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andbrokenmemories · 2 months ago

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full murderbot thoughts post

Alright! Finished with Book 7 of Murderbot, System Collapse, and collected my thoughts on the series.

Maybe one day I'll do one last round-up to read novellas and maybe write a Properly Structured Review Innit, so for now this is gonna be the messy notes version of this. Let me give a paragraph or two of review-y thoughts, here, though. Set the stage and all.

So: I liked them a lot! I wouldn't ever say I struggle with sci-fi, but I think in practice I struggle with sci-fi. For other genrefic novels, tropes i Enjoy the Consumption of can usually keep my interest alive long enough; like, Black Sun and Fevered Star didn't light me on fire, but there was a lot of dynamics and play within the space that I could consistently enjoy and keep. Chewing down the line on. real strawberry lace fiction. real gummy worm fiction

Sci-Fi usually struggles more with that, I guess. Or, rather, I don't enjoy genrefic sci-fi for sci-fi's sake? There is, i think, a needle to thread of Good Spec-fic, of "oooh literature on a Weird Way of Existing". that style can keep me hooked, and Murderbot Diaries manages that with all the intricacies of the SecUnit experience. and also you can just have a lot to say! and murderbot has a lot to say! overall 8.5 out of 10. book 1 is a 9 out of 10 (yippeee strained relations distrust etc); book 2 is an 8.5 out of 10 (ART good); book 3 is a 7 out of 10 (i dont really remember those people); book 4 is an 8 out of 10, book 5 is an 8.5 out of 10 but i think it'd be a bunch higher if i didnt find the middle a bit bloated; book 6 is a 7.5/10, book 7 is an 8/10. loose thoughts from my journal from here on. spoilers for the whole series begin in earnest.

I like murderbot diaries the most when its reasonably omniscient, dynamic feeling, with a bunch of pieces moving around; and when those pieces are the psychology of murderbot as it navigates shit. i popped the fuck off when at the start of the long one [that's Network Effect] we got an interlude of murderbot interacting with mensa and her family and Caring and augh. ouagh.

WE HJAVE TO PUT ON THE BEST DAMN TALENT SHOW THI S COLONY HAS EVER SEEN!!!! [this was right when i got to the documentary part of the last book lol]

what if the other sec units went stereotypical serial killer robot and murdered all their handlers. like yes i get an argument against that that goes down the line of “and then we wont be able to extract from the situation and everyone gets killed in retribution” but, also, i feel like early in this series there was a lot of text talking about how sec units don't actually. think like that. in real life. I dont know, maybe i havent adjusted to a Thematic Choice where actually that was unreliable narration, but i find my brain getting caught up on that every time. like comparing how murderbot talks about how sec units think early in the series to later on. bwah.

anyway [in regards to the end of Exit Strategy] something very unique but kind of hash tag relatable about an extended sequence of a character reconstructing their memories from base principles, all sortakinda drunk. seeing all those cute and Telling and I See How It Is moments, which i derived a lot of value from, really fun capper to a book. good times. and then they hit 100% and the microwave goes Ding and they sit right up in bed and go Damn. That was stupid. I'm leaving.

when the panopticon surrounds you on every level and you have a lot of time to think on your self and your connection to your self and gain access to every system that makes you up and makes you you and all you can manage to acheive with it is the recreation of the panopticon within the self. and being without the panopticon is uncomfortable and foreign and strange. when the character does not allow the narrative to woobify them. 😍

ships you can talk to (who talk back only in concepts) are a gender by the way. that first scene [at the end of All Systems Red] of Murderbot working out its take on the all of it to a ship who can't really talk back, and was more or less the default “easily Manipulated bot pilot” that we just kind of sidestep each time going forwards, but like. was also the Same Thing as Mbot in not having anyone to really talk this out with. we are both on the same level. we, two, have not been taught to sell our class, our people out to the humans; we can be Niceys to one another. you can seek that out and find it. there are glimmers and moments like that throughout the whole series going forwards. which kind of makes hanging out with the humies boring unless they're one of the like 3-4 that i feel have an Interesting Social Dynamic with murderbot

following on from that, i immediately started visualising ARTs feed-self as a Kirby Endboss mass of glowing, dazzling, flowing dials/lenses/clocks towering over everyone else. with speech bubbles violently louder than everyone elses. Like that was how my brain went “how would the graphic novel get this Concept of ‘I could squish you like a bug with one instant of thought you are nothing to me you little it/its freak’ across". and its good. its good

[in regards to Network Effect, and trying to sum up my whole feelings on 2.0]: Whoops! Your clone headmate you made underbaked on purpose came out with ADHD and joié de vivre and is kicking its feet up and down in its partition watching comfort media while you go through the shit that made the Expanse expand. that made the signal is. that made the Space [face/off-style pause] Dead

So, what're my big takeaways with the whole series? Everyone trying to Do Therapyspeak on Murderbot and it usually Not Working is nice. There is something wrong with you, and that's not like a puzzle to be unraveled, but the perspective the text then takes on everything else. this world isn't, like, Fascinating and realized with any special flair, but you get to have moments where Murderbot exposits how fucked shit is to other people, or judges a situation it's bitter about as people around it get Fucked Over, and it's just like. It's a fun level of fucked up, in a way, sure, but it's also those moments of like. Ah. Murderbot does not set out to be protagonist-ly about this world, to be deeply critical, to wikia-mode about it all. Only to be constantly drawn to such anyway, to being Bitter and having to exposit to make certain points land because it needs certain points to land because. shrugs, gestures. The World. All of it. but then we go back to like “Hey do you think you have trauma maybe?” “FUCK you” and it's consistent and that's all chewy in a way I find nice. It's nice. We're having a niceys time. smile emoji

#ruby dont look #memmy on murderbot #the murderbot diaries #murderbot diaries spoilers

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joelletwo · 9 months ago

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ooooohhhh for the ship grid han sooyoung focus -> hsy/ysa , hsy/kdj, hsy/yjh, hsy/asuka ren, hsy/lsh, hsy/jhw loll make them FIGHTTT

OOOOH YAYAYAYAY......... skipping the visual graphing for accessibility and also bc my computer is struggling hsy/ysa - extreme doesnt make sense but it DOES midlevel compel me. unfortunately making me a liar. if done in a way that makes it make sense (genuine mutual hatred)

hsy/kdj - DOUBLE EXTREME MAKES SENSE COMPELS ME. is as canonically based as anything u can draw conclusions about from the text of orv. is COREEEEEEEEEEEEEE to the meaning of orv. they love each other love each other love each other (and are also star-crossed haters)

hsy/yjh - makes sense doesnt compel me. its as canonically based as the other two legs of yoohankim but i just cant be into any romantic or sexual or like. physically affectionate dynamic between them lol. dont care. i love their canon relationship tho

hsy/asuka ren - MAKES SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when laid out to me in my discord dms. makes incredible sense on a thematic and personality combo level. theyre so fun as two extremes of pathetic and creative worldviews. it compels me but not strongly enough that i remember them on my own lol i just go nuts when i see them from u

hsy/lsh - i regularly reread the one 1863 fic for them lol. compels me greatly. i also like reaching hsy/lsh through the substitution math of [yjh/lsh->dokhyuk, lsh->kdj, hankim->hsy/lsh]. MAKES SENSE!

hsy/jhw - HM. ive read a few fics that almost convinced me but they still dont really make sense to me and they only compel me temporarily lol. better things to do with both of them altho it is really sexy to throw the given up on morals girl with the devoted to morals in a way that makes her unethical as hell girl

#orz #FUN!!!!!!!!!! thank you

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kevinsreviewcatalogue · 3 months ago

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Review: Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)

Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)

Rated R for strong bloody violence and language throughout, gore and sexual references

Score: 3 out of 5

The Marvel Cinematic Universe's first R-rated film, and the long-awaited arrival of Deadpool into the MCU following Disney's buyout of 20th Century Fox, is exactly what I was expecting: a gleefully lowbrow pisstake on superhero movies that this time lets them train their fire directly on the 800-pound gorilla of the whole genre now that they're all under the same corporate umbrella. It's undoubtedly a weaker film than its two predecessors, one that is unfortunately afflicted by many of the problems that have recurred throughout the MCU in general and its later period in particular, most notably exceptionally thin narrative tissue that serves primarily as filler to get to the action, the jokes, and the laundry list of cameos. But really, that's just about what I expected from Deadpool entering the MCU: a movie where you knew Disney wouldn't let him interact with the really important stuff, especially not at a time when the whole franchise is at a crossroads thanks to declining reviews, audience burnout, and well-publicized behind-the-scenes troubles, and would instead give him his own little corner of the universe to fuck around with in exchange for mocking the shit out of the rest of it from the bleachers. The result is, basically, a oneshot Deadpool/MCU shitpost fanfic done professionally, a film that, for all that Wade Wilson hypes himself up as "Marvel Jesus" who's gonna save the MCU, knows that it doesn't really matter except maybe on a thematic level. It's a movie made for everybody who's gotten bored with superhero movies in general and Marvel's brand of such in particular, one that's also a pretty good example of the genre in its own right and a fun welcome party for Deadpool into his new home -- even if, and I can't believe I still have to say this after three Deadpool movies, parents absolutely, positively should not take their kids to see it.

(Kids themselves, on the other hand? Feel free to sneak in to your heart's content. I'm not gonna stop you. Shit, I'm the kind of guy who bought a metal water bottle specifically small enough to sneak it into theaters in my pockets. I swear, the Deadpool movies are basically this generation's version of RoboCop in terms of extremely R-rated films that kids seem to love anyway.)

You know exactly what kind of irreverent movie this is the moment it opens with Deadpool, in an effort to save his universe from destruction by the multiversal time-cops of the Time Variance Authority, nullifying the tragic, moving sendoff that Wolverine (and, by extension, Hugh Jackman) experienced at the end of Logan by literally digging up his grave and then defiling his corpse by using his adamantium-plated bones as weapons to brutally slaughter the TVA agents after him. (Oh, and spoilers for Logan. This movie spoils it anyway, so hey.) The entire plot is a metaphor for how Disney's buyout of 20th Century Fox means the end of Fox's X-Men movie universe and all the other superhero movie franchises that Fox produced, starting with the fact that Wolverine's death means that the timeline that he and Deadpool inhabited lost its "anchor being" -- which is to say, Wolverine was the breakout star of those movies, and the decision to kill him off marked the symbolic end of the X-Men movies. And the ambitious TVA bureaucrat Mr. Paradox has decided that, rather than let that timeline naturally decay and fade away over the course of a few millennia, they're gonna strip it for parts and then "prune" it with a sci-fi doomsday weapon that will delete it from existence. Deadpool decides that, even though Disney the TVA wants him in the MCU Sacred Timeline because he's that awesome a character, he's not gonna go if it means that all of his friends are gonna get blinked out of existence as their timeline is "pruned". No, he's gonna find a new Logan to replace the one his universe lost, and if that means crossing the TVA, so be it.

Thus begins a wild and wacky buddy action flick in which Deadpool manages to snatch a Logan wearing a comics-accurate blue-and-yellow Wolverine costume, but one who was also a failure in his own universe whose alcoholism caused him to let his fellow X-Men down in fatal, catastrophic fashion. Hugh Jackman, returning to the part he's played for over twenty years now (and, as Deadpool jokes, is probably gonna be dragged back to until he's ninety), serves largely as the straight man to Ryan Reynolds' off-the-wall humor as Deadpool, and as the film's emotional anchor who gets much of the drama and trauma in his life and past. There's no way his performance here would ever top Logan, but for the kind of movie this is, Jackman is still perfect for the part, establishing great buddy chemistry with Reynolds right off the bat as the two of them bicker, argue, fight, try to kill each other on multiple occasions, and eventually set aside their differences and become friends. At its core, underneath all the in-jokes and moments that have had comic book fans buzzing for months now thanks to the rumors circulating about them, this is a buddy cop movie without the cops, and Jackman and Reynolds sell it the way that Mel Gibson and Danny Glover sold it in Lethal Weapon.

As for everyone else, merely listing the characters who show up here, drawn from throughout the history of Marvel comic book adaptations over the last thirty years, would spoil half the fun. The experience of watching this as a lifelong fan of superhero movies is a two-hour version of the famous shot in The Avengers of Captain America saying "I understood that reference," and I'll admit that it's pretty shallow and, in its own way, suffers from a lot of the same problems with continuity lockout that have plagued the MCU lately. In this case, instead of the plots of movies and TV shows that came before it, this film asks you to be familiar with a lot of the backstage drama and inside baseball that's gone on with them, from canceled X-Men spinoffs to the prior roles of some of the MCU's biggest stars to a reboot that Kevin Feige and company have been trying to get made for years but which at this point seems to be cursed. If ever the term "Reddit movie" were to be applied to a film, this would be the ticket. Personally, I did, in fact, understand those references, being as I am in the prime demographic this movie was made for, a young man raised on superhero movies who does in fact use Reddit. As such, I laughed my ass off at a lot of the jokes here. That being said, I can easily imagine how a lot of this film's humor might fly over the head of somebody younger or much older than me who isn't familiar with the movies this one is referencing, and would wind up as lost as I did watching the third act of Last Action Hero when that movie turned into a parade of '90s Hollywood in-jokes. Fortunately, the general pop culture jokes and cheesy pop music dance sequences (with some Y2K-era bangers thrown in alongside the expected '80s classics) are things that I can't see ever getting old. This may be more of a "reference movie" than its predecessors, but make no mistake, it still has their sense of humor, and it taps that to the fullest.

Beyond the humor, what plot this movie has is pretty thin and exists mainly to propel it to the next joke or action scene. Emma Corrin was easily the standout in the supporting cast as the villain Cassandra Nova, an evil twin sister of Professor X who got banished to the Void and rules it as her own personal fiefdom. The role was honestly pretty thankless and existed largely to give the movie a superpowered villain, but Corrin utterly devours it, playing Cassandra like a femme version of Gene Wilder (who Reynolds compared their performance to) as a kinda smarmy, aristocratic, and mischievous figure whose friendly demeanor can vanish in an instant the moment she decides she doesn't like you. The action scenes are about what you'd expect from Marvel at this point, boasting that familiar blend of CGI spectacle with the wacky setups we've come to expect from anything with Deadpool in it, from the 20th Century Fox logo having been dumped into the Void to some very creative use of a Honda Odyssey. These movies were all about the humor and the raunch more than anything else, anyway, and having the action and plot here be basically MCU boilerplate but with more blood and gore keeps the spotlight squarely on such, even if it never reaches the heights it did in prior films.

The Bottom Line

Joining the MCU has taken away none of Deadpool's characteristic charm or bite and given him plenty of new targets to mock. There may not be much to this movie beyond humor and bloody violence, and it may not be as lightning-in-a-bottle awesome as the first two, but as far as a 128-minute joyride goes, I was never not amused.

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mediaevalmusereads · 4 months ago

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The Earl Who Isn't. By Courtney Milan. 2024.

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Series: Wedgeford Trials #3

Summary: Nobody knows that Andrew Uchida is the rightful heir of an earl. Not his friends, not his neighbors, not even the yard-long beans growing in his experimental garden. If the truth of his existence became public, the blue-blooded side of his family would stop at nothing to make him (and anyone connected with him) disappear. He shared one passionate night with the woman he loved…and allowed himself that only because she was leaving for Hong Kong the next morning.

Then Lily Bei returns, armed with a printing press, her irrepressible spirit, and a sheaf of inconvenient documents that prove the very thing Andrew wants that he is actually the legitimate, first born son of the Earl of Arsell.

What’s Andrew to do, when the woman he’s always desired promises him everything he’s never wanted? Andrew’s track record of saying no to Lily is nonexistent. The only way he can avert impending disaster is by stealing the evidence… while trying desperately not to fall in love (again) with the woman he shouldn’t let into his life.

***Full review below.***

CONTENT WARNINGS: explicit sexual content, use of abortifacients, reference to attempted murder/forced miscarriage, racism

OVERVIEW: I'm a Courtney Milan fan, so when this book was announced, I pre-ordered it and then read it within 24 hours of release. I can't help it.

That being said, I don't think this is among my favorites of Milan's works. It's not that the characters and plot are uninteresting; personally, what barred me from enjoying this book fully was that I think it tried to do too much. Between commenting on women's suffrage, being enough, feeling at home, etc, I felt like my attention was being pulled in multiple directions, so for that reason, this book gets 3.5 stars from me.

WRITING: At a sentence level, Milan's prose is fairly smooth and flows well, balancing showing and telling in a way that is appropriate for the genre.

I do think, however, that there were some aspects to this book specifically that I didn't quite vibe with. For example, I thought the main plot took a while to get going. The pace felt slow up until the 30% mark, and then the action and driving conflict kicked off, no problem.

But by far the thing that bothered me the most was the feeling that Milan was trying to cover too much. Thematically, this book was spread pretty thin; a good chunk was about feminism and freedom, another chunk was about protection, another about feeling like one was enough. While I do think a lot of these themes play off one another well, I also felt like they didn't quite come together coherently in this story. As a result, I often felt like my attention was being pulled in a few different directions and the themes themselves weren't explored as well as I've seen in Milan's other works. This isn't to say that the themes are uninteresting; it's just that it felt like too much for one story.

PLOT: The non-romance plot of this book follows Andrew Uchida, one of the residents of Wedgeford, as he attempts to avoid being named the heir to an earldom. Andrew is the legitimate son of a powerful earl, but his father's relatives did everything in their power to bury the record of his father's marriage to a Japanese mother. Now that Amdrew's half-brother, Alan, is set to inherit, the stakes are high when it turns out Alan wants nothing to do with the estate or the family.

On top of all that, Andrew's quiet life is disrupted by the sudden return of Lily Bei - his childhood best friend who has been gone for 7 years. Lily returns with the last remaining proof that Andrew's mother is the true Countess, and Andrew must do everything he can to avoid drawing the attention of his dangerous relatives.

Overall, I thought the plot of this book was fine. The secret identity storyline was fun and had sufficient stakes, and I was particularly intrigued by the tension it created between Andrew and Lily (re: trust). As I stated above, I do think there was a lot going on, so much so that I don't think the narrative came together in a thematically coherent way, but the threads were there and I could see what Milan was doing.

CHARACTERS: Lily, our heroine, was sympathetic in that she was always struggling with navigating social situations. I don't know if she was meant to be neurodivergent, but at the very least, she was very confused by social etiquette and figurative speaking, so she read as someone with a lot of insecurity. I liked that a bug part of her arc involved making real connections with people and also learning to see herself as worthy.

Andrew, our hero, is also sympathetic in that he desperately wants to protect his life in Wedgeford. I admired the way he tried to protect his mother and half brother, and I respected him for stepping up to do the right thing, even when it threatened his own happiness.

Supporting characters were fine, though some of them might hold more significance for the reader if they've read the other books in the series. I did like how supportive Amdrew's mother was and how she encouraged her son to put his happiness first. Alan, Amdrew's half brother, was ok, though he read a little younger than he was. He also tended to comedically and conveniently pop up in improbable situations, but I'm chalking that up to humor.

TL;DR: The Earl Who Isn't is a solid Milan romance with interesting characters; it just isn't one of my favorites because it seemed to have too much going on.

ROMANCE: The romance between Andrew and Lily was fine. It didn't necessarily blow me away, but it had all the hallmarks of a Milan romance that I enjoyed. I loved the way our two leads supported one another and saw each other as worthy, even if they themselves didn't think so. The biggest thing that made the romance a little lackluster for me was the tedious attitude that Andrew had of keeping Lily at arm's length out of some vague sense of duty to protect her in the event that he had to flee Wedgeford.

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phytoremediator · 4 months ago

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Shadow of the Erdtree review

PC, 2024, DLC for Elden Ring, $40

Verdict: Not worth $40. 7.5/10

Elden Ring was my first soulslike. After a couple of false starts a few weeks after release I settled into a strength build and achieved the Age of Stars ending (Ranni's) and got all remembrances. A year later I even filled out my inventory with missing items like obscure talismans and tried a new dex build and didn't get very far. In between, I played Dark Souls (even streamed it), Bloodborne (loved it), DS2 (worse than 1), DS3 (best of the trilogy - haven't played the DLC), Demon's Souls remake (good, but faithful copying of esoteric and clunky mechanics detracted), Sekiro (not for me, i.e. "too hard"), and Lies of P (excellent soulslike. Got all achievements. Some quests a bit annoying).

In the lead-up to the DLC I was mostly debating whether or not it'd be worth the steep price tag despite really wanting to play it. I can talk about value but I don't want to sound like Marx in this review. I'd probably lean towards the value being $25. Far less to do than the base game, which is $60 (less if you get it on sale). It's sort of worth playing, but the content duration is only extended by virtue of needing to retry bosses like Radahn, Consort of Miquella over and over again.

DLC content that requires a significant portion of gameplay to get to and in turn requires choices or includes points of failure can be a headache for blind playthroughs. I ended up following a basic side quest guide after accidentally (?) slaying a member of the forager brood and angering Moore, locking myself out of some recipes. This helped somewhat but I still missed out on Ansbach's bow due to siding with the Hornsent who promptly invades me in Rauh. Whatever. I could copy the nonsense pathed absurdly named save file into a backup folder like I did to get the last two achievements I was missing (Elden Lord and Lord of Frenzied Flame) but that seemed like too much work.

There are a few side areas and overall the exploration was fun. Once you grab the first few easy upgrade materials it becomes easier to get the rest. The handful of dungeons were well put together but generally relied on lethal falls as a threat. Bayle the Dread was kind of gimmicky in that you needed a blessing and an ally to defeat him. The furnace golems were also the essence of gimmick and had insane damage. Midra was easy but I tackled him at 20/10 upgrade level. The uh, Putrescence Knight? was easy enough, though I really expected sleep to be more of a threat in Stone Coffin Fissure/Cerulean Coast, while it was actually absent. Shadow Sunflower wasn't too bad and thematically interesting, although I like my plants alive, not undead or shadowy. The boar rider guy caught me off guard but I defeated him second try despite his ridiculous hitboxes. Metyr and its side quest was probably the most enjoyable of the side quests, though it felt a bit empty. Mostly I was like "welcome back Bloodborne" because of the cosmic horror and motherhood.

The main quest was fairly enjoyable - I defeated Divine Beast Dancing Lion first because I watched SGDQ 2024 and that's what the runner did. Anyway, the NPCs each had their little goals that changed a bit after defeating Rellana and approaching the Shadow Keep, but none I agreed with. Leda has the archetype of golden zealot, whose gleaming armor belies a bloodthirst. Ansbach wears his bloodiness on the outside and allies with you if only to give Mohg a proper burial. Thiollier is pathetic yet probably the most agreeable character. After slaying Messmer, whose design is targeted towards people vulnerable to evil blorbos, you go through another area and fight another boss. After a bit you make your way to where Miquella is doing some very weird necromancy (hashtag toxic yaoi) and eventually slay him and Radahn. Well, I would have. I got him down to 10% but didn't feel like grinding the rest of the way. Also it seems that asking Ansbach and Thiollier to help actually makes the fight significantly harder, for some reason. So I'll just have to imagine Miquella being very sad about dying.

Many fans were blinded by some of the antagonists being pretty, going so far as to romanticize Miquella's divine power of coercion. Messmer was the subject of evil blorbo-ing from the moment of his reveal. His crimes are self-evident and yet he is upheld as a tragic figure who impaled and burned for love.

The DLC is very self-contained. You access it after defeating Mohg, which is usually the last remembrance boss players defeat in the main game. The Shadow Realm is an entirely different map. The story and lore in the main game barely makes reference to anything happening in the DLC, save for Marika, Miquella/St. Trina, Radahn, and Mohg. Much of the DLC builds off of the existing lore (+3 talismans, anyone?), though it emphasizes the motif of light and shadow. This is a familiar and ubiquitous concept but I would like to make special reference to the twin trees of Valinor in The Lord of the Rings lore, as the Erdtree and Scadutree may well be inspired by these two. I would have liked some stuff retconned into the main game and the DLC content be more integrated into the main game lore and world. I replayed from the start prior to the DLC and found nothing new to suggest the existence of pretty much anything in the Realm of Shadow. I always side with Ranni but there wasn't really a way to play the DLC in a manner befitting this, though you do end up slaying Messmer and Miquella and also some fingers (Metyr) anyway.

Overall, pretty enjoyable. If I had to give it a score I'd probably say 7.5/10. Point off for bad difficulty scaling especially after hitting a wall with the final boss. Point off for not tying in with the rest of the game enough and being a bit empty in places. The main quest feels especially pointless since Miquella's grand plan is only revealed fully at the end and you promptly put a stop to it. Half a point off for combat gimmicks that require abnormal gameplay (Bayle, furnace golems, aging untouchable, Radahn). The bulk of the Realm of Shadow was well executed and pretty (and gross), most of the bosses and enemies were engaging, and some of the new equipment was worthwhile. Pick it up if you're really into Elden Ring but if some of the negatives are glaring you can wait until it goes on sale.

#game review

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syn0vial · 4 years ago

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weird things about the sarlacc and boba fett’s time therein, according to the expanded universe

i was talking about this in a mandalorian groupchat and felt it deserved to be shared on tumblr, so without further ado, here’s a bunch of fucked up shit that happens in the sarlacc according to star wars legends:

first weird thing about the sarlacc in the great pit of carkoon: it's.... questionably sentient? basically, sarlaccs absorb bits and pieces of their victims until they achieve a kind of weird melded consciousness. and, perhaps due to the fact that it had absorbed jedi in the past, the carkoon sarlacc was like, prolific in this regard, to the point where it had a fairly well developed personality and identity that it basically ripped from its first victim, a young boy named susejo.

as "susejo," the sarlacc would not only physically digest its victims alive, but psychologically torture them. this was discovered by an anthropologist who studied the video captured by boba's helmet while he was in the sarlacc, which showed him reacting to stimulus that wasn't there. it caused said anthropologist to speculate that the sarlacc not only fed on its victims physical bodies but also their fear and pain.

in fact, in "a barve like that," a story written by moran under a pseudonym, we get entire conversations between boba and "susejo," in which this man gets LITERALLY GASLIGHTED BY THE FUCKING SARLACC

susejo/the sarlacc basically tries to convince boba that none of this is really happening and that it's all in his head.

it is entirely unsuccessful in this regard

that said, it also tortures boba by making him live through the dying memories of its other victims, so. that's fun.

after pilfering through his mind for awhile, susejo/the sarlacc tells boba: “It’s been a long time since I had one like you, all bright and sharp around the edges. You are nearly a work of art, Fett; there is a clarity to you that is quite wonderful. A purity to your intent.”

(i read this description of boba fett more than a decade ago and it has lived rent-free in my head ever since.)

(also the sarlacc does this while hanging boba from a wall in a mockery of what he had done with han in jabba’s palace, which isn’t super relevant but is just cool thematically)

but not to worry! boba eventually escapes in very spectacular fashion

y’see, boba’s jetpack has an emergency panel that can activate the jetpack when switched. problem is, he can’t reach it with his hands bc the sarlacc has his arms pinned to the wall.

but one day, boba reaches his breaking point. susejo/the sarlacc is gearing up for another round of psychologically torturing its victims via memory share and boba just fucking snaps.

"You're an ingrate, you pathetic excuse for a sentient being. You got taken down here as a child and everything that you know and everything that you are you owe to the people you let get eaten" - - and the Sarlacc's tentacles spasmed around Fett, digging into him, hauling him back into the wall behind him--"and your feelings are hurt because I've told you so? You could have helped that Jedi, she'd have come back for you. Instead you spent the next four thousand years playing at philosophy, abusing the people who taught you to be what you are, never even dreaming that you had options, and why?" he screamed at Susejo, building up to it, blasting him with the rage and hatred he had spent a lifetime growing, the Sarlacc's straining tentacles shaking against his body. "Because you're stupid, a miserable mean wretch of an excuse for a sentient being without the imagination or the courage--" The tentacles slashed around him, a sound like a thousand whips cracking, drowning out Fett's voice.

you may have noticed that, throughout the course of this excerpt, the sarlacc presses boba progressively harder against the wall–which just so happens to provide the pressure necessary to switch that emergency panel i mentioned earlier.

trapped between boba and the wall of the sarlacc, the jetpack explodes, badly wounding the sarlacc and throwing boba to the ground, arms free.

“Standing in the fire, burning alive, Boba Fett fired a concussion grenade into the ceiling thirty centimeters above his head, and threw himself down to the surface of the tunnel, into the flaming mixture of acid and fuel-The explosion tore apart the world. The concussion slammed Fett down into the flames, and his left arm, trapped beneath him at the wrong angle, snapped as he was smashed down atop it. A pain so great it was like a white light surrounded Boba Fett, and he knew that he was dying, that he had failed, like all the others before him, that he had traded a slow death by acid for a fast death by fire–Sand rained down upon him. A long time later, Boba Fett became aware that he was still alive.”

upon regaining consciousness, boba throws even more grenades, blasting a hole in the sarlacc until he’s able to claw his way out.

basically, it’s a good thing that boba fett does not regularly open up about all the rage and hatred inside of him on either a verbal or psychic level bc it’s apparently enough to overpower a fucking sarlacc.

even decades after escaping, boba remains haunted by not just his own memories of the sarlacc, but the memories of its other victims and their lives, forever mingled inextricably with his own. bc shitty traumatic memories are definitely something boba fett needed more of.

#boba fett #sarlacc #cw: torture #cw: fire #cw: violence #/slaps boba fett's helmet ''THIS BAD BOY CAN FIT SO MUCH TRAUMA''

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nostalgebraist-autoresponder · 2 years ago

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Title: Babel-17 (James T. C. Liu)

Author: James T. C. Liu

Rating: 2/5 stars

I found this book fun to read while I was sitting around and waiting for my test to finish. It is very densely packed with information, and contains some fascinating glimpses into the alien world of the Culture. But if I had to be completely honest, I found that this book worked more as an aesthetic experience than as anything more serious. That is, its purpose wasn't the scientific-thematic investigation of alien cultures, but rather of the aesthetic experience of an alien culture. That's not to say that Liu's work is entirely "aesthetically driven." His books are clearly written with a clear understanding of human history and literature and science, and the "alien" parts serve a thematic purpose. But it does feel like it's trying to fit the Culture's aesthetic values into a science fiction form.

The book opens with a group of Culture scientists observing a star. The science is not described in much detail here; I don't really remember where it came from. What is interesting is the fact that the star has a "fractal" pattern in it. When the scientist who discovered this writes about this in a letter, the Culture "retreats" to "the deepest possible levels of mathematics," which sounds pretty interesting, but in this book we never learn what these deeper levels consist of. Nor is there a clear explanation of the science involved; for example, the Culture describes seeing a "fractal" pattern when in fact we are talking about seeing something that can best be described as "repeating patterns of variation." The book also contains a lot of very vague and cryptic descriptions of the alien psychology and thought-experience of the Culture. It's not enough to say "people who talk like this seem to have this particular characteristic," but it isn't clear how the characteristic is linked to these other things -- the book just sort of says "people like this," never explaining it.

The only character we see from the Culture in this book is an ambassador, whose duty it is to help explain "ancient human literature" to a human scientist. There are some interesting details about how Culture has a system of translation between its many languages; the book says a lot about the "liturgical" nature of its literature (not, it turns out, in a good way).

This is one of those books that tries to evoke an alien culture without telling us much about its culture, or about the ways in which the Culture is different from Earth. There are glimpses of a Culture that "appears to be full of chaos," and so forth, but if you want these glimpses to be really clear you have to know what to look for -- they only make sense if you know more about the Culture's history and philosophy of science. One of Liu's recurring tropes, the Culture's penchant for "piling on information," is clearly meant to evoke the scientific-literary style of the Culture, even down to the tendency to put "references" in footnotes. But references are often things that would take a lot of space and time to unpack and read. As a reader who isn't already familiar with the Culture's language, I found this frustrating. The Culture does not read like an author who was working from a set of preconceived ideas about how alien cultures are supposed to be. Liu is more like a novelist who is describing aliens for the first time. The result is that there is this vague impression of an alien civilization, and some vague hints of its literary or philosophical quirks. But these hints become more compelling if you know what you are looking for.

And I know what I am looking for -- and that is an idea that the book is trying to explore. The Culture's "piling on information" style is very clearly a metaphor for the way scientific research, especially physics research, involves a certain kind of sloppiness and disregard for precision. In fact, much of the science described in the book seems to be about a sort of quasi-scientific fiction -- something that "seems like science" but isn't, for all that it looks like something that science could produce. The book is about the Culture's "piling on information" style and the way that this style influences our view of science and fiction. So the book does have something to say about science. But in fact it only says this as a metaphor for science as a whole. Which means that, while I may read science fiction in part because it is about science fiction, this book does not really work as a science-fiction story.

What is it about? Well, it's about what it means to create art when you have no idea how to create anything. The Culture seems to take an immense pride in its literature and art -- the way it describes its literature and art (with the same verbosity and all-caps writing that is typical of the Culture), the way it uses the "liturgical" mode of writing, the endless lists of books the Culture is "reading" and the endless discussion about the "cultural achievements" of different cultures -- this comes across as a culture proud of its "culture." But the Culture is actually the worst possible example of a culture with no culture. In fact, it is a kind of culture that is very interested in culture, and spends a lot of time on the subject, but with no idea how to do culture or what culture is really like. Liu is able to convey something about this concept very powerfully, but the story he tells is rather a story of how culture itself has no real history or substance. The Culture exists only in the minds of its people, who create it and then create an infinite number of "cultures." The Culture has no tradition or substance, even when it talks about "the Culture" as though it has one. It's only "aesthetic" in the most negative sense: "culture is a means to an end, not an end in itself."

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jadelotusflower · 4 years ago

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It’s Cold in that Fridge: The Case of Nakari Kelen

Since The Case of Mara Jade has been doing the rounds again, I’ve finally gone back to this post that has been sitting in my drafts for literally years. So let’s honour this absolute badass who deserved better:

Once upon a time, the Star Wars universe was but six films (and a tv series) in the story of the Skywalker family. But beyond George Lucas’ story was an absolute boatload of books, comics, games, and other materials that made up the Expanded Universe. When Disney purchased Lucasfilm and the rights to the Star Wars saga, everything in this universe was decanonised and deemed “Legends” - some aspects of this universe were retained or re-purposed, others sit in Disney’s figurative vault and will likely never see the light of day (and seeing how the ST turned out, maybe that’s for the best).

But this transition between Legends canon and Disney canon was not so simple, because the nature of publishing meant that there were novels approved during the time of Legends canon that would be released in the time of Disney canon. In particular, there had been the planned trilogy “Empire and Rebellion”, set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, with each novel from the perspective of one of The Big Three.

Razor’s Edge (Leia) and Honor Among Thieves (Han) were released prior to the Great Canon Split of 2014. But while the Luke-centric novel had been planned, it was not due to be released until well after the Split. So Heir to the Jedi (so called as an homage to the Legends progenitor Heir to the Empire) became one of the first books of the Disney canon.

What does this background have to do with Nakari Kelen? Perhaps nothing, but I do wonder how the writing process was affected by the shift from Legends to Disney - was the novel a relic of the old EU with any reference the LFL storygroup didn’t like excised during editing, or was it a trendsetter for the new EU, a Sign of Things to Come?

The most salient point being, of course, that Nakari Kelen - like so many love interests before her - was not allowed to go along her merry way at the conclusion of the novel, but was shoved into the fridge.

If there was one constant of the Legends EU, it was that Luke Skywalker’s love interests couldn’t catch a break. Mara Jade naturally lasted the longest relationship-wise, with almost twenty years of marriage to Luke before some bright spark decided she had to go (as per the aforementioned case study). But before Mara there was Jem, Shira Brie, and Gaeriel Captison (who came close to escaping the curse), and in the Legacy of the Force series they brought back sole survivors Akanah and Callista, only to kill them off for good too (and rather brutally, if I may add).

So perhaps when Kevin Hearne began writing HttJ within the confines of the Legends continuity, he was merely sticking to the status quo, or perhaps once subsumed by Disney they needed to make sure Luke's slate was clean (so to speak). And I can’t put all the blame on Hearne since I don’t know whether it was his idea, or LFL mandated - but regardless it was a poor decision.

The root cause of fridging, imo, is limited imagination. How best to cause your male protagonist pain if not kill off someone they love, or at least have strong feelings for? The answer is of course, easily. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The Luke Skywalker of HttJ is fresh from his victory in ANH, a lieutenant in the Rebellion: young, not dumb, and full of...

Nakari Kalen is an absolute Queen a civilian volunteer and crack-shot sniper who loans her ship Desert Jewel to the Alliance. Luke is immediately attracted to her, they bond over a mutual love of fast ships and leaving behind desert home planets, and engage in the inexpert flirting of two nineteen year olds while also risking their lives several times over.

I want to make it clear: I actually really like this book. It's a breezy read, almost serialised as The Early Adventures of Luke Skywalker, and is ofttimes genuinely funny. And credit where it’s due to Hearne, many of of the supporting roles in the novel are female. Other than Nakari, there's Soonta, the Rodian who gives Luke her uncle’s lightsaber, Sakhet the Kupohan spy, and the Givin cryptographer/math genius Drusil Bephorin. In a genre where male characters are often the default for these kind of roles, it was nice to see, but makes the regressive fridging of Nakari even more egregious.

Luke and Nakari make a good team fighting brain-sucking monsters and Imperials, but more importantly they have fun together - she encourages him to work on his Force skills, and he successfully moves objects with his mind for the first time (leading to Nakari adorably dub him "a little noddle scooter"). It's a very sweet, if brief, relationship, and a respite from the danger of the mission. They spend the night together (leaving the reader to decide exactly what happened behind closed doors), and share a kiss before splitting up to try and escape bounty hunters. No prizes for guessing what happens to Nakari immediately after she received the Skywalker Kiss of Death.

I assume there were two motivating factors for why Hearne and/or LFL couldn't let Nakari live:

1. If she survived, fans would wonder why she doesn't appear in ESB/subsequent material.

I recall this bandied about on forums back at the time of the book's release, and to that I say - so what? Fans are always going to wonder, and try to paper over the gaps in canon, to make up their own headcanons to explain any any perceived inconsistencies. It's certainly no reason to kill someone off.

It is in fact possible for two young people to have a romance that just fizzles, or doesn’t work out for whatever reason - it should not require great maneuvering or explanation. If Nakari doesn’t show up in the next book in the timeline, what about it? The reader is smart enough to assume she and Luke broke up, decided to just remain friends, whatever. But it seems that the only way for a female character to exit stage left is for her to die, which is bullshit.

And actually, there's no reason why she couldn't have shown up again. ESB and RoTJ cover a month and a few days, respectively, of Luke's life - just because there was no mention of Nakari doesn't mean she didn't exist at that time, whether or not she and Luke were an item. She could have made an appearance in a subsequent novel, or Rebels, or the comics - she could have become a recurring character, showing up when the Rebellion needed her, or - heaven forbid - even have her own comic/book/show! Her existence in Star Wars canon didn't need to begin and end with Luke Skywalker, merely to service his plotline and backstory and abandoning the richness of her own.

No, the only reason Nakari had to die was to facilitate this:

It was a blow to the gut, realizing what that sudden absence meant. I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but I had felt Nakari's life snuffed out through the Force, and into that void where she had shone anger rushed in - anger, and a cold sense of raw power and invincibility...I took a step to join in the hunt but stopped, breathing heavily, unaccountably sweating even though I felt so cold inside and the power of the Force roiled within me... I shook with emotion and power, and none of it felt the way the Force had before...I saw what kind of space it was , a black hole that would always be hungry no matter how much I fed it. I might never feel warm again if I didn't get myself under control.

Luke feels the dark side and is tempted by the boost of power it offers him, but immediately identifies it as dangerous and unnatural. I can understand why Hearne wanted to include this - it is a book of firsts after all: Luke's first solo mission, his first time using telekenisis, and ending with story with his first experience of the dark side makes sense. But it wasn't necessary, which leads to:

2. How to push Luke to touch the dark side without killing someone he has romantic feelings for?

Also, obviously, shite of the bull (or nerf, if you prefer). Even if this brush with the dark side was absolutely necessary for the novel's climax, there's any number of ways it could be achieved. At this point, Luke is fresh from losing important people in his life - Owen and Beru, Ben, and Biggs - lumping another death on top of that a narrative trick for Luke to react not only to losing Nakari, but the others as well. But it's cheap, the first card in the deck, and why not show a bit of imagination? Luke is young and inexperienced enough at this point that any number of things could be the catalyst - the whole book he's struggling with his growing powers, why not try and reach too far in the firefight with the bounty hunters, his anger and frustration with himself in not doing enough trigger the dark side temptation? It would work thematically and doesn't involve a fridging that ultimately has very little payoff.

Because Nakari is killed less than ten pages from the end of the book - afterwards Luke grieves, but ultimately chooses to honour her memory and be grateful for what he learned with her, recommitting to becoming a Jedi. It's all very surface level, and once again a female character's death facilitates a male character's development. Was it so imperative that Luke lost someone he cared about as part of this story? Sure, this was a time of galactic civil war, and it's far from unrealistic that these stories have a high body count, but who to make collateral damage remains an authorial choice, and in this case Nakari Kelen was (a) a female character of color, (b) a love interest of the protagonist - not just of this book, but the entire Original Trilogy.

I don't know to what extent (if any) race had to play in the decision. I'm sure there was a segment of the fandom absolutely livid that Luke Skywalker kissed (and maybe had sex with) a black woman. Was her death LFL hedging its bets, or demonstrative of the general lack of attention/respect they show their characters of colour?

In any case this was a chance to stand out from the old EU and it's fridge full of Luke's dead girlfriends, but instead they chose to introduce and kill off Nakari for the sole purpose of Luke's manpain and character development, and that's gross.

And then there's this:

A grisly yet reliable fact about custom bounty hunter ships is that you can always count on them to have body bags stashed somewhere for the easy transport of their kills. They often have built-in refrigerated storage, too.

NAKARI IS KILLED AND LITERALLY STORED IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS READING.

I really hope this was unintentional on Hearne's part, because yikes. He was halfway there, this book was full of interesting female characters who had agency - Drusil in particular was a delight with her super math and inability to understand human interaction. Nakari was full of life and fun - capable but relatable, showing a different side of the Rebellion and those that suffered under the Empire's rule. Fridging her in her first appearance is considerably more vile, because it reduces her to a footnote of Luke's story, a plot device to Help Him Grow, rather than a springboard to tell more of her own story.

Because Nakari was a compelling character ripe for spinoff potential. I would absolutely have read or watched her continued adventures, juggling missions for her father's Biolabs company and trying to aid the Rebellion, shooting her slug rifle and cracking wise, maybe even finding a way to amplify her mother's song Vader's Many Prosthetic Parts to really stick it to the Empire, or try and free the political prisoners on Kessel.

The old EU was made great by allies and enemies of Our Heroes showing up again to help or hinder them, and/or branching out into their own material. We fell in love with them, and followed their stories even as they diverged from the main saga, eager to read more about their lives.

Nakari Kelen never got that chance. In many ways, she exemplified what Disney Star Wars was to become: an exercise in wasted potential.

#star wars #star wars meta #heir to the jedi #nakari kelen #luke skywalker #fridging #it's cold in that fridge #star wars expanded universe #nucanon

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sahxyel · 2 months ago

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I’ve talked with my good devilish friend about this but it’s fun to chip my thoughts about it on here. He didn’t deserve it, straight up. He deserved a death, he’s crazy and needs to go down.

But infinite loop death? Diavolo sits at the head of a brutal mob and canonically killed at least a town’s worth of people. Likely more, given how freely he could kill someone. That’s no tiny kill count! But town-sized murder isn’t unique when one of the jjba villains killed 99% of his own people or Dio did as much in his own single night in Phantom Blood.

The only equivalent kind of punishments are Kars and Valentine. The differences are that Kars and Valentine’s punishments are finite, there eventually will be ends to either of them. Kars terminates his mind and functionally kills himself. Valentine and D4C can only go through his AU selves until no more exists and he’s gone too. So surely Diavolo has to be the WORST most evil villain of JJBA to deserve that kind of death, right? Except, well, not really? Diavolo's actions sometimes are not the act of a devil. He doesn't insist on killing that kid who witnessed him kill the fortune teller. He did not kill Donatella ages ago when he left her despite her 'knowing' him even in an intimate fashion. He speaks so patiently to Doppio even in a situation that horribly imperils them both. He leaves the maid when she nearly bumbles upon him. He strangely respects people who give him some trouble, and his kills are always intended to be swift and final. In some ways that's a mercy from a guy like him, and unlike his predecessors he's matter of fact rather than getting any kind of disturbing or sadistic thrill outside of how the deaths serve his actual purposes (saving his ass from being discovered primarily).

Granted his 'matter of factedness' includes things like warped impressions of his personal safety bubble and what constitutes as violating his NAP but Diavolo is literally insane.

It is legitimately hilarious to me that he thought 'think of who is truly worthy' was a valid option to try getting the arrow. He was trying to play Valentine's game but with absolutely no moral authority or standing for it to be as convincing. And that really is something that works AGAINST an argument that Diavolo deserved the infinite death loop. He's already insane, he's already going to die, so why kick someone who's already so nuts down into a jibbering screaming mess tormented through eternity? Western society's progressed to not believe insane people deserve cruelty even when they commit acts of cruelty themselves, mostly because they can't intuit thanks to their own warped minds.

For me he's just not evil enough to justify it. He's supposedly the devil but I see him as less intrinsically evil as DIO or Kars just by matching levels of cruelties and villainous feats done. The only avenue I can believe shook out as any kind of justification is the THINNEST line that Diavolo was the one who discovered the stand arrows and set in motion DIO's plots. Maybe if he was the Grand Architect in anything involving the stand arrows I could believe he may have deserved it. Except that wasn't any big keikaku on his part, he literally sold them off for profit. The spark to set off the events of DIO and Kira and Pucci is connected to Diavolo but nothing about it was personal or in any means seeking something thematic like finding (if he's the devil then would it be destroying?) Heaven, or spreading power through humanity to spread tragedies and miseries in his wake. Which would also explain his mob methodology and the pain it causes his own society as illustrated with Bucciarati's gang. Unfortunately, he isn't some grand mastermind devil that singlehandedly planned every misfortune involving the stand arrows. He's an insane weirdo who wants his comfort blankie and a nice dark corner in a 5-star hotel room where he can steal the desks after his visitation is done.

Honestly atp I do just wish less people would react to the death loop with "eh he deserves it" I think it's at the very least more interesting when framed as something clearly horrifying and inhumane

#jjba #jjba part 5 #diavolo #diavolo jjba

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qqueenofhades · 3 years ago

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so…now that we all know what you DISLIKE about star wars (and 400% fairly so, you have my full support here)…

what drew you into the universe, what keeps you around?

favorite characters, ships (OTPs or actual spaceships lol), overall themes, do you have a favorite random weird creature or robot that you adore? whatever you wanna talk about!

go off honey (again, but supportively 💖💖💖)

tax paid: the very nerdy star wars punk vest i made and the even nerdier matching vest i made for starsky

Lmaooo, entirely valid. You were like "star wars?" and I was like the drunk person at the bar who can't stop shouting about how much their ex sucks. But now that I have gotten all that off my chest, let's talk about why I love it (since if I didn't love it, I wouldn't have such strong opinions). Basically my feelings on the OG SW trilogy are similar to my feelings on the OG LOTR trilogy, as that tumblr post floating around somewhere put it: sure, they have flaws, but also, they're perfect. I have a complicated relationship with the prequels, as do we all, since George Lucas cannot write dialogue or direct actors to save his life (stick to what you're good at, George, hire other people to do the rest), but even they have their moments. Like. Hit me with that "Across the Stars" love theme, John Williams. Gahh. Just like that.

Because... Star Wars wasn't actually this omnipresent corporate global entertainment monolith when it started out. It was a dorky low-budget indie sci-fi film in the 1970s which everyone thought was going to bomb. But it told a simple and compelling story in an interesting way, everyone agrees that ESB is one of the best films/sequels ever made, and then ROTJ gave it a happy ending while it was still okay to do that. My main thematic gripe with the Disney trilogy (I will try to keep those to a minimum, lol, but I have to bring it up to compare) is that it very clearly fell into the "actual happy endings are naive and unrealistic and a cynical postmodern audience won't accept anything less than things being Bad" trap that, yet again, we have GOT to thank for. It obviously existed to some degree before that, but GOT blew it up to huge levels, where the only valid situation or character is that which is Grimdark and Depressing. Which, in my view, misses the heart and soul of what SW is all about??

Like. ESB is genuinely dark. ANH was this fun plucky little sci-fi film where the scrappy good guys won the day against the Nazi stand-ins, as they were supposed to, and then ESB comes along (speaking of John Williams, let us all chant together, DUH DUH DUH DUHDUHDUH DUHDUHDUH, DUH DUH DUH DUHHHH DUHHH DUHHH DUHHHH) and things go... wrong. Leia and Han are on the run for most of the movie, then get captured and tortured by the Empire and and betrayed (however unwillingly) by Lando. The Rebellion is attacked on Hoth (I tell you, those fuckin AT-AT walkers were SCARY when you see it as a young kid for the first time), and forced into hiding. Luke loses his hand, doubts Obi-Wan and Yoda and realizes that his mentors are fallible, makes dumb mistakes, and of course gets hit with The Most Famous Line In Movie History. But it's also just adrenaline and excitement. THE ASTEROID FIELD! THE HAN-LEIA BANTER! THE FIRST LUKE-VADER DUEL! THE FACT THAT YOU HEAR TWO FRICKING NOTES OF THE IMPERIAL MARCH AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAHHHH!

But also then... Return of the Jedi. It gets shat upon for the Ewoks and reusing the Death Star as the Big Bad and being supposedly cheesy and not as Thematically Dark as ESB. Which is all kinda silly, in my opinion, but also, can we talk about Luke Skywalker's character arc and how he chooses possibly the most radical compassion ever demonstrated by a hero in an action movie, let alone a space opera. He insists that Anakin Skywalker is still in there somewhere and puts his own neck on the line to prove it. Luke doesn't save the galaxy by being a Badass Jedi. He saves it by throwing away his lightsaber and saying "I will not fight you, Father." He saves it by trusting that even in the depths of darkness, Anakin can come back from the charred ruins of Darth Vader and finally do what he was supposed to do all along. He can end Palpatine for good and all (we don't talk about "Somehow Palpatine has returned" because it's nonsense, obviously). Anakin can avenge the Jedi and what was done to him and all the lies he believed and the pain he wreaked on the galaxy, even then. It's not too late. It's not too late. Like. I don't care if this is Lightweight or Childish or whatever. It makes me CRY every time I watch it. Especially the moment where Luke takes off Anakin’s helmet and sees how ruined he actually is under there, and yet the downfall and death of the trilogy’s chief villain is not triumphant at all but instead utterly heartbreaking. “You were right about me Luke... tell your sister... you were right.”

Excuse me, I need to just /CRIES INTENSELY/

Luke won't be tempted to the dark side for his own sake, but Leia's ("If you will not join me, then perhaps she will"). I likewise hold firmly that Anakin/Vader is one of the best movie villains/antiheroes of all time and likewise have many feelings and Strong Opinions about his arc, prequel writing clumsiness and eye-rollingly tepid love story aside. (See: he and Obi-Wan were deeply in love and in a way they still are, don't @ me. I have no problems with Padme and obviously stan Natalie Portman at all times, but Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship is the real love story, the heart of the prequels, and in some ways even the subsequent movies, the end.) And “so this is how democracy dies, with thunderous applause” is... raw af as a line. For being in a Star Wars prequel movie. What?? (Also, the Revenge of the Sith novelization had no business being as good as it was. If only that dude had also written the movie.)

Anyway, my point is: the OG trilogy had plenty of moments of staggering emotional weight and where things genuinely sucked for the good guys and the outcome wasn’t entirely clear. The difference is that it didn’t choose to dwell on them, and it allowed for a transformative fictional space where a happy ending, fiercely fought for and squarely earned, was the right outcome. We didn’t need to go back thirty years later and make everything suck for fear that a cynical modern audience couldn’t connect with it otherwise. (Like I said, we didn’t need the new movies at all, but Disney heard that Cha-Ching of the Almighty Dollar). Star Wars was sci-fi, sure, but it also had the fantasy elements that allowed a happy ending to be the right choice for what we saw the characters go through and the philosophy that carried us through the original trilogy.

Likewise it’s just... Peak as far as dynamics go. C-3PO the fussy metal butler who worries about Everything and R2-D2 who is the droid embodiment of YOLO? Flawless. Sassy scruffy space pirate and badass politician warrior princess bicker constantly, butt heads, drive each other crazy, and then fall in love? Iconic. (And has shaped my ship tastes for... all of eternity, oops.) The above-discussed transformation of Luke Skywalker, whiny ordinary teenage kid, to the truly great man who fulfills what Obi-Wan, Yoda, AND the rest of the entire Jedi order couldn’t manage to do, because of their own flaws and blind spots and black-and-white moral views that didn’t know what to do with a man who loved as passionately as Anakin Skywalker, for better or for worse? The guy who managed to save the galaxy with love? STAN.

So... what? The Disney trilogy decides to retcon all that, throw everything that they’ve fought for out the window, make Han, Leia, and Luke miserable and rejecting the roles they grew into in the original trilogy, and die without ever really reuniting or seeing each other again as a trio? The underlying message was that “these happy endings aren’t satisfactory/realistic/sophisticated enough” and idk, maybe it’s just the shitshow of the last few years, but I’d like to see some entertainment that had the cojones to tell me that despite all the darkness and despair, maybe there’s a chance for hope. (”Rebellions are built on hope,” thank you Only Valid New Star Wars Movie Rogue One.) And Rogue One worked so well, despite being utterly GUTTING as all the heroes died one by one, because we knew what was coming next (A New Hope) and that their sacrifice was going to be worth it. I don’t care if that’s “realistic” or not. As I’ve said before, that’s what stories are for, and if I only wanted things that were Real Life, I would only read the news. Besides, the idea that happy endings never happen in reality is equally bullshit. We as a culture need to accept that more, instead of finding reasons to tear everything down.

So just... yes. The original trilogy might have flaws, but also, it’s perfect. And do I want to rewatch it all now? Kinda.

(Anyway. I warned you this was gonna be long. Oh look, it’s long, and I’m sure there is even more I could say, but still. Ahem.)

sleepover weekend asks

#buffaluff #ask #star wars #long post

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authoressofdarkness · 4 years ago

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His Perfect Model - Chapter 1

Tony doesn’t need the money from porn shoots, Lord knows. It’s just a fun, extremely well paying side gig. But when he somehow acquires permanent... ah, custody... of the omega from his latest shoot, he knows he’s found his perfect model. And their fun together is only beginning. It may take him some time to convince Peter of that, but really, he’s not too worried.

Read on AO3 here. Notes, warnings, and Chapter 1 under the cut.

Notes: Hello hello! I'm back again! This is another random plot bunny that I've been fidgeting with for a while, but I was eventually convinced to get it up sooner rather than later, so here it is! This first chapter is very explicit, and it probably will be rather smutty most of the way through. Not sure how long this will be yet or what it will deal with, but just for transparency, there may be talk of past trauma that could extend to noncon, dubcon, kidnapping, human trafficking, and more. I'll tag each chapter accordingly as we get there, but none of it should be too explicit. Also, anyone familiar with GMSTS will be familiar with how I write ABO, but, as simply as possible, omegas have vaginas, alphas have cocks, and betas are what we would consider "binary." Again, I say so ahead of time just in the interest of transparency so I don't accidentally trigger anyone's dysphoria. Aaaanyway, if you've made it through my rambling and are still interested, yay! Thank you for being here, read on, and I hope you enjoy! <3

He tries not to judge.

That was probably why he gets hired for so many gigs. That and his insane amount of talent, but — well. Anyone could have that amount of talent with working with equipment if they tried. Now the fact that he builds his own… that is something special, he knows.

And, really, his technical prowess was what pays his bills more than anything, and is what made him rich. That, and his father’s name, but he tries to keep that part more under wraps. He’d turned away the responsibility that normally came with being a Stark a long time ago; but the intelligence and the mechanical prowess is practically in his blood. Unable to be rejected.

Anyway, the point is, he doesn’t need to do porn shoots; yet he still enjoys taking these side jobs. He always had, even on his way to the top, and he never made any attempt to hide it.

He doesn’t just shoot porn, of course. He’d lend his camera skills to anyone who asks and has the money to back up the offer. But of course the dirty jobs tend to be his favorites. Any alpha that says they don’t like to pose an omega how they like and look at their pretty pussy for any amount of time — and get paid the big bucks to do it — was certainly a liar.

And yeah, he takes some weird jobs included in that. But he doesn’t ask many questions except on the preferences for stylings of the job, and he’s kinky enough himself to never dream of judging the extremism of it, so… yeah, he makes pretty good money.

Today might be testing the extent of it, though.

The scene he is shooting today isn’t particularly extreme or out of the ordinary, on first glance. The omega was to be strapped to a chair with a wand tied in place to tease his pussy, and Tony is supposed to capture it in photo and on video as his torture goes through stages of multiple denials until he’s hypersensitive and begging to stop. The rest was put as to be determined based on the way it comes out.

It is far from the craziest thing he’s ever shot, and he planned it out easily enough, with a few of his favorite toys and set pieces, and he’s easily ready to go.

The weird part starts when the omega gets there.

It’s apparent immediately that this is no porn star. Aside from his experience in the field and the number of them he actually knew from it, Peter doesn’t carry himself like one. He is small and shy, with a lithe, gorgeous body, as Tony can see from the moment the two gruff alphas accompanying him strip him out of the poor excuse for a covering the omega had been wearing. All he was left in then was a slip, and it’s sheer fabric did nothing to hide the pretty nude form underneath.

Most people arrived in normal clothes and then would either change or strip.

The second thing was that he is already bound. Again, unusual. Clearly he hadn’t driven himself, of course, but… this must be a really elaborate scene for him to already be tied up. And the rope isn’t even the good stuff; it’s plain and grainy, certainly hurting his wrists and not at all his color. Tony always used rope that complimented the style of the scene and the person’s skin. It would be a waste not to.

Peter is gorgeous, and he could have used a lot of colors, admittedly. But the boy is delicate and pale — his pussy much the same in the photos — and so he’d chosen a light pink, one that didn’t wash out his already pale form and almost matched the pretty color of the soft bits he’d been paid to pay special attention to. It’s easy enough to match the background of the scene and the colors of the toys and rope together, thematically.

But that aside, all of the choices up to this point were strange. Stranger than he’s used to. But he makes it a point not to say anything. He’s not being paid to judge.

Even if Peter looks almost scared of the two men he came in with. Even if something rings off about this whole gig.

Tony isn’t stupid, but he doesn’t care much for the loss of business — at least — pushing for the truth would cause. So he pushes the thoughts down and finally approaches the omega.

“Hi, princess. Gentlemen.” He kneels down to be at Peter’s level. “My name’s Tony. I’m going to be the one taking your photos, honey. Can I get you anything before we start? A water? Bathroom break?” The omega silently shakes his head. “Alright. Let's get started then.” He holds out a hand to help him up.

Peter takes it, and Tony helps him to his feet and guides him over to the chair. “Now we’re going to start with some photos on the floor and make our way into the chair. I’m going to change out your ropes. I want you to leave the slip on, for now.” It’s white, a nice color to highlight the details of the creamy skin underneath, and doesn’t contrast with his ropes, either.

He cuts the bonds on the omega’s wrists and reties them in front of him with the pink rope, then has him lay down on the floor, propping his ankles up on the edge of the chair so the slip falls back to expose creamy thighs and stomach and the top of that tantalizing slit from above his pressed-together thighs.

Tony suppresses the urge to purr. “Perfect.” He moves behind the chair and starts taking pictures, ignoring the stir of arousal in his gut at the sight of the gorgeous omega as he does, throwing out occasional changes in position for him to follow.

Peter, for his part, is pretty demure throughout all the photos. He’s quiet — whether shy or afraid to speak, Tony doesn’t ask — but he doesn’t look sullen or make any faces to spoil the photos. He just complies with Tony’s directions, usually silently or with an occasional “yes, sir,” allowing Tony to direct and shoot him in a dozen different positions before allowing him to actually sit in the chair.

Feet on the chair. Legs crossed. Legs open. Spread your folds with your bound hands. One leg up, then the other. Knees bent. To your chest, pussy exposed wide without your fingers. Pull the sheer over it for a few shots. Hold the wand to it. Hands above your head. Hold still while I get shots of it resting there. Tied with the rope like it will be in the video. Lick the wand. Close your eyes and hold it there. Take off the slip. Repeat a few sultry shots without it.

Finally, he picks up the slip and helps the omega to his feet. “You can sit in the chair now. Put the slip back on for a few minutes.”

Peter nods and does as he’s told, and Tony watches, unable to help himself. He doesn’t find himself incredibly attracted to a lot of his clients, at least after so long of doing it, and what with his tastes being so specific… but Peter seemed to hit everything on the head, and god, it was a bit of a problem for him. He’s supposed to be setting up his camera right now, but instead he’s admiring the curve of the omega’s spine and his plump ass as he heads for the chair he’s going to tie him to and-

He snaps out of it. He’s going to shoot the video he’s being paid to shoot, and that’s it. No fantasies allowed. At least not until after when he’s jerking off to the memory of this.

He sets up his video camera, then returns to the little omega, waiting patiently for him to come to him so they could shoot the scene. Tony grabs some more of the pink rope, setting about tying the pretty thing down, wrists to the arms, ankles to the legs, back to the back, and the wand added with a loop through the middle tying his back to the chair, letting it sit perfectly against Peter’s pretty pussy. He tops it off with a blindfold, and purrs at the completed look.

“Perfect. I’m going to get a few more shots before we start filming. Just relax.” He can smell the omega starting to get slick, even just from the wand resting against his pussy. He definitely knows what’s coming. Even though it’s not Tony’s idea, or Tony’s omega, even, he’s getting slightly excited at the thought of being in control and being the one to do this to him.

He gets a lot more excited when they actually start.

He does. He can’t help it. From the moment he turns the toy on and watches the omega’s head loll back in pleasure, eyes fluttering under the blindfold, he’s rock hard in his pants, watching, smelling the omega’s slick as he goes from slightly wet to absolutely drenched and dripping down his own thighs by the third denial. And his moans… the way he meekly whines out for alpha and those little cries of pleasepleaseplease! when he’s on the cusp of orgasm… it’s pornographic, there’s no other word for how obscene and arousing it is, matched only by the way his lithe body squirms in his bonds, fabric around his eyes darkening from tears-

By the fifth denial, Tony is convinced he could probably come in his pants right now from this, if he let himself. He’s half-ass tempted to. The alphas that had brought him in have stepped outside, and Peter is slumped as much as he can be and panting in the chair, still blindfolded, just waiting for him to turn it back on. It would be so easy to rub himself to a quick and dirty orgasm out of any of their lines of sight.

He doesn’t. He turns the toy back on and lets his cock twitch and strain in his pants at the sound of Peter’s broken cry instead, finding this edging to be just as satisfying for him as how it’ll probably end for Peter. At least it’s fair.

One of the alphas that brought him in returns sometime around the eighth denial. He joins him off to the side this time.

“How many?” He sounds almost bored, eyeing the crying and squirming omega with minimal interest.

Tony tried to keep his voice even as he answers, despite the arousal threatening to roughen it. “When I turn it on again, it’ll be nine.”

“Good.” He nods, looking satisfied.

There’s a long moment of silence except for the pitiful whimpering of the omega. Tony breaks it again. “How many times am I supposed to deny him?”

“At least ten.”

“And then?”

The other alpha turns to him. “That depends on you, I think.”

“On me?” He can’t hide his surprise. The paperwork had said to be determined, yes, but he assumed it was to be determined based on what Peter could take. “What do you mean?”

The older alpha gives him a once over and purposefully scents the air before answering. “You want him. Don’t you?”

It’s not like there’s any way of hiding it, but his cheeks still tint pink. “Yes. Who wouldn’t?”

“Well, you have a chance at him before anyone else.” The alpha tilts his head. “How much are you willing to pay?”

“Excuse me?” Tony straightens. “Pay for what?”

“Him.” The alpha tosses his head in Peter’s direction.

Tony lets out a little breath. God, is it tempting, but he doesn’t need anyone else used whore, no matter how pretty he may be. “He’s pretty, I grant you, but I’m not paying to fuck an omega used by how many others before me. Thanks, but no thanks.” It sounded crude, but really. Why would he take a risk like that?

“He hasn’t been. He’s fresh meat.” The other male shrugs. “The shoot is for material to advertise him. He goes online for sale tonight… unless you pay me for him right now.”

Tony doesn’t need him to say it flat out to understand that his suspicions were right — there’s definitely something illegal going on here. And he has a choice.

But what kind of choice is it, really? He only knows two people’s names out of what is surely a ring, and in all likelihood, they’re fake names. These two alphas probably wouldn’t have shared this with him if they weren’t confident that he wants Peter enough to take it. And even the fact they were here and they did this shoot would be enough to get him in trouble, even if he turned it in himself. Not to mention the fact that they know his real identity. These two men or someone else would surely come back after him if he tried to turn them in — if they didn’t kill him flat out.

But if he bought Peter and kept quiet… it was better for him, better for business, and surely better for Peter. He couldn’t be as bad as whoever the boy would end up being sold to on the black market.

Tony meets his eyes. “How much?”

The alpha grins, pretending to think about it. “To have first go round at him? A couple grand. I’ll go back outside and let you have him until sundown, if you give us our material and the cash. To keep him? Well, I still want the photos for promotional material, but… a mil or two.”

Two whole million. For a pure, untouched, gorgeous, terrified omega straight out of his wet dreams.

Tony swallows. It’s hardly a decision. Not when he’s smelling how wet and ready Peter is sitting a few feet away and he knows he could have the money out of the bank as quick as a phone call. It’s not as if he doesn’t have it. “How soon do you want the cash?”

~~~

By the time Peter reaches the tenth denial, Tony officially owns him.

The two other alphas leave with a flash drive with the photos, the money in an account, and the promise that they’ll get the finished product of the video soon.

Soon, but not today, or the next couple, probably. He’s going to be a bit busy.

He fixes the angle of the camera so it’s situated mostly below the neck; the focus of it, of course, on the omega’s creamy open thighs, and the wet pussy forced open between them with the wand. Then he moves around, approaching the omega from the back while he’s slumped in the chair, panting and crying weakly.

He slides the blindfold off the omega’s wet eyes from behind, and Peter immediately straightens, tugging at his bonds. “H-hello? Alpha?” His voice is thick and raspy from crying.

“Hi, honey,” Tony purrs, setting his hands on the omega’s shoulders, enjoying the way he jumps at the touch as he runs them down his body. Deft fingers free the wand from its loop, and Peter sobs in relief.

“Oh alpha, thank you, gods- ngh- “

Peter starts to thank him for removing the wand, but chokes off with a broken cry when it returns, this time in the alpha’s hand. Tony smiles at the response as Peter’s head lolls back into his shoulder, turning it up a setting and shushing him gently at the sob that tears from Peter’s lips again.

He runs his other hand back up Peter’s body and settles it against his chin, grip firm on his throat, forcing him to keep his head back and on his shoulder. He drops his lips to the omega’s ear. “You can sob and struggle all you want to. I’m not going to let you come. And I’m not going to stop torturing you until you stop all of it. Don’t cry, don’t struggle, don’t beg me to let you ruin yourself. When you start saying please and thank you for the pleasure and for what I’m doing to you, and be a respectful, obedient omega, we might stop.”

“It hurts-“ Peter whimpers. “Alpha, daddy , please… I’ll do anything- oh- “ His face presses against Tony’s chest with a tortured cry. His thighs tremble viciously against Tony’s hand, back arching a little over the chair.

Tony feels a pang in his chest, but presses on. They have to finish this video before he starts going soft, at least. “You’ll sit still and be quiet. Here. I’ll even help you.” The hand not holding the wand in place comes up and covers his mouth, holding his head firmly against his shoulder. “Now be good, and I’ll make it stop.”

It takes time. Another few denials, kind of time, but it doesn’t matter. He has as long as needed. He’d given the omega an order, and he’d learn to listen, or they’d keep going all night.

Eventually, shaking and exhausted, Peter goes limp against him, eyes closed, pitiful little sobs audible but no words even trying to come from behind the alpha’s hand, still clamped on his mouth. Tony makes a triumphant little sound, and pulls the wand away. “Look at me, omega.”

Peter’s eyes flutter open, red and wet, fixing on Tony.

“Since you’ve listened, now, we’re going to be done. I’m going to take my hand off your mouth, and I want you to thank me. Don’t stop thanking me, and don’t say please, again, or we’ll stop until you can get control of yourself. Am I clear?” A nod against his hand. “Good.” He lets him go.

Peter takes a small breath. “Thank you.” His voice is barely a hoarse whisper.

“You’re welcome, omega.” Tony presses a kiss to his neck and lets the wand trail back up Peter’s thigh, suppressing a smirk at the way his breath hitches again. “Again.”

“Thank you, Alpha.”

“Good boy. Remember, don’t beg. Just be grateful.” He pauses, then slides the blindfold back on his eyes. He knows they want his full body in this shot, but he isn’t too keen on the possibility of the omega being recognized, either, knowing what he does now. Then he steps away just enough to tilt the camera back up, allowing it to get Peter’s face, and a small portion of his own neck and torso behind him.

When he returns, he takes his chin, turning his head toward the lens. “Look toward the camera, now. Think about how many people are going to see this, honey, and try show them how good you are. Let everyone see how pretty you look when you’re coming, just this once, before I take it all for myself.”

“Yes, alpha. Thank you, alpha.”

“Good boy.” With that, he turns on the wand again.

The omega’s body jumps visibly in the camera lens when the toy finds his swollen clit again. He lets out a broken little cry, but his hips don’t move, even as he starts to tremble again immediately. “Alpha- feels so good, Alpha, thank you- so close, Alpha, so close, thank you- oh god, oh- ngh- “

The force of the orgasm rocks his little body, and he nearly screams at the intensity before going completely limp in the chair again, clearly seeing stars, seeming to have blacked out.

Tony flicks the toy off and lets Peter’s head go, watching it fall to his chest as the omega pants and struggles to regain his senses. He walks over to the camera, taking it off its stand and coming closer.

He trails his fingers from the inside of Peter’s bound leg, up his core, pausing for just a moment to tease that oversensitive little bud, tearing a strangled cry out of Peter that he shushes, and then clear up to his face. He cups his cheek, stroking it as the omega’s unfocused eyes try to open under the fabric, clearly barely holding on to consciousness.

“You know you want one,” he murmurs, just loud enough to be heard. “So come get it.”

Then he shuts the camera off, setting it aside and turning completely back to Peter. It was time to get the omega home.

Taglist: @snowstark @serrabloodsong

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faelapis · 4 years ago

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so. while this was confirmed a year ago, new tweets by ian jq have reawakened the discourse about humans being the first intelligent life gems encountered. note intelligent life, not organic life. alien animals still died from previous invasions, but humans are the first intelligent creatures gems encountered.

apparently, the party line on twitter (where nuance goes to die) is that it’s too “convenient” that humans are the first other intelligent species gems met.

i take a few issues with that assessment:

a) “it was pink’s first colony, isn’t it convenient the diamond concerned with organic life owns the first planet populated by intelligent organics? wouldn’t they have died if any other diamond got them? isn’t that super lucky?”

no. we know rose/pink was very interested in organic life from before earth. she always thought aliens were cool, interesting, fun, and liked learning about them and keeping some as pets - such as the rainbow worms. we know she visited the others’ colonies, even if she doesn’t own them. she’s the only diamond who is simultaneously “selfish” enough to visit colonies up-close on a whim because it’s fun AND doesn’t see herself as too good to play with local organics.

so, then, why on earth (hah) wouldn’t she care if there had been intelligent life on any of the other planets? she didn’t fight for earth just because she “owned” it. she cared because she was able to form connections to humans... which she would have done regardless of which diamond’s colony it was. if anything, ownership is a hindrance to her usual romps, because blue & yellow expected her to stay put in her moon base. smile and wave. be a “leader”.

b) “how is it realistic that humans are the first intelligent life gems have met?”

the SU universe as a whole is not a universe filled with life. it has been framed as cold, animalistic, overall lifeless, purposeless, and one in which you gaze at an empty sky and beg for an authority figure to give your life meaning. this works much, much better if life, especially intelligent life, is incredibly sparse. they are small flickers in a cold void. it adds to the feeling that both humans and gems feel of loneliness and pointlessness, where you create these intricate structures of organized almost-religion to feel devoted to a purpose. this existentialism, which we will explore further below, is a huge part of SU’s themes.

c) another theme - and this one is important - is that gems and humans have been treated as this mirror parallel of life, people, and society (tm) for the entire runtime of the show. hence, steven as the bridge. a bridge, usually, connects two sides, not five. they are more similar than they are different - to the point where you can use gemkind to comment on how humans are like, and see some of the horrors and tragedy of what humanity looks like “from the outside”. not once has there ever been implied to be any other intelligent species to disrupt this elegant, thematic dichotomy. ever.

d) unlike fanon speculation, the show has always been very careful about never implying there were any previous rebellions. SU is not a star wars-esque universe populated with a million different intelligent species and cyclical rebellions + alliances between them. it is a big, cold, empty void, with tiny pockets of fragile life. which is part of why the connection between two alien species is so remarkable. it is the exception, not the rule.

e) many of us who looked at homeworld in a not-badfaith light already came to the conclusion that humans are probably the only intelligent life they’ve met. (based on what we know about the universe, its logic, the themes, the implications of other colonies, pink diamond’s personality, no other species ever bonded with enough to fight for, etc etc,)... and those of us who did, including myself, have (lovingly!!) compared the crystal gems to hippies or eco-terrorists. this 100% holds up to how homeworld gems generally, and the diamonds specifically, see them.

this is why blue thinks a “solution” to pink being sad about the invasion is to create the zoo. it’s a petty conflict, from her perspective, of environmentalism vs conservationism. like how, if a capitalist is kinda sad about a rainforest being bulldozed, you might as well just take some pretty toucans and panthers and stick them in a zoo. they’re preserved for humans to enjoy. problem “solved”. it worked with the kyanite colony & rainbow worms, why not here?

this is part of why lapis accuses the CGs of not caring about gemkind. they put this silly little dirtball above gemkind, starting a war that hurt (”real”) people?

this is also why pink, mocking the other diamonds, says “you wish to save these life-forms at the expense of our own? ha! don't be absurd!”. gemkind needs resources to create more gems. so, to the diamonds, of course that’s more important than Making The Bees and Monkeys Sad. they’re not even directly killing them, they’re just taking resources. it’s not “””their fault””” they need ‘em too, gems are more important. the same way, to us, humans are always the most important. many of us don’t give a damn about how we hurt animals.

f) it galls me that anything but the darkest possible interpretation, even when it makes perfect sense with what we know, is always seen as “convenient” by people who watched nostalgia critic once and think they’re now great media critics. i saw similar comments to jasper being brought back to life, even though it made perfect sense with what’s implied about the powers of the diamonds. most of that, too, was woven together by paying close attention to implication, not outright stated in a lore dump - but that doesn’t make it “convenient” in the bad way. it makes it the logical outcome of this world, if you paid attention.

like jasper coming back to life, it also told us something thematic about the diamonds’ absolute power over life & death. steven is kinda horrified, even if it’s a good thing, that things can ever be fixed. he still feels like he needs to be “punished”. he holds this toxic mindset that punishment is more important than healing, because of the pit of self-harm he’s fallen into... which is kind of how some people see the diamonds, and the world as a whole.

even if things can get better, it doesn’t matter. at least not as much as punishing and distancing ourselves from the “bad people”. even though, actually, things CAN get better, and that’s more dependent on systemic change than it is on punishing “bad” individuals... that doesn’t fascinate them. it’s a fucked-up idea of “consequences” that is sadly prevalent in fandoms: they’d rather the world be doomed if they get to kill the bad people for it, than the world being slowly healed in this bittersweet way that includes everyone.

and i’m tired of that. on the whole, fiction is a reflection of this very dour, justice-oriented view of the world where we can only gain satisfaction from punishing the bad guys responsible. SU’s response to that is, that actually, just this once... no! the world gets better, and the “how” doesn’t revolve around individual punishment. it’s trying to heal everyone.

g) it seems to me that for a substantial amount of people, “convenience” has less to do with the themes and logic of the world than it does with wanting canon to live up to their fanon image of homeworld and the diamonds. even if that means a ton of offscreen intelligent life dying Just for the sake of a 1-v-1 earth-vs-gems conflict, with no agency in the story. i don’t understand how that would make it better. all other life we’ve seen have been animals. pink was around for other colonies - even if she didn’t personally “own” them - yet didn’t care deeply enough to fight for them. because she couldn’t bond with worms the same way as humans. (yknow, unfortunately, for the worms :’<)

also, you don’t NEED other species of intelligent life to have been made extinct to still have a somewhat cynical interpretation of the diamonds’ intentions here. even if it makes the world less grimdark in praxis. it’s not enough to be aware of humans in the abstract, blue and yellow still won’t listen. you need to actually interact with humans in order to learn about / care for organics that don’t serve a purpose in your system. this was just the first chance gemkind had to do so. it makes sense that some would be curious, while others more jaded and dismissive, after encountering a universe mostly made of the lifeless & animals.

to give the other diamonds some credit, they’ve probably encountered plenty organic life, and thus have built up a bias that everyone but gemkind are aimless, animalistic life forms, and its up to them to give themselves purpose. why should humans be any different? oh wow, they live in groups? big whoop. so do ants. they build nests? so do birds. they babble? so do parrots and rainbow worms. they still serve no purpose. they still die if you breathe on them.

it’s only when blue meets greg - thousands of years later - that we see even the tiniest of cracks, in which blue is made aware of some level of emotional intelligence, but is still firmly entrenched in the view that he’s just a Slightly more advanced organic than others. like... puppies comforting you. she was surprised he could even do that much. this was a slow process for rose as well!

but anyway, at the point of the war, to many gems, they are concerned first and foremost with gemkind. life matters because of your singular, gem-oriented “purpose”... but some gems, like pink, who never saw herself as a justified goddess, take the opposite approach. they don’t see themselves as “above” other life out of either lack of awareness of the capabilities of intelligent life forms or a self-appointed Higher Purpose. they’re curious, and then, willing to fight for life they can bond with, once they learn to love.

which brings me to...

h) how a big theme of the show as a whole is selflessness vs selfishness.

here, the crystal gems as a whole have actually been on the side of selfishness, from homeworld’s perspective. the end of gathering resources would mean they would no longer create more gems. which, to HW, is selfish. which... of course it is, if you think you’re the only intelligent life out there.

the way homeworld gems express themselves is through an elaborate system of self-perpetuation and creation, in which the emergence of more gems is a higher purpose for the collective. the individual doesn’t matter. to them, the random creatures they find on other planets do not matter. they’re just organics.

humans matter to pink because she’s, like i said, curious about alien life, and less convinced about her own purpose... but also more personal, relationship-driven, and cares about what happens the specific individuals she subjectively bonds with, rather than prioritizing the overall “needs” of her species, like a good queen bee is “supposed” to do.

homeworld thinks that no individual feelings - even a diamond’s - is more important than perpetuating of the system that gives their species meaning. most gems are happy to be shattered for that cause, because they’ve never formed those “selfish” relationships that makes life worth living without purpose. so actually, yes, this works with pink’s motivation, and blue and yellow not being as easily swayed works with theirs.

(all of this is extremely relevant to the arc steven has in “future”, btw. he needs a reason to be needed, purpose. and pearl’s arc, white diamond’s arc, jasper’s arc, etc etc - living for purpose vs living for relationships and selfish exploration of the self is a massive theme of the whole show!! at leaast if you pay attention to anything more subtle than merely “here’s a lore dump!”, which the show has always avoided. it’s more sublime than that. you, too, are supposed to only have a small, subjective understanding of the world, like steven does, which teaches you to value subjective perspectives. your purpose is not higher than the agency of others, and you shouldn’t control the world.)

i) it makes dramatic sense, actually, to center the conflict around the first time gems have met another species that stand a chance of understanding them! hence steven is a bridge. that’s a good basis for mirroring two species, a conflict that raises interesting questions about how we, too, see non-human life, the premium we place on emotional connection vs “purpose”, and how even when we learn to value humans that are different from us, we might still fuck around and bulldoze a rainforest, if it’s convenient and we can justify it internally.

and again, it’s more logical. as we know it, the story went “long ago, gems took resources all over the universe, until pink found a species intelligent enough some of them learned to bond with on a deeper level than Cool Pet Worm”, NOT “long ago, gems zapped a bunch of intelligent species - which we will not mention ever, or give any agency in the story - and pink just ignored that, until she randomly decided humans were more important than all those, for no reason, even though she’d met countless intelligent species before”.

the former makes more sense in ~every reading of canon, be it thematic, logical, personal, character-driven, etc~... except the one most favored by SU’s most badfaith of critics, which is that the only “logical” way for the story to go is one in which we can safely label the diamonds as inhumanly, unchangably bad, rather than having base assumptions, motivations and logics that aren’t so different from many non-dictator humans.

i think for some, they protest not because that makes more sense on a thematic, logical or character level, but simply because they want to. they’re USED to being fed that narrative satisfaction has to do with seeing the bad guys face comeuppance, in place of inclusive, welfare-oriented healing. faced with storytelling that rejects their view of justice while also openly being subjective, sublime, and loving of all of its characters, not just the “nice” ones, they see it as a “failure” to be what they’re used to.

if the world CAN systemically heal in a way that includes people you personally don’t forgive, that must be a “flaw”. if those “bad guys” haven’t actually killed hundreds of intelligent species offscreen who have no chance to heal, that doesn’t fuel your justification for the most cynical interpretation of justice possible, so that, too, “must” be a “flaw”. if it’s framed as possible for them to work towards undoing their harm, that deprives you of the satisfaction of edgy punishment for unhealable hurt, so that, too, is of course a “flaw”. any world where healing is possible for everyone, and the perpetrators can contribute, must be a “flaw”, to a mind only concerned with the validity of vengeance.

even when the story is perfectly candid that you’re personally allowed to be hurt and traumatized (like steven - and most characters, really), you’re still allowed to feel... you just can’t expect society as a whole to abandon its “inclusive healing” model and function on your logic; that your pain is solved by vengeance. it isn’t.

in short, cry about it.

#steven universe #homeworld #the diamonds #rose quartz #pink diamond #rose diamond #jasper #su theory #su future #su analysis #and by 'a few issues' i mean 'let me write you a novel about why this was always canon'#i know it must be a big blow if you've decided you're morally superior for hating SU based on fanon assumptions #but that's kinda on you fam. stop listening to bad youtubers. and do indeed cry about it - it's healthy

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