#and now his selfish wish may result into never seeing that little boy he raised for all these years never wake up again? it just isnt fair

[marisashinx]

"Why hasn't Silver woken up yet...?"

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers Lunatic Parade Special Pamphlet Short Story: The 12 Vampires and the Magic Lamp [ENG Translation]

Original title: １２人のヴァンパイアと魔人のランプ

Source: Diabolik Lovers Lunatic Parade Limited Edition Special Pamphlet

Summary: After the Parade has come to an end, Yui receives a special ‘Magic Lamp’ from Count Walter’s butler which can be used to grant a single wish. As she tries to refuse the gift, the Sakamaki, Mukami and Tsukinami brothers promptly stop her and begin to fight over who has the right to use this valuable treasure. She escapes, but the boys chase her around the city, each of them determined to have their own wish granted. ーー And so, their game of tag begins.

“Chichinashi! Where are you hidin’!?”

“Oooi~ Bitch-chan~! Be a good girl and show yourself?”

With the Parade having come to an end, Ayato-kun and Laito-kun’s voices echo through a now quiet and nearly deserted Glimmer Street. While hiding in the shadow of the buildings, a sof sigh fell from my lips. 

“...What to do? I have to hurry and go to Bernstein Castle...”

Right now, I am on the run not only from Ayato-kun and Laito-kun, but from a total of 12 different Vampires. 

All of this happened because I obtained the golden, shimmering ‘magic lamp’ I’m currently holding in my hands.

ーー It happened after I managed to regain my heart with everyone’s help.

As I was about to leave this city to return to the Human World, I was approached by a butler working for Count Walter. He handed me this ‘Magic Lamp’ as an apology for the trouble his Master had caused me. According to what I was told, it is an extremely valuable treasure which will grant any one wish.

Furthermore...The Sakamaki, Mukami and Tsukinami brothers were there to witness the whole ordeal.

“I just can’t accept something so valuable. ...I’ll give this back to you, okay?”

As I said that in hope of returning to Bernstein castle afterwards, they stopped me in disbelief. 

And then claimed that if I did not want it, they would use it instead. ...This resulted into a fight and before they knew it, I had made a run for it, taking the lamp with me.

ーー And that is how our game of tag started.

I am not quite sure what everyone would wish for, but I believe we don’t need this thing if it can fulfill one person’s wish only.

“Heeh...So that’s your reasoning. Well, I’m pretty sure it’s useless though...”

“ーー S-Shuu-san...!?”

“Not just Shuu. I’m here too. Geez, you really made us go through the trouble of lookin’ for you.”

When I raised my head, Subaru-kun was standing next to me as well. ...No, it wasn’t just the two of them. All of the Sakamaki brothers had gathered, from Ayato-kun and Laito-kun whom I believed had walked past me earlier, to Kanato-kun and even Reiji-san. 

“Hehe...You’re pretty desperate, Subaru.”

“I mean, Subaru-kun’s going to wish for Bitch-chan to fall head over heels in love with him, right~? No wonder he’s so desperate, nfu~”

“D-Don’t be makin’ up lies! My wish is a new coffin!”

“All I want...is to live surrounded by an endless amount of sweets!”

“In that case, I’m gonna wish for a huge load of takoyaーー No, actually, might not be bad to have Chichinashi turned into a Chichiari*.”

--> チチアリ or ‘Chichiari’ would be the opposite of ‘Chichinashi’, literally meaning ‘to have boobs’.

“Eh!? M-Me...!?”

“You can’t, Ayato-kun. I’ll be one turning Bitch-chan into a voluptuous, young woman after all~*”

--> He literally describes it as a ナイスバディのオネーサン or ‘Nice body no Onee-san’. Onee-san is used to refer to women who are older than you are but since Laito-kun is only 17 in human years, it would apply to a girl in her early 20s as well.

“G-Geez! Cut it out, you two...!”

“...You guys really came up with some bullshit. If it can grant any wish, I’d make it so the Old Man never bothers me again...Pwaah...”

And so, they began to slowly close in on me. The very moment they reached for the lamp, Reiji-san - who had been the only one remaining quiet so far - suddenly raised his voice.

“Would you care explain this to me? ...Because you kept touching the lamp with those sweaty palms, there are now fingerprints all over it! Come on, it is not too late yet! Put these on at once!”

While frantically shouting at me, he threw a pair of white gloves my way. Surprised by his menacing look, I put them on as asked, and Reiji-san finally nodded his head in agreement. 

“I am disappointed...Do none of you grasp the true value of this lamp?”

“Haah? Are we really not allowed to touch it with our bare hands...?”

“It looks pretty normal from the outside though~ I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a similar example in Kanato-kun’s room...?”

“Yes. ...Well, that one isn’t capable of granting wishes though.”

Reiji-san sighed deeply at Ayato-kun, Latio-kun and Kanato-kun’s consecutive comments.

“...Only two of these ‘magic lamps’ exist in this world, making them very valuable from a historic point of view. Furthermore, the lamp may disappear once it has granted one’s wish, therefore it revolts me you lot are even considering putting it to use...”

While the other guys seemed little interested in Reiji-san’s emotion-laden speech, he once again spoke up.

“Well, I doubt you will ever understand.  ーー Especially you, whom I did not expect to even join us in the first place...”

“...Shut up. Who cares?”

Shuu-san calmly brushed off Reiji-san’s taunt as if it was nothing. 

“Hehe...Seems like he doesn’t give a shit ‘bout what you say.”

“Fufu, take a look at that frustrated expression on Reiji’s face. ...This might be the most interesting thing I’ve seen in quite some time.”

“Geez, cut it out you two~ Don’t you feel bad for Reiji~?”

“Feel bad? ...Hehe. Pretty sure your words hurt even more.”

The other four brothers who had been listening in on their conversation continued to chuckle...Which eventually caused Shuu-san to burst out laughing as well.

Seems like this sight dealt a pretty hefty blow to Reiji-san’s pride, as he stood there shaking violently from sheer anger.

I better make a run for it before things take a turn for the worse...

I used the fact they had suddenly completely forgotten about me to my advantage, and left the place at once.

“...Phew. Thank god. Seems like they didn’t notice.”

I eventually found myself on Aizen Alley, one of the streets located in the very back of Glimmer street. To be honest, I wasn’t too thrilled about having to pass through there, but if I wanted to head to the castle while avoiding Ayato-kun and the others, I had no other choice. 

“Hehe...Too bad. You can’t escape us First Bloods.”

“Hand over that lamp you are holding at once.”

I gasp at the voices resounding from the darkness. Those who appeared were Shin-kun and Carla-san.

“I-I can’t do that...! I believe it is wrong to use the lamp for one’s own selfish pursuits...”

“If we give it back, it’ll just get thrown into some old, dusty storage room, right? In that case, I’m pretty sure the lamp would be happier to have someone use it as well?”

“B-But...”

“Come on, don’t hesitate. You’re keeping Nii-san waiting as well. Can’t you hurry up?”

“...T-Then, what would you wish for, Shin-kun?”

While snorting at my desperate question, he answered with a smile.

“That should be obvious. I’d make sure those filthy Vampires disappear off the face of the Demon World at onーー”

“ーー No. We want cured ham.”

“N-Nii-san...?”

“We shall change all food in this world to cured ham. That is my...No, the dearest wish of all First Bloods.”

“R-Right...”

Carla-san would blurt that out with a straight face. It is the very definition of a selfish wish but I wonder if Shin-kun is truly okay with it? ...I look over at Shin-kun while wondering that, seeing him look at Carla-san in utter defeat.

“...Well then, woman. Hand it over right now.”

“You’re actually hoping to fulfill that wish...!?”

“Yes, of course.”

All food in this world will turn into cured ham...That is just simply pushing it one step too far. It pains me to have to deceive him...But I decided to tell a certain lie.

“H-Have you already had the chance to try the cured ham galette which is said to be this city’s speciality...?”

“...Pardon?”

“It’s a limited edition galette which is available at stores only after the Parade has ended. While passing by the shops earlier, I noticed that only very few were left, so I figured I would inform you just in case...”

While there was no guaranteeing he would believe me, I wanted to make Carla-san forget about the lamp, even if just for a few minutes. With that sole purpose in mind, I continued my act.

“...Let us go, Shin. Just leave this woman be.”

“W-Wait, Nii-san! You’re just going to believe her on her word!?”

“We will know whether she was speaking the truth or not once we get to the shop. Even if she had been lying, capturing a human woman is child’s play to me. However, if she has been speaking the truth...”

“If we don’t hurry, they’ll run out of cured ham galettes, right? ...Right, I understand.”

Realizing there was no point in trying to reason with him, Shin-kun reluctantly trailed behind Carla-san as they left. 

I truly am sorry...While internally apologizing to both of them, I headed towards my desitation. 

“Haah...I can finally see it in the distance...”

Some time after I bid farewell with the Tsukinami brothers, I finally got close to Bernstein castle.

“Oh no...I can’t approach the castle like this...”

After all, four familiar figures were standing lined up by the castle’s gate. Those are the Mukami brothers...Of course, with Ruki-kun standing in the middle. As to be expected of a strategist like him. If I wanted to return the lamp to its owner, I would have to make it back here eventually. They were one step ahead of me.

“Eve...Found you...”

“...!! A-Azusa-kun!?”

When I timidly turned around at the voice suddenly calling for me from behind, Azusa-kun - who was talking to Ruki-kun and the others up until seconds ago - suddenly stood right in front of me. 

“Ahー M-neko-chan! So this is where you’ve been~!”

“Che...Ya sure took yer sweet time. You’re damn late, Sow!”

“...Calm down, you guys. If we make too much of a ruckus, we’ll attract the attention of the others.”

When I raised my voice, it caught everyone’s attention and without a chance to slip away, I was soon surrounded by the four Mukami brothers.

“I’m sorry, guys. But I won’t hand over this lamp to anyone...!”

After jumping the gun like that, Ruki-kun let out a disappointed sigh.

“...Seems like you have got the wrong idea. I simply want to look after the lamp for you.”

“Eh...? You don’t want to use it to grant your own wish?”

“Of course not. If a Vampire such as myself holds on to the lamp, it will decrease the chances of one of the other guys stealing it.”

“You say that buuuut~ ...Ruki-kun, aren’t you actually hoping to use that lamp to renovate our manor~?”

“Your own exclusive study room off-limits for anyone else, and a play room filled with nothing but chess boards...Hehe, as to be expected of Mr. Eldest son.”

“Kuh...! Don’t assume such things. All I want to do is to make the home we have received from that man the most comfortable for you all to live in...!”

While Ruki-kun chuckles sarcastically after his true intentions are exposed by his siblings, Azusa-kun reached out for me.

“Listen, Eve...The four of us talked it out and...We’ve decided to use the lamp together with Ruki as our representative...”

“Ruki-kun’s so mean, you know~! I was actually going to wish for a hundred year’s worth of Vongole Bianco.” 

“I was gonna ask for the power to manipulate the weather...But my idea got shot down at once. ...Haah...And here I thought I could make field work a lil’ easier on myself...”

“I just want to be with Eve so...I didn’t really have any particular wishes...”

“Is that so...? It’s really admirable of you all to hold back on your own desires.”

Even though the younger brothers were voicing their complaints, it didn’t seem like they were going to force their own wishes through. I’m sure it is because Ruki-kun intends to make a wish which benefits the whole family, as the deep bond of trust between the four brothers somehow made me feel warm inside.

However...That still does not mean I will give them the lamp. 

“Uhm, you see...It just doesn’t sit right with me to only have one person’s wish granteーー!?”

The second I felt as if something was closing on me, a large sound resounded from the nearby buildings before they collapsed.

“...!? This magic...”

“The Tsukinami’s...perhaps? Look, over there...!”

“Ugeh! They look hella pissed off! Did ya do somethin’!?”

“Uu...W-Well...”

I could feel my heart drop at Yuma-kun’s words. Carla-san and Shin-kun must be upset about the lie I ended up telling them back then...

“Say, what should we do!? At this rate, we’ll all be turned to dust...!”

Kou-kun’s exclamation made me panic as I rushed towards the two brothers. Either way, I just had to apologize as quickly as possible...However, I was stopped by the Sakamaki brothers before I could reach them.

“You’ve got nowhere to run now...Oi, hand me the lamp already!”

“What are you saying, Subaru? I will be using the lamp. You’re in the way!”

“Hell no! I’m gonna have my wish granted!”

“Ehー Let me have the honor for once~ We can only use it once and my wish is obviously the best.”

Shuu-san joins in a little late as well and before I know it, the Sakamaki, Mukami and Tsukinami brothers are all gathered just like when we started off.

Glares were being exchanged here and there as a hostile atmosphere fills the air. I can no longer stop them all by myself. In that case, I will have to rely on an outer source to back me up. I didn’t want to use the lamp to have a wish granted but...This is the only way to stop their fight.

While rubbing the side of the lamp, I spoke up with a loud voice.

“Release lanterns into the sky once more!”

White smoke emitted from the lamp and soon after ー Poof! The lamp disappeared with a popping sound. 

When I look up at the sky, I once again witness the same magical sight of countless lanterns floating through the sky, just like they did a few hours ago. ...At some point, their quarreling voices had gone quiet as well. 

“You...Haah. You really are a foolish woman.”

“Ya really think we’re happy with this crap? Geez. Ya really used the lamp for some useless shit...”

“...Eh...?”

Shuu-san and Yuma-kun’s remarks catch me off guard as I froze on the spot.

“...Livestock, seems like you did not grasp the true value of that lamp.”

“Exactly...To think a great hidden treasure of the Demon World has been lost over such a ridiculous wish...!”

Ruki-kun and Reiji-san voiced their complaints as well.

“B-But...! All of you were moved by the lanterns, no...?”

I frantically reached out for the others, hoping that at least one of them would agree with me. ...That was all I wished for, yet...

“I mean, sure? But to be honest, I didn’t need to see it a second time...”

“...I’d hate to have to agree with a mere Vampire...But I’ll admit that Kou is right this one time. You feel the same, don’t you, Nii-san?”

“...My cured ham...”

“Too bad, Shin-san...Seems like Carla-san can’t hear you right now...”

“Ah-aah...I was looking forward to seeing a sexy Bitch-chan as well~”

“Me too. I was already making plans for which sweet I would try first...!”

“Fuck! There goes my plan of gettin’ a coffin in which nobody can bother me...!”

All I got in return were negative responses and sighs.

“...Guess I’ve got no other choice then! Oi, Chichinashi! Let me suck your blood to make up for it!”

“W-Wait! That’s way too sudden...!”

“Shut up! That’s the only thing which can calm this anger inside of me!”

While Ayato-kun closed in, I looked around me in search of someone to save me, but all I could see were a bunch of eyes glaring at me from the darkness. At this rate, they will all take my blood. ...There is no way I would come out of that alive. Realizing I had to make a run for it...I dashed away at full-speed.

“Ah! Wait, M-neko-chan!!”

“Geez, Bitch-chan! I’m not scary though~!”

The many lanterns floating through the night sky was a sight to behold, but unfortunately, I did not have the leaway to enjoy that right now. After all, I had to flee from their approaching footsteps and voices calling out for me as soon as possible.

I didn’t want them to fight and while I never expected them to become friends, I wished they would at least try and be on neutral terms with each other. 

That wish was most definitely granted. Right now, they had put the strained relationship between the different families aside to join forces.

However, knowing their shared goal is my blood...doesn’t make me happy at all.

ーー The Demon World’s Parade safely came to an end, but my night had only just begun.

ーー END ーー

[loopsforlupin]

A Yes That Changed the World

      Sirius was sixteen when he decided he could take no more. Walburga and Orion were going to kill him. They were. Sirius was sure of it. His mother’s gaze was even colder then usual, and his father, well he had always just ignored his sons, but now Sirius could swear he had seen his father reach for his dagger that he always kept on him, only to stop right before he touched it. They were furious with him. No longer was he the silent lamb they could lead around by the rope, and force their opinions down his throat. No he was a Gryffindor, he was loud, he was opinionated. He spoke out against the dark lord, flaunted his friendships with muggle-borns and half-bloods, he proudly stated what he thought of the supposed “Dark Lord”. For every rebellion, he was beat. He was crucio’d. He was threatened with everything from disownment, to being lead before Voldemort himself for his impudence. Nothing broke Sirius’s will, made him submit to his mother’s cruel desires. Sirius’s body was in a constant state of pain, his cuts and bruises stinging and bleeding randomly throughout the day. Sirius hid how bad he was feeling. He’d give them nothing, couldn’t let them see his flinches, or how badly he was feeling with every step. There was only one thing that kept Sirius from leaving. 

      Regulus. How could he leave his baby brother with them? The tiny baby, who had been thought to weak to live, who had grown up to be a fragile toddler, who his mother had told him to protect. His baby. A tiny toddler with long black curls, who clutched Sirius’s robes and whose first word was “Siri”. Sirius had raised the boy. Had shown him how to walk quietly in the shadows, to avoid their parent’s wrath. Had taught him table manners by the age of two, so that their mother couldn’t sting his hands when he reached for the wrong fork. Sirius’s baby, who learned French and Russian, at the same time he learned English, because their mother had many French friends, and their father had Russian business partners, and it was only proper to be able to speak to their guests in a language they understood. Sirius’s baby brother who could recite the proper pure-blood etiquette word for word, and was the “proper son”, the “ proper Pure-blood”. Sirius had done everything he could to ensure his brother would never gain the wrath of his parents. Surely, now that his brother was nearly of age, surely Sirius could be selfish. Right?  

      It was late at night, long after his mother and father had went to bed, that Sirius finally recovered enough to leave. His mother had punished him severely for his “lack of respect”, because Sirius had commended his cousin Andromeda for running off. Because he had the gall to celebrate her marriage to a “no good, waste of magic mudblood”. Sirius’s cousins, Bellatrix and Narcissa and their parents had been over for a “Family gathering”. Bellatrix had mentioned her sister’s “plight into insanity” and lamented that a once proud member had fallen so far from grace. Sirius had snorted, and looking his insane cousin in the eyes, had stated that Bella should be well familiar with insanity. That hadn’t won him any laughs, and instead resulted in his current situation. His ribs were broken, and if he had to judge, based on the sharp excruciating pain emitting from his left arm, so was his forearm. Regulus had been sent to his room, and Kreacher had been instructed to ensure that the room was sound proofed. The demented elf was all to eager to follow his mother’s order, Regulus had looked scared, and almost like he was going to argue. Sirius shook his head slowly, Regulus didn’t look entirely convinced so Sirius mouthed: “Go, go!” The following couple of hours were mostly lost in the haze of pain. He thinks he remembers his mother’s cold laugh as he cried. His father’s harsh voice yelling hexes and curses so quickly that even Sirius’s naturally beater instincts were unable to dodge the colored spells coming his way. The punishment went on for hours, well into the night. 

      Now his body was yelling at Sirius. No more, it seemed to beg. He knew then, if he stayed, the next time they punished him, it would be his death. His own parents would kill him, and in his mother’s case at least, would laugh as he died an agonizing death. With every ounce of will he had left, Sirius forced himself up, and into his room. A flick of his wand had everything he wanted packed flying into his trunk which he shrunk and placed in his back pocket. He looked around one last time at his childhood room. The posters he had stuck to his walls in an effort to piss of his parents. It pleased him greatly that even when he left, his mother and father would not be able to entirely erase him from their home. Two pictures caught his attention, one of his friends at Hogwarts, their faces laughing and smiling at him from the wall. The other one a picture of his brother and him, when Regulus was younger, and Sirius was in his Hogwarts robes. His brother was clutching Sirius’s robes, his knuckles white and tensed at least to Sirius’s trained eyes. This was the last photo his mother had willingly included him in, and it was bittersweet, because Regulus was losing his brother for the year, and Sirius was about to puke from the anxiety of how he was going to be sorted. It was their eyes that Sirius noticed, both of their eyes were filled with fear. Sirius couldn’t help but remember how after they had hugged one last time, that Sirius had whispered in his baby brother’s ears to remember everything he had taught him, to behave to not make waves, to survive until Sirius was home again to protect him. Regulus had been scared but told Sirius he would try. Then Sirius had been a Gryffindor, had made friends for the first time in his life, had learned to have his own opinion, to think for himself. And from then on, Sirius was the enemy. Sirius wanted the picture, it may be the last reminder he every had of his brother. So with careful hands, he cut the wall behind the picture and stuck that in his pocket. 

      Sirius shut his bedroom door, and made his way to the door he knew almost as well as his own. He didn’t open the door, he stopped in front of it and debated. Should he wake his brother to say goodbye? Would Regulus try to rat him out? Would Regulus miss him as much as Sirius would miss him? Sirius was torn, he wanted to say goodbye, but he didn’t want to have the last memory of his brother being an argument. He had just decided to move on when the door in front of him cracked open. Sleepy slate grey eyes, peered up at him from the fragile face of his baby brother. Sirius didn’t dare to breathe. Regulus looked up at him, his eyes narrowing as he took in his brother’s attire. Sirius was wearing his favored leather jacket, jeans and his black boots. In all, it was his normal bike riding outfit. 

      “You’re leaving.” Regulus stated, his eyes slowly losing what little warmth had resided in the grey orbs. Sirius didn’t think he could physically respond, so he nodded; his head bobbing slowly just once. Regulus pulled the door open wider. 

     “Where will you go?” Sirius paused. He hadn’t actually thought it out to much, just ran on the instinct to leave as quickly as he could. 

    “Probably the Potter’s. James will let me crash for a day or two I’m sure. Then I guess I have to find a flat somewhere.” Regulus looked into Sirius’s eyes, trying to find something. Sirius was unsure what exactly his brother hoped to find, but he kept his expression sincere, he would not lie to his brother.  Regulus soon looked resigned, his face falling. 

    “I guess this is goodbye then. I wish you well Sirius.” Sirius couldn’t breathe. Here was his baby brother, who he had raised, and loved and taught how to survive their unloving and cruel parents, formerly wishing him well, like they were schoolmates who barely knew each other. And Regulus was shutting the door, his baby brother was going to close the door, and that was the last time Sirius would see Regulus. 

    “Come with me!” Sirius blurted out, his voice barely above a whisper, but his tone urgent and panicked. “Come with me Reg!” 

     Regulus stopped his action and looked at his brother. His protector. His sanity in a house full of shadows, abuse, and anger. The lion born from a pit of snakes, who roared his opinion, even when everyone around him demanded silence. His brother who took the brunt of his parent’s anger and hatred, and protected him, was standing in front of him now, telling Regulus that he was leaving, and asking him to go with him. Regulus was fourteen years old and he knew this was a defining moment of his life. If he said no, Sirius was leaving, and he would be alone in this hateful house. Regulus would have no brave lion to shield him from his mother’s anger, or to curb his father’s wrath. Regulus would most likely be pushed into becoming a follower of Voldemort. He would stand on the opposite side of his brother. Or Regulus could say yes. But what would happen to them?  No house? No family title? They would be starting from the very bottom, but Regulus would have his brother. Sirius would protect him, of this Regulus was certain. He was so sure of this in fact that Regulus found he had no good reason to stay. His entire family was in front of him right now offering to take him away from all the horrors in this house. 

      It stunned both boys when Regulus nodded his head slowly once. Then speed up as if he believed Sirius would change his mind and leave him there alone. Sirius’s heart pounded in his chest, and his lungs sucked in a greedy gulp of air. His brother said yes. HIS BROTHER SAID YES! Sirius wasn’t losing his whole family, he was keeping the most important part with him. Sirius grinned at his brother and pushed open the door to the room. Whispering for Regulus to grab his wand, and to stand back Sirius entered the room. He whispered a command to get dressed, and to keep one jacket out. Sirius began to prepare his brother to leave. A flick of his wand, had the entire contents of his brother’s closest getting packed into the trunk. Any lose books, quills, or papers also flew into the trunk as well as When everything was packed away, Sirius took one of Regulus’s formal jackets, and transfigured it into a leather styled jacket like his own. Seeing Regulus’s confused expression, Sirius grinned, the kind of grin that James and Remus would have realized meant terrible trouble. 

     “Trust me Reg, gets a bit cold traveling my way.” Another flick of his wand shrunk his brother’s trunk, which he carefully tucked into his brother’s pocket. Together to the two brothers snuck their way down and out of their childhood home for the last time. Neither of them looked back, the only thing they would have regretted leaving was beside them. Once they were quite a ways away from their old home, Sirius stopped Regulus, looked around to ensure no body was near, before he pulled a chain around his neck out from underneath his shirt revealing a motorcycle charm. With a tap of his wand, the charm grew and grew and grew until an oversized motorcycle sat in front of the brothers. A black helmet with gold embellishments, hung on the handlebars. Regulus gulped. His brother had to be kidding. They couldn’t ride this thing to the Potter’s! Sirius grinned knowing his brother’s thoughts based on his face. 

     “Come on Reg! Time to get going. Hop on after me okay. Make sure your trunk is tight in your pocket. Alright?”  Regulus nodded his head still shocked. Sirius went to pull on his helmet before he stopped. He leaned down and looked at the rocks nearby before grabbing one the size of his palm. Another tap of his wand, and he held a dark green helmet with silver details sat in his hand. 

    “Safety first Reg. Gotta have a helmet to ride Gryff.” Regulus put the helmet on, waited until his brother was seated before climbing on himself. He wrapped his arms tight around his brother’s waist. Sirius double checked that Reg was secure before he started the engine. It growled to life, before settling into a deep purr. Soon enough, Sirius and Regulus were roaring down the road the wind whipping their jackets and chilling them through to their cores. When Sirius thought they were well into the country, and therefore far enough away from prying eyes, he turned his head just enough to catch Regulus’s attention. 

     “ Hold on tight, now’s the fun part!” With no other warning, Sirius pushed a button on his handlebars, and suddenly the brothers were soaring into the sky. Regulus clutched him self tighter to his brother. Sirius let out a laugh, and took them higher, and higher until they were covered by a thin layer of clouds, for any muggle out and about at this time of night. They stayed in the cover of the clouds mostly, only dropping down for a second or two to ensure they were heading in the right direction. Sirius’s wand was occasionally pulled out and a “Point-Me” charm was used. They flew for a while, close to an hour, before Sirius yelled back to his brother again. 

      “Going to land! Hold on tight and lean when I do!” Regulus shouted back an okay, and the bike began to descend. Riding the motorcycle was different from a broom, definitely different from a broom. The descent took a little longer than their liftoff, but soon enough the brothers were lading in a secluded area outside of a beautiful manor house. It was gorgeous. Sirius pulled up to the gates, tapped them with his wand, and passed through them with ease. The pathway leading to the house lit up with their approach, little orbs of light lit up the cobble stone pathway. Eventually they reached the circle drive in front of the manor, where Sirius parked the bike. Regulus got off first, his legs feeling kind of unstable as he stood up for the first time in about an hour. Sirius also got off and stood up, stretching his muscles. With a grin, Sirius wrapped his arm around his baby brother and pulled him up to the steps to the grand door. 

    Unabashed, Sirius banged on the door. His face was bruised, his lips were split, but Sirius was smiling like a loon. His brother was beside him, and his other brother was behind the wooden doors, along with parents who loved and shared instead of shaming and hating. With a quiet creak the big doors were open, to reveal a tiny little creature with floppy ears. Sirius’s grin grew even bigger. He kneeled down and looked at the small creature. 

     “Master Siri? Master Siri hurt?!” “Wotcher Bindy! Think you can get James for me?” The elf nodded and popped away with barely a snap. Sirius turned to his brother, still standing awkwardly and sort of shivering, and flashed him a bright grin. Regulus couldn’t help but send a small grin back, they were together, and that was all that really mattered now. A minute passed before another small popping sound was heard and a shirtless, sleepy looking James was standing at the door, his wand pointed at them. His eyes were still sleepy looking but alert enough to be suspicious. Sirius situated himself in front of his brother, who was a little shocked to see the Gryffindor chaser shirtless and holding a wand on him. 

      “ What prank did I play on Lily Evans in second year?” Sirius grinned doggishly and stood up straight his posture relaxed and sure. 

    “You put a skin-color changing potion in her pumpkin juice, you made her a brilliant scarlet color but changed her hair to gold. Then you called her the Gryffindor Lioness for the next month. She hexed you twelve times.” James relaxed, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. 

      “Dammit Pads. What you doing on my doorstep at four in the bloody morning?” James looked at Sirius more closely, and seemed to finally realize that Regulus was there. Interestingly enough, he seemed to become self-conscious, reaching up and crossing his arms over his chest before acknowledging Regulus. “Uhh, hey Regulus.” An awkward little wave followed. Regulus grinned. Potter was an awkward dork. Regulus grinned and waved back over Sirius’s shoulder. 

     “Hey yourself Potter.” Regulus grinned like a shark, his teeth flashing white in the dim light. Sirius grew tired of being ignored as the other two dark haired boys looked at each other.        “Prongs, you gonna leave us standing in the cold?” That snapped James out of his stupor, and he sheepishly gestured them into his home. Both Black brothers sighed in relief, the feeling of warmth seeping into their bones a welcome sensation after the cold wind whipping at them on their journey. 

      James led them into the kitchen the whole way fussing over Sirius. He had finally realized that his friend was injured, and had began to act like a mother hen which he normally is. Sirius took all the fussing in stride, barely baiting an eye as James forced him into a chair. James called for Bindy, asking her to gather bandages, potions, and to wake his mother. Sirius did start to fuss at that last part.

     “Prongs! Don’t wake your mother for this. I can wait ‘til morning! Seriously Bindy don’t wake Mrs. Potter, I’m fine.” His voice was actually distressed at the idea of waking Mrs. Potter, causing Regulus to tense. Would Mrs. Potter treat them the same way their own mother did? Would she punish Sirius for coming to her home so late? 

    “Pads don’t be daft! You’ve got a broken arm!! I can’t fix that by myself. We need her. Bindy go wake my mother please.” Bindy popped away quickly, her own face worried as she looked at the Black heir. Sirius didn’t seem convinced, but he stopped protesting. His shoulders were still tense though, and his eyes shifted around to look at all the possible exits. Regulus tensed even more. Sirius had driven them here? With a broken arm? He had known his brother was strong, but this was next level of strength.  James having done all he could for Sirius turned his attention to Regulus. His eyes seemed nervous, but he stepped closer to him. 

     “Regulus, do you have any injuries?” James’s eyes seemed to stare through Regulus’s clothes, as if he was mentally undressing him, and imagining all the worst bruises he had seen on Sirius on Regulus’s slender frame. 

      “I’m perfectly fine Heir Potter. Sirius taught me to avoid their wrath from a young age.” James flinched at the formal title his eyes dulling even as a small smile flitted on his lips. 

      “Good, I’m glad you were safe. I’m also glad that Sirius brought you here. No body deserves to be left alone with those... those.... those MONSTERS.” James’s face made it clear that the word monster was inadequate to describe what he thought of the Black parents. Regulus just smiled, tilting his head to the side. James Potter was a strange person. He defended Sirius because they were friends, but why was he so concerned about Regulus? James seemed a little in awe from Regulus’s smile, meeting it with a wry grin of his own.

      The sound of the kitchen door opening broke the little spell Regulus was under. Mrs. Potter was a slightly older woman, but she moved quick as a whip. She was next to Sirius in the time it took Regulus to blink. Her wand was out and she was casting diagnostic spells. Her voice was slightly lower than his mother’s, but it was infused with a sense of warmth. She was muttering spells as she moved, and also fussing over his brother at the same time. Sirius’s face was an interesting color of red, as the matronly woman fussed over him. 

      “Oh you dear boy! What did that horrible woman do to you! You’re black and blue! And that arm! How in Merlin’s name did you travel here with a broken arm! You stubborn boy! You’re lucky you didn’t hurt yourself worse! Wait until I get Fleamont up, flying across the sky on that bike of yours no less! With a broken arm! I ought to to tie you to your bed for your own health! Between you boys I’m not sure who’s going to make me grey!” 

     James was laughing, as his mother was fussing. Sirius was a brilliant red color now, his eyes wide as he watched the matronly woman. He lifted limbs, and moved as she instructed. He barely flinched when she healed his arm, was practically motionless as she then strapped it into a sling to help. He did nothing until she was finished, and she planted a kiss to his forehead, when she moved he looked desperately at James, who was to busy laughing to notice his friend’s distress. 

      Mrs. Potter then turned her attention towards the only other boy in her kitchen. He was a slender thing. His hair not quite long, but definitely shaggy. His eyes were so similar to his brother’s only instead of lighting up with mirth, those grey eyes tracked her movements. She stopped about two steps away from him, her wand clearly in his sight. She noticed that while his face was unreadable, his shoulders had tensed and his eyes shifted to find his brother. He was scared. Unbeknownst to her, Sirius had caught Reg’s eyes and had nodded. She was to be trusted. 

     “Hello dear. My name is Euphemia Potter, but you can call me Effie. Do you need any healing as well? I can’t imagine our Sirius-” here she looked over at the still red faced boy with a motherly smile, “-Let anyone raise a wand to you. But you never know dear.” She turned her attention back to him. Her eyes were hazel like her sons, but where James’s were usually warm and full of laughter, her eyes were full of motherly affection. It was a sight he was unfamiliar with but his heart welcomed immensely. 

     “No ma’am. I’m fine. Like you said, Sirius never let me get injured.” Regulus gave his brother a shy smile, which his brother returned eagerly. Effie looked at Regulus with a mock stern expression. 

    “None of this Ma’am business. Effie I insist. Or if you really feel the need to be formal, Euphemia. Ma’am makes me feel old, and while I’m no spring chick, I refuse to the old hen.”  

      Sirius and James both chuckled, while Regulus grinned. 

      “Euphemia then. Thank you for letting my brother and I into your home. We appreciate your hospitality.” Regulus took her hand and kissed the back of it. 

      Euphemia chuckled, as she curtsied in response. 

      “My aren’t you a little charmer. Sirius! You could learn a thing or two from this young man.” Sirius grinned, his face finally returning to it’s normal pale color. 

      “Nah Effie, who do you think you taught him how to charm the ladies!” Sirius then glanced at James and muttered something under his breath. If Regulus had been closer he would have heard the muttered “And some blokes apparently.” But Regulus was too far to hear the comment that made James turn into a beet root red, but he was close enough to appreciate the way James looked when he was embarrassed. 

    Effie’s laugh tinkled in the room, making all three boys smile. She then called for Bindy to make some tea and some snacks for “her three boys”. Regulus and Sirius both perked up at being included, making James’s heart ache for how starved for family both young boys were. After a quick cuppa and a snack of fairy cakes, the three boys were lead up to their bedrooms. Sirius was placed in the bedroom he utilized when he stayed with the Potter’s for breaks, and Regulus was placed in the room across from his. James told Sirius he would raid his closet for a set of pajamas for the pair of brothers. 

       James returned from his closet with two pairs of pajamas. One set included a white, long sleeve shirt made out of a soft material, and a pair of sleep pants with little gold snitches on them. The other set wasn’t actually sleep wear, but instead was an old black hoodie paired with some grey sweatpants. To Sirius he threw the sweatshirt and sweatpants. He shyly held out his other offering.

        “Here. I don’t know if they’ll fit too well, but since you play quidditch I thought you’d like these. The other pairs.... are a little more Gryffindor colored. I didn’t think you’d appreciate wearing red and gold.” Regulus took the bundle of clothes, noticing that the clothes smelled like James. An interesting mix of spicy and cool, a pleasant mix of cinnamon or cloves, mixed with something citrusy, as well as something that Regulus couldn’t help but describe as warm.  

     “Thanks Potter. These will do great. Loads better than sleeping in a button down and jeans.” James smiled at him again, making a peculiar sensation take hold of Regulus’s stomach, and lower regions. Something to think about later he thought wryly. 

     The boys split up, with the Black brother’s changing into their borrowed clothes. They met up again in James’s room. Sirius, while smaller than James, filled out the clothes quite nicely, with only certain areas being baggy. Regulus however was basically swimming in James’s clothes. The drawstring on the pants, the only thing keeping them up on his slender waist. James upon seeing Regulus swimming in his clothes, had his eyes wide, and kept nervously biting and licking his lips. He also kept crossing his arms and uncrossing them as the boys chatted before bed.

    Regulus wished his brother goodnight, and turned to James. Looking up from under his lashes, he bid the Potter heir a goodnight, before thanking him again. James stuttered out a welcome and attempted to say goodnight as Regulus walked over to his own room. Right before Regulus closed the door, he swore he heard his brother say something along the lines of:

     “Merlin James, that was more awkward then you trying to flirt with Evans!” 

 To which he swore he heard James respond: 

     “ Shove of Pads! You’re no better when you try to flirt with Moony!” 

      As Regulus prepared for bed, he heard the other boys descend into a small argument, which consisted of various insults about the other’s inability to flirt, or their general lack of intelligence. It wasn’t until Euphemia shouted for them to settle down and go to sleep did they finally fall quiet. 

     For the first time in the twelve years that he could consciously remember, Regulus Black fell asleep knowing that when he woke up his brother would be safe, and they wouldn’t have to see their parent’s over the breakfast table. Sleep pulled heavily on Regulus’s eyes, until he fell into a deep slumber, where Regulus dreamed of hazel eyes laughing, a cheeky grin against tanned skin, and his brother’s infectious laughter surrounding him. It was the beginning of a whole chapter in their lives. 

[worldwidemochiguy]

Expecting (Yandere! Hoseok)

➵ When you found out you were pregnant, you were shocked to say the least. How could this happen? You were on birth control, or so you thought. What shocked you the most, however, was your boyfriend’s reaction...

➵ Pairing: Yandere! Hobi x Reader 

➵ Warnings: Yandere Hoseok, Slight Violence, Forced Pregnancy, Manipulation, Unhealthy Relationships

➵ Word Count: 2K

➵ Masterlist :)

The cashier grinned at you excitedly as she scanned the pregnancy test, an expression you could only respond to with a repressed grimace. 

“So, what are you hoping for?” She chirped, clearly thinking you were excited about this development in your personal life. 

“Huh?

“Boy or girl?” You looked down at your fingers, toying with your (Hoseok’s) credit card awkwardly, avoiding the probing questions. The cashier seemed to realise your lack of enthusiasm a moment too late. You felt her gaze rest incriminatingly on your empty left hand. 

She silently scanned the rest of your items: a chocolate bar and a tube of toothpaste you had grabbed just so that the single purchase wasn’t too conspicuous. You tried not to feel too judged. Tried, and failed.

The shame pressed heavily on you as you trudged home, incriminating bag weighing down your steps. Realistically, you knew you had no reason to be ashamed. The whole idea of having to be married before having kids was antiquated, and anyway you were in a stable, loving relationship with your boyfriend. 

You wished you had just bit the bullet and bought two pregnancy tests as soon as you realised you had missed your period. You had been so scared and willingly stubborn, refusing to buy more than one as if buying multiple would be an admittance that you were pregnant. 

But after receiving one positive result, you had forced yourself to return to the store and buy another, resulting in that mortifying encounter with that cashier. It wasn’t like you were likely to ever see her again but… you couldn’t get her judgemental gaze out of your mind. 

You imagined that gaze mirrored in your friends’ eyes, in your families eyes, in strangers eyes as they watched you carry an illegitimate child in your womb. You just didn’t understand. You had been so careful. 

You always made sure to take your birth control pills each morning. Every morning. If you ever forgot, you made sure you didn’t have sex for at least a week, despite Hoseok’s fervent complaints. You had even tried to get your boyfriend to wear condoms as another layer of protection, but he had flat-out refused, stating that he wanted to be able to feel you properly. 

You wrung your hands together, steps quickening as another wave of anxiety flooded your system. Hoseok. What would he say about it? Would he blame you? It must have been your fault after all, you must have somehow taken your birth control incorrectly. What if he left you? What if he abandoned you and your friends left you and your family left you and everyone-

“Sunshine!”

Strong arms surrounded you and pulled you into a warm chest. Your boyfriend’s joyous face beamed down at you as you tried to gain your bearings, panic still lingering unpleasantly in your system. 

“I saw your note saying you had left for the store and decided to come and see if you needed any help with your bags. It’s lucky I caught you in front of our building, huh?” 

You looked around and realised that you had made it all the way back to your apartment building without even realising it. While you were distracted, Hoseok took your bag.

“Let me carry that for you, sunshine. Can’t have my baby carrying things for herself!” 

You gave him a strangled smile, not contradicting him because you didn’t want him to notice what, exactly, he was carrying. Your previous worries were still shouting over each other in your head. 

You panicked silently as Hoseok led you back to the apartment, dumping the bag on the counter. After that, unexpectedly, he stopped right in front of you and turned, causing you to bump into his front. 

“Careful, sunshine.” Hoseok chided you fondly, arms coming up to support you as you stumbled. “You have to be even more careful of your safety now, remember?”

“Aha, yes, of course- wait, what?” Your eyes widened as Hoseok gave you a knowing smile. Surely, there’s no way he could have realised… right?

“I found the test in the trash, baby.” 

Your heart stopped. 

“You know we share a bathroom, right? Literally all I had to do was look down.” 

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, the words muffled as you buried your face in your hands. You heard an incredulous laugh, and a second later his arms were wrapped around you once again. 

“What are you sorry for? Sunshine, this is a blessing.” You stiffened in his arms out of shock. What? He was actually happy about it? That was some relief, at least. 

“It is?” 

“Are you kidding me? Of course it is!” He crowed, twirling you around so unexpectedly that you couldn’t help but laugh along with him. “It’ll be the family we always wanted! The one we’ve been trying for!”

The euphoria of knowing you had your boyfriend’s support distracted you for a second, stopping his words from sinking in. But, after a moment, you paused.

“What do you mean, Hoseok? We haven’t been trying for a family? I take birth control…” You trailed off at the sight of his guilty smile. A horrible realisation seeped into the pit of your stomach. 

“Hobi…?” Your voice was uncertain, but Hoseok didn’t seem to realise your discomfort, or if he did, he didn’t really care.

“You know how much I love kids, sunshine. And you know how much I love you, I just… I want us to be a family.” 

“W-What did you do?” You stammered, and he twirled his fingers nervously. 

“I… might have… switched your birth control tablets?”

Oh God.

“We’ve been dating for four months!” You yelled at him, and he blanched. “I only just moved in with you, and you decide you can control what I do with my body?” 

“Don’t say it like that, sunshine!” Hoseok implored, moving towards you with arms outspread even as you backed away. 

“We may have only started dating recently, but I know you’re the one for me. Why wait to start the rest of our lives?”

“You’re a psychopath.” You breathed, moving away from him until your back was pressed against the wall. Hoseok hovered in front of you, clearly not knowing what else to say. “I can’t believe you fucking switched my birth control. What is wrong with you?”

His eyes flashed dangerously. 

“Now, now, sunshine. I understand you’re scared about this, and that’s okay, but don’t say things you don’t mean. You love me.” 

“I don’t.” You whispered, suppressing a whimper when he scowled. “I thought I loved you, but I don’t. I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“I’m the father of your child.” He snarled, gripping your wrist and tugging you forcefully towards the bathroom, snagging the bag from the store off the counter as he went. His sudden change in demeanour cowed you into submission. “And you’re going to apologise, and then you’re going to take this fucking test.” 

His grip on your arm was punishing.

“You’re hurting me,” You murmured, and he grunted in response, his hold not abating. “Think of the baby.” You added and his grip loosened immediately. 

He turned to you once you reached the doorway of the bathroom and gave you a tired smile. The one he used to give you at the end of the day before you both fell into bed and snuggled until you fell asleep. You tried to not let it affect you. 

“I’m sorry, sunshine, you’re right. I should be more careful with you now that you’re carrying something so precious and delicate. I’m glad to see you care about our baby so much.” He cupped your cheek lovingly, and for a second you forgot what he had done, forgot that he had betrayed your trust and taken your body for his own.

You leaned into his caress with a sigh and he hummed, pleased. He leaned in to press his forehead to yours, placing a chaste kiss on your cupid’s bow.

“I know you’re scared about this, baby. I know it’s a big change. But I also know that we can handle it. We are going to be the best parents in the whole world, I promise. Now go and take the test.”

He didn’t let you shut the bathroom door, but politely looked away as you conducted your business and waited until you had wrapped the used test in tissues and washed your hands.

You cleared your throat.

“Uhm, I- uh, it’s done?” 

No sooner had you finished your sentence before Hoseok swept into the room and into his arms, being careful not to squeeze you too tightly. 

“Oh, Sunshine, I’m so excited! I can imagine us as parents already!”

“You know,” you laughed nervously, “I might… not actually be pregnant. The first one could have been a false positive.”

His arms went rigid. 

“You are pregnant.” He stated, as if he refused to believe anything else. “You are pregnant, because you’re my perfect girl, and I know you’d never disappoint me like that.” 

“Hoseok-” You started, pulling away from him, but he didn’t let you go, clamping onto your wrists.

“You are pregnant. And if you aren’t, then you will be soon.” His face had become horrifyingly solemn. You whimpered as his nails started to dig into your skin. 

“H-Hobi, I’m not even sure if I want to have kids-” 

He raised his hand to strike you and you flinched back, one arm coming up to shield your face, the other protecting your stomach, and he softened immediately. 

“I’m sorry, sunshine, I just-” He sighed as you continued to cower from him, tugging you into his arms again regardless of your yelp of fear.

“You just aren’t getting it. Of course, I would’ve liked to marry you first before having kids, but I knew you might be a little silly about it. That’s why I decided we should get pregnant first. Now you definitely can’t leave me — because I know you’d never be that selfish and deprive your child of a father — and we can get married!”

You repressed the urge to struggle in his arms as he continued to describe his deluded visions. “You’ll look so stunning, sunshine, just think of it. You all in white, glowing, your belly swollen with my child, so everyone can see you’re mine. I’ve been thinking about it for years.” 

“Y-Years?” You laughed weakly, hoping he couldn’t sense your terror.

“Well, you don’t think our first meeting was by chance, right?” He chuckled, as if he were discussing some trivial matter, “So naïve, baby. I’ve just been waiting for the right moment. Doesn’t that make you feel special?” 

“Uh huh,” You replied, your voice strained. God, he was a psychopath. You were carrying the child of a psychopath. And listening to him plan your future wedding.

“You don’t know how happy I am that you’re finally pregnant, I’ve been getting quite impatient. After swapping out your pills for all those months… I was going to start taking… drastic measures pretty soon.” Hoseok laughed, pulling back to gaze at your face with twinkling eyes. 

If he saw the dread in your expression, he didn’t remark on it, just giving you his trademark heart-shaped smile. 

“Now, sunshine, let’s confirm what we already know, let me see the test!”

You took the tissue-wrapped stick off the rim of the sink, slowly peeling away the layers to reveal the damning results. You held your breath, not knowing what result to hope for. If you weren’t pregnant, you had no idea what Hoseok would do to you, but if you were…

The tissue paper slowly fell away, revealing a single blue strip. Negative. 

[alexiessan]

Never alone - Chapter Twenty Two - Soulmate AU

AO3

Previous - Here - Next

Master List

Alya apologized to Marinette and Damian the next day. Her apology to Marinette was genuine, but to Damian, it was mumbled and barely heard, but the youngest Wayne — known as Grayson to their classmates — didn’t say anything and gave her a pass.

The designer was happy that her boyfriend was willing to let this one slide, but she had a feeling that it would be the only time. If the reporter did something like that again, he probably would tear her a new one.

Alya had asked her if it was ok if Claude and she switched placed so she wouldn’t have to sit with Nino, as it was too awkward to do so. Selfishly, the Eurasian girl told her no. She enjoyed sitting next to Claude, and if Alya wanted to be friends with her ex-boyfriend in the future, it would be better that she didn’t let things be awkward for too long.

The journalist protested a little, but seeing that her friend wouldn’t change her mind — and because of the glare that Damian sent her way — she relented.

At the end of the week, Alya confided that it was a good thing that Marinette refused because while it was awkward, Nino and she talked things through and agreed that they wanted the other in their life. They decided that they would work things through and do their best to be friends.

The dark-haired girl was happy to hear that and apologized to her best friend for being selfish in the first place, but the bespectacled girl waved her off.

“You’re allowed to be selfish from time to time, you know? Plus it’s not a big deal, and it ended up helping us in the end. Not to mention, I was selfish first when I asked you to sit somewhere else so I could sit with Nino.”

They left it at that and while the Ladyblogger obviously hurt, she showed that she was willing to move on and be happy for her ex-boyfriend.

Meeting one’s soulmate was a happy moment, after all.

Working with Chloé was, surprisingly, pleasant.

Marinette remembered the Chloé from middle school, who made Sabrina do her homework for her and wouldn’t lift a finger and help them.

This Chloé was different. When they met, the blonde greeted her with a smile — a genuine one, not the smirks she was used to back in the days — and went to work immediately. She had a list of different topics they could work with that was in theme with what they picked, and even had some in common with her own.

They quickly agreed on a topic and, still having a lot of time ahead of them because they were so efficient, started doing their research.

They talked a little too, learning to know each other despite having been acquaintances for years now.

At the end of their study session, Marinette could say, and believe, that she and Chloé could be friends if they put enough effort into it.

Marinette lay on the bed next to Damian, exhausted but with a smile on her face, happy that this time, their… activities didn’t get interrupted.

At least, in the Wayne’s apartment, no one could barge in uninvited, and Dick respected them enough to knock and wait for an answer before coming in.

He didn’t want to see things that could scar him for life, he told them.

Marinette closed her eyes and smiled as Damian brought her closer to him, kissing the crown of her head. They were silent for a bit, enjoying each other’s presence when her soulmate cleared his throat.

“Have you seen Chat Noir since our last discussion?”

The blue-eyed girl pouted, not wanting to talk about business when they were relaxed like that, but knew that they had too.

Readjusting herself so she could see him better, her hand found its way on his chest and traced an invisible path.

“No, I haven’t,” she sighed, watching her hand move on his chest. “And I can’t seem to catch Adrien in school either. Max told me that he was in class, except when he has photo shoots scheduled, but when he’s there, he’s distant with everyone and keeps silent unless the teacher asks him a question.”

“It doesn’t look good,” the green-eyed boy — no, man — admitted, his hand rubbing circles on her back. “I hope he’s not going to turn on us.”

“I hope not,” Marinette breathed. “Did the voice correspond with Gabriel?”

The youngest Wayne nodded, and the French girl deflated.

“I see. So I was right all along. We could have stopped years ago.”

A hand on her chin forced her to look up into Damian’s eyes.

“Hey, now. It’s not your fault. You didn’t have any proof, and it’s not like you can barge in the man’s house without any evidence, hero or not. You didn’t have the means to look into it like we could. Don’t blame yourself,” he said and kiss her forehead to comfort her. “We’ll talk about a plan to take him down once we finally get hold of Agreste Son.”

Marinette chuckled at his unwillingness to call Adrien by his first name.

They stayed silent for a few minutes.

“So, you’re leaving at the beginning of May,” the fashion designer broke the silence, a sad smile on her lips.

“Yeah,” he breathed, cupping her jaw, “but I won’t be gone for long. I plan to go to University here, in Paris.”

The petite girl perked up. “Really?”

He nodded. “Yeah, but I still need to go back to take the tests and for graduation. And I need to make arrangements with my father since Robin won’t be there for a few years.”

“Graduation, huh?” she beamed, “It’s a pretty big deal in the US, right? With speeches and all the families, the students on the stage to receive their diploma and the gowns?!”

He chuckled. “Yeah, all that. How is graduation here?”

Marinette shrugged. “Eh, you know. We take the Baccalauréat, the, when we get the results, we go back to school, sign a paper and they give us our grades from the test and that’s it.”

Damian raised an eyebrow. “That’s it? I mean, I know we make a big deal out of it, but it seems anti-climatic.”

“I know, right?” she exclaimed, then looked at him. “What about prom?”

“It’s around the time of the test. I wasn’t planning to go.”

She gasped. “What? Why? It sounds amazing. In the movies and TV shows, there are always so many events, it makes me so envious.”

Damian frowned. “You don’t have a prom?”

Marinette shook her head. “No, we don’t. Some schools put a little something together, but not a lot. You know school is just that: school. No clubs, no sports teams, no big graduation, no prom. It’s boring.”

Damian smirked at her. “Well, I wasn’t planning to go to my prom, but now that I know that you won’t get to live it, I might just take you to mine.”

The black-haired girl laughed. “And how would we do that? You know I’m not supposed to use the Miraculous for personal reasons.”

“Not even just once?” he asked, smiling at her.

“Alright, maybe just once. But can you even take someone outside of school?”

He nodded. “I just have to fill in some paper.”

She smiled at him. That smile that she knows makes him weak. “Do you really mean it?”

“Of course.”

“Alright, then! I would be happy to go to prom with you!”

They kissed, long and deep, and started their earlier activities again, Marinette’s giggled filling the room.

It was after they got dressed and decided to watch a movie in the living room that Tikki appeared in front of them.

“Marinette, Chat Noir is trying to call you,” she said, looking serious.

Not waiting another moment, Marinette transformed and stood in front of the white wall so that she could have a neutral background.

“Hey, Chat. Haven’t seen you in a while,” she greeted him when she answered his call.

Chat looked so tired at the other end, it made her heart break at the sight.

“Ladybug. I need to talk to you. Alone, if possible.”

Ladybug could see Damian frown from the couch, not liking the demand.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

The cat-themed hero sighed. “I would rather not tell you over the phone. Meet me at our usual spot.”

With that, he hung up, not giving her a choice.

“You’re not going to let me go alone, right?”

Damian scoffed. “Of course not. I’ve texted Grayson. We’ll go with you but we’ll stay out of sight.”

Ladybug sighed. “Alright, then.”

For the first time in a long time, Ladybug’s instinct failed her. She had no idea what was waiting for her when she would meet with her partner.

Adrien hadn’t slept well in a week now. How could he, after what his father showed him?

His mother, his sweet, beautiful, and kind mother was in a coma, lying in a coffin of glass.

Just like Snow White. Except, here, a kiss from her husband won’t wake her up.

Apparently, the damaged Peacock Miraculous was what put her in a coma.

But why, in the first place, did she have the Miraculous? And what was she using it for?

But this was why his father became Hawkmoth. Why he wanted the Cat and Ladybug Miraculous. So he could make a wish and had his family whole again.

It was everything Adrien ever wanted.

But, was he ready to take the risk? Who knew who would pay the price for their selfish wish? What if Ladybug fell into a coma to make up for his mother’s awakening? What if something even bigger happened and not just once, but hundreds, thousands of people paid the price?

Adrien wouldn’t be able to live with that.

But… His mother.

His mother that he loved so, so much and that loved him back as much.

Tears slowly fell out of the model’s eyes as he put his Miraculous back on his finger for the first time since he took it off a week ago when he went to confront his father.

“Kid, what’s wrong?”

Adrien let out a sob and didn’t try to contain his tears.

“It’s him, Plagg. My father is Hawkmoth.”

The black Kwami has never looked so sad. Floating to him, he squeezed himself between his chosen’s neck and shoulder, silently bringing him comfort.

Only when Adrien cried himself dry did he break the silence.

“What are you going to do.”

The blonde’s face lost all trace of confusion and insecurity, leaving a determined boy.

“I know what to do. I need to contact Ladybug for that,” Plagg’s eyes widened in fear. “Plagg, claws out.”

When Ladybug arrived on their spot — the rooftop of a warehouse a little bit outside of the city, away from the prying eyes of curious civilians — Chat Noir was already there, humming a song to himself.

“Chat Noir?” she called, catching his attention.

Chat Noir turned around, smiling at Ladybug.

Well, if she could call that a smile. It was more a grimace, to be honest.

“Hi, Ladybug. Thanks for meeting me on such short notice.”

He stood up from the edge of the roof and made his way to her. Slowly, he took her hand in his, giving it a little squeeze.

“You and the birds were right, bug. Hawkmoth is Gabriel Agreste. But he’s not just that. He’s my father.”

Ladybug didn’t say anything, sensing that he wasn’t done. His hand squeezed hers a little harder, but she kept silent.

“He… He’s doing all that for my mother. To bring her back. She fell into a coma years ago and… And he’s taking desperate measures to bring our family back together,” he said, catching his breath. Ladybug could see him tear up.

“I… I want my family back together. I love my mother so much, you have no idea.”

She didn’t like where this was going.

“I want nothing more than having my family as a whole.”

The red-clothed hero took a step back, but Chat Noir’s hand brought her back closer to him.

“But,” he started, releasing her. “I’m not sure I could leave with the consequences of the wish,” he admitted.

And then, he took his ring off.

“I’m sorry, Plagg, Ladybug,” he said, crying silently as he petted Plagg for the last time. “But I can’t be Chat Noir anymore. I can’t promise that I wouldn’t turn on you one day. I’m too weak. So I’m giving you my Miraculous back, so I can’t give him the power he needs.”

He put the ring in her hand, closing it in a fist.

“And I know you will have to take him down. That I’ll have to live without my father. And it’s alright I understand. I forgive you, even if there is nothing to forgive, but I don’t want you to beat yourself over it. My father is a criminal, and he needs to face charges like every other criminal.”

She opened her mouth to speak but he raised his hand, silently telling her to stay quiet.

“I’ve always imagined that we would take Hawkmoth down together. That we would then reveal our identity to each other. But then, I always imagined us to be soulmates, and we’re not. I… After that, I don’t want anything to do with the Miraculous. It’s what put my mother in a coma in the first place, and it gave my father the power to terrorize the city.”

He took a deep breath.

“It’s better that I never know your identity,” he smiled, wiping his tears.

This smile was real.

“This is goodbye, My Lady.”

She opened her mouth to protest but he put his hands on her mouth, not letting her say a word.

“Please, don’t speak. I’ve made up my mind. Nothing you could say would change anything. Don’t make this harder for me, please.”

She nodded and he stepped away, to the edge of the building where a ladder was for easy access to the roof.

“Goodbye, then.”

And he left.

Ladybug let a shaky breath out, not realizing what just happened. The ring in her hand seemed to weigh so much and to burn.

A hand on her shoulder startled her, and she turned around to see Robin, a grim look on his face. Without a word, he took her in his arms, letting her know that he was there for her.

The heroine wanted to cry. It has been so long since she allowed herself to feel strong emotions that weren’t positive.

But Hawkmoth could still take advantage of her, and she wouldn’t let him.

So she just hugged Robin tighter, nodding at Nightwing that stood behind the vigilante.

She would cry later.

Tag List: 

@bigpicklebananatree​ @animegirlweeb​ @crazylittlemunchkin​ @northernbluetongue​ @cutechip​ @justafanwarrior​ @iloontjeboontje​ @resignedcatservant @maribat-is-lifeblood​ @i-like-fairytail-and-stuff​ @toodaloo-kangaroo​ @mikantsume​ @dast218​ @amayakans​ @zestyzealot​ @lunarwolfspn​ @corabeth11​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @olynix​ @aestheticnpoetic​ @hot-neighbour-nextdoor​ @thehufflepuffranger-blog​ @k-poplunardreams​ @tis-i-beanbandit​ @bluesimani​ @laurcad123​ @notmycupoftea26​

[sheewolf85]

New Fic - Right Where You Belong

Summary: Based on Twitter ramblings from Keelywolfe, Nanenna, myself, and many others!

Edge is the older brother here, only a teenager himself and living on the streets with Red when he's invited by Rus to stay at his place with his dad and younger brother. He can watch the kids while Rus goes to work at the lab with Gaster! It's perfect! And it is, for a while, until one day the kids get into a fight and Blue gets hurt.

As much as Edge wants to comfort the kids and make sure everything is okay, he can't help but wonder what's going to happen when Rus and Gaster get home. Will he and his brother lose their warm, safe home?

Notes: This has been stuck in my head ever since this morning when it was talked about on Twitter. It had to be written!

One quick note here, Edge and Rus are the same age, about sixteen or so. Rus can't do much at the lab, but enough to earn a bit of cash to help out with the bills.

I want to gift this to the ppl on Twitter, but I feel like I'd miss someone, so, if you were part of the twitter convo, consider this your gift!

Read it AO3 

Or read after the cut

Stars, he was tired. He hadn’t slept well the night before because his baby brother hadn’t slept well, and all Edge wanted was a damn nap that he wasn’t likely to get anytime soon seeing as how he was the only one in the house to watch the two younger kids.

Which, admittedly, he wasn’t doing a very good job of at the moment. But they were fine; they were in Blue’s room playing while Edge attempted to keep his sockets open in the living room. He was listening, though, and they seemed to be playing some sort of superhero game, both of them being the heroes while several of Blue’s stuffed animals played the bad guys. It was honestly cute, even if they were both a bit grouchy today.

To top it off, neither of the toddlers had taken a nap. Edge had honestly expected Red to pass right the heck out since he’d barely slept the night before, but no, he was chattering to himself the whole hour while Blue sang himself lullabies.

It wasn’t much of a surprise when their play turned a bit sour, their gentle squabbling over which villain was going to get their butt handed to them next turning into an all-out argument complete with raised voices and name-calling.

Edge really should have gotten up to check on them and help them calm down fifteen minutes ago. He shouldn’t have let it go on so long, but he was so tired!

Red screeching in anger got Edge to his feet in a hurry. He made it to the doorway of Blue’s room just in time to see Red throw a toy at Blue. It hit him square in the face with enough force to knock him down and smack the back of his head on another toy.

Blue was immediately in tears, screaming in both pain and anger as Edge rushed over to check him. Edge’s soul began to pound as Blue sat up and marrow dripped from nasal aperture. There was the tiniest of cracks on the left side, close to his socket.  

Edge’s mind began to race at the sight of the crack. He could only barely remember how he’d gotten the vast majority of his scars, but he knew they all hurt when they were fresh.

“i didn’t mean to!” Red hollered, running up to them.

Blue kicked at him, screaming again and barely missing his knee by a few inches.

Edge pulled his little brother back, away from potential harm by Blue’s flailing feet. “I know, Red, but you can’t throw things like that!”  He turned his attention back to Blue. “Shhh, it’s okay, Blue,” he said softly. “You’re okay; let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” He helped Blue to his feet. “Red, I want you to stay here and think about what you’ve done while I help Blue.”

Red sniffled and nodded, his gaze on his feet. Edge so wanted to scoop him up and remind him that these things happened but he needed to try to control himself a little better. He didn’t have time; he had to get Blue at least cleaned up before Rus and Gaster got home.

Thinking of Rus and Gaster only made his soul pound harder. Gaster was a great father, very kind and attentive to his two boys, and Rus was the kind of older brother Edge so wished he could be. The fact that Gaster even let Edge and Red stay in their home spoke to the kind of man he was, even if Edge did work for his stay. He cooked and cleaned and cared for the children, but he’d do it all four times over if Gaster asked it of him.

He set a still-sobbing Blue on the counter by the kitchen sink and turned on the faucet to wet a paper towel. After wringing it out one-handed, he tried to gently wipe at Blue’s face. Blue screeched louder and pushed Edge’s hand away.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Blue,” he said gently. “I’m not going to hurt you, buddy, but I need to get you cleaned up so I can see if you need a healer.” Stars, he hoped Blue wouldn’t need a healer.

Blue whined and looked up at Edge with bright, starry eye lights, but he nodded and let Edge do what had to be done. Gently dabbing the smeared marrow away, Edge could finally see the extent of the crack. It didn’t go through his bone like the one in Edge’s socket, thank goodness. It was only on the outer surface of the bone, but that surely didn’t mean it hurt any less.

It had stopped bleeding finally and soon Edge had the little guy all cleaned up. He took him to change his clothes and then set the boys in different rooms for time out, which only resulted in more screaming from children who were adamant that they were okay now and wanted to play. Red even kicked at him just before he shut the door to their shared room.

Both kids in time out, their muffled cries still echoing through the house, Edge found himself in the bathroom and locked the door. Sitting on the floor by the bathtub, he drew his knees up and let his head fall between them. He tried to wrap his arms around his head to block out the sound, but it was hopeless. Even among the cries from frustrated children, Edge could hear the memory of Blue’s painful screaming.

He was going to have a bruise, that was certain. Even if the crack were somehow miraculously healed by the time Blue’s father and older brother came home, there was no way to hide what had happened.

Guilt twisted in Edge’s soul. Would he really have tried to hide it? What kind of person was he? Gaster trusted him with his youngest child, and that was how he was going to repay his kindness? No, he had to be honest and let the chips fall as they may.

A tight sob forced its way out of Edge’s chest. He knew exactly how the chips were going to fall. This was all his fault, and if Gaster was even a fraction as smart as Edge knew him to be, he and his brother would be back out on the streets by tonight.

If it were only Edge himself, he could handle that. He’d made a mistake and he’d pay the price. What was killing him now wasn’t what he was going to lose. No, it was that his baby brother was going to have to pay that price right along with him. Red didn’t belong on the streets. He deserved to have a filling meal each night and a warm, safe place to sleep.

If there was a way to ask Gaster to please keep Red here, he’d do it, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know if it was selfishness or the knowledge that Red could be a handful, but he would not ask Gaster to care for his brother.

The sudden vibration of his phone in his pocket made him jump. He hurried to his feet and pulled out to silence the blaring alarm.

He swore under his breath and went to the sink to try to clean up. Rus and Gaster would be home within the hour, and he hadn’t even started anything for dinner.

Splashing some water on his face only marginally helped, but it was enough to calm the panic still aching in his chest. A few deep breaths later, he opened the door and went to let the kids know they could be free from time out.

Except both their doors were open and the two were playing quietly together in Blue’s room. He stood in the doorway and folded his arms across his chest.

“What are you two doing out of time out?” he asked, eyeing the both of them. The discoloration of a bruise was already starting to bloom around Blue’s left eye.

“You were in the bathroom crying for a long time,” Blue said sadly. “Are you okay?”

Stars, he was going to miss that kid.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Are you both going to be good now or do I need to separate you again?”

This time it was Red who answered. “we’re being good. i even said i was sorry.”

Well, that was something, at least. “Good. I’m going to start dinner.”  Hopefully he’d have enough time to at least enjoy it with the family.

Learning to cook had been an experience Edge would never forget. He loved being able to craft tasty dinners and treats, and having a stocked kitchen like he did here made it easy to decide on something to make. At least, most of the time. Now, as Edge surveyed the cupboards, he couldn’t think of a single thing. Nothing seemed good enough. The kids, and probably Rus, would go for something simple like chili dogs or chicken strips, but if this was going to be the last real dinner Red was going to have for a while, Edge wanted to make it count.

He still hadn’t been able to decide on anything by the time the door opened. Edge closed his eyes and gripped the side of the counter behind him to keep his balance as Blue shrieked in joy and went running down the hall.

“Daddy!” he cried, just like every day when Gaster and Rus got home, and Edge could imagine Gaster scooping him up just like always.

“Hello, there!” Gaster’s voice called out happily. “How are--oh my! What happened to your socket?”

“Red threw a toy at me.”

Edge hurried out to the living room to try to explain.

Gaster looked up at him, concern on his scarred features. “Hello, Edge,” he said calmly.

“It was my fault,” Edge admitted. “I wasn’t watching them as carefully as I should have. I promise you, Red has been punished.” He wouldn’t say that all he’d gotten was time out. He swallowed, suddenly hoping neither Gaster nor Rus would ask.

Red peeked around the corner, and Edge’s soul hurt at the expression on his tiny face. He had hoped and prayed so many times that Red wouldn’t remember what they’d been through before living on the streets, but that expression told him otherwise. Even if he didn’t remember specifics, he knew enough.

“i said i was sorry,” Red said softly, more a confession than a defiant statement.

To Edge’s surprise, Rus went over and kneeled down by Red. “of course you’re sorry, buddy. we don’t mean to hurt our friends, but sometimes we get cranky and it happens, right?”

Red nodded and reached out with both arms, a silent request for a hug. Rus scooped him up and hugged him tightly.

“are you okay?” Rus asked, bouncing Red lightly in his arms.

Red nodded, and the urge to pull him out of Rus’ arms was nearly overwhelming. Edge forced himself to stay where he was.

“And you?” Gaster asked, looking at Edge. “Are you okay?”

Him? “I--”

“He cried for a long time,” Blue said sadly. “But I couldn’t hug him because the door was locked.”

Edge swallowed thickly, his cheekbones heating up.

“Which door was locked?” Gaster asked curiously, an undertone of something perhaps more serious.

“The bathroom,” Blue replied. “He was in the bathroom.”

Tattletale.

Edge sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. He had to clear his throat before he could speak. “They weren’t alone for too long, Sir--I mean, Gaster.”

In truth, Edge had no idea how long they were alone. Probably more than an hour, which was entirely too long.

Gaster bent to put Blue down and then settled a hand on Rus’ shoulder. “Will you take the little ones to play for a moment? I’d like to have a word with Edge.”

Rus must have agreed because he coaxed the kids down the hall with promises of the best blanket fort in the world.

“Edge? Come sit down with me.”

Gaster didn’t touch him, not exactly. He reached out and almost set a hand on his shoulder like he did with his own son, stopping just before making contact. Edge only nodded and went with him to the living room. He knew what was going to happen next, and while he wasn’t prepared, he knew it was inevitable. It had been from the beginning.

They sat on the couch together, Gaster folding his hands in his lap.

“First and foremost, I want to assure you that I understand how you feel. Maybe not exactly, but close enough. I understand that bad days happen, especially when children are cranky. I can tell from Blue’s eyes that he didn’t nap today, and I’d say from what I saw of Red’s face that it was the same with him?”

Edge nodded, his gaze kept firmly on his knees.

“You’ve handled them so well, Edge, that I have no doubts you handled the situation today with care and love.”

That time Edge shook his head. He had to be honest. “No, I didn’t. They were alone in the bedroom and I didn’t even get up to check on them until they started arguing.”

“Why is that a bad thing?” Gaster asked.

Edge looked at him then, a little surprised. “Because I know how Red is. He’s got a temper when he’s well-rested, and today he was not.”

But Gaster smiled. “You’re right, he does have a temper. But that doesn’t mean you have to be there every moment to stop him from lashing out. What he needs is to learn that his actions have consequences and to understand that only he can control his anger.”

“But Blue--”

“Got hurt. Yes, he did, but that’s not your fault either. Not entirely. What I’m saying, Edge, is that I’m not going to kick you out or ask you to leave. Red needs a stable environment to learn how to control his temper, and you need a safe place to help teach him.”

Edge felt the tears begin to form in his sockets and tried to blink them away. He looked at Gaster for a moment before he could ask his next question.

“Why are you being so kind to us?”

Gaster smiled again, soft and comforting. “I know a thing or two about living on the streets, Edge. I never had a little brother to care for, though, and I can’t, in good conscience, let the two of you go back to that life.”

Edge nodded slowly, trying to wrap his mind around this new perspective. He and Red weren’t going to be homeless again. He sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“I didn’t start dinner,” he finally said.

“Well, that’s a different story then, isn’t it?” Gaster said, a tease in his voice. “I suppose punishment will have to be cooking with me.”

“Oh no,” Edge deadpanned, “please, not that.”

He couldn’t hide a smile in the face of Gaster’s laughter, and together they went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

[atths--twice]

Okay... so Nothing Lasts Forever... I have to admit that the only parts of it I truly enjoy are the MSR scenes. The rest of the episode is creepy and honestly gross to me. So, the focus of this chapter will be on their relationship and not the story line. I think we can all agree that that is what is most important anyway, right? I mean, come on...

Chapter Thirty Nine 

Shining Light  

Time spent in church, prayers, discussions and decisions, lead to conversations that should have been had years ago.

March 2018

Scully woke up and felt off, the same way she had been feeling for a few days now. Something was not right, and she could tell. Turning onto her back, she sighed, so many thoughts running through her head. Closing her eyes she thought of the last few days.

Mulder had come over after the case in Connecticut and they had spent the night together, each healing the other in turn. They slept together, holding tight to the other, and she had ordered breakfast for them when they woke.

When he left, his eyes were saying things his mouth was not, and she felt inexplicably nervous. He kissed her forehead and left, no words spoken, and then no call or text for a couple of days. Things were strange between them, and she felt confused and off balance.

Pushing the covers back, she sat up and sighed, making a decision. She would go to mass and see if that helped. Recently she had been doing that more often, spending time at a church near the hotel. She did not always make it for a mass, but she found simply sitting in the church to be calming and peaceful. She took a quick shower, dressed, and headed for church.

The coolness of the holy water, the scent of the candles and pews, and the beauty of the stained glass brought back so many memories from her childhood. First communion, confirmation, her rebellious pull from church, her mother’s desire for her to find her faith once again, and how she found it again following her cancer diagnosis.

She sighed as she sat and closed her eyes, listening to the priest as he began to speak, but at the same time not paying much attention, drawing strength instead from the building itself and the memories it held. She felt for the quarter on a chain in her pocket and thought of her mother. She wished her mother was there, sitting beside her, ready to listen and offer advice for the worries plaguing her heart.

Scully knew how much her mother loved Mulder. She had known for years, and she could almost hear what her mother would say - It’s your decision, Dana. Nobody can make the decision for you.

Yes, she might say those words, but her eyes would silently be praying and begging for her to go back to him, to find her happiness again, and for them to be them again.

If only it were that easy …

She sighed again, her fingers rolling across the quarter in her pocket. “I’m trying,” she whispered. “We’re trying.” Sighing again, she let the quarter go and clasped her hands together, prayers passing silently across her lips.

Communion received, her mind still racing, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Glancing at the screen, she sighed and walked out of the church, heading to meet Mulder for a new case.

Seeing the manner in which the victims were killed and the reason for it made Scully feel uneasy, because it reminded her  of the case with Father Joe. She hated what that case did to her and Mulder, but it had forced them to talk in order to move forward. Following that case, a shift occurred. It was still a dark and sad time and was not something she liked to think about.

She investigated liver transplants in the area and found nothing out of the ordinary. Feeling the need to go back to a church, she texted Mulder where she would be and sent him the address. Opening the doors, she walked inside and dipped her fingers into the holy water, crossing herself as she knelt a bow at the pew before she sat down.

She sighed as she attempted to find peace in the church. So many thoughts swirled in her head, with Mulder first and foremost. She knew he was enjoying and welcoming this slow walk back to each other, and so was she, but what was the plan for the future? Were they just going to continue on this … visiting each other for comfort? Hanging out, going out to eat, and then sex if they felt like it? It was nice, very nice, but it was not enough. She wanted more, but was also scared to take that leap again.

She closed her eyes as she thought of the hurt she had suffered from their separation. The loneliness, the solitude, the feeling of missing her other half. She thought of William, or Jackson, whatever name he went by, and she knew she had failed him. His parents, the ones he had known his entire life, were dead and he was all alone in the world. A boy with amazing abilities who had no way of understanding how or why he possessed them was now alone and scared. Being young, ignorant, and powerful  was a lethal combination, and she feared for him.

Opening her eyes, she looked to the front of the church and made a decision. She stood up and walked toward the candles, intending to light as many as she felt were needed to address the challenges she, Mulder, and their son now faced. Not many were lit initially and for that she was grateful. She knew she was going to be asking for a lot.

She did not want to be selfish in her prayers, so she lit one asking for peace and guidance for her family members. Nieces and nephews making life decisions they may not be prepared to undertake. She lit another and prayed for wisdom to do her job to the best of her ability and to help those who were unable to help themselves. She lit one for William, praying that one day she would have the chance to tell him the truth and be given a chance to explain why she made the decisions she made. The last candle she lit, she prayed for Mulder, for peace, understanding, and guidance that would be required for them to find their way back to one another.

As she lit his candle, Mulder appeared at her side joking about not bursting into flames as he crossed the threshold. She smiled at his joke, her prayer still in her head as she told him of the liver transplant recipients all being accounted for as he struggled to read off the information he gathered from a document on his phone without his glasses on.

“Oh, God, help me,” he said and she stared at him, amused. “Sorry.” He looked up and raised his hands as he put his glasses on, reading the screen of his phone and telling her what he discovered.

“I think we should hand this over to the NYC Organized Crime division, Mulder. I don't think this is an X-File,” she said, looking at him and shaking her head, as he raised his head in intrigue. “I'm gonna need some time here. I can meet up with you later, or you can wait for me.” He nodded and put his hand on her back before walking away.  

She turned back to the candles, needing to finish her prayer. This one was for herself and she prayed for wisdom and guidance, and to not be such a fucking coward. With a small groan, she asked for forgiveness at her choice of language and crossed herself as she turned around.

What she saw made her heart skip and her breath catch. There Mulder sat, waiting for her, just as she had suggested. Though she had suggested and hoped, she had assumed he would wait for her as he always had, outside, or even meeting up at a nearby coffee shop. She honestly thought he had left to do just that, leaving her standing there alone, but he was different now. They were different. Maybe her prayers had been heard after all.

“You waited,” she said quietly as she came to stand beside him. He looked up at her and away from the bible he held in his hands. Once more she had to ask for forgiveness, as the glasses he wore gave her some very impure thoughts.

“I waited,” he answered in the affirmative, sliding over so she could join him in the pew. She sat beside him and smiled as he went back to looking at the bible in his hands. Her prayers continued as she sat down, her thoughts jumbling together as the past and present began to blend.

She heard him mentioning the scripture about vengeance and she smiled, telling him it was a common biblical passage. He looked so disheartened that she felt the need to share something with him.

“Did I ever tell you how I came to believe in God?” she asked quietly, knowing he would get a kick out of the story.

“No,” he said, shaking his head.

“When my brother Charlie was a baby, he got seriously ill. I think I was about four. I later learned that it was rheumatic fever.”

“Hmm,” Mulder nodded.

“Every night, Mom would tell us to get on our knees and pray for his recovery.”

“Your prayers were answered. He lived.”

“Only, after the first couple nights, I wasn’t praying for him,” she said, thinking of being a little girl again, her prayers so big. “I was praying for a puppy.” Mulder gave a big quiet laugh, and she laughed with him. “And we got one that Christmas. I thought God had performed a miracle.”

“I finally know why I’m not a Christian, Scully. My parents never got me a puppy,” Mulder said with a smile, and she laughed quietly.

“So are you-you praying for another miracle now?” he asked her curiously.

“I don’t know if I do believe in miracles. But I do know the power of faith,” she told him softly, as she took her mother’s quarter from her pocket. “I saw it in my mom, the strength that she received.” She stared at the quarter, holding it in her fingers. “I could use some of that strength now.”

She put the quarter back in her pocket and smiled. “I need what you have. You always bear north, Mulder … no matter which way or how hard the wind blows against you.” She stared at him with a smile, and he smiled back.

“I think all I have- all any of us have are the results of all the choices that we’ve made. And at the end of the day, we just hope that we made the right one,” he said softly and she nodded, closing her eyes, her choices weighing heavy on her heart. “Don’t know if that measures to what you’re saying, but it’s what I feel.” She opened her eyes and looked at him, his smile so open. She sighed and nodded again.

“Five minutes, okay?” she whispered, and he nodded, putting his glasses back on and picking up the Bible.

“Make it ten, I’m really interested in the Old Testament. Curious what happens to this Joseph fellow,” Mulder said and she laughed, closing her eyes again.  

“Oh." She heard beside her a few minutes later. “That took a dark turn.” She heard the book close and then his deep sigh. She smiled again, both of them then quiet as they sat in a shared pew.

_____________________

Walking down the street to the church, Scully rolled her neck, fighting the crick in it since falling down the elevator shaft a few days ago. Shaking her head and then giving her whole body a quick shake, she attempted to release the thoughts of the possibility she had faced of falling to her death.

What a horrible way to go, she thought, shaking her head again.

Walking through the doors of the church, she took a second to look at the stained glass, as she always did. The colors were beautiful and this time of day, they were even more so. This was one of her favorite churches, mainly because of the beauty within the architecture and spectrum of light the windows created.

Sighing, she stepped to the candles, needing to offer up prayers again. More of the same, but one in particular. Crossing herself, she stared at them and then at the window above, admiring their beauty. She took a deep breath and grabbed a stick, lighting the first candle and giving thanks for her health and for no broken bones or serious injury in her fall. Another candle, asking for health and safety of her family. Another, for her mother, thankful for the love and advice she bestowed upon all of those around her. Another, for herself, asking for guidance and strength to do what she knew she wanted but was still afraid to voice.

The last candle was for Mulder. Well, more importantly for Mulder and her and the decision weighing heavily upon her mind and heart. Before she could offer up a prayer, the candle went out, and she heard Mulder’s footfall behind her. She would know that gait anywhere.

She turned and looked at him, and then back to the candle, the irony and humor not lost on her. He may not have burst into flames when he entered the church before, but here at the one she frequented, he apparently had some kind of power, making the last and most important candle go out.

“That must be a sign. I’m all out of miracles. Turn back. Give up.” He smiled and reached for a stick. “Accept your place in the numbing embrace of the status quo.”

“Mm-mmm,” he hummed, lighting the stick. “I will … relight your candle and extend your prayers through mine.” She smiled as she watched him, knowing he had no idea the intention she placed upon that candle.

“What prayers?” she asked, unable to resist teasing him.

“I can’t tell you. They won’t come true,” he said with a shrug.

“It’s a prayer candle, Mulder. Not a birthday cake.” She laughed and he chuckled softly.

“Prayers aren’t meant to be sentiment. It’s a conversation,” she said, looking down at the candles. “You can do it like a meditation, or if your needs exceed your grasp, you can ask God to act on your behalf. But you don’t believe in God,” she said, glancing up at him. “So you’d essentially be talking to yourself.”

“Well, I might not believe in God, but I believe in you. Therefore I speak to him through you.” She stared at him as he spoke, but he was not finished. “Through the transitive property of equality. If ‘A’ equals ‘B’ and ‘B’ equals ‘C,’ therefore ‘A’ equals ‘C.’ Reason and faith in harmony. Isn’t that why we’re so good together?” he asked her.

She stared at him, raising her eyebrows and moving her head, her eyes dropping to his lips. “Are we together?” He looked down, his face sad and thoughtful. He took a breath and started to answer her, but she cut him off. “You know, I believed I could protect our son, and I failed. I thought we could live together, and I fled.” She looked at him sideways, almost unable to meet his gaze head on. “I gave up on that, too.” She looked down and kept her eyes on the candles,

“If only you’d fled earlier,” he said and she looked at him. “You know how many times I’ve envisioned that scenario, where you left that basement office before I even needed glasses? You’d have your health, your dog, your sister.” He stared at her and she stared back. “You’d be Kersh’s boss at the FBI, and be married to some brain surgeon, and have a bunch of kids that you wouldn’t have to give up.”

She took a breath, waiting a beat. “Mulder, I don’t begrudge you any of those things. That’s not what I was talking about,” she said, looking down and then back up at him again.

“Well, what are we talking about, Scully? Because I don’t know if any God is listening, but I am standing right here, and I am listening. Right beside you. I’m all ears. That’s my choice.”

She stared at him, millions of thoughts running through her head. How she gave up William, gave up on them, and ran away. She did leave, but it had been for good reason, and yet … Still though, one thing had remained the same no matter the hurt and the pain they caused each other. He was there beside her, and she knew he always would be, no matter the context or label.

She looked around the church, having no idea how he even knew she would be there, and looked to see if anyone was around before she leaned forward and began to whisper in his ear. She thought about what she wanted to say, what words would be enough to convey her innermost feelings and desires.

“I’m ready, Mulder. For everything. I want my mystery answered and to stop chasing monsters.” He stood still and stared at her. She needed him to understand, to know her heart completely.

“That’s not my four-year-old self looking for a miracle,” she said, taking a deep breath. “That’s my leap of faith forward. And I’d like to do it together.”

Mulder nodded and kept his eyes on her. “I’ve always wondered how this was gonna end.” He stared at her before turning to pick up a stick and light the last remaining candle.

They stood there and watched the flame flicker and then his hand was holding hers and the tears in her eyes spilled over. “Like a conversation, you said?” he asked softly and she nodded, wiping at her eyes. He took a deep breath and squeezed her hand, keeping his eyes on the candles, as she watched his face.

“You didn’t flee, you saved us both. You didn’t give up on anything Scully, least of all me, or us. You saved us." He turned to her and stared into her eyes. “I told you years ago that you saved me, and that is just as true today as it was then. Even more so. You’ve been saving me for twenty five years, Scully. Keeping me honest and making me a whole person. Even apart, you are what keeps me whole.” He put his hand on her face and stroked her cheek, his thumb brushing away her tears. “Your goddamn strict rationalism. Oh …” He looked up heavenward, horrified, and she laughed, putting her hand over his on her cheek.

She closed her eyes as she laughed and cried, before opening them to look at him. His face was serious, and he let go of her hand to hold her face gently, shaking his head as he did.

“I stopped seeing you. I looked too far into the dark, and my shining light got left behind. A light only lasts so long before it goes out, the darkness swallowing it up." He shook his head and she cried harder, holding onto his wrist. “If you had stayed, your light would have gone out and we both … Scully, I can’t even fathom it. You didn’t flee, you made a decision that hurt. We were broken, and you saved us from being broken beyond repair. Any other form of breaking …” He sighed and shook his head.

She closed her eyes again, and he rested his forehead against hers. She took shaky breaths and then pulled back, looking at him, the man she loved for most of her life. She moved her hand from his wrist and stepped back, moving his hands from her face, holding them in her own. She looked down at their hands, his so large, keeping hers safe within.

“Scully,” he said so quietly, it was like a breath. He interlocked their fingers and squeezed as she looked up at him. He searched her face and she smiled softly. He glanced at the candles and took a breath. “I don’t know where to begin, how to answer our mystery, Scully. I don’t know how to find someone who is determined to stay hidden, as he should, but …” He turned his head to her and smiled gently. “Without hesitation, I would go to the ends of the earth to find him, if that’s what I need to do.”

“For the second time?” she said with a soft smile and he smiled with a nod.

“I know a guy with access to a snow cat,” he said with a shrug, and she laughed softly before letting go of his hands and stepping closer to him, her hands on his chest. He stared at her, and she sighed.

“I love you, Mulder,” she whispered. He grinned and put his hands on her waist, holding her lightly.

“If I kiss you, will the lightning hit me?” he asked softly, and she laughed again.

“It won’t, but I might if you don’t,” she said quietly, and he nodded, bending his head and kissing her softly, making her heart race. He straightened up and his hands pulled her closer, his forehead once more falling to hers.

“I love you, Scully. More than you could ever quantify or understand,” he whispered, and she smiled.

“Show off,” she whispered back, his answering chuckle making her smile.

They stood there, in front of the light of the candles, the beauty of the stained glass beside them, foreheads pressed together, and silent prayers being said between them. She closed her eyes, her decision made, her heart at peace. He was there, holding the other end of the line, making sure to never let her go again.

____________________________________________________

Like I said, I choose to focus on the less gory aspects of the episode as the MSR is so much better to gaze upon anyway. For so many reasons. 

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, October 12

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Queen Elizabeth’s 73-year sham marriage to Prince Philip collapses

Page 2: Kanye West is in top-secret talks to launch his own TV network and is crowing it will be bigger than the Kardashians -- he wants it to reflect his lofty vision of what the world should be and to provide a spiritual awakening for the masses but he doesn’t realize there aren’t a lot of people who want to spend hours a day listening to him rant about how the world would be a better place if he was in charge -- meanwhile Kim Kardashian is at the end of her rope again 

Page 3: Furious Angelina Jolie is tearing into Brad Pitt’s new girlfriend Nicole Poturalski blasting her as a scheming psycho and as a borderline stalker who is dating Brad just to get famous and it’s going to end in disaster for the whole family not just him so she’s already told Brad to keep Nicole away from their kids and she’s looking to make this part of their ongoing legal case 

Page 4: Newly single Kelly Clarkson has enlisted fellow country star Maren Morris to help her find a new man -- Maren advised Kelly to use her talk show to connect with men she admires but Kelly may have taken her advice a little too literally when she had her crush Keanu Reeves on the show and was drooling all over him though she knows it’s probably wishful thinking 

Page 5: Ellen DeGeneres kicked off her new season by publicly apologizing for allegations of misconduct on her talk show but body language experts blasted her remarks as tone deaf and missing the mark totally 

Page 6: Jimmy Fallon’s wife Nancy Juvonen is furious over the time he spends nurturing his bond with close pal Kathie Lee Gifford -- Jimmy loves to reminisce about the old days at NBC with the former Today yakker especially during today’s challenging times and he worships her and he’s the only late-night host who treats Kathie Lee like an A-lister but Nancy can’t stand Kathie Lee’s constant self-obsessed talk and considers her a squeaky third wheel 

Page 7: Cher keeps trying to turn back time with plastic surgery but the results have been disastrous and although she insists her most recent work is a facelift her kisser is frozen and packed with Botox and fillers and lip injections -- she also appears to have had a nose job and a face and neck lift to achieve a smooth jawline and neck and the results have left Cher barely able to move her face and even made it difficult for her to speak let alone sing, disgraced chef Paula Deen had emergency eye surgery this summer in a desperate bid to save her sight -- Paula had been suffering from declining vision for months and was shocked when doctors told her the cornea was dying and going under the knife was necessary to save her sight 

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Tiger Woods took a brief break during practice, Leighton Meester caught some waves in Malibu, Kristen Taekman in a New York Jets bikini, Dolph Lundgren doffed his mask after leaving a lunch date in Beverly Hills, Dominic Cooper took his electric bike for a spin in London 

Page 11: Cash-strapped Tori Spelling and husband Dean McDermott are back in couples therapy and on the verge of filing for bankruptcy -- they’re in counseling for the same old stuff which is their constant fighting and spending money and work that isn’t happening -- the parents of five were hit with tax liens totaling nearly $1 million and were also sued by American Express over an unpaid credit card bill of almost $90,000 which Tori asked her mother Candy Spelling who is worth about $600 million to pay but Candy refused and after Candy revealed her plans to leave her fortune to animal charities Tori and Dean may file for bankruptcy because they both love to spend, Bravo bigwigs are hoping hotel heiress Kathy Hilton will fill the vacancy left by Denise Richards and Teddi Mellencamp on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and producers are trying to keep ratings high by getting veteran Kyle Richards to recruit sister and former castmate Kim Richards and half sister Kathy -- Kathy is said to be high on producers’ wish list because of her wit and humor and is also considered old-school Beverly Hills and show brass want her to bring a certain glamour and sophistication to the show 

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- Demi Lovato at a NYC screening party (picture), when the ball drops on New Year’s Eve in Times Square Anderson Cooper won’t be there because he would rather be at home with his baby boy, The Bachelor has cut all ties with Colton Underwood after his ex Cassie Randolph got a temporary restraining order against him, Teresa Giudice plans to move to NYC after listing her New Jersey mansion but she still wants to keep her job on The Real Housewives of New Jersey and to get around that Teresa hopes to pretend she’s moved into her brother Joe Gorga’s home in Jersey 

Page 13: John Legend revealed couples therapy helps strengthen his marriage to Chrissy Teigen and said they keep their romance going strong by communicating and being considerate and listening, Jackie Stallone was more than just Sylvester Stallone’s mom -- she was also one of the world top astrologers and psychics who predicted the fall of the Berlin Wall and Kanye West’s presidential run 

Page 14: Crime -- convicted Melrose Place killer Amy Locane is in lockup again for a fatal 2010 drunk-driving smashup that took one life and nearly took another after a New Jersey Superior Court Judge said she got off too easy by serving two years behind bars and sentenced Amy to eight more years in state prison 

Page 15: The gruesome house of horrors where Drew Carey’s ex-fiancee Amie Harwick brutally met her untimely end is on the market for $1.5 million and her family can’t wait to get rid of it, Shannen Doherty is in pretty good spirits amid her ongoing battle with stage 4 breast cancer according to her former Beverly Hills 90210 co-star Jason Priestley

Page 16: Cover Story -- After decades of turning a blind eye to her husband’s cheating Queen Elizabeth’s 72-year marriage has shockingly collapsed and Prince Philip is now banished to a remote cottage far away from the monarch -- despite royal courtiers painting a rosy picture of the couple quarantining together at Windsor Castle since March the truth is their marriage has been a sham for decades and they’ve been living separate lives for over 50 years and all this forced togetherness was simply too much for them -- Philip has been cheating on Elizabeth since before they were married and has several love children; he has rumored to have had flings with actress Helene Cordet and Daphne du Maurier and Pat Kirkwood and Jane Russell and Merle Oberon and Zsa Zsa Gabor and Princess Alexandria and Sacha Duchess of Abercorn and most recently Lady Penny Romsey -- there will be no divorce and they will just quietly continue their separate lives to the end of their days but the queen never wants to see Philip again 

Page 18: Larry King’s estranged wife Shawn Southwick is demanding $33,000 a month in spousal support because she claims she gave up her music and TV career to marry the frail talk show host and then raise their sons Chance and Cannon, Hollywood Hookups -- Halle Berry and Van Hunt dating, 90 Day Fiance stars Ashley Martson and Jay Smith split for good, Justin Duggar dating Claire Spivey 

Page 19: Tom Cruise is set to shoot the first major movie in outer space and he’s headed to the International Space Station in October 2021 with director Doug Liman -- the two and possibly one additional actor will hitch a ride aboard Elon Musk’s SpaceX Crew Dragon capsule to film the unnamed project, the IV needle allegedly used to administer the fatal dose of propofol to Michael Jackson on June 25 of 2009 is up for auction by the estate of the late singer’s father Joe and the chilling item used by Michael’s physician Dr. Conrad Murray is reportedly still stained with Michael’s blood -- it was submitted to the auction by Michael’s cousin Marsha Stewart who says she took it from Michael’s bedroom days after he died, Sharon Stone has pressed her lips on a long list of Hollywood hunks but picked Robert De Niro as far and away the best kisser but rated her other leading men as kind of like meh 

Page 20: Stars Playing Stars -- how they did it -- Muhammad Ali and Will Smith, Frida Kahlo and Salma Hayek, Ray Charles and Jamie Foxx 

Page 21: Marilyn Monroe and Michelle Williams, Queen Elizabeth and Helen Mirren, Billie Holiday and Diana Ross, Bob Dylan and Cate Blanchett 

Page 22: An adopted son of Mia Farrow and Woody Allen has charged it was his mother not his father who was the monster in the family -- Moses Farrow says Woody did not molest adopted daughter Dylan Farrow in 1992 and that he can no longer stay silent as Woody continues to be condemned for a crime he did not commit 

Page 26: Less than nine months after Kobe Bryant and daughter Gianna died in a helicopter crash a vicious feud has ripped the family apart -- the row erupted between his widow Vanessa Bryant and her mother Sofia Laine after Sofia went on TV to publicly accuse her daughter of tossing her out of the family home -- Vanessa feels she’s already given her mom so much and then she heard through the grapevine that Sofia complained she should have more -- it does seem cold that Vanessa would take such action against her mother but she’s ready to take on anyone using her husband and child’s deaths as a selfish cash grab and that includes Sofia 

Page 27: Danny Masterson’s rape trial is looming and the Church of Scientology is doing everything in its power to back the scandal-scarred actor -- the church’s leaders have assigned their top lawyers to aid Danny who is a prominent member of the religion and the lawyers are scouring every law on the books to get the case thrown out or get him acquitted -- the church has previously been accused of trying to get the other side’s defenses dismissed or judges thrown off cases and using all manner of tactics to delay due process 

Page 28: American Life -- Bighearted ex-billionaire Chuck Feeney has spent 38 years giving away nearly all of his vast fortune and the generous do-gooder said he wouldn’t have had it any other way 

Page 29: Famed stoner Willie Nelson can’t stop sampling his own marijuana products and now friends fear the 87-year-old music legend is smoking himself to death -- Willie’s a believer in the powers of cannabis and promotes it passionately but years of smoking has done a number on his lungs and he can barely breathe at times, Julia Duffy has been keeping close a tragic heartache for more than a year -- her only son Danny Lacy committed suicide at age 29 after years of suffering from mental health issues 

Page 34: Comic Kathy Griffin has seen her popularity plummet in recent years and it’s played a role in her plans to sell her sprawling Bel Air estate -- Kathy has burned a lot of bridges and concerts and TV appearances have dried up because of her many industry conflicts so she’s trying to unload her massive manor with wine cellar and movie theater and eight bedrooms for $16 million -- she didn’t want to sell it but the cost and size have become too much for her to handle 

Page 36: Health Watch 

Page 38: CIA bigwigs once hired a psychic to determine if there was life on Mars -- the misguided mission was said to be part of Project Stargate which was launched in 1978 and somehow cost an astronomical $20 million after the CIA hired a man who claimed he could see the surface of the planet in his mind -- the unnamed man claimed he could see huge pyramids and an obelisk structure and road networks on the Red Planet as well as living creatures, John Lennon’s killer Mark David Chapman shocked the parole board when he admitted he deserved the death penalty even as he begged for his freedom at his last hearing -- his murderous motive was seeking self-glory -- the board denied his parole saying they found his statement infamy brings you glory disturbing 

Page 42: Red Carpet -- London Fashion Week 

Page 45: Spot the Differences -- Luke Bryan and his dog Choc 

Page 47: Odd List -- doctors remove granny’s football-sized tumor 

[sebastianshaw]

“You’re sure?” Shinobi asked yet again, “The potential power you could wield...I realize the goals of the Hellfire Club have changed somewhat, but Krakoa is still--” Harry Leland waved a chubby, thick-fingered hand from across the table, “It’s not about power, my boy. I shan’t lie and say I no longer desire it--I am no such ascetic saint---but it is a desire I have realized I must abstain from. I realize that is a foreign concept for men such as us, but I’m quite doing my best, for my own good. I do appreciate the offer, though, it’s very kind of you.” “Well,” said Shinobi, cautiously, not sure about admitting what he said next, “You were always very kind to me.” It wasn’t that he thought that Harry---his “Uncle Leland” as he had called him growing up--was going to taunt him for this. It was just that revealing any kind of vulnerability, even something most people wouldn’t count as such, bothered him. Any sign of weakness always made him tense, a physical anticipation his father was about to beat him for it. Not like Uncle Leland. Uncle Leland had always smiled at him when he saw him, called him “dear boy”, always had some kind of old-fashioned candy for him and, if he was expecting him, some kind of small but expensive gift. Nothing a young boy would actually like, Harry didn’t have children and he didn’t know a thing about them, but it was the only affection Shinobi had ever received from an adult man. The fact Harry was in proximity to his father, that he was someone his father liked and presumably approved of, made it even better. If someone his father approved of approved of Shinobi in turn, it was ALMOST like getting a bit of his father’s approval, in his childish logic back then.

It couldn’t be said that Harry ever was close with Shinobi or took on any kind of fatherly role, they didn’t see each other often enough for that, he’d never even hugged him (which, Shinobi understood as an adult, a grown single man hugging a friend’s young son would be considered weird, but as a kid who didn’t understand the implications, he’d wished he would once or twice) and Shinobi had been hurt later on when he’d realized that Harry called EVERYONE “dear boy”, he had called WOLVERINE that for crying out loud, and here Shinobi had thought it was his special nickname---but still. Still. It was the most he’d ever gotten from any adult that was not his mother, and he’d treasured it deeply, even concocting a fantasy that Harry Leland was his biological father. A fantasy he still thought possible---his poor mother had been Sebastian’s toy, he wouldn’t put it past the old bastard to pass her around to his buddies like some party favor at the Hellfire Club. Though as long as Shinobi was going to dream up things that could never be, he’d like to imagine something tenderer, something that fit his image of Uncle Leland and didn’t involve his mother being further degraded to support her son. Like Uncle Leland marrying his mother and them all moving far away somewhere and being happy. Childish tripe. But then, he’d been a child. He wasn’t anymore. And he had duly left such candy floss fantasies behind. But he still wanted, in the sole tiny pocket of generosity that existed in his selfish soul, wanted to give something back to Harry Leland. The best thing he could think of was promising him the seat of Black Bishop once he had moved up from it. “I don’t understand,” he said, trying to process what Harry had said, “Is it because it’s not my father making the offer, you don’t think it’s guaranteed without his approval? Because once I take power as the Red---” “Dear boy,” said Harry patiently, “You indeed do not understand. But that is, in itself, understandable. You have the confidence of youth, despite your trials beyond your age, and you have your father leading you every step of the way on top of that. What I told you just now must seem incomprehensible, but it’s the truth. Seeking power may work for some. In the end, all it got me was an early---and oft-disturbed---grave. Krakoa is a place of new beginnings. All I want to do is regain enough of my former finances---the paperwork for that is a mess, they really MUST learn to make allowances for mutants, as we have demonstrated we are BOUND to come back from the dead--to live comfortably as I am accustomed to, and then stay away from these political games for the rest of my natural life, and whatever unnatural ones I might yet again wind up in.” Shinobi just...looked at him. He got the words alright, but, as Harry himself said, he couldn’t understand. “You don’t have to be scared of dying again,” he finally said, “You know that. It’s not permanent anymore.” “It was never permanent in the first place, dear boy, I was dragged back to life TWICE before this, once with you if you recall, though certainly neither time was as...pleasant, as this.” “So what’s the problem then?” Shinobi’s voice came out shriller, more emotional than he had intended. Indeed, more than he expected. He hadn’t realized how much he had WANTED Harry to say yes. He had thought he was just being nice, and perhaps making a smart decision---Leland had always been one of the very few members of the Hellfire Club with a sense of LOYALTY, something neither Shinobi nor his father could boast. Having him with them would be an advantage, one they didn’t have to worry about turning on them. He’d...he’d thought he’d just been thinking practically. But now his own reactions showed him it had been more than that. Yet again, he hated himself for displaying this, this weakness, this need, this vulnerability. But he’d wanted this. He’d had this idea of himself and his father and Harry Leland ruling all together, his father approving him and his “uncle” being there and it just...it just being everything he’d wanted. And now Harry Leland was turning him down, taking it away. Shinobi felt...betrayed. Of all the people he’d thought would ever hurt him, Harry Leland and his mother had been the only two not on the list. That made this sting far harder than it would from almost anyone else. In Shinobi’s mind, it wasn’t the offer that Uncle Leland was pushing away---it was Shinobi himself. Rejected by his father so much, so often, so brutally, so completely, had made Shinobi oversensitive as an adult to any kind of rejection, taking it deeply personally, like a wound, a wound that made him wild with tearful rage like some hurt animal---as Storm and Archangel could attest, as they had also turned down his offers of Hellfire Club royalty and suffered the violent reactions that resulted. Something that would have been a mere tantrum in a normal man---sad and strange, but not threatening---was potentially fatal with someone who had Shinobi’s powers, and his lack of care for other people. Again, something Storm and Archangel could confirm, though neither had been impressed either. What was it Storm had said? A little boy who needs to bully or buy people into liking him? And he couldn’t do either with Uncle Leland. He didn’t think he’d have to. Across the table, Harry watched Shinobi, a sympathetic expression on his bearded face. He was no psychic or psychologist, and he really didn’t even know Shinobi all that well, but he could tell this had meant a lot to the boy. For whatever reason, probably paternally-related ones, Sebastian’s son had latched on to him at an early age like a little limpid-eyed limpet, and Harry, as soft a touch as a man could be in the world of Hellfire, had allowed it. Indulged it, even. He was an indulgent man. He’d felt sorry for the scrawny little boy scurrying about the legs of old men in business suits in a place that was surely both boring to a child, and somewhere that one should never be brought. And though he’d never witnessed physical abuse, he had always felt, from what interactions he’d seen, that Sebastian was too hard on the boy, too sharp with his directions and reprimands. But then, it hadn’t been Harry’s business, and he knew nothing about the raising of children anyway. Still, he’d been fond of the little urchin, for all that he saw him sparingly. He had no idea the pedestal than Shinobi had put him on. He just knew that the young man’s face now greatly resembled that of a stray dog that had been kicked. It would not be fair to call Harry Leland a kind man. He knew this. He had murdered before for personal gain, and he had been prepared to let worse things happen in the pursuit of power, and he regretted neither, at least not for moral reasons, only in that it had not worked out to his benefit at the end. But he also was also not unkind. When he had killed those in his way, or had them killed, when he had briefly had the upper hand against the X-Men, all those times he had never taken pleasure in it nor drawn it out, never even taunted his opponent or victim. He was cordial at all times, affable even. He did what he had to to advance himself, but he would not cause any additional distress in the process. And he had, again, always been fond of the boy. He’d never seemed cut out for Hellfire to Harry, of course, but then, neither did Harry himself. Perhaps that was why Harry liked him. And he didn’t want to see him cry, which it looked like he was about to do. Actually, Shinobi was trying to figure out WHAT he could do besides cry, because the only other option was a violent, uncontrolled outburst, and he was trying to behave with more...decorum...these days...especially since his father seemed to have lost a lot of his...but he didn’t know what to do when hurt except lash out the way he had never been able to as a helpless child. He didn’t know how to recruit people---just drive them away. Like Warren, and Betsy, and Ororo, and now worst of all, Unc--- “Shinobi? Lad?” Uncle Leland’s tone was...gentle. Shinobi suddenly felt a hot stab of anger at the idea the old man might be pitying him. It was the one thing he couldn’t bear, it was even worse than rejection, and he was snapped out of his confusion by this, ready to rip the old man’s heart out because what did it matter, it wouldn’t be for keeps, it would-- “Walk with me, will you?” Harry Leland had stood up, and was offering a hand to Shinobi. To his own surprise, Shinobi took it.

[efrmellifer]

illegitimacy

He had been very close to his appointment from the curia and the nuncio when it happened. Well, when it started. When he met her.

Adrielle.

She was in the choir, a soprano with a voice so clear and strong it may have gone directly to the Fury’s ears. She was beautiful as anything, too, with long dark hair and striking eyes.

Maybe it was her talent that had attracted the clergyman to her, or her beauty, or perhaps the two combined. Her passion and the kindness of her heart had been the final nails in the coffin, and no matter how many prayers he sent heavensward, halfhearted though they became later on, there was no change.

He was in love, it seemed.

He started coming from his room to listen to the choir practice, waiting for Adrielle’s solos, letting his head sway along to the music. He watched her as she gathered her things, helped her into her cloak on the days inclement weather struck, and soon enough, it seemed that Adrielle was as fond of him as he was of her.

When the big day came, he invited her to the celebration of his appointment. Just her.

That night, however, a few others had come to congratulate him, now Archbishop Thordan VII. What a title! What a man to bear it!

When they left, the true celebration began.

There was drink, but not so much he had any excuse for what he did to the choir’s premier soloist.

It was less the act itself and more the flouting of vows he had reaffirmed that very day, broken on a bed too small for the two of them.

The clergy had no need for a bed fitting more than one.

Poverty meant clergy couldn’t afford a family. Chastity was self-explanatory. Obedience meant he should have known better.

One had to wonder what other concupiscence lay dormant in a man so willing to break vows within hours of making them. What treachery, what deception might he be capable of, given the power to commit such acts?

It remained to be seen whether this was one mistake, one premeditated descent into fleshly passions and selfish pursuit of a forsworn satisfaction.

Afterwards, he was every bit the gentleman he could have been if this situation were in any way appropriate, his fingers gliding through Adrielle’s satiny hair, his afterglow-affected whispers and planned-out promises of a blessedly secret affair—though one perhaps less physical than this night—spinning sweet ideas in Adrielle’s mind.

One slip-up, it was all it was. One answer to one question. Fidelity to his role could reign true in the Archbishop’s conduct.  It need only be a memory, sweet and foggy.

That is, if he hadn’t spun more than ideas into Adrielle.

It was too clear for her to need to confess by the time she had the courage to. She was losing her breath in the middle of songs, heart constantly pounding, and belly swelling faster than she could try to hide it.

It had been a harvest of plenty, to be sure, but this was not the fattening of a prosperous young lady.

She arrived at the doors of the Vault late at night, begging to speak with the Archbishop.

She was let in reluctantly, and fell at his feet sobbing, tears falling onto the ends of her hair where it pooled on the ground as she wailed.

She couldn’t be angry at the results of actions she had agreed to, but she raged regardless, careful not to lay her blame on him specifically, in case the walls had ears. She ranted and raved about how it hurt, she was ballooning without her say-so, she wasn’t prepared, she would never be able to handle this.

Finally, deflated, she looked up at him. “Archbishop… what do I do?”

He had no advice, nor even a compassionate word, for Adrielle.

He didn’t even say he was sorry.

_

So Adrielle descended into her shame alone as her condition progressed.

The night she gave birth, that fated night in the month of Llymlaen, she called for the Archbishop. Those who had agreed to help her thought she meant to confess, meant to beg forgiveness for her transgressions. She still hadn't named the father, after all.

If only they knew.

She birthed the baby, a surprisingly healthy boy, without ever having been visited by his father. By the time they had shown her the sleeping bundle, with his head of dark hair just like hers, she had already stopped crying, her gaze dimming.

When she could walk, she went out, taking the newborn with her, and begged to be let in to the Vault again.

She claimed she wanted a blessing for her bastard son, that he might rise above the station he was about to be put in.

When she came before the Archbishop, she was cradling their child, her eyes all the more striking as she glared at him.

“Do you want to see him?”

“Oh. A boy, is it?”

Her jaw clenched. “Do you want to name him? Will he be a Greystone? Am I to raise him?”

“Leave him with me, if you wish.”

Adrielle did just that. The next time mass was conducted, the choir was missing its prime soloist, its strongest voice. She was never seen again.

The baby, still unnamed, was taken to an orphanage with little fanfare.

Perhaps the blessing his mother had pleaded under the pretense of had worked, however, because he was adopted right away, by a couple who had struggled to conceive for long enough they gave up.

No longer was he unnamed. He was their sole son, the treasure of his house.

_

The blessing continued throughout his life, it seemed. He never had a painless time, easy to spot as someone’s illegitimate child, and equally easy to compare to the Archbishop. Despite this, he found success as a knight, found companions and leadership abilities for his brothers in arms and the whole nation.

What he never found was how to have the man who made him look at him and see anything other than evidence of his mistake.

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 22

LISTEN TO ME — 0022

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 2.2K

"Can we talk?" — Chaerin asked after a few moments of silence, waking Jisung from his trance state.

"We have nothing to talk about," — he was harsh and, as much as he wanted to close the door on the girl's face, it was as if an invisible force was still neutralizing all his actions. His mind didn't want to hear him; his heart, however, acted in an opposite way and gradually accelerated the beats.

"I know you don't wanna hear me, but give me only five minutes," — Chaerin pleaded. — "Please."

Jisung wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, curse his ex-fiancée of the worst possible names, cry until his throat was dry, because all the little bricks he had tried to pry in the last few weeks were crumbling to the floor. It was as if he had gone back to zero again, the pain was the same.

"What do you want to talk?!" — he cried, opening the door. — "You came to laugh at me and invite me to your wedding with Seungmin?!"

"Jisung-..."

"I hate you!" — the rational part of Jisung shouted for him to control himself and not explode as he was doing, expressing how weak he was, but his impulses were so strong that he couldn't disobey them. — "Did you have to end things like that?! I deserved a fucking explanation!"

The girl closed her eyes and lowered her head. It was evident how embarrassed she was. She couldn't think of what to say, since she was the only one wrong in the story and what she had done had no right of forgiveness. Her biggest desire was to be able to go back in time and rewrite the plot in a different way, starting with not getting into Jisung's life, who had every reason to say that he hated her. Chaerin would hate herself too if she were in his place.

"I drank too much that day," — she murmured, not brave enough to look at him properly. — "The alcohol was still acting and didn't let me think straight, it was all so fast... I'm so sorry, Jisung."

"No, you're not sorry, you selfish! And to think I've been worried all day thinking that something bad has happened, and you drinking with that-..." — he interrupted himself, tending to calm down again. Dropping his temper on Seungmin and lamenting his frustrations for Chaerin would only make him feel more pathetic, so he turned away and turned his back on his ex-fiancée. — "You've made your choice, now get out of my house."

Chaerin sighed. Somehow, she already knew she wouldn't have the opportunity to speak even a third of what she should, but it wasn't as if she were in a position to refute.

"I just hope you can forgive me someday," — she said regretfully, and took one last look at Jisung's back before heading toward the exit. However, as she was passing the electronic gate, she heard Han's voice call her name and turned to face him.

"I even wanted to, but the truth is I don't hate you," — Jisung began. — "And hurt is one of the worst feelings of all, because it destroys the person gradually, and I won't self-destruct for someone like you. So, yes, I forgive you" — he watched the other's eyes widened. — "But I don't want to think that you exist or have ever existed in my life. Just be happy and also forget me, it's the last favor I ask of you."

Chaerin nodded, feeling the weight on her shoulders lighter. She had always admired Jisung, but, at that moment, she could say with a hundred percent certainty that he was one of the most incredible people she had ever had the pleasure of meeting. In addition, she also hoped that he'd find in another person the true happiness that she wasn't able to provide him, she just didn't know that this same person was much closer than she could imagine.

♡˖°

Jisung closed the door and collapsed.

His body slid through the cold wood and reached the ground; soon, his arms wrapped around his knees and he began to cry. The sobs filled the whole house, which never seemed so big as that morning. He felt alone, lost, exhausted. He wanted something he could hold onto, but his hands were tired of always clinging to nothingness.

Jisung, more than ever, needed someone. He even thought about going back to the house Hyunjin and Yoorim shared and continue to cry, but he felt that he had already bothered them too much and didn't want to become a burden, even though the couple would never have imagined anything like it. He also thought about looking for Woojin, but Kim wasn't the best person in the world when it came to comforting someone, because he ended up laughing nervously and letting out a "you're fucked, man", in the end. Besides, all this hesitation about the three was due to the fact that both Hyunjin, Yoorim, and Woojin were all about second, third, and fourth choices, for the true voice that Jisung wanted to hear — the one that calmed him like chamomile tea — was another.

It was unfair to wet Jinah's shoulder — who, if Hyunjin's assumptions were right, was nourishing a crush for him — with the tears coming from the cursed unrequited love he felt for Chaerin. Jisung figured that would be a bit uncomfortable for her, but, instead, Choi had never shown any unwillingness to hear him talk about it, on the contrary. There was also the fact that the two became friends above all else; so, maybe it wouldn't be so much trouble for Jisung to pick up his phone and click on her contact.

It was enough to call three times until Jinah's soft voice touched his ears as if she were caressing: — "Do you miss me already?"

Jisung almost smiled, but a choking sob was quicker to escape his lips, which made Choi worried.

"What happened? Why are you crying?" — she asked in an agonized way.

"Can you come here, in my house?" — Jisung answered with another question, his voice like a faint line. — "Just a little?"

"I'm on my way." —, the boy could hear the sound of keys on the other side of the phone. — "Calm down, please."

Thanking in a murmur, the boy hung up his phone and struggled to wipe his wet face without letting any more tears fall and nullify his attempt. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and waited, trying not to think of anything that would bring his crying back, but he could be sure that his eyes were red. He was only getting up when he heard the bell, that after about ten minutes in absolute silence except for the sound of his breath.

As soon as she stared at Jisung, Jinah could almost feel his pain. She parted her lips to ask what had happened the second time, but it was clear that Han needed more of a hug than of inquiries, so she didn't wait another second to put her arms around him.

Jisung felt the scent of peach and pear Jinah had and rested his forehead against her shoulder. The tears now came out silently, calmer and near the end. Choi's affection on his back relaxed his muscles and made him feel lighter, as if the burden of feeling was no longer so heavy and impossible to carry.

"I'm worried," — the girl whispered after a few minutes in that same position, and Jisung, being calmer just by being close to the presence of others, lifted his face and pulled her to sit on the couch.

"Chaerin was here just now."

"How was it?" — after the conversation she had with Kwon, Jinah didn't believe she had disturbed Jisung just to say something she shouldn't. She was supposing that all that crying was the result of another relapse, not for some foolishness the girl might have said.

"She tried to explain herself, but I didn't want to hear" — Jisung shrugged, not caring about the order of the parcels, given that the product was the same. — "Then she sort of apologized and I forgave."

"Really?" — Jinah smiled slightly. — "That was very nice of you."

"I didn't want to be holding a grudge against a grudge. May she be happy; wish for bad things now won't harm anyone but myself."

"I think I'm going to explode with pride" — Jinah's smile widened. — "Does that mean you're willing to leave the past in the past?"

"I never said I wasn't" — Jinah's smile ended up making Jisung smile too, though in a more timid manner. — "But it still hurts a lot, I can't guarantee it'll be that easy."

"You'll get it, but first you have to cheer up. Does a chocolate cake fix things for now?"

"I don't feel like leaving the house now."

"And who said you're going to need to leave?" — Jinah raised an eyebrow. — "If the ingredients are in the kitchen, I make a better cake than a french chef."

"After you said that you weren't afraid of horror movies, I don't believe in anything else that comes out of your mouth."

It was one thing to make her watch those scenes that looked more like real manifestations of Satan himself, another thing was to doubt her culinary talents.

"You're offending me" — Jinah looked at Jisung as if she wanted to kill him. — "Talk about me, but don't talk about the chocolate cake my mom taught me to do."

That's why Han liked Choi's company. Seeing her nervous, for example, awakened in him an absurd will to squeeze her. She was so cute it hurt. His problems seemed to lose importance. Suddenly, the little bricks he thought he had knocked over were erected again. After all, being close to Jinah, Jisung didn't feel as lonely as before.

"It's the last time I let you prove anything," — he said as he stood up and started walking toward the kitchen. — "Come, let's make this cake together."

♡˖°

"I warned you," — Jinah sneered when Jisung praised her cake for the second time. The boy had helped, but almost seventy percent of the preparation was Choi's work, who, by the way, was really good at cooking. — "This is for you to learn not to underestimate me."

"I already apologized" — Jisung set his plate aside, satisfied. While they were talking, more than half of the cake had been consumed. The good thing about all this was that Han no longer remembered the episode earlier. Jinah had managed to distract him and make him think of good things again. — "Do you want me to apologize on my knees?"

"That would be fine" — Choi checked the hours on her phone and got to her feet —, "but I have to go. Today is my day to clean the apartment."

"On sunday?"

"Since when do you have a right day to be a slave?"

Jisung laughed: — "Drama Queen."

Though he didn't want her to leave, Han accompanied the girl to the door and stuffed his hands into his pockets as they looked at each other at the farewell hour.

"Thanks for coming here and cheering me up, JinJin" — he moistened his lips in an involuntary act that didn't go unnoticed by the girl. — "I feel much better now."

Jinah watched the boy's face carefully, lingering on the chubby cheeks, eyes that were no longer red, and in his mouth. Again that damn urge to kiss him. Jinah would go into a malfunction if she continued like this.

"I feel even better to know that," — she averted her gaze, not making it too clear how silly she was near the inexplicable beauty Han carried. — "If you need company again, just call me. You know you can do this anytime."

"I know" — and Jisung began to observe the details of others as well. Again.

They were surrounded by a synchrony that had never been so strongly present as it was then. Proximity also counted as a factor, since only two steps separated their bodies. The good and old chemistry was finally taking shape.

"Um..." — Jisung tried to say something that would break that tension, but, before he could utter some messy sentence, Jinah, who could no longer control her own impulses, put both hands on the boy's face and connected their lips suddenly.

Choi finally noticed a few seconds later. The texture of Han's lips was soft and wet, just as she had imagined; but, as much as he wanted to feel it for the rest of the afternoon, the voice of her conscience gave a sharp cry inside her head and made her wake up to reality. Jinah's eyes widened and she moved quickly away, finding the same frightened expression on the other's face.

"My God, I'm sorry!" — she covered her mouth with her hands, blushing like a pepper. — "It wasn't intentional — it was — I was out of my mind!"

Jisung was in a trance for the second time that day. He had also flushed, but his frozen mind couldn't handle the event at its usual speed, so he couldn't even call Jinah when she, utterly embarrassed, rushed out of sight.

There were many emotions for a single sunday.

[sarcastically-defensive17]

Times Like These - LRH. Chapter 1 - 2 months, 7 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes

It had been exactly 2 months, 7 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes since he had moved in.

It's not that she would want to see him out on the streets, or mooching off of their kind grandmother anymore than he had. She knew the spare room in her fathers' house was the best place for him.

It's not even that she didn't like being around him. It was that she hated his smug, self-centered attitude, and the blatant narcissism that rolled off of his tongue with every syllable drawn from his viper mouth.

In short, she hated her cousin.

He was two years her junior and acted as if he was the be all and end all of the universe. Now, Audrey would never admit it, but she could be rather selfish. In specific circumstances, she could be arrogant, but unlike her frustrating cousin, she has the capabilities of acknowledging the feelings of others.

Despite what her father says.

Jason Bernard Clifford, often called J.B by family and his overly obnoxious 'popular' friends, was the very bane of her existence.

She had just settled Alexis. Just as the little girls' brown eyes closed, obnoxious music blared through the upper story of the house.

The 10 month old jolted awake and adopted a deep frown on her face as she jutted her bottom lip out.

Audrey released a growl from her throat, pulling the babe into her hip and shushing her. It took almost 15 minutes to get her back to the point before sleep, and when they reached it, she was out of the room.

She stomped towards his bedroom, the same room that used to belong to her brother, and threw the door open only to be met with the strong stench of marijuana and the unmistakable toxic fog of teenage boy.

"Jason, for the love of god-"

"What the fuck do you want now?" He snapped, not even looking up from his video game at the presence of his cousin.

There was a pale yellow bong resting on the floor next to his leg, and garbage and clothes strewn over the entirety of the room.

She sighed through her nose, closing her eyes for a minute as she restrained her mind from delving into the idea of giving the boy a concussion.

"How many times do I need to remind you that there are other people that live in this house? I'm convinced that you enjoy watching Lexi stay awake all night because of your shitty mumble rap!" The same event had happened 3 times this week. It was only Thursday.

"Whatever," he still didn't bring his eyes from the screen.

She huffed, stepping in his vision and blocking the television, "You are unbelievable."

The thing about J.B, was that he could go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds when it came to his elder cousin.

They hadn't gotten along since they were little. In fact, he hadn't gotten along with many family members, the exception being his doting uncle Daryl.

"I'm unbelievable?"

"Yes, that's what I said, dumbass."

"Oh, you're such a little princess. Maybe if you pulled the stick out of your ass you could loosen up," he snapped, a sadistic laugh falling from his lips at the end.

"What the hell did you just say to me?" She growled, her eyes flaming with anger.

She had simply gone to his room to remind him that there are other people present in the house as well and to ask him to turn down his incessant noise. It was a very real possibility that the interaction would result in an argument, but to be honest, she was fine with that.

The boy irked her to no extent. He was 17 but acted as if he owned the house and could make the rules, and to her, it seemed like that was the reality.

Jason could do no wrong in her fathers' eyes, and it had been like that since Michael left and her parents marriage fell apart.

Her mother, the lovely Karen, was on a pilgrimage of Europe with her sister. A trip that Audrey rejected going on, for the sake of her university degree and her daughter. As such, the youngest Clifford child moved in with her father, despite her being old enough to live on her own.

University was economically draining, as well as emotionally. The only escape Audrey had was the casual job she had at the local tattoo parlor.

And even the money she made there wasn't enough to pay rent, travel, food for the two and babysitting.

"I said, you should try pulling the stick out of your ass, you uptight little-"

"Do you two ever stop fighting?" they both turned their heads to be met with the sight of the blond man she called her father.

Immediately she felt her eyes roll back into her skull, knowing that the argument will be brushed off and she will soon take her place cleaning the war zone in the kitchen.

"Sorry Uncle Daryl," Jason murmured, shoving his hands into the pockets of his grey sweats and adopting an innocent look. "I asked Audrey to clean the mess she made in the kitchen and she just blew up at me!"

"What? It wasn't my mess!" She screeched, raising her arms in the air when her father nodded at the boys words. Typical of Jason to change the topic. And her father would always believe it as well.

"I honestly think it may be that time of the month again," He whispered to his uncle, following it closely with a deep cringe.

Her father opened his mouth to answer the boy, a sympathetic look directed at him, but was cut off by the sound of Audrey grunting and stomping out of the room.

"I'm sorry about her, Jason. You know how ladies get at that time," she could basically hear the cringe on her fathers face as the words sounded through the thin walls.

She slammed her bedroom door behind her, and the sound of her 'Piss off, Jason' sign hitting the ground tore another growl from her throat.

Times like these, she wished for nothing more than her brother to talk to, or her mother to come back to Australia so she could move in with her. Instead, she was stuck in her old family home, with a man she thought too immature to be any sort of parental figure, and a teenage delinquent whose only purpose in life was to make hers and her daughters hell.

Audrey had more important things to focus on rather than the two impossible males she lived with.

She had first-year University work piling up, bags under her pale green eyes and an influx of shifts coming up in the next two weeks and a teething baby who was going through a hair pulling phase.

Unsurprisingly, she longed for the days when the only worry she had was kicking Michael's ass in Guitar Hero.

After a few hours of stewing in her bedroom, she had a shower to alleviate some stress. She decided her monthly self-care routine would be the best way to unwind in preparation for a long day of work as Lexi was sleeping peacefully in her crib.

Her mother had sent her a two tubs of a blueberry extract hair mask from France with her last postcard, and Audrey adored the substance. She had already planned to make a trip to the country in the future simply to get more of the product.

She was so exhausted by the time she was layering it on her blonde hair that she didn't pay particular attention to the overly blue colour of the product, nor did she make sure to keep her eyes open for the ten minutes it was meant to stay in her hair.

45 minutes later, she woke up and upon realizing she forgot to rinse her hair, went to do so; only to emerge with patches of blue dye coating her naturally blonde locks.

The entire house, and the neighbours surrounding it, were woken abruptly at 11:30PM by the sound of Audrey Clifford screeching her cousin's name at the top of her lungs and the aggressive grunts from Alexis as she woke with a start.

[justreadingfics]

Can I just say first and foremost I love your story thus far I binged read it last night and it has been on my mind all day today. This might be a little long and chaotic so I apologize in advance. The protagonist can I say I love how she is evolving! I especially liked it when she specified that while yes this baby is her and bucky’s, this pregnancy is hers and hers alone. I almost threw my phone at my wall in joy at that statement. Like yasss sis come into your own. 1/7

I almost want her to be on some fuck men ( yes including Bucky) and fuck relationships type of time. I just want her to be be a bad bitch and just raise her baby and fucking prosper in life. I think another thing that I love about the protagonist is her acknowledgement of her toxicity and the results of it. Some authors like to paint there leads as blameless but? in these type of stories and situations that is just not realistic nor human. 2/7

Now onto my mans Bucky. Whew I ain’t gone lie when it came to some of Bucky’s scenes I had to calmly put my phone down and do some calm breathing. I don’t think I’ve ever had a character make me so mad. And it’s not the fact of him wanting to move on, that is well within his right. But the act of him having his cake and eating it too is not. He doesn’t get to say he needs space and then in the same breath send Steve to investigate. I’m not going to lie and I guess this is toxic of me but 3/7

Seeing Bucky, pining after Harry comes in made me tingle all over. And when he said “did she feel like this” when he thought about how he flaunted Anna in her face really did it for me. Like yes she did feel like this and it don’t feel to good huh baby boy? Like yes I get it, she hurt him almost beyond repair and she gets that. But that doesn’t mean he gets to turn around and do the same. Otherwise he is really no better. 4/7

Now onto Ms. perfect aka Anna. I guess you can already tell that I do not like her and it’s not because she is currently with Bucky while reader isn’t. I work in healthcare, I work in psych and general med/surg. Regardless of what type of health professional you are whether you’re a doctor, nurse, therapist, social worker. The first thing you learn is you never ever get into a relationship with someone you are caring for professionally. 5/7 

 Especially someone who you are counseling. There is power dynamic that is not equal when one is professionally caring for someone. These people who are seeking treatment are in a vulnerable state. To act and feel outside those professional boundaries that are in place is an abuse of power plain and simple. So yes while Anna may be the nicest person on the planet, her ethics are reprehensible. she might not be doing it on purpose but trust and believe she is manipulating Bucky. 6/7 

 As a healthcare provider she knows better. Which is why I have a very hard time feeling sorry for her. All the heartache she now faces or may face in the near future is all her own doing. Which is why they tell you ethics to not cross professional boundaries! I’m also worried about the look of fear on her face. Fear breads desperation. So what is about to do?But all in all I fucking love this story and can’t wait to see where you go with it! 7/7Seriously. SERIOUSLY! I don’t deserve you guys. I don’t deserve you, nonnie. I wish I could give you a hug. 

I’m so happy you mention the “the pregnancy is mine” thing. I know it may seem  selfish and inconsiderate towards men, but that’s how I feel about it and it shows on my Reader character’s way of thinking. If she wants a drama free pregnancy, she is entitled of that.

Also, yes, she fucked up and she knows it. Just like Bucky is making some mistakes now. I like the idea of imperfect people, but I also love the idea of you owning your mistakes and being able to learn from  them and move on. We do some shit, we face consequences and it’s ok. 

I loved you brought up this: Fear breads desperation  ;)

I loved every word you said and I love you.  

[honestsycrets]

Irreplaceable PXVI: My Mother’s Choice

See my masterlist for the rest of the series.

A/N: An update to Irreplaceable! Gif Credit to IvarAddict

Uxi nurses a fat welt on his cheek and blood that spills down his cracked nose. Blood down his lip as he sat on a rock brooding with Veifnr at his side. He had been in another fight and Kitta had yet become aware to it. Once his second mother was, he was sure that she would come lecture him about picking fights if he could not end them. He had to train… for you, for his mother. The public may have put on a good face when you were around, but he knew what they really thought about you. They were a bunch of fucking rats.

“Fuck, look at her ass!”

That fight resulted in a punch to the cheek.

“Your mother gave birth to a monster HAHAHA!”

That fight resulted in a punch to his stomach.

“Your father can do whatever he wants to her.”

That fight resulted in the swelling under his eye, purple and hot.

“She’s just there to brew babies, you know.”

And that fight? It resulted in his broken nose.

His mother wasn’t a womb. Rape was unacceptable here. So why was it acceptable if women married? He spat off to the side, meddled with blood and clear fluid while Veifnr walks back and forth in front of him. He was mute. He wouldn’t speak to him but in his eyes, he knew that he was asking: Are you okay?

But he wasn’t. He really wasn’t. He felt hopeless like a pathetic son. He heard his mother in physical anguish the past year— and overheard his other mother Kitta and mother speaking. Father had forced himself on his beautiful mother. He was old enough to know what it meant. He forced her to have another baby. It sickened him.

But overwhelmingly? He was just angry. So blindingly angry that he didn’t know what to do with it. His mother was in pain– and he could do nothing for her. What kind of man would he grow to be if he couldn’t take care of his own mother!

Now he hadn’t seen her in a week. He knew she was okay but he heard her sobbing… and his brother shrilling so loud that it buckled the Great Hall. No one was drinking in there lately. He strolls back to his home when he hears it— and sees it. Veifnr and he sneak behind the dividing wall of their mother’s room where father and mother were. He clutches his little brother close against his bloody brown tunic.

“He can’t breathe. He can’t sleep. He can’t even eat without you holding him upright!” His mother is sobbing again, the tails of her skirts drifting side to side. She was walking like she did when she was scared or didn’t want to talk to him. He saw his father’s legs dangling in a chair as he bent low as to not be detected.

“But I love him.” She sobs. “I can’t… I can’t.”

“He will die painfully. He will smother to death.” His father says. “We have to do it.”

“Your mother wouldn’t let Ragnar kill you. Now you want me to do the same?” Mother supplies, finding that Ivar is momentarily silent. Uxi realizes what father means quickly. The village people set babies out for the animals, chopped off their heads or dealt with them in other ways. His father wanted to do the same to his innocent little brother.

“I was different. I could eat. I could breathe.” His father’s voice is a hush whisper and his poor mother— she’s exhausted. He can hear it the way she sobs harder, now stopping in front of Ivar as she takes a weak and wavering breath.

“But… I don’t want to let him go. He’s my son.” She sobs and little Uxi; so enraged by his mother’s sobs bursts into the room. Veifnr doddles after him, the young little thing watching silently as Uxi’s leather boots storm over to where Ivar and you spoke.

“Leave her alone!”

You whip around to find your son shoving himself in with Veifnr by his side. Your arms were full with the nameless boy. Swaying to sit upright, Ivar’s eyes catches Uxi’s own electric eyes. They dance with rage like Thor’s beating hammer as he stands in front of you, hands outstretching to push you back behind him. Almost as if he thought he needs to protect you from his father.

“My love… I’m okay.” You try to curve him but your stubborn son won’t have it. He won’t have any of this bullying talk. How you raised a son so independent amazes you. When he loves, he loves with a love that is so hard.

“You’re nothing but a coward!” Uxi bursts out. “Leave my brother alone!”

You could have curled in on yourself. As you look to Ivar’s hooded blue eyes, you realize that Ivar is bewildered. Uxi has never done this before. Usually he is quiet, faithfully believing in his father. Your heart falls in your stomach when Ivar stands up with crutch in hand. He hobbles over to his eldest; chubby cheeked but otherwise slender. He leans in while you held Veifnr’s hand fearfully. Would he hit Uxi?

“Come see.” Ivar says, motioning for you to kneel. You slip onto the ground in your creamy gown, arms full of your newest son. You unpeel the warm furs away from the little boy, whose legs are bowed and worthless to see. His chest rises and drops harshly as if he is having trouble breathing— even when he is quiet now, he will scream from the pain shooting down his legs later. Uxi looks over his gentle face, sleeping in his mother’s arms despite the yelling between Ivar and you. He must have been exhausted.

“Your brother can’t breathe Uxi. He is in pain.” Ivar sighs. As you heard, Ivar was in pain too before a man called Harbard came to Kattegat. You wish he would come for your son. You would do anything for someone to alleviate his pain. Even if it meant selling yourself out to another man at this point.

“But…” Uxi looks over his chest. His father was right… but to know that his mother was so distressed? It broke his heart. “Mother should choose since you gave her no choice!”

As if the decision wasn’t hard enough already without Uxi looking at his father in a new light. Not the marvel, but the hate. At only eight years of age, too. You stand up, pushing the baby’s dark hair from his forehead. You knew it was selfish; but you couldn’t let him go.

“What should we call him?” You look to your husband. As the father, he had rights to name all the children just as he had Uxi. But when you give him his son, Ivar looks nothing short of lost. He had yet to give this boy a name or his rights as a Ivarsson. He had to do so soon. The people of Kattegat were beginning to speak as to why Ivar wouldn’t claim this son as his. After all, cripple legs made it hard to deny that the boy was his. He can’t bear name a son that he cursed.

“Uxi. You name him.” Ivar looks to Uxi. The older of the brothers, he had protected his brother from Ivar’s mercy kill. Me? Uxi looks to you. You nod, kneeling beside Ivar and leaning over his lap to look at the little boy.

“Avaldr.” He says. A name that he knew meant both awe, terror and mighty one. It’s a strong name and in a way, that is what this little boy needs. Something to set him apart. You smile to your oldest and most bullheaded son, extending your hands out to embrace him.

That starts to sound like a very handsome name to you.

Sometimes– things happen that you aren’t prepared for: like the arrival of this strange, wild looking old man.

“This is my wife, (Y/N).” Your husband’s hand is about your waist. You cling onto your son, a forced smile on your lips standing behind Uxi and Veifnr. This man was bizarre. The way he hovers lowly, fingers twiddling as if there are stars in front of his eyes and the way that he giggles as he flickers his fingers most excitedly against Veifnr’s nose. He kneels before your boys.

“And what is his name?” The strange man asks. Veifnr’s fingers come without fear to the runes that curl in a strip along his shaved head.

“Veifnr.”

Another giggle and the man looks delightfully at Veifnr. “Why he doesn’t have your eyes. Or yours. What a lucky boy.” He points out. You’re not entirely sure who the hell he is to tell you that. Kitta comes to join the rest of your tiny family.

“Hello Floki.” She says. Floki pulls back from Veifnr, arching as he looks at the reigning queen. They’ve met before. You can tell by the look over his face. Distaste.

“Kitta. You’re still here.” Floki says swaying.

“Did you think I wouldn’t be?” The Queen says.

Floki doesn’t miss a beat. “Yes. Now come with Floki.” He motions to Veifnr, showing him his swift boat. Veifnr wordlessly doddles after and despite how worried you are, you let him go. You’ve never seen your little boy so excited. He makes soft little huffs of excitement, hands squeezing and releasing as Floki loads him onto his lone one man boat.

“He’ll be safe with Floki.” Ivar leads you closer. Floki had come to see Ivar after word spread of how the son came to fruition. How his two wives fought over another king and the anger that snapped Ivar into two. He seems pulled together now– but colder. Floki took Veifnr cuts through the waters, showing him bits and pieces of his boat while the boy followed him with nothing short of delight. Eventually they came back ashore and your little boy would bounce to the edge of the boat. You wave to him as he giggles richly and waves back to you from on top of the boat.

“Ma! The boat!” He says– and your face snaps to Ivar. Six years later, you finally have the first words from your son. Ivar doesn’t both to restrict the small smile pulling his lips as Floki and Veifnr drop to the planks of wood that you all stand on.

“Let us see.” Floki flickers his fingers as you hand him Avaldr. His breathing was still harsh and raspy, even months later. It is clear that it isn’t getting better. You gingerly hand off your son to him. Floki examines the boy in your arms. His face is mixed in emotion– but the worst of it is the kohl on his eyes that accentuate those blown wide pupils, eyes shifting to Ivar.

“He looks like Gyda.”

“We are keeping him?” Kitta stands over the little boy in the bassinet. He has his sharp blue eyes open, staring at the ceiling while taking rasping breaths. You came to Kitta’s side, leaning in to press a kiss against his forehead.

“Yes, I am.” You answer.

The Queen hums in acknowledgement. “He is cute.” She says as she walks around the room. Kitta has been strange as of late. Quiet and pensive, less prone to outbursts. You knew that once the newness of Avaldr wears off, she will be back to yelling at you.

“He took you instead that night.” She inevitably says. “Why is that?”

He meant the night that Avaldr was conceived. The night that Ivar made you take his seed and the night that no one questioned him for. Why? Because he was your husband. If you had been courting or friends, it would have been different. Everyone would look to crucify Ivar. Instead, no one was… especially not when they found out how you lacked to see to Ivar’s sexual appetite for you.

You should have known better than to tell the gods you would not have an Ivarsson. They had a cruel manner of showing you that they chose who gave birth to who. You walk back to finish caring after your bed linen– a bed that was cold without Ivar there. He became distant. Too ashamed to see you, too sorry to convince himself to lay in your bed. It served him right. You hope the gods followed his conscious for what happened to Avaldr. He needed to learn that he could not do this. Not to you, not to anyone.

“He wants to own me. Just like you want to own him.” You say, tucking a snowy fur Sverri gave you neatly against the bed. It was exceptionally warm when Avaldr and you cuddle late at night. Kitta stops at your words-- knowing that yes, you knew. You rise up to stand straight as she crosses the furs to look down into your eyes.

“You don’t understand.” She says. “He is mine. And what his is mine– the boys and you.”

She thinks you want to fight over your husband now? After what he had done? You flick your fingers against her cleavage to push her back, finding an annoyed frown on your lips. Kitta wanted to keep you under her fingers. To enjoy your body, to have your body give her the children she could not and keep you in place. You knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to control you. For more babies? You say nothing because as far as you are concerned, your fate is tied up with Ivar. Until the seer hinted otherwise, you are stuck here.

“I think it’s better you left.” You leave her side. Confident with your submission, Kitta leaves you between your head and hands, thinking about what just happened. You were used to fighting over Ivar. That was familiar, sure. Perhaps you knew that she wanted to be the sole mother to the boys. But her blatant claim that you too were hers?

That… was strange.

@nikkipea @igetcarriedawaywithyou , @kylobien , @titty-teetee , @breathlessouls , @nejijjeoroo , @bcat1291 , @readsalot73 , @mslothbrok (no mix), @romanchronicles, @ateliefloresdaprimavera , @ailucascen , @michaeliskindahot , @concretewaywardangel, @directionlessbuthappy , @hizz-hizz-mothertruckerz , @some-blondes-unicorn , @atequila, @rekdreams247 , @ivarswonderlust , @writingeverynowand-then , @hp-hogwartsexpress , @minarawr , @haliannej, @strangunddurm , @cbouvier23 , @peachesnpisces , @elenawrit , @equalstrashflavoredtrash, @roxxck , @ilvebeenabad , @vikingsmania , @the-geeky-engineer , @huntingbears , @my-little-wolfe , @mitchiri-nek0 , @seize-the-droid , @Certifiedpoison, @hotshotstar , @a-writers-dreams , @quaint-and-curious-being, @ivarthotbrok ,  @mitchiri-nek0 , @salimahbicharara-comun, @captstefanbrandt, @alicedopey , @imagine-this-motherfucker, @zoetrope1997 , @kingniazx , @lost-and-wandering-alone , @amandaseibaek , @queenmissfit  , @calaena-banrion , @memememememe1-blog , @lost-and-wandering-alone , @rubyquartzshades   , @naaladareia, @lisinfleur , @abwrites, @zueserra, @mintandfigs, @AzmentineDaWinters, @mimi334545, @lovingeb, @akamaiden, @sam-draws, @dorned, @bloodyheat, @looneytunes20033 , @givemesmutorgivemedeath, @xivarx, @ethereallysimple, @imamom-makingadifference, @sunlightdaniel, @lif3snotouttogetyou, @hallowed-heathen, @that-darling-babygirl, @imaginetheeimpossible, @tierneygonzalez, @neeading_hugs, @funmadnessandbadassviking, @astertist, @Natmors

[endingscenery]

Bittersweet | Joshua

joshua hong/reader

genre: royalty au, fluff

summary: the pressures of becoming a queen definitely aren't easy but at least you have prince joshua by your side

words: 2.7K

a/n: this may or may not have been the result from watching too much victoria

Bittersweet. That was the only word you could think of to describe the events the day had brought so far and it was only eleven in the morning. You had awoken feeling the warm sun caressing your cheeks as rays of light slipped through the gap in the curtain and into your bedroom. With the help of your maids, you were styled to look your best for your special day; your eighteenth, a joyous day of celebration to be spent alongside your closest friends. Your stylist braided your hair intricately, weaving gardenias throughout the strands. You were dressed in a peach-coloured floor-length dress with gold embellishments. When you were led to the room of the actual celebration, you were greeted with an artistically crafted cake. The icing looked immaculate and smooth to touch, there were three tiers, complete with a miniature rendering of yourself positioned on the highest layer. Your day had seemed to be going so perfectly, until you heard the commotion from the palace hallways and one of your mother’s ladies had rushed into the room, urging you to see your father at once. Which lead you to the situation you were currently placed in. The scenery around you seems to blur – the people, the palace walls and its extravagant decorum – it all fades into blotches of colour. The only thing still in focus was the person in front of you, your most trusted friend, Prince Joshua of the Northern Kingdom. You concentrate on his back, watching his movements as he rushes in front of you as you try to organise your thoughts. Despite being from the North, he is quite at ease at your Southern Palace, having memorised the layout from his countless visits to your kingdom. You’re thankful for it as you’re sure you wouldn’t be able to direct yourself with how disarrayed your thoughts are at current. So you continue to follow the prince, making your way to the quarters of your father, or more specifically, the King and Queens’ quarters. Upon reaching the room, Joshua steps aside to let you enter first. Collecting your thoughts and attempting to prepare yourself, you take a long, deep breath. After knocking, you open the grand doors and step into the large bedroom.

Nothing could have prepared you for the look of extreme grief and sorrow struck upon your mother’s face. You watched as she clung onto your father’s hands, her sobbing filling the entire room as they gradually turned into loud cries and wails. You ran over to her side and took a clearer look at your father, his soulless eyes staring back at you. A choked sob escaped your lips as your knees sank to the ground. You wanted to scream, cry, anything, but your body wouldn’t allow you, no sound left your mouth, your lungs felt heavy. A hand rests on your left shoulder and when you look up you see Joshua. His expression is solemn, but he seems to hide whatever emotions he has extremely well. You know how much your father meant to him, he was like a second father to Joshua and to the King, Joshua was like the son he never had. You watch speechlessly as the prince reaches over and gently pushes your father’s eyelids closed.

You were sitting on your bed in your quarters, Joshua sitting on the couch positioned to the left-side of you room, when the doors were swung wide open while your maid, alongside a few lords and nobles, entered unannounced. It was then that they declared that you, Princess Y/N, would be made Queen of the Southern Kingdom, taking up your late father's place on the throne as you, his only daughter, being of the age eighteen as of a few hours, were now eligible to be crowned as the rightful heir to the throne. You felt as if all the air had escaped from your lungs and there was a loud, thumping, sound in your head as if someone was repeatedly beating it with a wooden spoon. You managed to sneak one look at Prince Joshua before being swept away to no doubt be briefed more on the following proceedings necessary to make you the queen of your kingdom. Queen. The look on Joshua’s face tells you he is as surprised and awestruck as you are.

❁❁❁

The weeks leading up to your coronation were hectic and nerve-racking to say the least and with each step, the pressure to lead the perfect example and ward off the many advances to prove your inability to rule was almost too much to bear. First, it was the matter of your walking, then they believed you selfish when you excused yourself early from dinner one night. Next, was your forgetting the name of one of the dukes you greeted despite remembering the names of the countless others you had met that evening. No matter what it was and how insignificant the matter, there was always an issue raised to you, people trying to use any mistake to prove their biased views of your inadequacy because of your youth and “naivety”. Yet, they failed to realise that you had been in training all your life to become a queen, a queen fit to rule her kingdom. Training you received from your father as he instilled his love for his kingdom and his people into you. If only they remembered that. And so, you sought to find the one person you knew would understand.

“Am I really fit to become Queen?”

Joshua looked up from the book in his hands at your question. You were lying atop the bed whilst he sat in the corner of the guest room. He was meant to return to his kingdom in the north, but after news of your newfound position, he decided to delay his trip a little longer until your coronation.

“Where is this coming from?” he asks, closing the book completely. “I thought you were excited to become queen·”

You let out a sigh, letting out the pent-up emotions from the past twenty-four hours.

“I feel like everyone is just waiting and wishing for me to make a mistake so they have reason to elect someone else as queen,” you sigh. “I even heard one of the maids say there were other princesses more fit to rule.”

Joshua moves over to the bed and falls into the space beside you so that you're both beside each other, staring at the ceiling.

“If it's any comfort, I think you'd make an amazing queen. I know you have the right ideals and the heart that would allow you to rule the people in the kindest way and for the benefit of your people. Plus, you have the strength needed to stick to what you believe is right. I think- no, I know, that under your rule your people will be happy and proud to call you their queen.”

Rolling over to your side so you're facing the prince, you notice the small smile etched across his face.

“You really think so?”

“I do, Your Majesty.”

You chuckle at the way he emphasised the title, but smile nevertheless, knowing his sentiments are sincere.

You return to your original position, lying on your back, while your hand searches for Joshua’s beside you. Once you find it, you intertwine your fingers with his. The prince feels his breath hitch for a second, heat rising up to his cheeks from the sudden contact and he hopes you didn’t notice it. If you did, you don’t mention it.

“Thank you,” he hears you whisper and he can’t help but smile even wider.

❁❁❁

The days following your talk with Joshua were still a battle of proving your abilities as a ruler, yet the pressure felt more bearable, knowing the faith your friend had in you. When days were especially difficult, you would recall the things he said and it made the weight on your shoulders a little lighter. Granted you didn’t see much of Joshua nowadays due to your busy schedule, but there were these times, as you made your way through one section of the palace to another where you would catch a glimpse of the prince, adorned with that angelic smile of his as his nose was buried in his books, or sometimes you’d catch the way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he works on the details of his next painting. And with each stolen glance, you felt something new. Something which made your heart warm and feel full. Something that made you wonder when the next time you’d get see him would be. It made you nervous and anxious, but at the same time filled you with joy and happiness. You were falling. Fast.

You didn’t get to speak much to Joshua until two days prior to your coronation. As a welcome for those who had travelled from afar to attend your coronation, a ball and big feast was prepared. Many princes of the Northern Kingdom came to visit, being both Joshua’s and your friends once he introduced them to you during your first visit to their Kingdom. There were many of them and altogether, there was an overwhelming thirteen princes, Joshua included. You recall feeling pity for their maids and whomever had to attend to whatever mess they leave behind when you first met the thirteen boys, but Joshua assured you they weren’t as rowdy and adventurous as you suspected. You also remember highly doubting that statement. Nevertheless, they were now your most beloved friends and you enjoyed their company very much. You were occupied with listening to Prince Seokmin retell stories of the mischief the princes got up to since you last saw them when the band started to play, multiple couples making their way to the middle of the ballroom. You recognised the melody almost immediately, it is one of your favourite dances after all, and on instinct, you start to sway from side to side to the rhythm. Seokmin chuckles beside you before offering to be your partner and you happily oblige, letting the music take control of your body.

Joshua takes a sip from his glass of champagne as he watches you dance the night away. You danced with Prince Seokmin first, then with Seungcheol, Mingyu and Minghao. Right now, you were dancing with Prince Soonyoung. Soonyoung is the best dancer amongst the thirteen princes and Joshua is mesmerised with how graceful the two of you look as you dance together. He had always known you enjoyed these ballroom dances but now, as he watched you both, he felt as if the two dancers before him were professionals. You surely had improved since the last ball he attended nearly a year ago.

“Are you gonna keep staring or are you gonna ask her to dance?”

Jeonghan’s words caught Joshua off guard that he nearly dropped his champagne glass. The song had just ended and if he was going to ask you for a dance, now would be an opportune time, but he can’t seem to get his legs to move to where you are standing. Light reflects off your satin dress, making you appear glow under the chandeliers. Your eye make-up is subtle with only a touch of colour, yet it makes them stand out so beautifully, Joshua often finds himself searching for them amongst the crowd, and your hair was adorned with pretty, pink peonies. In short, you look oh so heavenly you seem to have paralysed the poor prince. Thankfully Joshua doesn’t have to worry about asking you, as upon catching his eyes, you hurriedly rush over to him, grabbing his hands with yours and pulling him towards the dancefloor. Jeonghan simply laughs at Joshua’s dumbfounded expression.

As he dances with you, one hand on your waist, the other intertwined with yours, Joshua can’t help but feel he's in a dream. It all feels too surreal, you’re both in the centre of the dancefloor and all the other couples. Your hand rests on his shoulder, your eyes crinkle at the sides in happiness, your smile, it’s all the prince needs to feel at ease. Joshua knows he's loved you for many years now. It took him a while to admit it to himself, but he knows you're the only one he'd want to spend the rest of his life with. And as he sways with you, your bodies so close together, he can't help but wish the two of you could share many more moments like this together.

“Are you enjoying the ball?”

Your question interrupts Joshua’s thoughts and so he moves his head, angling it so as to look at your face to give you his undivided attention.

“I’m enjoying it very much,” he smiles, content that you’re in his arms.

“Will you be leaving after the coronation?”

Joshua’s smile falters for a second as he nods.

“I wish I could stay longer, but I extended my trip already.”

You hum in agreement, wishing you could enjoy his company for a lot longer.

“Let’s just enjoy the time we have left together then,” you sigh.

The prince nods in agreement, his grip on your waist tightening slightly in response.

The soft giggle you let out in response nearly kills him right then and there. Oh how he’d love to hear the sound of your laughter every day when he awakes. He thinks that must be what heaven is like.

❁❁❁

“The things which I have here before promised, I will perform and keep. So help me God.”

The day of your coronation had finally arrived and you had made the oath. It was now official. You were the Queen of the Southern Kingdom.

After all the legal proceedings which filled most of your day, you retire to your room just after dinner. You sat at your couch, feeling a weight lift off your chest. But as you continue to sit there you can’t help but feel a little at a loss. Now that you had some free time to yourself and weren’t busy, your mind had delved into thinking about your father, the late King. You miss him so much. In need of company, you leave your room and wander out through the palace walls.

You weren’t surprised your subconscious led you to Prince Joshua’s room. You knocked before entering, greeted with the prince’s back as he packs his belongings into his suitcase in preparation for his trip home.

“Do you really have to leave?”

Joshua turns around and immediately picks up on your sombre expression. Quickly, he stands up from his crouched position on the floor and runs to your figure, embracing you in a hug. You rest your head against his shoulder, the tears you were keeping from falling giving way and soaking his shirt.

“I’m sorry. I know I’m supposed to be strong about this yet here I am crying despite it being a day where I should by all means be overjoyed.”

Joshua simply runs his hands through your hair, humming a melody in hopes of comforting you a little. He smiles when he notices your crying has stopped and your breathing starts to become more regular. He pulls you back a little and so you lift your head to look at him instead of resting it on his shoulder. You remain silent as the prince wipes the remaining tears from under your eyes.

“It’s okay to be sad, you don’t have to pretend to be strong all the time.”

He cups your face in his hands before angling your head so as to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead, but when he leans back, he still has his hands on your cheeks. You smile up at the prince and place your hands over his. He leans closer and your breath hitches. His lips are centimetres apart from yours and they look so soft.

“May I?”

“You may.”

He smiles his angelic smile before connecting his lips with yours. You melt into the kiss and run your hands in his hair, kissing him with all you have so he can feel your passion, pouring out all your love and affection for your lover, your best friend, your prince. When you finally part you’re both breathless.

“I love you,” you whisper, afraid that if you say it any louder you’ll break this reality.

“I love you too, your majesty. I always have.”

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

The Princess, pt. 2 (S.M.)

Summary: Two months later, destiny finds a way to reconnect two young flames.

Warnings: angsty fluff

Word count: 2120

The Princess - Masterlist

It's been almost two months since the last time you've seen Shawn. You were a very busy person and during the day, you'd somehow fool yourself into believing you were okay, but at night, when the world fell asleep and everything got quiet, your mind seemed to be the loudest. Some nights you'd lay awake, thoughts of him overrunning your need to sleep. His almost ware-wolfish golden hues haunted you in real life just as much as they haunted your dreams.Yes, you managed to watch a whole season of Teen Wolf before you were discovered and your TV privileges got revoked. Shawn kind of reminded you of Tyler Posey with his perfect curls that were so soft to touch, lips so sweet and plush. Well, you saw Shawn in everything and everyone and it drove you mad at times.

„In our dreams“, you whispered softly as your eyes closed and the dream fairy cast her spell allowing you to drift away. Your dreams were always the same way; a fairy tale came to life and you'd find yourself starring opposite Shawn. Once you were Jasmin, a princess oppressed into letting go of her dreams until a handsome thief came along and stole her heart. It wasn't that far fetched at all, because no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't forget how your heart raced when you were with him. He made your heart skip a beat every time a simple though of him crossed your mind and dreaming about Beauty and the Beast this stormy night didn't help you one bit. It was ironic, you thought, how all you ever wanted was to run away from your life, but not even your dreams gave way to a different reality you so yearned for. Shawn Mendes was all you wanted to let go of and all you needed to hold on to. He gave you a taste of happiness and like an addict you craved more, constantly thinking about how to get your next hit.

„Philip, a word please.“ You called the older man into your room politely, keeping up your princess image before others that watched every move you made.

„Of course, Princess.“ He walked in and looked at you expectantly as you paces back and forth, your hands folded in one another and set behind your lower back. The man you trusted more than yourself cleared his throat and you stopped, a small smile gracing your lips.

„I need your phone.“ You opened your hand, waiting for him to comply. He squinted his eyes and raised his eyebrows at your request.

„May I ask what for, Princess?“ He questioned and you started tapping your foot as your patience dwindled slowly just like the quiet echo of your heels.

„Do you want to know the truth or the lie I came up with?“ You smirked and he sighed.

„The truth, please?“ He pursed his lips and waited for you to come clean. If it wasn't clear by now, your relationship with Philip wasn't exactly the same as it was with the rest of the staff. To you, he felt more like family than your own family, and from what you could tell, he felt the same way.

„I just want to listen to some music, I swear! I cannot handle another symphony, because if I have to hear Mozart once more I WILL RIP MY HAIR OUT.“ You entangled your hands into your hair dramatically pulling at it to make your point and Philip raised his left eyebrow.

„Aaaand?“ His questioning gaze pierced through you, knowing you had more on your mind.

„It's Shawn's music.“ You gulped nervously, watching the unmoving man before you, hoping he'd let this one pass. You didn't have any freedom with your outings, or your future, so why wouldn't your internet access be controlled too? You had a phone and a laptop, but every call was logged and watched by someone in the palace, everything you searched online would come up and you'd be lectured by the Queen an hour later. So, you found a way to cheat the system...Philip. At times, he'd let you take his phone to give you some sort of a normal life and you appreciated it greatly. He could see you were feeling down ever since the Queen’s birthday and his fatherly instinct took over. Philip just wanted you to be happy and he broke a lot of rules to give that to you whenever he could.

„Give it back by 5 pm.“ He placed his phone in your hand and watched in amusement as you did a happy dance. Without a warning, you jumped into his arms, colliding with him with a thud making Philip grunt, but hug you back nonetheless.

„Thank you, thank you, thank you!“ You repeated over and over. Philip left you to your task and with shaky fingers you typed his name in the YouTube search engine. You were left speechless once all the new songs came first in results, 'Nervous' being the first. You listened to the lyrics with a smile spread across your face, tears running down your face. It felt so good to hear his voice once more, to feel your heart beating faster whenever he smiled in the new video. He seemed happy..which made you feel happy for him, but a selfish part of you hoped to see at least a glimpse of sadness and longing in his eyes. You hoped he was still thinking of you, dreaming about the two of you, just like you did every night. It felt like you were haunted and he seemed to be released from the demons that plagued you daily. To say you missed him sounded crazy for two reasons: One – you barely know him; Two – missing him was an understatement as it felt like he was the oxygen and after a dash of fresh air filled your lungs, you've been suffocating ever since that day. It was ridiculous really, how this one boy became a beacon of light for you in a single day. For a person who didn’t care for emotions much, he caused a flood of those pesky little human feelings to flow through you and it was hard to understand why..Why him?

„It isn't in my blood...I need somebody now! I need somebody now...Help me..it's like the walls are caving in..“ The lyrics resonated with you on a deep level, leaving you a mess. You wished you could discuss his music with him, talk to him about the lyrics, about your feelings. Too often have you felt that way, trapped in a world you couldn’t get out. Without anyone to talk to about what was going on in your head, sometimes it felt like you were losing it. You opened up to Shawn, for what reason, again, you weren’t sure. It must have been those puppy eyes that drew you in and made you think you could trust him.

Closing this app, you found his Twitter and Instagram, scrolling through his pictures, stopping every now and then to admire his perfect lips. You could still remember how they moved against yours, fitting seemingly perfectly. He probably didn't realize it was your first kiss either.You remembered how his hands tangled themselves in your hair, how they found their way to your hips, pulling you closer ever so slightly, like any distance between you bothered him.

Seeing him plan a secret London pop up show made you jump up with a squeal.  You couldn't help but give in to your innermost desires and made an account 'The Princess', sending a message to his Instagram page in hopes of him seeing it. If anyone found out about it, you’d be in so much trouble, but something inside of you needed to take this risk. So you did.

I see you've come back to a country where the Queen ignores you and the princess snogs you which I can only interpret as a good thing! XO

You knew it was a long shot, millions of people probably sent him messages daily, but you hoped he'd be drawn by your account name to at least read the message.

„Princess, I'm going to need my phone back.“ Philip whisper-shouted from the other side of the door and you sighed sadly, disappointed you never got to interact with him. You deleted every trace of Shawn and 'The Princess' from Philip’s phone and gave it back. Batting your eyelashes at him you pleaded for more time after everyone went to sleep and reluctantly he agreed.

You waited patiently, and by patiently you mean you were a nightmare to everyone who came in contact with you. Being so close to Shawn, knowing he was in the same city had you on edge and all you wanted was to run from your home and search for him. He was like an annoying infection spreading through your body with every heartbeat and every breath you take.

The night couldn't come faster and you kissed Philip's cheek before grabbing the phone from his hands. Plopping down on your bed, laying on your stomach, you quickly download the Instagram app and log in. You gasp audibly, making an 'O' shaped face as you saw a new message came. You took a few deep breaths, reminding yourself not to hope for something that might not be there to ease your potential heartbreak. Swiping to see the message, seeing his name in bold on the screen made your heart stop beating for 5 seconds completely. He read it...he answered.

I couldn't quite forget the best kiss of my life..Does than make me sound desperate? :)

You muffled your excited screams with a pillow, legs flying in all directions as sparks of excitement filled you up and shook you to the core.

I wouldn't say desperate...maybe cute? I'm honored to be crowned your best kiss.

You sent in another message, feeling the adrenaline pumping through your veins. You knew how bad this could be if anyone found out, because no social media accounts was a major rule for the royal family and once again, you found yourself breaking a rule that your grandmother would have your head for....they may not do the actual beheading anymore, but she was a scary woman and her punishments were worse than death.

I'm honored you even remember me. A confession: I never stopped thinking about that day.

Shawn's response had you in shock as you read the message 20 times over, word by word.

You're not the only one.

You confessed and the thought of letting him in your private thoughts almost made you sick to your stomach. You rarely let people in or speak your mind anymore, scared of being judged and scorned for your modern way of thinking.

I want to see you again..outside of photos and my dreams.

Shawn wrote and your eyes welled up, your bottom lip quivering. Those words felt like a hand grabbed your heart and clenched it tightly, your brain screaming at you for putting yourself in this position. You wanted to see him..more than anything. However, you couldn't go anywhere without the royal guard and a horde of other people...your meet up wouldn't be private. Not for you, not for the public eye and grandmother would probably freak out over the whole thing. How would you tell her you had fallen for a famous Canadian when she still had issues with Meghan and Harry?

Unless you're secretly Tom Cruise, that might be mission impossible.

You waited for his answer as your chest started to ache and shake, soft sobs coming out of your plush lips. Would you be able to somehow make it work? Maybe somehow, things would go your way. If it was meant to be, destiny would work in your favor, right?

If that's what it takes, Tom Cruise I will be.

His response made you cry openly and you had to put a hand over your mouth to muffle the sobs that racked your entire body. He has no idea how the court works. Both of your brothers scraped by with girls that weren't blue bloods because they were men..They were also more likely to be kings one day so everyone had a different approach when it came to them. You on the other hand were forbidden to seek relationships on your own, probably because they planned an arranged marriage or something like that. When you told him your future was planned for you, it wasn't a figure of speech. That rebellious streak came back to life once more and before thinking it through, you sent Shawn another message.

Where are you doing your performance in London?