#it's very similar with abuse where like
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cruelsister-moved2 · 2 years ago
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^(above is sc of someone else's post) I don't want to be mean to this person but that's really not what people mean when they say that... the point is that for example cults will target people in a vulnerable situation, and different cults will have different target audiences. you will at some point in your life be in the kind of state that makes you vulnerable to cult abuse (grieving, tough break-up, experiencing or escaped abuse, living alone in a foreign country, financial instability, serious illness, etc) and there will be a cult out there that fits well with you and makes you feel good enough that it doesn't trigger cult cliché alarm bells.
it's usually addressing things like a very narrow public perception of what a cult is, so people don't recognise warning signs because the cult is christian, or left-wing, or versed in therapyspeak, or run by women, or completely non-religious. you think of cults as something that happens to other people (non-christians, drug users, hippies, gullible boomers, new-agers). obviously the entire point is that education about cults helps people to resist cults; the issue is that believing you're just innately not someone who would fall prey to a cult will stop you from being vigilant and put you in danger.
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you know something that has bothered me about persona 5 ever since I played it is how they don’t address Yusuke’s attitude towards art.
He idealises the artistic process to the point its clearly self destructive (ie doesn’t eat , doesn’t have any money ect) and more concerning the idea of the true artist. The artist who is divorced from all worldly needs and pleasures the artists who has cut themselves off completely from society all in the name of their unbending artistic vision.
The best example I can think of off the top of my head is when he comes over to Ren’s house he gets them to watch art documentaries with him and if I’m remembering correctly the guy in the documentary left his family and completely cut himself off from society for the sake of his craft and yusuke considers this aspirational.
The problem is this attitude isn’t actually all that helpful. Any work done while depriving yourself is never the best work you could have made whether that be of sleep , food , social interaction , joy ect and art devoiced from society lacks meaning the best art isn’t completely removed from the human experience it reflects and comments it on it
but more so then this mindset being destructive and a tired idea I have distain for it feels like such a clear extension of Madarame’s abuse. We see Madarame also holds this mindset so Yusuke must have gotten it from him and it seems to disproportionately benefit Madarame and reminds me of abusive behaviour.
if yusuke doesn’t value and understand money or the worldly pleasures it can afford him then he won’t be bothered by Madarame receiving all the money from his works and it makes him more dependent on Madarame / the school he goes to because he can’t for example take the train , afford food or housing and it somewhat limits him socially making it harder to go out with friends.
“Social abuse is behaviour that is aimed at cutting you off from other relationships. This can be your family, friends, your workplace or a community you belong to.
The abusive person may:
-try to stop you from seeing other people or going to social activities
-try to stop you from going out
-make it difficult for you to use your car, other forms of transport or mobility aids” (in this case train)
“Types of financial and economic abuse
The abusive person may:
-take full control of all the finances, spending and decisions about money so that you are financially dependent on them”
if yusuke thinks that the only compensation a “true artist” needs is the artistic fulfilment of completing a work then he won’t be bothered by Madarame taking the credit
if yusuke thinks he needs to cut himself off from the world and others then he will be less likely to realise that what madarame is doing is wrong but also that he is completely dependent on madarame.
“Abusive partners will often try to isolate their victim, i.e. limit their access to those close to them in order to weaken them psychologically. The victim ends up cut off from the relationships that fuel their inner strength, provide validation and support, and could help them to see their situation more clearly.”
(I’m using an example from an article about abuse in romantic relationships but the point still applies)
if yusuke is single mindedly focused on the creation of art that benefits Madarame more because the more art the more compensation he receives
“An abuser may deliberately deprive the victim of sleep, with the aim of making them more vulnerable. The abuser may startle her awake just as she's about to fall asleep, refuse to let her sleep to settle an argument (often deliberately started at bedtime), or wake her up incessantly during the night” “The victim then loses a lot of stamina and finds themselves greatly weakened, both psychologically and physically.”
the idea that only other creative souls will understand your work creates a us vs them conflict and allows the abuser to easily reflect with “they just don’t understand”
It introduces this dynamic that wanting anything that doesn’t contribute to the art is bad and makes you a worse artist a worse person. Its assigning morality and success to the behaviour that madarame wants to incentivise and disincentivise he wants yusuke to make more art but he doesn’t want to yusuke to become disconnect or independent so the sentiment that to be a true artist you must let go of worldly possessions once again loops back round to reinforcing abuse
even though he is out of the abusive environment he still hasn’t unlearned/been confronted on this mind set.
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volfoss · 4 months ago
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it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.
#twist rambles#vc posting#grooming mention#for blocklist sorry im on my im really mad about this fucking series soapbox again#to be fucking honest she treats slavery similar. like its just THERE and the characters doing it dont really feel bad about it (much like m#rius doesnt seem to.. feel much if any remorse for arm.and) and it is just like... ok heres another bad thing with no examination. this isn#a super coherent post but i went a bit forward to see how b&g was handling the arm.and stuff and oh my god. oh im so mad. like i just... i#wish so badly that arma.nds abuse was taken seriously other than haha its sooo quirky that mari.us is in a position of power over him and#provides housing money sex comfort etc for him and is abusing him but hes sooo happy with himmmm. like he fucking sold him into sex slavery#and we are supposed to root for him#ask to tag#sorry this is just. its a very triggering part of the books but its something that i kind of keep returning to to mull over because it is#handled really badly. like i think she was trying to go for a lo.lita vibe (iirc she did actually mention nabok.ov as an inspiration) but#didnt really care enough to examine WHY that is an interesting take on the subject matter. not even to get into pan.doras stuff bc its just#really bad but at least he waited until she was an adult i suppose. like i will give anne one thing that she has characters and (poorly han#led) writing that makes you really think and analyze. which i think is where i enjoy media that is like... this kind of sucks at points but#u can tell the authors viewpoints soo transparently. and u can examine it thru this. like i think thats why i find the gr.ell run of GA int#resting too bc u can telll that man is a libertarian and doesnt respect women. and then claims to do so. its interesting to me. anyways#did u guys know she defended bill clin.ton when the monica stuff came out and victim blamed her. just a funny coincidence.#sorry for the really long tag rant but i am sooo fed up with how she treats this topic forever and ever. bc its been this way forever.#anyways back to reading had to get that out. lmk if u need me to tag this bc its a lot of tws :)
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justanotherghostwriter · 7 months ago
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#I stand by my 7/10 rating for NATLA#But I'm watching the episodes in full (as opposed to flipping through them as I did before)#And I still don't like Bumi or Katara or Iroh's characterisation#But Ozai's is really irking me#Just because I love how the animated version of Ozai is so arrogant#He's not manipulative#Even when going to Azulon to ask for Iroh to be dethroned it's not very subtle.#It's what really sells the “of c I should make a position for myself and rule the world. I'm just that great. And my kid is that great too”#I get what they were going with in NATLA about manipulating Azula with fake affection for Zuko to pit them against each other#But I really think that the animated show's Ozai's abuse is just as damaging. Just different.#“You were born to be perfect like me and every single sign you're not is a disappointment of what you could achieve” is a#psychological MOUNTAIN to put on your kid#IDK. I know it's not a HUGE difference like Bumi but#It irks me. And it's irking me continuously. I liked OG Ozai and his flaws and his methods.#You know in a villain way. It just...#There's a line from “Stormbenders” (yes I've been in fandom that long) where Katara's like#“I have just realised that Ozai and Azula are petty... and that makes them so much more dangerous than I thought”#Similar vein to Yon Rha being “sad and empty”#And for Azula's eventual (need-to-be-hard-earned) redemption arc I just... I want OG Ozai and his nuances#That is the end of my rant I'll go re-watch scarf again
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cabeswaterdrowned · 8 months ago
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remembering on my circa 2017 booklr I used to tell people to read Gemma Doyle by describing it as trc but with an all girls boarding school / all girl group in a historical setting… I was trying to do the lord’s work she deserved tumblr fame
#I do think that was an oversimplification of both but. Not totally off base there are some similar char tropes used I’m proud of past me for#the attempt. Also I think I’m going to start advocating for Diviners in that way now that trc fandom is apparently quite miserable post GW#you like gay people doing dream magic? you like witchcraft and ghosts and strong ensemble casts?#you like an ambitious abuse survivor getting a healing arc with learning to control magic/psychic abilities as a metaphor? you like four#book series where the first three books rock and the last book which is named king + corvid is a bit underwhelm who said that?#a positive point in diviners favor is Ling x Wei Mei >>>> RonanKavinsky. Generally find the take on dream magic in diviners more compelling#(although LingHenry + RonanHennessy both being mlm wlw duos who are the dreamers is kinda fun)#anyway. This is not actually a fair comparison because Ling is my fav or at least top two w Theta of the leads and I love Ronan but he is m#least favorite of the trc leads of which there are four all of whom I love so it says nothing bad about him. But it does put me as an#outlier re: fandom priorities..#on the flip side while I love diviners dynamics sadly I don’t think they ever come anywhere close to Gangsey levels of extreme codependency#so I can not care quite as much….#from what I remember the girls in Gemma Doyle are a lot more codependent good for them. Would have to reread to compare codependency levels#Ling and Theta are both my favorite in diviners in the same way Blue and Adam are my favorite in trc and Abed and Annie are both my fav for#community. basically one char who I love and overidentify with (Ling/Blue/Abed) and one char I love who in many ways I’m not like#but in a handful of very niche specific ways I also relate quite a bit. And am fascinated with (Theta/Adam/Annie)#s speaks#very off topic from my initial point which was you should read Libba Bray’s books#and in both cases I have a second and a half tier fav (Evie/Gansey/Britta) who I love fictionally but if I was trapped in a room w them I’d#kill myself. with the white blonde women I’d also want to make out w them debatable if that makes it better or worse#but like. I could not stand listening to them speak for that long I know this#Gansey might just die a third time by my hands…
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hecksupremechips · 8 months ago
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Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks#but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD#i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin#i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr#first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with#all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying#and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so#good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all#like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad#he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP#and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just#being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how#well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler#and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end#and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts#cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish#but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like#the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries#and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer#and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive#and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori#and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent#and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse#he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA#im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad#and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof#I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN#have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes
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mars-ipan · 3 months ago
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this post is not going to be very well planned out so i’d like you all to be niceys to me if i bungle the wording but i feel like the moment people understand that certain forms of bigotry stem from hatred for certain groups but can affect people not belonging to those groups and hurt them just the same is the moment a lot of our conversations about diversity, oppression, and how to combat marginalization stop going so hard in circles and start being productive
#marzi speaks#marzirants#i do think ppl are making progress#but like. with idk misogyny for example. that’s a form of bigotry i know well enough to ramble abt#there are plenty of specific types of bigotry that stem from misogyny. like… the fundamentalist idea of the power heirarchy of a household#yanno the umbrella one. god -> husband -> wife -> kids#this power dynamic leads to a lot of abuse of power which is why so many fundamentalist homes have abusive fathers#the dynamic exists primarily to elevate the man above all others- especially the woman#(children are an oppressed class too but that is a diff conversation from rn)#but it still causes suffering to the children despite it being this way primarily to diminish the woman#hell it can even cause suffering to the man if he ‘fails’ to fulfill that social role of provider#misogyny will be leveled against him and he will have his manhood called into question by his community#and this misogyny is not ‘misdirected’ in this case. it’s working exactly as intended#and once we can start to understand concepts like this esp in the contexts of intersectionality#and how different types of bigotry may look very similar but occur for very different reasons#i think we’ll be able to have much more meaningful conversations about where this bigotry stems from and what pushes it forward#and therefore the best things we can do to combat it#PLEASE REMEMBER I AM IN A WEIRD STATE RN DON’T YELL AT ME IF I GOOFED PLS. LIFE BIG AND I’M TIRED AND SCARED OF EVERYTHING COOL
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musical-chick-13 · 10 months ago
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Again, always very confusing to me when people suffering from The Obsessive Compulsives are Antis™, like these people will not protect you. They believe thought crimes are real. They inherently hate you and WILL throw you to the wolves if they ever come to know about anything related to your intrusive thoughts or the """""weird""""" things they ask you to do in therapy to manage/cope with them.
#you know how in erp a big part of it is writing down/thinking about the actual worst case scenario? you know the scenario that#often leads to people being harmed in a permanent way? you know creating a fictional scenario where bad things happen to good#people and you are the cause of them? THE VERY KIND OF FICTION THESE PEOPLE ARE AGAINST EXISTING IN ANY FORM BECAUSE IT#'NORMALIZES' WHATEVER TF THEY'RE ON A CRUSADE ABOUT ON ANY GIVEN DAY#THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. THIS WAY OF THINKING IS /ACTIVELY ANTITHETICAL/ TO RECOVERY FROM THIS DISORDER#this is related to the 'does anyone else get Themes™ about writing' question I posed a while back and some of these people..........#if you knew the specifics of what I was writing about you would COMMIT ARSON#IT'S NOT REAL! NONE OF THIS IS REAL!! YOU ARE ONLY GOING TO MAKE IT WORSE FOR YOURSELF BY MORALIZING FICTION IN THIS WAY#I USED TO HAVE CRISES OVER SYMPATHIZING WITH AND ENJOYING VARIOUS HORRIBLE FICTIONAL WOMEN TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO KNOWS DIRECTLY!!!!!!!#and ngl a lot of these arguments about why xyz is Irredeemable™ sound a LOT like my disorder.#(especially in the way they try to like...twist things into fitting into a definition of [insert type of problematic dynamic here] a la#'character raising their voice at someone one time during a high-stakes situation is abuse' or 'people who were friends as children#are Related Actually')#like. you get why. you get why this VERY disorder would think in similar ways to that right. because it tries to convince you that#everything you do is violating various human rights correct? you get why this would be unhelpful right?#IF YOU SOUND LIKE MY FUCKING DISORDER!!! YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!#In the Vents#okay I'm done. this just. It BUGS me.
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rosecreates · 10 months ago
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Raven and Astarion are basically just "Charlatan to Charlatan communication" without either realizing it because neither of them are very open about their pasts at first and in the scenario where Astarion enacts his simple plan on Raven he has no idea he is breaking Rule 0: Don't try to con another conman (or conwoman in this case).
Raven knows exactly what he's doing but she just doesn't tell him she knows until later because the game is fun.
Both of them thought this would stay a game but then they both catch feelings lmao. Absolute losers (affectionate).
#{oc ramblings}#{oc: raven}#ive been thinking more about raven with astarion because like i have major astarion brainrot ofc but like#they're real similar in several ways and i initially thought that would be their downfall as a couple but like whilst it still could be#they both are very capable of immense character development that can have it not end badly#raven already has all kinds of seeds for becoming better and i can imagine astarion would like...not intentionally push her toward that but#see he would encourage her to continue being her chaotic neutral self but i dont think he'd stay silent when he realizes shes being abused#like she keeps her past close to her chest and constantly is like 'oh drow society is just like this its fine' but everyone around her def-#is like '...you know that doesnt mean its ok you got treated the way you were treated right???'#raven wasnt sexually abused like astarion. but she did have to claw her way from the bottom to where she is. she knows extremely well she-#got lucky. and shes continued getting lucky. she's had several attempts on her life and she knows her fate is in her adoptive mom's hands#her adoptive mom could throw her out at any time. kill her even. she acts arrogant and full of herself but she knows the fragile-#foundation she stands on as part of house mizzrym. she already has dealt with lots of judgement from others. jealousy from others#her position is unstable and its also why shes real desperate to cling onto it because if she fucks up she's screwed no matter how talented#she may be. and that sort of thing isnt good for her. the constant worry about losing everything she has if she screws up.#she worked her butt off and still works her butt off to stay where she is but it can all not matter if her adoptive mother decides she's-#not worth shit anymore. even if she's killed countless of her adoptive siblings. even if she passed a test of lolth.#though she's also probably looking for a more stable position in drow society which i think her companion quest will feature her-#being offered the chance for a more stable position. im not sure what position. i originally considered the chosen of lolth but eh#maybe lolth tasked her with murdering her adoptive mother (akordia is her name) to overtake her position?#akordia possibly being the like right-hand woman of the current matron mother (her sister). i dunno.#god i wish drow lore was more centralized NBJFGNKBGF#maybe i'll rewrite the position that raven is in again to make it where she just serves house mizzrym#just. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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vaugarde · 1 year ago
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me when star allies is so so so close to being a fantastic game with amazing characters like zan being the eldest who takes the brunt of hyness and her religion’s cruelty or hyness being someone driven to insanity over his religion and devotion and the darker tone of the ending is so interesting and the gameplay is wholesome and the dream friends are so awesome but its english translation is so botched and it shrugs off hyness’s actions with “oh he got carried away its fine teehee he and the sisters are on best terms afterwards despite him abusing them since childhood” and the main story is not fun to replay bc its so easy and i cant blame people for saying its mediocre because not everyone is as invested in coming up with a story from the lore but its agonizing bc the game was so close to being a knockout
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secretlythatsme · 9 months ago
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i don't particularly mind danny damian twin aus but i'm still surprised that became the norm when danny and tim are so much more alike? like, black hair blue eyes, absent neglectful parents, creepy older men obsessed with them, usually depicted as lankier teens, both of them becoming obsessed with helping/saving people as a result of being neglected, feeling like if they can't help then they're useless, etc.
like danny and damian being twins or siblings isn't Bad but you also have to do so much more work to actually,,, make it work. and i feel like people only like it more because it's angstier and allows them to make danny cooler rather than it makes more sense. but with how many danny fans focus on bad fenton parents or at least neglectful fenton parents, i just thought they would enjoy danny and tim being twins more.
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seapigeonn · 2 years ago
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I watched Festen last night and really liked it! The last movie I watched before it was actually The Banshees of Inisherin a bit back, which I think, while not being actually all that similar movies at all, have some interesting overlap that’s pretty cool. Like, the whole aspect of abuse being an open secret within a large group of people/a community, but the abuser being not only well pretty charismatic and well liked in the group, but also being an authority figure with a lot of power in it. How that leads to that abuse kind of… being ignored and pushed back on by the community, it’s too icky to talk about so everyone just… does nothing. How often this kind of like… collective inaction from authority figures traps children in horrific situations that they can’t escape.
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arandomeroacher · 2 months ago
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people calling Wuthering Heights a romance has me tweaking, genuinely.
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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 months ago
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skinamarble hornets, i was like i hope my favorite skinamascene has been uplomarinked on youtube....reminds me of that season one marble hornets entry that's the First House Visit and how i saw it described somewhere as like "absolutely nothing happens, & it's terrifying" & it reminds me of the torment of watching as the series was released & Every Time something came out, no matter what happened in like setting, atmosphere, plot, scares, there'd be someone going "ugh another Nothing entry" over the most crucial &/or enjoyable shit so long as it didn't feature [& he's cookin hot dogs on the stove???] & didn't feature it like every other minute for good measure. as though a format that is predictable, like the promise of the same kind of scene in the same intervals of timing, would actually be scary or at all interesting. shoutout to these the entries, or even intervals of time within entries, where "absolutely nothing happens" and it's called suspense in knowing it Could, tension in an unsafe, uneasy, unsettling situation in the meantime, & then also potential followup recontextualization that only creates more tension for later similar material. ("absolutely nothing" happens (of course, actually, things happen, but) in the skinamarink scene save for the literal last few seconds when the "jumpscare" is a very brief change in audio & visuals which is neither actually that loud nor like showing anything scary(tm) (technically a la marble hornets i think people say you can like see an arm extend for a nanosecond but i never catch it if so lol) but rather hits at all because of 8 minutes of suspense & tension & Nothing Happening But It Could) (also bravely standing up like "it's fine that skinamarink has some jumpscares, including the obvious few even jumpier than this" like who cares if it's "easy" necessarily & also that Knowing such startlement can happen ramps up the tension even when it didn't, but it could've. like so)
#finally some Yeah Yayyy (horror i've seen that wasn't [all the stuff where at this point i may as well not even say i like horror])#i kind of do in the sense that i go Wheee at enjoyable [aaa tension aaa gripping the handlebars] like so. & some ppl don't#& that the genre can obviously express fun interesting things. skinamarink e.g. is one of the really few things where like#plenty of people can go ''so my avg tuesday as a four year old'' Like Me when you really don't see it portrayed well hardly at all#other like ''oh nooo the experience of child abuse'' in horror or in Anything is like. head in hands scream (not in a good way)#this has both the like often literal physical perspective of small children. the metaphorical perspective of small children#(like even if one's parents were Fine & not as much an omnipotent haunting temperamental presence either awol or insistently toying w/you#were you not likely stuck in a Living Space unless & until whichever adult you were landed with; tossup re: malice levels towards you;#decided to bring you out of it (or you had Official Transit somewhere like for school) & Even Then. stuck living with adult guardian#until legal adulthood anyways which Is literal multiple [live your Entire Life over again]s away when you're very small. & even then like#people generally can't actually up & Escape the instant they're eighteen. but anyways the One Zillion Years [Killing You] Loop applies#metaphorically. & the [Killing You] Loop Just B/c Someone Can applies to plenty of situations ppl aren't four but still lack power#anyways re: this specific clip my favorite element probably of this favorite scene are the perfectly quiet Technically Unthreatening audio#where the seeming parent voice is not Loud but is suddenly a) inexplicably close by & b) too Almost playful already#almost singsong; feeling just a tiny bit too slow. like that makes it Intrusive in this way & entirely unsettling & ominous lol. dissonant#& aptly resonates with [yeah i've had similar very young nightmaresque scenarios. about being called by parent figures]#apt when it's like & yeah growing up in the heck dimension trying to deal by fending for yourself or nervously catering to the entities#is like yes it's obviously The Horrors & it's also The Comedy (enough of the same thing)#also apt when the inspiration & evoked Experience is meant to be truly surreal. dream formatting#limited visuals in scope & depth & clarity; moving from one place or view to another without usual Logics of progression there. yolo#next favorite bit is the very end. avoiding having faces shown so much & then one as the only thing you see but very out of focus#and then nothing happens lol thee end. but you hold your breath peel off the armrests anyways! phone bit is great too. efficient#anyways still a hater over MH complainers ''ohh nothing happened oohh more trees'' like yeah yeah i'm sure you could pare it down#i'm sure you could pare down [looking at a wall] shots in skinamarink but who cares. It's Fine As Is & shaving it down risks ruining it#Youtube
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thatdemiboymess · 3 months ago
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Trying to explain the symptoms of your mental illness to the person responsible for that particular mental illness (it is C-PTSD) without straight up saying or even implicating "yeah, I can't do dishes when other people are around without having a panic attack because of how you used to come up behind me while I was doing dishes and would hit me" is...so fucking difficult. And it is additionally vexing to be told afterwards "maybe you just had low blood sugar." I want to maul.
#fae irl#abuse mention#i am trying to keep things civil and such#but god damn#she is in therapy now (16 months!) and is trying to do something nice for me rn (giving me a handful of groceries!)#and my lovely aunt will be coming down here soon and we will be seeing each other in person when my auntie does so#i do not want to cause waves#i do not#we are both in very similar positions and we both have buckets of trauma so i understand partially why she was Like That while raising me#and she is finally trying to get and be better in some regards#so i will. not. choose this moment. to confront my mother.#i will. withhold. i will not cause needless stress.#we were having a simple conversation about dishes. i will not turn that conversation into something else and cause a fight.#i will not.#even if hearing her be like ''oh hey i get that!!! i also have some of those symptoms (anxiety while doing dishes)''#really really really makes me want to scream ''then why in the FUCK did you come up behind me while I was doing the dishes--#--and start hitting me and screaming at me!!!''#i will simply. let the desperate sense of heartbreak and betrayal go back into the void.#i will let this pass through and over me. peacefully.#and i will do the dishes. alone. while my partner sleeps. and i will not have a panic attack while i do so this time.#because i am no longer living in an abusive household. this is a safe place where the only situation where id be hit is if i asked for it.#and aint that something?#whew.#i am. fine. 😀👍
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karinyosa · 10 months ago
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if i ever played jesus he would be the slimiest most decrepit doesn’t shower or sleep neurotic unwell emotional roller coaster dissociated from the human form motherfucker ever and if i ever played judas he would be a smarmy twink.
#i think jcs jesus is in a weird half dissociated state the entire play and in gethsemane i think he is like fully out of his body#he’s hallucinating in that garden#judas is like. i would make him quippy. like yes he’s a very passionate character but also i think being like#openly critical is kind of second nature to him#to the point where like i think he would just say shit#i don’t think he has to be super openly intense w jesus until the last supper (divorce song). and i like the idea of tls being like a break#ng point in a really obvious way. up to that point it’s just simmering. heaven on their minds is almost like an offhand prophecy to me#i think it could be very casual for him to be like hey best friend here’s everything that i think is wrong with you#he just says it. like that’s the kind of person he is. judas asks what everyone’s wondering. he might even view it as his duty as a friend#jesus however needs to either have the intensity dialed to 11#or just to be incredibly deflated but obviously filled with like inner turmoil. like theres ghosts in his brain and u can see it in his eye#and i think in gethsemane he would oscillate wildly between the two#i think it’s because like jesus to me thinks of himself so heavily as a vessel#so like there’s this sense that his body is just a shell or not really his#sorry didn’t mean to give your messiah dysphoria it was an accident this time#i think in a similar way with mary the mother there can be an element of thematic sa there as well#definitely not as overtly as with her but it’s that whole thing of like#your body not really belonging to yourself and existing essentially as an object or tool for someone else’s ends#there’s that sense of smallness as well. this feeling of being unable to escape this nebulous sense of ownership no matter where you are#and i mean you can map that onto all kinds of abuse. im far from the first person to point that out. anwyay its another one of those nights#i think if i ever played jesus i would get flack for making him un-messiah-like like i think he’d come off unlikable and unsettling#as he should#during holy week at least#outside of holy week he’s a charming uoung man with so much passion and drive that you really want to believe everything hes saying#to the point where you brush off his more concerning tendencies#and obv he can perform miracles too or whatever. i guess#anyway back to the intensity thing i just think it’d be funny to have a judas that’s just like#leaning on a beam or whatever like hey what ur doing rn sucks major ass. love and light#and jesus responding like a bridled horse about to crush the fucking bit between his teeth#anyway this is just what i would do. i am well aware i have only twinkish smarminess to offer for judas
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