#its a LOT to not be halfway done yet
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earlyspringtranscendence · 2 years ago
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currently 500 pages into rhythm of war, am enjoying the things im enjoying very deeply (mostly shallan and adolin. and veil and radiant and shallan’s dynamics. and kal but thats easy because he’s my favourite character and besides isn’t even hitting that hard in this one its just that everything he does is everything to me) but so much of it also is just such a slog and idk if it’s me because i usually set aside a day to read like 80% of the book in one go or if it’s the fact that a friend has now also read stormlight and shared some opinions w me that i dont disagree with or if its the book itself but like. navani is such a boring POV character and adolin’s reduction down to his fashion sensibilities is a snore and the bridgemen are practically absent so kal doesn’t even have anyone to endear him even more to me and even venli’s just too like. cautious to have anything going for her. like fr the only person i don’t have any sort of a complaint towards as of rn is shallan
#it doesnt help tht i wanna be in shadesmar and instead am in the tower while it is getting invaded like girl i dont wanna say that idc#but idc#and also ok i never read the lift novella but then i dont believe in having to have read novellas to follow along the main plot#at least not how it works in publishing rn#but like. ok maybe she's still coming but how is she just not gonna sneak onto the mission to shadesmar#how is she so unimportant when even just the way she was introduced back in .. words of radiance maybe? or oathbringer doesnt rly matter#but even that was so different & broke such a routine that it makes her stick out in my mind#and now she's just sorta left by the wayside#like omg snore ! im sorry but like i just deeply dont care about dalinar and navani's chapters so like why arent those replaced by her#recently read#its also like . i do love these books but come on im 500 pages in thats not even half#that usually would bring me such joy but because so many of these chapters are making me wanna just put the book down#its a LOT to not be halfway done yet#like and all of this wouldnt matter if i just put the book down and came back to it later#but that wouldn't work out great bc then i forget what happened and also now i have that friend who just finished rhythm of war#and i wanna be able to talk to her about it even tho i am prtty sure we read these books entirely differently#PLUS i wanna get into more of the cosmere which yk i can do that without reading stormlight bc everything else is like#written before stormlight. but still i just wish it was easier to skimread sections and not miss huge chunks
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bacchuschucklefuck · 28 days ago
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caps from comic Im doing
#not art yet. sorta#yeah that's one piece#outing myself this year as a sanji enjoyer#idk what compelled me to come back here (that's a lie I know 100% and it's haterism) but I did finally sit down and put down#this idea I've sat on for a Long time. bc I think I just. finally feel ready for it#or rather. both it and myself have been worn down and moulded enough by just. time passing. to be able to sit with each other in peace#but yeah I'm now neck deep in this (almost halfway thru inking!!) and Im learning a Lot#whatever u say abt one piece oda is a Phenomenal comic artist. one piece art-wise is dense on a level that makes me feel insane#like you barely see more than one type of screentone used and it's mostly to separate planes. its Just Ink. its fucked up#and drawing this comic is forcing me to show up on my a-game on a craft level as well. I love so much a Large part of it so far#comic is good guys. did u guys know that has anyone said this before#but yeah this one will! probably get posted to my main blog when the posting version is done. which is why I said in the prev ask#that the spheres might intersect soon lol#Im aware this is a stupid way to go about it if u look at it from a marketing/advertising angle. but thats not what Im here for#Im showing u cool bugs I made basically. and when the exhibit happens its gonna have mostly nothing to do with this#but yeah. if u see a comic with these caps in it in the future u will Know#otherwise we keep up kayfabe yeah? for fun. for comfort
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kirisclangen · 8 months ago
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Zelda
She/her, 65 moons, cis molly
#Zelda (cat)#<- so it doesn't go in the fandom tags of the game lmao#Loner#honeyclan#<- the save file she's from. I'm gonna say she lives nearest to them#warrior cats oc#warriors oc#kiri’s clangen#clangen#She also doesn't have the chest spot on her sprite but I thought she looked better with it so. Y'know#I made her fur so massive but I need it to be known that the rest of her is massive as well. She's jut very large#also I HAVE RETURNED TO THIS BLOG!!! Can't say how regular activity here will be but I'm queueing this on thursday to go up on friday#and I've got three more finished cats to go up the three days after that. We'll see how many more I draw before the queue runs out#I'm doing hermit-a-day-may over on my main blog and I'm coming up on the end of the schoolyear so I may be mostly swamped until summerish#but I'd like to pick back up with posting these during the summer. I have some ideas for a comic that I'd like to do but I haven't written-#-it out yet becuase I want to get these designs done first and I think I'm about halfway through all the cats I have? across 5 different-#-clans two of which are very large so. Mass extinction events will be on once I start playing moons again!!#anyways sorry for rambling but I'm very proud of my next few designs. I think I've found a good method for doing them quickly. It involves-#-using actual reference images for the poses lmao#EDIT I lied I'm not even close to halfway#I've got 66 out of 181 done meaning I have 115 left#jesus fucking christ ITS FINE it's fine it's just a lot. not a problem though#I can pick up the pace after this next month or two#it's chill
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marblerose-rue · 1 year ago
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wahaha sneak peek!!
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fefairys · 1 year ago
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i will finish this fucking fanfic if it kills me. i can do this.
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clowningaroundmars · 8 months ago
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this lil story i'm workin on about miles42 has gotten out of CONTROL
my first draft is already well over 15k words long now?? 😭😭
this was just supposed to be a quick lil story? bang it out, be done with it?!?!
what is wrong with me
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regardtheinnocent · 1 month ago
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Ororon x male reader who is delighted with his little ears and wings?? This emo boy is too cute, and what if reader abuses his cute features during sex.I am sure that he will blush a lot from such attention! I love him too much. 😔
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Contains: Dom!GN!Reader, Sub!Ororon, Lots of position changing 😅, Teasing (character receiving), Penetration (character receiving), reader has a cock/strap on, Ororon being a cutie pie, safeword exists but isn't referenced *note: I love him too, I fear that I'm a sucker for emo & bat characters haha.
Your hands drift to fondle Ororon's soft ears as they often do. You gently press your thumb, pointer and middle fingers together and begin rubbing them, finding it amusing that the poor farmer instantly quieted down.
"These ears of your's are sooo soft, love. I could pet them all day." You hum to him, choosing to ignore the current predicament that you were both in.
What was said predicament?
Well, you were buried deep in the poor thing, much too deep— he might add. You had him all sprawled out on your bed, his marked up and shaking thighs thrown over your shoulders.
Ororon swore his eyes rolled back slightly when you leaned forward to get a better angle to touch his ears. The sudden shift in movement made you press so much deeper, your tip felt like it was bullying his prostate at this point.
A weak squeal left the man's lips he tried his very best to shy away from your touch.
Not that you let him, of course.
No, you just had to move one of your hands down to his waist and hold him still. Fuck, Ororon was seeing stars.
"Mm.. God, pl—please [Name], you don't need to touch— Ah! them.." The farmer slurred back as he tried to keep his eyes open as best he could.
"Too deep— hngh ugh.." Ororon whined as you moved yet again. It was cute that the little bat was acting so shy all of a sudden.
Though, Ororon's wings flapped uselessly at his sides, prompting you to move your hand from his waist to hold onto one of them.
Gently, naturally. You didn't want to hurt him, after all.
"Its so hard not to though, sweetheart. And these wings that are fluttering around are just too tempting.." You reply as a slight smirk adorns your lips.
Ororon just shakes his head as he attempts at keeping his embarrassingly needy moans at bay. Which he fails at.
Then, you begin to move your hips again. You pull out halfway before pushing back in, watching as your baby goes cross eyed in an instant.
"You've been too chatty, angel. I must not be doing my job good enough, hmm?" You tease as Ororon manages to weakly kick at your back with his heels.
It was involuntary, really. He was just too stimulated and didn't know what to do.
When you left his ears alone for a moment, the farmer breathed a sigh of relief— only for said breath to turn into a squeal when you take his legs in your hands and fold him in half.
Though, once you've got him bent nicely, you only bother to use a single hand to hold both of his calves together.
You were doing an amazing job at bullying the poor thing with your body, watching him fall apart as you grabbed one of his wings.
"Nooo— Hnghh- ah! S'too muchh..." Ororon slurs out in a whiny voice as his mind melted more and more.
You gave his bat wing a gentle tug in response. You, of course, make sure not to be too rough when doing so.
Though, it was rough enough for the farmer to arch his back as cum shot out of his cock without warning. He let out his loudest squeal yet, which was really quite embarrassing in pitch.
Oh... his face is so pretty when he comes. It always is.
You paused for a moment, before a nice smile spread across your face. You weren't done with Ororon yet, not when you'd just made him finish from a wing tug. Oh no no no.
Instead, you flip him on his tummy for easier access to his pretty wings.
"Whu— [Name]-! I just caAAH—" You interrupt your darling mid sentence by promptly gripping both of his wings by the base and using them for leverage to fuck back into his hole.
All poor Ororon can do is claw and grab at the pillows and sheets in a desperate but vain attempt to ground himself.
You snap your hips forward over and over again as you feel your lover tighten around you. Its like he wants to keep you inside, how adorable.
Ororon can feel the burn of overstimulation settling in quite quickly, after all you're fucking him like an animal.
Though, he can only sob into the pillows as he feels the coil in his tummy tighten again, getting ready to snap again.
"Ple— Please!" Ororon all but begs as his cock rubs against the sheets, giving him more feelings that he can't handle.
"You can cum again, can't you, baby? Yeah.. you can do it." You coo back in a jarringly soothing voice, one that made the poor thing want to relax despite everything.
So he simply nods into the pillows as you continue plowing him from behind, and eventually, he shoots another load right against the previously soiled sheets.
"Goodd boy..." You groan as you tug on his wings, getting him to let out a few more spirts of cum before finally letting him rest.
You pull out slowly and your hands switch to tenderly rubbing over the bases of the farmer's wings, easing the soreness that would likely form in the coming hours.
"You did so good for me." You murmur and Ororon responds with a weak purr.
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mingi-s-dimples · 4 months ago
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Crave me - yunho
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pairing: bf!yunho x gf fem!reader
rating: 18+, bdsm
genre: romance, bdsm, filthy smut (mdni ty)
summary: The bratty attitude you had with him didn't last long.. as he leaves his patience at the table and destroys you.
WC: 3.5k
warnings: rough/strict dom!yunho, bratty sub fem!reader, bdsm, choking, neck kink, sucking, blowjob, making out, tying up, pet names (darling, babe, love, pretty boy, sweetie, sweetheart), degradation kink (slut, cumslut, whore), praise kink, slapping/spanking, both vaginal and anal, use of bdsm attire (cuffs, blindfold, rope), use of toys (vibrator), sense deprivation (blindfold), little bit of hand kink, punishing, edging, creampie, ruined orgasms, multiple rounds, deals (but Yunho feels cocky and he said fuck the deal), cum cum cum a lot of cummm, squirting, mentions of safe word but never used (reader is a brat), cum eating, big dick!yunho, overstim, backshots, unprotected (REMEMBER TO WRAP UP IRL !), completely consesual !, for sure forgot something.
Author's Note: SO ! When I first started writing this fic, several day ago, I didn't intend to make it this.. filthy. But.. my lovely bestie rated the roughness in the other 3 fics I have posted an average of 8.sth/10 and I took that as a CHALLENGE. Hope you like it, Lis, love you sweetie. Another small note: WHY AREN'T THERE MORE BDSM FICS OUT THERE HELLO? I'M A SUCKER FOR THEM !
Update, Lis: okay, even though i saw some paragraphs before this was published, i was still taken off guard by this. i’m taking back my words, roughness level 10/10, WHEN I TELL YOU I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK AND BREATHE. seriously i love this fic sm and bia you are so talented, you never fail to amaze me❤️❤️ please keep going with your work, i love youu<3 ( i’m still waiting for a demon joong fic 👹👹👹 ) - my answer: the demon joong fic is alr in my drafts, halfway done.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction & does not represent in any way the reality of the member.
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The grand dining hall was a symphony of opulence and elegance, its high vaulted ceilings adorned with intricate plasterwork and crystal chandeliers casting a warm, golden glow over the scene. Rich tapestries hung from the walls, their deep hues of burgundy and gold complementing the polished mahogany of the round, small dining tables. As the guests settled into their seats, the gentle strains of a string quartet drifted through the air, mingling with the soft clinking of fine glasses and the murmur of animated conversation.
At one end of the table you were sitting at, the host, Park Seonghwa raised his glass in a toast, his voice resonant and filled with the gravitas of tradition. Across from him, Hongjoong's laughter rang out, light and melodious, adding a delicate counterpoint to the music. The aroma of roasted meats and rich sauces wafted from the platters being served, each dish a masterpiece of culinary art. Conversations flowed like the wine, moving from the latest societal gossip to philosophical musings, as the guests, dressed in their finest evening attire, engaged in a dance of words and wit.
In this setting, every detail was meticulously curated to create an atmosphere of refined luxury and cultural sophistication. Yet, beneath the surface of this carefully constructed elegance, the undercurrents of intrigue and hidden agendas were beginning to stir, promising that the evening's conviviality was only the prelude to a much deeper story.
You, a renowed and well known supermodel, were sitting right next to your husband, Jeong Yunho. He was the CEO of the agency you were modelling at.
The thing is... besides the lovey-dovey side you and Yunho always showed to the other guests and your friends, for example Seonghwa, Hongjoong and the others, the two of you had... another side to your relationship.
Your intimate relationship dynamic was quite.. the opposite of what you were showing. From light forehead kisses, hand holding and warm hugs and kisses... to cuffs, blindfolds and degradation. No one knew the real you when in private, and it made the whole thing way better.
*several minutes later*
"Ooookay, should I ask the chef to bring us some desserts? I think the dinner went really well!" Hongjoong said smiling, watching each of his guests contently. He then hovered his eyes over the whole venue, you could see the happiness flooding over him. It was the ending dinner for a really important business plan that came to a final success.
While the others were happily celebrating with the host, you and Yunho were giving each other some stares. One of the things you loved the most to do was to annoy your man. Why? Cause you knew he'd destroy you the same night. You were never allowed to do things on your own, without his permission. Things such as touching him in public, deny his own touching, dress how you'd like without his approval, because he was really jealous of needy and hungry eyes that always wanted you. Everyone had envy for him, because you were the most beautiful model in your country, the agency itself was the best one, too. But tonight.. you decided to do.. everything that annoyed him and drove him insane. You first started with a.. really nice outfit, you'd say. It was halfway see-through, high heels and silver, bold jewelry completing the look. You were wearing two pieces, a short but flowy black skirt and a white, almost translucent shirt, an elegant one. Your hair was straightened, flowing beautifully on your bare back, as the shirt you were wearing only covered your chest. A silver chain was connecting two pieces of fabric on your back, making you flinch with every slight touch, because of the sheer coldness.
"Darling.. did I ever approve of... this outfit?" Yunho whispered, one of his hands going on your thigh. You tried to deny his touch, moving his hand away, but he only dug his nails deeper into your leg. You flinched, looking at him in the eyes, with an almost innocent look.
"Oh babe... don't you like it? Damn.. I thought it looked really nice" you said sheepishly, smiling at him.
"I didn't say I don't like it but... didn't we agree that these types of visible outfits are... only for me to see, hm?" he whispered and approached your neck with his lips, slightly biting it.
"Babe.. there's people around us. What would they think of you, seeing you kissing me like that?" you said, trying to get a reaction out of him but to your surprise, he remained calm and content, biting you harder.
"Do I look like I give a fuck? You did it to yourself, love. This is the first strike of tonight.. be careful for the rest of the time. I don't feel like destroying your beautiful body when we get back in the room." Yunho said, going in for a soft kiss on your lips.
"We'll see about that, babe." you said and got up from your seat, searching with your eyes the champagne bar.
Someone came behind your back. Of course, it was Yunho, all touchy on your bare waist, as the shirt you were wearing was pretty.. short.
"Babe.. I almost forgot" he mumbled.
"What did I tell you about denying my hand, hm?" his hands hovering your back, one of them on your ass and one on the nape of your neck, slightly squeezing it. "Hm? what did I tell you, mind sharing me your reason?"
"You told me that I should... never move your hand away from myself.." you said turning around to face him. "But... what's entirely wrong with it.. pretty boy? Don't you like it when I tease you..?" you said and gave him a kiss, your hands traveling from his neck to his collarbones, then from his chest to his belt, tugging at it for a second.
"This is.." he whispered. "Strike two.. my love." One more and we're out of here.. remember the rule?" he squeezed your ass, looking right into your eyes, seeing how eager you were to fuck him right there.
Several minutes pass and you were back to your table, sitting next to each other. He effortlessly pulled your seat closer to his, making you gulp at his power and speed. Looking him in the eyes you started being all touchy with him. Started from his hands, feeling up his slender and long fingers, then to his biceps. You stayed like that for a long minute, with your head resting on his shoulder, then one of your hands went straight for his crotch, no warning.
"Yunho, everything good? Why did you flinch, is it too cold here?" Seonghwa asked, confused.
"Ah yes, everything is fine, don't worry about it" he said smiling, squeezing your thigh, his hand going to your pussy, rubbing circles through your panties from under your skirt.
 "Babe... that's strike three, if you ask me." he said and patted you on your thigh, to make you look at him. He then looked around for the exit doors and excused himself, taking your hand into his.
"Joong, we'll be back, I need to take care of something at the agency" Yunho said and then dragged you out.
And as the two of you got out the doors, there was a long empty hall, no one was there. He slammed you to the wall, one of his hands on your throat and one lifting you up. He was going towards the elevator.
"Nh- babe, where are we going? you said through the kisses.
"Just upstairs, I reserved a room for us right here. I didn't think we'd need it but... you wanted to be a little slut so it serves us good. Aren't you my little whore, hm? All down for me, I saw you eye fucking me when you were getting champagne. You wanted me to fuck you dumb tonight, mm? he said while going in the elevator.
"What did you want me to do babe, hm? Did you miss my slaps and my cuffs? You little slut, you'll see what will happen if you're being a brat with me again" and right as he said this, he held you close as he opened the door with the keycard. He closed it and he dropped you on your bed.
Some meters from the king sized bed there was a small bag, and you knew so well what there was... cuffs, blindfolds, ropes.. everything you could think of as a sub. And yes.. the relationship between you and your husband, in private, was a dom/sub one. You found out that you were both into bdsm a while ago, when Yunho didn't resist anymore and tried something new on you. You loved it and... it became a really often practice.
"Love, spread out, now." he said as he went back to get something from the bag.
You were still dressed and he was too. But you could feel yourself leaking right on the bed. You knew you left a wet spot on the dark sheets, something that turned your man on even more.
"Told you to spread the fuck out, you brat. When did you get so naughty, hm? Want me to put you in your place? he said as he spread your legs out, tying them to the bed frame. You still had your clothes on, but the skirt was lifted up and the blouse was all messed up. He ripped of your panties and threw them on the floor.
You tried to say something but didn't have time to react. He went back to the bag and took out some cuffs, then got on the bed, his crotch, still dressed, rubbing on your folds. You could feel his bulge getting bigger, his pants getting thighter as he went further to tie your hands to the headboard.
"For all of what you did tonight.. babe, you'll get punished, you know that, right? he said as he hovered his hand over your throat and collarbones. "Stay still, I'll tie a sheer blindfold to your eyes. I want you to still be able to distinguish how I destroy your little and pretty pussy." 
"Yuyu.. please. Fuck me." you pleaded, trying to look him in the eyes. Whenever he tied a blindfold on your eyes.. it turned you on so bad. You couldn't properly see what was happening nor what he was doing, preparing what to do to you.. but it was thrilling.
"Hmm... what should I start with.. pretty slut, mm? Should I just edge you until you can't take it anymore and cum out of overstimulation and exhaustion, should I make you cry and not let you cum the whole night? Should I.... fuck you and deny your orgasm how you denied my hand? Tell me, sweetheart. I need words, not muffled sounds." he confidently said, giving you a smirk and his right hand going right to your blouse, easily unbuttoning it and throwing it away on the floor.
He hastly gets rid of your bra, his groping entirely unhelpful. Large hands, slender fingers roaming your body, sliding over your nipples, pressing and nibbling at them, cupping your breasts and hoisting your legs up and around his waist. Him, still clothed, you.. only with your skirt on, if that's even important.
"Fuck, Yuyu —" you gasp when he sucks a dark bruise into the skin of your neck, while one of his hands went to his shirt. He slowly unbuttoned it, then went for his pants. He undid them halfway and pushed towards you, getting a soft moan out of your slowly rising chest, heavy breathing from all the manhandling he did on you. He was taking his time. He absolutely loved seeing you begging for his cock, squirming and moving against his crotch in wish of friction. But.. Yunho left all his patience at the door.
"Babe, how did you get me this mad, hm? Did you even think about the consequences, you little slut? If that's what you wanted.. I'll destroy you, sweetheart."
Two of his fingers trace your hole before sinking into you, curling to find the right spot. All you can do is arch your back, your moans and cries soon muffled by one of his hands, as he chokes you.
"Is this what you wanted? rile me up so I'd fuck you hard tonight? all you needed to do is ask, sweetie." Yunho said, curling his fingers right into your sweet spot, receiving some loud moans from you.
You could ask and he'd give you the moon if he could. But he was a completely different person in bed. There's something about him taking you like this, almost feral, that makes your toes curl.. could it be his fingers and how he curls them in you so good that he makes you shiver and cum, maybe squirt all over the place? would it be... his cock and how deep you feel it in you, scared that he might destroy your insides?
He fucks his fingers into you sloppily, scissoring you open with little to no care if it hurts or not. It was clear that he only had one goal in sight, and that being stretching you out just enough to be able to take his cock.
It only takes a few more strokes before he's satisfied, the blunt head of his dick prodding at your entrance, getting loud whimpers from you.
"Use the safe word if it's too much" he said and started pounding into you, making your hands rocket to the headboard, holding on for dear life. It's the only warning he gives you but.. it's enough to get an understanding on how pissed he was. He was holding so thight onto your thighs, them around his waist, that you knew you'd have bruises the next day.
"So fucking tiny" he grunts as he watches you struggle to adjust to his size "Such a whore for my cock, mhm? You take it so well... even if it destroys you. Be my cumslut, won't you? I'll edge you until you can't take it anymore."
"Y-yunho !" you shouted as he used a vibrator on your clit, arching your back at the sensation. The puffed bud he was stimulating made you feel like you'd already come, but something else happend. Your walls clenched on his cock, receiving a low grunt and as he slowed down his thrusts, he watched you contently at how you squirted all over him and the bed.
"Oh wow, already? Lucky this is the only thing I'm letting you do, you little slut" he said as he thrusted even deeper, harder, sloppier into you.
"Babe, n-no don't do th-that I might c-cum" you said as he was giving you another round of circles on your clit, feeling how overstimulated you were.
"Nope, I won't let you" he said as he stopped, pulling out of you, your hole clenching on nothing.
He started rubbing his length lazily, looking at you squirming right in front of him. You wanted to be fucked dumb, until you couldn't walk anymore. But that wasn't his plan for tonight.
"Let's make a deal. If you make me cum only with your mouth, no hands and no sucking. Just touching, licking and nibbling, I'll let you cum. Otherwise, you'll get slapped and fucked... not in your little aching pussy, but deep down in your cute and red ass, until you cry. What do you say, babe, a pretty good deal, I'd say?" he said as he uncuffed your hands, lifting you on your knees.
The thing is... you weren't quite.. on your knees. You were spread out, your aching hole rubbing on the wet and sloppy linen underneath you. You started humping it slowly, not knowing if you were allowed to, but he somehow didn't mind it. He knew you weren't able to cum only from humping on a cloth so he let you do your thing.
"Now.. be my little cumslut and get on licking." he said guiding your head to his dick, throbbing on your lips. You had your hands cuffed at your back, not being able to move them. You started kissing, nibling at the tip, getting some nice groans out of him. Then you started licking the slit, putting pressure with your tongue and licking his length all down to the base of it. The circles you always make on the tip get him from being silent to being louder, as the sloppy sounds of your tongue turns him on more.
"Yes, just like that, sweetie. A liiiittle bit more and you're getting me closer."
You started nibbling, almost like sucking on his tip.
"Yuh, mhm. Go on, make me cum, you little whore" he said as his breath started getting faster, heavier, your licks getting sloppier as he tried so hard not to cum but... you did the deal. He came all over your face, as you were not allowed to suck it.
"Good girl, such a good girl you are" he said as he wiped off his load from your face with one hand and with the other one opening your mouth, his thumb on your bottom lip. He let his cum drip onto your tongue, signaling you by raising his brows to swallow. You did as he wanted, soon sucking his fingers to get every drop of his load.
"Y'know babe.. I kinda changed my mind in between your little nibbles." he said as he turned you over, on your belly, one of his hands on the back of your throat. "You're gonna take me so well, I will make sure of it." he said as two of his fingers went in your other hole, no warnings. You moaned at the feeling of his fingers curling up inside you. The same as before, his goal was to make your hole be able to engulf his length, but this time his goal was to bottom down entirely.
"Thought you could just leave me like that?" he wraps a hand around your waist, the other one on your neck, "leave me high and dry without any repercussions? You're lucky I'll keep my promise and let you cum so... cum, you little slut." as he started pounding heavily and deeply into you.
The hand he had on your waist goes to your pussy, curling them inside you and rubbing your clit.
You shake your head at his words, the coil in your tummy tightening with every word he hisses into your ear, wetness dripping down his balls and coating them as he pounds into your ass.
Yunho could feel you clenching around his cock, knows you're close by the familiar rhythm and your muffled whines rising in pitch. He removes his thight hold on your neck, letting you turn your head around, gasping for air.
"'m so close, fuck, yunho, gonna cum —"
Your entire body tenses then slumps down against the mattress, only held up by his strong arm around your waist. Yunho fucks you through your orgasm, through the oversensitivity and the chants of your little whimpers and words.
"too much, 's too much, please, s-stop" but you never use your safe word. You whine and you cry until your limp body is pushed over the edge again, eyes rolling back while you cream his cock, the 2nd time in a short time.
"c-can't," you whimper weakly, "please cum, please — Yunho, please-"
You're begging him so sweetly, voice cracking and body at his mercy. Yunho's hips stutter and his load spills deep inside of you. Your knees buckle under his waist and you whine when the two of you stumble back, his arms wrapped around your chest, all touchy on your breasts.
"You're gonna take my cum all, you little whore. Remember what I said, being my cumslut? Now, take it" he said as he continued pounding into you, getting you over the edge. He didn't lie when he said he'd destroy you, your knees trembling as he closed the gap between the two of you. He then pulled out, pumping his length and his other hand going to your clit over your thigh, sending you shivers down your spine as you squirt once again for the night, now your body being only handled by the hand he used on you.
"What a good whore I have, mm" he mumbled as he came on your back, slowing down his pumps as he slowly puts you down on the mattress.
"See babe? What happens if you're a fucking brat?" he said as he undid the blindfold, looking at your teary eyes.
"What, by the look you have, you want more, you little slut? Is that right?" he said as he slapped your ass.
"Don't worry, I wasn't even close to being done tonight, turn around, I want you to see me fucking you this time."
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fortunxa · 6 months ago
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Blue hair, blue eyes, blue lights
Jinx x fem!reader / modern AU
summary: The chances of a blue-haired girl being chased by the cops and hopping in my car, simply yelling “Drive!” are low, but never zero.
author’s note: It’s my first time publishing a Jinx one-shot of mine, I hope you enjoy! This is a relatively new blog, so if anyone wants to become mutuals I’m definitely open to the idea! :)
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Fourteen days.
A mere two weeks stand between me and move-in day for my freshman year of college. In other words, summer break is slowly coming to an end, and I’ve done fuck all to make it memorable.
I can feel life passing me by as I watch like a bystander. Usually, the clock is my enemy—a constant reminder of my youth running out, and, shit, I’m too young to feel that way. This time, it serves as a way to free me from the shackles of the evening shift as a front desk worker at our local gym.
The clock strikes midnight, and, like a modern-day Cinderella, I jump up from my seat and make a beeline for the exit, hurriedly clocking out. I simultaneously greet and say goodbye to the night shift going in, already halfway through the small yet relatively empty parking lot. The smell of sweaty ‘gym bros’ is long forgotten as the breeze engulfs me, my dirty sneakers thudding on the concrete. The rust on my beat-up jeep shines in the moonlight as I approach—so seductive, I snicker to myself. I toss my duffel bag in the trunk, hop behind the wheel, and start the engine. I take this moment to commence my connect-phone-to-car-or-die-trying mission and thank the universe for its successful outcome. I browse a bit through the plethora of playlists before settling on the usual one, the sound of Arctic Monkeys filling the space as I leave the parking lot.
I don’t want to go home—not yet, at least—so I settle for a late-night drive. The cookie-cutter, upper-class houses pass me by as I mindlessly cruise through the clean streets—a stark contrast to my neighborhood, where you either learn to stick up for yourself or go home crying to your mama. A place where there is more sewage sludge than trees. A place where I grew up and one I learned to love.
In the midst of it all, I don’t notice the particularly nasty bump on the road that makes my song abruptly cut off. I take a right, pulling over in an alley with an annoyed groan as I resort to phase two, also known as connect-phone-back-to-car-before-I-impulsively-crash, of my initial mission. As I fiddle with the settings, showing my inner cheek no mercy as my teeth dig into their feast, a hissing and spritzing sound comes through my open window.
I think I’m imagining things at first, that post-shift fatigue surely getting the best of me, but I spot the source of the sound rather quickly: a figure, hidden almost out of sight between the fancy houses, switching between various colors of spray paint as she defaces the picture-perfect facade with her graffiti. The sheer speed of her actions makes it look like she’s juggling.
How do I know it’s a girl? Well, although she is wearing a hat to shield her face from any surveillance cameras, a neck warmer up to her nose, and a black, oversized tracksuit already covered in pink paint splotches, her disguise was blown the moment she decided to leave her blue, ankle-length, twin braids out. I twist my neck and reach over the dashboard to try and get a better look at her work. I can barely make out the shape of a green monkey’s face before moving on to the next element. ‘Get ji-’
My reading is interrupted by the sound of sirens piercing the air and blue lights illuminating the area. Instinctively, I turn my headlights off and duck, watching the girl as she hastily packs the cans into her backpack. I swear I can see her eyes twinkle with excitement as she takes one last glance at her—presumably—finished artwork and takes off running through the gardens. Her faint giggle reaches my ears, and a bewildered smile graces my features. I wanted fun, and now it’s right in front of me. I definitely couldn’t get a clearer sign than this.
I observe as one of the cops chases after her as the other drives away, seemingly trying to cut her off. Lightbulb moment. I put the car into gear and waste no time following them from the comfort of the dark alleys, reaching the mysterious girl first through the shortcuts. I catch her contemplating her next move and, without hesitation, quickly flash my high beams at her twice. This seems to grab her attention, and I signal for her to get in with a simple nod, tapping the car door as confirmation.
To my surprise, she actually runs over and hops in the backseat, her back lying flat as she takes a swift peek through the window, and holy shit, I didn’t think that she actually would.
“Drive!” she yells through her panting, and I do. I feel my heart beating wildly against my ribcage as the blue lights appear once again in my rearview mirror. Don’t fuck this up, I think before taking a sharp left. I hear her elated squeals as I visualize the district’s roads and plan the perfect getaway.
Right.
Right, once again.
Left.
Straight down the street.
Sharp right.
I can hear the sirens getting closer as I speed through the familiar routes. It doesn’t matter that I know this area like the back of my hand; the cops probably do, too. There is only one thing left to try, and, albeit risky, it should work. They hadn’t spotted my car yet, and we were quickly approaching a busy intersection—the perfect distraction.
The tires squeak as I harshly pull into an empty driveway, turning the engine off in hopes of blending in.
“What the hell are you doing?!” the blue-haired girl grumbles with brooding eyes. I don’t reply. Instead, I shush her as I grab her waist and roll her off the seat, pushing her into the legroom before ducking underneath the steering wheel. We fall silent, holding our breaths in as the police car passes us by. I watch as they get lost in the dense traffic, a sigh of relief escaping me as I throw my head back. I climb into my seat again and take a peek at the tagger in the back, confusion crossing my features as I watch her stuff her face with candy. My candy. “Hefty stash you got back there.” Her mouth twists at the sour taste of a Warhead she picked. She seems completely unfazed by this whole situation.
I notice that she had discarded her hat and neck warmer and take the opportunity to get a better look at her: blue eyes matching her hair, light freckles splattered across her straight nose and rosy cheeks, pouty lips, her dark and expressive brows… She truly is breathtaking. I feel a blush creep up my face as she climbs over the console, wiggling her way into the passenger seat. She takes her hoodie off, revealing her black tank top, and fuck me, she has tattoos.
She faces me with a curious look herself, seemingly analyzing me too. Her gaze is difficult to decipher as her eyes trail over my figure, and I stiffen. She shoots me a knowing smile before throwing her hands around my neck and placing a kiss on my cheek. “You’re a lifesaver, toots,” she muses into my ear. The pleasant smell of paint and bubble gum hits my nose making me lick my lips. “Name’s Jinx, by the way. Stands for Jinx,” she cackles to herself, drawing her lower lip between her teeth awaiting my introduction.
I blink a couple of times, realizing how silent I’ve been throughout this whole ordeal. I can get awkward, sure, but I’m not timid, so I muster up the courage and consciously relax, trying to project a nonchalant attitude. “I’m Y/N.” I shoot her a smile of my own.
“Y/N. Hmm…” Jinx gives an approving hum as she repeats after me, my name rolling off her tongue like honey. “What made you help little ol’ me?” New observation: she’s a teaser.
“I need some excitement in my life,” I answer truthfully and she perks up with a spark in her eyes.
“Toots, you’ve just made friends with the perfect candidate to help you with that.” Her giddy attitude returns as she beams at me.
“We’re friends, huh?” I tease at her choice of words, my eyebrows raised in a cocky manner.
“Sure we are! I feel like running from the cops together is the perfect bonding experience, don’t ya?” She gives me a once-over before her mouth curves into a smirk. “Unless you want to be more than friends. That could work, too.” She winks. Her straightforwardness should make me turn crimson, but instead, it makes my confidence grow. I give a low chuckle as I shake my head in disbelief.
“Tell you what,” I begin, starting the engine and trying to connect my phone back to the car for the third time already, “let me get you home safely, and we’ll see what tomorrow brings to our friendship. Deal?” I extend my hand toward her, and she ponders my proposition. I can practically see the cogs turning in her head, her facial expressions jumping from sour to doubtful, as if she were battling her thoughts before settling on a satisfied grin.
Her soft hand reaches mine in a princess handshake, and I try not to look at her manicured nails for too long. “Deal.” The blue-haired girl snatches the phone out of my hands, adding her number to my contact list and sending a quick text to herself. Just when I think she’s giving it back, she picks a song, and I hear Arabella playing through the speakers. How fitting.
As I leave the stranger’s driveway, I sense her shuffling in the passenger seat, throwing her legs out the window. She puts her head on my lap freely, toying with the colorful charms on my keychain. In the spur of the moment, I gingerly brush her bangs behind her ear, revealing her side profile. Her gaze catches mine, and I see her eyes soften before I turn mine on the road again.
Jinx tells me her address, and I realize how close to me she lives—the perfect circumstances. I feel her lightly bobbing her head to the music as her left cheek strokes my thigh, her fingers tracing mine as they sit on the gear stick. Her demeanor feels different from the badass tagger who willingly hopped in a stranger’s car. She looks peaceful and content now.
My shoulders slump in disappointment as I park outside her house. She clicks her tongue and lazily lifts her head from the comfort of my lap. She looks around the empty streets of her neighborhood and hums, her curious eyes now shifting to mine. As we take each other in, I can’t help but gravitate toward her—her presence feels almost intoxicating, and I don’t want to part ways just yet. To my surprise, she copies my actions. She’s so close I can feel her minty breath mingle with mine. Instinctively, my gaze drops to her lips as she tentatively licks them. I let out a faint sigh, and she slowly closes the distance. I can hear my heartbeat as I wait for our lips to meet.
But they never do. “I don’t kiss on a first date,” she murmurs in my ear, and my face flushes. Jinx pulls away as she flashes me a toothy grin, and before I can even react, she’s already skipping to her front door, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. Wha-? When did she grab her stuff? I stare in disbelief as she turns around, her braids flailing behind her. “Let’s see what tomorrow brings,” she teases and blows me a kiss before disappearing into the dark hallway of her home.
Fourteen days.
Give me two weeks to make her mine.
╰┈➤ sequel – ‘Fourteen days’
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glow-worms-are-believers · 6 months ago
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The Kaldur'ahm before the storm (dp x dc)
Kaldur'ahm has seen a lot as a member of the Light, he has had to do a lot, not the least of it being fighting his teammates. Former teammates, he berates himself. Whether or not they will ever trust him again after his stint as a double-agent is still uncertain. In any case, Kaldur'ahm has had to get better at holding back his natural reactions to whatever evil the Light has decided must be done.
But today, it seems is going to be a test of what he can resolve to ignore.
"The specimen is absolutely fascinating," says the man in his stained white coat as he speaks with great enthusiasm.
"What have you learned?" Savage interrupts impatiently.
The Atlantean is only here because his father has been sent on another mission that was considered too delicate to trust his son with. Despite his probing, Kaldur'ahm has not managed to find more information. He had resolved to try and make contact with other members of the Light and he ended up one of the lucky few chosen to shadow the Founder.
Kaldur'ahm does not feel lucky.
"It can regrow organs," the scientist says, as he wipes his glasses, excitedly, leaving yet another green stain on his coat. "We have not yet tested them all, but kidneys, pancreas and even parts of its larger intestines have all grown back in matter of hours."
"This could revolutionize the field of medicine as we know it," the second scientist says, her voice more controlled, but obviously just as excited.
"And we have yet to test if the it will regrow more essential organs, such as the heart or the lungs!"
"Marvellous," Vandal says with a benign smile.
The first scientist nods enthusiastically before gesturing further down the hall, away from the observation station as he continues rambling, sometimes interrupted by his companion.
Kaldur'ahm has been trying not to look through the window, out of fear he would let his horror and revulsion show, but he can't help but look up quickly, and he makes eye contact with the tired, pained green eyes.
It looks like the boy's face is trying to form a snarl, that he's trying to resist, but he is halfway gone already. His skin is so pale he looks transparent, despite the bright green spots painting his face.
Kaldur'ahm cannot look away.
The boy's chest is a mangle of green and flesh and the Atlantean has to stop himself from gagging at the sight.
Someone jostles him as they pass by him to rejoin the figure of Vandal who is getting further and Kaldur'ahm comes back to himself.
There is nothing he can do for the boy. Not yet, he tells himself.
But later, once most of the personnel has gone.
Kaldur'ahm will come back.
And he will get the boy out.
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mymegrokosmos · 1 month ago
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a little soft bf minghao brainrot bc i felt like it. super era shoulder injury hao.
you set your bags down on the counter, dropping your keys by the front door and going to put your things away. by the time you've shrugged out of your jacket, hung it up in the front closet and put your purse in its usual spot on the credenza table in the hallway you're ready to melt into the sofa but there's still more to do before you can relax.
when you get to the kitchen, halfway through tying your hair up out of your face, you find yourself smiling. the familiar sight of your boyfriend's back, clad in his usual leisure attire of grey sleeveless top that leaves just a hint of his shoulders visible, peeks out of the fridge. he's already started putting the groceries away before anything gets too warm. just when you think your fondness for him can’t melt your heart any more than it already has he leans back to look at you from around the door and his soft smile has your heart in shambles.
if it’s possible to become one with the floor you're doing it. you've become a puddle. his shaggy mullet is in disarray, fluffy from where he's run his hands through it, and his face is bare. his usually sharp eyes are framed by big round glasses, softening his gaze as he closes the fridge in favour of coming over to press a kiss to your forehead.
"hi darling, welcome home. how was your day?"
you'd think after all this time you'd be used to how tall he was but it was still always a bit of a surprise just how much he towered over you up close. you sighed, letting him pull you into a hug and sliding your arms around his slim waist.
"hi. it was okay, very long."
he chuckles and you close your eyes, head resting against his chest. you're careful to lay it against the side of his good shoulder, nuzzling against the soft cotton of his shirt as his hand comes up to rest against the back of your head.
"i'm glad to finally be home. what did you get up to today handsome?"
the hand on your waist squeezes lightly and he holds you close for a minute before stepping back with another kiss to the top of your head.
"physio this morning again and then practice, even though I can't do a lot of the choreo yet they still need me for blocking when I can make it. mingyu came by earlier and dropped off some hotpot. why don't you go get into something more comfortable and we can talk about it over dinner?"
sometimes there was nothing better than coming home to everything already being taken care of. you know he misses being at work but being home more means minghao needs things to do. his physiotherapist also says that getting some movement in is good for his progress, so he's been taking care of household chores and spending a lot more time meditating lately to keep himself busy.
the members have been helping when they can. mingyu comes by or gets your boyfriend out of the house at least three times a week now. jun's often over in his free time to run lines with hao or catch up on the latest cdrama you're watching together. you think joshua has even dragged him out to a pottery class or two in their spare time. it's been good for him and the rest is doing him good, even if it makes him a little bit restless sometimes.
you nod. "i'll be right back. do you need me to help with anything?"
"no, just relax and leave the day at the office jagiya."
easier said than done but minghao always made you feel less guilty about sticking by work life balance and keeping them mostly separate. it's also been fun spending more time cooking together, he's good in the kitchen just a little impatient and you're enjoying getting to try out some of his mother's recipes. she's often on video call when you get home, minghao pouting about something while she scolds him playfully or they catch up on their weeks with each other. it's sweet and you love that their relationship only seems to get stronger as time goes on.
"you're still coming to the company dinner next week with me, right?"
another soft smile as he nods. "I'll be there darling. I didn't pick us out matching outfits just to not show up. now stop worrying and go change. you're hovering again."
you are, just a little bit. it's a habit you're still trying to work your way out of. you were a little traumatized when you got the call that hao was in the hospital at first and, though you both know he's fine and capable now, the instinct to make sure he's okay still lingers a little bit.
you sigh and make a face at him. "okay, okay. I'm going."
he just chuckles as you head towards your shared bedroom. makeup and weight of the day finally removed it's time to slip into one of hao's oversized tshirts and the matching cotton pyjama pants he bought for you last christmas. it feels like a cozy day so you take the time to find your slippers too before shuffling back towards the kitchen.
you find minghao stirring a pot of what seems to be mingyu's latest attempt at comfort food and slip your arms around his waist from behind, face pressed lightly against his warm back.
"smells good."
he hums in agreement, hand patting yours where it rests on his stomach. "I think he made enough to feed about seven more people than we currently have in the apartment."
you laugh and lean around him to peek at the food over his arm. "gyu probably plans to use it as an excuse to come over for lunch tomorrow or something. oh no guess you need someone else to help you eat it all."
that makes your boyfriend scoff. "why would he do that when he can just say he wants to come over? he knows where we live."
you kiss his bicep and move to get down some bowls for you both. "because he's kim mingyu and you're you myungho."
your boyfriend stops to look at you, blinking as he pauses his stirring. "I'm still not seeing your point love."
"you know how you don't like when people get too presumptuous about you?" you smile softly. "I wouldn't say he's intimidated because gyu knows you love him but... sometimes he's a little insecure and sometimes you can be a little cold."
he considers this. "he's never let that stop him before."
you smile and let him guide you, one hand on your hip as you slide between him and the pot on the stove to fill your bowls.
"and he won't, I don't think, because at the end of the day he knows that it isn't that you don't like his affection you just don't always know what to do with it and it needs time to process. but I think, and maybe this is just my take, he sometimes worries a little about intruding too much. especially now that you have a relationship outside of just your family and the members and your other friends."
it's quiet for a minute as he takes that in. you dish up hot pot for both of you and take the bowls over to your small dining table. minghao slowly follows behind, face impassive. you'd worry that you upset him but you know that expression. it's not anger or annoyance, he's just lost in thought. you take his hand, press a kiss to the back of it, and watch as he blinks back into the present.
"think about it all you need but let's eat first. like I said, maybe I'm just reading too much into it. maybe he has other reasons. we can finish that new drama and call him later if you want."
your boyfriend nods and joins you at the table, filling you in on his day. you can tell he's only half present but that's okay. by the time you finish and wash up he seems to have come to a decision.
"love?"
"yes myungho?"
he scrunches his nose. "try again please darling."
you laugh but the arms he crosses over his chest tell you he's serious. you smile softly, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek.
"yes, seo myungho great love of my life and most wondrous of boyfriends?"
he snorts. "closer but still not correct."
"baobei?"
he blinks. "close enough."
you laugh and brush a hand over his cheek, melting a little when he leans into the touch and takes your hand in his.
"you know I'm only teasing you, right?"
he nods. "I do."
you lace your fingers and press a kiss to the back of his hand. "what did you want to say honey?"
"do you mind if mingyu comes over tomorrow? I know it's your day off."
"babe, this is your apartment too."
minghao sighs. you know that look. the exasperated 'are you being serious right now?' stare. you smile.
"no, I don't mind if gyu comes over. just maybe warn me beforehand so I can make sure I have pants and a bra on this time."
that makes him smile, just a little, even as he rolls his eyes at you.
"come help me with my skincare?"
"only if you let me use the good stuff."
"mm we can even wear those matching headbands you like."
"lead the way love."
sometimes all you need after a long day is xu minghao ready with a hot meal, a long hug and a silly fuzzy frog headband keeping the bangs out of his face as he applies 6 layers of different creams to your face.
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mxnsterbabe · 13 days ago
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Male Gargoyle/Female Reader SFW Wordcount: 5,890 Commissions | Ko-fi | Masterlist
A new human resident, seeking refuge for reasons of your own, finds love in the form of a monstrous guardian.
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The halfway house loomed ahead, its imposing stone walls etched with shadow in the moonlight. You clutched your bag tighter, your pulse drumming in your ears. 
You glanced over your shoulder for what must have been the hundredth time, the cold weight of dread pressing against your ribs.
The door rose before you, solid and unyielding, its brass knocker shaped like a wolf’s head glaring at you. Your fingers hovered above it, trembling slightly. For a moment, you considered turning around. Would this place really keep you safe? Could it?
Before your knuckles touched the brass, the door swung open with a long creak. A woman stood framed in the warm glow spilling from inside, her sharp features softened by the lamplight. Her dark hair cascaded over her shoulders, and her golden eyes swept over you.
“You must be the new arrival,” she said, her voice rich but calm. The kind of calm that unnerved you because it was something you’d forgotten how to feel. “Come in. It’s late, and you look like you’ve had a long journey.”
The way she spoke wasn’t a question, and somehow, it put you at ease. You stepped over the threshold, your grip on your bag loosening just slightly. The door closed behind you with a weighty click, and you tried not to flinch.
The house’s interior was warm, the dark wood floors gleaming and the sconces casting golden light along the walls. It smelled faintly of lavender and something spicy, like clove. Your breathing slowed as you took it in, though your heart was still racing.
“You’re Esmeralda?” you asked, your voice raspier than you’d hoped.
She nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I am. You’re  Lucas’ friend?” Her head tilted slightly, studying you with a kind of quiet intensity. “He said you’d been through a lot. That you needed somewhere safe.”
You swallowed hard. “He didn’t lie.”
Her smile grew warmer, more assured. “This is the safest place you’ll find. The wards will keep out... whatever it is you’re running from.”
The words hit you like a blow, and for a moment, you thought you might cry. Weeks of running, of watching shadows that seemed to creep too close, of every breath feeling like a gamble—all of it had been eating away at you.
“Are you sure?” you asked, your voice trembling.
“Positive,” she said firmly. “Lucas wouldn’t have sent you here if it weren’t.”
Her certainty left you speechless. For the first time in weeks, the knot in your chest began to loosen, even if only slightly.
Esmeralda’s gaze softened further. “Come with me. I’ll show you to the kitchen. You look like you could use some tea.”
You followed her down the hallway, the house quiet except for the faint creak of the wooden floor beneath your steps. As she guided you toward the warm glow of the kitchen, the fear still lingered, but her steady presence made it easier to breathe. For the first time, you let yourself hope this sanctuary might be real.
Esmeralda moved about the kitchen with quiet efficiency, the sound of water filling the kettle breaking the heavy silence that had settled over you. The faint scent of lavender hung in the air, mingling with the sharper tang of herbs drying in bundles above the stove. You sank into one of the wooden chairs at the table, the weight of exhaustion pressing you down as the kettle began to hum, low and steady.
Your hands rested against the table, fingertips brushing over its scarred surface, worn smooth by years of use. Esmeralda’s presence at the counter was a comfort, her movements deliberate yet soothing, as though she’d done this a hundred times for people like you.
The kettle hissed as it came to a boil, and the click of Esmeralda turning it off was sharp but satisfying. The earthy scent of tea leaves followed, curling into the air as she poured steaming water into two chipped mugs.
“You’ll feel better with something warm,” she said softly, setting a mug in front of you. The steam rose between you, and you curled your fingers around the cup, letting the heat seep into your hands.
“Thank you,” you murmured.
The silence stretched again, broken only by the faint creak of the house as the night settled into its bones. Your eyes wandered to the doorway beyond Esmeralda, the dim hall beyond swallowed in shadows. For the first time since entering, the warmth of the kitchen didn’t feel as reassuring. The dark seemed to press against the doorway like a heavy thing, waiting.
Then it moved.
Your breath caught as a shadow shifted in the hall, something large and hulking stepping into view. Your pulse spiked, fear tightening your chest, and the chair scraped loudly against the floor as you stumbled to your feet.
“I—” a voice rumbled, low and gravelly, almost a growl. “I didn’t mean to...”
The shadow resolved into something more solid, a figure stepping closer. He was tall—massive—with broad shoulders and thick arms almost as big as your thighs. The light from the kitchen caught his face, the deep grooves and ridges of his features etched deep into his skin. His flat nose and sharp tusks gave him a beastly look, but his amber eyes held something that was almost shy.
“I didn’t realise there was a newcomer,” he said awkwardly, his claws curling slightly as his hands rested at his sides. “It’s late.”
Your heart pounded, the initial fear still rushing through your veins. “I—sorry,” you stammered, stepping back toward the table. “You startled me.”
He hesitated, his wings shifting slightly behind him as if he were trying to make himself smaller. “My fault. I thought everyone was asleep.”
Esmeralda turned to him, her voice calm. “This is Olivier. He helps keep the house running.”
You nodded quickly, still clutching the edge of the table. “I didn’t mean to... react like that.”
Olivier tilted his head slightly, his expression unreadable. “You’re fine,” he said, his voice low. “I’m sorry for scaring you.”
The tension in the room eased, though your hands still gripped the edge of the table like it was the only thing holding you steady. His size had your pulse thrumming, the sheer presence of him filling the doorway as his amber eyes lingered on you for a moment longer. Then, with a quiet nod, he stepped back into the shadows, his heavy footsteps receding down the hall.
Esmeralda sat down across from you, sliding her mug closer. “He’s not so scary once you get to know him.”
You nodded faintly, though your pulse hadn’t quite settled. “I didn’t mean to react poorly.”
She smiled slightly. “He understands. Olivier’s... quiet, but he’s one of the kindest souls you’ll meet.”
You glanced toward the hall where he’d disappeared, the echo of his presence still lingering like a shadow in the warm light of the kitchen.
Esmeralda sipped her tea, her fingers delicate around the mug. She watched you with a sly smile as Olivier vanished, but said nothing. 
Across the table, you tried to steady yourself, the warmth of the drink doing little to calm the residual unease from your earlier scare. The room was quiet except for the faint clink of her spoon against the rim as she stirred absently.
“Feeling better?” she asked, her dark eyes studying you over the edge of her cup.
You nodded, though your hands still trembled slightly as you lifted the mug. “A bit. I just... I didn’t expect to see anyone.”
“Olivier isn’t usually up this late,” she said, a faint smile pulling at her lips. “He must have been finishing up something. He can be... intense at first, but he’s good. You’ll see.”
Her reassurance didn’t dispel the lingering image of his massive frame silhouetted in the dim hall, his amber eyes glinting in the shadows. Still, there had been something awkward about him, a reluctance that softened the fear he’d sparked.
You took another sip of tea, the earthy flavour grounding you as Esmeralda leaned back in her chair. She gave you time to gather yourself, her calm presence filling the silence.
“Come on,” she said gently after a while, setting her empty mug down. “You need sleep more than anything right now.”
You followed her out of the kitchen, the warmth fading slightly as you entered the cooler hall. The sconces along the walls cast soft light, their glow illuminating the space just enough to make the shadows feel less oppressive.
Esmeralda led you upstairs and past several doors, some plain, others with small, worn nameplates fixed above the handles. Your eyes lingered on the engraved names as you walked.
Olivier. Laurent. Lucas.
She noticed your gaze and offered a small smile. “Some of the residents here are permanent,” she explained. “Olivier and his brother, Laurent, have been with me the longest. Lucas helps me run the house, though you already know that.”
You wondered what kind of people—or creatures—could find permanence in a place like this.
Esmeralda stopped in front of a door near the end of the hall and pushed it open, revealing a cosy room with a double bed tucked beneath a window. The quilted covers looked inviting, and a lamp on the bedside table cast a warm, golden glow over the space.
“This will be yours,” she said, stepping aside so you could enter. “It’s comfortable, and there are extra blankets in the wardrobe if you need them.”
You nodded, your body already aching for the bed’s promise of rest.
She lingered in the doorway, her tone softening. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow, we’ll start figuring out how to deal with your... problem.”
The words brought a flicker of relief, though your shoulders remained tight. “Thank you,” you murmured, meeting her gaze.
Her smile was steady, reassuring. “You’re safe here. We’ll make sure of it.”
The door closed gently behind her, leaving you alone in the quiet. The soft creak of the bed as you sat down was the only sound, the room still save for the faint rustling of leaves outside the window. For the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself believe her words.
***
The morning sunlight filtered weakly through the heavy curtains, painting the room in muted gold as you pulled on a fresh set of clothes. The bed, softer than you’d expected, had offered fleeting comfort, but the unease hadn’t left you completely. Whatever was following you, whatever had driven you here, still loomed at the edges of your thoughts.
A knock at the door startled you from your reverie, sharp but familiar.
“It’s Lucas,” came a deep, cheery voice.
You opened the door to see your old friend standing there, his broad frame filling the doorway. His dark hair was tousled, and the warmth in his grin was the first thing to settle your nerves since arriving.
“Morning,” he said, holding up a duffel bag in one hand. “Thought you might want this. Picked it up from your house this morning.”
Your heart twisted at the sight of the bag, a tangible piece of the life you’d left behind. “Lucas... thank you,” you said, your voice wavering slightly. “I can’t believe you went back there.”
He shrugged, his easy smile never faltering. “It wasn’t a problem. Esmeralda told me what was going on, and I figured you’d want your things.”
You stepped aside to let him in, the bag dropping heavily onto the bed. “I’m sorry,” you murmured, glancing at him. “I know we haven’t talked much lately, and now I’m here, asking for help.”
His expression softened, a hand coming to rest on your shoulder. “Hey, that’s what friends are for. Besides, you’ve got plenty on your plate. Let’s get this sorted, yeah?”
You nodded, the knot in your chest easing slightly.
“Esmeralda wants to see you downstairs,” he said, gesturing toward the door. “They’re waiting.”
You followed him down to the living room, the scent of tea and something herbal lingering faintly in the air. Esmeralda stood by the fireplace, her dark hair cascading over her shoulders as she sipped from a mug. Olivier was seated on a low armchair, his wings folded tightly against his back, and another creature—taller, lighter in complexion—leaned casually against the wall.
“You must be Laurent,” you said hesitantly, catching his sharp amber gaze.
“Guilty,” he replied, his voice low and smooth.
Esmeralda turned to you, setting her mug down on the mantle. “Good, you’re here. We were just discussing your... visitor.”
Your stomach tightened at the mention, the faint sense of being watched creeping back like a chill on your skin. “What do you think it is?”
“A shadow spirit,” Esmeralda said carefully, her tone matter-of-fact but not unkind. “They’re rare, but dangerous. The fact that it’s targeted you makes me think it has a purpose—or a grudge.”
Laurent’s gaze darkened, his sharp features set into a frown. “You’ve been followed for weeks. Why didn’t you come here sooner?”
You hesitated, guilt flickering in your chest. “I didn’t realise how bad it was. I thought it would stop.”
“It never stops,” Olivier said quietly, his voice carrying a weight that drew your attention. His expression was unreadable, but his amber eyes held yours for a moment longer than felt comfortable.
Esmeralda broke the silence. “There’s someone in the house who might know more. Rio. He tends to avoid most of us, but he’s knowledgeable about... unusual things.”
You nodded, though her tone sent a prickle of unease down your spine.
“Until we know more, we should take precautions,” she continued, glancing between the brothers. “It wouldn’t hurt to have someone watching your back.”
“I can do it,” Olivier said, his voice steady.
Laurent raised a brow but said nothing, while Esmeralda nodded thoughtfully.
You looked at Olivier, startled by the offer. “You don’t have to—”
“I don’t mind,” he said simply, his gaze unwavering. “You’re here to be safe. I can make sure of that.”
His calm certainty silenced your protests, leaving you both unsettled and oddly reassured.
Esmeralda smiled as she leaned against the mantel, her dark eyes scanning the room with quiet authority. The glimmer of sharp fangs momentarily distracted you from Olivier. 
“We need to cover every angle,” she said, her tone calm but firm. “Lucas, you’ll keep an eye outside and sure the wards hold. Olivier and Laurent will take shifts keeping an eye on her. There’s no telling how persistent this thing is.”
Lucas nodded, his arms crossed over his broad chest. “You got it. I’ll do a sweep after breakfast, make sure nothing’s slipped through.”
Laurent, still leaning against the wall with that lazy confidence, tilted his head. “What about Rio? If anyone knows what this shadow creature is, it’s him.”
Esmeralda’s lips twitched into a small smile, though her eyes remained serious. “I’ll talk to him. He’s not easy to pin down, but he might know something useful.”
You shifted uncomfortably, feeling the weight of everyone’s attention even as they spoke around you. “Is... is it really that bad?” you asked, your voice quieter than you’d intended.
Esmeralda turned to you, her expression softening. “We don’t know enough to say for certain, but whatever’s been following you isn’t ordinary. Shadow spirits are rare, and they don’t pick targets without reason.”
Your stomach twisted at her words. “So it won’t just... stop?”
“No,” Laurent said bluntly, his amber eyes meeting yours. “It won’t.”
The chill in his voice sent a shiver down your spine, but you caught yourself staring again, drawn to the way the light caught on the mossy brown texture of his skin. He wasn’t just imposing—he was striking in a way that made it hard to look away, even as your nerves frayed under his gaze.
He must have noticed, because his lips curved into a grin that bared sharp, gleaming teeth. Heat surged to your face, and you quickly turned back to Esmeralda, clutching your hands together in your lap.
“We’ll handle it,” she said, her voice cutting through your flustered thoughts. “You’re safe here. Between the wards and the watch, nothing will get close enough to harm you.”
Lucas clapped his hands together, the sound breaking the tension. “All right, then. I’ll start outside. If anything’s lingering, I’ll scare it off.”
Esmeralda nodded as he made his way to the door. Laurent followed a moment later, giving you one last glance before disappearing down the hall.
“I’ll stay close,” Olivier said quietly, his voice breaking the silence.
You looked up at him, startled to find him lingering by the doorway. His expression was unreadable, but his amber eyes held steady as he stepped closer, his massive frame making the space between you feel suddenly small.
“I—thank you,” you murmured, unsure of what else to say.
“If you need anything, let me know,” he said, his voice low and deliberate.
The faint scent of coffee lingered as he stepped even closer, mingling with the warmth of the room. It caught you off guard, the normality of it. Such a human scent.
The rough texture of his skin, the faint rustle of his wings, the intensity of his gaze—it all should have overwhelmed you, but instead, your chest tightened in a way you didn’t entirely understand.
“I will,” you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper.
Olivier’s grin tugged at the corners of his mouth, exposing the faint points of sharp teeth. It wasn’t a mocking smile, though something about it felt deliberate, like he enjoyed watching you fluster under his gaze.
Your breath hitched, and the space between you suddenly felt far too small. For one wild moment, you thought he might kiss you. The idea hit you like a jolt, bringing a hot flush to your cheeks.
Instead, he raised a clawed hand, his touch far gentler than it should have been as he brushed a strand of hair from your face. His claws just grazed your temple, enough to send a shiver down your spine.
“You don’t need to look so alarmed,” he said, his voice soft, almost a murmur. “I’ve got you.” 
Then he stepped back, wings ruffling, and smiled a toothy grin.
“Olivier!” Laurent’s voice called sharply from the hall, and it snapped you from your reverie.
Olivier glanced over his shoulder but lingered for a moment longer, his amber eyes dipping to yours before he finally turned and stepped away.
From where you stood, you could see him and Laurent in the hallway. They spoke in low tones, their words too quiet to catch, but Olivier’s gaze kept darting back to you. Each time, the warmth in his gaze made your stomach flip.
You found yourself studying him, drawn to details you hadn’t taken in before. His face, squashed and batlike, was a jarring mix of harsh angles and ridges, his flattened nose and prominent tusks giving him an almost batlike look. It wasn’t conventionally handsome, but there was something about it—about the roughness, the sheer presence—that made it impossible to look away. His amber eyes gleamed under heavy brows, alive with a quiet heat that made your stomach flip.
His body was no less commanding. His shoulders were broad, a muscular slope that led to heavy, wide wings. Even his chest was massive, his stone-like skin shifting over powerful muscles that filled the doorway and then some. It should have been overwhelming—too much—but instead, it sent a flare of heat low in your belly that caught you off guard.
You tore your gaze away, forcing your attention elsewhere. Anywhere but the hallway where Olivier stood, glancing back at you like he knew.
The feeling simmered, hot beneath your skin. It wasn’t fear or gratitude, though those lingered too. This was something deeper, hotter, that made your pulse race and your thoughts scramble.
You barely registered Laurent leaving first, striding away with a final glance over his shoulder. Olivier lingered for just a moment longer, his gaze locking on you once more before he disappeared into the shadows of the hall.
Your chest felt tight, your fingers curling into the fabric of your shirt as you let out a slow breath. Whatever had just happened left your heart racing and your thoughts spinning. You couldn’t explain it—didn’t even want to try.
***
The garden was quiet the next afternoon, save for the faint rustle of the breeze through the hedges and the soft buzzing of bees flitting between flowers. You stepped through the gate, its iron latch squeaking, and paused when you saw Olivier.
He was crouched low by a patch of flowers, his wings furled tightly against his broad back as he worked the soil with surprising delicacy. The image caught you off guard—this hulking creature, all sharp edges and stone skin, tending to flowers with the care of someone cradling something fragile.
You almost turned back, unwilling to disturb him, but the moment your foot shifted, his head lifted. His amber eyes found yours immediately, sharp but unthreatening, and you realised there was no sneaking away now.
“Didn’t think anyone was out here,” he rumbled, straightening. He brushed dirt from his hands, claws leaving faint scratches on his palms.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” you said quickly, stepping closer. “I didn’t know you liked gardening.”
He shrugged, glancing back at the flowers. “It’s quiet. Doesn’t need much from me except patience.”
The corners of your mouth twitched, his unexpected softness making it hard to hide your curiosity. “What are you planting?”
“Nothing. Just cleaning up the beds. Weeds get in the way of the hellebores.”
“Hellebores?” You crouched beside him, taking in the wide, waxy petals of the pale pink flowers. “Are they your favourite?”
“Yeah,” he said after a moment, his voice lower, almost shy. “They remind me of the ones that used to grow wild around the castle.”
Your brows lifted. “The castle?”
He nodded, brushing his hands together. “It’s where Laurent and I started. Our... creators used to plant fields of flowers to keep the grounds from looking so grim. The hellebores always grew first, even in the frost.”
You watched him as he spoke, his eyes distant, his features softening in a way that made your chest ache. “You must’ve loved it there.”
His lips twitched into a faint, wry smile. “I don’t know if love’s the right word. It was duty. We were made to guard it. Guard them. We didn’t have a choice.”
There was no bitterness in his tone, but the heaviness of his words lingered between you. “Now?” you asked quietly.
“Now…” He trailed off, his gaze shifting to the trellis where climbing vines curled lazily. “Laurent found his purpose again. There’s a woman in town, they’re so in love it’s almost offputting. She’s young, kind. He’s taken it upon himself to keep her safe. Guess it gives him something to fight for.”
“What about you?”
He let out a low, rumbling sigh, his wings rustling faintly. “Still figuring that out.”
Something about the admission struck you, the vulnerability beneath his gruffness pulling at something tender in your chest. Your eyes drifted over him as he turned back to the flowers, his massive shoulders hunched as he worked the soil again.
The roughness of his stone-like skin, the powerful lines of his arms, it all made you feel so small in comparison. Your heart gave a small, rebellious flutter.
“I think you’ll find it,” you said softly, your gaze lingering on the curve of his wings. “Maybe sooner than you think.”
He looked at you then, his amber eyes catching the light just enough to make them burn. For a moment, you forgot to breathe, his gaze grounding you and scattering your thoughts all at once.
A small smile pulled at his lips, softer this time. “Maybe.”
You smiled back, the warmth in your chest blooming into something unfamiliar but far too pleasant to ignore.
 As you watched him return to his work, your affection grew, mingling with a desire that surprised you with its depth. It wasn’t just the strength in his hands or the curve of his wings—it was the way he treated the flowers like they mattered, like they deserved care despite their fragility.
It made you wonder, briefly, if he could ever look at you the same way.
The words you were about to say dissolved on your tongue as something at the edge of the garden caught your eye. Across the hedges, where the sunlight should have been golden and steady, shadows seemed to pool unnaturally, creeping into places they didn’t belong.
Your chest tightened. It was only three in the afternoon; the sun still hung high in the sky. It shouldn’t look like twilight was creeping in.
“Olivier,” you said, your voice thin and trembling.
He looked up from the flowers, his sharp eyes narrowing instantly. Following your gaze, he stood slowly, his wings spreading just slightly as if instinctively preparing to shield you.
“I see it,” he muttered, his voice dropping to a growl.
A shape moved through the shadows—low, slinking, formless and wrong. It seemed to flow rather than walk, black tendrils stretching out across the grass. Wherever they touched, the green blades curled and blackened, withering into ash.
The fear hit you like a punch, sharp and paralysing. You tried to step back, but your feet felt glued to the ground, the cold creeping up your legs like icy water.
“Get back to the house!” Olivier barked, his voice breaking through the pounding rush of terror in your ears.
You couldn’t move. The cold seeped deeper, into your chest now, slowing your thoughts, clouding them. The darkness curling at your feet seemed alive, pulling you down into itself.
“Olivier—” you gasped, but your voice was barely a whisper.
He didn’t wait. With a growl that shook the air, he launched himself forward, his wings spreading wide as he leapt between you and the creeping shadow. His claws tore into the ground as he landed, and with a snarl, he swiped at the creature, the force of his strike sending a ripple through its inky form.
The shadow hissed, a sound like air escaping a tomb. It recoiled, twisting into a mass of writhing tendrils that lashed out at him. One wrapped around his arm, and you watched in horror as his stone-like skin darkened where it touched, the veins beneath it turning black. Olivier snarled in pain, tearing the tendril free with a vicious jerk of his arm.
“Move!” he roared at you, but you still couldn’t. The cold was overwhelming now, like it had rooted itself in your spine.
The creature surged toward him again, its tendrils darting forward, trying to snake around his wings. Olivier ducked, twisting with surprising agility for his size, and swiped with his claws, raking through the darkness. His strike left faint trails of light where the shadow split, a strange, glowing wound that made the creature recoil again, its form shuddering as if in pain.
“Don’t you touch her!” Olivier’s voice was raw, almost feral, as he lunged forward again. He sank his claws deep into the mass, pulling it apart with brute strength, even as its tendrils lashed at his shoulders and legs. 
Each hit made him grunt in pain, but he didn’t falter, didn’t slow.
The creature screeched, the sound high and piercing, and it began to pull back, shrinking away from him. Its tendrils dragged across the ground as it fled, and you felt the cold start to lift, your body slowly releasing from the grip of paralysis.
As the creature slithered into the farthest shadows of the garden, he gave chase, his wings unfurling with a powerful snap. His claws tore into the ground as he launched himself after it, his bellow of rage rattling the stillness.
You watched, frozen in place, as he disappeared into the darkness. The garden, so tranquil moments ago, now felt sharp and foreign. Your stomach turned.
Your legs wobbled as the last of the cold released its grip, and you stumbled backward. The image of Olivier—his glowing amber eyes blazing, his movements brutal, his roar like something from a nightmare—seared into your mind. 
You had never seen him like that, not the quiet, watchful gargoyle who worked with careful hands in the garden. This Olivier was terrifying, unrelenting, and your chest tightened with fear—not of him, but for him.
“Olivier!” you called weakly, though the sound barely carried past the hedges.
Before you could take another step, someone gripped your arm gently. You spun to see Lucas standing there, his angular face tense but reassuring as he crouched slightly to meet your gaze.
“Come on,” he said firmly, guiding you toward the house. “You shouldn’t stay out here. He’ll be fine—Laurent will follow him.”
You stumbled inside, the warmth of the house washing over you like a balm. Lucas guided you to a chair in the kitchen, his presence solid and grounding. “I’ll make tea,” he said, already reaching for the kettle.
“What if he doesn’t come back?” you asked, your voice thin.
“He will,” Lucas said without hesitation. “He’s strong, and stubborn.”
The tea was warm in your hands, but it didn’t quite settle the knot in your stomach. Lucas checked you over, his gaze flicking between your face and your hands. “Whatever made you freeze like that,” he said, “it’s gone now. You’re fine.”
Hours passed, the clock ticking loudly in the quiet. Evening turned to night, and still, Olivier didn’t return.
When Laurent came through the door after dark, his expression was grim. He shook his head, his glowing amber eyes meeting Lucas’s. “No sign of him,” he said quietly. “I’ve searched everywhere.”
The fear that had been simmering in your chest all day spilled over, your heart sinking. For the first time since arriving at the halfway house, the wards, the walls, the safety it promised—all of it felt suddenly, terrifyingly fragile.
The tea sat cold in your hands as Laurent’s words echoed in your ears. No sign of him. You barely spoke a word after that, nodding numbly when Lucas told you to rest. The sound of the chair scraping against the kitchen floor felt distant as you rose and made your way to your room.
The bed was warm and inviting, but sleep didn’t come. You lay on your side, staring at the faint glow of moonlight spilling through the curtains, your mind a whirlwind of fear and what-ifs.
What if the creature returned? What if it was lurking just outside the wards? What if Olivier hadn’t been able to stop it—or worse, what if it had stopped him?
Your fingers gripped the blanket tightly as those thoughts twisted deeper. You had never felt so helpless, so completely vulnerable. No matter how much Esmeralda assured you the wards would hold, you couldn’t shake the image of the thing slinking across the grass, the way Olivier had thrown himself into the fight without hesitation.
You turned onto your other side, then onto your back, and then your stomach, unable to find a position that would still your restless mind. Hours passed like this, exhaustion pulling at your body while your thoughts refused to quiet.
Finally, at some point in the night, you drifted into a shallow, uneasy sleep.
***
The creak of your balcony door startled you awake hours later. Your heart leapt into your throat, and you shot upright, your pulse hammering in your ears. The room was dark, lit only by the faint silver glow of the moon, but the silhouette in the doorway was unmistakable.
“Olivier?”
He stepped forward, his massive frame filling the space. Even in the dim light, you could see the damage to his stone-like skin, mottled with dark streaks like the withered grass where the shadow had touched. His wings drooped, and his movements were slow, but his amber eyes glowed softly as he offered you a small, tired smile.
“Sorry,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Didn’t mean to scare you. I just... I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Your breath caught, relief crashing over you like a tidal wave. Before you could stop yourself, you were out of bed, crossing the room in an instant. You flung your arms around him, burying your face against his chest, uncaring of the rough texture of his skin.
“Olivier—” His name was all you managed before you tilted your face up, and without thinking, you kissed him.
It wasn’t planned, wasn’t careful—it was desperate, a release of everything you’d been holding in. His lips were warm, softer than you expected, though you could feel the roughness of his cracked skin. His wings shifted behind him, and his claws brushed lightly against your back as he steadied you.
The kiss deepened before you realised it, your body pressed against Olivier’s as though he was the only solid thing in the world.
His claws hovered at your back, hesitant at first, before resting lightly on your waist, their sharpness dulled by the gentleness of his touch. When he tilted his head slightly, his lips parted, and the warmth of his breath sent a shiver cascading down your spine. 
You felt the edge of one fang graze your bottom lip, the faintest scrape that left you trembling and breathless.
You pulled back suddenly, your chest heaving, your lips tingling from the kiss. “I—I’m sorry,” you stammered, your voice breaking. “I don’t know what came over me.”
His amber eyes burned into yours, glowing brighter now, as though your kiss had stoked something deep within him. He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he reached up, one massive hand cupping your face with a gentleness that sent your heart pounding harder.
Then he kissed you again.
This time, it was rougher, hungrier. There was no hesitation now, his claws pressing just enough to hold you firmly as his lips moved against yours with purpose. His fangs scraped lightly over your mouth, and the weight of his wings brushing against your arms made your knees weak. His other hand settled at the curve of your hip, pulling you closer, and you felt the full breadth of his powerful chest rise and fall against you.
Heat surged through you, overwhelming and consuming, as though the kiss was pouring all of the tension and fear of the day into something raw and tangible. 
He groaned low in his throat, the sound vibrating through your chest, and it sent a spark of need curling through your stomach.
When he finally pulled away, his breath came rough and shallow, his forehead pressing against yours as his claws rested at your hips. You couldn’t move, couldn’t think—his presence filled the room, grounding you and making you weightless all at once.
“Don’t ever be sorry,” he rumbled, his voice low and thick with something that made your pulse stutter. His amber eyes locked on yours, the intensity in them leaving no room for doubt. “Laurent found his purpose. Protecting someone he cares about.” His voice dipped even lower, almost reverent. 
“I think I’ve found my purpose. In you.”
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lynnsenpai · 2 months ago
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My ten year anniversary of beating cancer
On October 2nd 2014, I - a trans woman - was diagnosed with testicular cancer. I wanna talk about that a little today. (((Probably obvious trigger warnings, but I'm going to talk about cancer, mortality, and transphobia.)))
It was a crazy time, because that morning, I was just going in for my yearly physical with my doctor. I planned to talk to her about taking steps towards bottom surgery that day, and then I was just excited to get home and count down the hours until Smash Bros for 3DS would release the very next day. But the appointment went an unexpected direction during the physical.
I'd always been told by doctors my whole life to check for lumps, and as much as I hated that part of my body, I did as I was told. So when I never found lumps, I assumed that meant I was okay. Then my doctor told me one of them felt oddly hard. She left the room for some time (I assume to check some things) and when she returned, she explained she had some concerns and was sending to another specialist to confirm some things. She said she felt very sure it was a sign of testicular cancer, though.
At the time, my brain wasn't ready to hear that. My doctor was visibly shaken. My spouse was on the verge of tears. And I was deep in denial like, "but I mean there's a chance it might not be, right? So I'm not going to sweat it." In hindsight, I'm sure I was frustrating to listen to for not taking it seriously. But it wasn't like I was trying to be obstinate, I just was that strongly in disbelief. I didn't feel sick. I wasn't in any pain. Things were going well; this couldn't possibly be happening now.
And yet, a few days later, I saw the specialist, and it was confirmed. I had cancer. Any optimistic doubts I had, shot down in an instant. The specialist wanted to take care of this as fast as he could, so I was scheduled for surgery at the end of the month, and he gave me a stack of prescriptions for various tests I would go to - basically one a day - for the next few weeks.
I had lots of blood drawn. I had x-rays done. I had CT scans. I had an incredibly awkward, uncomfortable ultrasound. And at each appointment, I was seeing some new doctor, nurse, technician, or otherwise professional who probably looked at my chart and, despite my legally changed name and gender marker by that point, saw that the person in front of them had testicular cancer. “And such a person could only be a man.”
I feel like it must sound so petty to be worried about pronouns when you're dealing with something like cancer. But I want to stress that I was nearly a year in presenting full time as myself by that point. I hadn't been called a man in a very long time. And up until earlier that very month, I was on cloud nine and ready to take the next step in my transition. This whole ordeal, on top of being horrendously scary, also took huge strides in regressing all the progress I'd made with confidence and self-love over the previous two years.
And it got worse too. Insurance refused to cover the surgery because I changed the gender marker. Because "why would a woman need to get surgery to remove a testicle. That's just silly!" And there was no convincing them otherwise. Insult to injury, I had to change that gender marker back to an M in their system so that they would approve this surgery. It was a surprisingly easy change to make happen too (which was technically beneficial for the surgery, but also sucked in its own way).
Oh, and then I had to go off all my HRT meds in preparation to reduce the risk of blood clots during surgery. I never felt lower.
All the while, I had plenty of time to think about my mortality. I was only 30. What about my spouse who I love more than anything and might be leaving alone forever? What about my ongoing webcomic, my work of passion which at the time was only nearing about the halfway point, and was at risk of being left unfinished forever? And what about my own future that not so long ago felt so bright?
It would not be an understatement to call October 2014 one of the darkest, heaviest, scariest periods of my life. But not in that good fun "Halloweeny" way.
But the big day came. On October 28th - ten years ago today - I went in for surgery for the first time. I was in the OR for maybe an hour, and the cancerous testicle was removed. As suddenly as it started, it was over.
Recovery was a long and painful (without dragging out the story longer than it already is, the surgical site got infected, so healing probably ended up taking longer than it should have). But the good news, all things considered, was that they successfully removed it, and I wouldn't even need chemo because it was caught so early.
There's technically more to the story. I would later see an oncologist who encouraged a second surgery, to remove the other testicle, as well as lymph nodes around the kidneys, all as a preventative measure to make sure it didn't come back or spread. I didn't love this idea, but she seemed confident that this was the right choice, so I went along with it. And just four months after the first surgery, I went and did it all again. (This time went much more smoothly, but was a much bigger incision, and was still a very long recovery.)
The whole thing, start to finish - including recovery time - was only about 7 months long. I would go for regular oncology visits and testing and blood draws along the way for years to come, but it never showed up again.
In 2016, I finally got back on track for bottom surgery, and then had it done later that same year. My gender marker is back to being an F (where it should be) on everything. I also have two wicked cool scars to show that I conquered cancer.
Unfortunately, I don't think I ever fully mentally recovered from the emotional stress of that first month, as doctor visits still evoke way more anxiety for me than they used to. But I don't get misgendered anymore, at least.
This was all ten years ago I wasn't sure I'd still be here on this day back then. But I got through it. I'm still here for my spouse. I finished that first webcomic after an 11 year run, and have since started a second. And… I'm doing okay. I'm doing the best I can everyday.
It was a terrible time in my life - an especially terrible way to start my 30's - but I think it helps to talk about from time to time. And the ten year anniversary, feels as meaningful a time as any.
So thank you for reading all that. Please make sure to take care of and check yourself. Even if it's a part of yourself you don't want.
Stay safe, stay happy, and stay healthy everyone.
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tsintotwo · 8 months ago
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Comic-con Tom is back!
Quick recap: Tom showed up in a fit we've seen before cuz that's just who he is (and I respect that). Host was giving kind of a weird energy ('she's asking if you'd like to be punished'???), but okay, no harm done and we don't have to shit on random dudes.
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He got asked some of the same questions from earlier cons and some new ones. In summary: Sandman s2 is halfway through filming, the helmet is real and you can see through the eyes, eternal waking is a worse punishment than eternal sleeping, he loved doing Sea Wall, he likes dark Belgian chocolate, he got into acting through Punk Rock, his main inspiration in portraying Dream was the the novels (rather than something external to them), a fav scene to act was the dinner table scene with all siblings in upcoming s2, he'd like to be Destiny so he can live alone in a garden and read, main characteristic of s1 Dream was Dream finding his connection to humanity, fav line is I Am Hope, he's excited to watch Dead Boy Detectives, embodying Dream had its challenges, little to no CGI was used in creating the other versions of Morpheus (iykyk), he tried meeting Morpheus in his dreams, working with Neil was wonderful, he wants to work with great creators (people 'cleverer than him' as he always puts it), he's done a lot of dark roles and if it's happening this many times, he guesses there must be a kinship between those and his personal self (mmhmmm?), for filming he wakes up/starts for the studio around 4 a.m. and starts giving shots around 9 a.m.- time between that is hair+makeup and getting into character, and last and definitely the least, he got asked to do the Dream voice yet AGAIN (please don't do this, people).
It was really, really good to see him. Watch the full video at Klara Himmel's channel.
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dirtysvthoughts · 1 year ago
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tipsy nights 🌕
tags/warnings: boyfriend! chan, female! reader, alcohol, mentions of a finished dinner, lots of kissing, lots of touching and feeling each other up, reader praises chan, chan gets kinda shy, dry humping
word count: 1.9k
notes: thank you to @duhnova for helping me with the idea for this drabble! this has been a recurring thought in my mind - getting tipsy with chan, making out, and getting handsy 🥺 the dingo tipsy live is also one of my favorite chan looks ever (and the inspiration for this drabble), it’s so boyfriend coded 😩 anyways, enjoy besties!
chan stretches out his body, groaning out in satisfaction as you wash the dishes from your meal. “seriously babe, you’re such a great cook! that tteokbokki was one of the best i’ve ever had.”
you blush at chan’s words, a smile making its way on your lips. “thanks chan, i’m really glad you liked it!” you dry your hands with a towel as you join him on the couch, resting your head on his shoulders as your legs move into a mermaid position. chan puts his hand on your knee and begins rubbing your skin in a circular motion.
“you take such good care of me,” he admires, looking in your eyes, feeling as if he could get lost in them forever. “you’re always making sure i’m eating, making sure i’m well, i don’t deserve you..”
“i don’t deserve you, chan,” you emphasize, holding his hand. “the things you’ve done for me and the way you take care of me too? you’re the greatest boyfriend ever.”
you share a quick kiss, resting your head on chan’s shoulder when you separate. having a partner that not only understood you, but wanted to know more about you, flaws and all is one of the best feelings you’ve experienced.
after a few minutes of silence, you eye the bottles of soju and other alcohol on the table in front of you. plates of snacks and fruit were also laid out, your eyes turning back to your boyfriend. “ready to start drinking?”
chan smirks as he grabs a soju bottle, causing you to sit up for a moment. he pops the top off fashionably and he pours halfway to your shot glass, while pouring to the top for his. you reach for your liquor as you both say cheers, clinking your glasses and taking your shots. you hiss at the strong taste of the alcohol, the slightly bitter taste of regular soju wasn’t your favorite, but it was tolerable.
chan laughs at your reaction, shaking his head, “still getting use to the taste huh?”
“the flavored one taste so much better to me!” you defend. “i dunno how you take down almost three bottles of this,” you take the bottle as you pour another shot, stopping halfway again.
“but yet, you’re getting another drink of it,” he chided and you playfully, lightly hit him on his shoulder. “i never said i didn’t like it, y’know,” you pop a chip into your mouth, swallowing it. “i just prefer other tastes.”
thirty minutes pass by and a pleasant feeling overtakes your body and brain. you’re not completely drunk, but you definitely could say you weren’t sober either. what was the word you were looking for?
“are you tipsy, baby?” chan smiles at you leaning his head back on the couch, hand covering his face, chuckling to himself. while his tolerance was way higher than yours, he had already downed two and a half bottles of soju - and is probably more intoxicated than you are.
“mmmhmm,” your slowly slur, leaning forward but stopping yourself so you wouldn’t fall over. “it feels good though, not gonna lie,” you giggle, shifting yourself to sit closer to your boyfriend. you rest your head on his shoulder again, hand holding on his forearms. you stare at the wall in front of you, but you look up at him when he takes another swig of alcohol, biting your lip watching his adam’s apple move with each swallow, how his lips looked so soft and pillowy.
you tap his arm twice and it brings his attention back to you, chan humming in response to your gesture. “i dunno if told you this but you look really hot today.. i mean you always look hot, but right now?” you stop to bite your lip, legs pressing together tightly, “god, i need you inside of me, on top of me, maybe even underneath me.”
chan blushes profusely at your words, his bright smile making one also spread across your face. you kiss his cheek twice, but something inside you is encourages you to go further and your lips trail down his cheek to the left side of his neck. his breath hitches at the sensation, your moist, wet lips doing something to him.
“i didn’t think my outfit today would have such an effect on you,” he muses, looking down at the long sleeve brown top he matched with some jeans. he hadn’t intended on making you feel a certain way when he puts this together, but he mentally pats himself on the back for it because look where it got him. his favorite girl in the world, tipsy and kissing his neck ever so tenderly.
you chuckle, moving your body to sit on top of his left thigh, praising and thanking all the high powers for convincing you to wear shorts today. you maneuver yourself closer to him, lips diving into his neck again, but this time alternating between kisses and small, light bites. this clearly arouses chan and his hands make their way to the small of your waist, softly gripping the skin.
“mmm channie,” you moan softly as your hands make their way down to his chest and stomach, fingertips tracing the line of his abs. “you’re so handsome and stunning.. everything about you is so attractive. you’re an amazing performer, a hard worker, so patient and understanding.. not to mention funny and insanely talented, you’re like the complete package.”
you momentarily pause as your hand goes inside his shirt, now tracing the lines of his skin. your fingers slowly dance their way down to chan’s zipper, his breathing becoming quicker. “just wanna show you how amazing you are my love, wanna shower you with you all the compliments i can think of,” you kiss his forehead as you tease him by rubbing your fingers lightly against his crotch.
chan leans his head back as he whines from all the praise he was getting. “baby, you’re making me red,” he says a little above a whisper, and you can’t help but smile at how cute he is right now. normally he would be one to take compliments to his advantage, use them to dirty talk you until you were leaking all over him. but tonight was different. there was something in the air chan couldn’t define, but whatever it was, he just wanted to let you take the lead in this moment.
deciding that it was time to switch things up, you begin to slowly grind on your boyfriend’s thigh, the feeling of your shorts and his jeans on your crotch has you immediately moaning. chan’s mouth opens in awe as he lays his eyes back on you, the expression on your face and the way you bite down on your lips has him starting to form a wet spot on his boxers.
chan tenses the muscles in his thigh and it has your chest falling forward, causing you to release a louder moan. “shit, channie,” you whine, a doe like look spread across your face. “please do that again, please,” you beg breathlessly, never stopping your enticing motions on his leg.
chan smirks at how affected you are and fulfills your request, tensing his muscles again and moving his leg side to side to add extra excitement to your folds. you whimper as your body continues to heat up, chan’s movement and groans tightening the coil in your stomach. before you think you’re about to burst, chan taps the back of your thigh twice, bringing all of your movement to a stop.
“there’s two things i want you to do for me pretty girl,” he bites his lips as he eyes you up and down, noticing how your nipples got perky and were peeking through your shirt. “yes baby?” you respond, pushing some of your hair back that got in your face.
“first, stand up and take your shorts off for me. let me see your cute little panties,” he smirks, now eyeing the lower half of your body as you get up from his leg. four eyes dare not leave chan’s as you find the button to your shorts, then you work the zipper down, pulling them down slowly as he groans when they’re completely off your legs, kicking them off to the side.
“like what you see?” you tease, already knowing the answer. chan licks his lips and beckons you to come closer with his index finger.
“second thing, you think you can ride me but sit on my lap this time? i wanna feel your pretty little pussy on my dick.”
“think?” you playfully roll your eyes as you maneuver your body and gingerly sit on his lap, you crotch pressing against chan’s. “i know i can, i wanna feel you too channie,” you moan already feeling his hard on touch the material of your underwear.
“how are you so hard already?” you geniunely question as chan wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest. “not that i’m complaining or anything!”
your boyfriend smiles as he seals your lips in a long, drawn out kiss, guiding your body to grind against him. “that’s all you baby,” chan laughs as you hold on to his shoulders, feeling up his arms. “you feel so good rolling your hips into me like a good girl.. i can feel how wet you are too, soaking these adorable panties you have on,” his fingers lightly touch your clit from the outside and it has you mewling, craving for more - chan’s name and more higher pitched moans than the others you let out earlier consistently coming out your lips.
“channie,” you beg, moving down on him with a bit more pressure. “i need you so bad, need you to fuck me here on the couch after i come.. please tell me you’ll fuck me,” your eyes looking like they were watering. chan tilts your chin up as he pushes his hips up to thrust into you, making sure you kept your eyes on him. “i fuck you just how you want baby, i’ll make sure i’ll have you screaming for me on this couch, have you begging even more than you are now. you want that baby? want me to have you screaming my name?” you pace has sped up as you nod frantically, the coil in your stomach becoming tighter and tighter.
“chan! chan! cha-” you loudly whine as your body becomes undone, slumping into your boyfriend’s chest as you come all over his boxers, making an even bigger mess on his clothes. your breathing is ragged, but you love the state you’re in right now, chan continuing to hold you by the waist as he rubs your back.
“think you’ve sobered up a bit?” chan asks as he helps you sit up. “cause i know i have,” he chuckles, brushing his hair back. you nod, agreeing with him. “yeah, i think so too.”
after a few beats of comfortable silence, you call out your boyfriend’s name, looking up at him. “can you still take me down on the couch? i still haven’t felt you inside me yet,” you fake pout as he smugly smiles, switching your position, and pressing you down on the couch’s material.
“just you wait, i’m gonna leave you wanting my touch for a very long time.”
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cxffecoupx · 19 days ago
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all i want for christmas
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boo seungkwan + christmas music blasting at all times wc: 697 warnings: seungkwan being absolutely intolerable with his singing (not necessarily a warning tho), made in a rush, not proofread author's notes: i wrote it this morning pls forgive me if it's not good i tried my best😭 i still hope you like it (even just a lil) winter wonderland masterlist
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it all started the day after halloween.
[november 1]
you wake up to the radio playing in the living room.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas Everywhere you go Take a look at the five and ten, it's glistening once again With candy canes and silver lanes that glow....
sleep still looms in your head, but the sunlight streaming in through the windows, the pots and spoons rattling from the kitchen and the loud song playing all quickly drive away any remainders of slumber. you sigh and get up dejectedly.
stumbling into the kitchen, you see a very joyful seungkwan dancing around in the kitchen, hands moving animatedly as he sings along with the song. you'd have turned off that loud thing minutes ago if it weren't for him singing, so you reduce the volume and wait for him to notice. his head whips towards you.
"yn! you're up!" he beams.
"halloween was just yesterday; the dead are still lurking around, and you're playing christmas songs?"
"it's all for getting into the spirit of the holidays, babe. that's why i'm playing 'its beginning to look a lot like christmas'; it's not christmas yet, but we're getting there."
you'd want to fight, but then you realise you two share the same braincell because why else does his logic start to make sense to you?
so you just stay there, at your makeshift dining table (that's also your workspace), watching him belting out notes that could honestly rival mariah carey while making pancakes that ended up being too salty.
[november 23]
you've now reached the stage where seungkwan speaks with christmas songs.
you're driving to seungcheol's house for jihoon's birthday party, and you realise your mistake halfway: seungkwan has the aux cord and this is the eighth christmas song playing.
What a bright time, it's the right time To rock the night away Jingle bell time is a swell time To go glidin' in a one horse sleigh...
"kwannie... can we please play a normal pop song now? i will actually lose my mind if i hear one more bell jingling," you tell him.
he lets out a dramatic sigh. "what sin must i have done in my past life, to deserve such betrayal?"
you roll your eyes, but can't help letting out chuckle.
"i dedicate this next and final song to my partner that does not appreciate the holidays with me."
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special.
seungkwan starts singing in a way that would make anyone think he's going through his fourth divorce. but you know better; you know all his dramatics that only make you scoff in amuse when the first thing he utters after meeting his friends (while they were discussing his christmas movie list) is:
"my partner doesn't love me like i thought they do guys. i'm in love with someone who doesn't appreciate my flair."
[december 6]
the gradual decline of music in your house ever since that last conversation suddenly became suffocating when you noticed it. you meant it as a joke; he knew it was a joke; and yet, no matter how annoying you found it, you noticed how the approaching christmas didn't feel like it without your boyfriend competing against the original artists of the songs.
so when you see him shuffling around the house with a pout on his face while 'normal' music plays, you discreetly try to change the song.
I don't want a lot for Christmas There is just one thing I need...
seungkwan pops his head out of the room like a toddler who heard candy packets opening. he keeps watching as you attempt to sing the song, voice cracking and scratching more often than not. when the song reaches the chorus, you look to him, and he reacts like a deer caught in the headlights. you point towards him and gesture him to come closer, holding your hand out in a fist to mimic a mic and urging him to sing.
"i thought you hated christmas songs..." he mumbles.
"this is december, baby. it's officially christmas season," you scream over the music. he gives a shy smile.
"besides, i don't want a lot for christmas, other than watching you sing," you say and give him a little smooch on the lips.
he blushes for a moment before holding the mic (your hand) and singing at the top of his voice.
...Santa, won't you bring me the one I really need? Won't you please bring my baby to me?
all is well in the world again, you think.
as seungkwan eases into his element, all you can do is admire from afar. you might not be the biggest fan of christmas (not when seungkwan exists), but Santa gave you an early x'mas present, and you're forever grateful for it.
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prompt by @novelbear divider by @adornedwithlight
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