#its all about GROWING UP OKAY
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some roran doodles
#Eragon#roran#roran stronghammer#eragon shadeslayer#the inheritance cycle#its all about GROWING UP OKAY#the almost king my man I love him#my art
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It's my right to tell myself I can do just a little animation just for fun just for really quick to do some action and then spend 3 days straight on it
#animation#we were legion#2d animation#sketch animation#sketch#zagan#I jut really like drawing action okay...#Time and time again is too nice of a comic ykwim its like all about grief and forgiveness and self love#so the whole point is that there's other ways and we will always try for something better#and we will grow together#BUT NOT THIS COMIC!!!<t#this comic is about a demon who is a complete asshole and resorts to violence over literally everything!#he like gets better#but there's still action the whole time...#cause its not about anything serious its about like hey maybe theres OTHER things you can do that are cool#and that violence immediately isn't the best way to go...#but like sometimes violence is allowed#and so even in the end once he's better as a person#there can still be fights#YAYYYYYY#I love action AHHAHAHAHA#its so much fun to draw#ughhh#such a fuckin wonderful way to explore my love of anatomy and dynamic poses#like YES yes yes yes yes yes yes#let me draw a guy at like 100 different angles and they all have to match up believably#PLEASE GOD ITS SOO GOOD I LOVE IT#also I keep watching the animation. I like how it came out a lot...#ok bye.
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And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
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I have all of these extended thoughts on my head about the amazing way themes and character relationships are handled in Iruma-kun and the inclusion of queerness and the handling of the coming of age narrative in this shonen manga/anime
And every time all that comes out when I'm reccing it is "You should watch/read it"
Do it. Go watch/read Mairimashita! Iruma-kun/Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun
Please.
#mairimashita! iruma kun#m!ik#welcome to demon school iruma kun#i just be ramblin#anime recommendation#manga recommendation#Like okay baseline on its surface it's an isekai anime about a teenage boy who is sold to a demon by his terrible parents and has to go to#school in the demon realm and live there without being found out (otherwise he thinks he'll be eaten)#But it's also a story about growing up and a story about a kid from a terrible situation learning what it means to (and being allowed to)#have goals and ambitions and wants#It's about a kid who gets all his needs met for the first time in his life (and a little spoiled) and figures out he wants everyone to have#that#It's about friendship and bonds and the importance of working together with others#It debunks that usual take about how humanity's base traits are evil and greed and the urge to murder and steal and whatnot through#the comparison to demons‚ who are said to be all of those things at their core and yet in actuality aren't beholden to it#It's about outcasts coming together not letting other people determine their worth and proving just how high they can reach and what they#can accomplish. they force the world to recognize them instead of assimilating#It's about what happens to outcasts who are taken in by bad actors vs outcasts who get genuine support#It's about kindness#It's about how adults should both help the next generation improve while also being their defenders from things they shouldn't have to#handle yet#It's even about the dangers of being fully selfless or fully selfish. How personal desire/the serving of oneself and kindess/the serving of#others should be balanced#About how desire is not inherently terrible and about how being constantly self serving stunts one's growth#And it's also about a human who got sold to a demon and is gonna be the demon king one day#Thinking about this manga makes me want to chew through concrete I love it so much#*how constantly serving others stunts one's growth
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ive officially entered the stage of OC brainrot where i start putting him in outfits for fun and (zero) profit
#giving urself a crisis over ripping your own heart out? simply dont feel sad!#go to a fancy ball with all the friends you definitely dont have!#bury all of your feelings forever!#distract yourself from the urge to curl up and cry into a pillow via putting on your best worst bat in a fancy outfit cosplay#specifically to impress another way older actual bat (that may or may not be an ex god)#that doesn't care about you and doesn't reciprocate your attraction in the slightest#simply stop thinking about it. stop thinking about everything. be a bat. be the bestest bat in the whole wide world.#this has been great and totally healthy life advice with the scoundrel <3#yin art#legally FL but if i put this in the main tag i might actually die <- is shy#anyway ponytail scoundrel is unfairly cute. must the gradient on their hair 'make sense' and 'follow logic'?#is it not enough to simply be a little bat with zero thoughts in its head and a winning little :3 smile?#he puts a little gold drapery in his hair bc he thinks it helps hide the fact that the horns arent a head adornment and are in fact#Very Much Real. and Growing.#it hides literally nothing. he thinks he's so subtle. everyone knows you're a furry buddy it's okay you can stop being smug about it#fallen london
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Currently thinking of an Angel AU where Sanji is one of Cupid's angels for the past 800 years. He makes people fall in love. And for angels of love to ascend, reincarnate or reborn they're given specific clients that he needs to fall in love.
But he has a problem. A mold problem. He only has one client left that he needs to fall in love. And it's the lone wandering swordsman with an odd memorable green hair. And no matter what Sanji does. No matter who he matches the swordsman with as every new lifetime pass, the man just never falls.
And so, as Sanji begrudgingly stands on the swordsman's grave alone, he swore that on the man's next life (11th) he will make him fall in love by hook or by crook.
#sanji#roronoa zoro#vinsmoke sanji#zoro x sanji#one piece#zosan#black leg sanji#this is slight angst yall#sanji gave up concealing himself and showed up in front of zoro in the 11th life#his last resort was to annoy zoro to death about opening up and falling in love#zoro still finds love stupid#but falls i love with sanji anyways#sanji doesn't know because angels doesn't “fall”#zoro doesn't want to admit it because he knows once he does sanji will disappear/be gone. his mission will be over.#so he tries so hard to keep his feelings and he knows its impossible. crazy even to love someone that's transcendental#because he had been following Zoro's soul for the longest time he knows he was hiding something but can't make up what it is#zoro thinks all is well until sanji had been weakening. they didn't know why. until they went to an oracle that told sanji had sinned#his wings had started to shed and he grows weaker and weaker. Sanji's sin was Zoro fell in love him and sanji was starting to love him back#to save sanji. zoro was willing to rip & offer his heart up. but doing would remove his feelings but also he can never feel love#or fall in love ever again. zoro says its okay. he didn't want to fall in love with someone that isn't sanji#sanji still doesn't want to bc its the first time zoro felt love in centuries he'd known him. he didn't want to take it away from him.#sanji “dies” but since he was able to make zoro fall in love he passed his rebirth. cupid was moved by their love#so sanji was reborn in the current lifetime with his memories with zoro intact. they met each other after 2 years he “died”#they reunited. zoro met the strawhats during the 2 years.#the end#omg that was pretty long
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any other character I might not have noticed, but the way Roman holds his arms in front of him when he's crying at the funeral like a shield... like he might get hit...
#roman roy#succession#succession spoilers#yeah i'm gonna be unsufferable about this for AT LEAST 2 weeks considering whats happening next sunday#i didn't even think about it until i noticed the arm that wasn't holding the cue cards#was also held in front of him just him putting it between him and his siblings#like yeah he knew he 'wasn't supposed to' cry#and he's especially visible here in front of all these people#and what must dad think#i do think its a combination of him ineffectually trying to put something between him and all the people watching#and habit from how logan treated him growing up#okay mr armstrong i see your silly mirror i see it
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The thing about Stargate is that sometimes you just have to go 'it was 2005 🤷' and not excuse it but if you don't just sort of look past it then you're going to have a bad time
#like they can't do better because the shows have been off the air for 15 years#and compared to a lot of older shows they really didn't age that poorly#but yeah it has its fair share of misogyny and mild homophobia and objectification/backgroundification(probably not a word) of women#but yeah i think you've just gotta be like 'it was 2005' and not dwell on it too much#this is because of that post about rodney's growth in sga#and people not forgiving him for his misogyny#which totally fair if you can't that's all fine#just...growing up in that era i swear it feels like that's just how men were written#and again it's not okay! but like...i don't know i guess dealing with it for so long i just learned to look past it#anyway probably going to get hate for this oh well
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It's actually kind of heartbreaking how many people feel their life has ended right after high school or college, and honestly, the heavy romanticization of that period of time is so overwhelmingly predominant that it can be hard to avoid. It's insidious to constantly be told that ages 10-24 are the only worthwhile parts of life, that everything after is essentially meaningless and dull.
It's hard not to look around you and think that your life still is open and full of potential when you're told over and over again that the rose-tinted childhood is the last time you were alive. It's hard to realize that your life isn't over when you walk off the stage of your graduation.
We must realize that we will always be full of potentials. Your life won't be over until you take your final breath, and then? That's simply another chapter in your story, one of many. Let yourself realize that you're alive in the here and now. There will be good and bad, but never a complete loss of potential or hope.
#positivity#it's just... weird when you see somebody your age who says how over their life feels you know?#and i feel for them. i feel their pain and the emptiness of not knowing what's next or what you should do#and that's sometimes the scary part of life. but your story isn't over yet#one day it will be. one day you'll put the pen down and dry the ink on the yellowed pages and close your book of life. but that's not today#you are allowed to be an aimless spirit. you are allowed to breathe in without the crushing weight of productivity#the idea that your only potential happens when you're too young to realize it is wrong#your potential has nothing to do with feeling your youth and how little you know#it is hard to really internalize this and remind yourself to make space for hope and positivity...#...and you might not be ready to internalize this. that's okay. i'll wait with you (in a strictly spiritual sense)#we can wait together and not think about any of it. just to rest and collect our minds and feel the world hold its breath with us#all this to say that your life isn't over yet. you don't have to beat yourself up over not having lived at fucking 18#allow yourself the compassion to realize that you needed time to grow and mature and explore the world in your own way
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I'm just thinking of Annie losing her first tooth and showing you very proudly at drop off. You notice mattys being a bit weird, so you catch him before he leaves.
Annie just ran into the classroom, leaving just you two chatting on your own, "Sorry if this is overstepping, but you seem a bit off today. is everything okay?" you ask softly, stroking his bicep lightly.
matty gives you a sad but grateful smile and waves off your concerns, "No, it's not overstepping at all, don't worry. Annie losing her tooth has just made me realise she's growing up, you know? it seems like just last week, she was a baby crawling around the studio. or a toddler bashing the drums and dying laughing. just making me feel old"
he laughs it off but you can tell he's feeling really off about it so you slide your hand down and hold his, giving it a squeeze before saying, "I get it, she really is growing up. but I can promise you're not old, I saw one of the other dads talking to their kid about when he was a kid and the tv was black and white, so trust me - you're one of the cool young ones"
matty laughs and squeezes your hand back before walking away, feeling a little bit less emo lol
Annie is also VERY excited about telling everyone and showing them the £5 note that the tooth fairy left her.
(Once you and matty officially get together, you jokingly scold him for giving her too much money, "£5 I didn't think dirty hit had the funds for that," and he just goes "OI! cheeky...""
#okay but also her telling the boys about it... they also get emo.#that night they all get pissed at the pub and cry about how shes growing up and how they remember wearing her on their chests#they try to drunkenly call densie to talk to her but its 11pm and annie is asleep#matty gets scolded by her- “matthew! what are you getting drunk and crying for? and youve roped the others into it!”#teacher au!
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once again thinking about the part of Demian where Sinclair paints a portrait of a girl, decides it looks like his best friend if his friend was a girl, mentioning the way the subject is both feminine and masculine, and then later concludes it is more than that: it is a representation of his soul, fate, inner self, his very life itself. the portrait of the girl cannot be him but it could be the face of a friend or a lover, the face of his future but not his own future (the girl is not like him nor should she be) just that of those he surrounds himself with. the gender... Oh, how desperately Sinclair yearns to break out of the masculine he feels trapped in and be allowed in both worlds
#kris actually talks#meow meow sorry thinking a lot about this Always#i need to write my big long post about this but theres soooo much to talk about#this is a very good scene for its own reasons too of course but#i really like the gender reading too like ohhhh sinclair you can be like her its okay... you can have demians strange gender...#this all being tangled up in the era where he's so depressed and miserable and really facing what growing up means
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We would try to do it Santa but-
#animaniacs#animaniacs 2020#yakko warner#wakko warner#dot warner#okay so i did like season 3 it was good but this was my favourite episode#i think because when i was growing up all Christmas specials where about how the main character HAD to help santa and save Christmas#and when they went to do it i was overwhelmed with this super nostalgic feeling#and then they where like well we would but how about we dont#and idk to me thats an origional take on an overdone holiday plot so i ate that up#also it was one of the only songs where all the warners sang#and i liked how it wasn’t just a fun song or a moral song it was a mix#cause here comes the sea was good but the polar bear sang most of it#where this reminded me more of a quake which i was obsessed with when i was smol#i have had it in my head for over a week like to the point where I couldn’t sleep#and it is on YouTube but its in two parts so you bet im just yo yo ing between the two videos till Spotify uploads season 3s soundtrack#the warners#WB kids#Steven speilberg cartoons#oh i love these little puppy monkey children#oh i have also decided that yakkos favourite subject seems to be science and dots seem to be politics and social justice#and then wakko doesnt really hav an academic side but if he did it probably be maths because he seems to be very good with measurements#yakko wakko and dot#SoundCloud
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i feel like almost everything in utena has sort of already been extensively discussed in the last two (almost three) decades of utena's existence (not that there aren't new interpretations to be made, there always are) besides black rose arc (mikage+mamiya+tokiko). which is why they're so much fun to think about. i think the need to read between the lines makes it unfortunately easy to misunderstand or look past obvious stuff if you don't pay attention, but to me it's always been really obvious that mikage's arc is a literal representation of the erasure of queerness in ohtori (society?) by akio/everything he represents. and that's so fucking tragic! nemuro was never able to find a name for his desires. he lived and died as a puppet in the shadows.
#rgu#i think sadly that trigger warning list that people always passed around kind of stunted discussion bc of the assumptions it made#like. i think its okay to say that mikage/nemuro was always in love with mamiya and not tokiko#not that its impossible to interpret him as bisexual (similar to how people see utena as bisexual)#but his love for mamiya is what changed his life (same for utena/her meeting anthy)#one scene i never see people bring up is how#at one point mikage says that attaining eternity wouldn't even make 'her' happy#and then akio questions '''her'' you say?'#the only reason mikage thinks attaining eternity wouldnt even make 'her' i.e 'tokiko' happy is because he just had a conversation#with mamiya where he admitted the whole endeavor was making him unhappy#if anything it would have made tokiko happy to attain eternity and forever preserve her brother like a dead flower#which is what akio does with anthy! so fucked!#ALSO another thing#is that mikage sees utena as tokiko returned#just like how utena meets 'dios' - returned as akio#he claims he will finally beat tokiko - in this place (the dueling arena) - which is kind of foreshadowing utena fighting akio?????#anthy!mamiya says to mikage in the black rose musical:#“You can’t win against her. You will eternally lose to my sister who dwells in your memories.”#or “You will never beat my sister; who dwells in your memories.” in the nozomient translation#which makes so much sense because anthy couldn't believe utena could win against akio either#god i could literally keep going#by read between the lines i mean like how akio actively tries to lie to the audience by saying things like#'mamiya was created for you out of your lingering attachment to tokiko'#of course nemuro/mikage being gay isn't all there is to him bc like always everything in utena has 1000 layers#really love the general theme of becoming static and unchanged forever bc of our attachment to nostalgia/memories/eternity#(re: can't grow up)#tho in mikages case he is literally just a ghost summoned by akio. which the utena sega saturn vn confirms#also definitely people talk about black rose arc (i.e me right now) but i feel like the majority of the fandom kind of side steps it#on tumblr specifically at least?? im not on the fansite forums or discord#rgu meta
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btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage
#and him trying to stop neil from asking if todd not reading at the meetings is okay isn’t him wanting not to go#its him not wanting neil to ask because (as someone with social anxiety) it’s EMBARRASSING ASF for someone to ask for things on your behalf#literally just think about it as the meme of ‘when i tell my friend im hungry and he tells his mom that *i* want food instead of both of us’#and the whole ‘neil not knowing how to take no for an answer’ thing…… dont get me fucking started#the kid who’s had to take no for an answer his whole life? the kid whose first proper scene IS him taking no for an answer? are you serious?#being encouraging and accommodating and (admittedly) a little pushy when he’s got his mind set on something—#—is NAWT the same as not being able to take no for an answer or bulldozing through conversations with people#he and todd DO listen to each other in those conversations theyre just on opposing sides—#—because their understandings of the world don’t fully align at that point in time/the movie#which is totally fucking normal?????? because later on they DO properly align?????????#i feel so crazy about this every time i see someone say todd didn’t want to go the dead poets meetings because it’s so obvious he DID#he was just scared#and you know what maybe it IS a little forceful#but given how dedicated todd is to shutting off and hating and isolating himself he NEEDS a little forceful to be broken through to#if no one ever pushed me to do things when i was scared (as irritated as it can make me) i’d never do SHIT dude#and obviously todd is the same way because he ALL BUT OUTRIGHT SAYS AS MUCH#‘i appreciate this concern but i’m not like you’ IS about neil’s voice and opinions mattering to people but it’s ALSO about—#—him being outgoing and trying new things and putting himself out there#WHICH TODD WANTS TO BE ABLE TO DO!!!!!!!!#the moral you take away from todds growth is NOT that he has to change to be accepted because he DOESNT#its that he has to gain the confidence and belief in himself to grow and become the version of himself he WANTS to be#he NEVER changes on a fundamental level to make others happy (although his growth does make others happy) he just opens up more#and i dont know WHY some people think his arc is becoming a completely different person#like yall PLEASE#this isnt even an anderperry thing this is an issue even if you read them completely platonic#i blame the FUCKASS novelization…. dps book you will always be hated by ME#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson
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suggestion do you have... any wants? like obviously you do but like? suggestion my guy my ourple boy. both the easiest and hardest to write. you need a skill to say something to move conversation along but it doesn't fit any skill in particular? about 80% of the time you can have suggestion say it and it will make sense. but like actually characterizing him... how do i define you dude... what makes your character tick... urgh. i dont get you yet. im trying to understand but you are difficult.
#chemi chats#there are some skills that i just dont understand yet and that just means i have to work on their character study chapter#im reading his bio and i think suggestion is a good manipulator and it's instinctive and he tries not to feel bad about it?#he's clever!! charming!! friends with savvy and drama. planting seeds in the mind and coaxing them to grow towards him like he's the sun.#a crude oil reservoir lying beneath a carefully laid flower bed. taps into the roots. the plants don't know any better than to drink.#he's great at sensing what makes people tick and uses that to his advantage. he needs goals to look forward to so he knows how to best#pull the strings to get them there. otherwise he's a bit aimless. he likes being useful. and since influencing others is helpful#he just keeps doing it? because it's what he's good at. and he tries to convince himself its fun and cool and just cuz hes charming and#it's his role as a skill and manipulation isnt thaaaat bad because it's helpful to them after all... but he does feel bad sometimes.#oh im listening to his voice lines and i just got to ''brother you should have put me in front of a firing squad'' and im sad about him now#but what do you want for short term little guy?? probably for people to like him. he likes chatting with people. i bet he'd like genuine#conversations with no strings attached but there's always some part of him filing information and tidbits away that he can't turn off#subconsciously figuring out things he can hold over them or how he can nudge them into thinking someth-/wait.../ no. no he's just talking.#he's /supposed/ to just be talking stop analyzing them stop falling back into that just have a normal conversation!! but he can't help it..#hm. this is all really helpful for his chapter. he and empathy are very alike but also different. very interesting...#task: swept up#okay good talk everyone i think i understand him a little better now lmao?? still gotta figure him out some more hes not fully there but ye#also i think he goes by whatever pronoun you think he'd use. just ''oh what do /you/ think i am hm?? what /would/ i use; do you think?? :)'#funny fella. i love you.
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filler doodles about how i comedically whitewashed myself as a child (despite also being the darkest i had and still have ever been in my entire life) because i cannot wrap my head around it
#filler art#my art#i was also short haired at the time so its odd i drew myself as having very long hair but is it any more weird than me whitwashing myself no#i remember i also imagined myself to grow up as a white girl like#HUH??? like i was so convinced i was going to look like all the white main character girls on television ... i had to look like one#all of this was probably because of the lack of representation in tv i could find at the time tbh#BECAUSE THIS WASNT AN ISSUE OF MY DAY TO DAY LIFE NOOOOOO#in here being... moreno?!?! . brown?!?!! EVEN IF LIGHT IS MILES MORE COMMON THAN BEING WHITE#AND ITS SO MUCH MROE SILLIER BECAUSE I WAS MCUH MORE DARK THAN I CURRENTLY AM BACK THEN#as of now im more so lightskinned . nowhere near white but im not very dark either because i dont see rhe sun often ww so im pale#BACK THEN I GOT BURNT ON THE SUN AS A HOBBY im serious i sat on the hot rock floor with burning sun climate bevause it was nice#NOT EVEN THE CURLS COULD BE SAVED I HAD TO PORTRAY MYSELF AS STRAIGHT HAIRED FOR WHATEVER REASON#like on my defense i did straighten my hair out a lot as a young child but THAT LASTED LIKE 2 DAYS EVERY TIME#so 90% i was curls so its funny#ALSO WHY DID WE CALL THE CREAM COLOR “THE SKIN COLOR” WHAT#like. it wasnt just me . whole elementary school knew if you asked for rhe skin color you talkin about thay#any tone of brown simply did not work I DONT KNOW WHY WE WERE ALL LIKE THIS???#thankfully at the age of 10 i realized i infact had melanin but .. i coudlnt accept i had black hair still💀💀#so my skin and hqir color were always the same in portrayals ITS SO FUNNY IM SORRY#I FIDN THIS INSANELY FUNNY IM SO SORRY#dont feel too concerned i wasnt ashamed of my skin color or anything but i had the warped idea i would look white soon#not if you keep cooking youself in the sun you wont /j#i dont know what to say about how i draw myself now a days i dont draw myself as myself but i know i aint white now its okay 🩷 (/hj)
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