phytoremediator

[phytoremediator]

harrison bergeron review

really fuckin weird! definitely a poorly written and thought out reactionary polemic against affirmative action, accommodation, prosthesis, etc. do better, kurt. I can definitely see some parallels to terfs and present conservative reactionaries today, so at least there's that. Very short so some points in favor there

[phytoremediator]

Shadow of the Erdtree review

PC, 2024, DLC for Elden Ring, $40

Verdict: Not worth $40. 7.5/10

Elden Ring was my first soulslike. After a couple of false starts a few weeks after release I settled into a strength build and achieved the Age of Stars ending (Ranni's) and got all remembrances. A year later I even filled out my inventory with missing items like obscure talismans and tried a new dex build and didn't get very far. In between, I played Dark Souls (even streamed it), Bloodborne (loved it), DS2 (worse than 1), DS3 (best of the trilogy - haven't played the DLC), Demon's Souls remake (good, but faithful copying of esoteric and clunky mechanics detracted), Sekiro (not for me, i.e. "too hard"), and Lies of P (excellent soulslike. Got all achievements. Some quests a bit annoying).

In the lead-up to the DLC I was mostly debating whether or not it'd be worth the steep price tag despite really wanting to play it. I can talk about value but I don't want to sound like Marx in this review. I'd probably lean towards the value being $25. Far less to do than the base game, which is $60 (less if you get it on sale). It's sort of worth playing, but the content duration is only extended by virtue of needing to retry bosses like Radahn, Consort of Miquella over and over again.

DLC content that requires a significant portion of gameplay to get to and in turn requires choices or includes points of failure can be a headache for blind playthroughs. I ended up following a basic side quest guide after accidentally (?) slaying a member of the forager brood and angering Moore, locking myself out of some recipes. This helped somewhat but I still missed out on Ansbach's bow due to siding with the Hornsent who promptly invades me in Rauh. Whatever. I could copy the nonsense pathed absurdly named save file into a backup folder like I did to get the last two achievements I was missing (Elden Lord and Lord of Frenzied Flame) but that seemed like too much work.

There are a few side areas and overall the exploration was fun. Once you grab the first few easy upgrade materials it becomes easier to get the rest. The handful of dungeons were well put together but generally relied on lethal falls as a threat. Bayle the Dread was kind of gimmicky in that you needed a blessing and an ally to defeat him. The furnace golems were also the essence of gimmick and had insane damage. Midra was easy but I tackled him at 20/10 upgrade level. The uh, Putrescence Knight? was easy enough, though I really expected sleep to be more of a threat in Stone Coffin Fissure/Cerulean Coast, while it was actually absent. Shadow Sunflower wasn't too bad and thematically interesting, although I like my plants alive, not undead or shadowy. The boar rider guy caught me off guard but I defeated him second try despite his ridiculous hitboxes. Metyr and its side quest was probably the most enjoyable of the side quests, though it felt a bit empty. Mostly I was like "welcome back Bloodborne" because of the cosmic horror and motherhood.

The main quest was fairly enjoyable - I defeated Divine Beast Dancing Lion first because I watched SGDQ 2024 and that's what the runner did. Anyway, the NPCs each had their little goals that changed a bit after defeating Rellana and approaching the Shadow Keep, but none I agreed with. Leda has the archetype of golden zealot, whose gleaming armor belies a bloodthirst. Ansbach wears his bloodiness on the outside and allies with you if only to give Mohg a proper burial. Thiollier is pathetic yet probably the most agreeable character. After slaying Messmer, whose design is targeted towards people vulnerable to evil blorbos, you go through another area and fight another boss. After a bit you make your way to where Miquella is doing some very weird necromancy (hashtag toxic yaoi) and eventually slay him and Radahn. Well, I would have. I got him down to 10% but didn't feel like grinding the rest of the way. Also it seems that asking Ansbach and Thiollier to help actually makes the fight significantly harder, for some reason. So I'll just have to imagine Miquella being very sad about dying.

Many fans were blinded by some of the antagonists being pretty, going so far as to romanticize Miquella's divine power of coercion. Messmer was the subject of evil blorbo-ing from the moment of his reveal. His crimes are self-evident and yet he is upheld as a tragic figure who impaled and burned for love.

The DLC is very self-contained. You access it after defeating Mohg, which is usually the last remembrance boss players defeat in the main game. The Shadow Realm is an entirely different map. The story and lore in the main game barely makes reference to anything happening in the DLC, save for Marika, Miquella/St. Trina, Radahn, and Mohg. Much of the DLC builds off of the existing lore (+3 talismans, anyone?), though it emphasizes the motif of light and shadow. This is a familiar and ubiquitous concept but I would like to make special reference to the twin trees of Valinor in The Lord of the Rings lore, as the Erdtree and Scadutree may well be inspired by these two. I would have liked some stuff retconned into the main game and the DLC content be more integrated into the main game lore and world. I replayed from the start prior to the DLC and found nothing new to suggest the existence of pretty much anything in the Realm of Shadow. I always side with Ranni but there wasn't really a way to play the DLC in a manner befitting this, though you do end up slaying Messmer and Miquella and also some fingers (Metyr) anyway.

Overall, pretty enjoyable. If I had to give it a score I'd probably say 7.5/10. Point off for bad difficulty scaling especially after hitting a wall with the final boss. Point off for not tying in with the rest of the game enough and being a bit empty in places. The main quest feels especially pointless since Miquella's grand plan is only revealed fully at the end and you promptly put a stop to it. Half a point off for combat gimmicks that require abnormal gameplay (Bayle, furnace golems, aging untouchable, Radahn). The bulk of the Realm of Shadow was well executed and pretty (and gross), most of the bosses and enemies were engaging, and some of the new equipment was worthwhile. Pick it up if you're really into Elden Ring but if some of the negatives are glaring you can wait until it goes on sale.

[phytoremediator]

fellas…..

[phytoremediator]

vamps.png

[phytoremediator]

Jon he's really trying here cut him a break

(tumblr crunched the resolution of this comic a lot rip)

[phytoremediator]

What the sneef? I'm snorfin' here!

[phytoremediator]

Which one are you? I’m Aerial Fishing

[phytoremediator]

‘Give Pigeons A Chance’ A drawing for all of the magical and misunderstood birds

[prints]

[phytoremediator]

the divine foresight (alternative title: when will this man come home, i ran out of jades)

[phytoremediator]

welt discovers something new

[phytoremediator]

can't leave them alone for 2 minutes

[phytoremediator]

I made this last year when reading Dracula Daily, but I was too much of a coward to post it. Now I am no longer held back by earthly matters such as "reputation".

This is the original text from the book, but wildly misinterpreted. enjoy

[phytoremediator]

[phytoremediator]

never forget what green onion has done for you.. for all of us

[phytoremediator]

An unpaid babysitter

[phytoremediator]

omw getting my level up rewards and ignoring the trauma dumping creature

[phytoremediator]

Pompom