#that usually would bring me such joy but because so many of these chapters are making me wanna just put the book down

[earlyspringtranscendence]

currently 500 pages into rhythm of war, am enjoying the things im enjoying very deeply (mostly shallan and adolin. and veil and radiant and shallan’s dynamics. and kal but thats easy because he’s my favourite character and besides isn’t even hitting that hard in this one its just that everything he does is everything to me) but so much of it also is just such a slog and idk if it’s me because i usually set aside a day to read like 80% of the book in one go or if it’s the fact that a friend has now also read stormlight and shared some opinions w me that i dont disagree with or if its the book itself but like. navani is such a boring POV character and adolin’s reduction down to his fashion sensibilities is a snore and the bridgemen are practically absent so kal doesn’t even have anyone to endear him even more to me and even venli’s just too like. cautious to have anything going for her. like fr the only person i don’t have any sort of a complaint towards as of rn is shallan

[invisiblestringmm]

chapter five

“tell me everything about her.”

a/n: not much to say other than a massive thank you for the support and that I hope you love this chapter as much as I do! 🤍

warnings: slight angst, anxiety attack, language & lots of fluff.

5.638k words

Telling your parents about Lily’s dad being back into your life was harder than you believed it’d be - there were no judgements, of course, but they asked so many questions that you were convinced that the night would never end. It was five years of questions they kept to themselves, but you didn’t have much to say at the moment. You still had to meet Mason and tell him first, which in your opinion, would be the toughest part of it all alongside telling Lily.

Mason Mount.

Your dad’s jaw dropped when he heard the name and he seriously contemplated it to be a prank, but he let go of that theory because Lily definitely looked like Mason. “Except for the nose,” he said. When you left for bed, before shutting the door to your room, you heard your dad mumbling to himself how unbelievable that was as he drank down his scotch - you cringed at the thought of how embarrassing introducing Mason to your dad would be, considering that he was a massive football fan and that Mason played for Chelsea when the old man was wild about Arsenal.

Of course hoping for a quiet night was too much to ask, but you never thought it’d be like that. Still trying to process Mason’s appearance in your dreams, you felt like staring at the ceiling was a lot more interesting than getting out of bed to confront the day like an adult - staying in bed felt a lot more appealing. Hoping no one would come for you, hoping today wasn’t the day yours and your daughter’s life would fully change felt better than anything else you had to do today. Instead of thinking what you’d say to Mason, you decided you’d let it all out as naturally as possible. Concentrate on Lily, on how special she was, on how his life would be extraordinary with her in it because Lily was pure joy in human form.

Concentrate on apologising.

Two soft knocks on your door and that pair of hazel glistening eyes glancing at you with curiosity brought you back from your thoughts. Lily pushed the door with her foot, concentrating on not letting the liquid content in the cup she carefully held spill on her grandma’s carpet. “Good morning mummy,” the way she looked at you, spoke to you, walked to you made your chest clench. Lily was so precious and had no idea that the night before, her daddy watched her dance. She had no idea you’d see him today and tell him about her and how extraordinary she is. “I brought you peppermint tea.”

“Of course you did,” you murmured, sweetness in your voice as you got out of bed and took the cup from her tiny hands and put it on the bedside, placing a kiss on her fingers as you also took her in your arms and went back to bed. “Thank you so much, my love.”

With tiny arms wrapped around your neck, Lily smooched both of your cheeks. “Why can’t you come with us today, mummy?” she pouted, hoping to persuade you to join her at Foxwoods before you had planned.

“Mummy needs to do some adult stuff but I’ll be there before you notice,” you kissed the tip of her nose, hands cupping her face as your thumbs caressed the delicate skin of her cheeks. “But you’ll be a good girl and behave, won’t you?” Lily giggled and nodded, knowing what you implied by it. Christmas was the time of the year that your mum valued the most, so she was everywhere and making sure everything would be absolutely flawless - which meant her Latina nature became a lot more evident than usual and the only person who’d calm her down and bring a smile to her face was Lily.

You two spent a few more moments like that, cuddling in bed, as you updated yourself on the day’s news and sipped the peppermint tea she kindly brought you. The final moments of life being just the two of you against the world, which instantly took you to the day you were still pregnant and felt her moving inside you for the first time - the overwhelming joy and fear of not being a good mum to the child that was growing so strong inside you, it all vanished when you first held Lily in your arms and fed her your milk. That had to be the most magical experience and memory you had of learning to love your daughter.

In the end, motherhood was continually learning. About how to raise her properly so she’d be a decent adult, about how to adore everything about that other human, to be there whenever she needed and for whatever she needed because she was your priority.

As you finished doing her hair, you could only hope that it’d be the same for Mason once he learned to love her too. That’d he have the same level of interest, because this wasn’t about you ending up disappointed anymore - it was about Lily and her anticipations.

Truth is you got a little emotional watching her go with your parents without looking back, you knew you were doing it right every time that happened because it meant that while she still loved you like crazy, your daughter was also independent. It’d be good for her when it was actually time to leave home, but you tried not to focus too much on it. Back to reality, you got two missing calls from Willow, probably wanting to know what were the plans, when you realised that you also had no idea how today’s events would unfold, so you decided to text Mason.

Of course, he lived in the area, it definitely worked well for him since Chelsea’s training ground was in Cobham - what made your brain nearly explode was to see where you two were going when he sent you the location. That was the same café your mum would spend most of her afternoons at, so they probably bumped into each other at some point without knowing that there was a little human that linked them to each other. It only proved once again your whole point about how the wealthy were pretty much all linked by someone they had in common. But the nicest thing about your mum is that she couldn’t care less about the world you grew up in, probably the reason why you were so down to earth - while your dad tripled his fortune working for England’s most wealthy as a lawyer.

Only to add to your tension, you were now on FaceTime with both Willow and Jasmine, freaking out again about what to wear to see Mason in two hours. Your hair and makeup were done, and you had Jaz making fun of you for giving such importance to what you’d wear as if you were going on a date.

“You two just don’t get it,” you huffed, rolling your eyes. “The last time we spent more than 30 minutes together was five years ago and I was a drunk, young mess. Then I was a pregnant mess again, months later, by his door. I was throwing up like, ten times a day!”

Now, you were a mum, and you couldn’t look like a mess if you were going to tell him that you were a mum to his daughter. You had to look fairly decent, and no one would change your mind about that - especially when you took your phone and walked into your mum’s closet for a pair of one of her golden hoop earrings and a watch. Luckily, she didn’t mind sharing.

“Oh my,” you heard Jaz gasping. “Is that a Birkin behind you?”

“Yeah, my dad spoils my mum with bags whenever he needs to persuade her of something,” you chuckled. “Which is quite a lot.”

“Sadly, you don’t have a brother to marry me,” Willow said, pouting. “Give Jaz a tour through your mum’s closet.” Jasmine didn’t notice, but you did - the teasing in your best friend’s voice because you’ve both talked about it before and knew that at some point you’d have fingers pointed at you declaring that it was for the money. That you were a clout chaser, getting pregnant by a young millionaire footballer when you were wealthier. It’d take a few hate messages before they associated your last name to its fame.

After a quick tour and a jaw-dropped Jasmine, still stunned by your mother’s collection of handbags, jewellery, and shoes, you said your goodbyes, blew the girls a kiss, and began to dress up. Informal and basic, but still classy. You definitely had the mum vibe in those jeans, but you also looked your age - most of the time, fully taken by the obligations of maternity, you’d overlook how young you still were and how little time you had to act like someone your age. Clubs weren’t something that often happened in your routine, even if you loved going out to dance. You’d go to bars with work colleagues, and old friends from school, but their lives were so much different from yours. Most of the time you felt distant even from Willow, who although was your best friend, wasn’t a mum.

By the time you were ready to leave the house after snapping a mirror selfie and sending it to Willow, Mason texted you saying he’d be there in 20 minutes and you decided to walk there instead of driving. You wouldn’t be able to focus and fresh air would come in handy, and the café wasn’t distant from your parents’ house.

During the short walk there, your phone buzzed with texts from your dad and Jaz.

Well, if things went bad with Mason, at least your support system was still one of the greatest you’ve ever seen. Letting out a long sigh, you felt the weight of the world on your shoulders when you spotted the cafe right across the street. The only good thing you could think about it now was that it seemed really intimate, not busy at all, that’s probably why he decided on this place.

When you stepped in, you were received by the soothing aroma of coffee and chocolate. It comforted you down but only for a few seconds when your eyes met Mason’s figure - his eyebrows slightly frowned, like he was focused on something that was going on only in his mind, and biting his nails. You stood there, astounded by the fact you’ve seen that same facial expression on your daughter countless times before, until his eyes found yours and the frown gave place to a wide smile and happy eyes.

There was no way you wouldn’t smile back at him, it was contagious.

It took you some courage to make your way to him, and your tension only boosted when Mason greeted you with a hug, his hand ran up and down your back as he breathed in your perfume and, unconsciously, you did the same. But his happiness in seeing you wouldn’t last much longer. You planned to be as sharp as possible instead of dragging the weight of that secret for the rest of the afternoon because that was the reason why you went there in the first place.

“Can I get you anything?” he asked, pulling the chair for you and sitting in front of you right after.

“Chamomile tea, please.”

“Are you nervous?” there was a mischievous smile playing on the corners of his lips, making you shift uncomfortably on the chair. You don’t know why, but you just nodded and got a chuckle as a reply. The whole thing was absolute madness and torture. You could feel that pair of hazel eyes studying you with so much interest, Mason’s entire body language was incredibly easy to read because you could see Lily there, in everything that he did and even in his breathing. ‘Except for the nose,’ like your father said. Except for the nose, Lily was exactly like her father. “Well, I’m a bit nervous too.”

The waiter brought chamomile tea for you, and peppermint for him. You couldn’t hold back a soft smile when this morning’s memories flooded your mind, and as you drank down your tea, you felt like having Lily on your mind would make this easier. Her eyes, the soft pinkish flush on her cheeks, her laugh… Slowly, you felt your hands steadier, your breathing calmer. The priority had to be your daughter and everything she meant for you, all these years where it was just the two of you would be over and her biggest dream would come true.

“Mason, I-”

“Let me begin,” Mason moved his cup aside and now it was him shifting on the chair, clearly uncomfortable and making an effort to find the correct words to say. A sigh parted his lips as he rubbed his eyes. “I’ve been feeling embarrassed for years now, for the way I treated you when you showed up at my door. I wasn’t prepared for a relationship and I didn’t know what to do, nor how to.”

You raised an eyebrow. “A relationship?”

“The way you kept calling, texting… it overwhelmed me a bit,”

“Wait. You assumed I went there to tell you I was in love with you or something?” you raised your voice a little, immediately regretting it when the waiter side-eyed you.

“Weren’t you?”

“I think that stick was a bit too far up your arse,” you muttered, suddenly feeling confident enough to straighten your posture and calmly drink down your tea again. You observed his jaw drop and Mason’s cheeks were so red you could swear he felt them burning.

“Anyway,” he coughed. “I am sorry, deeply and truly. I tried to find you the next day, but I had no idea where you lived and you blocked my number.”

“It doesn’t matter now, Mason. There is a reason why I went to your place, an extremely significant one. A reason that changed my whole life and it would’ve changed yours too if you hadn’t been a complete idiot,” a frustrated sigh parted your lips and it didn’t take long for your eyes to burn with tears. “But in the end, I also need to apologise because I should’ve insisted, and I truly hope you can forgive me someday…”

“What do you mean, Y/n?” His voice was soft yet tinged with a mix of urgency, curiosity, and apprehension.

As you sat across each other, the aroma of peppermint and chamomile mingling in the air, you took a deep breath, heart pounding against your chest. This was it, this was the moment. “There’s something I need to tell you,” you started, voice barely above a whisper, which was making Mason feel as tense as he’d ever been. You could see concern etched on his face. “That night changed everything I thought I knew,” You paused, trying to gather your thoughts. “I went to your house to tell you I was pregnant. We have a daughter.”

The words hung heavy between you, the silence only broken by Mason’s gasp. He stared at you, his eyes wide in shock, the natural flush on his cheeks instantly gone as his face went pale. “A-a daughter?” he repeated, disbelief evident in his voice. You nodded, eyes brimming with tears as you watched his reaction. “A daughter,” Mason repeated, his brows together in a frown as he mumbled it again a couple of times.

“I thought about going back there and forcing you to listen, and I know I should’ve,” you swallowed a sob, forcing yourself to push away all the hurt you felt that day and bringing Lily’s face back to your thoughts. Emotions swirling inside you. “But you shoved me off. I instantly felt like I’d face rejection again and it wasn’t about me anymore… it was about… her.” Your voice trailed off.

“I would never,” Mason reached for your hand across the table, his expression softening. “I wish you would’ve insisted.” He said, his tone gentle yet filled with a mix of hurt and, much to your surprise, understanding. You looked down, unable to meet his gaze when his warm hand gently squeezed yours. “Look at me, please.”

When you looked up, you noticed his eyes glistened with tears. Letting go of his hand, you reached for your phone and realised that the easier way to tell him the rest of the truth was opening his sister’s Instagram and showing him a picture of Lily and Summer that he’d seen before and even left a comment. The frown was there again as he took your phone from you, jaw dropping again, Mason blinked repeatedly. His mind raced, trying to comprehend the magnitude of what was unfolding before him. This was his daughter, the child he never knew he had. Guilt washed over him like a tidal wave, threatening to drown out the cacophony of emotions swirling inside him.

His mind nearly exploded once he finally realised that he met her not long ago and his heart sank as the realisation that he had actually thought how adorable and polite she was, and also extremely thoughtful - it hit him like a ton of bricks. A type of anger he never felt before bubbled up inside him, mingling with hurt and another feeling that was still unknown to him and Mason could not yet describe but was directly tied to that lovely little girl.

Mason’s heart felt heavier by the second as he tried to process the truth - the woman he shared a fleeting connection with kept their daughter hidden from him for years. Confusion blurred his thoughts for a second, he asked himself if his sister knew, and if she did, it only made him feel angrier. Beneath the anger, though, there was indeed a flicker of understanding.

“I couldn’t hide it anymore, and Jaz confronted me after she was in the same room as you and Lil-“

“Lilian Maisie,” he murmured. “You named her after me?”

“She needed you around, somehow.” Your words hung in the air, laden with the weight of missed opportunities and what-ifs.

As he looked deep into your eyes, Mason saw a reflection of his own emotions - uncertainty, regret, but also a glimmer of what could be… hope? Despite the hurt he felt that moment, Mason couldn’t shake the feeling of connection he always felt towards you and he now wondered if it was Lily who tied him to you. Like a force of nature, one he didn’t know existed, always making him think about you and if you were well.

Silence settled over you for longer than you expected, but not once you nor Mason looked away from each other - the weight of revelation started to sink in. Finally, he spoke, his voice filled with emotion. “Tell me everything about her.”

Relief washed over you, tears streaming down your cheeks as you nodded, finally being able to breathe. “Do you think we could go somewhere else, though? Somewhere it could be just us. Maybe your car, I-“ a sob interrupted you but Mason quickly paid for the tea and gripped your hand as you left the café. It was only when you two finally got to his car that you allowed yourself to actually cry, loud sobs making your body shiver. It felt like the weight of the world was no longer on your shoulders.

“Breathe, please,” Mason cupped your face, his thumbs wiping your tears. “Can you breathe with me, Y/n?”

His tone was so gentle you couldn’t believe how well he was treating you when he had to face the fact that you literally hid a child from him for five years. His child. How long would that last, though? How long until things crumbled, once he realised reality and parenthood were not easy to face? That once he accepted this role, his life was no longer his and that everything was about her? Their daughter.

“Better?” He asked, letting go of you when you nodded. Oddly enough, you missed the warmth of his touch. “Think you can tell me more about Lily now?”

Nodding again, you decided to show Mason pictures of her growing up as you shared every little detail about your daughter. How she was the sweetest, and most chubby baby you’ve ever seen; that she was always paying attention to everything and everyone around her, and clapped her chubby hands whenever she liked something. You told Mason that her first word was ‘goal’, and there was a mix of a sob and a giggle parting his lips. You told him that Lily behaved like an adult most of the time, that she loved animals, and that she was always making sure everyone around her was happy.

That her laugh was the sweetest sound in the world, and how her eyes crinkle when she laughed. Just like him.

You told Mason that besides ballet, she also loved football, and you could see pride in his eyes.

You told Mason that she also loved peppermint tea and that it was your thing to share a cup every morning.

Last but not least, you told Mason that he was her biggest dream. That she longed and cried for him almost every night, that her life was nowhere near complete without him in it, and that if he wanted to be in Lily’s life, his life would instantly become better and happier because she loved him more than anything in the world without even knowing who he is. That was the purest form of love he’d have, and the only thing he’d have to give in return was his love.

“I was surprised I didn’t hear from you right after you met her and Willow that day,” you admitted, watching Mason frown again.

“Willow?”

You nodded. “My friend who was with me the night we met.”

“To be honest,” he moved in his seat, cheeks flushed pink. “You were the one who had my attention and I wouldn’t remember her face even if I tried. I think Woody ran into her at some point but-”

“He did?” you interrupted him, not remembering if Willow ever mentioned it to you. Mason just nodded.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“It’s funny, but that day… watching her with Summer, I felt something so weird.” Mason repeatedly and slowly shook his head, a smile playing on his lips, like he couldn’t believe what he was about to say. You could hear your heart pounding against your chest, “Like the world’s entire happiness was right there, in front of me. I remember how I went home thinking ‘Oh wow, what a sweet little girl’ and I couldn’t understand why.”

“Oh, Mason…” the familiar knot on your throat was there again and you nearly forced yourself not to cry again. “I’m so sorry, so sorry-” You were interrupted by his arms around you.

Did he really pull you into a hug? Was he really hiding his face in the crook of your neck, crying like a little kid? Were you really comforting him, right hand up and down his back as he sobbed his heart out?

That wasn’t the reaction you expected, and guilt hit so hard that you could feel how your vision instantly blurred and you finally allowed yourself to cry again. You broke his heart, prived your daughter from living the first 5 years of her life with that man who probably would’ve given her his whole world - and also everything and anything else she wanted him to give her. Like his love, affection, and a big family. You took that from both of them, and you couldn’t help feeling like a monster. So the only thing left to do now was to fix this, beg for everyone’s forgiveness, and work forever to repair the damage you’ve caused.

“Does she know about me?” his voice, barely above a whisper, broke the silence between you. Mason still had his arms tightly wrapped around your body, which was only making things worse for you because how could he still show any sort of affection when you’ve done something so horrible?

You shook your head. “I wanted to see how you’d react before telling her,” you sighed, feeling completely vulnerable and defeated. “I was expecting lots of screaming, maybe you shoving me off again or something like that and telling me to speak to your lawyers.”

Too close for your sanity, Mason pulled from you just enough so he could look you into your eyes. The way his eyes were so red and puffy broke your heart into a million pieces because it was like seeing Lily crying - even the way he kept his brows in a frown, and slightly pouted. “Let’s save the lawyers for when we have to do the bureaucratic part of her getting my name.”

A nod was all you could give him back as you swallowed hard and your heart skipped a beat. You were far too naive thinking lawyers wouldn’t be brought into this, especially with your father being one of the greatest. You shook your head at the thought of Mason trying to take her from you, and even if you felt extremely guilty, you’d be ready to fight for your daughter no matter what or how much it’d cost you - the sudden pain in your chest and how you now desperately tried to catch your breath made Mason let go of you and cup your face again. You tried to look away, but he made you focus on him because he noticed what the word ‘lawyers’ did to you.

“Breathe with me, yeah?” His voice was calm, there was so much patience in every little gesture he offered you, that it wasn't hard to feel your heart and breathing going back to its normal pace. “I’m not taking Lily from you, ever. I promise.”

“You have every right to but I want yo-,“

“Y/n, don’t.” Mason interrupted you, and for a moment you felt like he could read your mind and soul by how deeply that man looked at you. “I would never, ever do that. She’s ours and we’re gonna find a way to make this work, let’s focus on her now, okay?”

You nodded. “Okay, but we can arrange a DNA test if it makes you more comfortable.”

“Do you have any doubts that she’s mine?”

“Gosh, no! She’s all you, Mason.”

For a moment, you could swear there was a glimpse of pride sparkling in his eyes. Mason took a long and deep breath and, much to your disappointment, let go of you. You watched him run both hands on his face, and stay silent for a few seconds. He was definitely lost in his thoughts, and once again you knew that because that was the same facial expression you’ve seen on Lily’s face multiple times.

“But I think it’ll be necessary, at some point. We can think about it later, let’s just focus on her and make sure she’s safe and-,” Mason stopped talking when he noticed a smile curving the sides of your lips. That’s what, deep down, you hoped for. Him putting her as a priority. “What?”

“You probably didn’t realise yet, but you’re behaving like a dad.”

That was when reality hit him again, like a slap in the face. Mason was a dad, and his life wasn’t just his anymore - there was a little human who loved him unconditionally without even knowing who he was, who waited and cried for him on countless nights, who hoped he’d show up for birthdays and important events such as a ballet recital. Mason was there the night before, watching his daughter without even knowing she was his. It hurt, but it also made him feel oddly happy.

Suddenly, he felt the impulse to wrap his arms around her slight figure and protect her from everything and everyone. Mason couldn’t understand why and how that feeling took power overer him so quickly, but now he understood why he always felt like part of him was missing. Lily was the missing piece.

“I didn’t want to leave you yet,” He started, your heart skipping a beat at his words. “I’d like to tell my family today, so you can do the same and we can set up a day with just the three of us.”

“She’s the only one left to tell now, but yes,” You nodded. “She’ll want to see you as soon as possible, I can already visualise her going wild thinking about what to wear. There’s just one thing…”

“What?”

“She’s not here now, my parents took her to the Cotswolds for Christmas and I’m supposed to meet them there. I can bring her back or you can meet us there…?”

Mason scratched his head, a sheepish smile on his lips. “I wouldn’t want to crash your family’s Christmas.”

“It wouldn’t be,” Unconsciously, you reached for his hand, watching how he instantly intertwined his pinky with yours in what was the most precious and delicate gesture he’s shown. You felt your cheeks burning under his gaze. “You’re her dad, that alone already makes you part of the family.”

Mason’s lips parted in a wide smile at your words, he unhurriedly nodded, his pinky playing with yours. You two shared a giggle and you watched him sigh before saying anything. “I don’t really want to think about the after, my brother having to do damage control because of the media. I want to enjoy this moment to meet her, what she’s like…”

“Yes, and you can come stay with us if you’d like to. There’s lots of space there, even if your family would like to join us,”

“Let me take you home now, and we’ll settle on what to do, yeah?” Mason gently squeezed your hand before letting you go, again, much to your dismay.

It stunned every inch of your heart and soul the way he responded to the news, almost as if deep down he already saw it coming. As you guided him to your parents’ house, your mind was working on how to tell Lily that she was finally meeting her daddy and that he couldn’t wait to see her - finally, she’d get one of the things she wanted the most for Christmas. You couldn’t avoid the feeling that it was all too perfect, though. That, at some point, something bad would happen and you feared for Lily's protection, understanding how exposed she’d be once the media was aware that golden boy Mason Mount is a father to a five-year-old girl who’s been entirely hidden from the limelight. You feared curious eyes and potentially evil words directed at her, to you, to your family. But, right now, it was about allowing Lily to finally have her daddy all to herself.

When Mason pulled over the car, you noticed how his jaw slightly dropped and how he bent his body to take a proper look at the house.

“What? Not what you expected?” You teased, lifting an eyebrow at him and watching how his cheeks immediately got pink. “At least no one can say it was about money, huh?”

“I’d fight whoever said it was,” Mason murmured. “But definitely not what I expected. Is that a fucking Arsenal flag or am I delusional?” You watched Mason’s eyes widen, and a loud laugh filled the car with pure bliss. That was the first moment you allowed yourself to relax and laugh. “Are you a Gunner?”

“Fucking hell, no! My dad is,” A single tear rolled down your cheek, as you recovered from the sudden wave of euphoria that caused you to laugh so hard. “He wasn’t happy to know that a Chelsea player knocked up his daughter.”

“Oh man, this is going to be fun!” Mason punched the air and then helped you with the seatbelt before getting out of the car to open the door for you. You muttered a ‘thank you’, stopping in front of him as you searched for the keys in your bag. “Can you send me pretty much everything you have of Lily? Photos, videos… I’d like to show my parents.”

“Of course, Mason,” With both hands in your coat’s pockets, you scanned him for a few seconds and, finally, gathered some courage to step forward and give his cheek a delicate kiss. “I’ll accept your follow request too, and we’ll sort things out so you can meet her, okay?”

He nodded, cheerfully, like a child having the best Christmas morning in the world. When you were about to turn and head home, he pulled you again and embraced you as tight as he possibly could.

“Do you believe she’ll like me?” Uncertainty was so clear in his voice that you felt your chest clench.

“She loves you, Mason. Lily loves you unconditionally,”

Watching him go was different this time because you knew Mason wasn’t going anywhere ever again. He’d stay, you knew that with your whole being - the thing is that if he was going to be there all the time, you’d have to find again to set boundaries between the two of you or things could end up badly. And it couldn’t, not if it involved Lily’s happiness and well-being.

You’d get along with Mason, and spend time with him so Lily would understand and live life with her parents around, but allowing yourself to have feelings for that insanely gorgeous was out of the question, even if you had no idea how to avoid it when he kept being so touchy and so lovely, much to your frustration.

In the end, it seemed that Mason would become an issue, but to your heart.

****

BONUS:

next chapter

[seraphinitegames]

Hey, Mishka!!!

I've been replaying TWC over the last couple of months, and must say, it's been an entirely rejuvenating experience for me. Like, I was reading it the first time, although I've replayed the series quite too many (worrying number) of times already. And it still manages to amaze me, EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I've repeated this in the past, and I'll repeat it again. The Wayhaven Chronicles is a blessing for me and I'm sincerely thankful to have come across it when I did. And I'm grateful to you for making this lovely world a reality (and of course, the four beautiful vamps)! Really eager for Book 4 and have already player the demo; can say it's gonna be worth the wait. It every time is.

Replaying the series in the last few months, I had a certain uncontrollable urge to drop and ask a few questions to you. Apologize in advance for the long ask and message, but it had been bottling up inside of me for SOOOOOO LONG.

1. In Book 1, when we're to lead the investigation in one of the three directions, is there any way to get success in any direction without Bobby making a big joke out of our investigation in the newspaper?

2. In Book 2, when Nicole and Max Salinas come to report their incident, can Tina actually find out anything unusual? If so, what is actually needed to explain that?

3. In Book 3, I noticed if we choose to go the final mission alone, depending on the route chosen, Boddy/Doug will end up tagging along as well, jeopardizing everything. Is there still a way to complete the mission successfully and rescuing everyone like it happens when we go along with Rebecca?

4. Less of a question, but more of a plea. Please tell me we can get a pet anytime in the series. I was just curious if we can get one.

5. How powerful is the big baddie in Book 4 compared to Unit Bravo? You don't need to answer if this verges on spoiler-y territory.

Really sorry to overwhelm you with this, but it's just months and months of joy, happiness, and sheer ecstasy making me blabber on about this world like this. Thanks once again, for making this truly beautiful story, world, and the vampires a reality.

Have a good day!!!! Lots of love from India!!

You can never play a game you love too many times (I keep telling myself that as I gradually burn a hole into my poor old console playing Dragon Age over and over, lol!)! If it brings you happiness, then that's what is important! :D

Ok, let's see about the questions...it's been a whole since I've gone through the older games without being in editing mode, hehe!

I don't think so...Bobby is, well, Bobby. And that scene was there very much to establish their character and show the player what type of person they are.

I don't think so, again. If there's anything unusual or odd, then I usually like to let the MC find that instead of it happening 'off-screen' so it's more impactful for the player—unless it's Verda discovering stuff, because that needs to happen for…reasons.

Iirc, in the Bobby/Doug routes, you get the auction scene, so a lot of that branch involves focusing on saving yourself! But the other team that joins Unit Bravo will help in saving a lot of the captives in that version.

I would love that being a massive animal companion fan myself, hehe! But likely not, just because the MC is away a lot from home, and that's unfair on the pet, even a fictional one, lol. I was tempted to give the MC a supernatural pet that hung around at the facility—that was definitely a strong idea at one point just so I could write a pet in the series for those that wanted it (me, I was the one who wanted it, hehe!) :D

**BOOK FOUR DEMO SPOILERS AHEAD** It's not just that Book Four's villain is terrifyingly powerful (or will be. They are, thankfully for the MC and UB, in a weakened state for a while due to what's happened to them and what happened in Chapter Two) but it's a lot to do with the fact that their power specifically counteracts and weakens Unit Bravo's. So that's a double whammy!

Thank you SO incredibly much for the amazing message! It means more than you can know <3

[wings-of-ink]

Maybe a slightly sad or bittersweet post, but I wanted to share since it relates to a little extra I'd like to post soon. Details below, check the tw tags first just in case.

I think many of you may remember that I had mentioned when chapter 3 was out that Shadow, our lovely favorite merchant's kitty cat, was based on my actual cat.

We lost Shadow 1 year ago today.

He sat with me during all the months of planning and writing before I publicized the first bits of this story. Truth be told, he was in my way a lot and would lay around my neck while I was typing. He was one of the most interesting and beloved pets I've ever had. He felt more like a person, honestly.

Frankly, we lost him in a shitty way too. One that left me pretty bitter because it was a vet of all things, whom I trusted with him, that caused it out of carelessness. And I know mistakes happen, they just do. And I know they didn't do this on purpose too, but it still hurts.

I've lost pets before and each time it hurt, but nothing has hurt like this before. I've had a lot of difficulty recovering from this. We want to rescue more kitties, but the thought leaves me anxious. There is a lot more to this story that I won't go into here, but 2023 was the hardest year of my life to date. Shadow was not my only loss that year, so all that grief just compounded and left a chasm in my heart. I won't speak about the person we lost that year too. I don't think I can bring myself to share something like that publicly.

Anyway, I wanted to share this because I am still healing but I remember that little grey fuzzball fondly today. I've had a good day and this community and this story have given me so much joy. You've all helped me look forward during hard times.

In honor of Shadow, I will post an extra little story about how the fictional Shadow came into Nathanael's life, featuring a fictionalized version of the truth. (This will be in addition to the extra to celebrate hitting 2000 followers).

If you are still here, there are some pictures below. I have way too many of him and I've recently been able to look at them again. He was a ham, and in his whole life, only liked 1 box - and he only liked that box for a week. He was a burrower-cat instead, and usually played under the sheets and blankets. He also had a special chair and blanket for enjoying "screen time," and adored pillows.

If you have a kitty, give them a boop from me. ^_^

[erinwantstowrite]

Hi! I dont usually ever send asks but I saw your post about including more DC characters in your AU's and was wondering if you were ever planning on including Kate Kane and/or Renee Montoya as they are two of my favourite characters in all of DC and almost never appear in batfamily fics even though they both work with oracle, nightwing, huntress, and other members a surprising amount in the comics. I like the idea of Kate especially being reluctantly enamoured with Peter, and that she would remind him of Col. Rhodes as I feel they have similar no-nonsense attitudes, dogged determination, and militant mannerisms while being pretty gentle on the inside. You might have answered this before but are Peter and Col. Rhodes close? I would assume they at least know each other pretty well from his friendship with Tony. Also thank you so much for LOF and all your writing - it genuinely brings me so much joy. <3

i 100000% want to write Kate Kane in the future, though i still need to read up on her, Renee, and Helena to make sure i'm writing them correctly. i started LoF worried about juggling too many characters in the plot and also didn't actually know a lot about the batfam outside of what i'd already been reading, considering LoF was supposed to just be me and alighterwood messing around with a silly au, i didn't think to put more than the cast we have. other aus will definitely have them in the future because i feel bad i missed out on them. i briefly considered putting at least Kate in LoF, but i feel like she would have at least been MENTIONED before now, and it would feel like a cheap throw in. she deserves more attention in another au

and i hadn't thought about it, but Kate and Rhodey ARE pretty similar. Since Rhodey is Tony's best friend, he and Peter get along very well! i hadn't mentioned him too much in LoF itself because, well, LoF was supposed to be 15 chapters originally. it was supposed to be wrapped up a while ago but then i got a little too into writing it. and i made a mistake forgetting how present he'd have been in Peter's life. admittedly, this comes back to me having a hard time juggling so many characters. he'll be showing back up in a couple chapters (when we finally get our Avengers POV) and i hope to remedy that mistake

[pretzel-box]

Hello everyone.

This will be a rather long post about some things I wanna adress, including the fact that I plan to stop writing for Pressure, my OCS and other peoples Ocs in the near future.

Down under the cut is a list with my personal view, issues and some other things that lead to this decision. Maybe I miss a lot or don't go too deep into detail but the main points are covered.

But before I would like to add that this is MY opinion and MY choice. I let you think of it what you want but I also request that you respect my actions.

The first point is probably already clear from the start. Maybe some noticed, maybe not but I fell out of love with the fandom and the game itself. It became boring to play, the characters lost their charm and I can't come up with any creative scenarios anymore and the ones that already exists have lost their meaning. This may sound like the typical burnout thing and maybe it is but I'm more than certain that I wanna step away from the game and the fandom to focus on other things that bring me more joy. Maybe I start a multifandom writing blog or I just learn another hobby.

The second thing that is close connected to the first point is the fandom of the game, including the community on tumblr. A huge part are super sweet people with a very creative side. I would go as far and say that I brought some of those together with my projects and writing and it really makes me happy to see everyone interact so friendly on my blog.

But something that I haven't adressed is the fact that there are also plenty of hardcore fans, haters and weird people in my askbox or general in the fandom. It is to be expected when someone gains a massive amount of followers. But I do not accept the fact that people judge me based on what I write, who I write for, when I write and if I write at all. I delete those asks. Some telling me that my community project is awful, unserious and pulls other ocs into dirt. Other people are claiming that I don't write Sebastians Character right and oh wow seriously? I am not Sebastians creator, I do not have that ultimate deep lore and mindset to write a person 1:1. I get hate for my own stories and of course the fans could now come to my protetion and say „But Chea don't listen to the haters, you are amazing“ but it doesn't fix the thing in a slightest.

Also regards the people that praise me, some of them ( I won't name anyone) are counting to those weird people that force me. There were 2 or 3 people that acted all sweet in public only to try and take control of some story plots etc.

Also, I started writing when Pressure was first raising to be popular. There weren't many pressure writers out there. I am usually not someone that posts their work online, I don't comment on stuff and I rarely like something. But I really wanted to see more pressure fanfictions. Now we reached the point where there are more than plenty amazing writers and I can quit. There is no need for me to continue something that only makes me hate myself more because everytime I open my notes to write a story for pressure it feels like a mental torture. I leave the writing to the other blogs.

The status for now:

AASB gets discontinued.

Reverse AU gets discontinued.

Streamer AU will recieve 6 more chapters to end the story on a good term.

House of Entities will get continued for a small period of time, probably till I am done with the Streamer AU. There is no plan for the chapter count yet.

All requests in the inbox will get deleted and the inbox itself will be closed after Streamer AU finished.

Any other unnamed project will get discontinued as well.

All stories, one shots, series, drabbles and other works of mine are free to use. Other authors can pick them up, re-write them or just make an own story out of those. I drop all rights for the ideas and I won't demand any credits either. Maybe someone else would like to continue House of Entities as well.

My final word, which may sound repeating: I do not change my opinion, there won't be any motivation talks or sugar coated words that will change my stand in those things. I know some of you will try and comfort me but this is really not needed. I wish for you all to accept the outcome of this situation and move on more or less.

I apologize dearly because this is very sudden and I hope you all will understand.

-Chea

[sylveriasarcana]

writing Benson chapters for my longfic and. gonna share my Writing For Benson thoughts

so the thing with Benson for me is that in the movie, we are seeing him at his absolute worst. this is a deeply unusual day for him, he is probably not usually like this. like he knows he has hit rock bottom and can't go any lower: first hour of the movie is reveling in that, like "aaaayyyy can't get worse than this! let's laugh and smoke cigarettes and slap this twink around a little, why not, right??? HA I LOVE ROCK BOTTOM, LET'S FIX THIS WEIRD LITTLE MAN SO I DON'T HAVE TO FOCUS ON THE FACT I JUST RUINED MY OWN LIFE LMAO"

but then post-Sheppard, rock bottom just... stops being fun. it's like "wait... what if I don't want to be left behind? what if i want to be fixed too? how come Randy gets to heal and I don't? i didn't deserve any of what happened to me, and yet, all people are gonna remember me as is 'the guy that snapped and killed his coworkers'. they're not gonna remember Sheppard that way. rock bottom isn't fun anymore"

like Benson's highest of highs and lowest of lows both come from the shooting, and for the most part we only see him in the context of that, so... what is he outside of that?

like if i'm doing a canon divergent fic where the shooting didn't happen, i'm focusing largely on the lack of joy we see in the first half of the movie: the exhilaration of knowing you can't possibly go any lower than rock bottom isn't going to be there without the shooting, so what IS there? exhaustion, maybe exasperation, hopelessness, perhaps what led to the shooting in the first place? what can i play with there?

and if i'm doing a fic where the shooting DID happen but Benson lived, what happens after the lowest of lows? benson didn't expect to survive the events of that day, what happens if he does? relief, or maybe even disappointment? why is that? how might he deal with that?

i think Benson is so rewarding to write for because there's so much unspoken to think about and write about and bring to life - who is this guy outside of this one huge life changing incident?

that's why Benson is a character I can never bring myself to think 'he would not fucking say that' about whenever I'm reading fic, because... i don't know what he'd say! and neither does he! "who knows where we're gonna be in 7 hours" this guy doesn't know wtf is going on or why he did what he did!! and neither do we!!! so let's just WRITE!!! let's PLAY WITH OUR BLORBOS AND BE MERRY

Benson is kinda nerve wracking for me to write for because he is a very beloved and complex character and I'm constantly worried about fucking it up, but then I remember: probably everyone is. though the secret is - it's near impossible to fuck up writing for Benson, because there's so many potential elements of the character to focus on. sure everyone's gonna have preferences, but hey! someone might really like your interpretation too!

ramble over, back to my Benson chapter. and once i've kicked my recent crippling fear of accidental plagiarism, I will also read YOUR Benson chapters!!!!!

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 4

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Gif by:@sh214

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

*! New warnings will be listed first !*

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: ~2.3K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

Hi there! To those of you who have read and are still with me, THANK YOU! I love you all. I'm sorry that my chapters are taking longer and longer. Work has been a bit more hectic lately and I also just had some serious writer's block with this chapter. That being said, it feels a little rough and I apologize if its awful lol. But either way, thanks for hanging in there with me and please let me know what you think! Your comments make me happy!

__________

You groaned, stepping out of bed and drifting towards the bathroom. Your face was sticky and your eyes stung from crying late into the night. It was silly, naive, and frankly stupid… but sometimes you can't control how hard emotions hit. Seeing that Pedro didn't actually watch your video was a let down - to put it mildly. Obviously he's a popular guy. A star. He has better things to do.

You should be grateful he even responded to your Instagram message before. Even though it hurts, surely he has more interesting things to do than message someone like you. Just because you wrote a song and he said he liked it doesn't mean he owes you anything more.

So after a fitful night's sleep, you were utterly exhausted; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Luckily, it was still your weekend and you could rest today. 

More like spend the day wallowing in your self pity… you think, disdainfully at yourself.

Looking in the mirror, you notice your puffy eyes. There's some new acne, and a mop of frizzy hair on your head. After using the toilet, you step on your bathroom scale before your shower; a morning routine you started during years of dieting. Another 3 pounds. Up again?!

You look in the mirror, pinching your stomach with a sigh. I guess I shouldn't have had those cookies yesterday…

The food guilt creeps up as you think of the goodies you've eaten recently. Cookies yesterday, fast food the day before. You were bitter that you weren't one of those people that could just magically eat whatever they wanted without gaining an ounce. 

But you aren't, and you should know better. 

Frustrated with your appearance, you begin your usual internal debate about how to fix it.

Maybe I should go back on the diet…

But the diet caused you so many problems. Remember the stomach issues? The hunger? The lack of joy? Binge eating on cheat days until you were sick?

But! I lost so much weight!

Yeah, until you started gaining weight…

Maybe I didn't cut enough. People said I looked so good. I was *almost* skinny.

Maybe people would like me more if I was skinny… Maybe Pedro would like me if I were skinny. There's no way he would be with me looking like this.

These were the debates that plagued you for months… years… a lifetime.

You showered, tears beginning to flow again as you tried to push out the thoughts. He was probably just busy, but either way you knew you didn't have a chance. 

Your friends were right. You were an obsessed fan. It was… concerning, as they said. They pitied you when you felt sad about your feelings. Just find someone you actually have a chance with, they pushed. Someone real.

But... he did message you. Maybe he didn't even know you had an interview yesterday? Maybe he watched it later. You were being utterly ridiculous. It didn't matter anyway.

But what you didn't know was that Pedro felt just as disappointed. He wanted to be the one on your list. The one you loved. He went to bed just as mopey as you did and woke up just the same.

_____

Having washed away your bad feelings as best as you could, you gave Skipper a kiss on his little forehead and made some coffee while scrolling Instagram. You were nervous to see what people had to say about your interview, but you had to face the music eventually.

As you could have predicted, people were running through the potential suspects (or prospects, that is) who have brown curly hair and brown eyes. Some supported you and loved your interview. Others criticized you for being too chicken to show yourself. 

You weren't used to this level of attention, and you really weren't sure you enjoyed it. But you were grateful to have your two lives kept separate, your true persona still shaded in privacy.

What you did not predict, was a notification popping up from Pedro, interrupting your scrolling. Forgetting to breathe, you immediately clicked on it. If the message were food from the oven, you would've burnt your hand the way you grabbed it so fast. 

Perhaps I should've been a little more chill about opening this so quickly... Oh well.

Pedro Pascal messaged you: "Hey! I watched your interview yesterday. You did fantastic. I know fame is new to you and you're nervous, but you're a natural."

Your heart swelled. He did watch it!! He must have just been busy during the live stream.

You replied: "Pedro! You watched it!?! Thank you so much. That really means a lot to me."

Pedro read your message immediately, but instead of sharing in your level of excitement, he was hit with a wave of confusion instead. She must just be trying to not hurt my feelings. She already knows I watched it.. unless she didn't even notice my name. Or she didn't care enough to look for it…?

He decided to play along with it anyway. "Absolutely, I did. I've had it marked on my calendar since the day it was announced a couple days ago and watched it as it was streamed live."

His response took you by surprise, and then made you angry. If he really watched it, he would know that they gave you a list of the people who watched it live. Why was he lying to you about it?

You started to plan out your response, maybe even send an accusatory comeback, but then you thought about it again.

Why would he lie about it? What would he gain by lying? He messaged you.

With this in mind, you instead chose to take a different approach. One better designed for fishing. One you had to be very careful about, so as not to reveal the fact that you looked for his name.

"Wait!? You watched it live? I didn't see you on the list. You're one of the few people I've spoken to who actually seem genuinely friendly and interested in having a conversation with me. I had sort of hoped you were listening."

There. That doesn't sound too revealing, right? Totally friendly…

Pedro opened your message and was met with both confusion, and something else he wasn't expecting. Hope. Did you look for his name??

Still, he wanted to address the confusion. "You didn't see me on the list? That's odd.. but I'm sure there were a lot of names to scan through. Maybe my name was just buried in that list."

You knew it wasn't buried. He was the only name you looked for. The only name you cared about seeing on that list, not that you'd admit that to him right now. But you also didn't want him to feel that insignificant either.

"There were a lot of names, I'll give you that. But I swear you weren't there. Were you logged into your account? Maybe your Internet crashed, or you missed part of it?"

Instantly he remembered the ten or so minutes that Oscar interrupted him. 

Oscar!

"Oh shit! That's it. Oscar barged into my house while I was watching it and I slammed my laptop closed."

"Oscar… Isaac? Wait, why did you slam your laptop closed?"

"Yeah, that's the one. And… I don't know. He just surprised me, I guess. It wasn't a planned visit."

Slamming your laptop closed is an odd reaction to your friend visiting, but okay, you thought.

"So you closed your laptop, and missed a few minutes. And that must have been the moment they pulled the list of viewers."

Pedro replied. "It must have. But I was there, more than happy to listen to what you had to say"

If my name had been on the list, would her answer have been different? When asked whether the man she loved was on the list and she said no, would my name have changed anything? Pedro wanted to ask you these questions. But he couldn't. Not only was he scared, but he also didn't want it to come off as some douchey comment that made you uncomfortable. He wanted to get to know you better, even if just as a friend, and he wouldn't let a silly little crush ruin that.

You sent a response that could be deemed as friendly or neutral, still cautious. "Thank you Pedro. I'm really glad you watched it."

He replied without hesitancy. "Of course. But, I am sorry that your guy wasn't on that list."

He sounds genuine. Not like he's fishing for information like everyone else on the internet. In turn, you decide to be playful with your response. Risky, but still not too revealing. "It's okay. It turns out that list wasn't as accurate as I once thought it was" you typed with a smirk.

"So maybe he was watching after all," Pedro answered.

"Maybe he was."

Pedro soon changed the subject, "I did enjoy hearing about your favorite things, though. You may know this already, but I love movies. Some of the ones you mentioned are a couple of my favorites as well. But as for your favorite books, I haven't read them, but I've been meaning to find a new book to read."

The fact that he was a reader made your heart flutter; the thought of him sitting with a book, his glasses perched on his nose, brow furrowed as he stroked his thumb over his lip in deep concentration. You were overjoyed at the thought of him reading *your* favorite book and potentially having someone to talk to about it. Before you knew it, you had frantically sent multiple excited messages.

You: "Oh! If you read any of my favorite books we HAVE to talk about them!"

Second message: "AGH the first book I mentioned is my favorite, out of all of them. The ending blew my mind. And the characters were just so amazing! Well except for that one guy.. but I won't spoil that…"

Third message: "But my favorite character has the greatest lines!!! Sometimes I like to quote it but nobody else gets it. And the way the author describes the settings is so magical, it makes you want to be there."

Pedro caught himself smiling at his phone, wrapped up in your excitement, as you were finally able to talk to someone about your favorite book. It was adorable how happy you seemed.

He started to type a reply when you sent another message. "Shoot… I'm sorry. I got a little too carried away…"

"Who told you that?"

Huh?

"Who told me what?" You asked.

"Who made you feel like you had to stop talking when you became excited about your interests?"

His question took you aback, but your mind struggled to pinpoint the answer to it. There's been so many people that have told you that over the years. People you assumed were friends. An old crush who didn't like multiple text messages at once. Classmates who would complain or make fun. It was routine.

"Oh. It's not a big deal. It's just something I've heard over the years. But I also know how I get and I don't want to be too much. I'm sorry. I don't want to monopolize the conversation too much either. But hey, you didn't mention, what are your favorite books?" You tried to change the topic.

Pedro felt that protective feeling bubble up in his chest again.

"Over the years!? There have been multiple occasions?" Pedro shook his head, even though you couldn't see through the text. "I'm sorry anyone ever made you feel that way or said anything to imply that your interests weren't worthy of being heard. Fuck them. They should be thankful that you shared your interests."

They should be grateful to hear your beautiful voice get so excited. To get to see your excitement and smile, Pedro thought to himself angrily. He hoped he could someday witness you getting excited over your interests in person too.

"Thank you Pedro. But really, it's okay. I know I get a little… obsessive and crazy, especially with sending multiple texts, so I don't blame them. Haha. :)" you tried to soften the mood.

"I don't want you to ever feel that way with me. I liked hearing you talk about your interests."

You began to type, but Pedro beat you to the punch.

"In fact… if you'd like to talk more," he gave you his phone number. "Feel free to text me, or you can call me too. I like talking on the phone, but I know not everyone does."

Holy shit. Is this real life? Did Pedro Pascal just give me his phone number? And ask me to call him?

Truthfully, your introverted self really didn't like talking on the phone. But the idea of talking to Pedro, hearing his voice on the other end of your phone was too much to handle.

What you didn't realize, was that Pedro wanted it just as bad.

Your fingers danced over your phone keyboard, trying to find the right words for a reply. What do you say when the love of your life (that you didn't think you would ever have a chance with) gives you his phone number?

Pedro watched anxiously as the three dot-dot-dots of typing appeared and disappeared over and over. His heart was racing, and he began to worry he may have overstepped this time. 

Why did you give her your number? She's going to think you like her!!! 

But you do like her, you idiot, Pedro berated himself.

He ran his hand down his face, waiting for your response in agonizing suspense. But instead of hearing the pop of a notification, his phone began to ring instead, an unknown number displayed on the home screen.

Wait… is that her? Is she CALLING me?!

He answered frantically, practically dropping his phone in the process. 

"Hello?"

"Hello? Pedro? It's me.."

You heard him give a breathless laugh before answering with a gentle "Hi."

_____

Thank you for reading!! Let me know your thoughts :) More will be coming soon. I know this is a painfully slow burn lol. Thanks for being patient.

Next chapter! Here

_____

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibley84 @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon

[aardelea]

Whatever works

Here’s a little romantic and also sad story featuring Zenji—around 2.3k words. The story contains major spoilers, so it’s best to skip this if you haven’t read the Hotarubi chapter yet. The MC is named 'Nao' in this story, as I prefer having a specific name for the character I’m writing about. Otherwise, enjoy the read!

You can't remember the last time you felt this good since meeting Zenji. The eccentric poet has completely turned your life upside down since you met him a few months ago.

You had a lot in common: your love for poetry, music, art… and your shared romantic streak. Not a day went by where you didn’t see each other, philosophizing together about the most meaningful and meaningless ideas and creating new stories, which you both brought to life on paper. By now, you’d even had the honor of relieving Haku from his duties as cameraman from time to time, stepping into his role yourself. Of course, Zenji could sometimes get lost in his enthusiasm, making it hard to bring him back down to earth, but that was exactly what you loved so much about him. He always gave himself completely to the moment and his emotions without ever seeming forced. Every feeling he expressed was always genuine and sincere.

Often, the two of you would spend hours talking in bed before sleep finally took you. Most of the time, Zenji was gone by the time you woke up in the morning, but he always left a little note on the table, wishing you a magical day and saying how much he looked forward to seeing you again.

To avoid making you feel suffocated, he let you fulfill your daytime tasks and spend time with your friends before you’d meet again in the evening. Even though you’d told him countless times that you’d be happy for him to visit during the day, he insisted that you should enjoy your life on campus as much as possible. So, it was always up to you to visit him in Hotarubi after your duties were done for the day. It apparently never occurred to him that he was the one who made life in Darkwick so enjoyable in the first place.

During the day, you usually spent your free time with Luca and Kaito, with whom you shared many classes. You quickly grew fond of both of them and always had a great time together, both on and off-campus.

Today, you were out with Kaito on your way to the diner to kill some time before the next class. On the large lawn in front of the main building, you saw Haku and Zenji talking in the distance. Seeing Haku with his phone in hand, you assumed Zenji was working on the video idea he’d told you about recently. A sad smile crossed your face as you thought about how he just couldn’t—or wouldn’t—understand that he would never appear in those videos. But you would be the last person to force that reality on him, so you, like Haku, just played along.

Haku quickly noticed you and waved with a tired smile. When Zenji turned and saw you, it was as if the sun rose, his face lighting up so brightly. He waved excitedly and smiled at you with that dazzling smile that always made your heart flutter.

“You really seem to get along well with Haku, huh?” Kaito commented as you waved back happily at the two of them. The joy of this chance encounter must have been written all over your face.

“Hm, what? Haku? Uh… yeah, sure. We get along well. He’s a good friend,” you replied, a little confused. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, your eyes always light up when you see him. And you do seem to spend a lot of time in Hotarubi,” Kaito said, looking at you with an almost sad smile as he waited for your reaction. “I-I’m really sorry, honestly! I didn’t mean to be nosy or anything.”

“No, no, Kaito. I’m sorry, I just hadn’t noticed. When I see Haku, it’s usually because he has good news for me. That’s all.” You chuckled a bit to yourself at the double meaning of your words. As much as you liked Haku, your good mood was never solely due to him when you saw each other.

Kaito suddenly stopped and looked down at the ground, embarrassed. You stood in front of him, watching him with a mix of concern and confusion. “Is everything okay, Kaito? Not in the mood for the diner today? We can always do something else if you’d like.”

He sniffled softly, tears beginning to form in his eyes. “You’re always so damn kind, Nao. And I don’t deserve it, not with how careless I am.”

Oh no, there it was again. Kaito’s never-ending insecurity. You always did your best to build him up and boost his confidence, but his negative feelings about himself ran too deep to be chased away by words alone.

You squeezed his hand tightly, concerned. “Kaito, what on earth is wrong? Everything’s fine. You haven’t upset me or anything like that.”

“Please forgive me. I’m such an idiot, and I doubt that will ever change in this lifetime. But I have to say it now, or I’ll lose my mind. I like you, Nao… I mean really like you. Not just as a friend.”

You’d already suspected it but had pushed the thought away as much as possible. Kaito couldn’t hold back his feelings, which was one of the things you liked about him. And it wasn’t exactly a secret that he felt more for you than friends usually did. You’d always made an effort not to give him false hope, and you valued honesty with him to avoid misleading him. But as you knew all too well, you can’t choose who you fall in love with. So, this day had to come.

“That’s so sweet of you, Kaito. I really appreciate your words, and they mean a lot to me. But as much as I’d like to, I can’t return your feelings. I’m sorry.”

Although tears fell to the ground between you, a tired smile spread across Kaito’s lips. “It’s okay. It’s not like I expected anything different. I don’t stand a chance against charming, good-looking guys like Haku anyway. I just needed to get it off my chest. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine soon enough. Idiots like me always bounce back quickly. Excuse me…”

Before he could turn and walk away, you took the initiative and hugged Kaito tightly. You could feel his wet cheeks against your neck. “Don’t even think about just walking away.”

Kaito seemed too surprised to move. Before he could say anything, you continued, “You’re my best friend, Kaito, and I mean that. You’re an amazing, warm-hearted person, and you mean the world to me. Don’t ever forget that. And no chance against men like Haku? You’re at least as lovable as him, if not more! Don’t you dare have such terrible thoughts again.”

Kaito tried to pull away, but each time, you held him even tighter. “Then why him and not me…?”

“Why do you keep bringing up Haku? I don’t have any deeper feelings for him. I promise. I’m just not ready to be with someone right now, you know? It’s just not the right time.”

You stayed like that for a while, and you could feel that you were starting to attract attention. But the stares didn’t bother you. At least no one was close enough to overhear your conversation. The last thing you wanted was for Kaito to be teased for being rejected.

When you were sure he wouldn’t suddenly turn around and run away, you slowly loosened your grip on him, placed your hands on his shoulders, and looked into his eyes. His cheeks and eyes were still red, but at least he had stopped crying.

“You’re too kind, Nao. I’m sorry for always causing you so much trouble.”

You laughed warmly. “Life here in Darkwick definitely wouldn’t be the same without you, Kaito. I wouldn’t give up these ‘troubles’ for anything.”

You let him go, pulled a tissue from your pocket, and handed it to him. “I understand if you’d rather be alone right now. But if you still want to go to the diner with me, I’d be happy to have you.”

He looked down, embarrassed, thinking for a few moments before looking back at you with a smile, even if it seemed a bit forced this time. “Sorry, but I think I’d rather be alone for a bit. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

You nodded understandingly and watched him walk off toward Frostheim. You sighed quietly and continued on your way to the diner in silence. A short break would be best for you, too.

After finishing up the day’s tasks, you decided not to visit Zenji in Hotarubi this time. Too much was on your mind to pretend everything was fine. You got ready for bed and lit a few candles to reflect your melancholic mood.

You stood in front of the mirror, looking at yourself with your head tilted. You felt honored that someone had taken you so deeply into their heart. Even though Kaito was the type who typically chased after every more or less pretty girl, you knew that his feelings for you were genuine.

“Stunning as always. Even in your pajamas.”

You saw Zenji standing at the end of your room. He smiled at you, but there was also something sad in his expression.

“I’m sorry I didn’t visit you today. It was actually quite hectic.”

“Don’t worry about it, my dear. I noticed what happened today and figured you needed some time for yourself.”

“Oh, really?” you began cautiously.

“Of course! The magical love that flickered in the air when I saw you back there was hard to miss.” Zenji seemed to be back in his element, brimming with enthusiasm.

“Eh… that’s not exactly how I would have put it, but if you say so…”

“No need to hold back, my dearest! It was only a matter of time before this day came. I simply couldn’t resist congratulating you in person.”

You stared at him in confusion. “I think you might have misunderstood.”

“It’s truly very noble of you, but you really don’t have to consider me! The dream was lovely while it lasted, but I was always prepared to wake up and face reality eventually. One day, I would have to make way for someone who deserves your time more than I do.”

“But that’s not how it is…”

Zenji was quick to interrupt. “Shh, my dear, you really don’t have to explain anything. I truly appreciate your concern and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world that I had you for as long as I did. Believe me, these wonderful memories will stay with me for the rest of my life. But as they say, one should leave when it’s at its best. Oh, and how wonderfully beautiful it was!”

“Wait, farewell? I would never…”

“It’s just as hard for me, believe me! But maybe we’ll still see each other here and there if you happen to wander back to Hotarubi.”

The man was unstoppable.

“Zenji…”

“Or, if fate is kind to us, we might run into each other on campus like today.”

“Zenji!”

You knew you had to stop him before he got completely carried away. After raising your voice, he froze for a moment.

“Thank you. So, let’s start over. What exactly do you think you saw?”

“Kaito confessed his love to you, and you reciprocated it while hugging him. Oh, what a wonderful scene that was! Kaito taking matters into his own hands and forging his own destiny! Such commendable action!”

“That’s not what happened, Zenji. Quite the opposite.”

“What…? How do you mean?”

You sat on the edge of the bed and gestured for Zenji to sit beside you. Then you told him everything that had happened, in minute detail.

“Oh… that’s truly sad. I hope the honorable gentleman remains strong and recovers quickly. And all because you happily waved at us. I will demand that Haku apologize to Kaito.”

“Eh…? How many times do I have to say it? I’m not glowing because of Haku, but because of you, Zenji. And only because of you.”

He stared at you in silence for a moment, before suddenly exclaiming in shock. “Oh my goodness, then I need to apologize to him!”

“First of all, it would be nice if everyone could calm down. No one needs to apologize for anything. That’s just the way things go, and disappointments are part of life. No one did anything wrong.”

Zenji stared thoughtfully at the floor. He must have started to understand what you were getting at.

“Believe me, I wish I had fallen for someone like Kaito or Luca, but that’s not how it works. It can’t be changed that someone else is involved.”

Zenji looked shocked again. “So you lied to him when you said you had no feelings for Haku?”

“I abhor violence, but I swear, if anyone mentions Haku again, they’ll get one. No! But I couldn’t exactly tell him I have feelings for a ghost instead of him.”

Zenji’s expression shifted from cheerful to melancholic.

“I’m truly flattered that a simple fool like me has a place in your heart. And I can’t exactly say that I don’t cherish every single second with you and long for your presence when we’re not together, but…”

“No ‘buts’, Zenji. You mean a lot to me, and I don’t regret a single second spent with you instead of anyone else. I want to enjoy countless more moments with you, as long as fate allows.”

He looked deeply into your eyes. Sadness marked his delicate features. “But you should be with the living, my dear. It’s no use wasting energy on me. Unfortunately, we just met too late.”

“Maybe we did. But I won’t let anyone take the remaining time from me. Only when you’re here do I feel truly alive. Nothing can change that.” You raised a hand and held it in the air between you, as if pressing it against an invisible wall. Zenji mirrored the gesture and placed his hand against yours.

Even though you couldn’t physically touch each other, you could almost feel his warmth.

“I’ve never been good at saying no to you.” Zenji’s smile made your heart race.

You smiled warmly back at him. “Let me be your heartbeat until the end.”

[oh-no-its-dragons]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup (Distrated Version)

aka only the ones I can do off the top of my head after the first few questions because otherwise I'll never get this done

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

On AO3, I've got 150,559 words for the year.

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

Oooh "complete" is not a thing I'm good at, but let me see...

Looks like there were three multichapter fics and about twenty one-shots. I've gotten better at making something a series instead of an open-ended multi-chapter fic when that's what makes more sense for it.

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Started posting? Only three. I've got a few more in my WIP files but they don't count until there's something posted somewhere.

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

This is a super hard question for me and not only because I forget everything exists once it's posted. Maybe Country Air? I'm enjoying The Cure Is Worse Than The Poison except for when I hate it. I had a lot more fun writing Defying Gravity than I expected, and Early Tyrrish Romantic Poetry was an act of love so it's especially close to my heart.

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

Gotta be the faux-translated ancient dramatic poems, lol.

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

Defying Gravity probably surprised me the most- there's probably two or three points in there where I had a good idea of what would happen and then when I got there it just. Didn't happen that way.

9. Who is an artist/author that inspired you?

Can I just list the entire Riders Quadrant discord? Because seriously I had so much fun writing fic and talking about it this year. @suebswrites helped me restructure both Poison and Defying Gravity in ways that made them better. @alexandia03 and @siobhanbooks and @essjaywrites and @tegantales all made me think a probably unhealthy amount about Imrrick. @yanny-77 and @siobhanbooks made me fall in love with Bodoc and Bodhi in general. @fantasywithkassidy's adorable Altitude Adjustment is directly responsible for the modern-with-magic AU Moth and I are starting. @lizardsrunfast and @saranova and @hockeyspiral23 are incredible writers who all inspired my design work which has been like a whole new bonus hobby. @illustratinghan and @essjaywrites and (ig)cuddlydevil1114 and (ig)mangaurania all make me want to be a better artist every time I pick up my tablet. I'm blanking on tumblr names for Mint and Mara_Leigh but both of them blew my mind too, and @overjoyedisland and @shipmistress9 and @caeli0306 all writing amazing stuff and @serahadmoni and @greeneyedwildthing killing me with the meta and... shit I'm sure I'm forgetting people too. This fandom is so fucking talented.

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

I mean, the whole fandom? I discovered the whole fandom. I'm endlessly impressed by how many people in this fandom wrote for the first time this year and are killing it right out of the gate, y'all are amazing.

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

@sarcasticmothwrites is my favorite person in the world

like how it started is they picked up Fourth Wing as a lucky day at the library and read it in less than a week and made me read it immediately and we couldn't stop talking about it. and then I made them join the discord, and we either co-write or beta everything for each other anyway because we're just that couple. lol.

14. What is your advice?

Write what makes you happy. Try things because they seem fun or because you always wanted to and haven't yet. If you told me a year ago I'd be designing t-shirts and making stickers I'd have laughed. I learned to make discord emotes! I got my first tattoo! In 2025 I'm going to try getting acrylic charms done and I'm going to try doing my own embroidered weapons patches for my denim jacket.

Just find time to do what brings you joy and celebrate with other people when they find their joy.

[foodsies4me]

17, 21, 25, 30 :)

17. Share your favorite opening line

My favorite opening line has to be for the trainee POV fic that I wrote for one of my FTH fics. It was just so ridiculous and funny that it still brings me joy. I’m adding the whole song Julian -one of the trainees- wrote just because it works better that way, but here it is:

Twelve little kids went out to play,

Over the hills and far away

Their big mama bear Alec

He might just get a heart attack.

Get a heart attack.

Get a heart attack.

21. What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

Oh, I have several of these and yes they usually change the story either making it longer or changing the course for it entirely. In BOLOS/Bridges, Alec wasn’t supposed to get so close to the werewolves, but they all decided he needed some friends and told me to deal with it. So that has altered already quite a few chapters including the last one and the next one (that has been sitting finished but unedited in my drafts for weeks againavdbfjg’g)

In Apollo, Jace wasn’t supposed to find out about what happened with Alec and his daemon (nor was Izzy) so it also shifted some things later down the line, as in really shifted them. It’s why I haven’t updated that story really the past few months because I’m rewriting so much because of that choice he decided to insert himself in.

And, last but not least, in remember today you are loved I didn’t expect Catarina to have so much to say or for her POV to be quite this enjoyable, which is why the supposed to be a short fic ended up being longer than expected as well.

25. How did you recharge between fics?

I haven’t finished quite that many fics this year sadly - too many long WIPs that are too long. But! For me recharging between writing is being able to read or reread fics or books and draw/doodle whatever sparks my interest. I’m still not very good at it but I hope to get to a point where I feel confident enough I can draw my ridiculous gaggle of trainees.😊

30. What would you like to write next year?

Write or publish?😁

No, I have a couple of fics that are mostly ready and only need to be edited before I can start posting them - one of them being a collab fic with @to-the-stars-writing that of course stars dragon!Alec. I also have a social media/celebrity Malec fic I would love to start posting once I’ve made enough headway into the fic. (Yes, it’s the one I’m stealing your and other people’s usernames for😄)

Then, the obvious answers are also to hopefully try and finish the ongoing wips I already have because the fics I’m hoping to write are all on the longer side as well.

That said, fics I’m hoping to start writing/ working on:

The time travel au that has been haunting me for two years now

the Alec saves Ithuriel fic

A dragon!Alec fic

the Chaorman meow finds Alec to help Magnus fic

These are the fics I’m hoping to be able to start making real headway for in 2025. And this answer for way too ramble-y again.😅

Thank you for asking!

[auroragreenvale]

Peter Pevensie Story - Untitled Pt1

Okay.... another one... another story I've been writing for who knows how long but just don't feel like finishing. Its chapters and notes and rambles and brain dumps. Just stuff lol. Peter Pevensie was my first crush fr and I love this story. Its based on The Selection series and Narnia of course. It started as a story I would play in my head before falling asleep and one night the dialogue and plot was so vivid that I sat up in bed and started writing it on my phone. I actually loved writing this but I honestly didn't fully know where the story was going. There are some plot point in my head that may not even be written down but I didn't really have a full plot. I also started writing with it formatted like a script. Some of it is not correctly formatted and may not even say who is speaking (yikes!). But I am proud of what I did write and we shouldnt be so scared to share something unfinished. Maybe it can inspire someone else! Hope you enjoy.

*and if anyone can think of a good title let me know LOL

---

Fluff, mild angst, he falls first and harder, arranged?? sorta to lovers

--

Angelina sighed. “You will have to choose a gown to wear eventually. Mother is a talented seamstress but she cannot work magic. The ball is in three days.” 

“I am trying but none of these gowns feels like the right one to wear to my first ball.” Her older sister laughed.

“ My dear sister, we are not nearly wealthy enough for you to wear ‘the right gown’. You must make due.” 

“Maybe not the right gown but there must be something better than these. You couldn’t truly picture me wearing any of these. I’d look like… I was pretending to be you! And I know you have at least a few more…” she said letting her words hang in the air hopefully.  Angelina sighed. “Would you please go and get them for me? After all, a girl only attends her first ball once”. 

She could not help but smile at her younger sister's excitement. She loved attending balls and she loved her sister. Angelina was positively beaming every time she thought of sharing such a special night with her closest sibling and being able to bring her just a little more joy. She returned with three more gowns, the three she had deemed not suitable for this particular ball. It was currently very common in Narnia at the moment to wear darker colors and often velvet if one could afford it. Particularly this ball would be a sea of reds, purples, and greens because although the ball was being held for the High King to find a wife, it was truly Queen Susan’s ball. She was known for throwing the most spectacular parties in all of Narnia. While she knew how to host sophisticated parties for diplomats and visiting royals, she most loved celebrating lavishly with her subjects. A deep turquoise was said to be her color, which adorned her coronation cape so many years ago, along with the deep red that often kissed her lips. If she was putting on a ball, the people honored her with the colors in which she felt the most beautiful. While y/n admired her queen and all she had heard about her, she felt somewhat of an impostor in these royal hues. But she knew exactly which gown she would ask her mother to alter to her correct size as soon as her sister placed it down. She remembered watching her sister depart for the ball, wearing this gown. Y/n had believed it to be the most beautiful thing she had ever laid her eyes on and she realized not much had changed when she looked at it. She could not remember the specific stories she had been told about this particular party, just that her sister seemed to glow even more than usual when she had returned home from her night of dancing. The fabric was light and plenty. It flowed in waves of white, gold, and pink hues and she looked at it, almost afraid to touch it. While she knew her sister was right, that her mother could not perform any magic, she had the strangest and most delightful feeling that the dress itself might be able grant her a wish. She just knew this night would be special. After all, Narnia was full of magic. 

~~~~~~

“Why have I not seen you before,” the mystery man asked as they danced.

“Would there have been a reason for you to lay eyes upon my face prior to this moment?” He laughed in response. 

“I just mean– I have attended quite a number of balls here at Cair Paravel and I am usually somewhat familiar with everyone in attendance.” She furrowed her brows mischievously which made him smile. 

“Well I do so apologize for ruining your sense of ease and comfort but I do assure you I am here on no account of ill will but simply to enjoy this splendid party.” He laughs again at her words, just barely.

“No, do not apologize for you have so far added much excitement to a night I expected to be like any other.” At that moment the music picked up and they focused on the intricate footwork of the quick and jovial dance until the music changed again. She expected him to end their dance and find another partner as the musicians slowed their pace, but his hold on her stayed firm and his feet never paused. He spoke again after a while. 

“You did not answer my question.”

“Do remind me what it is that you inquire.” She smiled as she remembered quite well actually.

“Why is this the first ball at which I have seen you in attendance? Are you visiting from a neighboring kingdom? Hoping to win the King’s affections and he yours?” He asked this casually, almost playfully but he was very interested in her answer. Of all the women there whose intentions were precisely that, she had so far been the most successful. Unwittingly winning the attention and intrigue of the King. But he was still unsure. 

“Well, if I am to be completely honest,” she didn’t know why she felt any need to be, “my family does not have much money. At least not enough for us to eat and have shelter and also attend a ball. I have many siblings but… it is my eldest sister that has the privilege of attending the balls. It is somewhat of an investment you see. My mother and father hope that she may win the hand of a wealthy suitor. It’s sort of ridiculous I know because she would just be whisked off with him, no thought of our family crossing his mind… I’m sorry, what was I…? Oh well, she’d always tell me stories of the lovely balls she attended and I dreamed of seeing if only one. And since this very ball seemed to be such a special occasion, my mother fixed up an old gown of my sisters and allowed me to attend. I know that it's dreadfully out of season but truthfully I’ve never felt more regal. I know it's funny to think myself regal, I’ve heard our queens to be more radiant than the sun but… I feel very lucky to be here and in such a beautiful frock.” She spun out of his arms at that moment as was part of the dance. While every other pair in the ballroom turned, he stayed put, staring at her in awe. She turned back to face him and continue their dance she realized he had been studying her. This made her self conscious and she moved to look away from his intense gaze but he placed a hand on the side of her face before she could.  

“I think you look the very picture of a queen.” He spoke with such seriousness that she was stunned and unsure how to react. They stayed like that for some time until she noticed people staring.

“Shall we continue with our dance? People are beginning to stare. We must be blocking the dance floor.”

“Let them stare.” He continues taking in her features for a few more moments. “But if you insist, let us return to our dance.” She smiles softly at this, taking his hand again. The music, having changed again in their pause, is much slower. He pulls her in closer and moves them smoothly across the floor as a pair. 

“Might I learn the name of whom such a beautiful visage belongs to?” Then it was her turn to laugh.

“Why, you flatter me so. I truly did not expect such attention from my first ball,” she said sincerely. There is a pause and he looks at her expectantly. She concedes. 

“It is y/n.”

“It is beautiful. A name as such I would be bold to think, would sound so lovely falling from my lips forever.” She is taken aback, but only for a moment before she responds.

“And might I inquire as to the name of the gentleman before me?”

“Peter, I need to speak with you. It is urgent.” Peter stops, his look of adoration turning quickly to one of annoyance. While the fondness in his gaze made you slightly nervous, you decided you much preferred his tenderness to the frustration you currently saw, although it was not aimed at you. A beautiful woman clothed in deep blue had appeared behind him, causing him to pause your dance.

“Su, can’t you see I’m in the middle of something,” he asks, shortly. 

“You know I hate to be torn away from a ball more than anyone but you’ll have plenty of time for this later. The present matter must be attended to immediately. I trust you will see to the affairs of your kingdom above the affections of a maiden.” He winces at her words but steadies himself. You look between the two of them and notice for the first time that the woman wears a delicate crown of gold, placed atop her dark brown hair. Peter… Su… Susan. Queen Susan. In an instant, it dawns on you and you are grateful you had not yet indulged in any of the refreshments as you feel your stomach churn. The woman, the Queen, must have noticed the look on your face and mistaken you feeling unwell for something else. She spoke and you had to concentrate very hard to hear what she said. The music was suddenly very loud. 

“Do forgive me. I do seem to have forgotten my manners. I hope you are enjoying a pleasant evening and that you have not mistaken my frustrations with my brother as any reflection on my feelings toward you. But I do have to ask for a moment of his attention as it truly is urgent.” She gives him one final, stern look and walks away, trusting he will follow. Peter turns to you quickly but as his hand reaches up to graze your cheek, you feel as though he was moving in slow motion. He held you ever so lightly, as if afraid you might blow away and become lost in the wind. He speaks. almost urgently.

“I will return shortly. Wait here?” You do not know how to answer him but even if you did, you think you would presently be unable to call upon your own voice. 

“Please?” You nod, sensing his urgency, knowing you must give him an answer. You notice how gently he once again speaks, now that you are his only audience. With a small smile and a quick nod of his head, he hastily exits the ballroom. For a moment, all you can do is stand there, as couples dance swiftly around you, until you realize you are unsure if you are able to uphold the promise you just made. The promise to the High King. You could not possibly break it and risk his offense at your disrespect. But you cannot possibly wait for his return for one more second. Your feet move you before you know where it is you're going. Searching for you sister, you paced the perimeter of the ballroom now very aware 

So next she will be leaving and literally run into peter as he is returning and they lock eyes and he can tell she looks freaked tf out and then he notices Oreius standing outside the ballroom and looks at him as if to ask him to watch out for her because he is afraid she’ll leave. So he asks whats shes doing and she says she just needed some air and hes like would you mind if I escorted you to the gardens they are lovely at night so they go outside and are talking ab the kings and queens and hes like lol what ab that one thats likes u loll and shes like what and then yeah idk from there

they need to exchange names at some point lol (tn and orieus)

orieus: Good evening miss where are you off to?

She whipped around, slightly frightened at hearing a voice but comforted upon seeing its source.

yn: Oh I just needed to step out for a moment. Thought I might benefit from a bit of fresh air.

orieus: Well in that case might I escort you to the gardens. They are lovely at night.

yn: Oh I couldn’t remove you from your post, I shall be alright inside.

orieus: Nonsense I am entitled to a few moments of respite and I personally like to spend them in the gardens.

yn: You’re sure you wouldn’t mind too terribly having me interrupt your break?

orieus: I’d love the company. 

Time skip they are walking around in the gardens

yn: You were right about the gardens. They’re exquisite. She grows excited at her next thought. And you get to visit them whenever you please? He laughs slightly at her amusement

orieus: Yes. It is a wonderful perk of my job

yn: And what might that job be?

orieus: I am the general of the royal army and presently I also serve as the head of palace security.

yn: That does sound to be a rather large responsibility on your shoulders.

orieus: Well I couldn’t have anyone else protecting the home of my kings and queens. I could not trust the ability of another when it came to their precious lives.

yn: It sounds like you care for them very much.

orieus: Indeed. I helped welcome them to Narnia when they first arrived. I watched them grow into brave warriors and just rulers. They have been more than kind to me. They are friends and I have given my service to them. 

yn: They sound wonderful.

orieus: I should be glad you think so. And what of the High King himself?

She cannot see but Orieus is grinning. 

yn: Well I have yet to form much of an opinion and I do inquire as to what has caused your curiosity in the matter.

orieus: He did wear quite the look of concern upon seeing your exit from the ballroom. And I know the High King well enough to understand that it was not the general concern of a good host. Were you introduced to him at the ball?

yn: Not exactly. Might I confide in you something that I am somewhat ashamed to admit?

orieus: Of course.

He looked down in worry and realized she was smiling.

yn: Well I was dancing with him and we were making conversation and for the duration of our time together I did not know him to be the High King. They both laughed jovially. This is my first visit to Cair Paravel and I have never seen a picture of his majesty. And to concern matters further he was not wearing his crown. It's as if he meant to trick me!

orieus: I can assure you King Peter’s intentions were not of something so malicious. They laughed still. He likes to enjoy these events as anyone might. Forget the duties of the High King. If only for a little while as you saw. The Queen Susan, she is not one to forget her duties.

yn: I gathered… I ought to be returning now I presume… The High King did request quite some time ago that I wait for him to return. Why do you think he would want me to wait? Perhaps I disrespected him or--

orieus: It seems as if he is quite taken with you. 

yn: Oh… you don’t-- you don’t really think so do you? He looks at her knowingly and she is suddenly uncomfortable. Might we discuss something else for the remainder of our journey back to the palace? Tell me more about yourself. I’m sure you have great stories of your battles. 

They talk and he brings her back to the ballroom. Upon reentering the room, she notices the High King atop his throne, his own gold crown now sat upon his head. He is different now, she can tell from across the room. No longer the charming young man she danced with who loves so quickly, but a man hardened by war and the weight of a kingdom. His handsome youth was replaced by a stoic beauty and maturity. She could not deny that he looked magnificent against the gold of his crown but she also knew that she grew intimidated within his regal presence. She tried to move from the doorway in which she stood to across the room from where the king’s gaze wandered but she knew it was of no use. She had insisted on wearing this gown, colored lightly of champagne instead of one of darker jewel tones as was in style. She knew he would find her the second his eyes landed on the billowing (light in color) fabrics between the velvety layers of crimson and violet. She looked for her sister hoping to engage in conversation as to appear occupied but as she looked back toward the singularly occupied throne, her eyes met with the High King’s. He shot up from his royal chair, his reason for sitting there quickly forgotten. She almost ran before realizing how unbecoming of a lady it would be and remembering who she would be running from. How ridiculous to run from a king at his own ball? So she stood still and he reached her side quickly. Before he could speak, she dropped into a low curtsey like her mother had always taught her when she and her siblings would imagine visiting the palace. She did not stand back up quickly, instead enjoying how this stance allowed her gaze to remain at the floor instead of the man before her. He sighed. 

peter: You… you do not have to do that. She stayed there, perhaps even bowing a little lower. Please will you look at me? He reached out, placing his fingers under her chin, startling her. She quickly stood upright and took two steps back. She always believed she would attend a ball and dance the night away. It sounded so easy, so effortless. But now she was overthinking her every gesture, every word. She was here in front of the High King and while his erratic actions seemed careful and sincere, she could not help but be frightened. Her small Narnian village held no expectations for her but now she was in Cair Paravel with its most important resident and she hadn’t a clue as to how she should behave or what she should do. 

yn: I’d like to apologize, your majesty, if I any of my actions have upset you--

peter: The only thing that upset me was when you left after I asked you to stay. He spoke in a gentle voice but she flinched at his words of authority. Although Orieus expressed his belief at the King’s feelings, she was worried still. All that she had been taught by her parents was taking over and she could only think of herself a subject to her King. Never could she imagine being the object of his affection. Not-- I mean, I was concerned that I had done something to upset you. And I was worried you didn’t want to continue our dance. I was having a lovely time with you this evening. She spoke before realizing

yn: Why did you not tell me you were king? He looked as if he might chuckle. She however, thought this was no laughing matter. 

peter: Well it hadn’t crossed my mind really. I usually do not have to introduce myself, especially not in my own palace. 

yn: You didn’t think it odd when I did not curtsey or fall at your feet? There was a bite in her tone and he noticed. She was horribly embarrassed and he was laughing that arrogant laugh. She felt as if she were talking to a different person. Damn that crown.

peter: No I found it refreshing. While people do not usually fall at my feet… he bit back, but he smiled nonetheless it has been a while since I was able to meet someone as just Peter. And I do hope you will continue to think of me as nothing more… and that we may continue our dance. He held out his hand for her to take. She reluctantly placed her hand atop his, and quickly her face was shining again. And for that Peter could not help but grin at the sight of her radiant smile as they began to dance once more. 

yn: It is very hard to think of you as anything less than my king when you wear that crown. 

peter: It is no different than any piece of jewelry you might adorn.

yn: My necklaces do not come with such responsibility. And... people do not usually stare whenever I wear them. She found the thought amusing.

peter: Considering your beauty it would seem as though people could not help but to stare always. She did not know how to respond. He truly knew how to leave her speechless. But if it shall make you feel any better… he stopped their dancing and unclasped their hands. The other he left on her waist she noticed as he removed his crown and looked quickly around him. Ed! He called out to someone and a tall young man wearing a matching silver crown turned to face the High King. Peter smirked at the younger king’s questioning look  as he held out his own crown. Would you mind holding this for me Edmund? It is getting in the way of our dancing. She almost laughed in amazement. He restored their previous position, ready to continue guiding her across the floor, when Edmund spoke.

edmund: I’m glad to see you’ve resumed your dancing, I would’ve hated to hear Susan yell at you about your responsibilities again. She thought little of this, not connecting this ball with any sort of responsibility besides greeting his subjects and enjoying a night with them. Edmund laughed as he spoke then turned to the girl his brother held. I’m Edmund. I hope you haven’t found my older brother too insufferable. If so I do apologize, I’ve tried to tell him about being such a bossy git all the time. Peter rolled his eyes at his little brother. Not knowing quite why, she felt an intensely comforting presence in Edmund that reminded her of her own brother.

yn: No, only a little bossy but I think I will be able to manage for the remainder of the evening. 

edmund: Well then I presume that for your own sake I should hope you are not invited back to the palace. But for my own I shall wish for your return so that we might team up against my brother some more. She gasped suddenly, one hand leaving Peter’s shoulder to cover her mouth in shock. She had remembered something. You’re supposed to be dancing with the eligible women here! That’s what this ball is being held for! You need to find eligible girls to court and here you are dancing with me. Oh I feel so stupid! How much of your time have I wasted? I do apologize-- as she babbled on she began to walk away. Peter grabbed her hand ever so softly and turned her back to him. Edmund has already turned back to the group he had been speaking with before.

peter: And are you not eligible?

yn: Well I-- I am the second born and my sister is here to meet you not I. But even if I was I am not fit for… this! She gestured almost wildly around the room. I’m sorry your majesty but I must go and allow you to spend some time with the other maidens. I do thank you for the dance, and for chasing me around the ballroom, as it has made my first party here most eventful. And I wish you the best of luck in finding your bride. She curtsied one last time and turned away, promptly leaving his side. 

Omg so they get a letter from the palace (bc all of the girls in attendance do) saying whether or not they are invited to come stay at the palace to court the high king and the letter arrives and her sister is so excited and they open it and its for her not the sister. Shes thinking its got to be a mistake and she hasn't told anyone about them dancing so they all go (the families are allowed to live there for the time as well) and they realize its not a mistake and the sister just has to deal with it and shes so mad (she’ll find love eventually) and homegirl is like in a lowkey selection and we will have lots of cute moments :) and they will of course fall and love and end up together happily ever after the end

mother: Darling! Oh sweetheart. The girls’ mother entered into their shared room calling out for her eldest daughter. She seemed almost frantic. Angelina! Darling! You’ve received a letter from the palace.

sister: Mother are you sure? She was afraid to believe it lest it be ripped away from her when she was so close. But her mother retrieved from behind her back an ornately enclosed letter. The two girls looked at the small envelope in awe. It truly was of royalty. The paper shimmered and was lined with gold filigree. A deep red seal held the precious contents in safely and the front held only their family name written in large black letters. Oh mother do open it quickly! Read it out to us! I think myself much too nervous to hold such delicate paper in my quivering hands.

yn: I cannot believe MY sister getting invited to the palace by the High King himself. She had truly almost forgotten about her encounter with the monarch. It had been just another moment at the ball, one she would cherish along with every other. But she was truly thrilled to see her sister so appreciated by the royals. Her older sister was truly the most wonderful person in her eyes and she wished all of her wildest dreams come true. 

sister: Well don’t forget you’ll be right there by my side in Cair Paravel. Oh mother can you just imagine?

mother: Yes, our family running amok in the palace! I can hardly wait. The two girls laughed, knowing how truly magical it would be to share the wonders of the palace with their loving and chaotic family. Now girls, do we still want me to read this?. She was growing impatient with anticipation and excitement. The girls immediately sat up a little straighter, suddenly very attentive, grasping each other's hands tightly. “(last name), We are honored to extend a cordial invitation to your family for an extended stay at the Palace at Cair Paravel. You are welcome to bring any members of your immediate family to the palace and any important items. Upon arrival you will be provided with everything you will need for the duration of your visit. As the guests of honor, Angelina and Y/n… will be attending a special dinner on the night of your arrival followed by a ball to which you are all invited. The proper attire for the event will be provided for all guests . In three days time a carriage will arrive to retrieve all those who will be traveling to the palace and a special wing will be prepared to house you. We are delighted to have you and are eagerly awaiting your presence. Signed: His Majesty the High King Peter the Magnificent, Emperor of the Lone Islands, Lord of Cair Paravel, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion…” The three women were stunned by the unexpected name written in the letter. The girl whose name it was, was the most shocked of them all. She was confused and worried. She felt a similar sickness as she just remembered she had felt after the realization that she had been dancing with the High King. 

sister: I saw you dance with the High King! I didn’t think however that you were trying to take this opportunity away from me!

yn: I did not know I was dancing with the High King!

sister: he did not introduce himself to you?

yn: Well he did eventually…

sister: And you continued to dance with him?

yn: Was I to decline his majesty?This calmed her sister down just barely as she truly thought of the implications of rejecting the High King. In truth, had she said no, King Peter would have respectfully stepped away, finding another dancing partner but his subjects were always worrying themselves with how their actions could in any way disrespect their magnificent King. And truthfully all we did was dance. It was no more exciting than any other dance I had that night. This was a lie that she herself was trying so hard to believe. I even explained to the High King that it was my sister who had come to meet him, not me.

sister: Oh so I have been invited to the palace out of pity! Or is it just to ensure that you do not decline his invitation. “As long as my dear sissy may accompany me as well it sounds splendid!” You are absolutely full of it!

y/n: Angelina I promise I meant no harm–

sister: Well either way you have caused it haven’t you. She stormed out of the room leaving her mother and younger sister standing shocked.

y/n: Mother I am telling the truth. She had tears in her eyes as she looked to her mother for help.

mother: Darling. I believe you. But that does not change things…

y/n: I will just explain to the king when we arrive that I do not wish to participate and–

mother: It is too late. His decision is made and now you must participate regardless of you or your sister's feelings. 

y/n: But… mother

mother: Have we taught you nothing? Royalty is to be revered and obeyed. Lest what happened to your father and I happen to you. Do you understand? She could only silently nod at her mother, suddenly feeling guilty and remarkably sad. She had heard the stories often, from her parents and other Narnians, about the years gone by. A time she could not remember, before the current Kings and Queens took their seat on the throne. It was a dark and difficult time for the kingdom and left a sense of fear instilled in some, even during times of peace. Her parents had passed down their intense caution to each of their children in hopes to protect them should peace ever be disrupted. So being an obedient daughter, she went to begin packing her things. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~first night ball?? idk i love the ide of this happening while dancing but i feel like there’s too many parties especially balls… but i also feel like this needs to be the first night~~~~~~~~~~~

“y/n” she heard in a soft voice from behind her. she turned around to see Peter admiring her as quests danced around him. He wore a fine red shirt with 

 gold detailing that matched the brilliant crown atop his head. y/n unfortunately could not seem to take her eyes away from it. better than have to meet his eyes she thought. “i am very pleased to see you again.” he stepped toward her. she dipped quickly into a curtesy, though smaller than the ones she had performed previously in his presence. 

“Hello… King Peter,” she said not knowing why she decided to test out the slightly less formal title. 

“You look… lovely,” he said, “Would you care to dance.” She nodded and hesitantly connected hands with him. Peter was quite surprised by her appearance tonight. While he remembered the girl in the soft champagne gown, she stood before him now in a dark burgundy. Layers of fine silk fell down like spilled wine and he couldn’t help but think how elegant she looked, how powerful. He was amazed how in only two meetings she could look so differently beautiful. He wondered about all the other ways she had been beautiful before and the many way she’s would no doubt be beautiful again. he wondered if he  would be lucky enough to see them. In truth she did feel beautiful in this gown. It was gifted by the palace as every maiden was instructed to wear red so as to be easily found throughout the ball by the high king. A smaller ballroom than the one currently holding the festivities had been filled with red dresses earlier that day. Her sister had chosen a bright crimson and others had chosen lighter reds or more orange tones. Red had never been a color y/n reached for but this shade had a cozy quality to it; it reminded her of christmas. so it had been the one she had chosen. weirdly she was happy that peter liked it. although she wouldn’t rather not know his feelings about it at all as she would rather not be dancing with him at the moment. he made her nervous and besides that the only other thing she could focus on was how angry her sister would be if she saw them. 

“I hope your journey to Cair Paravel went smoothly,” he said, breaking her from her thoughts. She looked at him a moment.

“Oh… yes.”

“And I hope your accommodations are to your liking?”

“Yes.” She added a small, uncomfortable smile with that response. 

“I do wish you would talk to me.”

“We are talking.” He sighed and stopped their dance. He did not however separate from her. 

“Please… what is it?”

“I should not be here,” she pleaded. 

“But you are. I implore you to at least try and enjoy it if you must.” She closed her eyes briefly and let her hands drop from his form. She could not help but notice how his hand stayed on her waist. Peter however was completely oblivious to his own behavior which bordered on inappropriate.

“It is presumptuous to think that I could enjoy myself doing anything other than sampling each and every thing tour chefs have prepared for tonight’s ball.” He chuckled lightly at this. It was half hearted but it was her, fear beginning to leave her. 

“Yes how silly of me. I would offer to escort you but I must request we complete at least one full dance before I do that. Does that sound okay?” She reconnected their hands and smiled up at him, tiredly. 

“I suppose that sounds alright,” she said causing him to grin widely as he stepped back into the large formation of dancing couples. 

“Truthfully,” he began, “how has everything been? Is your family settled in?”

“Truthfully,” she repeated, “everything has been lovely. I’ve never seen a more beautiful place in all my life.”

“Well I am glad,” he said. 

“I must say… I really am grateful to be here. Please do not mistake my personal matters as an indication of any less. Simply spending one day here could last me a lifetime,” she said. And she said it with such conviction that for a moment all Peter could do was stare at her in awe. He thought back to his first time in the palace and how he thought he could stay there forever and never take in every detail. He honestly still thought so sometimes. But here was this incredible woman who would be content for the rest of her life having only spent a day in this place he was lucky enough to call his home. He was glad she would get to spend more than one day here, for both their sakes. 

“I—- I am very glad you like it here.”

“I have had trouble finding my way around.” They laughed. 

“It is quite difficult isn’t it. I do remember it took me longer than I’d like to admit.”

“When did you first arrive here? At… the palace I mean?” He stopped to think for a moment. 

“It has been almost ten years I think. I cannot believe it has been that long.” 

“Wow.” She contemplated this. 

“And what about you? Have you always live where you live now?”

“Yes!— Well no but—- My family has lived elsewhere, as did I. But I was very young, but a baby and I do not remember. Our current home is the only place I’ve ever known.”

“And do remind me where home is for you?”

“(town)… um how are you feeling about escorting me to retrieve some refreshments?” He paused slightly at her rather abrupt shift. 

“I would be delighted to escort you.” he smiled, grabbing her hand to lead her over to the table. 

[hellhound5925]

HERE IT IS 🙌🏻 THE MOMENT LONG AWAITED

Cyare Verd

*OC Raven x Hunter

A/N: Welcome back! I apologize for taking so long but ☝🏼 I edited my original story up to the fourth chapter only to decide I still didn’t like it so guess what I edited the same four chapters again 😅

I’ll start by saying, yes it still follows the season two storyline of The Bad Batch (unoriginal I know) but I did change it up quite a bit. If your looking for Omega (lol) shes gone 👋🏼 I was never a huge fan of her so I wrote her out 🫣 otherwise, I hope you enjoy the new version of my fic. I will be taking it off Wattpad and AO3 in the meantime so I can finish making edits.

Oh, one last thing. If you would like to be tagged please drop a comment or send me a message ☺️ Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time out of your day to read this. It means the world to me.

Anyways. Without further ado 🤲🏻 I present to you my updated fic 💖

Prologue/Background

Raven (If you see this. It’s the Pov for the following)

​Before order 66 went down, I spent my time on Kamino training new batches of clones for the Grand Army of the Republic. I met many of the troopers who lived there during the time including Sargent Hunter of the infamous Clone Force 99. Our interactions were usually quite brief but there was a certain charm about him I enjoyed from our very first encounter. However, I was there to perform my duty to my clan and that always came first.

​It was an honor to continue the legacy my father - Kal Skirata - left behind. He and my brothers - the Null ARC’s - have been off trying to thwart a plot they didn’t realize would lead to order 66.

​During that time, Kal’Buir had asked that I stay on Kamino not only for intel but also to get out any defecting troopers.

A friend of mine, who is another Mandalorian by the name of Aspen, posed as a supply ship for myself. She would drop off supplies or bring me an array of random items I asked for to validate her being there. Aspen would then smuggle troopers to Mandalore where they were to live out their days as they wished. A part of our clan. Clan Skirata.

When order 66 did finally happen, my brother Ordo had warned me to prepare for something big that would be happening soon. Whether or not he knew exactly what I’ll never know.

For the first few days, I lingered on Kamino waiting for any one of my brothers or Kal’Buir to contact me but it didn’t come. About a week later a droid appeared in my quarters with a message. ‘Get out now. You’re in danger Sen’ika (little bird).’ Kal’Buir was the only one who ever called me Sen’ika - mostly because I hated it but he could get away with anything.

Shortly thereafter, I packed my things discreetly and called for Aspen. She came within a rotation claiming the usual - that she was here to deliver supplies for me - and to my surprise they let her in.

The minute I was on her ship, the two of us left. We ended up on the planet in the mid rim. Where Ord Mantell became our temporary home.

Chapter One: Cid’s Parlor

Raven

Standing out in the busy streets of Ord Mantell, the sun beats down on my beskar fighting the darkness that rests on my shoulders. I will my feet to move it’s as if this weight is too much for them to carry.

My irritation radiates off me as the thunderous pitter patter pounds in my head each time a citizen passes by - must be nice to live so carefree - I think to myself. Yet they pay me no mind, even though the very nature of my armor is intimidating.

The dull black shein of a well-worn helmet that sits upon my head, with the infamous T shaped visor. The rest of the plates are the same color with a few iridescent feathers poking out from underneath. Ironic right.

This armor is my pride and joy. It was a coming of age gift - if that's what you want to call it - from my father. Kal’Buir was by far one of the greatest Mandalorians in the history of our people - though my opinion might be biased.

A wave of sadness washes over me at the thought of him, my family, my brothers, and my best friend Aspen. Shaking the thoughts from my mind I tell myself they wouldn’t want me to sulk. Aspen would smack me if she were here. Unfortunately, the two of us had to go our separate ways after getting into some trouble. What else is new?

Aspen has always been the friend I can count on for anything. We met as kids on Mandalore and practically grew up together. Once we were old enough, the two of us would drink - a little too much - and run our mouths. Sometimes I’d come home with a black eye and Kal’Buir would say ‘I hope the other guy looks worse’. With a osik (shit) eating grin he knew I could handle myself.

Eventually that trouble caught up to us. When I had been on Ord Mantell before, she and I got into it with a group of merc’s and Cid saved our skin. Usually I didn’t pick fights we couldn’t win but that time I did.

That was just after our home was bombed by the Empire. My family. My clan was there as far as I know. Rumor has it the surface is no longer safe. The blast destroyed everything and killed everyone. Grief does funny things to people.

Since then Cid feels we owe her every time she calls. Aspen was smart enough to ignore her but I can’t leave business unfinished. I don’t like owing people anything.

Bitterness courses through my veins and I find my feet moving through the doorway.

Hunter

Cid's Parlor is loud and crowded - as usual. Which for enhanced senses is why I prefer the solitude of the ship. Let’s not even get into the stench of hot bodies and alcohol might put me over the edge.

I take a deep breath to steady myself and push out the overwhelming sounds and smells, in an attempt to tune back into my brother's conversation. Echo and I were discussing whether or not the Marauder needs maintenance. Which is true it does. However, we don’t have the credits.

One glance over at Wrecker and its obvious Tech is beating him - again - at dejarik.

With a sigh and a gentle swirl of the pint in my hand, I watch as the amber liquid spins like a world pool. The sickly-sweet smell of blood orange and yeast reaches my nose. I let myself get lost in it for a moment, the scent totally washing over me.

The weight of the things we have had to endure begins creeping in. My men. Their safety and well-being are my responsibility. Crosshair.

Before I’m sucked too far into the void, my senses pick up something that wasn’t there a moment ago. Dark, sweet raspberry, rose. I’d recognize that scent anywhere after the hours I’d spent committing it to memory.

Lifting my gaze from my glass, it’s pulled like a force of gravity as a Mandalorian female enters the parlor. A warmth washes over me mixed with a little relief at seeing that all too familiar T-visor. I can’t contain the shock that creeps on my face at her presence or the memory—

‘Alright everyone, today we go over the basics.’ Her voice is crisp but not cold, giving orders and yet…silky smooth. I could listen to her speak to the regs all day.

She continues barking out orders which I recognize as the basics for hand-to-hand combat. I stop listening about half way through just to commit her to memory.

Covered head to toe in dark black beskar, her visor drifts over the group of men before her. The small frame is quite a contrast to the 6ft Clone troopers in formation. She has such a commanding presence, exuding confidence. My eyes roam over her curves and stop at the dual westar -35’s attached to either side of her thighs. For a moment I swear my heart might leap out of my chest—

Raven Skirata.

My trousers suddenly become constricting forcing me to shift uncomfortably. We only ever ran into one another a few times on Kamino. Mostly casual conversation about war efforts. The sound of her laugh when I told her about some of the things we’d improvised on missions, is one my brain never lets me forget. I never did get the courage to ask her about herself.

Raven crosses over to the bar and my eyes follow her every move. It’s only now that I notice she’s skinnier than I remember. Her complexion is quite pale in comparison to the dark circles under her eyes. The sight causes my chest to tighten. What the hell happened?

"Long time no see. I was starting to think you wised up" the Twi-lek bartender says by way of greeting. There's a long pause as the Raven drops her shoulders considerably.

"Unfortunately, I'm a little low on rations to be wise" she shoots back, that silky smooth voice taking on a sarcastic tone.

Having caught the attention of a rather large man - whose been talking loud enough for everyone in here to hear - he leans over to speak to her.

"Wow, that must be real beskar.......Wonder what kind of price someone would pay for th-that...." He slurs a little at the end.

In one smooth motion, Raven ejects her vibro-blade from her vambrace - the steel practically sings - slamming his head into the bar top with the other hand. A loud thud follows. Some of the patrons stop talking to stare while the Twi-lek laughs.

Pressing her blade to his throat she leans in close she sneers, "Try to take it from me and I'll find out how much someone will pay for your head.”

The man proceeds to mumble and she cocks her head at the bar tender as if in annoyance. Letting go of the man he slumps to his knees before getting up and stumbling away, hand pressed to his temple.

I have to work had to suppress the smile that threatens to creep onto my face, the corner of my mouth twitches anyways.

"Don't mess with Mandalorians" Echo chuckles, drawing attention. Raven glances our way tensing. Mentally I command myself to look away but I can’t. For a moment I swear, even through her visor we make eye contact.

Raven

After I’m satisfied I’ve put this man in his place, I let go and he slumps to the floor. Comments fly from over my shoulder but there’s that voice I’ve heard thousands of times that stands out.

I can’t help but turn and that when I see them. The red and white plastoid. Thanking my ancestors for the helmet, I roll my eyes at just how ironic it is they are here. Sargent Hunter and the Bad Batch. He and I have spoken a few times on Kamino but the others I’ve never officially met.

Frozen in place, I stare for a second. The Sargent doesn’t take his eyes off me with an unreadable expression. If I’m lucky he won’t recognize me - I think to myself. Forcing myself to move, I turn back to the bartender with a finger in the air, signaling I’d like a shot.

My gloved hands make their way to my helmet and gently slide it off, letting my messy blonde braid at the back of my head fall. Lately I find myself caring less and less about what I look like.

Placing my helmet on the bar top, I take a breath to steady myself before taking the shot. The burning liquid a welcomed punishment if nothing else.

The bartender nods over my shoulder and I sign knowing what's coming.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes" Cid says, throwing an arm over me like we are old pals.

I roll my hazel eyes "I'm not here because I want to be. Lets get on with it" I grumble.

"No 'Hi Cid, how are you?'" She asks.

"Nar'sheb (shove it)" I say in my native tongue with a polite smile on my face. She has no idea what I said to her but there's a snicker from someone close by.

————

"Remember what happened last time you threw your attitude around like that? " Cid scolds me as we enter her office.

Picking dust off my flight suit I sass, "I'm not here to discuss my 'attitude'. What's the mission?"

Cid moves behind her desk and crosses her arms "Fine, I need you to help out a group of fine gentlemen." She starts to explain, her tone a little too...chipper.

I raise a brow, shifting my weight and hum my dissatisfaction.

Cid immediately gets defensive, “Look it’s not my fault you mandos like to find trouble. You’re just lucky I was there to bail you out. Besides, these guys could really use someone with your skills. Dooku's private stash is being relocated by the Empire and I want you to help them get as much as possible".

The fact that she said Empire had my attention and attitude immediately shifts.

"I thought you might like that and I promise I'll give you 20%" she continues noticing my mood lighten.

"30 and it's a deal" I counter.

"Hey! I gotta pay those other guys too. I feel I'm being quite generous.”

I guess for considering who I’m speaking with… "Fine 20%, Now who are these guys?"

"They call themselves the Bad Batch. Wait here I'll go get them" she doesn’t give me a chance to respond before she heads out the door.

For a moment I stay where she left me and contemplate my next move. I can either play it like I don’t know them and take the chance their Sargent will recognize me or…

With an annoyed sigh, I stride over to her desk and set my helmet down before scanning the book shelves. Most of these I’ve read during my ‘spare time’ when Cid let me crash here before. Not surprisingly, there’s nothing new.

Leaning my back against one I take my gloves off and unbraid my hair. The blonde waves fall loosely over one shoulder ending just below my breast. It’s a wonder I ever let it get this long but a part of me just can’t bring myself to cut it.

I make myself comfortable at her desk, leaning back and kicking my boots up on it, When Cid flings the door open and scowls at me. My stomach ties itself into knots but I try to seem disinterested by playing with my hair.

There’s a chance these guys decided like the others to side with the Empire. But the odds they did and they are here? Slim but not zero.

Pushing off the desk I stand and stroll around to the front, leaning against it. A few golden strands fall into my face with the movement. My hands naturally side down towards my blasters holstered at my sides. A defense position that’s become muscle memory. The Sargent eyes follow my every move.

"Take it easy there Mando these are the good guys."

Cid rolls her eyes after seeing my body language. Once again in typical Cid fashion she hid this from me, likely knowing I wouldn’t come.

The largest one of the 4 pushes past.

"I'm Wrecker! I like to blow stuff up!" He says very loudly, sticking out his hand. My body is further tensing.

I hesitantly shake his hand, which compared to mine - even with gloves on - looks like it could easily crush it.

"Wrecker, I feel that last part was not necessary" says the one holding a datapad.

"I am Tech by the way.”

Nodding by way of greeting, I quickly glance over at their Sargent. Had I blinked I would have missed the split second of recognition before the mask of a leader slid into place.

The one with a socket arm glances over at him. Probably from the tension radiating off of me. Those amber eyes see me for exactly who I am.

My breathing picks up, but I quickly get it back under control. The former doesn’t seem to notice, not taking his eyes off me.

I decide to meet his gaze with a challenging one. Hoping to hide whatever it is he sees.

Shaking his head like he’s having a difficult time dragging himself from thought, introduces himself.

“I'm their Sargent-well was their Sargent...Hunter and this is Echo" he gestures to socket arm.

Echo waves at me with his socket and a soft smile. I nod slowly and clear my throat.

“I know who you are.”

Tech lifts his eyes from his datapad to look at me once again. Before he or anyone else can I say anything I continue,

“Raven. Raven Skirata.”

————

When I start towards my ship - alright so it's not really my ship, I stole it - I was so deep in thought I almost didn’t hear someone call out to me.

"Wouldn't it just be easier if we all went together?"

I stop not bothering to turn around "How do I know you won't leave me behind?"

If these are the clones I’ve heard so much about, there’s a good chance I can trust them. However, my instincts are telling me not to. Echo, almost like he is reading my mind says,

"You can trust us, we aren't like the others".

The sorrow in his voice fills the space between us, making me uncomfortable. I roll my shoulders, hands flexing at my sides.

Without saying anything I head up the ramp to my ship, gather a few things in my pack, and come back out to see Echo standing where I left him. The rest of the group must have gone to their ship. With a small nod he leads the way.

As we approach, I stop for a moment before heading up the ramp to admire the hull before me. An Omicron class attack shuttle but it’s been modified. It’s just as impressive if not more so in person. My brothers - specifically Mereel and Jaing - would have loved this thing, I can practically hear them fighting with even Ordo for who would pilot.

With a few steps up the ramp, I peer inside and it’s notably clean. Briefly I take in the surroundings noting the others up front in the cockpit area. Echo glances back at me sensing my hesitation.

“I’ll show you around”

I tip my visor towards him appreciatively, without saying a word.

————

Echo finishes the tour with the bunks, two on the left and two on the right. He gestures to the right, showing me which one is mine and offers me a gentle smile. With a quick glance I realize there are only 4 of them.

“Hunter usually stays up in the cockpit. You get his bunk.”

Great.

I nod my appreciation again and take my pack off my shoulder. The only things in it are a couple changes of regular clothes and some rations. I've not got much to lose that isn't my beskar these days.

Placing my pack on the lower bunk, the mythosaur skull on the back of my gloves stare back at me with hollow eyes. It’s almost like they know. Our people are gone. For a moment I wonder if anyone will even remember what it means.

I forgot Echo was still standing there until his throat clears. He says carefully, “Your father is Kal Skirata.”

My heart starts to thunder in my chest at the mention of his name. I finish settling my pack before I turn to face him. A part of me wants to answer but it feels like my mouth is full of cotton. I mentally thank my ancestors for the visor between us.

“He was one of my instructors. In my early days I mean. He was always really good to us. I heard about what he did...he got some of us out.”

Silence fills the space. I slide my helmet off, tucking it under an arm. Unable to look him in the eye, my boots seemingly interesting all the sudden.

“He’s gone.” My voice almost doesn’t sound like my own. Distant.

“Too many good people have been lost because of the war. I’m sorry to hear that.”

In his kind words, the galaxy feels a little less lonely. I finally lift my head and meet his gaze, seeing the loss there.

“I’m sorry for your loss too.”

Echo only offers me a somber smile in response. My walls go back up and I decide to change the subject. It comes out a little sassier than I had intended.

“So, you all have enhanced something or other right? I mean I was on Kamino and spoke to your Sargent a few times but mostly what I know is what I’ve heard.”

”Each of us had a unique quality. Wrecker is brute strength, Hunter has enhanced senses, and Tech is really smart.”

”Wasn’t there another member? Crosshair?”

Another sad look from him, “He chose the Empire.”

“Ah” I nod my understanding. “How do you fit in here?”

He rubs the back of his neck and chuckles.

“I was originally with the 501st under General Skywalker. We were on Skako minor and I was blown up. Captured by the Techno union and they made me mostly a machine.” Echo lifts his socket arm as a reference.

“My Captain. Rex. He and the Bad Batch rescued me. I owe them everything.”

That name. Captain Rex. It sounds familiar. ”No offense but you just met me and you trust me enough to tell me all this?” My sass once more evident.

He smiles and says “Your father spoke highly of you.”

My throat closes up at the same time pride washes over me. When I don’t respond he continues.

“I’ll leave you to get settled in” and with that he turns and heads toward the cockpit.

I watch as he reaches the others and takes a seat. Unable to do anything else other than process what he just said.

————

It takes me a while to recover from the conversation. A part of me hesitates to comm Aspen but I can’t risk compromising her.

Instead, I take my time to check my weapons (two blasters at my hip, vibro blade in my vambrace, and the various blades stashed in my boots and under my back plate). No one bothers to check on me, which is just as well. Finally, I end with checking the HUD in my helmet - which seems to be functioning fine.

Discarding my helmet on the bunk, I head for the cockpit where the others are chatting quietly. The hushed tones likely to prevent me from overhearing. Hunter stiffens as I approach which only confirms my thought.

The four seats at the front were taken up by each of the members. Leaning against the doorway I cross my arms over my chest plate.

"We don't have a reason to trust each other but once this mission is over and I'm paid, I'm gone. You won't have to worry after that.” The annoyance plastered on my face is visible to all.

They all glance at one another except Hunter, his eyes fixed on my face like he’s trying not to look anywhere else. He almost looks hurt at my comment.

"That seems reasonable" Tech says very matter of factly.

”Great. So, what's the plan?”

“Get to Serenno and scout the area." Hunter says turning his attention to space zooming by at light speed.

I sigh, "That's not much of a plan but I can improvise."

Wrecker chimes in, ”Ahaha you’ll fit right in!” Awkward silence fills the space before I break it.

“Right. Well I guess we should all rest up so let me know when we land.” Spinning on a heel, I head for the bunks.

Next Chapter here.

Wattpad link here.

Taglist: @cloneloverrrrr @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @idoubleswearimawriter @savebytheodore @savebytheodoresnonjosestuff @jediknightjana @techs-goggles9902 @clonethirstingisreal

Lemme know if you wanna be tagged in the future!

[voxofthevoid]

Hello! We haven't really interacted before but I reviewed a Bleach fanfiction of yours a while ago, and I've loved your stories for the fandom! I'm sad that you no longer write for Bleach, but you've shared some amazing work, so thank you for that.

Just wanted to ask if you have any tips on how to connect more with other readers and writers, as it seems your conversations with other people in your fandoms bring a lot of joy and inspiration! While I wrote fanfiction in my teenage years, I felt very much like a fandom hermit back then but I'm coming back to it now many years later and want to actively engage with more people. I've joined some discord servers and am posting much more to twitter and tumblr, but I'm still pretty shy about messaging people privately as I feel like I don't really know what to say. I know it will take time, but any advice on how to get the ball rolling would be much appreciated.

Good luck with the writing!

Hi! I'm very glad you like my Bleach fics, and hey, being missed isn't a bad thing either ❤

(I do have one 80%–finished grimmichi fic that I'll put up on Ao3 soon-ish. The last chapter won't ever be written, but there's still some 28k of fluff and porn that ends on a fairly conclusive note on the emotional end.)

You're right that interacting with my fellow fans is a large part of what makes fandom fun for me. The community aspect of fandom is something that comes up a lot in conversations about why people flock to fandom, why they stay, and why they leave, and although I'm an introvert bordering on a hermit, the social aspects of fandom are its greatest draw. I write because I need to or I'll burst, but I share for the people here with me. That's not an uncommon attitude or experience. YMMV, but many of us want to connect with people who share our interests, and the level of creativity and commitment fandom inspires often thrives in collaboration and community.

How to get that sense of community is a trickier matter though. You're already in Discord servers, which seems to be the main fandom social space(s) these days. You're also on social media platforms where people can reach out to you or vice versa. So that's the basics covered. After that, it's largely a matter of organically developing relationships. But I do understand the hesitance to just roll up into someone's DMs; even though I have no issues with people popping up in my DMs, I also find it harder to initiate.

Plus, I've found that some sort of existing rapport gives you a better foundation when you do take the step into private exchanges. This can be Ao3 comment sections, Tumblr notes, or Discord group chat spaces. I tend to avoid Discord servers these days, but back when I had more tolerance for group chats, the people I met there often became closer friends. Mostly though, my pocket friends are people I met via Ao3 and, less frequently, Tumblr—fellow authors and readers in a specific fandom.

I know my regulars, here and on Ao3, and I've been a regular many times. Discussions in comments usually start out limited to the specific fic, but they can also include general fandom/canon stuff or even personal talk. Many times, you build a degree of familiarity with a person that way, and if the conversation moves to more private channels, you already have a shared base to build further conversation on.

So my best advice to find friends and like-minded fandom folks is to be active in Ao3 comments and Tumblr notes (...and whatever the corresponding thing is over on Xitter):

Reply to the comments on your stories and try to really engage with what your readers are saying. This is very much a personal preference, but the reason I try to reply with more than a generic "thanks" for longer, more in-depth comments is that, like I said above, nerding out with fellow fans is a huge part of why I love fandom. If people are already expressing interest in your story and you have a shared interest in canon, there's a lot of room there for fun conversations, even if they never go beyond one-off exchanges.

Comment on stories you like, and if you find specific authors you really love, let them know without reservations what you like about their takes and why you like them. One of my favorite commenting methods when I'm well and truly in love with something is to read everything once, then reread and leave longass comments on every chapter/fic. It's time-intensive, but I've never seen the effort go unappreciated. I've also been on the receiving end of this many times, and that's how several of my fandom friendships were born; one of my closest friends is someone I virtually kidnapped because I loved their tags on my JJK fic posts so much.

The above habits can be applied to Tumblr/Twitter too. Plus, there are plenty of people on such sites who engage deeply with fandom outside of fic writing. Be loud and proud about what you love. Sending a DM is an intimidating step, and not everyone will be receptive anyway, but most people welcome encouragement and appreciation. There are a lot of people I'm friendly with and fond of whom I've never interacted with directly, only via Tumble notes or asks.

I think all of this narrows down to being pretty generous when it comes to expressing your love for fandom and fellow fans. Won't always work out for various reasons, but as long as you're having fun, it's not wasted effort or time.

[amethystina]

i hope youre doing well 💗i will always support you, regarding your recent post whtd helped me through probably the most trying time of my life and was one of the only things that bought me happiness at one point so im really grateful for you writing it and bringing it to life :) thank you so much. I’ve been rewatching tdj and in ep1, theres a schene where yohan is comforting a victim; he yawns and then his eyes start watering. I was wondering, do you think it was for show like gaon did, and he yawned to stimulate tears, or do you think it was genuine as he won the first case, making him a step closer to avenging isaac and isaacs look alike was standing there the whole time?

Id love to heard your insight and im so excited for chapter 42 thank uu ^^

I'm so glad that I could bring you happiness and help you through a difficult time 💜 I never set out to do that with Who Holds the Devil but, from what I've heard, it's become a source of joy and stability for a lot of people. Which is honestly amazing.

And, knowing that, I'm so happy that I started posting it when I did. Usually, I will try to finish a fanfic before I post it but Who Holds the Devil became one of the exceptions because I was afraid that if I didn't start posting, I would never do it (because I was so scared of fucking up) or, alternatively, never finish it. And it's kind of dizzying to think what would have happened (or hadn't happened, I guess?) if I hadn't done that.

So yeah. One of the best choices I've made, clearly, considering where it took us all xD

As for your question, I think that it's all fake on Yo Han's part. It's true that it's the first trial towards avenging Isaac, but even if that's big, I don't think it would be enough to make Yo Han genuinely cry? Not to mention that there are still so many steps left and he's probably already focused on the next one.

To me, it looks like Yo Han was faking compassion towards the crying woman. As she's telling her story, they make a lot of eye contact so it makes sense that Yo Han would go: "A normal person would cry now" and start faking his eyes getting watery. Because they're already shiny from tears before he embraces her. And then, as he's hugging her, he yawns — because he's not actually that invested — and a tear just happens to fall.

So, in some ways, I guess the tear itself wasn't planned and just more of a side effect of him trying to appear compassionate towards one of the people he's trying to trick? He needs to sell himself as the people's judge so, naturally, he needs to be seen caring for them. But the moment the woman wasn't looking at him anymore, he yawns. The tears he faked remain, though, and, eventually, they'll spill over like tears tend to do.

And then Yo Han realises that Ga On is watching and, because Yo Han is an asshole, he looks all smug and challenging. So the initial show was for the woman but Yo Han seized the opportunity to unnerve Ga On, too, for... idk, shits and giggles? xD

That's what I think! :D

And chapter 42 is up now! I hope you enjoy it 💜

[ninacytosis]

For the time lost

Summary: Zuko wants to erase every reminder of his past mistakes, and Katara will take him on a journey to, quite literally, heal both of their scarrings.

Contains: Angst, Fluff, Katara has burns scars from Aang's first attempts to firebend, Katara tries to get over her resentment towards the FN, Zuko doesn't hate Azula.

Dear reader: I hope you enjoy it! <3 Let me know if you want me to continue posting.

Find chapter two here.

Also if you prefer reading in ao3 here's the link.

┊┊┊┊☆┊*🌙*┊☆┊┊┊┊

Chapter One

“Dear Zuko:

I hope this letter finds you well. Since you didn’t respond to my messages from the previous weeks, I couldn’t help but do a little investigation on my own. Aang told me he last visited the Fire Nation a couple of days ago, and to his surprise, you weren’t there. Honestly, this got me even more curious. What are you up to, Fire Lord? What juicy secret are you keeping from us?

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that my dad made some octo-fish soup this weekend. I bet you have never tried it, well, maybe on your finding-the-avatar days you stopped by and tried. But that doesn’t seem like you. One day Sokka and I will cook you some, but only if you tell me why you’re being so distant lately!

We’re always here for you, Zuko.

Hugs,

Katara”

Zuko read the letter while waiting for the water to boil. He had never heard of octo-fish soup to this day, but he wasn’t opposed to trying new dishes. In fact, most of his favorite dishes weren’t even from the Fire Nation. After trying the Omashu noodles, who could blame him?

 “Dear Katara,

I hope you enjoyed that soup and the company of your family. Knowing that you spend good quality time with your family brings me so much joy and relief because all of you deserve it. I hope that every good memory makes up for every bad one, though unfortunately, healing doesn’t work like an exchange, does it?

As the Fire Lord, certain duties demand my presence in the other nations. So, as much as I wish my lack of responses were due to a secret vacation of mine, they are more like business trips. Might as well call me the Fire Businessman now. (Don’t let anyone read this to Toph because she most certainly will call me that.)

It was nice hearing from you. Send as many letters as you please. Even if I’m not home, I’ll promise I’ll read them. By the way, how are your little waterbenders doing? I’m sure it was harder to handle Aang, you know, back in our teaching-the-Avatar days.

Best,

Zuko”

He sat down and frowned at the piece of paper. It’s not that he wanted to hide things from her, or his friends. But it was almost embarrassing to write and send a letter describing his last weeks. It was a path of emotions he was unready to walk through. She would probably forget it in a couple of weeks anyway, and then he would be able to tell her everything.

“Dear Zuko,

Or should I say, Dear Fire Liar?

Even though I don’t have a lot of time in my hands, I still managed to get some information about your mysterious “business” trips. Sokka’s been of great help, for once, and a little bird told him that people from the Northern Water Tribe have spotted you in very weird places. But being honest, I still don’t know what is it that you’re hiding so hard. You got yourself an Ice Lady?

On another note, it’s very exciting to see both of the Nations exchanging goods and, you know, not trying to slit each other’s throats. I always wanted the war to end of course, but it was very hard to imagine a future so full of prosperity. It’s hard to grasp sometimes.

I hope I’m not getting overly emotional but it makes me think about my mom a lot. She never lived in a world without war in it, isn’t that fucked up? Some days I feel a strange guilt running through my body because I get to move on and she will always stay there. This seems like I’m getting all over the place. I don’t usually say this stuff to anybody, but I know you would get it. And today seems like a good day for letting it all out.

When I’m down, I like to think that she sees the world through the eyes of Sokka, or dad’s, or even mine. It’s silly, I know. But it makes me feel closer to her.

Well, enough about me. Tell me more about your trips, about your uncle’s new place. I’m dying to know. Maybe next time you should try doing business in the Southern Water Tribe and pay us a visit. We all miss you!

Hugs,

Katara”

Zuko took a long breath. No amount of tea would cure the unmeasurable shame that he felt reading Katara’s letter. He knew how empathetic she was, and how much he loved her family, and he could never forgive himself for what his family did to the world. Every day he looked at himself in the mirror and was reminded of a past he could never erase, his face became no longer his once his dad put his palm on it.

His sudden state made him forget about Katara’s little quest. He was not only full of shame but also full of passion to help others. Every reminiscent of the war also reminded him of the resilience of people during difficult times. And every time Katara changed the subject, Zuko needed to excruciatingly tell her how much her strength motivated him to be better. And after writing that letter, he decided it was time to invite her to the palace.