#its a good thing but im very very nervous | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

orbees · 4 months ago

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well. orbee got job.

#its a good thing but im very very nervous #its a shitty job but its a job. something to get me started.#virtual memories

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inkskinned · 2 years ago

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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

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hellomagicalsouls · 5 months ago

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david got a teeny umbrella tattooed. i love him. i love them all

they're all so proud of what they've created and i love it so much! im gonna miss this show. it's definitely taught me what not to do in life but also it's sweet to see people try again when the cards are stacked against them.

ive met so many friends through this show and because of this show only and im very thankful to it and to my new friends who are the coolest people ever.

goodbye hargreeves siblings, you've done good ✨

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #the umbrella academy s4 #umbrella academy s4 #tua s4 #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #lila hargreeves #theyre dumb and dysfunctional but god damn it they try #im very emotional over them and the show ending #its been such a good one and ive loved it #excited to see how things play out but im severely nervous and PRAYING that my bingo card is wrong

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applecranberryjuice · 5 months ago

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Something something it's a metaphor. Hair as a form of communication but also as passage of time and also as a way for letting people in and also as a detail etc etc you get it

Actual explanation in the tags btw

I'm really nervous about this comic actually, is not the best. It doesn't make sense, and the art is mid, but I put love in it and I think that's enough

#sbg #sbg (webtoon)#aiden clark #aiden sbg #ashlyn sbg #ben clark #ben sbg #logan sbg #taylor sbg #tyler sbg #school bus graveyard #hey full pages #hey its a comic oh my god its a comic #hi hi hi #really nervous about this thing actually becuase its not very good but i have mkre content lined up #so i dont mind one shitty thing breaking contaiment #metaphors about hair and about allowing people in via innocuous mundane things #watch canon explain the hair color thing and watch me cry about it #the concept is actually not communicated alright #so ill put it here #Roots as in finding his place with these people #because even if theyre running for their lives all the time #they are friends yk? and he loves them #across the comic you can see so clearly that Aiden loves every single one of them and that to someone who travels a lot and probably #struggles emotionally the act of “putting down roots” must be hard #so his hair here is a representation of his roots growing deep into the people he loves and the things they do together #and the last dialogue is meant as a way to let THEM see that he trusts them #but idk i wrote it but i dont know what im talking about #make your own interpretation i think thats more fun #berry art

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daily-hanamura · 1 year ago

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#p4 #persona 4 #p4d #persona 4 dancing all night #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #actually low key obsessed with naoto's comment - conversationally adept but terrible at making speeches #personally i would say yosukes not even capable at conversation half the time with his foot in mouth disease #but i wonder if it was because naoto was even worse at conversation therefore making yosuke seem good in comparison #BUT it had me thinking about that time where naoto mentioned yosuke had told naoto that they could be oblivious to other peoples feelings #and then i think about all the private conversations between yosuke and yu and i wonder if yosuke is actually just #pretty good at 1-1 conversations but awful in bigger group setting #and im not saying its my Yosuke-Puts-Up-An-Act-For-Others agenda coming into play again but with i think in a large group setting its just #a little harder to do so #i think yosuke is very sensitive as an individual and he still struggles with saying the right things #but especially in settings where a number of people are watching him talk #he starts to fumble and trips over himself quickly #especially when people start teasing him #because he's started referring to his peers with honorifics becauses hes nervous #but also teddie bullying yosuke like “favourite disappointment” i think teddie means “favourite” more but yosuke only hears disappointment #thinking about how it sticks with him in p4d because when he does a good dance one of his lines are “not such a disappointment after all!”#oh my god yosuke.....#he's good with his queue

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fishyfishyfishtimes · 3 months ago

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I discovered just how brainrotted I am today with one simple trick! This same whiplash-inducing scenario has repeated about a dozen times now:

#no just kidding criticism is good and i love getting it i am just continuously reminded of it and it makes me...#hard to describe. it makes my body go “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and its both a very anxious feeling and a giddy happy feeling #but it makes me feel like i could take flight just about now #never quite realised how much i think about. characters. before now because my mind goes back to that same thing #then again i am full of nervous energy in general these days... i am making a thing and it makes me very happy #ahh codddd anyway. anyway. im glad im getting out of my comfort zone. i dont want to be hanging out there forever #i dont want to live a life where i only wistfully wonder what people may say or think about things i put my creative passion into #i want to create and i want to share and i want to make something the best it could be! the absolute best version of it #i dont want to be so flight-y and secretive forever thats no fun >:O #my art #not fish

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nomidreams · 3 months ago

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god i finally watched new episodes my honest reaction is jgiwoaoKzmxmkwkakkak

#it kinda doesnt feel real for me idk why #like i do not actually process all of it??#tho I DO have ideas and thinking i did pay attention #maybe i've just had a wild day i guess #but also oh god vex'ahlia broke my heart #twice #first time were when scanlan was talking how he couldn't be at two places at the same time to help 'em and she said nobody gives a fuck #i feel so bad for scanlan rn i love him #haven't watched campaing to the bard's lament yet but oh fuck im too spoiled i do know what happens where (a little bit)#the second time was when she said she really cares for percy i started crying at that moment #also im a lil bit disappointed cuz i thought we would get percys death and vex's spech but we got “i open the door completly naked” scene ->#and im very happy we got it like oh wow i didn't expect that #but idk im just a girl and i love percahlia's slowburn #since i watched 64 eps of actual campaign it become hard for me to not compare campaign and tlovm cuz obviosly its very different #but with percahlia in tlovm we don't have hours and hours of campaign context #(we don't have percy making her arrows)#and i understand why cuz 100+ streams 3+ hours each is one thing and animated series with 12 eps of 25 minutes is another #but as i said previosly it is very hard for me to not compare it #by the way i do think changes in tlovm make sense #cuz like?? i think vex is more sharpy in tlovm than in campaign?? like #like she punced scanlan in first season and in campaign they are kinda good friends and i really love them??#*punched #and i think she's more ?? bossy i guess?? idk how to put it into words but in my head it makes sense “i open the door completly naked” ->#goes earlier than “i shouldve told you its yours” cuz shes playing pretend even more than in campaign???#acts like its casual when its actually isnt AT ALL #and im glad percy said “what is it i want” to vex cuz its kinda like that scene in campaign when percy talked to vax #when he called them all family for the first time and said he's trying to find what he wants in life #i love percy and vax dynamic btw #i wanted to write even more here but apparently i can do only 30 tags wtf #they want me to actually write posts oh no. hate to put it all in tags but im too nervous abt posting on the internet

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arsenicflame · 4 months ago

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tomorrow is babies first pride.... ah im so nervous!

#(baby has been out in some capacity for 12 years at this point)#nyxtalks #im nervous about the whole. deal but also just. some information has been more of a pain to find than it should have been #and i dont know what to expect and i dont even really have full control over my own actions which is usually my coping mechanism #so im starting to get anxiety jitters #itd be way less bad if i knew exactly what my plan was. how i was getting there. where to go. etc but thats not clear #so i cant even comfort myself with that exact plan to deal with crowds and uncertainty about even being there #(and a fresh dose of not NB enough! yay)#the only thing i can genuinely control is what i wear and im not sure ive made good choices with that #i mean its cute but very out of my comfort zone and perhaps. setting myself up to overheat #augh

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raven-cl · 1 year ago

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I need a soulmate au where when the youngest one in the couple turns a certain age they switch bodies and in order to get back in their own they have to touch their soulmate with harringrove and when they realize its the other theyre like "?! Not this fucking guy man >:/" especially after the byers and theyve just been bickering with each other ever since but once they realize and start hanging out theyre like huh...this is actually quite nice and come around to the idea of being each other's soulmates

#im planning on writing this at some point 😖#but I've got other stuff on the brain to write first !!#but eventually i will probably #also kinda wanna do it with hellcheer #where chrissys like a little frightened of the fact that its eddie due to his reputation and stuff #but once she like properly meets and talks to him she thinks hes very cute #eddies incredibly nervous about chrissy but he thinks he makes a good impression going based on how much shes laughing and smiling #anyways #enough ranting #billy hargrove #billy stranger things #steve harrington #steve stranger things #harringrove #stranger things #rambles

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kn11ves · 6 months ago

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my comic is live right now!

kyle and rex is an absurdist drama set in a stagnant afterlife where everyone lies, cheats, manipulates, and hurts each other in order to gain political power and admiration from the public.

with characters constantly haunted by ghosts of the past, trying to stay on top of the food chain despite constant betrayals and having their secrets held up above their heads, comes back kyle, from his long stay back as a guiding spirit on earth, to take back reigns of the throne in the inbetween. though much like everyone else, hes got a long list of dirty laundry that many are aching to reveal. there are no real friends here.

⸻

updates every 2 weeks, at 6:30 pm central US time! (SP & ENG)

WEBTOON: english link + spanish link

TAPAS: english link + spanish link

FANEO: spanish link

#HI. GUYS. PUKES EVERYWHERE #im SO FUCKING NERVOUS #oh but first of all the link on top is a link to the promotional animation that goes along with the airing of my comic :) so if you want to #watch that you can. smile #anyways im just. really beyond excited and also terrified to start. cus you know #once i upload this theres no going back and im going to be constantly then publishing project after project thereafter and thats pretty muc #what ive been wanting to do all my life #so im just like this is the start of it this is going to set everything into motion!!!#im not expecting to get a ton of followers or readers or anyhting this soon specially since i think it starts to get GOOOOOD #after you learn some context but this is my first first original launch and im really excited!!!!!#i usually dont do this because i dont find it very important to me not as much as telling a really good story at least but obviously i have #tons of trans and lgbt just entire rainbow up in there and the majority of the characters #are not white they are from different cultures AND times #so if youre looking to read brown and queer stories by authors of the same there is that #anyone is fully welcomed to send any asks with questions or anything whatsoever!!!#i know its sort of a long post but as a notice i will be reblogging this every time i finish an entire new chapter #to keep people aware!!! c: i know it may be a bit annoying but i just want to get the word out !!#if youre bilingual i think it would be fun to see the differences between the translations i put i translated it myself since spanish is my #first language and well i think is funney :3 #smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#kyle and rex #my comic #webtoon #tapas #faneo #what do people tag these things wif.....#my art #technically!#i supourse ill have to rb it to my art blogs too yipee!!!

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rosenbergamot · 9 months ago

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im writing an au where scar wasnt one of the founding members of boatem and just Pops up one day w his huge wagon, disturbing the very foundation of the village with his salesman grin, and initially it seems hes trying to start an industry there but hes really just running from his fucked up past and trying to make a living and let me just say that NOBODY in universe is enjoying this (he is getting rocks thrown at him by the boatem crew)

#its also just like an alternate universe in general #im imagining he did some very shady deals and now he is being hunted for sport #but he just cant resist the urge to try and sell something to people so hes like “wanna buy my. crystals” to boatem #and theyre like boooo tomato tomato #when he gets nervous he just starts selling shit its in his nature #he doesnt even mean to at this point like hes trying to make a good impression but he just tore down trees with his wagon by accident #bro ruined their farms and they are NOT pleased about it and he is sweating bullets and they are throwing rocks at him #i hate boatem i try to live there and everyone throws rocks at me and screams leave white boy leave #anyways eventually he gets two boyfriends bc they realize Ah. Hes just got many things wrong with his brain. thats actually very attractive #we r at like 6500 words with this. still first chapter territory #bashing head on wall i am not immune to writing new fics about gtws #rosie talks #hermitblr

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13eyond13 · 2 years ago

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Sometimes I still think about how sweet it was when that anon checked on me last year when I was posting overly dark jokes. Thank you whoever you were, that was kind

#i am so much better now but last year was a bad one for me #there was a time in the fall where i literally couldn't get out of bed just because it felt pointless #anyway my mom also forced me to make a doctors appointment and luckily my doctor is super kind and got me on a good medication #but it also was just from stuff like losing my job struggling in school and going through the hurricane etc #im just so glad that i was pushed through that by concerned folks because im enjoying life much better now and that wasnt that long ago #anyway if you're struggling badly right now pls know its not hopeless #reach out for the help youre given and try to see yourself as worth it to fight for #take it little steps at a time #celebrate the small victories like having a shower or taking a walk or answering a call #the best thing for me other than the doctor was just finding ways to be around other people more #instead of feeling defeated i had to think of ways i could fix the loneliness that was affecting me so much #i had to get proactive like i started volunteering and started a book club etc #also i just made myself be very honest with the friends i already had about my struggles and it helps with feeling closer to them #and less alone in it all #because its not that uncommon to have those kinds of struggles and it helps other people open up about their own or just know how you are #the hardest things to do were the most rewarding things in the end #volunteering gave me a reason to get out of the house meeting new people and trying new things and feeling good about myself and #i had to remind myself that i was able to offer things of value and that other people like having me around actually #like the book club is something my friend group looks forward to so much and made new friends through and i started that!#even though i was nervous about it and didnt know if theyd like it at all #other people need you just as much as you need them and thats the truth bby #p

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july-19th-club · 1 year ago

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the thing about drugs is that while i have a genetic history of fairly addictive tendencies and therefore it probably wouldnt be a good idea to get into anything too dangerous anyway, i know i myself am not likely to ever really have to worry about the temptation simply bc im too embarrassed to get high. like i dont want to meet that person and almost certainly nobody else does either. so i just dont do drugs not because they're drugs, i dont think drugs, conceptually, practically, are embarrassing or, like, ontologically morally wrong or whatever. i think they're fine and more power to those who can enjoy them, hopefully safely. but i personally cannot get high just bc i couldn't stand for anybody to see me acting silly

#personal self-control is very important to me its a whole thing #largely because when im sober i dont exactly have it so its like. why would i on purpose make it worse . for a good time?#i CANT have a good time. what if im too uninhibited????? incroyable. or whatever #so i drink but never enough to be sillydrunk and i dont get high because i dont want to be observed by others while high #ridiculous #q #like in college my friend group was largely composed of stoners etc as one would expect in an arts program #i have known ppl who have a healthy relationship to the drugs they do consume #i have known ppl who have had an unhealthy one and had to stop for their well-being #but i have simply never started bc with the exclusion of occasional alcohol and like. periodically caffeine. unless im in a decaf phase #i simply am too nervous to even contemplate the chemicals #thats also why it took me twenty-eight years to get on an ssri but whatever

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discountskeppy · 1 year ago

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hii... do you have any thoughts on fugo (jjba)... lost potential? or was he best left aside? character analysis, importance in the part's theme, things about his stand... do you like him or not... anything at all ... please? <3

YES I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS!!

so i think fugo is lost potential, but i dont think its a bad thing. in fact, fugo having potential he doesnt live up to as a character in a story is a very interesting mirror to his backstory... fugo is incredibly smart, he got into university at thirteen!! he had an exremely promising life, but that all got thrown away, and then he has to spend the rest of his life in a gang!! fugo as a person has so much missed potential, but him as a character has it in an entirely different way. and i think thats interesting to think about.

i dont hate the fact that he left the gang. it's perfectly in character for him, as much as he might care about the other main characters, he is really just a scared teenager who knows he should be doing better in life. (and, from a writing perspective, there just wouldnt reallly be anywhere to put him, yknow? there wasnt much he could have done really..) what i AM glad didnt happen though is him betraying giorno and helping the boss kill him. that WOULD have been too sad.

i love his stand. just, in general, and also for what it does to his character. stands that have their own quirks and personalities are my favoriteee and also its design and power is really cool. i think its nature as an ultra destructive stand, and fugo's use (or lack thereof) of it tell us a lot about him. the stand's extremely dangerous powers kind of remind me of the hand, purple haze in the hand both have powers to just straight up murder people extremely easily. but they both have extreme consequences to the people they actually care about. they know this, and their stands are never used. i really like thinking about stand usage in relation to characters' personalities, it really can tell you a lot about them.

#i havent finished purple haze feedback yet so sadly i cant talk about that...#when i do tho i will make a post on it i think #its hard for me to talk about things like themes.. theyve never been something i could really understand beyond a surface level #as always thank u very much for giving me avenues to talk about jojo its my favorite thing to do #i hope my understanding of him isnt totally wack..#posting character stuff like this makes me kinda nervous that ive misunderstood something or got something wrong #but i think im doing good so far #need to analyze stand usage more ugh its so interesting

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act11as · 2 years ago

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a poorly drawn series of events in my current spearmaster run