#its bizarre at the very least. so you guys can see this one | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

goldsbitch · 2 months ago

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Hypochondria

part 4 to p1, p2, p3

He can sense her emotions, she feels his pain. Baby steps, that's the only way to go.

author's note: guess who's back - and a promised smut chapter turned into slow burn. any reported typos are appreciated. there will be p5.

"I'm sorry, Lando - this all just so bizarre. I'm barely taking it in. Literally don't understand how you're so calm."

He laughed gently. "Well, I did have few extra days to process. And hearing my name roll of your tongue is distracting enough," he said flirtatiously.

Her cheeks went red and her mind stopped, head getting filled with desire and lust. Lando's lips turned into a wide smile, him feeling her arousal as if she was screaming it loudly to his face.

"Glad to see my words have an effect on you. This is indeed going to be fun..."

Lando was on cloud nine. He was just staring at her as if she was a miracle. Her deep eyes unable to stay away from looking at him and lips that had a silent invitation written on them.

He was high on the way how relaxed she felt, proud that he made her feel like that. It was as if there was no yesterday or tomorrow. Just them and the couch. And after few moments of silence and collecting his bravery, Lando leaned in and kissed her.

It was clear to him from the moment he took her upper lip in that he'd give anything for this moment to take at least a thousand years. She did not hesitate and kissed him back immediately. The sweetest touch a woman can give. Leaned in and let nature do its miracles. He smiled into her lips and pushed himself closer to her, making her sink in the couch.

It was right then when a loud, impatient knock nearly sent them both into shock. Lando froze and back away from Y/N little bit, furious with whomever that dared to disturb a key moment in their lives.

"Lando, I apologize, but we have an urgent matter on our hands."

He rolled his eyes and let a deep breath out, recognizing the voice of his workoholic PR manager. This was not the first and probably the last time he had to tell his team off in the dark of the night. Internet never sleeps.

"Can it really not wait this time until tomorrow?" he said before he gave Y/N shameful and apologetic look. She just kept herself quiet, sunken into the comfy couch.

"I'm afraid we will need some immediate action," came from behind the door after another impatient knock.

Lando got his phone out to check the time, only to see 17 missed calls from several people.

"Ok, I'm coming."

He half opened the door to a very flustered PR manager, who looked like he was about to announce a coming tornado. Lando just raised his eyebrows, encouraging him to spill the beans and then planning on dismissing him.

"Anita released a break up TikTok. It's going viral."

As far as emergencies go, this one felt to Lando like a second-tier one. He was more concerned about the anxiety he felt coming from Y/N. Kind of wished she was kept out of it, for her own good.

"I'm sure we can address this in few hours," Lando replied calmly.

"She accused you of cheating. In a very colorful manner, I must say," the guy continued, as if he was not confident enough to fully explain the situation. "I'm in touch with her publicist, so that we can come up with a joint statement online. Apparently she won't talk to anyone but you."

Lando stayed silent, the only thing he really wanted was to close the door and return to the couch.

"We can't have another cheating scandal. McLaren will get involved," he pleaded once again in hopes of finally convincing Lando.

Deep breath. "Sure. Can I meet you at the lobby or somewhere in few minutes?" Lando caved in. A puzzled look flashed over his PR's manager, because usually Lando preferred to solve his crises in the comfort of his suite. The driver hoped no comment would come his way. After few seconds, the guy finally nodded.

"Understand, sure. I'll see if we can get the conference room."

He closed the door and tried to brace himself for any type of reaction Y/N might have. But deep inside he knew - seen it countless times. She abruptly got up, fixed her clothes, flashed him only one quick look before avoiding his face completely.

"Um, I'm gonna-"

"Yeah," he said, letting her pass by. The reality hit hard. She barely knew him. Somehow, the air got flooded with inescapable loneliness.

Y/N tried her best to follow her daily routine the following week. The memory of her running away from Lando's room like a little child chasing her like a nightmare. It was just so humiliating. The guilt, unjustified, was eating her up. She tried to stay away from social media, but her will was not strong enough. Late night scrolling included absorbing lot of Lando hate.

He also did his best to keep himself busy and focus on his job. If it had been any other person, he'd already be chasing Y/N down and try to reason with her, get this experience behind them and keep starting fresh. Perhaps he was lucky, that he knew her and if he's pushed immediately, she'd just hide even more.

He found himself on the track during free practice, constantly stealing glances over to the medical tents, just to get a glimpse of his guilt-ridden soulmate. All he wanted to do was shake some sense to her. That evening he finally snapped. No more hiding. He was about to get creative.

So there he was, alone once again, in a random hotel room, in a city he barely remembered the name of, trying to get a hand of morse code. Something he never thought would be his issue, ever. It was a shot in the dark. Pinch a message into his arm and hoping she'd understand his intention. After all, she felt his pain, so he figured if he was annoying enough, she'd have no choice but to show up. Many curse words were uttered about the absurdity and difficulty of it all, before Lando got a hand of it. He opted to focus on the rhytmn and after he felt confident enough, abandoned tapping into a table and began pinching his left hand.

Let's talk. Room 1014. Please.

Over and over again. It was so incredibly annoying. But, he was going to persevere even if it meant having a bruise tomorrow.

After what felt like like seven thousand years - a knock on the door.

This was it, he thought as he opened the door to equally annoyed person. She shot arrows from her eyes and he could not help but smirk. She cracked the code, but he won.

"Now, let's get one thing clear," she opened with, hands firmly on her hips, "you are not going to use this trick outside of an emergency. Ok?". Her face did this strange twitch, she obviously had a hard time admitting he won that round. He leaned over the door frame, not caving in to her anger. Stood like a patient anchor, waiting for the sea to calm down. She shifted her weight from one leg to another, failing at keeping her look so stern. It's been few days since they last locked eyes. She could practically sink in his. He just gave her a small nod, definitely not planning on misusing this ever again. Absolutely not.

"I'm glad you understood," he said and let her walk in. Was he nervous? That was probably the closest thing to describe it.

"I don't know the Morse code, so that made it super fun," she proclaimed and stopped in the middle of the living room, not sitting down on any of the chairs or couches.

"Me neither. But you better learn it, you never know..." he teased and walked dangerously close to her. She kept her gaze down.

She spoke before he could say any more cheeky lines. "So, I'm here. Anything specific you wanted to say that exceeded your ability of speaking in Morse code?" Her attitude hurt. However, he was not going to let her push him away so easily. "Y/N, this is not going to work on me. You can't push me away so easily, so just try and stop it. Please." Big gulp on her part followed by a light nod. "Good. Listen, I don't want to let this fizzle out so easily. It's hard to think about anything else once I've met you. I'm sorry about the whole break up mess. It's not fair to you. But, in my defense, I had no idea I'd just randomly be sat next to...you," he said, practically breathing out the last word.

She began walking frantically. "It's...um, it's a lot. Your world. And then the fact you seem to know things and are so far ahead in this game."

"It's not a game to me, Y/N," he said, watching her pace around the room.

She stopped by the bed and sat on it, finally able to look at him again. "Ok, bad word, but still," she paused and searched for the right words. "We have nothing to connect with...I mean nothing real."

Lando was not going to buy into doubts. His mind was set. Slowly, he walked towards her and sat next to her.

"Does it scare you? That you are tied to me basically against your will?" he asked the one thing he was afraid to hear the answer to. But he figured that the beginning was never suppose to be easy anyway.

"A little bit. Actually yes, it does," she said, in a strangely releaved tone and his heart sank just few stories lower. Lost in his own head, he nearly missed her giving up on sitting and landing on her back with a thud, eyes locked with the ceiling.

"I never liked being pushed into things. It's my life, I get to call the shots," she began to let her thoughts run freely.

"Choosing something that comes to you willingly does not have mean giving up your free will...I'd just like to at least give this a chance. I know already that I can't be your friend," he whispered, turned his look towards her and slowly lowered himself on his back as well, lost in his thoughts once again.

Lando's body laid still, but his heart was beating as if he was in the final quali lap. He had the advantage, drew the better card. Unique insight into another human's soul. Short cuts and few cheat answers for any test ahead of them. So why did it make him feel all the more lonely? He was reaching out, confused in the exact same capacity as she was, but she was not giving him much back. Yet. If was obvious. He was miles ahead of her, not thanks to his own doing. He could be there for her, but it would take some time and a lot of luck for her to be able to be there for her.

"Can you stay here? For the night?" he asked in a soft low voice, unable to hide his own vulnerability. "Not like, you know," he added immediately, hoping he comes off the least creepy as possible, "Just like this." Baby steps. He was praying for just that.

The body next to him also laid still in a very stiff manner, the exact opposite of relaxed. But the pull towards him was just too loud to resist. It was stronger than her. Curiosity tripped over the tiny fear inside her, grabbed the innate desire for human connection by the hand, and together opened the door for Lando to enter.

"Yes," she whispered, wondering if there is anything she wanted to add.

A small smile crept onto Lando's face. He got up and shot the light off. Both of them settled in a more relaxed pose, albeit still fully dressed. If by some miracle he manages to fall asleep, he will be waking up next to this magnificent, magical being for the first time. And hopefully not the last.

They laid next to each other, like the strangers they were, for few minutes, before she found her own little hand reaching out for his. Soft fingers mixed with his. At that moment, you could hear a pin drop. Lando's heart almost stopped, his breath caught in and resulted in gulp, too loud for the current setting. She could not help but smile and tried to hide it with pressing her lips together - even though it was dark night and both of them had their eyes closed. He mimicked her movements and traced her fingers as well. Every little place he touched burned with intoxicating intensity. He held her index finger lightly while she brushed up and down his thumb.

For the first time in years, Lando was careful. He'd rather lie next to her in silence than risking her wanting him to leave. The guilt from bruising her with his crash still hadn't left his mind. But when her hand crept more and more inside of his, he could not help but circle around it, until he was covering her hand completely. The air was still. Two scared souls discovering each other, tiptoeing around as if they were made of glass. Once Lando started drawing little circles on the palm of her hand, he finally felt her beginning to relax. He was still trying to get his mind wrapped around how the whole connection worked. Perhaps the more open she was to communicating with him, the more of a window he got. His next words slipped through without much of a thought.

"I've dreamt about you probably thousand nights."

Y/N could not recall the last time she heard a sentence that sounded so honest. Raw, it was almost childlike. She thought about her own countless nights when she slept alone and longed for a soul to crawl to. And also all those times she wasn't alone in the middle of the night, yet it still felt like eating someone else's dinner. The emptiness never truly filled. Hand never fitting someone else's like a well-fitted glove. Was there ever anyone who told her something like this before? Probably not. Of course not.

"I'm scared," she repeated.

"I know," he smirked for himself only. "I can feel it...But can you please tell me what's scaring you at this moment? I'd love to understand."

This time it was her who chuckled and squeezed his hand a bit. His heart once again beating so loudly he was scared she could hear it.

"I randomly meet this man, this devilisly handsome guy, who seems to know things I've never even told anyone, is hyperaware of my emotions, as if they were his own...How am I suppose to resist this?"

"Why would you?"

"If we proceed with this, I am basically allowing you to become a weapon designed to destroy me. If, or more likely when, I fall for you...How can anyone else ever top that? If you decide that you're bored with me, I'll quite literally only be left with bruises."

He listened to every word, as if it was a gospel, and this time took a second to calculate his response. Lando opened his eyes to try and see a glimpse of her face in the dead of night, only to find her already looking at him.

"As far as I remember, you were always a part of my life. The one constant that does not leave," he said and licked his dry lips. If she was becoming vulnerable, he'd have to do the same. "If I fuck this up, if you decide that I am not worth spending time with and if you walk away...I'll still be left with the glimpses. I'll have to watch from afar, knowing you don't feel this. Funnily enough, I'd argue that you have the option to choose. I don't."

"And do you even want it? Would you-" she tried to continue with her question, but he interrupted her immediately.

"Of course. Hundred times over. I know you're scared, but I am scared too. Because there is a perfect piece of puzzle right in front of me and if I fuck it up, I am ruined for life."

She only saw a small reflection of light in his eyes, but that was enough to understand he was serious. Her shoulders relaxed and she let a breath she didn't know she had been holding, out.

"Well, good to know you are a dramatic person," she responded, trying to lighten up the mood.

It worked, his small smirk entered the chat again. "Yeah well, get use to it," he said with a new found confidence, tried his luck once more and scooted over to her just a little bit.

"Sorry, there was a hard spot in the matrace," he said cheekily and closed his eyes, trying to play it cute.

His body heat radiated towards her. "Of course, a hard spot in this top-of-the-world matrace," she questioned his argument with a smile, his magic getting her head-over-heels.

"Yes, I'll complain with to the staff tomorrow, these things can really fuck up your sleep, you know."

"So true. And what, have you solved it now?" Another door opened. Lando smiled.

"Still not perfect," he remarked, pretended to have a moment to think and finally moved all the way next to her and put his arm around her. "Yeah, this is the only way I'm afraid."

She was glad his eyes were closed, because her smile was impossible to hide. Both of them were fully aware there is no hard spot on the matrace. "Of course it is," she commented, as she settled down in his embrace.

Her face was now settled in crook of his neck, her uneven breaths leaving goosebumps on his skin. His light stubble teasing her forehead. Once again, Lando was overwhelmed just how well she fit in his embrace. He had to actively try and breathe regularly, because he was anxious about giving away just how much he was enjoying having her in his embrace. Her hand was pressed against his chest and Y/N had to fight every cell in her body, because the urge to explore his body was overcoming her. Lando shifted a bit, having to to try and find a spot where his belt wasn't pressing on his body in a way that hurt. Immediately, he felt a sudden wave of guilt coming from her and she bolted straight up. Had he fucked it all up? He cursed himself, he should have just pushed through it.

He forgot to take in the fact she felt his pain. "What's wrong?" he asked shyly, as he also sat up to match her moves.

She took a deep breath. "I don't want to seem like I'm suggesting something, but can we get out of our daily clothes? I hate sleeping like that." Who would like that anyway, was the thought that crept into Lando's mind, but he kept it for himself, more than overjoyed that he didn't have to suggest that. "Sure, no problem."

"Do you have some t-shirt I could borrow?" she asked, turning on the light next to his bed, sitting with her back turned to him, perhaps trying to hide away. Lando tried his best not to get shaken up and loose his cool. This wasn't her running away and it was also not her suggesting anything.

"Of course," he said and got up to search up the best clean t-shirt her had. She took a deep breath as she tried not to stare, guessing by the sounds that he was getting undressed. But, as she did, she was happy he did not see her blush. Just like he did before, she forgot to take in account that he felt her sudden arousal and curiosity without having to look at her. For a change, he was happy he had his advantage. He peeked over to her, seeing her abrupt turn back. It was hard not to be amused by her.

"Here you go," he said as he strolled back over to her and handed her his t-shirt. "Don't worry, I won't look," he informed her and as the cheeky guy he was deep down, added his signature wink. "I'm sure there is an extra tooth brush in the bathroom, if you wanna join," he continued and walked over to the other side of the suite, hoping she was watching him walk around in boxers only.

Finally having some distance and a minute to contain herself, she carefully undressed, leaving on only her panties and his shirt on. Only then she noticed just how intoxicating his natural smell was. Knowing well enough she was doomed.

When Y/N finally joined him in the bathroom, he gave her the second toothbrush in silence and kept brushing his own teeth. It was refreshing seeing her in such an intimate setting. He tried as best as he could not to notice just how hot she looked in his t-shirt. Watching her in the reflection, he realized he never appreciated a moment like that with anyone else before. He smiled at her, because he could see her shy nature peeking through causing her hair behind her ear.

She was about to join him back in the bed when she saw him placed right in the middle of the bed, far from when was last time she approached him like that.

"It's the hard spot, there is no other way," he brushed over it nonchalantly and tucked himself in the bed. "Come on, here, here," he patted a spot next to him. In the dim light, with shadows only highlighting his toned chest, curly hair falling over to his eyes, innocent smile and opened arms, he was like a mystical creature created only to entrap Y/N. At least, that's how that felt. No way back.

She slipped in the bed with him, to the exact position as they were just minutes ago and turned of the light once again. This time, Lando was way more relaxed even Y/N noticed the difference. With each passing moment it was becoming less and less stiff or awkward. Comfort replacing natural stress of sharing a bed with a stranger for the first time. For a brief second, it was as if they'd done this every night before drifting off to sleep. Lando was happy to take things slow. Not expecting anything more. He was content with knowing she was not planning on leaving him there alone that night and that was enough. Not for Y/N. Her body was acting way before her mind could stop her. Her now warm fingers started drawing little stars on his exposed chest. It was peaceful. Until her finger moved a little lower. Another gulp from Lando. She felt him tightening his grip on her.

"Careful now...I might get the wrong idea," he breathed out for only her to hear.

Their lips were so riddiculously close, yet too far away. The only thing she wanted to do was kiss him. All restraint suddenly gone. But she needed to be sure - did he wanted to kiss her? If she dared to ask him, he'd laugh out loud at the obviousness of it all. Poor guy didn't notice her desire because he spent all of his energy trying to hide his.

She licked her lips. "Wrong idea...like sending me away?"

Loud sigh from Lando. "No..the wrong wrong idea," he whispered, being so close to her she could feel his soft breath, as he started to move his hard up her arm, under the t-shirt he gave her. She became very aware of the fact she was not wearing a bra, something Lando noticed the moment she came to the bathroom. His arm stopped momentarily at her shoulder. " Wrong idea that you want me to do this..." he continued moving his hand again, "...or this," reached up to her collarbone while pressing her closer to him with his other arm. "Or heaven forbid..." he whispered a question as his lips were nearly touching hers. Lando was too scared to make the first move, still afraid she might vanish into thin air.

She was brave enough to close the gap. "Or this." With that, she kissed him.

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@ushygushybaby

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stevie-petey · 17 days ago

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hi!! can we get a cute fluffy stug blurb to deal with all the angst? your writing is genuinely so incredible i get scared to read a new chapter bc i don’t want to see them suffer but your writing is so so so good it just draws me in completely. I hope you’re proud of come home bc it’s INCREDIBLE i don’t think i’ve read anything related to steve that i love more. and the blurbs?? what else could we ask for omg you’re giving us EVERYTHING

hi dear !! i was savin a fluffy request for when we needed one, and i think after these last few days ,,,, some cute bickering between robin, steve, dustin, and bug is needed.

enjoy <3

"your boyfriends late."

"the bell rang like, five seconds ago."

"hes still late."

robin rolls her eyes at dustin while you shove him off the curb. he yelps in surprise and you snicker. "watch your step, dusty."

"do not call me that." he glares at you, straightening his hat. hes shot up at least three inches since this summer and soon he'll be your height and not so easy to shove onto the street.

"children, please." robin sighs exhaustedly. "i have a four hour shift ahead of me. can we save the arguing for later?"

"she started it!" dustin exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger at you while you point at him and shout, "he started it!"

a car pulls up behind the two of you. "whatever youre arguing about, im on y/n's side."

steve pokes his head out through his rolled down window. hes wearing his stupidly cheesy raybands that youve come to adore. smiling at you, he sends you an air kiss. "miss me?"

dustin thwacks the teens nose, eliciting a very unattractive screech to fall from steves lips. "never do that again."

your brother then gets into the back of the car while you and robin giggle hysterically. she has to clutch onto your arm to avoid toppling over in her laughter. youre no better yourself, snorting with every quick inhale of breath.

"tha' wasn' funny," steve holds his nose while he tilts his head back. hes worried the shithead gave him a bloody nose, but all you and robin can focus on is how nasally his voice is now.

the two of you laugh even harder, and all steve can do is flick you off and pout.

"you guys are assholes." he grumbles, finally starting the car after you and robin collect yourselves.

"im sorry, honey." you press a soft, gentle kiss to the tip of steves nose. "is that better?"

of course your kiss made steve feel infinitely better. but he isnt an idiot. hes aware of the audience in his car. theres no way hes giving dustin and robin even more ammunition against him.

"not answerin' that."

dustin snorts. "oh, so now hes smart not to flirt with you in front of me."

"why are you even in my car?"

"why are you even dating my sister?"

robin raises her hand. "i have an even better question: why am i being driven to my shift that starts in five minutes?"

"thats a great question, robin." your body turns to the one next to you. "steve, care to answer?"

steve waves a sarcastic hand at you, but he pulls out of the school parking lot anyways. you, robin, and dustin cheer. though steves eyebrows are knit in annoyance, you know hes secretly elated as well. its rare to have a day at family video with you and dustin alongside him and robin.

with your shifts at the bookstore and dustins growing fascination with eddie, its nice to just have some time with one another. family video always feels bleaker without the hendersons.

"alright, what has horny heather selected this week?" dustin makes himself at him behind the video counter. long having memorized the systems password, he easily logs into the stores rental catalogue.

horny heather is the name youve given one of family videos most frequent customers. shes an older women with a bizarre fixation for movies with attractive male leads. it wouldnt be so bizarre if it werent for the fact that she regularly rewinds to every single shirtless scene the movies contains.

and every nude scene.

sometimes you hate how much family video knows about its customers.

you plop down next to dustin. "my money is on anything with tom cruise. she seems to have a thing for brunettes."

"and who can blame her?" steve flicks his hair out of his face. "we're obviously the best."

robin throws her jacket at him. "stop drooling over yourself. its unbecoming for a young man."

"dude, you sound like my mom."

"jokes on you. your mom is totally a babe," robin bats her eyelashes at him. "im taking that as a compliment."

steve blanches at this, completely disgusted and offended. he looks at you incredulously. "you hearing this? she just called my mom a babe. thats-thats just so wrong-"

"your mom is pretty hot." you shrug at steve. "sorry, honey. im on robins side."

robin high fives you, snickering in victory. steves jaw drops in pure astonishment. hes speechless. he cant believe youd betray him like this. he cant believe you think his own mother is hot.

dustin looks at the scene before him and shakes his head. you guys are being totally immature. "cmon, guys. thats just wrong."

steve waves his arms out at the kid. "see? thank you, little henderson. god, i cant believe youre the only one here with any sense left-"

"of course, buddy!" dustin smiles wickedly at him. "its silly for y/n and robin to call your mom hot. we all know its really your dad is way hotter."

"what-?" steve gasps for air.

"his broodiness is hot, isnt it?" you grab dustins arm excitedly. "i mean, hes just so stoic. so stern."

robin pretends to faint. "its so... manly."

steve goes to the corner and screams.

which just so happens to be the same corner a poor, old woman is browsing in.

he ends up getting hit with her cane.

its a good day.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington blurb #ask #anon #m speaks #come home blurb #set in between seasons 3 and 4 !#m's writing #BRING DUSTIN AND STEVE HOME U COWARDS :((((((#i miss my boys :(#anyways in my head steves parents are total hotties

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summerlovingbaby · 3 months ago

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Dr.

It was all over the news, most of the pro’s were dealing with a mass causalty event, and those who weren’t were pursuing a suspect who could stop it. He set up bombs all over the city, and buildings were collapsing around them, but those were just warning shots. Proof that he could do what he promised, because most of the buildings that fell were empty and abandoned, all but one. A public mall that was bustling with people that morning, but by the afternoon it was a pile of concrete and flesh, and most pro hero’s were attempting to save what they could only assume were very few survivors.

Though a few of the top heroes were tracking down the main suspect, and they found him in a matter of hours, hopping from rooftop to rooftop. Deku, Dynamite, Red Riot and Shoto had him surrounded on the rooftop, and it wasn’t until they say him that they knew the exact depth of his plan. His name was Evil Eye, and though his name was rather simple, it was true. Most people said he had the eye of the devil, able to see exactly what would go wrong, and how to manipulate it in his favor.

Evil Eye, otherwise known as Shayfer smiled and licked his teeth, “ well it took you guys long enough,” he breathed putting his hands behind his head and interlacing his fingers, “ finally caught me,” he smiled, “ are you proud?”

Bakugou let his palms catch on fire, not believing that he would allow himself to be so easily captured.

“ You should know,” he said coyly, “ that this is only the beginning, you make take me down now, but the carnegie has only begun,” he sucked in a loud breath and let a loud witch like cackle out of his mouth, “ children, such a precious thing, how society protects them, it would be quite the shame if something happened to about 34 of them,”

Deku’s eyes widened, and he lowered his fist, “ The bus!” he exclaimed, “ the bus that went missing this morning.”

A school bus went missing this morning, and while the pro’s spent the better part of the morning looking for them before the mall collapsed and hell broke lose in the city. They assumed the bus went missing in the chaos and when things settled the bus would appear, that was their hope at least. But now knew that this was a delicately crafted plan, to cause just as much chaos as he wanted, just because he could.

“ So what, we let you go, and you tell us where the bus is, or the bus blows up?” Bakugou asked.

“ That is if they don’t drown first,” he said with a bizarre smile, his eyes looked to the sky, searching through the clouds, “ well 32 of them will drown, the twins who can breathe underwater, they will suffocate as the run out of oxygen,” he said.

“ Where is the bus?” Todoroki asked calmly, he let his hand turned to ice, and it soon became clear that he would not be asking the question again.

“ Oh, no no no, that's no fun,” he smiled again, “ in the bus is a map, to where I’ve hid all the bombs in the city, and this morning there may have been limited casualties, but the rest of the week will look like the mall, but feel so much worse, and you will wish that you suffocated to death.”

Bakougo took a step foreward but found his feet stuck to the tar of the roof, his body felt rigid, only able to move his neck, he turned to his team to find them in the same predicament. Deku was gritting his teeth and activating his quirk to its full power, Red Riot turned himself to stone, but remained stuck, and all Shoto could do was build blocks of ice and shoot them in the air without having to move at all, a move he had been working on.

“ Well, I would love to stay and chat, but I’ve got to go,” he said looking up, it became evident what he was searching for because it was obvious that he was looking for a helicopter, he pointed to the sky, “ My ride is here,” he said.

Turning on his heels, he skipped to the edge and took a running jump to dive off the roof and caught the latter in his fingertips, he pulled himself up and hooked his heels on the rope latter, along with his elbow, to turn and smile.

Todoroki allowed one last large ice block to shoot from his hand, it collided with the tale of the copter causing it to spin uncontrollably. Shayfer lost his balance and slipped form the rope, and the pilot fell from the cockpit, and hit the blades of the of the helicopter, slicing up his stomach before the helicopter dropped from the sky along with Shayfer, and went up it flames.

Todoroki dived after them, being able to move and fireproof, using his ice to slide to the ground and sift through the molten plates of metal and bits of broken glass to pull a lifeless Shayfer one. He was barley breathing, and most of his skin was covered in hot blisters and boils that started to pop.

“ He’s still alive,” he said.

“ GET HIM TO MIDNIGHT MEMORIAL!” Bakugou shouted.

It was where the best doctors worked, and he had just the doctor in mind to help with this suspect. Shayfer could not die, not only did the lives of 34 children depend on it, but the fate of the city as well.

Todoroki built a tower of ice to the building roof and handed his body to Bakugou who tossed him over his shoulder and took flight in the direction of the hospital.

Y/N was splinting an arm, when the smell of burning human flesh invaded her senses, a smell she would never forget. She turned around to find her husband standing in the middle of the busy ER, with what looked to be a burned corpse over his shoulder.

“ Y/N,” he shouted, “ Y/N HELP HIM,” he shouted.

“ Someone bring me a gurney,” Y/N spoke, running over to Bakugou, she placed two fingers to the side of his neck, nearly flinching at the feel of his blistered skin on hers. “ BRING ME A GURNEY,” she said louder.

A nurse rolled one over to him, and Bakugou placed Shayfer on top of it. Y/N began to bark around various orders to nurses, who ran off in opposite directions, returning moments later with dangerous looking medical supplies.

“ Get him hooked up to monitors and prepare a crash cart, his pulse is thready,” she shouted out. She saw a nurse out of the corner of her eye, roll a set of monitors next to him, and place leads on his chest. “What happened to him, was he in the mall?” She said rather calmly despite the situation.

Bakuguo could only stare until a firm grip to the shoulder seemed to spark something in him.

“ I need you to tell me what happened.” she stated again.

“ You have to save him,” he demanded, “ you have to.”

“ I need a size 8 ET tube and a scope,” she turned to the nurse next to her, “ and type and cross his blood, we might need it,” she turned back to Bakugou and Kirishima, “ Glad you two are alive, now tell me what happened?”

“ Helicopter crash,” Kirishima said. “ You have to save him,” he added. She smiled, glad to see both her boys okay, minus a few cuts and bruises they seemed not to be dying, and she couldn’t help but smile. They had known eachother since highschool, and ave been in a relationship for 7 years, and she couldn’t manage to think of a life without them.

She hated their job, but understood. Understood the urge to save people, to help people, and she couldn’t ask them to stop because that’s what she loved about them. They saved people out there, in the harsh reality of the world. And she saved them behind the safety of the four walls of the hospital. Everyone helped best they could..

“ I don’t intend on letting anyone die, not in my ER.” she said with a challenging smile.

She was head of the ER and she took each death personally, whether they were her patient or not. She was a good doctor, and though she had no quirk, she still wanted to help people. Being a hero was out of the question so she went through 8 years of 6, and 6 years of specialized trauma training to become the best trama sergon in the nation, often operating on fallen heroes, and injured civilians. Being the capitol of most villians she saw her fair share of bad trauma, and though she could save most of them, she couldn’t save them all. She was a good doctor, but those deaths haunted her.

“ You really can’t let him die, he has hostages,” Bakugou said. “ 34 kids,” he specified, “ please don’t let him die,” he said again.

A loud beep sounded from the monitors, and a steady green line striking across the screen, let them know that his heart had stopped. Y/N looked at them with her calm eyes, and started to twitch slightly. One life under her knife was one, but 35 was an unatinable number to her, she gave them a spacy nod, and turned back to the burned body, still and lifeless, boiling blisters still popping out of his skin.

“ Start bagging,” she said to a nurse, “ and start comprsssions, light and easy, we don’t want his chest caving in, or those blisters peeling off the skin,” she said to another nurse who immediately began compressions. “ I need an ultrasound for his chest and abdomen, and call up for an OR,” she said.

His heart still didn’t start, so she charged the paddles and placed them on his chest. “ Charge to 200,” she said, “ CLEAR,” she yelled. Everyone withdrew contact with the body, and the paddles sent electricity through his body, giving it one sudden jerk, “ push 2 of epi,” she said, she watched the monitor, held her arms out, and a slow beep resumed on the monitor.

Using his arms she pressed arond his abdomen, it was rock hard, and blood was spilling from every oraphus. “ He’s bleeding out,” she said aloud. She pressed the ultrasound to his stomach and sucked her teeth.

“ Where?” said one of the nurses.

“ Spleen, liver, pancreas,” she listed, she moved the wand to his chest and shook her head with disappointment, “ his chest is rumbling, it’s probably been aggravated by the smoke, and his lung is filling with blood,” she said, “lift his legs,” she called out to know one, “and ready a chest tube, one airway isn’t enough we need to get rid of the blood in his lungs so he has a chance of getting oxygen to his stomach,” she said. “ We need to let some of the blood from his stomach before he goes into multi-system organ failure and dies of sepsis.” Using a scalpel she sliced a small line in the bottom of his stomach, causing it to bleed profusely.

The boys watched aimlessly and helpless. They were sore and their body ached, and if they could guess by Y/N’s tone things were not looking good.

Y/N cut a hole in his chest and blood spurted out of it with every heart beat, Y/N shook her head. “ Take him to a trauma room, we won’t make it to an OR,” she said loudly. Everyone seemed to understand, and nodded at her with a certain grim determination.

“ YOU CAN’T GIVE UP, THE CITY NEEDS HIM ALIVE,” Bakugou yelled, and Y/N ignored him, her eyes focusing on the tube in his chest, he flatlined again,

“ Gown and glove me,” she said, sparing him a second glance“ Get a portable CT, to scan his head, make sure he doesn’t have any brain injuries, I’m not gonna save his life for him to get a delayed brain bleed and croak,” she said, hopping onto the gurney and straddling, holding pressure to the wound, because he was bleeding out quicker than she anticipated, “ now move this gurney,” a nurse rolled the gurney to the nearest trauma room.

The boys trailing behind her reminding her of the fact that was pouding away at her skull. The city depended on him making it out of this alive, therefore they depend on her, and she didn’t need a single reminder of that upsetting fact. Shayfer was hanging on by threads, as Y/N ran through every possible situation in her head, and each was more dire than the last, each more bloody and ending in a quiker death.

Even if she could somehow stop the bleeding, she knew that most of his organs were severely damaged, and based on his ribs, which were poking out in every different , and probably poking holes in his lungs and based on the ultrasound, jagged piece was stabbing directly into his heart wall and shredding through the ventricle. Which each beat of his heart, tore it even more.

She turned to one of the nurses, and motioned to her husbands. Standing there, looking at her with love, care and a bit of desperation. “Get me 6 nurses and get them out of here,” she said.

She didn’t know if she would be able to stand the way they looked at her if she let this man die, because if he died, 34 children did, and they would no longer look at her the same.

“ You have to-”

“ I know I have to save him because not only is a bus full of children depending on me, but it turns out the greater city is as well, and I cannot focus on saving this mans life if I’m concerned with you, or worry about how you’re gonna look at me after if I can’t save him, because right now you’re not looking at me like I’m saving one man’s life, but 35, so please leave, because as long as you’re looking at me like that, as long as you’re staring at me, I can’t help but think about what happens if this man dies on my table ” she shouted, and before they knew it they were being ushered to a small room where a sweet nurse attended to their injuries.

6 hours later, Y/N staggered into the room, trauma gown covered in blood and skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat, she sniffled as she staggered into the room, and leaned on the wall, panting loudly. She leaned her head back on the wall, and bent at the knee slowly sliding down the wall, ripping off the blood soaked gown, and bursting into tears.

She clawed at her neck trying to breathe.

“ Is he-”

Y/N began to whimper, and Bakugou burst from the room and into the trauma room where Y/N operated to find Shayfar still covered in burns and stitches, upright and glaring at Hitoshi, who was demanding the location of the bus. Hitoshi was speaking over the radio, to a SWAT team, who was finding the exact location of the bus and the children, alive and well, along with maps to the still remaining bombs.

Bakugou stubbled out of the room, and back into the old one, where Y/N crawled into Eijors lap, trying to breathe.

“ You saved him honey, you saved him,” Bakougou said.

“ What if I couldn’t?” she asked, “ What if I couldn’t and all those kids died, he almost bled out on my table 12 different times, he flatlined 4 times, it was a miracle that hes still alive.”

“ No, you’re just good at what you do,” Bakugou corrected, “ you saved him because you are a good doctor.”

“ You would never look at me the same if he died,” she whimpered.

“ Nothing would ever stop us from loving you,” Bakugou said, stroking the top of her and rubbing her back.

“ We all do the best we can, we all save who we can,” Kirishima added, “ and as long as you try you’re best. We all just try our best.”

#mha #my hero academia #bhna #kirishima eijirou #mha x reader #my hero fanfic #my hero manga #kirishima x reader #kiri #my hero acedamia #kiribaku x reader

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r0tting-rat · 1 month ago

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DCA PROMPTOBER 2024

I'm finally not sick anymore! Yeppee! Enjoy some fluff now (btw this Moon can be interpreted as an android or as a human, idk you choose, I just wanted to write something with the human design I made for him)

Day 12 - Carousel

Pairing: Human/Android!Moon x GN reader Warning: None Words: 2700+ Summary: Moon asked you out on a date (u lucky bastard)

The night breeze was cold as ice, it froze the blood in your veins and made you violently shiver in your winter coat, but despite the polar temperature your heart had never felt warmer. Moon had asked you to go on a date with him and for the last 3 hours you had been roaming around aimlessly in your house, trembling with excitement, struggling to find the right outfit, the right accessories, the right words to speak and thank him. You had gotten ready very early and ended up having to wait for the hour to pass with nothing to do, staring at your TV without actually looking at any of the movies that were being broadcasted in occasion for the winter holidays, so at some point you decided to simply get out and wait for your date outside your house. Bad mistake, considering the temperature outside, but at least you were going to see him as soon as his car pulled up into your driveway.

The night had long befallen the small town, everyone was cuddled cozily in their homes and no sound could be heard in the streets except for the rumblings of the few cars that still wandered deep into the evening. Hurricane had never been famous for its events, there was just one mall and a kids playground, so you weren’t sure where Moon was going to take you. He was a bizarre guy, so you couldn’t really rule out any possibility. He had told you about some of the excursions he had come with his brother and they did the weirdest things, from going climbing with goats on a random Tuesday to visiting a museum on the history of Monopoly the day after.

You looked at your watch; it was around midnight, so Moon was about to come in… half an hour. Shit, the guy also gave you the weirdest hours to meet up. He was a night owl, so you’d wake up in the morning to go to work with fresh memes he had sent to you during the night.

With your big surprise a car suddenly stopped right in front of your driveway, loudly breaking like the driver had almost missed the house, and an absolutely adorable Moon came out in a hurry. Seeing you, his eyes widened in surprise.

-Shit, I’m… Hi! W-Why are you already outside?!- he asked, breathing heavily. He was dressed in dark cargo jeans, a button up covered in stars of many shapes and sizes and a long winter coat. With it he was wearing a black belt to accentuate his nice waist, his usual beanie and a dark blue scarf. You noticed he was hiding something behind his back.

-Hi, I… I was getting bored waiting inside,- you smiled, walking closer to him, -Hope you don’t mind.-

-N-No! No, absolutely not, it’s just that you must be freezing!- one of his hands came to grab one of yours, attempting to warm your cold fingers, while the other stayed behind his back. What was he hiding you didn’t know, but you suddenly wanted to thank the weather because Moon had never looked so beautiful. His nose was red, just like his cheeks, and his eyes looked bright in the night. You observed the few freckles that dusted his nose—Moon’s skin was dark, but almost half of his face was as white as milk due to the vitiligo, so you could make out some of the dots that you always dreamed of kissing on his beautiful face.

-You look amazing,- he whispered, pulling you close to his body, and you would have complimented him back if he hadn’t interrupted you, -I came early because I wanted to surprise you.-

-Really?- you giggled, throwing your arms behind his neck and brushing your nose against his.

-Yes. my plan was to sneak to your door, ring your doorbell,- his breath was hot on your lips, ghosting over your skin, temping as ever, -Then sneak away before you could open.-

-Why?- you asked, confused but intrigued.

-So I could get in through a window or something while you were distracted,- he replied, -You know, like people do in movies.-

-You mean like serial killers do?- you laughed, parting enough from his hug so you could look as his smile, -Like fucking Ghostface or something? Am I going out with a psycho?-

-Oh, no, Comet! I’m actually a very romantic person,- he said, revealing what he was hiding behind his back; a bouquet of blue, purple and white moonflowers.

-Y-You’re not serious!- you gasped, looking at the flowers presented in front of you, -You didn’t…!-

-I did,- he said with a sly smile, looking proud of himself, -Now, what’s your favorite scary movie?-

Moon tried to kiss you but you swiftly pulled away, laughing, running away from him and to his car. He tried to follow, but almost slipped on the frozen grass of your yard.

-Careful!- you laughed, getting into the passenger seat of his car, -The flowers will have to wait before I put them in a vase, I want to know what you have set up for me.-

-Oh, I promise you will like it,- he said, finally regaining his balance enough to wobble to the car and slip in, -It’s a beautiful place, I discovered it last week.-

-Are you gonna tell me anything else?- you asked, leaning closer to tease him, but this time he was the one to push you away.

-Nope, stay put and behave now, you animal.-

☆

The gates of the abandoned amusement park were rusty, bent and old, looking like relics of an old and forgotten time, when joy and laughs were the norm in that damned city. Now very few people lived in Hurricane, but you and Moon still managed to cut out a piece for you to live in and have fun, away from the problems of daily life. You have had a crush on him for months, never gaining enough courage to turn your friendly teasing and flirting into a reality, but one day he had surprised you first, asking you to go on a date with him. If you hadn’t known him for almost a year already, you would have never accepted meeting someone at midnight and following them into an unspecified second location, but Moon… was Moon, and he and his brother were the most amazing people you had ever met.

You stared up at the gates, which were already open and inviting you to come in, feeling both amazed and a little scared. You turned to look at Moon.

-Are you serious?- you asked, still holding on your bouquet like an anchor, -What if there’s someone else inside?!-

There could be all kinds of dangerous people hiding in there, the whole park had fallen into ruin more than a decade before and even the cops didn’t come to check anymore, it was completely abandoned. People weren’t even the biggest problem! You looked through the bars of the gate, at the old mirror maze, at the haunted house and ferris wheel, thinking about all the things that could break, fall, and injure…

-Hey,- Moon hugged you from behind, bringing you away from your thoughts, -There’s nothing you have to worry about, this place has been forgotten by almost anyone, not even junkies come here. Also, we don’t care about any of those stupid places right now, because our aim is…-

One of his hands held one of yours and brought it up in front of your eyes, proceeding to use your finger to point to a place far on your right. Detached from all the rest, almost alone in all of its glory, stood the most beautiful vintage carousel you had ever seen in your life.

-Right there,- said Moon, -That’s where we’ll go.-

You gasped, beginning to walk towards it, but the man behind you stopped you before you could take another step. He tugged you by the sleeve of your jacket, pulling you back into his warm and welcoming arms.

-Don’t you forget something?- he said, pointing at his lips, -Like showing your gratitude to a certain someone?-

Smirking, you got on your tiptoes so your lips could brush against his, chapped in the cold night air. You were still trembling, but not for the cold.

-I’ll consider if I should thank you after the end of this date,- you whispered, -Promise.-

Letting you go, Moon threw his head back and laughed loudly. Between you and him things had always been in that way, and honestly, you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. The constant banter kept your heart ablaze 24/7, making you burn even hotter for him every day.

Hurrying down the paved street of the abandoned park, you slid past old ticket booths, food stalls and random attractions, ignoring everything and focusing on the carousel only. Your eyes didn’t leave it for one second, and the closer you got the more you fell in love with it. The carousel was much bigger than you had first imagined; silver and blue, covered in tinted glass and beautiful vintage decoration, with pictures of animals, children and jesters running and dancing around with joy. The colors had long faded, the blue had taken a more cerulean tint and many of the glasses were shattered or rusted, but it all added to his magnificent aura. The carousel had two floors; a lower one, with white and black horses towing large and luxurious chariots, and a higher one which you could get access by a flight of stairs. Up you saw cats, fishes and bunnies of the same size as the horses.

-Moon, this…- you gawked at the spectacle before you, mesmerized, -This is beautiful!-

-I had a very similar reaction the first time I had seen it,- Moon smiled, looking down at you, -It truly is the most beautiful thing in existence, yeah?-

His eyes were soft, gentle, full of love. With their heat you feared they were going to melt your heart and turn it into a puddle of indistinguishable mass at the bottom of your stomach, so you turned your head away. In response, one of Moon’s hands sneaked up to your head and ruffled your hair, ruining the lovely moment, because of course he had to do something like that.

-Go and choose a horse, okay? The most beautiful one,- he nodded towards the carousel, -I’ll join you in just a second.-

For a second you wondered what he was planning to do, but excitement quickly distracted you from your previous thoughts and brought you back to the sight before your eyes. Giggling, you did as Moon had asked, jumping on the carousel and looking at each of the animals, admiring their faded mane and missing ears. With their peeled eyes the horses looked rather creepy, they made you feel like they were staring directly at you, but for some reason you didn’t feel scared. It could be that Moon was close to you, so you had nothing to fear about, but their bared teeth looked more like smiles under the moonlit sky rather than grins.

You found a big horse with a beautiful dappled cloak, black and white, and when you looked into its eyes you saw that his muzzle had survived the challenges of the winds and rain, proudly showing smart and shining eyes which held a kind and joyful expression. You decided that this mightful steed was going to be your ride for the night, so you hopped on, making sure that your jacket covered your freezing ass before checking your bouquet of flowers. Everything seemed still in order, so you patiently waited for Moon, who was nowhere in sight.

Turning around, you looked behind you and even up at the second floor of the carousel, but the dark-skinned man was nowhere to be seen. Worried, you began to call his name, but no answer followed. Right as your heart was beginning to grow filled with fear and you decided to jump down the fake horse to go look for him, the lights of the carousel flickered to life around you and a distorted music began to play from the speakers. Startled, your head snapped from one side to the other, trying to make out what was happening, but then the ride began to move under you and you screamed. Your feet lost footing as the horse went up, into the air, before slowly beginning a gradual descent towards the ground. The entire ride was moving, humming a gentle and festive motif in a voice which hadn’t been used in many years, and while some of the light bulbs decorating the carousel had stopped working, most were in good enough conditions to blind you, searing a shadow into your retina.

-Do you like it?- screamed Moon, who was looking at you from the ground, pleased.

-You bastard!- you yelled back, -Come here right now!-

What the fuck had he done?! The man jumped onto the moving carousel and began to move through the animated animals, dodging hooves and tails, slowly making his way to you with a wide grin on his face.

-Did you do this?- you asked as soon as he was close enough so you didn’t have to scream over the music. Moon nodded, and you swore you would have slapped and kissed him at the same time, hadn’t you been holding on the plastic ears of your horse. -How?! How did you…?-

You couldn’t form coherent sentences anymore, that man had just killed your brain and turned it into soup, nothing you could say would have conveyed every emotion you felt in that moment.

-I found a way yo restart it just yesterday,- explained Moon, hanging from the pole attached to your horse’s back for support, -The moment I learned it could still sing, I thought it was finally worthy enough for you to see.-

A smile opened on your lips and you had to fight back some tears, but you still managed to speak.

-I would have loved it anyway.-

-I know, but I want only the best for my Comet.- Moon’s hand rested on your cheek, pulling your face closer to his, -I would bring this entire park back to life if you just told me to do so.-

The night was cold, the horse you were sitting on was cold, but your face and hands were feverish. Even Moon’s skin, which was usually freezing for your standards, felt hot under your fingertips when you brought him closer as well. You kissed his lips, lulled by the gentle movements of the carousel, and enjoyed the music surrounding you like a blanket. Moon’s lips felt right on yours, tasted right, like they belonged on yours, so when you had to pull away to breath you felt the immediate urge to kiss him once more.

-Do I have to make a miracle of engineering every time I want a kiss from you?- Moon asked, breathing heavily after the long kiss, ruining the perfect moment with another one of his dumb jokes, -Because, I mean, it’s not as easy as I made it out to be! It took me a lot, you know?-

-Oh, shut the fuck up, please!- you laughed, grabbing his scarf and pretending to tighten it around his throat.

-Make me,- he teased, grabbing the back of your head and pulling you in another kiss.

The carousel must have finished its ride, because the horse both of you had been holding on slowly began to stop moving and the platform under your feet came to a stop, but the lights and the music only dimmed.

The entire park was quiet, lonely, but your little carousel was as good as new. On it, you and Moon hummed its music and danced to the rhythm, holding one in the arms of the other, with your head resting on his chest and his hands around your waist. You danced on the still carousel, forgetting the world outside, only conscious of the present you were holding in your hands, living in the moment like the night could never turn to day.

When you were with Moon, at least, the nights would always be endless, like a never ending dream, like his sole presence could make you fall into a coma and bring you into a land of love and beauty. Moon was your personal Morpheus, your Sandman, and you loved him more than anything in this wretched earth.

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weirdmarioenemies · 1 year ago

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This is a post about GUBBLE

Gubble is funny, we all know this. Look at Gubble, look and giggle. But Gubble is not just something to laugh at, it is something to laugh WITH! It is a fun little game full of nonsense words and weird little creatures. I highly recommend reading the manual, which you can find here, as it is actually rather funny! I will be talking about some of my favorite Gubble Creatures! So here I am, posting a Gubble. It's Friday, alright!

Gubble D. Gleep

Oh hell yeah! Look at that rendering. I never want to see Gubble in a "good" rendering style. I don't think he would be able to breathe. Gubble is the main Gubble Creature. He is a funny alien! The gleep glorp kind! He has a wacky skin color and antennae, but his big defining features are his ears, which he is very proud of. I do not know how they work! It is weird to see an alien with antennae AND ears, since I always assume alien antennae are for detecting sound, but maybe Gubble's are like regular animal antennae, and are for smelling!

Gubble makes all sorts of weird noises as he flies around in his, I quote, "mini-spaceship pod thing". He uses that to unscrew screws and pry out nails and anything else he needs to do to detach Zymbots from the surface of the planet Rennigar, and Zymbots are the levels, and you see the word "Zymbot" a LOT in this game, and I think that is wonderful.

They even put "Zymbot" on the cover of the sequel! That only makes the information more confusing than it otherwise would have been. I am all for it! But what awaits you, among the Zymbots...?

Wangry Wobot

"They are red and they are angry. Unfortunately, they don't know what they are angry about, but they know they like to follow aliens around."

Look at this! See what I mean? The manual is so delightful! Wangry Wobot... such a wonderful name! This wobot is wangry... or I should say, this wobot is angry, because the description informs us that it is angry, and Wangry Wobot is its name. All it does is walk, but in a funny way, with those legs sliding back and forth on its body, not bending or anything. I love how flat and minimalist this thing is. Built and programmed just to walk around, yet built with the capacity for anger...

Wangry Wobot Wannabee

"They are not-quite-red (blue actually), but they want to be every bit as angry as the Wangry Wobots. They haven’t learned how to follow aliens yet, so they just wander around aimlessly. Pathetic, really, but oh well…"

Hey! Be nice to them! If Wangry Wobot is Gubble's Goomba, then the Wannabee is Gubble's Goombrat. These are even more endearing with their personality! They look up to Wangry Wobots so much, like a younger sibling or maybe even a child, a freshly hatched robot from a metal egg. I wish we had funny robots like this in real life, but the only ones they make in real life these days are evil. Hopefully it will one day be economically feasible to fund some funny robots that walk around town and do literally nothing but kind of get in the way. Would be cool!

FlatWorm

"These guys like to sneak up on you unnoticed and cause grief and misery."

Wow! I would not have expected to see notable Creature Representation in Gubble of all things, but here we have a platyhelminth that at least I think is pretty clearly a stylized planarian! This one is a funny shape, like a shoehorn, and has a funny depth to it, like it was cut out of a sheet of dough. Now, normally I would be telling you that no animal is morally bad, they don't have the capacity for it, but we are told in FlatWorm's description that it is, indeed, messed up and evil. Just get away from it, please! Get back to the zymbot! Had you forgotten about the zymbot?

Orb

"They just roam around over your head. They're orbs, ya know?"

I am not sure I know! But they are cool orbs! Good job making some orbs! Their eyes make them look like giant ostracods, the most orbtastic creature of all!

Slug Bug

"An example of the bizarre Rennigar fauna. Man, somebody must have gone pop-eyed when that monster was created."

Created??? These creatures were Created??? Even the non-mechanical ones? By who? Mad scientists? Gubble God? I don't know! Whoever it was, I don't think they know what a slug is, though. Pincers, segments, bristles, this is all bug, no slug! Like some kind of larva to me. The five eyes are goofy, but most insects technically do have five eyes, with two compound eyes and three little ocelli on top!

Drone

"Originally used as repair drones, these spidery-looking things will use their pinchers on you just as effectively. Stay out of their reach!"

Look, it's Drone! Like they keep putting in the cartoons to keep them timely! I am fascinated by the manual for calling these "spidery-looking", since it is clearly some kind of roboshark head with pinchy claws. Did you know? Real spiders do not look like robosharks! However, I am not saying the manual is WRONG. Maybe "spider" means something entirely different than the way we Earthlings use it. After all, we say "level" instead of "zymbot", like a bunch of knuckleheads!

Uurrgghh

"The stories go that the Uurrgghhs used to be somebody's eyes and were stolen. Now they roam back and forth looking for their owner. And if they can't find their owner, you would do as well. Want a pair of alien eyes?"

I will bookend this post with another of the silliest enemy names. We really go from Drone right to Uurrgghh. Awesome! Uurrgghh is almost a fantasy creature, a classic eyeball with bat wings, but it has this cool metal exoskeleton or helmet with droopy horns, and three tentacles emerging from the bottom, so it is also fittingly sci-fi, which I think is very fun. I don't think they looked like that when they were just someone's eyes, but put on this protective outfit to stay moist and healthy while flying around with no eyelids. Would you welcome them into your sockets? They don't HAVE to replace your current eyes. They could all be friends!

So those are just some of my favorite silly things from Gubble! If you did not know much about Gubble, I hope you have a new appreciation for it! Be careful out there on those zymbots!

#gubble #gubble d gleep #wangry wobot #wangry wobot wannabee #flatworm #orb #slug bug #drone #uurrgghh #gubble enemies #not mario #funky friday #mod chikako

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spaceandbones · 2 months ago

Note

OH OH and 💖 for gothfox pleasseeeee

💖- A chilvarous kiss to the back of their partners hand

YOU ARE SICK FOR THIS !!!!!! sick!!!!! Set post-tpof with 49 year old human trafficker Ren and vampire Reymas

Ren should not have let her rope him into this.

It's not that he's a stranger to crowds, or formal events for that matter, and he's done quite a bit of this shtick in the past decade- enough to know how to act and how to charm the old rich fucks all dressed to the nines that are always the mass majority at these things. Its just that he fucking hates it.

He can practically hear Reymas in his head when he thinks it- you're an old fuck dressed to the nines. He makes a point not to linger on how easy it is to conjure her voice in his head.

She insisted on picking him up. At the time, he was too flustered and irritated to bother arguing, but now that he's standing in his porch in a black-tie suit, he feels like a fucking teenage girl awaiting her prom date. He has no idea what she drives, and is already working himself up for the wash of embarrassment when she has to hand the keys for whatever beater she is inevitably going to pull up in to the valet.

It's a mixture of feelings when she smoothly rolls up to the curb outside of his house and gives one polite honk to address her arrival. She refuses to exchange phone numbers with him, which he thinks is ridiculous- they spent five years so far up each other's ass they may as well have been conjoined twins, and now she wants to act like distant strangers-

The point is he gets no text from her stating she's arrived, just the honk. When he peeks out the window, the car is also shockingly not a beater from a scrapyard.

It's a Volvo, something new but clearly not brand new. All black, completely spotless, and it looks like a hybrid, based on how quiet the engine is.

He can feel her eyes on him the second he opens the door, tracking every step he takes down the driveway that he's cursing himself for making so long. Nobody should be able to have him feeling so awkward and jittery, least of all her, but he finds himself pausing with a hand on the passenger side door, trying to swallow his anxiety.

The atmosphere in the interior of the vehicle immediately hits him like a wall. It's warm inside, the heat blowing softly, and all he can smell is her. Licorice, blood, cherries, and a slight hint of tabacco. He wonders if she's taken up smoking again. If she ever stopped. There isn't much reason not to, given she can't get cancer.

"At least you look nice," is her first utterance to him, done so under her breath and looking straight ahead.

He Almost replies with something similar, but catches it on time. "Remind me again why you're dragging me out to this."

She puts the car in drive and pulls down the street smoothly, though a little fast given they're in a suburban neighhorhood. Its bizarre to see her driving- she didn't have a license last time he really knew her.

She lolls her head to the side with a flashy grin, "Don't act a stranger to black-tie charity galas, I know you're a frequent flier."

He nods, "Yes, but you aren't."

She sucks her lower lip between her teeth and releases it with a pop. She looks nice, he has to admit that. Dangerous, not at all like someone who would be attending a charity gala, but nice all the same. He doesn't know how she's planning to hide the teeth from the other attendees, but he also isn't very worried about it. She can handle herself. She's made that very clear.

"There's someone here I've been trying to get my hands on for months. His security is really tight, and he rarely leaves his estate."

Ren groans and leans back into the seat, "This is a murder," he says with a flip of his hands, "You fucking idiot."

She gives another catty smile, "Did you think it was for fun? I don't think I'll recognize the guy in a crowd, but you will. Hence, your entire prescense tonight."

He turns to face her, briefly taken aback by how alive she looks for someone who is technically dead, "You brought me to a charity fundraiser where I will know people in attendance?" He looks at her in open shock for a second, expecting an explanation, but when he gets none he shakes his head in disbelief, "You are a demented cunt, Reymas."

She isn't shaken by his insult in the slightest. It's a little unnerving, if he's honest with himself. She's just so- so poised. So together. He's never seen her like this before, but then again- most of his visual memory of Reymas is either from them as fucking kids, or her covered in blood, lashes wet, face twisted in pain or desperation or hatred. So rarely has he seen her.... calm.

Her dress is all black, matching her hair, and the straps are a respectable width, but the cut is slightly too low to be formally acceptable. It looks long, and he only hopes she's wearing appropriate footwear, though he can't imagine how she'd drive in heels. She's wearing minimal jewelry, just some modest but expensive looking gold pieces here and there. The makeup is slightly outlandish- her eyes too dark, her lips too red, but anything else with this look would have been out of place.

They pull up to the venue auspiciously late, which is only proper. Ren really did not want to be a pre-placed fixture by the time the big dogs started strolling in. At least this way everyone he may know will be caught up in their own conversations by now, hopefully a few drinks deep and entirely unable to recognize him.

Reymas leaves the car idling, and reaches over to rifle through the center console for a hand-bag. Ren takes the opportunity to begin the process of making her regret inviting him, so he gets out of the car and wraps around the front of it. When he swings the drivers side door open for her, he's met with a deep scowl etched into her features.

She says nothing, because what is there to say? Don't show me the bare minimum of chivalry expected at an event I invited you to?

She swings her legs out and to his disgust, her bare feet touch down on the asphalt. A second later a pair of heels click down beside them, and when she has them on she stands and tries to take the door from him, clearly intending to rob him of the baseline satisfaction of closing it for her.

He gives her a thin smile, and tightens his fingers over the top of the door. She pauses for a second, and then abandons the pursuit entirely, clearly not wanting to fight with him over something so small in such an open, public place.

She hands the keys off to the valet, and they're direct towards the sprawling estate the chairty event is being hosted within. On the climb up the ridiculously lavish marble steps, Ren leans in close.

"Do you even know what charity this gala is for?" His voice comes out in a low hiss.

Reymas looks momentarily perplexed, like the thought had never occured to her before now, "No," she admits, "Kids with cancer probably. Does it matter?"

He straightens up again, "No. How did you get invites to something like this?"

The tops of her cheeks color slightly, and she waits a suspiciously long time before answering him. "You really weren't careful about hiding your psudeonyms from me," she says slowly, "the first one I submitted the request for worked, and they all come with a plus one."

As if to prove it, she hands him the tickets. Sure enough, a name tied to most of his legal, above-board dealings is looking right back at him, along with another fake name for her. This is unbearably stupid. She's lucky she picked an alias that actually works for this sort of thing, one he's used in this situation before. He's lucky she didn't just try his actual fucking name.

Their tickets scan without preamble. He's shocked when the security asks for photo ID and Reymas manages to procure one that is startlingly authentic-looking, and has the same name as her ticket does.

The inside opens to a massive, dimly lit foyer with candles as the main light source. It's comfortably warm inside, which is probably on account of the bodies milling about. All old. All very rich. There's some new money floating around, too, but it's very clear what sort of society they've entered here. He casts a worried glance at Reymas, because he can't picture her knowing how to act around these people.

Not that they're dangerous insofar as someone slipping up when it comes to manners or social niceties, and even if they were, Reymas isn't really in danger from any normal human people. Ren just happens to know the sort of people that swim in these lakes because he deals with them every day. People don't come cheap. It shouldn't be a surprise that the only ones wealthy enough to make invididual, high-tier purchases within the human trafficking world are the same assholes in front of him drinking champagne.

It's got him on edge. Even if he were to be recognized, nobody would ever in a thousand years say anything about it. He's usually careful - they've never seen his full face, the only name they have to go by is Fox. People like this don't usually have a vested interest in fucking with the hornets nest, so he's never had any trouble in terms of being tracked down, but this may be seen as him doing just that.

It would be like if a normal corporate Joe's plug showed up at his office on a Monday morning at nine o'clock. Nobody is going to take kindly to figuring out the man who auctioned them off a sex slave last month is now attending the same gala as them.

"Well," Ren starts, taking her elbow and guiding her towards the refreshments table, "what now, genius?"

She side-eyes him and picks up a glass of bubbly rosè. He knows she can't drink anything that isn't blood without it tasting like ash on her tongue, but to her merit she takes a sip without making a face.

"Now, we act normal for a little while until you spot the guy," she hands him her phone subtly, and he takes a look down to see the name of someone very familiar.

"Jeez," he says, voice dripping with venom, "you should have told me you were planning on cutting my flow of income off at the knees. I would have jumped for joy at the chance to aid and abet-"

"We talked about this," Reymas hisses, showing two pointed canines, "you have more than enough to live comfortably, there is no reason to continue selling-"

He can't slap a hand over her mouth here, so he silences her with a particularly urgent look. "Not here," he stresses, voice stern, "Fuck. Anywhere but here."

He lets her finish the rosè, and beckons her to follow him before she can argue. Act normal, she says? Fine. He can act normal.

He brings them out to the middle of the dance floor, where people- mostly elderly- are twirling around in relatively synchronized movements. Can she dance? He has no idea.

He holds his hand out to her, and she has the good graces to look slightly abashed. "What-"

"We're dancing, Reymas," he says innocently, with a not-so-innocent smile, showing his own teeth, "isn't that what people usually do at a these things?"

She takes his hand, and she can't appear very icy about it, either, otherwise it would draw looks. He steps closer, and keeps eye contact as he brings her hand to his mouth, skin ghastly cold against his, and presses a kiss to the back of her hand.

The look of devastation in her eyes is enough to keep him going all night, regardless of the impending bloodshed.

#fics #ask game #gothfox #btd #ren hana #reymas #tpof #shes trying really hard to realign his morality while maintaining a steady hatred of him #will this make sense to anyone else. probably not.

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twistedtummies2 · 1 month ago

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Top 15 Disney Animated Movie Villain Songs

Earlier in the month, in honor of both the Halloween season - Disney’s Season of the Villain - and the fact this year marks the 101st anniversary of Disney as a company, I talked about my favorite portrayals of Cruella De Vil. I’m still in a Disney Villain mood (which, to be fair, is far from uncommon with me), so to continue our Halloween series of lists, I think it’s time I discussed a subject that I’ve actually had brought to my attention several times: Disney Villain Songs. While Villain Songs have existed practically as long as musical theatre, in any of its formats, existed - from the opera to Gilbert & Sullivan’s operettas to beyond - I think most would agree that Disney has effectively “cornered the market” when it comes to these particular parts of many musicals. Whenever people talk about great villain songs, you can be darn sure that not only are you going to see at least one Disney bad guy number in the list, but it’s honestly quite likely you’ll see multiple entries.

This is what made making such a countdown properly REALLY difficult. Because, just as there are numerous Disney Villains from all sorts of mediums and properties, there are all sorts of dastardly musical numbers related to them. So, I decided to apply the same basic rule to this list that I’ve applied to other villain-related countdowns: I’ll only be including movies, and therefore songs, from the core sixty-something movies in the Walt Disney Animation Studios catalog (with one film’s exception, and I doubt that film’s title needs to be named; you’ll find out which, regardless, in the rundown). I’ll probably do a second list for other villain songs from Disney that DIDN’T fit those criteria, but for now, that’s going to be our focus. Also, I’ll only be including one song from every movie, because some of these films actually have more than one villain song. The only exception to that rule will be reprisals of the same tune. With that said, let’s waste no more time! Sing along (most deviously) with me, as I present My Top 15 Favorite Animated Disney Movie Villain Songs!

15. Heffalumps & Woozles, from The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh.

I initially considered placing either “Pink Elephants on Parade” from Dumbo, or possibly “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” from Encanto, in the bottom spot. In both cases, I felt neither song was really a VILLAIN song, so much as just…well…sort of spooky and weird. They have the VENEER of villain songs, but Bruno in the latter film is decidedly NOT the bad guy, and that’s revealed within about five minutes after the song takes place, if even that. And in the case of Pink Elephants…that’s literally a trip-out scene about a small elephant being drunk. Everything about that sequence is INSANE, but it’s hardly a VILLAINOUS scene in the strictest sense. It was at that moment I remembered this number: “Heffalumps and Woozles” is actually pretty similar to “Pink Elephants." It is a very strange and surreal number with a lot of cartoonish and absurd imagery, and takes place in the form of a sort of dream sequence. However, the titular monsters that silly old Pooh Bear imagines are much more overtly villainous, and the lyrics paint them as such, describing them as bizarre and frightening beasts who will steal and devour everything you care for most (in Pooh’s case, this primarily means his precious honey). Later spin-offs of this compilation feature would actually feature Heffalump and Woozle characters, and often (though not always) they were, in fact, evil creatures. So at the end of the day, it counts a bit more easily than the two that might have been. Plus, it’s VERY catchy.

14. Prince Ali (Reprise), from Aladdin.

I’m counting this one low on the list because it’s extremely short, as it isn’t so much the villain’s OWN song as it is just a sort of “dark reprise” of an earlier number in the story. But hey, it’s become as iconic as many of the other “proper” villain songs, and when people think of Jafar getting a musical number, they usually think of this sequence first and foremost. This song is a pure celebration on the villain’s part; Jafar has just gained control of the Magic Lamp, and with it, he’s made first a wish to take over Agrabah, and then another to dub himself as the most powerful sorcerer in the universe. Jafar is on a power high like no other during this whole scene, unhinged with glee as he toys with his victims, revealing Aladdin’s true identity to Jasmine before sending the street rat rocketing into space. All the while, he’s giddily dancing and prancing about, and the scene ends with him letting out the mother of all evil laughs: easily one of the greatest bits of diabolical, utterly deranged cackling EVER put to the screen. Jonathan Freeman’s exuberant performance, and the power of the animation, sell every second, and while the scene is short and goes by pretty fast, it still makes a BIG impact. Jafar would get his own TRUE villain songs, all his own, later on, but his mocking reprise of “Prince Ali” is still more than worthy of a spotlight here.

13. Shiny, from Moana.

Tamatoa might be one of the best villains to come out of Disney in recent years, which is funny because he’s really only onscreen in his respective feature for…what, five minutes? Under ten, tops? But what he lacks in screentime, he makes up for in personality, and a HUGE part of that comes from his villain song. This musical number actually does quite a lot in a rather limited time, and yet it never feels bloated or overpacked with information: it sets up Maui’s origins, establishes his rivalry with Tamatoa in a more direct fashion, explains exactly who and what this monster is and what he’s all about, provides a malevolent counterpoint to the titular protagonist’s philosophy…and it does all of this with interesting visuals and a glam rock style directly influenced by Jareth the Goblin King-I mean, David Bowie, and performed by Jemaine Clement. Like Tamatoa himself - and, indeed, like a LOT of the greatest Disney Villains - the song fluctuates between campy humor and dark, half-crazed menace throughout, both lyrically and in its instrumentals. Speaking of, the song is the work of the mighty Lin-Manuel Miranda. If that doesn’t earn it a few points just right off the bat, I don’t know what else will.

12. Gaston, from The Beauty and the Beast.

This may be the single jolliest of all the songs on this list. It almost doesn’t sound like a villain song at all, and I think that’s the point. “Gaston” is a pretty simple number, but that’s exactly what makes it so catchy and memorable. There’s not a whole lot that happens: basically, Gaston needs a pep talk after being rejected by Belle, so LeFou and the other townsfolk in the local pub all begin singing a song about how awesome he is. Gaston - being…well…Gaston - quickly buys into the hype over himself and soon begins bragging in-between bouts of praise from the rest. It’s literally just a comical ode to the character’s own narcissism, not much else. However, one could argue it also establishes an important factor in the story: Gaston is NOT going to change his ways. Any chance of him re-evaluating himself or his approach to things is quickly squashed by everybody else singing his praises, and he’s certainly not going to complain or look into changing on his own terms under those circumstances. It’s only moments after the first take on the song that a reprise occurs (so soon after I wasn’t even sure if I should name said reprise directly in the title), and it’s at this point Gaston goes from just being sort of an annoying jerk to a true villain, as he plots to send Belle’s father to the madhouse and force her to marry him. From this point on, it’s clear who the bad guy is, and the fact we were just enjoying watching him flaunt his own silly superiority makes the moment a bit more tense. Very well-written storytelling there.

11. Mother Knows Best (and its Reprise), from Tangled.

Like “Gaston,” this song also has a reprise, but since the latter takes place much later in the story, I did feel I needed to address it separately in the title. (And I did want to include the Reprise because, in some ways, I like it more than the earlier, fuller rendition.) This song is sung by Mother Gothel to her adoptive daughter, Rapunzel. Years before the main part of the plot, Gothel kidnapped Rapunzel from the palace of the King and Queen of Corona. Why did she do this? Not because she wanted a daughter of her own, but because Rapunzel’s hair contains magical properties that heal wounds and restore one’s youth. Fearing age and death, Gothel obsessively uses the power of Rapunzel’s golden locks to effectively make herself immortal. Not wanting to lose her “medicine,” nor have her crimes revealed to the world, she forbids the captured (and unknowing) princess from venturing out in the outside world. In the first iteration of the song, Gothel tries to convince Rapunzel to stay by singing a song about all the dangers out the outside world, not-so-subtly demeaning the teenaged girl in the process by claiming Rapunzel would never survive if she left their tower. There’s a grand string of irony in the song, brought on not only by the fact that Rapunzel has shown she’s extremely intelligent (albeit admittedly naive) before this fact, but also in the tone the song has, as the melody is spritely and playful, contrasting hilariously with lyrics that literally include mentions of cannibals, quicksand, and the Black Death. (Yikes.) Later in the story, the song takes a much darker, more vicious turn, as Gothel tracks down the escaped Rapunzel and tries to convince her to return home. When Rapunzel refuses, Gothel flies off the handle, starting off slow and passive-aggressive before plunging into a snappy tantrum, deriding the girl as a fool and saying that if things go wrong, she shouldn’t come crying to her. This is all just further manipulation, but it’s dramatically intense, and is heightened by much more foreboding instrumentals. One interesting thing I noted in the reprisal is that you can actually hear what sound like church bells going on at points, and there’s a sort of ticking-clock quality to the melody in both renditions; perhaps foreshadowing of Gothel’s steadily deteriorating state. That, or it just sounds spooky and cool, which…hey, I’m all for that.

10. The Headless Horseman, from The Adventures of Ichabod & Mr. Toad.

This is one of the more underrated songs on this countdown, although I have noticed it’s gained more and more of a following over the years, fittingly and especially around this time of the year. Much like “Heffalumps and Woozles,” this song isn’t so much a song BY the villain, so much as a song ABOUT the villain: it’s a description of the antagonist put to music, told by another party. In this case, the song is a musical retelling of the legend of the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow, iterated by Brom Bones as a means of scaring the heck out of Ichabod Crane. The song is both upbeat and sinister at the same time, with a sort of jazzy beat that’s contrasted by eerie wailing and the spooky story the lyrics tell. It’s arguably the best and most catchy song in the movie, and it’s only made better by the fact it was originally performed by the crooner himself, Bing Crosby. (Proving he can be just as much the voice of Halloween as he is Christmas.) The song has been covered more and more frequently over the years, the most famous probably being the one by Thurl Ravenscroft. It works great within the context of the story, but it also makes for a fun, jaunty, yet appropriately creepy Halloween ballad on its own terms: versatility is always appreciated, in music as in other things.

9. Trust in Me, from The Jungle Book.

As a couple of songs so far have shown, sometimes the best tunes aren’t the ones that belong to the main baddies. In fact, in cases like this, sometimes the main baddies don’t even HAVE songs: Shere Khan is the main villain of Disney’s Jungle Book, but he never really gets a song in the original film. Instead, musical kudos goes to the secondary and tertiary antagonists of the movie: Kaa and King Louie. While Louie’s song is a lot of fun, I think most agree that “Trust in Me” is a real standout among bad guy songs. The tune happens during the second encounter Mowgli has with the hungry serpent, as Kaa successfully hypnotizes him, and sings this lullaby-like melody to help keep Mowgli in his power. All the while, the python toys with his prey before coiling him up, ready to lazily consume his victim. The tune is as slinky and serpentine as Kaa is, and is one of the surprisingly few in the film that holds the sort of Indian styling the setting would allow for. Sterling Holloway sells the music with a dangerously mischievous lilt, giving the song both a sinister, almost seductive quality, while also injecting humor into it, given his vocal mannerisms and choices. It’s the closest Kaa comes to being a real threat in the movie, and I’m pretty sure it’s the main reason so many people remember this snake the way they do. Heck, one of the biggest upsets I hear people complain about with the live-action remake is that, despite including two of the songs from the film in the form of “Bear Necessities” and “I Wanna Be Like You” (both of which sort of just come right the heck out of nowhere and interrupt the story, anyway), “Trust in Me” was cut from the film and relegated to only playing over the end credits. Thank goodness the original will always be around on its own terms.

8. Cruella De Vil, from 101 Dalmatians.

This is the last song on the countdown that’s more a tune ABOUT the villain than anything else, and it’s arguably the most famous of the lot. The context of this famous, blues-y ballad is pretty simple: Roger Radcliffe, one of the main human characters, is inspired by the appearance of Cruella De Vil at the home of his and his wife, Anita’s, domicile. While Cruella annoys Anita downstairs, Roger - who very clearly does NOT like Cruella (and who can really blame him for that?) - begins to compose this mocking tune that describes Cruella with a series of utterly deplorable lyrics that frankly would make the Grinch a bit envious. What’s funny is that, while the song doesn’t really do much for the story, and is meant to be an exaggeration of a humorous nature…the song actually ends up being sort of an anthem for Cruella, as it’s quickly made clear she is, indeed, just as nasty and wicked as the song (somewhat inadvertently) describes her to be. Much like with Kaa, I’m frankly convinced that this song is a big part of why Cruella is so well-remembered, as the song and the character almost seem to go hand in hand with each other when either one is referenced. Indeed, many would argue people remember this song more than they remember the character or even the movie in general. That fact alone easily earns it placement in the Top 10 for me.

7. Be Prepared, from The Lion King.

Of all the choices on this countdown, I am pretty sure placing “Be Prepared” so low in the ranks is going to be one of the most controversial. Just as most people would probably name Scar as one of their Top Three favorite Disney Villains, I’m pretty sure “Be Prepared” would be in most people’s Top 5 Disney Villain Songs. Heck, it would probably be in most people’s Top 5 Villain Songs PERIOD. Well, I am not “most people”: just as I love Scar, but simply don’t love him AS much as other Disney Villains, I do love “Be Prepared,” but I just don’t love it as much as other Villain Songs. Do not misconstrue this, however, to mean it’s a bad song in ANY way: this mincing, malicious, and quite ominous song is, in my opinion, the moment where I think a lot of people figured out Scar was going to be a GREAT Disney Villain. Sure, he had some fun scenes before this, but “Be Prepared” is the point where he ascends to the ranks of such characters as Maleficent and Chernabog: a truly iconic baddy. The tune occurs as Scar spells out his plans of domination to the hyenas, and offers to give them all the food they desire if they join forces with him. The song once again has a sort of playful edge to its evilness, but also has a haunting, dangerous quality; it’s a tune that both revels in its own dastardly side, while also sort of acting as a warning of things much less enjoyable still to come. And considering it’s not long after this point that - spoiler alert - SCAR KILLS MUFASA? Yeah, I’d say that’s an accurate description of the situation, if nothing else.

6. Poor Unfortunate Souls, from The Little Mermaid.

This is another song that I’m pretty sure most people would put in their Top 5 Disney Villain Songs, and which only barely misses that mark on my own personal list. Once again, don’t take this to mean I dislike the tune, because I absolutely do not. The song is performed by Ursula the Sea Witch, as she offers Ariel a deal that will allow the mermaid princess a chance to romance the human Prince Eric. However, if Ariel cannot fulfill her end of the bargain properly, then her soul will belong to Ursula, and she will be transformed into a deformed polyp in the Sea Witch’s most unsettling little undersea garden. The song never lets up on its darkness; the first half is a sort of waltz-like tune, very smooth with swooping moments of grandness, as Ursula tempts and lures Ariel by presenting herself as a well-meaning, misunderstood figure, who really only wants to help. However, once Ariel is “hooked,” the song intensifies, getting louder, faster, and more aggressive in its lyrics and orchestrations. This culminates in the glorious, eerie climax, as Ursula casts the spell that will transfer Ariel’s voice over to her own power. As the song goes on, not only does the music intensify, but so does Ursula herself. Her movements become sharper and more sudden, and she forgets all about personal space. Her expressions become increasingly deranged and frightening as she clearly gets a rush out of what she’s doing. My only problem with this song, and it’s the reason it doesn’t make it into the top five, isn’t the song itself…it’s Ariel. And it’s kind of a problem I have with the movie, to be honest: I know everything Ariel has gone through by this point, and I know she’s absolutely head-over-heels and clearly naive, but…considering everything within the film itself, disregarding even spin-offs and such…why does she NEVER turn away from this deal? She’s clearly uncomfortable and unsure, but it’s hard for me to buy she’d see this incredibly scary lady and her incredibly scary lair and NOT try to run away at SOME point. I guess she’s just that desperate to know what sand feels like between her toes. Spoiler alert: not as good as everyone makes it sound, my dear lady. :P

5. The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind, from The Great Mouse Detective.

Before Ursula and Scar essentially reinvigorated the villain song formula, there was Professor Ratigan. And just as it’s a little surprising that this movie, in general, often seems to be overlooked by Disney fans, I’m kind of surprised this tune is, too. Especially since it’s really one of only two proper, full-out songs in the film. That, and it has VINCENT PRICE SINGING. (pauses) Honestly, having said that…I don’t think I need to say anything else about why this musical number is awesome. IT’S VINCENT PRICE. SINGING. AS A RODENT VERSION OF PROFESSOR MORIARTY. Any other arguments about why this should or should not be in the Top 5 become automatically invalid at that point, so let’s move along…

4. Oogie Boogie’s Song, from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Yeah, you all knew this one was coming. Anytime I make lists like this, I ALWAYS make an exception in the rules for TNBC. This is partially because the film has sort of been “adopted” in to the core canon, in a way…and partially because it’s a strong candidate for my favorite movie of all time, as well as, by extension, my favorite Disney movie of all time. Keeping these facts in mind, it’s no surprise that Oogie Boogie’s Song gets high marks on my countdown. Inspired by the work of jazz singer and musician Cab Calloway (in fact, there’s a direct quote from a Calloway music number in the sequence), this menacing, almost ragtime-esque tune presents the menacing Oogie to us in lurid blacklight, as he taunts and torments his captured prey: Santa Claus himself. Oogie laughs in Santa’s face, deriding him as a joke, literally throwing his weight around as he shows off his casino-themed torture chamber. Oogie has been teased a few times before this, so his entrance is appropriately as gigantic as he is, creating one of the broadest and most fun Disney Villain songs of all time, while also having the weight, power, and sense of cruel brutality that make it one of the freakiest introductions to a Disney Villain, as well. The imagery is wild and in-your-face, matching Oogie’s bullying and somewhat mercurial personality. If any moment in the film indicated Christmas might be doomed beyond all others, this gambling boogieman teasing Santa with how he’s going to torture and eat him is probably your best candidate.

3. Savages, from Pocahontas.

Pocahontas is far from the greatest of Disney Movies, and its central antagonist - the greedy Governor Ratcliffe - is, in turn, hardly one of the company’s most lauded villains. Indeed, many consider him to be one of the weakest bad guys in the Disney film canon. But, for any faults the character may have, you have to give him this: he had not only one, but TWO absolutely fantastic villain songs, just in his first appearance. The first one, “Mine Mine Mine,” is a fun enough tune on its own terms…but it’s the latter, much more menacing “Savages” that takes the cake. This song takes place after the Powhatan Tribe of Native Americans capture Captain John Smith. They plan to execute Smith at dawn, before declaring war on the “pale-faces” who have invaded their land. Meanwhile, Ratcliffe - who wishes to exterminate them in totality, after finding out if they know where the treasure he seeks may be found - rallies his men to plan an assault on the tribe at the same time. After a brief interlude, where Pocahontas officially decides to intervene (so brief I’m not even sure if the second part of the song counts as a “Reprise” or not), the two factions march towards each other, still spilling their sadistic vitriol. This is one of the most bloodthirsty, vicious, and yet strangely tragic songs of the entire Disney canon: the Powahatans are retaliating largely due to a massive misunderstanding, but they’re just as much at fault here as Ratcliffe and his cronies. It’s the moment where Ratcliffe, himself, goes from a generally comical, pompous figure to a genuine threat. The war-mongering hatred both sides express as they march towards seemingly inevitable, mutual doom, makes for probably the darkest part of the entire feature, and one of its most memorable sequences.

2. Friends on the Other Side, from The Princess and the Frog.

While the soundtrack for this movie is, generally speaking, somewhat “meh” (none of the songs are BAD, but I wouldn’t say most of them are among Disney’s best), most people agree the best tune in the movie - and, indeed, probably the best part of the film in general - is this one. Occurring early in the film, “Friends on the Other Side” is a bit like “Poor, Unfortunate Souls” in storytelling placement, among other elements, yet I would argue is even better. The tune takes place when the evil voodoo master, Dr. Facilier - a.k.a. The Shadow Man - lures Prince Naveen and his servant, Lawrence, into his shop. He offers to read their fortunes, and in the process, tempts Lawrence with a chance at a revenge the butler has always craved, while also tricking Naveen into making a sort of Faustian deal at the same time. You can’t really blame Naveen for being fooled, because a.) it’s established in-universe that he isn’t exactly the brightest bulb to begin with, b.) he’s a stranger in a foreign land who has no idea who and what Facilier really is, and c.) he doesn’t even fully realize he’s entering INTO a deal with the Shadow Man in the first place. It’s all a con game, and it’s one that’s displayed in glorious fashion. All throughout there are not-so-subtle hints to Facilier’s true, evil nature, but it’s not till the pair shake hands with the witch doctor that things go totally off the rails, visually, musically, and in terms of the plot. The song is catchy, vibrant, wild, and has that wonderful balance of fun and fear so many of the best of this sort do. It’s once again a huge part of what makes Dr. Facilier such a well-remembered villain, and in my opinion, there hasn’t been a villain song in any Disney movie since that’s topped it.

1. Hellfire, from The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

For once, my opinion seems to align with the popular vote: most people seem to agree that this is the greatest Disney Villain Song of all time, and I see no reason to dispute that. In fact, it’s not only my favorite Disney Villain Song, but one of my top three favorite villain songs IN GENERAL. This haunting, forbidding, almost operatic number is performed by the corrupt Judge Claude Frollo, as he reflects on his sudden feelings for the Romani dancer, Esmeralda, and muses on how he feels he may be going mad as a result of them. He vows by the end to capture the beautiful young lady - no matter the cost - swearing that if he can’t have her, then the fires of Hell can instead. Gothic in style and thematics, with a Latin choir chanting meaningful prayers between Frollo’s frenzied spiel of denials, inane questions, and promises of retribution, it is one of the single darkest and most risky scenes in any Disney film. It’s yet another example of a song that’s become so well-known, I think more people know about the tune than the film itself, or even the villain who sings it. There are more covers and even analyses of this scene, this song, than perhaps any other Disney Villain song out there, and it’s not without good reason why that is. From the animation, to the orchestrals, to Tony Jay’s divinely devilish vocal performance (it was NOT an easy song for him to perform, and he knocks it out of the park by a nautical mile), it is perhaps the ultimate Disney Villain moment, at least in terms of musicals, there has ever been. In fact, the song has become something of an anthem for the Disney Villain lineup, as various live shows at the parks tend to use this song as a musical synonym for evil itself, even when Frollo isn’t involved at all. For these reasons and many others, “Hellfire” more than earns its place as My Favorite Animated Disney Movie Villain Song.

HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

We Don’t Talk About Bruno, from Encanto. (Hey, I said it didn’t count for the main list, doesn’t mean I can’t count it here. It may not ACTUALLY be a villain song, but lyrics like "he sees your dreams and feasts on your screams" definitely allow for an Honorable Mention, in my opinion.)

Mad Madam Mim, from The Sword in the Stone.

The Elegant Captain Hook, from Peter Pan.

Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee, from Pinocchio. ...And no, "This is the Thanks I Get" isn't ANYWHERE here, because - like most people - I don't like that song very much. I used the screenshot as a banner just to make you all panic. It's almost Halloween, give me a break. XD

#disney #list #countdown #best #favorites #music #animation #film #movies #disney villains #villain songs #top 15

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milfygerard · 8 months ago

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Do you think Gerard's comics are good? I haven't read all of them. I felt like the story doesn't really wrap up well and make sense good in the Killjoy comics or Umbrella Academy but maybe comics are just like that. Maybe they were imitating other writers I don't know about and I'm missing context. What are your thoughts

anon i am so deeply biased towards gerards comics but YES i do think theyre good! I think lots of the critiques are fair but i also think it leads to the fandom kind of underrating him as a comic author at times and dismissing the work out of hand. I especially see this for umbrella academy and to answer your other question yes i do think some of it is a matter of missing context! TUA was never...really made to be a popular and commercial comic? The satire and style are very inside baseball, mostly about x men, as well as later leaning more into a silver age style of both writing and illustration (which is why im soooo obsessed w hotel oblivion guys its so goood its so good i swear)

When it comes to other comic runs, I'd say killjoys comics tend to be the messiest but they are also deeply meaningful to me wnd natuonal anthem is so fucking gorgeous and interesting (controversial but im a natam ending defender even if i think the comic itself couldve used another issue or 2 to push the character writing more). I think gerard has one of the better doom patrol runs, Including milk wars i'd put it up there at maybe 3rd or 4th depending on how much i let personal bias into the equation. However doom patrol is also very Like That just as like a superhero group and can be kind of impenetrable if you arent down for genuinely bizarre and sometimes seemingly nonsensical writing, its kind of apart of the teams DNA as the "worlds strangest heroes". Milk wars is soso good and maybe one of my favorite Comic Things gerard has made/been involved with but its also best with looots of comic context bc its playing w both doom patrol history and the context of where DC as a company was during the time of its release. Its still relevant in many ways but probably feels impenetrable if you arent already into comics at least a bit.

Gerards style def isnt for everyone (and they do sometimes get bored and cheese the ending a bit though i defs tend to like them more than other ppl do) but i do think theyre extremely good at what rhey do and im soooo excited for paranoid gardens especially bc 1. gerard has always taken an extremely empathetic and nuanced and honest approach to writing about mental health and mental illnesses bith real and semi fictionalized and 2. the artist on board is an industry mainstay and has made some fucking incredible work! I didnt love the first issue cover dropped and was worried i wouldnt click w the artstyle but after properly checking out chris westons style im really excited!!!! gerard time

#ask #anonymous #i hope none of this comes off as dismissive #gerard definitely has a very particular style and has some flaws it can be hard to look over if its not for you #but i also think gerard is extremely skilled and very much deserves their place as a respected figure in the comic world #and again im SOOOO EXCITEF for paranoid park #whenever gerard mentions 'silver age weirdness' while describing a project theyre working on i get so hyped #also wheres TUA5. @gerard where is she

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randomthefox · 7 days ago

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About Sonic's world and its inhabitants naturally being weird. I can understand why some people think "these places only make sense for Sonic and no one else" but honestly, that's just how the setting is. Tails is literally some random person who started following Sonic around one day, and he's always been able to traverse the bizarre environments without any special training or whatever. There's games like Heroes and Advance where everyone does the same stuff as Sonic. And it's treated as a commonality. And then there's Knuckles' chaotix where Sonic isn't around at all, but everyone still does sonic stuff.

They all collect rings, run through loops, travel by firing themselves out of canons, and go through special stages. And so on.

People need to understand that Sonic is special because he fights off world ending gods and influences others to be better. Not because every aspect of the setting is gatekept to him and only him.

I think this is touching on something that is a real trend with the way people analyze Sonic. Which is that people keep wanting the Sonic characters to be special in some Dragon Ball Z kind of way. Like, I had just gotten an ask yesterday from someone going "SHADOW GENERATIONS CONFIRMS THAT SONIC HAS A SPECIAL CONNECTION TO THE CHAOS EMERALDS!" Like the Sonic characters have super powers, or won the genetic lottery, or they're aliens, and THAT'S why they're the video game protagonists. It seems to be a very common sentiment, a sentiment that basically boils down to the Sonic characters are special because they were BORN special.

And for 99% of them it simply isn't true. The only one who it is true about is probably Shadow. Everyone else is just a normal person.

Including Sonic. Sonic is not genetically gifted. He doesn't have super powers. He was not sculpted by the gods. He was not BORN great. He is what he is because he chooses to be. What you see is what you get, just a guy that loves adventure.

The Sonic cast do what they do and are capable of doing what they're capable of because they choose to be. Because they work hard. Because they devote themselves to it. And they're no different from anybody else in the setting. All of them were just normal dudes who were inspired by Sonic to become More, to become the best versions of themselves.

Tails saw Sonic racing along and said to himself "I want to be cool too." That's all it comes down to.

Anybody in the world of this setting could do the same thing. The Rookie's story in Sonic Forces is ABOUT that. That normal people can rise up and become Great, they just need a light to show them the way.

And even if they never are inspired to become great heroes by Sonic, they can still visit the Giant Pinball Boards in Casinopolis and get dumped into the sewer because they couldn't collect at least 100 rings on the slots.

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog

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utilitycaster · 1 year ago

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The wildest part about people being mad on Imogen's behalf is Imogen herself understood Keyleth's position in spite of her own wishful thinking, helps acquire the blue flowers for her, was the first to acknowledge the Changebringer's help, and the first to say "I'm sorry" to Orym losing more of his people. I'm really baffled to read these "Orym is manipulative" takes and that it was dangerous of Keyleth to validate his anger. Do you think it goes back to the god stuff, or is it just Imodna?

I think a little of column A, little of column B, little of several other things. Since I've been on the "hey could we consider that Imogen and Laudna are adult women who are responsible for their own actions" train for over a year, the specific "Imogen can be mean-spirited as well as unintentionally insensitive" train since at least this past February, and the "Orym is correct and Bor'Dor signed his own death warrant by casting Vitriolic Sphere at a group of people who were not violent towards him" train for a month, let's break it down.

There are a small handful of people in the fandom who just really hate Liam. Per a very salty rant I put into my drafts shortly after 3x63 to describe this type of person, it is a small, scattered, bizarre group of people who for no apparent reason have decided to be foaming-at-the-mouth levels of furious because, as far as I can tell, a nerdy Gen X-er dad who went to Tisch is kind of corny sometimes. Anyway nothing he does will ever sit well with them so we can ignore them forever. Moving on.

Some is Imodna; I thought the whole issue of Imogen and Laudna as agency-less infants against a cruel world would have been ameliorated by them entering a canon relationship (one currently compatible with the 2013 Pinterest board vibes of fanon no less) but it appears to have not been the case. For more on this, see this still relevant post and, while I personally haven't ever written something up, there's just, again, a complete black hole of empathy from a segment of the fandom when it comes to any of the other characters; my post from this morning about Imogen as compared to Caleb touches upon it. You know the Far Side cartoon where a guy is talking to his dog and the dog only recognizes a small handful of words? I feel this is similar, like, they see that Imogen wanted one thing and Orym and Keyleth wanted another thing that wasn't even, as you point out, terribly incompatible, and then the "well if not thing Imogen wants and not 100% deferential to her then BAD BAD BAD" attitude kicked in.

But I do think, in the end, a lot of it does come back to if not the gods exactly, the idea that the Vanguard is, unmistakably, the enemy. They are not the revolution here to usher in a new era of rule by the people. Keyleth is not here to raze Vasselheim to the ground but to have a diplomatic discussion; neither is she here to grant any leniency to the woman who attacked Vax regardless of her connection to Imogen. And she finds the idea of a world without the gods, regardless of her own personal feelings, to be one to be avoided. [sidebar: I hope we get Matt on 4SD; I am wondering, after the one-two-three punch of Hevestro, the Raven Queen, and Keyleth all placing a heavy thumb on the scale opposing the Vanguard if he did not expect the party to be as conflicted about the role of the gods and is trying to wind up an argument that I think as of last episode reached the end of its useful life.] When you couple that with Orym's positive attitude towards the gods, that explains the animosity towards him.

The undermining of Orym's position over the past few episodes has always been one of emotion. First he was not objective - as if anyone else was objective! As if any moral decision is ever 100% objective! We all have biases! What kind of early 2000s atheist forum shit are you on to claim perfect rationality that conveniently matches the ideas that apparently came to you in a godless vision? It's insane. Then it was his grief; grief makes you irrational (unless you're Imogen grieving Laudna, in which case you are objectively right at all times, even as you shout down every other suggestion, beseech Laudna's first murderer, not a month later consider the potential validity of the her second, and try to to undo her immutable past) and remember, moral decisions must be made by the rational. Then it was his impatience (nevermind that Imogen has absolutely no patience). And now it's his anger, and he's apparently been manipulating the party the whole time by...having suggestions for the group which he mentions, and openly stating what he was feeling and what he wanted, and not intuiting that Laudna reawoke Delilah with his approximately no magical ability and then encouraging her to finish a job she had started herself. Because god Rational Objective Conceptual Being forbid women do anything; it is the role of the man to protect their fragile souls from all consequences.

Even more generally I think a lot of people- not just in this fandom, though certainly within this fandom - are terrified of anger. Like, they think they like it - they say they love barbarians (though rage is its own beast and I think very different from the anger Orym and Keyleth exhibit) but most of the discussion of them tends to veer more into angst, and most players of barbarians are often exploring emotions like grief, self-pity (as Ashton says), or frustration just as much if not more so than anger. I think a lot of people perceive anger as this awful thing inside them to be controlled and denied, or alternately to only be let out for whatever they think is a sufficiently righteous cause, and instead sit in an increasingly toxic stew of simmering resentment and conflict avoidance until they begin to think this is not just normal but aspirational - anything but that awful beast they call anger. It's not new in discussions of Keyleth, and it's not limited to her and Orym; I can point to nearly every single character who has had even the slightest of outbursts - even something as mild and controlled as Orym's whispered profanity or less - and I promise you there's been pearl-clutching for every single one of them.

Anyway, you make great points! One of the things that struck me about this episode and prompted my frustration and my post earlier today is that Imogen has changed. I think she's been mulling over Liliana since her appeals to her during the Key's activation were unsuccessful; she hesitantly told Chetney when he asked in Uthodurn that yes, if Liliana's death is necessary, she understands; and I think seeing the utter devastation and pain that was inflicted on Keyleth brought it into focus. She was much more open to FCG and the coin as well. And, you know, if one had embraced Imogen's moral ambiguity in the leadup to the solstice, and the possibility that she could betray the party, instead of shouting that down? Then one could see this as a beautiful moment of growth for Imogen. One could, in fact, if one was so inclined, attribute it to her new sense of ease thanks to her circlet, or even to her nascent romantic relationship. If one, of course, had wholeheartedly embraced Imogen's past moral ambiguity and the possibility of her betrayal.

#answered #Anonymous #critical role spoilers #critical role #long post

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trillscienceofficer · 1 year ago

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(I know you didn't sign on to become the 'Kai Winn discourse blog', so I hope you don't mind me jumping into this discussion) but something I find odd is when people say the reason they *hate* Winn is that they know people like her IRL, but Dukat is just a sci-fi fascist, so they don't relate him to real life at all. Kai Winn is reduced to stereotypes yet Dukat is put on this opposite pedestal of 'he's so evil that no one in real life is like that, therefore I can ironically enjoy him because it's so far removed from reality' and I just don't get it. It's a perspective that feels so far removed from (at least from my) reality. Like sorry, but there's *plenty* of people in real life like Dukat. (I mean, I think setting up some sort of dichotomy between the characters is inherently reductive, but people treat them so differently it's hard not to see misogyny as a huge factor here. It's just so bizarre to see constantly.)

yeah, I've said in one post I've made about Dukat that even in my experience he's just a very common type of guy? I come from Italy and let me tell you... petty, slimy tyrants like Dukat are just dime a dozen in the so-called 'patria'. I think it's silly to pretend that Dukat is far removed from reality, and it goes against what DS9 was trying to say imho. Dukat isn't a 'special Cardassian', he's just a guy who isn't afraid to step on anyone's neck if it'll allow him to stay afloat. And also isn't afraid to rape Bajoran women as soon as he can get away with it.

Which brings me to my next point, about the general questions on 'why is Winn so vilified in comparison to Dukat'. There's a really interesting discussion in the replies of my previous post, and I recommend reading it but in short I think this attitude towards Winn starts already in the show. DS9 went out of its way to humiliate Winn in specifically gendered ways; by having Dukat rape her (a guy who is a serial rapist of Bajoran women specifically), by having her die painfully after having everything stripped away from her, and her death is ultimately meaningless unless you frame it as her 'just punishment'. Dukat in comparison gets to have an 'epic fight' against the show's protagonist (even if I think that storyline is so fucking stupid, it's still an epic fight.)

And so I think people are primed to feel like propping up Dukat and wanting to humiliate Winn further, by directly comparing her to him as being so much more deserving of punishment, it's just no big deal because it already happened in the show after all. But by doing so they're making it so much worse. Folks, that is a genuinely disturbing part of the show, it's never been good, Winn was mishandled so badly by the final episodes of DS9. There's something very sinister in insisting to not recognize that and wanting to hand even more punishment on Winn. Ask yourselves: why? Why do you feel like your violent fantasies are justified on her? Didn't DS9 already do enough to her?

#askbox #rape mention #'she got to throw out dukat though' CONSIDER THAT MAYBE SHE DIDN'T NEED TO BE RAPED AT ALL #ESPECIALLY NOT BY DUKAT

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doublydaring · 5 months ago

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the great thing about gender is that you can do anything at any time and there's absolutely no way to be yourself incorrectly. the point of life is trying things and seeing what makes you happy, and what makes you happy is probably going to change a lot! but also if it doesn't that's a learning experience too! sending love <3

first of all anon, bless your heart.

bizarre rant with way too much personal information below the cut. SORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY!

second, because at the ripe old age of zero years old i was a wise old sage with a level headed autism that put me perfectly at the intersection of considerate and above the petty worries of the world i have been telling forlorn transgenders this over the phone since day one (no joke someone I hadn't spoken to in five years called me up the other day to have me talk them through softening their transition, its okay to be nonbinary guys) but ack! sometimes its so hard to take your own advice.

I have gained some weight in the last year or so and I just can't seem to get over me looking ooooh just so slightly off, to me, like I feel like I don't look like myself. I don't know.

Testosterone's largest impact on my life was it's role as an appetite stimulant, before I started testosterone I lived in a constant state of nausea, and it basically cured me of that. It was huge instead of going to bed anxious every night that I was going to throw up I slept like a baby, it also helped me to start working through the main symptoms of my ARFID. I literally called it a miracle drug to so many people, it changed my life.

But! I don't know if I still want to be on it. It's been almost three years and I've suddenly started having problems with my dosage, I've been off and on it trying to figure things out and I don't know, it just got me thinking, what if I don't want to do this anymore.

I do look different than I used to, or at least I think I do. I feel like I don't look like myself. I don't know.

Part of me feels like I'm just giving up, because transitioning socially has been very difficult for me. Female terms feel comforting in their familiarity, masculine ones always feel deliberate and effortful. I want to be beautiful, I want to be desirable. Does going off testosterone simply represent a submission to societal pressure, to finally giving in and trying to be normal.

In my junior year of high school I had a crush on a blond man. I had no chance with him, he was tall and gorgeous and smart and rich and a senior and it just was not happening, but I sort of put a pause on my transition that year as I got to know him, and tried to be more feminine, more conventionally attractive. It didn't work. I am not that. I cannot be that. I can't! It is something that I am not capable of, it is something I have never been capable of. I feel like as soon as I hit puberty it was over for me. I got gross. And that's terrible, that's so terrible, that's a terrible thing to feel and a terrible way to think but I cannot help it because I feel like that is the input that I am receiving from the outside world. I just had this conversation with a couple of friends but it really is ethnic trauma. My mother got a nose job at 14 and extensive laser hair removal to dull her ethnic traits, traits that she then passed on to me, traits that were amplified by my dad's genetics, traits that she implicitly taught me were ugly and undesirable and needed to be changed. And then I had the nerve to be autistic too, pick a struggle, really.

WHATEVER basically I am fucking fiending for sexual validation from cis men that I am too cowardly to actually go out and get so instead I'm just going to bitch and moan on here. I am not going to detransition because their is nothing to detransition back to, I was never a girl, but so much of me wishes I could be, I want more desperately than anything to be a beautiful and desirable woman. I thought because I couldn't cut it as a girl I should try being a boy but I don't know, it feels unnatural. A bitch needs to get on estrogen or SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#askbox

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zapsoda · 6 months ago

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i think supervillain organizations need human resources too: zapsoda states the obvious for a looooong time

i find black hat fascinating because he is truly sadistic in a way many villains are not and it gives him a really bizarre dynamic with his 2.5 employees.

his sadism is something you have to keep in mind when analyzing all other asepcts of his character because it immediately answers most of the questions that arise throughout. for example:

q. why does he torture and threaten his employees?

a. he enjoys it :3

q. why is he so adamantly opposed to replacing them, despite his supposed contempt?

a. either he doesnt actually dislike them that much, or the catharsis and pleasure from tormenting them all the time makes up for it.

and finally, the one i enjoy the most: why is his favorite employee flug?

obviously, his least favorite is 505, because 505 is like. the embodiment of good. the opposite of evil. hes basically a big fluffy hero which is like. exactly what he hates. you might be asking: why does he let flug keep him around then? the answer:

i just have to trust all the bullshit the wiki says at face value since none of its sources are accessible anymore as far as i can tell.

anyways, that leaves us with flug and demencia. and demencia is like ... the obvious choice. i'm not just like biased cause i'm in love with her shes got it all: she's evil (at least more evil than flug), shes strong as fuck, and she worships bh. that's perfect, isn't it? the thing is, he doesn't seem to like her as much. this is the most evil part about him i think but here's why:

dem looooves him and i don't think he really wants to be loved i think he wants to be feared. he doesn't want people to feel happy when he's around, he's evil. theyre like orin scrivello and arthur denton.

in this regard, dem is a little too crazy for him, in the sense that she does not have the self preservation instincts flug has. she knows when to fuck off so bh doesnt rend her to pieces, but she generally doesnt exhibit the same fear or caution that flug does, because she believes fully that she is sooo awesome and black hat is soo perfect and in love with her that nothing bad will happen ever.

this makes her supremely difficult to fuck with in the traditional sense, because if he tries to do it without some sort of disguise or element of surprise, she'll just make big heart eyes lol. black hat doesnt get his desired reaction, and the interaction is no longer enjoyable for him.

obv, bh still has some attachment to her and does still find ways to screw with her, but it is harder and he has to be more creative. i think what he primarily enjoys about her is how evil she is. this might be a bit far fetched, but in the wrestling episode he clearly loved making her beat the shit out of flug. i think maybe he sees a bit of himself in her. but see, even here he is using her to accomplish the larger goal of getting under flugs skin (literally and figuratively).

so ultimately, we are left with flug. he is (also) entirely loyal and obedient to bh, but also he is scared shitless of the guy. i cannot stress enough that flug sees himself very highly, thus, he values self preservation above most other things. the way he sees it, he is so smart and awesome he can't die or feel immense pain, that would really suck! this is perfect, because it makes him so, so easy to fuck with, and black hat takes advantage of this constantly. its basically his favorite hobby.

this dynamic wouldnt work, of course, if flug didn't also have this weird fucking stockholm syndrome or whatever. he does adore bh. the bit in the opening of the pilot where he dreams of getting like. the mildest praise imaginable from black hat. haunts me esp cause it doesnt seem to come up again after that. he obviously wants to be respected/revered/admired for his intelligence and accomplishments, and from someone who he respects as much as bh even the tiniest crumb of validation is enough. because of that, he will do basically fucking anything for bh.

thus, black hat gets the best of both worlds: 505s fear and eternal suffering and demencias evil love and respect.

#villainous

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 2 months ago

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Michael in the Mainstream: Top 100 Movies #25 - #1

100 - 76

75 - 51

50 - 26

So this right here is what I really wanted to talk about. These are the 25 movies that I hold nearest and dearest to my heart, the ones that mean the most to me, the ones that have influenced my tastes and the sort of things I like to see more than any other. Some are older films, some are pretty recent, but all of them represent what I think is the very best of their kind.

And yes, I could have just talked about these in the first place without doing all those other movies... But I'm the movie guy around here, so I felt like it would be more fun to give you a window into my taste in film. Anyway, here are the final movies:

25. Hercules

What happens when you throw Greek mythology, gospel music, the animator from The Wall, and Superman into a blender? You have Disney’s most bizarre and ambitious musical. It was a bold move taking Greek myths and sanitizing them to a mild degree(there’s no incest, rape, and infidelity but there is death and attempted infanticide!), a move that pissed off Greece for disrespecting their mythology, but come on. Lighten the fuck up. The whole point of myths and legends is to allow storytellers to embellish and alter details as they see fit for their vision. This take is no more or less valid than any other, though considering it has James Woods portraying Hades like a sleazy used car salesman trying to screw you out of your life savings, I’d say it has the edge over everything save the game Hades.

24. Clash of the Titans

As a child, this is the movie that got me into Greek mythology. It’s also the movie that got me into stop motion animation, which to this day remains one of my favorite forms of animation. And then it’s also the movie that gave me horrible nightmares, because that Medusa sequence is fucking terrifying. Ray Harryhausen delivers some of the best animation of his entire career here, and he singlehandedly propelled Medusa into the limelight; she wasn’t a household name prior to this film, but you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who hasn’t at least heard her name now. It also helped greatly alter the public perception of what a kraken is, and may have convinced people it’s a Greek creation. For a cheesy cult classic of a film, the impact this has is impressive, but even if it was just me and five other people who knew this movie existed I’d still love it all the same.

23. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

This is essentially a Shakesperean play, but with apes. The sheer amount of drama is incredible, and the stunning work at bringing the apes to life shows that human ingenuity will achieve the best results when it comes to rendering monkeys. Caesar is a fantastic and compelling lead of course, played perfectly by Andy Serkis, the man who somehow doesn’t have an Oscar, but I think the real star of the show is the villainous Koba. Never has a chimp been so horrifically and unrepentantly evil while also being heartbreakingly tragic. He also rides a horse while dual wielding guns and then hijacks a tank. That is literally one of the most badass visuals ever put to film.

22. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

A lot of people view this movie as the weakest of the trilogy, and while I obviously don’t agree I can kind of see it. The first act has its moments, but I think it’s a bit too slow and repeats a few too many jokes from the first film. But as soon as Ego hits the scene, the film goes into maximum overdrive and delivers a far better and funnier experience than the first film. Ego is one of the most heinous and captivating villains in all of comic book cinema thanks to Kurt Russell, but frankly it’s former side characters turned major players Yondu and Nebula who steal the show, as both are given a lot more to do and thus a lot more depth. The latter’s relationship with Gamora is explored quite a bit more and they’re even given a reconciliation, while the former gets a strong emotional arc and redemption while also pushing the development of the trilogy’s true main character Rocket to the next level. He also gets to massacre an entire ship full of goons in one of the MCU’s most epic sequences. And as if all this isn’t enough, this movie has the single best soundtrack of the Guardians trilogy; hard not to when you have Fleetwood Mac and George Harrison on it. The only thing that’s missing is “Come and Get Your Love.”

21. Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back

I like most of the other Star Wars films; there’s maybe only two I consider outright bad, and even then one of them is more “messy and mediocre” than “awful.” But there is no way in Hell I’d ever even consider an argument that Star Wars ever got better than this. It has the battle of Hoth, the Wampa, Han hiding in the asteroid, Lando, Yoda, Han being frozen in carbonite, Boba Fett… And then capping everything off is one of the single greatest plot twists in cinematic history and a pretty dark ending for this sort of series, though one tempered by hope that the day can be saved. This is what Star Wars is all about right here, and the series has yet to ever produce anything that quite matches this in terms of sheer quality.

20. Dune: Part Two

Ok, that’s enough about the sci-fi for kids; it’s a real man’s sci-fi movie now! The first film was good and all, but I felt like it was slowly paced and a bit too heavy on exposition and worldbuilding without much excitement. This film fixes that; it keeps all of the exposition and worldbuilding, but it intersperses a lot more exciting setpieces and brings in Feyd-Rautha, who steals every scene he’s in even if he isn’t wearing those crazy space panties like when Sting played him. Of course, the real draw of the film is watching the well-meaning but vengeful Paul buy into his own hype as a means of survival and slowly descend from a decent guy in a bad situation to a villainous terrorist messiah with a god complex. The fact this movie ends on a triumph that would be the end of any other series but paints the victory with the blackest brush really has me excited for where the third chapter will go. What can I say? I’m a sucker for movies with big worms.

19. The Incredibles

Pixar had made plenty of compelling narratives about things like toys, bugs, monsters, and fish before this one, so it was only a matter of time before they tackled humans. I think there was probably a worry there, considering the humans in the original Toy Story looked really ugly and while the second one showed improvement it wasn’t all the way there yet. But making the novel decision to stylize the characters a la Team Fortress 2 proved the way to go to tell this story that’s a blend between James Bond, Watchmen, and the Fantastic Four. The characters and their struggles are relatable and grounded in reality despite their superpowers, and the movie is absolutely not afraid to get dark in ways you wouldn’t expect from an early Pixar movie, mostly courtesy of one of cinema’s greatest villains, Syndrome. Throw on top of it a Michael Giacchino score that helped launch his composing career into the sky and a hilarious minor role for director Brad Bird as the super suit designer Edna Mode, and you have what is inarguably Pixar’s best movie.

18. Pulp Fiction

I go back and forth a lot over whether this or Kill Bill are my favorite of Tarantino’s work, but I inevitably always land back on this one. Sure, the latter film is fun, violent, and action-packed, but this movie here is more quintessentially Tarantino. It has non-linear storytelling, with chapters bouncing around time to deliver a fascinating tale of criminals trying to outwit each other. It has an all-star cast of actors giving it their all, with defining performances for Samuel L. Jackson, John Travolta, Bruce Willis, Uma Thurman, and Ving Rhames among many others (plus a demented Christopher Walken cameo). It has an awesome soundtrack, it has black comedy, it has meandering conversations that reveal a lot about the personality of the speaker, it has copious use of the N-word (sometimes even straight from Tarantino’s own mouth), and of course it has plenty of shots of women’s feet. This is Tarantino in his purest form, and it still holds up as one of the greatest masterpieces of the 90s.

17. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

I didn’t know if I’d be thrown into the same sort of blissful ecstasy that Hideo Kojima was while watching this, but let me tell you that this was such a fucking amazing movie I just had to rewatch Fury Road right after. As far as origin stories go, it is genuinely hard to get better than this, which not only showcases Furiosa’s backstory and her rise to her position as seen in Fury Road, it also showcases a younger Immortan Joe and the depths of his evil as we see he once had a son named Scrotus. Who the fuck names their kid that besides the most depraved villain imaginable? But quite frankly the real star of this show is Chris Hemsworth as Dementus, a villain who is as stupid and pitiful as he is depraved and cunning. It is absolutely astounding seeing him act his balls off after watching him sleepwalk through mediocre Thor and Ghostbuster movies. If you ever thought he might not actually be that good of an actor, you need to sit your ass down and watch this movie.

16. Deadpool & Wolverine

I think it is extremely easy to pick this apart when you take this film at face value, because on the surface the narrative is kind of flimsy and the emotional core just isn’t there. Like, why should we give a shit about this brand new Wolverine’s plight, moping over the deaths of a version of the X-Men we’ve never seen? But this isn’t a movie we should be taking literally; this movie is a metaphor for a lot of things, from the very nature of the Fox Marvel films and their messy and convoluted timelines to the literal idea of Wolverine as a cash cow box office draw. But most importantly, this is a superhero movie that is a love letter to unloved superhero films, a heartfelt sendoff telling them that even if they weren’t great, they had maximum effort put into them. Think of all the crossover characters and how they’re from failed franchises or unmade projects; no one was clamoring to see Elektra, and hardly anyone would know Channing Tatum was ever meant to play Gambit. But these characters are implemented in such a way where it’s clear that whatever audiences thought, Reynolds certainly saw some value in them. As someone who loves watching dogshit movies and seeing if they’re really that bad, this plot definitely speaks to me. As a straight Deadpool film this doesn’t work, but as a fond farewell to Fox’s time making Marvel movies and an entry point for Deadpool to join the MCU, this is one hell of a great film. You will come out of it wanting Cassandra Nova to stick her fingers in your brain, though. Fair warning.

15. Poor Things

If Barbie is the film equivalent of an “intro to feminism” course, this is the advanced placement course. This is an impressive allegory about the objectification of women and how they seek agency in a society that so desperately wants to force them to be something whether they like it or not. Emma Stone gives an absolutely insane performance, and it’s genuinely hard to deny she actually deserved the Oscar after seeing how mind-bogglingly demanding this role must have been. Mark Ruffalo, too, shows off his long-dormant acting chops, flexing his comedic muscles after being stuck as a supporting CGI giant in Avengers movies with zero hope of a solo film. The colors, the dialogue, the score, it all comes together to make one of the most striking films in recent memory.

14. The Thing

John Carpenter made one of the few movies I have ever had to look away from on my first viewing, sitting alongside Breaking Dawn – Part 1 and Cannibal Holocaust in that illustrious category. The effects here are beautifully gruesome, with some of the most delightfully monstrous bits of body horror you could ever hope to see. The plot is fantastic, with the paranoia and fear that breaks down even these toughest of men being something that leads to a lot of applicability (it’s easy to read this movie as a metaphor for the AIDS crisis, for instance). And best of all this film features amazing performances from Kurt Russell and Keith David, some of the best of careers that are stacked high with amazing roles. Carpenter had a pretty flawless run of films in the 80s, but this right here is his magnum opus.

13. A Clockwork Orange

I love films that are character studies of horribly repugnant individuals, and there are few better films of that sort than Kubrick’s crowning achievement. Malcolm McDowell makes Alex DeLarge into one of the most captivating monsters ever put to screen, a villain who at times exudes an almost human warmness before committing a depraved crime and slipping back into psychotic coldness, sometimes complete with a chilling Kubrick stare. I think my only real issue with this film is that it just sort of ends without any clear resolution, something the novel actually gave, but considering I found that book unreadable I can live with it.

12. American Psycho

A Clockwork Orange is fantastic, but Alex can be a bit too charismatic for his own good. I like a character study of an awful person who is just a complete void of personality, a wretched, miserable, evil person who is also utterly vapid and hollow by design… and boy howdy is Patrick Bateman the guy to scratch that itch! Christian Bale gives easily the best performance of his career, and keep in mind this is a guy who refuses to not act his pussy off in every film he stars in. His Bateman has that surface level sheen of charm and charisma that only barely masks the fact he is nothing but a soulless husk of a human being who revels in killing/fantasizing about killing to fill the empty void of his life since he’s an overly-privileged yuppie piece of shit, The fact that they even managed to take an astoundingly unfilmable novel and translate it so well to screen is astounding, and they even kept in all of Patrick’s rambling music monologues! And if nothing else, this film does do one of my absolute favorite things a movie can do: Show Jared Leto getting brutalized.

11. The Suicide Squad

DC’s movies generally sucked, and Suicide Squad is generally seen as a failure. With these two facts in mind, it was easy to be apprehensive about the at-the-time disgraced former Marvel director James Gunn’s try at taking a bunch of D-list villains and sending them on a suicide mission. But unlike Ayer, Gunn understood the assignment, and delivered his trademark superhero found family goodness with all the cathartic freedom an R-rating could give a Troma alumni. There’s blood, gore, and swearing, but there’s also a ton of heart (and not just the one Peacemaker stabs). John Cena gives the best performance of his career and one who would continue to improve upon in his spin-off, and for once Sylvester Stallone nails comedy as the dopey juggernaut King Shark. It’s a movie wholly unafraid to embrace the silliest aspects of comics (giant alien starfish, villains who control rats, Polka Dot Man) while also engaging with mature and serious themes while using said aspects. And after her previous ensemble outing with the Birds of Prey, it’s nice to see Harley truly back in her groove and getting to live out a Lollipop Chainsaw level.

10. Drive

Ryan Gosling cemented himself as a star in my mind with this movie. A pitch perfect neo-noir with a godly soundtrack, excellent atmosphere, and gripping plot, this might be my favorite movie that I just can’t bring myself to ramble about; like Ryan Gosling in the movie, I just have so little to say. I guess maybe he is literally me after all!

9. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

It’s kind of impressive how this movie pulls the rug out from under you and reveals this whole time, the trilogy has been about Rocket. It all makes sense in hindsight, of course; he has one of the clearest arcs of any of the Guardians and probably the most bombastic personality of the group after all. But the places this movie goes to show why he is the way he is… man. This one has some of the most crushingly sad scenes in any superhero movie even if you know they’re coming, and also one of the few cool action scenes in any Marvel movie. It also has the most nasty villain imaginable in the High Evolutionary, who despite being wholly evil with motives that aren’t too complex manages to be entertaining and engaging. The soundtrack is good (not as good as the last one, though) and the comedy is solid, and the way this movie ends leaves it so that even if we never see any of these characters again, we know they all got a satisfying sendoff. Isn’t it nice, when things end and we get some level of closure?

8. The Nightmare Before Christmas

Henry Selick worked miracles translating Tim Burton’s macabre holiday mashup fairy tale into glorious stop motion animation. It’s a film that really is greater than the sum of its parts; the story is relatively simple, the message is pretty heavy-handed, and the villain is in two or three scenes and barely effects the plot. But it’s all so visually interesting, all the performances are stellar, and all the songs are so damn good that it’s incredibly easy not to care and just get sucked into the weird and spooky world of Halloweentown. Every Halloween and every Christmas I would get my parents to rent this from Blockbuster, and I would watch it over and over… I loved it from the first time I watched it. And imagine my joy when, the first time I sat my daughter down to watch it so she’d quiet down and relax, she had her eyes glued to the screen in awe. Like father, like daughter. Love of this film is hereditary.

7. The Silence of the Lambs

This is the greatest thriller ever made in my eyes; as far as murder mystery stories go, nothing even comes close. The plot, the setup, the mystery, the killer are all so well done, and Jodie Foster really sells her role as a young woman struggling to be taken seriously in her field while also having a steely resolve that keeps her from coming off as a helpless damsel. But it is Sir Anthony Hopkins with his limited screentime as Hannibal Lecter who truly steals the show, portraying a villain who is cunning, classy, and creepy all at once. His nightmarish jail break is something else entirely. Of course, everyone heaps lavish praise on Hopkins, so I’m going to highlight Ted Levine as the deranged Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gumb. While his depiction may come across as a bit problematic in some areas due to omission of a lot of context from the novels, he still manages to be incredibly eerie and fascinating. Hard to hate the guy who introduced me to “Goodbye Horses.”

6. Evil Dead II

The first film was a straight-up horror movie, and Army of Darkness was a wacky fantasy action comedy. In between those two came this, a perfect blend of both horror and comedy and a true showcase of Sam Raimi’s directing skills. Impressively, it manages to outdo its predecessor in horror and its successor in terms of laughs, truly managing to be the best of both worlds with its surreal black comedy that hearkens back to movies like House. Bruce Campbell is truly at the top of his game here as well, with the iconic Ash we saw in Army of Darkness fully formed after his experience in this film. Truly a film that earns the right to call itself… Groovy.

5. The Princess Bride

This is my mom’s favorite movie, so I got to watch it a lot growing up; it should come as no surprise it also ended up as one of my favorites. It’s hard to think of a single film with a better script than this one; almost every line of dialogue is iconic, and all of them are delivered perfectly by one of the most impressive casts imaginable. Before we had Bautista and Cena, we had Andre the Giant in a wrestler-turned-actor role giving his all and making Fezzik one of the most lovable characters in fiction. But it’s hard to really single him out when literally everyone is great—there’s not a single weak link in the whole cast. Even the framing device, the easiest part to fuck up for a film like this, has motherfucking Peter Falk as the narrator. This is one of the few films I can honestly say is about as close to perfect as a film can get.

4. The Lighthouse

Robert Eggers is probably my favorite name in modern horror, and it’s almost entirely thanks to this film right here. It combines the surreal, black-and-white dreamy horror of stuff like Eraserhead with delightfully batshit performances from Robbert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe and brings us an intimate, claustrophobic picture of two men going mad from isolation… maybe. There’s so much beautiful ambiguity here, so much to ponder even after the film is over. Is the ending meant t be taken at face value? Which of these men is actually lying? Is everything happening just mundane sea issues or is it an oceanic curse? There’s a lot of ways to think about and interpret this movie, and that’s what I love about it. Each viewing gives me more to chew on, and more for me to consider when I try and make sense of some of the bewildering things shown.

3. Mad Max: Fury Road

I don’t think there are really any action movies that are quite as thrilling as this one. Like, okay, the movie right after this one is also a thrilling action movie, but I love it for different reasons than this one. This has some of the most insane stunts and pyrotechnics around. There’s a dude with a flamethrower guitar, for crying out loud! But even that aside, there’s a pretty solid plot with a feminist slant to it, featuring a villainous character turning good and redeeming himself through viewing women as human. Tom Hardy’s take on Max is a fierce reclamation of the character from the grubby hands of the vile Mel Gibson, and he is a deeply important character even if he doesn’t talk much. That’s another great thing about this—These characters don’t always need words to communicate their ideas, sometimes their looks, their actions, and their grunts are enough to tell us all we need to know. If I have any criticism at all it’s that this film only rarely slows down—but even when it does it’s still fantastic.

2. John Wick

The sequels got bigger and crazier with their action setpieces and choreography, veering into almost fantasy levels of gun-fu and violence. And I love the second and fourth films a lot (the third is okay, but it feels like spinning the wheels a bit too much), but I still think the first film is entirely unmatched. It has a much darker atmosphere, between the lower stakes plot and the more ambiguous and mysterious nature of the world. Keanu Reeves finally shook off decades of being called a wooden actor with this, channeling his talent into either simple yet effective replies or the most snarling affirmations of bloody vengeance; his “I’m thinking I’m back” speech is short, sweet, and effective at not only establishing Wick isn’t fucking around (something we know full well but it’s nice to hear) but at showing us that Reeves himself is back in the limelight as well. This is so close to being my favorite film of all time, but there’s one movie I like more… and when you see what it is I’m sure you’ll get why this only takes home the silver.

1. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

For the longest time, this was the installment in Peter Jackson’s fantasy epic that I was the least impressed with, preferring the more epic The Two Towers and especially The Return of the King. But upon rewatching them all after the birth of my daughter, I had the same sort of realization I did with the John Wick movies: The first movie just can’t be beat precisely because it isn’t so overbearingly epic in every regard. Oh, don’t misunderstand me, though—this movie is still epic when it needs to be. How can it not be when it has Gandalf fighting the Balrog? But it has moments where we get to see Middle Earth without constant wars and fighting. Hell, a big chunk of the first act is the hobbits chilling in the Shire before Gandalf drags them off on the mission. Literally my only issue with this movie is that there isn’t any Gollum in it aside from a cameo, but that is the most minor of nitpicks for what is easily the greatest fantasy film ever made and one that does Tolkien’s work justice.

#michael in the mainstream #list

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