#its a BITCH

[gophergal]

I've learned my lesson. The cast iron skillet is not where carbs belongs

[whereianonymouslypostfics]

Sorry for spamming y’all, but a lot is happening rn

[nightoftime]

if i could fly i think id just use it to float subtly above the ground

not to make myself taller or anything just so i dont have to put weight on my body ever. itd fix me for sure

[letthehatersbark]

The funniest one star review of Wicked I've seen so far

[greedshysteria]

It might take longer than I thought, actually, to get that chapter out 😭

[1000fingers]

Bitches will find a fictional man attractive and then immediately imagine him in situations where he is losing alarming amounts of blood

[ace-does-stuff]

ten song limit beloved and beloathed

[wrestleauspol]

its women, the powers that be expect the women to be at the house at all times looking after the cum trophies

its so fucking funny how the normal workday is 9-5 so like

if you need anyone to do work at your house e.g. a plumber

oops the time they want to come in is also the time you're at work

there are a bunch of minor ways that society is designed around the assumption there will be someone at your house to answer the door at all times of the day

[euniexenoblade]

Honestly, it can stand as it's own post. The tobacco industry is evil they want to get you smoking yadda yadda you've heard it a million times and like. I think we hear it so much but that a lot of the younger generations in the us dont really get why there's such an aggressive anti smoking campaign, I think people buy into the narrative South Park has spun about it "the cigarette companies are all upfront about it and people still chose their service and everyone against smoking are just obsessive fascists" and it's like. Genuinely, the cigarette companies are some of the most evil entities this world has ever seen. From knowing cigarettes caused cancer before anyone else and lying about it, to being the reason the majority of 50s television existed (shows like I Love Lucy existed to sell you cigarettes) to specifically making flavors of cigarettes and cartoon mascots to sell to kids. And I'm not saying that if you smoke cigarettes you're bad but I do really want the tobacco industry abolished and have it's wealth distributed to the society it controlled for so fucking long.

Seriously, go read about it. They did shit that manipulated the country, politics, and the lives of your parents and their parents, and likely their influence is affecting your life in this day and age still.

[anchusa-azurea]

GRRRERRDWT LET ME DRAW UGHH

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:

michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club

*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***

that's it that's the movie

outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative

actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.

aka Michael Myers Is A Republican

but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too

also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain

side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty

i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978

(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)

oh no he's hot

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

[caramelldansenu]

[spacepaprika]

All electronic devices should have a migraine mode send tweet

[philtstone]

feel like psych deserves more credit for manifesting guest stars from almost every single property it referenced. i know plenty of shows have pop culture relevant guest stars but none of them make references that are so very specific and none of them get 99% of their references to actually show up. like psych will throw out a name exclusively for the bit and then an unpredictable number of episodes/seasons later that person will literally show up as murderer/victim/random extended family member of the week with no comment. george takei. william shatner. cybill shepherd from moonlighting. almost every single actor from the breakfast club (one of them recurring!). biff and doc brown from back to the future. dr frankenfurter himself. literally carey elwes. john cena??? john rhys davies. half the cast of twin peaks. the original "come on son" guy. alan ruck. michael rooker. both leads from she's all that. winston from ghostbusters. bud's mom from the cosby show. curt smith from tears for fears (who also sang live with them at an event, like, twice). they mentioned billy zane and val kilmer so many times per season that through sheer willpower they got billy zane and val kilmer to both show up in their series finale. those guys committed to their bits so hard that they ended their show with one of the most diversified and stacked cameo rosters in tv & thats honestly so funny and iconic of them

[theatrebooknerd56]

Godspeed to college kids who have finals coming up

Don't die

And dont fail