#nikolai lantsov fics

[exyzedd]

cannot stop making textposts😔👍🏼

(pics used aren't mine)

[happyhauntt]

— march fic recs, brought to you by happyhauntt.

a wee fic rec post for a few of the fics i read in march that altered my brain chemistry!! i've put a lil comment next to each rec because honestly writers don't get praised enough for their work these days and i wanted to show my appreciation for these talented souls!!

grishaverse.

➡ kaz brekker.

what do you want from me by @rubysunnday. notes: literally perfect wtf.

dark days by rubysunnday. notes: i reread this literally constantly, it is so perfect, kaz's characterisation is perfect, i adore it.

bloody hands by rubysunnday. notes: i devoured this whole thing like a starving person it was sO good.

when am i gonna lose you? by @crowsmybeloveds. notes: this is so beautiful honestly i have no words.

the lost princess by @ellewritesalright. notes: look it's only part one but elle is a fucking wizard and i'm a sucker for an anastasia au.

you and me (a whole lot of history) by @heliads. notes: this was so cute and such a clever concept i fell in love!!!

schat by @amourology. notes: fully choked this is so adorable.

soulmate by @magpiencrow. notes: KAZ BREKKER SOULMATE AU didn't know i needed this but now i need 100 more!!!!

➡ nikolai lantsov.

nine long years series by @ellewritesalright. notes: i am actively fucking screaming over this fic. i will never stop. this might genuinely be the best thing i've read in a LONG while. everything about it has me sobbing i actively CANNOT COPE. and it's not even finished yet.

one of us by @songofpatrochilless. notes: literally had me sobbing you don't understand the domesticity of it all!!!!!.

come on back to me by @atlabeth. notes: there is a very strong chance that i'll literally never stop screaming about this fic.

dreams of you by @wh0refornikolailantsov. notes: every cell in my body is SCREAMING.

this love by @lantsovsupremacist. notes: did not, in fact, give you permission to hurt me like this do it again.

salt in the wound by @in-my-feels-probably. notes: brain goes brrrr this has everything i need to survive tbh.

wanting was enough by @rubysunnday. notes: beautiful stunning magnificent i want to eat it.

an exhausted smile by @writing-havoc. notes: think i had an aneurysm reading this it was that amazing.

run away with me by @sumsebien. notes: i am still sobbing over this.

in emerald hearts, emerald minds by @undiscovered-horizon. notes: love love love love love. there aren't enough words in any language to describe how much i love this.

➡ alina starkov.

alina starkov x reader by @heliads. notes: alina does not get nearly enough love and this was so fucking sad and cute and brilliant.

➡ nina zenik.

the ten steps to 'i love you' by @sophierequests. notes: this was SO HEARTWARMING AND SWEET i adored it!!!

➡ zoya nazyalensky.

forget-me-nots by @syllvane. notes: not enough zoya fics on this hellsite. but also this ripped my heart out and made me sob so RUDE. i feel devastated.

➡ inej ghafa.

inej ghafa x reader by @heliads. notes: INEJ MY SWEET BABY, this fic is everything to me. everything. and it's so beautifully written!!!

➡ the darkling.

the dark side of the moon series by @myhairpintrigger. notes: this fic is ASTOUNDING. i haven’t cried this much reading something in a long time. i was FULL-BODY SOBBING. i don’t even like the darkling. i am Not a darkling girlie. but i was intrigued by concept of this fic and i can safely say it has ruined my life. this is Emotional Damage Incarnate. i will never recover. author, i salute you.

911.

through the smoke by @borntobewondering. notes: spent twenty whole minutes sobbing after reading this. i felt undone i felt hollow i felt so utterly fucked. author is a genius and that's all there is to say.

not so one night stand by @shmaptainwrites. notes: this was so fuckin adorable i'm in love.

d.c. to l.a. by shmaptainwrites. notes: bobby my guy just doesn't get enough fucking credit and this is so fucking adorable.

criminal minds.

➡ spencer reid.

trouble almost all my life by @januaryembrs. notes: this series is. it's literally. everything. i love bugsy like she's my own child. sister relationships are everything to me. i spent an hour sobbing in my bed over parts 2 and 3. i want this tattooed on my forehead.

➡ aaron hotchner.

found by @benedictscanvas. notes: DADDY i mean what. all jokes aside this was so sweet and beautiful and i'm in love the writing!!!

doctor who.

rage rage (against the dying of the light) by @morganas-pendragons. notes: felt feral after reading this. kayla just gets me in my feels every time.

heartbeat by morganas-pendragons. notes: this was the most emotional devastating thing i've ever read and i fully needed 3-5 business days to recover. rude. i want 100 more.

untitled by morganas-pendragons. notes: PAIN i love this so much.

ache by morganas-pendragons. notes: just scoop my heart out of my fucking chest i don't want it anymore after reading this.

a mind full of blissful terrors by @magiccath. notes: simply fucking amazing.

light in the dark by @i-imagine-my-doctor. notes: screaming please i adore this so much.

baby talk by @kisstherainwriting. notes: THE ABSOLUTE CUTIEST EVER. there's not enough clara fics and this had me squealing and feeling all warm and fuzzy!!!

holding my hand by kisstherainwriting. notes: angst galore this was STUNNING.

in another's eyes by @cas-kingdom. notes: PERFECTION.

where do we go now series by @theetherealbloom. notes: literally so fucking amazing i don't have enough words.

marauders.

the winner takes it all by @ellecdc. notes: brb faye is having a STROKE--

come back, be here series by ellecdc. notes: i think i had a full on stroke while reading this series. the attention to detail is insane. the characterisation is perfect.

i don't know you anymore (maybe i never really did) by @thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels. notes: SCREECHING i'm in love you don't understand.

bridgerton.

➡ anthony bridgerton.

distractions by @peterpparkrr. notes: simply immaculate.

right person, all the wrong times by @wwinterwitch. notes: did you mean one of my favourite tropes bc this is it.

right in front of me by @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 & @thirteenisles. notes: i felt feral after reading this tbh.

➡ sibling!reader.

reluctant caretaker by @rubysunnday. notes: this fic hit my heart in all the right places okay sibling stuff means everything to me.

did she have a cookie by rubysunnday. notes: a joyous read from start to finish i CACKLED the whole way through.

moon knight.

come back to me by @mgparker. notes: still sobbing. immaculate.

the other sarcophagus by @starryevermore. notes: i literally reread this constantly i adore it so much!!

marc spector x reader by @softlyspector. notes: i had an aneurysm reading this and i haven't been the same since.

more marc spector x reader by softlyspector. notes: i am having an intense emotion hold on. anytime i see autistic stuff in canon content for any fandom i SQUEAK. and this is so well done honestly.

star wars.

heartless by @youvebeenlivingfictional. notes: i reread this constantly, it's so amazing and heartwrenching and beautiful and i want to eat it.

little talks by @light-yaers. notes: you simply do not understand how much i adore everything beff writes. i adore this fic more than i need oxygen to breathe.

right where you left me series by light-yaers. notes: personality-defining series. i LIVE for this fic. every update adds five years to my lifespan. if you're not reading this you are MISSING OUT.

a light, a song, a bluebird by @millllenniawrites. notes: made me SOB 10/10 would recommend if you like emotional trauma.

invisible string by @campingwiththecharmings. notes: pining!!! loneliness!!! i adore!!!

hard landings by @softlyspector. notes: no. no you don't understand. this fic doesn't just own my soul it is my soul. i want it tattooed on my face.

misc.

hopper x reader by @luveline. notes: you don't understand this might be the cutest shit i've ever read and jade is a fellow welsh person which automatically makes them brilliant in my book.

muña by @in-my-feels-probably. notes: alicent means fucking everything to me and this had me sobbing.

mistletoe magic by @writingsbychlo. notes: literally the cutest fucking thing ever, had me kicking my legs and squealing!!

[atlabeth]

mine forever

request from @nghtwngs

pairing: nikolai lantsov x fem!tidemaker reader

a/n: SO sorry for posting this early and having to delete 💀 i was formatting and didnt realize i was not saving it as a draft lmao. but thank you for sending this in love!!! and PLEASEE send in as much nikolai as you want i miss writing for him so much

wc: 1.4k

warning(s): hurt/comfort. reader is insecure, nikolai is the sweetest as usual

join in on my 3k celebration!!

“You’re avoiding me.” 

Your eyes didn’t move away from the horizon when you heard Nikolai’s voice, though you felt your muscles tense. 

“Clearly not well enough,” you remarked. “Seeing as you found me.” 

“You know I’ll always find you,” Nikolai murmured. “But that means little if you will not talk to me.” 

Of course you were not talking to him. You did not know how to talk to him—not when you so clearly didn’t understand the issue plaguing you. 

All you’d ever known was the life of a Grisha. You were tested when you were young, revealed to be a Tidemaker, and whisked away to the Little Palace, where you’d been honing your abilities ever since. You rebelled against the one thing you knew, joined the side of the Sun Summoner, and now you were in the midst of a war for the very survival of your people. 

There were so few Tidemakers left after the Darkling’s massacre, which meant Alina and Nikolai were counting on you more than ever in their fight to reclaim Ravka. 

But when you needed your powers most, they disappeared. 

You— you just didn’t understand, because it didn’t make sense. You’d spent years studying the Small Science and how to wield it, how to manipulate the water around you no matter how miniscule. 

This was not merzost. You had never tampered with the way of the world, never attempted to bastardize the abilities you’d been granted.

Like called to like. There was a part of you that connected to the water, that allowed you the affinity for all of this.  

You had just… lost it. For no apparent reason. 

“There is nothing to talk about,” you stated simply. The cold of the railing shocked your fingers as you set your hand down, but you welcomed any sort of feeling. 

“Do not be ridiculous,” Nikolai said wryly. He came out onto the balcony and stopped beside you. You could see him looking at you through your peripherals, could feel his intent gaze. “Nobody avoids me unless they have a reason.”

You huffed a bitter laugh. “I certainly have a reason, moi tsarevich.”

“So we’ve gone back to titles?” Nikolai’s lips quirked up. “Shall I start referring to you as Grisha? Tidemaker, even?”

You scoffed. “That would be inaccurate.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “We’ve reached the root of the problem.”

“We hardly did anything,” you said. “Do you talk just to hear the sound of your own voice?”

“I do, as a matter of fact,” Nikolai said. “But you should know your scornful words have no effect when I’m aware of your true feelings.”

“If you are aware of my true feelings, you should know I would like to be left alone.” 

“You want to be left alone because you feel useless without your power,” he said. “Any man worth their salt would not fall to that, and fortunately, I’m worth quite a lot.” 

You finally turned to look at Nikolai, though you could not muster the full force of your anger when you did. He had that slight smile still, the glint in his eyes, and all you could think was that you didn't even deserve this kindness. 

“Because I am,” you said. 

He shook his head. “You are not. Far from useless, actually.” 

“You served in the First Army, didn’t you?” 

“I hardly see how that’s relevant—” 

“Just answer my question.” 

“...Yes,” he said. “I was infantry. The 22nd Regiment.” 

“And if you had lost the ability to shoot a gun, would you be allowed to stay on the front lines?” 

Nikolai shook his head. “I will not participate in hypotheticals to help you feel worse.” 

“Because you know it’s true.” You looked back out at the horizon—the sun was steadily setting. “I have no place here anymore.” 

He said your name with a slight huff. “That is not true.” 

“I’m not Grisha anymore!” you exclaimed as you whirled back to face him. “The only reason I have ever gotten anywhere— the only reason I am here, the only reason I ever met you in the first place— it is all because of my power.” You pulled your jacket tighter around yourself in the wake of a cold wind. The material was noticeably thinner than your kefta, but you could not bring yourself to wear it anymore. “I’m useless now. To— to Ravka, to the Second Army— to you.” 

His brows furrowed. “You are not useless to Ravka�� and you could never be useless to me.” You averted your eyes, unable to meet the full weight of his softened gaze, and his frown deepened. “That’s what this is about then? 

“Don’t act like it’s so ridiculous,” you muttered. 

Nikolai had the nerve to laugh, and you glared at him. He held up his hands in defense, but he could not fully bite back his smile. 

“I apologize, lapushka, but I did not even consider that as an option for why you were so upset.” 

Nikolai took your hands in his, hands that had been the key to your power the entire life, that were failing you, and he held them like nothing else in the world mattered. “Do you know how absurd the thought of me not loving you is?” 

You glanced away, but Nikolai gently cupped your chin with a few fingers and tilted you back to meet his eyes. 

“Because it is,” he continued, letting his hand fall back down to grasp yours. “I love you with everything in me. I love you because you are you—not because of your powers. Not because you are Grisha.” 

“Who am I if I am not Grisha?” Your voice came out as little more than a whisper, near a desperate plea. You’d never felt weaker, never felt smaller. The only thing you’d known all your life had been ripped away from you, and you felt as if you’d been shoved into an endless void. 

Nikolai said your name softly as he squeezed your hands. “You are a soldier of great renown. A revolutionary on the right side of history. The most loyal friend someone can have. And lest you somehow manage to forget it, you are the woman I love.”

“You deserve better than—” you swallowed the lump in your throat. “—than some broken, failed Grisha.”

“You are not broken,” Nikolai murmured, and he never looked away from your eyes as he lifted your hand to press a kiss to the back of it. “We are merely on… a different path.” 

“A different path,” you repeated, and you could not help your wry laugh. 

“Yes,” he nodded. “And we will go down every step of it together. Do you understand that?” 

Nikolai fought for everything he had, despite his standing as a Lantsov. He was a soldier on the front lines, he rose through the ranks on the sea under a pseudonym, and now he was clawing his way through useless formalities in order to take back the throne that he deserved. 

And here you were—someone who was given everything because of some power inside you. And now you didn’t even have that. 

It just did not seem right. It did not make sense. For a man as powerful as Nikolai to stick by your side despite such a misgiving. 

“If you don’t, that is alright.” Nikolai shrugged. “I will just have to spend extra time showing you how much I revere your very being.” 

“Nikolai,” you murmured, and his grip on your hands tightened. 

“I cannot pretend to understand what you are going through,” he said. “I cannot lose what you have lost because I’ve never had it in the first place. But I can promise you wholeheartedly that we will figure out what is wrong. Together.” 

“And what if we don’t?” you asked. You couldn’t help it. 

“Then nothing will change,” Nikolai vowed. “Milaya, nothing can tear me away from you, whether you are Grisha or not. Do you understand that?” 

A part of you still could not. Who were you if you were not of use? 

But when you met Nikolai’s eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes that seemed to glow with the sunset, full of softness and admiration and love, you found that you could start to.

You may not have believed in yourself, but Nikolai did. And that had to mean something.  

“I’m beginning to,” you murmured. 

“Good,” he said, and his lips quirked into a smile. “But fear not, milaya. I hold enough love for you inside of me for the both of us in the meantime.” 

[criesinliess]

━JANUARY 2024; susan's recs

STRANGER THINGS

━━STEVE HARRINGTON

we can't be friends (but i'd like to just pretend) @accioharrington9

at least it’s not the end of the world @skeltnwrites

GRISHAVERSE

━━KAZ BREKKER

my tears ricochet @er-osion

pocketwatch @writing-havoc

━━NIKOLAI LANTSOV

bad luck; i’m with you; my love mine all mine @atlabeth

THE BEAR

━━CARMY BERZATTO

second chances @fishfooddude

white tees and zero degrees @notsonian

the cook and the teacher; part2; part3; part4; part5 @romerona

table of contents for the neighbor!reader au @whereubeenloca

MARVEL

━━MATT MURDOCK

obstinacy @ellephlox

━━BUCKY BARNES

closer to home @thebarneschronicles

butterflies; part2 @wolvietxt

━━PETER PARKER

i lied @stevie-petey

━━FRANK CASTLE

i don’t wanna get used to not having you around @dilf-din

HARRY POTTER

━━FRED WEASLEY

the chocolates @mywhisperingwords

━━MATTHEO RIDDLE

of magic & mayhem @redeemingvillains

veritaserum @↑

cold comfort @↑

TWISTERS

━━SCOTT MILLER

bad blood @rosie-read-that

PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS

━━LUKE CASTELLAN

luke taking care of you after a quest @slu7formen

luke will find any excuse to be next to you @↑

you prepare luke for halloween; part2 @↑

shy!luke asks you out @↑

luke sees you again after two years you spent on a quest, missing @↑

OUTER BANKS

━━RAFE CAMERON

the gas station @urmum-lovesme

distractions @lizziesangel

who did this to you?; you’re my problem @↑

waiting on you @↑

million reasons @bettys-redwinesupernova

━━DREW STARKEY

not your bro @bettys-redwinesupernova

ONE PIECE

━━ZORO

infatuation @rubyin-wonderland

TOP GUN: MAVERICK

━━JAKE 'HANGMAN' SERSIN

stay; still here? @sere-sins

━━BRADLEY ' ROOSTER' BRADSHAW

i still love you @lizziesangel

[er-osion]

Enchanted

pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x gn!Reader

summary: A fic based on the song Enchanted by Taylor Swift. Reader is a leading grisha who ends up working with the golden prince of Ravka, how mysteriously enchanting it is that something so sweet can bloom from such terrible circumstances

word count: 2.1k

warnings: none, fluff

you can see the full taylor swift song-fic masterlist here

⋄∘∗⋅⋆≁≁⋆⋅∗∘⋄

The war-room of the Spinning Wheel was dimly lit and terribly furnished, considering its importance. The large circular table was covered from end to end with maps of Ravka. Voices swam furiously over one another, sounds layering in a way that made your skin itch. For all its space and all the people that filled it, the room felt uncomfortably vacant and stale. Your eyes shifted from person to person, each with their own opinions on what was the best next move.

Suddenly someone cleared their voice and all the noise in the room fell. Your gaze flickered up to the origin of the sound and found yourself staring at the Prince –or King, you suppose. All attention was brought to the blonde haired man, his hazel eyes shining in the candlelight.

“It doesn’t matter how vital it is to capture Krenyoska, if we don’t have the supplies to make the journey there and back, the point is moot. I agree, that venture should remain a top priority, but if the primary goal is to get there then we first must acquire all the necessary provisions.” The Prince’s tenor rang throughout the room, bouncing off the empty walls with authority. His face looked young, his skin youthful, but his eyes held the surety of a seasoned General, and his voice carried the insistence of a King. There was a murmur of agreement across the table, but some still took up to point out errors in the King-to-be’s declaration.

“And you suppose these supplies will just fall off a tree, Your Highness? How do we get the provisions we need? If the capturing of Krenyoska is really this involved, we should just focus our attention on another city.” A First Army lieutenant pushed. You watched closely as the Prince digested the lieutenant’s response, clearly putting together a rebuttal.

“Letting Krenyoska fall into the Darkling’s hands would be a grave mistake on our part. Securing the supplies needed for a mission to Krenyoska is not as involved as you seem to think, lieutenant, it would take barely half a week.” His blonde hair bounced as he nodded his head in agreement with his own assertion. Others in the room followed suit. The Prince opened his mouth to continue and his gaze suddenly flicked to meet your’s.

You felt your spine straighten, almost like you’d been caught redhanded at something you shouldn’t be doing. All the room felt dark, the only light present poured from Nikolai and his golden eyes that held yours in a battle of chicken. It was mere seconds, but the unexpected eye contact left you strangely shaken. Then he continued with his point and the moment ended. It was so brief, so inconsequential, but your heart had picked up speed. You hoped none of the corporalki in the room were paying attention to you. You fixed your attention onto your notes, determined to shake the strange feeling that had come over you. However, your eyes quickly found his figure again. Like a magnet, they were pulled to the young Prince no matter how hard you tried to divert them elsewhere.

There was something inexplicably enchanting about Nikolai Lantsov. You swore he sparkled in the poor lighting, exuding confidence and suave.

Throughout the rest of the meeting, you and Nikolai shared wary glances at one another. Your eyes danced around each other, daring the other to look away first. The damnable Prince kept up a smirk that had you questioning whether to throw a fist or a wink. You opted for neither, only keeping up the eye contact and taking notes on the important decisions made in the meeting.

Finally, you spoke up when some of the others at the table had gotten rowdy trying to determine order of operations. “We should send two platoons to our base near Lukinshya. While they’re on the move, the soldiers at the base can prepare for a campaign through the town and one of the neighboring cities, civilly collecting the supplies we’d need for Krenyoska. Once that operation is fulfilled, and the platoons from the Spinning Wheel have returned, the preparation for Krenyoska should be nearly done. Then we can quickly mobilize to take the target city.” You fought back the nerves of presenting your idea to the council. There was something weirdly vulnerable about offering a plan to your colleagues. You maintained control of your expression, hoping to demonstrate a confidence you may not necessarily feel but know you have earned.

Thankfully, Zoya spoke up first in support. “Indeed, if we go with that plan, the two operations could follow each other in quick succession which would give the Darkling less time to bring up any counter offensives.” You suppressed a proud smile at Zoya’s words. She met your gaze and gave the smallest of approving nods, and you returned one likewise.

“Agreed. I do believe that’s the most cohesive plan that’s developed this whole meeting. Commanders, get platoons 33 and 51 ready for departure as soon as possible and send word to the base in Lukinshya. Part A should be carried out no later than two week’s time. We’ll adjourn for the night, thank you for your time everybody.” Nikolai’s voice rang out strongly, wrapping everything up neatly in a bow. The room nodded their heads and uttered pleasantries as they collected their things and filed out of the door.

Your eyes snapped to the commanding figure across from you, not expecting him to already be watching you and drinking up your reaction. There was something in his eyes that seemed to say, ‘Have we met?’. There was a curiosity shining in his eyes, but you revealed nothing, not quite sure how to answer him anyways. Instead, you gave him a half smile, bowed, and left the room.

Nikolai Lantsov’s eyes followed you as you slipped out of the room. It took him a moment to realize he’d been holding his breath. The first time you’d met his gaze in the meeting he felt his heart stutter. There was something so gravitating about you. In the gloom of the war room and its subsequent discussions, your presence washed the loneliness away and replaced it with warmth. He’d tried to let it go, blaming this odd perception on the poor lighting and glum mood. But everytime your eyes locked, Nikolai felt himself gaining more and more consciousness.

Then you spoke. And Nikolai had never known a sound so pleasant. And as he absorbed your words, so smooth and well-thought out, your allure grew tenfold. He’d wanted you to stay in the room. He wanted to say something to you but he couldn’t find any words. You were simply enchanting, in the most confusing of ways. You were so familiar yet so distant at the same time and it was sending the poor Prince into a fit of dizziness.

The next time you saw each other was in passing in the upper halls of the Spinning Wheel.

Nikolai was making quick strides to get to an office of one of the First Army commanders when he caught sight of you. You were strolling past a window, reading a file regarding the effectiveness of last month’s training regiment. The sunlight streaming through the glass blanketed your figure in magical light and the young Prince was transported back to the palace, many years prior.

He saw you in your kefta, rushing through the gilded halls, slipping between guards and servants to wherever you had to be in such haste. This wasn’t the first time he’d seen you before. Only fleetingly, but he had seen you a handful of times making your way between the Grand and Little Palaces. You never failed to look radiant in your kefta. That was the conclusion Nikolai Lanstov had drawn all those years ago, and it was the conclusion he drew now.

You felt someone watching you intently and turned around to find the perpetrator to be none other than the man that had been haunting your dreams for weeks now. A flash of surprise rippled across your face as you caught the young Lantsov watching you. You tilted your head in confusion but didn’t do anything to suggest he’d put you off.

Nikolai took a deep breath and stalked over to where you’d stopped across the hall. The blonde Prince came to a halt in front of you, much closer than required for a conversation between acquaintances, you noted.

“Congratulations, by the way.” Nikolai started with satisfaction.

“I beg your pardon, ‘congratulations’ for what, Your Highness?” Your brows knitted in confusion.

“The success of your plan. I’m pretty sure Colonel Vrontresky turned as red as those tomatoes he loves to eat when he heard of the triumphant outcome.” Nikolai explained easily, as if it were obvious why he would be congratulating you.

You shrugged, brushing off his remark but appreciating his sentiment internally. “If you’re going to congratulate anyone, it should be the soldiers who took part, but I appreciate your compliments. And for the record, I believe Colonel Vrontresky’s red-faced complexion is more thanks to his undying devotion to kvas.” You returned coolly. You watched closely from the corner of your eyes Nikolai’s reaction to your last statement. You were satisfied when his pink lips pulled slowly into a mischievous grin, hazel eyes flashing with pleasant surprise.

“I’d say be careful with such a statement, should Vrontresky hear you, but I doubt his ears reach all the way from the bar,” You coughed to cover up a snort and the Prince continued proudly, “You’ll be attending the next war-council meeting, right?’

You nodded, and turned to resume your walk with the Prince keeping pace. “Unfortunately for all present, I will.” You joked and Nikolai chuckled but shook his head in disagreement.

“I doubt Zoya or David would agree with such a statement,” or me, he wanted to add, “but surely you’ll make a show of putting a few people in their place.”

“Do you hold some grudges against your commanding officers, moi tsarevich?” You teased coly, glancing up at the Price to find all his attention on you.

“It would not be very kingly of me to admit to such immature temperaments, but I will say that, should you decide to, I would take great delight in seeing a few men stuttering in submission.” Nikolai’s words were filled with mischief and you smirked at the picture he painted.

“Well then, I guess I must shoulder this burden, as it is my duty to serve the throne.” You responded with fake solemnity. “I only hope I live through their wrath.”

“Let me assure you, should you perish on this noble quest, I will throw the grandest funeral Ravka has ever seen. A true war hero, celebrated as deserved.” Nikolai responded with equally serious assurance, but his smiling eyes gave away the rascally theme of your conversation.

The two of you continued bouncing playful banter off of each other for the entire walk to the office you’d been originally making your way to. The conversation was surprisingly easy. You’d never warmed up to a person as quickly as you did with the Golden Prince of Ravka. You wanted to blame that on his characteristic charm and appeal.

The air between the two of you was alight with magic. There was so much electricity between the two of you, you were surprised your hair wasn’t growing staticy.

When the two of you reached the doors of your destination, the atmosphere suddenly grew heavy. The banter died out and for the first time there was silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was still an unfortunate reminder that your moment together must come to an end. You straightened in front of the Prince and searched for the proper thing to say but came up with nothing. Damn him and his distractingly enticing face, which you swore was crafted by the most skilled artist. You were struck with the realization that being with the Prince was a disarmingly pleasant experience, and you suddenly hoped he knew that.

Nikolai cleared his throat and you just barely missed how he momentarily bounced on the balls of his feet. “Well, I must say, it has been enchanting to meet you. I’ll be looking forward to seeing you soon.” Nikolai smirked triumphantly and pressed your hand gently before turning and leaving you at the door. You didn’t know this, but his own destination had been in the opposite direction.

You felt your face warm and butterflies erupt in your stomach, tickling your heart. You spent that night rolling over his final words, your smile widening with each remembrance. You were certain all the world sparkled when he was around. And Nikolai was equally sure that he’d never met someone as dazzling as you.

[rubysunnday]

a soft place to fall

summary: the softest place to fall would always be into Nikolai's arms (or three times Y/N fell and Nikolai caught her)

a/n: it's been a minute

"Well, that's not foreboding," Nikolai said, leaning on the side of the Volkvolny.

The island loomed before them, the tops of the mountains covered in cloud. The sky darkened as they approached, the sun disappearing completely.

"It could be anywhere in there," Tolya muttered, stretching out, trying to get a better look.

"It's there," Mal said a beat later, pointing to a small, almost invisible, opening in the bottom of the island.

Y/N huffed out a laugh, quickly trying to cover it as a cough when Tolya turned to her with an offended look.

"We're going a shore!" Nikolai yelled, slapping the side of the boat once.

Ten minutes later, Y/N found herself knee deep in cold water, her heart thrumming away in her chest. She was terrified. The Sea Whip might not even be real, but the tension and anxiety was so thick amongst their little group, that every little sound set them all off.

She knew, deep down, that she would be able to handle whatever happened. But it didn't help her nerves.

"You alright?" Nikolai asked softly, the sleeve of his jacket brushing against Y/N's arm.

"Ahuh," Y/N nodded, "just... nerves."

Nikolai nodded and gave her a quick, blinding smile. "We've got you, don't worry."

He reached down and squeezed her hand briefly. Y/N inhaled sharply, trying to ignore the butterflies soaring inside her at the slightest touch from Nikolai.

A pebble fell down from the roof and as Y/N tilted her head up, she caught a glimpse of yellow, slitted eyes and dark green scales. The Sea Whip lurched forward, snatching one of their crew mates up in its jaws and yanking it up and through a hole in the roof of the cave.

Y/N fell back, catching herself on the rocks. The rest of the group turned and began firing the pistols and rifles up at the ceiling.

"Stop!" Alina cried. "Don't hurt it."

The gunfire stopped but no one lowered their weapons, keeping them trained on the roof of the cave. Y/N's heart was pounding in her chest, her hands shaking as she held her revolver tightly.

"Where's it gone?" Nikolai asked, his eyes searching the roof frantically.

Y/N felt something vibrate against the ground and the water sloshed against the back of her legs. She turned and, as she did so, the man who had been standing behind her was yanked backwards and under the water.

"It's here!" She yelled, stepping backwards as quickly as she could in the water without tripping over.

Alina brushed past her, standing where the Sea Whip had just been, her hand hovering over the water. The silence was deafening. For a moment, no one moved. No one spoke.

The Sea Whip suddenly dived down from the ceiling again. Mal lurched forward and pushed Alina aside. Y/N was frozen to the spot, the scales of the Sea Whip glinting in the dim light as the whipped towards her.

A hand yanked her to the side and she lost her footing, falling into the water. Y/N scrambled to her feet, shooting Tamar a grateful look for pulling her out the way.

"It's playing with us," Nikolai said, standing up as quickly as he could and pulling Y/N to her feet as well. "Conserve your ammo!"

The Sea Whip launched out of the water again.

Y/N saw the tail coming towards her. She threw herself to the side, falling into the water and disappearing under it, the Sea Whip's tail smashing into the water above her head. Her vision became obscured by dozens of bubbles, the water clouding over.

Y/N couldn't find the way up, she couldn't see, she couldn't breathe. The Sea Whip was still swimming about, it's body bumping against Y/N's.

Hands came under her arms and yanked her to the surface. Y/N gasped loudly, gulping the air down gratefully. She knew it was Nikolai. Nothing could disguise the scent of his cologne - the feeling of his hands against hers, the way he squeezed her arms once, trying to reassure her.

Y/N gripped the sleeve of his jacket tightly as she coughed, her throat burning. As the Sea Whip shot up from the water again, it launched at Mal. He blocked the attack with his rifle, wedging it in its jaws. Alina then shot out a blast of light, killing the Sea Whip instantly.

It flopped into the water and then slowly floated to the top, smoke wafting up from where Alina had hit it.

Y/N stared at it, still half submerged in the water, Nikolai's arms wrapped around her tightly. She swallowed and then abruptly started coughing again.

"Hey," Nikolai said, looking down at her. "Are you ok?"

Y/N swallowed, panting slightly. She nodded. "Fine."

"Tolya," Nikolai called.

"I'm fine -"

"I just want to check," Nikolai placated, squeezing her hand. "Before I make you drag this thing back to the boat."

Y/N rolled her eyes at him, but her smile gave away her amusement. "Funny, Nik."

"It's so choppy!"

"Way to state the obvious."

Nikolai gave Y/N a glare - one that was entirely ignored as she grinned back at him.

She was gripping on tightly to one of the main ropes hanging down from the main mast. Waves kept smashing up against the side of the boat, water sloshing over the edges. It was nearly impossible to remain upright and everyone was wet.

Yet Y/N was beaming, enjoying every single second. Nikolai, gripping onto the steering wheel tightly, watched her as she all but crawled further up the boat, going to help one of the crew tie off a rope.

He sometimes wished he could have an ounce of Y/N's joy. It might make life easier.

"Brace!"

Nikolai gripped the steering wheel even tighter, ducking down behind it slightly, as another wave smashed into the front of the ship. The front of the ship tipped up, struggling to ride the wave.

The ship slammed down abruptly, water splashing up from the bow of the ship. Nikolai pushed himself up on the wheel, surveying the damage with a hesitant gaze.

Everything looked to be in tact... ish.

"That was fun," Y/N said, carefully walking over to him, her stance wide to counter the constant bouncing of the ship.

A particularly hard wave smashed into the ship, knocking it to the side. Y/N let out what had to be an involuntary shriek, for Nikolai had never heard her make a noise like that before, and fell forward.

Nikolai opened his arms, braced himself, and caught Y/N. Her body slammed into his and he grunted, taking a step back to brace himself.

"Sorry," Y/N winced, putting her hands on his chest as she pushed herself back onto her feet.

Nikolai smiled crookedly, trying not to look down at her hands, feeling their warmth through his soaking wet jacket and shirt. "Don't be."

"Everyone alive?" Nikolai called, pushing himself up onto his haunches, eyes frantically scanning the occupants of the ship.

Numerous grunts gave Nikolai his answer. He winced as he put his weight on his injured leg, blood staining his trousers. Dominik rushed to his side, taking his arm and putting it on his shoulders.

"You need to sit down," Dominik said, taking almost all of Nikolai's weight.

"No, we need to get off this boat," Nikolai panted. He was looking around the destroyed ship, at the bodies, the burnt metal, the chunks of tree littering the deck. "They're coming for us."

Dominik helped Nikolai climb down from the boat, navigating the broken trees and the dead bodies in their path.

"Wait," Nikolai said, halting abruptly, pushing away from Dominik. "Y/N, where's Y/N?"

"Here," Y/N called weakly, wobbling as she stumbled on a loose log. She took another unsure step and her foot slipped, rolling on a stone.

Y/N lurched forward. She mentally braced herself to land in the grass but a pair of arms caught her, holding her tightly to them.

Her eyes flew open and she stared up at Nikolai. They looked a wrecked, both covered in blood, grime and sweat. Yet he'd never looked so beautiful to her. Because he was still here, alive, and holding her.

"You okay?" He asked quietly, the tips of his fingers pressing against her back. He wobbled and Dominik silently put a hand against his back, steadying him.

Y/N nodded, her hand resting on his wrist, her thumb rubbing against his skin gently. "Yeah."

"Nik, we need to go," Dominik urged gently.

Nikolai suddenly snapped back into life, the young soldier and privateer taking over. "Nadia, Adrik, head for the trees and up that hill!" He yelled. "Come on!"

Wordlessly, Y/N put a hand on Nikolai's waist. He instinctively put his arm around her shoulders and, together (with some help from Dominik) the awkwardly limped as fast as they could up the hill and into the trees, leaving the wrecked ship smoking behind them.

[futurecorps3]

Hiii, could you write a nikokai fic where reader is like in love with kaz but he doesn't really pay attention to her. And then the crows meet sturmhond because of a heist and he takes interest in the reader form the first moment he sae her and makes her fall in love with him. And then whatever you want lol. Maybe kaz being jealous idk.

Sorry for any grammatical mistake, english it's not my first language.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞

Masterlist<3

Summary: After years of being in love with the one and only Kaz Brekker, breaking her own heart, Y/N meets someone else... Pairing: Sturmhond x fem!inferni!reader, Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

Warnings: The usual crow violence, DRINKING, jealous Kaz, mean Kaz, "unrequited" love for a little while, Matthias is alive and well like in the books duh but this is ofc before Nikolai becomes king, idc I just want my Fjerdan hunk happy in Ketterdam, curse words, kind of a messy timeline. HURT AND NO COMFORT. Lmk if I missed any.

Word Count: 2.9K!! Requested: Yes

A/N: IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! :( I've been looking forward to getting to this specific request because oh my god, also, I changed it up a little; making Kaz actually be in love with reader but never really trying anything. Tysm for requesting love! Hope you enjoy :)

˚ · • . °

Exhaustion. That's what she felt, and to be honest, it was even more frustrating when Y/N knew she was doing it to herself. Those persistent yet futile attempts at reading Kaz's silence or gaze as something else; a love message, a confession of his sins, any sign of vulnerability reserved for her. However, these attempts, though fervent, ultimately proved fruitless.

How could she confirm what she thought she saw if, after, say, he appeared distressed at her being in danger or fumed when some dick was being extra disgusting at the bar that night; he went back to being his usual cold self?

When she finally obtained concrete evidence that disproved her misconceptions ("Jesper, she prefers black coffee" or "Y/N, could you join me in my office for a moment?" simply to spend time together in quietude), he strategically distanced himself throughout the week, transforming those precious moments of tranquility and companionship into ordinary occurrences, leading her to, somehow, misunderstand them.

Another shot of vodka and the pain her thoughts evoked was replaced by the burning, bitter sensation in her tongue and throat. "A hangover won't make Kaz let you stay behind tomorrow, you know that?" Matthias smiled next to her.

Since he joined the crows, the Fjerdan had taken a special liking to his girlfriend's best friend; she was funny, kind hearted and could keep up his pace in drinking games. Nina couldn't be happier to see her loves get along so well, saying it's her dream come true. "Oh don't even start, Matthias" Y/N answered, feigning annoyance as she poured more of the burning liquid into her glass and pulled out another for her friend.

They silently toasted to nothing in particular and chatted about their books as they usually did. Matthias' romance novel had an interesting love triangle Y/N was eager to read when he was finished. From how he talked about it, the girl knew it was just her type of story. They were in the middle of a playful argument about a plot-hole Y/N thought she found when Kaz approached them.

His usual demeanor seemed a bit... shaken. If you asked the blonde, he'd say he only looked more agitated, but Y/N/N knew better; his hair was covering his forehead slightly, but he wasn't brushing it back. The limp was prominent still, yet he wasn't using his cane. Kaz was in a rush to get to her, maybe?.

"One of your fellow countrymen is starting a turmoil outside, doesn't speak Kerch. Will you please, for the tree's sake, go and talk some sense into his thick blonde skull?" Saints, why did she like him so much? Even like that, Y/N thought he looked rather divine. Matthias stood up from his seat and directed himself to the entrance.

"Since when do you care for what happens outside that door?" She asked with a grin, genuinely curious. "I wouldn't if he wasn't scaring off the pigeons. No wealthy tourist will endure the trouble that some drunk Fjerdan means just to get inside a place full of people that'll take his money" the boy explained, looking down at her.

Kaz's complexion, kissed by the soft glow of the candles, is pale yet flawless, as if untouched by the harshness of the world he inhabits. His sharp, well-defined features give him an air of enigmatic sophistication, further heightened by the way the light dances upon his cheekbones, emphasizing their elegant structure.

Y/N realizes she's staring. She looks away.

The bastard smirks. "Finding something intriguing, are we?" And oh, she wanted to stab him to see if that would wipe the stupid grin he carried. "Oh, please, Kaz. You give yourself too much credit. I was merely lost in thought, contemplating the mysteries of the world. Your face happened to be in the line of sight, that's all."

Quick, sarcastic answer, as if the seconds between her silence confirmed even further what he was saying. He scoffed, drinking the remains of alcohol on Matthias' glass and fixed his hair in the process. "Stop drinking, a hangover won't spare you from our meeting tomorrow".

˚ · • . °

She should've listened. The crashing waves outside only intensified the discomfort, while the salty breeze seemed to carry a tinge of regret. Even the beauty of the sea she was now too used to felt distant and inaccessible, overshadowed by the haze of her post-indulgence remorse.

Nina, taunting Matthias with a mature Ravkan song and Jesper shooting bottles in the warehouse, created an uneasy atmosphere for hungover Y/N. This unsettling environment made it difficult for her to focus on evaluating any potential deals they were to discuss with the privateer Kaz said they were meeting that day. Also, they had been waiting for over an fifteen minutes now! She was surprised Kaz was waiting still.

He checked his pocket watch subtly, sighing at the tardiness of their Ravkan guests. Then, he looked over at Y/N. Even with those deep baggy eyes and with her head on her hands in exasperation, she managed to awaken that odd feeling in his chest. He hated it. No, he despised it.

If he ever accepted that he was down hard for the girl, he could also get over the fact that she, too, liked him. Well, he wasn't dumb! There was no denying that Y/N's actions warmed his heart. He just knew loving was a dangerous thing to do, a weakness he couldn't afford after spending years building a reputation in Ketterdam.

Then came a loud bang on the heave wooden doors of the warehouse. "Fucking finally" Y/N sighed, going to open the door herself before anyone would, wanting nothing but to end this as soon as possible so she could go back home to sleep. She grabbed the handle and pulled, the bright light outside blinding her momentarily before seeing the privateer and his crew.

"Hello gorgeous! Here to see Mr. Brekker. I'm guessing you're one of his associates?" A sharp, slightly deep voice greeted. The girl shielded her eyes from the light and found captain smily offering his hand out. In Ketterdam, rumours ran as quick as blood on pavement; Sturmhond knew that. He needed no introduction. Every person involved in not so legal activities who didn't live under a rock had heard at least once about the dog of the sea.

She took it, shaking gently. "Y/N Y/L/N, but if you prefer nicknames, call me Haepha". Then she stepped aside, pretending not to notice the smirk on Sturmhond's face so his partners could come in. The rumors hadn't done justice to his captivating presence.

The charismatic privateer stood tall, his dark hair falling in unruly waves that added to his allure. His piercing blue eyes seemed to hold a world of secrets, and a mischievous smile played across his lips. Dressed in opulent garments that exuded confidence and flair, Sturmhond commanded attention with every step as his crew and he approached the rest of the crows.

"I'll stick to your name for now doll, too pretty not to use," And the bastard winked at Y/N, making a Shu girl who was walking behind him with the same confidence giggle. The worst thing about pretty men is they know they're pretty, and knew damn well how to get away with being cocky. She knew his type, so she brushed the wink off and walked towards her friends.

Kaz and Sturmhond shook hands. Everyone who was fast enough grabbed a seat in old boxes or even on the floor. Jesper offered Y/N his seat, knowing that the vodka she drank last night was no merciful rival, and stood behind her alongside his boyfriend. Inej lingered sitting in a window near them as Matthias and Nina remained standing, contrary to all the privateers' team.

Kaz started making introductions, all a mere formality, Y/N knew. "You've met Y/N, our inferni. Behind him are Jesper, sharp-shooter, and Wylan, our demo-man. The blonde wall-resembling man over there is Matthias, and Nina is a heartrender. Inej in the window, our Wraith" he pointed, everyone nodding or waving at the dark-haired man.

"A Wraith alright, didn't notice you were there sweetheart!" He pointed out and then introduced the twins; Tolya and Tamar. As well as Anya and Andrei, who were two members of his ship's company who wanted to come by and see who they were working with. When that was taken care of, plans were strategized by both leaders and positions were given to each member.

Y/N knew Kaz was characterized by having plans from A to Z for very elaborate heists, but even this one seemed out of his reach, almost too ambitious. But if Sturmhond's name lived up to the myth, nothing was quite impossible for him and Kaz's love for money could get him to plot even the tiniest detail.

Their objective this time was to steal some kind of jewel called "the moon's tears". It was a gem said to be worth four million kruge, to be bargained for even more; the crows' biggest heist yet. The vault it was in was widely known for its impenetrable security measures, including seemingly impenetrable barriers, intricate lock mechanisms, and a team of highly skilled guards.

Those two were absolutely insane! Even before one considered the noble who owned the vault and therefore the gem they were trying to steal, knew Kaz from the past. It was an extremely peculiar coincidence that a masquerade ball was taking place some distance away from the location of the vault, which represented the perfect opportunity for the work.

This would allow them to exploit the lack of security and sweep the gem away. Nina would ideally take care of the distraction, to keep the nobleman from returning home too quick, but her heartrending abilities would be helpful to make a quick work to make the few officers guarding the vault doze off.

So it became Y/N's job. A job she was to complete with Sturmhond.

After the meeting ended and Y/N's headache had worsened, a deep voice was heard from behind her. She turned to find the charming privateer flashing a smile at her. "Looking forward to working with you, darling" He commented, offering his hand out and all. She took it and shook half-heartedly, eager to just go home and sleep for the rest of the evening.

"Me too, handsome" Irony laced in her tone. "Doesn't seem like it, you alright? You look like a ghost. Lovely, yes, but still ghostly" The comment made her smile, tightening the grasp on his hand but not shaking anymore "Just hungover s'all" "Told you so!" Jesper proclaimed from their side as everyone directed themselves to the door.

The privateer smiled sweetly. "Got any plans this evening?" "Other than rotting in my room until my body stops hurting? Not really. Why?" Y/N looked down briefly, realizing she still hadn't let go of his hand and then released her grasp "Well, if my days at sea have thought me anything other than how to read the stars..." he started, tapping the necklace with a star charm the girl sported.

A "gift" from Kaz (some jewelry that wasn't redeemed from a heist he let her keep). "...is how to cure a hangover. Mind coming with me to a bar? You can decide which". Going to a bar with a complete stranger who had a reputation of being in trouble most of the time and who she were to work with? Sure thing.

"Promise youll make it go away?" "Promise".

˚ · • . °

And what a plot twist he was. Jesper had jokingly said to the girl that she shouldn't take a privateer's word but he did termiante her hangover with some strange, black-ish liquid she didn't dare to ask the composition of. Then they drank more.

As the drinks arrived, they raised their glasses, the clink of crystal breaking the spell of their silent connection. Sturmhond smiled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "To new adventures and unexpected encounters," he proposed, his voice smooth and velvety.

Y/N couldn't help but return the smile, feeling the warmth of excitement spread through her veins. "To embracing the unknown," she replied, raising her glass in agreement. They took a sip, the flavors dancing on their tongues. A comfortable silence settled between them, allowing the sounds of the bar to envelop them. After a moment, Sturmhond leaned in, his voice low and captivating.

"So, Y/N, what brings you to this lawless corner of the world?". He asked, genuine curiosity lacing his words. Y/N's eyes sparkled as she recounted her journey, the challenges she faced, and the dreams that fueled her determination. Sturmhond listened intently, his attention unwavering, as if she held the secrets of a hidden treasure.

As she spoke, Y/N couldn't help but notice the genuine interest in Sturmhond's eyes. He asked thoughtful questions and shared stories of his own adventures, effortlessly weaving tales of daring escapades that left Y/N hanging on his every word.

The conversation flowed effortlessly, a seamless exchange of ideas, dreams, and aspirations. Time seemed to melt away as they delved into deeper discussions, finding solace in the connection they were building. Laughter intertwined with their words, a symphony of shared amusement and understanding.

They became lost in each other's company, entranced by the way their thoughts aligned and their hearts danced to the same rhythm. And as the night wore on, their conversation continued, their new found connection growing stronger with every passing moment.

She couldn't help but think of Kaz, when exiting the bar, and on the way back to The Slat. When would he ever, in a million years, make her feel so seen? How could he? He seemed to be nothing but cold and a bad type of confusing to the girl.

Y/N was not blind, either. Sturmhond was known for his endless romantic encounters with women across the sea, and he was interested in her. Now, she could not deny the guy was a charming boy too pretty for this Earth, sharp as a knife and, as she found out that evening, shared a lot of ideals and interests with her.

Could he maybe work as a rebound? Maybe. Would she shamelessly use him as that? Could be. Having his eyes on her that whole meeting was no coincidence, and she liked his attention. Maybe what mends a broken heart was a handsome privateer.

They agreed to meet up the next day, his treat.

˚ · • . °

Back at the Slat, Kaz was fuming. No, not fuming; seething. A bar outing? She just met him! He could not believe his eyes when they were talking hand in hand like they had known each other from a previous lifetime.

In the little time that had passed since (most of) the crows had returned from the meeting, Kaz had already gotten four drunks kicked out, death-stared a group of dregs twice so they'd shorten their break time to get them to work and downed four vodka shots.

Why was he this mad? She wasn't even his and as far as she knew; he had no intentions of being hers either. The boy couldn't be mad at her, but he was, and Kaz knew very well he was being a big selfish shit. He could not blame Y/N either; the bastard she had been crushing on gives no signs of interest but a privateer handsome as the devil shows up with his attention completely focused on her? Of course she'd fall.

He just hated that feeling.

It's presence looms, heavy and suffocating, wrapping its tendrils around the heart, constricting with an iron grip. It whispers sweet poison into the mind, distorting reality and fueling irrational fears. Like a tempestuous storm, it rages within, lightning crackling with envy, thunder rumbling with resentment. It paints the world in hues of green, tarnishing every joyous moment with a bitter aftertaste.

And then his heart sunk into the depths of his dark soul when he saw them walk in hand in hand. That was the first time Y/N had walked into a room and not looked for him, he noticed. She was laughing at something Sturmhond had said as they walked up the stairs until they reached the door of Y/N's room. He kissed her hand and she kissed his cheek.

The privateer then walked down the stairs, noticing Kaz staring.

"She's one of a kind, that one... Might stay a bit more after the job's done. See you tomorrow, Brekker"

The feeling was now leaving an empty, bottomless void in his soul. He bottomed his shot glass then poured another one.

˚ · • . °

Time kept ticking and the void intensified, but Kaz learnt how to deal with it.

He learnt how to deal with it when he kissed her after the job was done.

He learnt how to deal with it when Y/N took a break from the crows to leave with him for six months.

He learnt how to deal with it when she returned from her trip, beautiful tan skin and a diamond on her finger.

He learnt how to deal with it when he saw her crying herself to sleep because she missed him.

He learnt how to deal with it when she left for good.

He learnt how to deal with it when she was named queen of Ravka.

Kaz just learnt how to live with the shame and regret of not recognizing that the one thing he needed was right in front of him, hoping she'd have a place next to him.

˚ · • . ° .

Hi! Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed:) I'm actually sorry for this one...

Remember, the best way to support writer’s works on here is by REBLOGGING WITH TAGS. I’d very much appreciate it if you did!

Thanks again, stranger. Hope you have a nice day<3

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO REPOST AS THEIR OWN/TRANSLATE/OR COPY MY WORK IN ANY PLATFORM OR SPACE WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT CONSENT.

[criminalamnesia]

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

summary: Nikolai confronts you about unspoken feelings.

warnings: fluff, no use of y/n, not proofread, no gendered pronouns used (that I know of), grisha!heartrender!reader

author’s note: dancing with our hands tied by taylor swift inspired this! also listen I love zoya and nikolai but nikolai is just sooooooo ksjfjsjs I wanted to write a reader insert for him.

—

What you had with your captain was something no one understood– not even the two of you.

Sturmhond– or Nikolai, as you knew him in secret– was your friend. Your captain. But he was also something more.

He was a rogue ship, and you were a lighthouse guiding him home. He was a dangerous sea, threatening to drown you if you tested your luck– and oh, how you were so close to seeing what would happen if you did.

You shouldn’t even know his true identity. But, as fate would have it, he needed a heartrender with a specific set of skills that you just happened to have, and you needed an escape.

You were his tailor– disguising his appearance and turning him into the infamous Sturmhond. That was the only reason you were allowed to see him without his mask– you were the one to put it back together.

“You’re not surprised?” He had asked you the first night your services had been requested.

The ginger hair of Sturmhond had faded. The crooked nose had straightened, but the same smug grin was still present.

“No,” you had said. “I know that heartbeat. I knew it was you a mile from your ship.”

That took him aback. How did you know his heartbeat?

You had laughed, your eyes twinkling with something he found mesmerizing. He didn’t know you– he was sure of it. He wouldn’t forget a face like yours.

One of your hands was on his shoulder, holding him still. The other roamed his face, fingers dancing across his skin as you worked.

“You’re staring,” you stated, your fingers moving to his messy blond hair. “Trying to figure out how I know you?”

“Yes,” he admitted, eyes watching your face intently. “Were you at the Little Palace?”

You nodded. “I was.” The blond of his hair started to turn red. “But I spent most of my time in the Grand Palace.” You paused, your hand leaving his shoulder to move to his chin, tilting his head to the side. You could hear his heart beat a tad bit faster.

“The Darkling gave me to your mother, as he did with Genya. I was her apprentice. She taught me how to tailor.” You told him.

“I didn’t suffer the same fate she did, if that’s what you’re wondering. Your father had eyes for her, not me.” You couldn’t help the bitterness in your voice. Nikolai flinched.

“You were rarely home– but I met you once, when we were both still small. That’s why I know your heartbeat. The only one of the Royal Family to have a good heart– not a sour one. It stuck with me, I guess you could say.”

“I don’t remember you,” he admitted, and you gave a small laugh. His blond hair was almost completely red now.

“I wouldn’t expect you to. You’re not the only one being tailored, Captain. The First Army can’t take me back if they don’t recognize me, now can they?”

“Are you listening?”

Nikolai’s voice broke you from your thoughts. He was sitting on the bed in his quarters on the ship. You stood between his knees, your hands on his face as you changed him back into Sturmhond.

“Mhm,” you hummed. You weren’t. This routine was something you could do in your sleep, and truthfully, you found your mind drifting off more and more whenever Nikolai required your assistance. It’s not that you found his company dull– quite the opposite, actually. But you didn’t want him to know that.

“No you weren’t,” he gave a small chuckle, one of his hands moving up to grab one of yours. He pulled it from his face as he intertwined your fingers.

“Nikolai,” you hissed, pulling your hand from his grasp. “Do you want me to mess up? I was in the middle of reforming your nose.”

He sighed, his hand falling back to his lap as you raised yours once more. You avoided his eyes, knowing you wouldn’t like what you saw in them.

Between the two of you, he was the more open with his feelings. For the past few weeks, he had continuously tried to corner you and get you to talk about whatever the two of you were. To try and figure things out. You had successfully avoided him thus far, but you knew you were dancing on thin ice.

It was only a matter of time before he recruited one of the twins to subdue you while he forced you to listen. You wouldn’t put it past him, and you knew for a fact Tolya would help him. Curse that hopeless romantic.

“You’re insufferable. And exhausting,” he told you as you grasped his chin gently between your fingers, turning his face this way and that to examine your handiwork.

“I know. You tell me quite often,” you remarked, nodding to yourself as you moved to focus your sights on his hair.

He sighed. Silence engulfed the two of you. It was almost smothering, full of unsaid words and the tension between the two of you. You were suddenly aware of how close you were to him– his knees caging you in as you stood between his spread legs. His face in your hands, his hands now on your waist.

“We keep dancing around this,” he said. You didn’t reply, choosing to focus more intently on the roots of his hair. “The whole crew thinks we’re sleeping together.”

That caught you off guard. You gave a snort, rolling your eyes. “Of course they do. You call me to your quarters in the night, every week. You always stare at me, especially when you think I’m not looking. And you’re handsy– you’ve always got a hand on my back or my shoulder or something.”

Nikolai chuckled. “Well, you’re one to talk. Every time you laugh at something I’ve said, you grab onto my arm and go ‘oh Sturmhond!’. And don’t act like you don’t stare, too.”

“I do not say ‘oh Sturmhond’,” you said, looking down at him. He grinned that same crooked smile.

“I know you’re thinking it. Probably thinking some other things, too. Like how you’d like to–”

“Shut up, or I’m going to give you a black eye.” You hissed, pulling his hair harder than you should’ve.

He laughed. “You wouldn’t. You like my face too much.”

“Im sick of it, actually,” you remarked. “I see it everyday.”

“If that were true, you wouldn’t be here.” He replied.

“You say that as if you’d let me leave. I’m the only tailor you’ve got.”

He shook his head. “That’s not the reason I wouldn’t let you leave, and we both know it.”

You dropped your hands as the last of his blond turned red. Your job here was done. There was nothing stopping you from bidding him goodnight and excusing yourself to your own cot. You knew he would drop it and let you go without another word, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. You didn’t want to say anything.

“So now you’re keeping me prisoner?” You said, suddenly all too aware of his hands squeezing your waist.

“Maybe I am. At least until you admit you like me,” he said, and you scoffed.

“If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be here–” you began, but he cut you off.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

He moved to stand. You tried to step back, but his hands on you kept you rooted to the spot. You looked up at him, heat rising to your cheeks. Your chests were touching now, and there were only inches between your lips and his.

“When are we going to stop playing this game?” He whispered, one of his hands moving from your waist to brush a strand of hair from your face.

“You like it too much to stop.” You retorted.

“I’d like honesty more,” he said, and you shook your head. “As much fun as playing cat and mouse is with you, I’m growing tired of chasing. And we both know you’re tired of running.”

His hands were on your hips as he swung you around the deck, a laugh on his lips as you clung to his shoulders. You couldn’t help but smile as he dipped you, your eyes meeting his. There were unspoken promises in his gaze– too many feelings, and you had to look away.

Others danced around you two as a few of the crew played some song you’d never heard on makeshift instruments. Laughter and conversation made it hard to think straight. Spirits were high– you’d all just succeeded in breaking through a Fjerdan blockade– and that called for a celebration.

“They’re all going to think we’re together,” you had told Nikolai as he grabbed your hand and pulled you to the dance floor. He had laughed, leaning in close to whisper “let them” in your ear.

He had kissed you for the first time that night, after the party had subsided and everyone was asleep but the two of you. You had been talking quietly, watching the stars and listening to the waves, and he had kissed you and you had melted.

“Nikolai..” you sighed, your hands moving to rest on his shoulders. “This isn’t a good idea.”

“I don’t care,” he told you, and his heartbeat was as steady as it had ever been.

“I do,” you told him, meeting his gaze. “You can’t play pirate forever. What happens when you go back to Ravka, back to your family? You can’t marry me. I’m nobody– not a princess, not a diplomat. I’m an escaped servant who knows too much and would be imprisoned or executed for escaping.”

“Privateer,” he corrected, and you rolled your eyes. “And I’m the second son– a bastard second son. I’m already a disgrace in their eyes,” one of his hands moved to the small of your back, his thumb rubbing circles into the fabric of your shirt. “I can’t disappoint them any more than I have.”

“It doesn’t matter what they think of you now, they still won’t let me anywhere near you.” You replied, and he shook his head.

“Why are we even talking about this?” He asked. “We’re not in Ravka. We’re in the middle of the ocean, and no one cares what we do.”

He was right. You were far from Ravka and his family and your pasts. You were someone new, and he was, too. You weren’t an escaped servant– you were Sturmhond’s first mate. You were his most trusted friend– besides the twins– and you were the one he wanted.

And you wanted him, too.

“I don’t care about details,” he said, his voice low. “I don’t care about families or consequences or rumors. I care about you, about that little smile you always get before you win at cards, about how you let me drag you onto the dance floor while the crew stares, and how you put up with me more than you should.”

You didn’t say anything, too stunned for words.

“I would do anything,” he began, his face slowly inching towards yours. “To dance with you again. To kiss you again. To not hide behind stolen glances and little jabs at each other.”

“Nikolai,” you murmured, your eyes flitting down to his lips.

“Yes?” He asked as your eyes found his once more.

“Just shut up.” You said, and you closed the gap between the two of you, your lips meeting his.

Maybe nothing he said would be true in the morning. Maybe he would realize this was all a big mistake, but you didn’t care.

He was right. You were tired of running, and you were so glad he was tired of chasing.

And as you kissed, that heartbeat that you’d remembered after all these years– that you’d always remember– soared.

And you knew he wasn’t lying.

[that-one-ostrich-friend]

could you write a nikolai fic with the dialogue “will you dance with me? please, pretty please!”

thanks 🤎

May I Have This Dance?

nikolai lanstov x reader - may i have this dance?

word count: 3k

summary: nikolai and y/n share a dance and then sneak away for something more…

warnings: kissing, allusions to smut, partially shirtless nikolai, manwhore nikolai <3

a/n: first request!!!

     The evening had settled over the grand hall of the palace, where the air was filled with the soft rustling of silk gowns and the clink of crystal glasses. The palace was alive with celebration, a banquet in honor of Nikolai Lantsov's triumphs. The night was extravagant, the chandeliers sparkling overhead, their light casting a warm glow over the guests below.

     Y/n stood near the edge of the dance floor, watching the couples spin in graceful rhythm. The music played in the background, the strings and horns blending together in a symphony of joy. She had attended the event with a mix of curiosity and wariness—curiosity about the man everyone spoke of so highly, and wariness because, well, Nikolai Lantsov was unlike any man she had ever met.

     She had caught glimpses of him from across the room, charming guests with his smile, his magnetic presence undeniable. He was a man of many faces—dashing prince, clever tactician, mischievous joker. But Y/n had learned that there was much more to him than the masks he wore. It was the quieter moments, the ones spent in the corners of rooms or the subtle exchanges during casual conversation, that intrigued her the most.

     As she adjusted the sleeve of her gown, her thoughts interrupted, and a soft voice pulled her from her reverie.

     "Ah, there you are. Hiding in the corner, are we?"

     Y/n turned, her heart giving an unexpected jolt. Nikolai stood there, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. His golden hair, disheveled just enough to be charming, glinted in the light as he approached her, the confidence in his stride making it impossible for her to look away.

     "I was not hiding," she replied, her tone teasing, though her pulse betrayed her calm facade. "Merely observing."

     "Observing?" He raised an eyebrow, his expression light but interested. "I hope you’re not planning on staying in this corner all evening. It’s far too beautiful a night to waste on solitude."

     Y/n chuckled, a little more nervous than she cared to admit. "And what do you suggest I do with my evening, then?"

     "Well..." His voice lowered, becoming more earnest, as he offered her a sly grin. "It seems to me you’ve been watching the dancers long enough. Perhaps it’s time you joined them."

     Y/n felt a flutter in her chest, though she couldn’t tell if it was excitement or hesitation. She had never been one for dancing, especially in such a grand setting. But Nikolai’s presence was magnetic, pulling her in like the tide.

     Nikolai tilted his head, eyes glimmering with mischief. "I’m sure you could pull off anything, Y/n. You’re already the most captivating person in the room, even without stepping onto the floor."

     Her heart skipped at the compliment, but she tried to hide it with a roll of her eyes. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Your Highness."

     Flattery?" He raised his hand dramatically, placing it over his heart as if wounded. "I assure you, it’s nothing but the truth."

     Before she could retort, he took a step closer, his voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper. "Will you dance with me? Please, pretty please?"

     The playful tone in his voice made it impossible to resist. Y/n’s resolve wavered, and for a moment, she simply stared at him, her mind a whirl of conflicting thoughts. He was, without a doubt, a force of nature. A man who could charm the birds from the trees, and yet, he wasn’t making her feel overwhelmed, but... rather intrigued.

     "I suppose I can’t refuse such a charming request," she finally said, with a smile that was half reluctant and half excited.

     Nikolai grinned, his eyes alight with triumph. "Splendid."

     He extended his hand to her, his fingers warm and inviting. Y/n hesitated for only a second before placing her hand in his. The moment their skin touched, a current of electricity seemed to pass between them, and for a fleeting moment, she felt as if the rest of the world had faded away. The noise of the ballroom, the chatter of the guests, even the music—it all seemed distant, swallowed up by the intensity of their connection.

     With a fluid motion, Nikolai led her onto the dance floor. His steps were sure, confident, as though he had done this a thousand times before, and she found herself matching his movements without thinking. She hadn’t danced in years, but with him, it felt natural, easy. He guided her with such a graceful touch, his hand on her waist steady and reassuring, while his other hand held hers with a tenderness that caught her off guard.

     The music swelled around them, and they moved together, weaving through the sea of other couples. Y/n couldn’t help but be drawn into the rhythm of the dance, her body attuned to his. There was something undeniably captivating about him—the way he made her feel like the only person in the room. His presence was magnetic, his every word laced with charm, and as they danced, she couldn’t help but wonder if it was all part of his carefully crafted persona.

     "Are you always this persuasive?" Y/n asked, her voice teasing as she caught his eye.

     Nikolai let out a low chuckle, his gaze never leaving hers. "Only when I know the reward will be worth it."

     "And what is the reward, exactly?" Y/n asked, her heart skipping a beat as they twirled.

     "Why, the pleasure of your company, of course," he replied smoothly. "Though, I must admit, it’s a pleasant surprise that you agreed to dance with me."

     Y/n raised an eyebrow. "A pleasant surprise? You didn’t think I would?"

     Nikolai’s smile widened, his eyes dancing with mischief. "Oh, I had my doubts. But now that we’re here... I’m glad I was wrong."

     The softness in his voice, the way his eyes seemed to hold her attention, sent a wave of warmth through her. She felt as if he was seeing her—really seeing her—in a way no one else had. It was unsettling, how easily he made her feel both exposed and cherished all at once.

     As they continued to dance, the conversation flowed naturally between them, their words playful, light, yet somehow filled with a quiet depth. Nikolai had an uncanny ability to make her laugh, to put her at ease even in the midst of a grand ball. He was never too forward, never too brash, but his presence was undeniable, like the calm before a storm, gentle yet ever-present.

     The music gradually wound down, and the last few couples spun to a stop, leaving the floor almost empty, save for the quiet whispers of those around them. The soft hum of conversation filled the space where the orchestra had just played, and Nikolai gently guided Y/n to a slower pace, their steps slowing in tandem with the fading melody.

     When the music came to an end, there was a brief, almost imperceptible pause, and Nikolai leaned slightly closer, his breath warm against her ear. “You dance with the grace of someone who’s far too modest, Y/n,” he murmured, his voice low and smooth, the playful tone replaced by something far more sincere. “I didn’t expect you to be such a natural.”

     Y/n’s breath caught in her throat, and she met his gaze, a smile tugging at her lips. “Perhaps I’m just full of surprises.”

     Nikolai’s eyes twinkled, his smile wide and knowing. “I do enjoy a good mystery,” he said, his fingers lightly brushing against the small of her back as he began to steer her off the dance floor. His touch was light, yet there was an undeniable sense of possessiveness to it.

     As they moved toward the edge of the ballroom, where the soft glow of chandeliers bathed the room in warm light, Y/n’s heart raced, and a thought, bold and unexpected, crossed her mind. She glanced around the room, noting the bustling groups of guests and the glint of glassware, the scent of perfume thick in the air. She lowered her voice slightly, making sure no one could overhear them.

     “Is there somewhere... a little more private we could go?” she asked, her words a delicate challenge, daring him to either accept or decline.

     Nikolai’s eyes flickered with surprise for a brief moment, and then a mischievous smile spread across his face, the glimmer in his gaze unmistakable. “Ah, I thought you’d never ask,” he whispered, his hand lingering at her waist as he leaned in closer. “There are a few quiet spots, if you’re brave enough to follow me. 

      Y/n’s pulse quickened, but she met his gaze with an unspoken challenge of her own. “Lead the way, Your Highness.”

      With a playful bow, Nikolai offered her his arm, his smile both warm and knowing. “It would be my pleasure.”

     Nikolai guided her through the bustling crowd, the chatter and laughter of the guests slowly fading as they moved deeper into the quieter parts of the palace. The grand ballroom was alive with light and sound, but the farther they got from the center of the celebration, the more the world around them seemed to blur and quiet down. The only sound now was the soft click of their shoes on the polished marble floor, the air heavy with unspoken anticipation.

     As they reached a narrow, secluded hallway, tucked away from the grand festivities, Nikolai paused. The hallway was dimly lit, with only a few candles flickering on the walls, casting long, gentle shadows that danced across the tapestries. The space felt intimate, private—a perfect place for a quiet moment away from the prying eyes of the palace guests.

     Nikolai turned to face her, his expression a mixture of mischief and something deeper, more sincere. His golden hair glinted in the soft candlelight, and his eyes—those ever-changing eyes—were darker now, more focused. His lips curled into a smile, but it was a smile full of intent, full of knowing. “I must admit,” he said quietly, his voice still carrying that charming, playful tone, but now underlined with something that was undeniably magnetic, “I didn’t think you’d be the type to sneak away to a quiet corner.”

     Y/n’s pulse quickened, her heart hammering against her chest. The tension in the air was palpable, thick with possibility. She hadn’t come here to be coy, to play games. She had come here because she couldn’t stop herself from wanting more of him, more of the electrifying chemistry between them. His gaze never left hers, and in that moment, she knew that he, too, was caught in the same web of desire.

     She slowly stepped closer, her gaze dropping to the way the candlelight glinted off his clothing. His shirt—open just enough to reveal the hard lines of his chest—seemed to make him even more alluring. Without thinking, her fingers reached out, brushing against the collar of his shirt. She tugged gently, pulling him closer, her chest brushing against his. The air between them felt charged, as if the space was full of electricity just waiting to snap.

     Nikolai didn’t fight it. Instead, he moved with her, his hand sliding around her waist, pulling her to him with a firm, almost possessive grip. His body was warm, solid against hers, and the scent of him—something woodsy and faintly spicy—wrapped around her, making her senses sharpen.

     Their lips met then, and it was as if a dam had broken. His kiss was urgent, hungry, and she responded in kind, matching his intensity with her own. Her fingers clutched the fabric of his shirt, pulling him even closer, her body pressing into his with a need she hadn’t realized was there. His lips moved against hers in a frantic rhythm, as if they were trying to erase the distance that had always been between them. Y/n felt herself melting into him, the heat of their kiss spreading through her like wildfire.

     For a moment, she forgot everything—forgot about the ball, the guests, the palace. There was only Nikolai, his hands gripping her tightly, his kiss all-consuming. She could feel the heat of him, his body pressing into hers, and it only made her want him more. She felt the familiar flutter in her chest, but this time it was mixed with something stronger, something she couldn’t ignore. Something dangerous.

     When the kiss broke, it wasn’t because they wanted it to. Both of them were panting, their breaths mingling in the small space between them. Nikolai’s forehead rested against hers, and for a moment, they simply stood there, eyes closed, as the sound of their ragged breathing filled the space. His hands rested at her waist, fingers splayed, as though he couldn’t bring himself to let go.

     Y/n’s lips tingled from the kiss, and she slowly met his gaze again, her eyes searching his, full of questions and unspoken thoughts. Without a word, she reached for the buttons of his shirt, her fingers trembling slightly as they worked their way down, slowly unfastening them one by one. The tension between them was thickening, growing more potent with each passing second. Nikolai didn’t stop her, didn’t protest. Instead, he watched her with that same knowing gaze, his chest rising and falling with each breath he took.

     As she opened the last button, the fabric parted, revealing the warm expanse of his chest. The candlelight flickered off his skin, casting soft shadows along his muscles, and Y/n couldn’t help but run her hands over the smoothness of his skin, feeling the heat radiating from him. She traced the lines of his chest, her fingertips brushing against the firm ridges of his muscles, feeling the strength beneath the softness.

     Nikolai let out a soft, low groan at her touch, his hands finding their way to her back, pulling her closer. His lips met hers again, this time more demanding, as if he couldn’t get enough of her. Y/n’s body responded instantly, her hands sliding lower, her fingers skimming the waistband of his trousers before trailing back up to his chest. Every touch seemed to ignite something within him, and the heat between them grew, intense and overwhelming.

     He responded to her touch with equal fervor, his hands exploring the curve of her back, pressing her further into the wall. There was no space between them now—just the feel of their bodies, the heat of their lips, the urgent desire that swirled around them, thick and all-encompassing.

     Y/n’s breath hitched when his lips trailed down her neck, his hands moving to her waist, pushing her dress up slightly. She could feel the steady, firm pressure of his touch, the heat of his body against hers.

     After what felt like an eternity of heated kisses and tangled bodies, their lips finally parted. The hallway seemed to settle back into its quiet stillness, but neither of them could fully catch their breath. Their chests heaved in unison, hearts racing in a way that felt both thrilling and dizzying. Nikolai's hand lingered at her waist, still pulling her close, his forehead resting against hers as they tried to steady their breaths.

     Y/n’s hair had come undone from its elegant updo, strands falling loose around her shoulders, and she couldn’t help but smile softly at the mess they had made of each other. She glanced up at him, noticing that his usually neat attire was now wrinkled, his golden hair disheveled, and his lips swollen from their kisses. A burst of laughter escaped her lips before she could stop it, her chest still rising and falling rapidly from the intensity of the moment.

     Nikolai looked at her with an amused, almost dazed expression, and a slow, boyish grin tugged at the corners of his lips. “I think we’ve both seen better days,” he said, his voice still tinged with breathlessness. He reached up, running a hand through his hair, only making it messier, and chuckled.

     Y/n giggled softly, shaking her head, trying to regain some sense of composure. Her fingers went to her hair, attempting to smooth it back into some semblance of order. She knew she’d have to face the guests again soon, and though she was still flushed from their passionate kiss, she couldn’t help but feel a bit self-conscious about how disheveled she looked. "You’re right,” she said with a teasing smile, “we look like we’ve been caught in a storm."

     Her fingers worked at her hair, trying to pull the loose strands back into place, but she was distracted by the playful yet intense look in Nikolai’s eyes as he watched her. His gaze softened, his lips still curved into that knowing smile. He reached for her wrist gently, his fingers cool against her warm skin, and with surprising tenderness, he pulled her hand away from her hair.

     “Y/n…” His voice was low and serious now, though there was still a playful edge to it. He paused for a moment, his eyes meeting hers with a certain intensity. "You know, I don’t think we’re quite ready to return to the ballroom just yet. Wouldn’t you agree?”

     Her heart fluttered again, the way his gaze lingered on her, full of unspoken promises, made it clear that this wasn’t a casual suggestion. It was an invitation—a quiet request, one that made her pulse race all over again. Her breath caught in her throat as she glanced up at him, the thought of going back to the noisy ballroom seeming less appealing by the second.

     “Where do you suggest we go instead?” Y/n asked softly, her voice almost a whisper as she met his gaze. She could feel the tension between them building once more, the same chemistry that had ignited earlier still simmering beneath the surface. Her body was still humming with the aftereffects of their kiss, and the idea of being alone with him, of indulging in whatever this connection was, felt far more tempting than the thought of returning to the ballroom.

     Nikolai didn’t say a word at first. Instead, he took a small step closer, his thumb brushing against her wrist as he lowered his voice, the words soft yet unmistakably clear. “I think it would be much better if we went back to my bedroom.” His gaze didn’t leave hers, the sincerity in his words making her pulse spike again.

      Y/n’s breath hitched in her chest, the suggestion catching her off guard. She knew she should hesitate, should think it over, but the truth was, she wasn’t sure she wanted to. There was something magnetic about him, something about the way he made her feel seen, alive, and desired. Her mind was clouded with the heat of their earlier kiss, the fire that still burned between them.

     Y/n’s heart pounded in her chest, her mind swirling with everything they’d just shared, everything that still felt so new and thrilling between them. She wasn’t sure where this would lead, but in that moment, all she could focus on was the way he made her feel. The anticipation, the desire, the pull between them.

     Her gaze flickered to his lips for a brief moment, and then, without thinking, she nodded, her voice barely more than a breath. “Alright, lead the way.”

     Nikolai’s smile deepened, and he stepped closer, his free hand gently guiding her by the elbow. He turned and began walking, but his pace was slow, deliberate, as if savoring every moment of this. Y/n followed close behind, her pulse still racing, her thoughts a whirlwind. She had no idea what would happen once they reached his bedroom, but one thing was certain—there was no turning back now.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

thinking about nikolina angst…

[audreyclimbs]

In response to this ask, here’s some Nikolai hurt/comfort ☺️

“c’mere, let me hold you”

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x afab!reader

Warnings: Nikolai being a simp? Allusions to sex, sort of edited oops, established relationship, reader is called milaya (translates to sweet girl in English) so basically fem reader, just Nikolai comforting his betrothed after she has a rough day so pretty much just fluff

First fic yippie! Anon, I hope you like this and please please please keep the requests coming yall!

Your bones felt tired in a way you knew surpassed the physical exhaustion you had endured today. Your eyes stung from the amount of times you had staved off tears of pure frustration, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could force the lump swelling in your throat back down. With heavy footfalls, you carried yourself to the one place of true solace in this Saints-forsaken palace.

Walking past the guards with a familiar half smile that you knew didn’t reach your eyes, you crossed the threshold into Nikolai’s chambers. As if your body could sense the change in atmosphere before your mind caught up, you felt your shoulders relax microscopically.

And there he was in all of his perfect, unfairly handsome glory. The domesticity of this moment alone was enough to bring the first genuine smile, no matter how small, to your lips. You could feel cracks beginning to form in the floodgates you’d been holding shut all day, but here with him, you didn’t truly care.

His hair was in damp waves and based on the faint smell of bathing oils and soap, you guessed he had just finished a bath. He was in a linen sleep shirt, your favorite because of how soft it always felt against your cheek as you two fell asleep, and a pair of sleep pants. Nikolai was sitting up against the headboard of your shared bed, holding what looked like correspondence, likely from one of his outposts along the Ravkan border. Upon seeing you, though, he immediately cast the papers aside and regarded you with a warmth intense enough to melt all of Fjerda. Saints, how you’d missed him today.

“Hello, lovely,” he said softly, hand stretching out to beckon you to bed.

“Hi,” you cringed internally at how small and watery your voice sounded, even to your own ears.

His brows furrowed slightly, but he said nothing, letting you come to him at your own pace. His hand dropped back into his lap as he simply observed you, drinking you in after your time spent apart today. Before making your way to bed, you mindlessly slipped out of your day clothes and into one of the dozens of exquisite nightgowns Nikolai had made for you since your engagement. You had tried and failed to argue with him about how one person could not need that many nightgowns and that you’d be more than satisfied with just a few. He had of course countered with “What makes you think they’re all for your personal enjoyment? I happen to rather love the way you look in silk, satin, lace… nothing at all is my personal favorite, but they’re close seconds I suppose”

You lost that argument rather quickly.

Of course some of them, like the one you chose for this evening, were simply soft satin that draped comfortably over your skin. This one, you thought fleetingly, was made to be kept on, not taken off. Not that that had ever stopped Nikolai before.

Snapping out of your haze, you turned back to the bed and padded your way towards it. As you did, Nikolai shifted forward to sit at the foot of the bed, legs spread to welcome you to stand between them upon your arrival. Mindlessly, you did. His hands instantly greeted your hips, thumbs rubbing soothing circles as his eyes searched your face.

Suddenly, his tunic collar was very interesting.

“What’s wrong, milaya?” He practically whispered, leaning into your space to search your eyes. “Rough day?”

That aggravating lump formed in your throat once more, but you knew there was no point in trying to push it back down again— not with him. At your subconscious admission of defeat, you felt that familiar burning of tears begin once more behind your eyes. You let them come and well up in your vision, blurring the soft cream color of his tunic and how it draped across his strong chest. A silent nod from you.

“Yeah,” you murmured wetly.

“Darling,” Nikolai answered softly, hands sliding from your hips to your lower back, pulling you in closer so that your head made contact with the crook of his neck. “C’mere, let me hold you.”

At those words, you felt the cracks in your floodgates give way. The weight of the day finally came rushing through you in a torrent of frustration, pain, and despair. You felt one cry after another bubble past your lips, tears flooding from your eyes steadily, drenching the collar occasionally Nikolai’s shirt. In the back of your mind, you felt a twinge of guilt at possibly ruining his shirt, but in this moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Not when his hands were running up and down your back, fingertips tracing your spine so so delicately, like you would break or fade away at a fractionally harsher touch.

“Come here, milaya,” he murmured into your hair, pressing a soft kiss to it before his hands slid down to the backs of your thighs, pulling you into his lap effortlessly. Your arms circled around his neck and pulled him closer, as if he’d ever let go. Nikolai whispered soft comforts into your hair and you felt a wave of gratitude that he was letting you cry your frustrations out before trying to figure out what they were.

“Shh, I’ve got you, I’m here,” his lips pressed so softly into your hair. They migrated to your temple and pressed another series of soft kisses to your skin, which was now flushed from how hard you had been crying.

Eventually, your sobs subsided and you simply stayed hidden away in the comfort of Nikolai’s warmth. His hands never stopped their comforting runs up and down the length of your back, occasionally pausing to rub soft circles here and there.

“You want to talk about it?” He asked into your hair, words followed immediately by yet another soft kiss.

You thought for a moment before shaking your head. “No, ruining your shirt helped,” you croaked out, the faintest of laughs following your words.

Nikolai chuckled softly, the sound rumbling through his warm chest and shaking his strong shoulders. The sound alone was enough to stop the sting of the day. If you could get drunk off of it, you would every day.

“Well I’m glad I could be of service,” he said quietly, the slightest of teasing in his voice.

You smiled into his neck, “Thank you,” you said simply.

“Anytime, my love,” Nikolai whispered. Another kiss to your temple.

Without warning, he stoop up and lifted you into his arms before dropping your bodies unceremoniously onto the plush bed. You let out a surprised yelp, your grip tightening from casual to vice-like.

“Nikolai!” You scolded, but your words had no bite to them. You couldn’t help the peals of laughter now spilling from your lips. They only intensified as Nikolai laid you on your back and began attacking your neck with a flurry of kisses. Your giggles filled the candlelit bedchamber, echoing off the walls.

After what felt like ages, he pulled back from your neck, a smile on his lips. He pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, then the corner of your mouth, and finally your lips. You smiled into the warmth of his mouth, hands coming up to slide across his cheeks and into his blonde hair.

Nikolai pulled away, face mere centimeters from yours. “Are you sure it’s okay?” He whispered, eyes searching yours.

You nodded before he even finished his sentence, “Just a bad day— better now. Thanks to you.”

A smile brilliant enough to rival the sun itself crossed his lips. “What can I say, I’m happy to be of service to such a beautiful woman.”

His lips wandered, seemingly without any destination, down your jaw and your neck. There was no heat or expectation, no sense of urgency in the soft presses to your skin, which now felt flushed as you recovered from your bouts of laughter. You sighed happily, hands making their home in his soft, thick locks of hair, raking through them in a way that made you feel the upward curve of Nikolai’s lips against your collarbone.

“You know, my love,” a kiss. You hummed in response, listening to what he had to say. “I can think of other ways I might cheer you up, help you relax,” another few smatters of kisses, moving further up your neck and back to your lips.

You snorted a laugh and raised your eyebrows incredulously at your betrothed. “Is that so, moi tsar?” Your voice had a teasing coo to it as you looked into his hazel eyes. His lips curled into a soft smirk, the kind that was reserved only for you— only in these small, gentle moments where it felt like the world had shrunk down to just the two of you.

His eyes flicked across your features in clear adoration, a fondness growing (if that were even possible) in his gaze. You decided in that moment that any other comfort, even the warmest of baths or the richest foods, paled in comparison to the way Nikolai Lantsov looked at you. The last aching remains of your day drained completely as his eyes settled on yours, and you could almost cry all over again from the sheer amount of love staring back at you.

“What’s going through that beautiful head of yours, hmm?” Nikolai murmured softly, hand wandering up to stroke your locks of hair.

You shook your head fondly. “Pondering on how insatiable you are,” the lie was blatantly obvious. After all, you both knew that he could read you like a book.

Hazel eyes rolled briefly before returning to look into yours. “Right. Not thinking about how much you love and treasure your king and fiancee? How handsome he is? Or how clever, generous, charismatic, loving, daring, unparalleled, wise—“

“Oh for the love of the Saints,” you groaned with a laugh, hands tugging on his blond hair teasingly. “You do so love to hear yourself talk, my love.”

Nikolai leaned in, effectively closing the small gap between your faces. “I’d be more than happy to be shut up,” he whispered.

[exyzedd]

;)

[xanthickee]

This quality of dumbassery i would like to be a part of

[atlabeth]

I desperately need you to give me some jealous nikolai lanstov I'm not even jokinh

my love mine all mine

lowkey continuation of bad luck and im with you; can be read standalone though!

pairing: nikolai lantsov x fem reader

summary: after your return to ravka, nikolai's resolve is tested at a ball.

a/n: i have saved this ask since september because i knew one day i would get around to it. i love nikolai lantsov and i dont write jealous fics often so here we go!! this is technically a continuation of bad luck and im with you but you can read it separately. i keep going back to these two for some reason lmao?? idk. theyre childhood friends to lovers with so much strife in between and that's so special to me lmao. but yah enjoy i MISSED WRITING FOR HIM<3

wc: 2.8k

warning(s): nikolai is a lil jealous obviously! small bit of angst, mostly fluff, lil steamy at the end.

Nikolai feels his lip curling, feels his hand tighten on his glass. 

This is a party. A ball, more specifically, but a celebration nonetheless. He should be smiling, mingling, talking up some baron or duke in the name of Ravka’s economy. He is a prince, after all—a bastard, second son of a prince that plans to take the throne at that—and he’s just returned from years at sea. It is in his best interest to do what he does best and talk as much as possible. If anything, he should be arm in arm with the Sun Summoner to boost both their positions. 

But all he can do is stare at you. 

You’re the embodiment of grace. Your practiced smile looks wholly genuine no matter how long you have to keep it up. Your laugh seems to make others smile without even realizing, ringing out clear like church bells. It’s a sound Nikolai knows he would worship to the end of his days, at least. 

You stand in the midst of noblemen and Nikolai only recognizes one—Artem Aslanov, a son of nobles that the two of you spent much of your youth with. He wonders if you remember each other as well. He certainly seems to, the way he stands just a bit too close to you, the way he’s absolutely eager for your attention. Nikolai holds back a scoff. 

The others are likely from various other Ravkan settlements, though one has to be Kaelish, with his almost offensively ginger hair. 

Not that any of it matters, though. Not one of them can tear their eyes away from you as you talk, magnetic with both your words and inherent charm, and they drink up every bit of your presence. 

Something stirs inside Nikolai at the sight. Logically, he knows he has little to worry about—he knows this is your duty as much as it is his, and you care little for any man’s affections but his. 

But Saints, his heart does not want to listen to silly things such as logic. In this moment, Nikolai is reminded of the truth at its barest—you’re a noblewoman of good breeding, quite extravagant wealth, and considerable beauty. Your years at sea have caused you to develop a quick wit and sharp tongue, and it only serves to make you more appealing.

Your flashy return to Ravka has made you perhaps the most desirable lady at court, and Nikolai is forced to realize he no longer has you all to himself anymore. 

Nikolai has planned to come back and take the Lantsov throne for years now, but he can’t help but long for those days again. Teaching you all the ins and outs of the Volkvolny, how to do every sailor’s knot he knows, showing you the misty mountains of the Wandering Isle and the rolling fields of Novyi Zem and the wonderful world outside of Ravka’s courtly constraints. 

Taking over the ships of slavers and clashing blades with drüskelle and watching a thousand sunrises and sunsets together, unbound by anything but tangled up in every part of each other. 

It was almost laughable. You were worried of Nikolai charming others upon your return, and yet here he was, unable to look away from you for even the slightest second because he was jealous of some noble son.

“Your Highness, are you alright?” 

Nikolai turns back to the conversation he is meant to be paying attention to, already offering a smile that he hopes will make up for his utter lack of focus. Of course, he doesn’t really care what this Kerch merchant thinks of him, and Nikolai’s word will probably mean little to his parents at the moment. They’re still quite angry at him for all his Sturmhondish escapades. This man, whose name he has already forgotten, doesn’t seem to know he’s wasting his time. 

“Of course I am,” he says, and he pats him on the shoulder. He means to say more, but then he catches a glance of Artem pulling you to the side, his hand lingering on your waist much too close for comfort. He’s surprised he doesn’t break his glass with how his fingers clench around it even tighter.  

“Then I would be honored for you to consider my—” 

“I apologize, Jansen.” Nikolai ignores the look on his face at both his interruption and being called the wrong name as he drops his hand. “It’s been wonderful chatting with you, but I’m afraid I must take my leave.” 

Nikolai departs before he can get another word out. He’s sure he’ll get an earful later for his ‘disrespect’ but again, he really could not care less. 

He expects to have to weave his way through the crowd, but a path parts for him wherever he moves. Benefits to being a Lantsov prince rather than another privateer on the sea, he supposes. He feels a number of eyes on him as he walks, but he’s focused on one thing and one thing only. 

Artem seems to be as well, seeing as he doesn’t even look up while he continues talking to you. Nikolai doesn’t blame him for being enraptured, but he does wonder what he thinks that boorish smile will do to you. 

Nikolai exclaims your name as he comes up next to you, sliding his arm around your waist like he’s done a thousand times before and claiming his place at your side. “I’ve been looking for you, milaya. You’ve been awfully popular tonight.”

Your gleaming gaze turns to him and Nikolai feels like he can melt. It doesn’t matter how many times you look at him—not even Alina can muster up something to rival your brightness. 

“Nikolai!” 

Again, the way you say his name makes him weak at the knees. The poshness of your Ravkan faded while you were at sea around common sailors and vagrants, and though he can tell you’re trying your best to hide it in the name of courtly etiquette, it still bleeds through. He adores your accent, how it shows the woman you’ve become rather than the girl you ran away from. 

“I’ve been looking for you,” you counter as you lean into him. You’ve applied some fanciful perfume, and it’s intoxicating. He has to stop himself from inhaling deeply—he has little shame when it comes to you, but he’s got to have some poise. “You’re the belle of the ball, Mister Prince.” 

“And you’re the apple of everyone’s eye, lapushka,” he says. “Especially mine.” 

Your heartbeat has been steadily increasing ever since he slotted himself at your side, and he can feel it speed even more with his words. It makes Nikolai smile without even fully realizing it. 

He feels Artem’s gaze on him all the while, and Nikolai chooses to ignore it until now. He looks up, making sure his eyes widen cartoonishly and his smile deepens with the same caliber. “Aslanov! I’m so sorry, I didn’t even notice you!” 

“Your Highness,” he says, polite but terse as he bows his head. “It’s good to see you—it has truly been too long.” 

“Oh, no need for titles,” Nikolai admonishes. “We’re all friends here, are we not?”

He puts particular emphasis on that word, and Artem shifts ever so slightly under Nikolai’s gaze. So he makes him nervous—good. 

“We are,” he agrees, and he looks back at you. “We were merely catching up—it has been years since I last had the good fortune to be in your presence.” Artem smiles at you once again, far more genuine than anything he’s given Nikolai. “Of course, I look forward to hearing about everything you learned at university.” 

“I’ve certainly learned a lot,” you say. Very tongue-in-cheek—you don’t even try to hide it. 

Of course. The cover story for Nikolai’s being away from court was his apprenticeships, culminating in his studies at the University of Ketterdam—it would be a shame of the highest order for your parents to admit you ran away to avoid the marriage they’d planned for you, and even more so to admit it had gotten their daughter kidnapped by slavers, so they simply said you joined him there. 

Advancing your studies for a better view, they’d spouted. We want our heir to be well-educated on all matters of the world. Nikolai knows you learned more on the seas by his side than you would have in a classroom staring at endless amounts of books. He only regrets he can’t shout how amazing you’ve been for the past few years from the rooftops. 

“Perhaps we could discuss it privately some time.” Nikolai will give it to him; his smile is a bit more charming this time. He still wants to punch it off him. “You know, my family has only refined our winemaking over the years—we’d have a wonderful time with a bottle of our finest red—”

“Unfortunately, it will have to wait,” Nikolai cuts in before you can respond. He can’t help it—he’s raring to have you to himself, and he doesn’t know how much more he can take of Artem’s flirting. “My parents are eager to speak to you, darling. We’ll see you around, Aslanov.” 

He pulls you away, once again feeling Artem’s eyes on the two of you. He purposefully pulls you closer against him—your warmth against him does wonders to quell the spike of jealousy in his chest.

“You really are impossible,” you say wryly, but you make no move to part from his side as he leads you through the crowd. 

“I’m just making sure he understands the situation,” Nikolai says innocently. 

“We were just talking,” you say. “You know, it has been years.”

“You were,” he agrees. “But our friend here was very interested in trying to be more. Couldn’t you tell?”

You laugh and you place your hand on his chest. “Nikolai Lantsov, are you jealous?”

“He was talking about his family’s vineyard.” He smiles back at you in turn. He can’t help the bit of bravado that trickles in. “For me to be jealous, I’d have to think he had a chance.”

“Saints, you are!” you exclaim. You stop, halting him in turn, and you grin at him with a twinkle in your eye. Again, he smiles subconsciously just at the sight of it. “Nikolai, I cannot believe you!” 

“How?” he asks, cocking his head boyishly. “Have you caught a glimpse of yourself tonight?”

“I’ve looked at myself in the reflection of every glass,” you say dryly. “After all the time spent in sea-faring clothes, it’s very strange to be back in gowns.”

“Then you should know how absolutely stunning you are,” he says. “Breathtaking, showstopping, the very image of perfection…” Nikolai runs his finger over the embroidery on one of your off-the-shoulder sleeves. The rest of his hand lingers on your bare skin, and he longs to remove the barrier his gloves have created. 

“And yet it still doesn’t beat how you look in a privateer’s garb,” Nikolai says. 

He places his hand over yours and brings it up from his chest. He entangles your fingers and uses the grasp to pull you even closer to him, your chests nearly touching. The warmth of your body tempts him to go even further, but he holds back. 

“Really?” you ask. “This gown cost more vlachkas than anyone deserves, took the labor of a small army to create, and weighs as much as you do, and you like me more in that dingy jacket with pants that smell like gunpowder?” 

“Oh, yes,” Nikolai nods. “They don’t just smell like gunpowder—they make your rear look very appealing.” 

You laugh louder than you should and it draws eyes in your direction. You don’t pay them any mind, gaze still locked on Nikolai, as you hit him on the chest. 

“You still have the mind of a sailor, I see,” you drawl. “But I must admit I also miss it. The simplicity, if anything.” 

“Just because I didn’t keep a king’s mantle on deck doesn’t mean I wasn’t outfitted in the same gaudy way,” Nikolai says. “A Lantsov must always be prepared, you know.” 

“Well, I used to hate that blue frock of yours, especially when we first reunited,” you muse. You extract your hand and trail your fingers down his current coat—he shivers at your touch even through the material. “Now I think I prefer it over anything else in your wardrobe.”

He frowns. “You hated my coat?” 

“I hated a lot of things at the time,” you say wryly. Your hand finds its way back to his and you intertwine them together again. “Besides, it’s grown on me.” 

Nikolai chuckles, and the two of you fall silent when you shift and rest your head on his shoulder. You’ve managed to find your way to the edge of the ballroom, and it gives you a little more privacy. You stand together, watching as everyone mingles, half bearing a fake smile and the other half lying through their teeth. He didn’t think the Ravkan court would like to think they had more in common with his lying, cheating, stealing crew than they thought.  

“So,” Nikolai says, finally breaking the silence, “is being back everything you’ve imagined?”

You huff. “Hardly. Everything is so… restrained.” 

He hums in acknowledgement. “Speaking of restrained, have your parents gotten over their fit yet?” 

Your laugh is sharper this time. “Once again, hardly. You’d think I murdered the queen the way they’re treating me.” 

Nikolai expected that, to be honest. He insisted on being by your side in the initial reunion and they didn’t dare act out of turn in front of royalty, but you said the moment you returned to your palace apartment with them, they yelled at you loud enough to be heard in Novyi Zem. 

“They should be thankful,” Nikolai scoffs. “It’s like they don’t even care what nearly happened to you because of their haste to marry you off.” 

“I don’t even like to think about it,” you murmur. He feels you shiver and he pulls you even closer to him. “But I was right—they want me to be who I was before I left. They’re even convinced that they can get me to agree to the marriage they’ve got planned.” 

His frown deepens. “Saints, must I sweep you off your feet in front of all of Ravka to get everyone to realize you’re a taken woman? I am a very good shot, but I’ve only got so many bullets—”

“Nikolai,” you interrupt with a laugh, raising your head to look him in the eye. He’s glad to see the lightness has returned. Your near fate isn’t a subject either of you like to talk about. “You don’t need to worry, and you certainly don’t need to worry about that.” You cup his cheek with your hand and he leans into your touch. “If one thing has stayed the same through all of this, it’s that you’re the only one out there for me. After all the pomp and circumstance you have to perform with Alina is over, you can tell them yourself.” 

“Good,” Nikolai says with a slight smile. “Because I don’t think I can stand to hear Aslanov talk about the grapes his family’s been growing for another second.” 

You laugh again, and you lean in to press a kiss to his lips. Nikolai beats you to it as he covers your hand with his own, using his other to draw you even closer. Practically every part of you is touching as he kisses you like a starving man, with your lips against his and your perfume invading his senses and your soft moan that’s muffled against his mouth. After a night spent away from your side and having to watch other men compete fruitlessly for your affections, he might as well be. 

When you finally pull away, lipstick a mess and pupils dilated and expression nothing less than adoration, it takes everything Nikolai has in him not to take your face in his hands and do it all over again. He wants to mess up your hair, your makeup, kiss your lips until they’re swollen and ravish, worship your body until you can think of nothing but him, say nothing but his name. 

“Nikolai,” you gasp, interrupting his sinful thoughts, “do you want to get out of here for a bit?” 

Whatever restraint he previously had dissolves with your words as he kisses you again, harder this time. You’re water when he’s dying, a lifeboat when he’s drowning, the very air he needs to breathe. Everything has come to a head after such a boring, strength-testing night, and all Nikolai wants is you. 

He brings you even closer with the arm he has around your waist, already starting to pull you along as he heads towards the doorways. He’s sure to stick to the walls, not wanting to draw more attention than necessary when even the flushed warmth of your heated skin through his jacket is enough to drive him crazy. 

Nikolai doesn’t know how he ever spent seven years away from you. He could barely handle half a ball. 

“More than anything,” he breathes. 

[criesinliess]

━APRIL 2023; susan's recs

FATE: THE WINX SAGA

━━RIVEN

i’m jealous of the way @imkylotrash

hold my girl @↑

call me back @randomimaginesforrandompeople

scared to death @↑

little sister @↑

one-on-one @novawrts

HARRY POTTER

━━GEORGE WEASLEY

it takes two @ickle-ronniekins

━━ DRACO MALFOY

just friends — masterlist @bwbatta

━━FRED WEASLEY

selfish @george-fabian-weasley

━━OLIVER WOOD

blind to it @heloisedaphnebrightmore

MARAUDERS ERA

━━SIRIUS BLACK

all your fault @heloisedaphnebrightmore

absurd ideas @↑

crimes of jealousy @↑

gentle seduction @↑

cause i don't want you like a best friend @evermoreal

━━JAMES POTTER

five times james wanted to kiss you and the one time he did @moonlitmeeks

hey, james! @heloisedaphnebrightmore

LOCKWOOD & CO

━━ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

knight in shining armour @givemea-dam-break

the poltergeist @↑

jealousy @↑

how to dance @↑

hidden by the new stars @↑

stunning @vi-trying-to-survive

you can hear it in the silence @tangledinlove

just another love song @↑

pretty boy @maraschinomerry

GRISHAVERSE

━━KAZ BREKKER

he just sounds like that @amsgrey

of antidotes @honeyfict

dense @↑

love language @genyakosstyk

dive into the waves below @↑

of kings @yelenasbraid

everything @theowritesstuff

deathly fever @webslinger-holland

another dream @↑

take it slow @amsgrey

━━NIKOLAI LANTSOV

yours no more @theowritesstuff

wanting was enough @genyakosstyk

OUTER BANKS

━━RAFE CAMERON

dating john b's sister @a-aexotic

midsummers @butgilinsky

blueberry pancakes @↑

tension @↑

and isn't it just so pretty to think? @folkloreslovechild

heartbroke bitch; guess you really did it this time; kiss for kiss, heart for heart; a crack in the glass @fandomxpreferences

dirty litte secret @↑

passenger princess @sunraies

cupcakes and rainstorms @↑

fair play @laiiaaa

dancing with our hands tied @forevermoreharrington

━━JJ MAYBANK

hot for a pogue @butgilinsky

the last year @↑

the part where you kiss me @laiiaaa

THE BEAR

━━CARMY BERZATTO

sink in @nymphlamp

TOP GUN: MAVERICK

━━BRADLEY 'ROOSTER' BRADSHAW

delirium @kyber-crystal

head in the clouds @↑

MARVEL

━━BUCKY BARNES

the last first kiss @witchywithwhiskey

almost believing @intrepidacious

insomnia @↑

first date, last night @↑

not even a little @↑

heal me, baby @↑

━━STEVE ROGERS

moving on @intrepidacious

━━LOKI LAUFEYSON

clouded judgement @heloisedaphnebrightmore

silly misgardian @↑

SCHOOL SPIRITS

━━WALLY CLARK

hopes and fears @general-fanfiction

i want to help @anthemabby

STRANGER THINGS

━━STEVE HARRINGTON

love her too @divine17

[er-osion]

Cowboy Like Me

pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x gn!Reader

summary: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s song, Cowboy Like Me.  Reader and Nikolai Lantsov are in a political marriage, both with the same goals of achieving peace and success for their country.  Can two married strangers fall in love with their shared dreams?

word count: 2.5k

warnings: none, fluff

you can see the full taylor swift song-fic masterlist here

⋄∘∗⋅⋆≁≁⋆⋅∗∘⋄

The glowing ballroom was alight with chatter.  Ladies and Lords from across Ravka flitted about the room in their finest fabrics, painting the shimmering room in brilliant colors.  You stood at the top of the small staircase, overlooking the shimmering scene and fiddling with your outfit.

“Enjoying the evening, Your Majesty?”  The King’s voice broke you out of your trance.  You didn’t turn your head, only your eyes, to look at him.

“It’s fine, everything came together excellently.”  You answered diplomatically.

“Indeed,”  Nikolai paused, as if unsure of how to continue, “we should probably take the next dance.”

This time you turned your head to look at him with an eyebrow raised questionably.  “Are you sure?  We did open the event, after all.”

“Well, all these rich folks want to hear and see us act like this could be a love match, so we must give them what they want.”  Your husband spoke blandly, as if the very thought of this marriage being a love match was nauseating and you tried not to take it personally.

“Very well.”  You nodded and the two of you waited for the current song to end before descending the stairs with imperial elegance and leading the next waltz.  You and Nikolai Lantsov have been married for well over a year now.  This is not the first event you’ve had to put on the mask of young love to convince your audience that the two of you were happily married rather than estranged and indifferent, but even with all the practice it never got any easier.  The marriage, like most noble ones, had been arranged, strategic.  The two of you maintained fairly separate lives, considering the close proximity the two of you had to commit to.  But during social gatherings like tonight’s fete, such separation was not possible.

You dreaded and loved nights like these for that very reason.  Nights like these were the only times when you’d be able to get a taste of a love-filled marriage.  It was the most bittersweet treat you’ve ever had.  You scarfed down this desert during the evening, enjoying the saccharine taste of what could be love, and then in the morning you’d be sick with the bitter aftertaste of realizing it was faker than the smile you plastered for all the nobles.

You and Nikolai twirled and swayed to the tune of an elaborate waltz, ignoring all the eyes drinking your forms up like kvas.  No words were exchanged, the two of you focused on your own thoughts and tried not to let that fact show to your audience.

You broke the silence in the middle of the song, your voice quiet but steady so as not to be overheard, “You’ve been informed of my upcoming departure, I assume.”

Your husband blinked, his hazel eyes zeroing in on your face.  You watched as your words slowly sunk in, waiting for a response.  “Yes.  You’ll be gone for 2 weeks to Novyi Zem, correct?”  Nikolai questioned impassively.  You nodded, his question was merely polite since you both knew he knew where you were going and for how long.

“I have my agenda all set, everything needed is prepared, I only bring it up in case there was something in specific you needed from me on this trip that I hadn’t thought of on my own.”  You explain.

Nikolai hummed, thinking.  “Take Tamar with you as your personal guard.”

“I already have–”

“I know you already have your own guard, but my request is that you take Tamar with you as well.  I do not trust that one viscount in their court, what was his name?  Well, whatever it is, you should bring Tamar.”

“But Tamar is meant to stay with you, Your Majesty.”

“I will be safe in the palace in our home country, you will be in a foreign nation.  You asked if I needed something specific from you on this trip, and that would be for you to take your safety more seriously.”  Nikolai’s tone held a finality that told you he wasn’t budging on this discussion.  You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his callback to the last time he went on a diplomatic mission and you insisted that he didn’t take his safety seriously.

“So be it.”  And with that, your brief conversation was over, and the two of you went back to coexisting in silence that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable.  The ending of the song was your saving grace as you excused yourself to go and mingle amongst the other nobles for some time, leaving the King to his own devices.

****

Your team was working in a flurry to get the final preparations for your trip to Novyi Zem done.  The past week, you’ve spent huddled up in your office, making plans for as many situations as your mind could come up with.  The tall oak doors of your office were cracked open and one of your guards slipped inside. 

“Your Grace, His Majesty has come for a word with you.”  The guard spoke and your eyes narrowed in confusion and some suspicion.

“Let him in.”  You approved with a dismissive wave of your hand, returning your gaze to the paperwork in front of you.  You heard Nikolai’s footsteps enter the office and the click of the doors closing.  You waited for him to speak, continuing your writing without looking up to acknowledge his entry.  It was unusual for him to visit you during your work time, especially when your present occupation was separate from his.

“You’ve been rather busy lately.”  Your husband finally spoke.  Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you looked up at him.  Of course you’ve been busy, you’re about to depart on an incredibly important diplomatic mission to secure a trade deal with Novyi Zem, you can’t let any unforeseen problem prevent you from your goal.

“I have much to arrange.”  You concluded after a moment.  Nikolai nodded and glanced at your stacks of paperwork.

He motioned toward your desk, “And all of that?” he questioned.

“My insurance policies for the trip.”  You provided plainly.  The blonde haired man ambled closer to your desk and carefully picked up a piece of paper with your notes on it, reading carefully with an inscrutable expression.

“You plan thoroughly.”  He noted, as if he was just now coming to this realization.  You subconsciously scoffed quietly. 

“Of course, the people of Ravka have a lot riding on the outcome of this mission.”  You responded incredulously.  Did he really think you weren’t taking this extremely seriously?  Your one job was to your people, your heart was devoted to improving the living situation of your country.  Did he truly think he was the only one between the two of you that cared so deeply for this nation?

Nikolai traded the paper in his hands for another one, eyes skipping across it.  “It seems you have some tricks up your sleeve in place for this mission.”  Your heart stuttered at his tone that was almost, impressed?  

Your lips threatened to quirk up in a smirk. “Surprised, Moi Tsar?”

“I really shouldn’t be, I suppose.  It seems you can be a schemer when you want to.”  His voice had a teasing lilt, his golden eyes lit up with mischief.

“It takes one to know one.”  You tossed back, savoring the way his pink lips twitched in pleasant surprise at your response.

“Of course,”  Nikolai paused, considering his next words, “well, I shall leave you to your scheming then.  I’m sure all the cards you have stashed up your sleeve will make Ravka proud.”

You wanted to respond but failed to think of anything so you merely watched as your husband exited your office.

****

The trip was only supposed to go for two weeks, it had now been four.  Nikolai ran a hand through his hair, messing it up further.  The communications between the palace and your entourage had given no surefire answer as to why your trip was taking so long and how soon it would be wrapped up.  No war had been declared, which was reassuring, but there was no way for him to tell if you’d been injured.  Nikolai had even written to you, something neither of you have ever done during the duration of your marriage.  But your responses were just as vague as the reports he was getting from the guard, as if you didn’t want to admit you also were unsure of the timeline of your return.

Each day you remained in Novyi Zem, the King’s worries grew.  Nikolai hated feeling like he wasn’t in control, and when his spouse was in a foreign nation away from his line of sight, he felt particularly out of control.  But the worst part of this whole thing was the fact that this worry was new.  He’d never really cared this much before, or at least, not on such a personal level.  Your occupation or separation had never bugged the King like it did now.  A year of being married and he was just now realizing what it’s like to miss your partner.  His stomach churned at the thought.

You had told him once, at the beginning of your marriage, that you were not looking for or expecting love out of this union, only the fulfillment of your duty to Ravka.  He hadn’t given it much thought at the time, because his outlook mirrored yours.  But now?  Now, the fact you may never want his love was haunting him.  In your love for your country, you’re just like him.  But now Nikolai was left wondering if you had any love to spare for him.

By the time you came home, you’d been gone for five weeks, seven hours, and twenty-three minutes.  Nikolai was made aware of your return during a meeting with his advisors and he nearly ended the meeting there in a fit of excitement at your return.  But his common sense got the better of him and he remained in the meeting until the end, giving you time to settle back into your shared room and unwind from the long journey.

Nikolai all but ran to your marital chambers.  When he entered, you were finishing up getting ready for a relaxing night in bed.  His eyes raked your figure clad in your sleeping clothes, his heart fluttered and face heated at your domestic appearance.  “Welcome back.”  Nikolai’s choked whisper was a drum in the silence of your room.

His oddly comforting tone made you smile without thinking.  “Thank you, Your Grace.  It’s very nice to be back after such an unexpectedly long trip.”  You chuckled quietly, shaking your head in an attempt to shake the heat slowly creeping up your face.  A tension filled silence grew between you and your husband, neither of you knowing where to take the conversation.  During the duration of your trip, you had found yourself missing Nikolai more than you’d imagined.  You hadn’t realized how much space he took up in your life until you were without him.  Your heart clenched at the sight of him, in his uniform with tired eyes from a day full of activity but a smile full of youthful passion.

Nikolai cleared his throat, almost awkwardly, “Getting ready for bed?” he asked shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet.

“I was planning on reading for a bit, I’m not quite tired enough to go to sleep yet,”  Your voice trailed off, unsure of your next few words, “did you… have any other occupations for the night?”  You asked hesitantly, eyes flying around the room to look at anything but your husband.

You didn’t see Nikolai’s back straighten at your question or his eyes blink rapidly in shock at your words.  The young King tried not to get carried away and read too much into your words, but he couldn’t help his heart which was going crazy at the implications of your inquiry.  “No, not tonight,” Nikolai took a step closer to you, “Why?”  he asked in return.

You inhaled sharply, grabbing your book off the sofa by the fireplace and walking it over to your nightstand, “Well, you’re welcome to join me for the evening… if you’d like.”  Your voice grew quiet, unconsciously fearful of his rejection.  Nikolai’s breath hitched as he clenched and unclenched his hands.  You finally looked back up at him, your eyes apprehensive but imploring.  Both of your hearts thundered in your chests as Nikolai took another two steps closer to you.

“That sounds… most enjoyable.”  Your husband concluded breathlessly.  You smiled in relief and joy, nodding and then pivoting to slip into your shared king bed.  Nikolai’s brilliant grin grew to mirror your own as he got out of his uniform and into his pajamas.

Nikolai grabbed a stack of papers he was supposed to debrief on, both of you settling in next to each other with your own reading material.  You’d never felt so elated, and all you were doing was relaxing next to your husband, a man you weren’t even supposed to love.  Yet you did, you hadn’t realized it until your prolonged trip away from him, but you loved Nikolai Lantsov.  If only you knew he had come to the same conclusion as you while you were away.

“Would it be inappropriate to admit that I missed you in Novyi Zem?”  You blurted out, looking away from your book to settle your gaze on the blonde man beside you.  His focus snapped to you, you could see the surprise in his eyes.

“No, not at all.  In fact, I’d wager I missed you even more.” 

“Good.”  You hummed with a satisfied smirk.

“Tell me, sweetheart, your prolonged trip wasn’t a part of some grand scheme to make me confess my feelings for you, was it?”  Nikolai leaned in closer to you, his voice baiting and playful.

“Ah, you caught on to the ace up my sleeve, what a shame.” You shook your head in faux disappointment, subconsciously moving closer to Nikolai.

“Hmm, well I should warn you now then, that my next trip abroad may end with an unexpected extension.”  Your husband muttered conspiratorially.

“Sounds quite suspicious, Moi Tsar.  I never took you for a schemer.”  You quipped back, eyes spending more and more time taking in his pink lips in the candle light. 

“It takes one to know one.”  Nikolai recalled jokingly, his hazel eyes focused on your lips.  And finally, the two of you met in the middle.  The kiss was slow and featherlight, both of you testing these uncharted waters of romance.  You were shocked by the soft plushness of his mouth and Nikolai came to the dazzling realization that he’d be addicted to the sweet taste of your lips for the rest of his life.  For over a year now, the two of you had been fighting separate battles for your shared nation, not realizing how easily your goals aligned.  Now, in the private alcove of your chambers, the two of you discovered that you had a new battle to fight, one for love and light.  Your new pursuit of a loving marriage would lead the way to the development of a better Ravka, one in which everyone could thrive like you two did in each other’s loving glow.