#should i tag that stupid name jack called the smiley guy by?

[crmsndragonwngss]

People Watching (2024) by 156/Silence SharpTone Records

Full res scans (300dpi)

[hmspogue]

Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown

A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting

These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.

note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.

“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”

(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.

“'Trust me’, he said...”

Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).

JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.

“You can always go...”

JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).

Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).

“Lower”

Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).

I’m just-

These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?

Their calves....

“RUN!”

Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.

Fuck you.

“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”

For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.

If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.

oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-

“Half a billion.”

HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?

Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.

Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.

“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”

So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that. 

Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.

I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

Oh, sweetie....

“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”

The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.

GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-

nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

“Hold on!”

The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me. 

Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.

I just wanna know-

what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.

Rest in piss, bozo <3

“Ward’s still out there...”

Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.

“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”

It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-

Jail break anyone?

I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?

This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.

Why my eyes wet?

Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.

“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”

Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.

I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.

Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-

“...you haven’t been paying attention.”

My guy, who are you clarifying this for?

It’s what you deserve for monologuing.

in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.

“SARAH!”

It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.

What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?

“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”

The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-

“I can’t drive stick.”

PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).

One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused. 

I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.

“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”

LIMBRY-

Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions? 

Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.

Sir, that is my son please unhand him.

“I think you know what I want.”

.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?

The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.

Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.

“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”

DAMN STRAIGHT.

Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.

“We gotta find it first.”

I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.

Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-

I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?

Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-

“Woogity-woogity?”

“Give me some woogity, baby!”

Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.

I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.

Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.

They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.

50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.

I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-

Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.

“This is a map of the whole island.”

This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.

The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.

Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.

Kiara, your Madison is showing.

Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.

You’re welcome.

I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.

John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught. 

“John B is back-”

Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?

“-it’s him or me.”

First of all, no.

Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you. 

This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.

Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.

I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike. 

The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-

For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong. 

If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.

I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.

Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.

Hey, um, what? 

Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.

Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?

So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.

JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-

Cleo 🥵

I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.

Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.

Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting. 

Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏 

Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time. 

I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah. 

Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.

John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.

So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident). 

And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-

Girl CATCH HIM?????

Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.

I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA

Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft. 

In my opinion, this is either:

A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR

B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug. 

I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first. 

Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.

(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.  

(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?

Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.

“I get it. You guys are scared.”

“No.”

She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.

“It’s kind of cute.”

“I’m not scared.”

“You should’ve just led with that.”

I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department

I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-

They do be kinda cute.

It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me. 

Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.

Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.

[wrestlingisfake]

Double or Nothing preview

Kenny Omega vs. Chris Jericho - The winner of this match will face the winner of the Casino Battle Royale at a later date to determine the first AEW world champion.  Interestingly, Jericho is scheduled to challenge for the IWGP heavyweight championship on June 9, and this match may indirectly affect that one.

This is a rematch from Wrestle Kingdom 12, where Jericho began his sudden shift from “I’ll never wrestle anywhere besides WWE” to “I can be the Brock Lesnar of New Japan.”  Neither man has had a match since Wrestle Kingdom 13 earlier this year, where Omega lost the IWGP heavyweight title in the main event, and Jericho lost the IWGP intercontinental title in the semi-main. 

Jericho’s character outside of WWE has been a leathery weirdo brawler, whose services are highly valued by promoters even though he’s totally uncontrollable.  He’s randomly ambushed several top names in New Japan, and he seems to be gunning for Cody Rhodes down the line, but his recurring nemesis is Omega.  The general idea is that Omega entered the “greatest of all time” conversation with his six-star performances in 2017, and that puts a target on him for legends like Jericho that want to make a statement.  Omega defeated Jericho at Wrestle Kingdom 12, then Jericho shockingly attacked him at All In, then Omega’s team defeated Jericho’s team during Jericho’s wrestling cruise, and then Jericho attacked Omega again at AEW’s February 7 media event.

This is basically the biggest match AEW can present at this point.  It’s a rematch from the Tokyo Dome, featuring the biggest current star who’s never been to WWE and the biggest ex-WWE star they could sign.  In some ways it’s a coup they could put this together in a US show, but in other ways I’m disappointed that AEW couldn’t come up with something hotter.  18 months after his first NJPW vignette, the challenge for AEW is to prove Jericho still has mileage as a 48-year-old resident legend, and not just as an occasional special attraction.  Luckily, Jericho is keenly aware of this stuff and pretty good at finding ways to keep himself over, so hopefully this match will set up a good direction for him.

I tend to think Omega should win here, but Jericho is coming in with a pretty shitty win-loss record, considering he’s been set up as the top heel in the company.  A win for Jericho would add momentum to the angle that he thinks he’s singlehandedly put AEW on the map, and set up more matches down the line.  Then again, Omega is the actual ace of the promotion, and needs to be protected as such.  So I’m expecting a creative finish, but I don’t know which guy will win.

Nick Jackson & Matt Jackson vs. Penta El 0M & Rey Fenix - The Young Bucks (Nick and Matt) are defending the AAA tag team championship.  This feud started with the Lucha Bros. showing up at an AEW press conference, taking exception to the Bucks calling themselves the greatest tag team.  This led to the Bucks flying all over the place to ambush the Lucha Bros. at various indie shows.  Finally, when the Lucha Bros. won the AAA tag title at Rey de Reyes, the Bucks suddenly showed up for an impromptu title match and won the belts.

It’s worth noting that a rematch for the title has already been booked for AAA’s Verano de Escándalo on June 16.  So the outcome of this match won’t have much impact on which team ends up with the belts in the long run.  With that in mind, the logical outcome is for the Bucks to win to establish them as the benchmark for the strong tag team division they’ve been promising.  Penta and Fenix aren’t enhancement talent by any means, though, so I could see them scoring a win on the Bucks’ turf.  But until the Lucha Bros. put a ring on it and sign with AEW, it would be risky to put them over.  I’m leaning towards the Bucks retaining.

Cody Rhodes vs. Dustin Rhodes - Dustin, 50, is the son of wrestling legend Dusty Rhodes and his first wife, Sandra; Cody, 33, is Dusty’s son by his second wife, Michelle.  This is virtually a direct follow-up to their match at WWE Fast Lane 2015 (as Stardust and Goldust), which had been the closest they’d come to their dream of doing the match at a Wrestlemania.  A year later, Cody left WWE to begin a meteoric rise in the non-WWE scene, leading to his leadership role in AEW.  Once it became clear Dustin was leaving WWE, it was obvious he would end up here.

Dustin delivered a strong video package about needing to prove he’s still got it, and wanting to settle old scores with Cody.  Cody cut an intense promo likening Dustin and his era with Old Yeller, suggesting he has to put Dustin down because he loves him.  You can debate the wisdom of indulging in this storyline at a pivotal point in AEW’s beginnings, but you cannot argue that both men as fully committed to proving it can work.  Hopefully that results in some killer storytelling and a good match.  I have to think Cody wins here, and the brothers hug and Dustin ends up with a backstage job or something.

PAC vs. Hangman Page - ...already happened, so I guess you can watch that here.  The match on this card had to be cancelled.  The angle is that Page was so hype to fight Pac that he went to an indie show in England to do the match a week early.  Pac intentionally got disqualified and then pillmanized Page’s knee; he claimed he only wanted the Double or Nothing match to injure Page, but since he’d already succeeded with that he wouldn’t be coming to this show.  I suspect this match was intended to determine a participant in the match to crown the first AEW world champion, since Page has been talking about wanting that spot for months. 

As of this writing, AEW hasn’t announced what Page will be doing on this show, or even if he’s kayfabe recovered enough from the knee attack to have a match  This could be trouble, because it leaves fans to imagine all sorts of crazy surprise opponents that the company may not be able to deliver.  Already people have been actively speculating about CM Punk (the Dave Chappelle of wrestling), Jon Moxley (formerly WWE’s Dean Ambrose), and Joey Ryan (who had a farcical feud with Page last year).  How AEW handles this mess will leave a lasting first impression with fans, particularly fans like me who’ve seen all the stupid things WWE would do in this situation.

Britt Baker vs. Nyla Rose vs. Kylie Rae - This is a three-way match, so the first woman to score a fall over either opponent will be declared the winner.  Baker is probably best known as the wrestling dentist from the four-way match at All In last year.  Rose made headlines as the first trans woman signed to a major wrestling company, and I’ve just learned she starred in a Canadian sitcom a few years ago, playing a computer programmer, which is an interesting contrast from her “Native Beast” wrestling persona.  Rae is relatively less known, but she’s a smiley happy character in the vein of Bayley, and she’s from Chicago so I know who I’m rooting for.

Unfortunately I think the big story in this match is whether the live audience will accept Nyla, or if a bunch of jerks try to start transphobic chants or something.  I think the hardcore AEW audience is cool about it, but there’s just no way to know until she goes through the curtain.

Of these three, Baker seems to be the one they’re pushing as the face of the division, which may make her the favorite.  But the fact it’s a three-way with nothing tangible at stake makes this one hard to call.

Christopher Daniels & Scorpio Sky & Frankie Kazarian vs. CIMA & T-Hawk & El Lindaman - Daniels’s team is SoCal Uncensored, which has become something of an underground sensation via their sing-along catchphrases and Being the Elite skits.  Cima’s team represents a faction called Strong Hearts, consisting of the wrestlers who joined him in leaving Dragon Gate to found Oriental Wrestling Entertainment in Shanghai. 

OWE is one of several attempts to expand the wrestling industry into the lucrative Chinese market--AEW is clearly partnering with them to cultivate Chinese talent and a Chinese audience.  Note, however, that Cima, T-Hawk, and Lindaman are Japanese, not Chinese; the Chinese wrestlers they’ve been training will presumably appear in the future.  This match seems to be less about China than about getting OWE over with the AEW audience, and acknowledging the influence Cima has had in the careers of wrestlers like Daniels and the Young Bucks.

If you weren’t paying attention to ROH last year, you might be surprised how hot SCU has become with the kind of fans that’ll be at this show.  When I went to All In I was prepared for the sea of Bullet Club shirts and constant Elite chants, but the response to anything SCU did was far more intense.  They really should win here, although there may be a plan to use them to establish the Strong Hearts as a force to be reckoned with.  It’ll really depend on how often Cima and the OWE guys are planning on flying out to do these shows.

Aja Kong & Yuka Sakazaki & Emi Sakura vs. Hikaru Shida & Riho & Ryo Mizunami - Kong is legendary monster heel, whose career goes back over 30 years.  As for the others, I don’t have much info on them.  My impression is that this match is designed to help introduce joshi (Japanese women’s wrestling) to the west, which would suggest the younger participants in this match (Sakazaki, Shida, Riho, and Mizunami) will be groomed for long-term roles in the company.  From what I’ve heard, Kenny Omega wants AEW to spotlight Japanese women as a unique attraction, similar to how WCW used cruiserweights and luchadors back in the day.  It’s a clever move, since the other US promotions have male Japanese stars, but joshi is still rather obscure in the west.  On Being the Elite they’ve played up Kenny Omega’s history with Riho, so I guess I have to pick her team to win.

Chuck Taylor & Trent Beretta vs. Jack Evans & Angelico - Chuck and Trent are the Best Friends, who were on the verge of breaking up when we last saw them in New Japan.  Evans is one of the original big names from the super-indy days in the early 2000s.  Angelico has been teaming with Evans in AAA, Lucha Underground, PWG, and elsewhere.  The Young Bucks have talked a big game about making the tag team division more important in AEW than in other promotions, but matches like this one will determine if they’re really serious about any tag teams but themselves.  I can’t decide which team should win, but I’ve got a soft spot for the Best Friends so I’m rooting for ‘em.

Casino Battle Royale - This is a 21-person gauntlet battle royal match, scheduled for the pre-show, where the winner will qualify to for a future match to determine the first AEW world champion.  Typically this kind of match starts with two participants in the ring, and each additional participant enters every 90 seconds or so.  The twist here is that five participants will start, and every three minutes another five enter the match.  The final entrant, being “lucky 21,” gets to enter alone, meaning only one person will have that “freshest person in the match” advantage.

The rules for elimination have not been specified, so I assume it’ll be the standard rules for most battle royales.  After entering the match, a participant will be eliminated if they exit the ring over the top rope and both of their feet touch the floor.  Participants can avoid elimination by stalling their entry into the ring, or by exiting the ring under the top rope, or by going over the top and keeping one foot off the floor until they can re-enter.  Eliminations can occur at any point in the match, before and after the last participant has entered.  The last person left in the match after everyone else has been eliminated is declared the winner.

Confirmed entrants for the match include:

Ace Romero (the big fat dude from MLW)

Billy Gunn (he’s an ass man, womp womp)

Brandon Cutler (the Young Bucks’ old buddy from PWG)

Brian Pillman, Jr. (the son of the “loose cannon” from WCW/WWF)

Dustin Thomas (a guy with no legs who impressed everyone at Joey Janela’s Spring Break recently)

Glacier (the Mortal Kombat guy from WCW...yes, that Glacier)

Isiah Kassidy (one half of the tag team Private Party)

Jimmy Havoc (an edgelord from the British indie scene)

Joey Janela (sleazy guy from GCW that does the Spring Break shows)

Jungle Boy (Luke Perry’s son doing a Tarzan gimmick) 

Luchasaurus (a guy who seems to be neither a luchador nor a dinosaur)

Marq Quen (the other half of Private Party)

Michael Nakazawa (Kenny Omega’s old buddy from DDT)

MJF (obnoxious preppie douchebag from MLW)

Shawn Spears (WWE’s Tye Dillinger/Cody’s old buddy from OVW)

Sonny Kiss (formerly XO Lishus in Lucha Underground)

Sunny Daze (scary weird guy that makes Bray Wyatt look like Mr. Rogers...okay, I’ll admit that’s not a very helpful comparison right now, but you get the drift)

???

???

???

???

That leaves four spots remaining as of this writing.  Knowing AEW, those spots could go to some of the guys who are signed but not booked (like Darby Allin or Peter Avalon) or to total unknowns, or to giant surprise stars.  It is entirely possible some women could be added to the match.

Obviously that “lucky 21” spot is perfectly suited for a big surprise entrant to shockingly debut, run wild, and win the whole thing.  However, since this match is for the pre-show, I don’t see them blowing their wad on a really big surprise.  On the other hand, the winner of this match has to be a credible contender for their world championship, so they can’t just give it to Joey Ryan or whoever.  This is where you really start wondering if Jon Moxley is available.

Sammy Guevera vs. Kip Sabian - The opening match, to air on the pre-show.  Guevera is a former AAA crusierweight champion.  Sabian has held the IPW:UK championship, and based on the limited data I can find for that title, he may well still be the champion.  Considering how much of this card consists of wrestlers I literally never heard of until they were booked for this show, it says something that these two are so obscure they’re in the opener.  But that’s to be expected when starting a promotion from scratch.  Hopefully they both give us a reason to care who they are.