#it's so evil given the actual living situations of the people behind the accounts

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

(iv)

Makoto, consider what transpired last night with Koime and Ludenberg. The only reason you prevailed in that struggle was because you had help. Kuripa Kurafto first, followed by the rest of your friends and classmates. Not only from them, but from every member of the Foundation as well. You may not be aware of it yet, but your relationships with friends and collaboration with those closest to you are what give you your strength—the power of your unwavering optimism comes from THEM.

Your ability to rely on others is your greatest strength, not a weakness. You will always be more capable when you allow others to assist you, regardless of how capable you are on your own.

Right...I know that, obviously, it's just...I forgot about that a little...

Is there anything else you think is worth discussing?

Just one more thing...The big one...

Junko?

Huh? Uh...no, not her. I know I said I was afraid of her, and I am, but I think after our talks just now, I know what it is I need to do to beat her. We're stronger together and all that stuff.

If not her, what then? Who or what could be a bigger problem than her?

...Me.

You keep saying I’ve got to forgive myself, Izuru, but… you didn’t see what I did to them. To my friends. Kuripa and Rantaro risked life and limb to go in that factory with me. Because they knew I couldn't handle it alone. And what did I do?

I took that confidence, trust, and dedication, and I STOMPED ON IT!

I can gush myself up as a saint and a hero all I want, and at the time, I completely ignored what kind of effect my actions had. I just acknowledged that there was a part of me who thought tormenting my closest allies was the right thing to do.

But now? Knowing that there's a part of me that is capable of doing all that to the people I love makes it difficult for me to live with myself.

Hm...I believe that this is a situation when your special talents work against you instead of helping you.

Recall how we recently discussed how your capacity to influence others and offer them Hope during difficult circumstances has led to an uncomfortable sense of accountability for the deeds of others.

Yeah?

This seems comparable to me. Ironically, I think your capacity to face and master Despair has given you a warped perception of yourself. Let's refer to this as "Yin" and "Yang."

If "Yin Makoto" is the Ultimate Hope who powered through the First and Final Killing Games; the TRUE hero...What exactly do you think the "Yang Makoto" is?

He...He passionately wants to be the best because he wants to demonstrate that he is worthy of everyone's trust in him...He wants to bring Hope and eradicate Despair, so that everyone thinks he's cool and no one can see how afraid he is behind the confident smile.

He is so consumed with helping and protecting people that he disregards whether or not they actually WANT his help, or if they NEED a hero...And he's willing to hurt those he loves, physically and emotionally, about if he believes it is in their best interests.

He represents my hubris and pride, the part of myself that wants to be everyone's hero at any cost, even if it means becoming the villain.

Fine. Let's dissect that now. To sum up, "Yang Makoto" aspires to be the best and wants validation for what he does. Does that sound right?

Exactly. Thinking about it now...that makes me no different from Tsumugi Shirogane, does it?

But ignoring Shirogane, and focusing on the desires themself, I'm hard pressed to call such emotions "evil."

Huh?

Every person in the world has the intrinsic drive to improve themself and to feel validated. Humans also have an inbuilt need to look "cool" and keep their anxieties and fears hidden from other people. That does not imply that all people are bad in the world.

Maybe not, but that doesn't make those desires healthy.

Perhaps so, but seeking advice can help treat bad habits quickly. Also, let me tell you this. I can confidently say that a deep desire to save and protect people is the opposite of twisted and evil.

That's not the point! The point is I hurt my friends! I ignored their wants and nearly broke killed them because I believed I could protect-!

I am not talking about the morality of your actions. I'm talking about the morality of the motivations driving your acts.

Ultimate Hope Therapy.

...

*Shortly after his conversation with Kuripa and Mukuro, Makoto strides down the hallway of the Future Foundation to the Branch 7 department. Towards Miaya's office for some consultation.

...

*There's some chairs outside the office door, which Makoto finds locked, so instead, he sits down on one of them, patiently waiting.

...

You're going to be waiting for a while...

BAH!?

*He falls off his chair as Izuru Kamukura suddenly almost teleports next to him.

Ugh!? K-Kamukura!? Wh-What a surprise, I...thought you went home.

No. Akane and Mahiru want to spend a little more time with the others. In fact, we're debating whether I should be brought back to that house or not. It is quite homely there though, so I believe I will.

That's good to hear.

Are you here to visit Gekkogahara? I must warn you. You may be the only person here, but her waiting list is at least a mile long. It might be a while before she gets to you.

Oh...Right, that makes sense actually. A lot of people were traumatized after the things they had to see today. I guess it makes sense that she'd be busy.

She's doing a group session right now. I'm sure she wouldn't mind you joining in.

No, no...This is a lot of personal stuff. I can wait.

...

Naegi...

Yeah?

Would you mind terribly if I was the one you consulted?

Huh? You!?

It may be easy to forget, given my disposition, but I also have Miaya's talents of therapy, consultation, and psychology. Besides, I heard that you'd already sought help from her once before, and clearly, it did not work out.

That was because I was a bad patient, not because she was a bad doctor.

Not saying I'm against the idea...but why ask me that?

I don't know...It just feels like something that a friend would do. If Hajime was here, I'm sure he'd jump at the chance to help you.

...I'm sure he would...Alright, I'll take you up on that then...

——————————————————————

*Izuru escorts Makoto to a private room. He randomly pulls up two chairs and sits them facing one another. They then both sit down, and Makoto stares shiftily at his new therapist.

...

...

...Ok, this feels a little awkward....Where am I even supposed to begin?

You don't need to feel threatened by me. If it comes to it, just imagine me as a life-sized doll that you can vent your frustrations to.

But if you're having trouble getting started, let me suggest we begin with something simple. How are you feeling right now?

Exhausted, and in a lot of pain. I got light treatment for the injuries I suffered in my fights against Koime and Celeste, but I need a follow up appointment to get properly treated. It's just there's a long list of high-priority patients ahead of me.

In fact I'm fairly sure I shouldn't be walking around like this...I'm worried that if I sit or lie down, I'm not gonna be able to get up for the next two days.

I'm sure you'll manage. You're stronger than you think. But if exhaustion is all that's weighing on your mind right now, then I believe that's a good thing.

[phoenixyfriend]

Uncle Ben and Little Luke

AKA we combine several types of time travel for maximum Soft Chaos, let’s go

EDIT NOW THAT I’VE WRITTEN THIS UP: jfc this ended up much angstier than initially intended uhhhhhhhhhh sorry

So a common enough thing I’ve seen in time travel fics is characters getting de-aged when tossed back physically, to neither the age they should be in that time, nor the age they were from the time they left, but whatever is most convenient. This is usually de-aging OT Obi-Wan into his TCW self, for reasons relating to, chiefly, removing the damage of Tatooine absolutely destroying his body alongside PTSD-driven alcoholism, but also because fic writers are horny, and Ewan McGregor playing a late-thirties negotiator is on average more appealing to people than Alec Guinness playing a vaguely feral desert hermit.

So, here’s how it plays out:

We take Luke and Ben from some point in the OT. There are a variety of options depending on how angsty we want it to be. My first instinct is ‘right after Owen and Beru die’ but I want to have that sweet angst where Luke knows that his dad is Vader and that Obi-Wan was trying to convince him to kill his own father without telling him that.

We’ll go with shortly after Bespin, and then they end up significantly before TPM. The Obi-Wan of the timeline proper is, eh, let’s say eighteen. Not really ready to be a knight, but old enough that we don’t have to worry about “if we go save Shmi, do we somehow wipe out Anakin?” which is absolutely a worry. Anakin is a toddler, and is in no place to be evil, on account of being literally two years old. He can’t even explode people with his brain yet.

Now, Ben finds himself mid-thirties, as is traditional. He’s not upset at this, because his joints hurt so much less than they used to! His knees aren’t exactly teenage-perfect, but by the Force are they better than they were in the years before he died! His hair has color! He doesn’t have arthritis! And, goodness, no physical withdrawal symptoms! The psychological aspect is still there, but nonetheless, he’s in much better shape than he last remembers being.

Luke looks like he’s about six. He was recently twenty-two. This is not an upgrade. Ben keeps having to carry him. He can’t see over the counter when they enter a bar for information. He can’t enter the bar in the first place. He’s very annoyed by all of this.

Ben is not annoyed. Ben is having a lot of emotions, actually, but annoyance isn’t one of them. He didn’t get to help raise Luke the way he might have if Anakin hadn’t lost his shit, okay, he sees a small Luke and he wants to hug him and cry.

Luke would like to be able to purchase a speeder part without the lady at the stall asking him if he needs his “dad’s” permission.

Once they figure out when and where they are, they need to decide where and how to leave. There are general shenanigans to gamble their way into enough money to hire a ship. They are in the ass end of nowhere, but definitely not Tatooine. There appears to be a jungle. There appears to be a significant variety of man-eating creatures. There appears to be a temple to the Force of questionable origin. None of this is actually helpful, except for the moment they find a “baby’s first lightsaber” in the temple.

Luke only has one hand and, being a six-year-old, his body is growing too fast for him to bother with getting a wired-in prosthesis the way he could as an adult. He can get a more basic prosthesis, but nothing that attaches to the neurons. He’ll outgrow it too fast.

He’s tiny and he’s not used to doing things with just one hand. He uses the Force to do what one hand can't, and every time someone tries to tell him he's misusing the Force he whaps them with the empty sleeve.

So, you know, they find out what year it is. Ben has a breakdown. Luke is upset that he left behind his friends. Ben admits to him that Leia was his twin. Luke stares in horror because dude, she kissed him, you couldn’t have mentioned this earlier???

Ben points out that Beru and Owen were keeping Luke away from him for nineteen years, and then they had about three days of awkward travel to find Leia in the first place, and then Ben died. He didn’t have a whole lot of time to figure out how to tell him.

(This sparks an argument that lasts several days. All onlookers assume that Ben’s son is throwing a tantrum. He doesn’t correct them, even though this is a very valid reason to be upset, because the truth is much harder to explain.)

Sooooo they travel. Mostly, Ben plays Sabacc, cleans house, and pays their way towards Coruscant. Luke still really wants to learn to be a Proper Jedi, even though Ben is pretty sure that Luke would have... a lot of difference of opinion with the Temple, but sure. Coruscant. They can at least stop by, and see Qui-Gon, and Mace, and Quinlan, and Bant, and everyone else that’s still alive and not tragically deceased in the horror following the start of the Clone Wars and then the birth of the Empire, and Ben can have a nice sob over all his dead friends being alive again.

Ben is only barely holding it together while Luke is in the room with him at any given point. But it’s fine! It’s fine. He’s fine. All of his loved ones have come back to life! It’s great! HE’S FINE.

He is not fine.

Luke is also grieving all the people who haven’t been born yet, but he’s... significantly more okay than Ben is.

The closer they get to the Core, the more often people just assume Ben is Luke’s father, and then look shocked and uncomfortable when Luke flatly calls him by his name, and they just... compromise. This is the point at which Luke starts calling him “Uncle Ben.”

Ben cries in his bunk later that night. Luke overhears it and wonders how the HELL Ben is more unstable now, when there’s a chance to fix things and no Vader or Empire trying to kill or capture both of them, and all his friends are alive.

(Luke will later learn a lot about PTSD and realize this is actually a fairly normal situation, to process significant events and emotions only after gaining safety or catharsis.)

(Twenty years on a ball of sand with an alcohol addiction and debilitating fear of the man you raised as your own brother is not, in fact, safe or cathartic.)

At any rate, they’ve settled into that pattern by the time they reach the Inner Rim. The Inner Rim is the part of the galaxy at which they’ve collected enough money (and mental stability) to travel a little better, and to take a few more risks.

Risks like “manipulate people with those baby blues.”

Ben tells Luke that he’s a menace, after he pouts so cutely that he gets a free scarf added on to a purchase that Ben makes. Luke responds that Ben has no room to talk, since he flirted a free breakfast out of that one inn owner.

Also, Luke is currently physically six. That is objectively a situation that sucks. He deserves to use it for all it’s worth if he’s stuck like this.

“You know, if you keep wearing all-black and looking longingly at the velvet cape and Space Chanel boots, the temple is going to worry that you’re a darksider.”

“Uncle Ben... you told me, yesterday, that I sparkle so brightly in the Force that it’s almost blinding.”

“Yes, but the gloves--”

They don’t agree on this, but Ben relents. He does actually understand good fashion, unfortunately, and he’s not unaware of how much Leia taught Luke about such things.

Luke’s about forty years ahead of the curve, of course, but Skywalkers are prone to such things. It’s usually in regards to technology, granted, but...

They get to Coruscant. Ben is very obviously a Jedi. He knows all the right words and walks like a Soresu master and feels warm and comforting in the Force. They let him in with minimal questions. They note down “my first padawan left the order to have a child, but died shortly after; I consider Luke here to be my nephew, and have raised him as such,” and move on.

Luke is vaguely annoyed because he already had an uncle (and aunt) that raised him, but he admits that a person can have more than one uncle. He can live with this. Ben was more family to Anakin than Owen was, in some ways, so it’s kind of true. Luke is even working on feeling more childish affection for Ben instead of the complicated mess of emotions that come from being lied to about some very large and important subjects, and then seeing the person saying those lies have regular emotional breakdowns due to something as small as Luke saying he likes the curve of the hull on that freighter.

(Apparently he sounds just like his father did as a child. This is almost heartwarming.)

The thing is! The thing. The thing is, they almost make it to the Halls of Healing to get looked over for weird viruses, or Outer Rim Parasites, or whatever the hells needs to be happening. They almost make it without Ben having a flashback to dead younglings or brainwashed troopers or the declaration of a Sith Empire. They almost make it without incident.

Then Ben sees Qui-Gon, and freezes, and does not move again.

Luke cannot get him to restart.

People are staring.

They haven’t even made it to Medical, Uncle Ben, come on.

Young, local Obi-Wan comes over and asks if there’s something he can do to help. Or maybe this “Ben” knows Qui-Gon? Master Jinn doesn’t recognize Ben, but maybe Luke knows more?

Luke does know more, but what Luke actually says is “he probably needs a mind healer.”

(Ben will not appreciate this.)

(Ben is unfortunately standing in the middle of the hallway and completely unresponsive, and is unable to argue with this assertion.)

(Ben is pretty much proving this assertion entirely correct, actually.)

Obi-Wan is helpful, if a little bitchy in the manner of most late-teens individuals, and offers to help get Uncle Ben down to the Halls of Healing. It involves Obi-Wan gently pushing on Ben’s shoulders, and Qui-Gon offering to carry Luke so he can be in Ben’s sights (because Ben is a Mystery, and Qui-Gon is quite fond of those, so he wants to stay involved). Ben kind of just... shuffles on down.

There are medical tests. They ask about how Luke lost his hand. He refuses to talk about it. They ask how Ben got all his scars. Luke says he doesn’t know. They ask if he knows why Ben looks like he’s been through a war. Luke says it’s because he probably was.

They check for foreign viruses. They find evidence of thus-far-unpatented vaccinations. They ask Luke if he knows what he’s vaccinated for.

“How would I know? I’m six.”

They agree that this is a good excuse.

(It is not. He’s lying. They do not know this.)

They do some more tests. They find a lot of questionable medical bullshit in Ben’s body. Most of this is from the clone wars, but they don’t know this. Someone realizes they haven’t gotten a ping back from the Shadow Network regarding “do we have permission to pull the medical file of a Jedi that isn’t in the normal database? We’re assuming you know who he is, since we don’t.”

The Shadow Network does not know who Ben is.

The healers, of course, go “huh, that’s weird, but maybe the name he gave his nephew was fake. We can’t exactly ask ‘Ben’ for more details right now. We already had to sedate him. Let’s check the DNA!”

The DNA pulls up as Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The padawan who brought this guy in two hours ago.

“Huh, that’s weird. Let’s call in Kenobi and ask if he knows what’s going on.”

Obi-Wan absolutely does not know what’s going on.

They ask Luke.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he says, lying through his teeth and not even pretending otherwise.

“You’re not a very good liar,” teenage Obi-Wan tells him.

“I’m not trying to be,” Luke says. “Can you get Master Yoda? I feel like we’re going to need him.”

They normally wouldn’t get Yoda on the request of a six-year-old, but they also normally don’t have a catatonic thirty-something Jedi who looks like he’s been through a war popping up in the medical database as the pimply teenage padawan that broke his pinky trying to do a Badass Ataru Flip last week.

Or... whatever Luke i... is... oh dear.

“Young one,” Qui-Gon asks, while people whisper-shout behind him, not realizing he’s cutting the Correlian Knot and just asking the kid himself. “Do you know why your midichlorian count is so high? It’s almost unheard of.”

“Uncle Ben said my dad was the Chosen One,” Luke says, because he is capable of being a little shit and is actually really eager to let Ben deal with some of the fallout. He feels for the man, really, but he’s also tired of being the one to field every single question.

Also, the expressions that pass on Qui-Gon’s face are hilarious.

(Luke may or may not be more affected by his six-year-old brain than he would like to admit.)

“Thank you,” Qui-Gon says, sounding more than a little strangled about it.

It takes another three hours for Ben to wake up.

He listens to the questions. He hears what they say his ‘nephew’ said. He looks at Luke.

“Is this revenge for not telling you about Leia?”

“It’s not revenge,” Luke does not lie. “I just don’t know how to explain it.”

“It’s pretty easy to explain.”

“It’s not my secret.”

“This is revenge for the Leia thing.”

“No,” Luke says. “Revenge for the Leia thing was when I ate a live frog in front of you.”

This is the point at which someone interrupts and points out that they appear to be stalling.

“Oh, he is,” Luke tells them. He gestures at Ben. “I can’t tell you more, because it’s more his story than mine.”

“I’m afraid, Master, that I am very likely to have an emotional breakdown if I allow myself to consider the reality of this situation for longer than the fraction of a second I already have,” Ben reports, full of false cheer. “Suffice to say, I am far from stable and have only held out this far for Luke’s sake.”

“Can you explain why you have my DNA?” Obi-Wan asks, as the person who’s most concerningly involved in this situation.

“You can,” Ben says, smiling like there is absolutely nothing wrong in the slightest, ever. “I’m you, from the future. I actually died and spent a few years dead before coming back. I’m not sure why I’m younger than I was when I died, but I appreciate being able to put on my shoes without my knees attempting to mutiny.”

“He needs a mind healer,” Luke reiterates, in case the strained grin hasn’t made it clear. “So do I, but not as much.”

“I have felt literally every person in this Temple save for Luke and Yoda die,” Ben reports, looking a shade more manic than a few seconds earlier. “It’s very overwhelming to feel you all being alive again. I may be approaching a mental breakdown, and I’ve been rather strictly advised against using alcohol to treat my traumas again.”

Luke kicks him in the thigh. It’s not a very hard kick, because he is very small, and he does actually like Ben. “I’m not letting you turn into an old drunk again.”

After several seconds of silence, a healer quietly suggests that everyone clear the room, and asks if someone could fetch Master Yoda as the youngling requested.

(THIS IS ALMOST THREE THOUSAND WORDS. I started it less than two hours ago. Why am I like this.)

[sepublic]

            Admittedly I’m still accounting for the Fallen, who is SUPPOSED to be a demonized figure in Cybertronian mythos, yet is honored by Megatron and also known as the First Decepticon in the films, somehow. But just briefly ignoring that (and accounting for my ability to change things), let me get into the history behind the word ‘Decepticon’.

         I’ve discussed before that Cybertronians value deception as a virtue, given their whole gimmick of transforming into vehicles and being able to impersonate those of other societies as well. Liege Maximo isn’t regarded as evil (this doesn’t mean he isn’t, though), he’s seen as a classic trickster hero like Anansi or Maui, or Bugs Bunny. Admittedly, I’m half-tempted to give the prestige of First Decepticon to Maximo, or even combine his AND Megatronus’ characters. But anyhow…

         Some Cybertronians are tasked with infiltrating planets in disguise, acting as scouts to set up a full-scale invasion, and leading the first assault on the front lines. As such, they’re praised as Decepticons for embodying this trickster virtue, they’re spies and honored for it. So the name wasn’t associated with the Anti-Functionist rebellion (which I need a proper name for), though there were definitely some Decepticons in the group. Most were off-world, though many were called back to defend Cybertron against the outlaws, only to join them instead. Others didn’t, having a disconnect from the situation on Cybertron that hindered sympathy for the rebellion.

         Viva la revolution, we have a brief era of relative peace and contentment, until some people point out that. Hey. What about the worlds we’re colonizing? Isn’t that kind of immoral…? Like if we’re going to apply this logic of liberty and freedom to ourselves, shouldn’t we do the same to others? Guys? GUYS?

         And this led to a new political movement, known as the Autobots. And as you all know, Megatron felt personally under attack, saw the criticisms of the Decepticons as an assault towards Cybertron itself, due to what would happen if the Decepticons couldn’t continue their lucrative operations. So while detractors declared themselves Autobots, Megatron proudly named himself “Pro-Decepticon”, and encouraged many others to do the same.

         As tensions rose, Megatron saw it necessary to stoke the flames of Decepticon pride and propaganda. In an infamous speech, he eventually declared “We are ALL Decepticons!” to express solidarity with those who risked their lives on the front lines, in alien worlds, to deceive the lesser organics and bring back Energon for their home. All who worked for Cybertron, fought for it, were Decepticons in his eyes; He said it not to water down the name (as some Pro-Decepticons admittedly argued it did), but to instead consecrate it as a fundamental aspect of everyday life.

         Megatron wanted to NORMALIZE the Decepticon practice, when admittedly, there wasn’t always that extreme patriotic fervor for colonization; Most agreed it was better to harvest planets without life, and that genocide was a necessary evil. Still necessary, but also still evil! It wasn’t as ‘normal’ back then as modern Decepticons insist, is what I’m saying.

         And so Pro-Decepticon evolved into just Decepticon, because in the end, wasn’t that what they were ALL fighting for? The ‘right’ for Cybertron to infiltrate other civilizations in disguise, to conquer and harvest them? So in a sense, they were all Decepticons, contributing to the larger cause of colonization, supporting it. They needn’t necessarily do the actual deception itself, and so the term became less about the specific act of impersonation, and moreso the end goal of imperialism.

         Hence, why Megatron and his faction are known as Decepticons. It’s an intriguing linguistic history, and for those who bother to remember it, they see being assigned to scout a new world as a deep honor, because they truly live up to the original definition of the name. They all call themselves Decepticons because Decepticons are heroes in their eyes, and they all want to be one. They are common Cybertronians working to uphold their empire, and they share that similarity with them, more than they do these alien slimes!

        (So that’s the origin of the name and its evolution. Now I just need to discuss the insignia that’s often synonymous and associated with it, and factor in how the Fallen fits into this, because he has to.)

         Intriguingly, Cybertronian attitudes towards deception have also begun to evolve; Because as Autobots begin to have a distaste for the Decepticon occupation and ideology, so too they begin to dislike the practices that support it...

[suratan-zir]

Just some of my unrequested thoughts in bad English about doing business with Russia. Long post.

I know that over time, Ukraine will be perceived by many people from other countries as an inconvenience. Even now, with half-assed sanctions imposed on Russia, gas and oil prices are rising. If a full embargo is imposed, prices will skyrocket. And it's easy to be "for all good and against all evil" when it doesn't require you to actually pay a real price for it. If you are one of those amazing people who is willing to pay that price no matter what, I am eternally grateful to you. However, I know there will be many people who aren't ready. And the longer it goes, the more people will be angry with this whole situation.

I know what it's like to be poor, to count every penny. Both me and my husband came from poor families, and only the last couple of years we have a decent income. At some point, we were so out of money that instead of sugar in our tea, we had to use old hard candies "Барбарис" found in the depths of the kitchen cabinet. Because we couldn't afford to buy sugar. We sometimes laugh about it now.

Only when you know the true value of money in a human's life can you really understand that there are still other things that are worth much more. But it is still your choice - to support cutting off all trade with Russia, or to put your own and your family's well-being above the lives of some foreigners from Eastern Europe. Either way, I don't blame you.

I blame European and American leaders almost as much as I blame Russia. Not even because they still didn't close the sky or given us fighter jets. Year after year, they turned a blind eye to the crimes committed by Russia, by Putin's regime. Chechnya, Moldova, Georgia… Nothing was done. It was too convenient to trade with Russia. After all, the troops of modern Russia didn't shell Berlin or London. Russian oligarchs invested billions and billions of dollars in the UN ans US economy, despite powerful anti-Western propaganda in Russia itself. So now it's funny to watch how they arrest those yachts and bank accounts of Putin's henchmen as if they just now found out about it all.

Putin realized that he remains unpunished for his crimes. Then he annexed Crimea and turned part of eastern Ukraine in a warzone with some lame excuses about infringement of the Russian-speaking population. Nobody in their right mind bought it, yet Russia still remained unpunished. Thousand of lives taken and hundreds of thousand of people who lost their home and everything they had. People had to flee from their homeland, leaving behind all their belongings. Others couldn't flee and were forced to live under Russian occupation, in a war zone, without any human rights.

Yet for the world this wasn't enough to cut ties with Russia. Putin punished Ukraine for our pro-Western, pro-European choice, for our desire for freedom and independense. Europe and US were "deeply concerned." Some useless sanctions were introduced, but Putin clearly won more that he lost.

His men happily continued committing war crimes in Syria and Ukraine, his propaganda continued dehumanizing certain population groups. Ukrainians = khokhols worthy of elimination or at least training on how to be a proper russian. LGBTQ = sick people who have to be ashamed of their very existence, officially illegal, in some Russian regions (like Chechnya) they are kidnapped, tortured and killed on a regular basis.

The opposition and the free press completely wiped out. And I'm not talking about Navalny now. Anna Politkovskaya and Boris Nemtsov are the most famous examples, but there are many more.

The West kept fueling his killing and propaganda machine with cash. Putin's war games and ass-licking "journalists" cost HUGE money. The money he makes by selling Russian natural resources to the west. And the west gladly buys it. Why bother actively switching to renewable energy sources, why spend so much money on it when you can just buy everything from the fascist Russian regime without any problems? Besides, Russia is a pretty good export market. Why not export weapons to a country that is actively invading other sovereign states? Sounds like a damn good deal!

The world hand-fed this monster that is Russia we see today. Not their mentality, of course, it has been that way for centuries. But they couldn't afford to act on it if they didn't have the money for that. Everything could have been different not only for Ukraine, but also for Russia. If only Russians were forced to face the consequences of their imperialist actions back in the USSR days, maybe now they would live a happy rich life on their own land without stealing it from others.

I don't know what to conclude here. I don't know why the world needs to see the deepest depths of horror inflicted on my people in order to do something. Humanity really fucked up.

[robininthelabyrinth]

How about a canon divergence where wen qing doesn't bump into wwx but instead bumps into nhs and nmj. Would it be a tragedy or a fixit? Would nhs temper nmj's hatred for wens? Would nmj act honorably at seeing the old men and women and children doing hard labor or would he only see the clan he hates?

1

It was Nie Huaisang’s fault, probably. Someone tripped over someone else’s feet, and then he apologized and she apologized and then they both apologized, and then there was the whole “you go first, no you go first” dance and anyway eventually Nie Mingjue stormed over to yell at his younger brother for wasting time. He took one look at the ash-faced girl, caught her by the shoulder and said, “Aren’t you that Wen Qing? I used to see you at discussion conferences – what are you doing here?”

The whites of her eyes showed in her terror, and he scowled fiercely. “I don’t slay unarmed women or children outside of combat,” he said. “The question was literal – what are you doing here? The Jin sect said they resettled the remnants of the sects somewhere they wouldn’t make trouble.”

Wen Qing pressed her lips together, then couldn’t help herself and snarled, “If you call hard labor camps where everyone dies ‘resettled’ – they took away my baby brother! They took me to another city, I didn’t want to leave him, but I didn’t have a choice and when I returned…my brother’s as soft as yours – they’re going to kill him!”

Nie Mingjue’s scowl deepened, and his eyes flickered over to Nie Huaisang, the words ‘hard labor’ clearly ringing through his mind and struggling with his deep and abiding hatred for the Wen sect, the memories of Nie Huaisang being snatched away from him and sent to an indoctrination camp to be used as live bait. The very reminder of it made his face black in anger. 

Nie Huaisang looked between the two of them and covered his face with a fan. “Dage,” he said, and his voice helped break through the haze of anger. “Maybe we should – check?”

It’s not like we trust the Jins, given the way they want to be the next Wens, he meant, and maybe there’s a little bit of Isn’t our sect’s guiding principle to stamp out evil wherever it’s encountered, human or not?

2

“Sect Leader Nie, I demand an explanation!” Jin Guangshan shouted. “You cannot barge into my territory, threaten my sect’s disciples, take away the prisoners won at war –”

“I’m not so blind as to tell the difference between captivity and torture unto death,” Nie Mingjue snarled in return, not even slightly moved. “Not only did I take the prisoners from Qiongqi Path, I demand you turn over every other one you have, no matter where –”

“Those were legitimately captured prisoners of war! We took them instead of spoils –”

“If the allocation of every penny matters so much to you, you may have the spoils seized by my Nie sect in exchange,” Nie Mingjue said, flicking his sleeve disdainfully. It couldn’t be more obvious what his implication was: that the Jin sect, despite all its riches, cared more for money than for honor.

Jin Guangshan’s eyes narrowed. “It’s most unlike you to get up in arms defending Wens, Sect Leader Nie; wasn’t it just yesterday that you called them all Wen-dogs and sought their utter destruction?”

Nie Mingjue sneered at him, but he continued, oily smile spreading on his face like a stain, “It couldn’t be that Sect Leader Nie has changed his implacable mind so quickly – perhaps it is the pressure of war on a man so young…you should take care for your health, make sure you’re not being unduly confused. People in your family die so very young, after all.”

“Enough nonsense,” Nie Mingjue said, eyes very nearly red in anger. “If my mind is so unclear, why did you choose to follow me during battle? When Wen Ruohan threatened, you dithered and delayed, and when there was no other choice but war, my blade was strong enough for you to hide behind, but when we have peace you rush to the front to claim a position that shouldn’t even exist – no one should be Chief Cultivator, Sect Leader Jin, no sect placing themselves and their own interests above another’s! But if the alternative is you, perhaps I should strive for it after all!”

3

“Is your brother actually going to try to be Chief Cultivator?” Wen Ning asked Nie Huaisang shyly; he was the only Wen currently inside the Unclean Realm, on account of needing heal his injuries. The remainder were all living in a small valley not far away where Nie sect cultivators kept a close watch.

Nie Mingjue hated injustice above all else, even Wens, but only by the smallest margin; in their new homes they were given food and water and medicine, but not freedom. Too many cultivators, male or female, had hidden themselves among the helpless to launch sneak attacks and assassinations; even children could carry a knife and swear to avenge their fallen parents.

Those like Wen Qing were watched most of all – she led one of the Supervision Offices that everyone had so hated, and she did nothing to stop them; she was indifferent to evil, and to Nie Mingjue that was very nearly the same as evil. It was only that the war had been officially ended that held back his hand; if they had still been at war, he would have executed her without so much as blinking an eye.

Still, Wen Qing had told Wen Ning that she was pleased with their current situation. A true prisoner of war camp, however strict, meant that they would be kept safe from all those who sought personal revenge, and Wen Ning couldn’t help but agree that the trade was worthwhile. The Jin had all but sold opportunities to those who wanted to get in a kick at their fallen bodies, just to say they’d been involved in the Sunshot Campaign; the Nie sect had those types of people, too, glaring and hateful, but the Sect Leader’s military discipline made them too afraid to do anything more than raise angry voices – and what were angry voices, compared to angry hands?

After all, if they’d come even a few shichen later – if Nie Mingjue hadn’t already known where the Wens were being kept, due to his position as sect leader, and been able to fly there on his sword at full speed – it would have been too late for him. Wen Ning didn’t even recall exactly what had happened, but two of them had been beating him and the chief inspector hadn’t stopped them, only told them to be sure to throw his body over the cliff when they were done with him…

“No, of course not,” Nie Huaisang said, pretending to be busy by his side. He had no skill at medicine, but it was a way to spend his time that his brother approved of and wouldn’t interrupt, so he came as often as he could. “He hates the idea, thinks it’s rotten to the core – like we’re all a bunch of sheep, needing a shepherd. No, he’s just saying it to annoy and distract Jin Guangshan. Besides, imagine if they made the position inheritable; that would make me the next one, and wouldn’t that be terrible for everyone?”

4

“The children young enough not to remember may join the Nie sect as guest disciples, if they wish,” Nie Mingjue said, his tone brooking no argument. “The adults will remain as they are.”

Wen Qing crossed her arms. “There aren’t many cultivators left among us, and it’s fine for all of those - they’d be happy to take up a life farming,” she said. “But those of us who are already on the path of cultivation should not be stymied –”

“You mean your brother, Wen Ning.” Nie Mingjue had some natural sympathy for her position, due to having his own weak-willed younger brother, but not very much. “No. In the end, he’s a Wen; we will not raise snakes to bite us later.”

“What wrong can you put on my brother’s shoulders beyond his surname?” she challenged. “What evil does he have?”

“Indifference to evil –”

“He was hardly indifferent!” she snapped, pushed beyond her limits. “I told him to do nothing, me, and yet he wouldn’t listen, time and time again. He kept Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng hidden after the destruction of the Lotus Pier, smuggled the latter out, even carried him out on his own back, and if that wasn’t enough, he collected what he could of the Jiang masters’ ashes for them – later, when Wei Wuxian asked me for help, he even –!”

She suddenly seemed to realize she’d said too much and shut her mouth.

Nie Mingjue looked at her thoughtfully. “You’ve already said this much,” he said. “There’s no point in stopping now. What did Wei Wuxian ask you to do?”

5

“Shh, don’t tell anyone I’m here,” Nie Huaisang said, gesturing for Wen Ning to join him in the closet where he was hiding.

Wen Ning, still a little uncomfortable in his new Nie robes, confusedly obeyed, even though he was still sweating from saber practice – he’d had to start over, alongside the children, but to his surprise he’d found that the straightforward brutality of the saber suited some secret resentful part hidden inside of him that wanted nothing more than to chop up everything he saw. “W-what’s going on? Why are we h-hiding? We’re in the Unclean Realm. What can harm us here?”

“Feelings,” Nie Huaisang said. “They’re the worst. My poor brother has to sit out there and listen to it directly, too – the burdens of being Sect Leader. I’m glad it’s not me.”

Wen Ning blinked. “Oh,” he said. “Are Wei-gongzi and Jiang-gongzi still fighting?”

“No, they’ve moved on to crying.”

“They were crying while they were fighting.”

“Yes, well, now they’ve moved to the just crying stage. There’s been lots of hugging, too; they stop for half a breath and then set each other off again, it’s awful. Can’t they be all manly and stoic like we Nie?”

Wen Ning gave Nie Huaisang a doubtful look.

“Well, me excluded, of course,” Nie Huaisang said with a laugh and a wave of his hand. “And anyway, even I only like crying when it’s going to get me something. Or out of something!”

Wen Ning suddenly felt as if he understood much more about his new Sect Leader’s endless frustrations with his younger brother. “But why are you hiding?” he asked.  

“I have a reputation of avoiding work to maintain,” Nie Huaisang said, totally puzzlingly, but a few moments later there was a knock at the closet door.

“Huaisang, I know you’re in there. Get out of there and have an emergency,” Sect Leader Nie said. “Anything, as long as it requires my personal attention, and have it happen as soon as their sister, the young madam Jin, arrives – that’ll just set them all off again, especially as she’s pregnant.” A pause. “Do you think I can order Wen Qing to handle this as part of the terms of her parole?”

[theshaofpride]

“Wrathion is a good character who needs to be given more autonomy and individual appreciation by the fandom” and “Wranduin is a good, interesting, and meaningful ship” are two thoughts that can and should coexist.

I often get tired of people reducing Wrathion to Anduin’s friend/boyfriend/ex when he has such a rich, complex story of his own. When I try to bring this up, however, the people who tend to join in are those who dislike Wranduin and are looking for a reason to complain about it, which couldn’t be further from the truth for me.

Wranduin is easily one of the best ships in the WoW fandom. They complement each other and bring out the strengths and weaknesses in each other in interesting ways. Wranduin makes for a lot of interesting scenarios—with Varian or Genn, with the House of Nobles, with the Wyrmrest Accord—that lead to great storytelling. It would enrich the WoW story a lot were it made canon, and even though it probably won’t be, artists and fanfic authors continue to produce amazing content for the ship.

But all of that is enriched by treating Wrathion as his own character with his own wants, desires, needs, interests, and goals. Wrathion’s story has tragic beginnings and deals with the pressures he is forced to take on from birth. It’s an outsider’s story about making a name for one’s self beyond the shackles of their legacy. It’s about what happens when someone lacks meaningful support and turns to the wrong people in times of need, and then has to deal with the consequences of that turn later. 

It’s unique as one of the few Warcraft stories where a redemption arc truly makes sense and feels earned, as Wrathion was young when he made his mistakes and  did them out of concern for the fate of the planet. He was plagued by nightmares and forced into lonely leadership position without family or other role models who could guide him, and only took a co-conspirator role, not undertaking any particularly violent actions himself. He’s a prime candidate for meaningful growth, and between the journal in 8.2.5 and his role in 8.3 he seems to be on his way. 

Beyond that, he’s a fun, unique character with a lot of intrigue that makes every scene with him memorable. The tension between the composed, almost arrogant face he puts on and the fears and insecurities rumbling beneath the surface gives him a depth rarely seen in WoW characters. He’s relatable. He screws up, he makes mistakes, he tries again. He puts up a front of composure but unlike most other characters, we actually get to see behind that front, too. From when he gets tested by the Celestials to his outburst at the end of MoP, to his shock at being called a friend by Anduin in War Crimes, then recently to the pain in his voice when he warns champions away from the Keep in the nightmare. Wrathion is one of the few characters we see in vulnerable situations that are actually relatable and intimate. One of the only other characters into who’s life we are given such glimpses is Anduin Wrynn. 

I think, unfortunately, there is a tendency to see Wrathion as a stepping stone in Anduin’s story or a side piece to Anduin’s character, but that misses the main thing that makes these two characters and their interactions so great. From their relatability to the way they complement and play off of each other, both of them are great characters on their own, but even stronger together. 

They’re alike in so many ways. Responsibilities thrust on them from an early age, focused on big ideals and curious about new possibilities. They were both manipulated by black dragons (Fahrad and Onyxia) when they were younger, and they both live in the shadow of expectations cast on them by their heritage. In Wrathion’s case, it’s about stepping out of that shadow and recasting it in a different direction. For Anduin, it’s about finding a way to measure up to that shadow while still being his authentic self.

Because of that, they also aren’t simply “opposites attract.” They are different in many ways, but their differences play out as two sides of the same coin. They are both young nobles at the same place in their lives struggling to do the right thing, living by their ideals, navigating between who they are and who people think they should be. 

Anduin longs for freedom, while Wrathion’s life lacks support and stability. Anduin is surrounded by people who think highly of the image they have of him in their mind, while people’s notion of Wrathion is shaped by suspicion. Yet their paths cross, and they both offer the other something he desperately needs. Anduin gets to know Wrathion as a person, and, in turn, Wrathion gives Anduin a glimpse at the normalcy he’s rarely afforded. Wrathion freely gives his opinions about Anduin’s ideals, addresses him by his first name, and offers to take him away from the court on adventures. Anduin, in turn, stops seeing Wrathion as a Black Dragon and instead sees him as Wrathion, judging him according to his own deeds and letting his opinion of him be shaped by those alone. 

But it also isn’t easy, and their interactions are better because of it. The reading of Anduin as a flawless character who can’t do any wrong and Wrathion as “shady” or “evil” misses much of this nuance. 

When Anduin comes to the Tavern he is struggling with his feelings about Wrathion, in ways we rarely see Anduin struggle. Anduin, who has advocated for peace between the Alliance and the Horde, who saved Moira’s life after the coup in Ironforge, finally meets someone so closely related to his own life and traumatic experiences that it’s, at first, hard to see past it. He regards Wrathion with extreme suspicion until he doesn’t, until the day he comes to see him as an individual. When Wrathion fucks up at the trial, then, Anduin doesn’t fall back on Wrathion being a black dragon to explain it like other characters do, but holds him accountable as a person, as Wrathion. 

Wrathion, moreover, cherishes those aspects of Anduin that make him uniquely Anduin, not the King of Stormwind or some other title that has been thrust upon him. He likes Anduin for Anduin’s sake, and even though he worries over what he perceives as Anduin’s naivety in MoP, it’s clear in BFA his worries come with an appreciation of who he is and why he is personally important. As he writes in his journal, “It is no easy task to stand alone against the darkness so that others may bask in the light,” yet this is what Wrathion does when he comes forward to protect Anduin from N’Zoth in 8.3, choosing to put himself at great risk to allow Anduin to carry on. The idea of Anduin becoming corrupted is so painful for him at the personal level, but likely also because he realizes what it would mean for Azeroth if one of the strongest champions of the Light were to succumb to the Void. 

All of this is to say Wrathion’s and Anduin’s stories can be read as entangled and complementary without minimizing or reducing the importance of either character. Both characters add greater depth to the other because they are unique, nuanced, burdened, and flawed, because they feel like real people and their interactions are organic and genuine. Understanding and appreciating both of them makes the moments they are together and other imagined moments of them interacting all the more powerful.          

[ordinaryschmuck]

Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-4th Place

To anyone who plans on making a reboot of their favorite show in the future, you might want to take notes on this next pick. Because if you ask me, this next series that I'm going to talk about is the best example of how to do a reboot properly.

#4-Ducktales (2017-2021)

The Plot: Scrooge McDuck is the richest duck in the world, who made it big by also being one of the greatest adventurers of all time...ten years ago. Sadly, after an unfortunate accident with the family, Scrooge is forced to live the life of a normal businessman-er-duck. Up until Donald Duck asks Scrooge to watch over his nephews: Huey, Dewey, and Louie. What starts off as a single day of babysitting soon turns into a life of adventure as Scrooge gets back into the adventuring spirit to show his new family what the world really has to offer.

Now I want to make one thing clear: As of the moment of me writing this review, I have seen a total of zero episodes of the original Ducktales. That being said, despite my limited knowledge of the series, I still think it’s fair of me to point out how this is hands down the best reboot as of late (and I’ll explain more as to why that is later). And besides, from what I’ve heard from fans who have watched the original, Ducktales (2017) is a pretty faithful adaptation of the beloved franchise. The reason is that I believe this show remembers the two most important rules of making a reboot.

The first rule of a reboot is to try something new while still being faithful to the source material. Doing something like that is simple as a writer just needs to keep what the fans love and change what they hated. And trust me when I say that the writers of Ducktales (2017) knows how to do just that. For the most part, the show is about a family going on crazy globe-trotting adventures while still learning that family is the best adventure of all, much like the original. As for the characters, most of them keep their fun personalities. Scrooge is still a stingy miser with the heart for adventure, Launchpad is still the lovable idiot who can’t fly a plane, and Donald Duck still remains the one who gets stuck with all the bad luck. Then some characters have their personalities/roles revamped into something that improves upon the original. The best example is Fenton, who is still the wannabe superhero but is now a scientist in this show, wherein the old one was just Scrooge’s accountant. This way, both the hero and the man-DUCK-who’s behind the mask are equally capable of saving the day. There’s also Mrs. Beakley, who was originally a nanny that nagged Scrooge’s ear off for putting the kids in danger. In the reboot, she’s treated more as the anchor of reality to the more oddball characters, who also used to be a kick-butt super spy in her younger years. It is still the same role, but a different interpretation.

Now, some characters receive grand changes to their original personalities. But from what I’ve heard, those changes are made for the better. And there are no characters that need it more than the children. More specifically, Huey, Dewey, and Louie. This show does something that I’m eternally grateful for, and that’s giving each of these three their own distinct personalities and quirks. For years I couldn’t for the life of me tell the triplets apart. They had the same design, the same voice, the same personality, and the only difference people had to go off of are their different colors (which really didn’t do much to help). Here, they have different designs, voices, and now defining character traits for each of them. Huey is the smart and responsible boy scout, Dewey is the annoying attention seeker, and Louie is the best character in the entire show, and I WILL FREAKING FIGHT YOU ON THAT! And let us not forget the most appreciated change: Webby. From what I’ve heard, fans hated the original Webby, as she was nothing more than just the stereotypical girl of the group. Here, she’s given an actual personality and a fun one to boot. Webby is the ecstatic thrill-seeking adventurer who is skilled in combat training (thanks to her grandma) and is (of course) a socially awkward girl who wants to make friends. Like I said, this show took the idea that the fans hated and changed it into something that they’ll love. Which makes sense why the writers mastered this because they themselves are real fans of the show.

It is clear how much the writers are fans of the Ducktales franchise as they filled Ducktales (2017) with many references. And not just references to the original series but also references to the classic comics by Carl Barks and even the NES video game from the 1980s (seriously, this show will make you feel things about the “Moon Theme” you wouldn’t think was possible!). Even the show’s animation seems to be a homage to both the cartoon and comics. Not only do the characters and backgrounds have a more comic book style to them, but the characters also work on a mix of realistic and cartoony logic. And let me just say, it is refreshing to see characters in a Disney show have cartoon logic to them since Wander Over Yonder got canceled. And it’s not just Ducktales that the series reference, but even classic Disney movies (of course) and other shows in the Disney Afternoon lineup. And when it comes to these references, it’s more than just a subtle wink to the fans. The writers actually go out of their way to write a story around these beloved characters, so people who don’t get the joke won’t be one-hundred percent lost. For instance, without giving anything away, the writers found a brilliant way to reintroduce Darkwing Duck in this universe that feels right for this famous character. And if you ask me personally, these are the best ways to handle references for a reboot. Make them work within the story, even if you don’t fully get the joke.

This brings me to the second most important rule of a reboot: Make a quality product even though it is based on something else. Let us pretend that the original never existed. Would Ducktales (2017) still be as good as it is now? Personally, as a person who has never seen the original, I think it is.

This is another show that mixes slice of life episodes with adventure ones, similar to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. And just like Friendship is Magic, both are equally interesting because the characters themselves make them so. No matter what situation the Duck Family are in, the audience will care about it because the characters care about it. In fact, I think Ducktales (2017) handles the mix of slice of life and adventure much better than Friendship is Magic. In MLP: FiM, the adventure-based episodes force the characters to stick to their simple personality traits to move the story forward, and character-based ones help them grow. In Ducktales (2017), because the characters regularly go on adventures, they grow as characters no matter the situation. For example, my favorite episode is “The Great Dime Chase” where the main plot is Louie finding Scrooge’s #1 dime after accidentally spending it. While in that same episode, Dewey and Webby try to solve a mystery around the boys’ mom. We get a great lesson about the importance of hard work and a fascinating plot of an overarching mystery within the season, all taking place within the same episode. Both are interesting, neither feels as though it overshadows the other, and the characters develop along the way.

Another thing this show mixes well is comedy and drama. A lot of shows recently tried way too hard to find that perfect mix. Ducktales (2017) is one of the few examples that nails it. The comedy is hilarious, the drama is endearing, and neither feels like it’s prioritized over the other. The show starts off with this mix as well, where others that I’ve talked about seem to start off as purely comedic only to take themselves more seriously later on. That isn’t entirely a bad thing, but I feel as though Ducktales (2017) is the best way to go about the method. That way, fans won’t be complaining about how much “better” the show used to be in its first batch of episodes, much like Star V.S. the Forces of Evil.

Unfortunately, while I recommend this show, it’s not without its fair share of issues. Or rather, issue, as there really is only one problem I have with it. And that problem can be summed up with one name: Dewey Duck. For the most part, I dislike Dewy. Because he’s nothing more than a Ben Schwarts character. No disrespect to Ben Schwarts himself, but lately, it feels as though he only plays the one character from time to time: The egotistical attention seeker slowly and surely learning to be a better person who realizes that not everything is about him. That’s the character he plays in both Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Sonic the Hedgehog (2020), and it’s the character he plays here. And the thing about these characters is that they’re not as lovable as Ben Schwarts thinks they sound. In fact (and, again, I mean no disrespect to the actor. I’m sure he’s a lovely person in real life), every single one of these characters comes off as kind of annoying rather than as the lovable rapscallions I’m sure they’re meant to be. However, there is one thing worth mentioning about Dewey. While he’s portrayed as annoying when used for comedy, Dewey is surprisingly a compelling character when used for drama. The thing is, he’s rarely used for dramatic moments and is meant as a source of comedy. Hence why I said I disliked him for the most part.

Other than that, there aren’t really that many problems with the show. Well, there are, but they’re mostly nitpicks that the series more than makes up for. Is it weird that the kids are voiced by adults? Yes, but the actors do a great job at being sincere and have great comedic timing than any kid could have. Are there changes to characters that fans might not enjoy? Probably, but I have yet to have seen anyone that has annoyed me as much as Dewey has. Are the villains just evil for the sake of being evil? Yes, but that’s not really a big deal. In fact, a villain doesn’t need a heartbreaking backstory as to why they’ve become so evil. They just need to have a great personality that’s fun to watch, which every villain in the show has (aside from season two’s antagonist who’s basically a Disney surprise villain. And I hate them with a fiery passion). Does it feel as though the show suffers from “too many characters” syndrome? It sometimes does, but each character has such a fun and unique personality that I find it hard to forget most of them.

So really, Ducktales (2017) is the best reboot in recent memory. This is crazy, seeing as how lately it feels as though Disney doesn’t even know how to properly reboot their own movies to save their lives. This is why I feel as though people should take notes on what Ducktales (2017) does if they ever feel like rebooting something they loved as a kid. Because this is more than just a retelling of the same story that people know by heart. This is a fantastic show with even better characters, stories, and tone. Whether you’ve been a fan since the beginning, or a part of the new generation of viewers, odds are you’ll be screaming Whoo-Ooo with every episode.

(Also, a word of warning to those who haven’t watched the show yet: Beware the theme song. Trust me when I say it’ll be stuck in your head until the day you die)

[wirewitchviolet]

How not to Write a Campaign

I have been playing RPGs for a very long time. Back in the day, I avoided any and all pre-written adventures of any sort because my limited experience with them was... just frankly terrible. Weird inconsistencies in tone, unfair encounter setups, too many assumptions about PCs’ motives and actions, etc. Then much later I discovered a group of writers who actually got it, wrote things perfectly in line with how my friends like a game to go, and we’ve been all in on those for a decade and change. But I just finished running a ROUGH one, and I want something good to come of it.

I don’t want to make this a specific review, because... I’m in the industry, I know the people who wrote this campaign, I can guess at some of the problems involved, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or reputation, so let me just refer to the offending prewritten campaign here as the Amnesia Campaign. It’s for a big fantasy RPG, it riffs of a particular author’s work, you can probably guess what it is from that, but, I’m trying.

The first problem I need to bring up with the Amnesia Campaign is that it just commits the cardinal sin of long term RPG campaign writing- The mustache-twirling villain who always manages to escape from the PCs at the last minute. I cannot convey just how important it is that you never, ever do this. The worst sort of example is when you plan around the PCs actually confronting your villain multiple times, and failing to kill them, which is a terrible idea because there really is no way to ever stack the deck and account for every contingency to make an unwinnable fight, or even one where escape is always possible, and especially if you’re publishing adventures, some number of groups will kill the villain too early, either shorting things out or forcing a handwave to keep an ineffectual villain in play and pretend they’re still a threat.

The Amnesia Campaign doesn’t quite go there. Having an actual chance to go toe to toe with the villain is reserved for the very end, but it does use another variant, where no matter what happens, the PCs arrive just after the villain they’re chasing has left. Now... there’s a way you can make that work. If you have a villain who cannot be reached in practical fashion, and can launch attacks anywhere within a huge region, you can build a whole campaign out of characters reacting to the aftermath of evil actions they could not be expected to even learn about until the villain has left the scene. Here, meanwhile, we have a villain with a big elaborate plot that requires traveling all over the world gathering things, based on research he does at the very start which the PCs can, and indeed are expected to do, quickly pick up on these research notes, and basically know everything the villain plans to do from nearly the start of a very long campaign. And... frankly, the villain has no real edge to keep him believably one step ahead. He is a mildly wealthy man hiring goons, mundane forms of transportation, and having to negotiate and fight his way through to various sub-objectives needed for his plan, and it is at least strongly implied that he doesn’t have a lot of lead time. When presented with a scenario about someone needing to be chased down and stopped, PCs can pretty reliably be counted on to constantly be rushing forward, coming up with clever ways to accomplish what they need to in less time, and cut down if not completely nullify their travel time. But, like with battles the villain somehow keeps escaping from, I am forced to continuously state to my players in running this that no, somehow even after avoiding this whole side quest by reading the mind of the person with important information, and directly teleporting to where the villain left for by riverboat, he somehow beat them there, and once again, just left. It’s frustrating, and implausible. We end up with a villain who seems overwhelmingly outmatched, but keeps succeeding because... well, he has plot armor so we’re railroading this.

Admittedly, having a good villain when writing a full campaign in advance can be tricky. The safe and tested formula is generally to start off with minions of your main villain, starting with some who don’t even know who they’re ultimately working for, gradually build up to who’s calling the shots and to what end, have a big side trip to prepare for the final confrontation not directly involving the villains, than cap it with a big showdown. If the PCs know who the main villain is from the very start and where to find them, it becomes hard to rationalize anything between. Sometimes you can pull it off if they’re leading an army or ruling a country, but even then, you want to work up a food chain to them.

A similar problem, which crops up a bit towards the end of the Amnesia Campaign, is making too many assumptions about how the PCs react, and who they befriend. In RPG writing, you need to make as few assumptions as possible about the specifics of what the PCs will do in any situation. You can count on the real broad strokes. The party will investigate the situation described in the adventure, they’ll explore the area, find the villains, fight them, win, learn something to keep the larger plot growing, but that’s it. You can’t assume they’re going to team up with this NPC, enter this room from that direction, or otherwise reenact what you’d imagine you’d do in their place, or what happened in your test play of your adventure. This is particularly important when you include a little sidequest unconnected to their primary goal, or you’re presenting an open-ended investigation.

Ideally, you just have a sensible location, have some villains in it with clear goals and personalities laid out, and you scatter around some things to enable various clever tricks if players think to try them, without mandating any of them. Mention where windows are, and chandeliers, and holes just too small for the average human to fit through, but don’t, as part of the Amnesia Campaign does, invest heavily in the assumption that the PCs will start investigating a sewer system when investigating how a cult gets around a city and go sparse on other possible clues. Also don’t waste adventure background note space on thousands of years of history at the expense of what the actual current problem in the area is and who or what is behind it.

The next problem is one that, were I the average consumer just buying this book would bother me a hell of a lot more than it does as someone who knows how the sausage gets made. Put mildly... you do not want to play a rogue in the Amnesia Campaign. Nor do you want to play a swashbuckler, a critical-hit focused character of any stripe, really any class out of the... roughly 25% of all classes who rely on knowledge of where to make a hit count the most to do the full amount of damage with their attacks, because practically everything is immune.

Now, again. I partly understand how this happens. We have several different authors writing different chapters of the campaign, simultaneously, in pretty unforgiving crunchy conditions, with just a rough outline to go off. Nobody really has a chance to confirm notes and say “hey, did your chapter totally invalidate one of the foundational character archetypes, because I was thinking of doing that and having two of those back to back would be a bit much.” And while the publisher of the Amnesia Campaign does throw out little booklets of tips for players on what sort of character concepts will/won’t work, they’re not written last, so this sort of tip is missing there too. On the other hand, it’s a huge problem within nearly any given chapter just on its own. If you’re making the call on what all monsters to include in a multi-level stretch of a campaign, you should generally avoid choosing nothing but monsters immune to one of the most common bread and butter class features. And honestly, given how the subject matter naturally lends to the deployment of a particular monster type, erring on the side of assuming everyone else is heavily deploying them wouldn’t be a bad assumption for any author to make.

This though, unlike the rest of my gripes, is ultimately a high level problem that needs a high level solution. When you’re publishing a whole campaign, and you’re doing it in a game where several foundational character concepts kinda live or die based on things like whether things are properly harmed by particular flavors of damage, or whether a decent percentage of enemies fall under a certain classification, that really shouldn’t be a double-blind. Coordinating to get all authors to use a decent spread, or include outline notes like “it’d make sense for about half the enemies in this chapter to be fire elemental themed in various ways, but keep a good variety otherwise,” and/or trying to get a rough handle on emergent themes to adjust for/warn about in player-facing pitch material. Even the best-written campaigns are prone to rude awakenings or hilarious reductions in challenge as turns out, say, going all in on cold damage does indeed pay off for the one with Fire in the title.

Meanwhile, on the other side of that coin, more or less, huge swaths of the Amnesia Campaign really just completely break down by failing to account for some basic standard issue capabilities of a typical party. Particularly the fact that past a certain point, you need to account for the fact that the PCs are almost certainly capable of flight. It’s a thing that happens. If you are really keen on writing adventures where local warlords are chilling out on the open-air rooftop patios of their otherwise heavily fortified fortresses, or melee-oriented monsters plan an ambush in a canyon in a vast wasteland, or a dangerous leapfrog between a series of elevated platforms over something dangerous, you want to make those low-level adventures, or else a typical party, possibly even accidentally, will just completely circumvent the whole thing. There is a whole lot of that in the back of the Amnesia Campaign. My group... literally skipped giant swaths. Heck, there was a whole side quest in the last book where the PCs are rewarded with the location of a giant obelisk which I had to cut because... it was in the middle of a big open outdoor space, and they flew over the city on the way in. They definitely had a view over those hedges.

This sort of dovetails into the next issue, consistently escalating threats. The whole fantasy RPG gimmick is that at level 1, you’re a helpless peasant barely capable of doing anything remarkable, and by level 20 you’re literally punching gods in the face and have more money in your pocket than everyone else in your home country combined (with the obvious exception of the other people in your party). Now, mechanically, balancing around that is a very easy math problem. Characters of level X are meant to deal with threats of level Y, either pull a Y level monster out of the book, or slap levels on something lower to bring it to that point, or spread that out over more enemies, then they drop Z amount of fancy loot. Easiest thing in the world. But you also need things to fit together thematically. You can absolutely throw fighter levels onto the local chicken-stealing goblins to make them mechanically as threatening as a demigod bursting through from another plane of reality, but when a group of characters is at a level where they can be expected to handle the former, it’s just plain weird for them to end up dealing with the latter. Like, yes, these particular goblins have 200 HP instead of the usual 4, so the local town guard can’t handle them, but that should never be true of chicken-stealing goblins. You don’t get that tough stealing chickens, and once you’ve gotten that tough, you should have your sights set a good deal higher than that. At least be stealing rocs or something.

The 4th chapter of the Amnesia Campaign is a particularly blatant example of not getting this, featuring a large number of “please be aware the party can fly at this level” moments mentioned above, and also just demanding the PCs deal with problems that really are beneath them at that point. Seeking out local guides, impressing petty local warlords, getting challenged by giants they must impress to rest safely when crossing a huge desert. These are... not appropriate speed bumps at a point in the narrative where the party is traveling to a location where they are going to literally fight a god, weakened or otherwise. The whole setup would be wonderful as the first chapter of a campaign, but that far in, it just doesn’t work. Particularly when the actual opening of the Amnesia Campaign sets the tension very high right off the bat, with extradimensional threats, shapeshifters, an evil cult, things that typically come later as things start to escalate.

This isn’t to say you can’t mix things up a little. Dealing with threats well below a party’s capabilities can be really nice as a chance to just sort of flex, and get some perspective on how much more capable they’ve grown over time, but you have to do it in a low-tension point of the narrative, and a little self-awareness about it doesn’t hurt.

Finally, while I really kinda hate modern wealth-by-level assumptions, they are baked into the design of the game, so if you’re running with it, you really need to make sure you’re really giving the players something they can use. The Amnesia Campaign really leans heavy on treasure being weird oddities that may be of value to a collector... while also being set, generally, in places so totally removed from civilization that shopping trips aren’t really practical. Much less those needing the party to really find the right sort of buyer.

Really, you want to give out entirely practical loot (really hard to do without knowing the party makeup, but variety can work), big piles of cash/sellables along with sufficiently large cities along the way for viable shopping, or raw materials suitable for crafting plus ample time to really do something with them.

Anyway, hopefully this has come across more as practical constructive advice for anyone writing a campaign, either as a printed product or just for your home game, not just me tearing into the Amnesia Campaign at length.

[venmomejoy]

Protection

Summary: An alternate way the forging of the lock in Kingdom of Ash went down, created by my evil brain. The actual forging remains the same, but the moments leading up to it are wayyyy more angsty

Read it on AO3!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/24381568

They had not slept that night.

They kept each other up late with roaming hands and searching mouths. Every touch burned on Aelin's skin; the feel of her mate, who had fought through hell to get her back, who had loved her despite all her faults. She wanted to imprint every inch of him in her memory, to brand him onto her soul, so that even when she was gone, she could still remember him, her mate, as she waited for him in the afterworld. She ran her hands over every inch of him, memorizing the feel of his body underneath her fingers, and reached out along their bond, storing the feeling of his heart, his soul- a small comfort in whatever the afterworld will hold for her.

Aelin knew that Rowan was committing her to memory as well. Every thrust he made into her body held the desperation, the terror, the anguish that she knew was coursing through him. He had not given up on finding an alternative; no, Rowan never was the type to take something lying down. She had barely convinced him to stop scouring the tomes and spend the night with her. She knew he would feel like he was giving up on her, abandoning her, if he stopping researching, but she wanted him tonight, wanted to spend her last hours in the arms of the male she loved, who made her life worth living, who made dying so hard. Even as he left the table and settled into bed, she knew his mind was still whirring, straining to find something, anything to alter fate.

They moved with an intensity they had never reached before. They rolled together for hours, trying to savor every minute they would get with each other, hoping it would be enough to last for eternity. Tears fell freely on both sides, Aelin's hands grasping Rowan's back, trying to pull him into her skin, while his arms banded around her waist, trying to bind them so tightly that she could not go where he could not follow.

While they both knew they could have continued all night, they eventually ceased, simply holding each other as sunlight slowly filled the tent. Neither of them slept, too anxious about the morning's events and too desperate not to miss a single moment with each other. With every ray of light filtering through the canvas, the tension in the room grew. Rowan's arms tightened where they were slung across her back and shoulders, holding her to him with a vise-like grip in an attempt to stave off the inevitable.

Aelin lied there as long as she could, breathing in her mate's scent, basking in the way it felt to be wrapped up in his arms, before breaking the spell. "Rowan, we have to go."

His arms squeezed her impossibly tighter. "No," he growled. It was apparent he had no intention of letting her walk out of here, of letting her walk to her death. She put her hands on his chest, trying to push herself out of his embrace, but his arms did not yield an inch.

"Rowan, I-"

"No, Aelin. No." She had not heard him speak to her with so much venom since they were in Wendlyn, but she knew his ire stemmed from fear. She could not even find it in herself to tease him about his territorial Fae instincts. She knew if the roles were reversed, she would do whatever it took to protect Rowan from this fate. Her fate.

Aelin was a good fighter, but there was no way she could overpower Rowan, not when he already had her restrained. She needed for him to loosen his grip, just long enough for her to slip out of bed, but her mate had a solid hundred pounds of pure muscle on her.

She knew what she had to do. Her instincts revolted at the idea, but she knew it was her only shot at easing his grasp. She ran her hands along his arms, the corded muscle tense beneath her fingers. As her hands circled his biceps she let a fraction of her power seep through, let her hands ignite for just a moment. His arms slackened as he recoiled in shock, but she slid from his embrace before he could rectify his mistake, before he could pull her to him and never let her go, charred flesh be damned. She knew his response had been from surprise, not a reaction to the pain. He could withstand her flames, he had before, and she knew that had he anticipated her plan, had he been prepared, he would have sat and endured it.

Rowan scrambled off of the mattress, his voice breaking as he pleaded with her, begged her not to go, to wait, to let him find some other way. She kept her back to him as she dressed quickly. Tears pricked her eyes as she pulled on an old tunic, trying to tune out the broken voice of her mate as he implored her not to leave. She could only take so much, could only hear so much of this before she would crack, before she would let Rowan take her into his arms and pretend the world was alright, that there were no more debts to pay, that she could simply love him and that could be enough.

Aelin marched through the flaps of their tent into the growing sunlight outside, her self-control holding on by a thread. She had half a mind to put herself together for the forging; if she was going to die, she wanted to look stunning doing it. But she could hardly find the willpower to properly dress with Rowan's pleas slowly breaking apart her defenses. Their scuffle in bed had set them behind schedule anyways, and Aelin could see the rest of their group awaiting them at the break in the field as she strode towards them.

She walked purposefully, definitively ignoring the male shouting behind her. She could feel Rowan trailing behind her, and the pain in his voice, the pain she felt down the bond, made her heart cleave in two. She was determined not to let any tears fall: she did not want her emotion to sway any of her companions, and she wanted to face the end with her head held high. She kept her eyes pinned on the clearing she approached, and had almost reached her destination when a tug on her hand spun her around.

The agony on Rowan's face... it was unbearable. Tears were streaming down his face, his beautiful face, and Aelin grappled for any way to help him, to ease his suffering. "Please, Aelin... I can't, I can't..."

She grasped his face between her hands, and when he fell to his knees, she slid down with him. His eyes frantically scanned her face, and she found herself unable to contain her tears any longer. "Rowan..." her voice came out a whisper. He pulled her face to his, placing a desperate kiss onto her mouth. She closed her eyes and let herself melt into the kiss, seeking solace in the press of his mouth on hers. He pulled away too soon, but he immediately tugged her head under his chin, pulling her up until she was completely seated in his lap. He cradled her body against his, and she let him hold her, let him take his comfort in whatever way she could offer it. She felt more than saw the sobs rack through his chest, his arms shaking as they banded around her.

Aelin wasn't sure how long they sat together, but she knew the group would need to get moving soon; she could not delay the inevitable any longer. She pushed herself up, his arms not letting her get very far, and adjusted until they sat face to face. She lifted her hands to brush his tears away, although fresh ones quickly moved to replace them, and then carded through his hair. His face was red and splotchy, crumpled as he was faced with the situation he had done everything in his power to evade. She set her hands on his cheeks, tugging his face up until he looked her in the eye.

She pushed her shoulders back, feigning composure, as she steeled herself for what she was about to say. She knew Rowan would not be happy with it, but she hoped he would at least listen to her, one day. "Rowan," she said, her voice sounding stronger than she felt. "It's going to be okay." He opened his mouth to object, but she cut him off before he could say anything. "Rowan, I need you to listen to me. Things are going to get better. You are going to get better." His eyes filled with horror as he violently shook his head, dismissing the idea. She simply smiled softly at him and nodded. "It may not feel like it now, but they will. I'm sure you do not believe me- you always have been a stubborn bastard- but this is something you will move past. And I- I want you to. I know that you will think that any happiness you feel after my death will somehow dishonor my memory, but it will not. No, you would dishonor my memory if you stopped living, if you shut down and never allowed yourself to find joy again. You have to let them in: Fenrys, Lorcan, Gavriel, Aedion. The others too. Dorian, Chaol, Elide, Nesryn, Yrene, all of them- our friends. You have people, Rowan, people who care for you- you are not alone." She swallowed, gripping his hands tightly between hers. "You must promise me that you will not shut them out, that you will let them help you heal. That you will let yourself heal. And perhaps, Rowan, you will one day find love again, and-"

"No." He grasped her hands so tightly she thought they might bruise. Perhaps that would be nice, to enter the afterworld with one last mark from her mate. "Aelin, you can't possibly believe-"

"She won't be your mate, no," she gave a watery laugh, "but that does not mean you cannot still love her. It will take time, no doubt, but someday, you may meet a beautiful female who you find yourself in love with. And you must know, loving her does not mean you love me any less. Do not deny yourself any chance at happiness on my account; you deserve to love again. I want you to love again. As long as it is someone who deserves you, or else I will kick your ass when we meet in the afterworld." Her attempt to lighten the mood fell flat.

He was still shaking his head, heartbreak evident in his face as tears from his eyes splattered across her tunic. "You are my mate, Aelin. There will never be anyone else. And there will never be any getting better. You cannot possibly believe this to be something I can recover from. You are everything to me, Fireheart. Everything. I cannot let you go through with this."

"There is no other way, Rowan."

"If that is true, then I will go in with you, and we will pay the debt together." His face was hard as granite, resolve etched on every line of his skin.

Aelin's heart stuttered to a stop in her chest; she did not think she was breathing. "No."

"I love you, Aelin. Wherever you go, I go. I will not let you face this alone, and I have no desire to live in a world without you in it."

"No, Rowan. We need as many warriors as we can get to defeat Maeve and the Valg ranks. Your power is too immense for our army to be deprived of it, especially if I will not be on the battlefield either. And after all of this, when you have won the war, I need you to lead Terrasen. The people of Terrasen have suffered for too long; you must take up the crown that is yours, and help lead our people into prosperity. I cannot leave without knowing my country is in the hands of someone who will bring joy and safety to my lands. And if that is not reason enough, the lock only calls for the life of one. I could not bear taking this burden if I knew you would be dying as well. I love you too much to let you die senselessly."

"How do you think I feel? If our roles were reversed, you would never let me go through with this."

"But they are not."

"Aelin-"

"You are right- if the roles were reversed, I would do anything to save you from this. But they are not, and I cannot do anything but fulfill the debt, and pray that it will be enough to protect my people, to protect you. And if the roles were reversed, you would do the exact same thing." Her voice was flinty. She could not show any weakness on this, could not let Rowan believe for a second she would allow him to kill himself with her.

The sun was climbing up the horizon, and Aelin knew they needed to start the ritual soon if the army had any chance of reaching Terrasen's units in time. She knew it was time to say goodbye.

She cupped his cheeks in her hands again, staring into his eyes as she spoke. "Everything will be alright Rowan." She let a small smile dance across her face, showing him that she was not afraid, giving him a happy image to remember when she was gone. "I will be with you always. Here," she pressed her fingers to his temple. "And here," dragging her hand down to lay over his heart. "And here," she said down the mating bond, voice chock-full of adoration and joy and passion. He shuddered, eyes filled with desperation. "I love you, Rowan. More than I ever thought I would love anyone. You saved me. You drew me out of the darkness; you taught me how to live again. You saw every part of me and did not flinch; you loved me through all of my flaws. You know my past and have never held it against me. You gave my life purpose when I was on the brink of giving up. And I wish we had had those centuries together, wish we could have had a life together, had children, had a chance to see Terrasen flourish. But if this is all the time we get, it was more than I could have ever hoped for. I have no regrets Rowan, not one. You made my life worthwhile." She leaned her forehead against his, their tears mingling until they could not tell whose was whose. "I look forward to the eternity we will have together in the afterlife. But do not rush, Rowan- we have time. Find the joys in this life while it is here, allow yourself to enjoy the pleasures you can find with no guilt. I love you, more than you could ever imagine."

With that, she pressed her lips to his, a final farewell. It was messy and desperate and sorrowful, and when they pulled away, Aelin allowed Rowan to pull her into his arm again, allowed him to comfort himself with the feel of his mate in his arms. He sobbed into her neck, hands roving over her, clenching in the fabric of her tunic. Looking over his shoulder, she could see the distress on the faces of her comrades. The royal family of the Southern Continent looked calmer than the rest, not knowing Aelin or Rowan personally, but still looked grieved by the events they were witnessing. But the Cadre, Choal, Dorian, Elide, Nesryn... they looked devastated. She knew they were going to crack any minute, knew she had to do this now. She moved to extract herself from Rowan's lap, but his arms held her to him, yet again keeping her from her duty.

"Rowan, you have to let me up now." Her voice sounded feeble, even to her own ears.

"I can't, Aelin... I just can't. I don't care if I have to sit here and hold you down for the rest of our lives, but I cannot let you go through with this. Burn me all you like, I will not give way."

"Rowan..."

"I can't-" his voice broke, taking her heart down with it. "I can't do this without you. I need you, Fireheart. Please." She could feel her own resolve disintegrating from the pain she was putting her mate through. But she could not afford weakness, not with all that was at stake. She knew her fire trick from this morning would not work; no, now that the element of surprise was gone, he really would endure her flames if it meant keeping her safe.

She knew there was only one way to stop him, knew it and hated it. He may never forgive her for this, but she had no other choice.

"Fenrys, Lorcan, come here." The pure command in her voice had her mate tensing beneath her. She rarely invoked the blood oath, and she knew he would realize what she was up to quickly, knew she needed to act fast. The males approached, apprehension in their eyes, stopping a few paces away from where she and Rowan sat.

She looked at the two, remorse in her eyes. She knew they would not do this willingly, would not help her sacrifice herself or aid in Rowan's suffering, so she had to use their blood oaths. They very well may never forgive her either, but it was all she could think of. "Take Rowan back to the tent, and restrain him until this is all over." He whipped his head up, eyes filled with fear and betrayal and anguish. She could not draw upon her mate's blood oath; he would have broken it, no matter if it killed him. So she had to use the other members of her court, even if it broke her heart. "Try not to hurt him, but make sure he cannot stop the ritual."

She could see the rage on both Fenrys and Lorcan's faces as they strode towards their friend, infuriated that she would make them do such a thing and yet powerless to deny her demand. Rowan was already fighting, yelling things Aelin could not hear over the cracking in her chest. The two males hauled Rowan up by his arms, even as he kicked and thrashed in their grip. He was yelling at her, for her, as they started to steer him towards their tent. Her face contorted in pain as she watched their slow progression, Rowan fighting like hell to free himself, yet the two of them overpowered even his colossal strength.

"Do not be angry with them Rowan, they have as little say in this as you do. Do not hold this against them; if you will be angry at someone, let it be me. I am sorry it has to be this way, but... we cannot avoid this Rowan. And it is probably better that you not watch." He was weeping in his friends' arms, straining to get to his mate, to save her, but he could not get free.

"Fenrys, Lorcan, I- am very sorry to put you in this position. Neither of you has any fault in this, and you cannot hold yourself to blame for it. Fenrys, you are one of my dearest friends. You helped me through the darkest point in my life, helped me hold out hope, helped me stay sane. You have been a better friend to me than I could have possibly dreamt for myself. I love you, Fen. I hope you find happiness too, hope that you can heal from all the suffering we endured. And Lorcan, you should know I hold you to no blame for what happened with Maeve. Though you certainly can be a prick, I know you are an honorable man, and one who has earned my respect. But if you ever hurt Elide, I will personally wallop you from the afterworld.

"Rowan, I love you. So, so much. I hope you can forgive me, hope you can understand why I had to do this. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me." She watched them tug her mate away, listened as he bellowed for her and hurled threats so creative at his friends it almost made Aelin chuckle. Almost. She kept her eyes on him until he disappeared under the canvas of their tent, his eyes boring into hers, lips forming her name. When he was out of sight, she allowed herself one moment of weakness, one moment of misery. She knew her friends were watching, yet she needed to release these emotions, needed the universe to see what an injustice it had bestowed.

She gathered her strength, and pulled herself to her feet. She wiped at her face, smoothed down her hair, willed her voice into a semblance of assuredness. Then she spun around and faced her allies. "Well, let's get started then."

They all froze for a moment, doubt in their eyes. It was Elide who finally spoke up. "Aelin, I'm not sure-"

"There is no other way. The price has to be paid, either today or sometime in the near future, but it will never be less painful. There is no getting out of this. Let's just get it over with." Aelin took no pains to hide the fatigue in her voice; she was so, so tired.

Although they all looked hesitant, they helped her set up the ceremony, drawing the intricate Wyrdmarks in the dirt. It was incredibly hard for Aelin to focus as she heard Rowan's growling far behind her. He wailed for her, begged for her to stop, to wait, to reconsider. She did her best to tune him out, but her mate's voice was one she could never truly ignore.

Sooner than she anticipated, the circle was done. There was nothing left to wait for; the ritual could begin. Before Aelin stepped inside the ring, she gave her goodbyes to all of her friends. All were incredibly emotional, mostly leaving both in tears. She thanked each and every one of them for everything they had done for her, for everything they meant to her, for becoming her family. She loved them, all of them, and told them so. She thanked the royal family a little more distantly, thanked them for the aid in this war, and for their care of her friends. She took a long look at them, her friends, tears slipping down her cheeks. She had left a message for Aedion and Lysandra with Fenrys last night, although she wished she could say a proper goodbye to her cousin and best friend. She looked towards the tent, towards the shouts and pleas that had not ceased, towards the mate that she would leave behind. She snapped her eyes shut when the sounds became too hard to bear.

Aelin took a deep breath and strode towards the ring. She would not flinch; she would not yield. She was two steps away from entering when a hand on her shoulder stopped her. She looked back at Dorian, his eyes shining with a plot, although she also saw what looked like fear. She stood silent as he gathered himself, whispering, "What if there was another way to fulfill the lock, one that would not drain your life completely?" She raised her eyebrow, and as Dorian laid out his plan, she found herself nodding. She owed it to Rowan, owed it to herself to at least try, though she knew at the first sign of failure she would take over and save her friend. She would not make any promises, but she would try.

----------------------------------

Minutes later, when the wards circled around Aelin and Dorian, pounding footsteps drew the eyes of the bystanders. Rowan was sprinting towards his mate, face bloodied and clothes torn. They could not imagine the fight he had put up to break the hold of two ancient Fae males, especially when they were under a blood oath's order. Rowan was disheveled and distressed, running as fast as he could towards Aelin, only to come up short as he came in contact with an invisible barrier, walling her and Dorian into the circle. Rowan banged on it several times, shouting his mate's name, but it was no use. She was in the thrall of the magic, unaware of what was going on in the world around her. They all exchanged glances, and Sartaq stepped forward, explaining the situation to Rowan, explaining that it was possible Aelin would not have to die, not if she and Dorian each paid half of the price. Rowan's face was puffy and red, yet Sartaq saw a glimmer of hope on the male's face. Rowan didn't bother thanking the man, desperately watching the scene before him, but Sartaq knew he was grateful, he just had larger things to worry about. Rowan knelt with his hands pressed against the wards, hoping beyond hope that this scheme would be enough to save his Fireheart.

[lovemeafterhrs]

new years eve | t. kuroo

nye shitshow based HEAVILY on mal blum’s new years eve and the mess of drafts i’ve written at 3am for the past week. im a sucker for a good tetsu fic and i have quite a few in the works,, kinda weird coming from an akaashi main but it is what it is i guess

~~~~

new year’s eve had always held a lot of value deep in her heart; her need to say goodbye to the past was never fleeting, and most things ended with the resolutions of many years before.

but that year was different.

college was a new, welcome surprise that took her by the horns and dragged her through complete chaos day after day. most of the casual destruction was traced back to kuroo tetsurou, her (not so) beloved roommate and destroyer of ikea furniture.

among the cast of revolving characters that passed through their shared apartment, bokuto was definitely the most interesting.

he just so happened to also be the root of kuroo’s evil.

as months passed and the seasons began to shift around her, she became accustomed to dealing with the duo and their crowd of volleyball misfits.

but nothing could compare to the horror that awaited her on new year’s eve.

she hadn’t taken into account that people would arrive long before her roommate did, and most of her time would be spent observing his friends downing shots from the small kitchen island.

yachi had been the first to approach her that night, noticing the concern that marked her features as she struggled not to check the time.

the girl brought a sense of comfort that had previously been missing, and her face brightened at the wine in the other girl’s coffee mug.

the two sat at the kitchen island together, eating guacamole and drinking boxed wine from coffee cups. they observed the many drunken behaviors of the people around them, giggling to themselves with pink dusting their cheeks.

by the time kuroo stumbled through the door, the clock on the coffee pot showed 11:58 in a bright red glow. yachi’s tolerance had gotten the best of her, and two wine bottles laid empty on the counter next to her. the girl was entirely trashed, and abandoned her post at the island for a necessary trip to the bathroom.

kuroo’s apologetic smile met her eyes, and the disappointed look on her face was enough to keep him at arm's length for the rest of the evening.

yachi had returned shortly after, and the two sat together as the clock struck midnight. shouts were heard from all around her, but she could only focus on the rooster headed man’s drunken smile as he leaned in to kiss tsukishima.

that of course, was met with complete and utter disgust. but that’s entirely besides the point.

~~~~

365 days later, and she’s found her way back to the marble of her countertop.

much to her dismay, yachi had been out of town that year. instead of joining the crowd of rowdy 20-somethings, she chose to sit back and remember the moments that began the year.

the year prior had been disappointing considering her expectations, but she hadn’t forgotten all the memories she’d made.

she didn’t enjoy cleaning bokuto’s vomit out of the carpet the next day, and she could barely remember how the night played out in the first place. the shrimp tsukishima brought had given half the guests food poisoning, but the night lived on in her heart regardless.

in the middle of her tipsy daydream, kuroo sunk himself into the stool next to her; a drunken smile plastered on his face as he moved for the bowl of guacamole.

“this year’s already over,” he stated, glancing over at the other guests. “how crazy is that?”

“it’s really weird, actually.” she sighed, and his eyes snapped over to her as she continued. “last year, yachi ate that entire bowl of guacamole. now it’s barely been touched since the party started.”

“hey, don’t be sad! it’s about to turn midnight, and you can’t be upset when the new year starts!” his attitude was enough to make her smile, but it didn’t quite meet her eyes as the people surrounding her started to count down from five.

something clicked in kuroo’s brain as the clock struck midnight, and before he could think it through, his lips were on hers.

it only lasted a moment, but in that time she began to realize that maybe things could be different.

~~~~~

sometimes, observations of the situation are not enough to determine the outcome. in a whole year, they had managed to avoid the one topic that left far more questions than anything else.

instead of letting the year replay again, kuroo had made plans on the opposing side of the city. while she had intended to stay home with the long-forgotten guacamole, yachi had convinced her to spend the new year without the thoughts of her troublesome roommate.

that was how she came to stand at the bar of a bustling nightclub with her blonde companion, much too drunk for the loud and overwhelming atmosphere.

the clock had already signaled the beginning of another year, but it didn’t feel resolved.

there was no resolution.

instead of roping yachi into dealing with her problems, she decided to go back to the apartment she had spent many beginnings and endings in.

fumbling with her keys, she struggled to focus on the door handle as memories began to flood her senses.

kuroo dodged her calls for many days after he kissed her that night, and things never really felt the same. there was tension unlike before; the fear of being alone together and making another mistake compromised their ability to spend time in each other's company.

but he was also so kind that it hurt her. there was no ill intention within him, only fear of ruining what was previously established.

the realization sunk heavy into her heart as the door closed behind her, and her subconscious shouted for answers of what or who he was doing while she was sliding to the floor against the cold frame of the door.

it was possible to assume that he only flirted to pass time, but something about the way he looked at her scared them both into silence.

the fun, playful manner of their relationship came to an abrupt halt after new year’s eve, and neither of them could grasp quite what went wrong.

but she did know something; that even if she didn’t want to, her feelings for kuroo were becoming more and more obvious with every day. she couldn’t ignore it anymore, and that upset her more than him not being present in that moment.

the realization shocked her into getting up from her place on the floor, and shuffling over to the liquor cabinet.

drinking straight from the bottle, she took a seat on the kitchen island and placed her head against the cold marble of the counter top.

“here i am again,” she laughed to herself, disregarding the jingle of keys from the hallway.

the door swung open, and kuroo immediately took notice of her presence in the kitchen. he was obviously drunk, but the look in his eyes said the many things that he had never voiced to her.

“i don’t like it when you’re not here.” he stated, and she looked at him with confusion gracing her features. “new years wasn’t the same without you.”

“then we can have it here next year-”

“i don’t think you get what i'm saying,” he sighed, preparing for the worst out of his sudden confession. “i.. don’t think i want to spend it with anyone else.”

“oh..?” the surprise on her features was blatantly obvious, but the smile that followed brought all the certainty he needed. “our kitchen island has two chairs for a reason.”

“good. maybe next year, we can make guacamole.”

“i’d like that.”

masterlist:

[mor-beck-more-problems]

Cost of Living || Morgan & Erin

TIMING: Before Lydia’s death

PARTIES: @corpse--diem & @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: Morgan seeks comfort from a friend who understands a little about murder and revenge.

CONTAINS: two sad gays

Morgan had never bemoaned her inability to drink more. She had almost dropped the large bottle of bourbon she’d brought for Erin out of spite on the way over. But it stayed tight in her grip as she shambled to her friend’s apartment and knocked on the door. When it opened, she said nothing, but sank, almost as if falling, into Erin’s chest, hoping she’d catch her. “Everything...is going...to shit,” she said. Her words were muffled on account of being mumbled into Erin’s shirt, but the heavy weariness in her tone filled in whatever got lost. Morgan just managed to pull herself upright again. “I’m honestly not even sure how much to tell you because I am so fucking tired of losing friends right now. But, you know, hi. And uh—” She lifted the bourbon. “Congrats. Careful, she’s heavier than I make her look.”

There was a flurry of Morgan and leftover glitter trailing in from the hallway the moment Erin opened the door. “Hey there dollfa--oof,” she started to welcome her friend, and did her best to catch her with the one good arm she had and braced still healing ribs for impact. The collapsed hug took a little bit of her breath but from the exhaustion and disarray in Morgan’s voice, Erin knew it was more than worth it. She gave the woman a hard squeeze anyway, rubbing her arm, her own face riddled with empathy and understanding. “Honestly, there’s little that can surprise me anymore, so this is a safe space. Say as much of your peace as you need to.” A small smirk lifted the corner of her lips at Morgan’s offering. “That helps. A lot. Holy shit, you weren’t kidding about top shelf.” Benefits of dating a mysteriously wealthy woman, she supposed, remembering the car Deirdre bought Blanche and the apartment and dog she’d given Nic. Ushering her friend inside, she lamented the fact that she didn’t have any spare eyeballs or hearts or something for her friend to munch on for the first time since she’d given up the organ business. “Now. Please, sit down, tell me all about it,” she said, gesturing towards the couch as she grabbed a glass from the kitchen.

Morgan followed Erin’s urging and collapsed onto the couch, ragdoll style. “No one understands what I’m doing. Or--okay, Deirdre understands what I’m doing. There’s this tortured, maybe-evil vampire who sometimes understands what I’m doing. But everyone else I’ve brought into this, my friends--friend I asked over and over if they were sure and if they could handle it--either don’t want anything to do with it, or they’ve decided to take matters into their own hands and--” She scrubbed her eyes clean before the tears burning behind them could fall. “The person I thought was one of my closest friends tried to steal my exorcism ingredients. After they hatched a plan with the ghost I’m after. The ghost that killed me in the street. That murdered one of my students and endangered the rest of them. Oh, and get this! She’s my great-great grandmothers’s ex! Which means I was cursed from birth and then murdered over a shitty nineteenth century lesbian drama!” She slumped over, holding her head in her hands.”Listen,” she groaned, “Before I get too cozy with the rest of my bullshit, I need you to be very, very honest with me: are you going to want throw me out for wanting to wreck the ghost who destroyed me and my family over the past one hundred twenty whatever years? Because I can just go, if this is making you uncomfortable. It’s not like I can get drunk with you anyway.”

There wasn’t much to do but listen once Morgan started. Truly started. Collapsing at the door was only a small taste of what Morgan needed to spill out, like a pot of boiling water no longer able to contain its contents. Erin knew that feeling all too well. There was more than a few familiar pings that went off as she spoke, actually and most of them weren’t pleasant. “If you try to tell me you don’t know the answer to that, I actually will throw you out,” Erin said firmly, turning enough on the couch so Morgan had no other option than to face her. Her voice softened slightly. “Constance deserves what’s coming to her and you deserve to be the one to end it. But this—“ she gestured vaguely towards Morgan, “the fights, the lows, things going wrong, people dying and getting hurt. People won’t look at you the same and your relationships’ll change. That’s part of the Big Time Take Back My Life Revenge package. And it feels like shit.” She paused, reaching for her forearm gently.  “I support you no matter what, okay? But that’s part of this and something you have to accept and live with when it’s over.”

Morgan laughed through her tears. “Are you sure everything she did isn’t suddenly invalidated by her being a ghost or being young? Because some people seem to feel that way, and I didn’t realized that over a century’s worth of being magically ground up and spat out or being murdered was some kind of conditional thing, nevermind what average standards of adulthood were in the 1890’s, or life expectancy, or anything other than her stupid Little Coven on the Prairie face.” She dragged her hands through her hair, trying to brace herself for the worst. “I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I know you’ve...you’ve done something incredible and hard and awful and you are so much stronger and more free now, even if not everyone sees that. And I just want some of that control back. Even a little. I want the last word on how that ends. And I...I hate it so much but I don’t know how close I even can be with someone who won’t try to understand how important and personal this is. I just didn’t think it would be so much.” She finally looked at Erin again, searching her face for disapproval, for hesitation. “And then there’s the personal life stuff but I think we, uh, should have a round of you stuff first. The way you sound, I don’t guess it’s all been victory laps and roses since you killed Roy.”

Erin softened only slightly when Morgan brought up the ghost’s age. Being a ghost didn’t matter much to her - if they had conscious thought and free will, and knew better, then it was free game to right some wrongs. Right? Still, she felt herself paling at Morgan’s compliments. “Maybe. A part of me feels better but a part of me doesn’t either? I’m not trying to sound preachy but that’s all I’m trying to say. You gain and regain some things but you lose things too. Some of those things you can’t get back.” It wasn’t exactly the same as Morgan’s situation but the core of it, even in a general sense, was something that felt unfortunately familiar. Roy had destroyed her family just as much as Constance had Morgan’s. A tight-lipped, wry smile crossed her lips at Morgan’s question and she leaned forward to grab her drink again. She raised her brows and took a sip. “What do you mean? I’m thriving.” Another sip emptied the glass and the bourbon went burned smoothly down her throat. She poured herself some more, a little apologetic that Morgan couldn’t partake. Sounded like she needed a few glasses herself right now. “I got what I wanted,” she nodded, giving a dry laugh. “Roy’s dead, my friends are in literal pieces, my house and business are still half-ash, my boyfriend’s gone and my best friend just blocked me from her life. Hopefully that’s not a taste of what you might end up with. Learn from my mistakes?” She offered before knocking back another long sip.

Morgan watched Erin drink enviously. Sometimes she could go for a day or two without missing her life, but seeing Erin’s nerves unclench as the liquid sloshed down her throat, the way she slumped into the cushions, actually taking in the comfort of softness, reminded Morgan of how much she’d lost and how much everyone who pretended to get it or understand that things ‘sucked’ or were ‘unfair’ had no fucking clue. But she wasn’t circling the drain so hard that she couldn’t catch the exhaustion in Erin’s voice. “Literal pieces? You and Nic, Marley--what? Okay, first of all, whatever edgelord bullshit Marley is pulling right now is not your fault. If she’s going to push people away and turn into a toxic asshole, that’s her problem, not yours. I mean, I’m sorry it hurts, and it’s not fair and you don’t deserve it, but I don’t think it’s you, Erin.” Morgan grabbed one of the pillows on Erin’s couch and squIshed it over her stomach, digging her fingers in until it looked ready to burst. “I know it wasn’t perfect, nothing is perfect,” she said quietly. “But I do think it was right. And maybe if more people had been pushed into such an awful, desperate situation, they wouldn’t be so quick to decide they know best.” Morgan certainly didn’t trust anyone except for Deirdre with the true price of eradicating Constance. Miriam wouldn’t bat an eyelash,but their last talk had been so complicated, and she wanted Miriam to understand a life with as little violence as possible. It wouldn’t be fair to keep asking her to sink into the dark with her just because she was already there and deeper. Erin had killed in the name of her cause, and Roy was just as dangerously persistent as Constance. But the methodology of killing him hadn’t been important. Holding her secret even tighter than the pillow across her chest, Morgan lifted her gaze to meet Erin’s. “I don’t know what it’s worth to you, but I will not stop being your friend just because you decided your life was worth more than the law or other people’s comfort. I believe in what you did. I’m sorry it’s...that it’s hard.” She knew hard too. She looked at it every day she checked in with the exorcist, insisting she had a plan for the source and could do it herself. “Is there anything I can do…?” She asked quietly.

Erin couldn’t help the snorting laugh when the word “edgelord” popped up into the conversation, nor could she help the wave of despair that followed it. Marley was tough, had a flair for the dramatics, sure, but she had also been the closest thing Erin had to a best friend she’d had in a decade. And Nic - well, that one still felt too fresh and raw to poke at yet. But Morgan’s presence and words alone were a calming salve she needed more than she realized. “The accident really messed her up. Big time. I know it’s not okay, the way she’s handling this and the way she’s treating me for it. She signed up for this and she pushed me out of the way so I wouldn’t die. But I don’t know that I’d be handling it well either. I just--I have to give her some time, you know? She’ll come around.” Probably. She has to, she thought, circling the top of her glass with her index finger. And if she didn’t? Erin wasn’t ready to contemplate that just yet. Morgan’s next words hit harder than she was prepared for and only furthered to cement how deeply Morgan understood what she was going through right now. She was one of the few who truly could.

She glanced over, that familiar burn tingling behind her eyes and she reached for one of the hands that threatened to tear apart her throw pillow. “Hey, me too, okay?” she nodded, squeezing her cold fingers hard. “I promise you’re stuck with me.” It was a weird promise to make, and not one Erin often promised anyone, but the dedication and loyalty Morgan had shown her throughout this entire thing had been unparalleled and that was a rare thing to have in her life. She’d be an idiot to let that fall to the wayside. “Just sitting here and listening to be whine about my life is all a girl can really ask for.” The corner of her mouth lifted into a smile. “Whatever you need from me too, you know. You’ve got it.” She raised a brow, tilting her head. “And hey, get me an iron rod and some salt and I can punch some ghosts for you too. I’m not above punching a murderous ghost-brat if the situation calls for it.”

Morgan couldn’t fault Erin for standing by her friend, even if she thought everything would be much simpler with Marley Stryder left in the dust. She was a person, complicated and pitiful and capable of more than just harm. But she was also a person who complicated Morgan’s life considerably, and had now hurt three people Morgan cared for. She gave Erin a squeeze and said, “If you say so. I hope she comes through, for your sake.” Morgan didn’t feel convinced for a minute, but Erin deserved a better friend than that. Injury or not, Marley could afford to at least be more communicative about the shit she was grappling with.

Morgan smiled at Erin’s reassurance and swallowed back the urge to cry again. “That means a lot, you know. I’m...stars, I’m just so tired of this. And of people not understanding. If I can just get it over with…” Even with the human cost, she could finally be free of everything. “And the last thing I want is for you to end up as part of Constance’s next body count. She’s not afraid to murder to get to me, and I have enough blood on my hands. But maybe next time we go out I’ll give you some iron knuckles or a big ol’l thing of salt to hang onto.” She snorted through her tears. “At least after all these years I have a salt pistol now. It’s kind of cool until you remember it’s only good for one thing.” She wiped her face and leaned into her friend’s shoulder. “But there is...I don’t know if you can do anything, is the thing, but maybe you might know someone after the whole...Roy mess. But the guy Felix left in charge of my decap isn’t so great with the timely deliveries. Smaller loads, and tighter timelines, like down to the wire. And you’ve never seen me how...the way I get sometimes. If you can give me a name, some other hookup or back up avenue I can look into so I don’t lose my fucking mind on top of anything else, that would be pretty swell, not gonna lie.”

Erin had a feeling Morgan wouldn’t quite understand her attachment or commitment to Marley. She hadn’t seen the side of Marley that remained on her side through the entire Roy ordeal, who’d thrown herself in the line of fire when Erin had been dangerously close to meeting her maker. It wasn’t something she could explain either. Whether she liked it or not, Marley was too important and too close to her now to toss aside. “One can only hope with her,” she teased gently.

“Oh, Morgan,” she chuckled a little, holding her friend close when she began to dissolve into a mess of tears, trying to fight back the ones Morgan’s words were slowly edging out of her.  God, she didn’t want to cry. She was so tired of crying and moping around this apartment, moving from her bed to the couch and back, even if that’s all her body was telling her she was capable of lately. “A salt pistol? Have you ever used it?” She smirked, raising a brow. “I could totally go for those iron knuckles though, if you get a chance. It could be multipurpose. Ghosts aren’t the only things that need punching,” she laughed, but only for a moment, Morgan’s next question slowly dawning on her like a slow dread building. Morgan had mentioned her medication before, and that Felix had been her prior hookup. And now she needed a new hookup. Her request wasn’t an unreasonable one, and if there was anything Erin could do to ease even a little bit of Morgan’s plight, she’d jump at it. But diving back into that mess? Reaching out to contacts she thought she’d never have to speak to again? She tensed unintentionally, straightening her back, but tried to relax again and rested her cheek on top of Morgan’s head. “Yeah. Sure. I can’t make any promises. I know I was in that world and I know a few people I can contact but if that’s what you need, then I’ll see what I can do.” She glanced down for a moment, straining to pull a smile onto her face, reaching down to lightly tap Morgan’s nose with her index finger. “And if it means one less thing you’ve gotta worry about dollface, I’ll be glad to.”

“I’ve fired it a couple times, actually,” Morgan sniffled, managing a small grin. “I actually got Constance in the head with one once. It was pretty great in the moment.” In the fallout, not so much, but she was trying to make herself feel better, not worse. “A couple other times too. In uh, in a car chase, actually. I didn’t get her, but maybe you’d be proud of me, leaning out the window like I was in a movie. And I wasn’t even on mobster brains or anything.” Her smile flickered wider for a moment and she gave Erin a squeeze to the extent of, I’m okay, I’ll be okay.

She was still touching her when Erin tensed. “I didn’t know who else to ask,” she said. “I just need a name, a jumping off point. And I can pay. If that’s a question with anyone you talk to. Deirdre covers me and you know she’s good for it, and I’ll take...fuck, I take whatever the price is. I don’t want to be gouged by some asshole, but I need to be myself or none of this is worth anything.” She caught Erin’s finger and hooked it around her own, as she made a soft, wet laugh. “Thanks, dollface,” she whispered. “I can come with, if you want some back up. I think I made quite an impression that one time. And you know I’m a lot tougher than I look, even if I am kind of a crybaby.” With Erin’s assurances, Morgan deflated with relief and finally stretched out, feet on the coffee table. “So what’s this about Nic, and the other stuff? Was that...part of the things you lost because of what you did for yourself?” She gave her a little nudge and lowered her voice. “We don’t have to talk about it, but you don’t have to be tough gal, shit together Erin all the time with me either.”

It wasn’t funny, but it really was and Erin let out an abrupt laugh at the image of Morgan running around with a salt pistol, hanging out of car windows and shooting ghosts in the head like some tiny badass, peppy zombie with a mission. “I’m sorr--no, actually, I’m not sorry. That’s amazing,” she managed between hard giggles shaking her shoulders. “Why do I never get to see you do any of this badass stuff? How is this fair?” She shook her head, letting out a long breath as she relaxed a little further into the couch. “Promise you’ll teach me how to use one of those things one day?”

Erin could hear the hint of desperation in Morgan’s voice and knew this wasn’t something she was asking lightly. Asking your reluctant friend to reach into shady contact rolodex for illegal supernatural drugs wasn’t usually high on anyone’s list. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it. But If I need your assist, you better come packing heat, you hear?” She teased slightly, trying to hide the dread building. She wasn’t looking forward to stepping back into that world but there were a few people she could reach to who didn’t want her dead for what she accomplished with Roy. For all Morgan had done for her, this was the last she could do. She squeezed Morgan’s hand, relieved at possibly settling some of Morgan’s nerves. Without thinking, Erin shifted only to grab her drink again and settled back against Morgan and the couch. Fiddled with it between her hands anxiously. “I don’t know--” she shook her head as she struggled to put it to words. “Getting here took everything I had. My home, my work. Did a number on my relationships too. Living with everything I had to do just--I thought I was ready for it, and I forced myself to be, but actually living with it makes me feel like I didn’t win anything at all.” Felt weird to say that outloud. Morgan was the first person she’d been able to open up so honestly about where she landed with the fall out and god did it feel good to know that she’d heard. Really heard. “The Nic thing--it’s unrelated to everything. He had to go on some hunter mission… thing, and didn’t know when, or even if he’d be back. And right now I can’t even think about leaving. I’m trying to rebuild, you know? The timing just--it sucks.” She took a deep, wavering breath when she felt the warmth of tears pushing forward down her cheeks and smothered them with a long swig of bourbon. “It really, really fucking sucks.”

“I guess you don’t hang out with me enough,” Morgan teased. “But I guess I could show you a thing or two. Not sure how helpful a salt round would be since your eyeballs aren’t dead enough to see ghosts, but we’ll have a good time. Probably wouldn’t hurt, knowing how to pop off a few rounds in a pinch. I don’t think White Crest has shooting ranges in every corner of town like they do in Texas, but there’s gotta be something in a place with this many hunters. If you want a badass date, you just have to say the word and I’m there, okay?”

Maybe that date would be soon, maybe it wouldn’t. There was an awful gravity to Erin’s words, like she was speaking from the bottom of a pit. And what she said, that she didn’t feel like anything had been won and therefore felt no satisfaction or relief or...anything that Morgan craved at the end of this bullshit tunnel. And it was so unfair, for Erin to lose someone she should have been able to lean on the most at a time like this. Morgan was glad Nic had gotten out of this cruel place, at least for a while, but the leaving itself made her wonder if White Crest really was more cursed than she’d ever been.

“Hey. You can rest now, Erin,” Morgan whispered, watching the gleam of tears build up behind her friend’s eyes. “Maybe it doesn’t feel good right now, but you can rest. It’s okay.” She went still, still watching, waiting to see if Erin would believe her. Then she said, “What’s going to make you feel like you can stop running, or hiding, or whatever else you’re trying to tell yourself? I’m good for more than just talking or fighting, you know.”

Erin smiled at the prospect. “You got it. It’s a date,” she promised. It’d be good to do something with Morgan that wasn’t backed by pure necessity for once. Whether it was someone owing someone a favor or needing a shoulder to cry on. It wasn’t often she had the opportunity anymore to simply enjoy herself with her friends. Had all the time in the world now for that, didn’t she?

Morgan’s words were soft and kind and didn’t help much in the way of keeping those tears behind her eyes. Her question was a good one and it gave Erin pause as she wondered it herself. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly, shaking her head, clutching the glass tightly in her hands. It felt like she’d been running and fighting for so long now, she almost didn’t know how to stop. How to make the cogs and wheels in her head run at half speed or allow her mind and body the break they so desperately needed. “I’m still so… angry. And unsatisfied.” And lost. A large part of her never truly believed she was making it out of that whole thing alive.

Her eyes jumped up to Morgan’s suddenly. “God, this sounds terrible doesn’t it? We literally just talked about how we’re both going through this, and here I am making the endgame look pitiful and hopeless.” She rubbed her eyes, letting her fingers run down the side of her face as she took a deep breath. “It can’t feel like this forever though, you know? It’ll get better. I’m really leaning into this idea that destroying everything so you can rebuild, properly rebuild your life, will make it worth it. Because it has to be. And that’s all I can do at this point.”

Morgan nodded through a tight smile. “It’s okay. I’d rather you be honest than lie to make me feel better,” she said. And it would be different for her, right? She hadn’t lost her home like Erin had, but she had her zombie body and she had her mother’s box of trauma sitting in the closet. She hadn’t thought to dump any of it at the feet of her mother’s ghost, and it was too late now. That door was as likely to open again as Morgan’s magic. She had lost more than plenty and she had everything to win by seeing this through. Even with a little blood on her hands-- Morgan had come too far to make this stop, right? She would get to after and better and so would Erin. They just needed the dust to settle for a fucking minute.

“And it will be,” she said, firmly enough that it would sound like she believed it already.

“But what about right now? In my experience, you can either dance it out or cry it out. Where, you know, cry doubles as screaming. What are you feeling like tonight, doll?”

It will be. Erin could only nod and placed a hand on top of Morgan’s. Maybe it would be different for Morgan, maybe she’d get the satisfaction of putting to rest a lifetime of atrocities and pain for good when Constance was finally gone. It was all Erin wanted for her. It was what she deserved, frankly. And if this was how she had to go about getting it, getting her hands a little dirty, she could support her just as much as Morgan had. “It will be,” she repeated, more confident, even if it was partially pure bravado.

Morgan’s question rolled around in her mind as she took a long, slow sip. What did she want to do right now? She wanted to drink. She looked at the still nearly full bottle. Check. More crying sounded terrible and yelling wasn’t really her thing if she could prevent it. But she understood what Morgan was asking of her. A smirk lit up her features and she downed the rest of her glass. “Wait here,” was the only thing she said before unfurling herself from Morgan and the couch, moving with a sudden fire under her feet. When she reappeared with a box of clinking dishware, there was a pep in her step and an old field hockey stick under her arms. “Grab that bottle?” She nodded towards the bourbon. Didn’t wait for Morgan before hightailing it for the front door and took to the stairs that led to the roof. “Did I ever tell you I used to play field hockey in high school?” She let the box fall gently to the ground once they made their way up and she took a breath, that mischievous grin still lighting up her face. “And my mom left me some of the ugliest China I’ve ever seen in my life.” She dug into the box, pulling out the first mug her fingers touched. She’d been holding onto them for sentimental value she supposed but now? They just seemed… heavy. Unnecessary. “What’s that one lady say?” She asked, eyeing the mug as she held the stick up, lining up a trajectory. “If it doesn’t bring you joy—“ she tossed it into the air, swung, and shattered it into a dozen pieces across the rooftop.

That actually did feel pretty damn good. She laughed, really laughed, letting out a loud holler of a cheer for herself. Offered the stick to Morgan and reached for the bottle. “You’ve gotta try this.”

It took Morgan a while to put the pieces together. Bourbon, made sense. Field hockey stick, ugly china? Less so. But, “Uuh...okay, sure!” Outside, the world was full of stars and the sweet glow of light pollution from the common, like a candle had been struck and nestled under invisible glass. It was so picturesque, like a Hallmark Card. You wouldn’t guess how many people died or lost their lives and souls. You wouldn’t guess just how thoroughly you could be buried under the worst bullshit. Morgan came out of her thoughts just in time to see Erin taking the china and swinging it to pieces. “Ho-ly shit!” Morgan gaped. This wasn’t quite either of the avenues she’d thought of, but she’d be lying to herself if she said she hadn’t fantasized about playing another round of ‘zombie smash’ in the middle of her un-life crisis. And Erin’s smile was bigger than Morgan had seen it in a long time. She held out a finger for pause. “Oh, dollface, you gotta see this first,” she said, laughing with pride. She took one of the fragile teacups, held it up as if for a magic demonstration, and crushed it between her hands. “Now you see it, now you--don’t!” She laughed again, pleased with herself, then took the field hockey stick from Erin. “I don’t know why I’m surprised you were a jock butch in school,” she said, twirling it like a baton. “Crazy to think we thought a little lunchroom drama was the end of the world, huh?” She tried to repeat Erin’s move of tossing the dish into the air and hitting it to pieces, but the plate fell to the floor before she could take a swing. “I was more of an academic decathlon kind of kid,” she winced. Nerds, at least back in their day, were not especially known for their coordination. She took another, set it on the floor. “But what about...this!” She gave it a good thwack across the roof, cheering for herself when it shattered on one of the pipes. “Fuck everythiiiiing!” She cupped her hands like a sports announcer calling a goal or a point or whatever the hell it was. Another swing, another crash. “Let’s go team!”

“Oh, okay. Now you’re just showing off.” Erin cocked her head and laughed harder, watching the teacup practically disintegrate in her fingers. “That’s goth-butch-jock, thank you very much,” she corrected. God. It was even wilder to think that everything she was experiencing--the supernatural half of it, at least--was going on around her even back then. Weird things happened in White Crest, that had always been known. But there was no way she could have known what those weird things were or that she was living smack dab in the middle of it all. How she had survived this long unawares truly had been a wonder. “Yeah, that sounds about right. You’ve got some pretty strong nerd vibes,” she laughed, clapping and cheering along when she smashed the next piece. Laughter and the sound of shattering, destruction and joy existing hand in hand, filling the night air. She grabbed another cup, running her fingers along the smooth china. Broken things could still be good. “You’re more capable than you give yourself credit for though, you know.” Erin motioned for Morgan to get ready again, positioning herself at an angle where the blast radius wouldn’t nail her in the forehead. “Alright, you’ve got this, Morgan. Just don’t take your eyes off the prize.” When Morgan was ready, she started counting slowly. “1… 2… 3!”

[ds-sparrow-manufacturing-co]

A Rebuttal

Ok so I really did not want to make this post. I would’ve loved to have left this whole thing behind because I’m aware I made some mistakes and would like to atone for them, but it seems I’m going to have to go over this one more time. For anyone seeing this post who somehow doesn’t know, I said some regrettable things about Aidan Gallagher here. I later made another post here summarising the entire situation that resulted, so I would suggest you read that first. 

I’m still getting people telling me what I said was fucked up, which is entirely justified. However, I have just now realised that the person who took it upon themselves to ‘correct’ me about my opinions of Aidan Gallagher (something that has not changed, I still strongly dislike him) later made several derogatory posts about me. I was not aware of this because after the first rude post they made about me, I blocked them to save myself the additional stress. 

I have done my best to deal with this whole thing as calmly and politely as possible. When this person was downright evil towards me, I didn’t bother to argue with them, I just made an admittedly-snarky post with a screenshot of what they said, and then blocked them because I had no desire to begin an argument. When I realised that what I had said about Aidan Gallagher had been fucked up, I apologised, accepted my mistake and did what I could to fix it. But I am out of patience. I don’t take kindly to being treated the way this person has treated me, I don’t think anyone does. So here I am, about to break down everything they said about me bit by bit to show you how much of a lying scumbag they have been towards me (as well as possibly others).

warning: this post is incredibly long

tw: su*c*de mentions

My first interaction with this person was when i got an anon ask who wanted to know what Aidan Gallagher had done to make me dislike him. I responded with a brief list, excluding most of my evidence because it was late at night and I didn’t have the energy to go down the rabbit hole of all this. The following day, the blog this post is about reblogged my post, attempting to disprove everything I said. I will not include screenshots here, because it was a long post, you can find it in my archive if you so wish. I read what they said, took everything into account, and responded with my proof for things I hadn’t previously included the proof for, as well as explanations for why certain things he’s said annoyed/upset me. I expected a polite response, as we had both been courteous so far. 

Instead,  I received the following:

Now, lets break down some of what they said.

‘stop saying things you can’t prove, because it’s fake’ - I provided my proof. I am not trying to lie to anyone, or perpetuate rumours. All I aimed to do was explain my point of view and why I personally dislike him.

‘some of your screenshots are fake’ - That’s just blatantly untrue, especially as they have at other points said things along the lines of ‘well yes but he apologised/he didn’t mean it like that’ for everything I have provided screenshots for. Make up your mind.

‘you’re so gullible’ - For... having an opinion? That I researched before forming? And which is based on something other than my blind faith in a 17 year old? Right.

This was when I blocked them.

I thought that was going to be the end of the situation. Then, I got some asks.

I saw this and, being a minor, was a little creeped out. I had assumed this person was a teenage fangirl because that’s who the majority of Aidan Gallgher’s fans are so this information was surprising.

This one scared me. I did what the anon suggested, created a backup (i won’t tag it here because I get the feeling some of the aforementioned ‘army’ are going to see this) and reported the other blog. Once again, I thought it was over.

It was at this point that people started telling me how fucked up what I said in my original post was, and I realised they were right. As mentioned at the start of this post, I apologised, and did everything I could to fix it. End of, right?

Until today, where I started thinking about what the above anons had said and decided to fact check, mainly out of curiosity. I unblocked the blog, only to discover they had made 3 posts about me that I hadn’t seen.

This was the first one, as you can see they began it with a screenshot of my original post. Let’s talk about this.

“but you wishing him dead is ok?” - I never wished him dead, to start with. Stabbing does not automatically equal death, but I know that’s nitpicky of me. I also did not wish he was stabbed. I said in that exact tag that I didn’t, because of TUA. However, I know that this ‘joke’ was really shitty of me, and I have already apologised multiple times.

“what kind of a low life do you have to be to have nothing better to do, but talk shit about a kid?” - Why don’t you tell me? As I’ve said multiple times, I am a minor. That doesn’t excuse what I said, but that does make it incredibly hypocritical of them to say that given everything.

This was the second post they made about me, beginning with the same screenshot as in the first post.

“they’re spreading false rumors” - I’ve already covered this one.

“they want a reason to be mean, even if it isn’t true” - I would never be mean to someone if they hadn’t done anything to deserve it. I’m a strong believer in the moral philosophy of respecting everyone until they give you a reason not to. Aidan Gallagher has given me more than enough reasons to lose respect for him. And, honestly? I still respect him as an actor, even if only that.

“you can’t say you’re a decent human being and wish someone dead. you can’t say you’re anti-bullying and want to prevent suicide and then bully someone” - That is some big talk from someone who claimed they were ok with what Aidan Gallagher said about mental health because they’ve had their own experiences with suicide, before immediately telling me to rot and burn in hell for disagreeing with them. And, wait a second, wasn’t Aidan Gallagher the one supporting women’s rights and feminism who then turned around and made gross comments towards a bunch of girls? Hmm. Also, wishing someone dead is too wide of a blanket statement to actually measure whether someone is a decent human being with. 

“i tried to be nice” - I didn’t know telling someone to rot in hell, calling them a stupid hoe, was being nice. I didn’t know lying, and telling people to report someone because they disagreed with you was being nice (notice how they never said anything about my stabbing comment until I disagreed with them.) I guess we have very different definitions of nice.

“if they really cared, they would kindly ask a fan if the rumors were true” - And that, ladies gentleman and variations thereupon, is a brilliant example of how not to perform unbiased research! I based my opinion on actual evidence, and neutral articles as well as arguments from both sides. Not on one fan who’s likely to deny everything.

“they said it themselves, they have no proof” - That is so incredibly cherrypicked. What I actually said was “supposedly used the f-slur although i can’t find proof“, one of the many points on my list of reasons I dislike Aidan Gallagher. You know why I said that? Because I found a screenshot of him supposedly having called someone that slur via Instagram but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and decided it was probably edited. I included the point on my list in the hopes of people doing their own research. And I certainly did not say I had no proof for anything, as you would know if you saw my original response to this blog, where I provided proof.

“threatening him and bullying him is wrong” - I am fully admitting of the fact my stabbing comment was in poor taste but it was very clearly not a threat and not even close to being bullying. Furthermore, I would say making four posts harassing and telling others to harass someone because they disagree with you is a lot closer to being bullying than anything I did was.

“defamation is a crime” - I live in the UK, so let’s use those defamation laws. A statement is not defamation unless it ‘ has caused or is likely to cause serious harm to the reputation of the claimant.’ Less than a hundred people are even aware my blog exists. Nowhere near enough people have seen anything I’ve said to count as defamatory. Not to mention that a statement is not defamatory if it is a statement of opinion.

“you’ll get karma for lying and playing the victim” -  Ohhh the irony. I have not lied once. I have provided all the necessary proof for everything and I have owned up to my mistakes. And yet, they, who have repeatedly lied about me, twisted my words and oddly enough, avoided including proof outside that one screenshot of my original post, are the one accusing me of playing the victim. Classy.

“hi to your little follower that you cry to” - This one’s just hilarious to me. I’m happy to have people on here who will let me know when people are, you know, harassing and bullying me. And, what the hell do they mean by ‘cry to’? Do they mean ‘mentioned that this situation was stressful once’? Wow.

“I promise you misery for the rest of your sad little life” - Honestly just re-read the other screenshots after seeing they said this. Jesus Christ. And, as someone who already struggles with depression and other mental health issues I’m interested to know what they’re intending to do that’s gonna be any worse.

“you’ll pay! that’s not a threat it’s a promise” - Are they planning on tracking me down? Or are they just going to keep sitting on their throne of yes men and echo chambers acting as if they’re actually affecting me? 

I would say this is the last post I plan to make about this situation but I’ve said that over and over again throughout the last 12 days and it’s never the last post. This whole situation has honestly been very emotionally taxing, and combined with some real life things, it’s been a bad week or so. Hopefully this post is enough to end this whole thing. 

[marta-bee]

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

Sherlockians, I want to talk about Mary. Or not about Mary the character, because enough words have been spent on that topic and I’m nowhere near brave enough to wade into that one on a snowy Sunday afternoon, but rather on the way we as readers can (perhaps should) relate to her. At some level what follows is about this Tumblr post, where an anonymous commenter asked for “any fics where Mary’s not the bad guy” and noticed that a lot of the evil-Mary fanworks “gets a bit misogynistic in my opinion”; but I’m also using that as something of a springboard, and don’t mean this as a direct reply to that post. (Which is why I’m not replying in a reblog; please everyone go check out that post and comment on it as well.)

Anyway, let me start with two basic points that I hope are pretty noncontroversial.

Mary is an antagonist, at least some of the time.

Mary has at least some aspects of her character that are bad-making (more on what I mean by “bad-making” in a moment), or at least would be if she were a real person.

The devil’s in the details here, as it is with most things worth talking about, so let’s unpack that a bit.

(Long post is long, and so continued under the cut.)

When I say someone’s an antagonist, I’m not really making a value-judgment. I’m purposefully avoiding that word, “villain,” which calls to mind “villainous” as a description of their personality and character. An antagonist is just someone who plot-wise stands in opposition to the character. They’re wrapped up in the conflict our hero has to overcome.

Let’s take a pretty straightforward (and unrelated to our fandom, so hopefully less emotionally charged for a lot of us) example: the first “Hunger Games” book. Katniss is thrown into a gladiatorial fight to the death with twenty-three other teenagers. With the exception of Rue and (later in the games) Peeta, everyone else is an antagonist in relation to Katniss. She has to hope for their death and be prepared to kill them because their continued existence stands in the way of her surviving the games. Most are reduced to numbers with s knowing precious little about them – certainly not enough to think they deserve death. But they’re still antagonists because they’re obstacles the hero has to work past if she hopes to succeed.

Or take Draco Malfoy, in the early Harry Potter books. He’s a thoroughly unpleasant boy, spoiled and sniveling certainly, but I’d be hard-pressed to call him bad. His biggest defining characteristic is he stands up and tries to fight Harry; but often as not this comes down to inter-house squabbling and the only reason he and Harry are on opposite sides is how they were sorted. As we learn, given the way he was raised and the political situation he was raised in, it’s actually pretty admirable how on the periphery of the Death Eaters he stays. But he’s still the antagonist, he’s the one Harry has to outsmart or outperform or otherwise get around.

It's only natural we cheer when the antagonists fail. We’re primed to identify with the protagonist, after all, and their failure means the protagonist gets to win. Even if objectively know the antagonist doesn’t actually deserve to fail, well. That’s just kind of how stories work.

Getting back to Sherlock, I said it’s pretty noncontroversial that Mary’s an antagonist. So when I say that I don’t mean she’s evil, or even that she’s only an antagonist. But the woman shoots our star character in the chest. It’s her secrets and her very presence that drive Sherlock into exile (and drive Sherlock and John apart) for a second time, undoing whatever victory  Sherlock achieved when he defeated Moriarty’s web. She’s certainly a problem to be addressed and worked past in HLV. In terms of canon and parallels with the Doyle stories, there’s quite a lot about her actions (particular in Leinster Gardens) that all but screams “Sebastian Moran.” Ergo: antagonist.

There’s also a quieter, more ordinary sense that I suspect will be more controversial but is worth talking about anyway. Like a lot of Sherlockians and Johnlockers, I’m a big fan of making space for John/Mary/Sherlock in happy OT3 land. I think Sherlock and John at least want some version of that in canon; maybe not romantically, but they like to imagine their being room in their lives for these different relationships to not be in conflict. But in BBC-canon that hope’s not really borne out. This deserves a full meta on its own, but briefly: when Mary observes that neither she nor Sherlock were “the first” (talking about Sholto), she situates them in competition for the same position in John’s life, rather than in distinct, complementary ones (which an OT3 seems to require); and when Sherlock notes at the end of TSOT episode that “we can’t all three dance,” he seems to come to a similar conclusion. I do love me some good Johnlockary fic, but I don’t think this is where the show was heading

At a more basic level, I’d actually argue it almost has to be this way with these three- at least if we’re to hold on to John and Sherlock being “the two of us against the world.” In the 1800s men and women had such different roles in society, a man would do very different things and relate in very different ways to his close (male) friends than he would to his (female) wife. So Watson could run off with Holmes and have adventure, then return home to Mary for the peaceful, even loving family life, without one really being in tension with the other. But by the twenty-first century those spheres aren’t nearly so different. Even if you don’t imagine them as lovers, it’s hard not to imagine a self-respecting woman today saying as Mary did in TAB, “I don’t mind you going; I mind you leaving me behind.” One of the biggest challenges for a modern Holmes adaptation (or indeed, for a modern consumer of the original Doyle stories) is how to balance Holmes’ and Watson’s private “intimate partnership” – however we understand that term – against (John) Watson’s marriage to Mary with all we moderns expect of that relationship in terms of emotional fidelity, equal partnership, shared future, etc.

Put more simply: Mary should throw a monkey-wrench in the mix; she should be something that must be accounted for and whose presence should affect how Holmes and Watson can interact. Not to mean her presence is incompatible with Holmes and Watson’s close and exclusive relationship, but at a minimum she’s a factor in need of an explanation. She can’t help but be antagonistic, at least to some interpretations of Holmes’s and (John) Watson’s relationship.

As I said, with antagonists, it’s only natural to cheer for the protagonists, which almost inevitably means rooting for the protagonists’ failure. At least we root for them being de-antagonized, converted into some other relationship to the main character. But if you’ve spent any time on AO3, you’ve probably come across fanfic focusing on the antagonists (*cough* Loki *cough**cough* Drary *hacks up a longue* Silm-fandom-this-one’s-for-you *cough*’s). We can be a thirsty bunch when it comes to our antagonists, for characters we by all rights should be primed to hate. And even at the level of primary-canon, one of the biggest ways the primary creator shows their emotional growth is by realizing their antagonists aren’t truly their enemy. Like most readers I had a tear in my eye as Cato suffered through the night, begging for death; and certainly I would have been outraged if Harry hadn’t saved Draco from the Room of Requirements in “Deathly Hallows.” Gollum’s treachery is explained and he is given his own completion; Darth Vader is spared by Luke and allowed to look on his son with his own eyes; and the Klingons, Cardassians, and Borg are given their own sort of redemption in Worf, Garak, and Seven of Nine.

All of which is to say: it’s understandable, even natural, why people would have a hard time rooting for the antagonist, but there’s a long history of fandom peoples steering into the curve on this one. So it’s also understandable, even natural, that people want to hear stories with them at the center, both new stories about them and also versions of the original canon narrative that don’t need them to wear the black hat all the time. Some folks want Mary, Sherlock, and John to all go crime-solving together. I personally think there’s sometimes a danger of turning an antagonist – especially one who is at least morally gray (and I promise we’re getting there) like Mary is – into a protagonist without wrestling with what turned them into an antagonist in the first place; so if you want to bring Mary back to the side of John and Sherlock you need to grapple with what pushed them into opposing roles in the first place, or else risk your plot feeling “cheap” and unearned. (In fairness, this warning could as easily be directed to Mofftiss as anyone in fandom!)

But at an absolute minimum, I think it’s pretty obvious that lots of fans want to imagine the antagonists as at the heart of their own stories, and lots of fan-creators have done a really good job of providing those stories. Just as a lot of fans will almost instinctively be drawn to hate them, well, if you want to go a different path you’re in good company.

Enough about protagonist/antagonist, which as I said is more about the role the character fills in the story than about their morality or character. This, for me at least, is where it really gets interesting.

Before we get started, though, I know a lot of people struggle against this idea of morality when it applies to fictional characters and fictional stories. They’ll point out (rightly) that just because they enjoy a non-con PWP doesn’t mean they approve of rape in real life; that their reading preferences come from a different place entirely than their moral judgments. But at the same time, a lot of people (equally rightly) struggle to enjoy stories that glorify things we don’t consider worth glorifying. It’s one thing to enjoy a story about Draco rejecting the Death Eaters, returning to mainstream wizarding society and joining the Aurors; quite another to imagine him dating Harry while he’s still walking around calling Hermione a mudblood.

Or getting back to the Sherlock fandom, a lot of people are most comfortable with stories with Mary’s the antagonist because she’s got a character history and just personality traits where, if we met someone like her in real-life, we’d consider her morally bad. Or on the flip slide, those fans who want a not-evil!Mary in their stories often like to imagine her as the kind of person we’d describe as good or redeemed or some such thing, if she were an actual person. Mary’s morality, at least the morality of a similar person operating in the real world (because --speaking as a former philosophy Ph.D. student who taught philosophical ethics for years-- let me tell you: talking about the morality of fictional constructs gets very messy, very quickly), seems to matter to a great number of fans. So let’s talk about that.

I said above I thought most people would agree, Mary had parts o her character that were bad-making. What I mean is there are aspects about her that tend to make a person bad, unless they’re explained by some other factor. I’ve got in mind something vaguely similar to W.D. Ross’s theories of prima facie duties (if any of you studied this in your Ethics 101 courses- you would have in mine). Basically, the idea is we have all these duties that apply to us, but they can seem to conflict, and we may decide (rightly) in any given situation that one or the other is the more important one for us to follow. The classic example is the duty to keep our promises and prevent suffering when we can. You can imagine situations where you can’t do both- for instance, if I promised to meet you for lunch and on my way to the restaurant came across a man who fell into a ditch and twisted his ankle along a deserted road, where it’s unlikely someone else would come upon him. If I stop to help him I’ll miss our lunch date and break my promise; and while I still have a duty to keep that promise, I think most people would agree it’s more important to stop and help the person. We’d all be hard-pressed to say if I helped the stranger, I’d failed at my duty to keep a promise; at least not in the same way as if I could have kept that promise and just chose not to. That’s Ross’s idea of prima facie duties: that we have all these general obligations on us, but which actually should govern our choices in any particular instance comes down to the details of that situation.

I think there’s something similar going on with Mary’s character. This is actually a good way to evaluate most of us morally, in my opinion, but it’s doubly useful when it comes to Mary because she’s simultaneously got so many troubling aspects about her that just demand some sort of justification, but at the same time, because Mofftiss really screwed the pooch here, we don’t really have the information we need to give a definitive answer. So it’s useful to say: here’s something about Mary that needs accounting for, even if we don’t have enough information to evaluate her definitively.

Let’s take Magnussen’s biggest accusation against her: “All those wet jobs.” Mary killed people on her own prerogative, and she left behind a lot of grieving relatives who would love their revenge – both a testament to the suffering she caused, and a real risk for John, the baby that will become Rosie, and everyone else in their orbit. But if that’s all there is to it, it’s not wholly dissimilar to John’s decision to shoot the cabbie. It may have been different, but we don’t have the information to know that; it feels different, but most because John was saving Sherlock (who we know), whereas if Mary was saving anyone, it’s not someone we the viewer have an emotional connection to. Still, to borrow a phrase from Ricky Ricardo, Mary, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.

Or to take an even more serious charge, Mary shot Sherlock, was prepared to make John watch him die all over again and force him to go through that grief that so nearly destroyed him the first time around. Unforgiveable, yeah? The best shot at justification here is that Mary had somehow got herself cornered, so that shooting Sherlock was somehow an attempt to escape an even worse sitation. This really demands a full meta to dive in to, but very briefly, I think Mary never intended to kill Magnussen and was instead trying to intimidate him; meaning she couldn’t let Sherlock undercut her power, but equally she couldn’t leave Magnussen with the impression that John and Sherlock were somehow her partners; so shooting Sherlock was the best way to keep him from becoming a full target of Magnussen’s. If that’s the case, the whole showdown in Magnussen’s office becomes markedly similar to Sherlock’s decision to “kill” himself on the roof of St. Bart’s. Mary is willing to cause a lot of pain to avoid even greater destruction, but at the same time, the whole situation that compels this choice was fed by her limiting her options when she decided to intimidate Magnussen. Similar to how Sherlock, once he’s on the roof of St. Bart’s, has no better option than to fake his own death and leave John to grieve; but how he does have some degree of culpability for engaging Moriarty in the first place and egging on Moriarty’s destructive obsession with Sherlock.

My point isn’t that any of these parallels really hold up to scrutiny. Sherlock risked his own life in TRF (and John’s pain) while Mary was prepared to kill another. John was ready to kill “a bad man” to save our hero while whatever murders Mary committed were against unnamed people in undetermined circumstances, and narratively certainly don’t pull at or heart strings in the same way John’s heroic killing of Jefferson Hope does. But the point is, with Mary, so much of what a lot of fans object to involve these vaguely-told stories where whatever factors would excuse her actions just are left untold. What we can say definitively is “all those wet jobs” require justification. Mary’s willingness to shoot Sherlock require justification. These things are prima facie wrong (or bad-making, the kind of things that tend to make something bad in the absence of other explanations) and demand an accounting for.

I’m focusing on Mary’s violence more than what a lot of fans have identified as her abuse toward John. Partly, this is personal: I have my own experience with abusive relationships and don’t entirely trust my ability to parse similar dynamics in fiction; certainly I don’t want to tie that part of my past to public debate, and I’ve not worked out how to talk about Mary and John without over-personalizing it. But I will say, there’s a lot to be considered on that front as well, and people interested in thinking through Mary’s im/morality shouldn’t ignore it. As a starting point, inevity-johnlocked pointed to several of her old posts making the case that Mary was an emotional abuser. silentauroriamthereal’s fic “Rebuilding Rome” looks at a lot of these issues in a really powerful way if you’re looking for an exploration in fic form. I’ll just add, even if I thought Mary was justified and so “good” in some sense (and my internal compass is so screwed up, I’m not really qualified to tell at this point), the way she chose or had to lie about her past to John seems a particularly bad match for a man like him with his trust issues. So even if you think Mary is good, there’s a lot of justification for saying she’s still not good for him.

So what does this mean for reading fics involving a kinder, gentler Mary? First, I’d emphasize there’s no shame or judgment in reading what you want. Much as writers may choose to write about all kinds of things they’d disapprove of in real life, readers have that same freedom to scratch whatever readerly itch they like, with no need to defend that to anyone else. Kinktomato and all that. On the other hand, I know I personally enjoy stories more when I can lose myself in them, and – again, for me personally – it helps me do that if my values are at least compatible with what’s presented as praiseworthy. I don’t have to guard myself as I enter the story. So it’s definitely worth thinking about how comfortable you are with fiction that vilifies Mary or pardons her or something in between, because it may make it easier or harder to really immerse yourself in a fic.

Then again, maybe that’s just me. I am a rather persnickety chickadee with things like this.

I do know that many fandoms have an unfortunate history of coming down hard on the female competition to a popular slash ship. While I’m reluctant to apply “should”s to our consumption of fiction, I think there are genuine feminist concerns here. Not with thinking Mary’s bad/evil or even hating her, but hating her for the wrong. For me, it helps to imagine another character doing something similar, and think about why I would react differently if it was someone other than Mary doing the deed. Also to be aware of the details canon doesn’t answer decisively or answers different ways in different episodes.

(More than most characters, Mary does suffer from a really inconsistent characterization. I’ve often wondered if everything since HLV was Sherlock or whomever trying on different frameworks for her personality/psychology/what-have-you, to see which could account for what she did to him. First she’s a badass villain, then a Mycroftian operative, then a martyr, then a worldclass manipulator, and finally a sanctifier whose own personality was irrelevant, giving her imprimatur from beyond the grave. And that’s without throwing veteran/maths genius and happy homemaker into the bunch. Maybe the showrunners simply weren’t sure what they wanted to do with her. Whatever the situation, I do think we need to be careful about taking any one canon detail at face-value, especially with her.)

I’m also a little discomfited by this trend I’ve seen among Johnlockers, to write Mary as a monster as a way to lessen John’s pain at her… betrayal, I guess? Or just the loss at her death? I remember when a lot of fanfic authors back between S3 & S4 wrote about the baby being fake; or even after S4, as part of John’s “alibi” rather than a true detail. Or even just deciding the baby was David’s or some such. By itself, that could have been really interesting, but what I saw so often happening was people used that as a way to remove the complication of the baby. Or to let John skip the grief he’d feel if the baby wasn’t born healthy- for instance, if it didn’t exist, or died, or if Mary was killed or ran while she was still pregnant. The basic theme was if Mary didn’t deserve John’s pain, John didn’t have to hurt for so long or as deeply.

Complicated grief is a thing, though, and for a lot of people, grieving the loss of someone who hurt them and aren’t “worth” their pain seem to suffer worse and for longer, particularly if they also have to grieve the lost opportunity to make their peace with the person while they were alive. This doesn’t mean fanfic writers or readers have to give us some kind of sanitized Mary; certainly she has the potential to be a true east wind of a character. But I do think there’s a tendency to prefer a more evil Mary because this lets the story move past her or spares John some suffering often won’t feel true. It also runs the risk of disrespecting the suffering of people impacted by these kinds of losses. So while I think this kind of characterization can be really interesting and compelling, it also takes a lot of skill and thoughtfulness to do it well. Here be dragons.

For me, though, the point isn’t to be proscriptive, to say Sherlock fic writers and readers need to limit themselves to a particular read of Mary. Her character has such potential to give birth to such a wide range of fic. As a viewer of the show I wish the writers and other creators had given us more of a sense of who she was because I think it really contributes to my frustration with not understanding the story they were trying to tell. But as a (kinda-sorta-someday-once-again) fic writer, it’s a true embarrassment of riches. The trick, for those of us concerned about Mary’s ethics were she a real person, is to be aware of the dangers of reading her character certain ways and to be cautious around them if we want to play with those interpretations.

[creepercraftguy]

If Danganronpa: Another Despair Academy had an English cast

So I recently made a post very similar to this where I talked about who a hypothetical English voice cast for Our World Is Ended would be. I kind of enjoyed making that post, so I decided to do something similar with the cast of a Danganronpa fan game that has been featured prominently on my chanel and that’s the Danganronpa: Another series. Being a Korean fan game, the original dub of Danganronpa Another has barely any dialogue to speak of. In fact, the only two characters in the series who speak often are Yuki and Sora, the protagonists of the two games, but that’s when they’re in trials. As of right now, a group of people is working on an English dub for the second game. This is why I’m specifically going to talk about the first game in the series, and bare in mind 2 things.

1) There will be some pretty heavy spoilers that I talk about in this post, so if you’re going to read it, please play the game, watch a playthrough or read up on it first.

2) If by any chance the first game gets a dub and the following people I do mention end up voicing the characters, I assure you it is purely coincidental. I wouldn’t even call this a hypothetical scenario so much as I’d call it a basic thought process of my weird weird mind.

Without further ado, let’s begin.

Yuki Maeda: Yuri Lowenthal

In the current dub for the second game, Yuki is being voiced by a user by the name of Soluri, who is pretty talented in their right, but my thought process for an alternative voice actor would be this. Yuki as a protagonist takes a very similar standing as Makoto Naegi and Hajime Hinata, whom are voiced by Bryce Papenbrook and Johnny Yong Bosch respectively, so if I was given a choice to choose who could voice act him, then I think Yuri Lowenthal would be a fitting choice, since he’s also often voiced protagonists. Being someone who often does work in famous franchises, his voice work includes Marth from Fire Emblem, Yosuke Hanamura in Persona, Ben Tennyson in many Ben 10 works, Klavier Gavin in Ace Attorney, Simon in Gurren Lagann and Suzaku from Code Geass. However, he’d also be a fitting choice since I believe he’d be able to do a good job as both the somwhat cowardly and submissive Yuki as well as the mysterious and somewhat stoically dangerous Utsuro, as he is also the main VA for Sasuke in Naruto and Alucard in Castlevania. 

Akane Taira: Monica Rial

Akane’s basic character throughout the majority of the game is that she’s lighthearted and even though the killing game is getting to her just as much as everyone else, she still finds a way to lighten the atmosphere, and is a usually cheery and kind person, if a little scary when angry. However, her true nature is something much more freakish, being, in actuality, the mastermind behind the aforementioned killing game that she spends a lot of the game seemingly fighting against. For an English VA, I think the best bet is Monica Rial, who has previously voiced in Danganronpa as Sayaka Maizono in the Danganronpa anime. The reason for my choice is she has previously voiced usually nice, if a little stern, characters like Bulma from Dragon Ball, Tsuyu Asui from My Hero Academia, May Chang from Full Metal Alchemist, Tsubaki from Soul Eater, Kayano from Assassination Classroom, Mirajane Strauss from Fairy Tale and Sakura from CardCaptor Sakura. However, she’s not one to shy away from maniacal villains, or generally creepy characters either, also voicing Tanya from Saga of Tanya the Evil, Krul Tepes from Seraph of the End or Stocking from Panty and Stocking. Also doing the voice of Misaki Ayuzawa from Maid Sama and Mey-rin in Black Butler, she’s not new to voicing maid characters.

Tsurugi Kinjo: Crispin Freeman

Having already done voice work in a main Danganronpa game, albeit for a very unlikable character, I ruled out Matthew Mercer for this one. I can only really describe Tsurugi as the Nagito Komaeda of this series. He has good intentions, but a really messed up way of thinking, even at times quite self-deprecating and reflecting on his own incapabilities to stop the killing game and catch the mastermind. Like I already said, he seems like he’d be voiced by a deep voiced character like Matt Mercer, but when it comes to characters like that, Crispin Freeman is a safe bet. Some of the rightous and/or badass characters that he’s lent his voice to include Winston from Overwatch, Kyon in the Haruhi Suzumiya series, Tsume in Wolf’s Rain and more, but can also do a pretty good crazy character every once in a while, like Alucard from Hellsing, Itachi Uchiha from Naruto and Firefly in the Batman Arkham Series.

Rei Mekaru: Laura Post

Admittedly, I was considering Monica Rial for this crude and shrewd character too. Mature and professional to a fault, barely showing any sort of real emotion and often insulting the other killing game participants for seemingly no reason, Rei is basically Another 2′s Byakuya Togami, intelligent, but rude. Having previously voiced condescending characters, Laura Post is a pretty good choice. I’m referring mostly to characters like Kill La Kill’s Ragyo Kiryuin and Fubuki/Blizzard from Hell from One Punch Man, as well as Diana Cavendish from Little Witch Academia and one of her first ever performances, Queen Nehelenia from Sailor Moon. However, Laura Post has also voiced rather gentle and friendly characters before, which would be a good way to highlight Rei’s secret soft side. Characters like Nozomi Tojo from Love Live and her most recent role, Kasumi Yoshizawa from Persona 5 Royal.

Haruhiko “Haru”  Kobashikawa: Sam Riegal

The minute I was introduced to him, I immediately thought, “Ok, he’s going to be the Kazuichi of this game isn’t he?” And to be honest, I don’t think I was that far off. However, even so, he seems more like Kaito if Kaito wasn’t necessarily a central character. Haru’s important, but he’s on the same level of importance as a character like say...Game 1 Toko. A sociable person who’s only goal is to get along well with everyone, he’s cheerful, laid back and more often than not pretty amusing to watch. Someone I believe to be fit for the role, having previously voiced a repertoire of pretty dorky and likeable characters, is Sam Riegal. By that, I mean he’s done the voice work of Teddy from Persona, Phoenix Wright in Ace Attorney, Emperor Awesome in Wander of Yonder,  Kanata from Trinity Universe, Shirou Emiya from Fate/Stay Night and Donatello in a large number of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles works.

Teruya Otori: Kyle McCarly

Teruya is a character that returns for the second game, and his voice actor in that is NuzikVA. I was really stuck on this one, since Yuri Lowenthal, whom I picked for Yuki, was my main option for Teruya too, but my second option for him would be just as viable. One of Teruya’s most important aspects to his character is that he has a pretty unique western accent despite being Japanese, since his Ultimate Merchant talent means he’s travelled the world and picked up on a few things. On top of that, he’s pretty adorkable and a little childish. I’ve heard Yuri Lowenthal do accents before, which is why I considered it, but I figured anything Yuri Lowenthal can do, Kyle McCarly can do just as well, if not better. He’s a voice actor who’s lines are packed full of expression and some of his previous work includes 9S from Neir: Automata, Hyde in Cross Tag Battle, Hal in Astral Chain, Gatekeeper in Fire Emblem Three Houses and Narancia in JoJo Part 5.

Satsuki Iranami: Deva Marie Gregory

While she was a character that I found initially very irritating and she was definitely the one I had to warm to the most, I won’t deny that Satsuki Iranami is like 70% of the humour and happiness in this game. Similarly to Ibuki, she tends to act childish and make jokes in very tense situations and as described by Yuki as “a person that makes you tired just by talking with her” or something along those lines. Now, this might seem like a pretty obscure and strange choice for a VA, but my choice for a voice is Deva Marie Gregory. It’s obscure, since she is relatively new to the voice acting industry, only voicing one character in one franchise so far. However, that character is Flayn from Fire Emblem Three Houses, arguably one of the characters with the more comedic dialogue. I can totally picture her playing an “In-your-face” practical joker character like Satsuki, making common wisecracks, and it’s something I’d really like to bear witness to.

Mitsuhiro “Mitch” Higa: Joe Brogie

Possibly my least favourite character in this game, he’s essentially a worse version of Leon Kuwata from the first game. He’s genuinely kind of a chill guy, but his status as the Ultimate Soccer Player and his world fame makes him more than a little arrogant and cocky and often ignores people who he doesn’t care for. Joe Brogie is my choice for him, despite being a relatively new voice actor. His previous work includes the player character from God Eater 3, Linus from Fire Emblem Heroes, Donatello from Injustice 2 and Sylvain Jose Gautier from Fire Emblem Three Houses. However, despite his few roles and lacking history of voices, he’s talented and capable nonetheless. 

Kizuna Tomori: Tia Ballard

Kizuna can be described in the following words: Cutesy, flirtatious and distrustful. I know those phrases sound mutually exclusive to each other, but trust me, it’s true. Obviously, her nature just changes depending on the situation, since she’s lighthearted and merry more often than not, but in a tense situation becomes suspicious, snappy and even physically violent. I picture her having a high voice, and when taking her character into account, I think the best bet is Tia Ballard. The main reason for my choice is that Tia’s most common voices belong to generally “moe” anime girls, but she voices them in a way that doesn’t sound annoyingly high pitched like how Stephanie Sheh does with Mikan in Danganronpa 2. If Ballard voiced Kizuna, she could pretty much perfectly land the “cutesy at first, but angry when provoked” attitude that Kizuna has. Some of her previous work includes Marron from Dragon Ball, Happy from Fairy Tail, Chiho Sasaki from The Devil is a Part Timer, Takao from D-Frag, Zero Two from Darling in the Franxx and has actually voiced in Danganronpa previously as Daisaku Bandai in Danganronpa 3.

Mikako Kurokawa: Brittany Cox

Extremely similarly to my choice for Satsuki, my choice for Mikako has also only ever been in one game, and it’s the same game as my choice for Satsuki actually. Mikako is a quiet person and she isn’t much of a talker, and when she does she sticks to short replies after long periods of silence, often causing people to forget she's around or becoming surprised when she eventually speaks up. She is unresponsive in a conversation and avoids making eye contact with anyone she talks to which seems rude, but her past explains why. The character Brittany Cox plays in Three Houses is Ingrid Galatea, who is generally a pretty merry, if a little serious and motherly, character, who’s personality isn’t a quiet one. However, while her voice acting is really good, Brittany Cox has a bit of a stoic, monotone and quiet voice, that I believe would fit Mikako perfectly.

Kinji Uehara: Robbie Daymond

There were a few reasons why I chose this person for this characters voice, but I’ll talk about those in a moment. Kinji is the good type of priest, one who is serious and quiet, but is a good listener, and respectful of people to a point where he doesn’t force his religious ideals onto others. However, when put under immense amounts of pressure, he can break down and turn somewhat psychotic. Hence my choice for his voice actor. Robbie Daymond is a personal favourite of mine, since he has a special talent of playing characters such as Goro Akechi and Hubert Vestra, from Persona and Three Houses respectively; characters who for the most part are calm, reserved, quiet and in Akechi’s case, somewhat kind. However, after certain points in the games stories, the two characters turn inexplicably evil and crazy, and the voice work and the shift in tone has such an amazing range that it’s hard to believe it’s the same guy. Seriously, look up Daymond’s work as Akechi, it’s honestly amazing and is the type of voice I’d honestly expect for Kinji when he breaks down. Alongside those two roles, Daymond also voices Prompto in Final Fantasy 15, Reinhard in RE:Zero, Professor Willow in Pokemon, Gilthunder in Nanatsu No Taizai and Mumen Rider in One Punch Man.

Kiyoka Maki: Colleen Clinkenbeard

A girl with a personality that doesn’t match her talent, Kiyoka Maki is outgoing and carefree and doesn’t have an awful lot of care for her talent, being way more interested in more effeminate things than guns. When I first saw Kiyoka and was introduced to her character, for some reason I thought “This is the type of character Colleen Clinkenbeard would voice.” Originally I was going to cast Clinkenbeard as Teruya before I realised Teruya wouldn’t necessarily have a child-like voice. Clinkenbeard however, does have experience of voicing male anime characters, and a lot of characters that scream a lot, Monkey D. Luffy from One Piece and Young Gohan being the prime examples. Alongside that, she’s also voiced another gunslinger in Full Metal Alchemist as Riza Hawkeye, as well as Momo Yaoyorozu in My Hero Academia, Rachel Moore in Case Closed, Erza Scarlet in Fairy Tail and previously in Danganronpa 3 as the loveable Chisa Yukizome.

Ayame Hatano: Karen Strassman

Ayame is a stoic and strong-willed person. Although she appears to be perfectly calm in most situations, she admits that she can be awkward especially during conversations, and as a result, she has a tendency to ramble and wander off in her own, or not talk much at all. To me, she seems like a character that someone like Karen Strassman would lend her voice to, since she’s played several characters with those personality traits before. To name a few, there’s Aigis and Nanako from Persona and she’s also voiced Anna in several Fire Emblem games. She’s also played Kallen Stadtfeld in Code Geass, Miyuki Takara in Lucky Star and Rouge the Bat in several Sonic the Hedghog games.

Kanata Inori: Felicia Angelle

I was also considering casting Tia Ballard for this character too, but unlike Kizuna, Kanata genuinely seems like a moe character that would have a high voice. Kanata is a sweet girl who wishes nothing more than the comfort of her patients and everyone else around her. Exceedingly formal and polite, she addresses her classmates as Mr or Ms, like how Hifumi Yamada does in the first game. My choice for her is Felicia Angelle, who’s repertoire consists of both cute and geeky anime girls, as well a little bit of the scary stuff too. This includes Tohru Hagakure from My Hero Academia, Perona from One Piece, The Supreme Kai of Time from Dragon Ball Xenoverse, Shinoa Hiragi from Seraph of the end, Shaltear from Overlord, Georgie from Maid Dragon and has previously been in the Danganronpa anime, playing Aoi Asahina.

Kakeru Yamaguchi: J Michael Tatum

I have a pretty good reason for this cast. Becoming a legal prodigy when he was quite young, Kakeru is a character who seems to have a split personality, but on a level way less extreme than that of Toko Fukawa. Essentially, he’s usually quite a timid and shy person, that finds it hard to hold a conversation, but when he’s in the courtroom or a class trial, he becomes quite loud and brash in a way similar to that of Nekomaru in the second game. His personality reminds me that of characters like Tenya Iida from My Hero Academia and Rei Ryugazaki from Free! both of whom are voiced by J Michal Tatum, whom is my choice for Kakeru. Tatum has also voiced Zarbon from Dragon Ball, Commander Erwin from Attack on Titan, Rintaro Okabe from Steins:Gate, Scar from Full Metal Alchemist, France from Hetalia and Sebastian from Black Butler.

Yamato Kisaragi: Max Mittleman

Yamato is almost as crazy an inventor as Miu, sans the whole sexual and perverted invention parts. Being a character who’s introduced a little later into the story, Yamato is pretty quirky, energetic and honestly friendly, but that leads people to be a little doubtful of him, Tsurugi in particular. His energetic character and his genuine feel make me think that someone who could voice him is Max Mittleman. Mittleman’s previous voices include Plag from Miraculous Ladybug, Ryuji Sakamoto from Persona, Saitama from One Punch Man, King from Natatsu No Taizai, Meruem in HunterXHunter and more

So that’s what I got. If you liked this, then leave me a heart and repost if you want. If you have any other recommendations for Japanese exclusive projects I should assign voice actors to, then let me know.

[elencelebrindal]

Honest Opinion - Perseus Algol

His name change isn’t too bad in Italy. Argor instead of Algol. That’s it. 

Also (since someone pointed out - not so politely - to me a lot of stuff I wrote in this series is wrong because “the manga doesn’t say that”), let’s reinforce what I’ve already said in previous entries: this series is anime-based, it has nothing to do with the manga, so every opinion is constructed around the characters in the animated series. Please, don’t send hate messages if you don’t know the entire story behind something. If this doesn’t clear how this series work, I will make a separate post to explain it better, but please don’t just attack people. There’s already enough going on in the world as of now, being rude only makes things worse. 

Overall score (character, not looks): 10/10

Can you tell from the score he’s one of my favorite Silver Saints? Because if you can’t, let me tell you: Perseus Algol is, and will always be, one of my favorites.  Why, if he has just a handful of screentime? Well, because three seconds of screentime is all I have for the majority of them, and I loved Algol more than anyone else. Sort of.  I just enjoy “villains” (yeah, he’s not a villain, he’s just a plain old bastard) with psycho and aggressive tendencies. Maybe I should start worrying about myself. This has gotten out of hand.

Anyway, Algol. A huge part of the reason why I love this Saint is the Medusa Shield. Medusa’s myth is among the ones I almost know from memory, and I quite enjoy all the representation given to that woman (especially by people who take into account Poseidon was the real bitch in the myth and not her). In short, Medusa and her petrifying ability have a place in my favorite myths and stories.  Let’s be real, Athena turned her into a “monster” as a gift for her to use as defense.

But I digress.  Algol is, quite honestly, the worst when it comes to what I deem the proper nature of a Saint. He’s cruel, more than Aphrodite I think (we all know everyone fears Aphrodite more than anyone just because he’s a Gold Saint, he’s not the only one able to be wicked), and he doesn’t care about other people’s lives.  It’s obvious and it’s shown to us during the series, when he goes against Aiolia and not only petrifies those kids running away, but also destroyed the statues. Permanently killing them in the process. 

Though, if he was just that, just a man lusting after blood, he would definitely not be a good character. Let alone a good Saint. Because Algol, from his malice, knows how to follow orders, and is a valuable warrior. As a Saint, he followed what he was supposed to do, with his personality not being mitigated thanks to an evil Pope. From what I believe, Algol might be an awful person, full of himself and merciless, but he’s also a faithful Saint.  It’s the course of events that mainly made him look bad; one thing is personality, and another is orders from above. 

I’m sure he would have followed “good” orders, he wouldn’t be a Saint if he wasn’t able to perform various tasks and not just be a killing machine. But he needed to kill the Bronze Saints, and he gave his all to fulfill that order.  To me, that’s a dedicated Saint. 

[Dub digression]

Hopefully efficient. Remember when I said that the Italian dub has some issues with characters’ voices? Well, this is one instance. Because Algol has two different voice actors in the classic series. If you ask me why, I cannot tell you. Maybe it was technical issues, maybe something else. The dub is pretty old, I would be way more surprised if they didn’t have some sort of problem with voicing tons of characters, some of them recurring only every once in a while.  I am obviously annoyed by the fact he has two different voices; objectively speaking, the voice actors were good, but noto good for him. In terms of quality, it was amazing. In terms of continuity and suitability, well... eh. Fail. I know this might have been caused by an inability to keep calling voice actors in, especially if you take into account how weird is Saint Seiya with characters appearing one episode for like five minutes, disappearing for half the series, and then suddenly coming back for longer scenes. 

These voice actors are Maurizio Scattorin (ep. 26-46) and Paolo Marchese (ep. 27). Funnily enough, the first is also a voice for Gemini Saga in the classic series, while the second voices his brother, Gemini Kanon. I don’t know why, but it makes me laugh.  Maurizio Scattorin is here --> Argor di Perseo pietrifica i tre fuggitivi Paolo Marchese is here --> Lo Scudo di Medusa

[End of the dub digression]

On top of that, he’s an incredibile fighter. Algol, despite his plot-driven defeat, actually showed the strength of a Silver Saint. He didn’t go down immediately against the Bronzes. Rather, he was the one on the winner’s side, making quick work of them.  He knows how to use his cosmo, how to properly manage his shield, and was stronger than his adversaries. 

What made him lose wasn’t weakness. He lost because, used to people not figuring out how to avoid being petrified, when Shiryu understood how win he panicked.  He clearly panicked, thus losing control of the situation, and Shiryu broke his shield before dealing the final blow. Had he not fell into his own confusion and fear, Algol would have won. On a logical examination of the fight, at least; he would have still lost thanks to the plot, but that’s entirely a different reason. 

Also, he’s clever. There is a reason why he destroys the statues left behind during his fights; to avoid those people coming back for his head, should the shield end up broken.  This instance is only showed once in the series, but it’s pretty obvious it’s something he does, at least in my opinion. 

I’m mad this character didn’t get more than a couple scenes. Maybe more than any other Silver Saints, he deserved better. 

[matriarca-inodora]

30 Days, Day 13: What modern cultural issues are closest to this deity’s heart?

YES I`M STILL DOING THOSE. I apologize for the delay, but my mind has not always been 100% these days.

I won`t lie, I was really looking forward to this one. Hopefully I have managed to write this in a way that won`t sound like I`m just talking about stuff that matters to *me* without any relation to Apollo. Obviously those are issues I care about, which is why I`ll be talking about them, instead of a myriad of other things that are related to Apollo. As usual, the classic disclaimer: Apollo is in so many things my mortal brain can`t even fathom trying to cover more than my fair share.

I`ll try to explain how each of the issues relate to him, in my perspective. So buckle up and let`s dive in!  I`m exceptionally verbose today, sorry about that

I personally believe it`s incoherent to follow this path (or any path for that matter) and ignore the injustice in the world. It`s a path of reason, of trying to grasp the world and oneself, trying to find beauty in reality, not negating it, trying to create harmony and beauty where we see it`s lacking. Summing up, trying to make the world a better place through reason, through art, through caring for one another and being a decent person. So, where is Apollo in all of this?

I remind you once again, I would never dare to say I know what is important to a god. All I can offer are my own thoughts, based on how I understand him. That being said, there are many cultural and social issues I believe Apollo cares about. I can`t possibly list them all…unfortunately there are too many unresolved issues in the world! but I will cover the ones that seem most relevant to me at the moment.

The first one is one we are all living now: access to healthcare.

We live in a time where science and reason (which I personally see as one of Apollo`s domains) have given us the chance to expand our possibilities as a species. We constantly strive for new ways to help others, be it by curing illnesses or providing quality of life. It`s a difficult endeavour, to say the least, but an essential one. What to say of the disparities regarding access to all of this? It`s completely nonsensical, it`s against the very core of what it means to care for others. I know the logistics are a lot more complicated than my idealism would like them to be, but still…there`s more than just logistics hindering universal access to healthcare. There is malice, ill intent, and it`s absurd to turn a blind eye on that.

At the end of the day, we are all humans. We are all mortal, we can all get sick and suffer, lose everything we thought was so certain and stable. So why should only some of us get the chance to be soothed, aided? Why are so many left behind, without their right to dignity and care? That`s the worst offence of all, it`s denying our own humanity, either by putting ourselves above it, or others below it.

I won`t give my opinion as to how Apollo is related to the pandemic … because I don`t have one, it`s way too large a scale for me to fathom understanding. But I do think we need to learn from this situation, see our own mistakes, and work on correcting them, because the flaws that are now more visible than ever are just to grave to remain as they are. That goes for most countries, I think, in one way or another.

The second one: working against ignorance and obscurantism 

The second matter I feel has a strong connection to Apollo is to strive towards understanding, reason, science popularisation and the fight against obscurantism. Now, I know it might sound odd to some that I, someone who is a polytheist, would say “use your brain, look for evidence”. Most Western cultures oppose spirituality and scientific reasoning, but trust me when I say I only believe what I do because I have had experiences that no other type of evidence could account for. Which is also why I know it`s subjective and never claim that I *know* any of this to be true. I believe in it, that`s all.

Now, that aside, I see Apollo in the fight against obscurantism. I`m not sure how it`s like in other countries, but in my home country, things are getting out of hand. Once again, maybe the greatest villain is dehumanisation. It`s not so much those who are ignorant thanks to the lack of balance and opportunity. No, it`s those who willingly spread lies, who willingly allow for thousands to get hurt. Claiming vaccines don`t work. Claiming they know the true way to fight cancer. Claiming pollution and toxic waste won`t harm anyone. Claiming scientists are evil and work against morality. Those are all things I`ve heard, I`m not making this shit up, and I`m sure at least those of you living in Brazil have heard such things before. I see Apollo in those trying to show how things work. Not just saying “science is better”, but actually showing how they know what they know. Teaching people to think for themselves, to arrive at their own conclusions. That`s what I mean when I say Apollo stands for reason.

The third one: in defence of Humanities

The third matter I associate with Apollo is the importance of humanities and social sciences. Now, this might be a somewhat localised issue, but it`s also urgent. In my home country, humanities get a lot of trash. People say humanity majors don`t contribute to society, that their research is useless, a waste of federal resources, a bunch of people trying to corrupt youth , so on and so forth. Why do I think this matters? Well, to say Philosophy, History, Arts and so on are “useless” is to undermine the core of what makes us who we are. It`s, once again, obscurantism and reductionistic. It`s an ancient problem, tied to a view of productivity as something that is based on material needs, and which in a way, depends on our ignorance on what we believe truly matters. What about your mind, what about yourself as a person? What about ourselves as a society? Should we go on with our lives unexamined? This is the design for catastrophe, it`s allowing for malicious people to take over. As someone who majored in Literature, it makes my blood boil to se people treat these areas like they are just decorative.

In a weird way, in the current situation, I`ve seen people talk about this for the first time in ages. So many people feel emptiness in their lives, they feel lost and don`t know how to examine their own choices. And where do they turn to? Music, films, literature, animation, podcasts, discussions… this is all humanities, folks. There`s more to it, too, of course, but I don`t want to make this post even longer than it already is. Besides the quest for knowledge, these areas are essential for trying to understand human life and for striving for better quality of life for us all. It goes without saying that all other areas are important too. I`m only talking about humanities because it seems like they get the short end of the stick most of the time.

There are other issues I think Apollo is definitely a part of. But I`m not in a position to talk about them without sounding silly or superficial. So please, if you want to contribute with your own view on this, be my guest!

Wish you all a nice day, wherever you are. Stay safe!