#its complicated. but i like my men complicated
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okay so this is maybe weird to ask but ive been ✨ exploring my gender identity ✨ (yet again) and ive been looking into butch?? the one thing is i think i like dudes?? im either bi or gay (probably, im def ace but i dont know if im aro as well and its just like. queer platonic attraction or some shit?? sorry its complicated) but one of the big things i keep seeing around is like. you have to like women to be butch or you cant like men to be butch and i feel like i would identify as butch but idk if thats allowed?? anyway i hope ur having a good day
butch just means queer masculinity, there's no other requirements and no restrictions. hope this is informative
it used to be used by masculine gay men like hunks, bears and daddies and still is as well as other masc queer people. here's an ask i've answered in the past with resources about usage of the word butch outside of just woman attracted woman spaces:
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midnight mass redraws ft. james webb
#lmao how do i tag this#priests#midnight mass#father paul#james webb space telescope#????#religious imagery#redraw#babygirl pose#art#priest oc#technically he's priest??? hes a literal telescope though#its complicated. but i like my men complicated
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i am once again thinking about Andrew/Jean parallels, and the potential for how Andrew could help and comfort Jean, since in some ways they went through quite similar traumas
there's that scene in The King's Men where Renee, Kevin, Neil and Andrew are talking about what to do with Jean now that Renee's gotten him away from the Ravens, and Andrew makes it clear that he's not willing to help protect Jean, "And I'm not taking in any more refugees" Andrew said. -page 326 TKM (which is completely fair on Andrew's part given all the bullshit he's already dealing with)
But like, I can't stop thinking about how things might have gone if Andrew had agreed to help, to protect Jean just like he's been protecting Kevin and Neil for well over a year now, to take another "refugee", like how might things have turned out 🤔
#hi i just realised as I was writing this that in addition to their similarities with dr*ke and gr*yson another fuckin similarity is that#THEY BOTH HAVE/HAD SIBLINGS THAT THEY TRIED TO PROTECT AND TO SOME EXTENT FEEL LIKE THEY FAILED#anyways i'm sooooo normal about the bonding over trauma potential these two have that i know will never be explored#bonding over trauma and bonding over their complicated relationships with exy#like am i the only one that was Not expecting Jean to just be like 'i do not like playing exy but its my whole life so im not going to stop#all for the game#aftg my beloved#andrew minyard#jean moreau#tsc spoilers#tsc#the sunshine court#the king's men#tkm#jeandrew#aftg
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not a voice of reason but certainly a voice of clarity
#null havoc damage#zora tag#nyarla tag#'just say youre bisexual' well i dont feel like i am. have you considered that#my attraction to men makes me feel like a man. my attraction to women makes me feel like a woman. and outside of that containing it#i am neither a man nor a woman. i am something else entirely. and im not fond of the idea of calling myself either one straight-faced#and also sometimes i look at a man and i want him to want me like a girl. or i want a girl to want me like a man. different#my point is fuck labels i wish there was a word for 'its complicated so can i just come in and look around'
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im about to fall for one of the classic gay blunders. see you on the other side 🫡
#spacie spoinks#I CANNOT HELP MY ATTRACTION TO WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#why did i ever think i was attracted to men. why did i ever do any of that.#its been obvious since i was like 12 that i never liked them romantically.#me: gets the ick thinking about having sex or being romantic with a man but when its a woman im 👀#me also: no see im biromantic. yeah. i just think men are so pretty :)#i do NOT!!!!#well‚ i can appreciate a man's beauty but i have no interest in dating one or sexing one#of course all of the other. aspec identities complicate things further. but you know.#i THINK ive got some sort of demiromantic demisexual thing goin on#perhaps.#only time will tell truly#tmi? maybe. but if you've been following me for awhile you know that i blab my mouth way too much and tell everyone my business!!!#dont worry guys when i have sex for the first time ill be sure ta give a play by play /j
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you guys are so funnyyyyyy, i hope i never become "normal" and not "disgusting" so that i can keep upsetting people by shipping controversial ships, because really, what am i doing other than existing? worst case scenario youre right, and i do have personal issues and i am working through it/comforting myself through fiction, right? what is so wrong with that? I havent hurt and wont hurt a damn soul by shipping "weird" fictional couples.
#morality police#travis x laura#so many of my fav pairings are hated so yeah i am used to it but seeing ppl encourage censorship on AO3 of all places is just ironic af#critiques are: that they didnt interact that much. lmao where is your imagination then (i think they had the MOST interesting scenes)#the age gap is too big: irl yes there would be complications and questions of intention and morality. BUT THEY ARENT REAL GUYS#i find older men attractive so its part of why i like him. rather than an issue. im entitled to be attracted to anyone of a legal age.#he locked her up for months/power imbalance: yes tht is true but again thats why i like it. watching them overcome issues is thrilling#oh and that we are all teenagers (am not) that we are psychos (definitely not) tht we are sicko/fangirls (ok well tht ones true)#but i know there is no convincing anyone that is small minded and judgmental. u dont have to like it too but why are you casting aspersions#and yeah im late cuz i waited to buy the game. i wouldve been here in the trenches defending any of you guys tht was getting attacked
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"Wwx wouldn't wear high heels or mini skirts-" some of you are wildly underestimating what wwx would do for the bit
#mdzs#mdzs discorse#wei wuxian#look- theres absolutely a conversation to be had to about fandom feminization of gay men#and a further conversation to be had about how often that feminization is paired with making the character stupid and usless#and just like the misogyny of all that#but i also need you all to understand its just as misogynistic to go “that MAN would never do WOMENS activities”#cuz sometimes dudes like feminine things and thats ok#svsss would even argue thats a good thing#and all of mxtx's men are feminine to a degree#ex: lbh's housewife tendencies. sy's child care tendencies and attention to his appearance. lwj being depicted doing “wife's duties”#wwx being referred to as “the mother.” hc's fancy ass closet. xl's androgyny being a really important aspect of his character#as (in xianle) its considered to be a sign of being closer to enlightenment. also his whole motif is balance between force and delicateness#also he does drag#but ya- this is my long winded way of saying people need to stop acting like fans don't understand wwx if they think he’d rock a mini skirt#he can be cunty AND a morally nuanced ass kicking (formerly sword wielding) wizard man#and i guess my tags turned this into a “you actually dont understand xl if you deny his femininity” post too#getting really annoyed at fandoms acting like femininity negates everything else about the characters#looking at both people creating this stereotype and people attacking fanworks that include feminine elements#just to end this off- for the sake of argument I'm calling things feminine/masculine based off traditional (and frankly conservative) values#but i am aware gender expression irl is way more complicated than that
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as an indigenous two spirit queer person, for upcoming pride month & indigenous history month for the love of fucking g-d can we FOR FUCKING ONCE unite under ONE UNITED queer community & stop whining & bitching over who gets to use what term & over bullshit that doesn't even matter when people are literally in concentration camps all around the world & queer people are in danger & to look at your local communities & center indigenous voices (& other queers of color) in your activism. get yourselves together holy fucking shit.
#''can [x] use [f slur d slur etc] slur'' WHO FUCKING CARES#''can men be lesbians/can women be gay men'' WHO FUCKING CARES#as long as you're not being a cultural appropriator by taking closed cultures that youre not a part of you're literally fucking fine#why do yall have to make this shit so fucking complicated its ridiculous & it reeks of privilege im so sorry#does this sound mean? yes. do i care? no. im TIRED of trivial bs like this at every pride month when ACTUAL issues are going on the world r#& also for the love of fucking g-d center voices of color in queerness#especially two spirit voices bc im tired of yall nonnatives only using us as a fucking token then throwing us aside whenever its convenient#also PROTECT JEWS & ROMANI BC NAZIS ARE ALWAYS TARGETING US FIRST#this is probably just my aspd talking but i dont give a shit rn. + no discourse or im slaughtering you kthx#arcana.vents
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jingliu is a perfect example of "if this female character was male, shed be universally loved instead of heavily criticized"
#im not saying you cant criticize a character but its sooooo telling that she gets so much of it#“shes a hypoctite. shes too mean. shes too cold.” yeah uh huh but those kinds of traits are fine on ren okay got it#people saying her character design is basic like im sorry but star rail doesnt have very many ground breaking designs for anyone#and yet i only see people bringing up jinglius design. also saying shes too pretty and done up#like the men arent also conventionally attractive. *yes* hoyoverse is bad for unique female designs#buts lets not pretend its solely a jingliu problem. it was an issue before her#shes just another victim of the short dress exposed shoulders look. also her design is not in any way shape or form the worst female design#im not going to give my opinion on that here tho because its not important#im losing my train of thought so im just gonna say people wouldnt be handwringing over the prospect#of jing yuan having romantic feelings for her. in fact thered be droves and droves of girls shipping them if jingliu was a man#not to mention shipping her with ren if she was. and dan heng/feng#but shes not a man so shes being scruitinized and picked apart for any potential “flaws”#like theyre so transparent about it. like im sorry she was mean to ren/yingxing fucking forgive her for having complex feelings#about a messy complicated issue while shes dealing with her own#trauma and guilt and anger and everything else that wouldnt be a problem if she wasnt a female character#the hypocrisy of it all never ceases to astound#hsr
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gonna start posting shitty doodles as updates so i wont just go back to dying again. anywho this means an actual drawing will be on like. monday or tuesday or after. if you see me post before that then itll probably mean i actively didnt do something i was supposed to. whoops
#sho.sketches#<- new tag for shitty art#sho.scramblin#<- this is a tag for whenever i get rambly which. applies here i think#sho (sona)#anywho yeah#i should be finishing my assignment rn#so i can try n get sleep before goin to campus#since after class there'll be a seminar AND an evaluation meeting for a campus event i helped organize last week#which means ill get home like. late at night. oh boy!#im also kinda bummed bc i was gonna go to a con next week but bc of complications im. not going#like. i was really counting on it as a pick me up#like. i wanted to buy art prints damn it. and no i dont want to ask an acquaintance whos going there to buy them for me#part of it bc its not the same#partly bc i dont htink asking someone i barely know to buy me buff furry men art prints is. good optics for my social standing#<- closeted (in both ways)#anywho#see you on the flip side when have the time to draw beegee 3 fanart. ciao
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It's fucked up that the sober population straight up ignores how a huge portion of addicts have chronic illnesses
#was thinking about my stepdad and his plethora of health issues and how they shape his life#and then i thought about sewercentipede and Then i thought about the huge population of bipolar people who are alcoholics#and then after all that i thought about a convo i had with a straight edge friend who was like 'using illegal drugs Should result in jail#time because they could just Not do those drugs. they do it just for fun'#like i understand where he is coming from but i literally think he is wrong af.#i think the people who do drugs (esp hard drugs) recreationally are outnumbered 2 to 1 by people who#are self medicating with illegal drugs. i think most people totally ignore how chronic illnesses#and severe mental illnesses can hurt you on a profound level and because they dont know about that suffering#they do not understand the urge to numb that pain. and people have no sympathy for what they dont understand#lately im so bothered by people who share their opinions with me about complicated issues but clearly havent ever done any research on them#everyone thinks their opinion is so smart and special and no one is studying#especially not studying human behavior. most people think that socialization and political topics are a fucking joke#with 0 relevance to their personal lives. like no one is ever going to be truly informed about All the things#and i know i certainly am not but it is so annoying to speak with people who make no effort at all to learn about a subject#before they try and tell people the business about it. like that guy. his only understanding of drug use#comes from his own relationship to alcohol. but he was not an alcoholic he was just a perv who decided to go christian#like its so egotistical to assume that your experience and emotions can apply to everyone and yet he is not the only guy i know#who has no interest in any perspective other than his own but thinks his perspective is well informed#im sure women piss me off with this behavior too its just that atm i can only think of examples of men acting like this
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do y’all wanna know something funny. when I was in England I accidentally stumbled into finding my sister a boyfriend via @ilovevanillatea and her husband and it is something that has been so funny and good.
#It’s almost been two months so I can talk about it a bit more lightly#it’s had its ups and downs as far as it concerns me. because it’s another big change and one that sometimes feels so full of shadowy fear#and sometimes I have been [ shrieks in strangled anguish ] about it but also and at the same time. it’s been funny#and good. And I am delighted.#My wording is deceptive here —it was really Emma’s husband and Emma who led the charge here#because I showed up at their house and Jonny (Emma’s husband) was like : ‘do you want to date my friend [x]’#which was so funny. But over the course of the week we (and me for personal reasons) all sort of collectively shifted it over to Nina#and things have been going so great#and it has been probably the funniest and occasionally the most maddening outcome of my trip#(It is good. It’s just also complicated. as everything is!! I’m slowly learning how to deal when the women I love find men in their lives)#(I am very bad at it but I am invested in getting better and in learning how to be a true support)#ANYWAY. Of course I wanted to make a million text posts about this simply from a storytelling perspective#but have had to restrain myself#because you know it’s real life and it’s delicate etc.#but now feels like a safe enough time#anyway the sheer ROMCOM OF IT ALL
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man one thing idk how to feel about is the trans men you periodically see weighing in on 'lesbians who fuck men' discourse, usually pretty young people who dont have much experience, desperately insisting that lesbians can be attracted to men because their lesbian girlfriend says so. look I'm not trying to be mean but you need to realise she doesn't see you as a man. she sees you as a woman, or basically a woman, and that's why she likes you. if she was attracted to you as a man she would have to reconsider her feelings about men. if it's just you, that's because she doesn't see you as one.
#lesbian chasers of trans men are so real and massive creeps ive seen it#it often ends up a kind of ESH situation because u also get trans men who are obsessed with getting a lesbian or whatever#but yeah i feel like people dont realise thats a thing and it super is#this one guy who left a huge seething coping rant in my notes#and i went on his blog and it linked to a tiktok acc where he posted 1000 coping videos about it#because he had a massive crush on a lesbian who agreed to date him#and all these videos like 'im trying to see my attraction as more sapphic'#mixed with 'i feel so lonely in the sapphic community because theres nothing about men' (!)#likeyoure literally just trying to change who you are for her. its not worth it#same person that was like just let people have fun or whatever!!! i mean this doesnt look like youre having fun but do you#'sexuality is fluid and complicated!' yeah and if she was attracted to you as a man she would realise she likes men#if her attraction to you isnt making her consider her feelings towards men it means she doesnt see you as a man so its not a challenge to h#her. do the maths
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help I’ve started listening to my chemical romance 😭
#just pav things#when someone’s music taste is a natural extension of my own I will assimilate their favourite artist into my being <3#and honestly this was doomed to happen too.#like. the first album I ever remember listening and doing a silly dance to was Bon Jovi’s Cross Road in KINDERGARTEN#and then I grew up with shoji meguro’s work on persona 4 golden (2012)#I’m literally the girl who thinks electric guitar is the bestest instrument ever#Soo yeah 😅 Turns out Pav was the true emo the whole time 😂#this is what happens when you grow up with literally subgenre of rock at your disposal :>#Anyways this has spurred some heated debate in my mind#Namely. Would Inigo actually listen to this in character?#ITS A COMPLICATED TOPIC THAT’S REALLY TESTING MY KNOWLEDGE OF HIS CHARACTERISATION#Just like how Dolphin asks those difficult questions about Archie where it requires really late-stage psychological thoroughness#and intimate understanding of said deepest parts of the psyche#Because here’s the deal right? We all know Inigo is wearing a false edgier persona to prevent any closeness with other people#Key word: false.#But that’s not the whole picture either is it? He has a harness up to his neck because he wallows in his guilt about Archie#It’s a torture device for him. He’s wearing uncomfortable clothing on purpose.#It almost feels like he would listen to mcr to induce the comfortable inertia of emptiness that sustains his depressed existence#It keeps him thinking about negative topics. Keeps him lost in his nightmarish slumber that is a life devoid of true connection to others#So it would help MAINTAIN his emo mask through willing engagement. Thus preventing Inigo from breaking due to sheer psychological duress~#And c’mon who would listen to ‘you know what they do to men like us in prison’ and NOT think of Archie and Inigo#Or specifically. How Inigo PERCIEVES Archie#They’re both deeply entrenched in sin :3 And Inigo thinks he doesn’t suffer enough for what he did— ‘or just not enough pain in my heart fo#your dying wish’ (dying this case being. metaphorical. y’know)#And then that line of ‘I’ll kiss your lips again’#Like kissing goodbye to a sweet death~#So like. Inigo is trying to reinforce the idea that he’s a murderer in his mind 😭#And that’s my thesis on WHY Inigo would listen to mcr and his response if appropriate 😤 He’s trying to brainwash himself ✨✨✨
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As a bisexual polyamorous woman my dating choices for women are between single women who are convinced I'm planning to spring my husband on them and married women who try to spring their husbands on me.
#polyamory#cnm#non monogamy#poly#unicorn hunters#bisexual#wlw#sapphic#i am neither married nor is my np a man#but im still fighting an uphill battle#unicorn hunters really do ruin it for the rest of us#bi poly women have trouble dating women and get told to just date each other#the situation is a little more complicated than that#yeah im attracted to men but im not attracted to your husband#if i were i wouldve matched with him on one of the many apps for cis men and women* to find each other#too many cis men on the wlw dating app#my np is on grindr and apparently grindr has its own problems with cishet men#cant have shit in detroit#imagine people thinking it was ok to do this to straight men#like just gonna match with this dude bro and then when we make plans to get spicy i tell him i want my husband to watch#just once i want someone to randomly ask if their wife could join in#the answer is still no#but at least thered be variety#kinda surprised so many unicorn hunters are interested in the first place. i thought they mostly preyed on single women
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hi
#i came across his old ref and turns out the clothes i have envisioned for him here are the same as in the old ref. classic#these past days ive just been staring at that concept ref i posted earlier bc i wanna Have His Ref Drawn but i dont wanna draw his ref. eug#i also kinda funnily enough.. hm how do i explain this#im happy with how i made him meaty n stuff as a literal fur coat and id love to render/paint those parts so much#but hes more on the human part of the anthro spectrum and doesnt really.. not wear clothes usually.#best i can imagine is him wearing just bottom half clothing but i associate that with those stereotypical hyper muscular men that i hate#i guess its gonna be more of a 'he looks like this underneath. super cool eh? he just doesnt show it :)' kinda thing#since he has kind of a more serious personality.. in my mind him without clothes looks silly. wyd my guy#maybe ill ask him to crack my head open and figure out why i manage to come up with these annoying details. yes thatll do#besides the design i dont really know how to flesh him out. genuinely. no pun intended#the only things i know for certain is that he's daron's dad and he's a slasher guy. thats it#its tied to me struggling with what direction i wanna take the custom species with biology and psychology. its so complicated#wips
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