#its been literally 3 fucking months ive been like this so i really dont blame my hyperfix for finally calming tf down

[roaringheat]

RDR2 has been an insanely long hyperfix like literally only comparable to my fo4 hyperfix. I'm a little sad to feel that high fading but given that my fo4 hyperfix comes back strong like at least every 2 years, I have no doubt that RDR2 is gonna jump me again

[81folklore]

because i liked a boy - NORRIS

pairing: lando norris x ex!singer reader (fc: madison beer)

summary: after months of excessive and unnecessary hate you release a song to tell your side of the story

authors note: i decided to create a character for this, isla, you never see her just in this situation she is ‘olivia’. isla is famous in this but not a singer!! i will NEVER forget the way i felt when i listened to this song for the first time,, enjoy!!

authors note 2: i honestly hate this so much but ive had no motivation so i just pulled this out of the depths. i literally have no clue on what i want to do next so i might just be doing silly filler things until i figure it out🫠

warnings: death threats!! basically anything mentioned in because i liked a boy

masterlist part 2

yourusername

liked by alex_albon, charlottesine and 2,264,628 others

<3333

view comments

user7 stop teasingggg😭we need the new music

user10 starving for new music

user31 slut!!

user15 leave!!!

user63 wait why are people hating on her? what did i miss??

user5 isla did an interview talking about why her and lando broke up and shaded yn for ‘breaking them up’, basically calling yn the other woman

user7 but also nothing has been confirmed by lando or yn plus lando and yn been broken up for like 10 months so i dont really understand why its getting brought up now

alex_albon new music soon🫣

yourusername lily i know its you😭

alex_albon 😁😁

lando.jpg

liked by tombale46, maxfewtrell and 181,642 others

Day 34. i <3 chicken quesadillas

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user17 we love this content

user8 looks tasty, food looks good too!!

user82 remember that stream where lando and yn made quesadillas while they listened to black eyed peas?

user2 yes!! i loved that stream so much :’)

user103 why would you get with a homewrecker??

user6 yn is such a slut

user7 why are you guys bringing up yn? not only that why are you only blaming yn??

yourusername

liked by kit.connor, theofficialfng and 2,836,605 others

but ill always be your favorite 🫧

view comments

user10 music lyric??

user81 NEW MUSIC?? SOON?? PLEASE??

user73 yall love supporting a rebound🥱

user90 k1ll yourself!!

user83 no one cares

user6 jesus the sluts back

user14 yall love to say your hate her and yet here you are..being obsessed

yourusername

liked by clementnovalak, lilymhe and 3,352,821 others

thank you. thank you so so much. i truly cannot express the love i felt tonight when singing my new song. thank you from the bottom of my heart❤️‍🩹

view comments

user10 oh im in love with you

user16 you are so special to me

user82 hearing this live healed me :’)

yourusername 🫶🫶

user66 this song just changed my life

user73 i hope everyone shuts the fuck up now..

user99 you never deserved this, we love you so much☹️

landonorris added to their story

[shadyhouse]

venting about work things are AWFUL right now and i just need to scream about it

i got this new job a few months ago thinking that it was gonna help me get out of this financial mess im in, i started with full time hours the first few months and things were good! but suddenly everything is just WORSE now. sure it pays slightly more but i got absolutely no hours this month bc youre expected to "earn" hours bc its all "performance based" like. i work at a fucking gas station. their literal actual excuse for me when i asked about it was "we hired more people during your shift and they wanted full time" so i just get completely thrown under the bus bc you dont deem me deserving of full time hours??? because i dont go extremely above and beyond ???????? AT A GAS STATION???? WHERE I ALREADY DO WHAT IM TOLD AND MAKE SURE ALL MY WORK IS DONE RIGHT AND PROPERLY AND THATS ALL IT HAS TO BE?????

this place's expectations are so high and corporate has their heads so far up their own asses that they treat it like youre working at the greatest establishment ever conceived and youre just undeserving and unappreciative of their generosity if you dont make their brand your entire fucking life. like okay you have this brand recognition but its still a Fucking gas station. this place is so cultish. you have to sell your soul to the company and if you desire a work/life balance or dont take it as seriously as the managers do youre punished for it.

i seriously dont know how i went from working full time to working 3 days in a single month, ive asked for more hours but they expect ME to CALL all the stores in the area to ask if they need help (most of which i cannot get to! because i dont have a car! and they know this!) and even then im only allowed to work for 4 hour shifts bc thats the rules with covering. like seriously what the fuck kind of setup is this. if im gonna spend $15 on a lyft to get to work at least let me work a full shift????????

im on day 5 of 5 days off in a row, and then after tomorrow i have 5 more days off in a row, and then i work an 8 hr shift on wednesday and a 5 hr shift on sunday. which is a day that from the start ive requested off. i have plans that weekend. so theyre straight up ignoring my availability. literally all i did was ask if i could work 8am-4:30pm instead of 6am-2:30pm because i have to wake up at 4am to catch the bus and its been really difficult for me. thats literally all i asked for and now suddenly i get less than 20 hours in a single month.

like this was so abrupt and sudden and i cant think of a single thing that would make them turn on me so hard. i do my job!?!?!? last time i was at work my boss was really short with me for no reason and she even wrote me up for something that 1) i never even got properly trained on 2) for a station that i have asked time and time again to NOT put me on because im NOT good at it. either put me in the kitchen or have me clean or have me stock, dont put me at register because i suck at it and it stresses me out. every single shift ive had for the last 2 weeks has been register. and then they blame me and write me up for things that im actively asking not to do bc i Know ill fuck it up. and we've had conversations about it. i was told that theyd put me in places im more comfortable in. and yet here i am getting written up for stupid reasons over things we've already discussed. they want to fire me SO BADLY

im honestly really upset and i dont know what to do anymore and it sucks bc every job ive had since 2022 has treated me like absolute garbage and i dont know what the fuck im doing wrong????? i start, i get told im a good worker, and then everything does a 180 and im forced to look for a new job. the cycle will never stop this is just what my life is. i dont know what to do or how to fix this. i dont even WANT to work at a gas station im here out of desperation bc my last job that i thought was going to be a career treated me so badly i just left to the first job i could find that paid more 💀

on top of everything my bank account is deep in the negatives and im scared to keep on asking for help because like. im sick of this too!!!! everything sucks!!!! everyone is broke!!!!! the good news i guess is that i applied for a better job at my roommate's place that pays a lot more and its an actual Real job but who knows if thatll actually happen..... ugh only time will tell. things HAVE to get better they NEED to 😭😭

[co27]

9 people you'd like to know better

tagged by: @funshinebf woah!! hey!! hi!! :3

a) three ships:

DELLUMBRA. my beloveds forever and ever and ever. an animator put della and penumbra holding hands in the chibi valentines day thing and its the only thing that matters for the rest of time. seeing them never fails to make me the happy smiler

spova... HRHGHGHHGHGHHHHH (STARTS CLAWING AT THE WALLS) im getting a bunch of my irls to watch the show with me and like how do i explain why sparx catching nova in circus of ooze makes me actually start howling in pain. the slow burn... the trust... the botched confessions the loss the self blame. oh god its all just so fucking painful forever ill never be over them

tomshiv :) theyre the perfect eternal punishment for each other and i love seeing them make each other suffer. the dirty talk scene in season 3 permanently altered my brain chemistry and tom wambsgans mr brightside is the greatest video of our generation

a1: bonus ships:

SERIREI :) save me serirei... serirei save me... such a classic i love those crazy businessmen. 2018 serirei was literally the perfect era like you had to be there

joongdok. thousand yard stare. ive been coming around to yoohankim lately too but i feel like a lot of content doesnt really capture what i like about orv so i dont look at or like a lot of the shippy content in the first place

gibotto

also gibson/sparx

b) first ever ship:

...... :( it was grey/juvia from fairy tail. yandere x tsundere was like elite to me. if i close my eyes and pretend im in a universe where fairy tail is good i can honestly see the vision. the first one that made me really crazy crazy about shipping though was germany and italy from hetalia unfortunately. sorry. and sometimes i fear i may never escape the annoyingly optimistic x grump who secretly likes it trope and its all their fucking fault

c) last song:

hello, i love you by adore delano. SHE JUST GETS ME

d) last movie:

uuhhhh fuck i watch a lot of movies absolutely baked with my friends so its hard to remember. i think everything everywhere all at once :) i sincerely believe it is one of the best movies ever made. STEPHANIE HSU WAS ROBBED AT THE OSCARS

e) currently reading:

cirice by madeline miller, i havent picked it up in months tho... and i keep telling myself im going to start one piece and dungeon meshi but i havent yet #laziness

f) currently watching:

sooo many things but im currently keeping up with season 16 of drag race with my friend. besides that primarily trigun stampede and hannibal because im watching those with my friends. and i count srmthfg again. but also dungeon meshi is on the backburner too. and a million other things like the boys and interview with the vampire... GOD THERES TOO MANY SHOWS GUYS

g) currently consuming:

idk waht this means. if its about eating then i have a big tub of cocktail peanuts that im munching on right now

h) currently craving:

DAVES HOT CHICKEN. SAVE ME DAVES HOT CHICKEN

9 people to tag:

um uh um uhhh @godza @morguerue @irradiatedsnakes @faglagomorph @treecakes @itaots @soulreaper @puppetlooselystrung @vampirewings and also anyone else who wants to talk about themselves yay!!! i hope its okay i tagged you heart emoji <3

easily copyable version under the cut for joy and prosperity yay

9 people you'd like to know better

tagged by:

a) three ships:

a1: bonus ships:

b) first ever ship:

c) last song:

d) last movie:

e) currently reading:

f) currently watching:

g) currently consuming:

h) currently craving:

9 people to tag:

[davestriderascend]

the homestuck reread, pt 5

ive apparently finished what the map is deeming "part 3", and there are starting to be. a lot of subacts. and i am having a hard time remembering them all. and the map doesnt mark the subacts. so im just going to recap up to the end of part 3 now, before the act 6 act 6 nonsense sets in in full.

heres the previous recap if you missed it (meenahbound), and heres the first one if youre new.

Act 6 Act 4

this is the subact where the alpha kids enter their session! we are introduced to their planets, given a little glimpse of what theyve been up to, and their imprisoned jack noir gives us a wonderful little tally showing us exactly how much time has passed between their entry and when their adventure next picks up (153 days, with their adventure starting 11/11, and ending 4/13, so like five months). its super short and like nothing happens. moving on

Act 6 Intermission 4

breaking slightly from the previous pattern of a6 intermissions checking up on literally everything non-alpha kid related happening, this entire intermission is devoted to caliborns brand new session as he argues with hussie, shoots gamzee a lot, and is generally a tool.

The Characters

its in this act that hussie talks to caliborn about the consequences of him killing callie. basically, in killing her, hes stunted his own growth so that he will never reach his full potential as an adult, bc he didnt dominate in the traditional way. this is probably why lord english isnt shown with wings, the way other adult cherubs are. they also talk a lot about how this has impacted caliborns session and made it unique, (and they continue to talk about this in all of caliborns intermissions,) but im not gonna get into that here. caliborn is kind of implied in this act to have some kind of learning disability? which is. hm. its not framed great im gonna be real.

hes still a tool, hes still creepy, he shoots gamzee a lot and theres a whole elevatorstuck bit in this act that made me laugh really hard, but otherwise theres nothing else to say here.

Act 6 Act 5 Act 1

this is where we start getting into the sub sub acts. this is also where 99% of the alpha kids session stuff happens. everything with the alpha kid sprites is here, the jake, dirk, and jane mess, The hal and dirk conversation, and roxy briefly getting jailed by condy and discovering the void ring. this is also where calliope is first revealed hiding in the furthest ring. a6a5a1 is actually split into two separate parts, so im just talking about the first part here (yeah, i know).

The Plot

the jake, dirk, and jane mess is infamous. its hard to believe that all of that drama literally just happens in this one fucking act. even more so, its all contained more or less in three fucking pesterlogs. fr. people have so many opinions on this shit, i am just literally going to copypaste the relevant logs, even! youre welcome!

this is the majority of the really potent stuff. the way it reads to me, jake and dirk started dating when they entered the medium, and have been dating for the past five months, until jake suddenly stopped talking to dirk and dipped. jane mentions that jake has complained about dirk to her more and more over the past few months, and asked her less and less about how she was doing, so shes basically stopped contacting him altogether. dirks role in this act is virtually nonexistent, so we dont get any idea of how hes feeling about this until his conversation with hal, wherein he blames hal for scaring jake off w hals machinations in getting them into the medium, and hal says that blaming him is just a way of dirk trying to cope with the fact that he blames himself.

the reality is the alpha kids session gets very little screentime. we have no idea what really happened during those five months, and we never get to know. but it is worth noting that these kids are extremely isolated, and this is also dirk and jakes very first relationship ever. its going to be very new, very confusing, and there is also a lot at stake if they break up and dont stay friends, especially if it ripples out to the larger friendgroup. im sure all of that has a huge impact on the way they handle things and the way it explodes at the end.

personally, i find the parallel between jake and jane to be the most interesting thing here. while jake repeatedly checks in with jane to make sure hes not driving her nuts, and dirk checks in with jake to ask if he needs space, both jake and jane, instead of communicating their problems, refuse to say anythign about them. they avoid the issue and let it fester, pulling back from the relationships until they both have a lot of resentment for the other party. in both cases, that resentment explodes- with jake going no contact with dirk, and jane blowing up at jake. theyre really bad communicators, honestly.

The Characters

when i talked about roxy in a6a2, i was pretty harsh, and i said all of that keeping in mind that iw ould be revisiting her here. in a6a5a1, roxy gets sober. and when she is sober, she is so kind, and thoughtful, and strong, with a great love for her friends and a deep fear that she isnt worthy of them. she has a close relationship with fefeta, and its through her talking about fefeta that we actually learn about fefeta, given that feferi, nepeta, and fefeta never speak from the moment of fefetas introduction. she admires her mom, and is so excited and nervous to meet her in person, and her mom is actually the reason she decides to give up alcohol! she wanted to be a person her mom could be proud of. i just. i love roxy so much she really is the best shes so kind to all of her friends and sweet w callie and shes also so fucking funny and i just. love her.

dirk continues his pattern of not being there much, mostly. his big moment in this act is his conversation with hal. apparently, he has literally not prototyped his sprite this entire fucking time bc he promised hal hed prototype him but doesnt want to and theyve been arguing about it nonstop for five months. insane shit. he had to bribe gamzee to keep gamzee from dumping random shit in, and he prototypes hal on the day that stops working. anyway, the conversation that takes place between him and hal in this act is one of my favorite moments in all of homestuck, its just so cool and theres really nothing else to say about it. if you havent seen this animation of their conversation you should bc its iconic

jake is... kind of a terrible friend, in this act. just objectively. the reality is, jake REALLY struggles with social cues and shit. hes just fucking terrible with people. he has no idea when jane is uncomfortable, no matter how obvious jane makes it, he has no balls when it comes to communicating with dirk, he makes all of his conversations with jane and erisol about himself (and kind of roxy, too??), and just. jesus christ. everything about his relationship with erisol actually is really really bad. its like what some people THINK john and davesprites relationship is like. idk thats like 99% of my takeaway from this act and i genuinely love him but this isnt a strong act for him

there are things to be said about jane, but i think ill hold off for a bit.

fefetasprite, as ive already mentioned, we pretty much exclusively hear about through roxys reencounters of who she is. she likes to gossip, and shes given roxy a ton of advice. apparently, in one on one conversations, shes a hell of a chatter box, btu seems to clam up in public for some reason. hussies always had kind of a running joke in the formsprings and whatnot about "a million worthless dead nepetas" and how, in the grand scheme of things, most of the characters introduced in hivebent arent important and will never be important, and it just kind of feels like fefeta not talking is an extension of that.

arquius is arrogant, and leans even harder into brodude type language than dirk and hal. hes casual, but full of himself and commanding, fully enthused to the max about both equius and hals interests (which have a decent amount of overlap anyway). he defers to dirk, commands dirk, and commands dirk to command him in equal and contradicting measure. hes really pumped about having a physical form, and even more pumped that that form is so RIIIIIIPPED, and believes that he is a sort of ultimate lifeform as a combination of machine and man. they experience a level of cohesion we dont see from the other doublesprites like tavris and erisol, and the only real instance where they seem to disagree is due to hals horror over equius's classism and behavior towards nepeta. arquius's name, interestingly, seems to imply that the name "hal" was in fact a joke all along, and that hal- or ar, i should say- does really consider ar to be his name. anyway, the bottom line is that arquius is fucking hilarious.

erisolsprite, like tavris, is made of two trolls that dont get along. however, eridan loves to bitch and moan, and sollux is ridiculously apathetic all the time, so hes continued to exist regardless. he hates everything, he complains almost constantly, he seems to enjoy complaining constantly, hes apathetic about jake and whatever the alpha kids are up to, but enjoys being a btich about it just enough to give jake a daily double bird. jake is a huge asshole to him and doesnt take him seriously at all, and despite that he still deigns to give jake advice sometimes?? erisol is hilarious tho and hes such a fun quirky chara and i love him a lot

Act 6 Act 5 Act 2

the trickster act. all things trickster happen right here. alllll of the things. dirk breaks up with jake, both arquius and erisol try to apologize to fefeta, and fefeta spritesplodes. they all get hella drunk and eventually crash sometime later on their sacrificial slabs.

The Plot

trickstermode is a fucking nightmare and i kind of hate it and i really hate everything its spawned in the fandom. did you know the tricksters dont have any kind of candy theme at all? i didnt. i fucking forgot. bc fandom. fucking anything seems to turn ppl trickster, also, and not just nonconsensual makeouts. jane kicks jake in the crotch. roxy gets a pumpkin smashed over her head. how did fanon fall so far

Act 6 Act 5 Act 1 Pt 2

after they crash, we return right back to act 1, swearing that well never speak of a6a5a2 again. there are a lot of big important conversations that happen here between the alpha kids. their sessions jack becomes jack english and hic becomes more aggressive in her takeover, and the insuing chaos causes the kids to go godtier, with the act ending with jane going crockertier and jade going grimbark.

The Characters

roxy talks a lot about her fears and insecurities in this act. its one of the strongest acts for her, honestly, and a lot of what makes me really love her so much.

like me, dirk also spends a lot of time in this act talking about how fucking much he loves roxy. roxy is TERRIFIED shes let him down, but all he can talk about is how much he adores and admires her, and how she means the whole world to him. he admits that he doesnt think he could ever kill her, for any reason, and looking back at previous acts we see a lot of examples of dirk risking everything to keep her safe over and over again. their relationship is so fucking important to me you dont even understand

i said id talk about jane later, and later is now. this act feels like a really good resolution for her re: jake. she and dirk FINALLY cut the shit and talk through their problems, and honestly, theyre REALLY good friends and their relationship is really sweet. unlike jake, who doesnt seem to have the balls to speak to anybody but roxy (hes dealing with a lot of self realizations rn, tbf to him), jane reaches out to roxy and dirk to talk through her problems and theirs, solidifying her friendships with both of them in a way thats really touching. jane, at her worst, can be stubborn and avoidant, choosing to let resentment fester over causing conflict or distance her friends to avoid harsh truths. but at her best, shes bold and clever, and a hard worker, willing to put in the effort to make things right.

Act 6 Intermission 5

this is where i started losing track of sub shit. intermission 5 follows the usual pattern of intermissions, with a check in on where the meteor and ship players are at as their journey comes to an end. it also follows the dreambubble players and their adventure, and what spades is up to. its during this intermission that the album cherubim is released, and act 6 officially passes act 5 in length.

however, the thing about this intermission is that its frequently interrupted by intermission intermissions featuring caliborns session, updating us on where hes at. so in keeping with that, ill summarize this intermission while also randomly interjecting with caliborns intermissions.

The Plot

the act opens on the meteor, with karkat planning an intervention for terezi with dave. while karkat is getting steadily more worried about terezi, as her mental health obviously begins to decline in tandem with her relationship with gamzee, dave is growing steadily more worried about rose, who spends a lot of her time drunk these days, which is negatively impacting her relationship with kanaya.

Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 1

caliborn has begun his session properly and is working on conquering planets. each planet is knocked into a black hole in order, billiards style, and after completing each other he gets a new leprechaun.

the battleship has landed on jakes planet. davesprite tries unsuccessfully to wake a sleeping john, and then monologues for a while about his experience on the battleship and how much he hates himself, before just fucking off and leaving

Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 2

caliborn has unlocked more planets. he thinks the leprechauns are annoying and their powers are lame.

at this part of a6i5, john meets up with vriska, meenah, and aranea, who have teamed up and put all of their plans together. right now, theyre searching for vriskas treasure, and vriskas put a little pirate crew together, which eventually includes feferi and nepeta post fefetasplosion. aranea tells a long story about calliope and caliborns parents.

Interfishin

meenah has to pee, and the pirate crew plays elevatorstuck

aranea continues her story and talks a lot about cherub biology. we see that gamzee had a role in raising the cherubs. aranea goes on to talk about caliborns dead session, and how he got to the point of conquering planets like we saw earlier, and the deal he made with his denizen. aranea talks a lot about leprechauns and charms.

meanwhile back at the ranch, dave and karkat are now talking to terezi about her relationship to gamzee, her guilt over vriska, her insecurity, and her newfound sight and regret over it. dave wins karkat tantrum bingo.

Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 3

caliborn and hussie discuss crowbars usefulness and caliborns eighth planet. clover hits on caliborn.

the pirate crew is almost to the treasure. john questions vriskas sanity and morality, while aranea tells a story about the rings of void and life. most of the pirate crew decide theyre sick of vriska being an asshole and dip, and vriska gives a long speech justifying her actions that has lived in my brain rent free ever since i read it for the very first time in 2015. i love her so much.

on the meteor, rose and kanaya get in a fight about roses alcoholism and the way shes continuously let the people around her down as a result.

Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 4

the leprechauns are all flirting with each other a lot.

meenah has a bit of a breakdown about how much she loves her friends and her life in the bubbles and how she doesnt actually really want to follow in the footsteps of hic. they find the treasure, before the story cuts suddenly to the adventures of viceroy bubbles von salamancer, which is 10/10 adorable and hilarious. the treasure is revealed to be the house symbol, and john sticks his arm in it, getting his teleporty canon fuckery powers.

Act 6 intermission 5 Intermission 5

caliborn complains about the leprechauns and hussie complains about vriska.

spades takes over the felt as their new leader, stuffs them all in an oven, and winds up in the furthest ring with a growing cast of characters (dirk, jack english, and eventually bec noir and pm). john keeps jumping around the canon and seems to love con air again

Act 6 Intermission 5 Intermission 6

caliborn is on his last planet and has come up w a plan to use his sessions jack to destroy the queen, planning to dispose of jack afterward. hussie isnt responding to his messages anymore, which pisses him off.

john flashes to caliborns location and gets punched into the present, on lomax by the landed battleship. while the kids on the meteor debate how to get off the meteor safely, grimbark jade appears and teleports them all onto lomax where john is. and thats the end!!!

The Characters

i really dont have anything to say here. ill probably talk about vriska and meenahs character development whenever they start dating. its heavily implied in this act that aranea has taught vriska the value of storytelling, while vriskas manipulative behavior has rubbed off on aranea, but ill also probably talk about that later.

The Album

cherubim is a themed album that centers around calliope and caliborn (obviously), and reminds me a little of prospit & derse in that the songs are presented in pairs, with opposing takes on the same general theme. red sucker is probably my favorite on the album, it goes hard as hell. i wasnt expecting to enjoy the album as much as i did! its great

Final Thoughts

with this so finishes "part three" whatever the fuck that even is within the vast context of homestuck. act 6 act 6, i remember well, is its own kind of monster with a gazillion subacts and shit, so i think it just makes sense to hold off on talking about that until another post. maybe my next one will be after the retcon? stuffs really picking up, and characters are getting a lot more fleshed out, so its a lot of fun to read rn. if like, so long.

EDIT: I COMPLETELY FORGOT but at SOME POINT during all of this the tumblr stoppedupdating. i dont fucking know when. anything i had to say about it i already said in the last post tho tbh. its fine. its nice. infinitely better than the formspring

edit: a6a6-the end of hs proper

[aamethyst000]

feeling so blue right now, i feel kind of stupid about it lmao - july 2,24 - 7:12pm

Dude, my 3DS fricken broke a couple of days ago and ive been sad about it ever since lmao i was almost done with my master quest on OoT!! how abosultely frusturatingg is THAT?! i was at the last temple, getting to the very last sage before finding out who sheik's other identity is. i didnt even get to start over on majoras mask or kirby. Now im on the look out for a new DS, whether it be a 2DS or a 3DS again i'll decide that when i know i have enough money for it. which will take a long while because i still dont have a goddamn job EVEN THOUGH ive applied to 3!!!! other jobs this year but absolutley no one has answered me. i fucking hate it when they just ghost me like that. i'd rather have them telll me striaght up that im not "fit" for the position i apllied for, or simply just not hired. that's all i want! not this no answer IS an answer bullshit. anyway, hired or not, im still going to be without a handheld concol for a good couple of months. maybe. it depends. i Just started decorating my 3ds with pretty stickers :( i literally wanted to go cry about it, only to be slapped with reality, about how old my 3ds is, that just made me mad lmao because my older brother's dsi is lasting LONGER and it is F I V E years OLDER than my 3ds!!! like, fuck off xD oh well, nothing i can do about it now, considering i dont even have enough money for just the repairs alone. so, im just going to buy a new ds instead. i know that is not any cheaper, but i'm impatient and i really want to finish my file on the master quest!! dammit!!

9;25pm - i just found out i cant play any gamecube games on my laptop :( the emulator is slow and laggy which kind of sucks but i am able to play them on my phone! ive finished twilight princess three times now and im on my way to finish wind waker now, which is taking a bit but only because this is my firdt time finishing on my own with out my older brother lol its okie, im an adult (with a short temper but thats besides the point) i can do this just by looking up the quest part on either youtube or wikihow, ive done it for the heart collections on twilight. i can do it for the wind waker playthrough. which i have about 3 times so far. and i think i am doing pretty well! for my first play through by myself. i can see why i had little to no interest in it when my family actually owned the game. i only remember my older brother playing WW, the others played mario sunshine or smash bros (both are the best btw). so, i dont blame younger me for not having too much interest.

july 5,24 1:11am - SSOOOOOOO UUUUHHHHHH.......shit just got a bit chaotic today! we just found out that my brothers school isnt going to continue high school classes. so they will have to go sign up for another school, IN ANOTHER TOWN BY THE WAY. my mother and i have been mulling it over almost all day today, she says that she doesnt want my younger brother to be staying with any of our family members and i agree with her. lemme explain, one aunty of mine tends to be agressive, some times downright abusive, another aunty, emotions fly like a humming bird who drank nothing but espresso, on of my cousin has a child of her own to look after, same with my cousins sister and she has two kids, all of which my brother does not know very well and will be shy like me and not talk for a long while. make him feel like being comfortable but shy and quiet about it is bad. anyway, my mother is very iffy about sending him into town for his last year of school and i get it. the last time she did that with my older brother and shit hit the roof with him. he moved in with one of our aunty's place, stayed for a few months before finally moving out because said aunty was trying to take advantage of my brother temporarily looking after our spoilt ass nephew who looked and treated his cousins as literal maids. not only that, she tried to start a fight with him and our cousin fucking did nothing but make it worse. so yeah, i get why my mother doesn't want to send my little brother into town. why is my little brother's high school life so chaotic and none of it is even HIS fault?? like DAMN universe!! fucking take a goddamn chill pill when handling my litlle brother THANK YOU!! and for my older brother, FUCKING LEAVE HIM ALONE HE HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH ALREADY OR I IWLL THROW HANDS

anyway, this year has been one fckn crazy year for us, thats for goddamn sure.

july 8,24 6:35pm - i keep trying to play on the family dsi, i cant seem to stay on it long like i did with my 3ds. and i really miss my 3ds, i cant believe i have to buy another one and fucking save up for that. im planning on getting a screen protector, case and a little game case for the handheld consol. be more prepared this time and all. im just so mad the dsi is lasting longer than my fckn 3ds!! lmao just fckn RUDE! anyway, what i have in my little cart on ali express says it costs up to 205 for those things all together, i was going to look on amazon but i have doubt with their electronics and such, and it is more expensive as hell. so no thanks. i think i can wait until i have enough to buy those things for my new 3ds. i just keep onn looking at my old 3ds all sad that i cant play on it for all hours of my day. oh well, i can save up money for myself, so i can save up to get a replacement and possibly other accescories for my new ds kekekeke

i forgot to mention that i went to go hang out with my friends the other day, we had shrooms and edibles for the night, it was fckn fun and kind of upsetting lmao there were certain situations where i was questioning a lot, and other situation i just straight up did not like. other than that it was quite fun tripping pretty hard like that, however sleeping was freaking difficult lmao i was literally arguing with myself in my own head about getting to bed and sleep, i just flopped around and fucking giggled at myselef like, what the hell lmao

11:23pm - good this i double checked the 3ds for anything else that i am missing and now that ive done that, it wont turn on at all, itll just lightly beep at me almost like a whisper and then itll just shut off without the screen turning on. im even more sad lmao i cant wait till i have enough for the 3ds and the cases, i really want to finish my master quest on ocorina of time. this itch wont go away until i do. i should clean my room and start on the towels soon. the house is starting to look like a tornado went into our house and i so can tell that none of us are liking it so i am hoping that one or all of us finall gather our energy to clean up the house again. we need it and the pets really need it too. i know that the messyness is affecting us all to the point we \re getting cranky. so, yeah, we need to clean up. this will help my brain get over the guiltiness of buying myself this new handheld consol and the fact that i am using a little bit of my savings. i already have cashed out a couple moolas from the band office but no more than that. i still do not trust my little brother around my savings still. so ill be keeping some in my bank while slowly cashing them out when he doesnt know that i am going there or why. to which i only go to the band office during school days. speaking of, i still dont think that he wont be able to go and graduate on time unless i move to rupert. and if i do that, that may mean that ill have to talk to my alchoholic "dad" about helping me move to an apartment and then sign my little brother up to the highschool but the thing is, the school education there is way different than the one he is used to and grew up in. which sucks cause i was excited for him to gradutate. he only has one more year to go too! it sucks so much i wish the school is starting to get their shit together during this summer cause MY GOD!! this is ridiculous. almost no teachers in highschool? i stilll cant get over that!!! any way this will be the last journal entry for a bit, good night/day readers!

[whoreishghost]

i am like Not able to eat basically at all rn and this has beem ongoing for like 3-4 ish weeks now. in the first 2 weeks i cld eat a bit more but still like rlly way way too little and when i had my adhd review i was pretty surprised i had acc gained a bit of weight so i just sort of brushed off the not eating as me misremembering how much ive eaten. but now i like, am basically on a liquid only diet (and i cant drink anything thicker ? ig than like a diet coke bc that also makes me feel sick, tried having a milkshake at one point and i felt soooooo bad) bc 1 i like just dont get hungry at all, and 2 even if i feel ig the closest thing to describe wld be peckish (like im craving a specific flavour or texture) by the time i start eating it i rlly rlly do not want to be and its like, u know when ur so full its like hard to chew and u just want to spit the food out? like that. ive been trying very hard to like force myself thru this by like letting myself eat and buy whatever food i want at literally any time of day bc while it is expensive ive lost kind of a lot of weight v quickly (tw ed: this is about as much as id lose in a month whilst restricting v heavily in just under than 2 weeks). its worked to a degree but honestly im mostly just wasting food and honestly money, and whenever i do manage to eat a bit, itll be like 1 small size serving of poke (currently the only food that has been tolerated even slightly, ig maybe bc it has a "fresh" flavour? idk) eaten over the course or 5-6 hours bc i cldnt eat it faster than that which even then was not rlly tolerated bc i felt fucking disgusting physically, and then basically anything else (eg a genuinely really nice tasting stew my wife made, a mozzarella and avocado sandwich, just an avocado w salt, pasta, etc) makes me so nauseous and uncomfortable that i have to go force myself to throw up right after ive eaten to not literally be in hell for like 8-9 hours (i have an extremely low tolerance for managing nausea and the amazing ability to basically never throw up ever by myself hence the "forcing myself" which yes bad but also i refuse to be regurgitating and getting acid reflux whilst in pain for that whole day because i tried to eat smthn). i originally thought it was probably psychological bc ive been doing v v badly and to a degree it is (i cba to cook or eat rlly) but even when i have the food to eat i cant do it then either? idrk what to do, i have brought it up to drs multiple times who just tell me its poor mental health management and imply i need to ig "try harder". theres also the fact that it is v triggering for my disordered eating brain bc i am unintentionally restricting a lot and i am losing a lot of weight and its been v difficult not to just spiral down that sort of thought process into just not eating at all. feeling kind of like this is either gna randomly stop at some point and itll just be a confusing period of my life or im going to get v v unwell without support and be blamed for it

[yungviry]

rant again

well im fucking upset. not intentionally, ive been having a conversation with my ex boyfriend for like the last week. and i always tell myself not to reply cause there's no fucking use. we've had the same conversation over and over again and neither of us seem to agree with the events that took place in our relationship, nor i guess who's at fault (cause someones's always to blame on how it ended)

essentially hes to blame for the whole relationship flopping but he doesnt see it that way. he sees my retaliation as an issue. because according to him im supposed to be the bigger person. im not the woman he was molding me to be and gets upset i go off script. i swear narcissist will never see themselves as the one at fault for anything. personally i can see i was a petty betty, but because i never got the sorry i wanted and i still wanted to be with him (but thats my own self esteem issues at work)

im saving a lot of the story for the eventual book i write so i only vent so much but also it wont really make a difference seeing as ill probably phrase things differently once i get to that point to im gunna actually be a little vulnerable-ish cause its all public knowledge really. but you get it im writing it down instead of just telling my coworkers lol.

basically. i met malik around august of 2019. at the time i was on tinder so i was casually fucking multiple people at this point ( at least 4 other guys besides him) i was doing porn videos with one of my casual partners (sup byrd) nothing serious, just recording ourselves while we hung out. it was cool. they had made some noise when we first started putting them out that march/april. his profile was in the top 2 on xvideos which i very much enjoyed. lowkey weird seeing yourself when youre looking for something to rub your frustrations out on lol. malik and i met in august, i had already had porn videos out in the internet. he was not my boyfriend immediately. he didnt ask me till like 3 weeks of dating. i told him about the sex tapes the first week i met him. i cant remember if it was that same first day i met him or if it was the morning or day after, some shit along those lines. but you get the jist i told him i had sex tapes out BEFORE he ever asked me out.

now that a little backstory has been set up, he sit there and tries to make me feel bad for the sex tapes, knowing i didnt post them, some other dude did. i have no control over them being on the internet, i had agreed and even out of respect for malik i asked byrd to take them down and he refused so it basically ended there. i cant force some dude to do some shit for me. much less to spare my boyfriend at the times feelings. and still now he continues to torment me with "he cant get pasted my sex tapes" YOU DIDNT HAVE TO ASK ME OUT. i told him i had them out when i was single and still wants to be upset abut shit i did when i was single. like most bitches, usually if you dont like something from someones past and you cant seem to get past it, i wouldnt even ask them out in the first place.

maybe a month into us going out i go thru his phone and BAM theres hella messages to other bitches where hes literally flirting to all of them, some of them even happen to be at times were hanging out together. I had shown him how to make flautas maybe a couple weeks into us habnging out and there in his ig messages he was telling some random bitch hed make her flautas. ANd essentially from there it all started.

from that moment i could never trust him. i remember we were laying on the couch at my house when i was going thru the phone and i kicked him out m,y house. i remember i was heartbroken cause i really liked him already. we had spent almost every single day together since meeting each other and this shit was just unbelievable to me. we probably broke up for like 3 days and i was just aruguing over text with him thew whole time. i remember i didnt really wanna end things, but i couldnt deal wit the cheating. cause literally the day he asked me to be his girlfriend the only thing i had warned him about was infidelity. i have always thought cheating is the worst thing you can do to someone. its selfish, its hurtful, its destructive. those 3 days i remember he spent begging for me back, telling me how hed never do it and listing off all the ways he was going to make it up to me. he would repeat to me that hes do anything to have me forgive him.

eventually we had the conversation of what it would take for me to go back. i said i would need him to do things in order to feel like i could trust him, and at the time he happily agreed to all the conditions. helll, hed even offer to let me slap him as hard as i could to take him back. and trust me i felt like slapping the shit out of him. and then there i go back. i gave him his slaps and all his conditions and he said hed follow them. and that lasted 4 months (but not really cause according to the dates on his phone he never stopped talking to bitches behind my back) but i didnt catch him till like February.

literally from that fist instant i really should have just left him forever but my dumbasss had no respect for myself so i thought because we had a good connections i could look past the bullshit. i ate up his lies too about him changing, but i should have left regardless of all that. my hard no was cheating, he cheated and still my ass gave him a chance. i shouldnt have to give chances and make list of things i need to regain my trust. i should have dipped. cause at the end of the day all his words were just that, words. he didnt change, if anything he only got meaner with me and stricter. he was mad i was a fun girl and i guess he wanted to catch up on bodies? im not sure what it was but he never stayed loyal to me the whole relationship and would constantly lie about it. and he wouldn't admit till i had proof that he was. and again try to sell me a dream on hoiow hed change and how he loves me. blah blah blah cause in the end he was lying and i just turned petty. i stopped believing him and constantly accused him of cheating.

and i guess thats what bothered him, so you see it was a toxic cycle that HE STARTED. CAUSE HE FUCKING CHEATED ON ME. but for some reason because i was mean to him AFTER HE CHEATED ON ME im the bitch in this whole situation and its my fault he stepped outside the relationship and constantly lied about it.

obviously i can get more into it cause it went on for years and my dumbass just believed he was gunna change, even though i literally accused him daily. but to my surprise (or not really) i was right the whole time. he wsa cheating, lying and happily taking my money. bum ass bitch.

but yea we have conversations now and still he doesnt seem to understand HE"S the reason we never worked out. cause what the fuck do i look like trying with a bitch that doesnt know how to keep his eyes on his own girl. he should of just just dumped me but too late. now i dont like him a nd personally bashing him online makes me feel better. i get to warn other girls that he hits girls and has herpes (cause he also doesnt like to tell bitches hes fucking [which i can confirm he fucked at least 3 girls while we were together and he knew he had herpes and didnt tell them] that his ass has HERPES)

uggggghhhhh i dont even really like getting into it cause its pointless. he did me dirty and hell never acknowledge its all his fault. literally everything i did was just the repercussion of his actions. and im tired of his punk ass trying blame me for any of the bad he caused/created.

[am3ricanj3sus]

5/3

no song of the day today. i didnt feel to connected to any songs today and it didnt feel right to put one. anywyas though. im wirting on my laptop today. it feels weird. i feel weird. maybe its just how life has been going. a issue that ive been having most of my life pop up again and im tired of dealing with it.

basically i was life long friends with this girl and yk we had our ups and downs (a whole lotta downs) but we alwyas got on with it. well she got on with it. she would randomly get mad at everthing, blame me for it in someway and i became the problem. it happened mutiple times and i grew sick of it but i really didnt care. maybe i sound cocky but ik that at the end she would come back. she always did.

but like 8 months ago. she started seeing this guy. and it escalated quick. she like asked us his name and who he was then a week later she tells us "oh my boyfriend dropped me off after we got food" so ofc we're like boyfriend? okay... and we didnt bring it up. the thing is, our friend group didnt like the guy she started seeing. he was rude to our friends and has done someover all shady stuff. so we just warned her and wow suprise she didnt listen and got with him. then she got all offended when we didnt comment on the fact her bf brought her home. so we gave her a small "yay bf!" but yk we told her we dont like him so we really didnt want to talk about him. and thats what fucking set a wire off in her dumbass brain. she was going on about how we never support her, which was the craziest lie ever because we all supported her and her other crazy ass ex bf and all the dumb stuff she does. and we were like "hey we can be friends still, we just really dont want to talk about him" and like the whole time she was texting this guys and she was telling him "omg theyre ruining my mental health"

and i think i may have pushed a little over board but i was sick of her asking like some entitled bitch that needs her friends to agree with her all the time. so i kind of just brought up everything shes ever done to me :) like the time i too her to disneyland and she literally complained in the car, ON TWITTER, about how she had to go back and we were forcing her. and its like, girl. my mother payed for you to be here. do NOT play. and i understand her frustration to a point becuase we were at the park that morning from like 9 to 1 but we had like a 6 hour break at the hotel and didnt go back till 7. and we couldnt just leave her there becuase her mom didnt want her to be alone in the room so its like... girl you have to come. so were in the car on the way back to the park and shes like spaming her twitter "theyre forcing me to go back! im crying. i dont want to be here" SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU UNGREATFUL LITTLE BITCH. like girl... girl...BITCH. i couldnt even.

then i brought up the fact that she let her ex bf like disrespect tf outta me. like he burped in my face, didnt say sorry, disrespected my family and callled me a bitch unprovoced. like she just let these things happen then got mad when i defended myself. talking about some "you had no right to say that to him" girl he had no right to act that way towards me but okay,

then i just brought up how much she just disregards me. like im nothing. and i truly felt like that the entire time i was friends with her. an that was most of my life.

she didnt respond to that message. she simply left the group chat then blocked me. couldnt take the fucking heat ig.

and i dont care what happens to her. she could burn in the deepest pit of hell. and maybe ill go to hell for saying that. but i mean it. ive never wanted someone to suffer more.

and that leads me to this topic. she has no friends now. and im glad. she doesnt deserve anything or anybody. no one deserves to be put through what i went though with her. theres so much more that happened with her that i dont even want to relive. but shes like searching for attention now. she texted a mutual friend of ours recently and i told him, dont text her back. and he fucking texts her anyway. now im not trying to dictate who he can and cant be friends with but she did him dirty too so i dont know why he even wanted to talk to her.

and thats anothet thing that pisses me off. people feel bad for her. like what the hell. even people that were with me the night of the argument. they feel bad that she has no friends. and i get having sympahty for her but what the hell. you were there, you know what she did so why on gods green earth do you feel that for her? it just sets this rage in me on fire and i want everyone to disappear.

i genuinley cant. like omg. it just makes me so angery and people dont get why im so mad about her. she just fucked over 12 years of friendship over some guy she only dated for 6 months.

but to make myself happy. i realized im over my crush on my friend. i think it was just a spur of the moment thing really. he has a gf now so its whatever really. ill miss that time of my life.

i didnt see mr c today im so sad. i even walked around a little during his prep and i didnt even see him walking around with his teacher besties. its okay though. i guess ill get over it :(

i did see my coco pookie though and i dont know what it is but its like im not looking for him as much anymore. i mean he wasnt here the other day and i missed him but when he has been here i dont even watch him that much. its just. i dont know. maybe i just want him to be around since he was my crush this.

another day. another slay. i love yapping. this was the first time i gen got out most of my emotions about that bitch and it have this weird relief. like my chest feels light in a way. maybe writting should be a daily thing for me. love love love. muah ha ha

[grimescum-2]

part 2 !!! with talk of shitty old fandoms i was in so cw cringe for that (no offense intended). i talk about better stuff after the first 3 paragraphs though. mostly one big ramble for fun

i remember when i was huge into danganronpa i had a new wife every month or so it was kinda funny. i guess thats what kept me in the fandom for so long

umm..... kazuichi will always be my number one fave character from dr evn if he contributed jack shit. i love that he's a sad weirdo with a big stupid crush on a woman way out of his league. korekiyo (minus the inc3st shit), gonta and twogami are fairly high up there

when i was really big into bnha my stupid ass was more obsessed w todoroki than the superior choice of Literally Everyone Else (not really but still). when i finally gained sentience and got better taste i was big on iida and shigaraki :o3 i like shigaraki because hes ugly and weird. when i saw how they anime boy-ified him in the recent episodes i was so fucking mad u have no idea.. and umm i like iida because he is autism incarnate and very cute

not an old fandom but jojo!! kinda the same case w dr, i always had a new character i had a crush on. given just how fucking many characters r in jojo its no surprise its the fandom ive been in for the longest.. anyway if i had to choose my absolute faves it would be mista, gyro, kira and mikitaka. but again i love so many of them its crazy

persona 5 :o3 HUGE on yusuke. i still think he's cute, him n futaba are my faves. i've been starting to appreciate ryuji more now though.. other than that i like maruki, the other guy with the long black hair and futaba's dad who's name i just forgot. also i love yosuke from persona 3 but i havent seen much of it

i love basically everyone from guilty gear but faust, axl, testament and slayer hit the hardest. i was so shocked when i found out slayer had an irish accent it was so fucking crazy.. irishman jumpscare..

from the various horror movies ive watched i love brahms heelshire (hellshire? forgot), billy lenz, herbert west (duh), otis driftwood/firefly and umm. whicherver guys i forgot. I haven't watched tcm yet but i am in love with chop top and leatherface ok <3

w/ kaiji ultimate survivor its very easy to pick. def just ichijou and kaiji. the rest im either uninterested in or find them to be too ugly. i did have a brief thing for kazuya though

... i think thats mostly all of the significant fandoms ive been in . THANK U IF U READ ALL OF THIS U R SO AWESOME!! even if u didn't tbf i dont blame u HWYAHA

me writing this

[dear-ao3]

yeah you guessed it we’re in texas. yee fucking haw mother fuckers lets get down and dirty with it. 6 races to go. 3 sprints. 2 triple headers. pedal to the metal, balls to the wall, everything is still to play for. 

today is october 27, 2024 and we are locked and beyond loaded. 

as u may or may not know, the like month we had off was kind of uneventful. obviously we had the daniel and liam swap which ive already covered, but the real extent of the drama was: 

people being baffled about yuki tsunoda flying in economy:

max verstappen went on a rant in some interview about how a man’s looks are not important, its what comes out of his mouth. which is odd for a variety of reasons. especially when you remember that he regularly talks about grindr. (yes hes in a long term relationship with a woman, no i have no idea either) 

george russell posted the most baffling photo on his instagram, with the caption “Autumn has arrived” 

he also ended up accidentally matching with his girlfriend carmen. he claimed that she was going to be the one to change (she did not change)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Team George Russell (@teamgeorgerussell)

he was also then taking photos of carmen the next day for her instagram story and accidentally caught his reflection in the picture. which was funny. 

and then, bafflingly, mercedes decided to post a “russellisms dictionary” of essentially the weird british-isms that george russell says 

moving on from that, pierre gasly tried to steal michael schumacher’s look from approximately 2003

and speaking of the schumachers. mick’s older sister gina got married over the break. which is very nice and very wonderful, happy for her, her dress was actually very pretty (a rarity among celebrities and people related to celebrities. sorry but its true. have u seen what vivian got married to nico rosberg wearing??? if not pls google it and remember that they got married in like idk 2012? 2013?) mick walked her down on the aisle it was very nice very sweet etc etc 

but! there was a rampant rumor that michael schumacher (her father) was at the wedding. why is this a big deal? you might be asking. well remember that he had a skiing accident 11 or so years ago, had a traumatic brain injury and hasnt been seen in public since, all the world knows is Yeah He’s Alive and that's about it. (again id like to note that i am not taking issue with that, im stating facts, his family really doesnt need to tell us anything, this is all just relevant to what im about to say)

well. michael as u may or may not remember has a brother named ralf, also an ex f1 driver, but not even remotely nearly as accomplished as michael (tho they did race at the same time and theyre the only two siblings to both win races in f1) and yes this was the same brother who came out as gay a few months ago.  he is kinda. problematic. not cause hes gay. but for other reasons we dont have time for.

they sort of? look alike??? as in u can tell theyre related but like theyre not spitting images of eachother.

well some people decided to find a picture of ralf at said wedding (a wedding at which no one was reportedly allowed phones, which generally means that michael was probably there) and pass if off as michael which upset the internet to no end and while i don't have any receipts to show you, the general sentiment of the responses were “omg if this is actually him then hes literally fine why did the family lie about it” which:

its not him

who cares what the family said? even if they did lie that's their own business and personally i would not blame them. at the time of said incident michael was, by a very long shot, the most accomplished person in f1 history. u probably don't want to have to deal with the public post traumatic skiing accident 

hilariously though, a few days later, and please keep in mind that this is all according to something that roommate katya said he found on twitter but accidentally refreshed the page before he could screenshot it so i have no receipts to offer here, a photo of michael schumacher from about 1995 was posted in a news article next to a photo of his daughter gina from 2024 and the headline from the news article said something along the lines of “michael schumacher seen out in public for the first time in 11 years” and someone on twitter thought this meant that he had come out as a trans woman? because gina does look a fair bit like michael and thought it was a post transition pic? im not sure either but either way it was hilarious, if not slightly irrelevant to the whole post. but isnt everything on this post.

also related to the schumachers, laila, mick’s girlfriend, revealed that the two of them found one of their dogs on the street or he was a stray and they obtained him. hilariously, michael schumacher also did this back in brazil in like the 90s or the 2000s. 

moving on from that. we have franco colapinto. everyone’s favorite media disaster child. now i Have been meaning to throw this on some of the previous updates But i simply havent had the space or the time so its going here. i know that i have mentioned that franco likes to flirt with the media people. and u can find a compilation of what i am talking about here

well.

you would have if someone had actually made a compilation of him flirting and generally being a little shit. but no one has. or at least i cant find it.

i also unfortunately don't speak spanish, and i know that several people have pointed out that the stuff that he is saying makes the most sense In Spanish and doesnt translate super well all of the time. so i suppose you will just have to trust me here. 

i did find though from baku that he told ted kravitz that he was “talented with his tongue” in an interview. so that’s something.

and he did flirt with a reporter in baku, saying they were crying over his performance and not flirting but he did tell people to buy unofficial williams merch because its “is too expensive, not even Cristiano Ronaldo can afford it, you buy it and you'll be eating just rice for 2 months, don't buy it, buy the unofficial one, it's just the same and is cheaper!" 

in any case, hes a little shit in the media. kind of like sebastian vettel (who was also a media menace. he flirted with the grid girls (who are not a thing anymore) wreaked havoc upon nico and lewis by trying to be their therapist in like 2014-16, and once famously tried to have a threesome with two girls but left because the girls were, in his words, more interested in each other than him) 

so franco posted this on his instagram story 

which translates to “media training day” 

this was quickly followed by this: 

which translates to “you are crazy, how could you believe i was going to do media training? i only drive cars”

and we also had some leo. because of course we had some leo. 

first we had leo in a sweater and kind of stealing chares’s look 

and then we had leo in a sweater at leclerc family dinner celebrating charles’s older brother lorenzo’s engagement 

and we also had charles leclerc in a stupid big hat

charles was announced as a puma brand ambassador.

he was also asked if leo was a puma brand ambassador and he said no, but he Could be, and generally was a proud dad about it

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and fred vasseur saying that he wanted to arrange a dog fight between leo and roscoe next year??

and also between toto and christian. yeah idk either.

in the same interview, charles was asked about his thoughts on fred signing lewis. and this is how the news decided to report his response:

max verstappen released merch. it says “simply lovely” which is one of his catch phrases. 

to do this, he needed to copyright the phrase. 

if you recall. lando norris won the race in zandvoort and after winning he said, over the radio, “simply lovely,” basically stealing max’s catch phrase at his Own home race too. 

daniel said after the race that yeah theyre good friends but max probably wont be very happy about that (or something along those lines) and max basically said that yeah i don't really care i gotta think about how shit my car is right now and not whatever the fuck lando is doing. 

many people were like omg omg max WAS mad about this and ran out to get it copyrighted after lando said that!!! which is false. patents take awhile to get approved. and this patent was applied for in may, approved in august. though i do think its funny if lando knew that max was doing this and was like lol let me Really fuck with him here :) whos to really say for sure tho.

anywhoosies. lewis hamilton is also one of the chairs for the met gala next year. i could try to paraphrase what he said about it but i am not going to, so here was his instagram caption announcing that:

I’m beyond honored to be one of the co-chairs for next year’s Met Gala, “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style.” This theme speaks to me deeply. When I started my career I never imagined what I might be capable of beyond my sport. The pressure to conform holds so many people back. Growing up as the only Black kid on the track, so often that pressure got to me. Expressing myself creatively was and still is my freedom from that conformity. For Black people across the diaspora, fashion is self-preservation. Fashion is resilience, and I can’t wait to further explore and amplify our underrepresented voices. Thank you to the @metcostumeinstitute for the platform to uplift Black creatives on this scale.

and he released a capsule collection with dior. as a side note, i was in new york city this weekend and the ads for his dior capsule collection kept jumpscaring me all up and down fifth avenue. 

someone on tumblr? i think??? decided to jokingly start a petition to the australian government about making a day national oscar piastri day to honor his race wins and etc etc and well. turns out enough people signed it so now it legally has to get looked at by the prime minister. of australia. this is what happens when we girlboss to close to the sun everyone.

mercedes posted a video of george russell showing his racing gloves things they have never seen before. which was charming but also kind of insane. also he had weird and different hair and was wearing a zip up hoodie? which theres nothing wrong with but its jarring to see mr tommy hilfiger dressed so casually.

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also speaking of george, he was in a photoshoot for ….well shit i don't remember but it was Something and he looked particularly slutty.  

and he also did this picture which people compared to andrew jacoby (duke of kennilworth) in princess diaries 2

and well, we know that george is not a slut all of the time. if you remember, he recently posted some pictures about him being excited about fall or something. well. theres more.

yeah, frankly i have Absolutely No Idea what is happening here. mostly i want to know what on Earth the temperature is. why is he wearing a giant scarf but no hat? why is he wearing gloves and a scarf but no jacket and the cardigan is undone? and the gloves match the cardigan? but the white corduroy pants clash? and hes holding something warm but wearing gloves?? is he slaying? yes. am i confused? also yes. 

in much sadder news, we have an update on one daniel ricciardo. yes, freshly dropped from vcarb daniel ricciardo. aparently he is alive and well and being featured on his friends instagrams wearing a hat that says “im retired, having a good time is my job” 

and while he was Not going to be in texas for the race (sadly) (he had a special helmet and everything lined up apparently) his brand, enchanté was going to be. and, even more sadly, apparently he was supposed to be honored with the keys to the city during the race weekend. (if you're asking why, daniel loves texas, he goes all out every year, one year he literally showed up riding a horse, everyone joked that he was an honorary texan). so yeah. a lot of sad. im unsure if hes still going to get the keys to the city? i would assume yes, but unclear when.

definitely Not getting the keys to the city are mercedes for their weird, kind of sexual, kind of foursome esque promotional? video? for something??? idk they all look like they want to fuck the cars and george tells mick he wants to dominate him and mick looks like he wants to be anywhere But there. (side note cause i have no idea i don't go into this side of the fandom: do people ship these two? cause in my day and age this would be grounds for like at least 30 ao3 fics alone) 

and since we havent had it in awhile: the government mandated mclaren update!!!

lando and oscar took a photo with a baby, which lando looked positively thrilled about and oscar looked like he would rather be anywhere but there.

and they also did whatever this was. i have no context and no one else does either.

lando did a commercial for polo red cologne which made him kind of look like he was trying to be…well i was going to say a greaser but that's the wrong word. so im not sure. 

oscar was photographed in a white button up shirt. which looks hilariously similar to the generic white button up shirt that everyone else takes pictures in. and i lost the link so just trust me.

and oscar and lando also did….whatever this is together. 

someone on tumblr dissected the (old) williams logo to an insane degree and it apparently is incredibly incredibly lopsided and crooked. doesnt really have anything to do with f1 at all but it is a funny read if you want to read it.

and it was world mental health day. lando posted some things about it and so did george. others might have as well but i only saw these two, which makes sense as they are two of the ones who have talked about mental health kind of extensively. take this as a reminder everyone, check in on your friends! say hi! let them know you're thinking about you!

so every year there is this thing called the race of champions. and I am not overly familar with it and how it works but i do know that a good few years ago mick schumacher and sebastian vettel competed on the same team representing team germany. and next year they are going to do the same thing again! which is cool!

and seb was seen wearing corduroy on corduroy again and was interviewed about who he thinks is going to win the championship. he said he thinks its max. 

and so with that. we can finally get into the real actual race weekend. 

media day

and well. we know this is texas. and everyone goes entirely out in texas. including alpine. who decided to do this.

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pierre later posted a photo series of the texas fits, and managed to post one photo of esteban, with no tag, the only one where he wasn't looking at the camera. 

(they also kind of stole this from red bull a few years ago)

charles and george were asked to try to say lights out and away we go in an american accent. among other things. which was. interesting. i didn't realize it was so hard to say “y’all” for europeans.

alex was also asked to say yeehaw

and george later also said howdy partner, really really terribly.

george was also given a football during a fan stage and quite literally punted it into the crowd.

lewis showed up in all denim

yuki showed up in this slay of an outfit 

carlos and charles were made cowboy hats

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and carlos also turned into a barista to make ollie coffee in the ferrari hospitality

it was alex albon’s 100th race, so he decided to go back to his first ever karting helmet for this weekend:

oscar also had a cool helmet that he is going to wear for This race And the vegas race (because 2 usgps are the same, right? no but i admire him for doing this its funny as shit)

and charles also had a helmet. im pretty sure. well i know he was wearing one. it would be bad if he hadnt. but im writing this on the train and my hot spot gave out so were on train wifi and my links wont open so this will be a surprise when i format everything later. (edit from the future, it was that he put a cowboy hat on his helmet)

and max ran a blue helmet. though it wasn't the daniel special helmet (sadly) it was still cool.

also with helmets come liveries. mclaren did a chrome livery which did actually look pretty cool.

and haas of course did a livery, as they are an american team.

and alpine was orange and totally stealing mclaren’s look. this was because they did a promo thing with the new indiana jones movie (probably cause like every celebrity ever (except nico rosberg) sponsors their team)

haas also got a sim??? maybe??? im not sure that's all it says in my notes and i cant be bothered to do more research on it than that right now, because again, train. 

with our return to texas came the return of everyones least favorite sky sports presenter: danica patrick. remember, we all thought that she got fired earlier in the year for saying something about lizard people but turns out she was just taking a break until texas? well yeah, shes back. (why don't we like her? well aside from the weird lizard people thing despite her herself being a prominent woman in motorsport she doesnt want other women? in motorsport? im pretty sure that's the whole thing???)

and guess who else was back? that's right it was jenson button, danica patrick’s biggest hater. 

and once again, they were the duo that Shouldn't

during the off week they (they being like the motorsport council or something) decided that next year there will be No extra point for fastest lap. 

was this directly related to the Daniel Taking The Point From Lando thing in singapore? undoubtedly. man you really cant let a guy live in his own doomed narrative anymore, can you?

fernando alonso also had an opinion about it:

"there are not many things in formula 1 that are not in spirit of the rules. thats how you win championships. i think what daniel did in singapore is the dna of formula 1"

and of course, there was talk about the swearing and max’s community service penalty. mostly talk with george russell. the gpda director. you know…the drivers union leader???? yeah. here is what he had to say about it:

“it does seem silly that it has come to this. next week we’ll have a letter or something to show where we’re at” (we being the drivers, apparently they are all on the same page about this.) “we’ve yet to speak to the FIA as of yet, but we hope to do so probably next week, maybe in Mexico. collectively we’re all on the same page. next week, we’ll probably formally put something towards [the media] to read from the drivers as a united whole….we don't want to be taking away the heat of the moment emotions that drivers show during a race, and i think it is down to maybe the broadcaster when it comes to the race to choose if they want to broadcast that or not. it is very challenging for the drivers when you have a microphone you're talking with your team, you're in the middle of battle, but equally if its an environment [like a press conference] maybe we have a duty just to be conscious of our words. Next week we will probably collectively have a letter to share.” 

unrelated to that, george also hinted that the mercedes next year might not suck?

and they made mick talk to a remote control car. 

liam and yuki, the new teammates, were being silly at the fan stage because liam said: "we've had more crashes than i can count together over the years"

yuki: "the more we race the more contact we have"

liam: "its always yukis fault"

yuki: "no his"

liam: "obviously we cant to that now yuki"

oscar was aksed about having a rivalry with liam lawson. and he said that there isn’t really one because the cars are on diferent levels

"i kind of hope not, because i think with the differences in car performance. it we're rivals on track, then somethings either going really well for one of us or really badly for the other"

and max continued to cause problems by saying that oscar is Not a number 2 driver.

"for me hes definitely not a number two driver and if i was him u would never accept it."

red bull was forced to address the daniel thing and as expected they did so shittily. they said that his “post-F1 future is undecided.” and had to say he wouldn't be in texas and etc etc

and last but not least. fernando is brat.

sorry for the speed run here, but it is quite literally saturday and i refuse to get behind. the boys are already in mexico and qualifying as im writing this, i gotta speed up. 

so sprint qualifying

remember how i said not even like 2 lines ago that it was saturday night? well now its sunday morning so really, please, just excuse the mess okay. i had a week. but i am nothing if not committed to the damn bit even though i know no one reads this anymore (i do not blame you for that btw, it is a long and slightly terrible post)

in any case. mclaren and and red bull and haas all brought upgrades (and maybe more actually). haas had a lot and i think mclaren did too. which you might think is odd because remember a sprint weekend means that there is only one practice session for you to get your shit together before you need to qualify for the sprint, and that is a challenge when you bring a lot of upgrades that need fine tuning. 

(though i think mclaren also did this in miami? which was a sprint weekend and they managed to win that one, as im sure we all remember or maybe you don't)

in any case. mclaren did Not have their upgrades figured out. haas did though, which was wild because theyre haas. and also the cota track is notoriously bumpy and kind of different from most of the other tracks. crofty described it as having a “relenting, undulating nature” whatever that means.

alex albon decided that he wanted to go for a spin in sq1. martin brundle was unimpressed by this and said “a good car should spin like that.” hes probably right about that. 

most shocking though was that oscar was out in sq1. mclaren Really Really didn't have their upgrades figured out At All. zak brown though decided to undersell that a little by saying “the drivers arent totally happy with the balance o the race car right now”

unshocking was that zhou had no power. as will buxton later said, no matter what upgrades they put into the stake car, it just doesnt want to work. 

unshocking was also that ted spent about three minutes talking about the swiss flag. no i have no idea why. 

and apparently i also have it written in my notes here that gunther steiner is opening a bed and breakfast. interesting. can we please get back to racing? 

keving magnussen tried to get one of the vcarbs in trouble for an unsafe release, martin was displeased with this and was like no. bestie you are wrong. you drive 200kph around this track that release was not unsafe. 

martin was correct, once again.

he was really batting a thousand today. 

im not sure if that is actually how you use that saying but im slightly too lost in the sauce to care about it so.

yuki managed to knock checo straight out of qualifying which was objectively kind of hilarious. later on we had the post race show crew saying that we really Need to get yuki in a red bull to at least do some tests (aparently honda is pushing for this) because liam has done red bull tests but yuki hasnt.

liam lawson also found himself out in sq2, but hewas down in 15th, and directly infront of one oscar piastri in 16th. what was that about the rivalry, oscar???

franco and pierre also almost crashed. and franco cursed about it over the radio: “man gasly. what the fuck? we almost crashed!” but no community service for him….

into sq3. lewis hamilton was pissed that the team kept sending him out really really early. “cmon guys, that was not good” he said once his time showed that he was a whole .7 seconds. george was also p1. 

franco also went spin. thats two williams now if you're keeping track. franco is also the first williams driver to make it to sq3 in 2024

and there were some new (?) camera angles at this race, one was a lower  backwards angle that the announcers did not like because “its like driving backwards on a train” (it is actually kind of cool, makes the cars seem very very fast)

anyway. carlos, lando and charles could Not pass george’s time. but you know who did????

DUDUDUDUDU

MAX VERSTAPPEN

he was back on pole! back like he never left! .012 seconds faster than george! and people predicted that he wanted to make a Statement like lando had in zandvoort.

pre spring race itself there were some other funny things that happened like ruth buscombe talking about franco’s aura

and max gave some slightly longer answers in the press conference, but said that he is still protesting, "hes just not an asshole"im just a good person". 

and also we gotta talk about the ferrari strategy. because ferrari did have a strategy and it seemed to be, no upgrades just a hope and a dream and charles leclerc

which did perhaps turn out to be correct because he qualified third

onto the sprint

so we had max starting p1, george p2, charles p3, lando p4, carlos p5, nico p6, lewis p7, kevin p8, yuki p9 and franco p10. and then you know, everyone else. 

and 19 laps ahead of us.

straight out of the gate lando managed to launch himself forward into p2. which was nothing short of insane. it also left carlos and charles right next to each other. and after charles was done trying to fight george for p3 (and failing) he started fighting with carlos. like really fighting with carlos. like maybe slightly too much fighting with carlos. like i thought they were going to ram the hell into eachother fighting with carlos. 

george, throughout this, stayed in his lance, as hes been doing this year and got a fastest lap. 

which was soon taken by max. 

despite their literal kerfuffles with eachother, carlos and charles both wanted to stop wasting time fighting eachother? 

“weve got to try and get back to the others, if possible” charles said on lap 4

then carlos kind of shoved him slightly off and managed to pass him on lap 6 before saying “lets go and get them guys”

oscar meanwhile had made it to 12th

and there was other Steam brewing down the grid in the cockpit of one fernando alonso who had liam lawson trying to pass him. 

“man” fernando said on lap 9. “the alpha tauri is such an idiot”  

alpha tauri? you might be asking

yeah. that's the old name of the visa cashapp racing bulls. the last person to call them this was james vowels, all the way back in monaco. 

the vcarb social media people had some fun with this when they decided to post this picture of liam and fernando arguing later in the pit lane with this caption: 

oblivious to that though was carlos, who managed to pass george on lap 9. 

there wasn't much george could do about though because he had killed his tires trying to chase down lando and had almost no tires left. “my left front is toast!” he said a lap later, getting overtaken by charles. 

and then oscar got a 5 second penalty for pushing pierre off the track. been kind of awhile since weve had a good weekend of penalties. and this weekend, let me tell you, this was the first of Many. 

charles didn't care about that though, because he put in a fastest lap. 

i was watching with my sister by the way and it was at this point that she said to me “i think charles strategy is don't think just feel” and she was correct. because he was now back to chasing his teammate, absolutely no team orders to be had at ferrari. and charles apparently had slightly better tires.

and while he was doing that. yuki was battling checo. but he managed not to pass. 

oscar arrived at the scene of that crime a moment later. checo was 9, yuki was 10 and oscar was 11. oscar eventually managed to get past yuki.

out in front by the way was still max and lando. and in case you're wondering, since miami, both of them have scored the Exact Same Number Of Points. wild. 

meanwhile the ferraris had stopped scrapping amongst themselves and were now trying to scrap with lando. so we had a three way battle for p2. 

what had happened with mercedes? well they were down fighting for fifth after the tire thing and lewis was mad that people were talking to him in the braking. 

but the battle for p2. 

lando was back a little way from max and just trying to hang on in front of the ferraris. carlos was in front of charles at this point. and then lando locked up slightly on the last lap and carlos got through! but!! charles was unable to! so lando managed to hold on to third!

and then there was an Incident or an almost Incident between charles and lando. charles was behind and trying to pass. right. as one does when they are racing. but then lando took a weird line into a corner and nearly almost brake checked charles who had to swerve to avoid him and was at at him about it.

still! lando managed to hold p3 until the checkered flag which meant: MAX WON!!!!

its been so long since we have said that but MAX WON!!! carlos came p2 and lando came p3. charles came p4 and he was so mad about it that he threw his helmet in the garage.

but at least his brakes didn't light on fire like valtteri bottas’s did on the cooldown lap.

max continued his hatred of sprint races live on air while being interviewed by gunther steiner. 

“you’ve won 11 out of 16 f1 sprints (ever)” gunther said

“yeah,” max said. “maybe because i don't like them”

there was now a 54 point gap between max and lando and as laura winter said it only takes one dnf for this whole thing to turn on its head. 

so lets look at real qualifying

heading into qualifying we now had both haas cars with the full upgrades (previously it had just been nico) and also liam lawson was inheriting daniels 10 place grid penalty for power unit changing plus like another 60 place grid penalty for even More power unit changing. also liam lawson hadnt raced in a car in over a year. 

(and yeah remember fernando was picking fights with him. texas was fernando’s 399th start. liam has had like. 5. maybe fernando just needed someone new to pick on and be evil with? cause remember fernando is definitely a villain. hes incredibly villain. hes just been tame and someone reinvented his social media presence the last few years. but we all remember what he said many many years ago about michael schumacher (?) “i knew he would brake because he has a wife and kids at home”) (the red flags podcast talked about this kind of well actually)

fernando also passed liam coming out of the pit lane.

and you already know that we don't have time as usual so the interesting bits: 

lewis hamilton got out in q1. for the first time ever at cota. “my goodness, what is going on there?” said martin about That. and he ended up in p19 which was a “total shock” (though he ended up starting p17 cause of reasons okay we will Get there). lewis said that “the car was a nightmare. should probably start from the pitlane otherwise i wont be going anywhere” (as in change a lot of set ups before tomorrow)

george also barely made it out of q1 and said over radio at the end “whoa that was a little bit stressful” 

and liam lawson had a fun little moment where he went third fastest, which was “all he wanted to do” according to himself over the radio. essentially he wanted to stick it to red bull that he Can drive and he Should be in contention for the red bull seat. because apparently that is a thing that is happening (despite that checo posted the “im not leaving” clip from the office? friends? i don't know some tv show okay im bad at tv shows don't come for me ive never seen either after danny rics left) 

so liam went through to q2 Despite having to start last because of his p3 and he essentially just helped out yuki by giving him tows, though yuki complained that they were bad tows: 

“tell to liam when he gives me the slipstream, stay in the middle and go to the left at the end of the straight. i was picking up so much dust in the straight” 

despite that, yuki still got out in q2.

kevin magnussen though made it to q3 for the first time this year. incredible. 

pierre had a textbook unsafe release. 

and george was through to q3 but he was suffering and said on the radio “i don't know what we’re missing compared to yesterday” over the radio before he took a little spin into the barriers and effectively ended the session. 

that was bad news for max because he had been on a really really fast lap, but it was great news for lando who had been on pole. 

“mixed day for the brits” the announcers said “lando on pole, george in the wall and lewis p18” 

and that's where we found ourselves for the start of the race

george was starting in the pit lane because turned out that his suspension had been damaged and he needed to repair it. lewis was not starting from the pit line (like he said he would be) he was starting in p17 

and charles, in all his furious glory because need i remind you that he threw his helmet, was starting p4 BEHIND lando, max AND carlos. 

and yet somehow, off the line, he managed to LAUNCH himself into p1.

he being charles.

the launching being from p4 to p1. 

off the line meaning turn 1.

truly it was a sight to see. 

meanwhile, lewis had also managed to jump from p17 up to p12 and it seemed like he was on a regular rampage. 

that is until, he managed to beach himself in the gravel on lap 2, effectively ending his race. 

“That’s so unusual for lewis” said the announcers and they were right because !!! lewis has only had 32 dnfs in his whole career. which has been 18 years now. 

regardless. there was a yellow flag. and a safety car! in this economy! we have had no safety car since Canada! (and this is the longest no safety car steak since 2003)

lando was attempting to say that max pushed him off the track to pass him (untrue) and lance dropped back down towards the back of the grid because he seemingly left the track and gained an advantage over alex albon but then clearly somehow lost that advantage

charles was already over a second ahead of max and had the fastest lap. 

this was when lovely roommate katya said “you know. i too might think that charles leclerc is the seconding coming of christ” 

though hold your prancing horses because carlos was having a problem. 

he had dropped back a little, said he had no power on the corners and that it smelled like fuel in his car. “it smells a lot like fuel in the car guys” he said again on lap 10. he was told to sit tight. there wasn't really much else he Could do obviously but it was still slightly stressful.

while that was happening, zhou took a spin and came back on in p19.

and then ferrari managed to somehow fix carlos’s car. float like a cadillac sting like a beamer etc etc. 

“the ferrari pace is mighty” martin said. “only max can stay near it” 

liam lawson meanwhile had managed to pass fernando for 11th, with no comments this time. liam, btw, was not racing under the number 95 despite being the worlds biggest lightning mcqueen fan. he was racing under the number 30. unsure why he picked that number but. liam. i am disappointed. 

george had managed to get into 15th. remember that he started from the pit lane. he then passed bottas for 14th and starting to chase down franco for 13th. this is something of a usual thing for george when he gets a penalty or a bad start, he becomes an absolute menace. 

meanwhile charles was now 5.5 seconds clear of max. 

and max had some kind of issue that he was told would get sorted out in the pit stop.

george managed to get past franco for 13th.

but he was given a five second penalty for apparently pushing bottas off the track. 

george was displeased. 

“what?” he said, comically. 

“total joke with the penalty george, total joke” toto said over the radio.

so george only then became, somehow, more of a menace as the sole merc left standing. he was offered, btw, lewis’s upgrades after he had crashed in qualifying, but was like yeah fuck that i don't want the upgrades because they don't really work. so he was racing on the singapore spec car. 

in any case! the stewards had not been being consistent with the penalties At All which was apparently going to get discussed in the upcoming union meeting, along with the swearing. 

yuki and nico had a “terrific tussle” but it ended with yuki pitting. still it was good racing, hope you're watching horner!

and then carlos also decided to employ a Good Ferrari Strategy (they had clearly been saving it, those need to charge up like uh idk shells or something in mario kart? idk how mario kart works either sorry maybe IM the one batting a thousand today) by undercutting max on his pit stop. carlos pitted on lap 22. 

charles was slightly displeased. “don't leave me out for too long i don't want to be under pressure” he said on lap 24. 

and then, somehow, mclaren had pace again. and they started talking about something called the germany situation?

max came in to pit BUT the damage had already been done, carlos was ahead, he had undercut him!!!

and charles then came in on lap 26, with ferrari actually listening to him (for once)

pierre gasly had previously been pretty high up in the points but was having a rather rotten sour run of it down on his hard tires, which seemed to be a common complaint from almost everyone, but he went off the track to pass alex albon and then got a black and white flag for track limits, but no penalty…hm.

george was still rage mode insaning. 

ferrari though still managed to have a classic ferrari moment despite how well they were doing because carlos was told “more phase 1 brake release in turn 1” and he said “i don't know what that means.” 

mclaren finally pitted on lap 33. “theyre getting real dramatic on the mclaren pit wall” crofty said. “‘trust the car,’ ‘papaya rules,’ ‘the germany situation.’”

then, pierre got a five second penalty for the alex albon incident.

george, somehow, had gotten up to 6th and was chasing oscar. though he was on a one stop and was just about to come in (along with liam lawson)

the lead at this point was charles, carlos, max, lando and oscar. with lando setting the fastest lap.

and yuki and alex were now under investigation for an Incident with the Track Limits (see i told you there were plenty of penalties this weekend. maybe everyone got upset that kevin had stopped war criming) and yuki ended up with a 5 second penalty for it.

and in case you were wondering, checo (p9) was once again stuck behind franco colapinto (p8) in a race. 

martin told us all that he had tried to introduce himself to franco earlier this weekend, but franco ignored him. he might have thought that martin was trying to steal his umbrella. 

max was also complaining about the hard tires. “these tires just arent good, i cant brake i cant attack i cant do anything”

checo finally managed to pass colapinto on lap 38

yuki was mad that liam had ended up in front of him and he was told that “other car was more powerful than expected” 

kevin magnussen got YELLED AT to box and i literally mean that his engineer was like “YOU MUST BOX NOW” but despite that it was a normal and standard pit stop. 

carlos set the fastest lap on lap 40. charles responded with a faster one. they were still p2 and p1 respectively. 

george pitted and served his 5 second time penalty. he came out in 8th. and yuki took a little spin in turn 1. 

there were now 1.5 seconds between max and lando. who were battling for p3. 

george took the fastest lap on lap 43. he had never before had a points finish after starting any lower than 18th. he overtook nico for 7th and then started to chase down checo for 6th, already lapping one second faster than him per lap. 

meanwhile, lando had drs on max. and they were scrapping around like it was austria again. 

franco then took the fastest lap on lap 48 and he was in p10 so he would get the extra point.

lando was .3 seconds behind max. 

“textbook defensive driving from max” martin said. 

they were still going. lando tried to pass max multiple times, but max was always slightly ahead and lando just ran out of room. he did finally manage to get in front on lap 53. 

but it was off the track.

both had different views.

“he overtook me outside of the track!” max said

“I was ahead at the apex” lando said. 

“he needs to give it back!” max said.

and so they went under investigation. 

mclaren argued that both cars went off the track (because they did) but that  lando was ahead at the apex. 

while that nonsense was happening. esteban ocon went fastest (later franco got mad about this in a post interview he was like he took my fastest lap! why did he pit with two laps left for softs! cmon were supposed to be saving the planet! or something.)

in any case though, lando had exceeded track limits a bunch of times at this point and red bull told max that they were at least expecting lando to get a five second penalty for track limits, if not overtaking outside of the track. so max went flat out chasing him back down.

and george passed checo on lap 56.

lando was indeed given a 5 second penalty.

and he only finished 4.2 seconds ahead of max, so we had max getting p3. 

but more importantly: CHARLES AND CARLOS GOT A 1-2!!!!

“and that's my boy! another win!” charles’s race engineer said. 

lando was not in a mood to celebrate though. “well then i should have given it back shouldn't i?” he asked about the position over the radio, defeatedly. 

“my god that was a hard race,” max said. “bit weird that you can overtake off the track.” 

“well you cant,” his engineer said. 

and while charles took his time waving to his adoring fans, everyone else pulled into parc ferme. 

charles p1

carlos p2

max p3

lando p4

oscar p5

george p6

checo p7

nico p8

liam p9

franco p10

kevin p11

pierre p12

fernando p13

yuki p14

lance p15

alex p16

valtteri p17

esteban p18

guanyu p19

lewis DNF

and jenson button was waiting to interview the top 3

max said that he had opinion on how the overtaking with lando went but he wouldn't say

charles and carlos were distracted taking pictures and made jenson wait lol

carlos said that he did have to settle for p2 but was impressed with the pace and said that ferrari are doing much better this year (remember this car had no damn upgrades just charles a hope and a dream)

charles said that it was a difficult weekend but “well it was a pretty good turn 1, that was what i wanted to do!” and he also said that he is still targeting the WDC title, which he has something like a 2.7% chance of winning. stay delusional charles we love you. 

the trophies were weird and by weird i mean literally shaped like tires. like they were tires. except charles was different. carlos dropped his and it bounced. the reason was that they had other ones but apparently they couldn't use them for copyright reasons? or something. so they got tires. 

also mclaren ended their podium streak.

and ferrari are only 8 points behind red bull in the constructors championship now. 

all in all it was a rather exciting race, for everyont except maybe oscar who said it was “pretty boring. my job was to find pace and keep people behind so that was my hour and a half.” he did also say that maybe lando and max and everyone else who got five second penalties should have “maybe done nascar rules and fought it out on track or in the garage (as in beat eachother up) but some people tried and got community service for it”

liam lawson also slayed. he went from 19th to 9th. in his first race of the season after a year out of the cars. 

he said that he hasnt “spoken to him [fernando] since [yesterday, the sprint] i don't think ive done anything wrong, i expected him to put up more of a fight but he didn't.”

ollie bearman also appeared in the post race show and suggested that he replace will buxton as a presenter for mexico. “haas brought an upgrade this weekend, f1tv brings and upgrade next weekend.” they told him not to change. 

also the dallas cowboys cheerleaders appeared and got james hinchcliffe to dance with them? and he was kind of flirting the whole time? actually they were both flirting the whole time? it was truly baffling. 

but back to racing. lando thought he was in the right with what the team argued but “i don't make the rules.” also the presenters said that he keeps making the same passing move on max and doesnt do it quick enough so max has time to predict it. 

charles was asked in the press conference if his strategy changed because of max. max told him to just say yes when charles hesitated. 

and there was probably more but seeing as we have exactly presently 4 hours and 10 minutes to lights out in mexico and i still havent watched qualifying we don't have time for this. 

we do though have time for one story and that is this:

my dad went on a business trip to austin texas early on monday morning after the race. and the whole time we were joking like oh haha watch dad run into a driver. 

well

only my father could manage to check into the same hotel that liam lawson was checking out of by sheer and absolute coincidence. 

his texts to the family group chat were, well, a little unhinged as he didn't remember liams name but somehow recognized him as a driver (despite the fact that he is probably the most obscure of them right now) and remembered what team he drove for. (ask me how you remember visa cashapp racing bulls but not liam lawson? i have no idea but that's my father for you) but he did tell us that he looked like “the guy from teen beach” meaning ross lynch. i don't know how my father even knew this comparison. he has seen teen beach once and fell asleep during crusin for a bruisin

so a few google searches later he had a name. which he shared with us.

since he was busy packing his car to presumably go to the airport, my dad elected not to bother him (he also couldn't remember if he had raced on sunday and didn't want to go up and be like hey good job! when he didn't know if he had raced) 

but he did take exactly 7 stalkerish photos of him. which he shared with us. which i will now share with you so that you all believe me that this really happened. 

and with that out of the way. ill see you all very very shortly in mexico. 

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

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then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

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he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

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-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[atlabeth]

nightmares - mike munroe x reader

summary: It was a deal made by two almost-friends in the early hours of the morning after the worst night of their lives, when they realized that all they really had left was each other.

a/n: so this is once again. not my normal content but ive been on an until dawn kick lately and fell in love w the characters all over again. i dont know if anyone still reads or writes for this fandom but. here u go. enjoy

warning(s): lots of cursing, canon typical violence, mentions of graphic violence/death (but nothing too descriptive), mentioned depression, insomnia, and alcoholism, some heavy themes but its hurt/comfort so it ends in fluff

wc: 4.8k

You were running.

You were running, and it was freezing — fuck, it was freezing.

You knew your surroundings; how could you ever forget? Every fucking moment on the goddamn mountain was engraved into your mind for what you assumed would be the rest of your life, an assumption that had since been proven correct.

And now, against your will, you were back. Of course you were back.

A shudder ran through your whole body as that all-too-familiar screech rang out behind you, each second of it like nails on a chalkboard in the worst way. Your lungs burned like all hell but you couldn’t stop — if you stopped, you were as good as dead.

Some part of this fucked up thing was almost funny. Humans were always boasting about how they were the top of the food chain, how they were the height of evolution. There was nothing to keep an ego in check like being hunted by a supernatural creature.

Any thoughts of bullshit philosophy were dashed from your mind as you took a hard right, nearly falling over from the sharp curve of the mountain but just able to catch yourself. Your heart was thundering in your chest, the beats nearly lining up with your sprinting. You felt an intense urge to turn around, try and gauge your chances, but the thought of slowing down for even a second terrified you. It’s not like you needed to anyways — you knew exactly what was after you.

You were nearing the end of your road, both literally and figuratively. You stumbled over a tree root, your hands splayed out in front of yourself at just the right angle to keep your momentum going and, in some feat of luck, stay upright and running.

But your luck had just run out.

Your senses were proven correct as the harrowing cliff edge came into view, and a thousand things screamed in your mind at once as your demise stared you right in the eye. You barely managed to catch yourself, very much aware that the snow falling into the void could’ve just as well been you.

That fucking screech again, even closer than before, and you whipped around as you took an instinctive step back. Your hands patted around everywhere, searching for something to defend yourself, but you had nothing. No gun, knife, even the ground around you was devoid of rocks.

You had nothing. You had nothing to defend yourself from this goddamn nightmare creature, and you were going to die.

Your eyes darted around wildly in an attempt to find something, anything, to save yourself, but there was nothing. You took another step back and felt your foot slip, your breath catching as you barely managed to save yourself with a twist and a lunge away from the edge. The shock of the ground and the cold against your skin was just enough to remind yourself that you were actually alive. Another pile of snow mimicked the fate that seemed imminent as it trickled over the side of the cliff, and you screwed your eyes shut as you tried to shut your mind up.

Think, goddammit, if you wanted to get off of this fucking mountain you had to think—

The screech that pierced through the night sky was far too close for comfort, and as your head snapped back towards the woods you swore that your heart stopped beating.

It had caught up. You were out of time you were going to die but you didn’t have anything and you were going to fucking die—

A flash of white pushed off a tree and lunged towards you, teeth bared as it emitted that horrible screech. You didn’t even have time to scream, completely frozen in place as one clawed hand reached your neck, and you braced for the moment of release.

You shot up in your bed, breathing rapid and unsteady with a barely contained cry on the edge of your lips as your hand instinctively flew to your neck. You heaved an almost strangled sigh of relief to know that your head was still attached to your body (it might’ve seemed obvious, but… your head wasn’t exactly on straight at the moment, all jokes aside) and collapsed against the headboard.

You ran your hands across your face as you tried in vain to calm yourself down, ultimately having to turn on your lamp to ease your troubled mind that there was nothing going thump in the night.

It had been this same routine almost every night — horrible nightmare, wake up crying or screaming or both, and start the day at 3 am because you couldn’t fall back asleep.

It was exhausting. You were exhausted.

You knew you couldn’t go on like this, but what choice did you have? Therapy had been mandated by the police for a certain amount of time after the incident, but… it’s not like it had helped. How could it, when no one truly knew what you had gone through?

Well… that wasn’t completely accurate.

One person knew what you were going through, and you hadn’t said as much as one word to him since that night. You didn’t really… know what to say.

Hey. I know we’re not all that close, but I’m sorry your girlfriend and all your friends were killed by a Wendigo and that I made it instead. Hope you’re not going insane with grief. I’ll send you a card at Christmas!

...yeah. You had no idea what to say to him after months of no contact.

The relationship you had with Mike Munroe was a strange one, to say the least.

None of you were the same after that night on the mountain. The horrors of the mines would be forever entrenched in your head, flashes of the Wendigos appearing every time you closed your eyes. You and Mike were the only ones who made it off, and the guilt you carried everywhere was a burden you knew you couldn’t shoulder. And even after the physical scars had faded, you knew the mental ones never would.

Sometimes you wondered how you had even managed to get involved with the group in the first place — bonds that had been made in your freshman and sophomore years had somehow managed to stay strong enough throughout the rest of high school, strong enough to cement your spot in the friend group and the yearly lodge visits. You liked them all well enough, enough to go up to an isolated mountain with them for a weekend or so, but… yeah. Sometimes you did wonder what the hell you were doing with them.

But now?

Now, you would give almost anything to hear Sam’s laugh or one of her compliments, or tease Ashley and Chris about their very obvious feelings; hell, you found yourself missing Matt’s useless football facts. And even though Emily and Jessica weren’t always the nicest, you still had managed to worm your way into their hearts. Knowing that you would never get Emily’s brutal but helpful advice or get dragged to a football game by Jessica again?

If someone had told you the difference between life-long trauma and a completely normal existence was that blonde girl with the braids in your biology class, you might’ve thought a little harder before accepting that party invite.

The days after you were rescued from the mountain passed in a daze, questions and interrogations from police never sticking for too long. And it didn’t even feel like it mattered, the way none of them seemed to believe you.

They kept you separated from Mike throughout the whole process, and you were only able to catch glances of him when you were being transferred to different rooms throughout the long process. It really was like something out of a horror movie — a group of teens go up to a lodge in the woods, and only two return with a story of unspeakable horrors — and rather than try and work out what had happened, they seemed intent on pinning the deaths on you and Mike.

As if you weren’t dealing with enough after watching your friends get murdered by the monster of another friend, the people that were supposed to be helping you were instead trying to charge you with them. If it wasn’t so fucking infuriating, it would’ve been laughable.

The worst part? You could hardly blame them.

When you took a second to listen to yourself, to what you were spouting to the police, you sounded insane. If you hadn’t witnessed it all first hand, you wouldn’t have believed yourself.

You told them to go down to the mines. That the thing that killed your friends would be down there, and they could see it for themselves.

You didn’t know if that was the right choice. Hell, you might’ve been sending those cops to their deaths. But it was the only way you could think of to get them to believe you.

(You doubted they would go down there anyways. What was the word of two crazy college kids over actual logic? Not much, you imagined.)

You were in that damn interrogation room for what felt like forever until you were finally taken to a hospital to get your wounds treated. But even in the hospital bed, police were by your side asking about what happened every day of your stay. After your discharge, you were forced into custody until they got information that they deemed satisfactory.

By some miracle, you and Mike weren’t charged with anything. The news might’ve gotten hold of your story, but you didn’t know. You didn’t want to know. You didn’t ever look at the news after the tragedy, too afraid that you would see the smiling faces of your friends staring back at you, or pictures of you and Mike with news anchors trying to talk about how involved the two of you were.

If there was one thing worse than going through hell, it was other people trying to make a profit off of your spiral.

Your friends’ families offered their condolences, but not much else. You didn’t hold it against them. Your survivor’s guilt was strong enough to know exactly why they didn’t reach out further.

(You blame yourself for their deaths, after all. Why wouldn’t they?)

It was the same situation with Mike.

Maybe you had purposefully drifted apart from him, trying to build up walls of your own so that he wouldn’t be able to spring it on you first. You assumed he hated you after what had happened, and he had every right to. You might’ve helped each other through the night, but you had no other option. Now, everyone else but you was dead — people he cared about more than you — and you just couldn’t face that.

But as you stared at yourself in your bathroom mirror, you realized that you might have to.

You looked awful.

Weeks of sleepless nights were catching up to you, appearing in the form of

hollow eyes and dark circles, along with a slight discoloration of your skin. The scars from the mountain had mostly healed, but there was a particularly nasty gash on your cheek that was still showing — it wasn’t doing you any favors in the ‘looking completely normal and sane and not severely sleep deprived’ department.

You splashed some water in your face to try and wake up a bit, but the slight drowsiness that followed you everywhere seemed to be a permanent part of you now.

(It was almost funny, in a way. You were so paranoid and alert all the time, unable to fall asleep, and yet it was all you could think about in moments like these. You wondered when irony had become such a staple in your life.)

You had tried talking to therapists, your friends, your family, even searching the internet for advice on what to do after a life changing traumatic event. Nothing had worked.

The simplest solution had come to mind more than once, but you had pushed it aside with the determination to work through this on your own. But now, staring at yourself and seeing how much you had deteriorated…

You had to go talk to the only person who would understand.

~

You had considered turning around more than once on the drive over.

Because, really, what the hell were you doing? Showing up at his doorstep in the middle of o dark thirty because— because what?

Because you had a nightmare?

He had gone through the same thing you had, probably even worse. Losing Jessica right in front of him, having to cut off his fingers to get free, spending countless hours alone, dealing with the nightmare that was the sanatorium, and then…

Well, you had been in the mines with him and Josh when it happened. There was no doubt in your mind that the scene replayed in his head endlessly, just like it did for you.

Showing up… it was going to be a mistake. You knew it was.

For all you knew, Mike had moved on already. He was stronger than you, he always had been. Maybe your presence would send him spiraling once more, or maybe it would just earn you a verbal beating like no other. Mike had always been nice enough, but the trauma you had endured was enough to turn a saint into his own worst enemy.

You didn’t know what would happen. You didn’t know anything, and as you turned down his street you regretted more than ever not keeping in touch with him. Maybe then you wouldn’t be in this situation, scrambling after your last hope for salvation after slowly killing yourself over the past few months.

But there was no chance to turn back now, because before you knew it your knuckles were rapping against his front door.

The pause between your arrival and a response was so long that you considered leaving and pretending like this never happened, but just as you began to step back the door swung open.

You didn’t really know what you were expecting, but… he was there. The only other testament to the horrors of Blackwood Pines, and maybe the only person that could help you through this.

“...hi,” you murmured, swallowing the sudden lump in your throat as you looked the personification of your shame in the eye.

Mike blinked a few times, whether to try and wake up a little or out of surprise from his visitor you didn’t know, but it was a few seconds before he responded in kind. “...hey. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you around.”

You chuckled dryly as you nodded. “Yeah. Sorry for the sudden arrival. I’m, uh… I’m kind of surprised you even opened the door.”

He huffed out a short breath in a facsimile of a laugh. “Not getting much sleep these days.”

“That’s something we’ve got in common.” You crossed your arms across your chest and let out a loose sigh, eyes wandering around in an attempt to think of what to say next. It should’ve been so easy, but… but for some reason, it just wasn’t.

“Guess so.” That awkward silence stretched out once more, neither of you knowing how to fill it. Thankfully, Mike continued to take the plunge, but it wasn’t without a slight barb. “What are you doing here?”

“I—” you stopped just as you had begun, because you really didn’t know. You had come here for help, but could Mike really do that for you? He was the same as you — a fucked up teenager trying to deal with something so far beyond him.

“I don’t know,” you admitted as you made eye contact once more. “I… I really don’t know. I’m out of options, and… I can’t keep going like this. So I came here to talk, or— or to try and get some help. I don’t know.”

That same silence filled the air once more, the night ambiance the only thing in between the two of you. You missed when that silence used to be comfortable, but… you could only blame yourself for it.

“So— so, what?” he asked, the beginnings of a frown starting to crease his brows. “You just— we go through all that together up there, and then when we get back down you don’t say a word for months. And now— now, out of nowhere, in the middle of the night, you just show up and ask for help?”

“God,” you muttered. When he put it that way, it was true. It was ridiculous, to expect his help after the way you had just left him to deal with it all on his own for a reason borne of your own insecurity. “You’re right. This was— this was stupid. I’m sorry.”

You had already turned to go when you felt a calloused hand on your shoulder, causing you to stop in your tracks.

“No.” His voice was surprisingly soft as he sighed, stepping back with a shake of his head to make room in the doorway. “No, I—” Mike paused for a moment, as if he couldn’t find the right words to say. “I’m sorry. You can come in. Obviously, you can come in.”

Your eyes widened slightly as you tried to hide your shock at the gesture, but you weren’t about to turn it down. You nodded, and he stepped aside to make space for you to walk in. When you did, you were met with a mess not unlike the one back at your apartment, save for the beer bottles. Clothes were strewn about haphazardly on every surface, so you took a seat on a clean spot on the floor, leaning back against a chair and pulling your knees up to your chest. You actually preferred it this way — it was grounding, in a literal sense. Mike pushed aside a laundry basket and did the same, but pulled one leg up and let the other lay extended.

“Why?” he asked suddenly, breaking the silence that had been accumulating once more. “Why did you just…” he gestured around with his hands to try and get his point across but ultimately settled with a sigh. “You didn’t say anything. You didn’t try to text, or call, or write, or— or anything. Hell, I would’ve probably jumped to get a messenger pigeon from you. But it was just… radio silence.”

You picked at the dry skin on your thumbs as you tried to come up with an answer. “I… I don’t know,” you repeated. “It was stupid, and it was horrible of me to leave you alone. I mean… I don’t know why I did it. I know what I’ve been going through, and I know you’ve been going through the same. So I don’t know why I didn’t try to reach out and see how you were doing.”

He chuckled mirthlessly as his eyes swept over the empty bottles that had accumulated on the coffee table. “I’m not the best with alone.”

“I know,” you said quietly. “I thought…” you shook your head as you looked at the ceiling. “I thought that you hated me. I know that you cared about them all more, you were closer to all of them, and… and I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. That I would just always be a reminder of what you lost. And… and, I don’t know. Maybe it was my way of trying to move on. Was a stupid fucking idea, though.”

That got a genuine laugh out of him as he ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I get that. I dunno why I didn’t try to talk to you either. Maybe since you didn’t say anything, I didn’t want to either. This whole thing fucked me up.” His gaze moved to you. “Fucked us both up.”

“You can say that again,” you muttered as you tapped your fingers on your knees. “I can’t look anywhere without seeing them. I mean, I see that fucking…” you grimaced. “I see Josh, and I see what that thing did to him, and I just— I’m right back to step one.”

He swallowed hard and nodded. “...yeah. That was seven layers of fucked up.”

“You can’t just keep saying everything was fucked up,” you said dryly. “It was shitty, too.”

Mike snorted, some kind of slightly masochistic humor going on between the two of you. “Nothing really gets the point across like fucked up.”

“Guess you’re right,” you finally conceded with a small smile. “This is… this is nice. I’d almost forgotten what it was like to… I don’t know, to talk to someone like this.”

“It is,” he murmured.

Another pregnant pause hung in the air, but the silence wasn’t as uncomfortable now. Trickles of what it used to be like, of your old life, were beginning to poke through.

“I never hated you,” he said suddenly. Your eyes flicked up to meet his, and it was like his brown eyes were piercing through you as he continued. “I never did. After it happened… yeah, I was mad. I was fucking pissed, but it was never at you. You were my friend too, y’know? Even though we weren’t that close, we were still… we were still something. And I’m glad you made it. I just wish you hadn’t convinced yourself that you had to go through this alone. Maybe things would’ve turned out different, these past few months. For both of us.”

You nodded, choosing to avert eye contact first because you almost couldn’t handle the sincerity. Your heart sank a bit at the sight of all the beer bottles, and you knew that he was right. Maybe things would’ve been different if the two of you had weathered it together from the start. And so you said that.

“I still can’t help but feel like I’m to blame for—” you gestured around at the mess with a sigh, “for this.”

“Look.” His voice was raspy as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair, and as he met your eyes once more you were able to see how truly exhausted he was. With dark circles that matched your own, scars that were still healing, and a certain hollowness behind his eyes… It was like looking in a mirror. And it made you realize how fucked up the two of you had really become.

Mike had always been good at holding himself together, putting up his signature egotistical-douchebag-jock act in the face of anything that threatened to tear him down, and more often than not he came out victorious. But not even class presidents were immune to the horrors that they had faced, and it was taking more of a toll on him than you had realized.

“It’s not your fault. You— you did everything you could; I know I’m still alive because of you. Besides, we were idiot teenagers — we still are — and none of them deserved to die because of it. Not Hannah, not Beth, not any of them.” Mike shook his head and sighed. “Not even Josh. Man was fucked up even before all of this, but he didn’t deserve what happened to him. He needed help, but instead he got his fucking… god. I can’t even say it. But he didn’t deserve it.”

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, the subconscious process having stopped because of the weight of his words. It was cliche, but you didn’t know how much you needed to hear those four words: it’s not your fault.

“Maybe you should be my therapist,” you joked weakly. But as you let your eyes trail back to Mike you bit your lip. He hadn’t included himself in that statement, and it wasn’t too hard to figure out why.

“Mike… it wasn’t your fault either. You’re not just saying bullshit to try and make yourself feel better, it really wasn’t your fault. What do they say? ‘Getting through your guilt is the first step to recovery’ or some shit? You deserve to be here just as much as I do.”

“But it was,” he insisted. “It’s easy for you to say that. You tried to stop it, I… I just went along with it. Fuck, I started it all. Hannah and Beth went missing because of me, Josh went out of his fuckin’ mind, and if he hadn’t brought us all back up there for his revenge plot then they wouldn’t have died. How is it not my fault? Why do I get to live when all of them died because of me?”

“Mike,” you sighed. “I… I don’t know. I don’t know why we made it back when none of them did, but it’s not your fucking fault, okay? You— yeah, that prank was fucking stupid, but— but how could you know what was going to happen?” You huffed a laugh that was only slightly unhinged. “People pull pranks all the time. Native American legend cannibal spirit things don’t try to kill people all the time. You can’t keep blaming yourself. It’s not going to help them, and it’s not going to help you.”

That silence stretched out once more as he took in your words. You didn’t know if he believed them or not, but you did. That had to be worth something, right?

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” he muttered, breaking the silence once more. “And I… I don’t know. I don’t know why it took almost fucking dying from those goddamn things, a— and seeing what happened to all of them...”

“I don’t know,” he repeated, leaning back against the foot of the sofa. “All the shit that happened, all of them dying — I don’t know how long it’ll take until we’re okay again. Hell, I don’t even know if we ever will be okay again. What happened up there was fucked up in the worst way, and the fact that no one believes us makes it a hell of a lot worse.”

You chuckled darkly as you cupped one hand in the other. “You can say that again.”

His lips twitched for a moment as if he wanted to smile but ultimately thought better of it. “I know we aren’t that close anymore, but the truth is we’re the only ones on this fuckin’ planet that know what really happened up there. We’re the only ones that will ever really understand what happened to us, and… and I think we’re the only ones that can really help each other through this shit.”

He met your eyes once more, something resolute in them. “So the next time this happens, because it will, if you don’t want to be alone… you can come here. Any time, any day, no questions asked. Just knock on that door, and I will be there. No more isolation, no more trying to get through this on our own. We gotta be there for each other, because we’re all we have.”

You nodded gratefully, a feeling of warmth slowly creeping through your body with his reassurance. “Thank you, Mike. You… you have no idea what this means to me.”

“I think I have some clue,” he murmured.

As you exchanged weary smiles, you saw a faint twinkle in Mike’s eyes. He was always the kind of person to help others, even if it was for the wrong reasons, and that was one thing that stuck with him after the disaster. And in that moment, a long lost feeling washed over you — safety.

You hadn’t felt safe in… well, it seemed like forever. Adrenaline and pure instinct were responsible for getting you through those twelve hours, along with an overwhelming wave of numbness and denial. But once all of that wore off, the nightmares had begun. Your friends, the Wendigos, the mountain itself — anything and everything that your mind could use against you, it did.

It was a living hell. You could hardly ever sleep anymore, horrific images always jolting you awake after an hour or two and keeping you awake for the rest of the day. It was no wonder Mike had ended up with a drinking problem — it was probably the only way he could sleep, the only way he could bring some form of peace to his mind. By some miracle, you had avoided that fate, but… you would be lying if you said you hadn’t come close.

But somehow, for some reason, you could tell that things were going to be different. Now that you and Mike weren’t avoiding each other anymore in the name of painful memories… you felt like things were going to be okay. Or as close to okay as you could get these days.

You weren’t alone, and neither was he.

He had saved your life on the mountain more than once. Now, he was saving you again. Just in a different way.

-

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

ud tags: @kwyloz

[theambitiouswoman]

If you’re okay with sharing, have you ever had toxic behaviors or tendencies and then healed from them through therapy/inner work/etc.? What is your perspective or approach on self-forgiveness?

Yes. Okay so i'm going to ramble a bit on this topic because i am going to give a genuine response and really word vomit my thoughts as i go.

Even as an adult, i know i'm not perfect. i try to be, but obviously everyone has different lifestyles and view points so your actions, no matter how genuine or well intended they may be, might be perceived differently by people. I am the type of person who always apologizes when i do something wrong, always have been. however, i don't always notice when i do something wrong because i can be absent minded at times with 80 things going on in my head, or they are things that wouldn't affect me, so unless you spell it out for me, i really wont pick up on it. im crazy big on communication now. and i provide a very delayed reaction to things that affect me emotionally. i stop for a second, take a step back and really process the situation. because things are more than just how they make us feel. we are entitled to our feelings, yes. feel your feelings. but how we react is a different story. because a lot of times you'll find that situation as a whole is shitty, or the other person has a different view point, or that you're on the losing end of it. once you understand a situation you can forgive yourself, react better, cry about it etc but it removes the factor of a toxic reaction on your part.

i think a lot of my toxic tendencies have always had alot to do with how naive i am- have always been. i remember growing up, since i wasn't exposed to much, there were a lot of situations i wasn't mentally or emotionally ready to put myself in. as a result i reacted or responded the wrong way. a lot of it comes from literally me not understanding and just reacting off my emotions really. none the less, when you're young you can get away with that but as an adult it gets trickier.

i think what got me to learn about my toxic behavior and deciding to make a change was really getting screwed over and hurt over and over again.

for most of my life, i was NOT a good communicator. i blame it on the aries in me. i would say like 3 words and to me inside i felt like i had confessed my soul but people would look at me as if i said nothing. and i dont think people ever got that from me. to be honest i always and still am misunderstood. largely in part because i let people argue with themselves, the truth always comes out.

i was also such a people pleaser and a doormat. people used to take so much advantage of me. and i wanted them to like me lol so i let it happen. and when they screwed me over, i didn't know how to communicate it so i would blow up or handle things in a matter that would automatically make me the bad guy. i would not know how to stand up for myself at all. i would freak out and get nervous. sometimes, i didnt even realise things till months later. i know that's hard to believe lol but its the truth.

i had friends do very grimy things to me, and when they came back around i would forgive them, but i didn't realize back then that i am not the type of person to forgive and forget. i wouldn't address the issue either. so my actions and behavior were totally fucked up.

at some point, after having the same experiences over and over, i held myself accountable. i forgave myself for not knowing what i didnt know. cause really thats all you can do. ive lived long enough where ive seen every single person whos been in my life, great and horrible come back. no matter the situation. life is funny that way. the universe will always continue to expose you to the same situations over and over until you learn your lesson.

a big healer for me, was doing regressive therapy and understanding my triggers and how i got myself to be the person who put myself in certain situations. that was life changing for me. and this is something that is very hard for people to understand and admit to themselves. bad things happen, people do bad things to us and they're the bad guys. yes. absolutely. but why did we put ourselves in that situation? our patterns of behavior stem from layers of experiences and reactions that are mostly learned from in our childhood. did i deserve to go through x things that made me become a certain way and respond to situations and people a certain way? absolutely not. but unless we go down to the root of our behavior, then we cant evolve from being the person who does those things.

ive been through hell and back. literal hell. and i haven't always been the best person to every one based on it. but it was always my responsibility to hold myself accountable, acknowledge my actions, and forgive myself. that's how you grow.

[nyanhart]

hello, im gonna add my 50 cents that no one asked for, because apparently on tumblr, we say shit about stuff that has nothing to do with us without the slightest bit of tact behind it for reference, im friends w flaaffy, but im going to stay away from my bias as much as i can look, i’m not saying flaaffy hasnt done ‘wrong’/questionable stuff before, but to condemn for her the actions that eddie also commits to...... let me put this into perspective. as a reference, im 25 years old, clearly an adult. my partner is 3 months older than me. most people i talk to are anywhere from 19-20 to as old as 30. i dont go out of my way to talk to kids (by definition for clarity’s sake, 17 and under). sure, ive modded a server of 50/50 between adults and minors before. i am in servers where minors are. it’s not that me as an adult can’t coexist with them; as an adult, i can’t call myself ‘friends’ with someone that much younger than me. perhaps on a coworker-to-coworker basis would be a bit different. other than that, i don’t talk to minors usually there are a few occasions where one pops into my dms every now and again, but that’s all it is; casual banter. i don’t have an established relationship of any kind with them. to put another point of reference, eddie (eddiemakesart) claims that their body is over 18. eddie, as an alter, ranges from 20-30. (its literally in their pinned)

look, i’m not the pinnacle of morality, but i know a power imbalance when i see one. you can’t jump on flaaffy like a pack of wild dogs on them interacting with minors but then not the issue with eddie a) constantly interacting with minors, b) minors making callouts about flaaffy on eddie’s behalf and c) the fact that eddie can barely behave himself in discord servers that may or may not contain minors. yes, he got kicked out of ask-edd because he broke the rules multiple times. i also booted him out of my server because of the aforementioned issues in ask-edd, as well as several testimonies about eddie (or so he claims ‘mike’) mistreating my friends in the past. but going away from all that, eddie could very well be older than me or flaaffy. any sort of impression of flaaffy’s behaviors were taken out of context. and even then, we’re capable of fucking up. not everyone can interact appropriately without a few hiccups, especially with a mental illness on the table. i’m really not a fan of eddie getting a bunch of kids rallying around him and witch-hunting someone on tumblr over personal beef. ive been off and on this site since 2011, and this is some juvenile shit. let me also clarify that i am not accusing eddie of doing anything weird/law-breaking with this point. i don’t have the grounds to do so, and i wouldn’t do that anyways. as someone who’s friends with flaaffy, she’s not perfect. she has her quirks and issues. but you wanna know something wacky? there was an issue with people oversharing in my server’s vent channel. while i didn’t direct it at anyone in particular, i made an announcement to cut it out, and go figure, people actually listened! flaaffy appreciated the heads up, and she’s even actually improved how she presents herself and is seeking healthier outlets. it’s almost as if just talking to people like a normal fucking human being solves issues! goddamn my crosshairs are set on eddie. i’m not blaming any minors or kids or w/e tied up in this. eddie’s an asshole and a shitty manipulator, and the fact that he can just sit up on his high horse and laugh at someone being unnecessarily hate-mobbed is fucked up. you’re so caught up in your own personal beef with another person that you would do literally anything to watch them burn. and getting kids to do your bidding for you? bro, that says a lot about you, mister 20-30 years old

[thevaneltia]

im going to do these all at once cuz fuck waiting a month to answer all the questions.

also i havent finished the game, so ill probably rb this as i get further in. for reference, ive just gotten the lightship and directions to go to the four remaining rogress.

1. adele, strangely enough. in this point of the game, shes gone full blown yandere. and theres several points that have indicated that she is NOT doing well inside. particularly in a skit in the gula temple, alf talked about how shes been bottling up so much stuff and eventually it just exploded. and he lamented that he knew but didnt do anything about it. shes gone through so much shit and shes come out the other side an absolutely deplorable person. but i fucking love her as a character.

2. this might be a little obvious from my answer to #1, but alf, easily. theres just something special about younger brother prince trauma idk. that scene after the party gets arrested in diamant hit my fucking soul. weiss gloating over how he should just have the party executed while alf, separated from the group and surrounded by the guards that are supposed to protect him too BEGS his brother to let the others go. that scene just. AUGH also the way he blames himself for literally everything. even things he literally had zero way of causing. i am CERTAIN that him trying to fulfill his role as a child of eesa has a lot to do with his self imposed guilt. but its not even self imposed!! nobody just starts blaming themselves for everything for no reason. and we ALREADY know that weiss is an absolute dick bucket. he is for sure the cause of alfs current mental state. anyway i love me a good old fashioned pathetic man. i dont really like how hes been getting more and more incel coded as the games gone on tho. if that keeps up im stealing him and making him my oc and fixing his writing. whats imageepoch gonna do? they went bankrupt in 2015. eat my ass.

3. alf. next question.

4. l’arc. idk what the writers were doing but his ass is NOT a compelling character. hes an absolute dick to everyone. alf was keeping him in line for the first like 20 hours but now alf’s fucked off so we have to suffer through l’arcs existance unfiltered and hes fucking insufferable. the only good thing ive seen from him is that hes honest about how hes only doing the things hes doing for the money. but even then like COME ON. his employer is out here bombing cities and his ass is over there berating alf for being a “traitor” like dawg. be so fucking for real. the person alf is betraying is a fucking terrorist in charge of one of the most fucked up police states ive seen in a piece of media. also l’arc cant figure out whose fucking side hes on. which WOULD be compelling character wise if he wasnt trying to be wholly loyal to both weiss AND rifya and the whole imaginal thing WHILE ALSO constantly saying he doesnt give a shit. like i swear to god the word ive heard him sy most frequently is “whatever”. this is a bit of a hot take but i think the game shouldve been told from alfs perspecive. because alf is a compelling character and l’arc is a fucking bitch.

5. that one kopin in the race betting game at the casino whose tagline is “PASS ME AND I EAT YOU.” woody is his name. i fucking love woody. it also helps that hes one of the most profitable kopin to bet on.

6. oh god thats a hard one. ive mentioned the scene where the party is arrested in diamant. thats deffo up there. another REALLY banger scene is the scene at the top of the tower in antrax where the party splits up. also special shout out to that skit where alf reminisces with adele about hiking up a hill and eating sandwiches. bro dropped the fuckin “that might be my favorite memory of my whole life” line. and then had the audacity to say “nvm” when adele asked him to repeat himself. motherfucker how sad is your life that thats the happiest memory you can think of. i love you. im giving you forehead kisses you precious boy. OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT the scene in the church where we find out about the human experiments turing ppl into felldragons and then a few scenes later (or before? i dont remember) we find out serge is leon. fucking hell yeah bro.

7. i just downloaded the whole soundtrack the other day and literally every song is a banger. i havent listened to all of them for fear of spoilers, but the two themes for antrax took my heart out into the back alleys and shot it 20 times. i hope we get to rebuild antrax but im not gonna keep my hopes up. also the moon inn theme has a special place in my heart. i booted up the game for the first time in years and the first time i got to a moon inn i had to take a second and cry for a bit.

8. oh GOD. ignacy. hes such a fucking greasebag. i hate him so much but also AUGH. good character. terrible fucking person. i want to punch the shit out of his awful fucking face.

9. l’arc/alf. l’arc needs someone to reign his ass in and alf needs to feel like hes helping someone. it wouldnt be a HEALTHY relationship. at least not in the beginning. but i think if anyone could do it, they could.

10. serge & leslie. for being the “flirts” of the group they both give me such huge aroace vibes. i know theyre both in the party at the end of the game, so i know ill get more interactions between them and that makes me SO excited. theyre basically the parents of this goofy ass found family and i love it.

11. i dont know. i havent really interacted with the fandom at all. if two or three people can even be described as a “fandom”. most of the other ships i havent mentioned that exist are either straight up illegal or i just dont think theyd get together at all ever. im not shipping cecille with anyone cuz shes a fucking child. i REALLY dont think rastan is looking for a partner judging based on the line he said in the scripted loss ignacy fight about ignacy “paying for the death of his wife and child”. so i guess he had a wife and a kid and hes FOR SURE grieving that shit real hard. i dont really see ryfia getting with anyone. idk shes just super fucking sheltered and it would take a LOT before shed be in a position where she could actually give informed consent to anything. i cant think of a single reason for niko to get with anyone. especially considering the fact that the whole party is just constantly bullying him for no reason. and i cant think of any side characters that i would ship with anyone. although dynos and alf would go kinda hard if dynos would stop being a dick to alf. idk i guess i just dont have a least favorite ship.

12. rufunga. pretty big boobie lady. yes yes. i didnt get her tho unfortunately. alfs crew steamrolled me and i dont feel like grinding to beat that. especially cuz i know i fight alf and get all his rogress later. pretty water lady ill come get you eventually!!

13. neither? idk if thats even an option. but theyre kinda both lying to their respecive children of eesa. alf mentioned something about imaginal being an eletist prick and theres no way any child of eesa would choose real if the entire fine print was just “world go boom. new world time”. speaking of, people gotta learn informed consent in this fucking game. stop making contracts with gods when you dont know EXACTLY what youre getting into you stupid motherfuckers.

14. well THATS fucking ominous. not many have died yet. just zamuel and selena really. unless you count the untold innocents in antrax and benetnash. i already know niko dies later. thats a dumb fucking decision writing wise. the whole party has been bullying this kid since we fucking met him. and he sacrifices himself for them??? WHY????? in the gula temple he literally opens up to rastan and serge about feeling suicidal and nobody does anything about it. granted hes not SUPER clear with it. but what the fuck else is that supposed to look like. and rastan and serge just immediately blow him off just like everyone else does. fucking give this kid a break bro.

15. ive already listed a bunch of things i wish didnt happen earlier in the list, and therell probably be more listed later.

16. i havent really gotten much in that regard. but so far, both serge and rastan. the more i learn about them, the more i want to hold them in the palm of my hand and squish them. finding out serge was leon was fucking nuts, and rastans ass sitting there going “I FUCKING TOLD YOU PEOPLE SO” was hysterical. also i found out in a skit that rastans favorite flower is a lupine and WOAH those are so pretty.

like LOOK AT THEM THEYRE BEAUTIFUL. anyway. i am holding serge and rastan gently.

17. uhhh pretty much any of them would be cool as shit. NOT WEISS THO. OR IGNACY. THE WORLD DOESNT NEED MORE PSYCHOPATHIC SADISTIC BASTARDS

18. i was looking through the monster index a bit ago and this motherfucker stood out to me. i get that hes wearing little goggles but what is HAPPENING on the lower half of his face??? are those TEETH????? i think theyre teeth

also shout out to this silly little frog variant with a santa hat from around opalus. i love this stupid guy

also fuck his idle animation. motherfucker hops around and its IMPOSSIBLE to get a clean photo of his ass.

19. every single fight that begins with an enpty area and a dramatic angel choir before they jump in and start beating the shit out of you. those are fucking sick and they scare the fuck out of me EVERY time. also weiss. i fucking love the reveal of his wing arm thing. though, if it’s related to the felldragon experiments near ebur, i feel like he shouldve had some of the hozone crystal things in there somewhere. idk i just think those crystals are SO cool. theyre terrifying but also cool.

20. im guessing this is asking “whats your favorite animal outfit the party can wear”. the answer is rastan. motherfucker’s bear costume is so gigantic you cant even see the head. hes like 7 feet tall if you measure to the top of the bears head its RIDICULOUS.

21. im gonna go individual characters. and only the outfits i have so far. for l’arc its “meridian boy”. it makes me think about how he couldve had a normal life. a lot of things wouldve had to change, but its neat to think about. ryfia’s is “the artist”. she looks so cutie patootie in it. and the hat is adorable on her. rastan’s is the bear costume obviously. goofy ass motherfucker. for cecille its gotta be “frilly bikini”. she has a fucking neon green water pistol. have they even invented plastic yet?????? im not gonna question it. niko’s has to be his version of the “pilgrim’s robes”. that outfit is NOT hiding his imperial army uniform. what a silly little guy. serge’s original outfit is peak but his “pilgrim’s robes” compliment his hair so nicely. i dont remember if alf had any outfits. i think he had a swimsuit? seeing him shirtless was a little silly. hes so fucking pale lmao. adele got a cute little school dress and a swimsuit if i recall. the dress was cute. but her diva fit goes SO HARD. its INCREDIBLY impractical. but i love it anyway. and leslie isnt in my party officially yet but i know she will be in the end, and i have outfits for her. i havent seen it on her ingame, but i saw her shrine maiden dress online and its SO cute i love it. shes so mommy. but in a “shes definitely ace but makes sex jokes to fuck with people” way. thats canon btw. the second part at the very least. i dont think any of these characters have canon sexualities. OMG EXCEPT WAIT. SERGE. hes been flirting with everyone regardless of gender. my personal hc is that hes demisexual like me becaus thatd be sick.

22. oh thats easy. alf talking about adele’s mental state. i took photos of it.

i am holding alf so very gently

23. at the moment? the gun named “bugkiller”. its literally just bug spray with a gun trigger.

24. alf minus the incel bullshit. i fucking love my traumatized boy. and i relate a little too hard to the way he blames himself for other peoples actions

25. first step: cry for a bit about the state of the world. second step: realize its pretty much the same as the real world. third step: make a BEELINE for the new moon inn and live there forever.

26. i want l’arc to shut the fuck up for two seconds. or for a gay kiss. either between alf and l’arc or if rastan had a coming to gay jesus moment and kissed serge. thatd be awesome.

27. uhhhh idk i dont really associate any songs with the game other than the soundtrack for it. i booted it up for the first time in years and started a new file cuz i dont remember SHIT about what happens (i was up to the gula temple) and every single song that has played has made me put down my controller for a second and have a little bit of a cry. the moon inn and topazion/jada in particular hit me hard.

28. my mother bought a copy back when it first came out and she beat it. then one day i was rooting around the games cabinet trying to find something to play, and pulled it out. mom said i could play it (why i would need permission to play a fucking video game that we already own is beyond me but this post isnt about my abusive mother). i remember opening up her save at one point (the one she made VERY CLEAR that i was Not Allowed to Save Over or God Help Me) and she was in the final dungeon. i wandered around in there for a bit but had no idea how later aspects of the combat worked. i also DONT remember what the final dungeon looked like. i think it was purplish and greenish and in the middle of the map where the giant pocket of ocean is. thats all i got idk lol

29. rastan. theres a spot open for a parental figure in my life and i know my dad isnt opposed to kissing boys. i just know rastans a good dad. hes a little suicidal but hey everyone else in my family has dealt with ideation (myself included) so who cares.

30. i havent played the luminous arc stuff before so i cant say much about the series. but THIS game is so fucking good. the only bad thing is the english voice acting, but its so bad that its wrapped back around to being funny. but literally everything else is fucking great. the artstyle, the characters, the fucking story, the game mechanics. GOD. yummy game.

Welcome to the 30 Day Arc Rise Fantasia Challenge!

Favorite Female Character

Favorite Male Character

Favorite Character Overall

Least Favorite Character

Favorite Minor Character

Favorite Scene (party chats count as well)

Favorite Song

Favorite Villain

Favorite Romantic Ship

Favorite Platonic Ship

Least Favorite Ship

Favorite Rogress

Imaginal or Real?

A character you wish wasn’t dead

Something you wish didn’t happen

Favorite character backstory

A character you wish was real

Favorite monster

Favorite boss (side ones included)

Fursuits

Favorite alternative outfit (for one or any character or all)

Favorite quote

Favorite weapon

A character you find most relatable

What would you do if you suddenly found yourself in the world of ARF?

Something you wished happened but never did

A song that reminds you of the series

How did you find out about ARF?

What character would you want to be your best friend?

Why do you like/love this series?

[littlx-songbxrd]

Ok I meant to answer you're question about what I thought of the show ages ago but I forgot.

I LOVED IT OMGGGG! I got so many kitty vibes from Wilhelm and Simon! The touching! The softness! It's those vibes exactly! I want that energy in TWP.

COMRADE SIMON!! We stan! That speech he made at the very beginning about the differences in attitudes towards "tax evasion" vs. "Welfare fraud." Legend behavior.

Sara!!!! My girl!!!!!! An autistic/adhd character PLAYED BY AN AUTISTIC ACTRESS!!!! THIS IS SO HUGE!!! I would die for my problematic queen. I made an entire post on her but the gist is, I get where she's coming from and understand why she feels the way she feels but dear God girl make better choices and stay the hell away from August.

Speaking of.... I wanna run August over several times. Vroom vroom motherfucker. The fact that he

- filmed MINORS HAVING SEX AND TGE POSTED IT ONLINE

-kissed Sara behind Felice's back when they were still dating WITHOUT HER CONSENT BTW

- Wanted to blame Simon for the drugs because he knew it would be easy because Simon's family is lower class and doesnt have the same social standing as one of the "members of the society"

- Also it didn't escape my notice that the cult like faternety type group with all the rich, mainly white boys is called The Society. This shows commentary on class is vv interesting. Especially the little things like two girls just randomly advocating for THE DEATH PENALTY. The rich people audacity.

-Anyways back to August, when he tried to excuse his actions with Wilhelm and get all teary like no bitch you can't manipulate your way out of this one. And again with Sara! When he said "Wilhelm has everything" I wanted to scream! Like he's fucking closeted and clearly suffering from panic attacks and extreme anxiety you moron.

-Anyways!! I also think that Wilhem might be autistic because he just feels autistic. Like the vibes are there.

- The girl group is so sweet? And to have the popular girl be a Black girl who isn't "stereotypically attractive" with a more medium sized body and bad acne. As someone who has really bad skin I needed that. Felice is kinda awesome imo.

Let me see what else??

-Simon and his mom speaking Spanish consistently throughout the show. It sounded pretty natural to me? But I'm not a native speaker. (Or even fluent honestly lol.)

- Simon and Wilhelm are honestly so adorable and in love and it made my heart ache. (I am so touch starved I swear..)

-My only main beef is the outing plotline and the show using an outdated medical term for Sara, aspergers. It's literally just autism. Also it's kind of offensive because Hans Asperger was a n*zi who literally killed autistic children because they weren't useful to capitalism. SOOOO yeah.

As for the outing plotline, I feel like the cishets have like three plotlines that they use for queer stories. Outing/coming out, one of them dies, or one if them bullies the other until they both fall in love. It's tired.

But overall I really loved it.

HI SORRY I HADNT REPLIED

I wanted to correctly talk to you about this series so I logged in through my computer to make it easier for me :D

LOOK AT THIS POINT IVE RELATED THEM TO LITERALLY EVERY COMFORT SHIP I HAVE LIKE. I've compared this to kitty, I've compared this to Thomastair, I've compared this to my friends to ocs who she has obsessed me with (youd actually like them if you liked this tbh) IVE COMPARED ME TO MY OCS

BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY I JUST LOVE THEM

IF KITTY DOESNT HAVE THIS ENERGY IN TWP WHAT WAS THE POINT

what was the point cc??

S I M O N

OH GOD WHEN HE SAID THAT I WENT OMG YEAH

new favorite character

Great

SHES PLAYED BY AN AUTISTIC ACTRESS?? Sorry I hadn't known! Haven't actually gotten to obsessively look at the cast I've been trying to get over the last episode BUT THATS SO COOL. SARA IS AMAZING AND I ADORE HER. I'll read your post after this! But of course STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM AUGUST GIRL PLEASE

Tbh I understood where she was coming from with everything with Simons image falling apart and her having to suffer when she had just started having friends , just after finding he had been lying to her. But love, AUGUST?

A U G U S T ???

WHO JUST FOUND OUT OUTED YOUR BROTHER

Also random and stealing this from @marzzinaa i totally hc Sara as a demi girl for some reason

Im kinda sad we didnt see her speak spanish as much we did simon :(

But oh well I LOVE HER AND YEAH STAY AWAY FROM AUGUST GOD

FAE WE RUN HIM OVER TOGETHER BROOM BROOM

You already said it all, I just agree

Ok I'll bring a machete you bring whatever you wish and we kill him sound good?

ALSO YEAH I TOTALLY NOTICED HOW THE ECONOMIC DINAMICS CAME INTO PLAY AND HOW IT BASICALLY LET YOU KNOW HOW THE PRIVILEGED ELITES COULD GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING

meanwhile they wanted to pass off to Simon who came from a lower class family the blame

Also I'd like to mention how that would also play into the stereotype latinos are all drug dealers

Which I love how they didnt make his dead beat alcoholic man the latino parent, when I first read the description I thought they might do that, but im so glad they didnt

I think it might have been a comentary idk i liked that they DIDNT make the poc parent the dead beat

THE FRIEND GROUP WAS SO COOL AND I LOVED ALL OF THEM AND YES FELICE WAS JUST <3

I love how they didnt make her stereotypically perfect AND YES MID SIZED REP WAS AMAZING TO SEE

Also im so glad you got to see that represented!!

So I am a native speaker and him talking to his mom MADE ME CRY

it was WONDERFUL I WANT MORE OF IT

pls most her phrases reminded me to my own mom

Autistic wilhelm you say?? omg tell me more (if you want)

Oh thats awful, well I'll just refer to Sara as autistic and hope the showrunners fix that next season because if they dont-

Yikes

Oh yeah, thats valid critisism. But in my opinion they actually wrote it pretty well so I wont really be complaining about an overall media problem with queer stories rn. If so I'll be here all day. But yeah its an overall problem but it wasnt done bad in my opinion so!

I'll shut up, for now

IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT FEEL FREE TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT WITH ME PLS ITS MY OBSESSION NOW IM GONNA BE ANNOYING ABOUT IT ALL MONTH