#its been a long time since i've sat down and watched something that changed my life so fast

[everythingisromant1c]

It's Always Been You - Chapter 12

james potter x fem!reader

summary - Things hadn't gotten much better with James, and you knew you could only go so long without talking to him—after all, he was still your best friend. But, considering all that'd happened, along with some encouragement from your friends, you knew the time had come to finally admit you wanted more than that.

wc [6.2k]

a/n: alr guys ... very happy and also sad to say this is the last chapter of it's always been you!! :( i've loved every minute of writing this series as well as sharing it (its become my baby atp), and it is definitely because of all the love and support everyone reading has given it. thank u to everyone stuck around to this point, & i hope u guys enjoy this last chapter!! i send all my hugs and kisses <3 - e

all chapters | <- Chapter 11

It'd been another hour or two until everyone had fully returned from Hogsmeade and dinner was being served in the Great Hall. You finally changed out of your dress and into your everyday clothing again, already feeling better, but that didn't mean you felt good. You didn't think you could feel good when both your brain and heart were hurting like they were. And worst of all, the one person you'd go to in times like these for comfort was the same person you couldn't go to. Not now.

The girls had been doing their best to get your mind off of everything that had happened that day, aside from when Marlene profusely apologized to you for letting Potter hear her outburst in the common room.

"Although, I have to say," she admitted afterward. "I'm not completely sorry for him that he had to hear it. I may be brutal but I never tell a lie."

That fact didn't leave you as you sat with her and Lily in the Great Hall for dinner, a number of seats away from the other Marauders. You recognized with a skip in your heartbeat that James was with them, surprisingly enough since you knew how he was accustomed to skipping meals in the dining hall when he wanted to be alone, a habit you both unfortunately shared. But that didn't mean he was enjoying himself either.

You could see even from your seat down the table that he wasn't saying much, mostly keeping to himself quietly, something so out of character for him yet you'd seen him do it constantly the entire week. You wanted to yell at him and shake him silly, but you also wanted to hug him. When you caught yourself in the midst of those thoughts you turned back to your own spot at the table shamefully.

You tried to force yourself to eat, catching your friends' concerned looks at your full plate, but you didn't feel much like it. Especially not when you still felt maybe a dozen pairs of eyes on you from every corner of the Great Hall.

Even with all that'd happened since just that morning, the rumors and whatever else people had come up with to talk about had not yet been forgotten about by the school like your friends said it would be. Then you thought about whether news had spread of your disastrous date in Hogsmeade, and prayed that nobody had caught wind of that incident either. You didn't think you could handle any more of the staring.

Immediately after you had that thought, you spotted a fifth-year in Ravenclaw robes walking past your table, watching as he blatantly pointed at you as he spoke to his friend, and you looked down at your plate with hardened eyes.

You heard Marlene scoff from next to you. "Hey!" she called to the boy. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it was rude to point?"

The fifth-year didn't respond to her but looked to his friend, hurriedly taking a seat at his own table, his whispers being drowned out in the loudness of the dining hall.

Marlene fumed from next to you. "I can't believe these people. Are they really that bored with their own lives that they're so obsessed with a bloody rumor?"

You shook your head toying with your fork. "Just ignore them. That's what I've settled on doing."

She sighed from beside you and you thought that'd be the end of everything, until you heard gasps from down the table. You looked up and followed the sounds and were met with a sight not even the magic of Hogwarts could've prepared you for.

James—your James—had stood up on the bench he'd once been sitting in, and you thanked Merlin he wasn't standing fully on the table; though you had absolutely no idea what he could possibly be up to, you knew it couldn't be anything good. He cupped a hand to his mouth as your heartrate picked up.

"Can I have everyone's attention?"

He didn't have to ask twice for it. His voice boomed out loudly, something that seemed to come naturally to him, and the noise in the Great Hall had died out in a mere second until it was almost completely silent—quiet enough for you to hear the beating of your heart in your chest as you looked up at him. Your throat went dry.

"Not that it's any of anyone's business," he started confidently to the hundreds of eyes now looking at him, tone nothing but sober. "But nothing happened in the broom closet. Or in the locker room."

You felt the churning in your stomach claw up into your throat, then felt it drop back down, keeping you stationed in your seat. He didn't give much context to his declaration, but with the popularity of the topic amongst the school, it didn't seem like he needed to. His voice almost seemed to echo, all other noises drowning out as everyone stared up at him. James looked around the entire room appearing completely unafraid and you didn't know how the hell he did it; you probably looked more fearful than him.

"So," he began again, "I don't want to see or hear anyone talking about those rumors any longer. And if anyone has a problem with that, they can answer to me. Alright?"

Of course, nobody said anything then, but you could see in their eyes that they were going to listen to him. Or at least, they'd make sure they didn't get caught going against him. Maybe it was from his impenetrably confident voice or his respected status around the school, you weren't sure, but he had that unique effect on people in an almost effortless way.

When it was clear he'd gotten his point across, he scanned his eyes over the sea of students until they found yours. In a dizzying way, it felt like you were the only two in the room for a moment, as cliché as the thought sounded in your head.

You didn't know what had motivated him to do what he did, but you could see in his eyes something fragile that juxtaposed the self-assured look they'd had only seconds ago. He looked away again and stepped back down to floor level once more, not taking a moment before striding out of the Great Hall, his form disappearing seconds after.

Even without his physical presence, his action seemed to linger over the room for a moment more before chatter broke out once again. You were still frozen in place, not knowing if moving would finalize the idea that whatever just happened was real and not just part of some wild dream.

Marlene had confirmed that it definitely had happened, however, when she turned to you with her jaw dropped, an amazed but delighted sparkle in her eye. "Someone tell me you saw that too."

"Oh we saw it," rang Lily, who also looked much too happy about that fact, probably just relieved James's antics weren't centered on her for once. You could see them both staring at you expectantly, waiting for you to react. You could also see the boys in your peripheral, the three of them remaining at the table searching your face for a reaction.

Yet, all you could do was stand up and walk hurriedly towards the exit. Dozens of conversations rushed past your ears as you did, a blur of remarks ranging from "Potter's lost it" to "He's so bloody fit." Whatever they were saying, you noted with gratefulness in the back of your mind that none of the conversations were about you.

You reached the doorway and stopped once you were a safe distance away in the hallway, heaving breaths in for a moment to yourself before finding that you weren't alone. All of your friends had followed you without blinking an eye, and you didn't know whether you found it endearing or inconvenient. Though, to be fair, you didn't know where you were going. You just knew you couldn't sit there and pretend as if nothing had happened.

You blinked at the three boys who neared you with puzzled looks on each of their faces. "Did you guys know anything about this?"

"No," promised Sirius. "In fact, James has hardly said anything to us since this morning."

You shook your head to yourself, feeling breathless. "I can't ... believe he would do that."

"Really?" Lily stared at you. "I mean, it's Potter we're talking about. It's exactly something he would do."

You couldn't fight the smile that tugged on the corners of your lips even as you shook your head. You ran a hand over your hair as the blonde from next to you hit you in the shoulder.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" You frowned over at her as she stared at you expectantly. "Go to him."

You stilled, gaping at her. "What?"

"Go to him. Do I have to spell it out for you?"

You tipped your head at her like it would help you understand her better, parting your drying lips. "I thought you said he was a selfish git." You heard Remus snort from beside you.

"I did, sure," reasoned Marlene, not without a hint of pride. "But only because I thought he was ruining your chances of moving on now that you were over him. But seriously, I can see your face when you look at him." She shook her head. "That's not the look of someone who wants to move on."

Your eyes flickered over her face as she spoke, an infinite number of thoughts overtaking you. In the silence of your thinking, a Hufflepuff boy walked past the six of you in the hallway, staring all the while.

"What are you looking at?" snapped Marlene, turning to him without missing a beat. "Did you not just hear Potter?"

Like he'd heard him loud and clear, and also like he was scared of Marlene, he hurried away with his head bent forward. Satisfied, the blonde turned back to you. At your conflicted expression, she asked, "Well?"

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. "It's just that," you began, not even knowing where you were going with your rambling. "I've spent so long trying to get over him. It's not fair to myself to just forget all of that, and it definitely wasn't fair to Sebastian-"

"For Merlin's sake," cut in Lily, to your surprise. "You keep talking about what's fair and what's unfair, but what about you? What do you want?"

You stared at her, beginning to feel breathless under the eyes of all your friends. "It's not just about what I want. It's not that simple."

"But what if it is?" she questioned. "I know how difficult this has all been for you. And I know you said Potter doesn't just get to realize his feelings for you and suddenly be with you, that it doesn't work like that. But what if it does?" She raised her hands at her sides. "Not everything is a perfect story to tell. Especially not when it comes to you two. It's not every day you fall in love with your best friend and he finally sees that he's fallen for you too. Are you seriously going to let him go because of some made-up system of rules?"

Your breath was becoming staggering now, and you didn't know what to think, because everything they were telling you sounded so right.

"I don't know," you began unsurely. "Of course, I don't want to lose him. Not talking to him for the past week has been harder than I ever could've imagined. I don't even know what it would feel like to have to do it for longer than I already have been." You blinked down at your shoes, truly realizing those things at the same rate you said them. "I think I just ... miss him."

"Of course you miss him." Marlene looked at you sympathetically. "That's why I think you should go tell all this to him."

You felt bile rising in your throat. "I don't even know if he'd want to see me after all we've said to each other."

"Are you joking?" Remus butted in exasperatedly. "Prongs is bloody in love with you. Can't you see that?"

"Remus," you warned softly because you didn't know how much more of this hope you could take before you did something you'd regret.

"I'm telling the truth." His voice was heavy with meaning. "Maybe it took him a while to realize it himself, but the rest of us have had to sit back and watch you both act like you don't have feelings for each other for years. Believe me, the only reason he's in his room right now and not with you is because he thinks that's what you want."

Your brows pinched. "You can't truly know that."

"Really?" he laughed. "What do you think we talked about that night Vance asked you out?"

Your expression faltered and you forced yourself to think back to the night James had begun acting distant from you, though it wasn't difficult to, the storyline of it all clicking into place in your head.

"You," breathed Remus. "We talked about you."

"Not to mention," Sirius added, "we're the ones who've had to spend every night in our dorm listening to him bitch and moan about Vance this and Vance that." You swallowed at your friends' words, but they didn't quit.

"And we know James was being a right idiot today," Sirius insisted honestly. "But you should've seen him this morning right after you two argued. He was heartbroken. More than he'd ever been over Evans." He turned to the redhead in question. "No offense, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes lightheartedly. "Trust me, Black, none taken."

He nodded and turned back to you swiftly. "So for you to think that James would want anything other than to fix things with you and just be with you is bloody mental."

You stared at all of your friends who were looking so determinedly back at you that you didn't think you could tell them 'no' now. But still, your feet didn't budge.

"It's not just that," you almost whispered. "I guess I'm just ... scared. What if it goes wrong and we get into some ridiculous fight again? What then?"

Marlene took a hold of your shoulders, slightly scaring you in her resoluteness. "Potter just stood up and yelled at the entire bloody school and you're trying to tell us you'rescared?" She shook you a little, and your friends smirked from behind her. "Be a Gryffindor for Godric's sake! Go to him!"

Before you could say anything more, she was turning you around and shoving you a little until you had the momentum you needed to take steps toward the Gryffindor common room. You made it all the way up the nearest set of steps before you paused, turning back to your friends with a grateful smile.

"Thank you, you guys." You expected them to share the sweet moment with you, but they only rolled their eyes.

"Go, woman!" Sirius groaned, and you rolled your eyes back at them, but it lacked any real annoyance.

You didn't know exactly what you were planning on doing, but you didn't have time to think about it because your legs were carrying you speedily through the halls in your anxious state and wouldn't let you stop until you reached the portrait entrance to the Gryffindor common room. Taking a steadying breath in, you said the password and entered the room.

With everyone else still being at dinner in the Great Hall, it wasn't exactly difficult to find James. He sat in the common room, his brunette head of curls visible to you in the low light. They covered the majority of his face that you could see, his head tipped downwards with his elbows resting on his knees. That changed within the blink of an eye as you entered the room, his head swiftly lifting until he locked eyes with you, and you had to fight a shiver at the feeling it sent shuddering through you.

He seemed to think you were just going to go to your own dorm and ignore him, and he averted his eyes to look somewhere else, maybe the fireplace, until you left—but you didn't. You only walked closer to him until you were separated by only one of the couches, the distance still small enough to make your breathing quicken.

At the soundlessness of your stilled footsteps, James looked back up and met your eyes again, and he swallowed. Clearly, he hadn't expected you to make any move to talk to him that night, even after the scene he'd made in the Great Hall. The problem was that you hadn't expected yourself to either, and now you didn't know what you wanted to say first, because there were certainly a million things you had to make sure he knew.

"Thank you," you said, because you figured it was a good place to start. He nodded up at you, his eyes not revealing much of anything, but you didn't let that sway you. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

"Of course I did." His voice was stubborn, but too sincere for how little his expression gave away.

You looked down at your feet, letting a moment pass before speaking again. "Well, now it seems like everyone is going to be talking about you from now on."

"That doesn't matter to me." James's voice cut through the air richly, and when you looked back up from the floor he was staring at you meaningfully. "They can say whatever the hell they want. As long as they're not talking about you."

Your shoulders dropped at his words, and the way he held your eyes as he said them made your heart beat faster in your chest. It hadn't even been a full day since you'd last spoken to him, but you already missed him.

"They wouldn't leave you alone," he said concretely, his tone beginning to fill with emotion. "And then, I heard what Marlene said in the common room, about some girl harassing you in the library? I-" he shook his head frustratedly, rubbing at his forehead with one of his hands. "I'm just mad at myself that I've let it go on for this long. Or that I didn't even know that happened."

You already felt too emotional for your liking, the feelings inside of you swirling more aggressively at every word he said to you. "It's not like it's your fault, James."

"Well it's not like I did much to stop it, did I?" He seemed genuinely angry at himself now, and you didn't know what you could do to help. A painful lump was rising in your throat, but you stayed rooted in your spot behind the sofa. "And I'd ask you why you didn't come and tell me, but that'd be a bloody stupid question."

He shook his head, eyes becoming wistful like he was recalling a memory, one that pained him. "Earlier, when Marlene was defending you in the common room, the look on your face was ... I don't know. Crushed. Sad."

You swallowed at the memory, because that had been exactly how you were feeling, amongst thousands of other ways. James looked down at his lap.

"I just wanted to try and help, do anything to make that look on your face go away, but I couldn't. So I just kept replaying how you looked in my head, and the more I thought about it, the more I hated myself because I realized you were only hurting because of me. And that was the worst part. Realizing that it was all my fault."

You felt yourself wanting to take a step towards him, wanting to just reach out to him as the tips of your fingers teemed with the longing you felt in your chest. "James," you began, your voice hushed. "It's not all your fault."

You meant it. To try and say to yourself that you had no part in all the confusion between the two of you would be a blatant lie, one that you couldn't let James go on believing, especially not with the pained look on his face.

He only shook his head at you. "It is," he insisted. "And here you go, being perfect towards me when I don't deserve it." A muscle worked overtime in his jaw. "Marlene was right. I was being selfish, and petty, and a lot of other things, but most importantly, I wasn't being a good friend." He paused, a grieving confliction tugging at his brow. "That's ... that's not what friends do."

You went still then too, the word 'friend' hanging in the air between you with a weight that only made you tired. The truth was that cobwebs had grown in the house where you'd fostered that unforgiving title, and it felt like some intangible force had locked you both inside with it blindly.

"Yeah, well," you began, your voice small, "we've been doing plenty of things that friends don't do, lately.Like you said, we kissed, right?" You let out a breathy sound like a laugh that lacked any joy, and the way James's eyes flickered up at you knocked the rest of the air right out of you.

"About that," he began hesitantly, and you could tell he was thinking about both the night it'd happened and that morning when you'd fought, just like you were. "I know you don't want that to mean anything, so it- ... it doesn't have to. Even if I want it to. Because it doesn't matter what I want—what matters to me is you."

You were thankful you had the couch next to you to brace a hand on, because you'd never felt so swept up by a conversation and you weren't sure how much longer you could stand the way your heart was nagging at you.

"You were right," swore James, but the slight shake of his eyes back and forth on your face didn't look as adamant as he sounded. "It's not fair for me to expect something from you when you already got over me."

The words you'd shouted at him in Hogsmeade that morning sounded foreign and wrong coming from his lips, and you knew the months of dishonesty that laced them like you knew the back of your hand.

"And it's too late now, I get that." His voice went from deep and determined to on the cusp of breaking, and it killed you. "I just want to know that you're happy, and if being happy means being with Vance instead of me, then ... I can deal with that."

You watched as he swallowed, like he was forcing the words to come from his lips even if it pained him. The way he hadn't broken eye contact with you the whole while was starting to make your head spin.

Your blinking sped up, maybe holding back the emotion you knew you was fighting to come out, and you whispered, "James."

Maybe you hadn't been loud enough, or maybe he just knew you'd try to disagree with him again, but he only continued determinedly at you.

"I know I probably went and ruined your chances with Vance, like an idiot, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you another date with him." He nodded at you once firmly, and within a second he was standing up, taking an intentional step forward. "Hell, I'll even go talk to him right now and-"

"James," you called again, louder this time. "Stop."

You put a hand out and it landed on his arm softly but firmly, and all you could was pray you could find the right words to say to him as he stared at you, level with you now in an unsteadying way.

"You didn't ruin my chances with Sebastian. It wouldn't have worked out regardless, even if I'd wanted it to. Because being with him isn't what I want." You shook your head, recalling back what James had said to you only moments before. "He wouldn't have made me happy." You sounded desperate now. "He's not you."

James stilled, his glistening eyes the only thing showing movement as they danced across your face intensely, though you saw them widen with something bright like hope. "What?"

The confusion of the word that he'd practically whispered out unspeakably attested to how you felt yourself, the terrain of the land you were exploring right there and then with James uncharted and rocky. You pushed on, knowing there was no going back now.

"Marlene wasn't completely right, James. She only said all of those things because I'd spent all this time trying to convince her—and myself—that I didn't still have feelings for you. But I do, clearly." You tipped your head down for a moment in exasperation and exhaustion, willing yourself to keep going. "Everyone can see it. All of our friends. Hell, even Sebastian could see it." You laughed, though your eyes were growing blurry. "So for me to try to push those feelings down any longer would just be lying to you and to myself." You let out an exasperated breath. "And I'm so sick of lying."

Your shoulders sunk as you stood there, a steadily shrinking distance between you and James that was both comforting and daunting to you. You couldn't do anything but watch as James's face stilled and then shifted as he thought, studying your own face in a way that made you conscious of every shift in your expression.

"I just," he began, and then raked a hand through his hair. "Why did you feel like you needed to hide how you felt in the first place?"

You felt your mouth go dry at the question—one you knew came only out of a desperate curiosity and nothing else—and your mind began spinning. The last few years of your friendship seemed to swirl in your head, flickering in and out of focus as you tried to come up with an answer.

"I-" you began, willing yourself to say something, anything at all. "I was scared." The words rang true so much that they made your heart pinch. "Scared that you wouldn't feel the same and I'd go and ruin everything. That I'd lose you."

James's hands lifted up from his sides like he wanted to reach out to you, and he did. He took your hand in his, grasping lightly at your fingertips in a touch that steadied you and made you feel lightheaded at the same time. He shook his head at you with a firm hold in his brow.

"You could never lose me."

His lips were parted, and his hazel eyes glistened over in the low common room lighting like the thought of your suggestion was painful enough on its own. Looking at him then, his face lined with years of a comforting, steadying familiarity, you knew deep in your chest that what he said was true. But that didn't alter all that you'd felt for the past number of years.

"It's not just that," you said, looking down at his hand that held yours and blinking away the guilt that crept into your stomach, because it wasn't James's fault that you had felt this way. "Even in Hogsmeade, James." Your voice was becoming unsteady again and it only frustrated you more. "What if everything you said you felt for me was just some spur-of-the-moment thing from some kiss? What if you didn't feel the same way a week from now? Or a month? I knew I wouldn't be able to get over that fear. Especially when I'd been hiding how I felt from you for years. And then there were your feelings for Lily to think about and ... I don't know."

You trailed off, finally able to stop yourself. You felt petty, so petty, because you were so close to getting what you knew your heart wanted, but you felt the insistent need to ruin things for yourself and think of every way things could go wrong. You'd never felt closer to James then, but also never farther away. All you could do was stand there and wait for him to say something, anything.

James stayed unmoving for a beat staring at you, wordlessly taking everything in with a fragility in the air that hallowed your labored breathing. Then he started to shake his head like he was in disbelief. He ran a hand through his brown hair.

"For Merlin's sake."

His voice was low, a mutter, and he stared at the ground for a moment in thought before dropping the hand that once held yours, turning and walking away from you, leaving up the steps to his dorm room. You watched his back as he disappeared, your fingertips feeling cold and empty.

You felt your blinking speed up in a dizzying confusion. You didn't know what had come over you, not even sure exactly what you'd said in all of your desperate rambling that had made him decide to leave, but your vision started to blur even more than it already had until you recognized the wetness forming beside your eyes.

Nothing made sense. Not then, and not in the last twenty-four hours. You moved until you were sitting down on the couch in front of you, feeling lightheaded as the fireplace crackled a few feet away. The light from outside had left with the sun and the room had a comforting kind of warm lighting, though even that did little to soothe you as you sat there with all the unresolved feelings within you.

You were confused and lost and wanted nothing more than to just fix things, but you were even more at a loss for words when you heard quick footsteps coming from the staircase James had left from, and then saw his returning form making its way down the steps.

You turned your head to him swiftly in confusion, following him and his soft but energetic steps as he came to sit next to you, and that was when you noticed he was holding something—a box. One that was tattered on the corners, its black fabric aged and dusting over.

You wiped at your eyes quickly, brows tugging in all your bewilderment as you waited for James to explain.

"I-" he began, and stopped as soon as his eyes focused more on your face. You must've looked as broken as you felt, and at seeing the look on your face, he held one of your hands in his before swiping across your cheek gently with the pad of his thumb.

You felt like wilting under his soft touch that you'd missed more than anything in the confusing weeks, mentally and physically exhausted from everything but still wanting more than anything to understand.

When you looked perhaps more stable, he looked back at the box that he'd set down beside him and placed it on his lap delicately as he spoke, his words echoing out slowly.

"I know you think I've just realized my feelings for you a week ago, and that they came from some kiss at a party. But, you have to believe me when I say that they're so much more than that." He placed the box in your hands, and you took it from him with a note of fragility, resting it atop your legs. His eyes bore into yours, like it would break him if you couldn't understand the words leaving his lips. He took a shaky breath in. "I need you to know, more than anything, that you're everything to me. You always have been."

Your lips began to shake at the earth-shattering words coming from your best friend's lips. "James, what-"

He stopped you with a gesture of his head that told you to look inside the box, and you did. Carefully, you lifted the flimsy cardboard top and placed it to the side, brows pulling together tight and something loud and hearty threatening to pull from your chest. You shook your head as tears began to well over your eyes again as you recognized what James had given you.

The box, the measly and old mess of cardboard and paper, was full of all the letters you'd written to him over the years—all the thank you notes, the letters you'd sent him from that summer and all the past ones—every single one of them. Your eyes raked over each of them when you felt too stunned to use your hands, but your heart still felt touched by the memories of each one all the same. It took everything in you not to release the sob you felt rising in your lungs.

"It's you. It's always been you."

James's eyes never left your face as you took everything in, the look behind them never having seemed so determined, so desperate. But there was something behind the way he looked at you, something so warm and honest, so familiar that you felt ridiculous for never noticing it before. And when your gaze flickered downward for a second in contemplation he tipped his head to follow it endearingly.

"Always," he promised. "Not Evans, not anyone else. I know I'm a bloody idiot, and I know I haven't been great at showing my emotions when it comes to you, but that's because it's you, and you mean everything to me and have since we were kids, and if this can't make you see that then I promise I'll spend every day trying to make up for it, and-"

"James." You stopped him, not knowing how much longer you could take sitting next to him and not getting rid of the frustrated crease between his brows, or how much longer you could ignore the thrum of your heart that called out to him so clearly now.

"Yeah?" he asked, and his eyes were like a deer in headlights. The warmth in their color reflected the simmering warmth from the fireplace, but that didn't compare to the fire that lay behind his gaze.

You placed the box, his box of the last six years of your friendship and then some, atop the couch next to you, and didn't wait another second before engulfing him in a hug. Your body crashed into his as he leaned back against the couch, his hands coming up to embrace you right away, and you heard him breathe a smile by your ear before he laughed, a perfect noise.

You felt like laughing then too, and crying, and everything else, because you couldn't remember the last time you'd gotten to hold him like this without the fear of revealing too much to him nagging at you. Your cheek pressed against his neck, his curls fanned against the top of your head, his hands held you tight, and you never wanted to leave the safety of his arms. Except to do one thing.

You pulled away from the hug and so did James after a second, his eyes wide and glistening but truly happy. He was smiling widely, his lopsided grin appearing after days like the sun after a storm, and you loved the sight more than anything, locking it away in the back of your mind as a memory you'd keep forever, like the box that sat next to you.

You laid a hand on his chest, another on his cheek, and James grasped the one that was flattened on his chest in his own, quickly glancing down at your hand in his like he couldn't believe he was holding it. He pulled you into him with it and leaned his head on yours.

"It's always been you, too," you whispered, and his eyes glanced down at your lips as you said the quiet words that'd been lingering on your lips for much too long. You had to push away your smile because you were aching to just kiss him like you'd wanted to for years. With a courage that could've only come from Godric himself, you finally did.

You leaned in until your lips met, a flutter of skin dancing shyly together until you leaned into him even further, and suddenly it felt like the crash of a wave, and sounded like the earth was moving beneath your feet, the sound of something right—and this time, you knew it felt the same for him too, because you could feel his boyish grin that you'd spent years admiring tugging against your lips.

You were kissing your best friend. For real this time. It felt so impossible for your mind to imagine such a thing, but luckily it didn't have to.

James moved his hands but they never left you, one sliding through your hair smoothly and one delicately holding your waist like you were something fragile. Butterflies fluttered through you at his touch, something familiar but foreign, wrong but also right, and somessilyperfect. You couldn't believe you'd spent all those years just a few words away from getting to feel it, getting to be surrounded by it.

You pulled away after a moment, your lips feeling puffy and burning with the heat of his kiss, but all you could think about was how free you felt, how happy you were that he was finally yours.

James looked down at you, his eyes dancing all across your face and stopping on your lips, and then somehow growing even warmer when they met yours again.

"I can't-" he began with a slight disbelieving shake of his head, voice coming out breathless and dazed as heat flushed into your own cheeks at the sight. "I can't believe..."

You laughed, feeling out of breath too, and adjusted the glasses that now perched crookedly on James's nose in an agonizingly cute way.

"Me neither," you finished for him, because you knew just how he felt, a secret the both of you shared; it was the only secret you still wanted to keep.

And it was a feeling you never wanted to have to live without again. Though now, with him in your arms and his familiar chocolate curls still brushing against your forehead, you knew you would never have to.

taglist!!

@hisparentsgallerryy @msmk11 @garfieldsladybird @empath-bunny @urmykindofwoman @bambi-jp @babyclea @kenjikishimotoswifey @cloudroomblog @the-marauders-mapp @mooonyxoxo @imgondeletedis @moon-flowerrs @fruticake @arey0usirius @marauroon @swiftsgirlfriend @jamieolivia27 @magicwithaknife

[genshinwomenontop]

"Even after Centuries later"

☆Prompt: Cloud Retainer and your love story. You're an Adeptus as well.

☆Warnings: Fluff, just fluff.

For as long as you can remember, you've been by Xianyun's side, even when Ganyu was a baby. While she wasn't an expressive person, she did always made sure to show her love to you in ways that only you understood. You're love story with Xianyun was a tale to tell among the people of Liyue. The story of the two Adeptus that loved each other since Liyue was created.

You were the only Adeptus that dwelled among the humans, not only that, you wanted to keep an eye out for Shenhe and Ganyu. When the girls were babies, both of them being babies at separate time, you were the one who always pampered and loved them, and the only Adeptus to understand humans. Though Shenhe was not used to that kind of treatment, she had a different level of respect and love for you.

Since the war, the Adeptus decided to live in the nature, not wanting to dwell the humans but you choose to stay, and live alongside Rex Lapis. Xinayun didn't like that, she couldn't bare the thought of being separated from her beloved partner but she never told you, nor did she express it in anyway, but loving her so long made you understand her even when she wasn't doing anything.

Xianyun was also quite the jealous and overprotective type so when she heard that you've been having lots and lots of attention lately, she had to go down there.

When rumors went around that a beautiful lady came into Liyue, during the Lantern Rite, you had no clue who it was, but Rex Lapis, or Zhongli did, he did not tell you,he waited for that every scene to unfold. You and Ganyu were walking around Liyue, with Shenhe trailing along. The city was peaceful and harmonious, something that the Adeptus fought so hard to achieve and because of you, it was kept that way. They don't call you the 'sustainer of peace' for nothing.

You and Shenhe was accompanying Ganyu to pick up a perfume from Yinger and she had a very strong attraction towards you. "Ah Ms. Y/n, you are looking lovely as the morning sun~" she approached you and held your face.

You smiled and gently removed her hand,"Thank you Ms. Yinger, I'm actually accompanying my dau-I mean friend to pick up something that Lady Ningguang had ordered?"

"Ah yes the perfume. I'm sure that something is going on since she's been ordering so many perfumes lately, but let me get that for you lovelies~"

When she ran off to bag the perfume, Shenhe chuckled, "Well that's five for the morning."

"Master Y/n has been getting alot of attention lately. I wonder what cloud retainer would think if she saw this," Ganyu giggled along with Shenhe, both of them imagining what Xianyun would do.

"Girls,you do have a wild imagination don't you?"

Yinger came back and handed you the perfume. "Well, here you go. It was lovely giving it to you. I do hope you can return the favour," she winked as you walked away.

"That woman..." you sighed.

Ganyu and Shenhe left for the Jade Chamber and you sat down with Zhongli, a sigh escaping your lips. "A rough day friend?"

"Oh dear, don't get me started. Has anything changed about me Zhongli?" He sipped his tea as he hummed.

"You have gotten alot attractive these last few days. I can see why you've been getting this much attention. Don't you like it?"

"I mean... I... I don't know. Its nice and all but every time I smile or say something nice back to someone, I can only see Cloud Retainer. It's like she's watching me from the mountains."

"How long have you seen each other?"

"For almost two years. I've been busy!"

Zhongli's eyes drifted behind you before returning back to you. "Don't you miss her?"

"I do. But I can't go now, she'll sense something is wrong and begin questioning me. You know how inquisitive she can." You sipped your cup of tea.

"One certainly is not inquisitive!" You spat out your tea and let out a scream. Zhongli laughed as you saw a very angry cloud Retainer behind you. She was in her human form.

"C-cl-baby! Hello!"

"Don't baby me. Do you like these attentions that are given to you?" Her arms were folded, and she glared at you.

"I-no! I don't..." As an Adeptus, you weren't afraid of anything. Anything except your wife.

She sighed before relaxing and taking a seat. "Re-Ehem, Zhongli. It's a pleasure to see you again. One was concerned with your well being."

"Xianyun. Its good to see you as well. Y/n here has been missing you quite alot these days."

Xianyun opened one eye and she stared at you. "I doubt she has. With all the attention she's been receiving and accepting, I don't think she misses me one bit."

"My love don't say that."

Zhongli smiled as he watched the two of you bicker back and forth. "Hmmm, just like old times."

The three of you sat down and caught up. Zhongli told Xianyun how the human world is like and to say she wasn't pleased was an understatement but having you by her side will help her to cope. Zhongli bid goodbye to you both as you took Xianyun on a walk and since it was night, Liyue looked even beautiful but nothing could beat the beauty of your wife. "One can feel your intense gaze." She said as she smiled slightly.

You held her hand as the two of you went to Mt. Laixin, using your adeptal powers to get there. "You're beautiful. Keep staying in this form will ya?"

"Ha! So you are implying that my animal form is not beautiful?"

"N-no that's not what I meant! I meant to say that you're beautiful and that this form suits you well. I can even get to kiss you and hold you properly." Xianyun blushed and adjusted her glasses.

"Hmmph! If you insist, I shall remain in this form. I want to settle down in Liyue Harbor for a couple of years. I would like to engage in the human world and their daily activities."

The two of you took a seat on the grass, admiring the big moon. "Well the human life isn't hard once you get to adapt to it. I'll even help you." She nodded as she kept admiring the moon.

"Do you remember our wedding night? That night certainly hasn't left my mind," she chuckled. That night, the two of you showed each other how much you really loved each other. You even used your adeptal powers to give you a male genital to please Xianyun.

"I do. It's one of those nights I'll never forget."

"Since one will be staying here... can we do it again? And this time, let's try for a child." You stared at her with wide eyes.

"H-huh?"

"I know you are not incapable of hearing. I request a child from you."

"Really? I-I... that's-that's great news! I'd be more than happy to have you bear my child!"

You lifted her up and twirled her around as she let out a small squeal. "This is amazing! We can finally have a child! I can't wait! Let's start tonight!"

Before she could protest, you were already on your way home, using your powers you got wings and you held her bridal style as you flew home. Xianyun gently grabbed your face as she admired your features. "I love you y/n," she pressed a kiss to your cheek with a small smile.

"Well I love you even more. Even after centuries, my love for you never faded and it never will."

[thollandneedy]

You can leave your glasses on- Tom Holland

A/n: Dedicated to all of the Tom Holland’s hoes glasses (me

Warnings: Sexual mentions and slight sexual conversation with no smut (sorry

Summary: Y/n discovers she have a glasses kink

Don’t forget to share, like, comment and leave your ideas here

Bellah’s Masterlist 🪻

The light from the television shone on the faces of the couple on the gray sofa bed. 

Thomas had one of his hands on Y/N's back, while the weight of his body poured over her like a fine wine. Y/n was going through a difficult week at work, and Thomas, with a good boyfriend, tried to cheer her up. 

Y/n found herself so tired that her body was only reacting to stimulation, while Holland ran his strong hands over her waist. As soon as one of his hands passed over the button of the girl's jeans, she touched it gently as a warning.

"Tommy, I'm not in the mood today," Y/n said between kisses. 

The actor's brown eyes turned to her with a frustrated look. Given the intense week his girlfriend had had, the least he could do to help her was some form of alternative relaxation (better known as sex). The man put one of his hands under the sofa so that he could get off his girlfriend and sit down next to her. With a long sigh, Y/n sat down next to her boyfriend, touching his shoulder.

"Is everything all right?" She asks, even though she already knows the answer

"It's just that I thought I could help in some way. The dinner, the massage, and well... the sex." The brunette admits, looking down at his feet covered in white socks.

"I know, but I'm so tired. It feels like my body is just a puppet or something. I feel so carried away by my stress that I've been forgetting to be human this week and trying to bear all the burdens that are coming at me." The woman explains, feeling dissatisfied with the attitude she has had to take.

"Of course, love. I understand." Thomas nods, tidying up the bulge in the middle of his pants from his hot kisses with his girlfriend.

Y/n lies back on the cushions in the living room, tucking his legs in and bringing them close to him. The brunette just runs one of his hands through his messy curls, and then turns off the program that was playing on the television so that he can switch to another movie and series platform.

"Shall we watch something?" Holland asks, leaning closer to Y/n with a voice of embarrassment at the incompatibility of the moments.

"Sure! Can we watch a romantic comedy?" Y/n tries to lighten the mood with a sincere smile 

Holland agrees, returning the suggestion with a quick smile. Then, as soon as the remote control found its way into his hands, he reached over to the headboard to pick up a black box. Inside was a pair of glasses with thick, round lenses on black temples. Y/n had never seen her boyfriend wearing glasses before, since no one in her family had a history of myopia or any other vision impairment. The dark-haired man opened the two stems of the glasses, placing them on his face naturally. 

But for Y/n, that changed everything. 

The scene played out in slow motion, and those long fingers sliding under the glasses became more sensual than ever. The girl's eyes opened wider to contemplate the act, but Thomas just continued looking for a movie in the catalog of romantic comedies. All that tiredness in her body vanished in the blink of an eye, and now her attention was focused on her boyfriend's face. 

"Honey, there's this movie here called..." Thomas turned his face to talk to Y/n, and his speech stopped as soon as he realized how he was being stared at. "What's wrong? Is everything all right?" He asks confusedly.

"When did you buy these glasses, Thomas?" The woman asked, feeling her heart pound every time her eyes traveled down to the parts of her boyfriend's body marked by a black shirt.

"I went to the ophthalmologist and she said I'd have to buy them to wear when I watch TV or use the laptop. It's nothing serious, just a slight degree of astigmatism".

Y/n just agrees in silence, still lowering her eyes to Thomas's body, who watches her every move with a little sideways smile.

"Do you like them?" Thomas asked

She wasn't sure if it was the effect of the wine they'd had at dinner; the dark atmosphere with only the living room lights on or how her boyfriend's curls perfectly matched his glasses. What she did know was that she needed him as if she had never been touched before. 

In one swift action, Y/n stands up in readiness, unbuttons his pants and throws them on the floor. Then her blouse is also discarded like a piece of paper. His heart, which once beat in his chest, was now between his legs, and urgently needed attention. 

"You said you weren't in the-," Thomas tries to say, but is cut off.

"Don't ask questions, Holland, just take off your clothes now." Y/n says with need in her voice.

Thomas stands up at the same speed as his girlfriend, taking one of his hands to remove his glasses.

"No, no. The glasses stay on." Y/n warns, causing an outburst of laughter from the actor.

"Did they get you like this?" Holland asks, pressing his body to his lover's, feeling his chest heave with desire. "My princess" He touches her face, guiding his thumb to the center of Y/n's pink lips. "If I had known they were going to have you like this, I would have used them sooner"

"Thomas, less talk and more action."

[lovelettersfromluna]

You mystify me {Ellie Williams X Reader}

Summary: A new family moves in down the street from Joel, and Ellie just so happens to be home for the holidays. What better way to welcome the newbies than to drag his daughter to their house with a half burnt pie?

Warnings: MDNI, Smut, drug use (marijuana), afab reader, Ellie is horrible with feelings, slight angst if you squint?, Ellie is in college, fingering (r! receiving), scissoring, let me know if I missed anything pleaseee.

an: Hello angels! Welcome to my very first post, it's so nice to have you here. I will admit, I've been going back and forth with my first fic for quite a while now, but I think this may be the one. I don't mention any specific body types/skin tones/eye colors/hair colors/hair types, just to ensure that its inclusive for everyone to insert themselves into. I truly hope you all enjoy, and please feel free to give any tips or pointers for things you'd like to see change for the future. Love, Luna. p.s Happy Pride Month!!!

Word count: 6.7 k

Ellie hated the holidays.

She didn't want to sound miserable, or ungrateful, but she hated everything that came with it. She preferred times like summer or spring, where she could just go home for the break without having anything she needed to be there for. Those times meant she could just lounge around in her childhood home until her dad got home, and they could watch football and drink beers until they both passed out on the couch. No stupid holiday events to attend, no painstakingly long dinners to go to, it could just be them, with no distractions.

But no, the holidays made it painfully aware that those dreams were but a far off memory that she couldn't have for the next five months.

She was home for Thanksgiving break, back pressed up against the soft sheets of her childhood bed as she faced the ceiling, her eyes closed as she inhaled deeply. If she wasn't so miserable over the fact that she was in fact home for the holidays, the scent of warm apples and cinnamon would have caught her attention.

Wait...apples? Cinnamon?

She frowned as she sat up, her soft brown locks brushing against her forehead and cheek bones as she shifted a bit. The kitchen at her dads place went pretty much untouched, seeing that neither of them were great in the kitchen at all. Ellie was raised off of cheap takeout and boxed Mac and cheese, and truthfully she wouldn't have it any other way.

Ellie got up with a low sigh, adjusting the grey hoodie that hung on her skinny frame before she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. The old floorboards creaked underneath her sock clad feet, reminding her of all the times she'd slipped and fallen on the godforsaken floor before.

When she got downstairs, the image of Joel in an apron made her furrow her eyebrows in confusion. He was mixing something in a bowl, his narrowed eyes darting back and forth between the oven and a small timer he had placed next to him on the counter. The sound of the floor creaking caught his attention, and his head shot over towards the direction of his daughter.

"Was just about t'call you down here...need your help with this..uh..." He groaned softly as he motioned towards the cook book he had propped up against another spare bowl he had.

Ellie snorted softly as she pushed herself off of the wall she was leaned up against, watching her father struggle in amusement before she hummed, bringing her attention to the cook book. She squinted a bit as she leaned in, eyebrows furrowing, looking far too similar to her farther before she nodded.

"Apple pie?....Since when do you bake old man?" She teased gently, looking down into the bowl he was mixing. She had to admit, whatever he was working on didn't look half bad. She wasn't exactly an expert, but she had gotten stuck on the cooking channel far too many times when she was too high out of her mind to switch it to something else, and whatever her dad was working on looked....like he was doing something right.

"I don't....not usually at least..." He grumbled out softly, giving the contents in the bowl one last good mix before he squinted at the cook book once again, sighing before he placed the bowl down. He gave the timer one last look before he walked over to the oven, opening it and pulling out the golden pie crust.

"Need you to go and get dressed, you and I are going out" His eyes are focused on pouring the contents into the pie crust, which Ellie had figured out was in deed the pie filling. Ellie frowned as she watched her father work on the pastry, her arms crossed over her chest as her eyes darted up to look at him.

"What? I thought...I thought we didn't have anything to do this week. We were supposed to watch the game tonight, remember?" She practically whined out, sounding far too much like a small child who was not getting their way. This made Joel chuckle softly, because for a moment it reminded him of Ellie when she was much younger, his little soldier.

"Didn't say we weren't watchin' the game kid...just not watchin' it here" He hummed out before he finished filling the pie, and pushed it back into the oven. He took his apron off, hanging it on the handle of the pantry door as he began cleaning up the monstrosity in the kitchen that had came about through his adventures with baking.

Ellie on the other hand, was fuming.

She had a strict 24 hour warning policy before she had to go anywhere, and it was especially important for this policy to be withheld during the holidays. She needed time to prepare, to put herself in the headspace of socializing for the night before actually doing so. It was like she had to charge up her social battery longer than usual for things like this, and it sort of hurt her feelings to think that her dad would disregard that.

Especially when she was under the impression that he felt the exact same way that she did in instances like this.

But instead, he was happily baking a pie for god knows what, with his silly little apron as if he were Martha Stewart herself, and to be quite honest, Ellie was a little pissed off.

She let out an annoyed huff as she circled around Joel, who was leaned up against the sink washing the last set of mixing bowls and measuring cups. She stared at him with pleading eyes, as if begging him to cancel on the ominous force that was pushing them out of their home for the night.

"But you never even said anything about leaving tonight...I...Im not going to Shirley's house again. Her kids look like they fucking bite and her food sucks" She breathed out, causing Joel to laugh softly.

'No. no...I know you're not too fond of her El...." He hummed softly as he turned off the sink, grabbing a nearby towel and drying his hands. He began walking off to his bedroom, to which Ellie promptly followed behind, clearly not done with her whining.

"Then where are we going?" Ellie asked once again, the tall girl leaned up against the entrance door to her fathers bedroom as he disappeared in his closet, most likely changing into a suitable flannel shirt for whoever it was that they so desperately needed to visit for the night. "We've got new neighbors down the street...caught em' movin in when I was comin' home from work last week"

Joel's words made Ellie frown even further, and her eyes trained on him as he moved around the room, grabbing different things from his dresser before moving to the bathroom to continue getting ready. "And? What does that have to do with us"

A low sigh could be heard from the bathroom, the tone in Ellie's voice already letting Joel know that she would not be letting this go without a fight. "It's nice to be neighborly, kid. Plus, it's the holidays....least we can do is bring them somethin' nice". His words were a bit muffled by the towel he pushed up against his face, most likely freshening up a bit. Ellie rolled her eyes, pushing herself off of his door. She was annoyed, she wanted to spend time with her dad, and not some strangers. She knew that moments with him during the fall and winter months were sparse, so she looked forward to them more than she did usually.

She knew there was nothing she could do to convince him to cancel, or to even avoid all of the formalities and let her deliver the pie. And by deliver, she would most definitely drop it at their door step with a sticky note that read "From Joel and Ellie down the street", a sorry excuse of a welcome, but enough so to get the message through to them.

So, she simply turned around and shrugged her hoodie off, stomping her feet against the wooden stairs a bit too loud for comfort to change into something a bit more sensible.

"Your pie is burning by the way" She called out before she slammed her door and promptly began rummaging through her messy closet for clothes.

And thats how they ended up here, at your doorstep with a half burnt pie held between Joel's old, scarred hands. They didn't leave without a small argument, Joel scolding Ellie for giving him a hard time, complaining that she was the one that made him screw up his timer. Ellie would never admit it, but she secretly hoped it would push her dad to cancel last minute.

But it didn't, and she was standing next to him with her fists shoved in her pockets. The fall air had been growing colder and colder with each passing day, and her mouth was already opening to let out another string of complaints to her father about how "fucking cold" it was and that this was "really stupid".

But before she could, you were opening the door. A bright smile splayed across your plush lips that were painted the prettiest deep berry shade. You're shirt was the exact same color, a corset style top that hugged your mid section perfectly, black lace peaking out at the edge of it near your hips and at the top of your cleavage, a simple pair of blue jeans that hugged your hips and ass deliciously, and a tiny blood red heart hung on a thin chain that was around your neck, falling right between your soft tits.

Ellie blinked a few times as she stared down at you, her throat practically closing up, any slick complaints she had ready to fire at her father had died down the second she laid eyes on you. She couldn't stop her eyes from shamelessly traveling down your body, taking in every aspect of your outfit, which caused her cheeks to burn red.

A soft gasp from your lips cut right through her racing thoughts, and you were looking down at the pie that Joel held. "Mr. Miller, I didn't know you baked. This looks amazing!". Despite the state of the pie, you words were genuine, quickly taking the pie from the man and stepping aside so the both of them could step in.

"Your dad mentioned you liked apples...had a few I needed to get rid of....where is he by the way?" Joel mentioned casually, a low chuckle leaving his lips as he thought about the fact that he did in fact make a specific grocery trip just for all of the ingredients for the pie in the first place. He shrugged his coat off, to which you quickly put the pie down in the kitchen before rushing back to the both of them.

You took Joel's coat from him before having it up on the rack. "He's trying to fix a light in the living room, he might actually need your help" You sighed out, watching as Joel nodded before giving Ellie a look, silently urging the girl to introduce herself before he set off to find your father.

You gave her a sweet smile, extending your hand for hers as you gave her your name. "You must be Ellie, my dad said Joel mentioned you when they met the other day. Im really glad you came"

Ellie froze as she looked down at your manicured hand. Your nails were black, and short, painted almost perfectly, a few rings perched on some of your fingers. She swallowed nervously, nodding slowly before she brought a cold hand up to shake yours. "Yeah...yeah im Ellie..." She mumbled out, hating how fucking good your warm hand felt wrapped around your smaller one.

You furrowed your eyebrows a bit at her strange behavior before you nodded slowly, letting go of your hand as she began shrugging off her brown leather jacket. You smiled sweetly, stepping closer to her as you held your hands out for it "Here, I can take that".

Ellie looked down at your hands before looking back into your eyes, her breath hitching in her throat before she nodded slowly, shrugging off her jacket and handing it to you. You gave her a reassuring smile as you hung it up, her eyes following you the entire time shamelessly.

"I don't know about yours, but my dad hasn't stopped talking about you guys coming over all week. I was really happy when he told me Mr. Miller had a daughter, I'd be miserable if I had to listen to them talk about building a deck or mowing the lawn" You huffed out, smoothing down the leather of Ellie's jacket as you hung it up. You turned around, giving her a smile before you nodded your head towards the kitchen, "Well, we might as well head in there, not that they notice us being gone, they were outside for almost an hour when we were moving in" You giggled softly at the memory, trying to ease some of the tension in the air.

Ellie on the other hand, didn't want you to stop talking. The sweet melody of your voice was making her forget all about the irritating rage that was screaming for attention in the back of her head, counting down the minutes until she could leave your house. Now, it was like she couldn't get enough of being in your warm home.

"Tell me about it, he spent the entire afternoon on that damn pie" She sighed out, her hands taking their usual spot in her pockets. You giggled softly, making Ellie's chest burn with pride.

"Is it just you and your dad by the way?" Ellie asked softly as she looked around in your home, looking for any trace of information that revealed any other family members that you may have. You nodded your head as you began walking to the kitchen slowly, leading her behind you.

"Yep. My mom left when I was a baby, so it's been him and I for as long as I can remember" You nodded to yourself, thinking back to your childhood growing up with a single dad. Ellie couldn't ignore the wave of panic wash over her when it began settling in. You were living there now, right down the street from her. You weren't just a hot girl that she could embarrass herself in front of one time and then never have to see again, you were permanent.

Your conversation was cut short once both Joel and your dad caught sight of the both of you walking into the dim kitchen. "There you are, thought you two got lost", your fathers words made you giggle, and you shook your head as you made your way into the kitchen. "Just getting to know Ellie, dad. You had your turn getting to know Mr. Miller, remember?" You teased playfully as you pulled out various dishes from the oven that you had been keeping warm.

Ellie watched as you moved everything to the table, her eyes going wide at just how much you were putting out for them. "Did you make all of this?" She asked quietly in disbelief, to which you nodded with a shy smile on your lips.

Your dad and Joel moved to stand in the kitchen near Ellie, "She takes care of all the cooking, no matter how much I try and help" Your dad chuckled softly, causing you to roll your eyes a bit. "You're just no good at it dad...plus, I don't mind it" You hummed softly as you set the table, stepping back and making sure the placements were enough before you nodded to yourself. "if you two are done talking light bulbs, we can eat".

Ellie couldn't believe she was admitting it, but dinner went well.

She spent the entire night quietly munching on your delicious food, and watching you. Her heart would beat a little bit faster every time you noticed, and gave her a sweet smile, which made her brain short circuit for a few minutes before she smiled back. Both her dad and your dad went back and forth all night about work, their latest projects, and bragging about the both of you.

"Ellie does great in school, she's just started her second year over at UEC" Joel casually bragged, causing Ellie to groan softly. She hated when he did it, regardless of the fact that she knew it came from a place of love. He was always eager to gloat about how smart his daughter is, how much she had achieved and how proud of her he was for it.

Your father raised his eyebrows at Joel's words, the excited expression written all over your pretty face too clear to go unnoticed. "No way, I start my first year in the spring" You smiled excitedly, to which Joel gave Ellie a gentle nudge.

"Would'a look at that, you'll have to show her around, won't you Ellie?". Ellie licked her lips, cracking a half smile as she gave a slight nod, allowing the rest of you to fall into friendly conversation. The familiar sense of panic settling in on her again. Not only would she have to see you every time she was at her dads house, but you would also be fluttering your way around campus. She could only hope she would be able to fly under your radar at least a little bit.

Once you were all finished with dinner, both your dad and Joel had made their way onto the back porch after you had shooed them out of the kitchen, insisting that you and Ellie had everything handled. That's how you found yourself in your current situation, which was Ellie drying the washed dishes, and handing them to you so you could put them away to their correct spots.

"So, how do you like UEC?" You hummed softly as you pushed the last plate into the cupboard. Ellie raised her eyebrows at your question, drying her hands with the towel she had before she hung it on a nearby rack. "UEC is good....pretty chill if you ask me....although im not the greatest person to ask. I only really go to and from class before going back to my apartment and crashing" She mumbled out all too truthfully, which caused you to giggle. "I feel you...im honestly not looking forward to picking up after the break and moving into my apartment."

Your words set off a lightbulb in Ellies head, and before she could even stop herself, she was speaking again. "I could help you move in if you want...Im pretty good with...boxes" She mentally kicked herself for how fucking awkward she sounded, but the excited twinkle in your eye made up for it.

"Really? I mean...you seriously don't have to but...it would mean the world if you did". The soft tone of your voice had her practically swooning, her tongue darting out to lick her lips before she gave you a firm nod. "Yeah, yeah...it's no problem at all. It'll problem even get me out of holiday stuff anyways so...more than happy to" She breathed out.

You smiled excitedly, nodding quickly before you were pulling your phone out of your back pocket, and pushing it towards her. "Here, put your number in. We could hang out or something before break is over". You gave her a reassuring nod before gently pushing your phone towards her once more. Ellie didn't hesitate to type her number in and save it for you.

And no more than a week later, you two were texting every day. Ellie truly could not remember the last time she had been so obsessive with texting someone, the girl always leaving her phone on her bed for hours and ignoring almost every notification that came through to it, either too lazy or too tired to give it any attention.

But now, now she couldn't go ten minutes without rushing to her phone to see if you were messaging her back. Either replying to the stupid TikTok you sent her, or asking her opinion on what outfit you were wearing that day, her phone was glued to her hand. Joel picked up on it rather quickly, the usual whining and huffing that emitted from his daughter every time they had to go somewhere had come to an end, her phone pacifying her completely. He had asked about it one day, curious as to what it was exactly that had her so enamored practically overnight. He received a small mumble of your name, to which her simply smirked and never asked again.

It was another boring Tuesday morning at home, Ellie lounging around her house while her dad was at work, texting you of course. She whistled to herself as she finished making her coffee, until the familiar ding of her phone caught her attention.

ellieeeeee

hm?

whatcha doin today loser

She caught herself smiling softly at your messages far too often

nothin, dad's at work. wbu?

hmmm mine too

wanna come over nd smoke?

Ellie felt herself freeze once she read over your message. In fact, she found herself reading it once, twice, three times, just to make sure she was reading it correctly. It had already been a week since she had been at your house for dinner, and not a day had gone by where she didn't think about you, but she was ashamed to admit that she had been avoiding seeing you in person. She had done a great job so far, finding easy ways to circle around your attempts at bringing it up, but this had been the first time that you outright asked, and she was freaking the fuck out.

And fuck, it wasn't even because she didn't want to, of course she wanted you. She had bee texting you every day since she met you, it was just that...Ellie became so fucking stupid around pretty girls, she always did. She preferred to avoid it if it wasn't in a party setting where it was easy to pretend she was someone she wasn't. But she would be with you, in your home, in your room, and it was pretty damn hard to pretend when it was that....close.

um or not

if ur busy its okay dont worry :P

The next string of messages that came from your end had her panicking, and she knew if she was going to make a decision, she had to make it quick. She inhaled deeply, her thumbs still hovering over the screen of her phone, before she began typing.

nah sorry

not busy today

I can come over now?

plsssss

come come

Ellie let out the breath she had been holding, the air coming out as a loud exhale once she read your responses. She sighed, looking at the time on her phone before she groaned, peeling her body off of the counter and making her way upstairs to get dressed.

Before she knew it, Ellie was at your door.

Her tattooed hand rapped at your door, inhaling the cold air deeply as she promptly brought her hand back to the warm pocket of her jacket. She sighed out, looking down at the little 'welcome' mat that she stood on. She was positive any homey touches were of your doing, and something about that made the corner of her lips tug into a small smile.

When you opened the door, the warmth of your home was wafting onto her freckled face, causing her to audibly sigh in relief. You smiled excitedly up at her, face far too happy and fresh to belong to someone who had been texting Ellie up into the wee hours of the night prior. You quickly grabbed her arm, tugging her inside and out of the cold before you closed the door behind her.

You exchanged little words, eagerly pulling her jacket off and putting it on the same rack that you had the last time she was there. She chuckled softly, looking down at you with a raised eyebrow. "Woah, slow down...your practically bouncing off the walls" She chuckled out, which prompted you to huff softly.

"Are you kidding me? You're the first person im hanging out with that isn't my father, you're lucky im not jumping your bones right now" You giggled softly.

Ellie was secretly hoping that you would.

You gave her a moment to gather herself before your hand was wrapping around her wrist and dragging her up to your bedroom, your lips going a mile a minute about all the things you wanted to do with the day that you would be spending with her.

Your room looks exactly like Ellie imagined it would.

She figures that deep, maroon, berry shade might be your favorite, because it's everywhere. It's the color of your sheets, and your curtains, and you managed to only choose band posters that matched with that dark aesthetic as well. Your room smells like you, like vanilla and violets, mixed with the strawberry candle that you had burning. Its warm, and inviting, and it feels like you.

Ellie finds that it's her new favorite scent.

You hummed softly as you crawled onto your bed, turning around so you were laying with your back against your pretty pillows. Ellie thinks she's died and gone to heaven at that point, because your hair looks so pretty splayed underneath you, and your eyes look so dreamy looking up at her, and your cotton shorts are hugging your thighs so well, and-

She realizes you're talking to her, and she hasn't heard a word you've said, because she is gawking at you.

"Huh?"

You giggled softly as you sat up, crawling over to the edge of your bed and grabbing a black box with dark red roses and tiny stars painted all over it. You pull out a neatly rolled blunt, which is of course rolled with none other than rose petals. She laughs, watching in awe as you bring it to your lips, perching it between them before cupping your hand around it, and lighting the end.

Ellie doesn't think she's ever been more jealous of a fucking blunt before.

You sighed softly, crawling over to your window and opening it up before you blew the smoke out, passing the blunt to her before you moved back to your spot on the bed.

"I said, come sit with me. You look like you're gonna cry" You giggled softly, smiling once she took the blunt from your fingers.

She stared down at the girly looking joint, sighing as she shook her head.

She brought it to her lips, taking a deep inhale before she moved to lay next to you on the bed. The heat filling her lungs cleared her head, and in an instant she was already feeling more comfortable around you, less scared of the fact that you'd think she was a fucking pervert or something.

"Girliest fucking blunt I've ever seen man..." She breathe out, smoke clouding her features as she blew out. You scrunched her nose at her words, taking it back and bringing it to your lips. "S'not girly...just..tastes better than regular papers...plus, its way better for you" You nodded to yourself, moving up the pillow and getting in a comfortable spot next to Ellie.

Ellie rolled her eyes, taking it back from you as you both feel into a comfortable conversation.

Ellie isn't totally sure when it happens, but within an hour, you're both high out of your minds.

You were a giggling mess, finding anything that left Ellies lips to be comedic gold. Your legs were splayed over hers, and she had her hand on your thigh, massaging and squeezing the skin ever so often. You'd be lying if you said it didn't feel good, her hands were so warm, and so big, you wanted them all over you.

Once your laughter died down, you hummed softly. Your hazy eyes traced her features, heart fluttering at how fucking pretty Ellie was. It was clear to you that she was pretty when you first saw her, but her hands on your thighs, and the fact that she was sitting on your bed, looking good enough to fucking eat, it was smacking you right in the face.

Your hands traced her tattoo gently, fingertips leaving feathery touches on her skin. “This is pretty…when d’you get it done?” You hummed out, scooting a bit closer to her.

Ellie hummed softly, welcoming your new position closer to her as she let you position your legs closer on her own. “My ex did it for me like a year or two ago..”. The squeeze on your thigh had your heart fluttering, a soft hum leaving your lips as you continued tracing along the intricate patterns of her tattoo.

"You still talk to them?" Your words were breathy, sounding desperate and needy in your head. To Ellie, you sounded dreamy. Your words were light an airy, and she found herself counting down the seconds until you'd speak again, wanting so badly to hear those pretty words fall from your pretty lips.

She shook her head, her eyes focused on the way your lips were swelling up from how often you bit them. "Not anymore...not talking to anyone right now.." she hummed out, giving your thigh another squeeze.

She felt like she had to let you know that there was no one on her mind right now, not when she was in your room, with your legs splayed over hers, squeezing your thighs with every word that she spoke.

Your eyes twinkled a bit as you stared up a her, swallowing down the whine that was stuck in your throat. Your thighs were on fire underneath her long fingers, your mind clouded with a thick fog that made it hard to see past any better judgment. Ellie was in your bed, touching you and making you feel so nice, and she was telling you that she wasn't talking to anyone.

The cloud fogging your brain wasn't thick enough to distract you from how badly you wanted Ellie, your teeth nearly broke the skin of your lips with how much you were biting down into them, the overwhelming need for the girl nagging at your brain with every passing second.

You decided you didn't want to ignore it anymore.

Without another thought, you were crawling onto Ellies lap, your thighs straddling her waist as you pressed your chest against hers. Ellie let out a shaky breath once she noticed that you were moving, fully expecting you to get up and go to the bathroom or something, and not at all to settle your ass against her lap. Despite her surprise, her hands immediately went to rest on your hips, giving them a gentle squeeze as she stared into your eyes.

"Fuck..." She breathed out your name, her words coming out mumbled as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. You let out a soft sigh, your fingers going to her neck to toy with the soft ends of her hair as you stared at her lips.

"Is this...okay?" Your words were so soft, barely above a whisper. Ellie felt her core throb at your tone, wanting nothing more than to wreck you completely, turning you into a babbling mess underneath her. Her nod was eager, probably too eager but she didn't have enough in her to even care at that point. Her hands were pulling you closer to her body, desperate to feel more of you. "Fuck...yeah...yeah this is more than okay...Jesus..." She mumbled out quietly, causing you to giggle.

You nodded, humming softly as you studied her face. It was nice to see her this close, taking in all of her little freckles, the little wrinkle in her forehead, you were close enough to even hear the way her breath quickened with you perched on her lap. "Can I kiss you Ellie?..." Once again, your words were soft, and gentle.

Ellie felt like she was going to lose her fucking mind.

She let out a low groan before her lips were pressing against yours, a soft moan leaving your mouth once you finally felt her against you. The kiss was needy, and heavy, and messy and breathy, and it was everything Ellie wanted from you. You simply let her in, letting her kiss you however she wanted, touch you however she wanted, and that stirred something deep inside of Ellie.

Your little whines and whimpers egged her on to do more, touch you more, feel you more. Her long fingers were slipping underneath your t shirt, massaging the skin of your hips as she pulled you in closer. The sounds that bounced off the walls of your bedroom were filthy, low groans and moans and Ellie, breathy little whines from you, and the wet sound of you tongues rubbing together all came together to make the sweetest symphony that was strictly for the two of you.

Your thin shirt did a terrible job at keep your hard nipples discreet. Ellie moaned at the way your tits felt pressed up against hers, and it made her want more.

She broke the kiss, her breath heavy as she pulled your t shirt over your head, and tossed it somewhere else within your room. She sucked in a harsh breath once she caught sight of your pebbled nipples. She immediately pushed you back to lay down, slotting herself between your legs before her wet mouth was wrapped around one of your nipples, and her other hand was rolling the other between her fingers.

Your mind was fuzzy, and she was making you feel so fucking warm. The feeling of her skilled mouth flicking your nipple back and forth with her tongue made all of the blood in your body rush to your core, your pussy throbbing underneath the constraints of your shorts. You whined, your hips moving against her body, desperately searching for some form of friction as your hands came up to thread in her soft hair.

"F-fuck...Ellie..mmpph..ah...need you Ellie...please" You sounded so desperate, so needy, so fucking sweet. It made Ellie smirk against your soft skin, letting go of your nipple with a pop before she looked back up at you. In no time, her lips were pressed against yours again, swallowing your whines as she hummed softly. "Yeah? Need me to play with you baby? Where do you need me, hm? Go on..." She smirked teasingly, her words muffled with her lips smooshed against yours.

Your eyebrows furrowed with frustration as you huffed out, one of your hands coming down to slip underneath her t shirt, tugging at the waist band of her jeans.

"You're so...mmm..fuck...annoying...please fuck me Ellie..." You struggled to speak, especially when Ellie began rocking her hips against you, teasing you with the attention you needed most. You let out a soft moan, giving her shirt one more tug before she chuckled, pulling away so she could pull off her t shirt, followed by her jeans. "So needy...looks like ill have to sort you out then, won't I" She smirked softly as she grabbed you by your hips, pulling you closer as she tugged off your shorts and your panties.

You whined softly as you watched her strip in front of you, feeling the wet spot between your legs grow more and more with every new piece of her that was revealed to you. It was pathetic, how vocal you were being without even being touched, but you couldn't even care, not when she was giving you everything you wanted without so much of a fight.

She hissed softly against your lips, her fingers swiping back and forth between your glossy folds. "Fuck...lil pussy is just weeping for me, huh? Been long since you've been fucked baby?" Her words were taunting, filthy, and they made you huff as your cheeks burned with embarrassment.

"Just...come on El....need to feel you.." You whined, tugging her hand gently to pull her back to her spot in between your legs. She smirked softly as she watched you, her hand cupping your cheek gently before she pressed one more kiss to your lips. "I'll take care of you angel..dont you worry" She hummed out before she slotted herself between your legs.

She gripped your thigh in her hands, positioning herself so that her pussy was pressed up against yours. The feeling had you moaning before she could even move, her wet folds pressed up against yours made your eyes roll back, made your back arch, and if Ellie didn't know any better, she'd think you came just from that alone.

"Fuck...feel that baby? Feel how wet you've got me? thats it...thats a good fucking girl.." She moaned out, her words caged behind her gritted teeth as she began rolling her hips back and forth, her pussy gliding across yours, clit bumping against your own in a way that you had never felt before. It was almost as if she was designed for you, and you her, and it had you like putty in her hands.

"Ah!...y-yeah! Right there Ellie, oh my god" Your moans were breathy and needy, and Ellie couldn't help by smirk down at you, enjoying the show you were putting on for her a little too much. It was like a work of art, the way you just let the pleasure take you, the way you let her take you, it had her wanting to do more, go further, bring you the most pleasure you'd ever felt in your entire fucking life.

And you felt it. In the way she began speeding up, your moans egging her on to keep going. Her hand gripped your thigh tighter, giving her a better grip on your body to allow her to go faster. Your moans mixed together, and the wetness of your cores created a pornographic sound that you would most definitely feel embarrassed about tomorrow, but not now, not when you felt this fucking good.

Ellie moaned loudly, her head falling back as she went faster, feeling her stomach coil in that delicious way that she loved so much. And yours did too, you stared up at her in awe as she fucked her pussy down onto yours, and you whined, eyebrows furrowed with utter pleasure.

"Gonna cum...p-please cum with me Ellie..fuck...please" You didn't even have to ask, because Ellie was nodding her head the second she heard the pleas leave your swollen lips. "Yeah...fuck...yeah baby...gonna cum with you...gonna fucking...oh my god!" And as if timed perfectly, she felt white hot pleasure wash over her, and you felt the exact same.

Your back arched almost painfully, hands fisting the sheets beneath you as you came hard, the wet noises of your pussy's amplifying as Ellie slowed down, riding both yours and her orgasm out.

The sensitivity made you whimper, and Ellie breathed hard as she looked down at your worn out body. Your eyes were heavy, and she knew exactly what it meant. She placed her hands on your hips, pushing herself off of your wobbly legs before she walked off to the bathroom, grabbing a wet rag and cleaning herself up before grabbing another and coming back to do the same for you.

When she returned, you had rolled over onto your side, and your heavy eyes were fighting the drowsy, post sex nap that you so desperately needed. She smiled softly as she watched you, spreading your legs despite the soft, sleepy whine you let out. "I know baby...just gonna clean you up, then we can sleep, yeah?". She took the small noise you made as a response before she carried on cleaning you, taking the dirty rags after and putting them in your hamper before she returned to the bed.

She sighed out softly, gently pulling your sleepy form to lay with her underneath the covers, and almost immediately you were hiking your thigh over her leg and cuddling into her body. A soft, sleepy sound left your lips once again, and before she could even blink, soft snores were leaving your parted lips.

Ellie sighed softly as she stared down at you for a moment before she looked up at the ceiling, a familiar sinking feeling settling in on her stomach as she held you close. She decided shed ignore it, and instead focus on the warm feeling that you brought instead.

She would cross that bridge when she got to it.

[brokebonewritings]

Never Before, Never Again

Astarion x Fem! Reader

Tags/ Warnings: 18+, Angst, Abuse, Death, Mentions of Blood, Smut

Summary: It’s been six month since settling down in Baldur’s Gate with Astarion. After killing Cazador, you notice his aggressive nature taking over. How long will it take for you to be truly done with his wrath.

Word Count: 2.6K

A/N: I want to start off by apologizing but I felt so inspired after the new romance scenes in Patch 6. I also want to say that I will be writing a good ole, fluff fic with Astarion just to make up for this.

Navigation || Masterlist

You paced down the corridor of the palace you now shared with Astarion. It had been 6 months since that fateful night. The killing of Cazador had been eventful so to say and shortly after you had accepted his invitation to be his. Forever.

It wasn't the same. You started noticing it little by little. His attitude towards you had become increasingly aggressive. Feral even.

You couldn't shake off the feeling of unease that lingered in the air whenever Astarion was around. His once charming demeanor had turned into something darker. As you walked through the palace corridors, you couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding creeping up your spine.

Reaching the library, you decided to throw yourself into your research. You were a scholarly warlock, after all. And work you did. For hours you studied magic texts, and the histories behind them.

As you sat in the dimly lit library, Astarion entered the room with a predatory glint in his eyes. His movements were slow and deliberate, like a predator stalking its prey. When you turned, you tried to shake off the feeling of fear that gripped your chest as he approached you.

"Darling, is this where you've been all day?" His voice was low and dangerous, sending a shiver down your spine. "I've missed you and your delicious body."

The room turned cold as his words sank in. Something had changed in him, something dark and possessive. 

You swallowed hard, trying to maintain your composure in the face of his unsettling presence. "I've been busy with my studies," you replied, keeping your tone neutral despite the growing sense of dread in your heart.

The dread whenever he was around had only appeared in the most recent weeks. You tried to focus on the book in front of you, but his proximity was suffocating.

Astarion's hand suddenly shot out and slammed the book shut, causing you to jump in your seat. His grip on the tome was tight, his knuckles turning white as he leaned in close enough for you to feel his cold breath on your skin.

"Studies can wait," he whispered, his voice sending a chill down your spine. "I have other ways for us to spend our time together."

You had to play along. It was the only way to appease him. The only way you could escape.

"How is that, my love?" You say as you rise from your seat, taking his outstretched hand gently.

In a swift motion he pulls you in close to his chest. As he held you tightly against him, his grip almost bruising, you couldn't help but feel a surge of fear mingled with a strange sense of thrill.

His lips brushed against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine as he whispered, "I want to show you a new side of pleasure, my dear. A side that only I can unlock for you." His words were laced with seduction.

As he guided you out of the library and down the dimly lit corridors of the palace, you couldn't shake off the feeling of being led into the unknown. 

You found yourself in a room you were very familiar with. The air was heavy with the scent of ancient magic, and as Astarion's eyes gleamed with an otherworldly light, you realized truly you were not in the presence of the man you one knew.

"Darling, did you bring me in here to ravish me?" You say as you begin to remove your silk dress.

Watching his eyes darken with hunger, his lips curled into a sinister smile. He circled around you like a predator assessing its prey, his fingertips trailing lightly along your skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

He finally stops behind you and reaches around your neck to grip your jaw. His touch was both possessive and delicate, a stark contrast that sent a wave of conflicting emotions through you. As he tilted your head back to expose your vulnerable throat, you could feel the weight of his gaze burning into your skin.

Astarion's voice was a low murmur against your ear, promising whispered secrets and forbidden desires. "Oh, my sweet little morsel," he murmured, "I am going to make sure there is not a single place on your skinned that is untouched."

His mouth finds the pressure point in your neck and you moan as he gives it a gentle bite. You know he can feel you tremble beneath his hand. He trails his kisses lower until he is able to fully sink his teeth in.

You begin to gasp and writhe under his touch, the intensity of his grip and the sharp sting of his bite both arousing and terrifying. And then, as suddenly as it began, Astarion pulls away, leaving you breathless and exposed.

"Astarion!" You shout, hand covering the bite marks on your neck. "I told you to ask before doing that!"

"I do not need to ask permission! You are mine! I own you!" He grabs your arm pulling you towards him.

That did not stop the tears from beginning to drip down your cheeks. Everything he did not want to become, he was. After countless promises that he was the same rogue you had met that fateful day.

"Oh darling, do you see what you have made me do?" He whispers. "You know I don't like to shout at you." 

Astarion's features softened as he saw the tears on my face, though his eyes remained distant and cold. He slowly released my arm and stepped back.

You take a deep breath, trying to calm the tremors in your body. "You need to control yourself, Astarion. You are beginning to change into someone I don't know."

"Of course I am changing. I am the most powerful being in this world." He walks over to the chair by his desk. "Are you doubting me now?"

Shaking your head, you couldn't help but to submit to the question. "No, no. Of course not, love."

He motions with his finger for you to come to him and you obey. When you approach him, he motions for you to kneel before him. Once again you obey his command.

"Here is what we are going to do, pet." He begins "You are going to be a good girl, and do as I say. Understand?"

You nod. "Yes I understand."

"Such a good girl, aren't you?"

He stands and steps forward grabbing hold of your chin and bringing you in for a searing kiss. Once he was satisfied, he pushes against your cheek causing you to fall back roughly. You try to catch your breath as you sit there, staring up at him.

"Get undressed, and sit on the bed for me, darling."

You stand and finally fully undress. You sit on the edge of the bed, feeling the silk sheets beneath you. You didn't know how to react at this point.

He stepped closer until he was looming over you, his shadow engulfing you in its darkness. Then, he reached down and began to trace the outline of your body with his fingers, starting at your neck and moving down to your chest.

"Spread your legs for me," he commands, his voice low and seductive.

You hesitate for a moment, but then you find yourself doing as he says, unable to resist his authority. He takes a moment to enjoy the sight before him, his gaze lingering on each part of your body that he intends to claim.

Finally, he leans down and kisses your inner thigh, his lips barely brushing against your skin. You tremble as he slowly makes his way up, his tongue tracing a path along the delicate flesh. Each touch of his lips and tongue sends shockwaves of pleasure coursing through you.

As his lips reach your most intimate place, you arch your back, your breath coming in short gasps. You feel him tease you, his tongue flicking against you, driving you mad with desire.

Astarion smiles, a wicked smile, as he notices the effect he's having on you. He pulls back slightly, giving you a moment to catch your breath before he begins to devour you. His tongue plunges inside you, sending waves of pleasure through you that threaten to consume you.

You can't help but cry out in pleasure, your hands gripping the sheets beneath you as his tongue moves inside you. You are completely at his mercy, your body arching and writhing as he takes you to heights you never thought possible. Finally, he pulls back, his eyes gleaming with triumph. He leans down and kisses you, allowing you to taste yourself on his lips. 

"Now," he says, his voice low and commanding, "It's time for you to learn what it means to truly be mine."

You nod, still reeling from the intensity of the experience. With one swift motion, he grabs your hips as he flips you over. You lay there a moment, listening to the ties of his pants coming undone.

He lifts you up and positions you at the edge of the bed, spreading your legs wide to reveal your vulnerability. His powerful hands grip your hips, and he begins to enter you slowly, his movements deliberate, almost intimate. 

You gasp in pain, then pleasure, as the feeling of fullness envelops you, overwhelming your senses. He moves harder, faster, and you can't help but arch your back to meet his thrusts, moaning his name over and over.

He continues to dominate you, his voice a low rumble in your ear, promising you more pleasure than you ever thought possible. Your body responds, writhing beneath him, your hands clutching the sheets, your moans echoing through the dimly lit room.

"That's it, my love," he growls, his voice low and filled with lust. "Take it all."

His thrusts became more erratic, his breath ragged, and you felt his grip on your hips tighten. Astarion's eyes lock on yours, and you see the intensity of his desire reflected in them. With one final thrust, he groans your name, and you feel him spill inside you.

When you feel him slip out of you, you can't help but turn yourself around to face him. You were met with the unpleasant feeling of a sharp dagger being pressed against your chest.

"Astarion?"

"I know exactly what you are planning to do to me, Darling."

The dagger you had hidden in the pocket of your dress was the exact one that was being held against you.

"Please Astarion, it doesn't have to be like this!" You begin to cry. The man you once knew and loved had been left in that chamber.

"Oh, but it does have to be like this." He presses the dagger a little harder causing you to wince in pain. "You were the last person I expected to betray me." 

"Betray you?" You choke out, swallowing the lump in your throat. "I... I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, Darling." Astarion's voice is cold and murderous, and you can see it in his eyes. "We both know that's a lie."

He steps closer, the dagger still pressed against your chest. You can feel the cold metal prick you, causing you to jolt in pain.

"Tell me," he demands, his voice barely above a whisper. "What did you plan to do to me?"

"You are becoming exactly like Cazador, Astar-"

"Don't ever mutter his name in here again!" His voice seized with venom. "I am more than he ever was! Smarter, Powerful."

His grip tightened around the dagger, its edge digging deeper into your flesh, drawing a thin line of blood. Your heart raced with fear, but you couldn't help but retort, "And yet, you still lack control."

As he raises the dagger back to plunge it into your chest, you quickly maneuver and shove him into the bed without second thought. The knife falls from his hand and slides onto the floor near your feet.

You take a moment to catch your breath and gather your thoughts. This situation has escalated far beyond what you had anticipated, and now you need to act quickly to save yourself.

Staring into Astarion's eyes, his murderous intent shining back at you. With a surge of adrenaline, you push yourself off the bed and lunge for the dagger on the floor. You manage to grab it just as he jumps to his feet, ready to pounce.

With the dagger in hand, you cautiously back away from him, trying to keep your distance. "Listen to me, Astarion," you say, trying to keep your voice steady despite the trembling in your body. "You have hurt me beyond words can explain! I have had enough!"

"I have given you everything you have ever wanted!"

"And yet you have taken everything I needed!"

Astarion's eyes narrowed at your words, and he took a step towards you, menace radiating from him. You raised the dagger in front of you, preparing to defend yourself if necessary.

"You betrayed me, Darling. You lied to me, and now you want to take my life?"

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face. "I never wanted this! I just wanted.. I just wanted you to be the person you were before, but you've become someone else. Someone I don't recognize."

"I was always this person!" He shouts, you see his hands shaking with anger. "You could not change that even if you tried."

Astarion took a deep breath, his fists clenching and unclenching. You knew he was about to do something that would change the course of both of your lives.

"I'm tired of being your spawn, Astarion."

With that, Astarion lunged at you. The dagger that was held tightly in your hand was raised as you plunged it into his heart. His eyes widen in shock, his breath catching in his throat as the cold steel and wood pierce his chest.

Blood spills from his mouth before he speaks. "I thought you loved me."

"I did love you." You sob, "But I knew for a while that you truly didn't love me."

You watch as his body convulses for a moment before going limp. You step back, staring at the lifeless form before you. The room is silent, only the sound of your ragged breathing filling the space.

Taking a deep breath, the shock of the moment is still fresh in your mind. You never thought it would come to this.

You sink to your knees beside his body, the weight of what you've done heavy on your chest. The blood is still warm as you reach down to touch it, a single tear falling onto his skin.

"I'm so sorry, Astarion," you whisper. "But I had to do it. I had to save you from yourself."

Slowly, you rise to your feet, your legs shaking with the realization of what you've done. You take in the scene before you, the remnants of your love now tainted with blood and death.

Taking a deep breath, you wipe away the blood from your hands, leaving behind a red smudge on the wall. You grab armor from the wardrobe before finally leaving the palace. When you reached the door and opened it, the cool day air felt cool against your skin.

Looking back one final time, you realize just how trapped you had been. Now free, you felt the weight of sadness as you set out on your own once again. You would never let this happen again.

Taglist: @fruityrituals @guacam011y

join my taglist!

[yerimbrit]

you're my dream : h. yunjin

synopsis: your girlfriend wakes you up at the crack of dawn for a sweet picnic date watching the sunrise.

# pairing ! nonidol!huh yunjin x reader

# tags ! just fluff really, established relationship, reader's gender isn't mentioned, usages of both 'jen' and 'yunjin', yunjin is one year older but it's not that relevant

# wordcount ! 1.7k

# warnings ! none

"babe, get up; i've got something special planned for us."

yunjin shook you awake, but you groaned and pulled the covers back over your shoulders.

"y/n..." she whined. you could tell she was pouting by the tone of her voice.

deciding not to make her wait any longer since she seemed so keen on getting you awake, you peeled the white comforter off your body and sat up. as you thought, your girlfriend was standing next to the bed with a big, sad pout on her lips. and of course, she was flashing you her infamous puppy dog eyes. as much as you loved your beauty sleep, you loved yunjin even more, so you could never be mad at her and her (adorably) dumb puppy eyes for waking you up.

you rubbed your eyes, attempting to get the sleepiness out before speaking. "what is it, jen?"

"i have a surprise for you! so get ready, we're gonna go out, please?"

she took your hands in hers, giving them a squeeze before pulling you out of bed without waiting for an answer. you followed her to the closet without much resistance, where she quickly handed you one of her favorite sweatshirts and a pair of washed-out jeans.

yunjin left for you to change, and when you entered the bathroom you're alone with your thoughts as you slipped into the clothes she picked for you and got ready.

you and yunjin had met in a rather intriguing way. you had reserved a private room at the library to study, and she barged in, out of breath and wide eyes.

(you were well into your study session, soft lofi playing into your headphones. you had a quiz in bio coming up, and you were not about to fail unlike your friend yizhuo who slept in class all the time. she was always a mystery to you anyway; always at parties, always getting drunk, and never paying attention in class. regardless, she was still your best friend, you two having met back in high school. you stopped her antics when it got too far, and she showed you how to truly live life and have fun.

"peristalsis is similar to propulsion where the food is moving through the system," you muttered to yourself, jotting the words down into your notebook, glancing at your laptop screen which showed the recorded lecture from last week.

you were about to unpause the lecture to try to catch more things you missed until the door burst open, revealing a girl who you recognized as the cute barista at the cafe you frequented on campus. she was leaning on the door panting, her hands on her knees as her gaze redirected from the door she just slammed to you, a sheepish smile making its way to her face.

"hi," she breathed out.

you tilted your head. "hi?"

she grabbed a plastic bottle from her bag and took a few gulps of water, letting out a relieved sigh after hydrating herself. she turned to face you.

"i'm so sorry for interrupting you. i'm yunjin, by the way, but you can call me jen."

amused, you pulled out a chair for her, gesturing for her to take a seat, to which she grinned and thanked you for before sitting down.

"it's not a problem," you reassured her, "why'd you do it though?"

her cheeks flushed, and she looked away briefly. 'cute,' you think.

"well, long story short... i lost a bet against one of my friends," she giggled, "and was trying to escape from my fate.")

you two hit it off after that, and soon you had started waiting for yunjin's shift to end so you could see her. after numerous ranting sessions with yizhuo and after 4 months, she was now your girlfriend. it's now been 8 months and you think it's safe to say she's the best you've ever had.

a loud clattering of what seemed to be things falling to the ground followed by an "i'm okay!" from yunjin woke you from your train of recollection. grabbing your phone, you exited the connected bathroom and opened the bedroom door to see the girl you were just thinking about, surrounded by a few books that have fallen to the floor.

"...oops?" she laughed, picking the fallen books up and putting them back onto the shelf. "ready to go, y/nnie?"

interlocking your hands, you nodded and let her lead you out of your shared apartment and to her car. it was still dark outside. she opened the door for you, then going around to the driver's seat and putting on a playlist you two made, titled 'youngluv' with a heart at the end.

the car ride was spent in comfortable silence, her hand over yours on the armrest. you asked where you were going once, and all she replied with was, "you'll see."

after a good 15 minutes, yunjin parked the car and opened the door for you once again. you followed her to the trunk where you're met with a picnic basket and blanket.

"surprise!"

you gasped, looking to your girlfriend, who only had a cheeky grin on her face.

"jen, what's this for?" you asked, worrying that you forgot an anniversary or a birthday.

she hummed in response. "nothing, really. i just felt like it. and i thought you'd like it."

"you're so sweet, jen. i love it," you say, grabbing the blanket from the car. yunjin got the basket. your eyes softened when she looked towards you with bright eyes.

you both carried the things from the car to a nice grassy spot overlooking the sea. the blanket is spread and you set the basket on top of the soft fabric. yunjin ran back to the car and retrieved a bouquet of flowers from the backseat, presenting it to you with a bright smile.

she bowed dramatically. "for you, m'lady."

"why, thank you kind miss," you giggled, taking the flowers and smelling them. "they're beautiful."

"only the best for my one and only."

you laughed, eyes crinkling up into crescents, and yunjin takes a second to admire your smile.

"i only receive the best from my knight in shining armor!"

you set the flowers down while yunjin took out tupperware containers out from the basket. she opens them one by one, allowing you to see what she's packed for the day. your eyes sparkled at the cut strawberries, and you almost drooled at the sight of your favorite sandwiches made by yunjin.

"does it look good?" she asked. you brought your attention to the girl, who picked up a piece of strawberry and holds it up to your lips.

"it does," you say, your mouth automatically opened and she feeds it to you.

the sweetness of the fruit was a welcome surprise to your taste buds. you haven't had anything since you were abruptly woken up, and the fruit was a nice way to wash out the minty flavor of your toothpaste.

you squeal at the taste, and take another piece of strawberry to feed to your lover.

"wow. i think that's the best strawberry i've ever had, seriously."

"you're lying."

"i'm not!"

you're in the middle of taking a bite of your sandwich when yunjin nudges your shoulder. raising your eyebrow, you follow her pointed finger until widening your eyes at the sight of the sunrise.

in awe, you put down your sandwich and turned to watch the sky being painted varying shades of red, orange, and yellow.

"the sun looks like an egg yolk," the older girl stated. you smiled and nudged her shoulder. she returned your smile and tried to defend herself. "what? i'm right. it looks like a sunny side up egg."

"you're right," you say, and lean your head on her shoulder. "it does look like an egg."

yunjin rests her head on top of yours. "do you know why i woke you up so early and prepared all this?"

you shook your head. she hummed.

"i remember you telling me about this dream you had. i think it was after our three month anniversary."

("morning, jen."

"good morning, sunshine! sleep well?"

you hugged the girl from behind, wrapping your arms around her waist from where she was standing at the kitchen counter. she was brewing a cup of coffee for the two of you for the morning.

"yeah. i had a dream," you said.)

"you said, 'we went on a picnic, and we were feeding each other strawberries. you also packed those sandwiches of yours that i love, and we sat there just watching the sunrise. it was really sweet, i'd love to have that in real life too.'"

you turned your gaze to yunjin. "you remember all that? word for word?"

she fed you another piece of strawberry to close your gaping mouth, and nodded. "i've been planning it for months, waiting for a free space in our schedules for this."

confused, you get up from her shoulder when she reaches for a small box in the picnic basket you thought was empty. when she opens the box in front of you, you let out a gasp of astonishment.

inside were a pair of silver rings, engraved with your initials and the date of the day you first met on the inside.

"yunjin, these are..." she interrupted you, "promise rings."

"i wanted to make this date perfect, so i contacted one of my old friends whose family owns a jewelry store, and got these custom made for us. aren't they amazing?"

you looked into her deep, brown eyes, and took the ring engraved with your initials and slipped it onto her ring finger.

"they're gorgeous, my love."

she gleamed, and slipped the other ring onto your ring finger.

"i'm glad you like them."

you rested your head back onto yunjin's shoulder and interlocked your fingers together.

the rest of the morning was spent finishing all the snacks your girlfriend packed, and taking pictures of each other and the scenery around you, laughs and kisses shared under the golden sunlight shining upon the two of you.

if one was focusing enough, one might be able to see two glints of rings shining from the distance.

a/n : first public post ... this was so fun to write + i thought i'd feed the yunjinators not my best work but i wanted to put it out :)

[dazed--xx]

🌘Rewriting Destiny (teaser) 🌒

Member: Duke! Chan x reader

Word count: 813

Trigger warnings: ANGST, Death (FL), psychological, trauma, poisoning, parental neglect/abuse, arranged marriage, anxiety, Nobility, engagement at a young age, regression, murder, revenge, mentions of magic, PTSD, manipulation, regretful ML, Resentment, betrayal, classism, 17th century ideals, homophobia(mentions), SOME!historical accuracy, LOTS! of historical inaccuracies, BREAK UP!, grief, mourning, denial, failure to let go, etc…

A/N: so I'm still transferring this story from my notebook onto tumblr but I wanted to get y'all excited for the new story so here is a little teaser of the story and don't worry its not too big of a spoiler 😂🤪

The family she had married into had lost use for her...

Y/Ns blood ran cold as she came to the realization. The move to the annex, the maids becoming more and more ruthless, and the lack of guards around her annex becoming more frequent. Her time is slowly coming to an end. She wondered if there was a point to all of this. Would there be a point in running? Her mother would hunt her down and skin her alive if she did. ‘Die a respected Dutchess rather than run and be a divorced beggar’ she could hear her mother say. Y/N watches as the blue clear sky fades into a bright purple and orange hue.

A knock on her door pulls her attention away from her thoughts. “Yes?” She calls monotonously. “The Duke is in the receiving room, My lady.” Area calls softly. Y/N's eyebrows furrow in confusion. “My lady?” Area calls once again when she doesn't reply. “I-Im coming! I apologize, Aera.” Y/N replies as she shakily lifts herself from her seat. The whole walk to the receiving room Y/N worried.

Why was he here? He's never visited of his own accord. What could be happening? Would he cast her out himself? A petite hand grips her own pulling her out of her thoughts. Y/N stares at the owner, as Aera gives her a comforting smile. Y/N lets out a sigh, the butler pulls open the door. She hesitates for a moment, it had been a year—one full year, since she had last seen her husband. A lot could change in a single year. She feared how her husband had changed; it was never good for her. She entered the room, her heart sank into her stomach. There he sat, at the head of the room. A flurry of maids standing about waiting on baited breath for his every command. His hair was no longer the clean-cut style but overgrown, sitting raggedly over his forehead and disheveled. Evidence of his bath dripping onto his loose black shirt. He sat a scowl on his plush lips as he sipped his tea. “To what do I owe the honor, Your grace?” Y/N questioned monotonously. “Should I have a reason to visit my dear wife?” He states smugly as he places his tea on the table in front of him. “Especially when I do not receive her greetings after a year-long monster-hunting expedition and come to discover she no longer lives in the same house as me?” Y/N stares at him in bewilderment and confusion. “Your grace?” She stammered “Please, take a seat” He gestured to the loveseat in front of him, his face no longer containing any emotion.

Y/N sits nervously as she begins to question her husband. “I apologize, but what do you mean? I’ve received your letter and followed your instructions.” Chan furrowed his eyebrows as his ears perked up “What letter?” Y/N's attention is pulled away from him by the slight clink of a teacup being placed on the table in front of her. Y/N's eyes remained focused on the maid for a moment, she couldn't quite put her finger on it but something felt…off. “Have you gone deaf in the past 5 minutes?” Chan questions frustratedly. Y/N shakes her head taking hold of the teacup and taking a sip. “No, I apologize. I've not been feeling well today” Y/N states calmly. Her throat begins to feel a small burning sensation. “What letter? When did you receive a letter from me?” Chan asks stoically. Y/N coughs slightly “My apologies, I received your letter about one months time ago” She takes another sip of tea trying to alleviate the growing discomfort. Chan stares at her with his eyebrows raised “And you are sure it was addressed from me?” her throat begins to burn incessantly. Her eyes widen as her mouth fills with a coppery tast as she coughs again.

“My lady?!?!” Area exclaims worriedly “Y/N?!”

Only then does Y/N make the connection. The maid—She works in the main manor, and she’s Kari’s personal maid. Y/N stares at the teacup in her hand, dropping it in a panic. Her eyes meet Chan’s for a moment. He sat stoically, but his eyes never once left her. Y/N rushes to her feet, reaching out for her personal maid “Aera!” She calls. Her tone gurgles and hoarse as crimson cascades out of her mouth. Her legs give way beneath her as she feels arms around her. The room begins to grow blurry as she feels the life fading from her body.

No…No not yet, please God! Don't let me die! I didn't get away…I-I was never happy please! She prays God please let me be happy. “If I could do it all over again…Id have never married you. My biggest regret was walking down that aisle…” She croaks as everything fades to black.

Taglist: @yangbbokari @lovesunshinefelix @oddracha @msauthor @azazelstays @rylea08 @skzfelixlove @blondechannie @moonchildlv @kibs-and-bits @5starlee @pnutbutter-n-j-elyy @lizzetmv @hwanriri

[minniethemoocherda]

Stay With Me

A/N: I cannot thank you all enough for all the support you guys have given me in response to my Morpherine fics! It has been completely insane especially all your incredible comments as well as all the amazing art over on tumblr! If it wasn't for you guys then I probably wouldn't feel as inspired to keep writing these fics so again thank you all so much!!!! Xxxxxxx

Ao3

FF.net

"NOOOOO!" Morph screamed as they woke up to find themselves sitting in a puddle of their own sweat and gloop.

They screamed again their bedroom door was broken down.

"What's wrong?" Logan demanded, claws drawn and body tensed ready to pounce.

"You giving me a fucking heart attack!" Morph cried, firing a pillow across the room.

Logan slashed through the first, but the second that Morph had launched a moment later hit him square in the face.

Morph was too riled up to feel any satisfaction at that fact.

"What are you even doing here?" Morph asked, feeling their body finally fully solidify back to its normal shape under the fabric of their oversized t-shirt.

"I heard you talkin' in your sleep." Logan grumbled.

"From all the way on the other side of the mansion?" Morph said pointedly, since they both knew that Morph knew that Logan's super-hearing didn't work that well.

That was when Morph realised that Logan was still wearing his uniform despite the fact that it was- Morph checked the alarm clock besides them- three o'clock in the morning.

"Do you want to tell me why you're not in bed?" Morph asked.

"No." Logan replied.

"Do you want to go back to bed?"

Logan sat himself in front of the remains of the doorway, watchful eyes glaring into the corridor outside.

"No."

"Do you want to come to bed?" Morph asked, which was something that if it were not three o'clock in the morning, Morph would never have asked.

After a moment's pause Logan again replied "No."

Morph sighed. The adrenaline of waking up from a nightmare and having their room being broken into was wearing off and now they just wanted to go back to sleep.

So they grabbed the duvet, sheets and blanket from their bed and carried them over to where Logan was apparently determined to stay on guard all night.

"What're you doin'?" Logan grumbled as Morph arranged the bedsheets around him.

"We are having a sleepover." Morph stated. "And I'm getting the pillow since you broke my other one."

Morph lay down on the duvet they'd placed on the floor, facing away from Logan into their room. The Wolverine still had his claws out but he didn't otherwise complain as Morph threw one of the sheets over the pair of them.

After a long time, long enough for Morph to think they might have made a mistake, Logan growled out a sigh.

"After we heard about Genosha I... I couldn't...I've been patrolling the halls all night-I just... I can't loose anyone else I care about." Logan growled, grief stumbling his words.

Slowly so as not to startle him, Morph sat back up. Logan was still facing away from them, never one to let other's see his weaknesses, but by now they had become experts at reading The Wolverine's behaviour. And they knew from the forceful shivers raking his body that Logan was literally biting back tears.

In that moment Morph would have done anything to help. But without the ability to change reality, there was little they could do. But that didn't mean that there was nothing.

Morph placed their hand on Logan's shoulder, his muscles taunt to the point Morph was worried they might snap. They squeezed their hand, hoping to share their own grief and to shoulder some of it for him.

Morph had never been on this side of loosing an X-men before. A stab of guilt as sharp as The Wolverine's claws buried its way into their stomach, at the thought that their own death could have caused the same amount of pain.

When they had learnt about Gambit's death, the only comparable pain Morph had felt was when they themselves had died. The concept that they would never again share each other's love for cooking or that they would never loose another heavily rigged card game, was impossible to comprehend. They weren't as close to Gambit as they could have been, however, as the only other openly queer person on the team, there had been a special connection between the two of them.

And Morph might not have shared the same history with Magneto that the other's had. The only reason they'd had to hate to him was that he was a generally shitty person who'd done some pretty shitty things. But when Morph had offered to take the team to Sinister's lair, he had been kind to them, making it clear that they did not have to if it brought back too many bad memories. And because of that, they couldn't help but grieve for him too.

And if Logan could finally open up, then it was only fair that Morph did the same.

"I.. I was dreaming... about that night."

They both knew what night Morph was talking about. The one where Morph was about to watch The Wolverine die and they sacrificed themselves to save him. Except in their dream there were too late. They lost him. Just like they lost Magneto. Like they lost Remy.

Because whilst being under Sinister's control was hell on earth, they would suffer through it all again if it meant that Logan was alive to lie beside them.

"I ain't lettin' nothin' get past me." Logan promised, finally turning to them. The grief was still there, it would probably never fully go away, but the pain that had been etched into the grooves of his skin, had been transformed into a steely determination.

"I know." Morph smiled, even after everything, unable to stop the fluttering if their heart at the sight of Logan's protectiveness directed at them. "And I'm not letting anything get past me either."

Feeling emboldened, from where their hand had been placed on Logan's shoulder, Morph traced his collar bone until their hand cupped the back of his neck.

"But even if you don't plan on sleeping, I have it on the trusted authority of my ex-therapist, that just lying down can help. So please, lay down for me." Morph's smile turned into a smirk. "I'll even let you share the pillow."

Logan blinked before shaking his head and snorting a smirk of his own.

"Alright, you win this one bub." He conceded, finally putting his claws away as he allowed Morph to pull him down to the pillow.

Morph reluctantly let go as they turned away from Logan to face the inside of their room, whilst The Wolverine took after his namesake and proceeded to nestle himself a den out of the bedsheets.

Now Morph hadn't really thought about the physics of sharing a pillow when they'd made the offer, as usual too preoccupied with making a joke to think about the consequences of opening their big mouth.

Because Logan's back was now placed firmly against theirs and the thin layer of his uniform was doing little to hide the solid layer muscle or stop the furnace level heat that his body was projecting. And due to his previous shuffling, the bottom of Morph's t-shirt had ridden up so that the sliver of skin between their briefs and their shirt could feel the full heat of Logan's body. It wasn't as if they hadn't touched the other before, But never that part of their body and even though the exposed skin was barely a few inches, Morph felt near naked at the touch.

They had no idea how they were supposed to go to sleep now. But eventually they must have.

Because next time Morph opened their eyes morning sun was beaming through their bedroom windows. At least that was where they assumed the light was coming from, as all they could see was the sleeping face of The Wolverine.

For a moment, Morph thought that they were still dreaming. Until they felt the breeze of Logan's breathe against the expanse of skin where their nose would have been.

As Morph blinked away sleep, they realised that the groves of anger and pain that Morph thought had been permanently etched onto Logan's face were relaxed, not completely gone but as close to peaceful as he could get.

They also realised that Logan's limbs were wrapped around their body like a koala in a tree as though he was afraid that if he didn't hold on tight enough he would fall. As a result Morph's hands, which had been trapped between the two of them, were braced against Logan's chest. Through the soft fabric of his costume, Morph could feel the individual bristles of his hair and under that the beating of his heart.

Perhaps they had died again, except this time they'd ended up in heaven instead of hell. That was the only logical explanation they could think of for why Logan would be holding them so close.

Well if this was their fate then Morph was happy to accept it, not that they were able to escape The Wolverine's grasp even if they wanted to. So with one last lingering look at the soft strokes of Logan's face, Morph drifted back off to sleep.

[m4ttsturn]

my brother's best friend (pt 1)

pt 2 pt 3 pt 4

pairing: matt sturniolo x y/n

summary: over the years you find yourself falling more in love with your brother's best friend.

warnings: none yet

this is the first story I've ever written, so sorry if it's bad. anyway, hope you guys enjoy.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

(the first day i saw him)

"mom!" I ran down the stairs. "yeah, what do you need?" "where's Nate? he said he would go to the movies with me over an hour ago." I was beginning to get upset, Nate promised that he would take me to see Spider-Man Homecoming with him. "I'm not sure, he said he would be home by 5" she responded. I let out a heavy sigh before walking out of the kitchen.

I went into the living room and sat on the couch, aimlessly scrolling on my phone. I watched as the minutes on the clock slowly ticked by, my eyes flicking to the front door every few seconds. it had been 3 hours before Nate had finally showed up, laughing as he walked through the door. three boys followed close behind him.

"dude that movie was so good" Nate said as he kicked off his shoes. "yeah, I still can't believe the way Spider-Man saved the Avenger's plane" one of the other boys spoke. I coughed loudly drawing the attention of my brother and his friends in the entryway. making eye contact with Nate, his face flashing with realization. "oh shit, y/n I'm so sor-" Nate tried to speak, but I stood up abruptly off the couch walking to my room and slamming the door.

the second I closed the door I could feel my eyes watering. it was one thing for Nate to blow of our plans because his practice ran late or something, but for him to go without me even though we had planned this out ever since the trailer came out, hurt. especially since he went with three people I've never met instead.

I jumped onto my bed, burying my face into the pillows. I could hear four sets of footsteps approaching my bedroom before someone knocked on the door. I knew it was Nate because he used the secret knock combination we came up with in order to tell if it was each other or our parents knocking. "go away Nate" my voice was muffled by the pillow. Nate had opened the door anyway, "y/n look I'm sorry, I totally forgot that we were planning to go to the movies today" I turned to face him when he spoke "yeah, yeah whatever Nate."

I glanced around him, taking in the appearance of his friends, each looking similar, but I could tell the differences once I looked a little longer. I made eye contact with the boy who was standing behind them all, almost not visible. I blushed and turned my head away so none of them could see it. "you can go, you obviously want to hang out with these people more than me anyway." Nate gave me a sad expression before walking out of my room, closing the door behind him. as I listened to the sounds of footsteps furthering from my door I decided to read a book instead of wallowing around.

the next time I looked at the clock it read 12:37 am. I decided that I might as well call it a night and changed into my pajamas, which consisted of a tank top and a pair of women's boxers. assuming that Nate's friends had gone home by now, I didn't bother to put on something more presentable as I left my room to grab a glass of water.

when I walked into the kitchen I was met with three pairs of eyes on me, with Nate being in the bathroom. "oh, you guys are still here" I uttered as I went to grab a glass. ''yep, seems like it" the one with longer hair spoke. my back was to them as I filled up the cup with water from the fridge. once finished I turned around to face the three boys. "look I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude, its just that Nate promised me he would take me to see that movie months ago. anyway I'm y/n." holding out my hand to them. The one with a nose ring takes it first "Nick" he shook my hand. "I'm Chris" the one with long hair spoke, dapping me up. "and you?" I turned to the last boy, realizing it's the one that I locked eyes with earlier. "Matt" he smiled slightly as he took my hand. my face flushed feeling the electricity buzzing through my fingertips.

"okay well nice to meet you guys, but I'm off to bed. tell Nate that I said he better take me to see that movie tomorrow, I don't care if he just watched it." "will do" Chris spoke, Matt and Nick nodded along. I headed back towards my room and closed the door, still thinking about the feeling of Matt's hand on mine. "well this is going to be a problem" I mumbled to myself before shutting off the light and snuggling under my covers.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

Nate had brought the triplets over again, many times over the next few years. each time my crush on Matt grew a little stronger. besides that I had actually gained a friendship with all of them.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

a/n: I'm probably going to move this story on pretty quickly I just wanted to get a little backstory out first.

let me know if there is anything I can do to write better, criticism is appreciated

[cottoncandy-cult]

Babysitting

I used a wheel to determine which guys I'd write for~

Intro:

"So…Why do you have a stranger's kid?…" (Y/n)'s lover stared blankly at her; a singular eyebrow quirked as he watched how she cradled a sleeping child to her chest. "One of my friends amongst the seamstresses is having to babysit her nephew because her sister is ill, since I've already finished all my commissions I offered to watch him for her." She giggled, gently brushing her fingers over the child's chubby cheeks. Her lover seemed skeptical about toting a kid around the castle, but because of how much fun she seemed to be having he had been willing to just let it happen.

Shingen

The large male chuckled from where he sat next to (Y/n), sipping his tea as he watched his lover settle the baby in her lap so that he was sitting up with his back against her torso. She was currently entertaining the baby with a puppet his aunt had brought from home for him, she was so focused on the giggling baby that she hadn't noticed Shingen's loving stare. At first, he wasn't sure about having an infant in the castle, but (Y/n) had handled every moment like a champ. Even the infant's cries hadn't been enough to frazzle her, instead she went about soothing him with a smile. The scene was enough to make him think, he had been with (Y/n) for some time now and since they were officially married the next logical step was a family. It wasn't something he had put much thought into previously, but seeing his wife playing with and taking care of this baby was enough to have him confronting himself over his own thoughts and feelings of the future. Shingen didn't come out of these thoughts until (Y/n) moved to sit beside him, the little baby giggling happily as its tiny hand grabbed hold of his sleeve. With a warm smile and large gentle hands, Shingen lifted the baby up to his level. "Not even 3 years old and you're a lady killer, what are you parents gonna do with you?" The baby giggled loudly as Shingen gently bounced him up and down, (Y/n) taking the moment of freedom to snag a skewer of mochi and begin digging into her own snack. "He really is adorable; his parents must have amazing genetics." (Y/n) giggled, watching her husband play with the baby boy was she ate her snack. She couldn't help but focus on her lover's grinning face, she took a good hard look at his features as she did her best to imagine him as a baby. She'd be lying if she claimed to have never thought about having a family with him, many early mornings were spent getting ready together and wondering how things would change when they had a child of their own. She couldn't help but gaze at the love of her life, wondering what he had looked like as a baby. Given how big Shingen was, she was confident he was the chubbiest of babies. A thought that made her cheeks flush as she smiled, the thought of having a chubby baby just made her happy.

Of course, Shingen had similar thoughts, especially when they walked through the Castel town and the children would recognize his goddess. The way they get so excited, wanting nothing more than to play and talk with the woman he loved. Sometimes he found himself daydreaming, wondering when the day would come that he'd be looking up from his desk to find his dear wife nurse the fruit of their labors. He's already worked out a few designs for some baby furniture, wanting to make it himself so he knew it was made right. He and his wife had discussed the baby furniture of the future before, the things she described gave him a lot of inspiration. "He's quite small, I was almost afraid to hold him at first." Shingen chuckled, resting the little boy on his leg and gently bouncing him. The large man couldn't help but chuckle as the little boy squealed happily, tiny hands gripping Shingen's sleeves as he bounced comfortably. "i know, it's been so long since I last babysat. When I first saw him, I was almost surprised he wasn't smaller, I forget sometimes they aren't as small as dolls." She giggled, reaching over to gently brush her hand against the thin layer of hair on the little boy's head affectionately. "Perhaps it's my height, but all babies seem absolutely tiny to me." Shingen chuckled, watching her give the boy some affection as she ate. "Probably, you are bigger than most other grown men so I can only imagine how little he must look to you." She giggled, putting down her skewer as she moved closer to Shingen and leaned into his side. She wrapped her arms around one of his, her head resting on his shoulder as she closed her eyes with a soft smile. Shingen could only chuckle, the little boy leaning back against his chest as he seemed to finally tucker himself out. "Now that's a good idea…" Shingen's low voice rumbled in his chest as he spoke softly, gently shifting the little boy to rest in his arm. "Since you finished your snack, why not come here and join me for a nap. The weather is wonderful." Shingen opened his arm, leaning back against the wall as his dear wife smiled at him and shook her head in mock-shame. "I suppose a nap won't hurt." She moved closer to him, slipping under his arm now and snuggled into him as she rested her head on his chest. Shingen had the boy cradled on his lap, leaning against his torso comfortably. It didn't take long for (Y/n) to sleep, Shingen had stayed awake a bit longer though. He wanted to enjoy the sight of holding his lover like this, looking down on the boy and that was how he KNEW it was about damn time he spoke to his wife about starting their family.

Kanetsugu

Kanetsugu stood speaking before a crowd of other vassals, it was a pretty standard meeting so why were these men staring at the man of the house? Because sat on his hip as he spoke was a 3-year-old girl, she was awake but quite content with the gentle bouncing and the sound of Kanetsugu's voice. His wife had to run into town to buy some stuff, so he had offered to watch the little girl since he had nothing to do after this meeting was over with. The little girl had been absolutely smitten with Kanetsugu, lighting up every time she saw him in a way similar to how his wife seemed to brighten whenever he'd come home at the end of the day. It made Kanetsugu chuckle whenever he saw it, this little girl reminded him of both his wife and his younger siblings. He took great part in raising his siblings, he remembered when they were all little like this and those memories were quite dear to him. At the end of the meeting Kanetsugu made his way to the kitchen, paying no mind to the odd stares he got and the whispers that followed him down the hall. He wanted to get the little girl a snack, so he planned to fix her some peaches since they were soft and easy to eat. On his way there he noticed his lover on her way down the hall. She was coming from the direction of their room, meaning she had dropped off her shopping. The young woman's face lit up; he couldn't help but give a slight smile at how she rushed up to him with her own wide grin. "I take it the meeting is over? Thanks for watching her while I ran into town." (y/n) smiled, reaching out to playfully poke the little girl's side and listen to her giggle. They exchanged the little girl, who had smuggled into (Y/n)'s chest. No doubt the woman was a bit more comfortable to lay on, for obvious reasons. "I was on my way to the kitchen to get her a snack, so it's perfect timing on your part. It'll be easier than cutting a peach one handed." He gently took her hand, since getting married, he had begun doing this any time they were together. She was his wife, something he was proud of and more than willing to display. "Food sounds good, lunch should be coming round soon. So hopefully she'll be done eating before then and we can eat without too much trouble." (Y/n) smiled up at Kanetsugu, the little girl resting on her arm and curled against her chest. She was sucking on her thumb, content with the steady sway of the woman's walk cycle.

"Maybe if we're lucky we can put her down for a nap after her snack, she hasn't had one today yet so it's about that time anyways." Kanetsugu lead his lover to the kitchen, his free hand running through his own hair as he found his gaze wandering away from the sky as he took in the sight of his lover with her friend's baby. It was such a domestic sight, something that made an odd feeling stir in him. He had never actually thought about it in depth, he knew he wanted a family, but he had never put a whole lot of thought into it. But confronted with the glimpse before him, it was like something was stirring awake. He no longer just wanted a family with her, he needed one. The thought of having evidence of their love made his heart speed up, a sort of primal shift growing inside of him at the thought of her having his child. It wasn't just animalistic desire though; his protective instinct was starting to twitch awake. To have a family with his wife, that would truly be his peace. It was like a new goal came into focus; one he couldn't wait to discuss with her later once the little girl had gone home with her mother for the night. So, for now he had to settle for gently squeezing her hand, giving her a fond gaze as he watched her talk about her experience at the market. When her gaze suddenly caught his, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. Leaving her flustered as he released her hand and stepped through the threshold and into the kitchen. She stood at the doorway, watching him with curiosity as she failed to fight the love-struck smile that crossed her face when watching the man, she loved prepare food for the little girl in their care.

Motonari

Motonari watched his wife with a grumpy pout, on her lap was a 4-year-old that had proven to be the bane of this man's existence. This little boy would not accept anyone but her, and God forbid Motonari be allowed to hug or touch his wife. The boy didn't throw a hissy fit, oh no, worse yet the little boy would hold his palm out to Motonari with a firm but docile "No." With the most expressionless stare Motonari has seen in his life, he hadn't been able to so much as hug his wife with this little boy around. The kid refused to be held by anyone else, he was always giving Motonari such a blank faced stare and it never failed to make the man laugh out of mild frustration. The more he thought about it, the more ridiculous he felt. He was competing with a kid for his wife, and it wasn't even his kid. At the end of the day, this kid goes home with someone else, so there is NO competition. Each time Motonari reminded himself of this, rolling his eyes at the jealous side that was near desperate to hold her hand. Though there was some odd part of him that was satisfied with watching his wife interact with this little boy, even when he was fussy, she was calm as can be when handling him. Plus, there was the pride he took in having a wife so loved by so many people, she was the prize jewel out of all his treasures. Currently the two were waiting for the little boy's aunt, (Y/n)'s friend, to come and pick up the little boy for the night. The sun was an hour or two from setting, and he was doing his best to be patient as he had a staring contest with the little boy. At least until the child reached out to him, making a grabby motion that had (Y/n) lighting up. "Aw, he wants you to hold him!" She was excited, moving closer to Motonari, who for just a moment was panicking, he did not have a plan for this particular option. So he had let his wife lead him into holding the little boy on his lap, the boy sat with his back to Motonari's chest. His little head was leaned back on Motonari's collarbone, he still had one hand holding onto (Y/n)'s finger so she had to sit against Motonari's side. Seizing his chance, he slid his free arm around her waist as his other was draped over the boy's stomach to keep him steady.

"I guess you respecting his boundaries earned his trust, that's so sweet." She smiled brightly, nuzzling Motonari's shoulder in a way that never ceased to make him melt inside. This was a situation he had never imagined in his life, the male having never actually thought about having kids of his own. Sure, he knew kids existed, but he never thought about HIS kids existing. This whole situation felt so surreal, looking down at his lover and this child no longer felt real. All of a sudden it felt dreamlike, as if he was discovering something for the first time. A wide array of emotions overwhelmed him, from a strange anxiety to what could only be described as an intense contentment. He had come a long way from the person he was when he and his wife first met, but even still to have such a large discovery out of nowhere was almost startling. He hadn't felt like this since he first realized he truly loved his wife; it was a feeling that could be described with the word emotion. It was so much at once, and yet he felt calm in an odd way. His face was flaming, silently staring at his lover as he processed everything. Of course she had noticed his stare, she had trying speaking to him, but he never responded and now she was simply flustered by the look he was giving her. It was almost innocent, the flustered look mixed with confusion and surprise. Leaning forward she placed a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose, suddenly bursting the bubble he had previously been absorbed in. It took every ounce of self-control in him not to jump, he had already embarrassed himself enough today. The hand that had been around her waist came up, pulling her close and tucking her head into the crook of his neck as he tried to hide his flustered state. These new realizations had him feeling energized in an odd way, he simply had to have her close right now. He knew the look on his face was probably quite out of character for him, and he was embarrassed to admit how little control he actually had over his current behavior. He wanted to hide his emotional state, and what better way to do that then basking in the affection and the touch of his wife that he had wanted all day. Once the boy was returned, he planned to spend the rest of the day and night with his wife in their room. He wanted only her presence, only her voice and scent. Only her.

Masamune

(Y/n) currently sat at a banquet between her boss Nobunaga and her lover Masamune, across from her was Mitsuhide and Hideyoshi. Meanwhile in her lap was a 1-one-year old little girl, the niece of a friend that was taking care of her sister until the woman's husband got home from work. Because of that (Y/n) had brought the baby to the banquet, it was fairly late, and the baby was full from where (Y/n) had taken the baby home long enough to eat and give the mom a chance to see her. The little girl had been quite content after eating, and so now she was happily babbling away at Keiji while Masamune fed his wife a bit of rice. "I shouldn't be surprised you volunteered for such a task; you always do manage to find the most amusing situations." Mitsuhide chuckled from across the woman, drinking some sake and letting a servant refill it. "She was a little fussy at first, but once she got comfortable with us it got a bit easier. Her aunt should be back to get her soon. She's just waiting for the woman's husband to come home to take care of his wife." Masamune chuckled, sitting close to his lover's side as he'd raise bites for her to take and fed her her meal before he had even touched his. He had spent most the day doing paperwork, which left (Y/n) to bear the brunt of the child's care. He wanted to give her a small break and help out now that he wasn't busy, plus he had been wanting to give her some love all day. She was just too cute, playing with and fawning over the baby girl currently in her arms. Looking at the little girl he could admit she was cute, but he just knew their baby would be even cuter. If he had a little girl that looked just like his wife, he'd be over the moon. In truth he wanted a larger family, something he and his lover had discussed many times. They want quite a few children; they hadn't really been trying for kids as of late but also hadn't been avoiding it either. But today made him feel it was time, seeing the way she cared for the little girl, even when she screamed and cried, had reaffirmed in him that they could do this, and it was about time to take the first steps officially.

Once his wife had finished her food he had set the chopsticks down, using one hand to hold one of her own as the other brought his cup of tea up to his lips so he could take a sip. "It seems so natural; I was worried you'd struggle with her when I first saw you in the halls this morning. But you seem to have everything under control." Hideyoshi smiled, taking a bite of some roasted vegetables while observing the baby girl in his friend's lap. Despite all the noise she almost seemed ready to fall asleep, the group laughing at how her tiny head bobbed before she finally gave up and completely rested across the woman's lap as her haori functioned as a makeshift cover. "I won't lie it was hard to be calm sometimes, but I eventually found a good rhythm for cycling through what she wanted or needed until I could find what I needed. Then it just kinda got easier to tell what she was wanting, plus after visiting her mom to drink her fill she's been quite content and a lot less fussy." (Y/n) giggled, gently rubbing the baby's stomach with her free hand. She watched the baby sleep with a fond gaze, her mind wandering to places that her observant friends could easily predict. For Nobunaga, Mitsuhide, and Hideyoshi; it was the same look Masamune got any time they noticed him watching her interact with the little girl. Oh yes, they knew it was only a matter of time before they had children running about the castle whenever the pair would come to visit from Aoba. "Well, at least you'll have practice for when you and Lord Masamune have a child. It'll be quite the sight to see." Mitsunari spoke openly with a fond smile on his face, and as flustered as it made her, (Y/n) couldn't fight the smile she felt forming on her face. She'd be lying if she said taking care of the little girl made her wonder how things would be when they DID have their own child, she'd love to have a little boy that looked just like her husband. Though she had known for a while she wants more than one child, as aware as she is of what childbirth is like in this era she wouldn't miss the chance to have the family she desires with the man she loves. "You guys will be the first we tell when I fall pregnant, I promise Mitsunari." She giggled some, at least until she felt Masamune's arm wrap around her waist. "It'll be more than that, we'll be staying here during your pregnancy that way I can be sure of your safety. Plus, Ieyasu will be a boon to have on standby." The blonde let out an indignant snort but said nothing back. The fussy blonde being surprisingly quiet about Masamune's desire to have him care for Hime in such a state, and none of the other warlords seemed bothered at the idea of a pregnant woman waddling around the castle. Something that both embarrassed (Y/n) and made her feel overjoyed, as she knew she had everyone's support when it came time for this new step in her life.

Kenshin

Everyone stared intently at the trio during a war council, sitting in his usual place was Kenshin. And as per usual, he was the one making a scene. In his lap sat his wife, odd but not entirely unexpected. And then on her lap was a little boy, a 4-year-old she had volunteered to watch during the day for her friend who was caring for an ill family member. The group had been stuck at the hip since the little boy's arrival, though at first Kenshin had been a little jealous and that had been why he was being more openly affectionate than usual. But it was less than 2 hours before his reasoning shifted, some part of him deeply enjoyed watching his wife happily interact with the child. He had thought about having a family with her for many years, even before they had married. Though he had yet to put his desires into words, he didn't want to pressure her and had originally decided he'd just wait for her to approach him when she was ready. But now, while Kanetsugu went over his report for his recent observation mission, Kenshin wanted nothing more than a way to bring up his desires without pressuring his love. Starting a family was a big deal after all, he didn't want her to force herself into something she isn't ready for just to try and please him. Kenshin was staring off into the distance, his chin resting on the top of his lover's head while the little boy in her lap played with a stuffed animal. His vassals watched, absolutely astonished. Even Shingen was quite intrigued with his friend's behavior, meanwhile Kanetsugu could feel his eye twitching as he figured out long ago his Lord was barely listening, and they'd probably have to talk about this again later. Of course (Y/n) wasn't dumb, she could tell what everyone was thinking, and she did kind of feel bad for Kanetsugu. Before Kanetsugu left for his mission Kenshin had the Fearsome God of war, when he returned however he was Kenshin Lord of the bunnies. Sure, he still went to war, but he had changed in many ways. Kanetsugu could recognize the good, but he often found himself surprised at how (Y/n) brought out a childlike behavior in Kenshin.

Sometimes it made Kanetsugu want to laugh, but when his Lord is just blank face no thought staring at him in the middle of a war council, he wanted to throw something. Not that he actually would. He tried to soothe himself by observing his Lord's situation while he spoke, knowing that at least Shingen, Yukimura and Sasuke were listening. From the outside, you'd almost think they were a family. A thought that did calm the white-haired male's irritation, his Lord seemed so content. Kenshin was always quite happy when he had (Y/n) in his lap, but the addition of the child seemed to bring something out of the male. Kanetsugu didn't miss how his lord had gently pulled his wife closer, the blonde man's hand occasionally coming up to pet the little boy on the head absent mindedly. It only further reassured Kanetsugu's expectation that this is likely going to be the future, he wasn't quite sure how he was gonna handle this, but he was sure it was going to involve late night drinks with a recap of the war council. By the time Kanetsugu had come to this conclusion he had finished his explanation of the survey he had been sent on, and as he stepped back to return to his previous seat Kenshin seemed to realize that everything was over. On the outside Kenshin seemed somewhat normal, but Kanetsugu could see the slight surprise in his lord's features upon realizing he had missed the entire council. "I see, I do have a few questions, but we can discuss those later. Is there anything else that needs to be discussed?" Kenshin gazed around the room, wanting to make sure there wasn't anything left to discuss before he dismissed the meeting. When it was concluded that there was nothing else to talk about, Kenshin released everyone to go back to their daily duties. "It's almost time for lunch Kenshin, did you want to go out to eat? The weather has been nice the past few days." (Y/n) smiled, leaning back so that she rested against his chest. Her head leaned back against his shoulder, and she pressed a kiss to his cheek with a warm smile. After the door had been closed and everyone left, she let the little boy up so that he could explore the room a bit. Where the two adults sat, they could see every corner of the room and could easily monitor him. "Sure, we can make a date of it. The little one won't notice, and we can stop by a tea house for dessert after if you want." Though Kenshin didn't really like sweets, he still enjoyed the tea house atmosphere while he watched her enjoy her desserts. "You know me too well." She giggled, pressing another kiss to his cheek as they spent a few quiet moments in each other's arms. Watching over the little boy in front of them, both having only the thought of discussing family with each other at the end of the night.

[foliosgirl]

Use me

"I've heard so many things about her" said the man with the long, black hair, shaking his head and wide-eyed as I walked past the band. And although I didn't even listen to this "music", it had reached me that the singer had constantly changing "relationships".

How pathetic. I was used to people judging me, so I ignored this statement and the disdainful looks and smirking faces of the other band members at first as if I hadn't noticed.

It was actually a cool party and I know I'd said I'd ignore the stupid line, but it still fucked me off that it was okay as a man to sleep with all the women all the time, but as a woman? That made you a cheap hoe. People said at least as much about Noah as they did about me, but with him it was accepted and he was the super fucker. He wasn't my type, but he did look interesting. Tall, brown, short hair, well-trained but not too muscular, broad shoulders and an Asian touch. And countless tattoos. A lot of other women were saying that you could have a lot of fun with him. But he also grinned disdainfully in my direction when the eyes of his colleague, who was talking about me, met mine. He scrutinized me and was probably not used to someone showing no interest in him. And I wouldn't do that either. I didn't need to give confirmation to someone like that.

I didn't know if I wanted to stay here after my best friend had unfortunately already left the party. It was a warm summer's day and I felt good, just a little tired by now. The sun found its place behind the horizon, which was turning red-orange. I ordered a drink at the bar. My short, not-so-tight, light floral summer dress slipped up between my legs as I took a seat in a deckchair opposite the band. It was the only free seat. Perfect. Not.

I rolled my eyes inwardly, but actually sighed and put on my sunglasses.

"Emma?" I heard a male voice say.

"Sam?" I asked, taking off my sunglasses and smiling.

"You look good." His compliment made me blush

"So do you." I said, shocked. Sam had become so incredibly hot. Even hotter than when we were dating. Although it had been about five years since we'd last seen each other, I hadn't forgotten our kisses or our sex. He had whored me out. Our fuck relationship was more intimate than some romantic relationships.

He reached out his hand, pulled me up, then sat down in the deckchair and pulled me onto his lap.

I knew Sam was an asshole as a person by now, but I didn't care. He was like he used to be with me. I thought. He also fucked every woman he wanted to. He had charm and…did I mention he looked hot?

"Do you know the boys?" I whispered in his ear.

"Who do you mean?"

"Across from us."

"Yes. Shall I introduce you?"

"Nah," I said shaking my head, kissed Sam and then looked at Noah, who was now watching us.

His eyes narrowed. The dark-haired and probably youngest of his bandmates with puppy eyes nudged him, asked "Somebody's at home?" and laughed.

I apologized to Sam and went to the bathroom.

As I was heading back, I almost ran into Noah, who was also heading to the restroom.

"Watch out!" I grumbled.

"Watch out, YOU!" he replied, annoyed.

Our eyes met briefly. Fuck, he was hot. Although he had the door handle in his hand by now, I was sure he was looking at my ass and I was right. I saw it as I turned to the side.

"Asshole," I bitched and went back to Sam, who had picked up another chick in the short time and was talking animatedly.

'Men are just all assholes' I thought.

I just sat down on Sam's lap anyway and the other chick realized she was out of place and walked away.

"Have I ruined your next one-night stand now?" I asked with a mean undertone.

I hadn't had sex for a long time and hadn't seen Sam for a long time.

"When are you planning to leave?" I asked him. "I don't know yet. Definitely until I have a chick for tonight."

"That's why you have me," I whispered in his ear.

"I know you inside out. I want to try something new."

"Like what?"

"Well, new women. Every woman is different."

"The last time was five years ago. Do you think I'm still the innocent girl I used to be?"

"You were never innocent."

"Because you whored me out."

"No, no, no. I'm not letting you blame me for that. You had the depraved in you. I just teased it out."

"If you don't fuck me today, you're missing out," I grinned.

He stroked my shoulder gently. I was still sitting on his lap in the deckchair with my face turned towards him.

He shook his head. "I'm in the mood for a blonde today."

That fucking asshole. The way he played with me. And in my situation, where I was horny and the proof was between my legs. My cunt got wetter.

The seat next to him became free. I jumped up and sat down.

"Then don't." I said in a huff.

"Last offer for me to introduce you. Which one do you fancy?"

"None of them at all." I said flippantly and moved my straw back and forth in my almost empty glass.

"You're a bad liar."

I put my sunglasses back on and ignored Sam. I watched the boys and reached for my phone to find out the singer's name.

Noah. Nice name. But he seemed so arrogant.

I guess that was it for today.

I put my sunglasses on my forehead and took one last look at him before I left the party.

Frustrated, I opened Tinder and swiped as I slowly walked down the hill. Everything was spinning. The alcohol was kicking in and I was at a level where I seemed to lose all inhibitions.

Next to me, a car slowed down until it finally came to a halt. "Can I give you a lift?" someone called out.

"No, thanks." I said without turning around.

"Come on. You're obviously not feeling that well."

I walked up to the driver of the convertible and leaned in at the driver's door. "I'm fine." I grinned.

By nowI realized that the driver was Noah.

"Oh God." I said, rolling my eyes and turned away again. What a show-off car.

"Are you with Sam?"

"What's it to you?"

"Guess not then." he grinned slightly.

"What's it to you?"

"You're repeating yourself."

"Is it true what they say about you?"

"Is it true what they say about YOU?" he shot back.

"What do they say about me?"

"What do they say about ME?"

"You're silly." I said and went back to the other side.

"And you're bitchy."

"You're annoying."

"YOU'RE annoying."

"Stop mimicking me all the time. If you had nothing to hide you'd just answer my questions, but you just ask counter-questions, so I'm thinking my part."

"What do you think?"

After I had clearly shown him what I thought of his question, namely nothing at all and that he was annoying me, I went on without a word.

After a few minutes, I heard someone accelerate and cut me off.

"Get in the car."

"Will you finally leave me alone?"

"If you're going to puke, let me know first."

I sat down in the front passenger seat. My dress had ridden up, but I didn't care.

Before Noah shifted into gear, I caught him looking at my thighs. Or in between, I didn't know exactly.

"It's definitely true what they say about you."

"That's what I think about you too. I just want you to get home safely."

"Oh yeah, are you being a gentleman now, huh? We don't even know each other."

"So, in that state, you're easy pickings."

"For who?"

"For men who are like wild animals."

I grinned. For me, that was a compliment. And today I really would have been easy to have, but that's what I wanted. I finally wanted to have sex again and the proof was the now wet, shaved pussy between my legs. I looked at his hands during the ride. They were completely tattooed.

"I don't understand how you can get completely tattooed."

"Can you say something nice while I'm driving you home?"

"You won't leave me alone otherwise."

"Do you have tattoos?"

"In places you can't see," I grinned.

"So you disfigure yourself too."

"I didn't say you disfigure yourself. Well, although…"

"Are you always this bitchy?"

"No. I can be quite sweet…" I said and smiled sweetly.

"…But you have to earn it."

Noah grinned disparagingly.

"Why are you driving so funny? We should be right there. You're completely wrong." I picked up my cell phone.

"Oh, Tinder?"

"None of your business."

"Sure."

I started the route planner. "Turn around at the next opportunity, then turn right."

"Did you hear?"

"Please?" he asked, pretending he hadn't heard me.

I rolled my eyes.

"Can I drive?"

"Absolutely not."

"I can drive."

"Maybe, but not my car."

I think he was taking a detour just to engage me further in conversation.

"Is it true that you're always hooking up with other guys?"

"My God, yes. Are you happy now?"

"Not quite."

Irritated by his answer, but unable to say anything in response, I faltered.

"You're swiping him away? Why?"

"Not my type. Too boring."

"Who's your type? And don't answer with 'None of your business' again."

"I hear a lot about you." I distracted from the topic.

"Like what?"

"A lot of things. That you sleep with one girl a maximum of 4-5 times and then it's the next one's turn. In short: you're whoring around a lot."

"Because it's difficult to find the right one."

"Who's the right one?"

"Sweet, loyal, not out for my money or success. She should do something that has nothing to do with the music industry."

"Because?"

"It's just better if everyone leads their own professional life and someone doesn't constantly interfere because they think they know everything better."

Valid point.

He knew what he wanted. His self-confidence was sexy. I felt more and more attracted to him.

"Well, to me that sounds more like you're incapable of having a relationship."

"What can't men offer you that you're looking for?"

"Loyalty, self-confidence and respect. There's always at least one thing missing."

"Yes? Well, I know a few who are single and they would all be what you describe."

"But I'm not into your bandmates with long hair."

"Wait a minute. Only two have long hair. And I wasn't talking about them. They're all taken and don't always take loyalty very seriously."

"Are you talking badly about your bandmates right now?"

"No." Noah said, sighing and rolling his eyes.

I had caught him out. He regretted his statement. I could see it in his eyes.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone, but you can't be so naive."

He was right. I was already very mean. Somehow my mouth was talking faster than I could think.

We actually didn't speak for the last few minutes.

"You can stop here."

"We can go to my place, too."

"I thought I was a bitch?"

"You are. But I'm not giving up hope of getting to know your good side."

"I don't want to get to know anyone at the moment," I said in a more annoyed tone than I actually wanted to.

"Then why are you tindering?"

"I'm asking you. To have fun."

I got out of the car, expecting Noah to do the same, but he stayed in the car.

"What's wrong? Don't you want to go upstairs?"

"To my place if I do," Noah said coolly.

"Why?"

"I feel more comfortable like this." he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

I didn't want him to get everything he wanted, but I could tell he was serious and I didn't want to waste any time. My cunt was literally crying out for a cock and he was just there. I didn't want to miss out on the opportunity and to keep dinking now would have unnecessarily prolonged everything.

"All right then. But we'll have breakfast together tomorrow and you'll drive me to work."

"Okay."

He must have been afraid of losing control or something. Or bad experiences when he was at a woman's house.

But when we arrived at his huge house, I had a different feeling. I'm sure he wanted to show off, but then again, didn't he want someone coming after his money? That's not how things worked here in LA.

I marveled at his beautiful house, but didn't let on.

"You're very naive."

"Why?"

"This is where you live? This is your house, isn't it? And you're surprised that the women are only interested in your money and success? That's just the way it is here in L.A. You haven't lived here that long. A little tip: You could have accepted my invitation. If I were you, I wouldn't invite every woman over to my house."

"Six years. In the house for three years. Do you like it?"

I ignored this stupid question because I didn't care how wealthy he was or how famous he was. Anyway, no one with an ounce of taste would have denied that this house was beautiful. I would have fucked with him anywhere. In the kitchen, on a couch, in a one-bedroom apartment. He could have been a waiter or a dishwasher for all I cared. My eyes fell on his neck, which was completely adorned with tattoos, so I didn't recognize any particular motive. They distracted me. It made him so much more sexy than I would have ever admitted.

"Where are you from?"

"From Virginia. And you?"

"I was born and raised here and went to New York for college, then back. Now I'm 35 and thinking about moving away again."

"Why? It's nice here."

"It's not nice here at all. And the people are just fake."

"I don't think you're fake. Have a seat. What do you want to drink?"

Noah disappeared into the kitchen before I could answer. I made myself comfortable on the beige-colored, large sofa and looked after him. I wondered if he had a tattoo on his back too. If so, I couldn't see it because he was wearing a white t-shirt.

But what I did notice were his broad shoulders and his beautiful, muscular upper arms.

He pressed a glass of water into my hand. "This will be best for you."

He was more polite and I slowly realized that it was out of place to continue teasing him and asking provocative questions.

"Why don't you care what happens to me if I'm a slut who's always hooking up with some guy anyway?"

"I don't know. I know Sam. I don't think Sam is friends with really bad women."

"We're not friends."

"Then what?"

"We hooked up many years ago, that's all."

"Nothing serious?"

I shook my head. "Just fun. Sex. Lots of sex. For years. Until I moved away to study and now he doesn't care about me and doesn't even want to fuck me anymore. Everyone always wants 20-year-old chicks who've had surgery," I said, annoyed.

"You look good and I think you know that. I don't think you look old."

"I'm not actually old either." I grinned.

"But older than me and that excites me."

"Are you hitting on me right now?"

"What if it?"

"Then we can talk about it." I smiled sheepishly.

I became like a little girl: reserved and let him take control of the rest of the evening and night.

"We don't have to talk much. What are you into?"

Somehow I felt uncomfortable suddenly making myself emotionally naked in front of him like this.

"Uhm."

"Uhm what? You were so cheeky earlier and now you're suddenly so shy?"

He patted his lap.

"Give me a lap dance." He could tell I was hesitant. "Come on. I can't offer you loyalty, but you'll definitely get respect from me. But you'll also learn something about respect. You can't demand something you can't offer yourself."

His words did something to me. He seemed dominant and I didn't only loved that, I needed it. I wanted to give up control and for him to do whatever he wanted to me.

"Just don't hurt me. And no kisses"

"I'm not going to hurt you. Maybe a little. Because you were so naughty all the time."

"Music? And the right kind, please. Just not your band's noise."

Noah laughed, pulled up my dress and slapped my ass hard. He must have liked what he couldn't see before, because his subsequent laughter was filthy. Although it hurt a little, it turned me on. His whole look, his many tattoos, his body. Everything. I'd never had sex with a man who looked anything like him.

"What kind of music do you want to hear?" "Something I can give you a lap dance to."

"Hmm." he pondered. After a short time, he had chosen the song.

'If you're horny let's do it, ride it, my pony'

I was excited. Although I was always hooking up with random guys, it was different with Noah. I was inhibited.

He's just a man. He's like all men.

I pushed him down on the sofa and rubbed my ass over his lap. My dress slid up and Noah slapped my ass again.

"What was that for now?"

"Because you have a hot ass. Turn around."

I did as he asked and sat on his lap, facing him. His piercing gaze searched my eyes, but I couldn't maintain eye contact.

"Always fucking other guys and you play coy with me, huh? Why?"

He grabbed my chin with his right hand. "Fucking look at me," he said grudgingly.

Although I would never have guessed him to be like that, I liked it when he was rough. "I don't like sluts. I like good girls who are well brought up. And I'm going to have to bring you up properly."

I felt his bulge in his black pants.

"Are you ready?"

I tried to loosen up and moved my hips forward and back like I was riding him.

He held my hips firmly and I looked into his beautiful chestnut eyes. He ran his right hand into my hair and pulled me towards him to kiss me.

I stopped him immediately. "No kisses!"

His left hand began to slip the straps of my dress over my shoulders. The top of my dress fell straight down and he had a clear view of my black lace bra squeezing my breasts together.

"Fuck," he grinned. He skillfully undid the clasp of my bra, which popped right open. "Take it off! I want to see your tits."

I threw the bra on the floor, took his hands and he knew exactly what I wanted. He massaged my breasts and started licking my nipples in alternating circular motions.

"Get on your knees and open my pants."

I was amazed at his big, thick cock, which was just waiting to be freed and was literally popping out of his pants.

Before Noah could say anything, I licked the drop of pleasure from his tip. "How do you like it?"

"How do I like it? Do you really want to know?"

He pushed my head deep onto his cock. I immediately choked, pulled my head back and gasped for air.

"Probably a bit much for you, huh? Always having a big face, whoring around, but then not being able to handle a real cock. You've got a lot to learn."

I breathed through my nose and thought about how Sam had trained me to take his cock all the way down my throat.

It was easier for me not to gag quite so much now, but breathing properly was hard because Noah was fucking my mouth and holding my head at the same time. It was so kinky.

"You have such a beautiful mouth, but unfortunately you're using it wrong. Your cheeky attitude has only made me want to fuck even more.

Lean over the couch. Good girl. Stay like that." He pulled off his t-shirt and shoved it into my wet pussy with one firm thrust. "Oh God, Noah."

"Am I your god, yes?" he grinned spitefully. "Answer me!"

"You fuck me so good," I moaned.

"I can't hear you. Louder!"

I literally screamed because his cock was actually too big for me.

"If you keep being so loud, I'll shove it down your sweet little throat again. Do you want the neighbors to hear you?"

I noticed how he laughed dirty.

"You think I've never had a big cock before?" I asked cheekily.

"What do I care about other cocks? Obviously no one has fucked you really really well yet, have they?"

I shook my head. He continued to slap my ass while his left hand cupped my neck. I moaned louder. "That's a shame. When you're into getting fucked really hard, huh?"

"Keep fucking me. Don't stop."

"Eh eh. What do you say?"

"Please?"

"Was that a question?"

"Please fuck me Noah. Just like that. Don't stop."

"Good girl. Since when is your pussy so wet? Since you sat down across from us and your dress rode up? Wishing that tattooed guy would fuck you hard tonight all night, huh? I saw you looking over there. Did you think I was into vanilla sex and romance? If a woman is worth it maybe, but you're there to satisfy me. Right?"

"Yes, Noah," I moaned.

"You fucking L.A. bitches are killing me. You're the reason why I can't have a relationship. And now you get my cock in your sweet ass. How many have you had in your ass? Was Sam in there too? Did he fuck you well?"

I didn't answer.

"Answer me my questions."

"Maybe five cocks and yes, Sam got to do almost everything to me."

"What wasn't?"

"Cumming on my face."

"I would love to cum on your pretty face."

Noah was careful as he penetrated my ass. His right hand pampered my clitoris with circular movements. I squealed with excitement.

"Turn around. I need to see you."

Of course I obeyed him. He bent my legs, pressed them to my right side both back together at the calves and fucked me further in my ass.

"Much better like this, isn't it? Can you feel how deep he's going in?"

"Oh my god yes, Noah."

We looked deep into each other's eyes.

"Please fuck me in my cunt. Please Noah."

"I'll fuck your cunt when I feel like it, understand? If you knew how hot your ass felt, you wouldn't pull it out either." "Please Noah. Please, please fuck my cunt," I begged.

His right index finger found its way into my pussy, which was now dripping with lust. "Do you always leak like this during sex?"

"Only when I'm being fucked well."

"When was the last time?"

"Last week."

"You fucking little hoe. From now on, I'm going to fuck you when you leak. Understand?"

I agreed with a submissive nod and looked at him innocently.

"Uh huh."

Noah pulled his cock out without warning and jerked it in front of my face. I tried to lick it. "Not so greedy. Doesn't my good girl want to be fucked in her tight, wet pussy anymore, does she?"

"Yes, please fuck me. Please fuck me really hard." I begged again.

"How am I supposed to say 'no'?"

He put my legs on his shoulders and pushed me hard into my wet pussy. I leaked more and more. I could only imagine the mess I was leaving on his bright, new couch. How ironic when we were doing such flithy things. "Good girl. I know how to deal with you. Have you learned your lesson? Respect me and you'll get everything you deserve from me."

I moaned louder and finally orgasmed. "Did my good girl have fun and now you're panting? I'm far from finished with you. But I'll give you a little break."

I clawed at his hips, which continued to thrust me hard. Suddenly he pulled his cock out again and jerked it in front of me. "Open your whorish mouth."

I opened my mouth, looked him in the eye and swallowed his load. The rest landed in my face and on my tits. His load of cum was huge.

"Such a good girl. Lets me use her like that." he praised me and stroked my head. "Come on, let's go into the bathroom."

He took me by the hand into the bathroom and ran water into a large sitting bathtub, which was more like a whirlpool. "Pick a bath foam."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Bathing with you? Because it's relaxing and I need you rested."

It felt like he was owning me and I liked it. It was a bit like with Sam back then. With Sam, I had realized for the first time that I was submissive and whorish.

I tied my long, brown hair into a messi bun and sat down in the bathtub.

"Why are you always jumping from one woman to the next? Why can't you love someone?"

"You said yourself how things are in LA. How am I supposed to fall in love?"

"You're right. I feel the same way."

He stroked my thigh under the water.

"How much older than you am I?"

"Six years."

"And you think that makes that much difference?"

"It's obvious that you know what you want. And you're also submissive. I like that."

"I'm sorry I was so shitty to you earlier. I just really can't get to know anyone right now. All I want is non-committal sex. But it always has a bad taste when someone always has someone new to go to bed with."

"And people have to accept and understand that with you? You're outing yourself as incapable of having a relationship with what you're saying."

He was so right. I didn't say anything more.

"I love it when you keep your mouth shut."

Noah grinned.

"There's usually only one solution to that."

"Don't worry. In a moment you can prove again how sorry you are that you were so cheeky to me earlier. You'll make up for all your backtalk."

Noah took some shower gel in his hands, rubbed it in and massaged my shoulders.

"You're tense."

I enjoyed his massage, but broke it off after a few minutes and got out of the warm, bubble-filled tub.

"Come out." I said with a smile.

"Oh wow, never believed I'd see you smiling."

"If you don't come out, I won't be smiling for long."

He threw a towel over me from behind and dried me off.

"Why can't I kiss you?"

"Because we're just having sex. Kissing is too intimate."

"Kissing is more intimate than sex?" he asked in amazement.

"It is for me. I don't want to build a relationship. I just want to have fun, you don't need kisses for that."

"I think this is the first time I've had sex without kissing a woman."

"There's always a first time," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

Noah was deeply relaxed after the bath, changed into fresh clothes and made us snacks.

A sweet gesture that set him apart from other men. My alcohol level was now non-existent and I continued to drink water diligently.

"How do you actually know Sam?"

"Through all the parties. Not really my cup of tea. I prefer to be at home, but sometimes it just has to be. It's just L.A. You have to show up there every now and then"

I nodded in agreement.

"Were you there because of him or…?"

"No, because of my work."

"What do you do for work?"

"I'm a social media manager for a cosmetics company."

"What does that have to do with music?"

"Nothing, but we're always looking for influencers as brand ambassadors. And there are always influencers at these parties."

"Or Onlyfans girls." Noah grinned.

"I should have guessed you'd like them." I laughed. "But we don't work with them. We're looking for pretty women. Not too sexy, not too many surgeries. We are a serious brand."

I reached for the chips. Apparently we shared a mutual fondness for sour cream potato chips.

"Is this going to be a one night stand or are we going to meet again?" he asked.

"Seriously? You can't go to bed with someone more than 4-5 times anyway. You're always jumping to the next one."

"That's not true at all. I just have to be more careful than others. As soon as I notice that someone is blabbing something, I have to end it. Besides, it doesn't always work out that way."

"But it does with us?"

"Yeah, I think so. We work well together, don't we?"

"Hmmm," I agreed, humming contentedly.

I thought about all the things that I didn't realize had become essential to me. How he had slapped my ass, how he had called me a good girl, how he had pulled my hair. How he had used me like a whore.

All of this was new to me in that form and I knew I never wanted vanilla sex again.

He lay down and pulled me onto his lap. "Sit on my cock."

I carefully pulled Noah's pants down, pushed my thong to the side and slowly lowered myself onto his hard, thick cock.

"If you only knew how hot your cunt feels. So wet and so tight. It's almost eating my cock up."

I smiled at his compliment.

He massaged my breasts and looked into my eyes.

I couldn't maintain eye contact for long. I didn't want to fall in love, especially not with him. I would only be unhappy.

"Look at me."

"Noah, I can't do this."

"You have to. Be a good girl. Show me how much you enjoy it. I wanted to fuck you right when I saw you."

"Why?"

"Because I can tell you know what you want. That's sexy."

He stuck his index and middle fingers in my mouth. I licked it.

"Good girl. You just want sex, huh? You can have it. Who do you call from now on when you're horny and need a cock?"

"You."

"You're such a clever, good girl. If I could, I'd bang you every day."

His words turned me on more and more. I liked being his personal slut, but I wasn't stupid. I knew how it went with these guys. You'd have sex once and hear nothing for weeks, then suddenly you'd be written to and told to spread your legs again. I came to terms with it. Sam was finally history.

"Why did you look at me with such contempt earlier?"

"Because it fucked me off that I might not get you. And because I realized that you have a cheeky, cheeky nature. Fuck, your tits are so hot."

He lifted me off his erect cock. "Let's go to the bedroom. I've got something special planned for you."

He led the way and we walked up the stairs to his bedroom. It was clean. All brightly decorated in white. Even the bedding was white and it was tidier than I would have expected. I grinned because it was so ironic that we would do such filthy things in a white bed. He threw me on the bed and made me wait. In a box under the bed, he pulled out a black silk scarf.

"May I tie you up?"

I had never done this before and was overwhelmed by the question.

"Please."

"You control me enough as it is."

"There can never be enough control, baby. So?"

I nodded.

"Think of a safeword and bend over." I obeyed him, kneeling down and looking into a large mirror in front of me, peering over the mirror into his eyes. Damn, sex in front of a mirror was so hot. How was I going to survive this? My cunt was so soaked.

He grabbed my wrists and tied them to the headboard of the bed in front of me. I moaned at the thought that it was about to get down to business again. I sensed that he was about to go feral again and let him. With a tug, he pulled the soft cloth around my wrists tighter. I winced.

"What's your safeword?"

"I don't know. Do I really need one?"

"What if you do? I want to make you feel good. You're more innocent than I thought. I don't want to force you to do anything."

"I like the way you use me. Hmm, how about 'Stop'?"

Noah laughed. "'Stop?' Come on, that's boring." He slapped my ass. 1x, 2x, 3x…I moaned and felt my juice running out my inner thighs.

"Still haven't had enough, huh?"

I shook my head.

"I have one: 'Soft'" I said and realized how I blushed.

"Sweet." he teased me.

"I'll start soft with you, don't worry"

It was nice, but I needed it harder.

"Please fuck me harder" I moaned after a few minutes of pleasure. I almost had tears in my eyes. I was in agony as he fucked me. He kissed my neck and put his left hand around my throat.

"Harder, huh? Hard enough like this?"

He pushed faster with firm thrusts from behind into my tight, wet cunt.

"You horny little slut. How you leak because you want to be fucked hard by me. Who spoiled you like that?"

"Like you're not into it yourself." He slowed his thrusts, pulled my head back by my hair and kissed me on the mouth.

It felt exactly as I'd imagined it would.

"You're such an asshole. I bet you do that with all women."

"Only with sluts like you. And not many are like that. You provoke me. Why do you have such a horny, tight cunt? How am I supposed to resist? I want to use you and see how you enjoy it. I know you enjoy it."

My eyes searched his again over the mirror. We looked into each other's eyes for minutes. His thrusts hurt, but they were so good at the same time. I squinted my eyes in between.

"Uh uh. Be a good girl". He slapped my ass again. Over and over again.

"I love the way you fuck me."

"I love the way you let me use you. Such a good girl. Where do you want your reward right now?"

I didn't answer.

"In your mouth, huh? I can see it in your mouth, you little whore. I'm going to cum all the way down your tight, petite throat. That's what you want, isn't it? Otherwise, say what you want. Use your mouth for something other than being naughty or giving a blowjob."

"Please squirt everything in my mouth right away."

"Good decision. Then you can't talk back anymore. Did you seriously think I'd let you treat me like an idiot? You don't like my tattoos? You fucking liar. You're into it. I noticed it straight away. You fucked me with your eyes" He slapped my ass again.

"Fuck, if you could see how nice and red your ass is and how it wiggles when I thrust you from behind."

Noah took his phone and filmed my ass wiggling as he slapped it and thrust harder and harder. "Are you still holding out?"

"Uh huh," I moaned softly.

He held the video in front of my nose and thrust harder and faster. "Do you see what a horny hoe you are?"

I wasn't ashamed. Not a bit. It looked like porn and it turned me on so much.

"Everyone gets what they deserve. Especially good girls. Open your sweet fuck mouth."

I opened my mouth and Noah pushed my head down deep until his cock was in my throat. "Breathe through your nose. That's a good girl."

He emptied his sperm into my mouth and down my throat. I had to gag because there was so much and his thick cock was pulsating in my throat. In the meantime, it felt as if it had become even thicker. He stroked my head "Take my cock down your throat with greed. Swallow it all, be my good girl." I fought back tears but obeyed him.

"God. Sam's an idiot if he didn't want to fuck you today."

"Sam is history for me for good."

"That's good. You're mine from now on. I've marked you with my cum."

He untied the cloth from my wrists and kissed me on my mouth. I no longer resisted. It was beautiful, his kiss was gentle.

"You don't want to cuddle with me now, do you?" I asked skeptically. "If you ask like that, YOU definitely want to cuddle, am I right?"

He pulled me towards him so that he was lying behind me and put his right arm around me. He inhaled deeply the scent of the rest of my perfume that I had sprayed on myself earlier that evening. "You smell good. You have a good taste."

"That's why I slept with you tonight, Noah," I grinned.

----------------------------------------------------------

Part 2 or Noah's POV? What do you want to read next?

Part 2

Use me Part 2

As I had correctly suspected, I didn't hear from Noah for a while. He had my cell phone number, I had his too, but I didn't get in touch. I was too proud and working so much that I wouldn't have had time to see him again. One day in the home office with my colleague, which we moved to a quiet café, I received a message on Instagram in the afternoon from an account I didn't know. It was called 'ramenpartytime'. 'Who was that guy in the café earlier? Who the hell was this person behind 'ramenpartytime'? No picture uploaded, just a cartoon drawing of a cat in a ramen bowl as a display picture, 639 followers.

I closed the message and didn't reply. If it was a stalker, it was best not to respond at all, but the message still worried me a little. Another few weeks went by and I didn't do anything other than work, eat, drink and sleep. I had good money, but no time to spend it. What a shitty life. When I came home one evening, there was a black convertible opposite my house, the same model that Noah drove. As I unlocked my front door and was taking out the keys to my apartment, I suddenly heard a male voice behind me say. “I thought you were my good girl, but you can be so wrong.” “Noah?” I turned around. “Noah or your god. Isn't it?” “Don't scare me like that.”

He hugged me in greeting and looked me in the eye. “How are you?” He smiled, but for whatever reason I wasn't really happy to see him. I wasn't prepared. My make-up was no longer fresh and I felt uncomfortable because I had been sweating all day in my skirt and top. I unlocked the front door, but didn't invite him in because I was completely overwhelmed by the situation. He remained standing in the doorway. “Aren't you going to let me in?” “Yes, of course,” I said, confused. He grabbed my shoulders from behind and kissed my neck. “Noah,” I groaned, laughing and pulling my shoulders up because it tickled. “I'm afraid I don't have that much space and it's not tidy right now because I'm just working.” I opened the living room door and let him step forward onto the sofa. “Sounds like you could do with some relaxation.” “I really could.” “Fuck, I haven't got anything. I forgot to go by groceries.” “Hey, come here,” said Noah, who was already lying on the sofa, taking off his shoes. He stretched out his right arm. “Wait a minute. I've got drinks. What do you want?” I turned to the side so that he had a clear view of my shelf. “Do you mix cocktails?” “Maybe. Just say what you want.” I smiled. “I'll have whatever you mix. Anything.” “Even with alcohol?” He nodded. “Ok, fine.” I smiled.

I stood with my back to him and he watched me while I freestyled our drinks. I happily walked over to him on the sofa with both glasses and straws. “Thank you. Tell me. What's going on with you? You haven't been in touch at all.” He couldn't be serious. I had feared it would be like this. It was always like this. Sex, then nothing for weeks and then suddenly, out of nowhere, sex again as if nothing had happened. “Like I said. Eat, sleep, repeat.” “And who was the guy last time?” “What guy? What are you talking about?” Slowly, the doorbell rang. “ramenpartytime” was Noah. He didn't say anything, just continued to look at me expectantly. “Did you text me that weird message on Insta?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. He nodded. “We're not together. You've been ignoring me for weeks. Why are you asking me why I haven't contacted you? You could have contacted me just as easily.” “Oh, come on. So who was the guy?” “A colleague from work. Are you jealous?” “As long as you weren't shagging him, no.” I rolled my eyes. “Are you being cheeky again?” he asked quietly, putting his glass down and pulling me against his chest. “I missed you.” I laughed, “Yeah, sure.” “Yes, really.” He ran his hand down my cleavage. My knees went weak. “If you really did, you would have contacted me.” “As it happens, I've been working a lot too. Would I be here now otherwise?” Noah was good at silencing me. “After all, you read my message but never replied.” he continued. “Because I thought it was a fucking stalker. How was I supposed to know you were behind a cartoon cat picture like that?” I laughed. He pushed me up and put a big pillow under my back. “Relax.” He pushed up my skirt, grinned when he saw my skimpy panties, impatiently yanked them aside and kissed my pussy. “Oh. My. God.” “Shhh.” he admonished me. My legs were shaking. I don't know how long it had been since I'd been pampered between my legs. I ran my right hand into his full, dark hair and clawed at his right shoulder with my left.” “I didn't know you could get that feral.” he grinned. His warm breath was pleasant between my legs. He sucked on my wet, aroused spot between my legs and fingered me in the meantime. “How quickly my good girl gets wet. You have such a beautiful cunt, you know that?” His tongue pressed more aggressively against my clit and as if that wasn't enough he stuck it into my dripping hole. Although the position was submissive, he was anything but. He was still Naoh as I had come to know him: confident and dominant. “Please don't stop.” “Don't worry. This won't be your only orgasm today. After that, I'll fuck you properly in all your holes. You deserve to have someone take good care of you.” It didn't take long for me to orgasm and to my surprise I even squirted, which didn't happen often. I usually only came that quickly when I was pleasuring myself. “You little hoe.” he grinned dirty, sat down on the sofa and pushed me onto the floor in front of him. “You know what you have to do, don't you?” I nodded and exhaled exhaustedly. His cock was only slightly hard so far. I slowly took it out of his shorts and pleasured him, still on my knees. “Fuck, you suck so good. I knew you wouldn't let me down. You won't, will you?” He dropped his head back and pulled lightly on my hair before pushing my head down further. His tip bored into my neck and I tapped exhaustedly against his thigh. “Looks like we both don't have that much energy today, huh?” he said softly, letting me set the pace. “Remember your safeword?” In fact, I'd forgotten it because I'd never needed it. Noah could tell I was thinking and would never remember it. “Okay, fine. I'll show you your safeword. Where's the bedroom?” I guided him and he threw me onto the bed.

“Use me, Noah.” “Be careful what you wish for.” I gave him the sweetest smile I had ever had. He grabbed my chin and kissed me on the mouth. “No kissing, Noah. That was and is still my rule.” I pulled my head away. “Rules are there to be broken. I know you like it. You can't tell me to use you and then block it. Remember your safeword?” I shook my head. Noah kissed me gently on the neck, moving down to my breasts to my mound of Venus where he stopped. “Your safeword was 'soft'.” I guess it was a good sign that I had forgotten. “Now it's time for you to use me. Have no inhibitions.” I pulled him on top of me and clawed at his back. My nails were painted a little longer than usual in red.

I didn't want to kiss him, but I did it automatically. It felt so good. His hands held my face, our kisses became wilder and wetter until I finally said, “I need your cock inside me.” I pushed his big, hard cock into my leaking cunt. “You're so incredibly good. You always know what to do. Believe me, I won't just fuck you 4-5 times like the others.” “Stop talking about others when your cock is inside me. Fuck me hard,” I bitched. “That was so obvious. My little bitch wants it hard, huh? Hard enough?” he asked as he held onto my neck with his right hand and thrust into me like there was no tomorrow. I wanted to feel his dominance non-stop. “I have to fuck you differently. I can't make you happy like this.” He took my legs up, to the side and slowly penetrated my ass. “This is the best position for you, isn't it? Do you know how much I love that you're so depraved?” I signaled him no. “Do I have to prove it to you again?” “Yes, Noah.”

He thrust harder and faster than I thought anyone could possibly be capable of. After a few minutes, he panted, “You're killing me.” I was also completely out of breath. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore because he was brutal like never before, but I liked it. I needed it. “Sit on me. Ride me. Show me how much you desire my cock. How you desire me.” He wiped away my tears. I noticed how the salty liquid had already mixed with my mascara, eye shadow and foundation and was running down my face. I obeyed him and settled down on his now rock-hard, long, thick cock.

Although I was completely destroyed, I tried my best to be the best slut he had ever had in bed. I never wanted it to end. “That's it. That's the right way. Good girl. Your crack is made for my cock.” “Is it?” I asked, watching my pelvis rise and fall as I bobbed on it. “Hey. Look at me. I want to see you enjoy it.” I looked into his eyes for minutes until I realized his cock was starting to twitch. “Apparently I'm doing my job very well. He's already twitching.” Noah hummed a “Hmmm.” pulled him out and ordered me to lie on the bed. I knew immediately what I had to do, lay across the bed and let my head hang off the edge of the bed. He squirted all over my face after he jerked his huge, hard cock with a few powerful movements and I caught some of his cum with my mouth. He put his right thumb in my mouth and pushed his cum that was around my mouth further into my mouth. “Be my good girl and swallow. What's it like to be used like that?” “It's the best feeling ever.”

I rushed into the bathroom and looked at my face in the mirror. I looked so dirty. Noah came after me and stopped in the doorway. “You do realize I have to take my makeup off now, right?” Grinning, Noah told me that he really wanted to see how my make-up was running down my face. “Sure, just once” I grinned and washed my face. “I've missed the way you say my name, the way you fuck, the way you taste.” “Then get in touch with me. It doesn't just have to be every few weeks.” “Or you can get in touch. I'm sure you've thought about our night just as often as I have.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Huh?” He sat me down on the washing machine. I had to kiss him, I couldn't help but pull him close and stick my tongue down his throat. “What's wrong with you?” “Why?” “First you don't want me to kiss you and now you can't get enough?” “Since when do I get enough of you, Noah? I'll never have enough. Will you?” “Not if you're my good girl and stay that way. You haven't had anything with anyone else in the time we haven't seen each other, have you?” “No.” “That's good. Me neither.”

His eyes fell on my clothes rack. He reached for a black lace body that was low-cut. “It's brand new,” I grinned. “Did you buy this for me?” he asked dirtily, kissing my neck and moving his tongue to my breasts. “Who knows” “Simple question, simple answer” he said roughly and slapped me lightly on the cheek. Again, something I didn't think I would like. I wondered how far I would go. How far I was prepared to completely switch off my boundaries and just be submissive, just there for him to satisfy him. “I imagined our reunion differently, to be honest.” “How did you imagine it?” he whispered in my ear. His breath was hot and his lips soft. He nibbled on my earlobe and then kissed me on the mouth again. “Tell me.” “I thought you'd call me, tell me to put on some nice clothes and order me to your house like a hooker.” “So you'd like that, huh?” I nodded and blushed, horrified at my own increasingly withering fantasies. “We'll do that next time. When do you have time?” “The day after tomorrow?” With a grin, Noah agreed. “The day after tomorrow at 8pm. You'll love it. I'll do everything I can to make sure you stay my good girl.”

On the day in question, a message arrived at 6pm. 'Your Uber is coming at 7:40 pm. Make yourself pretty for me.' I put on the skimpy lace bodysuit that squeezed my breasts, a leather mini skirt, my favorite black high heels that were 12centimetres high and a plain white blouse. I hadn't dressed up like this for a long time. My make-up was more than usual now that I knew Noah liked it when my make-up ran during sex. I had endless energy and had taken the extra time off and slept a lot. Today he would push himself to his limits and fuck me over and over again all evening and into the night until he didn't have a drop of cum left in him. Shortly before 8pm I was already standing in front of his house. The nervousness made my heart pound in my throat. I swallowed and rang the doorbell. He opened the door without a word and lifted me up. My legs sought their way around his back and intertwined at the ankle cuffs. He was impatient and so was I, but I could tell he knew exactly what he wanted. His dominance was so appealing. I couldn't wait. He put me down so I could stand and he could sit on the bed. I started to unbutton my blouse. “Eh, eh. Did I tell you to take your clothes off?” My face showed only astonishment. He pulled me towards him by the chin and kissed me fiercely. This time his kiss was anything but tender, but wild and demanding. He slapped my cheek with his right hand. “I thought you would have understood your role by now, but you're still not good enough for me."

He could see the desperation on my heavily made-up face. “You're so fucking hot. Dressed up extra slutty for me. You like being my little whore, huh?” Although I didn't really have any boundaries left in my head, the blush shot up my face. I loved it when he said dirty things like that to me. “No need to blush. I know what you're like. There's nothing wrong with that. I'll prove it to you. I could come just looking at your tits. How hot they look, being squeezed like that.” He grabbed my neck and licked over my plunging neckline. “The blouse can go, the rest stays on.” I didn't contradict him. His right hand searched for the clasp of my bodysuit, which he now opened and without warning pressed directly on my clitoris with his thumb and immediately found the spot that made me groan. “You're not really wet yet. Want to make it a bit hard for me today, huh?” He stuck his thumb in my cunt and worked it until it was wet and smacking. “I'm going to take you apart like never before today, trust me on that.” “That was my plan too.” “Open your sweet fuck mouth. How's that taste, huh?” he whispered in my ear as he shoved his cunt juice-soaked thumb into my mouth. “After my cunt, which is always ready for you,” I whispered back in his ear.

I licked over his tattooed neck and danced uninhibitedly on his lap. “Look at your tits, how horny they jiggle. I love your whorish way.” I could feel it in his pants before he even said it to me. “I love the way you fuck me.” “Yes?” he asked, unsurprised. “That's good. You're mine, only mine. I'll make sure no other man will ever fuck you again. Unless I allow it. Get on your knees and undress me. Seduce me like it's the last time you'll ever be able to fuck me.” “Noah, what are you saying?” He stroked my head. “You know what I mean. Be my good girl and do everything I tell you, yes.” He hooked his left index finger on my leather cocker and took his right hand to push my head onto his hard cock. “It's not quite that hard yet.” He slapped me lightly on my mouth. “Then try harder, you slut!”

His words fired me up. They motivated me to be on my knees at his mercy and let his cock get harder in my mouth. “See, you can do it. You suck so well, I'll never get enough of it.” I now slowly pressed my head onto his cock and gagged and drooled like I had never done in my life. My covered breasts rubbed against his thighs. “You're such a good girl for me and you're so good with my cock. You're getting wilder and wilder. Do you notice how you're losing your inhibitions more and more?” I interrupted the blow job to agree with him. He stroked my head and slapped my face gently the next moment. I loved the alternating game. Whenever I was spanked, I took him even deeper into my mouth, drooling and moaning. “Spit on it” I obeyed him. I obeyed him all the time and didn't talk back. “Go into the bedroom and kneel on the bed.” I walked forward and stuck my ass out at him. “Keep your head down,” he directed me. “Good girl.”

He took both my arms back and held me by my wrists while he alternately thrust into my pussy and ass. “How do you like that, huh? You're so quiet today. Moan more and show me how much you enjoy it when I take dirty turns ramming my cock into both your holes.” Since I didn't respond directly, I got a slap on my ass. “I can't hear you.” He pulled my hair. “You like it when I work your ass, huh? How can you be so whorish?” “Everyone gets what they deserve,” I said seductively. Noah moaned louder than ever. “You love my ass, don't you?” “I love everything about you.”

Noah kept pounding my ass until it got hot. Over and over again and I was sure he was already flaming red, but I knew how it was turning him on and me too. I moaned as he started pounding his cock into my wet hole. “God, fuck me hard. Please.” “Little bitch, be quiet. I'll fuck you any way I want!” He covered my mouth with his right hand, his left still gripping my wrists tightly. When he realized that I was struggling to breathe, he took his hand away and put his middle finger in my mouth. “Suck it. Good girl. Y would definitely celebrate a second dick, huh?” I shook my head. “Noah,” I said admonishingly. “Calm down. I just wanted to test you. You're mine. I marked you, remember?” “What if I'd like a threesome?” I provoked him. “Then I'll get a slut for it. What do you like? Blonde? Brunette?” “Threesome with a man.”

He turned me around and his eyebrows drew together. His frown line got deeper than ever. “Forget it. Are you afraid someone else might be better than you?” I didn't know what to say to that. “Tell me.” “Maybe. But what's the point of a woman having three holes when a man only has one dick?” I had silenced Noah. He took me in his favorite position, legs on his shoulders, and it didn't take long for me to orgasm. “You little cunt. Don't even dream about it. What man can make you come as hard as me, huh?” He pulled my hair and stuck his finger into my cunt, which was screaming with pleasure. "You're always wet. Be a good girl and suck my finger clean." I stuck my tongue out and ran the tip of my tongue over his finger. "Eh, eh." He stuck it all the way down my throat. "That's the right way to suck. Imagine it's my cock. You always take it greedily into your sweet fuck mouth, don't you? That's good. My good girl." he grinned dirty and stroked my head. He was driving me crazy. He switched from dominant to tender. We changed positions. He now wanted me to ride him slowly. I felt particularly spoiled because I was still wearing almost all my clothes except for my blouse. "Do you like it like that? Do you like my outfit so much that you don't want me to take it off?"

"That's right. You're not only good, you're also smart" Our foreheads stuck together. I gazed into his eyes, spoiled, as I put my pussy over his cock and slowly moved it up and down. He held on to my high heels and moaned until his right hand lifted my breasts out over my sexy lace body. "Fuck, I love the way your tits jiggle." Noah now reached next to him at the bedside table and filmed me doing my best to bring him to orgasm. "Look." He held the video in front of my face. My face wasn't on it, you could see me from my black chocker and mainly my breasts jiggling. It looked like a porn movie again, just like the video from our first one where he filmed me from behind. "What do you actually do with the videos?" "Don't worry about them. They're in my locked folder. What do you think I do with them? When I jerk off, I watch them and think about you. I don't need to watch porn anymore if you're such a good girl for me."

I turned around so he could now film my ass and me riding it the other way. "Film my ass again," I said. Noah grinned, "Do you want to see it?" Completely exhausted, I could only nod. "I didn't know my ass looked so hot." I laughed. "Otherwise I wouldn't be fucking you." He took my hair so that it lay like a plait in his right hand and pulled it. "You're my little whore, aren't you?" "Of course you are, Noah. Your good girl and your whore. Whatever you want." He groaned and quickly pushed me onto the bed. He squirted all over my ass. What I didn't realize was that he had picked up his phone again and filmed the finale. "God, look at that." It turned me on to see myself used like that. Still on all fours, I didn't dare get up so as not to mess up his bed. Noah gasped behind me and reached for a tissue from the box on his bedside table. "One tissue isn't enough, I think." I grinned.

The End

@xmads-omensx @english-fucker @dsireland86 @pathion @philomenie @vanishxcanvas @cook-anna @astridwesson @wildflower28902 @lma1986 @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @rebelheart90 @dravenskye @fadingintothegrey @masked-omen @onlyjamesbuchananbarnes @marvelousmal @clingylittlebun-blog @thisisntablogspost @tikosblogg @lindasormunen @deepestmongerwolfeclipse @yayuthebunny @dvvlish @norvinastoff @amelia-acero @dominuslunae @sarahrosw36q @importantquotesforcaliforni-blog @caitcoreeeee @shelby08 @starcrossedwasteland @industrialdreadhead @c0ncrete-jungl3 @bandznerd @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @fadingintothegrey @rebelheart90 @kochajmy @shilohrosechicken @marchcaos

[cyber-night]

BRANDING IL DOTTORE

This took so long because Fuck. But enjoy!

Anyways content warnings: Sub Il Dottore x Dom Reader, no beta we die like Niwa, Gore (I think its mild but tbh I'm not sure), Body writing, blood kink, knife play, unhealthy relationship, degradation, masochist Il dottore, Ooc Il Dottore, let me know if I missed something.

It was something he said off-handedly while you fucked him over his desk last week. It had gone something like "Please I need it. Want to be yours want you to claim me, mark me, brand me." And the idea hadn't left your mind since he sobbed it out in the heat of the moment. Presently the reason it was at the forefront of your mind was because he was carving open some poor bastard to make as he had said "Improvements." Your eyes were watching over the edge of your book looking at your lover's gloved hands expertly wielding his scalpel to cut the man apart.

You couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have Dottore beneath you as you marked him permanently with one of his own knives. How pretty your name would look etched into his skin. If you could make him cum just from that. "Your staring," He said without looking up from his work. You hummed in response as you looked up at his face. It was hidden behind a mask but you still loved to look at him despite it. "Something on your mind my Nightshade?" He asked as he looked up at you. Setting your book down and standing up to get closer to him you say "Just thinking about something you said a few nights ago that's all." You were now close enough to see inside the man's chest cavity. Dottore had removed several of his organs though, you noticed he was still awake and alive, though unable to move anything but his eyes. Dottore seemed to be replacing bits of him with mechanical parts. "Oh? Care to refresh my memory? I've said a lot of things."

His smile was, to some, unnerving to you however it was teasing. "You asked me to mark you as mine. Carve my name into your skin I believe." You say as you look up from the mess of a body that lay between you two. He tilts his head "and? Did that particular request peak your interest?" You look back down at the scalpel in his hand "What can I say it stuck with me." You walk around the autopsy table and wrapped your arms around him "Where would you put it?" He said as he got back to cutting parts of the man in front of you away. "Where would you let me put it?" He paused again before answering "below the neck" he said as he held the scalpel below the man's neck "and above the mid-thigh." He trailed the scalpel down to indicate his range. "So what your saying is I could give you a tramp stamp?" He looks at you and though he's wearing a mask you can tell he's glaring at you "that's disgraceful." With a smile, you respond, "I know and that fact is why it's a contender for where I'd put it." He sighs and turns back to the body before him "Let me finish my work Nightshade."

You pull away with a laugh not missing the way he followed your touch and headed back to where you had been to let him finish his work while you read. It was almost an hour later that he had finished whatever he was doing and handed the body off to one of his segments. The both of you walked in comfortable silence to your shared room though you couldn't see his eyes you could tell he was watching you. As soon as you both got there he took off to the bathroom to quickly wash the blood off of himself and change into clean clothes. You made tea for the both of you and sat on the sofa to read some more of your book while you waited.

He came out of the bathroom not fifteen minutes later his hair damp and free of blood. You'd never understand how he always managed to get blood in his hair. His gorgeous red eyes scanned the room till they settled on you. He sat down across from you on the sofa and took a sip of his tea. "So you've had some time to think it over. Any ideas?" He asks as he sets his cup down and looks at you expectantly "oh? Eager are we?" His eyes narrowed at you "and if I am?" You turn to face him fully and he follows suit. "Well, I have a few, for instance, your ass would be pretty. I'd get to see it every time I fuck you but then you wouldn't see it and I want you to see it I want you to wake up and see my name permanently branded into your skin." You paused to take a sip of your tea thinking. "And that's the problem I kept running into. Your thigh and above your hip have similar issues in my mind" you say conversationally as if you weren't talking about scaring your name into the doctor's flesh. "So how about" you reached out to rest your hand over his heart "Here." You could feel his heart start to beat faster and his breath hitch. "You like that idea don't you?"

His eyes were clouded with lust and excitement. He looked over towards the bedroom before getting up saying "I think I have a scalpel in the bedside drawer." Laughing at his eagerness you follow making a stop in the bathroom to grab some rubbing alcohol. You get to the bedroom just in time to see him victoriously pull a scalpel out of the bedside table drawer. "Are you sure you want to do this My horror?" He looked at you for a moment "I'm sure. If you leave I can always just erase it. Though your not allowed to anyways." He handed you the scalpel and kissed you. You threw the alcohol onto the bed so you had your hand free to start unbuttoning his shirt "And neither are you. Your mine." You said as you pulled away trailing the knife down his cheek. He groaned and tossed his shirt to the side and kissed you again before climbing into the bed and laying on his back.

He looked beautiful, your darling, all laid out for you. After taking in the view for a moment you climbed up onto the bed and straddled his lower torso and fumbled behind around for the alcohol. You had asked him one final time if he was sure he wanted this "if you don't get on with it I might change my mind." He growled out. Clicking your tongue you slipped the scalpel under his chin and used it to force him to look at you "Beg for it" You loved the look in his eyes knowing he wanted this just as much as you did. Being able to take his bratty attitude and force him into nothing but your obedient fucktoy. "Please carve your name into my skin so no one else can fuck me, so everyone knows I'm your whore." You smiled and opened the bottle of rubbing alcohol and poured a generous amount over his entire chest and the scalpel watching him writhe at the cold of it before shutting the bottle and letting it fall to the floor. "Do I have to tie you down for this like one of your patients, Nightmare?" He shook his head not trusting his voice to work. "Good, I'm going to start now. Try not to move." He nodded. "Oh and Dottore? Don't cum." His eyes clouded even more as he nodded.

You started by lightly tracing your name out a few times causing his skin to raise slightly so you could get it perfect. Once you were satisfied you started to actually put pressure onto the scalpel. At the first true cut, Dottore let out a content sigh. You smiled and continued. You went slow savouring the way the blood dripped from your work staining the sheets beneath. Giving in to temptation and licking up a streak of blood earned you a sharp breath from your work in progress. You could feel him tense up at every line and curve. Once you had a superficial etching you started over again. Deepening your lines to make them last for as long as he lived and even if they didn't? If they ever started to fade? You'd go over them again and again. However many times you needed to make it stick.

Eventually, he seemed to be basking in the pain freely moaning when you cut a little deeper. A small part of you wanted to go until you hit bone just to know what kind of sounds he'd make as you scraped the scalpel over his bones but you didn't truly have the energy for that and it would require something more akin to a lab setting. . . An idea for another day. You did however keep going till you knew you were deep in the dermis stopping when you finally grazed muscle. You had been so focused on your work you had almost stopped paying attention to Dottore he was drooling his eyes rolled back in bliss. Your perfect slutty masochist. You tapped his cheek with the bloody scalpel to bring him back to the present. As much as you didn't mind the idea of him being your brain-dead fuck doll you wanted him to be somewhat there mentally. When you saw his eyes focus. "It's done pet. Now, how about I help you with this?" You said as you pushed your ass back which as predicted grinded over his rock-hard cock. He moaned at the friction on his neglected dick forcing out a "please."

You pushed yourself back so you were now sat in between his legs the scalpel discarded to the side of the bed. You pulled his pants and underwear off in one movement. You tossed the last of his clothes off the bed. His cock already pouring pre-cum. You once more reached into the bedside table looking for lube. You noticed as you sat back lube in hand that Dottore seemed if you didn't know any better you'd say embarrassed. "Are you alright Darling? Do you want to stop?" He looked away "No. I-" It took you a moment to process what you were looking at and then another to mentally get your shit together. Dottore was still saying words but they didn't matter. A plug. More specifically a black plug with a red gem at the base that matched his eyes perfectly. "How long has it been in?" He was looking anywhere but at you.

You grabbed it and started twisting it and pulling on it. He let out something more akin to the sound his subjects make when he slits their throat "Dottore how long?" You asked getting impatient. Upon realizing that he had yet to answer you he came back to his senses and you finally got an answer from your whore of a boyfriend. "Put it in when I found out you'd be sitting in on the surgery." In a slightly quieter voice, "I like the way you fuck me after I've worked on a subject." You continued to fidget with the plug "oh? And what do I do differently?" You knew what he mean you always fucked him harder more animalistic than loving. There was just something about taking the mad scientist who had just murdered someone and fucking him senseless. It was a power trip you'd never get used to. "Your brutal Nightshade, you fuck me like I'm nothing" He whispered. "So you decide to fill your desperate hole with something so I could just pound you when you were done? Were you even planning for us to make it out of the lab? Or did you want me to fuck you on the table you'd just carved someone open on?" You pulled the plug out before ramming it back in. "Maybe next time your working we should put a vibrator in your cum dump of a hole and see how long you last."

You pulled the plug out and tossed it to the side with the scalpel. You lined your dick up with his empty hole as you trail your clean hand up his chest settling over your name which looked beautiful in his skin. "Ask nicely for my cock and I might indulge you." His dignity had long since been abandoned "Please fill your pathetic whore up with cock and cum please-" He trailed off as you started to slowly push yourself in. You paused waiting for him to continue. He looked up at you confused "don't stop! why did you stop?"

"Well, you stopped and I don't recall telling you that you could."

"Oh fuck" He moaned out. You watched his cock twitch and leak as he begged "Please breed me want you to fuck your cum into me. I want to be nothing but a hole for you to fill when you come home please." As he was blabbering you shoved your cock into his ass as the hand that was still settled over your name pushed down on it ripping a scream from him. You let him catch his breath before digging your fingers into the mark again "Tell me slut what's stopping me from writing whatever I want on you hmm?" His brain took a moment to process the threat but once it had he was back to begging "Oh fuck yes, my body is your canvas." He let out a guttural moan as you pulled almost all the way out to set a slow brutal pace. "That's right good boy. My pretty little fuck toy." You weren't going to you hadn't discussed it prior but you did file it away for later.

As you fucked him you once again pushed against your name engraved in his chest and wrapped your hand around his throat squeezing as his eyes widened and then rolled back as he came though you didn't stop fucking him instead opting to fuck him faster. "Pathetic. Should I treat you like one of your subjects? As nothing more than an experiment?" He shuddered trying to breathe while you choked him "Wh-what experiment are you conducting on me?" He managed to force out "My experiment? It's trying to find the limits of your masochism. Letting, no begging me to carve my name into you and then have the audacity to cum without asking after and from me choking you no less. You must be a slut for pain Doctor" he moaned at hearing his title said with such sarcasm. "Yes, fuck yes I'm your pain slut punish m- oh fuck punish me however you want Please!" You kissed him "with pleasure." With that, you made it your mission to fuck him until he either passed out or you decided he'd had enough. Either way, your pet doctor was in for a long night.

[master-thief-gray-shadow]

There have been a handful of shows that have come to me in my life at a time when I needed them most and saved me from myself. If you've been following me for a while you'll know that Revue Starlight is one of them.

So I'd like to talk about another one. In september of 2022, I sat down one morning and finally decided to watch Revolutionary Girl Utena. And I can say with full confidence that this was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. Obviously because I got to watch Revolutionary Girl Utena, perhaps one of the greatest serialized animated shows ever made, so massively influential that you can see its DNA in almost any yuri series you can think of.

But also because a week after finishing RGU, feeling like a changed man who had seen the truth of the universe, this aired.

Now, I had been aware that this was going to be a thing for the few months preceding. I have a friend who was very excited for a mainline Gundam series to have a female protagonist for the first time (and when they explained this to me I was very shocked that it had never happened before. You mean to tell me that a franchise old enough to be some people's fathers has never had a female protagonist in its entire history?) I had sort of a passing interest in it. I was sort of on the tail end of my Arknights era, so that had been the fall 2022 show I was looking forward to the most. Hey, if it's good, I'll watch it, I reasoned.

Imagine how I felt opening twitter two years ago tonight to see my entire TL screaming "UTENA IN SPACE???!!!!"

Well, Utena is the greatest thing anyone has ever made. If this is like Utena, it's gotta be worth checking out, right?

I was floundering throughout 2022. I couldn't do the hobbies that I loved because of burnout, I was stuck at home most of the time because I couldn't drive and didn't have a means to leave otherwise, and everything I had planned out or started to look forward to ended up getting cancelled or delayed in some way, so I was robbed of the little exciting things that are supposed to keep me going. I was deeply unhappy and in need of a mental anchor of some kind. And Suletta Sundays proved to be just that.

I loved G-Witch. I've loved the other Gundam things I've seen, too. I'm happy that this show got me into Gundam, because that had been something I'd been meaning to do for a long time. Suletta and Miorine's relationship proved to be the thing that broke me out of the creative rut I'd found myself in, and since the beginning of last year when I started writing SuleMio fic I've measurably improved as a writer. I've made a lot of friends through our shared love (and frustration) with this show, and it's been a long time since I've been able to bond with people in a fandom space this tightly.

For years the bar for how much fun an anime was to watch while it aired had been Love Live Sunshine season 2. G-Witch surpassed that before its first season even finished.

Happy anniversary to Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury.

[toska-writes]

“Foggy Memories”

Summary: Days blurred together, one after the other. It was getting hard to remember what was real and what was just a figment of Crosshair’s imagination

Pairing: Crosshair x platonic padawan reader (ITS ALL PLATONIC)

Warning: nothing really Just some angst!

Word Count: 1061

Notes: I feel like that audio that goes “I’m me again, it feels like it’s been years.” Writing this brought a smile to my face as I realized how much I enjoyed doing these before! Thank you to all the support that still happens on this page even if I’ve been inactive, it’s crazy to me and I love you all for it!

Requests are open again! Or just send a message if you want I love to receive them

His eyelids were becoming harder and harder to keep open. Crosshairs mind trying to block out what happened before... what did happen?

Cross' furrowed his brows trying to remember as his knees were tucked closely to his chest.

More water from the stormy planet of Kamino woke him up from his daze.

"Cross?" It took the clone a moment to recognize Omegas voice. Moving his head slowly to look over his shoulder, he watched as his brothers and commander playing in the puddles on the landing pad.

That can't be right

Omegas smile didn't leave her face as she continued to stare at Crosshair. It never seemed too.

"Are you going to join us?" Her voice was light. Crosshair could have sworn it was different. Something changed. It wasn't this happy.

Something tugged at his insides as Crosshair shook his head no. "I'm not feeling to good right now." His voice was gravely and strained, how long had he been there?

Omega gave a small shrug and returned to the fun that seemed to be behind Cross.

The sun started to set, once again, over the endless ocean that could have gone to the ends of the galaxy. He wanted to close his eyes, to bask in the dying sun since something inside him said this was the last chance.

A figure sat down next to him. The slight bump of their shoulder felt like a soft trace of the wind. "It's ok Cross." He could recognize his old commanding padawan better, their voice was as familiar as his own reflection.

He slightly looked over, they sat the same was as Cross trying to get some cover from the wind.

Crosshair could only look for a moment, that's what he was good at doing anyways, this time the memory feeling familiar.

"We're alright." You continued, a small smiled pulled at the edges of your lips. The clone only nodded his head, but something in his eyes told you he was comforted by your words.

Your own gaze now fell to the warm hues of the sun. Taking a breath in of the salty air you spoke once again. "Can't you believe it Cross? That the wars over?"

Despite his sluggish mind Crosshair snapped his head towards your direction.

No. He was there when the war was announced over. When the Jedi were announced...

But there you were, sitting next to him on the cool landing pad.

"I've dreamed of this," You continued as if you didn't pick up on the confusion radiating off Crosshair. "What are we going to do?"

Your old smiled calmed Cross' nerves, some things don't change.

"We can go anywhere we want." Youre tone was in a dreamy whispers as you thought of the possibilities.

"We can't." Crosshairs' own voice grated against his ears. His mind was foggy but the memories that stained his past seemed to play over and over again.

"The empire-" His words were cut off as you stared at him with a quizzical look. When someone was teaching you something new, or plans were being explained again, you had the same expression now.

Laughter erupted from the others as Wrecker laid flat of his back slipping from the slick surface bellow.

The urge to join his brothers ate up Crosshair, but his tired body refused to move him. Thats when he knew something was off. The energy and excitement his brothers, his family all seemed to have were odd. Crosshair caught himself thinking over the days before but came up empty handed.

You laughed along with them, turning towards Cross. The word Crosshair spoke seemed to unbothered you as you returned your gaze to him.

In the absence of his clear mind Crosshair found himself asking the question. "Why are we still here?"

His commanders soft eyes scanned his face. For a moment Cross thought as if they would reach out with a comforting hand, but it never touched him.

"You can come with us Cross." The unmistakable voice of Hunter rang from behind the pair.

Omega was glued to Hunters side with the rest of his squad lined up next to the sergeant.

He looked to Tech, the brother that he acted like annoyed him, but who Cross would do anything in the entire galaxy to hear explain something new he researched again.

His eyes shifted to Wrecker. The one who made the war seem lighter and everything less scary. His deep laugh seemed lifetimes away now, but the soft smile he was giving Crosshair now could lighten his spirits in an instant.

Hunter and Omega, the brother he can't help but admit that he looked up too, one he could never fathom living without. It was true when Crosshair said he would follow his commands to the ends of the galaxy.

Omega with a pure smile and heart, one that hasn't yet seemed to give up on Crosshair.

A faint smile ghosted his lips, the thought of them staying with him warmed him against the salty winds.

To you, now he looked. The commander that got under his skin in the best way, the one he caught himself looking out for in different missions and the only nat born he could say he was fond of.

"Please come with us Cross." Your voice was darker, graver now. The sound of rain now pounded the landing pad as your pleas were lost to the wind. "I don't want to loose you to."

This was too close. A memory his foggy brain was trying to forget. This was too close to what really happened. 

Crosshair's legs unfolded from his body as in a stumbled he pushed himself up and looked over his shoulder.

His feet caught him in a moment, looking up to where his brothers stood before. Now it was completely void of anything.

The sun seemed to disappear as the reality of the stormy night crashed into Crosshair . Alone.

In a frenzy Crosshair snapped his head to find his padawan gone as well. Everything was gone. What was new?

His legs shook under the cold wind, his knees giving out and dropping him the landing pad bellow.

"I'm sorry Cross" the words either said by something for carried by the wind itself whispered into his ear.

Oh yeah... he could remember now. But how many days has he really been alone?

_____________________________________

Taglist: (welcome back loves)

@arctrooper69 @thereforepizza @padawancat97 @pb-jellybeans @floffytofu @verybadatwriting @solstraalaa @ray-rook @gregorsmissingarmor

[kyberphilosopher]

Tenebrous

Tenebrous/Tenebroum : shut off from the light : dark, murky. tenebrous depths... hard to understand : obscure. Word Count: 2362 NO WARNINGS Shadowhearts' mind is a weathering storm, but a storm is no match for one simple flower. A/N: Will be slowly returning to writing. I've been out of it for at least a year so my quality may not be what it used to, but I don't think it's that bad really. It's sorta proof read this time (not really)! Yayyyy.

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There are many changes in life that could be considered… unwelcome. Life in itself has a tendency to be such a complicated journey, weaving and webbing and entrapping all that it can; much like Lolth’s loyal, spindling spiders. Such arachnids, for example, shed their skin to allow for their growth. Flowers bloom up and down, all around, before they die. Even a body of water might change its height, day by day. None of these things, of course, possess a conscience. Only a human might possess that, and humans, miserably, are more often ticking time bombs than not. 

Shadowhearts' change was difficult to pinpoint. She’d shed her skin and dawned a better, holier mantle, and yet she did not shine anew. Her skin did not glimmer or reflect- only absorbed and denied. Her hair was black like loneliness, her eyes mossy shadows. The young woman, though previously punished and whipped, now rewarded with understanding. She understood how she’d come to choose the name Shadowheart for herself, and now she understood how she’d finally earned it. She was a living weapon. An envoy for The Dark Lady’s will. A Dark Justiciar. Shadowheart should’ve felt on top of the world for such a feat. 

You… well, all of you could still very clearly remember the look on Nightsong’s face when she was slain. Shock. Shock, surprise, fear. Shadowhearts' arm was heavy with muscle and willpower. There was no hesitation in her sage orbs as she brought down her Spear of Night. Then the Nightsong sang no more. 

“I did what had to be done,” the half elf had spoken about it after. “No point in fretting over it, is there?”

You watched her. Not always- not while she slept like a creep. A sneaking glance or two was all you needed. Shadowheart was a (somewhat) kind hearted, devout, and intimate woman who displayed a deep interest in bleeding something to dry as well as tenderly curing it. Few things seemed to matter as much to her as her faith- when there was a sky full of stars and constellations, an open emerald field dappled with lavender, a lost temple- she was always there, praying. Praying to her mother, who she did not know. Who she had no memory of. Who rarely answered her when Shadowheart thought up a question. Praying to the Lady of Loss. That never changed. 

You watched her. The morning light rose over the horizon, then the deep maroon leaves circling overtop the camp. Although Shadowheart had prayed this morning- early- she had not stopped. The young halfbreed sat with bent knees and clasped hands since before the sun had risen. Her peach-y pink lips muttered repeatedly to herself again and again, only pausing when she looked… pained? Or perhaps deep in thought?

She opens them. 

Your gaze turns to the gauntlets you fit around your arms. They are heavy, though not as heavy as Shadowhearts' eyes. When you glance over upon her once more, she pushes herself to her feet and then locks eyes with the ground for a long time. 

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There was much of Faerun that you had neglected to see, as you came to find out. There were lands covered in blankets of deep shadow and physical fear, bogs that would take the appearance of groves simply to trick all those who enter. There were tears in the sky that melted every night, according to Lae’zel. Astarion had described the many gothic manors and mansions that he had visited and admired. Gale of Waterdeep took no joy in restraining himself from speaking of his many accomplishments- most of which involved seeing something so beautiful, so rare- that he risked the Gods smite. 

Your boots were from Baldurs Gate, and they were not necessarily made for the mud that you trekked through. They were scratchy and tight, but the laces were coming loose. If you ever saw the city again, you swore you’d get a new pair. What an ‘if’ that was. But you were no complainer. You swallowed dryly, shouldered your bow and sword and continued onward silently. 

“Need something, friend?” a voice called from beside you. A smile creeps over your lips at the voice. 

“Do you, Astarion?” you look at the elf now walking close on your left. He’s taller than yourself- mostly due to his long and prodding neck. You supposed he used such a feature for snooping and being nosey. 

Astarion scoffs out a chuckle, before his tone turns to defeat. “Oh, you caught me. I must admit, friend, I’ve grown quite bored.”

“Look at my shoes,” you sigh. “I’d rather be bored than inadequately dressed.”

“Mmm. Yes, how unfortunate. You know, I must say I would’ve thought you smart enough to get your own well fitting shoes by now. This little adventure hasn’t exactly been…”

“I know,” you tell him. “Say, what did we do with those boots from the Underdark? The red ones, with the little black and silver designs.”

Astarion is briefly silent in thought, though it’s not him that breaks it. 

“I’ve them.”

You and your elven companion turn your heads over your shoulders. Shadowhearts' face is solemn and gaunt- nothing out of the ordinary. Still, a certain regret lingered in her deep, dark eyes. Her beauty was matched only by the background behind her, which was nothing but darkness. Hair, long and inky, fell over her shoulder lazily. 

“Ah,” Astarion smiled wide, showing off his pointy canines. “I was just wondering when you would join our conversation. So tell us, what is it you’ve done with the things?”

Shadowheart stayed silent. Her pace quickened, her own greaves and boots were metal and solid in the mud- built for it. On your right, she materialized like a dream, though she did not turn to look at you. 

“I took the boots,” Shadowheart explains matter-of-factly. “They grant the wearer intense bouts of speed and pursuit- hardly a trophy to simply leave behind. I might loan them to you… should you require them.”

You blink, trying to find your words. “Might?” you settle on. 

One step, two step, three and four. The upward hill you battle to hike reaches its peak, slanting downwards once more. From up here, you can see only a bit more than you might’ve thought. The lands your party currently crossed through were completely devoid of light and life, and so although you could confirm the sight of a large lake, you (nor any other member of the party) was able to register the important details of the environment before you. You all continued walking downhill without skipping a beat, unbothered at the thought of imminent death. 

It happens in an instant. Your armored knuckles brush against the metal of Shadowhearts' own hand. No, not a brush- a touch. It reverberates up your fingers and straight to your brain, where it’s stored deep in your memory without you even realizing it. It even produces a soft, but undeniable noise. 

Your eyes snap to hers, wide and alert. “Apologies, my lady,” you urge quickly. “I did not mean-”

Shadowheart stops suddenly. She stands in front of you, Astarion and Wyll wandering onward seemingly unaware- or perhaps simply uncaring. Now shorter than you at the incline, the young woman looks up at you with her piercing orbs. 

“You need not worry on it,” Shadowheart tells you, and for some reason it seems, at this moment, that she is only ever talking to you. Your lips part, looking back at her. The Justiciar’s own light green gaze is flitting between your own eyes, and you can’t help but feel yourself growing distracted off her face alone. 

The woman’s face was porcelain pale, delicate but well put together. Her cheekbones were high and soft, dappled with freckles that Shadowheart hoped no one would notice. Her lashes were generous and thick- just the same with her eyebrows. Her lips were shaped like a heart. Gods, her lips. They were tantalizing, even chapped and chewed on like now. Not even the scar cutting across her cheek and nose was enough to deter from her otherworldly beauty. How were you supposed to resist such a temptation so close by?

You cared too much for the young woman to trample in on her faith. You had traveled with Shadowheart long enough to see it was one of the few things that she cared for. Shar this and Shar that… You were no Shar. What pain could you possibly alleviate of Shadowhearts’? What void could you introduce her to? The answer was simple: none. You were no match for the Dark Justiciar, and even if you were, she would not allow you to be. 

“I apologize again, my lady,” you tell her, a firm whisper. 

Shadowhearts' eyes shift between your own for another moment longer, brief and fleeting. “You might wish for some healing, if it is to be a while before we see those boots again.” She slips a glove from her lithe hand- you catch a glimpse of the plum wound buried in the center- and says, “May I?”

You swallow dryly again. Water, your brain wishes. Instantly, your prayers are answered as saliva flushes your mouth. 

Shadowheart presses the palm of her hand to the base of your neck, where your armor leaves a sliver of your skin exposed. Her hand is cold, colder than anything you’ve ever felt. Yet, your body warms as her lips begin to chant.

You can feel the blood rush to your feet. Blisters that have lined your heels and toes and soles for weeks diminish in seconds, leaving your feet to settle more comfortably in your wear. The two sore heaps previously referred to as your legs alleviate themselves instantaneously. Even the sweat, stinking and insidious, brewing beneath your armpits slips away silently to the wind. 

Eyes could not be torn from the half elf in front of you if they were taken straight from your head. Your gaze is locked and fixed on Shadowheart, though you cannot find the words. Shall you thank her? Ask for her hand? Attempt to engage in a heart to heart conversation? No, control yourself. You bite down on your lip, hard, but with Shadowhearts’ healing hand lingering over your sternum, the blood does not stay for long. You watch her finish her prayer. 

“There,” Shadowheart looks up at you once more through her dark lashes. “You just seemed a little… parched.”

The Dark Justiciar holds your eye for a few seconds longer. Then she steps away. 

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Before Selune blessed the Earth with the light of the sun, there was nothing. Faerun, and everywhere else, was well a part of Shar’s domain of darkness. When her ethereal twin betrayed her by inventing life sustaining fire, the change was instant and could not be ignored. 

Shadowhearts story seemed the opposite. She had been close to the light once, she supposed- closer. She’d resented herself for it at the time; so, Shadowheart chose to bring herself closer to the dark. She chose to be as close as she could. She wanted to sit side by side with her mother, spear in hand, and quench her thirst on the blood of moonmaidens. Though, no such feat had come to pass. Shadowheart was not foolish. She understood it was a change that would take time to see such accomplishment. But had she not made it clear that there was no doubt? Shadowheart would slaughter a thousand nightsongs if it meant being Shar’s chosen. 

And yet, she felt more unhappy with herself than she had before. She resented herself. 

In the mornings when she’d wake early, Shar’s voice might whisper instructions in Shadowhearts’ pointed ear. 

“You are to suffer,” the low voice would guide. “To hate until you are released to loss, child.”

Shadowheart obeyed. 

In the nights when Shar’s power rose strong, her Justiciar would feel Shar’s thoughts as if her own. 

“You are to breathe in the darkness,” the low voice would guide. “To ponder on your wrongdoings until you might see clearly.”

Shadowheart obeyed. 

It was what she had wanted. But now that she was alone, Shadowheart was lonely, and not even herself was reliable for comfort any longer. 

Luckily, there is always you. 

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“Shadowheart!” you cry, lurching forward. “Wait!”

Alarmed, the cleric whips her head to yours. Shadowheart had not sensed anything more out there besides vague harm- certainly nothing close enough to warrant such urgency out of you. You need to catch up with the two boys, lest you end up hunting monster and monster hunter simultaneously. But your face shows no such concern for those things. Your eyes lower slowly from Shadowheart to the ground by her feet. 

Yes, there, beneath the greaves spattered in blood and leather soles reeking of death, was a flower. 

The thing was light, almost glowing, and a beautiful wisteria shade. It grew somewhat tall, with sharp leaves and petals like bells that only grew more midnight and lilac colored the deeper they went. Shadowheart let a small gasp slip from her lips. 

Slowly, as if you were dealing with a skittish, stray cat, you bend down into the dirt. As you pluck the flower from its stem, the smell of vanilla and musk swells the air. You stand eye level with the young woman in front of you, whose stare flits between the flower to your armor. 

“A night orchid,” you say. Shadowhearts’ favorite. “May I?”

The holy warrior looks at you sharply. 

You press it, holding her gaze with a soft and warming smile, to her palm. You can feel her heartbeat through her skin, excitedly in time with your own. Finally. 

“I…” she begins, but you turn your head to the side, waving her off. 

“It’s nothing,” you insist as you step away. “Wouldn’t want you to step on your favorite flower. I’m sure your Goddess would understand.”

Shadowhearts’ green eyes dance, though not with any emotion you’ve seen before within her. 

You smile again. “Let’s get you to Baldurs Gate.”

The young woman watches intently as you continue down the hill, clutching the purple flower tight in her hand. 

[arkethamz]

Antonio doodle/info dump since he was around last month :3

left is the most recent doodles before i knew he'd be coming back

right is the first drawings of him (coincidentally exactly a year ago from June 1st)

more uncolored doodles n sketches. i kinda draw Antonio the most, but i rarely post about him (been gatekeepmaxxing)

last drawings that i actually still kinda like.. i have much more, i just don't like how they look anymore lmao

rambling wall of text infodump below the cut cuz i am just so autistic about this character LMAO sorry i'm a yapper-

anyway, contrary to popular belief, Antonio is actually my favorite RP character. just in general. and i've never actually seen him live until the other day. unbeknownst to me, i was waiting for a whole year to be able to actually see him live, i think i was more excited about it than cc!anthony was 💀

which might contribute to my love for him bc i had to piece him together like a puzzle from everyone else's POVs and clips n stuff. so at first i didn't want him to come back bc i was afraid he'd be different from the Antonio i made up in my head... but then. i haven't sat n watched, at mostly full attention, a whole stream for 7 hours in a while LOL

when i watched cc!buddha's rdrp vods a year ago n saw Antonio, i thought to myself "oh no... Tony isn't actually my new muse is he...?". and for a while i didn't draw him bc i didn't have any ideas + i didn't really know how to draw him. but i did know that when i did learn how to draw him, it'd be over for me (i wouldn't want to draw anyone else, and i was right oops 😭)

my idea of Antonio is he's just a dumb, impulsive, silly little theatre kid that got wrapped up in being an outlaw bc of Wu n Dot after his house burned down. they woulda been moving around in old box cars wherever the trains took them. Dot dies before the events of WildRP(headcanon), and Wu to me, is the autistic kid that follows Antonio around bc he talks a lot n has charisma lolol. also, to me, Wu is not as evil as he was intended to be, he just follows in Sonny's footsteps who's calculated n violent. While Antonio chooses Cesare's path to be more diplomatic and focuses more on his reputation. Antonio can't win a fight to save his life, and i love him for it. he thinks he's scary n dangerous, but to me, he couldn't hurt a fly hehe. i mean, one of the first things he did in the crossing was host a talent show at the local theatre. i'm a big fan of pathetic men, what can i say.

speaking of, i love how pathetically in love he is with Renni. and i love how, despite how much they like each other, they never actually get together n still respect each other as friends. they are the embodiment of the saying "if you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours" but without the last part.. they are so tragic to me.

in the last 3.5 years of watching rp, i've never had any character or character dynamic make me cry. like, as much as i love how doomed n toxic Donnie/Lang is, i've teared up a bit, but they've never made me cry just thinking about them. but Antonio, n by extension, his relationship with Renni, has made me cry multiple times just thinking about them 😭 and yeah, i cried the other day when Antonio was thinking about Renni LOL

idk why he's the character that changes my brain chemistry, but uh. he is. i've literally never rambled about a character so much online, sorry for the great wall of text bc of it.. i'm usually masking so hard a lot of the time, but i've been wanting to talk about Antonio for so long with no one to yap to so, yknow.. he gets me to unmask and i also love him for that :']