#its almost 5 pm
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you know, for a person who thinks her grades determine her worth, i have a really bad habit of not studying for tests until the last possible moment
#i had the whole day off to learn for this test#its almost 5 pm#i have not yet started learning#the test is tomorrow and takes up an enormous part of my grade#yay me
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i feel like im going insane
#do teachers just forget that we take other courses too?#like???#ive been thinking a lot lately about what hobbies to give up for a little bit#bc i simply do not have the time anymore#i have to do at least 30 minutes of any sport every day#so usually that means going somewhere#also since our trip is going to be a lot of biking by the ocean ive been biking more#bc if i dont idk how im going to get through that#im at school for 9 & a half hours almost every day#i get home at 5 pm#in a few weeks itll already be dark by that time#then i still have to prepare for tests#work on small assignments#and a few really big ones#i spend at least one full day of my weekend working#almost non-stop#and this is supposed to prepare us for uni#but i really dont think uni is this heavy#like yeah its a lot#but it wont be 9 hours of school a day#and subjects i picked & therefore find interesting#ofc theres going to be ones i dont#but the majority ill (hopefully) enjoy#and i think you can go at your own pace way more?#now its constant deadlines#and no time ever for anything#i already know people having to take weeks off bc they too exhausted to keep going#its like everyone is approaching burn out#and we just have to keep fucking going#surely theyre exaggerating uni?? or at least forgetting how many classes we have??
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Hi y'all just came back to my room :") how's everyone
#its 7 pm (almost)#i left at 8 am#how do people do this istfg#gonna sit down this weekend and prepare 5/6 PACs bc my workload will increase next week :“(#:“)**
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immensely disappointed in what is probably now my ex best friend. don't get super close to people! lesson learned!
#its been 12 fucking hours that ive been waiting for them to add me back#3 hours since i sent them an email#and 17~ hours since they last messaged me#if this seems odd to you then you should know we're both basically no lifers and they usually go to bed around 12 am their time#which is 9 pm for me#it is now almost 2 am#that's like 5 am for them.
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i don’t want to go to WORKKKK but i have to make MONEY to SURVIVE
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puts on a clownish amount of makeup despite being in pajama pants and not going anywhere, just working on commissions
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my uncle died. hm
this is the first time i've ever reached the tag limit. the last word is meant to be funeral.
#text#interesting experience#i mean it was expected he's been suffering for a couple of months now. he got a lot better at one point and everyone was like woo you're-#-gonna survive! you're not gonna be like before but you're not gonna die but eh voila he died#like a week ago he was sent to the hospital because his kidneys just failed and the doctors said nah dude he's on his deathbed. better#just die at home rather than dying in the hospital alone so they took him home and they've been waiting ever since and here we are#personally i barely know shit about the guy. he used to deliver us bread and he shook my hand once and smiled at me. radiated a good aura#but i dont know anything. dad says he really respected and loved my brother and i so ill take his word for it#but man for the past like month its all you hear about. like i dont mean this in a derogatory way i completely understand dont get me wrng#but its just death death death all around#an hour or so ago i was walking my dog with my mom and brother and i just said i wonder if uncle's died yet#20 minutes afterwards my mom gets a call that he's died. uncle was in a different room from the rest of the family so they couldnt know#exactly when he died (we went to visit at about 5 pm today and he was alive but asleep) but my parents think it must have been around when#i said that. dad's superstitious and all and says that uncle sent me a sign. like i said apparently uncle loved me a lot. im not#superstitious but i'll take his word for it - uncle sent me a sign before he died.#i feel a little bad now. he seemed like a good man. im just replaying my only memory of him - that time when he shook my hand and smiled#like smiled very brightly. he and grandma look so alike. like ofc they do they're siblings but they look so alike#im very worried for my parents and grandma though.#espechially grandma. she's been at his house almost all week becuase she knew his time was soon#when we visited today we were supposed to pick her up and bring her home and then return her tomorrow but once we arrived she apparently#said (idk i didnt go inside i just wandered outside and pspsed at cats#that she didnt want to come home becuase he was very ill. she knew man she knew.#i dont know how she's going to handle this i just hope she'll be okay we'll do what we can to help her#i hope my parents are going to be okay too. me and my mom's relationship is rocky and i dont like my dad much#my dad returned from europe yesterday to stay with us for a month and i was really not looking forward to it. i always dread his visits#like dont get me wrong i love him just like im supposed to i just dont like him very much#but nonetheless i hope they'll be okay#as far as i know my brother also didnt know my uncle very well so i dont think i have to worry about him#he and i will just have to do our best to support our family i guess#about like 30 minutes ago my parents left for uncle's house and they'll return early morning tomorrow and then go back immidietaly for the
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i am, once again, shaking from how much sleep i need. but naur. i need to write that stupid paper
#its 4 pm almost 5. i have until 11. ill probably turn it in later BUT whatever. im setting that goal for now#more of an orientation mark actually#z xarre
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tmw you suddenly get possesed to do a butload of crosshatching like you are the manga artist of berserk on the ref of behemoth thorn as if the lineart itself wasnt tedious enough Why am I torturing myself like this
PAIN
#ITS ALMOST 1 AM AND I STILL NEED TO EAT DINNER AND TAKE MY MEDS#WHY AM I LIKE THIS#WHY CAN I ONLY GET MYSELF TO DRAW AFTER 5 PM#Btw im going for a bestiary kinda vibe for this ref#so thorn's info is written as if observed by someone who lived near his cave in his behemoth era#this has been fun but also my hand is starting to hurt so i should stop for tonight augh
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shadow the hedgehog plushy has been put in the freezer three (3) times total
#its almost 5 pm but it feels like. 9 am to me. wow. saturdays man.#i slept most of the day. anyway#my voice is still raspy as hell jesus#hung out yesterday with my friends :3 kiki's boyfriend visited here the entire week.#had a lot of fun yesterday im always happy to see my friends#chris noises#misc
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Where's that post about moms will come into your room and display signs of mental illness.
#got yelled at bc its almost 10 pm and I'm trying to sleep#apparently I'm being rude bc my mom wants to talk about a concert she wants to go to#and I'm sitting here trying not to fall asleep bc again#it's 10 pm and I've been up since 5 am#i managed to smooth it over before she got vicious thank god#I'm just a little sick of humbling myself and acting like some sniveling creature begging for mercy#to avoid getting my head ripped off every time my mother has an episode#whoever said mothers have unconditional love for their kids never met mine#she can be fucking aggressive when she gets going and its 10 pm i dont super wanna hear about what a piece of shit i am#it's like living with a half tamed rabid animal sometimes
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hate my company's new vendors so much its unreal
#text#dropped off almost a full pallet of shit i didn't order on 3/30 still havent picked it up or even sent call tags#been promising me call tags since monday it is Thursday i have received none. said yesterday id get them in the morning.#then this morning said I'd get them this afternoon. its 5 pm now.#y'all wanna see me suck start this shotgun
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No pluto fic this time. Happy wip wednesday!
#my post#i feel kind of shitty rn and i cant tell if its because i got a 78 on my exam#or if its bc i have things to do and people to talk to past 5 pm#if im home im not leaving my house past 6 at the latest unless its my choice#such as im in search of a sweet treat#but meeting up in the library with friends to discuss spring break? with people? and leaving my apartment and being out???#i dont wanna :’(#i have to go tho bc our trip was almost cancelled bc our friends car broke down yesterday and its one of the only two cars we havs to use#and 9 ppl are going lol#and i was kind of fine w it because the trip is a little expensive and then i got it into my head that we wouldnt go and i could see my pare#parents and it wouldnt be stressful or costly#but he got his car fixed :’( so we’re still going. which im not even mad about#bc i know itll be fun#im just nervous like i am before anything happens#i was nervous before our trip last spring break#before my trip to italy#and now again#im a nervous guy i cant help it#next spring break tho i dont want to do ANYTHING !!!!! i wanna go HOME !!!!!!#sorry 4 complaining i just feel blahhgggggh in general rn :’(
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ok so i had my first haircut at a salon today but i have SUCH bad sensory issues so i was kinda grimacing. then felt bad and apologized for my poor hairdresser bc oh god what if she thinks i hate it ir am naking her skill or smthn??
so i explained how i never had this before and got ‘some weird ensory issues’ with my ears and the sensation and im sorry but shes doing great and tell me why this fucking Milf with a capital M of a woman said ‘oh dont worry doll-baby, ill make sure be really gentle with you’ bc i think if i wasnt trying to cry i would have fucking cummed because holy fucking shit ??? ma'am????
#someone remember to send me this post next time i talk about feeling like an imposter/faker with my autism or whatever ok??#ok thanks besties :)#but i swear to fucking god its 11:20 pm. i had it cut at 4pm.#i am both still so woa womam...... at her AND think a pair of pliers to my eardrums would be the most logical choice rn bc god my ears ache#i cut my own hair all the time and usually it doesnt bother me? but having someone else do it and touch near them and then use buzzers....#my little autistic brain is a marble and its been rattling nonstop because bad sensory bad sensory bad sensory bad sensory bad sensory bad#she was so sweet but i had to manually breathe after this like thank u for trying!!! thats so nice !!!! but unfortunately im kinda gay !#also never ever getting someone else to cut my hair again. im about to go to bed at fucking 12 just to hope i can manage to get any sleep#and that itll help with this purgatory of being 5 minutes away from a meltdown for almost 8 hours
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It’s 80 degrees. In Wisconsin. At the end of October. How do people not believe in climate change?
#its almost halloween#we used to have to wear winter coats over our halloween costumes#sometimes it snowed#and today it’s 80 degrees at 5 pm two days before Halloween#beth posts
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Needing to drag your sorry ass out of the house when you really don't want to is the worst
#kee speaks#its my nieces birthdays today and theres a party tomorrow but i dont know what the fuck to buy for a couple of three year olds#and its already almost 5 pm and the only place to go shopping is an hour away 😩#i need poster frames so i guess just go to the craft store and walk around til i find something#and then treat myself to supper or something
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