#it's such its own thing. my advice to anyone actually new is to watch a clip or two of gameplay and decide based on that

[57sfinest]

Explain disco elysium to someone whos never played disco elysium

if you have played this game you will know what an impossible question this is to answer. but i can try

you're an amnesiac detective with the dual tasks of solving a murder and solving the mystery of who you are, why you're here, why *here* is *like this* and why *you* are *like this*, and whether the answers to any of those questions are related. it's a dialogue heavy tabletop-inspired open narrative rpg with a lot of chance elements and a lot of freedom in choice. you can build your character to be a cocktail of many different traits based on your decisions so your interactions with the world are very meaningful and will shape how you move forward. the setting is best described as magical realism; there are a lot of things parallel to our own world, as well as some supernatural/magical elements that are worked into the narrative in such a way that they hardly even seem like magic. it's a well-built world that feels very real, which is important because the setting has such a profound impact on the characters and story.

as for the meaning of the game, the takeaways are so deeply personal and also dependent on how you go through it. politically it calls out the sheer ridiculousness of fascism, the cruelty of centrism and the evil of capitalism, while also addressing the failings of contemporary communist circles- most notably its favoring of intellectual debate rather than direct action. it addresses the fallibility of human beings in all their aspects: how relationships fall apart, how even the best intentions lead to terrible consequences, how sometimes trying your best just isn't enough. it also addresses the beauty of humanity, of how people make beautiful things out of the ugliest parts of life, of how there will always be one more chance to try again, somewhere. it's about death and how to live in spite of it. it's about the stubbornness of life and how to die, regardless. it's about futility, and the inherent hope in hopelessness: if nothing you do matters, focus on the *why not* instead of the *why bother*. it's about making joy where you can find it and embracing pain where it comes to you. it's about unfairness and inequity and the apathy of circumstance, and knowing that it will never ever change, and knowing that regardless, you have to try. it's about fighting back and giving up. it's about being presented infinite choices in a singularity. it's so incredibly meaningful and everyone is going to get something different from it that reflects what they listened to most. it's genuinely a work of art.

it's also a dress up game.

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen act with their writer s/o

requested by anon ^^

masterlist

seungcheol

he is begging. he is on his knees BEGGING you to pls let him buy you a new laptop because the one you use is literally on its last legs and makes ominous sputtering n whirring sounds like a dying cat stuck in a vent every time you start it up. you don't let him tho bc “no cheol the memories :(((“ cuz you've had it for years but he is nearing the end of his tether and who knows. in a few days ur laptop may mysteriously disappear forever and you'll be forced to let him buy a new one

jeonghan

he's like the pet cat you don't own who likes to slink into the room and make inquisitive noises as he watches you work. drapes himself over your shoulders and makes distressed huffs when you try to dislodge him. he's never usually noticeably clingy, but when you try to write, the clinginess always springs out and you can't go five minutes without jeonghan poking his head into the room to check up on you and see what you're up to

joshua

your biggest fan. buys every single novel you write, puts on his glasses, and reads them very seriously in one go on the very evening it's released with the lamp on beside him. he looks so serious every time, but he'll always peer at you over his glasses and then give you a big grin, telling you how much he loves it. gets you to sign a copy for him and brags to everyone he knows that he has your signed novels with special messages just for him that no one else can have

junhui

he's your personal general knowledge bank. when you're searching up obscure things and slowly losing hope on finding an answer, just ask junhui and he'll either a) know the answer or b) knows someone who knows someone else who knows someone else else who knows the answer. don't ask him how to spell words tho bc he's like. hopelessly bad. blinks at you going “what's an [insert word]” before you give up and google it yourself

hoshi

alwaysssss wants to know what you're working on right now. gets all whiny when you get possessive of your work and refuse to show him before it's finished bc come on, it's surely perfect already, why are you trying to hide it from him?? loves helping you do, like, the non writing stuff. writing out plot? nooo. building fantasy maps, figuring out political systems, getting lost on a tangent on figuring out the price of beans in the 1800s? hell yeah sign him up!!! 

wonwoo

knows all the grammar rules in the world. you can ask him stuff like “hey wonwoo can i put a comma here or no” and he'll amble over to peer over your shoulder and tell you whether you can or cannot, in fact, put a comma there. helps you curate all your writing playlists for the different moods you have. gently reminds you to get back to writing whenever you end up scrolling on instagram for too long

woozi

you're even more of a workaholic than he is when in the zone, so he gets to realise how unhealthy it is to be sat in front of a computer for hours straight with no break. you get to act as each other's “let's act like a normal human being now” reminders, depending on which of you is going through a work fixation. you guys both go on runs together in the mornings even though it kills you bc at least it gets both of yo brains kickstarted to spend a day being all creative in ur respective fields

minghao

you value his opinion above anyone else's. above your beta reader's, above your agent's, even above your editor's bc those are more like advice, not opinions. but knowing that minghao likes your work, and knowing which parts in particular he really likes, is so important to you because ultimately, you want the person you love to also love the things that you create. 

mingyu

brings up the fact that you're a writer in every conversation he has with anyone ever. “oh my god look, this menu has writing on it. speaking of writing, my s/o writes actual books as a job!!!!”. your agent made him sign a contract similar to an NDA bc he just keeps yapping about your books even when they haven't been released yet. loves the noises you make whilst you're writing. thinks it's the cutest thing ever when you make overjoyed “AHA!!” sounds when you finally realise what the plot is doing

dokyeom

more than willing to be your rubber duck and let you talk at him until u figure out your own plot holes. he could be in his room scrolling on his phone but the minute you call for him, he's leaping up and bounding over to you and pulling up a chair in an instant, more than willing to let you bounce ideas off him. sits there doing nothing but looking all pretty as you talk at him and work out the tangle you've gotten yourself into. beams and gives you a big kiss when you manage to figure it all out. 

seungkwan

he buys you a biiiig wheely whiteboard and a bunch of coloured board pens to help you plot your novels. when you get stuck, he comes over and stares at the board with his hands on his hips, very gravely considering your dilemma and what would be the best way to get you out of it. you two talk about plot holes like it's the most serious thing in the world and he just nods like a proud father once you both find a solution

vernon

at this point he's like. a professional tea and coffee and biscuits supplier due to the amount of snack runs he does for you. has walked in on you lying face down on the floor during a meltdown one too many times to bat an eye anymore. also great at helping you block out actions during scenes like. he's the perfect doll. lets you maneuver him into the weirdest positions in the world with zero complaints. he just loves helping you however he can, really. 

chan

reads through your drafts whilst you're in the middle of writing, accidentally gets hooked and is begging you every day to finish the novel bc he really wants to know what happens next. he's the best at spotting inconsistencies and plot holes in ur writing so before you even send it off to your beta reader, he gets to have his hands on the manuscript to check for any changes needed. also bc he needs to read the ending asap otherwise he'll probably combust. 

request guidelines

reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @kikohao @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun @sea-moon-star @nonononranghaee @isabellah29 @mcu-incorrect @hrts4hanniehae @suraandsugar @pan-de-seungcheol @dokyeomkyeom @melodicrabbit @bananabubble

[lucvly]

— boyfriend headcannons with chris. ⸰ 𖥔 ͙

warnings: tooth rotting fluff and a nsfw part?? not proofread stop its almost 1 am

a/n: i’m trying my best to feed you guys but school is Fucking me upppp :/ sry this is a little short Oopsie

— tries to act tougher in public but when both of you are alone he’s a total sweetheart.

— he loves it when you play with his hair, when you let him lay his head on your chest and won’t ever admit it out loud but loves when you’re the big spoon.

— gets so distracted when you’re around it’s hilarious (+ matt and nick always tease him for it because he looks “ridiculous”) literally has the biggest heart eyes for you, always following you around and drooling over you.

— pda pda pda !! this man loves pda, i’m not elaborating.

— shows you off anywhere and everywhere. literally anyone who’s ever spoken to him knows you because he’s always talking about you.

— his instagram feed are mostly pictures with you in them. he loves posting you.

— adores touching you. not even sexually, but always has an arm around you, hugs you from behind, an arm around your waist, a hand in the back pocket of your jeans, etc.

— don’t ever ask him about it but if you’re a romcom fan he’ll definitely watch them with you. sure, he’ll act like he hates them but actually loves watching them with you. his guilty pleasure fr!

— adores doing domestic stuff with you: grocery shopping, cooking, baking– man, he’d even do laundry with you. which just pisses matt off because the only time chris helps with chores is when you’re around.

— if you mention a certain song or a certain artist he’ll slowly start adding them into his playlist. don’t ask him about it because he’ll actually get Embarrassed but still. ++ he has a playlist of songs that remind him of you.

— spoils you good. you want a new perfume? just say the word. that book you talked about last week? he already bought it for you. new necklace? of course. and it has his initials on it so it’s a win win.

— asks you for fashion advice LMFAOO. you’ll get spammed at like 7 am with something like “black or white?????”

— still flirts with you like you’re in the talking stage it’s sooo funny. tells you the lamest pickup lines but it’s cute because it’s Him !!

— nsfw below!

— a munch. loooves eating you out. he does it for his own pleasure trust. + he gets pussydrunk soo quickly.

— teases you soo much help?? especially in public. you could literally be at an important meeting and he’ll still have his hand on your thigh while whispering dirty ass things in your ear.

— loves it when you drag him lingerie shopping. he’s just there to support you and drool over you tbh. he can’t help but get hard when he sees you in all those pretty sets. (+ always ends up with you fucking in the dressing room).

— this man suffers when he’s on tour. he’s so used to having you take care of him he almost forgot how to jerk off LMFAOOO??

— has a whole album on his phone for his eyes only which include videos he’s taken of you getting fucked senseless, videos of you crying out his name, pictures you’ve sent him and videos.

— loves phone sex HELLOOO?? just hearing your voice gets him rock hard. sometimes you’ll be talking about the stupidest thing ever while on call with him and all you’ll ever hear from the other line are soft grunts, panting and heavy breathing. (+ when you tease him about it he just tells you to keep talking– yeah, you both end up moaning into the phone LMFAOO)

— literally anything gets him turned on. something as simple as you giggling or wearing one of his fresh love hoodies and boom– he’s bricked.

— pet names are a huge yes. this man could be choking you and balls deep in you but he’ll still call you the sweetest pet names ever. (“angel”, “princess”, “baby”, “doll”.)

— teasing gets him so worked up. don’t even try to pull on his hair a little, slightly touch his crotch when he’s hard or bend over in front of him unless you wanna end up pinned against a wall and going for at least three rounds.

[143il0v3you]

Confession

wc: around 2.5k

tw: a few swear words here and there, kissing

pairing: hyunjin x reader (Felix is also mentioned)

note: it's my first fic that I'm posting on here. I wrote this all in one go, edited only twice... so yeah I hope it's good enough for people to read.

You were best friends, you and Hyunjin. Inseparable even. A single day hadn't gone by in four years where either you or him doubted, hated, or ignored each other. You both had almost everything in common. From simple things like your favourite colours, favourite foods, movies, and fashion, to stuff like your deep passion for art.

You've had a fair share of deep talks with him, ranted to each other about your work stress, breakups, literally anything.

Of course, not all the time was your friendship carefree or happy-go-lucky, it did have its own ups and downs. Most were normal bickering like over who gets a share of what, or what movie you want to watch for your weekend movie nights. Some casual disputes happened here and there, about you spending most of your time with a new friend and not with Hyunjin, sometimes it would even be about Hyunjin's nature of being controlling.

Yes, he was a sweet guy, someone anyone could fall for. His good, no, gorgeous looks, his charming personality, his everything has girls swooning over him all the time. You would be lying if you said you didn't think about being together at some point. But, he was also a bit controlling with you. At first, you thought it was all just to get your attention, something just normal between you two. You thought he just wanted to spend more time with you. Over time, you understood that he only wanted to spend time with you. Only wanted you to be with him. That all was fine with you since you wanted the same thing as well. Your friendship was simple. It all seemed perfect.

But oh, did things take a turn when you caught feelings for him.

It started with a small crush. Everything he did would impress you. When he tied his shoulder-length hair back, when he painted, when he used his most cheesy pickup lines from the internet on you, everything.

As time passed, you realised it wasn't just a small crush you harboured for him. You did actually like him.

But how could you like him? He's your best friend. Obviously, he wouldn't see you like that. He wouldn't see you as someone he'd romantically get involved with. Why would he? But could he?

You hated the fact that you liked him. If word reached him, who knows how he could react? What if your friendship gets ruined? That was definitely something you would not want to see happen.

He wasn't in a relationship, and you weren't too. Although, it wasn't like either of you were actually keen on finding someone. You and Hyunjin were happy with the way things were.

Recently, Hyunjin had been bugging you to 'get out there and find someone'. He was randomly trying to set you up with guys, sending you on blind dates, or even people from your own friend group.

You'd made it clear that you didn't want to find someone, but you hadn't made it clear why. There's no way you were planning on telling him soon.

His advice isn't totally bad, though... It could help you get new friends, or a boyfriend, and hopefully could help you get over your feelings for Hyunjin.

That's when you met Felix. Not exactly met, but, more like got to know him. He's in your friend group, you know him well enough. Plus, he was undeniably good-looking.

Felix had texted you, asking if you'd want to go over to his place for a movie night. You were free, and had nothing to do the entire day. That's why you decided, why not go instead of being bored all by yourself the entire day?

And there you were, at his place, all settled on the floor, a wall of snacks surrounding you and Felix, who was sitting right beside you.

"What do you feel like watching?"- He asked, turning towards you, the remote clutched in his palm as he pressed on the button, scrolling through the options on the screen.

"I'm fine with anything."- You shrugged, to which he cocked an eyebrow.

"You're sure? Fine, how about a romantic one, hm?"- Felix suggested, pressing the button once more, the screen showing the preview of 'Titanic' and the title in bold.

"Titanic? Such a clichè."- You chuckled.

"Hey, you said anything. This is anything."

"Okay, fine, let's watch it."

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟

00:06

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: heyy

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: hello??

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: y/n

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: y/n? answer meeee

00:34

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: are you mad at me? 🥺

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: i’m sorry

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: i'm not talking to you ever again.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: Y/NNNN!!!!!! PLEASE TALK TO MEEE!

01:16

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: y/n i'm lonely

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: i miss you

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: why are you ignoring me?

"Aren't you going to answer your texts?"- Felix asks, noticing how you're ignoring the notifications 'dings' coming from your phone.

"No, it's fine."- You shake your head, grabbing your phone and turning 'silent mode' on.

You knew it was Hyunjin. You knew from the way he kept spamming you, you knew from the time gaps he took before sending another bunch of texts, but over that, you knew because it was your weekend movie night.

But here you were, spending the movie night with Felix, instead of Hyunjin.

"Alright, then, if that's what you say."- Felix shrugs, turning back to the screen, completely indulging in the movie.

Not you, though. You hadn't even noticed that the movie wasn't Titanic anymore, you didn't notice that he switched to a different movie halfway into Titanic. You didn't even know what movie you were watching right now. All because you were too preoccupied thinking about Hyunjin.

Hyunjin would have put on a movie you both really wanted to watch. Hyunjin would have fed you snacks. Hyunjin would make this a lot more fun. Hyunjin would pester you until you told him what was truly wrong.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟

01:43

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: y/n is everything okay? are you okay?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: I'm starting to get worried.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: Please answer. Please tell me if there's something wrong.

01:58

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: You're not at home?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: Where are you?

At this point, you couldn't ignore him further. You wanted to, but the guilt was eating you up.

"Felix, give me a moment, okay? I just need to text someone."- You stood up from your spot, a few crumbs of popcorn, chips, and other snacks you don't remember eating falling off your shirt.

"No, it's totally fine. Take your time."- He nods, giving you a warm, toothy smile, that makes his eyes crinkle at the sides.

"Thank you." You smile back, rushing to a corner and turning on your phone.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟

02:02

You: Hyunjin????

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: Wow you answered.

You: Why are you spamming me?

You: You're blowing up my phone.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: That was the point, you know..

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: anyway, where are you?

You: At a friend's place.

Why would you be at someone else's house? Especially at this hour? You didn't even mention to him about a new friend.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: Then why didn't you just answer?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: Wait, who are you with?

You: not this again.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: I'm just asking!

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: Who are you with?

You: I'm at Felix's place.

What? Why would you be with Felix? Out of all people, he didn't expect that 'friend' to be Felix. Why were you with him anyway?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: You're with Felix?

You: Yeah. He invited me.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: to do what, exactly?

You: to watch movies.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: which movie?

You: ......

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: Which movie??

You: Well, we were watching Titanic-

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: titanic...?

You: What's wrong?

What's wrong? Seriously? You're with another guy, watching Titanic? You're with another guy?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: nothing.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: have fun with felix i guess 👍

You: Hyunjin.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: yeah what

You: Are you mad at me?

Obviously he is.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: yeah

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: and jealous.

You: Why are you jealous?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: you’re at felix's house.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: in the middle of the night.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: watching movies.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: and you don't expect me to be jealous???

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: you aren't even answering my texts.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: you're too busy swooning over him, aren't you?

You: hyunjin what the fuck?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: you like him, don't you?

You: You're the one who told me to go meet people and date someone.

You're right. But not Felix! Why HIM?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: not him. you can go date anyone.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: any person, but HIM of all people?

You: he seems nice. he is nice. he's handsome too.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: yeah, yeah, he's cute, funny, sweet, handsome-

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: i know. i know it all.

You: See? You said it yourself.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: but you know who else is handsome, sweet, funny, and all that?

You: who?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: me.

You: what?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: I'm just saying. all of those compliments you just said about Felix, I'm actually better in every way.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: I'm more handsome, I'm cuter, you laugh more at my jokes.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: but noooo, you just had to be with him. you’re too busy with him huh?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: too busy swooning over his charming smile, his cute giggle, the way he looks at you, his fluffy brown hair.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: aren’t you?

You: Why are you acting like this?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: like what? jealous?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: Maybe because, I don't know, I'm madly in love with you and I’m going crazy knowing you're at another guy's house in the middle of the night watching movies.

You: hyunjin, what???

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: did i stutter?

What? Did he actually just confess to you? Over text? He confessed? He loves you? Is this real?

You: You love me?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: ugh you're making me say it again, aren't you?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: I, Hwang Hyunjin, am madly, deeply, insanely in love with you.

You: ....

You: Gosh- I don't know what to say

You: And you have really bad timings.

"Hey, Y/n, you okay over there?"- Felix's voice makes you remember where you are, bringing you back to reality.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine."- You reply back, knowing well you aren't fine. You're overflowing with joy.

"Okay... just tell me if anything's wrong, yeah?"

"Mhm, will do."

With that, you divert your attention back to your phone, noticing more notifications from Hyunjin.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: oh my god.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: how is this a bad timing?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: you're telling me that you're at the guy I'm most jealous about's house in the middle of the night.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: watching a goddamn movie with him.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: How could this get any worse?

You: It won't get any worse.

You: and you don't have to be jealous any more.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: And why the hell not?

You: because I'm on my way to your place.

"Hey, Felix," You walk back to where Felix is. He paused the movie, standing up and walking towards you.

"Yeah? What's wrong?"- He seemed genuinely concerned.

"I- There's an emergency... I really need to go, quick."- You come up with an excuse. You weren't sure if Felix would buy it, but it was worth a try.

"Hey, it's fine, you can go."- He smiles, nodding.

You felt really bad, he seemed so genuine, and actually interested.

"Thank you. I promise I'll make it up to you."- You give him a hug, smiling as he hugs you back. "Don't worry, you don't have to."- He pats your shoulder as you both pull away from the hug.

You wish each other goodnight, and you immediately dash out the door, rushing to Hyunjin's house.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: ...

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: you're what?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: You're serious?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: Are you actually coming over?

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: Why??

You: What "Why??"

You: You just confessed to me. Over text.

You: I'm coming to your place so you can confess to me. To my face. And not over text.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: shit, okay.

Hyunjinnnnn 🥟: I'll be waiting for you, then.

You reach Hyunjin's house, standing in front of the door, panting and out of breath.

"Hyunjin?"- You call out, knocking on the door.

As if he'd been waiting for you forever, Hyunjin jolts out of shock before sprinting to his front door and throwing it open, his breath hitching when he sees you. You smile wide, wrapping your arms around him, Hyunjin chuckled in surprise and immediately pulled you in and wrapped his arms around you, feeling his heart about to burst in his chest as you smiled up at him.

You didn't say anything, and neither did he. Nothing had to be said. You just knew that this was the happiest moment in his life and yours. You didn't mind that you were still standing in his doorway, because all that mattered to you was this moment, you in his arms, knowing he loves you after all those days you spent pining after him.

"You really love me?"- You broke the silence first. Hyunjin smiled and laughed quietly, resting his chin on your head.

"Are you seriously asking that question? After I just confessed to you and you came all the way to my house at two in the early morning?"

"Well, then I have a confession for you too."- You hid your face in the crook of his neck, knowing well your face and cheeks were flushed.

Hyunjin pulled away slightly, wanting to see your face as you confessed to him. He takes a deep breath, trying to control his heart from thumping in his chest in anticipation. "And what is your confession, my love?"- He asks, his arms dropping from your back to your waist.

You cleared your throat, taking a deep breath. You could hear your heartbeat loud and echoing in your ears.

"I love you too."

Hyunjin feels like exploding upon hearing your confession, he chuckles, grinning, as his arms tightened around your waist.

"You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that, Y/n,"- He gently cradles your face in his hands, his palms tenderly cupping your cheeks. "Say it again."

"I love you, Hyunjin."

"I love you too, Y/n."

He slowly leaned in, as he gently rested his forehead against yours. "Do you know how it felt hearing you say you were coming here, after I just told you I was madly in love with you?"

"How did it feel?"- You ask, curiosity brightening your gaze.

"It felt like I was on cloud nine, like I’ve won the jackpot of life. It felt like nothing in the world, could’ve made me happier in that moment than hearing you say you were coming here."- Hyunjin buried his face in your hair, inhaling the sweet scent of your shampoo. He smiles softly and nuzzles his face against your hair.

You want to say something snappy at him, some snarky, sarcastic comment. But you can't. You're filled with a tender, happy feeling, that all you can do is smile.

"Gosh, Hyunjin, you're so cheesy."- It was all you could come up with to say.

Hyunjin laughed as one of his hands moved up to caress your cheek, and his thumb gently brushed your soft skin. "And yet you love me anyway, hm?"

"I do."

"I do too."

With that, he leaned in closer, still cupping your face. Hyunjin gently caressed your cheek, his fingers resting under your chin as his thumb softly ran over your bottom lip.

"Y/n, can I-"

"Do it."

Hyunjin grinned, then tilted your chin up and closed the gap between your lips, kissing you softly and slowly, as his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you against his chest. You kissed him back, bursting with emotion, the unexpected, something that only existed in your imagination, coming true. He loved you after all.

[rhiaarrow]

I'm seeing a large amount of anxiety posting or doomposting here tonight so I'm just gonna take this opportunity to remind everyone here that it's okay to feel that way but if it ever gets too much, it's okay to just walk away.

Even just for a little bit, close the tab and go get a drink of water or just take a minute to yourself.

Don't feel obligated to interact with anything that causes you to feel stressed out.

It's okay to be optimistic about the situation in the same way that it's okay to be more critical. Unfortunately in the grand scheme of things, we don't have all the answers or the knowledge of what's going on behind the scenes, we won't know how things are happening until it's publicly announced.

The dismissal of the update account admins isn't really something that any of us wanted to hear had happened but it's at least a sign that things are actually being done behind the scenes.

Even if it may not seem like much it's at a small piece of proof that the admin funding issues are being addressed. Of course it unfortunately meant that it was revealed that they couldn't afford to keep the updates accounts admins but it's a small modicum of knowledge that they're at least looking into funding admins behind the scenes.

It's still frustrating not knowing what's going on and being left in the dark but ultimately there's nothing we can do except wait for news from an official source.

If I'm being honest stopped really watching as much Qsmp since the admin break, I've watched a couple past vods here and there and obviously I still watch Bad everyday (it's literally a part of my daily routine at this point) but I've not really been marathoning povs like I used to.

The admins were the life of the server and without them it just feels wrong, I was remaining hopeful while I watched Bad play on the server but his statement about reaching his limit today sorta hit.

Because yeah, I've reached a limit too.

I still love Bad and my other cubitos but the server right now just isn't hitting the same. So I'm gonna take my own advice and step back from the content and its fandom for a little bit.

Ultimately there's nothing I can do to help the situation at all and contributing my thoughts on something I have no real knowledge of just isn't really helping anyone.

I'm not getting overwhelmed by the doomposting or anything, I'm just choosing to distance myself for a little bit.

Although I do have qBads backstory to thank for reminding my old Ancient Mythology special interest from years ago which has overpowered my recent Qsmp fixation, so at least my brain has something to do while I take my little Qsmp break for a day or two :)

[heyidkyay]

I guess I’ll take this pain, instead of your name |

Part Fifteen

A/n: Hey:) There's a lot going on in this part, but also a new pov, though it's really short! Couple of surprises in here too... haven't been too active as of late either and I'm not too sure when the next part will be out, just struggling atm but I hope you enjoy fifteen!:)

Summary: In life, things changed. The boys you'd once grown up with were men now, and famous ones at that. The type that toured the world and had millions of adoring fans.

The five of you shared a shit ton of history. But you also shared a lot of mixed emotions for one of them in particular, a certain drummer.

Warnings: Body issues, insecurities, panic attacks, lots of emotions basically... but there's some fluff too, very lovely stuffs:)

Masterlist

--

“You ready?”

My head snapped up at the sound of Lee’s gentle voice. He was stood in the bathroom’s doorway waiting patiently for me, he wore a soothing smile. The unnecessary gesture helped ease my mind somewhat, but I noted that my hand was still trembling even as I moved to stand. 

I nodded at him in a silent reply. 

Even after the assent, it took me an embarrassing amount of time to pull myself up off the hospital bed- I had been getting better and better at it though. In truth, it had taken everything but a forklift to get me up out of it the first time around, since then things had only gotten easier for me, even with all the aches and pains. Because if there was anything anyone should know about me it was that I was stubborn to an absolute fault.

Lee didn’t comment on the pace though, nor my stiff gait as I slowly made my way towards him. Instead he simply asked me other things to keep my brain active. How I'd slept, if I'd caught up on this new show we'd both been watching, what music Matty'd had me listening to.

“Where’s our Matty today then anyway? Patients have been commenting on the sudden peace and quiet.”

I snorted and Lee, the sweetheart, gave me an apologetic smile when I winced at the sudden pain that flooded my chest. Even so, I was still unable to help the small grin I gave him.

“He’s downstairs getting breakfast with Ross.” I replied, picking at the remnants of the plaster they’d removed from my inner elbow when they’d taken the IV out. “Wanted to be on my own for this part.”

I was gifted an understanding nod in reply to my faint admission, and Lee took my good arm in his when I finally reached him. That was all that was said on the topic.

The bathroom was pretty big compared to what I’d actually pictured the first time I’d tried getting out of bed for a wee. It was a shower room, or that’s what Matty had called it. It had a sink and its very own toilet, but it was essentially just a massive shower. The head was situated on the far side wall and had a square drain just below it, but there were no dividers in the floor that separated the shower from the rest of the room. Only another long drain by the door’s threshold. 

It was a pretty cool concept, but I’d yet to put it to actual use. That was what this morning was all about though. And to say that I was nervous would have been a huge fucking understatement.

I inhaled as best as I could whilst my eyes darted around the mostly void space, needing to ebb some of the anxiety I felt, but even that simple task was slowly getting easier for me. I had to admit that Dr. Mann’s advice on doing those breathing and coughing exercises had sounded inhuman and had fucking killed the first few times round, but they were working. Helping a lot actually. And that’s all I could really ask for. 

Hopefully soon enough I’ll be out of this place. But I’ll easily admit that I will definitely miss all the lovely patients that have been in and out of here too, as well as some of the wards amazing staff. They’d truthfully been such a massive support system and had helped endlessly when I’d needed a distraction from my own frail state.

“You gonna be okay?” Lee questioned me then, it was a prompt, that much was sure, but his voice held so much sincerity. He was one of the few I’d come to treasure most. 

I glanced towards him and forced myself to give him a verbal response, after all he’d had to put up with my silent nods and moody cues all morning. 

“Yeah.” I breathed, eyes dancing away from his again, scared he’d see through my lie. “And you’ll be just outside the door, in case I need you?” I added quietly. 

“Just a shout away.” Lee reassured me in that sweet tone of his, rubbing at my forearm once before evidently letting go. He gestured towards one of the bathroom’s corners, “And if you can’t shout, then try and pull that long orange rope for me, yeah? Like we spoke about.”

I swallowed then pulled my bottom lip into my mouth. 

Lee must’ve known that I wasn’t in much of talkative mood, because he smiled once more and then went to take a seat back by the bed. I dragged myself to my impending doom, carefully shutting the door behind me.

I took a moment then to centre myself, locking the latch promptly, and then turned to have another look around. A towel had already been hung up for me just by the sink, one from home, and a small array of shower essentials were lined up on a hanger by the shower head, though, the mirror was what caught my immediate attention.

It was something I’d been avoiding each and every time I came in to use the sink or the toilet, now though… I almost felt myself drifting towards it. First with my eyes, unable to draw my gaze away from it for too long, and then with my body altogether. It just seemed to automatically stray in that direction.

Then with a jerk, I realised the intention there and quickly turned away before I could get a close enough look, pivoting back towards the shower head instead. I started it up.

It had been a long couple days. Tiring, although all I'd done is mainly just sleep. 

They’d seemed to drag on though, so repetitive, so mundane.

Just meds, meds, meds.

And talk, talk, talk.

I wanted to be out of here already. I wanted to be back home, where I felt safe. Home, where I could hole away for a while and deal with this all properly. Instead of facing it head on whilst having to front a smile for everyone else at the same time.

One bad day. One terrible fucking evening. And now my whole world felt as though it had fallen apart. Like sand seeping through clasped hands.

Usually, I was the one who knew how to deal with it all, with everything life threw at me. I knew how to cope. I was the one who’d always coped. I had to be. I’d always been. That was just how it had always worked. With my dad, then with mum, and the guys…

The water heated beneath my palm. I let my eyes slip close.

I was devastated, honestly. That’s the only word I could use to describe the way I’d been feeling recently. 

It felt like I was stuck in this never ending loop, a blackhole of nothingness. A vicious cycle of good and then shit and then fucked. Because when things were finally going good, finally getting better, life would just mow me the fuck back down. Literally, this time around, my mind unhelpfully supplied.

So as I carefully undressed and stepped under the shower's warm water, I had to try very hard not to think back to that night. To the screech of tires. To the shouts of my name. But the water it reminded me too much of the rain. It itched and it burned my skin. And it all felt a little too much. 

Blindly I swatted outwards towards the shower’s temperature dial, turning it and turning it until I shocked my body back to the present with a sharp stinging cold.

I had yet to even open my eyes either. To peer down at my battered body. The scars that marred it, both new and old. And still, I wanted to cry.

I swallowed, again. But that lump I felt forming in the back of my throat was only growing. I had to lean against the wall to stabilise myself, body shaking now. Panic coming in waves. I only had one free hand, the other in its cast and wrapped up tight, impenetrable to the water. I used it to soften the fall of my head when I let it hang, unable to hold it up much longer. 

My hair was wet, I could feel it clinging to the back of my neck. I promised I’d try to keep it out from under the spray, the wound they're still tender. But now it was wet and I’d gone and broken that promise. That thought only crumpled me further, cowering me in the corner just outside the spray’s cold curtain.

My chest heaved even in the frigid room and the water clung to the tiles and to my skin. It made me shiver even though I felt like I was close to melting.

My ribs hurt, my whole upper body really. And my arm slipped out from under me causing my hand fall to my side. Thoughtlessly I laid my fingertips against the skin there, wondering briefly if it was yellowing, or if it was still black and blue and purple. My breath hitched when I felt the new groove there. The line that numbed my fingers enough for them to dart away on their own accord. My arm followed just behind them and I found myself slumping, turning and slipping further down the tiled wall. Everything so cold.

I don’t know how much time passed before a tentative knock sounded on the door.

My head darted up so quickly I fretted over whether or not I’d just added whiplash to my extensive list of injuries. But I had to make sure that the door was still locked. That no one else could get in. I didn’t need anyone seeing me like this.

“Y/n? You alright in there?”

It was just Lee. 

“It’s just Lee.” I whispered to myself then inhaled sharply, ignoring the heat that licked its way through my chest. I forced a bravado. “Yeah!” I called back to him over the strength of the shower, “Fine!”

“You sure?”

“‘Course! Be out soon.”

I heard his hummed assent and then saw his shadow disappear from beneath the door. 

Fuck.

“Fuck!” I huffed, digging a knuckle into the corner of my eye and forcing myself to toughen up. “Fuck.” I repeated again, even softer than the last. The panic still looming.  

I strained myself trying to stand, gripping the nearby bar to aid me, but I did it in the end. And I had to push everything out of my head during the next few moments that followed, strategically washing myself down and rinsing off before I could crumble again. I kept my eyes tightly shut throughout it all, dismissing the more tender areas of my mangled body and focusing on the task at hand.

I could only assume that it was over in minutes, but those minutes had felt like hours to me. It’d almost been torturous.

I was quick to step away from where I’d been toying with the spray, too scared to fully submerge myself under it again, and was cautious not to slip as I tiptoed my way over towards the towel. 

It was honestly by chance that I happened to look up when I’d gotten the towel wrapped round me, only to see that I was in line with the mirror. 

So I stood there, bare feet pressed against the chilly laminate tiles beneath me, and tried to keep my breaths even. Match the heartbeat I heard in my left ear. The fine cut of silver that hung above the sink stared back at me mercilessly, and although now it was slightly fogged, I couldn’t find it in myself to tear my eyes away. The girl who stood within its four harsh lines was the same person I’d always been, only this girl, she was also the person I’d been running from. Trying to escape. For so, very long.

I watched when the smudgey girl walked closer to me, then observed the way she held up a frail hand to wipe at the chilly glass. The sound it made echoed within the room but it cleared the steam. 

Looking, I saw that her hair was long -unruly, really- longer than it had been in years. The ends of it they crept their way across the line of her shoulders and like ivy they intertwined, framing her features and darkening the colour that normally resided in irises so bright and alive. Those eyes were somewhat sunken this morning, hazy, hidden beneath heavy lids and black lashes that were long. The skin beneath them dark, only emphasising the vivid scarlet that rimmed her waterline and shot across the whites of her eyes like lightning.

Her cheeks were hollow which only made her look all the more gaunt. Haunted almost. And were exaggerated by the gloomy shadow of sodden hair that had fallen into her face. I blinked, watching the way she licked lightly at her muted pink lips. They were dry, bitten and frayed from hours of relentless anxiety, but parted ever so slightly that her hot breath was able to fog the mirrored glass a tad. 

The face she wore was young, unlined by worry, supple yet sharp. But had also been kissed by the cruel blades of glass and falling debris, spoiled by fading bruises that crept across the skin of her jaw and temples. Those bruises trickled though, inch by inch down her body, over her shiny collarbones and beneath the towel she’d swaddled herself in.

Some, a mere few, had described her face as beautiful, effortlessly pretty, but if she was being honest, deep down she knew that it was just a mask. A disguise used to conceal everything she herself didn’t want to see, didn’t want to seep out and taint what little good remained of her.

I gazed at the sad reflection, and it gazed back at me. I had to bite back and swallow down the fear that crawled its way up my throat- because yes, she was pretty, but she was also ruined, monstrous, and marred. The accident only further proved that point and I had to stand there and just stare, picking myself up piece by piece. 

And believe it or not, it wasn’t for the first time. I found myself wondering over how many pieces I'd lost, missing or scattered, like that of an overused puzzle. 

—ROSS’S POV—

“Fucking stupid.” Ross mumbled hotly under his breath, wondering why he’d ever even agreed to helping out in the first place.

“Oh just piss off, Ross.”

He turned his head and sent a bored glare in the direction the voice had come from. Matty was on the other side of the room from him, playing with blankets and pillows, and just being an overall twat really.

“You piss off. How the fuck have you had me standing here for the last fifteen minutes? My arms are aching, mate.”

Matty merely rolled his eyes and Hann, who was a way away, holding up the other end which belonged to one of the endless supplies that Matty had coerced him into bringing over, sighed too. For a minute there Ross actually thought he was going to have some back up, but knew he was wrong the second Adam opened his fat mouth.

“Toughen up and hold it higher, would you?”

“Yeah, what Hann said!” Matty snarked, looking back at them from inside the fortress he’d started to build. “Besides, you’re a fucking tree, Ross, this should feel like light work to you.” 

Ross’s eyes only narrowed further and he had to clench his jaw to keep from actually decking Hann and Matty both when the pair of them only continued to hassle him over his placement of the string. He just hoped that Y/n showered quickly.

—

Even though it’d been a fucking task, one which left me feeling drained and scrubbed raw. It also did feel really good to be clean again. No more blood or sweat.

I’d long since shut the shower off and had to call out to Lee to ask for the clothes I’d accidentally left on the foot of my bed in my haste to get this whole thing over with, as well as my reluctancy to even go through with it. My head had been a mess, in shorter terms, so it was just a surprise that the clothes had been the only thing I’d forgotten.

Although, instead of the neat pile I’d made, Lee had slipped a baggy through the cracked opening I'd made in the door whilst cowering behind it, wrapped up securely in my towel. I’d frowned and told him he must’ve misheard me, but the nurse only shook the bag and told me, with a small chuckle, that he definitely hadn’t misunderstood. So I’d taken it and had been so pleasantly surprised by the sight that had greeted me upon opening it up.

My dressing gown! The one I lived when I was home, the same one I’d been gifted a few years ago by my nana. It was the perfect ratio of fluffy to towel, and left you feeling as though you were wandering around a spa. I almost squealed as I draped it over my shoulders, revelling in the immense comfort it brought me even with the struggle to get my casted arm through the sleeve.

I didn’t sneak another glance in the mirror though, mostly due to the fact that I couldn’t face it, but also because already knew that I was sporting a smile. It was a very thoughtful gift and I wondered over who had the foresight to bring it to the hospital for me. 

Nevertheless, I upturned the rest of the bag I’d been handed and found that the gown hadn’t been my only gift. A pair of newly brought slippers rested at the bottom, alongside a silk hair-tie and a pair of… lacy knickers. 

I snorted out loud at the sight of them, instantly clueing onto the suspect at hand. Only Healy would push his luck like this. But I still slipped into them, as well as the slippers that felt like an honest to god dream. Then took the time to try and tuck the damp strands of my hair into a loose ponytail with the tie I’d been gifted, but it was a shoddy attempt due to me being only one handed and unable to tug my arms up any higher than my waist. And that was with me really trying, too. 

I sighed huffily to myself and gave up after the third attempt, but didn’t let it dampen the warmth that had shrouded me since I’d received the goodie bag. Though, I did find myself having to take a couple more breaths before I actually unlocked the door and pulled it open.

I didn’t know what I’d expected waiting on the other side of it. Perhaps Lee lounging on one of the many chairs that scattered the room, or Matty and Ross pissing about after having returned from the canteen. But this.. this surely wasn’t it.

“Surprise!” The four boys shouted at me. Ross wearing a fancy tiara and grinning like a clown from where he’d made himself comfortable on the end of my bed. Hann holding a tray of cupcakes topped with chocolate and fondant whilst giving me a lopsided smile, one that sort of gave away his helpless shrug and said, ‘Sorry if you hate this but here you go’. Lee was there too, chuckling away at the picture my face must’ve made, recording it all on someones phone. And then there was Matty, who was beaming brightly just by the bathroom door with his hands hidden behind his back, rocking in place.

My mouth was wide open and swinging in complete truth, this was all so incredible. From the buffet of snacks that had been smuggled in, as well as the banners and streamers that were hung up on the walls, to the balloons which littered the corners of the room and made the entrance to the pillow fortress that had been made even grander.

My eyes, watering and bright, darted between the four as I struggled to find the right words to say, or any words at all.

“Wow.” Was what I settled on and chuckled along with the rest of them even when Matty pulled me into a hug. “Did you plan all this?” I whispered out loud, wet gaze still jumping around what had once been my dreary hospital room.

Matty’s grin when he pulled away from me was only that much brighter and he nodded at me rapidly before he asked, “You like it then?”

“Like it?” I breathed out in awe, “I fucking love it.”

I turned to the rest of them on shaky feet, “Thank you. All of you. I- I don’t know what to say to be honest.”

“How about dig in?” Ross decided for me, already jumping up to cross the room. My attention followed his. “I picked up a Chinese a while ago and it’s been sat in that bag just waiting for me.”

I cracked an airy chuckle and rolled my eyes at him before gesturing to go ahead. “By all means, mate. Hate for you to go hungry on my account.”

Matty snorted from beside me and I glanced over when he leant in closer and whispered, “Watched him eat three cookies and eight of them mini sausage rolls before I had to have Hann take over unpacking everything for him.”

“Sounds about right.” I hummed, taking a cupcake from Adam when he approached whilst Matty darted his way over to take the phone from Lee. I could only assume that they'd started watching it when the two of them begun chuckling and smiling down at the thing. “Thanks again, for the cupcake and the party.” I smiled towards Adam and took a small bite out of the side of the frosted treat, “So, who’s bright idea was all this then?”

Hann quirked a brow in retort that told me more than his smirk ever did. “Do you even need to ask?” He jerked his chin back over towards the curly haired prat in the corner. “Texted me late last night, wanting to cheer you up.”

Ah.

I nodded at Hann slowly. Last night had been a tough one. I’d felt grim. The pain wouldn’t subside so I couldn't sleep. And I was non-stop crying. Just fraying at the edges, waiting to come undone.

Matty had been there though, alongside the doctors and Lee. I hated the thought of them seeing me like that, so weak and fragile. Even a bit embarrassed about the whole charade now I was stood with Hann. I tried to ignore it.

“Carls should be by too,” Adam mentioned to me, “Wanted to stop in after work.”

I grinned, I loved the party they'd thrown but seeing Carly right now would probably top seeing Bowie play live. Well, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. But I’d only seen her in brief passing this week, when I’d been hazing in and out of sleep due to the medication I’d been on. But I did know that she’d stopped by an awful lot though, I’d woken up to see flowers on the sill, and my favourite chocolates on the side. Her lovely perfume always seemed to linger too. 

The late morning quickly bled into afternoon and I found myself forgetting about pain and hurt and lies. Just bathing in the warmth I felt surrounding me. Lee had gone back to making his rounds but said he’d be stopping in again before he finished. Leaving me with two adult children and an annoyingly loved up couple when Carly finally arrived. I made the most of it though, because I loved them. And I could see the amount of love they had for me in return during the time we spent playing board games and talking and gossiping about ours lives and just laughing.

It all felt so surreal.

It was actually long past visiting hours when the nurse on-duty finally had to kick Ross, Hann and Carly out- but they’d only been able to stay as long as they had because no one else on the ward had had any complaints about them, seeing as we’d passed around the shit ton of food Matty had gone and ordered.

I couldn’t stop myself from smiling away though even as the door shut behind the three. I was sad to see them go but still so energised by the good time we’d had.

“Oi.”

My head turned towards where Matty’s voice had come from and frowned when he was nowhere to be seen. 

“Matty? Where the fuck are you?” I asked around an amused snort. I really shouldn’t have been all that surprised when he stuck his head out of the fort he'd made with spare sheets and filled with pillows, but somehow I was.

“You coming or what?” He beckoned me.

I stared a him for a very long second before an airy laugh escaped me, the only sort that didn’t seem to hurt all that much these days. And without another word said, I stood and made my way over to join him, smiling in appreciation when he gave me his hand so that I could lower myself down onto the floor.

“Your castle awaits you and all that crap.” Matty whispered to me with a goofy grin and helped settle me into a comfortable position, one where a mountain of pillows was able to cocoon my body.

Once I was okay and ignoring the twitch in my back, I could finally glance about the place. I hadn’t had the chance to look it over before with all the excitement that'd been going on, but it really was incredible. Somehow Matty had managed to wrangle up an impressive number of sheets which stretched from one side of my bed over to two chairs he’d found, he’d strung up a few strings of battery operated fairy lights that trailed from one end to another, and had my laptop already opened up to Netflix.

The smile I broke into stretched my skin when Matty pressed play and the intro to one of my all-time favourite films begun to play. It then grew impossibly wider when he pulled a bowl of popcorn out of nowhere and nestle it between us.

I had to reel it in a tad, I knew that, but it was hard. I didn't think many people had gone so above and beyond for me before. I felt truly loved.

“This better be salted, Healy.” I told him with a mock stern expression, cautiously taking a piece from the bowl.

Matty rolled his eyes at me, “Yes, alright, Drama queen. Don’t have a conniption on me.”

My mouth quirked on its own accord. “Be the best place for it, but I’d hate to go and ruin your plans.”

With an exasperated shake of his head and a hidden smile that wasn’t quite so hard to see, Matty stole a handful and popped some into his gob. “It’s salted, princess. Promise.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “For your sake you’d better not be lying.”

He laughed happily. “What’ve you got against sweet? Or buttered, or God forbid-”

I shot a hand out to clasp it over his mouth. “If you dare say toffee, I swear.”

“Toffee.” Matty finished, having licked my palm to free himself from my hold. I grimaced at both the foul gesture and the flavour.

“It’s the worst kind!”

“As opposed to stuffing your face with salt? It just dries your mouth out.”

I levelled him with a serious look, “Says the man inhaling it.”

Matty shrugged at me, eyes locked back on the screen. “’S good.”

He hushed me before I could contradict him and so I simply settled on a well deserved huff, relaxing further into the cushions whilst the films soundtrack played and Matty stole another handful of popcorn from the bowl.

—

My brow pinched when I stirred awake and my entire body ached with it. I hissed quietly to myself as I peered through squinted eyes to try and get a grasp back on reality.

It seemed like Matty and I had fallen asleep in the fort whilst watching old film classics late last night and if the sun, which skittered through the opening of sheets surrounding us, was to be believed it was now early morning. 

I rubbed at my tired eyes then practically jumped out of my skin when Ross’s giant head popped into view at the entrance, scaring the shit out of me. I put a hand to my heart as an inaudible gasp bypassed my lips and had to narrow my eyes at him when he merely laughed in retort.

“Knob.” I cursed him, sniffing before I caught sight of a still-sleeping Matty sprawled out beside me, mouth wide open and catching flies, his head nestled into my side.

“You love me really.” Ross replied rightly as his gaze skirted between us. His happy expression dimmed by a couple dozen bulbs and was rapidly replaced by a solemn sort of smile, “Er, you fancy coming out to join me? And maybe not waking him up whilst you’re at it.”

At the confused face I pulled, Ross just gave me an imploring sort of look with his eyes that I couldn’t outright ignore, and so when I carefully nodded in agreement he stuck out a hand. Slowly but surely he pulled me from the makeshift tent and with a pained wince I thanked him.

“Don’t thank me just yet.” He replied and the furrow between my brows only deepened at his words.

“Ross, what-” 

But my sentence was immediately cut short when my eyes met the shrivelled figure who was stood by the door, their face a priceless picture, appearing as though they were about to make a dive for the window instead of the actual door. Desperation and guilt swarming every fibre of their being.

“George?”

Part sixteen>

[frukmerunning]

How do you reconcile the Nazi-apologia aspects of Hetalia as a Jewish fan (I presume you are Jewish because you made a Passover headcanon, if you are not, apologies). I don't mean this as a callout or accusation or anything, I'm asking for advice. I'm also Jewish, and I want to enjoy Hetalia, like, I stumbled on this fandom and this anime and I want to enjoy it! But I can't get the guilt and shame out of the back of my head.

I don't think Himaru intentionally meant Hetalia to be anti-Semetic. I'm not accusing anyone of being a Holocaust denier for engaging in this fandom. But it doesn't change the fact that this anime is about the Axis Powers during WWII and they're portrayed as good guys. Like, you can't even argue they're villain protagonists or anything they're just straight up lil cinnamon rolls. And it is fucking adorable, but it makes me feel so dirty! Like, its not intentional but when I'm watching any WWII episode or reading one of the WWII strips I'm watching it feels like Nazi apologia. And when these characters' fascist uniforms are their standard designs, when the imagery of fascism is used without context, it unintentionally erases the real, extremely fucked up, and personally traumatizing, history.

So how do you personally find a balance? Like how do you engage in a way you feel like doesn't cause further harm? How do you reconcile canon, history, and your own thoughts on these characters? And do you have any advice on how I can?

I've thought a lot about this question since I got it, and I have a lot of thoughts but I don't know if I can organize them very well. （also yes I am Jewish you assumed right)

So I guess the first thing I'll tackle is that my own thoughts on the characters trump everything in canon, especially with Germany. For an American, I have a pretty strong connection with Germany. I've had a German penpal since I was 13, I've visited Germany, one of my favorite professors was German, and right before I started typing this I spent almost 3 hours talking with the German students that come to the music camp I work at. I've met a LOT of Germans in my relatively short life, so I have that personal connection to influence my thoughts on the Hetalia character. And I've completely separated my view on the German people from my view on that time in their history. I think then it was easy for me to separate the character Germany from that time in history.

Bouncing off from that, Hetalia isn't REALLY about WW2. Yes, the catalyst for Germany, Italy, and Japan being friends is WW2, but there's nothing in the anime that is explicitly WW2. The "battle" scenes take place on a deserted island, their "war meetings" amount to nothing, and no specific dates or events are really mentioned when WW2 is involved. Now in the manga, however, I kinda just steer clear of the specific WW2 stuff?? But even then the only example of Hima explicitly mentioning something that happened in WW2 I can actually recall is an old strip about the Anschluss. That strip is from very early Hetalia though and Hima has definitely shifted his focus to other aspects of world history and culture.

Another thing about Hetalia is that pretty much everyone is a "good guy". There are no real antagonists or villains. There are literally only protagonists, with the main protagonists being the axis powers.

From your ask I kinda gather that you're very new to Hetalia and maybe you have the wrong impression of the anime and fandom from people who hate it. But honestly, Hetalia is not inherently antisemetic or even about WW2 when you really get down to the meat of it. Hetalia is a comedy anime and it doesn't take itself or the things it's presenting seriously (with some exceptions). Hima doesn't really doesn't delve too deeply into ANY of the history he potrays, so it would be a little out of place to see him addressing the very serious war crimes committed by those countries.

Also idk where to fit this in, but the countries in Hetalia are not representative of their government, but their people. Which I think is how Hima avoids talking about serious war crimes committed by governments. He's more interested in talking about culture, rather than history. Or he uses historical settings to talk about fun facts or culture.

I understand feeling guilty though. Personally, I avoid the historical hetalia side of the fandom, just so I never run the risk of seeing something weird (not saying that people regularly write that kind of stuff). In my own art and thoughts about the show, I'm more interested in portraying the characters as real, modern people, based on my own experiences with people from those countries. I also do a lot with my favorite character Austria, who is jewish coded. My favorite characters in the series are the axis affiliated ones, countries I've visited and met people from and built a connection with. But I've also been in the fandom for 10+ years at this point, so it's much easier for me to entirely change Hima's characters and morph them into something that fits what I want.

I'm really tired because I've been working a music camp all week, so I hope this makes sense. I definitely have more thoughts and I'd love to talk to you more about this, please feel free to dm me here and we can exchange discords or something. I always like talking to other jewish hetalia fans, and I think it's nice to have these kinds of conversations so we can help each other.

But to answer your question in a short way - I just don't think about it. Maybe that makes me a bad person but it's what I have to do at this point, because I can't not like hetalia

[hall0wedwyrm]

Minecraft Headcanons for the anniversary

Happy birthday to the biggest brainrot ive ever had.

I wanna share my own hcs for the Block People!! because I haven't escaped them in all of my conscious existance. I am required by law to also include Herobrine. Okay here you go <3

Steve is ancient. As the first mortal being, he's been around for a very long time and watched the world change countless times. They still find exploring very rewarding, as they're always finding new things.

think of the world as like... when you update the game and the unexplored chunks have the new content... its just like that.

Alex is not as old... but they are still very very old. As the second mortal being, they are not as experienced but they know a lot about the world. They're a thrill seeker, and they looove danger.

Steve still panics when they jump into danger, even though they have been together for centuries at this point.

Alex is a free spirit, but they also have their own comfort in their base and being in familiar territory

They're very much the kind of player who has the huuuuge main base with all of their mob farms and projects being close by or easily accessible, where Steve would just have their one home and expand accordingly (a room for... basically everything)

Now... Herobrine is like. THE Oldest Being. He literally made the Nether, and Mobs, which were already around when Steve first appeared.

I have this headcanon that Herobrine is the sibling of the End Poem entities? Where hes their cast out brother because he was 'messing with their perfect world' and they decided to put him in the world. He wanted there to be a challenge but they were having NONE of it

If you know Narinder from Cult of the Lamb... like that.

He got assigned as the ruler of monsters after the individual monarchs had acknowledged him as their Creator. He lives in the Nether.

He's currently working on his Overworld Mansion (i.e. Herobrine's Mansion if you remember) since his siblings presence has faded away, and hes jumping at the chance to adventure into the overworld. He's picked a spot thats nicely tucked away in a deep forest

Herobrine originally believed that Steve was made to be a mockery of his new form, but ended up getting attached to them instead.

He then met Alex and they unintentionally swept him off his feet. They were a very fresh breath of air in his life and he appreciates them greatly.

He thinks Steve is okay (Hes obsessed with them).

Yeah... i'm a Hero/Steve/Alex shipper. I'm also the enjoyer of Steve/Herobrine and Alex/Herobrine as stand alone items too... basically im very open to any variation of this ship i just love them together lmao.

Herosteve enemies to lovers

Hero is Pan, Alex is genderfluid bi and Steve is demiboy bi there you go

I love masc Alex... but i do also like Alex being buff and fem.

Although i do love they them Steve a lot too... maybe at somepoint Steve tried just they them and was like 'this is kinda cool and also i dont mind either'

The newer characters (Noor, Sunny, Ari, Zuri, Makena, Kai and Efe) have built a community spot together. They're like a smp server where they announce "hey guys I'm heading to the mines anyone wanna join?" and there ends up being a little team who heads out.

Alex and Steve are the cool mentors who visit sometimes and help out. Alex brings cool trinkets and rarer items while Steve provides extra blocks and food.

Steve's advice is shit but Alex is actually pretty good at it???

"You just gotta go find it" vs "Oh heres a detailed explanation of how to find what youre looking for"

Herobrine is the 'creature that hangs around in the shadows sometimes' and watches over them. He's not malevolent towards them, so they assume he's somekind of protective force

Ari and Sunny saw him first, and Kai n Zuri did not believe them when they told them. Efe though it was cool though, but Makena didn't leave their safe area for like a week until Noor reasoned with her and said it was probably nothing.

okay yeah im doing part 2 for this with world building headcanons and for the other guys because i made basic ideas for my interpretations of them but this is kinda long already

[goodluckclove]

I'm writing a new thing!! I don't really need advice I'm just excited about starting it. They're gay and one of them's a shapeshifter the other has a culturally engrained fear of shapeshifters given that as defenders of the wilderness/ basically very local gods they tend to fuck up anyone who's in their space. I also dong know how to start books which is an issue my beginnings are always weak. How do I start a book. Do I describe the sheep? He's a shepherd btw which I think is fun because the shapeshifter often takes the form of a wolf or coyote. It's also set in a relatively high fantasy setting (no elves and shit just weird magic and a different landscape) that vaguely corresponds to the late 17 or 1800s (they've got some guns i think, they ride horses and trains might exist). How do I start a book. What do I start with. Where do I start. There's no real solid beginning I've got in mind, just a dude trying to take his sheep over a large area on his own. Help please I do actually need advice

Well you see, Ghostie, everyone knows that the first sentence of a novel is the most important part of the entire story. It has to contain the main character's name - in fact, it has to contain the names of every character in your cast - and it has to provoke intrigue and resolve it in a satisfying way without being a too long and jesus christ i can no longer keep up this bit.

I'm annoyed by people who say you need to have a super profound first line. I mean, they're good when they happen. If you can think of one that's great. But if you can't you aren't fucked right off the gate. If your first line isn't something people will get calligraphed onto canvases to hang on the walls of their boring houses (Is this a thing? Did I just make up a type of person to hate?), it doesn't mean your beginning won't be good.

You want to hook the reader. That's what all the guides say, right? They describe a person picking your book off the proverbial shelf and leafing through the first page to see if it's something they'd be interested in. That's solid, but then some go on to make it seem like you have maybe ten words before they either buy the book or toss it across the room in disgust. I'm not saying this is never true. I'm just saying that, personally, that type of person is probably not someone who'd be interested in me or my stories to begin with.

Usually when I'm considering a new book I'll skim the first few pages and then a bit throughout the middle, just to see if I like the prose. I do not put that much weight in the beginning, but it's always a good sign when the general scene feels purposeful. It doesn't have to be a car chase/diamond heist/sex scene/murder. I read someone somewhere saying that you have to start with something exciting and it took like an hour off my life I was so angry.

Here's one out of a billion angles to tackle this puzzle from - where does the story start for you? What is the inciting incident to the inciting incident? This feels like something easy to answer, but oftentimes what you come up with might feel a little inconsequential.

A beginning scene - like, for instance, a prologue centered around only sheep and coyotes - does not necessarily sound interesting on its own. But in a world where shapeshifters usually take on those forms it both sets up the world and establishes a mood. You can play with how much information you give people in the world.

Using my book as an example because I've been watching my editor @hoard-sweet-hoard react to it in real time, at one point he commented that he didn't know if the Eddie in my initial prologue is the same guy as the Edgar in Chapter One. And I was like yeah man that's the whole goddamned point of the book you tiny little king of fools. I wasn't at all that mean. I made a really good sandwich for dinner so I'm feeling extra rowdy. But the point is that I focused less on the action and more on the feeling it would create in the reader.

With that mindset the action doesn't really matter. If it's mundane it can be comforting, or tiring, or numbing, or eerie, or unnerving. If it's far removed from the world we know it can be fantastical and whimsical and sexy, maybe? I don't know. God that sandwich was good. I'm getting really into bagels lately.

Also, from purely the perspective of a writer, you might think of a better beginning midway into the draft. So you can also go back and make a weak start much stronger. You can skip the beginning entirely if it's really fucking with your life. Come back to it later. Who will stop you? Me? I don't even know how to find you. And if I did, you could easily kill me. You have that vibe and I am very clumsy.

Also also start posting excerpts when you get going because that shit sounds rad as fuck.

My bagel had egg and bacon and a hash brown patty and caramelized onion. Man has done a lot of sin, but it is almost neutralized by the insight we once had to caramelize onions. They have a unique flavor that I can only describe as eating the house of a beloved grandmother? Or maybe just the way that house makes you feel?

Yum.

[averagetmntfan]

it’s crazy that 2023 is almost to an end! Another year that just flew by!

I’ll be honest, I was desperate to post my art somewhere. It’s been kinda a rough couple of years for me. And recently.

I was extremely sad last year. Around this time, actually. Let me paint a picture.

Last year, I switched schools. Which I guess doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it was to me. My whole life was at my other school. My friends. They were the best. As u can probably imagine, I starting at a brand new school is hard. Especially when everyone already knows eachother. This might come as a shocker, but I’m kinda Anti-social when it comes to ppl around my age. (Especially cuz ppl my age are such bitches Lmao) for the longest time, I coped using discord And tik tok. I Even made my own little group. But ofc, that had to come to an end too. after that, I was sad again. For the longest time I had all these ideas, but no one to really share them with.

(cuz none of my irl friends like nor watched tmnt) and recently I ended a friendship w/ someone. We were both in the wrong, I’ll admit. I did say somethings behind her back. Nothing too bad. But it did call her a hypocrite. Because she would always complain about our other friends leaving to hang out w/ other ppl. When she does the exact same thing. And I was alone. Alone at lunch. Just sitting there. She would treat me so..rudely. Just plain rude. I asked her a question (Idk what is was exactly) and she responded with such a rude response. And that was on fucking Halloween. (Which I was sick on) so that’s when the entire friendship fell to shit.

Since then I’ve been hanging out by myself in the library (well, the times it’s open anyway) so u can probably imagine how I feel. Then one day, it all changed. I discover this wonder escape. Tumblr. I signed up and made this acc. And I met such amazing ppl on it.

@allyheart707: has given me good advice on my little comic series, genially super nice, fun to chat w/. I think I’ve been mutuals w/ her for the longest.

@ghosty-0w0: very silly, I have so much fun doing art collabs w/ you!! Again, very nice and thoughtful. Mutuals for a bit but it feels longer!!

@mikey-rottmnt: the ultimate silly, whiteboard was to much fun (I’m gonna try and make another board for us lol), I have no idea how we became mutuals lmao. Very fun to chat w, always open to listen, caring and sweet. I enjoy having conversations w/ u!

@c00kietin: I had a lot of fun drawing u!!!, Irish gang 🍀☘️, that one time I didn’t get sleep was chaotic, very chill, a local amphibia fan!! I wanna talk more w/ u, cuz ur js so cool!!

I Hope y’all have an amazing new year! May the year bring u luck, kindness, adventures (hopefully) not artblock, and alot of ideas!! (Not that anyone of u need them, cuz ur so creative!!)

and dw..Hehe..I will make u all suffer w/ ANGST ANGST AND…fluff. JK MORE ANGST >:))

(no but real talk I will not js do all Angst I swear—)

I APOLOGIZE FOR THE OTHER MUTUALS THAT IK AND ARENT ON HERE, ITS CUX I FORGOT UR TAGS!!!

[insanefan]

9 People You Want to Know Better Tag

Tagged by @ankhegs-in-my-salad, aaaaa

Three ships: Hoo boi, sailboats or kayaks? xD I'll admit I am currently mildly obsessed with my own OC Val'dran's ship (catamaran??) of OC/Tav with Halsin and Sorn from bg3, but otherwise...

Let's go with Essek/Caleb from critrole because wizards being stupid in love is fun (and angsty. oh the angst)

And then Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims from Magnus Archives because MORE ANGST what can I say (also eldritchness which is good stuffs)

First ship: Uhhh that's a while ago... I think maybe Kagome/Sesshomaru from Inuyasha?? That was a time xD

Last Song: Upp úr øskuni - Eivør

Last Movie: Oh gods I'm so bad at actually watching movies because then I have to sit and Not Do Other Things. (or go "wait what DID happen" when I inevitably started writing/drawing/knitting etc etc) BUT anyway I think it was probably Nimona. It's super cute, go watch it.

Currently Reading: The Dawn of Everything. A New History of Humanity by David Graeber and David Wengrow. What can I say, history and social anthropology is interesting, especially when we start reflecting over how bad we are at understanding and reflecting over anything different from ourselves.

Currently Watching: Finally braving Good Omens 2, only one episode in though.

Currently Eating: I had chocolate muffin. It's gone. I ate it.

Currently Craving: Another chocolate muffin. Or also pancakes. I need to use up some eggs anyway.

Favourite colour: Hot pink! Once upon a time a girlchild went "I don't like pink! I'm not that kind of girl!" and then that girlchild grew up and went "actually this colour is rad"

Favourite flavour: Hmmmmm rhubarb, mango, cherries? If those tastes are involved I'm THERE. Tho you never go wrong with chocolate. Or mint. Mmm tastes.

Current obsession: I guess Baldur's Gate? But less the game rn and more the community I've found through it and also my own OC who has gone from being casually rotated every now and then to spinning like a drill.

Last thing I googled: Isle of Lewis. I forgot its placement and needed to check where specifically it was in explaining the chess pieces found there that were created in Trøndelag xD

Favourite season: Autumn. Fun colours, livable temperature. Not so great when it's wet, but hey, rain clothes exist for a reason.

Skill I’d like to learn: All the things all the time? Tho I suppose 3d modelling and such, so I could make things and figures for my 3d printing.

Best Advice: Take a step back and breathe sometimes. Life hurtles by in a hurry, but that doesn't mean you need to hurtle alongside it all the time.

No pressure tags for @olesmokes @thetruemommabear and anyone else who'd like to play!!

[kaiwewi]

Choice Misfits #2

[Masterlist: Choice Misfits] [Part 1]

Synopsis: Former Villain is suffering through a tedious Hero Agency meeting. But the new sidekick is about to shake things up.

Two weeks had gone by since that irritating new sidekick's first day at the Hero Agency, and yet the kid still hadn't chosen a mentor.

Sidekick had demanded to take part in a couple missions first before they’d pick the hero who’d become their primary teacher. Extended orientation periods weren’t common practice, but the heroes had agreed enthusiastically; after all, most of them loved to show off their abilities and none of them would pass on a chance to become mentor to the kid who possessed more than one power.

At breaktime, the corridors were filled with hushed whispers of Sidekick’s tremendous potential and the bright future of the Hero Agency. Nothing substantial; all gossip and speculations, fuelled by the fact that Superhero had never wanted a candidate to enrol in the program this desperately.

Naturally, the kid knew to exploit the situation.

If Sidekick wanted extras, they’d get them. If Sidekick wanted to see every group member in action, they’d be allowed to join the team on missions. If Sidekick wanted to choose the design for their own costume, the Agency’s designer would practically lick the kid’s boots and thank them for the opportunity.

It was ridiculous, bordering on degrading.

Former Villain listlessly chewed on a gummy worm as they watched the heroes busying themselves with paperwork and mission reports. There wasn’t really a point in them being here, since no one gave much of a damn about their contributions anyway. But if they brought that up one more time, Superhero might just go through with her threat of assigning them to garage duty, which was worse. (Being bored eating candy while sitting in a well-cushioned chair was objectively much better than being bored not eating candy while sweeping a hall that reeked of dust and gasoline.)

“Okay,” Superhero said, “this concludes mission planning. Does anyone have anything to add?”

Sidekick stepped forward.

“I’ve made my choice,” they said and all whispered conversations in the meeting room immediately ceased.

Superhero perked up. She smiled her friendliest sparkling superhero smile (a tad too broad to look entirely believable) and rounded the table. She put her hand on the kid’s shoulder.

“That is wonderful, Sidekick. Whom did you pick?”

Of course, everyone already knew Superhero herself would be the obvious choice for a mentee with multiple powers. She had four different abilities and could wield three of them with great precision and destructive force. Her guidance would be invaluable.

Hero would be another good choice. Though he only had two powers, he could combine those to an annoyingly devastating effect. But not every power combination would necessarily yield such great results under hero's custom-tailored approach. So that was a bit of a gamble.

However, no matter which of the heroes the sidekick would pick, it should be fine. Most of the other team members would make excellent mentors as well. Training the recruits was a group effort for the most part anyway, and everyone got to train with Superhero or Hero at some point. The recruits’ personal mentors merely offered additional support, a few hours of extra practice, and advice.

Picking a less busy hero might actually prove the better choice.

Either way, all of this was highly ceremonial, no more than superficial rituals and PR gigs. Tomorrow, this would be all over the news, taking up screen time that could have been better spend on providing crucial information about the state of the world and its people.

So annoying …

They fished around in their pack of gummy worms, collecting only the red-and-yellow ones, and sighed. Urgh, official meetings were the worst.

The silence stretched, then Sidekick said, “I want that one.”

Someone gasped, too loud in a room so eerily still. A moment later, several sets of feet began to shuffle on the linoleum-covered floor. Nobody spoke.

They looked up then, from the handful of gummy worms they’d been about to stuff into their mouth, at the sidekick pointing directly at them.

As they locked eyes, the kid's polite smile morphed into a smirk.

“I want Former Villain to be my mentor.”

[Part 3]

———

For my other stories, visit my [MASTERLIST] ♥

[moonspirit]

do you have advice you can kindly give new fanfic writers who are too scared of the blank page, posting and the fandom's judgement?

Hello anon~

I don't know if I'm the best person to ask, but I'll do my best to help you.

Feelings of fear are not uncommon for writers in general; whether someone is just starting out or has been writing for years - there can still be fear. The blank page can be scary because there's no words on it and you don't how to put them there. Posting can be scary because few might respond. The fandom's judgement is always scary because the fandom is this swarm of bees and you don't want it to focus any of its ire on you.

That said, as much as anyone wants to receive appreciation for what they write, writing should always, always, first and foremost, satisfy your own desires. When starting out, at least, a few things can help:

1. Become immersed in your story. Live it. Breathe in it. Watch it unfold like a beautifully directed movie in your head. Spend time thinking about it. Fall in love with it. Get so into your own story that all the external worries like recognition, appreciation, likes, kudos, hits etc become only a second priority. Your story should give you happiness. A LOT of happiness. Your first priority is to live inside your epic story.

2. Don't look at the blank page for its blankness. Write. Just write. Write it badly. Forget tenses and logic and continuity and prettiness. Just write. Finish your first full draft, even if it's filled with a million typos. Getting sidetracked into correcting and fixing and achieving perfection during the first draft is one of the major reasons people never complete. Trust me, once you have that finished draft, the rest is so much simpler. You can do anything with a written document, like edit, re-write, change, rephrase... but you can't do any of that if there's no document in the first place!

3. It can really help to make a brief outline of your story. Short bullet points of what happens in order. Noting down the dialogues in brief. What happens after what. So when you're actually writing the full story, you have something to refer to. It can make it easier to fill that blank page if you see your road to the bottom clearly.

4. At this stage at least, don't worry about the fandom's judgement. I will say it is a superficial thing to be frightened about, but many of us have been scared of the same thing, so I understand you - I won't invalidate your concern. Fandom is a free and open place to create, discuss, share your stuff, and enjoy yourself. And while every fandom has its dark corner, it's important to know that you have to really avoid those corners. Step foot there and things become unpleasant. Most people in fandom are nice. Assume as such, and just write your fic.

What should matter the most to you is to find that sensation of happiness that comes after finishing a story :3 That satisfaction is a feeling that trumps everything else.

I don't know if any of this is helpful but please, try them out. I hope you get something nice out of it at least :3

A lot of good luck to you!!!!

[ekebolou]

So I did start watching the live-action adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender, and I will probably keep watching it because I want to see what these actors do, but I also think it's a pretty good indication of How Not To Make a Good Adaptation, not because anyone is doing a bad job but because somebody with a financial spreadsheet and no spine was making all the final calls.

If you're looking at this show, I think it's important to understand its parameters to understand the creative decisions being made. There are a few that are great - it is the dreaded live-action adaptation of a beloved franchise. That it's a beloved franchise, however, means that meaty roles can be filled with underrepresented or underappreciated actors, so rather than being mad that it's a live-action adaptation, you can be excited that you're getting to see new talent or overshadowed talent in big, extended, emotionally varied roles. That it's live-action means we see these people get to do what they do best, so at least it's not CGI cats voiced by big-name celebrities instead of talented voice actors.

However, because it's Netflix, whose whole business model circles the drain of 'how to not pay or pay the absolute least amount of residuals or really any money to any creative or technical person or really any person not in the c-suite', it is an 8-episode season. It's an 8-episode season because they've cut 'filler', or as many would see it, 'character development', because 'filler' costs money. They want to make it cheaply and quickly, and finish it cheaply and quickly, on the back of its existent fame, so that any chance any of the people involved might conceivably develop favorable bargaining conditions, or even time to bargain, is headed off at the pass. For the guy with the financial spreadsheet, they can put out a lot of money to make it 'good' (avoid the 'mistakes' of previous adaptations) but only if they cut off any chance of anyone else making money off whatever favorable reception it gets. [This is my own belief. I don't believe anything anyone else has said about this, because all of these media companies and indeed many companies are run by cultural vandals, who understand nothing but how to lie to make money. Cut them and they wouldn't bleed, lies would pour out of the wound. Not to be dramatic about it or anything.]

That means you've got a 20-episode season shoved into an 8 episode season. But otherwise, the creative (not the c-suite, or spreadsheet guy) forces behind the show are working hard to make that a rewarding 8-episode season. So taking that as a starting point, they have made some interesting creative decisions, some of which work better than others. I don't really know why I'm writing this, except that I think it's actually a really great opportunity to learn what works and what does and why as a way of improving your own work.

{I guess I should say there's probably some variety of spoilers coming up? If that's even a thing that can happen at this point?}

If you've ever seen writing advice go by that says stuff like 'no prologues' or 'no dreams or flashbacks as exposition', this show gives you a good example of why that's shit advice.

The animated series (OG) starts, for the most part, in media res (not totally, that's for later). Sokka and Katara have a fight over fishing and waterbending, establishing a shitload of worldbuilding as well as solid relationship dynamics (siblings!), and they stumble on Aang, who is genuinely like a goddamn alien to them almost, which establishes significant change in the setting as well.

The live-action series (LA) starts by introducing Aang as exceptionally talented, and the Airbenders, and the concept of the Avatar (all through dialogue, except for the talent bit, where instead we get an audience 'ooh-ing' and 'ahh-ing' at what comes across, thanks to the dialogue, as arrogant high-jinks in perhaps one of the most annoying introductory scenes I've seen lately).

Actually, wait, I've already fucked up, because in fact the annoying scene was so annoying I forgot the show actually starts with some really good in media res dynamic action as a spy is chased through the streets of the fire nation trying to smuggle out plans to invade the earth kingdom- he's captured, though he manages to get the plans out, and we see it was really a clever ploy by the fire lord to distract everyone from his true intention, eradicating the airbenders, and then he absolutely gruesomely murders the spy by literally burning him to a blackened and charred husk on the spot.

So that's actually great.

But then things proceed chronologically. Aang is informed he is the Avatar and is also informed, verbally, of all of his virtues and the fact that this means he will be the best possible avatar, all of which is annoying. Aang leaves to think about his future in the place where things always make more sense, the sky, which is honestly impressive in its invocation of cliche in such a wholly fantastical world. The airbenders are wiped out viciously, which is a cool scene and it's honestly nice to see some of their resistance because they get undersold as combatants, but at a wholly vague distance Aang is somehow embroiled in a storm, part of a weather system so entirely separate from what's going on back at the temple it's nuts because we have no sense of where or how far he went to 'clear his head, in the only place where things make sense' because that's up, and it seems like it would be mostly just going straight up and not to a wholly separate environment, and also then there's an ocean and whoops, iceberg time.

It would be laborious to take account of the show don't tell violations - we're giving leeway to this because of a compressed timeline, really, and such critique is in itself a little annoying, even if it's true. You're going to have to tell some things. And I think they deserve some kudos for working in a few of the important worldbuilding concepts in kind of interesting ways, even if they're a little 'tell'-ish, like the firelord saying that if it were any other night than that of the comet (which also we don't fuckin' see? Like, we're literally in the realm of the sky and there is absolutely no one going, look at that comet, even coincidentally, as in like the camera just shows it when pointed up at the goddamn sky?) - like it if were any other night, the airbenders might have stood a chance against the invasion. Before he roasts the shit out of the last ones. Proud warrior bullshit - it's good.

And then we proceed to Sokka, Katara, etc etc.

But they've dramatically weakened the narrative impact of learning Aang's past, and paired it with a very dramatic weakening of his character development. There is a horrific punch in the OG as the water tribe folks come to realize what's happened, and try to introduce gently the idea that Aang is unaware of a significantly changed world, one change of which is that his people were brutally eradicated, something he doesn't even believe until he sees the temple for himself, triggering an emotional meltdown (avatar state). This meltdown is not mere grief, but the realization that he wasn't there not because he was 'clearing his head' before taking up his responsibilities, but because he was fleeing their onset entirely, denying his new role and the responsibilities that came with it. He is, in fact, very much part of the reason the airbenders were successfully eradicated if only because of this 'refusal of the call' and thus, as becomes clear over the course of the show, very much responsible for the 100 years of bloodshed that followed (ironically because of his evasion, a very airbender thing to do - flow and evasion are a big part of how that discipline works).

This Aang, however, went out for a stroll and missed some shit, through, really, no fault of his own. Arguably, it's Gyatso's fault, because if he had followed directions and sent Aang away to start training immediately, either when they became aware he was the Avatar or when he was given the final warning to deliver the news, he would have been nowhere near the temple during the invasion and on his way to being capable of combating the fire nation. It's not even really fucking clear why Aang was so far away or his head-clearing mission, as there is no strong emotional impetus for him to flee, because he's just been given the news of his role of Avatar couched within the utmost comfort and without any real indication of the time pressure on him to take up the role except 'you're supposed to leave now, but by now I guess I mean tomorrow because even though I said now we instead show you going to bed at the temple like normal'.

This means we're trying desperately to take seriously a 12-year-old saying 'he should have been there' for the monks who 'were there for him', which is like, sure, believable a child would think that, I guess, eventually, but like, in this world your ass would just have been roasted like everyone else's. Aang didn't refuse the call, he went for a walk. Which is like, totally normal reaction to heavy news. He didn't evade shit. Unlike a kid in the middle of a runaway plot getting stuck in a storm he's now just an idiot who went for a walk in the rain for some reason rather than going 'hmm, looks like bad weather, which I can see clearly and understand because I am literally in the fucking sky, my natural element, I think I shall take my pensive walk through that shit'.

Kids make dumb choices, though, so this isn't really a huge fault of characterization as much as a huge fault of narration. Failure to equip dramatic irony. Because imagine if you got the first scene, dramatic spy escape, but it just ended with an incredibly cliche 'that's just what I wanted to happen' before crisping instead of a full plot reveal, and then we cut to Aang's annoying introduction as is, skip the eradication, straight to iceberg, then Sokka and Katara... All of the sudden there's a lot of tension for the audience in seeing Aang come to grips with having woken up 100 years later. If you know the series already, you know why, but if you don't, you've preserved that mystery of 'what did that seemingly unconnected scene of intrigue and terror mean?' at the start of the show. Even though the characterization of Aang remains weak, the narrative buoys it by maintaining some tension while not necessarily altering the material as shot.

The problem is that then, the revelation of the eradication comes as a flashback, if it comes at all. But then, it was effective in the show to never show it, because it increased the sense of Aang's displacement, his strangeness, as he walks through what are essentially the ruins of the world he knew - ruined because he evaded his responsibilities. Now, that clause wouldn't occur in the LA, instead it would be 'ruined because I took a minute to reflect on life-changing news and have a bad sense of the weather' but then his switch to driving himself towards perhaps mistaken ideas of what he can do to make up for it, an increasingly desperate search for the right way to make things right again, will add a good sense of tension anyway. I mean, you could compare it to something like Demon Slayer, where ultimately it wasn't anything but the normal, day-to-day decision making - and maybe a mistake of staying out a bit too late - that led to the main character being the only survivor of the slaughter of his family, which leads to his quest and provides plenty of raison d'etre on its own.

Instead, LA Aang clings to the comforting words of his mentor that told him he would be a slap-bang Avatar from the get-go, and the audience (or over-twelves at least) understand he bore no real responsibility for being absent for the massacre, and while he continues to misunderstand the state of the world as-is as different from the world he knew, it becomes creepily apparent that his representation of a nostalgic period of 'peace' is being presented as superior to and the appropriate goal of the jaded, traumatized, and abused understanding of those who have lived through war. Instead of being alien, or irresponsible, he's just pure and untouched.

And that's both creepy and a shitty way to set up a story. And I think it isn't intentional, because the characteristics Aang brings to the war-torn world around him are genuinely praised and seen as desirable in the OG show, too, and him losing those, even temporarily, is a terrific point of conflict in that show. Changing the order of events to be less chronological (or, as in the show, demonstrating a change in the state of the world by, in fact, changing the story outline given as prologue before each show [remember them doing that? I had to re-watch before I noticed but they did] talk about show don't tell violations that fuckin' work). would at least increase the sense of Aang's alienation by disassociating his experience from the main timeline, and the perspective of our main characters, thus preserving more of sense of dramatic tension, upping the stakes, emphasizing important moments of growth, etc.

And, I mean, honestly, fucking about with story structure is like the easiest and cheapest way to do this, so it really struck me that the adaptation wasn't using it despite being otherwise forced to cheap condensations of events and storylines. I mean, that's why you're supposed to avoid it, because it's cheap and easy and often done ham-fistedly. So this was a good example of why use of prologue and flashback could honestly improve a story without significant changes to the material or characterization.

They should change those things. It would make it better. But, like, there's just some editing of the storyline that could also make it better. They should also teach the actor playing Aang how to cry on command, but, like, that's a child actor, a little guy, he's improving as he goes and doesn't really deserve to be chided. Maybe they didn't want him to cry, so the director should really be talked to about that because you think there'd be some really snotty tears at incinerated husk of your former friend and mentor and the destruction of your whole culture, but yeah.

Tears wouldn't help if there's no support in the narrative for the drama anyway, so maybe it doesn't matter.

[leighlew3]

Leigh, I'm so sorry to burden you with this, but I've followed you for a few years and witnessed how supportive you've been with SuperCorp fans and the shared disappointment with how the show ended, so I feel safe writing to you.

All the WLW shows getting cancelled fucking sucks. And it hurts. Not because I've necessarily been a big fan of them all, but simply because my voice and story, as a consumer and queer woman, doesn't feel valued.

When I heard Netflix cancelled Warrior Nun, I got angry, and I've been so ever since. It somehow hit different this time, and the cancellation doesn't make sense to me. I've loved the show since its first day on Netflix in 2020. I fell in love with the characters and the actors who portrayed them. I fell in love with the story they were telling and how it was told. Something about Warrior Nun just felt different to me.

Now it's almost 7 in the morning where I live, and I haven't been able to sleep. I was reading a Warrior Nun fic - as one does - and then all the feelings suddenly hit me. Angry turned into sad, and I feel sort of silly for admitting this, but I actually cried. I read somewhere that the brain can't differentiate real people from fictional ones, and I think I'm kind of mourning the loss of the characters 🤷🏻‍♀️ I've never felt this way before and I honestly don't know what to do about it. The whole situation just sucks.

Do you have any advice on how the consumers can be heard by big companies like Netflix and how we can get them to actually value their WLW shows?

Again, I'm sorry to lay this on you, but I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, and I'm just sick and tired of the situation and needed to rant.

(I appreciate you and wish you and your loved ones a happy new year)

It's not a burden at all, I'm glad you feel this is a safe space. 💜

Everything you're saying is relatable and valid as heck. When a show means the world to you, especially if you're part of a marginalized group and taking hit after hit after hit no less... it can be exhausting, infuriating, demoralizing, and so many other complicated emotions when you lose that art that struck you so deeply, that you related to, and that you looked forward to more of to get you through life.

To be honest, I feel like for the most part, fans are doing as best they can as far as efforts to keep shows around. There really are no more tangible specific solutions for fans aside from what's being done, and that's what's frustrating. The endless rewatches, fans doing street team style spreading the word on their own (even spending a lot of money) to make up for lack of official marketing, getting influencers and press behind them, etc. It's actually a sad state of affairs that in recent years, LGBTQ fans have WORK, and FIGHT and PUSH and even PAY constantly to keep a wlw show on the air or to try to get someone to make a ship canon after queerbaiting, or to get more screen time or respectful exploration for a wlw pairing, or to make TPTB see how bad the bury your gays trope is (time and again and again), etc -- rather than just sit back and watch and enjoy.

Fans shouldn't have to work so hard for entertainment, and yet queer fans so often do. And even when people successfully give a show solid numbers, sometimes it's still not enough, and like WN, a well-reviewed, heavily watched series gets the axe anyway.

So it's not on the fans. It's on those at the top, at the end of the day.

Alas, if I had to make some kind of a suggestion... all I can think to say is on the macro, bigger picture level. And this will take some self reflection and increased empathy for some people (sadly a thing some may not be capable of). But... collectively, some people in fandom spaces (small portions, but loud ones) for wlw shows have got to try to stop the silly fanon vs canon wars, and gatekeeping, and jealousies, and creating unnecessary drama and toxicity. There really should be no rival fandoms in wlw spaces at all, unless a show has a fully wlw love triangle or something and people are Team Ship 1 vs Team Ship 2, lol, but even still -- it should be a 'fun' battle, not a toxic war that hurts real people, drives away viewership, etc.

If most people in queer fandoms stuck together, and respected each other's ships even if they don't ship it or watch the show, and generally were supportive of each other as fellow queer fans in their battles against cancellations, in demanding queerbait to be made canon, fighting the BYG trope, etc -- LGBTQ fandoms would have such a collective, expanded power behind these positive efforts. And either way, even if all efforts fail to save a show, etc, at the very least, it would help create a safer, healthier space for queer fans online.

And I know, asking toxic people to not be toxic seems futile, but some people simply need to be reminded that we're all in this together and working together is always going to be ideal when facing off against the real opposition: corporate bias / phobia in the media / industry space.

Ultimately, it's 100% on TPTB at the shows and networks/streamers/studios to do better -- at times creatively, and other times as far as marketing efforts. Sometimes both.

But in the meantime, as far as fandom spaces, some LGBTQ fans gotta try to learn to stick together as much as possible. While there will ALWAYS be toxicity in every fandom from all backgrounds, and fans cannot control each other, I am noticing that as time goes on, and as more wlw fandoms get hurt by networks and streamers, the more angry people are understandably getting, the more reactive and protective of their shows and ships people are getting, and the more then they lash out and try to gatekeep and attack their fellow queer fans and allies, which is... just not it. It's counter productive.

Point is... fans are doing all they can IMO as far as tangible efforts to save (or fix) certain shows. And the rest is on the creatives, the networks and streamers, etc. But in the meantime, at the very least, people shouldn't attack true allies who have proven their support, nor especially attack fellow queer fans who just want to see what a show or ship is about or make positive parallels to their other faves, etc as it could be extra viewers for the show that they're running off.

TLDR: Stay focused on the real problem: corporate media's bias / phobia. Fight them collectively, not each other.

[honeylikesyanderes]

I have a pretty new Yandere blog, how do you get people to interact with and request and enjoy your oc’s?

hello love!

personally (based on my experience), you cant necessarily force anyone to interact with your posts. they usually do it of their own accord if they find your ocs interesting.

so my advice is to make your ocs relatable, likeable and nice. like as a mostly fem person, ik what i like in a partner, so i try to incorporate my type into my characters. i also try to make my characters stand out a bit based on what i like. i have quirks that i find charming in partners irl, and i incorporate into my characters.

obviously your ocs personalities can't appeal to everyone's personal tastes, but even if your ocs appeal to only a certain group of people, its still okay. you can find your niche, and build on it.

another thing i did was to make my reader or y/n gender neutral cause many people like yanderes, and they all have varying sexualities. making more inclusive work makes your content more relatable and consumable. all my ocs are pansexual unless stated otherwise. i also watch the language i use. i'm a dark skinned person, so my cheeks cant ''turn red'' from blushing, but my cheeks can heat up from blushing. inclusive language = more interested readers from different backgrounds.

most importantly, make ocs that you actually like. writing yandere content (just like every other type of content), is something you must enjoy doing. if you're doing it just for the likes and reblogs and stuff, you're gonna get burnt out quick and you're gonna hate writing.

make content you like. make characters you like. cause as long as you like it, you'll enjoy writing.

idk if this helped but you can send another ask if you have more questions!

mwah!

okay good luck with your blog!

byeeeeee!

edit: i forgot to mention that tagging your work appropriately is also very very necessary to attract and retain readers!!