#its been a long time coming it originally broke like 5 years ago

[eonian-nightmare]

Okay, yes the new episode was alot but its making me think about time and space and science again. Like our resident scientist often does. And like.... can we talk about how everything with carlos related back to "time".

Like okay, let's talk seriously, we know that Carlos has had a few interactions with weird timelines

He was apparently missing from the main world for decades.He was in the DOW for 10 years, He didn't age in nightvale for a large portion of the time he was there.

But that's hardly scrapping the bottom of the barrel. Like honestly, has anyone sat back and thought seriously about this, about why everything about carlos comes back to time.

He'll, his first major interaction with us was him trying to pick apart and measure time in a realm he was not used to. He got annoyed when cecil told him to just drop it. It's almost like he wanted to control it.

And that's kind of what he was trying to do in the DOW wasn't it?. Like honestly. Think about the logic behind the science used to measure time there. It's a place where the sun never sets, time literally works different from where he's used to, the place was barren. He would have had to literally do so much testing to even just get a vague concept of time there vs nightvale. And it would've taken so long. It would've been quite scientifically interesting. Maybe even more so than nightvale purely due to this.

We could talk about the fact that one of the only things we've heard about carlos family is that his mother gifted him a clock?

How his first major gift to cecil was a watch that beat nightvale logic and could tell the time.

Can we think about how almost every special rant he has involves time in one way or another?

Can we talk about for some reason carlos' memory is never affected with timeline changes?

Can we talk about how he fixed the issue with telly and the time line, or how simply he said he would keep trying and fighting against time if cecil didn't remember him when he forgot.

Can we mention that 5 years ago carlos was supposed to be 41, but at the same time had somehow reached the level of professor and had tenure, and managed to disappear for decades. Or the fact when he told cecil he'll find his way back to him when stuck in the DOW, he was talking about hours, days, weeks, months as if it's all the same and doesn't matter?

Can we mention how the person carlos loves the most struggles with the concept of time. Has memory blanks, a fear of ageing, gets scared to look in the mirror, doesn't like keeping track of how long has past, has had numerous issues where he's gone through time and been unable to tell how long exactly has passed.

Can we talk about how nightvale was originally destroyed, how it broke time and space and pulled itself apart.

Can we talk about how something happened before carlos arrived here, something he hates talking about, something to do with a massive Phantom ocean. Can we talk about the quote from Dracula "I have crossed oceans of time to find you"...

Anyway.... I think we should talk about time more,

[onewmin]

the perfume on the shelf. pt. 6 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, Smut (minors dni), it’s not specified but the seggs is protected, a lot of kissing, oral (f. receiving), profanity, angst, a brief mention of self-harm, the reader and everybody else is mentally unstable (who isn’t right), mentions of alcohol and drinking, mentions of smoking, Lee Know flirts with a girl, another shitty cliffhanger in the end, typos

Author’s note: originally, this part was planned to be longer and cover the period after the ending, but I felt like it would’ve been too much. It’s not as long as I wanted it to be and maybe not that heartbreaking, but the pain still awaits you later hehe hope you enjoy the chapter!! Let me know what you think!!

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 5 | Part 7

Despite Chan’s constant doubts and destructive thoughts about you still being in love with Yugyeom, that was far from the truth.

Yugyeom was a lingering memory, a bright sun ray that shone to you many years ago. Now he was just there, in the past, while Chan himself had occupied the pedestal inside your heart.

However, you really wanted him to fall down from it this time.

It’d been three weeks since he pushed you off the cliff of love and hope, leaving you to an inevitable, gruesome fall. You fell down from the highest peak into the lowest pit, and there was nothing. Just darkness and loneliness. Although the latter was not for long.

A couple of days after Chris broke up with you, Minho showed up at your door, bottles of beer in his backpack. You got drunk while watching another stupid reality show and ended up crying on the floor, the two of you sobbing in unison.

“He said to me”, Lee Know hiccuped, wiping the tears from his cheeks, “he said, ‘You’re an asshole, Minho’”, his imitation of Chan’s voice was so on spot, you let out a half-laugh through your tears.

“I’m an asshole? For putting up with his terrible dancing and constant nagging that his feet hurt?” Minho was hitting his chest with the fist, the two of you now sitting on the couch. “For sticking with him when his first album flopped? For investing my time, my life in his fucking career?”

You were nodding frantically, chewing the chips, the cheese taste mixing up with salty aftermath of the tears, streaming down your face.

“Never have I ever been an ass to him! Ever!” The tone of his voice rose, cracking when he started sobbing again. “And now he basically fires me! Me! His best friend!”

“No fucking reason”, Minho was lying on the floor again, with you sitting next to him. “Just this sudden bullshit. Why would he do this to me? To you? To us?”

You shrugged your shoulders, taking another sip of beer from another bottle. Was it your third? Fourth one?

“I can’t understand what’s inside his head”, he sighed. “Is it the concussion speaking for him or was he like that the entire time?”

You took a deep breath and exhaled in response. Weeks spent crying and drinking with Minho at both yours and his places, talking shit about Chan and how unfairly he treated the both of you. And neither you, nor Minho had come to any sort of common conclusion. He stood his ground, stomping his feet drunkenly, his words slurring, saying Chris might’ve hit his head so bad that all of the common sense flew out of the window.

You noticed a slightly hilarious pattern: Minho was ready to come up with any bizarre theory in order to excuse Chan’s behaviour. He pushed the both of you away because of the concussion, Lee Know was confident that was the truth. You, however, couldn’t agree with him.

The more you drank after work, the more you threw up afterwards, sitting on the dirty tile floor of whatever bar you were in, the less you could excuse Chris. Sure, he suffered from the aftermath of the accident, this you could understand. But his sudden change of demeanor? Beyond your comprehension. No therapist in the world could’ve explained this to you. Yours included.

“Don’t you think this is a sign you’ve been waiting for? The sign to leave this guy and move on with you life?”

Ah, crap. Could this woman not memorize everything you say? “I don’t think so”.

“Why’s that?”

“Because, I think, he’s just hurt. And he’s trying to push everyone away so that… So that we don’t see him… like this”.

Oh wait, was it your savior complex hitting up again? How mysteriously hurt poor Chan must have been! Pushed everyone away, humiliated his best friends in their own eyes, and told you he lost interest the second his love stopped being unrequited! Poor Chan! How must he suffer!

Oh yeah, he must. Sitting at another bar, Minho’s drunken ranting as the background music, you wished with all your heart Chan was suffering. He put you through so much, making you love him, care for him, and then he made you hate him. To be honest, though, “hate” was a strong word to use; hating him was still impossible. You despised the man he turned out to be, even if he lied to you about ‘falling out of love’ for some reason.

“What fuckin’ reason there has to be to say that shit? What’s the fuckin’ fuck?”

The look on your therapist’s face gave away her genuine surprise at your sudden loss of composure. In over than two years of therapy, you had never even cried during sessions. You’d curse, get slightly angry, but never too emotional. You called this an ‘emotional constipation’, just to make your therapist crack a smile. A clown is always a clown, you’d say, taking pride in getting her to laugh. Although the fun would always wash away when she immediately started writing stuff down.

“Go on”.

Two simple words would bring you to the literal edge of glory: you jumped from your seat, aggressively walking from one corner of the room to another, curse words spilling from your mouth; also, of course, you blamed god for everything — if you could, you’d include your religious trauma in every conversation possible.

“If God was real”, you’d keep on, “would he ever allow Chan in my life? Would he ever let that happen?”

“Did God choose to be in a relationship with Chan, or was it you?”

How dare she? “How dare you?” You stood up, snatching your bag from the floor. “Am I the bad guy here?”

“No”, she said softly, not even moving a muscle during your tantrum, “you’re not, but you desperately want someone to be the bad guy. You cannot paint Chan as a villain because you love him”, you huffed at her words, “but you don’t love the God. So in this case, the latter has to be the bad guy. Correct me, if I’m wrong”.

She was not indeed wrong. But you were resisting therapy: if not, you’d have to face the truth — there were no bad guys. Everyone was just human, making human mistakes. The ones you’d been constantly making while choosing to stay in this relationship with Chan over and over again.

Like him fixing your dinner three months in a row after he came back from tour. Or him helping you take showers when your leg was broken. Or taking care of your cat when you went to see your parents.

He was doing basic shit! Basic shit every decent human being would do when their close friend needed that! Although it’s pretty hard not to praise men when they do the bare minimum, right? ‘Cause it’s so rare. Rare for you specifically, as every man in your life — apart from Yugyeom and Chan — was a self-centered piece of garbage.

And you could take Yugyeom for granted, as he wanted you to have it that way, because he saw the way your father treated your mother — “You’ve got to have an example of a healthy relationship. And I will give it to you”.

Why did he leave then? Why did you leave and led me to keep on falling for the mere shadows of you, Yugyeom?

You shook your head, trying to get rid of the thought. Lately you’d been remembering a lot of things about Yugyeom — probably because you met him all those weeks ago. The most disturbing thought? Oh, it wasn’t that good. It was horrible, so horrible that you had to physically distract yourself.

“Why did you order more drinks?” You looked at Minho, who leaned back in his seat, eyes wandering around the bar room. “Earth to Minho”, you waved your hand in front of his face, while he was staring through you. “I’ll cancel it”.

“No!” Your eyebrows raised in question, as he jumped up from his seat. “This bottle will be the last one, I swear”. Minho grabbed your hands in his, silently begging to let him have the last drink. However, you were not going to indulge in; you found yourself getting accustomed to drinking, to drowning your sorrows in the alcohol. You were tired of it.

You were never the type to get addicted to some bad habits: smoking never stuck to you; you did smoke for a couple of months after your breakup with Yugyeom and you did it occasionally during your latest relationship, but it was never something you couldn’t live without. Drinking, on the other hand, could become addictive if you just didn’t quit it.

How easy it was, to sit around the table with your friend, sipping on alcohol, empty bottles creating a circle on the surface. Eventually you’d run out of space, and that was the reason to pay and leave. Same thing happened to you several years ago, when Yugyeom and you put an end to your relationship; Chan had to drag you from bars and hide alcohol from you so that you wouldn’t have drown in pain. Yeah, you couldn’t get an addiction, as you thought. But you were becoming quite a regular at a broken hearted people pub.

Amidst your verbal fight with Minho, whose retorts consisted of non-comprehensive drunken blabbering, his hands gripping the beer bottle while you were trying to tear it away, you heard a familiar voice behind you. As happy as you were to hear her, the sound of her high-pitched, usually matter-of-fact voice somehow brought chills down your spine.

“That’s enough”, Eunjoo moved you to the side, the grip of her hand on your shoulder making you squeeze your eyes shot. Has she been working out? “Give me that”, she took the bottle from Minho’s hands with almost no effort, as he seemed to oblige to her mere presence. His eyes followed Eunjoo, when she put the money on the table, her fingers tucking a strand of black hair behind her ear. You might have been tipsy, however, the way Minho stared at your best friend couldn’t escape from your attention.

“What’re you doin’ here?” You frowned at her, while Eunjoo observed Minho. Oh right, it was the first time you old best friend and your new bestie met; before that you had no idea whatsoever, but now you thought that they kind of had the same vibe to their personalities.

“Came to collect you”, she replied. What? First she uses a contraction, and now she starts a sentence without the subject in it? Is it really Eunjoo?

“To be honest”, she continued, “I’m really tired of your regular hangovers. Especially I’m tired of your absolutely fucked out look at our job. Where you need to work, and not nap every two hours”. What the literal fuck? Did Eunjoo just curse? Wha-a-at? “I wonder, why you’re still not fired. Oh wait”, she pointed a finger in your direction, “it’s because I’ve been covering for you”.

You sighed. Knowing that it wasn’t the best thing you’d done, you felt the wave of embarrassment rush through your body. Eunjoo had to cover your hangover in front of the boss, and you were forever grateful. If only you had actually thanked her for that.

“Anyways, I’m here to take you home”, this time, her touch on your shoulder was gentle. “And this… friend of yours, too”.

“I’m Minho”. He suddenly appeared in front of Eunjoo, almost pushing you away. You grimaced at his awkward attempt to get her attention.

Eunjoo nodded in response to his words; she didn’t look as if he’d interested her in any way. Hopefully, he won’t, you thought, fastening the seatbelt on the passenger seat of her car, Minho might be a good friend, but his dating history is pretty ugly.

Oh yeah? And Chan’s dating history is all about rainbows and flowers? Isn’t he the one to toss girls away when they reciprocate the love?

You let out a deep sigh, Minho’s drunken flirting with Eunjoo serving as a background for your thoughts. With all the love you had for Chris, either as his friend or failed lover, it was impossible to wrap your head around the bullshit he told you. You wished you could talk it out, spill your secrets and unsaid words, but he didn’t want to. He went radio silence for weeks without any warning, so he wasn’t interested anymore, right?

It isn’t like you could text him, yeah? It isn’t like a dialogue requires two people for it to happen, is it?

After dropping off Minho at his place — and his unsuccessful attempts to get Eunjoo number — she drove you to your apartment. The ride was accompanied by a midnight radio program with the very familiar host to the both of you.

“How’s Youngjae doing?”

“Fine. As far as you can hear, he enjoys his job very much”. Ouch. Your attempt to break the silence was a failure.

“Eunjoo-“

“Shut up”, she hit the brakes at the red light, her sharp knife voice cutting through you. “I get it, okay? You’re going through a tough time”. Youngjae’s contagious laugh filled the car, but this time, none of you smiled. “But you’ve got to move on too. If you keep on drinking, you’ll lose your job. And what are you going to do, huh? Is this Minho going to give you money? Or, d’you think Chan will do it?”

You shook your head, eyes squeezed shut, head low. Felt as if your mother had been scolding you. Only Eunjoo knew you better than your mom did, and Eunjoo was actually sincere and worried about you. She was your best and only real friend, after all.

“You’re smart”, she took a turn to your apartment complex, “smarter than all of those guys. Smarter than Chan”. The car stopped at the parking lot, both of you sat in silence for a moment.

“Don’t waste your life on chasing someone who doesn’t want you”, she covered your hands with hers. “Don’t drink your life away because he decided you weren’t good for him. You might be not enough for this asshole, but you’re certainly enough for everyone else, for me, for yourself. He’s not worth your suffering”.

Your eyes welled up at the words. Pulling her in for a hug, you had to blink rapidly to avoid another crying session.

“Thank you, Eunjoo. Thank you for everything you do for me”.

She hugged you tighter. “You’re always welcome. I know how hard it is for you to say this, and I’m thankful, too”.

“You may take all of the time in the world to overcome this pain”, the two of you were face-to-face again, “you shouldn’t bottle your emotions up. Just… Just talk to me instead of drinking, okay?”

You nodded, a smile creeping up on your lips. Eunjoo’s cousin laughed again, his radio program turned into another comedy show, and the two of you giggled at him. Never in your many failed friendships and toxic friends would you think a girl with a rigorous attitude with whom you had to share the same space at work, could be your closest friend.

Your cat greeted you with serious complaints and loud purrs, obviously demanding food and attention. Several minutes passed before you took your clothes off and stepped into the shower.

Chan used to say that showering together would help saving water, and you always chuckled at his proposals. It’s not like you ever rejected his shenanigans; you didn’t indulge in shower sex, but being naked with him under the water was another intimate moment to cherish.

You hated how everything was about him. Every surface of your flat was interwoven with the memory of him, his fingers squeezing your hips, lips brushing over yours, head in the crook of your neck. He was with you in the shower; he was cooking in your kitchen; he was sprawled on your couch, watching another episode of that dating reality show; he was snoring in your bed, his legs atop of yours. There wasn’t a single place in this apartment that he hadn’t graced with his touch. And you despised yourself for still craving his presence, even after all the pain he caused you.

Brushing your teeth, your brain visualized Chan behind you, a toothbrush in his hand, the other wrapped around your waist. Every little action of his was engraved in your head, not letting your breathe even for a second. How were you supposed to move on when the only thing you see was Chan?

“Do you want to move on?” Your therapist asked you.

“I don’t know”.

“Let’s put it into a different perspective. During your last conversation, he stated he’s been in love with you. Correct?”

“Yes”.

“He also said he liked the process of ‘chasing’ his potential partners. Correct?”

“Yes”.

“And he added that whenever someone reciprocated, he’d lose interest. That includes you. Correct?”

“Uh, yes”.

“After all of the above-mentioned, do you still believe he’s in love with you?”

“Yeah”, you breathed out, the voice of yours being unsteady. “I guess”.

“Why?”

“Because… Because”, you almost choked on your words, “he couldn’t fall out of love with me just suddenly. He couldn’t”.

Coming back to that conversation over and over again, you sat on the floor in your living room, tears falling down your cheeks. Was he ever truly in love with you, or was it another projection of yours? And if he was, how could he be so cruel?

A phone call distracted you from yet another sobbing section of your ‘pining over Chris’ daily program. Of course, only Han Jisung would call you at 1 A.M.

“Sorry for the late night call”, he said after countless apologies, “I just thought I should tell one of you”.

“Tell us what?”

“He’s insufferable”, Han whined, “I dunno what to do to bring him back to his normal self. He’s sulking, keeps being silent and just-“ You heard him sigh. “He’s constantly in his bed. Either sleeping or napping. Or he just lies there, watching the ceiling”.

You kept quiet for a swift moment only. “What d’you want me to do? Call his therapist or something”.

Jisung let out a nervous laughter. “Yeah, like his parents haven’t tried that already. He doesn’t speak to therapists”. Han’s heavy breathing signaled at him being on the verge of crying. Shit, Chan had fucked everyone over.

“He falls asleep quite often”, Jisung continued. “And he sleeptalks, y’know that. And when he does that, he only says your name”.

No. Ah-uh. No. Just no. Why would Han say that?

“So please, if you can, just come and see him. You want him to get better too. I know that”.

Your phone was on the floor next to you, as you scratched you nose to avoid crying. But your lip began to tremble, tears collecting in the eyelashes and everything turned into a blur — there were just your tears, and your wails muffled as you hugged your knees tightly. You used to get noise complaints for your loud moans of pleasure; however, now you’d get some more complaints for your almost-howls and incredibly hurtful sobs. Your chest was aching from the heavy breathing mixed with cries, and your jaw was in pain from open-mouthed inhaling and exhaling. That was a breakdown, such an extreme and terrible one that you couldn’t even see anything because of the amount of tears collected on your eyelashes.

If he was so hurt, why, why would he bring you so much pain? If he was so pathetic afterwards, why break up with you in the first place? Why? Why? Why?

Because he’s an asshole, your inner voice interfered, and because he doesn’t know how to express basic human emotions. You did your best for him, tried your hardest to overcome the most difficult thing — inability to express your emotions. You were there, on your knees in front of him in that hospital room, begging him to love you. Begging him to give the two of you a chance. But he rejected you back then. And now, what? He was mournful? Pining over you?

Ah-uh. He lost the right to it the second he shitted in your ears with that ‘the thrill expired’ bullcrap. He should’ve had a normal fucking conversation with you, talking about his feeling, working it out. But no, this asshole decided to leave you with a plate of shit and run away from human communication just to, what seemed like, die in complete loneliness. The loneliness he created himself. It was nobody’s fault but his.

“I hope he feels what I felt”, you mumbled while washing your face in the bathroom. It was still puffy, under eyes and lips red from all the crying you did; you cursed Han and his damn phone call. Why was he such a good friend? Oh yeah, probably because Chan hadn’t been a fucking butthead to him. Smart choice; otherwise, Mr. Bang would have no more friends left in his life.

You wouldn’t go and see him, right? “Right, of course I wouldn’t”, you stated out loud when raiding your closet in search of that lingerie set Chris loved. Just in case, you kept on telling yourself, I’m looking for it just in case.

You sat on the bed, wearing the said bra and panties, facing the mirror. Disheveled hair, a puffy face, your neck and chest red from all the nervous scratching you did in the last few minutes. It wasn’t like you were going to actually see him, right? And, what’s more important, you weren’t going to let him touch you again, were you?

“I’m not”, you were, as always when alone, talking to yourself; now, as you ran from the bedroom to the living room, dressing up, brushing your hair, you abruptly stopped mid your shenanigans.

Right in front of you, in your bedroom, on that bookshelf with all the books you’d bought but never read, was that damned perfume. Gently kept in between the books, so that your cat wouldn’t throw it on the floor, that perfume bottle was the most vivid proof of your and Chan’s relationship. The only thing, besides photos and gifts, that could transcend you to every moment spent with him. You hated this fucking perfume.

Spraying some on your skin, just on the back of your neck and your wrists, you put it in the bag. You petted your cat, promising you’d come back just in a couple hours, and then the lights in your apartment went off, keys turning in the door.

What the hell were you doing? One call from Jisung, swearing Chris was suffering without you, and? You were wearing that lacy lingerie under your clothes, clean-fucking-shaved, smelling like his favourite perfume, riding in the cab? That’s how easy it was?

You shook your head, disagreeing with your own thoughts. You were desperate to feel him again, to wrap your hands around him, to kiss his plushy lips, to run your hands through his hair. You needed that more than air, but you also couldn’t keep this up just in the name of love.

He was your temple, taking up all of the space in your life. Everything was about Chan, every day of yours accompanied by the presence of him. In those several months of being with him, you found yourself behind the closed doors; you locked them with your own hands. Cancelling plans just in case Chan called? Done. Not communicating with some of your old friends just because they didn’t like Chris? Do-o-ne. You practically had no hobbies by now, because your only hobby had been Chris, and how to keep him interested, and how to make him laugh, and how to make him fall in love with you.

How unhealthy was that?

So now you were going to end it. For good. You were ready to take the last leap and jump, just to get it over with. ‘Cause no matter how much you loved him, you were exhausted. And no amount of love could outweigh the tiredness this relationship had brought you.

And you were there. Staring at Chan, who was wearing his gray pajama pants and nothing more, dumbfounded look on his face. You couldn’t but notice a slight bulge, and you swallowed, images of him floating around your mind.

He let you in, still not a word said. You put the bag on the drawer, quickly putting the perfume bottle on it. You’d leave it here; if he was so desperate to see you, next time he could just spray some perfume around to pretended you were there. You were going to leave this perfume to him, because to you, it was too hurtful to even look at.

You turned around to face him. In the dim light of his apartment, Chan looked pathetically beautiful, as if he’d been a God, sent to Earth just to become your fatal personal tragedy.

One step further. You were right in front of him, hands carefully cupping his cheeks. He watched you with caution, as if you’d been a hallucination, destined to turn into air the moment he dared to touch you.

Today would be the last time he ever lands his hands on your body. The last time you ever let him this close.

No words exchanged between the two of you, when he leaned in, his lips lingering over yours, just slightly touching. Your eyes darted from his lips to his eyes, and there it was. With that simple look, he squeezed your waist and pounced on your lips. You dived in, letting his tongue meet yours in a passionate, i-missed-you-so-much dance. You kissed and kissed, and the only thing you could taste on his lips was betrayal. Because no matter what he was doing now, the memory of him torturing you with his words would forever be engraved in your mind.

When you finally broke the kiss, he was looking at you with a wide smile on his face. Oh, darling Chris, you thought, insinuating yet another heavy kiss, this is not a make up type of situation. You’re getting dumped tonight.

Your back was against the wall, his hands under your shirt, dancing on your bare skin, but not touching where you needed him. Between lips nibbling, him trailing kisses down your chin, teeth grazing down your neck, you could feel the pool of arousal in your panties. Chris could feel it too.

Now your back was against the mattress, his silky sheets welcoming you back in their embrace. Chan was hovering over you, looking you deep in the eyes, touches lingering all over your body, as if you were made out of porcelain, as if he was scared to break you. Too late for that, the inner voice stated, while you roamed your hands all over his body, you already broke me, Chris.

Withholding this intense eye contact while taking off your jeans, Chan let out a gluttural sound, almost a growl, when he saw black lace panties — the set he bought you himself. He trailed kisses from your knees up to inner thighs, humming into your skin. He sharply sucked the same skin into his mouth, marking you as always. Some of the bruises looked like stars when fading away, and you used to think your thigh scars, left there by your teenage self, were vanishing under the love bites Chris was leaving.

But the stars did fade away, and the scars stayed. Under the stars, you were still bleeding — but this time it seemed to be unstoppable; you felt as if you could die from all of that internal bleeding.

A tender kiss Chris left on your yet closed core got you arching your back, your hand immediately landing on his head, fingers in his soft curls. You knew he was smiling when taking off your panties, and you felt it when he left soft kitten licks on your now dripping pussy.

He responded to your moans with a hum, sending vibrations all over your body. You tugged on his hair.

“Are you going to actually fuck me tonight?”

These were the first words uttered tonight. Chris grinned and took his pants off in one swift movement. His dick, hard and leaking with pre-cum, seemed to hypnotize you. You briefly noticed saliva running down his chin from all the excessive sloppy kisses he’d been giving your folds and a smug smile on his face — all just ‘cause he got to taste you again.

“I’m going to”, his knee was between your thighs now, “fuck you senseless”. He tugged on your earlobe with teeth, making you moan into his shoulder.

Slipping a finger inside your slit, Chris caught your whimper by his mouth, covering your lips with his. His thumb pressed to your clit, drawing circles around it, and you almost lost the thin thread connecting you to the harsh reality. It was your last time with Chris. Last time kissing him. Last time being his girl.

“Oh, fuck”, Chan groaned, when you reached for his cock. The mere touch of yours made him twitch and stop all of his movement to keep his composure. “You’re killin’ me, baby”, he rasped, head buried in the crook of your neck.

No matter what he said, you still battled with your reasonable self: she told you not to lose focus, to get pleasure but to never forget — you were leaving him for good. Your emotional side, however… She was already on the cloud nine, willing to obey to any command Chan requires from you. But even her, this bubbly and sweet self of yours — even she knew this pleasure would turn into pain later. Although she didn’t mind loving Chris, even she couldn’t be in love with him any longer. Even your tender persona had found out how much pain Chan inflicted on you.

Pushing in his girthy cock into you slowly, Chris stared right into your soul, observing the way your face expression changed. Your mouth fell open, eyes hazily watching him mirroring you, his grip on your hips tightened. You’d have crescent marks in the morning — the last signs of your love with him ever existing.

Finally, swallowed by warmth, Chris bottomed out, letting you adjust, as you gripped him, head thrown back. He peppered kisses all over the side of your neck, hands massaging your breasts slowly, pinching nipples to make you gasp.

As he sluggishly thrusted into you, Chan couldn’t take his eyes off you. You knew he was watching, as he always did, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to stare back at him. You wanted to cum, not to cry.

As he felt you getting comfortable enough, Chan set a pace, massaging your inner walls in a frantic tempo. You squeaked every time he hit that spot, burying himself deep inside of you. You grinded against him, begging for more friction, as your nails left marks all over his shoulders.

“This is what you want?” His thumb started drawing circles on your clit, your composure long lost under the thick layer of pleasure.

Except for your mewls and Chan’s groans, the sound of skin on skin clapping was filling in the room. Although the way your pussy squelched every time Chris pounded into you was the only sound you could hear.

“Shi-i-i-t”, he hissed, his cock throbbing inside of you, “I can’t g-get enough of y-you”, Chan stuttered, your walls fluttering around his cock made him lose his mind little by little.

“I love you”, he huffed, forehead pressed to yours, “I love you so fucking much”.

Savoring his words — words you hoped to hear every time you were this close, you couldn’t bring yourself to reciprocate. You wish you could give in and forget all of that like it was a bad dream. You wish you could. But you never would.

“Shut up”, your breath hitched as you pulled him in for another sloppy kiss.

You’d yield to temptation one more time, to feel his hot breath on your skin, to feel the shockwaves gripping your body as you saw the stars while he chanted your name, reaching his high. The sheer layer of sweat covering the both of you, Chris watched as your breath steadied and you got up on the wobbly legs.

“Wait for me in the shower”, he puffed, still laying on his back, eyes shut.

“I’m going home”.

You stepped out of the room, collecting your jeans from the floor when he appeared behind you. “What? Why?”

You sighed. “Do I really need to explain this to you? After everything you’ve done to push me away?”

“But I-I thought… You and I, we…”

“What? Fucked?” You put your jeans on and huffed at his words. “Doesn’t mean anything. Doesn’t mean I’m going to stay with you after you pushed me away”.

“I’m so sorry”, he whispered. Chan screwed up his face and sniffed, and deep inside you felt like shit for making him feel this way. “I’m an idiot, baby, I have no excuses. Just if-“

“No”, you retorted. “No. You’re only interested now ‘cause I’m out of reach again, aren’t I? ‘The thrill of chasing’, that’s how you call it?

“Baby…” His eyes were closed as he let out a deep sigh. Yeah, you fucked up big this time, Chris. There’s no way out.

“Is there anything, anything I can do for you to forgive me? Please?”

“Yes, there’s one thing. Disappear from my life forever”.

Taglist:

@heylookwhoitis @amaranth-writing @itstorimf @tenshimara

[joculine]

freshman year facebook rp groups and "dnd" friend circles.

its hard to dig back for that. i think it's gone, the original FB group. gone gone. i did a little digging and found a few image scraps, a big text dump.

there are a few others. i can track the freshman year dnd group i was in, from where it started, to all the scene kids showing off their dyed hair, trying to coordinate car pools to see like, the hobbit or whatever was out, dumb little FB post RP chats.

of course, the last post, the one at the top, is the post that killed the group. someone tried to start up a new campaign, i wanted to be a pirate, and then that shitty girl popped in and said "if its not awkward i would also like to be a part."

she kinda fucked up a lot of her friendships at the end of that year. looking back at how the dates line up, i imagine some very tough things were going on for her. she'd come out as trans in about a year or so and i know her parents were shit. its funny, i can dig into that old RP account i have and see she's actually still using hers as of this week. i think it's her primary facebook account.

i flip back through there and see all these messages about how she wants to kill me and beat me up and put me in cages and fuck me and hurt me. she talks unprompted about how she thinks im annoying or gross or dumb as shit and sends me whatever porn shes looking at. and then id go to school the next day and see her and we'd have a fun time. its sort of shocking to look at. but… shes a kid. maybe 14 or 14 years old. shes a huge asshole and really not a good person for me to be around, but shes still just a kid. and i know the same thing was happening to her, but unlike me it was coming from people she didnt know IRL and who were probably too old to be talking to her in the first place. i dont really know what to do with that in hindsight.. maybe i didnt at the time either...

anyway, on that post i see a lot of people commenting that we need to hash out our beef and reconcile. i didnt comment again though.

i look through all those messages and i see someone who is trying very hard to be liked. trying very hard to stay liked. kids are dumb. kids do dumb things to each other. it means a lot in the moment, but in the long run teenagers are just assholes. i think a lot of these people were especially shitty and occasionally both physically and verbally abusive. but they were the friends i had until i broke away. they were important to me.

i tried digging around a little more, to see if i could find my old messages with jack. (this is a different now tboy jack than the one i was posting about last week)

the messages go up to when we started texting. i dont really remember how long we dated and it was all online so was it really dating? ehh. no. i havent counted it since sophmore year. he was a good one though, better than most of the other people there. we both thought the other one hated each other, so we were both kind of mean in person in that way that tweens are. he moved before i ever got the chance to tell him how i felt in person.

its not easy. its not easy to all remember. it was all so long ago. i dont think i want to remember either. it was a time and a place where i felt so lonely.

im glad thats not where i am now. but i miss those people and that time. or i miss what could have happened, if it hadnt fallen apart or if i had made more of an effort or if things were just a little nicer.

its weird.. it was such a weird time to be a kid online. its still a weird time to be a kid online.

in a way, i almost miss it. i miss that thrill of being part of such a large group of people who all had different things going on and all had different relationships to each other. but when i really think about it...

i wish i had been who i had wanted to be. that i had known who i wanted to be. i wish i met these people on the level that they were beginning to come to themselves. i think everyone in that group had a 5 to 6 year headstart on figuring out their deals, as gay or, trans guys, butches, trans fems, etc. i was at bisexual, i know that much. but i retreated from that after i left that group, totally sealed off any thought that i was something other than straight and cis for... about six-ish years. i think it was too painful thinking about how i felt and how it feel apart to dwell on that part of myself that id had the fleeting chance to explore.

one guy there, the one who actually organized most of the RPs and the fanventure, was something else though. i think he knew who he was before anyone else. i think he knew who we all were before we did. he went across the spectrum of butch lesbian to GNC trans man and probably into other explorations of his identity since i knew him. i always found that really inspiring. it meant a lot that he saw me earlier this year when i came out publicly and shared in my joy. "im so happy for you." like he knew. like he always knew. maybe he did. maybe he didnt.

[crazy-loca-blog]

Sometimes life has its ways...

I met Bruno Mars' music back in 2010, right after he released his first album. I still remember listening to it and saying "I think this guy is going to have an amazing career". By the time I watched a live performance, I was blown away. I had to attend his concert.

Not so long after that, everything began to go downhill in my life: I made some terrible decisions regarding my job and I barely had money to afford the rent, I wasn't on speaking terms with my family, I didn't have people to rely on, I got pregnant (and then I had a miscarriage), and the guy I was seeing dumped me and began dating another girl a week later. I was completely alone in a 5 million-inhabitant city, and Bruno's music was helping me find some happiness during those very dark moments. It was therapeutic, you may say.

That's why I was devastated when Bruno announced his first show in town. I was completely broke and I couldn't afford a ticket. I didn't win any contests either. I cried so hard the day of that show because I couldn't be there! His music had been one of the few things that had helped me to keep going during that time, and I wasn't enjoying it as I would have liked to!

The story kind of repeated itself when he announced a second show, a few years later. The difference is that, when I had the money to buy my ticket, they were SOLD OUT!! I couldn't believe it!! And I'm too chicken to buy resale tickets. For the second time, I was out.

Three days ago, I had my revenge. And you would never believe what happened. When the tickets went on sale, I wasn't lucky enough and I didn't get a good spot in the queue, so when I had access to the site during the presale, everything was sold out, except for some crazy expensive nosebleed seats (and of course I bought them). I had originally thought about reselling them and getting some better spots during the general sale, but then I changed my mind for different reasons. Hey, I was happy because I was going to be at the show!

So that day I went to the stadium, and when the girl scanned my tickets at the door, she said "Oh! I need to talk to you! You know, there is a problem with your section. The stage blocks the view, so you won't see a thing. So if you want to, we'd like to relocate you. Would you like to be in the pit area?". And that's how, 5 minutes later, I went from the nosebleed seats to being almost in the front row. I even cried some happy tears, but it was raining so hard during the show that no one noticed it.

The week before the concert I was already a mess. I had been crying so much because of everything that meant attending that show. It wasn't just a concert. It meant healing, in a certain way. It meant looking at me and realizing how far I had come after those dark times. It was a reminder of my own strength to face difficult times. And OF COURSE, it was for sure one of the best nights of my life.

[mooifyourecows]

Hey moo :)

Can I ask a question? You moved into your house not that long ago right? Have you done any house projects since you moved in? Or discovered any house secrets?

Most of the weird house stuff was stuff that literally drew me to want to buy it in the first place tbh

Like the photos were pleasantly honest! (Which is great considering I bought this bitch ONLINE without ever seeing it in person hahaha 🫠)

Like I can tell that whoever made this house wanted to make something original and quirky and I'm in love with it. There are so many weird angles and design choices with zero rhyme or reason. like why do those walls connect at a 30° angle like that?? Why are there beams everywhere? What shape is that room even supposed to be???

It's just.. FUN. Literally when I saw the pictures on zillow for this place, I was like "weird!" But then saved it. And then returned to it over and over again while looking at other places and eventually I just knew it was the one. Like I couldn't get it out of my mind

But like, how could I pass it up? It was less than 200k$ and 2300 square feet on 5 acres of land down a wooded lane!! J-j-j-jackpot!

There are some totally weird and funky design choices and there's a lot I WANT to do.

Some examples (ignore lazy or nonexistent decorating, i havent gotten around to doing anything yet):

There's this nasty ass wall paneling throughout like 1/3rd of the house that looks like the walls of a motor home and I HATE IT. It's ugly and stupid and I tore off one panel to see what was underneath and guess what! It's normal wall! (Ignore hot lady calendar)

Except the glue from the paneling kinda ripped off parts of it but like THEY JUST GLUED THIS SHIT ON OVER WALLPAPER?? WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? JUST REMOVE THE WALLPAPER AND PAINT, ITS SO MUCH EASIER THAN THROWING UP THIS UGLY BULLSHIT. ugh

So like yeah I wanna remove all of that, but it's gonna be a big project because there's a LOT and some of it is underneath the cabinets in the kitchen. Yikes.

Pretty much every ceiling is tall and slanted in some weird way, which makes me dread painting because how am I supposed to paint super high up like that when I only got a 7 foot ladder???

The house is 1.5 stories too, which means that there's a partial upstairs that is essentially just a little loft thing that looks out over the living room and then this small, strange room we affectionately refer to as "Travis's room" for reasons I think will soon be obvious....

We will honestly probably have to hire a contractor to come look at this upstairs area because part of the ceiling is like... collapsing? And all gross and dirty? (Kinda visible in that second photo) It's not attached to the roof so like, the outside is fine and isn't leaking or in danger of caving in but idk it's just kinda weird and I have no idea what the thought process was for this whole upstairs area. Like what is this narrow little sliver of room here? (Ignore hot wheels tracks)

And the ceiling fan next to the staircase is SO CLOSE lmao if it's on and you lean even a little bit over the railing, you're getting brained. Like in this pic I'm not reaching out, just lifting my arm to touch it (ignore dust, I don't clean and you can't make me)

The living room is really big but it's also weirdly shaped so organizing my furniture is a nightmare. Especially since there's a pellet stove (currently not working) on one wall. (ignore dirty socks, mismatched cheap lamps, messy cat tree corner behind couch, big ugly coffee table I got for free that used to be black until I sanded it down but then got bored and left it as is)

As of right now, I haven't done much to the place because wow apparently home improvement takes effort and costs money??? Go figure. And we've been pretty broke lately so I've just been collecting ideas for the time being.

I am absolutely gonna start painting this year though. My bedroom rn is just boring white so I wanna fix that. Maybe do something dark and warm like a dark brown or green or hmm something like that. The room I've been calling the "gym" (because that's where I put the treadmill) will probably get done next since it's such a blank slate and should be easy to fix up.

And I absolutely want to mess around with my office because the way it's arranged and decorated rn is lame. They painted a bunch of rooms an ugly ass flat brown color, including several closets, my office, and the spare bathroom so THATS got to go.

I want to start decorating for real, finally buy some frames for the art I've been collecting so I can hang them up on some of these tall ass walls.

I also have plans to make a catio out back and even have a bunch of wood and some of the frames constructed but I got bored and abandoned it haha 😄

Oh and I want to reeeeally start doing stuff with the outside. I want to plant trees and maybe do a garden this year, tear up the plants I don't want and replace them with ones I do, clean up the big ass plot of land that's just overgrown brush and weeds and maybe make it into an orchard? Get some fruit trees and make some cute little rows? Maybe I'll even build a fence and a pond and put flowers everywhere. You know, for the bugs 💌🐝🐛🦋🕷

Now i just need to win a million dollars so I can afford to do it all 🥲

[druidberries]

sims get to know me tag !!

thank you sm @duusheen for tagging me 🥹💛

1. What’s your favourite sims death? cowplant lmao

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? I like maxis mix!

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? no

4. Do you use move objects? I can't build without it 😅

5. Favorite mod? this is super tough but I couldn't play without mccc and ui cheats!

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? outdoor retreat!

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? I feel like it's changed so many times throughout the years but lately it's been exclusively LIVing

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? a sim called Nex that I've never shared and Elowen! ofc lucine and flourish too but they're dnd characters before they are sims 😅

9. Have you made a simself? I did yearsss ago but she looks absolutely nothing like me lmao. I do kinda wanna try again tho?

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? I'm picking 5 bc that's how it should be in sims 4 *cough cough* family oriented, hopeless romantic, animal lover, geek, and socially awkward! I know some of those are sims 3 traits but its ok 😭

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? red and green! I have to resist the urge to give all my sims bright red hair 🫶 I love super dark black hair but it's such a hit or miss whether the swatch is gonna be gray, blue, or pitch black

12. Favorite EA hair? off the top of my head, I love the one we got with that sdx drop with the ombre roots and like 3 different high school years ones lol

13. Favorite life stage? I love infants bc 🥹🥹 but also teens and YA! even tho teens and young adults are pretty much the same 😐 it's one of the best parts of legacies when a child ages up into a teen!

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? gameplay and cas! I'm not great at building and only do it when I need to but creating characters and playing with families are my fav <3

15. Are you a CC creator? no lmao. I would like to make some more recolors but I only ever make them for personal use! maybe one day I'll release some 🤔

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I've met some really good people on here that I just adore talking to <33 and I always think of my mutuals as my lil sims buddies 🥺

17. What’s your favorite game? 2 and 4! sims 3 is so good but 2 has my heart.

18. Do you have any sims merch? I used to have those headphones with the plumbobs that changed based on your sims emotions and they were so nice but they broke yearssss ago :( other than that no unless we're counting the freezer bunny I'm crocheting lol

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? no :(( I've wanted to start a youtube channel since I was just lil child but I'm so scared 🙃

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? I honestly don't think I have a sim style? but I do think I've gotten better at making sims in general? I'm much better at using different faces and making sims look different now!

21. What’s your Origin ID? druidberries but i don't upload anything to the gallery

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? trillyke, simstrouble, ah00b, ratboy, simandy, squea, ladymoriel, praline and literally so many more I could go on forever

23. How long have you had a simblr? I've had tumblr for ages like lurking but I think I started my first simblr around 2016-2017? I used that one on and off for so long and I always lost motivation but finally what like 2 months? ago I made this one and got a nice clean fresh start 😌

24. How do you edit your pictures? I use photoshop and I pretty much always do topaz, noise, and sharpen, and then from there I decide if I wanna do some brightening or whatever. I do use actions sometimes too! I really have no clue what I'm doing when it comes to editing 😭

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? all of the occult packs ofc + growing together and cottage living <33 I also really love nifty knitting bc most of my sims knit lmao

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? I really want them to make a fairies pack 🧚‍♀️🫶

feel free to ignore this but I'm tagging: @buttertrait. @potionio, @aurorangen, @estah, @sinfulwunders, @salemssimblr, @duskiivy and @simlishpiadina

[monguntiacum]

For many decades, me wanting to be an writer has always been in my blood. I remembered I played Final Fantasy IX and saw how good it was, having many potentials but it was short and many opportunities was skipped with characters not being fleshed out and the plot doesn't seems like it's there. There is really no clear goal or story in this game.

I remembered trying to imagine Final Fantasy IX as a long story with in in depth characters and potential and how I wanted to create my own version of the game where I could write it and make a game out of it but my brain was too stubborn to come up with my own unique style. I then tried to find ideas only to find One Piece in 2004. After that I ended up wanting to create a story similar to that.

Now that almost 20 years passed, years of brainstorming, years of coming up with my own ideas, trying to get unique ideas, trying to avoid ripping One Piece off while I'm still weighed down by it, it got me almost no where. I wanted to create a story where a character has a goal, I wanted the main character to find that goal. Unlike Final Fantasy 9 where the story is not clear and had no strong goal.

When I discovered One Piece, I've tried to take some elements from the story to make a super long and deep story. Eventually One Piece overtook my brain and began to fall in love with the story.

So I decided to create Fable Round with One Piece as a base inspiration. However there are other inspiration such as Star Wars, Doctor Who, Digimon Adventures, Stranger Things, Adventure Time, Game of Thrones, Star vs Force of Evil, Loud House, Persona 5 and many others.

My goal is to create a story that does not rip One Piece off. However to be fair the story of One Piece was not original, it ripped of elements from other series and like every Shonen stories it tells the same stories over and over. One Piece is essentially Dragon Ball with pirates.

However the premise of Fable Round is similar to One Piece where Luffy wants to find the treasure called One Piece and become a Pirate King. Yincoln wants to uncover the lost continent to find the treasure called the Mark of Fable Round and write a book about it.

Here is the incomplete sample of the story:

15 years ago, the north eastern sea, an empire known as the Toring Empire collapsed, and its seven powerful generals found themselves under the wings of the terrorist group known as the Alagesia, which had begun its quest to overthrow the Republic.

12 years ago, an instructor of the Full Circle Academy, Onpa, along with her students, escaped the massacre with the mushroom. The mastermind of the massacre, Sarkin, one of the seven generals, gave chase to the brightwoods, where Onpa and her students reached the gate that leads to Cearth and threw the mushroom into the portal.

 

A young boy living on the island known as New Sun, just 70 miles east of the imperial city of Jorvik. He found the mushroom and showed it to his imperial admiral grandfather. He told him he shouldn't eat it, but the boy named Lincoln E. Redwood ate it, much to the grandfather's disgust. So he warned him not to display his powers. But later, Lincoln saw a man getting beaten up by a group of thugs. Feeling a sense of wanting to help, he transformed into a behemoth or humanoid and used his shockwave to push back the thugs. This frightened them away, but Lincoln collapsed. Suddenly, chatter about what happened shook the island, and Jorvik was notified of the incident and sent the imperial agents to investigate.

Knowing Yincoln would be killed, his grandfather tucked him in the barrel and threw him through the portal of Virginia, landing on the ocean. Due to sea stress, the barrel broke, and Yincoln drifted to an island, where he was found by a man named Gaius and his son Pierre.

Yincoln has no memory of what has happened or how he ended up on Va, but rather than want to go back home, he decided to stay on Va, feeling that he is meant to be there and that he has a strong connection to it. One day, Lincoln found a guardian bracelet. He tried it on, and it clapped around his wrist, shocking him.

Then two years passed.

Gaius is a trader who travels around the island with his shop at Eirewood. Yincoln would hear tales of adventures from travelers and pirates. At Eirewood, he noticed many pirate ships docked, and with a strong sense of adventure, he snuck into one of these ships, hoping he would go on a seafaring adventure.

 

However, only 40 miles west of Eirewood, he was discovered and brought to a captor named Yorke Rogers, the Blue Hat, along with his daughter Amy Wintoniensis. At first, Yorke wants to just dump Lincoln on some random island, but Lincoln transforms to defend himself. Before anything would happen, Onpa herself happened to be on the ship, seeing Yincoln with the power of the mushroom she sent to Cearth two years ago. Then the ship was attacked by enemy pirates, who kidnapped Amy. Yorke and his crew followed them to Lantern Island, where a battle took place. Yincoln attempted to join the fight but was not strong and got his face slashed by a pirate captain. Onpa killed the pirate captain, winning the battle and saving Amy. Yincoln then got his wound sown by Onpa. Eventually, the Yorke pirates headed back to Eirewood, where Lincoln reunited with Gaius and Pierre.

 

Onpa and Yorke were best friends, and she chose to sail with him to take a break from her instructor duties. Onpa has begun to tell Yincoln of her adventures as an instructor and a part-time pirate. She also handed him a book called "Adventures of the Rubber Boy". He and Pierre even developed relationships with Amy and Yorke. Onpa also taught him about the guardian bracelet. Guardians are archetypically people who are assigned to defend both Cearth and Va, but in truth they are essentially adventurers from Cearth who have the bracelet as proof of who they are with special duties. However, they have free will, meaning they can come out as criminals. While they have "special duties", there are no rules for being guardians, and they can do whatever they want. The value of freedom However, by Va standards, they are branded outlaws.

 

This inspired Lincoln to become an outlaw because just being a pirate is not enough. but he knew he had to wait until he was of age before he could officially begin his journey.

 

He dreamed of being an outlaw king and wrote a book about it, inspired by the book about a rubber boy. In an era like this, being an outlaw means being free and following your dreams while helping those in need.

 

He sought to find people who would journey with him and sail, fly, or travel around the world to find the lost continent and seek out a treasure called the Mark of Fable Round.

 

The Alagesia sought the power Yincoln has and tried to recruit him, but Yincoln refused.

 

Along the journey, Yincoln and his crew deal with rouge guardians, a world torn apart by two major faction groups, and a threat from Cearth.

 

 

So what is the premise of the story?

 

Yincoln and Pierre went to the Full Circle Academy in Dearg Town together (both are the same age); Yincoln joined the academy simply to learn how to be an outlaw, while Pierre joined so he could go on military missions. Pierre wishes to be king of justice, while Lincoln wants to be king of outlaws. Pierre believes his destiny is to take down the remains of the Toring Empire, while Lincoln simply wants to sail around the world. The two would butt heads while Yincoln tried to uncover the secrets of the lost continent, a move not accepted by the Republic, with Pierre giving chase and building an alliance to take down the seven Toring generals.

 

Yincoln chose to select his crews based on the pirate recruitment system. Along the way, he would recruit traveling companions with roles that would contribute to their journey.

 

Yincoln knew he was not of Va and came from Cearth. He wanted to go back initially, but he grew strongly attached to Va and heeded the call to stay. Lincoln sought to uncover his heritage and find out why fate wanted him there.

 I need a feedback on this, I'm open to ideas to add or subtract, give me examples on getting it to be less One Piece and come up with my unique ideas but examples needs to be provided.

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

STRANGE WORLD's Unlikely 2nd Life

The Walt Disney Company feels that there are 61, soon to be 62 animated features in their "Animated Classics Canon"...

At least 20 films in the "canon" had flopped at the box office on their initial releases.

And many of those films found successful second lives afterwards... A theatrical run is short, but the movie's existence is forever after that...

The earliest Disney animated films lived on through theatrical re-issues...

Example: PINOCCHIO (1940) and BAMBI (1942) were initially impacted by World War II, whether it was audiences at home not taking to those stories the same way they did to SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS just a few years earlier, or almost the entire European market being cut off. When the war was over, and these films began playing in territories where they initially were banned from, and when they came back to American theaters every 5-10 years, they began to make their money back... and they all eventually became the crown jewels of Disney's animated library. Would you believe for a second that PINOCCHIO, where Disney's whole damn anthem comes from... And BAMBI, one of the great Disney tearjerkers... Were initially viewed as disappointments upon their release? And even lost money?

Flop is a loaded word in movie-dom, and often a misused word... A film losing lots of money has long been something of a curse to a movie or even its filmmakers, something so stigmatized... And during Walt's years among the living, a lot of what's considered the cream of the crop... PINOCCHIO, FANTASIA, BAMBI, ALICE IN WONDERLAND, and SLEEPING BEAUTY... All lost money at the box office on their respective initial releases... And they were saved by re-issues over time... Films that even had mixed or outright negative reviews upon release, long considered iconic afterwards... It just had to take a few years.

Other films had second lives via home video. Home video as we know it today came about in 1975, in the form of Betamax, in Japan. VHS followed there in 1976. The winning VHS format then came to America in 1977, and slowly grew from there, becoming much more commonplace in American homes by the end of the 1980s... Walt Disney, of course, didn't live to see this video age, but it proved to be a deus ex machina to flop animated movies, more so than a theatrical re-issue could be. THE BLACK CAULDRON was originally released in theaters in 1985, and could've easily come to video the year after, but the film wouldn't debut on video until 1998. Thirteen years later... And it more than made back what it lost. THE RESCUERS DOWN UNDER was the sole box office loss during the Disney Renaissance of the late 1980s/early 1990s, but on videocassette and LaserDisc, it covered all of its losses within a year. THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE, ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE, TREASURE PLANET, and BROTHER BEAR all thrived on DVD/VHS... So on, so forth.

Now we're in the streaming era. ENCANTO. Great example. Did so-so in theaters during the Delta and Omicron variants, collected about $250m worldwide... While SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME made that kind of money on its first weekend in North America *alone*... But lo and behold, ENCANTO *explode* on Disney+ and is one of the most streamed films of all-time. Disney regularly racked up world records in home video sales (SNOW WHITE, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, ALADDIN, and THE LION KING broke all the records), and they also dominate streaming: ENCANTO, along with the two FROZENs and MOANA, regularly are in the Top 10 most-streamed movies...

Then there's the latest Walt Disney Animation Studios film, STRANGE WORLD, a sci-fi adventure movie that came out in theaters merely less than a year ago. A film they left to die in theaters during the Thanksgiving stretch, with a truly ineffective marketing campaign behind it. For whatever reason, it tested poorly before release, Disney had no faith in it, and audiences didn't seem to like it much. But on Disney+, it did quite well in its first couple of weeks, so maybe there was a small sliver of hope for this one...

Now, it has made a resurgence... But for reasons a lot of us expected, but maybe not in the way we thought it would play out...

And just a warning, I'm going to get very political... So, yeah, just a heads up...

STRANGE WORLD was shown in an elementary school in the dictatorship known as... the state of Florida. Because Florida's draconian frumpy toad of a governor kisses up to his ghastly constituents - the very weirdos in this country who hate queer people and are also very politically active, showing STRANGE WORLD - a PG-rated Disney movie for the entire family - to a class of schoolchildren is a criminal act of the highest order. The poor 5th grade teacher, Ms. Jenna Barbee, is being *investigated* for this! Per the governor's orders! You would've thought she had shown CALIGULA (1979) to the class or something! And it was all spurred by some angry Karen-looking woman who had actually signed a waiver that *allowed* Barbee to show her child and the other students PG-RATED MOVIES.

Oh, but not THAT one apparently...

Just another day in America, it seems... And just another day in a state as completely-f*cked as Florida.

The very state where The Walt Disney Company operates a little theme park that... I dunno... Happens to drive A LOT of the state's tourism???

So... Theatrical re-releases, home video, streaming... and government-mandated investigation...

This is not the first time a Disney animated movie spurred some kind of controversy, but this... This is a whole other level... Because right now, in certain states in this country, the right-wing is working overtime to rip the LGBTQIA+ community of their rights, criminalize them, demonize them, and erase them. Especially in the schools, all age groups, whether you're a kindergartner or a high school senior, even. All under the guise of "protecting children"...

To these awful awful people, a straight couple existing and even expressing love for one another is totally OKAY... But if an LGBTQIA+ couple even so much as *thinks* of smiling at each other, it's CORRUPTING our youth! Monsters like this particular governor are doing this because their lowlife constituents want it. Millions of asshole Americans who hate everyone and everything, that's who this stupid elephant party answers exclusively to. And they do it, with pleasure. Anything to power themselves, no matter how many people it hurts and even kills. They'll make up all the worst lies about us queers in order to render our pleas for just wanting to be left alone insignificant. They use trojanhorse concerns like "schools are trying to s*xualize kids", something schools legally CAN'T do, to make the masses think that us queers are in a conspiracy with "liberals", "leftists", "marxists", "communists", "socialists", and George Soros to harm children.

This is what we're up against, and STRANGE WORLD is now part of this ludicrous, hateful war... Something this party would rather invest in than actually, ya know, running a country with *actual* policy???

Truly normal people watched the movie and just said "Ok, whatever."

These demented goblins see the most menacing sinister thing preying on the vulnerable youth in our country.

All because the character Ethan Clade has a crush on a boy named Diazo... There's one scene of them hanging out together, and it's so brief and harmless... Throughout the movie, Ethan mentions his love of this boy. The two are seen together helping out in Avalonia's insides at the very end of the movie, and that's it really... It's a significant cut above the nearly non-existent "representation" seen in previous Disney-released movies... Like the utter joke that was THE RISE OF SKYWALKER's "representation", or the blink-and-you'll-miss-it nonsense seen in films like the live-action BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, and even some of those were protested by wackiest of right-wing wackos.

This is really what we're dealing with in America, folks... Some harmless Disney movie that flopped at the box office and no one really paid attention to is CRIME OF THE CENTURY to a very loud and powerful block of the country, and is now part of a state governor and his cronies' cruel war on an entire community's existence. And part of this gremlin's war is also Walt Disney World itself, as it is based in Florida, and he's trying to dictate them and their district that they operate out of...

Currently, Disney is fighting this demon in other ways, one of the few good things this corporation is actually doing. Which feels kind of wrong to say, but between Iger and this utter fascist? Oh I'll side with Iger on this one, easily, even if Disney gave a lot of support to this guy and his bullshit in the first place.

I wonder if this will drive views on Disney+ for STRANGE WORLD, a movie that otherwise would've just... Existed on there... I wonder if many will stream it out of curiosity. Just *how* inappropriate is this flop sci-fi Disney movie? Is it really all that controversial? They'll pop it on, realize that it's just some harmless 100min movie, and call it a day... Making that governor and those who wholeheartedly support his crusade look even stupider and wackier than they already do...

I believe STRANGE WORLD does have a second life ahead of it, in that it's a family movie with pretty solid queer representation. It's nice to see two characters actually showing affection, and not it being some line you can easily miss, or something hidden far in the background of a crowded shot. This movie probably already has uplifted many a queer kid, preteen, or teenager already. Just seeing themselves, not as a joke, and not much attention is called to it, either. Avalonia is not Earth, and their society is all-accepting and seemingly unmarred by colonialism and capitalism. Mixed race families, queer people, disabled people, they all just harmoniously exist there. When Ethan tells his grandpa Jaegar Clade about his crush back home, you - the Earth-dwelling audience - would expect the old man to object... But he doesn't! It's a relief, in a way. Instead, he's like "what's he like? Here's how you impress him!" In Avalonia, it's as normal as anything else. Very "Disney" of this movie to create a fantasy world where you can be queer and not have to worry about millions of people wanting you erased from existence.

While I don't find STRANGE WORLD to be a masterpiece, or anything close to it, I think that's very important nonetheless. A lot of younger folk will have this movie, and it'll be a favorite of theirs. Much in the same way a lot of kids ate up EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE, ATLANTIS, TREASURE PLANET, and BROTHER BEAR on video, and took those movies with them into the adult age. Nowadays those movies are more positively spoken about. Not like in, say, 2008 where most people said "oh, those flops."

It would simply have that in its favor, but... It's now part of a government investigation. It's now in 'Louie, Louie' territory, as a harmless piece of media that's in big trouble... At the hands of people who just need to f*cking chill for five seconds already.

('Louie, Louie' is in reference to a rock song by The Kingsmen, which came out in 1963, and was investigated by the F-B-freakin'-I for supposedly "obscene" lyrics that weren't there... But the hilarious thing is, one of the musicians yelling the f-word in the background during the session was in the released recording... The FBI didn't notice that whatsoever. Funny how the things you are often looking for are right in front of you!)

Moving on... STRANGE WORLD is now in a truly strange situation, one that did not need to happen, and I'm sure little will be done about this by Disney themselves... as this is something that the people need to revolt against or work their damnedest to vote out. Hey, Jacksonville elected a Democrat the other day, so it's not all lost! Disney can only deal with the things the governor is dishing to them, not a teacher somewhere in the state who showed a movie to her class. Though it would be nice if ol' Iger made some sort of statement at least, something about standing by the movie and its representation, which won't do anything other than... Ya know, piss the right people off? Disneyland on the West Coast is already having a big queer celebration in the coming months, so might as well piss these people off some more. It'll at least be funny!

It'd be even more hilarious if WISH had some queerness in it, ditto any other upcoming PG-rated movies of theirs. Like, they could hide STRANGE WORLD because it was a somewhat-weird sci-fi adventure movie, but something more mainstream-looking like WISH or ELEMENTAL or any of those movies? It'd be cool if they kept it up. I know that I, a queer person who loves the animated works and theme park entertainments that comes out of the Disney enterprise, would be a very happy camper about that, too...

Like, in simple terms... Teacher gets targeted by a queer-loathing state governor for showing a Disney movie in class... And that Disney movie happens to be... STRANGE WORLD...

[honeyviscera]

I posted 3,595 times in 2022

That's 2,566 more posts than 2021!

371 posts created (10%)

3,224 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@channeling-inner-potato

@hi-raethia

@spixi

I tagged 3,037 of my posts in 2022

Only 16% of my posts had no tags

#jujutsu kaisen - 613 posts

#caps - 340 posts

#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood - 299 posts

#haikyuu!! - 200 posts

#ocean asks - 160 posts

#my hero academia - 148 posts

#mob psycho 100 - 147 posts

#ocean.mp3 - 130 posts

#project sekai - 118 posts

#satosugu - 114 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#hhdkjhdkgdvfhdgsjkdjgvdhkdjhjhddjkdhdjdhjdkhhddkhjkdhljghdjgdjkhhgfgkhdhkjdhdkgdvgdkjdhbdhkjhbeyhhjkbdkjdhbkhebouhebhjkhbdhjbdhsjkhshgeuoyg

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

the amount of detail and effort that went into it. i just KNOW i have to rewatch it to really get it bc there was so much THERE it was so jam packed of stuff i LOVED it

36 notes - Posted March 16, 2022

#4

Something I wish was like. Actually Covered in Dr. Stone that I think would have been super cool is like. linguistic differences.

Because like, okay. you have a mini society that's been living in complete isolation for over 3000 years, totally apart from everything else, and then you have characters like senkuu, gen, tsukasa, ukyo, hyoga etc. who are very much from 'our time', kept in stone for those 3000 years, retaining all memories and language from that era.

like. 3000 years is a SUPER long time. Even with the 100 Tales that got passed through the generations to Ruri, which I imagine would help in keeping the language the same for all that time, I'm surprised there's like. zero differences. that they're able to communicate seamlessly. that there is no variation, no slang, no new words, no thick accents, no nothing.

Like, as a real life example, Old English was used about 2000 years ago. And I bet most of you would have a Pretty Hard Time understanding it, and that's only from like 2/3 the amount of time that separates the Ishigami villagers and the other characters. it almost seems like another language.

I would have LOVED the first interaction between Kohaku and Senkuu to have been WILDLY confusing and surprising. Kohaku sees this random dude and attacks, and then he starts speaking this absolute gobbledygook that only sounds very very vaguely familiar and also sounds weirdly Proper. and then kohaku responds in confusion, and to senkuu she's speaking this weird weird language that is only barely recognisable and sounds super casual and fast. and they Can't Talk to each other, which makes the entire ordeal with getting the villagers to trust senkuu That Much Harder lmao. but finally, FINALLY when Senkuu is able to meet Ruri and she hears the way he talks is like hey wait a minute I Know This. and she tells him the 100 tales (still in the original language) that everyone else thought sounded like a series of weird incantations but senkuu is like Oh. Oh Okay also dad why did you put so many memes in this. (like in canon lmao) and just. the langauge barriers!!!!! I WISH THERE WAS A LANGUAGE BARRIER IN DR. STONE OKAY.

EDIT: some cool people showed me a really good fic and a more in-depth post on this concept!! I highly reccomend checking them out!

57 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

#3

what if i broke down. what if this was it huh.

86 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

#2

it's. it's about human connection and the loss of it, it's about not fitting in and rejoicing in that uniqueness, it's about longing for something, having it, and mourning the loss of it, it's about searching for that person everywhere, once they're gone you see them in everything its about the confusion and ambiguity and panic that comes with a realistic dream, it's about dreaming and the strangeness of dreaming, it's about being a little in love with your best friend, it's about the fragility of our bonds, it's about missing people, it's about love.

125 notes - Posted March 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i get so emotional over non-human characters who are experiencing 'being human' and fundamentally are lonely and just want friends that all they'd ever want is friendship and company and that is the most important part of being human for them is to have friends..... god. GOD,, give me a moment here im. IM.

538 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[magekate07]

The Rise and Fall of My 2022

Happy New Years Eve… or New Years, or belated New Years. It depends on when you read this.

2022 has been a rise and fall for me for me. When January 2022 arrived, I was looking forward to a lot of things: my first Art Fight, Craig of the Creek season 4, and finally posting my fiction stories after such a long time.

For the first half of the year, things were fine. I greatly enjoyed Art Fight, I posted my first fanfic on AO3, and COVID restrictions were lessening. I was flaying high on cloud nine…

Then towards the end of August 2022, I fell to the ground.

The HBO Max animation purge happened and several beloved animations got removed, including Infinity Train. As someone who grew up on animation and was inspired by the stories they made, I obviously was upset by the blunt disrespect.

During this time, I started to overthink. When Infinity Train got removed, it wasn’t just from the streaming service, but from every single post that acknowledged the show’s existence got removed from Cartoon Network’s social media. If cooperations could just remove something just like that, what was going to stop them from doing the same to all the fan fiction and fan art? As a reminder, I was overthinking.

My brain just kept coming up with these scenarios of armored guards breaking into my home and arresting me just for being an artist. Every sci-fi/psychological thriller situation was just going through my head, and my mentality just hit rock bottom. Hearing the next season for Craig of Creek got cut just made it worse.

Fortunately, I didn’t stay like that forever. I pulled myself together and I continued making my art. Watching cartoons like Dead End: Paranormal Park definitely helped, and at least Infinity Train came back on YouTube. Also, while Craig of the Creek is ending, season 5 and the movie are still expected to come.

I started to feel slowly better. The Planttober drawing challenge and Nanowrimo gave me time to relax and calm myself…

Then I was pushed back down even deeper.

This time, the cause was on a matter more serious. It started a few weeks ago when I discovered that an AI bot could be scrapping and mining through AO3 to use the writings for its “learning.” Some might argue that the AI is using others stories as “reference,” but it’s really just stealing passages that an actual human probably put a lot of heart into. It’s not just writing that’s being victim to this; drawings and pictures are seemingly targeted as well.

Seriously, my impression of AI really went down in just the span of approximately one month. Admittedly, when I first discovered AI generated art, I played around with it because I thought it was… neat. However, when I learned how they actually get their “inspiration,” I wanted nothing to do with it. I threw out all my AI generated images and vowed if I wanted art, then I’ll just do my own.

It doesn’t help that at the time, I was (and probably still) being continuously followed by porn bots that I keep blockings and reporting. I had to block around twenty of them in this month alone! Before I would only get them sometimes, but I feel like they’re out of control over the course of December.

Anyway, the discovery of bots going through art got me concerned, and I looked up copyright laws and how to protect fanfics (and other forms of art). It taught me a lot about those subjects, but I’ve picked up disturbing things as well. In my search, I’ve also read the experience of those who have had their writings (fanfic and original) plagiarized. The more I read about them, the more terrified I got. Then when I learned that stolen works could also be sold online under that name of the plagiarizers, that was for me. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I knew deep down that plagiarism was a risk when someone posts their work publicly online, but to hear it actually happen to writers and artists was terrifying. I create things because I like it, and I post it online so I can share it with others; not so some thief can claim it for themselves!

That reality didn’t just crush me, it grind me to the ground. I just kept asking myself: what’s the point? Why do all this art anyway? Just to give up to story stealing pirate or a wannabe program? It wasn’t going to be on there forever anyway! So why bother? Everything seemed pointless. To be honest, being in this slump made me want to resort to what I did back then: just give up. Delete my blog, delete my fanfics; everything and it’ll all be safe…

However, I didn’t do that. I may have written a few vent passages and made some of my old posts private, but I didn’t delete all of it. Tumblr might not be the perfect website, but it’s the best place where I can show my artwork than at any other website, and I don’t want to give up on my fanfic; especially since I’ve only been on AO3 for a year and the current story I’m working on is just beginning. Yet, the risk of knowing what could happen still hurts me.

So, I’ve just been wallowing in my slump and paranoia: took a pause in working on my fanfic, constantly checking online to make sure my art hasn’t been stolen, and reporting and blocking every porn bot that dares follow my blogs. In spite of that, I have been doing things to help out as well: talk to my dad about my problems, do art for myself and not the public, and listening to music with really depressing lyrics. The last one actually helps a lot.

Yet, the one thing that’s been helping me the most is seeing and reading the works of other people who post their stuff online. I don’t know how aware they are of the risks and annoyances, but the fact that they still share their art despite those factors is inspiring. It’s encouraging me to keep going.

It’s been some time since I found myself in a slump, and I’m slowly feeling better, but not exactly out. The fear is still very much real, and all my pictures from this point will have watermarks (some might have multiple). However, the rate of both my writing and artwork are going to be much slower. I might not post art on here as much, given I want to deter the bots’ attention, and I want to create things for myself. It’s probably for the better in the long run.

That said, I will end with two PSAs:

PSA number one: if you find work that is eerily similar or exactly alike to someone else’s art, report it immediately to the original creator. It is not right for anyone’s work to be stolen; not by another person or an AI. The less plagiarizers are out there; the less anxiety there will be when post art publicly. However, be a hundred percent sure if you suspect the work has been plagiarized before reporting anything in order to avoid causing drama.

PSA number 2: report and block any bots. There as been a surge of them recently. This isn’t as serious given that the bots that are currently plaguing Tumblr are just… adult content, but they are annoying as flies! Just look out for any icons that show real life women, suspicious links, and user names that… just don’t seem normal (you’ll know it when you see it). Then report for spam and block them.

Thank you for reading this long post of mine. Don’t let things take you down. Happy New Years, and may 2023 be better for all of us.

((Fun fact: the stick figure illustrations was inspired by Alan Becker and his amazing animation. Also, it’s less time consuming to draw.))

[quoteablebooks]

Genre: Fiction, Adult, Romance, Fantasy

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Content Warning: Sexual content, Alcohol, Cursing, Infidelity, Toxic relationship, Violence, Misogyny     

Summary:

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina meets The L Word in this fresh, sizzling rom-com by Lana Harper.

Emmy Harlow is a witch but not a very powerful one—in part because she hasn't been home to the magical town of Thistle Grove in years. Her self-imposed exile has a lot to do with a complicated family history and a desire to forge her own way in the world, and only the very tiniest bit to do with Gareth Blackmoore, heir to the most powerful magical family in town and casual breaker of hearts and destroyer of dreams.

But when a spellcasting tournament that her family serves as arbiters for approaches, it turns out the pull of tradition (or the truly impressive parental guilt trip that comes with it) is strong enough to bring Emmy back. She's determined to do her familial duty; spend some quality time with her best friend, Linden Thorn; and get back to her real life in Chicago.

On her first night home, Emmy runs into Talia Avramov—an all-around badass adept in the darker magical arts—who is fresh off a bad breakup . . . with Gareth Blackmoore. Talia had let herself be charmed, only to discover that Gareth was also seeing Linden—unbeknownst to either of them. And now she and Linden want revenge. Only one question stands: Is Emmy in?

But most concerning of all: Why can't she stop thinking about the terrifyingly competent, devastatingly gorgeous, wickedly charming Talia Avramov?

*Opinions*

Truth be told, I don’t remember how this book appeared on my radar, but it sounded like an interesting premise. While I am a novice romance reader, I am a huge fan of witch books and seeing how the author works magic in a contemporary setting. Also, a woman scorned getting her revenge is also something I am a huge fan of so the elements of this book should have worked for me. I did enjoy my time in Thistle Grove and with Emmy, but due to personal preferences, this book wasn’t a home run for me. 

Payback’s a Witch follows Emmy Harlow’s return to her hometown of Thistle Grove, a city of real witches that attracts tourists during Halloween with a gimmicky witch atmosphere. Emmy left almost nine years ago after a breakup that broke her spirit and her love for the town she called home. Now, she has to return for the Gauntlet, a magical competition that will decide which of the original witch families has governing powers in the town, due to her family scion always serving as the arbiter. However, when she returns to Thistle Grove, she finds out that her ex has also scorned two other witches, the scion of House Avramov and her best friend, and they pull Emmy into a pact to make sure that her ex doesn’t win the Gauntlet. The longer Emmy stays in Thistle Grove and the more time she spends with the people there, she starts to wonder if she has made a new life outside of the town or just run away from her old one. It doesn’t help that she has an electric pull to Talia that doesn’t feel as if it is onsided. What was supposed to just be a month-long visit to say goodbye to Thistle Grove for good is getting more and more complicated. 

As the plot took a back seat to the romance, obviously, I did enjoy the world-building that Harper put into this book. Thistle Grove felt like a real place that I would love to visit during the Fall. Harper also makes the magic a living thing in the town, which in turn makes the town a character in its own right. The history of the town and the founders that are established in this novel was also interesting, if a bit fluffy. In the acknowledgments, Harper stated that while she had been thinking about Thistle Grove for a while, this was a COVID novel, and you could feel that. Everything was just a little too shiny and all the emotional moments were there, but didn’t dig deep into the angst. While I know a lot of people like a nice fluffy novel, I like a little more angst in my stories in general, but especially my romances. 

I felt the same way with all the characters in the novel, they were all a little too shiny, even the horrible ex. Sure, Gareth really screwed over all three of the witches, but he was portrayed as more of an idiot than a truly horrible individual. Linden is the perfect best friend, Talia is the perfect mysterious romantic interest, and her parents are perfectly understanding parents. Emmy is really the character that is shown with the most negative attributes, of being selfish and running from her emotions, but who doesn’t do that in their twenties? Again, there is nothing wrong with any of this, but it just isn’t to my taste.  

The romance, which is the main focus of this novel, was well-written but didn’t really catch my attention. I liked Emmy and Talia together and I think their banter was well written. However, I felt a lot of their chemistry was told to us through electric touches than shown on the page. I believe that there was a good deal of lust between them, and the romance scenes were well written, but I didn’t think that the declarations at the end were earned. Again, Harper didn’t dig deep into either the positive or negative emotions. I am wondering if they pop up in the other novels in this companion series and if I will feel more about their relationship as it grows. 

My biggest gripe about this novel is the amount of pop-culture references in this novel. While I know that this isn’t out of the ordinary with contemporary novels or romances, the amount in this book was noticeable and slightly obnoxious. There was one page in which there were easily five pop culture references and while this was published recently enough that they weren’t outdated, no one thinks in that many references back to back to back. It kept pulling me out of the story and the biggest issue I had with Harper’s writing. 

Overall, this was an easy and fun novel, but I didn’t connect with it. Overall, I think I am going to continue in the series, but I don’t know if I am going to buy the novels or just get them from the library. This is a 3.5 read rounded up to a 4. 

[isa-ah]

the bottom left is my comfort cavity but the top right is the bitch that's open all the way to the nerve (the part of it that's dark is hole) and the dentist was like We Need To Get That Out Right Now then showed me the up front bill and I was like or. or i could keep it :'-) this is suddenly fine :"-)

[gunterfan1992]

Interview with Fan Artist loycos!

(Art by loycos)

So a few months ago, I was absent-mindedly scrolling on Tumblr (or was it Twitter?) when I came across something: an Adventure Time fan comic by an artist named loycos. As a person embedded in fan spaces, I find fanart like this all the time, but this time, there was something special about the art I was seeing. It was so... show-accurate!

I don’t mean that necessarily in regard to the art style (although it does feel right at home in the Land of Ooo, while still being its own thing with its own flourishes), but rather in relation to the characterization; the way loycos wrote the characters was spot on. She nailed PB and Marceline’s dynamic as former lovers who deep-down miss one another. She nailed Finn’s naive heroism and his one-sided crush on PB. She nailed Jake’s goofball energy. It was perfect.

In the past, I’ve only interviewed people affiliated with the show’s production, but I thought I’d mix things up a bit and reach out to some fan artists that I think are fantastic. As such, I’m delighted to share with you an interview I had with loycos, who answered my questions about her art, her history with Adventure Time, and where her work is headed!

What is your 'artistic origin' story?

[It’s] kind of a corny answer, but I've been drawing since I remember myself. My earliest drawing memories are drawing Clifford (the big red dog) fanart when I was around 5 y/o. I was always more of a "fangirl" artist, [and] I would draw characters from my favorite franchises to illustrate my headcanons and daydream scenarios I'd put them in. That hadn't changed one bit since. I had since gone on to study animation and illustration in official institutions which forced me to design characters and worlds of my own, but when I draw for myself it's always back to fanart (or studies). I don't have any OCs.

Are there particular artists or styles that you were inspired by and/or like to emulate or allude to?

I'd joke that my artstyle is just a mesh of all the franchises I've drawn fanart for over the years, but honestly, is it even a joke? I think you can easily recognize I had a Disney Phase like every other teenager (I didn't have an anime phase though! I know, I'm an anomaly) and [Steven Universe] definitely left it's fat mark on my style too. Out of [Steven Universe]'s storyboarding crew (which I followed very closely over the years) I especially love Raven Molisee and Jeff Liu for their wacky expressions and proportions, and of course Rebecca Sugar for their fluid and carefree lines. When it comes to art in general, I tend to prefer stylized, colorful and brushy styles over realistic or gothic ones, So people like Hue Teo and Patri Balanovsky pop to my mind (and my artstation feed, seriously look them up).

How do you approach your projects; what is your general art process?

It really depends on the type of project I'm doing, though, my [Adventure Time] comics were all pretty similar in their conception: I write down all of my ideas in my notes so I won't forget them. Then I either roughly sketch out the entire comic as fast as I can, or I write a script (if the concept is specifically very dialog heavy) and then sketch it roughly. Then I do the lineart and color, nothing too complicated. The one thing I think is worth noting in my long comic process is that I draw all of my panels on the same document- that way it's easier for me to make sure the characters stay on model and that my panel layout remains fresh. So basically, the way you read the comics on tumblr, as a long scroll, is the format I work on.

How did you come to find Adventure Time? What made you join the fandom?

Adventure Time is one of those shows you just know about, so I don't remember how I first found out about the show. However, I do remember when I started shipping Bubbline—after the episode “Broke His Crown” aired. I somehow ended up in their Tumblr tag and was blown away by the (by 2016's standards) blatant representation. Despite my obsession with them at the time, I never actually watched any episode that didn't feature the girls' relationship. I only started fully watching the show recently. But I did consume a lot of fan content, which I think helped me shape my own headcanons and such. After my initial interest in 2016 I put Bubbline back on the back burner and kept on my [Steven Universe] ramage, until last year's “Obsidian,” which brought me back fully on board the Bubbline decks around 2 weeks before it aired, so I was in maximum hype mode when I watched the special. It did not disappoint [and it] really reminded me of why I loved these characters and their relationship to begin with. I started drawing my own art for the ship shortly after, when I felt like the hype around the special died down and there wasn't much to keep me sustained anymore. I make what I want to see ;)

As for joining the fandom, I don't know if I can be considered a member, seeing how inactive I am most of the time and my very limited list of [Adventure Time] mutuals. I am extremely flattered that my stuff caught ATimers attention in a positive way.

You've done some amazing Bubblegum and Marceline stuff. What draws you to their dynamic?

I'm gay.

OK, seriously now. I have a soft spot for extremely feminine, dainty characters that are very reserved, so PB immediately marked herself as an obvious fav, and the road to shipping her with Marceline (who is such an obvious candidate and a multilayered, fascinating character herself) was a short one. I know calling PB dainty is far from a true statement, but that's what she appeared like on the surface and that's what caught my attention. Another thing is that I love relationships between immortal beings, I think it always adds another layer of complexity to any relationship, especially a romantic one. The whole "getting older without appearing like you've aged" and "watching everyone you love die around you while you stay the same" can surely make 2 beings bond, right? It always felt like PB and Marcy get each other in a way no one else can, they are very different on the surface but share fundamental internal similarities. Oh, and the fact that they're EXES? The romantic tension and the longing? The familiarity and banter they had in every scene they shared?This hit the jackpot on literally every relationship trope that I love. I'd much rather watch a "getting back together" than a "falling in love for the first time" story.

All of this and the fact that they [are] gay. It's really that simple sometimes.

In broad strokes, what is next for you as an artist and/or as a fan?

I have a few [Adventure Time] comics ideas\scripts on the back burner and one that is in the making. I think I'll dabble into some Nintendo fanart cause I've been playing a lot of Smash Bros and [Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild] lately.

I’m so excited to see what comes next! Either way, a huge thanks to loycos for chattin’ with me! If you’d like to check out more of her art, visit her Tumblr and her Twitter page!

[whumptimebaby]

4*Town Les Mis AU - Part 1 - The Confrontation

| Character Death | 1/5 | Angst | 09/12/2022 (MM/DD/YYYY)

CW: Character Death (Minor to the story but Major in that it’s a member of 4*Town), Police/Convict Dynamic, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, Hospitals, Poverty

Aaron Zazou does not understand why he is so pulled to find and arrest runaway convict Robaire Fournier, though, there are many things he doesn’t understand about the thief. 

What he does know is that his mind has completely swarmed by him. He can only hope that putting Fournier behind bars will quell the questions that man makes him ask himself, and erase the images he sees when he lays to sleep.

ORIGINAL POST

Full Fic Below Cut

Aaron Zazou was a man of the law, painted from the moment he was born a portrait of order and good. His values were as easy to understand as the code he was instructed to follow. He who breaks the law is damned. He who breaks the law is vile.

Robaire Fournier, prisoner 04264, was therefore scarred by the bread he’d stolen. No good could come from a man who is damned. No good could come from a man who is vile. 

His thoughts were better placed elsewhere, Aaron knew, than the man who’d evaded him so long ago. In the time it had taken to get to the present day, he’d only stopped once to think about how foolish it must’ve seemed, leaving his position as a prison guard to chase a convict who broke parole. He had no intention of finding in himself the reason he refused to acknowledge that prisoner 04264 had most likely succumbed to the poor living conditions gifted upon the scum of the Earth.

He’d been right, after all. 04264 was alive, and he was a mere few strides away.

The hospital was dark, covered by the night’s thick coat. A few candles flickered, revealing no shadows worth fussing over. The air smelled of the sick, of grime and death. Aaron figured few of the people who fell ill here would ever recover. 

04264 was cloaked, holding the hand of a man so pale Aaron could hardly recognize him. Their earlier confrontation still rang like an unwanted whistle in his ears, taunting his ignorance. 

One of the candles was perfectly placed to light the convict’s face with its warm, orange glow. He spoke softly to the man, a deep-set sadness clear in the dew on his cheeks. Aaron recognized the guilt, and wondered how much 04264 really knew of the fate he would receive. He who breaks the law is damned. He who breaks the law is vile.

Something changed in the convict's posture. His shoulders lowered, and his eyes shut. 

“Zazou.” His voice was deep, sickeningly tender as he called without looking. 

Aaron stepped out of the darkness. “Fournier.”

“I don’t know you as a man who would allow death to stop you from enforcing the law.”

“Every man deserves his last moments of peace.”

The convict rose, still watching the bed. “Even me?”

“You have years to serve before I can allow you to die.”

He scoffed. “And what of those who die in your prison? What peace are they allowed?”

“Deservance is a right you do not have while serving.”

Curious enough to finally make eye contact, 04264’s eyes traced the outline of Aaron’s frame, holding enough care to make him shiver. “You contradict yourself.”

“Don’t play games with me, Fournier. See me plain, as I’ve always seen you.”

“You do not see me any more than you know your own beliefs.” 

“What nonsense has eaten you? My beliefs are clear.”

He found the audacity to laugh. “If what you say is true, how is this man different from me? Was Jesse not being questioned by you?”

“There was no time for a formal arrest. Nothing more to it.”

If there was any doubt, he shoved it down fast enough to pretend it never manifested. He’d been ordered to stand down by the mayor, and now that said ruse was discovered, he'd been spending his time searching for Robaire Fournier, to make the arrest he’d been waiting years to make. 

There was no time to arrest the other criminal. Let him have his peace. 

04264 tilted his head, examining him closely. His prodding bore pity, one that Aaron couldn't understand. Anger boiled.

“You may have fled the courthouse, but you will not evade nor deceive me again. You’ll return to the prison.”

Robaire’s sweet voice curled around his name. “Aaron.”  

“You are under arrest. Do not speak so informally.”

“This man has a son. You do not owe it to me, but his child is suffering. I need but three days. I promise I’ll return to you.”

To you. 

“You will never change.” He advanced. “Using a child to escape your rightful jail time.”

His eyes hardened. “I stole a loaf of bread.”

“You broke parole.”

“That parole would have killed me.”

They held eye contact, more intense than the argument allowed for. “I am doing nothing but my duty.”

“And I commend you for it, for your drive to maintain justice, but what justice is it to allow an innocent child to suffer?”

“Don’t you talk of justice.”

“You know nothing of the world. I have only done what is necessary.” 

Aaron’s cheeks tightened. “And what if your theft had been lethal? A loaf of bread is hardly just a loaf of bread. What if you’d killed that vendor in your selfish act?”

Fournier rose to his feet, adjusting his jacket. He strode to the door, the gait of his walk hardly showing the same, careful tentativeness of his face. 

Aaron Zazou grabbed hold of his arm as he passed, his gaze not leaving the spot Robaire had been sitting moments before. “I wish you hadn’t.”

It was a confession, drawn from him without his consent. He couldn’t be certain of what part of him it had come from, the beat of his chest, the heat of his cheeks, or the fog of his brain. 

“Let me help this boy.” Fournier spoke barely above a whisper. “It is my fault his father died.”

Hardly. When he’d been called to make the arrest, the man was practically a corpse, but the guilt? He could understand that. It pained him as though it was his own, that Robaire could be feeling the anguish of unpaid debts. 

He would not offer him comfort, though. He had a duty he was sworn to do. 

Yet, when Robaire Fournier pulled himself away, and left the hospital, Aaron Zazou could not find it in himself to move. 

Alone in the dark hospital, lit by the flickering candle and surrounded by death and illness, the first part of himself was laid to rest. 

[capesandshapes]

All You Had to Do Was Stay (Post Reveal/ Pre Relationship) (1/4)

Thanks to LNC for the title!

Summary:

Three years ago, Marinette revealed her identity to him. Three years ago, he promised to wait in a hotel room for her. Three years ago, she opened the door to find it empty.

Now she's expected to play nice with him, since she's the maid of honor and he's unfortunately the best man. But old habits die hard, and old feelings die harder.

"This is a wedding, not a death march, Marinette."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things that need to be done before Alya Cesaire could marry Nino Lahiffe:

1. Designs combining both Martinique culture and Réunion style needed to be made for the whole wedding party. Everyone should get to have a say in what they wear.

2. The video of Alya dancing overenthusiastically to the cupid shuffle needed to be removed from Lila Rossi’s Instagram, lest Nino’s nana see and wonder what type of woman he’s marrying.

3. The cake tasting needed to be had. Marinette needed to make sure that her parents didn’t go overboard and keep the couple for the whole night. Even if Alya was practically their daughter. Even if they begged. Even if papa cried.

4. A totally unique and unreplicable combination Bachelor and Bachelorette party needed to be planned.

And, lastly… The most difficult of all:

5. Marinette somehow needed to be able to stand in a room with Nino’s best man, Adrien, and hold a conversation for more than five minutes. Even if, three years ago, he found out her identity, left Paris, and broke her heart.

“Easy,” Marinette groaned, sinking further into her barstool as she closed her notes app, her head touching the counter of the bar. She’d already crossed off the top two of the list items, and yet…

“I’m not asking for a miracle,” Alya began, obviously knowing what she was thinking about. She was the one to ask Marinette out that night, wanting to find out her progress… and also to check in on her wellbeing. It was obvious that she felt bad, she knew how things went between the two and how Marinette originally thought they would go. But she couldn’t just ask Nino not to have Adrien be his best man. “Five minutes, that’s all I’m asking. Just five minutes in a room together. You quickly plan the bachelorette party, since we know that you’re far too organized not to, give him the run down, and then leave. Back to your life, back to doing whatever it is you do now.”

“Sit at home. Alone,” Marinette supplied.

Alya grimaced. “It’s for the best that Luka got married, Marinette. You couldn’t keep playing that game. All that kiss and tell was gonna kill you some day.”

Marinette groaned, somehow sinking further into the wood of the bar. Anymore and she’d become part of the grain.

“Plus, Juleka’s in a better mood with you now,” Alya said, obviously looking at the other young woman as she undoubtedly danced on the floor with Rose. Marinette’s habit of coming back to Paris and making out with her brother had obviously put a strain on their relationship, even if Luka insisted that things weren’t committal and he was totally fine with only seeing her twice a year. “Who knows, maybe Nino will have a handsome cousin and you’ll fall madly in love.”

Marinette raised the side of her head to cast Alya a glare from one eye.

Alya didn’t falter. “So, he’s back. After spending three years in New York, Milan, Hong Kong, and Tokyo. I get it, it’s life changing, it’s world ending, it’s all the things you don’t want and more—especially after how things ended,” Marinette groaned, Alya carried on, “but, you know who else is back? Max, Rose, unfortunately Lila, and Kim. Good old Kim. All your friends, everyone who you’ve known for years, everyone who has missed you as you flitted in and out of Paris! Sure, you found out that Adrien was Chat Noir, went to his hotel room, thought you were finally going to get together, and then opened the door to find it empty—but you know, life happens! And when you least expect it, it keeps going on and on and on and on!”

Marinette turned her face back to the wood.

“I really did try to get Nino to change his mind,” Alya said flatly. “I begged.” Marinette doubted it, but…

“Why couldn’t he just stay in New York?” Marinette mumbled.

“Because Nino is his best friend.”

“Why couldn’t Nino go to New York,” Marinette said, “or Adrien done a zoom call for the wedding.”

Alya snorted. “Okay, that’s it,” she said, grabbing Marinette’s arm. “Adrien’s landing today, nothing’s going to stop it, you just have to clear your head and power on.” She leaned into Marinette’s view as her friend finally turned her head, insistently stating, “you were Ladybug for god’s sake. Even if no one else knows it, you do. I do. You gotta suit up, lovebug, and face the day, lest another evil butterfly come flying by.” Never mind the fact that there hadn’t been an Akuma in years.

Not since Gabriel Agreste was arrested.

Marinette rolled her eyes, finally lifting herself off the bar.

“There’s my girl,” Alya said. “Now, finish your dirty shirley, order another drink, and come do karaoke with me. I’m a hundred percent certain that I saw Say You’ll Be There on the song list, and you know that I’ve been singing Spice Girls since I was in diapers.”

--------------------------

Marinette stumbled into her apartment at one am. Not drunk, she didn’t get drunk, not out in public at bars. In friends’ apartments, maybe. She was still a bit tipsy which was, in its own way, dangerous. But she could fight through it, maybe.

Kicking off her heels, she looked at it, the studio she called home and had once been so proud of a few years back, the same studio she’d lived in ever since she was a fashion design student. The same one in which she’d left Chat knocking on her balcony door when she struggled to stay asleep, and eventually relented to let him in time and time again before he knew who she was.

“Someday, I’m going to move,” she grumbled, beginning to pull the bobby pins from her hair. She wouldn’t, of course, not for a long time. Rent-controlled apartments were rare, and while she pretended that the history that practically stained her hardwood floors was something she would rather forget, she was a nostalgic young woman. She’d be there for at least another five years, or until she was finally well and truly over Chat.

Five years would probably come first.

She passed by the photos washi taped to her walls, the ones where fourteen-year-old kids gave toothy smiles and eighteen-year-old young women gave winks while leaning into blond young men. If she was so concerned about history, she’d have to get rid of those first.

She sighed, finally removing the last bobby pin from her hair and letting it fall down her back, placing the black pin in one of the many bowls around her apartment placed for that very reason. Adrien would be in Paris by then, she was sure. He was probably sound asleep in the Agreste mansion.

“Welcome home, kitty,” she said sarcastically, beginning to climb the steps to her lofted bedroom, a space that was not unlike her childhood room.

This wasn’t how she expected things to be.

Of course, this wasn’t how anyone expected things to be. If you asked anyone, they told you how the story ended. Ladybug and Chat Noir finally got together, they were hiding in Paris somewhere, they were in love. They probably had kids, a dog, a hamster—normal jobs and normal lives. That was what the people of Paris wanted. She thought that that was the ending they would get.

She thought that when she went to the hotel room that night, he would be there. She thought that he was happy to know who she was. She thought that he loved her.

She thought wrong.

Marinette always thought wrong.

She thought she could get over him. She thought making out with Luka was a solution, one that she could keep trying every time she went to Paris. She thought that she would miss Adrien more than Chat, the promise of love more than sitting in her bed and watching subtitled anime while he mouthed the English translations.

By now, she thought she’d be waking up to someone else. That maybe she’d have a steady life, someone to wrap their arms around her in the morning.

Adulthood hits hard.

“Adrien Agreste,” she said, flopping back in her bed and pulling open her phone. She wasn’t above social media stalking.

There he was. Gold hair, tanned skin, too many muscles to know what to do with. Landed in Paris four hours ago, his Instagram posted a picture of him with his arm around Nino. His eyes were still kind, his smile still flawless. Her heart still pounded.

“Jerk,” she muttered, letting her phone fall down beside her. “I didn’t need you anyway,” except for all those times she did. Like when she put the earrings back in the box and said goodbye to one of her closest friends. She could have used him then.

She could have used him a lot of times.

Her eyes stayed glued to the ceiling, her chest rising and falling with every breath. There was no sound, no doting kwami, no laughter from her parents, and no Alya playing with her hair. Just her.

“Now I’m going to see you and fall in love with you all over again,” she said, wishing she could steel herself against the inevitable.

[sideblog-666-thousand]

A long bitch of an interview with Euronymous, from Orcustus zine in early ‘92.

What is Orcustus? Orcustus was an early 90’s black metal ‘zine run by none other than Bård “Faust*” Eithun— murderous pretty-boy, and o.g Euronymous simp. I think he might have also played drums in a band called Emperor... but I’m not sure! Its full name is actually “Orcustus— The Shadow of The Golden Fire”, and no, I’m not making this up.

This particular issue here opens up with a quote from a short story called ‘The Doom That Came To Thomas Parkes*’.

Assuming the reader hasn’t read the story, Faust explains that the quote is in reference to what happened to the titular ‘Thomas Parkes’ when he tried to raise spirits. Faust then admits that he’s unsure of his own ability to ‘raise spirits’, but says he hopes that he’ll raise some fists in agreement that there’s something wrong with the underground scene. Ironically (you’ll see why this is ironic very soon), he doesn’t like that certain bands, namely Entombed, are selling so many copies of their LPs.

After a brief diatribe on just that, he goes on to explain that he was in a rush to get this mag out because of problems with the printer. Then, he tells anyone who doesn’t like the fact that this ‘zine only features black metal that they can fuck off, with three exclamation points.

Finally, we get to the end of the opening page, where Faust pulls what can only be called an early form of the Twitter exposed thread. It reads as follows, with absolutely no changes to the text:

“I would suggest you to not do any business with that sucker Evil Ludo from France. He have riped me and several others off, by not return what we ordered. I suppose he’s a medical sensation, as I didn’t know it was physical or psychical possible to live without a brain”

Why am I telling you all of this, when this is only meant to be a transcript of an interview with Euronymous, you may be asking? Because I find it funny, that’s why.

Anyhow, the Euronymous here acts and feels very differently from the Euronymous of the last interview I posted. However, I hope you’ll still enjoy it, and I hope you’re able to appreciate the tiny glimpses of humanity talking to a close friend allowed him, even though they both behave like complete asses. Even though it’s hard to sympathize with him at points.

Like last time, any (sparse) commentary will be between (parenthesis) and in bold. Without further ado, let’s get into it.

.

F: Well, how in hell shall one be able to come up with an intro worthy enough for this band? The words I wanna describe Mayhem’s music with, is not yet created, and it won’t be created either, because no one has really experienced the real darkness and pure brutality with lays behind Mayhem’s hellish sound, but I suppose you all are familiar with this band anyway. Well, in the first place, I hadn’t really thought to enclose this band in this issue, because if we look away from rereleases of old demos (“Pure Fucking Armageddon”) and live tapes, it’s a pretty long time since their last release (in ‘87 that was). I thought I rather should interview them when they released their forthcoming album “Dee Mysteriis Dom Sathanas”, but due to the circumstances, I realised the time was right for an interview now. I won’t bother you with any history shit, but I could tell a bit about what has happened last year. You all know that their vocalist Dead comited suicude in April ‘91, that was a bigg loss for the underground, and I suppose I don’t need to say that this mag is dedicated to the memory of that infernal man. Anyway, Dead was replaced by Cultòcùlus (back then called Occultus), but due to different problems within the band, he left the band in January ‘92, but let’s not say more about that, as Euronymous didn’t want me to say anything about it at all (but Euronymous, you must admit that it has sounded pretty artificial if I hadn’t mentioned it at all). So now, the band consists of Hellhammer (drums) and Euronymous (guitar (and probably bass too)). I know the singer of Tormentor (rip) from Hungary (Esihar Attila) is interested in singing on the album, and also even moving to Norway, so it seems like Mayhem got some sort of predilection to foreign vocalists, but this Hungarian guy happend to be a good one as well, so never mind that. But I don’t think this is official, so don’t tell anyone you read it here, ok? Well then, it’s an honour for me to dedicate the next following pages to one of today’s most legendary and infamous bands......... THE TRUE MAYHEM!!!!!!!

F: First of all Euronymous, I know you and Dead live/lived totally for the old black metal attitude. Is your hate now total to young and trendy bands after Dead’s suicide?

Euro: YES, we have declared WAR. Dead died because the trend people have destroyed everything from the old black metal/death metal scene, today “death” metal is something normal, accepted and FUNNY (argh) and we HATE it. It used to be spikes, nites, chains, leather and black clothes, and this was the only thing Dead lived for as he hated this world and everything which lives on it. If we had the economic possibility to do it, we should meet up at concerts and beat up ALL trend people ALL the time untill they would be too scared to go to concerts at all, now we need to suck their money instead. It’s impossible to stop the trend no matter how much we want, we have to do the best out of it and sell lots of trend shit to them. (I don’t need to tell you that that’s totally not why Dead killed himself, right?)

F: In the spring of ‘91 you started up a shop in Oslo which sells all sorts of music within metal. Is there anything you can tell us about the shop (ideas? plans?)?

Euro: Well, the original idea was to make a specialist shop for metal in general, but that’s a long time ago. Normal metal isn’t very popular anymore, all the children are listening to “death” metal now, I’d rather be selling Judas Priest than Napalm Death, but at least now we can be specialized within “death” metal and make a shop where all the trend people know that they will find all the trend music, this will help us earning money so that we can order more EVIL records to the evil people. But no matter how shitty music we have to sell, we’ll make a BLACK METAL look on the shop, we’ve had a couple of “actions” in churches lately, and the shop is going to look like a black church in the future. We’ve also thought about having total darkness inside, so that would would have to carry torches to be able to see the records.

F: Well, how is the situation all in all in the Mayhem camp right now?

Euro: Difficult as usual, but we’re closer than ever to record the Mayhem lp. Almost all the material is completed, then I and Hellhammer will record the whole thing with 3 guitars, 2 basses and so on. It will be very massive. Who’s to sing on the lp is not yet decided, we’ll wait and see what happens. We have several people who can do the job very well.

F: As Metalion of Slayer mag* said: “it seems like you at certain times lives on the edge of starvation”. Have you ever been on the thought to just give up the whole band and become a normal 9 to 5 person, or is this a completely stupid question to ask?

Euro: It has been very hard at times, but I am not a normal person anyway so it would just not be possible to do that. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why things are as they are (this answer will be long) (that’s okay for me/Ed). The reason why we don’t have any money, is because of hardcore. We have for too long been following the “underground” rules, which say that you must hate money, you must not think you are anything, you must be open-minded, you might have a lot of attitudes and so on. Extremely stupid. But the situation has been that if you don’t follow these rules which are made by hardcore pigs, you are not accepted as a death metal or black metal band! Then you MUST be signed by some big label to be able to make some money, and we’ve never wanted to do that. Then you would anyway be labelled as “commercial” by the HC pigs. This has caused that after 8 years, we are still as broke as ever, while the HC pigs themselves are controlling all labels, and they sign only the bands which fit into their own idiotic world, that means “death” metal bands with society lyrics and jogging suits, and this is what the people see when they grow up. They don’t see any EVIL bands with spikes, as we did. Well, I’m tired about being broke, just to be “underground”. I’m tired of not having money to eat for just because tons of people will call you a “rip-off” if you don’t write 20 letters each day. It’s time to say fuck off to the whole system, which is built to strangle the evil bands in the birth. We must start taking inspirations from the ancient ones, from Venom and their likes. They did their thing BIG, and they never had to think about any idiotic underground rules. They did it big and so must we, but it must never become a trend, it must become a CULT. This is why we have started on a brand new policy with the band and the record label. It’s about time that someone makes a label for black metal and other grim music, and STRIKE BACK. There is NO reason why DSP shouldn’t be as big as Peaceville or Nuclear Blast, if we can just get the business on its feet again and get good distribution. That’s the only way to compete with the HC labels. It’s about time we start taking control over our own scene. We must spread the EVIL bands and pervert people’s souls.

F: What about the Norwegian scene then? Don’t you think that something is terribly wrong when it have gone so far that we have a christian “death metal” band here (Crush Evil)? Advices on how we should kill them?

Euro: First of all— the Norwegian scene is the BEST. There are a lot of GREAT bands (yet with no album out) and of course some shitty trend bands, but nothing as in Sweden. There you have 2-3 good bands out of 100, while here we have a few shit bands who hardly have made even a demo, while all the great bands will make records in the near future. Such as Darkthrone, Burzum, Immortal, Thorns (I’m flattered/ED*), Arcturus, Enslaved and newer bands like Malfeitor and others which I have not yet heard. BUT— when it comes to bands like Crush Evil, we must take serious action. It’s bad enough to have a couple of society bands, but a CHRISTIAN band is too much. But don’t worry, we have plans. They will not continue for a very long time.

F: And now over to something more humouristic....yes.... snuff movies. Who had been the perfect actor for a snuff movie, and why the hell aren’t they legalized? Don’t you think that every video-store should have its own section with snuff-movies?

Euro: Actually I think it’s great that movies like that are forbidden. If they were legal and easily accessible, all the small trend children would be watching them, and then it would not be something extreme anymore (I’m not sure if I agree with you here Euronymous. Snuff movies are usually too raw and brutal for the people with their “peace and life” infected minds. Remember the HC rules/ED) (shut the fuck up, Faust*) It’s just the same what happened to death metal— it became something everyone could buy in every store, something normal and accessible for everyone. All the mystic and evil atmosphere is GONE. I do not think snuff-movies are funny, I think they are DARK. I’ve seen people laugh at them, but that’s probably because they will not be mentally able to take the PAIN and EVIL on over themselves. That is the best way to watch such a movie, to try to FEEL the actual pain of the victims. It becomes much more gruesome then, and that’s great. One must be alone in the darkness and suffer with the victims, if you watch it with other people, they will often talk, laugh and so on, and then you get more distanced from it, it’s not supposed to be funny (death to fun), it’s much better when it’s depressive.

F: Through the years you have been talking about releasing bands like Samael, Rotting Christ, Master’s Hammer, Tormentor, Matricide, Imperator, Massacre etc. on Deathlike Silence Prod., but now some of these bands have released lp’s on labels which only have money in their eyes and know that black metal sells. Doesn’t that frustrate you, and don’t you feel it like the time is running out for you?

Euro: It’s a bit frustrating, but it is also a result of trying to be “underground” which is a suicide policy. Anyway, the main thing is that these evil records get released at all, and not who’s releasing them. We will probably release a record with Tormentor, they’re split up, but they still want to make their Anno Domini demo on vinyl, and we’ll try to fix it within the summer. The time is not running out, because there are a lot of really evil bands around. — most of the Norwegian bands which other labels haven’t heard about. Burzum is ten times better than all the bands on Earache together, and so are Thorns and Arcturus. So there is no problem, really. As for bands like Rotting Christ and Master’s Hammer, we might do something in the future instead. I’ve never been talking with Samael about any deal, but I wish I had as their album is FUCKING GREAT.

F: Almost all bands in the underground today says that they think they got their own style and originality, but the fact is that 95% of the bands sounds totally the same. What is an original death metal band today?

Euro: There exists no death metal bands today. There are only a handful of (mostly great) bands (in case someone hadn’t got it right— black metal has nothing to do with the music itself, both Blasphemy and Mercyful Fate are black metal. It’s the LYRICS, and they must be SATANIC. If not, it is NOT black metal) and what we choose to call LIFE METAL bands. Take a band like Therion. Their music is quite ok, it’s actually one of the best Swedish bands (even though that doesn’t say much) but their lyrics STINK. They are about society and pollution, what the fuck has that got to do with DEATH? If a band cultivates and worships death, then it’s death metal, no matter what KIND of metal it is. If a band cultivates and worships Satan, it’s black metal. And by saying “cultivates death”, I don’t think about thinking it’s funny, or being into gore, I’m thinking about being able to KILL just because they HATE LIFE. it’s people who enjoy to see wars because a lot of people get killed. How many bands think that way? Not many. I can’t think of one.

F: You’re maybe not the most active band when it comes to gigs, but at least you’ve managed to tour Germany and Turkey. What can you tell us from the tour, and is there any new gigs planed?

Euro: That tour was a big mess, we’ll NEVER take the train again! We lost quite some money, but still it was great to get to East-Germany and Turkey. The memories of the tour consist mostly of the starvation and idiotic custom officers, but still I wouldn’t like to have missed the opportunity. We don’t have any concrete plans, we’ll see happens in the future. We don’t like to play for a lot of trendies in jogging suits, so we prefer to leave it be.

F: What do you think of the fact that death metal has been on MTV?

Euro: It sucks. But it isn’t death metal anyway, so....

F: I know that you will soon release the debut album of Abruptum on DSP, so, what can you tell us about it?

Euro: It’s EVIL. It’s PURE EVIL, they were torturing each other in studio DURING the recording and you can HEAR on the music how they SUFFER. It will be the most demented record EVER, and it’s NOT for normal people. This is music which NEVER can become trendy, because normal people won’t be able to understand it. And that’s great. The price for the album it’ll be the same as for the BURZUM lp, which should be somewhere else in this ‘zine*. It’s called “Obscuriratem Advoco Amplèctere Me”, and stay away from it if you don’t like pure DARKNESS.

F: Don’t you think that people in the underground should respect others ideas and views more? I mean, it’s not accepted to spread unpopular thoughts. It seems like there is some sort of guardians of morality and most people keep in mind not to say or do anything which is not accepted by the public.

Euro: I don’t think people should respect each other. I don’t want to see trend people respecting me, I want them to HATE and FEAR. If people don’t accept our ideas as their own, they can fuck off because then they belong to a musical scene which has NOTHING to do with ours. They could just as well be Madonna fans. There is an ABYSS between us and the rest. Remember— one of the HC rules is that you must be open-minded (except for themselves), so we must be careful and avoid being open-minded ourselves. The HC pigs have correctly made themselves guardians of morality, but we must kick them in the face and become guardians of anti-morality.

F: You say you want your riffs to have a dark mood and really sound evil, but what if you came up with a riff which just sounded good, but not evil. Would you use it then?

Euro: Well, if a riff sounds good to me, it mostly means that it sounds evil too. At least when I make the music myself. Haven’t really thought about this about this before.

F: Do you think you’ve been playing this sort of music today if it weren’t for those old bands like Mercyful Fate, Venom and Hellhammer?

Euro: It’s impossible to say. Venom and the other ancient ones have been fundamental influences on Mayhem, and also the direct reason of the band’s existence. We like to think that if they hadn’t started up this, we would have, but who knows? Doesn’t really matter anyway, we hail ancient Venom as the CREATORS.

F: Ok, no more questions at the moment. End the interview in what way you want......

Euro: Perhaps it should be mentioned that well re-release the MAYHEM mini-lp “Deathcrush” VERY soon. We also have t-shirts available now. People should write for prices on things. Be EVIL, not open-minded.

Ok, I suppose some of you already know that Euronymous started up a shop in Oslo in the spring of ‘91. The shop is called “HELVETE” (which is Norwegian and means “HELL”) and are specialized within underground stuff and death metal in general (though he also have some other styles of music there). As he said in the MAYHEM interview, the shop really have a black metal look, so if you ever visit Oslo, I really recommend you to visit “HELVETE” as well. I think it’s good that people take the initiative to start up with such things, because if everyone were just passive, we would all get ruined by poser-shops like Hot Records where they take 140 NKR for the Earache albums (which you in “HELVETE” can get a CD for the same price). Euronymous also sells though mail, so write and ask for a list or something: HELVETE, Schweigaardsgt. 56, 0656 Oslo. NORWAY.”

That’s all! :)

And now for the things I put in asterisks, in order of their appearances.

*If for some reason you actually don’t know who Faust is, he was the drummer on the Emperor LP and “In The Nightside Eclipse” but you might also know him from other great hits such as “threatening to kill Mortiis from prison whilst simultaneously attempting to plead murder of the secondth degree”, “I’m glad the people Euronymous ripped off won’t get their money back because he’s dead hA hA!”, “I got fourteen years for murder because I’m a socially inept virgin— oops” and “bad... bad lyrics who’s quality somehow don’t improve with the passing of time”. All jokes are done in good humour— if it seems like I dislike him, it’s not that at all. I just find him easy to make fun of.

Here is another short bio, this one less sarcastic: he was born in Trondheim, lived around Kvikne, and Lillehammer, worked at Helvete, was a close friend of Euro’s, and has his sun in Taurus.

He also beefed with Glen Benton for dissing the Party City cape (Note: of course I’m being extremely reductive) he and Euronymous seemed to share. Here are a few pictures of Faust:

Here is the infamous Party City cape:

*This was surprisingly hard to find. I think he read it in a mag or something. Here’s a link to where you can find it: https://issuu.com/davidgamble/docs/paranormal37/3 page 64-65.

*Slayer mag was another zine, this one by a bloke named Metalion, who was Euro’s best friend.

*Faust (who felt the strange need to make a distinction between himself, the editor, and himself, the interviewer) also played in Thorns (well, Stigma Diabolicum), under the hilarious moniker: Fetophagia✨

*He’s being a fucking idiot, what was I supposed to say? It should be noted that Faust actually went down for the snuff films too.....

*In case you’re interested, for whatever reason, the prices for the Burzum LP were as follows:

Norge— 130 NKR

Norden— 100 K

Finland— 60 FN

Island— 1000 IK

Europe— 15$

Outside Europe,

Overseas— 15 $

Air— 22$

East Europe— 10$

By ‘norden’ he presumably meant ‘northern Norway’, and “Island” is the Norwegian word for Iceland. Notice the way he doesn’t include Sweden! (Edit: Originally I thought he didn’t include Finland because there was a black metal war with them as well, but it seems as though that feud came a bit later or had already passed)

That’s all, for real this time!

Legal disclaimer: I am absolutely, in no way shape or form, claiming that the stupid cape you see them wearing is literally from Party City. From my limited research, I’ve gathered that the Party City chain hasn’t yet opened its doors in the beautiful and glorious country we know as Norway— Norge. However, I am saying that the cheap, dinky piece of cloth covering their backs and shoulders are of the same kind of shitty quality you’d expect from a Party City Count Dracula costume and that maybe Glen had a point about how stupid Euronymous (and Faust) must’ve looked.......