#it's tragic but also unfortunately very funny

[dont-offend-the-bees]

This is not to detract in any way from the homophobia of Edwin's era or the bullying that killed him, both of which are very real and tragic things, but it's very funny on a rewatch when you know what Simon's Deal is and you see him approach Edwin in that flashback with what is, retrospectively, obvious nervous smitten puppydog vibes and Edwin just legs it. It's giving Goob energy.

[wildgeese98]

It's kind of unfortunate that the only bit of characterization for original! Elias that's widely talked about is him being a stoner. It's true that for a long time that's literally the only thing we got. One funny throwaway line. But we do learn a bit more in mag 193 (one of my favorite s5 episodes incidentally) and it makes him a much more interesting and tragic character.

Elias was an aimless rich kid trying and failing to live up to his father's high expectations for him. He was raised to believe that he deserved success and power simply because of the family he was born into. It's implied that this alienated him from his peers leaving him incredibly isolated. It probably also meant he didn't have a lot of control over his own life, following the path he was expected to rather than what he acctually wanted. Even before being marked by the Eye he probably felt like was constantly watched and judged, and found wanting.

The statement draw heavy parallels between original! Elias and Jon. In fact the line between them gets very blurred as Jon "plays" Elias in the statement and Elias's VA plays Jonah in the body of James Wright. Jon and Elias are both parallels and opposites. They were both marked and drawn to the Institute by that mark.

Elias had the conviction that he was destined to be important and he was right the most perverse, twisted way possible. He was only ever there to be used and used completely. To the point were he ceased to be, leaving only his body to puppeted by Jonah.

Jon had no such conviction, and yet he became literally the most import person in the world. But that was only after being moulded and completely reshaped by Jonah. He in a way lost almost as much autonomy and control of his body as Elias did. Though he at least got to keep his mind, for the most part.

This has gotten away from me a bit, but the point remains. Elias, like a lot of TMA characters, is a fascinating person who we only get to see brief snatches of. I think about him a lot. I especially think about how horrifying it must have been to realize, for the briefest moment, that his mind and body were being completely taken over, right before his consciousness was snuffed out.

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Can I please have an order of time traveling Stiles but with a twist.

Stiles is in the present time, and is a spark training after Deaton after his mother died and he never knew his father . One night in the clinic he gets attacked and so he runs the nemeton and begs it to take him somewhere safe.

It boots him years in the past, to the Hale dynasty right in the middle of Derek Hale bride choosing ceremony.

Derek is absolutely confused but takes this as a sign from the goddess that this man is to be his, and to be honest he doesn’t want to marry any of the girls brought before him. Peter is absolutely ecstatic to have a spark in the family. Stiles is so confused to see his favourite history figure standing over him. Stiles gets adopted by captain of the guard Stilinski, whom he shares a scary similar likeness with. 

Cue Derek trying to woo a very confused stiles with a language barrier. Honestly stiles is such a little shit whenever anyone his pissing him off he switches from English (which everyone is slowly picking up on) to polish. (Jokes on Derek, stiles has been dying to fuck him since he found his picture in a history book)

And stiles is trying to save Derek from his untimely and tragic death. The Nemeton that sent him back is the same one on Hale lands and is cheering him on. Everyone is in awe of the mythical figure who can talk and lecture the deity tree.

Unfortunately for Derek because stiles is not officially his others are allowed to approach him. They get him gifts and things so Derek being Derek, goes out and hunts a mythical beast and brings it to stiles. Stiles freak the fuck out (in happiness) because this mythical creature is super useful in potions.

I would also like a side of strong menace stiles, Wolfy and possessive Derek. Just overall everyone is absolutely in love and impressed by stiles thanks. maybe omegaverse??

Now I can’t decide if they are soulmate separated by time, or if the nemeton really liked the Hales and wanted a happier ending and when it saw stiles was like ooh freebie, or the nemeton was bored and was like “this would be funny”

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi! last anon here again. i won't go over all your advice here, and there's some i disagree with, but i have found it helpful and insightful as a whole, so thank you. i don't know if you actually wanted clarification on these things, but i figured it would be worth providing in case you genuinely wanted it.

straps as female disidentification - i do see it as different from other sex aids; it's partially about not imposing man/woman sex dynamics on sex between women, and also that as part of recovering from trans identity i've been encouraged to disengage with any practices, thoughts, or self-beliefs that represent false consciousness/male identification, and that includes a desire to have a penis/penetrate women/take the male role, and replace that with meditation and mindfulness. unfortunately i suck at meditation so i haven't gotten anywhere. i see it more as a behavioural problem than an object problem; it's unhealthy because it's a maladaptive coping mechanism about reality; i don't have a penis and can never have one and pretending i do during intimacy is hurting a theoretical sex partner.

female infantilization - this is about the bush thing; attraction to shaved vulvas is dysfunctional and unnatural.

being put off women's bodies - again this is a dysphoria thing mostly. i like how pretty much all women's bodies look, particularly femmes, and before radfem stuff i mostly just felt horny seeing nude women, but being in an environment that's very focused on the importance of reproductive organs and secondary sex characteristics to female identity has involuntarily caused me to fixate on this; when i see a woman naked i end up thinking about her uterus and the size of her breasts and her hips in relation to passing; i know that things like testosterone/hysterectomies/double masectomies/binding are really unhealthy for you physically and psychologically now, so seeing a woman's body makes me uncomfortable now because i just feel a kind of despair that if she has big breasts or big hips she'll never be able to pass for male without hurting herself and if she has small breasts or hips she got lucky with natural androgyny and she's wasting it, either way neither her or me have any way out of this and we're female forever. which is not very arousing.

once again, thank you for your advice. it's definitely given me a lot to think about (and read). i appreciate you hearing me out.

I'm actually stoked for a response, because these clarifications are very illuminating and genuinely so saddening to read.

that entire paragraph about disavowing the strap is genuinely tragic to me, as an advocate that people should just fuck however they want to fuck. you'd think if womanhood was such an innate and unchangeable thing then a fake dong wouldn't have the power to somehow impose manhood in a relationship between women, but I guess the strap is more powerful than I realized. I would love to know if this applies to fingering, given that you can't really argue that fingers are specific to any gender, or women who use straps to peg their male partners.

being told to meditate instead of want to fuck women is so funny, it's really giving 15th century nunnery.

you may not have been born with a penis but it is just literally a factual reality that you could have on if you wanted; regardless of what radfems think of it, phalloplasty is a very real surgery that can in fact produce a sexually functional penis that many people are extremely satisfied with.

okay sure super normal to fixate on someone's uterus.

I do actually very seriously need to correct this part: testosterone/hysterectomies/double mastectomies/binding are not unhealthy. they're healthcare, and the people who benefit from them - which, reminder, is not only trans people - tend to experience tremendous boosts to their physical and mental health because of it. there's nothing radical at all about opposing people's rights to determine what they do with their own bodies, and between that and the hyperfixation on reproductive organs you sound /this/ close to explaining why women shouldn't be allowed to get abortions.

in the politest way possible if looking at women makes you sad because it reminds you of your own dysphoria, you need to get out of radfem spaces and start hanging with some trans people who can help you figure some stuff out and help you envision a future where you don't fear your own body and sexuality.

[maleyanderecafe]

Symptoms of Deceit (Visual Novel)

Created by: strawberry squid

Genre: Horror/Mystery

Symptoms of Deciet has some very fun world building considering that people are generally associated with different animals, along with a yandere of which asks you to stab him to prove his loyalty to you (which we don't do. Coward). This is an r18 demo, so while there are a lot of interesting things that set up the world, it has yet to be completed. Still, I think it's a good start for an interesting world. If you are interested, you can find out more at @symptomsofdeceit.

The story starts out pretty simply with Ariel working at their job as a secretary for Willani Epidemiology Lab. After some clicking around, we learn a bit more about their favorite drinks amongst other things. After looking through their phone and seeing some news about a disease that is affecting sea star based humans. We are then startled by Nalis who scares us playfully. After talking about the disease that is spreading to sea star base humans, our boss, Tremo seems to interrupt, pulling Nalis away from Ariel. Ariel is a bit off put by Tremo's sudden change in personality, seeing as she's almost never acted in such an irritated way however, shrugs it off to the stress she likely has thanks to the new disease.

After work, Ariel leaves and returns to their apartment, meeting a new person who has just moved in. Being a new neighbour, he asks to exchange phone numbers with Ariel.

Accepting this will lead to him introducing himself as Thaumo. While going in, Thaumo offers to walk them to their room, being persistant and worrying that there might be insects or other things going on. Ariel relents and the two go back to their respective rooms where Ariel can text both, one or neither of Thaumo and Nalis (sorry that sentence was kind of confusing). Nalis's responses are more playful and teasing while Thaumo is more sweet and cutesy.

After heading to work, Ariel can choose to text Nalis about being late.

If they do, then Nalis will text back with a cute and funny little emote before arriving on time and giving Ariel their favorite drink.

Ariel spots Tremo and greets her, however when asking about yesterday's conversation with Nalis, Tremo seems very visibly confused and tells Ariel that she didn't talk to Nalis after work at all and leaves, leaving Ariel to be kind of confused. Nearing lunchtime, Ariel spots Nalis passing by and also gets a text from Thaumo. They can either choose to talk to Nalis or text Thaumo back.

Texting Thaumo back will lead to him inviting Ariel to a nearby cafe for pastries. The two will talk about the cat cafe nearby and how even though Thaumo likes cats, they don't tend to like him nor do other animals, despite what kind of cute methods he tries to get them to come to him. The two of them also talk about his biology, learning about his blue blush, three hearts and copper based blood. During this time, Ariel gets a call from Tremo asking about specific documents while he sticks Ariel's fork in his mouth. Unfortunately, this means that Ariel has to go back to work suddenly thanks to the call as someone from the Beuro is there. Unforutnately by the time they get back, Tremo tells him that they have already left, and Ariel seems a bit saddened that they didn't really tell them about it. Ariel is then invited into a group chat with Nalis, Tremo, Thaumo and Dr. Willani, who as it turns out is one of the benefactors of the institution that Ariel works at. Ariel talks to Nalis and after a confusing conversation about the fact that Nalis and Ariel didn't talk the day before, the two talk about BERE whom is going to investigate their workplace.

While walking home, Ariel runs into Thaumo who is outside and was late to going to the Ariel's workplace before it suddenly started raining. Ariel ends up walking Thaumo back to their apartment and starts to read an article about the CEO of Orca Finance and his tragic accident, only to see Thaumo in this article as well. After going to work, Nalis invites everyone to go to an arcade, though Thaumo seems to fight against this. Ariel can then choose whether to go to the arcade with them or not.

Denying it will have Thaumo visit later in the day with the two talking about the article that Ariel read last night, with Thaumo reassuring that the Orca Fiance (the one supporting their lab) will not pull out their research fund before the two of them go to the lunch room to eat. There, the two end up seeing Nalis in the breakroom and Ariel can feel the tension between them. Ariel can then ask Nalis about his day. After watching Thaumo provoking Nalis, Ariel can also ask about what Thaumo is trying to pull.

Afterwards, it sees Thaumo got kicked out by Nalis and Nalis warns Ariel about a body down in their path, as they think about how the starfish disease is spreading quite quickly. While walking into the alleyway, Ariel recognizes a voice from one of her coworkers at the lab, as well as Nalis, the two of them fighting. Unable to ignore this, Ariel walks into the alleyway, and sees the so called Nalis turn into Thaumo before killing the coworker. Ariel tries to back out, but Nalis promises that he won't hurt Ariel before realizing that they don't remember him. They recount a memory together back when they were children, with him stating it's the reason for his living, as he had nothing else that seemed to matter. Ariel can try to give him some mini therapy, but he will still refuse to let go, even allowing Ariel to stab one of his three hearts, which we don't (coward). He talks about in the past years he's been able to push his body to the point of being able to do things a mimic octopus shouldn't be able to do, such as mimic other's appearances and voices perfectly, not being able to die if Ariel were to stab him in the heart amongst other things. Thaumo ends up letting Ariel go, warning them that if they do try to call for help or the police, Thaumo would end up just getting rid of them.

Ariel ends up going home, and seems to have a really difficult time trying to recall the memories of Thaumo, leading to a headache. Thaumo ends up crawling up into their apartment where you can throw things at him or be angry at him. Depending on actions you can also end up teasing him by sitting in his lap and kissing his cheek or just telling him that you'll walk with him to work. You do get to text him if Ariel decides not to sit in his lap, with an option to threaten to kick has ass or ignore him.

There are some other endings such as favoring Nalis will end with Thaumo breaking into the apartment at the end, only this time as Nalis, and acting as him (or at least, that's what we believe). Nalis will instead force Ariel to swallow drugs. After passing out Nalis (it is actually Nalis, not Thaumo) confesses that he too feels empty and hates the fact that he has feelings for Ariel. He decides to lean into it, and play around with it, hoping that he will get all good and bad emotions directed at him.

As well as attempting to call Nalis, only to have Thaumo catch Ariel, and pretend to be them, getting Nalis to hang up. We learn that he can also spawn tentacles out of him, much like a cuttlefish would. They have to reluctantly get along with Thaumo regardless.

There is an end credit scene where we get to see an event based on the childhood memory that first made Thaumo attached to Ariel. There is a boy that tries to wake Ariel up, only for Thaumo to stop him. The boy is a sea star type, with him seemingly infected by the disease that was talked about throughout the game, even telling Thaumo that he will for sure die. This brings Thaumo happiness then sadness as he is happy that he will be alone with Ariel but is sad that Ariel might be disheartened at this. When looking at Ariel, the boy states he doesn't want to die alone, with Thaumo finding an excuse to kill him as a result.

First of all, I got to say, I love the idea of having each character have a marine animal associated to them, being able to have certain powers that come with that animal is really neat. Even side characters, like the coworker that Thaumo kills has the ability to harden like a sea cucumber (which is his main animal), which really comes to focus. It's nice that the character designs also correspond to that in some way, like Thaumo and Nalis's eyes or blush color being similar to the mimic octopus and cuttlefish respectively. You can tell that this creator really has a love for marine biology, which you can see in this game. It's always really cool when you can feel the love and knowledge of a topic shine through in the game, since you can really feel that they clearly know a lot about it. I think the touch of being able to change the UI color in the beginning is really neat, along with the hearts that hang on the side to indicate how much affection Thaumo and Nalis have for Ariel is a good touch. The ability to choose the kind of backstory you want with Thaumo is always a good way to add some more customization in the game. I am a little worried about the possible scope of this game considering that it seems like there is also female yanderes planned for this game, but I'm sure that has never stopped other yandere game developers. It has a nice cutesy vibe to it thanks to the UI, backgrounds and character designs. Ariel as a main character I feel is nice as well, and I do like that they have a job relating to the main ideas of the game, namely marine animal research. In this case, they are just the front desk, but it is nice to see them interact with other characters in the lab as well. Hopefully we can see more of their interactions, maybe they get to be a lab member in the future? I think that would be cool. I've also heard we get to choose the type of marine animal that we would be associated with in the future. Personally I'd love to have some sort of shark as the animal of choice, but I guess we'll see. I think it could add some interesting abilities to the characters in terms of flavor text or even change how Ariel looks (like different blush colors like the rest of the cast or changes appearances like frown for shark based characters. Listen, I just think sharks are neat.)

Okay, time to start out talking about the two yanderes in this game, Thaumo and Nalis. We'll talk about Thaumo first because he's more prominent in this game as of now. Thaumo as a yandere is very clingy and is willing to be hurt by Ariel, so basically a pathetic meow meow of a yandere, which of course is one of my favorite types of yanderes. He seems to have been trying to find Ariel for a while now and when he does, he turns into various other characters to watch over them. You actually can see this in game, such as when Tremo is acting strangely in the very beginning, seemingly angry at Nalis while complimenting Ariel, or even when Ariel tries to talk to Nalis, only to find that he's been acting very strange. It's a neat detail that you don't really notice too much on your first play through if you're not paying attention, but is cool to see on consequential ones. I do kind of wish it had more significance to the character's actions, other than, "huh, that was weird", but I think for a setup it's pretty neat. We can also see him licking a fork that Ariel was using while they're on the call with Tremo (which was driving me up the wall) and the fact that he actually did allow us to stab him in one of his hearts (even though we didn't, again, coward). He seems very powerful, being able to not only completely mimic not only the appearance but also their voice and demeanor. I'm not sure if that's an inherent thing he can do, where he can just naturally act like the person he's mimicking or if it's something he has to study and watch over for it to work. There's also the fact that he can regenerate his hearts, though if we were to somehow get rid of three of them, it's hard to say whether he would have lived or died in that case. It is also possible that the appearance of Thaumo we see now might not actually be what Thaumo looked like originally. I'm also curious if he was in any way involved with Ariel's memory loss in the past. What exactly makes Thaumo's memory with Ariel so special and why does he consider everything else in his life not as such? It's an interesting mystery.

Nalis on the other hand, we do get to see a lot of him as a friend towards Ariel, but we don't get to see nearly as many yandere moments. We do know that he is aware of Thaumo's ability to take on other people's shapes and forms (which, how does he know this? Who knows.) From what I can tell, he seems to be a reluctant yandere, having initally hated that he had fallen in love with Ariel in the first place, but has decided to go all in and try to get all of their emotions directed onto them, whether good or bad. It's kind of an interesting way of monopolizing all of a lover, at least in terms of a yandere, since I think most of the time yanderes usually prefer having a positive interaction with their love and avoid any bad ones. I'm not sure what his abilities are though (certainly related to a cuttlefish, but what exactly could it be), so perhaps it would be revealed in the future. Would be cool if it is actually in the current demo, it's just not something I knew or noticed. He is very playful towards Ariel while also being protective, coming off as the best friend kind of character, though it does also make me wonder how exactly Nalis fell in love with Ariel in the first place, as well as how demented his real personality is, considering that it seems he had some sort of plan that Ariel "ruined". It was very cool seeing Thaumos pretend to be Nalis in one of the break room scenes, since the sudden change of personality seems to have caught Nalis and Ariel off guard.

Overall, I think this game is a very solid start and has really interesting world building. I think that being able to see how the starfish disease affects the rest of the plot and how exactly the two yanderes Nalis and Thaumo ended up in this position of falling in love with Ariel. The character designs and artwork are all very great and I love the small customization that you can add to the UI. I think it could go one step further and maybe make the UI more marine themed? I dunno, just a thought. If you are interested in this game, please come and check it out.

[ourfleur]

「Better Than the Rest」 [Johnny Cage x Fem Reader]

Summary: Johnny allowing you to live with him after coming home from Outworld was a blessing and a curse. You loved it, but… you couldn’t ignore the problematic way your body felt when you looked at him. Stick to friendly flirting and fucking other people, for now…

Tags: johnny cage x fem reader, smut, pwp, masturbation, pet names, blowjob, friends to lovers, johnny being a cocky asshole (i say with love)

An: okay guys my bad for not posting forever… lets pretend something tragic happened to me so i have an excuse

follow my ao3

It had been about a month since you moved in with Johnny. After you both returned from Outworld you didn’t really have a place to stay anymore, and like the “gentleman” he is, he offered you his guest room.

Throughout the month you had been there the two of you became best friends, you pretty much shared everything with him and he did the same with you. But recently being divorced and now rooming with a very… attractive woman, things were hard for him. He couldn’t help but stare at you, cherish every time you touched him, or think about the sounds you made when you worked out late at night when he was trying to sleep. Everything you did replayed in Johnny's mind constantly.

And things weren't much different for you. Johnny was a dickhead but he was also a very charming, funny, attractive dickhead. You hadn’t laughed more in your life until you met Johnny. You also happened to not be able to take your eyes off him, your mind even started wandering to Johnny while you were touching yourself. You thought about it a lot, would he be gentle? rough? Would he whimper? moan? You couldn’t fight these thoughts. Of course they started plaguing you at the worst moments.

And this moment was no different. You and Johnny were sparing, you had been for at least 3 hours. You had been bested by him the last 2 rounds and were beginning to get annoyed. This time was the same unfortunately. Johnny had swept your feet out from underneath you, leading to him winning. You sighed, defeated. Johnny walked over to you, a cocky stupid smile on his dumb face. “Looks like I win again, see I told you, you can’t beat the Cage.” You rolled your eyes. “You only beat me because I let you.” Bitterness in your words. You finally looked up at him, glaring. He didn’t know why but the way you looked at him from beneath him made his dick twitch a bit. He cleared his throat, then helped you up. You groaned, your muscles sore from the amount of sparing you both did.

You both made your way over to your water bottles. Johnny couldn’t tear his eyes away from you though. His throat tightening as he scanned your body, watching as a bead of sweat rolled down your breasts and then disappearing into your sports bra. The way your hair looked, dishevelled from the sparing. Johnny could feel himself getting hard from just looking at you.

“Okay, fuck. This is my last round, my muscles are so sore.” You groaned, rubbing your neck. “And this time, I will beat you!” Johnny let out an exaggerated laugh. “Oh sureeeeee you will.” You rolled your eyes again, pissed by his stupid sarcastic comment. “No I will. Trust me, I’m gonna beat you so bad you’ll be whining about it for weeks.” A smirk on your face, you were determined to win. He laughed again, getting into position. This time you wouldn’t let him best you. You went at him with full force, dodging his quick punches and landing a few of your own. After a few more minutes of you dodging and hitting him back, Johnny found an opening and was able to knock you off your feet. Immediately getting on top of you, and pinning your hands above you. “So, do you give?” You could see a smile forming as the words left his lips. “Fuck that.” before he could respond you wrapped your legs around his torso and flipped him.

You were sat on his bare stomach, your hands on his chest. Johnny couldn’t believe it, one that you beat him, and two, that you were sitting on top of him. You both stayed in the position silent for longer than you should’ve… eventually you broke the ice. “So…” you said through pants, “Do you give?” He groaned, “Fine. Whatever you win, dumb luck.” You smiled, but still didn’t move, wanting to cherish the feeling of his abs on your clothed pussy. A few seconds after you finally snapped out of it, quickly moving off him and getting up. An awkward laugh escaped your lips and you mumbled a small ‘sorry’ before walking away.

Johnny couldn’t believe what just happened, but what he did know is that he needed to take care of his little problem asap. His dick was so hard it was painful, he was even a little surprised at how you didn’t notice it while you were on top of him. You gathered up your things, turning back to Johnny. “I’m gonna go have a shower, don’t cry too hard about losing.” You giggled before turning and leaving. As soon as you got back to your room you let out a long exhale. Your panties were soaked and you were so turned on you could barely think. Grabbing a change of clothes and a towel, you left your bedroom and made your way to the bathroom.

You were so excited to not only wash off the sweat from your skin but also to get some alone time. You were so sexually pent up and you needed a release. You had been feeling like that for so long and you would often go out and find someone to hook up with, sadly none of those hookups gave you what you need. You’d often find yourself getting home from a hookup and complaining to Johnny about how mediocre it was, and wishing for someone to just fuck you right. But nevertheless that wish still hasn’t come true, so you’re left to your own devices.

You turned on the water, stripping your clothes off and stepping into the hot water. Taking in the warmth of the water, your hand made its way down to your clit. Rubbing small circles you couldn’t help but whimper. Your mind filling with images of Johnny, and thoughts of what he would do to you. Your other hand slowly entering your cunt. You tried your best to keep your moans quiet, but the more you thought about what Johnny’s dick would taste like as you fucked your face on it, what his nose would feel like on your clit as you sat on his face, what his tongue would feel like as he lapped at your folds, the more you couldn’t hold back. His name leaving your lips as you sped your fingers up. You could feel the knot forming in your stomach as you reached your orgasm. Yelling his name a bit too loud for comfort. You finished up your shower and wrapped the towel around yourself, hoping and praying Johnny didn’t hear your… exclamation.

As you leaned over the sink to start on your skin care you noticed a text on your phone. ‘Hey, u free tonight?’ It was a text from one of your former hookups. You thought about it for a second, you were still so turned on despite your shower endeavour that a one night stand might be just what you need. Sure they weren’t the best in bed but you were kind of desperate. ‘Yeah, meet you at the usual bar in an hour and a half’ You felt kind of pathetic for giving it up so easily, usually you were the type to play hard to get, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

You left the bathroom, quickly going to find Johnny to tell him you were leaving. Entering the living room you could see Johnny sat on the couch watching one of his own movies. “Hey Johnny.” His head turned to you as you spoke. He was quite the womanizer but when it came to you, you always left him speechless. His eyes glued to your barely covered figure.”Wait… are you watching your own fucking move?” You chuckled, “Yeah, I gotta make sure my performance was top tier, it’s why i’m the best” Johnny responded, the cocky tone in his voice unmistakable. “Anyways… so y’know that guy I told you about?” Johnny chuckled, “You’re gonna need to be more specific.” Your name rolling off his tongue. “Okay the one that was able to make me cum” you smiled, you were so comfortable with Johnny that telling him things like this didn’t bother you at all. For Johnny though, it was another story. He hated hearing about all the mediocre sex you were having. Often thinking about how much better he could treat you. But he is an actor so whenever you told him about your encounters he would do what he does best, act his ass off.

“Ah, gotcha.” He nodded, “So, let me guess, you need me to pick you up if anything goes wrong?” , “Bingo! Thanks so much Johnny, you’re the best!” You smiled brightly before bidding him farewell to go get ready. Johnny quickly taking in the view before you disappeared behind the walls. He sighed, thinking about you. Unbeknownst to you, Johnny had walked past the bathroom door as you yelled his name. He couldn’t believe what he heard. He needed to be sure, so even though every part of his body was telling him to move on, he pressed his ear against the door. Through it he heard many small whimpers and moans, all muffled by the sound of the water, along with you whining his name. Johnny’s lips slowly forming into a satisfied smirk, this was an ego boost beyond any other. But after hearing that, he could barely function. He was so horny he was losing it, attempting to put on a movie to distract himself from how hard he was. When he saw you though, only in a towel, leaving so little to the imagination… he knew he needed to deal with the problem you made.

He made his way to his own room. Stripping himself of his clothes, he moved to his bed. His tip leaking with precum. He brought his hand to his aching cock, stroking it slowly. Sometimes he felt like you messed with him on purpose, but this time… no way. That just made him needier. He sped up his strokes, imagining what you would look like stuffed with his dick. His head fell back, his groans becoming louder. What he would give to taste you, fuck you, love you. It was all too much, the idea of you was too much. Before he knew it, he came. Thick white ropes spilling over his abs while he groaned at the thought of you. Johnny cleaned himself up, and changed, not wanting to risk being caught by you.

You were kind of rushing to get ready, your makeup a bit messy and your hair refusing to stay in place. Sure this was a guy you’ve seen a few times but still, you wanted to look hot. You let out a frustrated groan while going through your closet. You had plenty of clothes but none of them seemed to be what you wanted, until you came across a dress you hadn’t worn in forever. Your fingers brushed along the seam of a short red dress, it was exactly what you needed. The moment you put on the dress you inspected yourself in the mirror. Black lace lining the top of the dress. It was a little short but you were only really gonna be at the bar for a little bit before you leave and get that dress stripped off of you. Not long after you grabbed some heels and your bag and were ready to go, texting your fling that you were leaving. “Okay Johnny I’m leaving! don’t have too much fun without me!” You giggled, Johnny only catching a glance at you before you were out the door.

It had been about 5 hours since you left and Johnny was so close to falling asleep. Just when his eyes closed he heard his phone ding. An annoyed ‘what’ coming out of his mouth before he turned over and checked his phone. Surprisingly it was a text from you, it wasn’t rare for you to text him to come save you in the middle of the night if a hookup had gone bad but he wasn’t expecting it tonight. Mostly because you seemed to really like this guy, and because of this Johnny felt a little happy that it didn’t go well… along with feeling some guilt over the fact he was happy you weren’t having a good time. Your text was as usual, at least for the other guys, a simple ‘come pick me up please’ along with their address.

After driving around for a little bit, trying to figure out where the fuck this guy lived, Johnny found it. Honestly the only reason he was able to was because you were standing outside the building. He pulled up to you, opening the passenger door for you. While you got in his eyes scanned you from head to toe. “Ohmygodthankyousomuchforcomingtosaveme” Your words spilled out of you faster than you could think, your mind still a little fuzzy from having a few drinks at the bar. Johnny laughed, “No problem babe.” His tone coming off more seductive than he meant. “Fuckkk” You exhaled, sliding down in the seat. “I waited outside for like 20 minutes in this stupid dress. I'm so cold.” Johnny was about to say something but before he could speak you were taking off your dress. “Woah there” His hand going to yours to stop you from taking off your clothes. “Listen I know I’m attractive but that’s no reason to take your clothes off.” His joke making you laugh. “Noo I have a change of clothes in my bag.” You explained, slurring your words a bit. “Pleaseeeee let me change, I am sooooooo cold.” You turned your head to face his, your eyes begging for him to let you change. Johnny didn’t say anything, he simply removed his hand and started driving.

There was nobody on the road that night, which was lucky for you because you could change in peace, also lucky for Johnny because focusing on not crashing was a lot easier. Johnny tried to keep his eyes on the road but he could see you in the corner of his eye. He took notice of the lingerie you were wearing underneath your dress, how little it covered. His thoughts were interrupted though. “Johnny, can you undo my bra, I can’t get it.” You whined. “Can’t you just put your clothes over it? We are gonna be home soon..” Johnny really wasn’t the type to back out of taking a girls bra off but he was really trying not to fuck things up. You groaned, “Noo I can’t wait, it’s so uncomfortable, and I need it off now, also I'm freezing here waiting.” Your pleas convincing him. Johnny pulled the car over and turned to you. His focus waning seeing you from behind, barely anything covering your body. You made a noise the moment his hands touched your cold skin, a noise that Johnny couldn’t get out of his head. The moment he unclipped it, in your slightly drunken state, you tore it off of your body, turning towards Johnny to grab your shirt. His breath hitched in his throat for a minute as you turned to him, your bare breasts on display.

“Okay thanks so much, you can continue driving now!” Your cheery tone not making the situation any easier on the poor man next to you. Johnny just tried to get home as soon as possible, because the feeling in his pants was becoming uncomfortable, especially after your took off your panties to put on your sweats. The rest of the ride was so quiet, which you thought weird, considering Johnny never shuts up. The moment you got back to his house you ran inside, almost forgetting your clothes. Johnny came in after you, exhaustion taking over his body. He didn’t even feel like going to his room, so instead he sat down on the couch, his eyes shutting slowly. But just like before, he was interrupted by you. You straddled him, leaning your head into his chest.

His eyes shot open, immediately moving them down to see what was going on. There you were, on top of him, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. “I know you’re tired but I didn’t even get to talk about why I left!” You propped yourself up on him and started talking. “Ugh okay so basically everything was fine until he got a call from his fucking girlfriend! can you believe that?” Anger seeping from your words. Johnny was half awake and along with you on top of him, forming words was extremely hard, so he just nodded along. “So of course I go ‘What the fuck!’ and then he starts making up some stupid excuse. Ugh what a dick, I feel so bad for the girlfriend..” A pout forming on your pretty face as you stared at Johnny. “And also! I didn’t even get to finish… this is so stupid…” Your defeated tone got Johnny’s attention. His head perking up, “He didn’t even let you finish? Yeah that guy sucks.” He said, moving his hands to your waist.

“Of course the one guy that can actually make me cum has a girlfriend, is a dick who cheats on his girlfriend and doesn’t even let me orgasm the last time I see him.” You whined, unknowingly grinding down on his lap. He snapped out of his trance the second you did that, realising that if this continues he will lose his self control very very soon. “Okay gorgeous, I think it’s bedtime.” He said, trying to sit up. Your head leaned back, an annoyed sound escaping from you. Begrudgingly you stood up, missing the warmth Johnny radiated. You trudged your way to your room and fell onto your bed, not bothering to even take your makeup off before you fell asleep.

When you woke up your head was killing you, along with all of your muscles. You cursed yourself for going out after doing a hard workout and drinking. Your clothes becoming a bit too warm. You stripped off your garments, and threw on a big t shirt, too lazy to even put underwear on. As you walked into the kitchen you noticed the time, it was already 11am. You sighed, head still pounding. You felt bad for making Johnny do everything for you but also he kept agreeing so whatever, might as well ask him to make you breakfast. So you went on a search, looking everywhere in Johnny mansion for him.

After what felt like forever (5 minutes) you finally found him. “Johnny!” You exclaimed, happy to see him so you could beg him to make you food. He was in his gym, working out with his headphones in. “Johnny..?” Repeated, less excited and more confused. “Uhh Johnny..” You said once more, this time louder. It seemed that attempt worked because he immediately stopped his set and sat up. “Oh hey, sleep well miss homewreaker?” Johnny said jokingly. “Oh fuck you. I didn’t know..” , “Suree” His sarcasm annoying you. “Whatever… since you’re such an asshole to me can you at least make me breakfast… y’know as like a way to amend things.” Your face morphing into an overdramatic begging expression. “Sure, I mean what woman doesn’t want me to make them breakfast after a rough night?” Johnny said, winking after. Immediately you rolled your eyes, “Yeah yeah whatever mr bigshot, go cook me something.”

Even though you asked Johnny to cook you wouldn’t even let him crack an egg without criticizing him. “No! Johnny you are supposed to butter the pan not use oil.” Your head in your hands in annoyance. “Ugh move I will cook it myself.” You couldn’t bear to see him ruining your precious breakfast any longer. You wedged yourself in between Johnny and the stove, completely forgetting about the no underwear thing. Your bare pussy against Johnny's crotch. He pretty much turned into a mess. He fumbled backwards, making up some excuse about having a business call and rushing off to his room. Too focused on food, you didn’t even consider that to be odd.

A few minutes later your food was finally done. You were famished and scarfed down your breakfast at record pace. After breakfast you decided to go around and grab all your things that you left near the door last night. When you went to grab them though, you noticed your shoes were nowhere to be found. You spent a couple minutes looking for them before you gave up. “I don’t know maybe Johnny has seen them..” You said to yourself.

As you approached Johnny’s room you heard noises, they were quiet but there. Against your better judgement, when you got to his door, you opened it. “Johnny have you seen-” Your question interrupted by him moaning your name as he touched himself. “Oh my god!” You exclaimed. “I’m so sorry!” You shielded your eyes, Johnny becoming aware of your presence and quickly throwing a blanket over himself. “Fuck uh sorry?” He said through whimpers, trying to calm down. “Were you… moaning my name?” Your question barely louder than a whisper. Johnny’s bold demeanour seemingly disappearing as the words left your mouth. He was left silent, not sure how to respond. Johnny’s self reflection quickly cut off by your laugh. You stepped closer to his bed, moving your head down to his level and looking him in the eyes. “You have no idea how long i’ve craved you.” Before he could speak you smashed your lips against his.

Your tongues entangling with each others. Subtle moans leaving both of your lips as you got on his lap. His hands falling on your ass. You intensified the kiss, biting on his lower lip, lapping at his mouth as he used his hands to move your hips back and forth over his aching cock. You broke the kiss, a string of spit connecting the two of you. You pulled your shirt off of your body, eager to get things moving. “Stand up” Your breathy voice driving Johnny crazy. You got off of him and got on your knees. “One second babe.” Johnny said while he leaned over to grab his phone. “Gotta record such a pretty view.” He said, a smug grin appearing on his face. He stood up, pointing his phone camera down at you. “Action.” You rolled your eyes at his stupid comment and then turned your focus to something much more important.

You brought Johnny’s cock to your lips, spitting onto his tip. You took your hand and wrapped it around his length, doing slow, steady strokes. Your fingers tracing his veins, looking up at him to see all his reactions.

His grunts making your pussy clench around nothing. To him you were torturing him. The pace you were going had him losing his mind. “Fuckk” His hips thrusting into your hands, trying to get more friction. “Baby I need you to go faster, please..” His begs making you smirk. “Tell me what you want.” Your seductive voice almost making Johnny buckle. “God, you’re evil y’know that?” He chuckled. “Anything, just, just go faster.” He said, exasperated.

You tilted your head to the side, “Anything?” You asked, “Fuck yes anything.” He was so desperate for you. You thought about it for a second, then moved your lips closer to his cock. Doing small licks to his head. Watching as his head fell back in pleasure. You then licked his slit, his entire body tensing up. Slowly, you moved your tongue across his entire shaft. giving extra attention to his veins, like you did with your fingers. Finally, you brought your head back to his tip, and then you slowly took his entire length into your mouth. A beautiful moan leaving Johnny’s lips. You started to move, making sure to look at the camera. Johnny could barely contain himself, hips rocking back and forth with the flow of your mouth. You could feel him twitch in your mouth, he was close. So, like an asshole, you pulled your mouth off of him when he was about to cum. His eyes shot open. “What the fuck?” He was clearly annoyed about his orgasm denial. “Johnny…” Your sensual tone reverberating in his ears. “I need your full attention for this, I need you to look at me.” He panted “Whatever you say.” You stared up at him, his cock in your hand. You opened your mouth, bringing his dick back into your mouth. You took his entire length into your mouth, getting down to the base.

Johnny was losing it. A slew of curses, moans, and your name rolled off his tongue. “Shit, thats perfect baby. Fuck you look so beautiful with my dick stuffed down your throat.” His praises making the aching between your thighs no longer able to be ignored. You started to move back and forth, your body so hungry for his praise. “Just like that… god you’re mouth is like heaven.” The rasp in his voice making you crazy. He wrapped his hand into your hair, pushing you down onto his cock. Your hands shooting to your clit, rubbing circles on the sensitive bud. Your moans felt so good around his dick and he couldn’t hold back anymore. “Fuck i’m so close.” He groaned. His hips thrusting into your mouth so faster you could barely think. He pulled you off of his dick before he came, wanting to see your pretty face covered in his cum. As he finished he moaned your name, releasing his seed onto you, covering your face in it.

“Smile for the camera baby.” Were the last words he said before Johnny stopped recording on his phone, throwing it onto a chair. You licked your lips, lapping at whatever landed there. Johnny grabbed you a towel, grabbing your chin and wiping off all his cum. The second he was done cleaning off your face you stood up, crashing your lips to his again. You pushed him back onto his bed and got on top of him, grinding your cunt against his abs. “You wanna ride me?” He questioned, his confidence returning. “Fuck yes oh my god.” You responded, so excited to finally feel him fill you. You moved yourself down and aligned yourself with his cock. As you rocked down on it you and Johnny both let out a whimper. His dick was the perfect blend of big and girthy, it stretched you in a way you’ve been longing for. You propped your hands up on his chest and started rocking back and forth, eliciting the most beautiful moans.

“No one can ever compare to this pussy.” Your name leaving Johnny’s mouth while he groaned. “You have no idea how much I wanted to do this yesterday Johnny.” You cried, riding his cock at the perfect pace. You kept the speed going up, never faltering. Johnny’s dick hitting all the right places. You were losing your mind already but when Johnny moved one of his hands to your hip and the other to your clit you couldn’t take it. His hand rubbed circles into your sensitive bud while his other was rocking your hips on his cock. You couldn’t take all the stimulation and your orgasm was close. “Johnny.. mmph I’m so, I’m so close fuck.” You could barely keep yourself upright, the pleasure taking over. “Cmon baby, cum, scream my name too, let everyone know who is making you feel this good.” Johnny’s smug voice ringing in your ears. And you listened, as the knot in your stomach came loose your mouth screamed his name, your cum coating his dick. And right after, he came, his seed filling you up, along with his moans filling your ears.

You collapsed beside Johnny, a mix of his cum and yours leaking out of you. He chuckled, words leaving his lips between gasps for air. “If I knew your pussy was that good I wouldn’t have let you leave to go fuck those losers.” You turned your face to his, pulling him into a kiss, “You don’t gotta worry anymore, this is all yours, Mr A-list.” You whispered, enjoying the calm moment. Johnny couldn’t hide his amusement, but he also couldn’t hide his need for more. He grabbed your waist and lifted you back onto his chest. “Come here, sweetheart, why don’t you sit that pretty pussy on this pretty face?” You groaned at his self centredness but still moved your hips up to his face. “You’re the most self obsessed person I’ve ever met, did you know that?” You ask, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. “Hard not to be obsessed with yourself when you are as sexy as me.” Ending his sentence with a wink. “Okay that's enough out of you.” Shutting him up with your cunt sat on his face. His nose felt heavenly on your clit but when he started licking your folds you started seeing the light.

While he ate you out he also gave himself some self love, jerking himself off. It had barely been a minute since you sat on his face but you could already feel your body going numb. The sensitivity from your last orgasm not worn off. The way his tongue lapped at your pussy had you squirming. Johnny had to use his unoccupied hand to hold you down while he sucked and licked your pussy raw. Your moans were getting out of hand, you were screaming so loud a part of you was worried the neighbours would hear. But when Johnny started moaning into your pussy you fell apart. Legs shaking and cunt clenching around his tongue. You could barely get any air in as you came undone, squirting all over his face, Johnny doing his best to catch your juices in his mouth. You pulled yourself off of him, crawling down his bed to replace his hand with yours. You listened so intently to every noise he made until he finally came, his cum falling over his chest.

Craving more of him, you bent down and ran your tongue along his abs, trying to lick up every last drop of his seed. “You’re such a whore, drinking up my cum like that.” You giggled, licking the last drop from his muscles. “You did the same thing a few minutes ago, I guess we are both whores.” Your hands rubbing at his chest. “You’re dangerous.” Johnny says, a glint in his eyes. You nod, a feeling of pride in your heart. “I’m thinking… one last round?” A playfulness in your voice. “We don’t wrap until it’s perfect baby.” Johnny’s smugness extremely apparent.

He stood up and walked towards you, leaning you back on his pillows. Johnny climbed back into the bed, sitting in between your legs. He leaned in, kissing you on the lips. Unlike the other kisses you shared this one felt different, it was less needy, more intimate. While kissing you he started pinching and squeezing your nipples, rolling them between his fingers. You moaned into his mouth, needing more. Johnny removed his lips from yours and moved them to you jaw, sucking and licking at your skin till a bruise formed. He did that all the way down, from your neck to you shoulders. Johnny stopped at your breasts though. He payed extra attention them. Using his tongue in expert ways around your nipples. You were so obsessed with the way he made you feel, no hookup had ever been like this.

By the time he reached your cunt your body was already turned to jelly. He took a hold of this length and slowly pushed it inside you. The curve of his cock hitting every sensitive spot inside you. “Ngh Johnny please..” Your begs replaying in his head. He started to move, slow and steady thrusts. Johnny went deep inside you, pulling almost all the way out before sinking back in. You were a mess, the erotic sounds of your rendezvous making anyone who might walk by walk a little faster. His pace was so slow, but even thrust was sending you over the edge. The louder you got the harder Johnny would go. It was slow and rough, neither of you able to form any words due to the feeling bubbling to the top. Johnny got slightly faster and his movements became more sloppy, you knew he was close, and so were you. “Johnny, please, I need to cum.” You pleaded with him, your entire body was shaking, ready for release. All he had to do was utter three words and your became a shaking mess underneath him. “Cum for me.”

Johnny pulled out of you, the way your cunt squeezed him when you came was too much. A couple of strokes and he came on your pussy. He fell to your side. All was quiet except for your breaths. You were the first to speak, “I hate you and you fucking cocky attitude but god do you have the skills to act like that.” You both laughed, “Fuck you’re so amazing, I wish I got a piece of that sooner.” An annoyed sigh left your lips, “Sure, whatever, now go be a gentleman or whatever and get me a cloth so I can clean up the mess you made.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss you, “Yes ma’am.”

[lonicera-edulis]

For the character ask if you're still taking: Thorin 18, 24, 29, 30? :>

18. "How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc)" - He and his younger brother were a team of rascals. But gradually Thorin became more serious and anxious teen while watching after his goldsick grandfather.

24. "What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?" - I am not sure, there are many probably. Maybe some unpleasant encounter with Men in Bree when he worked there. But he probably would share this with Dwalin at least 🤔

And with what Balin's actor once said Thorin didn't keep his crush on Bilbo to himself as well it seems asdfghjk

Maybe something involving elves then? Okay, I just thought of something funny. What if he met an elf (who was moving to Grey Havens and dwarves didn't know why exactly elves go there). But the elf was also bad at directions. To make it more natural for Thorin, who would just ignore the elf asking to help to navigate in these lands, we can put them in a situation, like they were ambushed by goblins.

So they got out of it, but were off the road. Had to team up to find the way back, and it took them some time, which was unfortunate for Thorin who was holding serious grudges on elven kind. When they finally found the right ways, they just separated without a word.

I thought that it would be even funnier if that elf was very similar to Thorin in appearance and personality. And Thorin experienced some uncanny valley affect. Of course he wouldn't like to talk about it.

29. "How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?)"

Why is the question in brackets so funny? Like, yes, apparently the character is a parent canonically, but what if we reimagine this? Why? xD

I think he was already used to caring for babies when Kili was born, and was good enough parental figure until Fili and Kili became older and he had to become distant.

I am not always up to Parentshield, but he would be good with small Frodo, better than Bilbo. Like in Ruto's comic, I like how Bilbo is portrayed there, annoyed and confused, but Thorin is collected enough. Bilbo is good with teen Frodo though.

30. "The funniest scene they had?" - There are so many. Seems even more than with Bilbo, to me at least. He is like an epic tragic hero on the screen, but people notice some goofy stuff. I will put the links to posts I like:

This moment when dwarves were captured by trolls.

Whatever this was.

Cursing while being jailed in Mirkwood.

And I love this bit from the book too much...

[manicpixiefelix]

head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 20.

Summary: The evening of the Arts Collective dinner somehow gets even worse for you as Farleigh gives you some unfortunate news about Oliver and Venetia and their moonlight exploits. The worst part is having to figure out a way to break the news to Felix.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: angst, mentions of childhood/ongoing parental neglect.

A/N: 3729 words. I finally cracked it!! Figured out the ending!! Sorry for the delay I was busy writing 20k about Jacob Elordi being hot and mean which I will never publish (Euphoria, a show I STILL have not watched beyond like 20 minutes of clips on YouTube lol). Anyways I've missed you and these characters and hopefully 21 won't be too far away xx (also I started my new job so that's been exciting but also Ooft ouch my bones hurt)

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

For a day that was already pretty damn shit, Oliver's cruelty was like salt in the wound. Hand still on the doorknob after you close it, you listen to him retreating over the ringing in your ears. If you let go, you'll see your hands shake, so you're frozen, heart in your throat, the house growing quiet around you. It's familiar, but unwelcome in this moment.

Tears well in your eyes as you sit back at the desk, computer humming pleasantly, bathing you in a cool glow. Part of you was desperate to run after him, to oblige him, to reveal every inch of your past and soul to him, hoping he was true to his word. That he could actually care about you in a way that very few have ever bothered to. That he could love you the way Felix did.

I don't know you.

An even stronger part of you wanted to run right across the hall, to bury yourself beneath the covers of your bed, safe and waiting for Felix. Surely he'd be back soon, if Oliver's return indicated anything. You hadn't heard him return, but it wouldn't be long. But how were you meant to look at him, lie next to him, even touch him, after all of that. It had been easy to bite your tongue on your disappointment so far, knowing that like so many others, Oliver's love for you thus far had been merely as a proxy for Felix himself. You knew Felix was vaguely aware that that was how others sometimes viewed you, but you'd always been eager to assure him that as long as he genuinely cared about you, and the others were good to you, you'd be more than happy.

And that used to be true. But none of the others were Oliver. Felix knew you loved the boy just as genuinely as he was coming to, you could never tell him that your affections were not as genuinely returned.

Your pride held you hostage in this room on both accounts.

When you finally raise your head from your hands, scrubbing unspilled tears from your eyes, you try and focus yourself once more on rereading the email that had already put you in a foul mood before Oliver had made it worse. It had taken all afternoon to detach yourself from it's contents, especially knowing your mother was waltzing about the grounds, spoiling your sanctuary.

The details of an official nondisclosure agreement, sent from your parents' team of lawyers. The paperwork was to arrive in the next few days, but you were being warned ahead of time. Before Oliver had interrupted, you were finally getting to the point of finding it all funny, that they were that insistent on cutting social ties with you that they'd go to almost any lengths that remained discrete, and out of the general public's reach. Now it just... ached.

Felix's heavy footsteps echo through the long gallery outside your study door, but he heads straight into bed. You wonder if it's even worth it to head to bed that night, you can't see yourself getting much sleep.

Now mostly, tragically, sober after you'd spent the afternoon trying to get out of your mind to cope with the day, you wonder if a drink would help put you to sleep, put an end to this abysmal day you'd endured. Which is how Farleigh finds you in the Blue Room, frowning at the bottle of liquor you'd left in the broken piano.

"You're up late," you mused flatly, still trying to decide if it was worth it to drink until you pass out in your study, "how was the -"

"We need to talk," Farleigh's tone is even more irate than you'd expected. Neither he nor the Catton siblings were ever in a particularly bright mood after being forced into any kind of proximity with your mother, and you were always touched by their loyalty, but this was something else.

You lower the piano lid, leaving the liquor for the time being. Turning to look at Farleigh, it's almost shocking to see how dark the look in his eyes was.

"What... happened?" You asked slowly. Farleigh's gaze flicks to the door behind you, to the long gallery and to the entrance to both yours and Oliver's bedrooms. Prying eyes, listening ears, though you were almost certain you'd heard Oliver leave not too long ago. A muscle in Farleigh's jaw twitches, and you instead offer your study for some privacy.

"You're not going to like it," is the first thing Farleigh tells you once the study door is closed. He sounds furious. Turning off your computer monitor, you choose to sit yourself on the sofa by the window, looking at him expectantly.

"This day's been a fucking nightmare already, I'm sure I can handle it," you rolled your eyes. Farleigh, however, chooses to sit at your desk, sideways on the chair, rather than joining you.

"You told Oliver not to fuck around with Venetia, didn't you?" It's unsettling to see Farleigh so serious. Still, his words have something twisting in your gut, even as you tried to play it off.

"Of course I did."

"Then tell me why I saw them practically eating each other on the front fucking lawn."

It's like you can feel the moment your blood turns to ice in your veins.

"This isn't funny," your lip curls, but Farleigh's severity remains, "this is a sick fucking joke, Farleigh, and a shitty thing to try and pull today of all goddamn days," your voice is rising, but he lets your fury build, uninterrupted.

"It would be an awful joke," he agreed, "if I was joking." All of the hopelessness that had plagued you since Oliver had left began to crystalise, calcifying into rage as his words settled in, "I don't care about Oliver," Farleigh's gaze shifted for a moment, still tense and furious, but there was something very nearly apologetic in his next words, "but unfortunately for me and for you right now, I care about you and Felix."

"Felix." Oh God. This couldn't be happening again. You'd told Oliver; you'd warned him. The fucking nerve!

"Yeah," Farleigh mutters quietly, "and you're going to be the one to tell him." When you try and protest, you're met with a sharp glare, and a stern reminder of how this exact situation had been reversed only twelve months ago over Eddie, "I'm not doing that again," Farleigh warned, "you owe me."

"Fine," you spit, "fuck, I'll tell him," hands shaking, you light up a cigarette. Farleigh stands, but hovers by your desk for a moment.

"He really knows how to pick them," He muses flatly.

"Shocking taste in men," scowling our of the window, your agreement is nonetheless irate, "fucking unbelievable," you hissed under your breath, "and he thinks there's something wrong with me?"

"There is," Farleigh's words surprise you, stinging a little, all things considered, "you fell for that stupid, little boy too," he reminds with a particularly vicious look.

"So it's my fault I have to break Felix's heart?"

"I'm saying that you've given me a lot of attitude for not liking him, but Oliver wouldn't even be here without both of you."

"Get the fuck out of my study, Farleigh," you order, pointing at the door, cigarette in hand and fury in your eyes.

The anger bubbling in your gut is beginning to burn. A thousand things are racing through your mind; top of the list is wondering just how quickly you make sure he's never welcomed back at Oxford. All you'd need was your computer and an hour to ruin Oliver Quick's entire life; you'd done it before. But if you turned that monitor on, if you had to once again look at that fucking email from your family - not even your family, their lawyers! - you think you might throw up. Tomorrow, with a clear head, you'd make your move.

And you'd tell Felix. No need to wake him now, give him a few hours to still live in the fantasy where the boy he was falling in love with wasn't once again going after his sister. Fuck- Venetia.

The more you thought about it all the more frenzied your outrage became. She wasn't innocent in this either, she never was. Venetia Catton was more than adept at finding both yours and her brother's exact pressure points and pressing with vehemence. So desperate to be loved yet so unable to come across as anything but insatiable, she'd always taken what she could get. You were good, but clearly you weren't enough to distract her from new, shiny Oliver.

The taste of smoke sticks to your teeth, as does your sour contemplation on how little the people you tried to love respected you. Or Felix. Christ, how were you meant to tell Felix?

Except you can't even really begin to contemplate how you'll break the news when you hear footsteps across the gallery.

Felix doesn't even knock - not that he ever has - before he lets himself in. You thought you'd have more time; the anger still burns white-hot inside of you, but despair and guilt flickers at the edges. He looks about as rough as you feel, concern and ebbing irritation in his expression. Of course, he'd spent the evening in the presence of your mother; none of the others ever felt nearly as much ire in her presence as he did.

Without a word, he strides across the room, all but pouting, and throws himself onto the sofa beside you. Drawing his legs up onto the sofa, he makes himself as small as possible - quite a task considering his size compared to the small, squashy sofa - and leans against you, head on your shoulder.

"Hate that woman," he hisses under his breath. You know he means your mother, but your mind is on his deceitful sister. All you can think about is Venetia and Oliver, but you can't very well tell Felix now. You don't have the words to not make everything so much worse if you tried. Already you'd decided to tell him in the morning, but right now you had to keep him from figuring out what was bothering you. Or that you were bothered at all.

So you decide to take a leaf out of Felix's own book, keep him happy and distracted in the way you knew best.

"Bad night?" Your voice is low as you move your arm back, fingers carding through his hair. The way Felix hums is still dark, but he shifts closer to you. After another moment of quiet, he huffs an irate breath out through his nose and begins to pluck at the hem of your shorts.

"Can I maim your mum the next time I see her?"

"She's not worth going to jail over," you tell him, leg shifting into his touch. Felix's hand stops fussing with your shorts to grip your thigh.

"You are," he huffs resolutely, and even despite your own anger you smile.

"My knight in shining armour," you laugh softly, lips against his forehead, "but do you really want to be so far away?" Leaning back against him, your hand moves from his hair to graze your nails down his bare arm, hoping he takes the hint. Thankfully, he does. The warm grip on your thigh tightens, and when he turns to look at you, there's something hungry in his eyes, "she's not worth your time, Fi," it comes out almost as a snarl, a truth you believe even in the depths of your own, otherwise mostly unrelated anger, but you turn your tone teasing, smirking at him, "I just choose to think about how I was apparently on your mind all night."

"I'm always thinking about you," he almost sounds a little breathless as he says it, managing to sit up more properly without moving away. You let your gaze flick to his lips before going back to look him in the eyes. Tongue darting out to wet your lips, you tilt your head very slightly, beginning to smile.

"And what are you think about me now?"

You'd always quietly loved whenever Felix was feeling possessive, and now moreso than ever. It made distracting him easy and fun, and Felix himself, his hands as he pulled you over to straddle his lap, to hold you close, to cradle your face as he kissed you so furiously, it was almost enough to distract you too. In all honesty, it was the only good thing to have happened all day, though even this was coloured by guilt, knowing what you still had to tell him when you found the right words.

However suddenly, Felix pulls back wearing a frown. For a few moments you find yourself catching your breath, confused, arms still around his neck.

"Something's wrong," it's not a question.

"Nothing's wrong," you lie, and hope it's more convincing them his usually are, "nothing at all," you hum, and move back in to press kisses to his jaw, hoping it's enough of a distraction to trail those kisses down his neck.

"You're angry about something," damn it. Of course Felix knows you too well.

"Am I?" You want to keep the ruse up for as long as you can manage, "and what would that be?" You murmured before you're sucking a beautiful, bruising hickey against his neck.

"I don't -" but his breath catches, grip on you tightening. It almost works; he swears faintly under his breath, losing himself in the moment and leaning into you, but then he actually seems to shake himself out of it, "come off it," he sighs, and you sit up, trying your best to appear both confused, and still in the mood, "if I'm not allowed to do this, neither are you." He says pointedly. Even though you're fighting a losing battle, you still lean in, still try and distract him with your mouth on his.

"Do what?" You murmur, nose to nose as you peck him quickly, desperately trying to keep your tone light and teasing. But you can see it in his eyes before he even says it; he knows exactly what you're doing.

"Distracting me because you know how fucking hot I think you are."

"And if I was," you murmured, pressing yourself against him, "why would that be such a bad thing?"

"Because you're being evasive," Felix pushed you back, held you at arm's length as your expression began to drop, fury beginning to creep back in as you remembered what exactly it is you didn't want to tell him, "you're not evasive with me;" he insists, "everyone else, sure, but this - whatever this is - is.. it's- it feels weird. This isn't you!"

"What am I then, Felix?"

"Mine!" He answered far too quickly, frustration sling out of him, but appears to catch himself, correcting to, "my best mate, alright? You don't not tell me things."

"So if there is something I'm not telling you, can you not trust that I might have a reason?" Finally your anger bursts from you, furious in the evening light. Felix has gone quiet, shocked; it's been a long time since you'd yelled at him like this. He looks wounded, apologetic, something you're not used to. Climbing off of him, you stand, you have to give yourself some distance from him, "there's a lot I don't tell you, Fi," you sighed, expression pinching as you tried to force yourself to calm down.

"You can tell me anything," Felix's voice has softened, leaning forward on the sofa. It aches to look at him, to see him so beautiful and vulnerable in these moments, "you know that."

"I know," you agreed, "it's not that I can't tell you, it's that I don't want to," you pressed the heels of your palms to your eyes, groaning; you can't look him in the eyes, can't even look at him right now, "and I will, that's the thing; I'm going to tell you, you're right, I always do, I just -" in a moment of weakness, your voice comes out almost sounding pitiful, defeated and frustrated, "I thought I had more time."

"What's wrong?" Felix asks softly. When you laugh, there's no humour in it. The more the reality of your situation sinks in, the more the fight leaves you.

"It's going to make you angry, or upset, or probably both," you sound rather helpless when you say it, but it seems like you no longer have a choice in when you get to tell him.

"Is it your mum?"

"I wish it was my mum," you shook your head, finally moving your hands to shake them out as you stepped back, leaning back against your desk with defeat. With every moment that passes you can feel Felix's gaze upon you, burning into you. When you are upset, he will never relent until he finds the source; usually it would be a gift, make you feel wanted and special and like you actually mattered for once. But this knowledge feels like a curse.

"We could run away," it's a last resort, barely more than a mutter as you look at your hands.

"What?"

"Just us," you continue, fidgeting, unable to look at Felix and the concern you knew you'd see in his eyes, "I could get us a little apartment in some artsy, London suburb," it's not going to work, not going to distract him, to keep him from prying the information from you that you know will hurt him, but it's all you have left, "you know nan would help us out, she'd kill for me. We could do whatever we wanted, never have to work a day in our lives. We could be whoever we wanted, wouldn't have to live in a house where they'd rather we die of heat stroke than ruin the wood panelling with an air conditioner," all you can think about is how you fell for a boy who didn't love you the way you hoped he would, and turned out couldn't even really respect you, "never have to go back to Oxford."

"What happened?" Standing, Felix crosses the short distance to your desk. There's so much sweetness in his voice as he sits in the desk chair beside you, looking up at you with his damn perfect brown eyes.

"I can't let this happen again, Fi," you hadn't even realised you were close to tears until it becomes harder to speak, "I tried, I fucking tried, I told him -"

"Who?"

"Ollie," you sniffled, face growing hot as you couldn't stop your tears from beginning to fall, "I warned him not to go near Venetia- I just- I can't believe she'd do this again, that Ollie couldn't respect when I ask him this one thing -"

"Ollie and Venetia?" There's an unsettling, blank quality to Felix's voice. The look in his eyes is far away and ice cold.

"Apparently hooking up on the front lawn," you clarified, voice weak, trying to wipe the tears from your eyes, derision edging it's way back into your voice as some of the anger returns, "for God, and Farleigh to bare witness," you took in a deep, shaking breath, attempting to pull yourself together, "I tried, Fi -"

"Fucking unbelievable," Felix snarls furiously, getting to his feet, "both of them- fuck, was Farleigh sure? He wasn't making some sick joke?"

"Even Farleigh wouldn't fuck with us like that," you muttered darkly, before adding, quiet, sounding actually pained with frustration, "I've been nothing but good to them, Fi, I thought -"

"You are never touching my sister again," Felix cuts you off firmly, voice forcibly calm. Surprised both by his tone and his words, you look up; he's so much closer than you'd realised The look in your best friend's eyes almost overwhelms you; protective, possessive, "I'm not watching her treat you like that anymore," he braces himself against the desk either side of you, crowding you against it.

"Fi," your barely manage a whisper, heartbeat racing in your chest, "I..." for just a moment he looks almost pained, and he hangs his head, faint, humourless laugh escaping him.

"I have to watch you fuck around with people who would barely give you the time of day; you're so fucking good it kills me sometimes," he bites out; you can't tell him that you know they're just using you, that so many people simply entertain the idea of you as a way to stay in Felix's life. Even if he'd never admit it, Felix knows. There's very little in his life that he's ever felt the need to reflect on, and even less that he feels any particular guilt about. You used to think he was fine with this arrangement, that he knew you could find the fun in these one-sided dynamics, "they're fucking using you," he grits out, but you're surprised by the way his fury almost sounds like despair, "I watch them and they're fucking using you like you're not even a person, Y/N."

Felix looks up; the looks in his eyes is more serious than you think you've ever seen from him. Deliberately, firmly, he takes your face in his hands.

"You're not my shadow, you know that, right?"

For a very long moment, you think you feel your heartbeat stop in your chest. On the surface it's a completely ridiculous question, except...

Feeling your face grow hot, you know he can see you tearing up; Felix has always known you better than anyone, always known exactly what you seem to need to hear. Nodding weakly, caught, pinned by his intense gaze, his focus on you, your lip trembles. Already fraught with emotions from the day, and the evening that had just passed, you have no fucking idea what to say. Felix has never spoken this out loud, never let himself properly wrestle with the subtext that coloured so much of your dynamic; it flickers across his face, the surprise and guilt and realisation as it hits him what he'd just said.

You are so much more to him than anyone else will ever give you credit for.

You are not his shadow, but you are unequivocally his.

So you kiss him.

[spidey-555]

Things I hope the devs of CotL don't do, but a part of me feels like they'll do anyways (or might already be doing):

Revive Ratau if we chose to sacrifice him. Like I said on a previous post, it would invalidate the weight of our decision, and would open the floodgates of "can we undo other heinous actions we do?" If yes, then why should we care about the events of the game if they can all just be undone?

Make the bishops so unlikable and unsympathetic to the point where the audience ceases to care about them. I know they already aren't the most likable characters due to their abrasive personalities (excluding Shamura), but people still find them tragic, so taking away that would just be the nail in the coffin. Unfortunately, this one already seems to be happening, if the description for the graphic novel is anything to go by.

Make Narinder seem like the good guy or otherwise have the story take a side in the whole "sealing of the one who waits" debacle. This kind of ties in when the previous bullet point (especially with the "already happening in the graphic novel" thing), but if they did this, it would feel like they're just pandering to the Narilamb fans by having the story bend over backwards for it.

Have the Lamb be this flawless, unstoppable, and perfect being who everyone (except bad people) loves and will never lose ever. This one is kind of self explanatory. If the devs decide to go this route, then I feel many people would cease caring about the conflicts if this game. After all, if the Lamb can't lose ever, then what's the point of caring about any the conflicts in this game of the Lamb? I will admit that this one is more of a "me" thing than anything else

Cure the bishops of their disabilities. Heal the injuries, sure, but not the disabilities, please. In my opinion, it would be very ableist to do this, as it would imply that the only way for the bishops to be truly happy is them being cured of their disabilities.

Have there be a "canon" interpretation of the Lamb. At the end of the day, the Lamb is a player-insert character, and the fun about those characters is that they can essentially be anyone and can have many interpretations. Making a "canon" Lamb would take away the fun of those characters. This ties into the other Lamb related bullet point somewhat.

Have the Fox and Midas become followers once we beat them. This is assuming we fight them at all, of course. This one is also very opinionated. I feel like getting them as a follower would be bad because it would A) imply they have a chance at redemption and personally I like the fact that we have at least 2 villains we can just hate (here's hoping to more!) B) let us treat them however we want, which means they could not get the punishment they deserve. And before someone says that you can do the same with the bishops (the whole "not getting the punishment they deserve" thing), they already suffered in purgatory, which counts as punishment imo.

Rely too much on toilet and "naked people are funny" humor. This one is another opinionated one. Personally, I'd prefer if we got more character-based humor (hell, maybe some surreal humor as well) than humor that only a child would laugh at. I do want to post this one on the suggestions channel, but I'm afraid of the backlash.

I'll probably add more onto this when it comes to mind

[hppjmxrgosg]

Heyo, I really like your very competent and independent spiderman in Death before inaction. Do you have any fic favourites that have the same vibes that you would recommend?

Thank you for all the stories <3

Hey! Sorry this took me a minute to get to. Here are my spider-man fic recs 🫡

Incomplete. This one was a HUGE inspiration for me in writing DBI. Very tragic, very beautiful. Peter is very much doing it on his own in this fic, though, he has a bit more help than my Peter does (though probably not from who you'd expect)

Complete. This one is very good and part of a series (that is incomplete, unfortunately). I have only read this one out of the series. This one had me HOOKED when I read it on live updates. Peter is an adult in this fic, but very much living his "veteran vigilante" lifestyle.

Complete. Supercut is a series of works that was also a big inspiration for DBI. I am still working my way through all of them, but they are fantastic! Like DBI, the author has taken some...creative liberties with the MCU timeline. However, where I went back, they went forward.

Complete. Female Peter Parker. Super fun read! Competent Spidey fs, though perhaps a little more "familial support" and a little less "avenger bashing" than DBI.

Complete. Oh Kidnapped Peter Parker our beloved. And this time with friends!

Complete. That's right. MORE kidnapped Peter Parker. Put that guy in a situation. Let him beat people up. As a treat.

Series, Incomplete. I've only read some of these and it was many moons ago but from what I remember they were FUNNY. Definitely a touch more lighthearted than some of the other recs on this list.

Sorry this isn't a very long list, just the ones I could think of off the top of my head!

[firelxdykatara]

Dragon Age 4 looks amazing, that gameplay trailer had me on the edge of my seat and I cannot fucking wait for the game to drop. Somewhat less enthused for the inevitable wave of fandom discourse that's gonna rear it's ugly head, especially given how BG3 went over, but whatever. (Also I hate that the name changed to 'The Veilguard', not just because 'Dreadwolf' was cool as fuck but the 'the' throws things off. DAV looks better as an acronym than DATV. But whatever whatever no one consulted ME on this, it's fine, I'm fine.)

It did make me start thinking about Solas again and how little nuance the fandom approached him with last time, and it's just funny because like... it's very easy to understand where Solas is coming from. How he sees what he is planning as necessary, as fixing an ancient wrong that he has always meant to put right.

Will people die? Yes, and he thinks that's unfortunate--and, according to him in the trailer, he took the precautions he could to minimize that loss of life as much as possible. But he's not doing any of this with the specific aim to kill people or 'do genocide'--that was never his goal.

He is trying to fix something that he broke countless ages ago.

As he says, 'the veil is a wound'--a wound that he ripped open in the very fabric of space and time, and which he is trying now to heal.

And the thing is, he is ancient. He does not conceive of time the way mortals do, nor the importance and significance of mortal lives. I would like to think that romanced solas vs unromanced will have some affect on the way he goes about things, because falling in love was entirely unexpected and had to alter his views at least a little. Not enough to sway him from his course, but perhaps enough to make him feel the coming losses more keenly than he otherwise would. But even failing that, the connections he made during Inquisition are clearly not nothing to him--Varric is able to draw his attention, keep him distracted, might even have been on the verge of talking him down, we don't know. But as easily as he shattered Bianca, he could've killed Varric to end the threat he posed, and he didn't.

Mortal lives mean something to him now that they didn't when he set out at the beginning of Inquisition to tear down the veil with no regard for the mortal lives he would destroy in the process. And I'm wondering if those very safeguards are what release the big bads when Rook fucks up his ritual and that leads into the rest of the game. But anyway, my point is this: Solas does not look at life the way someone with a mortal lifespan does. He can't! Modern Thedas is the burned out shell of a building that he once set fire to without realizing what the consequences would be--and he is determined to rebuild it, because no matter what life has sprung up in the cracks of the burned out husk, his original fault was destroying the life that had been there to begin with.

People don't tend to overly worry about the insects and birds nests and whatever else they might have to bulldoze through when it comes to tearing down some condemned structure and rebuilding in its place, and that's how Solas views the modern world of Thedas and the lives within it. And I get disagreeing with him and wanting to stop him at any cost, but I don't get assigning maliciousness or bloodthirst to his motivations when there's no reason to believe he sees this as anything less than a tragic necessity.

Then again, I think Anders was right too so, y'know. But one bomb lobbed into the fandom commonroom at a time lmao.

[a-rabid-snake]

No one will be interested, but I'll tell you a little bit about the fawn.

Of all the stories, I really like it because it's moderately tragic and moderately funny.

Fawn is a slugcat who has gone through three stages of growth (in the picture, he is at the final second stage) this baby was created by a wild creature, and is called a forest. This region is a living being, you can just call it a tree

At the moment, the fawn lives alone, he can talk to the forest. But unfortunately, not all the slugcat he saw can speak sign language.

The fawn is very kind. He's part of the forest. He is the heart of the forest. If the fawn dies, the forest will die. If the forest is damaged, the fawn will immediately feel it

The forest and the fawn are connected. The fawn is essentially sharpened in the grass, where the roots of the trees grow, he cannot go further, otherwise he will die

He is often lonely because there is no shadow with him anymore. There is no Hera either. Yuni, he rarely appears

It is very easy to get into the forest, because the forest no longer covers itself. If you go into the forest, the fawn will immediately understand who you are and will go to meet you to find out the purpose of your visit

(By the way, a fact. This place is either sometimes attacked by scavengers. Also, lizards very rarely go there, they are scared, they are all scared, so they avoid this place)

It is very easy to get into the "tree", just go to the main tree from the outer expanse, and then move west. It won't take long, but you'll get to this place.

If you will sit in silence, be silent and try to hear at least something, then you will hear the leaves moving without wind and soon you will hear a voice. He's very friendly, it's the voice of the forest, but you have to be very focused to make out what the forest is saying

Because the forest is alive, everyone is afraid of it. There are rumors among slugcat that monsters live in the forest. Scavengers avoid this place because they are afraid of the atmosphere around it. To be afraid of lizards too

The forest can also absorb food, but it does so a little faster than other plants. He devours dead creatures or rotted berries to replenish his strength. It looks creepy, because in front of your eyes it's raging, the lizard that you recently killed on the territory of the forest somehow goes to the ground like quicksand

Whatever it was, the forest is a safe place, if winter comes, then this place will either go into hibernation or become a warm corner. There are a lot of fruits here, and there are also fish

The river is not very far from the center, it is marked with a cross. Also, the region has an underground part, there are tunnels that lead to the ground (they are marked with circles). And there are also hot springs, there are not many of them, but they are marked with squares

Warm, like an autumn forest, awaits new, kind guests who will stay next to its owner. The forest is the mother of the fawn, the forest takes care of the fawn and wants her child to be happy

(Something is not interesting and confusing, someone, just stroke the fawn)

[pranklinfierce]

you're having a party, which presidents are you inviting?

Good question, very fun. I'll invite all of the ones I like, and whichever ones I'd like to see in a party setting.

James Madison is chronologically the first that I would invite. I think it'd be funny to see him at a party. I think of "nearly gets trampled on the dance floor..." I, myself, will trample him unless he brings Dolley.

Jackson is invited and I hope he leaves cheese around the house in secret spots like he did at the end of his presidency.

Van Buren is invited unless @presidenttyler continues to insist that I have to marry him or he'll summon a deadly fog (please die, Mr. Tyler.)

I would invite William Henry Harrison, but tragically, as I'm sure we've all heard, he is no longer with us </3.

John Tyler is invited unless he tries to insist I marry Martin Van Buren lest a deadly fog be summoned. Also I swear to God he's not allowed to use my bathroom. I hope he and Jackson start fighting (no weapons allowed in my house) and I get to see their skinny bones fall out.

James K Polk is invited. I want him to bring his Lady Presidentress as well. Double invited if he is the presidentress.

Zachary Taylor is invited. His daughter can come too. His daughter's husband cannot come. His daughter's husband's dog, Bonin, can come. The murderer who shares a name with Zachary Taylor's daughter's husband's dog cannot come.

Millard Fillmore is invited. He can bring the whole boiler room with him. It wouldn't be a party without him.

Franklin Pierce is invited, of course. As an old @/deadpresidents posts that I can longer find clarifies, he would indeed be a welcome party guest, even if people on Reddit don't seem to think so (I have beef with 90% of reddit tier lists, save for any of them made by @starlight-tequila.) As I've come to understand, there're no less than 4 fictional interpretations of Pierce where he's being haunted. I request he keeps the haunting at home; I don't want the watchmojo demmons to mess up the vibe.

James Buchanan is invited. I want to see him in his worst outfit, behaving as he did at Dickinson before his expulsion. He needs to bring Harriet too. WRK too, unless I decide that he's also dead.

Andrew Johnson can come because I once saw an image of him smiling.

Ulysses Grant can come. He may play with the non dog animals (unfortunately, they're all just different Martin Van Buren government assigned rodentsonas in a pen.)

As can Hayes. Hayes can bring his wife, Lucy. She actually allowed drinking in the White House on special occasions, so she would not be a party pooper.

Garfield may come, but only as Lucretia's plus one. It's what he deserves. Since Guiteau did so much for Garfield's election (and was basically the president, let's be real, guys) he can come as an honorary president. So can David Rice Atchison, even though that story is complete bs. Dr. Doctor Bliss will be shot on sight by Boston Corbett.

Arthur is invited, but Julia Sand needs to pre-approve everything that he does. Conkling may come as a plus one, but he will go in the pen with the Martin Van Buren government assigned rodentsonas (it's okay, that's where Grant is anyway.)

On no other day would I ever allow Benjamin Harrison and his shortness within my sight, but I just found a song about him and it's stuck in my head, so I think it's only right that he attends 1 single time before my kind feelings toward him dry out.

McKinley is invited. He must sing to me.

Wilson is invited. But I will lock him in a room like a creature. You-know-who gets the key. The second female president, Edith Wilson, may attend.

Warren Harding gets to come. Gaston Means may, as well. Also Calvin Coolidge and Herbert Hoover. That's about it. If Nixon were to show up I wouldn't turn him away.

I'd like the party to end by sending an anonymous tip to Carrie A. Nation, telling her there is alcohol. She can come in, destroy everything, and all's well because if everything is destroyed, there's nothing to clean. She and Guiteau can ride into the sunset, combining to be a person of a normal height. I hope they invite me to the wedding.

[2rats1gogh]

Hi! I would like to know for you what would have been the fairest ending for the dance? I'm Team Neutral, yes, we exist,although some people say no and that we are undercover greens 🙄, I simply like to analyze both positions understand the motives behind a character based on their context🥲. I always see a lot of debate on this topic, I've seen team black constantly say that it's appropriate for the green line to disappear because they are usurpers and George punishes those who usurp...but...it can also be argued that Rhaenyra's heirs were usurping a broad list of legitimate Targaryens with more rights than them...they also consider it a "divine punishment" that she and her illegitimate children died for trying to place a boy with no real right to it on the throne? I find it quite curious to talk about the narrative punishing you when Rhaenyra and the Velaryon princes came out so badly. Honestly, for me the most fair and equitable ending since I think that both sides did things terribly wrong would have been to leave Aegon III as King (He's one of my favorite characters, I admit it) and Jaehaera as his Queen Consort. I think the dance has a more powerful message in this way, from a literary point of view I think it has much more impact, and I like Daenaera and the fact that she is Vaemond's granddaughter... it doesn't stop being funny 🥹, but those children were a reflection of the horrors that a war between relatives brings, they were never much in the spotlight of the conflict nor did they count much for their respective sides, so it would be poetic that they have to be the ones to take the Targaryen dynasty forward, of course along with the help of Viserys when he returned.

Have a nice afternoon!

Hi!!

I really like the pairing of Aegon III and Jaehaera and as much as I realize that they were both extremely traumatized children (Aegon’s father caused the death of Jaehaera’s twin brother and eventual madness of her mother and Aegon’s mother caused the death of Jaehaera’s other younger brother, but also Jaehaera’s father killed Aegon’s mother) I feel like with time they could’ve made it work.

I REALLY wish that Jaehaera would’ve stayed alive. It would’ve been tragic, but poetic. And even as team green, I actually don’t mind “Rhaenyra’s line surviving” because I think it should survive, but I also wish that Aegon’s didn’t die out. It saddens me so much that none of his children made it out alive, so I kinda hope that HotD changes the ending or whatever and Jaehaera lives.

I don’t mind Daenaera as a character but she doesn’t hit the same as Jaehaera. Her and Aegon could’ve been the poetic ending to this horrible war. Daenaera just doesn’t have the same impact, we barely even knew her. But Jaehaera was there all along.

Also, the children shouldn’t be blamed for the sins of their parents, which is why I think over time they could become closer. They are the only people who could understand each other’s pain, and forgive each other.

And again, it just makes sense. The war was useless, nobody won, and the two lines (green and black) were united. So that everyone gets their blood on the throne, Rhaenyra, Aegon, Alicent, Otto (and Daemon unfortunately). I don’t really care for Corlys, he never deserved that throne anyway, since he was such a misogynistic bitch about this whole inheritance thing that he preferred illegitimate children of his daughter-in-law rather than his very much legitimate granddaughters.

I don’t really mind the idea of Jaecaerys becoming king, I think he was a good guy overall, and him marrying Helaena could’ve been cool I guess, but the issue of Jaecaerys being illegitimate stays. And I never really liked them for some reason. And that whole thing about all three of Rhaenyra’s children with Harwin being doomed from the start is interesting imo, just like all Alicent’s children are doomed from the moment they are born.

Another, much more simpler solution to everything could’ve been Rhaenyra getting to become queen, but then naming Aegon his heir, instead of having children of her own, legitimate or not. That way she gets to be the ruler, and then her siblings continue her legacy. Everyone is happy or whatever.

But overall, I still think that given the way the Dance actually happens, I would much prefer for Jaehaera to stay alive and for her and Aegon III trying to make it work. It may take some time, but I feel like if given the opportunity they could’ve become something.

[ratgrinders]

I can't get over how not a single person has voted for Ivy as their favorite rger; it's very funny, but also a LITTLE sad cause I personally would love to know more about her, as right now we have. Nothing. Her being Fabian's foil could imply that she has some kind of rich family, but absent parents, but she didn't seem to show any sign of being posh like Fabian is/was, she was just... mean. Same goes for Mary Ann in terms of knowing nothing about her, especially not how she contrasts to Gorgug. I really hope we get more information! Do you have any guesses?

Yes it's so funny 😭😭😭😭but also understandable unfortunately lmaooo. She's the Rat Grinder we objectively know the LEAST about, she's had maybe like what, one and a half scenes? We know she's besties with Oisin, and that type of dynamic within the larger group of the Rat Grinders is VERY interesting to me, but other than that??? Nothing. I DO hope we learn more though ghfsfks just because right now there's not a lot to dig into!

As for the second part of your question, oh god WILD speculation time only tenuously based in canon under the cut lets gooooo:

I think the basis for the Rat Grinders status as the Bad Kids' foils is that they have what the Bad Kids want, but have superficial beef with the Bad Kids based on the version of them they have in their head. So you got Kipperlilly who wants Riz's tragic backstory despite her allegedly normal and whole family at home. Oisin is rich thanks to his family while Adaine struggles with money thanks to hers, and maybe seems to have beef with the Elven Oracle as that's what led to Kalvaxus' defeat. Ruben has the song of the summer just as Fig is in the middle of an artist's block. Etc, etc.

So going off of that, what does Fabian want more than anything else this season? To not be lonely. I think it'd make sense then if Ivy actually had a really present, loving(?) family who nonetheless still turned out kind of mean. I think she has no problem living up to her family's expectations, no matter what they are. As for the family itself, well the Gloom Stalker subclass is "at home in the darkest places i.e. in primeval forests". And what's the nearest dark forest with a population of wood elves? Sylvaire, formerly the Forest of the Nightmare King. Specifically Arborly, since that's the town near there that protects the entrance to the forest. I think Ivy is possibly how the Rat Grinders got the Nightmare King connection in the whole reviving a dead god thing. Of course, this is all WILD speculation.

As for Mary Ann, what does Gorgug want? This is a bit less clear as his arc developed over the course of the season, but I'd say he wants a stronger connection to his artificing (and by proxy, his gnomish parents), he wants a balance between that and barbarian and a healthy relationship to his rage, and I think part of what ticks him off so much about Mary Ann is just how uncaring she seems, that she can seem so unengaged about things and still be such a great barbarian while he has to CONSTANTLY balance and filter his emotions and focus to succeed in his two classes. So I think it's possible Mary Ann was also adopted by a different species, but this time by barbarians so there was never any struggle on her part to relate to the classes of her parents. Her parents just Got rage immediately, she grew up with an innate understanding of it and is able to perfectly modulate it despite seeming so monotone outside it. And I think it'd be very funny if specifically Mary Ann, and only Mary Ann, has no outward beef with the Bad Kids and is actually kind of ok with Gorgug lmao.

I can't WAIT for all of this to get Jossed by the end of the season lmaoooooooooooo.

[raconteur-wanpi]

Apparently people are going crazy with theories over Queen's updated Vivre Card, and while those, as I've complained before, tend to be extremely untrustworthy and full of retcons and decanonized errors, IF it is to be trusted there's so much funny shit to unpack here. I don't even know where to begin. Like.

-The information that MADS was formed 39-40 years ago. The idea that those three stooges (since the other two known members are like, 1-2 decades older) were actual minors when they started building literal chemical weapons of war (16-17 years old) is fucking wild. Lu Feld out there creating new exciting ways to do child labor. Loosing my mind. But it's OK because these are the world's Most Evil Teenagers and they yearn for the unethical science mines.

-It also, apparently lasted for 10 years. Those guys were working together for a decade. Which honestly makes a lot of interactions they have with and about each other both make more sense and way funnier. I guess Vegapunk feeling the need to keep Caesar around even during the Punk Hazard days, despite the fact that he's. well. himself, makes more sense considering he had already worked with the guy for a decade. That will numb you to a lot of red flags lmao. It also makes the Neo MADS cover story of Judge initially not recognizing Caesar, absolutely hysterical. Who the fuck are you (directed at a guy he worked with for ten whole years).

-Yeah let's get it out of the way, if this vivre card information is canon, Mr. The Plague has a son he's abandoned. People are going wild trying to figure out who it is and everyone's either banking on Weevil (which feels like, he's more likely to be just a failed clone of Newgate, so I'm not sure if it's him? Still could work I guess.) and. let's get it out of the way. Franky. And unfortunately for everyone, not only does the timeline line-up perfectly, like, too perfectly (his son is stated to be 36 years old and abandoned at the age of 10, when Queen was already with the Beast Pirates). Franky is 36, abandoned at the age of 10, and stated his parents were pirates. But also, Franky never saw Queen in his human form (only in his dino form) back at Onigashima so like. so he couldn't have made any comments about him. I have no idea if it's true. But like, can you fucking imagine. Can you imagine. Not one. Two. Two Strawhats that were abandoned by their MADS fathers. That's so funny. And tragic. Can anyone in this organization be normal about children for ONCE I am begging you. I'm including Vegapunk in this; what the fuck is going on with the Seraphim. Heartbreaking: the last five people on the planet that should ever be having any kids keep having and/or picking up kids. Anyway yeah, this could easily be a bait and switch but the fact this is a possibility is haunting me. I don't know if I believe it, but I kind of want to.

-Oh yeah, his real name is Scien. You know. like Science. Apparently. Which is very stupid but also kinda fun. Honestly if it was romanized as something like "Psien" or "Saien" or "Psion" or "Scion" or "Cyan" it'd probably feel less goofy.

That's it that's all the new info. It is completely useless but mildly entertaining to me in extremely funny ways. Have fun and do what you will with it.