#it's ridiculous but I love the waffle hair lol

[critter-of-habit]

Fine then, I'll make my own version of the deleted ice cream date scene

[xomakara]

The Highlights of Romance

THoR Chap. Masterlist | Previous | Next

Chapter length - 2,060 words A/N - Ya'll thought I forgot about this, huh? I didn't lolol. I was in the process of writing this and then I had other WIPs going as well lol. I should have another chapter coming up soon.

I'm still wondering my series chapters are shorter lolol.

Chapter 006 - Teasing

"So Y/N..." Johnny muttered one day as you met up for breakfast with him, Renjun and Yangyang in the apartment's cafeteria. Mark declined on breakfast, saying that he was too busy with this new project that he was working on. "Mark?"

"Uh huh..." You nodded, looking down at your breakfast. "What about him?"

"Are you dating Mark?" Renjun asked curiously. "Have you-"

"We're just going on dates." You shook your head. "And no, we have not fucked yet."

"Why not?" Yangyang gasped. "You guys seem like a perfect match!"

"Uh…I don't know." You shrugged. "Maybe I'm afraid to lose myself in him."

"Do you really think you could fall in love with Mark?" Johnny asked cautiously.

"No, not at all." You scoffed. "Just taking things slow."

"Wait, wait…" Yangyang interrupted you. "Hold on. Slow? How do you define 'slow'? One date every week?"

"Well, actually..." You chuckled lightly. "Two dates per week."

"Come on Y/N!" Renjun sighed, waving his hand. "This is ridiculous. Two dates a week? Seriously?"

"Shut up Renjun." You rolled your eyes. "Anyway, it's only been a few weeks. I mean, that's nothing considering how long I've been single."

"And yet you're happy?" Yangyang raised an eyebrow.

"Yup. Happy as a clam." You replied.

Yangyang looked over at Renjun who was nodding his head in agreement.

"I see." Renjun said slowly. "Then I hope that this doesn't change between you and Mark. Ever since you decided on Mark, the three of us has decided its probably better to be friends and help cheer you and Mark on."

The other men clearly complained that you were playing favorites when you told them that you and Mark would be going on dates. Johnny had heaved a heavy sighed, running a hand through his hair before giving you a hug and saying that he wished you all the best since Mark definitely needed to get laid. Both Renjun and Yangyang, slightly disappointed that they were booted off the running list, was cheering you on. You had established a comradery with the three men, the three allying themselves to beat up Mark if he ever hurt you.

You doubt it would happen since Mark was the sweetest guy. But you were happy to have new friends like them.

"Thank you." You nodded gratefully. "We haven't known each other that long but you guys are great. I wish everyone were like you guys."

"Now enough about that." Johnny waved his hand. "How's your novel coming along? You getting any inspirations from your dates with Mark?"

"Err…yeah." You shook your head. "A lot actually."

"What kind of inspirations?" Yangyang asked curiously.

"Well…" You chewed on your lip nervously. "He makes me feel different."

"Different how?" Yangyang raised an eyebrow.

"Good different." You shrugged. "Everything feels different when I'm with him. Like everything else falls away and all I focus on is him."

"That sounds great." Johnny grinned widely. "Is he good in bed too?"

"Did you forget the part where I said we haven't fucked yet?" You rolled your eyes. Renjun and Yangyang burst out laughing while Johnny simply held up his hands in defense. "Mark’s playing hard to get."

"Look at the bright side, Y/N." Renjun chuckled. "Once you two fuck, everything is gonna become clear. Because right now you're lost."

"Thanks." You gave him a weak smile. "Now back to the subject at hand."

"Alrighty then." Yangyang smiled happily. "Well I suggest you continue writing. Write as much as you can whenever you can. Maybe Mark would give you more ideas on how to spice up your book."

"True." You nodded. "Thank you."

"Hey guys." Mark called out, startling you.

You jumped slightly, catching a glimpse of Mark holding two cups of coffee and a plate of waffles. He glanced at you with a sheepish grin.

"Sorry." He chuckled lightly. "Didn't mean to scare you. I actually had some time to get breakfast."

"No problem." You smiled warmly. "Hey, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead." Mark took a seat next to you.

"Well…" You fidgeted with your fingers. "Since we’ve been going on these dates, my inspiration seems to be flowing in abundance. What do you think is causing it?"

"My charm." Mark shrugged casually.

You narrowed your eyes. "No way."

"Of course." Mark laughed. "I have plenty of charms that would bring forth ideas. You have been writing a lot lately. My charm has definitely played a part in that."

"I'm starting to notice." You nodded slowly.

"And then there's my voice." He continued. "The deep sexy tone that sends shivers down your spine."

"Okay." You mumbled.

"There's also my personality." He added. "The way I smile when I'm happy, the smirk on my lips when I'm in deep thought…"

"Just hurry up and fuck already, you two." Johnny chortled. "Your flirting is hurting my eyes."

"You jealous bro?" Mark teased. "Don't worry, your turn will come too."

"Hahaha." Johnny laughed. "Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you real hard."

"Ooh! Now that is the mark of true friendship." You chuckled.

"Oh, yeah." Mark suddenly clapped his hands together, causing everyone to look at him. "What are you doing tomorrow night? Writing or being a lazy fart?"

"Uhm…" You bit your lip. "Writing actually."

"Excellent!" Mark declared. "Come over to my place around eight o'clock. I'm sure I can come up with a few story ideas that will make your fingers bleed from writing so fast."

"Great." You nodded, raising an eyebrow. "So what kind of story ideas?"

"A sexy superhero tale of romance." He smiled wickedly. "You in a black leather catsuit with spiky armor?"

"You wish." You snorted. “Although that does sound pretty sexy…”

"Ha ha." He rolled his eyes playfully. "I'll be waiting for you then."

"Sounds great." You smiled.

"See ya then." Mark waved as he stood up, placing his cup of coffee and the plate of waffles on the table. "Bye Y/N."

"Bye Mark." You waved back.

“Y’all gonna fuck.” Johnny laughed from his seat once Mark was out of earshot. You nearly forgot he was there.

“Mmmhmmm.” Renjun agreed. “They’re going to fuck. Mark’s gonna fuck.”

“They won’t stay friends after this.” Yangyang predicted.

“Nope.” Johnny nodded his head. “Not after Mark fucks her. There’s nothing more for him than to stick his dick in her and send her back home so she can go back to writing porn.”

“Lord. Why am I friends with you guys?” You muttered, burying your face in your hands.

You groaned inwardly. For the past hour you sat in front of your laptop screen, trying to write but having absolutely zero luck whatsoever. The spark of inspiration was completely gone. The idea of having sex with Mark made your imagination run wild but once you tried to write down your thoughts into sentences, the words failed to flow. All you ended up with were meaningless nonsense. You kept re-reading your last paragraph, trying to see if there was anything wrong with it. But for the life of you, you couldn't understand why you couldn't write anything decent. This wasn't the first time you found yourself in this situation but it was becoming increasingly frustrating. Your excitement for writing seemed to disappear as you stared blankly at your screen. You didn't even know where to start anymore. So you closed your laptop and went to take a shower. Maybe you should try again later when you were feeling less distracted. Or maybe sleep. That always helped.

With that, you walked to the bedroom, stripping off your clothes as you headed to the bathroom. After you shut the door behind you, you started up the shower, letting the water flow over your body. Once you felt clean, you turned the water off, wrapping a towel around yourself before walking towards the closet. Your mind wandered aimlessly as you picked out your clothes for the day. Black pants and a red shirt that made you look a bit more feminine than usual. A white undershirt completed the outfit and a pair of flats finished off your ensemble.

Once you were dressed, you grabbed your phone and wallet, leaving your unit and making your way to Mark's unit across the hall.

You arrived a little earlier than you planned. Luckily, Mark hadn't locked the door yet so you easily slipped inside without difficulty. Your eyes swept across the room until they rested on the man sitting on the couch. You didn't need to see him close up to recognize him as Mark. It was written all over his handsome face.

You smiled softly, tiptoeing towards the couch.

He was engrossed in a game, completely oblivious to your presence. With a simple gesture, you placed your hands gently on either side of his face, bringing his gaze up to meet yours. Mark blinked rapidly, blushing furiously when he finally realized that you were standing inches away from him.

"Hi Mark." You whispered quietly.

"Hey Y/N." Mark grinned shyly, rubbing his neck awkwardly. "Thought you almost forgot our meet-up."

"Mmhmm." You nodded, biting your lower lip. You let out a laugh. "I almost did forget."

"What am I going to do with you?" Mark hummed as you sat next to him on the couch. "How's the writing sesh?"

"Horrible." You answered immediately. "None of the words want to come out. It's just I'm having trouble thinking straight right now."

"Maybe you should take a break." Mark suggested. "Take a breather, gather your thoughts and try again."

"Hmm…maybe." You tilted your head to the side. "Why don't you distract me instead? Just say something to get my attention. Something really sexy that'll make me lose my train of thought."

Mark bit his bottom lip, contemplating whether or not he could pull it off. The problem was that he didn't want to disappoint you. You were older than him by four years and way more experienced when it came to sex. You practically knew all the tricks.

It took a moment for Mark to summon up the courage to speak up.

"I don't think-"

"Say it." You cut him off, cutting his sentence short. "Or else I might find myself using my evil plan B."

"B, what?" Mark stammered.

"B. Bedroom." You leaned forward, pressing your chest against his.

"I thought we agreed on no sex." Mark frowned. "Just dates."

"Then hurry up and say it. Now." You insisted. "I need you to distract me."

Mark sighed, giving in. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead, he simply pressed his lips firmly against yours, drawing a sharp gasp from your lungs. His lips tasted faintly of coffee and it made you wonder what he was drinking. Then again, it could be just a natural taste that existed due to proximity. You ran your fingers through his hair, enjoying the feel of its silky strands brushing against your skin. Mark slowly parted his lips, allowing you to deepen the kiss further. He moaned lightly as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You melted against him, opening your legs to allow him better access.

"Damn it." Mark grunted. "This is way harder than I expected."

"Are you done?" You asked teasingly. "Because if you keep kissing me like that I'm going to have great stories to tell the guys. Trust me. They'll love it."

"God damn it." Mark cursed, pressing his forehead against yours. "Wasn't this distracting enough?"

"Yes." You laughed, leaning your head against his shoulder. "If you promise to kiss me like that again, then I'll refrain from banging you right here and now."

"Deal." Mark smiled cheekily. "But only if you promise to write one of those sexy superhero stories about us."

"Deal." You chuckled.

"Now come on, get off me." Mark laughed, trying to push you off his lap.

You allowed yourself to be pushed off and got up from the couch, giggling as you placed your hands on his cheeks, bringing them up to press a kiss on his lips. "I'm still going to tell the guys that you kissed me. And it'll be a hell of a story."

"Alright." Mark chuckled. "Let's just hope that you can write something worth reading. No cheating, okay?"

"No cheating." You giggled. "Promise."

THoR Chap. Masterlist | Previous | Next

[arrowfleur]

🖤 Random Redacted Head-Canons 🖤

Because I can’t sleep

🖤 Sam rubs his fingers through Darlin’s hair and up and down the bridge of their nose to help them sleep 🖤

🖤Angel has a bunch of little umbrellas and funky straws they use every time they make themselves a drink 🖤

🖤 Vincent practically never uses his lights and has about 1000 candles lit around his house 🖤

🖤 Asher dyed his hair a lot as a teen and now when one of the mates feels like a change he’ll set up a little salon in his bathroom and dye it for them 🖤

🖤 Aaron has a ridiculously extensive tie collection 🖤

🖤Babe has so many different wigs and extensions that they match their hair with their outfit most days 🖤

🖤 David lives for 70’s and 80’s rock music and uses the CD player in his car even though it has Bluetooth 🖤

🖤 Geordi had a crush on cutie for ages and was absolutely bewildered when they said they liked him too 🖤

🖤 As much as Freelancer loves that they have one big friendship group they still make sure to spend individual time with all of their boys. At least one night a month for each of them 🖤

🖤 Gavin watched umbrella academy with FL and became absolutely obsessed with klaus’ character. He’d quote him all the time and would magically make certain items of clothing he wore in the show lol 🖤

🖤 As intimidating as Darlin is, sometimes they scrunch up their nose at things and everyone swears (bar David) that it is the cutest thing ever 🖤

🖤 Asher buys his bedding from the children’s section and the first time Babe went over to his place they saw his Pokémon blanket and instantly knew he was the one 🖤

🖤 Angel somehow convinced everyone (David, Milo, Ash, Darlin and the mates) to have a movie night where they watched twilight and even though the wolf were reluctant they ended up having very strong opinions on team-Edward vs team-Jacob 🖤

🖤 Sweetheart ends up crossing paths with the Shaws whilst they are working and Milo cannot take his eyes off of them. They are in work mode and he has never been more attracted to them 🖤

🖤 Guy is lactose intolerant but still eats pizza like all the time 🖤

🖤 Lasko is really good at playing the piano and one day when the DAMN squad go on a trip their is a piano in the train station (we have this where I live I don’t know if it’s common 😭) and fucking performs the most beautiful composition of songs. Everyone else is flabbergasted. 🖤

🖤 Damien is sick at making waffles. Like he’s famous for it and makes them for Huxley whenever he asks 🖤

🖤 lovey has a lightening bolt tattoo but not like a zig zag (cue Harry Potter) its a bunch of different realist strands (?) of lightening curving around the body and it’s really cool

I have so many more but that’s enough for tonight lol

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Seven)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 10.1k

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (!!!), mention of erection, heated make out, marking, grinding, mentions of suicide:( (If this makes you uncomfortable pls skip), mentions of cheating, quick blowjob, swallowing,

Notes: sorry this chapter is shorter than the last! But we only have 2 chapters left guys! And they are long!!! Sorry in advance lol. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter:) Anyway feel free to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:)

Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch @not-your-lion @flowersgirl02 @justinetingball @fiantomartell

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook runs his finger through your hair, his mouth hot on your neck as he leaves behind what feels like a million, slow kisses. You taste sweet and he’s reminded of the first time he got to do this with you and his heart swells at the memory. He feels you grind against him, making him impossibly harder as he grinds back. Your moans fill his ears and it sounds like a chorus of sweet, sweet music to him, he can’t help but grin into his kisses. Suddenly, the image of him kissing down your throat becomes blurry and the sound of your whines echo in the distance. He must be waking up.

Jungkook feels you hovering over him with shocked eyes and he can’t help but wonder what’s gotten into you. He can feel his head beginning to throb from the inevitable hang over that wishes to visit and he raises a hand over it. You continue to look down at him and that’s when he notices it. Them. The hickeys that spread across your skin and he goes absolutely pale.

He looks back at you with wide eyes but he can’t help but feel pride bloom all throughout his body as he looks at how he has marked you but those petals quickly shrivel up when he realizes how badly he must have messed up.

“Oh fuck.” He says under his breath.

“Yeah. ‘Oh fuck’” you repeat back.

Jungkook lifts himself up, leaning on his arms as he takes another look at the bruises that cover your skin. He releases a shaky breath contemplating what to say.

“Drunk.” His eyes slide to the side, “We were really…drunk.”

You narrow your eyes for a split second then look at him with ease,

“Yeah…right…drunk.” You quickly agree.

Jungkook and you share a moment of a silence, admiring one another’s work on the other. You hesitantly reach out, your fingers coming in contact with the side of his neck, brushing against his soft skin.

“This ones huge…I’m sorry.” You say, not sounding entirely sorry. A slight smirk graces your features.

“Ha, you don’t look very sorry.” Jungkook grabs a hold of your hand, “Plus, you don’t even want to see what I did to you.”

You retreat your hand back to touch your own skin, you shuffle out of the sheets and stand from the bed. You walk towards the little mirror over by Jungkook’s closet and take a look.

You audibly gasp, the purple marks that spread across your neck and collarbone are ones for the books.

“What the hell Jeon! How am I supposed to walk out of here today! Everyone’s going to see this!” you gesture towards yourself. “Oh my god.” You turn back to look in the mirror. “This is horrible.”

Jungkook leaves the bed to join you at the mirror,

“Holy shit.” He looks at himself, “I’m not any better!” he throws his hands up but he’s laughing. He’s fucking laughing! You watch in disbelief as he chuckles the fucking day away.

You watch him and you can’t help but start to laugh too. This is just so ridiculous.

“Wait wait…” Jungkook calms down, suddenly becoming serious. “We didn’t do anything else…right?”

“Why are you looking at me like that? Shouldn’t you also remember?”

“You’re the girl! Can’t you like tell…if we…” He motions his hands between your bodies.

“Oh my god. No, we didn’t do anything else. Do you really not remember everything?” you ask with a frown.

“I feel like I do…but I was just being you know, sure.”

Jungkook wishes he could remember everything in great detail but the reality is he was really drunk and some moments are hazier than others. Which is a fucking shame because he wants to remember the first moment you caressed his skin to his lips on yours.

“Do you remember everything?”

“I remember enough.” You admit.

You were drunk, yes. But the memory of you and Jungkook is almost crystal clear and fresh in your mind.

“Bottom line is…we were really drunk and drunk people do stuff like that all the time.” Your hands go to your hips, “I mean, I’ve literally made out with Trina before. Don’t feel special.” You wink, your tone is light and teasing and Jungkook finds you amusing.

“Just two drunk idiots.” Jungkook grins. “So no acting weird.”

“I won’t be weird, will you?”

“I’ll try my best.” He chuckles.

“I’m serious Jungkook, we can be cool about this…” you give him a smile, “It’s not like we haven’t—”

“Stop…” Jungkook lifts his hand up, “I get it.” He chuckles awkwardly.

Your small smile fades, your heart pinches. He never wants to talk about it, did he hate it that much?

“Right…” You begin walking closer towards him and he steps back, your heart pinching once again. “Well, lend me a fucking turtle neck or something so I can get outta here.”

Jungkook smirks down at you as he walks to his closet.

“Fine. Hopefully I have two…I have a black and a white one right?” he asks you from inside his closet.

“Shit, I think I have your white one at my place…”

“I don’t think Nick owns any…”

“Why do you need one? Just stay home today.”

“I’m supposed to meet Vanessa later…”

Your heart doesn’t just pinch this time, it sinks. Deep down into your lower belly until its falling to the ground.

“Oh.”

“I’ll find a scarf or some shit.”

“I’ll bring you your white one, don’t worry.”

“Really? Thanks y/n.” Jungkook walks out of his closet smiling at you, his black turtle neck draped over his arm. “Here.” He hands it over to you.

“Turn around.”

Jungkook raises a brow at you until realization hits him.

“Okay.” He whispers out.

You quickly change into the long sleeve shirt and let Jungkook know he can turn back around.

“I feel like I should make you breakfast or something…” Jungkook scratches the back of his neck, standing here awkwardly.

“Really Jungkook?” you laugh out, “And what would you make me?”

“I think Nick has some toaster waffles.” Jungkook offers with a grin.

“I’m good. I’m gonna head out but I will be back with your shirt!”

“Sounds good, I’ll walk you out.”

You two nod at one another, exiting the bedroom and walking towards the front door. You stop to say goodbye and Jungkook steps into your space, wrapping his arms around you.

“See you in a bit.” He whispers.

“Yeah.” You pull back and smile at him. “See you in a bit.”

~~~~~

“Why the fuck are you wearing a black turtle neck in the middle of August?”

It’s Trina, if you haven’t guessed. It’s the first thing you hear when you step into your apartment, she is over to hang with Holly you’re assuming.

“I was a bit chilly.” You lie through your teeth, giving her a strained smile.

“Take it off.” Trina commands.

“Trina…” Holly warns softly, she’s got her hand on Trina’s shoulder and you can’t help but giggle.

“Wait, your date was last night, right? With this ‘Min Yoongi’? Ooooh, did things go well?” Trina whistles out.

“It wasn’t a date, I already told you…” you whine as you walk into the living room, sitting on the sofa.

“But it did go well! I had a really nice time.” You admit softly, smiling at the memory of your ‘thank you outing’. “He’s so cool and so sweet.” Your eyes light up, “He owns the record shop a few shops away from the bakery!”

“Owns it? Like it’s his?” Holly asks, she shares a pleased smile with Trina.

“Yes, like it’s his.”

“He sounds like a man. Marry him.” Trina gives you an aggresive thumbs up.

“Chill dude.” You laugh. “I think he and I could become really good friends…and…”

“And?”

“Well, you never know.” Your eyes shift to the side as you smirk. “The world is full of mystery.”

Trina smiles brightly, “So you’re saying there’s a chance?”

“I’m saying that there’s not not a chance…”

“I’LL TAKE IT!” Trina lifts up Holly’s hand and high fives herself with it. “Whatever isn’t Jungkook.” She finishes with a grin and you feel your whole body go stiff.

“Trina…” you frown, “I really don’t like when you say stuff like that. Jungkook is a good person. He just…he messed up, yes. But he’s trying.”

“He hurt you.” Trina’s tone goes serious. “How could you forgive him for that?”

“I’m trying too. But I am able to try because I know him…he wouldn’t just hurt me without him having his own reasons…and I love him, T. Like as friends, of course but also…”

“I know.” Trina goes soft, “I know.”

Holly clasps her hands together, “And that’s that! How about we make some food and chit chat some more over some mimosas!”

“I love that idea.” You say.

“But seriously girl, please go change out of that turtle neck…you’re making me sweat just looking at you.” Trina says.

Right, the turtle neck. You told Jungkook you would drop off his white one…well, you gotta find it first.

“Okay, but I have to run an errand first then we can hang.”

“An errand?” Both girls look at you quizzically.

“Don’t worry about it.” Great, now you sound like Jungkook.

~~~~~

Within the hour you are quickly dropping off Jungkook’s shirt off at his place and going back to yours. He answered the door in nothing but his towel again and you tried so hard not to drool. You recall the night before when your fingers were dragging down his chest and his toned stomach. You felt every ab beneath your fingertips. Fuck, that felt good. You’re home now, you shake your head trying to rid yourself of thoughts of Jungkook’s body. But with a body like that? It’s so so hard. Just like how he was…STOP. You shake off these thoughts and try to pay attention to what Holly is saying.

“—And then I turned it in anyway and still got an A!”

“That’s amazing Holly.” You say, trying to act like you weren’t just having impure thoughts.

“Yeah, you totally kick ass.” Trina says.

You girls are a few mimosas in, you feel the champagne starting to work its wonderful magic on you but unfortunately it is making you start to sweat. You want to take off this damn turtleneck.

“I’ll be right back.” You say quickly before retreating to your bedroom. You find a baggy t-shirt and slip it on. This feels much better! But god damn. These marks on your skin are something else. You rush to the bathroom and try to cover some with makeup but it’s hardly helping. Fuck.

“Welp, maybe they won’t notice.” You whisper to yourself.

You walk back out into the living room and you notice both Holly and Trina’s eyes go comically wide.

“Wow, that date did go better than you thought!” Trina starts whooping and hollering.

“Wow y/n.” Holly really does look shocked.

Okay, so maybe they did notice. You feel so self conscious all of the sudden, your hands flying up to your neck to cover yourself.

“It’s—It’s not what it looks like.” You stammer out.

“It looks like this Yoongi guy is really into marking!” Trina yells out with a grin.

“Yoongi is really into marking…” Holly eyes you with horror in her eyes.

“Yoongi! Yoongi! Yoongi!” Trina begins chanting, she looks over at Holly and lightly taps her thigh to get her to start chanting the name as well.

“Guys…” You whine into your hands, “It wasn’t Yoongi.” You must be admitting that because you’ve had a few mimosas.

Silence. The room falls undeniably quiet.

“Wait what?” Trina asks, her wide grin beginning to fade.

“Did you meet with someone else last night?” Holly begins to pry.

“Did you go to a bar or something and meet a rando?”

“Did you bump into someone on the street?”

“Did you call up and old boyfriend? An old hookup?”

“Guys!” You yell out, “I met up with Jungkook last night!”

Once again, the room goes silent.

“You what?” Trina asks plainly, “What does that have to do with the hickeys on your neck?”

“Really Trina?” your head falls into your hands, “We kind of…”

“You guys fucked? Really?” Trina’s serious tone is back.

“No! We just got really drunk and made out! That’s it!”

“But is that really it for you?” To your surprise, it’s Holly who asks this.

“It’s fine. We were just drunk. We decided not to be weird about it. And we won’t.”

“How can you be sure of that?” Trina asks, her voice gone soft.

“Because I will text him in a few days, he’s going to text back. Or I’ll call and he will answer like normal. I’ll ask to hang out or something and we will just be two friends who hang. It will go just like that!”

Except it doesn’t go like that at all. A few days pass and you decided to text Jungkook in the morning after you woke up. You don’t expect to hear back from him for a couple of hours since he will probably sleep in. But hours and hours go by and it’s the afternoon now and you still haven’t heard from him.

“You have reached the voicemail box of…” You click the end button on your phone again for like, the 6thtime. Why isn’t Jungkook answering? It’s a Wednesday afternoon, you know you remember him saying he had today off for some reason so what is he up to? Even if he was with Vanessa, would he really ignore you like this? 6 calls in a row?

You decide to try Jimin, maybe they’re together. You look him up in your ‘Favorites’ and click clack away to calling him. After several rings the boy finally answers,

“Hey.” He says somewhat out of breath, “I’m working, what’s up?”

“Hey it’s nothing really…” you begin, “But have you heard from Jungkook…? I can’t get a hold of him…”

“Huh? No? Maybe he’s just, I don’t know, busy babe.” You can hear Jimin directing some poor child of his wrong moves on the other side of the phone.

“Look, I gotta go. But just try again in a little while, okay?”

“Can you try calling him for me?”

“Huh? Uh, sure. I’ll let you know later. Love you, bye.” Jimin hangs up and you’re left with your phone to your ear, talking to no one.

It’s Wednesday evening now, you and Holly are sharing a pie while watching some weird show on Netflix that Holly insists is good. You’re three episodes in and you’re starting to wonder when the ‘good’ part happens. It’s mostly just been weird but Holly seems invested in it. You’re trying to keep your mind busy, the thought of Jungkook making you feel antsy. You just wanted to call and see if he wanted to chill together…to prove things aren’t going to be weird between you two. Is he really going to be so fucking immature? Big deal, you made out. But to go this far to ignore you? You can’t help but feel so fucking anxious. He won’t ghost you again right?

You mindlessly stick your fork in the pie repeatedly when you feel your phone buzz. Thank God, some sort of reason to look away from this show, you think.

Jimin 6:22pm

Hey, I got a hold of Jungkook…

What the hell? So he answered to Jimin?!

Jimin 6:22pm

It’s probably best to let him be today babe, today is…not a good day

You click off your phone and throw it on the cushion to your side because what the hell does that mean? Not a good day? If he’s not having a good day then shouldn’t he like, lean on you? Wait, you’re asking for too much right? You mean, you’re the one who set boundaries. But if he’s having a bad day why ignore you? You throw the fork in the pie and set it next to Holly, she looks at you mortified that you would just throw your fucking fork. You stand to your feet and start heading to your room.

“Uh, where are you going? Things are just getting good.” Holly whines.

“I’ll be back in a little while Hol, just gotta do something real quick.” You call out from behind you, entering your room to change into some clean clothes.

Once you’re ready you grab your purse and your keys and head towards the front door, and out to your car.

It’s a really quick drive to Jungkook’s apartment, he lives so close to you it’s ridiculous. He couldn’t find an apartment that was further away from his old one? Well, still…you’re grateful it’s a short drive. You wonder how you’ll confront Jungkook. He isn’t the best at opening up so you have to go about this strategically. But knowing you, you’ll be anything but strategic. It’s just with Jungkook you really have to force it out of him—whatever it is. Even then you may get nothing.

You find a parking spot a little a ways from the building, it’s a nice refreshing two minute walk to get inside to find and ride the elevator. You remember riding this elevator with nick and oh god, cringe. You cringe so fucking hard. Speak of the devil, he’s who answers the front door after your insistent knocking.

“Oh hey y/n. What’s up?” Nick’s eyes dart from you to the rest of the hallway. “Is it just you?” he asks, “Jungkook isn’t here…”

“Can I wait inside until he gets home?” you blurt out.

“Uh, sure…” Nick opens the door wider for you to enter. You breeze past him, taking off your shoes at the entrance and make your way to the couch. Damn, you are a woman on a mission.

“Can I get you some water?” Nick offers as he closes the door.

“Sure.”

Nick comes into the living room with a glass full of water and you couldn’t be more grateful. You didn’t even realize how dry your mouth has gotten, the anticipation of Jungkook’s arrival making you nervous.

“Do you know where he went?” you take the glass from Nick and gulp down like half the glass. “He hasn’t answered me all day.”

“Wait, he doesn’t know you’re here?” Nick asks in panicked surprise. “Should you really be here? He might be with Vanessa or like, coming back with her…”

“It’s fine. I’m waiting, is that okay?” you nibble on your lips, waiting for his response.

“Yeah, I guess.” Nick shrugs, “I’ll be in my room if that’s okay? You can watch whatever on TV or like, whatever.” He smiles at you, gesturing towards the TV.

“I’ll be fine Nick.” You smile back.

More than an hour passes, a god damn miserable hour of you sitting on Jungkook and Nicks couch when you finally hear the front door being unlocked. Jungkook.

You straighten up when you hear the door beginning to open, the soft creak sounding a million times louder in your ears.

Jungkook walks through and you notice he is alone, and you sigh in relief. His shoulders are slumped and his head hangs low as he takes his shoes off and you immediately sink in your spot. What’s with him? So, you stand to your feet and clear your throat and he doesn’t even flinch. He just continues walking inside, finding his way into the kitchen. You watch as he opens up a cabinet and reaches for a glass, next he’s fishing the fridge for some fresh water and filling up his cup. He takes a few sips of his water before his dark eyes find you.

“What are you doing here?” his low voice sends a shiver down your spine.

“You went ghost on me today…I was worried.” You leave the living room to walk into the kitchen as well.

“I…” he begins as he sets the glass on the counter. “I didn’t ghost you.”

“How could I be so sure?” you step closer to him, “How come you answered Jimin but not me?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen at your words, like a deer caught in headlights. He blinks at you repeatedly until he tries forming words.

“It’s nothing personal.” He settles for. “Can we talk tomorrow, y/n?”

“Where did you go today?” God, why do you sound like some weird, possessive girlfriend? You cringe at your own words.

“It doesn’t matter.” Jungkook’s eyes darken again, his voice low.

“It matters to me.”

Jungkook looks down at the floor and you notice him take a few deep breaths, like he is struggling to find a steady one.

“Talk to me, Jungkook.” You reach out to him, your fingers finding his and he flinches at your touch. “What’s wrong? Please talk to me.”

“I….” Jungkook’s voice cracks and you wish you could bring him in to hug you but you don’t. You just let him continue.

“I…have nothing to say.”

Oh. Of course. Of fucking course. Of course Jungkook chooses to stay silent. Of course he chooses not to talk to you.

“Is it Vanessa?” you finally find the courage to ask, “Did you two break—”

“No, we’re fine.” He cuts in. Jungkook frees himself from your hand and looks up at you with a strained smile, “I’m fine, y/n.”

Now, you shouldn’t feel upset. Or angry. But you do, you fucking do. It’s been almost 4 years of this same bullshit where he cannot open up to you and its starting to feel insulting.

“You’re…” you step closer to him again but he takes a step back until he’s backed into the counter. “You aren’t fine. Please talk to me, Jungkook.” You try to say calmly but you think the rage is a little evident in your voice.

“Nothing to talk about.”

“Is it because I’m a girl?”

Jungkook tilts his head to the side, not knowing what you mean by that. Yeah, that was a stupid thing to assume but you aren’t smart right now.

“You can’t confide in girls because you have trust issues? You know, because of your mom…how she left you…”

“Stop.”

“That’s it right?” You volume increases as your anger shows, “Are you fucking serious? When have I ever made you feel like you couldn’t trust me? When have I ever fucking left you?”

“Shut up.”

“No! And yeah your mom left you so you like, don’t trust girls I guess but god damn, Jungkook maybe it’s time to get over—”

“I said shut up!” Jungkook���s voice rises to a volume you have never experienced with him before.

“Have you tried looking for her?” you continue to speak, not realizing you are making everything worse.

“I know where she is.” He states, his nostrils flaring.

You flail your arms around, “Then go fucking talk to her.”

Jungkook looks at you with an unreadable expression, his shoulders to his ears and his fists balled up at his sides. He’s quiet. Too quiet. His breaths are beyond shaky and you finally notice it.

Jungkook’s eyes are glossed over and you think you may have gone too far. His lip begins trembling and he tries to speak but no words come out. He struggles to speak to you and it makes you blink at him like an idiot. Why can’t he speak?

“Jung—”

Jungkook lifts a hand up to stop you from talking any further. He inhales sharp breaths and releases shaky ones. His eyes are full of tears but none fall. He stares down at the ground just trying to do something as easy as breathing, but he falls short.

“Jung—”

“Please.” He croaks out. Jungkook walks to the couch and sits down, his head falling into his hands and you aren’t entirely sure at first but after a few moments you really realize…he is softly and quietly crying. Your Jungkook who never cries in front of anyone is sitting on his living room couch crying. You’re speechless. You also don’t know what to do. Do you try to comfort him? Do you leave him alone? But how could you leave him alone when he sits on his fucking living room couch sniffling away?

You hesitantly walk towards the sofa and take a seat next to him. He doesn’t lift his head to look at you, just continues crying into his hands. You don’t have to think about it, you reach your hand to rub soothing circles on his back and start whispering words of comfort in his ear.

Several moments pass when Jungkook finally lifts his head from his hands, but he still doesn’t look at you.

“Mom…” he clears his throat. “Mom didn’t just leave us. She left everything. She left me.”

“I know Jungkook…I’m sorry… I just lashed out on you, you can heal at your own pace and if she wants to see you again, she will.” You continue to rub his back.

“No, you don’t get it.” Jungkook murmurs. “Mom was hurting a lot. You know?” he begins to get choked up, his throat burning.

“Dad cheated, yes. But he was also neglectful of her and she was in a lot of pain,” he sniffs repeatedly, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

“She felt like she had no one, not even me.” Jungkook face scrunches up as he resists more tears.

“She couldn’t even rely on me.”

Fuck. You know where this is going. It is all starting to make sense.

“Mom killed herself when I was 16.” Jungkook finally says, his voice barely above a whisper, like he was too afraid to say it out loud. Like it made it more real.

“Dad didn’t take it well…he started drinking and I rarely saw him around…I had to take care of myself.” Jungkook finally lets the tears fall.

“I hated him. I still do.” Jungkook clenches his jaw.

You sit on the couch unable to comprehend what Jungkook has gone through. You feel like the biggest bitch alive. You forced your best friend to reopen his wounds in front of you and you had the audacity to pour salt in them.

“Jungkook I’m so—”

“Forget it.” He’s quick to cut you off. You stare at him with wide eyes, your own tears staining your cheeks.

“Please leave me alone for a while.” He whispers and immediately you stop him from rising from the couch.

“No!” you pull him back down. He doesn’t even resist, he falls back to your side and you lead his head to rest on your beating chest.

“I’m here for you, Jungkook.”

And that’s it. That’s what it took for Jungkook to scrunch and twist his face until more tears begin flowing out of his swollen eyes. He cries into your shirt, wetting the material.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” You pat his head, your fingers weaving through his dark locks.

Jungkook cries like this for several minutes, until he’s wiping away his tears and snot with his shirt sleeve. He rises from your chest and looks at you with a painful expression.

“Today is mom’s birthday.” He admits.

Fuck.

“I went to her grave today…” he sniffles, “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before. It’s just…” he starts crying again, “Saying it out loud. Makes it real, don’t you think?” His face is swollen and puffy from his tears and you can’t stop your own tears from sliding down your cheeks.

“Jungkook, I’m so, so sorry.” You feel awful. You can’t even fathom what he has gone through…

“It’s okay, this was bound to happen eventually right?” he laughs awkwardly, snot still dripping from his nose.

“I shouldn’t have forced it out of you…God, I am so sorry.”

“I…” Jungkook’s eyes refill with tears as he tries to speak again, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, I really am. I tried so many times but I just couldn’t say it out loud. I just couldn’t.” The tears fall down his face once again, “I tried.” He begins to cry harder. “I really tried y/n.”

You heart breaks. This is a sight you never want to see again but if anyone has to see it you want it to be you.

“Baby…” you whisper. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

“You’d never leave me…right?” Jungkook chokes on his words as he speaks. “I couldn’t handle it.”

You shut your eyes as you think about what Jungkook has gone through. You think about why he’s been so closed off and why he has troubles with people sometimes—especially girls.

“I wouldn’t ever leave you.” You say in promise. “You’re too important to me.”

Jungkook’s face falls back into your chest, he cries into your shirt for several more minutes as you rub his back and play with his hair.

“Wasn’t I important to mom too?” You hear him whisper.

Your heart breaks even more.

“Of course you were, Jungkook.” You try to save, “I know she must have loved you a lot.”

“Then why?”

“She must of thought you were going to be strong enough without her…” Your fingers thread through his hair again, “And you are. But you know, you aren’t completely without her…” Your hand goes to his chest, over his beating heart.

“She’s here too, with you.”

And with that, Jungkook sobs harder. Like, it’s the first time he’s cried over this. And you wonder if it is. He’s gripping on to your shirt so tightly as he releases intense sob after the other. Your heart continues to fucking break.

“I’m here. I’m here.”

It’s been quiet the last 30 minutes, neither you nor Jungkook have spoken. He’s not even crying anymore, just lightly sniffling every now and then. You wonder if he has fallen asleep. You wouldn’t be surprised, all that crying will take out all the energy out of a person…

You lean your head down to get a look at Jungkook’s peaceful face…he is sleeping. You feel yourself relax as you continue to play with his hair. He needs the rest, you think.

You feel your own eye lids getting heavy and you let yourself fall asleep as well. Jungkook snuggles deeper into your side, his face nuzzling in your chest and you hold him tighter. You two sleep like this for many hours until you’re being woken up at the sound of the blender going.

The living room is lit up with sunlight and your eyes blink lazily. You realize Jungkook isn’t sleeping with you anymore and you start to panic. Where did he go? Then the blender goes off again and you decide to stand from the couch, even though your body feels so heavy.

Jungkook is in the kitchen when you walk over, he’s got his back turned to you and you creep up behind him.

“Boo.” You say, wrapping your arms around him.

“When will you realize that will never work on me?” Jungkook lightly chuckles, “Sorry to wake you up. I figure I could make us some fruit smoothies.” He turns around in your hold. You eye him up and notice how puffy his eyes are and you feel your heart drop.

“Fruit smoothie sounds delicious.” You squeeze him tighter and Jungkook laughs a wonderful laugh. It’s loud and full and filled with joy.

“Hug me back.”

Jungkook smiles down at you and circles his arms around your waist, “Sorry, sorry.”

You smile back up at him and lean your head on his body, he feels so warm it could melt you.

“About last night…” Jungkook begins pulling away from you, “I’m sorry I kind of…”

“You don’t have to apologize.” You cut in. “It’s my fault.”

“No y/n…I’m glad things happened the way they did. I actually feel so much better.” He admits, “Lighter, even.”

“Oh? Well, good. But I am still so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay baby.” He goes back in to hug you tighter. You feel his strong arms hold on to you and you want to stay like this forever. You would if you could. But—

“Shit. What time is it?” You step back from him, digging in your pocket for your phone. “Holy hell, I’m going to be late for work.”

“Then get going. I’ll text you later?” Jungkook asks with hope filling his eyes.

“Yeah.” You smile.

~~~~~~

Work was lame as usual, nothing eventful happened. Yoongi must have been too busy at the shop today since he didn’t come in for cookies. You decide you will go see him at the record shop tomorrow but for now…you’re dealing with something else—someone else.

“Oh? You thought Trina wouldn’t tell me?” It’s Jimin. He’s sitting on the edge of your bed with a popsicle between his lips. “Huh Miss Hickeys?”

“Jimin.” You drag his name out, “It’s not a big deal!” you throw your hands up in exasperation. “We were just really drunk and it didn’t mean anything. Just two drunk idiots.”

“Idiots, for sure.” Jimin sucks on the tip of the popsicle while he speaks.

“Seriously, it isn’t a big deal. We’re both over it.”

“Are you? You like him and he…fuck, this is getting so ridiculous. Promise me, just promise me…you will tell him the truth? You might be sur—”

“Jimin, stop.”

Jimin huffs out a deep, long breath and rolls his eyes at you.

“No.” he says matter of fact. “I won’t stop until you two talk.”

“Anyway there’s something more important we need to talk about…” you begin, “He told me about his mom.”

Jimin’s expression goes from shocked to guilty. He takes a few moments to finish the popsicle, biting the last inch or two and throwing the stick in the trashcan.

“I know. He told me.”

“Oh.”

“He’s been wanting to tell you for a long time y/n…but he just—”

“I know. It must have been really hard for him…all this time…”

“Yeah.” Jimin bows his head, “Me and Tae are the only ones who know because we were friends with him when it happened. That’s the only reason why or else I’m not sure anyone would know.”

“Is that…is that Jungkook’s secret? That you three…”

Jimin’s eyes expand as he realizes what you are talking about.

“N-No.” He admits softly, “That’s something else. That’s something Jungkook will definitely have to tell you on his own and trust me if you guys just talked…”

You tilt your head in confusion. What’s the correlation?

“Anyway, Jimin has Jungkook ever cried to you? About it all?” you ask, curiosity getting the best of you.

“He didn’t even cry at the funeral y/n.”

Fuck. You had a feeling. But knowing for sure is a whole other thing. The way Jungkook broke down in front of you felt like it was his first time and maybe it was and that makes your heart ache.

“Did he…cry? In front of you?” Jimin asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah…”

“Oh… he must really trust you.”

You only nod your head in response.

“If you guys just learned to communicate better…I’m really rooting for you two.”

Your heart swells at Jimin’s little confession and you nod your head again, this time with tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.

“Thanks Jimin.” Finally, you feel supported. And it makes you breathe just a little easier.

“I know things haven’t always been easy with you two ever since the Tae thing…but honestly this goes back even further. Doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. We…I don’t know what’s with us.” You chuckle bitterly.

“I do. And I am going to force you two to talk one of these days. I swear on it. I will give you guys some time but damn babe, this is just…” Jimin releases a long breath. “Just don’t give up, okay?”

“Can’t you just tell me?” you don’t mean to sound like you are begging but you kind of do.

“No. It’s truly truly not my place.”

“I can’t just assume what you are talking about, you know? I can’t hope for the best then get crushed. That’s too scary, Jimin.”

“I understand babe.” Jimin scoots closer to you until he’s within arms-reach and caresses your calve. “Just talk to him, please.”

“Too scary.”

“One of these days one of you will have the courage.”

~~~~~~

“And what could be in this little baggy of yours?” Yoongi grins, showing his wonderful gummy smile.

“I brought you 2 cookies Mister Oatmeal Raisin!” You shake the little bag in front of his face in a teasing manner and he chuckles.

“What did I do to deserve your kindness?” He takes the baggy from you and inspects both cookies. “You decided not to be bratty today?” he questions with a smile. “These cookies are perfect.”

You decided to visit the record shop today, on this fine afternoon. It’s one of those days where it’s cloudy and looks like it could rain but it never does. You love days like that.

“This place looks so nice!” you say, bobbing your head around to get a proper look.

“There’s a section where you can sit and drink coffee…it’s not much but its cozy. Wanna check it out?” Yoongi offers, gesturing towards the other side of the shop.

“Yeah.” You say, “Lead the way.”

He guides you to the other side of the shop next to a window. There’s a table for two and he’s right—it is cozy looking.

You sit down and wait for Yoongi as he fetches two coffees, which you are so excited about since you have a fucking addiction.

He sets a cup down in front of you and takes his seat.

“So any new happy moments in life? Anything new to be grateful for?”

“I—”

“That’s a trick question,” Yoongi’s eyes go small as he smiles widely, “There’s always new moments to be grateful for.”

You can’t help but laugh, you bring the steaming hot coffee to your mouth and you blow on the liquid multiple times before bringing it to your lips and taking a sip.

“Yes I guess so.” You smile.

“And what are they?”

“I’m grateful the sun is hiding today, I like the clouds a lot.”

“I love that.” Yoongi takes a sip of his own coffee. “What else?”

“I’m happy you brought me coffee.”

“I’m glad I somehow made it on your list of things.”

“What about you?” you ask.

“I’m grateful my A.C is working again!” he laughs, “It was actually broken for a couple days and I had like 5 fans plugged in around the place. I don’t think anyone wanted to come in here.”

“Oh no! Well, I’m glad it’s working!”

“How are things with your friend Jungkook? You guys were complicated last time I checked.”

You raise your brows in surprise that Yoongi would bring up Jungkook. But somehow you also aren’t surprised, it seems Yoongi takes a genuine interest in your life.

“We’re actually doing okay…” You bring the coffee back to your lips, taking another sip when—

“Have you told him your feelings yet?” Yoongi casually takes a gulp of coffee as you choke on yours.

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry…was that too forward?” Yoongi sets his cup down. “To be fair, you both are very obvious.

“What do you means us ‘both’?” You grab a napkin and wipe your chin where coffee dribbled.

“He clearly likes you too.” Yoongi stares at you as you stare back with a blank expression, and he laughs. “You two remind me of myself and someone I used to know.”

“Used to?”

“We were never on the same page…too many missed opportunities that it ruined anything we could have had.” Yoongi frowns for a split second before breaking out into a soft, gummy smile. “I’d hate to see that happen to you.”

“Yoongi—”

“But if it does then better for me?” he whispers with a smile in his voice.

“What do you mean by—”

“Oh. But he has a girlfriend, right?” Yoongi cuts you off with his question.

“Not exactly but basically…”

Vanessa. Your stomach drops at the mention of her and you hate it. Why does she have to have such a strong affect on you? Why does she even have to exist? You mean, she can exist but maybe not in your life—or Jungkook’s life.

Suddenly, the doors bell goes off with a ding and Yoongi is smiling brightly at whoever just walked in. You continue to sip your coffee not giving it much mind.

“Taehyung!” Yoongi shouts out, standing from his chair to wave over his friend.

Wait, Taehyung? He can’t mean the same Taehyung—

“y/n?”

Oh shit. You turn around in your seat and your face falls when you see him. Even on this cloudy day his skin is so golden like the sun is shining down on him, he looks bright and beautiful. As usual.

“Hi Taehyung.” You wave awkwardly. He can immediately tell how uncomfortable you are, his face deepening into a frown.

“I can come by later…” he offers to you.

“No, no. Don’t be ridiculous.” You try smiling but it’s quite tense.

Yoongi looks between you two and he points between your bodies.

“You two know each other?”

“We went to school together, had mutual friends blah blah blah.” You say.

Taehyung only agrees with the nod of his head. Yoongi blinks at your two and opens his mouth to say ‘Ah.’ And heads to the back for another cup of coffee.

“How have you been y/n?” Taehyung asks awkwardly, he shifts from one foot to the other as he stands here.

“Pretty good, I think.”

“You think?” he chuckles. “Hey, sorry if my texts bother you…”

“They don’t.” you say honestly. “Sorry I don’t always reply.”

“It’s okay, I understand. How’s…Jungkook?” Taehyung eyes shoot down to the floor. “He doesn’t answer my texts either. It really hurts to see years of friendship go down the drain…”

“He’s mad at you Tae,” You begin, “But I think one of these days he will chill out.” You laugh and this makes Taehyung ease up.

“He really fucking loves you.”

“Well we are best friends… sort of.”

“Sort of?”

“We kind of stopped talking for a little while but we’re back to being friends.” You try explaining but Yoongi is walking back in with a cup of coffee in hand. He hands it to Taehyung, which he accepts gratefully.

“You’re here for that new Jazz mix record, right? I have it behind the counter for you.” Yoongi says to Taehyung and Taehyung only gives him a thumbs up. He eyes you curiously, wondering what the hell happened between you and Jungkook.

“I have to get back to work boys!” You stand from the table, “Thanks for the coffee Yoongs”

Yoongi smiles at the new nickname.

“And maybe I’ll see you around, Tae?”

“Yeah.” Taehyung gives you his signature boxy grins and you feel like maybe things all around are getting better. Just maybe.

~~~~~

Jungkook has his hands knotted in Vanessa’s hair as she chokes on his cock, her lips wrapped around it fully.

“Fuck.” Jungkook whines out, “I’m so close.”

Vanessa only moans in response, she continues to bob her head up and down on his dick making his orgasm approach quickly.

“Gonna come, gonna come.”

And he does, he comes down her throat and she swallows it all perfectly. Only a drop or two left behind on her lips which she quickly wipes away with her fingers.

Vanessa stands to her feet and Jungkook pulls her in for a quick kiss.

“That was good…” he says, somewhat out of breath.

“Glad.” She says smoothly, going in for another kiss. This time she lingers, her lips lasting for a moment longer on his.

Vanessa’s fingers brush against his neck, she traces the outline of one last bruise left on the side below his ear.

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” she smiles coyly. “You two sure are weird.” She says flatly.

“Vanessa…”

“It’s fine. I know you know I still see him. It’s not like we agreed to be exclusive.” She taps her skinny fingers on his chest.

“But we are trying aren’t we? To make this work?”

“You aren’t trying very hard, are you?” the amusement in her voice doesn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook.

“He cheated on you, Vanessa. Why are you still seeing him? I thought you said he has a girlfriend now?”

Vanessa pauses her tapping on his chest, her eyes go wide for a second. Like, for a second she wasn’t void of emotion.

“He does.” She says smoothly before she begins tapping her fingers against his chest again.

“He cheated on me with this girl.” She admits, “Little does this bitch know—”

“Is that healthy? Getting revenge?” Jungkook asks, concern lacing his voice.

Vanessa continues to tap her fingers as she narrows her eyes at Jungkook.

“You want to talk to me about what’s healthy?” her empty laugh fills the room.

“I want you to stop.” Jungkook’s hands go to her hips, “Let’s be exclusive, Vanessa.”

“I can’t stop…” she whispers softly, “I can’t let go.”

Jungkook observes Vanessa for a few moments, she looks as vulnerable as she did the first time she talked about her ex with him. He feels sorry for her. He really does want her to move on, for her own sake.

“You can move forward, Vanessa. You have me.”

Vanessa looks into his eyes, studying his serious expression. She can tell he means well but…she doesn’t have him. She never will.

“Please Vanessa, we can make this work.” He begs, yes begs.

Vanessa tilts her head to the side. Oh? This must be his desperation talking, she thinks. His desperation to get over you. She knows this. And she doesn’t hold it against him and instead she decides to help him.

“Okay, let’s make this work.”

~~~~~~~

y/n 8:09pm

On a scale of 1-10 how bad do you wanna watch spirited away right now?

Jungkook 8:15pm

11 girl don’t play

y/n 8:16pm

I thought so, I think this means you need to come over and watch it w meeee

Jungkook 8:20pm

Lemme shower and I’ll be over:)

y/n 8:22pm

Bring beer pllllssss

Jungkook 8:42pm

On my way

y/n 8:45pm

Drive safe bb

It’s around 9pm exactly when you hear soft knocking on the front door. You scurry towards the door and open it, finding Jungkook on the other side. He is wearing your favorite gray puma sweat suit and his hair is wavy and damp. He smiles at you when he sees you eyeing him up and down.

“Like what you see?” he teases.

“Wow, what a classic line Jungkook. Real original.” You scoff, letting the boy through.

Jungkook walks in, setting down a case of beer on the breakfast table.

“I brought our favorite.” He gestures towards the beer on the table. “Let’s drink it while it’s nice and chilly.”

“Agreed. I already have the movie set up.” You point towards the T.V “Ready for our viewing pleasure.”

“Where’s Holly?” Jungkook takes two beers from the case, handing one over to you.

“Her and Trina went out to some bar, I didn’t feel like going.” You take the beer and twist off the cap, Jungkook does the same. You two clank the bottles together in cheers and take a few sips.

“Ah.” You say, the refreshing beer making you feel well, refreshed.

“Because you don’t feel like going to a bar? Or because you would rather hang out with me?” Jungkook smirks, taking another sip of his beer.

“Because I didn’t feel like getting pretty.” You bring the beer to your lips, but you don’t drink from the bottle, just waiting for a response instead.

“You’re always pretty.”

You take a sip of the beer, feeling satisfied with his response. “I know.” You half joke.

“Let’s go to a bar.” Jungkook blurts out.

“W-What?”

“Let’s go in our lounge clothes.” He smiles, “Let’s just do it.”

“No!” you laugh out, “We look like slobs. Well, I do. You look…” your hand motions towards his body, “You know, you look…”

“Are you trying to say I’m hot, y/n?” Jungkook’s sly smile grows as he drinks his beer.

“You know what I mean.” You huff out.

“Well, I think the same of you. So let’s go.”

You can’t help but laugh, you continue to drink your beer back, the liquid settling nicely.

“Okay. Fuck it, let’s do it.” You can’t help but grin, the idea of going to a bar in yoga pants and a t shirt with your sort of best friend sounds so great to you.

“But maybe a little makeup…” Jungkook starts chuckling as you hit his arm with your fist.

“Shut up.”

The bar is mostly pretty casual, maybe not as casual as you and Jungkook but still casual.

Only a small handful of people are actually dressed nicely, but mostly are in jeans and nice shirts. Somehow Jungkook is still the hottest guy here. Even in his sweat suit. You’re surprised you two even got let in, does this place not have some sort of dress code? Guess not.

It’s pretty loud inside, the place has a live band and a decent dance floor. You and Jungkook head towards the bar and take your seats.

The bartender takes a few minutes to reach you two and when she does she automatically nods at Jungkook for his order.

“Two long islands please.” He says, he smirks towards you and you smile back. Long islands? Oh you’re getting drunk drunk tonight.

“You got it.” She smiles at him with all her teeth, and turns around to start mixing the drinks.

“Long islands, huh?” you rest your head in your hand on the bar top.

“I figure neither of us are driving tonight, we might as well go hard.” Jungkook smiles at you. “I’ll buy this first round?”

“Sounds good to me.” You bump fists with Jungkook with a wide smile. “Wanna make a bet?”

“What’s that?” Jungkook quirks a brow at you.

“I bet you $5 that by the end of the night the bartender will hit on you.”

“But I also bet $5 that the bartender will hit on me.” Jungkook pouts.

You stare at him in disbelief at his cockiness and you burst out into giggles.

“Fair enough.” You say between laughs.

The bartender slides two drinks to you and Jungkook, she twists and twirls her hair in her fingers as she asks Jungkook how it tastes. He takes a sip and gives her a thumbs up, you can’t help but snicker.

“Can we also get two tequila shots?” you wave at the bartender. She turns to face you and frowns.

“Sure.” She puts on a fake smile and turns to fill up two shot glasses with tequila. She sets them in front of you a Jungkook and tells you the amount due.

“Tequila shots? Are we trying to fucking die tonight?” Jungkook chuckles from beside you. He grabs two limes and hands you one.

“To us.” You say, lifting your shot in the air.

“To you.” Jungkook whispers as you clank glasses and throw back the shots.

Holy shit, you are fucking wasted. After several tequila shots and a few long islands you and Jungkook are barely holding on. Okay, fine. It’s not that bad. But you guys are really drunk!

His hand hasn’t left your waist for hours, and it feels so fucking nice. It feels perfect. It feels right.

“y/n?” a voice calls out to you. You know this voice, really well in fact.

“Taehyung!” you cheer. You stumble forward and go in for a high five and his drunk ass high fives you back.

“Fancy seeing you again.” You giggle.

Jungkook’s hand grips your waist tighter as he narrows his eyes at Taehyung.

“What do you mean again?” Jungkook asks, his voice low.

“We ran into each other at my friend Yoongi’s” you slur out.

“Hi Jungkookie.” Taehyung awkwardly sways back and forth, his words also slurred. It’s obvious he’s on the same level as drunk as you.

“…Hey.” Jungkook hesitates to respond, he looks between you two. “y/n…is this okay? Talking to him?”

“Hm? Oh? Yeah.” You stare at Jungkook blankly. Why wouldn’t it be, you think.

“Jungkook, maybe we could talk just the two of us?”

You look between the boys and somehow you feel yourself sobering up just a bit.

“Uh. I’ll go to the bathroom.” You say, already walking away.

“You know how sorry I feel.” Taehyung begins, “About everything.”

“What’s everything?” Jungkook mumbles under his breath.

“I’m sorry for what I did to y/n. But I am also sorry for holding your secret over you like that to keep mine.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook slurs out, “That was fucked up.”

“I miss you guys…” Taehyung takes a sip of his drink, “Even Jimin barely talks to me.”

“Shouldn’t have messed with our girl.”

“You mean, your girl.” Taehyung drunkenly corrects Jungkook.

“Whatever.”

“Seriously man, when are you just going to grow the fucking balls?” Taehyung raises his voice just a bit, “It’s clear how you both feel—”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about man, plus I have a girlfriend now—”

“You guys are official now?” You walk up to the boys, cutting in. You feel like maybe he’s just saying that.

“y/n…yeah, we just made it official.” Jungkook admits, running a hand through his hair, sighing out in frustration.

Oh. You feel your heart begin to crumble. They’re dating for real now?

“Do you have feelings for her?” You blurt out.

Jungkook shifts from one foot to another, he breathes in and out in and out. He bites on his bottom lip, thinking of how to respond.

“I don’t know what to say to that.”

Well, at least he’s honest.

“Well, I’m going to head back to my friends…” Taehyung butts in awkwardly. “It was nice seeing you two.” And with that he’s slipping away in the crowd.

“Wanna dance?” you say, trying your best to change the subject. You decide you don’t want to know his answer.

“Sure.” Jungkook smiles at you, he reaches for your hand and you squeeze his tightly. You guide him to the dance floor, the song is a slow one. You two look at one another but there’s nothing awkward about this. He guides your arms to wrap around his neck and his hands circle around your waist, he pulls you in close as you two sway to the music.

“Never go 3 months without me again.” You whisper into his neck.

“W-Why are you bringing that up now?”

“I have to keep my eyes on you, Jungkook. Without my supervision you go off and get yourself a girlfriend.” Your drunken words pierce his heart.

“Is that a problem?” He whispers back. “Yes, a big problem.” You lean back to get a look at his face, he’s already staring down at you, he somehow brings you in even closer.

“Whys that?” He breathes out.

“Want you all for myself.” You admit, drunk words are sober thoughts right?

“You want me baby?” Jungkook leans down until he’s so close, like he cannot control it.

“Yes.” You blink up at him, your lips parted.

The song changes but you two continue to dance like it’s a slow song.

“I bet you $5 that some guy will hit on you in the next couple of minutes.”

You tilt your head and drunkenly giggle, “I highly doubt that.”

Jungkook reaches in his back pocket and hands you a five dollar bill.

“What’s this f—”

“You’re so fucking beautiful” and then his lips are just a mere inch away from yours before he’s pulling back with a look of horror and guilt plastered on his face.

“I—I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’m with Vanessa now. I’m just drunk. I’m really drunk. You’re really drunk. We don’t know what we’re doing.” He drunkenly rambles.

You feel your heart sink down into your lower belly, you feel it crack and break into a million pieces. That’s right. Vanessa. He’s making it work with that girl.

“Yeah, it’s okay.”

“You’re my best friend y/n.” Jungkook slurs out, “I’m trying so hard not to ruin that.”

You only nod your head.

“Let’s go home.” You say.

~~~~~~

Your bed is comfy as ever, especially this drunk. Jungkook takes his shirt off and slips into the sheets, settling next to you.

“Wanna cuddle?” he offers.

“I don’t know if Vanessa would like that.” You slur.

“Right.” Jungkook lays on his back, his arms folding beneath his head. “Should I sleep in the living room?”

“No. I want you here.” You admit between soft breaths. “I always want you here.” You yawn out.

“Good.” Jungkook reaches out to hold you, “I don’t think Vanessa will mind if I cuddle my best friend for just five minutes.”

“Five minutes only” you tease. You shuffle closer to him, his warmth escaping his body and clinging to yours.

You two fall asleep like this. Morning comes slowly, like the world is giving you a chance to really appreciate one another’s company. Like the world knows that moments like this are so hard to come by. Like the world knows that you two need this.

When you wake up the next day, its half past noon. You’re still in Jungkook’s arms while he is dead asleep. You nuzzle into his chest and thank the world for giving you this moment. This moment to embrace him like he is yours, a moment to kiss his cheek like he is yours, a moment to whisper you love him like he is yours.

But he isn’t. He isn’t yours and that’s the reality. But you thank the world nonetheless. Because you need these moments to stay sane. But how do you two always end up like this? Can you keep blaming the alcohol? He tried to kiss you last night and that’s also the reality.

Jungkook wanted to kiss you. Can he keep saying it’s just because he’s drunk?

But he’s with Vanessa now and you have to respect that. And you will respect that.

You thank the world though, that right now he’s in your arms, breathing your air, and sharing this moment. Just you and him.

Finally, after another half hour Jungkook begins to stir in his sleep.

You stare at him as he wakes up and his sleepy eyes find yours.

“G’morning.” His voice is low and raspy and you want to swoon.

“Hi.”

“We…” he looks between your bodies. “Didn’t do anything, right?”

You feel your chest tighten, “No, Jungkook.” You answer calmly.

“Okay…” Jungkook frowns, “We can’t keep doing this, can we?”

Somehow you know exactly what he’s talking about, you can’t keep building this tension between you two. It goes nowhere.

“No” You admit softly, “We can’t.”

You think about Jimin’s words…could Jungkook…? But you don’t want to jump to happy conclusions, put yourself out there and then be wrong. But he tried to fucking kiss you. The girls were right, is this really all for you? You can’t keep doing this. It’s not good for you. “We really can’t.” you say again.

Jungkook smiles, but its soft and sad and makes you want to kiss his pouting lips until he shows you a real smile but you can’t.

“I’m sorry about last night.” Jungkook moves to his back, he stares up at the ceiling.

“I was just really drunk.” He continues, “Drunk me is wild.” He chuckles awkwardly.

“Is that really an excuse anymore?” you feel brave enough to say.

“y/n…”

“Forget it. We’re okay.”

“Are we?” Jungkook moves back to his side, facing you. He gives you a troubled look and you melt. Why are you always melting because of this man?

“Yeah. What’s more important is that your birthday is next week…”

“Oh yeah.”

“Can I be in charge of your party?”

“I don’t want a party, just a couple of friends.”

“Let me host it!”

“Okay, fine.” Jungkook smiles, “I can’t wait.”

“Do I have to invite Vanessa?”

“y/n.” Jungkook groans.

“Kidding!” you sing. Although, you aren’t entirely sure that you’re just kidding.

“It would be nice if you could plan this with Vanessa actually…she mentioned wanting to do something nice for my birthday too.” He sort of whispers out, like he didn’t want you to actually hear.

“Oh.” You aren’t sure what to say. You obviously don’t want co-host a get together with Vanessa but she is his girlfriend after all.

“Fine.”

You and Vanessa? Let’s see how this goes.

[fangirlfics]

Westview p2 (Peter Maximoff x reader)

this is the funniest gif and you can’t change my mind 

summary: Peter explains Westview to y/n and attempts to bring her memory back

whenever I write Westview I find myself thinking I meant to write Westeros lol

word count: 1,470

“You’re telling me that Wanda, my best friend is mind controlling an entire town and gave me false memories?“ y/n asked the silver haired boy in front of her. “And they tell me I’m crazy...“

“I’m being serious.“ ‘Pietro’ tried, “you’re smart and you already know somethings off, right?“

“I’m sorry?“

“This-“ Peter gestured around the room before lowering his voice, “doesn’t feel right does it? It feels fake, staged. I know you feel it too-”

“I-” 

“And don’t say you don’t-I can tell when you’re lying, you scrunch up your nose.“

“How could you possibly know that? We’ve just met!“

Peter sighed “I have to figure out how to reverse this...I don’t look familiar to you at all?“ y/n shook her head.

“Ok..“ Peter stared at the girl "your favorite color is (insert color), your favorite ice cream flavor is (flavor) and your favorite song is (song name). You can control people with your mind when you touch them, but sometimes you do it on accident when you get emotional and your eyes turn purple and it scares some people but I’m not gonna lie I kinda like-.” 

“What are you talking about?” y/n asked, “that’s ridiculous! I-”

Peter didn’t listen as he continued further down his list. “We’ve been dating for two years but we’ve known each other for half of our lives, your middle name is-”

“Why do you know so much about me?“

“I told you I know you, your favorite book is-“

“Just stop..talking!“ y/n suddenly called out taking a step back-she felt a small surge of some feeling and suddenly Peter stopped talking, his mouth kept running but no noise escaped it. He put his hands to his mouth and y/n looked away-Peter began to talk again. 

“See you just-“

“You’re playing with me, cut it out!“   

“y/n I swear on my stash of twin-“

The back door opened and closed abruptly making the two adults flinch. “Sorry..” Wanda apologized making a cringed facial expression, “Agnes kept me there longer than I’d expect, you know her she’s such a gossss.ip..” She froze seeing how Peter was all up in y/n’s face. “Gee I’m gone for not even 10 minutes and you’re already all over her!” She walked up to the two, putting a hand on y/n’s shoulder to escort her out of the kitchen, “come on, don’t pay attention to Pietro or he’ll go chasing after you!” She turned to her ‘brother’ waving an accusing finger at him, “and you back off of my friend, she’s barely spent a day in this town.”

“What?” y/n asked, catching Wanda’s words quickly.

Wanda’s face fell but only for a moment because she soon was her smiling self again, “I said you’ve barely spent a day with him!” She laughed, “come on, let’s go get the boys and head out!”

From behind Wanda y/n noticed Peter gesture to his head then make a hand motion by wiggling his fingers around. 

 It felt like the day had moved on rather quickly, with the boys finishing their trick or treating and then Wanda disappearing then claiming to have never left, the walk back felt like the only normal part of the day. y/n hadn’t even seen Vision until she got back to Wanda’s house to drop off the costume she had lent her, he seemed like something had been bothering him and was in the kitchen while Wanda wasn’t home yet having continued to roam the neighborhood with her sons unlike y/n-who decided to call it a night.

She was just about to leave the house, having changed into a normal outfit when a random thought had crossed her mind. “Hey Vis-” she turned around, jumping at the sight of Wanda’s husband who was standing directly in front of her. Half her name had just came out of his mouth too as he froze. “Yeah?” She asked her friend’s husband.

“Terribly sorry,” he apologized, “but if I could just-” he reached his finger’s towards her face, making her furrow her eyebrows until his fingertips lightly touched her temples and suddenly everything came flooding back at once. 

She froze for a second before looking around the house to take in her surroundings, “where’s-what? I-” Vision watched her, not knowing how to respond to her increasing anxiety. “She was in my head..” She told Vison.

“Who was?”

“Wanda!” y/n looked around again, “she’s in everyone’s head, she’s controlling everyth-Peter! I have to find Peter! That’s why I’m here, that’s why I came-”

“y/n please calm down,” he reached out again to place his fingers against her temples once more and she put her hands up in defense,

“No! I’m not doing that again, your wife is crazy! Stay away from me!”

“I don’t understand, why would she take an entire town hostage?”

“Because she needs therapy of something, now I’ve got to go-”

“y/n-”

“Oh and one more thing...” y/n said looking Vision in the eyes, she took his forearm before adding in a hushed voice, “forget this conversation happened.” He blinked blankly before sitting down and reaching for the tv controller. “Well goodnight y/n, thank you again for accompanying Wanda and the kids.” He said as if nothing happened. 

“No problem.” y/n said with a fake smile before leaving the house, she was going to look for Peter. Closing the door she jumped once more at the sight of Wanda and her sons, “Wanda! I-”

“Oh you just dropped the costume off didn’t you?” Wanda asked enthusiastically, “thank you! I was just going to bed!”

“Yeah me too.” y/n lied, “all that walking really tired me out.” 

“Yes me too, well you should come over in the morning we’re making waffles!”

“Ok yeah, thank you.”

“Thank you, the boys loved your company and I did too!” Wanda smiled, “see you later!”    

“Yeah, later...“

After Wanda and the boys said their goodbyes and the door closed behind them y/n dashed across the grass, ready to get back to her ‘house’. From there she could look for her walkie talkie and look for Peter. A million thoughts were running through her mind on her way to her fake house. Where was Peter? Why wasn’t he with Wanda? Did something happen? How was she going to find him in this town? Would she still be able to contact Hank? She unlocked her door-pushing it open and letting it’s knob bang loudly against the wall. She was about to shut the door when a blue streak appeared with Peter in front of it, he was no longer in his Halloween costume-instead he was sporting the same look he had this morning. The only difference was that he didn’t appear as energetic-instead he looked worn and his eyes were sad-something that was quite unusual for the boy. 

“Look...” he said putting his hands in front of him, “just hear me out, ok I just realized that showing up at your house might come off as creepy but I promise I-” y/n quickly scanned the street area behind him before reaching for his arm and pulling him into her house-slamming the door shut. “Whoa, I did not expect-” 

“I remember!” y/n announced. “Vision-he did this weird-”   

“You remember me?“ Peter asked her, “what’s my favorite color?“

“Obviously silver.“

“Favorite band?“

“Pete, it’s me.“ She assured him, bringing her hands to his face. After realizing she was really back and without the fear of being unrecognized, Peter threw his arms around the girl, pulling her into the longest and tightest hug she had ever gotten.”Hey it’s me. I’m here.” y/n whispered, running her fingers through his hair.

“You have no idea how much you scared me.“ 

y/n backed up, her face softening even more at the sight of her loving boyfriend, “Peter why are you crying?“ She asked him, brushing her thumb over his newly escaped tear.

“Someone must be cutting onions...“ He joked, but y/n didn’t laugh. “I-I still don’t understand this whole illusion thing...“ he began to explain, still not letting go of y/n. “and I didn’t know if your memories were just being messed with or if you were brainwashed and I..“   

“What?“

“You didn’t even recognize me, it was like...you’re the most important thing in my life and you just looked right through me and I-“ he started getting choked up again, “I didn’t know if it was going to be permanent and you were just never going to remember me...“

“Oh Peter, no, of course not. I’m never forgetting you-not even the world’s most powerful mutant can make me forget you.“

“Didn’t seem like that.“ He laughed nervously.

“Peter, I’m here.“

[sassyfrassboss]

Observations and Comments

1. Did they shop at the same store before the show? Exact same shirts. Also, did I miss the Invictus Logo? Or was it just not there?

2. Harry moved there a year ago and this is the first time James got together with him?

3. Harry saying “We Royals carry cash.” I thought that was ONLY The Queen. 

4. The fact that Harry lived in London for 35 years and never toured it is asinine. 

5. High Tea REALLY made me crave scones and clotted cream and jam...like bad...

6. High Tea on the 405 with Harry - he seems really excited about that...lol “Get it on Netflix.”

7. I did laugh at the trolley falling over and James yelling at him to clean it up. 

8. The lady who owned the Fresh Prince house was SO excited and Harry telling James to come get him in 5 minutes if he wasn’t out was SO rude. 

9. Of COURSE Meghan was going to have a cameo. She just can’t resist being on camera. This was planned because her hair and makeup were done. Archie’s birthday video she looked like she had just rolled out of bed but a 30 second cameo on James Corden show she is done up. Shocking...plus she kept tilting her head so the her hair was covering her face. That camera was CLOSE as well. 

10. Meghan calls Harry “Haz.” So all the “Hazbeen Harry’s” are hilarious now. 

11. Harry calls Meghan “M” now.

12. Harry knowing Meghan was the “one” on the second date. The fact that he claims dating in the Royal family, that dates are at home dinners in the beginning because of the press, is ridiculous. Kate and William are still known to out on dates. We hear how the go to a local pup and she has a glass of wine and he has a beer. So I don’t buy that. They could have dated but she would have called the Paps...which I think he knows. She literally sought attention on her Instagram to try and hint she was dating him. Plus, wasn’t there something about how they would hang out at friend’s houses because they couldn’t go out in public? Lies again...

13. He plugs Netflix...James led him into that. Netflix is “loosely based on the truth...” Sure Charles LOVED that...Him saying what can come from putting duty above family is portrayed well in Netflix just tells me he sides with Netflix on this. 

14. He really has thought about who he would want to play him in Netflix. He had his answer ready to go! This guy is way too good looking to play Harry. Also, I thought he didn’t want The Crown to go that far? Changing his tune is he?

15. Again...really wanting clotted cream and scones...

16. Interesting how Harry only speaks to his grandmother and grandfather. But he does say “We Zoomed them a few times” which makes me think they don’t zoom as often as they make out in the press. 

17. Love how he mentioned Meghan makes organic waffles...lol how exactly does she do that? All ingredients are organic? Wow...welcome to the majority of the population who only buy organic. We don’t even think about it anymore at the grocery store. We just grab the organic brand. But he has to make a point a pint to mention “Meg” makes organic waffles.

18. Most 18 month old sing and put words together. Archie’s first word being “crocodile” is questionable. Guess Mama and Dada weren’t around enough for those to be his first words like most normal children. 

19. His life always being about public service and Meghan signed up for that life. Yeah so much so that you both quit in less than 2 years of marriage. 

20. The whole “British Press was destroying my mental health” is where my jaw dropped. He can thank his wife and her PR for that! Who does this guy think he is? 

The press writes articles on him justifiably criticizing his and his wife’s hypocrisy and THEY are damaging his mental health. His wife was shoveling out PR articles left and right weekly but the PRESS is to blame. 

Catherine had photos taken of her while she was TOPLESS on a private balcony. On the day they were released she was on Tour and she put a smile on her face and got on with her work. 

Did anything like that happen to Harry & Meghan? Nope...Did the press follow Meghan to the point she couldn’t walk down the street? Nope...

How dare they!? Kate was pursued relentlessly and she kept calm and carried on FOR YEAR! While these two whiners couldn’t have justifiable criticism of their own making for 22 months. 

21. I love it how he gestures with his arm in regards to his family about “Whatever they decide” to his future role as a royal. Like...those people over there...it was slightly condescending in my mind because he was like waving them off like they weren’t important.

22. Get your family out of the UK to come here to the US and give interviews and bus rides and Zoom calls. 

23. I thought this call was supposed to promote Invictus? They did the military exercise but nothing was said or promoted for Invictus. 

24. Harry definitely earned his paycheck for plugging Netflix on this though. Nothing about what he plans to do for his charities other than “continue to serve” but mentions Netflix and how it is loosely based on the truth...Charles must have cut him off...

25. Goodling recipes for scones and ordering clotted cream...

[coffintownkids]

I had the rare occurrence of having the house to myself for the entire day yesterday, which hasn’t happened since...last September maybe?

Which means I got to bang out translating all of Ch.34 while I was distraction-free!

This chapter had lots of fun moments with the junior disciples. To set the scene, WWX and LWJ come across the juniors in Coffin Town and the kids are freaked out by the sound of a bamboo pole drumming against the ground.

Long Post Ahead!

“That was It again…It really has been following us this whole time!”

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “It’s been following you?”

Lán Sīzhuī said, “After we entered the town, the fog was so heavy that we were worried about being separated. We gathered closer when suddenly, we could hear that noise. At the time, it wasn’t so fast. One sound after another rang our very slowly. Ahead in the white mist, we saw a hazy, short silhouette slowly walking by. We chased after it, but it disappeared. After that, the sound kept following us.”

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “How short was it?”

Lán Sīzhuī gestured around his own chest, “It was rather short and very petite.”

I guess that very technically counts as the first time Ā-Qìng gets described! She’s so little!!!

Jīn Líng said, “I knew I should have brought Fairy with me. This is all your damn donkey’s fault.”

Just hearing the dog’s name had chills running up Wèi Wúxiàn’s back while he listened to Lán Jǐngyí say, “We haven’t even blamed your dog! It bit first so Little Apple just kicked out at it. Whose fault is that? Anyway, now neither of them can move.”

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “What?! My Little Apple got bit by a dog?!”

Jīn Líng, “How can you compare that donkey to my Spirit Dog? Fairy was given to me by my xiǎo-shūshu. If something were to happen to it, 10,000 donkeys still wouldn’t be enough compensation!”

Wèi Wúxiàn started spouting nonsense, “Don’t rub Liǎnfang-Zūn in people’s faces. My Little Apple was also a mount given to me by Hánguāng-Jūn. How could you bring Little Apple down the mountain for a Night Hunt? You also let it get hurt?!”

All the junior House of Lán disciples spoke in unison, “Liar!” They would absolutely never believe that with Hánguāng-Jūn having such good taste, that he would give such a mount to someone. Even though Lán Wàngjī didn’t refute it, they firmly refused to believe it.

Ha! Ain’t nobody buying what WWX is selling. Also, JL refers to JGY as xiǎo-shūshu. It means that JGY is his father’s youngest brother (aka JL does not consider MXY to be his uncle, despite him also being his father’s half-brother and younger than JGY!) LSZ, however, is a good boy and explains the situation-the elders evicted Little Apple for being too noisy in Cloud Recesses :P

Jīn Líng also didn’t believe that he had been given the donkey by Lán Wàngjī, “I hate looking at that donkey. Why is it even called Little Apple? It’s so goddamn stupid!”

Lán Jǐngyí was still thinking about it. If it really had been given by Hánguāng-Jūn, then this wasn’t good and he promptly spoke up for it, “What’s wrong with Little Apple. It loves to eat apples, so it’s called Little Apple. It’s that simple. The name is miles better than you naming your fat dog Fairy.”

Jīn Líng, “How is Fairy fat?! Go ahead and try to find a Spirit Dog that’s in better shape…”

All of a sudden, there was absolute silence.

After some time, Wèi Wúxiàn said, “Is anybody here?”

From nearby came “uhhhhh” and “wahhhh” to indicate where they were. Lán Wàngjī coolly said, “They were causing a commotion.”

…He actually cast the Mute Spell on all of them at once. Wèi Wúxiàn couldn’t help touching his own lips and felt extremely lucky.

LWJ ain’t got time for your shit lol. I also continue to waffle with whether I’m calling it the “Mute Spell” or “Silence Spell” or “Gag Spell” etc etc etc. It’s another case of me being an overly nitpicky overthinker! I’ve mentioned it before, but I figured it’s worth sharing again that it’s written as 禁言. Very technically, it means “speech is banned/prohibited.” which ties into all of the Lán rules that also use 禁 when saying something is prohibited. I’ve been wanting to convey that, plus I’ve seen it used in a more modern sense to “mute” sound. Also 禁言令 is used as “gag order.” So, like, I know it’s one of those things that doesn’t need to be changed, yet here we are.

Naturally, here’s where some zombies show up. LWJ gets rid of a bunch, but...

Another House’s disciple said, “It looks like there’s more zombies!”

“Where is it? I didn’t hear any footsteps?”

“It sounded like strange breathing to me…” The young man realized how ridiculous that was once he finished saying it and shut up out of embarrassment. Another boy said, “I’m done with you. You heard them breathing. Zombies are dead. How could you possibly hear them breathing?”

Breathing, huh?

LWJ decapitates one and...its body spews out a bunch of powder! And then the gravedigger that tried to steal the torso earlier in the book shows up!!! So while he and LWJ start fighting, WWX starts freaking out.

The current situation did not allow for optimism. The gravedigger’s sword was shrouded in black mist, its sword aura couldn’t shine through it, and the white fog was keeping him quite well-hidden. The sword aura from Lán Wàngjī’s Bìchén, however, could not be blocked. He was the light and the enemy was the dark. His opponent’s cultivation was not lacking and the Lán Sect of Gūsū’s swordsmanship was well-known to him. On top of that, they were both fighting equally blind in the fog. He could do so without having any concern, while Lán Wàngjī had to be careful that he didn’t accidentally injury his own allies. It honestly put him at a major disadvantage. Wèi Wúxiàn heard the sounds of their blades a few times and his heart clenched. He blurted out, “Lán Zhàn? Are you injured?!”

There was a slightly muffled sound in the distance, as if someone had received a critical injury. However, it clearly wasn’t Lán Wàngjī’s voice.

Lán Wàngjī said, “Of course not.”

Wèi Wúxiàn smiled, “Of course!”

I love LWJ being pissy over the implication that some scrub could have the potential to injure him. Sorry, Sū Shè. You’re not qualified to injure him, either.

Since WWX isn’t needed there, he starts checking on the kids that inhaled the powder.

Wèi Wúxiàn went to Lán Jǐngyí and touched his forehead. He had a slight fever. He did the same for the others that had inhaled the powder that had gushed out of the zombies. They were in the same state. He lifted Lán Jǐngyí’s eyelids and said, “Stick out your tongue and let me take a look. Ahh.”

Lán Jǐngyí, “Ahh.”

Wèi Wúxiàn, “Okay. Congratulations, you’ve been hit with corpse poisoning.”

Jīn Líng, “How is that something worth being congratulated for?!”

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “Because it’s the sort of life experience that you’ll tell stories about when you’re older.”

Life advice according to WWX: get poisoned for the lulz.

Meanwhile, poor LSZ’s little heart can’t take this.

Lán Sīzhuī was worried sick, “Mò-gōngzǐ, will anything happen to them?”

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “They’ll be fine for now. However, if we wait for their blood to circulate through their bodies and reach their hearts, we won’t be able to help them.”

Lán Sīzhuī said, “What…what will that do?”

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “Whatever happens to corpses is what will happen to all of you. If you’re lucky, you’ll just rot badly. If you’re not, you’ll turn into a long-haired jiāngshī and from then on, you’ll only be able to get around by hopping.”

All of the poisoned disciples gasped at the same time.

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “Want to cure it?”

They all nodded at once. Wèi Wúxiàn said, “If you want it cured, listen well. From now on, you’re going to have to obediently listen to everything I tell you. Every one of you has to listen to me.”

WWX is so goddamn dramatic. I love it! Also, I think it’s the first mention of jiāngshī in the novel. Jiāngshī (僵尸) literally means “stiff corpse” and are a folktale creature in China. They’re something of a cross between a zombie and a vampire. The legend goes that because they’re dead and rigor mortis has set in, their bodies are stiff and rigid. Thus, they can’t bend their legs and can only move by hopping instead of walking. Since it’s a pretty Chinese-specific myth, I’m opting to leave the term untranslated.

WWX’s first order is for the healthy disciples to carry the poisoned ones. And, of course, despite them all agreeing to do what they’re told, LJY has something to say about it.

Lán Jǐngyí said, “I can walk. Why do I have to be carried?”

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “Gēgē, if you’re frolicking around, your blood will flow that much faster and that much harder, which means it will reach your heart that much faster. Therefore, you need to limit your movements. It would be best if you didn’t move at all.”

WWX sarcastically calling him gēgē sent me.

And then:

One of them being carried by someone from his sect muttered, “The zombie that just sprayed the poisoned powder really had been breathing.”

The boy carrying him was gasping for breath as he complained, “I already told you the one that was breathing had to be a live person.”

I’m sure that’s not foreshadowing anything terrible.

Meanwhile, LSZ does not complain and just asks what WWX would like them to do next.

The one that was the most well-behaved, most obedient, and made him worry the least was Lán Sīzhuī.

LSZ is the bestest boy!

Next, WWX does order them to go door-knocking. Keep in mind that they have yet to come across anyone in the town except zombies and the gravedigger.

Jīn Líng put in quite the effort and banged on the door for a long time, but no response came from inside, “It doesn’t seem like there’s anybody in there. We’re going in, right?”

Wèi Wúxiàn’s voice floated over from far away, “Who said you could go in when there’s nobody there? Keep knocking. We’ll go in a building that has someone occupying it.”

Jīn Líng said, “Are you still trying to find people?”

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “Yes. Knock properly. You were knocking too hard just now. Don’t be so rude.”

Jīn Líng was so angry that he nearly kicked the wooden door in. In the end, he nevertheless…relentlessly stomped his feet against the ground.

Each building on the main road all kept their doors firmly shut. No matter how much they knocked, they remained looming and unmoving. The more Jīn Líng knocked, the more jittery he became. But he was at least being a little more gentle about it.

JL really is his father’s rude-ass son!

They do eventually find a shop with a creepy old woman, though.

“Shopkeep, when we first arrived in your land, the fog was too thick and we lost our way. We’ve walked for quite a long time and have grown somewhat weary. Would it be possible for us to make use of your shop and rest for a while?”

The strange voice said, “My shop isn’t meant for people to use as a rest stop.”

Wèi Wúxiàn didn’t seem to find this all that out of the ordinary and his expression was the same as usual, “But there is no other shop around in this fine place that still has someone occupying it. Shopkeep, are you truly unwilling to make things easier for us? We’ll reward you handsomely.”

Jīn Líng couldn’t stop himself from saying, “Where did you get the money to reward them handsomely with? Let me be the first to tell you I won’t be lending you any.”

Wèi Wúxiàn shook the dainty little money pouch in front of his face, “Look. What is this?” Lán Jǐngyí was terribly alarmed, “You really have some nerve! That’s Hánguāng-Jūn’s!”

Ahhh...LJY continues to be scandalized on LWJ’s behalf.

Although the old lady was hunchbacked and seemed quite elderly at first glance, she actually didn’t really have any wrinkles or age spots. One could say that she could pass for middle-aged. She opened the door and stepped aside. It looked like she was willing to let them go inside.

It came as a major surprise to Jīn Líng and he softly said, “She’s actually really willing to let people inside?”

Wèi Wúxiàn also spoke softly, “Of course. I also stuck my foot in the doorway, so she can’t close the door even if she wanted to. If she wouldn’t let us in, I would have just kicked the door in.”

Jīn Líng, “……”

WWX: *also rude*

JL: *shocked Pikachu face*

[pillar--of--salt]

Hola! I know you’re probably tired of me lol

But ..... #170 for Nadine and Mike 👀🥺

170: “I know you told me to stop thinking about you, but I can’t get you out of my mind.” 

//

“So. Waffles?”

She huffed, and tried to kick start her brain and her body back into gear. Her head was killing her. “I have to get to work,” she muttered, and pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes. Of all the stupid...

Mike’s arm stretched across her body as he pointed. “Shower’s through there. Fresh towels are on the shelf behind the door.”

She forced herself to roll out of bed (like sleeping on a cloud, goddamn) and pad over to the bathroom, stark naked. She wasn’t in the habit of feeling self-conscious of her body, and apparently he’d already seen everything she had to offer anyway so she wasn’t bothered in the least. 

She could feel his eyes on her ass the whole way. 

“Coffee at least?” he called after her. “Or tea?”

“I have to get to work,” she repeated senselessly, and shut the bathroom door firmly behind her. 

Nadine felt much better after a hot shower and freshly brushed teeth (she’d used her finger because there was no way she was going to rifle through Mike’s things in search of an unopened toothbrush). When she emerged from the bathroom in a fluffy towel, the bedroom was empty. She was prepared to hunt around for her clothes from the night before, but it seemed there was no need. They were hanging up on the closet door, right in her line of sight so she couldn’t miss it. 

She put everything back on except her underwear, which she folded up and stuffed into her pocket as she tried not to think about the way Mike had taken them off her. Stupid. 

She wondered if he was going to gloat over this. If he’d hold it over her head or something. 

He hadn’t gloated last night, though. He’d been a little too busy for that.

Don’t think about it. 

Nadine remembered more or less everything that happened last night, from her first drink with the staff (that goddamn shot of Fireball, as if they were all college co-eds and not working professionals) to the final drink at last call (a glass of Macallan which Mike had bought her, insisting that the occasion warranted the extravagance), to the Uber back to his place and all the extracurricular activities that had followed. 

She didn’t remember who propositioned who, but she did remember making out with him in the back of the rideshare like a pair of horny teenagers. And she remembered following him into his bedroom, shedding clothes along the way and nearly tripping over her own slacks in their haste to get them off her body. She remembered the smell of his cologne, his sweat. She remembered him getting on his knees, dragging her underwear down...

Really don’t think about that. 

Nadine picked up her phone from the nightstand and ordered an Uber back to her condo, trying not to wince at the surge pricing. At least half of DC slept somewhere that wasn’t their own home last night, and it was evident in the number of people trying to find their way back in the cold light of day. At least the drivers were out in full force this morning. 

Ten minutes. 

She scooped up her jewelry from the bedside table and put it all back on before leaving the bedroom she had no intention of ever seeing again. 

Nadine went downstairs and took one wrong turn and had to backtrack before she found her way to the living room. She looked through to the kitchen, where Mike was busying himself with what looked like a much more elaborate breakfast than any normal person had on a weekday. He was wrapped in a blue bathrobe and his hair no longer stuck out in ten directions. 

She made her way over cautiously, and he looked up at the sound of her footsteps. “Can you stay for breakfast? I have coffee, waffles, eggs, fresh fruit.”

“No, I’m already running behind.” She glanced nervously at her watch. “I just called a ride. I have to go home and change, and there’s something brewing in Iran...” 

“Okay,” he said easily. He reached for a travel mug that sat on the counter and walked it over to her, pressing it into her hands. Like he’d  been expecting her to run out on him at her first opportunity. “Black coffee. I know you prefer tea, but this will put you back together again after a night full of debauchery.” He grinned, looking boyish and naughty and gleeful. “How’s your head?”

“Never had any complaints,” she muttered. The quip came automatically, was out before she even had a chance to police it and when Mike’s grin only became wider, she regretted saying it. 

“If your performance last night was any measure, then no, I don’t imagine you would,” he said. She could tell from his face that he was recalling the moment with relish. “God, I think—”

“Do not finish that sentence,” she warned him. 

It didn’t deter his smile at all, though he did drop the subject. “Need any Advil?” he asked instead. 

“I’ll be fine.” She checked her driver’s status on her phone and then, remembering her manners again, added, “Thank you.” Her driver was two minutes away. 

“Can we do this again sometime?”

“Absolutely not.”

“If you ever change your mind...”

“Never going to happen.”

“I’m just saying—“

“Forget it, Mike.”

“I don’t think I’d be able to forget it if I tried,” he said. Oh, he was teasing her now. 

She glared at him. A lesser man would have withered on the spot, but Mike barely even blinked. “Try harder,” she quipped. Her phone chimed, saving them both. “My Uber is here.”

He pointed to her shoes, which she remembered kicking off last night on their blind stumble through the living room. They were now lined up neatly against the baseboard. 

As she slipped into her shoes and slung her handbag over one shoulder, Mike switched tactics. “Can I bring you lunch today?”

“I already have lunch plans.” She smiled at him, false and sweet. “Thanks for the company last night.” She slipped out the door before he could try another approach. 

/

The first time he called her, she watched the phone ring without picking it up. She listened to the voicemail almost immediately, though. 

“Hey, it’s Mike. Listen, uh, I know you told me to stop thinking about you, but I can’t get you out of my mind.” He chuckled dryly and it sounded... nervous? 

Nadine shook her head. The notion was ridiculous—Mike B didn’t get nervous. 

“Anyway, uh, call me back when you get this. I’d love to hear from you. ...Bye.”

Sighing, she pulled the phone away from her ear. She stared at the voicemail recording for a hesitant moment, then deleted it.

He wasn’t her type, anyway. 

[survey--s]

40.

1) When was the last time you walked more than five miles? How come you did it? Last Friday for my last day at work. 2) Do you ever get blisters in really unusual and/or painful places? I tend to get them on my heels or underneath my toes. I don’t know if either of those places would be considered unusual, though?

3) Is it too hot not to have AC where you live, or could you/do you cope without it? It would be nice to have it sometimes, but life is perfectly manageable without it. I certainly wouldn’t rush to go out and get an AC unit above other things. 4) What book are you reading right now? Would you recommend it? Alice by Christina Henry and yes, I would absolutely recommend it. It’s like a dark twist on Alice in Wonderland and it’s really good so far. I love it. 5) What was the last flavour of ice-cream you had? Raspberry sorbet.

6) What did you order the last time you went out for dinner? Does McDonald’s count as going out to dinner? I had chicken nuggets, fries, cheese dippers and an apple pie. 7) Do you prefer listening to music or watching television when filling out surveys? Watching TV for the most part. I only tend to listen to music when I’m driving these days. 8) Do you struggle to sleep if your room is too hot or cold? Yes, most definitely. 9) If you eat breakfast, what’s your favourite thing to eat? If not, why not? I normally just have croissants or a piece of toast as I don’t have much appetite in the mornings, but during the holidays I’ll have things like waffles or bacon sandwiches etc. 10) Would you ever want to run a marathon, or does it just seem like too much effort? Nah, I’ve never ever seen the appeal of running - it’s just far too much effort lol.

11) Who is you favourite character on “Scrubs”? (if you watch it, that is). The Janitor, Dr Cox and Dr Kelso. 12) Have you been watching the World Cup this year? I did watch some of it the last time when it was on, yeah. 13) How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. 14) What’s one thing your parents do that really gets on your nerves? My mum often picks at little things like my eyebrows or my hair...she means well but it’s just really annoying, lol. My dad is just really hard to make conversation with and if it’s not something he’s interested in, he’ll just say nothing. 15) Do you think you could ever become a vegan? I mean, if I had no choice due to allergies, I could do it, but I certainly wouldn’t ever choose to do it voluntarily. 16) Do you have a certain routine that you do whenever you do your hair? No, not really. It depends on how I’m going to style it and what the weather is like and all that. 17) Are you one of those people who is constantly glued to their phones? Ha, pretty much, but I use my phone for my business, reading, the internet, gaming and chatting. Like most people, my life is on my phone.

18) If someone gave you £10,000 tomorrow, but you had to spend it within 24 hours, or you’d lose it all, what would you buy? A load of groceries that could be stored for months (tins and stuff), pet food and supplies (again, that could be stored), stock for my business and I’d spend some of it on a fancy holiday too. 19) Do you watch Wimbledon? If so, who’s your favourite tennis player? Sometimes, yeah. I like Roger Federer. 20) Do you drink as much water as you should? I can’t remember the last time I drank plain water. 21) I read somewhere that you can get bacon cheeseburgers in a glazed donut, instead of in regular burger buns. Would you ever eat something like that? I’d try like, a bite of someone else’s but I wouldn’t buy one for myself. 22) Have you ever gone to any ridiculous extremes to lose (or gain) weight? No, I don’t think so. 23) When’s the last time someone told you off for something? I honestly don’t remember. 24) What do you eat when you get late-night cravings? It depends on what the cravings are, but normally cereal or toast. 25) How often do you eat fast-food? Once a fortnight or so. 26) Do you use hairspray on your hair once you’ve styled it? I use mousse if I’m going to be leaving it curly. 27) Do you ever buy albums anymore, or do you just think it’s too expensive/too much hassle? No, I just use Spotify for all my music. 28) What’s your favourite television show that’s still being made? The Simpsons. 29) Do you ever get really hot feet at night? Yeah, even in the depths of winter. 30) Does anyone in your immediate family have any habits that worry you at all? Yeah, my dad has orthorexia which is an obsession with healthy eating to the point where it’s unhealthy. It really worries me sometimes.

[1zashreena1]

I Am Having a Sad -9

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary: Princess has a bad and lonely self-esteem day. Diego goes too far too fast from 2500 miles away and she calls her safeword for the first time in her life. 

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

FEELS. the L word, SAFEWORD, depression/anxiety, self-esteem issues, sensory processing issues, sel-expression difficulties, plus size woman+fit man, soft!Diego,  overwhelmed Princess, is a relationship happening?? apparently. Leftover high school Spanish.

A/N:  Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic​​​​ @symbiont13​​​​ @nicke0115​​​​ @bunnykjm​​​​ @rosee-sensuelle​​​​ @girlpornparadise​​​​ @mandoplease​​​​ @heresathreebee​​​​ @xxsteph-enrixx​​​​ @jetiikad​​​​ @joalsglasses​​​​ @mutantcookiesecrets​​​​ @demoncatstone​​​​ @squidlywiddly87​​​​ @lockedoutofmyotherblog​​​ @poeedamerons​​

I am having a sad. This is normal and okay. I just have to wait it out. I do not need to text him. This pep talk would be more effective if you would stop staring longingly at the last selfie he sent you.

It isn't working. All you want right now is to be smothered in Diego but he is in a different time zone. And you don't want to be clingy. And demanding. And needy.

Surely making yesterday's selfie your new lock screen will help, right? 

With a big sigh you flop backwards into your bed. You eye your phone like it's a live grenade. It hasn't even been eight hours since the last text and. And you have this… pain? In your chest? What if I'm annoying him?

He has to be super busy, I should just wait. What time even is it in LA right now?

You snatch up the phone and check. 7:46 pm PDT. You wonder what he ate today. Did he have dinner yet? What shirt is he wearing? Does he have a headache? He always says he has a headache when he gets back to New York. And then you rub his head, stroke through his soft hair, stretch out his solid neck, break up all the adhesions in those broad shoulders.

Bitch, this is not helping. What do you hate about him?

Oh yeah, that list is blank.

You open up the text conversation and stare at the blinking cursor. Just one text can't hurt, right?

You look at the selfie again. He's in bed, deep plum sheet tucked up under his chin, all sleepy chocolate eyes and a soft little smile. His face is relaxed, leaning against his left hand. His beard is ruffled on one side, flattened on the other from where he must have slept on it. You can feel tears welling up again. 

How the fuck is he so gorgeous? Why is someone who looks like that sending me selfies? I have no right to this. I don't deserve this. 

You reach out and trace one finger down his cheek. His right dimple is visible under the stubble. Minimizing the picture, you go back to the cursor. The screen is blurry until you blink and one tear slips out. 

You type out one hasty 'hey' and hit send before you can quadruple guess yourself. This is stupid. He's too busy for your little drama queen hissy fit meltdown.

Sorry, should've asked if you're busy first 

Send.

Enough time passes that you flip the phone screen-down and plop it on your heaving chest. You bring both hands to your face and press into your closed eyelids. Just as you reach back down with a huge sigh the phone vibrates.

Princessssss. You know I'm never busy to you

You choke out a sob-laugh and try to breathe normally. Okay, now a decision. Idle chatter or metric fuckton of feels? While you waffle about it, Diego initiates a videocall. Oh, hell no. You jab 'Decline' so hard it bends your nail back.

What is wrong? Why can't I see you?

I just look like shit rn. Please don't 

That has never been true. Mi princesa bonita

Always quick with the compliments. You sniffle.

I just. I guess I just miss you. Tonight

Perfect, you hit send before could have deleted it. Great job. Wonderful. Brilliant. 

Is everything ok? This does not sound like sexytimes

Oh, Diego. 

Yeah, I'm fine. Mostly. I mean nothing is wrong, its just me

Just me having feels

… should you have sent that? Probably not. Do you regret it? Yes, instantly. In fact, if preemptive regret were possible you would already have drowned in it.

The phone is quiet for a minute. Good job dumbass, now he IS annoyed.

What kind? Sad feels? Headache feels? Work is stupid and frustrating feels? Huffy feels that require cheese? You have many feels. At all times. It sounds exhausting 

Yep. I'm annoying and clingy. You chastise yourself rather effectively.

You're right. Sorry. I got this

Does that sound bitchy? Is it bitchy? Oh my god, I need an off button.

Nonono. I asked. You have to answer. Its a rule

Your laugh is sharp. 

Since when do you care about rules lol

When they're your rules. We agreed to answer direct questions honestly, yes?

Well fuck. He got you there. You had agreed to that. When you two sat down in your living room after the Emotional Spanking*™ and had a 'groundframe setup' discussion. Sometimes you were fairly certain he mangled phrases just to watch your eye twitch violently. Little shit. 

OK fine. I'm feeling shitty about myself.  Happy??

Now that is bitchy. 

FORBIDDEN

And no, that does not please Diego

And is that why I exist? To please you??? 

Before you can stop it, your temper flares.

No Princess. The other way. Let me please you

Oh no. Oh shit. What. Is. Happening?? You are royally fucked now. This entire conversation has gone so completely off the rails that you can't even define a 'train'. Those little bouncing dots have not stopped yet.

Should I tell you how I miss you? How these stupid meetings and these stupid people and my stupid sister bore me when I would rather be listening to you read a dictionary? Or sing every word to every song ever played on the radio? Or explain the differences between cat breeds?

Or maybe I could say how ridiculously empty this bed is with only me in it. How there are no tiny socks hidden under the comforter. Not a single lip balm in sight.

Perhaps you need a list of everything I would touch. The soft lips. A little bitty hand. That tiny ribcage. Those thick thighs. With my beard, ofc. Your forehead with mine?

Oh. Ohh. Oh no. This is not fair. This is an attack. How did he just break me like this? Your face is flushed and you are crying outright now. You have to stop this right now.

Stop.stop please. Diego no

Diego yessss 

You can't take anymore. This isn't funny. You can't even form words. When autocorrect suggests the picture of a pineapple you stab it and then hit send in rapid succession.

Pinnaea🍍🍍

………………………...

Your phone emits one aborted ring then it cuts off.

Can I call? Please

You're trying to figure out a way to calm yourself, to stifle the heaving gasps and whiny sobs. You're nodding. Not useful, idiot, you scold yourself.

No video. Just talk. Please Princess

You can't say no to that when he is trying so hard. 

Ok yeah 

You barely see the message load on the screen when the ringing starts up again. Smacking the green button entirely too hard, you hold your breath to stop the pitiful sounds.

"Princess?" His voice is cautious, tone soft.

"I'm h-here." Is all you can manage. Any more and you'll burst into sobs again.

"Are you in bed?" Keeping it short and precise. Yes or no answers. Nothing too demanding. 

"Yeah. S-s-sitting." He is being so sweet. How is someone like Diego so sweet to you. Something rustles in the background. 

"What was it? A specific word? Or just too much?" His voice is hushed, like he might be in a small room…

"Are… are you in a c-c-closet?" Is he really…? You hold your breath.

"Si. Your closet is too small. I was going to send you a picture." He answers.

You absolutely cannot deal with this man. 

"Baby, I--" Your stupid soprano voice gives away how emotional you really are. He was going to send you a picture of a closet big enough for you to hide. Probably a panoramic shot so you could fully visualize it. Your chest compresses and you gasp.

"Princess? Talk. Make a noise. Something!" He sounds panicked. You suddenly remember he can't read your face this way. He can't see your pleased smile.

"That's. That's just. Diego, I love you so much." Its out before you can stop it. Even though you know he can't see it, you still hide your face.

"Love." He breathes softly into the phone. "Tell Diego what you need, my good little girl." His voice is quiet, controlled. He is letting you lead him where you want him. Everywhere. Forever.

You feel safe enough to actually confess, "I just have a, a really hard time believing… all of. That." You wave your hand in the air vaguely. "Not that you're lying!" You rush to clarify. "Just that anyone could actually like, well seems to, at least, everything…?"

"Did that make any sense?" You chew your lip anxiously.

His soft chuckle makes your stomach flip. "Well, it was technically English." Your snort sends him into quiet giggles.

"I like hearing you laugh." You whisper. He goes silent. You tense up.

"Perfect little princess. No one has ever told me that before. Most people are frightened of my laugh." He seems a little bewildered by his own words. Like he didn't mean for that to come out but now he definitely wants to hear the reaction.

You cover your smile, then pick up the phone so you can lie down. "Apparently I'm not most people." You feel around blindly until you locate TMP (Tiny Murder Panther) and tuck the stuffed animal under your chin for cuddles. "I like your voice, too. Like when you talk to me. Sometimes its just the words. Or rather my ingesting of them of that trips me up." Your quiet sniffle is hidden in silky black fur.

"The words are the problem? Do I need a, a…. The book with words that all mean the same thing." He bites out.

Sometimes you forget that English is his second language. Then things like this happen. And its fucking adorable.

"Thesaurus. Synonyms, baby." Your smile is audible.

"I know!" He huffs in mock indignation.

"I know you know. That's cute, though."

"So are your little 'aqui's and 'si's and 'ahora's."

"Fine! Gawd!" 

You both dissolve into laughter. It fades into easy silence while you rub your cheek over faux fur. 

He sighs gently into the phone. "Was it the forehead touching?" His voice trembles a bit, like he is unsure that he should have asked. As though afraid. A little overwhelmed, just like you.

"Um. Yes. Actually. That was. Yeah, that did it." You blink back tears. "We have a thing. We're a 'we'."

"That is what you want, yes?" Diego sounds cautious. As if he might accidentally utter an irreversible spell or something. Then, a quiet whisper, "It's what I want."

You suck in a deep breath and decide to just force it out. Just take what you desire. Jump already.

"I want you. I don't think a typical, um, relationship would work. But, people can define themselves. Relationships should operate the same way."

That… that actually sounded decisive and authoritative. Wow. You're really that bitch tonight, huh? You are very pleased with yourself. You can hear something sliding against the phone but can't identify the sound.

"There she is." The wide smile in his voice stabs directly into your heart. It was his beard rubbing the phone when he smiled. You laugh with his approval, pleasure burning through your veins.

"Maybe I can write some stuff down. For discussion purposes. Maybe you can write some stuff down for me. Reading it makes it seem more real to me."

"If that is your royal decree, Princess." He shuffles around, you can hear clothing rustling.

"Do you really like finding my orphan socks?" Your voice is sly, like a kid springing a trap question. He likes that smirky tone and you know it.

"They are cute. Just like the tiny feet. You are so very little, Princess." Oh, but he knows exactly how to flip the trap back onto you. The sound of muffled tapping comes through the line. "Tiny feet. Added to the list." His voice echoes the smallest bit, he must have you on speaker so he can access the note app. "Next item: fat ass."

You explode into guffaws. "Damnit Diego!" Your wheezing almost drowns out his husky laughter. 

"Wait! I almost forgot! Fan-tasss-tic. Rrrrack." He sounds out the words as he types them. You lose vocal control again, giggling like a child. Logically you know these juvenile jokes shouldn't be this amusing, but clearly you both have the same maturity level.

"Baby, you are my favorite pervert." Your declaration is met with haughtiness. 

"I had better be your only pervert, Princess." The possessive tone straightens your spine with shock. "You are mine!" He growls fiercely. 

Everything is quiet for a very long minute. You seem to have consumed every butterfly, hot sauce, and poprocks-and-cola mixture on the planet when you weren't paying attention. 

You think about all the gifts. Designer purses, specially tailored clothing, the six pairs of redbottoms you now own, how the last ring he gave you still twinkles up at you from your right hand (he took great pleasure in ensuring it fit your middle finger so you can still be pretty while you flip him off).

You remember all the places he has taken you. The Michelin starred restaurants, that hole-in-the-wall Mexican place where they know him by first name is your favorite, the stupid stores he wanders through with you, the cheesy tourist traps where he always gets you a hideously clichéd souvenir. 

Your memory flashes through a slide show of his laughter. Gleeful giggles at your horrified reaction to the neon orange lipstick he presented in Sephora. His wheezing delight when you gagged on the seaweed appetizer he shoveled into your mouth before you could object. The gentle, knowing chuckle when you pulled TMP out of your bag to take a nap two weekends ago.

You realize he is entirely correct.

"Yes I am, Diego." Is your quiet confirmation. 

"Bicki. I." He seems startled. You stay silent and let him gather his thoughts. The swallow is audible before he continues hesitantly, "I will see you this weekend, mi amor?"

All the ways this man says 'I love you' are so many more than just the actual words. Your pleased smile stretches your cheeks so far it hurts.

"Yes please!" Your shameless request ends in a yawn. "Sorry." 

"You need to sleep for work, Princess. I have one last meeting here then I will be there tomorrow." 

You wish he was here now but keep that to yourself. 

"OK, let me know when you're here." 

I am so not wearing panties under that new maxidress for the flight up and demanding that he pick me up personally. Yes. A perfect plan. You amuse even yourself with your scheming.

"Be careful tonight, Diego. I want you to come home to me." The thought of anything happening to him crushes your throat.

"I, I want that, too. Love you." All comes tumbling out of him in a rushed confession of quiet hopefulness. It makes you so happy that tears well up again. Fucking stop this, woman.

"Love you. Bye, baby." You whisper warmly, hoping he can feel even an ounce of how deliriously happy he makes you.

"Goodnight, Princess." The reply is sighed, full of self-conscious relief and pleasure. His rough voice is so calm and soothing that you nod off before the line disconnects, face tucked into his miniature proxy.

…………………………...

Incoming text

Friday 12:09am

From: Murder Panther

🥰💋💟💯🔜

[sysig]

Requestober: Vargas Edition

Day 3. I really liked Edgar’s face, clearly. It’s too bad I couldn’t draw Scriabin right behind him for the final version since Edgar was sitting but at least I got to draw it here. They’re both a bit catlike!

Bonk ✨

My original idea(s) for Day 6′s “Fluff” theme kept turning out silly instead of fluffy so I had to scrap them, so have a concept version of Scriabin picking on Edgar by calling him a teratophile lol (He’s referring to himself of course)

So many notes lol, I do still want to redo this one, I can’t let go of how much I like the hand positioning, somehow using a prop made it more dynamic, who’d’ve thought haha

And then what I finally settled on for Fluff. I had to move Scriabin back a good bit for the digital sketch to better see Todd, always so center-frame ♥

My only sketch note for this one was two arrows pointing towards both of them and just “closer” - Walk closer! They are in the digital version so I’m happy. I had to consider how to include Shmee too, since Todd was there. I felt like Scriabin wouldn’t want to hold him directly haha

Day 23, cute costume time!! I grabbed details from a few different sources before settling on anything, and it was so fun to draw pirate stuff again ♪ I wasn’t expecting to get so emotionally invested in the ninja costume but drawing a gi top made me feel so nostalgic, ah. I also forgot which side laid over which until I mimed putting mine on and realized I’d drawn it wrong - my references lied to me! I still ended up getting it wrong in the final version lol, just chalk it up to a cheap costume. What belt would Edgar have, hmm...

Basically all my notes are just iterations of “cute” lol. I was planning on adding toy weapons to the final version and then I forgot lol. I liked the idea of him showing off, tiny happies ♪

The sketch that would become the final version! I wasn’t having the best drawing day so I knew I wanted to change Scriabin’s pose a good bit but getting anything down to paper to use as a base was the real goal here lol. The pumpkin originally had a little pressed-in jack-o-lantern face, I used to have one of those ♪

Even after I drew the final version I still wanted to draw them being cute hehe. Scriabin’s just like “More candy for me thx.” How many Oos and Aas do you suppose they got dressed so? The cutest kids

And then right into Diaryfic for Day 24! Yay. His arm did originally say “Scriabin” but I scratched it out a little too much and it just looks like messy crosshatching now lol. I was intending to go quite ambitious for this one and try to make a storyboard, and then I realized that if I wanted to post it anytime close to the date, I had to skip out this time :’D A lot changed between the sketch and the final version anyway, so even if I didn’t get to do that, I’m glad I spent my time polishing it. And I did get to do a little bit of animation!

Day 29. I haven’t drawn Johnny seriously since like, 2013 lol. I did forget that his shirt was fun to draw! Flap flap. I kinda just let my pencil loose to try and get some of the energy that these three in one room would generate lol. I quite liked how much motion ended up in their hair, stress floofs!

Ah yes, the Draw The Squad. I waffled on this one for-approximately-ever, not least of all trying to figure out which would be which in the main duo, who would give either of them a low five?? Each of them has a note-title, the first one being “Is literally anyone in the story happy about this??” and the second’s “Congrats for growing a pair lol” Honestly I even considered Shmee being the third wheel since at least he can see just how many concessions they’d have to make to get to that point, but it was too ridiculous lol

Day 31′s prompt was “Edgar and Scriabin holding each other and/or kissing” and like - you can’t encourage me like that, I have negative control when it comes to them being sweet to each other, as evidenced, to the point where I didn’t even use any of these, I made all of these based on the prompt and it still wasn’t enough! Lol. The first set was just my brain running away with the thought of if Edgar could comfortably initiate a kiss, he tends to channel his nervousness into aggression so what if he was feeling calm? A big ask lol. I didn’t mean to make the last one so sensual but I’m not mad about it so lol. The sleepy one was specifically inspired by the final scene from You Can’t Live Like This, I love that one ♥

Since you asked you didn’t here’s a doodle from my other notebook from when the tenderness just took over for a bit, completely unrelated, just yet more proof of not being able to stop myself lol

And that’s all the Vargas Requests! :D I had fun with them!

[etherealwaifgoddess]

Maybe I Am? - Chpt.2

Characters: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Steve takes a risk and the guys go out on a “date”. Master list HERE

Content Warning: first “date” cuteness, making out 

Word Count: 2.5k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! Today is one of those days where I am eternally grateful for having a “draft” option. Because honestly, ya girl is exhausted. So yay for drafts! Enjoy chapter two. I’m honestly too tired to give ya’ll a better note right now. :-\   XOXO - Ash

Chapter Two

Steeeeve [9:32:08PM]: Hey, it’s Steve.

Bucky Barnes [9:32:47PM]: hi steve

Steeeeve [9:33:15PM]: I had a lot of fun meeting up today.

Bucky Barnes [9:33:39PM]: me 2

Steve huffed staring at Bucky’s second generic response. He was usually so much more lively. Steve took a long sigh and started texting what he needed to get off his chest.

Steeeeve [9:35:21PM]: I’m sorry if I came off as confused or misleading. 

Steeeeve [9:35:26PM]: I didn’t mean to do that. But I am kind of confused right now. 

Steeeeve [9:35:35PM]: I spent so much time liking the idea of you, and you in real life was even more amazing than I could have expected. But I’ve never dated a guy before and I never expected to want to. And now I think I do. 

Steeeeve [9:35:49PM]: I’m sorry. This probably isn’t any less confusing. I’m apparently really bad at this lol. I guess what I’m trying to say is, will you go out on a maybe-date with me? I want to try and see how I feel. I don’t want to string you on, but I want to try.

Bucky stared at the flurry of texts coming into his phone. Damn, serial texter much? He read and re-read Steve texts a few times, chewing nervously his bottom lip, trying to find a response. He wasn’t willing to let his heart get trample on again, not after Brock. But he really liked Steve and if there was a chance Steve might like him too, it was too good to pass up. He had a distinct feeling he was going to regret it, but he tapped out the only honest response he could think of.

Bucky Barnes [9:44:13PM]: i like u 2 steve. i get that ur confused. lets try ur maybe-date and see how it goes? if it goes well cool, if not no hard feelings. k?

Steeeeve [9:45:20PM]: Thank you. Really, thank you for being so great about this. Can we get dinner one night this week? 

Bucky Barnes [9:45:55PM]: im free any nite but tues

Steeeeve [9:46:10PM]: I can do Friday night around 7. There’s a really great Mexican place a few blocks over from the gym if you’re willing to schelp all the way over to Park Slope. 

Bucky Barnes [9:46:31PM]: sounds good. see u then

Bucky sighed, putting his phone away into the pocket of his favorite old hoodie. He had a date. A maybe-date, but for some reason that felt good enough for him at the moment.

xxXxx

Steve discovered the best part of being able to text Bucky wasn’t just that their chatting was no longer limited to when they were both near a computer, but that they now had a full range of emojis, memes, and GIFs at their disposal. He could now send Bucky random funny things he found during the day and he felt a little proud when Bucky would send back a string of laughing emojis, knowing he had brightened the other man’s day a little. He had worried with their maybe-date looming things might be a little awkward but if anything they were going even better. By the time Friday came Steve was genuinely looking forward to their maybe-date. He had even gone out on Wednesday before his shift at the gym to pick up a set of clothes that were distinctly not gym wear. He couldn’t remember the last time he bought a button up shirt but he had to admit the blue and white checked shirt looked nice on him. He was trying not to stress over the maybe-date but he felt this gnawing need to know, definitively, if he was truly interested in Bucky, or just the fantasy of WinterBae. 

Steve raced home Friday to shower and change, hoping he’d left himself enough time to do all that and still make it over to Los Aztecas in time. Taking the time to slick back his hair and do a quick shave, Steve was hustling out the door only to realize he’d forgotten the bottle of wine once he got outside. After a fast double back for the wine he was on his way, making it to the tiny authentic Mexican restaurant with three minutes to spare. He had barely stopped walking when he saw Bucky hopping out of an uber. Steve felt a little flutter at the sight of Bucky and he took it as a good sign. 

Bucky looked amazing in his dark skinny jeans and a silky looking black shirt. A minimalist necklace was around his throat, the simple bar resting just below the wings of his collarbones. Steve noticed Bucky had swapped out the cheery beaded bracelets he’d worn on Sunday for a set of sleek silver and leather ones. He looked like he belonged on the cover of a fashion magazine and Steve felt ridiculous in what Sam had teased was his bible salesman outfit. 

“Heya.” Bucky greeted warmly, extending an arm for a half hug.

“Hey,” Steve echoed, hugging back with his free hand. “Ready for the best Mexican food of your life?” 

“Definitely, let’s go.” 

Steve led Bucky inside the little restaurant, its cozy decor making the place feel intimate instead of cramped. Steve had called ahead for reservations so they were whisked off to a table as soon as he gave the concierge his name. Bucky was looking around fascinated, taking in all the colorful decorations. 

“It’s really something, huh?” Steve prompted with a smile.

Bucky nodded in agreement, “Yeah, it’s beautiful. So much art packed into so little space. Thanks for bringing me here, Steve.” 

“It’s one of my favorite places in the area, mostly for the tacos but also for the art. I got my degree in fine art before I switched gears and went back to get certified in exercise science.” 

“That’s quite a switch.” Bucky laughed.

“Art will always be my first love, but it’s not exactly profitable. And once I got healthier I knew I wanted to help other people do the same. I was really sick as a kid and didn’t hit any major growth spurts until I was almost 21. After that, I worked out a lot getting used to my new body and fell in love with the gym.” 

“Wow. I’m glad you were able to get healthier, and it’s sweet you’re trying to give back to others with that.” 

“Do you go to a gym? I won’t be offended that it’s a competitor, I swear.”  

Bucky barked out a laugh, “No. God, no. I am perfectly happy with not having abs or a totally flat stomach as long as waffles exist.” 

Steve couldn’t help his eyes dropping to Bucky’s stomach which honestly couldn’t have had more than the smallest layer of padding across it. “That’s okay too. Waffles are pretty great.” 

The waitress stopped by to uncork their wine and drop off a basket of fresh tortilla chips and salsa verde. 

“What did you bring?” Bucky asked as he took the glass of white wine Steve had poured him.

“Albariño. A waitress here recommended it a few years ago and now it’s my go to. It’s light and crisp, and kinda citrusy? I’m not a wine snob but it’s damn good and goes really well with tacos. I hope you like white wine, I forgot to ask.” 

“I’ve yet to meet a white wine I didn’t like, so you’re safe.” Bucky sipped the wine and his eyes lit up, “Oh yeah, this is good. I’ll be hunting this down next time I go shopping.” 

“You can get it over at the little wine boutique near the farmers market in Sunset Park. They always have this kind.”

“Nice, I’ll have to check it out. My sister will love this the next time she visits.” 

The conversation flowed as the basket of tortilla chips disappeared, only ebbing when their platters arrived and they tucked into their food. Steve had ordered his usual taco platter while Bucky opted for the taquitos platter, an assortment of slow roasted meats wrapped in thin crispy shells. He let out a groan at his first bite that had Steve’s heart stuttering in his chest. The maybe-date had mostly felt like a friend-date up until that point, though Steve had to admit there was a tiny flutter of like there too. But the noise Bucky made and the expression on his face had Steve thinking anything but friends only thoughts. 

Bucky caught Steve staring at him as he licked a dribble of sauce off his bottom lip. He hadn’t gotten a distinct date-date vibe from Steve but the look on the blonde’s face was priceless. Bucky thought he probably had made a similar one the first time he saw Devon Sawa in Wild America when he was 12. He had never stood a chance of being straight after that. Testing the waters a little bit, Bucky smirked at Steve, making it abundantly clear he’d been caught staring. Steve flushed and Bucky’s smile widened. There might be hope after all.

Steve wasn’t sure if it was the wine or too many tacos but by the time dinner was over he felt glued to his seat. He hated knowing the evening was coming to an end and wanted to do something, anything, to prolong it. The waitress dropped off the sales receipt with a pen and Steve tried to steady his hand as he signed his name. He knew he needed to muster up his courage or he would be saying goodbye to Bucky in mere minutes.

“Thanks again for paying.” Bucky said after draining the last of his wine, “This was really nice.” 

“It was.” Steve agreed, seeing his chance, “You know, I have another bottle of this wine back at my place if you wanna come over for a bit. Maybe you could help me find that movie app you were telling me about for the Fire Stick?”

“Sure, I’m happy to help. I won’t say no to more of that wine either.” Bucky stamped down the hopeful cheering in his chest that Steve was inviting him over. The poor guy probably didn’t mean that anything would happen other than wine and tech help but Bucky could always dream. He would be respectful though, he resolved to himself. He’d never dated a guy who was questioning his sexuality before and Bucky didn’t want to push too far too soon. Bucky figured it was best to let Steve set the pace and just hope his heart didn’t get run over in the process. 

Steve’s apartment was only four blocks from the restaurant, a second floor walk up in an old converted brownstone. It was nicer than Bucky’s little hole in the wall apartment and even had a small second bedroom that Steve had set up as a home office. After giving Bucky a quick tour, he led them to the kitchen to pull another bottle of Albariño out of his cabinet. Passing a stemless glass to Bucky, he poured them both a generous amount of wine which they carried out to the living room so Bucky could show Steve the app he’d mentioned during dinner. A few clicks and a quick download later, Steve had access to a ridiculous amount of free movies. 

“This is so great.” Steve praised, clicking through the different options. “Oh I love this one!”

“Hm?” Bucky looked up from his glass to see Steve hovering over 10 Things I Hate About You. “Oh that one is great. I remember wanting to be Patrick Verona when I grew up after seeing that.” 

Steve gave an amused side eyed look at Bucky. “I think you did a decent job.” he teased, throwing on the movie out of sheer impulse.

Bucky laughed, “You’re sweet. But god knows I’ll never be that smooth.” 

“You’re better off than me. I’ve been told I’m hopeless on more than one occasion.” 

“You hold your own, Rogers.” Bucky assured him, reaching over to take Steve’s hand in his, stroking the pad of his thumb over the ridges of Steve’s knuckles. 

Steve blinked slowly, looking from their joined hands up to Bucky’s face. It felt good, that fluttery feeling stirring in his gut at the contact. He gave Bucky a smile and squeezed his hand gently, making sure his consent was clear.

The movie rolled and they sipped their wine as Patrick did his best to woo Kat. Bucky slowly nudged closer to Steve until he was pressed against his side, his head leaning against Steve’s shoulder. He was warm and comfortable and completely unwilling to move by the time Letters to Cleo played into the credits. 

“I can’t believe it’s after eleven already.” Steve yawned. 

Bucky yawned next, set off by Steve’s. “Same. I had a really good night, Steve.” He looked up curiously, wondering if Steve had found any new revelations on their maybe-date. 

“Me too. This was… really nice. Hey, um, I know this was a maybe-date, but maybe um…”

Bucky shifted so he could sit up taller and face Steve while he fumbled for words.

“I, um, I’d really like to kiss you right now.” Steve blurted out, looking equal parts excited and terrified. 

Bucky’s smile was like the sun. “Okay, yeah.” Bucky reached out to cup Steve’s cheek, going agonizingly slow to give Steve a chance to bolt if he needed it. He leaned up a little and Steve craned his neck down, tentatively meeting Bucky’s lips with his own. 

A soft press, a pause, another soft press, and then the kiss deepened, Bucky’s lips parting to slot Steve’s with his. Steve let out a choked off moan, unable to believe what he was doing and how good it felt. He let a hand rake through Bucky’s hair and it only made him want to feel more of the silky locks. The scent of cedar and teak from his cologne filled Steve’s nose and though it was very distinctly male, Steve couldn’t get enough of it. It was so much more than he could have expected but also not nearly enough. He was breathing raggedly when he finally pulled back, repressing a shudder at the well kissed expression on Bucky’s face. His full bottom lip was shining and red, his eyes heavy lidded and his chest heaving just as much as Steve’s. 

“Whoa.” Steve finally breathed out in amazement.

“Yeah, whoa.” Bucky agreed. “So does this help in sorting out if this was a date-date?”

“I think it was definitely a date-date.” 

“I’m glad. And do you think you’d want to try another date sometime?”

“When are you free next?” Steve chuckled, only half kidding. 

“Easy there, pal.” Bucky warned lightly, patting Steve’s ridiculously broad chest. “We’ll find a day again soon.” 

Steve nodded, knowing Bucky was right for wanting to take things slow. He led Bucky over to the door, giving him one last quick kiss goodbye before the brunette headed out into the early summer night. Steve was still floored by his own reactions to Bucky but it felt so right that he couldn’t agonize over it for long. 

[floralgothpersephone]

Countdown

Sooooo.... several.... um months ago, I was tagged by @jaygirl987  and this has just been sitting in my drafts... forever??? oops. Oh well, I am feeling in an over-sharing mood. So I am going to do it now. Felt confident in sharing, might delete later. Response is below the cut, because we are writing essays tonight. 

Rules: List 1 Insecurity, 2 Fears, 3 Turn-ons, 4 Life Goals, 5 Things I like, 6 Weaknesses, 7 Things I Love, 8 Tags  I am going to tag: @akai-vampire, @claudeng80, @bookloverfio, @bigprincess-energy, @peachdoxie, @ruleofexception, @infinitelystrangemachinex, @anais-mitchell

ONE Insecurity:

---People who meet me for the first time always say I am remarkable. But I don’t really agree with that at all, I still don’t understand where people get that from. I feel very desperately flawed and a moderately dysfunctional human doing my damned best with what I’ve got, and isn’t that just a normal state of being for everyone making their way in this life. And if people say I am remarkable, and it turns out to be true, then does that mean I am not normal??? How is everyone else living their life then? What am I doing wrong??? or right?? or differently??? How do I bottle up this whole remarkable thing and share it with everyone else?? Being called remarkable makes me fear for everyone else. Because if i am struggling this much, and people still seem to think I am amazing then does that mean everyone else who is struggling is failing in some reguard?  I have met so many other people in the world who are just as special as me, and if i am raised above that then what about all those other people? Aren’t they remarkable too? Kinda takes away the meaning of remarkable then, if everyone else is also remarkable. I don’t know. Every time I meet someone new and they call me remarkable it makes my skin crawl. What sort of face are they seeing me wear that makes it happen so often? I just try and be myself, and stay true to who I am in any given moment but then that makes their statement have more power? I hate it. Nothing makes me more insecure. I can go from full blown confidence down to nothing the moment someone says that about me. I know I am odd and don’t quite function right in society, and have a very different perspective on it because of my dysfunction, but that shouldn’t make me remarkable. There are too many other people in this world for me to be remarkable. 

TWO Fears:

---I may never get to see Amber Gray perform Persephone in Hadestown

---Cockroaches. Turns out I have an actual phobia of cockroaches. 

THREE “turn-ons”: 

---Silly Antics, like sheer outrageous, ridiculous things that make you laugh until you cry. Like, I fall in love a little bit with everyone who has ever made me laugh. So like, the more you make me the laugh the more I look at that and go, “mhm tasty”. Also, if we are not laughing at some point during sex then what even is the point??? 

--- Loyalty, Reliability and just being supportive and a good friend. Like, I am very much very very demisexual and while I can look at people and love their look and their aesthetics and be attracted to that, I need a very firm established relationship for like... years, before I am ever actually interested in letting them into my bed. I need some definite proof that they are in this for the long run before I can let my sexuality come into play.  

---Being crafty and creative. Seeing someone make a very nice craft gets me all worked up in ways I can’t quite describe. But every time a partner of mine starts a project and is making things I want to jump their  b o n e s. 

FOUR Life Goals:

---Get my ass to fucking Greece and like. Stay there. For months. And just travel??? And like, take my time, no rushing around to do every single thing. I want to go to these places and be there for so long that I can just sit and be. 

---B a b i e s. Dear lordy if you look at every major decision i have ever made in my life, it has all lead up to the fact that I want to have kids, and I want to have a family in a very specific supportive and stable way and I need to complete these things before i can have my kids. BUT BOY THE HORMONES ARE STRONG AND I WANT THEM NOW. 

---Can I put travel twice? Travel is so important to me. I have to see the world, I need to map it. I need to see all the different types of humans and cultures there are in the world and I need to experience what there is in this life before its all over. 

---I have this home I like to dream about, its constantly changing, but its small, while having enough space to breathe, covered in plants, an entire wall that is just a bookcase to store the entirety of Alex and I’s mug collection (we are looking at least 80 mugs between the two of us currently). A claw foot bathtub in a room full of windows that is just a glorified greenhouse really. comfy reading nooks and places for play, covered in nothing but soft blankets and cushioned seats. A cat or two lounging around among all the soft places in the sun light. Walls covered in cork boards so that I can pin up hundreds of pictures of the family I have built for myself. Little foot steps running around from kids playing, and having my partners home with me to cook and raise the little ones together in a family and a community. I just. I just want that little domestic haven of something calm and secure that I never got to have growing up in my life. 

FIVE Things I Like:

---Pottery!  (my craft of choice, I’ve been making pots for 17 years now and it never gets old) 

---Plants! (I live in a small jungle! I’m a plant witch! I love my plants! They are my only friends some days! But thats okay, I take care of them and in return they take care of me.) 

---Places! (I’m a map maker, I love learning about the identity of a location both on a map and within the human mind. How amazing that a collection of humans create an identity for a geographical space separate from other all the other geographical spaces. That’s wild! I want to learn what makes them all different forever!) 

---Purple! (My hair is purple, its been purple since I started grad school! I flirted with pink hair and orange hair last year to try on different types of variety and see how that fit but I am back to purple and I am back to my normal skin! My purple hair is the source of my internal confidence and a major point of my identity) 

---Music! (I am not sure I  would ever be able to navigate my own mental landscape without the aid of music guiding me through all my different emotions and feelings so that I could have a safe place to experience them without fear of repercussion) 

SIX Weaknesses:

---I over think everything (case and point, this post, whoops) 

---An open opportunity. Like, if I am given an opportunity suddenly that wasn’t previously available and wouldn’t be available in the future, I will move mountains to make it happen. If I see a window to be able to do something with a time limit I am jumpin as fast as I can to get through that window before it closes. I think its because I grew up with zero opportunities in my life when I was little so somewhere in my bones I believe that every opportunity I get is rare and special thing and if I don’t take it now then I won’t ever get another one. Sometimes its exhausting but I can’t honestly say there is a list of things that I could have done that I didn’t? I have very little regrets in that regard. 

---I am willing to see and recognized my flawed personality traits, but rarely ever actually do anything to fix them. I am a big of a believer in accepting yourself with all the flaws (part of the side effects of recovering from perfectionism) but that mentality has a different problem... in which you are so comfortable with the problems that you don’t have any desire to fix them? Yeah.  

---Um, I have a major weakness for brown eyed, brunette girls and have fallen waaaay too hard for too many of them in my life for it to not be a thing (that Alex teases me relentlessly about). Honestly the list is long, but good news. Fiona is on that list. <3

---Potential. I have a weakness for potential, sometimes that manifests in craft materials. (Oh I could make this into this other thing!) So I have quite the collection of crafting hoards. I rarely buy plants when they are big because I am far more interested in getting a small plant because of it its potential to grow into something. I love love love love working in clay because there is just SO MUCH potential for it to become really ANYTHING???? Its amazing!!! Like, if you imagine in there is a way to make it real. And I am obsessed with that feeling. 

--- I have a weakness for cream. I like half and half in my tea. I like whipped cream on my waffles. I like straight up cream on my strawberries. I like clotted cream on scones. I like creamy milkshakes. The creamiest of cheeses. If its a cream based sauce I’m in. Just. Cream. 

SEVEN Things I Love:

I just now realized that there is a difference in the lists for “like” and “love” LOL there is no difference to me. I have no moderation, I either love something with my whole heart or not at all. So lets wax some poetry on things I have already listed, because the things I like I also love. 

--- Okay, pottery, so like, Pottery is amazing??? Because you take dirt!!! like muddy gross squishy dirt!!!! and you mold it into something you like???? And then you FIRE IT!!! Like how metal is that???? You are creating something from DIRT. And on top of that, it lasts FOREVER. like, people hundreds of years from now are gonna be digging up our civilization and our computers are going to be dead, our papers and paintings: dead, our books? Hopefully not dead. But whats going to be left is our city foundations, our places, our trash and our shitty broken pots. And goddamn, I am obsessed with looking around our world and just IMAGINING what these people in the far off future are gonna think. And there isn’t a single piece of pottery that I make in which I am not thinking those exact thoughts and trying to imagine what that person in the future is going to be like when they find this.

--- And on that note, places are just so fricking cool. Because I grew up in a mono-culture where the majority of the population belonged to the same culture and the identity of the place was a direct reflection of the people. But other places have SO MUCH DIVERSITY and I am just amazed and inspired about how you can take SO MANY PEOPLE from SO MANY DIFFERENT CULTURES and pack them all into a city, and then that city becomes its own culture??? and has its own Identity??? Like, New Yorkers, those people come from fucking everywhere on the entire planet, and YET everyone knows there is a New York culture that is just agreed upon? And New York has an cohesive identity to how it functions, and how it works. Just. How amazing is that. And Minneapolis, jeez, bless Minneapolis. Because it has the midwestern identity but its developing one all on its own. And it doesn’t have a National presence yet, so in a lot of ways its just developing its identity for the world and its just so amazing to see all the different ways that people provide input on how they want their city to develop, and with each step it comes closer and closer to a face it wants to display to the world??? Its like, seeing a teenage, trying out who they want to be and developing them self to become a real adult. And goddamnit I want to see Minneapolis into a fully mature Nationally known city. I can’t wait. 

---So plants, are like. The best therapy. Because plants don’t really talk, well okay I think they do, BUT PHYSICALLY, they don’t talk. And so in order to figure out what they need to you have to listen to them in a very different way then humans are used to?? You have to observe, and check-in and interact and just learn about a plant so that you can care for it. And I think thats exactly how humans are too, except we have this obnoxious thing called talking that sometimes make it difficult to actually figure out what is going on down below. Its easy for someone to say they are fine when they really are not. But plants don’t get to say that they are fine. When they suffer they do so silently and while they may want to scream for more water they have to let you know in other ways, drooping, changing color, dropping all its leaves in protest. And thats the other thing about plants too, is that every type of plant asks for help differently? How amazing is that. You have to get to know the plant on an individual level, there is no “one way fits all” fix-it for plant care. You have to know your plant. You don’t have to know all the plants in the world, just the ones you take into your care. And thats just so symbolic for me. And when I am taking care of my plants, I am taking care of myself too. Water for the plants, water for the Becca. Sunlight for the plants, sunlight for the Becca. Extra boost of fertilizer for the plants, extra boost of vitamins for the Becca. And I love my plants, even with their imperfections and wild ways of growing. Sometimes they get a whole lotta attitude in how they grow, and it isn’t picture perfect, but that doesn’t matter. Cause thats my plant! And its growing and thriving and I am so happy that its doing well! It doesn’t need to be the prettiest plant that ever existed. It just needs to live. And damn thats all I need. 

---Purple is just an amazing color. Like everyone has heard the poetry talking about the richness and royalty and the history that the color purple has. But for me? Purple was a color I was immediately drawn to as a kid for no apparent reason but that I liked it. And I was not allowed, because the color purple was Barney colors and my parents were so very concerned that the other kids would torment me (spoilers, the kids found other reasons to torment me, and I was just denied being allowed to wear my favorite color). And then there was the instance of my grandmother, who, lets be honest, doesn’t win any “good grandparent” awards. And she LOATHS the color purple. Just thinks its really ugly. And took every chance to tell me that whenever I went shopping with her or if she wanted to get me a gift and was looking for input. So i went through all these stages when I was little, only being allowed to like pink, but then internalized misogyny said that was dumb so then I chose blue to be my favorite color while completely denying that what I wanted was purple. So yeah. By the time college came around and I was an “adult” (lol) I was just like. Fuck this shit no one can tell me what I am allowed to like and claimed purple for everything in my life. and I mean. e v e r y t h i n g. Backpack? Purple. Every piece of clothing I owned? Purple. Jackets? Purple. ipod? Purple. Does the object come in purple? Yes. Well then that is the correct answer. When I broke down and finally dyed my hair purple (like I have wanted to do since I was little, but again, I was not allowed and can you imagine being a non-mormon kid in the little valley with purple hair in high school??? Fuck I would have been the anti-christ of all sinners.) But in Minneapolis it seemed like it would be far more acceptable and wouldn’t result in immediate social disgrace. So I did it. I graduated my undergrad and dyed my hair purple because I could. And it changed my entire life. No more wall-flowering. No more hiding in the shadows praying no one notices that you don’t quite belong. No more pretending that you don’t exist so that people can walk all over you as they pass by. When you have a wildly different color hair, you have to own it. There is no “oh haha, whoops” about it. You made that decision, you put the color in your hair with that intention. And now its there to stay until you cut it all off. And that was the kick in the butt for me. That was the thing I need to own my own self and to lay claim to my voice. And for a while, it wasn’t easy. It was learning a whole new skillset. And there was definitely a major time span that was just “fake it until you make it”. But I kept faking it for the sake of my purple hair, because every time I looked into the mirror it made me so happy I could cry. I wasn’t looking a the mirror nitpicking my reflection any more. I was just joyful, because my hair was purple and I loved it. So every time someone made a comment whether it was good or bad, I would be dying on the inside from having the attention on me. But I would pull out the big ole grin of joy that I wasn’t really feeling and be like “Yeah isn’t it great! Its my favorite color!” And the good comments would be happy for me, and the bad comments would be thrown off by my enthusiasm and usually go away. And at one point that big joyful grin wasn’t just a farce, and now, 9 years later, working for the federal government and people try and make a jab at my hair, I can just laugh and tell them how much fun having colorful hair is. And that they should give it a try too. 

[eldritchsurveys]

1030.

5k Survey LXXIV

3751. Do you prefer to drive or be driven? massage or be massaged? pamper or be pampered? go down or be gone down on? >> Be driven; no thank you; eh...; no thank you. 3752. What do you think of the sims? >> The... video game franchise? I mean, it’s fun? I don’t really play it anymore because their corporate strategy for that franchise pisses me the fuck off, but I’m glad I have it because Sparrow likes to play. 3753. How about the Sims Online? >> I’ve never played this. 3754. Professional or home pedicure and why? >> I’m fine, thanks. 3755. Is there a difference between over weight and over fat? What? >> Overweight and obese, you mean? As far as I’m aware, that’s a numerical or ratio-based difference. I don’t really care, personally, so.

3756. What do you think of Rush Limbaugh? >> I don’t think of Rush Limbaugh. 3757. Do you buy books and then never read them? >> Nope. If I actually spend money on a book, it’s because I damn well intend on reading it. 3758. What does OPP stand for? >> Other people’s property, as far as I’m aware. I’m sure it stands for other things, too. 3759. If you had to be a character from married with children, what would you be? >> I am entirely unfamiliar with this show. 3760. What did you get for christmas? >> --- 3761. What was your best ever valentine's day? >> --- 3762. What movie would you like to see again, that you haven't watched since you were a kid? >> Most of the movies I saw when I was a kid, I’ve definitely rewatched within the last five or so years. I still like most of the movies I remember from childhood. 3763. Have you seen Fantastic Planet? >> No. 3764. Do feet disgust you? >> Not as a rule. 3765. What pain releaver do you use? >> Aleve / naproxen sodium. 3766. Are you an artist, a designer or a doodler? >> None of the above, I’m more a writer than anything else. 3767. Do you belong to a gym? >> No. 3768. Have you ever been to court? Over what? Did you win? >> I went to court multiple times for name changes, and that’s not really something you “win”, lol. It’s just a formality, really, unless you’re actually wanted by the IRS or whatever. I also went to court when I was 13 because of some Grade A Bullshit, and I did not win. Because justice is fake. 3769. Would you ever take a caase on court TV (Judge Judy and such)?? >> No. 3770. You are given a million dollars, only you MUST spend it (or as much as possible) IN ONE MONTH. ANY LEFT OVER MONEY WILL GO AWAY. WHAT DO YOU BUY? >> I don’t want to be a part of this. 3771. What are your pj's like? >> I don’t have any dedicated pajamas. My lounge clothes double as sleep clothes. 3772. Is there a fabric you love above all other fabrics? >> No. 3773. Can you think of any words (besides mom, dad and bob) that spell the same thing backwards and forwards? >> Tenet is another one. 3774. Who would enter an ugly foot contest???? >> ?? Why the fuck are you asking me? 3775. Would you rather see a movie with someone who screams during the movie, crys through the movie, or talks theough the movie? What's the least annoying? >> I don’t at all mind people crying at movies. Talking is situationally dependent -- I don’t mind when it’s a movie I’ve already seen and I don’t need to be immersed in, but sometimes it can be insufferably distracting and I’d rather someone kept it to a minimum. Screaming, though? No fucking thank you, take that shit far away from me. 3776. Do you have any grey hair? >> Yeah, a small crop. 3777. Are all the Jennifers you know psychotic? >> ... 3778. Do you want to join a country club? >> No. 3779. 'I felt a funeral in my brain' - Emily Dickinson. What do you feel in your brain? >> I really do not know how to answer this. 3780. What is the best atari game you can remember? >> --- 3781. Hulk Hogan, Alf or Mr T? >> --- 3782. Did you dance today? >> I danced a little, to a song that was playing while I was putting moisturiser on. 3783. Are birds happy in cages? Are pets happy indoors? >> ... 3784. Have you, or has anyone you know, ever been stuffed in a locker? >> No. I put myself into a locker on purpose once, though. Just because I could. 3785. Critique this poem. Last night death signed my yearbook Have a good summer he said see ya next year and then I realized it wasn't my yearbook it was my tombstone >> I don’t have a critique. It just doesn’t make any sense to me personally. 3786. Red or white wine? >> Red. 3787. Hula hoops or jump ropes? >> Jumpropes. 3788. Do you like tiffany lights? >> I’m not sure what those are and I don’t feel like googling. 3789. Do you like fights? >> No??? 3790. What do YOU want to pin the tail on? >> ... 3791. Wasn't last night fun? >> Er... 3792. Have you ever met a group of more interesting people? >> More interesting than what? 3793. Would you eat Spaghetti with waffles to keep from offending someone? >> No. If they’re offended at my desire to eat things that are pleasing to me, then that’s their business. 3794. Do you play with Mr Patatoe head? >> No... 3795. Would you rather live in an attic or a basement? >> Attic, at least I’d get some fucking sunlight. 3796. Can you understand sign language? >> Not a whole lot of it, because I’m not fluent. 3797. Do you wear ridiculous hats? Does Elton John? >> I only wear one kind of hat, and I don’t think Elton John’s hats are ridiculous. 3798. What music is wild and crazy? >> ... 3799. How does one live their life like a candle in the wind? >> I don’t know, man. But that’s the metaphor he chose to use and I respect it. 3800. Ziggy and the Spiders or Benny and the Jets? >> Ziggy and the Spiders, of course.

[bettercallsabs]

Choteau

A/N: hello my dearies! I’ve been mia, not a surprise lol, but after a long move I’m finally transitioned into our new home, and have had sometime. Anywho, I am back with a new short series. I know, I know. Oh lawd someone stop me now, right? But without further ado, here is part one of my Steve Rogers cowboy-esque series- the one I promised months ago 😂 As usual, unedited, because this is fucking tumblr. Enjoy dearies! P.s. remember I do cover art? 

Taglist is open, so never miss a post!

Thee Masterlist

Steve Rogers x Reader

Warning: fully disclosed- talks of domestic abuse.

Word count:3k+

Your lungs burned with such intensity, it felt as if a hot flame licked at their very walls, with every intake of breath, or lack thereof. Every inhale seemed to fuel the fire, as you desperately fought to fill your lungs with air, but to no avail. You could feel your head growing fuzzy, the sensation of prickling needles engulfed your head. starry  lights overtook your visual field, until there was nothing but darkness...

You startled awake, your heart thudding against your chest, as you rubbed at your neck, panting as you managed to catch your breath. It was just a dream, you whispered to yourself with a sigh of relief. it was just a dream. You sat up, the scratchy sheets of the cheap motel rubbed against the exposed skin of your legs.  Looking over, your daughter slept soundly next to you, the slow rise and fall of her chest, brought ease to your heart.

You felt awful, bringing her into this situation, uprooting her life, taking her out of the only home she’s ever known. But you couldn’t stay anymore. Your recent brush with death was too much. You couldn’t bare not being in your daughters life... She needed her mother. And she needed her mother unbroken for once.

You swung your legs over the bed, placing them firmly on the floor as you gripped at the edge of the bed with both hands. You glanced at the clock that sat on the dinky little end table. 5:47 A.M. it read in bright red numbers.

You definitely weren’t going back to sleep.

With a heave from the bed, you felt immediate stiffness in your back, as you walked to the small bathroom. You brought in your oversized navy blue duffle bag, pulling a compact bag from with in it. The overhead fan buzzed as you took a seat on the edge of the cold tub, causing shivers to descend down your spine.

You opened it, pulling the contents from within.   You held in your hands the only money to your name. Slowly counting it out. $3759... you could do this... No, you have to do this. For her. For Bennie.

A soft knock at the door made your heart spring in your chest.

“Mommy.” Bennie’s soft voice brought your heart to ease. You had to remind yourself Aaron wasn’t here and you were safe. You tucked the loose bills back into the bag, tossing into the tub and pulling the curtain before opening the door. There stood your doe eyed little girl. Her hair was a mess. Those copper locks you loved so much were matted flat to one side of her head. You couldn’t help but smile, pulling her tiny frame into you for a big mama bear hug.

“What are you doing up so early mon petit chou?” You kissed the top of her head, brushing the dried drool  soaked hair from her cheek.  

“I’m hungry. My tummy rumbles.”

“Oh, you’ve got a case of the rumbly tumblies?”

Her head bobbed up and down, as she patted her tummy.

“Well, we can’t have that. Can you hangout for a bit while mommy takes a shower, and then we can grab some breakfast? I’m thinking waffles... with strawberries maybe?” A wide grin spread across Bennie’s face.

“Yay! Waffles!”

Bennie exclaimed as she bolted for the bed, tucking herself beneath the cover of her favorite purple fleece Minnie Mouse blanket.

The water didn’t take long to heat up, and for this you were relieved. White tufts of stream rose from the  steaming water, as you watched it fall from the shower head. You reached your arm in testing the temperature before submerging yourself in the delicious heat. You could hear Bennie’s soft giggles trailing in, faint over the shower. You rested your head against the tile of the shower wall. That laughter, that little girl, is what kept you going through all the pain, the agony you had endured. You smiled as you let yourself become lost in her innocence.

Your shower ended far to quickly. It seemed to be over as soon as it started. You moved sluggishly, wishing for a few moments more under the scalding water. Wrapping yourself in the small hotel towel, you starred into the fog covered mirror, thankful you didn’t have to look into the mirror. You dressed hastily. Throwing on your favorite pair of medium wash denim jeans and an old hoodie. You tied up your damp hair in bun, if you could call it that. Bennie picked out  her own outfit, a pair of unicorn tights, with a metallic ribbed skirt, and a red tee.

“I’m a pop star mommy! Like Barbie!” Bennie struck a pose, her lips protruding in a pouty face.

“You sure at Bennie! A true pop star!”

Stepping outside, the chilly morning Montana air kicked at your cheeks. You knelt down to Bennie, zipping up her sweater- that was a hassle to get her to wear, because according to Bennie, it just didn’t go with her outfit.- You tucked a sterling hair behind her ear before pulling the hood over her head. “There, nice and cozy.” You smiled lovingly at your toddler, gentle running your thumb across her cheek before settling her into her car seat.

You slid into the driver's seat of your quick buy, ‘06 Malibu. The dashboard clock read 6:32am as your car roared to life.the streets were empty, the town quiet. No hustle and bustle, of the city that you were used too. You drove around for about 15 minutes until you entered the small downtown area. The Buildings were rustic, carrying a late 19th century vibe to them. A quaint family restaurant was nestled between a flower shop and the local barbershop. As you pulled closer, you saw the open sign swaying back and forth on the door. Perfect” You thought to yourself, as you pulled into a parking spot. “Ready for some yummy waffles?”

Bennie nodded, the bun on top of her head bobbing back and forth.  You remove yourself from the car, before unbuckling Bennie from her harness. The restaurant had a charming demeanour. Old photos hung from the shiplap walls, remembering the town in it’s beginnings. A free standing sign read “Please seat yourself”.

“Where should we sit Sweetie?” you asked, watching her excitement grow with anticipation. Grabbing your hand, she dragged you to a booth, just big enough for two, in the back left corner of the restaurant.

A petite and plump older lady began making her way towards you. Her graying hair was nestled in a messy bun, a few stray bangs, dangling in her face. A wide small graced her lips as she approached the table. It was an infectious smile, warm and nurturing.

“well good morning. My names Gwen. What can I start you two off with this morning?”

“Juice mommy, juice!” Bennie chimed.

“Apple or orange?” Gwen asked Bennie directly, her smile never fading.

Bennie’s brow furrowed as she was in deep thought, her hand bald in a fist under her chin.

“um, apple.” It came out more as a question rather than a direct answer.

“Apple juice it is. And for you?” Gwen’s focus was now on you, as she adjusted the pocket sized notepad in her hand.

“I’ll take coffee please. Lord knows I need it.”

“Say no more hun. Half and half or creamer?”

“Half and half would be great.”

“Be back with those drinks in a jiff.”

Bennie sat across from you, smiling contently as she opened the box of crayons.

“So what brings you to Choteau? We don’t get many visitors outside of hunting season, around here.” Gwen placed the cups onto the table, pouring fresh coffee into your mug.

“Just needed to get away for a bit. Pointed to a random place on the map, and here we are.” You put your best smile forward. It wasn’t like you were telling a complete lie.

“Well, were always happy to see new faces around here. You’ll find our smile town can be quite lovely. Now, what can I get you ladies to eat?”

“We'll take the Belgian waffles with strawberries and a side of breakfast potatoes.”

“Coming right up.”

Gwen shimmied away, leaving you to face a very eager child. She sat on her knees, Elbows resting on the table, dragging the blue crayon over the paper in erratic movements. Her eyes met yours with a smile, and your heart began to sink a bit. She was completely unaware of what was going on… why her father wasn’t around anymore. When you first decided you had to run, to get as far away from him as possible, you worried about Bennie-afterall, she was the reason you stayed. Bennie had stopped constantly asking about her dad, and you were thankful for it.

The last few months on the run, constantly looking over your shoulder had taken its toll on you, and the last thing you needed was the guilt. Although Paul treated you like you were less than human, he was a devoted father to Bennie, and she adored him, he was her hero.  It was almost enough for you to stay to endure the ridicule, the bruises, until it nearly cost you your life…

You were startled from your thoughts when two large plates of waffles were set onto the table.

“you alright hun?” gwen's voice was laced with concern as she set down a bowl of potatoes.

“uh yea, yeah.. I’m fine. Just a lot on my mind.”

“well hun, if you ever need to talk, I’m around. Now enjoy your breakfast, and let me know if you need anything.”

“Thank you.”

She smiled softly, a look of worry in her eyes as she turned to walk away. You grabbed the plated that was set in front of Bennie, pulling a fork and knife that were wrapped in a napkin.

“What kind of syrup would you like baby? Mulberry, maple, blueberry?”

“um… Blueberry!” She practically yelled with glee.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. In all the things to happen in your life, Bennie truly was the best.

You were stuffed as you sat back in your seat. Your stomach felt like it may just explode. You should have stopped eating halfway in but that waffle was thee most delicious waffle you had ever had. You never could have imagined something as simple as a waffle could taste so good. Bennie looked about the same, her eyes growing heavy as her head bobbed up and down. She definitely was going to fall asleep on the ride back to the motel.  

You flagged down Gwen with a wave. If you didn’t get out now, you’d be stuck lugging Bennie’s deadweight to the car. And any parent knows, there’s not much heavier than a sleeping preschooler.

“I can see someone is ready for a morning nap.” Gwen’s laugh was so pleasant, like windchimes, chiming in the light summer breeze. “Here’s your check hun. Anything else you need?”

You were hesitant in your response, but there was something about Gwen that made you feel relaxed, like you could be open for a moment.

“uh, Maybe you could offer some advice. I think we're going to be around for a bit, know of any jobs? Or places for rent? I don’t think the motel off of 45 is going to do the trick.”

“”I’ll be right back.” She hustled off in a huff, her shirt legs moving swift with every step, as she disappeared into the kitchen, door swinging behind her.

While she was gone, you grabbed your wallet from your purse, pulling the cash from your wallet, setting it onto the papercheck.

When you looked up from the table, Bennie’s eyes were nearly closed. Damn. You were not making it out of here with her awake. You coxed Bennie over to you, who sluggishly walked towards you, crawling into your arms. As soon has her head hit your chest, a soft snore trailed through her mouth. You brushed at her soft bronzed copper hair, placing a light kiss on her hair covered forehead.

The sound of a swinging door drew your attention from your daughter, it was Gwen, walking towards you, as if she was on a mission.

“Alright-“ She approached you, slightly winded, as if she had been running. “Sorry that took me so long, had to discuss it with my husband, and boy is he quite the talker. Anywho, he said it should be no problem at all to let you stay in our old house.”

“Your old house?”

“Yes. You see, we’re getting up there in age, and it’s an older farm house, and those stairs were becoming far too much for my Henry, so we built a small ranch home. I promise it is in great condition, a local boy helps us with the upkeep. So, it’s yours if you want it.”

A house, a whole house? You were flattered, but there was no way you could afford to rent a house. “I… I am flattered, I truly am, so thankful for the offer, but I couldn’t afford-“

Gwen held up her hand to shush you. “No need for any of that. You can help me out here, until you find something that better suits you. I really could use the help, with the way my knees have been feeling lately.”

You were dumbstruck. Never had you been met with such kindness, and from a stranger nonetheless.

“I don’t know what to say…” You felt the pressure building from behind your eye as you held back the floodgates.

“Run off back to the hotel and collect your things. We’ll get you settled.” You laid Bennie down on the bench of the booth, hauling yourself to your feet, wrapping your arms around Gwen in a coveted hug.

“I can’t thank you enough.”

Gwen returned the hug, it was an embrace that reminded you of your mother, and you savoured it.

“Now, you run along, and hurry back, okay?” Gwen pushed you back at arms length, wiping tears from your cheeks with a smile. You had known this woman all but an hour, and it felt as if you had known her a lifetime.

You gathered up a sleeping Bennie with a grunt, trying to steady yourself. God she was getting heavy. Her head rested on your shoulder, her wild locks falling into your eyes. Heading for the door , you took it one step at a time, longing for the days when Bennie easily fit into your arms.

Using your hip, you pushed the door open, the bell that sat over the threshold chiming it’s tune. You were incredibly thankful for your parking spot parked just a few feet from the door. You steady yourself against the rear passenger side door, your left knee supporting Bennie as you scavenged through your mess of a purse for your keys.

“God dammit.” You huffed in annoyance, as the keys you dug for slipped from you grasp, clanking against the asphalt.

“Here, let me help you with that.” A deep voice called from in front of you, your head snapping  in the direction of the melodious voice. There, before you stood the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on. Dreaming blue eyes stared at your from beneath a tan ridgetop crease, felt hat. His chiseled jawline was brimming with freshly trimmed scruff. He was lengthy, his height seemed to be accentuated by his dark denim wrangler and heeled cowboy boots. From what you could tell he was toned, his baby blue button down shirt that cling nicely to his well defined arms.

“Ma’am.”  His arm was extended out to you, keys dangling from his fingers.

You realized you had been staring, your cheeks growing warn as you quickly tried to regain your composure.

“Oh, um, I... Thank you so much.” You smiled nervously, pressing the unlock button on your key fob, a little too hard, causing the button to stick.

“Don’t mention it. Now you have a great day. Going to be a nice out today..” A wide and inviting smile spread across his face, revealing a perfect smile. It felt as though your heart was melting in your chest, a feeling you hadn’t felt in ages.

“You too, and thank you again!”

Your gaze lingered a bit too long as you watched him make his way into the restaurant. What a man.

You sighed heavily as you began buckling in Bennie.

“Get it together Y/N!” You coached yourself. The last thing you needed was to get distracted. You had important things to think about, and he wasn’t one of them.

You were in and out of the motel in no time at all. The small car was packed with what little belongings you had. Your stomach was in jumbles, as you sat behind the steering wheel.  You were nervous, understandably, as the unsettling thoughts began flood in. Did you really think this through? We’re you being to rash? Was staying in the same location more than a week safe? Could you really trust these people? You could trust anyone?

You sighed heavily, laying your head against the steering wheel. You couldn’t keep running forever s your funds wouldn’t allow it, and it wasn’t good for Bennie, she needed stability after these last couple of months, you owed her at least that.

And Gwen, you’d never met someone so genuine in your life, second to your mother. In fact, she reminded you of your mother and she went out of her way to help you when she had no obligation to..

You were staying. This was going to be your fresh start. You had to start somewhere, and what better place than Choteau?

You arrived back at the family restaurant, Bennie still sound asleep, the soft putter of her snores filling the car. You could see Gwen standing in the window from your parked car. She must have been waiting for you. She gestured for you to wait, before waltzing her way out of the front door, that infectious smile beaming.

You rolled down your window as she approached the idling car.

“Alright Hun.” She handed you a slip of paper and a key. “Follow these directions. You can’t miss the house. It’s white -well off white, but nevermind that- with a green roof. I’ll stop over after my shift to see how your settling in. And my numbers below if you have any questions. Now you hurry along hun. I’ll see you later.” She have your hand a quick squeeze before heading back into the restaurant.

You took in a deep breath, flipping  your car into reverse, as you headed in the direction of your new home.

ForeverTags:

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[superjennysunshine]

ABC’s of your OC’s

a list of oc questions in alphabetical categories - i made each category based on the first word I could think of in alphabetical order, so enjoy! 

Waffles’ taking the stadnd on this one.

A: Aptitude 1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

Hitting things with a hammer.

2. what activities have they participated in?

None to my knowledge.

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

The ability to talk to a pretty lady without shaking.

4. what things are they bad at?

She’s not a smooth talker, let’s just leave it at that.

5. what is their most impressive talent?

As soon as she gets one, doing a kickflip on a skateboard.

B: Basics 1. what is their hair color?

Dark brown.

2. what is their eye color?

Orange/Yellow.

3. how tall are they?

3ft 5 inch.

4. how old are they?

19.

5. how much do they weigh?

I’m too stupid to come up with an exact number but she is a really buff goblin so do with that what you will.

C: Comfort 1. how do they sit in a chair?

Feet on the seat with legs spread and arms resting on her knees. 

2. in what position do they sleep?

She says she sleeps all spread out in every direction but she curls up into a tiny ball.

3. what is their ideal comfort day?

Fishing.

4. what is their major comfort food? why?

Waffles, her grandfather used to make them for her all the time and  she loved them so much they became her name sake.

5. who is the best at comforting them when down?

No one. Not since her Grandfather and even he had a hard time doing it.

D: Decoration 1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name?

First of all a front door mat that says “Welcome Y’all”, and a lot of country things like train lamps and old paintings that she has no idea what they're about, cup holders that have a map of the world on them (thanks for this suggestion dad lol), in the kitchen a lot of things relating to fruit, like fruit plates, and cups, and little hand towels with fruit on them. Y’know southern trailer park “we like to pretend this house is connected to the ground” type decoration.

2. how would they decorate their child’s room?

She has 18 children in cannon so who knows pal. Does a bed and a hug count as decoration?

3. how do they decorate their own room?

Anything she got from her adventures probably but that’s about it.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?

In canon she wears a hide tank with a skirt/shorts and foot and hand wraps, but i made a modern AU version of her that wears an human sized DragonBallZ t shirt and it looks kinda like a dress in an odd way and it’s so cute and hilarious.

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?

HAHAHAAAHAHAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

fuck no.

E: External Personality 1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality?

maybe like ten trillion percent.. Waffle doesn’t really hide who she is.

2. do they do things that conform to the norm?

Is it a city persons norm? Or a swamp Urchins norm? depends on who you’re asking. 

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing?

She does her own thing mostly.

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads?

No but she loves to dab. 

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own?

She wears her personality on her sleeve. She’s too go ham to not be foward about anything.

F: Fun 1. what do they do for fun?

Run around in the woods and get hurt doing stupid shit, that’s her brand of fun right there.

2. what is their ideal party?

Getting high, eating funyuns, drinking Yoohoo and playing DDR with her friends IN THAT ORDER.

3. who would they have the most fun with?

Kringo has a Pillow fort.

End of discussion.

4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?

Maybe? her source of joy doesn’t necessarily come from doing illegal things but apparently it’s bad to beat the shit out of bad people in someplaces and she does think giving villains their just desserts is fun so.

5. do they go out a lot?

Side? Yes. Partying? No. Theres a lot of pretty ladies in clubs and it makes the poor girl shake. I only said she could talk to one girl and not shake remember?

G: Gorgeous 1. what is their most attractive external feature?

Waffle has the cutest eyes you’ve ever goddamn seen.

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?

She’s funny apparently, that’s pretty attractive.

3. what benefits come with being their friend?

She’s always down to hang and she’ll take a nuke for you after being her friend for about 7 seconds.

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

She tends to feel inadequate intellectually with some of her peers, it bothers her more than she lets on.

5. what parts of others do they envy?

Despite lacking intelligence she isn’t envious of people who have it, she’s more jealous of people who are smooth talkers because it would be easier to net a girlfriend that way.

H: Heat 1. do they rather a hot or cold room?

Warm, she likes being toasty.

2. do they prefer summer or winter?

Winter, when it’s cold outside it makes a warm room all the more comfy.

3. do they like the snow?

She’s actually never seen snow but she’d love it.

4. do they have a favorite summer activity?

Fishing or taking a swim.

5. do they have a favorite winter activity?

Camping!

I: In-the-closet 1. what is their sexuality?

Waffle is good ol disaster lesbian.

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality?

No.

3. have they ever questioned their gender?

No.

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT?

Her Mother and Father hate her and everything else so no. But her Grandpa loved everyone which is a trait that carried into her adulthood.

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out?

If she lived with her parents she probably wouldn’t have at all, but she would tell her grandpa no problem.

J: Joy 1. what makes them happy?

Having fun, and seeing her friends be happy. 

2. who makes them happy?

Any of her friends can make her happy. 

3. are there any songs that bring them joy?

Edge of Seventeen makes her feel badass.

4. are they happy often?

90% of the time yes.

5. what brings them the most joy in the world?

Going fishing with a friend.

K: Kill

1. have they ever thought about suicide?

No.

2. have they ever thought about homicide?

If it’s to bad people, all the time.

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who?

No one specific just the worst person she could think of in that moment.

4. who would miss them if they died?

I assume her friends.

5. who would be happy they died, anyone?

Her mom and dad wouldn’t be happy they probably just wouldn’t care.

L: Lemons 1. what is their favorite fruit?

Watermelon.

2. what is their least favorite fruit?

Pineapple.

3. are there any foods they hate?

Pineapple again. It’s just too much for the poor girl to handle.

4. do they have any food intolerances?

She has a nut allergy. 

5. what is their favorite food?

Waffles, especially with strawberries on top.

M: Maternal 1. would they want a daughter or a son?

She would just want a child, she has no preference.

2. how many children do they want?

As many as she can care for before crumbling to dust.

3. would they be a good parent?

The. FUCKING. BEST.

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?

Her process when naming her children would be to wait till they can speak and cook loads of food and let the child pick their favorite (and by that i mean her wife would NOT let her name them lol).

5. would they adopt?

She has too, and would love to.

N: Never Have I Ever 1. what would they never do?

hurt an innocent person.

2. what have they never done that they want to do?

Sing Karaoke.

  3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do?

Actually be evil. How is it even possible when being nice is so fun.

4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?

we’ll find out on the next episode of Cafe Gio: Waterdeep is so fucked

5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?

Not yet, but they will eventually.

O: Optimism

1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?

Optimistic. 

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?

I mean she tries to be pretty optimistic no matter what.

3. are they good at giving advice?

GOD NO. WAFFLES AN IDIOT.

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?

Joe’s inspired her a couple of times and she’s really appreciated it.

5. were they always optimistic?

Yes.

P: Personality 1. what is their best personality trait?

She’s very nice and welcoming to most.

2. what is their worst personality trait?

She’s a damn idiot that girl. She’s like a bull that sees red all that time.

3. what of their personality do others love?

Jeff I’m sending this to you so you tell me.

4. what of their personality do others envy?

I feel like some people would be jealous of being able to look on the bright side all the time.

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

Waffle knows she’s a disaster lesbian and fucking despises it (the disaster part obviously)

Q: Questions 1. do they ask for help?

No.

2. do they ask questions in class?

A better question would be does she ever stop asking questions in class.

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable?

yes, but with a blush.

4. do they ask weird questions?

Unintentionally yes.

5. are they curious?

God yes.

R: Rules 1. do they follow rules?

Almost never.

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent?

Stricter than you think but still pretty laid back. She’d be fine with letting her kids go and get into trouble but would definitely keep an eye to make sure they don’t do anything too stupid.

3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule?

She just recently got detained. But when the pretty captain lady showed up those cuffs got a little warmer IFYAKNOWWHATIMSAYIN.

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?

No, she will eventually, but not right now.

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?

If at any point someone stops helping someone else because of a rule? Yes.

S: Streets 1. are they street-smart?

More like Swamp Smart.

2. would they give money to someone on the streets?

Hell yeah. 

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?

One time. two thousand more to go.

4. has anything happened to them on the streets?

She got daggers thrown at her, that wasn’t particularly her best day.

5. are they cautious when out?

Caution is not a part of Waffles vocabulary.

T: Truth 1. are they honest?

Yes. Dangerously some would say.

2. can they tell if someone is lying?

No, she’s naturally inclined to believe people mostly anyway.

3. is it obvious when they’re lying?

Yeah... Poor Waffle, the little girl can’t even lie right.

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about?

Not yet.

5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will?

No.

U: Underdog 1. have they been bullied?

Yes. Her parents were absolute bastards to her.

2. have they bullied anyone?

If she did i would hop universes and smack the soul out of her.

Also no she’s not an asshole.

3 have they been physically attacked by a bully?

HA , if they wanted to lose their fucking arm.

4. have they ever been doubted?

Probably. 

5. have they surprised people with being good at something?

Not to my knowledge.

also probably wont we’ll just nip that expectation in the bud.

V: Vomit 1. do they vomit often?

No.

2. do they get lots of stomach aches?

Yes. She doesn’t know why.

3. are they good at comforting someone ill?

If you enjoy rabbit soup and warm hugs than yes.

4. what do they like as far as comfort goes?

A warm blanket, warm food, If she lives in the modern AU maybe a nice movie.

5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?

When she’s nervous she stutters.

W: Water 1. do they drink enough water?

Yes.

2. have they learned to swim?

She could place gold in laps if she wasn’t 3 feet tall.

3. do they like to swim?

Yes!

4. can they dive?

CANNONBALLS ONLY!

5. can they swim without holding their nose?

Yes.

X: Xylophone 1. what is their favorite genre of music?

Southern Rock.

2. do they have a favorite song?

Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks.

3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer?

She thinks Stevie Nicks is an actual witch, and she thinks that’s fucking DOPE.

4. can they sing well?

God no.

5. can they rap?

God do i wish.

Y: You 1. how old were you when you created them?

20 (it feels like i’ll never not be 20 and im sure that’s a good thing for people that don’t feel like fucking dust like i do).

2. what inspired you to create them?

I found the art of her and the idea just snowballed from there.

3. were they different when they were first created?

She had a canon sister in the very early days called Pushdaisy who i might still make but they wont be sisters.

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters?

Yes, were similar in our eloquence and intelligence so when I’m writing i just have to ask myself what a braver me would do.

5. what’s your favorite thing about them?

I don’t have one, i love Waffle so much and she means so much to me as a character.

Z: Zebra 1. what’s their favorite animal?

Pig.

2. do they like animals?

Yes!

3. cats or dogs?

Dogs, they got those floppy ears!

4. what’s their dream pet?

An actual whole ass Land Shark, I am not joking. 

5. do they have any pets at the moment?

A pig named chicken but it’s not with her.