#its MANY THINGS . and there are games that are SPECIFICALLY ABOUT ROMANCE BUT NOT ALL OF THEM ARE!!!

[shioaoi]

Rundown of the more interesting parts from the Necrits live stream with Christian Linke (Creative Director and Co-Creator of Arcane) :

There was a longer version of the Caitvi sex scene but they got bonked by the ratings people, and because it would have raised Leagues rating to mature, it got brought down to what we got.

The entire Caitvi sex scene was directed and animated by Fortiche with zero input by Riot. Christian says, "That was French people being French."

Riot making Arcane canon didn't change where they were taking characters or the story, it just made them more aware of how it would affect other Riot projects.

Christian refused to confirm exactly when the events of Arcane take place in the existing timeline.

The Arcane doesn't originate from Hextech. It is just one - in universe - interpretation of magic.

Christian doesn't view Viktor and Jayce's love as romantic, and that romance wasn't the intention when writing their relationship. However, by the way he talks, it doesn't seem he's against people shipping them romantically - just as a creative team, they were more interested in exploring a close, complex male friendship / brotherhood.

The 250-million dollar show budget number is not accurate as marketing is included in that fund. Fortiche's goal from the beginning was to bring the level of animation found in feature animated films to serialised content. While the show was very expensive for an animated series, it was way cheaper than an animated feature film because they try and work efficiently. As an example, Christian says how often in Hollywood, it's not uncommon for sometimes 40-50% of what is animated to end up on the cutting room floor while with Fortiche they try and keep it around 5%

Ekko's hair was changed from a mohawk to dreads because the artist who worked on him told them that black hair doesn't work like that (in reference to the mohwak), and here's how it would actually work.

Legends of Runterra affected Arcane in terms of giving the team inspiration for how the everyday street life is for people in the regions.

Caitlyn's LOR Tactical design (2021) and Warwicks VGU Voicelines (2017) were made to reflect what was going to happen in Arcane - production of Arcane just took a long amount of time.

They've said from the beginning that the only person who could ever defeat Viktor at the height of his power was Viktor himself. His story is about the glorious evolution, the pursuit of that, and what it actually means to remove these human elements until there is nothing left.

All projects Riot is working on - whether the MMO, Games, Written or Animated projects - are in talks with one another at all times.

Christian comments on how very few games have remain in service as long as League has, and because of its ever growing and evolving story, it's hard to bring everything together cohesively since everything was made at different times, in different era's, by a multitude of different people. So, while many things may be very cool creatively, it makes it impossible to successfully bring it all together more often than not. So for new projects, they are more focused on making something good and successful with the team and talent they have, even if it retcons or replaces content made in the past.

Christian pitched singing Heimerdinger.

Arcane's scripts for S2 were locked in before S1 was released, so they were not impacted by fandoms or online reactions. Christian thinks maybe some animation choices were influenced by things the animators saw online, but not the story.

When watching the premier of the final arcane episodes in LA - the entire 4000 seat theatre cheered when Maddie died.

The butterfly motif shared between Jayce and Viktor specifically was used to represent transformation.

Christian talked about how they don't think about really whether people will like something or not, but whether it's the right consequence for the story (this is in discussion to Caitlyn losing an eye). What makes a character likeable to an audience in his eyes is their decisions in the story; the choices that they make.

Continuing on from this, he comments on how the choices Caitlyn makes now are so different now compared to the beginning of the show. She is now willing to take risks and sacrifice parts of herself for people, for Piltover and for what is right.

When asked about Caitlyn's signature hat, Christian says that the team saw it as somthing that didn't really fit this version of Caitlyn they were writing and the person she becomes and that's why it was never incorporated into her designs.

Back in the beginning, when they were first working on Arcane, Christian would constantly going back to Jinx and Vi's original design artists & Riot August who was their champion designer to make sure they weren't messing anything up with these characters.

Christian goes on to tell an anecdote of when Paul 'Zeronis' Kwon was drawing the first concepts for Vi. This was back when Christian was in music. She didn't have a name at the time, but when Christian looked over Paul's shoulder at the art, he comments "she kinda looks like a Violet to me." They never spoke about it, but months later, when she became a serious character concept internally, she was gifted the name Vi. To this day, Christian doesn't know if his comment resulted in her name or if it was just a coincidence, but Violet became stuck in Christian's brain as Vi's true name. Riot August (who was in chat) then confirms that her name came from her tattoo, which came from one of her key design elements, being that she had the number 6 on her face. So, just a happy coincidence.

Talking about the tattoo. The tattoo was shrunken in size so, from a distance, it would look more like a beauty mark and the brain can more easily disregard it. One of the many things that they had to think about when translating the designs over as, is animation, you would be looking at a characters face a lot more than you do in league where the camera is situated top down.

As they were wrapping up the stream, Christian talks about how there always needs to be a bit of space between what content creators / content consumers do (pointing at Necrit) and what Riot does. He thinks it's good that there is space for criticism and a critical view of the things Riot does. In order to succeed, he believes they need to listen to their audience but also that they need to have their own vision, take risks, and be bold. It's a delicate balance in his eyes, and projects tend to fail when these two sides are too in cahoots.

He iterates that they are not trying to shove anything down anyone's throats. They are just trying to find what makes these characters cool, tell their stories, and be true to the regions they come from. With taking the characters from League to Arcane, it was important that they translate these stories and characters so they can hold up with the best storytelling in the world.

This circles back to the earlier point about retconning things and replacing past stories and content. He comments on how some characters are very outdated or too archetypal, but they still have an essence that people love about them.

Arcane was something Christian worked on for 9 years, and he was getting clearly emotional near the end. He also adds they're just getting started and he wants to make sure they do a good job with this IP and the characters we really love.

To those who are not happy with certain decisions, he's sorry they didn't hit what you personally wanted, but there is simply no way they can please everybody. While they are trying to make as many of the Riot / Arcane audience happy, they as the creators and artists need to follow their own compass, be the shepherds of this IP; that being creative is hard. They will keep doing that even if they sometimes have to ruffle some feathers.

He closes the stream by confirming that they are investing quite a bit in Noxas, Ionia, and Demacia for the next regions they explore.

[rokon24]

Rundown of the more interesting parts from the Necrits live stream with Christian Linke (Creative Director and Co-Creator of Arcane) :

There was a longer version of the Caitvi sex scene but they got bonked by the ratings people, and because it would have raised Leagues rating to mature, it got brought down to what we got.

The entire Caitvi sex scene was directed and animated by Fortiche with zero input by Riot. Christian says, "That was French people being French."

Riot making Arcane canon didn't change where they were taking characters or the story, it just made them more aware of how it would affect other Riot projects.

Christian refused to confirm exactly when the events of Arcane take place in the existing timeline.

The Arcane doesn't originate from Hextech. It is just one - in universe - interpretation of magic.

Christian doesn't view Viktor and Jayce's love as romantic, and that romance wasn't the intention when writing their relationship. However, by the way he talks, it doesn't seem he's against people shipping them romantically - just as a creative team, they were more interested in exploring a close, complex male friendship / brotherhood.

The 250-million dollar show budget number is not accurate as marketing is included in that fund. Fortiche's goal from the beginning was to bring the level of animation found in feature animated films to serialised content. While the show was very expensive for an animated series, it was way cheaper than an animated feature film because they try and work efficiently. As an example, Christian says how often in Hollywood, it's not uncommon for sometimes 40-50% of what is animated to end up on the cutting room floor while with Fortiche they try and keep it around 5%

Ekko's hair was changed from a mohawk to dreads because the artist who worked on him told them that black hair doesn't work like that (in reference to the mohwak), and here's how it would actually work.

Legends of Runterra affected Arcane in terms of giving the team inspiration for how the everyday street life is for people in the regions.

Caitlyn's LOR Tactical design (2021) and Warwicks VGU Voicelines (2017) were made to reflect what was going to happen in Arcane - production of Arcane just took a long amount of time.

They've said from the beginning that the only person who could ever defeat Viktor at the height of his power was Viktor himself. His story is about the glorious evolution, the pursuit of that, and what it actually means to remove these human elements until there is nothing left.

All projects Riot is working on - whether the MMO, Games, Written or Animated projects - are in talks with one another at all times.

Christian comments on how very few games have remain in service as long as League has, and because of its ever growing and evolving story, it's hard to bring everything together cohesively since everything was made at different times, in different era's, by a multitude of different people. So, while many things may be very cool creatively, it makes it impossible to successfully bring it all together more often than not. So for new projects, they are more focused on making something good and successful with the team and talent they have, even if it retcons or replaces content made in the past.

Christian pitched singing Heimerdinger.

Arcane's scripts for S2 were locked in before S1 was released, so they were not impacted by fandoms or online reactions. Christian thinks maybe some animation choices were influenced by things the animators saw online, but not the story.

When watching the premier of the final arcane episodes in LA - the entire 4000 seat theatre cheered when Maddie died.

The butterfly motif shared between Jayce and Viktor specifically was used to represent transformation.

Christian talked about how they don't think about really whether people will like something or not, but whether it's the right consequence for the story (this is in discussion to Caitlyn losing an eye). What makes a character likeable to an audience in his eyes is their decisions in the story; the choices that they make.

Continuing on from this, he comments on how the choices Caitlyn makes now are so different now compared to the beginning of the show. She is now willing to take risks and sacrifice parts of herself for people, for Piltover and for what is right.

When asked about Caitlyn's signature hat, Christian says that the team saw it as somthing that didn't really fit this version of Caitlyn they were writing and the person she becomes and that's why it was never incorporated into her designs.

Back in the beginning, when they were first working on Arcane, Christian would constantly going back to Jinx and Vi's original design artists & Riot August who was their champion designer to make sure they weren't messing anything up with these characters.

Christian goes on to tell an anecdote of when Paul 'Zeronis' Kwon was drawing the first concepts for Vi. This was back when Christian was in music. She didn't have a name at the time, but when Christian looked over Paul's shoulder at the art, he comments "she kinda looks like a Violet to me." They never spoke about it, but months later, when she became a serious character concept internally, she was gifted the name Vi. To this day, Christian doesn't know if his comment resulted in her name or if it was just a coincidence, but Violet became stuck in Christian's brain as Vi's true name. Riot August (who was in chat) then confirms that her name came from her tattoo, which came from one of her key design elements, being that she had the number 6 on her face. So, just a happy coincidence.

Talking about the tattoo. The tattoo was shrunken in size so, from a distance, it would look more like a beauty mark and the brain can more easily disregard it. One of the many things that they had to think about when translating the designs over as, is animation, you would be looking at a characters face a lot more than you do in league where the camera is situated top down.

As they were wrapping up the stream, Christian talks about how there always needs to be a bit of space between what content creators / content consumers do (pointing at Necrit) and what Riot does. He thinks it's good that there is space for criticism and a critical view of the things Riot does. In order to succeed, he believes they need to listen to their audience but also that they need to have their own vision, take risks, and be bold. It's a delicate balance in his eyes, and projects tend to fail when these two sides are too in cahoots.

He iterates that they are not trying to shove anything down anyone's throats. They are just trying to find what makes these characters cool, tell their stories, and be true to the regions they come from. With taking the characters from League to Arcane, it was important that they translate these stories and characters so they can hold up with the best storytelling in the world.

This circles back to the earlier point about retconning things and replacing past stories and content. He comments on how some characters are very outdated or too archetypal, but they still have an essence that people love about them.

Arcane was something Christian worked on for 9 years, and he was getting clearly emotional near the end. He also adds they're just getting started and he wants to make sure they do a good job with this IP and the characters we really love.

To those who are not happy with certain decisions, he's sorry they didn't hit what you personally wanted, but there is simply no way they can please everybody. While they are trying to make as many of the Riot / Arcane audience happy, they as the creators and artists need to follow their own compass, be the shepherds of this IP; that being creative is hard. They will keep doing that even if they sometimes have to ruffle some feathers.

He closes the stream by confirming that they are investing quite a bit in Noxas, Ionia, and Demacia for the next regions they explore.

Learn More

[gncrezan]

IFs (especially IFs on tumblr!) are very fun because there's a lot of creator-fan interaction possible because of tumblr's ask function. you get to ask questions about your favorites, suggest ideas and sometimes those ideas are even taken on board. fans get much more content because the writers and creators are so accessible. and i feel like asking questions and leaving comments in this way has become so common and standard with IFs that people are forgetting that's a real person writing these stories. just because you can send the ask doesn't mean you should. DON'T BE RUDE ON ANONYMOUS!!!!! DON'T BE WEIRD ON ANONYMOUS!!!!! my jaw drops reading some of these asks so i can't imagine how it's like for the authors

[criminalyun]

cool for the summer | s.jaeyun

pairing: sim jaeyun x fem!reader

summary: having a crush on your brothers best friend for four years was never easy — especially having to deal with not only the strict rule your brother put in place of not dating his friends, but also his best friend being a playboy. what happens when summer arrives and your brother, jay, returns to your families holiday home with not only a new friend, but also his best friend, jake sim, and this time, he’s different.

genre: brothers best friend au, slow burn, forbidden romance, fluff, angst, smut

warnings: minors dni, jake smokes, alcohol, second lead jungwon :(, slight cheating?? (they don’t kiss whilst in a relationship but there’s flirty behavior!!), jake is a bit of a dick icl, dry humping which will is kinda public??, making out, fighting, name calling

word count: 32k

taglist: @cloud-lyy @sussycheetos @eneiyri @jaeyunzlovr @crimnalseung @skzesty @jvjsssnaa @slut4hee @304files @peachyun02 @laurradoesloveu @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @niinjo @heelovesmeknot @kissestoenha @cha0thicpisces @run2min @parksunghoonsgf @moonnssun @nshmrarki @seokseokjinkim @kookify @minniejenseo @capri-cuntz @chaeyunloveeee @brachives @kimsunoops

published: may 6th 2024

Growing up being Jay Park's younger sister was never easy. Having to put up with the constant teasing was something you despised at times when it wasn't funny, being ganged up on by Jay and his friends wasn't ideal, and having to deal with the numerous flings he'd bring home was annoying. You hated having to wear the boys hand-me downs, and absolutely hated having to watch his programs all night when he took over the tv.

Though, there were positives about being his younger sister. He was funny (at times), and you always knew you were well protected when in school. You enjoyed it when he'd allow you to join him in a video game and actually include you in things — and, you especially liked the fact his best friend was Jake Sim.

There was something about the brunette haired boy that made you feel drawn to him. You weren’t sure if it was because of his contagious, gummy smile, or because he would spoil you rotten, or if it was because you knew that he (specifically out of all of Jay's friends) was off limits to you ever having a relationship with.

Jake was well known around the area you lived. He would constantly be out partying during his high school days, and messing around with many girls — far too many to count. It even got to a point where his parents were becoming frustrated with their sons behavior, so the Sim boy started bringing his flings back to your home. He was also captain of the Football team which was practically a Venus Flytrap for the girls in his year.

And yet, despite the boy's reputation and behavior, you still found yourself wanting him like all the others girls did. You loved his sweet, innocent eyes and his plump lips — and definitely his dark, brown locks of thick hair. You also loved that despite his playboy tendencies, he was always kind and respectful to you because after all, you were his best friends baby sister. He saw you like a sister of his own and you hated that.

The old you, at least.

After both Jake and Jay left for Australia in January, neither of the boys had returned to Korea on their breaks due to hectic schedules — which was perfect for you, because that gave you more time to get over the Sim boy and work on yourself.

As the months went by, and you began to relish life to its fullest, you started to forget about Jake Sim. He went from being in your mind as soon as you woke up in the morning, to only sprouting up whenever the words 'playboy', or 'Jay's best friend' was brought up.

Besides Jake, you started focusing more on yourself — though, you did take the advice Jake once gave on maintaining your good grades because now that you were in your final year of high school, you were thriving. Even with you being at the top of your class, you were no longer seen as the 'nerd' because according to your classmates, you had the visuals to make up for the name.

You’d grown into your looks a lot, and thanks to the numerous videos you’d stay up late to would watch about skin care on YouTube, your skin began looking fresh and healthy — and almost pimple free.

You started wearing makeup after a immature boy in your class made fun of your acne, and from then on, it became a daily task to apply more and more. Your techniques had improved tons as time went on and you’d gotten use to wearing it every day for school (which you did hate putting on so early in the morning).

So now, as you packed away your paintbrushes into the flimsy case at your art club, you had a wide smile on your pink, glossy lips whilst listening to something your best friend, Niki, had shared.

Ever since joining the art club in February of that year and meeting Nishimura Riki — or Niki as he likes to go by — you two instantly became close despite the small age gap you shared. You had many things in common and had almost the exact same humor. You bounced off of each other.

"I can't wait to meet your brother tomorrow." Niki announced, washing the paintbrushes in the paint covered sink as you had moved to stand beside him so that you could dry the brushes off.

Immediately, a smile tugged at the corner of your lips at the thought of your older brother. You hadn't seen him since January — and it was now August. That was the longest time the Park siblings had ever gone without seeing each other, and despite you both constantly bickering and teasing one another, you still missed Jay.

The Park family were going on your annual holiday to your holiday home in Jeju Island. It was something you did every year since you’d turned three. You went so often, that you even had a few close friends over their.

You were excited this year more than ever, because you were going to see your brother again, however, you knew Jake would be joining, and just the thought of him made your heart beat nervously against your chest.

Though, after begging your mother and father to allow you to also bring a friend, they eventually gave in, and without a doubt you’d asked Niki to join you on the getaway trip.

"And I can't wait to meet Mr. Jake Sim." Niki teased, wiggling his eyebrows and he wriggled his body and nudged his best friend, causing your eyes to widen slightly at the said boys name.

You had almost forgotten about him...

"Don't even, Niki," You chuckled out a warning, rolling your eyes as you put away the now clean objects. "I definitely hyped him up too much when we first met — now, he's just ew." You scrunched your face up in disgust, though, what you were feeling inside wasn't matching up right with what you were saying.

You felt guilty — like Jake was in the same room as you and heard you, hurting his feelings. You knew deep down you’d lied to Niki. Jake Sim wasn't 'ew', he was far from it.

"Now, I know you're lying." Niki shook his head disappointedly as he wiped his hands on the towel. "You know you do this thing with your eyebrows, you twitch —"

"Oh, shut up, Niki." You jokingly hit the boy with the damp cloth, making him laugh as you walked away to collect your things. "I'm not lying — Jake isn't as perfect as I once thought he was. He's a player and doesn't know how to treat girls right."

You were shocked at the words that were leaving your mouth. Never in your four years of knowing Jake Sim did you think you would be speaking about him the way you were — but here you were, removing your apron, ranting to your best friend about him.

"Good—" Niki nodded, a smile of proudness on his lips as he too, removed his apron. "You're too good for boys like him." He shrugged and you couldn't help but smile at his words. You would always love and appreciate his words of affirmation.

"So that's why, when we go to Jeju, you're going to find a Summer fling." He grinned mischievously, instantly making you scoff and knock your shoulder into him as you rolled your eyes again.

"No, thank you." You shook her head. "I'm done with boys for now. I'm going to wait for after high school — then I can get a man." You chuckled and so did Niki.

"Whatever you say, y/n." Niki said, a breathy laugh falling from his lips as they exited the art club and out into the Sunmer evening, both equally excited for the next few weeks to come.

───────────

The hot summer air blew through the open window and down onto you, blowing your hair uncontrollably as you flicked through the book you were currently reading.

You released an exasperated sigh and rested your head back against the head rest, turning your head away from your book and out to the open window that showed the blue ocean. You had landed in Jeju Island not long ago, and now you were on your way to the holiday home.

It was supposed to be an exciting journey, with you on the edge of your seat, wishing you could just teleport to the home instead of waiting out the rather long car ride, however this time round, it was completely the opposite.

You thought that you were excited for the holiday considering you’d be able to see your brother and have your best friend with you, but that wasn't the case. You could feel a pit of anxiety in the bottom of your stomach, making you feel sick as the thought of Jake Sim continued to appear in your head.

You didn't want to think of him — you really didn't, but just the thought of seeing him again after eight months made your heart pound against your chest. Had he changed much? Did he still play with girls' hearts? Was he still as hot as ever? The questions were nonstop, and making your head begin to ache.

Eventually, you let out a groan, growing fed up of picturing the boys face, and so you shut your book before glancing over at the Nishimura boy, who was fast asleep with his mouth slightly parted and his AirPods in his ears. You couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of him and let out a sigh, before leaning your head on his shoulder.

Sleep would be the best option to get through the duration of the long, Jake-filled, car ride.

After a little while, your eyes opened as soon as you felt the car come to a permanent stop, and instantly, you sat up, rubbing your eyes as you heard Niki tiredly sigh and your parents gasps of excitement.

Quickly, once the sleep had evacuated both of the teenagers' bodies, you hurriedly left the car, the heat hitting you immediately, however that was the least of your worries as your eyes landed on your older brother, Jay Park.

You grinned wildly as you watched him reunite with your parents. From what you could see, he hadn't changed much. Other than his hair — which was now an unnatural silver shade, instead of his natural brunette colour, though it still managed to suit him as it complimented his features.

"Is that y/n Park?" You heard Jay tease once he pulled away from the hug he was in with his father and turned to look at you and your new appearance. "My baby sister?"

A laugh fell from your lips as you broke out into a slight jog towards him, and quickly you engulfed one another into a hug. Never in your lives did you imagine yourselves ever hugging, yet here you were in the middle of Jeju, happy to see one another again.

"Nice to see you again, y/n." He smiled as you pulled away, and you bobbed your head in agreement, before your eyes landed on the unknown boy beside Jay. He had black hair, and despite being under the suns gaze, his skin was as white as snow, and his face was also decorated with a few small moles. His lips were plump and his nose was straight and looked as perfect as ever.

"Y/n, this is Sunghoon, a friend we met at College." Jay introduced, and Sunghoon sent you a small smile, to which you quickly mirrored.

You parted your lips to welcome the taller boy more, but before that could happen, you felt your breathing hitch as soon as you heard a familiar laugh.

His laugh.

Jake Sim’s laugh.

You gulped nervously, and glanced over to the front door of the holiday home, where Jake was leaving from. His hair was now black instead of brown, and he looked older, like he'd grown out of his baby face phase, and he looked far more mature... and way more attractive.

Your heartbeat pounded ferociously against your chest as you watched him walk down the porch steps, gracefully — however, the trance you were once in was soon broken as your eyes landed on the girl walking beside him, laughing along with him.

She was beautiful — very beautiful. She was slim and tall, and her skin was sunkissed. Her eyes were sharp and hazel and shined against the sun. Her lips were plump and a similar shape to a heart and her nose was button like and had a perfect slope. Her face was dotted with many freckles and her makeup was done neatly and perfectly. The girls hair was long and blonde and straight with a slight kink in it. She truly was flawless.

"Y/n?" Jake called out, a grin on his lips as soon as his eyes landed on you and as you looked away from the blonde girl beside him and at him, you couldn't help but notice the glint of surprise in his brown orbs.

You sent him a small smile as watched him open his arms for hug. For a moment, you contemplated whether you should hug him or not. You wanted to, but you knew that if you did, you would only start to fall again.

"It's good to see you, Jake." You stated and turned your attention to the blonde girl, ignoring the hint of confusion that appeared on his perfect face. Usually, you wouldn't hesitate to wrap your arms around him and squeeze him tightly… so why didn't you do that this time? Whatever the reason was, all the Sim boy knew was that he didn't like it.

"Who's this?" You politely wondered, breaking Jake's train of thought as he then wrapped an arm around the girl. "This is Niah, she's my girlfriend."

Ouch.

You had no idea why that sentence had such an effect on you. You was sure you were over him, so why did your heart ache so much?

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Niah grinned, leaning into Jake. Even her teeth were perfect. "I've heard so much about you."

You returned the smile, though it felt forced as you kept your eyes focused on Niah, refusing the look at Jake. "All good things, I hope." You chuckled and so did the blonde girl.

"Of course," Niah shook her head, giggles escaping her mouth. "Jake says you're like a little sister, so I'm more than excited to get to know you. I'm sure we'll be the bestest of friends."

Ouch.

You could feel your heart breaking the longer the conversation went on. You knew that that was how Jake always saw you, and you’d moved on from him, so why were you so bothered? It annoyed you that you were effected by whole situation, and you felt yourself become angry with yourself.

It was going to be a long summer...

Later on that evening, after getting settled into the home, the delicious smell of yours and Jay's mothers cooking was making its way through the house, causing everyone's stomachs to growl with hunger.

The sun was beginning to set by the time everybody was called to dinner, and once they all had their plates filled to the brim, they sat around the family table, eating.

"We're thinking on going on a late night swim," Jay announced, glancing over at you as you sat beside Niki — who was easily getting along well with your brother and his friends. "You should come — Niki too."

A smile appeared on your lips at the thought of swimming in the sea late at night. It would be just like old times and you couldn't help but feel a wave of nostalgia hit you as you quickly nodded you head in agreement.

"So, Jake, Niah," Jihye (the siblings' mother) began as she took a sip from her glass of red wine with a wide beam on her red painted lips. "Tell us the love story." She chuckled, and instantly, you felt your body tense up and you looked up from your plate of food and over at Jake, who had already been looking at you.

You were quick to feel your cheeks heat up, and without another thought, you looked away, far too flustered to remain eye contact — a smirk growing on Niki's lips as he noticed his best friends state.

"Well," Niah started, setting her fork down and glancing beside her at the Sim boy, a warm, loving smile appearing on her lips. "I had joined the college a few days later due to my flight from the States being delayed —"

"You're Korean is good." The siblings' father mustered, far too busy eating his food rather than engaging in the conversation.

Niah sent the older man a smile of gratefulness, before she quickly continued with her story.

"And when I arrived at the school, I got lost." She chuckled, pouting her lip playfully, causing everyone (other than you and Niki) to let out quiet laughs. "Jake noticed and helped me outside. Turns out we were both majoring in Physics, so we walked to class together and he ended up asking for my number." Niah shrugged, an expression of happiness swarming her features.

You let out an almost silent sigh as you glanced over at Jake, who was busy admiring Niah with a small smirk on his plump lips. Oh, how you wished to be admired by him —

You quickly cut yourself from your thoughts as you snapped your head down to your plate, your heart beating at a fast pace and your eyes widening slightly. There was no way... This couldn't be happening... Not after months of working on yourself and getting over him...

Without another word, you abruptly stood from your chair, the wooden legs of the seat scraping across the wooden floor.

Everybody stopped what they were doing and looked up at you with concern and confusion on their faces.

"Y/n? What's wrong?" Your mother wondered, and you couldn't help but have your eyes land on Jake. It was like he was a magnet and you hated that. You didn't want to look at him all the time. You didn't want to like him. He was your brothers best friend. He was Niah's girlfriend. He was off limits and you hated that.

"I just feel a bit sick," you lied, holding an arm across your stomach to make your lie more believable. "I'm going to lay down for a bit." You then announced and picked up your plate, washing it in the sink and then hurrying up to your room with a feeling of guilt in your chest.

Later on that evening, when the sun had officially set, you were laying on her bed, listening to the music that played in your AirPods. You hadn't been downstairs since dinner and you didn't plan on going downstairs for the continuation of the night.

As you felt your eyes begin to shut, exhaustion from not only the plane and car ride, but also the sun beginning to take over your body. That was all you wanted to do: sleep and forget about today and forget about your feelings for Jake.

However, that wasn't possible, because just as you shut your eyes, a knock at your bedroom door was heard, causing you to sigh slightly and sit up, removing one of your earphones. "Come in." You called out, watching at the door opened.

"Are you coming out for the swim?" Niki asked. He was clad in his swimming trunks and a towel was thrown over his bare shoulder. You couldn't help but laugh at the sight of him and you laid back on her bed, relaxing now that you knew Niki was the one knocking on you door.

"Who are you trying to impress?" You joked, looking him up and down. "Remember, Niah has a boyfriend." You sang, chuckling at yourself, and a mischievous grin appeared on Niki's lips.

"Remember, Jake has a girlfriend." He bounced back, instantly shutting you up making you snap your head over in his direction, glaring your eyes at him, before you both burst out laughing.

"You noticed?" You questioned, sitting back up as Niki sat at the foot of your bed, nodding his head.

"Of course — you were practically drooling over him at the table." He flared his eyes, and you quickly picked up the pillow that was beside you and hit the younger boy with it.

"Shut your mouth, I was not."

"Yes, you were." Niki nodded, standing up so that he could escape your abuse.

"Whatever," You rolled her eyes, sitting back on the bed. "Go have your swim." You nodded your head towards the door, and Niki huffed.

"You're not coming?" He asked and you shook her head.

"I feel sick, remember?"

"Bullshit." He chuckled, before sticking his tongue out at you and excitedly left your room after hearing Jay call out for him.

A sigh of relief fell from your lips as you laid down, finally happy to be able to give in to your tiredness.

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That same night, you’d woke up from your slumber in a pool of your own sweat. It was an uncomfortable feeling, really and you couldn't help but feel grossed out by it, and so you ripped the thin sheet from your body and stepped out of bed.

The house was silent, indicating that everyone was asleep, and the only thing that could be heard was the floor boards creaking as you walked down the corridor and made your way downstairs.

You got herself a glass of cold water and quickly gulped it down, in a hurry to get changed and then get back into bed, though just as you placed your glass in the sink, your eyes caught sight of the front door slightly ajar.

Immediately, you furrowed your brows in confusion, and couldn't help but feel a slight sense of panic sprout in your chest as you slowly approached the open door. Had someone broken in? Or had someone forgotten to close the door after coming back from the swim?

As you got closer to the door, your nose was soon filled with the smell on cigar smoke, quickly making you even more confused than you already were. And so, without another thought, you opened the door entirely, and your eyes slightly enlarged at the sight before you.

It was Jake sat on the top step of the porch stairs. He was clad in a white, long sleeved t-shirt, though he had the sleeves rolled up to above his elbows, and he wore a pair of denim jeans. His hair was damp, and messily sitting on his forehead, though that (surprisingly) wasn't the cause for your widened eyes — no, it was the cigarette he held between his fingers as he looked out at the ocean in front of the house.

For a moment, you didn't know what to do. You didn't know whether to leave him be, or to strike a conversation (the latter being something the old you would've done).

"Why aren't you sleeping, y/n?" His voice asked, instantly breaking you from your thoughts and causing your cheeks to heat up with embarrassment at the realization of being caught.

Gulping, you took a step forward and hesitantly sat on the steps with him, though you made sure to leave quite a large gap between you both, bringing your legs to your chest as you turned your head to look at him. "Why are you smoking?"

A smirk formed on Jake's lips as he then brought the cigarette up to his mouth and blew out a string of smoke in the opposite direction to where you were sat.

"Why not?" He shrugged.

"It's bad for you, Jake." You warned, disappointed at his actions. The old Jake wouldn't of done something like this, so why had his ways changed? "What about Football?" You questioned and the boy let out a long sigh, leaning back on his arm.

"I can still play, y/n, don't you worry." He chuckled, and you rolled your eyes at him.

"Did you have fun at the beach?" You wondered, moving on from the previous topic. You watched as Jake bowed his head slightly, biting his lip before turning to look at you.

"Yeah," He shrugged again. "I guess. It would've been better if you were there." The boy huffed out, taking another drag.

Immediately, you felt your heart explode and it felt as if a swarm of butterflies were flying around in your stomach, tickling your insides, and you felt your cheeks heat with fluster.

You hated when Jake would say things like this. He was always aware of the effect he had on you, and he liked to say things that would drive you into a frenzy which you hated. You knew he was playing around with you — the old you. Not now, you wouldn't let him get to you, and so, you took a deep breath and turned to look at him once again.

"Glad you had fun." You sighed, completely ignoring the statement before and stood up, about to head back inside though the boy stopped you as he spoke once again.

"You look pretty, by the way." He complimented, and your breathing hitched and you shut her eyes for a moment, the boys words doing things to you that you couldn't explain. There was no teasing tone to his voice. Had he really meant that?

Gathering yourself, you nodded. "Whatever, Jake." You spoke just above a whisper.

"I mean it, y/n." He looked behind him, looking up at you, who now halted your movements, your hand resting on the handle of the door. "You look beautiful."

You instantly squinted your eyes shut as you tried to compose yourself. Why was he doing this? Why now?

"Goodnight, Jake." You ignored him again before entering the home and heading back upstairs, your body far more sweatier than before.

The next morning, your parents had gone out to go and say hello and catch up with the neighbors, whilst everyone else had decided to head down to the beach for the day.

You were wearing a black bikini, with a pair of denim shorts covering your lower half. You had your towel in your hand and your book and headphones in the other as you walked through the sand beside Niah, behind everyone else who had hurried off, dumping their towels on the floor and rushing into the sea.

You both set up your space under one of the many community parasols, and once they were happy with it, they sat down; you opening up your book to the page you last left it on, whilst Niah watched the boys splashing around in the water.

"You're so lucky." Niah sighed, looking over at you, making you slowly detach your eyes from the words on your page and placed them on Niah. "You have two great brothers and Niki." She softly chuckled, and you cocked a brow.

"Two brothers?" You questioned, confused, as you were more than sure that your parents only gave birth to you and Jay.

"Jake — you guys are like siblings, right?" Niah asked, looking up at you, whose lips were now slightly parted as you nodded your head slowly.

"Right." You bluntly answered, ignoring the pang of annoyance in your chest. There was no way you viewed Jake as a brother, and there was no way you ever would.

Silence took over, and quickly, you both got back to doing your own thing. Jake, Jay, Niki, and Sunghoon had now left the Sea and decided to join in with another group that were playing Football on the sand, and you couldn't help but watch them, thinking back to the times you’d watch Jay and Jake's Football games when they were in High School.

As time continued, you soon got bored of watching and directed your attention back to your book — however, that was a bad idea, as you became unbeknownst to the ball that was now flying your way, aiming for your face, when suddenly, a Football hit you harshly across the face.

You sat with your mouth slightly agape and your hand on the right side of your face, far too stunned to speak — the only sound surrounding you being the gasps of the people on the beach.

The ball was kicked at a savage force, making the side of your face burn bright red and feel sore. You felt embarrassed as everyone watched you. You didn't know what to do. Should you just act like nothing happened? Get up and leave?

Before you could come to a decision, you were approached by one of the boys that were playing football.

"I'm so sorry." He spoke, his voice not very deep for a boy.

You looked up at him, raising your other hand to cover your eyes so that you were able to get a better look at the boy. He had brown hair that had a few waves mixed within the thickness of it, and it looked as if it was in need of a cut due to the few strands that hung over his doe, cat-like eyes. His lips were in between the size of small and big, his Cupids bow being deeply defined. Though, despite his fierce eyes and pretty lips, what stood out most to you was the dimples that dented his cheeks.

"It's okay." You awkwardly shook your head, your lips forming a tight line as you slowly looked away and at your legs, far too embarrassed to look him in the eye.

"No, really," The boy continued, kneeling down so that his face could become level with yours. "I'm sorry, it looked like it hurt." He nodded his head to your sore face. A small, awkward smile tugged at the corner of your lips as a quiet chuckle fell from your lips.

He seemed sweet.

"It's fine, I'm okay." You reassured the boy, who sighed and nodded slightly.

"Hey," The boy nervously began, standing up and rubbing the non-existent dirt from his shorts. "You should come to my friends party tonight — said he wants to make it one of his biggest." He shrugged and you couldn't help but chuckle as his awkwardness.

Going to a party was something you would never choose to go to. You were always the kind to stay in your bedroom, revising, reading or listening to music. The night life never appealed to you, and whenever your brother would go out to parties with his friends in high school, you could never understand the entertainment about it. However, the revamped you knew you had to get out more and socialize — even if you didn't really want to.

So, after thinking over the boys proposal, you slowly nodded your head, a small smile tugging at your lips.

"Great!" He happily spoke, his body visibly relaxing now that your answer was out in the open. "Uhm, you know where Lee Heeseung lives, right?"

"Yeah." You bobbed your head. Lee Heeseung was a boy around your brothers age. He was well known within the neighborhood of holiday homes for not only his handsome looks and kind personality, but also his night changing parties.

"Cool, the party starts at 8, so come anytime after that." The boy before you shrugged, nodding his head, awkwardly glancing over at Niah, who held in a giggle, excitement filling her bones at the situation you were in.

"Great, see you then..." you trailed off, soon realizing she didn't know the boys name.

"Jungwon — and you're y/n, right?" Jungwon announced, and you couldn't help but smile as you nodded your head.

"Okay, see you at 8, y/n." Jungwon waved, before he rejoined his game of Football after retrieving the football.

A blush formed on your cheeks as you bowed your head, your stomach fluttering around filled with butterflies.

"He just asked you out!" Niah exclaimed, a wide smile on her face as you immediately shook your head, denying the girls statement.

"No, he only asked me to go to a party, that's all." You shrugged, and Niah scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Well, he didn't ask me." She deadpanned, a smirk on her lips as she leaned over and playfully nudged you. You were excited for the party later, and you were happy that not once did Jake Sim appear in your head…

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"But why can't we go?" Jay questioned, a whine lacing his voice as he sat at the dining room table, an annoyed look on his face as he watched as you put your silver heels on.

"Shut up, Jay." Niah huffed, slapping the boys shoulder. "This is y/n’s night, she's met a boy."

"Yeah, a boy she's known for less then five minutes." Jake stated, folding his arms across his chest. He wasn't too happy about the whole idea. It was weird in his opinion. How could anyone be pleased about that idea? "And it's barely even a date. It's Lee Heeseung's party." He scoffed out.

"Don't be jealous, Jake," you grinned, grabbing your bag and making your way over to the front door. "Just because you don't get asked to go to parties —"

"I have been asked to parties, I've just chosen to decline their offer." Jake stated, feeling odd about the way you were behaving. Usually, as soon as he would disapprove of something, you went with what he said... so why wasn't that the case this time?

"Whatever." You shook your head. "I'll see you guys later."

"Phone us if anything happens!" You heard Niki yell after you once you were down the porch steps.

You could feel your heart pound nervously against your chest. You were filled with nerves and you had thoughts on backing out. You’d never been to a party before — let alone on your own, so this would be a new experience.

Once you arrived at the party, you couldn't help but feel a wave of anxiety consume you. The loud, blaring music bounced from one holiday home to the next, and the street was pact with parked cars. There were many people standing around outside Heeseung's home, and there were plenty of plastic cups and burnt out cigarettes scattered on the dried out grass.

It was your first time going to a party alone, and so far, by first glance, you were beginning to regret your decision.

That was, however, until your eyes landed on Jungwon, who was walking down the porch steps and over to you with a red, plastic cup in his clutch. He was clad in a pair of black, denim jeans, a white, loose fitted t-shirt, and a black bomber jacket and converse. He looked good, and you couldn't help but look him up and down for a while.

"You came!" Jungwon grinned widely, his dimples becoming as prominent as ever. You smiled back at the boy, quickly feeling more at ease within his presence.

"Of course," You spoke, glancing around at the tipsy people before looking back at the Yang boy. "Wouldn't miss it for the world.” You jokingly chuckled and Jungwon couldn't help but laugh also.

"Come on," He nodded his head towards the front door of the house as he began to walk towards it, you hot on his tail. "I'll introduce you to my friends."

You nodded, and as soon as you entered the home, you were instantly hit with a clash of scents. Many different perfumes mixed with sweat was assorted within the air, along with a strong scent of booze and weed. It wasn't exactly pleasant, and you found yourself grimacing as the smells hit your nose all at once.

"You look really good, by the way." Jungwon turned back to compliment. His voice loud, making you smell the traces of alcohol in his breath, as he had to shout due to the music that was even louder inside.

Immediately, a shade of crimson took over your makeup covered cheeks, and you couldn't help but feel flustered at his compliment. It was random, however you found yourself liking it.

"Thanks — so do you." You returned, and Jungwon smiled back, latching his hand onto yours as you made your way past plenty of moist bodies and eventually made it to his friends.

There were four boys all stood around; some were leaning against the wall, others were stood in front of them with cups in their hands.

"Hey guys," Jungwon called out once the two approached them, the boy placing his hand on one of his friends shoulder. "This is y/n Park —"

"Jay's sister, right?" Lee Heeseung questioned, turning his body to take a better look at you. His eyes trailed your body up and down with a raised brow, a look of intrigue shining through his features.

"Yeah, and you're Heeseung?" You wondered. You knew exactly who he was, you just didn't want to be awkward and nod your head, leaving the conversation at that.

"Sure am," He chuckled. "You've grown up so much." He commented, glancing over at Jungwon and then back at you. "You're not the old, nerdy, y/n anymore." Heeseung jokingly spoke.

Quickly, you felt yourself begin to worry. Sure, you may not look 'nerdy' any more, but that wasn't to say your grades weren't straight A's and your attendance wasn’t a perfect 99.9%, because it was and what if Jungwon didn't like that?

"Nope, not any longer." You awkwardly laughed.

"Right, well, this is Jisung," Jungwon continued, pointing to the fox-like boy who was leaning against the wall. Jisung sent you a smile, instantly making you feel welcome which you very much appreciated.

"This is Johan, and that's Chris." Jungwon introduced the two other boys, who both mirrored Jisung's actions.

"Hey, y/n," Heeseung began. "Is Jake in town this summer?" He wondered after taking a swig of his drink. "I haven't seen him in so long. We need to catch up." He smirked a mischievous grin, which made you furrow your brows slightly in confusion before nodding.

"Cool, well me and y/n are going to get a drink," Jungwon spoke out, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "We'll catch you guys later." He announced and they all nodded in agreement, before the two weaved their way through people to get to the kitchen.

"What would you like?" Jungwon wondered, picking up a cup and then looking through the many bottles of alcohol that were set out on the kitchen counter for people to grab and fill their cups with.

"Oh," you began. You hadn't drank before, so this was a whole new experience for you. You didn't know which one you would like or which one you would hate, and you really didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of Jungwon.

"I'll have whatever you're having." You told him, to which he smirked slightly and nodded, picking up the bottle of Vodka and he mixed it with a very small amount of Sprite.

As soon as the liquid travelled down your throat, you found yourself squinting your eyes shut and pulling the cup away from your lips in disgust. It tasted as if you had just downed a whole bottle of hand sanitizer. The drink burned your throat and you coughed from it.

It truly was horrendously bad...

As time went on and minutes turned to hours, the clock struck two a.m, and by now, you were a sweaty mess.

For some reason, you found yourself craving more of the alcohol Heeseung had out, and after you finished your first cup, you finished another eight.

Your body felt light, and as if it was spinning on a spinning chair constantly, and your eyesight wasn't the clearest — along with your words. You were speaking freely to people you wouldn't choose to speak to if you were sober. You felt as if all of your problems had faded away and it was only you and the music existing.

That was until Jungwon pulled you out of the house and into the fresh air. The humid, night air immediately hitting you, causing a sense of relief to consume your body. You leaned against him him as he helped you down the steps, random giggles escaping your lips as your nose filled with the scent of Jungwon's long lasting cologne.

"You're very good looking, Jungwon." You announced, glancing up at him. Your eyes were doe like and glossed over. Your cheeks were pinker than ever before, and the slight glow of sweat remained on your skin. "You know, you're special because I don't find many men attractive."

The Yang boy glanced down at you, chuckles coming from him as he thanked you once they got to the bottom of Heeseung's front garden. "You should call someone to come pick you up — I'm crashing here for the night." He explained and you slowly nodded your head as his words entered one ear and exited the other.

"Y/n, come on." Jungwon laughed, and you pouted as you brought of your phone and clicked on your contacts. Your vision wasn't the best, and so as you typed in the letters 'JA' and two contacts appeared, you pressed on your brothers name and held the phone up to your ear.

"Y/n?"

"Can you pick me up from Heeseung's house?" You slurred out, stumbling slightly, making Jungwon grab hold of you.

"Yeah, of course, I'll be there in a minute."

Tiredly, a yawn passed your lips as you sat yourself down on the curb, patiently waiting to be picked up. "Thank you for tonight." You smiled up at Jungwon, who nodded, smiling back.

"No need to thank me," He shrugged. "I enjoyed it."

Eventually, the person who came to pick you up arrived, and as soon as your eyes landed on them, they widened in shock.

Jake?

Had you accidentally phoned Jake Sim?

Your jaw was held open slightly as Jake Sim approached you and Jungwon. Had you really phoned him instead of Jay?

The boy was wearing a pair of dark lounge shorts and a long sleeved, yellow and black striped polo shirt that had a light blue collar. He looked tired which was no surprise considering it was way past two a.m, and his hair was a little bit tousled.

You still managed to find him the most attractive boy ever, and you quickly shook yourself out of your trance and turned to Jungwon, bidding your goodbye before following after Jake.

You were both consumed by silence. Jake had his hands shoved in his shorts pockets and you stumbled beside him, causing him to chuckle softly before removing his hand from the comfort of his pocket and to hold onto your arm to keep you stable.

You were far too out of it to realize that you were walking the complete opposite way to the holiday home, and instead going to the twenty-four hour convenience store and it wasn't until your eyes landed on the lit up shop that a glimpse of confusion took over your features and you turned your head to look up at him.

"What..." You began, gulping to try and gather you words. "Why are we here?" You slurred out and a long sigh fell from Jake's lips as he lead you over to the empty bench outside the store.

"You need to sober up," He tells you once you’re sat on the bench. "You can't go back in this state." Jake explained and you only nodded your head, not asking any questions. "Now stay here, okay. Don't wonder off." He ordered, and you sat up, giggles leaving your lips.

"Okay, Jakey..." you grinned, your face close to Jake's as your eyes met. You were so close that you could practically see every detail on each others faces, and Jake could smell the strong scent of alcohol leaving your mouth. The older boys eyes trailed down to your plump, reddened lips and he subconsciously found himself biting his own down on his own.

Before anything could happen — not that Jake would do anything due to you being highly intoxicated and him having a girlfriend, of course — a stray cat brushed across Jake's leg, making him jump back slightly in shock.

Your eyes widened at the sight of the cat and you immediately bent down in your sitting position to smooth the cat as the Sim boy went inside the store.

You had always been a dog person growing up and never really liked cats at all, but you were far too drunk to even care about your preferences and feelings towards the animal.

Easily getting distracted, your eyes landed on the flowers that were scattered across the outside walls of the shop and the kids tattoo machine that you would once waste tons of money on when you were younger. Your eyes also fell on the gumball machine that was beside the tattoos and despite your queazy mindset, you felt your breathing hitch at the memory that came with the machine.

The memory that made you realize just how much you liked Jake Sim.

An excited beam was plastered on your fourteen year old self’s lips as you impatiently waited in line to use the gumball machine with your friends.

Your older brother and his friends were currently occupying the machine, taking their time because they made it their mission to get a piece of bubblegum in every colour.

"Jay," You whined, sticking out your bottom lip to pout in annoyance. "Hurry up, you're taking forever!"

"Shut up, y/n," Jay yelled back, turning the knob on the machine. "You're so annoying." He huffed and you instantly rolled your eyes and folded your arms across your chest.

"You're so annoying!" You returned the insult childishly, shoving your brother out of the way so that you could finally have your go. Your smile grew and your eyes enlarged as you quickly brought of the only coin you had from your denim shorts pocket and eagerly slotted it into the coin slot and turned the handle.

Your fists clenched as you impatiently waited for the bubblegum to roll along its spiraling pathway, before it eventually reached the opening. Without another thought, you reached out the grab it, and as soon as it was in your hand, it was immediately knocked out.

Your eyes widened in shock and a gasp left your mouth as you watched as it rolled into a drain.

Anger filled your veins as you turned to look at Jay who had shoved you back. "What the hell, Jay?!" You furiously yelled. "That was my only coin!"

"Oh," Jay pouted, faking his look of regret and sadness. "Too bad." He broke out into a grin and shrugged, before turning and picking up his bike that was laying on the floor; his friends following after him besides one — Jake Sim.

"Here." Jake smiled, holding his hand out that currently had a blue gumball in. As soon as your eyes landed on it, they widened and you couldn't help but feel your cheeks heat red at his kind action.

"Uh..." She awkwardly began. "Are you sure? I can just get another one next week." You spoke, and Jake simply shook his head, shaking his hand as a way of telling you to take it from him.

"Have it, you didn't deserve that — Jay was just being an ass." He chuckled at the thought of his best friend, and you slowly nodded and hesitantly reached out and took the gum from him.

"See ya, y/n!" Jake waved, quickly climbing on his bike and catching up with his friends, leaving fourteen year old you with a fluttering heart. He was the first boy to ever show kindness to you. He was the first boy you ever had a crush on.

When Jake finally returned to you, breaking you from your daze, he had his hands filled with a water bottle and two ice lollies. Your eyes instantly widened at the sight of your favorite ice lolly in his clutch and a beam spread across your cheeks as you reached out for it.

"Nu-uh." Jake shook his head, pulling his hand away from you and holding out the bottle of water he'd bought for you. "You can have the ice lolly once you've finished this." He told you and shoved the bottle into your hands, making you scoff.

"But it'll melt." You pointed out and Jake shrugged.

"You better hurry then."

Once you had finished the iced bottle of water, you were now peacefully enjoying your mixed berry ice lolly, whilst Jake enjoyed his weird (Mom Is Alien) flavored ice cream.

You could feel your heart pounding against your chest as you felt yourself begin to slowly sober up and realize just how close you and Jake were sat. The side of your thigh was touching the side of his, and as you both leaned against the back rest of the bench, your arms constantly brushed against one another.

"I'm sorry for phoning you." You announced, breaking the comfortable silence you were sat in.

A breathy chuckle passed through Jake's swollen lips (swollen due to the coldness of the ice lolly) "I was already awake." He revealed, and your eyebrow raised.

"You were?"

The boy nodded his head and turned to look down at you; your eyes instantly meeting and you could feel your breathing hitch as you couldn't help but wonder if he ever felt the same way you did — even if it was just slightly.

"I was worried for you." He simply shrugged, a small smile appearing on his mouth. "It was my baby sisters first time going out to a party alone." He teased, nudging you playfully as you felt your heart tear into millions of pieces.

Instantly, your shoulders slumped and you turned your head away from him and down at your lap, quickly feeling sober due to the sadness that overtook your body. You’d lost your appetite and so now, the ice lolly was melting and dripping down your hand.

"Oh..." You sighed, biting your bottom lip, refusing to make eye contact with the boy again. You felt so... silly for ever thinking he could possibly see you in the same light you did for him. "Right..."

"Did you have a good time?" Jake wondered, continuing to eat his ice cream.

"Yeah," you slowly nodded. "Jungwon seems nice. I'm really starting to like him." You expressed, a smile making its way to your lips at the thought of the dimpled boy — you unbeknownst to Jake, who had seemed to tense up to the way you spoke about the Yang boy.

Eventually, as time passed and both you and Jake finished your ice cream, a huff escaped your lips as you felt your eyes begin to grow heavy.

"I'm tired." You moaned out as Jake stood up, you looking up at him as he chuckled at your behavior.

"Come on," He spoke, nodding his head to the direction they had to walk in. "We're not far from home."

"But I'm too tired to walk." It wasn't usual for you to be like this. You weren’t one to be bratty, but with the alcohol rushing through your veins, she didn't care.

A long groan came from Jake as he threw his head back and flared his eyes. "You think you're such a princess." He joked and squatted down in front of you. "Get on." He ordered.

A part of you was telling you not to get on and just suck it up and walk, however a massive part of you was telling you to just do it — and because you were drunk, you found yourself listening to the devil on your shoulder, and without another word, you climbed onto the Sim boys back.

Once you finally arrive at the home, you quietly entered and made your way through the home, you not waiting around to say anything else to the boy. You were done. You couldn't — wouldn't — waste your time waiting for him, nor would you continue to be delusional and think a simple brotherly action from him was something more.

You were fed up.

"Goodnight, y/n." You heard Jake softly say, instantly making you halt your movements as you approached the bottom of the stairs, one hand on the railing. Your heart continued to beat faster than ever and you shut your eyes to compose yourself. You weren’t going to do it. You weren’t going to allow him to change your mind again. You couldn't do it anymore.

And the first step to moving on was to ignore him — and that’s what you. You didn’t utter a word to the older boy and you continued your way to your bedroom, desperate for your heart beat to slow down.

───────────

If your head wasn't already banging before, then it definitely was now, now that Niki barged into your bedroom, throwing questions at her, demanding to know what went down last night.

"Did you guys kiss?" Niki grinned, excitedly laying himself down at the end of your bed. Your brows furrowed in confusion and annoyance, and your head pulsed with pain as you slowly sat up on your bed — your hair matted and dark, prominent eye bags beneath your eyes.

"Did you get drunk?! Did he walk you home?" The younger boy continued to ask, causing even more discomfort to your head.

"Niki, please." You huffed, squinting your eyes shut. Why was everything suddenly so loud? "Be quiet for a minute." You groaned, throwing the warm blanket from your body, about to get out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Niki raised a brow and you stopped your movements and turned to look at him.

"I'm going to get Aspirin." You told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, though a glimps of confusion flashed across Niki's features and he pointed to your bedside table.

You mirrored the boys feelings and turned to look at the table, only for your eyes to widen slightly. On it was two Aspirin tablets, a bottle of water and a pack of crackers. Shock consumed your body and you sheepishly glanced over at your best friend.

Had you put them there last night and forgotten about doing it? Though, considering you were quite drunk, your thoughts before jumping into bed would most definitely not be getting medication for the morning — and crackers. The only person you knew to have crackers after being drunk was Jake, and that because you once let both your brother and Jake ramble about a party they went to that night and how they were 'totally not' drunk whilst slurring on their words, meanwhile you revised for an exam the next morning.

Jake?

Was he the one to put them there?

"Did you forget that you put it there last night?" Niki chuckled, breaking you out of your thoughts as you slowly nodded you head. "Did you drink that much?"

A breathy chuckle fell from your lips and you let out a sigh. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"How was the party last night?" He wondered once you had taken the Aspirin and begun to eat the crackers.

"I can't really remember to be honest." You shrugged, and it was true. You couldn't remember pretty much anything from the actual party. All you could remember was her heart breaking when Jake sister-zoned her.

A long and exaggerated huff fell from Niki's mouth as he threw his head back in annoyance and rolled his eyes. He'd been waiting all morning (it was now the afternoon) for his best friend to wake up and tell him about your night, and now you couldn't even remember.

"Whatever," Niki stood from your bed. "You look like shit." He deadpanned and your mouth parted ever so slightly in shock. That was unexpected. "You should wash up because your dads doing lunch on the BBQ outside." Niki informed before leaving you alone to get ready.

Once you had showered and gotten ready for the day — your bikini beneath your denim shorts and loose t-shirt — you made your way down the stairs.

Instantly, your nose was filled with the scent of smoke and the delicious smell of ribs and burgers. It was nice and even made your stomach growl as you walked into the kitchen to go out the double doors to head outside.

However, before you could get far, your eyes landed on him — Jake Sim. He was pouring himself a glass of Coke whilst wearing a pair of wet swim trunks and no top. His hair was damp with water droplets dripping from it and rolling down his body.

You knew it was wrong to stare and feel the way you did about him. You didn't want to like him. You couldn't help but feel guilty because not only were you betraying your brother, but you felt as if you were also betraying Niah.

Too lost in your thoughts, Jake slowly looked up from his glass and over to you, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as soon as his eyes landed on you, instantly making you to break away from your thoughts.

Your cheeks reddened with embarrassment. You’d just been caught staring and now all you wanted to do was curl up in a ball and roll away. He looked hotter than ever with the water gliding down his toned body, and you felt your stomach swirl as a wave of fluster hit you.

He has a girlfriend, you’d tell herself, attempting to compose yourself. You needed to move on. Jake Sim didn't like you — he never would. You were Jay Park's baby sister, you didn't stand a chance...

And so, you cleared your throat and stood up straight. "You're making a mess." You stated, catching him off guard. "Make sure you clean up the puddle on the floor." You nodded down the the pool of water by his feet from the water falling from his body, before you looked back up at him.

You both held eye contact for a short moment, Jake not knowing what to say. You had never spoke to him like that before. Usually, you would get flustered and stutter on your words, but this time you didn't and that bothered Jake.

You silently picked up your art book that was on the kitchen island and turned around the walk through the open, double doors. You couldn't help but feel proud of yourself.

"There she is!" Your father beamed once he saw that you were now awake and outside. "Do you want a burger, y/n?" He asked, flipping over the circular food and a wide smile appeared on your lips.

You parted her lips, about to agree even though your stomach was really calling out for the ribs. You knew they were a mess to eat and you didn't want to look a slob in front of Jake — a scoff quickly escaped your lips as you realized what you were thinking.

You weren’t going to let Jake Sim unknowingly dictate your life anymore.

And, when you finished eating the plate of delicious ribs, you moved yourself from the bench and table and over to the sun beds, where your mother and Niah were busy sunbathing. You sat herself on the empty bed between them and let out a long sigh; exhaustion taking over your body from the meal you’d just eaten.

Picking up your art book from your lap and opening it, your eyes immediately widened slightly and a quiet huff passed your lips as you took in the many different sketches you’d started of Jake Sim but never finished.

You always found Jake hard to draw. You weren’t sure if it was because his features were so perfect that they couldn't be recreated, or if it was because you became obsessed with a new look from the boy and desperately wanted it down on paper; not bothering to finish your previous work.

Shaking your head, you snapped yourself out of your thoughts and glanced over at Niah. You didn't want the girl seeing Jake in your sketch book and getting the wrong idea, and so, you quickly turned to a blank page, retrieving a pencil from your pencil case to start a new piece.

However, before you had the chance to do anything, a gush of water was sprayed in your direction, soaking your lap and the pages of your book.

A gasp left your mouth and you instantly sat up on the bed, the squeals from Niah and the laughter of your parents, Niki, your brother and his friends consuming your hearing.

"Jay!?" You yelled out, looking over to him, where he was stood in the pool with a (now empty) water gun pointing in your direction. "What the hell!"

"Stop being boring losers," He scoffed, putting the gun down and rolling his eyes dramatically. "Come on, get in."

"We're gonna play Chicken and I need a partner." Niki smirked mischievously at his best friend, and you couldn't help but chuckle at him. You’d always liked that pool game — and you were a pro at it. However you quickly remembered the times when you were younger and when you would play and be the one on Jake's shoulders...

"So get in and get on my shoulders." Niki ordered, and quickly, you sarcastically huffed and put your book down, making your way to the edge of the pool (Jake's look of annoyance going unnoticed by everyone).

Once you were in the warm pool and now on your best friends shoulders, you watched as Jake swam to the edge of the pool and called out for Niah.

"Why don't you play?" The Sim boy asked his girlfriend, a smile on his plump lips as he rested his head on his arms and tilted his head slightly to look at her. "You can be on my shoulders?"

"No, thank you," Niah shook her head, her lips scrunching in disgust as she removed her sunglasses to look at Jake. "My hair will go green if I get in." She chuckled as she put her sunglasses back on and laying back to continue her tanning session.

You watched as the boy let out a sad sigh and his shoulders slumped before he turned back around to face everyone who was having their own conversation.

"Sunghoon, you're the Ref." Jay told the quiet boy, who smiled and nodded his head in agreement. "I'm gonna verse my sister, and then we'll finally get to see who the better Park is." The boy chuckled with a shrug as he beckoned Jake over so that he could get on his best friends shoulders.

Quickly, you rolled your eyes at your brother. "I don't need to win a stupid Chicken game to know that, Idiot." You scoffed.

"Be quiet, Nerd." Jay huffed, and eventually, once he was sat comfortably on Jake's shoulders, the four heard Sunghoon count down from three before yelling 'Go!'

Instantly, you began to wrestle, pushing and shoving each other. Your laughter was heard throughout the back garden, and the screams of worry that left your mouth would be heard every now and then when you would almost be pushed back into the water.

It was a tough competition. Neither Park was willing to give up and that was mainly due to the massive competitive gene you’d inherited from your father — howbeit, just as you thought Jay was about to tumble back into the pool, your eyes landed on Jake, who reached his arm out to shove Niki back, harshly.

Catching the Nishimura boy off guard, your best friend went stumbling backwards, a gasp of shock leaving both of your mouths as you were soon submerged within the water, evidently losing the game of Chicken.

Once you came up from the water, you were straight away faced with the cheers of your brother, Jake and Sunghoon (the referee!) your brows furrowed in annoyance and you were quick to point your finger at Jake.

"This is so unfair!" You stated. "Jake pushed Niki."

"Quit being a sore loser, Sis!" Jay mocked, jokingly using the nickname as he stuck his tongue out you, who rolled your eyes with a scowl on your face, and you splashed the two boys with the pool water before turning to Sunghoon.

"Sunghoon, you saw Jake push me." Niki stated, and a smirk appeared on the pale boys lips as he glanced over at Jay and Jake, doing his best to contain his laughter.

"Sorry, guys," He slowly began. "But a games a game..." He shrugged and broke out laughing before being brought in for a group up with Jay and Jake, the three boys cheering, leaving you and Niki left to roll your eyes.

After a little while of messing around in the pool, you finally managed to convince the boys to play your favorite pool game — Volleyball. Though, looking around, you soon came to the realization that the teams would be uneven and ultimately unfair.

"Hey, Niah," you called out to the blonde girl. "Do you want to join?" She asked, but the only response you received was the soft snores coming from Niah's parted lips.

"I'm tired anyways," Niki shrugged, a smirk on his lips as he glanced at you before lifting himself out of the pool and sitting on the edge, water droplets dripping from him. "Y/n and Jake can just team up."

Instantly, you snapped your head over in your best friends direction, a glimpse of shock spread across your features as you sent him a glare. What was he playing at?

Jake, however, was quick to agree and make his way over to you, who sent him a forced smile. You really did not want to be partners with Jake Sim.

But, nevertheless, when the game had begun, and you soon realized you and Jake were losing against your brother and Sunghoon, you let out an annoyed groan as you watched as Jay and Sunghoon conversed about strategies between themselves.

You were annoyed. You wanted to win — especially after (wrongfully) losing in the game of Chicken. The inflatable balloon was thrown back and forth, and just as you thought you could score a point for your team, it would quickly be snatched away by a overly aggressive hit back from Jay.

"Get a grip." You told Jake, who rolled his eyes at your attitude. Having basically grown up with the Park siblings, Jake had become accustomed to their behavior, and he knew that when a competition was involved, he was bound to receive 'tough encouragement' (as Jay would call it) from the either of you.

"Hey," Jake spoke up, beckoning you over to him. Your brows furrowed in confusion, and you held up a pause sign to Jay and Sunghoon, who rolled their eyes and allowed you both to speak.

"What?" You asked, a tone of annoyance laced within your voice. "You're literally sucking ass out there, Jake, come on."

The Sim boy couldn't help but chuckle at your words and he rolled his eyes. "Shut up, I have a plan."

"And that is?"

"You'll see." He stated, before un-pausing the game. "Come stand by me." He stated, and you sent him a look of confusion. Why did he want you to go back over to him? How could they possibly hit the ball when stood together?

"Why?" You questioned and the boy groaned and flared his eyes.

"Will you just do it?!" He questioned, impatiently and you huffed and did as told.

"Can I touch you?" Jake leaned down slightly to your ear and whispered, his hot breath fanning her skin and sending goosebumps all over your body. Your eyes widened at the close proximity and you felt yourself nervously gulp as the boys words swirled around in your head.

"Yes..." you nodded your head, remembering he only saw you as a sister and not witnessing the smirk that appeared on Jake's lips as he placed his hands on your waist beneath the water.

His hands on you felt weird — but in a good way. It sent butterflies crashing into your stomach and made your heart flutter. You’d never been touched like this by a boy before, so everything was peculiar to you. You didn't know what you were feeling.

Snapping you away from your thoughts, you heard Jay yell 'go', before he launched the beach ball over to them. Your eyes widened in fear as you suddenly felt restricted. Jake had his hands on you so you couldn't move, and the ball was flying right your way. There was no way you were going to be hit in the face by another ball on this holiday.

However, before the ball had chance to hit you in the face, Jake lifted you up so that you could have a chance at hitting it, considering Jay would unfairly hit it as high as he could knowing you weren’t tall enough — and luckily, you smacked the ball back over to the opposing team, catching them off guard and making the ball land outside of the pool.

Instantly, a giant smile appeared on your lips as Jake put you down and you quickly spun around, instinctively wrapping your arms around the older boys neck and pulling him in for a victory hug. Jake's arms circled around your waist, pulling you against him as you let out squeals of happiness.

You truly were happy to see the annoyed look on your brothers face.

The moment between Jake and you was interrupted by your father clearing his throat, making you realize what was going on.

Your eyes enlarged in shock and you speedily removed yourself from Jake and turned to your dad, acting as if nothing happened and ignoring the blush that was creeping upon your cheeks.

"There's some boy at the door," He announced, a playful smirk on his lips as he wiggled his brows. "He's asking for you."

Immediately, your eyes lit with excitement and you hurriedly got out the pool and wrapped a towel around her your body. There was only one boy you thought could be at the door and that was Jungwon, and so, as you headed inside, ignoring the eye roll from Jake (which did confuse you for a moment), you quickly walked over to the front door that was left slightly ajar.

Your thoughts were correct. There stood Yang Jungwon with a warm smile on his lips, revealing his cute dimples. "Hey." You smiled at the taller boy.

"Hi," He breathed out, slightly nervous. "Your dads scary." He blurted, and you quickly let out a chuckle.

"He's not once you get to know him." You reassured, the smile remaining on your lips as Jungwon soon mirrored your expression. "What're you doing here?" You wondered.

"Well, me and my friends are having a bonfire on the beach later on," The Yang boy began, shoving a hand in his front pocket. "And I was wondering if you wanted to join?"

As soon as the words left Jungwon's lips, you quickly bobbed your head in agreement. You were starting to really like Jungwon, and so you were more than happy to keep spending time with him.

"I'd love to."

"Cool," Jungwon let out a breath of relief as he nodded his head. "You can bring your brother and your friends along too, if you'd like... the more the merrier."

"Will do." You nodded and Jungwon's smile grew even more.

"Great, I'll come by later to get you?" He asked, and without hesitation, you nodded your head, before you bid your goodbyes, and Jungwon walked away with a grin on his face and you shut the door with a smile on yours.

You knew tonight was going to be fun.

───────────

When Jungwon had arrived at the home later on that night, sticking to his word and picking you up, you all made your way towards the beach — Jungwon and you in front of everyone, and Jake trailing behind everyone else with his hands stuffed in his jean pockets.

"You look really pretty tonight." Jungwon complimented, turning his head to glance down at you, whose cheeks now burned red.

What you were wearing was pretty simple, however you still managed to look as beautiful ever. You wore a pair of baggy denim shorts and a tight fitted red, cropped top. You paired it with your everyday jewelry and a pair of white socks and black and white Adidas Samba's. You hadn't put on loads of makeup when getting ready, considering the sun burn that was decorating your face hurt to touch, so you wore winged eye liner, mascara and a clear lip gloss and you hair just how you liked it.

"Really?" You questioned in a tone that showed you were slightly shocked by the boys compliment and Jungwon chuckled, nodding his head as you did your best to hold back your wide grin.

"You always do." He stated and never in your life did you think you would be thankful for the sunburn that was spread across your cheeks, because otherwise the Yang boy would be able to see your red, beaming cheeks.

Once arriving at the beach, your lips parted in awe as you took in the sight before you. In the center of the beach was a massive, glowing bonfire that had flakes of fire flying from it. It's crisping and crackling sound was just about heard over the loud beat of the electronic music and there were many people dancing around the fire with plastic cups in their hands — more than likely filled with alcohol.

"Do you want a drink?" Jungwon wondered, and you nodded your head in agreement before the boy hurried to the drinks stand, leaving you with large smile on you lips.

"He's only getting you a drink," you heard Jake Sim scoff from beside you, immediately making you turn to look at him with a scowl spread on your features. "No need to swoon over him that much." He rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly.

"Shut up, Jake." You huffed, fed up of the boy consistently trying to ruin your mood, and so you quickly followed after Jungwon, leaving Jake to watch you reunite and share giggles between each other as Jungwon handed you your drink.

The boy was brought out of his trance by the feeling of Niah linking her arm with his. He glanced down at her and instantly felt his chest pang with realization. He'd almost completely forgot about her. He had been so wrapped up with focusing on you and Jungwon, that he seemed to of forgotten about the girl he brought back from college.

The Sim boy sent her a small (guilt filled) smile, and felt his shoulders slump. All he needed was a drink.

As the night went on, you and Jungwon continued your conversation about something random before you went to get another drink. Jay, Sunghoon, and Niki had found a group of girls to try and impress, Niah ended up going back to the holiday home, telling everyone that she was sure she had sun stroke, and Jake was sat on the sand a little far from the actually rave with a cigarette between his slender fingers, staring out at the water.

A sigh fell from your lips as your eyes landed on him and millions of questions flooded through your mind. For example, how much had he had to drink?

You had known Jake for a while, and had quickly gotten to know his drunk side, and judging from the way he was right now, with his hand trembling and his eyes getting lost in whatever was before him, you gathered he was quite intoxicated.

"Hi." You quietly announced yourself once you approached the boy, who hadn't even turned his head to acknowledge your presence — which made you roll your eyes, but it was Jake, and when Jake was drunk, he didn't think...

"Shouldn't you be with your Lover boy?" The boy scoffed out as you sat down beside him and he took a long drag from the cigarette.

"Why are you being so salty about it all?" You questioned with furrowed brows. "You're acting worse than my actual brother."

And that was true. Jay didn't seem to have a problem with you and Jungwon. He wouldn't throw snarky remarks about him, nor would he send mean looks his way, so why was Jake?

"I'm not being salty," Jake shook his head, denying your words as he blew the smoke out of his mouth, your heart racing at the sight of him.

The orange glow from the sun peered down onto his sun kissed skin, and his brown eyes twinkled beneath the setting sun. He looked majestic and you found herself getting lost in him — however you were quickly pulled from the trance once the Sim boy spoke up again.

"I'm just stating facts."

Silence fell around the the two as you bit down on your bottom lip and followed the boys gaze, your eyes landing on the blue, gleaming ocean.

"Does he know you were once a nerd?" Jake asked, his words slightly slurred as he turned his head to look at you, a quiet — almost non existent chuckle — falling from his lips. Immediately, you felt her face scrunch in confusion and offense and you quickly snapped your head over in his direction.

You couldn't help but feel hurt by the boys words. What was wrong with being a 'nerd'?

Did Jake think Jungwon would change his mind about her if he knew she took her academic life seriously? What was wrong with that?

Was that why Jake never looked at you twice? Did he not like the fact you focused on your grades instead of spreading your legs for random boys at random parties?

"Why are you being such a dick for?" You disputed, shaking your head in disappointment and disbelief. "You're drunk." You sighed out, though it sounded more like you were trying to convince yourself that he was, rather than a statement.

"You've changed since college," you revealed. "The old Jake was always nice." You said, missing the times the Sim boy would never say a bad word about you and always be there to defend you.

"People change, Y/n," He sneered and you quickly felt an even bigger wave of annoyance fill your body at his attitude towards it all. The boy looked you up and down, his eyes taking in the outfit you were wearing and the light make up you had on, and the features on your face before he cocked a brow. "And you're a good example of that."

"What do you mean?" You asked, confused as to what Jake meant. How had you changed? If anyone had changed it was him, not you, so what was he talking about?

A frustrated huff left the boys parted lips and he threw his head back slightly before shaking his head and connecting his eyes with you; the two of you instantly feeling the tension between them thicken.

You felt your breathing hitch as his eyes landed on you, a pit of nerves unleashing within your stomach as you did everything you could to avoid eye contact with the older boy.

"I thought you were supposed to be brainy, huh?" Jake stated. "Or did you just lose all your intelligence when trying to be pretty?"

Your heart ached with hurt. What had gotten into him? Why was he being such a prick?

Was it the alcohol? Though, drunk words were sober thoughts, right? So if that was he thought when sober, how long had he been thinking this?

Did he not think you were pretty? Was that why he used the word 'trying'?

"Fuck off, Jake," you spat, standing up from the sand and walking away from him. "Prick." Rolling off your tongue in a hushed tone as you folded your arms across your chest and headed to the other side of the beach with a stone cold face — your best friend noticing the mood you were in and quickly following after you.

───────────

The warm, summer setting breeze blew softly through your hair, skimming your face as you and Niki sat side by side on the beach, looking out at the ocean. The sun had now set and the only source of light surrounding the beach was the fiery beam from the bonfire that everyone continued to dance around. 

An alcoholic drink was past between you and Nishimura boy as you cracked jokes every now and then; your legs brought up close to your chest as a way to find warmth in the midst of the chilly night. The two of you had been sat away from the rave for twenty minutes and neither of you had any plans of heading back just yet. You liked being in one another's company and gossiping about the party.

"Y/n," Niki began, a sly smirk on the boys lips as he turned his head to look down at you, his eyebrow cocked. "Be honest. Are you really over Jake?" He wondered and instantly, you felt your eyes enlarge slightly in shock at the unexpected question. "You can tell me." He reassured you, who let out a sigh.

"It's weird." You began, looking at him as he listened to you. "I hadn't seen him in so long... and now that I've seen him again, I guess I just feel overwhelmed." You shrugged, not quite sure if what you were saying made any sense.

"And do you really like Jungwon?"

Nodding your head quickly, a smile appeared on your lips as you turned away from looking at Niki and focused your eyes on the sea before you, biting down on your finger nail. "Originally, I was only going to focus on him as a distraction from Jake, but now I'm really starting to like him."

"So," Niki started, a mischievous grin on his lips that made you groan and rolls your eyes. You knew that look all too well. "If they were both to ask you to be their girlfriend, who would you say yes to?"

You felt your breathing hitch as the boys words travelled to your ears. Of course Niki would ask something like this — ask something that you didn’t have an answer to.

Jake was your first love, your childhood crush and you would forever hold a special place for him in your heart — no matter the mean things he'd say to you.

And Jungwon was someone new. He made you feel special, like he only had eyes for you. He was a gentleman and that was something you cherished... however, no matter how hard you thought about the Yang boy, your brothers best friend would always find a way to appear in your head.

Just as your lips parted to answer the boys question, the sound of yells coming from the bonfire caught both of your attentions and instantly made you snap your heads over to see what was going on. Multiple people were crowed around in one place, cheering and holding their phones out to capture what was unraveling.

Without another thought, you both stood from the beach (Niki leaving the once full cup of alcohol buried in the sand) and hurried over to the chaos with confusion and intrigue written across their faces.

You managed to push your way through the crowed of people, muttering apologies beneath your breath as you heard people's scoffs of annoyance.

Immediately, as soon as you got to the front of the circle, your eyes widened in shock once they landed on Jake, who was on top of another boy, punching him. He looked furious and irritated and you couldn't help but feel taken aback by the scene before you.

Jay and Sunghoon were trying to pull their friend off of the random boy — who was trying to fight back, though, due to Jake being above him and having more power over him, it was quite impossible.

Eventually, the Sim boy was yanked off of the stranger, his long sleeved, white t-shirt tearing at the collar as he ran a hand through his dark hair in pique.

Instinctively, you wrapped your hand around Jake's wrist and pulled him away from the circle to prevent him from doing anything else regretful, whilst your brother and Sunghoon spoke to the bloodied boy to find out what had happened.

"What the fuck, Jake?" You spat out once they came to a halt at the end of the beach; you dropping the boys wrist harshly. "Why would you do that?" You asked like an angry mother and all Jake could do was stay silent, looking down at you as his eyes softened.

Squinting your eyes and taking a closer look at his face, you began noticing the wounds displayed across his face. The other guy had managed to get in a punch or two because Jake's bottom lip was burst, and dripping with blood, and his right cheek bone had a slit across it, now oozing with a dark, crimson liquid.

"Answer then," you urged, folding your arms across your chest. You were becoming frustrated with the mute boy. "What are you playing at?"

"You're not my mum, y/n," Jake finally spoke up with a slightly raised voice. He too, was also frustrated. "So quit speaking to me like you are."

All you could do for a moment was scoff and roll your eyes. You were fed up of him. You didn't know what had happened to him since college, but all you knew was that you didn't like it at all.

You didn't like him speaking to you the way he did, and you didn't like his violent actions. The old Jake would never of done that...

"You need to stop being a Dickhead," you stated, looking him up and down before letting out a quiet sigh and dropping your arms to the side of your body. "Go home and clean yourself up. I'm going back to the party." You explained and began to make your way past him.

However, before you could get very far, the boy caught hold of your wrist (Just like you once had hold of his moments ago) and caused you to halt you movements.

"He was talking about you, y/n." Jake confessed. His voice was as soft and sincere as ever and it immediately made your heart warm at his tone. "He was calling you all kind of names."

A long huff fell past your plump lips as you turned around to face the boy. "Like you're any better, Jake, you were calling me a Nerd." You informed whilst your brows scrunched in confusion.

Jake sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair, slightly tugging at his roots in frustration. "That's different." He stated, instantly making your eyes widen slightly.

"How is it different?"

It was silent for a moment as you looked up at the boy, waiting for an answer to leave his lips. His eyes landed on everything but you and he bit down on his bottom lip (the side that wasn't injured).

"Because it is."

As his eyes eventually met yours, you couldn't help but feel your heart clench at his words.

Why? Why did Jake Sim have to do this to you?

Why did he have to speak in that soft voice and quickly make you go crazy for him?

Why? Whenever he spoke in that tone it always reminded you of the old Jake...

Glancing back at the party with thousands of thoughts swarming your head, you felt your shoulders slump and a quiet huff come from your parted lips as you turned to look back up at the older boy.

"Never call me a Nerd again." You spoke firmly, in a tone that was demanding before taking hold of Jake's wrist again and leading him away from the party, and taking him home.

And so, when you both made it back to the home and quietly made your way up to the bathroom, careful not to wake your parents or Niah, Jake sat himself down on top of the bathroom counter.

Silence filled the air between you and him as you tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear and kneeled down to search through the cabinets beneath the sink for the First Aid kit.

There were many thoughts swirling through your head and questions that you were asking herself, yet couldn't find an answer to were clogging her mind.

Why were you helping Jake?

Why didn't you just stay at the party with Jungwon?

Jungwon…

You had completely forgotten about him and now, as his face appeared in your head you couldn't help but feel guilty for leaving the party without telling him.

Once you had retrieved the kit from behind a load of shampoo bottles, you placed it on the side of the sink and opened the container and began getting the equipment ready.

A few glances were shared between you and Jake, however no words were spoke as you drowned a q-tip in saline solution before hesitantly turning your body to face the Sim boy — who had been watching you the entire time.

"This'll probably going to hurt a bit." You warned, your voice quiet and tone soft, and Jake nodded his head, not uttering a word as he allowed you to clean his wounds.

Gently, you brought the q-tip up to the corner of the boys lip and began to wipe it. The pressure you put on him was delicate, almost like you’d cause even more injury to him if you had pressed down harder. However, no matter the gentle approach you had, it didn't stop the wince of pain escaping Jake's mouth.

Instantly, you pulled back with your eyes slightly widened. "I'm sorry." You quickly apologized, afraid you’d hurt him more than he already was, but Jake shook his head.

"You shouldn't apologize, I should..." He started, shaking his head ever so slightly. "I'm sorry, Y/n," Jake spoke just above a whisper. "For being mean to you, I didn't mean it at all."

"I'm finding that hard to believe." You sighed, a small chuckle falling past your lips as you slumped your shoulders and you lowered your hand that held the q-tip.

The Sim boy bit down on his bottom lip and bowed his head in shame. He knew what he said hurt you, and he wanted nothing more than to take it back. He doesn't know why he said it, but all he knew was that didn't mean it.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Jake uttered out. "There's something going on with me, Y/n, and I don't know what it is." He explained and raised his head, instantly making their eyes connect.

You could feel a bubble of nerves appear in your chest as their eyes met and you felt yourself gulp whilst you quickly disconnected the eye contact and mimicked Jake's actions by lowering your head.

It felt as if your chest was pounding against your chest, uncontrollably. Jake always knew how to make you feel like this; like your heart was going to burst from your body at any given moment and you hated it. He knew how to make you feel nervous and make the butterflies in your stomach flap their wings.

Quietly, Jake reached forward and placed his hand beneath your chin and slowly raised your head so that you could look back at him. The tension between you was thick as neither of you chose to say a word — the only sound between you being the sound of your breathing.

"What do you mean?" You eventually spoke up. Your voice was as quiet as ever and laced with nerves.

What did Jake mean? Was he ill?

Jake licked his lips whilst his eyes darted from your eyes and down to your own plump lips. They lingered there for a moment, immediately making your breathing hitch and your ears tint red before his dark eyes travelled back to your eyes. It felt like Jake had put you under a spell and now you were caught within his trance.

You could feel his hand reach out and hold onto your hip, pulling you closer to him between his legs. You didn’t know what to say or do, so you remained silent. It pained you weren’t sure if you wanted this moment to end or not.

His cold fingertips brushed against the fabric of your top, gently raising the cloth so that he could curve his fingers around the waistband of your shorts.

You could not just feel a heartbeat in your chest now, but also one between your legs…

You watched as the boys lips parted, about to speak, though before he could get the chance to get any words out, the bathroom door abruptly opened, causing you to jump away from him in fright and for you both to turn your heads to see who had walked in.

"What's going on?" Your mother tiredly asked. Her eyes were half open and her hair was a mess with strands of it poking out in all kinds of directions.

"I fell over." Jake quickly answered. "And Y/n was helping me clean up." He informed the older women, who slightly nodded her head, far too exhausted to properly understand — or care.

"You both should get to bed, it's late." She stated and you agreed with your mother, hurriedly walking past her and headed to your bedroom with your heart still in her throat.

Once Jake got to the room he shared with both Jay and Sunghoon, he lazily dropped down on his bed and let out a long sigh. His mind was restless with images of you running through it.

He felt frustrated with himself. He shouldn't be thinking of Jay's younger sister in the way he does. That was his best friends sister. You were off limits. Jake Sim had a girlfriend — Niah, and yet he didn't find himself wanting to be near her all the time like he did with you.

There was something wrong with him... there had to be...

Pulling out his phone from his back pocket, the boy began scrolling through it, desperate to get his mind off of you and to get rid of his growing hard on. However, as the boys finger clicked on the contacts icon and he scrolled past Niah's name and landed on yours, he sighed.

You still up|

This was a bad idea, he thought with his bottom lip between his teeth. He couldn't do it to Jay or Niah, and so without another thought, he deleted the message and shut off his phone, groaning in frustration.

This was hell.

───────────

It had been four days since you had cleaned Jake Sim's wounds, and to say the tension between the two of you was thick would be a massive understatement.

Neither of you had spoken about that night even though it was constantly on both of your minds.

What had Jake meant by something being wrong with him?

You and Jungwon had kept in contact (you having apologized for leaving so suddenly at the party) and things were going well for you two.

Currently, you and your best friend, Niki were sitting on your bed, locked away from the gloomy weather outside. Despite it being the middle of summer — a time when the sun should be blaring all the time — the clouds still managed to turn a dull grey and swarm the once, clear blue sky, causing everyone to remain in doors.

You mindlessly drew in your sketch book whilst Niki laid beside you, dipping his hand into the family share bag of crisps every now and then as he spoke about whatever was on his mind.

Suddenly, disturbing the two best friends was a knock at your bedroom door, which immediately grabbed your attention as the mystery person walked in.

"Heeseung's inviting us over," your brother, Jay, informed you both. "And Jungwon is gonna be there." He added before quickly leaving your room so that he could put his shoes on.

The younger boy beside you nudged your arm jokingly, as he stood up from the bed, disregarding the crisp packet that was now empty and slipping his shoes on.

"Come on," Niki bobbed his head, motioning for you to move. "We're going."

And so, after arriving at Heeseung's holiday home and the group had gotten themselves comfortable in the Lee boys living room (each of them dotted on the sofa), Jungwon, Jake, Heeseung, and Niki had all decided to play a video game on the console.

"When I come back to Korea sometime, we should definitely go and get our nails done together." Niah suggested with a wide smile on her pink lips. You both had decided to sit beside one another, stating that you didn't want to get involved within the chaos of video game rage.

Nodding your head in agreement, you turned your head away from the large television and looked at the girl next to you, mirroring her smile. "That'd be nice, I could also introduce you to some of my friends, I'm sure you'd get along with them well."

Just as Niah parted her lips to add on to your suggestion, your attention was pulled away from the conversation as Jungwon turned to you, nudging your arm gently.

"Do you wanna play?" He asked, holding out the controller for you to take. You couldn't help but smile at his gesture and nod your head — even though you had no idea what to press and how to play the game.

"Do you know how to play?" Jungwon softly chuckled out once noticing your hesitation to press anything. Lifting your head up from the controller and looking at the Yang boy, an embarrassed laugh quietly passed your lips.

"Not really." You shook your head — which instantly earned knowing giggles from your best friend and Niah.

"That's okay, I'll teach you." Jungwon shrugged and inched his body closer to your body, before he placed his hands on top of yours, showing you what button and stick does what.

As Jungwon's warm breath fanned your exposed neck causing multiple goosebumps to form on your skin, you hadn't realized you were holding your breath — no, not until a gasp left your mouth in shock as your screen turned black and the words 'DECEASED' appeared in bold, red writing.

"What the hell, Jake?" Jungwon huffed out in confusion, visibly irritated with the older boy for murdering his character. "We're on the same team."

Glancing over at the raven haired boy, who had refused to look at you and Jungwon, you were quick to notice Jake's clenched jaw and his bottom lip tightly tucked between his teeth — and when the Sim boy turned his head to look over at you, the annoyance in his eyes became as obvious as ever as they met your ones.

"My bad." Jake brushed the matter off, sending a glare at Jungwon before turning back to the video game, which only made you roll your eyes.

Suddenly, the sound of thunder echoed throughout the neighborhood and lightning struck brightly in the air and rain soon began to angrily fall from the clouds. The sky had turned miserable with the dark clouds taking over the setting sun.

"So much for summer." Heeseung scoffed, running a hand through his black hair before going back to the game — however, the plans of continuing the video game was abruptly ended as the television and all of the lights in the home switched off.

"A blackout?" Jay groaned and you let out a sigh. What were you going to do now? It wasn't like you could go home because the street lights weren't working, so Jay (who'd driven in your parents' car) wouldn't be able to see clearly with not only the darkness, but also the pouring rain. It'd be dangerous.

As time passed, and conversations about what to do changed into jokes being made in the dark and then to 'horror stories with Niki', boredom soon fell upon the group as huffs were thrown about. There were no signs of the electricity being turned on as minutes soon turned to hours.

"Hey," Niki spoke up, a playful grin displayed on his lips that could be seen due to the flash from his phone being shone on his face on his lips. His tone was filled with excitement and it quickly grasped everyone's attention as you turned to look at the youngest, waiting to hear his idea.

"Let's play hide and seek."

───────────

"But I don’t want to be on." Jay stated, folding his arms across his chest as everyone gathered back in the living room.

You all had been playing for a good few hours and to say it was a good way to pass time would be an understatement. The home had been filled with laughter and screams of excitement and fright when getting caught, and now, as the sun officially set and had been replaced by the glowing moon, you were moving into the next round of (what seemed to be) a never ending game.

"Everyone but you has been on." You pointed out, annoyed at your brother for acting like a child. "Just suck it up, Jongseong and get to counting."

Jay instantly rolled his eyes at you. "Shut your mouth." He scoffed and turned around to face away from everybody, as he then began to loudly call out the numbers leading up to one hundred.

Without another thought, you had disbanded into every direction of the large home. At first, during the first few rounds, you couldn't help but struggle with finding somewhere good to hide. You didn't know your way around the house well enough, and so hiding behind curtains was the best you could do.

However, as time went on and places around the house caught your eye, it was safe to say you’d won one or two games of hide and seek.

You could hear Jay in the eighties and felt your eyes widen and your heart begin to smack against your chest, anxiously. All of your saved spots had been taken and so you were left with the closest in one of the spare bedrooms.

Huffing in frustration, there were ten seconds left until your brother would search for you and quickly, without another thought, you slid the door open and stepped inside, grateful that the closet was empty.

You stood in silence, patiently waiting for Jay to begin his hunting, and you leaned back slightly, resting your back on the wall as you caught your breath. Running around a house and laughing at the same time causing you to be at a loss of air.

Suddenly, the closet door was slid open in a hurry and for a moment, you felt your shoulders slump with defeat at the belief of being caught and so you stood up straight — however when you watched the figure shut the door behind them, your brows furrowed with confusion.

Had you not been found yet?

The wardrobe was awkwardly silent, the only sound that could be heard was your heavy breathing (which you were embarrassed about).

Who had joined you in the confined space?

"And I thought I was the smoker." They scoffed out a quiet chuckle, and instantly, your eyes widened as the familiar voice travelled to your ears.

It was Jake...

"Jake, what the hell, I was here first, get out," you swiftly broke out into a rant, your voice slightly raised which was bound to grasp Jay's attention as he roamed the corridors. And so, the Sim boy did the first thing that came to mind, shut you up.

Stepping closer to you, who was still talking at a fast and uncontrollable pace, Jake quickly placed his hand over your mouth, covering it and stopping any noise coming from you as you hid.

The action effortlessly made your eyes widened in shock and you stumbled backwards slightly, leaning your back against the wall once again. You didn't know how to feel about the situation you were currently in. It was pitch black, so you couldn't see him due to the hiders not being allowed a torch, so they were only left to their memory.

You could feel the boys minty breath hitting your skin due to your close proximity, and the longer you stayed stood in front of one another with his hand still over your mouth, the more relaxed you became — and you didn't know why.

You were supposed to be annoyed at him — annoyed at him because he rudely stopped you from speaking, and took your hiding spot. You were supposed to no longer like him. You no longer had feelings for him... you liked Jungwon, right?

You could feel your eyes soften and the once feeling of your body being tense vanished.

Despite not being able to see him, you knew he towered over you and knowing that you had to look up at him, you couldn't help but feel nervous and submissive.

Eventually, Jake slowly removed his hand from your face and placed it on the wall behind you, beside your head.

"Are you finished?" He asked, his tone as quiet as ever, and all you did was nod your head (forgetting the fact he couldn't see you).

It was now, when the only thing that could be heard was your breathing and the screams from your friends being caught, that everything you wanted to ask him came back to you.

You wanted to know what he was going to tell you the other night, before your mother interrupted you.

You wanted to know what was wrong with him and why he'd been acting the way he had.

"Jake..." you softly called out, earning a 'hm?' as a response from the said boy. Licking your lips and opening your mouth to question him, you were abruptly stopped by the lights switching back on — and it was then, that you and Jake Sim became aware of just how close you were stood.

The light from the bedroom the closest was in was piercing through the small gaps in the wardrobes wooden doors, allowing you to see one another. Your bodies were centimeters from touching, and all it would take would be one small nudge for you lips to touch due to the older boy leaning down.

Your position took them by surprise, and you couldn't help but nervously gulp as your cheeks burned red.

"I-" you went to start, though it seemed as if you would never get a chance to ask your questions because just when you built up the courage to do so, the closet door quickly slid open, immediately making you push Jake away from you, afraid that whoever opened the door would get the wrong end of the stick... or would it really just be the right end?

"Powers back on," Jungwon awkwardly stated, his lips tightly shut as he glanced between you two. "Um, Jay said your parents want you home." He informed.

Nodding your head at the Yang boy, you sent a small, guilt filled smile his way before you walked past him and hurried downstairs, wanting nothing more than to get out of the situation.

You felt awful.

───────────

Your eyes quickly sprung open in shock to the sound of your brother yelling out for you from the kitchen. You sat up in your bed and threw your blankets from your body and hurried over to your bedroom door and pulled it open, concerned as to what Jay could possibly want at ten in the morning.

"What!?" You shouted back to him, and impatiently waited for a minute or two as the older boy grew silent. "Jay, what?!" You yelled once again, your tone filled with annoyance, hoping that he'd eventually answer.

"Jungwon's outside for you." The Park boy finally told you, and quicker than ever, your eyes widened in confusion and you shut your bedroom door.

Why was Jungwon here?

Sighing to yourself, worry filled within your chest as you began to get ready — already overthinking the situation and picturing of the worse case scenario.

"Hey..." you softly spoke as you shut the front door behind you once making it downstairs. Jungwon was stood at the end of the porch steps, leaned against a post with his hands stuffed in jean pockets. He looked up at you and sent you a smile whilst you returned it and stood at the top of the steps, looking down at him.

"Hi." He spoke back, letting out a sigh as silence swarmed the two. It was suffocating and all you wanted to do was leave. It was a weird feeling you were feeling when being with Jungwon.

Before, you wanted nothing more than to be around him because he made you feel comfortable, and forget about all of your worries, yet now, you felt the complete opposite.

"Listen," The boy began, letting a pregnant pause fall between you as he looked away from you and out at the sea. "I don't think this is going to work." He revealed, turning to look back at you, who now had a brow raised in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think me and you are going to be able to more forward." He explained and as the words hit you, you felt your chest slightly ache.

Why?

"Its obvious you're meant to be with someone else..." Jungwon sadly shrugged, answering your thoughts before you had the chance to vocalize them.

"Jungwon, I don't understand," you shook your head, walking down the steps so that you were face to face with him, your brows still furrowed. "What do you mean I'm 'meant to be with someone else'?"

The boy before you kissed his teeth and ran a hand through his healthy, brown hair in frustration. "You and Jake, y/n... it's obvious, is it not?"

"No," you shook her head. "It's not obvious."

It wasn't obvious because there wasn't anything going on between you. He was just your brothers best friend... nothing more, nothing less.

You were over him, you didn't want him anymore... right?

"Well then that's something you both need to sort out." Jungwon licked his lips, shaking his head slowly as he began to take a few steps back. "I'll see you around, y/n."

You remained silent for a moment as you watched as the Yang boy walked away from you, your shoulders feeling as if they were caving in on you.

Perhaps you didn't like Jungwon as much as you thought you did?

Sighing to yourself, you ran a through your hair and turned on your heel to head back inside — however, your eyes widened slightly and you felt your breathing hitch at the sight of him, Jake Sim, standing in the doorway.

“Are you okay?" Jake's voice rang out softly as he took a step forward, closing the front door behind him. His black hair sat effortlessly on his forehead, and he was clad in a pale red, sweater that had white writing on and was split at the collar, along with a pair of blue denim jeans that had a few rips in.

If you were being honest, he looked perfect (as always). The bright glow from the sun shone down onto him, making him look even more majestic than he already was.

"What?" You questioned in surprise, you being caught off guard by his question.

"Are you okay?" Jake repeated, slowly making his way towards you with his hands in his front pockets. "I mean," He began, shrugging slightly as you looked up at him. "I saw what happened, and I know you liked him..."

Your eyebrows furrowed in ultimate confusion. It felt as if the old Jake had returned as his voice was laced with sincerity and his eyes glassy; the Jake at the start of the trip having vanished.

"Oh..." you quietly spoke, gulping as his eyes remained on you, making a volcano of nerves erupt in your stomach. "I'll be okay." You nodded your head, forming your lips into a tight line as you sighed.

If only he knew you were much more broken about him, rather than Jungwon...

"Come," The boy instructed as he headed towards Jay's car with the keys in his hand. You hadn't even noticed them in his clutch. "I wanna take you somewhere."

Confused and shocked, your eyebrow raised slightly in suspicion as you followed after him. "Did Jay even allow you to use his car?" You wondered, a breathy chuckle falling from your lips, (knowing how protective your brother was over his most prized possession) as Jake opened the passenger door for you.

"He's my best friend, Y/n," Jake pointed out the obvious. "Of course he'll allow me — and he thinks I'm going to the shop to get snacks." He grinned, which only made you mirror his expression and get into the car (your chest filled with curiosity).

As the Sim boy got into the seat beside you and started the car, you couldn't help but feel nervous as you watched as one of his hands steered the wheel and the other occasionally rested on the side by the rolled down window, or lingered on the gear stick. His eyes remained on the road in a concentrated manner, and his lip was often found between his teeth.

You could almost hear the blood pumping through your body as your cheeks heated; visions of last nights hide and seek game returning to you. You remembered how his warm breath fanned your face, causing goosebumps to decorate your skin, and how he laid his hand on your mouth, preventing you from getting them caught. You remembered how his taller figure almost pressed against your smaller one, and how your lips were oh so close to touching —

You hadn't even realize the car had come to a halt until your door was opened, instantly snatching you from your long train of memories.

Once you stepped out of the vehicle, and the instant wave of heat hit your in the face, your eyes landed on a boardwalk with many different stalls on, and below the boardwalk was a beach that had a few people sunbathing on whilst others shopped at the mini stands, buying all sorts of souvenirs.

"Come on," Jake chuckled at your shocked expression, walking towards the walkway. You couldn't help but smile and follow after him. You’d only been here a few times with your family, so now you were here with just Jake, you were more than excited.

However, reality sunk in as you both started looking at the different key rings on a stall and you couldn't help but sigh heavily.

Why was Jake doing this? He had a girlfriend, so why was he taking you out and buying you things like he was more than just your brothers best friend?

"Do you like these?" Jake wondered, holding up a pair of sunglasses to his face and posing, which only made you laugh at his silly behavior. Your heart was pounding and it felt as if it was about to burst from your rib cage. The reason for you liking Jake Sim in the first place was returning and you didn't know what to do or how to control your feelings...

"I love them, Jake." You chuckled and he grinned back, revealing his gummy smile as he turned to the lady to pay.

You shouldn't be here.

You and Jungwon had just ended whatever was going on between you, and Jake had something going with Niah...

It was meant to feel wrong, yet it felt so right.

A little while later, after a few hours of shopping, both of your feet were beginning to ache from walking around so much, and sweat was dripping from your foreheads, so you decided to stop at an ice cream parlor to cool down.

"Do you think Jay's mad?" You wondered after taking a bite from your Caramel flavored Ice Cream, making Jake look up from his cup of Ice Cream, shaking his head slightly.

"I'm taking his sister out, I have a good explanation." Jake chuckled, the image of an angry Jay appearing in his head — along with the thought of you now being single...

He no longer had to worry about you with some other guy that wasn't him.

He no longer had to feel jealous when seeing you with someone other than him.

Silence fell upon them for a moment as you enjoyed your food, finally being able to feel a sense of coolness well within your bodies. It was relaxing as you enjoyed one another's company — though, the silence was short lived as you felt a question threatening to fall from your tongue.

"Jake," you began, licking your lips nervously. There were many things that were playing on your mind ever since you sat in your brothers car. "Did you hear everything Jungwon said?" You wondered, hoping he hadn't heard the Yang boy insinuate things between you and Jake.

Jake paused for a second, thinking back to earlier when he eavesdropped on you and Jungwon — quite easily remembering the confusion in your voice as you questioned Jungwon, and Jungwon's explanation.

The boy bit his bottom lip before shaking his head.

"No, I only watched him walk away," He lied, shrugging his shoulders, not telling you the truth. "I guess I gathered the conversation wasn't good by your guys' facial expressions." He explained and you nodded your head slightly, hesitantly believing him as they went on to finish their Ice Cream.

───────────

"Jake, what the hell! Don't soak me!" You screamed as you hurriedly ran away from the Sim boy, who was chasing after you in the shallow water of the Sea, desperately trying to wet you.

After finishing your cold snack, you both decided to head down to the beach. You’d only planned on sitting on the sand for a little while, however with Jake's complaining about how hot the weather was, he ended up rolling his jeans up and forcing you to go in with him.

Laughter accentuated from you both as droplets of water fell from Jake's raven hair, and you did everything you could to not get wet.

"I said I don't want to get wet!" You yelled at him, though the boy took no notice of your words and quickly splashed the salty water onto you, instantly making you bring your arms up to cover your face as your clothes dampened.

It was quiet for a while as Jake waited for a reaction to spring from you, him doing everything he could to not break out in hysterics. You let out a small huff before quickly splashing him back.

There was no way you were going to allow him to soak you and not be able to do it back.

A little while later, once both you and Jake grew tired of messing around in the water, you sat yourselves down on the sand to dry off; you looking out at the beautiful ocean and Jake pulling out a cigarette beside you.

Glancing over at him with the stick between his lips, about to light it, you couldn't help but sigh in disapproval. You’d always been against smoking when growing up, knowing the causes it had, so when you witnessed Jake, one of the boys (besides your brother and father and best friend) you cared for most following through with those actions, you felt worried.

"I don't like it when you smoke." You spoke up, turning your head to face him as he blew out a drag of the acrid air.

Jake, slightly caught off guard, turned to look at you as he pulled the cigarette from his lips and held it between his fingers and away from you.

"Why?" He lowly asked, subconsciously allowing his eyes to fall down to your lips, which only made your breathing quiver.

"Because it's bad for you." You stated, attempting to swallow the nerve-filled lump in your throat as his face leaned slightly closer to yours. "You're basically just killing yourself — Do you know how much—"

A small laugh escaped Jake's mouth, cutting you off as he nodded his head slightly, moving his eyes back to your own eyes.

"Okay." He nodded, smoothly putting out the cigarette. "I'll stop." He announced, quietly.

"What?" You questioned, taken back by his actions. "That easy?"

"Yeah," Jake bobbed his head. "If you want me to stop, y/n, I'll stop," He explained, narrowing his attention back to your plump lips as he licked his own.

"Just for you." He spoke just above a whisper, the air around them instantly feeling thick and suffocating, and yet all you wanted to do was drown in it.

Gulping once again, you could feel your body become numb and your mouth become dry as you watched as Jake slowly started to lean in; his attention dancing between your lips and eyes.

You didn't know what to do.

You wanted to kiss him so bad.

You wanted to finally give in to her four year crush and plant your lips on his and allow him to have his way with you, however there was still Jay and Niah.

You couldn't do that to them...

"Y/n," Jake began, traces of nervousness in his voice as he slowly brought his hand up and delicately held the side of her face, setting off millions of butterflies in your stomach.

There was a pregnant pause as you waited for Jake Sim to finish his sentence. You could hear your breathing quicken and your heart pick up its pace as his warm hand held your face, you wanting nothing more than to lean into his touch,

"Can I kiss you?"

"Jake..." You breathed out, gulping nervously as your eyes diverted down to his red, plump lips that were only centimeters away from touching your own.

You could feel your heartbeat beating throughout your body, and ill thoughts of you and Jake sprouting in your mind; scenes of what might possibly happen if you allowed his lips to touch yours.

And you wanted to allow him — so badly...

You wanted to fulfill your dreams of kissing the boy you’ve liked for years. You wanted to give in to the temptations, you really did...

However, the images of your brother and Niah appeared in your head, clogging your thoughts and a stream of guilt ran through your body, turning you cold.

You couldn't do that to them...

"We can't." You shook your head, your accent meek as you hesitantly turned to look away from him — your heart painfully aching in your chest.

As much as you wanted to kiss Jake Sim, not wanting to hurt anybody was far more important to you rather than your happiness.

Jake remained silent as he nodded his head, his eyes landing on the ocean before him as he licked his lips.

"My brother, Jake," you reminded the boy beside you, your attention landing back on him. "And Niah, you're girlfriend... We just can't... I don't want to hurt them."

"I understand, Y/n," Jake reassured, running a hand through his hair as he stood up from the sand. "Now come on," He grinned, ignoring the odd feeling in his stomach. "I'm pretty sure Jay is gonna get suspicious." He chuckled.

You stifled out a laugh as you agreed and stood up, trailing behind him with a heavy heart as he headed towards the car.

You couldn't believe what had happened.

Once both you and Jake arrived back at the holiday home after buying snacks from the convenience store and a long, silent journey home, you both parted ways: Jake heading to the living room to play video games, where he received Jay's rant about how long he took, and you hurried up to your bedroom, shutting your door behind you and laying yourself across your mattress.

Images of Jake flashing through your head as you shut your eyes, a long sigh escaping your lips.

You could only wonder what would of happened if you allowed him to kiss you... you could only imagine the feeling of his warm lips against yours and what would of played out if your innocent acts escalated and turned sinful — and so, as your thoughts trailed, and your fingers subconsciously brushed against your parted lips, you felt her chest heave and your cheeks turn red with fluster.

The only sound you could hear were the yells of Jay, Jake, Sunghoon and Niki downstairs as they played their game, and your mother and fathers mumbled conversation from outside seeping through your slightly ajar window. It was enough to send you into a slumber as Jake Sim's face took over everything.

Later that night, everybody was sat around the family table, eating the food yours and Jay's parents provided. There were brief conversations taking place between Jay, his father, Niki and Sunghoon about the latest Football scores, and Niah and your mother chit-chatting about their split ends.

Though, you and Jake sat in silence with you resting your head on your palm as you mindlessly played with the food on your plate, glancing up at Jake before you every now and then — who refused to look at you, as he kept his eyes plastered on the dish.

Ever since you’d awoken from your nap a few hours ago, Jake had done everything he could to avoid you.

When you entered the kitchen to get yourself a glass of orange juice, he was quick to exit, telling Sunghoon he had to 'drop the kids off at the pool', completely disregarding your presence.

After that, when everyone (minus your parents) were gathered in the living room, watching old movies, you had joined a little later, sitting next to Jake as it was the only available seat — though the Sim boy was quick to stand and move to sit on the uncomfortable, wooden floor (where he later moaned about having a numb bum).

His sudden change angered you. You couldn't seem to understand why he was avoiding you and acting as if you were the one that asked him to kiss you.

And so, as dinner continued and more small talk was made, you couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, annoyed, and saddened — and it seemed that your mother was quick to pick up on your low mood.

"Y/n, help me clean the plates, will you?" Your mum asked with a sweet smile on her lips, making it hard for you to decline.

"What's going on?" Jihye (your mother) questioned, glancing at you as she scrubbed the plates clean.

"What do you mean?" You asked, playing off your current emotions with a confused smile. You were never good at expressing your emotions, especially to your parents, so the situation you were currently in made your body shrivel with embarrassment and uncomfortableness.

"Don't play dumb, y/n," your mother warned, handing you a dish to dry. "You're my baby girl, I know when something's up, now come on, tell me."

Shaking your head and releasing a breathy chuckle, you sighed. "There's nothing wrong, Mum, trust me."

"So if there's nothing wrong, why are you and Jake avoiding each other like an old married couple?"

Instantly, your eyes widened in shock which only made your mother laugh and shake her head. "Honestly, y/n, you're both acting like you've had a massive row. Have you?"

"No..." you denied, feeling your shoulders slump. To be honest, you didn't completely know. Were you having a argument with Jake? And if so, what over?

"That doesn't sound too convincing." Jihye hissed, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes down at you, who threw your head back and released a groan.

"I feel awful." You bluntly stated, looking up at your mother, whose brows creased in confusion.

"Why's that?"

"Because..." you took a deep breath in, preparing yourself for what you were about to reveal. Never in your life had you revealed your deepest secret to anyone in your family. You were always afraid of their reaction, worried they'd tell Jay, or degrade you for liking your older brothers best friend.

"I think I'm in love with Jake — and I know I shouldn't be because he's Jay's best friend, and Jay's warned me about liking any of his friends and he has a girlfriend, but I can't help it, Mum, I really can't." You began, and as you ranted, you couldn't help but notice your shoulders begin to feel lighter — as if a ton of bricks had been pulled from you.

"I've tried to move on, but he's always there and it's so annoying," you breathed out, your tone filled with pain and pent up frustration. "And one minute he's acting like he likes me too, and the next he's avoiding me like I've insulted him. I hate it, Mum, I hate it so much."

Without another word, your mother pulled you in for a hug, wanting nothing more than to take your worries and pain from you.

"I don't know how to handle it anymore, Mum." You whispered into your mothers hair as you wrapped your arms around the older woman's waist.

"It'll get easier, y/n, I promise." Jihye reassured, pulling back to look down at you. "He's a boy — they can be immature creatures at times, trust me. You need to be straightforward with him and pull him up on his behavior. As much as I love him like he's my own, he shouldn't treat you the way he has."

You remained silent, listening to your mothers words and nodding your head in agreement. She was right after all. You needed to confront Jake Sim immediately. He shouldn't get to treat you how he likes.

"You're right." You stated, and Jihye grinned.

"See," She playfully nudged you. "I said I could sense something was up." She chuckled. "Now, find the right time to talk to him about it — and if I was you, I'd make sure you explain it in a way to make sure he understands. Boys can be quite dense at times." She shrugged, which only made a laugh pass your lips as you nodded once again, before continuing to dry the dishes.

You were going to take your mothers advice and do as said as soon as possible.

───────────

Aa the glowing moon overtook the once blazing sun, you sat silently on the ledge of the pool with your legs submerged in the cool, chlorine water; your mothers words continuing to spiral in your head.

Everyone had either gone up to their rooms to hang around, or were fast asleep, so the only noise that you could hear were the crickets in the distance as you focused your attention on your legs that were swaying in the water — the nap you’d taken earlier causing you not to feel tired.

"Hi." You heard his voice quietly and softly announce, making you fall away from your thoughts and look over to the sliding doors that Jake Sim was closing behind him. Immediately, your brows furrowed in anger and a scoff left your lips.

Hi? Was he stupid?

"What?" You harshly asked, refusing to look up at him. You were fed up of his bullshit.

"Y/n—" Jake began, as he headed over to you, however before he could get any other words out, you put a halt to his actions.

"No," you shook your head, looking up at him, a scowl present on your face. "You don't get to come out here and sweet talk me into making me forget how you were with me this evening." You stated rather harshly. "I can't deal with it anymore, Jake. I'm not some doll you can mess around with. I'm human too, I have feelings, you know?" You huffed, turning to look away from the boy who stood with his hands deep in his jean pockets.

"Y/n, let me explain—" He attempted to start, though you shook your head once again, licking your lips. You no longer cared. You were going to take your mothers advice and explain everything.

"Shut up, Jake," you ordered, catching him off guard. "You can't keep treating me like I'm a piece of gum — one minute you're all for me, and then the next you're acting like I'm just on the bottom of your shoe. I'm fed up. I've had enough. I'm not a kid anymore, so quit treating me like shit." You firmly stated as you stood up, getting your legs out of the pool and standing face to face with the older boy.

It was now or never.

"I like you, Jake, so much and I have for a long time, but you're my brothers best friend — you have a girlfriend, and you're mean to me for no reason, and I just have to deal with it. Do you know how hard that is for me?—"

"Do you know how hard it is for me?" Jake cut you off, pointing to himself as he let out a breathy chuckle, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek as he glanced away from you, who was now confused more than ever. What was he talking about?

"You're my best friends baby sister, I shouldn't like you, but I can't help it, Y/n." He revealed, which instantly made your eyes widen at his confession. "I feel so guilty for feeling the way I do towards you because I'm betraying Jay — You know, I promised him at the start of our friendship that I wouldn't look at you in such a way, but I just can't help it, y/n, you do things to me that I can't explain."

Silence fell upon you both as neither of you knew what to say. The tension was thicker than it had ever been, and currently, all you wanted to do was latch your hands on one another — but you knew you couldn't.

Taking a gulp and a small sigh, you slightly shook your head, confusion taken over your facial expression.

"So why treat me the way you have? I don't get you. You make me feel special for a second, and the next you're making me feel like I've done something to you."

You watched as Jake ran a frustrated hand through his hair and parted his plump lips. "Because you have, Y/n," He started, pausing for a split second to gather his words before continuing.

"I've never felt this way before. I thought at first it was just some stupid little crush on my best friends younger sister, but it just continued to grow bigger and I couldn't handle it. I felt guilty. So I thought the best way to get over you was just to get with a load of girls—"

"And become a man whore?" You questioned, which only made Jake send a glare at you before continuing his explanation.

"That obviously didn't work — but when I moved to Australia for College, I thought I finally forgot about my feelings for you. I believed I was finally over you, that's why I got with Niah, but coming here and seeing you again made realize I was wrong, y/n — so wrong. It wasn't like I could just go back to my old ways and sleep around, so I thought it'd just be best to push you away—"

"On days you felt like it?" You interrogated, raising your brow which only made Jake huff.

"Y/n, I'm sorry." He apologized, stepping towards you, hoping you wouldn't move away from him — and you didn't.

You allowed him to stand closer to you.

She allowed him to stand closer to her.

She allowed him to gently take hold of the sides of her face.

She allowed him to raise her lowered head.

She allowed him to caress her cheeks with his thumbs.

She allowed their eyes to meet, and she allowed her heart to flutter.

"I'm so sorry," Jake said just above a whisper, his eyes never leaving yours. "I don't know what to do. I've never felt this way about someone like I do with you."

Your breathing hitched at the boys words and you felt your cheeks heat up. This was all you wanted. You finally had the boy you’ve liked — the boy you’ve fallen in love with — confessing his feelings to you and all you wanted to do was kiss him.

"Jake," you just about managed to get out, her throat feeling tight and her chest feeling heavy with emotion. The tension between them was suffocating as they both stood in the back garden, the glow from the pool shining onto them, both of their intentions being the same.

"I—" you started, however the sound of the sliding doors abruptly shutting was heard, quickly causing both of your heads to snap over in the direction of it, worry and confusion pumping through both of your veins.

Had someone been listening?

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Waking up the next day, Jake Sim felt different — in a good and bad way. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders now that he had realized he still felt the same way he always had for you, and confessed his feelings to you, yet the remaining thought of Jay and Niah was still evident in the back of his mind.

He knew he'd end up hurting Jay if he ever found out about the way Jake felt towards his younger sister, but he couldn't help it. The feelings he felt for you were far too strong for him to keep to himself any longer — it'd end up killing him.

Jake Sim also knew he would have to speak to Niah before it was too late. He couldn't continue to lead her on, making her believe he loved her when in reality, he didn't, she was just a distraction.

It was wrong, he knew that, and so as he threw his covers from his body, sending a 'Goodmorning' nod to Sunghoon, who was busy drying his hair in the mirror (Jay already having got up hours before everyone else), Jake stood up.

A yawn fell from his lips and he stretched his body slightly, desperately trying to escape the early morning fatigue — however, if his stretching wasn't enough to wake him, the note on the bed side table with his name on sure was.

His brows creased with confusion and he sent a quick glance over to Sunghoon to see if he had any idea on what the mysterious note was, though the Park boy shook his head and turned the hair dryer off.

Jake picked up the note, sitting on the edge of his bed to open it up, curiosity welling up in his veins as his eyes landed on each and every word.

To: Jake,

By the time you end up reading this, I would've left. The time I spent at the Parks holiday home was truly a one of a kind experience, and I'll forever be grateful to you for introducing me to Mr & Mrs Park, and of course, y/n. I like y/n, she's cute and any guy would be an idiot not to realize his feelings for her (p.s, you're the idiot !!)

I knew the minute she stepped out of her parents car on the first day of summer that there was something going on. I mean, if you're constant staring at her didn't tell me, then your overprotectiveness was just a slap in the face — and then when I overheard your guys' conversation by the pool last night, it really gave me clarity. I no longer felt like a toxic girlfriend that was overlooking every interaction you both had.

So, no hard feelings, yeah? We're still going to remain friends, right? I wanna know all the updates between you and y/n (good luck with Jay!!)

P.S: tell y/n that she MUST come visit Australia so that we can get our nails done together!!

- Niah

A heavy breath left Jake's mouth as he stayed silent, staring down at the letter. He didn't know how to feel. He was shocked at the way Niah handled the situation, knowing most girls he'd been with in the past would of gone a-wall. If anything, Niah's reaction made him respect the girl even more.

And so, as Jake folded the note back up and stood, he exited the bedroom, preparing himself for the questions he would be asked about Niah's disappearance.

"So, she just left?" Jay questioned as he spooned a load of scrambled eggs onto his plate. Everybody had decided to sit outside on the bench to enjoy the breakfast both Jay and your parents had prepared considering it was a beautiful day and coming up to their final days at the holiday home.

You watched as Jake nodded his head, the boy and you stealing glances at one another every now and then as he was sat opposite you on the bench.

"Yeah," He began, slowly dragging his eyes away from you. "She told me she was feeling homesick and that our relationship wasn't working." He shrugged and as his story hit your ears, you couldn't help but think back to last night.

Was Niah really homesick? Or had she heard yours and Jake's conversation late last night?

"Sorry to hear that, Jake." Your father sympathized with the younger boy, sending him a tight lipped smile.

The breakfast continued peacefully, with small talk taking place from all ends of the bench, however just like yesterday, you and Jake stayed silent; last nights events still playing out in your heads.

You had finally revealed how you felt about one another, so now what?

"Why don't you lot head down to the theme park?" Mrs Park suggested as she finished her plate of food, grasping everybody's attention. "You haven't been there yet, and the holiday is almost over. I heard it's better than it was last year." She wiggled her eyebrows, intriguingly.

Instantly, your eyes widened slightly at the thought of visiting the theme park and many memories flooded your head. It was almost every year (since you were six) you’d gone there and had fun, so it was only right to go this year round. You’d always been sucker for the rides (which you loved forcing Jay to go on) and the headbands.

And so, just when you thought the day would be filled with overthinking and a lack of communication from Jake, your plans were quickly changed because now, you were sat in the back of your brothers car between Jake and Sunghoon.

And so, if it wasn’t for asking Sunghoon to roll down his window, then you would've become a pool of water by the time you could arrive at the theme park.

You didn't think sitting next to Jake Sim would be so difficult, yet there you were, sat beside the older boy trying to contain your ragged breathing as your thighs lightly brushed against each others.

You weren’t sure if your outburst of nerves was due to the fact you hadn't spoken properly since your mutual confession, or because your bodies were squished so closely together due to Sunghoon obnoxiously manspreading.

You hated that you could feel the sweat dripping down the back of your neck — even after having the cool air blow into the car. You tried to focus your thoughts on other things, like listening to your brother and best friend singing their hearts out to a song that was playing on the radio, or thinking about the first ride you’d go on once arriving (if you even made it).

Quietly, it felt as if your thoughts were eating you up. The nonstop voice in your head telling you to just turn your head and see what Jake was doing was almost deafening. A part of you wanted to. You wanted to see what was occupying him during the long, tension-filled car ride, however another part of you didn't; afraid you’d catch eyes or your stomach would erupt in butterflies and make you puke all over the boy.

You ended up going with the latter, and just chose to imagine what he was doing instead — after all, that would be better than throwing your breakfast up on him...

Once you had all eventually arrived, you were quicker than ever to climb out of the car. You could hear the screams and cheers from other people at the amusement park, and the sound of the metal wheels on a cart gliding against the metal railways filled your ears.

A bubble of excitement grew in the pit of your stomach as you glanced over at Niki, who'd already been looking at you, and you both shared the same look of excitement before hurrying over to the entrance, leaving Jay and the other older boys to sort out the payments.

"I haven't been here in so long!" You beamed, your eyes jumping from one ride to the next. "We should go on the 'Hulker Sulker'," you informed your best friend, who eagerly nodded. "That one is so fast!"

"Y/n!" You heard your brother call out for you, instantly making you impatiently turn around. "Sunghoon doesn't want to go on the 'Hulker Sulker', so I'll stay off with him. You, Niki and Jake go on, and please be careful."

Far to excited to care that you’d have to sit next to Jake again, you rolled your eyes at your brother's protectiveness and bobbed your head in understanding before hurrying over to the long (thirty minute) queue.

As the day went on and you lead the boys from one ride to the next, and sat down for a quick lunch before being ushered up again due to a ride that caught your eye, the four boys tiredly stood in front of you, running a hand through their hair whilst yawning and groaning about their aching legs — even Niki, the boy that would constantly match your high energy had become exhausted.

"None of you want to go on with me?" You questioned, your expression filled with shock. It wasn't usual they got tired this easily, however it was expected due to the beaming rays of sun that constantly peered down on them.

The four boys sent a few glances between one another. A look as if to say 'who wants to suck it up and go on?' and all you could do was huff.

"You don't have to come on, don't worry." You chuckled. "I can just ride it on my own." You shrugged and turned on your heel, about to walk away and to join the already long queue.

"Wait," you heard a voice call out to you, which only made a slight smirk form on your face as you then turned around to see who would accompany you on the pirate ship.

Instantly, as your eyes landed on the familiar set of dark, brown eyes and the dark lock of hair that sat on his head, you felt your heart pound against your chest.

How were you going to survive an hour long queue with Jake Sim?

"I'll come on with you." He stated and they began walking to the entrance, you still shocked.

"Are you sure?" You questioned, hesitantly glancing back to the other three boys before looking up at Jake, who nodded and shrugged his shoulders, shoving his hands in his denim jean pockets.

"Yeah, I like the Pirate Ship," He revealed with a playful grin. "It's a childhood favorite." Jake slightly nudged you, softly, making you let out a chuckle as you both stood behind a group of people.

Silence overtook you two. It wasn't comfortable, nor was it uncomfortable. It was just silence.

You found yourself being occupied by one of the fake plants the park had used to decorate the waiting area, and Jake was busy kicking a pebble on the floor and habitually biting his lip.

"Are you having fun?" The boy wondered, moving his attention away from the small stone and over to you, who had now whipped your head over in his direction and nodded.

"Of course, there's never been a time where I haven't had fun at the theme park." You grinned, ignoring the memory of ten year old Jay puking all over your hair as you went down a slope in a ride.

"Cute." You heard Jake mumble beneath his breath whilst he allowed his eyes to linger on you for a little longer, before the line moved. You could feel your cheeks burning and your stomach flutter and sweat trail down her body.

The things he made you feel...

Memories of the breakfast you had earlier appeared in your head and you quite quickly remembered the abrupt news you were told by Jake about Niah's departure. You couldn't help but wonder if Niah being 'homesick' was the real issue and you desperately wanted to ask the boy beside you and find out the truth, however you didn't want to ruin the mood.

Gradually, the line had begun moving a lot more frequently which only made the two of you happy and even more thrilled to ride the Pirate ship ride that was a fan favorite — however, just as you made it to the front of line, desperate to climb onto the mechanical device, the metal chain dividing the areas was placed in front of them.

"Sorry, the tanks to operate the ride need to be checked." One of the workers (who looked no older than sixteen) informed the pair, earning a groan in response from you. "The wait will be a little over forty-five minutes, thank you for waiting and sincere apologies." The boy sloppily spoke, clearly not too pleased about being where he was.

Jake nodded his head in understanding and soon after, the worker disappeared the sit on the stool whilst the ride was being looked at.

You watched from afar, worry welling up in your chest as many gruesome thoughts flooded your head. What if the ride broke down during the time you were on it? What if it exploded? What if you all died? What if some 'Final Destination' stuff occurred? Or what if —

"Hey, y/n," you heard Jake's soft voice cut you from your trail of thoughts, immediately making you look up from the floor and drop the hand you were biting your nails on to the side of your body. "Don't worry," He reassured, sending you his signature smile that no doubt made your stomach swirl. "They're fixing it, they wouldn't let us go on if it wasn't safe."

You nodded your head slightly, his words only adjusting your thoughts slightly. Despite your love for fast rides and going upside down and screaming your lungs out, there was no doubt that you were continuously anxious about the whole ordeal. Just the mere thought of dying on a roller coaster turned your warm blood, cold and made you break into an icy sweat.

As time went on and the sun continued to shine down on everyone, you couldn't help but begin to grow tired (just like everyone else). The bright ball of fire in the sky was draining you and causing your t-shirt to stick to your back, uncomfortably. It didn't help that where you were lined up had nowhere to sit, so you couldn't relax your legs and shut your eyes for a little while — which annoyed you.

A yawn escaped your mouth and you released a long sigh, bowing your head ever so slightly and closing your eyes. You had only planned to be in that position for a little over five minutes, however as time went on and your legs became numb and your breathing got heavier, you found herself unknowingly drifting off.

Jake, who stood in front of you, leaning against the small, waist high wall behind him had a smile plastered across his lips as he watched as you lowered your head. It truly was a sight for sore eyes and without another word, he stood up properly and gently tugged you forward by your hip, allowing your head to rest against his chest.

He too, was exhausted, though he wasn't going to allow you to end up falling flat on your face whilst he attempted to relax his eyes. An even wider smile grew on his plump (bitten) lips as you instinctively wrapped your arms around his slim waist, nuzzling your head into him to become more comfortable.

You stayed like that for a while, with Jake gently and subconsciously tapping his finger on your back. Even though from afar the position they were in might of looked uncomfortable, you and Jake were far from it — and that's all that mattered.

Finally, after almost another hour long wait, the worker returned, informing everybody that the ride was safe to go on. A few cheers were heard here and there, and nervously, (after you had awoken from your quick slumber) you stepped forward and hesitantly made your way towards the ship.

Was it too late to back out yet?

Reassuringly, you felt Jake's smooth hand slip into your smaller one and he lead you to the back row of seats. You could hear him encouraging you the whole time (which did work a little), and just as the ride counted down from three to begin, you squeezed the older boys hand as a way of telling him not to let go — which he had no plans on doing so.

It had been a few hours since then, and after escaping the amusement park and getting into Jay's car to begin your journey home, silence immediately erupted in the vehicle and the soft noise of the radio seeped through the speakers, creating a relaxing car ride.

Once again, you were sat in the middle between a sleeping Sunghoon, and Jake, who was busy scrolling through his phone. You could feel your eyes grow heavier by the minute and exhaustion fill your veins — just like it did earlier — as your head slowly began to drop, unable to stay conscious.

A sigh left your lips as you raised your head and turned to look out the window. You refused to fall asleep in the car, knowing that the many times you’d done it before always resulted in horrendous neck pain. You weren’t going to put yourself through that and decided to wait until you were in the comfort of your bedsheets to shut your aching eyes.

"Y/n," you heard Jake quietly call out to you; his voice was just above a whisper and almost nonexistent, and if you hadn't been sat next to him, you definitely wouldn't of heard him.

His eyes slowly trailed over your profile, taking in every feature and blemish that decorated your face so perfectly. In his eyes (and he was sure everyone else's too) you were perfect — and when his eyes eventually landed on your pink, plump lips, he felt his throat tighten.

"Here." He bluntly spoke, nudging his shoulder out to you before looking away, afraid you’d spot the blush creeping on his cheeks.

You sat in shock. You hadn't expected him to offer his shoulder to you — you were even overthinking his gesture, wondering if what you thought he meant really was what he was implying.

And so, nervously, you moved your head and gently laid it against the boys t-shirt clad shoulder. At first, it was uncomfortable. You could feel his bones digging into your temple which only made you grimace, however after adjusting your position so that you could lean on him more, he soon became a good enough pillow.

It wasn't long until Jake followed after you, his head bobbing low until it soon fell onto yours, subconsciously. His lips were slightly parted as he nuzzled his head against yours, desperate for comfort (which eventually came) — and due to the two of you being unconscious and in total bliss, Jay's confused eyes that were glaring through the rear view mirror went completely unnoticed as soft snores left both yours and Jake's mouths.

───────────

A little while later, once arriving home and you and Niki having quickly made your way up to your room and hurriedly tangled your limbs with one another, you both drifting off into a deeper (and much more comfortable) sleep.

It wasn't until the sun had completely set that you woke up again, quietly sitting up in your bed, desperately trying not to awake the sleeping boy beside you as you removed his leg from your waist.

It seemed that the exhaustion had decided to finally exit your body, and so now you were now full of energy — and had no idea what to do with it. You were sure everybody else in the house was fast asleep, so it wasn't like you could wake anyone up so that they could entertain you.

Sighing to yourself, you stood and made your way to your chest of drawers, where you then began searching for her bathing suit.

It wasn't often that you tended to go for a night swim in the families pool; your fathers constant reminder that 'You could drown and we wouldn't know until we see you at the bottom of the pool the next morning' ringing through your mind, however you were bored and were in desperate need for fun.

Once changing and grabbing yourself a towel, you were immediately hit with the humid air as soon as you set foot outside, quietly shutting the sliding doors behind you. As usual, the pool glowed yellow and had soft, delicate waves in it, creating a soothing noise as they bounced off of one another.

Dropping your towel to the floor, a smile appeared on your lips as sat on the ledge with your feet dangling in the water. It was moments like this that made you realize how grateful you were for the holiday home your parents bought sixteen years ago — and it was moments like this, that needed ruining by a certain boy who'd messed with your heart far too many times.

"Can I join?" Jake Sim's voice seemed louder than it actually was due to everything being silent. His abrupt disruption made you jump ever so slightly in shock and you instantly felt your heartbeat begin to get faster as he headed towards you, wearing nothing but swimming shorts and a white towel hanging from one shoulder.

You’d seen Jake's bare chest multiple times, though now it felt different. The situation felt a lot more intimate with just the two of you by the pool late at night (practically half naked).

It felt suffocating.

"I don't mind." You nervously shook your head, your voice as quiet as ever, which only made you mentally curse yourself and roll your eyes. Why did your voice have to show how you were feeling?

The Sim boy didn't utter a word. All he did was set his towel down beside your one and immediately jumped into the pool without warning, creating a splash of water to hit you, making a gasp fall from your parted lips.

"Jake!" You whisper yelled, your eyes quickly darting over to the closed back door, afraid your parents — or worse, your brother — would hear you. "Be quiet." You ordered in a hushed tone once the boy had risen from the water, slicking his soaked hair back.

"My bad." He chuckled and licked his lips with a mischievous grin displaying on his face.

"What's your problem?" You questioned, breaking the silence you sat in. It had been almost fifteen minutes since Jake had joined you on your 'late night swim' (you’d yet to get in the pool) and all the boy had done besides splashing you, was glue his eyes to you.

You couldn't understand why he wouldn't stop staring, but for whatever reason it was, you wanted him to stop. He made your stomach swirl with anxiety; fearing you had something on your face, or he was beginning to regret ever confessing to you that night.

"What do you mean?" Jake wondered, cocking his brow and turning his head slightly as a smirk appeared on his lips. He knew exactly what he was doing and he was loving the reaction he was getting.

"You keep staring," you firmly stated. "Stop it."

"Or what?" He urged, slowly beginning to make his way over to you from the other side of the pool. "Am I not allowed to look at you? You're more than pretty, it's hard not to stare."

Instantly, as the words processed in your head, you felt your cheeks burn brighter than a tomato and your breathing hitch as he soon arrived in front of you — his hands directly coming to rest on either side of your legs as he looked at you.

You didn't know where to look. The last time your faces were this close was when you were in the wardrobe together and that was in the dark.

So now, with the lights from the pool reflecting onto Jake's face and highlighting his pretty features, you couldn't help but shy away.

Desperately trying to escape the thick tension, you sucked in a breath and allowed your eyes to move away from his and down to the necklace that was hanging around his neck. It was simple, yet alluring. The silver chain was thin and hanging from it was a small, circular pendant that had the initials SJY engraved on.

"I like you're necklace, do you really need reminding what your initials are?" You complimented and joked (to break the tension) just above a whisper, and as the words left your mouth, Jake's one hand reached up to to the jewelry and his other moved to hold your chin, gently, and raised your head so that you could look him, a breathy chuckle falling from his lips.

"Do you want it?" He asked, his tone more sincere than you’d ever heard it be before and that only caused your eyes to widen in surprise.

"What?" You breathed out. "Jake—"

"I'm serious, y/n," And he was and you knew that, which was why it made butterflies violently flap their wings in your stomach. "You can have it." Jake spoke as he unclasped the clasp once letting go of your face.

"Are you sure?" You asked, and only received your answer as the boy attached the necklace around your neck, allowing it to fall just above your cleavage.

Though, Jake's actions were sweet and made you want to do nothing but kiss him and spill your undying love to him, you still couldn't help but wonder what you were. You didn't want to live in the dark and constantly wonder.

You wanted to know.

You needed to know.

And now was the right time to ask...

"Jake," you anxiously began, reaching up to fiddle with the pendant. The Sim boys eyes trailed away from the necklace that was once his and up to your face, his eyes instantly meeting yours as he waited for you to continue.

He watched you whilst you nervously licked and chewed away your lips as your cheeks blushed pink and he almost heard your heart pounded so hard against your rib cage.

It was cute.

You were cute.

"What are we?"

The silence was loud. Very loud — almost deafening as you watched as Jake slowly lowered his head, his tongue escaping his mouth to nervously lick his lips whilst he remained quiet, avoiding eye contact with you at all costs.

Was this his answer? Was this Jake Sim's way of saying they weren't anything? Had you been stupid enough to think that maybe, just maybe, you and Jake could ever be something?

A scoff fell past your parted lips and you shook your head in a mix of anger and annoyance. How could you of been so stupid?

"Shit..." you frustratingly whispered to yourself while your hands quickly reached up and fiddled with the clasp of the necklace, attempting to desperately remove to jewelry from you.

You felt like a complete and total fool.

However, as you focused your attention on unlinking the dainty hooks with tears beginning to blur your vision, your movements were put to an end as soon as Jake placed his hand against the side of your warm face, lifting your head up so your eyes could meet, before confidently crashing his full, red lips against her ones.

It felt as if the air had been sucked from your body as your mouths collided. You were more than shocked by his actions and couldn't quite comprehend what was unraveling as you sat on the edge of the pool with the brunette boy stood between your legs — however, you knew you liked it.

You liked pressing your lips against his and enjoyed the feeling of butterflies flying around in your stomach. It felt so surreal kissing your brothers best friend. It felt wrong but so right at the same time, and you no longer cared if you’d have to deal with your brother's disapproval.

You were snatched from your trail of thoughts once the boy slowly pulled away, his head gently resting against your forehead as the sound of your heavy breathing consumed the back garden.

Neither of you uttered a word; your minds far too hazy for words to be able to jump from your tongues. It felt as if you were drunk off of one another (which you practically were), and as you both sat in silence, thinking about the events that occurred, Jake slowly brushed his thumb across your cheek, wiping away the tear that had (unknowingly) fallen.

"I wanna be with you so bad, y/n," The older boy breathed out, his eyes not leaving your ones. "So bad." He repeated, shaking his head ever so slightly as desperation seeped through his eyes.

All you could do was nod in acceptance as you brought your other hand up to delicately move a strand of his wet hair out of his face, fighting back a ear-to-ear grin that was threatening to show on your face.

"Okay." You agreed just above a whisper and without another thought, you and Jake hungrily clashed your lips together once again, craving the taste of one another.

It was almost as if you had been deprived of each other — which in a way, you had. You both didn't want to hurt Jay's feelings, and so you restricted themselves from one another no matter how bad you wanted to be in each other's arms.

You both felt amazing; like you were on top of the world as Jake's tongue softly, yet hungrily, brushed against your bottom lip as a way of asking for entrance.

The action caused your heart to race with nerves and even though you wanted this so bad, you still hesitantly parted your lips, allowing his tongue to enter your mouth. Never in your life had you ever kissed someone before, let alone made out with somebody at your families holiday home — though, you were happy you were experiencing your firsts with Jake Sim because after all, he was (and always will be) your first love.

You could feel his hands unhurriedly depart from your face and his arms snake around your waist, Jake instantly pulling your dry body against his damp one, and he was gentle — so gentle.

It was clear that he didn't want to hurt you as his hands explored your waist, his thumb stroking the side of your stomach ever so slightly, before he slowly retreated back into the pool (hesitantly parting your lips in the midst of doing so).

His eyes were glued to you the whole time he looked up at you in awe whilst helping you into the water and assisting you with wrapping your legs around his body before you continued your steamy make out; subtly grinding your crotch against his hardening one, releasing low groans from Jake’s mouth and into your mouth.

You were closer than ever now.

Body to body.

Lips to lips.

That was all you needed.

You were both all you needed.

And so, as the night got older and the sun began to rise, you and Jake Sim remained in the (now cold) pool with their limbs tangled, your lips interlocked and your crotchets grinding against one another, wishing the moment would never end.

───────────

"Y/n!" Your brother yelled out to you, frustratedly. "Are you even listening?" He questioned you, running a hand through his dyed hair.

"Huh?" You asked, looking up from your lap and at the boy that stood before you in the living room. The memories of last nights canoodling with Jake flooding your mind and muffling out Jay's words.

You still couldn't get over the sensation of the Sim boys lips against yours and the memory of his hands exploring your body made your latently clench your legs together and your stomach churn as your subconsciously reached up to play with the pendant — his pendant — around your neck and a tiny blush creeped upon your full cheeks.

"Are you high?" Jay interrogated, narrowing his eyes down at you to inspect your features, desperate to know the cause for your lack of attention.

"What?" You spat, looking up at your brother with creased eyebrows filled with confusion. "What are you even on about?"

"You're not listening to me." He explained and you sighed, muttering an apology beneath your breath as you waited for the boy to speak once again.

However, before he got the chance to, Niki, Sunghoon and him — Jake Sim — entered the living area, immediately gaining your attention as you watched as the two boys sat on the sofa across from you — Jake's eyes lingering on you as his lip found its way between his teeth.

"What I was trying to say was," Jay scoffed in annoyance, rolling his eyes at you and glancing over at the youngest and his two best friends to engage them in the conversation. "Heeseung's throwing an end of Summer party tonight."

"Nice." Jake grinned widely as he sat up on the chair, him and your brother dabbing one another up.

It was then, that it finally dawned on you that you would no longer be able to see Jake Sim (and your brother, of course - and Sunghoon) everyday. They would go back to their lives in Australia, and you’d go back to hers in in Seoul and you weren’t so sure how to feel about that.

"Whatever happens tonight, just remember to have fun," Jay shrugged as he, Sunghoon and Jake stood up after deciding to head to the convenience store to buy alcohol for the party. "It's our last night here and all together, it's the least we can do." He chuckled and playfully patted you on the head, making you groan and move away from him.

"Whatever you say, Jay." You rolled your eyes, already knowing he wouldn't stick to his word and end up being the overprotective brother he is all of the time.

And yet, it seemed that you were wrong — very wrong. 

Earlier on, when getting ready for Heeseung's end of Summer party, you were dreading it and even considered not going, debating on making up some lie to tell the boys that your period had started and that you felt sick.

The constant worry that your brother would follow you around like a fly and taking the 'overprotective brother' role far too seriously just made your shoulders slump and your eyes roll. You’d been to many house parties with him before in the past and even then he was always making sure you were okay and restricting your freedom.

It wasn't that you weren’t grateful to have someone care for you as much as he did, it only made you feel awful. You felt as if you were depriving Jay from enjoying himself to the full extent — so, when the group pulled up to the car-filled street and Jay told Jake and Sunghoon to keep a slight eye on you before being pulled away by a random girl, you couldn't help but feel relieved and shocked.

"Come on," you just about heard your best friend yell out to you over the music. "Let's go get drinks." He suggested, before you nodded your head in agreement and you weaved your way past plenty of intoxicated people.

Lee Heeseung's house was packed to the brim, flooding with people of all different ages, genders and races. The strong mix of scents of all kinds of alcoholic liquids and drugs were imprinted within the homes walls and carpets, and the loud, blaring sound of Heeseung's Spotify playlist boomed through the speakers that were nailed to the creme coloured walls. Disco lights danced through the rooms, brightly beaming through the windows and lighting up the front lawn, where some people sat around, taking gradual sips from the concoction in their red plastic cups. There were some people scattered out the back garden also, standing hazardously close to the lit up pool, just waiting to fall in.

It was rather easy to lose one another within the cramped home, and so that was why you kept a tight grip on the back of Niki's black, loosely fitted button up shirt, worried you’d lose your best friend in the flock of bodies. 

Once arriving at the station of drinks, your face immediately grimaced at the sight of the display of alcohol. It was quicker than ever that flashbacks from the last time you attended one of Heeseung's infamous parties appeared in your mind, and a wave of embarrassment consumed your body, causing your cheeks to tint pink as you remembered the drunken state you’d gotten herself into. 

You were most definitely not getting wasted tonight. 

After taking a small sip of the Gin and Tonic Niki eventually poured for you, the boy soon dismissed himself when a he was pulled away by a flirtatious looking girl, which only made you chuckle at his surprise expression.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here alone?" You heard a rather familiar voice question whilst you took a gulp from your drink.

Looking up, your eyes widened slightly at the sight of the tall boy before you. His small, dark eyes met your ones and you were instantly reminded of the times you had crushed on him — Sung Hanbin — when you were just eight years old. 

Within the Park family, it was once a running joke that you were madly in love with the older boy and that you’d end up marrying one another when you were older — however, that quickly fizzled out when Hanbin stopped returning to Jeju Island one summer and became a distant memory. 

It was weird seeing him in front of you after so many years of him being MIA and you couldn't help but feel even more awkward as you stiffed out a laugh. It had been quite a while since you last spoke — the last conversation you had, Hanbin promised you’d continue your annual summer bike rides the following year (which never ended up happening).

"Hanbin?" You quietly spoke his name in surprise. "What're you doing back in Jeju? I thought you outgrew the area six years ago..." you half heartedly joked, taking another sip from your red cup as a way of filling the awkwardness between you. 

A small laugh escaped the boys thin lips and he lowered his head ever so slightly and took a few steps towards you, habitually fixing his zip up jacket. "I guess I got bored of visiting my Grandmother the past six years," He simply shrugged, biting his bottom lip and brining his hand up to move a strand of hair out of your face. "And I guess you could say I also missed our bike rides."

It appeared that you had yet to realise how close the older boy was stood in front of you as you made no signs of backing away — however, your close proximity didn't go unnoticed by the boy who had his back leaning against the door frame of the kitchen, glaring daggers at the two of you.

"Jay said to keep a slight eye on her," Park Sunghoon pointed out, glancing between you and Jake. "Not burn holes into her." He huffed out in annoyance, swilling the liquid around in his cup out of boredom. 

"So?" Jake shrugged, adverting his attention to the taller boy in front of him. "I don't know who this dude is — he could be some weird pervert and I don't want her getting hurt by him." He explained, his tone filled with protectiveness and predatory, which only made Sunghoon's brows crease with confusion. 

"Because Jay would be up my ass about it, obviously." The Sim boy quickly cleared up, standing up straight as he threw his empty cup into the trash bin, a hint of panic racing through his body at the thought of his and your relationship being found out. 

"Whatever dude," Sunghoon shook his head, a quiet, breathy chuckle falling past his red lips. "Just try and wipe the possessive look off your face before speaking to Jay about his sister, alright." He stated, though at the same time the words left his mouth, Hanbin had rested a hand on your waist (visibly making you uncomfortable which Jake took notice of).

"Yeah, whatever, man." Jake nodded his head with furrowed brows and a clenched jaw as he soon began to make his way over to you both - irritation and displeasure filling his body. 

"Leave her alone." The boy stated loud enough so that he could be heard once making it over to you two. It felt as if a ton of bricks had been taken off of your shoulders as soon as Jake interrupted you and Hanbin's 'moment' and you could't be more grateful.

You knew you should of just told the Sung boy that you weren’t interested in him like that, however it seemed he had you in a suffocating chokehold, leaving you no room to but in as his hands latched onto your body and he towered over you like a giant. 

"And who are you exactly?" Hanbin squinted his eyes in a mixture of annoyance and confusion as he let his cold hand rest on you — which Jake had been eyeing the entire time, making him bite his bottom lip in anger. 

"None of your business," Jake revealed, shaking his head slightly and taking another step forward so that he could take hold of your hand and gently pull you away from the situation, however it wasn't that easy. "We're leaving, come on, y/n." 

"Bro, does she look like she wants to leave?" Hanbin asked, nodding his head towards you, who was chewing your bottom lip whilst he moved his hand from your waist and up to take hold of your other hand. 

The Sim boy narrowed his eyes at the taller boy and couldn't help but feel dumbfounded by his reply. It was obvious you were uncomfortable and didn't want to be there, so he couldn't quite understand how Hanbin couldn't grasp that. 

"Yeah, she does." He deadpanned with the nod of his head, a sarcastic scoff escaping his slightly parted lips as he licked them.

"Just leave us alone bro, we were fine before you became such a bother." Hanbin rolled his eyes. "Quit being a cockblock and hop off my dick." He declared and turned his attention back to you, who had an expression filled with disgust spread across your features. 

"Listen, Hanbin," you went to speak up, planning on rejecting him nicely, however before you got the chance to finish your sentence, Jake had turned the eldest back around in fury, and before anyone knew it, a hard hitting punch was thrown across Sung Hanbin's face. 

Chaotic yells erupted in the kitchen as Jake's fist collided with the side of Hanbin's face, the Sim boys actions being a shock to not only Hanbin himself, but also everyone else.

Nobody had expected Jake to get into yet another fight at a party this summer, and so when their attention was grabbed when the boy threw another hit, gasps accentuated throughout the home.

Hanbin, being quick to retaliate, threw a hit back, fury spread across his features as he grabbed Jake by the collar of his t-shirt.

Your eyes widened in frenzy and you took a few steps back, unsure what to do in a situation like this. Usually, your brother would be around to prevent the fight from getting any worse, however as time went on and more and more blood leaked from both of the boys, it felt as if Jay was never going to show up and save the day.

"Jake!" You panicked and you went to take a step forward, panic bubbling in your stomach — which made her want to puke — though, just as you were about to reach out to the boy that now had a firm grip on Hanbin's jacket, you were quickly yanked back by a firm grip on your wrist.

"Are you stupid?!" You heard your brother shout over the loud music, and instantly you felt your body relax. "What the fuck happened?" Jay asked, but he didn't leave a chance for you to answer as he'd already hurried to the two boys — Sunghoon and Niki hot on his tail — to try and depart them from one another.

It felt like an eternity for Jake and Hanbin to finally be pulled apart, and as soon as you watched the Sung boy step back to where his friends were stood, you scurried over to the chaos, your bottom lip tightly tucked between your teeth as anxiety ran through your veins.

You could feel your heartbeat race as fast as ever once your brown eyes landed on Jake and you couldn't help sigh.

His nose had a few slithers of blood dripping from it and his bottom lip was completely busted, along with his red eye that was bound to bruise sooner or later.

You wanted nothing more than to engulf him in a tight hug, lecture him about his actions and take care of him, but with your brother standing only inches away, you knew you couldn't do anything. It was like you were in chains and couldn't get free.

"What happened?" Jay asked, looking away from his best friend and over to Hanbin, who was busy groaning in pain with his friends, Matthew and Jiwoong surrounding him.

"You tell me," He scoffed, rolling his eyes as he sent Jake a fierce glare. If looks could kill... "This psychotic bitch swung for me just because I was talking to your sister." Hanbin explained in annoyance.

You had drowned out the rest of Jay and Hanbin's conversation, far too concerned for the boy beside you — who had now subtly placed his hand on your waist.

He too, wanted nothing more than to escape the situation and be alone with you, and so, he let out a hiss of pain as he licked his bottom lip habitually and turned his head to look down at you.

"Let's go." He stated firmly, his eyes darkening as they narrowed down to you, leaving you speechless. It was as if you were in a trance and under his spell, because all you did was nod in agreement before allowing him to take you away, ignoring Sunghoon's knowing look and Jay's glance of confusion.

After pushing yourselves through the swarms of bodies (your hands still being interlocked), the cold air outside hit you, instantly making goosebumps form on your skin — though neither of you seemed to care. That was the least of your worries.

"Where are we going?" You quietly asked as you looked up at the boy, whose jaw was still clenched and his body remained tense as he led the way.

"I don't know..." Jake answered just above a whisper, afraid that if he spoke normally, the fury he was feeling would be revealed even more than it already was, and you would take it the wrong way — thinking he was mad at you.

Which he wasn't. He could never be mad at you.

Eventually, after a little over five minutes of walking with an unknown destination, you found yourselves at the beach, sitting next to each other ever so closely — your thighs rubbing against each others, and your arm linked with Jake's and you rested your head on his shoulder.

The view before you was beautiful. The light waves brushed against one another as the soft breeze blew in the wind. The lights from other islands in the distance were glowing brightly and a few shining stars decorated the pitch black sky. It was silent on the beach, not another human in sight. The only sound that could be heard was the water caressing the damp sand, making a sense of calmness take over you both; easing Jake's emotions.

"I can't believe tonight's our last night." You sadly sighed, feeling your shoulders drop as your eyes remained on the sight before you. The boy beside you stayed silent whilst he slightly nodded his head in agreement — his mind still playing out the scenes from earlier.

"I didn't like how he was touching you, y/n..." Jake lowly spoke, breaking the comfortable and tension filled silence between you.

His voice was quiet, yet his tone made his emotions loud and clear.

All you could do was raise your head from his shoulder and look up at him, your eyes softer than ever as he slowly moved his head to look down at you with his eyes glassy and glimmering against the lights around you. His injuries were no longer as noticeable and you couldn't help but feel your heart go pitter-patter against your chest.

Despite being in such an open area, the air between you felt stuffy and suffocating as your eyes met. Your throat felt tight and you subconsciously bit down on your lip, nervously.

"You're mine, y/n." Jake stated unwaveringly, his clenched jaw showing just how serious he was. "Not Hanbin's or anybody elses. They don't get to touch you like that..." The boy paused for a moment before he eyes unhurriedly trailed down to your lips, where he felt his heart ache with need.

"Only I do."

You sat with her mouth slightly parted, amazed at the boys words. They made your stomach churn and it felt as if caterpillars were finally hatching from their cocoons and flapping their wings rapidly as you subconsciously squeezed your legs together.

His jealousy made you feel things you’d never felt before.

His jealousy made you want to do things you’ve never done before.

Without another thought, you placed your warm hand on the side of his face and pulled him down to you so that you were only inches away from having your lips touch.

You’d kissed before, however for some unknown reason, this time felt different. There was a lot more need and sexual tension surrounding you, that you felt as if you’d lose control as soon as your lips touch.

And so, after a short moment of pained silence, you and Jake crashed your lips together, desperate for one another. You wanted each other so bad that you could no longer contain it. You didn't care if you were on a public beach and that Jay could show up at any moment and catch you, pull you apart, and demand that you stopped seeing each other. You liked each other too much to be able to do that.

It wasn't until a hiss fell from Jake's lips that you pulled away, worry taking over your features as you inspected his face. "I'm sorry," you whispered out, reaching up to delicately caress his injured lip.

"It's okay," Jake quietly reassured, shaking his head as he took hold of your hand that was touching his face. "I don't care about the pain... I just want you." He said, before reaching down to grab hold of your leg to pull you up, so that you could sit on his lap.

A chuckle escaped your lips at the sudden movement, however before any words could leave your mouth, the boy had reached back up and connected your lips again — this time it was a lot more messy.

You could feel his tip of his tongue licking at your bottom lip, desperate for entrance and you gladly gave it to him, parting your lips ever so slightly so that the muscle could explore your mouth.

You could feel his hands roughly, yet also gently, roam your body, touching over your waist, grazing your breasts, squeezing your hips and guiding them to rock against his crotch.

His actions caused a soft moan to fall from your mouth and into his, making him smirk into the kiss and roll your heat into him harder.

Instantly, as the pressure of his hard on nudged your clothed, untouched clit, you couldn’t help but detach your lips and throw your head back as a gasp flew past your lips and your hands landed on his shoulders.

“Jake…” You whimpered whilst the boy took the opportunity to attack your exposed neck with his mouth, sucking and biting it like it would be his final meal.

By now, Jake no longer had to guide you as you’d quite quickly got the hang of the sinful action and began cantering your hips into him; your arousal dampening your panties and seeping through them onto the older boys trousers.

“God,” Jake breathed out as he pulled away from your skin and attached his eyes to what you were doing, which only made a groan pass his parted lips before he shook his head in awe.

Without another word, the Sim boy swiftly flipped you over so that you were now laying beneath him on the sand with him laying between your parted legs.

Taking over your previous movement, Jake soon started to desperately grind his clothed cock into your heat, the empty beach soon filling with the sounds of your heavy breathing as you hugged the boy close to you.

It felt as if you were in a cloud of pleasure and your mind was completely fogged over as you felt your insides clench and your bottom lip find it’s way between your teeth.

Was this normal?

You thought you could only ever feel such intense pleasure from sex, not dry humping…

Suddenly, an uncontrollable gasp escaped your mouth and your eyes squinted shut as your high consumed your body, making your legs tremble and your tummy muscles clench as you came in your panties; Jake following suit whilst he lowly groaned.

“Fuck,” The boy huffed out as he kneeled upright to look down at you as his fingertips mindlessly stroked your exposed thighs. “That was so hot.”

Just the thought of you cumming from nothing but a bit of dry humping was enough the make the blood gush through his cock once again and he quickly ran a hand through his hair.

“You’re amazing, y/n,” He praised and leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. “You’re so perfect.” Jake complimented and rubbed a few droplets of sweat from your head, making you smile a slightly dazed smile up at him.

It was then, in that moment, as Jake praised you and showered you in kisses as you came down from your high, that you both realized just how in love you were with each other.

───────────

You woke up the next morning with a heavy heart and your shoulders slumped; the feeling of loath streaming through your body. You really did not want to go through with what was about to come.

You didn't want to say goodbye to Jake, not now, not ever.

You could still feel the boys delicate hands roaming your body as you got ready for the day, brushing your hair whilst the image of his lust filled eyes looking up at her as you ground your hips on his lap appeared in your mind, making your stomach swirl.

Standing in front of the mirror, you felt your breathing hitch as you traced your warm fingertips over the purple marks he’d left on your collarbones.

Just the thought of Jake's soft, plump lips against your smooth skin had you going into a frenzy and made your head blur as you remembered the quiet groans that would escape his mouth as he bruised your skin.

"Y/n! Hurry up!" Your brother's voice calling out to you abruptly disturbed your thoughts, causing you to quickly snatch your hand away from the hem of your pajama shorts and a panicked breath to leave your mouth as your eyes widened and your cheeks burned red. Embarrassed at what your hand was subconsciously doing and alarmed at the mere thought of missing Jay, Sunghoon and Jake's departure.

"I'm coming!" You screamed back down to your brother, rolling your eyes at the sound of his moaning and groaning about you always taking forever filled your ears.

Huffing to yourself, you hurriedly stripped from your night clothes and got into a pair of shorts that you were sure would be comfortable for the long journey home and a simple, orange flannel that you’d stolen from Jake a few years ago when he'd left it in the family living room after sleeping over. The boy hadn't asked for it back yet, and so you didn't see a problem with having it at all.

Once you’d finished cleaning your face, you quickly picked up your dirty laundry and shoved it into your backpack, not caring if it was folded or not. You could deal with it later on when you returned home because right now, you didn't care. All you cared about was seeing Jake for one last time before the Winter break.

"Finally." Jay loudly huffed once you had made it downstairs, your backpack clinging to your shoulders. All you could do was roll your eyes at your brother and head into the kitchen to grab something for you and Niki to eat for the car ride.

"The car is all packed, so we can head home now." The Park siblings father announced as he poked his head through the front door the inform the five of you, to which you nodded in acknowledgment and soon left the holiday home.

"It was nice meeting you, even if we didn't speak much." You smiled widely and a chuckle fell from your lips as you looked up at Park Sunghoon, who had a firm grip on the strap of his bag and his other hand tucked in his jean pocket and a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah, and it's safe to say that the allegations of you being an 'Annoying Younger Sister' are false." Sunghoon laughed, pulling you in for a quick hug before pulling away and looking down at you with a mischievous glint in his eye. "And whatever's going on with you and Jake, be careful around Jay. He already thinks you've got some secret boyfriend because you rejected Sung Hanbin."

Instantly, your eyes widened slightly in shock — shocked because the thought of Jay slowly catching onto what was going on between his best friend and sister panicked you, and because Sunghoon knew there was something happening between them.

"Don't worry, your secrets safe with me." Sunghoon quickly reassured you before being beckoned away by your mother, who was desperate for a hug from 'the son she should of had.'

"The flannel looks good on you." You heard his voice softly speak out from behind you, making your heart skip a beat as you hurriedly spun around on your heel, a wide grin on your lips as you looked ahead at Jake Sim.

He was wearing a striped, long sleeved polo shirt that was white and navy and a pair of denim jeans along with black and white converse. His outfit was simple, yet he still managed to make it look ten times more attractive than it would've looked on any other person.

"Oh," you stuttered out, glancing down at the flannel and then back up at him, your cheeks now tinted red. Despite going as far as second base — pretty much third — you still managed to get flustered just being under his strong, appealing gaze. "Thanks..."

A chuckle broke past Jake's plump lips as his hands instantly attached themselves to your hips, pulling your body against his as a way of bringing you in for a hug. Your own arms instinctively wrapping around his neck, bringing him down closer to you, making his face muzzle into the crook of your neck and his arms circle your waist; his thumb gently brushing against the skin that had been exposed due to the flannel hiking up.

"I'll miss you." The older boy whispered into your hair and his warm breath softly hit your neck, causing goosebumps to attack your skin and your stomach to spin with nerves and excitement.

"I'll miss you, too." You quietly said back as you pulled him even closer to you, afraid he'd disappear at any moment — which in a way, he was.

Once you had both had pulled away from one another and shared glances over at Jay, who was busy messing around with Niki and Sunghoon, Jake hurriedly placed his hand on the side of your face and leaned down, pressing his delicate lips against your own.

And even though it was quick and chased and left you both wanting more, the strong feelings you felt for one another were still apparent, and as Jake stared down into your dark eyes, he parted his lips, ready for the three words he desperately wanted to get off of his chest to be released into the world.

"Ew, go away, Jake." Jay scoffed, his voice filled with disgust as he made his way over to the two of you, disturbing your moment and halting Jake's next actions. "And quit looking at my sister like you want to kiss her, you freak. It's weird."

A muffled chuckle left your mouths as you awkwardly took a step away from one another.

"See you around, y/n." Jake waved, his lips tightly pressed together a he walked away from the siblings, subtly winking at you behind Jay's back, making you do everything you could to hold back an even more prominent blush and a giggle.

"Don't get into trouble when I'm gone." Jay warned, sternly, looking down at you with a raised brow, making you roll your eyes and release a groan.

"I didn't get in trouble before, so I think I'll be perfectly fine, Jay." You huffed out, folding your arms across your chest.

"Whatever, I'm just warning you because you're going into your last year of high school, that's all." He explained, before reaching out and forcing you into a hug, which only caused you to break out of the tough character you were attempting to portray and fling your arms around his waist.

"When I come back for Winter break, I'm going to throw a party and this time you're allowed to join." Jay told you as they pulled apart, him roughing up your hair in a playful manner.

Your eyes lit up at the boys words and you couldn't help but let out a happy sigh. Previously, whenever Jay would host a party at your home when your parents would go out of town, he'd always make you hide away upstairs in your bedroom, so hearing that you’d actually be able to join in made you feel a sense of accomplishment.

You were finally cool enough to hang out with your older brother at his party.

Eventually, when all the goodbyes were said and long hugs were shared and Jay, Jake and Sunghoon climbed into the eldest's car, you sadly smiled as you watched as the vehicle slowly began to drive away from the home, Jake hanging out the window and waving to the family.

Once the car had officially vanished and your shoulders had slumped, you and Niki, along with your parents got into the other vehicle, ready to finally head home.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Niki's low, deep voice questioned, making you snatch your attention away from the scenery outside the window and look over at the boy who'd decided to sit in the middle seat beside you.

"Hm?" You furrowed your brows in confusion, removing the AirPod that you and the Nishimura boy were listening to music through together.

"You and Jake.”

there will be a part two to this which will be much shorter, tumblr js decided to be stupid and stop me at a certain word count idk lmao

i hope you enjoyed this & my apologies for it being long lol

DON’T FORGET TO REBLOG :)

@ criminalyun 2024.

[pumpkinpaix]

Chapter Spotlight 8:

"'Censorship Made It Better': Anti-Fans and Purity Culture in English-Language Chen Qing Ling Fandom" by Abby Springman

Describe your topic/chapter in one sentence/one meme/140 characters.

Rejoice! MDZS has been cancelled!

What drew you to this topic?

When I got into CQL fandom and started lurking on its outskirts on Twitter, I started getting this weird sense of déjà vu. There was this bizarre similarity between the arguments I was seeing about the aspects of CQL/MDZS and their fandoms being "problematic" from a progressive, social justice point of view and the demands for censorship in American libraries that conservative groups were (and still are) making at an alarmingly increasing rate. In an attempt to make sense of this, I fell down what ended up being a really long rabbit hole, and, well, here we are.

Was there anything you were surprised to discover while researching?

I was surprised by the wide variety of fannish backgrounds found amongst members of English-language CQL fandom! I'm not used to seeing so many different "areas" of fandom intersect over a single piece of media like this. Some folks are primarily into the live action movies and TV shows side of things, some are mostly in bandom, some (like me) are traditionally a part of the anime, manga, and gaming contingent, etc. I think that's fascinating, honestly.

Did researching/writing your chapter change how you saw the text, the fandom, or the media? How so?

I didn't use the block button on Tumblr or Twitter for anyone in the fandom while I was working on my chapter. It definitely changed how I saw fandom on those platforms—literally. It really highlighted how much power social media algorithms have over what kind of content is presented to us front and center.

If there’s one thing you hope the fandom takes away from your article, what would it be?

I'll be thrilled if it makes people think about "problematic" content in less black-and-white terms. They don't have to necessarily agree with my conclusions! But if my words make even one person stop and think more about context before posting a reactionary comment, then that would be great.

If you were isekai-ed into MDZS/CQL, what sect affiliation would you choose and why?

The Lan. My existing skills are most likely to be applicable there (see: the library), it seems easy to find some peace and quiet when you need it, there are bunnies, and Hanguang-jun is there.

Chaotic one-sentence pitch to get your friends into MDZS/CQL?

My elevator pitch for CQL has historically been, "It's the adaptation of a book about a gay necromancer, except they can't actually show the gay romance or the zombies on screen."

What is one (1) book/media you would recommend to a MDZS/CQL fan? Tell us about it.

Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio by Pu Songling. It's probably the most accessible collection of Chinese stories of the supernatural available in English. If MDZS/CQL was your first exposure to traditional Chinese cultural beliefs about ghosts, exorcisms, and the like, this is a great introduction to the less xianxia-specific aspects. If that isn't the case for you, I still highly recommend it on its own merits!

Character you keep getting in those "which MDZS/CQL character are you" quizzes?

Wen Ning

Anything to say to potential readers of the collection?

Thank you, and I'm sorry—no, that's a joke. More seriously, I really am thankful for anyone interested in the collection. It's the product of years of hard work by many people, and I'm sure there's an interesting chapter in there for everyone.

(FAQ) (all posts on Catching Chen Qing Ling)

[karlkapri]

I wonder what it is about the sport of hockey specifically that inspires this many poems. I've not seen any other fanbase like this one.

200 of those hockey poems are admittedly on me. but with that said, i dont know if hockey is any more romantic than any other sport. ive for sure been weird about other rpf pairings before hockey (read: brocedes) & ive seen wonderful cycling, motogp & baseball edits. i think it might just be that there's something so very real and beautiful about live sports.

(cue the mark halliday poem. you know the one)

do you see?? do you get it??? football!! romance!!!! high stakes!!! athleticism!! the simple act of catching a ball somehow being the most important thing in the world!! the precision of it!! P O E T R Y

i think everybody should be a romantic when it comes to sports.

 A. Bartlett Giamatti

Hanif Abdurraquib

and as for poetry:

"The qualities I appreciate most in my favorite soccer players happen to be the same ones I appreciate in my favorite poets: beauty, creativity, flair, imagination, skill—all words, incidentally, that I’d attach to Pelé and Romário."

Duy Doan

Anselm Berrigan

and okay. a few more sports poems while im at it:

Ray Fleming

Jill McDonough

Hanif Abdurraqib

Peter Balakian

Naomi Shihab Nye

Oliver Evans

also Catch by Samiya Bashir which always reminds me of this poem by Trygve Skaug (@lemondropbois edit)

also these lines from "The crowd at the ball game" by William Carlos Williams:

So in detail they, the crowd, / are beautiful // for this / to be warned against // saluted and defied— / It is alive, venomous // it smiles grimly / its words cut—

Kevin Young's Brown is full of baseball poems and therefore incredible

i wont end on my own words. Abdurraqib makes this point more eloquently than i ever could:

it's really not just hockey..

[vigilskeep]

now that you finished inquisition, what did you think of it? like favorite things, least favorite, etc?

oh man okay

things i love about dragon age inquisition:

capturing the specific feeling of bonding with a group of people you have absolutely nothing in common with because u all had to go through something long and specific together

the maps can be so pretty and in places really calming and lovely to spend time in. it does make me want to explore and i have no explorer’s instinct

i love the war table and judgements i think those are really fun features

i like that approval for many major decisions applies to everyone regardless of who you bring to specific events/quests. it feels a lot less like you have to manage that really hard, as you sometimes do in the other games and also really noticeably to me in something like baldur’s gate 3. it’s irritating when i have to plan ahead and can’t take who i want to hear from

i like how attached you can get to little npcs who wander around

i loveeeee fighting dragons and how beautiful they all are

little puzzles <3

the collectibles are also mostly fine by me i am a magpie by nature. as long as i can find them, obviously, bc if i can’t they suck and this whole game sucks

the templar specialisation is fun and i enjoyed that part of combat a lot. wrath of heaven/spell purge combo is a power trip

i thought my character was pretty :) i defeated u in the end dai character creator. may you be as merciful when we meet in battle once more

i’m not a huge crafter but being able to tint things is rlly nice

blackwall’s romance is good

vivienne is there

they let me briefly tame a dragon at the end there

things i don’t love about dragon age inquisition:

some genuine cruelty in writing the dalish in a way that feels shockingly callous to the real world cultures the writers took inspiration from

never giving the dalish or the rebel mages any kind of voice of their own and making the player do all that work if they care, which i also feel limits my roleplaying creativity

refusing to let you challenge any of the often overwhelmingly conservative views expressed by other characters without receiving only derision and disapproval. inquisition is a game that punishes you at every turn for having your own opinions, in a way that could be interesting if it was willing to truly let you develop complex or antagonistic relationships with those characters, but ends up mostly just feeling mocking when nobody ever even tries to see your side, while simply agreeing with these people always rewards you with content. origins was capable of letting you engage in discussion, and da2 let you form rivalries that mattered; inquisition, despite starring some of the most intentionally controversial characters, does neither

the game engineering conflicts against groups like the freemen of the dales or the avvar that mean nothing to the player and range from vaguely to seriously upsetting in their assumptions about who it’s normal to just start killing en masse. it’s both boring and distressing

odd, for lack of a better word “casting choices”, like having the fantasy impoverished racial minority all be white within the party while the wealthiest and most privileged are characters of colour, or for a more in-world example having the elves express the most distaste towards elves and the mages express the most caution about mages. i don’t know that i quite have the vocabulary to fully discuss why these weird me out, but it all feels... disingenuous? and chosen to forestall criticism based on real world comparisons in a game series that i wish had the nerve to openly confront what it’s talking about if it’s going to try to make any of its conflicts feel relevant

most of the companions, and indeed most of the quests and time spent playing the game, feel disconnected from the main plot. it’s hard to feel any pressure when the game tells you we need to deal with the main plot “right now!” and “get there before corypheus!” when the bulk of the game is doing other things while you’re supposed to be doing that. the majority of companions could be cut without changing anything. and when you finally want to deal with the main plot you just click to start it. it’s not engaging

the game fails to fully expand dialogue for the player character options it provided, particularly notable with its confusing chantry focus when you’ve said for the dozenth time you’re not andrastian

the 2-handed weapon whirlwind ability sound effect is an exercise in creating the worst and most grating sound effect for someone to constantly hear

they didn’t let me romance vivienne

they killed my dragon :(

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

We've suddenly got an abundance of shows with dark themes and adult vibes, with a bit of a mixed bag on their execution. These are available for weekly streaming on Gaga unless otherwise noted.

Smells Like Green Spirit

A fan subber came through and we are now able to watch this show on a slight delay from the airing in Japan. This first episode was great, but be warned that this is not a light watch. This show is less a full blown romance and more of a queer coming of age story with a rather bleak worldview that will likely include a romance subplot. Our story centers on Mishima, a young person who is questioning their gender and just trying to live while being constantly targeted by school bullies. The bullying in this show is graphic and violent and Mishima has already been assaulted and targeted by creeps in the first episode, so take care and ask for content warnings if you need them. I have read the manga so I'm aware of what's in store--if you would like to know what to expect before watching, feel free to ask.

Happy of the End

CWs: Assault, attempted murder, blood, death, forced fellatio/rape (against a main character, graphically depicted more than once), revenge porn, sexual coercion and exploitation, stabbing, suicide attempt, suicide, violence

We have arrived at the end of this story, and it did not quite come together for me. I liked a lot of what it was doing; the relationship between Chihiro and Haoren giving them both a reason to persist despite their general apathy toward survival was compelling, and the actors gave strong performances in some very difficult scenes. I thought the show had a strong sense of style and tone, as well. But for me, it crossed the line into over the top trauma porn one too many times, seeming to revel in making the characters suffer and piling on unnecessary traumas that were depicted quite graphically, making the show deeply unpleasant to watch. And in the end, it suddenly veered into a happy ending that felt like a mismatch for the rest of the story, which was achieved via a time skip and Chihiro and Haoren healing offscreen despite their circumstances only getting worse over the course of the show. @bengiyo laid out why that ending felt like the show pulling its punches, and I agree. I can appreciate a story that has an established bleak worldview telling us about a specific time in these characters' lives where they mattered to each other, but slapping that unearned epilogue on it just makes the whole thing feel like torture porn followed by cheap consolation. It didn't feel honest. I don’t recommend watching this one unless you are pretty comfortable with gratuitous sexual violence.

Love is Like a Poison

We’re zipping along nicely, with this week’s episode mostly focused on the case that Haruto helped Shiba win. That courtroom scene was wild. I’m intrigued by all the advances and the early confession from Haruto, because as we and Shiba well know, the man is a con. What’s his angle, and why does he think romancing Shiba is the way to get it? Whatever he’s after, I think Shiba should give in because look at him!

Chaser Game W 2

This week we met Itsuki’s first love Yoreum, who is now a famous Korean idol and still hung up on her from back when she did a homestay with Itsuki’s family. She did a livestream from Itsuki’s cafe in the special spot where Itsuki and Fuyu like to canoodle; jealousy and dramatics ensued. Then suddenly we were doing an elevator rescue? Idek. I’m rooting for the new girl to break this couple up to be honest.

[asleepinawell]

sorry if this seems a bit out of the blue, but ever since youve been posting about fallen london, im a bit curious about it! What is the game about and where can I get it?

oh no worries! I'm happy to ramble about it

fallen london is a free to play browser game you can find here. the basic premise is that sometime in the 1800's the entire city of london is engulfed in a swarm of bats and then falls through the earth into a cavern a mile below. this is the neath, a huge underground cavern where london sits on the shore of a vast ocean. queen victoria is still around locked in her palace being a typical shitty british monarch, who, amongst other things, decided that 1900 was cancelled and we were just going to have 1899 for a second time

things are a little...different down there. humans are far from the only ones running around. there's devils, rubbery men (think mind flayer vibes), clay men, and the shadowy cloaked figures running the bazaar (and the city) called the masters. death mostly isn't permanent and the dream world is a little too real. also, most importantly, cats can talk! and there are tons of them! and tigers too

it's got victorian, gothic horror, dark humor, lovecraftian vibes. also it's extremely queer as is everything the dev, failbetter games, makes. something I especially appreciate is that you don't have to give your character any particular gender (though you can) and some of the little avatars are very gender neutral:

since it's free to play it comes with the normal things that type of game has such as real money transactions (completely optional and unnecessary for enjoyment (though some of the bonus side stories you can buy are extremely cool)), limited number of actions you can take (max of 20 at a time and refills 1 per 10 minutes). it is definitely grindy too though there's so many things to do (cannot emphasize the insane amount of content enough) I will usually just switch things up every so often

it's single player for the most part but you can ask friends to assist you in certain actions and there are some specific items that can be sent to other players

(if you like the setting but not the free to play part you can check out mask of the rose which is a visual novel they just released set right after london fell. it's a romance but with full aro and ace options (which I actually preferred) and a murder mystery. that one is a normal just buy the whole game deal and I think it's on most platforms. there's also sunless seas and sunless skies which take place in the same world but are a very different type of game and would require their own post. all of these have great writing in them)

but back to fallen london. it works based off of 'storylets', or little short stories when you usually do a skill check to accomplish something in return for advancing the story, levelling your skills, and reward items. you unlock more and more things as you go and get access to new stories and areas. here's an example of one of the little activities and its resolution

since it's a game designed to be able to play endlessly there isn't really a way to lose or game over. you can die but dying is just a minigame of its own and sometimes even a thing to do purposefully. (the only actual way to die is the notorious story called seeking mr eaten's name which you may have seen me post about, which is a very unique story that will permanently erase your character at the end. why you'd ever want to do that would also be its own post. it's pretty hard to stumble on accidentally I think and extremely well-marked as a thing with severe consequences that you probably shouldn't do. or should you...)

anyway I'd definitely recommend giving fallen london a try if you're interested in the premise and aesthetic

[genericpuff]

Why is the art so unappealing in lore Olympus now Persephone looks like a highlighter and maybe it’s just me but the proportions like the fingers in arms are soul over the place I don’t think they used to be this bad. Am I just looking at it with nostalgia or am I crazy ?

Honestly, nostalgia does play a huge part in it, even to this day there are times I look back on old S1 panels and go-

Actually here's a great example that literally just happened yesterday in the ULO Discord that nearly had me on the floor LOL This is from Episode 70:

Like I didn't even believe that that was real until I was told what episode it was from and I was just. Astounded and flabbergasted. The over-shading of the blanket that just makes it look like a really bad edit. Insane.

And yeah, there are a lot of old panels that hit different now that the rose-colored glasses have been removed, crushed, and thrown into the trash compactor.

I think that's why it makes it all the more amusing when people come into my inbox and ask me "wait, why did you like LO to begin with?? It's always been ugly as shit, I think you're just romanticizing it" because like... there's something to be said about art and subjectivity, even if something is ugly to one person doesn't mean it isn't beautiful to someone else. It's why I try not to be too mean towards the fans of this comic for still enjoying it, because while I definitely have strong opinions about how "LO has gotten worse" and what kind of following Rachel has cultivated (cough cough), there are also just as equally valid arguments that LO has never begin good to begin with that I can't necessarily disagree with now that I'm looking back on it with a more critical eye.

That said, there's tons of media that I enjoy that is objectively awful. Like y'all, you don't need to take my opinions about a dumb pink x blue fantasy romance comic seriously, I like Starfox Adventures-

Like yeah it's a badly made rushed piece of shit that was developed right on the ass end of Rare's glory days and was really an original IP (Dinosaur Planet) that got Frankenstein'd into a Starfox game so it could "sell better" for Nintendo, but I don't give a fuck, I love Starfox Adventures and some day I wanna be in the top 10 speedrunner leaderboards for it, which I know doesn't mean much because no one is speedrunning Starfox, but I do and no one can take that away from me dammit-

Anyways. Lore Olympus has, in many regards, always had "bad art". But "bad art" can and should still be enjoyed by those who find joy in it.

And in LO's case, the world it existed in when it launched was a lot smaller than it is now - more specifically, the world of Webtoons. We can look back and see how 'bad' LO looks and reads now because there are genuinely way better comics surrounding it. It was unique and refreshing and experimental back then... now it's just "that stupid blue and pink comic for horny teenagers".

In most cases I would consider that "cringing in hindsight" feeling a good thing because normally it means something has grown and that it seeming "bad" in hindsight would mean that it's outgrown itself and moved onto bigger things. But LO has the more unique problem of "its current stuff is shit and it's making us want the old stuff more, even if the old stuff wasn't good either". In that regard, LO is closer to being like Harry Potter. Remember when The Cursed Child came out at the height of Rowling being exposed for being a TERF and even people who liked Harry Potter didn't like The Cursed Child because it was just objectively worse overall (with or without Rowling's bullshit attached)? It made a lot of people go back and re-read / rewatch Harry Potter with a more objective lens and go "wait a minute guys, I think we only adored these books so much because we were 12 when we read them". Often times it's the good memories we have surrounding certain things that make us have the opinion about them that we do.

Of course, LO is definitely not as politically weaponized as Harry Potter is, so that's where that comparison ends. But my point is that LO is definitely in a situation where it's been riding off the same privileges it had back in 2018 - having an 'experimental' art style while also utilizing tropes and characters that were VERY popular at the time (remember that 2017-18 was when Tumblr was at its height of H x P "Hades was a chill accountant guy who wore socks and sandals and didn't cheat on his wife like Zeus did" fantasizing) - and thinks that those same tricks and tropes will still work today.

Because of this, the art in LO really, really hasn't aged well, even the stuff that we look back on fondly. But I think it's the panels that we specifically think of when remembering "old LO" - the ones that stuck in our memories the most - that are the ones that make us miss or just not care about the panels that don't look good (the panels that make people question why we ever liked it to begin with).

We liked it because of how it made us feel to look at panels like these-

Those genuinely wonderful panels that we think back on the most don't exist separately from the bad panels, they exist in spite of them. Even if we can look back on panels like these and pick out problems in the lineart or the proportions or the color travelling outside of the lines, that can't and shouldn't change how those panels made us feel at some point or another. And that's why when people ask me "why were you even into LO in the first place" I don't have any one answer, because I can't fully explain how something made me feel to justify why it's good to someone who can see from the outside - without rose-colored glasses - that it evidently isn't. It's very much a "you had to be there" type of thing.

Unfortunately, nowadays even the 'best' LO panels in S3 still don't come close to what the S1 panels accomplished - because for many of us, the rose-colored glasses are gone, we can't appreciate the good among the bad because we know now how bad it truly is and so the good just feels like wasted attempts at trying to recreate something it can no longer be. It "came back wrong" so to speak.

LO came back just regular. But our journey to resurrecting it changed us to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to us. Sorry dude.

This is still probably one of my favorite panels out of the entirety of S3 for being as close to "old LO" as I've seen since S2, and even it feels like a mistake, an accident, how could a panel like this exist in S3 when so much of it is a dumpster fire? It's like a flower growing in the ruins of an apocalyptic wasteland.

But wasn't that always the case? Isn't that 'always' what LO has been, since the very beginning? A poorly cobbled together mess of writing and panels that, every now and then, manages to leave an impression that makes you feel something? Did we ever truly know LO? Or have we just been relying entirely on an idea of it that we've built up in our heads that when it does do exactly what it's evidently always done (even if not made apparent until looking back on it in hindsight) we think it "came back wrong"?

[endemise]

long ramble, progress update, & potential release timeframe below:

hii! i got a lot of coding done and i think im finally satisfied with how the game looks (for now…)

here are some screenshots of what some of it will look like on mobile!

the friendship and romance levels shown in the relationship menu are just random as is the blurb for Aesop’s thoughts, they’re just for the example! (also characters thoughts are hidden by default, you click to reveal, then hide, them)

the stat bars were giving me hell but i finally figured them out with the the help of some forums and tumblr posts

i liked how in when twilight strikes by evertidings, the menu buttons (i.e. profile, stats, relationships) are listed at the top of the page so i took inspiration from that! and the many IFs that have a splash (?) screen at the beginning with the title

compared to when i started using twine (i think august 2023 was the first time i gave it a try), i’ve learned so much and there’s still so much to learn as well, i think coding has become my favorite part (making things looks pretty hehe)(with the help of amazing templates & ppl smarter than me, they do the heavy lifting fr)

with all the coding done (appearance wise) it’s lock in time for the revised prologue and chapter 1

the prologue has undergone a fair bit of change with the help of feedback & i’ve (hopefully) better established the setting and story.

some things that have changed besides wording and sentence structure, etc.: being able to choose what you did as a job (ex. working at the family inn) and meeting a new character (more like an old friend?)(no spoilers:))

some things i’ve been considering (SLIGHT SPOILER FOR CH.1 MAYBE): merging the revised prologue and chapter 1 into just the prologue bc chapter 1 differs a bit from the other chapters, but then the prologue would maybe be too strange timeframe wise? it’s a time skip after the events of the prologue (is that considered a spoiler, i don’t think so but???) that connects to the next chapters so maybe it’d just be better as its own chapter? or dropping the revised prologue by itself along with the updated ui/appearance then chapter 1 sometime after, or dropping the revised prologue and chapter 1 together, idk these are all just ideas i’ve been thinking about maybe i’ll do a poll

if you have anything you’d like to see, for example a specific job your MC worked, certain personality traits, or something like that, feel free to let me know & i’ll take them into consideration! i think now is the best time to add things bc it’s early development days & it’ll be easier to do so now than later

i’ve also decided to lean a little more into the supernatural aspect which i’m excited for (one specific thing really, i can’t wait to get to it🤭) the story’s world itself is fairly grounded in reality (as in the supernatural is unknown to most) but i’m looking forward to exploring it more

what you’re probably reading this for: depending on how i end up going about the prologue-chapter 1 merge decision & whether anything is added from requests/feedback, i’m aiming for a june release, july at the latest (fingers crossed). now that the appearance and function coding is complete (besides stat/choice tracking & other story related things), finishing the writing and coding it in is all that’s left

my schedule has done a 180 & some things are less than ideal at moment but it should all (hopefully) go smoothly from here! should anything change, i’ll let you all know

anyways, that’s all i have to say for now! ty for being patient & for reading this mess, i appreciate you all :)

[maskofenigma]

Fallen London's recurring topic of Love is really interesting to me as a sort of throughline between various stories and i want to ramble about discuss that briefly. i dont call it a theme because thematic statements are usually more complex than a single word, at least in my mind, but a lot of Fallen London's storylines incorporate love into their themes.

there's the obvious things ofc; the Manager and the King, the Duchess and the Canigaster, Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, the Bazaar's whole situation. Love is a common motivator that many people can relate to, so it's no surprise that it appears in this capacity. Even so, these instances also underpin a lot of the setting's character, particularly the latter two examples, explaining why the neath is the way it is. but if we broaden our horizons just a bit, you can start to see it appearing all over the place (though maybe thats just confirmation bias lol).

the youthful naturalist loves discovery and life, and evolution in that context is a story about what one is willing to endure and sacrifice for that love. Love is a constant theme in the Light Fingers storyline, between moon milk and poor Edward, but also shows in Mr Fires's love for London (strange and deleterious though it may be) and the protagonist's love for either the Hybrid they protected or the diamond they'd been after. I don't know as much about the other ambitions (yet), but Nemesis is all about avenging a loved one by any means necessary, and you could see Bag a Legend as a love for the hunt or a love of fame, though even i’ll admit thats a bit of a stretch. Idk about Heart's Desire i’m still working on it but there's probably something. Its literally about what your heart desires but there’s absolutely a deeper connection with the Marvellous and stuff. No spoilers i'm still working on it :3

i dont know a ton about SMEN's story either, but i know from a ludonarrative perspective that it tests the players love for their character, forcing you to ruin this silly victorian who you are presumably quite attached to in the search for knowledge (perhaps another kind of love?) With what little i know of it, i’d honestly be shocked if there wasn’t anything there. if ao3 has taught me anything, there was definitely some kind of love going on between those two space bats, but im not sure if ao3 is a reputable source in this specific instance

The Flukes are literally sick with love for lost Axile, and a lot of the Masters are shown yearning to return to the High Wilderness. Many of the Irem Destinies regard love in this way, love for the sun, for the liberation, for ones partner, for london, for the people of the neath, and on and on. im not very far along with the railway but im 100% certain itll crop up again there, whether with Furnace Ancona or the Efficient Commissioner or the masters or whatever else. same goes for the Exceptional Stories and the myriad tales ive yet to unlock. Weve started to see a glimmer of it in firmament, with the imminent lucifer fire guy, but i wasnt really sure what his deal was. the idea extends to the other Sunless games from what i know, though ive yet to play those. Mask of the Rose is a romance, so thats pretty clear cut; sunless skies seems to have a lot of content relating to Queen Victoria and Prince Albert; and sunless seas seems to have it present in a few storylines, though i couldnt point to anything specific at this time. even small things, such as the way that the railway steel seems drawn to Hell and the sorrowful properties of sphinxstone, makes for a setting that is inundated with longing and heartbreak in a fascinating way.

viewed through this lens, fallen london's perspective on love is tragically earnest: love is painful and unfair and yet so very necessary. as someone who's aromantic and a hater, i call that an L. but from a thematic perspective its very interesting how often this occurs and how it connects a lot of fallen london. In so many other narratives, love is a conclusion, a reward or climax. In fact, mass media seems allergic to depicting an active and healthy relationship, and instead relegates such matters to a single ceremonious kiss. But for fallen london, a game where kisses are currency and romance is taxed, the concept of love is afforded such an interesting amount of care and reverence. Fitting for a setting wherein the insisting incidents all relate to love in some way or another

it may be comedic and at times quite absurd, but fallen london to me is a game deeply concerned with love and its influence on people. and idk i think thats interesting. if you're looking for the theme or message of a given fallen london story, look to love, always.

does that count as a thesis? i certainly dont know

[rikunih]

I know this has been talked about like a million times already but i just can't stop thinking about it, and I'm losing sleep. Sooo i'll just keep parroting the same old stuff to get it out of my system, hehe.

The whole talking with Anna scene is so potent in its soriku parallels it's crazy. Even Sora himself brings attention to this. I want to bring up Anna singing this very specific part of do you wanna build a snowman. It gives such a good insight on how sora feels about Riku.

Sora wants to be close to Riku just like they used to, but he can't quite reach him.

Riku won't let him in. He keeps a wall between them. Sora doesn't understand why he does this. Which makes him confused and even a bit sad.

Sora wants to be there for him, to reach him and understand why Riku is so sad, but is unable to. due to a lot of stuff...like Riku having his guard up, a war and...uhh a romance fruit?? Little things like that. He also tends to forget a lot of things and keeps fucking dying or falling into a coma. Not helping his case at all unfortunately.

This sort of distance between them has been there since the 1st game but to me it seems to have grown especially by the end of Kingdom hearts 3. They still are in much better terms now. They fight along each other and are besties again after all. Two reeds are stronger than one or whatever the emperor of China said.

There's still a lot of unspoken things between them that need to be said, so a conversation is long over due. (Nomura please just let them talk things over for Christ sake It's been over 20 years!!!).

My train of thought ended here and i don't know how to end this...so uhh soriku kiss in kh4 BYEEE!!!!

Edit: i made so many typos its embarrassing

Ps. Also not to reach or anything (totally reaching) the last few lines of the song reminds me of Sora's breakdown at the keyblade graveyard.

[licorice-and-rum]

My response to some "critics" about Babel

Okay, I'm gonna start by saying this: English is not my first language so I may commit some spelling and grammar mistakes here but I felt like I just had to write this down, especially because of the negative reviews this book has that just… didn't get it.

Don't get me wrong, of course you're allowed to not like this book, I recognize that it's most certainly not gonna be everyone's cup of tea but some of the people here just didn't get what this book was all about. Babel isn't a fantasy like ACOTAR, or HP, or whatever (in the sense that, for those, the story guides the message while Babel is the contrary): like many classical books, Babel was written to make a point, it's a romance, sure, but it was written to argue for something - the necessity of violence.

So, first of all: Babel is a historical fantasy, it talks about colonialism, racism, sexism, and other matters with no qualms, no embellishing to make it digestible, no allegories or metaphors because this isn't the point. Kuang's "lack of nuance" as someone here pointed out is very deliberate and extremely important for the story because the points she wants to make are always lost in nuance (just think how many people go on misinterpreting Star Wars, Hunger Games, or even anti-system songs like The Wall ffs), and the message is too important to get lost in allegories.

Second, as to the story, many people seem to think what she's pointing out is obvious "ur dur colonialism is bad, we get it". No, you clearly don't. There's a profound difference between getting it and actually comprehending it to an elemental level. Robin's travel to Canton illustrates that perfectly: he knew that colonialism was bad, he knew it was violent but he didn't comprehend it until he was forced to face it happening in front of him - to people who could've been easily him. More than that, because that was when he finally connected the theory with the reality, it became palpable to him.

It's not enough to get it, you have to actually stay attuned to it, to feel the flow of its violence throughout the world because then, and only then, I'll realize you can't be complacent, you can't turn your head from it. And Babel is an attempt, however tiny, of showing this to you. Of telling you "Look, you're ignoring it, the discomfort you felt reading this is your conscience telling you you relate to that". So no, I refuse to accept that Kuang should have been more nuanced: she was as clear as she could because she knows people say they get it but they don't, not really.

Third, the magical system is just chef's kiss. I've seen many people complaining about it but the thing is: the silver working is not about having magic in the world, it's about creating a palpable, material place where Kuang could center her attention as she talked about the economic aspect of colonialism. That's because colonial power is not centered in one place or thing, it is scattered all around but you can't hardly make a point like Babel's if you have your characters fighting off colonialism in all corners of the world. Like the Capital in the Hunger Games, Babel is a material place that symbolizes something.

Moreover, the silver working symbolizes the Industrial Revolution and its need for the advance of colonialism. More than that, silver-working is about capital, it's about technology to generate more profit, quicker, for a specific class that doesn't care who they have to kill to continue, doesn't care whether it is good or bad for the common folk.

Fourth, many people pointed out how academic Kuang's writing style felt during Babel and they're right, it is indeed very identifiable. I'm sure I even commented something along the lines of "it feels like I'm having the best History lesson of all time". But I'm going to challenge people who say things against the notion that the historical description of Kuang was unnecessary: every time Kuang chose to give the readers historical context has served somehow to the narrative.

I remember early on in the book when Robin was still a teen walking through London and reading anything he could put his hands on, and then we get two paragraphs of historical and political context for the time, then Robin comments that he didn't understand why this mattered so much. That paragraph served so much, both because it made us know a little more about Robin and because it served to make us understand the profound environmental change England was going through at the time.

And every time she did this, it served for something. Again, Babel is a historical fantasy, it is supposed to make you think about the point Kuang is trying to make but you won't understand it if you don't know the context of which Robin and the other characters in the book are coming from. It was a time of decision: either England would consolidate itself as an almost all-powerful oppressor, or it could go down… if the oppressed people - who share a common enemy - understood their responsibility to do something.

The strikes of the English working class, the violent acts of rioters, the advancement in technology, the possibility of the Opium War, the colonialism… it's all important. It's important because it allows us to understand the deep connection between it all. It allows us to understand who profits off of it, and who doesn't; who is able to understand and who isn't. It's why Letty is upper-class. It's why Abel isn't.

It's not as simple as some people think to understand colonialism, the flows through which one thing is tied to another. Why do people ask "How does this affect me?" when we point out deeply unfair things like unpaid maternity leave (I actually saw an American once saying she "wouldn't want her tax money to go to someone who didn't plan through"), like the fact people starve when we have the ability to feed a world and a half, of that Palestine is going through ethnic cleansing? Because they are unable to understand how closely their lives are tied to other peoples they have never met and probably never will.

Kuang's message is not "colonialism is bad", she's saying "These are all the forms through which colonialism is bad to everyone but a few, do something about it", she's saying "Every single one of your struggles is tied together in more ways than you even understand. A person in Haiti, in China, in India, in the other side of the world, has more to do with you than these white rich people, fight with them, stand with them."

Fifth, I can't believe I gotta say this but I'm not going to even bother with you if you think this book is somehow "anti-white": just get over your main character syndrome. We're talking about a historical fantasy set in England in the epitome of colonialism through the eyes of a person of color. Of course, most white people are gonna be bad, get over yourself ffs!

The actual entitlement to the protagonism white people have is maddening. As a white woman (in Brazil, at least), I'm ashamed of some comments here. It's not because white people in this book are majorly racist (which, according to the setting is 100% accurate) that Kuang is talking about you (although, if you're so bothered by it, it's probably about you anyway). This is a book about the experience of people of color under the oppression of colonialism: white people are the problem!

You can't just expect someone to write about colonialism and not talk majorly about race. White people reap all the privileges of this system and not just that, they are responsible for it, and all the crying about being the bad guys is just insufferable (they're actually so right about having to console Letty once she learns about the racism they suffer).

Be f*ing accountable for your privileges, take responsibility for your internalized racism, and be accountable for the system that privileges you. It doesn't matter that it wasn't your fault, that you didn't set up the system, you still benefit from it anyway so get a grip. This story isn't about you at all, it isn't about how some white people fought against slavery or oppression, it isn't about you.

Let's be very clear about this: most white people who fought against slavery did so to serve their own interests, exactly as Kuang points out. This doesn't mean none of them were good people who actually believed slavery was bad but we're talking of a time when racism and racial discrimination weren't even discussed seriously. Most white people, even the ones against slavery would have a deeply ingrained racism in them, so get real.

More than that, though: if those people who actually have no shame in saying Babel is "anti-white" had actually read the book through, they would know that some white people actually help and are good people in the story.

Anyway, Babel is so good, it's so painfully real and so passionately well-written. You can feel Kuang's love for her people, the struggles of what it means to love something but still not be a part of it, the deep understanding of how the world works, and how intricately every single thing in our lives is.

I just felt so heard (as a person from a third-world country) reading Babel, like someone was telling me all this rage and indignation I feel is justified, it's valid. I just treasured it so much, how I identified with Robin's need for security contrasting with his indignation for the price of it; with the rage Griffin carried around him, sharpened and well-directed even in its volition; with the love Victoire had to learn to have for her country and its story; with all the pain I was able to share with someone who understood it.

It's an honor to allow words to change me so fundamentally. It's humbling to realize I'm not alone, that my actions and my feelings are shared by other people. It is really precious, you know, to be able to become a better person than I was before because of a book.

[mamasplat]

i was on vacation- the aggression chart???? lmao

nicee 👍👍 loving the work

also the themed playthroughs seem fun :)

Oh I’m having a great time with my true calem run, just got through shalour city

And while I’ve yet to piece together the aggression chart I will use this as an opening to break down the relationship chart that started as an unholy consequence of me trying to fit calem into anime plots

Starting from the top:

Shauna having feelings for Calem is something that is laid on very thick in the firework scene. Anime wise I almost linked Shauna to Serena too but I ended up backing off the idea because I was lacking evidence.

Tierno, i don’t think i need to explain this much if you’ve watched the anime, his crush on Serena was something he was very open about.

Miette, I actually don’t think she had a thing for Ash, like at all, she does not try to pursue him at all in the anime she just likes to talk about it, it’s a tool to get under Serena’s skin. But that alone would make her a valued piece of the unholy love triangle amalgamation so I added her to the chart.

Calem, specifically, Rival Calem: okay I think I need to explain this one a little more blatantly. Calem’s character arc cannot exist without Serena. His entire journey is dedicated to her mere existence, and pokemon masters really hammers home how important she is to him. She is the blueprint to his every move and step forward because in his mind she deserves better than he can offer so he will fight to be better. The way he talks about her when she isn’t around is unapologetic admiration and I cannot ignore the writing on the wall. He likes her. He’s got it bad.

Serena, specifically anime Serena of course. Her emotional attachment to Ash isn’t just surface level like Tiernos attraction to her, being around Ash gave her the courage to be herself, to stand up to her mom and make her own future, to keep going even when she’s lost and lost hard. She used Ash as a moral compass to keep her head in the game and that only strengthened her connection to him. The end of the series kiss scene was far from unwelcomed, it was over due.

Ash….this boy is oblivious as shit. I’m sorry Serena was not sly nor slick she fumbled at every turn and you STILL didn’t know??? I and from what I can see, many other fans, have come to the only conclusion that Ash just doesn’t do romance. He has ignored so many clear cut love interests and left them one sided because he doesn’t recognize or want romance. He just wants to be the best like no one ever was, love isn’t on his mind, therefore he is clueless to the love induced war going on around him. He is an unintentional ladies man.

And ALLLL of that is just the information i collected from rewatching the whole of X&Y while also replaying through pokemon X and ALSO going through pokemas events. Its all connected, i haven’t done anything else with my free time, its all kalos baby. ALL KALOS.

Blame Pokemon ZA being announced (I say as if I hadn’t started this before that)

[js589]

💘 fake relationship / mutual pining / dared to kiss rayllum? 👀

I finally finished it! Been dealing with sick kiddos, so not much time to write. 😓

This takes place in a continuity where Harrow, for whatever reason (probably Sarai's influence, let's be honest) reached out and started peace talks with the Moonshadow elves... and it kinda worked! He and Sarai are still very much alive. There's definitely still very tentative trust on all sides, but one of the things they decided on, for whatever reason (read: I think bodyguard romance is cute) is that they'd do a kind of guard exchange and see if they could find someone the princes vibed with.

I am gonna say they're more their post-timeskip ages here because I don't see the Moonshadow elves sending a 15-year-old, even a prodigy, but they sent her as an assassin in canon, so 🤷🏼‍♀️

(ask game can be found here)

-----------

What am I even doing?

Rayla marveled at the idiocy that had led her to this point. Most of it hadn't been hers.

Most of it.

It was usually Soren or Callum who started trouble. When it wasn't them, it was Ezran, except on one memorable occasion when the Crow Master had excitedly demanded a demonstration of her abilities. Rayla had—stupidly—obliged, stepped into moonlight... And every single bird in the loft had lost its mind, including Seluna, the crescent hawk that Rayla used to communicate with her family back home. (Her father had returned her next communication saying that Seluna was bred for speed rather than intelligence, and it showed.)

Much as Rayla would have liked to blame anyone else, it truly was her own fault for developing a crush on a prince (not by blood, not that that seemed to matter) of Katolis. This whole guard exchange had been a stupid idea, not that she'd ever tell King Harrow that. Sure, fostering trust after so many generations of animosity was all well and good, but an elf even thinking about romance with a human prince? She'd be sent back home, and she wasn't sure she'd be all in one piece. There was no way for her to get a different assignment either. No; she'd been sent specifically because the princes seemed to elude every other guard they were given, and King Harrow and Queen Sarai had thought that a bodyguard closer to their age might develop a better rapport.

Well, it had worked quite well. Too well, where Callum was concerned. Even Soren had noticed. Perhaps it was his responsibility to notice when someone was trying to get too close, but if his goal was to prevent that, this certainly wasn't a good way to address it. If Soren were anyone else, Rayla would suspect an underhanded, brilliant plot to get her sent back to the Silvergrove for good. As it was, she suspected he missed being able to torment his sister, who was currently studying magic in Xadia. Would he have dared his sister to kiss Callum like he had dared Rayla? Claudia would probably have had the nerve to on her own, if she was anything like Soren.

Hurried footsteps at the other end of the hall pulled her attention from her thoughts.

"Rayla! Rayla, I figured it out!" Callum was beaming.

He was always on about something these days. He'd wanted to go study magic instead of Claudia, but he'd been deemed both too inexperienced and too much of a target. Even the peace with the Moonshadow elves was tenuous. He'd settled for pestering Rayla to explain it to him instead. She hadn't considered herself to be any kind of teacher, and she'd sighed more than once that she'd been brought in as a guard and not a governess, but Callum was persistent.

She had to admit he was also bright. He'd been able to piece together what Rayla said with what he'd learned from letters Claudia had sent and the scant few books in the library that had anything useful to say, and while he hadn't been successful at forging a connection on his own, he'd been able to use the materials Xadia was willing to trade to the human kingdoms—mostly rocks and a few plants—in ways Rayla hadn't thought of before.

He'd been working on several projects recently. One of them must have worked out. If nothing else, it was bound to be interesting.

Rayla blinked, remembering she was actually supposed to ask. "Figured... what out?"

Callum grabbed her arm and dragged her over to a window. "Look!" He stepped into the moonlight and sketched a rune in the air. "Vitreus."

He didn't go completely invisible, but if someone wasn't looking carefully, they wouldn't see him.

Rayla was already imagining the myriad ways this could go wrong.

"It doesn't really work if I'm not in moonlight—" Callum stepped forward and he mostly reappeared, but slightly blurry "—but I can do something that you can do!"

Rayla wanted to point out that he'd already capably performed several small spells beyond any ability she had, but that wasn't the point. Callum's infectious enthusiasm had her smiling back at him, anyway.

It had her heart pounding, too.

Maybe if she just did it now, when the time felt right, he'd never know it was a dare? She wanted to do it anyway—Soren was annoyingly right about that—so it wasn't as though she was doing it out of malice...

Nobody had to see them, she realized. Rayla yanked Callum back into the moonlight, waiting only just long enough to be sure he'd disappeared again before she leaned in and pressed her lips against his for just a moment. She drew back quickly, careful to stay in the light of the moon.

"Did you just... Was that..." Callum blinked. "Rayla, did you mean that? Like, did you mean that?"

She should have shoved him back out of the moonlight so she could see him clearly. She thought his voice was hopeful, but she couldn't be sure she wasn't just imagining it. He had taken her hands in his, though, which seemed to be a good sign. "Yeah, I did," she said quietly.

Callum sighed, and Rayla could hear his grin in his voice. "Oh, that's a relief, because Soren told me I should if I wanted to but I didn't think you actually wanted to and—" he was cut off as Rayla pulled him back in for another kiss.

After a long and rather pleasant moment, she drew back just far enough to speak. "Right now, less talk and more kissing."

She was glad Callum had never been particularly picky about his status or title. She was ordering a prince to kiss her!

He was, apparently, entirely willing to oblige. If only I'd known.

Well, she knew now. There were certainly still bound to be hurdles, but this, at least, was simple enough, and for the moment, Rayla was content with it.