#it's? so fun to answer asks? why don't i do this more????????

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Ranking the Veilguard companions Hookup Potential based on the kind of bed situation they have going on in the Lighthouse

(im in early act 2 so have no idea what further romance scenes are actually like, this is just jokin time without any romance spoilers. just pics of how their respective rooms in the lighthouse look and some basic characterization we know about them)

Taash: 8/10

In another game or the real world I would only rate this a 5 because she has no pillows or addition blankets. however she does have a real bedframe AND it's big enough for 2 which means she is doing better than 90% of the rest of the Veilguard so this score gets boosted. And while there's not many blankets, there are plenty of braziers around the room to keep you warm, and Taash is probably her own miniature furnace to cuddle up to. Crucially, she also has a whole wheel of cheese next to the bed, which means you don't even have to leave the covers to get a snack after.

Lucanis: 1/10

Oh no. I'm not even going to comment on the pantry angle because everyone else asks him about that to begin with, so this is just about the bed. Unfortunately the bed is a cot made of uneven wooden planks with some blankets on top of it, and is only wide enough for 1. This is because Lucanis hates sleeping and doesn't want to do it, so the less tempting his bed is, the better for him. Unfortunately this means sleepover potential is dreadful and you will have to find alternate solutions. He does at least have another blanket to go over him and one that's presumably being used as a pillow, so, he gets a 1 instead of a 0, but I am still planning on gifting him coupons for a back massage for Satinalia.

Bellara: 4/10

This setup is perfectly fine for sleeping. It's the lighthouse standard little bed couch thing, has a mattress/cushion, is elevated off the floor, has a pillow, and she's got her blankets folded below. Perfectly serviceable for getting a good night's rest which we know Bellara is not because she forgot to sleep again. However, it's very much a one person sized setup. You might be able to cuddle for a while but if one of you unconsciously tries to roll over you are going right to the floor. Ouch.

Lace Harding: 5/10

You might be wondring "why is sleeping on the floor rated higher than bellara's" and the answer is because this means you are not rolling off the bed onto the floor. it's not going to be comfy but we are not ranking comfort here we're ranking sleepover potential. Harding has managed to make this space look homey and the canopy gives the illusion of being in a tent or canopy bed to help with that illusion. There are rugs down on the floor plus the blankets and pillows--we know Harding is used to sleeping on the ground due to her career as a scout, and I'm sure she can scrounge up more blankets to make the cushioning big enough for the both of you. Your back WILL hurt in the morning but you'll get to have a fun night first.

Neve: 3/10

Girl I know you can do better than this. Which means you're not trying to on purpose, so, live your life I guess. I will say this cot IS bounds nicer than Lucanis's--you can see its a stretched canvas or hide on a frame rather than wooden planks, so it will have a little more give. However they are not THAT much comfier which I know having slept on this modern equivalent many times. Neve also apparently has 0 pillows or blankets so you're out of luck there, as well as the problem of it only being wide enough for 1 again. This woman has too many other things going on to think about romance so your Rook is going to be the one improvising on that matter I think.

Davrin: 10/10

Now here is a man who has his life together. Double or queen size mattress, rustic bed frame he probably lovingly carved and assembled himself by hand, and not only are there sheets AND blankets AND pillows, they are are full on matching set and this knight in shining armor dutifully makes the bed every morning. There's also enough pillows for two! While the remains of a giant corpse is hanging above you all night, the spacing of the ribs still gives you lots of room above to manouver, so just don't worry about that. As a bonus you'll probably even have a baby griffon come to cuddle in the night which is such a cute thought we're going to ignore how much worse getting stepped on by a griffon foot would be than even the biggest fattest housecat trying to stand on your stomach at 4:30am. My one criticism of the setup here is that due to the bed's positioning if the person on the inside needs to get up in the night they'll have to awkwardly crawl over the person on the outside, however everyone else's bed situation is so dismal I'm not even going to subtract a point for that. Great work Davrin.

Emmrich: ???/10

Where... does this man sleep. Peepaw I KNOW you can't be sitting in that armchair all night you need your beauty rest!!! There are 0 beds or cots or floor blankets in this man's room. HOW am I supposed to break his pelvis if he has nowhere for us to lie down??? We can't risk that old man's spine on the cobblestone.

Wait... unless. No, surly not. I mean--jk. Unless...? 😳😳😳

is daddy necromancer gonna fuck me on the sacrifice slab... 😳😳😳🥵🥵🥵

Bonus:

Solas 11/10

does not matter where he actually slept bc once my inquisitor Gets Him again they WILL be fucking on top of the piano in front of the mural in his Yearning Room

[nam-the-nacho]

Mit2uba's Trauma: An Analogy

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Tw: I will be discussing the abuse Mitsuba has suffered from his environment, nothing that isn't in the manga, but I want to give a heads up. Additionally, I'm fortunate to have not gone though any severe traumatic experience myself, and am instead using my general knowledge, meaning if anything is incorrect here, please point it out!

(Also manga spoilers obviously)

I'm not pretending this hasn't ever been discussed, however I have yet to see an analogy of the consequences of Mitsuba's creation and (practically nonexistent) upbringing.

I'm going to divide this post into sections, but they won't really be organized, maybe chapters is a better definition. This thing is l o n g, so without further ado:

1: Mitsuba being paralleled to a puppet:

This is done quite often, although not in the same ways. Besides the psychological aspects of being Tsukasa's "puppet", as in being forced to do as he says and overall being under his control, but there are physical correlations too.

Tsukasa referring to Mitsuba as a "Thing"

Mitsuba lets Tsukasa hold him. This is much more then a surface-level fact considering Mitsuba usually rejects contact/uses it as an excuse to blame others. This is easily explained by "Mitsuba is simply scared of Tsukasa, he can't tell him no", except Mitsuba doesn't look scared when being held, he just looks, expressionless.

More then that, he completely trusts Tsukasa with his body weight, leaning into his touch and allowing himself to be comforted by it. This obviously occasionally backfires horribly

While Mitsuba being punched is framed in a humorous manner, the implications and weight of it are very heavy. It's all fun and games until you remember this is how Mitsuba is being raised, and it's all he's ever known. If Mitsuba doesn't want to do what Tsukasa tells him too, he gets punched. If he talks back, he gets kicked out of the broadcasting room (we'll get back to this later). If he asks to be Tsukasa's friend, he gets fireworks shoved down his mouth.

And the results of this... well:

This one in particular is interesting to me:

"It's just Mitsuba being surprised because Kou suddenly raised his voice". But that's not what's being illustrated. Upon hearing "brace yourself" even from someone like Kou, who wasn't planning on actively trying to hurt Mitsuba, he literally stiffens, pales, and begins to tremble and sweat, dropping the piece of chalk he was holding (those things break way to easily, yk he was serious). It's not shock or surprise being drawn, it's just genuine fear.

This could very well be me overthinking, but Mitsuba falls in what is almost a doll-like manner, arms and legs completely stiff.

2: Social rejection and trivial treatment:

The Mitsuba chapter (ch. 40) was worse then I remembered.

Mitsuba runs away from the broadcasting room in search of a better, safer place to stay. Only to understand he has none.

What's worse is that these are the characters we see being far kinder to the rest of the cast. We see Yako, Hanako and weirdo super-natural teacher together in his living quarters, watching tv together, but when Mitsuba approaches them...

(Tsuchigomori eventually does stay with him, but his opinion of him doesn't really change.)

"This guy's a pain, I'm out of here"

Tsuchigomori doesn't know Mitsuba, the only time we see them meet was when Tsuchigomori refers to him as emergency rations (above), and when he answered Mitsuba who asked him a question (answer starting with "You seriously don't know?" (YES SIR HOW WOULD HE KNOW HE'S LIKE ONE MONTH OLD)).

He probably heard he's a prankster from Hanako, which is why he wants nothing to do with him.

The point is despite Mitsuba needing to run from the closest thing he considers a "home", not a single supernatural actually understands his situation. Hanako borderline hates him, Nene barley understands he's a different Mitsuba, and Kou tends to accidently frame it as Mitsuba's CHOICE to stay with Tsukasa in the broadcasting room.

This is sadly something that can happen in reality, children trying to escape their less-desirable homes can often find themselves, sickeningly, returning after not finding somewhere or someone to take them seriously.

The most deranged part of this is that as a result of nobody properly digesting that he needs help, Mitsuba himself frequently convinces himself that everything is normal.

The implication that every time Mitsuba fights with Tsukasa he needs to just fend for himself until enough time has passed for Tsukasa to forget is sad. He's an outcast between the wonders for replacing the old No.3, despite his only other choice being death, which they don't know.

Sakura is probably the closest thing Mitsuba has to family, being in a similar situation to him, but it's incorrect to say she truly deeply cares about him. She's fond of Mitsuba, but never goes out of her way to help him when Tsukasa hurts him, and seems to have put her personal safety and goals as a higher priority then him (this isn't Sakura slander, I love my queen).

Natsuhiko treats him like a pet more then a human, and sometimes hits on him, which is just gross. Despite this Mitsuba genuinely appreciates him and sees him as an older brother. It's cruel to see this one-sided ordeal.

We don't actually know Mitsuba's true opinion of Tsukasa. In an almost realistic manner, his opinion is constantly contradictory. Mitsuba is scared of Tsukasa, but at the same time he only feels 'safe' when he's around.

Also, contrary to Sousuke, Mitsuba is more scared of Tsukasa then thunder, which could either mean that Sousuke's phobia of thunder was memory-correlated, or that Mitsuba is SO scared of Tsukasa that thunder is nothing in comparison.

Mitsuba freezing after hearing Tsukasa's voice

vs:

We know Mitsuba is aware that Tsukasa is not treating him okay, but by the time we learn this (pp arc), Mitsuba has half convinced himself that Tsukasa is doing everything he's doing to help him, and that "nobody else can help him anyways". Genuinely Mitsuba is one of the most subtle-yet-obvious victims portrayed in media I've even seen.

3: Ok-yeah-that's-not-okay moments

Do I really need to add anything.

I will anyways. Mitsuba is a dramatic by nature, unrelated to any of the emotional damage he's suffered. The fact that Tsukasa can make him stop crying just by demanding it really shows how bad he messed up Mitsuba. The ability to stop crying on command out of fear..... somebody save him.

Stay away!

Can't add to many pictures because of the tumbler limitations, but in every one of these scenes Mitsuba totally freezes, only regaining control and suddenly snapping once someone (aka Kou) does anything intimidating to him.

Going in-depth about the similarities between Kou and Tsukasa is an entirely different ordeal, but in short summery:

There's a carefully built connection between Tsukasa and Kou, that deserves a post of it's own.

4: Symptoms of trauma:

Trust issues are heavily associated with a problematic childhood, so it's not very surprising that Mitsuba struggles to trust anyone besides Tsukasa, even if he doesn't want to.

Very commonly appearing alongside trauma, self destructive behaviors are a tragically common coping habit. I don't think I need to add any pictures for this one, as practically every other sentence Mitsuba says have some 'Just let me pass away' coding to it.

Lack of memories is a symptom that appears in very severe cases, and while it isn't completely accurate to Mitsuba it's an interesting addition considering Mitsuba has no memories.

5: Character design:

Mitsuba has lots of chains and locks in his wonder form, a lock on his neck (which has multiple interpretations), one preventing his heart from beating, which could be a clever metaphor for Mitsuba further constricting his humanity by "choosing" to become a wonder, but most interesting:

What looks to be the remains of a leg shackle.

Mitsuba in a box labeled as fragile.

6: This definitely isn't symbolism for an eating disorder:

"I'm always hungry, no matter how much I eat" -M

"You starved yourself from all this moping around, just because you didn't want to eat something different?" -K

Can we talk about how the fandom collectively just skipped over the huge reveal that Mitsuba STARVES HIMSELF. Because I feel like that really wasn't talked about. As if this guy doesn't have enough going on, he now has to deal with constant starvation, dehumanization at new never-seen-before-pace, and the loss of his will to exist in the first place.

He is both metaphorically and physically falling apart, constantly in physical pain. When he isn't in physical pain it's because he's experiencing gut-wrenching psychological torment as he can't stop eating live beings. I don't blame this guy.

The only person who knew of this was Tsukasa, until he "told" Kou. Told is in quotation marks because it was never really Mitsuba trusting Kou enough to open up about the hell he's enduring, as mentioned before Mitsuba doesn't exactly know how to trust. The fact was forced out of him due to a dire situation, but Kou could not have reacted in a worse way:

Pro tip: If your reaction to learning that your best buddy is suffering from a complicated relationship with food, is shoving said food into their mouth violently, you might need therapy just as much as they do.

Kou is still unaware that Mitsuba's diet contains living things too, but if we're being honest that doesn't really put Kou in the right here. Like, man, I know you're freaking out because your friend just asked you to end him, but please take out your anger on something that isn't him.

And don't act surprised when this is his reaction:

This is arguably the a result of post traumatic stress disorder. Mitsuba didn't just escape, he hid in the nearest corner, making himself as small as possible, hid his head and trembled. The reason I'm calling this out as PTSD is because the only other time he panicked like this was right after Tsukasa shoved the bird heart down his throat.

So for both situations it's:

Tsukasa force feeds Mitsuba -> Mitsuba loses control (starts attacking everything)

Kou force feeds Mitsuba -> Mitsuba bites Kou

And the results are the same. He reacted the same way because mentally it was the same situation to him, It doesn't matter what the intentions were, Kou triggered an event(s (considering he's eaten multiple supernatural and is absolutely repulsed by it)) that Mitsuba had no intention of revisiting.

Summery:

Mitsuba's trauma is often overshadowed by more obvious displays of mental scarring, like with the Yugi twins and Kou, and is often represented with irony or humor, including by the creators themselves.

Even without everything he's gone though, Mitsuba was always a hopeless character. He just existed one day. He doesn't have anything, anyone. He's never been told he's loved, he's never felt sunlight, he never got to play, he's never had anyone tuck him into bed, or read him a story. He was robbed of his childhood, and any connections besides the few who remember him for someone that he isn't.

He doesn't even know what snow is, yet he knows how blood tastes like

This entire post wasn't even scratching the tip of the iceberg in terms of how much grave emotional turmoil Mitsuba has faced. And will face. Yeah I don't know how well his trust issues will cope with Natsuhiko leaving him to die. If he lives.

The idea of this long rant was to point out that Mitsuba's trauma and mental struggles are just as, if not more, relevant then his physical ones. And they do affect him, and they do have consequences. And they will most certainly come back 20x worse later on in the plot. I would say to prepare mentally, but I know tbhk fans can handle just about anything.

Thank you for reading!

ヾ(≧▽≦*)

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[annasofroma]

Was on an art kick today, and apparently felt like drawing stuff from my fic?

So, here's some pics of Odile in her very early twenties, along with my OC Camille, a med student that came to Ka Bue to learn surgery as that is a skill far more advanced in the country.

I also had a few thoughts about what Vaugardians might deal with living in a country where Body Craft is very much not legal, and they were also very much not gender conforming rather like Camille who's philosophy towards pronouns was, 'Oh any pronoun is fine, but I WILL be judging you based on what you pick~!'.

Pretending to be a bit stupid along with 'oh sorry, NO idea what you're asking, i suddenly don't speak enough of whatever language we were conversing in to answer that!' were the main ways Camille made it work.

Odile thought they were mortal enemies for the first few months of their acquaintance - Camille thought she was hilarious and fun to hang out with, and this is how he dragged her along to the underground organisation that taught people Body Crafting illegally. Odile's fury over "why would you trust me - you do NOT know me well enough to just let me follow you places like that?!' was not made less by Camille laughing at her for it.

Anyway yeah - glad to get a solid vibe for Camille down on paper!

[tkwrites]

I'm absolutely spamming you, sorry, I got home from a night shift and can't get to sleep 🤭

What are some of Quinn and Sarah's favourite things about eachother? Also small pet peeves?

Hi my Lovely,

Thank you for sending in all of your asks!

It'll take me a minute to respond to all of them, but it was such a joy to wake up to them on Friday morning!

I've already answered the question about their favorite things about each other. That answer is here.

It was so fun to think about their little pet peeves:

Sarah's number one pet peeve about Quinn is the way he leaves cabinet doors open. He does this in the bathroom especially, causing her to run into open doors when she gets up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.

"How hard is it to just shut the door? They've even got soft close hinges, so they won't slam."

"I don't know. I just don't think about it."

Quinn's biggest pet peeve about Sarah is that she constantly kicks her socks off in the middle of the night, so when he makes the bed on mornings when he's home, there's often a little lump at the end of the bed. Inevitably, it's Sarah's socks. Anytime he strips the bed, at least three pair of socks fall out with the sheets from where they've fallen over the edge of the mattress.

"Why don't you just take your socks off before getting into bed?"

"My feet are cold!"

"Then why do you take them off?"

"The sheets warm up, and by then, they're too hot."

Want more Quinn & Sarah? Check out the Snapshots Masterlist

[panpanghost]

part 2 of this thing:

Macaque heard them coming, Wukong's new friends. They were here when he first woke up, actually the strange kid was the first person he saw when he opened his eyes. The little fella looked so scared and worried about him, he even promised to find a way to save him no matter what. Such a nice kid.

But, he doesn't know who the kid is... After he left last time, Macaque asked Wukong about his identity but Wukong, strangely, just looked at him shocked and never gave him an answer, after that Macaque got the idea that he lost a part of his memories.

Macaque has been trying to get his memories back, but it's like shovelling through a mountain, he can't remember anything from the past years, he can't tell how long it's been. He tried asking Wukong about it, but, for some reason, Wukong is lying, he knows he's lying. He tells him not to think about it too much and just enjoy the present, Wukong won't answer no matter what he asks, he'd either avoid the question or lie.

But Macaque doesn't doubt Wukong, he knows he still cares about him, sure he was acting weirdly when Macaque went to sleep and shower with him, but he didn't kick him out or throw him away... he was acting strangely though... maybe... maybe they aren't that close anymore, maybe they drifted apart and haven't been together for a long time and Wukong is letting him stay because he feels bad for him-

No, no that can't be it, if it were the case then Wukong would've straight up told him to leave and he hasn't done that yet, in fact he's doing the complete opposite, he won't let Macaque leave his sight let alone the island. He's also been a lot more physical... not that Macaque is complaining about that... but still, that is not how you treat someone you want to get away from.

Maybe he can ask the kid, but would that upset Wukong? Shit... He can't stay like this.. Damn it. He'll deal with Wukong when he has to.

_"Hey Wukong, your friends are coming. Should we go greet them?" he asked playing with Wukong's hair, under the shadow of an old tree,

_"They are?!" Wukong got up from Macaque's lap dusting and putting himself together as if he was caught doing something he shouldn't. What's with him? Macaque doesn't remember Wukong being the shy type. No, Macaque is they shy one, Wukong used to have fun tormenting him in front of others.

_"Yeh, they'll be at the house any minute now."

_"Alright, thanks for telling me."

_"No problem, let's go see them, I'm actually kinda curious to know what that kid found out about the crown. All the monk said was that he felt a dark energy from it then nothing else."

_"Yeh.. about that. Why don't you just stay and rest a little more. I'll talk to them."

_"What? Why? It kind'a concerns me, don't you think I should be there?" Macaque is really starting to lose his temper,

_"Actually.." think Wukong, think! "When they first arrived here, you attacked them thinking they were enemies, and.. well... you guys don't get along that much..." would he believe that? it's not entirely a lie though..

_"oh- ok... I'll wait for you then." Macaque feels really bad, did he really attack them? but they seem so nice. It's really upsetting him, after what he'd done to them, they are still trying to help him, he should apologise, maybe make them some apology sweets, Macaque can't cook but he for sure can make killer desserts.

_"Hey, don't feel so down about it, I'll be back soon, ok?" Wukong feels a little bad for upsetting Macaque, but this is for the best, yes, it's for the best... is it?

_"ok." Macaque gave him a little smile. He should listen to Wukong, it's not like he can remember what he's apologising for. Wukong will take care of it.

[mistriavalley]

Alex is down bad for you (gn!farmer)

Note: Got this idea from @sagegotthesauce

TW: none

Masterlist

Alex is handsome, tall and strong and can be incredibly charming when he wants to. So obviously he thought it would be an easy thing to leave an especially good first impression on the hot new farmer when they walked over to introduce themselves. Just that it wasn't easy at all.

"You're the new-? Cool. Yeah. Alex." Wait what the fuck was that? Why the fuck did his breath get caught in his throat when he tried to speak to you? Maybe next time he will do better

His strength is...well, his strength. It's an important asset of his so naturally he tries to catch your attention by lifting weights infront of his house. He sees you by Pierre's or close to the Saloon? The dumbbells and weights are out the same second he lays his eyes on you and then he acts as if he doesn't notice you at all while grunting in an exaggerated way just to make you look at him

Alex craves to have a proper conversation with you, but so far you've only ever greeted him. The most you've said to him was when you introduced yourself. Normally he doesn't struggle with talking to someone he likes, but with you he finds himself to be nervous for the first time since...well...forever

The day he finds you alone at the beach during summer is like a gift from the heavens. With his gridball tugged under his arm, he confidently walks over to you and suggests to play catch. That way he can impress you with his athletic skills. Unfortunately you don't seem too into it and you don't even try to catch the ball which leads to you guys not really playing any catch

Nevertheless, you still tell him that you believe he would make a great gridball player. You might have just said that to be polite, but when I tell you that his growing crush for you makes him absolutely delusional. It definitely gets to his head and he wants, no, needs more. Any sort of compliment or praise leaving your sweet lips is like throwing treats at a dog

You start to live in his mind rent-free faster than he anticipated. His mind goes to you first thing in the moment and he has a mental picture of you in his head when he falls asleep. Hell, you even visit him in his dreams regularly and when that happens he wakes up with a lovestruck grin on his face

Whenever Evelyn mentions that she wants to send you her famous cookies over mail, Alex jumps to his feet. Why send it when he can walk over to your farm by himself?

Then one day you gift him an egg! From one of your chickens! What a time to be alive. Alex doesn't know if he should eat it or keep it, because it's something you gave him. He knows he can't keep it around forever though

Haley makes fun of him over the fact that he's so obviously head over heels for you. I mean, he is acting kinda pathetic with the way his eyes don't leave you for a second the moment you enter his vision or the way he oh so desperately begs asks for your attention. You're also the only thing he ever talks about nowadays

But then you do the unthinkable and ask him to be your partner for the flower dance! Oh, he doesn't know how to react. Alex feels like his heart is going to jump out of his chest and he's trying so hard to act all cool, but he's a mess. While he stares at you with a lovey-dovey look, he only manages a hasty nod, accompanied by a side-eye from Haley of course

It's so adorable how he messes up almost every single step of the dance. The same dance he's been participating in for years now and which steps he can usually perform in his sleep. Do you notice how nervous and excited he is? He's really hoping that you don't. Hell, he's even sending silent prayers to Yoba

"Hey, so I thought that uh you'd maybe wanna hang out? With me? Alone?" Just play it cool, Alex. You might have fucked that up on an ungodly level, but you gotta own it now. Wing it, man. "Like a date? I'd love to!"

He short circuits, blinks a couple times and is working hard to process your answer. You wanna go? With him? I mean, that is exactly the result he was hoping for when he was practicing this shit infront of the bathroom mirror, but he genuinely didn't think he'd get that far. Not with you. Not with the way he has been embarrassing himself infront of you the past months

He books a separate room at the saloon and everything is planned out up until the tiniest detail. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Well, unless he's acting like a desperate and pathetic fool again which he normally does when you're in his proximity

And holy shit it's so easy to talk to you? Don't get me wrong, he's still so fucking nervous and so fucking ready to roll out the red carpet for you just for showing up, but you're also such an easy going person. You two basically click immediately which you thought was the case a long time ago already, but he only now properly experiences this. In the past conversations you two have shared, Alex was always too busy not to seem like a complete looser

At the end of the date he of course walks you home like the gentleman he is. Your hands brush against each other during that and everytime that happens it sends jolts of electricity through his arm right into his chest where is heart is beating like crazy

You stop at your front door where you bless him with a smile and place your warm hand on his chest. This man is on cloud 9 and feels like he could fly away this instant. Then you completely rock his world by putting your lips, the same ones he's been daydreaming about 24/7, on his and he fights back a sigh. The butterflies are having a rave in his stomach right now

[shai-manahan]

hi, I sincerely hope I'm not being pushy or anything, and that you're doing ok! I saw your post about the devastating typhoon in your country and know that must be heartbreaking. if it's okay to ask, is Hollowed Minds still being written? I completely understand if it's not, since I (and other readers) know you have probably been going through a lot. I still love and think about your IF everyday to the point it's become a comfort game of mine and gotten me through some tough times with its engaging mysteries and angsty, touching moments, and though I would obviously be sad about it, the mental health and personal circumstances of authors are so much more important than a fan's feelings. I wish you good luck with life regardless of whether this IF is continued or not!

Hi! I appreciate the concern and your love for HM and don't worry because I'm still working on it <3 I know it's been a while, and admittedly it also distresses me that I haven't updated the game yet after all this time. But please be assured that this isn't a story I could ever let go of or even think about canceling no matter what.

Honestly, our country's been through a lot these past few years. My family, friends, and mentors have been through a lot as well. There is increased hostility targeted at marginalized communities everywhere and it's made a huge impact on my writing and my perception towards my own characters. I also find I relate to a lot of them now to an extent I never wished to reach.

It's partly why I decided to make MC someone with Filipino (specifically Tagalog) heritage, why I made their personality a little more preset (while still allowing space for headcanons and a few trait choices), and why I'm making some revisions to make certain details clear upfront.

Also, I suppose I'm just afraid a lot of readers would not get the point of the series itself. We're still at a very early stage of the plot, and while I've gotten anons whose theories have made it clear that they understand what this is eventually leading to, I do get the sense that some might still think of it as a mere cop thriller story when I actually aim for it to be a critic of policing institutions and the system itself. This is something that would be made clear anyway as we progress, but I at least want it to be apparent that MC will never ally nor respect some characters throughout the series, and that there are actions they would never find justifiable/fair.

I haven't posted significant progress updates lately (which is also why Patreon billings are still paused atm) because I don't think I've made enough progress to talk about. I will still answer asks, however, so please feel free to send them if you have questions/concerns/fun asks!

And I'm really glad HM has helped you get through tough times :') I know writing it helps me as well.

[insomnya777]

Like to requests write or to read?

If you haven’t checked it out already, I’m currently obsessed with this Reincarnated into my wife’s dating sim one, although it’s still ongoing, so it hasn’t quite hit the romance just yet. But I request you read it.

To write… man do I have plenty of bad ideas. Like I’m surprised nobody has gotten in on the whole scootball thing, it’s perfect for rivals to lovers/ rivals who are lovers.

Or for a more silly one, Joel’s running a daycare with all of his kids (Hermes, Mandy, Jeremyism, etc.) being the ones he’s looking after + maybe a hermit or two. Suddenly, this new white haired guy from Canada is dropping off his little sister Gem every day. And randomly bumping into him from time to time. Somehow things are different. He’s starting to actually enjoy his job. He finds himself looking at simple things through new eyes. And he’s totally not falling for the Canadian at all. Not at all.

I have like at least 10 different ideas bouncing through my head, but not enough writing skills.

oh my god thank you so much. i was actually talking about to read (i love reincarnated into my wife's dating sim omg) but u have got some great ideas and i have to admit i have been lacking a little in the inspiration department 😭

first of all i'm sorry to say but i have no idea what scootball is. so. there's that. but i sooo love the idea of rivals to lovers so maybe an olympics au or something like that?? imagining hockey (mostly cuz i'm canadian and that's the only sport i know like anything about lol)

DAYCARE AU!!!!! i love the way u wrote that, hes totallyyyyy not fallling for etho at alllll. sure joel!! ive been rotating an idea similar to that around in my head for a couple of days, an au where joel n etho are both single dads and drop their kids off at the same daycare every day and, inevitably, their kids become best friends so they're stuck having to host play-dates for each other lollll. maybe they've got a little unspoken competition going on, who can make it the best and the most fun. do u see the vision ahahah???

totally get the having a million ideas but not the writing skills or the time that's so me 🙏🙏 ive just been yolo-ing all day every day

[gingermintpepper]

I saw it in your tag game post that you're also fond of the Apollo-Heracles conflict 👀 for a myth that appears in only a couple of sources, it sure has a lot of presence in the vase paintings (no seriously, everytime I think I've seen the last of it, I find ten more)

SO do you have any favorites among the paintings that represent this story??

OMG OMG THIS ASK IS A GIFT. IT IS A GIFT THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT THIS

I also think it's extremely interesting that it's a story so popularly portrayed by vase paintings and in such a variety of ways!! It's certainly one of the stories that gets left out of written compilation of Heracles' legend a bit (which is a shame, I think it's a fantastic story) but Apollo had a very peculiar relationship with Heracles in general that I just kind of find amazing (and very, very funny).

Apollo is not a god with any legitimate grudge against Heracles, but he does argue with the mortal a bit like he argues with his favourite brothers 😂Part of why I love the story of Apollo and Heracles fighting over the tripod so much is that it is such a little brother thing for Heracles to be upset with the proclamation his elder brother has given him and so, he throws a great fit, taking up the chair and declaring that he'll just give himself a better prophecy! And Apollo, instead of being a marginally professional big brother, decides to fight him for it until their father has to break up their cat-fight. Like was that not just the plot of the Homeric Hymn to Hermes? Is this not exactly how Apollo treated Hermes when he was a child and now those two are inseparable? 💀

Because of this, my favourite vase paintings tend to be the ones that highlight the personal squabbling between Apollo and Heracles the most. There are some very elaborate ones that have the full host of them - Athena, Heracles, Apollo, Artemis, usually a dog and a doe, I've even seen a couple that had birds and plants etched on them, but the simplest ones that show Heracles about to bonk Apollo with his club out of frustration or depict Heracles nyooming away from Apollo while Apollo (presumably) yells curses about how he's going to fling Heracles head first into Tartarus for daring to take his things? Yeah, those are the premium big brother/little brother things I'm looking for.

(Photo. Marie-Lan Ngyuen)

(Photo. Museo Claudio Faina)

Also the one in the Theoi.com archives is a real classic - perfect energy.

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the ask game (1)

au where bruce is attracted to his robins and batgirls. he tries not to think about it or act on it, but it's getting more difficult with every new member of his team he acquires. does anyone know? do the robins and batgirls notice his weird behavior? what do they do about it? do they ever find out the truth? who would think it's terrible and who would find it strangely hot/comforting/nice? does bruce ever act on his feelings?

for the ask game!

oh my GOD do i have thoughts for AUs like this, i love this shit so dearly, dirtybadwrong Bruce who's trying to keep a lid on it my beloved.

i think the fun of this AU is if characters would notice Bruce lusting for themselves vs would they notice Bruce lusting for a different Robin/Batgirl. like does Dick pick up on it when it's just him and Bruce? no, because it's just. him and Bruce. he and Bruce are weird and complicated and hold endless bounds of nuance. that's just How Bruce Is, and Dick is the "test run", in a sense. he knows Bruce is new to this whole sidekick/family thing and is giving Bruce grace for being rough around the edges. but when Bruce starts looking at Jason or Tim or Cass that way, that's when Dick starts to notice. it's never enough of a suspicion he feels justified to bring it up, but the thought lingers. he's hyperaware and grows less and less comfortable with leaving them alone with Bruce. it's a weird game of chicken, Dick and Bruce staring each other down when Bruce's touch lingers too long. each waiting for the other to say something first. if Bruce ever broke and actually acted on his feelings, Dick would be eaten alive by the guilt of knowing something was up, but never saying something until it was too late.

obviously, Cass would know. there's no world where Cass *doesn't* know, the nature of who and what she is would immediately clock it. but the issue is, Cass doesn't have a good framework of what family looks like. she doesn't really understand familial vs romantic love bc she has no firsthand experience of what a parent's love should even look like. so she never calls it out. she just watches. i'm a fan of Cass believing this is normal and believing she too can express and act on attraction that's vaguely incestuous. maybe it's with Babs, maybe it's with Dick or Tim or Bruce himself. but she recognizes this as Normal and Accepted within the Batfamily, so it severely fucks up her understanding of familial love and i just. man it's my favorite thing about Cass in Batcest honestly, is how you can play with her lack of experience with love, boundaries, and sexuality.

Tim is the fun one for me. because my favorite flavor of BruTim is when Tim knows, as he agrees to be Robin, that there's a non-zero chance that Bruce is going to be Weird and agrees anyway because he's decided it's an acceptable risk. so Tim knows from the get-go because he's expecting it. if Bruce acts on his attraction, i think it's either with Tim or Cass first, because they're the most likely to confront him about it in a way that isn't entirely negative. Tim has accepted it's a possibility and Cass just seeks being loved and touched so. it leads to the first time someone's ever confronted Bruce about it. and the thing is, Bruce really doesn't like confrontation about his flaws. the first time Tim tries to imply he's okay with it, Bruce would lash out at the idea, tell Tim how inappropriate that is and benches Tim for a week. it'd probably take a united front from Cass and Tim to get Bruce to even *admit* to the attraction. still Bruce wouldn't allow it to happen and he brushes them off until finally, the dam breaks. it's fun if there's a cause like sex pollen, but i think it's *more* fun if it's just. a random fucking Tuesday and finally Bruce is at his limit. he has no real reason, there's nothing particularly different about that day's routine. he just sees Tim or Cass striping armor and sighs and gives in.

i don't think Steph, Jason, or Babs would notice until anything substantial happened. not because they're not wicked smart, but just because none of them were looking for it. Jason put Bruce on a pedestal when he was alive, and when he came back from the dead he wasn't close enough to be noticing Bruce's interpersonal dynamics outside of his narrow scope. Steph has no real framework for what healthy fatherhood looks like, so if Bruce's touches linger, if he stares too long, she just shrugs and assumes it's how it is. and Babs was just never quite close enough to Bruce to notice. if and when she notices, is when actual sexual things start to happen between Cass and Bruce. because Cass would see no reason to hide it. Babs would be pissed, but it'd be tricky to navigate. Cass would be an adult, even if she's only 18/19, so technically, she's old enough to be consenting. if nothing else, Bruce is a careful man. even when he breaks and gives in to his desires, he covers his tracks well. he makes sure he has enthusiastic consent and there's no legal recourse that could be taken. age of consent and all that. there's not much Babs can *do* other than try to tell Cass (and/or Tim) that this isn't normal or okay. not that it gets her anywhere, but god would she try.

by the time Duke comes along (if we venture out of the pre-Flashpoint era) i think it's a sort of. open secret, in the Batfamily. talked about in nothing but hushed whispers and knowing glances. at some point, they've all had sex with Bruce, caving all for different reasons. some more than others. Tim sees it as a duty, Cass sees it as a way of seeking comfort, Steph sees it as getting Bruce's approval for once, etc. it's never forced on them, but eventually, they all come to Bruce sooner or later. and that's the fun irony of it, i think. they try to convince the others not to, but would go to Bruce on their own well. because complicated reasons they can't put into words. sometimes, Bruce is just a messy man who doesn't realize how prized his Attention to for the rest of the Batfamily. that weird duality of not liking him, but also wanting desperately for him to like you. all of them have dealt with it, at some point. so for Duke, it takes a while for him to understand this... whole dynamic. it's Cass who tries to explain it to him, and he's a little horrified, a lot confused. especially when Bruce starts staring at him a little too long as well. i think he'd only want to watch first but well. they all cave eventually.

also fun bonus if we venture into the Dark Knight Returns universe for my bestest girl Carrie Kelley: there's such a like, "i'm fucking around and i'm finding out" vibe to Carrie. like Tim, she's very proactive in just. deciding she's going to be Robin and she's ready for whatever that entails. (IMO canon Carrie is closer to fanon Tim than canon Tim is but *that* deserves its own post-) like she takes one look at the old man that is Batman and goes yup. he's never fucking getting rid of me now. if Bruce started having weird feelings about her, i think she'd have *fun* with it. she's decided she's in it for the long haul and for whatever being Robin means so. she's almost teasing about it, seeing how hard she can push before Bruce snaps. since it's an older, gruffer Bruce, i think he'd express open annoyance at it first, almost a sort of banter about how Carrie behave. but of course he caves and Carrie leans into it, because there's a fun in having all of Bruce's attention to herself. in the main timeline, Bruce is pretty split with so many Robins and Batgirls, but during their era, it's *just* her and him and she's very proud she's got him all to herself.

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

i can't tell if i'm just not paying attention or if mouthwashing just doesn't make any sense

[ancha-aus]

Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAU - Required Feelings

Hey @spotaus !! As promised! A little thingie :3 As always. No worries about it being canon canon or not hahah. the end choice is up to you ;)

So Spot and I were talking about Killer and his story and it got me thinking about something we already established would happen and happened.

Mostly Killer's interest in Ccino. Because with everything going on with Killer? That makes that so much more interesting. Especially because Killer is still figuring out who he is after everything and Ccino is pretty much a social chameleon.

You guys ready? So here are some drabbles on pretty much a normal average day for Killer since coming to the castle!

Warnings: unhealthy relationships. slight sexual harrassment (not by the guys in focus but done by a background character.)

Also this got a... bit longer than planned... woops. i schemed too hard.

*--------------------------------------*

The last two months had been... strange.

Don't misunderstand. the training? brutal. But so good.

Killer never knew that it could be... fun to move and exercise.

He is so used to only running when he is running from the guards. He is so used to fighting only being adrenaline filled movements to keep the guards back so his best friend- ... so Chara could escape.

He is used to having to tug himself in tight places to hide. places that are uncomfortable.

Training with Nightmare is strange and difficult but fun.

The first time they sparred though?

Well... Killer is never afraid obviously. Chara said that being afraid is useless. But as Killer had stoof ready Nightmare had stopped. Tilted his skull at him and shaking his skull.

Killer had been terrified he had failed. Was his stance wrong? Was he not in the right defences postion? what did he do wrong? Please... He can do better.

Nightmar ehad walked over to him and looked at him calmly before saying that he wouldn't hurt him.

Killer had been frozen in place. because he knew that of course. Killer knows there is no use to training by hurting him. He learned that. Nightmare forced him to stop trianing and taking breaks at the start when he noticed that Killer was pushing himself to far. another difference from chara...

Nightmare had pretty much told him that his body didn't seem to agree with Killer. so that they would go back to Killer attacking him and Nightmare just blocking.

They haven't tried to spar yet since.

Killer sighs as he just wanders the halls. It is his thing at the moment.

When he isn't training, eating or sleeping. He likes to wander the grounds and area. explore a bit. Lay in the grass nad think about Ccino.

Sigh...

Ccino...

Killer is still unsure what to do with these... things he feels. He knows what this is of course. A stupid childish crush. Chara told him about them before. That people get stupid when they have tiny crushes. Especially when it is on someone that is way out of their league.

Killer had nobbed because it made sense. Chara would never have someone being out of their league. More that Chara was out of the league the other person was in.

So here he is... having a little crush on someone who is unobtainable.

Which Killer had known since the start so why did his stupid soul decide on this?

But... at the same time...

Killer looks outside as his mind wanders... His soul shifitng from the target to the more normal soul shape. Could you blame him? Ccino is... Ccino. He is so smart and everywhere and always so controlled and just always knows what to do and who is who...

Killer watches the forest in the distance and sighs wishfully... It would be easy.. especially now that he has a bit of gold... Tehy could get on one of the few horses together. and just ride off into the forest. They would keep going until they found a city where they could hide... Ccino and him. Just them...

He leans against the stone and smiles. Killer could show Ccino everything he knows from living in the city. How to get food where and how to dodge people. Ccino would be there for him. Help him and be nice and just... be there.

"Hello Killer."

Killer shotos upright and turns quickly. Only to come face to face with Ccino. Well not face to face as Ccino is a bit shorter but it is close.

Killer feels his body warm up slightly as he coughs to clear his throat of nothing but stupid nerves "Ccino! I didn't hear you." he grins "You sure you aren't a trained spy or guard yourself?"

Ccino tilts his skull and looks slightly amused "Very sure. I think i would notice the training for one." He looks around and looks through the window for a moment "I saw that you were just standing here and was wondering if something was wrong." and Ccino waits.

Oh gods what does he say? that he was just staring outside and thinking about the future they could ahve if they just made a break for it? that is not going to fly. oh fuck why are his hands sweaty.

Killer shrugs as he grins "Me thinking? You should know by now that i never think!" oh please just end him. what is he doing?!

Ccino frowns slightly before shaking his skull. Killer would feel bad about it but he has a tiny smile! That is something! that is something amazing!

Ccino looks back at him and frowns "Are you okay?"

Killer jsut... blinks at him... him... okay? of course he is okay? "Why wouldn't i be okay?"

Ccino keeps frowing as he just looks at him "Because your soul is a little... woobly... I was wondering if you are okay." he looks a lot stricter "If you aren't okay or feeling alright you need to tell us."

Killer however is... well he isn't NOT listening because how can he not listen to him? But Killer is sligthly panicking. of course his soul is woobly. Because his stupid soul is feeling stupid feelings about Ccino which just get worse when Ccino is here and what does he even say?! Wait! distract and redirect! Easy!

killer grins "Checking out my soul? You should take me on a date first."

WRONG DIRECTION! DIFFERENT DIRECTION! DON'T REDIRECT INTO THAT DIRECTION!

Ccino doesn't even blink at his very poor attempt at a flirt "Killer. I am being serious. Are you feeling okay? If you are sick you need to take time to rest and heal before anything else."

Killer snorts nad shrugs "Euh. I would be fine anyway. The king would probably hate me skipping training for something as stupid as me not feeling okay."

Ccino frowns at him "Killer... I know for sure that our king would much prefer you taking your time to heal and feel okay over you hurting yourself or getting sicker by pushing yourself too far."

Killer snorts as he mutters wiht a shrug "You jsut think that because you have priveledges..." which Killer immediantly regrets. it sounded like an insult or rude or whatever it is called.

Ccino shakes his skull as he mutters "No it is..." he sighs as he rubs his skull for a moment before focussing on him again. "Killer. I can assure you. I swear and promise. our king would not react poorly to hearing you are not feeling well." and he gives him this tiny tiny smile.

Killer feels weird and he has so many impulses and thoughts he doens't even know what to do at the moment. his body is unsure and killer jsut stays put as he looks to the side wiht a shrug.

Ccino watches him for a moment but doesn't push further. Instead he just nods as if Killer made any type of sense as he looks down the hall "Were you going to get dinner? it is about time for it."

Killer takes the out wiht both hands as he answers "I was going into that direction." and if he wasn't before he is now!

Ccino nods "Then we can walk together." he starts to turn and looks at him.

Killer feels his hadns get sweaty again. the impulse to hold the other. to just wrap his arms around the other and never let go. The need to pull him back and away. The other need to just sit with him and stare.

He can not be near him now. Ccino is offlimits and Killer is a mess.

Killer finds his voice "You know... now that i think about it... dinner? yeah... i dunno. Not exactly hungry... maybe you have apoint about me not feeling well. I am going back to my room and rest."

Ccino frowns at him but once again nods "okay. If you still feel ill tomorrow just tell one of the maids okay? Take it easy and try to get some sleep." and ccino walks away. towards the area to get food.

Killer rushes back to his room and falls on the bed. He groans long and loud. Why is he like this? why is this so hard and weird and strange?

Why does he never want it to stop.

Even so Killer jsut lays in the bed. feeling his soul slowly calm down from the racing pace it had been going. slowly it calms a calm pace and Killer thinks he slept for a bit.

Killer wakes up of course. He is hungry.

Ugh. this is what he gets for lying and skipping dinner.

Killer groans as he sits upright... he hopes there is some stuff still in the kitchen for him to raid and-

something in here smells delicious?!

Killer looks around and finds a plate of food on his nightstand. It is mashed potatoes with some greenery in it... hotchpotch? with something that looks like a large meatball and there is a tiny note.

Killer takes the note and reads it. It is ccino. telling him to take it easy and that he left him a meal for when he feels hungry.

Killer takes the plate. and while the food isn't hot anymore it is still warm. He takes a careful bite. but instead of chewing or swallowing he just waits and feels.

He enver realy had meals with intent before. Killer was never in a position to get those. And most restaurants places he took food from hadn't had a chef that cared enough to put intent in.

THe cooks here put a lot of intent in the food. Of nourishment mostly. the want that they feel good.

Killer didn't feel it right away so he doesn't think the normal cook made it. especially because it was chicken planned for dinner today.

He feels it.

It is weak and so light but it is there. Care. soft care from a magic that killer hadn't felt fully before. But the same care he could see shinign through Ccino's eye lights.

It feels like the magic... holds him. but not like guards grabbed him before. but softer and gentle and if he can break.

Killer only finishes his bite onces he absorbed every last bit the intent. He looks down adn ignores the fact that the goop from his sockets are dripping. that the goop is way more watery than normal.

-----

There are a lot of cats out in the castle.

Killer at first hadn't understood why.

Killer knew the church for nim used the animals as sacrifices. That he had...

Killer however also knew that Nightmare is very against sacrifices. If he learned anything in his four months here it was that. Nightmare hates everything that relates him back to his mother.

The news that nim and ngihtamre had been related... well... Killer will admit he had been looking back on those old fantasies or running away wiht a certain someone much more seriously.

But nightmare hated the old ways. He looked at them with disgust each time they were brought up and tried to make sure no situation happened where they woudl be needed. Killer is unsure what nightmare will do once something needs to happen that require those very things.

Maybe Nightmare will just keep refusing to do it. He seems to be very set on doing that.

Either way.

Cats.

So many of them.

Killer right now stands in a hallway. staring at a very sassy little grey with brown spots creature. The cat looks completely unimpressed with Killer.

Killer... hadn't tried to pet the cats yet. He had been... unsure...

Killer knows what he did. What he has done to these very creatures. The pain he caused their brothers and sisters before. Killer had the feelign the cats knew too. That they knew he was a terrible person who hurt those like them before.

Killer still really wants to go that direciton though... He has training with nightmare and nightmare and him had finally moved unto to sparing and Killer found it fun. He wanted to get all the time to spar that he could.

Killer stares down at the tiny creature "come on bud... I really need to go that direction."

The little grey and brown spotted cat looks unimpressed at him before rolling unto his back. showing that forbidden tummy.

Killer may never have petted a cat but he knows that is a trap. Killer shakes his skull "Can't do buddy... I know you will attack me."

The cat just does a slow blink at Killer. The picture of perfect innocence as he lays there. His eyes seeming to say 'why won't you pet me? aren't i cute? and don't i look soft?'

Killer slowly crouches down near the cat "I mean it bud. I need to go the direction you are blocking. Can you please move?" his hands slowly nears the cat. his hand is shaking lightly.

The cat makes that little mrp noise as he nuzzles the floor. wiggling in place.

Killer ligthly touches the cats side-

and the cat snaps to grab his hand with his little claws and bites it.

Killer yelps "ow! Hey! No fair!" the cat already let go and stands at the end of the hall. Looking very proud of himself before throtting off.

Killer glares as he jumps up "hey no wait!" he knows the library is there and Killer doesn't want the cat to start clawing stuf in there. the library is nightmare's pride and joy! he rushes after the cat "Hey! come back here!"

It takes amoment but he finds the cat and grins "There you are Bite!"

and amused voice "Bite?"

Killer turns around and Ccino is right by his side. Looking intrigued as he looks between Killer and the cat he had finally managed the corner.

Killer blinks and searches for the words "Yeah... Bite.. because he bites."

Ccino hums as he looks at the cat. He easily walks by Killer's side and killer tries not to shiver when their sides brush adn touch. Ccino crouches down and lets the cat sniff his hand for a moment. Ccino titls his skull as Bite just starts headbutting his hand and arm.

Waht a traitor.

Ccino chuckles as he picks Bite up and Bite purrs loudly and Killer swears the cat is staring at him smuggly

Ccino hums as he pets the cats "Sorry she bit you. cats need to learn not to see hands as toys. I think she thought you were trying to play with her."

Killer blinks "Her?"

Ccino nods "Yeah. Bite is a girl."

Oh gods please don't tell Killer that he officially named one of the cats and the name is BITE.

Killer rubs his hand "You sure it was just playing?"

Ccino nods "should be... did she do damage?" he frowns slightly.

Killer blinks and checks himself. No. no damage. huh. he shakes his skull "Nah. she didn't do damage... aside from emotional damage that is."

Ccino snorts and nods "Tehy are good at that. Well. I will take this little trouble maker in that case. You good luck at your training. Take the path behind the armour stand. It will take you right to the triaing area and you wn't be ridiculous late." and ccino opens his arms to let Bite jump out.

Killer shakes his skull "wait i euh... how come all the cats like you so much? are they yours?" he does remember the direction for later.

Ccino tilts his skull "They aren't mine. tehy are all strays... i guess they just like this place and see it as safe." a bit of a guilty smile "I do feed them however... which isn't helping the cat situation."

Killer snorts "must take a lot of money to pay for." maybe he can help a bit? share the costs?

Ccino shakes his skull wiht a smile "doesn't cost me anything. Ngihtmare just makes sure there are supplies for them in the castle." at the shocked look ccino smiles a bit softer "He knows I like them. So our king makes sure that they cna stay." he pets the feline by his feet "And what can i say? they are amazing pest control."

Killer laughs and nods "I can imagine. So how did you get them all to like you cat whisperer?"

Ccino looks amused but must be in a good mood as he decides to share his wisdom "Getting a cat to like you is easy. You just need to respect their boundaries and learn their language."

Killer fucking knew it! Killer grins "You can talk to them?"

Ccino blinks and looks a bit sheepish "oh no i can't. I meant... their body language. Cats communicate a lot with body language. Learn to read that a bit and you will know what a cat is annoyed or wants to be left alone. Then you respect their limits. if you are calm a cat is more likely to like you. and if you let a cat leave when it wants to they are more likely to return to you."

Killer gives a slow nod. huh..

Ccino nods "Etiher way. you got training that started like five minutes ago. Use the pathway i pointed out. See you around Killer." and he turns and leaves.

He turns the corner and Killer rushes after him to say thank you but- he is gone... Ccino must have used one of those pathways that the servants all use.

Bite is still by his side. she is looking at him with the most unimpressed look that Killer has ever seen on a cat.

Killer huffs and crosses his arms "What? it isn't like you would know how to trat a crush."

Bite clearly disagrees as she licks her paw before rubbing herself against his leg before throtting off. Looking confident and happy.

Killer sighs before jumping. shit his training! He rushes towards the armour stands and finds the servants path easily enough as he rushes towards the training room.

------

Killer is not sure if he even wants to be here.

Here, being, this stupid council get together thing.

Killer isn't even sure what it was. Just that there are a bunch of council members and old nobels. Something soemthing about it still being from Nim's time or something and Nightmare needing to deal with it.

Nightmare had asked if Killer had wanted to be there. Get a better feel for what normal guard duty was. So he could better understand why his duty was so much different.

Killer figured that it would be helpful. He had been here for six months now. a full half year. and while his training to be a Knight was progressing nicely he didn't know why it was special.

Nightmare had asked if he wanted to rotate with the guard for a while. to better understand their positions and jobs so he could see why his was different?

Killer had agreed.

and it was so different. His private room for one. but also the special training. the fact tha tnightmare would speka to him one on one and ask for his opinions and thoughts.

Being a knight... being a knigh was kinda like beign a personal guard and advisor in one go. It was a honour. and Killer jsut kinda.. stumbled into it.

Killer hadn't even been seriously concidering the job for the first three months he had been here! But then he got curious and figured he could stay and watcha bit longer. just a tiny bit couldn't hurt.

ccino walks by his row of guards and each guard quickly grabs some of the tiny snacks he offers. Ccino stops by a guard that doesn't grab one and gives thema look. the guard notices and eats the snack before ccinoe moves on. Killer grins at him as he grabs his snack and he gets agrin in return before ccino rushes of to take care of the other guards.

it also helps that ccino is here.

Killer is still unsure how ccino is just head of the house and not nightmare's main advisor and right hand. ccino is smart and clearly the most loyal of everyone in the kingdom. How could nightmare only let ccino be head of the house? sure it is a big role but killer doens't think it holds enough respect... but maybe that is just him.

Killer watches the nobel man and woman do their thing. he watches as advisors lean clsoe together to mutter and scheme. mmh. killer will have to point that out later to nightmare. make sure he noticed and knows there may be something brewing with those.

Killer still doens't get why Nightmare doesn't just fire them all. He is the king. he can do that. but someting about not wanting people to revolt or something. taking it step by step to clean it all out.

Euh. Not his job. at least not until he is a full knight.

For now he watches for trouble for Nightmare but everything seems fine... So his sight wanders to Ccino as he weaves through the crowds wiht a practise ease.

Killer is always enchanted by Ccino just. moving with ease and confidence. The way he knows how to move and never bump into anyone. How he gracefully dodges any hands or people stepping back.

Killer still watches of course as Ccino makes his way around the crowd. And he is reasonable near Killer, and Nightmare for that matter as Killer is positioned closest to him, when it happens.

Some nobel person Killer doesn't know who he is or why he is important and he doens't care. Reaches out and grabs Ccino right by the spine and rubs it.

Killer feels his hand for a fist as he moves his hand towards where his knife is stashed.

Ccino manages to twist free, which cna't be comfortable with how he was grabbed and manages to make space "Excuse. I didn't realise i was that close."

Killer has his knife in hand.

The nobel man smirks "If it isn't the pretty skeleton! I must say it is refreshing to still see you here! pretty as always." he looks him up and down and Killer gets ready. There isn't a straight line but Killer could be there within seconds.

"One of the better things of Nim! giving you your job for us all to have something pretty to stare at." the man laughs.

Ccino has a iron hold on his own face as he remains calm "The old king's name should not be spoken. As our own king rules now."

the man smirks before frowning "Though you have let yourself go! Already much fatter than before. such a shame and waste of a pretty face. Though I am sure it would still be fun to have a night together. Especially if we invite some of my business partners-"

And Ngihtmare is there. He grabs the nobel man and throws him across the hall into the wall. Killer can hear bones break and crack form his place.

People gasp and move towards his side but Killer isn't paying attention to that. He seems to be the only one who watches their king and ccino.

Nightmare looks beyond furious. His tentacles are all posed and sharp. ready to strike. He lowers himself and it reminds Killer of the big cats. How they get ready to strike.

A hand on Nightmare's shoulder.

Nightmare turns with a glare but meets ccino's unflinching face. Ccino just shakes his skull at Nightmare.

Ngihtmare breathes heavily and killer cna feel the rage in the air. Is he the only one who notices? because he is already getting sensitive to their king?

Nightmare glances back to the man on the ground and ccino shake shis skull agian. He straightens his spine, killer can see the pitch of pain on his face and nightmare clearly does to as his rage just increases. Ccino shoots him another look. He striaghtens his spine and stands still before looking pointedly atnightmare.

Ngihtmare pants but stands up striaght.

Ccino nods and rolls hsi shoudlers before relaxing them both. Killer can see his hand is still slightly shaking but he forms a fist and forces it still.

Nightmare breaths and his shoulders relax and wiht it his tentacles unsharpen.

Ccino raises a hand and waves it by his face. when his face has gone by his face turned from his frown to a neutral face.

Nightmare takes another deep breath but his face calms down.

Ccino nods and takes a few steps back. his arms and hands hidden behind his back but killer can see them shake slightly.

Ngihtmare walks over ot the nobels "As you should know by now. I do not take kindly to those who dare to threaten those who fall under my employment. I employ them in in trade for their service I keep them safe and comfortable. Yet you dare to enter my home, on my invitation, and threaten those around us? Those who work hard to ensure you have a pleasant evening? you will be removed and stripped of your title. Leave." he waves his hand and returns to his throne but on the way he stops by Killer.

Killer stands ready.

Nightmare mutters "Get Ccino to the healer. You are to make sure he gets there safely and gets to his room safely where he can rest." he eyes the knife that killer still has in his hand and looks appreciative of it. before schooling is face again and nodding. Not once mentioning that he saw the weapon which is very much not part of the normal guard equipment.

Killer nods and bows "Of course my king." and he rushes to ccino's side with a cheerful grin. hiding his own rage under easy company.

He will make sure ccino is fine. Then... when killer earned his right as knight and when he is allowed solo trips... he will make a special trip to the nobel.

after all. if he doesn't have hands he can never make a grab to anyone ever again.

-----

Killer sighs as he pets the cat in his lap. eight months. eight months since his life changed twice over. first wiht chara leaving him behind. abandoning him. and then him taking the deal with nightmare.

So muhc had changed. He had changed.

Killer pets the cat sleeping peacefully in his lap. It is still so strange. That he is still here. He hadn't... he never wanted... it hadn't been the plan to stay.

But after a while. Leaving seemed even worse of an idea.

Killer just dind't like the idea of leaving anymore.

Just until he uncovers the secrets.

Just until he satisfies his curiosity.

Just until he is over his crush.

All three misions failed.

But instead of feeling like it is time to cut his losses and move on. Killer just continues to want to stay here.

Killer sighs as he leans agianst the wall.

very soft steps and Killer grins as he looks over. Ccino turns to corner and tilts his skull at him "Well don't you look cozy." he takes a glance and smiles "I see Bite finally stopped attacking your hand every second."

Killer snorts "nah." he raises his bites covered hand "She just got tired." and he goes back to petting her.

Ccino nods as he walks over "How is your training doing?"

Killer nods "good." and that is the problem. because it is going well. Nightmare told him as much. Killer would soon have his first mission and he is worried.

What if he can't do it?

what if he can do it but doens't want to?

what is he can do it. does it. but dind't want to do it?

is the loyalty he feels... for nightmare? or for the idea that he has to be loyal.

He isn't sure.

Ccino nods "that is good." he tilts his skull at him "excited to be a full knight?"

Killer is feeling ballsy today. reckless even. Killer grins at ccino "What if i don't want to be a knight?"

Ccino doens't flinch and instead tilts his skull "I mean... you would ahve spend a long time training for soemthing you didn't want... so i figured you would have realised earlier."

Killer shrugs "waht if i did? but ust wanted more training?"

Ccino looks a thim and shrugs "I don't believe that. I think you want to be a knight."

Killer glares "And what makes you think that?"

Ccino smiles atiny bit "emotions and intent. If you hadn't wanted it. you wouldn't have tried so hard and made progress this quickly."

Killer blinks and looks forwards "What if i just believed it is what i wanted?"

Ccino shrugs "They yuo have to make a carreer switch."

Killer snorts "Oh yeah. Nightmare is going to be fine with that." he rolls his eyes.

Ccino lokos amused "Yes out king." he stresses the title "Will be fine wiht that."

Killer shoots him a look "oh come on! I knew there is more going on over him just being your king and you just being a loyal servant."

Ccino looks forwards wiht a tiny smile "I have no idea what you are talking about. Only those most trusted by the king would know personal affairs of the king." and he grins.

Killer looks amused "Okay. what if i just become knight to learn all the secrets. and then when i am saticfied i will just leave." he knows he is looking at him smugly.

Ccino tilts his skull amused "Relaly now? When you figure out all the secrets?"

Killer nods "indeed."

Ccino laughs "good luck with that." and he starts walking away.

Killer tilts his skull at him "What is that suposed to mean?!"

Ccino stops and glances backwards "You are a smart cookie. you will figure it out." and he turns around the corner.

At this point Killer knows better than to try and follow ccino. He will be gone before Killer can even get to the corner. probbaly on the other side of the castle already.

Killer keeps forgetting to ask him how he does it.

....

euh.

He will eventually ask him... Maybe...

after all...

He will only leave once he learns all the secrets...

So maybe keeping one or two in tact is a great idea...

You know...

Just because he is curious. And no other reason at all.

[megumi-fm]

.

[twpsyn-who]

Talking a little bit about 'boycotting Eurovision' under Keep Reading, feel free to scroll down if is not what you want to see.

The most used argument on the matter of banning Israel from Eurovision is the fact that Russia got banned from Eurovision, which is the worst argument anyone could bring.

Kindly reminder that Russia didn't get banned because of the war with Ukraine. Russia got banned because many countries has threatened to withdraw from the competition. Sadly, that's a big difference.

Yes, the countries has threatened to withdraw because they support Ukraine and see Russia as the party in the wrong. That was their reason. EBU's reason for banning Russian was because those countries threatened to withdraw, not because the war was bad and Russia must be stopped.

This situation isn't the same. Why? Because many countries support Israel in their genocide. Because this time around Palestine is the party in the wrong. Because we're taught to believe that Israel isn't in the wrong here.**

Boycotting Eurovision won't work. There are people out there who don't know the truth and want to watch Eurovision. There are people out there who don't care and will watch Eurovision regardless of the situation. There are people out there who, despite having the facts, still don't see Israel as the bad guy in this situation and will watch Eurovision. Sadly, boycotting won't work unless everyone does it.

The only way Israel will get banned, in my opinion, is by going through the same thing as Russia. If other countries threatened to withdraw- and not any countries, but the ones investing the most in Eurovision, then yes. That will get Israel banned.

Otherwise? The only thing we do is hurt artists that don't deserve it. Artists who use Eurovision as a way to get more exposure and experience. Artists who deserve to be heard.

Don't vote for Israel's entry. Don't stream their song either. Heck, turn off the TV when is their turn to perform.

**This whole situation (the war, not Eurovision) isn't only black and white. Civilians die daily because of this, all of them from both sides. Innocent people who has no fault. Let's not forget that

[mymp3]

I had a lot of the same issues with reload as I see you’re having, and I do think most of it is from the new team’s inexperience. They’re trying to recreate a game that made very purposeful decisions in its mechanics and cutscenes without understanding why those decisions were made, which really undermines the experience.

If the team had more experience under their belt, or had full creative decision on an entirely new game, I feel like they could make a really good game! Reload is not that though.

I completely agree anon. It's a shame too, because it's not an awful game, just a different one. I wish they hadn't tried to recreate FES as a test project on a shoestring budget when it was literally the benchmark for our modern Persona games. It changed so much, it's iconic, a cult classic.

I really wish they wouldn't have lied about not planning EpiAi beforehand so they could cover the fact that the game doesn't look all too good. I wish they hadn't charged $200 for an "Aigis Edition" and not include the dlc. I wish they hadn't sanitized and scrubbed the game about death and grieving of all things that were slightly upsetting. That's what ended up happening though, and as you said, they're trying to recreate a game that was very purposeful in its creation.

Reload was a cheap quick test that they knew would work because it has a wonderful story and dedicated fans. As long as they make it a fun popcorn game, they don't have to put in those purposeful additions or think about it much at all.

[fragglerockopinions]

The worst thing about suffering is that it still hurts when the danger is over but no one cares about it anymore because it shouldn't hurt. No one will ever say "I'm sorry that happened to you" especially when they barely say "I'm sorry that's happening."