#it's worse than straight up 'NOPING' out of a bad series

[sailorstarr-chan4]

Does anyone else ever.... reluctantly shelf an anime series? Like "this anime seems really cool, and I bet younger me would have eaten it up but..... man I'm NOT feeling it"???? and you're left feeling weirdly guilty about it because you WANT to like it???? but it's just not working????

[theharpermovieblog]

#HARPERSMOVIECOLLECTION

2024 MOVIE LIST

www.tumblr.com/theharpermovieblog

BAD MOVIE TRIPLE FEATURE pt.1

I re-watched Event Horizon (1997)

Ugh, this movie sucks. I'm only watching it to remind myself why I truly hate it.

A spaceship crew, along with a scientist, are sent out to recover another lost ship.

Director Paul W.S. Anderson is, in my opinion, one of the worst directors to have ever had success in hollywood. His only talent is his consistent ability to underwhelm and bore his audience, while poorly Frankenstein-ing ideas from far better films. Whether it be through meandering go-nowhere stories or his lifeless action sequences, he has little more to offer than movies that are too bland to be "so bad they're good".

Anderson was handed the Resident Evil film franchise and chose to make some of the worst horror/action films in history. But it's here, with Event Horizon, that we get something far more disappointing than a lackluster cash-grab series of films. Here, Anderson takes his obvious love for the Alien franchise and admiration for Lovecraftian horror and he delivers a slap-in-the-face to both of those inspirations. (Not to mention, he wastes an excellent cast.)

Event Horizon starts well enough. As I've said, this film is straight from the Alien-franchise playbook. Especially as far as aesthetic and character are concerned. That's ok though. It's not a total rip-off and we'll call it a "loving tribute".

The beginning has "scary" dream sequences and general exposition, during which we mildly get to know a generic spaceship crew. The movie looks pretty good and, admittedly, Event Horizon starts out like a well made, if basic, Alien-clone.

The film goes on to slightly intrigue the audience more than most Alien-clones however. As it's story begins unfolding there is a promise made. A promise involving a ghost-ship floating out in space, seemingly leading to a wild hellraiser-esque bit of cosmic-horror. A promise to scare us with visuals, but also with deep existential dread. A promise of an intelligent horror film. A promise, which sadly, this movie never lives up to.

And, that's the main issue here.

The movie offers decent special effects (for the time and budget), and some great makeup effects. A lot of it's imagery is cool-enough and interesting. I fully admit that, for a movie I hate, there are things here that I very much like. The problem is, as soon as it finishes it's set up of a frightening otherworldly experience, Event Horizon then delivers nothing but the most generic and stale horror tropes. The movie devolves into countless lame jump scares and characters dying off one by one in poorly paced suspense sequences. The predictability factor goes off the charts, and the thought of the film's promise being fufilled is dashed immediately.

Well, at least we get interesting characters to carry us through this very cliche film, right? Nope. This cast of characters are a hollow one dimensional group. As basic as basic can be. We don't care about them. They're the crew from Alien, but with no real personality of their own. Just faded photocopies of characters other people have written, only on screen to die in boring ways. Even the ones with backstory feel untethered to their own stories.

If you're not bored by this movie, you've either tricked yourself into believing a few cool images can make a good movie, or you just truly enjoy terrible writing. And, I'll be the first to say that that's ok. We all occasionally like shit movies, shit books, shit music. It happens. But, just because you like something shitty, that doesn't make it a good movie. It makes it a shitty movie you like.

For me though, there is nothing worse than a film that uses pre-fabricated cool ideas and concepts to trick you into believing it's unique or interesting or worth a damn, despite adding nothing of value. This movie is the promise of steak and then receiving plain white toast cut into the shape of steak. Sure, it's food, but it's the farthest thing from what you were told you were getting. Event Horizon devolves from a cool cosmic horror concept into obvious cookie-cutter Hollywood trash, while completely ignoring what made it's "inspirations" so good. This movie is unoriginal, uninteresting and it's only value is in it's occasional pretty sets and makeup.

Basic Hollywood is ok sometimes. Basic slashers, basic tropes, basic films. They're all ok, but not at the expense of a great concept. And, for that matter, Event Horizon doesn't even do "Basic Hollywood" well. Anderson's direction is stale and lifeless. He has no personal style. It's all just attempts at copying what he believes is good or cool, and rather than spicing it up with his own signature, he regurgitates what he's consumed. The most simple and cliche moments in this film have been done far better somewhere else.

With the understanding that this film fails at examining it's higher concept and simultaneously fails at its more basic aspects (like character and engaging writing) I have to ask, what's left to like? What's here other than a pile of vaguely familiar vomit?

As an audience member you're being lied to, and the work of better artists is being used to prop up that lie.

Fuck this movie.

[cheesysaggychick]

Truman Got It Wrong

 (A Kabataan Essay)

Imagine being the main character of your own story. Your life has already been planned out from the day you opened your eyes. There are cameras watching your every move and directors that will dictate how you live based on the writer’s script. You don’t have any real friends because everyone around you is an actor hired to follow the flow of the plot. Even with the food that you eat, the soap you use to bathe, the toothpaste you brush your teeth with, they are all from the sponsors to keep your life running for people’s entertainment. Basically, you don’t have to worry about anything. You just have to live your life stress-free and hassle-free! Nope, this is not a movie, nor it is an advertisement. Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out. So..what do you think?

At the ripe age of 15, I had the world in my hands…at least it seemed like it. I am doing great in my academics, I am thin, I’m closer to my friends than I have ever been, and I even have a boyfriend. Whaaattt? Sounds like I only need to be mean and have everything pink to be Regina George. Meh. My Kopiko 78 would be an insult to possibly her sweet tea with artificial sugar and some berries in her glittery pink cup. That day was a normal Thursday. No, it was not. It was our 4th quarterly examination, and Math and Science are all on the same day. I was psyching myself that I did good in the Math examination I had just finished. It was trigonometry. Nobody understands trigonometry, right? Since when did Math have kites you solve and diamonds you find the function of? Math has never been my favorite. If only this was a movie, I would not care. I would be wearing my chucks instead of the hurtful black shoes, sleeves rolled up, piercings blinding my teachers’ eyes, sporting a massive hangover due to the endless partying the night before yet I would still be able to pass all my exams because I’m the main character!

In a blink of an eye, people were suddenly breaking records saying

“Saraleo”, 

“Raikantopeni” 

and even 

panties fell for Sara--Ti--Sara... I don’t know who for, Tine or Sarawat. You choose. (editors note: not me rewatching 2gether while editing this for the vibes)

I am so confused, I thought I was on a different planet. The Boy’s Love industry has suddenly taken over the world, specifically, my world. The world is on lockdown, which I don’t even know what that was about. What’s a lockdown? Isn’t that what they do in zombie movies when patient zero gets loose? Since we have nothing better to do with our spare time, people really said “since you are so deprived of any romantic stuff right now, why don’t we watch two actors play as a couple, right?”. People is me. 

Well, that was toxic. Obviously, there are always two sides to the coin, which is in this case, the bad and the worse. The first is straight homophobic actors benefiting from the roles they have as homosexual characters. Secondly, the toxic “delulu”, a slang for delusional fans who treat the acting as real. Also, it has become a trend for BLs that year to have sexual assaults as the major plot or the twist of the story. Still, I waited every Thursday for the new episode of 2gether. I know, I’m a hypocrite. Am I? But imagine being in those series, experiencing tropes like enemies-to-lovers or fake-dating, and the wonder of all tropes, the friends-to-lovers. Ahhh, if only. 

With nothing more left to do, I scrolled through my phone for the nth time. It had been my greatest companion during this time of isolation. As I clicked on Facebook and scroll through posts, everyone seemed to have been productive. It was #fitnessgoals, #quaranthings, #lockdownbody. 

I suddenly became self-conscious. So, I broke up with my boyfriend. Random? Yeah, I know. I didn’t know people have been doing all these “healthy” things, meanwhile, I have been punishing myself with all the junk that I have been consuming. 

The following day, I immediately got my phone and typed Chloe Ting for the first time in a long time. (The only clickbait I knew yet I still clicked anyways)

The more reps I’m doing, the more desperate I was getting. Slowly, I am getting lightheaded and started rethinking my life decisions. Why am I doing this again? I know it’s not to build my own endurance, gain muscles, or lose fat. I still don’t know until now. All I know is that people liking you is equivalent to your liking yourself, and I have seen society kinder to skinnier people than those of my size so, I guess I just answered my own question. 

Honestly, for years I really thought I was fat, I knew I was. At least that is what was etched in my mind, by my family, and my relatives, I was even bullied for it. I hated the sight of measuring tapes, fitting rooms, and even weighing scales. Now looking back to my pictures before, I really wasn’t. But people were not nice, so what was that about? I feel like I had to be the nice and funny one because no one dislikes the nice one, right? 

So, I starved myself. Yes, I know, it sounds dumb but that’s what I did. For months and on, I did that, and guess what happened? People stopped looking at me with their judgments peeling my skin off like a chemical peel. If this were a movie, I would just need a friend who “knows it all”, then one day just walks into school, hair falling, skinny waist, thick booty, and a miracle glow-up that even my closest friends will not recognize me.

Speaking of glow-up, I… was obsessed with my hair. And what do you do when you are obsessed with something? You kill it, right? 

So, I chopped it, 

then chopped it again, 

and again all on my own, then for the fourth time, I finally went to the salon. 

Obviously, people 18 and below are not allowed to enter the mall so I showcased my oscar-winning acting skills. After chopping my hair for the millionth time, guess what I did. 

I bleached it, then bleached it again, then again, and again, until I finally dyed it, and dyed it again, and again, and again. By then I have more roots than hair. Honestly, I felt so much of a badass entering that Teams chat with different hair colors every week. Again kids, what do you do when you are obsessed with something?

You kill it.  I have witnessed people who feel superior to others kill because of differences. I have seen people die due to the corrupt system the country is still built on. I have seen people fail just because their own government betrayed them and neglects their rights. I have seen people surrender because however loud they scream, they plea, they are never heard. 

Why is it that the most valuable thing which is life has become so easy to be stripped of now? Killing has become as normal as breathing. Dying has become a great escape. Failing has become what was expected. Surrendering has become the end for all the hopeless. We have been so obsessed with how people live their lives that we don’t even recognize our own issues. We don’t try to learn for the sake of unlearning. 

But, if these were all in a movie, I would make it as if death is not the end. But I told you from the beginning, nope, this is not The Truman Show, nor it is an advertisement. You are not Truman nor you are Regina George. You worry you stress, you hassle. Comfortability is a privilege. Like art, its meaning lies deep within, but one remains, art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable. We cannot afford to be nonchalant as our time is limited. 

Yes, our life is a story, but like any other story, it will eventually reach its end. The moment we open our eyes, it is unjust to ever close them again. There will be judgments, not cameras watching your every move. There will be prejudice, not the director that will dictate how you live your life based on what your parents demand. There will be strangers who will snake you and bite you which will make you fall. Finally, you will have everything that you ever need, and yet still have nothing at the same time. 

Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out. Although it was all for a show, at least it was perfect, right? Truman Burbank was wrong. So..what do you think?

[absolutebl]

Ok a non singing BL ask, it’s about the latest episode of Not Me so spoilers if you haven’t seen it. ********************** so GramBlack seems officially sank and it’s caused discussion about queer erasure. I wanted to get your thoughts/perspective on it. I did think the narrative was indicting Gram and Black had a close relationship and then after Black woke up it seemed like the plot was working overtime to keep them separate. And now Gram was in love with Eugene the whole time. Some people are saying Gram could still be queer even if he’s in a m/f relationship which I of course know is true but I think it’s moving the goal post wrt queer erasure. The narrative gave us a lot of scenes supporting GramBlack imo, because as far as I recall no one has called Eugene “Gene” so the GB dolls referring to her and not Gram seems like a big misdirection or just clumsy execution. Yes, there are plenty of other queer ships and plots in Not Me but it does seem that this one thread, GramBlack, was changed midway or poorly set up. Your thoughts?

You're really sucking me into this? Are you sure you want me in this space?

The GramBlack Debacle

Were we teased by the narrative into thinking it might happen? Sure

Is it queer erasure? Nope*

Bad story writing? Maybe

An inability to understand the fandom? Probubly

On the other hand, did they think maybe fans would be mad if Gun was depicted with a different partner? Likely

Some reasons not to be mad:

1. GMMTV rarely (if ever) gives us 3 BL couples in one series. So there is no real president from them to do this.

2. They are vested in OffGun as their last standing OG pair. (TayNew seem basically retired at this point.)

3. Good representations of non-sexualized masculine queer friendships on screen, especially when one or both are queer? VERY VERY IMPORTANT. As important as good representations of male/female straight friendships. And as rare, if not rarer.

It's pretty darn vital that being gay not be conflated with being attracted to or pursued by every other dude in the show. It's real important to portray humans being friends with the gender (or genders) that they are attracted to. Otherwise this can tie into predatory gay (or predatory queer) or bisexual = slut stereotypes.

It could be argued that GramBlack NOT being Gram Black is actually more important to queerness. So let's put the queer erasure bullpucky to bed shall we? I'm sorry if someones out there are but-hurt (pun intended) that their ship didn't sail but no one was attacking anyone's identity with this. At worse it was careless storytelling.

This is why AO3 exists. Seek ye some fanfic.

Pat pat pat.

Also, even if Gram and Black are both straight, two men unafraid of physical contact with each other in this age where toxic masculinity probubly in part is the fault of culture (and international) touch shaming and touch starvation? SUPER FUCKING IMPORTANT. (You want more of this, it's in my skinship post.)

Gram’s queerness:

Okay so here’s what the narrative told us: he has an ex who is third gender. In our language (in most non-Thai translations) she would be a she/her and as a trans woman if Gram dated her in modern queer parlance then he was dating a woman. That makes him straight by outside observation.

Gram then has a crush on a cis girl.

What’s actually been decided for his character with this dating history is technically straightness. However, he says he signs the petition and something about the way he talks with his ex implies that he enjoyed dating her in part for her identity which means he probably does identify as queer. Also, boy can do and call himself what he likes regardless of his dating history.

Still, that doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to sleep with or date boys, tho. Perhaps he's into the feminine in general.

Final thoughts on GramBlack?

Clearly the fandom wanted it a lot more than the director or GMMTV did. That's pretty much all we can say.

However, what this probubly did was tell GMMTV something interesting, if they were paying attention to it (and they usually are):

Viewers are willing to see Gun with other pairings. And THAT could get interesting in the future.

Personally I've always wanted him to do a BL with Tay that pulls on their existing personalities: puppy/puppy, sunshine/sunshine is a pairing we never get in BL.

(Incidentally, Gun has been partnered with others pre GMMTV. You'll need to track down: The Blue Hour, Love Love You, and there's another one set in a cafe I can't remember the name of pre 2016.)

Oy, I don't think I'm ready for the comments on this one. @parralex0889 what have you wrought?

* Note I backtrack on the erasure thing in the comments when I learned that GramBlack WERE A COUPLE IN THE ORIGINAL Y-NOVEL!!! 

But it’s interesting to note that as someone who knew nothing about the source material, my original stance was just... messed up story and GMMTV politics. 

[waitimcomingtoo]

Never Try, Never Know

Pairing: Peter Parker enemies to lovers

Synopsis: Flash pesters you about your sex life

Read the series or read on its own

Masterlist

A month later, you were in Peter’s room once again. Doing your homework together had once again become a make out session.

You were underneath Peter with your hands up in his hair. Your skirt was hiked up around your waist and his jeans were brushing against you every time he moved. His hand was resting just below your boob, pressing firmly on your rib cage. As you kissed him, you slowly moved his hand up and kept yours on top of his. You squeezed your hand, prompting him to squeeze your boob. You could feel him smile into the kiss as he gained more confidence. He slipped his hand under your shirt and brushed his thumb over your bra. You moaned into his mouth, hoping he would keep going. You could feel his boner against your thigh and you were dying for him to take the next step already.

“Can I take my shirt off? You whispered against his lips. He nodded eagerly in response. You pulled away from Peter for a moment to pull your shirt off and tossed it to the floor. His cheeks tinted pink since this was the first time you’d done this. He shyly looked at you and gulped so you gave him a reassuring smile.

“It’s okay.” You told him. “You can touch me.”

Peter hesitated before putting his hand back on your boob. He bent down to kiss you again and slowly trailed kisses down your neck. You were combing your fingers through his hair as he kissed the tops of your breasts, thinking you were finally about to go all the way with him. Before you had a chance to do anything else, Peter pulled away and groaned.

“Oh my God.” He gulped and sat up.

“Are you okay?” You sat up as well to check on him.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

You slumped back on the bed as Peter climbed off and went to the bathroom. Once you heard his shower turn on, you let out an angry huff. You squeezed your legs together in frustration before slipping your shirt back on.

That was how it always went. You’d get close but never go all the way. You knew Peter was a virgin, but you were starting to think he wanted to stay that way. You didn’t want to push Peter before he was ready, but your sexual frustration was getting to be more than you could handle. If you waited any longer, you thought you might explode.

“I’m back.” Peter announced, pulling you out of your thoughts. “Sorry about that. I get overstimulated very easily. All my nerve endings are extra sensitive.”

“It’s fine.” You faked a smile as he sat next to you. “But you know, you don’t have to calm yourself down every time. You could run with it.”

“Run with it?” Peter asked. “You mean, you want me to…”

“Fuck me. Yeah.” You nodded. “Just a suggestion.”

Peter’s face blushed all the way down to his neck at your bluntness. He shyly laughed and put his lap top on his lap.

“You’re crazy.” He chuckled. “What do you want to watch?”

“I’m fine with anything.” You faked a smile and rested your head on his shoulder. You didn’t want him to know you were disappointed. If he wasn’t ready, then he wasn’t ready. The only problem was, you were a little more then ready. You were two close calls away from begging him to fuck you, and you could only hope it wouldn’t resort to that.

~

You were in a bad mood the next day at school. All you could think about was how badly you wanted to get off. It felt like Peter was dangling himself in front of you but never letting you have him. To make a bad day worse, Flash spotted you at your locker and decided to pester you.

“Hey, pretty lady.” He smiled as he flicked some of your hair off your shoulder. “What are you doing tonight? Wanna get Flash-y on a Friday?”

“Fuck off.” You groaned. “I have a boyfriend.”

“There is no way you and Parker are actually together.” Flash scoffed when you rejected him. “This has got to be some weird hate sex thing.”

You froze when he mentioned sex since it was currently a sensitive topic for you.

“It’s not.” You said quickly. “Peter is my boyfriend, and you make me drier than sandpaper. Buh bye.”

You pushed him away from you and kept walking, but he followed.

“Who do you guys think you’re fooling? Everyone knows you guys hate each other.” Flash insisted.

“We used too.” You shrugged. “Now we love each other.”

“Are you sure you’re not just hooking up to get your frustration out and thinking it’s a relationship?”

You sucked in a sharp breath when he mentioned it again, growing frustrated now.

“I’m positive.” You grumbled.

“Why?”

“Because we haven’t even…” You trailed off when you realized you said too much. But it was too late. Flash’s jaw dropped as he bounced up and down.

“You guys haven’t had sex yet?” He asked. “How? You’ve been together like two months.”

“Can you keep your voice down please?” You hissed. “It’s none of your business. And it’s normal for couples to wait.”

“You know what?” Flash snickered. “I’m not even surprised that you guys haven’t done it yet. He’s not man enough to try anything.”

“Yes he is.” You said. “Shut up Flash.”

“Are you sure about that?” Flash taunted.

“Yes.” You snapped as your confidence slowly faded. “I’m sure. Now leave me alone.”

“I kinda feel sorry for you.” He continued. “You’re dating the man who played the girl part in last years musical. It’s probably the only girl part he’s ever seen.”

“Shut up.” You repeated. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t I? Because I’m willing to bet Peter doesn’t have a single clue what to do in bed. He’d be like, “orgasm? You mean organism? It’s an animal, plant, or single celled life form”, or something.” Flash mimicked his voice. “He’s probably awful. He’ll never be able to please you.”

“Yes he can.” You said quietly, but you weren’t sure. You hated to admit it, but you were starting to think Flash might be right.

“How would you know?” Flash taunted. That pushed you to your edge. You knew if you didn’t say something now, Flash would tell the whole school and humiliate Peter.

“Because I was kidding. We have had sex.” You lied. “He sexed me like, a hundred times. Including last night.”

“Really?” Flash narrowed his eyes.

“Yeah. He nearly broke my pelvis.” You continued. “That’s why I’m in leggings today. I’m really sore.”

“Peter Parker left you sore?” Flash snorted. “What’d he do? Forgot you were there and sit on you?”

“No. He fucked me.” You said confidently this time. “Really, really well.”

“Nope. I don’t believe you.” Flash shook his head. “There is no way Little orphan Annie is having sex. Not a chance.”

“Well, he is.” You shrugged. “And he’s got a huge dick. Like, the size of a salt shaker.”

“Salt shakers are like two inches.” Flash scoffed.

“Not the kind you have at home.” You rolled your eyes. “Like, the really big ones at Italian restaurants. That size.”

“For real?” Flash’s eyes widened.

“Yeah.” You began to lose confidence in your lying ability. “Real, um, real monster cock on that boy. He’s uh, he’s a mouthful.”

“You mean handful?” Flash asked.

“I said what I said.”

“No way.” Flash gasped.

“Uh huh. He’s the best I ever had.” You egged it on. “By a long shot, too. He really knows what he’s doing.”

“You’re telling me Peter Parker is some kind of sex god?” Flash raised an eyebrow.

“Yep.” You replied. “In fact, I’m going to his apartment later for more. I just can’t get enough. You’d understand if you were getting it this good.”

“Who would have thought.” Flash shook his head. “I certainly didn’t see this coming.”

“Well, speaking of coming, I better go. Peter’s expecting me.” You smiled tightly and walked away from Flash. You squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment as you left him, unsure of how much damage you had just done.

~

Flash spotted Peter at the lockers the next day and thought of your conversation from the day before. Always looking for trouble, he walked up to Peter and leaned against his locker.

“Hey, Penis Parker.” Flash said with a grin.

“Go away Flash.” Peter groaned.

“Woah.” Flash held up his hands. “That’s no way to talk to someone who knows your dirty little secret.”

Peter stiffened when he heard this and gave his full attention to Flash.

“What?”

“Yup.” He nodded. “I was just talking to Y/n and she told me all about your double life.”

“She what?” Peter asked as he began to panic.

“Yeah. I can’t believe you were able to keep it hidden this long. I’m almost impressed.” Flash said as he folded his arms. Peter grabbed him by the shirt and pressed him up against the lockers as Flash gasped.

“Woah, woah, woah. Take me to dinner first, jeez.” Flash said as Peter loosened his grip.

“What do you know?” Peter said through gritted teeth.

“Not much. Just that you’re not the man I thought you were.” Flash winked.

“What?” Peter flushed with rage.

“You know what I’m talking about.” Flash said before blowing him a kiss. “Bye!”

Peter watched him leave as a nervous anger settled in his stomach. He didn’t know Flash was talking about something entirely different. He assumed you told him about his Spider-Man secret and he was furious with you.

After school, Peter walked to your apartment and used his spare key. He found you in your room and wasted no time in letting you have it.

“What did you tell Flash?” Peter demanded as he slammed the door behind him. You were someone who hated being yelled at, so you were immediately annoyed with Peter’s behavior.

“Woah.” You scoffed. “Nice to see you too.”

“Why did Flash tell me I wasn’t he man he thought I was?” Peter continued. “Did you tell him I was Spiderman?”

“Excuse me?” You stood up angrily. “You can’t just barge in here, yelling at me and accusing me of exposing your secret.”

“I can when you told the worst person we know something I trusted you with.” Peter snapped. “Did you seriously tell him I was Spiderman?”

“Yes, Peter. I told Flash your biggest secret.” You said sarcastically. “I went straight up to him and said, “hey, want to hear some information my boyfriend specifically trusted me to keep?” Then I made rode off in his porch and we made love under the stars. Oh, and we’re writing a cookbook together. It’s called “I Didn’t tell Flash Your Fucking Secret”. You can preorder now.”

“Real funny.” Peter seethed. “If you didn’t tell him, then why did he say you told him my secret? Why was he impressed that I had hidden it for so long?”

“Because I told him…” Your shouting trailed off when you realized what you told Flash was much worse.

“Told him what?” Peter asked angrily.

“Nothing. I didn’t tell him anything. Just calm down.” You rolled your eyes and flopped back on the bed.

“I am calm.” He yelled. “You have to tell me what you said to him.”

“No I don’t.” You said simply. “I have the right to remain silent. I don’t have to tell you shit.”

“If you didn’t tell him I was Spiderman then what could you have possibly told him?” Peter whined as he sat next to you. He was smart enough to know yelling at you would just make you more defensive.

“I don’t want to tell you.” You said quietly.

“Why?”

“It’s embarrassing.” You whined as you covered your face.

“So is your outfit.” Peter shrugged. You uncovered your face to narrow your eyes at him.

“Fucker.” You grumbled.

“Just tell me.” Peter groaned. “Or I’ll shit the bed next time we cuddle.”

“I need you to take a step back from this conversation and think about what you just said to me.” You said seriously.

“I’ll do it.” He threatened.

“Fine. I told him you were…” You mumbled the end of the sentence so even with his super hearing, he couldn’t hear you.

“What?”

“I told him you were really good at sex.” You reluctantly confessed. “I told him all the dirty little secrets of our sex life and that’s what he was talking about when he came up to you. I didn’t tell him anything about spiderman. I cannot believe you think I’d do that to you.”

“You…wait, what?” Peter stuttered as his face went bright red. “What?!”

“Don’t make me repeat it.” You pleaded.

“How did you tell him about our sex life if we never...” Peter’s sentence tapered off like it usually did when it came to talking about something real.

“Fucked?” You raised an unamused eyebrow. If he couldn’t even say the word, you wondered how he’d ever do the action.

“Yeah.” He gulped. “That.”

“I don’t know. I made stuff up.” You shrugged. “I told him we had sex all the time and that you were super good at it. And that, you know, you have a monster cock.” You mumbled the last part out of embarrassment.

“A what?” Peter sputtered. “A fucking what?”

“I was hyping you up.” You defended yourself. “And it’s not like I can’t feel it when we spoon.”

Peter flushed again and rubbed his face.

“Why were you telling him any of this?” He asked wearily.

“Because.” You mumbled, not wanting to tell Peter why the topic ever came up.

“Because why?” He pressed.

“Because he was saying you’d never be able to please me and you were too inexperienced to try anything so I put him in his place.” You explained. “I’m the only one who can make fun of you like that. Not him.”

Peter looked at you with sad eyes as the weight of your words hit him.

“Is that what you think?” He worried. “That I couldn’t please you?”

“What? No, Pete.” You shook your head. “I don’t think that. That’s just what Flash was saying. You know how he is.”

“But he’s right.” Peter gulped. “I am inexperienced. You were my first kiss. I’d have no idea how to...you know.”

“That’s okay.” You assured him. “I don’t expect anything from you.”

That didn’t sit well with Peter. Instead of cheering him up, it made him feel worse.

“Have you had sex before?” He asked quietly. You blinked a few times, knowing your answer would only make the situation worse.

“Yeah.” You nodded stiffly. “I have.”

“Shit.” Peter whispered as he looked down. You noticed he was clenching and unclenching his fist, something he did when he was anxious.

“Peter, I’m sorry.” You got off the bed and put your hands on his face. “I didn’t mean to make you feel insecure. We can just drop this. It doesn’t matter.”

“You feel the same way, don’t you?” Peter frowned with glassy eyes. “You agree with what Flash said so you overcompensated on my behalf. That’s why you told him all those things.”

“Pete, I don’t give a fuck what Flash says.” You told him. “I never have. I was just trying to shut him up.”

“You just told me you don’t expect anything from me.” He said as he moved away from you. “You don’t think I could please you, do you? You think I’m too innocent and inexperienced.”

“Well, you are innocent and inexperienced.” You said calmly. “But that’s not a bad thing. We love each other, okay? And when we’re ready to take the next step, we will.”

Peter sucked in a sharp breath and bit his bottom lip, telling you he was fighting back tears. You put one hand on his shoulder and one on his face in an attempt to comfort him.

“Hey.” You said soothingly. “What’s wrong?”

“First you tell me you wanted to sleep with Bucky, and now I find out you’re telling Flash about our ridiculous make believe sex life because you were too embarrassed to tell him we don’t have one.” Peter said sadly.

“What do those two things have to do with the other?”

“I can’t compete!” Peter exclaimed. “Flash is probably right. I probably can’t please you. I’m just…I’m just a virgin who can’t drive.”

“It’s okay.” You chuckled. “I knew both of those things before I started dating you.”

You only made the situation worse by saying this. The confidence had been knocked right out of Peter and it showed. He was visible shaken over the conversation and you wished it never started.

“Pete.” You sighed. “You don’t have to get upset about this. It’s just a stupid thing Flash said.”

“A stupid thing Flash said that you’re worried is true.” Peter stated. You opened your mouth but quickly shut it when you realized he was right. As much as you hated to admit it, Flash had gotten in your head.

“I’m not worried.” You said weakly.

“I can smell when you’re lying.” Peter said as he glared at you.

“That’s not fair.” You groaned. “Don’t sniff out my emotions.”

“It’s not just your emotions. It’s what you’re saying.” Peter protested. “You were too ashamed to tell him we haven’t had sex yet, weren’t you? And now you think what he said was right.”

“I’m not ashamed. But, I mean, it’s not like you ever try anything.” You shrugged. “We make out and then you take a cold shower and put on a movie. I’m not trying to push you before you’re ready, but Jesus Peter. You can’t even say the word “fuck”. You could barely say “horny” a month ago. They’re just words. You don’t have to be scared of them.”

“I’m not scared. I was trying to be a gentleman. But apparently, that’s not good enough for you.” He shot back.

“Are you mad at me? Is this a fight?” You honestly wondered. You didn’t expect him to react the way he was and it was throwing you off. You’d gotten into plenty of arguments before, but never like this. You were a couple now and the stakes were much higher.

“I don’t know how I feel right now. I know this conversation made me feel really bad, though.” He answered. Your eyes softened for a moment before your anger returned.

“What’s your problem? You should be thanking me.” You insisted. “Flash is probably telling the whole school how great you are in bed. Why are you so upset?”

“I’m upset because my girlfriend thinks I can’t fuck her.” Peter gravely as he stared you in the eyes. You uncrossed your arms and blinked a few times, surprised that he finally said it.

“Yeah.” He stated as he got ready to leave. “I can say the word.”

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[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

Sad thing is if one just watch the show completely on it's own you might be able to interpret it as being aware the Sylvie is bad. Kang straight up calls her all villain after. But then you hear what the creators say about her and they never once acknowledge her actions as wrong. Nope she's a badass hero on a crusade, her wounds are so deeper then Loki's blah blah blah.

I've been comparing her to Killmonger lately. Erik was a very talented and intelligent man who faced a lot hardship and loss in his life. It was that hardship in life that drove him to a single minded goal and he didn't care who or what he had to sacrifice to achieve that goal. Erik pain is deeply relatable and very real to a lot people and that's why he's considered one of the most sympathetic villains. It's why so many viewers ended rooting for him. But the narrative makes clear that Killmonger's fatal flaw is that single minded need to achieve his goals. That "my way and only my way" attitude is what makes him a villain. No matter how much of a point he might have, and he absolutely has a point that still doesn't give him the right to kill people, start a war or potentially become a colonizer himself. Yes, as an audience we are meant sympathize and even understand his point the wrongs he's done are still wrong.

Sylvie could have been an amazing tragic villain maybe even one who could had a face turn. But it's clear from every one involved that they already see that they already see her as a hero or that her sad backstory justifies everything she's done. They care so much about how much trauma and hurt Sylvie been through. I willing to bet that season2 no one going to call her out on just how selfish it was to kill kang without even considering if they was any other option.

You know what's going to happen? She's going to whine that revenge didn't make her happy. Because you know that's the problem that she wasn't satisfied and not the fact that what she did was wrong. But you know what will make her happy? Love, love will make her happy. She'll hook up with Loki and all the people she killed will just be forgotten and she'll never ever have to make amends.

I agree that the interviews have made things worse and it's further proof that S2 will be more of the same but even if you watch the series and don't pay attention to what the creators are saying the message that she's a good girl is still there.

In the first two episodes they call her evil and a villain but post-ep3 she's considered a good girl. Throughout ep3 she keeps talking about how bad she's had it, how much she's suffered, how much more she knows than him and Loki's position on Asgard and in his family is framed as a privileged one (the talk about Frigga as if she was so good for him and not an enabler in his mistreatment + "I don't think I've ever walked this much in my life" - "That's a pretty good life").

Everything he tries goes wrong, he makes a fool of himself in the train, he destroys the Tempad, she's positioned to be smarter and more capable than him and he's completely infatuated by her. Then ep4 starts with a sob story and she's supposed to be good because she doesn't want to rule the TVA, she just wants to take it down, not to mention that once they're arrested she's never punished for anything, she just sits smugly in a room all by herself.

She's good based on her intent even though her actions prove she's a villain, while at the same time Loki's intent never matters because people only define him by his worst mistakes.

And of course ep5 with Mobius' apology where she's calling him out for his actions but when it's her turn to confront hers she says "I did what I had to do". That answer is not just Sylvie acting all self-righteous, that's the writers making a statement.

And while Kang does call her a villain he's the big bad, right? We're not supposed to believe him and frankly her being called one when every single action she takes is framed as good and righteous... it's ridiculous.

They should have let her be a villain and proud of it, it would have made such an interesting story to use her as a mirror to finally prove that Loki was never one to begin with...

[triptuckers]

Two Homes (part 1/7) - Nikolai Lantsov

Request: nope! Pairing:  Nikolai Lantsov x reader  Summary:  you live in Ketterdam, and your life is alright. things get excited however, when you receive royal mail Warnings: none Word count:  2K A/N: first time doing a (mini) series and I am ✨ nervous ✨ but this idea has been sitting in my drafts for too long and I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m planning on writing seven parts :) enjoy reading!  PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART TAG LIST: @godsofwriting @im-constantly-fangirling add yourself to my tag lists here 

You would always be torn between leaving Ketterdam, and staying in the city. You have a good life, it’s comfortable. Given that your father is one of the wealthiest merchants of the city, you could basically get anything you wanted. You had more money than you could possibly spend in one lifetime.

But still, you weren’t happy. Your father may have a lot of kruge, he certainly didn’t have a heart of gold. All your life you’ve known him as a greedy, rude and unfair man. You’d give up all of your kruge in a blink of an eye if you could trade it for a different life. 

Your friends didn’t understand. They told you to be grateful. That many would kill to live in a mansion like you do, and to have the amounts of money your family has. But you had learned wealth doesn’t always mean happiness.

For years, you watched as your father treated people like garbage, simply because they didn’t have enough money in his eyes. He’d blackmail people, or worse. You couldn’t stand it.

Which is why you decided to join the Dregs a couple of years ago. In secret, of course. Your father doesn’t know. You took every precaution necessary to prevent him from finding out. You’d rather not find out all the things he’d be capable of. 

With the help of the Crows, you’d been stealing small bits of your father’s fortune. You either give it to the Dregs or transfer it to your own personal bank account, one your father didn’t have access to. 

To keep your identity a secret, only a few Dregs know your true identity. You use a fake name and whenever you’re at the Crow Club or the Slat, you wear your hood pulled down as low as possible, hiding your face from curious eyes. All precautions because you know all too well what gang members would do with a rich merchant’s daughter. 

You like hanging out at the Crow Club. Mostly because the Crows don’t treat you like a merchant’s daughter. They treat you like, well, Y/N. To them, you’re one of their own. And you’re glad they’re your friends. 

The Crow Club is also a place where you can relax. At home, you’re always on your toes, keeping a close eye on your father. He had the annoying habit of marching into your room unannounced. When you told him you wanted a lock on your door, he merely laughed it away. 

So, yes, you’d prefer the Crow Club full of thieves, gamblers and other criminals to the mansion you live in.

Of course, your father doesn’t know you spend most of your time at the Club. You take longer walks, you make sure you’re not followed, and conceal your face whenever you make your way to the Barrel. 

Once inside the Club, you walk to your usual table, and there’d always be someone around to join you.

Right now, you’re sitting at the table with Nina and Jesper. Enjoying a drink and a game of cards. You’re happy to be amongst your friends, laughing at their jokes and beating them at cards.

You look up when you see a familiar redhead approach your table.

‘Hi Wylan!’ you say as you enthusiastically wave at him. Wylan smiles at you as he sits down next to Jesper. Jesper raises his hand at the bartender to order another round of drinks as Wylan shrugs off his coat.

‘I’ve got something for you.’ says Wylan, while looking at you.

You raise your eyebrows in question as you finish your drink. ‘Watch out, Jesper, I might steal your boyfriend.’ you chuckle.

‘Oh, no, you won’t.’ says Jesper, reaching out and pulling Wylan's chair closer to his own, making Wylan blush.

‘He’s going to ask me out on a date, I can see it on his face.’ you say, failing to keep a straight face. 

‘What? No!’ says Wylan, looking from you to Jesper. ‘No, I’m not asking you out on a date, I’ve got a letter for you.’ 

You frown. ‘You’ve got a letter for me?’ you say. ‘Why wasn’t it just delivered to my house?’

‘I don’t know.’ says Wylan. ‘Someone stopped me in the street and told met to give it to you. They said it was urgent.’

‘How did they know you knew where to find me?’ you ask him as you take your new drink the bartender passes you.

Wylan shrugs. ‘I don’t know. She had a pretty heavy Ravkan accent, though. I tried to read the address to confirm it was yours, but I couldn't.’ he says. You notice a slight blush on his cheeks, but ignore it.

‘Is the letter from Ravka as well?’ you say.

‘I think so.’ says Wylan, finally pulling the letter out of his coat pocket. ‘I mean, it’s got a pretty distinctive seal on the back of it.’ 

Before you can ask him anything else, Jesper snatches the letter out of Wylan’s hand, looking at it. 

‘Why would a Ravkan send you a letter?’ he chuckles, flipping the envelope around in his hands. When his eyes fall on the seal, they widen. ‘Correction.’ says Jesper, while looking at you. ‘Why would a Lantsov send you a letter?’

Now your eyes widen as well. ‘What?’ you say. ‘That has to be some kind of joke.’

You lean over the table and take the envelope out of Jesper’s hands. You take another sip of your drink as you look at the seal on the back of it. Indeed, the Lantsov double eagle is on it. 

‘Nina.’ you say, turning to her next to you and handing her the envelope so she can look at it as well. ‘Do you have any idea as to why your king would send me a letter?’ 

Nina looks at the seal as well, running a finger over it. ‘I don’t know.’ she says. ‘But this looks like a legitimate seal, though. It’s on the ones I get as well. I don’t get a lot of them, but I do recognise that seal. This isn’t a fake.’

She hands it back to you and your flip it over in your hand. When you look up, you see all three of your friends looking at you. 

‘Why would he send me a letter, though?’ you wonder out loud. ‘And how does he even know I exist? Or where to find me?’

‘Well, after all, you are a merchant’s daughter.’ says Jesper.

‘Shh!’ you quickly say. ‘We’re still in the Crow Club, Jes!’

Jesper quickly apologises, looking around to see if anyone heard him. But the people around you are too caught up in their own drinks and games to have heard anything you were saying. 

‘But why would the king of Ravka keep track of Kerch merchants? He only approaches the merchant council for loans. And if he needs to contact them, he sends letters directly to the members of the council.’ you say. 

‘Well, you won’t know until you open it.’ says Nina. ‘Besides, what’s the worst that could happen? He doesn’t even know you.’

‘You’ve got a point.’ you say. ‘And I can’t deny I'm curious.’

Slowly, you open the envelope, pulling out a short letter. You’re well aware of all of their eyes on you as you read the message.

“Dear miss Y/F/N Y/L/N,

My name is Nikolai Lantsov (as you probably would have guessed upon seeing the wax seal on the envelope), I’ll spare the ink and not name all of my titles. Though my triumvirate would like me to. 

I am writing you to tell you I am hosting a ball, one week from now, at the Grand Palace in Os Alta, Ravka. You are hereby invited to attend said ball, at the end of which I will choose a bride.

I await your response, and I promise there will be good wine.

Yours sincerely,

King Nikolai Lantsov, of Ravka”

You read the letter over and over again, trying to get the words to sink in. Nikolai Lantsov himself wrote you an invitation. To a ball at the Grand Palace. And he’d choose a bride. Someone to be his queen.

You snort and throw the letter on the table.

‘Well, that was interesting to read.’ you say.

Jesper moves to pick up the letter, but Nina is faster. Wylan and Jesper lean in closer, and she softly reads the letter out loud. You see looks of surprise and confusion on their faces as Nina reads the letter.

When she’s done, they all look at you in confusion. You chuckle and take the letter from Nina’s hands, folding it and tucking it in your pocket. 

‘Do you think I could sell this to the highest bidder?’ you say. ‘It’s got an authentic Lantsov signature on it.’

‘Why on earth would you do that?’ says Jesper.

You look at him. ‘You don’t seriously think I’ll go?’ you say.

‘Duh!’ says Jesper. ‘Why not? Y/N, this is a king. And he’s inviting you to a ball. You could become queen!’

‘I have no intention of becoming queen.’ you say, finishing your drink. ‘Besides, I don’t want to leave Ketterdam.’

‘I bet Os Alta is a whole lot nicer than Ketterdam, though.’ says Wylan.

‘And have a servant do every little thing for me? Eat the finest food all day every month? Go to balls and war meetings? No thank you.’ you say.

‘Why do you talk about it as if it’s a bad thing?’ says Wylan.

‘Because I told you, I have no intention of going to a ball and becoming queen. If you’re asking me, I think writing that letter was a waste of ink and paper.’ you tell them. ‘Besides, if he’s smart, he’s going to marry a Fjerdan or Shu princess to establish an alliance. Even if I wanted to go, there’s no way he’d pick an ordinary Kerch merchant’s daughter to be his queen.’

‘A word of advice?’ says Nina. 

You look at her and motion for her to keep on talking. 

‘I’ve met Nikolai several times. He’s a good man. Would it really be that bad to even attend? You’re not agreeing to marrying him, you’re just going to a ball. Why not give him a chance?’ she says.

‘Because I think balls are a waste of time. And money. And simply because I don’t want to play dress up and act like a perfect daughter.’ you say, getting up and putting on your coat.

‘At least think about it?’ says Nina.

‘For your sake, I will.’ you say. ‘I’ll even pretend like I haven’t made my decision yet.’

‘It’ll be great for your reputation!’ says Jesper as you move through the crowd toward the door.

‘I’m not going to Os Alta!’ you yell at him over your shoulder. When you’re at the door, you wave goodbye at them and head outside. It’s a particular cold night, and you wrap your coat tighter around you and pull your hood further down.

Somehow the invitation feels like lead as it sits in your pocket. So Nikolai Lantsov himself invited you to the Grand Palace. Though you’re flattered, you’ve already made up your mind. 

You’re not going to Os Alta. After all, what could be waiting for you there that you couldn’t find in Ketterdam? You’ve got very good friends here, plenty of kruge, and you live in a mansion. 

Surely Os Alta couldn’t offer you more than that?

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

[aerkan]

✨Darkolai supremacy!!✨

!!!!!SPOILERS!!!!!!!

Okay, so I just finished reading the Nikolai duology and... what even was that?! Hello?! I will look away from the hypocrisy and Aleksander slander throughout the whole first and second books, otherwise I’m gonna go mad from frustration. But I can’t let one thing go, why is suddenly EVERY. SINGLE. THING. Darkling’s fault? Like... how are the wars his fault? How is Ravkan economic crisis (which was there even before the Civil war) just his fault? How is Shu-Han and Fjerdan animosity towards Ravka his fault? He didn’t make them hate you! He was working for CENTURIES for Ravka and Grisha. He died for that very same reason (he believed he could protect his people only one way and died fighting for that way, he was not some evil scheming Disney villain - he was a revolutionary leader of an oppressed group, who got tired of the “nice” way and went nuclear) and I will not take any slander of his character. NOPE! Sorry LB, but if you wanted me to hate his ass, you shouldn’t have made him the only person fighting for the oppressed ones. Because when you do that, I stop caring about collateral casualties, which names I don’t even know, that he decided to sacrifice during a f*cking WAR. As a member of an oppressed group myself, I can’t see people from minorities siding with the “heroes”, especially those people that had to fight for their rights and freedom. (just my opinion honestly)

Alright I’m done with defending the Darkling (not really). With everything being said and done in the whole series for this moment, I can only say one thing: Aleksander deserved better. Not only did LB kill him, but she also doomed him to eternal suffering... I just. How can you hate a character you yourself brought to life so much? And he didn’t even get to be recognised by the main characters as anything else than just THE BIG BAD VILLAIN. I’m sorry, but Zoya, are you stupid? IF HE DIDN’T DO IT, YOU AND YOUR WHOLE WORLD WHOULD BE SCREWED! What I’m trying to get to here is, that Sasha was way too good for my girl Alina. She just straight up didn’t do anything for her people, only made it worse, and f*cked away to play house in her stupid little meadow (yes, I’m still salty about those flashbacks. 37 times is enough, don’t you think?!) She was the only Sunsummoner and she just... didn’t care about anything other than destroying the Fold and running away with Malware to raise orphans. THE. HEROES. DIDN’T. DO. SHIT. FOR. GRISHA! They, ultimately, made it worse for them and themselves. How exactly is stopping obligatory drafting gonna help with that war you are fighting? Hmmmmmmm????

So with all this getting on my nerves, I came up with excellent solution to this stupidity. DARKOLAI. Okay, okay hear me out! They are perfect! Aleksander will be his cold logic, protectively possessive, I show love through murder usual self and Nikolai will be the bright funny kind compassionate self. But Nikolai is older than Alina, has connection with Grisha already, served in the First army (was in battles and saw the real war - I’m sorry but cartographer probably doesn’t end up with a gun on the battlefield very often) and is capable of doing the necessary thing even when it’s not morally correct. They would discus the best course of action, then make out, sleep together and face king’s court in the morning. And there would be the sweet sweet friendship between Aleks and Alina that I’m craving!!! They could talk boys together! No stupid Civil war, just Grisha magic shenanigans, politic dilema, Genya Alina and Aleks talking shit about every male inside the Little palace, and sometimes little murder!

YOU CAN KEEP MALINA IF YOU WANT IT SO MUCH LB, BUT GIVE US POLITICIAN HUSBANDS AT LEAST DAMN IT!

[vintagemulti]

Unfinished Business

pairings: peter parker x reader

next part

desc: peter’s sudden death leaves more than a hole in your heart; his unfinished bucket list.

warnings: death, major character death, talk of blood and injuries, car crash, sudden death, funeral, angst for days, crying(?), grieving, talk of alcohol, drugs and/or medication

a/n: loosely based on “11 minutes” by YUNGBLUD cause i listened to it and thought PETER ANGST. this will be a series too, so be ready for that!! requests open, leave feedback <3

masterlist

“Hey baby, I’m about eleven minutes away, I’ll see you soon.” You sighed into the phone, being sent to the answering machine again. Another date that Peter was lined up to miss.

You understood why he would miss dates, being a superhero and all, but it didn’t make it any easier. Peter had been your boyfriend for long enough - about 4 years now - for you to realise when he would flake out.

The only thing that made this worse? It was Peter’s birthday. His 19th birthday. You had made plans to go out for dinner, see a movie and spend the night at May’s, but right now it was looking like the whole night was off.

Shivering a little, you pulled your thin cardigan closer, the normally warm August weather beginning to chill. Something wasn’t right.

I’m almost at the restaurant, you close? xx

You text him again, still not seeing him come online. It shouldn’t have seemed weird - he was driving after all. Peter was big on safe driving, and of course that meant not being on your phone.

But you knew Peter’s car - gifted to him by Tony when he got his license - was one of the new tech-heavy cars. Which mean he had hands-free calling and texting.

Peter never ignored you.

Approaching the restaurant, you began to feel a little anxious, eyeing the clock across the road. Peter was late, and you had that feeling in your gut. That bad feeling.

You pulled out your phone again, clicking on Peter’s contact and pressing call. To your surprise, it didn’t even ring - going straight to answer phone. Had his phone died? Really?

At least ten minutes went by as you waited, constantly looking at the road for Peter to magically pull up, apologetic for being late. But he never did.

Would he really be late for his own birthday dinner? No. You knew him well enough to know that birthdays were extremely important to Peter, something he’d never skip - not by choice anyway.

That could be it, you thought, pulling out your phone yet again, but this time dialling Tony’s number.

“Yo.” He answered after two rings.

“Hey, Tony, it’s Y/N.”

“Hey, kid. What’s up?”

You swallowed. “Are you with Peter? His phone’s going straight to voicemail and he’s like 20 minutes late to our dinner.”

“Uh,” Tony sighed. “Nope. Peter’s not been here since this morning, when he came to pick up his birthday present. Sorry, kiddo.”

You sighed as well, thanking Tony and hanging up. Had he forgotten? Surely not, Peter had never forgot a date, only missed them. He barely missed them these days too, since graduating he hadn’t-

Your phone ringing broke the thought.

Reading the caller ID, it came up as “withheld”. Weird.

“Hello?” You lifted it to your ear.

“Is this Y/N L/N?” It was a woman.

“Uh, yeah? Who’s this?”

“This is Officer Laurel Bridge, do you know a Peter Parker?” The officer spoke through the phone, her tone a mix of demanding and soft.

“Yeah,” You mumbled. “He’s late for our date right now, why?”

You heard Laurel sigh. “You need to come to New York general Hospital. Peter’s been in an accident.”

Time stopped. You let your hand fall from your ear, the voice of the Officer slowly fading. That’s why he was late. You already felt your eyes sting, tears appearing.

No. He was fine. He was ok, he has to be. His spidey-sense would tell him if he was about to get hit He was ok, just a broken leg or something.

You swallowed the tears back, taking a shaky breath as you stepped away from the restaurant, walking in the direction of NY general. Luckily, it was only a short walk away, but when time was moving as slowly as it was for you, it felt like a lifetime.

Approaching the doors, you looked around for anyone who might be waiting for you, and when you saw no one, you took another deep breath and walked into the hospital.

Walking up to the reception desk, the man in front of you was describing a broken arm, and when he walked away the receptionist smiled up at you.

“What can I do for you?”

“I’m-” Your voice cracked. “I’m looking for Peter Parker? He- He was in an accident.”

The receptionist took a breath. “He’s in the ER right now, who are you to him?”

“Uh- I’m his girlfriend, Y/N L/N.” You mumbled, too focused on the fact that Peter was in the emergency room.

She nodded. “His Aunt is here if you want to wait with her. She’s just in the hall, to your right.”

You mumbled a thank you, moving towards the hall she gestured to, heading your heels click against the flooring. You were overdressed for a hospital.

“May!” You breathed, seeing her sitting near the end of the corridor.

“Oh, Y/N!” She stood up, half jogging towards you, engulfing you in a hug.

“What happened? Is he ok?” You asked, sitting next to her.

“He was driving to meet you, and- and he was going through the lights, and someone ran a red. Hit him right on the drivers side.”

Your eyes began to sting again. He had to be ok. He had to be. “Will he be ok?”

“Yeah, of course! Probably just a little scratched up, the ER is probably a precaution.” May nodded, half trying to convince herself, half trying to convince you.

Every minute in the hospital felt like an hour. Time moved a lot slower, every door that opened, everyone who walked past, every announcement over the tannoys seemed louder - harsher. You hated hospitals.

You had been waiting with May for around 30 minutes when Tony and Pepper showed up, looking just as worried. Tony must be an emergency contact.

They made small talk, but you hardly replied, too focused on praying for every and any god to make him be ok. Every second he spent in the ER made you less and less sure that it was just a few scrapes.

Another half hour passed, although it felt like years. Your nerves began to get the best of you, your hands were shaking and sweaty, hair messed up from all the times you raked your fingers through it. He had to be ok.

In that half hour, a few more people showed up. Ned, MJ, Steve, Nat, Clint and Thor all walking in, looking just as concerned as the rest of you. Thor had continually asked his Gods to give Peter strength, Steve had tried to console May, who was crying now.

You knew that Peter wasn’t ok. Who is in the ER for an hour with a broken leg? No. You wouldn’t let yourself think it. He could be... Could he?

A nurse pushed open the door to the ER, immediately catching everyone in the hallways attention. “Family of.. Peter Parker?”

You nodded.

“I’m so sorry. We did everything we could, but he didn’t make it - he lost too much blood. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

If you listened closely enough, you would have heart your heart fall to the floor and shatter.

“No,” You mumbled, shaking your head. “No, no, no. He isn’t- he can’t- no, no- no..”

“I’m sorry. There was nothing else we could do.”

You felt the world collapse in on you. Peter was dead. He was gone. He wasn’t coming back.

The tears fell quicker than you realised, and you felt a pair of arms hold you back, clearly sensing that you would have ran into the ER to prove she was lying. Looking up, you saw that is was Thor.

“No!” You screamed, legs giving out. “He’s not, Peter isn’t dead!”

Thor fell with you, holding you as you sobbed, mumbling ‘no’ over and over. You could hear May crying too. She had lost everyone, now. Her last remaining family taken from her.

“No,” You cried. “I want to see him.”

The nurse furrowed her brows. “Are you sure? Like 100% sure?”

You nodded. “I have to- I have to make sure.”

“Alright.” The nurse breathed, knowing it was better not to argue with people like this. “Follow me,”

You stood, feeling your knees shake under your weight. Maybe if you saw him, Peter wouldn’t be gone. He would wake up. He had to.

Following the nurse past the ER, she took you into a quieter corridor, and you read the sign as ‘mortuary’. She pushed open a door near the end of the corridor, and held it open for you.

It was cold in the room. The lights hurt your eyes, and the fan was too loud. It was hell.

Your eyes fell on the body in the middle of the room, immediately widening. You approached him, taking in the sight.

Peter looked worse that you’d ever seen him, even after a rough patrol. His eyes were outlined by rings of blue and purple, a few gashes over his brows and forehead.

But he didn’t look dead.

“My baby,” You cried, taking another step. “Please, wake up.”

The nurse mumbled something from behind you, although the words rang through your head, you knew it was something about being able to touch him.

“Please..” You sobbed, placing a hand on his cheek.

He didn’t look dead - but he felt it. Peter was cold, colder than you’d ever felt him before. It broke your heart.

“Please, for me,” Tears fell onto his face as you leaned over. “Please wake up, baby.”

But he didn’t. He wouldn’t. You knew that from the lack of movement in his chest, the lack of breath. He was gone.

“I need you, Pete.” You mumbled, moving one of his curls off of his forehead.

You stared at him for a moment more, conflicted feelings about your next move.

Leaning down a little more, you hesitated before pressing one last kiss to his lips - a part of you hoping that true loves kiss was real.

It isn’t.

“I can’t- I can’t do this I-” You stumbled back, the gravity finally hitting you. Peter was dead. The love of your life, gone. Taken from you in a moment.

“It’s alright, don’t worry. You can leave any time.” The nurse smiled at you, clearly trying to provide some warmth into the cold room.

You nodded, wiping at your nose with the sleeve of your jacket. “I need to leave.”

The nurse took you back out the same way you came, and you could see the faces of your friends back in the corridor.

MJ and Ned were both crying, but trying to console May - even a little - who was just completely broken. Tony was clearly trying to to cry, instead comforting his wife, who was bawling as well.

Nat, Steve, Bruce and Clint were all talking among themselves, each of them bubbling away.

You knew you shouldn’t have felt angry. You knew they were there to help you, but the situation - and the impossible notion of it all - made you feel like no one except May could possibly understand the pain you were feeling.

“Y/N,” Thor spoke, rising from his seat next to May. He had been crying.

You didn’t reply, only shaking your head at him, walking straight past the group, back to the reception area and out of the hospital doors. You needed air.

Walking onto the busy New York street, the grief began to hit more and more. Peter wasn’t coming back, he was gone. Every touch, every kiss, every night you spent with him under the stars and sneaking into May’s apartment at four in the morning, they all meant nothing. Because Peter was gone.

You had to go home. You couldn’t be here, not right now. Taking a cab wasn’t even an option, so the walk to your house would have to suffice. Normally you’d care about your appearance in public, but that was the last thing on your mind right now. Who cares if a few people saw the smudged mascara and blotchy cheeks?

Home, you thought. It wasn’t home anymore. Not without Peter.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

It had been four days since Peter died. Four long, harsh, ugly days. The world didn’t seem colourful anymore, like everything you loved had been ripped from you - which it pretty much had.

You didn’t even try to go online, knowing all you’d see was sympathy messages and tributes to Spider-Man. But those people didn’t know. They didn’t know Peter like you did, they didn’t know what he looked like in the middle of the night, when you would wake up before him and admire his features for a while. They didn’t know what colleges he applied to. They didn’t know how he touched you, a perfect mix of soft and harsh. They didn’t know him.

It wasn’t fair. Of course it wasn’t fair. Peter was 19 years old - just - when he was taken from you. How would a God allow that? He had so much life ahead of him. It wasn’t fair.

You weren’t even sure that your phone had any charge in it, since you hadn’t even checked it for the whole time. You knew your parents were heading back from their trip early to be there for you, but you were dreading the comments when they got back.

Your parents wanted to be there for you, but they can’t possibly understand what you’re going through. The pain was unbearable, especially when everything was reminding you of Peter.

His scent was still in your sheets, his shampoo was still in your bathroom, toothbrush still there, all the hoodies in the closet that belonged to him- it was too much.

Deciding you needed some water, you stood up from your bed, feeling the warmth of your sheets begin to fade. You approached your kitchen, walking past your front door before you noticed the mail.

You never would have picked it up if you hadn’t saw the familiar handwriting on the front, scrawling out your name and address. It was Peter’s writing.

Picking it up, it was addressed to you. Flipping it over - although there was nothing on the back - you read it a few more times. Was that Peter’s writing or were you imagining things?

Pulling the envelope open, you saw a few sheets of paper inside, as well as five smaller envelopes. This was weird.

Looking for any distraction to your grief, you moved to the kitchen, sitting at your kitchen island and taking the paper out of the envelope.

There was a double sided letter, five small envelopes and a set of keys. What?

You went for the letter first, breath hitching in your throat as you read it;

Y/N,

If you’re reading this, I’m dead. I’m sorry, baby. I wanted to leave this with a friend for the event of my sudden death, something Mr Fury recommended when I joined the Avengers. If I died on a mission, please don’t blame the guys. It isn’t their fault.

If I died on earth, please don’t blame yourself. There’s nothing that can stop death, my love.

Anyway, the point of this is kinda simple. I know you’re probably sad right now, and I don’t want you to be. You’re always beautiful, but seeing you cry breaks my heart. Please don’t cry.

Since I was twelve, I’ve had a bucket list. There were about 42 things on it, most of them completed by the time I’m writing this. When Mr Fury advised this, I decided that I was going to do.

I want you to finish my bucket list. When I’m writing this, I have 7 things left on the list, and maybe when I die there won’t be any left. That would be unfortunate.

I have all of the things in envelopes (see enclosed) and as I complete them I take them out, so however many envelopes you have is how many things I never completed.

The reason I want you to complete the list is because I trust you the most, Y/N. I believe that you’ll finish the tasks.

Now, there are a few rules to this. It’s kinda simple, some are for your own benefit.

Rule one: Don’t spend more than $200 on each task - and don’t let Mr Stark give you money, either.

Rule two: Complete every task to the best of your ability, in any way you see fit. This is your bucket list now, I want you to do what feels right.

Rule three: Every task must be completed with a friend. I don’t want you to be alone.

That’s all of them. Yet again, most of them are for your own benefit, but if you elect to ignore them, that’s cool too. I don’t mind.

I’m sorry I can’t be there with you. But know something, angel. I will never leave you. I will be by your side forever, even if I’m not physically there. You’re my forever, Y/N. I’m with you - always.

I love you always,

Peter x

P.S - the keys are for number 40

If your heart wasn’t already broken, this would have done the trick.

Maybe it would help, you thought. Help you feel closer to Peter, even if he couldn’t be there with you.

You put the letter down, moving to look at the envelopes. They were numbered - 1, 21, 5, 9 and 40. They must have been the unfinished tasks.

Deciding to go in number order, you picked up number one, about to open it when you remembered the rule.

Walking back into your bedroom, you picked up your phone off the bedside table, seeing it had about 11% left. That would be enough.

Looking for the contact, you wondered how you were about to word your question. Any way of putting it would be weird.

“Hello?” The voice picked up.

“Hey, Thor,” You breathed into the phone, grateful he answered. “Are you free this week? I need a friend for something.”

[shihalyfie]

Daisuke and Ken’s dynamic, and what Ken does for Daisuke in return

Everyone in the main 02 cast can be said to be a little surface-deceptive in some way, and so, even with Daisuke and Ken as the relationship at the forefront of 02′s story, there’s still more going on behind it than first glance would initially make you suspect. It’s all too easy to just take the surface reading and decide that Daisuke is some kind of saint whom Ken is singularly dependent on for his happiness (which would really be quite the unhealthy relationship), or, worse, shove them into the stereotypical BL tropes just because they’re the two at the front, even though the story practically went out of its way to depict them as unusual characters who don’t fit into those kinds of boxes as easily.

Even though it wasn’t stated outright in words, Ken did a lot for Daisuke in return, and there’s a lot of layers to their relationship to each other both in the series and in going forward after it.

What Daisuke does for Ken

That Daisuke and Ken have very “complementary” personalities goes without saying, but this applies to both their surface demeanors and what lies beneath them. Daisuke has an abrasive surface demeanor and a tendency to get defensive, but isn’t actually very assertive at all; on the other hand, Ken is more polite and ostensibly “soft”, but is significantly more assertive than Daisuke is. This also means that, while it would of course be foolhardy to pretend that Ken could easily shrug off all of his trauma, it’s also conversely reductive to shove the two of them into boxes where Ken is a constant crybaby angsting over everything bad that’s happened to him while Daisuke’s the only ray of sunshine who can get him out of it. A lot of Ken’s strength in the series is self-supplied; he of course does end up needing the others’ support at times, but extreme readings like this really don’t give the kid enough credit for how good he is at gritting his teeth and pushing on without anyone prompting him.

The initial problem, however, is that Ken is too assertive about the wrong things at first. Like, say, in 02 episode 26, when he assertively says that he’s going to...recklessly chuck himself into an exploding reactor! For the third quarter of the series, Ken deliberately tries to keep his distance from others, and is very clear and open about his reasons why: in his mind, it’s his responsibility, and the others shouldn’t have to be involved. He doesn’t want their friendship, he doesn’t even think he deserves their friendship, and here’s Daisuke going “okay, yeah, but that’s stupid, shut up and let us help you.”

Adventure and 02 have a strong thread of driving it home that “doing things on sheer principle eventually becomes pointless when it gets in the way of being practical” -- and Daisuke, being a simple-minded and “straightforward” person who doesn’t overthink things, is basically there to keep Ken’s focus back on the proper picture. Because yeah, Ken can attempt to do things like frame things in terms of whether he “deserves” all of this, or “whose responsibility” this all is -- but the fact of the matter is that Daisuke and his friends want to do something and help instead of being sitting ducks about it, Ken’s practically not going to be able to do this alone, and, well, that’s the base of their first Jogress in 02 episode 26! Ken says outright that his goal is to do something to help, but then decides that “helping” should involve suicidally chucking himself into an exploding reactor, and Daisuke, hearing out Ken’s troubles, reminds him that him dying there won’t actually help the way Ken wants to help, because it won’t leave him alive to do all of the other things he wants to do and will hurt his family even more just when he was starting to repair things with them -- and as much as this extremely suicidal plan might temporarily spare the others from dying in an explosion, Daisuke would have to live with the guilt of letting Ken go off to die like that, so it won’t make him happy either.

So in other words, while Ken’s trying to sort out his complicated feelings of guilt, shame, and sense of responsibility, Daisuke’s there to keep his head on straight and remind him when he’s about to run himself in mental circles. Ken would have easily spent the rest of the series trying to make up for what he did even without Daisuke’s help, because he’s such a strong believer in “the right thing to do”, but his way of going on about it would have involved him staying in isolation out of a perceived sense of responsibility, endangering himself out of a sense of self-sacrifice, drowning himself in self-blame and feelings of regret, and, eventually, not addressing the very gaping hole in his life that he very much needs emotional support from others right now.

One thing particularly interesting about the Japanese version of 02 is that, for nearly the entirety of the second half of the series, Ken only refers to Daisuke as “Motomiya”, which is surprising given the fact that he employs given-name basis with the others quite quickly. Ken eventually does commit to “Daisuke” after the series in almost all post-02 material, and this image fits the two so well that pretty much every doujinshi artist has caught onto it despite it not being there all that much in the actual series, but it really took him a while; what gives? (Daisuke himself committed to “Ken” from surname basis “Ichijouji” starting in 02 episode 39.) Well, the important distinction is that Ken dropped the honorific with him from very early on -- meaning that he did want to approach Daisuke with a little bit of casual bluntness in a way beyond the distant respect he treated the others with, but at the time, going straight to buddy-buddy on given name with no honorific at all would have been a bit too much for him, and it comes off as him almost deliberately giving off a sense of distance. Why?

Ken didn’t have too much of an opinion on each individual kid in the group until 02 episode 8, when he developed a particular hatred for Daisuke for “ruining his pride” and decided to emotionally torture him a bit. Then, come 02 episode 25, this same kid approached him with no sense of grudge whatsoever, and presents him with a completely different way of seeing things: “whatever you did in the past, you’re clearly trying to help now, which means we’re now on the same side, so we should work together.” It’s pragmatic; it’s extremely pragmatic, and it’s not like Daisuke was working off of blind optimism and trust as much as he observed, very practically, that Ken was clearly trying to do better now and that therefore they should work together and make use of it. This kind of thought pattern is completely alien to Ken’s “I deserve/don’t deserve this” mentality at this point of this series, and by all standards of his own logic Daisuke should be one of the people who hates him the most, and yet -- nope!

By the time of their Jogress, Ken of course understands that Daisuke’s trying very hard to communicate with him, and thus they develop a sort of rapport -- but they’re not quite friends yet at the level of truly being “comfortable” with each other, because most of the second half of the series involved circumstances where Daisuke was helping Ken through a very emotionally hard time. It’s only at the point of the Christmas party in 02 episode 38 when Ken can really think about having these kids as real friends in terms of socializing and not just people who are willing to work with him in his penance journey. It’s enough that Ken’s able to admit that he wants the help of Daisuke in 02 episode 44, when beforehand he’d been trying to keep everyone out of what he’d perceived as his business. And, as Ken’s slowly more exposed to Daisuke’s way of life and its influence on the rest of the group around him, he comes to understand that maybe having a “close friend who can support him” isn’t that bad after all, since it’s not like these friends are just being “open-minded” towards him; they really are there to support him and his actual feelings and welfare, not just “cutting him slack” because he’s helping.

And so, with that, once the crisis is resolved and all is said and done, Ken finally truly accepts Daisuke as his friend and moves him up to given-name basis (no honorific!). This is most prominently shown in Diablomon Strikes Back, where their interactions are now removed from the question of Ken’s former actions and his emotional problems, and it turns out, they’re still good friends in the sense that friends are. As in, people who laugh together, hang out together, converse with each other casually; even if they are working together on the same thing for the duration of the movie, it’s not such an emotionally tense situation that you could chalk their interactions up to sheer necessity. With Daisuke’s help, Ken was able to move on from all of his past hangups, and the two of them became able to enjoy the moment of “now” like normal children.

What Ken does for Daisuke

Daisuke may be simple-minded enough to not have deep-seated concerns that eat at him every day, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was a bit socially maladjusted during the early parts of the series. Namely, being really insecure and prone to getting defensive whenever he felt he was being made fun of. Those kinds of things were what was most likely to get Daisuke to “lash out” at others, because he slips into his worst bouts of these whenever he’s lacking in validation.

Daisuke was, undoubtedly, improving over the course of the series, with him slowly starting to become more assertive by the time of 02 episode 20. It’s incorrect to say that Ken was the only person who could truly help him with this; 02 is a series about a group dynamic after all (even if the Jogress pairs are the most instrumental in helping each other), and it would be a pretty unhealthy relationship if one person were so dependent on another to even remotely function. But starting in 02 episode 22, when the crisis is momentarily resolved and everyone’s not sure what to do, Daisuke’s feeling of being third wheeled by Takeru and Hikari shoots up right at the moment everyone’s feeling a bit lacking in purpose. Two episodes later, Miyako immediately stages an intervention to help keep his mind off of things, and she’s arguably even the most comfortable with him at this point in time.

It’s not that Daisuke isn’t improving, nor that his friends aren’t trying to help, but, well...emotionally sensitive as Miyako can be, she’s also a bit all over the place herself and sometimes needs restraining; Hikari may be assertive, but she’s pretty obviously apprehensive about shutting Daisuke down too bluntly, and Takeru being so hard to read and evasive about everything means that Daisuke can’t really tell what he’s thinking or understand his intentions; Iori is younger and is restraining himself, so he still won’t cross certain lines with Daisuke. So as you can see, they’re all doing their best, and they’re not doing a terrible job of it either; hell, the rest of the series involves them maturing into people who can better interact with and support each other, so their own relationships with Daisuke are likely to improve even well after the series ends. It’s just that, especially at this point in the series, there’s definitely room for an extra person to fill a certain niche that’s got a gaping void here, begging for someone who’s assertive and put-together enough to regularly keep Daisuke in check, yet also willing to be properly straightforward with him to the extent that he doesn’t have to feel insecure about their intentions. Hmm, who could that be?

Although “the priority of reaching out to Ken” eventually becomes enough of a distraction that it certainly takes Daisuke’s mind off potentially feeling insecure, as we start to see more “casual” interactions between Daisuke and Ken, we see that Ken actually fills in a lot of the gaps that had been so sorely missing in this group dynamic for a while. Forward-thinking as he is, Daisuke’s simple-minded way of going at things has its drawbacks in that he’s not very smart or good at thinking, but Ken is the opposite, being intellectually analytical and much more thoughtful overall, and since Daisuke is the kind of person who defers to others when they’re better than him at something, Ken being right next to him means that he can give him a hand in making important decisions he can’t by himself. This is especially so in Diablomon Strikes Back, when Ken’s role is largely keeping an eye on Daisuke and making sure he’s not a loose cannon -- something he’s very capable of doing -- but also simply being there as a springboard whom Daisuke can comfortably approach and talk to, since Ken is such a mild-mannered, straightforward person who won’t set off his overly defensive tendencies as easily.

That doesn’t mean that Ken is completely above teasing him, of course -- a lot of post-02 material in fact makes sure you understand that he’s not just some soft-hearted saint and can be quite the snarker when he wants, since his increased comfort level with Daisuke means he’s now able to poke at him here and there, even doing something as mean as dumping all of the Christmas shopping on him (the character songs and other related in-character material lie in questionably canonical territory, but that kind of punchline is not unreasonable to imagine given their respective personalities). But, overall, he sets the right tone for Daisuke to have a friend he’s able to be around regularly and receive support from, and to fill in that niche of his casual interactions so that Daisuke can have some more solid grounding in his life.

It’s also a testament to how much Ken himself had changed in terms of becoming the kind of person who could handle Daisuke like this. When the two of them first “met” in 02 episode 8, while Ken was still fully under the influence of the Dark Seed, even if we were to put the part about him being the Kaiser aside, this sort of person would never be able to become a good friend to Daisuke. This episode had Daisuke put him on a pedestal -- someone he’ll never be able to be as good as, whom he looks up to as an “idol”, much like the way Daisuke has a tendency to instinctively put himself down in uplifting others. Thus, it was a negative relationship for both of them; Ken being put on a pedestal that ultimately made him uncomfortable, and Daisuke contributing to putting him there in the first place, and taking it extra personally when that pedestal was shattered. But then, Daisuke himself (and, ultimately, the rest of the group) became able to treat Ken like the “normal person” he wanted to be, with no pedestals, simply considering him as a friend with his own feelings and needs; as a result, being this sort of “normal person” making friends through his true personality and desire to support others meant paved the way for him becoming the one person who was best equipped to deal with the very difficult-to-handle Daisuke.

Incidentally, in terms of Kizuna: considering how 02 was such a series about everyone becoming people who could fundamentally interact and communicate better with others, it stands to reason that everyone’s relationships with each other would uniformly improve even after the events of 02, and you can see better interactions between everyone that go beyond just the Jogress pairs. Ken’s clearly able to interact with more of the people in the group in a much more casual manner than he did in 02 itself, and it’s made an important point in the drama CD that Daisuke took everyone’s incidental advice to heart, not just Ken’s. However, advertising material still prominently features the two as a pair, and although part of this is of course due to marketing, Ken is also the one who gets the final words in extracting his “promise” from Daisuke in the drama CD; the official website also calls special attention to him being the one to accompany Daisuke on his ramen outings, even though the one depicted in the drama CD and movie was planned to involve everyone in the group. There are multiple indications that Daisuke himself has learned to become somewhat less defensive and prone to insecurity compared to himself in 02, and it seems that this was accomplished via Ken still actively putting himself in a role of checking on him and making sure he feels properly supported in all of this.

[haleigh-sloth]

Some people are missing the point of the word “redemption”.

I took a nap at 8pm and now at 1am I am suffering the consequences of said nap. 

I wanted to touch on a take/topic I’ve seen lately about how the LOV could have been a villain group who only targeted other villains in order to make it easier to redeem them. I wanted to touch on why I personally don’t see how that would have: A. made it better, and B. made any sense for their characters.

I understand this POV to an extent. Like yeah, if they just killed other “bad people” then it’s easy to redeem and save them. But...that misses the entire point of their existence in the story. I’ve seen this post going around and I want to just go on a bit of a ramble here to address why I don’t see how that particular POV really applies to the villains in BNHA. Like, the linked post makes a valid point in that people often write off the villain characters’ moral code because of their crimes. But like...that’s the point. And now there’s the floating take that the LOV is being shown in this way, to make us view radicals as problematic, and that Horikoshi should have made them vigilante type people to make their redemption easier, and I just don’t see it that way. 

I mean, first of all, the villains’ complaints ARE being shown as valid and are somewhat starting to be addressed. Maybe not perfectly, but I think it’s going to get there in the writing....one of these days.

Making them vigilante-esque doesn’t make sense for their characters and doesn’t address what actually happened to them.

If the villains went around and only killed other “bad people”, I mean at that point they’re not villains, they’re just vigilantes. At that point their role in the narrative is completely changed. The problem with Horikoshi making them that type of villain group is that it wasn’t “bad people”, or people who’ve done worse than them, that did them wrong. It was the average everyday people that wronged them, ignored them, pretended they didn’t exist. The society as a whole. Imo it wouldn’t make sense for their goals to only try to kill other types of “bad people”. (I put "bad people” in quotes because I don’t like that phrasing but you get my point.)

Making them Vigilantes Doesn’t Make Them “Better” or Right

The reason they’re considered “villains” is because they’re killing people, period. It doesn’t matter who they kill, or why. Killing is wrong all around. That’s the whole premise behind them being in the wrong. Their killing is not supposed to help them reach their goal. In fact in the story it never actually gets them anywhere. Their goal is the destruction of society and the people in it, which is wrong. (Although I’d argue that the villains could totally destroy society and I’d be cool with it, just not the innocent people in it!) The LOV are out for justice and revenge. And in many stories, not just BNHA, revenge often leads you down a dark path. BNHA and the LOV are no exception. In my opinion, the villains are 100% right about hero society, but they’re not right about killing. 

To say that they should have been vigilante type villains in order to make it easier to redeem them is just...it doesn’t make sense. It also doesn’t make it better at all. Hawks is a perfect example of that. Hawks killed Twice. Twice killed many other people, but despite that, the narrative still views his death as wrongful (still waiting on those consequences Hori). To say it’s easier to redeem them by only having them target other villains completely negates the fact that Hawks killing Twice was horrible and wrong. 

I mean if we’re going to view this ^^^ as bad, which I do, how is making the villains only target other villains any better? It’s not, truly. It doesn’t change the fact that they are redeemable now just as they are. 

The Whole Point of a Redemption Arc is to Atone for a Crime

I understand being exhausted waiting for the villains to get saved, to get justice, and see a change in the main character’s POV toward heroes and the other heroes change their POVs as well. I do get it because I’m emotionally exhausted too. Why I continue to follow a series that exhausts me idk. (It’s the escape from the numbing existence of everyday life that keeps me invested) But it doesn’t mean that the story would have been any better if the impact of the villains’ crimes were lessened by changing their targets to only other bad apples. 

The villains are getting a path to redemption. Redemption means something bad HAD to happen at the hand of somebody. Maybe even several bad things, at the hands of several somebodies. But now they get to redeem themselves by making up for it somehow. That’s the whole point of a redemption. If you make it to where their crimes are more understandable, “justified”, it’s not really viewed as a redemption....just a change of ways. No real internal change. The LOV needs that internal change. They need to be shown that they have the option of changing internally, and viewing the world around them as redeemable, despite what it’s put them through. 

That internal change is what makes a redemption arc so interesting. It’s what makes it interesting to read and fun to root for. The villains are radical in their beliefs. Those beliefs are being held up to be valid in the story. But they are villains, still. And that’s why they’re getting that path to redemption. To address those complaints that are indeed, valid. 

On another note:

Not that it matters really, but the villains actually were shown taking out more bad apples than innocents tbh. Before the war arc the only mass murders I can remember happening on screen were these fine folk:

And then during this scene, these people were actively trying to kill the LOV..so

And anybody Shigaraki murdered as a child I straight up just don’t even hold him responsible for, at all.

Nope.

Not even a little.

I mean...the LOV has done some vigilante work. Give em credit where credit is due. Lol. End of rant.

[ramblingguy54]

True Colors: An Emotionally Fantastic Serious Game Changer.

If we’re to look back at Reunion as Season 1′s dramatic pay off for Amphibia’s message of toxic friendships, as Anne & Sasha’s conflicting dynamic showed us, then True Colors is a colossal expansive note on this big theme of the series. True Colors makes Season 1′s finale look like a walk in the park for what angst goes down between our three main heroins in Season 2′s climatic resolution. Everything that can go wrong does go oh so painfully wrong for these three kids. Anne, to no one’s surprise, gets double crossed by Sasha leaving things between them a Hell of a lot more bitter than they were previously, as if that couldn’t already be topped when Sasha tried to kill the Plantars before. Anne has had enough of her lies and manipulation not being afraid to tell Sasha straight up how awful of a friend she’s been in general, even hitting her where it hurts most of all saying, “No, I’m done listening to you! I’m done trusting you! You’re a horrible person and I am done being FRIENDS with you!”, going so far as to get a shaken reaction out of Sasha dropping her brave face act, making this girl try to wipe away the frog family.

Right off the bat, True Colors makes it highly evident this isn’t just another story of stopping a bigger threat, but one hitting much closer to home, overall. Yes, King Andrias is certainly a dangerous villain, who makes his presence and intimidating nature known to the others by True Color’s final act, which despite this Amphibia isn’t entirely putting him at the forefront, rather focusing on a more intimate study of Anne, Sasha, and Marcy’s big emotional conflict. This finale knows exactly where to put its focus of importance on, so I love that instead of it being action packed we’re getting the spotlight shined on just how screwed up these three of a friendship have, in spite of Marcy claiming in The Dinner episode, “We’re supposed to be friends for life. We don’t split up!’ . Very ironic stuff right there, indeed.

True Colors’ most powerful strength it adds to Amphibia’s ongoing profound story about healthy friendships is the thorough deconstruction of these girls defined “ideal relationship” as people. Before Anne came to the world of Amphibia this kid was afraid to stand up for what she believed in, even knowing especially well that stealing the calamity box was morally questionable, but did it anyway. Sasha was super manipulative, abusive, and used her power to control people, like she did a lot of toward Anne in their lives. Marcy, while very smart, wasn’t the most competent physically, who soon grew into being more independent without needing to rely on Anne always having to be there for her. These three were changed immensely by the events of being thrust into this world of sentient amphibian creatures. Anne benefited morally most out out of all three in taking up the mantle of responsibility and ironing out her own issues. She’s become a much stronger person all around. 

This episode asks us an important question though in nutshell with, “Have Sasha & Marcy truly changed for the better?”, since Anne has reached a point in her arc feeling genuinely content with who she’s become and the bonds that have been made with the Plantar family shown most notably with Sprig Plantar. Hence the whole purpose behind the song, It’s No Big Deal, with Anne feeling proud for who she is, yet not noticing a bigger issue right underneath her nose. That previous episode was meant to bring Anne’s happiness up only to bring it all crashing down in a devastating display of new revelations in True Colors. Every dramatic emotional beat isn’t just earned. Each significant moment is completely knocked out of the park by terrific voice acting, beautiful animation, and music composition that gave me serious emotional goosebumps. True Colors did exactly as Not What He Seems accomplished for Gravity Falls in shaking up its own respective dramatic stakes just when you thought it couldn’t get any higher for these protagonists. Shit seriously hits the fan here.

Did it ever occur to you, Anne? Sasha? That one of you knew more, than she was letting on? That ONE of you might’ve gotten you stranded in Amphibia on purpose...?

The big bombshell twist of Marcy playing a part too in getting them into this whole debacle completely flips everything upside down. Sasha pushed Anne into taking the Calamity Box, yes, but if Marcy never sent that photo because of her desire to stay with them together forever, then they wouldn’t have been stranded in basically a world full of dangerous creatures and who knows what else. Easily my favorite part of the episode, considering it adds more nuance to a situation that defined Amphibia’s story. It wasn’t just one person’s fault at the end of the day. Sasha bullied Anne into taking the box, Anne didn’t put her foot down to make a stand for something morally questionable, and Marcy took advantage of them both to benefit her own selfish desires for supposedly a “happy ending” not involving them staying apart, due to her parents moving away for a new job. All three girls played an important part on why they got landed into Amphiba. It’s why Anne’s statement to King Andrias, “The three of us may have made some mistake, but you...You’re evil and I’m gonna stop you!”, holds such a real weight to it, as this story continues to solidify how genuinely fleshed out their dynamic is.

Marcy’s super desperate plea to be understood by Anne & Sasha when Andrias revealed her getting them thrown into Amphibia purposefully was hard to watch. On one hand, I felt for Marcy because she didn’t want real life circumstances to tear apart that close connection she had to Sasha & Anne. Sure, she could’ve just kept in touch with them over the phone or chatting online, too. However, Marcy had known them since very early childhood. When you’ve been so attached to someone it can be a devastating thing, depending on just how vulnerable you are emotionally, to start drifting apart. Marcy represents that embodiment of toxic need for togetherness and couldn’t bear to let a possibility, like moving away, throw a wrench into her happiness and friendship, as well.

Never mind Marcy wanting to stay permanently in a different reality, rather than face her’s, but it made this person feel like something more. It gave her a chance to feel truly special in being able to live out a fantasy dream of having such power and freedom that a kid, like herself, couldn’t have had. The freedom to know she is plenty capable of making it out there on her own without Anne having to watch this kid like a hawk. So, to have someone, or something, try taking it away from her terrified Marcy of facing a terrible truth. That she isn’t strong enough after all to live a life without Anne & Sasha by her side completely, where Marcy will never feel truly worthy enough to blossom into her own person. It’s why that line, “I just...didn’t want to be alone...”, carries such a deep pain to it all. Marcy just crumbles into pieces accepting her greatest weakness. As much as Marcy fumbled the ball big time, it’s so easy to empathize with her on the idea of feeling competent enough. Marcy never meant to hurt Anne or Sasha, but the sad crushing punchline is she very much did.

Speaking of which, Anne had every right to be upset and mad, obviously. Anne has been missing so many things from her life before everything went off the wall. Hopping Mall especially highlighted Anne’s emotional desire to give anything just to hear her mother’s singing again. This teenager has been really dealing with a lot of grief in general quite honestly. Anne got into a high stakes battle against Sasha to save new friends, who’d practically became like an adopted family, which left the poor girl traumatized and heartbroken over the end result. She thought finding Marcy would help compensate for it and eventually be able to mend those complications with Sasha to boot. It’s simply painful to see it all blow up in Anne’s face to know not only Sasha betrayed her trust yet again, but realizing Marcy also played a part of responsibility in getting them thrown here. Matt Braly really just decided to slap future trust issues onto Anne finding out Hop Pop, Sasha, and Marcy were all super dishonest in their intentions at one point or another. Damn, I feel so bad for her.

It makes their embracing hug back in Marcy At The Gates so much harder to watch. Anne was super glad to see her again. Anne had wondered what became of Marcy or even possibly started to think she could even be alive at all. Then come to find out later on Marcy having intentionally ripped her away from a normal life must’ve felt worse then what happened with Sasha. Anne, already done with all of Sasha’s bullshit, thought she could at least expect better from Marcy not letting her down, but that too wasn’t the case. Marcy is very much as flawed as Sasha in what she has done. To think, Anne wanted so badly to get back home, yet she’s staring the very person dead in the eye, who ripped her away from it to begin with. Marcy knew Sasha would talk Anne into taking the box from that thrift shop, even if she wasn’t completely certain it would successfully teleport them away. Regardless of whatever good intentions someone can have in why they did what they did, it still doesn’t absolve them of said mistake. Fact of the matter is, Marcy tragically made her own bed, by choosing to mess with forces she couldn’t begin to comprehend and now has to face consequences, in spite of her not deserving them.

What really got to me was when Marcy tried to spin around Anne’s personal growth and close friendship with the Plantars as all entirely thanks to her. When she said, “I gave you this! I gave you everything!”, I was like, “Nope, that couldn’t be any further from the truth.”, seeing everything that has culminated in Anne’s journey of bettering herself. Marcy didn’t give Anne anything, but a one way ticket to cutting the kid off from her family, presuming she’d be fine with this idea. It’s all kinds of messed up, however what it boils down to is Marcy undermining Anne’s independence and agency. Anne’s moral judgement in decision making was what allowed her to create this new life she made for herself in Amphibia. Anne’s honesty as a whole led her down a path of togetherness, while Marcy’s lying landed her in a result of not wanting to be alone, costing her so much.

“I don’t believe this. We were so focused on each other we couldn’t see what was right in front of us!”

True Colors excels at earning each of its emotional beats because they line up with character motivations down to the last letter. Anne doesn’t want to trust Sasha anymore because of their already rocky past, which leads to her helping King Andrias regain control of his kingdom. Sasha not keeping a lid on her temper, wanting to rule over Amphibia, and trying to reinforce that power dynamic with Anne & Marcy only made things worse for her image of a changed good friend. There wasn’t a chance in Hell Anne would hear Sasha’s reasoning after she flat out tried to take away her frog family, by attempting to use the Calamity Box a bit ago in the episode. Marcy wanted to believe there was a happily ever after in seeing this world traveling idea as their only chance for salvation as friends for life, but it turned out to be something much more sinister, when learning of Andrias’ backstory and his true scumbag nature. All three of their motivations come clashing together, blinding them from a much bigger danger. Something that effectively puts everyone at stake.

Amphibia’s Season 2 finale works so excellently, given it covers important dramatic elements it’s been stirring around since Season 1′s early rumblings. Amphibia is a story centered around people’s need for emotional connections. True Colors builds miraculously off what Reunion already did quite well in showing friendships can become rough and they are never easy to deal with. When you have to make a stand it can be a tough pill to swallow on the reality check of maybe this “good friend” of your’s isn’t as nice as you previously thought them to be. Anne having been hurt one too many times now by her former friend sends that message close to home, so much so even Sasha begins to question her morality as a human being. It poignantly encapsulates how this trio’s complex friendship is a serious growing issue needing to be reexamined, overall.

What if Anne’s right..? What if I am a horrible person...?

Something I absolutely love to pieces about True Colors, also a testament to Season 2′s darn good writing, is how much introspective we get from each character on what they’re feeling. We’ve seen plenty of Sasha’s vulnerability before in other episodes centered on her issues, but now we’re getting to the root of it. Sasha is really taking everything more to heart, little by little. Sasha’s understanding what kind of an effect she has on people, seeing the damage it has caused made evident by Percy and Braddock in Barrel’s Warhammer. Grime once told her, “Some dreams have a price and not everyone is willing to pay it.”, where she’s questioning that idealism every passing minute the invasion plan proceeds further into reaching success. Sasha isn’t sure what to do with herself anymore feeling aimless. Those previous episodes had a real impact on her priorities more than she cared to let on with Sasha’s typical tough girl act. This kid has let her guard down more, which scares and confuses Sasha. She’s always used to playing the role of protector it contradicts everything Sasha stands for when the roles are totally reversed because now Anne has made her feel the tremendous change in their growth as individuals.

Sasha’s lifestyle has been all about control that after somewhat learning to be more considerate to Anne & Marcy’s feelings she feels beyond conflicted about what truly matters to her. The most screwed up part of it all is Sasha didn’t want to fight anymore, taking up a pacifist approach after seeing what King Andrias had been hiding from everyone. It’s a fitting punishment for Sasha to try bringing Anne over to work together once more, but getting her pleas for companionship outright ignored. Anne was correct that Sasha had wasted all the chances to be reasonable. Boonchuy tried to hear out Sasha before at The Third Temple. One wanted to start things over again to iron out their serious issues, but the other was driven by bitterness, while only remorseful to a degree at best, of seeing their once weak friend become so independent, mature, and stronger that it drove her up wall. Sasha wanted to take away that “problem” being the Plantars, since in her eyes they’re the source of Anne’s strength, driving a wedge further between the two girls in their heated Reunion 2.0 battle.

True Colors demonstrates the horrific price of no trust, communication, nor teamwork from the three main girls that Andrias smoothly took advantage of, as if they were fiddles. 

“That’s the thing about friends isn’t it? The more you love them, the more it hurts when they go.”

King Andrias is quite literally what I wanted Lunaris to be, where DuckTales’ Season 2 finale didn’t impress me on doing. He’s a serious big baddie to the main cast, who follows through on his threats of violence to demonstrate his wide array of arsenal and power. Andrias doesn’t just emotionally manipulate characters, like poor Marcy, but utterly crush them without an ounce of remorse for his actions. When he dropped Sprig out that window after Anne willingly let him have the Calamity Box back I thought they were legit gonna kill this boy off. The way Anne’s flashback montage of her good times with Sprig were eerily shot really didn’t help either on that note. Anne’s Calamity power finally activating is easily up there among stuff, like Dewey risking his life for Della’s disappearance in Last Crash, where the cinematography is shot and animated brilliantly. You feel Anne’s blind raging sadness in every hit she landed on those robots and Andrias. If anyone didn’t believe Sprig was like a little brother to Anne, then I dunno how anyone couldn’t view their bond anymore as such after this hugely defining scene. Anne went bloodthirsty when she believed Sprig to be dead further evidenced when she hugged him in relief afterwards exclaiming, “Sprig!? You’re alive!? Oh, thank goodness...”, which cuts deep so damn much.

Anne was ready to fight every one of Andrias’ troops in that castle to the death, if need be. Before Sprig came back from falling, thanks to Marcy’s quick acting, to comfort Anne, her only goal was to slaughter every opponent in that throne room, along with making Andrias pay dearly for even daring to lay a single finger on anyone of the Plantars. I’m not gonna lie, this pivotal power up reminded me so much Gohan turning Super Saiyan 2 after Cell curb stomped Android 16 into pieces with a smirk on his face. Anne Boonchuy’s maddening outburst is a classic testament to the idea of, “Piss off the nicest person and they’ll make it their mission to instill the biggest kind of fear/terror into you.”. showing this kid at her most vulnerable mental state, yet. Sprig & Anne’s cathartic embrace really messed me up in reinforcing just how these two respect, love, and would go above any of their limitations to help the other out. Sprig’s “death” scene was a masterful bait by the writers into making us think someone was gonna die and it was gonna be a poor kid, no less.  

However, it was actually all just a bait and switch for the real, “Oh, shit. They really just did that”, moment with Marcy unexpectedly getting run through with Andrias’ gigantic sword. In a last ditch effort, Marcy wanted to atone for what she had a hand in getting them all into. Marcy was ironclad determined in making her own stand for what was right trying to save the people she endangered. Akin to what Sasha did in Reunion for saving Anne’s life, Marcy does the exact same here. Although, unfortunately this time, no one is here to protect Marcy from escaping death, like Grime catching Sasha from plummeting at Toad Tower. Marcy couldn’t react in time because she was so focused on helping her dear friends out. She wanted to prove to herself at least one time, “I’ve screwed up so much stuff with my friends. Maybe, just maybe. If I get my friends back home, it’ll prove I’m not an entirely crappy person for setting these events into motion.”. Marcy’s own deep seeded remorse is what saved Anne & the Plantars, while being the cause of her own untimely demise at Andrias’ hands.

This scene is what no doubt encouraged the warning sign for younger viewers Disney decided to make for them. It’s impressive how far Matt and his crew are willing to go for intense dramatic content. Andrias trying to crush Polly with his fist after destroying Frobo with casual ease, dropping Sprig out of the window from up sky high, and stabbing Marcy with his powerful sword displays his cold blooded brutality. Doesn’t matter who you are. If you get in the way of Andrias’ plans for multiverse domination, then he’ll throw anyone into their own grave, be it man, woman, or child. That’s the mark of a truly terrifying antagonist.

Andrias didn’t care who had to be hurt or manipulated to get back the box, so he could invade other worlds with Earth being his next prime target for invasion. Marcy’s fate is a horrifyingly poetic statement, since Sasha stated to Anne in a flashback from Marcy At The Gates, “One of these days, she’s gonna get herself killed.”, with True Colors tying back to this line in a disturbing manner. Something that sends chills down my spine is we get to see the full extent of how far Andrias shoved the sword through her body. We don’t just see the entry point of where it hit her, but it even zooms out to show the whole thing. Real talk, I got serious Avatar The Last Airbender vibes from this scene. Reminded me so much of Aang getting suddenly zapped with lightning by Azula when he tried to enter the Avatar state. Marcy didn’t want to be alone so badly she ended up inevitably dying alone trying to send Anne back home to their reality. One Hell of a way to close off Marcy’s last moments in Season 2, until her inevitable resurrection happens in Season 3 now that King Andrias has her in a tube tank that looks tied to his master.

True Colors ends on a deeply bittersweet cliffhanger leaving the fates of Sasha & Grime totally unknown if they’ll get away by the skin of their teeth, or get captured by Andrias’ soldiers and robots. Anne finally returned home with the Plantars, but at a deadly cost of leaving her other close friends behind in Amphibia. After all the isolation, heartbreak, and endurance she went through with her frog family Anne finds herself at a total loss for words. Once again, Anne is in a state of solitude of not knowing if her friends are really okay or not, mirroring the start of Season 1 when she landed into Amphibia’s world. It’s safe to say to say that, “Finally me and it’s no big deal.”, lyrics have aged terribly for Anne’s realization of finding her own identity came at the expense of getting separated from friends she’s known since kindergarten. Definitely see Anne becoming a lot more protective of the Plantars now more than ever after watching Marcy drop to the ground from being stabbed in front of her eyes.

Amphibia’s Season 2 finale is exactly how you capitalize on a winning story telling formula of dramatic writing, lovable characters with layered depth, and increasing the stakes of your story in an organic manner. True Colors is a finale that should be talked about for a long time to come, as it not only showed how worth the wait it was, but reinforces why Amphibia is a truly great series. It’s unafraid to take its characters to dark places in a way that feels totally earned.

Amphibia Season 2 is everything a sequel to a first film should be.

[itsclydebitches]

Hey there! Admittedly I'm a little bit nervous since this is my first ask, but I'll try to not be too rambly.

So, recently the main subreddit, r/RWBY, made a ban on active users of the r/RWBYcritics subreddit. As a result there's been discussion around bad-faith criticism in the latter subreddit. What are your takes on bad-faith criticism?

For me personally, I think a bunch of people are misusing the term "bad-faith" and using it as a way to shut down criticism, but I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it.

Hey there, everyone! We woke up to some drama this morning, huh? And hello to you too, Tortoise! I'm so glad you decided to send in an ask, even if it's following some pretty tumultuous events...

Right, I'd like to start with a story. The story of how I personally don't spend time on Reddit, but I have plenty of friends who will occasionally cross-post something for me to see. Yesterday (or the day before? Idk time is meaningless) a friend told me about a post — which, significantly, I'm now having trouble finding — that covers RWBY's inconsistent writing and the fandom's tendency to try and explain away those missteps. They'd thought I'd be interested because I'd just had a conversation here on tumblr where I made that exact point to someone who, also significantly, vehemently disagreed with me, but in a very civil fashion. Given everything going on, I feel like this side point needs emphasis: we debated, we did so in a sometimes heated, but nevertheless respectful manner, it was clear neither of us was going to sway the other, and the conversation ended. The two "sides" of the community interacted without Armageddon coming about.

But back to the purpose of this tale. I went to take a look at this point and found that it no longer exists. There's just some vague message about it not obeying the subreddit's rules. "What happened?" I asked. "Why'd they take the post down?" "People were getting too heated in the comments," my friend replies. So, given that the comments were still visible, I proceeded to read through them, expecting personal attacks, slurs, harassment, etc. Any number of things that would justify deleting the post itself to put an end to such behavior. Instead, I found a thread of people having a conversation. Was the conversation heated at times? Sure. Did one or two individual posters edge into the realm of petulant, "No. You're wrong and stupid" responses? Yes. Was any of this remotely what I was expecting given the post's removal? NOPE.

"This isn't allowed?" I said. "Well then what is? People were being civil! Or at least as civil as hundreds of strangers ever get when discussing a series they're passionate about online."

Then, this morning, I hear that the entire critic subreddit has been banned.

So to answer your question, Tortoise, I don't actually think that "good faith" criticism exists. Meaning, it's not just that fans are misusing the term "bad faith criticism," but rather that there is no unified, agreed up method of writing criticism that will meet their standards. It's not possible and we know it's not possible because fans have been trying to meet those elusive standards for years:

A fan posts nothing but praise for RWBY until changes make them criticize the show as it is now. Their entire body of work is dismissed as the product of a "hater," despite the overwhelming gap between positive and negative reviews.

A fan posts a review that's a pretty balanced mix between praise and criticism. They're dismissed because it's still too much criticism.

A fan posts a review that's 99% praise with 1% criticism. That's still too much, with fans focusing on the single problem they had with the work and using it as an excuse to dismiss the entire review out of hand.

(As an aside, the argument that critics are "obsessed" with only saying negative things and that the only problem here is that they're "too" negative ignores the argument that... RWBY has a lot of flaws nowadays. Few are willing to acknowledge the possibility that it's not fans insisting on making things up to be mad about/ignoring the good parts of the show, it's the that show is, as of now, legitimately more of a mess than it is a praise-worthy product. If I'd been writing recaps in the Volumes 1-4 days, my work would have been skewed far more towards the positive. The critics' stance is that RWBY has gotten worse, which yes, results a higher volume of critical posts. To say nothing of how criticism takes far longer to explain, likewise resulting in posts focused primarily on that side of the divide. I really enjoyed the image of a crying Jaune reflected in his sword. I did not enjoy that moment's context. Saying that you liked an animation choice is a one sentence thing. Explaining the complexities of Jaune securing emotional moments, the problems with Penny's second death, the hurt many fans experienced watching an assisted suicide, etc. takes a whooole lot longer. Hence, you get massive, multiple posts about these nuanced topics and fewer, smaller posts about the details that are working well.)

A fan talks about a topic that has been metaphorically banned by the fandom as a whole. They have something good to say about Ironwood. They dislike something about Blake/Yang. They enjoyed Adam as a character. They have a problem with Ruby's leadership, etc. There's a whole list of topics nowadays that will result in an automatic dismissal, regardless of the point the fan is trying to make or how well they make it.

A fan talks about the minority representation of RWBY — its black characters, its queer characters, its disabled characters, etc. — and as a result has something to say about the biases and missteps of those writing these characters. This is considered an attack on the writers and, therefore, automatically bad.

A fan talks about how they enjoyed RWBY as it was years ago and is having trouble reconciling the dark, complicated story with the simple, hopeful one we started out with. This is seen as an attack on Monty's vision and an unwillingness to accept that "everything is planned."

A fan does as asked and ensures that their post is meeting all the requirements of "real" criticism. They have an argument to make. They have a point. They provide evidence. They recommend a solution. They keep their tone respectful. They don't attack the creators. They provide disclaimers in every single paragraph about how they do not hate RWBY. It doesn't matter. They're considered too negative.

I have, quite literally, seen every one of the above examples on multiple occasions. I have had many of the above accusations leveled at my own work. When fans say that they're fine with criticism provided it's not "bad faith" criticism, they don't actually have a specific post-type in mind; a checklist of behaviors another fan can emulate and, provided they do that, no hate will come their way. Or, if an individual fan does actually go, "Yeah. That criticism I'm fine with" that response is in no way universal. One person's "They make a good, civil point" is another person's, "Omg stop bashing the show!" Because "bashing" has come to mean everything from curse-laden insults towards everything RWBY has ever done, to posts that just happen to say something other fans don't agree with.

It's a rigged game. There is no way to post criticism about RWBY in an agreed-upon, appropriate manner. This recent ban is proof of that. I think it's incredibly telling that almost immediately after I was going, "Wow. A pretty calm debate about the flaws of RWBY in the main sub. That's great to see," all posters from the criticism subreddit were banned. The main sub literally just had the sort of criticism that they claim to accept — people respectfully posting analysis-based arguments resulting in calm debate — and yet they implemented the ban anyway. I'm not going to pretend that I've never gotten too heated on my own posts, never made snarky comments when I'm frustrated, never used exaggerated reaction GIFs that can come across as insulting... but I'd say on the whole my RWBY work is precisely the sort of "good faith" criticism that other fans are supposedly looking for. I never make an argument I don't think I can back up with evidence. I try to allow for the nuance and differing opinions of complicated topics. I try — even if I don't always succeed — to write in a clear, respectful manner. Yet none of that work has stopped people from telling me I'm a "bitter... raging asshole," a "deranged, delusional psychopath," telling me to set myself on fire, threatening to smash my head in, or just messages to straight up kill myself. If someone like me who legitimately works hard to create fair, defendable criticism and who only ever posts on a personal blog that people can easily block, who never engages in debate until someone else starts it first, never seeks out other fans I disagree with to harass them about what they like... if someone like me is still a "bad faith" critic who "deserves" that kind of hate mail... then what kind of criticism do people want?

Nothing. That's the answer. No criticism whatsoever, of any kind, no matter if it's delivered respectfully, is making a good point, whatever. That's why "RWDE" was created. That's why the critic subreddit was created. The community at large has demanded a complete separation between Praise and Anything That's Not 100% Praise, which has now resulted in this ban. Any other explanations we see are excuses, which becomes glaringly obvious when you look at the mods' supposed reasons for implementing the ban:

"Constant arguments with r/RWBY users" - As opposed to the arguments surrounding things like shipping that never, ever happen?

"Vote manipulation and comment brigades" - The subreddit with 3,000 participants, with around 200 on at a time, is manipulating the votes of a subreddit with 155,000 participants, with over 1,000 on at a time? Those numbers just do not check out. If a positive post is downvoted, or a critical post upvoted, maybe that's because large swaths of the community actually agree/disagree with that assessment, not because the incredibly smaller group is somehow manipulating things.

"Attacking and harassing those they disagree with" — Again, as opposed to those non-critics that never, ever harass people? This is an individual problem, not a community problem. Both critics and non-critics have their sub-groups acting in ways they shouldn't. If anything, the main sub will have more individuals harassing other fans, simply by virtue of being so much larger. As the above examples attest, it's not other critics who have told me to light myself on fire and, just to be clear, the asks I've responded to are a miniscule number compared to the amount I've received. I delete the lion's share for my own sanity and to save my followers from reading the really graphic threats.

"Months-long NSFL spam brigades" — I am, admittedly, not sure what this is referring to. Spamming of NSFW content? If so, that's also an individual problem.

"Homophobic, transphobic, and racist attacks towards our users" — See the above points. Again. If someone is being homophobic, transphobic, or racist, then yes please, ban them. Don't ban an entire community for the actions of a few. It's like walking into a store and banning a customer for causing a scene... but then also banning everyone else who happened to be shopping at the same time. It's guilt by association.

The silver lining to all this? The community as a whole isn't pleased. At least according to the main subreddit comments and a few individual voices like MurderofBirds. Despite the increase (from my perspective anyway) of critical voices post-Volume 8, criticism of RWBY is still very much seen as taboo. As this ban showcases. But it's really reassuring to see so many fans, critics and non-critics alike, going, "This was a mistake." A community is meant to include all aspects of engagement: praise, criticism, and the gray area between. If anything, fans like the mods of the main subreddit should be creating a separate subreddit that is specifically for praise. In the same way that there should have been a tag for RWBY praise, rather than trying to eliminate any and all criticism from the main "RWBY" tag. The majority of fans, even those who claim to hate critics and all they (presumably) stand for, recognize that a blanket ban of all criticism is not the way to go, especially when "criticism" has come to have such a staggeringly broad definition. If you want your RWBY experience to be nothing but sunshine and roses (ha), then cultivate your own internet experience to reflect that. Create your own pockets with rules about how this is the space for praise and if you're not up for praising RWBY right now, don't interact with us in this particular space. Don't try to make the entire community — the main tools used to discuss the show online — conform to your preferences. As established, there is no "good" criticism that everyone in the fandom will accept, which just leaves a fandom with no criticism at all. I'm glad to see I'm far from the only one who, when presented with that extreme, is going, "Nope. No thank you."

[waitimcomingtoo]

The Proposal ~ T.H

chapter five: the truth

Synopsis: fake marriage, real trouble

Series Masterlist

Before Harry could walk away from you, you grabbed his arm and pulled him into your room. You threw him down on the bed and blocked his path to the door.

“We need to talk.”

“Hm.” Harry looked at you innocently. “What about?”

“You know my secret.” You said, unamused.

“I do.” Harry smirked. “And I have to commend you, honestly. Marrying someone just to stay in the country? You must really love your job. I’ve been fired from 7 different fast food restaurants for not showing up to a one hour shift. You’re pretty dedicated.”

“How do you know about that?” You gasped. “Did Tom tell you?”

“Nope. I figured it out.” Harry said proudly as he tapped the side of his head.

“How?” You raised your eyebrow.

“One thing I know about my brother is that he can’t keep a secret.” Harry shrugged. “The second you so much as called him something other than “assistant”, I would’ve heard about it.”

“Your point?” You folded your arms.

“My point is there is no way he started dating you and didn’t tell us.” Harry stated. “And it’s not like you guys are very good at hiding that you’re not a couple. Mum and dad don’t realize because they’re too swept up in the excitement of it all, but I see everything. Every time you swat his hand away or remind yourself to look interested, I saw. I knew something was up from the first day.”

“Well how did you know about the reason for our marriage?”

“Oh, I knew that because my room is right next to yours.” Harry said simply. “And you guys yell a lot. Literally, it’s like all you talk about.”

You rolled your eyes at Harry, but he wasn’t done making fun of you.

“Wah, I feel bad. Wah, don’t feel bad. Wah, I hate lying. Wah Wah Wah.” He mimicked your voices. “Like, we get it. You’ve fallen in love with our family and can’t bear to lie to us. Boring.” He faked a yawn. “Don’t you guys ever talk about sports or the local news? A missing dog from down the block was found today, but you wouldn’t know that, would you?”

You rolled your eyes at his jokes before grabbing a handful of his shirt and pulling him close to your face.

“Listen, curly.” You growled. “Tom and I have a lot riding on this so I need to know that you’re gonna keep your mouth shut. Are you gonna tell your parents?”

“No.” He said as he stared at you in fear. “That would make them liable if this all goes to shit.”

“What about you?” You narrowed your eyes at him. “You could get in trouble for knowing and not stopping us.”

“Then do me a favor and don’t get caught.” He said. You looked Harry up and down before releasing his shirt, deciding that he was trustworthy.

“We’ll try.” You mumbled as you smoothed your clothes.

“He likes you, you know.” Harry told you. “That part isn’t fake.”

“I like him too.” You said quietly as you avoided his eyes.

“You better.” Harry stated. “Don’t let my brother go to jail, okay? He’s too pretty for jail.”

“He’s a little pretty.” You smiled shyly.

“Yeah, well, he’s spent the past two years calling home to tell us how much he admires you.” Harry rolled his eyes. “He’s your biggest fan, Y/n. Don’t let him down.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you need to be the person he thinks you are and let him out of this deal.” Harry’s tone got serious. “There’s still time to end this whole thing. I’m sure you can find another bloke who’d do anything for you and use him for citizenship. Just leave my brother out of it.”

“He agreed to this.” You said quietly. “I didn’t make him do anything.”

“He agreed because he’s in love with you, Y/n.” Harry sighed. “He’d do anything for you without zero hesitation. “You know that and you’re taking advantage of it.”

“I’m not trying to take advantage of him.” You defended. “But I needed a husband and he wanted a promotion. It’s a win win.”

“The promotion doesn’t mean anything if he got it for doing you a favor. And when that sinks in for him, he’s going to hate himself. And he’ll hate you too.” Harry insisted. “He’s been working his ass off for that promotion and you’re only giving it to him so you don’t get deported.”

“That’s not true.” You protested. “He was always going to get the job.”

“Okay. Then forget that part.” Harry shrugged. “Let’s talk about how you’re playing with his feelings.”

“What?” You scoffed. “I’m not playing with his feelings.”

“Aren’t you?” Harry titled his head. “You knew he liked you. And now you’re parading around like you’re his wife and I guarantee he thinks you’ll still like him once all of this is done. You’re letting him think he has a chance with you so he doesn’t back out of the deal.”

“He...he does have a chance.” You said quietly. It was the first time you said it out loud, but it was true. If Tom wanted to make the fake relationship real once your marriage was official, you wouldn’t exactly be opposed. All the small moments; him giving you his shoes, giving you his bed, kissing him when no one was around, and all his selfless acts of kindness were adding up. He wasn’t who you thought he was, and the person he turned out to be was someone you were seriously falling for.

“He better.” Harry stated. “Because if he ends up in jail or with his heartbroken, I’m gonna be pissed.”

Your heart sank as Harry’s words made all your guilt come flooding back. Every time you had qualms about lying to Toms family, Tom assuaged you by telling you they’d never find out. Now that Harry knew about the deal, there was nothing keeping you from feeling guilty.

“Look, I really like you, Y/n.” Harry said when he noticed your sad expression. “And I want you to be part of the family. But only if it’s for the right reasons. If you’re just using us for citizenship, then I want nothing to do with you. And once everyone finds out the truth, they won’t want you either.”

You felt tears come to your eyes as you realized he was right. You had grown to love Toms family, and going through with this marriage meant you’d be selfishly using them for your own benefit. A tear rolled down your cheek as you were faced with a tough decision. If you stayed, you could marry Tom and keep your job. If you left, you wouldn’t have to lie to a group of people who treated you with nothing but kindness. You opened your mouth to speak, but found yourself with nothing to say.

“Harry, Y/n.” Dom’s voice rang from the kitchen. “Breakfast is getting cold.”

“Think about it.” Harry squeezed your shoulder before leaving the room. You waited a few seconds before following him into the kitchen. Tom immediately noticed your ghastly expression when you sat down at the kitchen table. He had been nervous to see you after the makeout session in his bed, but now he was just concerned.

“Are you all right, love?” Tom asked as he squeezed your hand. You blinked a few times and looked at him, feeling all your guilt come back. You picked up Toms hand and pressed a long kiss to the back of it, making him look at you curiously.

“I’m fine.” You forced a smile. “We’ll talk later.”

You went straight to your room when you finished breakfast after telling Tom that you needed a minute alone. A few tears had slipped down your cheeks once you were alone, knowing the fantasy of staying in the country with your new family was over. You jumped a little when you heard something outside your door, followed by the sound of footsteps departing. You opened your door to find a bowl of cut up strawberries on the ground, with Nikki’s perfume still lingering in the air.

“Nikki?” You called out, and she came back.

“Hi, sweetheart.” She smiled warmly at you. “I wasn’t sure if you were in there. Do you like strawberries?

“I love them, thank you. You didn’t have to do that.” You said as you picked up the bowl.

“I just noticed you looked a little upset at breakfast.” She explained. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You looked down at the bowl of strawberries and sucked in a sharp breath, feeling overwhelmed at the simple act of kindness.

“I’m okay.” You said weakly. “Thank you for the berries.”

“Of course.” She cupped your face and wiped a tear with her thumb. “Follow me. There’s something I want to show you.”

You silently followed her into her bedroom and ate some of the strawberries as she disappeared into the closet. After a few minutes, she came out of the closet with a long white gown in her hands. It’s was simple, made of silk with braided straps. Your eyes lit up at the sight of it and you quickly set the bowl down.

“Oh, Nikki.” You gasped. “It’s beautiful.”

“It’s yours.” She smiled eagerly. “Go on. Try it on.”

“I can’t.” You said quietly. After the conversation you had with Harry, you felt wrong trying on her wedding dress.

“Please?” She asked hopefully. “It would be an honor to have you wear it when you marry Tom.”

“All right.” You reluctantly agreed. “I’ll try it on.”

Nikki beamed in excitement before handing you the dress. She clapped her hands happily as you disappeared into her closet. You shut the door and slipped the dress on, the way it fit you perfectly making you feel even worse. After zipping it the best you could and smoothing it out, you left the closet.

“Oh, you look so beautiful.” Nikki put her hands over her mouth. “It’s perfect on you. You look enchanting.”

“Thank you.” You said as you looked down at the dress. “It’s beautiful. Thank you for letting me wear it.”

“Wait here.” She clapped her hands again and went under her bed. She pulled a box out and set it on the bed before opening it up. Inside was a delicate white crown and long, tulle veil. Nikki placed the crown on your head and adjusted the veil so it perfectly framed your face. She backed up to admire her work and clasped her hands under her chin.

“There.” She grinned. “Now it’s perfect.”

She walked back to you and turned you around, letting your view yourself in the mirror. Her hands continued to play with the veil as you stared at yourself. You’d never seen yourself in a wedding dress before, you never even imagined wearing one. The combination of the proud look on Nikki’s face and the sight of yourself in the beautiful dress made your face scrunch up in pain.

“Oh, honey.” She cooed as you began to cry. “It’s okay to be emotional. I cried the first time I saw myself in it.”

You turned around and let her mother you, allowing her to wipe your tears with her hands. She was so excited for the wedding, and all you could think about was how much it would crush her if she found out the truth.

“Thank you. For everything.” You told her. “I know it’s only been a few days, but you’ve really made me feel like part of the family. I really appreciate everything you’ve done.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” She smiled. “Anything for my daughter.”

You sucked in a sharp breath when you heard this, making a fresh tear fall from your eye.

“No ones called me that in a long time.” You smiled sadly.

“Sweetheart?” She asked.

“Daughter.” You answered.

Nikki looked at you fondly before pulling you into a hug, comfortingly rubbing your back. You squeezed your eyes shut and hugged her back, assuming that that would be that last time.

“I always wanted a girl.” She said as she stroked your hair. “Heaven sent you to me.”

You looked up at the ceiling as tears fell from your eyes, feeling sick to your stomach with the guilt. When you pulled away, you sheepishly wiped your tears and gave her a smile.

“Um, I better change before Tom sees me.” You said. “I don’t want any bad luck.”

“Smart girl.” Nikki patted your back and sent you back to the closet. You changed out of the dress and gave it back to her, excusing yourself as quickly as you could.

You rushed back into your room and got your suitcase out from under the bed. You began to hastily throw your clothes inside, tears making your vision blurry. You didn’t hear Tom come into the room, not noticing him as he watched you pack.

“Y/n?” He spoke up. “Is everything okay?”

“I can’t do this.” You said without looking at him. Your tears and breathing were becoming hysterical and Tom realized you were having a panic attack.

“Hey. It’s okay.” He put his hands on your shoulder to stop you from packing. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” You laughed sadly. “I’m gonna ruin your family like I ruined mine. And I’ll ruin you too.”

“Woah woah woah.” He pulled you into a hug. “It’s okay, darling. Nothing is getting ruined.”

“Yes it is.” You cried into his chest. “I roped you into this mess and now you’re stuck committing fraud and getting married to someone you don’t love.”

“I’m not getting married to someone I don’t...” Tom trailed off when he realized he might be saying too much. You were too busy trying to catch your breath to hear him as you began to pace the room.

“You’re just getting nerves about the wedding. I’m sure all brides worry about committing fraud two days before their wedding.” Tom tried to lighten the mood with a joke. “Don’t worry about me, okay? We’ll figure this out together.”

“Stop doing that.” You snapped as you continued to pace.

“Doing what?”

“Being nice to me!” You cried. “I have never been nice to you.”

“It’s okay. It’s-“

“It’s not okay.” You cut him off. “I never would’ve done this for you. I wouldn’t even call you by your name.”

“Why are you freaking out? What happened?” Tom pulled you back towards him and rubbed your shoulders.

“Your mom cut up fruit for me.” You said through tears.

“That’s what’s making you freak out?” He asked. “Because she cut up fruit for you?”

“Tom, she left it outside my door.” You stressed.

“So? That’s what moms do.”

“I know that’s what they do. But she did it for me.” You cried. “And your dad let’s me use his lucky golf ball and I have inside jokes with your brothers and your grandma texts me memes she sees on Facebook.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t see what the problem is.” Tom said calmly. “Why are these things bad?”

“They’re not.” You sobbed. “They’re good things.”

“So why are you upset?”

“I forgot, okay?” You shrugged sadly. “I forgot.”

“Forgot what?” He tried to understand.

“What it feels like to have a family.” You whimpered. Tom looked at you in confusion as he stopped rubbing your arms.

“What?” He asked quietly.

“I forgot how it felt to have someone teach you what they know and love you and miss you and hope to see you at the holidays.” You dry heaved. “I haven’t felt that in years and it’s all coming back and I can’t handle it.”

“Hey, shhh. It’s okay.” He pulled you into his arms again and held you tightly. “How could you forget those things? What about your mom?”

“My mom is dead.” You whispered against his chest. Tom stiffened at your confession but never loosened his grip on you. He continued to rub your back and let you speak when you were ready.

“We got in this fight one night because I was being a bitch like I always am and I ran out of the house.” You gulped as you tried to catch your breath. “She drove around looking for me but it was raining really heavily and she couldn’t see where she was going and this truck-“

“It’s okay.” He cut you off. “You don’t have to tell me. It’s okay.”

“I ruined her.” You whispered. “I ruined our family.”

“Shhh. I got you. You’re okay.” He mumbled as he stroked your hair. You sniffled a few times before pulling out of Toms arms. You looked at him sheepishly as you wiped your tears and snot.

“I’m sorry.” You said weakly. “I didn’t mean to dump all of that on you.”

“You didn’t dump anything on me.” He assured you. “I told you it’s okay to open up to me, remember? You can tell me things like this. I’m going to be your husband, after all.”

“Thank you.” You smiled weakly. Tom smiled back and reached out for you again. You let him pull you into a long hug, allowing his warmth to comfort you.

“I’m so sorry about your mom.” He said before kissing the top of your head. “I had no idea about any of this.”

“And I had no idea that you had your mothers eyes or your fathers handshake.” You pulled away suddenly. “Or that all of your brothers have the exact same smile. You were never a person to me before all of this. But now I see you have this whole life outside our office and I’m no longer okay with messing it up.”

You fully pulled away from him and went back to your suitcase, throwing the rest of your things inside.

“Why are you packing?” He worried. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going back to Canada.” You said without looking at him. “I can’t use you like this. I can’t ruin your life.”

“You’re not ruining my life.” He came up behind you and tried to stop you. “My family loves you. They haven’t been this happy in years. And we have a deal, remember? You’re not using me if this benefits me too.”

“The deal is off.” You shook your head and zipped up your suitcase. “I can’t risk you going to prison for me.”

“Why not?” Tom began to panic as you went for the door. “You had no problem with it last week.”

“That was before I started falling in love with you, Tom.” You raised your voice suddenly.

You and Tom both fell silent at your unexpected confession. Your eyes immediately dropped to the floor as his mouth hung open in shock.

“You-“

“Shut up.” You instantly cut him off. “I don’t want to hear another word from you”.

“You love-“

“Stop speaking.” You spoke loudly over him. “That’s an order from your boss.”

You tried to leave the room with your suitcase but he grabbed your arm to stop you.

“Y/n, wait a minute.” He said sternly. “We need to talk about this.”

“No we don’t.” You stated. “You’re dismissed now, assistant.”

“Y/n.” Tom tightened his grip on your arm without hurting you.

“Just leave me alone Tom.” You whispered. “You don’t want this. You don’t want me.”

“I love you too.” He said suddenly, making you drop your tough act. Your face softened as you stopped fighting him to leave.

“I love you too.” He repeated. “I fell too.”

Your gaze fell down to his lips, the urge to leave behind replaced by the urge to kiss him until you couldn’t breathe. You swallowed thickly before shaking your head at him.

“No.” You decided. “You don’t.”

“Yes I do.” He insisted. “I love you, Y/n. And I want to help you.”

“You’re only helping me so I make you editor.” You laughed sadly. “You don’t love me. This has nothing to do with me.”

“I do love you.” He promised. “I’m doing this so you stay in the country. We can’t be together if you’re all the way over in Canada.”

“So then we won’t be together.” You shrugged and tried to leave again.

“But I want to be with you.” He said sadly as he stepped in front of you. You looked into Tom’s eyes for a minute, hating the sadness that you put there. All he wanted to do was love you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to let him.

“You deserve a nice girl, Tom.” You said after a beat. “I’m not that. I’m not good enough for you.”

“I don’t want nice.” He said quietly. “I want you.”

“I want you too.” You told him. “But not if its like this.”

“But-“

“I’m sorry.” You said sincerely. “But I have to leave.”

You moved past Tom before he could get another word out. You walked into the kitchen with your suitcase, stopping in fear when Toms entire family stared at you in confusion.

“Where are you going, sweetie?” Nikki asked when she noticed the suitcase. “Is everything all right?”

You looked back and forth between all of them, feeling a panic rise again in your stomach. You didn’t expect them all to be there when you left, and that made it so much worse.

“I’m s-so sorry.” You stammered. “I have to go home right away.”

“Oh no.” Dom frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Family emergency.” You lied, wincing a little at the irony. “I’m so sorry. Thank you, all of you, for everything. These past few days have meant a lot to me.”

You looked around at everyone’s confused faces and dropped your bags suddenly, running right into Sam’s arms and hugging him tightly. You whispered a short thank you into his ear before moving onto Paddy. Then you went to Nikki, letting the hug linger as long as you could.

“Goodbye, Nikki.” You whispered tearfully. “Thank you for everything.”

“Oh, you’re welcome.” She said sadly as she rubbed your back. “Goodbye, honey.”

You pulled away from her and gave her a sad smile before hugging Harry.

“You’re doing the right thing.” Harry mumbled in your ear. You tightened your grip on him as a tear slipped down your cheek, knowing he was right. You pulled away and hugged Dom last, just as a tearful Tom came into the kitchen.

“We’ll see you once you get back, right?” Dom asked when you pulled away.

“I....I’m not sure.” You said weakly. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

You turned to pick your suit case back up, making eye contact with Tom as you did. You ran to him and threw your arms around his neck, hugging him as tightly as you could.

“I’m so sorry.” You mumbled in his ear. “I wish things we’re different.”

You pulled away from him and picked up your suitcase, leaving without another word.

You caught a cab back to your apartment and collapsed on your bed as soon as you got home. You knew Harry was right about you doing the right thing, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. If you had it your way, you’d stay with Tom and his family and live in peace. The IRCC wouldn’t bother you and you could continue working your job with Tom as your editor. But of course, it wasn’t that simple. You’d have to get your citizenship the normal way and hope your job was still waiting for you when you got back to the UK. And hopefully, Tom would be there too.

When you woke up the next morning, you got ready to go back to your office. Slipping into your high heels after nearly a week of wearing Toms old tennis shoes made you feel the slightest bit back to normal. Your heels clicked underneath you as you strutted into your office, feeling relieved as the employees shuttered in your presence.

Before stopping by your office to pack, you stopped by the head of the company’s office for a quick conversation. You had a few things you wanted to say to Mr. Reynolds before leaving the company. After speaking with him, you went to your office to pack your things. You held your held up high every time you carried a box of your items to your car. You were about to carry the last box out of the office when you heard a knock at your door.

“I thought I’d find you here.” Toms voice sent goosebumps down your spine. You looked at him and gave him a tight smile, hoping to avoid any awkwardness.

“I was just leaving.” You said as he took another step into the office.

“Can we talk?” He asked as he stepped in front of you. “There was a lot I didn’t get to say yesterday.”

“Can it wait?” You asked. “I have a flight to catch.”

“A flight?” Tom sighed in disappointment.

“Could you just-“ you voice cracked a little as you forced out a smile. “Could you smile, please? I don’t want my last memory of this place to be of you frowning. I made you frown enough over the past two years.”

“You don’t have to do this.” Tom said sternly.

“I do.” You said, face sinking when the irony of the words hit you. It was technically your wedding eve, and you were spending it saying goodbye to each other. Tom felt the irony too and his eyes welled with tears. You gulped and turned away, not wanting to see him upset. You saw a stack of papers on your desk and were reminded of what you had done before packing your office.

“I almost forgot.” You picked up the papers and handed it to him. “Here.”

“What is this?” Tom asked without looking at the cover.

“It’s a wedding gift. I published your book.” You smiled weakly as Tom looked at you in disbelief.

“You what?” He gasped as he flipped through the pages. Sure enough, it was the book he had submitted to you.

“20,000 copies are being sent out to the public next month.” You continued. “It was one of my last actions as editor in chief.”

“One of your last?”

“After I published it, I stepped down from my position and nominated someone to take my place.”

“Who?” He asked.

“You. Congratulations, Mr. editor at a big shot publishing company.” You tried to smile. “Editor in chief, actually. This all belongs to you now.”

“Y/n.” Tom whispered as he stared at you with tearful eyes.

“You deserved this promotion without having to marry me for it.” You assured him. “It was always yours. I’m sorry it took me so long to give it to you.”

“I don’t want to work here if you’re not here.” He said as a tear slipped from his eye. He was very aware that this could be your last conversation for a while, and it was killing him.

“You’ll make a great boss.” You continued. “The employees deserve someone like you for a boss. Someone...nice.”

“Please, stay here.” He pleaded. “I don’t want you to leave. You just started letting me in. Don’t run away from me now.”

You looked at Tom for a minute before putting your hands on either side of his face and pulling him into a kiss. He kissed you back passionately, hoping it wouldn’t be the last time he felt your lips on his. You pulled away and pressed your forehead against his, sucking in a sharp breath as you inhaled his scent.

“I have to go, Tom.” You whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you doing this?” He asked as you went for the door.

“We had a few good days, Tom.” You shrugged. “That’s all. That’s not love. Not really. That’s just a few good days.”

“We could have more if you stay.” He pleaded.

“I don’t think love is something that should be messed with.” You said sadly. “Not like this, anyway.”

Tom didn’t say anything, instead letting his eyes stay on his manuscript. He knew he couldn’t look at you without breaking down, so he kept his eyes down.

“Goodbye, Tom.” You said softly. “I couldn’t have had a better assistant.”

“I would’ve been a good husband too.” He mumbled.

“Yeah.” You laughed sadly. “I bet you would’ve.”

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[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

Tragedy of Loki of Asgard is framed to show us how "narcissistic" and bad Loki is not only because he wrote a play about himself but also because it reframes his misdeeds as either not so bad or harmless. But then movie shows that Odin straight up covered up his mass slaughtering conquest, proving for as bad as Loki might be Odin is in fact worse

We really need to stop throwing the narcissist word around like it's no big deal.

One of the many definitions of NPD is:

Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.

But like everything else, this is lacking nuance. If you're arrogant does that mean you're a narcissist? Nope. In order to diagnose someone we need to take into account not only their actions but why they act the way they do. And that requires a deep understanding that, in my opinion, can't be achieved when we're discussing a fictional character because they change constantly and some of their actions are impossible to define accurately since the movies usually follow many stories simultaneously and we don't get to hear the internal monologue (and especially with Loki, we spend 5 movies and a show hearing other people define him but he never gets the chance to define himself).

Does Loki have a need for admiration? Yes. Does that make him a narcissist? No. He may have a few characteristics mentioned above but that's not enough to diagnose NPD. Again, we need to understand why he does what he does, how he feels after he's done it, what he wants out of it, etc. It's a lot more complicated than movies and shows wants us to believe. And don't forget the series defines him as a narcissist but they never explain why.

Also when you talk about his deeds being framed as harmless, isn't the play about what happened in Svartalfheim? Everything Loki did that day was fight alongside Thor, protect Jane, avenge his mother and save his brother's life. The only questionable thing he did was fake his death (I don't care how it was filmed initially, in the movie we all saw he fakes it) and yeah he shouldn't have done that but I can't say I'm surprised, Thor wanted to kick his ass back to the dungeons.

So yeah, I'm not a fan of using psychological terms so freely. Not everyone who's arrogant or too proud or cocky is a narcissist. And the play is nowhere near as bad as what Odin did...

[wiypt-writes]

Riding On

Ch23: Unnamed, Generic Baked Item

Summary: Fliss picks her wedding dress, whilst Frank has some great inspiration about a birthday present for his future wife…

Warnings: Bad language, 18+, Smut (NSFW 18+)

Pairing: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: This is totally dedicated to @sweater-daddiesdumbdork . But it’s still a f**kin’ biscuit!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding On Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 22

 “Mary, enough!” Frank’s voice rose and Mary glared at him, folding her arms.

“This is so unfair!” She exclaimed and Frank took a deep breath as he fed Alex another spoonful of porridge.

“You know what? You might think that, and I’m not even digging into the reasons why you’re wrong, but Fliss is already nervous enough about today and you kicking up a fuss over it is not going to help,” Frank levelled her with a look, “so get it out of your system right now, because if you’re still moaning when she comes down the stairs, you and me are going to fall out. Big time.”

Mary blinked, and then frowned. “What’s she nervous about? She’s only picking a dress.”

“Because it’s her wedding dress. It’s a big deal.”

“Which is why I wanna go!”

“And it’s also why you’re not!” Frank shot back, turning and feeding Alex some more as the baby had started to protest due to his dad’s attention being elsewhere. “Stack, you got bored within twenty minutes when they took you for your bridesmaid dress last week, so no, you’re staying here.”

“But-“

“It’s not open for debate,” Frank’s voice dropped even further, the warning tone unmistakable, “but feel free to carry on, see where it gets you.”

Mary was saved the trouble of responding as, at that point, Alex gave a loud yell and the bowl of porridge Frank had been feeding him from was knocked from his hands and landed all over the leg of his jeans. There was a pause, as Frank glanced down at the slop spreading over his thigh before he looked at Alex whose eyes were watering and seconds later a loud wail of frustration at the lack of food burst from his son’s mouth.

“For fffff sake, why?” Frank groaned, cutting the swear word short as he ran his hand through his messy hair, shaking his head.

“You know, I’m not much of one for all that fate and philosophy stuff,” his mother spoke as she walked into the kitchen, “but this, Frank, really does feel like straight up karma.”

Frank glared at her as he stood up and took the tea towel from the side and wiped at his jeans. “Fuck my life,” he muttered under his breath as Thor happily trotted over to the spilt porridge on the floor, cleaning it up with laps of his large tongue, Fred also hopping down off the seat at the breakfast bar to investigate the coveted, spilt human food.

“Karma for what?” Mary asked, from where she’d successfully manage to distract Alex from his tears by waving his little stuffed lion at him, the baby making grabbing gestures towards it.

“His own spectacular ability to misbehave.” Evelyn looked at Mary as she handed Alex the toy. “You know, he once sat down in the middle of a supermarket and refused to leave because I told him that it was Wednesday and Wednesday does not begin with the letter S”

Mary roared with laughter as Frank tossed the dirty towel into the sink before reaching into the cupboard for another jar of baby porridge.

“Look, that big yellow feathered bastard on Sesame Street told me that day was brought to me by the letter S.” He looked at Evelyn, then to Mary who was still howling with laughter, Alex now joining in, all tears forgotten. “He lied.”

“That was a particularly furious melt down, Francis.” Evelyn grinned and Frank rolled his eyes as he got the replacement porridge ready.

“What did you do?” Mary asked.

“It was your Grandfather that sorted him out, darling. He threw Frank over his shoulder and carried him straight out of the shop. I don’t know what he said or did, but by the time I got back to the car Frank was quiet as a mouse.”

“I think he threatened to feed me to said big yellow feathered bastard.” Frank chuckled as he sat back down and offered Alex another spoon of porridge which the baby eagerly took, making little appreciative noises as he did so. “Did you not notice I never watched another episode?”

“Another episode of what?” Fliss asked, and Frank looked up smiling at her as she crossed the room, Alex’s noises getting more excited as he looked at his momma.

“Sesame Street.” Evelyn supplied as Frank gave Alex another spoon of his breakfast, as Fliss dropped a kiss first on Mary’s head, then Alex’s, before finally pressing one to Frank’s cheek

“I’m not even gonna ask.” She snorted, moving to pour herself a coffee.

“Probably wise.” Mary nodded and at that Frank laughed.

“First sensible thing you’ve said all morning.” He teased, drawing another glare from the ten year old.

“Shut up.”

“Erm, enough.” Fliss looked at her, then to Frank. “The pair of you are worse than he is.” She nodded to Alex and then turned to Evelyn, waving the coffee pot in a silent question.

“Oh, no thanks. I had a tea before.” Evelyn smiled.

At that point, Thor gave a little woof and ran to the utility room, as Verity’s voice rang out in greeting.

“Nanny V!” Mary ran to her, giving her a huge hug as Verity smiled, bending down to give her a hug.

“Hey Pudding!” She beamed, standing up, before she glanced around the room, smiling. “Oh, where’s my little man?”

“I suspect at home on the sofa.” Frank quipped, earning him a light slap round the head as Verity leaned down to give Alex’s head a soft kiss, the baby laughing and grabbing at her hair. Frank hastily un-fisted Alex’s fingers from his Nanna’s auburn locks and handed him the spoon to play with instead.

“You ready?” Verity asked, looking at Fliss. She nodded, taking a large gulp of coffee before setting the mug down on the side.

“I’ll just go grab my purse.”

As Fliss left the room, Frank looked at Verity. “She’s nervous. A little overwhelmed I think.”

“Yeah, well it’s getting nearer and this is a big deal to most girls.” Verity smiled. “Plus, we all know she didn’t get to choose her last one so…”

“Well, let’s do what my mother did to me.” Evelyn smiled, as she looked up from where she’d been examining her lipstick in a pocket mirror. “Ply her with enough champagne and make it fun. She’ll be fine.”

Verity smiled and Frank rolled his eyes. “The last time you two plied her with champagne she barfed all over the bedroom.”

“Well,” Verity smirked, “that’s your problem now, not mine. Lord knows I’ve cleaned up enough of her and Steve’s drunken messes in my lifetime.”

“Thanks V.” Frank nodded seriously. “Thanks, a lot.”

*****

 Fliss took a deep breath, zoning out as she rifled through a rack at the back of the room. Verity, Evelyn, Bonnie and Sian were all chatting away behind her but it was merely background noise as she scanned dress after dress, nothing catching her eye.

“Have you any idea on what you want?” A soft voice behind her made her jump and she turned to see the assistant, a slight, grey haired woman called Sofia who had been assigned to help them today.

“Nope.” Fliss sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m totally useless.”

Sofia laughed and shook her head. “Don’t worry about it Miss Gallagher, a lot of women come in with either no ideas at all or tonne of ideas that don’t work out. If you don’t know what you want, do you know what you don’t want?”

“Yeah, that’s easy.” Fliss nodded. “I don’t want anything huge, or full of tulle or, you know-” she held her arms out to the side. “-princess bride like. Did that last time, hated it.”

“In that case we can completely ignore these two racks!” Sofia smiled and Fliss grinned as she allowed the woman to lead her a little further round the room. “And that’s half the battle. So, have you been anywhere else before here?”

“Two other boutiques.” Fliss nodded. “And I found nothing.”

“You know, most people think it’s all easy and fun hunting for dresses but, well, I know when I was looking it was so stressful!”

“You’re not wrong.” Fliss stopped at one dress which had caught her attention. It was a plain, off white colour with a simple skirt and bodice with a little beaded detail and chunky straps. “I kinda like the cut of this one.”

“Ah, a trumpet cut.” Sofia supplied, nodding.

“But I don’t know about the neckline, it’s a little…”

“Boring.” Sofia smiled as Fliss snorted. “But, we’ll take it for reference.” The woman lifted it off the rack, placing it onto the rail she’d wheeled alongside them. “So where are you getting married?”

“St Pete’s Public Access.” Fliss smiled. “Which is another reason I don’t want a huge dress. I’ll melt.”

Sofia laughed. “Not to mention the sand getting stuck in it.” She grinned. “Okay, what about this one?”

She lifted a similar cut dress off the rail, this one with a slightly more detailed neckline and Fliss nodded. “Yeah, I quite like that.”

“And this one.”

As Sofia held up the third dress, Fliss paused, tilting her head to one side. “I love the back of this.” Sofia gushed, turning it round. “It’s so detailed.”

“It’s beautiful.” Fliss smiled, her hand reaching out to brush the detailed lace as she studied the garment in front of her.

“Oh, wow!” She heard her mum say and she turned to look at her, then Bonnie who held up the bottle of champagne, Fliss handing over her now empty glass. “Lissy, that’s stunning!”

“It’s gorgeous isn’t it?” Fliss beamed, taking the refilled glass off Bonnie with a thanks.

“The detailing.” Evelyn mused, before she looked at Sofia. “Is that a Nicolle Miller by any chance?”

“Yes.” Sofia looked at Evelyn, frowning, and Fliss turned her head to look at her future mother-in-law, raising an eyebrow.

“She’s from Massachusetts.” Evelyn smiled. “I’ve seen a few of her dresses from time to time, they’re quite recognisable if you know what you’re looking for.”

“My fiancé’s from Boston.” Fliss informed, and Sofia’s mouth made a little O of understanding before she smiled.

“Well, if that isn’t a sign then I don’t know what is.” She beamed. “Would you like to see it on?”

Fliss bit her lip, before she looked at her mum her gave her a huge smile. With a grin on her face, and for the first time that day, a feeling of excitement in her stomach she nodded. Handing her champagne over to Bonnie, she followed Sofia into the changing room at the back, and was soon out of her denim shorts and t-shirt, stepping into the dress. Sofia came in to help her do it up, and it wasn’t even half way fastened before Fliss simply knew this was what she wanted, not even caring it was the first one she’d tried on. Nothing was going to come close to this.

“It’s a little big, around the bust so just give me a second.” Sofia moved to the back of the cubicle and picked up a few clothes pegs, tugging the dress around so it fit right and Fliss smiled, smoothing her hands down over her stomach as she stood, admiring it.

It was hard to guess at the actual shape as its bottom dabbled somewhere between a trumpet and mermaid cut. Her hips were accentuated by the firm fitting cream colored, hand stitched floral lace sewn into a nude overlay. Her back and side panels were completely different. The creamy lace design covered her back and sides with just her soft and delicate skin underneath, the nude underlay that covered her breasts and behind a near match to her skin. It hugged her curves perfectly, the lace covered her shoulders and down her chest in a two finger width and came together in a beautiful heart shape neckline, showing off her delicate décolletage shoulders. It kissed her skin, allowing enough cleavage but much to the imagination as it elegantly, and yet still incredibly sexy, covered her body.

It was something Fliss would never have dreamed of getting married in before but now, well, it felt right. It felt like her.

She took a shaky breath, her vision swimming with tears before she locked eyes with Sofia in the mirror, the older woman giving an appreciative nod. “It looks gorgeous, Honey!” She then handed Fliss a tissue and Fliss took it, giving a little shake of her head.

“I’m sorry, I-“

“Don’t apologise,” Sofia waved her away, “it’s a big thing. Now, you ready to go show the rest of them?”

Fliss nodded and Sofia gathered up the train of the dress, and Fliss stepped out of the little room and into the main area of the boutique. As she moved into the room, the other four women turned to face her and Verity’s hand immediately flew to her mouth.

“What do you think?” Fliss asked, shyly. “I know it’s the first one I’ve tried on but I don’t think I want to bother with anymore, I love it.”

Bonnie raised her eyebrows, her mouth falling open. “Oh my God, Fliss.” She gasped. “It’s…”

“Stunning.” Evelyn nodded in agreement, as Sian gave a hum.

“Liss, you’ll knock him dead.”

Fliss gave a smile and then looked at Verity. “Mum?”

Verity’s hand was shaking as she moved it down, and she opened her mouth, before she closed it again, taking a deep and shuddering breath, Sian curling her arm round her shoulder.

“Oh, Lissy…” Verity sniffed, her face creasing up as the tears began to slide down her cheeks. Immediately, more tissues were offered as Fliss also felt her eyes watering at the sight of her mum crying in front of her.

“Mum, don’t!” She gave a little laugh and Verity shook her head, dabbing at her eye.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart but I never thought I’d be here with you, trying on dresses as last time…” She stopped herself as Sian gave her a squeeze. “And now seeing you there with that look on your face, in that dress, ready to marry a man you deserve to be with, well, this is all I ever wanted for you.”

By the time Verity had finished there wasn’t a dry eye in the room, even Sofia had shed a tear. Verity stepped forward and carefully pulled her daughter into a hug, before she stepped back, kissing her forehead.

“I love you, my baby girl.” She sniffed. “God, your dad is going to bawl his eyes out when he sees this!”

Fliss smiled, and Sofia then directed her onto a little box before she called over to another woman who headed across the room with a tape measure. As they took a few measurements for the alterations, Fliss was vaguely aware that her Mum and Bonnie were both taking a photo, but in all honesty her eyes were glued to her reflection in the mirror in front of her. And she wasn’t looking at her dress. She was fixated on the huge smile that was on her face, a smile that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop.

****** “Hey, Stack, how about we go outside for a little while?” Frank opened the door to the den. “Alex has gone down for his nap so it’s just us.”

“In a minute, I’m just looking at something.” She replied, her eyes still on her laptop as she lounged on her beanbag, Heartland playing on the TV in the background.

“Come on, you’ve been sat in here for hours.”

“Yeah but this is really cool.” She looked up. “I’ve been tracing Monty’s lineage again for my collage, and then I got looking at Heidi’s and dug into all this cool info on her and the other horses that she was bred from.”

Frank obliged as Mary gestured to him, taking a seat next to her on the floor as she moved the laptop so he could see it.

“So, this is Heidi, ‘Sandybrook Hideaway’.” Mary’s fingers pointed to the box at the left of the screen. “And this is Heidi’s dad, ‘Louella Inschello’ and this is her mom, ‘Tremontano Esmerelda’. I can go even further back and find like her grandparents and great grandparents all the way into the seventies.”

“How come Heidi had the name Sandybrook?” Frank asked. “And not Louella or Tremontano or whatever?”

“It doesn’t work like with humans.” Mary shrugged. “You can’t use people’s prefixes that don’t belong to you when you’re naming a horse. Fliss said that the people who bred Heidi made the prefix Sandybrook because of their farm being near the beach in England, and there was a brook running alongside the fields. That’s what all their horses then became called, Heidi being the first, look…”

She moved the screen along a little, and Frank traced the little line that ran from Heidi’s name to another box. “’Sandybrook Typhoon’, sire- Renkum Renogade, dam- Sandybrook Hideaway…” he trailed off before he looked at Mary. “Heidi had a baby?”

“Yup.” Mary nodded. “Fliss showed me photos of him on their website. He’s huge. And real pretty. He was a big, fancy dressage horse that one her friends used to compete and they kept him at the stud farm to breed from because he was that pretty, but he died three years ago. He broke his leg and couldn’t get better.”

“Ouch.” Frank grimaced.

Mary nodded. “I know. This was his last foal, look. ‘Sandybrook Cleopatra’. She was born in 2017, and check out her mom’s name.”

“Sandybrook Dirty Diana.” Frank smiled, and let out a chuckle as Mary smiled at him as she clicked on a small link which opened up to show a beautiful bay filly with four white socks and a white blaze. Her face markings instantly struck Frank as being very similar to Heidi’s even if she was a different colour.

“So this would mean that this one is Heidi’s granddaughter?” Frank asked.

“Yup.” Mary nodded.

“That’s pretty cool, Stack.”

“Mom thought so too.” Mary grinned. “She showed me how to do it as I wanted to check out Monty’s history. I asked her about Heidi’s and she showed me this and she was like, really smiling when she saw Cleo, she didn’t know they’d had a foal from Typhoon the year he died. And there’s lots of photos of Heidi as a baby too on their history page, and she has a really cool profile.” She took a pause for breath and Frank gently dropped his hand to the back of her head, smiling at her enthusiasm. “They added a bit last week to say she’d died and it’s kinda sad but also kinda nice. They thanked Fliss her for giving her a wonderful home and said there was no one better on the Earth for your horse to be sold to than an Olympic Gold Medal winner.”

“How did they know she’d died?” Frank asked. “Did Fliss call them?”

“She emailed them. She said she had also asked them about Cleopatra.”

“Asked about her? You mean to buy?”

“I think so.” Mary nodded. “She sold Bronson the other month and now Heidi is gone she only has Cap left.”

“Yeah, I know. She mentioned maybe getting another but I didn’t know she’d been looking.”

“I don’t think she has, it’s just because she saw Cleopatra. I mean, it would be cool if she did buy her.” Mary shrugged. “She’s a part of Heidi in a way isn’t she?”

“Yeah, suppose she is.” Frank mused. “So, was Fliss not sure about her then or…”

“She said she liked her.” Mary shrugged. “But she’s not for sale on the website so I don’t know what they said. They might have said no, or maybe it’s because she’s busy. You know what she’s like.”

Frank did, only too well. When it came to buying things for herself to enjoy, Fliss was actually very reserved. She didn’t think twice about buying stuff for the house, or for the family, or her work, but her own, personal things, she seemed to have a real reticence to simply splurge on, and he had a feeling that went back to when she’d been married previously.

As his eyes flicked over the details on the screen, an idea flashed in his head. And it was a crazy one but…

“What do you think she would do if we bought her one for her birthday?” He turned to Mary.

“What, bought her a horse?”

“Yeah.”

“This horse?” Mary pointed at the screen to the picture of the bay mare and Frank nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Probably call you a crazy asshole, start crying and say it’s the best present ever.” Mary looked at him and Frank chuckled.

“I can live with that.”

“You know, you better hurry up if you’re gonna do it. Mom’s birthday is like, weeks away!”

“It’s not until the end of July.” Frank replied. “We got nearly two months. Do you not think that will be enough time?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never shipped a horse over here from England!” Mary scoffed, before they shared a look, almost identical expressions of realisation crossing their faces as they instantly realised they both knew someone who had. “Poppa Bill!” Mary stated excitedly. “He’ll help!”

“Sure he will.” Frank nodded. “Right, you better get me the email address, Stack. And not a word of this to Mom okay? This is top secret.”

“What do you take me for?” Mary looked at him indignantly and Frank looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

“You really want me to answer that?”

Mary pondered for a moment before she snorted. “Not really.”

******

“So, did you have a nice time today?” Frank asked as they lay in bed later that night.

“Yeah.” Fliss smiled, snuggling further into his chest as his hand gently ran up and down her arm, his fingers softly tickling her skin. “I did.”

“Good.” He kissed her head. “I’m glad. You were so worried about it all.”

“That obvious, huh?” She sighed and Frank chuckled.

“To me, yeah.” He shifted a little to look down at her. “But that’s only because I know you so well.”

“I didn’t know what to expect.” She shrugged. “I was just a little overwhelmed at the thought, you know, of having to make the decision but when we got to the first shop, I dunno, I kinda realised that I’ve been making decisions about our wedding all along. And, when it came down to it, it wasn’t really that much different to when we picked your suit.”

Frank chuckled. “To be fair, Sweetheart, we’d been in the shop all of five minutes before you spotted the one you liked.”

“Hey, it wasn’t just me.” She protested, tilting her head to look at him. “You liked it too.”

“I do.” Frank agreed. “But I saw the look on your face when you saw it which is what completely sold it to me.”

A lightweight wool three piece suit dyed a stunning steel blue shade had fit Frank expertly. It made his eyes pop and the crisp white button down underneath offered a nice contrast. But what made Fliss fall for the ensemble was the tie. The flash of burgundy, sand, white and grey stood out against the white dress shirt with the stripes of blue pulling in the blue of the three piece. The tailor suggested a printed silk pocket swath with polka dots and paisley printed against a deep blue background.

Frank caught Fliss’ eye in the mirror as the tailor straightened the back of his jacket and arched his brow. She hastily released her lip from between his teeth and gave him a little sheepish look, and he bit back the snort at the fact he’d just caught her looking at him in the way she usually did when she was feeling a little bit ‘frisky’ for want of a better word.

“But I’m clean.” Frank joked, causing the tailor to look up a little, puzzled expression on his face and Fliss laughed.

“Yeah, well this is clearly your Professor look, not the dirty boat daddy one.”

At that the tailor scooted off, Frank watching him go before he turned to Fliss and shook his head. “You’re terrible, you know that?”

She shrugged and smiled as she looked him up and down appraisingly, stepping forward and smoothing her hands up the lapels of the jacket. “You look incredibly handsome, babe.”

Frank gave her a smile and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “You almost sound surprised.”

“Not at all.” Fliss shook her head.

A cough from the tailor interrupted them as he had returned with a shoe box and Frank gave him a nod as Fliss stepped back. Once he had laced up the shiny, burnt brown oxfords, Frank moved again to take in the final, finished look and took a deep breath, smiling.

He liked it. A lot.

“So basically, you picked the first suit you tried on and I picked the first dress I tried on.” Fliss snorted and Frank shrugged. “We’re getting married on the beach, having what is basically a barn dance with food trucks…are we taking any of this seriously?”

“Nope.” Frank shook his head and Fliss laughed again as he moved, rolling her a little so she was on her back and he was hovering over her. “But, I think both of us have taken life far too seriously for far too long enough, time for a little fun.”

“Well that fills me full of confidence since we’re writing our own declarations.” She teased and Frank arched his brow.

“You’re talking to an ex Philosophy Professor-”

“Assistant-“

“Whatever, the point is, I’m very good with words.” Frank smirked and Fliss scoffed. “I got you to go on a date with me, didn’t I?”

“That wasn’t down to your words.” Fliss shook her head.

“No? Was it my devastating good looks?”

“That and the fact you’re basically the best man I’ve ever met.” Fliss smiled. “Well, apart from my dad. And Steve. So you’re definitely in the top three best men I’ve ever met.”

Frank laughed and took a deep breath, before he moved, propping himself up a little on his elbow, brushing Fliss’ hair back off her face. “Joking aside, marrying you is something I’m taking very seriously. I can’t wait to say ‘I do,’ get that ring on your finger and finally call you my wife as well as the mother of my kids. But the minute that bit is done then, all bets are off. No stuffy formalities, no pointless, boring traditions, well, apart from the ones we decide we wanna uphold and absolutely no vowing to obey,” he looked at her as she took a breath, “which is a relief because, frankly, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being bossed around.”

Fliss smiled, knowing full well what he was saying. That vow had been one that John had insisted on, and whilst she had never raised the issue to Frank directly, because in all honestly she didn’t feel she needed to, the fact he’d picked up on the way she’d subtly opted for the other vows when they’d had to pick them for the official, made her heart swell in her chest.

“So, I err, I also had another off the wall idea.” Fliss looked at him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I know we said we weren’t gonna give each other presents and stuff for the wedding, but, I thought…actually, forget it.”

“No, come on tell me.”

“No, it’s…”

“Liss!” He said, looking at her and she sighed, her eyes moving away from his, scanning the inked words just below his collar bone.

“Tatoos.” She whispered, looking back at him. “I thought, well, that we could get one each. Not matching as such, but you know, for each other.” Frank blinked and she snorted. “See it’s a dumb idea, I just really want another and well, that was another thing I was never allowed, and-”

“I didn’t say it was dumb.” Frank cut her off, shaking his head. “I think it’s a great idea.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I do.” He nodded. “I’ve been thinking about getting another for a couple of months now, I want one for Alex, so having one for you too, well then I’ve got a full set.”

She smiled, her fingers reaching up and tracing the Taurus on his bicep, Mary’s star sign. “What you thinking of getting for Bean?”

“The time of his birth, and the date underneath all in Roman numerals. On my other arm.”

Fliss beamed. “I love that.” She pondered. “I thought about one for the kids too, maybe on my wrist but I don’t know what yet.”

“Well, l can speak to Jake.” Frank kissed her nose. “He’s fucking sweet at art, tell him what we want he’ll draw us a couple of designs and then we can go to the place I got my last one done and book in.” He paused. “So, where you gonna get the one for me?”

“Well, I errr think, I mean if-” She paused, looking at Frank as he waited for her answer and she realised that for a split second she’d been about to ask his permission. But as he simply looked at her, she licked her lips and smiled. She didn’t need to ask, she could just tell him. “I know exactly where I’m going to have it.”

“Show me.”

“So bossy.” She smirked, pushing on his shoulders and making him sit up. Biting her lip she lifted her cami top up a little, her hand pushing up her left breast and she traced the area underneath, just along her rib cage. “Only you will really see it then, well, other than when I’m in a bikini, I suppose.” She stopped talking as she spotted the familiar darkening in Frank’s eyes as he took her in, his eyes sliding up her frame to meet hers. She bit her lip, smiling as he crawled back over her, pushing her back onto the bed a little, her top still hitched up.

“You know,” his hands gently slid up her side, fingers tracing the spot she was talking about, “that area is supposedly quite sensitive.”

“Really?” She whispered, her eyes closing.

“Hmmhmmm.” He hummed, dropping his head, placing a soft kiss just there, and her breath hitched, before she emitted a soft little squeak as Frank’s lips were replaced by his teeth when he gave a soft nip. “Oh, yeah, definitely sensitive. You’re gonna need someone to hold your hand.”

“Luckily I know just the guy.” She sighed, his mouth now trailing a path across her body to her sternum.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll take Steve.”

“You really want your brother there when someone’s tattooing under your boob?” At that she stilled and looked down at him. He paused, his chin resting in between her breasts and he gave her a quizzical look. “What?”

“Are you okay with that?”

“With what? Your brother being-“

“No, idiot!” She slapped his head lightly and he gave an ow of protest. “I mean with me having it there? I mean, if it means the guy there’s gonna see-“

“Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Then, yeah, I don’t give a shit.” He shrugged, his lips returning to her skin. “Now, can you shut up and let me give you an orgasm?”

“Just one?” Her voice was a breathy whisper as his lips traced their way up her neck and he gave a little growl, nipping at her jaw.

“Greedy bitch.” He mumbled, causing her to chuckle a little, before his lips met hers in a heated kiss. Her hands snaked into the back of his short hair, nails scratching his scalp a little as his tongue curled against hers in dominating swipes, a rumble in the back of his throat flowing into her mouth.

His hands curled around her hips, before they slid upwards and grasped at the top she was wearing which was bunched unevenly up around her chest. He pulled back and Fliss sat up a little to allow him to yank it off and he tossed it carelessly behind him, where it dropped somewhere onto the bedroom floor. His lips crashed back to hers with an urgency she met back movement for movement. Frank shifted, nudging her legs further apart with his knees, so he could settle in between them, his lips moving back to her jaw, down her neck, moving himself downwards, taking his time and lavishing affection all the way down her body. His hands curled round her knees as his nose skimmed below her bellybutton and he placed a soft kiss onto her tummy before he felt her tugging on his hair.

“Frankie, I want you.”

He peeked up at her, and arched a brow. “I thought you wanted more than one?”

“Changed my mind.”

“Fickle.” He muttered, as he sat up, pulling down her sleep shorts before he discarded his boxers, kicking them down his legs. He gently nipped at the inside of her thigh before he brushed his cheek and beard up her leg, smirking as he heard a tiny mewl from above. With a pace that was agonisingly slow he moved back upwards, his hands moving up the side of her body as he went, gently moving across, thumbs brushing over each of her nipples which were pebbled in anticipation. Fliss arched her back, inhaling sharply as her groin bumped against his, dragging a low grumble from his throat as she twitched underneath him, pressed up against where she needed him most. Taking her hands in his, his thumbs skated over her knuckles before he interlocked their fingers and pressed her hands down on the pillow next to her head.

“God, you’re beautiful." He mumbled leaning down and running his nose alongside hers before kissing her deeply. Fliss gave a little preen of delight at his praise, and he broke the kiss, his lips remaining on hers. “My perfect, Lissy.”

She responded by kissing him hard, a kiss which was broken when he slowly pushing inside her in a gentle, fluid moment, eliciting a moan from them both. He drew back a little and then thrust forward deeply, before he kissed her again, his hips finding a languid, rocking rhythm, his bottom lip nibbling on hers. Fliss rolled her body up taking him deeper, moans and gasps slipping freely into each other’s mouths as he slowly built up his rhythm, his fingers curling around hers tightly as he watched her, felt her shudder as he hit her spot again and again with every rut of his hips until she was writhing underneath him, begging him not to stop.

And he didn’t, not until he’d dragged two orgasms from her, and he’d almost managed a third when he knew he couldn’t fight off his own release any longer. With a whimper that was almost pathetic, he slowed down, his hand dropping between them to stroke at her sensitive nub, and with a hoarse sob she bucked violently as she came again, her walls tightening around him and with a choked cry of her name he let go, his release coating her walls and he throbbed inside of her as she pulsed around him. His elbows gave way and he pitched forward, his sweaty brow pressing into the crook of her neck as his chest heaved, both of them completely spent.

Fliss happily welcomed his weight on top of her as he caught his breath, both of them trembling in the afterglow. She flexed her fingers and he let go of her hands, and she slid her arms round him, fingers dancing up his spine. Frank gave a soft hum of contentment as he lazily raised his head, catching her mouth in a soft kiss before his nose bumped against hers.

He was in no rush to move, which suited Frank fine as he lay there, on top of her, slow kisses being traded before eventually he pulled back and she gave him a soft smile, which lit up her entire face.

“Was that enough for you?” He asked cheekily and she laughed, swatting at his back with her hand.

*****

The next week or so passed in a whirl of work and overseeing the construction at the yard. Frank was still mad busy, but he’d pushed his nagging feelings about his job to the back of his mind. He and Fliss had talked about it at length and he’d decided to wait until the wedding was done before he made a final decision. Whilst Fliss had told him she’d support him either way, he didn’t want to throw his career into turmoil whilst they had so much going on.

The yard expansion was progressing to schedule, despite a pretty nasty storm which had initially set them back a day or so, but Frank had to hand it to the guys Bill had recommended, they’d pulled the lost time back. And, to top it all off, he’d even managed to finish the final mechanical works to his boat, which meant now all he had to do was the cosmetic work. For that, he was happy to let Bill help, his future father-in-law very eager to lend a hand on Friday evenings, especially when the job came with a steady supply of beer.

It was win-win as far as Frank was concerned. Fliss and her mum would sit in the garden, drinking wine, dipping in and out of the pool whilst Mary was at Roberta’s, the four adults taking dinner together, which he always enjoyed, and it also meant he could rope Bill into his master plan for Fliss’ birthday. When he’d first told him his idea, Bill had grown a little emotional, admitting to Frank that seeing him care so much that he want to do something as thoughtful as that for his baby-girl was something he appreciated beyond belief. Frank also consulted Joanne, and between the three of them they now had a pretty watertight plan. Bill was lending Frank the money, for which Frank was grateful for as, whilst Joanne had helped him to the negotiating on the price for the animal, the transportation and associated veterinary fees were more expensive than the damned horse herself. Should the overall amount it was going to cost him go missing from their savings, Fliss was going to start asking questions and he wanted it to be a total surprise.

All in all, Frank was as settled and happy as he had felt in months. Life was good, and as the middle of June rolled round, the feeling in the Adler-Gallagher household was as relaxed and as happy as it had ever been.

“Awww you want a biscuit, Baby?” Fliss looked at Alex who was making grabby hands at the one she had in her hand. “Okay, here…”

She snapped the cookie into two and handed him a half. Alex looked at it for a second before he shoved it in his mouth, turning to look at Frank as he walked into the kitchen. The little boy raised his hands making cooing noises before jamming his precious treat back into his mouth.

“Hey, you got a cookie, buddy?” Frank smiled as Alex made a little noise of delight at the taste, and Fliss cleared her throat.

“He has a biscuit.”

Frank looked at Fliss, rolling his eyes before he moved and picked up the packet, pointing to the label.

“They’re cookies, Fliss.”

Fliss groaned. “Cookies are a specific type of biscuit. What he has there is not a cookie!”

“Look, Lissy, you’re gonna confuse the boy.” Frank looked at her. “Poor kid’ll be going to a restaurant and askin’ for a biscuit, expecting cookies, and then they bring him like biscuits and gravy and-“

“Don’t even get me started on those, Francis.” Fliss narrowed her eyes, pointing at him. “They’re not biscuits, they are scones.”

“The hell they are!”

“Oh piss off, Frank!”

Frank gave a loud laugh. “Hang on, are we actually arguing about this right now? Over what we call a certain baked treat?”

Fliss bit into one of the offending items and smirked. “Get it right and we won’t be.”

“You are such a fucking brat at times!” Frank shook his head as Fliss grinned and shrugged.

“So?”

“Just stating a fact, Sweetheart.”

“So am I. They’re biscuits”

“Oh for the love of-look,” Frank once again nudged the packet on the island, “they’re cookies and nothing you say or do is gonna make me call them anything else!”

“Nothing?” Fliss raised her eyebrows.

“Nope.” Frank folded his arms.

“Hmmm.” Fliss took a step towards him, her hands wrapping round his arms, pulling them away from his chest before her palms flattened on his pecs, smoothing up to his shoulders. “Call them biscuits, Sailor, and I’ll go down on you so fast you can’t even remember your own name.”

“They’re biscuits.” Frank replied immediately, the second she played that card, he didn’t give a shit what the hell they were called.

Fliss laughed, her hands sliding up round his neck. “Like I said, brains are in your dick.”

“Yeah, and now my dick’s gonna be in your mouth, Cowgirl.” Frank shot back, causing Fliss to snort. “Better get to it, I need to go pick Mary up in ten.”

“Hmmm, yeah, I didn’t specify when.” Fliss patted his chest and stepped back as Frank blinked, before he shot her a playful glare.

“You fight dirty.”

“Oh, Sailor.” Fliss tossed her hair over her shoulder as she moved back to the kitchen to move their used breakfast dishes from the sink to the dishwasher. “You should know this by now.”

“So, you basically expect me to drive down to St Pete’s now with a semi hard-on?”

Fliss looked at him. “It’s your own fault?”

“How is it my fault?” Frank laughed, incredulously.

“If you’d have just agreed I was right in the first place, then you wouldn’t have a problem.”

Frank blinked before he shook his head, turning to Alex. “Your momma’s logic blows my mind, Bean.”

“That’s the only thing that’s getting blown, Fliss quipped and at that Frank let out a loud laugh, “for now.”

She shot him another look over her shoulder and Frank groaned, knowing full well that if he didn’t leave he was going to end up pounding her over the kitchen island. And, as tempting as that was, he had places to be.

“Come on, Son.” Frank unclipped Alex from the seat. “Let’s go get your sister.” He reached over and grabbed a cookie from the packet. “Here, have another unnamed, generic baked item for the trip.”

**** Chapter 24