#it's so creepy and uncomfy and i love it so fucking much

[crmsndragonwngss]

People Watching (2024) by 156/Silence SharpTone Records

Full res scans (300dpi)

[infictionalwonderland]

. . . fred weasley with it girl veela girlfriend (you, bitch!)

babe.

he is your biggest fucking fan

drooling and wide eyes when he even HEARS the click of ur cunty shoes xxx

genuinely stand by the fact he has shirts with ur face on

to him, you’re everything & more

no1 advocate for anything you do

‘yeah, love, you should do that. definitely’

‘mhmm, anything you want darling’

GRRRRRRRR 🐱🐱🐱🐱

eats up every single one of ur cunty fits

you look so damn good babe and he makes sure you know it

‘you’re the most beautiful girl i have ever seen, love. seriously’

‘if you don’t stop smiling like that, im gonna be forced to take you against this fucking wall love’

OOPSIES

HOW DID THAT GET THEERRREEEE

knows the whole school and literally the whole world is obsessed with you and is here for it

(but is also not)

he loves that people know how special you are bc you fckn are

but like

when he sees whores staring at you with gaping mouths and starry eyes he’s like

she’s MINE.

doesn’t enjoy people staring at his girl

10000% the type to wrap his arms around you and pull you back into him, genuinely acting as a shield for the stares

pd(bloody)a!!!

he’s a big big fan

obvs if it makes you uncomfy, he’ll understand and back off! your comfort is his main concern

HOWEVER

if you like it just like he does…

arm wrapped around you waist while you’re walking around

HANDDD HOLDING

he loves cuddling you

ur like his squishmallow 😘😘😘

he really enjoys showing you, all the time, how much you mean to him. how obsessed he is with you. bc he wants you to know

will readily admit to the fact he is very much on ur pink bedazzled leash xxxxx

he’s ur mf bitch ❤️❤️❤️

if ppl try and take the mick out of him for it he literally could not care less

and what???? it’s true

he would kiss the ground you walked on if you asked

if he notices you getting uncomfortable w ppl staring at you, he’s not afraid to confront them (if you want that)

‘yeah, mind looking anywhere bloody else mate?’

‘if you done leering at my girl you wanker, feel free to piss off’

if people happen to not heed his warning, he’s not afraid to fight someone for you

(one time he did and arthur got called in to ‘deal’ with his son—he gave him an approving hug and a chocolate frog)

you & the weasels are like this 🤞

ginny does not resent you bc ur a veela, IN FACCTTTT she actually really looks up to you and admires you, knowing you’re so much more than ur beauty

she’s wants to BE you

(apart from the dating her brother part, gag)

george calls you ‘little legend’ he thinks you’re great for making his brother so starstruck and mushy-goey all the soft things.

genuinely cannot wait for the day you become his sister in law 🤧

after ron got over his creepy little crush, he’s grown to see you as someone he adores (even if he would never admit it) and someone he really feels safe with

you make him feel wanted in his family and actually loved—for that, he loves you more

charlie thinks ur an absolute riot 😭��

the first time you met you had pulled a prank on the twins, turning their skin lilac and giving them unicorn horns with fuzzy purple fur everywhere (human unicorns)

he’s adored you ever since

bill loves you like a little sister and fleur and you are legit best mates!!!

arthur holds you very dear to him as he sees how good you are for his son and how much of a good individual you are in general

molly was slightly hesitant initially

BUTTT then you knitted her and arthur winter hats for christmas, sent them with a cutesy note and some sweets and she knew she’d love you

(she really, truly does)

#fredweasleyisurseximinion

he wrote that himself xxxx

[hulludragon]

MAJOR EP 10 spoilers under cut!!!

Just finished reading episode 10... and I have a lot of opinions abt ed specifically... Feel free to skip. I talk a lot abt how much I do NOT like Ed... so uh Ed enjoyers who can't handle that, dni, and skip ^^'' I'm sure there's gonna be someone out there who shares y'alls love for the fucker! no hate to y'all!!< 333

HOOOLY SHIT I AM ACTUALLY GONNA BASH EDS HEAD IN!!!!!! HES SHOVING HIS FACE INTO EVERYONES BUSINESS, NOT HELPING ANYONE AND IS JUST OVERALL A GENERAL NUICANCE- Before I didn't really care but now?? I CANNOT STAND HIM- esp. after the interaction with Towa :/ I feel like he gets some sick and twisted joy in bothering literally everyone Even the scene where he interrogates Rui on how he felt after sucking the life-energy of the hopgoblin?? fucking foul. He probs knew mc was listening in and made it even clear Rui also has a mark on the back of his neck :/ Not to mention how unnecessarily creepy he is??like the yucky unwanted touching, personal questions and overall uncomfortable closeness. Hes such a creep 😭 he makes me so creeped out and uncomfy whenever hes around... Anyways what I've gathered from this is that the only normal character here is Rui and the only sane character is Lyca. I cannot believe they pulled all of this unnecessary angst I think this has made me more mad than it should've I need to go take a breather I just RAHHH

I seriously hate Ed :/

[snowy-wife]

RRRRRRGGGGG HAPPY MOTHERFUCKIN ANNIVERSARY ERIC. I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I know I have said it before but I have to say it again, I cannot believe Eric wants to be with me and likes me. I swear to god he is lying but I am really so happy and thankfully he likes me. I've always thought he would hate my guts and entire being because of how I am. Instead he likes my craziness and weirdness. He accepts me for who I am and calls me his "Creepy girl", he even calls me his "Cemetery girl" now after I showed him Cemetery Girl by ICP. Even though he's not keen on me being bisexual and into girls he still accepts me for who I am and loves me for me. Yes he can be a little homophobic but thankfully he doesn't go on rants about it and he has pushed it out of his mind, he told me "You're with me and like boys more so I don't care. Just don't talk about girls around me like that" and honestly, I respect his boundaries with that and I've always kept my mouth shut. I've said a girl is pretty but I've tried not saying things that would make him uncomfy. I also just have a disgustingly huge irrational fear of him hating me and it's been drilled into my head since I was like 5 or 6 years old. My love is so deep and strong for him it had me paralyzed as a kid when it came to him. I had to ignore his existence and act like I never loved or liked him, but it was so obvious I did and do. I just can't believe it's our anniversary. I really do love him so much. I love him so deeply and truly and it drives me insane. It makes me hurt myself and I hate it but I also love it because I love him so much that not only would I destory the world for him I would destory myself if he wanted. I would destory existence itself if he wanted. I also love how he is so eager to learn stuff about witchcraft and wants to constantly help out. He's always asking if I'm gonna do a spell or if my mom is, he's always so open and excited to learn about it and it makes me so happy. I don't know how many times I've cried because of how greatful I am I have someone I can share it with. He loves all the witchy and spirit stuff. Hell he loves being dead and being a spirit, he's told me it's cool and he really enjoys it but he also doesn't like being dead because he misses his mom and everything. He is so sweet and kind and loving and caring and I love it. I love how sensitive he is because he truly is a great lover and spouse. I love him so much more than what I can even grasp, what anyone can even grasp. I wanna talk about how much I love him but I can't find the words I just want to rant about how much I love him and talk about him– Like, I so very much love how he wants a traditional marriage with me and he wants me to be his house wife. He picked out some dresses for me to buy / make sometime and I am so impatient and eager to buy / make them. I want to wear them for him so bad. I love how we both love history, well he only likes WW2, and the macabre and we can just sit there for hours on end talking about Nazi Germany and everythig. We can sit there for hours and talk about cannibalism and murder and rape and it's so fucked up but time flies by so fast. I know one time we sat there talking about cannibalism and what the consistency and texture of an eyeball would be and then we got to talking about Necrophilia versus Spectrophilia when it came to our relationship. I just...... I love how I can freely talk about the stuff I love with him without him judging and actively participating in the conversation. I love how dear he is to me. He tries so much to help me when I'm upset and I appreciate it so much. I love him indefintely and I will always be his. Even when nothing is left to be anything. I will always be his girl. In the past, in this here present, and in the future. In every life. Every existence. Every universe. Every reality. Every species. We will always be each others and I will always be his. In fiction and non fiction. In life and death. I actually started crying while writing this because of how much I love him.

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

Would love to know more about your thoughts on Kiss Me Kate and Next To Normal! :)

Kiss Me Kate I saw primarily for one reason and that is Stephanie J Block, who did not disappoint. She was perfectly cast as Lilli Vanessi, her comedic timing and gorgeous soprano vocals absolutely carried the production. Unfortunately the whole show was dragged down by the fact that Adrian Dunbar (who my dad was super excited about bc he’s obsessed with line of duty) simply is not a musical theatre performer. His vocals are fine but he did nothing to make the already dubious character of Frederick more likable (all the jokes about Peter Davison’s character being old and creepy don’t land at all when the other option is only a tiny improvement), and he had absolutely no chemistry with Stephanie. The applause at the end of Where Is The Life That Late I Led was giving being really proud of your son for giving an okay performance in a school play. So In Love only works if the guy playing Frederick is this very powerful force of charisma and instead I was just like “I’m so happy for you and your ugly fucking ex husband”

I think Kiss Me Kate just… kind of isn’t a very good musical? I’m not even talking about the sexist stuff, which I think this production mostly managed to alleviate with a few smart choices, it’s just not paced very well, nothing about the romance feels earned, like a third of the first act is just copy pasted taming of the shrew and I can count on one hand the songs I both love musically and as storytelling pieces. It actually made me appreciate guys and dolls so much more, because while that show definitely has its dated elements it’s also practically unimpeachable structurally. The first act of KmK was a downright uncomfy slog at times, but fortunately the second act was much funnier and more enjoyable. I loved basically everyone in the supporting cast aside from Adrian, Georgiana does a super dynamic Always True To You, the ensemble absolutely bodied Too Darn Hot and the gangsters were an absolute riot. Merlin found the Shakespeare jokes amusing.

[pro-mammonologist]

I wanted to answer your “would you really date the obey me Boys” question in an ask if that’s okay 🥺

For mammon, who is my absolute favorite. He would piss me off so badly in the beginning with how rude and stubborn he is, I just would hold a grudge. It would take me a very long time with us warming up to eachother to even be friends. Eventually maybe we could be something more when he opens up.

Solomon is another one of my favorites but irl I think he’d weird me out. Like he’d give me creepy vibes.

I would have the BIGGEST crush on Lucifer but would be so turned off by his personality bc he’s very brash.

Barbatos and I would never connect bc we are both quiet. It would take us a ridiculously long time to get to know eachother. But I would probably still have a crush on him.

I would find Levi incredibly irritating. I hate people who are overly self deprecating and I would think he’s rude. Eventually we would bond over needy stuff but we would absolutely never date.

Irl I do not like blondes so no Satan

Asmos and I would just be besties

Beel is not my type irl but I would think he’s so sweet I’d probably have a little crush

Absolutely fucking not for Belphie. I would hate him and think he’s so rude. A big one I only like in theory.

I’d like to think Simeon and I have a chance, but I think he’s way too nice for me.

And for Dia, I am very quiet so his loudness and big personality would definitely scare me.

But I read fics about all of them expect for asmo. He’s just really not my type. But in my head I can change the senarios to fit exactly what I want to I can work out with all of them. I am in a poly relationship with all of them in my head.

Lemme give my two sense too.

So I would think Lucifer is so hot and he’d turn me on so badly but then I’d see how he’s such as asshole to his brothers and I don’t really fuck with tough love all that much. After he softens up later then I’d go back to being turned on all the time.

Mammon would annoy me with his ego but seeing his personality and like his actual morals and stuff would make me mega attracted to him. His spending is my only problem just cuz I grew up poor and stuff.

Levi is like the guys I’d usually attract and I know I’d be uncomfy because I prefer people who have it more together like as much as I relate to the recluse vibes I need people who aren’t as afraid of the world cuz I’m TERRIFIED.

Satan is probably who I’d date fr fr. He’s basically a less mean version of Lucifer that really likes cats and he’s a lot less sadistic period. He probably is the most likely to share my political beliefs as well. (Mammon would too because he gives so much anarchistic vibes, Satan needs some structure)

Asmo would be my bff and I’d be scared to fuck him because I just know his standards are high. Would be horny with him all the time though.

Beel is perfect for real but he’s like too soft and sweet. I need someone with more personality and a bigger presence.

Belphie is a definite no. I enjoy sleeping and chilling and I get wanting to rest all the time cuz I’m like chronically fatigued but his “fuck everything” attitude pisses me off. He also seems to be very passive aggressive and I hate that shit.

Diavolo is probably also ideal for me minus the literal royal status of his. I hate hate hate hierarchies and rich people but Dia is so open and kind and not to mention progressive so I lowkey would vibe with him hard. I would absolutely wanna be dicked down regularly by him.

Barb is great but since he’s so hard working I feel like I would be lacking in a relationship with him. I’m more laid back and lenient and he’s not.

Simeon is cool and is also someone I’d realistically date but something about him just screams token gay friend. That’s the dynamic I feel I’d have with him.

Solomon is someone who I used to hate but in nightbringer I’m like “ooookkkaaaayyyyy” cuz he’s slowly becoming more my type. I think I would also find him creepy at first but then after some time id def get a lil 👀

So really

Lucifer: not at first, later on

Mammon: not at first, later on, but would be ideal for me

Levi: no

Satan: yes

Asmo: no

Beel: eh but would fuck fs

Belphie: no

Dia: yes

Barb: no

Simeon: ?

Solomon: yes later on

[local-tim-stoker-enthusiast]

So. Um. Yeah. Have this.

So I guess I'll be doing an intro if I'm going to be posting more then.

previously @gay-rtc-induced-dillemma

So. My name is Millie, but I also go by Reynie! My pronouns are They/Them but I go by any, really. It doesn't matter much. I don't use "dude" or "bro" as gendered terms, so if you're uncomfy with that just lmk!!

I'm currently incredibly fixated on... drumroll please...: The Magnus Archives and MCR!!

English is my first language

!!I AM A MINOR!!, so please don't be creepy.

My fav books: A Good Girl's Guide To Murder and The Book Thief

Standard DNI, also if you're just a fucking creep please leave 💕

My favorite bands/artists are: MCR, The Decemberists, The Front Bottoms, Chappell Roan, Pierce The Veil, Lil Peep, Weezer, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Surf Curse, & McCafferty (green: least likely to post about - red: most likely to post about)

Well, THAT was painstaking to write. back to my hobbit hole now. bye bye. have a lovely day.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

omfg i really hope u finished sk8 the infinity bc that is the most fun, colourful, draindead show I have ever watched and I would sell my soul to the devil for a s2 to come faster.

but like, who’s ur favourite character? langa will always be dear to my heart bc of just how dense he is sometimes. like he genuinely cannot comprehend most things that happen around him and that just adds to his charm.

also am i the only one who was super fucking weirded out by the way adam interacted with the kids?? the dub is just so much more creepy than the sub and he’s just so much worse around these children- the way he speaks to miya, the nicknames he gives reki and the way he behaves with poor sweet langa is so uncomfy to watch???

I finished it and I LOVED it.

Langa’s my favorite character for much of the same reason. Oh my god he’s so dense and so good. My beautiful boy. All he knows is Board and Love Reiki. He’s so chill. He was just like “I have Never Skateboarded in my Life. The first try should be on this Death Mountain in an event with explosives involved. I will destroy the competition.” I simply adore him. I think we should just keep putting him on different types of boards to see if he can qualify on an Olympic level in them within the span of months. Surfboard. Wakeboard. Other types of board. He is so beautiful and so good.

Oh Adam is so uncomfortable to watch during this, especially his entire thing with langa. He’s always giving him roses and touching him and calling him his Eve. He has an entire wall filled with video footage of him. He had cameras following him when he wasn’t even at S. He openly calls Reiki the third wheel as if Langa doesn’t go into immediate depression if his boyfriend is not there to watch him skate. If the post-credits montage is accurate, then he parachuted from the sky with a bouquet of roses when Langa turned 18. Like this is fully stalking and deeply upsetting please go away.

[monachopsis-99]

But am i even ready for a pregnancy.......? It needs to be a more in depth conversation still....... I would love to have their kids but what if i get pregnant and end up hating the child, what if i end up getting post partum........... what if the kid hates me...... what if the kid hates his or hers fathers........ so many what ifs and scares to think about........ i want one but i dont even know if im ready....... if they're ready.......... i definitely need to do more reading up on it and talk to them...... i just hope im not pregnant as it is tho been wondering for a little bit if im honest.......

RRRRRRGGGGG HAPPY MOTHERFUCKIN ANNIVERSARY ERIC. I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I know I have said it before but I have to say it again, I cannot believe Eric wants to be with me and likes me. I swear to god he is lying but I am really so happy and thankfully he likes me. I've always thought he would hate my guts and entire being because of how I am. Instead he likes my craziness and weirdness. He accepts me for who I am and calls me his "Creepy girl", he even calls me his "Cemetery girl" now after I showed him Cemetery Girl by ICP. Even though he's not keen on me being bisexual and into girls he still accepts me for who I am and loves me for me. Yes he can be a little homophobic but thankfully he doesn't go on rants about it and he has pushed it out of his mind, he told me "You're with me and like boys more so I don't care. Just don't talk about girls around me like that" and honestly, I respect his boundaries with that and I've always kept my mouth shut. I've said a girl is pretty but I've tried not saying things that would make him uncomfy. I also just have a disgustingly huge irrational fear of him hating me and it's been drilled into my head since I was like 5 or 6 years old. My love is so deep and strong for him it had me paralyzed as a kid when it came to him. I had to ignore his existence and act like I never loved or liked him, but it was so obvious I did and do. I just can't believe it's our anniversary. I really do love him so much. I love him so deeply and truly and it drives me insane. It makes me hurt myself and I hate it but I also love it because I love him so much that not only would I destory the world for him I would destory myself if he wanted. I would destory existence itself if he wanted.

I also love how he is so eager to learn stuff about witchcraft and wants to constantly help out. He's always asking if I'm gonna do a spell or if my mom is, he's always so open and excited to learn about it and it makes me so happy. I don't know how many times I've cried because of how greatful I am I have someone I can share it with. He loves all the witchy and spirit stuff. Hell he loves being dead and being a spirit, he's told me it's cool and he really enjoys it but he also doesn't like being dead because he misses his mom and everything. He is so sweet and kind and loving and caring and I love it. I love how sensitive he is because he truly is a great lover and spouse. I love him so much more than what I can

even grasp, what anyone can even grasp. I wanna talk about how much I love him but I can't find the words I

just want to rant about how much I love him and talk about him- Like, I so very much love how he wants a traditional marriage with me and he wants me to be his house wife. He picked out some dresses for me to buy / make sometime and I am so impatient and eager to buy / make them. I want to wear them for him so bad. I love how we both love history, well he only likes WW, and the macabre and we can just sit there for hours on end talking about Nazi Germany and everythig. We can sit there for hours and talk about cannibalism and murder and rape and it's so fucked up but time flies by so fast. I know one time we sat there talking about cannibalism and what the consistency and texture of an eyeball would be and then we got to talking about Necrophilia versus Spectrophilia when it came to our relationship. I just...... I love

how I can freely talk about the stuff I love with him without him judging and actively participating in the conversation. I love how dear he is to me. He tries so much to help me when I'm upset and I appreciate it so much.

I love him indefintely and I will always be his. Even when nothing is left to be anything. I will always be his girl. In the past, in this here present, and in the future. In every life. Every existence. Every universe.

Every reality. Every species. We will always be each others and I will always be his. In fiction and non fiction. In life and death. I actually started crying while writing this because of how much I love him.

#ghost relationship #ghost wife #ghost spouse #ghost lover #spirit relationship #spirit spouse #spirit lover #spirit wife

[nowoyas]

Edible Arrangements 30

First - Prev - Next - M.list - Ao3

A/N: So usually I actually get pretty uncomfy around people who are drinking a lot, god only knows why, but this was insanely fun to write! Happy January 22nd New Year's lmao

we love some good fluff to break up all this plot <3

Chapter Summary: New Year's gets rung in the best way you and your friends can think of.

Warnings: alcohol, a single dubconny new year's kiss

Word count: ~3000 words

"I can't believe you actually invited him. You sure you're okay with it?" Mina sidles up next to you, her balance already sending her bumping shoulders with you whenever she comes to talk just a bit too loud. You appreciate her, though, horns jabbing your ear and all.

"Mina, play nice," you say. "And yes, I'm fine with it. Izu and Hitoshi are cool with it, too. I was gonna ask Tenya, but..."

Well, Tenya had insisted on you extending an invitation to Neito, though he'd warned that he’d be a bit distant should the wannabe hunters decide to attend.

Who had ended up attending: Tenya (stern parent to all), Mina (currently smooshing her cheek into yours and having pregamed the party before you even started setting it up), Tsuyu (Mina's designated driver to the event, now also partaking in the punch seeing as you have no intention of making anyone drive home tonight), Izuku (as your co-host), and Hitoshi, to start with. And then, the more surprising guests on your list, who Mina was now trying to appear civil towards: Neito, an enthralled and therefore completely nonthreatening but still just a touch creepy Ibara, and Itsuka.

Itsuka is really the one you’re a bit wary of. You know Neito well enough by now to know that he's not at threat of harming you or your friends again except on accident, and a very brief prying into Ibara's state of mind has made it pretty clear that she's forgotten her capacity for vampire murder, which leaves you the wildcard: Itsuka. You don't know much about her, except that she's the one that turned Neito and that they're still not really talking. Part of your goal tonight is to loosen her and Neito both up if you can, get them talking—though, honestly, you're mostly just impressed at yourself for being able to get both to attend.

Tonight will also be a valuable case study in whether or not vampires can get drunk.

Izuku has chosen, of course, not to partake too heavily—he's also interested in the answer, so he's opted to hang out awkwardly and commit as much to memory as possible so he doesn't freak out all your friends and assault charges in another world by actively taking notes on them where they can see. This, of course, requires his memory to be functioning, and that requires him to not risk the potential for alcohol to fuck with his memory tonight. You, on the other hand, are drinking socially with the hopes of feeling relaxed again. Those moments have been few and far between for longer than your brain will let you think about.

Tonight might be the first really relaxing night you've had that isn't just you and Izuku and Sbeve.

Speaking of Sbeve, Mina has let out a joyous squeal to chase him down after spotting him atop the network of cat trees in the living room.

"Careful!" you call after her. "He's soft, but he bites!"

You fed him earlier, so it should be fine... right?

With her gone, you sink into socializing, finding yourself awkwardly chatting with Itsuka. She's chill, it turns out. Friendly, even. And, important: she's drinking. She's joined by Hitoshi, though she keeps an eye on Neito and Ibara, who chat not far from the three of you. (Tsuyu has posted up with Tenya for the time being.)

"Itsuka, right?" You raise your glass to her in greeting as you finally wedge your way in. "Thanks for coming. I know it's probably not the most hype of New Year's celebrations, but..."

She shakes her head, grins. "No, thanks for inviting me! I was kinda surprised you invited those two at all."

"Well, you know. It's practically a vampire gathering. And, I'm not gonna lie, I kinda wanted to sus out Ibara. I heard she was... y'know, changed, but after everything that happened, I wasn't keen on risking it, you know? Had to see for myself." You pull a tight smile on the realization that that maybe... wasn't the best thing to say. Maybe you're already tipsy. Fuck it. "Sorry. I'm a bit of a lightweight."

"A bit?" Hitoshi snorts. "That's your first drink, isn't it?"

"Maybe so. Fight me about it."

The conversation quickly slides into high-spirited bickering, which poor Itsuka has become the unwilling referee for. And then, before you can challenge Hitoshi to a Smash-sponsored death battle, you note two things:

1. You need a refill.

2. Mina has declared her own death battle against Neito, something about the sanctity of your life and home.

And so you fill up your glass, break out the Smash, and watch a drunk Mina attempt to murder a completely lost Neito via Smash. Before long, it's all of you, piling in, any lingering awkwardness or worry evaporated in fair of virtual fistfights, swearing, and getting progressively drunker by the minute. By the time midnight rolls around, you've nearly forgotten about it being New Year's Eve.

Mina, in all her drunken glory, is not one to forget, however. "Oh my god guys we've gotta kiss."

"What?" Hitoshi chokes on his drink.

"We gotta! There's... uh... [name] count how many people there are."

You count dutifully. Eight.

Perfect.

"Eight!"

"Forgive me, but you seem to have miscounted," says Ibara, and you furrow your brow and count again.

Oh. You forgot you.

"Toshi. Toshi this is important." You have your hands on his shoulders, eyes dead serious. He seems unimpressed. "Hitsoshi. Listen to me."

"What?"

"You have to kiss Sbeve. It's the only way."

"I am... not doing that."

"You have to! It's the law! You gotta kiss someone on New Year's or you'll, like, die. I'm sorry, I shoulda only invited an even number."

"She's right!" Mina cheers. "The hosts gotta do it, and the twink's gotta kiss the thorny girl, and I gotta kiss the twink's sister for revenge, and Tsu's gotta do Tenya because they're the mom friends and mom friends gotta kiss each other, so you gotta kiss Sbeve! Do it for Sbeve!"

"Do it for Sbeve!" Itsuka echoes. She's barely drank anything. You gotta change that if she's comfy.

You shake his shoulders a little, tears in your eyes. "I'm askin'—askin' you as Sbeve's adopting momther. He's gotta kiss some—someone on New Year's, too. Or he'll be cursed."

Hitoshi slides a hand on his face. "Okay, this is stupid. You can't just—those designations are completely arbitrary. I'm pretty sure you made up nearly all those pairings on the spot except for the hosts thing."

"Just drink a lil more and you can do it! Do it for Sbeve, Hito'."

He sighs, accepts the cup pushed towards him as the other drunkards cheer. And, as midnight creeps ever closer, you look for the other host and find him in the corner. With the countdown beginning, you stumble his way, and he's there in a moment, steadying you with your hot face and dizzy smile. "Everything okay, [name]? You've had a lot to drink."

"I'm stressed," you declare. "But Mina said we gotta kiss when the midnight goes, and she's never wrong."

10

9

8

"K-kiss?"

7

6

5

"Yeah. We gotta!"

4

"Y-you know that—"

Your lips are on his, barely missing a lip lock. Your aim's off, your breath nearly enough to buzz him as you press into him and kiss the corner of his mouth. He adjusts, movements wooden as he steadies you more than anything. But he sinks into it, and you sink into it, and there you are, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, feeling the first kiss you can remember feeling right.

3, 2, 1.

and when you pull away, you're immediately looking with approval to see that, at minimum, everyone's at least gone for the requisite cheek kisses at Mina's badgering. Everyone will have a good year—you're satisfied.

Happy New Year!

~

Tenya wasn't going to get dragged along into this. For one, yours and Mina's harrowed prophecies of bad years to come for those that don't kiss on New Year's is so convoluted and, more importantly, so ungrounded in reality that the only point would be to satisfy those too drunk to realize the error of their ways. For another, he's half a mind to talk you out of it, before you've completely bought into Mina's idea that the hosts have to kiss. Of course they don't! There's no reason they should have to do that! There's no reasonyou should—

But there you are, confidently stumbling your way to Izuku, who crosses the room to steady you as though it's like breathing. And he has to admit, if he were in someone else's body, someone else's mind... He'd think the two of you looked great together. A perfect couple.

10

"This doesn't have to mean anything, but if it'd help..." Tsuyu says as the pair of them watch you panic to Izuku about New Year's kisses. "It'd be nice not to feel left out."

9

He sighs. He knows what's coming. Tsuyu is beautiful, and you are not the person he knew then. (You're exactly like the person he knew then.)

8

Even that purple-haired vampire has found the cat to give a kiss to the top of its head before midnight.

7

And there you are, loud enough that Tenya knows. You're asking Izuku to kiss you.

6

And there he is, not backing away, too stunned to form a response to you. You're a whirlwind. You always have been.

5

Tsuyu bumps his shoulder.

4

Fireworks launch on the TV as you drag a still-dumbstruck Izuku into a poorly-aimed kiss.

3

"Tenya?"

2

"Sorry I asked. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

1

He pulls Tsuyu into a kiss before he can watch your vampire kiss you back, before he can feel the hurt hit him. And Tsuyu, for all she's worth, kisses him back.

When they pull away, there's a shared nod, and then a move to the drinks table.

Happy damn New Year.

~

The morning does not come gently to end the night. No, in fact, it comes in the form of Sbeve batting at your face, of light casting across the eyes of a pile of hungover college students plus Izuku. Those human among you groan—you can already tell that you're not the only one with a splitting headache. Izuku shuffles beneath you when you stir, and you soothe him back to sleep and squint through the light to assess the damage.

The first damage, you can tell, is the fact that the fucking blinds are open. That's an easy fix. You twist them closed, draw the curtains to leave the room sufficiently dark enough to elicit a muffled "thank you" from one pink best friend of yours. The next steps are obvious—water for the humans. Maybe for the vampires, too. You're not sure any of them drank enough to get drunk, let alone get hungover. You're also not sure they can get hungover. (Note to self: ask Izuku whether or not he can experience hangovers now that he's a vampire.)

You stumble to the kitchen, fill up Sbeve's water and yours in succession. You down your glass, fill it again. Tsuyu, Mina, and maybe Ibara need water, for sure. After a moment's deliberation, you get down enough glasses to fill everyone up with water once they're up, and start a pot of coffee for good measure. Painkillers abound, a tray brought into the living room and set on the coffee table, which you haphazardly clear to make room for some hungover bitches to take water as they need. Then, you're back in the kitchen, setting about some toast. You've definitely got the bread for it.

It seems you're the first really up. Mina hasn't moved or made a sound since you closed the blinds, and the others are all still. It's not until the first batch of toast is done and you're plating that you sense a presence in the room with you, and then there's a hand over your mouth to keep you from screaming.

"Just me," Tenya says in a low voice. When you relax before him, he releases you.

"So the sneaking around is just a vampire thing, then," you grumble. "Sleep okay?"

He nods, but he glows, too. You arch a brow.

"I confess, I'm not used to sleeping on the floor like that. I found it difficult to get comfortable."

"I'm sorry," you say, because you have nothing more to say. Maybe you should have offered a bed. You should know he's not like the rest of you. "I've got coffee. And water." The toaster going off has you yelping, jolting away. When you're settled, you smile sheepishly and offer a slice to Tenya. "And toast."

He shakes his head. "I'm heading home. I just didn't want to leave without saying anything."

"Oh. Did... did you have a good time, at least?"

He hesitates. You can see the gears turning and you know, deep down, that one of your dearest friends is searching for a way to lie to you.

"What went wrong?" you ask, distress seeping into your voice. "Was it because I invited—"

"It's not because you invited those hunters." He pulls an attempt at a smile. Your only consolation is that it's the truth. "They're actually quite good company. Had they not nearly killed us, I could see us becoming friends under some different circumstances. I take it you didn't mind working with him on the project, then?"

Oh. This is how you were able to be lied to for so long, isn't it? Tenya's not nearly smooth enough to pull it off.

(He’s avoiding answering. He’s redirecting you.)

"Tenya. What went wrong?"

Pain's written on his face. You wonder when you learned to read that on him. "Please trust me when I say that it was nothing you did."

"What did I do?"

He flinches. Maybe he doesn't want to blame you. Maybe he does anyway.

You take a step back, rest your back against the hard countertop. "Whatever it was, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I know you didn't. I'm not mad at you."

You're not willing to look at him to test that statement.

Tenya leaves, and you eat your toast and clean around the still-sleeping remaining houseguests. They begin to wake and leave in your preferred order—Ibara and Neito and Itsuka get up and leave first, then Hitoshi (the day's biggest surprise). Soon, all that's left is Mina and Tsuyu, both of whom eventually wake up and linger with your hangover recovery spread for a bit.

"Mina," you say with a sigh as she downs a mug of coffee in one go.

She blinks owlishly at you. "Wha?"

"What do you remember of last night?"

"Why do you ask? Everyone woke up with clothes on, right?"

"Right, but..." Another sigh.

She tilts her head your way. "What happened?"

"Tenya was in a hurry to leave this morning. He wouldn't say why, but he was trying to find a way to get around my quirk to protect my feelings. So, you know, not the best feeling in the world for one of your best friends to tell you that you did nothing wrong while very obviously lying to you."

"Obviously to you, maybe," Tsuyu says. She's on her third glass of water. "If he's trying to protect your feelings, why dig into it? There's probably a reason."

"But if I did something, I want to fix it, not dance around it! What if he's actually mad at me?"

"Then you'll fix it," she reassures you. "I mean, you two moved past way worse. He's even playing nice with Izuku for your sake, because he knows it upsets you."

Gods, she's even more blunt with a hangover. "But how can I fix it if he won't even tell me—"

"You don't have to know everything or fix everything, [name]. Just let it be. He'll work through it on his own and it'll be like nothing ever happened."

You hesitate. On paper, it's reasonable, but there's that nagging thought at the back of your mind—intentional or not, he made it pretty clear that whatever upset him was something you were directly involved in, if not the sole perpetrator of. And if that's the case, shouldn't it be your responsibility to address it? Shouldn't you—

You snap out of your reverie to see Mina snapping a selfie, for some strange reason. Snapchat, probably. You wrinkle your nose anyway. "God, please don't save that. I'm sure I look like shit."

(Who are you to demand the truth all the time, anyway?)

"We all do, it's part of the vibes."

(The truth sucks.)

"What vibes? Hangover vibes?"

(You have to let it go.)

"Precisely. Here, you get one retake. I think you look good candid, though."

(You don’t want to let it go.)

You sigh and let her drag you and Tsuyu into one more selfie, this time with you actually looking at the camera and weakly raising your water glass. Satisfied with at least one attempt to look half-decent, you let her do what she will and turn your attention instead to the stirring Izuku.

"Morning, sleepyhead," you call across the room. You're almost certain he didn't drink last night, so he should be hangover-free, right?

He stirs a bit further, then jolts up, frozen until his eyes land on you. "Oh. You woke up first."

You snort. "For once. What had you so sleepy? I already cleaned up before you even moved."

"S-sorry! I didn't mean to make you—"

"Chill, chill, Broccula. If it bothered me, I would have waited until you were up. I woke up super early so I got to work before everyone got up. Coffee? Water? Toast?"

He comes to sit beside you in your little floor circle, draping himself over you. Every day he is more of a cat.

"Yes please."

(You give Tenya and his lie one last thought.)

(You let it go.)

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[basicallyjaywalker]

The stupidest thing ever in Ninjago:

The Love Triangle™

I feel the opinion that the love triangle in Ninjago is one of the worst subplots is not only popular but very correct. heck, even ten year old rook who loved drama and romance hated it because it felt fundamentally *wrong*

And I mean there's the obvious point: it wasn't necessary. We did not need a love triangle we had Jaya and things were fine. I actually think the love triangle fundamentally screwed up the otherwise goofy wholesome dynamic Jaya had and showcases some of the worst flaws in how Nya is written

But we did have it and I have a lot of thoughts about it so in this rant-masquerading-as-an-essay we will discuss

The timeline of the love triangle and Jaya generally

Why it's unnecessary, out of character, and generally pretty dumb as a recurring plot

Why Nya was the least wrong of everyone involved in it and also done the most dirty by it

Strap in because this is gonna be a very angry ride

To Recap…

Jaya was initially hinted at in the pilots with a line that was very uncomfy

" You have a sister? Is she hot?" *Gets elbowed for weird teenage boy crimes*

Thanks, I hate it, but Jay seems to be less creepy when the series actually starts and he has his clear crush on Nya. The crush even seems to be reciprocated and they appear to be unofficially official in S1 and S2, including Jay LOSING HIS MARBLES when Nya is captured and Cole makes an accidental pun

And then we hit S3 and I want to commit crimes.

In episode 1 of S3 there is an exchange wherein Nya is talking about how none of her male students listen to her and

Jay: Heyyy Ms. Nya, I saved you a pudding cup!

Nya: what did we talk about?

Jay: Oh right! Boundaries!

This exchange seems to imply that Jay and Nya are on a break, broken up, or possibly just not together in the first place and I misread things and now that they're older Jays teenage boy awkwardness is less endearing and more just creepy.

In any case, we can draw that Nya is trying to gain more independence, and why wouldn't she? Her life from the start of this series has been defined by either a) her brother or b) Jays affection for her. Even when she was Samurai X her main relationships were annoying the ninja or sharing the secret with Kai and hiding it from Jay. Keep this in mind for later.

So later they go to tour Borg Industries, with the guys visiting Mr. Borg himself and Nya staying with the students. As they tour the invention floor they find *gasp* a machine run on flash! No literally I'm convinced this was some interns pet project Cyrus didn't have the heart to reject. A love machine to find your perfect match and, for fun, Nya steps onto it. All of the little girls giggle and talk about how it'll OBVIOUSLY show Mr. Jay!! And then it beeps and everyone looks horrified. Its. Cole? Wait wtf why Cole?

Prior to this the machine listed a lot of Nya's traits and it seems that it's matching them based on that? It's still odd. Anyways, it'll probably be fine because neither Nya nor Cole has shown any sign of attraction before, even in this episode, and it would make no sense for Nya to suddenly develop a crush based on what a stupid machine says-- oh that's exactly what she does? Well.

Okay sure MAYBE Nya harbored affection for Cole before this. Or maybe the machine makes her realize how much they have in common and that's why. Surely if Cole shared similar thoughts he'd have shown them naturally, since he wasn't part of this whole machine thing as demonstrated in the sudden cut-- oh no he starts making moves and reciprocating out of fucking nowhere? Well.

And then Jay finds out and sure this man has a lot of insecurities and he's bound to be a little jealous but I'm sure since hes a grown adult with a least a little more maturity than when he was a teenager he won't react by beating his best friend to a bloody pulp-- oh ffs. Well.

I will get more into the characterization of everyone later but after this initial fight things do not get better. Jay and Cole are constantly hostile to each other in this season and it continues up until Skybound which was pretty good, actually, and I just wanted to punch Jay in the face for a. Portion. Which solidified Jaya after a healthy dose of trauma bonding! And from what I understand they live happily ever after until Seabound ripped all of our hearts out and turned them to fine mist but I haven't seen past Hands of Time so it doesn't matter

Now with that out of the way, let's get into

Why this entire thing was bullshit.

It was unnecessary

No but fr why did they write this in???? The main reason I can think of is it adds a conflict but here's the thing: if they wanted to develop Jaya, give them conflict and make them stronger as a couple they ALREADY HAD A STARTING POINT. Harken back to the pudding cup interaction earlier. There you go! Nya is tired of her life being defined by the men around her. She wants a break to be able to find herself and be independent again. Jay is insecure and worried this means she doesn't love him and overcompensates trying to "win her back." It offers opportunities for both comedy (Jay finding more and more elaborate ways to try and impress her while everyone else tries to break through to him that he's nuts) and actual serious lessons about relationships (Nya telling him that while she still loves him and maybe one day they can have a future, she needs space and the opportunity to find herself, and maybe he can take the time to find himself too). It genuinely wouldn't change much of the dynamic they have from rebooted to Skybound, is not entirely annoying, and doesn't do either of them dirty in the character development department.

The only other reason I can think of other than extra drama is they wanted to introduce a new relationship dynamic, that of Cole and Nya. But 1. It's obvious from the start that they're not endgame so it's pointless to explore them, it's just for drama. And 2. we already had Pixane this season introduced in the same episode and also know as The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Ninjago. So again, I reiterate that the love triangle was entirely unnecessary because of you wanted a new ship you had Pixane and if you wanted Jaya conflict you could just make it internal.

Everyone is written like me doing a Degrassi AU of this show

Let's start with Nya.

Nya is commonly characterized in the show as an independent, self-confident young woman who refuses to be in a boy's club. But don't take my word for it, because when I mentioned the machine that catalyzed this whole thing listed off details about her, that is exactly what it said. And I don't disagree with it, which is why it feels even stupider that in this whole thing, Nya is just sort of a bystander. Like, let's go through the OOC things she does throughout this plot

-listens to the machine at all

Nya comes across as the type of person who would not trust a simple machine with a dumb name (Perfect Match like really???) to decide her fate unless SHE made it. So for her to not only go along with using this thing with no reluctance, but also just DEVELOP FEELINGS for Cole out of the blue based on it?? Feels so out of character for her!! If anything it would feel more in character for her to get on the machine reluctantly after the girls beg her too, see it's Cole, laugh it off publicly ("haha, Cole? Must be broken") but then worry about it in private or just be unfazed. Nya's independence and desire to be defined by her own actions instead of her brother and his friends' contradicts this action because it just. Doesn't seem in character. IDK this as the catalyst just makes me nuts because of reasons I will get into when talking more about Nya later

-her affections towards cole

I already sort of covered this so I'll just reiterate. Prior to this, there were no clear indications that Nya liked Cole romantically. The machine seems to have planted the idea in her and she ran with it. We've discussed why that's OOC for her. Moving on.

-how she proceeds to act in the dynamic

She doesn't. This is more just bad writing and less her being OOC but it's still OOC that the most agency she gets is yelling at Jay and Cole for fighting at the junkyard and picking which wire to cut which amounted to nothing anyways grrrr--

Sorry that's another scene that makes me mad because it's very dumb. Anyways.

Nya literally feels like a bystander in this whole thing. Her general vibe seems to be. Annoyance with the whole thing. Which I get I'm annoyed too but that only sticks around for S3 and after? It's purely focused on Jay and Cole's conflict. Hell when they have a whole "she's yours you can have her" scene in S4 (which means nothing because it's still going in S5 and S6) SHES NOT EVEN PRESENT. It's just them talking about her like she's an object which feels OOC for both of them too.

I'm going to get more into this when I just talk about Nya so we're going to move on for now

To Cole. What the fuck my guy?

-developing feelings for nya

Never shown to have this before. Doesn't even have a machine to blame. It actually almost feels like he did it to spite Jay. Moving on.

-the fact that it just keeps going

Again Cole has NO reason or motivation or skin in this game? Like it's so weird that he just keeps fighting with Jay over it and is just as passionate about it. It feels like he should be more confused about where he stands on this. Maybe he likes Nya? He never considered it before but maybe he does. But also Jay is his friend and he knows Jay likes Nya too. It's so weird that he literally Mr. Steal Yo Girl's this thing OR just isn't listening to Nya when she obviously seems unsure about her relationship status

Cole's was short because his problems are very surface. He just is here for the plot to work because you can't have Kai do it, that's her brother, and you can't have Zane do it because he has a cool new android gf, and you can't have Lloyd do it bc that's his found family sister. But it just feels OOC the entire time.

Now for the best. Jay. Oh my beloved Jay.

Now this whole thing is semi in character for him. He's super insecure and has a huge crush on Nya, so him being a little upset at Cole and her possibly being an item makes more sense. What doesn't make sense is

-HOW NUTTER BUTTER HIS REACTIONS ARE + HOW PUSHY HE IS

Throughout the seasons this stupid ass plot occurs in, Jay's teenage boy crush on Nya reaches a level that makes me openly and violently cringe as someone who not only loves Jay, but really likes Jaya. First, there's his first reaction to finding out. It makes sense that he's a little upset, maybe hurt, at finding out that apparently Cole is Nya's perfect match, but to then violently take that out on Cole and become weirdly possessive of Nya feels like the writers took his sincere insecurities and cranked them up to crazy levels. Jay is absolutely insecure, don't get me wrong. He definitely seems to understand that he's the clown and coward of the team, and that's part of his arc in Skybound which was pretty good, actually and that's why. But his insecurities have always been portrayed as inward before this. He retreats in on himself and gets anxious, not violent. Take S1 for example, during Once Bitten, Twice Shy (I believe that's the episode) when during his date with Nya he continuously worries about screwing up and runs away to deal with it. He never takes it out on anyone else. He can be physical when he's anxious, iirc he shook someone during a freak out when the Devourer was released, but that was more him just being Extra and not being mad at that person specifically. The only other time his anxieties caused him to lose his shit like this--and caused him to be violent towards Cole over nya, coincidentally--was when Nya was literally captured by Garmadon and the Overlord in S2 after a heated battle was lost and Cole made a very poor word choice, and he stopped almost immediately when Wu intervened because he realized that it wasn't an appropriate reaction. Jay is not a violent person. He's an anxious one. Him attacking Cole over a comment he OVERHEARD from Pixal with no prior build up makes NO SENSE to me.

Additionally in future seasons he becomes weirdly possessive/obsessed w Nya. Again, he was always shown as having a borderline desperate crush on her, but he always kept his awkwardness to a minimum both around her and in private. I mean, take S1 again for example, where he wears cologne to smell good and impress her (well, it was perfume and gave her an allergic reaction, thanks guys, but regardless) as opposed to S6 where he is LITERALLY the pushiest mfer alive. Constantly not listening to her and violating her clearly stated boundaries (one of my least favorite parts of Skybound. I have a lot of feelings about that season and need to rewatch it) goes against his character again!! And yes, the argument can be made that that was because he was trying to force the fate he saw in Possession, but I still think it's OOC for him to become as pushy and creepy as he was. Again, Jay is absolutely an insecure dumbass who catastrophizes and is hopelessly crushing on this woman who is definitely out of his league. however his going so far into the creep zone long after the awkward teenage boy phase feels like the writers, again, took his flaws and just cranked them up for drama

Sorry I've harped on this for so long. It will not get better when I go in depth about how Nya was done dirty in this plot.

Generally, this was a stupid plot

Aside from being unnecessary, aside from being OOC for all involved... The love triangle is just Stupid. Let's look at the actual affects it had for the 4 seasons it occurred.

Rebooted

Jay and Cole have one serious fight and there's one serious scene where Nya has to "choose" that we don't see the outcome of and is literally never elaborated on again.

After that it's jokes.

Tournament of Elements

Cole and Jay don't wanna rejoin forces because they hate each other because of Nya. They have one serious fight in which Cole is like "she's yours" (not how that fucking works). Nya has literally no say the entire time.

Possession

Some light Nya x Cole scenes after Cole becomes a ghost. Jay sees him and Nya together in the glass. Can't remember any serious fights

Skybound

Literally the driving factor of the season.

Notice a pattern? Aside from Skybound, the love triangle serves little purpose other than being a driver for Jay and Cole conflict. Nya has little to no agency, not even being present for the conflicts in ToE. Which brings me to my final point and the driving factor behind why I wrote this whole thing to begin with

Nya was robbed.

I could again write an entire essay about how the Ninjago writers flip flop on Nya all the time, but for now I'll contain it in this essay.

One of my biggest gripes about the writing of this show is how they flip flop constantly between Nya being a character used for the boys development and being an independent character who looks after herself. The love triangle is a prime example of this.

Nya is an independent woman who listens to a random machine when she's trying to define herself apart from a relationship. Nya is a self-confident woman who doesn't get a say when the other two decide who can have her. Nya repeatedly and consistently denies Jay's advances in Skybound, only to make a dramatic turn at the end and choose him.

You see what I mean? It's infuriating. Nya is constantly given lip service as a strong woman, but when the time comes the writers will gladly toss her aside in favor of developing the men in her life. It's annoying, it's aggravating, and it's fully on display in this subplot, wherein she's given little agency and acts like a prop for the writers to use. Jay wins the girl, but why was the girl "winnable" in the first place? Why wasn't she given the space to actually have moments aside from "gasp, she's holding his hand!" to really explore her feelings on camera? Why does her life continue to be defined by her relationships with her brother, his friends, and her boyfriend?

So....

The Love Triangle fucking sucked. It sucked so bad I'm almost convinced it was worse than bringing back Garmadon. It sucked because it was pointless, with even a 9 year old able to see where it would end. It sucked because it took two seasons of characterization for three different characters and threw it out the window. It sucked because it was barely important to any development other than Jay's, and it required making him worse than he is to work. It sucked because it represents a cornerstone in a larger problem surrounding how Nya is treated in the series.

It sucked so bad I spent almost a week writing a 40 paragraph essay/rant about how much I hate it.

[andywinter16]

I was wondering which of the Kingsglaive are great at cuddles? I feel like Libertius is just an obvious teddy bear. Tredd I feel like for some reason just struggles to stay still for long. I may be biased but I feel like Luche gives great cuddles, but you have to actually get the man to stop working long enough for a good cuddle session.

Hello there anonie :) We can be biased together :D I will give you answer to those you mentioned. I will definitively make follow up like another round with others because then it will be extremely long ask ( And I am not sure If anybody would read it)

 I also included pictures of  their favourite cuddle positions.Hope you will  enjoy! :)

Libertus: 100000000/10

100% CUDDLE BEAR

his arms are open tu cuddles 24/7

WARM 

Squichy tummy, perfect as pillow

as right teddy bear he´s hairy baby!

smells like a exotic spices and I live for that

hums softly galadhian tunes (usually you fell asleep in his arms)

will tickle you with his beard (it´s not harsh thou)

Loves kissing your tummy 🥺

soft yet firm touches (that kind that makes you crawl for more)

I believe he´s versatile about big/small spoon

he´s not a mover during cuddling, how you want him is how you get him

Favourite position: You on top of him while your in each others embraces, his chin is resting on top of your head

Luche: 10/10 when you get him off work

(I love that whole fandom agrees on that Luche´s workoholic)

perfect body temperature for cuddles 

loves you in his arms and touching you in general (neeeedyyyy boooyyy)

has a incredible soft skin and smells woodily with hint of sage-brush 

forehead kisses and hair stroking (kiss that jawline!)

definitively eye contact with him, Luche loves to watch you (not in creepy way) but more like protective and sweet kind of way 

Big spoon, secretely loves being small spoon  

He can stay still for a long time in one position (and then playfully complain that his hands are numb)

 he doesn´t speak much during cuddling sessions (Luche´s in blissful state of mind completely at peace) BUT he sighs and make those cute little noises 

Favourite position: I am firm believer that he loves spooning both ways as much as I love breathing. 

Tredd: 7/10 

Tredd being fidgety and hyperactive makes so much sense ( through whole movie Tredd is doing something, like shaving in the car)

he´s a goddamn heater, like seriously Tredd radiates heat waves (whole planet is warmer thanks to him XD)

every damn time cuddling leads to sex, I am sorry but that´s the truth™

is extremely grabby (butt, chest, hand, leg,...) and playful

Tredd will cuddle you in his lap, showing everyone who you belongs to

ROCK solid body (can be little uncomfy), will propably squich you under him

yet is great as weighted blanket (Tredd will not let you get up at all)

He´s fucking mover it´s not funny (like you´re spooning, and then you´re on top of him, and then Tredd is on top of you,..)

will ruffle your hair, pinches your sides, blow rasberries on you (my adhd is acting up thanks to him)

smells heavy, not unplesantly quite the opposite but it can make you dizzy

is actually the one who falls asleep when cuddling ( looks super cute, hair´s messy, little bit of drool)

Favourite position: You have his head on his shoulder, arm wrapped around his torso, while one of your leg is interwined with Tredd´s

[shnowbilicat]

Old Scars Heal Slowly

-------------------------------

Healing from wounds takes a long time, especially once that you cannot see. Sadly I'm someone who carries many scars and many times they like to open up again.

Alright I'll drop the vagueness, I hate calling what I've went through 'traumatic experiences' but I also can't deny that many things in my life have been really messed up and that they left panaoid thoughts that ... sometimes are right.

You're free to read the whole vent below, but I'll summarize it here if you're still interested but too lazy to read through paragraphs or le tragic backstory~

It's funny that I have another character that was very well liked, but pretty much used as an object for someone else to injet their fanatasies into, and when I mentioned how uncomfortable it was for me, people lashed out. I don't know why strangers on the internet think it's totally cool to take someone else's character and jerk off to them. Maybe they're all kids who don't know any better? But that does not excuse that they're legit hurting the original artist ... me. I was hurt. I got paranoid to the gills, have a fcked up relationship with intamacy and am super defensive when it comes to other people wanitng to do something to/with my characters. Consent is still a very new concept I have the feeling ... and I'm so tired of fighting over other people about what I can or cannot do with MY characters ... *le sigh :'33

Okay, so now for a more indepth vent, yay!!

Kokuri started out as a Sonic creepypasta. I liked the concept of a powerful, stalking, creepy Sonic character, so I made him into an OC! His power made him into a god, his creepiness gave him a cool creepy horror form and his stalking ... yeah I made him into a perv and I loved him to bits X'D

I never had a perverted character and since I was a teen I could kinda explore my sexuality and stuff with him in a fun way- wait why are my followers really into him??

Yeah for some reason Kokuri was REALLY popular, so much so that many of my friends and followers started shipping him with their characters?? Luckily my friends understood that I was uncomfy, but some were not so nice. I remember getting a note where someone told me they 'omni-shipped' Kokuri and while I admit I was an emotional teen that had english as their second language, I still was uncomfy and tried to tell them to please not. Later a friend of theirs argued with me that I cannot control others, especially when I become big ... I hope yall know that it does not matter how big someone gets, people shouldn't just ... deny the original creator their wishes for THEIR OWN CHARACTERS. I know I cano't control them, but they can at least be nice enough to respect my wishes mmmmrgh.

Another example was that I had a back then recent friendship tarnished when the person drew their self insert with Kokuri and I told them nicely that Kokuri had a boyfriend ... and they started to be very upset and rude towards me. Or, ya know, that one time a very clingy, RP-happy 'friend' who was always venting to me about their mental health and family and always wanted Kokuri to be their self insert's boyfriend- wait I feel a deja-vu. But there's more! Bby me tried and tried to talk it out how much they tired me out, even RPing it out with Kokuri telling them off, but nothing worked. So, public journal canceling our friendship- ah shit they made a counter journal pretending to be their sister and how I made them attepting to end game. Yaayyyy~ Yall can imagine how it fucking traumatized little ol me :'333

SO! After I kinda drifted off from Sonic to FNAF it was peacefuly quiet, but I had a hard rule that my characters are not allowed to be shipped without my consent after all that bs.

Fast forward to 2023, I get a chat message on DA and someone was really interested with my FNAF boiz. I was ecstatic and rambled about my squad, since it's really rare to get new people on board on loving my bbys. Soon we pivoted over to Discord and ... they mentioned how they liked Rick n Keith, like REALLY really liked them. So far as to call them 'boyfriend material' and how they wished Rick actually existed and how he would be the perfect boyfriend cuz they wouldn't judge them. And I was like 'plz dun take this too seriously okay?? :'3' cuz I was uncomfy with them drooling over my boiz, but also not wanting to take away their joy. Cuz surprise surprise, they also had a bad life. I didn't wanna take away that potentially could help them cope with it all, but also, ya know, don't be creepy.

Aaaaand they asked me for a romance RP with Rick and their FNAF character. I declined, cuz remance RPs are uncomfy, no shit, but they continued being weird, always wanting my attention and being weirdly talkative about how X character was hot or smth, wanitng me to get into the stuff they like, being dismissive about things I liked, being very non-chalant on visiting them IRL (we barely knew each other for half a year too), not taking a no for an answer, etc etc etc

One of my biggest mistakes was giving into the romance RP some time later. The person managed to talk me into merging two of my AUs, FNOK my NSFW AU and my base FNAF AU. I dleted any murder from FNOK cuz I didn't like the implications of murder and naughties ... but now it was back in it! :D

Also remember their OC? Yeah, they didn't even have a design or name up until now- ah wait they are oddly similar to my RP partner and also they share a name? A fucking self insert?? Yeah, yeah it was a self insert and I'm 1000% sure about it. Also they wanted to have at least 5 sentence replies, without dialogue. Broskies, I was so mentally exhausted by it all ya don't even know.

Worst part? They also pivoted to having the hots for SpringTrap, asing how much animal to animatronic they are, how *ahem* rough SpringTrap would be in bed. You can imagine how little old me was very creeped and weirded out. Nothing against kinkiness, but if ya wanna get violated by a big ass rabbit monster, don't do it here thxx

Or some minor things were that the person was sharing their ideas for some FAR future plots or ideas for the RP. Like when Rick and their OC would live together ... bro, they just met in RP, chill your balls plzzz qWq

All came to a head when I got a very uncomfy nightmare and confronted them to all my issues ... aaaand they lashed out BIG TIME. To keep the next scene short, we had a falling out, I tried desperately to talk things out, but they refused, even though they previously told me to be direct with them, even before my confrontation. I remember very well that they demanded that I NEVER bring drama with them or tell anybody about our arguement.

Over time I realized I was fighting a battle I cannot win. One last time, being so calm I scared myself, but no, they called me a a parasite (for demanding space? That's the opposite of what a parasote wants bruh) and I blockd them everywhere.

Freedom at last ... but at what cost?

I got new scars, because of someone who couldn't understand limits or keep their bloody hands of other's characters just to satisfy themselves.

I just recently saw the parallels with Rick and Kokuri and it really makes me upset to see that I let someone just ... use them and me like that.

And you got not idea how much my paranoia expanded. Hell, drawing love or intimacy are even worse now, I'm so scared to have people yell at me again or be happy about the things I draw ...

So yeah, that's why I was posting some deeper stuff here and there :'3

I gotta say, it's nice to draw my pervy hedgy comforting best shadow boi. I really wanna draw Kokuri with my sqaud more, they'd be so fun <33

Anyway, thank you for reading and also being there for me. While I still struggle immensly with drawing stuff, I'll try my best to get over my fears ... just pray for me to not get another creep wanting to jerk off to my characters X'D

[tothestarsinvelaris]

I finished HOFAS (finally oh my goodness) and honestly .... I'm so glad its over

(a long and ranty post with spoilers fyi)

best parts of hofas and crescent city in general (the bonus chapters were honestly so good):

Nesta and Azriel being badass, seeing more of their powers and fighting

Azriel enjoying club music and heavy metal

Nesta asking Bryce to show them how the phones worked and implying that the IC sat there with the phone for who knows how long trying to figure it tf out

Ember not being scared of Rhys at all and standing up to him, her scolding him for giving Nesta such a hard time, her starting to heal Nesta's mommy issues.

Ember seeing Nesta through the portal and saying "is that one of the princes of Hel??" (lmao I laughed so hard tbh)

Any scene at all that involved Ruhn. Specifically Ruhn and Lidia

RUHN AND LIDIA'S BONUS CHAPTER!!!! Ruhn being a little soft boy crying and just being so in love ugh

Lidia's sons being impressed by Ruhn and making sure he would take care of their mom

Lidia threatening to shoot Ruhn in the head if he got in the way of her saving her sons (tbh, facts)

the rest of that book was ..... not good I fear 😬

bc I'm sorry, you're telling me that she opened a black hole to eat another black hole; Hunt was able to stand at the edge of it without getting sucked in, then gets into a mechsuit and can just jump in and save her. Then all their friends use their magic and love to keep the portal to the black hole open while Hunt carries Bryce out of it; Bryce dies but oh look at that, Hypaxia showed up out of nowhere and used her extra cool magic powers as the new Head of House of Flame and Shadow to pull the ol' switcheroo and trade Bryce's soul (somehow) for Jesiba's and then poof Bryce is alive again and cracking her chessy, not funny jokes immediately when everyone is literally sobbing around her bc she was dead????? hello ???

and when Tharion showed up with the water and Hunt's lightning is apparently ineffective because of the water, but the HOSAB he was afraid to use his lightning in the water because it would have fried everyone that was in it????

and Bryce ditches Azriel and Nesta to fight the wyrm and then is confused why they're mad at her and don't trust her fr?? she doesn't explain anything to them and is confused when they figure out the power she has and that she has the horn tattooed in her back and want to bring her to Rhys to talk?? she lets a creepy Asteri woman out of her 15000 year old tomb to ask her questions and is then mad when Nesta kills her bc she wanted to ask more questions?!?! she steals the Starsword from Azriel and is confused when they draw their weapons on her too?! She steals Truth-Teller and then opens a portal back to her own world and is like "oops, hope they'll forgive me! teehee!" ?!?!?!?!?! and then has the audacity to assume that Nesta will just give her the damn mask of death because she asked nicely!??! shit, she's lucky she got Nesta when she was alone and used her parents as bargaining chips to somebody with mommy and daddy issues bc anyone else would have either killed her or told her to fuck off.

we had like 8 really uncomfy and not good sex scenes between Bryce and Hunt where their magic was exploding and combining all over the place and it lasted like 4 seconds, but they're both just like "wow this is the best sex that has ever sexed!! we're so cool and special and anyone else who has sex is icky and gross!!" 😬

we could have taken away half of their scenes and replaced them with more detail on much more interesting characters such as Ruhn, Lidia, Ithan, Tharion, etc etc.

Especially more Ruhn and Lidia bc they were so damn cute and the only emotional investment I had in this entire series. I am a crier when it comes to books. Like, I sobbed during a lot of the emotional scenes in both TOG and ACOTAR. The only time I cried at all during the entire CC series was when Ruhn is trying to sacrifice himself to Pollux to save Lidia's sons and mind speaks to her that he loves her and that his soul fell in love with her and that his soul will find her in the next life. Like hello?? that's adorable and heart-wrenching and we deserved more of them!!!

And like....

Bryce honestly just wasn't it. She was so impulsive, so childish, so sassy and cocky and we didn't get enough background on her at any point in the series for it to make sense. We didn't get to see times where her sassiness and cockiness were challenged or proved useful to her in any way, we didn't get to see any backstory that made it make sense why she built up that exterior to protect her vulnerability. She does impulsive things and endangers the people around her, that she cares about the most, and then gets confused or upset when they aren't happy about it. She goes around acting like she's smarter than everyone else, is entitled to what she wants, and then gets irritated if people try to challenge her or don't want to go along with what she's asking.

I have really liked all of sjm's other female characters, Nesta and Aelin included, but Bryce just... wasn't it.

Nesta is a good comparison too bc I went back and forth on her as a character, then read ACOSF and didn't like her at all for the first 1/3 to half of the book, then realized that I was the problem and that she was coping with things in her own way and it wasn't my place to determine how someone can heal from their traumas, which lead to me really liking her as a character and respecting the strength she has.

Aelin I liked the entire time, but she also had a reputation to back up her behavior and personality, she had a backstory that we learned about that explained why she came off as impulsive and didn't share her plan with the people around her, she proved over and over again how badass she was, so when she was cocky it just made sense.

We didn't get any of those things with Bryce which made it really difficult to relate to her and not find her kind of annoying the majority of the time.

Also...

I never want to read the word "alphahole" ever again.

I never want to read a character unironically referring to themselves as the "Super Powerful and Special Magic Starborn Princess".

I'm just... so glad its over.

[h-pelessly]

June Reads

When You Left Me Speechless by Jess Christine (9/10) I loved this book so much. Most ARC reads are good enough, but they don’t make me feel anything. But this one was so cute. Not only did I enjoy it because it made me realize what I wanted in life, I loved Poppy and Logan’s story as well. Poppy is independent and wants to focus on school, so I kind of see myself through her. Logan’s a teacher, and the whole profession makes me swoon. The thing I didn’t love about the book is the FWB aspect, but other than that, I loved how patient Logan is with her. Poppy was mostly the iffy one in the relationship, but her concerns are valid. And she had a past where she let a man stand in the way of her future/education so she’s valid. The FWB aspect was unnecessary in my opinion because I feel like they were so enamoured with each other before that. The conflict in this one was stupid, but parents do unruly things for their children so I get it. I loved this one.

Our Secret Game by Janisha Boswell (7.3/10) This book wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either. The characters (found family) interacting with one another bothered me because how are you acting like this in your twenties but like I’m here for the romance which is there. Nora, which is a stupid name like how are you going to tell me this is a young adult? You can’t. Anyways, is trying to get over her ex for months, which is understandable, but like six months? Insanity like she’s still so mad like please have some maturity. Maybe it’s because I’ve never been led on or cheated on or anything? So she fake dates her best friend, who she has always thought was annoying which didn’t make sense to me. How are you claiming he’s your best friend when you act so much better/different with your girlfriends? He, Wes, is not your best friend!! Do not lie to me. But also, the girls are such bad friends like Cat is so engrossed with her bf like I get you had your book and moment, but your friend needs you???? And Elle or whatever the fuck her name is left Nora with her ex when it was clear she, Nora, was uncomfy??? Like i don’t care if u are uncomfy. If you guys are as good as friends as you claim, don’t leave her in moments of stress? Nora and Wes fake date, but it’s to Wes’s benefit because he’s always been in love with Nora so he is sweet. But also, Wes has STRONG family and individual problems. I don’t think it should’ve been resolved that quickly or a relationship could’ve fixed it. Anyway, I had iffy feelings about Wes. He was sweet and romantic, but also, like you need to grow up and realize you need help. I don’t think they should’ve ended up together. They are cute and stuff, but like Nora only gets with him due to forced proximity and her horniness. Wes deserves her, but he doesn’t need a relationship right now. I do love this was POC written and had an Asian non-MC.

Don't Let Her Stay by Nicola Sanders (6/10) This was an audiobook that I nearly DNF'ed. I wanted something like Freida McFadden bc her books are so easy to digest, but I didn't want to finish all her books so I decided to give mystery/thriller books a chance. I hated this one. It was so slow, and the gaslighting was INSANE. This woman marries a rich man, has a child, moves far in the countryside with him. Then, his daughter from another marriage visits, and weird stuff happens. False, it wasn't weird. It was just a kid fighting for their dad's love or whatever. The kid, Chloe, is 20 and calls her dad "daddy", is nasty to the wife, is creepy to their child or whatever. Everytime the wife tells the husband, he gaslights her as well as the half child or whatever. Anyways so they end up killing the husband because the wife is manipulated into thinking he is why his late wife, Chloe's mom, is dead, but it turns out that it was Chloe all along. I hated the characters so much. This book was honestly a waste of my time.

Her Wicked Plan by Hannah Jo (8/10) I really enjoyed this book. I didn't know if I'd be into it, but the blurb and tropes seemed interesting as an ARC reader. I love Veronica and the insane asylum. I love how much character Veronica had, but Leo on the other hand... he's... something. He was annoying and a little whiny bitch, but when he's with Vee, I suddenly can stand him. Leo is the voice of reason and whatnot but like he's also an overthinker and needs to be a little more professional (or vice versa, but make up your damn mind.) And the spice?! Oh lord. Makes me think unholy things I want to try. The ending definitely fucked me up. Even though it's expected, it still took me by surprise like how was she able to fake it that much? Granted, she is a patient at an asylum and pleaded mental insane, but that freaking hurt as a romance girlie. But could I have liked it if that ending didn't happen and they got their HEA?

Wrecked by Lauren Asher (7/10) This has been the best one so far out of her Dirty Air series, but the tension is so immediate and the same, it's repetitive. Like I don't feel anything at all. I've come to the realization that F1 is a hot sport, but the way it's written makes you expect it to be a hot sport and them as celebrities. Maybe because she also admitted Lewis Hamilton, a real life F1 driver, was Jax. It's weird, but I mean besides the look, it shouldn't be like him. Unless it is then it's weird. Elena surprisingly had a very heavy and dark background for being a sunny character. Jax did as well, and to find out he has the disease just killed me like this man is going through it. I also hated the way Lauren wrote about his anxiety and then it's just forgotten. Overall, the better book out of the other two with heavy characters, but some parts bored me so much.

Overtime by Mari Loyal (9.5/10) I actually really liked this one. I thought I liked the first one, but this one felt so much better. Maybe because it seemed like the perfect book for someone who I read growing up (since the first book was 5/6 years ago and Aran, the MMC, grew up.) The tension and angst made me giggle so much, and the FMC was such a cutie pie who struggled to love herself because she surrounded herself with people who didn't love her for herself. She's also an author so that made me love her so much more. The way this book was a clean romance/closed door one, but it had me giggling and kicking my feet so much. I also loved the fact that more hockey is on page in this one. Like are you just writing about it because it's hot or because you know it? I love tutor x jock trope so this was definitely right up my aisle. I'm so proud of Mari Loyal.

The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelidas (7.5/10) I throughly enjoyed this audiobook. It was long and out of my comfort zone, yes. But I did love how detailed the author goes into psychotherapy and just the therapy aspect of it. Long story short, Alicia shoots her husband, Gabriel, and is placed in an insane asylum instead of jail because she goes silent. Theo wants to figure out why so he works as her therapist. I thought it was super weird how invested Theo was to Alicia's story at first like I know it's like a celebrity death/murder in a small town, but this dude was too obsessed like let it go!!! To find out he's behind why she killed her husband like that made so much sense. But the fact that he tried to drug her after he got her to talk again. I'm so fucking confused. Anyways, it was a good book, but I'm not too keen on the genre.

The Reluctant Roommate by Angela Casella (6.8/10) It wasn't horrible, but I didn't have a fun time reading it. I just got so bored reading it and it felt so long for no reason whatsoever. I got this for free during a SYK event, and when reading the tropes, I was interested, but it's part of a series. Technically it's a standalone, yes, but I believe the best way to read it is in order to feel the character development and to grow an attachment to them. Literally they were just characters on a piece of paper for me, and like the characters had zero chemistry. Like how are you going to tell me that he's been in love with her since he was six because he brings her a cup of water??? I love the FMC's sassiness, but in this case, it made her extremely childish because again, the author expects you to know her personality and doesn't explain it well in this book. Don't even get me started on the fairy godparents aka the PI investigators. Who the FUCK do they think they are? Like this bitch Nicole does some good or at least helps her out and expects her, the FMC, and literally everyone else to bow at her feet. She was so infuriating. Idk, this book was just not for me.

[raphexim]

Literally the only Gosling film I'd ever seen before Barbie was Remember the Titans like 25 years ago.

Jesus that makes me feel old. I am. Christ.

(it's only 23 years? That's... not better)

Working my way through belatedly so imma just use this post to keep track of thoughts and feelings

The Gray Man: fucking loved it so much??? Murder weapon turned unwilling father figure??? Sad grumpy dads are my one trope to rule them all, particularly when bound with found family. I'd wanna play checkers with Six. Like the characters were super compelling to me, the way they showed development and how everything felt character driven to me? And there were such good unspoken implications that also expanded on these characters without burdening the storytelling. AND the lack of gore!!!! This was a super violent movie and it only got a PG-13 because you literally don't need to show that shit on a screen. Bless

The Nice Guys: I expected to be aced out by the whole porno thing, but it was more nudity with implications than *the do* and I guess that didn't cross the line for me. And honestly pretty mild at that. The plot has holes. So many holes. Russell Crowe's accent was distracting. And crazily, I didn't really care about any of that, because the characters and their dynamics and chemistry were just chef's kiss. I love Holland? And I love that he is a disaster. I would not like him in person. There is a little gore at the end, but if you consider physics, it's not realistic at all (crazy how you can convey a visual without having to emotionally scar your audience, who knew???). This is the only one I have re-watched so far, and now have the book so that I can consume my comfort in multiple forms.

La La Land: idk. The music was good. Ryan walks some kind of way. I was VERY impressed with his piano skills. (I was raised by a pianist, so I have to notice that stuff, which makes me sound pretentious I'm so sorry). Idk what happened. I have no idea what the message was, or if there even was one. It seemed like it was trying to have one?? But like "you can either fall in love, follow your dreams, or be successful, but only two out of three. And if you get rid of one, you're guaranteed to get the others." Idk. Very meh, probably won't watch again except for specifically the piano playing.

Lars and the Real Girl: tbh my only context for this movie was an episode of Pushing Daisies where a delusional guy used his doll to murder someone, so. I did not have high expectations. Also had no idea RG had anything to do with it. *And* my tolerance level for secondhand embarrassment is on the fucking floor so I expected to have to turn it off. I didn't. Fuck. This movie was so wholesome???? The treatment of a mental illness was so supportive and positive??? (Except for the touch thing, that was... Let people not want to be touched!)

The Notebook: hi, I hated the Notebook. I don't get the hype, I don't know why people treat it like the ultimate romance. Man coerces a girl into a date by threatening to kill himself, she retaliates by publicly humiliating him. They scream at each other a lot. Poor communication. Obsessive behavior?? Literally so creepy??? Anyway they're terrible for each other and it's an unhealthy relationship. Ryan with brown eyes. Only rewatching if it's to roast and drink.

Half Nelson: made me uncomfy, but that was the point, right? It's a white savior movie but it's about being a white savior movie. The racial subtext of a white guy stepping in inappropriately and what the fallout of that is; stack on the nuance of addiction, male entitlement. How powerful of a moment for Drey to ask "will I end up like my brother" and Dan being the one to make her so. (Also the performance by Shareeka Epps? Spellbinding.) The writer who became a teacher and then never got around to writing? Real. So was the fact that nothing happened professionally after he did what he did to his coworker. Very pre-Me Too. Anthony Mackey was both the most charismatic and, somehow, most responsible character in the entire thing. My only actual beef is the camera work. This last bit is petty - they finally gave me a RG character with a cat, and the cat dies (but, very single white bachelor to name him Dave omg.)

Crazy, Stupid Love: uhhhhh the children involved in this were... this wasn't good. There could have been good lessons for them (the son with consent maybe??) (*not* depicting a teenage girl giving suggestive photos to a child???) but there weren't. There were good aspects in the story, don't get me wrong: exploring relationships, trying to find your identity outside of just 'who you're married to'. I get it. Everything that wasn't actively trying to teach a lesson was funny. The parts that were meant to be heartfelt, did not age well and also probably weren't great to begin with. Maybe that's the male gaze idk. I wanted more of Jacob and Cal's actual relationship, because what was being suggested between the lines was way more interesting to me than the actual plot. Jacob with the family/bonding with Cal's kids completely off-screen, are you kidding me? Cal being a really weird, awkward stand-in for Jacob's father? Jacob accidentally being written demi-romantic and having a crisis about it? I'd love someone to remake this movie. Preferably women-directed. [But I am obsessed with the second Jacob heard David's name and had zero hesitation, just ring off 'we doin this'. He's a real one.]

Can you tell I have feelings about overuse of sex and gore? Esp how it's been the last few years? Ugh. Like I want to watch Drive bc it sounds like it's supposed to be an ✨iconic✨ role for him but I get squicked out by chunks/organs and stuff and I have no idea how graphic it is. Can we go back to shit being implied, off screen, or at least artistic again???

I'm not tagging this, it's for me lmao