#its all the childhood trauma

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[klanced]

this is why i never read voltron fanfic 💀

[dubacheryking]

I'll be honest gang if u aren't reading IT with the understanding that it's about childhood trauma and how it shapes u as an adult and prevents u from becoming a fully functioning, independent, balanced individual then we aren't reading the same book

[nutoka]

I wonder if it ever drove Rimmer mad that he couldn’t eat while he was a soft-light hologram.

Cus back in his childhood, he couldn’t have food unless he answered astro-navigation questions correctly. So I wonder if he went bonkers with insecurity because since he didn’t fix the drive plate correctly, he was then being punished with no food nearly permanently.

Yes, Rimmer can have hologram food, but is it the same? Plus we barely see him eat any food in soft-light mode except for one sandwich.

Or the other explanation is that when Rimmer was alive since he’s not used to having food unless he’s actively hungry so he doesn’t eat at all. So when he died, there is no hunger therefore no excuse to eat really.

But even though he doesn’t need to eat himself, he bears in mind that others do. Like in Marooned when Rimmer listed out available foods for Lister to eat and told him to pace himself. Also in Tikka to Ride, when the crew had to set up camp for the night in Dallas and he told Kryten to get food (even though he did cook a dead man they found on the street).

Whenever Rimmer gets a body temporarily, the first thing he does is eat something. Maybe because of the pent up hunger over the years or something I dunno. So I think when he finally got a hard-light body, he probably thought his probation was released and was no longer getting punished.

The man probably has a complicated relationship with food all his life leading to eating disorders and such. But I don’t think we see him eat at all after becoming hard-light after Legion except for sipping tea and that’s it.

[red-elric]

dave who learned imitation as a survival method....... dave getting into turntables and music mixing bc thats the one thing he can do with his bro without getting stressed out, getting into swords and ‘cool guy’ things bc when he acts like his bro and impresses him he gets hurt less, learning to act dry and emotionally disconnected from john bc john is well liked among his friends (and he likes john, too), learning to psychoanalyze by imitating rose because rose will back off if he manages to pick at one of HER sore spots for once....... dave realizing he doesnt want to be that person anymore on the meteor but not having any other method of becoming well-liked. dave imitating romcom protagonists to get karkat’s attention, becoming more and more grumpy and animated and dramatic bc of all the time he’s spent around karkat, dave’s dry humor getting more and more developed as he spends more time with rose and kanaya. dave who has a crisis (at least in another timeline) because at age sixteen he’s standing in his childhood bedroom and surrounded by interests he hasn’t pursued in years and sobbing because he doesn’t know who he is without trying to make someone like him. he doesn’t know which interests, if any, were ones he would have had if he’d grown up with a guardian that didn’t hate him, if the world hadn’t ended and if he wasn’t one of the sole survivors dedicating his childhood to creating a new universe, if he’d just been a normal kid. 

dave, age sixteen, who has no idea who he is or what he wants from life.

(https://www.homestuck.com/story/6306)

[backstabber128]

Here's some dad + daughter parallels that shatter my poor tortured heart even more👌

It's crazy to think they have so much in common despite completely different circumstances ❤️‍🩹

[newtlesbian]

going further. franks child self was living in that one room with a strange weirdo boy he dreamed up but never really had. now his inner child isn’t alone anymore. he plays games with his real charlie in their terrible one room apartment. getting weird with it and being okay with being weird no matter what everyone on the outside might think. sharing a bed together to feel the comfort in being close to that

macs child self had charlie the whole time. inseparable. a package deal. the most genuine connection and comfort in both of their neglected tiny lives. not just because they were otherwise alone. decades later theyre not going anywhere. now their inner child rides bikes together they throw rocks at trains together they teach each other about the world just like they needed so desperately in old times

dennis’ child self never had charlie. not until highschool. but that was exactly when he experienced his csa. his inner child found charlie at the exact right moment. caught him when he fell. he got his child self back through charlie just as he lost feeling. and now what do the two of them do together? they go recreate memories and recapture lost youth with a mutual unspoken understanding of why

they all need charlie. relaxing into his genuine youthful energy lets them feel that way again.

[alilaro]

those damned anime weebs were right, Neon Genesis Evangelion really does go fucking hard

[xmultifandomsx]

curse that robin

Robin is a curse. The joy and magic that it brings the person under the mask always fades. Nothing will ever be as precious as putting on the cape and mask for the first time. No feeling can describe that first patrol with Batman. It's like a drug and once you're hooked a part of you, no matter how small, will forever be chasing after that high. And when you inevitably lose the high, because you always will, the monster comes out. That mask brought out the best parts of the person under the it but once the mask is torn away those parts stay stuck to it, leaving behind only the ugly and uncertain. When Dick comes home to a younger him carrying his name, his colors, he can only feel betrayal. It was never meant to be a legacy, something to pass along when the wearer grew weary. Robin was his. When Jason is alone, reading article after article all about the newest in a short line child soldiers, he can only feel rage. He had died in that suit, for that cause, and still another stepped into his shoes. Robin was his. When Tim watches as Damian gloats in the suit that had all but been ripped from his hands, he can only feel afraid. Who was he without that suit, without the family that came with it? He had fought tooth and nail to carve out a place amongst the bats and birds. Robin was his. And it goes on. That was part of the curse, to give so much of yourself to the cape that you forget that most important thing. It is a mask, a mantel, meant to be passed on. Robin is no one's. If the bats had it their way, there would be no Robin but Gotham needs Batman and Batman needs his Robin. So, like all the good things in Gotham, Robin is cursed.

[that-assassin-ninja-stuff]

Me not reading the latest and relating more and more to this man 😭

Trauma and re-learning trust; hurts, cuts you deep.

[bloodcoveredgf]

longlegs is a movie about mother/daughterhood for real. throws up thinking about it actually

[gammija]

web avatar martin first time meeting a jarchivist, colorized

[celestialecho]

On homesickness, to a home that never was.

via ryebreadgf // the smiths, back to the old house // via wikipedia // adrianne lenker, half return // via edwardsaidpdf // sophie may, somewhere far // radiohead, (nice dream)

[scarycranegame]

>be me, fan of specific character

>find a handful of fics that characterize him particularly well

>the authors are all antis

>fuck my stupid baka life.wav

>a few other fics are written by proshippers

>they're all either trollfics, hastily-written basic smut, or fics where he shows up for like 0.5 seconds

mfw

[cheesy-cheddar-sadness]

i WISH i could be half as vengeful of a person as my bpd thinks i am, i could ruin your life in a fraction of a second, i could make you feel 00.0001% of what you made me feel, faster than you would know what hit you BUT IM NOT NOT THAT KIND OF FUCKING PERSON !! WHY!!! LET ME RUIN YOU LIKE YOU RUIN ME !!!!

[bonnie-toyour-clyde]

Just got to s13 in my rewatch and i never noticed before that when Sam’s alone in the bunker w Jack watching him try to use his magic (i think 13x3) he’s reading The Drama Of The Gifted Child which is book about discovering your true self after childhood trauma and repressed anger and the knee jerk instinct to become numb to cope with abuse etc and like…. I love that.

I love that he’s aware that he needs to heal his inner child if he’s going to raise this kid who everyone in the world will hate (especially his own brother, who Jack already looks up to and tries to mimic). And its beautiful seeing him confront Dean for telling Jack he would be the one to kill him when the time came (and it’s heart wrenching to watch Jack sitting on the floor behind the corner like a kid trying to listen to his parents in a screaming match while also staying out of sight to keep himself safe). But…

I also hate that we only see a glimpse of the book’s cover. Like I had to pause in order to read the title. And that’s ALL they give him in the later seasons to show that he’s struggling with all of this. With Lucifer being out, with trying to raise the antichrist to not be the antichrist (which feels strangely displacing, like Jack’s himself from 9 years ago and he’s in the role of Dean but trying desperately to do a better job of making sure the kid knows he’s loved), and losing all of the same people that Dean lost but not being able to grieve for them quite yet. He has soooo much on his plate (as per ush) and the writers refuse to give him any depth about it. Any trauma response other than a clenched jaw and scared eyes. They’re just like Look! He’s reading a book about childhood trauma! Can’t you see he’s traumatized?! and then only show it for a split second.

This is not to say that that’s a bad way to cope at all, again I think it’s amazing that he is reading this book and you can see that it IS helping him - but only if you squint. Its very subtle. Like he isn’t allowed to have upsetting trauma responses anymore, he’s too old for that, he isn’t the baby anymore, Jack is. And that’s really what breaks my heart - it’s the treatment of the (100+ years of) trauma from the cage and from the wall in his mind and from losing his soul as something he should be over by them. He’s a big boy. He can read a book about it, he’ll be okay.

Anyway I’m frustrated by the lack of care for Sam’s healing throughout but especially s12 forward