#it's you being considered a tamed queer by them

[scourgebrother]

hate hate hate to get reminded that cishets are not to be trusted unless explicitly proven otherwise

[valyrfia]

no actually ur so right. as someone who have been in primarily mlm fandom spaces as an afab person the rampant feminization that goes on with charles especially is crazy. ive been pretty public on my dislike of this characterization if charles because of like exactly what you said (which is excluding my own experience being feminized and treated poorly because of my more masculine gender expression). it makes me pretty uncomfortable to see this in specifically fandom spaces and incredibly uncomfortable so see outside if those places.

just to add, im not against feminization (i actually enjoy it a lot when its like niche kink stuff) but the way it is in formula 1 rpf is unlike anything else ive seen in other fandoms.

I agree, it is CRAZY to see how this has somehow become the default characterisation. I agree with your not being against feminisation as an entire concept and when done well it's fun but rather just....why does it seem to be the default? It's bizarre. On a note that I'm sure is entirely unrelated, someone pointed out to me the other day that (although a small valiant group of us are trying to change it) F/M genderbend is far more common than F/F genderbend in F1 RPF....I'm just going to leave that stat there and you can make your own conclusions but considering I got this anon when I posted only F/F Lestappen stuff for a couple of days like two months ago....

Yeah, it's a little disheartening and is part of the reason why I think I'm so anti the feminisation of Charles as a default characterisation. Fanfiction can be whatever you want it to be, but it has always been a queer space but I've seen it time and time again that when a queer ship becomes popular, people are more desperate to consume it within a hetnorm structure. I haven't just seen it with F1 RPF, there's been a big rise of this over the past half a decade or so which I think is due to the consumption of mlm content becoming widely accepted amongst gen z, but in a way that almost straightwashes queer relationships. I remember when RWRB came out and I watched it when I was home for a bit in the summer with a group of girls I knew from high school as part of an effort to be social, and it was so bizarre. Not only did I witness first hand them obsessively rewinding to watch the kiss and the sex scenes, while exclaiming "that's so hot", but they were obsessed with trying to guess which of them would top and which of them would bottom, and for me most damningly, I made a throwaway comment about Uma Thurman in a suit being very hot (tame compared to what they were saying) and I was met with silence and weird sideways looks or a retort of "Alex in a suit is so hot!". It was a little bit of a humbling experience, to see them root for LGBT acceptance for the hot characters on the screen but be blatantly uncomfortable by actual queer expression in their presence.

I'll be honest I've experienced similar things when I talk about F1, and I think that that's because F1 as a fandom space has really exploded in growth in the past couple of years and thus the newer mlm ships within it, especially the popular ones like Carlando and Lestappen, have been subject to this straightwashing more strongly than other older fandom spaces.

As you said I have zero issue with it when it's a conscious choice on the behalf of the creator, but when it becomes the 'norm' within fanon and people complain when roles are reversed, well, it really rubs me the wrong way. I'm interested to hear your continued thoughts if you have them!

[ohdorothea]

If you’d like to send in interpretations or propaganda for a specific song you can send them to my inbox! All interpretations are welcome and let’s be open and kind in response to all interpretations <3

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info and lyrics for the songs under the cut!

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes

🫶🫶🫶

...Ready For It? lyrics

Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him

Wondered how many girls he had loved and left haunted

But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom

Holdin' him for ransom, some

Some boys are tryin' too hard, he don't try at all though

Younger than my exes, but he act like such a man, so

I see nothing better, I keep him forever

Like a vendetta-ta

I, I, I see how this is gon' go

Touch me and you'll never be alone

I-Island breeze and lights down low

No one has to know

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

You should see the things we do, baby

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

I know I'm gonna be with you, so I take my time

Are you ready for it?

Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me

Stealing hearts and running off and never sayin' sorry

But if I'm a thief, then he can join the heist, and

We'll move to an island, and

And he can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor

Every love I've known in comparison is a failure

I forget their names now, I'm so very tame now

Never be the same now, now

I, I, I see how this is gon' go

Touch me and you'll never be alone

I-Island breeze and lights down low

No one has to know (No one has to know)

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

You should see the things we do, baby

In the middle of the night in my dreams

I know I'm gonna be with you, so I take my time

Are you ready for it?

Oh, are you ready for it?

Baby, let the games begin

Let the games begin

Let the games begin

Baby, let the games begin

Let the games begin

Let the games begin

I, I, I see how this is gon' go

Touch me and you'll never be alone

I-Island breeze and lights down low

No one has to know

In the middle of the night (Night), in my dreams (My dreams)

You should see the things we do (We do), baby (Baby), hmm (Eh)

In the middle of the night, in my dreams (My dreams)

I know I'm gonna be with you (I know I'm gonna be with you)

So I take my time

In the middle of the night

Baby, let the games begin

Let the games begin

Let the games begin

Are you ready for it?

Baby, let the games begin

Let the games begin

Let the games begin

Are you ready for it?

🫶🫶🫶

Dress lyrics

Our secret moments in a crowded room

They got no idea about me and you

There is an indentation in the shape of you

Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo

All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you

Ha, ah, ah

All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this

Ah, ha, ha, ha-ah

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it oh, ha, ha, ha-ah

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it oh, ha, ha, ha-ah

Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try

And if I get burned, at least we were electrified

I'm spilling wine in the bathtub

You kiss my face and we're both drunk

Everyone thinks that they know us

But they know nothing about—

All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you

Ha, ah, ah

All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this

Ah, ha, ha, ha-ah

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it oh, ha, ha, ha-ah

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it oh, ha, ha

Ha-ah-ah, ha-ah-ah, ha-ah-ah-ah

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Ha-ah-ah, ha-ah-ah, ha-ah-ah-ah

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Flashback when you met me

Your buzzcut and my hair bleached

Even in my worst times, you could see the best in me

Flashback to my mistakes

My rebounds, my earthquakes

Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My hands shake, I can't explain this

Ah, ha, ha, ha-ah

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it oh, ha, ha, ha-ah

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it oh, ha, ha, ha-ah

There is an indentation in the shape of you

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

You made your mark on me, golden tattoo

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

[ssaalexblake]

the thing about cm is that the writers have always been totally upfront about there never being an inter-team romance played out on the show, that's not what it's about and that was the score and remains it. What Other show that's been on air as long hasn't had a will they/won't they? lasting for like 8 years before they finally do it? Or had a pair have a very ill advised affair? or any number of other combos.

CM is different to that by design, not by accident.

(that they had luke and garcia flirt all the time with nothing to show for it, and then when they thought they'd been cancelled they had them agree to a date in the last 5 minutes of the show is Telling. That they tanked it in the very next episode 2 years later that they never thought would exist is More telling.)

teasing moments between characters is not promising you that they're gonna suddenly have an ooc gay affair, and while i'm going to assume what's happening here is that they've not mentioned the No Romance rule for a while not realising that their audience is not all the same one they Used to have back on CBS, they really have made the score clear multiple times in the past.

If you're waiting for JJ to divorce herself from her own personality and suddenly decide to have a steamy gay affair with Emily you're going to be waiting a Long Time. And this is Really obvious and doesn't really even need stating, to be frank.

I've seen some Wild shit coming from the fandom, like somebody saying with their whole chest that the only reason jj ended up with will was because of aj's pregnancy (that part is true) but devolved into 'what universe are You from' territory when they claimed that otherwise they were going to do a shippy story with jj and emily. And even Aside from the whole No Team Romance rule, you are Aware this was in like 2007 right??? I know you're all young and all but in 2007 every gay thing in a tv show was a Groundbreaking Moment in television history still. Stuff you slam for being tame representation that's not good enough for you was ground-breaking rep in the mid 2010's!! This was 2007. CM barely acknowledged that gay people existed for an entire 15 seasons.

That their first episode on paramount made one of the leads queer is actually kind of funny in that regard, and Incredibly telling in general. It was Never the writers who were against that (in fact, a number of them in the cbs years were gay themselves) but got forbidden to go there by the network.

For the record, other topics that were considered unpalatable by the network and not to be used in stories very often were things like cannibalism and a variety of other disturbing things you can do to people. So gayness was ranked with them. Charming. (there used to be webchats with writers after episodes aired, and you learnt some Shit in those, let me tell you).

Anyway, i digress, they're not going to go there and have been honest about it. Whatever ship 'there' is is sitting somewhere at Snowball's chance in hell, and while i'd sell maybe a rib for tara and emily to be canon, i'm more than aware it'd be a waste of a rib. At Most i think maybe they'll do another 11th hour thing with luke and garcia when they eventually get cancelled again.

Because the same show runner is still in place. There's not been a change of management. Maybe If they'd got a new person in, but they haven't.

[verdemoun]

Do they get a reminder that their world now still isn’t completely safe and accepting of them? Like, it’s safer and more accepting, but not completely.

me: hey guys i have this super fun idea for a modern au where the gang have memories canon events and slowly become ooc through healing y'all: when do they die. how to they deal with trauma. what was hosea's funeral like. do they get hate crimed

of course they do. modern era is modern era. things have changed. some for the better, some for the absolute worse.

bessie has to give the girls a lecture that the danger that men pose to women has not changed. they shouldn't be walking home alone at night. vaccines might have reduced the number of women killed by disease but just made it more obvious how explicitly men were a risk to women.

the girlies didn't believe it until karen and jenny, having had a great but surprisingly tame night at the bar, noticed a guy walking behind them as they made their way home. the guy proceeded to lurk outside the house despite lenny and sean having both made their presences known. it wasn't until arthur turned up, hunting bow in hand ready, that the guy sprinted off into the dark

kieran actually did have a job for a brief period of time! the stable where bessie took him horseriding informally hired him as a groom, cash in hand for weekends whenever he felt like working, only to change hands and the new owner very aggressively tell him to fuck off because why would they pay a (multiple ableist and homophobic slurs) to do basic chores

not only was kieran distraught to lose his only regular contact with horses, but how upsetting it actual moment was: to be excited for work only to find out about the new management by said new management screaming at him, heckling him with all the same abusive mannerisms of the o'driscolls. it took weeks for him to leave the house afterwards

homophobia is still very much a thing. on one hand the gang are used to 19th century murdered for being queer homophobia, on the other homophobia is fucking loud. it is organized and it is everywhere, especially whenever elections were coming up.

arthur considers himself lucky he just deals with generic homophobia. sure he gets women promising to turn him straight, and he accidentally brutally declares 'ma'am i do in fact like women and men but i'm sure no matter what you were i wouldn't think you were worth pissing on'

the religious rooted homophobia? that hits sean hard. he considers himself catholic, not a very good catholic but a catholic none the less, and when religious groups preach hate and sin it effects him. surely being an outlaw condemned his soul enough. sometimes he needs that extra support from the gang that whatever god there is wouldn't actually hate him for finding happiness with lenny

bill internalizes everything. he comes so far in being comfortable and able to accept himself only to be knocked back by homophobic media and protest and suddenly want to hide again. the tension wrestling with the fact being out and meeting other gay people makes him profoundly happy and then how much he already hates himself only to (re)discover in modern era that people still think he should hate himself for being gay

but absolutely none of them would argue lenny doesn't have it the worst. lenny deals with a) homophobia and racism in his workplace as a university lecturer surrounded by old money conservative white men b) racism within the queer community, forced to swallow that 19th century urge to end an argument with a gun when someone says something that is explicit fetishization that becomes explicit racism when he says no c) being a black man in modern america.

lenny is not shy about the fact he misses the fact in 19th century he could shoot a man that was pissing him off, escape like he did in strawberry, and keep riding until he found somewhere safe. for lenny, modern era doesn't feel safer like it does for the rest of the gang, just a different kind of dangerous.

even after a decade in timewarp, lenny is still shocked by how deep racism runs. one of the worst days of his life, in either era, was a day he had to pick up maeve from school. he was listed as the second emergency contact if sean wasn't available. he was listed as sean's partner. the school knew sean was in a same sex relationship and were supportive. but lenny, a black man, turning up asking to pick up maeve, who was sick, who saw him and called out for him dad, when lenny had all his id on him that matched perfectly with the information that was provided to the school - they still called the cops

and the cops turned up, and maybe it was spectacularly shit cops but they drew their guns on lenny, an unarmed black man, trying to pick up his daughter from school. it was only that karen, who previously thought she wouldn't be able to get there, turned up and said 'that is maeve's father what the fuck are you doing'

maeve didn't understand why she had to change school and threw a mighty tantrum until she was assured abigail jr would be changing school as well after the incident. the next school were almost uncomfortable with how clear sean was in saying my partner is a black man but understood having heard about the incident, and were very supportive

lenny still feels uncomfortable going to school events despite how much he adores seeing maeve at school, participating and trying her best and getting the opportunity to be more than any of them got to be in 19th century. he is both paranoid but knows he is not being paranoid people are watching him out the corner of their eyes just for being a black man

[mistress-of-vos]

Once again got all intense about how annoying Ra'sTim haters are. I'm remembering that time on Twitter not long ago when they were calling Ra'sTim i*cest... Yeah I know, Twitter is hell, but come on! 😭

I think it's particularly funny because Ra's is a man who reduces his family to his blood ties and even then he is picky. He *will* disown his children (not hurt them! Do not confuse it!) if he considers he has been betrayed so the proposition that he would see Tim as family... And that Tim would see Ra's as family! It's just so funny to me. Tell me you don't read comics without telling me you don't read comics.

I believe Tim and Ra's (before properly interacting) used to see each other as villain and hero. Period. Tim studies Batman's villains and cases so for him Ra's is synonym of bad guy, extremely dangerous, probably best if avoided. Ra's keeps an eye in all the bats, so Tim (still Robin) is a threat too: awfully loyal to the Batman, highly trained, more likely will provoke lots of damage and won't die. And that's mostly it, until Ra's is forced to meet the bats more frequently due to Damian going to live with Bruce. Ra's is more aware of Tim's abilities, and Tim is more aware of the danger Ra's represents, which I think explains why their meetings go as they do.

I don't think Ra's labels Tim as Damian's brother, but he might label Tim as Bruce's son. Which doesn't mean that makes Ra's *feel* like he's related to Tim, and similarly, Tim labels Ra's as Damian's grandfather, but nothing to him. There's no familiar tie between them, nor is their dynamic close to that, so I do wonder why people look at Ra's saying he wants a heir with Tim's blood and think that's familiar and not low-key homoerotic.

I get it if people dislike Ra'sTim due to the "dark" elements (tho I consider them very tame if compared to ships as Hannigram for example) but there's nothing on them that makes it "i*cest" so I do get mad when people accuse them of so. Particularly when it's the fans of certain Ra's' child and her ship who do so, as if Ra'sTim fandom doesn't actually treat her better than gen fans. Hell, Ra'sTim fics always lean in portraying her nicely, erasing the awkward comic canon and allowing her to have her classical bond with Damian. I have even seen certain tendency to ship her with Bruce (tho yes I admit most fandom goes with BatCat, myself included). So the fact that they have this need of hating Ra'sTim is annoying, because Ra'sTim is NOT the fandom treating their fav poorly nor doing anything wrong.

It's awful that we aren't allowed to like Ra's as his own character, that we aren't allowed to speak freely of the interesting elements of shipping him with MEN. Exploring a queer, individual Ra's al Ghul has taught me a lot about storytelling. Exploring an scenario where he falls in love with someone who contrasts with him the way Tim does has made me realize that fanfiction can be more than "I disliked the ending" and that you can write your own opinions on characters that sometimes other people share. It has been amazing and I adore it.

So what I'm trying to say is... People should stop being these loud, violent haters. There's no need for this. Why can't people let others enjoy themselves?

[castlebyersafterdark]

"I'd love to read more breakdowns on the details as to as to what people who really love omegaverse specifically love about it"

Ok sure! I cannot speak for everyone who likes omegaverse stuff but I'm happy to talk about what I like about it.

Obviously it's a really really broad genre with a lot of different aspects, and not every aspect is gonna appeal to every reader, but I think that's honestly really cool! Like I personally am not super into the breeding/pregnancy aspect, but I can definitely see the appeal of it for people who want to play around with gender (or people who are just into breeding, live and let live!).

What I DO really like about omegaverse fics is the way a lot of the build up/sexual tension (at least in the ones I've read) is very much about how the character's desire and arousal is so intense that it eventually becomes impossible to control. I can see how this might be a turn off for a lot people, as it can get into dubious consent territory, but the way I look at it (and I'm gonna get a lil heavy here) is like: for a lot women & queer people, we're taught that our sexuality and desires are wrong, right? So you feel shameful about having sexual desire (even tho it's totally normal). So there's something kinda liberating about giving up control of those desires and letting them overtake you, in way that it's kinda not your fault if that makes sense? To me, it's very much the same kinda thing as like, bodice ripper romance novels where women aren't "allowed" to indulge in their sexual desires even though they want to.

So that's the main thing. Other stuff I like, and this is gonna sound super nerdy, but I honestly love the world building of a lot of omegaverse fics? Like, some stories are just in a world exactly like ours except people have an A/B/O category, and those are fine, but other stories really explore how the world would be different if people were like that in lots of cool ways. I'm a nerd, I want my porn to have lore!

And to address the anon's point, I also don't really see how it's beastiality. Like sure, animalistic is not an unfair adjective, but people are animals? And just because omegaverse erotica embraces a more primal view of sex doesn't make it anywhere near beastiality. Like, omegaverse is honestly so tame compared to like, monster fucking (and once again that's not shade! Live and let live!).

Thank you for the perspective!! Love reading about this stuff and getting insight to fandom topics like this.

The TENSION and intensity of arousal is what's the appealing aspect to me, since some of the other coinciding kinks are not it for me, but I can get past those for a general interest in seeing what's being portrayed if the writing's good. It's a fantasy - obviously a lot of the stuff portrayed would probably not be so fantastic in reality, but it's not reality. It's almost like, magical realism? Fantasy genre for sure, omegaverse. Which is an interesting concept to consider. And yeah!!!! I totally see what you're saying with the societal view of certain demographic's sexuality and expressing it. That's kind of what I like with fanfic myself, getting to tap into intimacy and sex that isn't really portrayed in media for gay men, especially guys like myself who lean kinda more hmmm sensitive and heavily into romance in media type? It's just not as common a thing, this really intricate and detailed exploration. So I've found that outlet through fanfic.

So, in the interest of an expression of all consuming arousal and passion and raw sexual indulgence, it's all there with omegaverse. It's filling a niche that certain people really want, but you're not going to find in mainstream media. And the other part I appreciate about the trope is the lore! I find the fact that this trope has to have at least a little world building, is so fascinating.

I guess the things that are limits for me and I just breeze past are the pregnancy things. It's not a gripe, and I love that there's an interesting outlet for those who are into the literal breeding aspect, I don't down on what people are into. But that's not for me, but it's also not what I'm reading it for! It's the intensity and the world building as discussed above haha. I guess also the way that sex physically happens isn't really like, super hot to me but I can def see it conceptually being so? I'll skip the the details since it's not important because the fics aren't for me, I'm just there for entertainment really hahaha. I think something to keep in mind is not everything needs to appeal to every person!! Live and let live for sure!! And I guess it's just funny to me comparing it to bestiality or anything actually animalistic because everything I've read all characters seem very human completely, it's all instinct and emotion and biology changes, not species. I have a few acquaintances who are into furry fandom and hmm. That's very blatant. Not for me either, and if omegaverse is too animalistic... stay back haha. But again, it's not judgement. I love fandom and the internet because with a little effort - you find your people, you find your fandom. There's something for everyone because if there's one thing people are gonna be, it's the duality of horniness and creativity. Live and let live!!

[spock-smokes-weed]

Re: worrying about manga/anime Sanji, here's my thoughts on Sanji as a longtime Sanji-liker:

Sanji has some of the highest highs and lowest lows in all of One Piece. His status as a romantic, a dreamer, and a gentlemen are all great, and he also has further hidden depths that haven't been touched on yet where you are, and some moments he gets in certain story arcs are big highlights of those arcs. The simplicity of his design and fighting style also make it so that Oda gets to draw him looking really really cool.

The perv stuff unfortunately absolutely overshadows that at times. Sanji hits his absolute nadir near the middle of the story and it takes a good long while for him to climb out of it. Instances of actual reprehensible behavior are rare enough that I can count them on one hand, which considering theres >1000 chapters isn't the worst batting average compared to some Jump manga, but their rarity can make it even more annoying when they actually happen. By my recollection Sanji's worst moments include one case of breast groping (while body-swapped), two cases of peeping, and one extremely annoying, too-long transphobia joke (Oda's own track record of writing explicitly queer characters is spotty and IMO trends toward the positive, but god damn that sequence sucks).

tl;dr Sanji's a big mixed bag but comparatively tame compared to a lot of perv characters and has enough good points that i can call myself a Sanji fan with only minimal embarassment. Hopefully you'll be able to do the same. Glad to see you checking out One Piece and I hope you enjoy it!

That's such a relief honestly.

I was so utterly charmed by Taz Skylar's Sanji and Sanji being a dreamer and a caretaker really endeared me to him. I also LOVE his fighting style so once I finished I knew he was my fave straw hat. Buuuut then I learned about his whole *thing* with women and got disheartened cus it really is one of the worst tropes in anime.

However, as an anime fan I have come to terms with the fact that there will always be a certain level of Anime Bullshit in any anime I like, so if Sanji is tame compared to other Jump characters he shares the trope with I will take it.

I read all of Naruto and clawed my way through Jiraiya. If Sanji is not nearly as bad as him I can deal with it.

[ina-nis]

If AvPD were to be considered a disability, what kind of accomodations and considerations (both reasonable and unreasonable) would you like to see societally and interpersonally?

I don't know about others but for me, AvPD is a disability. It's a chronic, invisible disorder that impairs my ability to exist around others and interact with people, causing extreme distress as a result.

The short answer is: going beyond "awareness" and mental wellness campaigns, giving people resources (money, housing, etc), giving people spaces to be and encouraging them to socialize, treatment with focus on social wellness and not only for one to be fit for working, a complete change in the employment issue (utopian and unlikely but I don't really see another way out), safe and accessible mental health spaces in school/college/university/etc all year long, fighting systemic and socio-cultural ableism (people with personality disorders are not evil, many consider themselves ill and need help, not isolation or ostracism).

The long answer hopefully won't be too long, bear with me:

Looking at my own situation, I think it would be great if I didn't have to fight and stress myself out to get (and stay) on government benefits/welfare because I would like to not starve or be homeless - I know, depending on where you are, there's no such thing so I count myself as "lucky".

Most if not all school and/or employment programs are aimed towards neurotypical people (and it's even harder to get specific services if you're queer, immigrant, Black, etc). Employment is a special kind of torment for an avoidant to go through, the job seeking process, the anxiety of waiting for call backs, emails and interviews is unmatched and, at least to me, it's a trigger for suicidal ideation.

I don't really have or see a solution out of this specific issue. Employment is difficult for everyone, it is a competition and there will be a winner and a loser. You can guess who the "loser" will be between someone without X someone with AvPD.

I really wish the focus of treatment wouldn't be so much on "being fit to function in society" because that almost always mean getting a job - I have lost count of how many avoidants I've seen working dead end jobs and being trapped, extremely unhappy, on the top of dealing with a Personality Disorder, because they don't have any other option.

About schools... well, also talking from experience, they served more to try to fit people into boxes to be tame and good workers, and less to learn how to be humans and do things that don't involve... working 9-5, 40+ hours a week.

Depending on which school you're attending to, mental health services will be nonexistent or of really poor quality (that's almost a given considering how bullying is widespread). More than bringing awareness for mental health, depression, anxiety, burnout... there should be programs in place throughout the school year in which students would be able to access, and very importantly, giving them some sort of anonymity (if they so desire) and a safe space for them to come forward and speak without getting their family involved (again, if they so desire).

I guess the same applies for post secondary education too. It would be extremely valuable if students had access to resources and spaces that deal with mental health, with professionals at a low cost or for free.

Socially, I believe for as long as we're living in a world where Personality Disorders are demonized, where things such as "narcissistic abuse" is not only very common (even between mental health professionals) but also a acceptable concept, we won't have much progress regarding the treatment of AvPD and PDs in general.

So many characteristics of people with AvPD are considered social red flags, so much of that "self-fulfilling prophecy" is how about social isolation fosters more social exclusion, and social exclusion fosters more isolation - where one is left to fend for themselves and fix the problem that is social in nature, on their own. It doesn't make any sense.

Mental health treatments are not cheap nor accessible, so there's also that. Definitely something that would need change ASAP. They also focus too much on individual faults, behaviours and cognition, when, yes these can contribute to the problem, they're not the whole picture.

There's need for more specific research, and more professionals to be actually interested in investing time and money into this disorder, to see what lies beyond Social Anxiety, and so on.

There's need for resources, both financial and social, so that people can pick up and try to re-start or re-build (or start and build) their lives at any point. And spaces in which people can co-exist and be encouraged to socialize.

I've heard it so, so many times, and it's so exhausting... yes, getting new hobbies is a good way to cope, even more if they're social hobbies. But I don't think I have enough motivation to pick a social hobby when my solitary ones serve me just as well. I believe that's probably the case for a lot of other avoidants, too. So how can one make social hobbies, and social spaces more welcoming for people with AvPD? That's a very good question.

I cannot stress this enough: AvPD is a disorder of social issues, not only individual. Treating a person without looking what goes beyond the person is bound to be a failure. When you go past anxiety, when you go past the social skills issues, when you go past the self-imposed isolation, supposedly, lies success. But if anything, I'm the living proof that there's need to be more than... me, for things to work and to be maintained.

[2offayyo-kzt]

Why I think the Jersey Devil in the Pine Barrens episode (4x07) might symbolizes homophobia :

(that's some bullshit theory, don't take it too srs)

tw : self-hatred, homophobia

The Jersey Devil (JD) is mentioned for the first time when a drunken Sean tries to tell a spooky story :

"Then tye other two guys, they hear this screech in the woods. And they hightail it out of there, but they never found the third guy... because you know who got him ?" - The Jersey Devil

Now let's consider that the JD is an allegory for homophobia :

Baby Colin doesn't believe it and asks him to explain what the JD looks like (Baby Colin has been around queer people since he was an infant, so it's normal that he doubts the existence of homophobia)

Sean described the monster very precisely, especially its private parts.

"And he's got hooves and horns, and two low-hanging balls with a button cock on top."

It would not be surprising if Sean was exposed to a homophobic environment for a long time, whether it was his upbringing with his father or the fact he went to a private school.

The next shot is Laszlo and Nandor explaining that the Jersey Devil doesn't exist and that it's simply a myth created by vampires to explain the corpses in the woods.

They are both convinced that it doesn't exist (even though they live in a supernatural world with werewolves, ghosts etc...)

As Nadja says at the end of the episode "Who isn't gay ?", which could indicate that vampires nowadays think that homophobia doesn't exist anymore (or not so present)

It's interesting to note that the Pine Barrens episode is also the episode where Guillermo made is coming out.

Later, Sean points out "There's just something special about 'guy time', yk?"

And trust me, it's not his first statement with homoerotic subtones 👀

The next time the Jersey Devil is mentioned is when Baby Colin left the cabin because he heard strange noises in the forest.

The vampires join him shortly after.

We hear Sean yell "Help!" and we deduce the Jersey Devil looked for him in his room and now is pulling him out with a firm grip on his leg.

The most interesting thing is that Sean then just yells "Kill me and get it over with!" instead of "Help me"

I'm sure Sean suffers from internalized homophobia (headcanon), when it's about other people he has no problem supporting them and is ready to defend them, but when it concerns him directly (being gay) he does not assume.

This self-hatred is killing him slowly, which could explain why his marriage became disastrous and his various addictions (alcohol & gambling)

So he wishes he could die ('kill me') and hopes someone could get rid of it ('and get it over with')

Then Laszlo tames the Jersey Devil (homophobia), the same way that he had to after his transformation into a vampire, he was now able to fully assume his sexuality (because in England at the time, homosexuality was perceived as a disease, a sin etc...)

Sean then, wishing to help his friends to beat this monster, exclaims "I'm gonna get my shotty !"

Nandor and Laszlo with great difficulty and the support of Colin manages to defeat the Jersey Devil.

And Sean on his side, arrived with his gun and shot himself in the foot.

Which could be a metaphor, of instead trying to help others to defeat their demons, deal with your own demons first and foremost (internalized homophobia)

So just as Nandor and Laszlo saved Sean's marriage by making him forget all his toxic masculinity (through hypnosis), in this episode they helped him save himself from his own demon.

Also it's interesting to note that Sean, while he was supposed to be having a good time with his friends, he just went on a binge drinking spree, more than 15 cans of beer in one evening.

The alcohol probably helps him forget, but fortunately he is well surrounded and I hope that we will obtain a bisexual coming out of Seanie on TV.

This is just my personal interpretation ''

[autistic-katara]

Can you explain the not 100% an anti? I’m not 100% either I just think peoples opinions on the subject are interesting :)

i’m seeing this just as i woke up so idk if i’ll be able to explain it well but basically i’m not rlly a proshipper like there’s nothing proshippy i ship and when i see stuff like incest or pedophilia being shipped i get weirded out but also i understand why there needs to be a place where u can post that kinda content (eg. ao3) since sure that stuff might be gross and “problematic” but things like non-proshippy nsfw content is often labelled like that and in the past (and even in some ways and places today) queerness is labelled like that so having somewhere that’s open and available to “problematic content” also means it’s open and available to things like smut and queer stuff (and also the kinda angst i like might be considered “problematic” by some particularly offended karens or tory party leaders or whatever given that it often involves graphic depictions of mental health issues (don’t judge it’s what i do instead of seeking professional help. also i just like it) and yk id like a place where i can read and post that kinda stuff) and yeah also im very much anti-harassment due to the shitstorm that went down in the Jackson’s Diary fandom over what was it again? oh yeah consensual smut between an 18yo and his canon, unrelated to him, 17yo boyfriend that was written by someone younger than both of them and explicitly as smut between those 2 (i mean it wasnt like i was pro-harassment before or anything, i just didn’t exactly care all that much, but seeing all that happen over something as tame as that was rlly a wake up call for me that yeah, these people are insane, very much not the super moral people in the right they claim to be and i do not wanna be associated with them. like at all) and yeah idk hope that explained it well enough. like i said i just woke up and yeah not sure if i mentioned everything but hope this suffices as an explanation for everything :>

[filmsbyher]

To Be Tamed or Not To Be Tamed?

That is the question.

"Masculine and feminine roles are not biologically fixed but socially constructed."

In the 90s and early 2000s, Hollywood offered a counteract to the previous oppression of women and girls in cinema through the emergence of teen literary adaptations of classic novels and plays. These adaptations dismantled what audiences expected of a classic novel or Shakespearean film. Two films I believe stand out are: 10 Things I Hate About You and She’s The Man. 10 Things I Hate About You is an adaptation of one of Shakespeare’s earliest plays “Taming of the Screw” concerned with gender roles and the institution of marriage and She’s The Man follows the narrative of his tragic-comedy “Twelfth Night”, that incorporates androgyny, sexual ambiguity and gender confusion.

10 Things I Hate About You follows the story of two polarising sisters Kat and Bianca Stratford. Kat performs the role of the “shrew” - non-conformist, not afraid to express her opinions (which are compared to “acts of terrorism”), and independent. Whereas Bianca conforms to traditional gender roles this is displayed through the mise-en-scene: her room has lots of accents of pink and flowers, decorated with stuffed animals and dolls creating a certain archetype. Her interests also lie hegemonically in line with her gender - fashion, boys and dating - which are considered mainstream ideals of becoming popular in high school. Bianca is a clear example of the ideals of the Beauty Myth - blonde, slender, and daintily featured - and as a result, she is loved for adhering to its demands. Their father Walter Stratford acts as a vehicle for the concept that things are learnt through different environments, and parents have a distinct influence on gender and how people discover their identity. He does this by developing a rule that Bianca can only date if Kat does too - functioning as a symbol of patriarchal power and influence. 10 things offers a different kind of teen rom-com heroine: Kat’s punk, individualistic outlook, sarcastic tone, will to speak her mind, and sheer fearlessness in challenging the structures around her, embodies the spirit of third-wave feminism of the mid-90s. By making Kat and not the amiable Bianca the main protagonist, the story makes the feminist “shrew” aspirational - who lays the groundwork for other alternative and progressive women and girls paving the way for a generation of feminists.

Similarly, She’s the Man also shows gender can be “performed” in overt ways. The film belittles teen girls and their interests - Viola is shown to be at the mercy of her sexist football coach who believes that “Girls aren’t as fast as boys. It's not me talking, it’s a scientific fact,". This slur of misogyny spurs Viola to pose as her brother Sebastian to prove her worth and talent as a footballer. The film goes further in destabilising gender expectations and subverting gender stereotypes: the women are portrayed as being confident, playing sports and getting into physical fights whereas the men are seen crying, writing poetic song lyrics and screaming at the sight of spiders. By having the characters display behaviours which are contradictory to what is expected of them, the film highlights the arbitrary nature of gender roles and stereotypes. The film also shows how gender roles and expectations are prescribed - through Viola’s engagement with femininity - like 10 things Viola’s mother plays a role in highlighting her desire for her daughter’s conformity to feminine ideals (socialisation of women to be demure and “lady-like”).

Whilst both films subvert previous representations of women: there are still problems within them. Kat’s initial feminism can be rooted in the second wave of feminism where the movement largely ignored women of colour and queer women, focusing on advancing the rights of affluent caucasian women: of which Kat is representative of. This is echoes Bell Hook's idea of intersectionality where it is recognised that social classifications (race, gender, sexual identity, class) are interconnected and that ignoring their intersection created oppression towards women and change the experience of living as a woman in society.

Some critics have interpreted 10 things ending to be Kat subduing to her feminism by settling into a relationship with Patrick and conforming to the social norms of high school. However I think that the ending can be seen in a positive light: Kat is practising third-wave feminism, by marrying her political beliefs to freedom of choice, showing a sign of her growth. Bianca is also shown progressively: by choosing the less popular man for the one who truly cares and will make her happy as well as punching Joey in the face for the objectification of her and Kat. Kat learns to accept the affections of a man who respects her while retaining her beliefs and feminism. She’s the Man introduced a much more fluid concept of gender to a younger audience than was in the current mainstream. It helped unconsciously create a space for transgressive sexualities and gender identities when neither were represented in the mainstream as well as disseminating these concepts into younger audiences eyeline for them to ascribe their own meanings and interpretations. Both films effectively explore the themes of feminism, identity and gender politics in both similar and contrasting ways serving as starting blocks for a journey to equal and progressive representation in film and media.

[carnalphenomena]

headcanons about rachel louis mack noah

FIRST GEN

LOUIS.

cis man. thought he was completely straight until he was 18 or 19. then he really leaned into not just exclusively fucking women. ezra haven's whole thing is an incredible turn-on.

extremely sexually active. does weird sex stuff with his buddies in hotels, louis' apartment, ezra's apartment. extremely open-minded but mostly sticks to his rough dom persona (unless he's with ezra or someone ezra adjacent - then he turns into a bratty little mess who badly needs to be tamed).

has never committed to any person for more than like, three months. took a long time to view sex as something more than just masturbation with a twist - then he got a lot better at it.

his mustache makes receiving oral sex from him a bit of a Trip, but he's very not bad at it - mostly through trial and error.

MACKENZIE.

cis woman. has never really doubted this about herself, but it was easy for her to wrap her head around cass and jm's gender non-conforming swagger because they were so confident and she never really knew them as anything else

realized her sexuality was not hetero from a very, very young age. in fact, liking men came up much later in life. women, more feminine people - her attraction to them has always made more sense to her.

mack herself is still quite feminine, however. not quite butch, not quite a complete femme either. some secret third thing. she definitely looks more femme around cass, though - cass can dress more edgy and carry themselves more intensely.

being poly was also something that just kind of made sense to her very quickly. when mack was younger, she saw her complete and utter queerness as a complete rejection of everything her father stood for, so she really leaned into that. now she's a lot more comfortable just being who she is because that's...who she is.

bla bla idris is homophobic bla bla cass and mack were always seen as Very Good Friends and mack is now very open about her relationships with cass and jm - very affectionate in public, quick to introduce both of them as her partners, etc.

definitely the switchiest of the three in the bedroom. loves having control and feeling powerful - which makes giving those things up so refreshing and such a turn on. likes really intense, passionate sex, even with people who are strictly sexual partners, friends with benefits, etc.

fucking loves oral sex - receiving, mostly, because she can be a bit indulgent like that.

NOAH.

probably one of the more straightforward of my muses. very masculine (despite his long hair and the fact that he's a sensitive tortured artist, which like, okay, are we really going to go there)

used to use his paintings to get people to sleep with him like in the titanic (ive never seen it)

cis man. bisexual. most likely monogamous, but i can also see him enjoying multiple partners and spreading his affections. can also see him engaging in relationship anarchy. who's to say!

very dominant but not rough or overbearing like louis, kieran, etc. more of a gentle dom, unless he's really into it - then he gets more intense and grabby. hates dirty talk, however.

deserves to get fucked in the ass more than he is currently getting fucked in the ass. i think if he got pegged he would see god. he's reluctant to give up that control though - he thinks so much of his appeal comes from his dominance and how much he loves topping.

SECOND GEN

RACHEL.

exploring gender identity and expression came naturally, especially considering who their parents are. knew they were gender non-conforming / non-binary from a young age. they/she pronouns mostly result from an ambivalence to the system writ large - rachel knows who they are and they don't really care whether you know it or not, too.

definitely more butch than anything else, but i don't see them strictly adhering to these very rigid classifications.

like mack, rachel realized their attraction to more feminine individuals before they realized they could also like men or more masculine individuals. having the capacity to do so was actually quite a surprise in her 20s. still, rachel vastly, vastly prefers women and more feminine individuals.

likes topping. thinks being a pillow princess or anything adjacent is downright shameful. gets really, really into sex like she's been worked up and frustrated for years. in reality, she can get laid pretty much whenever she wants, and she's not too good for some quick and dirty masturbation, especially in the shower after a godawful shift.

[nobodyaskdcourtney]

The Deathless Girls Rated ★★★☆☆

by Kiran Millwood Hargrave

Book Blurb by Hachette: They say the thirst of blood is like a madness – they must sate it. Even with their own kin.

On the eve of her divining, the day she’ll discover her fate, seventeen-year-old Lil and her twin sister Kizzy are captured and enslaved by the cruel Boyar Valcar, taken far away from their beloved traveller community. Forced to work in the harsh and unwelcoming castle kitchens, Lil is comforted when she meets Mira, a fellow slave who she feels drawn to in a way she doesn’t understand. But she also learns about the Dragon, a mysterious and terrifying figure of myth and legend who takes girls as gifts.

They may not have had their divining day, but the girls will still discover their fate…

Rating: ★★★☆☆ Descriptors: Gothic fiction, sisterhood, intrigue. Recommended by: A TikTok video I cannot find anymore! Recommended for: I'm not sure that I would.

I wanted very badly to enjoy this book more than I did. One day I will learn to research more before trusting a book recommended on TikTok, but what can I say? Sometimes, I love the drama. Spoilers may be ahead.

The book blurb is fairly misleading. Yes, it is true our protagonist, Lil, and her sister, Kizzy, are taken captive and enslaved. Yes, Lil is a member of the LGBTQ+ community, as implied. But given that little blurb, would you have any idea that this story is about the brides of Dracula? If I had not been told, point-blank, by a video what the premise was, I would not have come to that conclusion.

In fact, I picked up this book because of that video. I was looking for fairytale retellings ( a guilty pleasure of mine ) and this was recommended on a TikTok I have unfortunately lost track of. Just hearing, "It's about the brides of Dracula" alone had me intrigued. I was prepared for a dark, gothic story, but I found it relatively tame, all things considered. Fair enough, considering this book is meant to be marketed toward children and teenagers.

I could see the appeal from my inner teenager, but I'm not sure this should be geared toward children's book genres. There were some graphic scenes and other implied mature content that I would find unsettling to a young reader.

I loved the queer representation and the lead character being a person of color. I loved the sisterhood. I even enjoyed the supporting characters overall. I think the author fleshed them all out decently well. I understood their connections, their bonds, and the stakes at hand. I appreciate that the g*psy slur was made clear that it was offensive and derogatory, but I do believe there were some stereotyping involved at times. I am not of their culture so I will not speak on what is not mine, but I hope it was a mostly respectful representation.

The story builds well, but the ending is quite rushed. If I remember correctly, I think we finally meet Dracula in only the last thirty pages or so. The dynamic between Kizzy and Fen felt rushed and overlooked. Lil being so willing to join Kizzy as a vampire is not too off-the-mark, seeing as the whole story is about their sisterly bond, but I think she should have had more time to decide. I know this is an origin story and we are not meant to see all the details when the girls become Dracula's deathless girls, but I was disappointed in the ending.

Lil's love story with Mira was fleshed out fine, I think, but again - left on such a rushed and disappointing note. I wish Mira had joined to become the third bride; I think their love story deserved more and it would have been nice to see Lil be selfish enough to ask her to stay. Nonetheless, I'm not entirely miffed about Mira leaving to live out her human life instead. It is the more romantic ( and frankly realistic ) choice, and I respect what the author was doing with that ending.

Now, three stars may seem like a high rating for a book I seem to have not enjoyed all that much. This all boils down to the writing. I think Hargrave did an excellent job of immersing you into the setting. She writes beautifully. It is not too flowery, but it is hardly bland. It was just the right amount to keep me engaged with the story. I was engrossed... until about halfway through when we still had not figured out who Dracul was or what his "pact" with Volcar meant. Sure, if you know the premise, it's easy to read between the lines, but it left for wanting.

All in all, this is hardly a terrible book. I think it's a great read for teenagers and, again, I cannot compliment the writing enough. It was lovely, and I may have to research Hargrave more to see if more mature fiction is in her repertoire.

[kalorphic]

CHAPTER TWO SNIPPET

It’s Noah’s time to shine! This is a snippet from Noah’s PoV regarding MC and Cody arriving in Vegas, rather than a face-to-face interaction because I want you guys to experience that in-game 👀

Warnings: Noah being kind of stalkerish (of mc and Cody at the airport through the use of camera’s), implied pre-planned abduction (related to the snippet involving Cody), mentions of past homophobia (related to Cody).

“${nser}, ${mctitle} ${mclastname} and Mx. O’Sullivan’s plane has landed.”

Noah ducked ${ntheir} head in acknowledgment, “thank you, Marcus.”

Marcus didn’t linger. He knew a dismissal when he heard one. It was something that Noah liked about him.

It took mere seconds for ${ntheir} thoughts to move from their assistant to the MI6 handlers that had just arrived in Noah’s playground.

Perfect.

Noah had had extensive research done on everyone worth ${ntheir} time, and that included ${mcname} and Cody.

Intel told ${nthem} that Cody was a talented young coder, one of the best and brightest at MI6. They had quickly moved up the ranks and seemed to have a knack for handling more difficult agents. Cody’s background was high-class, but they were largely ignored and unloved by their family as a child, until they were finally disowned for coming out as queer.

Noah’s lip curls into a snarl of disgust at the thought. People like that won’t exist when I’m done.

But alas, ${nthey} are getting off-topic.

Cody was taken in by their uncle who was also disowned and who, despite not having much to his name, loved them unconditionally and tried to give them every opportunity possible.

I wonder if it would be strange to send Mr. O’Sullivan a gift basket?

Yes, moron, it would.

Ugh, why does my voice of reason have to sound like Manon.

Ah well. Perhaps it’ll be something to consider when Noah is in charge. Anyway, back to Cody.

They joined MI6, and were assigned a Flat with a flatmate pending. Which they were eventually assigned. Bringing them to ${mcname}.

[a/n] this part is largely dependent on the choices you’ve previously made.

${mcname} was an equal to Cody in every way, perhaps even better when it came to [hacking | tactics | building relationships | quickly responding to problems]. ${mcthey} came from a lower middle-class background with rather ordinary parents and an entrepreneur for an older [brother | sister | sibling]. [${mcname} emigrated when they were [age (up to 16)] from the continent of [Africa | Europe | North America | South America | Oceania | Asia] and] after ${mcthey} graduated colleg– ah university, they spent time [working | travelling | doing post-graduate studying] until they joined MI6 when they were [23 | 24 | 25 | 26].

However, what made ${mcthem} truly incredible in espionage circles (and in ${ntheir} more shady ones) was ${mctheir} handling of Agent X, an agent who had been renown for being extremely difficult for anyone to work with, and yet, here was this newbie who had managed to tame the dragon in just three months.

And now you show up here to save them…is X your lover, perhaps?

Noah tilts ${ntheir} head and stares at ${mcname}’s picture.

You intrigue me. I want to know more about you.

I want you to understand me.

${nthey} tap a few buttons on the screen in front of ${nthem} and CCTV footage of LAS appears. Noah scans the screens to catch a glimpse of the handlers.

“Ah, there they are.”

Noah doesn’t realise that ${ntheir} smiling until ${ntheir} face starts to hurt from how wide it is.

“We’ll be meeting very soon.”

${nthey} watch as you pace, impatiently waiting for your luggage to come around the belt.

I can’t wait.

[castlebyersafterdark]

music anon, hello again! i ADORE that your sister was/is such a positive influence in your life. mine too! sad about the brothers though... not to be a prying cliche but it sounds like you had a big family who were into southern/american music? country isnt really a popular thing here in the uk but i can see it being a staple for life in the midwest/southern states of the us. i really hope these memories arent connected to anything bad re: your sexuality :(

your partner being into old folk rock tho... james taylor? joni mitchell? if so, i appreciate him even more than i already do for making you so happy hehe

'Chill in attitude. High strung soul.' - you ARE will byerrrrrrrrssssss <333

yeah s4 did music so well. i cant wait for s5. i really wanna know more of mike's taste in music. it would add so much to the byler lore. is he a retro synth guy like the spotify playlists suggest??? i really feel like he is a synth nerd <3 we already know dustin loves weird al lmao!!! and please do example a lofi song you hate if you can think of one, i'm curious

Shout out to sisters!! I love mine so much - she got me into fandom stuff, too. The quintessential cool nerd, but I never quite managed the cool part like she did haha. And hmm. Yeah. Complicated relationships re: family. The 'rents are mostly cool now. I love my sister and I'm close with one brother. I don't speak to the others much. 🙄 I think that says what it needs to.

And 💙 is just so ahhhh. He's gotten me into his old man music and I'm honestly glad for it. So, spot on. He's such a wallflower and I am ridiculous and I think our musical tastes being so opposite is cool since it's allowed us to branch out together. I'm so into CSNY and Fleetwood Mac now from him. And I'm proud I got that man to absolutely vibe with Dua Lipa since she's a big faaaave 😊

I am DESPERATE for anything more about Mike. I need to know if those spotify lists were accurate, who made and approved them??? New wave and synth is great for Mike! It's got such good queer undertones while still being a little dorky and nerdy?

Ok, I pulled up some playlists and artists I consider the sound style of music that's popular right now that I'm not about: Bille Eilish, Cigarettes After Sex, Glass Animals, Tame Impala, Sufjan Stevens, this or this. I think lofi is a specific type of music actually, and I'm just not into the softly sung, sounds like you'd play it over a slow mo video of a car driving up the PCH, a lot of people probably like listening to it high but I've tried that and it's even worse, kinda music vibes. Hahaha. Something is very wrong with me.