#its about time we got high quality in-game video of his new fit

[weirdmageddon]

hes so fucking gnc slay absolutely foaming at the mouth luv…..

[zeldareyesblog]

Bayonetta 2: The Controversial Witch Trials

**This was a responsive essay that I had written back in February 24, 2020 and revised on March 1st, 2020 for “Introduction to Composition” college class. Yes, I got an A+ on this.** 

                            Bayonetta 2: The Controversial Witch Trials

           In Giuseppe Nelva’s article, “Bayonetta 2’s “Over-Sexualization” Complaint: A Perfect Example of What’s Wrong with Modern Reviews”, I  found the reviews of the game to be unfair because Bayonetta 2 was judged based on the amount of provocative imagery it contained rather than Platinum Games’ improvement from the first Bayonetta’s gameplay, mechanics, and creative execution. Nelva’s concerns were the same as mine because we believed that no videogame should be judged by the amount of controversial content it has. Instead, video games should be judged if the video game’s creators have exceeded beyond expectations to entertain the players.

Video game reviewers are needed to help companies like Platinum Games improve their work ethic, so that the next video game they make from that specific series would not feature the same issues again. However, we have big video game reviewers like Polygon, who has judged this video game based on its “blatant over-sexualization” rather than Bayonetta 2 game’s execution as quoted from article, “I won’t guess why the blatant over-sexualization is still there, often more intensely than before. But it causes an otherwise great game to require a much bigger mental compromise to enjoy.” Even though a 7.5 out 10 would not be considered an awful rating for Bayonetta 2, it deserved more than that and it also deserved a more objective review rather than a subjective review despite the obvious adult content mentioned by Polygon’s throughout most of the review. While Bayonetta 2 did include sexual themes and references throughout the franchise and characters as much as strong language and violence is concerned, should it be used to solely judge the merits of a videogame? What if the creators of Bayonetta 2 intentionally put the controversial content there to show how our virtuous boundaries could be broken under harsh circumstances, but can still become a strong, wise, and beautiful person against all odds?

           To be honest though, I did understand that when my mother and I bought this video game from GameStop just last year during the holiday semester break as my New Year’s Eve present when I was 19 years old, she and I were both already aware of the  content.  Such as female characters being portrayed in a sexualized manner with extremely exaggerated proportions displayed in tight-fitting suits while in combat. There were also female characters being stripped of those suits for a brief amount of time to summon “infernal demons” as an aid in combat for huger enemies until their wicked weaves covered their private parts, and the innuendos spoken while the female characters interact with male characters in advance. However, the reason my mother approved of me playing that game, regardless of the adult content, was because she took her time to educate me about such content prior to succeeding my first semester in college. Because of our mother-daughter conversations,  it was still pointless to judge the game based on its own provocative content and more on how it has executed itself as an entertainment medium as a result. Unlike most parents that I met who let my friends play M-rated video games before they completed their secondary education and reached the appropriate age, my mother never let me play any M-rated game until I completed my secondary education and when I reached the appropriate age of 17 years old or older according to the Entertainment Ratings Software Board (ESRB) guidelines because she believed that proper  education and parental guidance would develop a real sense of maturity and high tolerance on all adult content that I would be exposed to in the future and she was right about that.

           Furthermore, when I compared my now adult self to the friends that played a variety of M-rated videogames while they were underaged and still in middle school a very long time ago, I remembered that they were complete hyperactive chatterboxes to the point of aggravation, became more aggressive in their gaming habits and personalities, and even learned new curse words that I have never even heard before. When it came to sexually suggestive content in mature-rated video games, my old middle school friends did not seem to process that kind of content in a composed and civilized manner which resulted in them having some misogynistic and judgmental views of women, especially fictional video game women like Bayonetta who had self-confidence on and off the battlefield and remained fearless in her sexuality and beauty. Although, I did not blame M-rated video games alone because I knew that it was obviously the parents who enabled their underaged children to play those mature-rated video games since they were impatient and did not take the time to teach their kids about what kind of content they could be getting themselves into if they bought the game no matter how entertaining it was, and why they should not expose themselves to it until they are at the appropriate age anyways.

           Moving on, Nelva has mentioned in his article that “What should be reflected, first and foremost, in a review’s content and in its score is the game’s quality, and while several aspects of “quality” are subjective, there are also many that aren’t. Production values are an example: graphics, animation, audio, textures, effects; Those are objective aspects of a game’s value that should not be overlooked.” As somebody that has owned and played this video game series, in my perspective I think that Bayonetta 2 has exceeded expectations from the Bayonetta 1 when it came to smooth gameplay mechanics – being able to reduce the amount of constant button pressing to fully complete charging attacks. Not only that, but Platinum Games has provided extra abilities for players such as giving Bayonetta the ability to glide on higher platforms with her Madama Butterfly Wings after jumping upwards and a variety of random “hack and slash” combo attacks on all bosses and mini bosses that will leave the players in suspense on what Bayonetta would do next, and included online gameplay levels and offline quests that challenge the players’ skills after completion of the story mode. The graphics and textures of Bayonetta 2 were beautifully executed to even reach cinematic levels of gaming throughout cutscenes and gameplay with the camera angles strategically displayed on the entire environment, and used closeups appropriately on the characters to present details on their unusual cosmetic makeup, clothing designs, and accessories as the characters communicated with each other. As for audio, the music soundtrack provided a mysterious, foreboding, yet epic emotions that could keep all players on edge and interested in the story mode. Furthermore, the dialogue between the characters was uniquely portrayed and ranged from what strong, young women and men would realistically say or react if they had encountered any enemies based on their three-dimensional personalities.  If videogame players were tight on budget to own a headset, they could still experience the same amount of interactive and immersive fantasy-adventure gaming that Bayonetta 2 has provided as an entertainment product that would keep the players entertained for many years to come.

           That objective review I made would convince so many young adult audiences to play Bayonetta 2. Eventually, it would have gained plenty of new fans to move this game up the ranks from being stuck in the “under rated” games category to gain widespread popularity. Never had I put in my own opinion on Bayonetta 2’s provocative content, because I know that judging a game based on what kind of adult material it had was not my job as a reviewer and I already assumed that my audience knows better what kind of material they would get themselves into before buying the game to begin with.

          What amazed me now was how the world wanted to showcase diversity and promote less censorship in the entertainment industry. Although, once we get what we asked for there are a lot of negative people out there on the internet that make so-called entertainment reviews to talk about how the characters in a television show, movie, or videogame do not fit their own beliefs.  According to Nelva, “It saddens me that between the many calls for diversity we’ve seen lately, some actually fly in the face of diversity itself by implying that games that celebrate sexuality and beauty like Bayonetta 2 should not exist or are not worth playing and enjoying.” This quote was a reminder to me that I should not judge any video game based on the number of suggestive themes it contains, but if it exceeded my expectations on quality video game entertainment.

         Overall, I believed that Bayonetta 2 was a compelling video game that unfortunately received a bad reputation since huge video game reviewers like Polygon judged this video game based on the amount of provocative content it contained rather than the actual gameplay and creative execution itself. The creators behind Bayonetta 2 were considered artists because they told a narrative story and designed characters beyond our own imagination and made money from our fascination in this fantasy, action, and adventure game. Besides that, the purpose of video games was to provide another form of quality entertainment that all young adult audiences could enjoy at their own leisure time and Bayonetta 2 would have been one of those videogames if we had better reviewers that judged it based on gameplay and performance, instead of content.

  Works Cited

Nelva, Giuseppe. “Bayonetta 2's ‘Over-Sexualization’ Complaint: A Perfect Example of What's Wrong with Modern Reviews.” DualShockers, DualShockers, 17 Oct. 2014, www.dualshockers.com/bayonetta-2s-over-sexualization-complaint-a-perfect-example-of-whats-wrong-with-modern-reviews/.

[lilfunkers-fnf]

Just an untitled fic featuring characters from @friday-night-demonic

It was late afternoon. Sen was finally able to take a worn out Kasumi “home” from the park. And by home it was “sneaking” into the back door of the daycare that he knew Matt or Garcello left open for her, Tabi or Whitty incase their home lives got too rough. Then, he felt the grasp of her hand in his let go. Probably wanted to pet a stray cat.

“Come on Kas, you know we don’t touch stray kitties.” She turned around to show him a plush that was the exact same height as him in plush form and looked very similar. There was no pink streaks in it, replaced with brown edges and it’s eyes were covered by roses. It’s dark purple sweater was dirty and the dark purple capelet with pale gold trimming and orange star shaped button was even more dirty and a bit torn in a few places. The shoes and pants were just as dirty.

“Can we take him with us? He’s dirty and abandoned and we can add him to our family!” Her eyes pleaded just as much as her tiny voice did.

“Alright, but no walking away from me ok?” She nodded excitedly and held the new plush in one hand and took Sen’s hand with the other.

-

Back at home, Sen immediately threw the ruined clothes in the washer while Kasumi raided the dress up clothes to find something for it to wear. How did she know the dress up clothes would fit? It involved a nap, Lucy, and an anxiety attack.

“Would this one work Bee?” She held up a prince’s outfit. No response. “It’s just until your clothes are clean it’s not permanent!” Sen peeked his head out from the laundry room.

“Everything ok there?”

“Yep! Just helping Bee pick an outfit so he isn’t running around naked.”

“Bee?”

“That’s just a name he had in his head while I was trying to pick out one since he didn’t remember his.”

“Alright then.” Sen turned back to the laundry while Kasumi dressed him.

“All done!” She reached out to pat Bee on the head only for a split second to see him flinch. “Hey, I’m not going to hurt you.” Her tone was gentle and soft. “I was just going to pat you.” She slowly reaches out and pats him. “See, like that.” Silence. “Roses hurting if I pull them? I won’t at all, I think they make you look handsome.” She clearly has no idea what handsome means since she’s only 4. Then a light turned on in her head. “I know what would make you feel better!” She rushes off only to return with a table, a tea set, some animal crackers and an already opened bottle of apple juice. “How about a little tea party, just you and me? Ok not exactly a party but we can just have tea and chat.” Silence. “Hey Sen! Would you like to join us?”

“I’d love to, but I’m busy with the laundry and then I’m going to grab us dinner.” Sen replied from the other room.

“Ok!” She turned back to Bee. “He won’t be, sorry. I can introduce you to someone else!” She leaves for a few minutes again, returning with a chair and a white haired plush doll. “This is Haru. My friend Tommy gave him to me.” She places Haru in the chair before setting up the tea set in front of the three of them and starts to pour apple juice into the cups. Once the apple juice was poured, she opened the 3 packs of animal crackers, putting one in front of each of the participants.

“Let us begin.”

-

Even though he really didn’t want to feed her fast food, it was the only warm thing he could really get for her because they couldn’t afford or risk buying a portable burner. Slowly creaking the door open, he noticed how animated Kasumi was talking to this new doll. She looked happy for once.

“Pardon my interruption, but dinner’s arrived.” He said as he knocked on the door frame.

“Thanks Sen.” She smiled. “Come and join us. I’m telling Bee about the time Keith got stuck to the ceiling fan in the art room!”

-

“Bedtime kiddo.”

“Really?”

“Kiddo, it’s almost 9 o clock.”

“Ok… Can I get Bee his other clothes?”

“Of course. They should still be fresh in the dryer.” The quartet went into the laundry room where Sen pulled out the outfit from the dryer, still nice and warm.

“See, nice and clean.” Kasumi told Bee. “I’ll help you get changed.”

Once the plush was changed into his former outfit, and the previous outfit was neatly hung back into its place, Sen escorted his human into the “bed” which was really several of the nap time mats stacked ontop of each other with many blankets and pillows.

“Can I have a story?” She asked.

“Already have one.” He held up a book of fairy tales. “Which one do you want?”

“You pick!”

“Hey Bee, even if you don’t know where you came from or who you are or even your inability to really talk, we'll be here for you. We’ll make new memories for you to have. I promise.” Kasumi whispered before falling asleep.

-

Where was he? Why was he under this girl’s arm? Why was it this dark? It all dawned on him. The magic anon, this girl finding him, oh no. They’ll be after him. He couldn’t put this girl at risk. Slowly getting out from under her, he ruffled her hair before stumbling around the dark halls and to the office to write a note for her to explain it all.

Kas,

I’m sorry I have to go so quickly and this being the only explanation I can give. I’m not actually a doll. I’m actually a demon who was trapped in a video game. When I escaped, it ruined me so that’s where the roses and an inability to speak came from. A magic anon turned me into a doll. And I have to go so I don’t get you two hurt. They’ll be after me. Thank you for washing my clothes and for the apple juice and animal crackers

I hope to be in contact with you again someday. I’ll keep our memories in mind for the rest of my days

~ Best wishes, from Bee. :)

It wasn’t much but it would have to do. He then looked at the daycare one last time before vanishing, leaving the note in the same room as the duo.

-

“So he left?” The tears in her eyes were just ready to pounce. “I did something wrong didn’t I?”

“No sweetie.” Sen pulled her in closer. “He wanted to stay with us, he really liked you, he just wanted to keep us safe, that's all.” He’d hunt the bastard down and ask why but, it was almost time for the adults to arrive and he didn’t want to risk it. “Bee wouldn’t do it to hurt you. I promise.”

-

“Lem, I have a favor to ask.”

“It’s weird to see you here [Redacted].”

“I know, it’s just this girl I met during the magic anon…”

“Oh! Is someone interested?”

“No, I’m not interested! Let me finish speaking first! She’s a human child! Why would I be attracted to a child, let alone a human child!?” His mouth snarled as he signed. “I had to abandon her when the effect wore off but I feel really bad since she absolutely adored me in that form. Is there any way you could make a plush clone of myself I can send to her?”

“Of course. I just can’t make one of your current height.”

“That’s fine. I was thinking about 3’5 anyways. Just like how she found me.”

-

“Why is there a package for Kasumi? I didn’t even know she gets mail.” Garcello said as he brought in the mail.

“Knowing our luck it’s a dead rat.” Annie continued.

“Please don’t.” Lila shuddered at the idea of a rat, let alone a dead rat.

“Hey kiddo, you have a package.” Garcello handed Kasumi the decently sized box.

“Thank you.” Once Garcello was out of earshot, Kasumi started to talk to Sen. “Did you order something?”

“No…. It’s only read as Kas. Maybe it’s Bee?” The orange haired “doll” replied.

She opens the box to find several boxes of the high quality cookies she yearned for, a small bottle of fruit punch, and a plush with a note.

“Hey kiddo! I might not be able to be there for real, but I figured this plush could take my place for a bit! Enjoy the treats as well!

-Your friend Bee.”

The plush looked exactly like he did that night, and was the exact same height as Bee was that night. She squeezed him tight and smelled the faint smell of lemons.

“Sen, he’s back.” Sen softly smiled and joined the embrace as well.

“Hey! Are you going to share the snacks?” Whitty called out.

“My snacks Whitty! Not sharing!”

[wrestlingwithhistory]

Why do I like Pro Wrestling?

Even though I’ve put a few posts up on the page already I wanted to introduce myself a little and break down why I’m doing this and give a bit of history about me and why I like pro wrestling.

My name is Kyle, I’m 33 from South Wales, I am married with 2 children. I first started watching wrestling when I was about 7 which I will go into as we go through the post. I started this blog for 2 reasons.

1.     I love stories about pro-wrestling and wrestling itself.

2.     I am starting a creative writing course and want to keep on top of writing so that I am comfortable with writing as I haven’t done it since I was in school.

Now, there are a million stories from Pro Wrestling that you’ve heard from the Benoit Murders to The Montreal Screwjob to The Plane Ride from Hell, but I have an interest in writing about the stories that people are maybe not as aware of that still involve some of the biggest names in Wrestling history.

Nowadays, we can be thankful as wrestling fans that we have a multitude of ways that we could watch wrestling thanks to the rise of streaming sites, Youtube and online stores which you can buy DVD’s or digital copies of your favourite events. Being a child of the 90’s, you would stumble across wrestling almost out of nowhere. I remember being in my grandparents’ house maybe aged 5 or 6. I never had satellite or cable TV growing up, only terrestrial, and coming in one morning and seeing Hulk Hogan on the TV in my grandparents’ house really caught my attention. I couldn’t tell you what show it was or who else was on it, but I remember as I watched Hogan, waving his arms to the crowd and cupping his ears to the Hulkamaniacs as he did throughout his career, that I held a curiosity toward wrestling and did ever since.

I can then remember a few years later one of my best friends growing up had a video at home which on the cover, a man would be fighting himself! Undertaker vs Undertaker. Back then, it was the most amazing thing possible, the mystery of how a wrestler could square off against himself in the ring was unimaginable for a then 7–8-year-old. Of course, that event being Summerslam 94 would not be the great event you look back on, but you appreciate the spectacle of it. I do look back fondly on that VHS and as I watch the event back, the standout match-up is clearly the Owen Hart vs Bret Hart Steel cage match, but it’s not the type of thing you value as a child.

You value spectacle. You value entertainment. At least I did anyway. You treat it the same way you treat a cartoon or movie, you suspend your disbelief for a few moments and take in the pageantry of it all. Some people class Wrestling as 3rd hand entertainment, and I have had many occasions where people have made jokes of the fact I watch wrestling, to the point where I would not even mention it if asked.

But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to not care and be happy with the fact I like it so much. It’s not a guilty pleasure, It’s just a pleasure. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve also embraced less of the spectacle side of it I once did and look at the athletic feats that take place in the ring, focusing on the technique that these men have to make it look as dangerous as possible, all the while keeping their opponent safe. I do still appreciate the entertainment value, but I definitely look at things like the work rate of the competitors and what they are capable of.

During my teens, we used to travel to video store not too far away from us in a town called Bargoed. Global Video was one of the first places to stock ECW VHS cassettes. My friends Daniel, Josh and I would go there, pick out a few VHS and go back to Josh’s room to watch them. One of the first ones I can remember watching was Living Dangerously 1999. For its time, the pacing and the layout of the matches were a perfect fit for that show. I remember thoroughly enjoying Tajiri vs Super Crazy, Sid and Spike Dudley vs The Dudley Boyz and also New Jack vs Mustafa which was enough violence for a teenage to endure at that point.

The one match from that event which today I place in my top 10 matches ever is Rob Van Dam vs Jerry Lynn for the TV Title. Watching the opening exchange between the two men figure each other out, reversals of pins, hammerlocks and wristlocks was fantastic and when they separated and looked at each other, it was rapturous. The crowd ate it up. You could tell something special was taking place. As the match continued, I saw things that I never would have seen on WWF during that time realistically speaking. There was a reason the E stood for Extreme in ECW. They always took things to the next level, and while the TV Title was far from being the most brutal match on the card (in part due to New Jack!) it was creative in the way it structured the use of weapons, tablet spots and fighting outside the ring. When the bell rings at the end for a timer limit draw, as a first-time viewer you feel almost cheated, not by the quality of the match but by the fact it could have gone on for another 30 mins. When Jerry Lynn requests 5 more minutes and is granted it, you think you are in for a Jerry Lynn victory but RVD pulls it out of the bag at the end hitting the 5-star Frog Splash. And great ending to a great match.

Throughout this time the Attitude era was in full affect. WWF had a huge roster of stars that any company would have been proud to have, Stone-Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Triple H, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle. It was a pleasure to watch some of these events. My friend Michael would record Raw and later Smackdown and let us borrow the tapes so we could get our fix. In January 2000, Channel 4 had gotten a deal to show a few WWF Pay-per-views for free starting with the Royal Rumble. I stayed at Daniel’s house and we watched it live on a small TV. We were extra excited that Taz showed up on the event to face Kurt Angle with an extra ‘Z’ in his name, especially after find ECW a few months previous. Add to that the shock factor of Mae Young’s striptease, the Rumble result, the street fight between Cactus Jack and Triple H, the tables match between the Dudleys and Hardys, it was a phenomenal show.

With the events now being on Channel 4, I would look eagerly on internet forums during school hours trying to find out which ones were next. I remember staying up and watching Backlash 2000 and Fully Loaded of that year, also recording them to go back and watch and study the matches. I would cover the back of the VHS case with white stickers and write the match card on the back in order, so I knew where to find my favourites. They also stared showing Sunday Night Heat as well, which I later years would also have an RVD vs Jerry Lynn match up but not at the same quality as the ECW Event the years previous. These events on Channel 4 ended with the Invasion PPV in 2001 after WWE bought WCW and ECW acquiring many, but not all of their top stars.

Tying this in with Video games like WWF Attitude, Smackdown, WCW/NWO Revenge, WCW Mayhem it helped nurture my love for it even more especially WWE Smackdown 2: Know Your Role because you can create your own shows, wrestlers and storylines. We would have nights playing the game having Royal Rumbles and tournaments, finding how to create wrestlers from online forums like CAWs.ws.

My friend Daniel got the internet at home and we would spend hours searching Kazaa for wrestling videos we couldn’t find on VHS, in-between searching for Create-a-Wrestler guides for Smackdown games. They would usually be the Music Video highlight reels of matches we would want to see. Being early 2000’s it was usually set to Creed, Godsmack or Limp Bizkit but it would be things like Sabu vs RVD in a stretcher match, seeing Goldberg jackhammer The Giant/Big Show, and whatever we could find of these old matches you would read about in Power Slam magazine like the Exploding Barb Wire matches involving Mick Foley, Terry Funk and Onita.

A few years later, with the introduction of freeview satellite there was now more channels in homes than before and one of those was The Wrestling Channel. I turned it to this station thinking it would be WWE but was amazed to see companies more similar to ECW. US Promotions Ring of Honor, Combat Zone Wrestling, TNA/NWA and a few smaller based promotions were present as well as a mix of local British talent. It was on this channel that I first saw a match that involved light tubes, obviously CZW. Although not my favourite style, death matches certainly have a car crash factor to them. You know something gruesome is going to happen, but you can’t look away. But on the opposite of that, with ROH you got to see unbelievable work rate wrestling with the likes of CM Punk, Samoa Joe, Bryan Danielson and Low Ki and with TNA similar talents but with more professional looking, AJ Styles, Teddy Hart and Jeff Jarrett being stars that shone there.

Getting to see high flying stars like Amazing Red, Jack Evans, Teddy Hart, AJ Styles was enthralling. It was a side of pro wrestling you never saw on the more methodical WWE and I would watch whenever possible but still getting my WWE fix via VHS recordings Michael would lend us, especially as some of our favourites from ECW and WCW were now competing there.

From around 2006, I began to wane off watching Wrestling as often. I was playing in a band and focusing on that was well as starting a relationship with my now wife. My band mates Lloyd and Ryan were into Wrestling, so I used to and still do talk to them about it now and then. We used to go to local wrestling shows in Merthyr Tydfil for Celtic Wrestling. Back then, they were just Joe Nobodies wrestling in a bar, but as I look back over many of the people on that show, they have foundations on Wrestling all over the world.

A list of some of the names I got to see in Merthyr Tydfil; Sheamus – Now WWE, Steve Corino – ECW Legend, Zack Sabre Jr – Current New Japan star, Tracy Smothers – Wrestling Journeyman passed away in 2020. I remember seeing Tracy Smothers and I was a fan from ECW when he was with FBI and he was great and a nice guy after the show too. The fact that someone who was wrestled for WWE, ECW and WCW was in Merthyr wrestling, to me was mind-blowing!

A few months later I found out they were doing Wrestling training at The Studio Bar in Merthyr in around 2008 (could be way off), so I went along. I didn’t tell anyone, I got dressed in football gear and told my girlfriend Sara I was off to play football. Instead, I went into this bar and rolled around on some mats for beginner lessons on a Wednesday learning basic holds and how to bump. I really enjoyed it and it was better than bumping on the grass like I used to do as a kid in my local park. I went twice in all, as much as I wanted to go back and keep going, I was thinking that playing music would be easier to justify to someone than saying you were a wrestler so that was that.

I always kept an eye on wrestling but not as intently as I did before, maybe it was my way of disconnecting from wanting to do it as much as I did. I would watch the odd Raw or Smackdown and just buy the Big 4 Pay-per-Views and this went on for close on 8 years, just dipping in and out casually but still knowing who was in the business and doing things else were. We still had TNA in the UK so getting to see that was great, especially with the talent they had there for a while.

It wasn’t until 2016 I started to get back into wrestling as much as I do now. AJ Styles had finally joined WWE after seeming he would never appear there and that interested me because AJ is probably one of my favourites of all time. Twitter was blowing up because of a match between Will Ospreay and Ricochet in the Best of Super Juniors during that year. Seeing mostly positive comments and the odd one or two negative comments from old school wrestlers. So, I clicked on a then Youtube video of the match and it was such a great match. I felt the buzz straight away and immediately started to get the itch back for watching wrestling again.

I had no experience of much Japanese wrestling, but I always enjoyed reading in magazines about people like Jyushin Thuder Liger and The Great Muta and seeing their matches on WCW years ago, as well as people like Taka Michinoku and Tajiri but the Ospreay-Ricochet match convinced me to sign up to NJPW World. That summer I followed the G1 closely. Bullet Club madness was in full effect, seeing the iconic t-shirts and the way they were in the ring were similar to NWO, almost too much to a fault. I didn’t really know any of the performers in the tournament but after watching matches, would go back through the New Japan archives and watch the matches of Okada, Tanahashi, Naito, Shibata and the others, getting to know their styles and gimmicks.

One that immediately jumped out to me was Kenny Omega. He was one of 4 non-Japanese wrestlers (Gaijin) in the whole tournament. I learned that he had turned on AJ Styles and took over as leader of Bullet Club. I went back and watched AJ’s final matches against Nakamura at Wrestle Kingdom 10, and then the tag match the following night between AJ and Kenny vs Nakamura and Yoshi-Hashi. I followed Kenny closely over the G1 and into the finals against Hirooki Goto which was an absolutely brilliant match. Omega ended up winning, going onto Wrestle Kingdom 11 to face Okada for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship. I checked my work diary to see if I had work that day, and I was off! Due to the time differences, I was able to catch some of the pre-show in the morning, drop my oldest daughter off to school and come back in time for the Naito-Tanahashi and Omega-Okada matches.

I got back and watched the Naito-Tanahashi match, a really fantastic match to which I remember saying to myself ‘the main event is going to need to be special to top that’. Cue watching my personal favourite match of all time. The pacing and the psychology of the match were so well done, Omega targeting Okada’s back ready for the One-Winged Angel but never getting to hit it through the match. The springboard moonsault to the outside over the guard rails, the Tope Con Hilo over the top which still holds one of the iconic images of the match as a whole, Okada’s resilience as a champion, back dropping Omega over the top rope to the outside through a table. It was and is incredible, debatably one of the greatest matches of all time. Not just in my opinion but for many others as well. And so, I was back in. From that point onwards, I was an ardent fan once again. I would use the archives of WWE Network, NJPW World, Youtube, Highspots Wrestling Network to feed my addiction, following twitter pages which is just GIF after GIF of just the craziest moves.

I would try and watch as many of the live shows in Japan as possible to watch Omega perform and throughout 2017, even though it probably could have been savoured a bit more, we got to see 2 more amazing Omega-Okada matches at both Dominion and G1 and also a lead to Omega-Jericho for WK12. Both my current favourite and my all-time favourite meeting for the first time for a great match. From a Kenny standard it was not as good as some of his previous but for Jericho it was probably one of his best even compared against some of his classics against the likes of Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit.

In the Summer of 2018, I watched the Dominion show where again Kenny Omega went up against Kazuchika Okada for the IWGP Heavyweight championship. It was a 2 out of 3 falls match with no time limit. I couldn’t get the time off work for the event so I managed to smuggle my phone into work and would watch intently while selling mobile phones. It was another amazing match up, but I had to watch it over again after finishing work so that I could experience with sound, but even on silent, you could feel how brilliant the match was and Kenny finally defeated Okada for the title. Even though Kenny won it, I much preferred him fighting from beneath, almost as if achieving the pinnacle of wrestling was never going to happen. Even though he had a good handful of matches as champion, the ensuing AEW venture obviously scrapped any possibility of a long-term reign. Also disappointing to see New Japan miss a trick by letting Ibushi win the G1 and then the title from Kenny at WK13, instead vying for Tanahashi who, for as great a performer as he is, was not in his prime and the story between Ibushi-Omega would have been concluded or at least cliffhung until a later date. That aside, the show killed. It was amazing, but you could see the writing was on the wall in terms of Omega, the Young Bucks, Adam Page leaving to start AEW in 2019.

That kind of takes it up to current day, or at least as close to it as possible. It was possibly a long-winded diatribe of saying ‘Yeah, I like Wrestling’ but I hope it helps people to understand what drives me to write about it, why I enjoy watching this often joked about form of entertainment and why I think people could probably appreciate it more.

My messages are open if anyone wants to ask me any questions about wrestling or share stories about your own experiences, favourite matches or even stories that you would like me to cover, and I will try and find something to contribute to the page if possible.

Please read through the posts, like and share if you enjoy and leave comments if you wish to appreciate, critique or contribute towards the stories if you know anything I may have missed out.

Thanks!

[fycarmensandiego]

1995 Animation Magazine article

After months of trying to find a library to supply this over interlibrary loan, I’ve finally managed to get a copy of the cover story from February 1995′s Animation Magazine, about Where on Earth. Aside from the truly cringetastic headline on the cover, the article itself is poorly written and just as poorly researched (for example, saying that Carmine appears on the cartoon), but it does have snippets from interviews with several execs at both Brøderbund and Dic.

A scanned copy of the article (featuring some concept art of Carmen, Ivy, Zack, and a nameless goon in regrettably low quality) is available in my online archive, or read the text (with some spelling and punctuation corrections) below the cut.

Lady in Red by Morrie Gelman, special to Animation Magazine

The commercial television version of Carmen Sandiego, the lady in the stylish red hat and shoes who steals national treasures such as all of the sushi in Japan is, surprisingly, the most successful program ever produced by DIC Entertainment. Maybe not so surprising, since with more than 4 million units sold since 1985, Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?, currently out in a junior version on CD-ROM, is computer software’s best-selling history and geography title ever.

Carmen is the first software character ever to make the leap to television. In addition to the DIC-produced Where on Earth Is Carmen Sandiego? educational/entertainment series for Fox, Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?, a game show, is in its fourth season on PBS.

It was four years from the time Andy Heyward, president and C.E.O. of DIC, spotted Carmen as a computer game designed by Brøderbund Software to provide young people with exposure to world geography and cultures before it ever got on commercial television.

Heyward read a story about Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? in the business section of the Los Angeles Times. He went to the Northern California community of Novato, where Brøderbund Software is based, and met with company officials. He said at the time, “I would like to option the property,” and then took it over to CBS.

DIC had the property in development at CBS for three consecutive years. It was still in the running when Heyward had lunch with Margaret Loesch, president of Fox Children’s Network at the Big Boy restaurant in Burbank.

“CBS developed it and at the final bell decided that educational programming was too risky,” Heyward recalls.

At a NATPE in the early ’90s, Barbara Kriesman, the FCC attorney in charge of the Video Services Division, was the main speaker at a children’s seminar. The seminar was focused on compliance with the recently enacted Children’s Television Act requiring broadcasters to air programming that meets the educational and informational needs of children. Stations were told, in effect, they would lose their licenses if they did not comply.

It was clear that Fox had to protect itself. Margaret Loesch is a very competitive person. She was ready to take a chance.

Heyward told her of DIC’s developing Carmen Sandiego with CBS. She asked if it was picked up yet and he said, “No, it wasn’t.”

Loesch said Fox would pick up the series if it could have an exclusive.

According to Heyward, Loesch made “a big pitch” on why Fox would be a more competitive environment for Carmen Sandiego. Heyward listened and agreed, finally saying, “OK, let’s go.” The show made its debut on Fox’s Saturday morning line-up from 11:30 to noon last February as Where on Earth Is Carmen Sandiego?

By Heyward’s evaluation, Carmen has been more successful than any “educational” show, ever, especially because “kids don’t think of it as an educational show.”

That it be highly entertaining was DIC’s hope and aspiration from the start.

“We work very hard to get a lot of stuff in there that kids learn from,” Heyward says. “The production has not only cel animation but computer graphics, source footage and live action.”

Heyward confirms that “Carmen Sandiego is far and away the most successful program we’ve ever produced.”

For Robby London, senior vice president, creative affairs at DIC, Carmen Sandiego is the company’s “flagship” program and one of his “favorite, favorite topics to talk about.”

While London admits that everybody always says that some show or another is “unique,” that label is totally valid for Carmen.

Some of the things that make Carmen unique are the many disparate production elements not often seen on Saturday morning television.

Carmen includes regular cel animation to carry the narrative forward. Silicon Graphics Inc.’s computer animation takes characters from place to place throughout the world, allowing viewers to learn about the places. Within the SGI platform, still photos are used, such as source footage of Franklin Delano Roosevelt making a speech, along all sorts of other visuals, including graphs.

Another component is “limited animation,” which is quick, little, perhaps 5-second, images of a rather silly animation that is in a completely different style from the regular cel animation. Live action appears throughout the episodes in terms of the players playing at home on the computer against Carmen Sandiego. This is the whole basis by which DIC tells the story.

Michael Maliani was executive producer and producer of Where on Earth Is Carmen Sandiego? the first season of the show. With DIC currently working on the third season, Joe Barruso, who previously directed the show, is now producer.

Maliani, who was in at the earliest stages of development, remembers that “What we were trying to do was make something entertaining and educational. We wanted to be different. We really wanted to make it interesting to watch. That’s why we wanted to have so many elements.”

Kids like variety, Maliani contends. With that in mind, DIC decided to produce Carmen with different media, including standard cel animation, other computer graphics and some live-action added in. “We thought we could show the educational stuff without being boring,” Maliani explains. “We didn’t want to make the show a lecture. We wanted to weave the education into the plot.”

Like the computer game, the DIC series is full of visual and spoken clues about the mysteries Carmen Sandiego, her cunning cat Carmine and her gang of goofball thieves stealing such ambitious treasures as the roof off the Taj Mahal and statues from Easter Island. Viewers (players in the computer game) get help in trying to stop Carmen and her henchmen form the ACME Detective Agency. The DIC series (and now Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? Junior Detective Edition on CD-ROM as well) features the young characters Zack and Ivy who report to The Chief. The plot of each episode (and the objective of the computer game) is to follow geography-based clues and “bag the bad guys, recover the stolen loot and put Carmen Sandiego and Carmine in the clink.”

Along the way, viewers learn such facts as the height and location of Mt. Everest, and that the Sphinx in Egypt has the body of a lion with the head and breast of a man.

“We knew we were going to fit right in the 6 to 11 age demographic,” explains Maliani, “but we wanted to make Carmen a little more sophisticated so we could get the older kids.”

A major difference between Carmen the computer game and the commercial TV series is in visualizing the capers. The computer game offers as a premise that the Eiffel Tower or the Taj Mahal is stolen. DIC’s production team had to estimate the weight of the Taj Mahal and then figure out what it would take to lift it.

DIC’s researchers established that four Russian helicopters could hoist the estimated weight of the Taj Mahal roof.

The next problem was how to accomplish the feat. DIC’s solution? Use a laser to cut off the roof. Add hooks to it and lift it off.

“We had to figure this stuff out,” Maliani notes. “It’s kind of fake but almost real.”

London explains that many shows on Saturday morning have had a degree of pro-social values. One of the things that is different about Carmen from all these other shows, according to London, is that Fox and DIC took the “conservative high road” that pro-social is not sufficient to fulfill the mandate of the Children’s Television Act.

“Carmen can’t just show good moral values and teach little lessons in living,” he points out. “It must have a measurable curriculum that actually teaches information, not just lessons in living.”

Among the consultants on Carmen is Dr. Peter Kovaric, a professor at UCLA in the Graduate School of Education, who is also director of the school’s educational technology unit. Kovaric is an acknowledged expert on using technology, such as television, to teach kids.

He reviews all Carmen scripts and helps DIC’s production team conceptualize shows. “It’s an exemplary relationship,” affirms Kovaric.

“One of the very good things about Carmen is that it is a commercial venture and is reasonably successful. That may help lower the reluctance of broadcasters to try something new and different,” he observes.

DIC also employs Barbara Wong, a teacher and principal of Baldwin Middle School in the Alhambra (Calif.) school district. Wong credits the DIC production team with being “very concerned” about having quality programming for kids. “They’re very in tune with people like myself and very open.”

Carmen, she points out, “has a lot of elements in it that readily apply to a teaching situation.”

Wong explains that while Carmen is not a “surrogate teacher,” the show does quality as “a nice addendum – a nice resource to have.”

Wong gets screen credit as Curriculum Consultant. Kovaric is Educational Consultant.

According to London, Carmen, in addition to gaining an educational seal of approval, invariably wins its time period. In the Sept. 1993 to July 1994 Nielsen data, Fox’s Saturday morning line-up, which includes Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, X-Men, Bobby’s World, Tiny Toons, Taz-Mania, Eek the Cat and Carmen demonstrates the last is one of the top shows not only with kids 2 to 11 but with persons 6 to 17.

It averaged a 6.0 rating with kids 2 to 11 and 5.1 with the older demo, suggesting that as an educational program it’s holding its own handily against traditional animated entertainment, including action/adventure.

Another measure of Carmen’s appeal is that in the same Nielsen measured time-span, “the lady in the red hat” has more viewers than Beekman’s World and Bill Nye combined – not only with kids 2 to 11 but with persons 2 and over.

“It’s by no means a loss leader,” emphasizes London. “It’s not even number one by default. It really holds up Fox’s ratings.”

Maliani, who is senior vice president in charge of development, knows he risks sounding hokey but points out that in his 10 years with DIC he has wanted to try “to make a difference.” In Carmen Sandiego, he says, “we have a property where you could actually learn.”

In large measure, Maliani speaks for everyone connected with the Carmen Sandiego property when he comments: “This is the one show that really meant a lot to me and I gave it my all. I gave it everything I had and everything I could think of creatively. I wanted it to be special.”

————————————

Carmen Sandiego began life as a computer game – a history, geography, educational title – by way of Brøderbund Software Inc., Novato, Calif., a diversified consumer software company. Founded by Douglas Carlston, Brøderbund is one of the hottest names in educational software publishing.

For the recent holiday season Brøderbund published Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? Junior Detective Edition, an icon- and dialog-based CD-ROM product designated for 5- to 8-year-olds.

But Carmen Sandiego isn’t just a game. The software series inspired two TV shows for kids: DIC Entertainment’s animated adventure Where on Earth Is Carmen Sandiego? On the Fox Kids Network, and the PBS game show, Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? produced by WGBH Boston and WQED Pittsburgh.

Brøderbund constantly works at new ways to update the original product. Software titles include Where in the USA Is Carmen Sandiego?, Where in Space Is Carmen Sandiego?, Where in Time Is Carmen Sandiego? and Where in America’s Past Is Carmen Sandiego? in addition to the signature Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?

Brøderbund has creative input on every Where on Earth Is Carmen Sandiego? script, but not necessarily every storyboard.

Ken Goldstein, publisher of Brøderbund’s Education and Entertainment Products Group, describes his company relationship with DIC Entertainment as “very healthy.”

He was deeply involved in the first season of the DIC/Fox series, establishing the working relationship and the new ground rules. Since then he’s passed on regular contact to his staff, yet still signs off on every set of script notes (drafts of every script are read by Brøderbund staff and every storyboard reviewed).

For the most part, the DIC series scripts are different from those used by Brøderbund, but there’s some synergy. Brøderbund has introduced a new character into its most recent software, Stretch the Crime Dog, described as “a lovable, clue-sniffing, crime-busting canine” who works for the ACME Detective Agency.

Reciprocally, the software is now using agents Zack and Ivy and The Chief from the DIC animated TV series.

“Carmen is a perennial for us,” notes Goldstein. “It really is an evergreen product, a premier intellectual property. I’m delighted to manage its existence.” According to Goldstein, Carmen Jr. will probably go Gold in the software business, which is 100,000 pieces, within a couple of months.

Brøderbund, Goldstein also reports, does a lot of licensing, including T-shirts, mouse pads and backpacks, among other items. Carmen is also very much an international product. Goldstein says Carmen software is “very big” in Spain and Mexico, and also especially popular in Israel.

There’s a Japanese version of Carmen, plus a cartridge version on Nintendo and Sega, which has not done as well as Brøderbund would like. “I don’t think it’s the right venue for that product,” Goldstein remarks.

Brøderbund is stepping up to a new level of international distribution on March 1, opening its own Brøderbund Europe office and publishing localized versions of new Carmen products from that time forward.

By Brøderbund’s design and demand, there are no guns or other weapons in the Carmen Sandiego TV show or software. The Carmen character does have henchmen, but, points out Goldstein, “it’s very much ‘Three Stooges.’ They botch things and they use such things as big suction cups, funny gadgets and outlandish vehicles, but there are never any guns, no bombs, no grenades, no violence. They never threaten the detectives. It’s all a game of wits.”

Brøderbund also has been very careful not to portray stereotypes, to make sure with the software that all different types of international cultures are reflected positively. DIC is equally sensitive about portraying stereotypes and respecting different cultures.

“Computers have revolutionized the teaching world, and now classrooms will never be the same,” suggests one reviewer of Carmen software.

“Programs like Carmen let students explore their own paths of learning,” points out another.

Morrie Gelman is the president of Ventures in Media, a market research, information packaging and television development firm.

[tosikoarts]

SFW Alphabet | Mail Jeevas

Let me know if you want alphabet for Near as well. You can check tosikowrites tag for more! Warning: there’s a lot under the cut.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

For Matt, being affectionate is as natural as breathing. You can’t call him over-the-top, his love is immature like he just got first teenage crush, and therefore it is difficult to predict his thoughts. In the beginning, awkwardness can slip through accidental hands touch or misplaced kisses. He giggles a lot to cover insecurities and it kinda works.

At the same time he tends to hesitate when things are about to get intimate. New experiences overwhelm him. If relationship seems to develop too quickly, Matt will subtly slow them down without making a fuss.

Won’t ever let his loved one go to bed in tears. It cuts him deeply as a friend and a partner to see his favorite person suffering. Of course, Matt lacks a bachelor degree in psychology, but he knows how to use active listening skills: he actually gives them space to speak their mind, makes pauses when necessary, and asks questions to hear the answers and not to simply imitate a concern.

One of the ways to show affection is to introduce loved one to his friends. We are talking not about a casual “this is name1, this is name2” but a special bond establishing, where everybody is treated with the same respect, trust, each person plays a specific role. Matt basically builds small “family” of closest people, ride-or-die gang from photos on which you see comments like “I wish I had friends like that”.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Matt is the type of friend you never knew you needed in your life. It is easy to overlook his quiet persona so you the only way you can meet him is through mutual friends during DnD session, night out in the arcade, etc.

He speaks the language of memes and irony and ironic memes, which he will send the second he sees something you would be interested in. Sharing is caring, so Matt will introduce you to anything he finds even a little bit entertaining. Friendship with this guy involves a lot of inside jokes that are completely incomprehensible to unenlightened people around.

Chill aura follows Matt everywhere he goes and you will experience its miraculous effects as well. Problems do not exist in his plan of reality, any extreme negative emotions do not either. It may be strange at first but later you crave his presence and stability that comes with it. In short, wholesome person in a grungy shell.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

The miserable situation in which person is truly snuggble (is it even a word?) but has to be in specific mood for it. Matt turns into panda, wrapping his limbs around the partner’s body, today but keeps it modest with only his head lying on their lap next day. He has a bad habit of nestling to the loved one after smoking weed so a sickly sweet smell imprints on their clothes, hair, and whatever he touches.

Without ongoing conversation, Matt starts dozing in a few minutes. His embrace turns into a bear trap, and poor soul, who was (un)lucky enough to get caught, has low chances to escape.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

I mean, mentally he is already settled down with his console and Mello? Yes, that sound like him, there’s a good chance Matt would want to have nice comfy life with the loved one. He can’t cook for shit and is an incorrigible slob but, boi, he will try to make their home the coziest nest out here. He will try really hard to be better cook and keep house clean when domesticity hits him.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Matt is a mess. His heart drops when a thought of break-up arises in the mind. He even starts to think that ghosting isn’t that cruel and there’s nothing craven in breaking-up through message. This would deprive him from the sight of them crying at least. After much hesitation, Matt will meet with them close to their house to explain what was on his mind lately. Despite how it goes, he’s filled with unpleasant feeling of betrayal.

A week later Matt will try to get in touch just to see how they’re doing. Are they okay? Are they mad at him? Do they want to talk? What if they want to stay friends? Because Matt wants to stay friends, he planned to stay close to them after breaking-up. Even if some things do not work out, Matt still wants to support them and share all the best in their life.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Seems to look for someone like a best friend to marry and won’t plan anything before he’s fully convinced in a person’s fit. It takes, maybe, two or three years for him to start thinking about proposing, though Matt doesn’t make a big of a deal of this event. His approach is very unpretentious: no restaurant date with small red box, no witnesses with cameras and whatsoever, Matt fondly asks a question while cuddling or eating ice cream out of bucket in silly pajamas. A smile never leaves his lips after they say “yes”. He probably cries on the wedding day too.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Matt is pretty inconsistent when it comes to gentleness. His laid-back nature doesn’t negate his soft side but doesn’t add up to it either, giving his behavior a touch of indifference. His comprehension of physical aspect is better than emotional because it doesn’t have such blurry undertones and can be controlled more precisely. Therefore Matt needs a bit of time to find the correct love language for a new partner and give them clear answer which one works the best for him.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Surprisingly, not so fond of hugs? He won’t ever reject them but it seems like he tries to keep small distance at the same time. You may have experienced it, defective hug when a person does not hug you in full force but also doesn’t let go. In this case, you don’t really understand the reason since person hugged you, right, they must like you to do it but ehhh. Matt takes initiative half of the times, but remember about the quality of dollar store kush.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He says “I love you” every so often. For Matt It’s a phase used not only in romantic way but also as an expression of appreciation for your friends and family. In the beginning Matt will also say “I love you” (like he does to Mello) to make person acknowledge how much they mean to him but later its meaning shifts to more serious one and is accompanied with long tirade about his feelings. So yeah, as fast as they become good friends which may take month or two.  

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

On a scale of jealousy Matt scores lower than average and it takes a lot of time for him to realize someone is seriously hitting on his loved one even if another person acts pretty straightforward. After realizing what’s going on Matt will act needy. He won’t stop following his loved one and holding their hand, placing small pecks on their cheeks and giving his rival dirty look.

If he witnesses his lover acting too flirty, he won’t say a word. Only after they are alone, Matt reluctantly will try to set record straight. Relationship takes two to work, and he won’t force them to stay just for the sake of staying.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

You’ll never get bored with this goofy kisser: he is sloppy, but also gentle and sweet. Well, not that sweet since you can taste the tobacco bitterness on the tip of his tongue 99% of the time. Sometimes, Matt gets so carried away that he will kiss his loved one right in the middle of the sentence. Prefers classical lips kisses and kisses on the forehead for both kissing and being kissed.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Man, Matt can connect to little ones on the spiritual level. He talks to them like they are his equal in every way possible and from the outside it looks adorable. Teenagers need space? Good, here you go! Kids want a piggyback ride? Jump on it, he got you! Baby-toddler screams the lugs out? Mail prepared ear plugs, pacifier, and a collection of toys! Even when they are causing troubles, this guy remains very understanding.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Night work puts both Matt’s laptop and himself into sleeping mode at 5-6 in the morning. If you are the early bird, you have high chance to find him at the dawn, with his heavy head resting on his hands. The best option is to wake him up gently and send him to the bed before those muscles get stone-stiff.

On rare occasions he goes to bed right after you just to have a major sleep-in. Nothing can disturb his sleep, not a blasting cannons, nor a nightmare, since his mind goes off and shuts down like a corrupted program.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Let’s not talk about work days, we already know how it goes. On his free time Matt likes to stay at home and have a quiet evening with his loved one or by himself. After pizza is ordered, he jumps on the couch and lies down for a bit. If his loved one is here as well Matt asks what they want to do. His suggestion would be build a pillow fort and wait inside, chatting about stupid things. Trite, but playing video games is second option on the list. They can play together or take turns, Matt is down for anything and will definitely let them beat him in Mario kart.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Reveals facts about himself slowly, but tends to have deep conversations about things like fears, dreams, emotional experiences, even traumas. Seeing the sincere intentions of a person, he will reciprocate the effort to get to know them better. Also, when Matt is in playful mood he will play that “well, try to guess it” or “well, that’s true… or is it?” card making conversation even easier. He may have few topics like life in orphanage he is not comfortable with so he will politely refuse to talk about them or cover them with jokes.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Tibetan monks called, asked if they can book a private lesson in tranquility for their unexperienced young apprentices. This man is the embodiment of appeasement, he is good-naturedly calm and his peaceful mood easily transfers to this around him. He perceives the anger of others and unpleasant incidents as short-term events that do not deserve much of attention. When someone is mad at him he just smiles lightly, explains himself and, oh god, actually tries to get another person’s point of view.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

While his mind is always occupied with unnecessary stuff, Matt manages to remember about half of what you told him. Most of his knowledge comes from endless online chats, jokes, and memes, common interests, and (who thought!) numbers. He is especially good at remembering anniversaries and it flatters his vanity a lot.

To maintain a never-forgetting-boyfriend reputation Matt keeps in touch with your mutual friends and acquaintances. When he needs to clarify something he’ll reach to the most suitable candidate who will answer the questions but also won’t ruin surprise with their long tongue.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The night he broke down and cried. Just sent his ps-controller flying across the room and covered his eyes, and tears started to roll down his cheeks. Soothing words of the loved one made him shake even more vigorous because the connection between them never felt so strong. Matt didn’t have to hide anything from them. There was no need to keep on a happy face 24/7. He squeezed them in his arms like there was no tomorrow and never ever forgot this moment.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Despite the wild life that was supposed to teach Matt to adequately assess the danger of outside world, he remains as laid-back as always. He assures loved one that no matter what happens he will be all right. And they will be all right too. He believes they both can just slip away from any unpleasant situation and there is no reason to be overprotective. Yes, for someone associated with Mafia, Matt feels way too frivolous.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

The exact opposite of Mello. The more time passes, the more confident he grows in his feelings and it shows in the way he expresses it. When it comes to presents Matt chooses hand-made mess over expensive shiny but lifeless gifts. His fingers are glued together and sequins on the nose emphasize bags under the eyes but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters, actually, because Matt finally wrote their name in cursive just the way he wanted to. For the anniversary there is huge box waiting for them, filled with candies, candles, discs, photos, short notes, and every little bauble he could think of. No doubt he stands right beside the person with puppy eyes, evaluating their reaction.

Dates aren’t big of a deal. He leaves date plans up to them since he doesn’t care what to do while it is with them. If they specifically ask for Matt’s ideas he will think about it for 5-10 minutes and then suggest first thing Google search gives him. Pray to God it’s not a DIY in 5 minutes because he will try it too.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Matt has a strong tendency to justify people when they obviously do not deserve it. Maybe this is not entirely conscious, but he ignores red flags until everything falls apart. He doesn’t see a pattern here and how all these people are alike so cycle repeats again and again.

Sometimes you have to worry. Sometimes circumstances oblige you to stop brushing off your problems. That’s not a case with Matt tho. To solve problems with a sober head, cool mind, yes, this is amazing, but the keyword is to s o l v e which he may completely ignore. Being laid-back dude is a talent but it shouldn’t be taken to the point of “if I close my eyes, maybe, it will go away”.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Well, let’s say his style leaves much to be desired. I can see his closet being full of the same type of clothes in approximately similar faded colors. No patterns, no game of textures, it’s just plain. Those goggles with amber-tinted lenses are one of two pairs Matt owns. The other one is similar to famous Kurt Cobain glasses and he keeps them for ironic purpose.

Matt never used any creams even when his skin resembled tree bark. Tobacco smoke can cause dryness of lips so you can expect his being chopped and covered in small cracks.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

You cannot tell it from his face but deep down he is devastated. People notice his silent thoughtfulness, lingering daydreaming. Hours spent in games grow an alarming rate as well as his expenses on cigarettes. A lot of time has to pass by before he goes back to his old self.

If they left for any reason Matt accepts it and tries to remain their friend. He knows there should be a pause in their relationship to establish new boundaries and stop perceive each other as… lovers. But he can’t stay away.

If they died both related and unrelated to Kira case, Matt seems to disengage from everything except helping Mello and videogames. His brain freezes in white noise and repetitive actions keeping him going like a programmed robot. Months later, he promises to get well because this is exactly what they would want for him.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Matt likes to smoke devil lettuce once in a while to clear his head or fog it completely. However, he doesn’t like to drink at all. His organism reacts poorly to alcohol and nausea rises to the throat before he can feel any kaif. Once Matt made a huge mistake (read – decided to get drunk with Mello): it ended up with Mello roaming around the city aimlessly for two days while Matt was almost chained to the bathroom because… well, he didn’t feel very well. In the end of the day they suffered a small loss: Mello lost his golden chain he never really liked and Matt lost the urge to drink forever.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

There is excess of negativity in this world already so if the only thing person is going to do is to complain, he will slowly push them out of his life. Cancelling plans, ignoring massages, hanging up early in the calls and, finally, he will disappear from their life like he was never there.

Boring people. It doesn’t mean person has to be into craziest stuff, you can be interested at knitting and present your hobby as the most interesting thing in the whole universe. Problem arises when person fails to show their passion.

Arrogance makes Matt yawn. It usually comes with qualities such as duplicity, hypocrisy, and he is not buying it. He is simple guy and feels uncomfortable around those who put on a brass face.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

His sleeping hours vary from 45 minutes to 14 hours per day and you never know what tomorrow will bring. It depends on many factors, but mostly on whether he has any work next day and if there are any upcoming games that he was waiting for so patiently.

Matt knows how to sleep anywhere and anyhow, even in standing position with hands crossed. His ability to fall asleep in 0.5 second is something Mello is envious of. Also, he can sleep with loud TV on the background, dogs barking, and Mello yelling at someone at the same time. It’s honestly a superpower.

The mere fact that somebody is sleeping next to him (it doesn’t have to be a loved one) gives him a feeling of serenity. If they sleep under the same blanket, he without a doubt will steal it.

[themockingcrows]

Doki Doki Grist Panic! Ch. 2

John/Dave cw: canon typical violence ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27802735/chapters/68120641

     Being a magical boy was, in essence, a life long gig. If you did well and kept the peace and grew in power, you could be granted freedom from the fate that was chosen for you from the denizens with their aspects. Sometimes. Other times, you could make it all that way and still have your hand forced in unpredictable ways.

     The scent of blood ran through Dave’s nose, and with it the feeling of power rushing through his own. The enemy had been a big one, and he’d been very young, new to the mantle. He still didn’t know how to fight with his blade properly, too used to the one handed flailing that constituted practice with his brother on the rooftop. It had been too big, too much to handle alone, at least without unlocking a top tier ability that came with a terrible price. The words of Hephaestus rang through Dave’s ears, guiding his hands to drop the sword and instead focus on the time turners, the mystic assisting devices he bore.

     He scratched forwards, backwards, then spun them both at the same time without thinking, feeling the rush of time like a punch to the stomach. He’d nearly vomited, holding onto his bile through sheer spite alone, and landed in the past. Standing behind himself, he waited until the moment was right before rushing forwards, leaping over his own striking form, and landing on the monster’s face. He planted a hand on its warm flesh and sunk his gloved fingers in to secure his grip before turning the timetables again, forcing time to freeze entirely.

     The nausea came again, and Dave became acutely aware of his own heartbeat, the understanding of what was happening right then and there. Time was ticking down on his own clock, life but a borrowed timepiece itself, the high price to pay for messing with the flow of time.

     Fitting, really.

     Dave summoned his sword back to his hand and lifted his hands, striking what looked like a weak spot on the massive beast… and immediately was whipped off as time surged back into its normal flow, slamming back into a wall and sliding down to the ground limply.

     Bro was there.

     He wasn’t alone, Bro was there. He could hear his voice, but as if through a tunnel before his ears started ringing, and couldn’t lift his head up to reply properly. His sword was still embedded in the creature, but it wasn’t enough to take it down. Bro had his katana. Even if he wasn’t a magical boy any longer, even if he was at risk, he still had his weapon and a lot of power on his side. The monster soon fell in half, sliced as if by a clean saw blade, grist pouring out of it like a pinata up into the air to bounce and begin returning from whence it had come.

     That was a hero.

     One strike, and that was all it had taken. Bro went to his knee afterwards, clutching at his heart and breathing hard, feeling the pang of the echo of Yaldabaoth once more.

     That was really a hero. He’d fought even though that strike had cost him. Even though there was no way to reverse what he’d done, giving his power up to restore the peace in a cataclysmic event. Even though every exertion could be his last, heart weakened by the exchange. 

     He was a hero, and yet Dave was the magical one now, and he needed to figure out how the fuck to live up to that kind of exchange. Given the feeling earlier during the fight, the sensation of his life altering, Dave was able to glimpse likely how his own life would end someday. ...Would he make it to old age, still? Or would he go young? It would depend on how he fought, and on how things worked out, he supposed.

     Dave lost consciousness.

     When he woke up it was in a cold sweat in his own bed, tangled in his sheets, chest heavy and face pale. He sat bolt upright and rubbed his face with both hands before slowly creeping out of bed and making his way to his brother’s room, peeking in on him. Waiting. Watching for his broad chest to rise and fall. When it did, proving he was still alive, Dave finally felt like he could breathe.

     That dream again. When would he be able to stop having that dream? When he was able to surpass a monster of that level on his own and make it look so easy? Or when he’d spent so much time that every second counted? He’d been careless a few times, had left time frozen for too long at different times to be thorough instead of just slowing it, cementing the use of even more of his own time. How much did he have left? What about Bro, how much did he have left? Could Dave share some of his time with him?

     It didn’t work like that, and Dave knew it. But fuck did he wish it did.

     Quietly, he went to get a juice from the fridge before padding back to his room and his phone, popping onto discord to scroll the different servers he was in. People in different timezones had posted some prime quality memes and he wanted to stay on top of things, sharing and redistributing from place to place to help choice ones spread easier. He checked his SB&HJ server and was pleased to see that it was absolute chaos.

     Dave had changed screens and was starting to read an article someone had linked when his phone buzzed in his hand, alerting him to a new DM.

     John.

ectoBiologist:  hey, i know it’s early but i saw you logged on so i thought it’d be alright to send this.

ectoBiologist:  when i got my copy of sburb there was a key for an extra copy! would you like it?

ectoBiologist:  we could play while watching the lets play from space needle, see if we find any secrets before them!

     Dave grinned at his phone. Who was he to turn down a free videogame? Especially one he already wanted. 

turntechGodhead:  yeah man sign me up

turntechGodhead:  im sure we can break that thing ten ways from sunday once we pass the character creation screen

ectoBiologist:  oh dave, why dream so small? we can break it starting from the character screen.

turntechGodhead:  sounds like a challenge

turntechGodhead:  first one to find a game breaking glitch wins

     Dave chattered with John for a while before eventually falling back to sleep, grateful to find his dreams a little more cheerful. Fanciful even, to the point where even Dirk would no doubt tease him. Simple dreams of a kiss, going somewhere quiet, and exploring a bit further of each other...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

     A videogame was a small price to pay to get to talk to Dave more, John decided. The code was easy enough to get, and while it was a foolish waste of time, it was a foolish waste of time with someone that intrigued him. The internet signals from Earth had been available during his trip here, and while it was majority trite, a video about space and technology had caught his interest, cementing his focus on the lets play channel Space Needle. John set his communicator- No… His cellphone. He set the cellphone down and went to a mirror, staring himself down.

     Corruption ate at him, skin a dark gray and eyes far too bright, trails of dark wind caressing his white hair. John existed in a state of flow and movement, drifting from place to place comfortably. It took effort to remember to walk sometimes, but when under cover, he needed to be sure to keep both feet flat on the ground as much as he needed to keep his appearance ‘normal’. Here though, here in his makeshift home, he was free to float as he pleased, and did so to make his way from the mirror to the tanks where the beasts were grown.

     Ectobiology was something that took a hell of a lot of grist, as was normal biology. So much grist, so little time. He stroked the front of the tank of a chess piece and bit his lip, wondering if it would be ready to go yet, or if he’d need to rely on the imps much longer. There were always the ogres… but the chess pieces would be his best bet for gathering the grist he needed for his home world.

     The wind whipped his hair harder as he thought of home, remembering the deaths, the torrents of destruction, the wave after wave of defeats that had brought his world to its knees. He hadn’t been strong enough to fix everything by himself. But now… now there was a way. A way to bring it all back, maybe even stronger than before, and restore his planet to its rightful state.

     He just needed a planet worth of grist to restore his own to the way things were. And, conveniently, here was a planet chock fucking full of it, ripe for the taking. John just needed to reach out and take it.

     The boy in red was going to be a nuisance, though, he could already feel it. Someone with the power to not only stop swarms of imps, but to restore grist to its natural place? What a pain! What if there were more of them? This place was just his first stop, he needed seed grist as it were to start his little project. Chess monsters didn’t grow on their own without grist, and the natural grown grist was going slowly. He needed more. Heaps and heaps off it, not the pennies worth he’d been able to scrounge so far.

     John needed to think bigger.

     A chime from his cellphone made him blink and drift lazily back over, checking it. Ah. New upload from Space Needle. They’d already begun to play SBURB and the first episode was a walkthrough of them messing with the character creation screen from the thumbnail, to create the most amazingly terrible creation to inhabit the game from the get go.

     Admirable.

     He hoped Dave and he were able to do nearly as much as they were able to do, John was curious to see what Dave would come up with.

     ...Dave.

     Dave was another issue, John realized. 

     The life on Earth was just most grist for the taking, but this Dave fellow looked interesting. He had an attractive face and long, reedy limbs that he seemed to like hiding beneath baggy clothes, soft looking blonde hair. John wanted to keep looking at him rather than listen to the professor talk about whatever the fuck he assumed was important for Earthlings to learn, but it would have just blown his cover to stand out further.

     Someone that attractive, and into the same things he was, was picking at the scab of loneliness in John’s heart. The wound of solitude that he’d borne since his home world fell apart. Could he really destroy the Earth and all its inhabitants when he knew one of them was precious to him?

     Perhaps.

     Or, better yet, what if he could convince Dave to love him? If he loved him, he could convince him to come with him to his home, to his real world. A better world than this one. They could be together still, and things would go back to normal like they were before, and he could return to his house with all of his things and have someone like Dave on his arm.

     A pretty daydream, but a daydream nonetheless.

     Drifting once more, phone in hand, John sent a few more messages to Dave while he was offline before dropping the connection and heading towards his tech once again. Imps were worthless. Maybe if there was an ogre as backup…. Yes, that should do it. That should get some of the results he wanted.

     Soon enough, he would have this world on its knees. John just hoped he could get Dave into his hand before the point of no return.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

     A few weeks had passed since first meeting John properly, and Dave already couldn’t imagine hanging out with anyone else. They had so much in common, and every other minute Dave was able to spare was spent deep in conversation with him on discord. They’d begun playing SBURB together, and while they weren’t able to find all the glitches and game breaks that the girls over on Space Needle were able to find, they’d been able to find their own brand of shenanigans. Dave had secured John a special weapon from his own guardian that he was able to use in his game, and John was able to find ways to essentially reach from area to area like a glitch warp. 

     The girls had ripped into SBURB like none other, and it was exciting to watch their numbers to climb with new fans who were enjoying their work as much as Dave and John did. The fandom was growing, and even in Dave’s other servers people were starting to share the memes.

     The day that John asked if he wanted to go hang out had been, at first, an immediate ‘yes’ from Dave. ...Till he realized that this was less a hangout and more of a date. Instead of their shooting the shit at and near campus, they met up to watch a movie, instead of fast food they went to a restaurant and John said he’d foot the bill. Dave couldn’t relax properly. Was this okay? Was this really what he thought it was, or was this just a changeup of a hangout formula? If it was a date, was that okay too? Did Dave even have time for a boyfriend?

     The idea was appealing… And didn’t he have a right to some kind of happiness for himself? He had to keep his secrets, but surely he could balance it all?

     John slipped his warm fingers around Dave’s as they left the restaurant, and soon they were laced together, casual as could be, while Dave struggled to keep a calm face on. Hand. Holding hands. When was the last time he held hands with someone? His face felt like it was burning off, and all he could do to keep calm was keep his facial muscles under control in the form of small grins and darting glances behind his shades as they walked.

     They made it all the way back to Dave’s apartment like that before John released his hand and returned his own to his pockets. Dave curled his fingers a few times at his sides before stuffing his hands into his pockets as well, casual as could be.

     “Wanna do that again sometime? I had a lot of fun,” John said, grinning at him the same way he smiled at everything he liked a lot.

     “Yeah, I would. I had fun too.” Fun was an understatement.

     They stood awkwardly together then for a moment, watching the cars pass by on the road out front, Dave unsure if he should invite John up without warning Bro, and John unsure if he should do what he wanted to. In the end, John was the one who acted. He leaned and pressed a kiss to Dave’s cheek before pulling back and taking a few steps backwards.

     “I should get going, my dad would be upset if I’m gone too long,” he said.

     Still more or less in shock, ears ringing, Dave just nodded.

     "Right. Yeah, that’d. That’d be bad. Don’t want a mad dad.”

     “Yeah,” John chuckled. “See you later, Dave!” he said, adding a wave as he turned and headed off.

     Dave was left on his stoop waving for a good thirty seconds before his brain caught up with what had happened and he dropped his arm, wide eyed. Okay. This was a problem. A good problem? But a problem. He turned and raced his way upstairs to his apartment, rattling his keys before managing to unlock the door and get in, leaning against it once he slammed it shut. He stayed there a few seconds before slowly sliding down to the ground, still wide eyed.

     Bro, who was alert and watching everything now that Dave was inside, only lifted a brow.

     “Need me to beat his ass? What happened.”

     “No, no, just. It was great. Everything was great.”

     “Then what’s the problem, you look like you got hit by a truck.”

     “I just. ...fuck, man, is this aright?” he finally asked from the floor, looking towards the futon. “Is it okay to have this?”

     “Why you askin’ me?” Bro asked, brow raising. “That’s your damn business.”

     “Yeah but like. If you were in my position and a guy wanted to go out with you, would you?”

     “Bet your ass I would, those boots ain’t gonna knock themselves.”

     “Not what I meant,” Dave groaned, rubbing his face before looking down at his hands, wiggling the fingers of the one John had held for so long. It still felt warmer than the other somehow. “Like. ...Is it safe? What if I put him at risk? What if he finds out?”

     “Better not find out, and he’s only in as much risk as you put him in,” Bro shrugged. “I dunno man, it’s a sticky situation. There’s no right or wrong answers, only smart or increasingly stupid ones.”

     Dave made an uncertain noise from the ground before standing up and dusting his ass off, going to the fridge for more jui-

     “We’re out.”

     “Oh yeah, I drank the last one. Wanna come with me to the store and help heft shit?”

     “Yeah. No heftin’ for you,” Dave said pointedly. “You can drag the granny cart. Just take that stupid plush off of it.”

     “Excuse you, Sir Wilmington Squeaks is not goin’ anywhere but on a fine trip to the grocery store,” Bro said, already standing to get the folded up shopping cart with a smuppet strapped aboard the top. “He makes a great lid, keeps stuff from bouncin’ out when it goes up the stairs.”

     Though Dave made a face, he was charmed still. This was a normal day, more normal than he'd had for a while. One of, hopefully, many to come. If only peace from outside threats was more constant.

[daleisgreat]

Getting Rowdy: The Unreleased Matches of Roddy Piper

A few months ago I covered the DVD set WWE released chronicling the ‘unseen’ matches of “Macho Man” Randy Savage. Today I continue that trend covering those lines of DVD collections with 2019’s Getting Rowdy: The Unreleased Matches of Roddy Piper (trailer). Like with WWE’s other ‘unreleased’ line of home videos, all the matches and segments featured in here have never been released on video before. With WWE already releasing a comprehensive three-disc DVD set to Piper with 2006’s Born to Controversy, that means we are getting a collection full of deep cuts here. This two disc DVD is compiled similarly to the Randy Savage set where we get original, newly recorded interviews intersperse with the archival content. The interviews are from Piper mega-fan, “Rowdy” Ronda Rousey which are mixed in with archived home video interviews with Piper for added context. There are six sets of Rousey interviews, and they are sporadically inserted throughout the collection which also features 19 matches, nine promos and 12 editions of Piper’s legendary interview show, Piper’s Pit. WWE has established that Rousey is essentially the endorsed successor to carry on the Piper legacy, with Ronda paying homage to “The Hot Rod” by rocking her version of Piper’s entrance attire and carrying on his nickname. With that in mind, having Ronda being the featured new set of interviews to draw from seems like a fitting choice to commemorate Piper’s career here and are nice ways to mix up this collection.

Ronda’s interviews are insightful on how she drew on Roddy for inspiration on MMA needing an antagonist, and how excited she was to finally meet him. I presumed she maintained a close relationship with Piper, and was surprised to learn in Rousey’s interviews here that she only met him once early in her MMA career when she got the blessing from Roddy to use his nickname and then a second time when she appeared on Pipers podcast, which was just a month shy of his death in July of 2015. Rousey went on to say one of her biggest regrets is not having a close relationship with him. There is a nice variety of the nine Piper interviews/promos included. There is a handful of the vintage Rock ‘n Wrestling era promos where Piper bellows out promos in front of a blue screen backdrop. A nice nostalgic bonus is a few vintage commercials where Piper maniacally shouts at you to purchase the latest WWE action figures. There are a few standout go-home PPV interviews here where Piper is on fire and by the end of them he got me just as fired up as Virgil for his upcoming WrestleMania match against Ted Dibiase, and on top of that is an especially intense promo with Bret Hart leading up to their WrestleMania VIII battle. There are three Roddy promos from his late 90’s WCW days, with a bewildering rant from a cell in Alcatrez and Hulk Hogan provoking Piper to cut loose on him and Bishoff in front of his son, Colt, standing out the most. These WCW promos have boisterous crowds capturing the high times WCW was riding at that time in the ‘Monday Night Wars.’

It is no surprise that Piper’s rougher, brawling style will not warrant many five star classics, but a fair amount of his 19 matches here have crowds eating up the chaos Piper is delivering. I have only seen a handful of Piper’s early NWA work before, so seeing a few more of his NWA matches unearthed for this set was a treat, and his match against Jay Youngblood is a smashmouth brawl that goes to a time limit draw, and I loved seeing Piper tag with Ole Anderson against Mike Davis and Buddy Landell. There are a lot of the big arena house show matches here that were previously televised only in local markets, and like a lot of those matches in other sets, usually feature good action until a hokey finish. That is the case here with a killer clash against Paul Orndorff in 1985 fresh into their rivalry, with the crowd going bokers for them until a double countout finish. Just as riveting is Piper’s match in this set against Rick Rude where the crowd is losing it throughout, but a lot of tomfoolery I will not even begin to explain transpires and is the catalyst for one of the strangest DQ finishes I have seen.

Piper teaming with Eddie and Blue-tista, looking like gold! Piper feuding with the nWo had the crowd on its feet! There are two matches on here against Mr. Perfect worth going out of your way to see. I know Mr. Fuji was an accomplished wrestler in the 70s, but never seen him in a match until this set where he is pummeled for a couple minutes against Piper until his fellow managers run in for the save. A lot of the latter matches in the back half of Getting Rowdy are quick TV matches with wonky finishes unfortunately, but for what it is worth, still draw rabid crowd reactions. There are two Nitro bouts included against Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage in 1998, but both bouts have several nWo run-ins that result in both matches being thrown out. I forgot about Piper’s brief 2003 run with Sean ‘O Haire, so it was nice to see those two again when Piper had a short encounter with Rikishi. The last match is an awesome impromptu bout against The Miz for $5000 of The Miz’s money, with Alex Reilly (remember him!?) as guest referee in 2011. I have zero recollection of this match, and even at a couple minutes long it was an absolute delight!

Getting Rowdy was jacked with 24 installments of Piper’s Pit, but WWE had quite a few more to draw upon from the vault with 12 more here. Some of the early ones in this collection that were a riot were where both Jimmy Hart and the Brooklyn Brawler ruthlessly provoke Roddy to giving them a a well-earned beatdown. There are a bunch in the second half of this set when Piper would periodically show up on RAW and SmackDown for a special Piper’s Pit. Two that really got me were one with John Cena where Piper does a tremendous job at needling Cena into living up to his then-current t-shirt slogan, ‘Rise Above Hate’ and another where Roddy moderates AJ Lee attempting to get back into Daniel Bryan’s good graces after costing him his WrestleMania match against Sheamus. I enjoyed this collection more than I anticipated. As I mentioned earlier, Piper was not known for his epic wrestling abilities, so I was not letdown from the wide range of match quality from the 19 matches in the set. There are a few matches that are hidden gems in here for what it is worth, but the real reason everyone should check out Getting Rowdy: The Unreleased Matches of Roddy Piper, is for the many unreleased promos and Piper’s Pit interviews. While he may not have been a five star wrestler, Piper was easily a five star entertainer, and that is readily apparent from beginning to end in this collection.

Those Piper action figure commercials are iconic, and this set is full of iconic promos I have never seen before where the Hot Rod made Virgil look like a million bucks! Past Wrestling Blogs Best of WCW Clash of Champions Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 2 Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 3 Biggest Knuckleheads Bobby The Brain Heenan Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes Yes Yes DDP: Positively Living Dusty Rhodes WWE Network Specials ECW Unreleased: Vol 1 ECW Unreleased: Vol 2 ECW Unreleased: Vol 3 Eric Bishoff: Wrestlings Most Controversial Figure Fight Owens Fight: The Kevin Owens Story For All Mankind Goldberg: The Ultimate Collection Hulk Hogans Unreleased Collectors Series Impact Wresting Presents: Best of Hulk Hogan Its Good to Be the King: The Jerry Lawler Story The Kliq Rules Ladies and Gentlemen My Name is Paul Heyman Legends of Mid South Wrestling Macho Man: The Randy Savage Story Memphis Heat NXT: From Secret to Sensation NXT Greatest Matches Vol 1 OMG Vol 2: Top 50 Incidents in WCW History OMG Vol 3: Top 50 Incidents in ECW History Owen: Hart of Gold Randy Savage Unreleased: The Unseen Matches of the Macho Man RoH Supercard of Honor 2010-Present ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Hall: Living on a Razors Edge Shawn Michaels: My Journey Sting: Into the Light Straight Outta Dudley-ville: Legacy of the Dudley Boyz Straight to the Top: Money in the Bank Anthology Superstar Collection: Zach Ryder Then Now Forever – The Evolution of WWEs Womens Division TLC 2017 TNA Lockdown 2005-2016 Top 50 Superstars of All Time Tough Enough: Million Dollar Season True Giants Ultimate Fan Pack: Roman Reigns Ultimate Warrior: Always Believe War Games: WCWs Most Notorious Matches Warrior Week on WWE Network Wrestlemania III: Championship Edition Wrestlemania 28-Present The Wrestler (2008) Wrestling Road Diaries Too Wrestling Road Diaries Three: Funny Equals Money Wrestlings Greatest Factions WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2017

[taehyungsgrowl]

SFW Alphabet for Nate

I think I did it wrong last time bc I was waiting for people to send me letters when I was just supposed to go down the list. But I’m a dummy so disregard half of what I say.

i hope you guys like them and thank you virgo anon for the input w these 🥺i love our baby 🥺

Here we go:

A- Activity (What is their favorite activity to do with you.)

-- i think he likes doing new things w you. and i know that sounds cliche BUT hear me out. duncan is a bit of a home body 🥺loves to be curled up w reader sharing kissies and cuddling. nate enjoys that too but i think trying new adventures w you is his favorite. i can see him being the type to like hiking dates!! (also lets not forget the tik tok videos you guys make together )

B- Beginnings (How do they act in the beginning of a relationship)

-- considering the beginning did start off as something kinda casual between him and reader, he kept it as such. but he’s such a natural charmer that even when he’s not trying, he just comes across as super sweet. they’d finish hooking up and he’d offer her to stay over or get them food (not bc he felt like he needed to but it’s just the kinda guy he is) i think he probably let his goofy side out right at the beginning as well. its what helped y/n open up to him and feel at ease w him 🥺

C- Communication (Are they good communicators? How do they normally talk about their problems or solve issues)

-- big sigh. nate? was the KING of communication!! hell! he was able to talk to duncan (who ISNT the best at communicating) when they weren’t even friends and helped him talk to dumb!reader. plus he’d always been open about his feelings. told y/n right away when he knew he was in love. (i only say he WAS bc he should have told y/n he was struggling before he ended up in the hospital 🥺)

D- Drunk (What are they like when they’re drunk)

-- koala bear cuddly drunk!! not just between him and reader! but he will love on anyone! (omg.. you know dunc was a little 😳when drunk!bro!nate started hugging him... hiding his face in duncs neck... telling he smells good... telling him how much he loves him... bros 👯‍♂️)

E- Emergency (How are they in emergency situations? You get hurt, they get hurt, someone is dying etc..)

— oh god. nate is the type to keep cool and collected in an emergency - even if he were the one having an emergency 🥺 like if reader would’ve been w him during his car accident, she would have been worried sick over him and he’d just be like, “hey, look at me. i’m okay, yeah? a lot stronger than i look, babe.” even if it hurt like hell because he doesn’t wanna worry her. if you were in an emergency or got hurt, he’d go into sexy doctor mode. “tell me where it hurts.” squeezing your hand to reassure you, “i got you.” also kissies where it hurts 🥺 and he’s such a good listener too wow we have no choice but to simp.

F- Free Spot (I’ll give you any headcanon I come up with)

-- i’m just gonna share one head canon that virgo anon tossed at me that really made me 🥺 baby nate 🥺 and how when he was younger he was always a nice boy 🥺 but wasnt the popular or “hot” one until he grew into himself in college 🥺 when he got maxie and it helped him manage his stress enough to be able to make connections 🥺y’all when she said that it made me heart 🥺 my sweet boy

G- Gifts (What kind of gifts do they give? What kind of gifts do they get?)

-- i think his gifts are rarely “over the top” but !! they’re simple and personalized!!! like a lil necklace w his initials / name 🥺or maybe he has someone make a picture of you two into an animation? like have someone draw you guys (do u know what im talking about?) as far as gifts for him, he enjoys like “interactive gifts” like sending him on a lil scavenger hunt (nate loves setting them up for you too 🥺) but if you set one up for HIM? god! he’d love you!

H- Hugs (How do they show affection/cuddle)

-- nate loves! loves! to give forehead kissies (not just because he’s tall fjhsjh) and being hugged (or picked up) in his strong arms!! loves it!! he loves being the big spoon 🥺i love him. 

I- Irritation (What is something that irritates them? How do they show their irritation?)

-- that reader continues to choose duncan over him fkjsvsfkv he wears his heart on his sleeve so i think when nate is upset or irritated... you know. 

J- Jackpot (How would they spend their winnings if they won the lottery?)

-- does nate have more $ than the shepherds? debatable. but he isn’t as... flashy w his money as duncan is. he’s a little more down to earth if that makes sense. BUT thats besides the point. he’d probably donate a lot to a charity of his choice than take you on a little get away. maybe a cross country road trip 🥺 or off to an island getaway. he’s flexible. 

K- Kryptonite (What is their ultimate weakness?)

-- virgo anon made me 🥺when we were talking about this bc nate would do anything for the people he loves and 🥺that gets him hurt. especially when he feels like those people dont love him in the way he does them 🥺

L- Laughter (What makes them laugh?)

-- clown!! nate is the guy that always keeps you laughing 🥺and most times he cant even contain his own laughter omg i will cry im in love with one man

M- Morning ( How do they wake up in the morning? Are they a morning person or a morning grouch?)

-- he’s a morning person 🥺 likes to start off his morning with a run and protein shake SMH fitness KING. 

N- Needy (When do they feel particularly needy? How do they show it?)

-- he’s so used to being the one who’s needed 🥺 it takes him a while to be comfy being vulnerable and needy. idk if there’s anything in particular that sets him off to be like this - but i’d like to think it happens at random. like youre on the couch and he just nuzzles his face on your tummy for you to pet his hair. he demonstrates it by wanting to be close to you 🥺

O- Oasis (Where is their happy place? Where would they go if they didn’t have anything holding them back?)

-- i think he’d be the kinda guy that enjoys the sun (not just bc he looks hot, shirtless on a beach) but yes. somewhere nice and sunny where he could have maxie w him 🥺if he could stay on the beach where he started falling for dumb!reader (with her) for ever he would 🥺

P- Pain (How do they handle pain? How do they handle when you are in pain?)

-- emotional or physical? jfgksjdgsdk but no i think if he’s well regulated, he can handle pain well - it’s when he’s not that it’s a problem (w emotional pain) he stops taking care of himself the way he should and really spirals into his head a lot you know 🥺i think he can handle others being in pain better than himself bc he loves a lot and its easier to focus his attention on trying to fix things for them (like we said his biggest weakness is doing too much for those he loves)

Q- Quote (What’s a quote that fits them and your relationship)

-- “loving is easy” fjskfsf not to be too corny but 🥺being w nate was easy... always on the same page.. and made her feel good. 🥺

R- Reunion (How do they celebrate seeing you after a long time of being apart)

-- lots!!! of kissies!! picking you up!! holding you close!!! physical touch is pretty high on his love language list i think 🥺(i think quality time or acts of service might be his top two though) 

S- Stress (What stresses them out? How do deal with stress and how do they relieve it?)

-- i generally think duncan is more of a control freak than nate, but i do think to some extent, they’re similar that when things feel out of their control, it really stresses them out. i think it manifests at different times. i think for duncan its more trivial things whereas w nate, if he feels like he could be doing something to “fix” something and he cant do anything it freaks him out. hes a healer, you know. i think working out is a big stress reliever for him 🥺my strong baby!! that and goofing off w reader 🥺

T- Terror (What are they afraid of?)

-- this kinda ties into his weakness (and could be amplified by his younger years) but he’s afraid of not really being enough for those he loves. especially if he was teased as a kid 🥺maybe thats why in a lot of his nightmares the theme of abandonment appears a lot 🥺i made myself SAD 🥺

U- Unique (What is a quirk that is unique to them?)

-- i asked virgo anon for help on this one 🥺and i love her so much 🥺 nate tugs on his hair when he’s nervous 🥺 he gets a lil annoyed after he buzzes it off and doesnt have much to pull on 🥺he likes to hold hands when spooning. loves to sing along to disney movies (but lets be honest, he’s the real prince KING)

V- Violence (Do they fight a lot? Are they a good fighter? What is their fighting style?)

-- well... idk if it’s fair to say he fights a lot because he tries not to resort to that - especially grad school nate. mostly because he knows he’s good at fighting. omfg... boxer!nate.... may have all my rights. and he doesn’t really wanna hurt anyone. BUT if needed!!! he will throw down. (ex. when dunc wouldnt let y/n leave the house. and then attacked him!! nate had to stand his ground 😌

W- Wow (What do you do that really surprises them? What do you do that they really like?)

-- idk i think nate was probably really surprised when reader gave him that second chance at friendship in the bathroom 🥺didnt think she would. on a lighter note, surprising him w fresh cooked meals always make him 🥺because... he’s trying but hasnt mastered the cooking thing yet.

X- (Explicit headcanon. For all you degenerates)

-- he’s uhh packing 😳and it hits all the right spots, you know 😳omfg and lets not forget the dickscussion we had about his head game being stronger than duncans 😌

Y- Yucky (Is there something that grosses them out so badly that they can’t deal with it?)

-- i wasnt sure what really grossed out medical professionals (if anything djsfs) but we kinda head canon for him to be into family / pediatric medicine so anything w LOTS of blood loss probably freaks him out 

Z- ZZZ’s (What are their sleeping habits? Both with and without you)

-- my baby. nate has really bad night terrors especially on bad(tm) days. it usually helps to have someone w him to be able to keep him calm when he wakes up 🥺if its not y/n you can bet maxie will be there for tons of kissies. he’s a sleep talker 🥺and when sleeping w you he loves being big spoon 🥺and when he’s alone, he kinda sleeps curled up and w a lot of pillows. comfort KING

[gmsguild]

A New Chapter

I’ve been playing Dungeons and Dragons seriously since I was 12 years old, when my dad first taught me to DM 1st edition AD&D. Before that, I had played some version of early Basic D&D one-shots with my dad’s old DM and his kids. 

My love for fantasy started similarly young, my dad reading me Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter when I was in elementary school. He read me the Hobbit when I was probably 5, and I was hooked from there. From playing games with friends in the backyard to moving around the table in middle school, fantasy and roleplaying became a big part of my life. 

I played several campaigns through high school. Towards the end of high school, my group got too busy and we stopped playing. I started playing Elder Scrolls my freshman year of college, missing a group and needing some fantasy in my life. 

My sophomore and junior years saw the massive resurgence of Dungeons and Dragons into the public consciousness, and I finally updated to playing 5th edition, having now been able to find groups. Some time sophomore year, I found the Collective, and joined as the Nightblade, a class from the Elder Scrolls games I was playing regularly at the time. 

When I created this blog, my purpose was to create a space for nightblades and similar, stealthy spellcasters and agents of darkness who used magic to augment their skills, in the style that I’d found from the rest of the Collective. I think for a time, I succeeded, but ultimately, I felt overwhelmed trying to contain my love for fantasy, rpg video games, and ttrpgs in a blog designed for a single archetype. 

I’ve decided to leave the Collective. I’ve enjoyed being a part of it, but I never felt very involved, and in trying to hold up to the standards of a Collective blog, I feel that I’ve lost why I started this blog in the first place-- to have a place to share my love of fantasy and of games, of D&D, the Elder Scrolls, and of this wonderful community that I’ve become something of a part of: the blogs of Collectiverse. 

This blog is not and never has been solely for nightblades, for the stalkers in the dark, those that weave together spell and blade for nefarious purposes, even if that was the original intended purpose. I’ve enjoyed and will continue to enjoy playing nightblades. One of my current D&D characters that I play every week is a wizard with a criminal background, who specializes in silently getting in and out of difficult spaces. For all intents and purposes, she is a nightblade- using magic in the shadows. 

I have no plans to leave the community or this blog. The future of this blog depends largely on its follower base. In the last couple of years, somehow I’ve gotten a ton of you- almost 4000 at the time of posting, despite being a relatively inactive blog. I’m planning on changing my url, and it may change multiple times. I’ll start likely with gmsguild, dedicating this blog to all the dungeon masters, game masters, lorekeepers, guardians, storytellers, referees, and those that run the tabletop games that we’re all so fond of. If I think of a better url, it’ll change again. I’ve considered something like wearedms, to keep in the Collective style. Suggestions are welcome. Regardless of what I change it to, I’ll keep a recurring post stating the change running through the queue for a little while so people know who I am. 

(On a related note, I’m also a columnist for Collective Realms magazine (@collectiverealms)! I write for the GM advice column, so if you’ve got questions about being a DM or GM and want them answered, send them our way (gmadvice@collectiverealms.com)!)

I plan on continuing to share quality tabletop content, both reblogged and original when I can. I’ll likely use this space also to talk about my love for Critical Role and Elder Scrolls, to maybe post some things from my own campaigns, and to share my love of fantasy storytelling in general- the whole reason I got into the Collective and into D&D and Elder Scrolls in the first place. 

@weareadventurers, thank you. It has been a wild ride, even if, as fits my role as the nightblade, I’ve mostly just watched from the shadows. Many thanks to @wearepaladin, @wearemage, @weareassassin, @we-are-rogue, @theoutcastrogue, @weareoracle, @wearewarpriest, @we-are-eldritch-knight  and all the other members of the Collective I’ve gotten the chance to interact with. 

May the shadows keep you safe, my friends, and I hope you’ll stay with me through this next phase of my journey. 

[deborahdeshoftim5779]

Part II of my analysing the above scene from High School Musical 2. (Part I is here).  Apologies in advance for the poor video quality: I got this from YouTube. The full video is available from Google Play or in DVD format.

Having watched this scene yesterday and again today, I have some new observations on the various problems with Gabriella’s behaviour throughout. The last observation I made was that Ryan Evans had no problem with Troy chasing this scholarship opportunity, as it was clear from Mr. Evans’ high praise that he had earned it. 

“Oh yeah, they’re awesome! Playing with them is like being in another world.”

I had a previous post on this comment, but my computer froze before I could post it, so I lost everything. However, I do recall noting on this scene that the Redhawks had gone out of their way to welcome Troy. They invited him to scrimmage shortly after they met (without even watching Troy play first), listened to his tutorial on holding a golf club, gave him one of their jackets, and gave him a free ride to their gym. 

The film wants you to believe that these men help Troy get too big for his britches. Does the evidence support this? Notice that while Troy appears starstruck at meeting U of A players, they don’t bask in the praise. In fact, the first player is impressed that Troy has watched them play, and senses that he takes basketball seriously. Hence the immediate invitation for scrimmage. 

Yet just because Gabriella takes objection to Troy calling them, “the guys”, we’re to dismiss these men who take their profession seriously and play at an advanced level altogether. Gabriella ironically belittles them, calling them “all those tall people”. I invite the audience to decide who is really the snob here. As far as I can see, these Redhawks have shown themselves to be polite, friendly, and generous.

What’s “another world” for Troy? We don’t know. I can only assume that, based on their practice, Troy is more part of the team, rather than the one being pressured to deliver (as when he plays with the Wildcats). But that is just an assumption. 

Of course, Gabriella won’t pass on any compliments to Troy, even though by an impartial source, he is doing very well. Instead, she says:

“Well, you missed out on a fun night...”

So her priorities here are 1)- attention on her (hence dancing with Ryan); 2)- Troy only making friends she approves of (she takes no interest in the Redhawks); 3)- having fun right now (telling Troy that he “missed out”). Then she giggles with Ryan to underline how she has moved on emotionally.

To recap: Gabriella has ignored Troy’s call(s), treated Ryan as a new Wildcat, invested herself emotionally in Ryan, refused to apologise for missing Troy’s calls (which implies she ignored those calls), visibly shows more interest in Ryan (looking up at him while he passes on Mr. Evans’ compliment, but not Troy), and uses subtle hints to show that Troy is “missing out”. 

Remember these things, because the general consensus in the comments’ sections for HSM II videos is that Troy is at fault. I again invite the audience, armed with the above facts, to consider that-- particularly given Troy’s visible jealousy and upset with the above behaviour. 

“But the dessert afterwards had to be the best part. Her mom makes the best brownies in the entire world--”

“Yeah, I know: I’ve had ‘em.”

I think I have noted before how Gabriella did not see fit to invite Troy to her mother’s house, even if he had missed the baseball game (or even dessert). We know this, because Troy tried calling her to let her know that he was stuck at the gym. As I have fairly demonstrated, Gabriella ignored that call, because she only stared at him coldly when he mentioned it. 

As must be evident, Gabriella wishes to emphasise to Troy that he has been left behind. This is punishment for his “failing” to meet previous commitments and for appearing close to Sharpay. Many, if not most viewers take Gabriella’s side here, even though Troy did his utmost to explain on several occasions precisely why he had missed arrangements with his friends. 

Consequently, Troy cuts off Ryan, leaving an embarrassed silence as the latter eventually admits that things are troubled between the couple. He makes a quick exit, and who can blame him? 

I have just realised that Gabriella never defended Ryan after Troy cut him off. Taken in isolation, this is a rude action from Troy, and if Gabriella had discovered Ryan’s true worth, now was her chance to step in. But she remains silent, leaving Ryan to stand around in an awkward silence and then leave, no doubt feeling as though he did something wrong. 

(We know this, because later on, he waits for Troy to address him personally before speaking.)

Ultimately, as much as Gabriella does like Ryan, he was a tool to help her inflict emotional punishment on Troy. I think I have fairly demonstrated this, and I call upon anyone who feels that Troy was at fault to prove otherwise. The resulting cold silence between the two after Ryan has left more than proves this, with Gabriella refusing to even move an inch to bridge the gap between them or explain her feelings. 

The most I can say for Gabriella by the end is that she does appear remorseful after he has left: we can see her face change a little. This is consistent with HSM I, where she looks wistful standing alone at home, after having ignored Troy. But the other consistent theme here is Gabriella’s refusal to explain those feelings. I have far fewer problems with her behaviour in HSM I, but come the summer, she defaults back on the same fault: freezing Troy out-- and this time, replacing him with someone else. 

So here’s an honest question. How come Troy has to apologise to everyone and his mother for losing sight of his friends and his commitments, while Gabriella, who used Ryan, quit the show and had to be dragged back, is treated as though she was right all along? 

For me, Troy undoubtedly had his faults in this movie. But Gabriella’s behaviour here is indefensible. Troy had explained himself time and time again. She didn’t have to agree with or like those explanations, but it would have cost her nothing to listen, let alone give him the benefit of the doubt. Yet she behaved as though Troy had betrayed her, when all he did was put his future first so his parents could worry less about college costs. 

While I have no problem with characters having serious faults, and I do not like PC stuffed into film-writing, I still have to say that HSM II sends an atrocious message to its intended audience. 

[amphtaminedreams]

50 Films You’ve Got to Watch

Hi to anyone who’s reading,

I thought I’d take a break from the fashion posts to ramble on about something else that I’m really interested in for a hot minute. And I say ramble with intent, because I do go ON. 

The topic is film and I thought that I’d make a list of my 50 must watches. These are movies that I feel had the biggest impact on me which means, yes, I do have tattoos referring to a couple of them, lol. My genre of choice is usually horror and although there has been a bit of a “horror renaissance” and a shift towards prioritising good quality storylines over jump scares in recent years, on the whole, they typically aren’t the most highbrow films out there, so there aren’t THAT many on this list. Most of the horror films I listed are just genuinely good quality rather than a straight-up gorefest or anything too terrifying, however, I’m not that easily scared so if you did fancy watching any of the films I mentioned, take that with a slight pinch of salt!

Also, this isn’t anything to take too seriously. I really like movies and cinema but I’m also not a movie critic and this is more of a hobby than something I want to pursue. Like, I’m completely aware of how unrealistic working in TV or film is as a career if your family isn’t loaded. Very aware. Painfully aware you could say (imagine me sighing as I’m writing this). That being said, part of me does want to do a ranking of every film I’ve seen in 2019 at some point this year, so if anybody else is interested in this kinda thing let me know! 

Lauren x

50 Films You’ve Got to Watch:

1. Black Swan (2010)

“I felt it. Perfect. It was perfect.”

I watched Black Swan years ago now and I still remember how disturbing I found it and how exciting that was to me. I was probably a bit too young (young enough that my mum felt it necessary to cover my eyes during the Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis sex scene, lol) but even then I could recognise that it was a beautifully haunting film and Darren Aronofsky has gone on to be one of my favourite directors.

2. Jennifer’s Body (2009)

“And now, I'm eating your boyfriend. See? At least I'm consistent.”

Engrave it on my tombstone: JENNIFER’S BODY DESERVED BETTER. I fully believe that if this movie was released in 2019, it wouldn’t have faced half the criticisms it did back in 2009. It genuinely was ahead of its time. Megan Fox? As a boy-eating, demonic cheerleader? And Amanda Seyfried? Some of the most ICONIC DIALOGUE EVER? It should’ve invented a GENRE. Instead it got paid DUST. Yes, when I write in caps lock, my internal voice is YELLING. I feel passionately about this, okay?!

3. La La Land (2016)

“I guess I'll see you in the movies.”

Again, maybe it’s a basic film bitch opinion to have but I adored La La Land. I saw it at the cinema and spent the last 20 minutes of the film sobbing, only to find my mum and sister distinctly underwhelmed. I indignantly ranted back then to them how perfect a film it was and I’m going to do the same thing now so if you are reading and you didn’t like it, then you should probably just move on because I wouldn’t want to read myself banging on about Emma Stone again for several paragraphs either (don’t worry, I’ll try and keep it to one). I can’t help it. This film was just TOO REAL! Like, in every way but the actual plot and characters, La La Land has the dreamlike quality of a fairytale. The colours are rich and thick and always complimentary, the musical sequences are either like Disney songs or lullabies, and Emma and Ryan Gosling are made for each other. But then life and ambitions and resentments get in the way. And that’s the real part! That’s why it’s so bloody good! 

4. Easy A (2010)

“People thought I was a dirty skank? Fine. I’d be the dirtiest skank they’d ever seen.”

And so we arrive at the movie that actually began my love affair with Emma Stone. Iconic. Iconic in every way. The bad reputation montage is cinematic excellence. For real, though, this is so underrated as a coming of age movie. Like don’t get me wrong, Mean Girls is everything (I easily could’ve included it on this list but I feel like it’s just a given that anyone who grew up in the noughties loves that film) but Easy A deserves just as much credit. It has Penn Badgley, one of the few celebrity males I care about! Amanda Bynes! Aly Michalka! Lisa Kudrow! Did I mention Emma Stone?

5. Kill Bill (2003)

“Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!”

If I had to put any of these films as my singular favourite, it would probably be the first Kill Bill. Controversial, I know; even my dad introduced it to me as the weaker of the two. To list any Quentin Tarantino movie as the one that inspired you to want to be a director is probably a very cliche film student thing to say BUT I’m not a film student and I’ve put my directing pipe dream permanently to one side, thus, coming from me it’s not as hackneyed a statement. Or so I tell myself, lol. Basically, I was in awe of Kill Bill from start to finish. The colourisation is a dream, from the crazy 88 scene to the final fight between The Bridge and O Ren Ishii, and I particularly remember loving the animation sequence despite that not really being my kinda thing. I was just so impressed with how seamlessly something so out of place, considering the live action format of the rest of the film, fit in with everything else; even the scenes that should be absurd instead work with the comic book style narrative. Uma Thurman is of course amazing and iconic af but Lucy Liu as O Ren Ishii is my favourite thing about this film and the line I chose gave me all the bad bitch energy I need to, I think, get me through the rest of my time on this planet. If not, the tattooed version of this still I have on my arm should hopefully do the job. Yep, I truly ascended to a divine level of basic film hoe with that life choice.

6. Marie Antoinette (2006)

“This, Madame, is Versailles.”

The first Sofia Coppola film on this list, I love this woman’s work to death. Regardless of the content she’s working with, the end result always gives me the feeling I’m watching an extended music video. They always have this almost dreamlike quality to them and everything from the colour palette to the camera movements to the soundtrack in Marie Antoinette is tied together perfectly.

7. Mother! (2017)

“You never loved me. You just loved how much I loved you.”

I was tense throughout the entirety of Mother. As a socially anxious, obsessively tidy control freak, this whole film was like something from one of my nightmares; think unwanted house party on crack. I was mentally screaming along with Jennifer Lawrence for all of those people to get out, whilst simultaneously just staring at her face because she is so fucking gorgeous! Even when she’s completely lost it! Totally unrealistic but it makes for some really pretty shots! And then there’s the ending which left me kind of like “what the fuck did I just watch?” Which is what Darren Aronofsky films do best. They’re terrifying but also quite beautiful and Mother is no exception.

8. Gerald’s Game (2017)

“Everybody's got a little corner in there somewhere. A button they won't admit they want pressed.”

I finally got round to watching this for the first time the other day and I absolutely loved it. It probably helps that the last Stephen King adaptation I saw was Pet Sematary, so despite the praise this got at the time, my expectations weren’t super high, but I think this really is a perfect horror film. It’s clever, doesn’t rely on jump scares, and the creepy scenes that are in there really get under your skin. It drags a little in the middle though it’s beautifully shot, acted and has one of the few “body horror” scenes in a horror that’s actually made me cringe.

9. A Beautiful Mind (2001)

“I think that's what it's like with all our dreams and our nightmares, Martin, we've got to keep feeding them for them to stay alive.”

I don’t want to say too much about this film and spoil the plot, so I’ll just say that it’s incredible. Devastatingly sad but also wonderfully hopeful at the same time, and solidified my interest in psychology! I could watch Jennifer Connelly all day.

10. Alien (1979)

“This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off.”

As a horror fan, I don’t think I need to explain why this film’s on the list. It’s been raved about and video essayed and called a pioneer of the genre ad nauseam. Again, not that this is really anything new but part of what I love about this movie is the context of its release and success; before Sigourney Weaver’s portrayal of Ellen Ripley, it was a rare occurrence to have a female protagonist in an action-based movie. Alien really paved the way for women to take up space in a previously male-dominated genre.

11. 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

“Crazy is building your ark after the flood has already come.”

I saw this for the first time at the cinema and pretty much went in blind. I hadn’t seen Cloverfield but I love Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Final Destination 3 was always my favourite of the franchise, lol) and there wasn’t really anything else on worth seeing, so my sister and I chose this and it was an experience. Like, of all the films on this list, this is probably the one that had me most on edge and I’m not sure watching it on your laptop on Putlocker will do it justice. You need the curtains pulled to, the volume way up and complete silence.

12. American Psycho (2000)

“Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you fucking stupid bastard!”

There isn’t a dull moment in American Psycho. Every line is quotable and every scene is straight to the point. I feel like this film is a masterclass in that Stanley Kubrick quote about editing where he says he liked to get rid of everything that was not absolutely vital to advancing the plot or the audience’s understanding of the character in any way. Plus, the ending is trippy af! Or maybe I’m just a bit oblivious to something that was quite obvious throughout, who knows. Either way, what the final scenes really mean are fun to think about.

13. The Descent (2005)

“I'm an English teacher, not fucking Tomb Raider.”

Okay, so I literally just watched this the other day and had to begrudgingly remove Silent Hill to make space for it (I KNOW it was critically panned and I KNOW the video game is better but I liked the visuals, OKAY!?) because The Descent is truly one of the best horror films I’ve ever seen. Before we even get to the supernatural element of the creatures, which are genuinely creepy for once, there’s a party bag of other phobia-inducing sequences that had me emotionally exhausted within the first half hour alone. Claustrophobia, darkness, heights, actual cringeworthy body horror, The Descent has something for everyone. The way it utilises space (or lack of for that matter) and darkness and panicked camera pans makes you feel as if you are really down in the cave with the characters. To add to that, I was actually rooting for all of them too; it probably helped that they were English rather than the typical American slasher cast but I found them to be a believable and likeable group of women. I truly did want them all to get out alive *spoilers*, which only made the ending all the more devastating and although the general narrative is quite predictable, the way in which things get wrapped up left just the right amount of shocks and questions to leave you reeling.

14. Eighth Grade (2018)

“Gucci.”

No film has ever captured what it’s like having social anxiety during “high school” (it’s called secondary school here in England, I know, but you get me) better than Eighth Grade. A tribute to the feeling of never quite fitting in and wishing you knew how to do what everyone else seems to be able to do naturally, it encapsulates that awkwardness with an accuracy that is really impressive considering that 1. it’s Bo Burnham’s first film, and 2. he’s not...like...a 13 year old girl. It is just as funny as it is sad and Elsie Fisher is great and so, so believable. Girl should’ve won some kind of Oscar.

15. American Beauty (1999)

“I don't think that there's anything worse than being ordinary.”

I wavered on whether or not to include this film on the list due to the Kevin Spacey controversy and decided that I had to with the disclaimer that I watched it quite some time before the stories about him came out and won’t ever watch any of the new things he inevitably ends up doing (because Hollywood has a notoriously short memory when it comes to the actions of disgraced male actors, lol). You can’t deny the amount of talent and skill that went into making a film so graceful and elegant and yet in equal parts unnerving, and I don’t think we should refuse to acknowledge the achievements of everyone else on that set because of Spacey’s behaviour. 

16. Bandersnatch (2018)

“The past is immutable, Stefan. No matter how painful it is, we can't change things. We can't choose differently with hindsight. We all have to learn to accept that.”

As I was watching/playing through Bandersnatch, I didn’t necessarily love it. I think I’m echoing a common sentiment when I say that I was kinda confused. I was desperately trying to *spoiler* avoid the option of the protagonist murdering their dad (he seemed like a nice guy!?) but somehow always ended up there by their logic. So I watched most of the endings and then I went on and busied myself for the rest of the evening. AND I COULDN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. One minute I was completely deluding myself into believing the whole parallel universes thing was true and that I should test it out (don’t ask), and then the next I was thinking how disturbing it was that we’d been basically been inside the head of a person experiencing a mental breakdown severe enough for them murdering their dad, who had only ever wanted to help when you think about it objectively, to seem rational. The confusion started making sense within the context of the experience of the protagonist and our role as the audience and though I hadn’t realised it at the time, I’d been completely absorbed in the episode. Maybe the confusion wasn’t intentional, maybe I’m giving Charlie Brooker too much credit based on the recent couple of series of Black Mirror BUT I can’t deny that Bandersnatch left a huge mark on me, and after all, this is the man who wrote White Christmas. 

17. Get Out (2017)

“White girls. They get you every time.”

Going into this film, I was cocky. I’ve gotten pretty good at predicting what’s going to happen in things, probably just because I watch too much TV, but from the trailer I was sure I knew exactly what was going to happen. And then, I was completely blown away. The ending was SO SMART, in terms of both the within universe storytelling and also the metaphorical narrative/commentary on the way our society treats black men and women. Like those early episodes of Black Mirror, it had me like “how the fuck did Jordan Peele think of that!?”. I can only dream of being as creative in my writing one day. Even little plot points like where the “police” car turns up at the end and your stomach sinks and you realise the intention of that is most likely to help you empathise with what the average African-American person feels in their day to day life when police make themselves present, what with institutional police brutality and racial profiling; it’s clear so much thought went into this script.

18. Ghost Stories (2017)

“It's funny, isn't it? How it's always the last key that unlocks everything.”

I don’t have all too much to say about this one apart from that I love a well-constructed English horror. I feel like it’s something we don’t do all too often and to be honest, I’m struggling to think of many English horror films in the first place. Ghost Stories is a great example of why we need more; it’s smart and spooky and folky without hitting you over the head with all those elements and Andy Nyman is a perfect lead. Love a bit of Martin Freeman too.

19. Girl, Interrupted (1999)

“Crazy isn't being broken, or swallowing a dark secret. It's you, or me, amplified.”

Maybe this is the 13 year old black and white Tumblr girl in me jumping out but I still adore this film. I know it’s not necessarily the most critically well received but Winona Ryder, Angelina Jolie and Brittany Murphy are 3 of my favourite actresses and I do love the script. I also like the way that Borderline Personality Disorder was characterised in Winona’s character Susanna (I’m wavering on whether to call her a character as if I recall correctly the book was based on the author’s real experience) in that it was quite subtle and that she wasn’t portrayed as manipulative, or aggressive or basically, as the villain, which I feel is usually the go-to. It focussed more on the mood aspects and the way that people with BPD tend to latch onto and idealise others, as Susanna does with Lisa, and these are both things that I have personally struggled with in the past.

20. Hereditary (2018)

“All I do is worry and slave and defend you, and all I get back is that fucking face on your face!”

It was hard to find a quote that encapsulated what makes Hereditary so great because so much of it is about what isn’t said, if that makes sense. It’s a lot of pained silences and resentful looks and horrified screams, and doesn’t that sound like a fun time? Honestly, it’s not necessarily, lmao. Shocker. It has you feeling like something awful is about to happen the whole time, deep in the pit of your stomach, but I like that in a film, when it does make you properly feel. Ari Aster gets slow-burning dread just right in his exploration of dysfunctional families and grudges, with a few heart-sinking shocks thrown in for good measure all without overdoing the jump scares. There are a lot of deeply unnerving “supernatural” moments but there are just as many horrifically realistic familial conflict scenes that give you that whole “something is wrong” gut instinct in equal measures. It’s been a year and I’m still so angry that Toni Collette didn’t get an Oscar nomination for her performance, because it was really the perfect opportunity to break down the invisible wall between horror and critical recognition. On a more positive note, I loved Midsommar too (not as much as Hereditary but it was still a trip) and I cannot wait to see what Ari Aster does next. Once again, I’ll be in the cinema on opening night.

21. Heathers (1988)

“Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count.”

Heathers is iconic in every way: the outfits, the cast, the lines. I mean, the acting can be a bit iffy at times but I honestly think that without Heathers, Jennifer’s Body might never have existed and that’s a world I wouldn’t want to live in. There was so much choice when I was picking a line to summarise why I like it so much and of course, “fuck me gently with a chain saw, do I look like Mother Theresa?” deserves an honourable mention. You almost made it bby. The TV remake? We don’t speak of it.

22. Hot Fuzz (2007)

“The way we see it, it’s all for the greater good.”

It might not be the “artiest” movie ever but I’ve seen Hot Fuzz so many times and it never gets old. Though I used to love it when I was younger purely for the PG-13 gore, now I appreciate it for the absurdity and the ridiculousness and to be honest, the total believability of the plot when it comes to towns ruled by low-key hostile, doddery old white people. I should know, I live in one.

23. Inglourious Basterds (2009)

“You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business. We in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin’.”

I wish I wasn’t a hoe for Quentin Tarantino films (I’ve felt personally attacked by many a poundlandbandit starter pack) but I am. The breakneck pacing, the tongue in cheek dialogue and the gore all make this one of my ultimate favourites. Also, I have a huge crush on Melanie Laurent. Yes, it’s the French accent. No, I don’t know the mechanics of how that works. I hear someone speak French and I want to marry them! I can’t help it!

24. Ingrid Goes West (2017)

“Are you actually insane?”

This seems like a random choice to have on the list seeing as it was never really that hyped up, nor did it receive masses of critical acclaim. It did get positive reviews but that was about it. However, as soon as I saw the trailer, I knew I had to see it. Months, and an £8 purchase from HMV later, I finally got to watch Ingrid Goes West and I loved every moment of it. Whilst Aubrey Plaza’s character, I feel, is an exploration of a lot of young women’s insecurities and self-doubts and fears, blown up to monstrous proportions (or maybe just mine, lol), and a 90 minute film about that doesn’t sound all that revolutionary, this one is as intense as it is stylish and darkly comedic and that’s what puts it on the map for me. 

25. Insidious (2011)

“I like to call them travellers.”

So this film scared the ever-living SHIT out of me when I was younger and though I now consider horror my favourite genre and watch it on the regular with absolutely no qualms, 13 year old me was (not to use the world lightly) mildly traumatised. I genuinely couldn’t be home alone by myself or sleep at night without thinking the old woman ghost from the beginning was outside my room for a good 6 months or so. Like it literally exacerbated an already present sleep disorder to the point where my understandably frustrated-at-being-woken-up-nightly-by-her-panicking-daughter mother got me referred for CBT (to reflect on a time when I didn’t know what CBT or CAMHS was is…blissful, lol). And maybe because of that, in my mind, I still conceptualise it as one of the very few horror movies that has actually scared me, hence its place on the list. That scene where we first see that Star Wars looking red faced devil? I’d probably still nope out even now.

26. It Follows (2014)

“It could look like someone you know or it could be a stranger in a crowd. Whatever helps it get close to you.”

There’s not too much to say about It Follows, other than that it’s a good horror film and more importantly just a really good film. I feel it’s a crucial, early part of this warmly welcomed horror renaissance we are now fully in the thick of where writers are focussing less on making people gasp and more on actual good quality cinema. It’s a simple concept that leaves enough room for you to ask your own questions whilst still feeling somewhat complete, and not annoyingly open-ended. The shots are good, the characters are normal enough to be believable, and the colour palette is Fincher-esque; the muted tones perfectly complement the feelings of dread that run throughout. Whilst you don’t need to be concerned with what the whole thing is a metaphor of in order to enjoy the film, the possibility of there being that second reading of the narrative, for me, elevate it to a higher level. In other words, it’s got *Shrek voice* layers.

27. Juno (2007)

“I'm just gonna go ahead and nip this thing in the bud. Cuz you know, they say pregnancy often leads to…you know...an infant.”

I love Ellen Page. I love Michael Cera. Together they are the best thing ever. See, I’m not really much of a rom-com girl but I see this as less of a rom-com and more of a coming of age film with romantic snippets and great one liners. It’s sweet and whimsical and funny but also really fucking real in parts, and it’s definitely what I would consider a modern classic. If you haven’t watched it already, do!

28. Suspiria (2018)

“Love and manipulation, they share houses very often. They are frequent bedfellows.”

Witches! Ballet dancing! Decapitation! Tilda Swinton! What’s not to love? As soon as I saw the trailer for Suspiria, I knew I had to see it. Creepy but also beautifully shot and scored, it was worth the 8 month wait from the Venice Film Festival and eventual caving and watching on 123Movies after I couldn’t find the DVD on Amazon; I finally got to tick it off my watch list only to like it so much I had to add the original Suspiria back on.

29. Mulholland Drive (2001)

“I hope that I never see that face, ever, outside of a dream.”

Another film which had me like WTF by the end, I really recommend Mulholland Drive for anyone who wants to be vaguely creeped out and extremely confused at the same time. See, I really love a film where you spend the next few hours after watching researching all the different interpretations and reading interviews with the director. That sounds sarcastic, but honestly, I love it. It’s a moody, film-noir style mindfuck of a movie and even after doing my research I’m still quite baffled. That’s the best part. 

30. Requiem for a Dream (2000)

“Purple in the morning, blue in the afternoon, orange in the evening.”

It took me a while to get on board with seeing Marlon Wayans in a serious role (I’ve seen White Chicks far too many times, clearly), but once I did, I was into it. To be totally honest, I don’t think there’s a single happy moment in this film; it comes up quite frequently as one of the most disturbing of all time, which I’m sure Aronofsky probably thinks of as another notch on his belt. Whilst imo, that’s quite a grandiose claim, Requiem for a Dream definitely stuck in my mind after I watched it. Even if you’ve never watched the film, the ending sequence is notorious for how fucked up it is and I do think it’s earned the infamy. What stuck out more to me, though, was how purposeful every shot and sequence felt in terms of trying to let you into the character’s states of mind, the short lived bursts of euphoria and the panicked downwards spirals.  I think it will always be one of the most compelling films about addiction for highlighting how terrifyingly out of one’s control it can be.  

31. Room (2015)

“No one is strong alone.”

This film made me cry buckets. Brie Larson and Jacob Tremblay are wonderful, and everyone involved deserved all the Oscar hype. Every line was so heartfelt and emotive, and I loved Tremblay’s voiceovers. To translate the stream of consciousness of a kid from page to screen in a way that it remains believable in spite of its wisdom (not like those tweets where people try to make out their kid just casually made some off the cuff scathing political jibe at the dinner table) is quite the feat and similarly, I’m in awe of how the director managed to communicate the pain and confusion of the characters on a level that transcended the physical confines of said room. The escape scene had my heart in my mouth. All this being said, I should really read the book because it’s supposed to be even better. 

32. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (2010)

‘When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.”

Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead are two of my favourite actors and so it’s a given that Scott Pilgrim is one of my favourite films. It’s such a fun, easy watch and the video-game inspired directorial style makes it, in terms of cinematography, probably the most memorable Edgar Wright film on this list imo. The concept, based on the graphic novel, is quite a simple one but that doesn’t stop it being entertaining from start to finish. The rest of the cast is great too: Brie Larson, Anna Kendrick, Mae Whitman, Aubrey Plaza and Alison Pill (Ivy from American Horror Story, anyone?) All make appearances, plus Chris Evans. He’s Captain America or something, right?

33. Scream (1996)

“No, please don't kill me, Mr. Ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel!”

The Scream movies were my absolute favourite when I was just getting into “horror” as a 13/14 year old because they were always pretty tame in terms of scares but nonetheless, always a trip. Though, controversially, I’d probably say I enjoyed Scream 4 just as much as the first one (I am a bit of an Emma Roberts stan), I chose the first one purely for how iconic it was and how ahead of its time. It mixed satire and horror in a way that hadn’t really been done in such a mainstream way before and made it possible for films like Cabin in the Woods and The Final Girls to do so well.

34. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

“Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil, sorry, grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.”

I’ve seen Shaun of the Dead way, way, way too many times and I’ll still probably watch it again the next time ITV decide to show it too. It makes me laugh, it’s got lots of good gore and it’s easy to follow. The perfect film to put on whilst eating a take away, as long as you’re not too squeamish, lol.

35. Silence of the Lambs (1991)

“Well, Clarice. Have the lambs stopped screaming?”

Jodie Foster’s portrayal of Clarice Starling makes her one of my favourite movie heroines of all time; quietly courageous, she was the type of female lead that really hadn’t cropped up all that much in the films that came before Silence of the Lambs. And despite its problematic handling of certain issues, it’s a fucking incredible film. The thing about Hannibal Lecter is that they don’t have to tell you that he’s always one step ahead, you see it for yourself (the elevator scene!) and so it kinda feels like he’s looking into YOUR soul too. The confrontation at the end between Clarice and Buffalo Bill is one of the most nerve-racking 15 minutes or so of film I’ve ever watched, and if I ever get asked to justify why I’m scared of the dark again, I’m going to point straight to this scene. Yes, I’m a baby but my fears are VALID!

36. Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

“I do this! Time after time after time! I do all this shit for other people! And then I wake up and I'm empty! I have nothing!”

As you can probably tell from my inclusion of Mother! on this list, I love Jennifer Lawrence, and this is probably my favourite drama film of hers. The way that she and Bradley Cooper portray two people struggling with mental illness is refreshingly honest in that it shows it can make you quite an unlikeable person at times, albeit someone who is just trying their best to survive. That being said, in spite of the subject matter it’s still a relatively light and easy-to-watch film. The diner scene in particular is a masterclass in realistic conflict and reaction, and I hate to be “ooo, edgy” but several of the lines did strike a really deep chord.

37. The Babadook (2014)

“Sometimes I just want to smash your head against the brick wall until your fucking brains pop out.”

The best thing that the Babadook does, much like It Follows, is instils a sense of deep seated dread in you before you even see the supernatural forces at work. The washed out colour palette, apparent emotional disconnect of Jennifer Kent’s (who also directs!) character, and the disorienting movements of the camera all help to create a lingering unease that is just as effective as the grossly uncanny appearance of the monster/ghost/creature/whatever-you-want-to-call-it himself. It’s obvious that Kent had a very clear vision of the story she wanted to tell and even more so that she is a very talented woman; I hope to see even more female directed horror films in the future if the Babadook is anything to go by. The way this film blurred the lines between the inner struggles of a grieving family and the outside supposedly paranormal influence was unsettling as fuck and to get into the psychology of a mother left on her own to raise a small child and how terrifying that might feel is something only a immensely intuitive and empathetic woman could do. Props to her.

38. The Craft (1996)

“We are the weirdos, mister.”

Not to sound all halloween-is-the-only-day-of-the-year-I-care-about VSCO girl (although that might actually be quite an accurate description of me to be honest), but if there’s one thing that sticks in my mind about the craft, it’s the aesthetic. It’s kind of what I aim to emulate in every aspect of my life, NBD. Seriously, when I was trying to pick a still, I was spoilt for choice. The rituals, the outfits, the witchy interiors; there’s this one GIF of Nancy, Rochelle, Bonnie (and maybe Sarah?) lighting all these gorgeous candles and if I could walk around with it permanently looping on my forehead, I would. And ignoring my shallow reasons for liking The Craft, it’s just a really good film. Nancy Downs is probably one of the most interesting female villains of all time and I’m obsessed with anything that explores magic and the occult. It’s equal parts dark and girly, not to use that in a derivative way at all, in that not only does it teeter on the line of being scary, it’s also a gritty exploration of female friendship, power and jealousy. If you are a halloween-is-the-only-day-of-the-year-I-care-about VSCO girl, definitely watch it; more power to you.

39. The Favourite (2018)

“All I know is, your carriage awaits and my maid is on her way up with something called a pineapple.”

I’d seen The Favourite twice within, like, a month of it being released in British cinemas and I do not have a single regret about that; well, maybe a minor regret in paying over £12 to see it in the Leicester Square Odeon with the assumption that the extra price meant fancy seats (it didn’t), but on the whole, I’m pretty happy with my life choices. Emma Stone, Olivia Colman, and the period Mean Girls comparison drew me in but I came back the second time for the costumes, the dialogue, the editing and Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough. Or Rachel Weiss, in other words. See, The Favourite is superbly casted in that Yorgos Lanthimos must have known we can’t help but see Emma Stone as the “good girl”/protagonist and so it took me a whole second viewing to see her character for what she really was, and realise The Favourite is in some ways less a story of Abigail Masham’s rise to power and more the tragic disintegration of Sarah and Anne’s relationship. I’m sure you can view the film both ways but to view it as the latter brings a whole new dimension to it and the ending, imo. I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t go into the film expecting some vaguely historical lesbianism and that definitely made for a slightly awkward birthday viewing with my family BUT I wasn’t at all disappointed.

40. The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)

“If you dig a hole in the yard, better make it a big one.”

This film is slow-moving, weird and the acting can be stiff at the best of times, and yet somehow all these things add to the (take a shot every time I say-) dread that builds throughout. You don’t know exactly how things are going to end, but you do know it’s not well. Like in his latest directorial entry of The Favourite, Yorgos Lanthimos excels in the realm of the strange and vaguely fantastical through his script, score and cinematography, and so even though the settings are quite mundane, The Killing of a Sacred Deer kind of feels like some macabre modern fairytale, the moral of which I can’t quite work out. I can’t imagine anyone playing Martin more unnervingly than Barry Keoghan and I’m never going to complain about Nicole Kidman, but it’s the imagery of the tears of blood, Steven’s children dragging themselves along the floor and the ending scene that stuck with me long after the film had finished. If you’ve got the patience and you enjoyed the style of The Favourite, there’ll definitely be something positive for you to take away from The Killing of a Sacred Deer.

41. The Orphanage (2007)

“Seeing is not believing. It's the other way around. Believe, and you will see.”

When I was first told by my year 11 Spanish teacher that we were going to be watching The Orphanage in class, I definitely didn’t foresee myself including it in a top 50 films list 5 years later and yet here we are. I mean, I shouldn’t have been surprised really as she did tell us it was good and I had frequently seen it included in lists of the best horror films but as with pretty much anything our teachers would put on as an excuse not to teach for a few lessons (I’m really NOT complaining here, they deserve the break and I would definitely do the same, lol), my expectations were definitely low. Side note, I also since found out that Bilbao seems like a pretty cool place and there was a reason she kept banging on about that too, and so moral of the story, teachers do sometimes have some decent recommendations BUT my assumption was that The Orphanage must be pretty tame for her to show it to us. Parents-even of 16 of year olds-love to complain, lol. And to be fair,  it isn’t so much in your face scary so much as it is kind of tragic with an undertone of spooky but I really enjoyed it. I want to say that part of what I enjoyed about it so much was the mystery element but honestly I think a lot of that comes from the fact that it’s in Spanish so I had to work to follow what was actually going on. 

42. The Ring (2002)

“I can't imagine being stuck down a well all alone like that. How long could you survive?”

The Ring does visuals better than any other horror. The contorted faces of Samara’s victims, the infamous tape and the shots of the well all have a staple in pop culture for a reason. Whilst I don’t find Samara herself particularly frightening, the lore and mythology surrounding her feels so authentically creepy; the tape in particular reminds me of the kind of weird YouTube video you might stumble across when you’re supposed to be trying to get to bed late at night and instantly hate yourself for watching. Naomi Watts is a compelling lead and though I was probably rooting for Sarah Michelle Gellar in the American remake of the Grudge more (I still low-key associate her with the live-action Scooby-Doo and I have no shame), to compare other noughties horror classics, on the whole The Ring is definitely the better quality movie.

43. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

The Shawshank Redemption is just an unequivocally good film. On paper, it doesn’t necessarily have any of the things that draw me to a movie in it, but it’s brilliantly acted, written and shot. It’s frequently cited as one of the greatest movies of all time and I think that’s a very fair statement.

44. The Shining (1980)

“Wendy? Darling? Light of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in!”

I love The Shining. In terms of scares, not all that much happens in it, but what we do see (the corpse in the bath tub is fucking horrifying) undoubtedly leaves an impact. The score is so unnervingly perfect that I can still hear the sound that’s made when we see those 2…puppets? Costumed people? Basically some kind of weird furry activity-which believe me, makes sense if you’ve seen it-going on. And I only need to see a still of the Overlook Hotel and I can immediately feel the sense of claustrophobia and growing tension that Stanley Kubrick so effectively communicated. A lot of people shat on Shelley Duvall’s acting at the time and whilst she obviously didn’t match Jack Nicholson’s energy, she did come across as a woman genuinely traumatised which is sad when you do consider the effect that shooting the film had on her. With that aside, The Shining is a massively pivotal part of horror history and I’m very excited to see Doctor Sleep this year!

45. The Virgin Suicides (1999)

“Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl.”

It really is a toss up between Marie Antoinette and The Virgin Suicides when it comes to Sofia Coppola’s best film, and so of course I had to include them both. See, whereas Marie Antoinette could be the visual incarnation of an album like Marina and the Diamonds’ Electra Heart or Charli XCX’s Sucker (if you ignore the less than fortunate ending, lmao), The Virgin Suicides plays out more to the tunes of something less bubblegum pop and more breezy and mellow, maybe LDR’s Ultraviolence or Honeymoon. You could say in a way that this film romanticises suicide and you’d definitely have a point, but I think considering the fact that it’s based on a book and was made in a time when we were less aware of the damage popular media can do (I think there’s a similar point to be made about the way the villain of Silence of the Lambs’s gender is portrayed and linked to his motivation), I give it a pass. It does also kind of make sense for the film to take this approach; the Lisbon girls are viewed through the eyes of a group of boys who are infatuated with them but also ultimately know nothing about them. In a way, it’s almost a critique of the way these boys think and a commentary on just how stifling and confusing young womanhood can be. I think it’s a beautiful film and a perfect adaptation of Jeffrey Eugenides’ novel.

46. The VVitch (2015)

“Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”

Is it sad that I have this quote tattooed on my back? Is it biased for me to say no? Because for me, just as much as the Virgin Suicides is about how stifling society’s expectations of young women and how they are supposed to think and act, The VVitch is about the demonisation of girls who go against this and how liberation and sexual freedom for so long were perceived as the result of some kind of satanic and deeply disturbing force at work rather than individual expressions of freedom and femininity. The ending is HAPPY, okay, and if you take away the misty, barren landscapes and the isolation and the paranoia and the baby eating witches and the accusations and the demonic goats, it’s kinda a dark feminist fairy tale to go against puritan panic. I mean, let’s be honest, *spoilers* Thomasin’s siblings were annoying AF. Not that I’m condoning child murder on any level, but you know. In a narrative context was it really so much of a loss when those little shits got the chop?

47. Thoroughbreds (2017)

“At the end of the day, I have a perfectly healthy brain. It just doesn't contain feelings. And that doesn't necessarily make me a bad person. It just means I have to work a little harder than everybody else to be good.”

I love Olivia Cooke. I love Anya Taylor-Joy. I love concise, cutting dialogue, the idea of middle class American social politics, and a little bit of (fictional, of course) murder thrown in there for good measure. Thus, I really love Thoroughbreds. If you watched it with the sound off, it’d be a Polo Ralph Lauren promotional film that gets really dark at the end, and what’s not to like about that?

48. We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

“What are these people watching, people like me?”

I still haven’t got round to reading the book this film was based on and I feel like that’s something I need to get on top of ASAP, because it’s been sitting on my shelf for a long ass time. However, based on the little I know about how faithful a film adaptation it is, I think Ezra Miller and Tilda Swinton were a wonderful pairing, and this is a film that’s all about the characters, so it’s a good job they were so well cast. Miller does a great job at getting right under your skin and answering a lot of my questions about what leads someone to commit the kind of horrific crime that his character, Kevin, does. Arrogance, done subtly, is hard to pull off but he nails it, and Swinton is very, very believable as a haunted, grief-stricken mother wrestling with the natural question of the part she played in her son’s actions and the scrutiny that comes with it. Not only that but from the offset, every part of the cinematography helps to convey the feeling of impending doom that builds right up until the climax. The colour palette in particular, which for the most part doesn’t stray too far from the mundane greys and bleak washed-out tones perhaps reflective of Eva’s state of mind, does a great job of foreshadowing what to come when it quite purposefully does take a diversion. It’s all about the red, apparently. Take note.

49. Whiplash (2014)

“Any fucking moron can wave his arms and keep people in tempo. I was there to push people beyond what's expected of them. I believe that is an absolute necessity.”

You honestly wouldn’t believe that a film about drumming could feel like a horror and yet here Whiplash is, leaving me on the edge of my seat and wincing for, like, 2 hours straight. Tonally it couldn’t be more different from the other Damien Chazelle film on this list (La La Land), and yet it flows just as seamlessly and has his same impeccable rhythm; every word, yell and snarl slots perfectly into place and every swivel of the camera is flawlessly executed. If you’re looking for an intense and fast-paced drama, I can’t recommend Whiplash enough.

50. Zombieland (2009)

“Twelve's the new twenty. Gun please.”

Zombieland has only one fault: that Jesse Eisenberg’s character wasn’t played by Michael Cera. But it has Emma Stone and Woody Harrelson so I’ll let it slide. Not much to say about this one other than it’s a wild ride from start to finish, but simultaneously easy to watch and probably the most lighthearted zombie film out there. Almost like The Hangover or something along those lines, but with the addition of the undead. It’s a hard film not to enjoy and I’m just really hoping they don’t fuck up the sequel.

DISCLAIMER: 90% of these stills are from Filmgrab, it’s an amazing website!

[loopy777]

You've got me curious now as to what anime youve seen, enjoyed and why.

Oof, I don’t track that type of thing. I’ve been asked about anime I like previously, and I feel like I always forget something. I suppose I should start a MyAnimeList one of these days, just for reference.

So let’s list everything I can remember, as well as a pithy reaction.

Baccano!This one is just so much fun. It’s violent and crass in a classy way, it’s funny in a weird way, and it’s a great example of a non-linear narrative. I love it.

Code Geass (Season 1)Ugh, I only watched this one because people solicited my opinion on it. Well, my opinion is that it’s not as smart as it wants to be, there’s too much contrived melodrama (and considering the wild premise, that’s saying something), and Kallen would be a wonderful and interesting character if she wasn’t always being demeaned for fan-service. I quit when the first season finale kicked off, because I felt things were just getting too contrived. I hear it really fell apart in the second season.

Cowboy BebopI found this a bit pretentious. It had good episodes and bad episodes. The production quality is good. But I'm not sure why it's legendary. Still, I liked its sense of humor, and enjoyed it when it wasn’t trying to be super serious. My favorite character is Ed.

Demon SlayerI'm mainly watching this because my brother wanted to give it a try on Toonami, but I kind of checked out when it unceremoniously removed everything difficult about the sister being a demon and made her into an order-following sidekick that fits in a suitcase. Now the latest episode introduced a loud annoying side character, so we may quit. I have no idea why this one is so popular.

Fullmetal AlchemistCovered

Gatchaman CrowdsI was asked to watch this one, as well, but it went a lot better than Code Geass. It’s a bit weird, and I think it's naively optimistic about the internet in many ways, but I still found it's exploration of Internet-age superheroes to be interesting, and it's the best, most mature take on the Power Rangers-style ‘sentai’ genre that I've seen. I don't know how well it matches up with its Gatchaman legacy, but as its own thing, it's pretty good.

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex (including 2nd Gig)This is another legendary one that I think is good but a bit over-rated. It's a good piece of modern Cyberpunk, but it's very talky, and very jargon-filled. I'm almost convinced that the viewer is not meant to follow half of the conversations, that they're just part of the ambiance. I tended to like the stand-alone episodes better than the storyline episodes. Still, it’s a very smart series, and probably the best thing in the franchise, from what I’ve heard.

Log Horizon (first season only)I’ll tell you what- I think it’s possible to make a good anime with the premise of people from the modern, real world entering a fantasy realm (either another dimension or a VR video game). Log Horizon did not end up being that ideal. The main character is a Gary Stu, his romances with girls who are either ten years old or just look like they’re ten years old are creepy, and it got boring seeing the protagonists’ plans always succeed without much of a hitch.

Lupin III (series 4 and 5)I like this franchise when it's being clever, when it's springing a twist while playing fair. Sometimes, though, it doesn't play fair with its twists, leaving me underwhelmed. And while the regular cast is amusing, they're fairly shallow characters; this isn't always a bad thing, as that allows them to slot into all kinds of genre fare, but does limit the storytelling ambitions. It’s fine.

Macross franchiseSuper Dimensional Fortress MacrossI still like the original, despite how dated it is. It's probably the best possible implementation of 'soap opera in space.'

Macross PlusI'm not sure why this one is so revered. I feel like it doesn't play fair with its mystery, despite being such a short story, and whole thing with the killer popstar AI just left me cold.

Macross 7I like the music, but the story really drags for the first half with a formula that’s repeated far too long, and then falls apart in the end. The love triangle isn’t resolved, and in fact I’m of the opinion that two of the participants didn’t even know they were in competition. The bad guys are allowed to sail off into the sunset, forgiven, despite still inhabiting the bodies of kidnapped humans. But this isn't a series you watch for the story; this is a series you watch because you like the idea of a rockstar flying into space in a transforming mecha, controlled by an electric guitar, to sing at alien invaders. Personally, I think the idea is dumb. Plus, this ruins the premise of the original series by adding in what is effectively magic.

Macross ZeroThis is pretty good and has the best dogfights in the series, but it has one of those weird arty endings that anime sometimes likes to do where no one can tell what actually happened and we need to find translated interviews with the creative team to get it explained.

Macross FrontierBy this point, I was wondering why everyone is so eager for the Macross franchise to get American distribution. It’s better than Macross 7, but feels like a first draft of the intended story, and the creative team lost track of their own subplots. The two AU movies do a more satisfying take on the same basic story, but sometimes they come across like an abridged recap of the series, so you really need to watch everything to get a satisfying experience. That said, the final experience was indeed fairly satisfying, making this the second best thing in the franchise for me. Still, I wouldn’t say it lives up to the original in any way.

Macross DeltaBoy, this one was dumb. Everything wrong with Frontier is worse here, with none of the good stuff.

The Melancholy of Haruhi SuzumiyaI still want an ending for this, despite nothing worthwhile coming from it since 2011. It wouldn't even be hard to pick it up again; set it in modern times, and explain the fact that everyone has smartphones now to be a result of some weird off-screen Haruhi antics.

Mobile Suit Gundam franchiseMobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded OrphansI've only ever experienced the Gundam franchise because my brother wants to get into it and he keeps trying to find a vector. This was my first experience with it, and I found it very 'teenage boy,' in both tone and story. I was underwhelmed.

Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn RE:0096Another case where the storytellers reached the end only to have forgotten the rest of the story. Why does that happen so often in anime? And I think it assumes the viewer is familiar with the whole rest of the franchise, because there was a lot that just went straight over my head but didn't seem like it was supposed to. Nice animation and art style, though.

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Origin - Advent of the Red CometEverything I said about Unicorn, only more.

My Hero AcademiaCovered

NichijouThis thing is still hilarious, even after a rewatch. Stick with the sub, as the new dub's voice-acting doesn't have the same range and power of the original, losing a lot of the humor.

Outlaw Star I'm struggling to remember a lot of this one. it’s another I watched because my brother was interested in it. I do recall that it was a fairly standard Space Western that ends in a way that's more like serious science fiction, and that for some reason a Japanese swordswoman in classic clothing was part of the cast. Now I wonder if that was an homage to Lupin III. Or maybe Japan just really loves throwing classic samurai into everything, regardless of setting or genre.

Pokemon (part of first series)I was in high school when this franchise first came to America, and for some reason all the geeks in my high school thought it was the greatest thing. The games were good, yeah, but the anime? I don't think it's bad for a kiddie cartoon, but it obviously has no greater ambitions than pleasantly occupying the kids for 22 minutes. Personally, what I really want is a series about Team Rocket done in the style of Cowboy Bebop.

Princess TutuCo-owner of the Best Magical Girl designation. I forget who asked me to watch this, but I owe them.

Puella Magi Madoka MagicaCo-owner of the Best Magical Girl designation. I still haven't bothered with anything but the original series, and I continue to be happy with that choice.

Samurai ChamplooI liked this better than Cowboy Bebop, but only because its ambitions were lower. It leaned more into its genre, had fun with its style more even when being serious, and as a result became more enjoyable. I overall liked going on a journey with these rascals, but I think it ended at a good point. I don’t need more.

Spice & Wolf (first season)I watched this on someone's suggestion, and found it a little underwhelming. What I really appreciated were the two main characters, especially that they seem to be into each other, romantically and sexually, and aren't freaked out by it while at the same time not being in a hurry to become a couple. It was just a kind of, "Yeah, this could really be something if we ever find the time." It was so amazingly mature and real. Too bad the main Economics plotlines just wound up being tepid.

Tekkaman BladeMy thoughts haven't changed on this.

Tiger & BunnyI'm still fond of this one, and I'm actually kind of curious to revisit it in light of My Hero Academia.

Transformers ‘Unicron Trilogy’These three cartoons are true anime, produced by and for Japan. (The other cartoons in the franchise were written, and sometimes animated, in the west.) It's garbage that assumes its child audience are morons, and on top of that the first two series wound up with laughably bad dubs. How this trilogy revitalized the franchise, I have no idea, and thankfully I'll never have to worry about it.

Volton (original)Either this or Robotech/Macross was my first anime; I was too young to say which I discovered first. I'll admit that the original Voltron isn't good, despite the toy being neat, but I have a soft spot for it. I tried the Netflix reboot, watching the first three episodes, and found it to be vacuous junk. Maybe some day a version of this will come along that will do justice to the toy.

And I think that’s it. If I remember anything I left off, I’ll reblog with the addition.

[thearkhound]

CGWorld: Interview with Resident Evil 7′s lead character artist

The following is a translation of an interview with Hirofumi Nakaoka, the lead character artist for Resident Evil 7: Biohazard that was published on the CG World website on January 13, 2017.

You can find the original article on the following link:

https://cgworld.jp/interview/201701-capcom.html

Introduction

Resident Evil 7: Biohazard, the latest installment in the popular survival horror game series has finally been released. It’s the first numbered title in the series developed natively for current [8th] generation consoles based on Capcom’s in-house “RE Engine”, which also supports VR, incorporating a presentation of fear like nothing that came before. With the entire game being fully compatible with VR, the title is expected to be a spark that will ignite the VR gaming market.

Capcom, the company who developed and published RE7, has established two new local development bases in Osaka with a focus on in-house development. They are aggressively hiring human resources and are expected to have over 2,500 game creators in their employ by the year 2021. Such a company-wide strengthening of its development system is also due to the need for an environment that allows for the creation of more discerning games. We’ve interviewed Hirofumi Nakaoka, lead character artist for RE7, about the human resources and development environment sought by the company.

The Amount of Calories That Can Be Poured Into Each Character Varies

Hirofumi Nakaoka (仲岡 博史) was the lead character artist in RE7. He is a digital artist from Tokyo with 9 years of experience who transferred over to Capcom due to his love for zombies. “I changed jobs during my second year of employment, but I got used to the change pretty quickly.” says Nakaoka. “I don’t really feel any barriers from newcomers or transfers when I look around. I don’t have time to make walls around myself, so people around myself tend to talk with open frankness and we all become pretty close. From a company-wide perspective, only half of our employees are from the Kansai region and the number of foreign creatores are increasing as well.”

What Capcom wants is “a passion for creating games” is the first thing that Nakaoka says in blunt terms.

“As the scale of game development increases, the need to create prettier games that require less rework increases.” says Nakaoka. “However, people cannot control their inner urges, even when they’re receiving instructions from above. There are ideas from all over the place and people who seemingly want to realize them.” As Nakaoka points out, cooperation, character and technology are of course essential, but more importantly it is important for people to have some passion and not be too divided in their jobs.

The Whopper made a shocking debut in Resident Evil 6, the previous entry in the series. A morbidly obese zombie also known as the “XL size” within the game. Top: the first piece of concept art depicting a creature that is too large to enter a door. Bottom left: Finalized concept art. Bottom right: Official CGI.

In fact, Nakaoka said that during the development of RE6, he wanted to make a large obese zombie. He was entrusted with the design and modelling of the enemy, which led to the birth of the so-called “Whopper” enemy character.

The Molded, a new creature introduced in RE7, was also a daring new character concept that was created from full-scratch at a time when 3D scanning is becoming more commonplace. “There was no material to use as a reference so we created [the Molded] from scratch. I think that’s what makes our company unique.”

Molded, a new creature that appears in RE7. Creature from complete scratch without any photoscanning. An enemy representative of the game that gave players trouble even in the demo version of the game. “It was a difficult character to create” says Nakaoka. “But as someone familiar with the series’s setting, I think it fits quite well.”

Aiming for video quality that approaches the quality of overseas VFX movies in real-time

Cooperation with partner companies is now required in order to reduce labor cost in the large scale of game development. In response, Capcom has opened two development studios in Osaka City, with plans to hire over 2,500 developers.

“To create a high-quality game, first we need a structure that allows for in-house development. Then we will cooperate on the necessary parts and manage our costs.” such is their policy.

In addition to recent graduates, Capcom is also actively recruiting mid-career veterans, with almost all the job posts available for high-end CGI artists and engineers.

“With the evolution of technology, we’re constantly switching between new tools.” says Mr. Nakaoka. “The RE Team in particular has a work chart that is optimized in a timely matter during development.”

When it comes to modelling, photoscanning is being used more frequently. For example, you can buy a hamburger, break the wrapping paper in a nice way, scan it, fix it and then use it in the game. In turn, if the final data format is preserved, the individuals will have the flexibility to use whatever tools they like.

Up to around 12 tools are used to create a single character model.

Upper left: a 3D-scanned model via Photoscan, a program which recreates in high-quality a solid object via photographs taken from various angles.

Upper right: Retopology with Zbrush.

Center left: Hair generated by the Ornatrix plug-in.

Bottom left: Detail fixing with Maya.

Bottom right: Real-time output with the Marmoset toolbag

Job applications from outside the videogame industry are more than welcomed, particularly experience with high-end pre-rendered movies. This is because knowledge in pre-rendered videos from the movie industry is required to create better real-time CGI. On the other hand, even mobile game artists can quickly catch up with the technology and tools if they have a solid foundation. In-house desining meetings and conference briefings are also frequently held and assistance to seminar attendees are also provided.

An in-house designing meeting (top), with a guidelines on how to design characters (bottom). Artists recruited from vocational schools tend to have lacking drawing skills compared to their skills with tool acquisitions and game development. For that reason, Capcom often holds lectures teaching their employees on how to draw. In addition, there are other various in-house seminars such as tool studying sessions and conference reports.

One of their features is their emphasis on an employee’s welfare and mental care. A superior takes care of and calls on the assignment of both, projects and positions. On one hand, employees are required to have a regular lifestyle. If an employee wishes to work overtime after 10PM, they must ask permission from their superior. “Despite the flexible workhours, we still value health overall.” says Nakaoka. “Perhaps that’s the one aspect that differs the most from the past.” A passion for creativity and a heart that governs you. Cool games are being created by a group of professional creators with backgrounds in creating not just videogames, but also from the live-action and animation industries.

Text by Kenji Ono

Photos by Yohei Onuma

[alittletournesol]

A super spooky night {SHINee/SuperM}

[In this story, the conditions and rights of the LGBTQ+ community in South Korea are completely altered to make same-sex marriage and adoption legally possible. An alternative universe I wish to become reality someday.]

Pairings: OnKey / JongHo Additional characters: kid!Taemin and kid!SuperM’ (except for Baekhyun)

A super spooky night

The clock shows half past five above the dining table when Kibum places the last small bat made of sugar paste on the tremendous cake. He spent his whole day off baking and drawing the most impressive dessert up, also with the help of his boyfriend for the past two hours. Both men take a few steps back to contemplate their work, holding their breath for a minute as if worried they might make the structure fall with just a sigh. But it stands.

Built with three round layers of different circumferences, the cake is all about black and purple homemade frosting. Every decoration is made of almond or sugar paste shaped to represent various characters from a famous animated movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas. The “icing on the cake” actually has nothing to do with icing ; it’s a massive, round bubble of white chocolate with sculpted holes that create the face of Jack Skellington.

Kibum is particularly proud of this part of the cake, for it took him four tries before reaching this impressive result. He had to look for some videos to get that special technic, so he could perfectly pour melted chocolate on a blown up balloon, let it harden with time before delicately sculpting the holes and remove the balloon without breaking the whole thing. The fourth result is perfect, placed on top of the cake and surrounded by little sugar pumpkins. It’s all ready.

“I thought we wouldn’t finish it in time.” Jinki comments, finally allowing himself to sit as he removes his apron. “What are you doing ?”

“Taking pictures of course !” His boyfriend replies as he draws his phone, his enthusiasm showing in the way his eyes sparkle. “That shit took me a day, I won’t let it be engulfed within ten minutes and be forgotten just like that.”

“Sure, but careful with those words once we’ll be there.”

“I’m always careful. Speaking of that, what time is it ?”

“Half past five, more or less. When are we expected ?”

“Half past six.”

“Shit.”

Ignoring Kibum’s laughter at his cursing word, the older man stands up and leaves the kitchen to take a quick shower. They barely have an hour to get dressed and show up at their appointment’s place, which sounds like an impossible mission. However, both men have a certain thing in common : they’re organized. Before time runs out, they’re both all clean from any trace of baking and wearing their costumes ; as they look at each other in the large mirror of their bedroom, Jinki can’t help but snort.

Since they started dating almost four years ago, they’ve been into couple clothes and items, but this year marks their first real couple outfit for this spooky occasion… and he definitely got scammed here. Standing next to him and adjusting his dragon-like horned headdress, Kibum looks stunning in his own version of Maleficent — the recent one, not the one from the very old movie. It has been an idea from their friends’ son, who thought from all of his five years of age that his uncle’s face somehow looked like the dark fairy’s.

The man had found the concept way too appealing to ignore it. That’s how and why he’s now standing proudly in front of the glass, his realistic and expensive costume fitting him as if he was the original character himself. He fully played the game, making his cheekbones look even higher and his jaw sharper by using an easy makeup method with silicon — he’d tried it numerous times before that day, to be sure he wouldn’t mess it up when time would come. And he didn’t.

“Can you remind me about the reason behind my costume ?” Jinki asks, drawing the other man out of his self-contemplation. “Didn’t you tell me that Maleficent has a whole people of her own kind ? Why am I just… a semi-crow and not one of them ?”

“She does, but the crow is more significant.” His boyfriend replies, always serious when it comes to a universe he loves. “The crow was like the part of her she was missing when she became the shadow of her former self. He helped her and always stood by her side, even when she technically didn’t need him anymore. There’s a long lasting affection between them, they’re like… partners in crime. And I wanted to see your handsome face so I went for the crow’s human version.”

“So… I’m your other half and handsome partner in crime ?”

“Exactly. See ? Perfectly fitting us.”

Smiling, Kibum steals the other man a gentle kiss and adjusts the collar of the latter’s black jacket, covered with feathers to remind of the bird. If there is something he loves to see, it’s Jinki wearing black clothes… which is rare, much to his displeasure. But this day, the older man is even wearing a quality wig to imitate the mid-length dark hair of the character, and damn, how good looking it makes him. His boyfriend is about to forget the real purpose of their costumes when his phone rings, interrupting his contemplation.

Cursing under his breath, he plunges his hand in Jinki’s pocket, surprising the latter, and takes his device.

“Yeah ?” He says when he picks up, the deep but loud voice on the other side extremely recognizable. “What are you saying, we’re not late yet. (…) We’re about to leave but don’t expect us to drive fast, we have a whole damn piece of art to preserve before it fills kids’ stomachs ! (…) Alright, see you there. I’m hanging up.”

As soon as he isn’t hearing his best friend’s voice anymore, the horned man makes a face and sticks his tongue out towards his phone, making his partner laugh. Before they’re really running late, they both head to the kitchen to carefully place a huge glass bell cover above the cake, with small metallic ties on its edge to keep it attached to the plate. Thanks to his work in the fashion industry, Kibum sure has a lot of contacts in this world, but he got lucky enough to be in love with a man who, unlike him, knows professionals chefs personally. He has been lent this high cloche to cover and protect their dessert during the short travel from their house to the school.

Once everything is ready and safe, they lift the cake together to place it on a low trolley and pull their coats on before pushing it out of their apartment. They quietly thank some higher entity for equipping their flat with an elevator as they’re being taken to the private parking lot in the basement. With one last, careful effort, they place the imposing stuff on one of the backseats, even fastening the belt on it. While Kibum takes place next to it to hold it just in case, Jinki takes the wheel and finally, they leave.

On the road, the younger man sends a message to his friend, warning him that they’re on their way and will join them within ten minutes. He smiles when he receives a picture of an excited little boy as an answer, the kid wearing fake fangs that gives him a terrific smile… softened by the way he places his arms above his head to shape a heart.

“Taemin is a vampire this year.” He says, more to himself but loud enough to be heard by his boyfriend. “And I think one of the kids is a ghost, I can see a piece of white sheet on the picture.”

“How many kids will be there, again ?” Jinki asks, mentally trying to count.

“Six with him. Seven if you add Minho.”

“Oh please.”

The driver can’t help but laugh, this constant game between these two adults never failing to amuse him despite how old it’s growing. Kibum and Minho have known each other for more than fifteen years and their friendship only grew stronger by time passing ; though, just like when they were teens, not one day goes by without one of them sending some random attack at the other. At first, Jinki had been startled by this strange behaviour but he quickly got used to it as he spent more and more time in their company.

It’s actually by means of knowing Minho through a few classes in common at university that the older man got to meet the man he now calls his boyfriend. And as if heaven had wanted to kill two birds with one stone, Jinki had been the one introducing his classmate to his own childhood friend during an outing, Jonghyun. Since then, the four young men had become inseparable… and while Kibum had asked Jinki out, Minho had found himself disconcerted by how he had been asked the same by Jonghyun only a couple weeks after.

Years passed and they’re now grown adults, reaching the age of thirty one after another. But time hasn’t altered their friendship, nor their respective love relationships ; the first couple is living under a same roof, as they bought their very first apartment two years ago and got engaged a few months after. If they took their time and planned their wedding for this winter, their friends had tied the knot immediately after leaving university. Their family had quickly been joined by a baby, not even five months old, who had looked at them in the eyes at the adoption agency.

The orphan little boy found two loving, caring parents in the persons of Jonghyun and Minho, who raised him from then. Taemin, as is his name, is a cheerful and always smiling child who makes his dads’ happiness and never misses the chance to overwhelm his soul uncles with his catching laughter. He turned five only a few months ago and is becoming more and more interested in life’s little things, which makes him even more adorable.

Though the first days of separation were difficult for his oldest dad, he’s now going to preschool and enjoying every ounce of it. Kibum remembered his friends’ worries about the matter, since the little boy isn’t of the calm and obedient kind… however, it seems he understood pretty well that school and home are two different environments. For this new school year, he is even showing a new quality of his : patience. His school opened a special class to welcome three foreign children who must improve their Korean, and in order not to make them feel excluded or different, their young teacher managed to bring three native kids in their class.

This is how Taemin is now one of the six students of a small class bringing children from three to five years old. Minho used to fear that the extra attention paid to the three foreigners by their teacher would annoy his son, but his husband was clear about it : it would actually be rewarding. And sure it is, the boy is showing a lot of patience when he is trying to communicate with his classmates who only know the basics of his language for now — even the youngest one is brilliantly improving from all of his three years of age, a talkative one.

Tonight is the first time Kibum and Jinki meet their nephew’s friends, though they already caught sight of them when they occasionally got requested by their friends to pick the kid up from school. The only one they know by name is Jongin, a shy-looking boy who tends to transform himself when being in Taemin’s presence. Both adults feel excited and apprehensive at the same time, for they never spent time with so many children at once…

“We’re there, should I park where teachers park ?” The oldest man draws his fiancé out of his thoughts. “I don’t think it’s open.”

“It’s not but Minho gave me a beeper, I put it in your pocket.” Kibum replies as he takes the gadget from the feathered clothes himself and presses the button. “There you go.”

“Why does he even have a beeper ?”

“The teacher gave him a spare one for tonight, I guess I’ll have to give it back.”

Jinki makes the car slowly move forwards, driving in the parking lot until he recognizes his friends’ vehicle and parks next to it. Once he cuts off contact, he’s the first one to get out and goes to open the boot, taking the folded trolley and giving it his real shape back. He’s about to open the back door when he’s stopped by his boyfriend, who got out through the other door. The semi-crow is told to keep his “clumsy little hands” in his pockets and just giggles as he keeps an eye on the way Kibum is delicately taking the cake out of the car.

They’re not even done placing it on the trolley that they hear a way too familiar voice yelling, growing louder by milliseconds passing. Both men look up and have the reflex to shout “freeze !” to make Taemin stop in his race like for the game they often play. The boy laughs but respects the rule and even poses weirdly to make the thing funnier ; Jinki smiles and makes sure the dessert is safe before he crouches and stretches his arms, welcoming his nephew with a hug.

“Don’t bite me, I wanna live !” He whines before making Taemin move backwards, holding his arms to look at him. “How scary you are, are those real teeth ?!”

“Daddy said to say yes so yes the toothies are real ones !” The boy replies, lisping a bit, before he stands in awe when he sees his other uncle. “Woah ! You look like the real one !”

“That’s the secret, kiddo.” Kibum winks at him before he crouches in his turn, whispering at the kid’s ear. “I am the real one.”

“Stop lying ~”

Their nephew is still laughing and inspecting Maleficent’s horns on his uncle’s head when the three of them are eventually joined by an incredible person. Both men have to look twice before they recognize the man wearing a long, grey toga with shattered tails, his skin painted in a sick-looking shade of grey and his usually blonde hair raised on his head… sprayed with a blazing blue colour.

“Jonghyun, is that you ?” Kibum opens his eyes wide before bursting into laughter. “How the hell did you make your hair stand like that !”

“Lots of gel.” Taemin’s father says before hugging his friends. “Look at us, Bum. Hades and Maleficent, two dark villains !”

“Dark and sarcastic, for sure you chose well.” Jinki comments as he grants the kid’s request and holds him on his hip. “Are we late ?”

“Not at all, the teacher was about to tell the rules and Minho is busy putting make up on one of the children. Taemin, you’re old enough to walk by yourself so get back on your feet. Uncle is old you know.”

“Oh really ? Taeminnie, let’s show your dad I’m not old. Let’s race !”

“Yeeeeeeees !”

The boy keeps screaming as he’s being put on the ground and starts running towards the school, followed by a giggling adult losing black feathers on his way. Remaining alone in the parking lot, Jonghyun and Kibum roll their eyes and laugh together, as the latter closes the car and pushes the trolley. Led by the eldest one, both men peacefully reach the building and head directly to the kitchens where a fridge was emptied beforehand to welcome the cake. Carefully, they place it in the cool and finally join the only lively classroom in the whole place.

The room is small, for it’s made to welcome only six children, but it’s nicely arranged. The desks are gathered to make one big table with six chairs around it, two on each side so students sit by pairs. The last side is empty but overlook the board so it would have been stupid to place people here. In a corner, there are a few small shelves filled with books for every age, and comfortable couches and mats on the floor ; Kibum smiles, remembering his own hometown’s preschool that had a similar calm space in each classroom.

But the place is far from being calm at this moment, half a dozen of kids expressing their joy and excitement by running here and there, making the most of their costumes. Only one is sitting without moving, and the horned man holds on his laughter when he sees his tall best friend so focused on the white skull he is painting on the kid’s face. Minho is so busy he doesn’t even notice his friends arrived, but the latter surely notices his costume : a well-done monster of Frankenstein, with old rags as clothes, scars drawn on random spots of his body and fake nut and bolts popping out of his head and neck.

“Good evening, you must be Mr. Kim ?” A young man dressed as an enchanter with night blue clothes welcomes Kibum with a bow and a smile. “I am Mr. Byun, teacher to this little bunch of kids.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I think you met my partner once ?” The other man returns the greetings. “He picks Taemin up sometimes.”

“Oh, yes. I had to speak with him once because his nephew had fought a little that day. But let’s not talk about school tonight, we’re here to have fun after all !”

“That’s right, and I’m done with everyone’s makeup !” Minho speaks in as he approaches the men talking while wiping his hands. “Look at you, how comes you’re always giving your utmost with Halloween costumes ?”

“Halloween is my time of the year, dear.” Kibum laughs, giving his friend a hug. “I see you’ve been busy, did you help every kid ?”

“Yup ! They came with only their costumes in a bag so everything was done here. How long did we take to get everything ready, Baekhyun ?”

“Two hours I would say.” The teacher replies, glancing at the window while the newcomer gets surprised at the sudden informal talk. “But the sun is setting now so we should get started.”

Saying this, the young man claps his hands a few times to gather the six kids, who immediately stop their races and games to sit on their respective chair — Jinki, who sneakily joined his boyfriend’s side, shows him how each chair has a name written on its back. The two couples remain quiet as they watch Baekhyun explain the rules to respect once they will be outside for their sweets hunt. All children are looking at him, paying attention and showing their best side. Jonghyun and Minho can’t help but stare at their son with pride, although Taemin isn’t that calm and silent when they’re home.

When the teacher is done, Kibum starts moving as he expects the hunt to start, but he’s surprised by a language he doesn’t know. Looking up with raised eyebrows, he realizes Baekhyun is repeating himself while looking at a particular kid dressed as a ghost — quite tall for his age, his doe eyes staring at the adult’s lips.

“This one is Yukhei.” Minho slightly leans on to whisper to his best friend’s ear, Jinki listening as well. “He is from Hong Kong but he arrived only three months ago so he can’t understand Korean  yet, except basics salutations and a couple of questions you ask a teacher during class.”

“I see…” His elder nods. “How old is he ? He’s tall…”

“He’s four years old.”

“You’re kidding ?”

“I was the same when I was his age, it doesn’t really bother me. Jonghyun is bothered.”

“I’m not.” The flaming blue haired man retorts though he keeps looking at the kids.

“So… Kibum told me there are three foreign kids ?” Jinki asks. “Who are the other two ?”

The oldest man just has time to finish his question when Baekhyun switches languages again, this time looking at the boy who chose to be dressed as a particularly notorious clown — Pennywise, character from a not-really-for-children movie. This makes Kibum frown.

“Does he know the clown he’s dressed as ?” He can’t help but ask. “I almost pissed my pants watching that movie and I’m twenty-seven, don’t tell me he knows about it ? What is he, four ?”

“Five, and he only asked me to paint his face like a clown in a horror movie.” His tall friend laughs. “He doesn’t really know what I did to him, but I’m glad you recognized the character. I might have some talent.”

“Sure, Frankenstein. How did he ask, since the teacher is talking to him in another language ?”

“He’s been here for two years now so he speaks a bit more than basic Korean. Enough to ask me something without stuttering ! He’s doing well but he’s already bilingual, he speaks English.”

“That explains why the teacher is speaking in English now…” The crow man wonders. “Why not the kid’s mother tongue ?”

“He is from Thailand, but Baekhyun doesn’t speak thai so. I would love to tell you his name but I can’t memorize it. Taemin calls him Ten, and the other kids too.”

Both men nod and keep listening to Baekhyun, who’s lifting his fingers one after another as he announces the rules to the kid nicknamed Ten. Kibum mentally bets on the next and last kid he will addresses… but finds himself completely wrong. The young teacher crouches before the smallest, and certainly the youngest kid of the group and asks him if he understood what he just told his classmate. The child seems to hesitate but he eventually shakes his head, what makes the adult smile and repeat his words, in English as well. Slowly, using hands gestures as well.

“English again ?” Jinki raises his eyebrows.

“Mark is Canadian.” Jonghyun replies, beating his husband to it. “But he’s only three so even in his mother tongue, it’s still a bit difficult. Even more when he’s also learning Korean.”

“Three years old… is it good for him to be in this class ?”

“More than you think, because since he’s learning two languages at the same time, it’s better for him to be in a smaller class with few other kids who also are in his case, than in a big group with only kids who talk better, if I can say.”

“You got a point.” Kibum agrees. “He’s so cute, look at him pouting while listening…”

“Taemin is taking this habit, he thinks it will work the same with us and we will give him everything he wants.” Minho quietly laughs. “He wanted to have red eyes to go with his costume and when we explained him that he was way too young for lenses, he just pouted, thinking we would give in to him.”

“And then he said that uncle Kibum would let him, so we were mean parents for around ten minutes.” Jonghyun adds, smiling.

“Since the day I bought him an ice cream behind your back, he thinks I would give him absolutely everything without you knowing.” Their friend rolls his eyes with a smile. “I don’t know if he’s smart or a cute dummy.”

Before they can go on with their not so discreet conversation, the four adults get interrupted by Baekhyun clapping his hands once as he’s done with his speech. The six kids get up all together and go to the low coat rail next to the door, putting their jackets on — with their teacher’s permission, they keep it open so their costume isn’t hidden. The couples smile at the way two kids quickly offer their help to their youngest friend, the little Mark struggling to slip his small coat on because of his pumpkin costume.

“We’re ready to go.” Baekhyun tells his fellow adults as he catches his keys. “Kids must stay all together during the whole outing, but I’m not worried, they have no struggle sticking together.”

“We’ll just make sure they don’t run everywhere.” Jonghyun replies. “Do they have bags ?”

“Yes, I bought some. They have each a pumpkin shaped bag so there’s no jealousy !”

“Excellent.”

Following the teacher’s instructions, Jinki and Minho leave the classroom and wait at the school’s door. While Jonghyun and Kibum will bring up the rear, the six children catch their respective bag and line up by pairs, holding hands — this cute show causes a nervous giggle from the Hades-dressed man.

“Don’t forget, while we’re outside, you keep your friend’s hand in yours !” Baekhyun reminds the kids before letting them leave the classroom two by two, pretending to count them to keep the habit. “Taemin and Jongin, check ! Taeyong and Mark, check ! Yukhei and Ten, check ! We’re free to go.”

The last two adults follow them, switching the lights off, and the whole group is finally heading to their mischievous sweets hunt.

__________________________

Half an hour passed and the streets are full of children wearing various costumes, their adult relatives not always playing this game but showing their involvement in other ways. For sure, the joyfully spooky group wandering with five grown adults disguised for the occasion and six kids blathering around them draws people’s attention. Among them, Jonghyun and Kibum definitely catch a few children’s eye, to the point they even took pictures with perfect strangers… making their own bunch of monsters jealous.

But these little mishaps are quickly forgotten as the pumpkin shaped bags are getting filled more and more by time passing. People opening their doors always come with their hands full of sweets, some with homemade pastries containing pumpkin or lollipops with ghosts, bats or spiders shapes. What makes the school’s group more special is the way three voices stand out when shouting the famous trick or treats, their respective accent or light pronunciation mistakes easy to hear. It only moves whoever they visit to ask for their sweet treasure, the cute little Mark often getting an extra piece.

But night is falling and it becomes darker outside, which forces the teacher to gather his students and keep them around to always have an eye on them. If they were given some freedom at the beginning, though they were well watched, it isn’t possible anymore and Baekhyun earns some pouts and whines in return. Fortunately, a simple stare from him added to Jonghyun and Minho’s quiet, disapproving look is enough for all children to stop any attempt of protesting. It is announced that they will resume their hunt for twenty more minutes before heading back to the school, and it’s Kibum who soothes the sudden tensed atmosphere.

“Kids, what’s with those faces ?” He asks, crouching to be at their eyes’ level. “It’s like a race, isn’t it ? Let’s gather as many sweets we can within twenty minutes, then you will all be rewarded by the biggest cake you’ve ever seen !”

“Cake ?” Yukhei’s eyes seem to light up as he perfectly understood that word.

“Yes, a cake I made especially for you, but it grew a head on our way to the school ! What if we spend too much time outside and it grows legs ? And runs away ?”

“Oh no !” Jongin and Taemin cry out, making the adults giggle since they’re the oldest children in the group, yet the most oblivious about the trick.

“See ?” Jonghyun smiles while he leans on to wipe some dirt on his son’s cheek — how did he even get it ? “We must be fast if we don’t want the cake to escape. So no more talking, it’s wasting time ! Go, fetch some more candies !”

The previous disappointment makes space for a whole new excitement, five little heads bouncing away as they start running to another house. Despite him calling them back to respect the rule, Baekhyun finds himself completely out of the picture ; as he follows them close, he’s joined by Minho who tends to have a well-needed authority on all these kids. The only child who doesn’t follow is Mark, the boy holding his bag of candies with both his small hands and yawning.

“Are you alright, sweetheart ?” The Hades-dressed man asks him, making the kid look up at him with innocent eyes.

“You okay ?” Kibum asks in his turn, choosing English and pointing at the bag. “Want me to hold this ?”

“Ho’d me pwease.” Mark answers as he stretches his arms towards the horned man and drops his treasure.

Surprised at first, the adult hesitates but is quickly defeated by the child’s adorable pout ; instead of taking him in his arms, he crouches and lets Jinki place Mark on his shoulders.

“Hold there.” The oldest man says as he motions the boy’s hands to the horns. “Don’t let them go !”

Once the kid is safe and resting on Kibum’s shoulders, his little face fitting perfectly between the horns with his chin on the top of the adult’s head, the latter’s boyfriend picks the bag up and puts some fallen sweets inside before the four of them join the group of monsters threatening neighbors with evil tricks and laughters. Although one of the children isn’t with his friends, Taeyong is always making sure to ask for extra candies, showing their younger classmate behind with his polite hand to prove he’s not asking for himself.

The twenty minutes go by rather quickly, neither the kids nor the adults realizing it. At some point, Minho is holding Ten on his back and Yukhei’s hand in his, while the other three are still way too excited to stay still. It’s almost chaos, but the return to school isn’t as bad as it could have been. The five men manage to make the whole group walk back without even telling them it’s the way back. It’s only when they recognize the building’s yellow door and stickers on the windows that they understand.

Before any of them can protest, Baekhyun opens the door and calls each of their name, telling them that to enter they must show their treasure. He pretends to inspect the bags’ content and to hesitate to let some enter… what makes them even more eager to actually go inside. Eventually, they’re all back in the classroom, sitting around the gathered tables and showing each other their finds. During the meantime, Minho and Jinki bring an extra table for all adults to fit — though they must sit on the floor since it’s quite low.

Within a few minutes and before some of the kids can start bickering about their respective amount of candies, their improvised dinner arrives on the table and leaves them in awe. It’s only a few sandwiches, but cut in pieces that form the shapes of several Halloween creatures and objects — pumpkins, bats, witches’ hats or ghosts. The flavors are different to suit everyone’s taste, and both kids and adults don’t need to be asked twice before they start devouring whatever is under their reach.

The whole table is a joyful mess of chit-chat and sharing of food among the children ; Taeyong keeps grabbing new pieces of sandwiches and gives them to his friends before taking one for himself, which touches the adults’ hearts. So young and already so caring… while Taemin is literally kneeling on his chair and almost throwing his body on the table to catch what he wants, to the despair of his parents.

“Are you behaving like that at home ?” Minho frowns at him, making his son immediately sit properly and offer both his open hands so his father can give him the sandwich he wants. “That’s better, eat well. Babe, what do you want ?”

“I’m saving myself for later, don’t mind me.” Jonghyun smiles, though he blushes at the way he’s called by his husband in front of so many people. “Eat, I’m waiting for the cake.”

“Yah, will you ask me what I want ?” Kibum suddenly teases his boyfriend, the latter immediately straightening up and swallowing his own food. “No, Jinki, I’m kiddi—”

“There, a whole plate for you !” Jinki offers him a few pieces at once and pouring water in his glass. “Want more, baby ?”

“You asked for it, why are you even blushing.” The tallest man laughs heartily, nudging his best friend whose face turned red.

“Can I have ?”

Mark’s sudden intervention as he pokes Kibum’s arm and points at a sandwich is welcomed with quite a relief from the latter. The horned man immediately grants the kid’s request and makes sure to give him all the attention he needs to forget about his annoying friends — sometimes he hates himself for indeed asking for it and not owning up to what he’s done. He’s so sweating after a few minutes that he makes the huge mistake to remove his headdress and scares the youngest children, what obviously is another occasion for him to be kindly mocked by his friends.

He finds a way to escape and breathe some fresh air when no more sandwich can be seen on the table and it’s thus time for dessert. As he stands up and heads to the kitchen, Jinki following him to lend a hand and stealing him some kisses to make up for earlier, all kids pile their plates up and put all rubbish in one, just like they’re taught at the canteen. As soon as they’re done, they can’t help but stand gaping with their eyes sparkling, when the trolley with the cake finally makes its entrance.

In fact, it’s the biggest cake they’ve ever seen ! And just like Kibum said, there is a big head on the top !

“It didn’t grow legs !” Taemin shouts with his tiny, excited voice as he applauds, imitated by his classmates.

“No, it didn’t !” Jinki smiles. “That’s because you went fast earlier, it didn’t have time. It takes almost an hour to grow two legs !”

“Woah, that’s long !” Jongin widens his eyes and stares at his own legs. “Mine are short, I think it wasn’t as long.”

As soon as Taemin answers his best friend, adults know it’s a lost case ; they take advantage of the smart-like discussion that has all other kids staring at the two talking, to cut the cake. It’s quite a hard task, for the dessert is big and its creator wants each child to have a similar portion to avoid jealousy. It takes a few minutes but every plate is eventually filled with a big slice of cake, a few sugar paste characters and a part of the white chocolate skull. Naturally, adults get a bigger portion but it doesn’t seem to bother the kids.

They’re too busy covering their chin and cheeks with sugar and chocolate, filling their mouths before they even empty them. Just like them, Jonghyun is not hiding himself behind his “responsible parent’s status” anymore, as he devours the cake like he hasn’t eaten anything in weeks.

“I still can’t reduce his sugar consommation.” Minho sighs, pretending to be out of patience. “How can I make Taemin understand why he can’t eat so much sugar if I have this person doing the opposite ? How ?”

“You’re exaggerating, I only eat candies when he doesn’t look.” His husband retorts, filling his mouth again. “It’s too good.”

“I can grant you that. It’s really good, but damn… must have been long to bake that.”

“Tell me about it !” Kibum laughs. “I got up at eight to do the groceries and started baking right after I got home. I’ve been in the kitchen all day long, it’s a relief that Jinki came back from work early.”

“You were almost done when I came to help.” The latter smiles, rarely comfortable when being praised. “My part was only the decoration.”

“It’s a success, that’s for sure.” Baekhyun comments, showing the kids. “Though I don’t know if we’ll finish it today. Do you mind if we keep it in the fridge and I’ll serve the rest tomorrow for dessert ?”

“Of course I don’t ! It’s better here than at my place, we’re supposed to be on a sugar diet.”

“Teach Jonghyun, please.”

Minho’s comment was welcomed by a gentle hit on his shoulder, his husband frowning and his cheeks filled with cake — which made the whole scene laughable. All adults keep talking, giving the children a bit of freedom as they’re done eating ; they wander around the classroom, playing with the available toys or digesting in a calm way. It was quite a big day for them, tiredness starting to make its presence felt as the clock shows half past eight.

It’s at around that time that the kids’ parents are supposed to come fetch them, and Baekhyun keeps alert to hear the intercom. As a way to wait and also to thank the four men for their help, he offers them a cup of coffee to finish this great dinner. Minutes flow by, the teacher occasionally standing up to go to the front door, letting a parent — or two — enter and come to the classroom. Jonghyun, Minho, Kibum and Jinki receive a lot of thanks for their volunteer job, letting Taemin’s parents know that he is always welcomed at their place for a sleepover.

The room is slowly getting empty, and while Jonghyun is holding his son against him, the latter feeling sleepy and sucking on his thumb as he’s being rocked, the other three men help with the cleaning. Taeyong is the last kid to leave and only Jongin remains since he’s sleeping at his best friend’s home tonight. Once everything is as new, more or less, it’s time for everyone to go home and get a well deserved rest. Minho struggles a bit to get Taemin dressed with his coat, the boy half sleeping in his other dad’s arms and not really responsive.

When they’re all warmly dressed and standing in the hallway, Jonghyun holding his now asleep son and his husband keeping the other boy’s hand in his, Baekhyun respectfully bows to express his gratitude.

“The kids really enjoyed this little party.” He says. “It wouldn’t have been possible without you so I thank you with all my heart. They’re working so hard during school days, I’m glad they could have this break for such a good occasion.”

“There is no need to thank us.” Jinki answers, smiling. “We had fun too.”

“They’re all adorable, it was nice being here.” Kibum nods. “Don’t hesitate if you ever need help again, I’m not sure we can be available but you can always ask.”

“I will. And I might see you again, if you ever come for Taemin at the end of a day ?”

“Certainly !”

“We will go, now.” Minho says, a tint of mischief in his eyes. “Should we expect another little party once we get closer to Christmas ?”

Laughing, Baekhyun puts his finger against his lips to keep the secret, before he leads his guests to the back door. With one last goodbye and bow, they separate and head to the parking lot. Taemin and Jongin get in the first car, sitting well in their car seat — there is always a spare one in case — and the adults hug each other.

“Thanks for coming.” Jonghyun says as he hugs Kibum. “It was really good, you didn’t have to do so much though.”

“It was my pleasure, don’t worry.” The other man winks at his friend. “And I was sure it wouldn’t only please the kids so I’m proud.”

“Do you want to come over this Saturday evening ?” Minho asks. “It’s been a while since we had dinner together.”

“Hmm… Alright, but I’m bringing the dessert.”

“That’s fine with me !”

“Perfect. Go, you’ll catch a cold, standing here. See you, text me when you’re home.”

“Yes dad.”

Shaking his head, the tallest man gets in the car, imitated by his husband who takes place behind the wheel. Both Jinki and his fiancé get in their and they leave all together. On their way, Kibum looks at the few pictures he took on his phone during the whole evening, never missing an occasion to make precious memories with his nephew — and tonight, with five other kids he kinda wants to see again sometimes.

“I will send this one to Mr Byun.” He says, showing a picture of all kids with their treasure to his boyfriend when they stop at a red light. “It would be great if he can hang it in the classroom.”

“Send it to Jonghyun too, he will like it.” Jinki smiles, hitting the road again once the light turns green. “Did you have fun ?”

“Yes, lots of fun. You didn’t talk much, though.”

“I enjoy things rather quietly, you know that. But I will certainly come forward if we’re being invited again. These kids are really kind.”

“Did you see how the little one always came to me ? I thought I was going to melt.”

“Does it make you want to have a child of your own ?”

“I’ve wanted one for a while, even since Taemin arrived in our life… But let’s get married before, okay ?”

“Of course, love. And until then, we might see these five again for Christmas… who knows ?”

“Who knows…”

Smiling, Kibum keeps looking at his phone during the whole way back. Even when they get home, he tells his fiancé that he will join him in the living room later, as himself goes to his room. There, he takes his tablet and stylus, sending himself the picture of the children and opening his favourite editing application. Meticulously, he decorates the sober photography by drawing Halloween ornaments here and there, without making it too overbearing.

He makes sure to write each kid’s name above their head or under their feet: Taemin the vampire, Jongin the skeleton, Taeyong the cute Darth Vader, Ten the terrific but adorable Pennywise, Yukhei the ghost and Mark the little pumpkin. He then notices the perfect empty space on top of the picture.

There, after a long reflection, he finds the words he wants. After he put the date in the bottom right-hand corner, he writes a title in a funny font that suits the occasion : “A super spooky night”.

End

[posseideux]

Why My Candy Love died, and why it matters

(half-assedly written by Gemini Charlie)

If you were a twelve year old girl in 2010, you’ll probably remember those ads for a game called “My Candy Love”. Flirt with the boy of your dreams! they said. It looked to be the perfect game, especially for the ones of us getting into anime and manga, due to its heavily anime inspired style and feel. You might still follow this game, like many of the original players do to this day.

Now let me tell you, I was an active participant in this fandom for a very long time. I still have the first 3 tomes of the manga(even if their quality is less than absimol) and I got the first artbook when it came out. I loved this game with all of my might, and I wanted to create something similar when I grew up. For a while I was also one of the annoying people who screamed betrayal at every new thing I didn’t like(we’ll get to that) and when they announced the new version of the game, Campus Life, I was thrilled. Something like MCL but more mature! It just had to be good… but why is it not?

First, let’s start with how most of us discovered My Candy Love: Imagine you, at the ripe age of eleven years old. You’re probably playing a dress up game, or just a standard game on Y8 or Coolmathgames. Then, you see this ad: It’s pink, it’s shiny, and it has three beautiful boys: A red haired hottie, and blonde smart one, and a beautiful, charming white-haired man. Flirt with them all, it tells you. And just like that, click! and you’re in.

Chances are you probably named yourself something like EmoQueen, or xX_beautykills_Xx, because that’s just how the internet was back then. You started up the game, and ever since, every day of the many years to come, you would log back in. Months upon months were spent searching for the students in Sweet Amoris High School, looking to finish the ridiculous missions of this game. Or perhaps you spent hours upon hours chatting up with other fans of the game on the forums about whatever was popular at the time. Whichever it was, you loved that darn game, and you would play it even after it was finished!

But really take the time to think about it. Was My Candy Love really that good? The writing was stiff, the characters were stereotypical or empty at best. Why did we love this game that was clearly not written with that much love or talent? Let me direct you to a critic that I believe most of you know: the Nostalgia Critic. If you have no clue of who he is, he is a movie critic(somewhat) who makes videos about old but popular movies and all the bad stuff that’s in them. Now, of course, the Critic didn’t say anything about My Candy Love, that would be kind of odd considering his main audience, but we can learn a thing or two about one of his videos, the one about Hocus Pocus, to be exact.

In it, the Critic talks about how Halloween culture loves Hocus Pocus, which wouldn’t hold up in our current culture because it’s not that good, but because they watched it as kids it has a certain charm. I think the same happened with My Candy Love. We all loved it as twelve year old girls, but now that we know better, we can clearly see that, well… it’s pretty horrible.

The “high schoolers” don’t really act like teenagers, neither do they look the part, and the story has no conflict or interesting things to say. Despite that, we all loved it. And, if you’re like me, you still kind of do.

The problem is, it is so anchored in our childhoods that all of its flaws are okay. To this day, I still like the fact that the story is kind of ridiculous and out of touch. I like the stereotypes and the almost fantasy-like vision of high school. But then, something happened: The writers delved into serious matters. Badly.

Here is a writing lesson for you: Find a tone, and stick to it. If your story is supposed to be funny, you can’t just go full serious out of nowhere. If your story is serious, you can’t just go and slap a comic relief on that bad boy and expect it to go well. My Candy Love was always an unrealistic, romance-based game with no real plot, but with the last few episodes, the tone changed completely from dumb to dull.

For example, after a few chill episodes of theater and romance, you are hit with a new episode: Nathaniel, the blonde one, has been going through physical abuse from his father, and you have to help him. Huh, that’s new. Remember, the game, up to this point, has been pretty ridiculous and not serious at all. To me, this episode felt like those PSAs from the 90s trying to get you not to take marijuana while having Bugs Bunny tell you so. It just felt weird.

And after that, they didn’t stop: Blackmail, dating apps, condoms, STDs… all written with about as much grace as a naked man covered in lube trying to walk on ice. And that, my friends, started what I would call the downfall of this game.

Episode 40 came out. The characters graduated, your main character is happy in her relationship, and the end? You get laid… and that’s it. If you’ve ever tried to write an emotional scene or a good ending to a long story, you would know that it’s really hard to do so well and get all of the side stories well closed and done. So, considering the fact that this game is written like a twelve year old girl’s fanfiction(how fitting), you can assume how horrible the ending was. Why was it so bad? Campus Life.

I’m not gonna make you sit through the whole last episode, because it’s long and boring, but here is how it ends: You’re in bed with your lover, and your MC reflects about the future and what’s to come. Then, it cuts to a “some years later” shot, with a new school, where the main character is older and having a conversation about her last year of university with her former best buddy from high school. And, just like that, you are invited to continue your adventure to University.

Great! You think to yourself. There are so many possibilities for cool stuff in Uni, it’s gonna be ridiculous and beautiful, I bet! But no, of course it’s not. Remember how the original game was good because of how bad it was? Well, this game isn’t horrible, but it’s not good either, which makes it a thousand times worse.

Tommy Wiseau created The Room, a movie infamous for being so bad it’s actually really fun to watch and try to understand. Now, imagine if he came out with The Room 2, a completely okay written, realistic movie about the main character’s work. You watch it and… it’s horrible. But not the right kind, that is. That’s what Campus Life feels like: something that could have been great but is just bad instead, because the writers didn’t stick to the right tone.

Also, this game feels like it was pushed upon the players, which just makes most people want to dislike it, and it’s very easy to do so. The final episode of the real game, which is what I call it, ends in a hurry to make place for this serious, boring game that no one in their right mind would enjoy playing. In fact, CL didn’t just affect the last episode, it affected the last 10 to 15 episodes, because the writers tried to change the mood of the game to make it more serious to fit their sequel.

So, Campus Life ruined the ending of a game that could have been so much better(even if better means more ironically enjoyable) by trying to remove what made it so good. Because of that, no one wants to play the new game because the charm of My Candy Love is gone, and our love for it is dead.

The fandom might not be dead to some of you, but to me, this game has lost all of the charm that it once had, and it makes me sad to see so little care for the situation coming from the creators(and that’s a whole other problem). I loved this game to bits, and no, if you were wondering, I’m not going to play the new version, because it sucks, but it doesn’t suck as well as its former self. And that’s what made it so good in the first place.

Thank you for listening, the exits are at the back