#its a visual I really like (pun intended)

[bunnieswithknives]

The reality sets in too little too late. 

Obsessed with the idea of David killing Red with a pair of scissors that I got from @raspf

[m4rs-ex3]

s7 spoilers ✨✨

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ok

"death alive" fucking snipe me the insane death motif that seems to be present here is killing me pun intended

GRAAAHAHAHHGROWLS IM SO EXCITED I CAN TEVEN

"i don't want to be separated again"

"i don't want to be separated again"

stop it right tf now bc this is literally what i have been wanting one of them to say so badly. also smooch. dear christ

the fact that terry wants so badly for him and claudia to be free that he is pleading with fucking archmage aaravos himself. like ik they're partners in crime atp but still my guy has balls. the dedication. poor thing 😭

aaravos fucking leading claudia on with even more hope of viren being saved - his own backstory making the way he's manipulating her grief 10x more twisted - and terry seeing right through his bullshit..... im foaming at the mouth

fuckin.g- FOR ME?!?!?!?!?!?

CALLUM SOBBING OVER EZRAN??? (dreamer's nightmare was prepping us for this huh)

SOREN APOLOGIZING TO CALLUM?? (for what i do not know) EMOTIONAL CALLUM/SOREN HUG DEAR GOD ALL IVE EVER WANTED

the making of a primal stone, more moon magic, a quest for an ingredient, insane biblical imagery... once again, FOR ME??!?!?!?!??!

"AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!!"

NECROMANCY!! just what this show needed omg

astrid my love. i was a little worried post-s6/pre-date announcement that we really wouldn't see that much, if any, of the celestial elves, but oh ho ho i can't believe i ever doubted you tdp. like you're telling me that astrid is tired of watching, of being the wise observers (especially now that her own brother has been so far removed from, well, being a non-all-seeing prophet), and that all she wants is to, for once, do something about all the tragedy she knows is coming and hasn't been able to do anything about? christmas fucking morning i tell you

goddamn the true extent and emphasized tragedy of katolis has been brought up enough that you just know they're not messing around

NO STOP SEEING SARAI AND HARROW NEXT TO GROWN AND CURRENTLY FCUKED UP EZRAN IS GOING TO FUCKING DEMOLISH ME

obviously ez being angry is just wow omg teehee but just. immediately being so vengeful and wanting to "destroy him" with zero hang-ups is.......... yeah wow omg teehee

"it's great!" i genuinely trust that with my life

ok hello this will most certainly be the most incredible visual to ever exist holy shit. also this is making me realize that we've never actual seen ez on the throne in arc 2 and i mean that's insane enough

this is incredible what can i say. i can see it now: rayla shoving worms in his face like "JUST EAT THE FUCKING WORMS ITS GOOD FOR YOU ASSHOLE" and runaan fighting her like a toddler refusing to eat his vegetables (except it's the opposite bc it's a vegetarian father refusing to eat his grubs)

i love how out of touch aaravos is (makes sense after centuries underneath inside of a rock) bc in what world is this normal. i highly doubt they have snow white or the bible but still it's just human nature to be weirded tf out by that. also yes @zuppizup ur so right his affinity for fruit being played on is amazing

also corvus: yeah yeah uh huh right and what exactly is your name, sir? aaravos: ah yes my name! it's uh uhh i mean it's uhhhhhhhhhhh. jofus

TWO IN THE FIRST EPISODE (which worries me but anyhow) IN THE FORM OF A GOODBYE AND A REUNION AND IN FRONT OF EVERYONE TOO???? AS A TREAT??????????

i'm all for ezran ripping runaan to shreds but i can't exactly say i see the correlation here. although that is kinda funny. it's like when i can't find my phone or smth so i just look at my dog and go "whiskey did you eat it" (she's been asleep this whole time and also she has never eaten/chewed on an object in her life)

also help inigo montoya ahh

ok 1) i, much like everyone else, kinda presumed that the tension would mostly be between ezran and callum and he wouldn't really hold anything against rayla, but the act of straight up arresting him really makes me wonder how rayla's gonna react 2) i really need to see callum's reaction (mainly out of defending rayla, but also because i can see him kinda being like "HEY i JUST freed him bro fuck you") and 3) the way that it is emphasized that soren is the one to arrest him..... idk i just figured that between his love for rayla, his own daddy issues (+the fact that viren was the one to imprison him so it would kinda be like righting his wrong), and that harrow was in fact not his father so compared to ezran he'd have a lot less resentment (he was of course still his king and soren had to actually watch it so still some but like. comparatively) i didn't think he'd be this combative but i'm certainly not complaining. the more angst the merrier

AW YEAH BOYS SHES COMING TO KATOLIS!!!!!

this has been your incoherent, feral mars commentary.* thank you

[thegingerheed]

How DELTATRAVELER is the funniest UT fangame by complete accident.

Over the course of the past year, I've talked a ton about various UT/DR fan-projects and my thoughts regarding them and their writing. One fan-work I have talked extensively about on various forums and threads being DELTATRAVELLER. For a while, I didn't know exactly how to feel about this game. It felt like an enigma to me. 

The game was enjoyable to play, it was entertaining to read. Yet I could never get myself invested in anything regarding the game's narrative or characters. It was as if the game was unintentionally written to obliterate (pun entirely intended) any and all chances for narrative investment in its story and characters. What the game did have over me was that it had me in histersics for the majority of its runtime. Yet, paradoxically, none of the jokes written to be funny landed for me. For a while I didn't fully know why and how it made me feel about the game as a whole. How can you say you enjoyed  something a lot whilst also laughing at it and acknowledging that under any other circumstance, it wouldn't be something that you'd consider to be good?

Spoiler alert: I found that answer, which I will now be explaining to YOU in weirdly esoteric detail !!!

But before we start, let's start of with the basic premise of DELTATRAVELER for those not in the know. 

What is a "DELTATRAVELER"

DELTATRAVELER is a UT/DR fangame about Kris, Susie and Noelle being isekai'd from a Post-Chapter 2 DELTARUNE into the worlds of various different video games and UNDERTALE on a quest to find a way home. The game was inspired and made off the back of "GOD FUCKING damnit KRIS where the FUCK are we!?" which was a very popular meme at the time of DELTARUNE: Chapter 2's release. 

Like DELTARUNE, the game is divided and released in chapters (dubbed 'sections' by the devs). Each chapter is set in a different world and has the Shit Squad (The objectively best name for the heroes) explore, fight and eventually find that world's "grey door" which serves as the end goal for the chapter as that will take the Shit Squad to the next world after the boss of the chapter is complete. In total the game is slated to have eight total chapters with what they are based on being revealed in advanced:

Chapter 1: UNDERTALE 

Chapter 2: Earthbound

Chapter 3: GG!UNDERFELL

Chapter 4: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

Chapter 5: TS!UNDERSWAP

Chapter 6: Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story

Chapter 7: Toontown Online

Chapter 8: The Dark (the game's finale)

Currently as of this post, DELTATRAVELER is still a work in progress with Chapter 3 being released back in December. As a result all discussion of the game of the game will be on Chapters 1-3 as those are what's out right now.

I think I should preface this post with me saying, I don't think DELTATRAVELER is a bad game, quite the opposite, actually! I enjoyed my time with it.

Mechanically, the gameplay is really well done, the physics feel very on point to UT/DR, which is surprisingly rare for a lot of UT fan-games. It felt like I was playing UT/DR and was rewarded for the skills I had gained from the collective hundreds of hours I have played these games. 

Visually, I think it looks very solid and charming. Seeing various locales and characters from other games being translated into UT/DR's iconic, sometimes janky artstyle is always cool to see and it will be very interesting to see how games like A Link to the Past are adapted in future chapters.

Musically, I think the game is fine. The original songs in the OST doesn't have anything I'd point to as "bangers" but also doesn't have anything I thought was particularly hard to listen to (With the outlier maybe being Eye for an Eye. The obligatory Megalo for the Sans fight in the GG!UNDERFELL chapter. But even then, I wouldn't even call the song "bad". I just don't like it too much and that's fine! just how music taste works.)

But to get to the main point. The most intreasting thing about DELTATRAVELER to me, is the way the game is written which has proven to be quite the controversial topic within the broader fandom which is what I'll try to give an in-depth and nuanced disection of but to put a long story short, I don't think this game is written well. Most of the core issues I have with DELTATRAVELER's writing can be attributed to a single, fundamental flaw. That being how the game handles it's "tone"

Explaining Tone

In writing, Tone is a very multi-factor concept, working as the bedrock for a given work. To put it simply and cleanly, tone is basically "the vibes" of a given thing. Tone can come in a lot of different flavours. Whether that be the tone of a given scene, the work itself or even the tone of an entire series. Tone is important as keeping tone consistent with itself is one of the major factors in narrative investment. It essentially tells the audience what they can and can't expect from a work of fiction.

Let's use this as an example:

You're watching a movie, in the movie there's a scene involving the protagonist having an anvil inexplicably dropped on their head by the antagonist.

If this movie was a comedy for children and family, the tone of this scene would ensure that this be as funny a punchline as possible or the set up for a funny punchline. This expectation built by the previous events of the story shields the narrative and characters from anything that might be too ill-fitting for the "comedy for child and family tone" it's trying to go for. At most the protagonist could be expected to suffer from a Loney Toons-like knockout rather than ending in a hospital bed with a shattered skull. Or, at worst, splattered and crushed across the pavement in an intensely gruesome fashion. If that happened, it wouldn't pass the story's "vibe check" which can cause something that I'll be calling "Tonal Whiplash"

If you want an example of "Tonal Whiplash" and the effects it can have on the audience, look no further than Shadow the Hedgehog

This game, to be frank. Is fucking hilarious and this is in part due to the mere concept of the game about Shadow using a gun breaking the tone set series-wide by other Sonic games and media in the past. (Expect Sonic Adventure 2, that has similar issues to a lesser extent)

It takes a series about stopping egg-themed villain from ruling the world to trying to assassinate the president and watching as a innocent girl gets shot in the back by what is basically, the USA military. And it all tries to do this in the Sonic series' iconic, albeit rather corny writing while also intened to appeal to older kids and be "cool". It leaves the game being kinda a clusterfuck even beyond just its tone issue, in a very funny way.

Now, this isn't to say that breaking tone is necessarily a bad thing all the time. Sometimes it's intentional, a way to make a moment hit harder, surprise the audience or all of the above. However, breaking tone is a narrative risk and if it fails you risk hurting the narrative investment your audience has within your work and to top it off once tone has been broken, it can't really be put back together with a story. You'll basically be shifting the tone of the story from that point on.

An easy example of this tonal shift is UT itself with it's Geno Route.

How UNDERTALE handles it's tone

UT's tone is one that acknowledges its nature as a video game with the usage of diegetic game mechanics like SAVING and the battle system.

This has many unique effects, for example means things like death as a concept is something that is treated rather lightly within the game's tone, the game even joking about it on the occasion. It's rather pointless treating death as anything other than a slight inconvenience to the human when you directly acknowledge that they can undo it by simply not wanting to die.

This treatment of death intentionally clashes with how it's treated when you kill monsters in a Geno Route. Papyrus is a shining example of this. Being something of an emotional obstacle for the player. Designed to make the player feel shit. Basically UT's writing is effectively, unapologetically trying to guilt trip you as another test of your determination to see this run to its completion.

The emotional weight of this scene is less carried by the idea of death and more so the fact that you hurt one of your favourite characters and won't see him anymore for the remainder of the run. It's more character focused, if you've already begun to withdraw your narrative investment and attachment to the characters or if you simply just don't give a fuck, it's not gonna make you feel anything. It'd just be another monster to slay, another number to increase.

Now you might find yourself wondering. How can UT be funny and sad without it leading to side effects normally seen by "tonal whiplash"? UT is funny, sure. There's a lot of jokes, each joke told in UT is a joke told by either a character or the world. Each joke means something beyond it being a funny line. But UT can also be heartfelt, like the walk up to Asgore. It all further fleshes these characters out making them feel more deep and layered, it treats it's world and characters not as jokes to be laughed at but as people, people who can be funny, people that can be sad and down even if you and the game both know that deep down, they aren't real. Just bundles of pixels and dialogue for your entertainment which is what makes Geno's clash work.

Your attachment to the characters and world. It's sudden, yes. But that's why it hits. NPCs vanish and their absence is felt, the once lively music replaced with a slowed drone. It all feels empty. It's dark, all because you have killed the things that gave this game its "light". UT's tone is something that . The tone of Pasifist runs reinforce and bring greater impact to Geno runs and that's why it feels less like tonal whiplash to the audience.

Now, let's get to DELTATRAVELER. If we want to establish how DELTATRAVELER establishes a tone for itself what best than analysis the beginning?

How DELTATRAVELER handles it's tone

After an amusing title screen and a quick file selection, we open with Kris and Susie on a bed of flowers, the first room of UT. After a brief moment of the two getting their bearings, they stand up and Susie turns to Kris before saying "God Damnit Kris! Where the hell are we?!!" fit with a silly pose and sound effect. A reference to the meme that inspired the game's creation.

The next scene is in the very next room and it's encounter with Flowey. Here he attempts the same speech he said in UT before Susie cuts him off, gets him to spill the beans that he was actually after Kris' SOUL before getting into a battle. Where they make a joke about DR battles being different from UT battles before Susie bashes her HUD into Kris' creating a unique one that DELTATRAVELER uses before blasting Flowey away with Rude Buster.

Off the cuff, DELTATRAVELER isn't really being serious. So far it's spent the first couple of scenes essentially making jokes around the characters, world and basic premise of the game and the game will continue to do this with inclusion such as Ralsei smoking a blunt, referencing a meme of the same name and Noelle making expressions referencing both a popular SpongeBob and MegaMind memes. On its own, this isn't really a bad thing, sure I may personally find it very unfunny but the game starting off with various memes isn't even a negative in principle, it just indicates that it doesn't want the audience to take it too seriously, which if that was the intention, would be fine. The issue DELTATRAVELER has with it's writing is that it unfortunately does want me to take it seriously.

The game makes an attempt to emulate UT's writing style, attempts to have serious moments sprinkled amongst jokes. However, unlike UT, DELTATRAVELER's brand of humour is basically solely self aware memes. Oftentimes, made at the expense of its own characters and world, leaving the moments where the game actually wants to be taken serious to fall flat.

Things like Kris' nightmare during Chapter 3, where they wonder why they are cursed with our control before lamenting about how much they want to rip their SOUL out and destroy it. Before crying out that they "Don't want to die alone." Doesn't have the impact the game wants it to have, because prior to that point, the game had basically already told the audience not to take the game too seriously, thus hurting any narrative and emotional investment the player could form with this interpretation of Kris as a character leading up to that point.

The same can be said with DELTATRAVELER's Geno Route equivalent, dubbed by the devs as The Obliteration Route watching the game in one route go from, "Ralsei Dobbie! No Bitches? Vine boom!" to beating and slaughtering a beloved protagonist and watching the kid bleed out on the ground as the other fights for revenge whilst a cover of (fucking) MEGALOVANIA starts playing in another takes what should be a very climactic and emotional moment and turns it into the single funniest boss fight I have played.

And that isn't counting the various other characterization issues present throughout the route as a whole. Characters like Noelle and Susie have no real reason to help Kris with the run once they notice them seemingly going around looking for people to slaughter. DELTATRAVELER especially when the game then goes out of its way to show the player that both party members have the digetic ability to reject the player's control, to the point where they can refuse to enter battles with Kris entirely.

But they don't, they'll even attack Ness and Paula under a certain percentage of health even after Susie tells explicitly Kris to not kill them. It leads to the game putting the blame on Kris and then The Player for a situation Susie and Noelle also have established agency over. Susie can help and kill a ton of monsters yet still be pissed at Kris for what is, under the game's internal logic, still a choice she chose to follow. The game tries to remedy this via Chapter 3's talk with the trio and it's better, sure. But it still leaves the writing in this strange place of hypocrisy with the characterization to me.

One scene that sticks out to me as particularly odd being after a secret Gaster lore dump cutscene on an Aborted Obliteration run has Noelle say:

"Kris..."

"If you were serious about not having control."

"You would've done it."

Directly implying that she thought Kris should've jumped off the cliff... which is just a strange inclusion, I feel is... Done more so to enlist a reaction in the player rather than creating important moments that respects the world and established characterization.

On the topic of weird characterization, let's talk Sans...

In the GG!UNDERFELL chapter, the main antagonists are Papyrus and Sans. Papyrus, is written, pretty recognisably from his Canon Counterpart. Sans however? Is a mess and a wonderful mess, at that. They take this very edgy, unhinged approach to his character, making him into an insane killer type of character similar to AUs like Dusttale. Throughout the chapter, he tries his damnest to kill Kris and take their SOUL, talking vaugely about a gurdge that doesn't ever get elaborated on. This approach creates a dynamic between Sans and Papyrus, where Sans is basically on Papyrus' metaphorically leash. Reaching a breaking point where he kicks Papyrus off a cliff, rushes at Kris like a feral dog before being being thrown off the bridge, leading to his battle.

His battle... oh my god his battle! It was easily the best part of the game, to the point it had to have its dialogue rewritten, the reason for this being honestly something I cannot begin to accurately describe to you while also doing the scene justice. So here's a clip from Andrew Cunningham's playthrough.

This isn't even the ironic either, this was just how Sans was written. The tone takes itself very seriously, this creates this type of divide where the game has already conditioned you not take it seriously, while trying to take itself completely seriously. It's peak tonal whiplash and it makes the scene, and the fight as a whole, unintentional hilarious.

Final Thoughts

The weirdest part? I don't even care. I've spent the better half of this essay arguing the flaws in DELTATRAVELER's writing, and while I do think they are all valid positions to have, for me? I don't really care about it that much, it's these issues that make me like the game. It's really funny in a very earnest, albeit unintentional way and at the end of the day. It's entertaining to read and there is value there. It's why I am not big on the rewrite of GG!Fell Sans. His issues come from fundemental aspect of his character that couldn't be changed with a simple rewrite, nor should it have it been expected to, as a result however, it doesn't really fix his character for me, it just takes a big part of what I enjoyed from him away. It's sort of a shining example on how when creating, you do not have a choice on how other people see your work. Some jokes you might tell might land and be funny, but also to some, may be brutally annoying and that's just the beauty of the beast. There's always room to analyse, to see if what the creator wanted to convey reads back to the audience. But even if there is critical flaws with the writing, enjoyment of that writing isn't inheritantly attached to author intentions or even the quality of the content, it's a feeling, a subjective one at that. It's why I could say I don't like Sonic the Hedgehog and Kingdom Hearts for being too corny and cheesey but to others, that's exactly what they love about it, and there's a lot of value in that.

There isn't a correct way to have an opinion, a right way to like or dislike something. You like things for the reasons you like them, you dislike you dislike them and that's fine.

However, I do want to take the time in this post to address pretty plevalent fandom issue perpetuated by the wider.

In the past, the UT/DR community was, to be frank rather toxic and elitist, it still is, depending on where you look. Overtime though, there's been a shift, whether be because those types of people moved on to other things or simply grew out of that behaviour, it doesn't matter why just that it has happened. There's a lot more positivity in this community and that is great to see. All healthy communities need such things. However, I do believe that as a result of this, the fandom now is suffering from a "rubber band mentality" where we've pulled too far in the opposite direction, leading to what feels like ironically "toxic positivity".

A lot of people feel very passionate about these fan-projects and that should be celebrated. However a trend I've seen in this fandom, one which has had a net negative effect on this community, is how we as a community react to people voicing opinions/ making jokes or just talking negatively about these beloved works.

You see it a lot with works like UNDERTALE: Yellow, DELTATRAVELER, Inverted Fate, all of the big fandom projects. Everytime a critique or just a joke about a fan-work gets more than like 10K Views on social media, the entire fandom begins to fold into basically damage control, regressing into "can we just not be so negative about the super popular fandom work loved by thousands?" People that voice their opinions on these work, especially negative opinions, get dogpiled, mocked and dismissed because according to them they "don't understand the writing", "hate fan works" or are just being "bitter about works made with passion and love and should simply shouldn't engage", even when said people once taking the time to actually hear them out, provide criticism that's honestly pretty valid.

I'd understand if people were directly going after devs, commenting under their tweets, invading their own communities just to mock and be the answer to a question nobody answered. That is wrong and should be called out. Voicing how funny or even terrible you think certain scenes are on your public social media? Ultimately, that's harmless in the grander scheme of things and I feel like fans and creators should be mindful of how they react to things because at the end of the day. People are allowed to voice their opinions, they are also allowed to make jokes and laugh at the writing, they are allowed to do all of that. People want to treat fan works like works of art and I am right there with them, but if you want to do that, you have to actually start treating them like art and accept it's a completely subjective thing. People will have different thoughts about them and that's okay! The moment you start policing what thoughts should and shouldn't be expressed is when any meaningful discussion dies. This whole mentality that since it took hard work and dedication to make a fan project should be celebrated to the highest order and treated as an object of reverence, absolved from all criticism is a harmful mentality to fall into. A thing can both require hard work and dedication and also be criticised and joked about by people. These two can co-exist. One doesn't somehow counteract and invalidate the other.

For some, analysing and critiquing media is a fun thing to do! It helps you get a better understand of the medium you're analysing, what works and what doesn't. It's legitimately fun to have discussions about. Being negative about works, even if they are works of passion aren't the end of the world, especially when they are just posts made by people just minding their own business. Jokes? Shitposts? They should all be allowed, because that's also how some people enjoy works of fiction. And if you don't want to see it? Valid but there are countless methods available to ensure that that don't involve creating a "good vibes only" type of fandom environment that everyone is forced to adhere to. That helps nobody and only breeds division within this community, I think.

[jesncin]

What’s your impression on the absolute DC line?

I like the general idea of the Absolute DC line and I'm very curious with these new takes on such established characters. Impressions on everything we know rn:

Absolute Bats: I'm enjoying it so far! Its main appeal comes from looking at how all the Batman mythos chess pieces have been re-arranged more so than substantial themes FOR NOW. There's hits, there's misses (that epilogue) but so far the spectacle of the changes are really fun to see. Not the most accessible standalone story cuz it still requires basic Batman knowledge to enjoy the changes, but overall it feels like what Caped Crusader wishes it could be if it was more committed to bigger changes.

Absolute Supes: All I've heard so far from this sounds really boring if I'm honest. I'd have to see what they do before making any judgements but I'm not hooked on anything they're selling me. Sounds like re-mixed Martian Manhunter which is not a good thing.

Absolute Wondie: I'm listening and intrigued. The visuals are really popping on this one. I'm not a WW scholar enough to be able to judge the changes, but I'm interested in this very out-there take.

Absolute GL: Haven't heard enough but I'm intrigued by how the pitch was an immediate green light (pun intended) on the editorial front. I'm not the biggest fan of the artist's comic work but perhaps they've improved by then :p

Absolute Flash: Wally West looks like a butch so that's an uncritical 10/10 for me. Hyped about the artist for this one!! I am again intrigued by the premise.

Absolute Martian Manhunter: Where are you it's been so long since I've seen you. Can we get anything concrete or some art soon (<- I keep saying this, hoping I've baited the universe into proving me wrong and that hasn't happened yet)

Otherwise! I'm seated for what else is announced. This is kind of my first time reading along on an ongoing event and I love the communal reactions from everyone.

[loonarii]

Ari's K-Pop Roundup: June 2024 (LISA, Red Velvet, NAYEON, NewJeans, KATSEYE, CHUU + MORE)

Hope everyone had a nice pride month - I unfortunately was chained to my textbooks for the brunt of it and didn't do anything pride related, but I did see Taylor Swift, so I guess it wasn't all bad. This is the 5th installment of this series - genuinely didn't think I would make it this far - you can check out last month's roundup here, or see my full masterlist here. Enjoy :)

ROCKSTAR - LISA (BLACKPINK)

It's very rare that we see a kpop idol's pure, unadulterated vision for the music they release due to the manufactured, consumerist nature of the industry, but here we have Lisa, arguably the most popular female kpop idol of all time (at least internationally) free from the company that is widely known for formulaic, repetitive music. Will she stick with the brand YG has created for her and reinforce the box Teddy has placed her in sonically, or will she forge her own way?

Right from the teasers, I knew we were in for something a little different. Although conceptually the chrome, futuristic vibe is nothing new in kpop, seeing Lisa without those god forsaken white washing filters was very exciting. And the fact that k-netizens are taking to it very well?? Lisa is here to rock the boat. 'Rockstar' is only a single with no mini album, but hey, it's Lisa, meaning she doesn't need to boost the length of her releases to snatch those extra sales, she do well commercially regardless. Usually a single album would annoy me, but BLACKPINK are back to releasing music, so today I will let it slide.

With a Kendrick Lamar 'Humble' visual reference in the music video, a Tame Impala sample, and a sneaky little writing credit, Lisa clearly wants to reshape her framing in the industry - with 'Rockstar' she's rejecting the somewhat diminishing 'idol rapper' status, and seeking that 'rapper rapper' reputation. She wants to sit at the table with Doja Cat and Megan Thee Stallion, and 'Rockstar', in my opinion, does a decent job at securing her seat.

You can't reference Kendrick and not put in a double entendre in your lyrics, and Lisa (and her fellow writers) delivered in that category with quite a lot of success actually. In the line 'been MIA, BKK so pretty, Every city I go to is my city' 'MIA' is used to mean either 'missing in action', referencing how absent Blackpink has been from the music industry thanks to YG's interesting management choices, or as a reference to the Miami IATA airport code just as BKK means Bangkok, Thailand - in this context its an allusion to Lisa's multilingualism and her international influence as a member of Blackpink. It's a really good line, is what I'm trying to say.

Most of the issues I have with 'Rockstar' stem from the songs length. With the base track clocking in at 2 minutes 18 seconds (oh my god what have we come to), the song feels like it's just begun when it's all over. Excluding the choruses, hooks, and pre-choruses, and pasting what remains together, we are left with one singular, honestly quite short verse. Yeah it's a pretty good verse, both in flow and lyrical content, but one verse in what is clearly trying to be a rap song is unacceptable.

'Rockstar' is frustrating to me because while it has its genuinely great moments, like when 'lala' is used in reference to singing and to Lisa's real name when bounced onto the next line, a lot of that greatness gets eclipsed by the track's shortcomings (pun somewhat intended). However, although she's done solo work before in YG this is undoubtedly something of a debut, and through that lens, while it is flawed, the track shows potential. 'Rockstar' knows exactly what kind of song it wants to be, and even though it doesn't quite measure up, it's still a step in the right direction. I'm very excited to see what Lisa does next with her career. At the very least, 'Rockstar' was fun, for sure.

Cosmic - Red Velvet (Cosmic)

When I write these reviews, I try to describe the feelings and emotions and energies the song in question evokes, and I have found that when I struggle, the song is good - and I mean exceptionally good. 'Cosmic' is one such track - I fucking love every part of it - it's so addictive to the ninth degree, from that gorgeous music video to the low and slow verses to that utterly euphoric chorus. From Joy's slightly psychotic edge to her lines that she perfected in the 'Peekaboo' era, to Seulgi's vocals in the hook, and Wendy's high note pulling us into that final chorus; everything about 'Cosmic' WORKS. Lines like 'I'm riding on your rhythm through the solar system' and 'love is cosmic' work both in their catchiness and emotiveness. This era is obviously inspired heavily by the 2019's 'Midsommar', a visual feast of a horror film about a disturbing Scandinavian cult, and let me tell you, if 'Cosmic' is a cult, consider me initiated. Not to spoil my end of 2024 ranking or anything, but as for right now, 'Cosmic' is taking the cake for the best kpop song of the year, no questions asked.

Red Velvet b-sides always hit, and the 'Cosmic' mini album delivers as expected. 'Sunflower' furthers that 'i just took an edible and i found my way onto Spotify' energy, and that hook of 'OOH WOW FEELING SO FUN FUN FEELING SO FUNNY' is hilariously good, this is a standout for sure. The other b-side I want to highlight is 'Night Drive', the album closer. With elements of citypop and 80s synthpop, 'Night Drive' feels like exactly that - a 3am drive around a city you hardly know with people you know better than yourself. It's a celebration of music, and that's putting it lightly.

SM might be working up to shunting Red Velvet into their peripheral vision, what with the new 12 member girl group debuting soon, but 'Cosmic' proves their legend status once and for all. We freaking love you RV, never change. (And I would in fact join a cult if Seulgi was my fearless leader xx)

ABCD - NAYEON (NA)

Look, JYP may be my op until the day I die, but I'm not going to sit here and lie - he knows how to write hits when he wants to, and 'ABCD' is a HIT.

2022's 'POP!' was just that - pure, unadulterated pop music, exactly what was trending in Korea at the time - the image of modern kpop. And don't get me wrong, I loved it, but when it came for Nayeon's first comeback, I was worried she was again going to pull from the current trend cycle, and right now that means airy, Pinkpantheress type beats with a UK garage adjacent vibe - and that's not Nayeon. Her voice is full and powerful and rich in colour and flavour, a song like that just wouldn't work for her. I was nervous, for sure, but when the teaser dropped, I knew it was going to be good. In 'ABCD' Nayeon is rejecting the trend cycle almost entirely - it still flaunts that 00s vibe unabashedly, but here we are pulling from a trumpet fueled 'Crazy In Love' Beyoncé energy, and oh boy does it work. The lyricism in this song goes crazy, that chorus is masterfully written and unbelievably catchy, and that post chorus build up is INSANE. Nayeon's range is on full display here, and she sounds incredible.

The rest of the mini album is pretty amazing too. 'Butterflies' has some super interesting vocal layering, and many great moments like 'a little mental picture, every time I'm with ya' - and although it's pretty clear this was supposed to be a TWICE track once upon a time, with Nayeon even appearing to imitate the members' styles of delivery (it's like I can hear Jihyo, Jeongyeon, and Chaeyoung on this track clear as day) it's still an easy hit that I can't help but love. 'Heaven' doesn't quite work for me, it's not unlistenable, but the feeling that it has simultaneously too much and not enough energy perserveres, unfortunately. 'Magic', the song that my girl Julie features on is pop perfection, and these girls work so well together - Julie's interjections are so catchy and her parts steal the show entirely. 'Magic' is a bonafide hit. 'HalliGalli' is very AKMU (as to be expected), but I can't help but feel like it's a little immature, both for Nayeon and this album. It has some fun elements, but the complete track just isn't it for me. 'Something' is a fun pop song, if a little dull at moments, but that post chorus is a stunner. 'Count It' brings down the tempo of the album a little, in a groovy track with some beautiful vocal production - it's exactly the punch up the tracklist needed after the weaker couple of tracks that precede it.

Nayeon is my blog namesake, and she has done me proud on this album. Yes, some tracks were on the weaker side, but the overall product is strong, with Nayeon's oustanding performance on every track, and a killer title song in 'ABCD'. In terms of other TWICE members getting solos, I would love to see how Sana approached a song on her own, or even Tzuyu, who despite being the maknae and visual, tends to get lost in the sauce of a lot of TWICE releases. We will have to see, I suppose.

Right Now + Supernatural - NewJeans

God, I sound like a stuck record every time NewJeans drops some new music, but holy hell is it always good. Following their 2nd single album 'How Sweet' earlier this year, the girls are dipping their toes into the Japanese market for the first time with two tracks - 'Supernatural' and 'Right Now'. NewJeans have captured the attention of all of South Korea pretty much, it's now time to look further afield.

'Right Now', drenched in sassy lilting vocal runs, is bedroom pop at it's finest. The up-and-down choral melodies evoke the energy of a 2am gossip debrief at a sleepover with your best friends. The dichotomy of Minji's languid repetition of 'I don't care' with a chorus that speedy and spirited is humorous and perfectly captures what it is to be a teenage girl with a crush. NewJeans know who their audience is, and are making music directly for that.

'Supernatural' came next, embracing that New Jack Swing sound wholeheartedly - its very 'early 00s street dance movie'. It's quite a bit more mature than 'Right Now', the girls decorating those gorgeous synths and groovy instrumentation with a genuine collected confidence. As always, it pushes the boundaries of the y2k trend and thematically pulls from the era itself, not other people's recent interpretations of the era. It's experimental for NewJeans I think, which works for a debut, and while it takes a lot of the right risks, and makes a lot of the right choices, the chorus leaves a little something to be desired. The melody and hooks are perfect, I have no issues with them, but the vocal direction needs tweaking. A song like this demands a chant style chorus with all the members in my opinion, and while the vocal layering of the individual members singing attempts that anthemic feel, it comes off as slightly limp-fisted. I'm kind of dramatizing this issue because to be frank, it is rare I find something in a NewJeans track that I can pinpoint as a problem. The song is still of a supremely high caliber, and to be honest, any thinness in the chorus vocals just inspires the listener to fill in the gaps themselves with an impromptu karaoke session.

Lyrically, both 'Right Now' and 'Supernatural' break the kpop-takes-on-the-Japanese-market formula by including not only a blend of Japanese and English lyrics, but some Korean lines too. I find it quite clever, like saying 'this is NewJeans' debut in Japan, but they will always be a korean pop group first and foremost'. While some groups like Girls' Generation and Twice find their discographies split into 2 - kpop and jpop, NewJeans are clearly making an effort to unite both markets under 1 discography.

As a debut, this works. Two tracks united by classic NewJeans production and differentiated by themes and tone. It's really been a rough year for these girls, what with the whole Min Heejin vs HYBE drama and with Hyein's injury leaving her out of promotions for both single albums altogether, but there's a light at the end of this tunnel, and as long as the music stays consistently high quality as it has been, I will have no complaints.

(sidenote: the fact that I wasn't at Bunnies Camp in the Tokyo Dome is a little sick and twisted.)

Debut - KATSEYE

I mean, maybe expectations were unrealistically high since KATSEYE is HYBE's first real stab at the western market, but come on, we all deserved better than this. A half-hearted pop song that fails to innovate in every sense of the word, and they have the audacity to not even make it three minutes. IT'S BARELY EVEN TWO MINUTES. Kpop companies pulling from PinkPantheress constantly is truly a double edged sword, on one hand we get fucking incredible songs like 'LOOP' and 'Super Shy', and then on the other we get every kpop company waking up and deciding that actually it's totally okay to release 2 minute songs and act like it's a completed product. As a British girl, seeing the effects of the recession and the cost of living crisis on the people around me in real time is one thing, but seeing fucking SHRINKFLATION weed its way into pop music as well is like the burning cherry on top of my cesspit sundae.

I genuinely don't know what happened in the production of this song, like they got Ryan Tedder, who has contributed so much great music to this world, and then somehow the end product was so dull and uninspired.

The worst part is these girls are absurdly talented and they are getting served dirt. HYBE - that mini album coming later this year better be good istg. Ok, I'm done ranting.

BUT OH MY GOD TWO MINUTES AND THREE FUCKING SE-

Strawberry Rush - CHUU (Strawberry Rush)

(obligatory note: if you want to stream Chuu's old solo tracks, or any other old loona songs, please stream via the loona podcast or the twelveM account on spotify in accordance with the boycott)

Having the LOONA girls free from that cesspit of a company is one thing, but getting new LOONA music this often is certainly an unprecedented win for me.

Following her re-debut under ATRP in late 2023 with 'Howl', Chuu is back for her first comeback with 'Strawberry Rush'; a mini album drenched in electric pink and cherry red and sunny yellow. Chuu has an innately magnetic quality and Strawberry Rush as a title track takes full advantage of that. It's an utterly adorable song that I genuinely can't imagine anyone not loving. That disco synth thrumming the song's heartbeat is reinforced with a killer baseline, and Chuu's gorgeous vocal colour gives the track even more energy than it already has. The intro and opening are perfect at punching up the mood and setting the scene for the chorus, but it's when Chuu comes in with 'packing that heat, packing that heat, packing that PEW PEW PEW' that the song truly swings into motion and you know that this is going to be a fun one.

The mini album doesn't quite match the energy of it's title track, with it maintaining a more relaxed vibe, but it's enjoyable nonetheless. 'Honeybee' is an acoustic track decorated in summer daisy chains and buttercup bouquets, and it works wonderfully with Chuu's more airy vocals. 'Daydreamer' follows a similar sonic theme to 'Honeybee' but with a more late night nap with the cicadas vibe - Chuu's ability to switch between powerful, call-to-action vocals in 'Strawberry Rush' and featherweight tones in the b-sides is truly commendable. 'Lucid Dream' comes next, a perfect midpoint between 'Strawberry Rush' and 'Daydreamer', heartfelt and addictive. It's a real stand out on the album for sure. 'Chocolate' was released as a single a while back, and I enjoyed it then absolutely, but it makes so much more sense on this album - somehow it just got even more catchy.

Effortlessly adorable, effortlessly catchy, effortlessly perfect - Chuu, you have done it again.

MINI REVIEWS:

Boom Boom Bass - RIIZE: absolutely no notes, im obsessed. I've literally never loved a boy groups music like this before. wow.

Inner Dance - tripleS Glow: tripleS' ability to establish their own sound and musical motifs so early on in their career has served them very well, and 'Inner Dance' shows that clearly. Light and casual and airy, it's the perfect backtrack to your summer break.

Summer Festa - IVE: I usually don't dignify these type of advertisement songs with a review, but this one is actually kind of a bop. A little bit 'Espresso' coded; it's something fun for the summer that inadvertently encourages getting blackout drunk at the hotel bar in Bali. I'm still not drinking Pepsi though. Or Coca Cola for that matter, NewJeans pipe down.

BADVILLAIN - BADVILLAIN: (requested by @a-moth-to-the-light) Although apparently capturing the eyes and ears of seemingly the entire kpop community, this one wasn't hugely to my liking. This might be controversial but my first impression was in fact 'wow this sounds like something babymonster would release' - I can see the appeal but unfortunately these songs just aren't meant for me. I do enjoy the classical influenced production and for the most part the vocal performances were fun too, but with the hook I wish they had bumped up the high note at the end of 'villain' another octave - that's such a nitpick I know but the thought struck me immediately when I heard it. '+82' on the other hand impressed me immensely, such a powerful, call-to-action type song. That background production is a killer, and perhaps I just have Kendrick on the brain from my Lisa review, but the beat feels somewhat along those lines. And holy fuck can these girls dance - wow.

Sabotage - Kwon Eunbi: Can Eunbi release a flop title track? Turns out, once again, no she can't. I love 'Sabotage', it's so hilarious and catchy, and singing along feels like accusing an imaginary boyfriend of gaslighting lol. Woollim giving this song to Eunbi feels a little ironic, considering since she left IZ*ONE, it seems all they've done to her career is sabotage her with poor promotions. The song is fun, and Eunbi sounds excellent as always, with 'Sabotage' boasting many a vocal riff, especially following the bridge. Give this one a listen, and whilst you're there, go check out the rest of my girl's discography, she's truly a hidden gem.

[yurisorcerer]

Holy shit that was fucking incredible.

Warning: major hyped-up ramble session below.

The scheduling of the concert being switched around gives TogeToge a leg up to hopefully make an even bigger first impression at their first festival. Things seem to be going well for them, for once! Let's see if that lasts.

In the leadup to the festival, with Nina and Momoka actually doing pretty much fine for once, the show refocuses on its other three characters for a little while, spotlighting Subaru and how she's still hiding her involvement with the band from her overbearing grandmother, and then moving over to Tomo and Rupa, whose relationship---played to a tasteful tee, neither over- or under-explained---provides a source of strength for the both of them in the face of the loss of their respective families. Physically in Rupa's case, emotionally in Tomo's. Subaru seemingly resolves things with her grandma later in the episode, but Tomo and Rupa's issues aren't so easily packed away. I wouldn't be surprised if the show touches on them one more time before it ends.

Oh hey, Mine's back!

In general the atmosphere of the pre-show buildup reminds me a bit of the pre-concert scenes from Oshi no Ko, although in that show there's a different and more cynical context at play to the upbeat, nervy anticipation on display here.

Oh my god, it's the punk girl from episode one. (Kyouko, apparently.) There feels like a bit of symbolism in how even she's a fan of TogeToge now.

Momoka taking them all to the big main stage to see Diamond Dust play before their own show is gutsy. And at that, we get our rewind all the way back to Nina's confrontation with DD's current lead singer when they were both students. And, as has been previously implied a few times, friends! We still don't precisely know what their falling out was about, as Pink's remark to Nina where she tells her to stop "playing the tragic heroine" are awfully vague. Regardless, DD's performance itself is pretty good, although one gets the sense they're sort of being set up to fail here from a meta perspective. Their little show of rivalry here is admirable, but they aren't the band we've been following this entire time. (And while they sound fine, if we're being honest, they'd be rinsed not just by TogeToge but by most protagonist girl bands from these sorts of anime. Then again, maybe this is the intended reaction, and we're supposed to be feeling some amount of fannish partisanship.)

Rupa's just here for the drama as usual, what a queen.

During the sound check Subaru plays a pretty nice little break beat, and Rupa gets to show off her bass licks.

TogeToge also unveil their new looks here and all of them look genuinely fucking fantastic. Rupa's weird military uniform thing with the goggles, Subaru's pinstriped suit(?!), Nina's underdye and badass long shirt, Tomo's almost pixellated-looking hair bow accessory, Momoka's arm bands. Honestly just a killer visual presentation both in- and out-of-universe.

When the time comes to take the stage, they absolutely kill it. At the end of the day, this is an anime, so of course, Girls Band Cry deploys absolutely every single visual trick it can think of to really sell the performance that serves as the climax of this episode. "Void & Catharsis", the song they play, is a, if you'll pardon the pun, rock solid alternative number with a surprisingly heavy low-end that serves as a bed for Nina's incisive, comet-like vocals. (Also it has what I'm pretty sure is a breakdown??? I'm not a heavy metal expert, but what the fuck.) The show spins out into full music video mode here, taking a page from the otherwise very different Love Live series, as the stage blends into a blurry stitching-together of idealized, crystalized memories; defiance, lies, love, loss. It is perhaps the single most arresting moment in a music anime to air this year. I ended up replaying the entire thing from the start of the song onward, twice. I can't help myself; TogeToge have charisma. Every single one of them sheds tears during their part of the music video, making this episode something of a sideways title-drop.

The single most compelling visual element though has nothing to do with all the crazy camera tricks, overlays, flashbacks, anything like that, though. It's Nina herself. In what I can only describe as an absolute triumph of CGI in anime as a form, this little sixteen year old pipsqueak comes off as a complete and total superstar. She stomps angrily from one end of the stage to the other with her long shirt drooping and billowing dramatically, she grips her head in anger as she sings like the words are being physically ripped out of her throat, she headbangs, she pumps her fist and spins around to egg her own band on, she glares at the audience like she's trying to kill them---maybe Diamond Dust specifically, who are also watching---with her mind, she does weird shit with her hands and gestures around like a rapper. It's mesmerizing. Clearly the result of a ton of love not just for animation as an art form but for concerts as a form of performance. The entire thing is just end to end nuts, and this moment, regardless of what came before it or comes after it, completely validates Girls Band Cry as an artistic endeavor. If the entire rest of the show were to somehow go missing, removed from reality with a surgeon's knife, this performance alone would make the undeniable case that it deserved to exist.

Nina isn't even my favorite *character* in this show. But good god she's great here. I'm just honestly stunned.

As for GBC itself, there is only one real problem. There are still two episodes of this anime left. It's possible I'm just sitting in a sort of concertgoers' afterglow at the moment, but I kind of can't imagine what else the show could really do from here. How do you top that?

Nonetheless, Girls Band Cry wants to try, and that ambition is admirable.

[counttwinkula]

i don't want to add this onto the post in question but

i really do not appreciate attempts to add art into STEM to create STEAM, because

instead of arguing for the importance of art or the rigor an artistic practice, these arguments generally only touch upon the ways in which art relates to STEM or enhances stem. this, in turn, feels like "art is important because it connects to STEM, which we already know is important"

the above argument is only constructed (pun intended) with visual art and architecture in mind, whereas, at least in my experience in uni, the arts department included things like music, film, art history, and theatre. while one can make an argument for the use of STEM in any of these fields (yes, you may be surprised to learn that there's science and math in theatre), that still tends toward the above argument���that STEM is always already important and so its incorporation into any other field elevates that field

the idea of holistic knowledge with regard to turning STEM into STEAM once again only applies to people already in STEM, and fails to appropriately acknowledge artists and arts students outside of that framework

the idea of holistic knowledge with regard to turning STEM into STEAM entirely fails to address the importance of the humanities. perpetuating my own pet peeve in points 1& 2: STEM students need a knowledge of writing, language, and composition in order to communicate their ideas and findings. STEM students should be acquainted with history in order to understand how their work fits into the body of existing knowledge and how it's progressed. it is imperative that STEM students learn about the experiences of minoritarian groups in order to address their concerns and injustices in how they perform their research

instead of lumping more things into STEM as a means of acknowledging their importance or relatedness, perhaps we should focus this energy on pushing for holistic knowledge for everyone, instead of adopting this STEM-focused mindset

alternatively we can rearrange the letters. make it Science, Communications, Humanities, Mathematics, Engineering, Art, and Technology. make it SCHMEAT

[hinamie]

hi hina what are some of your favorite art styles in manga?

OOOOH i love this ask so much u don't understand,,, first of all ok any1 who knows me knows i am a filthy anime-only fr most of the series I like so there r a few on this list tht i haven't necessarily read in their entirety gomenasorry i'm a fraud i just like the pretty pictures....

also this got longer than anticipated (i lied i anticipated it) but here r a few series whose art i want 2 chew on :D i feel like i've mentioned all of these at least in passing before but fr anyone who wants to read me yell about the specifics....take a shot every time i say the word "love"

tokyo ghoul: *takes an extended drag* all the roads lead back here. listen. ishida sui is a master the man is a god what can i say he is like leonardo da vinci 2 me. he is Better than leonardo da vinci 2 me. the serendipity of me being into tg during a very formative time in my art journey (right when i was making the transition into creating my own content) meant that a lot of tg influence ended up kind of bleeding into my work pun intended. Ishida's way of doing eyes n faces is so unbelievably expressive plus the scratchiness of his lines combined w the soft n rounded way he does facial features... thts not even mentioning his coloured works god theyre entrancing i adORE how everything looks like a mix of watercolour and almost . layered tissue paper?? like it's sharp n translucent n angular but everything looks so soft...how he manages to make something look so sharp but so smudged at the same time is witchcraft it looks like smth out of a dream it looks like coloured ink seeping into fabric it looks like fogged stained glass,,, ishida sui my king u will always be famous 2 me

jjk: this feels like a no-brainer but i have 2 talk about it i'll b hunted for sport if i don't talk about how much of an absolute slut i am fr gege's art style. i wld bet real money tht me getting into jjk was part of what solidified my love for the Sharp Angular look that i tend to implement into my own stuff bc gege does it !! SO well!!!! not only does it make his fight scenes look super dynamic but i Also think it lends really well to all of the character designs like. holds up megumi this boy is triangles on rectangles not a fuckin curve in SIGHT . its not just megumi either!!! his shape language fr the entire fucking cast is to die for i want to rub my face against it like a cat. also ive gushed abt it in regards to yuuji specifically bc i think he's the best example but gege's expressions also are so goddamn GOOD the eyes hold so much emotion...so much anguish n weight n he's so good at conveying that battle-crazed psychopathic thousand yard stare.....nothing but murderous intent behind those eyes n it looks incredible every ! fucking ! time!!!!! i love the way he does eyes so much it's a shame he keeps tearing them out of his character's skulls

toilet-bound hanako-kun: EATS IT EATS IT EATS IT!!!! i own 2 of the artbooks i love the art in this series so MUCH i love the shapes i love the reds n warm tones i love the cutsey proportions meets traditional yokai illustrations n spooky vintage aesthetic,, the art in tbhk is like studio ghibli to me in the way it NAILS visual clutter n making environments/backgrounds look strategically Busy,, the manga covers the illustrations the splash pages...all the official art is so jam packed with detail but somehow it doesn't tip the scale into being Too Much it all looks so intentional and cohesive and the colour choices are all so GOOD i just!!! how do u DO that!!!!!!!! also omg the way they draw eyes n hair. puts it in my mouth it is so. blobby and blocky respectively i love when art styles make the irises Not Quite Round i think it adds so much character :'>

owari no seraph: ons entered my life around the same time as my tg era and didn't have Quite as much of an impact on me as the former so i don't have quite as much to say but HOLY SHIT THE MANGA COVER ART POINTS AT MIKA'S HAIR POINTS AT THE CHAINS ON HIS CAPE DO U SEE THIS SHIT??????????? it's ethereal!!!!!! it's so blended and smooth and detailed but the line weight is still so intact and satisfying to look at :'>> not to mention the colour choices and lighting makes everything look so wintery and cold it feels like a marble church it /feels/ vampirey and i LOVE it

[riddlingabout]

since u sent me questions….. its my turn 😈😈😈 muahahahhah

who’s ur fav hatchetfield character? on top of that, what’s your fav show in the franchise?

what’s your favorite musical?

any headcanons for rtc or hatchetfield characters?

are u aware of how AMAZING you are? srsly i freak our whenever i see u reply and leave comments and stuff on my posts 💗💗 I LOVE MOOTS!!!!

royallllllll :DDDDD thank you for the questions, i love them!! 🤗🤗

(yes i've been working on these for a hot minute)

this is genuinely a really tough question. i'd say it's a tie between richie and pete from npmd. i'm torn because i LOVE richie with my entire heart but i know that pete and i would be BEST friends irl and i just love everything about his character. (I haven't seen NMT so i mean joey's pete specifically) and NPMD is 1000000000% my favourite show! i do really love TGWDLM but nerdy prudes has my entire heart and soul and always will!

2. favourite musical, like...in general? oh boy...other than nerdy prudes i would probably sayyyyy into the woods? it brings me a lot of comfort, especially musically! that or in the heights (the musical, i haven't seen the movie) or all shook up (i love the gender fudgery), i also love be more chill and am hyperfixating on ride the cyclone haha (there's a lot tbh)(i could go on for aaaaaaages)

3. i just posted some rtc hcs for a previous ask, buuuuut:

ruth rides a bike to and from school (no idea where this came from but i feel like it makes sense, especially considering how h*rny she always is, and the fact that her hair would look SO adorable all smooshed under a helmet heheheheh)

not sure if this is canon or not but richie is like...really good at visual art, his sketchbooks are like miniature art museums, and he gets roped in to designing banners etc. for the nighthawks. he gets insanely nervous and fidgety before art showcases.

i'm undecided whether grace is one of those (pardon the pun) holier-than-thou green tea addicts, or if she chugs coffees like jesus intended (I love green tea, i just see her being like annoying about it, yknow?) also she DEFINITELY has a unicorn lunchbox.

i get like...bilingual energy from max? like he's actual real sweet to his grandma and speaks to her in their native language kinda vibes. yeah...i like this one...

steph's actually damn good at coding, she's hacked the school network to bypass the website restrictions so she can use her phone in class like an OBSCENE amount of times.

cats LOVE pete spankoffski, like...he's almost definitely allergic but they flock to him. any time he goes to ruth's house (bc girlie DEFINITELY has cats), she huffs because they love pete, lay all over him, and get sad when he leaves. and who could blame them, really?

4. WHAT omg i'm nothin' special! that's so so sweet of you though, i always worry i get kinda too excited about your art, but i just ADORE your art style <3 the urge to start a kickstarter to get you an iPad with an apple pencil hehe

[vigilantempathy]

Why Crowley can’t go back to Heaven and can’t be restored as an angel…

…using Satan’s soliloquy from Book IV of Paradise Lost by John Milton.

Because I have a deep-below-lower-deep unholy decade-long obsession with Paradise Lost and Good Omens S2 has prompted a re-read.

(Quoted from the UPenn online version, linked below.)

Broad Context: In Paradise Lost, Satan fell because he “trusted to have equaled the most High”—he pushed for equality with God, challenged the idea of Omnipotence, and led war against Heaven trying to prove that God was not supremely powerful and if he and his forces could achieve victory, that they deserved power, too. But they lost, Lucifer fell and became Satan, and everyone who fought with him was cast Down as well. He wasn’t claiming to be above God, but challenging God’s supremacy was an act of hubris. There are TONS of themes, language, and visuals from classical/Hellenic myth and epic poetry and Satan reads largely as the hero of a Greek tragic epic. He follows Aristotle’s Poetics ideas of peripety and discovery: he massively fucks up his own life, leading to his own tragic downfall, and only realizes too late that all his ruinous problems are his own damn fault (pun intended). People have debated since publication the degree to which Milton knowingly or unknowingly had sympathy for the devil (cue Rolling Stones) but tend to agree that Satan isn’t a typical obvious bad guy villain.

Kind of like how Good Omens’ Heaven/Hell dichotomy isn’t really about Good/Evil and its main characters are a demon who is a bit of a nice person and an angel who is enough of a bastard to be worth knowing.

Scene Context: Post-Fall, Satan struggles with the understanding that he fucked up his own life, that he fucked up the lives of everyone loyal to him because they were all punished for that loyalty, that he deeply regrets his choices knowing now how they worked out and wishes he’d never Fallen, but that he can never go back to Heaven or to being “some inferior angel” knowing what he knows now.

SCENE SETTING (Lines 17-31)

And like a devilish engine back recoils

Upon himself; horrour and doubt distract

His troubled thoughts, and from the bottom stir

The Hell within him; for within him Hell

He brings, and round about him, nor from Hell

One step, no more than from himself, can fly

By change of place: Now conscience wakes despair,

That slumbered; wakes the bitter memory

Of what he was, what is, and what must be

Worse; of worse deeds worse sufferings must ensue.

Sometimes towards Eden, which now in his view

Lay pleasant, his grieved look he fixes sad;

Sometimes towards Heaven, and the full-blazing sun,

Which now sat high in his meridian tower:

Then, much revolving, thus in sighs began.

SATAN’S SOLILOQUY (Lines 93-113)

“But say I could repent, and could obtain,

By act of grace, my former state; how soon

Would highth recall high thoughts, how soon unsay

What feigned submission swore? Ease would recant

Vows made in pain, as violent and void.

For never can true reconcilement grow,

Where wounds of deadly hate have pierced so deep:

Which would but lead me to a worse relapse

And heavier fall: so should I purchase dear

Short intermission bought with double smart.

This knows my Punisher; therefore as far

From granting he, as I from begging, peace;

All hope excluded thus, behold, in stead

Of us out-cast, exil'd, his new delight,

Mankind created, and for him this world.

So farewell, hope; and with hope farewell, fear;

Farewell, remorse! all good to me is lost;

Evil, be thou my good; by thee at least

Divided empire with Heaven's King I hold,

By thee, and more than half perhaps will reign;

As Man ere long, and this new world, shall know.”

Good Omens Read:

For many of the same reasons as Satan in Paradise Lost, Crowley can’t return to Heaven. He can’t trust it anymore. He knows what it did to him and others like him. He can no longer abide the lie that Heaven is the side of the ang— the side of the good guys. Good guys don’t do the things that God and Heaven have done. Heaven and Hell take similar, parallel actions throughout Good Omens but at least Hell doesn’t pretend to be righteous about their destructive, cruel, unjust actions. Hell is awful but at least it knows that. Better the devil you know, if the alternative is the angel who is fundamentally dishonest.

If Crowley returns to Heaven, he’ll saunter back downwards immediately and there will be nothing vague about it the second time. He doesn’t trust it, he can never trust it again, and he has 6000 years of anger towards Heaven for his own Fall, which are 6000 years of viewing Heaven as the enemy, even if only as lipservice to maintain professional courtesy.

But now he’s been cast into a deep personal hell, (“a lower deep;” the internal turmoil that makes a shitty external situation orders of magnitude worse) because now Heaven has taken Aziraphale from Crowley.

And Heaven can hurt him. They’ve tried to destroy Aziraphale before. They tried to destroy Gabriel by destroying everything that made him Gabriel. They’ve been threatening “extreme sanctions” and removal from The Book of Life and Crowley only recently learned that was a real possibility and not a made-up horror story.

Crowley hadn’t trusted Heaven in 6000 years, but Heaven hurting him and Heaven hurting Aziraphale are incomparable metrics to Crowley.

Contrast Crowley’s typically cool responses to being personally threatened with his incinerating rage at anyone threatening Aziraphale.

Crowley responds to threats to his own personal safety and well-being (Hastur, Ligur, and Shax all threaten Crowley himself and Crowley responds with one-liners, sarcasm, cinematic threats that makes a cheap plant mister sound like a ‘44 magnum, and, you know, holy water) without breaking a sweat. But threaten Aziraphale and there isn’t a one-liner to be found. He can’t pretend to be unaffected when Aziraphale is in trouble. He sputters. He trails off. He shouts. He snarls.

Noting also that when Crowley forgets to act cool is a good indicator that something has deeply rattled him. Ex. Soaking wet, ash-streaked, screaming, sobbing, knocked on the ground, grief-wrecked Crowley in the bookshop fire. So when Crowley doesn’t have a quip ready, he’s actually scared. In the moments that matter, Crowley is as cool as crocs with mismatched socks.)

Crowley hasn’t trusted Heaven I’m 6000 years because of what it did to him. He could never have gone back.

But now Heaven has taken Aziraphale and can hurt him. So now Heaven, through the Metatron, offers Crowley the possibility of return.

The Metatron knows as well as Crowley does that Crowley can never go back. The Metatron knows it as well as God knows the same to be true of Satan in Paradise Lost:

“For never can true reconcilement grow,

Where wounds of deadly hate have pierced so deep:

Which would but lead me to a worse relapse

And heavier fall: (…)

This knows my Punisher; therefore as far

From granting he, as I from begging, peace.”

There was never an honest offer to restore Crowley to Heaven. He could never have trusted Heaven, even if he’d returned, and he’d have Fallen again immediately. That’s why the Metatron offered. Because Aziraphale still wants to trust Heaven and Crowley never can again. Because the Metatron knew Crowley would say no. And the Metatron knew that even if Crowley accepted to stay with Aziraphale or to protect him, Crowley would be cast back Down in short order anyway. (“Does anyone ever ask for death?” The Metatron asks Nina.)

Would Crowley have chosen not to Fall, knowing what he knows now? Probably. But he did. He can’t go back. Neither could Satan.

Satan’s soliloquy after the Fall, or Crowley’s pining melancholy drunk divorce rant after Season 2:

“So farewell, hope… all good to me is lost.”

[soullessjack]

fave saw trap?

OOHH oh my god okay I have so many.

Obligatory reverse bear trap mention bc who doesn’t love her, she’s mother. she is the beginning with John and Amanda and she is the end with Jill and Mark, she brings the narrative to a full circle despite her mechanical function being the opposite.

THE BATHROOM TRAP!!!!!! Obsessed with it. The shades of blue and white and the fluorescent lights, the grimy browns and greens and reds, all so absolutely beautiful together. Really pulls you into the dampness and coldness and the filth of it. Obligatory chainshipping mention also. Love those guys. Very normal about them.

the angel trap and its’ fatality is so so visually beautiful to me. she mothers extremely hard (god rest Kerry tho). truly one of the artsiest of the traps. I love the warmish shade of green in the room, and in the acid, and of course I love it contrasting with the red shade of the ribcage gore.

glass coffin for obvious reasons.. mark is soooo delicious in it with his hair all messy and his nose bleeding and his tits propped up I mean what hahah who said that . and I absolutely love the cold shade of blue it gives off, very lovely contrast with marks nosebleed also. and the whole coffinshipping thing. like it’s such a trust-based trap ironically. like, “you know what I’ve done you know who I am you know I am guilty and cannot be trusted whatsoever but will you throw away all of that and trust me anyways, is your will to survive strong enough to trust someone who ostensibly does not deserve it.” so delicious

I don’t like Jigsaw but I will admit the hot wax trap looked pretty cool, definitely one of the scariest of the movie. if you’ve ever seen 2005’s House of Wax it gives the same literally suffocating and uncomfortable feeling as Jared Padalecki’s character’s wax coating (and the horrendous peeling of it) bc you’re watching someone in such a helpless horrible position and relegated only to watching it.

the death mask is another super cool visual trap, love the green tint, love the spikes, even Michael’s eye injury looked cool! the snapping kill at the end was definitely cool too.

the nerve gas house 100% fav. I love saw 2 very dearly, both for Daniel and Amanda and for Mudvayne’s Forget To Remember song in the credits. I didn’t enjoy most of the traps in the house, mostly bc I felt like they could’ve been easily avoided or thought out better (but in the victims’ defense they were actively being poisoned) and also bc I wasn’t very attached to anyone outside of Danny and Mandy. Love the atmosphere of the house, the grime and dim fluorescence and yellow-greens (as a graphic designer warm tints like that are very good at giving off a sense of humidity and feverishness, really adds to the nerve gas poisoning and the claustrophobia of the house, too).

the horsepower trap. quick bonus for the green and yellows tints, but also I’m personally very drawn to settings with mechanical clutter. I’m not mechanically inclined in any way but visually I love looking at them and figuring out what they do. based mark for putting nazis in an inescapable trap also! the kills are deliciously brutal. the skin ripping scene, the windshield crash, the face smashing, and my absolute favorite has to be the arm/jaw yanking (specifically the jaw, idk I just think it’s neat. maybe not neat , per se, but one of those extremely gruesome things that you just can’t look away from. no pun intended it’s like a car crash).

the Mausoleum Trap. love the setting, a trap in a fucking mausoleum is metal as fuck. more traps should have spooky settings like that I think (a morgue trap would go so fucking hard also). love the colors, basically I love the entire concept but the execution could’ve bene way better (which can be said about a lot of 3D’s themes, especially the See/Hear/Speak/Do No Evil ones).

[somethingwittyandweird]

What's your favorite game you played this year?

You've activated my “review of my year in gaming” trap card! I was already going to make this post in some form or another, you've just given me the perfect launching point. So, the first thing you should know about asking me for favorites: I never give just one. How could I, when it's been such a banger year of games? (Heads up, this one's going to go long.)

I loved Tears of the Kingdom to death, and it took home my most hours played on Switch. It is a shining example of what devs can do with an extra few months to polish a game. There were so many remarkable moments that testified to how much care and ideas the devs were able to put in. I loved how it used the time since the first game to develop familiar places and characters, adding depth (no pun intended) and also making sure every familiar location had some new twist. The story was a much stronger followup to BotW, and I think this overall has my new favorite ending sequence of anything in the series (I'd love to make a full post sometime about how the final Ganondorf battles just keep getting more spectacular with each new title). I am so, so, so, so normal about this incarnation of Princess Zelda. 

Also in my favorites this year is Fire Emblem Engage, which hit at just the right time to scratch my strategy itch. As a long time FE fan it’s not a surprise I enjoyed this one- though it lost the political intrigue of its predecessor in favor of a more traditional/tropey story, I still had a lot of fun with all its gimmicks and gameplay innovations. Also it is hands-down the most visually appealing game in the franchise, a title previously held by the series’ GBA entries which are masterworks from the peak era of beautiful sprite art. From the incredible crit animations to the spectacle of super attacks to the battle maps which are so beautifully detailed that the game lets you free roam around them after a battle just to appreciate them better. 

I finished the Link’s Awakening remake this year! It was a charming trip back to an older era of Zelda design philosophy and I found it fascinating to compare the ways where the classic puzzles and challenges differ from what the game would be like if it were made today, as well as the places where modern technology allowed for better QoL changes that weren’t in the original. I really enjoyed the music as well, which I find to be a standout among the series still.

Here at the end of the year, I have to give a shout out to Sea of Stars. It has everything you want in an indie darling- very pretty pixel art, very nice music, turn-based battles with timed hits I joke, but Sea of Stars does a great job balancing evoking/paying homage to icons like Chrono Trigger and bringing new gameplay to the JRPG formula. I like its pared-down take on JRPG combat which revamps skills/mana into a much more dynamic resource that’s constantly being spent and regenerated, and I’m a known sucker for character combo attacks which this game has in spades. The later parts of its story are told with a lot of heart, and again I am a known sucker for certain character archetypes. Surprisingly also, I think the movement and exploration is absolutely a standout- not something that’s typically emphasized in the genre. But this game constantly has you hopping across stepping stones, balancing on tightropes, climbing walls and ledges… the emphasis on interesting traversal and verticality is a strength few games like it can boast. 

Before my final pick, I’m including a special section for all the games I didn't play myself but watched my friends play and still want to praise: Hi-Fi Rush, Bomb Rush Cyberfunk, Mario Bros Wonder, Pizza Tower, the Minish Cap Switch rerelease, and more all came out this year and all of them have brought killer music, excellent gameplay, and stunning visuals that I’ve enjoyed to no end. Anyone considering to pick up any of them would find a quality product without a doubt.

With all that said: I think ultimately it has to be Tunic in the end. Underneath its premise of a Zelda/Souls-like adventure game there is a wealth of secrets that goes as far down as you have the courage to delve. It’s a game built to evoke nostalgia for games that you didn’t understand yet, posing as a game that you watched an older sibling play or a game you could only find a poorly-translated foreign copy of. It obscures everything and teaches you its secrets through context, exploration, and discovering in-game pages of the manual (remember manuals?). It’s a game made for lovers of secrets and puzzles, full of hidden paths and trophies that reward inquisitiveness and observation (and taking paper notes). It was when I saw that it not only has a conlang, but that it gives you the hints you need to fully translate it, that I knew I had to get it myself. It spurred me to screenshot every in-game piece of menu text, then spend evenings cross-referencing it to identify phonemes and construct a key.

The rush I got on completing that key is one of two moments I knew this game was absolutely special. The second standout moment is when the game teaches you its hugest secret, and then invites you to prove your mastery of it by presenting you a huge, multi-part puzzle. But, Tunic does the same thing that one of my other all-time favorites, Outer Wilds, does so well: powerups via knowledge, “unlocking” abilities that you always had, you just didn’t know that you did. The pieces to this puzzle are hidden in plain sight; it’s only when the game tells you what you’re looking for that your understanding shifts, everything clicks, and your eyes are opened to the path you have to follow. I don’t say it lightly, but I consider Tunic to be a one-of-a-kind title, and one that delivers completely on its unique vision. 

In case that brick of text doesn’t make it clear, I love this game. 

I love all of these games.

It's a fine time to be alive.

[eupheme]

WARNING long ass sappy message incoming but there’s nothing you can do to stop it OKAY

J you know I have loved your writing for a long long time and even through my hiatus you’re the one account I’ve always come back to read. Always, no matter than damn fandom.

But can I just say that you’re absolutely THRIVING right now and it is just such a pleasure to see🥹😭and I’m not even talking about the notes (but also like hello??? I am amazed at you???) but your writing is just really showing its absolute best.

The characterisation of Logan is just always ON POINT, Wade and his comedy and meta comments are just spot on and so clever. And the SMUT? The dynamic of the three of them together?? I’ve been trying now for a couple weeks and this type of comedy/romance is real hard (no pun intended tehe) but you’re just so good at it.

Truly honestly one of the greatest writers and it’s an honour to be able to read your stuff and interact with you like this.

margo 🥺😭💖💖💖 please, my friend - this is so incredibly kind and I’ve been coming back to look at it all day and whenever I did I had to close out because I got too emotional.

this has me feeling so shy (in the kindest way). I love both you and your writing so much and your kindness from the beginning has always inspired me 💕 i am so lucky to know you, and i honestly don’t have words to express how much your encouragement means to me and how incredible this was so read and how i absolutely screenshotted this to keep forever 💖 thank you so much. I really love the characters and have been having fun - it’s been a real passion project working on these and to think you feel this way makes me so happy. (and these aren’t to cheapen the message, just visual of me right now:)

(And so cheering you on with your works!!! Te Beroya is such a masterpiece and I am always so excited to see what you’re working on!! They really are hard - I am not going to pretend it’s not, and I am really looking forward to read anything and everything that you want to share 💖)

[tideswept]

I was tagged by @yourfavoritefridge and am taking a page from @sendpseuds ('s) book and answering this while deeply compromised. Sober, I am not.

You have been warned!

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

62!

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

800,347! (Ooh, big round number!)

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Currently: Kingsman & Star Wars. (I really never thought I'd be in either of them but I'm glad I am.)

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

gold and pink and glittering: 498, Hartwin, E. I'm still surprised to this day how much people liked it. First smut in several years.

the lean and hungry type: 453, Obikin, E. First time getting to do alpha/beta, and written from around 11pm to 4 am and then another hour proofreading. I was mildly delirious, ngl.

offer a little salt for that wound: 463, Hartwin, E. OOH man I had this one in my head and wouldn't leave me tf alone. My plot bunnies aren't USUALLY visual, but this one was!

cold water on your tongue: 429, Obikin, E. Still surprised this one took off tbh! I had a lot of moments where the fic felt awkward to me and not worth salvaging. But I think it makes people happy, and god, I can't really ask for more than that!

somebody to lie in the dark with: 302, Obikin, E. That's the second time today I've typed something instead of someone in that title. HMM. (Sith-Wan, my darling!)

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do when I can! Have a pretty decent streak going, I think? I think I owe a really lovely commenter from like 5 days ago and nnnghh the guilt is heavy.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Potentially empty spaces, empty phrases (Obikin) depending on how you decide the ending goes! But objectively: let me stay (TimJon).

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh fuck, who are you, the cops? (me, looking at my fics in despair)

I think the honor goes to cold water on your tongue. Everything else tends to end in a bittersweet or incomplete ("to be continued") kind of way.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

Not outside of TMA. It's been absolutely lovely being in Kingsman / Obikin fandoms. I genuinely showed up here low-key scared for my life, and I've been shown nothing but kindness and support.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, and welcome to the first of the "UH IDK? [awkward shrug/hand wave]" questions because... I have no idea how to answer that. Like, what are the quantifiers here? Level of depth (NO PUN INTENDED) in how explicit it is, or what bits are rubbing against what bits, or like, if I specialize in any particular kind of smut (if there aren't pins for "I WRITE BDSM SMUT", I demand we print them) or— tldr: IDK. Vibe. The vibe kind. oh my god not vibrator vibe brain why are you doing this

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope. I've thought about fusions, though! Like, I feel a fic where Obi-Wan is a Kingsman and picks Anakin as his candidate--maybe it was Qui-Gon's dying request still, and when Obi-Wan became a knight and a seat next opened up, he reluctantly said, FINE.

(Now I'm wondering what knight Obi-Wan would be. Gawain? The original version of him, not the vulgarized mythos of later romances. Which leaves Anakin to be Agravaian, which is pretty perfect tbh. I mean he could also be Mordred since they're all brothers)

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup! Multiple times. It never stops feeling Not Okay.

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of?

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope.

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

oh fuck you are the cops.

Uh. tbh this is a really hard question until I asked myself: a 100k fic written by an amazing author: what pairing would you be more excited about? And my heart... my heart said Hartwin.

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Ahh, sadly the post-Vday canon divergence Hartwin fic. I'm told it stands on its own as is, though. So maybe that counts for something?

16.) What are your writing strengths?

I have no idea. You saw what happened during the smut question, I fell apart like a jenga tower! And that was a simple question!

Honestly though, I don't know. That I manage to carry enough vibes to be entertaining? That's pretty good.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I will not clutch the camera and shove my face into it and whisper everything in a voice ragged with despair I will not clutch th—

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Google Translate, my dearest friend. (Unless it's Spanish, I can handle that on my own.)

Granted, if I have a friend who speaks the language, you can bet I'm knocking down their door like a SWAT squad.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

UH SO FUNNY STORY. I watched IT (the TV series) when I was like, 7. Was very confused for many reasons (partly because I missed the first hour) but also i was a Weird Child, and also Not American.

But! I didn't know it was based off a book written by a dude, so one day I just... started writing the story down in a notebook when I was 8. Because I figured I liked the movie (I assumed it was a movie at the time) so much, why NOT turn it into something to read?

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

Beholding's Own. Lightning-in-a-bottle kind of situation, 10+ year break from writing, and also re-entering fandom after said 10+ year long break. It's really hard to live up to that kind of fondness.

From new fics? the devil is a gentleman. I can't help it, this Obi-Wan and Anakin are hilarious. They are so dumb and yet so smart.

I'm supposed to tag people now for this, so imagine me throwing Your Candy of Choice at @irrationalsense, @veloursdor, @kingdomvel and @howlbrooklyn like a fastball. (And anyone else who'd like to do it!)

[adobe-outdesign]

Could you review the og regi trio

I already did Registeel here, but as for the other two:

Regirock is solid (no pun intended). It has the same lack of a real face or any kind of expression that makes the 'regis feel so imposing and legendary, and the idea that it's a golem "sculpted" from rock comes across really clearly.

Visually, I like the various facets to its body, which give it a very organic look that I really dig. The use of orange is also nice, giving it a few pops of color and sort of representing the colored layers of some large rock beds.

My only nitpick is that I think the orange could've been a bit darker or bolder to really make it pop, and the eyes get lost a little. None of the original trio use blue, so that might've helped them stand out more. Regardless, this is probably my second favorite 'regi, right behind Registeel.

Regice, while probably my least favorite of the original three, still works pretty decently for what it is. I know some people really like the pointed feet, but I actually think they work well; the sharpness contrasts with Regirock's blunter look and Registeel's curves, and the fact that it can balance on two points only makes it feel all the more ominous and otherworldly. The ice-like quality also is obvious.

My only big issue with Regice is that I feel like it's a bit too monochromatic, with the entire body just being one single color. Registeel has black accents and Regirock has orange, but Regice kind of becomes one big blur. I think just adding a few royal blue accents in select areas would make the design much easier to parse without requiring any huge changes. Otherwise, both of these guys are pretty great, and together all three make for a perfect legendary set.

[tentacledwizard]

Come Look At Shark Movie Posters With Me

As a patron of the arts, it is my job to find and review pieces that others might overlook. Recently, I found some intriguing movie posters, all of which belong to a single genre- the low-quality shark movie (also called the sharksploitation genre). Despite the blatant scientific inaccuracies, I took it upon myself to share these unique artworks with the world.

     Now, this one is a classic. “Sharknado,” the title proclaims in a bold gradient red. “Enough said!” This poster knows exactly what it’s trying to communicate. It doesn’t talk down to the audience. It already assumes we understand what it’s about. After all, a clever portmanteau of “shark” and “tornado” can only mean one thing! I am really blown away (no pun intended) by the complex wordplay and bold statement of this poster. 

The visuals are striking (it has a nice orange and blue color contrast, a staple of great posters everywhere). Of course, the sharknado is front and center. The spinning, cartilaginous vortex is creating fire and explosions for some reason- showing its nature as an otherworldly, diabolical force. A Ferris wheel topples into the stock-image inferno. There’s no time for leisure when this sort of catastrophe descends on your city. 

     The sharks themselves are excellent, mainly Great Whites with one mako. All of them appear to be screaming bloody murder, their denticles (shark scales) shimmering against a dark tornado. Two of them seem to be the same image flipped around. There’s an element of tragic nobility among these creatures. They were just minding their own business before getting sucked into a horrible, never-ending spiral. These sharks are somehow alive above land. They’re tough. They’re survivors. They never wanted to be a weather phenomenon, and they could have lived peaceful fishy lives without ever seeing Los Angeles. Are their open jaws a sign of aggression, or a cry for help? 

  RATING: 4.7 out of 5. This poster is fin-tastic. Enough said!

This one is interesting. Not as dynamic as the version where Mega Shark was chomping a plane. This time, Giant Octopus is doing the damage, using a ship as a sort of bath toy. The title font is obviously symbolic, portraying Mega Shark as a shiny gold and Giant Octopus as silver. It’s pretty clear who will win in the end. (After all, there was also Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus. And Mega Shark vs. Kolossus. And Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark. I think it’s safe to say Mega Shark survives.) 

     Again, there’s an intense orange-blue contrast. This time, though, it’s overdone. It lacks Sharknado’s finesse. There’s some kind of heavy vignette filter, and the colors are dark and dingy. The aptly named leviathans are duking it out. A broken Golden Gate Bridge (?) is seen in the background. This, and the gold font used for Mega Shark, seem to signify a dark night of the soul for our CGI protagonist. As Robert Frost once said, nothing gold can stay. 

   Giant Octopus is dragging Mega Shark down, its papillae spiky. The tip of its arm is in Mega Shark’s mouth. Okay, Giant Octopus. I’ll pretend to not read into it, for your benefit. (And I’m not! After all, a shark’s weapon is its mouth! I’m choosing to ignore… whatever Giant Octopus is doing.)

 RATING: 3. Spicy, but an eyesore. 

  Hmm. Nah.

   I don’t like this poster. It’s very unoriginal. (Look up the poster for Jaws. You’ll see what I mean.) The shark is doing the generic Oh No, Scary Shark pose. Hear that sound in the distance? That’s the sound of violins playing, but they’re clearly part of a bad remix. Also, the lower part of the poster still suffers from an odd-looking vignette effect. This time it’s crimson, because why not.

    I know this is supposed to be about the poster, not the movie, but I’ll say it: Sand Sharks seems like an especially bad movie. I mean what would the plot be? Sharks bursting out of the sand and surprising literally no one because people could see the dorsal fins and get off the beach? 

   So, we have the mandatory Bikini Woman who will become shark chow very soon. She’s laying down on the sand without a towel or anything, pushing her chest up in this super convincing pose. Then there’s the shark, who has concerningly needle-like, snaggly teeth. (Wait, I just looked it up. Turns out snaggletooth sharks are a thing. I apologize to any snaggletooth sharks out there, all of you are amazing.) Here’s my main question: how did Generic Shark find Bikini Woman? Generic Shark’s ampullae of Lorenzini are clearly visible. Ampullae of Lorenzini are used for electroreception, which is this incredible sixth sense sharks have. I can’t go into long paragraphs about this so I suggest you look it up (it’s awesome). But Generic Shark is swimming under sand, so it wouldn’t be able to use electroreception and find prey. How does it know where Bikini Woman (or anyone) is? Also, how does it breathe? How does it swim? Why would it evolve to swim in sand, when it could evolve to better hunt seals? Sharks don’t even think humans taste good, so why-

   Sorry about that, it was getting long. RATING: 2. Blah. 

   Now THAT’S what I’m talking about! 

    Really, where do I begin? This is incredible. Cathartic. Powerful. From the very original name to the beautifully rendered detail, this has watered my crops, cured my loneliness, etc etc etc. The title is a rich scarlet, and it’s luminescent against the crashing waves. Sure, the tagline describes Jurassic Shark as a “dinosaur from the deep” even though dinosaurs are reptiles, but I can excuse that.   

    Jurassic Shark is a looker for sure. He (Pretty sure it’s a he) has a huge, cavernous mouth framed by excellent teeth. (Again, no offense to snaggletooth sharks.) He’s the focal point, as he should be. A primordial emotion simmers in his handsome black eyes: hangriness. He’s presumably been dormant for a while, so of course he’d swallow the nearest big thing in hopes of sating a hunger too big for this time period. Around him, the ocean froths and convulses. Rain pours down from the heavens, signaling the arrival of this Cetus-like, deific megalodon. I may need some cold water, it’s just that good.

     Of course, there’s a Bikini Woman, wearing a bikini in the middle of a storm for some reason. She’s jumping off a boat, apparently preferring to drown rather than experience the honor of being consumed by Jurassic Shark. Rusty flames pour from the mangled boat, highlighted by glittering sparks. Take notes, Mega Shark. This is an excellent orange-blue contrast. A helicopter hovers just above Jurassic Shark, helpfully illuminating his many scrapes and scratches. I find myself unable to stop staring at this. 

RATING: 5. A modern masterpiece. It feels unfair to judge this against the others.

I was planning on putting Dinoshark here, but then I learned that the movie’s subject is not a dino or a shark. It’s a pliosaur. So you’ll have to stick with Shark Exorcist.

     Anyway, this poster shows the presumable Shark Exorcist, who is surprisingly not wearing a bikini. Clad in an oily black exorcist outfit, he lifts up a cross glowing with a divine power. His pose seems to say, Get smote, you hideous burnt toast! Take a swim in some holy water.

   Said burnt toast is the shark. His skin is charred and peeling, cracking open to reveal red-hot flesh. Probably representing one of the seven deadly sins. Or it’s a metaphor for getting a sunburn. Demon Shark is hocking up a big fiery spitball, and he’s bursting out of the… sand? Water? Who knows.

    Actually, this particular shark is a mere puppet piloted by the Devil. The big guy, Satan himself. Sharks are often demonized in the media, and this movie really went the extra mile! I feel bad for the shark, though. 

    Above the shark/Devil, the tagline reads: SATAN HAS JAWS. I’m kind of confused by this message. So before possessing a shark, Satan didn’t have jaws? Interesting. The whole poster has no visual contrast so it just seems like a burnt orange mess. The color scheme could work, but it doesn’t here. 

 RATING: 2.5

   Ah, yes. Jaws, the big snappy mother of all low-quality shark movies. The actors hated each other and the animatronic shark kept breaking, but they still managed to make a film that gets paraphrased over and over, as exemplified by the low-budget movies I already discussed. 

    But then a terrible thing happened. Jaws tried to paraphrase itself. The resulting sequels are widely regarded as paragons of horrible selachian fiasco films. One of the most infamous is Jaws: The Revenge. Let’s see whether the poster is as bad as the movie. 

   At first glance, it’s nicely put together. The colors are crisp and saturated. I bet I could taste those blues if I licked my screen enough. Which I might, just to feel something. Anything. I also like how they replaced the A in Jaws with the shark’s snout. This shark doesn’t have time for your franchise name. It’s suffered through some horrible, no-good, very bad sequels. (Assuming it’s the same shark the whole time. I haven’t watched the sequels.) The whole poster has this really nice painterly aesthetic. Nice lighting and shading, too. You can see the sparkling water droplets as they crash onto the boat. But Why Did They Write The Tagline Like This? It Looks Kinda Weird With The Rest Of The Poster. Still, “This Time It’s Personal” is absolutely iconic. One of the greatest taglines ever written. I will use it as a positive affirmation when I’m feeling bad, it’s just that awesome and motivational. 

     The foreground looks cool. It’s a pivoting boat with a similarly diagonal blonde on top of it, grabbing an oversized toothpick. The cerulean waters ripple as she prepares to face off against the dashing Carcharodon carcharias splashing around in the water. Not much else to say there, let’s move on to the shark.

     The shark is great, just fantastic. It’s clearly a great white and I LOVE the sharp layered teeth. Just look at those pearly whites. Amazing. It jumps out of coruscating waves, presumably to invite Blonde Lady for a swim. Its eyes reflect the red letters surrounding it. Nice touch. 

RATING: 5. Awful movie, great poster.

  Okay, this poster is not as bad as it could have been. I’m still not sure whether it’s a sequel to 5-Headed Shark Attack (“You can’t SURVIVE the FIVE!”). It probably is. How that shark keeps growing heads is anyone’s guess. 

    So, this poster shows a wobbling boat, exploding in a spray of orange Cheeto dust. A Bikini Woman jumps overboard (again), because she’s anti-Cheetos? I’m not sure. It’s not like jumping off will do anything in this situation. It’ll probably get her eaten faster. 

     The title leaves little to interpret, and the tagline is a brilliantly poetic stroke of genius (as usual). A shark head bites off part of the A in ATTACK. I’ve found this sort of thing is very common in shark movie posters. Sharks just don’t have time for your titles. 

     Each shark head is very busy consuming a mangled person (or letter). I’m amazed by this poster’s homage to Goya; namely, his painting Saturn Devouring His Son. The poster draws upon the unsettling feeling shown in the first artwork, giving it a unique spin by making Saturn the six-headed shark. Limbs dangle from each mouth as the creature goes into a frenzy. It contrasts nicely with the tropical colors and blast of cheese powder. Normally I’d wonder how a six-headed shark digests several people from several heads, but since it’s obviously symbolic I’ll let it slide. 

    Still, the whole poster is kind of a mess. Who thought a six-headed shark was a great idea for an on-budget movie? It seems rather jarring and schlocky, what with the heads all having the same pose and expression. 

RATING: 3.5. Not bad, but not excellent. Okay, I may have picked too many posters.

   This is the last one on the list, and everything’s coming full circle now. Remember Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, and how the two creatures seemed rather cuddly? According to this poster, they got really cuddly, and now their child is learning the family trade.

    Okay, that’s not true. Apparently the titular Sharktopus was “created for the military,” but that doesn’t matter. Mega Shark/Giant Octopus is canon! Observe their hybrid child, with his glossy skin and random spikes around his gills. Just look at those tentacles. Yes, technically they’re arms. But still, just look at the way they loop around Bikini Woman’s leg as she attempts to look afraid. Notice the way she puts her hand in Sharktopus’s mouth. It keeps happening! (I jest. The Sharktopus OTP is Sharktopus/Whalewolf.) Passion gleams in his dark eyes, while Bikini Woman stares at his mouth in slack-jawed fascination.  

   The background is a nice contrast to the dark allure of the scene. It’s a plasticky turquoise ocean that shines under an unseen sun, a backdrop to the incredible CGI happening before us. It’s just so excellent. Sharktopus looks like he’s been dipped in clear varnish, and his mottled, bruise-colored tentacles allude to his tumultuous youth. It also alludes to the fact that he’s part octopus, and octopuses are awesome. I know I say that about a lot of things, but octopuses are mind-explodingly incredible. The idea of a shark/octopus hybrid is a gift from the Muses themselves, delivered to whatever mystic prophet was brave enough to make this film and subsequent poster. 

RATING: 4.5. Very cool.

That brings us to the end of my list. I hope you enjoyed our dive into the selachian fine arts. It’s important to note that I don’t condone the mistreatment or endangerment of sharks. Despite what these movies may communicate, sharks are not demonic and bloodthirsty. The biggest one isn’t even carnivorous! Plus, meat-eating sharks dislike the taste of human flesh. Most “attacks” were the shark taking a nibble, then spitting the person out! These low-quality shark movies have been criticized for making more people hate and fear sharks. I encourage anyone reading this to actually learn stuff about sharks because they are cool.

     Still, these posters will live on as shining examples of what happens when some guy named Spielberg says, “You know what would freak people out? SHARKS,” and then everyone else agrees. These posters are surprisingly deep and artistic. They form an entire galaxy of 1-star reviews, shining brightly amidst the murky “high-budget” shark movies. Who knows, Sharknado may well outshine The Meg in a few years! Let me know if there are other schlocky masterworks I can review. I’m always on the lookout for modern classics.