#it's super late but better late than never i guess lmao

[stellastra-scribbles]

"Kirch looks up to see the Lady of Twilight herself... She wears a deep blue gown formed of the starless night sky itself... A crown of vibrant sunset-colored roses... gilds her head, and the length of her dark hair reaches the ground. She takes the guise of an Altmer for once, Kirch notes with a small amount of surprise. She even spoke in his native tongue."

A totally not super late birthday gift for my buddy, callistron, featuring their Nerevarine lad, Kirch, and cal's design for an Altmeri Azura~

WIPs/progress shots below the cut~

[divinari]

[SUGGESTIVE]

Luxuries few can afford~ 🦉🦚💜💖💜💖💜

+ bonus Timelapse (again lol)

[sugoi-and-spice]

Taking Care, Taking What's Mine - A "Play Nice" Commission

Summary: A Play Nice AU Chapter, in which, rather than taking the high road and trying to build a real relationship with the girl he's been sextorting for weeks, Tomura Shigaraki baby-traps her instead.

CW: Quirkless!AU, Dub-Con, Smut, Extortion, Baby-Trapping, Forced Pregnancy, Love-Bombing, Manipulation, Power Play, Possessive Shigaraki, Yandere Shigaraki, Morning Sickness, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

AO3 Link

A/N: Happy fucking Father's Day readers!! Lmao! I got this AMAZING commission a while ago to write an AU of my AU (a fanfic writer's dream come true honestly), of Shigaraki baby-trapping MC and well, while it took longer then I meant it to to come out, I'm so glad that I could post it on Father' Day of all days lmao.

Anyway though, this was so much fun to write. Shigaraki has been on the journey of bettering himself for so long in Play Nice now, it was a total blast returning to form and writing him nice and scummy again.

I'd love to do more of these honestly, so as a reminder: I give discounts on Commissions that take place in my AU's.

Play Nice, Burnt Bridges, Step by Step -- all of them. They're super fun for me to write and most of the heavy-lifting of ideating and plotting has already been done for them, so I'm happy to write fics like this for cheaper. :)

Anyway, enjoy some forced parentification on this day of dads. xD

“Hey, hey— are you alright?”

She lifted her head from where she’d been resting it against her gym locker, the coolness of the metal being the first thing to even remotely ease the headache she’d been fighting for the last three days. 

“Yeah, of course,” she tried to force a weak smile as Nejire approached her, clearly concerned, “Why do you ask?

The captain was dressed in her practice suit. And she quickly realized that so were all the other girls, most of them already making their way out the doors to the pool deck. She was the lone straggler who hadn’t even managed to undo her uniform tie yet. Nejire looked over at these girls, and then back to her, wordlessly demonstrating why that should be obvious.

She laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of her head, “Okay, I guess I’m feeling a bit under the weather today…”

And that was the understatement of the century. She felt like absolute shit . Piling on top of that stubborn pounding in her head were a pair of really sore tits, a lethargy that stuck with her no matter how much vending machine coffee she chugged, and cramps that had shot straight out of hell and directly into her uterus.

But to be honest, she couldn’t complain too much about these ailments. In fact, she was pretty damn relieved. These were all her tell-tale signs of PMS. They were a little worse than usual this time around sure, but if that was the tradeoff for the relief of not being pregnant, she’d take it in a heartbeat. Her period was only one day late at this point and it had all but paralyzed her with fear.

Of course in retrospect, the fear did seem a bit silly. After all, Shigaraki’s creepy family doctor had warned her there might be some changes.

“I never start patients new to birth control immediately on a Long Acting Reversible Contraception,” he explained, “Especially not teenagers.”

“Why not?” she demanded, “It’s reversible, right? It’s not like you’re tying my tubes or anything.”

“No, but you never know how your body is going to react to the hormonal shift. You could develop acne, weight gain, hair growth—”

“I don’t care about that superficial stuff.”

“... Migraines, blood clots, depression,” he continued, looking at her pointedly.

She looked away, feeling a bit stupid for interrupting him now that he’d listed the more serious side-effects.

“I’m not saying you have to stay on the pill forever. But give it a few months, see how you feel on it. It can help us better determine which long-term birth control is best for your body without any unnecessarily invasive procedures.”

She shuddered at the very thought of being stuck in this set-up with Shigaraki for months. She hoped he’d get bored of her sooner rather than later.

Well, on the brightside, at least this sketchy-ass doctor seemed to be as interested in looking under her skirt as she was having him down there. However, this still left the ever so pertinent issue of:

“Okay, but there’s still the issue of getting the pills. No pharmacy is going to give me these without signed parental consent.” She had the always convenient Japanese purity culture to thank for that.

Ujiko simply smiled and pulled out a wheel of birth control pills from his medical bag right then and there.

“Consider these the same as this appointment,” he said, cupping his hands over hers and placing the wheel firmly into her palm, “ Off the record. ”

And then the rest of the “appointment” had descended into one of extremely thinly-veiled intimidation that bizarrely enough, she’d relied on Shigaraki of all people to save her from. By that point, she’d been scared so shitless she had very little argument left in her to try and reason him into just giving her the damn IUD.

The regret of not standing her ground on the issue did hit her later that night on the train home. Particularly when she thought over the fact that the way they were keeping these pills off the record was by having her pick up her refills through Shigaraki. The idea of giving him even more power over her like that made her feel sick to her stomach. And yes, while logically she knew that he had just as much motivation to keep her from getting pregnant as she did (she had a feeling All for One would not take too kindly to his star successor knocking up a lowly commoner such as herself), she still just had a bad feeling about the whole thing.

So she’d resolved herself on her first refill day to completely lay into Shigaraki for any level of tomfoolery he may get up to in this situation. There would be no forgetting, no being too busy to pick up the pills for her, absolutely nothing. She was ready to rain full fire and brimstone on him if there was even a hint of bullshit.

But to her surprise (and relief), she hadn’t even crossed the threshold of his bedroom before he was tossing a new pack to replace her wheel with. Simple and nonchalant, and then he was just as quick as always to badger her about getting her clothes off already, get on the bed already, break up with your boyfriend already.

It was the same old, same old — for better or for worse. Even if she couldn’t trust Tomura Shigaraki himself, that action had at least ensured that she could trust his own desire for self-preservation.

And that was better than nothing she supposed.

Back in the locker room, Nejire asked her, “Do you think you’re coming down with something?”

She smiled at her friend, joking, “Nothing I don’t come down with every month.”

Nejire tilted her head in confusion for a moment before the lightbulb visibly lit up in her head.

“Ohhhhh,” Nejire nodded sympathetically, “Yeah, Aunt Flow can be a real meanie sometimes, huh?”

She laughed, then winced as the action worsened the throbbing in her head,  “Damn it— you can say that again.”

Nejire’s brows furrowed and she brought a hand to the small of her friend’s back, “Hey, why don’t you take this afternoon off?”

She looked back to her, surprised, “Oh no, I couldn’t…”

“Sure you could!” Nejire chirped, “And honestly, you probably should. We’re working on our weakest strokes today. I had you down to work on your fly.”

Visible dread filled her as she thought about doing that much undulation in her current state.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Nejire laughed, “Seriously, go home. We’ll miss you, but we love you too. So we want you to take care of yourself.”

She debated a little more internally, one other loose thread dropping into her mind’s eye.

“If I do… Do you mind—”

“I’ll let Mirio know,” she shot her a wink as she clarified, “ After practice. I’ll let him know you just need the peace and quiet.”

She smiled at Nejire, genuinely grateful. This. This right here was what made all of the bending over backwards she did to fit in and please others worth it. To be cared about by such a good person. 

The warmth of that care stayed with her all the way out to the school gates, where she was then immediately filled with dread upon realizing that she’d need to go in one of two directions depending on where she was going after school: the train station home, or the walk to Shigaraki’s.

And just which direction she was scheduled to go today.

She let out a long groan, anguished and loud enough to startle a couple members of the going home club that passed her. For once though, she didn’t care about her reputation, she was too focussed on what a goddamn nightmare she was falling into.

She pulled out her cellphone with a sigh. Yes she knew the effort was probably futile, but damn her if she didn’t at least try.

Yup. She could’ve seen that coming from a mile away. She sighed as she shoved her phone back into her bag and started the very slow trek over to Shigaraki’s. 

“Wow, you weren’t kidding,” Shigaraki said as he looked her over his doorway, “You look like shit.”

She shot him a wholly unimpressed look as she shoved past him into his bedroom.

“Yeah, I fucking told you.” 

Shigaraki, surprisingly, didn't have anything to say about her tone, even with her brusqueness towards him being more than usual. He just watched her drop down face first onto his bed and curl her legs up into her chest.

She sighed at the slight relief the position gave her. While dealing with Shigaraki’s antics was about the last thing she wanted right now, she supposed that at least she could be grateful for how much closer his apartment was to her school then her own home was. It saved her a good fifty-minutes of white-knuckling a train stanchion to keep down her groans of pain. Now at least she could get the relief of laying down much sooner.

If only for a little bit.

“What’s going on?”

She bristled at Shigaraki’s voice, the unwelcome reminder that she wasn’t going to be able to truly relax right now. And while there didn’t seem to be any entendre or even impatience in his question, the fact that his voice was getting closer to her was enough to make her suspicious.

“My head aches, my back aches, my boobs ache — everything aches,” she grumbled down into his sheets, “And I feel like I’ve been donkey-kicked straight in the uterus.”

“You start your period or something?”

He didn’t sound sarcastic when he asked it, not that typical boy way of asking any time a girl did something they considered “moody”. It was a genuine question. But it irritated her all the same. 

Everything seemed to be irritating her these days.

“About to,” she answered, “It’s like a day late, but it’s definitely coming.”

She felt the bed shift a bit as he sat next to her.

“Are you nauseous at all?”

Her brows furrowed, a bit confused by the interest.

“I guess a little,” she answered, because even though it was mild, there was a certain turn in her stomach that wasn’t unlike motion sickness, “But honestly, I think it’s just from the pain. This has been going on for like three days.”

“Have you taken anything for it?”

She could’ve laughed if she wasn’t so annoyed by the reminder of all her futile attempts to alleviate this. Because of course he was looking for a quick fix so they could fuck already.

“I’ve taken everything for it,” she groaned, “Nothing’s working.”

He just hummed in response, and then she could feel the sheets behind her dip a bit as he repositioned himself. Into what orientation, she wasn’t sure. She was about to turn her head back and ask him what he was doing when she felt his hand featherlight across her hip.

And between her legs.

“No, Shigaraki please,” she whined, pulling he knees closer into her chest, “I’m not kidding, I’m seriously in a lot of pain—”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Tell that to your hand then,” she snapped as his fingers tried to wiggle their way between her clenched thighs.

“I mean I’m not doing anything for me. This is for you.”

“Oh is it now,” she deadpanned.

“I’m not gonna fuck you,” he insisted, more irritably this time, “Orgasms help with cramps, right?”

She stilled, sufficiently stumped by that particular statement. Because yes, she could say from experience that they absolutely did. She’d spent many a nasty period with her fingers latched to clit to chase that particular path of relief. 

…but why the hell did Shigaraki know that?

She gasped as she suddenly felt the gentle roll of her clit under three fingers. Apparently, in her moments of distracted deliberation, Shigaraki managed to push his hand past the plush lock of her thighs and under the hem of her panties.

“Sh-Shigaraki…” she whined, pushing her elbow blindly and weakly back towards him.

He caught it gently in his free palm and, rather than trying to pin or strain it in whatever which way he desired, like usual, he just held it there. Didn’t even hold it in place really, just shielded himself against its determined path towards his ribs.

“I’m serious,” he said, uncharacteristically soft, “I’m trying to help you.”

She finally mustered up the strength to — despite how much her aching abdomen hated her for it — turn and glower at Shigaraki.

“No funny business?” she pressed.

He settled his own flat expression on her, “When have I ever been funny?”

More times than she’d like to admit honestly, but she got what he was saying here. He was a pretty serious, straightforward person on principle. He didn’t bullshit, he didn’t pull cheap tricks, and, shockingly enough, he didn’t typically lie. Frustrating as it was, Tomura Shigaraki was pretty much always unapologetically himself and he always did what he wanted.

So if he said that he was doing this to help her, then she supposed that she didn't actually have a lot of reason to distrust him.

Plus, his fingers hadn’t stopped their soft, but affective ministrations between her legs, and the pleasant sparks of heated relief they were sending through her were undeniable.

She turned back onto her side with a sigh that was half-exasperation, half pleasure.

“Fine,” she said, throwing back quickly before he got too victorious, “But fuck around and I’ll kick you.”

Shigaraki just chuckled, a soft throaty sound that shouldn’t have sent the chills up her spine that it did, “Yeah, yeah…”

In one motion, careful not to jostle her too much, Shigaraki both pulled her back and scooched himself closer, until her back was nestled snug against his surprisingly firm chest and her head laid in the crux of his bicep.

With this new closeness he was able to be a bit more deliberate with the angle and pressure he used to rub at her swollen sex. And, while she hated to admit it, the increased blood flow between her legs was causing the pressure within her to build quite a bit faster than usual. Enough so that it had her letting go of the tension in her neck and joints — the automatic stress reaction she had to any of Shigaraki’s displays of intimacy — and letting the weight of her head drop fully into his embrace.

A shuddering sigh left Shigaraki at that clear relinquishing of control, of the way she truly let herself lay back and relax into him. It gave him the encouragement he needed to enjoy her to the fullest extent that he wanted her as well, burying his nose deep into her hair. 

He started to stroke wider circles around her, the flats of his fingers never leaving her clit, but now allowing the tips to dip softly into her entrance. He didn’t push them in at all past his first knuckles, just enough to catch some of that growing wetness and spread it all across her fluttering lips.

“A-Ah—” she gasped out, “Sh-shit…”

“Like that?” he rasped, hot against her ear.

She bit her lip, nodding needily, “Mm— Mm-hmm…”

He groaned at the response, doubling down on that motion as he started to stud long, hot kisses down the back of her jaw and neck. The feeling, so gentle and intimate and good in combination to the way he worked her sex, had her unconsciously rocking her hips into his touch, and back into his own.

Vaguely through the haze, she could feel the familiar outline of his stiff cock against the cleft of her ass, but shockingly he didn’t try to grind it against her for relief. If anything actually, when her own hips moved unconsciously back against it, he actually shifted his own hips away, anglind them down so his erection pushed into the bed instead. As if he didn’t want her to feel it, that he was concerned about her feeling pressured by its presence.

She didn’t have the chance to think too much into that though, not when his fingers were coaxing her closer to the edge by the second. The mess between her legs was obscene at this point, through teary eyes she could see the overflow of it spreading wide across her thighs and pooling down in the sheets. 

“God look at you, so fucking wet,” he groaned, lips having made it down to her shoulder and staying there so that he could have a better view of her writhing under his touch, “You needed this, huh? Fucking needed me…”

She buried her face into his arm to muffle her moans, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of an answer, but also not wanting him to stop.

By some act of God, Shigaraki didn’t push for that answer either. She wasn’t sure why he’d abandoned his typical demands and taunts, didn’t threaten to stop until she gave him the verbal submission and begrudging praise he always wanted. Nor did she stop to think about why, she just let the gratitude course through her, spurred further and wider by the waves of heat rushing through her body, threatening — promising — to overflow.

Shigaraki could feel that axiomatic tension in her body, the boiling point it promised, and sped up his hand to stoke the flames.

“You’re close aren’t you? Oh yeah, you’re close…” his kisses turned to nips at her neck between progressively more demanding growls, “Gonna be a good girl and come for me?”

Fuck, hearing those last words spill from his mouth should not have done what it was doing to her. But it was speeding up her peak, and it was speeding it up audibly.

“Yeah, yeah that’s good, really good. Let it go. Go ahead, be a good girl and let it go.”

She cried out, her arching back forcing her face forward and mouth unmuffled as finally, finally her body went blissfully loose, the pain of the past few days overtaken by waves of heat and pleasure. One after the other, her hormone-driven sensitivity wrung out multiple orgasms, and his frantic fingers were happy to work her through each one until she was begging him to stop.

“Good girl, yeah, yeah, just like that. That’s a good girl,” he continued to praise, returning time and again to that phrase he could feel her getting unconsciously excited over, “That’s my good girl…”

It was just a few blurry moments of consciousness after that. She was pretty sure she whined something like “too much” to him at some point, and he whispered back something that she was sure was just utterly debauched right back. Or maybe it was sweet nothings, he had really favored those by the end of this escapade after all. 

Whatever it all was, she supposed it didn’t matter. All that mattered in those seconds of labored breaths and fluttering lashes was the beautiful bliss and relief that finally overtook her body. That allowed her to immediately fall asleep in his arms.

Shigaraki held her there for a long time after. He raked his eyes greedily across her body, letting himself carve every detail deep into his memory. He knew he didn’t need to, not anymore. Her boyfriend, her parents, hell, whether or not she got into Todai with him, it was all a non-issue now. There was no reason for him to lose this anymore. She wasn’t going anywhere in life without him. He was going to be able to revel in this sight for the rest of his life now. And he just couldn’t believe how lucky he was for that.

He chuckled a bit at that. Well, maybe lucky wasn’t the right word. This was all by design after all, weeks of very deliberate planning and deception. It was just like he’d always been taught. It didn’t matter what hand you’ve been dealt — and Tomura Shigaraki had certainly been dealt a shit hand in a lot of ways — a real winner made his own luck. 

Sensei would be mad, Shigaraki knew that much. Everyone would be mad in fact, but he didn’t care. He was just following the fundamental lesson Sensei himself had instilled in him the day they met. 

Take whatever you want, and fuck all the rest.

Several minutes into hearing those sweet deep breaths of unconsciousness from the beautiful girl in his arms, Shigaraki finally peeled his fingers away from her cunt.

And slid a wide hand up to cradle her tummy.

It was dark when she woke up, not a single one of Shigaraki’s many monitors or television lit the windowless room. That was odd for a couple of reasons, the first of which being that the overhead lighting had definitely been on when she’d dozed off. The second of which was that any time Shigaraki wasn’t preoccupied with helping her study or studying her, he was chronically attached to at least one screen, if not multiple, so it was more than a bit odd for him to have zero on. The reason for the lack of blue light however became quickly apparent as her eyes finally adjusted to the darkness.

Shigaraki wasn’t here.

She was totally alone in his room, alone and tucked into his bed. Had he gone to the bathroom or something? But then why would all the lights be off? It seemed like he’d probably been gone for a while. Weird…

She threw off the covers and flipped her legs around with much more ease than she’d done anything over the last three days, much to her relief. However long she’d been out, the sleep had clearly done her some good. The pounding in her head and pelvis had finally ceased, perhaps just in time for her to actually start her period. She did feel some dampness between her legs after all. Although…

Her face heated up as she remembered the much more likely cause of that.

Damn it, she thought with a groan, dropping her head into her hands. She couldn’t believe that she actually let him do that to her, for her. He was going to get entirely the wrong idea from it. The idea that she might actually like him and want to spend time with him, that there was some kind of connection between them that extended past the time she was required to spend with him to keep him satisfied. And she absolutely could not deal with that.

Being his little sex toy was one thing. A demoralizing thing, yes, but a manageable one. She’d seen the way Shigaraki treated things he objectified — games and magazines and the like. He got bored of them quickly. And if she was one of those things in his eyes, then eventually he’d get bored with her too and she’d be free.

If he was attached to her though? Had found connection in her and a desire to keep her in his life? She didn’t even want to consider that nightmare scenario.

She made her way out into the hallway, looking up and down from the empty bathroom on one end of the hall to the top of the staircase on the other. She didn’t have to contemplate the lack of presence on this floor for long though, when she heard Shigaraki’s voice echoing up from downstairs, talking emphatically to Kurogiri, she assumed. 

She couldn’t hear exactly what he was talking about, but whatever it was, he was being particular about it. “Don’t overcook” and “perfect” were a few of the words she managed to catch, so it was about food, maybe? The accompanying sounds of sizzling pans and clanking cookware would certainly support that. As would the smell that suddenly hit her.

It wasn’t an unpleasant smell by any means. In fact, it was salmon, one of her favorites. But for some reason at that moment, the smell hit her with a particular intensity that made her feel overwhelmed.

And really fucking nauseous.

She just barely made it to the toilet at the end of the hall, not even fully down to her knees by the time she was emptying her stomach into the bowl. It wasn’t just a brief moment of sickness either. The bouts were loud and long, she was sure that it echoed throughout the entire apartment. It left her red-faced, skin covered and hair clumped with sweat, not to mention still gagging long after she had nothing left to gag on.

A hand she barely even noticed came to rest on the small of her back in the midst of it all. It was only in the aftermath, spent and dry-heaving that she could process the fact that it was Shigaraki, kneeling at her side, patiently stroking small circles into her clammy skin and encouraging her softly.

“Let it out. Just let it all out.”

She groaned once she finally seemed to have a solid thirty seconds of dry, steady breath. And Shigaraki used that respite to nudge a glass of water into her hands.

“Here.”

She didn’t argue or agree, just took it from him with shaky hands, tossing half of it just into her mouth to swish around and spit the remaining bitterness from her tongue.

 “Drink some of it too.”

She nodded shakily, still too drained and disoriented to be irritated with his telling her what to do, or suspicious of the fact that he was being so nice. 

And still, as she took entirely too long to finish the rest of her water with timid little sips, he just knelt on the ground with her, moving the hand on her back to rest on her knee, thumb rubbing circles into the spot where a bruise would undoubtedly form. 

Finally, after a long, silent stretch, she managed to croak out, “W-What time is it?”

“Only seven,” he answered, “Kurogiri’s got dinner almost ready downstairs. Seared salmon, brown rice, avocado salad—”

She whined, shaking her head roughly at the very implication of food.

“Don’t like salmon?”

“I-I do… It’s just—” she gagged a little as she remembered that smell that had set this all off in the first place, “Th-The smell right now. It’s too much…”

“Oh yeah…” he nodded understandingly, muttering something to himself that she couldn’t quite make out. It sounded kind of like, “Heightened” and “Read about that…”

Her brows furrowed a bit, frustrated and confused. She was getting the feeling that he was really not telling her something.

“W-What?”

Shigaraki just waved her off, “No, that’s fine, that’s fine. Salmon’s not the only thing he made. There’s sauteed spinach, wakame tofu soup, toasted—” 

Jesus Christ, was Kurogiri cooking for an army down there or something? 

Well, whoever it was all for, and as delicious as it all sounded in theory, imagining those foods in practice right now was making her feel sick all over again.

“Mm-mm, Mm-mm!” she whined, shaking her head again.

She didn’t want to risk opening her mouth right now, lest she blow chunks all over the front of Shigaraki’s shirt. Although wouldn’t that be a nice little serving of karma for him…

“You need to eat something,” he insisted, more lecturey than she’d ever heard him, but with a strange gentleness to his voice as well, “And you need to drink some more too. You’re totally dehydrated.”

She shook her head more emphatically at that, which only resulted in her falling forward into his chest. 

He caught her before she could fall any further, scolding her not too harshly, in fact, a bit whimsically, “Is this how you’re gonna be the whole time?”

She pulled her head back to look at him, a confused furrow in her brows that brought the corners of his lips up.

“It’s not a bad look on you to be honest. All weak and petulant,” he brought a hand to pinch lightly at her cheek, “It’s kinda cute actually.”

Her eyes narrowed, finally feeling her stomach steady enough in her to be annoyed. He chuckled, just as amused and endeared by this look as the last. 

“Well how about okayu?” he offered with a patronizing little lilt, “And maybe some ginger tea?”

He clearly wasn’t going to let this go. And infuriatingly, he was right not to. She definitely was in no shape to go home on this empty stomach. 

She sighed.

“Yeah… Yeah okay.”

Going at her own shaking, snailish pace, Shigaraki helped her up onto her legs, pulling her immediately into his side as he led her back towards his bedroom. Normally she’d protest, stick an elbow right into his ribs and storm on ahead of him, but honestly she needed the help right now. So she sucked it up and let him lead her back into his bed. 

But that didn’t stop her from eying him suspiciously as he propped his pillows up behind her and tucked her back in under his comforter, the overall way he doted and fretted over her, even stopping to look back at her one more time from the doorway before he returned downstairs to give Kurogiri the new marching orders.

She dropped her head back against the pillows when finally alone, a bad feeling settling heavier and heavier in her stomach. This was beyond weird, the way he was acting. Sure, the guy was overbearing and constantly demanding of her attention, stupidly needy even. But doting? Not only willing but eager to put her needs ahead of his own? Caring deeply about her actual well-being and not just what he wanted to be her well-being? This was all way too out of character for him.

“…You can tell me. If he bothered you, I mean. N-Not just the Doctor either… If um… If anything’s bothering you.”

She sighed at the memory. Alright, maybe she wasn’t giving him enough credit. He’d shown at least some capability and even interest in her wants and well-being, he wasn’t a complete monster.

But still, all of this? The cooing and the caring and the, erm, servicing even that he’d done? It felt like too much. Like she was missing something really key about it all.

Like something was wrong .

Whether she ended up getting lost in that train of thought for long, or Kurogiri had already had some okayu whipped up downstairs, she wasn’t sure, but she was startled by how quickly it seemed that Shigaraki returned with a breakfast tray in hand. She cocked her head as he set it up over her lap, this was a lot more robust than she was expecting, and, she realized as she examined everything on the tray, a lot more stocked as well.

There was okayu, front and center for her, yes. But also on the tray was another small bowl of soup (looked like the wakame that Shigaraki had mentioned, a thing of plain yogurt (the really fancy kind that came in the glass jars), a glass of orange juice…

And a little dish of four pills. 

Painkillers or antiemetics maybe? They looked more like vitamins…

“Go ahead and start with the okayu if you want,” Shigaraki explained as he climbed up into the bed next to her, “But I want you to try and get some of the wakame and yogurt down too…”

As he settled down, his legs flush with her own, he continued to rattle off instructions and explanations for the rest of her tray, sending her mind completely spinning, faster and faster, like a goddamn Gravitron.

And she was ready to get the fuck off.

“...if nothing else though, take the vitamins. You need the folate, calcium, iron, and the omega-3 especially, since you don’t want the salmon—”

“Okay, stop, stop, stop !”

Shigaraki paused, having the audacity to look at her like she was crazy for snapping. 

“Jesus—what the hell are you even talking about Shigaraki?!” she demanded, “What’d you say, folate? What? What is all this?”

He cocked his head, clearly playing innocent. Whatever this was, he was clearly enjoying the slow unraveling of it all.

“What’re you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about!” she snapped, “All this attention and doting and food stuff! What the hell is this all about?!”

He just smiled back at her, taking in how pretty she looked, even when mad (especially when mad sometimes), God, to think that this really was his forever now. He wondered if they had a girl, how much she’d look like her. He hoped a lot…

“I just want to make sure you’re getting all the vitamins and nutrients you need…”

He reached over then, spreading his hand flat against her stomach.

“ Both of you .”

She froze.

No.

No, he couldn’t mean—

She tried to speak, tried to ask what the ever-loving- fuck he was talking about, but her mouth had seemed to go dry. She tried several times to open and wet it a bit, but every time she did, it felt like her throat was closing too. It took at least four desperate attempts for her to finally force out one rasped:

“... what? ”

Shigaraki’s grin widened, and he started to rub circles gently across her belly.

“You’re gonna look so cute, all big and round with my kid,” he giggled suddenly as he remembered something, “Oh, and your tits too. I wonder how big they’re gonna get…”

She stared at him, unblinking, unbreathing. Everything but un-fucking-existing.

He couldn’t be serious. He was fucking with her. He had to be fucking with her!

“Th-That’s not funny.”

His grin evened a little, not disappearing outright, but settling away some of its blissful excitement into something more coyly victorious.

“I said it already,” he reminded, “When have I ever been funny?”

She shook her head in disbelief.

“N-No. No, no, no this isn’t— there’s no way—”

“I’ve got the tests ready when you need to pee, but I think it’s pretty clear. These are all the symptoms I read about.”

“No!” she insisted, “N-No, no— this is, it’s my period! It’s just a day late, it’s not—!”

He chuckled, “I know the symptoms can be similar, but come on. When’s the last time you’ve hurled like that thanks to your period? And the sensitivity to smell? You know this is different.”

Crumbling, every argument she could possibly think of was crumbling to dust before she could even get the thought fully formed. And cruel, vicious reality was more than happy to take its place.

“B-But my birth control pills…”

“Fertility pills,” he explained, his splitting-grin returning in full, “I would’ve preferred to get Clomid from the doctor, but it looks like the over the counter stuff and tracking your cycle worked just fine.”

Her stomach dropped. Pieces of memories, peculiar behaviors and nagging thoughts she’d had over the last two months falling into place. How there were stretches of times where he’d cancel their sessions, only to insist they make them up a few specific days in a row. How he wanted to go multiple rounds a lot those days. How he’d stopped wanting blowjobs from her entirely. How he seemed to only want to fuck her from behind or with her knees pressed hard into her chest, positions he could fuck her the deepest in.

And how he’d have her stay still with his cock buried in her after he came. 

Back then, she just thought he was being weird and pervy. And in a way she was right.

Horribly fucking right.

Shigaraki shifted his legs away from her so that he could bring his head down to her lap, laying his cheek blissfully against her belly. 

“Was so easy,” he hummed against her skin, “Like your body was just waiting for me to knock you up. Waiting for me to make you mine…”

His hands moved across her body, one coiling behind her back so that he could pull her tighter into him, the other lacing his fingers through her own. The fingers on her trembling left hand.

“Both of you, forever,” he growled happily, a predator who had finally and definitively sunk his teeth into his prey, “All mine.”

[redvexillum]

✨️ New Year, New M- Same Hot Mess ✨️

It’s my birthday today, so I thought I’d give everyone a small update about my plans for this year. (In reality, I just wanted to scream “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY” at you all, but let’s pretend this is productive.)

So, my grand master plan for the new year was to follow this super organized schedule for all my WIPs. And guess what? My brain took one look at that and went, "LMAO, no."

So, instead, I'm focusing on finishing the rest of my New Year Kisses—because hey, better late than never, right? Unfortunately, that means I'm totally missing my spot in the VoxTek Winter Prompt collection (RIP my precious spot, it was nice while it lasted). Oh, and remember that Lucifer Angst story? Yeaaaahhhh, that was supposed to be out two weeks ago—but 🎆 surprise 🎆, it’s getting yeeted onto the back burner. Again.

For those of you following my ongoing rivalry with Kit, you’ll be delighted to know that I am officially following in her footsteps of procrastination. She has this fic, 🌻 Sunflower 2 🌻 that she’s been hyping up for literally forever, only to keep pushing the release back every season like a fashion collection. Well, folks… I regret to inform you that I have become her. //insert audible gasp

And the reason? Blame @peach-flavored-flambe

That little chaos-reigned gremlin handed me a ✨️ new ✨️ hyperfixation, and now I’m knee-deep in a mini series.

The only hint I’ll give you?

Transmigration.

I can already hear some of you gagging, “Ughhh, that trope is so overdone!” And to that, I say: Do you trust me? (Answer: Do Not)

Chaos reigns, schedules are a lie, and I’ll see you all when I post the rest of my New Year Kisses and then...imma be busy drafting since I learned my lesson to not post a series when it's not done (higher chance of discontinuance).

Peace! ✌️

[lysa1201-saucy]

hi can i request body worship with jumin han? tyyy <3

Hiiii sorry this is super late, life is crazy and I’m still trying to learn how to write NSFW better (which is why I’ve taken these requests lol) and also trying to learn how to write GN reader to be more inclusive!

I hope this is good or at least is good enough LMAO I tried my best 🙏 Thank you SO much for the request 🥰

if it’s bad, no it wasn’t, it’s my birthday, be nice 2 me

++++

Never Seen Anything More Perfect - Jumin Han x GN!Reader

18+ ONLY

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Warnings: body worship (obviously lol, unless I’m a terrible writer and did it wrong cuz oops), oral but I keep body parts ✨ambiguous✨, marking, and some hand stuff idk handjob i guess idk

Word Count: 418

++++

Jumin was quite the attentive man. Always spoiling you, caring for you. Too cold? New jacket for you, a new blanket, want a heater? He’s got it. Bored? Here’s a new TV, some games, subscriptions to your favorite streaming services, quite anything you like.

He loves to spoil you. However, he has one area he likes to spoil most.

Your body.

God, he loves your body. Your eyes, your nose, your lips, your hair, your ears, your neck, your chest, your arms, your hands, your ass, your thighs, God the list can go on and on. He’s in love with you.

Every single part of you. Every inch. And he loves to show you that.

He had you moaning on his bed, sucking where you’re most sensitive as he went down on you, making sure you feel the absolute best. You look so perfect when he’s making you feel so good. You tug at his hair, confused on whether you want him to pull away and fuck you, or to keep going and let you cum all over his face.

“You’re so amazing,” he would praise you, leaving kisses all around your pleasurable space. “So perfect… can never get tired of how wonderful you are. Your sounds, the way you blush, the way you cum… always so satisfying. My favorite thing is you.” He would go on, kissing all over your body. Your thighs, your hips, your chest, a small suck and nibble on your nibbles, and his favorite part: your neck.

God, he loved your neck. Sucking on it, biting it, kissing it. And your jaw. He needed all of you, who was he kidding? “I could stare at your body all day. I want to kiss it all, mark it all, you’re so fucking perfect.”

“More perfect than Elizabeth the 3rd?” You chuckled a bit, testing him. In response, he moved his hand down to your groin to start playing with you, causing your chuckle to be replaced by a moan.

Jumin smirks. “More perfect than Elizabeth the 3rd… just don’t tell her I said that.” He smirks as he leads his kisses up to your ear, nibbling on the earlobe. You try to let out another giggle, but all he does is increase his speed and the pressure of his hand to once again replace it with a moan.

Finally, his lips moved to yours so sensually, his hands moving around to touch all of you. He loved you. Everything about you. Inside and out.

++++

I accept constructive criticism, just be nice im sensitive and it’s birthday you legally HAVE to be nice to me today

[miyamoratsumuu]

post may or may not be cringe, but we're rolling with it 🤙🏼

I dreaded having to do this (again) all year long, but guess who's going on a semi-hiatus!!!! hint: me ☝🏻 (I'll call it semi bc I'll prob be lurking around here and there still, lmao)

most of you may know, but I've been super busy with school lately given that I'm graduating this year, sooo I'm predicting it rn I won't be able to write anything for a while 😞

it's not that I don't have free time at all, it's just that everything that's been on my mind lately is shoolschoolschool, and I almost never think of anything else 😭 + I can't find it in myself to have the mental capacity to balance everything I have going on here and aiming to be at the podium once graduation comes around

though I will be posting chapter 6 of push & pull this week, AND maybe a teaser for score his heart?? but idk, we'll see! if I do end up posting both of those, I think that'll be it for a while

I'm so sorry to be letting anyone down, especially those who have been enjoying my ongoing series so far</3 I promise that once I make the time to write in between school and my social life outside of tumblr, I'll be back to writing/posting better than ever!!

I'll just take this opportunity to thank everyone for supporting me and my works this past summer vacation!! I truly believe I wouldn't have been able to survive the summer heat without you all 🤕

thank you all so so much, I hope you understand!! as I mentioned, I'll still be lurking around the app and answering asks/messages if necessary!! I LOVE YOU ALL SOOO MUCH, I'LL BE BACK BETTER THAN EVER, I PROMISE!!<33

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH HEADCANONS?

scu edition. You can tell I was struggling because I kept talking about charlie. Help me.

- charlie does not blame himself for banishment, he feels SUPER bad for Grizzly's death and whole corruption thing, but does not think it's his fault.

- bizly is kinda like nimona y'know? Always shapeshifts

- nobody can tell what charlie is. Is he a slime? Hybrid? Human? Something else? Nobody actually knows.

- no because, 100! Days charlie is the OPPOSITE of Godcicle (despite one being based on the other.)

Godcicle is not a perfect hero, he's childish, arrogant, never takes no as an answer, always thinks he's right,

But none of these things match 100!days, it's like if he's the better version of his god counterpart.

- condi was already a reptile hybrid before he became a god, nobody can't tell if he's a dragon, lizard or something else. His god powers probably messed that up.

- aside from charlie, the rest of council were all mortals who were turned into gods. (I LIKE THE "charlie was a god all along and was just playing around" THING OKAY?? IT MATCHES WITH WHY HE NEVER TALES THINGS SERIOUSLY)

- grizzly is actually the one who can cook. charlie can grow ANYTHING but can't cook for the life of him. mainly because he plays with the food rather than actually cook.

- Condi is like the mom of the group.

- they all listen to charlie because they are convinced he has more experience on the god stuff, but they don't quite realize that his "god stuff" is playing around with mortals.

- charlie breaks the fourth wall a lot.

- charlie calls his followers "subscribers".

- bizly was actually the one who gifted charlie the little slimes on Charlie's shoulder and head.

- and so charlie, gifted bizly beewee.

- grizzly gets constantly called a furry by everyone because he's a dog hybrid.

- charlie has no idea on how to be a normal guy. If he has to disguise as a mortal, he's SHIT at it.

Yes, the others know how to, they used to be mortals, but charlie? Has zero idea.

- charlie played it off as a game, but he really just made his mortals friends gods because he was... lonely and because he was scared of the inevitable death that soon would reach those three.

- grizzly IS a fucking furry. He's a DOG. FUCKIN DOGGY. like he's a small fluffy puppy dude. He just takes the form of a human. (The only shapeshifting he can do, really.)

You know his dog persona? Y'know his little mascot? That little DOG WITH HUMAN HANDS?

that's grizzly.

Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING FUNNY KYLE

- charlie is not human. That's for sure.

- bizly glasses work like queen's glasses in deltarune.

- condi fav is probably charlie lmao

- bizly favorite unironically is grizzly

- you know that video of 100 players going against the gang? I imagine it just being charlie gathering a bunch of followers of his and said out of nowhere one morning "we have 100 people tracking us down!!!" To the others in the council.

- no, no one actually knows (aside from willbur) that each single slime in each single server is a different guy. (Simply because Wilbur has a similar situation)

Like, y'know slimes? How they split? Yeah. They were all part of one big slime, who knows where that is, and they one day split and become a slimecicle!

And some are oddly similar. (For pure coincidence, esmp and 100! Days are similar in design, despite not being really related in lore.)

Also, before anyone gets confused, 100!days is the only one who didn't come from the mother slime, he's an experiment.

The rest, yes.

But also remember that the whole splitting part is not literal(maybe who knows.) it was for you to understand,

They surely come from the same mother slime though!

It's like if they were created from the same thing and put in different parts of the world to interact.

Please it's late please understand bro

- bizly looks up to charlie, surprisingly

- after Grizzly's death and the defeat of the ender dragon, charlie was never seen again. It's like he dissapeared.

condi and bizly have NO clue of where he is.

- IF condi and bizly would ever meet a slimecicle, they wouldn't get any answers, aside from "nope, wrong guy! Nope, wrong slimecicle!"

- grizzly can't sleep with the lights off. He needs at least something on.

- charlie just can't sleep, he's an insomniac.

- we don't talk about condi sleep schedule.

- at least every, or well, most slimecicles gives the uncanny feeling. Look human, isn't human. The more you stare, the less human it looks.

- the slimes in slime story exist! They are all the slimes that can be found in the different biomes and places!

It was thanks to Bizly, creating them after charlie little silly doodles and ideas of random slimes he thought would be cool to have around the world.

It was like a little gift, and charlie reaction made it all worth it.

- the equivalent of going afk is the character stopping everything they are doing and just stare into space and be unresponsive until they come back, charlie is the only guy who says he went afk, though.

- charlie has BAGS under his eyes to the point you think he draws them to be dramatic.

- condi is just, idk I think someone dug under his eyes.

- somehow, despite charlie being an insomniac and quite literally developing a coffee addiction just to stay awake, he is the most energetic (after bizly)

- condi takes naps around.

- bizly is literally the youngest but he has a BEARD.

- grizzly bullying bizly in scu is the equivalent of Charlie's influence on him

- everyone was so mean to Bizly and for what. Now look at him he flinches whenever someone shouts.

- fallen and charlie have so much beef with each other that it's ridiculous at this point. They probably make out afterwards but fuck do I know they sound stupid (don't take this part seriously)

- Jschlatt is evil because he feels like it. He doesn't have a reason like fallen, he just wants to be evil because he woke up angry on a Monday.

Also he's a demon. Not a god.

- apparently it's canon (from what my 2am brain understood that night when I watched 100!days) that parallel universes exist in scu so GUESS WHAT MESS I CAN DO WITH IT WITH MY "THE SLIMECICLES" HEADCANON?

- each server is a different place. Dsmp? Qsmp? Esmp? All different places. All different slimecicles. All aware. All from the same place.

- condi probably does drugs man

- I need to stop talking about CHARLOE BUT I CANT

- charlie definitely has favorites. Bizly isn't one of them.

- NUH HUH JSCHLATT IS HIS FUCKING RAM CUTE PERSONA IN HERE. NO SCARY DUDE. NO. HE'S A FUCKING CUTE LITTLE RAM WITH HIS LITTLE SWEATER ON AND HE ALWAYS HAS TEO CATS HE PETS WHENEVER HE TALKS BECAUSE HE HAS T W O HANDS.

- charlie interacts with mortals so much because he's so fascinated by them. He surely think of them as just a little playmate (aside form a specific little mortals.) But he's so curious and interested in them. They come up with random drama over something so stupid, OVER LAND!

It's the best thing and the stupidest thing charlie has ever seen.

He loves it.

The rest of the council hates it, really. They experienced it, unlike charlie, and they know how awful mortals actually are. They are selfish and ruthless, they are SO glad they don't have to deal with them anymore. They can just ignore them.

- charlie actually gets so happy whenever a mortals donates something in the churches and whatever they make, the rest ignore those things.

- I'LL KEEP SPREADING THE WORD! GENDERFLUID SLIMECICLE. HE ISN'T HUMAN. HE HAS NO CONCEPT OF GENDER. HE'S SLIMECICLE.

- I bet condi just stopped caring about gender, he's just condi. (Not genderfluid, but agender.)

- charlie is extrovert shy. He's all confident but when he actually meets someone knew he gets super shy and quiet.

- bizly is extrovert.

- grizzly is ambivert.

- condi is introvert.

- condi and charlie spend their time together just by being in the same room, or literally "talks nonstop x listens"

- charlie likes doodling. He makes funny doodles. They look like kids drawings but it's just him having fun.

- bizly and charlie are "talks nonstop x also talks nonstop"

- grizzly and charlie are "sunshine x sunshine"

- they were very happy bro. Like. Seriously. Banishment ruined everything bro.

- Condi probably invented medications and all that stuff with his potions

- grizzly is super pissed because he can't eat chocolate

- so fallen now eats chocolate ANGRILY and AGGRESSIVELY but gets stuck in the bathroom for an hour or two later.

- I imagine fallen being that one villain who is actually evil and has good reasons behind them, but no one ever takes him seriously.

- fallen can't bring himself to hate the council. He's just really really mad at them.

- charlie is actually very nice to Bizly whenever they are alone. Whenever no one's watching charlie is a real sweetheart to Bizly.

- condi dosen't like talking much, so he always gets Charles to be his little talking box.

- grizzly is that one guy who uses the most fanciest words just to say he took a massive shit earlier.

- grizzly and bizly are morning people, condi and charlie are NOT.

- charlie is my favorite character therefore he's cursed in being a small self insert of mine along with all the trauma in the world.

- grizzly is a very touchy guy, he enjoys hugging and dragging people around. And he likes chasing sticks.

[freyafrida]

20 Questions for Writers

tagged by @librarylexicon!! ty ty ❤️

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

nineteen

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

154,262

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Anne of Green Gables and Midnighters. i've also dabbled in some other fandoms but haven't written for them in a while, or i feel like i've written all i want to for them, so i don't count them.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Come Back Home, by faaaar (252). following that, How Certain the Journey (160), Arco Iris (144), but i don't know who you are (105), there's another, not a sister (73). all aogg fics!

just for fun, top non-aogg fic by kudos is you're my unforeseen, a kenzi/hale fic from back when i watched lost girl. (also canadian content......sensing a theme here.)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try to! i always really appreciate them and ofc if there's a thoughtful comment i do want to respond in kind. (kind of funny, i think i'm better at replying to comments than i used to be solely bc i have an email job now so i'm always like "ah yes gotta turn around a reply to this in 24-48 business hours.")

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmm...i don't usually end on an angsty note! i like to leave things hopeful or peaceful, at the very least, if not outright happy. i guess it would be leave me the way i was before, which ends on an ambiguous note -- even though the characters come to an understanding and no longer hate/blame each other, they know they can't stay together and help each other heal.

(oh yeah i just re-scrolled through my fics and i guess but i don't know who you are is kind of a downer, bc walter realizes he loves una but he's already in the trenches and the ending implies it's too late oops. i was counting it as a happy one since hey, at least he realized it! lmao)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Come Back Home, pretty obviously -- canon ends with walter dead and una forever alone, so having walter live and return her feelings and both of them finding some peace/their place in the world after WWI is pretty happy i think!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

never gotten full-on hate, fortunately! wayyy back in the day on FFN, when i wrote a rarepair or unpopular character, i'd often get 1-2 passive-aggressive comments like "uhhh your writing is ok i guess but i don't think you understand canon because OBVIOUSLY you wouldn't have written this if you did", but those seem less common/acceptable now thankfully.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

occasionally, yeah. i've never written anything super explicit, but there's a...middling amount of detail? lol. i like writing romance and intimacy and vulnerability and simping and i've gotten more comfortable with portraying/exploring those themes via sex scenes.

10. Do you write crossovers?

no, never have -- "characters from X and Y fandoms meet" isn't my cup of tea, although i do like "AU of characters from X fandom in Y fandom's plot/setting", provided, you know, i find the latter interesting haha.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

uhhhh...🫣 not outright stolen, but i did once stumble upon a fic that seemed to have lifted a scene from one of mine. the fic was already abandoned by the time i read it and the author seemed pretty young, so i didn't want to like call them out, but...welp. hopefully they quietly learned their lesson. also yeah pretty much all my fic has been scraped and reposted to random knockoff sites.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah!! my rebelde way fic, Comfort Zones, was very kindly translated into russian by Alice_Bolognini.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope! i don't think i ever will; seemingly like a lot of my mutuals, i am kind of a control freak over my fics lol. i also am a super-slow writer so i imagine a co-writer would get really fed up with me after a while!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

i...guess walter/una? haha that's really hard to pick, i love romance and have a ton of fave ships and i like them all in their own special ways! but walter/una has had me in a chokehold for almost the longest* and i think maybe has the most ~scope for imagination~ for me -- i still get ideas for what i want to write for them and bits of their characters that i think are interesting and how it would affect the dynamic between them. (tangent, i think the fact that anne's kids have several gaps in the narration of their lives is what makes me so interested in them, versus anne herself? like i never feel the need to write anne/gilbert fic, and i very rarely get the urge to read it, because their canon story is so complete and perfect to me. anyway.)

*honestly, in terms of pure "years i have spent thinking about them" numbers, it would probably be...david/shay from uglies. or james/sarah from liberty's kids lmao lmao /o\

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

no such thing, i am determined to finish everything i post! (see also: coming back to How Certain the Journey after 9 years). the WIP that will probably take me the longest is the clocks are black, a Midnighters fix-it fic that i ran out of steam for a few years ago. i still tinker with it and plan to finish it, but it's unfortunately slow coming.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think characterization and language (word choice, sentence flow) in general -- at least, those are the things people point out the most, so i'm rolling with it! the latter is probably what i pay attention to most while writing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i am not great at writing action scenes for sure. also i'm not great at coming up with zingers, so writing witty/snappy dialogue is rough for me (not that i write very many snappy characters...i probably am subconsciously avoiding them for this reason lmao).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

full on lines of dialogue, no -- it feels unnecessary; at that point i'd rather write it in english and indicate elsewhere in the text that they're speaking another language (or write "so-and-so said something in [language]", if the POV character wouldn't understand it.) i don't mind using an occasional word/phrase when necessary, though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

a series of unfortunate events! in the dark depths of fanfiction.net, under a different username, you can find a ton of my klaus/isadora fics with evanescence lyrics for titles. good times.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Come Back Home is the fic i'm proudest of. it's the fullest and most complete thing i've ever written, in terms of being the longest and having the most plot (not that it has a lot, still) and actually being completed. that does make it my favorite in some ways -- it's still the only longfic i've ever finished and i'm still just like. eternally pleased that i managed to write all my wish-fulfilly walter/una thoughts into something coherent and give myself something to reread when i want to ignore canon. buuut it's also 11(!!!) years old and there are parts i think i could write better now (although i wouldn't touch it either, too many war flashbacks to authors taking down completed fic to rewrite it, and then never completing the new version ;_;)

my actual favorite fic at the moment is the more that you say, the less i know, which is a david/shay fic i wrote a few years ago! i just always had a lot of feelings about shay's story arc in uglies and how she was treated by the narration/other characters, and i feel pretty happy with how it was all distilled and portrayed in the fic. it's also recent enough that i'm not embarrassed by the writing yet. also i wanted to keep it fairly concise and not write 20+ chapters for it, so i'm happy i managed to keep it to 4 haha. it still took me a whole year to edit chapter 3 tho

tagging @jomiddlemarch @gogandmagog @noneedtoamputate! ofc feel free to not do it, and anyone else who wants to do it can consider themselves tagged :D

[marimbles]

I know this is super random and like a year late, but as the consummate marichat fan, what were your thoughts on Elation?

first of all, apparently there are two definitions of the word “consummate” and until now i only knew the first one. HDNSND

second, i have many thoughts about elation but they are honestly kind of mixed and jumbled!!! On one hand, WHAT AN EPISODE!!!!! it still feels like a fever dream lmao. marichat fell in love and went on a cute little date and he took her up way in the sky with his baton carrying her princess style and then they tango’d over to andre’s and wanted to get Love ice cream and then they had the CUTEST KISS EVER!!!!! nose kiss cheek kiss lip kiss combo are you kidding. Are you KIDDING me. then he was trying to be respectful and not take advantage??? 😭 and she got AKUMATIZED bc she wanted to keep kissing him so bad??? HDJDJD and then the angsty second kiss to break her free omfggggggg people died (im people). the little moment at the end too when they agree to go their separate ways but hug like good friends who are in love. Waaaaa my heart. It was all really really good. I loved it. When I first watched it I kept having to pause and pace around like a madman fhsndn

On the other hand, it was so different from my personal vision of marichat that I wasn’t totally sure how to feel! The essence Marichat to me has always been a friends-to-lovers slowburn, so “sin ship” stuff or fics where they very quickly fall into a relationship against their better judgment have never been my cup of tea. And this episode felt like sort of a tamer, canon-appropriate version of that? It came on so fast and was over just as quickly. marichat ended up being just a one-night fling, basically. which is fine because I i always figured it wouldn’t play a big role in the plot—we got wayyyy more marichat than I ever expected to get! So I’m grateful! I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth haha. But at the same time I couldn’t help but feel sort of disappointed in how it all played out. because while I’ve always been rooting for reverse crush development, I never truly wanted a “love square flip” in the sense of them completely switching love interests from ladrien to marichat. That idea never felt super authentic to the characters to me. I feel like OG crush is so baked in to the love square, you know? This probably sounds rich coming from such a loud annoying marichat stan lmao but I always think of them as still being partly in love with OG crush underneath it all, even if marichat are together.

Anyway, i guess I just had a hard time processing it at all because I had a very specific vision/preference for how I wanted the love square to play out—which was basically, reverse crush develops simultaneously with OG crush and they have to figure out how to deal with being in love with two people at once, and then at the reveal they get the relief of knowing it was always the same person all along, and of course they fell for them twice. Idk to me that would be the most satisfying culmination of the love square—one of the most interesting romantic plot elements I’ve ever seen! And that’s not how the show writers decided to go. Which is OK. We got so much good love square and there will be more to come. I really have been trying to let go of what was always just my personal preference for the LS. But at the time I couldn’t help but feel it was sort of wasting a lot of potential by going in this direction. And that did kind of sour my experience watching elation. marichat was set up and discarded so quickly, as if to both satisfy the fans and also shut them up lol. like “here, you got your marichat, you animals. and now that door is permanently closed bc we just proved how it would never work.” Hahaha. And tbh maybe that was a necessity! Like the closure of that possibility.

All in all elation was an amazing episode. It just made me sort of sad at the end, watching marichat die within minutes of becoming canon. also at the time there were a bunch of marichat stans being kind of obnoxious and salting on ladrien which also dampened the mood a lot for me. So I felt weirdly sad for a while after watching it, even tho it was such an exciting ride that I’d been looking forward to. I guess I just keep thinking “yes this is what I wanted!! …except not like this tbh”

lol I’m so entitled Im sorry….we ate SO good. Elation will always be iconic. Weredad is still my all-time favorite episode though! :)

[fereldanwench]

Questions for Writers

I was tagged by @corpocyborg! Thank you, bb!! ♡

Last book I read: I still haven't finished There's No Such Thing as an Easy Job Kikuko Tsumura I started back in January, lmao. Not for any reason other than I just haven't been in the right headspace to sit down and read for the past few months--What I have read of it is great, so hopefully, I can make the time to pick it up again.

Greatest literary inspirations: I like the female protags in Karin Slaughter novels, and I love Tanya Huff's Torin Kerr from her Confederation series--I'm sure they've inspired me on some level. Oh, and Phedre from Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel books, too, although it's been ages since I read those. But I think most of my inspiration actually comes from other forms of media. I love the action babes of the late 90s/early 00s: Lara Croft is the number one inspo here, and pretty much all of Michael Turner's comic girls but especially Sara from Witchblade. And I think Better Call Saul is easily one of the best-written shows ever made--That's one I always go back to when I feel like I need to refill the inspo well.

Things in my current fandoms I want to read but I don't want to write: I have a confession: I usually only read a ton of fic when I first get into a fandom and I can't get enough and I just want to soak it all up, but after a certain point, I just don't have a lot of headspace for other people's stories. 😬 I feel bad about it sometimes, and it's not like I never read anything after that point, but 90% of the time, what I wanna write is what I wanna read. It's kind of a closed loop, I guess.

Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: Well, I'm not at all deterred by being the only person interested in something I write, haha. One of my favorite one-shots I've ever written is between my Cousland and Hawke meeting briefly at Ostagar, and it's probably my least popular fic on AO3 by a big margin. But I do like deep-diving into my own OCs, and it generally is harder to get an audience for fic that doesn't have canon characters. Ain't gonna stop me, though!

You can recognize my writing by: Lots of pining and banter; obvious thesaurus abuse

My most controversial take (current fandom): Yeah, no, not gonna be sharing my actual most controversial takes, lmao.

But I do also love the Devil ending! I don't think there's one objectively "best" ending--What's good for one V isn't necessarily good for another--But for my Valerie, it suited her story the best. I love the poetry of her going back to Arasaka after getting fired by them, I love storming Arasaka Tower with Goro, I love the conflict with Johnny, I love making Goro confront how fucked up the Arasakas are, I love the possibilities of Mikoshi--The only way it would have been better for me is if this nixed idea had actually been put into action.

And I wish we could roleplay a V that is actually more "pro"-corpo in the game, especially if we had the corpo lifepath. Sticking it to the man is sexy and all, but I just love delving into characters that align themselves with shitty institutions and exploring different motivations (I personally like cynical pragmatism/self-preservation and delusional idealism) that lead a person there.

Top three favorite tropes: 1) Rivals to friends to lovers 2) Mutual pining 3) Forced proximity

What’s your current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut): Like, 0.5, lmao. I've been rereading and organizing my WIPS, so there's some effort being put in there, but I'm very much in one of my "ummmm, how do I even write fiction?" phases.

Share a random frustration: I have ZERO discipline when it comes to writing. I need to be in a fully feral, totally isolated from distractions place or I just can't get shit done. When I'm in the zone, I'm in the fuckin' zone, but I get like 3 months of that every 5 years, lmao.

Tagging (with no pressure, as always) @ur-friendly-nbhd-cardassian, @dread-red-queen, @vorchagirl, and @aceghosts <333

[cryptidsurveys]

Saturday, December 21st, 2024.

What states have you been to in the past year? I haven't left the state. I haven't even gone more than an hour outside of town. Just trips to the Mountain Park.

Have you ever sleepwalked? I haven't. The thought is actually pretty terrifying, though, especially because there's a flight of stairs basically right outside my bedroom. I know some sleepwalkers can seemingly traverse such obstacles without any issue and even go so far as to drive, but still… Lol, I'd probably tie myself to the bed.

What year was your house built? I think it was built in the 1970s.

Do you feel like you have more in common with men or with women? I'm actually not sure. There are more women in my life and I spend a fair amount of time around them, so that might skew my perception. But it probably depends more on the individual than their gender.

What’s your favorite superhero movie? Not a big fan of superhero movies, so I can't say I have one.

Do you want children? Why/why not? I've never been particularly interested in having children. In the beginning, there was no clear, driving reason behind it. There still isn't, but now, layered on top of that would be mental health issues and the fact that I'm not very independent or established in my own life. I'm still trying to figure out my own existence; it would likely be disastrous to bring a child into the mix.

Do you have any credit card debt? No.

Have you ever been really late for work because you slept past your alarm? No.

Are you good at reading people? Naw. I'm pretty shit at reading people.

Who do you go to for relationship advice? I'm not in a relationship, but I go to my dad, my therapist, and occasionally my mom for work or coworker related advice.

What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Riding around the neighborhood on my bike, hanging out with friends doing whatever, swimming at Rock Canyon, going camping, etc.

What’s the longest you’ve worked without a day off? I think six days would be the longest…? So obviously nothing extreme.

Have you ever been scammed? I don't think so.

Do you know anyone who works in the tech industry in Silicon Valley? I don't.

Do you wear eyeliner? No.

Did you ever take a personal finance class in school? No. As far as I can recall, at least in high school, no such class was ever offered.

How’s your mental health? Are you feeling well? My mental health is okay…I say even though I still have occasional thoughts of suicide…or hope that whatever physical symptom I'm experiencing means I'm going to die. Lmao. But it's all relative. I'm so much more functional than I was in the past. I'm no longer so self-destructive. I have hobbies and passions and at least a shred of hope for my future. Physically, though…I know you didn't ask for this, but things have been kinda weird lately. I started having some gastrointestinal issues in late November / early December and I feel like I'm on a roller coaster that gets better for a bit only to decline again. Yesterday, I had some pain near the bottom of / slightly below the middle of my ribcage that lasted all day and was practically debilitating by the time I got home from the animal shelter. I basically took a shower and went straight to bed. Didn't feel like a typical stomachache, bloat, constipation, or acid reflux. Looked up a handy-dandy anatomical buddy and it encompassed the area involving my liver, stomach, pancreas, and possibly transverse colon. And idk why I'm telling y'all this when I should be telling a doctor, but--

Did you have a Xanga page back in the pre-Myspace days? I'm actually not sure which one came first for me.

Around what year did you start using the internet, anyways? I think I would have been in 4th or 5th grade, so maybe sometime around 1998-1999.

Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? I guess…? But as far as most of them go, even if they aren't super common, people are at least familiar with them even if they don't engage in such activities themselves.

What’s something that would make you incredibly happy right now? It would make me incredibly happy as well as incredibly nervous because I wouldn't want to mess it up, but getting a job at the animal shelter. Cattery is packed with staff so I doubt they're looking to hire anyone at the moment, but hopefully the next time there's an opening. Oh, and snow for Christmas, but I don't think that's gonna happen. :'(

What did you do for your 18th birthday? I don't remember anything about my 18th birthday.

What temperature do you keep your thermostat set at in the winter? It varies.

Have you ever been to the Caribbean? No.

Have you ever fostered an animal? No.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? A bowl of cereal and a few saltines with peanut butter. I can't trust my usual oatmeal bowl. I can't trust a lot of my routine foods these days.

What’s your favorite form of exercise? Hiking.

Have you ever drank so much that you passed out? No.

[spottedshaded]

this is stupid

punch out wii characters with honkai star rail kits (as someone who doesn’t read the lore, sorry)

target audience: me and me only (probably)

important notes before I start:

1. I am well aware that elements in hsr are different from Genshin in that hsr elements are entirely dependent on the character’s actual weapon of choice than their personalities or whatever. hell, the boxer character in hsr is physical bc, well, he’s a boxer despite the fact that his prosthetic can like literally shoot fire or smth. the problem is, if I made every single one of these characters physical, this list would be really boring. sorry luka, but the other boxers get to have different elements than you because I said so

2. this is very self indulgent and I don’t read the lore so I guarantee there are some inconsistencies or better choices that I didn’t know about. it’s also like super late at night rn and I am so goddamn tired

joe biden: wind, preservation (shielder). shield scales off atk, can be used as a follow-up attack sub dps + sustainer hybrid similar to aventurine or lingsha, but somewhat worse. I chose for him to be the tank because preservation units in hsr often taunt or attract enemies to hit them more which I think would be really funny seeing as how he’s the human punching bag in all the games he’s in

king von: physical, erudition (dps). best stat to build is crit. I chose physical to match his military/machinery motif. basically argenti’s kit where he kinda sucks without a horde of enemies at once or without the ultimate but hits like a truck when those conditions are satisfied. high ult energy cost as a result. AAAATTACKEE

disco kid: electric, harmony (support). he just wants to dance

hungry hungry hippos: physical, abundance. physical because he’s just brute force and abundance because FOOD 😋 I would have done the hunt because hunt units are usually the most fragile dps (correct me if I’m wrong) and hippo never gets up after just one ko so technically he’s the most “fragile” opponent in the game in that sense, but he’s too slow to be hunt, which often depends on speed to squeeze in extra turns

shat in nissan: wind, the hunt (dps). scales off speed, but no follow up attacks. basically seele’s kit (MY TURN! MY TURN! MY TURN AGAIN!!!) but with actually good damage multipliers. not much to say here

blame canada: fire, remembrance (dps). the remembrance path hasn’t been officially released yet so everything here is even more speculative than before. fire because he has fiery passion in his heart ig (also to parallel topaz, the hsr resident animal lover). remembrance seems to be focusing on summons and servants, so I figured the squirrel could be his summon

good tiger: quantum, remembrance (dps). again, since remembrance is about summons, his clones could be the summon? quantum because that’s the element of entropy in lore, and I think his clone projections are pretty chaotic

sancho panza: fire, destruction (dps). this was the guy that made me come up with the rest of this because I saw his fighting strategy and I thought “this is literally just yunli’s kit from hsr” lmao. just like yunli, taunts the enemy to attack him and then launches a counter follow up attack with juicy damage multipliers

potatofamine mccarbomb: quantum, destruction (dps). instead of yunli, this guy’s more like her uncle (blade) in which his damage scales off of hp lost in battle. again, quantum being the element of entropy -> chaos -> “why not bring a fucking flail into a world-class boxing match?”

kidney stoninski: ice, abundance (healer). I had a hard time choosing between the hunt or abundance because the hunt is known for being fast (like his td fight) but abundance is associated with his more infamous healing ability. take a wild guess as to why he’s ice

bold ball: fire, the hunt (dps). had a hard time choosing with this one. chose the hunt for his speed (td) and signature move.

normal macho man: electric, erudition (dps). erudition seems very ironic for this guy but that makes it all the funnier. I chose erudition for his clotheslines because erudition is more focused on wide range attacks which I think the clotheslines sufficiently embody. electric because CALIFORNIA

man me a sand: imaginary, the hunt (dps). hunt is self-evident. imaginary is because that’s the element of order and also because Philadelphia doesn’t exist the sandman is an imaginary being (ba dum tsssss)

[cassynite]

thoughts on rogue trader companions so far (got to the end of act 1 last night in yet another ill advised late night gaming session):

--

Abelard: I, the player, have such a soft spot for old men who take on mentor-like positions to my pc (blame it on being raised my grandfather ig).

But Wren actually finds Abelard pretty stifling at first and is furious when she finds out he'd been keeping an uprising from her and trying to take care of it on his own, because she's an awful micromanaging boss who's got to do shit herself and thinks everyone who does things without her direct knowledge are going to either fuck up or betray her about it. They're getting along a little better since then and she does ask for his opinion on things, even if she rarely follows it lol.

--

Idira: Wren warmed up to Idira pretty quickly, considering she introduced herself by revealing she knows about Wren's past and her deepest hurts (I know that the actual dialogue is referencing the torture hook in her background but I'm interpreting it as Idira knowing about what happened between Wren and her sister).

But after Wren made a very open "you tell anyone about that and I make sure you get spaced" threat, she starts to rely on Idira's divination skills to help her navigate tough situations. She's not threatened by psykers or Idira's powers otherwise, and senses that she's relatively open and isn't trying to pull the wool over her eyes because of how tenuous a grasp on her own powers she has--ironically, by being on the verge of madness, Wren trusts her to tell her what she's actually hearing.

--

Argenta: Wren tends to view people who are overly dedicated to the Imperium with distrust and disdain; she grew up kind of on the fringes of society to begin with and spent the majority of her adulthood as a crime lord with a dim view of the Imperium, since she spent a lot of her time either in direct opposition to those people or manipulating their systems to get what she wanted. Because of this she's written off Argenta as a space-Bible-thumper and ignores her views. She's the first person who gets kicked off the team once they get a full roster.

--

Pasqual: She has slightly more respect for the knowledge-pursuing Adeptus Mechanicus than Argenta's Adepta Sororitus, but any limited respect for Pasqual turns to pretty severe distrust when she finds out he sold out his mentor to the Imperium. Wren's super clannish in her thought processes, and doesn't believe in a greater good; Her People are all that matter to her, and people who backstab, no matter the reason, are to be viewed with distrust at best and as the enemy at worst.

The only thing keeping Pasqual marginally in her good graces at this point is his relationship with Abel, which Wren has already projected her childhood relationship with her sister onto. She's not telling him shit about what she does with her business unless absolutely necessary though and has probably created contingency plans to space him if he tries to pull the same shit on her.

--

Heinrix: Lol. Lmao. Hi Inquisitor guy, yes of course I'm a loyal servant of the emperor, nothing to see here<-former crime lord who would have scattered at the word inquisitor a month ago

Wren was absolutely hoping never to actually come across this guy she was supposed to play courier for, like "Oh gee I guess we never found him, shame," so running into him while trying to clear up the mess on Rykard minoris was a bit of a disappointment, but she's decided that she can play good Rogue Trader while he's around. At this point he's brand new, she's sussed he's kind of into her, so she's playing into that and making herself seem friendly ("you seem lonely, if you want someone to talk to I'm not the greatest conversationalist but I am a great listener"). She's sure she'll be totally fine dumping him when needed and will not get attached, even though she's said this about the last like three people she's integrated into her crew and it's never played out well for her yet.

--

Cassia: Sweet child. Wren absolutely thinks that Cassia would not survive a day on her own, extremely powerful navigator or no, and is kind of condescending to her because of that. She was the quickest and easiest person for Wren to trust and consider one of "her" people on the new ship and she plans on doing what she can to secure a permanent position for Cassia as her navigator. Wren's got a real soft spot for her and takes her everywhere. (Also I, the player, stan Cassia like no one business and wouldn't dream of keeping her out of my party. Lidless stare is too OP.)

[oshikiri-toru]

Tag game for fic writers

Thanks @sergeantwoods for the tag <33

1.) How many works?

On my current AO3 it's 22 (+1 anonymous post) if we're counting old old fics probably ~30

2.) Total word count?

Currently 294,024 😩 and that's not counting the 10k in wips I have rn. Idek how that's possible it hasn't been a year yet

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Right now (and probably for a long long while) it's just COD. Specifically MW reboot, but I've thought about dabbling in black ops or wwii

4.) Top 5 fics by kudos?

- You've Got My Body, Flesh, and Bone

- Close Friends Only

- High Tide

- Red String of Fate is Tangling

- It's Better When It Feels Wrong

5.) Do you respond to comments?

Mostly no. I'm too paranoid and anxious most of the time 😰. I try to answer questions or respond to people who inspired/are inspired by my work but regular compliments are scary (love getting them tho)

6.) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm not a fan of mcd or no comfort for Ghoap, so nothing that sad. I guess "Solar Eclipse". Sort of bittersweet with how much therapy they're going to need after that (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

7.) Fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh God, there's a lot. If I had to choose?? Maybe "Forever Ain't Half the Time (I Want to Spend With You)" that's just some good old fluff all the way through!

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten unsolicited constructive criticism, passive aggressive comments, and that one guest with the racist username, but nothing explicit towards me.

9.) Do you write smut?

Plenty of pwp. They're usually my quick palate cleansers between plot-driven stories since they are a bit easier for me to write.

10.) Craziest crossover?

No real crossovers, but I have a Fire Emblem AU going if that counts ┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠｀⁠)⁠┌

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, thankfully.

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

No :( that would be so cool, though.

13.) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but that sounds so fun :(

14.) All time favorite ship?

I don't know what Activision put in Ghoap?? But they are like crack cocaine for me. Genuinely never been this obsessed with a ship. Only thing sorta close was Ranpoe from bsd

15.) What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I mean, my baseball AU isn't much more than some disconnected ideas, but I don't think I'll ever get to write it. I'm so not good with super long fics, my fe AU is already stressing me out

16.) What are your writing strengths?

Um, I've been told my dialogue and characterization is really good. My favorite compliment is always how I make the characters seem real :D personally, I put a lot of focus into pacing so I hope that's good LMAO

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not that great with flowery language :( I always love seeing how some writers can create beautiful prose, amazing imagery, and outstanding figurative language, but my writing always feels somewhat straightforward in comparison :/

18.) Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don't hate it, but I don't try to include it too much. Singular words here or there that can be inferred without translation (nicknames/terms of endearment/curses) are all I'll usually do. I feel like having long strips of another language that someone needs to translate to understand breaks up the flow and pacing too much for my tastes. Usually, I just mention it's in another language. (Also don't want to embarrass myself in front of native speakers lol, that's why I don't do accents either)

19.) First fandom you wrote in?

Oh God please don't ask that... I think it was Creepypasta or Black Butler back in elementary school ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ

20.) Favorite fic you've written?

100% without a doubt 'I'm Your Home, You're My Home' I don't know what was in the water when I wrote it, but I don't know if I'll ever one-up it.

My favorite smut was definitely 'Late Night Ride Home' lmao. Perfectly catered to me 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ yessir

This was soo fun <33 thank you again Sarge!! :D I loved reading your responses!

I have no clue who to tag. Any of my fic writing mutuals that see this, feel free to hop on and tag me :) these are so fun to read

[infuschia]

idk

hi guys i am so sorry for totally ghosting :/ i know that's the worst feeling with a fic you love and i'm so so sorry. i'm gonna be so straight up, i have had a WILD life from even before i started this fic up until right now - and although things are finally starting to take shape and calm down to say the least, i lost a lot of myself during that time. i grew in many ways as well, but i think there's just been a lot that happened to me over the past year or so that held me back from goals i have or the type of person i wanna become or whatever, and without going into detail, i cannot lie alot of it has been really really hard. i definitely used writing as an escape/coping mechanism of some sort for the negative feelings i was experiencing - and that can be super helpful for real plus i've BEEN in therapy lol, but i also still found myself retreating away from parts of my life that would have been good for me and my growth to pursue, and i can't be doing that anymore. as much as i fell in love with writing all this for you guys, it ended up taking up a lot of space in my mind as more of a distraction from my own setbacks and issues instead of being something wholly good for me, if that makes sense. unfortunately - THE MOST PAINFUL MIC DROP iamsosososorry - that distraction has had to end. some lowkey rock bottom moments forced me to take a better look at my life for what it really is AND for what i want it to be, and at this time i do need to step back from the false life i created in this story and step back into my real one. not that i was like living in my bedroom on my laptop or nothin LMAO i'm just sayin there have been some things i know now i can't continue with in the same way that i did before, in terms of what i spend my time and energy on. i can't say for sure that i'll never be back but i don't wanna be making any promises i can't keep. I LOVE AND APPRECIATE ALL OF THE LOVE SO MUCH OVER THE YEAR I SPENT WORKING ON THIS FOR YOU ALL i NEVER EXPECTED like anyone to read it so just every split second you even spent CONSIDERING this fic was just music to my soul and i again can't begin to describe how wonderful it's been hearing from you all and knowing that at least in some small way i was able to add a bit of joy to your lives. it's not goodbye, it's see you down the road - LMAO IGNORE MY MELODRAMATIC ASS SO SILLY but fr. over the summer i fell in and out of love and back again (MAYBE I SHOULD NOT SAY LOVE LMAO maybe lust and some feels LOLOL BUT MAN IDEK AIFSHJABJHD) with an old potential guy of sorts (have talked on and off for the last three years bruh hometown crush), and after all this time of never actually being upfront about what we thought of each other we were FINALLY honest with each other about how we felt on things, just before having to go back to school in different parts of the country - with a hope to see each other again down the road #romantic? #idek. i hope it works out with him, maybe my romantic ass is just bein delusional asf but i also just have that feeling that we'll find each other again when the time is right. and maybe just maybe i'll be back at this when the time is right - but all i know for sure is that, just like with this man-whos-not-my-man-but-may-just-be-one-day, right now i gotta focus on loving myself above all. THIS IS CRAZY SO MUCH WRITING I KNOW but i know how it feels to have a fic you like just drop off the earth so i guess better something than nothing, better late than never. SO so so much love forever and always. you guys all have my heart no matter who you are, where you are, or whenever you're reading this. LOVE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH YOURE AMAZING AND KEEP ON BEING YOU CUZ THATS INCREDIBLE ON ITS OWN <3 <3 <3 see you down the road my friends xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[sga-owns-my-soul]

Getting To Know You Tag

i was tagged by @spurious !! thanks!!

Relationship status: lmao single but also technically it's complicated 😂 i guess the most accurate description is a queer platonic relationship? except he's not actually queer so 😅 (at least he doesn't identify as queer) we live together and are spending our lives together so take from that what you will 🤷‍♀️😂

Favourite colour: it's a tie between blue and pink!! deep blues or teals specifically, and any shade of pink bc pink is the Superior Colour and everyone and everything looks good in it

Favourite food: oh man i have no clue 😭 it really depends on my mood, carbs of any sort tho usually!

Song stuck in my head: skip the step by brain falduto (wow shocker it's brain falduto 😂) i've been playing it so much recently bc it gives me strong mcshep vibes

Last thing you Googled: christopher judge (don't even remember why but he's great so valid)

Time: 1925 (7:25pm)

Dream trip: ireland 😍😍😍😍 or new zealand, but i wanna move to new zealand so i'm not really counting that as a trip. but god i wanna go to ireland SO badly

Last thing you read: i'm currently rereading O I Think We Should Be Brethren (Live Oak #4) because it's one of my favourite fics and @spurious did an AMAZING job of writing john in it im obsessed

Last book you enjoyed: the last actual physical book i read and enjoyed was probably the ballad of songbirds and snakes by suzanne collins, the prequel to the hunger games trilogy. absolutely incredible 10/10 i loved it

Favourite thing to cook/bake: i hate cooking and baking 😅 i guess a crock pot stew cause i can dump everything in a pot, turn it on low for 8 hours and call it a day 😂

Favourite craft to do in your free time: does writing count as a craft? if it does then writing 😂 if not uhhhh idk i spend most of my free time reading or writing lately

Most niche dislike: this is a good question! corporate pet retail i think honesty. i've been working in the pet industry over 5 years and it's actually super disgusting how common neglect and abuse is. fuck petsmart and petland and any other retail store that sells live animals! adopt don't shop!!!

Opinion on circuses: i've never gone to one but i'm against most things that involve animal captivity so i'm gonna say a vague negative opinion

Do you have any sense of direction: no i have a terrible sense of direction 😂😂 it's better than when i was a kid but still shit

no pressure tags: @the-mushroom-faerie @books-space-things @frostysfrenzy @chaniis-atlantis @hero-in-waiting @stinalotte and anyone else who wants to!!