#it's very frustrating tbh
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i think its so funny when people take the way donnie acts at face value even though its a horrible lie because he's a horrible liar, while understanding leo is bullshitting very well despite him actually being GOOD at bullshitting. many such cases
#personal#rottmnt#although tbf its probably because with leo its unpacked more thoroughly in the movie#donnie is not a morally ambiguous emotionally unavailable bad boy. he is very sensitive actually#he's a little crybaby /aff#and like this isnt hidden. he isnt SECRETLY sensitive or secretly caring its very out in the open actually#he's not hiding it well AT ALL AND THEY ALL KNOW IT LMAOOOOOOOO#i think donnie's perception of himself is somewhat earnest and somewhat. not? he DEFINITELY thinks he's more evil than he actually is#BGHFHDHGJFHG#i think what causes him to lash out and struggle to communicate is his inability to articulate his feelings#they are just too big for him. like its the exact opposite of robotic#he cant force himself to give a fuck but when he DOES its too much#so he yells and lashes out or he shuts down completely#honestly i think the perception of him being too sensitive being a problem makes way more sense than the perception of him being 'robotic'#when it comes to struggles in how his family sees him at least#even in little ways you can see him take it pretty personally when he's insulted#he struggles to blow things off#and i think it would also explain his tendency to like. visibly calm himself down when he gets upset? its a thing he does a lot in the show#he desperately wants to destroy that perception of him because he's trying so hard to close himself off#he doesn't want to be the sensitive one that cant take anything. it especially works in line with his shell#it was a big inspiration for canary continuity tbh. donnie should struggle with being the sensitive one in fic more#mikey is more empathetic and he's more emotional but donnie's quicker to feel offended or take things personally#BACKED UP HEAVILY BY CANON#that 'you can be honest with me! no hard feelings' - 'he's lyinggggggg'#like he's not upset with them babying him as much as he is with them genuinely finding it frustrating that he can fall behind like that#and just cannot take shit like that. so he tries to pull back and not seem as affected as he is#theyre a very cuddly family but mind you they can be actually mean to each other like that!!
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heyyyy *leans on old halo art i never posted*
#my art#fanart#digital art#sketch#halo game#halo fanart#master chief#cortana#thel vadam#fernando esparza#echo-216#sangheili#orbital drop shock trooper#jameson locke#edward buck#kelly-087#frederic-104#linda-058#the weapon halo#theres a role reversal au where cortana is the spartan and chief is the ai. left out the art where i drew him with cortana's markings#another au where a destiny ghost revives sam. not sure where i was gonna go with that one tbh; but it was some good value practice#and that fantasy au i got frustrated on. i couldnt decide about the armor and other things but it was very fun overall#maybe i'll revisit it someday and hash the details out#and some sangheili practice which i still dont understand their anatomy (。_。)#ok i think thats it. heres to more halo art this year 💪
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CHRIS REDFIELD —Code: Veronica X
#resident evil code veronica#code veronica#chris redfield#gamingedit#reviledit#my edits#I think this is a very underrated Chris and design tbh#(i've been trying to gif this specific scene of Chris for like... a month and trying to colour it has been very frustrating)#(so it's getting posted anyways even though I'm not 100% on it)
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snow over cold wires / nerine sarniensis
#scanned a file folder of old drawings and symbols that I was making during overnight shifts at a job that I really hated#I’m fucking w/ them digitally rn while my mind sorts itself; more otw probably#life is busy but the Itch remains in the back of my mind. It’s been frustrating me lately though#my desire to create has outpaced my skills. I want to learn more; practice new things — so difficult parsing out where to place my attention#can someone smart teach me how to articulate my desire for growth. so I can make a plan or smthn#but tbh I’d need to be independently wealthy or a very smart 10 year old to have the time to commit to learning new skills#*multi-facted* new skills tbf#my art#glitch art#aesthetic#art#artwork#webcore#internetcore#glitchcore#abstract#artists on tumblr
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see like the thing with 'carewhumpers' as a concept to me is it just like... i know this is prrrrobably not really how it's meant but something skeeves me out about the idea that kindness or caretaking mixed in with hurting someone can somehow meaningfully complicate or dilute the harm done to the point of making that character no longer a 'whumper' whereas someone doing the same 'bad' things but not ever being gentle or caring for them would just be a straight-out whumper. when like... that's how 90% of irl abuse dynamics work? so i just... don't really get the point, i guess. like to me it implies something about the 'care' provided somehow mitigating or combating the harm done that. i just do not personally appreciate or enjoy.
#gav gab#just thinking out loud#like i don't think that's 'nuance' or 'grey characters' i think that's just an extremely common and typical dynamic of abuse#someone breaking your nose and then cleaning up the blood and tucking you into bed is not less like#violent or abusive or harmful than someone who just stops at breaking your nose yk#and i think that it can successfully be summarized by any number of other ways?#carewhumper is just not useful or meaningful shorthand to me the way caretaker/whumper/whumpee are#it implies that the word 'caretaker' or 'whumper' encompasses 100% of a person's constant behaviour#in a very flattened and simplistic way#please do not come at me about this im not saying this is how everyone means it this is just#how i personally feel about it#due to the way i approach these words#and im not trying to say anyone CANT write about very typical abusive dynamics#im just saying the elements of like. 'good' behaviour or 'kind' treatment#doesn't make the Bad Part any less real or bad#the way that 'carewhumper' being set as a different or distinct thing than 'whumper' implies to me#i just feel insane whenever i see people using the term tbh like this is probably a me thing#a very stupid distinction to get hung up on#but i just. im always like isn't that just a whumper who's nice sometimes#what is the utility of this word if not to imply that#someone being nice sometimes meaningfully combats how cruel they are other times#what part of 'whumper' means they always have to be violent and awful 24/7#and do not take this to mean caretakers are never allowed to fuck up#or do anything wrong or get frustrated#or anything like that but that is like#very distinct from being a whumper of any kind at all#like the idea that a 'whumper' can only be 100% a sadist who means to cause harm and intends to cause harm every time is like#cmon now
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also i think if roleswap laios and canon laios met theyd immediately start fighting.
#canon laios would blurt out 'why do you look like our dad' and fisticuffs ensue.#shuro........ is a little more complicated#if canon shuro doesnt think too hard about it and just treats the other him like a stranger then theres no problem#on the other hand i imagine he holds himself to high standards and if he sees his other self doing things he considers improper or uncouth.#i imagine hed only speak up if he saw it happen A Lot like hed pull him aside like hey... what the fuck#thered be a bit of 'holy shit i woulda turned out like THAT??' on both sides#roleswap shuro would often get frustrated but i think hed understand that like. thats how the culture is like he lived it too#but i think similarly hed watch laios steamroll og shuro and eventually be like. DUDE. just say something#shorter fuse lmao. anyways still turning this AU over in my head#how much more forward can shuro be before hes unbelievably out of character...#and what if they switched universes!!!!#if laios switched. it would be immediately obvious something is up in the og universe but it may be chalked up to like#a weird mood..... though maybe the party starts to wonder 'hey... is it not possible this is a shapeshifter' 😭#but og laios in the roleswap universe...#tbh havent thought too hard on what the party dynamics in that universe might be like assuming all else is the same save for the roleswap#i imagine chilchuck would still get on alright as long as hes being paid upfront and laios is still attentive/ recognises his abilities#and limitations also. marcille................................... hmm#she might treat him more formally and be less close.... may perceive him as more threatening at first meeting#(in terms of like. 'taking falin away' i mean if that makes sense)#but well. u kno how in canon laios Does notice a lot of things about his companions and has a very pragmatic view that surprises them#and they dont tend to notice until he says it aloud because its often overlooked cos of his. everything else.#well. id imagine roleswap laios still notices things but simply would not say it aloud.#the party would also be like .. dude... did he hit his head#if SHURO swapped...................... well it depends when exactly it happened#i imagine it could be a bigger issue with the retainers#im losing steam cos my lower back hurt so bad adgfsdfg i cant get a good position on this chair#but for shuro himself i imagine it would be nightmarish lmao.#roleswap (henceforth RS) shuro would wake up as an adult with the retainers like. ??? was that all a dream?? did i never make it out#meanwhile og shuro ending up god knows where..........#if he ended up with the retainers again he might not immediately realise somethings amiss and try to act normally
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"My father says you have been my friend. You came back for me." "You would have done the same for me."
oils on paper, A4
#i ... slapped some paint on the paper#let's see what it looks like when it's dry#tbh i almost threw it in the trash after twenty minutes because nothing seemed to work and i was getting very frustrated#but i kept going and i’m so glad i did because then i started to have a lot of fun and i really like the end result#also: when i showed this to my father his only comment was “why is spock wearing a bathrobe”#but hey at least he recognised him#laurie tries new stuff#laurie's ongoing adventure: messing around with oils#star trek#star trek tos#the search for spock#star trek fanart#traditional art#traditional fanart#oils#oil painting#jim kirk#spock#my art#my st art
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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[Immediately after Fit brutally roasted a chatter for being a filthy metagamer]
Dono: You became my comfort streamer. It has been great here.
Fit: Oh, thank you so much, thank you thank you thank you. I'm glad I can bring you comfort when I insult the sht out of some chatters, I'm glad I can comfort you. That's right!
Fit: People say I'm nice, no, I'm not nice. I'm polite. Mostly. There's a difference between being nice and being polite, I am polite. I am polite.
#FitMC#QSMP#Fit#February 11 2024#Top 10 FitMC moments tbh#I have been extremely annoyed / easily frustrated by large parts of the community as a whole lately#(not streamer specific and no specific thing really just all chats & fans being varying degrees of insufferable / annoying and it piling up#to the point where I've considered taking a step away from the series#But Fit's been nice to watch because he doesn't let dumb stuff slide lmao#maybe I'm just getting too old for this#still love the series I just don't want to interact with the chat or fandom much anymore#anyways Fit's voice saying the ''I'm not nice I'm polite. Mostly'' line is very good
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tbh the thing I wind up thinking about the most when watching Villainess Level 99 is how it would look as an actual game where you play as Alicia.
Not the original Light Magic and the Hero where Yumiella's this mean rival girl, but a version of Light Magic and the Hero where Yumiella does indeed appear to the player as this terrifying shadowy mass (who everyone else seems to perceive as human, albeit a creepy looking human based on their reactions) and acts stoically unhinged and focused entirely on leveling up, and every time you try to interact with her there's like a 9 in 10 chance that one of the love interests will show up to interrupt the interaction.
Like I just wonder how that would feel to the average player.
#villainess level 99#tbh i assume there would be a decent chunk of people trying to get on the 'befriend yumiella' route#and getting very frustrated at how the game keeps trying to drag them back onto one of the romance routes
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after attempting to commission art of boba fett without his helmet, i am forced to consider that a good number of artists, subconsciously or not, cannot accept that temuera morrison has always been hot despite his lack of european features, and honestly this explains a lot about the fucking travesty that is every single clone's face in TCW and TBB
#me: okay here is a reference image of young temuera morrison#the artist‚ without fail: /outputs image of a man with a chiseled jaw‚ narrow nose‚ and prominent cheekbones#me: ...who tf is this#i was literally spending hours trying to edit the images to look more like morrison#rounding out the jaw‚ making the nose bigger‚ completely redrawing the eyebrows etc#and i spent a lot of those hours wondering if this explained why the clones look Like That in TCW and TBB#i think it might be tbh#i feel it's kind of like when an artist has a preconceived notion of a hand#and that makes it much harder for them to draw a hand that actually resembles a hand#artists/animators have a preconceived notion of handsomeness#which includes features like a chiseled jaw and prominent cheekbones‚ etc#so they see temuera morrison. they see that he is hot. so they draw him with those ''hot'' features even though he doesn't have them#it's very frustrating to see‚ esp in some of the most popular SW media of the last decade#boba fett#temuera morrison#bit of a vent post
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merfolk in general are just. horrible horrible polyglots. their brains are already hardwired for language and quick language acquisition that remains active all their lives, further helped by retaining a high neural plasticity for their long lives, and especially enjoy complex language and language-based play and problem solving. but they also tend to have a lot of their society arranged where there's often multiple different languages at play within the same area, and only really stops being so once you get into especially small villages that have below the merfolk norm for outside contact. every merfolk alive today knows at least two languages, but most of them know far more than that, especially because one of those two will be the common-technical language. its been standardized and wide-scale implemented across the merkingdom after their dominance, to help bridge the gap between these different languages, basically as a successful version of esperanto. but its a trade language, and is mostly used for information you might want to reach as many people as possible, such as laws or business dealings or public announcements or the like. most merfolk don't view it as and don't treat it as a language proper, and its not what they prefer to converse in if they have another choice, usually finding it pretty limiting and restrictive, which is why its called common-technical.
miranda, being a royal who is regularly in contact with many different people around the merkingdom and regularly expected to be fully able to converse with them to do her job, knows just. so many languages. i might be changing exactly how many soon, but last time i counted it was in the low teens. like its just a perfect storm of her brain being wired for swift language acquisition and having a job that requires it and a position that means shes constantly around people from all around the merkingdom. not to mention having to know english too, which isn't just not her first language, it's not even her fourth language.
meanwhile, aaravi knows english and a little bit of hindi, less because of her mother and moreso because of her nana... its not that her mother never used it with her, but she was. less focused on using it or teaching aaravi, let's say. nana mishra uses it a lot more and is more interested in teaching aaravi when she asks her, especially in the intermittent period after her mom died and nana mishra was able to come back into her life to help aaravi pick up the pieces (though not after aaravi kind of. got left on her own. for an unfortunate amount of time). its just also fallen by the wayside with aaravi's whole Everything Else and kind of having a hard time accepting her nana's help and kind of being terrified of her (of no fault of her nana's, aaravi's just. she's just really traumatized after Everything, alright. having someone try to offer her help afterwards, especially when aaravi's scared of getting singled out as half human and half monster, is just. it's not something she can bring herself to trust.)
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#aaravi doesn't trust people doesn't like people doesn't want to be around people#there's a reason she and miranda mutually trusted each other more in immediately having an antagonistic relationship#and its because she just can NOT trust any freely offered help#it HAS to come with a stipulation or a catch#and it was easier if she felt like miranda was presenting the catch upfront#like say what you will about miranda#but she IS someone who screams ''you CANNOT trust me'' on first brush#and exactly in the way you expect: the merkingdom#its not very hidden at all its just not clear which WAY itll fuck someone up#which is ironically also why miri gets frustrated if she feels like someone trusts her too immediately#because like#its right there#can you not figure it out. do you not realize shes got other stuff attached to her. that you shouldnt fall for the bait immediately.#can you not see the hook she'll catch you on. can you not even see her for that much that she is.#this isnt against her role as a royal its a part of it too tbh#the image she presents is very much intentionally both alluring and threatening#awe and fear you know#the royal family wants to be beautiful and great and impressive and far more than you will ever be#and they want you to know if you step a toe out of line they will destroy you utterly and parade your corpse through the streets#its not a paradox its very intentional to keep people on a leash#its just the landfolk who seem to forget that her position as princess is also an implicit threat#which is all distinct from when she wants to be silly and carefree and just maybe. free from that need to always behave properly.#which ironically aaravi also seems to hit far more accurately than anyone else#because she doesnt just want to discard the latter. she wants to discard the former too.#which is why aaravi often teases her at the same time and pokes and prods her#its a playful vulnerability you know. if shes not being threatening shes not being too impressive to touch either.#she wants to roll on the ground and for you to call her so pretty and a silly princess and to get lightly wrestled#you know. its two different things.
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Can i be real for a sec? When I come on here I feel like Hickey during the boat scene just shouting incoherent stuff and sharing his weird takes but instead it's my paragraph long explanations on any given subject that no one asked for and the niche fanart i throw at you and yall are are my personal mutineer crew but instead of throwing up and shouting back yall cheer and support me agsghsjs
#hope this isnt too personal#but it feels kind of surreal being this micro celebrity on here#i mean the fandom is pretty small#very much active yes but small#and i come on here yap for half an hour can yall eat it up#couldnt be more grateful tbh bc irl people looove to talk over me#idk if its disrespect or if i just speak in a low voice but its really frustrating#so thank you my little mutineers <3#all 400 of you wtf where did yall come from#frogger says stuff
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so sorry to make a post like this but i hate when people express that there’s a lack of fluff/angst or a lack of writing for a certain character and proceed to interact with everything but that or just don’t interact at all :/ as if it's so easy for authors to write and especially have the heart to SHARE it in the first place
#or they blatantly disregard new authors/authors who aren’t as popular because apparently we don’t exist and aren’t worthy of anything#i can’t even begin to explain how insulting and frustrating this is#it’s very lonely on here tbh i feel like i’m speaking into the void#why am i having to jump through hoops to not feel this way :<#ik i won’t make it far as a sfw blog on tumblr lmfao but the demand to interaction ratio is very off and that’s what’s upsetting#but honestly if you’re going to complain so much you might as well write ts yourself or just shut the fuck up#“the tags are so dry 🤓🤓🤓” then go fix it janice
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Okay. Welp that’s enough online harassment! If you are gonna harass me then you are gonna have to say it with your chest. If you are gonna question my faith question it with your chest!
I can’t believe a freaking Christmas post got this out of hand yet here we are. DMs are off for the foreseeable future and Asks are off anonymous. I get a decent amount of really sweet DMs and asks, some of which are genuinely asking for resources, so I feel bad but I can’t take this anymore and I want to have a peaceful Christmas.
#it’s already hard enough not being able to celebrate in the ways I feel comfortable#and having to hide part of my faith during this holiday#I don’t need internet harassment as the cherry on-top#probably gonna take a break till after Christmas tbh#Not to go on a rant here but I am just very frustrated#progressive christianity#christian witch#tw rant
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"i'm not bad at this language, i'm just bad at social interaction, promise": a neurodivergent language learner's catchphrase
#give me three minutes to sort my sentences into the right order and you'll get them in either english or irish#put me on the spot however and you're getting fuck all tbh#langblr#languages#i feel like i didn't make a very good impression these last couple of weeks#in that everyone would've thought i knew less than i do#and I'm also frustrated with myself for not being able to speak more#but i was fully on the verge of shutdown most days. i think I'm still too fatigued from the insane past month I've had#i went into this exhausted and mentally broken#also it doesn't really matter what other people thought of me#but it feels like it matters and that's weird and painful and annoying#because i think i was misinterpreted by everyone who met me this week#(gender. irish level. interest level. friendliness. humour.)#and i think they might've liked the real me better but i lacked the spoons to convey myself
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