#Becca does a tag game

[pablitogavii]

Anger Issues

Summary: People keep coming at Pablo for being 'too aggressive' on and off the pitch and that makes him frustrated. He tried to shield you from it all but when they start assuming he must be just as aggressive with you, he completely looses it!

Pairing: Pablo Gavi x Reader

Warnings: light angst/ fluff/ smutty ending ;)

pablogavi

Get up when you fall! Vamos Culers!! @fcbarcelona

comments:

halamadrid: So much aggression from this overrated tiktok star #nogame!! vini>>>>> liked by 1200 others

madrileñoslovemadrid: siempre agresivo!!

realmadridislove: because he doesn't know how to play!!

gavirafanclub: jealousy!!!

madrileñoslovemadrid: nahh pretty boy just a kid!

viniciusthegoat: little kid wants to act like a big star but all he does is push players! #weak!!

brasileños: go back to La Masia kid!! liked by 1500 others

y.n.bebe: te amo bebé <3

pablogavi: <3

You saw all the horrible comments on Pablo's newest post so you hoped that yours will at least make him smile weakly. People were so harsh with him, always calling him aggressive kid who doesn't belong in the first Barça squad.

They had no idea how wrong they are...Pablo worked hard every single day, training tirelessly without complaining, and the only time he does act 'aggressive' is when he is being provoked into it.

When he came home, you tried talking to him but he just says he is 'fine' before going to take a shower he really needed after all morning of running around the pitch.

"I don't know Becca. He won't talk to me...but I can tell this is getting to him. Does Pedri know anything??" you said into the phone after a few days when Pablo definitely started feeling worse still not letting you in avoiding the conversation whenever you would bring it up.

"Bebé do you want to talk to me about it now?" you said when you laid down in bed and he just pulled you back so that your back was glued to his chest and he rested his chin on your shoulder shaking his head.

"What are you reading cariño?" you sat in between his legs on the couch seeing that he was once again reading some stupid post he was tagged in that did nothing but humiliate him. You took his phone away and nuzzled your face into his neck once more trying to talk but he said he just wants to sit there with you in silence and that he will be alright.

"Pablo...I think you should talk to me" you said when you saw him clenching his jaw suppressing his anger from boiling over and cause him to break everything in his proximity. Apparently, Vinicius Jr said in his interview that Gavi is nothing more than an 'angry kid' that got destroyed in the last El Clásico. "There is nothing to say amor! He is stupid hijo de puta! I need to go for a run!" was all he said before rushing out of our apartment faster than I could say anything.

"Pepi said Pablo has been on edge recently even during training..hitting grass when he would miss a goal and avoiding to joke around with other players" Becca said and you knew it was just a matter of time until he bursts not knowing what to do to get him to open up to you.

During the next game, you went to support him hoping that would give him some push and reassurance that he is still campeon in your eyes and that he shouldn't let those mouth breathers ruin his confidence.

First half went great with Barça scoring one goal, and keeping many more but the moment the second half started you could tell they were provoking Pablo again.

You knew him well to notice the way his shoulders shift and his jaw keeps clenching as he played knowing this will end in a disaster. He was running towards the goal scoring it and making the whole camp jump to its feet when the referee said it was off-side without even sending it to the VAR room.

Pablo was angry with this hitting the ground (gif) and once he got up some opposing players purposefully bumped into him as he walked back to his position. They were really pushing their luck.

All of the sudden there was crowd in the middle of the pitch and you immediately knew who was in the middle of it- your Pablo. When players started moving as referee rushed to the commotion you saw Pablo yelling with his hands in the air repeating he didn't start anything. But it didn't matter, since he received red card being sent off the field and your stomach dropped.

As he walked off, he looked up to meet your eyes and you gave him a weak smile he returned before being quickly distracted by one of the opposing players form the bench yelling 'bye bye Pablito' and as he was about to rush towards him, Xavi grabbed his shoulders pushing him towards the changing rooms.

You rushed back with your 'family pass' knowing that you might be only person he would want to see right now. You saw Xavi leaving him inside the dressing room telling you that he is in pretty bad shape and that he asked for you.

"Bebé?" you opened the door looking up with tearful eyes and you quickly rushed to him sitting on his lap and hugging him tightly not caring that he was sweaty in that moment.

"I'm sorry you had to see that..I'm so sorry princesa" he was crying into your neck and you kissed his head pulling back a little before moving hair off his sweaty forehead pecking his lips a few times sweetly.

"Don't apologize, Pablo..I am still proud of you..It's not easy when everyone is provoking and pushing you around..and you still menage to score the goal and keep playing..you are my campeon bebé" you say seeing his eyes sparkle at the praise he haven't heard in a long time.

"I know I've been pushing you away too.." he said and you shook your head telling him you understand and aren't going anywhere.

After a few minutes, when Pablo finally calmed down just by being in your presence, you walked out of the changing rooms holding hands not expecting to come face to face with the same player who got Pablo kicked out. He must be substituted and you felt Pablo's hold on your hand tighten as his anger returned.

"What a win for us huh?" he said smirking and Pablo's eyes opened wide knowing that when he left, Barça was still leading. You saw that he tried not to let his anger out again but the player was really provoking him badly right now.

"It's okay, Pablito..this is a big boy game..maybe La Masia should take you back??" he said and you placed your hand on Pablo chest saying you should both go watch till the end together and to your surprise he agreed walking off without doing something 'angry bird' like.

y.n.bebe

mi campeon! @pablogavi @fcbarcelona

pablogavi: te amo princesa! <3 liked by y.n.bebe

fcbarcelona: Golden Boy! liked by y.n.bebe

its.becca.girl: Vamos Barça!!

y.n.bebe: siempre hermanita!! <3

siramartinez: supporting our man!

y.n.bebe: always!!

gavifangirling: she is such a supporting gf!! Love it!! <333. liked by y.n.bebe

madrileñosforevaa: girl he is like so aggressive!

halamadrid: nahhh vini>>>>>

gavihateclub: he is probably just as aggressive with her!! @pablogavi

"Now they are saying I am being aggressive to my girl dad!" Pablo couldn't believe the things people were saying online after the last game.

It was one thing to call him a kid, or say that he didn't know how to play but to pull you into it and say he would ever do something to hurt you is past the limit. He can't stay silent anymore! This was taking it too far now!

"Amor?" you said when he just rushed in your shared apartment not even saying a 'hello' before walking into your shared bedroom and tossed himself onto the bed.

You sighed knowing that he must have seen the awful comment someone left on your post which hurt you heart as well. Pablo was the most caring and gentle boyfriend in the whole world to you!

"Bebé can you look at me please?" you said after sitting down on the bed next to him and rubbing his back while hearing his softly sob into the pillow. It broke your heart to see him like this.

He just shook his head knowing that the moment he looks at you he won't be able to stop crying again..he could deal with all the shit they throw on him but when it comes to you, he wants everyone to know that he treats you like an absolute queen because that's what you deserve!

You laid down besides him kissing the back of his neck before nuzzling your face further kissing his cheeks and making him slowly turn around so you can straddle his hips and peck his lips finally.

"Am I too aggressive with you?" he said and you dried his tears your heart breaking that he could ever question you about this. Those people really got into his head.

"Amor, you are the most caring and loving boyfriend in the world..you always make sure to see me every day even when you are away you always face time me before bed...you buy me roses out of nowhere and write me cute notes when you have early morning trainings..you mi cariño are not aggressive person they are portraying you to be..not in football and especially not to me" you say as he listened carefully before pulling you down and kissing your lips feverishly.

"I love you so much princesa..please don't ever leave me" he said and you smiled into the kiss before kissing down his neck and messing up his hair playfully.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily, Gavira!" you said while laying down on top of him and his arms engulfed you tightly while he kissed your head.

"Good. Because I couldn't imagine doing this without you nena.." he said feeling exhausted and you smiled cuddling up and slowly dozing off together.

The next day you wanted to surprise him with a little trip to the beach with all of his friends knowing that it was a day off for everyone and that he could use being with people who love him.

Even Aurora and Javi joined and the whole day Pablo was smiling and joking with everyone, stealing kisses from you and enjoying being 'normal'.

You were glad everyone showed up and showed how much they care for him especially when you saw his happy little face. You never wanted that smile to disappear again!

"Can you take a picture of us Becca?" you said giving you your phone and pulling Pablo towards the ocean before jumping into his arms and he held you up easily leaning in to kiss your lips while everyone cheered. He was so happy when you finally kissed before he put you down and held your face for a few moments.

"Thank you princesa.." he said and you smiled when he kissed your forehead.

"Always, cariño..I love you" you smile getting another kiss before you returned to hang out with the rest of your friends.

"Today was amazing, hermosa..I really enjoyed" Pablo said when you returned to the apartment and you felt really glad to hear that.

"There is something I need to do still.." you said opening Instagram up on your phone.

y.n.bebe

Para el novio mas amoroso del mundo! Te amo amorcito! <33 Gracias gracias por tratarme como una princesa siempre. @pablogavi

liked by 100K others

comments:

pablogavi: porque tu eres mi princesa <33

y.n.bebe: amor!! <3

barcafanclub: he is the sweetest boy! to his fans and to his girlfriend! those saying he is aggressive with her are rude and stupid! Siempre Amor!!! @pablogavi @y.n.bebe

its.becca.girl: sweetest couple en toda la Barcelona!!

pedri: them and us amor lol <3

y.n.bebe: double trouble pepi!! lol liked by pedri

pablogavi: estamos suerte hermano! liked by pedri

gaviiifan: people should stop hating on him for being a good player and clearly the best boyfriend bruh!!

viscabarcasiempre: Gavi! Gavi! Campeon!!!!

gairagirl: people saying he is not a player but a tiktok star are just jealous of his success! they hate him cause they ain't him! @y.n.bebe a lucky girl <33. liked by@y.n.bebe

siramartinez: girl being treated right! shutting up the haters!

y.n.bebe: siempre! <3

ansufati: amor para mi hermano! we all know you the best! @pablogavi

pablogavi: hermano <3

@_rl9 I have known @pablogavi for such a long time now, and the boy is truly the kindest down to earth kid you will ever meet. He shows up to all training ready to go and he never complains! His talent and heart shouldn't be questions! Tue eres chico orgulloso! liked by y.n.bebe pablogavi and others

pablogavi: gracias lewy! te amo siempre ídolo!

[heresthestorymorningglory]

Nightmares and Dreamscapes

Summary: It’s still not over…

A/N: My darlings! I am SO sorry this update has taken ages...life got in the way as it does...

As always, this NSFW 18+ should be par for the course at this point. So like….?

My beautiful partner in crime, my enabler, my soul sister @ken-dom without whom this continuation would not have happened….I thank you for your continued support and love and will forever relish in the fact that I’ve dragged you over to the Six side ;)

This is indeed a continuation of what I’ve affectionately titled the Nurse Series, read previous parts  here.

This was meant to be a TWO part series and Six just refuses to rest so here we are.

Enjoy my loves! <3

Weeks had passed and nothing. No Six, no Lloyd, no stop to the horrific nightmares. 

Night after night you screamed yourself and everyone else in the house awake. 

Some nights Becca was working the overnight shift at the hospital and Lars would be the one to come in and check on you, reassure you that it was only a nightmare, a bad dream, and everything was okay. 

Becca had kept him in the dark on purpose, to keep him safe. He would offer to stay with you, until you fell asleep again and the first handful of times when you refused, Lars would insist, 

“It always helped me fall back asleep when someone was there to watch for monsters” he smiled and you couldn't help but smile back. 

Sitting in the small armchair on the opposite side of the room, he would often doze off, snoring softly while you laid awake, hoping today would be the day Court came home. 

On the nights Becca was home, she would sit and listen to you ramble off the horrible things you had dreamt about. Reassuring you that Court would be careful, he'd had you back here waiting, he wouldn't jeopardize that for anything.

“He always calls,” you reasoned, sitting up in bed after the latest nightmare “Why hasn't he called?” 

“Maybe his phone died” She offered half jokingly 

“Becks” you whispered leaning back against the headboard 

“He's been gone longer than this without a call before” her hands collapsed in her lap “Why is this time so different?” 

“Because,” you sighed 

“Because you think he's hiding something from you”

“I know he is” 

“Based on what?” She asked “Help me understand”

“He's just…” you sighed “He's different,”

“Different how?” She pressed “Because from where was standing, it just looked like he didn't want you in danger”

“No Becks, it's more than that,” you leaned to pull open the nightstand drawer, fishing out a piece of paper before handing it to her. 

She unfolded it and you watched her brow furrow. “Tag, you're it?”

“Lloyd left it, for Court that day at the hospital” you explained “Court kept telling me that none of this was my fault.”

“Of course it isn't” she agreed and you shook your head 

“No, I mean, he kept putting emphasis on my fault. Like it's his fault somehow”

“How could it possibly be?”

You let out another heavy sigh. “I think Court lied to me,” you said, finally voicing the thought you'd had for weeks “His golden rule, number one above all else, no compromise, ever. No hospitals”

Becca nodded but stayed silent. 

“For as long as I've known him, since my residency, no hospitals. Ever. So why then?”

“He knew you were in danger” she sighed 

“Exactly, and then this,” you motioned to the note “What the hell does that mean, unless he's been playing this bullshit cat and mouse game with Lloyd all along?” 

Her face fell and she pressed her lips together in a hard line, she didn't have an answer. 

“Maybe wait for him to get back, give him a chance to explain himself before you resign him to cement blocks at the bottom of the river, okay?”

“He lied to me Becks” 

“He also saved your life,” she pointed out “Multiple times, not to mention that man is head over heels in love with you”

You shook your head and she scoffed with a laugh 

“I'm sorry, no? Is that what you're saying?” She looked at you in disbelief “I've had toddlers with more patience. I've never seen someone more worried about someone else than he was about you”

“Then why would he lie?” You asked softly 

“For the same reason I haven't told Lars the truth?” She offered “To keep you safe, keep you from worrying and sending yourself into a tailspin like you're doing now?”

“Lars is different, he doesn't realize what's going on, I do” 

“At least give him a chance to explain”

“Assuming he's not dead already” you muttered 

“Well if he's not and his reasoning wasn't because he's madly in love with you then you can take him out back and duke it out, Lars’ ax is back there” 

You scoffed offering her a tired smile. 

“Deal?”

You nodded “Deal.”

“Good” she smiled, pulling the blankets back “Now, back to bed”

You smiled settling under the blanket and she tucked you in as she stood from the edge of your bed. 

You turned over with a sigh, tucking your arm under your head as Becca made her way to the door. 

“Becks?” 

She turned on her heel “Hmm?” 

“Thanks” 

She waved her hand dismissively before disappearing down to her own bedroom 

***✨✨✨

Another two weeks had passed and still nothing. 

You sat at the breakfast table, a plate of french toast in front of you, untouched, your finger tracing over your tattoo as you were lost in thought. 

“Maybe she just took some to be polite?” Lars whispered, you still completely oblivious to the world around you 

“No darling, she's just…preoccupied”

“Hmm?” You looked up realizing where you were 

Becca smiled with a shake of her head “Nothing love” 

You picked at your plate eating the smallest of bites. 

You had tried to go back to work earlier in the week and had gotten as far as the threshold of the elevator before having a panic attack and going back home. 

You looked up as something caught Becca's attention and then Lars too. 

Turning in your chair you gasped seeing Six standing in the doorway. 

“Oh my god!” You jumped up from your place at the table, sending your chair clattering backwards to the floor. 

You threw yourself at him and he grunted painfully as your legs locked around his middle, wrapping his arms around you so tightly you thought your ribs would break. 

You squeezed back just as hard, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck; kissing every part of him you could reach. 

“I thought you were….I thought Lloyd” 

“Shhh” 

You breathed in his scent as tears streamed down your cheeks. The rest of the world melted away as you leaned back slightly to finally really look at him. 

“What happened to you?” You whispered, your thumb brushing over his bruised cheek. 

He shook his head “It doesn't matter”

You jumped when a chair scraped on the floor behind you and you remembered where you were. 

“We have to get to work,” Becca smiled “But you know where everything is to patch him up”

You nodded, still firmly wrapped around Six's frame 

“Good to see you back in one piece, John” she winked and Six just scoffed with a laugh 

“Bye” you smiled, resting your head on Six's shoulder who winced in pain 

The front door clicked shut and you slid from around his waist, your feet landing on the floor as you gave him the once over. 

“Are you hurt?” You asked, fingers feeling over his flesh, looking for any cuts or bruises. 

“No” he whispered 

You looked up meeting his eye “Are you lying to me?” 

“No,” he repeated with a gentle shake of his head. 

“Did you find him?” You asked and he let out a heavy sigh 

“Can we not?”

“Court…”

“No,” he shook his head “I don't give a fuck about Lloyd right now; you're safe, and that's all that matters”

“But he's still-” 

Six cut you off, claiming your lips in a deep kiss, you sighed against his mouth, leaning into him as his tongue tangled with yours. 

You moaned, letting him pull you closer, melting into his touch. 

He pushed you back against the table, making the breakfast dishes rattle. 

You pushed him back gently with a small laugh.  

“Not here” you shook your head. 

“Where then?” His breath hot against your neck making you shiver as he kissed along the length. 

You turned on your heel, threading your fingers together with his, pulling him towards the stairs. 

His other hand snaked around your waist as he nuzzled into the back of your neck. You giggled tripping up the stairs as he pulled you against him. 

“Court!” You shrieked as you reached the top, only for him to turn you to face him, pushing you against the nearest wall, pinning you there. 

You moaned as he peppered your face and neck with kisses, pulling your pajama top up over your head before dropping it at his feet. You leaned back against the wall as he sank to his knees, kissing a trail over your bare skin. Your fingers twisting in his thick blond hair as his lips pressed against the fresh scar on your stomach, lingering there a beat longer than the others. 

You pushed his hair back and your eyes met his as he looked up at you from under his long lashes. 

He dropped his eyes, focusing on his task, fingers curling under the waistband of your pajama shorts, tugging them off gently and you stepped out of them. 

Six got back to his feet and you whimpered in protest. 

He shushed you immediately, pulling you against him, before pushing you back toward the room you had made yours. 

You fell back on the mattress, pulling Six with you. 

He caught himself to keep from crushing you before picking up where he had left off. 

Six put himself between your legs, his warm hand gliding slowly up the length of your leg as it bent at the knee. 

You hummed with want as his nose slid up over your bent knee and he kissed along the inside of your thigh. 

Your fingers rethreaded through his hair as he moved closer to your core, his hands pushing your knees apart, making room for his broad shoulders as his fingers hooked around the waist of your panties, you lifted your hips as he tugged them off and tossed them over the edge of the bed. 

He kissed along the inside of your other thigh, making you whimper and tug a little harder on his hair, making him moan between your legs. 

You gasped, arching your back as his tongue licked between your folds, you thrust forward making him moan against your core. 

“God, Court” you moaned to the ceiling as his tongue moved skillfully 

Releasing his hair, your hands slid over his shoulders, pulling him to you. 

His weight was heavy on top of you as his lips met yours. You pulled his shirt up as far as you could manage before he pulled it off the rest of the way before he kicked off his pants. 

You dragged your fingers over his bare chest; old scars marked with fresh cuts. He brushed a chunk of hair off your face; his cock pressed hard against your thigh. 

“Make love to me” you whispered, cupping his cheek. 

He didn't need to be asked twice, he closed the gap between you, his tongue pushing between your lips, you met it with your own, moaning against his mouth. 

He eased himself inside you and you wrapped your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck as you moved together slowly on the bed. 

Your moans mingled together as he pulled back, moving to kiss the length of your neck, sucking none too gently on your collarbone, leaving a bright red hickey in his wake. 

You moaned as his teeth dragged over your overheated skin. Your bodies fit together like puzzle pieces as Six's hips moved with a rhythm, making you moan with each thrust. 

“I love you,” Six breathed against the shell of your ear, making you cry out, your eyes squeezing shut as you whimpered into his neck. 

“I love you too” you whispered “God Court, I love you so much” 

He moaned, thrusting harder, the bed frame creaking under your shifting weight. 

“Again” he whispered 

“I love you” you breathed, fingernails biting into the flesh of his shoulders. 

All at once you were filled with his release, your own orgasm tearing through your body. He crushed his lips against yours, soft and commanding as he slid from inside you, he pulled you against him, moving to lay where you had been; his arms protectively around you. 

Your fingers teased his bare flesh as you laid on his chest, his heart beating steadily in your ear. 

He brought your tattooed finger to his lips, kissing it gently before he collapsed his hand on top of yours, resting on his chest. 

“We're gonna have to talk about it eventually y'know” you spoke quietly 

He let out a heavy sigh but stayed silent. 

“Court, please” you pleaded “I've been going crazy for weeks”

He squeezed you gently with another sigh before he spoke. 

“Not now, alright?” 

“If not now then when?’ you propped yourself up to look at him and he wouldn't meet your eye. 

You flopped back down on the bed with a frustrated sigh when he didn't answer. “If I didn't know any better I'd say you were hiding something from me”

He propped himself up on his elbow leaning over you, his thumb stroking your cheek as he cupped your face. 

“But that's the thing Court,” you continued, your hand sliding along the length of his arm “I do know you, and I know you're keeping something from me” 

“I-”

“Don't you dare lie to me” you glared “You've known, this whole time…haven't you?” You asked “About Lloyd being alive”

He dipped his head to kiss you and you turned away “Answer me”

“Please,” he whispered “Let's not do this now” 

“Yes, Court!” You yelled “Let's do this, let's do this right now because you know what I think? I think the answer is yes” you snapped 

“It is, isn't it? You knew”

He dropped his head letting out a sigh before looking back at you. 

“Yes” he whispered 

You scoffed, shoving him off before climbing out of bed and pulling on your housecoat. 

“I can't fucking believe you” you muttered tying your robe closed as he pulled on his boxers. “How long have you known?”

You stood with your hands on your hips as he came around the end of the bed. 

“I don't-”

“HOW LONG COURT?!” 

“Since June” 

“June” you repeated with a small laugh shaking your head not wanting to believe the words coming out of his mouth. “So you found out, a month later, and didn't tell me?”

You stalked toward the door and Court grabbed your wrist turning you to face him. 

You wrenched your wrist free and slapped him hard across the face. 

“You lied to me for months!” You yelled before dropping your voice again “You watched me have nightmare after nightmare after-” 

“I know” he sighed 

“Do you?!” You snapped “I still wake up screaming because I watch you die, over and over and over again!” 

Your voice cracked with emotion before you continued. 

“You told me he would never hurt me again, he couldn't…do you remember that?!” 

“I remember “ he nodded slowly 

“Then why?” 

He closed the gap between you, reaching to pull you closer and you slapped his hands away; your eyes filling with tears. 

“I can't believe you didn't tell me” you cried, as he closed the distance, wrapping his arms around you; your fists beating against his chest. 

“I'm sorry” he whispered into your hair 

You cried into his chest and he held you tightly 

“We're supposed to be a team” you pulled back to look at him 

“I needed to keep you safe” 

“You needed to be honest with me” you sniffed as he wiped the tears from your face. 

“You're my wife,” he whispered “It's my job to keep you safe” 

“And you're my husband” you countered “It's my job to keep you safe too” 

“I can-”

“I don't care, Court!” You screamed “I don't care if you can take care of yourself! God!”

You turned on your heel “Don't follow me!” 

You stomped down the stairs and could feel Court's heavy footfalls behind you, following. 

“Fuck off, Court” you snapped, reaching the bottom 

“Hey!” He grabbed your shoulder, spinning you around to face him 

“I said, fuck off!”

“And I said I'm sorry” he growled, pulling you against him before thrusting you against the wall. 

You gasped as all the air rushed from your lungs. Court's weight pinning you to the wall, one hand gathering both of your wrists and pinning them over your head as he crushed his lips to yours. 

You pried your lips from his, gasping for air as his mouth latched on to your collarbone, sucking hard. 

You gasped, nails biting into your palms as Six's hips rolled into yours. 

You fought to pull your wrists free and Court squeezed harder, shaking his head. 

“Uh uh” he whispered, his breath hot against your cheek. 

You whimpered, going limp underneath him as his free hand slid under the robe and between your thighs: his fingers teasing your already sensitive folds. 

“Court” you cried “We can't do this here” 

“Looks like we already are” he whispered against the shell of your ear, as if to punctuate his point, two fingers thrust inside you, making you cry out. 

He pumped his fingers in and out, pushing you closer to the brink. 

His thumb pressed against that little bundle of nerves. 

His breath heavy against the shell of your ear. 

“Maybe I'll fuck you on the kitchen table then” he moaned “And you can explain all their broken dishes”

You shook your head “No….C-Court” 

He hummed appreciatively, nuzzling into your neck. “Again” His teeth scraping over your skin. 

“I'm still mad at you” you fought back a moan. Fighting to twist from under him; albeit half heartedly 

“Good” he growled deeply, his fingers pumping faster.  

“Court, please”

Another appreciative hum “And the best part,” he breathed “They'll never know I made you scream my name finger fucking you against their living room wall”

“God,” you breathed, your weight sinking further down the wall, but Court's hand kept you in one place. 

Your body started to shake and you had to make a conscious effort to stay standing. Your knees had other ideas, giving out from under you, Court's arm locking around your waist, but his fingers never stopped. 

He threaded your fingers together and you squeezed hard. Your other arm dropping to land heavy on his shoulder. 

You rocked against his hand, moaning into his shoulder before you pushed back against the wall, using it for leverage as you came hard. 

You stood up straight as Court pulled his hand from between your thighs and you tied your robe closed. 

You pushed around him without a word, gasping with surprise as he grabbed your waist, pulling you against him. Neither of you spoke before he kissed you again, your stomach exploded with butterflies as his tongue pushed between your lips, his mouth moved against yours, his arm wrapping around your back as you felt your knees falter; he only kissed you deeper, making your head spin. 

His teeth attached to your bottom lip, pulling gently before releasing his hold, making you gasp into his mouth. 

You turned out of his hold and he let you go, watching as you climbed the stairs. The throbbing between your thighs, a reminder of the insatiable need you had for him to be close. 

Pushing from your thoughts as best you could you climbed the stairs to the bathroom, feeling Court's eyes on your back the whole way. 

“I'm getting in the shower” you said without turning around

[azriona]

WIP Word Game

Rules: You will be given a word. Share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that starts with each letter of that word.

Thanks to @thetimemoves for tagging me!

My word is NAPE.

Fairy Tale Kiss doesn’t exactly work as a WIP anymore, does it? But the sequel to it does (since it’s in editing mode and will shortly go to beta). All of these are dialogue, and two of them are said by Tony Stark, which is pure coincidence. One’s clearly Bucky, and the fourth I’ll leave a mystery. 😊

N

“Nah, this is just some cheese we picked up over Paris. A couple baguettes. You know the drill.”

A

“Aw, Tony, I love you too.”

P

“Pepper would understand. I think she expects this shit, honestly.”

E

“Ended up going by my parents’ old brownstone, the one they bought in ’34. Guess that’s where Becca lived until she died, it’s how Stevie remembered where it was. I didn’t.”

Per usual, tagging the last four authors who interacted with my blog in some way.

@paula-in-dreamland, @cecebeanie, @nheirei, @2nd2ndalto

The new word is CARPET.

[plasticfangtastic]

Building Blocks. Ch. 2

A Butchlander fanfic

a/n: took a while but i managed to write something, updates will be slow but thank you for reading, not proofread I die with this as i ease myself into this again.

edit... forgot to add link to prev chap:

tags: slow burn, romance, dadlander, drama.

Sypnopsis: au where Becca stays with Butcher and passes Ryan as Billy's and is Billy who has to deal with Homelander after the death of his wife

Chapter 2

The woman stared at the vial with incredulity.

He hadn’t invited her in to talk simply handling her this vial on his driveway, naming it ‘Compound V’... something she had never heard before– before asking her to leave and keep low, he didn’t offer explanations simply asking for her hand in case he had to do disappear with Ryan on a short notice, whatever had happened it had him on edge and anxious to get her away from him as soon as possible either for his or her own safety she guessed. So she forgave his rudeness for whatever this was, had him hearing specters in the grass– It certainly wasn’t because he wanted to clean up the place for Ryan based on his appearance clean clothes but dirty hair, the smoke coming from the chimney was the only unusual thing she noted

“What’s on your mind?” She asks, unable to stand his troubled expression any longer.

“I don’t know if am gonna be in trouble.” He smiles weerily– but I’ll need to keep him distracted if I hope to get away from him.”

“Him?”

“Homelander…”

“What does he have to do with any of this?”

“You need to leave Mallory.”

She should’ve found a way to keep an eye on him, but she took the vial and left. Sensing a peculiar unease in his voice that didn’t often come from him.

“Is a bit warm to have the fireplace lit up.”

Butcher meet the Supe in his living room almost having a heart attack on the spot, he looked away trying to calm himself while hoping the Supe had been too self-absorbed to notice but Homelander had just chosen not to care, having more pressing matters in mind.

 Seeing he’d brought a gift box, Butcher studied his appearance, it look rigid yet desperate to appear approachable– boots had been polished and oiled, his gloves tucked under his arm, the flap of his suit down to reveal patriotic red, and his hair had been re-touched overnight there had been more brown on his undercut last time, now it had an almost strawberry tint blending into the browns to appear more natural if he had to take a guest, even brushed to the side lightly, Butcher scoffed finding it all quite funny that he would do all of this to look so artificial– no sterile instead of just looking like whatever his normal self was, perhaps all celebs were like this Butcher thought, yet he did found the present a bit charming.

“I thought I would bring him a present.” He said softly.

“I was burning some stuff…” He picks a couple cushions off the ground, kicking a dog’s toy to the side– what’s in the box?”

“A baseball glove– it’s my favorite sport. I want to share my passion, I guess.” 

Butcher examines the rather fancy wrapping of the box, there’s layers to it allowing decorations to be tucked in the sleeves, and for the life of him, he can’t find much tape on the sides of it, even the paper had a visible thickness to it that screamed excessive… that said ‘I want to impress you’ in cursive.

“I thought… well my assistant thought it would be a nice way to get to know each other” from one of the paper sleeves he pulls forward a set of tickets– there’s a Yankees’s game next week.”

“I don’t know” He has one look at the tickets– ‘Legends Suite’?? Those are great, no…”

“I thought of getting a private suite but I was discouraged”

Butcher took a deep breath trying to ignore the sparkles from the gift and back to business.

“Look… I… I don’t think you can just come in and tell him you’re his dad, his mom just died, he’s going thru a lot, mate.” He said softly, trying to sound as gentle as he could thinking of the burn scuff marks on his hardwood, hoping it wouldn’t be him, he had a handful of guns hidden across his living room but he knew that it wouldn’t do a thing against the blond– I… think we need to slow down”

“Work friends.”

“What?”

“You work for the CIA, I’m a superhero, we worked together on some cases and we are friends. I came today to give you my condolences and try to cheer you up, and then once Ryan is comfortable with me, I’ll do the honors.” He takes a step closer to Butcher pressing the tickets against his chest– eight guns all over the house… that’s a nice rifle in the closet… packs a hard punch. Try it, find out what’s gonna happen to you if you do.”

Butcher can only scowl at the man.

“We can work together, William. I want this to work out for the sake of my son… but don’t test me.”

“You’re not very good with people are you?”

“I’m a professional actually.” His eyes flash red for a brief moment but his charming smile never fades.

“Come back later. When we’re having dinner.”

“Why? He’s a minute away?”

Butcher walked towards the entrance standing by the red door to catch a glimpse of his in-law’s honda accord driving down the road as it emerged from the trees and shrubs.

He turned in a panic, to see Homelander had followed him half-way.

“You stay in the living room!” He screamed with panic.

Homelander paid attention to the man’s heart rate hoping he would just have a heart attack and die, but as the car moved closer he realized it wasn’t Butcher’s heart rate that he could hear drumming in his ears, but his own.

He wished he had a mirror and somebody to check his teeth, he wanted to make the perfect first impression, and as those light steps hopped off the honda, he could heard a voice in his head yelling, telling him to check his posture, to smile, to breathe calmly and by god to not curse in front of the child or cry, or blurt out something that could only scar him.

He hated the story they were gonna sell him, he wanted to run to him and tell him, he was his father, he wanted to rid of Butcher and take his place beside him, but he couldn’t… he couldn’t risk being rejected by him, when he had this man in his life already, a father that had loved him and protected him, and who at least hadn’t thrown him out, he had at least heard him– he almost wished Saunders was here, if she was he could simply seduced her and take them away from Butcher.

It would’ve been easy if Butcher was a woman, no pretense where the baby came from from the get go, he could’ve lowered himself to seduce the grieving widow if he had to.

As he smelled the anxiety rise from inside of him, he blushed at the thought.

“Feeling better, Billy?”

The older man whose eyes looked more tired than Butcher’s spoke first, after urging the kid to let his dog take a leak before coming inside the house.

He stared at his son-in-law, watching those swollen under eyes, he reeked of mouthwash and his clothes looked crinkled, nervously looking past him to catch a glimpse of Terror or Ryan.

“You really made yourself a fool. You weren’t the only one grieving and you had to make a scene in front of your kid, fucking shameless Billy!”

“I don’t need this, Wayne!” He squeezed his fists– thank you for looking after him, but mind your business.” He spat

“She was my daughter too.” He could’ve growled at him, he looked away with a huff before he could say anything else, both men trying to hold their rage and grief back, both eyes stinging as they looked at each other– feed the kid will ya? He didn’t wanna eat anything and barely got him to have some oats.”

“Thanks for taking care of him, I’ll get some chinese.”

His tone was overly polite and just as aggressive, both men didn’t wish to mingle any further, now without her they didn’t need to be friendly, just amiable enough to not push the other away.

Ryan emerged right on queue, he looked anxious as he let the old stubby dog pull on his leash, barking cheerfully, picking up speed as he saw his dad, his brown locks messy and his eyes just as exhausted as the ones on his pops, Ryan slowed down telling himself to keep smiling not ‘cuz he wanted to but for his father’s sake.

“Hi there scamp!” Butcher doesn’t hesitate taking him in his arms, lifting him up as if he was still a babe and light as a feather, squeezing in to make sure this is not but a dream, and from afar the younger man wished that was him.

Ryan said goodbye and it almost felt like it would be the last time he would see his grandfather something was off about his father, something that smelled wrong, his dog barged in wobbling straight to his food bowl barely noticing the supe in the living room, not that he could say the same about the boy.

His eyes glued themselves on that man, lifting his head, begging to be let go as he traded incredulous looks with his father.

“Dad, why is Homelander in our living room!?”

“I… we…”

“I’m a friend of your dad, from work!” His voice was forceful and rehearsed, irking Billy from the get-go– is nice to meet you, champ!”

Billy kept him close, never letting go of him, hand cemented on his son’s shoulder.

“You know Homelander!?” He said with a childish excitement.

“We met on a case. Top-secret.” he winks– he’s here to visit.” Butcher spits anxiously brushing his hair in a soothing motion.

“I heard about your mom… your dad has been such a good friend of mine, I just wanted to see if you— he was okay.” His voice is so fake it goes back to being believable– here I got you a present.”

The kid took a second to process it, looking back for permission before taking the ornate box into his hands. He waits for a nod before tearing that wrapper off, his excitement shortly dwindles as he finds the leather glove and white and red ball.

“Thought we could go watch a baseball game.”

He looks at the tickets only recognizing the Yankee’s as a big name team and nothing else. Homelander can almost taste his anxiety. This was not what he envisioned, it was completely wrong, voices yelling at him asking why the child wasn’t running after him or why he wasn’t jumping with excitement at his sight! He was the world’s greatest everything and the kid just seemed confused. The kid offered a polite smile and said thank you, taking his present and placing it neatly on the coffee table, as Homelander tried so hard… begging himself to not cry, that voice soothed him telling him he had missed the moment their fingers grazed each other.

“Can’t believe you know Homelander, dad.” the kid took his phone out– can we take a selfie none of my friends will ever believe me!”

That left a bitter taste on his tongue, his first interaction was no different from a paid one, he obliged putting his finest smile, his bitterness washed away as he felt those brown locks tickle his chin, as he took a scent of hypoallergenic detergent and dove soap, the little bit of sweat behind his ears, he could feel how warm his boy was, it was short lived but it lingered… etched on what little skin he’d touched, it soothed him, it made it so real, he could burst.

Ryan was his own… he wasn’t a figment of his imagination… he was flesh and blood, he looked healthy… he was tall and his teeth were straight but above all– he had his eyes and a chirpy voice.

“Mister Homelander needs to go back to work, he was just stopping by, right?”

“...William…”

“lol he called you William” he giggled– thanks for the present!”

“No problem, my pleasure. So do I pick you guys up for the game or meet you at the stadium?”

Butcher tensed up, knowing he really had no choice but to give him an answer, unable to kick him out.

“What do you think buddy? Wanna go check it out? They’re good seats.”

Ryan studied his father’s face seeing how forceful his calmness was, Ryan who only wanted to erase that drunken mess from the other day, looked towards the Supe and how his eyes glistened as they waited for a response.

“Why not!” He said cheerily– I’ve never been to a game before.”

“That’s settled! Now why don’t you go take this to your room and let me and ol’ Homelander have a chat.” Butcher could scream.

The kid isn’t oblivious to the sudden tension between them, brushing it off to bad timing.

“He looks a lot like you.”

Homelander comes back to earth as he’s spoken, giving Butcher his attention once more.

“He… goddammit Becca…” He sniffed, covering his face behind his palms, sinking on his couch as he processed it all– please leave… I’ll be there. I bet you won’t leave me the fuck alone otherwise.”

“I’m glad we are on the same page there, William.” His voice is oddly soft– he’s a lot taller than in the pictures… he doesn’t like baseball does he?”

“You might’ve well invited him to go watch Golf!”

“I can… I can get some other tickets… soccer, you guys have a passport right?”

“He doesn't, we never left the states and am not taking a bloody plane to go watch a match with a stranger.”

“I’m not a stranger! I’m Homelander, the most famous person in the whole world! Can get you a copy of my biography if ya like so you can get to know me.” He says with a sneer– can I stay for dinner then?”

Butcher can only describe his emotion as exasperated.

“I was joking…” He says with his prettiest smile showing his fangs as he pretended not to be hurt– see you next week.”

He lingers at the door, despite his eyes looking into the gardens Butcher can tell he’s listening to those behind him, he’s gone and all that remains is the wide open door.

The days go by excruciatingly fast, in a blink he’s in front of his bathroom mirror trimming his beard, it had been a while since he had bothered to keep tidy, ashamed to have looked this disheveled during his wife’s funeral, outside his bathroom door is Ryan who seems to be more well put than he is talking about wanting to check out some spots while they are in New York if they can after the game sounding so normal it scared him– kids were resilient creatures he said to himself, but he worried that the boy was pretending to be alright. The in-laws had visited, M.M. and his family had stopped by and even help clean up (more like Marvin had simply not stopped himself once he spotted a few too many dirty plates for his taste) he couldn’t say the same about himself until this moment. 

Mallory gave him a call and asked him ‘what was his fucking problem?’ whatever he had given her, she’d ended up being called to speak with not just the head of the CIA but the department of Homeland security, she was now without doubt being watched, told to keep quiet and some more.

Calling Butcher was dangerous hence the burner number, he couldn’t see a single suspicious car outside, it would be hard to hide when there was only miles of greenery.

He took a sip of whisky trying to wash away the anxiety of being washed, disconnecting the house phone just to feel safer.

Ryan made no mention about how low the radio volume was, about how quiet he was on the way there, trying not to think of the endless bickering and chatting between his parents, his mother’s scent lingering in the air, her dried coffee tumbler still on the cup holder, an abandoned sweater still in the backseat that filled the space with fading vanilla kisses, Ryan tries not to notice the ghostly whispers in the air, louder than the aircon and the quiet music.

He speaks very little, just grumbling about traffic and parking, complaining until he’s left the car wondering if the parking fee had been too steep for he had never bothered before.

“I can’t see him…” Ryan whispers tugging on Butcher’s shirt.

His cheeks were red knowing he had never once bothered to organize any of this, he simply showed up, not wanting to believe any of this was real, the tickets certainly looked real and the bustling crowd grew bigger and bigger, just a sea of branded clothes and loud people.

It feels hot and heavy as it presses on his shoulder, jolting awake as his body is pushed back effortlessly.

“William you came.” he sounds so happy it hurts.

He hadn’t expected to see him like this, taking a minute to process his appearance, the oversized baseball bomber jacket did very little to hide his thin frame, he expected the padded suit to have been merely ascending his physique not inventing it, Homelander mellow smile died quickly as he felt that man’s piercing gaze on him.

“Wasn’t sure ‘bout the traffic so we got here early, didn’t we?”

“I was gonna say my meeting ran late.”

Both men stared at each other awkwardly, waiting for the child’s response.

With a smile from the boy they both took that as their sign.

He watched from behind as Homelander stood closer and closer to Butcher, how he directed him across the building as if he knew every turn and nook of the stadium, how friendly he was being with him, how much attention he was giving him and his father.

For a game that he had no understanding of, he would admit it was nice that the supe was a walking wiki, both Ryan and Butcher expend most of the time listening to his explanations, it didn’t come off as somebody enamored with his voice, but as someone who wanted to share and they were happy to hear him, it made Homelander’s heart tingle as they asked him to explain what just happened before them or why people were booing upstairs.

Ryan and Butcher could only guess what was going on in his head but he was not scary at all.

he was nice.

“Thanks, I think the kid liked it.” he turned to him as they waited for Ryan to come out the toilet– it was good to get out of the house.”

Butcher didn’t want to admit he’d had a good time even if it was all gibberish to him.

“I got us some dinner reservations…”

“Normal people get full after some steak topped fries and fried chicken subs, sorry but I think we have to pass–

“You and me tomorrow.”

“Bit too early for a rebound.”

Homelander blushed, realizing how it had come out as.

Butcher tried to brush it off with a chuckle turning awkward as he realized this guy wasn’t his buddy so not used to his banter.

“Discussing Ryan! As if you’ve be so lucky.” Homelander fixed his jacket– I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow night. Also tell your friend Mallory she has nothing to worry about, just tell her not to be nosey.”

“I gather this Compound V shite is–

“Shhh... Hope you like Indian.”

“I’m english mate I sure luv me a tikka massala…”

“Good.”

[mysticstarlightduck]

WIP Drinking Tag Game!

I was tagged by @kaylinalexanderbooks for this one (here)! Thank you for the tag!

Since I already did this tag game for Enchanted Illusions (my current main WIP), I'll do this one for Mutant Inquiries!

Take a shot (don't actually do this tho) when:

1. Cass Holborn stresses about money or nearly grounds their entire vigilante group to keep them from doing something truly stupid.

2. Becca and Cory act like two unsupervised gremlins and do something they absolutely should not do, like becoming informants for a vigilante in investigating the mob (which happens to be a group led by Cory's corrupt boss)

3. Killien Lux has an identity crisis and copes in the most unhealthy and unhinged ways possible

4. Alexey regrets his entire life choices and wishes he could just be alone at home, enjoying a good book with his cat, instead of fighting the government

5. Samantha refuses to understand what "don't do it" means and does it anyways

5. Matthias gives the benefit of the doubt to someone he should not

6. Someone hotwires/steals a flying car/shuttle and it goes horribly wrong

7. Nate sets something on fire. On purpose

8. Violet's home life proves just how chaotic it can be throughout the entire story

@dreaminggoblin, @mitchell-nihil, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams,@yet-another-heathen @talesofsorrowandofruin, @thetruearchmagos, @winterandwords, @i-can-even-burn-salad, @clairelsonao3, @little-peril-stories, and OPEN TAG

[stuckybingo]

Stucky Bingo Round-Up #20 (March 17th - 30th)

If you would like a shiny Bingo Card of your own, you can fill out this form! Don’t forget to fill out the submission form to be a part of the round-ups and to get your bingo badges!

A Wedding to Remember by SucculentHyena Square filled: N2 - Time Loop Ao3 rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply, Murder, Suicide, Alcohol, Drug Use Major tags: Modern AU, Time Loop, Palm Springs (2020) Fusion, Romance Summary: It’s Becca’s wedding, her happiest day. Bucky just wants it to go as planned. And it does! Repeatedly. Format: Part of a multichapter fic

Euclus 7 by SucculentHyena Square filled: N1 - Whump Ao3 rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply, Blood, Self-Harm, Domestic Terrorism Major tags: Sickfic, Virus, Delusions Summary: A designer virus has gone missing from safe storage and used as a bioweapon in New York. The Avengers are called in to help. Format: Part of a multichapter fic

Energy - Chapter 2 by KingofSorrow_20 Square filled: O4 - AU - ShrunkyClunks Ao3 rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Organized Crime,Steve is a Crime Boss, Sex Worker Bucky, Light Dom/sub, Daddy Kink Summary: “Hey big boy. Did you like my present?” Steve couldn’t deny that Natasha was one of two people that could talk to him like that. Taunt him. “Well, I didn’t send it back now, did I?” He also couldn’t help but be bitchy about it. Natasha played. It’s what she did and now Steve was part of one of her many games. Format: Part of a multichapter fic

Between New York and What Comes Knocking by dontcallmebree Square filled: Adopted square (March) - Helicarrier Ao3 rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Canon Divergence, Humor, Light Angst Summary: Taking a deep breath, Sharon finally looks at him from the corner of her eye with a hint of uncertainty. In the light of the streetlamps and the rapidly passing headlights, Sharon looks younger than he’d’ve first guessed. How young does Shield recruit? Steve thinks back to Bucky, sent to die at 26. (Sharon Carter is a daredevil behind the wheel, a subpar baker, and sufficiently gay. Steve learns this in quick succession.) Format: Medium oneshot (1000 - 5000 words)

[daydreamgoddess14]

My bad habits lead to you pt. 5

MASTERLIST

Sequel to We lie awake in love and fear

From a prompt by @lilacmermaid25:

5 times Ted returns from Kansas for a wedding, one time he returns 'just because'.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Here we go... nearly at the end now. Sorry in advance for the cliffhanger! 😘

Chapter 5

Colin and Michael - New Year's Day 2025

From: rebecca.welton@richmondafc.com

To: henlasso@gmail.com

Date: 31st November 2024

Subject: Stuff

Hello Henry,

Thanks for your email, I hope you've recovered from Thanksgiving? How's the TIE Fighter coming along? You'll have to send me a photo next time. I was thinking of getting a Millenium Falcon for Christmas but I'm not sure your mum would want it taking up her house! Maybe I can get one and you can keep it here. I'm sorry to hear about your dad and Marie, you were right - he didn't tell me. I hope he's OK, he told me what you said when you came over last time. He wants to be close to you, and I can't blame him - you're so much fun to hang out with! Next time you visit we'll have to plan some days out - as long as you don't mind me tagging along?

Speak to you soon!

With warm regards, Rebecca

(Hi Michelle, of course I don't mind, it's lovely to hear from both of you. I sometimes wonder what might have happened if Ted hadn't been so stubborn in keeping his UK and Kansas lives so separate. Take care, R)

From: henlasso@gmail.com

To: rebecca.welton@richmondafc.com

Date: 7th December 2024

Subject: Christmas 

Hey Becca (can I call you that? Dad does so…?),

I hope you're ready for Christmas? I can't wait to visit again, I hope I can get dad to agree to take me in the spring. It would be so cool to have a Millenium Falcon! But it is huge, mom said it could live at yours and we can build it together when I visit. I asked mom whether I could visit more but she said it's up to my dad. 

Thanks for the Roblox credits! There's a way cool new game on there I want to try!

Love H xoxo

Hey Rebecca, at this point I think Henry’s ready to hop on a plane alone to visit. He misses Richmond so much! I think I'll join him! It's a shame Ted can't understand that it's not just about where he is. I'm guessing you haven't spoken to him recently but he's probably less present a few blocks away than he was 4000 miles away. How can I persuade him that home isn't a place? After what I've heard about/from Marie, I get it now. It's you. Will keep trying, but you know how stubborn he is! Speak soon, Chelle xo

From: rebecca.welton@richmondafc.com

To: henlasso@gmail.com

Date: 18th December 2024

Subject: Christmas 

Hi both! 

Did you get the Christmas box OK? Just some things for both of you. The Falcon is safe in my office ready for when you visit! 

You're both welcome to visit whenever you want - without Ted if you wish! 

(Here’s the boring bit for mum! If only you knew the things I suggested to him. Schools for both of you - anything you wanted or needed. I know it was too much to ask of you though. Just as I'd never ask Ted to leave Henry, he'd never ask you to uproot your lives in Kansas. It's not about me, I know this is the sacrifice he believes he needs to make as a parent.)

We had a crazy Christmas party this week - Isaac dressed as Santa again and we somehow managed to get Jamie to dress up as an Elf! I've sent some of the tamer pictures for you, but it did get wild! Nate has got a new Karaoke machine and it gets a bit of a workout every Friday after training. I’m pretty sure it’s just so Roy can go and do some work in peace though and he knows they won’t bother him. I’m going to Leslie’s for Christmas dinner this year, but first I have to go and take some gifts to some families in the community. I’ll pop in and say hello to Mae for you, H - she asks after you all the time! She suggested one of the gifts in your box - I wonder if you can guess which one?!

Love, Becca (of course you can call me Becca, darling. I love it!) xxx

From: henlasso@gmail.com

To: rebecca.welton@richmondafc.com

Date: 24th December 2024

Subject: Christmas 

Hi Becca,

Merry Christmas!

Your gift box was way too generous - thank you! Henry loved all of it - especially the dart board! And I'm so grateful for the things you included for me, you really shouldn't have! 

Hen told his dad that we'd been mailing you, I think he was a little surprised! 

I don't think you overstepped by looking into schools etc. It just shows how much you care for Ted - for all of us, really. Things were obviously a bit strained at the time with Jake around. Turns out he wasn’t as great as I thought - always the way!  

Have a great Christmas & hopefully we'll get to see you soon. 

Love, Chelle & H xoxo

~~~~~~~~~

Rebecca beamed at her inbox, the month she’d spent exchanging emails with Henry and Michelle had been lovely - her responses had gotten less and less formal and she’d really been able to see Michelle in a new light. Though she hadn’t heard from Ted personally and therefore wasn’t supposed to know about his split with Marie, she was grateful that Henry had told her. It had brought her so much joy to send a huge gift basket over to them for Christmas. She’d laughed hysterically at the thought of Henry and Michelle trawling through the big box with gifts for both of them while Ted looked on utterly bemused. She’d sent a box to him too, a separate one with new LASSO Richmond shirts - she hadn’t taken him off the staff workwear order list so every few months a handful of new training polos arrived for him, she’d taken to sleeping in them. She’d also put a really great picture of the two of them from Keeley and Roy’s wedding where they’d been laughing together in the box along with the snacks she knew he’d come to love which he couldn’t get in the US. She’d had the guru in the IT department burn a CD for her - to their horror - of songs she’d noted that reminded her of Ted. She could picture him driving Henry to school and the Macarena coming on. She’d had a wonderful Christmas dinner with the Higgins’ and members of the team who didn’t have family locally. Since the year when everyone had descended on his house, the event had remained popular and once she’d done her gift deliveries she’d joined them. She’d taken photos of the huge table - the surfboard needed to be used again, selfies with half the team and Julie, and sent them to Ted. She’d video called Keeley, Roy and Jamie who’d had a quiet morning but were expecting Phoebe for a sleepover, she’d caught up with her mother, Sassy and Nora and exchanged messages with Trent. By 10pm she was back home and exhausted. She poured a large glass of wine and took it to her sitting room where she could put her feet up and Netflix on. Her phone buzzed on the arm of the sofa with a call from Ted.

“Hello stranger. Merry Christmas.”

“Hey Becca, Merry Christmas. Sorry it’s been a while.”

“I’ll forgive you. How’s your day going?” She checked her watch, late afternoon for Ted.

“So far so good. Been at Michelle’s with Hen and both of our moms.”

“Hmm… ouch?”

“Something like that. I keep running into Michelle in the kitchen trying to hide from them. Henry keeps dragging us back in so he doesn’t have to handle them alone.”

“Poor boy, you can’t do that to him!”

“Good job someone sent him a heap of lego to keep him busy?”

“If you think that’s a lot of lego, you should see my home office.”

“You didn’t have to, you know?”

“I wanted to. Henry means a lot to me, he deserves to be spoiled.” 

“And Michelle?  I didn’t realise my ex wife and my… you had gotten so close.”

“My you? We’ve made a connection, that’s all. And I remember you said she’d heard about my skincare routine so I thought I’d send some products. One of those luxuries she’d never purchase for herself.”

“At 200 dollars a bottle?”

“Ted, we’re in our forties, I have no intention of looking like my father when I get to 70 and ‘m sure neither does Michelle. We have to take care of ourselves.” He didn’t respond. “Ted, are you mad that your ex wife and son and I are emailing each other?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know. Why does it feel like you’re all conspiring against me?”

“We would never do that. I don’t know what kind of woman you think I am, Ted, but I distinctly recall telling you that I would never influence your choices when it came to Henry. And Henry and Michelle are looking out for you.”

“Some would call it meddling.”

“Some would call it loving you. If you’re going to be a prick, I’m hanging up. It’s Christmas day and You’ve Got Mail is on.”

“I’m sorry, you’re right. Of course Henry isn’t meddling, he’s a kid.”

“He knows more than you give him credit for. He knows his own mind, and he knows when the people he loves aren’t happy.” Silence again. “Are you coming over next week? For the wedding?”

“Of course, I’ve got a streak to maintain.” Rebecca choked on her wine. “In that, I haven’t missed a Richmond wedding yet?”

“Right, that streak. Well Colin is very excitable. Everyone is looking forward to seeing you.”

“I’m surprised they’re not sick of me. Is it me or has there been a lot of weddings since I left?”

“No, there has. Keeley and I were talking about it. They all seem to be happening in very quick succession. I’m ready for a break from them now. But you know us, any excuse for a good party.”

“True.” He mused. "How've you been?"

"Good, I've not long gotten back from Leslie’s. Half the team were there, it was a lovely day. Thierry is awful at charades and Richard brought his new Victoria's Secret model girlfriend."

"Sounds fun, what's she like?"

"Oh she's lovely, she's doing a PHD in mechanical engineering. The modelling is just a side hustle."

"Sounds like the premise for a romcom."

"It does, doesn't it? Suffice to say all of the boys were very enamoured with her. Though I think she's far too smart for them."

"Someone I know is remarkably similar, actually."

"Keeley? That's what I said."

"You, sweetheart."

"Don't be silly."

"Underestimated by anyone and everyone."

"Except you."

"Oh I'm definitely stupid enough to have underestimated you in the past. I try to avoid it now." She heard hushed voices in the background of the call, "hang on a sec." She waited for a minute and her phone beeped with a request to switch to video. She accepted and the screen filled with Ted and Henry. 

"Henry!"

"Becca! Merry Christmas!"

"You too! Having fun?"

"Both grandma's are asleep on the sofa. I came to get dad to do some lego."

"You guys had better run then! Can't miss out on lego."

"Have you had a good day?"

"I have, thank you, all the better for seeing you though!"

"Mom says hi, she's starting the book you sent her."

"That's wonderful, darling. You've still got the rest of the day to have fun, it's nearly bedtime for me." Ted watched back and forth, first surprised by Henry calling her 'Becca', then by her calling him 'darling'. "I'll let you both go, thank you for calling me. It was so lovely to hear you both. Ted, I'll see you in a few days? And H, we'll work on a Spring visit? See you soon my love!" She said with a wink.

"Go choose a lego set, Hen, I'll just say goodbye to Becca." Henry disappeared from view, "A Spring visit?"

"We've got some great days out planned. You should join us." Rebecca said with a smirk.

"You're trouble."

"Only occasionally."

"I'll see you in a few days."

"You will. Goodnight, Ted. Merry Christmas."

"Goodnight, Bec. Merry Christmas."

~~~~~~~~

Ted was due to arrive the day before New Year's eve. Rebecca and Keeley had planned on attending the match late afternoon on New Year's eve and then a low key team celebration to see in 2025. Roy had given strict instructions for everyone to have a tame night, nothing wild or crazy, so that they could all be fresh and ready for Colin's wedding. 

"Come on, Jamie!" Rebecca roared alongside Ted as Jamie received the ball from Dani and found space through the center of the pitch. They were 2-0 down and the second half had just started. They needed three goals in the next 45 minutes to avoid struggling in the second half of the season. He hit the post and Rebecca growled in frustration, the ball bounced back towards Sam who managed to get it under control and take a shot of his own. Nelson Road went crazy as Sam's shot found the goal. Rebecca was on her feet, as were Keeley and Ted. The ball was barely back in play when Dani took a shot of his own to make it 2-2.

"I don't know whether I like watching from up here more, or down by the pitch. I didn't realise how excited you get." He said with a knowing grin. 

"Ted, this is nothing - I thought she was going to run down to the pitch during your last game!" Keeley laughed. The match frustratingly slowed down and Richmond were unable to score again, luckily neither did the other team so they settled with a tie. Beard did some complicated math over dinner at Ola's and tried to come up with the various combinations of final standings until Rebecca took his notebook away with a glare, 

"We are 5 months away from the end of the season. We're only halfway through." She sat back down next to Ted and stashed the book into her bag. Isaac's hand came down to knock on the table. 

"Get the karaoke out - Jamie's gotta sing Britney!" he ordered. 

"Why?!"

"You hit the post. Thems the rules bro."

"Nah man, we got the goal!"

"Sammy got the goal. You got the post. Sing for me, pretty boy." Jamie cursed and grumbled while Nate set the machine up. He soon warmed up to his audience and treated them all to a rendition of Toxic - complete with saucy dance moves. 

"It's no Macarena, but that boy can dance." Ted pointed out. 

"One day, I'm sure he'll teach you how to Macarena if it means that much to you." Rebecca soothed. 

"I'd rather learn it from you. Them hips definitely don't lie, honey." They’d hardly left each other's side since he arrived at Nelson Road just in time for the match, they'd also not said a word about Marie. Rebecca could feel the knowledge that he was single coursing through her veins, it both put her on edge and comforted her all at once. It seemed to put more tension between them. Should anything happen, neither of them would be in the wrong this time, but the arrival and departure of both Matthijs and Marie hadn't never really been the issue. They'd just been disguising the original blocker of Ted's move back to Kansas. The karaoke continued despite Roy trying to tame them all. When it became clear that Colin and Michael were also up for a party, no one else had any excuse to leave early. If the grooms wanted to sing karaoke the night before their wedding then the team wouldn't let them down. After much persuasion from Rebecca and Keeley - who'd both worked their way through the Spice Girls back catalogue - Ted was finally on stage. He'd refused to sing alone though so Keeley cued up a duet for him to share with Rebecca. 

Don't go breaking my heart

I couldn't if I tried

Honey if I get restless

Baby you're not that kind

Don't go breaking my heart

You take the weight off of me

Honey when you knock on my door

Ooh, I gave you my key

They bumped hips in time to the music, Rebecca’s arm over his shoulder and a shared microphone between them. Around the room, the team loved every second. 

Woo hoo

Nobody knows it

But when I was down

I was your clown

Woo hoo

Nobody knows it

Right from the start

I gave you my heart

Oh-oh

I give you my heart

Rebecca pointed at Ted, singing every word to him. He joined in, laughing and spinning her around. Jamie watched curiously,

"Ey, are they together or what?" He nudged Roy.

"Fuck if I know." 

"I mean, they look like they're together. They act like it. Do ya reckon they've fucked?"

"Course they have." Despite having asked the question, Jamie still nearly fell off his chair in shock. 

"Fuck offffffff! How'd you know?"

"Cos I fuckin' know."

"Keeley told ya dint she?"

"No, she wouldn't tell me anything. I guessed. And I had to go back to our room at Beard's wedding so I overheard them. Scarred me for life."

"Obviously dint scar ya that much, me an Keeley had a great night." He teased. "I can't believe it. I mean, I can, it's just weird to think about."

"Too weird to think about?"

"Too fuckin weird."

"What's weird?" Keeley asked, squeezing between them. 

"Ted and Rebecca fucking."

"That's not weird. That would literally be the hottest thing in the world. I'd combust."

"Hang on, hang on, you've got us… but you wanna watch that?" Jamie asked, affronted. Keeley nodded her head, 

"Duhhh! Anyway, it's nearly midnight so get ready for a snog boys!" Sam managed to wrestle the microphone from Beard and gave them a two minute heads up. He switched the speakers to the radio for the countdown and went back to drag Simi away from the bar where she was lining up row after row of shots. Ted returned to Rebecca after catching up with Nate for a while. 

"So, boss-"

"Not your boss, Ted."

"If you say so. Who ya kissing at midnight? Keeley Jones-Kent? Beardo the Weirdo?"

"You?"

"Me? You sure about that?"

"I'm not fully convinced, but I don't exactly have long left to find an alternative." Ted turned to face her. 

"You want an alternative? How 'bout Dani?"

"Hmm. Both girlfriends are here."

"Jan?"

"You?" She suggested again, an exasperated smile forming. 

"Back to me again, huh? Wow you're really limited on options." In the background, the team were counting down. 

"Oh, I think you might be the best option." She leaned in towards him, 

Six, five, -

"In fact, you're the only option."

Four, three, two, -

She hesitated briefly halfway to a kiss, but of course, he met her in the middle. 

One! Happy New Year!

The noise of their family around them faded into the background as Ted's hand cupped the back of her head and his fingers tangled into her hair. He pulled her closer, sliding along the bench to bridge the gap between them. 

"Happy New Year, Becca." He whispered, resting his forehead against hers. 

"Happy New Year." She went to lean back in to kiss him again, "Will you come back with me tonight?"

"Sure will, sweetheart, if that's what you want?"

~~~~~~~

The party quickly began to fade with the new year coming in. Colin and Michael left to try and get some rest before the next day. With Leslie, Julie, Trent and the other older members of the group heading out, Rebecca and Ted decided to join them. They all jumped into a selection of waiting Ubers, calling out goodnight, blowing kisses and looking forward to the wedding. No one said a word when Ted got into Rebecca’s cab. She leaned against him in the back seat, her hand on his thigh and his hand tracing patterns down her arm. At her house, he helped her out of her coat and followed her upstairs where he unzipped her dress. She sat on the edge of the bed while he removed her high heels, a hand stroking up her calf. She pulled the dress up and over her head, leaving her in the lingerie set she told him she brought with him in mind. He sat back on his heels with a smile.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you," she said shyly. "I missed you." She reached out for him. "I've had enough of quick, stolen moments."

"Tell me what you need, baby?"

"I need you to make love to me, Ted." He stood up to remove his clothes while she watched. He blushed, but she pulled him towards her by the waistband of his boxers and kissed a line from one hip to the other. She palmed the hard line in his boxers but he gripped her wrist before she could touch him any more. He pushed her gently back onto the bed, still holding her wrists, and raised them above her head. 

"Keep those hands right there for me, honey."  He muttered against her skin, then he kissed a hot path down her body, his mustache scratching against her stomach and hips. "I just realised the most terrible thing." He said, pulling her lace knickers down. He pulled her thighs apart and dragged her down to the edge of the bed. "I haven't gone down on you since the first time."

"That can't be true." She whined as he licked through her folds. He stopped to reply, making her moan with the loss of contact. 

"Sure is baby, it's been more than a year of quick, stolen moments, remember?" Before she could reply again, his mouth was on her clit and he was pumping two fingers inside her. He had her on the edge almost immediately, knowing exactly where and how she needed him. She came hard, her hands still above her head but frantically gripping the sheets. He didn't let up as she came, he continued to suck and tease her until her thighs clenched around him again. Unable to touch him with her hands, she ground her hips against his mouth, desperate for more contact, more of him. He took his time so he could really see her fall apart, he'd missed being able to drag it out for her - they’d had such little time together. When he released her clit with a pop, she moved her legs and reached to pull him up the bed. "Where d'ya want me, sweetheart?" He asked, hands coveting her body, biting a nipple through her bra. 

"Sit up." He did as she asked, back against the headboard. She straddled his lap and wasted no time in sinking down onto him. 

"Hmm, thought we were taking our time?" He asked, grunting into her collarbone as she settled. She stopped moving, 

"Maybe you were. Shall I go slow?" She teased, bringing his face up to her. She ground her hips so slowly, it was like she'd barely moved at all. They both groaned deeply. She fucked him slowly, languidly, rising and falling onto his cock at an agonising pace. The friction against her clit was exquisite each time she rolled her hips. The tension built until they were both mumbling each other's names and little else. Rebecca captured Ted’s mouth in a filthy kiss, sending them both over the edge as he gripped her hips tightly while he spilled inside her. He held her against him as they caught their breath.

"Fuck, Becca. I love you." They fell asleep together quickly, knowing that for the first time in over a year, they'd also wake up together. Their morning together reminded Rebecca of the morning after their first time - right before Ted had left. Before Matthijs, before Marie. She woke to him spooned around her, hands roaming her body. He pulled her leg back to hook over the back of his knee and open her up to him. His hand snaked across her waist, dipped to guide himself into her and then rolled around her clit until she reached behind her to pull him into a messy kiss. Then in the shower, he’d gotten to his knees while she was trying to wash her hair. In the kitchen, bent over her kitchen table, just as he’d dreamed about. And then finally, on the stairs before they left for the wedding.

~~~~~~~~

Rebecca watched Colin fiddle with his tie again. The young Welshman looked more nervous than she had ever seen. She couldn't hold herself still any longer. She passed Ted her bag and brushed past him. It was only a few steps to the front of the room where she took his hands away from his tie and held them gently. Ted watched her smile at the young man, she talked quietly to him as she released his hands, unknotted and retied the tie. She kissed his cheek, also turned to Isaac alongside him, and held his hand for a second before popping back to her seat.

"Soccer mom." Ted teased. 

"Fuck you."

"Please do. That was very sweet, is he OK?"

"Have you not had enough of me since midnight?" she asked, eyebrows raised. "He's nervous. He'll be fine. The very public declarations of love are the hardest part." Michael appeared in the doorway, appearing far calmer than Colin. 

"There's no such thing as enough of you." He whispered. Once again, Rebecca cried during the ceremony while Ted supplied tissues and held her hand. Once the ceremony was over, the attendees headed toward the bar. Colinand Michael had chosen a lovely boutique hotel in central London for their venue, both families had descended en masse along with seemingly all of Richmond. 

“Someone had a good night.” Keeley said to Rebecca while Ted was at the bar with Roy and Jamie.

“Are we talking about you guys? Because, I would probably pay to watch that.”

“Aww babe! I’d let you watch for free. I meant you though.”

“You’re too kind.”

“You’re glowing. The kind of glow that only comes from about 5 orgasms.”

“Pretty sure it was more like 7 or 8.” Rebecca muttered.

“Fuck me!”

“I’m a bit tired actually, can we reschedule?” 

“I’m not surprised you’re tired! How are you still standing?!” Keeley asked gleefully.

“No idea. Gin and the promise of more?”

“Yeah that’d probably keep me going too. So are you… together? Giving it a go?” Ted was on his way over with Roy and the drinks.

“No idea, haven’t talked yet. Mostly just fucked.” Rebecca managed to admit just before they were in earshot.

“Hi Ted!” Keeley greeted him with a knowing grin. “Get back to Mae’s ok last night?” She asked innocently.

“Hey Keels,” he kissed her cheek, “did you guys have a good night? I stayed at Rebecca’s last night, shared a cab y’know. New Year's Eve, crazy Uber prices and all that.”

“Hmm yeah. I mean, it’s not like you’re both filthy rich or anything. Who needs to spend an extra 30 quid on a taxi, that would just be reckless.” She raised an eyebrow. Rebecca cleared her throat.

“Excuse me, I’m just going to the ladies. Keeley?”

“Nope, I’m good right here thanks babe.” Rebecca hesitated,

“Sure?”

“Yep, off you pop.”

“What is it with you two and off you pop?” Ted questioned as Rebecca disappeared from view.

“I’m asking the questions here, pal.” Keeley spun to face him. “What’s going on?” Ted had a caught in the headlights look about him.

“I… don’t know?” Roy stood behind Keeley shaking his head.

“Wrong answer. You’re in for it now.”

“Wrong answer. You’ve got this whole perfect boyfriend vibe going on since you arrived yesterday, loving on her like you two haven’t been torturing each other for over a year. And she told me about last night. Or this morning. Whichever, whatever.”

“Keeley, I-”

“I want to make sure that you’re not going to hurt her. You have no idea how brightly she shines when you’re around - those little infrequent visits and the hot, sneaky sex and then you bugger off back to Kansas and it’s like she’s not sure of herself.”

“She always shines.”

“She does, yes. But when you’re here it’s… honestly it’s something else. And maybe you don’t see it, but when you’re not here there’s a piece missing.”

“Let me guess, the lemon in the gin? The salt in the tequila?”

“Yes! See - you do get it!”

“Beard said something similar. So did Becca, actually. But they were referring to…” he gestured around the room, the team. “All of this. Everyone.”

“It is everyone, don’t get me wrong. But we all have something, someone. I’ve got Roy and Jamie, Leslie’s got Julie, the team are the team. We all pulled each other along when you first left and we got by, but you just don’t see how much harder it is for her. Going home alone every night? She’s the only one with no one.” Ted looked down into his whiskey. “I, we,” she looked around the room, “care too much for her for her to be alone. We care too much for you too.”

“I’ll bear that in mind. Thanks Keeley.”

“I love you , Ted.”

“I love you too, hon. You’re the best.” He put an arm around her.

“Don’t fuckin’ tell her that, she’ll get a big head.” Roy groaned. “She’s already got enough people under her thumb.”

“Including you, baby!” Keeley replied with a wink and a finger gun.

“Oh god, are we telling Keeley how great she is again?” Rebecca rejoined them.

“I’m the best, apparently.” The younger woman beamed.

“Yes you are, darling. I certainly can’t live without you.” The party soon got into full swing, despite hangovers from the previous night. With Keeley’s comments echoing in his mind, Ted focused on Rebecca. Slow dancing with her, joining her with the team and staying by her side. No one questioned it, no one asked what they were to each other. He stayed at her house again that night. He made her a cup of brown water in the morning to take back up to her in bed, eager to get back to her.

“Goodness me! Ted, you nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“Mornin’ Deborah, nice to see you again.”

“Good morning. Nice to see you’re wearing clothes.”

“Yeah well, Rebecca warned me you have a habit of dropping by unannounced. I’ll go and get her.” They spent the day together, went out for dinner with the coaches, their partners, Leslie, Julie and Trent. Rebecca could almost believe that it was real, that this was their life together. She watched as he packed up the small suitcase he’d retrieved from Mae’s after apologising to her for not once sleeping in the bed he’d paid for. She sat cross-legged in the center of the bed wearing one of his coaching t-shirts. He’d found the drawer full and she’d had to come clean about why she had them. 

~~~~~~~~~

The following morning, he left her with a kiss at the front door to go to the airport. She managed to wait all of 20 minutes before she was hurriedly dressing and following him out of the door. Habit again saw her purchasing another first class ticket.

“Well this feels a lot like deja vu.” He said, stepping away from the ticket desk. “Another first class ticket? Where for this time?”

“I need to say something.” She replied nervously. “I didn’t say it last time, I was too scared. But I can’t let you leave again without saying it. We’ve both ruined potential new relationships because we can’t seem to let go of whatever this is. I need you to know that I love you, Ted. I love you more than anything in the world and I’d do anything if you’d stay. I want-” her voice broke over her tears as she voiced everything she hadn’t said previously. “I want you to come back to me. I want you to come back for me. If it means I spend half a year in Kansas with you, I’d do it. Whatever it takes, I need you to know that I’ll be all in, just say the word. But we can’t keep doing whatever this is. I love you too much to keep stringing this along. I love Henry too much to take you away from him. So we either find a way, or we don’t.” He stepped forwards to hold her as she cried in his arms again. 

Last call for passengers to Paris, France.

“Let me… let me think. Let me talk to Michelle and Henry. God, sweetheart I’d give anything to be selfish right now, but I can’t. I love you, Rebecca. I’ll love you forever, but I need to figure this out first.” She nodded through her tears, her fingers holding onto his until the last moment as he stepped through the gate to his waiting flight.

[alinaastarkov]

2022 End of Year Gifmaker/Creator Tag Game

Cut this into what works for you. Want to do only one instead of five? Do it. Tag 2 people? Do it. But there are a couple of rules:

RULE 1: Review your creations over 2022. Tag some gifmakers/creators, friends and strangers to get them to do the same.

RULE 2: Link to the content, commentary optional.

5 (or more!) creations from others that made you smash the reblog button hard, closely followed by your ‘insp’ tag or ‘fave tag’. Link to sets that started conversations, outstanding composition, coloring, etc.

4 creations of which you’re proud. These are goals you scored. Nothing to do with notes.

3 creations others loved. Include the one that got most notes, great comments, or the classic ‘how dare you!’

2 creations that stretched you as a creator: style, coloring, blending, text, etc. include the one that should have got more notes.

1 creation of yours that you find most aesthetically pleasing to the eye and self AND 1 creation that broke and (maybe remade you) as a creator – we all have that one.

0 the creation that never was because nothing was working that day.

i was tagged by @yenvengerberg​ thank you lovely!! it’s so fun to reflect on the year like this :)

tagging anyone i tagged throughout this and anyone who would like to do it!

(placing under the cut because i tend to go on a bit)

5 (or more) creations that made you smash the reblog button:

there are so many incredible creations (and creators!) who have blown me away this year. unfortunately my brain is a sieve so this will probably be only five but if i’ve left any nice tags on a set just know i thought it was absolutely beautiful!!

i have to start with becca @yenvengerberg​ who (and i don’t know how she does it) has managed to take my breath away and up her game every single time. i truly have no words for the creativity and skill she possesses and i would link every set of hers here if i could. for now though i will mention this jaskier: a bard’s tale set because it has been months and i have no stopped thinking about it. the stunning purple, the number of ways she can make a torn paper effect unique, and just the incredible creativity and composition in making it a cd set?? ingenious.

avia @lamberts​​​ never fails to stun me with her witcher gifsets, the mastery of colours and blending to emotionally destroy us every time blows me away. i fall in love with geraskier as a ship more every time she posts and i think this geraskier + the amazing devil set truly stood out. the blending of purple and orange is striking yet soft, i could honestly stare at it for hours. making something so gorgeous look effortless is such a talent.

jagoda, my talented hoe @ughmerlin​, has been so on top of her game this whole year it is auch a struggle to pick only one. there are so many amazing sets showcasing her creativity and talent that it’s almost impossible to pick one favourite. but this merthur + bigger than the whole sky is honestly so incredible it blew me away seeing it. the orange is so soft, combined with the b&w and the myriad of text effects and overlays you used, honestly made me tear up seeing it. the cassette tapes were genius and i can’t wait to see them become the new thing™️

maria, my merthur genius @arthurpendragonns​, has again blown me away with the talent and creativity this year, i have not been able to rest!! but this 10th merlin anniversary set was such a massive expression of your creativity and genius. the red to orange gradient combo is YOURS and you made it your bitch once again. everything about this stunned me, how you achieved the effects with the wings and the skull and the transitions between each gif??? you’re a master!!

elsbeth, my talented wife @laylakeating​ you never cease to stun me every time i see a set of yours and this weyler + haunted set is so exception. you know how much i love purple and you always deliver, i know how much effort you put into the frame by frame colouring and it shows!! how you made every lyric match every scene and blend them all so flawlessly! you’re an inspiration to us all

4 creations of which you’re proud:

i just did my list of my favourite creations for every month so i will link some sets that didn’t make that list (again mostly sourceblog ones)

these two becoming elizabeth sets (one & two) were fun for me to do after a bit of a break to get back into colouring and blending. there was no pressure cause it’s a smaller fandom, and finally having a show for my historical otp was super nice and making angsty sets is my love language <3

this arya stark + identities one was a real stretch of how much i could colour consistently over multiple shows because i think (and i did count lmao) i used around 13 fancasts/movies/shows to make it and was one of the sets that took me the longest just with the composition

this arya stark and jon snow set, though i know it could be better, was my first real try at the glitch effect. i still need to improve on it but i’m still pretty proud of it for my first attempt, plus their relationship in the books is my favourite so any excuse to gif it is gonna be a fave for me. arya month as a whole was great for stretching me and getting me to think outside the box

3 creations others loved: 

i think i mentioned most of them in my creations per month post, but i have noticed that after the show my rhaenyra in every episode sets seem to keep picking up more notes which is lovely to see!! this is a series i need to finish next year :)

2 creations that stretched you as a creator: 

i do this to myself all the time lmao, and is probably the reason i post so inconsistently. i’m copping out a bit i know but everything i made for jon snow appreciation month and arya appreciation month this year pushed me as a creator and made me think, especially as i was using multiple shows/films to fancast with and keep consistent. overall appreciation months are so fun and allow some flexibility with posting that weeks don’t which makes them excellent for creators imo

1 creation that broke you:

sadly the creations that broke me are the ones that i have yet to perfect and post :/ one day tho hopefully... soon :)

0 creation that never was:

i have... SO many of these lmao. probably dozens of sets in the drafts and half finished (a yennefer set that has been sat there for maybe a year and a half?? comes to mind) and it is my goal this next year to clear them all out (we’ll see how that goes lol). if i had to pick tho i have this shadow and bone + greek gods set (very much inspired by @ughmerlin​’s stunning zodiacs set) that has/is taking me forever to perfect and hopefully (maybe) with s2 it can see the light of day

[curiousdamage]

Last Line Asks

@strikelikeacobrakai and @wanderingspiritys nominated me to play! Here are the rules as I understand them:

I was tagged in two last line wip games:

1) the last line you wrote and tag as many people as there are words.

2)  Write the latest line from each of your wips and tag as many people as there are wips you are working on.

Last line I wrote:

No one does.

I'm tagging @wanderingspiritys, @strikelikeacobrakai, and @dream-beyond-the-fantasy.

I have wayyyy too many WIPS, but I'll post a few for part two

Ten Minutes: No one does. (Yeah, that's a bit of a cheat one) @missviolethunter

@dream-beyond-the-fantasy's Christmas request ( I haven't forgotten you, just a bit delayed): Cara raised an eyebrow but kept her questions to herself.

Tales of Becca-verse: So that’s how Terry came to spend New Year's Eve with Johnny and his family. @theempressar

and:

A Careless Man's Careful Daughter: “No,” he shook his head. “He meant for you to be able to have some fun while you’re here and right now that doesn’t seem like such a bad thing. Maybe you can treat your cousins to a night on the town.” @outforawalkbitkah

[readingbooksinisrael]

In 2022 I did a project of reading a bunch of books related to Winnie-the-Pooh all year. This year I’m going to do a bookopoly project.

Bookopoly is a game created by Becca and The Books on youtube, based on monopoly, which gives prompts to choose books to read. Every year (I think) she does a readathon, called Bookoplathon, and creates a special board for it.

I’m going to take the board from the September 2022 Bookoplathon and attempt to land on every space on it. (Obviously impossible but it’s fun!)

Unlike, with the Winnie-the-Pooh challenge where I summed up all the books at the end of the year, in this one I’m going to post the books as I read them because who knows how many books it’ll end up being?

Tag will be: bookopoly project

[theycallmebecca]

I posted 2,782 times in 2022

381 posts created (14%)

2,401 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@izhunny

@twittytelly

@bloggingfromherbed

@theycallmebecca

@jobean12-blog

I tagged 551 of my posts in 2022

#becca replies to readers - 186 posts

#chris evans - 72 posts

#becca reads - 69 posts

#becca makes mood boards - 58 posts

#mood boards - 52 posts

#theycallmebecca - 47 posts

#becca’s sugary sweet dad collection - 46 posts

#becca writes drabbles - 40 posts

#theycallmebeccawrites - 40 posts

#becca's sugary sweet dad collection - 39 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#they purchased like a million dollars worth of medical debt for people in their community and forgave it using this debt buying strategy

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Drabble: Box of Chocolates

My friend challenged me to write a drabble inspired by Chris being the voice of Godiva chocolate. So here y’all go.

Title: Box of Chocolates

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: suggestive

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

Hearing the video call alert on your phone, you grabbed it and smiled when you saw Chris’s name. You accepted the call and then waited for it to connect.

“Hey, babe,” Chris greeted, his face super close to the screen.

“Hey, handsome,” you replied. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” Chris said.

As if he realized how close he was to the screen, he pulled his face away from the phone, but going farther back than normal.

He was talking about what he was doing on set when you noticed how familiar his background was.

“Where are you?” you interrupted him.

See the full post

385 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

#4

Prompt for Chris Evans father's day: Chris's wife went out for a few hours leaving Chris with his 4 year old daughter. She ends up skinning her knee and he rots teeth with how sweet he is taking care of her.

Aww I love this prompt! Though... as I write this part now... it really became the Dodger and daughter show. But look at this face... I couldn't not include him!!!

Becca’s Sugary Sweet Dad Collection Masterlist

Title: Bandaids

Pairing: Chris Evans x female reader

Rating: PG

Warnings: n/a

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

See the full post

516 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

#3

18+ Drabble: Twister

Got the idea for this drabble earlier today and friends encouraged me to write it. So here goes nothing!

Edit: Fixed the warnings... I wrote them before I changed things up. Sorry for any confusion!

Title: Twister

Pairing: Chris Evans x female reader

Rating: R

Warnings: language, semi-graphic sex & oral sex (female receiving)

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

18+ Disclaimer: This work contains sexual material that is for those over the age of 18. By clicking the keep reading link below, you are agreeing that you are over the age of 18 and are not offended by sexual content.

Usage Disclaimer: This work is for fans only. This author does not give permission for it to be shared, spoken of, referred to in any public manner (podcast, tv, online, etc.) that wants to either make a celebrity uncomfortable, mock fan fiction/fandom in any way, or the author themselves. Requests can be made, but it is unlikely the author will change their mind. If no response is given to a request then the answer is a solid no, not interested and the work cannot be shared, spoken of or even referred to, regardless of the manner or context. 

“Play a game with me,” you said to Chris.

He looked up from his book and raised an eyebrow when he saw the box in your hands. “You want to play Twister?”

“I want to play strip Twister,” you replied. “You can either choose between doing what the wheel says and risk falling, or you can just remove an item of clothing.”

“And if you fall?” Chris asked.

See the full post

530 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

#2

If your state makes it hard for you to vote… that means your vote is even more important because that is a fear tactic on their part.

Go to the polls. Let your voice be heard.

Democracy is on the ballot in more ways than one right now.

Don’t let them intimidate you.

As a United States citizen, you have a right to vote.

Practice your right.

600 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

18+ Drabble: Gray

Like a lot of you, the pictures of Chris from the MTV Movie Awards last night having been living rent free in my mind ever since. Especially the close ups that really show off the gray in his beard. 🤤

Now that I’m off work for the day... here’s a little idea that came to me...

Title: Gray

Pairing: Chris Evans x female reader

Rating: R

Warnings: suggestive, semi-graphic sex

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

18+ Disclaimer: This work contains sexual material that is for those over the age of 18. By clicking the keep reading link below, you are agreeing that you are over the age of 18 and are not offended by sexual content.

A late spring rain fell steadily outside as you made your way into the living room where Chris was sitting in an easy chair reading.

Grabbing your favorite blanket, you made to sit down but Chris’s voice stopped you.

“Come sit with me,” he said, a smirk playing on his handsome face. “I’ll keep you warm.”

“I thought you were reading,” you replied, raising an eyebrow.

“I’ve read it before,” he said, setting the book aside.

See the full post

755 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[floralgothpersephone]

Countdown

Sooooo.... several.... um months ago, I was tagged by @jaygirl987  and this has just been sitting in my drafts... forever??? oops. Oh well, I am feeling in an over-sharing mood. So I am going to do it now. Felt confident in sharing, might delete later. Response is below the cut, because we are writing essays tonight. 

Rules: List 1 Insecurity, 2 Fears, 3 Turn-ons, 4 Life Goals, 5 Things I like, 6 Weaknesses, 7 Things I Love, 8 Tags  I am going to tag: @akai-vampire, @claudeng80, @bookloverfio, @bigprincess-energy, @peachdoxie, @ruleofexception, @infinitelystrangemachinex, @anais-mitchell

ONE Insecurity:

---People who meet me for the first time always say I am remarkable. But I don’t really agree with that at all, I still don’t understand where people get that from. I feel very desperately flawed and a moderately dysfunctional human doing my damned best with what I’ve got, and isn’t that just a normal state of being for everyone making their way in this life. And if people say I am remarkable, and it turns out to be true, then does that mean I am not normal??? How is everyone else living their life then? What am I doing wrong??? or right?? or differently??? How do I bottle up this whole remarkable thing and share it with everyone else?? Being called remarkable makes me fear for everyone else. Because if i am struggling this much, and people still seem to think I am amazing then does that mean everyone else who is struggling is failing in some reguard?  I have met so many other people in the world who are just as special as me, and if i am raised above that then what about all those other people? Aren’t they remarkable too? Kinda takes away the meaning of remarkable then, if everyone else is also remarkable. I don’t know. Every time I meet someone new and they call me remarkable it makes my skin crawl. What sort of face are they seeing me wear that makes it happen so often? I just try and be myself, and stay true to who I am in any given moment but then that makes their statement have more power? I hate it. Nothing makes me more insecure. I can go from full blown confidence down to nothing the moment someone says that about me. I know I am odd and don’t quite function right in society, and have a very different perspective on it because of my dysfunction, but that shouldn’t make me remarkable. There are too many other people in this world for me to be remarkable. 

TWO Fears:

---I may never get to see Amber Gray perform Persephone in Hadestown

---Cockroaches. Turns out I have an actual phobia of cockroaches. 

THREE “turn-ons”: 

---Silly Antics, like sheer outrageous, ridiculous things that make you laugh until you cry. Like, I fall in love a little bit with everyone who has ever made me laugh. So like, the more you make me the laugh the more I look at that and go, “mhm tasty”. Also, if we are not laughing at some point during sex then what even is the point??? 

--- Loyalty, Reliability and just being supportive and a good friend. Like, I am very much very very demisexual and while I can look at people and love their look and their aesthetics and be attracted to that, I need a very firm established relationship for like... years, before I am ever actually interested in letting them into my bed. I need some definite proof that they are in this for the long run before I can let my sexuality come into play.  

---Being crafty and creative. Seeing someone make a very nice craft gets me all worked up in ways I can’t quite describe. But every time a partner of mine starts a project and is making things I want to jump their  b o n e s. 

FOUR Life Goals:

---Get my ass to fucking Greece and like. Stay there. For months. And just travel??? And like, take my time, no rushing around to do every single thing. I want to go to these places and be there for so long that I can just sit and be. 

---B a b i e s. Dear lordy if you look at every major decision i have ever made in my life, it has all lead up to the fact that I want to have kids, and I want to have a family in a very specific supportive and stable way and I need to complete these things before i can have my kids. BUT BOY THE HORMONES ARE STRONG AND I WANT THEM NOW. 

---Can I put travel twice? Travel is so important to me. I have to see the world, I need to map it. I need to see all the different types of humans and cultures there are in the world and I need to experience what there is in this life before its all over. 

---I have this home I like to dream about, its constantly changing, but its small, while having enough space to breathe, covered in plants, an entire wall that is just a bookcase to store the entirety of Alex and I’s mug collection (we are looking at least 80 mugs between the two of us currently). A claw foot bathtub in a room full of windows that is just a glorified greenhouse really. comfy reading nooks and places for play, covered in nothing but soft blankets and cushioned seats. A cat or two lounging around among all the soft places in the sun light. Walls covered in cork boards so that I can pin up hundreds of pictures of the family I have built for myself. Little foot steps running around from kids playing, and having my partners home with me to cook and raise the little ones together in a family and a community. I just. I just want that little domestic haven of something calm and secure that I never got to have growing up in my life. 

FIVE Things I Like:

---Pottery!  (my craft of choice, I’ve been making pots for 17 years now and it never gets old) 

---Plants! (I live in a small jungle! I’m a plant witch! I love my plants! They are my only friends some days! But thats okay, I take care of them and in return they take care of me.) 

---Places! (I’m a map maker, I love learning about the identity of a location both on a map and within the human mind. How amazing that a collection of humans create an identity for a geographical space separate from other all the other geographical spaces. That’s wild! I want to learn what makes them all different forever!) 

---Purple! (My hair is purple, its been purple since I started grad school! I flirted with pink hair and orange hair last year to try on different types of variety and see how that fit but I am back to purple and I am back to my normal skin! My purple hair is the source of my internal confidence and a major point of my identity) 

---Music! (I am not sure I  would ever be able to navigate my own mental landscape without the aid of music guiding me through all my different emotions and feelings so that I could have a safe place to experience them without fear of repercussion) 

SIX Weaknesses:

---I over think everything (case and point, this post, whoops) 

---An open opportunity. Like, if I am given an opportunity suddenly that wasn’t previously available and wouldn’t be available in the future, I will move mountains to make it happen. If I see a window to be able to do something with a time limit I am jumpin as fast as I can to get through that window before it closes. I think its because I grew up with zero opportunities in my life when I was little so somewhere in my bones I believe that every opportunity I get is rare and special thing and if I don’t take it now then I won’t ever get another one. Sometimes its exhausting but I can’t honestly say there is a list of things that I could have done that I didn’t? I have very little regrets in that regard. 

---I am willing to see and recognized my flawed personality traits, but rarely ever actually do anything to fix them. I am a big of a believer in accepting yourself with all the flaws (part of the side effects of recovering from perfectionism) but that mentality has a different problem... in which you are so comfortable with the problems that you don’t have any desire to fix them? Yeah.  

---Um, I have a major weakness for brown eyed, brunette girls and have fallen waaaay too hard for too many of them in my life for it to not be a thing (that Alex teases me relentlessly about). Honestly the list is long, but good news. Fiona is on that list. <3

---Potential. I have a weakness for potential, sometimes that manifests in craft materials. (Oh I could make this into this other thing!) So I have quite the collection of crafting hoards. I rarely buy plants when they are big because I am far more interested in getting a small plant because of it its potential to grow into something. I love love love love working in clay because there is just SO MUCH potential for it to become really ANYTHING???? Its amazing!!! Like, if you imagine in there is a way to make it real. And I am obsessed with that feeling. 

--- I have a weakness for cream. I like half and half in my tea. I like whipped cream on my waffles. I like straight up cream on my strawberries. I like clotted cream on scones. I like creamy milkshakes. The creamiest of cheeses. If its a cream based sauce I’m in. Just. Cream. 

SEVEN Things I Love:

I just now realized that there is a difference in the lists for “like” and “love” LOL there is no difference to me. I have no moderation, I either love something with my whole heart or not at all. So lets wax some poetry on things I have already listed, because the things I like I also love. 

--- Okay, pottery, so like, Pottery is amazing??? Because you take dirt!!! like muddy gross squishy dirt!!!! and you mold it into something you like???? And then you FIRE IT!!! Like how metal is that???? You are creating something from DIRT. And on top of that, it lasts FOREVER. like, people hundreds of years from now are gonna be digging up our civilization and our computers are going to be dead, our papers and paintings: dead, our books? Hopefully not dead. But whats going to be left is our city foundations, our places, our trash and our shitty broken pots. And goddamn, I am obsessed with looking around our world and just IMAGINING what these people in the far off future are gonna think. And there isn’t a single piece of pottery that I make in which I am not thinking those exact thoughts and trying to imagine what that person in the future is going to be like when they find this.

--- And on that note, places are just so fricking cool. Because I grew up in a mono-culture where the majority of the population belonged to the same culture and the identity of the place was a direct reflection of the people. But other places have SO MUCH DIVERSITY and I am just amazed and inspired about how you can take SO MANY PEOPLE from SO MANY DIFFERENT CULTURES and pack them all into a city, and then that city becomes its own culture??? and has its own Identity??? Like, New Yorkers, those people come from fucking everywhere on the entire planet, and YET everyone knows there is a New York culture that is just agreed upon? And New York has an cohesive identity to how it functions, and how it works. Just. How amazing is that. And Minneapolis, jeez, bless Minneapolis. Because it has the midwestern identity but its developing one all on its own. And it doesn’t have a National presence yet, so in a lot of ways its just developing its identity for the world and its just so amazing to see all the different ways that people provide input on how they want their city to develop, and with each step it comes closer and closer to a face it wants to display to the world??? Its like, seeing a teenage, trying out who they want to be and developing them self to become a real adult. And goddamnit I want to see Minneapolis into a fully mature Nationally known city. I can’t wait. 

---So plants, are like. The best therapy. Because plants don’t really talk, well okay I think they do, BUT PHYSICALLY, they don’t talk. And so in order to figure out what they need to you have to listen to them in a very different way then humans are used to?? You have to observe, and check-in and interact and just learn about a plant so that you can care for it. And I think thats exactly how humans are too, except we have this obnoxious thing called talking that sometimes make it difficult to actually figure out what is going on down below. Its easy for someone to say they are fine when they really are not. But plants don’t get to say that they are fine. When they suffer they do so silently and while they may want to scream for more water they have to let you know in other ways, drooping, changing color, dropping all its leaves in protest. And thats the other thing about plants too, is that every type of plant asks for help differently? How amazing is that. You have to get to know the plant on an individual level, there is no “one way fits all” fix-it for plant care. You have to know your plant. You don’t have to know all the plants in the world, just the ones you take into your care. And thats just so symbolic for me. And when I am taking care of my plants, I am taking care of myself too. Water for the plants, water for the Becca. Sunlight for the plants, sunlight for the Becca. Extra boost of fertilizer for the plants, extra boost of vitamins for the Becca. And I love my plants, even with their imperfections and wild ways of growing. Sometimes they get a whole lotta attitude in how they grow, and it isn’t picture perfect, but that doesn’t matter. Cause thats my plant! And its growing and thriving and I am so happy that its doing well! It doesn’t need to be the prettiest plant that ever existed. It just needs to live. And damn thats all I need. 

---Purple is just an amazing color. Like everyone has heard the poetry talking about the richness and royalty and the history that the color purple has. But for me? Purple was a color I was immediately drawn to as a kid for no apparent reason but that I liked it. And I was not allowed, because the color purple was Barney colors and my parents were so very concerned that the other kids would torment me (spoilers, the kids found other reasons to torment me, and I was just denied being allowed to wear my favorite color). And then there was the instance of my grandmother, who, lets be honest, doesn’t win any “good grandparent” awards. And she LOATHS the color purple. Just thinks its really ugly. And took every chance to tell me that whenever I went shopping with her or if she wanted to get me a gift and was looking for input. So i went through all these stages when I was little, only being allowed to like pink, but then internalized misogyny said that was dumb so then I chose blue to be my favorite color while completely denying that what I wanted was purple. So yeah. By the time college came around and I was an “adult” (lol) I was just like. Fuck this shit no one can tell me what I am allowed to like and claimed purple for everything in my life. and I mean. e v e r y t h i n g. Backpack? Purple. Every piece of clothing I owned? Purple. Jackets? Purple. ipod? Purple. Does the object come in purple? Yes. Well then that is the correct answer. When I broke down and finally dyed my hair purple (like I have wanted to do since I was little, but again, I was not allowed and can you imagine being a non-mormon kid in the little valley with purple hair in high school??? Fuck I would have been the anti-christ of all sinners.) But in Minneapolis it seemed like it would be far more acceptable and wouldn’t result in immediate social disgrace. So I did it. I graduated my undergrad and dyed my hair purple because I could. And it changed my entire life. No more wall-flowering. No more hiding in the shadows praying no one notices that you don’t quite belong. No more pretending that you don’t exist so that people can walk all over you as they pass by. When you have a wildly different color hair, you have to own it. There is no “oh haha, whoops” about it. You made that decision, you put the color in your hair with that intention. And now its there to stay until you cut it all off. And that was the kick in the butt for me. That was the thing I need to own my own self and to lay claim to my voice. And for a while, it wasn’t easy. It was learning a whole new skillset. And there was definitely a major time span that was just “fake it until you make it”. But I kept faking it for the sake of my purple hair, because every time I looked into the mirror it made me so happy I could cry. I wasn’t looking a the mirror nitpicking my reflection any more. I was just joyful, because my hair was purple and I loved it. So every time someone made a comment whether it was good or bad, I would be dying on the inside from having the attention on me. But I would pull out the big ole grin of joy that I wasn’t really feeling and be like “Yeah isn’t it great! Its my favorite color!” And the good comments would be happy for me, and the bad comments would be thrown off by my enthusiasm and usually go away. And at one point that big joyful grin wasn’t just a farce, and now, 9 years later, working for the federal government and people try and make a jab at my hair, I can just laugh and tell them how much fun having colorful hair is. And that they should give it a try too. 

[archerincombat]

25, 31 and 40 and you better be doing something to look after yourself this saturday or else (aggressive, but affectionate)

25. role model

oooh good question. honestly i work in local politics so the people who are like, fighting to turn tx blue are my biggest inspo always.

31. 3 random facts

i am an australian citizen. i cannot cross my eyes or roll my r's. hmm and i'm a poli sci major? which you could've guessed but i'm so bad at remembering things about myself

40. favourite memory

i genuinely could not tell you a single thing that's ever happened to me. NO JK. probably (i'm a choir kid) so my last performance with my choir is up there

ask me stuff!

[autumnsoldier13]

Tagged by @cantteachanoldguardnewquotes 😁

favorite color: teal/aquamarine

last song: Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift

last movie: The Suicide Squad

last show: The Office

currently reading: Winter’s Orbit by Everina Maxwell

tea or coffee?: coffee!

sweet, spicy, or savory?: sweet- I’m a sucker for dessert

craving: a cupcake

currently working on: nothing? unless you count cleaning out crap from my house

[winteriron-trash]

Another Tag Game

Rules: We’re snooping your playlist. Put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then choose 10 victims.

Tagged by: the lovely @incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes (who has a great taste in music btw)

Tbh I’ve recently been in the mood of really cinematic, badass music that you could write a fight scene and/or the aftermath of a fight scene to, so if you ever want really powerful music, check this stuff out. Especially Tommee Profitt if you couldn’t tell

I’m Not Afraid - Tommee Profitt ft Wondra

I’m A Wanted Man - Royal Deluxe

I (Just) Died In Your Arms - Hidden Citizens

The Hate Inside - Tommee Profitt ft Sam Tinnsez

For The Glory - All The Good Things

The Beginning Of The End - Klergy & Valerie Broussard

Shoot To Kill - Tommee Profitt ft QUIVR

Everybody Knows - Sigrid

The Hunter - Adam Jensen

Meet Me On The Battlefield - SVRCINA

I Tag: Oh blah, I hate this part. I tag everyone. All 3.1k of you following me. If you see this, I see you. I’ll come for you if you don’t do it and tag me in it. I want to see everyone’s music tastes. I’m not kidding, pls do it and tag me

[persage]

Can't Say It Back-S. HARRINGTON

Summary: At eighteen, Steve Harrington has learned how to really love someone. That someone it's not you. At nineteen, Steve Harrington breaks your heart and this time you hope it will be the last (six moments that led to this)

Words Count: 4k

Tags: Mentions of dyslexic!Steve - Set before Season 4 (currently thinking about doing a part 2)

Seven years old Steve Harrington has big brown eyes, a beautiful backpack and finally his first friend: Y/n Cunnigham. Tommy doesn't count, he is more like family and neither does his babysitter Becca, even if he really really loves her. He has discovered his mum pays her to be with him and that doesn't sound like something a friend should do. But Y/n, she's brand new. You sit next to him at school and compliment him when he does every stupid little thing. You help him when he can't write something correctly cause you are clever and play with him even if you don't like basketball. That makes him happier than ever. He shares his box of crayons with you 'cause he likes the way you draw and sometimes he steals jewels from his mom and gives them to you. Steve doesn't read  well, sometimes words and letters just don't make sense him, they all mix with each other and it's a mess. When he has to read in class, you hold his hand so he doesn't give up.

Nine years old Steve Harrington sits next to someone else even if you keep waiting for him. "You're finally with the cool ones Harrington." Tommy says. Steve looks you in the eye intensely before laughing. You get mad and you hate him, 'cause you know him well enough to recognize that he is just pretending to be someone else and you are clever enough to understand that he grew up before you, even if it's not fair, even if it's too early. In class now he doesn't even try to read aloud anymore, Tommy and the others would make fun of him and you're not there to hold his hand.

At eleven you and Steve share math class. He is no good with numbers and so are you. You pass your time drawing as he looks around laughing with his friend. You both need help from a tutor to pass every test and have this obsession with math being useless, something invented just to make some people feel better then others. That's the only thing you have in common lately. So your professor pairs you up, assigns you more homeworks and somehow expects you to just magically get along and help each other. And you try, 'cause at least you undestand something about numbers, you just don't like studying them. "You're doing it wrong, you need to do the calculations in parentheses first." 

"You're not my boss y/n. " 

"I'm not trying to be. It's just math Harrington... and you are doing it wrong." On opposite sides of the same table, you keep working on your assignment and he won't give you a red pen, even if he has one that he doesn't need. So you laugh when you see him fail again. "Yeah...it's math and you suck too at it." He replies without even looking at you, eyebrows arched in an angry.and maybe at least a little bit - hurt expression. "But you suck more". He pauses, finally his eyes are on you and you think he is ugly and stupid, like every other boy your age. "Sorry" He murmurs, smiling lightly. Now he is not that ugly anymore. You shrug. "It's fine."

"You were right" He confesses. "I'm doing it wrong." 

"I know, Steve." You reply, proudly. "You're not stupid, why are you here?" He asks. You look at him bewildered. "And why are you?"  

"Because I'm stupid, Y/n." You would like to tell him that it is not true, that you don't like hearing these things. That he is intelligent, it's the others who don't know how to explain things to him in the right way. Instead you sit in heavy silence, flipping through pages of your book, cause in the end he still hasn't give you the red pen and he doesn't share his crayons with you anymore just like he doesn't share anything else.

At thirteen you are Steve Harrington's first kiss, even if it doesn't count cause it's just a stupid game at stupid Tommy Hagan's birthday party and you've complained from the moment the bottle of destiny - as Carol calls it- has chosen you two. "It's Harrington." You protest putting on a disgusted expression, because deep down you don't want anyone to see your embarrassment or the blush on your cheeks and you're terrified that your heartbeat could be heard even at distance. "I really have to do this? "

"Believe me, I don't want to kiss you either Cunnigham. There are way prettier girl in this room" You roll your eyes and he notices you do this a lot when he is around. "I'm not kissing him." You state. He is even uglier now, with little hairs on the chin and under the nose that he likes to call a beard. "It's a game Y/n you have to follow the rules" Tommy intervenes. "Not everyone knows how to play fair" Harrington comments. His words sound like a challenge, his face morphs into a grin and -again- you hate him. All eyes are on you and your friends are taking bets. Your eyes flit down to his lips for just one moment, then you get closer and he can't really believe this is actually happening. He waits for you to take a step back untill he can feel you hot breath on his own mouth. He keeps staring right past your shoulder where Tommy is laughing hard, He is afraid he will lose himself if his eyes met yours and then everybody would understand the horrible truth: Steve Harrington wants to kiss Y/n Cunnigham. Your lips meet without even realizing, a bit hesitant but soft. It's chaste, a simple touch of wet lips, steady hands, open eyes yet it's everything you've ever dreamed of, a stupid boy kissing you without even wanting to. None of this should matter, but...the boy is Steve Harrington of all the people, so you care. 

At sixteen, Tina has organized the most amazing birthday party: a camping night in the woods with tends and wine, cans of beer, music and even a bonfire. It's something you've never done before and you are way too excited. It's been a good day so far and for once in your life you want to do something wrong. More than usual. When Tina offers you a cup full of cheap wine, you drink it all in one sip and immediately fill another glass only to throw that down perhaps too quickly.  "Don't we have something stronger? " You ask. A guy you don't know makes you some fruity drink and the two of you stand close, he caress your hand as you take your cup with a loose smile. From faraway, behind the bonfire's flames, Steve Harrington smiles at you, raised eyebrow. It's stupid but it makes your heart stops and you suddenly feel warm. He his not the same as the kid you've kissed once, he is grown and it's no a coincidence that they call him King Steve now. He is the most charming boy at school, funny, handome, cool and you can't help but feel something for him, you can't even find a name for that emotion. It's an old affection and a stubborn bitterness, cause somewhere along the way you lost him and now you can only be a little part of his life when you used to be his all world. Everyone is talking too loudly,  breathing in smoke, singing, dancing. People start slipping away slowly, disappearing in pairs or groups, holding hand or already kissing like nobody else is there. He moves closer to you. King Steve sees you alone, sitting there, and when you feel his body so near you pull your gaze away from the campfire and focus on him, the way the light defines the curve of his jaw, the slope of his nose, and the highpoints of his cheeks. He's perfect. "You shouldn't be here all alone Cunnigham. It's a party"

"I'm partying" You reply, showing him you cup full of alcohol. "What a funny girl, life of the party" He is sarcastic, and you know it, but you still smile. "I am, just not with everyone. Not everybody deserves me"

"Guess who'll be lucky enough."

"Not you, Harrington." He shakes his head, takes your cup and drink it all. He needs liquid courage, you stir him un and he can't help but feel this need of being near you and it had hirt him for so long it's driving him insane yet he never manages to really be with you, he just stand there somewhere between your friends. You go out with the same people and in the same places, but maybe that's not enough for him anymore. He laughs. "Obviously, you hate me."

"You've dumped me"You reply, hiding your smile. "I was nine, Y/n"

"Still haven't heard you say sorry." You get closer, blinking and putting on a puppy expression. "Sorry, really, I didn't mean to broke your tiny baby heart" He moves is hands dramatically and it's funny,  it feels so right to be with him, to play together like children. "Mhh seven years late Stevie boy" After an embarrassing silence, you dedice to ask what you've been secretly questioning all night. "So where's Paula?" You know, just like everybody, that Steve Harrington doesn't have real releshionships, but still you wanna hear it with you ears. You wanna hear that the girl he's been seen kissing at the cinema it's nothing more than one of the many. It's stupid, maybe even bad, not feminist at all but... You can't help but feel that way. And you are way to drunk to be ethical. "I don't know, I don't care... She's not really my problem. "

"And that means...?" Steve rolls his eyes, leaning a little too close to you. "I think you know what that means, Y/n. You know me" He pauses, staring at you. "I don't know you Steve. I know the child Steve Harrington, not King Steve."

"It's not that different. "

"It is, like a lot" You breathe out, the air around you has never felt warmer, Steve Harrington never as unfamiliar as he is now. "I'm still him, the same boy who adored you." His eyes scan your face, they are everywhere, following imaginary roads on your skin and you lean on, your nose touching.  You feel like you're floating somewhere between a memory and a dream. "You're such a good liar Harrington." So you kiss him, lips on his, as you smile. You move away before he can reciprocate. "Y/n, what are you doing?" He is breathless, confused and excited. "Nothing"  You reply, laughing. He lets his fingers help through your hair, grab your head and gently brings you closer to him again. "I enjoy this nothing"

At eighteen, Steve Harrington has learned how to really love someone. That someone it's not you. And you are not really surprised cause it's always been so difficult between you two, bad timing and complications, silence and pride. So, eighteen years old Steve Harrington who knows how to love someone else - the most perfect girl in the whole universe if that makes it any better - it's your first time among the other things. And even if the premises are not the best, to tell the truth you could not imagine someone else in his place. He shows up at your door one day in  the November of your senior year of high school. His face is swollen, his skin marked by blows, bruised he looks like someone who hasn't slept for too long. He rings at your door, regardless of the possibility that your parents will open, but luckily you are the one to do it. "Oh my god" Is all you can say. "Steve." You whisper, your hands shake, you place fingers on his warm skin. You haven't really spoken to each other from your kiss, nothing more than superficial conversations from acquaintances and no reference to your situation, of any kind. You are friends, perhaps and now he is in your home. He moves his head even closer to you, like a cat. "What happened to you?" You are scared. He looks at you for a while as if he is thinking about what to tell you or how to do it. "Nothing special, just a bad encounter with Hargrove"

"That bastard."

"Don't worry, really. I don't even know why I'm here"

As he's sitting on your bed he tells you about Billy's threats to Lucas and that he got beaten up for those kids, you have the feeling that something is missing, a piece of the story, but you say nothing and you keep applying ice to his wounds. "I wasn't the hero they needed ... Max had to think about it in the end" "Steve, Lucas would probably be in hospital if you weren't there. You're their hero, heroes don't always win ... Especially when bad guys smash a plate in their head." He puts his hand on yours and strokes you with his thumb, leaving you speechless and breathless. You don't know what's going on, you just know you don't want to be anywhere else. "I don't know what to do without you" You close your eyes, trying to calm your heart before making reckless gestures. "Steve" Your voice is thin. "What are you doing here?" You ask "I needed to see you ... I didn't want ... To be alone" He confesses, sincerely, letting his fingers run down your neck.

"Why me Steve? You should be with her ... Nancy"

"We broke up" he replies, you see a flash of suffering pass in his eyes but you decide to ignore it. "I'm sorry"

"But I'm here because I wanted to be here, with you. Not because we broke up. "

It makes your heart flutter You shouldn't care, this is all wrong, yet you want to pretend for a moment that you are different people entirely. He is not Steve, not Nancy Wheeler's ex boyfriend, not you childhood friend. His lips are on you neck. His lips are on your lips. He's breathing out your name like it's his religion. His warm skin against yours all that matters now.

"Are you s.. " He starts, breathless, his eyes flitting up and down your face, to your lips, always back to your lips. "I'm sure. I am " You cut in, gently. He leans in again and you do the same and God, you think while he undo your bra, his expert mouth kisses your breast  and plays with your nipples. It's Steve Harrington, its always been Steve Harrington.

Nineteen years old y/n Cunningham says I love to a guy who can't say it back. You are back from college, on vacation you tell people, never going back you think. You always thought you know what you want, what you can do, who you want to be. But here you are, back at Howinks, lost and absolutely not ready to face your ex. You and Steve have been together for a short period after your first time, but again bad timing and too much insecurities made your relationship a living hell.

You had to go to college, he wasn't even accepted. Obviously it wasn't a problem for you. It was for him. "You deserve someone better" He'd whispered before letting you go, kissing tears away from your cheeks. You meet him again on your birthday, you have been in town for a few days and you decide to go and see the new shopping center, Starcourt mall, with your little sister Chrissy. Harrington wears a ridiculous uniform and despite this you can't help but find him handsome and sweet, you have to count to ten to not rush to hug him. He walks towards the parking  next to a girl, dressed exactly like him. You've seen her a few times at school. He looks at her with admiration, Dustin is with them and he laughs with her.  You can't help but feel your heart breaking. "Sorry I forgot to tell you, he works here." You don't reply and try to hide before they see you. "Y/n" Dustin's voice surprises you. It's too late. With a quick run Steve reaches you while you walk away. "Y/n wait!" You turn to him, trying to smile.

"Hey, Steve. How are you?"

"You're back" His voice is soft, he's studying you carefully. "Just for a little while" You hide your shaking hands behind your back. "Now I have to go" You tell him, running away before he can see you cry.

It happens a few days later. News of the Starcourt fire spreads in Hawkins quickly. And so you run and run, the car doesn't even seem to go fast enough. When you arrive, ambulances are everywhere and you can't see Steve. Filled with panic, your eyes shoot around the parking lot, gaining a worried glance from Steve's coworker who's sitting in the back of a truck. You keep looking around for any sign of the boy, your stomach churns as you begin to think of every possible thing that could've happened to him, tears begin to pool in your eyes. The girl who works with Steve places a hand on your shoulder, "Y/n?" You turn to face her. "You..."

"Yes, of course I know you. Steve talks a lot about you." She says. She'a mess, she's got bruises on her face and arms and she seems like about to break down, so you put a hand on her shoulder and squeeze it lightly to comfort her. "Are you okay...?"

"Robin, I'm Robin and yes, thank you. I'm okay, we all are" You smile, keep searching for Steve. You need to see him, to know if he really is okay. "Looking for somebody?" You can't bring yourself to answer, but it doesn't matter because Robin speaks up once again, "He is over there, see." Your head snaps forward, locking eyes with Steves. You run to him,  quick to close the remaining distance between you, wrapping your arms around his body. He lets out a quiet cry and circles his arms around your waist. "Sorry.. Sorry are you hurt?" You ask, your face buried in his chest. He shakes is head. "I'm okay" His voice is raught and he trembles

"I-I thought... "  You cry. "I'm fine I'm fine baby. Shit, I'm so glad you're here," He holds onto you tighter, almost as if he believes you would  disappear if he lets go even for a second. You don't know what has really happened or what he has seen but you do the same thing, feeling in the exact same way: like you almost lost him for real. A relieved sob escapes your mouth as he leans back to gaze at you, taking in every inch of you face. Now you can fully see him to. He has been beaten, no fire - nothing but human hands- can do such a terrible thing. His face is a mess. "What... Steve what is this?" 

"It's nothing." He replies, but his eyes are lost in a memory, distant and hurt. You caresses his damaged skin with all the delicacy and the dedication you have." Stop saying that Stevie, this is important. You are. Who did is to you? Fire don't do such things." He let's out a sob, the kind of sob so heart wrenching it hurts you to hear. He feel like he can't breathe, he can't focus on anything else besides the Russians beating him, the fear of dying and the fact he couldn't protect Robin and he have sold Dustin to them and they almost died cause he wasn't good enough to protect them. And its all hell and he can't tell you, cause he can't let you get involved with this shit. All he can smell is the blood, there's so much blood - his own, Hargrove's one, the flayed one. He doesn't really know - and smoke. He doesn't even realize how badly he's shaking until a steady and warm arm wraps around his shoulder again soon. You are the only thing that's keeping him calm. "It's okay. Y-You're okay." You his his forehead. He hugs and pull you closer, burying his head into your chest, tears and blood leaving stains on your shirt. "Stevie what happened?" You ask again. He shakes his head. "I don't wanna talk about it, not now." When he calms down you can't stop staring at him. He's right there in front of you and he is all you ever wanted, all you will ever need in life and you can't let him go, not again. "What" He finally says, a half laugh caught in his throat, a smile forming on his face. "I love you" You say simply, like it's this obvious thing. This easy thing. You love him. You love the fact that his eyes feel like summer and sun, everything about him shines like a million stars and he can make you laugh and show you a way of seeing things in life nobody else will ever think about. He looks at you in disbelief. "I love you too" That's what he wants to say. He has loved you since he was a stupid kid, and maybe you are the only one he has ever really loved. Not Nancy. Not Robin. He was searching for you in them, in the way they talk, in the way their brains work, in the intelligence and the way they never take him seriously. It never felt the same anyway. You love him and that's the most beautiful - heartbreaking- thing ever cause he can't say it back. He can't. He has one job: to protect you, the only way for keeping you away from all this mess is for you to be as far away as possible from this haunted city and from him. Even if it seems to be over and maybe they've really won this time... How can he be sure?  They always think they can live their happy ever after but then there's always a new monster, a new danger to fight. People've died, this time way more than the others. Innocent people like you, living their life as always, not stupid kids who've decided to play the hero against the Upside Down. Maybe if he tells you the truth you would be safer, he could protect you, and for a moment it seems to be a great option, but now you live miles and miles away and in his heart he knows he must let you go. Even if it kills him. So he doesn't say it back, he just kisses you, trying to impress in his memory the taste of you lips, the softness of your skin and the perfume of your hair. Tomorrow will be another day and he will do what is neded. He will push you away forever, he will make you hate him.

"You don't love me" You say slowly. carefully. You don't know what to say, you could have believed it maybe when you they were nine or thirteen, or even seventeen even, now, though,  you've been stupid enought to let yourself fall for a childish fantasy in which Steve Harrington acutally loved you. He blinks over you, trying to stop tears from coming. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry but I don't I... Care. But I don't love you... I'm in love with someone else." That's the most difficult thing he has ever done in his life.  He has to pretend, pretend like there's no possibility for the future, but  he doesn't want to live in a world where he doesn't need you.  "Robin?" You ask, shaking. He nods, cause he doesn't know what to do or say. You smile. "She seems pretty cool" You reply, sobbing. "For a moment... I thought you..."

"It was egoistic but I wanted her here and... I've settled for you cause you were there" You close your eyes and back out of his bedroom- where you have spent the night with him, taking care of his wounded body, watching his restless sleep, calming him down during nightmares - and you walk down the stairs. He doesn't follow you. At nineteen, Steve Harrington breaks your heart and this time you hope it will be the last.