#its always someone else leaving | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ratsbanes · 4 months ago

Text

im tori spring like just the concept of "heres a shitty christmas/holiday/day with everyone arguing and you dont get to leave but your other family does" is literally my life

#actually last Christmas when this happened my whole family (- my dad) left #but otherwise #its always someone else leaving #curse not being able to drive yet #ill learn one day #shes me and im her except im the younger sibling #and i believe in optimism as a coping mechanism #it does leave me disappointed a lot but what can you do?#i know that makes us sound so opposite but its deeper than that i swear #heartstopper #tori spring #solitaire #solitaire alice oseman #alice oseman #alice oseman solitaire #solitaire tori spring #victoria spring

22 notes · View notes

evilherehotel · 2 months ago

Text

guys. guys the similarities. guys listen to me

#WHY ARE THERE SO MANY EVIL WOMEN THAT CORNERED YOU IN A DARK ABANDONED ROOM IN YOUR LIFE BOOK #i feel like shes always being emotionally or physically attacked by everything around her no matter what situation shes in #book you poor poor sopping wet cat of a contestant #its obvious shes kinda messed up emotionally by the things shes done but its also the little things looking back #freesmart left her in that shipwreck alone. in fairness el trapped her in but pencil almost immediately said she made a “noble sacrifice”#but she didnt sacrifice anything. she was just a victim and youre leaving her behind #not only was that memory probably fresh in her mind when she was again cornered in tpot 9 #so was the knowledge that this time it wasn’t an outer force that was doing it. it was her own teammate #death is meaningless in the grand scheme of things in the bfdi universe. we know this.#but considering book has always been thrown away by the people she trusts the simple act of killing her for a challenge feels so much worse #because it further drives in the idea that she isn’t worth nearly as much to them as they are to her #they can kill her or leave her at the mercy to someone else that wants to and not feel bad abiut it. because why should they #but she’ll always be desperately trying to protect the ones she loves because she never felt protected herself #holy shit okay.#moral of the story um. book knows a lot of evil women. pencil is the worst. book needs therapy. bye #bfdi #battle for dream island #book #bfdi book #i think i need to just make regular character analysis posts instead of terrorizing thw tags #osc #bfdia

29 notes · View notes

xlillyle · 11 months ago

Text

"We can delay the mission for another two minutes."

#crossposting from twitter #i really liked the post and i am obsessed with my own answer for it #so im posting it here too #first i wanted to use the i used corruption because i trusted you line #or of course you used corruption believing in me is a classic too #someone else did the latter already though on twt #anyways i ended up remembering this moment and went insane and posted it #wdym Dazai canonically said the end of the world can wait two minutes #just so Chuuya can have a real CHOICE #and he planned for an alternative too!! or well he was trying to #because he wanted to give him a REAL CHOICE #thinking about the lovecraft chapter and chuuya saying whenever Dazai says its his choice its not actually his #stopped typing here bc i went to discuss with Ray my thoughts about if Dazai leaves him a genuine choice every time and if Chuuya knows #came to the conclusion that Chuuya thinks its the illusion of a choice even though it isnt #the backup plan might be crazy and not as successful as a corruption plan would be but Dazai for sure always has one #nobody can convince me otherwise #uh ok this was a lot of rambling coughs #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #skk #dazai osamu #bsd #chuuya nakahara #bsd skk #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd stormbringer #xlillyle bsd threads

88 notes · View notes

fishyfishyfishtimes · 23 hours ago

Note

you have good opinions and you seem like a really cool person. thank you for being awesome on my dolphins post I appreciate it !

Thanks! The pleasure is all mine, ever since I was a child I’ve really liked dolphins and other whales. Even though my favourite animals are fish now, it annoys me to see people call them all sorts of horrid things and say they’re evil creatures with malice-filled hearts! It’s, first off, wrong, and second, shows a kind of lack of understanding about other species, how they experience the world and how they think. Because they certainly do not think like humans! And I hate how these things are used to compare one species to other species, to show how they are more good, or more evil. Even if animals fill a similar niche you cannot compare whole entire species on this ethics scale!??? They are DIFFERENT SPECIES and have evolved COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY. Is a rabbit more good than a fox just because the fox kills the rabbit, and killing is ethically wrong? No? Exactly. This is just like fitness (biology), fitness can only be used to compare individuals of the same species, NOT whole species to each other. Doesn’t work that way!

Ah, anyway. I just don’t really like seeing people be weird about animals. Fortunately many people are not!

#i dont think its so hard to be objective about different species even if you find the actions themselves immoral #infanticide is a horrible crime. but other animals? they dont know what humans find immoral. they dont comprehend their actions like that #or they may comprehend but first and foremost the passing of their genes comes first #or feeling good comes first. because other animals dont stop to ponder the morality of their actions. they cant!#they live in a dangerous constantly changing environment where they may not see another day #or even another hour #in most cases (im talking 99%) other animals are literally incapable of thought like that too #its just extremely complicated. i dont want lion males to kill other lions cubs. i dont want for a shoebill hatchling to beat its -#weaker sibling to death. i dont want a cuckoo chick to throw its “siblings” to their deaths. i dont want for mother animals to favour the -#strong babies and leave the weaker babies to starve and without love and care. i dont want for a parent animal to eat its babies alive.#i dont want these things to happen but they happen and the perpetrators do not see their actions the way i do #they do not think of their actions in any certain way or very much they just do them #naturally you can always hate a species of animal. you can hate and despise it so much #but you cant really call an animal species wholly evil?#its also just good manners and common sense to take your hatred and make your own hate-dedicated post instead of -#going on someone elses post who really likes an animal to say “i hate this animal. these are the reasons i hate this animal”#you can disagree on the animal all you want! but it will likely make the both of you feel bad if you try to start an argument like that #because then you will be arguing instead of having other like-minded animal haters talk about a topic you like discussing #asks #crabussy

13 notes · View notes

skunkes · 4 months ago

Text

the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)

but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.

the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore

#talkys #my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading #to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want #to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing #never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it #nothing seems very worth it #im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true #well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's #moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai #delete later #even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions #my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years #and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came #im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that #<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave #and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever #and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l

25 notes · View notes

hadesknockedupintheunderworld · 7 months ago

Text

Madk's mangaka is one of the few people who truly understands the old adage

Love and hate are two sides of the same coin

#madk #Motsu Akuma to Danshi Koukousei #makoto x jonathan #jonathan x makoto #this was one of the things about the manga that was endlessly beautiful and fascinating to me #often people cannot reconcile the idea of both being true #sure there are exes #people who love or once loved each other while also hating them #but it's not simply about loving and hating someone #and most depictions of this involve hate evolving into love or love evolving into bitter hate #but in madk love and hate are hopelessly intertwined between its main characters #Makoto is driven by his revenge and his hate for J #and yet even as he will not falter in his mission and continues to hate #he recognizes that no one in any realm holds his heart other than J #it's a twisted love #it's a story that admits that this love and this hate cannot be separated #it's a story that says by hating J Makoto has come to love him like no one else #Love and hate equal in obsessio #And it's what makes J's ending so tragic too #This was always going to happen #and it's not only that Makoto was deprived of the perfect resolution of revenge he desired #but it's the realization that after changing so much #after becoming that person you hate and obsessing over them so #they leave you. and now you're all alone. chasing the satisfaction of revenge once more. yearning to be loved and hated and obsessed over to #inflict your pain on someone else so you can feel some semblance of peace #and the cycle continues #Makoto wanted Jonathan dead early on #but when Jonathan died he took Makoto's heart with him🥲#i just be ramblin #madk spoilers

31 notes · View notes

triglycercule · 2 months ago

Text

swapinverse posting rn,,,,, (WAKE UP UNTITLED29876011111 MY LISTENER I KNOW YOU GET NO SLEEP BUT SWAPINVERSE CRUMBS SWAPINVERSE CRUMBS PSPSPSPSPPSPSPS)

anyways currently reworking savior and godDAMN is he soooo,,,,,,, my boy i love my boy. why does he literally combine the melancholic vibe of dust and then whatever the hell killer's got going on in his lore. hes literally so sad and emo and depressed but also has a perfect amount of i-dont-care-ness and built in commands,,,,,, hes so PERFECT my vision of this modernized savior is soooo amazing,,,,, none of you will be ready trust (hyping myself up over nothing)

i think its because i'm finally starting to THINK about my character's,,,,,,, characters?????? like before they were just concepts. i think. like just IDEAS and now especially for savior i'm starting to actually analyze his character and see where things go from there,,,, its sooooo fun i love this sosososos much,,,, now let's see if this streak of analysis will carry on for the 2 i still need to finish finish (crash and vice.SER my glitchy fuckass sons)

google what is the symbolic representation for ribbons and ribbon dancing and silk acrobatics. google ANSWER ME

#that last paragraph is because crash does those :3 he thinks hes so elegant SMH #siphon's supposed to be corrupted nm!ink but then i feel i may or may not have made him too NICE????#like what other traits am i supposed to add to make hin more like corrupted nm aside from the fact that he upsets the balance #and ink's already an asshole anyways!!! just that this ink wont be as energetic and just a tad more evil!!!!!#so what if i didnt do any canon research on anybody's origins that wasn't just the mtt SO WHAT OK #LET ME HAVE FUN WITH THESE CHARACTERS I DONT KNOW WITHOUT HAVING TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM #nevermind youre right...... i guess its time to do research on ink and error and CORE frisk and dream and nightmare....... siiiigh #AUAGHHHH I WANNA TALK ABOUT SWAPINVERSE SOOOO BAD #I WANNA BOUNCE IDEAS OFF SOMEONE BC IM KINDA STUCK FOR CRASH AND VICESER #BUT I CAN'T TELL SECRET MTT NATION MEMBER!!!!!!!! WHY NOT?????#BECAUSE I WANNA SEE THEIR RAW REACTION WHEN IT DROPS OFC WITH NO SPOILERS #listen is that sooo bad that i want people to be surprised and interested when it comes out IS IT #at least One person should be surprised and thats ok for me for nos #but unfortunately that DOES leave me with nobody to yap too........ feel so shahshdgsg #i NEED to talk about these characters i'm gonna go feral djdhshshhhhhhhh #swapinverse my beloved swapinverse my beloved maybe actually by this pace i'll finish in the summer of this school year???? who knows #i MUST make it a comic right??? what else can i do aside from make it s comic #or actually an ask blog i have no idea how ill present swapinverse to the world. but i've always had that issue sooooooo #the main story will be a comic......... other stuff people wanna know id asks.......... and then i guess i draw here snd there #oh gooodddd doing all that is going to KILL me but whatever i'm so excited for this project #i've been developing it since like basically freshman year swapinverse is growing with me 🧡🧡🧡🧡#tricule rant

10 notes · View notes

bucephaly · 5 days ago

Text

I think i need to add a section in the reconnecting masterpost about like 'to reconnect you absolutely need to learn to shut up, sit down, and listen without feeling to need to talk and take'

So many people come into the groups like 'I'm new here and I just found my ancestry and My Ancestors are calling me to learn ceremony and I need an elder to teach me!!' Like oh my god shut up, you really need to just. Observe and learn for the first few months at Least before you even consider opening your mouth

#my aunt got shut down quick in the group for randomly commenting on a meme like 'i feel like i finally found my family 🥺🥺🥺'#and someone had to come in and say 'she was vetted and isnt a fake' because she sounded like the new age hippy she is #and she was mentioning me too like sorry aunt julie leave me outta this lol #maybe its the autism but i dont get how anyone can enter a new social space and Immediately start talking and being loud #because i always have to watch for ages to make sure i dont make a fool of myself lol #and yea it just feels like you are wanting to take without putting the work in #seeing if you can say youre two spirit or get tattoos are you need an indian name or to learn ceremony or Whatever #like. chill and learn to bead or weave or smth. learn how to read syllabary and introduce yourself in the language. show that youre willing #to put some work in else youre going to look like you want everything handed to you #people really get into these groups and act so weird #'i need an elder to adopt me and give me a name and teach me' bro what ?? so youre just gunna come in here #and insist an elder drops everything to hand shit to you ? who even are you #its so WEIRD

13 notes · View notes

queer-ragnelle · 1 month ago

Text

I don't know who needs to hear this but if you go onto a post featuring a certain character and comment or reblog to tag that you hate them, particularly if it's someone's creation, you're the asshole and I'm blocking you. Nobody is making you interact with it. Shut the fuck up.

#arthuriana #arthurian legend #arthurian mythology #arthurian literature #sir lancelot #this was about lancelot which is why its going in these tags #also I want everyone to know I think you're a scumbag if you do this #do me a favor & block me ahead of time so I don't have to see your rotten personality anymore #this isn't even about whether I personally like the character it's about being a hater on someone else's post #go fuck yourself #not every opinion needs to be expressed #particularly on someone's art or writing or whatever #it's always lancelot too like why're you so obsessed with him?#he's not gonna fuck you #you're just being mean on someone's post to a real person over a fake person #get a fucking life #anyway end rant just know I have zero tolerance for under handed bullshit take it or leave it #my post

11 notes · View notes

sammygender · 5 months ago

Text

being a child is fucking crazy like the first 13ish years of your life are just spent entirely controlled by some random person and it has no bearing on how smart you are or the people around you actually are but you cant like. move 10 meters without someone elses permission.

#no one else ever seemed to have much of a problem with this but i do think part of the reason why i was so suicidal at 12/13 was lack of #agency. like literally practically every aspect of my life was controlled by someone else. i couldnt leave the fucking house without #permission like wtf!! id be suicidal again if that happened to me now!! and my parents were like kinda lenient too like i could wear pretty #much what i wanted and i did whatver i wanted with my hair and i had a bank account and could be friends with whoever and etc...#but. i was SO acutely aware when i was a kid that i was Not Free and it was suffocating i didnt have a second where i got to exist by Mysel #yk. unencumbered by what i was doing to other people by existing or doing things. up until i was like 14 at the very least. and even then.#theres still always someone you gotta Report to. idk... its just crazy when u really think abt it. like i dont have an alternative im just #thinking aloud #oliver talks

11 notes · View notes

puppppppppy · 9 months ago

Text

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it #idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character #someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it #and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly #its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked #because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately #like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means #it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by #a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time #i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid #so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or #smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them #become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words #but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened #especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that #need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta #once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it #circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it #actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt #i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me #that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly #mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them #have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP #IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL #yapping

22 notes · View notes

tangledinink · 1 year ago

Note

You've mentioned that rarely Swanatello's family is unable to come visit him. What would make it so that they couldn't?

Overall, they're very on top of coming to see Swannie and making sure someone is with him at just about all times, but there have been one or two occasions when things have popped up-- and even then, it's not that the family didn't come to visit him for the day, but rather that they were delayed. Think things along the lines of "X villain is doing something completely fucking batshit and we need all hands on deck to make sure no one dies and get things under control before we can go visit" and/or just simple miscommunication about what the plan is. It should also be noted that they are currently almost entirely reliant on Leo to portal them over to the Lake. If Leo is incapacitated or occupied for whatever reason and can't portal them over... then they can't visit.

#it doesnt happen often but it does happen #and they all always feel awful when it does #but it can be hard making sure that they ALWAYS have at least ONE PERSON with donnie #they'll do it absolutely without question because it's 1000% worth it to make sure donnie is ok #and to get to spend time with him #but its not without its challenges and occasionally they drop the ball a little #despite their best efforts #also almost... all of them have long-term injuries/lasting effects from the invasion still #mikey was gonna go but his hands are spasming really bad today so they send someone else but they have to make sure mikey is okay first #and that its safe to leave him alone #if raph is having a panic attack splinter cant just walk away to go sit with donnie instead until hes sure red is alright #is leo having a panic attack? flashbacks? disassociating? otherwise incapacitated?#well then they cant go visit #it doesnt matter if someone else is good to go #they cant portal over without leo and if hes not able to make a portal then it is what it is #swanatello asks #asks #anon

76 notes · View notes

the-kipsabian · 1 year ago

Text

a quick hot guide for people that struggle commenting on fics aka things authors love to hear and youre just over thinking it and its actually really simple to leave comments on stuff!!

key smash/emoji spam/reaction image/etc (it conveys emotions way more than you might think)

drop a line you really liked

say how much you love a ship/character and how happy you are that theres content about them

ALL CAPS ANYTHING

"i liked/loved/enjoyed/whatever it!" its better to say the most basic thing than saying nothing tbh; writers appreciate hearing anything over nothing 💜

"thank you for writing this" its short, sweet, and very powerful

think what kind of feedback you'd personally like to receive on a piece of art you made. try to translate that want into comments you leave for other people too

you dont have to be critical or constructive or anything, even if the author asks for that stuff in their notes. they'll get it from someone else, you just do you

i feel like people make leaving comments too hard on themselves, so really just make it simple. if you really dont come up with anything, just say thank you. youre there reading for some reason, tell the author what it is. fic comments dont need to be book analysis essays (tho those are. incredibly appreciated as well if you want to write one!!), writers publishing their works for free online appreciate any kind of feedback regardless if you consider it good or well written. a comment is a comment

bottom line is, leave comments on fics and other written works. its whats keeping this game alive

#feel free to add these are just the two cents in my brain rn #also absolutely reblogs encouraged #listen im not just speaking for myself i want to see every fic writer get more comments. more feedback #and dont even get me fucking started on getting reblogs on this goddamn webbed site im gonna blow up otherwise #just. fucking. support your friends. support your favorite creators. say nice shit about them and share their work #i cant believe this needs to be said in fucking 2023 god #im tired can you tell lmao #i also know im a fucking nobody talking about this but fuck if i dont who will ugh #as someone that tries their best to always leave at least a word in everything i read (which admittedly isnt a lot but still)#this is a very important topic to me. okay? okay #again feel free to add to this and its absolutely rebloggable if for nothing else than to remind people to COMMENT ON FICS #night is an absolute mess on main

75 notes · View notes

call-me-pup2 · 2 months ago

Text

Why are people blatantly mean and horrible in reviews? Like please let me know what's wrong don't just say 'it's shit lol' how the fuck am I meant to fix the situation or improve my work in general if that's what you've said?

#that is word for word a review i just got for my main business #people are absolutely entitled to their opinion and if you dont like the item fair enough but saying its shit and add lol is just nasty no?#tell me what the fuck is wrong! or simply say you didnt like it dont be nasty!#id never dream of leaveing such a chidish review of something #this is why i turned off my notifications for reviews because the horrible ones are always ridiculous #had someone complaing the other weeks because i didnt send them one of my photo props from the listing pictures?#like hello? that wasnt what was listed and its used in every single picture on my site why the fuck would you think its included?#in my six years of doing this not one single person has got confused on that but clealry im the idiot for them not reading the description #i have no one else to rant to right now since its 4am so you lot have to suffer the rant for now

11 notes · View notes

phagodyke · 4 months ago

Text

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man #thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking #mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they #dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done #listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life #i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this #once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i #dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this #ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be #i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about #how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being #given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out #entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please #its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have #to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once #and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general #feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this #but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is #i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired #i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if #i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore #i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr #and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning #my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better #it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood #my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it #cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen #.vent #ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.

12 notes · View notes

clamsjams · 1 year ago

Text

got inspired to try something new so heres this wikipedia poem inspired by etoiles and him losing the code fight and his relationship with the code and bunch of other little bits. it was pretty fun i might do it again sometimes

#it felt very freeing to borrow someone elses words #like theres less pressure to get them exactly right #ive never rlly been into blackout poetry but i imagine its a similar sentiment #not entirely sure how happy i am with the end but im just gonna leave it like this for now #i can always come back later #long post #poetry #wikipedia poem #qsmp #qsmp etoiles #etoiles #qsmp code entity #qsmp code monster #qsmp fandom #posts from the ocean #clamcreations

75 notes · View notes