#it's weird because i wasn't particularly nice to either of them but they would not get the hint

[daydreaming-in-daisies]

i was this 👌🏾 close to riding that mechanical bull at the pride party today until the creepy old dude operating it kept insisting i go on and that he'll make it go "real slow" because "i'd look good on it" 🤢

[markscherz]

This might be a weird question but I can't think of a better person to ask! My nibling recently came out as non-binary and wants to change their name, but they're struggling to find something they are happy with.

They were given a feminine name at birth and are currently using a masculine name, but aren't happy with either of them. Every human name that's suggested to them is either too masc, too femme, or has poor associations. However, they love frogs, so I wondered if that might be a solution.

I've tried to find frog names that might work as a human name, but so far I'm not having much luck. It's not allowed to start with R or J, and apparently it's not allowed to have an X in it because nibling thinks they're "not cool enough" to carry that off (I've tried explaining that they're wrong, but 16 year olds are very sensitive).

If this isn't too weird a question, can you think of any frog or toad names that might be manageable as human names? We live in the UK for reference

So many thanks for even reading this giant info dump 💕

Wow this is only the second time I have gotten to help find a name for a human. What an honour.

Okay firstly, sounds 100% like your nibling is cool enough to use an X (despite my current negative emotions associated with the letter due to the Elongated Muskrat), and there are some *amazing* names out there with X's in, so they should at least consider them. Scinax and Ixalus for instance are great. Ixalus has a fun history: originally it was coined as a replacement name for Orchestes, which wasn't available because there was already a beetle genus called Orchestes. But then it turned out that Ixalus was *also* not available, because the world's most beautiful antelope, the bongo, was already called Ixalus. Only, the bongo had already been called Tragelaphus. So now Ixalus isn't the name used for *any* animal. Ixalus is Greek, meaning 'bounding, springing, spry'. Also there are numerous other frog genera that use the ending -ixalus, such as Heterixalus, Micrixalus, etc.

But, taking the lack of X seriously, here are some other alternatives. I will avoid names that are derived from other people's names, and focus on names that have a neutral ring to my ear, and are also euphonious (nice to say or hear) and fewer than four syllables. I am also only considering genus names, because there are too many species names to choose from:

Acris — meaning sharp, sour, bitter, pungent, sharp, keen, acute, energetic, eager, etc. Technically this is the feminine version of the adjective; the neuter version is Acre, but I do not think anyone would read 'Acris' and immediately think either gender. It is supposed to be pronounced with a long a, as in 'hard', but a lot of people pronounce it with a hard a as in 'ace'. This name is most familiar to Americans, because Acris are cricket frogs, widespread in the US.

[Acris crepitans, src]

Mantis — of course, the genus Mantis was coined by Linnaeus in 1758, and so it is unambiguous that this is not a frog name. However, it is very often used as part of frog taxonomic names, such as Chiromantis, Boehmantis, Guibemantis, Gephyromantis, Phlyctimantis etc. Mantis is Greek (μάντης), and means oracle, prophet, soothsayer, seer, clairvoyant, or fortune teller. The name has the feminine gender in its language of origin, but that has no bearing on its use, which, barring the character in the Marvel movies, does not seem particularly gendered to me.

[Pristimantis cruentus, src]

Dasypops — simply a delightful name, but probably not neutral enough. I have not been able to figure out what the etymology is; it might be a play on Dasypus, the Greek word meaning 'rough-footed', which is a genus of armadillos. The frog is also spectacular, but there are no photos I can legally share on tumblr.

Kaloula — a euphonic name with an unclear meaning. Very round frogs. I love them.

[Kaloula pulchra, src]

Adelotus — means 'unseen'. These are 'tusked frogs'. Males have crazy extensions of lower jaw bones, and they fight with them.

[Adelotus brevis, src]

Taruga — a Sanskrit name meaning 'tree climber'. I fucking love this name, and the frogs are just *chef's kiss* POINTY, and have really committed to bold colours.

[Taruga eques, src]

EDIT: I have been informed that taruga means ‘blockhead’ or ‘numb skull’ in Spanish, so it might not be the best choice. Sorry!

If the nibling would like to check out a list of genera themselves, there is a tolerably complete list here.

I hope this helps!

[v3lnys]

my love, come back to me

Marco Bezzecchi/Celestino Vietti – 1.4k words

note: not very proud of this, but i wanted to write something not as detailed as i usually do :)

Bezz thinks it's a little hard to understand Cele sometimes. He thinks he should be good at it by now, growing up together and dating for a few years, but Cele can still be so enigmatic, a little closed off. It's not hard to guess the facile emotion he may be feeling, especially when Cele is sulking, it shows up fairly easily. But it's hard to get inside his brain, understand what caused it or how it really makes Cele feel, hard to understand what he's thinking, how he's dealing with it.

None of the guys really suspected anything, not even Bezz, not until Cele started drifting away, fading out of the picture by choice. They were a little too preoccupied with their own shit during the season, trying to make time for each other, but ultimately a little lost in their own stuff.

Bezz would check in, taking the feeble responses and excuses without much thought when he should've dug deeper. Cele always relents if he's persistent enough. And it's not like Cele was dying, or planning to, but he was almost withering away by the time Bezz grew concerned enough to pry. Bezz had every right to pry, that kind of came with the ordeal of a relationship and caring about someone, but Cele was more independent and Bezz was trying his best to respect it. In the end, he felt like maybe he respected it too much, it probably wouldn’t have gotten so bad with more insistent check-ins.

It wasn't until Bezz's routine started feeling void of the Cele shaped presence that he took a more physical approach than just texting and calls or facetime while Bezz cooked for himself and Rubik. One day Bezz just showed up at Cele's place, concerned with the slight reluctance he was met with when he brought up the proposal to come over.

Cele was never particularly tidy with his spaces, liked to keep them 'lived in', but this was just. Different. Dirty clothes on the floor, unmade bed, days old dishes waiting to be washed in the sink. Cele didn't look his best either. Paler than normal, curls wild and grown out, unshaved beard. It made Bezz's heart break, something in his chest tightening at the thought of Cele – his Cele – suffering in silence as they all went about their lives, taking his lackluster excuses at face value.

Bezz wanted to cry, but he couldn't. Not when Cele was fidgeting around like he should've even felt guilty about anything. He helped clean the place up, took the medication off Cele's nightstand with shaky hands. Bezz couldn't even read it properly, thought he really might cry if he read what it really was. But the bottles and weird names were telling enough, Bezz was somewhat familiar with it all. They prescribed him all kinds of different shit when he was having a hard time getting his head in order earlier in the season.

They showered together, Cele practically melting against Bezz's chest the whole time. It must've been so relieving, finally getting to bask in the physical contact, the closeness, the care. Bezz sat him down on the bathroom counter after, gently held Cele's face as he shaved his scruffy beard. It immediately made Cele look younger, a little more alive and Bezz could already see the life coming back to Cele's face, eyes. It was nice. Getting to take care of him, even if he should've done it sooner.

With the blinds wide open, the fall brightness filtering into Cele's apartment, everything was coming back to life. Bezz's boy was coming back to life. Coming back to him.

Cele wasn't that good with opening up about his feelings, clearly, but they talked about it, kind of. Cele was a little more lively after they ate, ordering take out because the kitchen pretty much only housed redbulls and ingredients that Bezz wasn't qualified enough to craft into a meal. They migrated to Cele's bed after, fresh sheets and all, Cele's head pillowed on Bezz's chest, talking quietly about it all, Bezz finally deciding to push a little. He wanted to understand.

A few weeks passed. The guys were clearly happy to have Cele around again, checked in more, Bezz could see that Cele liked it even if he didn't let on. He fucked his collarbone at the last race, Bezz made sure he was there to take care of him. They barely spent time apart, but it was good.

The season's over and they're pretty much glued together, apart from the occasion plans that Bezz's friends make and invite him along, Cele has his own stuff too. But they wake up together and they fall asleep together, they take Rubik out for walks. They meet up with the guys and it's good, it's normal again.

Cele is half on top of Bezz again, one arm around his waist, cheek squished against Bezz's pec. It's pretty fucking cold in Cele's apartment so it feels cozy to be like this, all tangled together like they're one creature. Bezz plays with the curly strands of Cele's dark hair, he thinks he really likes the length. Long, but not too wild. Cele doesn't have to wear the sling anymore, still, his doctor told him not to put too much stress on the injury. Bezz doesn't think Cele will listen to the doctors though.

They've been in this position for ages, talking and just. Enjoying each other. Rubik is sleeping in his fluffy dog bed and Bezz loves this, it feels so perfect and domestic that he could cry.

"Want to go for a walk?" he asks when they've been silent for a while.

"Yeah. Okay," Cele mutters an answer, but doesn't make any move to get up for a while, not until Bezz starts untangling their legs.

He's wearing Bezz's hoodie, soft and clearly loved, big on Cele just like it is on Bezz and everything about it just compels Bezz to draw him closer, kissing him easily, softly.

They go outside and it's cold, a little windy, already dark outside even though it's not even that late. Cele's wearing a light blue puffer jacket, celeste. It matches Bezz's, although his is camo print. They hold hands as they make their way through the quiet street, talking about whatever. Bezz doesn't remember the last time life felt so right.

The skatepark is empty even though it's not that cold yet. Bezz tugs Cele towards the tallest ramp, runs up and sits on the edge, waits for Cele to do the same. Cele tries, but doesn't gather enough momentum, slides back down and he laughs, bright and easy. It's so fucking nice. Hearing Cele laugh like this. The next time he succeeds, sits down beside Bezz and they're both smiling at each other, leaning towards each other for a kiss.

Bezz reaches into his pocket, there's a brand new pack of cigarettes, still in the plastic wrapping and all, that he bought this morning, intending to share with Cele. It's unhealthy, but it's almost like a treat now, not like a good few weeks ago when he was chainsmoking during the early stages of the whole recovery thing for Cele. It was hard. It's better now, so much better. They only smoke together, it’s easier to lose the habit that way.

His lighter has a little scorpion sticker on one side, a wave sticker on the other. Cele holds his cigarettes between his index and middle fingers, palm open – Bezz read somewhere that it must mean Cele's a dreamer. He thought that was fairly accurate. Bezz holds his cigarettes like they're a joint or something, Cele teases him for it. They hold hands, fingers intertwined and resting on Bezz's thigh.

The ashes fall down the ramp, the skaters will be fine, the wind will scatter them. When they slide down, they stand there for a moment and Cele starts rubbing his hands together, always running colder than Bezz. He takes Cele's hands and blows warm air on them, can smell the lingering smoke on their hands and it's kind of lovely, he finds that he likes the smell.

It's properly dark outside when they get back to Cele's apartment. Bezz puts on a shitty TV drama and they settle on the couch, Cele curling up against his side again like it's his natural position. Maybe it is because Bezz likes holding Cele, sharing kisses whenever he turns his head. Rubik is a warm, solid weight on the other side of Bezz. Cele plays with the frayed strings of Bezz's hoodie, something for his nervous hands to busy themselves with.

Life is good and Bezz really loves Cele. He loves him so much that he could never put it into words. But it's okay, they have some weird silent connection, Cele understands him and Bezz is starting to crack the deeper codes that reside in Cele's subconsciousness.

[brw]

From The Ashes, a ranking;

I'm bored and sick so thought I'd do my own little ranking of the From The Ashes books, because I've read basically all of them? I think I'm missing a few so I'll put those at the bottom without rankings because it would be unfair to judge them based on nothing.

Storm → great writing, great art, commentary on Krakoa and framing of it that I find very interesting, a series that absolutely deserves to go for as long as it needs to for Ayodele to tell his story.

Exceptional X-Men → honestly I could swap this with Storm and be just as happy. Absolutely great takes on Kitty and Emma that are definitely needed after how weird Krakoa was for both of them, and I LOVE the new kids she's introduced. Bronze especially is a little ray of sunshine, I love her.

X-Men → Pretty good! I've been enjoying reading it and it's clear MacKay has done his homework. Definitely a Cyclops book, which isn't my thing but his Scott is good enough that I don't complain about it, either. A strong flagship title for the current X-Men era, and I really like how he's set up the characters, albeit maybe has a bit of a bloated supporting cast.

Psylocke → I've been really enjoying this so far! Very nice art, I love all the work Wong does to flesh out her backstory and give her an unique antagonist, give her more of a supporting cast, I hope this run gets a full run because I think it's very deserving of it!

Mystique → I fucked with this. Don't want to spoil too much for anyone who hasn't read it but it's a great murder mystery vibe, I loved following the story and trying to guess what would happen in the next issue, and the twists were generally very well executed! Another very fun mini to look into, I had a good time reading it!

Sentinels → I wasn't expecting to like this so much but I really do! I enjoyed the narratives of disability in it, and I think it's an interesting mini that I hope will be built upon more later down the line.

Magik → Getting into the Meh category for me here, but if I was a big Magik fan I imagine it would be higher. As it is, it's alright; hasn't really grabbed me or inspired me to get into Magik more, which I think a solo should generally strive to do? But I like the way the magic plot and use differentiates it from Psylocke and Laura Kinney Wolverine, and the Darkchylde as almost an altar or something is very interesting to me.

Laura Kinney: Wolverine → Made completely redundant to be honest by the existence of Psylocke, a more interesting and frankly more necessary project than this book is. Other than being too similar, it's just solidly mid, but I wouldn't say it's bad, just kneecapped by being too similar to a better project coming out at the same time.

X-Factor → It's not particularly offensive, albeit I'm not a massive fan of any of the characters so if I was more invested I'd probably be more upset. The commentary isn't really well thought out, but it isn't offensive in the way NYX is. Solidly in the Meh category. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but it hasn't harmed me personally.

Dazzler → Just kind of embarrassing and woefully mediocre, don't really have anything substantial to say because it wasn't a substantial comic. Mid!

Uncanny X-Men → Not Good. Granted, I'm aware if I was a Rogue and Gambit fan, I'd probably like it more; as it is, it feels like a book made for X-Men '97 fans scared of comics, and not comic fans. Which wouldn't necessarily be a problem, if those 4 kids weren't so annoying, and more specifically, if Simone didn't clearly like the weird racist horse girl who stopped being racist immediately after Gambit told her to stop it the most. The nicknames I find incredibly grating and annoying, and the pacing is just bizarre. Rogue looks anywhere between incompetent and insane, and having a female villain's tragic origin be that she didn't have Charles' baby or whatever is such a choice. I don't like this book, BUT I concede a lot of my gripes are personal related to my dislike of the kids, and I see why RogueGambit fans like it.

X-Force → I actually stopped reading this after the first arc and first issue of the second arc, because it was one of the worst, most uncomfortably ableist things I've ever had to read. Genuinely upset me on a very deep, fundamental level, and I do not understand how on earth having a bunch of heroes beat up an autistic person made it past however many editors it takes to put these things on page. Awful book, needs to be canned and forgotten forever, but at least Forge looks hot I guess.

NYX → There's a lot that you can say about this book, but I think more than anything else, giving Kamala Khan, a very genuine contender for the most beloved Muslim character in pop culture, an evil racist terrorist cousin who tries to blow up a community center is one of the single most egregious things to ever be written, and it's cancellation is a net gain. Horrible book.

DID NOT READ HALL OF SHAME

Phoenix, Wolverine, Rogue: The Savage Land, Cable: Love and Chrome

Maybe these books are good, but none of them inspired me to go pick them up, so I won't include them.

So, yeah. I wanted to share my thoughts now that I think we're 10 months or so in to From the Ashes. While I do think there are a lot of complaints that can be made regarding bloat, redundant titles, unnecessary books, etc, there's also some really good and interesting titles as part of this launch, which I hope continue to grow as this era continues!

[thistlerock]

I don't think Fabian would be normal about wine. Actually. Yeah no sorry. Alcohol in general maybe but not wine. Yeah this is NEVER even hinted at and it doesn't seem to matter. I know. This is because we are watching a comedy dnd actual play show. Don't care. I will overthink the character if I want to. I will shamelessly project if I want to. Sorry if this one's weird lmao.

The growing up with a neglectful substance abusing parent situation is weird and complicated, but I think about it a certain way and I think Fabian would too. I think Fabian loves his mother, and I think he wants to respect her. I also think one of the first things he remembers associating with her as child is her wine, that he thought of her when he smelled it because that's what she smelled like. I think he is nineteen years old now and somewhere at some point it clicked that that shouldn't have been the main thing, not with his mother, but it always was. He's not necessarily bothered by that but something is off.

Weird topic for a tumblr post. Obviously this is not universal but if I were to put it into words it's that you don't think about it too much until you do, and then it's weird. It's not even upsetting most of the time it just feels weird. Because it's not like it made them do anything bad but it was a distraction and somewhere you're mad and somewhere you love your parent and somewhere you think it's not their fault because addiction is horrible and somewhere you question if they were really addicted or just didn't feel like stopping and then you feel bad for wondering, and then you're mad again, and then somewhere in there you don't even care that much? It wasn't that big of a deal. It's just that you try, eventually, and then you're like. Okay. I don't get why this was more important than me? And that's fucked. Because you still live in the same house. And then you look at your mother. And you think you might understand her a little less with every day you spend growing up.

On Fabian. This post is about Fabian. It's not like a big thing, idk. It's just a passive dislike of it. An avoidance he's not aware of, and then he becomes aware of it and stops avoiding it, and then he feels a little bothered. It's oh, they didn't fully get rid of the stash Hallariel had, just moved it. He knows and he kind of ignores it, because there is nothing else to do? (She seems to know as well but she doesn't seem particularly tempted nowadays. For how long it went on she took quitting comparatively well. She is immortal, so maybe it wasn't that long to her? Was that really just one big bender? Could she have stopped whenever she wanted to?) (What a weird question to ask.)

And then it's oh, Fig is talking about some elvish wine her mother brought and the brand sounds so familiar. She says it tastes nice? Alcohol doesn't usually taste good, and you don't drink it for the taste you drink it to get drunk, anyway. He thinks that's odd but he doesn't say anything. Later he thinks about how he's never had wine before. (Because he doesn't drink outside of parties. And wine at parties is weird. So if he's getting drunk ((because that's what you do with alcohol)) at a party ((because that's what you do at parties)) he's not getting drunk on wine.) (If his insight was better maybe something would click but it isn't, so it doesn't.) At their next movie night at mordred manor someone offers him a sip so he takes one.

It's sweet and then it's bitter. He doesn't really like it, but then he doesn't dislike it either. He thinks it's okay, but he wonders if this is the right brand because surely this could not have been worth it.

He doesn't say anything about it but the next time he sees his mother something feels kind of off, and he never seeks it out himself but if someone offers him wine he always says yes. He never develops a taste for it but part of him wishes he would. And that's weird. He doesn't get why he's so weird about it.

As with most of these things, he doesn't talk about it. It'd be weird to talk about. It's weird to be typing out. Headache.

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

hi to chrom hater anon i'm a professional chrom enjoyer

if you get deranged enough about awakening i think chrom is a very well done character :) he's ignorant but well meaning which meshes in interesting ways. he's not overtly prejudiced to the plegians he knows personally but still *generally* prejudiced because of his upbringing.

additionally in discussions of the ylisse-plegia war he tends to focus on how ylisse came away from it because that state of ylisse is what shaped his formative childhood years (seen particularly in his feelings about emmeryn's early years as exalt). this is UNDERSTANDABLE but still an extremely DEEPLY FLAWED and naive stance when doing politics on a larger scale, which chrom is incredibly ill-prepared for. it's a very childish view of a large scale conflict.

chrom's propensity for violence is a trait that actually deeply fascinates me. he has intense admiration for emmeryn's desire for peace yet he has a very short temper in tense situations (seen in basically all of chrom's interactions with gangrel), and he tends to lash out easily at anyone he views as an enemy. he admires peace but sees no other means to achieve it than violence. isn't that interesting. the implications here. like, he's the inheritor of the falchion, he's the only son in his family, in all likelihood it was expected that HE would take the throne and continue his father's war, but he was so young when the exalt passed that the crown went to emmeryn instead.

it really seems like emmeryn intentionally kept her siblings away from politics, which results in BOTH of them being naive in vastly different ways, with the expectation that she would always shoulder the burden of the crown yet left all the bigger a void when she died.

mind, intentionally being raised to behave this way isn't an excuse either. it's ultimately still something chrom, as an adult, SHOULD examine critically. this is, in fact, a character flaw, and i think its great.

you can then of course do nice little compare and contrast at the shitty dads, i.e. chrom's dad vs validar. robin's first act as an awakened god is murdering validar. robin became the monster everyone saw them as, the one their father thinks they were born to be. it's a neat lil nature vs nurture comparison if you really get into the depths of grima-ology (hi grima ✌️ mutuals).

to dig more into points the chrom hater anon makes.

"chrom is transphobic for killing excellus" do you hear yourself. excellus was an enemy commander. chrom has no personal grievances against the commanders other than they are part of the army with the known intent to raze ylisse.

SAME WITH ROBIN BURNING DOWN THE BOATS. THEY ARE AT WAR. IF ROBIN DIDNT DO THAT THEY'D ALL GET KILLED. they would have to fight the valm forces ON FOOT and BE KILLED VIOLENTLY because they are vastly outnumbered. it would be weird if he WASN'T at least happy about this.

he could stand to be regretful about the massive loss of human life but honestly hashtag robin warcrimes W.

"chrom makes sure to only recruit white ylisseans" i think this is just dev colorism actually. like you know how robin's dad (who is evil) is brown, but robin (who is good) is white? and how that makes no sense and robin should logically also be brown? i dont think chrom would've turned down if like, mustafa joined him. it is simply that intsys was still in their racism era (which is, tbh, only really ended with engage, like, cmon, look at literally all of FE, this isn't a chrom flaw, it's a FE being racist flaw.)

same with the sexism things actually FE is just homophobic and sexist a lot so all the characters are also by extension. this is called doylist analysis

Chrom tells Aversa "One person's life means nothing in the shadow of millions" Chrom is a hypocrite i hope this helps. additionally what aversa is doing is "help the dark god literally causing the apocalypse rn" whereas the sacrifice/save robin choice is "doom people in some hypothetical far off future" which is FAR less personal than "all of humanity RIGHT NOW".

TLDR: the real chrom enjoyers know about his character flaws and love him anyway because it's nice flavor to chew on

also never insult my beautiful daughter lucina ever again. she is deeply compelling even if she is narratively underutilized. anyone who calls themself a chrom fan and hates lucina is a faker and will not survive the winter.

also learn the difference between flaws of the story's writing and flaws of the character otherwise everybody in awakening is sexist.

anon you should read chrom/grima fanfiction unironically we fucking love tearing this dude to shreds for his flaws. this has all been a ploy to say that. chrom is naive and selfish and hypocritical and i love him very much he is my wif e :)

.

[foxglovepng]

Random Head cannons 2 🌼🥀

Characters: Savanaclaw + Octavinelle

CW: Mentions of first years, Leona accidentally commits arson, Ruggie is a klepto, platonic bromances with first years, little bit of violence in ruggie's, mentions of ED and body hcs in Azuls, mentions of slight nudity in Floyd's.

A/N: These two dorms are relatively small so I combined both into one post. Scarabia and Pomefiore will be condensed into one post as well.

Likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated <3 hope you enjoy!

Leona

MY MAN <3 me and Leona are married Crewel officiated our marriage. (I literally don't know what headcannons to give this man HELP)

I like to think because he is a prince all the staff did everything for him so him changing to NRC and not having any retainers I can imagine he tried cooking once and almost set the dorm on fire.

He had to adjust to doing normal things himself since they were always done for him so I can imagine he STRUGGLED when Ruggie wasn't there (Unless he paid someone to do laundry for him before Ruggie than idk)

Off topic but I saw this one post and it was like "It's okay to commit murder but never okay to hit your wife." yeah that's Leona.

He'd hype his wife up in a fight and when asked he'd be like "I was taking a nap"

(How do you fall asleep in 3 seconds sir teach me your ways it takes me hours to fall asleep)

He can also get high on catnip btw

Ruggie

My favorite klepto freeloader

I can imagine first year Ruggie stealing from a particularly rich person and he goofed up badly Leona stepped in and beat them up and was like Bruh how do you fuck that up I am not helping you the next time you fail.

So *sips tea* even Ruggie has said himself his jaw is strong enough to where he can bite through bone and he can eat the bones too. Ruggie is a little terrifying because is Jaw is insanely strong (Stronger than jack and Leona's combined) so Ruggie could bite someone out of defense to break their arm and his jaw would survive. I think he figured this out once because he had to defend himself either because he got into a fight or someone attacked him and he bite them breaking their bone nearly ripping their arm off.

Between Floyd and Ruggie I'd rather not get bit by either :skull:

Jack

I can imagine first years as a bonding activity go to the gym together from an admiration point Jacks body build is really nice he's a buff guy and he's proud of it so I can imagine he gives tips to the others especially Epel and Deuce.

I also can imagine Ace trying to do a push up or a rep competition (He's not winning). Jack and Sebek end up winning.

Weird head cannon but I can imagine locker room talk between the first years is them admiring Jacks body build in a platonic bro way if anyone else does it Ace is running his mouth on them :skull: "Damn jack you seem to be getter buffer every day" Jack shows no emotion on his face but he's secretly happy to be receiving the compliments

Azul

I like to think he still has a bit of a tummy. It is implied that he has have an ED due to being bullied and an ED is something really sad to think about as much as I don't want to admit it I believe he may have one :(

His parents are divorced and I think he considers his step dad his "real dad". Now I don't know if he gets visitation, but basically in his mind he already replaced his deadbeat dad (I named him Liam because of a tik tok)

Ursula Canonically has a younger sister named Morgana so with this logic I want to say Azul as a half-brother who is an Affair baby. (I say half because biologically if you share a same mother you are technically full, but because Liam is his bio dad and he had another son it's half) and because of Morgana's character I think Azul wants to get to know his brother however I think his brother despises him and refuses too. New oc coming up.

Jade

Moray Eels have shitty vision so Jade wears glasses at night but contacts in the day. Floyd has glasses but chooses not to wear them Jade most likely tries to convince him to wear contacts 50% of the time he doesn't.

My favorite head cannon about Pookie Jade is he grows poisonous flowers and Poisonous flowers are one of my favorite interests. He likes to grow Oleander, Belladonna (Deadly Nightshade), and Azaelea. I feel like if he had a better greenhouse he can grow poisonous shrooms as well. (NOW I'm not saying he kills people, but Mafia theory people)

Floyd

Whenever Octo trio go swimming in a public place or at a beach, lake, etc. Floyd accidentally flashes people and almosst got charged with Public indecency many times so he's been banned from swimming in public.

Shrimps and Moray's have symbiotic relationship so I can imagine if he takes a liking to someone and names them his Shrimpy I bet he'd get real happy if they groomed him via brushing his hair, cleaning him up, etc. He'd give them food and would be their protecter by default in short he'd be down bad.

I wouldn't be surprised if he has ended up in Juvie before and probably has but got bailed out.

[hikariyuushiart]

Elevator Girl and Mr. Gap

Admittedly, of all the residents in the Ghost Apartments, Mr. Gap wasn't particularly the Elevator Girl's favorite. She never found Mr. Gap's requests for body parts to be particularly funny or amusing, though Mr. Gap always seemed to think otherwise. She still couldn't understand what he did with them.

At least with things like fingers or hearts, she could assume he might eat those, seeing as most residents seemed to live off a meat and blood diet. But what of his request for hair? What did he do with that? Or were those sort of requests only for when he actually wanted to do something nice for free, but couldn't bring himself to do it without being weird about it?

Either way, he was a tough resident to pin down. As such, he was usually close to last on her route. Sometimes she wouldn't see him at all. Or, more inconveniently, he'd find her while she was still in the living world, and she'd end up panicking trying not to get him caught talking to her. It was more for her own safety than his, as he could easily slip away while she had to deal with any consequences.

Today, he'd caught her just as she was about to enter the hallways that led to the elevator. She'd just left Mr. Hood behind, as he knew as well as she did by now that there would be no more hostiles from this point forward. Whether or not he thought Mr. Gap was a 'hostile' was still unclear. The Elevator Girl wasn't even sure if the two had formally met yet.

But before she knew it, she caught sight of him through a broken -- filter? vent? -- and approached him with a slight roll to her eyes.

"Hello again, Mr. Gap. What you want?" she asked in a lightly exasperated tone, right hand holding the handle of the nearly empty wagon while her left hand rested on her hip.

The mischievous gremlin grinned as he pulled out a magazine from the darkness. "Fun lots of paper~."

She sighed, "Of course. Another article from the supernatural gossip. Who would've guessed? And what do you want for it this time?" She crossed her arms, giving him an un-amused look. "Again. What you want?"

He held out his open left hand expectantly. "Two finger."

"Really? You're going to ask me for that sort of thing NOW?" she groaned, rubbing the back of her head underneath her cap. Luckily, thanks to Silvair's research, she'd long since learned that while she was in this 'other world', it was possible for her to regenerate fairly quickly. She'd attempted to do some light testing back in the realm of the living, but it seemed like her healing factor returned as soon as she was back in the real world, even if she was still in the Ghost Apartments.

"One finger," she haggled, watching as Mr. Gap's face turned from giddiness to slight annoyance.

"One finger...?" he repeated, mulling over her counter-offer. But eventually his mood seemed to lighten a bit. The Elevator Girl could only assume he was happy that anyone was willing to humor his offer at all.

"One finger. Give," he insisted, to which she sighed and looked away while offering up her left hand to the hole in the wall.

"Just because I agreed to this doesn't mean I'm happy about it..." she huffed. But she also knew that, more often than not, the articles and information that Mr. Gap ended up finding was usually helpful information. Other times, it was just him bragging about his infamy as a spooky ghost.

With a flinch, a yelp, and a bloody snap, her left index finger was gone. Although she didn't need to, she quickly grabbed a small roll of gauze to cover the gaping wound. Even if it would regenerate quickly enough, she still didn't want to risk getting blood on her clothes right now. Her tear-filled eyes narrowed slightly at Mr. Gap in annoyance.

"Alright, you've got your payment. What is it you want to show me?" she asked. And as soon as she did, Mr. Gap flipped the page open, revealing an article about 'the man with the red umbrella'. She stepped a little closer, attempting to read it in the dim light.

At first, she thought it nothing new. The rumors and the ghost stories that were spreading about Mr. Scarletella were old hat by now. But what WAS new was a theory about how his story originated.

Apparently there was speculation that he was a man who used to live in the area, known for his red umbrella. A friendly foreigner who people didn't mind seeing, but would never really approach or try to befriend. Some people claim to still see him to this day.

Others claim he was a ruthless landlord who drained tenants dry, killing those who couldn't pay rent to sate his own twisted bloodlust.

It did have the gears turning in the Elevator Girl's head. Silvair did speculate that a good chunk of the residents in the Ghost Apartments were all human once. Their lives had been long forgotten, including his own, but that didn't mean the living world completely forgot them. Perhaps Scarletella was also one of those.

"You like? Happy?" he asked as she finally leaned back with a small sigh and reluctant smile.

"...I like. Oh, and here..." She pulled out a handmade pamphlet of notes she'd taken on the Ghost Apartments' language, handing it to Mr. Gap. "You want learn my language, correct?"

Mr. Gap was more than pleased to receive the handwritten pamphlet, grinning ear to ear as he nodded to her in response.

"Thank you! Thank you! I leave! See you again!"

And that was the last she saw of him for the day. She'd sigh, silently rolling back forward through the corridors. She'd stick around long enough for her finger to grow back before finally heading into the elevator to exit back to her own world.

[everydayyoulovemeless]

Day 29: ↠ Wiseman

➼ Word Count » 1.1k ➼ Warnings » none ➼ Genre » Romantic

Diamond City hadn't ever been particularly cruel to you. The residents welcomed you with open arms and friendly smiles, beckoning you further into their fair city, and you followed. You graciously accepted the empty bed they offered, and the rent it cost. Anything was better than sleeping in a stained sleeping bag out in the waste, so who were you to complain?

You integrated with them easily, taking up a job and finally being able to make something of your life.

It felt nice being able to go to something you found so familiar. You never imagined that you'd ever miss the feeling of waking up early and heading off to work. Nothing beats the nostalgia you felt when you followed that same gruelingly familiar path you'd acted out so many times before. You missed your life and all the pains that came with it.

Piper had taken a liking to you early on. Whether it be because you helped get her back into the grand settlement or because you were a gold mine of content for her news stories. Either way, she made it a habit of following you around. Any chance she got, she was by your side, asking you questions and offering to buy you drinks. So, when she caught wind of the ghost stories surrounding The Slog, it wasn't a surprise you were the first she went to tell. Which is what you are doing there now. Investigating. Going to see for yourself if the myths whispered about it were true or not.

You'd only been here for a day but, you didn't think it was so bad. At least not as bad as how you'd heard it being described. It was peaceful, and the ghouls who resided here were kinder than most.

"Not sleeping? Don't tell me we scare you." Wiseman teased, slowly approaching where you sat cross-legged on the side of the pool.

You turned to face him in surprise when you heard his voice echo lightly off the concrete. "No, no! It's nothing like that." You promised, watching as he moved to sit beside you, "It's just hard to find nights like this."

The moon glowered brightly, illuminating as much as it could reach in the ever-darkening sky above. It had to have been late by now, and as you glanced down at your pip-boy you noticed that it was, in fact, 12:29.

You would've been leaving the bar around this time. At least on Friday, you would be. Now look at you. Sitting at the edge of a pool, surrounded by radiation and faces you never would've met if it weren't for the bombs. A part of you felt a weird sense of joy. Despite all the suffering and pain the war had rained down on you and the family you once had, you found it hard to claim that it was all negative.

"It's hard to beat." He spoke softly, following your gaze to the sky. "It's one of the reasons I like it out here so much. Closer to nature and all. You don't hardly get things like that in Goodneighbor. It's all too deep in the city."

"I don't blame you."

A comfortable silence filled the air between you as you both continued to stare at the sky. Well, you continued to stare up at the sky. Wiseman sent subtle glances in your direction throughout most of it.

"Isn't that mine?" He asked, tugging lightly at the coat you wrapped around yourself.

"Ah, well, yeah..." You trailed off, slightly embarrassed that you were caught wearing his clothes. "You can have it back if you want. I just didn't have anything else to put on."

He breathed out an amused breath, "Keep it. Fits you better anyway."

"Ar-Are you sure? I don't want to take anything away from you guys... it was just the first thing I saw."

"I'm sure." He said, continuing to smile, "I don't use it much anymore anyway. You'd get better use out of it."

You nodded, looking away from him and down at the tarberries growing in the pool.

"Why'd you decide to come here, anyway? Don't imagine many people hold us in high regard."

You shrugged, "A friend mentioned it. Besides, it was about time for me to hit the road again. The city gets suffocating after a while."

He chuckled in response, leaving a warm feeling to spread across your body at the sound.

"You're from Diamond City, aren't you?"

You nodded, shifting your body slightly. You doubted they saw the settlement in a positive light and it worried you that he may look down on you for staying there.

Wiseman hummed, "It's a fine place to live."

"Yeah, I think so."

The silence between the two of you didn't last long as he rested his calloused hand on the side of your face, gently pulling your gaze back onto his own. His mouth contorted into a subtle smile before slowly pulling you closer, not stopping until his lips met your own.

"Don't be a stranger." He muttered to you as he pulled away, "The Slog is as much your home as it is mine."

"Yeah.. thanks." You spoke quietly, staring stupidly at the ghoul as you did your best to will your heart rate down.

He let out an amused huff at your expression before turning to stare at the sky again. Somewhere in the middle of that, he'd managed to snake his arm around your shoulders and rub at them tenderly, still sensing how cold you were.

You leaned yourself into him at the action, appreciating the warmth he provided as you continued to admire the nature The Slog presented to you. The atmosphere left you in just as much of a trance as the ghoul beside you did.

[writing-with-gremworm]

A Bothersome Herbivore

I'm not sure when it happened, this tiny herbivore started clinging to me. It's hard to get a break since they follow me everywhere. When I nap, they nap beside me. When I eat, they follow along. Though, the latter is better than the time they slept so soundly I was able to leave them for a few days. When I went back to my normal napping spot they were sitting like a dejected mouse. They had teary little eyes, and their complexation was terrible.

I learned later that they slept through lunch, so they ended up just not eating the first day, and they refused to move during the weekend when I hadn't retuned yet. The worst part about it is they were so happy when I came back. They were like a stupid dog, so happy to cling to me again.

I let them be for a while. It wasn't really my problem, and they didn't actually bother me most of the time. They were surprisingly quiet.

"Why exactly do you follow around like a lost dog?"

"I dunno. I just like you. So, I stay with you, because you're safe."

It was weird. I shouldn't be safe for them. I'm just a lousy second prince with nothing in my future but disappointment. I am, and will always be, second best in the eyes of anyone else, so why is it that this creature clings to me? I still don't understand it.

The thing that irks me the most is that I started to worry about them. I woke up from a nap as usual, expecting them to be beside me. They weren't there. The little mouse had scurried off somewhere and that made me uneasy.

"This is bullshit."

I must have done so subconsciously, but I ended up looking around the places I usually went, expecting to find them there. I only found them when I returned to the greenhouse. They were sitting, waiting for me to come back.

"Leona!" They sounded so happy, their eyes lighting up as if the best person in the world was standing right in front of them.

"Ah." I had so many questions, but none of them mattered. 'Why did you wait? Where did you go? Are you okay?' They were here, so why did it matter?

We returned to routine. But one thing did change. I started leaning on them. I don't know if they noticed, they never mentioned it to me. This change ... felt necessary.

In time it felt stranger to be separate from them than to be near them. In a way, I guess I must have found them comforting too. So, it felt strange when one day, they started crying.

"What's with the tears?" I asked, not really expecting an answer.

"I don't know. I just- I." They sobbed quietly, sniffling and rubbing their eyes. They tried so hard to calm down, only to sob more. It hurt, hearing them quiet their sobs. I felt like I saw a bit of myself in them. Maybe that's why I spoke up.

"Don't force it, just sob okay?" It was a useless comment. They would probably cry for a while anyways. They did stop trying to choke back their sobs, though they kept sobbing quietly, as if they forgot how to cry loudly.

"I'm scared. I don't know if I want to go home or stay here. I feel unwanted either way. I don't know if anyone would miss me if I left, of if anyone in my world even realizes I'm gone. I'm terrified because it doesn't matter which world I choose. I'll be alone again in either world."

A beat.

Right, they needed to go home eventually. They weren't from this world. I forgot that somehow. Unlike Yuu, who was social, this one wasn't particularly close to anyone. Except maybe ... me.

"Oh? Aren't I right here? Do you think I'll forget you because you vanish for a little?"

"I-I ... I thought you were annoyed by me."

"Then why would I let you cling to me? I could have actively ignored you."

"But you ... you left me alone and I ..."

"So? People can change their minds. I'm not running from you anymore, so don't go running from me, okay?"

"Heh, hehehehe."

"Why are you laughing?"

"Sorry I just- I didn't expect you to say something like that. It's so sweet."

"Don't get used to it."

"Hehe, I know. I'm just ... Thank you."

"... It's fine."

Things were nice after that. We returned to routine.

Or, as close to routine as possible. I found myself gazing at them for longer than I intended. If they were still asleep when I was up, I would pick them up. If they were hungry, we'd eat early, or I'd get Ruggie to buy us snacks.

'Fuck.' I had fallen for them. It was confusing. They weren't particularly pretty, or smart, or even useful. Even so, I found them undeniably breathtaking. I couldn't look away from them.

It was juvenile, but I couldn't help but touch their hand. Just to feel their skin against mine. I wanted to kiss their forehead, to hold them in my arms, to claim them.

I'm no idiot. I know I'm handsome, I know my position, though lesser than my brother's, is coveted. I understand that being a member of royalty limits my options for love. Despite everything, I wanted them to stay with me. If nothing else, I just wanted to continue our days like this. The litte moments of warmth, their laughter, their joy. I wanted to bask in it.

When did my world stop being gray?

No, not my world. Just them.

It's still hard to justify waking up, to find a reason to move forward every day. But even still, I want to be selfish and be beside them. I wonder if this is what it means to feel safe with someone.

"I'm going to graduate this year. You've still got a few years left."

"... Yeah ..." They smile sadly.

"Come to me. When you finish. Find me, and I'll have a napping spot ready to share." It was a stupid promise. They might be blocked from my side. They might not even be able to understand me outside of school property.

But I think their smile was worth it.

--

"You've been sulking in that window every day, brother." A grating voice says, a smirk decorating the words.

"So what?" I glare, irritated by the interruption. I come to this window whenever I think about them. It seems like a spot they'd like. Or maybe they just liked me. Maybe after all this time they forgot me. It would be better that way. For them to forget me, they can live a different life, instead of being tied to the second prince.

"I was just worried. How can I not worry a little when you're my brother?"

"Piss off."

"Ah, I see you don't want company. Should I send your visitor away?" My ears twitch. It's rare I receive visitors. It's even rarer my 'perfect' brother bothers to tell me about them.

"A visitor? Haiz. I have enough sense not to turn visitors away." I shift, hopping down from the window ledge.

My heart is beating faster than I would like. It seems like my chest is going to burst at this rate. It will be disappointing if it's not them, so I shouldn't keep my hopes up.

"Leona?" A familiar voice chimes as I enter the room. They smile warmly at me and walk over, looking at me somewhat reluctantly.

"I'm surprised you actually came here." I hold out my hand. They take it carefully and I pull them into a hug, "Welcome home." I add with a whisper.

They tear up, hugging me tightly.

"Yeah, I'm home." They mutter. They feel warm in my arms. They feel like the keystone of an arch, holding me together despite being so small.

'So, I still love you.' I think to myself, closing my eyes and forcing myself not to do too much. I want to give them soft kisses, I want to whisk them to my room and cuddle with them. I want to tell them how much I love them. But the words don't leave my throat. I can't love them, not as a royal.

"Well, isn't this a nice reunion." That ruined it.

"And you're still here because? This is my guest. I thought you'd leave." I hiss, glaring at my brother.

"There's no need to be hostile. I'm just surprised you have someone close to you."

"Oh? Thanks, I didn't realize I needed to tell you these things."

"I'm not chastising you, I'm glad. Really. Ah, I should probably introduce myself to your lover."

"Lover?"

"Lover?"

"Are you two not? Ah, I'm sorry for misunderstanding." He doesn't sound even slightly apologetic.

"I-It's fine."

"... This is my brother. That's it, don't worry about getting close to him."

"Oh- okay." They smile sadly.

"Well this does complicate things a little. I had just convinced the elders to let you have your lover join you here. But if they're not your lover, then I'll have to clear that up."

"That won't be necessary. It'll be more convenient if everyone assumes we're lovers anyways." 'Though I'm not particularly fond of receiving help from you, I won't turn it away when it benefits me.'

"S-So then- Do I- have to pretend to be your lover?" They seem surprised, their face flushed a bit. It's cute. It makes me want to lick their cheeks and nibble on their ear.

"No, just act like before. Us spending so much time together will get the point across."

"Oh! Okay." They nod, seeming perhaps a little disappointed.

"Last time we spoke, I promised to have a napping spot pick out for us. I think I found one. Though, you'll have to sit on my lap if you want to lean on me." The window ledge wasn't wide enough to sit side by side unless you laid against the window.

'This spot is chosen partially out of my selfishness. If nothing else, then I can hold you tightly. Not that you need to know my reasoning.'

"That's okay. If you're okay with it, I mean. I've always kind of wanted to hug you when napping." They admit wanting to cuddle closer.

'I wonder.'

I pick them up, cupping their rear as they cling to me. They seem a bit surprised.

"W-We could just walk there-"

"We are walking there. What? Did you never wonder how I carried you before?"

"I never thought about it- This is embarrassing. I could just walk with you."

"Hm, no. You clung to me this long, cling to me more, won't you?"

"Leona." They whine.

I can't help but chuckle a little. This was warm. It felt nicer than just remembering them.

"Hey, do you love me?"

"What? I mean- yes. You're the closest person I have."

"I mean, romantically, sexually. How, do you love me?"

"T-This is very sudden- and I don't know how to answer- aah."

"That's fine. We've got plenty of time." I sit down, letting them situate themselves on my lap as we sit by the window. I wrap my arms around their waist, and rest on my chin on their shoulder.

"You're more affectionate than I remember."

"Well, I have to make up for the missed nap time cuddles somehow, right?"

"What? Hah, hahaha. Sure, let's go with that. Leona. I missed you."

"Yeah ... me too."

"I never thought you'd admit it ... so ... the question."

"Do you love me?"

"Yeah, that one ... was it, because you love me?"

"Yeah."

"W-wait really? Um! How so?"

"Hm, I'll tell you after you tell me. I did ask first."

"Hahaha, okay, that's fair." They lean into me, resting against my chest, relaxing in my arms. We sit there for a while, just enjoying each other's company. It doesn't really matter how they answer. We'll stay beside each other anyways. I can tell that much. They wouldn't have found me if they didn't intend to stay.

"Hey ... Leona ..."

"Yeah?"

They turn their head and move so their mouth is close to my ear before whispering their answer. Perhaps embarrassed, or worried that telling me loudly would hurt me. Regardless, the action was cute.

"I'm not sure. I've never felt anything like this before. I've never had the chance. So, I may not get it right the first time. I don't know what type of love this is."

"Okay, then let's figure it out together." I've waited this long, waiting a little longer should be fine. Besides, I'm with them now, so that is enough.

[theatricalsorrow]

Overall?? Did not like rvb restoration. Thoughts under the cut

There's so many questions that are just left in the air by what happened and I def felt like there was some mischaracterization stuff.

-I Knew Sarge was going to die, if anyone was going to it was going to be him. I had felt all right about his death initially?? But then the end just. Grif leaving made it lose inpact?? "I always believed in you and knew you could be better" and then he just leaves? After all the things they've been through and he doesn't turn around and stay? Just made it feel meaningless.

- Grif was so angry??? Why was he so angry??

-Doc being dead with zero explanation to that and him just being a haunting of Wash was uhhhh??? Bad

- Donut didn't even exist except as a 5 second memory flash pissed me off so bad. Where was my boy???

-Why the fuck would everyone have just left Wash alone in that facility. No ones been checking up on him and trying to take care of him? Help him out? Cool cool cool. Carolina def would've been making sure he's okay and you know the reds and blues care too but whatever

- What was Carolina even doing if she wasn't with Wash or the Reds and Blues. What could've been so important that she wasn't with her family as she has stated they are to here-

- Love (sarcastic) that Lopez didn't exist after the first 5 minutes

- only things I thought were particularly satisfying was A) Tex coming back because my friend, my partner, and I were all excited screaming when we realized what was happening and that was so fucking hype. And B) I'm glad she got a good ending with Church there. That was also nice to see them walk away holding hands, and I felt a lot about it.

-Mad that her and Carolina didn't get to even talk though cause of course they didn't. Carolina didn't even question why she was there and that's a real "okay but why didn't you question that?" Feeling.

-Tucker existing almost not at all because he was Meta the whole time and then he didn't even get to talk to everyone/wasn't there like Caboose was to say bye to Grif

- The Brief existentance of Dr. Grey had made me think Wash was just hallucinating here cause she also felt like she wasn't herself

-Of course Chorus was immediately sidelined

-Locus not even mentioned (fucking Felix got mentioned but not Locus, damn -_-)

- This is a said lightheartedly (but also with feeling), but 21 year slow burn of Grimmons still ended in nothing. Couldn't even give us that one.

- I think that hour-twenty time run shot them I the foot. It could've been something good, but it just felt unsatisfying in the end. It was just Meh. Not the worst thing they could've made, but damn it could've been much better.

I just think it's also weird they said they were de-canonizing 14-18 and then they made references to stuff in those seasons and it felt weird. But whatever, they did what they did. I'm gonna go do a rewatch of other stuff cause I want to see better content again ahdjsjsj

Edit: I have more to say-

-Where was Freckles? Yeah there was confetti gun but I (could be misremembering) did not hear any freckles voice lines?? He's in Caboose's gun?? Where was he?

Just watching it made me feel like I missed an entire season. Like there was supposed to be a season between end of 13 and Restoration but there isn't and wasn't supposed to be. The fact that it's been several months since Tucker went missing and nobody tried to go find him?? Or reach out either?? That just seems weird too. Idk man it just felt off and like everything was to the left a couple inches the whole time

[idiotlovesongs]

i wanna talk about being latino (mexican and colombian) in bandom, specifically being a fan of ptv.

as we all know, bandom is so very fucking white. sure you can go looking for specifically poc bands, but the majority of the popular bands are white with one or two people of color in the band and they are either white passing or get treated fucking weirdly by fans because white fans don't know how to interact with their poc idols normally (not that they interact with their white idols normally but it's a bad weird when it comes to poc).

most bands are sexualized but with ptv it felt particularly gross in the way it was tied to the fact that they were mexican. they were and are hot, don't get me wrong, but did the term sexican have to be so fucking popularized?? the fact that they were latinos was really fetishized in a way that white artists really didn't get. i remember someone talking about how the only reason they got a girlfriend in middle school was because in between getting called a beaner and a wetback, she was also called a sexican. it gave emo and alt people almost a right to fetishize latinos, specifically mexicans. and emo latinos just had to sit and take it because it was the only love we really got from such a largely white fanbase. a lot of memes around them (at least the ones that i remember, the ones that stuck with me) were kind of racist and stereotyped them. not to say ptv didn't make those kind of jokes from time to time, but it's different when it's coming from your own people rather than some person on the internet who is probably white.

i really fucking love ptv. it was so nice to finally look and see someone like me up on stage playing music for you. it was nice getting recognition from other people that we could also fucking do that. it gave us something to be. and i grew up around a lot of poc, but i always identified more with fandom spaces and bandom cause i was a weird emo child with a fucked up sense of sexuality and gender. i experienced that sense of other from my irl community and then in bandom spaces because most people were white. i wasn't totally conscious of the effects until i noticed in my writing that all my characters (and i do mean all) were white. Do you know how embarrassed I felt? How ashamed I felt? How it still feels so fucking shitty? that shit sticks with you. how is it that i was so entrenched in a white community that i forgot that i existed? that people like me existed. ptv really helped pull me out of that.

rpf is bandom was and is a big thing. if you were gay or questioning in middle school and you were emo, you read rpf. that's just how it fucking goes. i read maybe like one or two from bands that i liked, but the ones that i fucking devoured involved vic fuentes. yeah most of the writers were white and fetishized him, but it was still nice to have someone there that looked like me. idk if other poc can relate to this, but i always feel super uncomfortable walking into a room and have there be only white people. it makes you feel alienated as fuck. having vic and the rest of ptv in these digital spaces made me feel less alone subconsciously. again, this works were definitely a little racist and homophobic but i wasn't super picky back then and i had yet to unpack some internalized issues.

a little sidenote that i've noticed is that people talk about gender envy a lot when it comes to white members in bandom, but i've seem almost no one talk about it when it comes to ptv. maybe i'm just on the wrong side of tumblr, but i've very rarely seen someone say shit about ptv giving them gender envy and they are so fucking gender. literally fuck y'all. the day another white twink gives me gender envy is a cold day in hell. i went to mexico and got it so fucking often because i finally saw what my actual fucking face could be. i saw my features on guys and wanted to fucking crawl into their skins just to see how it would feel. and the gender euphoria i got at everyone saying i looked just like my dad was literally unreal. and yeah i got told i was the female version but it was so fucking close. i felt like i could fucking taste it. tangent over.

this is not to say ptv were always amazing and helpful to the community. i mean, they definitely catered to a white audience. i still remember watching their music videos and wondering why all the actors were white. they were the only poc in most of their old music videos. i particularly took note of the fact that there were poc in the music video of pass the nirvana because they quite literally had none before. i still remember the day i watched bulls in the bronx and wondering why they didn't have latinos in a music video for a song that was so tied to their latin roots. i get that latinos come in all different shades, but they are always picking the palest shade?? come on.

and i acknowledge that ptv probably didn't have control of the actors chosen for their mvs, but it still demonstrates the issues in bandom and how even in their own music videos they are kind of othered. i know if i was in a band, i would at least try to push for one actor to be visibly latino or some other poc. but like i said, they could very well just have no control over this and it's someone else pulling the strings for their music videos. it just felt kind of shitty to look at their music videos and see that even their they were the only latinos in the space.

sidenote, being latino and emo is fucking hard. being emo is seen as a white thing and, if your peers don't make fun of you, your family and community sure fucking will. i was in mexico and had my hair dyed bright red (which is admittedly an attention grabber) and you have no idea the amount of stares i got in my dad's pueblo. kids, parents, grandparents, everyone looks at you and stares. i'm sure this isn't specific to latinos, but i'm talking about my personal experience. my uncle, who had admittedly been kind of creepy and weird, kind of stopped interacting with me as much when i got my hair colored, when it became very visibly obvious that i was kind of alt/emo, and i definitely felt like my family was gonna talk shit as soon as i left. but that's also just how latino families are. there's always chisme. i can't imagine what it must feel like to actually live in mexico while being emo (especially in the 00s-10s) but, from what i've heard, it's not fucking fun. you're just really othered in a way that i didn't totally feel in the states because i had my friends who were also emo. i mean the mexican emo wars is such fucking proof of the difference in the way white people interacted with alt cultures and the way mexicans did.

anyways this was just me putting words to a feeling i've always had about ptv. it is by no means articulate or well crafted, but i just wanted to get this out. i really do love pierce the veil and most of their work. i always smile when i see the way their heritage influences their music and they really effected the way i see myself and my culture. i love that they got a mexican folklorico dancer to dance with them on stage for bulls in the bronx. it seriously warmed my heart to see them embrace us that way and honestly makes me wanna fucking cry. don't come at me because this shit is half assed. i know it is. it is just me talking about my experience and feelings and what i've heard from other latinos. if you're latino too, add onto this post or message me if you want to talk about this stuff or just ptv in general. white people, don't engage in this convo. it is not about you and i don't care about your opinion on the latino experience in bandom. other poc are welcome to talk about their experiences too. was there a band like this that y'all had and how did that impact you guys' perspective of yourself and your culture?

[vanillabat99]

Longpost Life Dump Time !!

My group program has finished and I have learned many things!! For example, I learned that I do know how to make friends and talk to people, I just really really don't like most people. In fact, even with people I enjoy spending time with, I find the upkeep to be excruciating!! I do not enjoy socialising and I think the reason social media (specifically tumblr) is so comfortable for me is because there are no expectations. The interactions are meaningful and regular without the difficulty of conversation. The "qualifications" for what makes someone a Friend are very different here than when meeting someone in person, and I find this space to be much easier for me.

I know some of you have tried messaging me over the years, and most of the time it is me who stops responding, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy seeing you around online!! I am simply not a very social creature. I really do appreciate all the little notes and things ^-^

I am also realising that while my English is perfectly fine in casual conversation and day-to-day life, it is extremely difficult to engage in anything serious or academic in English. I have spent my adult life thinking I am simply not smart when in reality I just didn't know the terms and concepts in English!! My processing and understanding is still very slow, regardless of the language, but it is a relief to know that I can have those kinds of conversations as long as there is patience and a couple different dictionaries available :3

I have started a new program at the same place as my last one!! It's art-focused, which I am very excited about!! So far it seems like significantly less social expectations, which is excellent for me :3 I can't wait to make my weird art in peace ^-^

I have once again begun the very slow process of cleaning and sorting my room, with the intention of repainting and getting a new bed, and hopefully it actually happens this time!! I really don't fit in my current bed, it's quite embarrassing to show people my room currently. There's a lot of furniture that has to be moved (and removed) before I can really get into planning. I haven't been able to settle on a wall colour either >_< For the longest time I wanted a nice pastel blue, but lately I've been really into darker earthy tones, particularly some nice greens, and I am having a hard time imagining such a drastic change from my current (very sunfaded) pastel yellow. I've recreated my room in The Sims 4 to try and get a better idea of what it would look like, but it hasn't gotten me anywhere ._.

While I have been cleaning I found some old posters from when I was a kid. Posters I wanted to hang up but for whatever reason I never did. There's not very many of them, but I definitely want to put them up once I repaint, to honour Child Me. One is from a Cirque Du Soleil show I saw when I was in like elementary school, I don't remember the show itself but I do remember who I went with. I remember the poster was as big as I was when I got it, and my dad had to carry it all the way back to the car for me, and that it was windy. I also found a poster from when I was a teenager, and my favourite podcast had a live show in town, and I went with my best friend at the time. My dad went with us, even though he didn't know anything about it. I remember when my parents told me they got me tickets, and I fell to my knees and screamed with joy. I had never experienced that feeling before. It's been refreshing to remember these moments, and also very strange because they feel so far away. It's been adding on to the pile of strange things that make me pause lately.

I know I said it the other day, and probably a few times before that, but I'm happy to be alive. I spent so much of my life believing I wasn't going to make it to 18, and then I did. And then I kept going. And things changed, and I'm actually happy!! And yet, I've reached a point where I'm learning that things aren't all that different after all. Not in a bad way, just in a way I never got the chance to think about until now. It's like the world is so big again, and everything is a mystery again, and this time I'm alive to witness it all unfold before me :3

Thanks for reading my long posts ^-^ I hope y'all are doing okay wherever you are!! We will now resume regular blogging :3

[johanna-swann]

Ship neutral post about the season 9 renewal (minor spoilers ahead):

Season 8 so far has been... not great. Especially 8a left a lot of people disappointed, it was lacking in all kinds of regards. (See this post.) The last 3 episodes were pretty decent again* and felt more like the good'ol' 911 days which gives me personally hope, but in general 911 is not a very flexible show.

[* 8x11 and 12 were great, in 8x13 it felt a little off that the 118 collectively forgot Hen's birthday, but it was low-stakes silly drama that affected and involved all the characters as a family and even some side characters. I'm not gonna complain about that.]

Anyway, flexibility. All the main characters have been here for at least 6.5 seasons, the only main character who ever left was Abby way back in season 1. The main couples have all been together since season 2 or longer. Nobody, not a single person has progressed in their career at all. The side characters we've been missing in 8a are slowly coming back, but they still either get very (and I mean very) little screen time or they aren't relevant to the plot and are just there. (I was happy to see Hen's mother again for example, but why was she there? Everybody forgot Hen's birthday, we know that without having Toni sit in the living room when Hen gets home.) Even in their personal lives most characters have stagnated.

Bobby and Athena are still married and them rebuilding their house would be exciting if it happened to an irl friend of mine, but I don't really care what kitchen countertops two characters choose on tv?

Eddie is still struggling with the single dad thing (when to be firm, when to let go) and still isn't over Shannon. He finally stood up to his parents, but not in a way that significantly differed from back when he put his foot down and moved to LA imo and it wasn't a core issue anyway? It's an issue that developed as a consequence of Christopher moving, but that only happened in the first place because Eddie fucked up with the Kim/Shannon/Marisol drama which hasn't even been mentioned in season8.

Madney went through all the typical couple steps. They got married, a house, a daughter and a second kid on the way. And it was nice to see them grow as a family, but it's not particularly exciting. It's cute, but kinda basic. There were of course times when things didn't go perfectly, but even season 5 was so long ago at this point.

Hen had her med-school arc, but that didn't go anywhere and she has a second kid now, permanently, but all in all her life is the exact same as it was in season 1.

Buck had the bisexual awakening story line, but that was all about Tommy and not about Buck's actual sexuality. There was no "Oh, I am part of this community now", no peptalk with Hen, no "Oh that's what my weird obsession with X/Y/Z was about", no label, nothing. At first I thought they'd come back to it later, but later is here and still nothing. He's still the guy who impulsively goes all in too soon and ends up alone so he can restart the cycle [that reminds me I need to do laundry.]

911 is going into season 9 this year and something needs to change. Idc if they write one of the characters out of the show, if they add a new main, if they finally let someone do something with their career, if they let Buck get a (new) love interest who he finally gets to keep (could be Tommy, could be Eddie, for the sake of the show as a whole I do not care anymore although I do have a personal preference). They need to do something or the show is going to die a slow and agonising death.

[littleeyesofpallas]

How do you feel about Ikomikidomoe and hikone? I personally think they’re nice additions to the world but I’ve barely seen anyone else talk about them 

I think I did a post on that at some point actually, but I'm not in a position to go digging thru my archive on mobile. (found it, but it's mostly just poking at kanji in names rather than really commenting on the characters themselves, so I guess I can do more of that here.)

Broadly speaking I'm not really big on the LNs, least of all Narita Ryogo's. I know he is kind of the most beloved of the ancillary creators for actually addressing many of Kubo's obnoxious loose ends, my main beef with him is that even though he ties a lot of them off he never ties them off satisfactorily, and seemingly just for the sake of saying he did it; there's generally no thematic meat to any of it, all his hooksjust kinda amount to shuffling around Kubo's left overs. And granted, maybe that's a little harsh or unfair of an assessment, but I'm also not a big fan of light novels as a gimmicky genre/format to begin with, so take all that with a grain of salt.

Anyway. Of all the things he did over course of three books in Can't Fear Your Own World, I do think Hikone was a really neat idea. I like the general idea of exploring artificial souls and synthetic life forms and the hybrid spirits and how that all relates to the nature of the soulking as a lynchpin of reality, I'm just not super about the specific plot he built around it all.

I'm not especially in love with Ikomikidomoe specifically, I feel like it either needed more or just different lore or that it could have been done without entirely. I really think Hikone being an artificial god candidate and the nature of what that means and as an excuse to explore how the other canonical attempts to replace god could/would have gone was enough to center a story around. In particular I was already not super fond of some of the late throw away lore additions about zanpakutou that exist independent of a singular individual. (ala Nanao's family sword, and Oh-etsu's harem). I feel like it raised a lot of questions that got immediately swept under the rug and added nothing of value to the lore at large. I don't implicitly hate the idea of a zanpakutou that embodies a different kind of identity apart from that of an individual wielder, but that idea feels like it requires a LOT of additional explaining that we never got. So the fact that Tsunayashiro has an ancestral sword for no particularly meaningful reason, and that Ikomikidomoe has its whole convoluted backstory always kind of annoyed me.

It's a shame too because Narita seems to ever so slightly brush up against an idea that Kubo himself danced around in world building --that the identity manifested in one's inner world as a sword spirit, and the mask a hollow forms from its heart are the same thing, and thus a Menos accumulating myriad hollows within itself to consolidate into one uniform identity is basically the same process as what Oh-etsu describes is behind creating an Asauchi. So the idea of a powerful hollow becoming a zanpakutou or something similar has precedent, but the weird convoluted choice to make Ikomikidomoe specifically a product of Ichibee and Oh-etsu's intervention, rather than a natural consequence of a Menos ascending toward Vastolorde doesn't sit well with me.

On a side note, it bugs me that Kubo just casually threw in the idea that Asauchi are made of, what, hundreds if not thousands of shinigami souls(?) and then just NEVER addressed this weird implication that Soul Society, and Oh-etsu personally, have just, like, institutionally and systematically been committing mass genocides on the regular for all of recorded history? Huge huge mess of a world building flub. Not that it "couldn't" be answered, but that it wasn't, and that the effort it would take to patch up the apparent plot holes it introduces would just be so much effort for the sake of nothing but maintaining the status quo of the story.

Since you've got me in this rant, it's almost the same with the Ouken thing. I'm already not fond of the awkward retcon(ish) thing Kubo did with making the keys the bones of the Royal Guard as if that somehow answered any questions, when the bigger issue had been the idea that, literal key or not, each of the royal guard members was implicitly baptized in the fire of an apparent Sodom & Gomorrah catastrophes with whole cities or other swathes of land, densely packed with living, spiritually aware people being scraped off the face of the earth, ala Aizen's unfulfilled (and frankly Kubo's seemingly half forgotten) plans for Karakura.

And in the face of that weirdness there was a fun unaddressed parallel in the Royal Guard's private "cities" floating up in the royal realm with the king's palace looking like the perfect inversion of the hypothetical hole in the ground we were shown during the Ouken explanation. Were those cities populated? By whom?? Or were they empty? I don't know which possibility is more interesting to explore; that the royal guard each had a whole cult of ascended spirits living with them, each under the domain of one guard, or that the guard just lived in the hollow shells of the sacrifice it took for them to ascend alone to nigh demi-god status.

Was it that the ouken itself was the condensed souls of thousands of people, just like the later reveal about both the asauchi and White, and they died or were otherwise sacrificed to make this object(or i guess imbue the object that is living bones into becoming it(?) god the bone keys thing was dumb...), or did the souls serve some other purpose? Could it have been that rather than melting down living souls to make the key, as was kind of implied, that to create or imbue a key with the power required to function as the ouken it simply needed the presence of those souls? Did access to the god realm require being actively worshipped as a god, by thousands of people, a united spiritual power of a singleminded cult, a city of followers united in ascending the key holder into the realm of god? Who the hell knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But on that level, you'd think that's the same as the idea of a family zanpakutou, right? If the zanpkautou imprints or a person to reflect their true inner self which then grows stronger and gains power in the material world thru acknowledging and reconciling with, then implicitly the idea of a zanpakutou shared by a family would imply that its spirit is not a reflection of one person's singular traits, but those shared consistently across generations and in exchange for the lack of personal identity it confers the strength of literally multiple people's worth of power, just all reflected in a single persona.(or maybe not, i dunno, maybe the inner world of a family zanpakutou has some atlab avatar state stuff going on, who knows? Probably not Kubo.) What was the Soukyoku's giant execution blade, its destructive power conspicuously described in a measure of zanpakutou, if not a massive communal zanpakutou?(complete with its own spirit manifest as a phoenix) And what is Ichigo's inner spirit of a younger Yhwach if not the communal spirit of the Quincy bloodline? Andi n the context of these sorts of escalations of scale and power, is then the soul king actually a "human soul" in the way the cycle of human/quincy and shinigami and hollow all traffic in the same base elemental "stuff"? Or was the Soul King not that type of a "person" at all, and just a giant collective zanpakutou, a singular spirit reflecting the inner truth of humanity as a whole, and his "bankai" the wheel of reincarnation itself. Anyway that's veering too far off into speculation and potential headcanon.

Getting back to Hikone, though... I like the idea of there being various different approaches to achieving the hybrid spirit form seemingly central to god status. Ichigo was naturally synthesized that way by the circumstances of his birth, Aizen used the hougyoku and "science" to forcibly and unnaturally synthetize himself, Yhwach was seemingly born not by actively joining disparate elements together but by simply being an offshoot of something that was already a hybrid... And then there's Hikone... and while I feel like plot wise there are a lot of issues to there just having been the means to synthesize artificial life just floating around in the background, while characters like Mayuri and Urahara and even Aizen are out there actively struggling with the process, but I like the idea of a kind of middle ground where, ignoring the stupid contrivance of the Gremmy brain thing, Hikone's fundamental contraction isn't quite artificial "life" in the spiritual sense that Bleach deals in so much as it is a "body" without a brain.

But I like the implicit idea of having to draw a line around that. If you can make a thing that fulfills most of the requirements of life, then which things reserved for living personhood can it do and which can it not? If you elevate that to the level of godhood, then it's a fun question that in the grand scheme of things where apparently someone needs to be stripped of their autonomy and sit in the crystal for forever to hold the world together, then can it just be a fake person with no autonomy to lose in the first place? Where as Aizen thought being god would be cool(and was very probably wrong), and Yhwach doesn't seem to want to be god so much as remove him and replace him with ???(unconfirmed: in which it seemed like(ironically) plan A was originally Juugram, and plan B was Uryuu), Hikone is the Indiana Jones rock and the golden idol solution to the problem: Can I just swap god out for this god-shaped bag of rocks and get away with it?

I'm sorry between being at work, and googling images, and then making this silly edit now, I've totally lost my train of thought... Uh... to summarize:

I like Hikone as an idea: I like "synthetic god" as a plot hook.

I like their name having associations with silk and, like, silk worms, as if they were spun and woven like a fiber but also with cocoon imagery attached.

I also think they're a super cute design.

I'd have liked the artificial souls to have more of plot behind them: like what are Urahara and Mayrui's actual goals in making them in the first place, other than just mad science for mad science's sake

I'd have liked for Ichigo's(and Aizen's for that matter; like how was it different and/or insufficient by comparison to Ichgio, or Yhwach or Hikone) hybrid theme to have a better actual conclusion.

I'd have liked better exploration of the nature of god souls and what that requires/means

[bonefall]

decided to try my hand at some oc clanmew translations because i think it's fun :3c i have more but here are the ones that are either my favorites character-wise or took some thought!

STAR HIVESWARM - shai ffawsbabfsfsafen

star bee-home swarmed. there's no word for a hive in term of bugs, so i just shoved ffaws with the first part of babipanna to make hive. She's called hiveswarm because her gray ticked fur looks like a swarm of bugs and she was overwhelmed with many things as a warrior and deputy, swarmed with them

ISOPODSPOTS- booiwoowoo

rollypolly-spotting. Isopodspots is white with black spotting like a dairy cow isopod! He's in star hive's clan, which has an abundance of bug names

booiwoowoo is really fun to say.

BLUEFLOWER - luparponma

blue flower... hers is very simple but i like her. she was named for her blue eyes, bluish grey parts of her dilute calico patterning, and for her knowledge of medical flowers as a medicine cat. If her clan knew what lotuses were she'd be bluelotus (blue water-flower?) instead. a very straightforward name, but as a character she's far from straightforward!

STAR BREEZESONG - shai hraa'ahwuosoon.

star breeze wind-whistling. i would have used the singing verb, but I thought the hypothetical literal "song" the wind sings would be fitting for her name instead. she wasn't named breezesong for any super specific reason in particular but i imagine she may have been born on a particularly windy day, or maybe her fur flows in a specific way akin to a breeze

HOUNDSNIPE - bayaokikaboohafefyl

large hound-wader-bird. her name is a joke about guns since the character she's based on uses guns as her main weapon, but uses the name of a wading bird! as for why the hound prefix... she looks somewhat doglike, being large with black and white markings and having huge paws, teeth and distinctively pointed ears. she's breezesong's sister. breezesong looks like a normal cat

JUNGLEHOPE - papayaogshaba

steady rain-forest-prayer. jungles and rainforests would probably be synonymous to warrior cats since they don't know a lot about em, and i'd imagine a prayer to starclan is similar to hoping!

SPLINTERFLOOD - boekarkworrl

a lot-broken piece-flood. the clanmew word for splinter, as in the piece of wood or thorn that gets stuck in your paw pad, isn't what i imagined for splinterflood's name. splinter as in the verb, splinter as in breaking into many small pieces. he's flooded by the splinters in his namesake, parts of himself. his old name was floodheart, but he changed it to splinterflood, then eventually splinterheart again. (worrlbabun, boekarkbabun) he's indecisive and also very dramatic, almost like cat the shakespeare

MOTHFLARE - ffyyfyn

moth-flame, her name is an honor title! she survived major burns as an apprentice from a forest fire that occurred during a battle with a warring clan, and when she recovered she was granted her honor title. she's also a sorta charcoal black color, with long fur that wisps like a flame

ffyyfyn is a very nice coincidence of a name. it's very pleasant sounding

very nervous to send this but who cares i'm having fun it's clanmew time. i love better bones it's super cool

No need to be nervous! These names are all great! Booiwoowoo my beloved!

I'm going to give you words for homes that insects construct. I AM GOING TO BE POSTING IMAGES BELOW THE CUT. So here's a Trypophobia warning!

There's BEES down there, and SPIDERS, and HOLES. And weird plant tumor things called galls. Basically, bugs are adorable but they are also horrorshows who bend nature to their little leggy whims.

A home that an insect constructs is a Kin. Kin is also a word with many meanings in Clanmew. It can mean...

An insect's home

A clay pot with only a small opening

A strange object

A belonging of someone, especially an object that has special value to that person; a prized possession

A hole with a biting animal in it

Something that someone will fight you for; something you may have to fight to keep

There's a LOT of words for specific Kin.

Large, flat web = Yyb

Cobweb = Feep

Gall/Bauble = Kichaw

Honeycomb = Mlogur

Hive = Skib

Anthill = Shein

Yellow Meadow Anthill = Eebo

Large, flat webs = Yyb

The sorts of webs made by orbweavers, hanging straight downwards. Big, strong, and sticky. Word can also mean that something is vertical-- perpendicular to the ground.

Cobweb = Feep

NOT made of dust. Cobwebs are formed first by cob spiders, and then dust can settle on them in a house after they've been abandoned, damaging them beyond use.

In Clanmew, a cobweb is a fuzzy, 3D web with an odd structure. It can describe any spiderweb that doesn't have the "classic" flat shape, like the webs you may see in your cellar or the corner of your house.

Gall/Bauble = Kissaw

These are ALL galls that Clan cats can find on oak trees alone. They're specialized growths that certain types of wasps and flies can force the tree to grow into, to protect and feed a larvae before it pupates.

The word can mean gall, or it can refer to any interesting little natural object or adornment. Clan cats also can't always tell these apart from blights, chawb, so the word tends to be applied to useful galls (ink can be made from one type) or ones that are particularly interesting.

Honeycomb = Mlogur

SPECIFICALLY the hives of honeybees. Cartoons lie to you; honeybees do not create the grayish, papery hives that wasps and hornets do. A mlogur is yellow, droopy, and sometimes drips with honey.

And they're VERY important. Honey is one of the best natural antiseptics in the entire world, INVALUABLE for treating wounds. The wax can also be repurposed into all sorts of useful things, and even the larvae can be eaten.

Hive = Skib

EXACTLY what you usually imagine when you hear 'hive.' A nest of stinging bees, wasps, and hornets; but NOT honeybees.

Dangerous and useless. Clan cats avoid these at all costs; nothing good comes from messing with them.

Anthill = Shein

The hilly, bare structures that 3/4 of the ant species they encounter create.

Yellow Meadow Anthill = Eebo

A term mostly used by WindClan! At first glance, one may think these are strange little natural landmarks, but in reality, they're actually colonies of yellow meadow ants. After they build their homes, grass comes up to cover the structure.

Sometimes WindClan apprentices like to play hopping games with these, seeing how many they can successfully bounce over without stopping.