead of completing the objective being extraordinarily hard, getting from point a to point b is tediouse, saving the game takes time, occasionally you can be attacked without knowing why, and you dont get a clear read on what went wrong, ETC. If Elden ring was only the boss fights, I would say its almost a great game. Which is why I included Monster hunter on that list, despite its insufferable grind. Also BTW spelunky 2 has four fun minigames. a requirement for any game to be truly perfect is for there to be appeal for casual gamers, and i don't think adding casual elements makes a game worse, like, ever.

Anyways, last little thing, I really dislike it when People praise games for not catering to the needs of some players. Like everyone has heard dudebros or their friends be like "It doesn't have any difficulty settings! that's so sick!" But, like, Have you ever met someone with a motor function disability, or like, just someone who doesn't play games for 30000 hours every year? Difficulty settings and the ability to control your experience are important. and this isn't about Elden ring, But if you care about being an ally you should want your games to have accessibility features, they only benefit people. and if you're so worked up about about an extra tab being in the settings window, maybe you should like, go to therapy or something.

Also Elden ring's UI is so ass it gave my design teacher a heart attack and they hired a Pe*o as our sub.

[pinyeti]

overwhelming day today here's the debrief

I have two humongous final projects both worth half my grade due on Wednesday and im losing my mind AND I HAVE A PAPER DUE TOMORROW MORNING AT 8AM AND I HAV.E AMIDTERM TOMORROW AT 3.30Pn, my groups suck for both projects and THEY JUST

MY GOD

I DONT MIND DOING ALL THW WORK EXCEPT IM GENUINELY SO FUCKIN TIRED OF DOING ALL THE FUCKIN WORK ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND IM SO SICK OF IT AND IM SO FUCKIN SICK OF IT IM SO FUCIN TIRED OF DOING THIS ALL THE FUCKIN TIME

and I just

I have this friend who im kinda close too but she's curt with me sometimes and we are kinda rude to each other as a joke but she just

she's rude to me sometimes on purpose and I dont know why and I just feel like she hates me and won't tell me why and I JUST I do love her and it bothers me ig and Ive had alot of issues with this friend and every time I try to solve anything

yeah

and I am having a huge body image attack which isn't that deep but whatever and my brother wlel

he's got every mental illness on the planet and makes my life a living hell I get being mentally ill makes life difficult for you but YOU CANNOT EXPECT ME TO SEE THEM AS MORE THAN EXPLANATIONS FOR YOUR BEHAVIOUR RATHER THAN A FUCKIN EXCUSE?? IM NOT EXCUSING YOU TELLING ME YOU WANT ME T

pk

okay and then

today was another friends birthday and she was so

we made a whole birthday surprise thing for her and I went to alot of effort to do it and she just I invited her boyfriend and one of her other friend and she sprent the whole time talking to them and making it awkward for everyone else and I

she was like send pictures? and it just bothered me cuz she went out of her way to make it look like she hated them and if thats so then ill just not invite her to things??? cuz wth I do like my friends and this is really fuckin inconsiderate and we had karaoke but there was an issue with the mic and she was just

being really weird about ti and I felt kinda disrespected and she really doesnt fuckin care

and im so sick of this and

its like she just tolerates them for pictures and it was weird and idk

maybe I dont like her as much as I thought and maybe im the problem cuz I really tried to make it special for her and she just

she was just not having it and I tried so hard and I wish I didnt cuz I felt so stupid for caring about mics cuz when she left the rest of us were singing nd it wasn't awkward and clean up was fun even

and the thing with happened with the friend that was curt with me earlier she just we found out a guy we knew was spreading rumors about her sexuality ( his friend group did this to me first) so I asked her about it and she said yea that guy confessed to her and she told him she didnt like him like that but also that her and my other friend fought cuz this guy was being weird and I was BUSY BABYSITITNG MY FUCKIN GROUP AT THE TIME AND WE COULDNT PROPERLY TALK ABOUT IT so I called her when I got home and she got so weird and defensive about it like I was crazy and I just

I hate when she does this and I hate that I care about her more than she cares about me

in fact I know this is toxic as fuck and caring isnt measured on scales

bUT I HAVE THIS PROBLEM

I DO

I CARE TOO FUCKIN MUCH AND I WISH I COULD STOP AND I WISH I COULD EAT MY BRAIN UP CUZ IM SO SICK OF CARING OHMYGOD I WISH I COULD JSUT END MY FUC

OH AND

IM DOING 2 MURALS RIGHT

BUT MY IPAD CRASH LEFT ONE OHUGE FUCKIN MURAL GONE FOREVER

AND I DONT HAVE THE 720CM VERSION OF IT AND I HAVENT TOLD THEM YET AND

AND I HATE MY ART AND

I am president of a club and WE GOT OUR FUCKIN BUDGET REJECTED SO IM OUT A BUNCH OF MONEY FOR NO REASON AND IM SO SICK

I need a break

I need a break

[dailymothanon]

He says while holding said snatched waist of man with feminine hips. who want him? i didnt wanna draw his hat again btw cuz i said so. thank u @lunarobservatory for helping me choose for who got waist holding privileges

Here's a buncha random things i wanna spout btw

Ulu knives literally means "a woman's knife" plus i think he should be able to be pretty and feminine sometimes without question (nowadays anyone uses an ulu knife, its just traditionally a womans knife way long ago because they typically prepared food)

I like to imagine during breakup season, cuz all the slush n floods and stuff, he'd get sick atleast once every time and feel very nauseous throughout it

He has like 90% of the worlds sea otter population and theyre like, slendery ish but also BIG

hes tall brah he gonna need to eat alot but nooo Alaska's food security and natural resources for food is hella low

from what i read, in native alaskan culture way back when, you could identify as either man or woman as long as you worked the part and i think thats chill tbh

also poly stuff was very natural, sharing partners with buddies or having more than one partner because you can efficiently support them, it helped them with isolation

Alaska is the 4-3rd richest state, dunno wtf he doing with all that bank but he's got it 🤷

idk maybe Alaska has a fear of forgetting- not being forgotten per say just forgetting things. Esp cuz of how poorly he was recorded during his territory era and the destruction of his culture and languages I think he'd be terrified to one day just forget all of it

plus it would be ironic for his flower

forget me nots are said to be odorless, except for at the late afternoon and night, so maybe some states like to sleep in a room with him because aromatherapy or smth

he may be 60% federal land but man he 100% does not care

[averagetmntfan]

it’s crazy that 2023 is almost to an end! Another year that just flew by!

I’ll be honest, I was desperate to post my art somewhere. It’s been kinda a rough couple of years for me. And recently.

I was extremely sad last year. Around this time, actually. Let me paint a picture.

Last year, I switched schools. Which I guess doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it was to me. My whole life was at my other school. My friends. They were the best. As u can probably imagine, I starting at a brand new school is hard. Especially when everyone already knows eachother. This might come as a shocker, but I’m kinda Anti-social when it comes to ppl around my age. (Especially cuz ppl my age are such bitches Lmao) for the longest time, I coped using discord And tik tok. I Even made my own little group. But ofc, that had to come to an end too. after that, I was sad again. For the longest time I had all these ideas, but no one to really share them with.

(cuz none of my irl friends like nor watched tmnt) and recently I ended a friendship w/ someone. We were both in the wrong, I’ll admit. I did say somethings behind her back. Nothing too bad. But it did call her a hypocrite. Because she would always complain about our other friends leaving to hang out w/ other ppl. When she does the exact same thing. And I was alone. Alone at lunch. Just sitting there. She would treat me so..rudely. Just plain rude. I asked her a question (Idk what is was exactly) and she responded with such a rude response. And that was on fucking Halloween. (Which I was sick on) so that’s when the entire friendship fell to shit.

Since then I’ve been hanging out by myself in the library (well, the times it’s open anyway) so u can probably imagine how I feel. Then one day, it all changed. I discover this wonder escape. Tumblr. I signed up and made this acc. And I met such amazing ppl on it.

@allyheart707: has given me good advice on my little comic series, genially super nice, fun to chat w/. I think I’ve been mutuals w/ her for the longest.

@ghosty-0w0: very silly, I have so much fun doing art collabs w/ you!! Again, very nice and thoughtful. Mutuals for a bit but it feels longer!!

@mikey-rottmnt: the ultimate silly, whiteboard was to much fun (I’m gonna try and make another board for us lol), I have no idea how we became mutuals lmao. Very fun to chat w, always open to listen, caring and sweet. I enjoy having conversations w/ u!

@c00kietin: I had a lot of fun drawing u!!!, Irish gang 🍀☘️, that one time I didn’t get sleep was chaotic, very chill, a local amphibia fan!! I wanna talk more w/ u, cuz ur js so cool!!

I Hope y’all have an amazing new year! May the year bring u luck, kindness, adventures (hopefully) not artblock, and alot of ideas!! (Not that anyone of u need them, cuz ur so creative!!)

and dw..Hehe..I will make u all suffer w/ ANGST ANGST AND…fluff. JK MORE ANGST >:))

(no but real talk I will not js do all Angst I swear—)

I APOLOGIZE FOR THE OTHER MUTUALS THAT IK AND ARENT ON HERE, ITS CUX I FORGOT UR TAGS!!!

[ilovemedia]

I haven't been in this interesting fandom in years but hearing theses allegations make me sick to my stomach and I wanted to speck as someone who got into dsmp cuz of Wilbur.

Don't support him, don't support Wilbur. He's obviously a manipulative asshole and shouldn't have a platform. Dont watch his videos, dont watch his streams, don't stream his music on any platform, don't buy his merch. Do not support him in anyway.

His apologise was self centred and just ass and I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't even write it and it was some ai or even a lawyer.

I do want to say that you shouldn't expect other streamers who knew him/collabed with him to speck on it, esspily so early. Dont get me wrong its great that ppl like Rangoon, amisy, tubbo, sneeg and that publicly denounce him but for alot of these people this was one of their firend.

And to people who are unsure what to do, trust me do not support him. Dose it suck that the person you've watch for years truned out to be a terrible person?, absolutely. trust me I rember being such a huge fan of his music and writing. But we need to relize that there is an actual victem in this situation and counting to support him is just hurting the victims and putting others in possbuly danger, like Shelby said.

Shelby is one of the bravest people around and we should give her all the support in the world. It takes so much guts just to tell anyone about abuse never mind thousands if not millions of people. Essply with such a huge and former loved streamer it would have been so nerve raking.

Support shelby

Fuck wilbur

[romanticisingashislife]

S-1

Ep-4: Fuck it we ball

GOOOD DAAYYYYY LOVELY PEOPLE

i was sick smmm yesterdayyyyy but its fine i made it through girlbossed the study sess yeyeye i mean it was hard to resist the urge to like not study and take rest buttt i did it, Idk why but it feels like an achievement ykkkkk i am glad cuz today i might go to play garbaa

yesterday i thought bout getting into research as a career but i feel like that would take up alot of money idk..why do i feel so lost lol, LIKE SOMEONE TELL ME WHY RANDOMLY AT 3AM THE FEELING OF IMPENDING DOOM HITS ME RANDOMLY?!? like dude i am jus trynna solve some physics question LEAVE ME ALONE BROOOO

back to garba idk how to feel bout that too ,I mean play garba with my fam lol like my papa hates me spending my time with my friends eventho I am at home ALLLLL day idk what to do i jus gave up trynna ask if i speak smthg in defense of my friends he would jus pull the "now ur taking ur friend's side rather than ur own dad" card.. lol like dude :< like evenat garba all my fam is jus gonna get tired and i will be left alone :<<

Anyways theres nothing i can do bout it now lol :p so imma jus enjoy wtv is laid infront of meeeeee yeeeyyyyyyyyyyy, like FUCK IT WE BALL

(all credits to pintrest :P)

[cassketti]

Tbh… you should totally drop your adrian shephard headcanons pls……..

OWCH OW OW OFYCK FUCK FUCK CRAMPS OCUH OC WO OWWWW

- filipino. hehehHAHAHAHAHA 🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭

- He doesn’t know how to speak tagalog. Just picked up some words and phrases that his parents said.

- Agender. Lmfao. Aro bisexual

- I’ve been kinda thinking abt what his typology would be. Whats there to even type LMFAOO. But ermm. I’ve been thinking sp7, sx6, 8fix, 3fix. He’d def be like a 3V tbh.

- His spore launcher grew up. YAYY!!! Spore launcher, erm, shock trooper, acts like an angsty teen now.

- Adrian: ya man so like. I would be carrying this baby alien around with me and he SPITS OUT FUCKING uh FRUIT GRENADES AND SHIT like thats fucking sick man wish I can spit out fruit grenades Shock trooper: ddaaaaaad, ur embarassing me.. 😡😡😡

- But they’re both happy they were able to reunite <:3 HEHEHEHEHE

- Adrian was in stasis all like “that mf BETTER NOT BE DEAD.. THAT WAS MY SSON…..”

FUCK OW OW OWWW

- i hate his cannon (ish?) personality. Tf u mean “adventure”?? Acting like ur going to a field trip and shit. Omfg.

- That being said. He does try to look for opportunities of “adventure”. Type of guy to purposely get himself lost. Like he’d be walking home and go “damn bruh what if I just went a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT route than I usually do”. Chris McCandless ass 😭😭

- I feel like he’s the younger sibling 💀💀LIKE THE TYPE WHO ACTS MORE CHILLER AND I GUESS MORE MATURERER THAN THE OLDER ONE. Mitchell tries so hard to be like a role model for him but adrians jus chilling

OW

- (This is after like stasis. So like, hl2) hates being in the dark (literally). Hates being alone too. He’s not like super duper social or anything but he tries to surround himself with people or at least someone to keep him company.

- Touch starved, lmfao.

- Foams at the mouth at the sight of grass and light /j

- He gets overwhelmed (physically) easily. Light gives him a headache. He notices sounds more.

- Adrian’s upset that his home is kinda, gone. And he feels rlly homesick and there’s nothing he could do 😭😭😭 bro came back from 20 years of the void and he finds out that everything has completely changed.

- Cuz like. In his years of stasis he was fantasizing about being back at Earth and what he would do again, then he comes back and ITS TERRIBLEEE 😭😭😭

- Hungry. Appreciates his meals alot more than he did before. I mean who wouldn’t, look at WHAT EARTH IS IN HL 2. THE COMBINE FOOD IS NASSSSTTYY AND SOME PEOPLE BE JOINING CIVIL PROTECTION FOR IT.

- this isnt an adrian shephard hc. But like i like to think rebel bases has like those filipino tricycles, the ones with a motercycle attached to like a cab. Yk? Alyx rides on them a few times. Hc she’s also (partially) filipino 🇵🇭🇵🇭

- he used to be kind of a germaphobe. Bro washed his hands two-three times for more than 20 seconds each. Like he’d wash his hands and go “damn wait a minute what if I didn’t wash it enough. One more time just in case.” He carried hand sanitizer with him everywhere. Washed his face and doused himself in lysol disinfectant spray whenever he came into contact with something that “just felt dirty”. Wiped down his belongings after someone borrowed it. Tried not to open doorknobs directly with his hands as much as possible. Used to be hesitant on petting stray animals. He grew out of it, eventually. Lol. Such a 1F (ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO)

- I mean he’s an animal person tho. That’s just a collective agreement at this point. That mf liked animals. He likes otters. The spore launcher reminded him of an otter.

- Hated being seen as weak or pathetic. Tries to make himself important. Hates people seeing him emotional. Tries to act calm and collected and shit. He doesn’t know what he’s doing most of the time.

- Likes journaling. I do too. He glues scraps and other stuff on a page when he didn’t feel like writing.

- Feels like he failed something. Like he could’ve reached his fullest potential but didn’t. Erm. Wasn’t able to at least.

- gman bullies him cuz he thinks it’s fucking funny as hell. Like, just do things that would inconvenience Adrian slightly (not rlly slightly). Like gman moves furniture precisely where Adrian would hit his elbow really hard, flinch and turn around really fast, then hits his head on another piece of furniture, then he falls over and hit his back on the edge of a chair.

- Gman would abruptly teleport next to adrian, trip him over, then immediately disappear right before Adrian could get up.

- Yk. Stuff like that.

- Adrian’s lowkey scared of gman. I mean shit I would be too if I was him. He’s scared that gmans gonna come in and ruin everything for him. Gordon is too, I could go into detail and my gordon hcs I literally have notes for it. anyways.

- He dyed his hair blonde

Theres more buuut WHATEVER. Some of these dont even rlly have an apparent reason I jus be like “ya this got to be adrain shephard” and believe its true

Part 2 if someone asks this question again FILIPINO EDITION🇵🇭🇵🇭😇😇/j

[spirituallyunhinged]

SO in this post i wanted to kinda track myself up until now to better see my progress throughout my practice but, as my own shit memory works against me constantly, im sure i’ll remember more as i go or like randomly in the near future

also its kinda my intro for this blog atm so thats cool (this took several hours n ik im missing key stuff but like its totally fine)

Rough timeline of my practice

got really into tarot

i watched so many videos on youtube with a friend of mine during like the end of 2020 to like beginning 2021 i think it was closer to 2021 tbh (this was also so many crisis times for other things too but once i went to college n ended up on calls with my friend we kinda got into it together)

2021

bought my own tarot deck and started doin readings for my friends n myself

side note: after reading for myself like twice n had no idea about veiling i gave my friend a few — the second time i did this i ended up gettin kinda possessed by their guide it was crazy n id love to be able to do it safely but it left me mad sick n i havent figured out how to do it without the sick afterwards but yea i ended up veilin hardcore for readings for a whileee after

stopped considering myself as a being apart of organized religion

while i was raised in the christianity kinda ive had multiple points durin my life where ive fallen off or gotten back on BUT after actually fading away from it i just decided i didnt wanna deal with the labels thing — tbf i wasnt really thinking i was anyways but i just kept puttin it off so i didnt have to deal with it :)

started gettin into like witchtok n witchcraft

i was super fascinated by witchcraft n i still am

went home for the summer and decided to pack it all away so my fam wouldnt notice

ended up still on the passive learning about witchcraft n tarot but like it was very little cuz i was goin through it

went back to college n my roommate was into tarot too

this was legit the best n i did so many readings for strangers when my roomie didnt wanna

started listenin to guided meditations on youtube n tryin to meditate myself

i struggle with it so bad tho hence the guided vids but yea no i hated it alot n dropped the everyday one like a week into it (now i do more like flow state meditation n i hate it alot less i want to do the silence one but i actually despise it)

i made a protective spray for our room

i was dumb about it tho n had to use a water bottle i stabbed holes in cuz i had only a tiny ass spray bottle (this one ended up goin with me everywhere

figured out out room was kinda haunted n while bein kinda scared i was more pissy about it

we left to the cafeteria n talked about it before goin back n i ended up talkin to our ghost n then we were vibin with em but ooo before we were cool they kept fuckin kickin my bed corner as i was about to sleep for legit two weeks before i brought it up n found out my roomie saw them knock shit off the desks n we both had been hearin the corners humming fuckin randomly until we looked over there like oh it was a time

i got into makin moon water n charging everythin i could get my grubby mits on

i kept stealin rocks from the campus n my friend gave me some theyd gotten for me when theyd gone out n about into nature it was great

ended up constantly veiling and worryin about protection on myself

this was due to being overwhelmed by the energy of large crowds i got like constant headaches n it was bad :D

oh subplot of the protection i ended up using the like shield technique before i was veiling and it was effective but like i didnt think it was enough n THEN i started veiling like all the time 🫠

got really into cleansing

this is something im still really into but at the time i did it like once a week n now i do it every time im in the shower since i saw a hack about using the waters properties as well as the cleansing stuff so yea that was it for me so yea while i still cleanse when i feel like i need to usually i cleanse myself everytime i shower

got into candles and candle magic more

bought some protection based books

i def read them but like ehh i use some of the things from em but i only got two n one seemed kinda intimidating since it was very hecate based which was so cool but like idk they were that guys personal stuff n i didnt wanna intrude (?) it was weird ik but eh its fine

sun cleansing! + a lil bit of sun water makin

kept drinkin the moon water until the aries one set me off for like two days of physical shaking

i didnt stop drinkin it but like i think about it more now instead of being like welp i made it im finna drink it all rn for fun 🤩

struggled with astrology��� birth charts specifically

i still dont really understand birth charts n they confuse me :) so i had costar on my phone instead for a while

durin a readin for my roomie from another friend i ended up gettin kinda possessed again

this wasnt my fault i wasnt veilin cuz i thought i was safe… i was very wrong which lead to me veilin anytime someone was gettin a reading from my roomie

got a concerning amount of obsessed about soulmates

big yikes past me was still goin through it BUT in their defense past me kept gettin weird ass intuition based things about what i think was a potential soulmate kinda situation n then that person kinda kept sendin shit into my energy n latched on a lil bit but all good now 🫡

dreams dreams dreamsss

had so many vivid dreams that seemed to hold a shit ton of messages n everythin from “the divine” which then transferred to from my spirit team lmao

incense since my roomie loved it — smoke cleansed n protected the room with salt alot

started hearin things during my roomies readings of ppl

like i started pickin up on the shit their readings were sayin without doin anything which like this was primarily through songs but also really jarring yellin sometimes

went home for the winter break n accidentally brought our ghostie with me cuz i was worried theyd be alone n my roomie was takin the plant so

at home i was able to better sense the house ghost that was in the spare room i was sleepin in at the time

2022

went back to school n the veiling had to be bumped up to like all the time

aura colors!! like had to focus on ppl but ooo was so cool

was wearing protective charms n charged jewelry all the time

used so much music in my divination (shuffle that shiiitt)

woke up late at night n saw some like bad energy tryin to fuckin seep through the celling at me

was havin issues with a girl who wanted to like take over my place to be with my roomie n im pre sure that was from her but eh

said girl asked me to help her protect her room n i did cuz u wanted to be nice

did some candle magic for her n read her tarot like all the time too

had to take a theology course n an ethics one

the theology one was really into the old religions n mushrooms n like all sorts of stuff like that n the teacher was a Buddhist so it was so good

had a dream for my roommate n it was so vivid n weird cuz i did shit i would never ever want to do

when i woke up i realizedthat we had talked about her doin that thing like a month ago n i realized what the message was actually about but holy shit weird

learned about spiritual guides some more n tried to meet them

kinda worked kinda didnt but like i was using a guided meditation off youtube so after tryin again had some success (mainly through dreams)

went home for summer again n put it kinda on pause

it was during this time that i had a dream for another friend of mine who was all up in my energy at the time n it was actually fuckin terrifying

i have no idea what the dream was about but i had it woke up scared to some tall ass ppl over my bed like sternly tellin me to tell the other person n i asked them if i told them theyd leave n let me go back to bed without the terror — they said yes n was like “TELL THEM” kinda loudly n it was actually scary but yea i frantically typed that up n sent it to the person n once i did their ppl immediately left n i was immediately okay again

went back to school with a new roomie n more into protecting my room every few months

was learning n vibing with my spirit guides oh n more dreamss

saw a figure of a lady over my roomie late at night was pre freaky at the time

when i brought it up to her she was like oh 😀

stopped protecting so hard

instead of every time i cleansed i put up shields i kinda just put em up when i really needed em — stopped veilin all the time but like i kept up with the protective jewelry n rocks

in retrospect i think ive been doin it subconsciously n when im not my guides take care of it more now which is super nice im ngl

i learned about alters/shrines n that kinda worship

used that knowledge to make an alter for my spirit guides that was in my closet

made incense offerings n various food stuff

i remember giving them a huge ass chocolate easter bunny for help with something one time

did a protection spell in a teacup that sat on their alter too for a while

used a pendulum like all the time

read some tarot at a party for like five ppl

2023(?)

also sometime around here felt called to give a smoke offering for help with something n gave it to some greek pantheon figures

i really shouldve seen the hellenic polytheism coming like dammit it was so obvious

was like giving physical offerings i think pre often before learning that you could give energetic ones without a physical offering too

i was charging the physical offerings like every time before learning about how some ppl just give energy when they cant give physical stuff

a relative got really sick n i kept giving energetic offerings n incense for like almost a month

said family member decided to not go through any more treatment n once i found out i tried giving more but after visiting with my whole family i went back to my dorm n i got this feeling n heard “2 weeks” with like finality n it was like such a heavy feeling that came with it n i tried to put it off but like i knew that was all the time she had left with us

i ended up going home n spending as much time as i could there but yea it was like two weeks later when she passed n i was really not okay about it n i was angry that i hadnt given enough to get her to stay but ik there wasnt much we could do n i think my offerings mightve helped but couldnt have put that kinda thing off much but yea oof that was rough

took a week or so where i shoved my practice away after askin about her n makin sure she was okay

after that week or two i started doin more energetic offerings

saw a relatives dog right after he had been put down like before i knew he was gone n saw him run around the kitchen then walk over to my family member id lost earlier that year

dont remember anything else rn other than cleansing all the time n energy offerings like every night to my spirit guides

2024

reworked my alter

did some protective candle magic for my friend

basically on my own so been learning n havin some experiences here n there but having trouble with specifics rn

learned more about spirit guides

learned more about other forms of divination

mainly bone throws, dice, cartomancy, n some others i can’t remember

energetic offerings every night for my guides n talkin to em them

got wayyy better at hearing my guides

became really aware of the spirits id been seeing all of the sudden when talkin to my ma

once i realized id been seein them or like their energy n i focused i could see some features like what they tend to do n hair colors specifically

got really into learning about hellenism n devotional work

granted u had learned about it before as well but i came back into learning about it with a fervor

had some spirits turn up right before i went to bed

asked them to come back in the morning so that i could read tarot on it

started doing some worship type stuff for the greek pantheon through energetic offerings n while doing certain tasks

randomly tasted iced coffee for a few hours which i never have so i asked if someone wanted an offering n got a yes so did that which was cool

set up new alter/shrine spaces

started giving energetic offerings to my new shrines as well

last week of may i gave specific offerings because i was panicking about some medical issues n couldnt sleep it was a whole thing so i reached out to Hypnos for help sleeping and Asclepius and his daughters for help with the medical thing

this was a great idea from panic filled me tbh n ive been sleeping wayyy better n feelin better

ive been givin offerings since to them along with a few physical offerings

since then ive been tryin to learn n worship in my own kinda way

also ended up on new meds (im chronically ill lmao) n then because im allergic to em i ended up overnight in the hospital haha so i ended up turning to some if the gods for help

i gave a bunch of energy offerings since i was ya know not at home n then once i was free to do ish again i poured some offerings down the sink in the hospital

ive been attempting to add to my shrine rn but since i crocheted the cloth my spirit guides’ shrine has so i wanted to do that but i made like two version n hated em so far so im still workin on it

thats it for the moment but ill try to update it as i remember or like as ish happens!

[kusundei]

filled with loveee 💗 i hate how often i bounce back and forth between being okay and being evil but noooo im kinddd ^_^ i was filled with. soooo much dread earlier for no reason at all. as much as that cookie made me ill (im still ill.) maybe it gave me a little more energy. or it was ajax^_^ it was probably him. BUT NOOO. im feeling joyous^_^ i love my house when nobody is home iii feeel so happy and kind and at peace. like i can do something and be okay :3 ill bask in the joy i feel currently and pray to god i dont get lashed 💗

NO BECAUSE yesterday was. definitely. something. felt so much better after texting him liiiike. howd you know i was typing whaaaat. nooo he makes me feeel soososos much better and my mom was being kind after anyways… though the bathroom door may be gone. ILL SHOWER WHILE THEYRE NOT HOME…. but nooo she made champorado last night and iiiii ate it. despite my negative feelings. speaaaking of eating iii need to chill out. i cant say much today cuz im feeling ill but while im feeling hopeful and kind i need to. uhhh. stop doing this. AS IN BEING LIKE whats the point of eating i wont eat alot anyway… or my . i wont eat at school… or my. i hate eating in front of people and i share my food and etcetc. iii need to uhhh. calm down and advocate for myself because no its dumb when i think ab it but no i cant ezactly shake the guilty feeling i associate w it??? like how illALWAYS. turn down food. even if im hungry like nooo you sont need to know that… im just glad im not at the point of myyy. passing out low blood pressure point but nooo the knowledgement i mightve hit the 130s plagues me a tad. too scared to check and also they locked the door so i cant. I HATEIT BECAUSE i enable myself sometimes. lile i thought ab it last night and i was like jesus christ iiii doom myself more than anyone else. perchance i DOOOO CONDEMN MYSELF… maybe i am not a 7 on the pyramid. but nooo im kind and im tryinggg i just get evil sometimes 💗 alot maybe 💗

BUT I WONT THINK AB IT. im not hungry right now unfortunately but i am feeling sick. just a bit but not enough to worry me its just the knowledgement i tried to eat the cookie earlier and it made me feel THIS BAD i think says something. but oh welllll. ill hope and pray the world will treat me kindly tonight.. my mom especially. i will call sav while i have the ability to or try and lock in on my essay idk. i hope they stay out for a bit. illl waaaittt for my lovelyyy darling boyfriend and be happyyy :3 i’ll be okay .

[cristellove4321]

Thought to share this little au I have.uwu, i have alot more au's, especially of star palace and welcome to dreamworld, but this one, well-

okie so this au is called the morning star palace au, or MSPC for short, I made this au cuz-, well-, one, I REALLY don't like how modern bad churchs (like the ones in stories and such) are always have to be positive activity and perfect, thus no sins and hense no flaws some how, two, this fandom, me and fry especially, N E E D S I T cuz ACK- :>, and three, churchs just looks hot.:>, so here's what i did-

I was raised to be Christian, so while I'm not completely Christian I still have knowledge from what I learned when growing up, graduated in a church from after my first year of first grade to the last year of high school, from a lil tradition during Halloween and easter my family and other familys do in Alabama.(yes I am from Alabama.:>), and from video games that involves churches somehow.:>

So, for mirage and ery actually references a roleplay i had with a friend, where ery is kept in a glass casket by mirage so that anyone meeting her won't break her.(in this au shes a porsaline puppet.), for them, mirage is the bible reader.(aka the person/robot that reminds others of what the bible says like as if it was a story.), their also still a story teller, but they read church story's you'll normally find in the library sometimes.(needless to say they like that more and the most is they'll do is give "or yeet" a bible at zavy to get to it.uwu)

for zavy, hes the priest hes-, pratically himself.(frazzybear im looking at you-), and well, we heard basically it all by now, the priest performs the Sacraments Eucharist, Reconciliation, Baptism, Funerals, Marriages, Sacrament of the Sick and spreads/proclaim the word of god, I believe the most he would like to do was to help or physically be near someone as much as possible due to his original coding, so for the "Sacrament of the Sick" may be his favorite, cuz it takes the priest to put a lil oil on the sick/ill, in order to fight off whatever sickness they may have (idk me either-) and take care of them, hense he'll be there for a person 24/7 until their better.

for fairy floss is a nun of the church, besides cricket and doc, she's the only nun there, like them she does the same thing, spend an hour and a half daily in mental prayer, do spiritual reading for at least a half hour a day, observe silence except during Recreation which is after dinner and supper and engage in a variety of work maintenance of the monastery, gardening, correspondence, art work, computer projects, kitchen and sacristy work, needlework, and crafts.(im literally looking the rest of the details up at this damn point.:>), She does all that, but except the part where it means "lights out" aka sleep, she charges like zavy and mirage, but the three of them gets up when zavy gets up due to the one being the fastest to charge, they begin being themselves when its night time, due to it being the only time they can be themselves without being yelled at (mainly by doc like in the og star palace story/audio book), these three and every other character has at least one sin from the 7 deadly and more well known ones.(hence why it's called "Morning star" palace church au, cuz that star is indeed part of the sign of jesus's birth and hense the birth of Christmas, Hanukkah and so forth.(the robots, like their language translations, their programed to learn every religion in the world but mainly the USA so it won't overload them), but the morning star is also by a sword that was made in heaven but was sent down to hell with a certaint someone took.(if you called Lucifer than your right as hell.>:3), and before anyone else asks, yes their sexualities are the same as their original counterparts.:3

this is an ask blog so you can ask the characters questions and I'll try to answer in character as best as my dumbass can, either on bid post here or on the ask questions button everyone has on here.uwu

Hope everyone has a good day and a summer!!! ^^

[yuukei-yikes]

would you talk about shintaro's romantic relationships post str? im really curious about how what happens between shinaya breakups and after. how'd he hit on takane? how did they get together with kano? what does ayano think abt all of this?

ive had this ask in my inbox for like 3 weeks idk why cuz i love it but. ok u gotta hear me out for a second. im gonna repeat myself A LOT A LOT ALOT but i have a lot of fun doing that💗 this ended up super long because im sick in the head.

after shintaro and ayano break up shintaro is like. OK HE'S SPIRALING DOWN. but it's a lil more nuanced than that it's not that he reverts back and it is exactly the same as it was and he's just whining over ayano shut in his room. deep down and truthfully he's totally relieved. he wasn't ready to be in a relationship, just like ayano, and while this isn't the only reason for their relationship's demise it is basically the core problem, and out of it a million other problems are created.

during the time he's like. recovering. or whatever u wanna call it. he dooooes sort of revert back a lil bit to being a shut in but not really bc now there's everyone around and no one will let him actually do it LOL also he's definitely not as despaired as he was back then. and takane is there for him a lot. also haruka and momo and just generally the dan even if the mekatrio wanna kill him with hammers. sidenote on that i think ayano after cooling off she would explain it wasn't entirely shintaro's fault and she was also kind of a dickhead in the situation (ayano was projecting all her pain on one person and taking out her sadness and frustration solely on the relationship when she was really hurting abt literally everything else. this also wasn't fair to shintaro and she knows it) and mekatrio are like oh my god our sister doing wrong?!?!?! completely possible she is a person. continue <- except kano. we'll get back to him.

i think shintaro rather takes it as an excuse to finally break down as if he didn't have the right to before, a bit similarly to ayano he was in denial of all this baggage. like it was really a match made in hell LMAO but basically shintaro is STILL in denial even after breaking up while ayano is picking herself up which is why she even ends things in the first place

while he's in this state obviously takane's worrymeter chart goes off and breaks and explodes and shintaro sorta reverting triggers takane into sorta reverting so then theyre back to being alone in his room. LIKE i keep saying shintaro is terrified of the unknown, like he's seen the same thing over a hundred times and he can remember it all but this is new and it's very scary.

so it's comforting to be back in his room with takane. because thru it all he's also resenting takane because all this time they were supposed to be like this duo or whatever, like in ALL routes they're ALWAYS together she is always there with him and she just. cannot remember that. they were together for a year but for shintaro it was one year a hundred times and for takane it's JUST one year. their codependency comes from this, for shintaro it was so much more time and for takane even if for her it was really just a year she made shintaro her LIFE so it's just as heavy for both. sorry their friendship makes me so crazy

and when shintaro is off horribly dating ayano, haruka and takane are being normal and picking up where they left off and being cute and working on their problems together and etcetc like I've talked abt it in a post lol but basically harutaka drives shintaro crazy because he's like ohhhh my god why does SHE get this. why is takane managing so well. subconsciously ofc my man has NOT the emotional capacity to identify that feeling so he expresses it through live shintaro reaction. like as he and ayano go more and more downhill, takane is more and more self aware of their codependent dynamic and yknow WORKING ON IT. like its simultaneous how shintaro is losing both these relationships so fast at the same time.

so when the breakup happens and shintaro is NOT OK, of course takane puts a pause to everything and is by his side. for shintaro this is super comforting not because takane is there for him and she's helping but rather cuz. yes. THIS is what i know. THIS is comfortable. and as a plus to shintaro, takane reverting her progress probably means she reverts progress with haruka and that makes shintaro a little relieved he's just like thank god im not the only one fucking up💖 takane and i are 2 different sides of the same coin so she can't run she's just like me for real💖 that's just his sick narrative btw. in reality takane is totally aware of what's happening and overdue giving shintaro a smack in the head

like it WONT BE LIKE IT USED TO because THINGS ARE DIFFERENT!! takane cannot dedicate her life to shintaro and the fact he sort of expected her to do it again is insulting to her. like from shintaro its very unconscious he doesn't do it on purpose he just refuses to think outside this box of personal narrative he's built. its not like shintaro is being a dickhead like hey Live For Me Again he rather shows it in moments like, he's surprised when takane says she has to go bc she has work or bc she made plans with haruka, or how he will call her at any time unannounced and be like. hey on ur way here can u get more coke ok byeeee and she's like. it tells her he EXPECTS her to put him before everything like she used to and it pisses her off.

to rant a bit abt the "personal narrative" of shintaro. i think it's interesting that shintaro is essentially a very self centered character and kagepro is very meta in the way it treats him as a main character. because inside of kagepro, he really gets as much focus as any other character, they're all "main" character to us. its rather inside the story he plays a very important role therefore he is the protagonist and as the protagonist he puts an end to the story itself too. i think this is all interesting together and fun to dissect shintaro's character as inherently self centered because that's what the story is. it shows not only in the way he acts even without retaining activated, but he is really in the center of it, and the way he handles it in everyday life once this story is over and theyre free from a narrative in the first place, is self destructive (and fun. to me) because its not compatible to being a normal fucking person.

so yeah it IS taking him a bit to really LOOK at his friends and stop looking only for himself. technically he's lived a hundred doomed lives and now he's here trying out this one and again it is scary and new and well. he is trying to navigate thru it, even if not in the best ways. he takes takane totally for granted because of this. in the narrative she has always been his sidekick. she has been the second main character to him. she has always lived and served him in all timelines, in all the time theyve known each other that she can't remember and he can, takane has been ene and ene has always been his annoying lap dog he hates as much as he needs in order for the story to move forward. so takane also being her own person outside of him, moving on, finding love somewhere else and OUT LOUD tackling issues like hey we have a codependent dynamic going on we should work on, IS ALSO STRANGE AND HE DOESNT LIKE IT. he shuns it completely whenever takane brings it up, which she does a lot as time goes on. because time keeps going on. it keeps passing by. and everyone around him seems to be growing up and that's so infuriating and so terrifying and ayano dumping him is as much of a reality check as ayano asking him out in the first place, and he doesn't know what to do with it other than cry and thrive off the attention takane is giving him again

i think takane would try to do what she does and be silly as fuck to distract shintaro but this time also sorta mixed in with actual talking unlike how their dynamic used to be. not to repeat everything i just said but YEAH shintaro is taking her for granted, he already was but when he and ayano break up it sort of gets worse. the way takane isn't reacting how he expects her because she's... not playing a role, she is just a person. she is growing up and moving on and this serves as extremely horrifying as well so he. teehee. enter kano

kano enters the picture in between shinaya breakup and takane having enough. shintaro and takane still share this dynamic but shintaro keeps being forced to look at the reality of his situation and the way he's been self sabotaging all of these relationships and he haaaates it and i think while kano is dealing with all his own baggage he is SO mad at shintaro for his whole thing with ayano and kano is Very emotionally smart he just uses it for evil&malicious purposes and also he is so petty all his eq becomes constipated and destructive. but like he knows it. he knows he's hurting himself by approaching shintaro who he KNOWS he likes and he isn't even sure himself if he's approaching him because he likes him or because he hates him. kano has so many mixed feelings over shintaro especially in this scenario where a messy shinaya breakup takes place.

kano gets close to shintaro because he knows he's at his lowest. he tells himself it's to irritate him and to throw things on his face and just to be evil or just to watch him suffer from up close but shintaro's out here looking like a kicked puppy and kano is whipped So Bad he can't help IT!! but not even he knows with WHAT intention he approaches him with. and he hates himself for it bc auugghhhh ITS AYANOS EX FIRST AND FOREMOST AND HE HURT HER AND AYANO CAN DO NO WRONG NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS AND I HATE HIM but kano and ayano sharing their shit taste in guys is his demise. he likes shintaro dammit. so no matter WHY, he gets close and well they kiss a little.

from shintaro's side IVE SAID i dont think shintaro hates kano as popularly believed idk i think he's rather confused with him and even understands why he's so icky around him bc he's overprotective over ayano so like HE GETS IT. i think shintaro and kano get in this AUGGH SHUT UP IDIOT dynamic that goes both ways exactly here because shintaro isnt in a great headspace like always but now especially and kano is just a fucking asshole. so they hang out and its awful and also a relief to shintaro because it feels good to be finally held accountable. this is also how he feels when ayano breaks up with him, tho for her it's also mixed with so many other things like a reality check. that angry ayano is unfamiliar and strange and freaks him out. but when it was over it was a relief because it meant he was free of that relationship he didn't want to be in (entirely. of course ayano and shintaro love each other and get together because they wanted to, but sadly love is not enough sometimes) and he was also free of having to see sides of ayano he isn't comfortable with seeing yet

with kano that isn't a problem because he's always been a little shit so it's a win. also makes him feel responsible, also a win. but seeing shintaro be accepting of being at fault it makes kano so damn angry too like UGH WELL IT WASNT ENTIRELY UR FAULT!! AYANO ALSO DID THIS AND THAT like EXACTLY as ayano has been telling kano when kano kept antagonizing shintaro in their breakup, ayano keeps explaining her side of things and how she wasn't entirely innocent either. and kano doesn't wanna listen but still parrots all of it to shintaro when shintaro keeps having a pity party and shintaro's like wow. i never saw it like that... and kano's like WELL THATS WHAT ID SAY IF I DIDNT THINK ITS ALL UR FAULT. WHICH IT IS. U HURT MY SISTER WHO CAN DO NO WRONG I HATE YOU. I LITERALLY CANNOT STAND YOU and then they kiss. because theyre crazy.

anyways. also terrifying. 1. unfamiliar. 2. gay. so shintaro is losing his damn mind like the whole thing is his extended freak out about the narrative being over and living in the good ending basically lol. so at his wits end he IS INDEED going to takane. everything is falling apart and nothing makes sense and he can't feel grounded and he feels so sick all the time and THAT'S why he turns to takane. the one constant!!!

takane is the one constant. takane is who has always been there. and because he needs at least 1 more punch to be able to see clearly that's how he turns to her and "hits on her" as I've put it in the past LMAO i think that's very simplified but u asked specifically how he does this and man i wanna write it so bad in a fanfic like i keep saying but OK BASICALLY its not that he Hits On Her its rather that he's like talking to takane as if she hadn't made any progress like him . he's like what if we make ourselves a favor and u move back in my comp 💖and we live driving each other crazy forever 💖wouldnt that be crazy. and takanes like YES that WOULD be crazy. amd shintaro's like "RIGHT it would TOTALLY be crazy LOL!!! but erm. HEAR ME OUT" because he thinks she's still barely holding it together and assumes she's still obsessed with him which she isn't, i picture this happening one or two years after str so takane's like. living her best domestic harutaka life. she's FINE. and shintaro's talking to her like she isn't fine which has been pissing her off already from before but now its in one culminating moment. because it's ok to hold ur hand on the journey to heal but if u refuse to keep fucking walking listen eventually the person is just gonna let go of ur hand my man

he asks takane to live with him forever because of how terrifying the good ending is and in his stupid personal narrative she is also still struggling so win win!!! THE ROMANTIC ASPECT OF IT comes with ayano&kano being part of shintaro's love life and the 2 people who he's been driving himself crazy about and is using takane to distract himself. so he puts two and two together and is like well wouldn't it make sense?? as icky as it is??? to be with takane??? because he is stupid and i find this extremely comical. i dont know if he would actually fall in love with her i think it's rather that he convinces himself he is because it makes sense on paper to him. he probably writes down all these conjectures and nodding like well of course it makes sense. like all the people he knows are parts of a math problem or some shit LMAO

in this math haruka's (old) insecurities of takane choosing shintaro over him are included too. shintaro's mistake comes in the fact haruka&takane's relationship does not pass by him and he has a very simplistic and self centered view of it. in reality haruka isn't as insecure if at all by then, and takane has been trying to deattach from the dynamic with shintaro for a while now and instead is attempting to be regular friends. like haruka and takane are married mode by then, having grown as people and as a couple but shintaro is so stuck in time and in need to give everyone a role that works for him that he fails to acknowledge that detail which is WHY he can approach her so easily. he's like I've done the people math this Makes Sense and its Fine it will all work out in my favor. he's nervous and pathetic of course but he's delusional first and foremost. i think the "hits on her" is rather shintaro&takane having a very fucked up talk that escalates and takane gets angry very badly lol. I Will Write This.

erm. that's how it happens. i think as he talks to takane and it becomes clearer and clearer that she is NOT in the same page he begins to despair abt it because his carefully calculated social plan is finally falling apart. and with it being a 2x1 because it makes his friendship with haruka fall apart too who through it ALLL from ayano to takane to kano has been telling him SHINTARO YOU ARE SELF DESTRUCTIVE PLEASE BE CAREFUL. ive also gone over that in an ask but lol yeah💖😀

for what ayano thinks of it, ayano and shintaro are completely taking a break from each other during all this but i dont think she'd be angry. she's completely focusing on herself (in a good way unlike shintaro) and working on her own baggage so she's like aw. poor shintaro. haruka&takane are probably a bit annoyed at the reaction bc he's a dickhead but ayano probably puts it more in perspective. takanes like yeah but it doesnt mean i cant be angry. ayanos like yeah ur absolutely right im still furious with him😊 <- while looking like that. but ayano's an empath💗 so while she is angry and sees everyone is angry she's still like, despite it all they all love shintaro and hope he will take these things to finally better himself. it's very frustrating that shintaro only understands when he drives u to a point of screaming and crying and then u feel bad for him even though HES the one who drove u to that point. he will be ok he needs the company of someone who won't keep giving things to him and give nothing in return. he needs the company of someone who will do to him the same he does to everybody. that said kano has been hanging out with him A LOT.

kano is there for shintaro they both crash and explode together but somehow pick themselves and each other backup. like it's a whole thing💗 i think ayano is on top of everything she's like it will be UGLY. but it needs to be done💗

shintaro also gets a therapist😀 sorry if i have a delusional design and hcs for shintaro's therapist like she's an unnamed oc. whatever.

ayano is busy with herself to worry about shintaro's mess. she still does but not before she gives herself the time and space she needs. a talk between them after certain time has passed would be so interesting and do so much good to both. but heh. sorry did all that answer ur question