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danniburgh · 4 years ago

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A million little times. (Dave York x f!reader)

Pairing: Dave York x f!reader

Summary: You scourged yourself for starting it and then having the audacity of asking for more.

You fell in love, he didn’t love you, yet you were willing to let him ruin you a million little times.

Word count: +5.2k

Warnings: welp this IS Dave York, but somehow came out softer than we’re used to lmao, SMUT SMUT SMUT minors BEGONE, some dirty talk, infidelity (not condoning it), some of reader’s and Dave’s dialogues may get you uncomfortable as they talk about possessiveness and HINTS of doing things against one’s will.

A/N: look guys, i don’t know what came onto me but i wanted two things, to write about our dear suburban murder daddy (because i love him and i love the dave york pit) and write something HEAVILY based on illicit affairs by my dearest ty ty. So here it is, this is more based on the bridge and the chorus of the song because those lines just do stuff to me, hope you like it :)

Masterlist // Read on ao3 // ko-fi

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓

“I’m going out” you said, zipping up your hoodie, heading for the door.

“Where the fuck are you going? it’s pouring outside,” your roommate questioned from the sofa she was lounging on, looking at you then at the window, she could see a lightning at the distance.

You grabbed your car keys and an umbrella from the small rack you kept by the door, more to make her stop questioning you than to actually use it outside.

“Somewhere” you replied without looking at her.

“Are you gonna see him? again?” she stood up and walked towards you, you rolled your eyes, she knew you too well “I thought you… dumped him”

“I did” you muttered, looking at your running shoes, knowing that if you held her really heavy judging gaze she would pull out the truth from you. You never left him, but you were about to.

“Then why the fuck are you going to see him?” she crossed her arms on her chest and you felt a tug on your stomach and bit your lip “holy shit” she made you look at her by grabbing your chin with her fingers and lifting your face “oh c’mon dude, seriously?”

“I’m gonna break up with him today!” you told her, almost whining.

“There’s nothing to break up!” she dropped her hand and let out an exasperated sigh, you knew she was right “he’s married! he’s older!”

“Don’t you think I don’t fucking know that?” you spat at her. She rolled her eyes.

“You had tried to end things with that man four times now,” she sounded tired, she wasn’t scolding you anymore, she was trying to remind you “what is he doing to you? Fuck, you’re not like this!”

You dropped your eyes to the floor again. He was doing so much; he was a lot to take. That man was killing you inside and taking away everything you were, he was eating your soul and you were letting him.

He was incredibly overwhelming, astonishingly overpowering, he suffocated you in the most delicious way; he was exhausting and demanding and knew you thoroughly, inside and out. He was too much and not enough. He was never nearly enough. And that was consuming you.

“You don’t really wanna know,” you said “but I’m gonna end things... today, I promise”

“Don’t make promises you know you can’t keep,” she murmured, going around you to open the door “I really hope you know what you’re doing”

“I am” you turned around and walked out. She called your name before closing the door.

“Please, be careful” you nodded instantly, not knowing if she knew something else you hadn’t told her or if she was just referring to the terrible weather outside. “good luck,” and she closed the door.

You stood in the hallway for a few seconds. Her last two words were weighing heavily in your mind, and you wondered again if she knew something. She couldn’t, but it wouldn’t be at all surprising. But you were grateful, you needed good luck. With Dave York, you always needed the luck on your side.

You parked the car and turned off the ignition. It was already dark, the only light that softly illuminated the inside of the car was the pink and blue led lights of the motel’s signboard, and the thick raindrops hitting the windshield made a gloomy, unsettling symphony that invaded your ears and was starting to drill inside your brain.

You hesitated to send him a text that read im here, but did it anyway, and waited there for his text back as you always did, he would tell you which room you needed to go to and how long you had to wait for him.

Because he always made you wait. He made sure you knew he was the one making time for you in his so full schedule and you had to be available for him at any time, any day he wanted.

You wanted to leave; you were considering just turning back on the ignition, reverse the car out of the parking lot and go back home.

Were you seriously thinking about standing him up?, you couldn’t do that, not to him. You knew he was capable of driving all the way to your apartment, kick off the door and fuck you senseless as a punishment.

He was too much and you couldn’t take it, that’s why you wanted it to stop.

Yet you received his text almost right away, he was already waiting for you inside. That made you anxious, because he never did that.

You got out of the car and ran to the stairs, not minding getting wet as the distance from the parking lot to the covered hallway was not very long. You tried to control your breathing as it hitched when you reached the room with the number 2B on the white door and you failed.

The door opened before you could even raise your hand to knock, and there he was. In all his clean, broad, stiff glory.

“Hi” was the only thing you could breathe out, his eyes wandered through your body from the running shoes you slipped on when you got his i want to see you text, to the black leggings you were already wearing that he liked too much and your crimson hoodie you grabbed from the laundry pile on the floor of your room.

His face was unreadable as always, but somehow after all the time you’ve been… what you were, you knew he wasn’t very fond of the ensemble you had put together.

“Dave?” you broke the silence, he looked back at you and moved to the side to let you into the room. Once you got in, he swiftly closed and locked the door and in one long step he was pressing his chest against your back and his half hardened cock against your ass, ripping a whimper out of your throat.

“I missed you, baby,” his voice was deep and hungry in your ear, his hands were hot and heavy roaming around your hips and your stomach, one of them traveled quickly under your hoodie and the tank top you were wearing and cupped your breast, he liked you better when you weren’t wearing a bra “I missed these tits” he pressed an open mouthed kiss on your jaw and a moan left your body without your permission, his other hand was about to snake inside your leggins when you grabbed his wrist and stopped it.

“Dave” you breathed, feeling his smirk on the skin of your neck, his hand on your chest kneaded the flesh and his fingers played with your nipple. You were wet and for the first time in god knows how long you didn’t like it.

“Say my name again” he ordered. You shook your head trying to focus.

“Dave, stop” your voice was thin but sharp and stung into him exactly like a needle. He stopped his movements but didn’t remove his hands from your body.

“What do you mean stop?” he grunted, still in your ear you tried to move your head away from his lips, to move your body away from him but his embrace was tight and it was too overwhelming for you to form a coherent sentence.

“I want this to stop” the words left your mouth before you could really measure the weight of them.

Then and only then Dave broke all contact with you, and even there, your body shivered at the loss of his heat.

“Again with that shit?” he grunted out, you looked down and tried to regain your composure “you need to understand something, baby” he grabbed your shoulder and turned you around to face him “you’re mine” he cupped your face with both hands and pressed his mouth with yours hoarsely, your hands instinctively placed themselves on his chest and you tried to push him away “your mouth is mine” he growled, his lips traveled to your neck and he bit the tender flesh over the jugular, making you whine “this neck is mine” one of his hands snaked down and he cupped your breast over the thick fabric of the hoodie “these tits are mine” that same hand traveled further down and around your body and he fisted your buttcheek, you started trembling “this ass in mine” you shook your head again, his hand gripped your chin and you felt his fingers digging on your cheek, a shaky moan escaped you when he palmed your pussy over the leggings “this cunt is mine” he moved your head and made you look at him in the eyes. Lust and anger had darkened his brown hard eyes “you’re all mine and you’re not leaving me”.

“I’m not yours” you breathed out on his hand and when you thought his eyes couldn’t look at you worse, they hardened even more.

“No?” he pulled your head, making your forehead clash with his “are you telling me you’re not?”

When had you become so scared of him?

You felt a familiar sting on your throat and your lower lip started trembling.

“Don’t even think about crying right now” he spat, his voice was two octaves lower than it normally is and a tear slipped out. He grumbled and lick it away off your cheek “even your tears are mine”

“Please,” you pleaded “Dave, please”

“Dave please” he mocked you and his hand moved to your neck, your breath hitched and you closed your eyes, waiting for him to squeeze “why do you wanna leave me?”

The question lingered in the tight space between your faces and you gulped hard, trying to understand if it was just a rhetorical or an actual question. The silence fell heavy and the gloomy symphony the rain was making had stopped outside.

He stood there, crazily close to you, his hand around your neck and the other grabbing your wrist. He was waiting for you to respond and you were trying to gather all your thoughts. You weren’t sure if your reasons were going to be enough for him, but you needed to try.

“Can you please let go of me?” you asked him softly, opening your eyes to meet his. “please”

His hands left your body, and he sighed, visibly tired, and you knew you had little time to try to explain to him everything you wanted before he got desperate and tried to fuck you again.

“Sit” he ordered, you stepped backwards and the back of your knees hit the mattress, you sat and he stood in front of you, crossing his arms on his chest, just waiting for you to begin.

“I–I want more” you mumbled, dropping your gaze yet again to avoid his heavy eyes on you “and you can’t give it to me”

“What more do you want?” he walked to you and his body heat made your eyes close

“You” you let out, feeling your eyes fill with tears again and your chest stung when he let out an exasperated sigh.

“You’ve got me” his voice was rough, you shook your head.

“No, I don’t” you stood up “fuck, Dave, you’re married!” you panted, his arms dropped and he just stared at you.

“Sit down!”

“Drop it!” you cut him off “you have kids!” and the sudden realization that he didn’t care about that as he looked at you with a serious but blank expression made you want to scream “and I’m what? your relief?”

“Listen to me–” he started, you shook your head.

“No, stop!” you blinked your tears away “and I think I might be sick because I–I think I love you”

You saw his eyes shift, his strong, inexpressive facade fell for a few seconds as his brow furrowed slightly. And against your will, it gave you the smallest hint of hope.

No, he doesn’t love you, he will never love you.

“And you’re consuming me, Dave,” you let out “I don’t like the person I am when I’m with you”

“Baby–”

“Don’t call me that” you begged, wiping the tears that had fallen down your cheeks “I’m a mess, Dave” you sobbed out “I let you take over my life!”

He gave a step towards you and you lifted your palm to make him stop.

“I let you control every single aspect of my life, I’m such an idiot,” he shook his head “yes! I am be–because I’m still here! I’m letting you ruin me yet another time!”

He called your name roughly, and you shivered at the sound of it in his voice. There had been a long time since he last used your name.

“I’m not gonna let you leave,” he drawled, his voice still low. He walked towards you again and grabbed your wrists “you’re not walking out on me, you hear me?” your face quirked in pain and he let go of one of your wrists and moved his hand up to wipe your tears with the back of his fingers “you knew what you were getting into,” he cupped your face “I’m not letting you go and you will take what I give you,” he closed the distance between you.

You knew this would happen; you knew he wouldn’t accept it; you were tired. He was exhausting.

His lips were soft and warm against yours and for a moment, his touch on your face made you feel cared for.

“For how long?” you asked on his lips, he moved back to look at you with a frown “how long will you keep me?”

Were you really agreeing to this? Were you just about to take it? He was basically forcing you at that point and you were really just… embracing it?

“You really want out?” you saw him studying your face, his eyes traveled around your pained expression and you saw them flash in front of you, you blinked away the tears that had gathered in your eyes and nodded.

“You’re destroying me,” you whispered.

“How am I destroying you?” his question sounded genuine, as if he was surprised at your revelation.

“Don’t you know?” you saw him shaking his head slowly “think about it Dave, you’re too overwhelming, too apprehensive, too rough, too much,”

“You like it” he let out, almost as if he was reminding you of it.

“That’s the thing, I love it,” you whined out “I love you and you don’t love me and all thi–”

“Who says I don’t?” he cut you off, you widened your eyes.

“What?” your voice roughened and his jaw tightened.

“Don’t think for me,” he spat, his hands moved to your shoulders “if I’m telling you I won’t let you leave it’s not because I want to keep you against your will,” you sighed “it’s because I just want you,” he licked his lips and breathed out heavily “I get it, it’s not fair, I won’t leave my family,” you felt your lids drop and a whimper left your body “I can’t give you what I already gave to them,” you felt your legs weaken and his hands slid from your shoulders to your waist as he held you “I can just give you this, and if you won’t take it, then go and I won’t bother you again”

“Fuck,” you breathed out, he broke the embrace he had you in and you sat on the bed slowly, hand resting on your thighs, head hanging low, tears slipping out. He kneeled in front of you. His face was blank again, but there was something behind his eyes that told you he didn’t want you to leave him.

For a moment you let yourself remember how everything had started. It was an autumn night, months and months before that felt like years.

You were getting into a coffee shop and he was heading out; you bumped into each other and he spilled his black coffee all over your beige coat. You had giggled, and he was almost mortified, rambling about paying the dry cleaning and buying you another coat, he even gave you his card and offered to pay for your coffee order. You told him over and over not to worry and accepted his drink offer with the condition of drinking it with him. He introduced himself and asked for your name; you had seen the golden ring in his left hand right away and yet you still flirted with him because you didn’t think he would take onto your advances; he told you he had enjoyed your company and asked for your number when you were saying goodbye.

He called you for the first time the next day and asked you out. He proposed it as two new friends getting to know each other, but the whole dinner he was eating you with his eyes. You were enjoying the way he was looking at you and talking to you and how his hand slid on the table to brush your knuckles, and when he asked you if you wanted to go somewhere else you didn’t hesitate in saying yes.

That night he fucked your brains out in a nice hotel suite he had previously reserved, because he knew you wouldn’t say no.

And from there you opened up to him, he taught you new things about your body you had never known; he made you cum in so many ways you never knew were possible; he kissed you and took your breath away; he ate you out like a thirsty man drinking a glass of water after three days on the dessert; he fucked you like it was the first and the last time.

He had memorized every single thing you liked; he knew your body in ways you didn't and he let you get to know his so you could give him as much pleasure as he wanted.

Dave soon enough became the owner of every single thought and free hour you had.

He invaded your mind and your body in the most delicious way; he took over and appropriated your whispers, your sighs, your shudders, your orgasms and every gasp and moan that came out of your mouth. He was rough and broad and hard, and he praised you as you liked it, and he gave into your demands and kinks as much as you gave into his.

He became everything you wanted, and he possessed you in so many ways you stopped going out with friends to meet with him. You changed your schedule as he asked and accommodated yourself to please his needs. Dave occupied your life and you let him.

Yet you knew nothing about him.

Of course he told you he was married. But you found out he had two daughters when you picked up his wallet from the floor and saw the picture of them he had inside. He never told you their names or their ages. He never told you what he did for a living or where he lived.

And after some time he stopped taking you into nice hotel suites and started meeting you in cheap motels. He started being rougher, and you started loving him.

And every orgasm he took out of you and every sigh and moan and whimper and gasp came out of you with so much love you knew he could feel it, yet he said nothing and made sure you didn’t ask for more.

You didn’t know at what point it became unbearable, unsustainable, incredibly hard to meet him. You started thinking about his wife, about his daughters, about the things he had with them and not with you.

You scourged yourself for starting it and then having the audacity of asking for more.

Then you asked him to stop all of it for the first time, and he just brushed it off and fucked you with his fingers and his mouth and his cock until you forgot the idea.

The second time you asked, he took you to dinner after having you ride him for two hours and ripped out of you so much pleasure you thought it was going to change something.

But it didn’t.

And so on.

And now he was kneeling in front of you while you sobbed your eyes out and he was still as overwhelming and overpowering as he always was, yet his body radiated so much heat you wanted to rip his clothes off and show him how much he had made you love him.

“I’m obsessed with you,” he muttered, taking your hands and intertwining them with his “you keep roaming around my mind like it’s your job to invade my every thought,” you looked at him and his eyes pulled something inside you that didn’t have a name until that same moment “I think about you when I’m fucking my wife, and I have to stop myself from calling her by your name,” two thick tears escaped your eyes and he took a hand out of the entanglement on your lap to brush them off softly “I need you,”

He said he needed you and you believed him. You needed him too, even though he was never going to fully be yours, even though he would never give you what you wanted and the cheap motels or the nice hotel suites and the sporadic dinner dates would never be nearly enough.

He said he needed you and you needed him more. More than he could ever need you. You needed him and wanted him and loved him so bad you were willing to take in whatever he wanted to give you from himself, even if it was scraps and crumbles of an already taken and loved man.

“Fuck, Dave,” you looked at him, his eyes deep and mysteriously bewitching, and you knew instantly, you would let that man break you in infinite pieces, you would let him use you and manhandle you as he pleased and you would let him ruin you over and over again.

“I need you” he repeated, with another connotation. He needed your body, and you needed his. You let out a heavy sigh and lifted your hands to cup his face, he immediately pushed himself up and took your lips on his.

His kiss was eager, anxious and hungry. His hands moved to your waist, and he slowly made you lay on the bed, leaning down with you to hover over your body with his knees on each side of your thighs on the mattress, without breaking the kiss.

Dave slid a hand inside your hoodie and started wandering around the skin of your belly and your chest. His hand was still warm and his touch was softer than it had been the last few dozen times he had touched you.

You let out a soft whimper when his tongue licked your lower lip and gained access to your mouth; he let you put your hands around his neck and your fingers started playing with the short hair on his nape.

“Your lips are mine” he whispered against your lips, you smiled softly. Of course.

“Yours, ”

His hand inside your hoodie moved to your breast, and he started playing softly with your nipple, you felt your arousal gathering inside your thighs.

You felt a tug inside your lower belly when he moved his mouth to your neck and started leaving kisses on the soft skin, Dave hadn’t kissed your neck like that since the first time he had fucked you.

“Your neck is mine” his breathing hit the wet spot he had kissed, and you moaned.

“Yours,”

His other hand played with the hem of your leggings, and he licked your earlobe.

“Stand up, let me take off your clothes,” he whispered into your ear, it wasn’t an order but it wasn’t a plea, you moaned and he moved back to help you stand off the bed.

You stood in front of him and he grabbed the hem of the hoodie; he lifted it up, and you raised your arms for him to remove it from your body; he dropped it on the floor next to him and did the same with the tank top you were wearing underneath. His eyes stayed glued to your breasts, and he raised his hands to cup both of them. He walked to you and kissed you again, kneading the flesh softly as he breathed in the sighs you were letting out.

“Your tits are mine” he whispered on your lips.

“Yours” your hands moved to his chest, and you started to unbutton his shirt nimbly.

He let you slide his shirt off and drop it on the floor. You moved to his belt and unbuckled it.

Dave snaked his hands from your chest to your waist and then around your body to caress both buttcheeks over the fabric of the leggings.

“Your ass is mine” he whispered, you nodded as you unzipped his pants and slid your hands from his waist through his briefs to his own ass and knead him for a second. Dave looked at your face and you smiled at him softly, he saw your puffy red eyes from crying and leaned down to kiss you again.

For a moment you let yourself forget all the powerfully negative things you had felt about the whole situation. His lips being soft and warm enough for you to blank your mind.

You wanted to ask him why was he being so soft with you, but you didn’t want him to stop.

He moved his hands from your ass back to the waistband of your leggings and pulled down along with your underwear, breaking the kiss only to help you get out of them and out of your shoes.

“Lay down” he murmured, again not ordering yet not pleading. And you did as you were told.

Dave removed the rest of his clothes and grabbed your knees, spreading you open in front of him, he saw you wet and his hand trailed all the way up your thigh; he slid two fingers across your slit; you gasped at the contact and your hips circled, trying to get closer to his hand.

He leaned down and supported himself on one hand, his knees between your legs, while bringing the hand in between your legs to your mouth and spread your arousal on your lips.

You were about to lick them to taste yourself when his lips clashed into yours, hungrier than before, both of you tasting your juices in the kiss.

Your hand reached down between your bodies to grab his hardened cock and pump him a few times, his kiss became sloppy and wet as you played with the pre semen on the tip, he let out a grumble when you choked the head with your thumb and your index around it and he bit your lower lip when you squeezed it.

He took your wrist as he broke the contact of your lips and removed your hand from his cock; you knew what was coming and you spread your legs wider to give him space.

Dave lined himself up to your slit and played the tip up and down from your entrance to your clit and pressed it on the bundle of nerves, ripping a loud moan out of you.

“Dave, please,” you whispered, he was looking at you, his brown eyes were less hard and less dark and you moved your hips to try to get him closer to you.

“What, baby,” he asked, low voiced.

“Fuck me,” you said, he gave you half a smile as he slid himself into your core, his hand gripping your hip. You let out a sigh in relief as he painfully slowly bottomed up.

He stayed inside for a few seconds for your walls to stretch and get used to his thickness.

“Your cunt is mine” he whispered, looking into your eyes, you nodded and he kissed your temple “you’re still so tight, baby,” he pulled out almost entirely and thrusted into you slowly “so tight and wet as the first time I fucked you”

You curled your arms around his shoulders when he hid his face in the crook of your neck and let out a moan when he circled his hips inside you and hit ever so slowly that sweet spot that only his cock could find.

“Dave, shit,” you gasped when he thrusted into you harder “no–nobody could,” he pounded into you again “e–ever fuck me like you do,”

You felt his smirk on your skin and he licked and kissed the skin that was within reach of his mouth, moving his hips faster until he found a pace that made you squirm and whine under him.

“You’re all mine, baby,” he breathed on your ear “say you’re mine,”

“I’m yours, Dave,” his hand snaked from your hip to the spot you were joined and he gathered some of your arousal with his fingers, he started circling his wet fingers on your clit and you whimpered “oh my–god, Da–Dave,”

“Fucking say you’re mine,” he moaned again in your ear as his hips moved faster “you’re mine to take, mine to use mine and only mine,” his thrust became deeper, “your body and your mind are mine, say it,” his fingers played your clit nimbly.

“Shit,” you hissed out, closing your eyes and clenching around him, he moaned your name “I’m yours, Dave, I’m all yours,” you cried out as you felt your core on fire and the known tide of sensations drowned you from the inside of your lower belly “I’m so close,” you panted.

“Cum around my cock, baby,” he moved faster and his fingers slid into your pussy almost by themselves and you felt so full by his cock and his hand you felt your orgasm hit you like a giant wave in the middle of a storm.

You cried out his name once, twice, three times as he fucked you through your high chasing his own orgasm.

He moaned your name again, and he lifted his head from your neck to kiss you. His fingers were still inside you along with his cock and he was so close he could see white spots behind his closed eyes.

“Dave please come inside me,” you whispered against his lips, he kissed you again and you bit his lower lip, he opened his eyes to see your post orgasmic smile and your glassy eyes “claim me, fill me up, baby,” you pleaded “please, I want to feel your cum,” he moaned again and pounded deep once, twice and you felt his hot seed spilling inside your core.

“Fuck,” his breath hitched “holy shit, baby,” he pulled out his hand out of your pussy as his cock finished spurting and he licked his fingers clean. You smiled at him and he stuffed them into your mouth. You giggled, licking his saliva and the rest of your juices off.

He watched you recover your breath, and you traced his clean shaven jawline with your fingers. He moved his head to kiss your palm without losing eye contact.

“You’re not getting rid of me,” he muttered against your hand.

“Okay,” you whispered.

“I’m gonna make some changes,” he breathed. You nodded, “but you're not leaving,”

“I'm not leaving,”

“Good,”

#Dave York #dave york x reader #dave york x you #dave york might be the love of my life #again dave york can fucking wreck me and id say thanks #dave york fanfic #dave york fanfiction #dave york the equalizer #the equalizer #the equalizer fanfic #david york #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal characters

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aces-to-apples · 4 years ago

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Your Reputation Precedes You

A response to “On Fandom Racism (and That Conlang People Are Talking About)” because lmao that cowardly bitch just hates getting feedback from people that she can’t then harass into oblivion

i.e. God I Wish I Could Use The Tag Fandom Wank Without The Titty Police Nerfing My Post

To be frank, I'm not here because I think you or any of your little cronies are going to change your minds. If the 'name' wasn't a giveaway, your group of ~likeminded individuals~ have quite the reputation for espousing ableist, antisemitic, and, yes, racist views under wafer-thin the veneer of "calling out racism." I think we both know that what you're actually doing is using the relative anonymity of the internet and progressive language to abuse, harass, and bully fans that you personally disagree with. You and your group are toxic, hateful, and utterly pathetic, using many peoples' genuine desire to avoid accidentally causing harm and twisting it into this horrid parade of submissiveness to You, The One And Only Arbiter Of Truth And Justice In Fandom. Never mind that you have derided autistic people as lacking compassion and empathy, that you've used racist colonizer dogwhistles to describe a fictional culture based heavily on real live Maori culture, that you've mocked the idea of characters having PTSD, or that vital mental health services are anything more than "talking about your feelings with friends uwu." Let's just ignore that you have ridiculed the idea of adults in positions of power exerting that power over children in harmful and abusive ways, that creating transformative fan-content that doesn't adhere to the spirit of canon or wishes of the original author garners derision and hatefulness from you, and that you've used classic abuser tactics in order to gaslight people in your orbit into behaving more submissively towards you in order to avoid more verbal abuse.

Let's toss all of that crucial context aside in favor of only what you've written here.

What you've written here is nearly 3,000 entire words based on, at best—though, admittedly, based on your previous behavior, I am actually not willing to extend to you an iota of good faith—fallacious reasoning. You posit that a constructed language, to be used by a fictional religious group located in an entirely different galaxy than our own, is othering, racist in general, and anti-Asian specifically. This appears based in several suppositions, the first being that a language unknown by the reader will, by nature, cause the reader to feel alienated from the characters and therefore less sympathetic, empathetic, and caring towards the characters. That idea is patently ridiculous and, I believe, says far more about your ability to connect to a character speaking an unfamiliar language than any kind of overarching truth about media and the human condition. New things are interesting; new things are fun; the human brain is wired from birth to be fascinated with new things, to want to take them apart, find out how they work, and enjoy both the process and the results.

The second supposition this fallacy is based upon appears to be that to move away from the blatant Orientalism of Star Wars is inherently anti-Asian. While I find it... frankly, a little bit sad that you cling so viciously to the Orientalist, appropriative roots of Star Wars as some form of genuine representation, that's really none of my business. If you feel that a Muslim-coded character bombing a temple and becoming a terrorist and a Sith, a white woman wearing Mongolian wedding garb, a species of decadent slug-like gangsters smoking out of hookahs and keeping attractive young women chained at their feet (as it were), a species of greedy money-grubbers with exaggerated features and offensively stereotypical "Asian" accents, and an indigenous people wearing modesty garb based on the Bedu people and treated by most characters as well as the narrative as mindless animals deserving of murder and genocide are appropriate representation of the many, varied, and beautiful cultures around the world upon which they were "based," then that is very much your business. Until you pull shit like this. Until you accuse other fans, who wish to move away from such offensive coding and stereotypes, of erasing Asian culture from Star Wars. Then it becomes everyone's business, especially when you are targeting a loving and enthusiastic group of fans who are pouring their hearts and souls into creating an inventive and non-appropriative alternative to canon.

Which leads into the third supposition, that a patently racist, misogynistic white man in the 1970s, and then again in the 1990s, intended his universe to be an accurate and respectful portrayal of the various cultures he stole from. I understand that for your group of toxic bullies, the term "Death of the Author" holds no real meaning, but the simple fact of the matter is that George Lucas based his white-centered space adventure on Samurai movies while removing the cultural context that gave them any meaning, because he liked the idea of swords and noble warriors in space. He based the Force and the Jedi Order on belief systems such as Taoism and Buddhism, but only on the surface, without putting any real effort into into portraying them earnestly or accurately. He consistently disrespected both characters of color and characters coded to be a certain race, ethnicity, culture, or religion, and likewise disrespected and stole from the cultures upon which he based them. He was, and continues to be, a racist white man who wrote a racist story. His universe has Orientalism baked into its every facet, and the idea that fans who wish to move away from this and interrogate and transform the text into something better than what it is are racist is not only laughable, but incredibly disingenuous and insidious.

As I said, I am not writing this to change your mind, because I truly believe that you already know that "cOnLaNgS aRe RaCiSt" is a ridiculous statement. The way you've comported yourself in fandom spaces thus far has shown to me that you are nothing more than a bully who knows that the anti-racist movement in fandom can be co-opted for your benefit. If you tout your Asian heritage and use the right language, make the "right" accusations and take advantage of white guilt and white ignorance, you can have dozens of people falling at your feet, begging for forgiveness, for absolution. And I think that gives you a thrill. So, no, none of this will change your mind because none of this is genuinely about racism—it's about power, it's about control, it's about fandom being the only space where you have some.

So I'm writing this for the creators of this wonderful conlang, which has been crafted by multiple people including people of color, who don't deserve this nonsensical vitriol, and for the fans reading this manipulative hate-fest, wondering if they really are Evil Racists because they don't participate in fandom the way you think they should.

Here it is: fandom has a lot of racism, antisemitism, misogyny, queerphobia, ableism, etc. baked into it. Unfortunately, such is the nature of living and growing up in societies and cultures that have the same. The important thing is to independently educate yourself on those issues and think critically about them—not "think critically" as in "to criticize" them, but to analyze, evaluate, pick apart, examine, and reconstruct them again in order to come to a well thought-out conclusion. Read this well-articulated attack on a group of fans who have always welcomed feedback and participation, are open about their backgrounds, their strengths and weaknesses, and wonder who is actually being genuine.

Is it the open and enthusiastic group who ask for the participation of others in this labor of love? Or is it the ringleader of a group of well-known bullies who have manipulated, gaslit, and then subsequently love-bomb people who did not simply roll over at the slightest hint of dominance? The ones who spent hours upon hours tearing apart, mocking, deriding, and falsely accusing authors of fanworks and metatextual works of various bigotries and -isms, knowing that those evaluations were spurious and meant only to cause harm, not genuine examinations of the works themselves or even presumed authorial intent. The ones who made their own, quote-unquote, community so negative and toxic that even after the departure of a large portion of them, including this author in particular, that community still has a reputation for being hateful, toxic, and full of mean-spirited harassers who will never look critically about their own behavior but only ever point fingers at others. The ones who are so very determined to cause misery wherever they go that as soon as their usual victims are no longer immediately available, they will turn on each other at the slightest hint of weakness.

This entire piece of (fan)work is misinformed at the most generous, disingenuous at the most objective, and downright spiteful when we get right into it. The creators of Dai Bendu, along with various other works, series, and fan events that these people personally dislike, have been targeted because it is so much easier to harass, bully, and use progressive language as a weapon against them, than it is to put any effort into making fandom spaces more informed, more positive, more respectful.

As someone rather eloquently put it, community is not a fucking spectator sport. You want a better community, you gotta work at it. And conversely, what you put into your community is what you'll get out of it. This author and their friends have put a lot of hate into their communities, and now they're toxic cesspools that people stay well away from, for fear of contracting some terrible form of harassment poisoning.

Congrats, Ri, you've gotten just what you wanted: adoring crowds listening to you spout your absolutely heinous personal views purely to live out some kind of power fantasy, and the rest of us staying well away, because fuck knows nothing kind, helpful, or in good faith has ever come from Virdant or her echo-chamber of petty, spiteful assholes.

No love, bad night.

P.S. Everyone actually in the Dai Bendu server knows your ass got kicked because you didn’t say shit for a full thirty days and ignored the announcement that inactive members would be culled. You ain’t cute pretending like it’s because you were ~*~Silenced~*~ after ~*~Valiantly~*~ attempting to call out racism. We see you.

#fandom bullshit #fandom racism #fandom harassment #fandom ableism #fandom antisemitism #fandom misogyny #by apples

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thedevilprobs · 4 years ago

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Welcome to me going of on Juno manga spoilers for the whole thing!!!!

After chapter 5 of S2 released with the hella cute dancing scene between Juno and Louis I went to rewatch another one of their scenes together from S1. The scene where Juno pins Louis to the ground (they where about to dance there too btw thought that was a fun thing to point out)

In that S1 scene Juno tells Louis that she intends to be the next beastar and that sentiment of Juno being fit for the title is brought back at the beginning of S2

But in the manga after the wolf room scene it doesn't really come back and after the murder solution arc Yahya is introduced and a different plot starts to build that hints at Legoshi and Louis becoming Beastars together, wich like cool I mean that's the title of the story but why then have Juno as a contestant for two arcs and then drop it? (I mean I know the answer to the question, Paru just really didn't think ahead on anything when writing and sadly the opportunity for Juno to be more that a love interest took the punch)

I hardly think it possible to introduce a beastar Juno arc and keep the lougoshi beastars at the same time, although admittedly the two beastars plot line ended up nowhere so theres an opportunity for the anime to have Juno become the beastar and Legosi and Louis fighting out of personal reasons alone and rejecting the title

There's a bunch of places that could go should the anime deside to take a Juno beastar route in the imaginary S3.

Juno is a very underrated character not only in the story itself but also in the fandom

I'm willing to bet most people forgot all about her wanting the beastar title and her "declaration of war" towards Louis over it. I wrote this little rant mostly just to remind people of this and get that ball rolling lol

Juno is one of my favorite characters and I sincerely hope the anime does her better and hell maybe, if they're willing to stray further off the manga, have her beastar plot line come up if there's ever an S3

Having Juno be a more prevalent part of the story would not only help her character but also Louis's in return, most people me included felt quite disappointed with his arc culminating the way it did (which was mostly coming back to square one but with a wolf fetish and one feet less lmao) and are expectant at the anime changing things up.

I have this personal headcanon of Juno beginning to train under Yahya and becoming the beastar and having a sorta dynamic where Luois goes about with the shishigumi saving people in a kinda vigilante questionable morals sorta way and Juno being the face of the law and threatening to put them in jail but never doing so bcs love and solidarity lol

So ummm yeah this was my little rant on Juno and my opinions about her character and what I hope it becomes in the future and some headcanons and just Juno Juno Juno

I love Juno, I love Louis x Juno

I love the idea of Juno being the beastar

I cant wait to see where S2 and hopefully S3 take all these character arcs

I wanna read your opinions on the matter

thanks to putting up with this wall of text

#beastars #beastars manga #beastars yahya #beastars juno #beastars anime #beastars spoilers #beastars louis #louis x juno #beastars season 2 #beastars s2

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wildandsexyjacks · 5 years ago

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Your Smile and You - Pt.6

Pairing: Han Seungwoo + Reader

Genre: Fluff + Friends to Lovers AU

Word count: 1,6k

Warnings: mild swearing

It’s his birthday, and Seungwoo is still mad.

He hasn’t called or texted in forever, and it feels like there’s no way of fixing this anymore. You missed your chance probably sometime around three days ago when you and Seungsik had lunch together - a whole week after that night at Seungwoo’s place. You had planned on telling him about your relationship that day but ended up chickening out at the last moment, his Instagram post was more than enough proof that you had the opportunity to do it. Seungwoo liked the picture, and that was the last you’d seen from him.

That’s the reason you’re currently looking through the glass door of the bar he’s having his birthday party at, pondering whether to go in or just come back home. He didn’t invite you - you only found out he was there because Seungyoun tagged him in a facebook picture twenty minutes ago - and maybe you should take that as a hint that he doesn’t want you there, but it’s his birthday, and he looks so happy, and you miss him so much. As you watch Seungwoo laugh - you can practically hear it, the sound’s engraved in your heart by now - you wonder if it’s possible for anyone to miss anything as much as you miss him, and you’ve only been apart for ten days.

Most of his friends are there, drinking and laughing. Through the glass you see Seungyoun entertaining the group with what seems like a funny story and wonder if he’s told anyone about the night he caught you sneaking out of their apartment.

Seungwoo punches his shoulder lightly, they all laugh. God, just looking at him makes your heart hurt.

Seungsik hasn’t arrived yet - or maybe he’s already left - and you could go and talk to Seungwoo if you wanted to, but how would he feel about it? If he wanted to talk to you, he would’ve responded to your texts or that one time you drunk-dialed. If he wanted to talk to you, he would’ve invited you to his birthday party.

Someone clears their throat behind you, and you nearly jump in surprise.

“Are you going in or...?” the boy asks.

Jet black hair, cute dimples, and dangling silver earrings, you remember him as one of your brother’s high-school friends. Lim Sejun.

Fuck.

He recognizes you too by the way his eyes grow wide when you turn around to face him, but before he has a chance to say anything you step aside from where you previously stood blocking the entrance and shake your head.

“No, no, I was just leaving actually.”

He frowns, looking at the small gift box in your hands.

“Are you sure?” You nod furiously “Do you want me to take this to Seungwoo?”

“NO!” hugging the box, you take one more step away from him and sigh “I’ll do it another time, it’s fine. In fact, I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone you saw me here.”

Sejun considers it for a moment then shrugs.

“Whatever.”

He opens the door and walks straight up to Seungwoo, then whispers something in his ear while pointing in your direction.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You stare in horror as Seungwoo squints at the door. Now that he knows you’re there, you have no choice but to go in or things will only get worse. You put the small box back in your purse, then push the door open and walk slowly in his direction, stopping halfway.

His group of friends finally started to notice something’s going on, and the boys look from you to him with a variety of confused faces. Sejun smiles cheekily and you would go there and murder him on the spot if you weren’t too busy trying to predict Seungwoo’s next move.

His expression is unreadable but there’s no time to really think about it because he’s a long-legged son of a bitch and in three wide steps he’s standing right in front of you. He grabs your wrist, drags you out of the bar and away from everyone’s eyes, then lets go when you’re standing on the sidewalk.

Tears welling up, you prepare yourself to apologize for ruining his birthday when he takes your face between his huge hands and leans in to kiss you.

It’s like finally coming home after a long, horrible day. The winter air is cold on your cheeks and Seungwoo is not wearing a jacket over his thin baby blue sweater, but neither of you cares while he moves his hands from your face to your lower back and you wrap your arms around his neck, butterflies set free in your stomach and a sense of belonging you have never felt before, your heart beating so fast and loud you’re sure he can hear it.

“I’ve missed you so much.” Seungwoo confesses against your lips “These past ten days were the worst. You have no idea.”

“Oh, trust me, I do.” You stand on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his nose “You know, I more than like you too, I’m sorry I didn’t say it back the other day.”

He lets out an embarrassed laugh and leans in again, this time to rest his forehead on your shoulder, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

“I thought we had silently agreed to not talk about this.”

“Never!” You giggle, caressing his back. “How could I? It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Even though there’s no sound, you feel his body shake with laughter.

“I don’t think you’ve had many good boyfriends in the past, then.” Seungwoo mumbles, his voice muffled by the fabric of your winter coat.

“You’re my first boyfriend ever.” you explain, cradling his head while he nuzzles your neck “That’s why I’m so bad at it.”

“No! You’re not bad, it’s just...” he sighs, stepping back to look in your eyes “I don’t know. It’s a difficult situation. I reacted poorly and I’m sorry for that, I promise I won’t push you anymore. We can do it when you’re ready.”

You bite your lip and reach for the box inside your purse. Seungwoo’s eyes widen as you extend your hand, the small box resting on your palm.

“Happy birthday.”

He takes a closer look. It’s a tiny, velvety, black box, made for jewelry. Biting back a smile, Seungwoo lifts one eyebrow.

“I don’t know, shouldn’t you get on one knee for this?”

You groan and he laughs. Rolling your eyes, you push the box against his chest.

“Just take it, will you?”

He opens the box, and his breath gets caught in his throat. Inside lies a small fox keychain, with a set of keys attached to it.

“That’s... Is this...?”

“Keys to my place, yes. You’re welcome at all times.” he stares at you, dumbfounded, as you take a step forward to wrap your arms around his neck again “Let’s tell Seungsik. Let’s tell everyone.”

Seungwoo smiles real big, then chews on his lower lip, uncertain.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured to-“

“One hundred percent sure.” you cut in “If you’re free tomorrow, we can crash my family’s Christmas party and kill several birds with just one stone.”

Seungwoo laughs.

“Okay, alright, for someone who’s been stalling for over six months, you’re in quite a hurry right now, huh?” with an amused smile, he presses a kiss to your forehead “No need to rush, let’s discuss this again in the morning. For now, how about we go inside and I introduce you to my friends?” nodding towards the door, Seungwoo offers his hand “They’re dying to meet my secret girlfriend.”

You take his hand, laughing a little. After three steps, however, Seungwoo stops, looking at you with curiosity sparkling in his eyes.

“How did you know I was here, by the way? I didn’t even know I was coming until like half an hour ago.”

Oh.

“Facebook. Knowing it’s a surprise party makes me feel a lot less shitty, though.” you confess “I was spying on you through the glass like a creeper because I wasn’t sure you wanted to see me.”

He cackles - that endearing, loud sound you adore.

“Sejun used the words lovingly staring instead of spying, but call it what you want.” bringing your intertwined fingers to his lips, he kisses your knuckles. “I wasn’t really in the mood to celebrate, Seungyoun put this together and then forced me to leave the house. I was about to call you when Sejun arrived, anyway, but you’re still allowed to ignore that you literally ran away from Seungyoun when you bumped into him that other night - yes, he told me - and give him hell for not inviting you if you want.”

You pout.

“No, I want to be the cool girlfriend so your friends won’t have reasons to not like me.” Before he opens the door, you squeeze his hand to get his attention. “Wish me luck.”

Seungwoo shakes his head, amused.

“You don’t need luck, I’m sure they’ll love you.”

When you finally go inside, his friends cheer loudly and line up to introduce themselves. Seungwoo calls out his roommate for not inviting you to the party, to which after a second of hesitation he shamelessly bullshits his way out declaring he posted that picture on facebook for a reason. Sejun, on the other hand, exclaims that no, there’s no need to thank him or even pay him several drinks, he just did what anyone would do after seeing their friend depressed for days on no end - then a very embarrassed Seungwoo smacks him upside the head.

Your boyfriend - boyfriend!! - wants to leave early so he can test the keys you just gave him, but his friends are willing to tell you the funniest and most embarrassing Seungwoo-related stories and you’re dying to listen to every single one of them, so you convince him to stay for a little longer.

He was right about you meeting his friends, after all. You’ll get along just fine.

and that marks the end of my first attempt at a chaptered fic, and honestly i’ll prob never do it again lmao if you’d like to see seungsik’s reaction to the news let me know and i’ll write a short bonus

i hope ya’ll are happy and healthy. please be safe and stay home if you can.

#han seungwoo #seungwoo scenario #seungwoo au #seungwoo fanfic #x1 scenarios #victon scenarios #x1 fanfic #victon fanfic

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astralastrid · 5 years ago

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USUK/UKUS survey by @americapersonified

Tagged by @hariible so here we go!

In what decade did they officially become involved?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

The fics have ruined me. So I'd probably say during or after WWII. Plus that's when the "Special Relationship" was coined.

Who tops? (USUK or UKUS?)

*Looks at the UKUS server I made* idk you tell me

Honestly though Arthur probably has more relationship experience, so he's more confident and willing to take the lead. Alfred is actually secretly shy and modest about this stuff! (I mean, I do think we Americans are more conservative and modest when it comes to romance?) Plus like, Alfred finally feels like he can trust someone and let them take care of him, that he's loved when the whole world mocks him... Whoops got a little angsty there

Was either of them a virgin before their first hookup?

It's time for me to unveil my demi!America headcanon that's just me projecting aw yeah

Alfred is. He actually thought he was ace before he met Arthur because he was never interested in that kind of stuff, preferring to cuddle instead. But once he met Arthur he trusted that he'd take care of him and stuff and wanted to try it.

If not, to whom did each lose his virginity?

Alfred to Arthur.

Arthur to? Idk Francis probably? I do see FrUk as like, a past thing. Along with SpUk and PortEng. So one of them probably.

(Read more bc LONG post)

Are they more patient with each other in private, or do they bicker/tease each other all the time?

Haha projection time 2.0

Bro, like, a good relationship should have teasing anyway (unless your partner isn't ok with it!) so definitely. But Alfred actually gets self-conscious about the things that Arthur teases him about so he has to stop and tell him how much he loves him and stuff. But in general they're more patient because they've come to understand each other and love the other's quirks.

Will they ever get married?

Yeah but after a while. Alfred wants to do it right away but Arthur rejects him, saying that the don't need rings to prove that they love each other. He promises he will eventually. I like to think after gay marriage legalized in the States they celebrated by getting married.

If so, where will the wedding be held? (Add other details if you wish.)

Hopeless romantic Ame time!

Can you have more than one ceremony? No? Oh well. Summer wedding in America, Fall Wedding in England. I don't know much about wedding planning but I read a headcanon that was like "their vows were so beautiful it made everyone cry" and I support that. Both of them cry during the other's too. Lots of tears shed on both sides during everything. Lots of white and silver and gold because yeah. None of this stupid "one of them wears a dress" business. Like, it's ok for a relationship to be masc/masc and fem/fem like don't heteronormalize it. So two tuxes. Probably no "walking down the aisle?" Maybe they both come in from the sides idk. A cheer when they kiss. "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis is their first dance. Arthur probably sings "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" after their first dance. Wedding cupcakes is galaxy brain so wedding cupcakes. Multiple flavors.

At whose house do they most often stay together?

Alfred's. It's larger anyway.

Do they refer to each other by their nation names or human names?

Human names. Nation only for business.

What pet names do they have for each other?

Arthur: Love, (The most common one) Darling, Dearest, Dear, Poppet (2nd most common) Alfie (extremely rare, or when drunk. Alfred adores when he calls him this though.)

Alfred: Babe, Baby, Artie, Art, Honey, Sweetie, Sweetiepie, Sweetheart, Sweetcheeks.

Who drives?

Both, Alfred loves to drive! But Arthur gets nervous because Alfred can drive like a New Yorker, (that is, aggressively, quickly, a bit dangerously, lots of honking from him and others) especially when he's in a rush or late, and god help everyone when he has road rage.

So Arthur judges the mood and insits if he knows Alfred is probably gonna drive like that.

Is Alfred good at making Arthur’s tea?

Dude of course. It's never quite perfect of course, but you don't date someone for decades without learning how to make their lifeline. In this vein Arthur also knows how to make Alfred's coffee. (And since this isn't a question, Alfred likes it blacker than black in the mornings, and all sugared and creamered up after work and in the evenings.)

It’s universally accepted that Arthur sucks at cooking. Does Alfred enjoy cooking? Is he good at it? Or does he usually stick to McDonald’s and fast food?

Ok yeah but I headcanon Arthur can bake, like really well. Ok yeah I know about his scones but maybe he's just bad at making those specifically.

Alfred loves to cook. He loves to grill even more. But he likes to experiment and try new stuff and he's damn good at it (because cooking is just another science!) So his meals are like comfort food. Almost restaurant quality. Boy could be a chef. But he also loves his fast food and instants. (Kraft's Mac and Cheese is so good.) And yeah he loves Mickey D's but have y'all ever been to like, Noodles and Company or Sonic? Like, there are some GOOD fast food joints and I'm sure he loves them all. Arthur probably doesn't like burger joints but does like places like Panera.

Do they shower together? (Often; not specifically for sex.)

Sometimes? Idk man it's hard as shit to wash your back so yeah? Also the tenderness of giving your lover a bath? I'm🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Who smells better? (In your opinion.)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

People just smell like, people, and to the other they each smell like home.

How vocal are they in bed?

Alfred’s so LOUD lmao. But Arthur loves it. If he was more of a memelord he'd record and make a remix of his sounds.

Who has the more active libido?

Definitely Arthur.

Is spending time together easy, or are they forced apart for long periods at a time?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't know how politics work? Do important government officials have to be there in person for meetings?

Let's have two senarios here:

Let's say they do, and they have to be apart for periods of time. Both the boys have separation anxiety and HATE being apart, so there's always the fear and the paronia and concern when they are apart, and they have almost daily video chats. It's really hard on both of them. They text and call often too. They miss the other dearly. When they reunite they kiss and cuddle like they need it to survive. They're much more affectionate with each other and spend every moment they can together to "recharge" before the "hyper-affectioness" goes down. Leaving is super difficult. Lots of tears and hugs, promises to be back asap, longful stares and apologies. Cursing their job and such. Desire to quit or face the consequences and just stay. (Which is completely blocked by the other.)

Let's say somehow they work something out and they can spend long amounts of time together with minimal travel. Sometimes they get into fights or just get on each other's nerves or just need some alone time. Alfred will go run or excercise while Arthur goes to a café until they're ready to make up/miss and want to see the other. Business trips help keep tensions low, but they're still painful.

Are they wealthy? Or do they live modestly?

I’d say like average people. Arthur probably likes it a bit more tasteful and stylish though, so little hints of wealth. Also, Arthur basically has a library for his book collection that acts as his study and Alfred has his own study and a gaming room. They have the prettiest garden you ever did see though. And a really nice patio. With a nice backyard and grill.

For Alfred specifically: Glasses on or glasses off?

On! Except in the bedroom.

How often do they break up?

Rarely if at all. They probably did once and missed the other so badly that they promised never to do it again, and always talk it out. Sure they get into fights and one of them will storm off, but they both understand that that usually means the other needs to cool down before they can talk.

Open relationship?

No.

Did Arthur actually care for Alfred before the American Revolution?

I really want to say yes, because of how it was portrayed, but honestly? I don't think the U.S. was any different from England's other colonies. He'd occasionally check up on all of them, but he was super surprised at how fast America grew.

Of course once the war happens he's riddled with regret. Maybe if he treated him better this wouldn't have happened. War with a colony for their independence is ugly anyway. Even after the war, I don't think England was as heartbroken as it was portrayed. I think he was depressed about it for a while, but eventually got over it. It still took him, like any colonizer, a while to see him as an equal though, which infuriated America. However they are both completely over it and don't talk much about it anymore. It's all in the past for them.

@milopottz (I know we don't interact but 👀)

Tag people if you want, so

Also @alifeasvivid and @anyone who wants to

#whew! long post over #long post #tagged #usuk #ukus #this was fun though

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lizzybeth1986 · 5 years ago

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Quick Thoughts on Is This The Real Life or Is This Just A Very Bizarre Fantasy?

• Here are the tags to block if you don't want to see this post on your dash: #long post, #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs.

• It's...Chapter 10. Often known as the midpoint. I know TRR isn't exactly the most nuanced series out there, but you know what used to happen by midpoints here? Important plot stuff that had buildup and development prior to it happening.

• Funny enough all three chapter 10s so far had something to do with Constantine! Book 1's had him announce he was stepping down and making Liam king, Book 2 had the reveal that the conspiracy against the MC was his idea. And then he actually dies in Book 3 Chapter 10. Now that he's no more, I guess they brought back another asshole dad to take his place.

• PB if you were really in a mood to bring back Bertrand's dad the least you could have done was build it up properly. You had an entire freaking chapter to at least build up on the Beaumont family relationships and issues! Yet all we see is that motorcycle with a hint that never fully gets told and very little besides that.

• Like, the narrative usually takes soooo much time to build everything properly, right? With chapters and chapters of hints? Look at all these things that you built up over chapters and sometimes over books: Liam's issues with his dad...The whereabouts of Savannah...Drake's connection to Bastien...Drake's mom's ranch...Drake's special relationship with his dad...Drake's duel...Drake's secret wedding...oh.

• Screenshots:

Hana: The Abhirio YouTube channel

Drake: @thefirstcourtesan and the BizzysChoices YouTube channel

Maxwell: @itsbrindleybinch

Title: The Beaumont Bachelor Bash

Alternative Title: Proof That Drake Is Undoubtedly Leona's Nephew. Even When He's Trying To Be Nice.

• Now Playing As Bertrand.

Wh - what...?

Okay but this is probably a tiny section and then my MC will come and save the day, right? Right?? I mean it's happened before (one of the most recent times we got a Bertrand PoV was in a Chapter 10, in fact!)

• ...how the hell did a motorcycle fit inside THAT BOX?

• I know, I know. It's mentioned time and again that the package is huuuuge. But that's...not the kind of packaging I'd be expecting for something that large. It wouldn't be SQUARE, at least.

• Okay wait. What was Maxwell panicking and stress-dancing about again? Bertrand isn't cottoning on to this plan as quickly as Maxwell/the LI was implying in that text.

• Okay wait so their great plan for the BBBB was...Bertrand putting away his cutlery and..."roughin' it"? Aren't bachelor/ette parties supposed to be catered to the guest of honour's needs?

Or is "something you want" only meant for Savannah? Because Hana actually read up and did research and tried to cater the entire party to whatever Savannah liked - not drag her along for something that wasn't her thing with "expand your horizons!" as an excuse.

• Like me, Bertrand doesn't fully trust his brother-in-law's motives.

• Wait what.

.• Bertrand is getting a new outfit. Oh he's wearing it already. Okay good. Must be free!

•

WHAT. WHAT. ARE YOU TELLING ME I'M NOT SEEING ESTHER FOR THE REST OF THIS CHAPTER

• I am NOT buying Bertrand new clothes. I didn't buy any last book, and I'm not going to start buying them now. Even if I didn't buy him the swanky maroon sweater last book he somehow wound up wearing it anyway in the finale. I'm sure he'll survive and they'll probably let him wear it for free some other time lol.

• Drake leads the boys to a nearby river, hoping to catch some fish that they can cook for dinner later.

• Bertrand gets...a dilapidated fishing pole. While everyone has prepared enough to get their own, perfectly alright ones. Drake is truly from Leona's bloodline, giving Bertrand stuff that'll make his task difficult (remember how she gave Bertrand a really rough horse to the country fair?). "I just wanted you to believe in yourself", my ass. You're doing this for your own entertainment.

• Also wasn't Maxwell organizing this party? Why does the end result look so much like Drake's idea? Or maybe the boys are splitting the activities between each other or something idk.

•

• That's a...puffer fish?

• The funniest option is the choose to grab Drake because Bertrand calls him "the Aggressively Rustic Drake" haha. It means of course that Bertrand will not get a fish but that's okay, Drake and Liam catch more than enough for dinner.

• But if Bertrand DOES catch that big fish his chest is all puffed out in pride and he notices no one else caught a fish as big as his 😄

• You can TELL Liam chose the next activity, because it's so aggressively Cordonian 😂 You need to shoot an apple with a weapon (preferably a bow and arrow, but the game offers you a rifle and an ornate gun as well).

• Of course I went ahead and shot Drake with a rubber bullet. Sorry Bertrand but I'm sure you can get your Knight-Marksmanship and Honorary Defender of the Realm award in a kinder person's playthrough 😅

• It's a nice scene, quite reminiscent of the first half of Maxwell's armoury scene last book, which involves Maxwell and the MC playing the same game.

• Now that we're done with the apples, it's time to bring out the bubbly!

• "This is not my bachelor party," says Drake when a surprised Liam asks him about why there's no whiskey. Coulda fooled me dude I've never heard of people giving the groom a dilapidated fishing pole to fish with for that kind of thing. I mean like more than 90% of this entire plan seems to cater to your tastes more than his.

• Bertrand (about the bubbly): This is from an excellent region of France!

Maxwell: Which one?

Bertrand: ...Champagne.

😂

• It's now night, so time for some...idk heartfelt man-talk or something.

•

It starts out with the main LI speaking about Bertrand and Savannah's relationship, praising them for how far they've come and there is some emphasis on the fact that they have Bartie. This leads the LI in question (if they're there) to talk candidly about their relationship with the MC and their sadness that they aren't pregnant yet.

- Liam: Speaks of how amazing the MC is and wonders if he's putting her through too much pressure on his Queen with the expectations of an heir.

- Drake: Very similar to Liam's, but this time Liam apologizes for forcing them into this kind of pressure and promises to withdraw it if that's what they want. (Liam will allow it, the narrative won't!)

- Hana: Since neither of the women are there, the conversation goes straight into Liam wondering if he did the wrong thing by placing that much pressure on them, and Bertrand reassuring him that both are phenomenal women and any child they bring up will be a worthy successor to the throne.

- Maxwell: From what @itsbrindleybinch was telling me, there's no discussion about Liam's offer or the pressure from him! The conversation is more centered around his fear that he might screw up in parenting...to which his brother has some of the best responses:

Istg when the writers really allow for those two to blossom on their own, the Brothers Beaumont dynamic is fantastic. I loved both responses from Bertrand.

I'm still wondering why there isn't much from Liam about the pressure he's placing on them, though! I mean, Maxwell and his wife are put under the same amounts of pressure so you'd expect Liam to speak up there too, right? (correct me if I'm wrong, because I can't find a full playthrough of Maxwell's route anywhere).

• The discussion slowly progresses into one about Bertrand's love for Savannah and not knowing how to show it properly to her...to which Drake responds that Bertrand needs to SHOW what he feels and maybe do a big dramatic gesture like the ones you see in romcoms (racing through an airport to confess your love, or confessing it while standing in the rain)...lmao I love how big gestures are something Savannah wants for herself but somehow she can't do the smallest things to help Bertrand feel more comfortable in her own damn home.

• Also I need to laugh at how desperately the writers are now trying to show us how "open minded" Drake is LMAO. TRR Drake looked down on his nose on practically all things not macho (including authentic Chinese food and pink cakes) and now they're making it sound like he's a romcom fan and willing to experiment with a tutu.

• Not buying that serenading scene. I didn't handhold Bertrand into telling Savannah about the Beaumont finances, nor did I handhold him into proposing. He did pretty okay without my help so far.

• The serenading scene has two main components (besides the logistics of communicating and then climbing up to her window) - telling Savannah his feelings and then singing to her. The first main options include suggestions from the boys:

Liam: Very sweet and romantic, with the kind of flowery language you would expect from Liam, and that Bertrand feels so comfortable with that he smiles as he says the words.

Drake: Very much, "I was an idiot but now I've come to my senses and I'm the luckiest man ever because of you" which...sure I can put it down to bias for his sister but now it just annoys me when I hear this. Esp during a time when he's claiming he actually likes Bertrand now.

Maxwell: Is just so fucking funny 😂

Bertrand: Savannah, I'm here because you're my...boo???

Maxwell: Trust me! Keep going!

Bertrand: Ahem. You are my boo, and I'm your...okay I'm not going to say that.

Savannah: What are you saying???

• For actually serenading her with a song you can either choose to go sweet and romantic, or you go "sexy", which tbh seems to be the funnier option because most of it is Bertrand muttering MmmMMmMmmm in place of all the sexy parts. Which is funny considering he and Savannah conceived a child atop an office desk of all places way before any of us even got to KISS our LIs 🤣

• Savannah is happy, Bertrand is happy, the boys are all back in the camp where they'll be spending the night. There's a tiny bit of "foreshadowing" in the ensuing conversation since Barthelemy is mentioned, but very much in a "Dad would be proud of you" way. I put that word "foreshadowing" in quotes coz there is very little it gives us, as opposed to how other things that have received foreshadowing were built up.

• Uh oh. BEAR ATTACK. From Kenna's pet-bear-from-Aurelia's descendant. Who somehow ended up in the woods in Texas 😂

• Drake tries to distract the bear, and Bertrand can either join him or go with Liam and Maxwell who are leading the way to an alternative location.

• We're out in the wilderness somewhere, and getting back to our tents is a diamond option. It's a fun diamond option though, and it doesn't involve me doing any unnecessary matchmaking.

• Liam is the strategist who makes a battle plan. Why don't I get to see him do these kind of things in his actual job PB!! Drake "knows the most woodcraft" and will therefore make a good scout, both he and Liam can draw the bear away, and Maxwell's hitherto-unseen present is now their secret weapon. Bertrand isn't sure about this plan but goes along with it anyway.

• Everything goes as per plan, and Maxwell unleashes the "secret weapon": Bertrand's beloved Cavilieri Novanta 9S motorbike. There's a small hint about him having to perhaps give it away or sell it when his father, well, did whatever he did, and Maxwell somehow traced it and got it back. I'm kinda certain that bike may feature in Bertrand's flashback if he's having one next chapter. Bertrand is emotional AND ecstatic, learning again to control his bike and to enjoy being on it.

• The best part of the bear scene, is when he uses his Duke of Ramsford voice and gives the bear the ole what-for 😂

(Bottom four screenshots from BizzysChoices' YouTube channel!)

• Even the bear could not withstand the severe tongue lashing LMAO. Bertrand has the option of ending this...um...verbal duel by telling his furry opponent to tell his children he has been bested by a Beaumont.

• The bear slumps back home in shame, but Bertrand is worried about what other tests Drake has in store. 'Tests?' Drake says innocently.

•

You're forgetting the part where you constantly blamed Bertrand for everything, knowing full well your sister made her fair share of mistakes. Or the part where you pretty much sabotaged an investigation just to stroke your ego about Bertrand getting her pregnant. Or the part where you repeatedly made it clear that you thought he didn't deserve Savannah. Or the part where you made him cluck like a chicken just before he proposed, just so you could have your moment to gloat. Or the part where you would shoot looks at Bertrand if he even so much as hinted your sister wasn't perfect. Or the part where your aunt kept making snide remarks about him, disrespected him, and gave him a rough horse, while you and your mother and your sister stood by and watched. And NOW you claim that the only person doubting Bertrand is BERTRAND?

Yeah. Well...tldr:

• My gosh. The amount of retconning happening here is giving me a headache.

• Like...I like that Drake can be nicer to Bertrand now and that most of the tension is gone. But let's not act like Drake wasn't knowingly adding fuel to the fire before??

• Anyway, the boys tell Bertrand they are proud of him and proceed to sleep in their tents or wherever they've chosen to sleep for the night.

• PB gives Liam the very, very rare chance to remind Drake that he grew up in a palace. Doesn't mean much, but I'm fairly happy.

• FINALLY. Esther's home and I can finally play as her again!

• If you bought the serenading scene, there are a couple extra lines showing Savannah and Bertrand looking super super happy.

• There's an old man at the door.

• BARTHELEMY???

• Neither of his sons even look like him. And it reads as if Bertrand is less surprised about the possibility that Barthelemy is alive than Maxwell is. What's going on.

General Thoughts:

• Alright, so it looks like this week we will be exploring the Beaumont family history, looking into why Bertrand lost his zest for life and ended up taking care of the estate when all this time his father was actually alive, and how the Beaumonts wound up so poor. There had better be a substantial amount of Maxwell because he's not been getting a lot of attention this book.

• I'm wondering if Barthelemy's return will cause Bertrand and Maxwell's insecurities to rise again, and we'll probably need to help them through that or something.

• Looks like the next chapter might have a young!Maxwell scene or Maxwell's first diamond scene, or both? Idk. I can't say for sure because I don't exactly trust the team on these things.

• There were...elements of the chapter that were good, I'll give it that. Bertrand's got an interesting narrative voice. You can tell it's him by the way he uses titles, by the way he speaks when he is proud of something he has achieved, the language itself that is heavy in its bearing. The scenes were fun from what I've seen. The bonding was good. Problem was...in a better book this wouldn't have been so irritating and such a sign of how not into the most important things about this book the team is.

• Since they had the time and the ideas, why the hell was the buildup to this reveal so flimsy and half-baked? I mean if you're going to give Bertrand an entire freaking chapter, shouldn't you have been using at least that space to have Bertrand speak a little more about Barthelemy? Or build it up earlier? All this time we'd had to deal with Savannah's griping and complaining and Leona's snide remarks, we could have spent learning from Maxwell a little about his family.

• Usually buildup to a lot of these things happen through hints over chapters. But this? Little to none. Maybe like two half-sentences said just before the reveal. It's all kinds of shitty, and it's what happens when the most important Beaumont is a Walker.

• I'm also pretty surprised Liam doesn't get to apologize to Maxwell the way he does to Drake about the royal heir thing.

• So the Walker Ranch chapters started around Chapter 6, and might possibly end around Chapter 12 (with a detour to Auvernal around Chapter 9). That's 5 whole chapters + one more to tour the States itself.

• I know the original idea was to do an epilogue book revolving around the Walker ranch, so there's obviously a lot more clarity in those chapters than in the others. But that is still no excuse. If they were going to change track they should have been doing it properly. There's no excuse for this kind of selective laziness especially when it's been manifested countless times before.

• I also find the whole idea of revolving the epilogue book still pretty problematic. At the core of it that would be more of Drake and his family (which was already happening honestly) and it would mean they are absolutely front and center of everything. If the original idea was to focus fully on the Walkers...yikes.

• Yeah honestly, this chapter was pretty iffy for me. And I'm not exactly very enthusiastic about writing for it, or playing the next chapter.

• Also! For those who didn't see it, this past week I'd been working on an essay about the treatment for Kiara and Penelope in TRR Book 3, and it's here below in case you haven't read it and you want to!

To Be Not Heard: Kiara, Penelope and the Question of Validation.

• Alright! On to the next chapter.

If you like it and want to discuss it, I'd be only too happy to read your comments! 😀

#long post #the royal heir #trh quick thoughts #trh qts #bertrand beaumont #maxwell beaumont #king liam #drake walker

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asiryn · 5 years ago

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so, i just started playing the ffvii remake! it’s taken me a while to get going on this, despite my HYPE, bc i couldn’t order it physically online, so then i had to download it, which took days, plus general physical disability stuff, but i’ve finally got to sit down with it!

i’ll be talking about some of my thoughts and initial impressions behind a cut, just so i don’t spoil anybody. i’m currently towards the beginning of chapter 3, but i’ll probably mention full original ffvii spoilers, so if the remake is your first time with this story....beware of that :P

i got to say, i’m loving this experience so far. here’s a list of Thoughts:

- one gripe that i have is that i HATE that the attack button is square, when in most ps games it’s the x button (especially since the kh3 dlc was the last console game i played), so like....that muscle memory is biting me in the ass with this game, lmao. i’ll have to be careful to not play any other ps game while i’m playing this, so i can get into the rhythm of this battle system, and not keep tripping myself up (.....and then after i’m done with this game, that new muscle memory’s going to trip me up in the next game i play, probably XDD)

- one thing that i’ve noticed, at least so far, is that there aren’t that many new things, but rather....it’s just expanding on what was already there. like, the fact that what avalanche did in bombing reactors wasn’t necessarily a good thing, and that had drastic consequences for the ppl of midgar, was definitely an element in the original game, and cait sith even called barret out on it towards the end on the highwind, but bc we saw so relatively little of midgar, and bc of the hardware and graphical limitations, you never truly felt much of that impact. most of it you had to pick up from npcs, and you had to deliberately talk to them (bc everything was text boxes, back in yonder year) to get that dialogue. in the remake, tho....it’s all fully realized and reflected in the environment, and even if you don’t seek out the npcs, you’ll still hear snatches of their conversations as you go by them, so you can’t completely tune it out

- building off of that last point, we’re also spending much more time with jessie especially, but also biggs and wedge, and it’s taking the time to allow them to dwell on the consequences of their actions, and you can actually see them struggling with the weight of that. they’re trying to keep faith in their higher cause of saving the planet (which they are more right about it than even they know), and yet they’re having to ask themselves whether the ends truly justify the means

- and the scene on the train with barret and those managers really helps to show why they don’t come across so good to others; even tho i know for a fact that shinra’s evil, even i was like....barret, this is why ppl are so willing to believe the picture shinra’s painting, you’re not exactly covering yourself in glory here

- also, avalanche.....could you guys be any more obvious that you’re behind it all?

- with that initial scene of heidegger and president shinra....it’s interesting that they’re incorporating a bit of the ffvii compilation canon, w/ there being a different avalanche that tried to assassinate him before. makes me wonder how tf nibelheim’s going to go down, bc i swear, it was different in every version

- also, interesting that they had president shinra order to make that reactor explosion worse. there was nothing of the sort implied in the original game, but considering that this is the guy who will order the sector 7 plate to be dropped onto the slums and frame avalanche for it, it’s definitely in-character

- this whole ‘ghosts’ subplot seems to be new, and i can’t think of anything that it’s building off of from the original, unless if we count the fact that there were enemies called ghosts that you could fight in the train graveyard, so.....?? intrigued to see where it’s going

- i also LOVE that they’re showing just how clearly cloud is traumatized, and by nibelheim especially, and that he’s getting realistically triggered by things, like the fires in sector 8

- i still don’t really know what’s going on with the seph hallucinations (are they hallucinations?? it can’t be jenova in the guise of seph yet, can it??), but i’m very curious

- also, they’re adding in the seph clones even earlier, and i’m also loving how this is unfolding so far (i stopped just after that encounter, right when cloud’s getting up the next day after the reactor bombing). i also loved that they used the “trail of blood” music, as it’s a nice hint that it’s connected to sephiroth. and at least in this case, cloud seeing seph in that clone makes a lot of sense

- in general, they seem to be adding in more realism, like tifa finding cloud a place to stay for the night, instead of him just....sleeping in the corner of avalanche hq XD

- i love that we’re getting to see more of barret being a good dad to marlene 💖💖💖

- i also love the little hints they’re dropping about how something’s Not Right with cloud....first him not knowing his own age, and also tifa being confused when he said that it’s been 5 years (when of course, from her perspective, it’s been 7), and then there was the shinra guard who clearly recognized him. even tho square had to know that probably a lot of ppl have already played the original game, they’re still not skimping on laying out those clues

- this game is utterly breathtaking, btw. like, man, being in the slums, and then looking up at the sky and only seeing the plate, is seriously creepy. not to mention the brief glimpse of nibelheim that we got in that little flashback!!! i know this is only supposed to be part 1, and just going through all the events in midgar, but MAN i can’t wait to see the rest of the world realized like this. no wonder this game’s gonna be too big to fit on one disc, it’s so massive, especially to recreate it on this scale

- i love aerith forever, she’s so beautiful i’m cry 💖😭💖😭

- also....curious that a seph hallucination showed up when cloud met aerith, and interacted with her a bit.......hmmm

i think that’s all my thoughts for now. loving the way this is expanding the game so far, and can’t wait to see where it goes (and even tho i do know the major story events....can’t wait to see them done justice)!

#kiryn's adventures in gaming #kiryn plays final fantasy vii remake #kiryn plays ffviir #ffviir #final fantasy vii remake #ffvii #final fantasy vii #compilation of final fantasy vii

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kashimos-hajime · 5 years ago

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⭐️ I need a directors commentary on 1996 immediately

your wish is my command! under the cut!

send me a fic/scene you want a “director’s cut” of

okay, so i saw prisoners, and immediately thought, David Loki is someone I can definitely get behind with writing, but it was a delicate balance between what I wanted and what would be good story-wise. Fun fact, every chapter title is a song lyric that I feel embodies the chapter/fic well.

I toyed with a bunch of ideas - occasional hookups, people who just have sex everywhere, but I realized the latter is definitely not Loki, but the former is interesting. That’s how it spiralled to ‘we have a certain past that i won’t explain’ and it’s painful. Loki definitely is the type to have a twisted relationship with someone because it’s complicated, and it just grew from there. I thought of how to make it make sense why they’re not together, but why they’re still hooking up and living together, and the idea of Robin just came to me.

I wanted to keep it short, while keeping Robin a big reveal at the end and littering hints (the Robin tattoo Loki has on his ribs, the dialogue: “this is not that case” etc.) so if anyone put it together, it’d be a satisfying accomplishment, so that’s how my reader came to be. Someone who understood Loki, who had known him a long time and reminded him of good things whilst being hard to crack open herself was perfect.

The first chapter was actually still with the idea that David fucks out his feelings (which he does sometimes headcanon lmao) but it eventually spiralled into something deeper. You can tell midway that I thought of something deeper in the plot, and it’s obvious by the end that there is a reason our two detectives are so disillusioned and tired. “You can’t listen to promises you aren’t quite sure you can keep anymore.” That line is especially bitter because Loki, right before, says “We’re gonna find your daughter.” Just another little hint.

The second chapter is when I began to brainstorm their past, and I kept it vague on purpose in case I wanted to expand the universe (which I do), but for me, it was the most fun to right. A lot of stuff went down, and it really showcases how difficult it is between Loki and our reader. Loki is fragile around her. He openly cries in her arms, and they care for each other, hold each other’s broken pieces until the other is strong enough to put on a brave face again.

He tries to speak, puffs of air that could’ve been words had he not been so choked, and you merely let him try and break you, let his hands grip bruises into your skin and trace the scars people have left behind. You trace every crack in the porcelain of his back, every fissure that you know reaches from his neck to his legs.

The section above is one of my favourites in the whole fic. There’s so much about this that tells of who they are, what has happened to them, and I just love it so much. And then there’s the whole business of signing her texts with xx, kisses. They used to love each other once, maybe they still do, and when Loki is at his most injured, with his shoulder, and so openly tired and vulnerable, is when the cracks of their disjointed but working relationship, show.

Chapter 3 is all about how they can’t live without each other. Reader can barely stay mad at him and they’re back to working, even if it’s a bit awkward. “Tell me it’ll be okay” is the most important part. Even after everything, Reader will still believe anything Loki says, because he is her rock. He is her anchor, and if he can’t say it’ll be okay, if he can’t say they’ll survive, then it won’t happen. This is also another hint to Robin. “ If we don’t find these girls, tell me we’ll survive it.”

Chapter 4 is the climax? Is that the proper literary term? But I had one problem: How do I have Reader admit that she loves Loki too? After the hospital? But, then why wasn’t she with him when he went to Ms. Jones? Aha! Maybe she was already at Ms. Jones. This chapter gave me time to explore Reader’s isolation, how much she loved him, and the parallels between her and Robin, and her and Anna, are intentional. No doubt Robin has been sick before, and slept with her mom in their bed until she felt better. And I love ending on a good cliffhanger.

Chapter 5: AKA the part where I decided maybe happy endings aren’t so bad! I loved doing the reveal of Robin, because both our protagonists are finally broken down to who they are. They love each other, and they’re broken, but maybe they’re willing to try again. They’re sick of being unhappy, and it’s because they never got past their daughter’s death. Let’s be reminded that David and Reader were only 23/24 when they lost their daughter, so the fact that they’re letting go was just so uplifting. Like everything might be okay. It was a thing that placated my soul. Just them, crying at a tombstone, felt so liberating to write, because they can finally stop lying to themselves.

Hope you enjoyed!! i tried to be brief because i didn’t want to make this too long!

#willowansweringasks #thewintxrcaptain #ask: 1996 #director's cut

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purplesurveys · 5 years ago

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624

Person most likely to...out of your regular cast of characters tell you off: Gabie. She’s brutally honest especially when I’m doing or about to do something stupid, which I appreciate. call you for bail: Probably Andrew lmao. paint your nails for you: Definitely Kate. That girl loves her beauty stuff and always targets me for makeovers when she’s already done working on her own face. go shoe shopping with you: Angela is the type who’d be down for that. I can also see myself shoe shopping with Jo and/or Laurice. ask you to keep a secret: Andrew, because he knows so much stuff about so many things and people.

give you an awesome birthday gift: My dad is an incredible gift-giver and can keep a good surprise. text you 100 times a day: Andrew is a rapid messager, which can exhaust me sometimes. embarrass you: Myself. give you cash: My mom gives me allowance every week, so it’s her by default hahaha. criticize you to your face: Gabie and Angela, it’s a definite tie. Jo can also be pretty frank sometimes. give you a hug: Laurice hugs eeeeeeverybody she sees, she’s the sweetest girl. share their snacks: Andrew and JM literally give away their food/snacks. Tina’s also pretty generous. sing with you: I think everyone I know is willing to sing with me...it’s me who’s unwilling to sing, ever. borrow something from you: My mom or Andrew. Andrew used to borrow my chargers, pens, ask me for a piece of paper, yadda yadda until eventually I kinda showed that I was a bit bothered by it. Thankfully he got the hint and never asks to borrow any of my stuff anymore lol. A little bit of this or that... shoes with heels or flats: All my shoes would be stilettos if I had the budget for them. pizza cut in squares or wedges: Fancy pizza is usually cut into squares so I’ve come to like square-cut pizzas more. tacos..hard or soft shell: I don’t like tacos. gifts wrapped or in a gift bag: Gift bags are convenient, but I like the feeling of tearing wrapping paper; I usually associate that with being a kid and getting big toys for Christmas. finish big assignment ahead of time or at last minute: It feels muuuuuuch better not to cram and not beating deadlines. in a car..driver or passenger: Don’t get me wrong, I love driving but it’s nicer not to feel responsible and just sit back and take naps whenever I want. men shaved or with a beard: I don’t have a preference. staples or paper clips: They’re a lot more sturdy in holding paper together. electric or regular toothbrush: I haven’t used an electric toothbrush in well over a decade. dark or milk chocolate: I don’t like my chocolate too bitter. nuts or no nuts: I hate nuts on ANYTHING hat or ear muffs: I just think they’re cuter. hood or no hood: If we’re talking about jackets. This this or that is a little vague. mittens or gloves: I’ve never had to use them but they are also cuter. A little bit about you...what is your: favorite food that comes in a jar: I don’t eat a lot of stuff that’s placed in jars... maybe cookie butter? I haven’t had it in like four or five years now though. thing you misplace the most often: My school ID :( I find it every time, but I get a small panic attack, without fail, whenever I forget where I last placed it. pet's favorite treat: That little dude is bonkers over chicken. most hated chore: Folding clothes because I can never do it as well as my mom does, and also because it hurrrrrrts my back. favorite Christmas cookie: I don’t have a favorite. brand of laptop: Macbook Air. default ringtone: I have the default text and call Apple ringtones for all of my contacts, except for Gab whose ringtones are customized, but they’re all still ringtones from Apple. Do you? inquiring minds want to know...do you iron clothes: That’s a chore I enjoy doing. It’s pretty soothing for me. shop at thrift stores: I’d browse through them, but I’ve never bought anything from one. take vitamins: I stopped when I was around 14-15. "dance" in the car: Only when I’m alone and stuck in traffic, but yeah I do this. buy magazines: I haven’t bought an issue in years. have plants in your room: I hate plants and couldn’t take care of them to save my life. like to annoy people: Only a huge jerk would genuinely enjoy doing this. use dryer sheets: I have no idea what these are; I don’t think they’re common here. eat meat: Pretty explanatory. talk to your pet: Yep, he’s my baby. change your profile pic more than once a month: I change my Facebook profile pic once every six months at most, and usually only once a month for Twitter. have a secret code with anyone: Not so much a code but Gabie knows me well enough to recognize the hand squeezes or eyebrow wiggling that I do when I’m in a super uncomfortable situation or if I’m starting to grow anxious. like to hold babies: I love babies but I’ve never held one because I’m terrified. They’re so so soft and fragile and so easy to drop that I’ve always been too scared to try. growl when you are angry: No? That’s so weird? chew gum: Just occasionally, and I would usually just ask for one from JM, who brings a pack everyday. do more than 3 surveys a week? For the most part. There are weeks that I’m too busy but yeah I do tend to do this anyway.

#survey #surveys

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thequintessentialqueer · 5 years ago

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man this has been a weird fucking year so far. like obviously jaw surgery was hell, and I'm like, at least a little bisexual now which is???? I'm still digesting that tbh. uh, I started therapy and am now realizing that I likely have OCD which is like??? I literally never would have even begun to consider that because I'm so messy and disorganized but I actually have a lot of rituals that I Have To Do Or Else The People I Love Will Die and also I have horrible intrusive thoughts and just a constant, unending stream of obsessive thinking that I can't shut down or mitigate??? I read this really in-depth article that interviewed people with unusual forms of OCD and it was like someone had taken it all straight out of my life and my head. it literally made me cry from both relief and anguish. I gotta talk about it more with my therapist and hopefully see a specialist to rule out other shit, but yeah like fucccck.

uh let's see. what else? well, one of my former best friends ended our friendship (and did the same to our mutual best friend as well) because I am a "dangerous extremist" for not believing that "incremental change" is an adequate solution to the impending climate crisis/the rise of fascism??? and they ditched our other friend for even shittier reasons lmao so like I objectively know it was total bullshit but it still has made me way more insecure in all my relationships because like.......damn.......if they can end two 8 year long friendships over some shit that they never previously brought up or gave anyone a chance to talk through, how can I trust any of my other relationships? like I've only had one friendship longer than that one (10 years, with my darling justice, who I just spent a really lovely couple days with ❤️) and like.....you truly can think you know someone, you can put so much trust and love into them, support them through all their shit, stand by them through everything, and they can just....change so completely that it makes you question whether the self they presented to you up until that point was even real, you know? like the other friend in this situation was literally questioning to me whether any part of our friendship was real if they could do this for such weird and shitty reasons. and looking back they had a history of dropping people and they would always say that the person in question had turned out to be "toxic" and "manipulative" and we believed them because they were our best friend but now it's like.........huh. so that's a pattern.

and the way they handled it was so awful too. like this was all during my jaw surgery recovery and they didn't visit me once in the first two months, continuously claiming that they had a stomach bug or that they couldn't leave the house because of anxiety, just completely stringing me along when I was in pain and lonely and isolated and wanted so badly to see them, and I bought those blatantly obvious lies because I believed they would never lie to me like that. so it had to be true, right? and then they just sent a huge chunk of text over fb messenger making all sorts of assertions about my personality and beliefs, claiming that I was secretly judging them for things I absolutely had never judged them for, and so on. and the thing that fucked me up the most was that they said they had always idolized me to the point of believing anything I said was automatically true, but now they had realized I was "a rigid thinker who sees everything in black and white" and that I hold "beliefs that scare them" (aka that there can be no justice under the settler colonial state and that it has to be dissolved and replaced with indigenous sovereignty). it fucks me up even now because I have always been so afraid of being worshipped/put on a pedestal. the act of doing so is a denial of my humanity, which is intrinsically linked to my fallibility. they idealized me without my knowledge or consent, and then upon realizing that I was not perfect, they discarded me completely. at no point did they ever see me as the person I am. (also like you wanna talk black and white thinking lmao????? deciding that a person is either perfect or irredeemable would solidly fall under that imo).

anyway it just sucks so much because nothing they discarded me for was something bad I did. it was all the things about me that are good: that I am involved in activism, and willing to risk facing violence from the state as a consequence of protest; that I care deeply about the rights and liberation of all people; that I don't want all life on earth to die because of 100 companies and the systems that allow them to destroy the world for profit; that I am open and honest in my beliefs and practices and that I trust others to be the same way (one of the things they said was that they'd been dropping "subtle hints" that they had a problem by......asking me questions about things I said.........questions that I took at face value and answered sincerely. all of this knowing full well that I'm on the autism spectrum and don't pick up on "subtle hints"). so it just sucks because there was literally nothing I could have changed or fixed to salvage this relationship. I wish to god that the problem had been me so I could have corrected it. I know I was in the right but I don't want to be in the right - I just wanted us to be alright and there was nothing I could do because they were the one who was being ignorant, taking their fears about me judging them as evidence that I was judging them.

.......but yeah like this has made me actively scared to message my best friend from university because I'm just so scared of losing them too because I literally don't think I could take losing their love because I love them so much but like I know I'm literally damaging our friendship by not reaching out enough but I'm just so scared, even though I know it's irrational. I would be fine in person but all this shit with my ex-friend going down over fb messenger (which they also did to our other friend that same night) makes me so scared of receiving another message like that or of saying something and having it misconstrued and ruining everything. I'm so afraid because I try so hard to be kind, compassionate, trusting, loving, fair, honest.......to just do good in the world as much as possible and to do right by the people I love..........and to know that I can do all of that and have all of it twisted around as a bad thing........I don't know man it's just fucking hard.

anyway sorry for this million mile post I'm just. uggh. like I had a great day today. I've had a great week. I was at anime north, caught up with lots of friends......I've been actually reading and writing for the first time in ages.......and today I met with my mentor to discuss poetry, then bought some books, talked to some cool older socialists, hit up a bulk barn......like it was such a genuinely good day! and then I went to lay my head down for a quick nap and all this shit hit me again out of nowhere for the first time in weeks and I'm just like. is this gonna keep happening forever?? the other friend in this situation described us as being "literally in mourning for a loss" and like. fuck. true. but I'm just so mad that this is able to have power over my heart when there are so many good people in my life who love me and who I love in return. there's so much good in my life and I am learning and growing so much every day despite all my mental health shit. I have amazing comrades, incredible friends, a complicated but loving familial relationship......I guess this is just kind of......my first real breakup in a way?? (and my absolute first time being "broken up" with ever). like I've broken up with partners before but after like, weeks, months.......not 8 years. and it's like we did so much together and they're in so many of my photos, so many of my memories, and to know they only ever loved their idea of who I was, that they didn't really understand or know me......it sucks and I guess it's gonna suck for a long fucking time. but I wish it would stop sucking sooner.

#sounds like a personal problem #long post /#lmao sorry i know this is So Much #gotta get in all the oversharing i haven't done in like two months hahahahh #anyway im gonna try to be on here more #i don't know why I've had such a hard time being on here consistently this year????#i think the friendship breakup is part of it #and i fell out of the habit at some point during my surgery recovery when i was too exhausted to properly engage #but yeah idk i might delete this later but it feels really good to actually write it out #tomorrow in therapy I'll figure out how to reach out to my best friend and tell them how much i love them and to apologize for being distant #I'm not gonna let paranoia ruin things with someone i love so much and who has done nothing to deserve this fear

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mysticmikalla · 6 years ago

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oMG i'm so excited!!! would it be okay if i request some angst between jumin and the f!mc? i'm always seeing the bois getting jealous over mc, but never the other way around. so for this request could you please write a scenario of jumin blatantly letting another business woman flirt with him and him (out of pure business interest lmao bcs old habits die hard) flirting back? and mc/reader gets mad/jealous and idk just like arguing, and mc not talking to him, and like just angst but fluff (+)

Aye aye, thank you!!!! Your angsty but fluffy wish is my command!

***

It wasn’t as if you were blind to all the stares Jumin got from women all around him

Hell, they even shamelessly flirted with him when you two were out together, disregarding your presence completely and undressing him with their eyes right there in front of you

But you never really let it get to you, because the more they came onto him, they more he shut them out using polite words but ruthlessly enough so they’d know better than to try again

So you were never bothered by it, not really

Not until he gave you a reason to be

It was as if you were invisible, standing behind him and listening to words hinting affection that weren’t directed at you, but at a neatly-dressed woman with lustful intentions in her eyes

You knew that look too well, it was how every woman looked at him, but it was Jumin’s tone that felt foreign

Your heart squeezed painfully in your chest as the woman walked away with a smug smile plastered onto her face, probably satisfied at the mutual affection she had gotten from the handsome corporate prince

Jumin adjusted his tie and slowly turned around, a small smile rising on his lips upon seeing you

“Hello, my love.” He greeted you cheerfully

But when he approached you to give you a peck on the lips, he was met with your cheek instead

“Is something the matter?” He his brows pulled together in a frown, searching for your gaze

But you stubbornly refuse to look at him, your skin crawling with jealously and mistrust

“Who was that just now?”

He titled his head at your question, wondering what it had anything to do with your cold greeting

He’d actually had nearly forgotten he had been talking to someone prior to you. The conversation being so bland and routine that it escaped his mind almost immediately after seeing you

“She is the owner of a famous coffee business looking to expand to Korea,” he explained, “We might soon close a deal with her if everything in her end works out.”

“Does the deal involve you entertaining her advances towards you?”

He studied your face, perplexed to find your brows pulling together and eyes narrowing as you spoke

“Is that what has been troubling you?”

You scoffed, “Seeing your fiance flirting with another woman isn’t exactly the best feeling in the word, you know?”

Jumin has taken aback by the sudden harshness of your tone, “I didn’t do it out of malice, MC. It’s simply a business deal.”

“Not to me!” You argued, “You don’t have to come onto them to get a deal done. You make deals with businessmen all the time just fine without it.”

“It is just a business deal, my love. You are being irrational about this.”

He reached for you one more time, but you pulled away from him, too irritated to allow yourself to feel his touch

“I’m not being irrational! I can’t believe you would do that for the sake of a deal!”

“It’s what I’ve always done. I have never had a problem with it.”

“But that was before…. you know, me. Us.”

Jumin meant no harm by what he said, but it felt like someone knocked the air out of you as he uttered those words

“Nothing has changed.”

You blinked at him, taking a few seconds before fully processing his words. Nothing had changed?

After everything you had been through and all the things he said to you over the course of your relationship, nothing had changed?

You shook your head, a disbelieving sigh escaping you lips, “Nothing has changed, huh?”

“That’s not what I meant-”

You waved him off, “I know exactly what you meant. I’m going home, Jumin.”

“I thought you were spending the weekend at the penthouse?”

“I change my mind, I don’t want to be with you right now. I want to be alone.”

It was his own heart that fell too big for his chest right now, threatening to suffocate his lungs

“Let’s talk about this, you are not thinking straight right now.”

“You’re the one not thinking straight when it comes to women,” you spat, regretting your words immediately after they left your lips, “You’re just like your father.”

Just like your father? Really, MC?! You cursed yourself all the way home, wanting to smash your head into the wall for being so goddamn stupid

You got in the shower once you made it to your empty apartment hoping to relieve your stress, movements as heavy as your heart, Out of all the things you could say to him, you choose that! How fucking heartless are you?!

And when you curled up in your bed, thinking about how you should be with him right now, you muttered, “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

You had never seen that look of betrayal in his eyes before, and it would not leave your mind as you tossed and turned, hopelessly attempting to fall asleep

You had never been one to lash out like that, to purposely hurt someone because they hurt you. But jealously made you blind, wanting him to feel what you had, to hurt him as he had hurt you

But, hah! Joke’s on you, MC, you feel even worse now

He had called several times and sent innumerous texts, either asking for forgiveness or for a chance to talk

You didn’t reply to single one of them, out of shame and lack of words to say to him. He didn’t even try to stop you as you left the C&R building, probably too hurt or angry at your words to chase after you

You wanted to be alone, but you didn’t want to feel alone. And right now, the feeling was eating you away as you replayed the downwards tugging of lips when you used something he entrusted you his feelings towards against him

Stupid, MC, stupid, you damned yourself before finally drifting off into a restless slumber

Jumin woke up tired the next day

Mornings were usually when he was most productive, but even willing himself out of bed was an exhausting challenge

He was usually a quiet sleeper, but now his bed sheets were all over the place from moving too much during his sleepless night

As he would begin to drift off, Jumin tried reaching for you across the bed, only to be met with your cold pillow bitterly reminding him that you weren’t there

You were probably home alone, and knowing you, you probably spent the same restless night as he did

And it was his fault

He couldn’t believe he had been so naive. Of course you were hurt, he could now see your reason for being so

If only he had realized it sooner and apologized instead of being stubborn, you two would have shared a night of laughter and passion, but that was an impossibility now

His heart sunk a little lower each time he got your voicemail, and he restlessly checked his messages, hoping to see your reply, even if they were harsh words

Anything was better than your deafening silence. It was as if he was transported to the time before he met you, and it was suffocating how Jumin couldn’t share his thoughts with you

You had visited him on a Friday, and with Sunday evening quickly approaching, he made his mind to go to your apartment despite your wishes to be alone

He was expecting you to yell at him, to be so upset you wouldn’t answer the door when he knocked, to even cuss him out

Jumin was not expecting you to be at the other side of the door of his penthouse, about to knock

There was a moment of silence when your eyes met, him being surprised that you were there and you searching for hurt or anger in his eyes

“I was on my way to see you.” It was him who spoke first

“I guess I beat you to it,” you gave him a soft smile, and he swore his heart immediately felt a thousand pounds lighter upon seeing it, “Jumin, I-”

“Let’s talk inside.” He stepped aside so you could enter. Having you in his house was a feeling he knew he would never fully get used to. Not only were you safe, you were with him, you were there for him

The house felt cold and empty in your absence, and only now did he realize how much you truly made it a home

“I’m sorry.” You breathed once he shut the door behind you. He kept his distance, painfully remembering how you didn’t want to be touched by him few days prior

“There is no need for you to be sorry. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

“N-no. What I said to you…No matter how hurt I was, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry, I can’t believe I said that to you, I didn’t mean it. You’re nothing like your father when it comes to that, and I hate myself for saying it.”

His eyes softened while you spoke, and temptingly he stretched his hand out for you to take. Relieved that you didn’t reject his touch again, he gently pulled you towards him, “Please don’t hate yourself, my love, I know you didn’t mean it. But I understand why you said it. I wasn’t thinking of how it would affect you, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” You murmured against his chest, “I know you didn’t mean it, either. I may have overreacted a bit, I’m sorry.”

He placed a tender the top of your head, “I’m the one who acted irrationally, not you. I guess I was doing what I had always done, and I didn’t consider that you might not be okay with it. It was selfish of me to say that nothing changed.”

Jumin brushed your hair over your ear so he could see your face better, and tilting your chin up, he murmured, “Everything has changed. You have no idea of the impact you’ve had in my life. I’m ten times the person I used to be because of you, MC, and I don’t think I’ve properly thanked you enough for staying by me all this time.”

“Jumin..”

“And I’m sorry for hurting you. I was an idiot for doing what I did, I know I would be hurt if I saw you do the same.”

“I would never do that.”

“I know,” he chuckled, “Which is one of the many reasons why you’re so much better than me.”

You nuzzled further into the warmth of the embrace, feeling his chest rise up and down as he breathed, “That’s not true. We’re both still learning how to do this.”

“I guess we are,” he agreed, drawing circles with his thumb in between your shoulder blades, “You must be tired, what do you say we finish this chat in the bedroom? We have a whole weekend of catching up to do.”

#what up #im mika #im 19 #and ive never fucking learned how to write short hcs #also idk now to end this pls let me know if its awkward #request #mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger scenarios #mystic messenger fanfic #jumin han #jumin han headcanons #jumin han fanfic #mm jumin #mysme jumin #mysme

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sarenhale · 6 years ago

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a funny, shitty work experience that lasted 1 week (luckily)

(VERY LONG POST)

Oh anyway. It’s 5 am and I can’t sleep and gotta be ready for work in a hour, so... you want to hear a long, ridicolous story about the job offer in Spain I had like 10 days ago? Ready for a wild ride? HERE WE GO.

Basically. A guy that my dad knew due to business (my dad sells vintage stuff) asked about me since my dad told him I did graphic design at Uni and I do illustration/drawings etc, and he reached out to me and asked me to do some illustrations for his brand. The guy is super rich and has a company that do a lot of stuff branching from fashion, to perfumes, to wine bottles, cars and other stuff. I knew I didn’t have a lot of time to work on the job he asked me, but decided to try it anyways just to see how it was like.

I meet the guy with my dad. We talk. In the end, he changes the work totally from illustrations to... graphic design for his website? Ok, I’m slightly confused by the sudden change of plans, but I studied graphic design for 3 years at Uni and I know my job and also like it, so decide to go with it. He says he wants to meet me in Spain at his office so we can talk freely about the work and decide the job contract together etc. With NO NOTICE he tells me that I have to fly to Spain in 3 days to meet him. Since he pays everything, plane & hotel included, I accept because I’m an extremely open to travel person and very adaptable to situations, and also I tell to myself ‘why not, this could be a good possibility for me, never turn down a job’.

We meet in Spain, everything is normal, but I realize the dude has absolutely NO IDEA what he’s doing and what he wants for his brand, also he apparently never had a graphic design for his brand despite it being kinda a big deal. I’m very concerned about the... irresponsability for his brand’s seriousness and identity, and on top of this, he keeps jumping from topic to topic like he wants illustrations, than graphic design, than posters, than photos and videos... and I’m ONE PERSON.

Important: in september, I’m flying to America to follow my dream as a concept artist/illustrator and attend classes! Of course I tell him this THE FIRST TIME I see him, and warn him that despite being up for the job, I have little to no time due to the fact I have a part time job at the restaurant and also have to fly in America in like, 3 weeks. He plays it off like it’s all cool and gives me the ‘Don’t worry, you just work on this whenever you can, when you have time, no rush, I will follow your pace and time’. Also says he will give me a certain amount of money as payment every month to do graphic design for his site.

Important terrible fact: his WIFE, that knows absolutely nothing of graphic design/art/web design whatsoever, is apparently managing this side of the brand. So he tells me like, last minute, that I will have to keep in contact with her for this job. I’m already sweating and feeling like this is all going downhill pretty fast into ‘unprofessional’ waters.

When I’m back home, she IMMEDIATELY writes me to do a huge amount of work despite knowing that I have work (and shifts that are 11 hours a day average!) because ofc I told her and him (and clarified my situation from the beginning). But she wants all the work done RIGHT NOW. She’s also super anxious and pressing me via messages (cause I made the mistake to let her have my cellphone number) and, through the week, keeps sending me texts at 2 AM ASKING ME ABOUT WORK.

She continues writing me everyday multiple times, when I am home doing the work and even when I’m at the restaurant at work. Despite explaining this to her, and reminding her that the plan all along was that I would work on their blasted websites when I have the possibility (so when I’m off work from my part-time job), she... gets mad at me for not keeping in contact and answering??? And I’m just here like. BITCH.

At this point, I’m already deep in shit and I know this is a shitshow of a job and I want to quit, despite ONLY A WEEK of effective work. During like, 2 days, I already did two WHOLE websites for them and also 2 logos for their brand, a job that normally a graphic design would require like... 2 months or so. All of this because of the huge pressure.

In the meantime, he writes me (the dude that asked me for the job in the first place) that he can keep my pace, I have all the time I need, no pressure etc, he respects my work, etc... and I’m here like ???????????? You are doing THE POLAR OPPOSITE of respecting me and my work, by absolutely shitting on the contract we had. Because we talked about this together, about the amount of hours I would have to work and the job I would have to do, and decided TOGETHER everything. It’s not I’m making all of this up, he was the one that came to me in the first place with the proposition of working when I could off my part-time job.

Last part of this shitshow: his wife texts me they NEED 4 DIFFERENT D I F F E R E N T WORKS done for the next week, asap.

I’m speechless. The 4 works she talks about are not only too much and not even remotely doable in a week (lmao not even a team of graphic designer could pull off doing 4 different whole works in a week), but ARE NOT RELATED TO THE JOB THEY TOLD ME ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE!! They’re asking for graphic design for a restaurant menu and merchandising for the restaurant (????), logos for ALL their websites (that are 20), posters for a music festival and other not-related jobs I honestly can’t even remember due to the ridiculousness of the proposal. I am in AWE for the COMPLETELY ABSURD REQUEST.

This is just the shit on the top of the shit cake. Also, gotta love how she texted me ‘Marina we need this done in a week’, not even apologizing for the short notice, or for giving me orders. The whole time she texted me for work, also, she was terribly rude and unprofessional, checking on me like she was my wife or something, and just being overly stressful.

Of course I know I won’t do this work and accept this proposal, because 1 It wasn’t in our contract and it’s not a job I should do since you hired me for other things, 2 It’s such short notice it’s HUMANLY IMPOSSIBLE for me to do it, 3 You’d have me working like a slave for your shitty last minute pretends, 4 Even if I wanted, I don’t have the ACTUAL TIME to work since I have another job and this week you’re giving me to work would sum up to the total of 3 days (since I work 4 days a week at the restaurant with daily shifts of 11 / 12 hours) 5 You’re not respecting our original pact, and literally are shitting on the promises you made to me, of me having time to work at my pace on your project and even saying stuff like ‘Your studies are more important!!! So focus on those this is just a job you can do when you have time on your week!!!’ So, HUGE HYPOCRITE, 6 YOU’RE FUCKING CRAZY DUDE. Period.

So I text him asking to talk about the latest work he asked, and tell him I can’t do it in time. He DOESN’T EVEN CALL ME but just texts me shit like ‘oh ok you have 10 days’ and at this point i’m there speechless and decide to straightforward call him at the phone.

At the phone, I tell him I can’t do the job because I would have no time to work, and also isn’t literally possible for me to fo 4 FINISHED DIFFERENT PROJECTS in three days. He responds with vague shit like ‘oh well I can give you three more days’ like that would be sufficient, and also completely changes the version from the one his wife texted me, and at this point, I just know he’s a huge liar and hypocrite and basically fucking with me. So I tell him that I just can’t do that job in time, but that I can keep working on the sites I was already working on for them, of course explaining to him WHY and HOW I can’t work on that huge amount of projects he just shoved down my throath without to previous warning or discussion.

He agrees on me and we left on these terms. Later, I text his wife about all the final touches I made to the websites. (I already knew I was going to drop the job at one point, so I wanted to finish the content so I had no unsolved business or work that could later come back to bite me in the ass- just even for personal satisfaction, cause I like finished things.)

Despite me making a HUGE amount of work on that blasted website, she doesn’t even respond to my text.

LATER, I GET AN EMAIL FROM THE DUDE. THE MOST RIDICOLOUS EMAIL I HAD EVER GOTTEN IN MY LIFE FROM SOMEONE.

I swear, if it wasn’t in italian, I would really have posted the photo of the original, cause it’s just... too baffling and hilarious at the same time.

Basically, he tells me he’s sad I talked to him at the phone with an ‘harsh tone’ and don’t want to do the job because he’s offering a huge opportunity for me. (I even asked my mother about my tone during the phone call: she told me I was absolutely neutral and polite. And I KNEW I WAS BEING super calm, so he’s just assing it up)

He then goes on how he respects me as a person and respects my work (HOW? H O W are you respecting me as an artist and even as a person after how you and your wife have treated me??) and he’s sad to see me go. (I didn’t even told him ‘I’m quitting the job’ or something, I was EVEN willing to finish the websites for him no problem!! So he’s just a fucking huge irresponsible baby for acting like I dropped him suddenly cause he totally COULD HAVE BEHAVED in another way and gotten a better deal with this!!)

He also felt like adding how good as a person, boss and business man he is to this fucken email like this man is literally a huge egocentric baby (I had a hint when I saw his brand image consists of photos of him and his name everywhere on his wines, perfumes, cars and spaghetti lmao), and also... my favourite part. THAT I FEELS LIKE I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM YET!! :( And all because I told him the truth and didn’t like being a slave for him! Figures! Absurd! Absolute fool I am for throwing away such a proposal!!! A LIFE-DEAL!!! Oh man I’m such an hopeless fool!

And then goes on paternalizing me, and analyzing my life, telling me also things like ‘at your age I was starting business everywhere and had success’ LIKE LMFAO This man I can’t even

Also tells me that the estimated time for the job could be ‘discussed very easily’ when his wife and him were the first and ONLY people telling me with an imperative tone they needed the work done in a week 😂 😂 😂 😂 LMFAO

And... finishes the email off with... ... ... PAYING ME THE EXACT HALF OF WHAT HE PROMISED! ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. ABSOLUTELY CRAZY DISPLAY OF KINDESS AND GENEROSITY, MY DUDE, And also showing how much of a hypocrite and piece of shit you are!

In the end: I was so enternained by the absolute absurd way this man and his wife managed their job (and in particular the final ACT) that I’m not even bitter, I’m just genuinely remembering this experience as a HUGE JOKE. Because It’s what it is.

I know I started this post with a serious and detailed way of describing things and the end is just... me laughing my ass off, but hey, it’s now 6 am and I didn’t sleep and also remembering this experience is causing some funny flashbacks. So I’m sorry for the phrasing or whatever... hope you could even understand what I wrote. English is highkey compromised, at this hour and when talking about such absurd MEMENTOS.

And this is all, cause I’m never writing such a long story ever in my life. But It felt important to share this shitshow with you all... even for remembering that, just because you need job, money, or experience in life... you should NEVER be someone’s slave and be treated so badly. N E V E R.

#personal #personal talk #talk

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beanplague-moved · 6 years ago

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Ethical Distraction

i just remembered this fic commissioned by @froglovrr from a while ago and figured i’d post it since i hadn’t already lmao.

ao3 | writing commissions | art commissions.

Vera says, “I want ingredients for a potion,” and you feel like you should probably question that. At the same time, you are very into her and you don’t want to jeopardize that leads to you spending time with her. It’s truly a predicament.

You first settle on, “Okay,” because you are so very attracted to Vera and so very happy to share oxygen with her. It’s only after you look to the side and see Brian shaking his head at your quick answer that you ask, “Why?”

Vera raises a well-shaped eyebrow, “You don’t normally question my actions, Vicky,” she states, flatly, and she’s right. You kind of blindly go along with whatever Vera asks you, because she’s really hot and really smart and kind of terrifying. All of those traits sort of go through the funnel and get added to the can of worms that is your attraction to her.

You say, “I know, uh, I just,” and you glance at the others at your table. Amira raises both eyebrows, like she fully expects you to accept this offer simply on the basis of thirst, which is offensive. You aren’t some one dimensional character driven exclusively by your libido, like the interdimensional prince. You’re a three dimensional character driven exclusively by your libido! Like, uh, Polly?

Vera is talking again. You draw your attention to her.

“If you’re dead set on asking, I need help because my sister doesn’t sell any of the items on my list here,” she hands you her phone and allows you to scroll down the excessive list of ingredients needed for this potion. You see a few that seem easy to get, such as “baby teeth” and “the souls of the damned,” alongside items that are more peculiar, such as “the very concept of melancholy” and “the literal color yellow” and “a successful ketogenic diet.”

You say, “What’s the potion for?”

“My, my, so many questions!” says Vera, “Unfortunately, questions getting answered are the leading cause of worker assassinations. Do you want me to be assassinated, Vicky?”

You say, “No!” very defensively and far too quickly. You’re trying not to be too obvious about having a thing for her, but just obvious enough that if she spontaneously developed feelings for you she’d know it’d be safe to tell you. You know. Because you care. “I’ll help,” you agree.

Vera claps her hands together, “Perfect! We start the search after lunch today. Enjoy your meal with your friends or whatever,” she saunters off. Your friends wait until she’s a safe distance away to start talking.

“I really thought she was going to add ‘it might be your last’ or some other Disney villain shit,” says Amira.

“Hey, at least she knows who’s most likely to help her out of us,” says Oz, and they all look at you. You hold your hands up as if defending guilt.

“I—wait,” you try to stammer through an explanation of why you totally ditched your dignity in favor of hanging out with a hot girl. You start again, “You don’t understand—”

Oz holds their hand out in front of you, gesturing for you to be quiet. “I’m heading out. Miranda and I are gonna go make merfolk propaganda posters,” they say, “Good luck with Vera or whatever,” they make a peace sign as they stand up and walk out of the cafeteria. What a flake. Anyway.

You start again, “I just, it’s not that I like Vera—”

Amira interrupts you. “Scott wants to play fetch,” she adds no further explanation, “See ya, losers,” and she’s off. You pause as you watch her leave, but no sooner do you turn to Brian.

“I have perfectly reasonable explanations for why I like helping her out,” you say. Brian blinks back at you.

“I’m not gonna lie to you, Vic, I’d just rather be with Damien right now,” says Brian, who pushes in his chair before he leaves. What the hell? Have all your friends always been so obsessed with their respective love interests? You’re just about to reconsider your stance on prioritizing romance when Vera sends you a text.

vera. ❤ I’m going to need you to skip 4th period with me. s. Vera Oberlin, 12:25.

You think about informing her that she doesn’t need to sign off on or timestamp her own text messages, but you don’t. Instead you sit at your table and anticipate the time you’re going to spend with her.

The first ingredient on Vera’s list is “the voice of a princess” and so you find the nearest princess. A beautiful, respected lass with the finest hair and the most powerful father in all of the seven seas, who rules over the merfolk with an iron fist.

(Miranda. You find Miranda.)

Vera seems rather unphased by the concept of stealing her friend and classmate’s voice in order to create a potion. She stands and waits for Miranda with you.

“Vicky,” she says, leaning against Miranda’s heavily decorated and gilden locker, “I didn’t see you at prom.”

You raise an eyebrow at that, because Vera doesn’t have much of a reason to care about your antics after prom. You didn’t go with her—not for lack of trying, of course. You did ask.

“Well, uh,” you say, “I ended up going with Brian and Damien. You know, as friends.” As a third wheel, but she doesn’t need to know that.

You expect Vera to react with smug superiority, or maybe pity if she’s feeling particularly off, but instead she doesn’t say anything. She crosses her arms.

“I hope you had fun,” says Vera. You bristle. Genuine well wishes? From Vera? Are you dreaming?

You’re about to pinch yourself—and following that you plan to ask her about the sudden concern—but Miranda appears before you can do either. Vera immediately turns up the charm, which isn’t very hard for her. Her stat in that category is probably really high.

“Miranda, it’s nice to see you,” says Vera, with uncharacteristic kindness. You feel like, had you been Miranda, you would have immediately known something was up, but she seems unknowing and pleasant as always.

Miranda beams, “It’s nice to see you, Vera!” she says, completely unphased by this weird and uncanny show of good faith from Vera. “What brings you to my locker?”

“Oh, nothing much,” says Vera, and she does a very obviously fake gasp, “Though I must say, the solid gold that your locker is made from is really lovely and not tacky at all! I admire your sense of style.”

“You’re too kind!” says Miranda, “Oh, I always knew we would be grand friends someday, Vera! Of course, I had assumed it would take a fair amount of brainwashing to make you consider the possibility, but still! It’s nice to know you took our friendship into your own hands.”

You wonder if naivete is a valued trait among merfolk, which would make sense given Miranda’s actions and character and entire personality. However, you kind of realize she literally hinted at the idea of brainwashing Vera into being her friend, so maybe it’s less naivete and more willful stupidity.

Vera doesn’t let this very suspicious statement bother her, and instead continues in her obvious manipulation of Miranda’s ignorance. “I, personally, only came to see my dearest friend. My associate, however,” Vera places her hands on your shoulders and moves you in front of her, “would like to make a deal with you.”

“I, uh, what?” you turn to face Vera, who raises her eyebrows at you in a way that makes you fear the concept of disappointing her. You turn back to Miranda. “Oh, uh, yeah. Vera’s right. I need a favor.”

You must really like Vera.

Despite your quiet speculation of Miranda’s intelligence, you really don’t want to end up on her bad side. Still, Vera probably knows what she’s doing. Hopefully.

Miranda looks at you with intrigue, “What sort of favor?” she asks.

“Your voice,” you blurt, before quickly amending, “Uh, I’ll return it, you know. I just need to use it for a…” you glance back at Vera. She narrows her eyes at you. You turn back to Miranda. “Science project?”

Miranda hums contemplatively. “A science project,” she says, “I suppose that is a rather important subject for people who can’t hire serfs to do their work for them.”

“Yeah! It is!” you insist, “And, uh, I’ll probably get a bunch of money for completing this project, which I can split with you.”

Miranda gasps, “I never knew that completing school projects were rewarded with monetary compensation!” she says, “I should probably start attending my classes, if that’s the case.”

There’s a moment of silence where you think she might be getting suspicious of your obvious lie, and you can feel yourself beginning to sweat. If Miranda kills you she definitely gets diplomatic immunity, and if you die you’ll never be able to do shady shit with Vera ever again. Oh God, you haven’t even written a will.

Miranda starts laughing, and you are promptly split away from your spiral of anxiety.

“I’m joking. As if I would actually attend class when I have people to do that for me,” she snorts.

“Oh, yeah,” you say, and you nervously chuckle with her.

Miranda has to wipe a tear from her eye, which is weird. That joke wasn’t that funny and you aren’t sure if fish cry. She says, “I suppose I’ll donate my lovely voice to your cause.”

“—Perfect!” interjects Vera, who steps in front of you. She holds out a very convenient amulet. “I’ve already set up very coincidental spells for this occasion. If you would just sing into this amulet, please,” she requests, and Miranda sings a very sweet song about a genocide committed by the merfolk long ago. You decide not to think about it too much.

The amulet is glowing by the time she’s done, and Vera takes it and puts it on. It’s a little bright for your taste, but it looks good on her. Miranda attempts to say goodbye when you leave, before realizing that giving away her voice has rendered her mute. She instead settles for silently waving at you.

As you walk away, Vera slinks an arm around your shoulders. “A perfect start,” she says, “I would have preferred you avoid the promise of money, since I’m certainly not going to give her any, but a success nonetheless.”

You kind of register that sentence, but mostly you register the fact that her arm is over your shoulder and she isn’t physically repulsed by the idea of touching you. Holy shit.

You and Vera skip your next few periods to continue gathering ingredients for this weirdly complicated potion. You get the souls of the damned in a bet with Damien, the concept of melancholy from Liam, who says it isn’t much of a stretch considering he has transformed into a general feeling of unease at one point, and you get the successful ketogenic diet from Polly, who has never eaten and thus doesn’t eat carbs.

At one point, after you’ve bought the baby teeth from a very suspicious dealer outside your school who suggested you snort them, you take a short break.

You stay outside, in the area where the daily rave usually takes place. You sit on a bench together. Vera sits up straight, and you stare at her for a moment. She’s attractive, but you try to compartmentalize that attractiveness. You try to understand why you find her attractive.

There’s certainly the physical part. She’s objectively hot, with an elegant way of carrying herself and a confident demeanor. Her eyes are observant, calculating. She has high, defined cheekbones and lips that are nice to stare at. Physically, she’s kind of a sight to behold.

And beyond the physical, she’s also deeply intelligent and business minded. She’s well informed and political, and she’s ambitious. She’s so ambitious and so willing to go after what she wants.

(You hope that she could want you, eventually.)

You say, “Why didn’t you go to prom with me?” and immediately regret it. Thinking out loud is such bullshit. You amend, “Nevermind—”

She cuts you off, “I kind of went with my gut,” she says, and she carefully examines your face for a reaction. “You could say that I’m not exactly used to feelings, mostly because I spend my time ignoring all of the ones that are inconvenient.”

“I see,” you say. You don’t really know where to go from there.

Vera hums, “You can be quite the distraction, Vicky,” she says, and you really don’t know how to process that.

“Oh,” you say, “oh.”

She smiles. It’s so nice to see her smile, and extremely unexpected. She seems proud when she looks at you, which makes your heart skip several consecutive beats. You’re really lucky that you happen to be a collection of reanimated corpses.

“Distractions aren’t ideal for me,” she says, “Neither is the insinuation that I have feelings, or that I care about others, but,” she glances at you, and you feel warm and delighted and confused all at once. “My feelings for you are complicated.”

“Complicated,” you echo.

“Very,” she says, “Because, contrary to what I would like, I do care about you.”

She cares about you! Holy shit!

She scratches the back of her neck, “Well, uh, this is awkward,” she says.

“It isn’t awkward!” you say, way too quickly, “It’s, uh, kinda romantic, you know?”

“Romantic,” Vera tests out the word, “I see.”

She seems to think over the concept, and slowly she lifts a hand to your cheek and tilts your head up a bit. She kisses you.

The kiss is curious, at first, as if she’s just testing the waters. It quickly manages to become more serious as she gets more involved, leaning into the kiss and running one of her hands through your hair. You return with equal interest, and maybe a bit of excitement. Okay, a lot of excitement.

She pulls away after a while, “That was satisfactory,” she says, and she smiles when she looks at you. “Okay, more than satisfactory.”

You could come up with a few more ways to describe it, like awesome, fantastic, amazing, etcetera.

Despite your increasingly sappy and romantic thoughts, and the fact that your heart feels like its swelling in your chest, you manage to have one coherent question.

“What was the potion for?”

“Oh, that shit?” says Vera, “it’s a scam for the sake of hanging out with you. I was mostly planning to sell all of it, but I am using the baby teeth to supply a small dentistry.”

“Is that also a scam?”

“Oh yeah,” she says, and she is doubly satisfied with herself. You kind of swell with pride, because she may be a cold-hearted capitalist with blood on her hands, but she’s your cold-hearted capitalist with blood on her hands.

#monster prom #vicky (monster prom)#vera oberlin #my writes

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mysmewiththatstraightshit · 7 years ago

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are requests still open ,,? if it’s not too much, could i have headcanons for the rfa + rika + v reacting to an mc dropping a ton of hints that they’re genderfluid ? saying things like “would i make a cute boy?”, “lolol gender? who’s she”, etc. i’ve been really uncomfortable with myself recently and would appreciate it a lot! ^^ but i understand if it’s too much

We can definitely do that for you anon! Requests are wide open, since we’re a new blog. We only have a few that we’re working at right now! That will probably be down to none by the end of tonight.

However, if you check our about, you’ll see that we don’t do requests that involve Rika directly reacting. It’s a mix of a personal comfort thing as well as not wanting to promote the idea of a Rika route…I hope you’ll understand!

But otherwise, we can do everyone else, so let’s get on with this request!

Zen:

Would probably be entirely oblivious to it at first. Dropping hints probably doesn’t help because Zen probably sees stuff like that as just messing around or being silly.

“Huh? ;;; a cute boy…? well, you’re already cute, so…I guess yes? lolol”

“;;; am I missing something? is there some sort of joke about someones name being Gender…?”

Also would probably think of it as the way Seven plays around with cosplay.

That is, until you try to be open and straightforward with him. He’d be really confused at first, and probably have a ton of flashbacks through all the different hints you’ve dropped, and he’ll feel like an idiot for brushing all that stuff off.

He might take some time to get it, but Zen’s growth is all about him accepting himself as well as the others for exactly who they are, and not what media and the people want them to be. So I think Zen would quickly jump up to the chance to make you feel better about yourself and help you accept yourself

Plus, I think Zen exploring the idea of gender would really open his eyes and sorta send him into his own exploration of his own gender. Especially since he’s stated that he has done girl roles before when he was younger. I think he’d start realizing that he can explore that stuff a lot like he explores roles in theatre, and try to get comfortable alongside you

Overall, it’d be a scary beginning with him being a little oblivious, but it’d be something happy and healthy for the both of you to open up about

Yoosung:

I think he’d laugh along a lot at first and tbh, he’d be more up to date than the others on this sorta stuff through social media I feel, so he’d actually get some of the jokes too

He’d get flustered at the boy part probably. but likely take the chance to answer “MC, I think you’d look cute no matter what!”

“gender? wack lololol”

Because of that, I think he’d be one of the quickest to catch on. He’d probably ask a lot of questions at first, which might be a little anxiety-inducing because you’re not sure how he feels, but he wholeheartedly accepts you by the end, and tells you he just wasn’t entirely experienced when it came to gender stuff, but he’s glad to get it a little better now.

He would probably be one of the ones most eager to ask more about it and help you with stuff, like giving you clothes he doesn’t really use anymore, telling you about cool new progressive websites, and he’d be happy to introduce you to his LOLOL guild members just as who you are. He’d stand up for you the moment anyone said anything. You’re not alone when it comes to Yoosung.

I think too, since Yoosung tends to be pretty feminine and is the youngest of the group, he’d be much more open about exploring his own gender as well. I think it’d be good and fun for the both of you, and you both would end up giving courage to the other to just be themselves.

Jaehee:

Jaehee would be sorta oblivious to it as well, but she’d probably be more straightforward in asking about it.

“Are you… confused about the concept of gender?”

“Being cute… is about your looks, and not gender, I would think.”

While she seems like she’d be against the idea, once you open up to her, I think she’d actually sorta nod quietly to it and support you entirely. She probably relates it back to herself where she’s always seen as sorta more masculine and how she always keeps to herself and doesn’t let herself express herself more, and she wouldn’t want that for you

So she’d be there for you, perhaps at time confused or shocked, but she’ll always end with a smile and a thumb up, always encouraging you to be yourself no matter the odds. Don’t end up like her !! ;;

However, if you tried to, I think you could really get Jaehee to lighten up and express herself however she wanted to. Let her feel confident in growing out long hair AND being strong as hell and having a pack to her punch!!! And she’d be ever grateful for it.

Jumin:

He’d probably be the most straightforward in asking about it, and to some extent, picking up on it as well.

“Looks are what they are no matter your gender. If you are cute as a girl, you are cute as a boy. If you changed your looks however, that would be a different story.”

“Gender is a concept, not a person. However, the concept of gender as a person… if they existed, they’d make an interesting party guest. They could provide some useful insight.”

He’d probably text you or call you privately asking about it, sorta trying to get you to say it instead of asking outright.

Once you do open up to him, he would at first reply with a sorta distant, “Hmm, I see.” and there would be that moment of dread like, oh my god, he’s the conservative type, is he gonna be that one person in the RFA i can’t be around anymore?

but then he immediately goes “While I cannot entirely understand myself not being comfortable with your given gender, I am not you. I support any decisions you make about yourself. There is no one in this world to understand our inner selves than oneself.”

He’d be the one to sorta change the least in how he feels and acts about you. He’d just respect you and when gender is relevant, acknowledge that you’re genderfluid. But otherwise, to him, you are still you, and he has no problem with that.

Also, I think Jumin would be the most comfortable with his gender, but he wouldn’t mind exploring outfits, cosplay, etc. with you. He expresses interest in cosplay after all. In general, Jumin seems to like exploring new hobbies, so he’d definitely enjoy challenging gender roles alongside you.

Seven:

Seven would be the god damn expert lmao. Anyone can tell with Seven that he definitely has explored the most when it comes to sexuality and gender, so he’d be there with you not missing a single beat.

“MC, a cute boy…? But maybe the real question is…can you be cuter than the one and only… 7! 0! 7!”

“Gender is…. my arch nemesis!!! you can’t hack gender, MC…” (crying emoji)

He’d probably end up approaching you before you’d even approach him. He’d ask you whats up and how you feel about it, and make a million jokes. He’d probably open up about himself a little too as well, to make you feel safer.

Once you open up, he’s full gears forward. From jokes to deep talks at night over the phone about how stupid people are for being so afraid and conservative over something that’s a concept anyways. And I think he’d reassure you, too, that not only would the RFA still accept you, but that he’d be there for you when you open up to them, for if you ever begin feeling afraid or insecure.

He’d be the most willing to explore gender and gender roles with you, 100%. He’d be there for you and as well he’d let himself be more open, trying to be a role model and show you that there’s nothing to fear in being yourself. While there’s a lot that Seven will hide, he won’t hide that he kills it in a long red wig and maid dress. So why should you hide that everyday no matter your gender, you’re killin’ it too?

I think V, being confused about himself, wouldn’t quite know how to react or offer help, but he’d always support you no matter what.

“A cute boy! Of course…! Beauty is truly in the heart, after all. No one is truly ugly.”

“Who is she…? What an odd question to consider. And would gender immediately be referred to as ‘she’?”

If you decided to open up to him first, he’d be all ears. He’d sit and listen politely through everything you have to say and explain, and he wouldn’t just hear you out but he’d listen. He’d learn all he could from it so he could better understand. And by the end of it he’ll give you a genuine smile (or genuine happy emoji) and thank you for trusting him so much, and reassure you that the RFA will accept you wholeheartedly. And you can sorta tell he’ll beat ass if anybody gives you shit, even if he doesn’t say it lmao

He’d offer to take photographs of you in all sorts of clothing as well as settings, poses, etc. Basically offering to make an entire project representing the beauty in you being genderfluid-and showing you that it’s okay and you are stunning no matter the clothes and gender. You yourself are beautiful.

I think V would also be the type who would do stuff alongside you. If you wear a skirt, he’d wear a skirt with you. Booty shorts? You’re both rockin’ it! I think he’d be happy to explore gender and gender roles, and would probably find himself somewhere outside the binary as well, and thank you for helping him find that in himself

Saeran:

He’s be sorta stand-offish about it, but only because he’d think that you’d be trying to get him to open up more, and that he isn’t already doing enough, so he’d accidentally get defensive

“Yeah, I-I guess you’d make a cute boy? What kind of question is that…”

“What do you mean, who is she? Is this some sort of meme or something…?”

Once you open up to him about it, he’d take some time to process things, but he’d understand that that’s who you are and he wouldn’t want you to change for anything, especially not him.

He’d probably start getting more frustrated when you don’t believe in yourself instead, as well as finding your jokes funnier now that he understands the concept better.

He’d be embarrassed to explore gender with you, but he’d still probably be curious, and when all his fuss is settled, I think he’d be happier in being able to try things without being judged. Even if in the end he might not have liked it, he’s glad to just being living life with you.

Ray:

He’d be very happy to hear you out, even if he doesn’t quite understand it himself. Whereas Saeran is frustrated and defensive, Ray would try harder and harder to understand the missing pieces of what you were saying.

“Oh…? I think you’d make a cute anything! You’re just cute, MC…”

“Gender stuff can be kinda funny, huh…?”

When you do open up to him, he’d at first just be delighted in you opening up to him at all-that you trusted him that much! Then, he’d express how much he’ll support you wholeheartedly, and anything you’d like help with or need reassurance about, you can go to him about.

He’d be much more eager than Saeran to try out new things and explore his gender-he’s already known to be more feminine, and so he wouldn’t mind exploring more of that part of him if it made him comfortable. After all, he knows you won’t judge, and so you two can happily explore and reassure each other of your identities.

Also, I know you didn’t specifically request Vanderwood, but since everyone else was here, I didn’t want to leave gender master Vanderwood out of it.

Vanderwood:

It’d be as simple as Vanderwood gesturing to themself and going, “Join the club. You’ll find no judgement from me.”

While they wouldn’t be the type to joke themself, you’d definitely get a few chuckles from them when you joke. They find it even comforting really to have someone be more open about that stuff, and treat it so casually.

They’d offer you advice about a lot of stuff, and despite trying to stay distant, you bet they’d dote on you every time they DO get to talk with you

If you show worry and concern back to them, and tell them that you’re there for them as well, they’d be sorta shocked, and on the outside try to brush it off, but truthfully, you’d have deeply touched them to have reached out a hand to them like that.

They’ll recommend leopard print everything. Don’t fall for the trap. Once you’re leopard print, you’ll never go back.

They’d also immediately be a hypocrite and criticize everything Seven does and wears. But it’s mostly harmless fun that Seven laughs off as well.

I hope you can find more confidence in being yourself soon, anon! As someone agender and proud, here’s me to you: I believe in you!!

- Mod Grim

#mystic messenger #zen #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #jumin han #saeyoung choi #jihyun kim #saeran choi #vanderwood #imagine post #anonymous #long post ///

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