#it... it wasn't supposed to be like this
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moonscape · 1 month ago
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cait-sith · 22 days ago
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Day 12: Core
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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marisashinx · 3 months ago
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"Why hasn't Silver woken up yet...?"
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months ago
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 4.5: Morning Period.
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5)
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maiaczy · 9 months ago
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Uuuhhhh finally a blog of culture. I love the diversity of your drawings and your sketches are so clean😔🙏
Can you draw Polnareff and Sherry together? I want to see this man happy🥺
Thank you so much!! And absolutely, this guy deserves happiness after all the Horrors Araki put him through
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bunnieswithknives · 2 months ago
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Obsessed with his brain
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furrybydaygaybynight · 2 months ago
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homoerotic gun violence
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do I even have to explain?
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nnobodoodles · 8 months ago
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couldn't put the images in the tags or a reply and didn't want to junk the reblogs needlessly but if you were still thinking about op screencap redraws... this smoker specifically has been on my mind. mans is just vibin'.
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He really is! Just laying in the sun with a nice cup of coffee ✨☕ Thank you so much for the ask! Will include him in his regular outfit next time I do a batch so I thought, why not do both? These screenshots are golden, kinda combined them because I like how he looks more relaxed in the manga panel.
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radiance1 · 5 months ago
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A large, black flower bud rose from the ground, slowly opening up to reveal a young woman who slowly stepped down. The edges of her long, black gown seeming to slither across the grass as she moved forward and placed a hand upon a sleeping dragon's snout, rousing it from its slumber.
Toxic green eyes opened slowly, staring at the woman before its pupils slowly dilated. Letting out a slight purr it rubbed against the woman's hand, who only let out a smile as she loving rubbed the dragon's snout.
"There're intruders within our forest." She whispered, pressing her forehead against the dragon's face, eyes downcast. "They have someone with them, who can control plants as well. At my level or, perhaps, even higher."
The woman sighed and the dragon rubbed its snout against her, causing her to let out a small chuckle. "I know, I know. Not my fault." She murmured, staring at its glowing white scales that emitted a soft light even in the sunlight. "Just, please. Do not try to take them on yourself."
A soft growl interrupted her, and the woman huffed. "Yes, yes. I know you're strong. But we can't risk losing you." She paused for a moment, staring into the dragon's eyes with a half-lidded gaze before adding on quietly. "You already know what happened to Vlad."
The dragon grew quiet, contemplating.
Not for the first time, Sam noted how lucky Vlad was, to have gained the revival ability of the Pheonix after becoming.
Otherwise...
"We don't need you grabbing their attention again." Her gaze grew steely, staring down and holding the gaze of the mighty beast before her. "It was only a stroke of luck, even with his brilliance, that Vlad managed to come back. You can't revive yourself, so don't take risks you can avoid."
This time it was the dragon's turn to huff, gaze trailing off to stare at a certain scar on its body before turning away. Sam caught his stare, but chose not to say anything as she stepped away.
"Stay here. I'll deal with them." She turned away, sprouting an open flower bud that she soon stepped onto. She turned slightly, staring at the dragon as its eyes slipped shut and quickly slipping back into slumber.
She looked away with a determined expression, petals closing around her as the flower sank into the ground.
They already lost Danny once, they couldn't lose him again.
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meongppangz · 6 months ago
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JEONGIN in "락 (樂) (LALALALA)" Stages
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artkaninchenbau · 21 days ago
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For the record, I did figure that out a long time ago, it just gets funnier the more time passes
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flamestar126 · 6 months ago
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Don't let the robot teach you Irken
(Click for better quality)
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bora-panda · 8 months ago
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The Dark King and his lieutenant 👑⚔️
I read the Dark Rise books and they're taking over my entire brain - so I had to draw Sarcean and Anharion
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stardustedknuckles · 1 month ago
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Listening to the Matron talk about the previous god of death cements for me the idea that Vax was always meant to have more time before she made good on their deal. She didn't mean for him to know the same eternal separation and grief she had taken upon herself - that she had chosen with eyes wide open. He was supposed to have time and happiness with Keyleth. Maybe even time beyond a natural lifespan, though that's probably pushing it a little. To the max of said lifespan at the very least. She didn't want for him - or for keyleth - what she had been through, but her hand was forced, and the only way to give him back in any capacity was to take away what should have been. His fate was to become her champion, yes, but there was time to live first. That fate was changed as a gift. It was all she could allow as the keeper of her domain and arguably, her mortality is what led her to give it at all.
Yes. She hears the sounds of grief and loss unending, unceasing. Death is less than nothing to her and the sum of who she is. She is synonymous to death in many ways, though she refers to herself as its steward and rightfully so.
But I think what sets her apart is that she never grows numb to it. That mask is to hide the fact that all of it still affects her. It's to hide all of it - her loneliness, yes, but also that she feels every death. She hears every cry, every curse, every regret. She stands before every soul individually and does what she must, and she wears the mask so that she can do so without giving anything of her mortal feelings away. The dead do not need to know that she cares, that she understands. Death is not about her. It is about who is standing in front of her waiting to be ushered into the beyond. She is the great reuniter, forever separated from the one she loves.
So yes. I believe that Vax was always meant to have more time, right up until time was the only thing left to barter. His fate was to die after a long and happy life, to go peacefully and take up the mantle at her side when he was done on Exandria.
But that had to change to save the fate of the world, and nobody in this realm or any other knows better the loss and the grief that came about from cutting that time short. Vax wasn't meant to understand it either. She wanted better for him and, by extension, keyleth.
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hychlorions · 2 years ago
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this came to me in a dream
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