#it's so creepy and uncomfy and i love it so fucking much

[crmsndragonwngss]

People Watching (2024) by 156/Silence SharpTone Records

Full res scans (300dpi)

[infictionalwonderland]

. . . fred weasley with it girl veela girlfriend (you, bitch!)

babe.

he is your biggest fucking fan

drooling and wide eyes when he even HEARS the click of ur cunty shoes xxx

genuinely stand by the fact he has shirts with ur face on

to him, you’re everything & more

no1 advocate for anything you do

‘yeah, love, you should do that. definitely’

‘mhmm, anything you want darling’

GRRRRRRRR 🐱🐱🐱🐱

eats up every single one of ur cunty fits

you look so damn good babe and he makes sure you know it

‘you’re the most beautiful girl i have ever seen, love. seriously’

‘if you don’t stop smiling like that, im gonna be forced to take you against this fucking wall love’

OOPSIES

HOW DID THAT GET THEERRREEEE

knows the whole school and literally the whole world is obsessed with you and is here for it

(but is also not)

he loves that people know how special you are bc you fckn are

but like

when he sees whores staring at you with gaping mouths and starry eyes he’s like

she’s MINE.

doesn’t enjoy people staring at his girl

10000% the type to wrap his arms around you and pull you back into him, genuinely acting as a shield for the stares

pd(bloody)a!!!

he’s a big big fan

obvs if it makes you uncomfy, he’ll understand and back off! your comfort is his main concern

HOWEVER

if you like it just like he does…

arm wrapped around you waist while you’re walking around

HANDDD HOLDING

he loves cuddling you

ur like his squishmallow 😘😘😘

he really enjoys showing you, all the time, how much you mean to him. how obsessed he is with you. bc he wants you to know

will readily admit to the fact he is very much on ur pink bedazzled leash xxxxx

he’s ur mf bitch ❤️❤️❤️

if ppl try and take the mick out of him for it he literally could not care less

and what???? it’s true

he would kiss the ground you walked on if you asked

if he notices you getting uncomfortable w ppl staring at you, he’s not afraid to confront them (if you want that)

‘yeah, mind looking anywhere bloody else mate?’

‘if you done leering at my girl you wanker, feel free to piss off’

if people happen to not heed his warning, he’s not afraid to fight someone for you

(one time he did and arthur got called in to ‘deal’ with his son—he gave him an approving hug and a chocolate frog)

you & the weasels are like this 🤞

ginny does not resent you bc ur a veela, IN FACCTTTT she actually really looks up to you and admires you, knowing you’re so much more than ur beauty

she’s wants to BE you

(apart from the dating her brother part, gag)

george calls you ‘little legend’ he thinks you’re great for making his brother so starstruck and mushy-goey all the soft things.

genuinely cannot wait for the day you become his sister in law 🤧

after ron got over his creepy little crush, he’s grown to see you as someone he adores (even if he would never admit it) and someone he really feels safe with

you make him feel wanted in his family and actually loved—for that, he loves you more

charlie thinks ur an absolute riot 😭😭

the first time you met you had pulled a prank on the twins, turning their skin lilac and giving them unicorn horns with fuzzy purple fur everywhere (human unicorns)

he’s adored you ever since

bill loves you like a little sister and fleur and you are legit best mates!!!

arthur holds you very dear to him as he sees how good you are for his son and how much of a good individual you are in general

molly was slightly hesitant initially

BUTTT then you knitted her and arthur winter hats for christmas, sent them with a cutesy note and some sweets and she knew she’d love you

(she really, truly does)

#fredweasleyisurseximinion

he wrote that himself xxxx

[altschmerzes]

So many of the "ship and let ship" "curate your online experience" people get mad when you? Try to do that? Like I agree with those sentiments, I don't care what other people do but also like. The whole point is that people shouldn't have to see or interact (let alone hype up!) things they are uncomfortable with or don't like. It's kind of wild to me how insecure and like. Self-victimizing people are about people not wanting to see or even just not being excited about stuff that they admit is "taboo"!! Like it's taboo because it's not mainstream and most people aren't into it or think is gross! If that's what you're into fine, but you have to accept that most people will think it's weird and not want to interact with it.

that's exactly it, the insecurity and self-victimizing attitude of people who bang on about that is like. the most eye-rolling part of it to me. like if you're gonna make your whole personality centre around being the Gross Fucked Up Abusive Things Shipper you can't really be upset when people give you a wide berth or don't want that shit around them lmao. like people expressing a personal opinion or not wanting to see your shit or not wanting you to interact with their work is not like... can you calm down and be quiet lmao. you can go ahead and use your 'do whatever you want forever' to have your gross bullshit, i'll go ahead and use mine to call it gross bullshit. block me about it. i have no power here.

and it like... it really does strike me how people who are Like This will often be the biggest culprits of the behaviour they scream about how no one should do. 'ship whatever you want' until the answer is 'not your ship' lmao. i see this so much from people who whine about like... characters who aren't related biologically or through adoption but could easily have a familial interpretation of their dynamic/have a found family thing going on/call each other familial terms etc, and how people will accuse them of 'shipping incest' for shipping those characters. when i doubt that's really happening so much as they are seeing other people's posts where theyre saying 'i dont ship these characters it feels weird to me, i see them as xyz' and taking that really personally and characterizing it as an attack. whereas they will then be making a bunch of catty snide posts about how anyone who sees x and y as [insert dynamic here] is CREEPY and WEIRD because they're SOOOOOOOOO obviously fucking/in love/whatever.

like sorry which one of us is forcing opinions on other people and bringing morality into it again? me, who's writing my fic where two characters have a sibling like relationship and am uncomfortable with ship content of them above and beyond my normal romance repulsion because that interpretation is just So prominent in my mind, or you, the person making a bunch of posts mocking anyone who doesn't ship them and saying they're creepy and weird for seeing them as siblings because YOU ship them so obviously that means i'm the one doing something wrong because it doesn't... conform to your ship. and might make you feel a little uncomfy if you run across it in the wild.

it's such a clear inability to manage personal discomfort and 'i feel invalidated' lmao. which is just something that i have zero patience or sympathy for at this point like on an entirely petty and personally spiteful level i would like to invite any of them to experience being romance repulsed and in fandom for ten minutes, it will cure them of their inability to manage their own discomfort and weird feelings right quick.

[snowy-wife]

RRRRRRGGGGG HAPPY MOTHERFUCKIN ANNIVERSARY ERIC. I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I know I have said it before but I have to say it again, I cannot believe Eric wants to be with me and likes me. I swear to god he is lying but I am really so happy and thankfully he likes me. I've always thought he would hate my guts and entire being because of how I am. Instead he likes my craziness and weirdness. He accepts me for who I am and calls me his "Creepy girl", he even calls me his "Cemetery girl" now after I showed him Cemetery Girl by ICP. Even though he's not keen on me being bisexual and into girls he still accepts me for who I am and loves me for me. Yes he can be a little homophobic but thankfully he doesn't go on rants about it and he has pushed it out of his mind, he told me "You're with me and like boys more so I don't care. Just don't talk about girls around me like that" and honestly, I respect his boundaries with that and I've always kept my mouth shut. I've said a girl is pretty but I've tried not saying things that would make him uncomfy. I also just have a disgustingly huge irrational fear of him hating me and it's been drilled into my head since I was like 5 or 6 years old. My love is so deep and strong for him it had me paralyzed as a kid when it came to him. I had to ignore his existence and act like I never loved or liked him, but it was so obvious I did and do. I just can't believe it's our anniversary. I really do love him so much. I love him so deeply and truly and it drives me insane. It makes me hurt myself and I hate it but I also love it because I love him so much that not only would I destory the world for him I would destory myself if he wanted. I would destory existence itself if he wanted. I also love how he is so eager to learn stuff about witchcraft and wants to constantly help out. He's always asking if I'm gonna do a spell or if my mom is, he's always so open and excited to learn about it and it makes me so happy. I don't know how many times I've cried because of how greatful I am I have someone I can share it with. He loves all the witchy and spirit stuff. Hell he loves being dead and being a spirit, he's told me it's cool and he really enjoys it but he also doesn't like being dead because he misses his mom and everything. He is so sweet and kind and loving and caring and I love it. I love how sensitive he is because he truly is a great lover and spouse. I love him so much more than what I can even grasp, what anyone can even grasp. I wanna talk about how much I love him but I can't find the words I just want to rant about how much I love him and talk about him– Like, I so very much love how he wants a traditional marriage with me and he wants me to be his house wife. He picked out some dresses for me to buy / make sometime and I am so impatient and eager to buy / make them. I want to wear them for him so bad. I love how we both love history, well he only likes WW2, and the macabre and we can just sit there for hours on end talking about Nazi Germany and everythig. We can sit there for hours and talk about cannibalism and murder and rape and it's so fucked up but time flies by so fast. I know one time we sat there talking about cannibalism and what the consistency and texture of an eyeball would be and then we got to talking about Necrophilia versus Spectrophilia when it came to our relationship. I just...... I love how I can freely talk about the stuff I love with him without him judging and actively participating in the conversation. I love how dear he is to me. He tries so much to help me when I'm upset and I appreciate it so much. I love him indefintely and I will always be his. Even when nothing is left to be anything. I will always be his girl. In the past, in this here present, and in the future. In every life. Every existence. Every universe. Every reality. Every species. We will always be each others and I will always be his. In fiction and non fiction. In life and death. I actually started crying while writing this because of how much I love him.

[hulludragon]

MAJOR EP 10 spoilers under cut!!!

Just finished reading episode 10... and I have a lot of opinions abt ed specifically... Feel free to skip. I talk a lot abt how much I do NOT like Ed... so uh Ed enjoyers who can't handle that, dni, and skip ^^'' I'm sure there's gonna be someone out there who shares y'alls love for the fucker! no hate to y'all!!< 333

HOOOLY SHIT I AM ACTUALLY GONNA BASH EDS HEAD IN!!!!!! HES SHOVING HIS FACE INTO EVERYONES BUSINESS, NOT HELPING ANYONE AND IS JUST OVERALL A GENERAL NUICANCE- Before I didn't really care but now?? I CANNOT STAND HIM- esp. after the interaction with Towa :/ I feel like he gets some sick and twisted joy in bothering literally everyone Even the scene where he interrogates Rui on how he felt after sucking the life-energy of the hopgoblin?? fucking foul. He probs knew mc was listening in and made it even clear Rui also has a mark on the back of his neck :/ Not to mention how unnecessarily creepy he is??like the yucky unwanted touching, personal questions and overall uncomfortable closeness. Hes such a creep 😭 he makes me so creeped out and uncomfy whenever hes around... Anyways what I've gathered from this is that the only normal character here is Rui and the only sane character is Lyca. I cannot believe they pulled all of this unnecessary angst I think this has made me more mad than it should've I need to go take a breather I just RAHHH

I seriously hate Ed :/

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

Would love to know more about your thoughts on Kiss Me Kate and Next To Normal! :)

Kiss Me Kate I saw primarily for one reason and that is Stephanie J Block, who did not disappoint. She was perfectly cast as Lilli Vanessi, her comedic timing and gorgeous soprano vocals absolutely carried the production. Unfortunately the whole show was dragged down by the fact that Adrian Dunbar (who my dad was super excited about bc he’s obsessed with line of duty) simply is not a musical theatre performer. His vocals are fine but he did nothing to make the already dubious character of Frederick more likable (all the jokes about Peter Davison’s character being old and creepy don’t land at all when the other option is only a tiny improvement), and he had absolutely no chemistry with Stephanie. The applause at the end of Where Is The Life That Late I Led was giving being really proud of your son for giving an okay performance in a school play. So In Love only works if the guy playing Frederick is this very powerful force of charisma and instead I was just like “I’m so happy for you and your ugly fucking ex husband”

I think Kiss Me Kate just… kind of isn’t a very good musical? I’m not even talking about the sexist stuff, which I think this production mostly managed to alleviate with a few smart choices, it’s just not paced very well, nothing about the romance feels earned, like a third of the first act is just copy pasted taming of the shrew and I can count on one hand the songs I both love musically and as storytelling pieces. It actually made me appreciate guys and dolls so much more, because while that show definitely has its dated elements it’s also practically unimpeachable structurally. The first act of KmK was a downright uncomfy slog at times, but fortunately the second act was much funnier and more enjoyable. I loved basically everyone in the supporting cast aside from Adrian, Georgiana does a super dynamic Always True To You, the ensemble absolutely bodied Too Darn Hot and the gangsters were an absolute riot. Merlin found the Shakespeare jokes amusing.

[pro-mammonologist]

I wanted to answer your “would you really date the obey me Boys” question in an ask if that’s okay 🥺

For mammon, who is my absolute favorite. He would piss me off so badly in the beginning with how rude and stubborn he is, I just would hold a grudge. It would take me a very long time with us warming up to eachother to even be friends. Eventually maybe we could be something more when he opens up.

Solomon is another one of my favorites but irl I think he’d weird me out. Like he’d give me creepy vibes.

I would have the BIGGEST crush on Lucifer but would be so turned off by his personality bc he’s very brash.

Barbatos and I would never connect bc we are both quiet. It would take us a ridiculously long time to get to know eachother. But I would probably still have a crush on him.

I would find Levi incredibly irritating. I hate people who are overly self deprecating and I would think he’s rude. Eventually we would bond over needy stuff but we would absolutely never date.

Irl I do not like blondes so no Satan

Asmos and I would just be besties

Beel is not my type irl but I would think he’s so sweet I’d probably have a little crush

Absolutely fucking not for Belphie. I would hate him and think he’s so rude. A big one I only like in theory.

I’d like to think Simeon and I have a chance, but I think he’s way too nice for me.

And for Dia, I am very quiet so his loudness and big personality would definitely scare me.

But I read fics about all of them expect for asmo. He’s just really not my type. But in my head I can change the senarios to fit exactly what I want to I can work out with all of them. I am in a poly relationship with all of them in my head.

Lemme give my two sense too.

So I would think Lucifer is so hot and he’d turn me on so badly but then I’d see how he’s such as asshole to his brothers and I don’t really fuck with tough love all that much. After he softens up later then I’d go back to being turned on all the time.

Mammon would annoy me with his ego but seeing his personality and like his actual morals and stuff would make me mega attracted to him. His spending is my only problem just cuz I grew up poor and stuff.

Levi is like the guys I’d usually attract and I know I’d be uncomfy because I prefer people who have it more together like as much as I relate to the recluse vibes I need people who aren’t as afraid of the world cuz I’m TERRIFIED.

Satan is probably who I’d date fr fr. He’s basically a less mean version of Lucifer that really likes cats and he’s a lot less sadistic period. He probably is the most likely to share my political beliefs as well. (Mammon would too because he gives so much anarchistic vibes, Satan needs some structure)

Asmo would be my bff and I’d be scared to fuck him because I just know his standards are high. Would be horny with him all the time though.

Beel is perfect for real but he’s like too soft and sweet. I need someone with more personality and a bigger presence.

Belphie is a definite no. I enjoy sleeping and chilling and I get wanting to rest all the time cuz I’m like chronically fatigued but his “fuck everything” attitude pisses me off. He also seems to be very passive aggressive and I hate that shit.

Diavolo is probably also ideal for me minus the literal royal status of his. I hate hate hate hierarchies and rich people but Dia is so open and kind and not to mention progressive so I lowkey would vibe with him hard. I would absolutely wanna be dicked down regularly by him.

Barb is great but since he’s so hard working I feel like I would be lacking in a relationship with him. I’m more laid back and lenient and he’s not.

Simeon is cool and is also someone I’d realistically date but something about him just screams token gay friend. That’s the dynamic I feel I’d have with him.

Solomon is someone who I used to hate but in nightbringer I’m like “ooookkkaaaayyyyy” cuz he’s slowly becoming more my type. I think I would also find him creepy at first but then after some time id def get a lil 👀

So really

Lucifer: not at first, later on

Mammon: not at first, later on, but would be ideal for me

Levi: no

Satan: yes

Asmo: no

Beel: eh but would fuck fs

Belphie: no

Dia: yes

Barb: no

Simeon: ?

Solomon: yes later on

[johnentwistlesbassguitar]

I want to add more to my tommy/ernie post from a few days ago so I'm gonna spill a bunch of thoughts here (some are gonna be nasty so like watch out hehe)

Ok starting with a pretty soft idea I had, I've been thinking abt Tommy wanting to feel and touch Ernie to give himself an idea of what Ernie actually looks like (don't ask me how literally anything Tommy does works idfk) but Ernie would be so nervous bcs how do you act when someone as beautiful as Tommy is feeling you up 🥴 (not actually what's happening but that's how Ernie sees it) Tommy would find Ernies body so perfect tho bcs he's warm and soft and is such a good pillow, I can't get over the thought of Tommy sleeping with his head on Ernies stomach and Ernie just brushing his hands through Tommy's soft curls wondering if this is what real love feels like 😖

More softness then I'll add some important things abt their relationship, I've been picturing Tommy wearing Ernies clothes bcs they'd be so big on him and also remind him of Ernie which makes him feel safe (Tommy only feels safe around Ernie bcs he's familiar and occasionally shows Tommy love don't start thinking he's actually good for Tommy or anything)

Ernie would only start to get really creepy towards Tommy after he goes blind/deaf/mute bcs for some reason that helplessness in Tommy just awakened something in him before than he'd be very sweet and kind to Tommy just to get his trust so he can do things to him later but after there'd be no reason to pretend since Tommy isn't gonna tell anyone no matter what, Tommy though would be wondering why is dear sweet uncle suddenly got so hurtful :(

Another thought abt young Tommy but his parents would let him spend the day with Ernie and he would come back with bite marks on him or smthn and they'd be so worried but obv Tommy can't tell them and neither of them really want to confront Ernie bcs their smart enough to know what's going on and they wouldn't want to stop it bcs it gives them the opportunity to get rid of Tommy most of the time 💔

Last thing abt younger Tommy but he would start regressing in his teenage years due to the abuse from Ernie and he'd end up getting so paranoid/anxious all the time (also I feel like Tommy would still have the mind of a child he doesn't really understand the world around him which leads to him letting Ernie take advantage of him and also he's just confused all the time poor boy)

Now some freaky thoughts, Ernie would come home from a day of work so pissed off for wtv reason and just rail Tommy so incredibly hard to blow off steam, Tommy would sense how angry Ernie is (and feel it too) but notice that he's much more relaxed after so the pain wouldn't bother him as much if it's making Ernie feel better, Tommy would also have like handprint marks on his ass from Ernie slapping it all the time and maybe some bruises/bite marks (Ernie wouldn't want to damage Tommy's pretty body too much but a couple marks won't hurt anything right?)

A scenario also is Ernie dressing Tommy up in the most uncomfy fucking lingerie just so he can stare at Tommy and admire him but Tommy doesn't understand why he's not allowed to take it off and doesn't like how Ernie is looking at him (he can feel the lust) so when Ernie isn't looking he takes it off which means he's fully naked now and well Ernie told him to keep his clothes on so ofc Tommy needs to be punished for being such a little slut (sorry this is so gross and mega horny but ugh omfg)

(Also ty @dannyawesome65 for some ideas hehehe 💖💖)

[freckliedan]

https://www.tumblr.com/freckliedan/769058798077902848/im-sorry-but-if-youve-only-been-a-phannie-since?source=share

i agree with you a lot (saying this as a REALLY new phannie, ive only been here a few months). hugs.

i feel like just simply wondering if someone could be trans shouldnt necessarily be seen as 'creepy speculation', and i notice that in general (with other youtubers/celebs etc not just phan) that when fans question if they're outside of what is considered to be the 'norm' in any way (such as queer, trans, neurodivergent etc) people call them creepy, parasocial, etc. but the same is not done if fans automatically assume them to be cis, straight or neurotypical. i feel like ppl upset with dangender may possibly be seeing it incorrectly, thinking that people are saying 'because dan said/did this, that means he MUST be this' but i haven't seen a singular person who posts dangender act like that, and i follow a LOT of ppl. the vast majority of what i see isn't even speculation, it's just positivity and ppl being happy about things he said/did, and being happy that he's happy.

being trans myself, i actually feel really happy that ppl find comfort/happiness in the idea of dan being of the cisn't variety and see it as a positive and beautiful thing. in media and real life it feels like transphobia is really loud, but little things like seeing people celebrate it here is what keeps me going. i'm not personally someone who believes in the idea per se (to me dan is just dan whatever he is haha), but i like seeing people be positive about it.

of course, not everyone will fuck with stuff like dangender and they dont have to, but like you said blocking/blacklisting words is always the best way to go about that. because otherwise it can come across as demonising something that someone only does to find comfort in. my time on the internet has made me learn that it's not always a personal attack against you if they're doing something you either dont like or find uncomfy. in fact a lot of the time it's not. i say this very gently to ppl against it, a random internet user who posts dangender is not doing it to hurt you or dan.

(linked post, with a lot of great additions in the tags)

anon! i'm really late to replying to this but thank you for chipping in! i sat on a handful of asks because i didn't want to accidentally create a strong discourse or answer asks while emotionally disregulated. and then bc i forgor.

but i'm still answering bc i especially love hearing from people with different phandom experiences & opinions from me 💛 AND because i know that so many people find joy and comfort in these kinda celebrations of whatever it is dan's doing.

i think you're really hitting the nail on the head w the creepy speculation thing—i've seen this reaction be especially strongest when it comes to speculation abt transness (esp transfemininity) and autism. it's a double standard! and it's coming from unexamined prejudice.

i think learning things aren't a personal attack is probably the most important possible piece here. over the years i've seen so many people behave poorly on phannie tumblr bc their feelings of validity in their personal identity were tied to their opinion of dan or phil's identity.

this was happening about sexuality labels before dnp came out, too—people used to get nasty about defending their bisexuality or gayness. and that pretty much always came from a lack of space between self identity and percieved identity of dnp.

i have a lot of compassion and understanding for people in that boat wrt dangender, you know? especially people younger than me. i used to run several queer support groups for young people, and every time someone was being hurtful with their views on gender it came from personal struggle.

i can't like, ignore it or let it slide, though. i love my kids from those groups to this day, but they didn't just hurt each other with some of their views. they really hurt me too. it makes it easy to spot when people are coming from the same perspective on here wrt dangender, even if it might be less overt and intentional shittiness.

i don't want to play dolls online with people who are in that kind of mindset! and that's why we love the block and mute functions of online.

& i also love finding & sharing joy on here about gender bc yeah! it fucking sucks most places. but we're home here 💛

[local-tim-stoker-enthusiast]

So. Um. Yeah. Have this.

So I guess I'll be doing an intro if I'm going to be posting more then.

previously @gay-rtc-induced-dillemma

pfp done by the lovely @theycallmejeezycreezy !!!!

Ask are currently: on! no media

So. My name is Millie, but I also go by Reynie! My pronouns are They/Them but I go by any, really. It doesn't matter much. I don't use "dude" or "bro" as gendered terms, so if you're uncomfy with that just lmk!!

I'm currently incredibly fixated on... drumroll please...: The Magnus Archives and MCR!! (Malevolent is slowly creeping up now)

English is my first language

!!I AM A MINOR!!, so please don't be creepy.

My fav books: A Good Girl's Guide To Murder and The Book Thief

Standard DNI, also if you're just a fucking creep please leave 💕

My favorite bands/artists are: MCR, The Decemberists, The Front Bottoms, Chappell Roan, Pierce The Veil, Lil Peep, Weezer, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Surf Curse, & McCafferty (green: least likely to post about - red: most likely to post about)

Well, THAT was painstaking to write. back to my hobbit hole now. bye bye. have a lovely day.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

omfg i really hope u finished sk8 the infinity bc that is the most fun, colourful, draindead show I have ever watched and I would sell my soul to the devil for a s2 to come faster.

but like, who’s ur favourite character? langa will always be dear to my heart bc of just how dense he is sometimes. like he genuinely cannot comprehend most things that happen around him and that just adds to his charm.

also am i the only one who was super fucking weirded out by the way adam interacted with the kids?? the dub is just so much more creepy than the sub and he’s just so much worse around these children- the way he speaks to miya, the nicknames he gives reki and the way he behaves with poor sweet langa is so uncomfy to watch???

I finished it and I LOVED it.

Langa’s my favorite character for much of the same reason. Oh my god he’s so dense and so good. My beautiful boy. All he knows is Board and Love Reiki. He’s so chill. He was just like “I have Never Skateboarded in my Life. The first try should be on this Death Mountain in an event with explosives involved. I will destroy the competition.” I simply adore him. I think we should just keep putting him on different types of boards to see if he can qualify on an Olympic level in them within the span of months. Surfboard. Wakeboard. Other types of board. He is so beautiful and so good.

Oh Adam is so uncomfortable to watch during this, especially his entire thing with langa. He’s always giving him roses and touching him and calling him his Eve. He has an entire wall filled with video footage of him. He had cameras following him when he wasn’t even at S. He openly calls Reiki the third wheel as if Langa doesn’t go into immediate depression if his boyfriend is not there to watch him skate. If the post-credits montage is accurate, then he parachuted from the sky with a bouquet of roses when Langa turned 18. Like this is fully stalking and deeply upsetting please go away.

[tothestarsinvelaris]

I finished HOFAS (finally oh my goodness) and honestly .... I'm so glad its over

(a long and ranty post with spoilers fyi)

best parts of hofas and crescent city in general (the bonus chapters were honestly so good):

Nesta and Azriel being badass, seeing more of their powers and fighting

Azriel enjoying club music and heavy metal

Nesta asking Bryce to show them how the phones worked and implying that the IC sat there with the phone for who knows how long trying to figure it tf out

Ember not being scared of Rhys at all and standing up to him, her scolding him for giving Nesta such a hard time, her starting to heal Nesta's mommy issues.

Ember seeing Nesta through the portal and saying "is that one of the princes of Hel??" (lmao I laughed so hard tbh)

Any scene at all that involved Ruhn. Specifically Ruhn and Lidia

RUHN AND LIDIA'S BONUS CHAPTER!!!! Ruhn being a little soft boy crying and just being so in love ugh

Lidia's sons being impressed by Ruhn and making sure he would take care of their mom

Lidia threatening to shoot Ruhn in the head if he got in the way of her saving her sons (tbh, facts)

the rest of that book was ..... not good I fear 😬

bc I'm sorry, you're telling me that she opened a black hole to eat another black hole; Hunt was able to stand at the edge of it without getting sucked in, then gets into a mechsuit and can just jump in and save her. Then all their friends use their magic and love to keep the portal to the black hole open while Hunt carries Bryce out of it; Bryce dies but oh look at that, Hypaxia showed up out of nowhere and used her extra cool magic powers as the new Head of House of Flame and Shadow to pull the ol' switcheroo and trade Bryce's soul (somehow) for Jesiba's and then poof Bryce is alive again and cracking her chessy, not funny jokes immediately when everyone is literally sobbing around her bc she was dead????? hello ???

and when Tharion showed up with the water and Hunt's lightning is apparently ineffective because of the water, but the HOSAB he was afraid to use his lightning in the water because it would have fried everyone that was in it????

and Bryce ditches Azriel and Nesta to fight the wyrm and then is confused why they're mad at her and don't trust her fr?? she doesn't explain anything to them and is confused when they figure out the power she has and that she has the horn tattooed in her back and want to bring her to Rhys to talk?? she lets a creepy Asteri woman out of her 15000 year old tomb to ask her questions and is then mad when Nesta kills her bc she wanted to ask more questions?!?! she steals the Starsword from Azriel and is confused when they draw their weapons on her too?! She steals Truth-Teller and then opens a portal back to her own world and is like "oops, hope they'll forgive me! teehee!" ?!?!?!?!?! and then has the audacity to assume that Nesta will just give her the damn mask of death because she asked nicely!??! shit, she's lucky she got Nesta when she was alone and used her parents as bargaining chips to somebody with mommy and daddy issues bc anyone else would have either killed her or told her to fuck off.

we had like 8 really uncomfy and not good sex scenes between Bryce and Hunt where their magic was exploding and combining all over the place and it lasted like 4 seconds, but they're both just like "wow this is the best sex that has ever sexed!! we're so cool and special and anyone else who has sex is icky and gross!!" 😬

we could have taken away half of their scenes and replaced them with more detail on much more interesting characters such as Ruhn, Lidia, Ithan, Tharion, etc etc.

Especially more Ruhn and Lidia bc they were so damn cute and the only emotional investment I had in this entire series. I am a crier when it comes to books. Like, I sobbed during a lot of the emotional scenes in both TOG and ACOTAR. The only time I cried at all during the entire CC series was when Ruhn is trying to sacrifice himself to Pollux to save Lidia's sons and mind speaks to her that he loves her and that his soul fell in love with her and that his soul will find her in the next life. Like hello?? that's adorable and heart-wrenching and we deserved more of them!!!

And like....

Bryce honestly just wasn't it. She was so impulsive, so childish, so sassy and cocky and we didn't get enough background on her at any point in the series for it to make sense. We didn't get to see times where her sassiness and cockiness were challenged or proved useful to her in any way, we didn't get to see any backstory that made it make sense why she built up that exterior to protect her vulnerability. She does impulsive things and endangers the people around her, that she cares about the most, and then gets confused or upset when they aren't happy about it. She goes around acting like she's smarter than everyone else, is entitled to what she wants, and then gets irritated if people try to challenge her or don't want to go along with what she's asking.

I have really liked all of sjm's other female characters, Nesta and Aelin included, but Bryce just... wasn't it.

Nesta is a good comparison too bc I went back and forth on her as a character, then read ACOSF and didn't like her at all for the first 1/3 to half of the book, then realized that I was the problem and that she was coping with things in her own way and it wasn't my place to determine how someone can heal from their traumas, which lead to me really liking her as a character and respecting the strength she has.

Aelin I liked the entire time, but she also had a reputation to back up her behavior and personality, she had a backstory that we learned about that explained why she came off as impulsive and didn't share her plan with the people around her, she proved over and over again how badass she was, so when she was cocky it just made sense.

We didn't get any of those things with Bryce which made it really difficult to relate to her and not find her kind of annoying the majority of the time.

Also...

I never want to read the word "alphahole" ever again.

I never want to read a character unironically referring to themselves as the "Super Powerful and Special Magic Starborn Princess".

I'm just... so glad its over.

[basicallyjaywalker]

The stupidest thing ever in Ninjago:

The Love Triangle™

I feel the opinion that the love triangle in Ninjago is one of the worst subplots is not only popular but very correct. heck, even ten year old rook who loved drama and romance hated it because it felt fundamentally *wrong*

And I mean there's the obvious point: it wasn't necessary. We did not need a love triangle we had Jaya and things were fine. I actually think the love triangle fundamentally screwed up the otherwise goofy wholesome dynamic Jaya had and showcases some of the worst flaws in how Nya is written

But we did have it and I have a lot of thoughts about it so in this rant-masquerading-as-an-essay we will discuss

The timeline of the love triangle and Jaya generally

Why it's unnecessary, out of character, and generally pretty dumb as a recurring plot

Why Nya was the least wrong of everyone involved in it and also done the most dirty by it

Strap in because this is gonna be a very angry ride

To Recap…

Jaya was initially hinted at in the pilots with a line that was very uncomfy

" You have a sister? Is she hot?" *Gets elbowed for weird teenage boy crimes*

Thanks, I hate it, but Jay seems to be less creepy when the series actually starts and he has his clear crush on Nya. The crush even seems to be reciprocated and they appear to be unofficially official in S1 and S2, including Jay LOSING HIS MARBLES when Nya is captured and Cole makes an accidental pun

And then we hit S3 and I want to commit crimes.

In episode 1 of S3 there is an exchange wherein Nya is talking about how none of her male students listen to her and

Jay: Heyyy Ms. Nya, I saved you a pudding cup!

Nya: what did we talk about?

Jay: Oh right! Boundaries!

This exchange seems to imply that Jay and Nya are on a break, broken up, or possibly just not together in the first place and I misread things and now that they're older Jays teenage boy awkwardness is less endearing and more just creepy.

In any case, we can draw that Nya is trying to gain more independence, and why wouldn't she? Her life from the start of this series has been defined by either a) her brother or b) Jays affection for her. Even when she was Samurai X her main relationships were annoying the ninja or sharing the secret with Kai and hiding it from Jay. Keep this in mind for later.

So later they go to tour Borg Industries, with the guys visiting Mr. Borg himself and Nya staying with the students. As they tour the invention floor they find *gasp* a machine run on flash! No literally I'm convinced this was some interns pet project Cyrus didn't have the heart to reject. A love machine to find your perfect match and, for fun, Nya steps onto it. All of the little girls giggle and talk about how it'll OBVIOUSLY show Mr. Jay!! And then it beeps and everyone looks horrified. Its. Cole? Wait wtf why Cole?

Prior to this the machine listed a lot of Nya's traits and it seems that it's matching them based on that? It's still odd. Anyways, it'll probably be fine because neither Nya nor Cole has shown any sign of attraction before, even in this episode, and it would make no sense for Nya to suddenly develop a crush based on what a stupid machine says-- oh that's exactly what she does? Well.

Okay sure MAYBE Nya harbored affection for Cole before this. Or maybe the machine makes her realize how much they have in common and that's why. Surely if Cole shared similar thoughts he'd have shown them naturally, since he wasn't part of this whole machine thing as demonstrated in the sudden cut-- oh no he starts making moves and reciprocating out of fucking nowhere? Well.

And then Jay finds out and sure this man has a lot of insecurities and he's bound to be a little jealous but I'm sure since hes a grown adult with a least a little more maturity than when he was a teenager he won't react by beating his best friend to a bloody pulp-- oh ffs. Well.

I will get more into the characterization of everyone later but after this initial fight things do not get better. Jay and Cole are constantly hostile to each other in this season and it continues up until Skybound which was pretty good, actually, and I just wanted to punch Jay in the face for a. Portion. Which solidified Jaya after a healthy dose of trauma bonding! And from what I understand they live happily ever after until Seabound ripped all of our hearts out and turned them to fine mist but I haven't seen past Hands of Time so it doesn't matter

Now with that out of the way, let's get into

Why this entire thing was bullshit.

It was unnecessary

No but fr why did they write this in???? The main reason I can think of is it adds a conflict but here's the thing: if they wanted to develop Jaya, give them conflict and make them stronger as a couple they ALREADY HAD A STARTING POINT. Harken back to the pudding cup interaction earlier. There you go! Nya is tired of her life being defined by the men around her. She wants a break to be able to find herself and be independent again. Jay is insecure and worried this means she doesn't love him and overcompensates trying to "win her back." It offers opportunities for both comedy (Jay finding more and more elaborate ways to try and impress her while everyone else tries to break through to him that he's nuts) and actual serious lessons about relationships (Nya telling him that while she still loves him and maybe one day they can have a future, she needs space and the opportunity to find herself, and maybe he can take the time to find himself too). It genuinely wouldn't change much of the dynamic they have from rebooted to Skybound, is not entirely annoying, and doesn't do either of them dirty in the character development department.

The only other reason I can think of other than extra drama is they wanted to introduce a new relationship dynamic, that of Cole and Nya. But 1. It's obvious from the start that they're not endgame so it's pointless to explore them, it's just for drama. And 2. we already had Pixane this season introduced in the same episode and also know as The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Ninjago. So again, I reiterate that the love triangle was entirely unnecessary because of you wanted a new ship you had Pixane and if you wanted Jaya conflict you could just make it internal.

Everyone is written like me doing a Degrassi AU of this show

Let's start with Nya.

Nya is commonly characterized in the show as an independent, self-confident young woman who refuses to be in a boy's club. But don't take my word for it, because when I mentioned the machine that catalyzed this whole thing listed off details about her, that is exactly what it said. And I don't disagree with it, which is why it feels even stupider that in this whole thing, Nya is just sort of a bystander. Like, let's go through the OOC things she does throughout this plot

-listens to the machine at all

Nya comes across as the type of person who would not trust a simple machine with a dumb name (Perfect Match like really???) to decide her fate unless SHE made it. So for her to not only go along with using this thing with no reluctance, but also just DEVELOP FEELINGS for Cole out of the blue based on it?? Feels so out of character for her!! If anything it would feel more in character for her to get on the machine reluctantly after the girls beg her too, see it's Cole, laugh it off publicly ("haha, Cole? Must be broken") but then worry about it in private or just be unfazed. Nya's independence and desire to be defined by her own actions instead of her brother and his friends' contradicts this action because it just. Doesn't seem in character. IDK this as the catalyst just makes me nuts because of reasons I will get into when talking more about Nya later

-her affections towards cole

I already sort of covered this so I'll just reiterate. Prior to this, there were no clear indications that Nya liked Cole romantically. The machine seems to have planted the idea in her and she ran with it. We've discussed why that's OOC for her. Moving on.

-how she proceeds to act in the dynamic

She doesn't. This is more just bad writing and less her being OOC but it's still OOC that the most agency she gets is yelling at Jay and Cole for fighting at the junkyard and picking which wire to cut which amounted to nothing anyways grrrr--

Sorry that's another scene that makes me mad because it's very dumb. Anyways.

Nya literally feels like a bystander in this whole thing. Her general vibe seems to be. Annoyance with the whole thing. Which I get I'm annoyed too but that only sticks around for S3 and after? It's purely focused on Jay and Cole's conflict. Hell when they have a whole "she's yours you can have her" scene in S4 (which means nothing because it's still going in S5 and S6) SHES NOT EVEN PRESENT. It's just them talking about her like she's an object which feels OOC for both of them too.

I'm going to get more into this when I just talk about Nya so we're going to move on for now

To Cole. What the fuck my guy?

-developing feelings for nya

Never shown to have this before. Doesn't even have a machine to blame. It actually almost feels like he did it to spite Jay. Moving on.

-the fact that it just keeps going

Again Cole has NO reason or motivation or skin in this game? Like it's so weird that he just keeps fighting with Jay over it and is just as passionate about it. It feels like he should be more confused about where he stands on this. Maybe he likes Nya? He never considered it before but maybe he does. But also Jay is his friend and he knows Jay likes Nya too. It's so weird that he literally Mr. Steal Yo Girl's this thing OR just isn't listening to Nya when she obviously seems unsure about her relationship status

Cole's was short because his problems are very surface. He just is here for the plot to work because you can't have Kai do it, that's her brother, and you can't have Zane do it because he has a cool new android gf, and you can't have Lloyd do it bc that's his found family sister. But it just feels OOC the entire time.

Now for the best. Jay. Oh my beloved Jay.

Now this whole thing is semi in character for him. He's super insecure and has a huge crush on Nya, so him being a little upset at Cole and her possibly being an item makes more sense. What doesn't make sense is

-HOW NUTTER BUTTER HIS REACTIONS ARE + HOW PUSHY HE IS

Throughout the seasons this stupid ass plot occurs in, Jay's teenage boy crush on Nya reaches a level that makes me openly and violently cringe as someone who not only loves Jay, but really likes Jaya. First, there's his first reaction to finding out. It makes sense that he's a little upset, maybe hurt, at finding out that apparently Cole is Nya's perfect match, but to then violently take that out on Cole and become weirdly possessive of Nya feels like the writers took his sincere insecurities and cranked them up to crazy levels. Jay is absolutely insecure, don't get me wrong. He definitely seems to understand that he's the clown and coward of the team, and that's part of his arc in Skybound which was pretty good, actually and that's why. But his insecurities have always been portrayed as inward before this. He retreats in on himself and gets anxious, not violent. Take S1 for example, during Once Bitten, Twice Shy (I believe that's the episode) when during his date with Nya he continuously worries about screwing up and runs away to deal with it. He never takes it out on anyone else. He can be physical when he's anxious, iirc he shook someone during a freak out when the Devourer was released, but that was more him just being Extra and not being mad at that person specifically. The only other time his anxieties caused him to lose his shit like this--and caused him to be violent towards Cole over nya, coincidentally--was when Nya was literally captured by Garmadon and the Overlord in S2 after a heated battle was lost and Cole made a very poor word choice, and he stopped almost immediately when Wu intervened because he realized that it wasn't an appropriate reaction. Jay is not a violent person. He's an anxious one. Him attacking Cole over a comment he OVERHEARD from Pixal with no prior build up makes NO SENSE to me.

Additionally in future seasons he becomes weirdly possessive/obsessed w Nya. Again, he was always shown as having a borderline desperate crush on her, but he always kept his awkwardness to a minimum both around her and in private. I mean, take S1 again for example, where he wears cologne to smell good and impress her (well, it was perfume and gave her an allergic reaction, thanks guys, but regardless) as opposed to S6 where he is LITERALLY the pushiest mfer alive. Constantly not listening to her and violating her clearly stated boundaries (one of my least favorite parts of Skybound. I have a lot of feelings about that season and need to rewatch it) goes against his character again!! And yes, the argument can be made that that was because he was trying to force the fate he saw in Possession, but I still think it's OOC for him to become as pushy and creepy as he was. Again, Jay is absolutely an insecure dumbass who catastrophizes and is hopelessly crushing on this woman who is definitely out of his league. however his going so far into the creep zone long after the awkward teenage boy phase feels like the writers, again, took his flaws and just cranked them up for drama

Sorry I've harped on this for so long. It will not get better when I go in depth about how Nya was done dirty in this plot.

Generally, this was a stupid plot

Aside from being unnecessary, aside from being OOC for all involved... The love triangle is just Stupid. Let's look at the actual affects it had for the 4 seasons it occurred.

Rebooted

Jay and Cole have one serious fight and there's one serious scene where Nya has to "choose" that we don't see the outcome of and is literally never elaborated on again.

After that it's jokes.

Tournament of Elements

Cole and Jay don't wanna rejoin forces because they hate each other because of Nya. They have one serious fight in which Cole is like "she's yours" (not how that fucking works). Nya has literally no say the entire time.

Possession

Some light Nya x Cole scenes after Cole becomes a ghost. Jay sees him and Nya together in the glass. Can't remember any serious fights

Skybound

Literally the driving factor of the season.

Notice a pattern? Aside from Skybound, the love triangle serves little purpose other than being a driver for Jay and Cole conflict. Nya has little to no agency, not even being present for the conflicts in ToE. Which brings me to my final point and the driving factor behind why I wrote this whole thing to begin with

Nya was robbed.

I could again write an entire essay about how the Ninjago writers flip flop on Nya all the time, but for now I'll contain it in this essay.

One of my biggest gripes about the writing of this show is how they flip flop constantly between Nya being a character used for the boys development and being an independent character who looks after herself. The love triangle is a prime example of this.

Nya is an independent woman who listens to a random machine when she's trying to define herself apart from a relationship. Nya is a self-confident woman who doesn't get a say when the other two decide who can have her. Nya repeatedly and consistently denies Jay's advances in Skybound, only to make a dramatic turn at the end and choose him.

You see what I mean? It's infuriating. Nya is constantly given lip service as a strong woman, but when the time comes the writers will gladly toss her aside in favor of developing the men in her life. It's annoying, it's aggravating, and it's fully on display in this subplot, wherein she's given little agency and acts like a prop for the writers to use. Jay wins the girl, but why was the girl "winnable" in the first place? Why wasn't she given the space to actually have moments aside from "gasp, she's holding his hand!" to really explore her feelings on camera? Why does her life continue to be defined by her relationships with her brother, his friends, and her boyfriend?

So....

The Love Triangle fucking sucked. It sucked so bad I'm almost convinced it was worse than bringing back Garmadon. It sucked because it was pointless, with even a 9 year old able to see where it would end. It sucked because it took two seasons of characterization for three different characters and threw it out the window. It sucked because it was barely important to any development other than Jay's, and it required making him worse than he is to work. It sucked because it represents a cornerstone in a larger problem surrounding how Nya is treated in the series.

It sucked so bad I spent almost a week writing a 40 paragraph essay/rant about how much I hate it.

[baeleigh]

Female V gets completely fucked with romance options imo.

Male V gets:

Fucking Panam the queen that she is - i love panam, but i cant romance her because i shant be playing as a guy. Shes passionate, determined and gets shit done like the bad bitch she is. I will try the romance options even though i know im going to get turned down in the vein hope that one day ill have remembered to installed the lesbian Panam mod.

Kerry - im quite fond of Kerry, hes flawed as hell but thats an interesting aspect to his character, hes fun, links to Silverhand and his questline is fun.

Fem V gets:

Judy - all things considered, i like Judy. I sure as shit wouldnt ride or die like Cass from fallout nv or Garrus from mass effect but i dont dislike her. But thats my problem, shes just ok. Her quest is fine but after playing it once you know the clouds aspect is all going to be for nothing in the end. The scuba quest is cute but not enough for me to love her.

River - River is a lame wet blanket. Im a lesbian so im not the right person to comment on a mans attractiveness BUT everything about river is a turn off, both physicality and personality. His quest is intriguing and creepy as shit and is a good addition to the side quest roster. That being said however all the stuff with his family is just awkward. I get that cdpr tried to make him feel enduring and a fun family oriented guy but it's so uncomfy; between the kids asking if you're his girlfriend and the 'raise your hand if river and v are a cute couple' bit, it just makes me wish ozob bozo was there so i could pull the pin and explode in confetti to escape.

As i said, im gay af so it takes a lot for me to go 'yeah id romance that male character'. Garrus Vakarian is so far the only male character that i would say 'that man is my husband'. River feels like if you took whatever made me love Garrus, ignored all that and did the opposite.

I was hoping that Phantom liberty would add more romance options but from what ive seen online, it does not (havent bought the dlc yet im broke af).

Tldr: male v romance options great, fem v not so much; Judys ok, river is eww. Ill just sleep with Meredith and try to forget about romance.

[autistic-crypt1d]

The X-Files Live Blogging:

Season 8

God damn that was one hell of a cliffhanger!!!

Seasons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 1998 movie, 6, 7

Updates:

- Within

- how TF is she pregnant?? Did her and Mulder sleep together and we just didn't see???? WHO IS THE FATHER

- of course it's Kersh

- nooo what happened to her big round glasses they were so cute!!

- huh????

- this shit suuuucks

- poor Skinner and Scully :(

- ah yes, this should go well (this is going to go terribly)

- WHAT????!?!?

- gotta love Skinner for taking up the role of impulsive action guy acting on little to no evidence while Mulder is gone

- that ain't Mulder

- Without

- THAT AIN'T MULDER MY GUY

- Skinner and Scully are slowly but surely bringing this guy into the truth

- YEAH HOW YA GONNA EXPLAIN THAT AWAY HM???

- seeing Mulder like that is so heartbreaking

- "I cant risk never seeing him again" AHHHH MY HEARTTTT

- SHE WAS RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THERE!!!!! YOU'VE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME

- HE'S FINALLY DEAD?!?!?! OMFG

- owie

- oh???

- damn there's more! Guess they all look like that

- Patience

- UHHHH WHO TF TOOK MULDER OUTTA THE INTRO CREDITS???? SCULLY DIDN'T GET TAKEN OUT WHEN SHE GOT ABDUCTED??? WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNN

- I'm sorry but the way that dude says "leave me alone" is so funny

- I'm sorry you two but, OF COURSE IT HUNTS AT NIGHT

- :(

- Roadrunners

- what the fuck?!?!?!

- I'm so uncomfy

- GIRL YOU ARE NOT STAYING THERE

- SCULLYYYYYY

- what the fuck is thaaaaaaaat

- AH HELL

- WTFWTFWTFWTF

- COME ON

- oh thank god he's not an idiot

- AHHHHH FUCK THIS INTENSE

- ok I like Doggett, I miss Mulder but Doggett is solid af

- also Scully is such a fucking badass

- Invocation

- my notes got deleted againnnnnn

- something something kid creeps me out, so does that dude sleeping with that murdering dude's mom

- Josh do nottttttt

- god damn it Josh

- GET THAT SON OF A BITCH DOGGETT

- Redrum

- that title does not bode well

- Henry??? From Eureka???

- another time loop episode??

- huh??

- ok I'm confused

- so every night he goes back a day?

- the prison guy is fucking ANNOYING

- this is so sad :(

- this is such a cool episode

- please tell me he saves herrrrr

- oh god oh god oh god

- OH GOD IS HE GONNA KILL HER

- OH THANK GOD

- oh no, please no this is so sad stop

- LET'S GO DOGGETT!!!!!!

- Via Negativa

- YEESH

- I wanna know what's up with Scullyyyyy

- AY YO SKINNER PULLING OUT THE X-FILES ANSWER???

- wtf

- oh shit he's killing people in their dreams!!

- I love The Lone Gunman

- he's gonna see Dana here isn't he

- oh no :(

- I hate Kersh

- uh oh

- he's in a nightmare isn't he

- YUP

- or the thing got transferred to him??

- no I was right the first time, nightmare

- spooky

- Surekill

- that's the worst blood I've ever seen

- this is so depressing, god the way he's looking at her??? Poor girl

- both of these brothers are so fucking creepyyyyyy

- I recognize the Randall dude from somewhere

- Salvage

- WOAH

- YEESH

- "I didn't do anything to him!" Yeah, sure tou didn't. He just ended up like that all by himself

- :(

- owie :(

- Badlaa

- notes got deleted again!

- creepy af

- ah geez wtf are these kids doing

- please don't hurt him :(

- owie :(

- The Gift

- ???

- Mulder?????

- Mulder is back in the intro!!!!

- what the fuck is happening

- WHAT THE FUCK

- gross!!

- Agent Dogbird XD

- oh????

- NWJDOSJSJSJ EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?!

- please tell me the soul eater is gonna save him

- HELL YEAH

- oh is it dead now :( I mean it's good because it's not suffering anymore but also really sad :(

- Medusa

- yuck!

- pretty interesting episode honestly

- I recognize this biologist woman I think

- ah shit

- I don't understand how zapping the puddle cured them

- Per Manum

- Kawalski?? Again???

- wtf

- are we finally gonna get more Scully pregnancy info??

- Scully cannot catch a break 😭

- ooooooh she asked him to donate

- this makes his disappearance so much more heartbreaking 😭

- John Casey!!!

- please be a good guy please be a good guy please be a good guy

- fuck

- This is Not Happening

- oh hey it's the kid from the episode where Mudler got taken

- oh??

- OH????

- 😭

- uh oh

- why would he dump her there just to take her again?

- ah healing alien man

- MULDER!!!!!

- YOU CANNOT CLIFFHANGER ME LIKE THIS

- Deadalive

- ow 😭

- I really love Doggett sometimes y'all

- oop dead boddy

- bruh if he comes back to life like this Scully is gonna lose ittt

- AHHHHH HE'S ALIVE!!!

- ow 😭

- god I hate Kersh

- Krycek is doing that isn't he

- YUP

- I do not like what's happening rn Billy

- broooooooooo

- GET HIM DOGGETT!!!

- yay!!!

- my hearttttttt

- aw Doggett :(

- Three Words

- are the three words "I love you"???? PLEASE?!?!?!

- why tf did he shoot himself??

- OH FUCK

- poor Skinner, stuck in the middle

- awww

- bruh

- ooooo he said the titleeeee

- ah the words are fight the future

- I hope Doggett doesn't die or leave and we get a trio

- oh shit he got replaced

- Empedocles

- what the fuuuuuck

- bro has resting sad face

- what is Reyes's dealllll

- the way she smiles at himmmm

- pfffft

- she seems autistic and I really like her

- ahhhh so the entity that took over the guy in the building came out of the dude who killed Doggett's son

- they're so painfully adorable

- Vienen

- they did the Goa'uld eye glow XD

- ok a little glowier lol

- reluctant friendship forming, I love it

- it's ok Mulder you can be a stay-at-home dad

- Alone

- oh wtf

- that was so wholesome 😭

- we better get a bunch of Scully and Mulder still, not just Doggett and new girl

- they're so domestic AHHHHH

- Essence

- of course she's suspicious, of course!!

- isn't that the very slowly aging woman from Eureka?

- she is!!

- oop, alien Billy is back and murdering

- I'm scared of what these pills are gonna do to her

- I love the reluctant Mulder & Doggett duo

- omfg ok she finally caught her

- PFFFFT

- KRYCEK?!?!?!?!?!

- y'all I was entirely expecting that to be Skinner

- HER FACE WHEN THEU HANDED HER OFF TO KRYCEK PFFFFFT XD

- GET HIM GUYS!!!!

- damn that was smooth as shit

- FUCK

- Existence

- oh what the fuck

- I'm sorry but the way Skinner yelled "KRYCEK!" after he realized what was happening is so funny

- awww she cleaned up the house for her!!!

- unrelated, but I hc Reyes as a lesbian, she just gives me gay vibes, I love her more and more all the time

- who tf was running into that other house if that woman was in her car

- omg wait is she actually gay???

- the fuckin scary/dramatic music everytime she looks at that star is stressing me out

- FUCK

- HELL YEAH RANGER WOMAN

- that's not gonna stop him but HELL YEAH

- girl you saw him get trash compacted wdym you believe he's dead now

- I'M SO STRESSED OUT RIGHT NOW

- why do I feel like Krycek isn't really dead, am I just losing it cuz if this shows way of killing people and then they're not really dead?

- FUCK

- KILL HER REYES

- I'M SO STRESSED OUT

- THIS IS SO FUCKING INTENSE

- awww the lone gunman visited her 😭

- THE LEFT THE BABY WITH HER???? WHY???? AFTER ALL THAT?!?!?!?!

- SHE NAMED HIM AFTER HIS FATHER 😭

- I'm sorry but that was the most awkward kiss ever, whyyyyyy

Season 9

[shnowbilicat]

Old Scars Heal Slowly

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Healing from wounds takes a long time, especially once that you cannot see. Sadly I'm someone who carries many scars and many times they like to open up again.

Alright I'll drop the vagueness, I hate calling what I've went through 'traumatic experiences' but I also can't deny that many things in my life have been really messed up and that they left panaoid thoughts that ... sometimes are right.

You're free to read the whole vent below, but I'll summarize it here if you're still interested but too lazy to read through paragraphs or le tragic backstory~

It's funny that I have another character that was very well liked, but pretty much used as an object for someone else to injet their fanatasies into, and when I mentioned how uncomfortable it was for me, people lashed out. I don't know why strangers on the internet think it's totally cool to take someone else's character and jerk off to them. Maybe they're all kids who don't know any better? But that does not excuse that they're legit hurting the original artist ... me. I was hurt. I got paranoid to the gills, have a fcked up relationship with intamacy and am super defensive when it comes to other people wanitng to do something to/with my characters. Consent is still a very new concept I have the feeling ... and I'm so tired of fighting over other people about what I can or cannot do with MY characters ... *le sigh :'33

Okay, so now for a more indepth vent, yay!!

Kokuri started out as a Sonic creepypasta. I liked the concept of a powerful, stalking, creepy Sonic character, so I made him into an OC! His power made him into a god, his creepiness gave him a cool creepy horror form and his stalking ... yeah I made him into a perv and I loved him to bits X'D

I never had a perverted character and since I was a teen I could kinda explore my sexuality and stuff with him in a fun way- wait why are my followers really into him??

Yeah for some reason Kokuri was REALLY popular, so much so that many of my friends and followers started shipping him with their characters?? Luckily my friends understood that I was uncomfy, but some were not so nice. I remember getting a note where someone told me they 'omni-shipped' Kokuri and while I admit I was an emotional teen that had english as their second language, I still was uncomfy and tried to tell them to please not. Later a friend of theirs argued with me that I cannot control others, especially when I become big ... I hope yall know that it does not matter how big someone gets, people shouldn't just ... deny the original creator their wishes for THEIR OWN CHARACTERS. I know I cano't control them, but they can at least be nice enough to respect my wishes mmmmrgh.

Another example was that I had a back then recent friendship tarnished when the person drew their self insert with Kokuri and I told them nicely that Kokuri had a boyfriend ... and they started to be very upset and rude towards me. Or, ya know, that one time a very clingy, RP-happy 'friend' who was always venting to me about their mental health and family and always wanted Kokuri to be their self insert's boyfriend- wait I feel a deja-vu. But there's more! Bby me tried and tried to talk it out how much they tired me out, even RPing it out with Kokuri telling them off, but nothing worked. So, public journal canceling our friendship- ah shit they made a counter journal pretending to be their sister and how I made them attepting to end game. Yaayyyy~ Yall can imagine how it fucking traumatized little ol me :'333

SO! After I kinda drifted off from Sonic to FNAF it was peacefuly quiet, but I had a hard rule that my characters are not allowed to be shipped without my consent after all that bs.

Fast forward to 2023, I get a chat message on DA and someone was really interested with my FNAF boiz. I was ecstatic and rambled about my squad, since it's really rare to get new people on board on loving my bbys. Soon we pivoted over to Discord and ... they mentioned how they liked Rick n Keith, like REALLY really liked them. So far as to call them 'boyfriend material' and how they wished Rick actually existed and how he would be the perfect boyfriend cuz they wouldn't judge them. And I was like 'plz dun take this too seriously okay?? :'3' cuz I was uncomfy with them drooling over my boiz, but also not wanting to take away their joy. Cuz surprise surprise, they also had a bad life. I didn't wanna take away that potentially could help them cope with it all, but also, ya know, don't be creepy.

Aaaaand they asked me for a romance RP with Rick and their FNAF character. I declined, cuz remance RPs are uncomfy, no shit, but they continued being weird, always wanting my attention and being weirdly talkative about how X character was hot or smth, wanitng me to get into the stuff they like, being dismissive about things I liked, being very non-chalant on visiting them IRL (we barely knew each other for half a year too), not taking a no for an answer, etc etc etc

One of my biggest mistakes was giving into the romance RP some time later. The person managed to talk me into merging two of my AUs, FNOK my NSFW AU and my base FNAF AU. I dleted any murder from FNOK cuz I didn't like the implications of murder and naughties ... but now it was back in it! :D

Also remember their OC? Yeah, they didn't even have a design or name up until now- ah wait they are oddly similar to my RP partner and also they share a name? A fucking self insert?? Yeah, yeah it was a self insert and I'm 1000% sure about it. Also they wanted to have at least 5 sentence replies, without dialogue. Broskies, I was so mentally exhausted by it all ya don't even know.

Worst part? They also pivoted to having the hots for SpringTrap, asing how much animal to animatronic they are, how *ahem* rough SpringTrap would be in bed. You can imagine how little old me was very creeped and weirded out. Nothing against kinkiness, but if ya wanna get violated by a big ass rabbit monster, don't do it here thxx

Or some minor things were that the person was sharing their ideas for some FAR future plots or ideas for the RP. Like when Rick and their OC would live together ... bro, they just met in RP, chill your balls plzzz qWq

All came to a head when I got a very uncomfy nightmare and confronted them to all my issues ... aaaand they lashed out BIG TIME. To keep the next scene short, we had a falling out, I tried desperately to talk things out, but they refused, even though they previously told me to be direct with them, even before my confrontation. I remember very well that they demanded that I NEVER bring drama with them or tell anybody about our arguement.

Over time I realized I was fighting a battle I cannot win. One last time, being so calm I scared myself, but no, they called me a a parasite (for demanding space? That's the opposite of what a parasote wants bruh) and I blockd them everywhere.

Freedom at last ... but at what cost?

I got new scars, because of someone who couldn't understand limits or keep their bloody hands of other's characters just to satisfy themselves.

I just recently saw the parallels with Rick and Kokuri and it really makes me upset to see that I let someone just ... use them and me like that.

And you got not idea how much my paranoia expanded. Hell, drawing love or intimacy are even worse now, I'm so scared to have people yell at me again or be happy about the things I draw ...

So yeah, that's why I was posting some deeper stuff here and there :'3

I gotta say, it's nice to draw my pervy hedgy comforting best shadow boi. I really wanna draw Kokuri with my sqaud more, they'd be so fun <33

Anyway, thank you for reading and also being there for me. While I still struggle immensly with drawing stuff, I'll try my best to get over my fears ... just pray for me to not get another creep wanting to jerk off to my characters X'D