#item descriptions

[despair-tea]

An old writing prompt: describe 10 swords under certain limitations, try not to repeat descriptors.

10 swords -no more than 20 words -no starting with the same word -name of the sword is part of the 20 words

1) Scimitar — Slices and dices! Not for kitchen use.

2) Cutlass — Cuts lads as well. Beloved by brigands.

3) Hawk's Talon — Once used by a hero who could do a three-hit air combo (combo skill not included).

4) Excavator — Some say this wide, flat blade was once used to unearth lost treasures.

5) Cemetery — It's been bandaged up, but it still cuts like a dream.

6) Wooden Sword — Never leave home without it! Your mom wishes you would cut it out.

7) Pincushion — Awkwardly named for what the opponent will become when you unleash a flurry of stabs with this weapon.

8) Kitchen Knife — Lovingly honed before every use, this knife will last you ages… in the kitchen.

9) Ladle — Shockingly hot to the touch. Blow on it first, or you'll burn your tongue!

10) Mara's Embrace — Gifted by the Demon King, it never leaves your side… for better or worse.

11) Nameless Edge — An unsigned katana, the kind exported en masse to appeal to a certain crowd.

12) Blue Devil — One cut can chill its victims to the bone. Two cuts and they're basically popsicles!

13) Flamberge — Despite the name, it has no flame-based powers. Has a cool, wavy edge.

14) Epee — Longer and heavier than other fencing swords, this model was modified by its last user.

15) Lil Cactus — What a cute lil guy! Doesn't mind you swinging him around.

16) Triplicate — Two blades not cutting it? We've got you covered. Hits thrice in one attack.

17) Three-Handed Sword — For guys who don't like to be outdone by Triple Swordsmen. Can be wielded in two hands.

18) Crowspike — Blackened by heat and bearing a wicked point, this icepick has a sinister presence.

19) Bronze Longsword — Balanced weapon for new adventurers. The large crossguard makes it easy to parry with.

20) Soulbiter — Cursed like you wouldn't believe. Retrieved from the fallen Black Knight, but its eyes still move…

21) Laser Blade — Hold the wide end away from you and flip the switch. Bwooom! Make sure to keep it charged.

22) Kukri — This forward-curving blade is excellent for cutting through foliage and a favorite for those bored by machetes.

23) Photon Saber — Bahamut's blessing has imbued this bladeless hilt with a miraculous blade of light.

24) Comet Knife — Forged out of meteor steel in the mountain town of Biwa. Possesses a dazzling, oily sheen.

25) Brave Blade — A true hero's sword! Gets weaker if the wielder has ever fled from battle.

26) Ballista — Greenswallow the Phalanx made his debut in battle by swinging around this siege weapon with a bayonet.

27) Flesh Diver — Twitches eerily in your hand. The blade snaps apart and leaps towards its prey before returning.

28) Fruitsbane — Tools like this are commonly used to peel apples or chop bananas.

29) Spatha — Leaves symbolize the boundless gift of life. As such, the decorative wreathe supplies its owner with increased stamina.

30) Tenfold Oaths — Flexibility is the pride of a knight. Squires can only draw out a few of its myriad forms.

[shining-tili]

Since the "I-did-a-10-pull-and-got-a-barely-visible-bow-accessory" event is back, I feel like it's a good time to bring up this screenshot.

Is it talking about Xiaolong??? Lol

[mangledskull]

(Older art) one time I did a practice where I gave certain items from my original story some descriptions similar to a soulsborne game :^)

[artesianalpondscum]

THIS IMAGE OFF AMAZON IS SENDING ME

i was looking for a magnifying glass that was all brass and THIS was the A+ content that was in the listing

"MAGNIFY YOUR GOD NOT YOUR PROBLEMS"

like yall its a magnifying glass its not that deep 😭😭😭😭

[evenlyevi]

Girls' night

[sheepwithspecs]

these poor creatures

[quad-weave]

I love a good item description LOL

[v-iv-rusty]

I think about the ds3 wolf knight armor description every day

[spursthatjinglejanglejingle]

[timdoubleyou]

i found jay’s black jacket (an ID guide)

This black jacket is worn by Jay about 9 times throughout Marble Hornets, including his final appearance. And after some weeks of on-and-off research, I think I know the exact make and model.

This post will detail exactly how I found it, and serve as a guide for anyone that wants to find the jacket, whether that's for cosplay purposes, or if you're just keen on collecting items related to MH.

Main post under the cut

Intro

The first step to identifying the jacket was to gather as many references as possible.

I went back to the web series and took screenshots from any entries the jacket makes an appearance. (shoutout to mg549′s very comprehensive MH wardrobe guide, without it this would’ve been much more of a pain)

Jay's jacket is, for the most part, very plain. It's a solid color, full-zip jacket, without any particularly eye-catching logos or other details. I had to look for moments where even the slightest distinction appeared clear on camera, at least as distinct as it can be. Even if it was just close-ups to get the shape of a zipper, or how many buttons are on a sleeve, it was the best I got. While I did manage to find a decent amount of these, there was just one crucial detail that would've made finding it near-impossible; the brand is never shown. Thankfully, I had another resource.

In 2018 Troy Sold a Lot of Stuff

In early 2018, Troy officially announced that MH would be continued in a comic series. To fund the first issue, he held a number of auctions for production items used during the web series on Ebay.

These included items such as Jay’s camera, Brian’s hoodie, A Masky mask, and Jay’s black jacket.

Lo and behold, the jacket listing includes a picture with the brand in clear view. It's from Gap.

Ebay does not archive sold listings older than 90 days. However, Worthpoint, a website for valuing and pricing collectibles, does. Using Worthpoint I was able to find all of these items, (and a lot more, which can be found in this doc I submitted to Archive Hornets)

Identification

With the picture from the listing and the series screencaps, I had a complete ID list.

(Top image is from the Ebay listing, with the contrast adjusted a little for easier viewing. The bottom two images are from Entry #79)

The Gap logo (This specific logo dates the jacket being made anywhere between 1986 and 2009, when it first appears).

Front Zipper (Note the shape)

The two front pockets

The two buttons and pointed cuffs on each sleeve (Second one is a little hard to see but it's jusstt peeping out at the side)

The blue piping in the inner lining

The zipper in the right side inner lining

The gray mesh inner lining

With these in mind, I could now go to the next and longest step-

Finding the Jacket

I combed three resell sites; Ebay, Depop, and Poshmark. My main goal wasn't to actually purchase the jacket, (although, I would like to at some point) but to find a jacket listing that had every identifier, and have a more definite baseline for finding others. I needed to be sure what I had was enough to properly ID the jacket. The references I had stitched together were decent enough, but I wanted to see if there was something better out there.

After tons of page scrolling and tab-switching and comparing and contrasting, I finally got lucky.

(first two images are from crashthecloset's listing on poshmark, last six are from shannfo-76 on ebay)

I haven't bought one myself as of posting, but I feel pretty confident this is it. The jackets were already sold, but every marker seemed to be accounted for. It also revealed new ones, like the reflective pattern and pockets on the inner lining, (zipper on the right side pocket, button on the left pocket) and the materials tag.

With that, here's some final notes that may be helpful if you try looking for the jacket yourself:

Online sellers often describe it as a light jacket, a windbreaker, a 2-in-1, or 3-in-1.

"Gap Mens Black Jacket" is the search phrase I used the most since it yielded a (very) broad result pool.

Most of the jackets I found came from Poshmark or Ebay.

The exact size of Jay’s jacket is unclear. My best guesses are either a US Men’s S or M, since Jay was pretty skinny and of average height. I’ve only been able to find maybe 2 jackets that are a size M, one of which is the first pic in the photoset above.

Gap has sold other black jackets that look remarkably similar to Jay’s, and they do pop up on resell sites. One of these was so similar, the only discernible difference was the style of the logo. I highly recommend making sure it matches the exact one Jay had before purchasing. (It's also more than fine to ask/msg me if you have any doubts!) As long as you know what to look for, you shouldn’t have a problem finding at least one.

One detail that confounded me was this sleeve poking out of Jay's jacket. At first I thought he was wearing a long sleeve underneath, making this shot a continuity error since he appeared to Only be wearing the green short sleeve under the jacket.

@hivemite pointed out that this might be a two-in-one jacket, which has multiple layers for different types of weather. While I have not been able to see the sleeve outside of two shots in entry #79 and #80, one listing I found did describe it as a 3-in-1.

that's about it! hope this helps :)

[mailperson]

Imagine if Malenia hadn’t been told about the whole realm of shadow business

[slavonicrhapsody]

Blasphemous Claw

“A slab of rock engraved with traces of the Rune of Death. Can deflect the power of the Black Blade.

On the night of the dire plot, Ranni rewarded Praetor Rykard with these traces. Should the coming trespass one day transpire, they would serve as a last-resort foil, allowing Rykard to challenge Maliketh the Black Blade, the black beast of Destined Death.”

[hemi-demi]

Art for my new one-shot: Take our Time

Jon orders something online, but he may have bitten off more than he can chew. Luckily for him, Martin is very patient.

What's in the box? Find out below the cut!

(CW: Suggestive/NSFW)

[tlgtw]

Bits and pieces of the still incredibly written backstory of Elden Ring continue to poke out from the dogwater, as it were.

St. Trina, as we learn, was a specific aspect of Miquella that was made separate: In Miquella's words, St Trina was the embodiment of his 'love.' And when he abandoned St Trina, he abandoned that aspect of himself that made her.

This newly introduced example reveals to us what the nature of Radagon's exactly was, in turn.

Radagon, the 'other half' of Marika in the exact same way that St Trina had been for Miquella, we learn here, had *himself* been a specific singular aspect of Marika's emotions or feelings.

With St Trina having been made out of Miquella's 'love.'

You wonder, too, what Radagon should have been made from.

What aspect of herself did Marika separate into her second person, as called by her the "Loyal Dog of the Golden Order"? We know Radagon was created prior to the creation of the Golden Order itself, since he was involved in the invasion of Liurnia.

So at the same time as Marika was married to Godfrey, begetting Godwyn and Mogh and Morgott. Radagon was married to Renalla, begetting Rykard and Radahn and raising the potential successor of Marika--the Empyrean Ranni. He was given a massive amount of responsibility, the seeming crux of the Liurnian-Leyndell alliance that ended the Liurnian Wars that Marika's empire was losing, and he by every account was completely dedicated and successful; even weakening the strength of the Carian royal family by reducing their practicing of astrology.

All yet, when push came to shove: After Godwyn was assassinated and Marika sought to destroy the Elden Ring. It was Radagon who dropped everything he had and stepped in to stop her.

"Proudly" as his Golden Order Greatsword says,

Radagon divorced his first wife, married his 'original self,' begettedthe Twin Prodigies Miquella and Malenia as two more potential successors to Queen Marika, set up the brutal inquisition and censorship of the Age of Radagon headed by his own son Rykard, and was even involved with the very the development of Golden Order fundamentalism!

Radagon did so much fucking stuff! He was so damn proactive! So what exactly must he have been!?

That Marika initially separated from herself? And who went on to try and stop her very own plans when they turned against the wishes of the Greater Will??

This conflicting 'half' of her original person! That nonetheless was all this strongly willed on his own!?

What part of Marika COULD Radagon have originally been!?!?!?

And it's awesome. It's really really well-designed writing.

Frankly, even, it's genius. It's not anything revolutionary in terms of narrative devices or anything like that, but it's really elegant. It's really meaningful and concise, and it's really cool!!!

A lot of Elden Ring's base game is, or now maybe--was. (It having been the basis of my entire show on YouTube.)

But the actual story, instead of solely the backstory, of the DLC, unfortunately, is not!

You ever seen a boss item whose entire description was literally entirely the game just fucking QUOTING ITSELF?

Hyetta at Frenzied Flame Proscription: "Become their lord. Take their torment, despair. Their affliction. Every sin, every curse. And melt it all away. As the Lord of Chaos."

Ghost outside Church of Inhibition in Liurnia: "Ahh, Lord Vyke, it seems that you were no lord, after all."

Midras's Flame of Frenzy, from killing Midras, Lord of Frenzied Flame:

Or! Better yet, ANOTHER boss spell, whose entire description is dedicated to literally just acknowledging its fucking colour!!

Land of Shadows, from killing the Scadutree Avatar:

I definitely sure wish I still hadn't!!

In fact, I don't think the level of vacuousness from Shadow of the Erdtree's descriptions has ever been seen before!

Not even in Dark Souls 3!!

AUGH

[wilchur]

yes larian, do keep fuelling my "Durge was the one who made Sceleritas, but Bhaal twisted him into yet another way to manipulate them" delusions

[tikvin]

Since I started with Eshra, let me share her clothes too

Adventuring armour that I imagine would be her specific set, that you would be able to gather during the game. Kinda like those barbarian sets or drow armour set, but specific for her "basic" class and abilities and benefit her. Pieces are scattered mostly in act 2 and 3

Regular clothes that she has on when you meet her in game

Camp/sleeping clothes

And fancy clothes she wears in epilogue party