#it's what Sokka deserves

[demaparbat-hp]

He truly did.

[ecoterrorist-katara]

The tragedy of Katara’s parentification

Sokka and Katara were both parentified, and it’s a profoundly life-changing thing for both of them. One of the saddest things in ATLA, though, is how Sokka sort of got to outgrow parentification, but Katara never did.

Sokka’s told to be the man. The provider, the protector. He’s not so good at the former (his hunting failures are a consistent source of comic relief), and he takes failures of the latter very, very hard. He doesn’t manage to save Yue, and that wrecks him. After Yue, he becomes extremely protective of Suki in a way that’s borderline offensive to her. He’s willing to do anything to protect his friends and his family, including something as irresponsible as breaking into the Boiling Rock. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Sokka is the only one of the Gaang who unambiguously kills. The rest of them may technically have clean hands because of cartoon logic, but Combustion Man is very dead, and Sokka is the one who killed him. We don’t know how he feels about it, because the show never goes there, but I have a pet theory that Sokka is so uncharacteristically (remember he was team “leave Zuko to freeze to death”) against Katara confronting Yon Rha in The Southern Raiders because he’s the only who knows what killing feels like and wants to protect Katara from it.

But by the end of the show, Sokka’s in a place where he can start to let go of his need to protect. Objectively, all his friends are unbelievably powerful and can take care of themselves, including his sister and his girlfriend. Suki is the one who saves him in the final battle, representing not only a reversal of his initial cartoonish misogyny, but also demonstrating that he is worthy of protection. And of course, he and his friends saved the world, so there isn’t really an enemy that he has to protect them from anymore. Sokka’s loved ones create the conditions under which his parentified behaviour is no longer necessary. Sokka would still have to take the first step to stop seeing himself as the one who has to lay his life on the line, but at least it’s possible for him.

But not Katara.

Katara had to take on the mom role after their mother was murdered, which meant she was responsible for domestic labour and emotional support. Sokka says in The Runaway that her role was to keep the family together. Unlike protection, that’s always a full time job regardless of the war. We see Katara spending more screen time than anybody cooking, getting food, mending, and generally doing women’s work. We see Katara giving everyone emotional support, including strangers and her enemy. We see Katara putting aside her own discomfort and her own hurt in The Desert because if she falls apart, they all die. Nobody ever showed her that she doesn’t need to be the only one who cooks, or that somebody else can be responsible for the emotional wellbeing of her friends, or that — god forbid — someone else can actually be responsible for her emotional wellbeing.

That’s why I never cared for the Ka/taang argument of “he teaches her to be a kid again!” Putting aside the fact that Katara ends up taking care of Aang a lot more as the series goes on, the whole tragedy of parentification is that you can never again be a child. That part of your childhood, your god-given right, is robbed from you. It is extremely precious and important to still be able to be a kid, but breaking free of parentification is not about seeing yourself as a kid. It’s about breaking free of being responsible for everyone’s feelings and behaviours.

For Katara, that responsibility is not problem of perception, but of reality. Unlike Sokka, who was told and shown that his loved ones are capable of protecting themselves, Katara has zero reason to believe that her loved ones are able to feed and clothe themselves and not fall apart emotionally. Between Toph and Sokka who emphatically don’t want to do this work, it all falls on Katara. Telling a parentified child that they just need to loosen up is akin to telling an overworked mother that she needs to just relax (“happy Mother’s Day! You get a break from chores, which you will catch up on tomorrow because nobody else is doing them”). It doesn’t accomplish anything if nobody creates the circumstances under which it’s possible to let go of responsibilities. A lot of Zutara fans, spanning all the way back to the early days of the fandom, like the “Momtara and Dadko” trope where Zuko also does chores. Why? Because even without the concept and language of parentification, many fans recognized that Katara’s performance of domestic and emotional labour is inequitable and probably very taxing.

Growing out of parentification is about more than just letting go of old expectations: it’s also about finding a new way to value yourself beyond the role you grew up with. I’ve said this before, but it’s very important to acknowledge that just because a kid is parentified doesn’t mean they’re actually good at being a parent. In fact, it’s probably a given that they’re not, because they’re kids performing roles that are developmentally inappropriate! Sokka remains a shit hunter; he becomes a decent fighter but he’s still miles behind his friends. A big part of healing from his parentification is finding another area — strategy, engineering, project management (what else do you call that schedule) — where he actually excels, to which he can dedicate his time and from which he can derive satisfaction and a sense of identity. For Katara, fighting for the oppressed and combat waterbending give her that. Crucially, however, Katara does not stop being a girl when she becomes a warrior. She’s still responsible for domestic and emotional labour. Unlike Sokka, whose protector duties were more or less relieved as the series went on and he found new ways to contribute to the group, Katara continued to perform her old role in addition to her new one (which is depressingly realistic btw, look up feminist theory around the concept of the second shift). Still, it’s important that she found these new ways to value herself and her contributions…

…which disappear in her adult life. Where’s adult Katara fighting for the oppressed? Where’s adult Katara enjoying her status as a master waterbender? Where’s Mighty Katara? Where’s the Painted Lady? Where’s the person who vanquished a whole Fire Lord?

What do we know about adult Katara? She’s no longer a rabblerouser or an ecoterrorist. She did not translate her desire to help the downtrodden into a political role, like being Chief or on the United Republic Council. She’s not known as the best waterbender in the world, only the best healer, even though her combat abilities are what she took the most pride in. Even as a healer, she established no hospitals, trained no widespread acolytes (except Korra, I guess?), and made no known contributions to the field.

What Katara is known for…is being a wife and a mother. The same role she was forced to take on at age 8. One which she performed for the next 80+ years.

[yunulus]

figuring out how i want to draw the gaang

[seyaryminamoto]

Fic-to-Art #51: Gladiator's Twelfth Anniversary

Alas... it is the 26th. And as much as my life has become VERY BUSY, I did not forget the occasion. Unfortunately, I couldn't pull off my usual insanely ambitious projects because I'm working on a whole other stupidly ambitious project atm, one that might just hopefully get me going in my professional life! Thus, as much as I hate having to cut myself short for my beloved predilect fic, I've had to do so a little bit, BUT...

I still wanted to do something to commemorate the occasion, so I asked my patrons what they would like to see for this month. The winning option in the poll was for a new cover for the story, and while I really love the one we've got going right now, this one, while simpler maybe, is a very fulfilling piece due to how long it's taken me to EVER depict these two properly in this scenario. I don't know why I never felt like I'd pulled it off, but I did it this time!

Of course, to the eagle-eyed, there are a few things to unpack in this piece, suffice to say it is a hint of things to come, but I won't make any promises as to the absolute, spot-on accuracy of the scene this is referencing, since I haven't written it yet. But I will, oh, I will... it will hit me in the feels very much, but I will do it when the time comes.

Alas, if you'd like to go down memory lane with me today, feel free to revisit the Tenth Anniversary art collection, it was the last time I had the chance to REALLY go all out 😭 one day, I hope, we'll have a new video all the newer art and we'll have a happy ending video rather than the super stressful tension-rising one that we've got her. Hope yoeu enjoy and happy Gladiatorversary! (?) (did I ever call it that before?? Welp I did it now!)

If you'd like to be part of the creative process behind these pieces, a $1 pledge on Patreon is enough to suggest prompts, vote in polls and read snippets of the next Gladiator chapters one week in advance!

[yourhighness6]

This is such a random thought but is it just me or were we cheated out of seeing the first conversation between the water tribe siblings and the members of their sister tribe in "The Waterbending Master". Like, it probably would have been hilarious for one considering that they would have to explain that yes, this is the avatar, yes, he is alive, yes, they are just kids, yes, they are the chief's children. Besides that, this is the first time the Southern and Northern tribes have had contact with each other for probably at least a decade. We were robbed

[captainblogger]

Rakhi is a tradition passed in hindu culture for thousands of years, in which a brother swears to protect his sister for life and the sister ties a ceremonial ribbon on her brother's hand to signify their bond

And then there's modern girls😭🙏🏼

[the-badger-mole]

Do you think Katara should have apologized to Sokka for accusing him of not loving their mother like she did?

Not really. I mean, it was a harsh thing to say, but I'd argue it was accurate. Sokka himself has admitted that his younger sister supplanted his mother in his memories. Also, for Sokka to take Aang's side for the reasons he did was also harsh. I think they deserved to have a deeper conversation about that whole situation. .

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

the atla live action remake reminds me of spop, they're just changing everything from the original. at what point does it just turn into a completely different story? isn't it better to just start off with your own original series with original characters instead of trying to readapt a beloved classic?

[starryeyeddreamer21]

Oh no, oh fuck, I'm back in my zukka era

[awesome-normal-heroes]

"Aang kisses Katara without permission! He's the worst!"

Well, then I guess Sokka is the worst too...

[witchering10123]

live action hahn/yue/sokka and no, I will not be accepting any criticism

[sobeksewerrat]

Season 1 Zuko is so pathetic like "I NEED TO CAPTURE THE AVATAR" no you don't bbg you need to listen to ur uncle and get urself a nice found family consisting of fellow traumatised teenagers

[toph-bi-fong]

“A.zula deserves a redemption arc!”

Me, remembering the time she flat-out killed Aang: Does she though?

[zukomysweetbabyboy]

just saw a post that was like “atla wrote one of the most complex sibling dynamics ever (katara and sokka) and for some reason people point to zuko and azula like they’re not just having normal sibling interactions” and look. i am ranting and raving about my water tribe babies on the DAILY, i Love them & i love analyzing them, their dynamic is like a chew toy to me, they’re beautiful and tragic and sweet and deserve all the attention in the world. BUT to call the fire nation royal children NORMAL sibling interactions— what da hell was your childhood like? n o r m a l??? nOrMaL???

[witchering10123]

day 6! I present: sokka of the southern water tribe

(template by mondlichtkatze)

[linuseer]

I'm tired of people defining Aang as this boring little vanilla guy. Aang helped Katara destroy a factory. He participated in Toph's scams. He shrugged off Katara's theft of the waterbending scroll and heartily laughed at her jokes about it. He was delighted by the Painted Lady ruse. He mastered airbending at twelve and the avatar state at thirteen. He snooped around the old ship after Katara said it was booby trapped and dared her to follow and stepped up to take the blame when it went badly and then surrendered himself to protect the village because he knew he could hand everyone on that ship their asses and escape. He outright lied to two communities that had been bickering for a century to get them to stop. He egged on Katara when she decided to throw hands with Pakku. He wants to ride every big animal in the world ("they don't like being ridden but that's what makes it fun" -unhinged take). He has sick burns for everyone which are doubly funny because they're almost always unintended as such. He threw a clandestine dance party in the nation that banned dancing and thought he was dead and wanted him dead. Before that he corrected and argued with teachers, beat a bully without lifting a finger and then brought his teenage friends to pose as his parents. The whole Bonzu Pippipadaleopsicopolis the Third thing. The being idiots with Sokka in Ba Sing Se thing with the bowing and the busboys disguises. He rightfully asked "what's cosmic power compared to a girl". Let's add all the badass stuff he does as a bender and as the Avatar up to and including energybending and the conversation with Koh the Face Stealer. That time in The Chase when he finished the fur trail and then decided to just sit down, sleep deprived, to wait and face whoever it was chasing them. Aang is one of the funniest and coolest characters I've ever seen and he deserves more respect. Absolutely unhinged kid with immense powers and the world is lucky he's goofy and has a good heart.