#it's rotten all the way down
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Hello! I'm someone who really enjoys makeup, but has recently in the past few years begun to view makeup and the makeup industry more broadly as something that is really detrimental to women. You seem to be in somewhat of the same position, and I admire your thoughts, so I was curious how you reconcile those positions or if you feel the need to reconcile them at all? Please ignore this ask if it's intrusive or weird lol
You can't reconcile them. You really can't. The beauty industry exists to churn out propaganda, inventing flaws and offering us fixes for a price, before moving on to the new (usually opposite, so you don't already have the tools) trend.
I'm in my thirties, I've seen the beauty industry turn into a nightmarish hydra that I never could have imagined as a teenager. The speed with which people create and zero in on new physical nitpicks, the ubiquity of filters and plastic surgery, that skincare (literally unless you have a specific ailment, a soft cleanser and nothing else will do you just fine) has become a lunatic self-flagellation in the name of some kind of nebulous Purity, just the endless chasing and chasing and chasing of that new thing that new miracle bottle, whatever will finally make you less disgusting for living in a human body. It's rancid. But it’s always been like this. Just slower.
And it's important to be intellectually honest about all this. The reason we think we look better with our lips a certain color, or our skin being a certain texture is because beauty culture has spent hundreds of years and trillions of dollars rotting our brains. None of this is real. You know that you find the people you love the most attractive when they're comfortable and bare faced and being themselves. Contour would change literally nothing about your feelings in that moment.
I enjoy makeup. I like gold eyeliner and deep berry lipsticks and a stain of blush. Why? Because I also have brain rot, and think I look Better with it on. You can't dismantle the entire wretched apparatus on your own, but you can be clear with yourself about why you believe what you believe. As my wife pointed out when I talked to her about this ask, even saying "I just like to decorate my face" doesn't hold water. You don't know what you natively like to do with your face, when it comes to beauty. You've spent your whole life marinating in propaganda. It gets into everything.
Due to my Ancient Years, I am no longer expected to be Young And Hot, which means I don't put on makeup on to run errands, and I don't feel like a full face is necessary to see friends or get dinner on a weeknight. I've started trying to treat makeup like I'd treat a pair of high heels: sometimes it's nice to feel dressed up, and in some environments heels are part of the dress code. Sometimes you wear heels to show your partner that you put in extra effort for them, or to make sure someone knows you took an occasion seriously.
Tellingly, heels also exist to fix a "failure" in your appearance.
It's like finding smoking sexy. Smoking kills you, unambiguously. And yet....it's hard not to feel like you'd be cooler if you had a cigarette in your hand. No one is immune to the manipulations of propaganda. But it is propaganda, plain and simple, and we shouldn't twist ourselves in knots to defend the lies it tells us, or try to make them ~praxis~. Beauty culture is exactly the same.
#yikes scoob!#it's rotten all the way down#(speaking of heels nothing makes me roll my eyes more than watching a movie where A Woman In Heels Does The Thing Like The Men)#(like oo wow she managed to be useful without losing her desirability!! yas queen)#and I wear heels!#I own many lipsticks!#I am not better than you#but you HAVE to be honest#you can't pretend there's a tension between good makeup (for me!) and bad beauty culture (for Others)#it's all for others#and surprise others is capitalism and the politics of desirability#makeup games#(lol I made that tag back when I was pretending at the aforementioned tension)
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Something about older Jason looking at the child version of himself, the innocent victim, and feeling the need to defend and avenge him the way no one else will. They'll call him reckless and try to pin the blame for his death on some unique failure of his personality, the problem isn't Robin the problem is he was just a bad fit for Robin! And then older Jason coming back to life and spits on their twisted grief. Fuck you, that innocent child deserved more. You took his memory and ruined it to make yourselves feel better. If no one will give him justice then Jason will take it himself no matter who he has to kill to get there. It's the only way he can move forward.
Something about older Cass looking at this child version of herself, this innocent who has no idea what she was doing when she was tricked into killing, and finding her irredeemable. She will forgive everyone for everything if they need a second chance but she cannot forgive that innocent child. She spends ten years wanting that child to die for their sin, a standard she holds no one else to. And in the end she does have to die. She can never forgive that child until the price has been paid and the guilty, tormented, suicidal mess of a girl is dead and never coming back. Only then can Cass live on. Only then can she smile without feeling the weight of her kill on her back. If no one will give that child the justice they deserve then she will have to do it herself. It's the only way she can move forward.
#dc#cassandra cain#dc rambles#Jason Todd#They're so messed up in such fun inverted ways#Everyone's always like oh what would Robin Jason think of red hood but I think what red hood thinks of Robin#Is equally as important#Likewise baby cass would most likely feel relief that someday she escapes the all consuming self hatred#And older Cass would feel... A lot. Regret she spent so long hating this child. Grief for what she was tricked into doing.#But I don't think she's ever fully going to get rid of all that cold hatred. That emotion that let's her look at her 8 year old self#And sentence them to death. Only them. No one else. Because people are good deep down but this child is rotten.#She's so mentally ill and relatable <3#It's not even recognisable hatred because it's so clinical and all consuming. She doesn't hate herself she just believes she deserves to di#What do you mean that's a sign of self hatred Barbara don't be silly she's perfectly fine.
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oh i see the hotd fandom has quickly reached the levels of racism in the asoiaf fandom concerning non-white/non-valyrian characters; how majority fandom ships a problematic white couple at the expense of the poc around them and how it’s detrimental to the narrative. ah yes, i am familiar with your game…unfortunately
#i mean…why are you all acting surprised lol#it’s the same way RLs fans act as though Elia and her children are an inconvenience to that shit catastrophic sham of a relationship#and how daemyra fans act as though Laena and Nettles are unworthy and don’t expose the true rotten underbelly (especially in nettles’ case)#of Valyrian supremacy and that Rhaenyra was a raging racist against a girl who may have be groomed by her husband when they had an open#marriage and he was already fucking his white worm mistress on Dragonstone while Rhaenyra slept a few doors down#so i mean…what are we arguing about here? fandom#is going to be racist and shit heads#that’s just what they and are and show writers are always going to play up the white ships because it’s easier than have to truly analyze#characters and their motives/desires and how their actions have consequences that directly hurt them and the people around them#but I digress - you get into enough fandoms and you realize racism both in fandom and fiction just mirrors reality and you pick your battles#anti hotd#anti hotd fandom#anti daemyra#anti rhaenyra targaryen#anti daemon targaryen#anti rhaenyra stans#anti got fandom#fandom critical#fandom criticism#fandom critique#asoiaf
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some of my durges heehee some of my tavs: [part 1] [part 2]
#HIII dont read the tags if you dislike talks of extreme violence OR murder OR torture OR cannibalism OR just general bhaalist activities lol#if u do read the tags though llol hiiiii sorry for the ramble but erm. enjoy ig#something ive done with all my durge playthroughs is have orin take a trophy from each of their bodies in some way.#in this case; casimir's horns and carrion's right eye#she took casimir's horns and capped them in gold as a slight#before da lobotomy cas said the way shed kill herself after murdering the world was to forge herself a crown of gold from her own horns#cas wanted to be king of the murdered world in the name of her father. therefore crown. yeag#“crown” as in she would pour molten gold over her horns and let it drip down and boil her alive before she joined murder dad in death#so thats exactly what orin took from her#she made her horns into a golden crown then took it from her by cutting them off#in my head orin made the crown of horns wearable and would wear it during their duel#carrion's trophy situation is different from casimir's#carrion's name pre-orin lobotomy is still unknown to her#carrion was just the first thing she remembered when she woke back up after everything#all because orin called her that while torturing her#orin picked at her body like it was carrion and she was a vulture. she plucked out her eye and cut her open and ate her flesh and innards.#and when carrion finally remembered this she decided to keep the name and wear it with pride#as she would the the world's final piece of carrion#made to be the final rotten meal for her father to supp on after the world dies by her hand#she would be the carcass that houses the world. a true gift of flesh and murder only for her father#ALSO orin kept carrion's eye in a jar on her desk to look at fondly while doing her creative writing or whatever idk.#after carrion killed orin and found her eye she ate it lmfao#ok that’s all bye :3#my art#my durges#bg3#bg3 art#artists on tumblr#baldurs gate 3#dark urge
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It's crazy how the incest stuff negates any support system Cathy has. like technically she has someone offering her an out from her abusive husband but choosing that also means choosing this other terrible thing. like. she's trying to get as far away from the past abuse as she can (while still holding onto so much anger) but she's escaping into new abuse (connected to holding onto anger???) and trusting. deciding. believing that it will aid her in achieving her goals, and then she can go from there. this belief of indestructibility bc what does she have if not that??? how could she stand to keep going while stuck between these options if she didn't separate herself entirely from them. the only people offering her escapes are just asking if she'd please come get abused by them instead of the current guy and every option is still better than how she was raised
#fita#She doesn't know she could have other options if she changed her goals. or. she doesn't want the other options bc What would it be for then#what would've been the point of all that time training in the attic. so much of her passion from dance comes from the fact that dancing was#one of the only things she could do in the attic and the time they spent up there had to be Worth Something. but in trying to create a life#from the foundation laid in the attic she's putting down a bunch of rotten support beams and they are going to collapse.#shes living as an echo. that whole time period of her life is defining the rest even if she's defining it by the good parts#like. goal that was set as a way to cope with abuse and set in a vacuum of total abuse. and then she Just Kept Going. and everyone is#telling her she's going to run off a cliff but she doesn't believe them because they've all done the same stuff to her. no that's not right#that's part of it but it's also so much that she believes all abuse will lead to something good. penance and deserving and making time wort#it. she believes that this abuse will lead to something that jusitifies it because she's dedicating her life to justifying the earlier abus#^which is also just a thing all the dance teachers are telling her. that she can't stop or leave now bc she has to make all this hard work#and suffering worth it. which is also the logic their mother used to keep them in the attic
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ynkow when you have a popcorn kernel stuck in your wisdom teeth for like two weeks and then you finally get it out and it smells like literal shit?
#polls#polls of tumblr#bro it literally smelled so bad#ive also pulled completely rotten quinoa out of my wisdom teeth that smelled like ass.#i do brush and floss it just gets way down in there#me; huh my mouth tastes so weird and i feel sick all the time#my mouth; literally shit bacteria and rotten food#ik this is gross and tmi but im still reeleing#this happened like 5 hours ago at work and it's still bugging me#it smelled SO bad yallll
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good evening just wanted to point out to you that on the back of warrant's D.R.F.S.R. there are exactly 32 pennies and shards of glass, presumably a ragu jar
#the pic is cut kinda awkwardly i know#but anyway if you count them don't forget the coin all the way down on the bottom#it's barely visible but it's there <3#warrant band#dirty rotten filthy stinking rich
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me when running away from everyone makes me end up all alone:
#i dont have any irl friends anymore theyre all gone with my old discord and its been too long to go back#i lost myself over the summer in ways i can never explain.. i dont know where i am if im being honest#drinking is worsening it all#i feel so insane.. genuinely.. i cant stop getting into my own head and letting it all happen#its just me and teddy#im too scared to leave the house for longer than a few hours anymore#i cant handle people looking at .e#me. i cant handle talking. i cant handle daily tasks of anything. even these days moving feels too hard#i keep finding myself face down floating in the river#and when i turn my body over#my face isnt rotten#it isnt bloated at all.#... its just me and i look young and like i died two minutes ago#then i snap out and im making dinner#and im someone else. somewhere else forever#im so alone but id rather it right now. no one knows how bad it is. intentionally. i never tell anyone#because what would they do?#the only thing i ever learned was to run away and hide. i cant stop thinking i need to keep doing it#i just want everyone to be rid of me so i keep running and running and running
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Thinkings thinkings of Fatui!Kaeya have been reawakened in reviewing Arle's teasers/animations
#v; l’innamorato (fatui!kaeya)#//Whether it's Dad!Pierro or not; I do love the idea of him being left in the care of the Fatui/House of Hearth#//Tho timelines considered; he prolly would be in Pierro's personal care while Arle goes through her Traumatic Matricide Experience#//Doubt the man would want to leave him out of his sight; Khaenri'ahn/Alberich ties considered#//Or maybe he was raised/trained to fight under Signora. Or even for Columbina (her namesake's ties to Pierro's; considered)#//Tho also do LOVE the idea of Kae and Taru growin up together in the Fatui ranks and being the disastrous + shy boi duo#//Tho Kae'd prolly have less to hide/fear with them when it comes to his heritage. The strictness he'd be raised with though...#//Eh; Taru could bring him out of his shell even still jdbgfkf. If anyone can; he deffo could. His little wintry sunshine#//So maybe he'd grow into his peacock self a little more naturally; even if perhaps still out of necessity/for ease of his missions#//Less of a facade to hide his grief/missing pieces tho; more like the way Taru is charming & goofy to lower people's guards#//Still has his little habit of testing people deffo is Much worse and much more sadistic when it comes down to it#//Particularly towards fellow Fatui who disrespect him or their comrades; or just someone he ends up disliking in general#//Does 'test' new comrades; but is more willing to step in & help them if need be. Wants UTMOST trust; determination & loyalty in his men#//So will only ever take those who push to complete the mission at all costs; even themselves/willingly ask him for help when they need it#//Dislikes those who run; & LOATHES cowards who abandon comrades to save themselves; he WILL deliberately make sure they don't make it back#//Still employs his intel gathering methods as normal verse; but has preying mantis tendencies when it comes down to it nbcfjgf#//ESP if they try to take advantage of/blackmail him in some way. Or worse; those who betray him. He is meticulous & VERY ruthless abt it#//His signature is decapitation & an unmelting (Abyssal energy-laced) ice shard through the heart; around which he'd carve a stylized one#//If those informants keep being useful to him; they are safe; and treated so lovingly by him; spoiled rotten with gifts & favors aplenty#//Once they lose their usefulness...well; regrettably he cannot leave any loose ends. These become frozen as statues for him to keep#//'Precious mementos of lovers & conspirators'; he'd call them. He'd keep them in his private home in Snezhnaya#//If he had to have a Harbinger title/name (maybe bumped up for when Scara erases himself); he'd prolly be l'Innamorato#//Fitting of his methods (is also the remaining role of Commedia dell'arte lololol). He is saccharine sweet; pretty & deadly as a belladonn#//Deffo would have tango-based motifs rather than waltz; would favor frost-laced roses. Might even leave those with his victims too#//Can you tell I listened to Rondo Across Countless Kalpas as I wrote this up jhbfjgkfhf#hc; kaeya#//I mean yeah lol. I have so many more thinkings abt this verse aaAAAA#//Am torn if I want his to use a Cryo Delusion; or have him with Cryo Vision and an Anemo Delusion. Do like that for Cryo Swirls#//Then his rage/scorn could be likened to a Blizzard. Do like that image. Deffo favors his Abyssal powers more tho; maybe THAT'd be better
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since were living in this new age of understanding when it comes to how becoming famous (especially tabloid famous/infamous) at a young age negatively effects your mental health and psychological development i think its time that ppl start reevaluating how they talk about the sex pistols
#sex pistols#hoodie talks#i mean i would think this regardless but seriously#any conversation about the sex pistols that doesnt include just how young they were and how mistreated by the public and press they were#is an incomplete one that doesnt address crucial aspects of their story#you cannot understand why sid vicious ended up dead from suicide at 21 without talking about this!#you cannot understand why johnny rotten is the way he is now without talking about this!#johnny got famous at 19! he spent his entire adult life famous! and by famous i mean infamous aka The Bad Type Of Famous#he was the designated acceptable target of an entire nation during some of the most formative years of his life#'why is he so mean and defensive?' oh idk maybe its bc ppl stabbed him bc he sang a song they didnt like!#imagine being 20 years old and every journo in the country is either writing about you being the voice of your generation#or about how youre the spawn of satan who should be hung from the nearest lamp post#imagine youre 20 and the government is saying that shit about you too#imagine youre 20 and every single thing you say is picked at and poured over and ascribed countless different meanings#imagine youre 20 and you cant even walk down the street without being harassed by someone you dont know#imagine youre 20 and someone sticks a razor in your hand and disables you for life bc you wrote a song they didnt like#imagine youre 20 and your neighbor barges into your flat bc your music was too loud and stabs your 14 year old friend#and then when you ask the police for help they tell you that she deserved it for hanging out with you#now imagine the kind of person youd be if you lived through all of that#and now imagine that every time you ever sorta lashed out or were kinda mean ppl said 'shut up you whiny attention whore'#imagine if everyone collectively got together when you were 19 and decided that you didnt get to be a person anymore forever#thats what johnny lydon's life has been since 1975#punk rock posting
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Song of the Day: May 29
“Evil Like Me” by Kristin Chenoweth & Dove Cameron for Disney's Descendants OS
#song of the day#time is fake! sometimes I'm awake and it's logical to assume that sometimes I'm asleep! and the days must pass but do I ever know?? nope#fuck I spent all day thinking today was the last day of the month and then it turns out it's not even Thursday#sang 'Evil Like Me' with Duncan at the dinner table while I ate the cabbage and I made this cabbage after the work not-a-bbq so#almost definitely that was today!#I fell asleep standing up in the shower again but the drain has been draining very slowly so when I woke up there was water above my ankles#if I flood our house with the water from my shower while I am actively standing in it and I don't notice because it's the only time I sleep#I'm going to shrink myself down and move in with the mice colonizing our neighbor's boat trailer#the mice will never know my shame. Duncan will put cheese sandwiches out in the alley for us and it will be more than I deserve#this is a really good song. very fun lyrical nonsense and also very fun musically to sing. love the idea of Kristin Chenoweth Maleficent#'I have tried my whole life long / to do the worst I can / clawed my way to victory / built my master plan#now the time has come my dear / for you to take your place / promise me you'll try to be / an absolute disgrace'#Nick really doesn't like this song for some unspecified reason--we've asked but he just gets kind of mad? like it should be obvious?#I think maybe he thinks they're making fun of people who sing about like. doing crimes? being bad???????????????#like honestly what could be more punk she's literally Maleficent but go off I guess#I dunno but if I were going to be mad about a Descendants song that I occasionally roam the house over-selling#it wouldn't be a Broadway-star-supported certified banger like 'Evil Like Me'#it'd be goofyass 'Rotten to the Core' where I'm playing four parts simultaneously and pitching my voice up and down like a rollercoaster#love that fucking song it's so dumb and it's so much fun and I get to stomp on the chorus bits
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just got off a conference call with the fam and by fam i mean cousins and grandparents and great uncles all coz my baby sister (22) rang my mother up, in tears coz her bitch ass manager yelled at her in front of customers. murder was plotted. an entire smear campaign was launched. doxxing was considered. my brother is on his way to the shop with the intention to get her fired. madness. literally spent the last hour of my work in the toilet trying to talk various family members off the ledge.
#yaz chats to the void#with the way theyre carrying on they will shut down the store#granted this is her first ever work experience -shes spoiled rotten but its workplace harrassment.#my first reaction was to hop on the bus and have a scrap thanks to a lifetime of intimidating would be bullies when they tried my siblings#but she's 22 now and she has to fight her own battles lmaooo#i told her to wage psychological warfare but my mum has ideas about going in as a customer and being an absolute nightmare to the bitch#grandma wants her out of the job - she's only had it for two weeks - and says she will pay for whatever she needs#once i moved past the initial 'fight maim or kill' instinct i had to sit with the fact that we coddled her so much#and that my family is insane.#at least no one's chasing down folks with a cleaver#or running someone over with a car#or threatening to poison someone#omg#omg omg omg#this is bringing back so much stuff#growing up i thought it was normal.... so many dodgy and straight up illegal shit my family would pull#in retaliation for any and all slights#perceived or otherwise#i know what i need to tackle next in therapy
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#i have a light feeling that my mom might be hinting at something#with the whole. mentioning my mood swings and sensory issues and poor social skills and such#i say i'm unsure because she's not one to be subtle in situations like this? so i feel like i'm projecting#but she did suggest (partially related) going to a psychologist#and the thing about me is that i'm very self aware about my many flaws and therefore have decided#that i can't fix them or that it's not that bad as long as *i know* the issue is there#which is starting to sound like an issue in itself? but i feel like im being way too dramatic every time#i know i'm just in a stressful spot in my life and that it will pass in a few months#but i am starting to seriously consider getting an outsider's perspective. just in case#im feeling down *all* the time lately but there's always a reason to blame so i feel like it's just rotten luck and not something within me#there's not enough time but also too much of it for me to make excuses for not being able to do Anything at all and i feel paralyzed#but isn't it just the everyday terror of being in charge of yourself#i wish i could come up with a definite answer but there isn't one and the childish part of me is so frustrated with it#i have a fantasy of violently breaking my arms that doesn't lead anywhere i just feel the urge consistently enough that it's a pattern#(ive never self harmed i know i won't that's why it's just a fantasy)#i crave complete anonymity i crave deep genuine human connection and i don't want to talk to anyone. ever again.#ive talked with at least three different people partially about those thoughts#but talking about it is difficult and like pulling teeth#im clumsy with my words. can't quite find the precise meaning i want. i stutter and hum and mumble#i hate talking but if i don't i will explode#i want to be taken seriously but saying things outloud makes them sound so harsh and i don't know if it is that serious#but it's a pebble of thought that i can't stop turning around in my head over and over and over until im sick#never! ending! story! jesus christ#vent post#← tagging just in case#pretend you've never read it
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What I always fail to consider when I create my absolutely realistic to-do lists and plans is the fact that I'm just. So so tired
#either i am a giant cry baby or there is something wrong with me#(in this house we ignore chronic lack of sleep and other unhealthy lifestyle decisions and questionable dietary choices and habits#that has absolutely nothing to do with my feeling of utter exhaustion#this feeling of malaise is completely beyond my control#no but fr i think i would feel 90% better had i slept 1 more hour last night#idk how i survived the first 3 months of this year where i was getting 3 hours on average#i had at least 4.5 hours last night and i feel like dying lmao#had to lie back down this morning after finishing my preparation for the seminar and doing some yoga because i felt like passing out#but i went to class and it was actually okay today and i didn't faint and i even contributed something#amazing#(i mean we were forced to say something but i did say more than the bare minimum so i think that's an absolute win)#uh anyway i need to work for 2 hours and then study korean and do my homework and realistically that's gonna take 4 hours at least#and i need to prepare for my seminar on Thursday which realistically also takes at least 4-5 hours because I'm so fucking slow#and technically i need to work and catch up with my other 2 courses which would require 2 hours a day#and i need to write my stupid term paper from last semester but i haven't even found a topic yet and i need to prepare my stupid#presentation for one seminar and then start working on the term paper for that as well and then start working on the term paper for my#other seminar and then#I'm just way too overwhelmed lol- idk how people manage life. i feel like a rotten corpse all the time and don't even do anything#i need to clean and do laundry and take out the trash and do the dishes and do laundry and write emails and#i just wanna sleep ahahah#ok I'll stop complaining now. I know how much other people do all the time and my workload is nothing in comparison.#i just like to be dramatic#void screams
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LRT (last reblogged post)
#I got a complicated relationship with religion#mainly bc I'm orthdox christian#bc whatever its got to offer is rotten and empty#but i don't think I can live without the order that 'christian holidays' impose over the year#things are just done that way#i want them done that way because it's part of my culture#and I don't want to leave the dead unattended#and if christianity as it is here is the only way to do it I've got nothing against it#offer them food and candles and a prayer because we the living still care about them-#i have so much to say on the subject#but I guess that's why I'm trying to put all those things down in novel style#god is in the everyday#in the bread and in a smile#in the birds singing and the grass growing and there's sacred in places and object of personal importance#worship is tilling the earth and watching fruits ripen and using them all up to make tuica#worship is making art and music and watching the rain fall down during a thunderstorm and sitting in the quiet and awe#enjoy living and remember your dead#afford everyone kindness.
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really long rant (happy rant) in the tags, mostly towards @synthetic-lavender /vpos
romance repulsed aros and romance favourable aros are both cool and valid but because i never see anything about us: shoutout to romance indifferent aros. romance neutral aros. aros who just couldn't care less. aros who have a conflicted relationship with romance. aros who are fine with romance in some contexts but not in others. aros who don't mind romance when it's not amatonormativity being shoved down their throats. aros who haven't yet figured out their feelings about romance. aros to whom romance is Just Something That Exists. y'all are rad as hell and it's okay not to 'pick a side'!!
#I’m an aro who is heavily indifferent about romance except for when it comes to our beloved Freya because we love her as both a friend#and as a lover.#there’s a saying we like to go by that we picked up on from one of our favorite songs#“Kiss whoever makes you feel sound but it takes time man to figure it all out”#AND WE STRONGLY STAND BY THAT.#We’ve been through so many relationships that romance isn’t really a thing anymore to us because of trauma and abuse. We only felt romance#towards two people (Freya being one of them) that it’s lowkey so numbing to us but yet we also like the idea of romance because like#you get to share your life and your life experiences with somebody you love and it’s the most amazing thing ever because it builds the bond#between you guys closer and stronger and it’s beautiful.#but yet it’s so confusing and new to us still because like. whenever we think about freya it gets so gushy and messy because we actually#love her and it’s so strange and new because she’s actually a really good person.#I tell you. Freya is literally one of the best person in the world. Freya would literally sit there and wait for you to return and would#wait for you forever and looks past the abuse and misguidance you went through with the person that abused you previously because deep down#inside she knows that’s there’s a gentle and sweet and caring being within you that wants to be let out and free.#she looks past the facades and masks you’d go through to please people and brings out the best in you. she knows that you wouldn’t act that#way and she knows that you’re equally as much as a being as she is.#she knows deep down inside that you have a huge distaste towards cursing all the time she knows that you want to help everyone and she know#that no matter what anyone tells you that your interests will always be apart of who you truly are#a childish fun-loving sweet person who just wants everyone to be okay.#she sees past all of the dirt that’s been put in my mouth and understands that what you had to do was to survive.#and god darn it. you survived. you’re still surviving.#and you can’t help but melt because all you’ve known are false loves and friendships and relationships yet this is real.#she’s real. she’s so. kind and pure. she doesn’t want any trouble or rottenness to be spread around. she just wants everyone to be happy.#like you.#not all of us are designed to be with everyone. some of us need more care and kindness than others.#and. I think Freya. is the right one for me. for us. for us as a system. but. especially for. me.#Freya reminds me of the first person that first truly loved us and I love that because Freya is better than the first person we actually ha#feelings for. They even have a similar-ish name. Felicity. Freya. both begins with F has an e within their names and has a y close to the#end of both their names.#having someone that reminds you of someone you truly loved and cared for and having someone who’s an actual good pure person is. the best.
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