#it's one thing to recognize a history it's another to say she's actively doing harm?

[hiiragi7]

(i agree with your stance btw on the subject i just also want to throw my two cents in somewhere without actively being In the 'course)

i think it should also be a good idea to like... discuss the fact that she DEFINITELY should not have used said slur in this discussion while admitting she doesn't entirely understand the heaviness of it. like, i think that also puts a little into perspective her choice on why she compares transness to systemhood so frequently, because she doesn't really understand just How hard the trans community has it. i hope she can someday feel safe enough to enter the community (without a discourse lens, though, because god... please interact in communities without it JUST being fighting and arguing) and learn and educate herself and grow. MAYBE doing that will help her recognize why some arguments within syscourse are Like that i guess? (like, when people argue against comparing the two)

Honestly, I do not care much about whether Sophie can "technically" reclaim it or not, or how much she "understands" the trans community and trans issues, or how hard she has it - I believe that anyone, regardless of their history with being trans, can say hurtful things like this.

We see many, many trans systems every day drawing comparisons between being trans and being plural. I, myself, have in the past drawn these comparisons falsely as well.

For many systems, it seems like an easy comparison to make with a lot of surface-level similarities that can give off the impression that these two subjects can be easily swapped out for one another in discourse.

I do not believe that lack of experience with oppression has anything to do with it, really. If anything, I believe that experiencing oppression on the basis of being trans may make it even easier for someone to draw these comparisons between being trans and being plural, because that trauma may create associations where there are none, and see systematic oppression and internet discourse as one in the same based off of a few vague perceived similarities.

I do not want to theorize or speculate on how hard Sophie has it, or her experience or lack of with the trans community, or anything else. That feels inappropriate and irrelevant to me.

I just want her to stop comparing slurs and trans issues to syscourse.

I want her to stop speaking over others, such as those with CDDs, intersex people, people of color, and so on.

I want her to stop hurting people while making an attempt at radical inclusivity and blind validation, and listen to what people are saying during a discussion rather than making it about mocking the other person(s) or about "winning".

I wish she would acknowledge people and their issues more often instead of ignoring them or brushing them off when they come into a discussion in genuine good faith.

Any time I have had an issue with something that Sophie said and I tried to directly bring it up to her in a reblog and tried to explain myself calmly and reasonably, she has ignored me. Same for many others.

I do not wish any harm towards her, I wanted, each time, to have a genuine conversation. Yet it feels like if people are not outright ignored, their words are twisted, or they are vagued about.

That's my issue with Sophie. Not whether she can "technically" say a slur or not.

The slur discourse honestly misses the point to me. What matters to me is not that she said the slur (because who am I to make judgement calls about whether she is "allowed" to say it or not?), it is the context she said it in. She used the slur as an arguing point for a niche online debate about words that cannot and should not be compared to that slur, yet were compared in an attempt to win an argument.

That, to me, is the issue here.

[aux-squiggle]

The problem is that you're doing it too fast and in a way that upsets people, and you just don't understand that.

Is that not what they said to women asking for women's rights? Is that not what they said for the end of Jim Crow? Is that not what they said to every independence revolution in history?

I do understand. The issue is I don't care about upsetting people, I care about liberation. If you want to destroy oppression in an oppressive world, you will upset people.

Let me explain something, genuinely, because the core problem here is that we both recognize gender is an oppressive system, which is great.

Let's take for example a hypothetical trans woman because they're the most talked about in these debates. Masculine expectations aren't for her. She's more soft, not domineering, she doesn't want to be hard or scary or aloof or any of the other terrible shit the patriarchal masculine expectation wants of her.

That's great! If she wants to wear dresses and pumps and flowery perfume and all the cool stuff she's into which is considered traditionally feminine that is great!

The entire problem lies in calling this womanhood. Or calling this an expression of womanhood. It is not. Womanhood has nothing to do with what she's doing.

The rejection of expectations placed onto men is good, the acceptance of expectations placed onto women is bad. In calling herself a trans woman, she is saying her deviation from masculinity is itself part of womanhood. This is toxic! Because women are already expected, by the patriarchy, to deviate from masculinity (and thus, be feminine) in the first place.

Everything about the explanations about her gender identity reinforce misogyny. Even the very idea that womanhood is an internal experience is a patriarchal idea because men use this idea of internal experience to justify misogyny on a metaphysical level. For example, the idea of male and female brains is called scientific misogyny because the only reason those experiments were even undertaken was to prove women are neurologically inferior. Thankfully every neurosex experiment was debunked.

This entire thing follows in the reverse with trans men as well.

Saying deviating from the expectations for one's sex means they are actually the opposite sex does not break down those expectations, but actually rebuilds them in the first place. We can't head towards a gender singularity/gender abolition if people rebuild the oppressive walls by saying feminine = woman, masculine = man. They do not say it with words but with co-occuring actions. E.g saying they're expressing their womanhood by acting feminine, or saying they're expressing their manhood by acting masculine.

Radfems do not want to take away self expression in that we do not want to require people wear certain clothes, have a particular personality, hairstyle, or anything else. We do not want males to have to be masculine, and we do not want females to have to be feminine. Any sex can be any expression or combination of expressions, that's wonderful.

Gender is a very big part of self expression. You've gotta let people have that.

Not when it actively reinforces a system of oppression.

Imagine instead of gender this was about race, another made up concept that only serves to sort people into boxes based on their phenotypical features, and oppress them on same.

The white/black master/slave dynamic of the transatlantic slave trade for example is near-perfectly analogous to the male/female master/slave dynamic of the past 12,000 years of female oppression. In both cases the slavery continued long past it was made illegal (and tbh with male/female not only has it lasted a lot longer, it has never stopped).

In both cases the social ramifications are still rife through society and very harmful to the oppressed people.

Like women in general, black people were expected to be subservient and obedient. They were expected to be meek, a status symbol, less intelligent, and be happy with their labour. Like women, black people suffer a version of the Madonna-whore complex, where while simultaneously expected to be virtuous, they are treated with automatic suspicion and disdain. They are treated as lying, hypersexual, dirty, monetary cheaters/theives, disloyal, and worthy of punishment.

Femininity as a concept has had a lot longer to grow than noirphobia but every single aspect of it can be traced back to this Madonna-whore complex. From high heels (punishment, sexualized) to dresses (sexualized depending on style, comes from a belief of disloyalty because if a woman wears a skirt it's more difficult for her to run away/escape), makeup (hypersexualized depending on style, a sign of virtue by covering blemishes, status symbol, etc). You get the point.

Imagine if a white person, someone who is expected to be cruel and controlling to black people, intelligent, refined, etc for their whole childhood enjoyed things that are known stereotypes for black people (e.g kleptomaniac, likes fried food esp fried chicken, tans easily, has high sexual vitality etc) went and said these things indicated they are black on the inside?

If they did not claim to be black, these things could be weighed on their own. Of course stealing isn't great, but liking fried chicken, tanning easily, and being exceptional in bed are neutral things and actually serve to break down barriers of expectations onto white people. However the second they said these things mean they are actually a black person, they have neither broke down the barriers for white people and they have simultaneously reinforced harmful stereotypes against black people.

This is what happens when you allow the oppressor to claim they are the oppressed. You get horrific examples of oppression. In this case, the white person was viciously noirphobic and has set back progress for both white and black people, but black people feel it worst because they are actually the oppressed group.

Why is this different for gender? If our society had decided to invent race first and lord it around as a relevant part of self expression, we would be here having this same exact conversation but race and gender would be flipped. You would see the deep misogyny in my example and I would ask you why is misogyny bad but noirphobia ok, or even worse, why would a white person pretending to be a black person not be noirphobia?

So, why is a male person pretending to be a female person and expressing their "womanhood" via female stereotypes not misogyny?

The whole thing also occurs in reverse if a black person said they were a white person because they do not meet black expectations but they're personality fits into white ones. The black person of course is not the oppressor but has reinforced the system of oppression anyways.

So... You do realize you are by definition a terf, right?

are you sure you want to start talking about definitions

[septembersghost]

resident queer gal from past messages here, got called a "hetlor" (*nervously* what the fuck) and a homophobe today for saying literally anyone and everyone is allowed to use lavender in any symbolic way they want. there's not a straight hair on my head, bitches! NOBODY OWNS COLORS! I feel like it's insane to gatekeep who can or cannot reference a color! colors have so many meanings and symbols throughout history, as do flowers? no one can "own" that, especially in art, or is Taylor a Communist for using red? lmfao touching grass is not enough for people, it's beyond earth, they need to spend time on the ISS.

sincerely wish i didn't understand any words in this message, but you continue to be the funniest and most iconic message sender. 👑💜

anyway, i saw someone tell someone else that it would, in fact, be oppressive to the community or send a weird signal if she (the commenter) chose to carry lavender roses/have lavender bridesmaids dresses at her wedding (this woman led with, lavender is my favorite color, are you saying it would be homophobic to use it at my wedding to a man...and the answer she got was yes?! no one offline would ever think this, i do not believe most of the queer community would ever say this), and i'm just. i can't believe that we've come to fighting over inane stuff like this or reading nefarious meaning into harmless things. these are the loud outliers though - every queer person i saw responding was disagreeing with those outlandish takes.

lavender (the flower) has symbolized love and devotion for centuries (it's literally in song of songs in the bible). the color has so many meanings. one doesn't erase another, they're all distinct and special within their own context. in the case of this song, taylor told us exactly what it means already. and she isn't merely using lavender, she's using the entire phrase, "lavender haze," as a poetic description of romance and commitment in her life. there should be no debate about this and i'm gobsmacked that it's turned into one. it makes me quite sad actually. it's the opening track of the album and there are already comments slamming it/saying it will be awful? i expect it to be beautiful and i'm so excited to hear it.

thinking about my anon who responded to me about the wonderstruck/enchanted connection with that color scheme, and what's captivating me is the fact that enchanted is one fleeting, magical moment in time, but a temporary one, just this briefly shimmering thing, and the description she gave for lavender haze is the true version of that - finding something that's lasting and doing your best to stay in the beauty of it.

moreover - and this may be the most important point - i feel this arguing is missing, if not erasing, the value of art, particularly music, and how we make it a part of our own selves. taylor's songs are her experiences, her self expression, her life, so of course her intent should be considered and respected, but that's not where our connection to music ends. we can say, taylor wrote this song about her six year relationship, and this is how she explained it to us, while ALSO saying, and it makes me think of [a personal romantic relationship, a friend, a favorite fictional character, there are endless possibilities!], and both things are true!!! our interpretations can coexist with her original meaning. people dictating/projecting what they want onto her and getting mad at her when they're wrong is not at all the same as saying, "this makes me feel ___, this reminds me of ___ in my life." we personalize the music uniquely and that's wonderful! that's a transformative thing that we can enjoy and hold close ourselves while still seeing the merit of her intent and what she shared with us.

tl;dr i'm sorry that happened to you, it's frustrating to have people who don't even know you or your identity cutting it down, but you have the right to speak your mind when you want to!

eta: btw anon, "touching grass is not enough, spend some time on the international space station" is my new go-to for any and all internet drama

[i-like-eyes]

Ah yes, duos! Lemme just pull out a duo that hasn't been used yet....ahah! Kirby and Gooey! Those two! What's your opinion on it, if I may ask?

I feel similarly on the 3 so they share a Bingo board.

Out of all of Kirby’s “best friends” Gooey is my favorite. The fact that he’s made of the goopey evil stuff but is still a Kirby equiv can say so much. I don’t mean as like, a deep dive into these sphere’s mindsets, but it says so much about the themes. Anything can be made into a power for good with love and friendship, even the off spawn of evil incarnate can become as good as Kirby! Cheesey as hell but it’s great. The two would share one braincell together, and get into all sorts of trouble without realizing it. The fact they are roommates is so slept on omg. I know y’all love having characters adopt Kirby, but he’s an independent with his own house and should be recognized for meeting such a feat. I want to see the two discuss who’s doing house chores as they eat candy for breakfast. I want to see Kirby explain to Gooey that he’s gonna half to pay more in rent (they pay in Pokemon cards) if the hellish ecosystem Gooey spawned under Kirby’s bed for his nappy time starts to take over the rest of the house.

Kirby and Ribbon in comparison have a more distant relationship going on. Ribbon sees the Popstar guys less often than even Ado does, but they keep in touch through brick-shaped phones. Most people can handle Kirby’s rambles only so much, but Ribbon loves to listen and can rival his rambles in length. Ribbon has duties at the kingdom, so Kirby visits her often to hang out or help. I like to think Ribbon is another one of Kirby’s many besties, like he really likes Ado too but some of his friends make for better play dates than others. I don’t think there’s anything deep to it, after one adventure they sorta just *get* each other and share a lot of the same hobbies. I think their mutual crushes are cute, but I don’t find shipping characters that act 5 to be all that engaging so I can’t say I actively ship it. IDK, I hc plenty of crushes that go absolutely nowhere; either because I think the characters would like each other but I’m just not interested in further exploring the pair, or it’s just for the lulz. Kirby and Ribbon are just cutsey friends in my book.

Ribbon and Gooey, that’s more missed potential. I’d like to see any character that’s been harmed by Dark Matter react to Gooey. Perhaps Ribbon is especially hesitant to go near him because she has history his extended family. Gooey ofc means no harm and Ribbon is the type of character to get over her prejudice in the length of a sitcom episode. But Kirby would love for all his friends to get along and immediately introduce every house guest to the blob living under his bed. He would be so eager to introduce everyone he would forget the whole Dark Matter taking over the galaxy thing. After the initial debacle is clear Ribbon and Gooey would get along great, with some hiccups along the way. Share the same interests, but have to deal with the occasional culture clash.

It’s weird, I don’t love Shimomura’s characters individually but in terms of who Kirby interacts with those guys are who I want to see come back the most. The Dark Matter trilogy group of buddies always felt so genuine in their friendship. When one off characters like Taranza or Susie or whoever disappear forever, I’m upset I don’t see them again because I think they have potential to expand their character or at least make for fun stories. When the Animal Friends or other Shimo characters disappear now it’s like, nooooooo they were Kirby’s besties why are you tearing them apart!!!!!!! The DM trilogy guys by being reduced to cameos in current games, it unintentionally weakens the best friend status they had in their titles, and that’s a shame. Kirby would be emotionally and literally closer to his roommate Gooey than the likes of MK even. They have to explain why Magolor is not dead, or have Daroach reintroduce himself to Kirby for the sake of the player who might of missed SqSq and has no idea who this mouse man is. But the DM guys are just kinda chill like. Yup this Rick. He’s clearly a hamster. That’s it that’s his whole character. Point is I think DM trilogy dudes being more involved with main line stories would be much less intrusive than other characters. But I get they want the new characters to stand out, and have made the DM trilogy guys the mascots of their own games and can’t take that identity away.

[treesnutsandleaveswrites]

What Cannot Change

Pairing: The Bad Batch x Reader (Polyam)

Summary: You return to a part of your old life with Hunter and things take a turn

Warning: angst, violence, bye-bye Kamino :(, TBB spoilers i guess, Crosshair being an ass but what’s new?

Word Count: 5581

A/N: SEASON FINALE, sorry this is mostly episode dialogue based and I combined the last two episodes

pt xxi pt xxiii

XXXXXXX

Crosshair stalked through the forest, scanning every inch for you. Deep within him, Crosshair can feel anguish and worry for your well-being. He just got you back… he didn’t want to lose you again. He looked over the trodden soil and cursed to himself. Hunter was always the better tracker, enhancements or not.

“Sir, we’ve scanned the area, there are signs of a lifeform just north of here.” One of his troopers informed.

“Let’s move.” He ordered, walking towards the direction the trooper pointed. The others with him followed, scouting the terrain around them just in case the Batch came back for a surprise attack. After a bit of trekking, Crosshair flicked down his spy glass and scanned for you. Behind some trees, his system spotted your heat signature and he rushed over. You were helmetless, a small cut formed above your brow, but from what he saw you were fine. He looked around you and noticed the broken branches, which signified that the trees must have broken your fall enough for you to not break your whole body from the height you fell. He felt a sense of relief at the bottom of his heart, but he couldn’t show any sign of vulnerability. He eyed your helmet and walked over to it as the troopers placed you on a stretcher.

“What should we do with her?” His squad member asked.

“Bring her to our ship and have a medical droid tend to her. She’s coming to Kamino with us.” He instructed while looking at his reflection in the visor of your helmet. He didn’t recognize the person looking back at him...

“Yes, Commander.”

After a moment, he headed back to the shuttle to go visit the prisoner already waiting for him.

*******

He followed the trooper leading him to the detention level and once the doors slid open, he spoke, “Leave me. I’ll go alone from here.”

“Yes, commander. He’s just at the end.”

He gave the trooper a curt nod before stepping into the vast corridor and making sure the doors slid fully closed behind him. He strutted all the way to the end and eyed his older brother through his helmet before taking it off.

“I was hoping for the whole squad… but you’ll do just fine.”

“Lodestar,” Hunter finally spoke, “Did you find her?”

“She’s fine, already loaded onto the ship. Sedated. But she’ll wake up by the time we land.”

“What do you mean ‘by the time we land’?”

“You didn’t think I would keep you here in a cell, did you?”

Hunter said nothing while glaring at his vod. Crosshair pressed a button to lower the shield of the cell and tossed cuffs at Hunter.

“Put them on, then follow me.”

Hunter knew not to resist, so he did as ordered.

“Finally following orders.” Crosshair placed his helmet back on, “How… humorous.”

Hunter stood as the cuffs were secured, which caused Crosshair to walk in, grab his brother’s helmet, then pull out his blaster.

“Move.”

*******

Hunter was escorted into the storage part of the shuttle by two of Crosshair’s troopers and you were already there: unconscious and laid in a stretcher with your hands cuffed together. What concerned him most was the oxygen mask covering the bottom half of your face.

“Lodestar…” He rushed to you and pushed your hair back with his own cuffed hands. He looked to the troopers, “Is she gonna be alright?”

The troopers said nothing, looking to the durasteel wall across from them, which did something to Hunter’s nerves.

“Answer me!” He ordered as he pushed one of the troopers against the wall. The other held up their blaster.

“I suggest you settle down… our Commander doesn’t want you dead but maybe he’ll make an exception for the girl if you don’t obey us.” The trooper threatened. Hunter surrendered and backed into the wall, trying to be as close to you as possible. He knew Crosshair wouldn’t hesitate to kill him first before any harm came to you, but he couldn’t risk it. After minutes of waiting, the shuttle finally began to take off and leave Daro’s atmosphere, and to his sheer luck, Crosshair had decided to come visit him again. The durasteel doors slid open and his vod strutted in, helmetless.

“Where are we going?” Hunter asked simply.

Crosshair crouched down and grabbed the communicator in one of the utility pockets on his brother’s belt, “You’ll find out soon enough,” He hissed while activating the device, “And so will your squad.”

“Using my comm won’t work. They’ll know it’s a trap.”

“They’ll still come for you.” Crosshair stated as the doors opened again, but hesitated as he glanced your way. However, he shook off the desire to check on you and headed back to the ship’s cockpit.

He entered and turned to the pilot, “Did the medical droid make a report on the girl’s condition?”

“Yes, commander. He inputted it into the computer.”

Crosshair nodded shortly before turning to a small panel and accessing the ship’s files. He found the most recent medical file and looked over it meticulously. Oddly enough, it had your birth name on it, which confused him. He looked for any files on medical history and found one with Nala Se’s signature on it. He knew he had to open it. While reading through the files, he came to a shocking discovery. The sniper took a moment to make sure no one was watching him before inputting a small device into the panel and downloading the file then deleting it from the computer’s database.

“Did you find it, sir?”

“Yes.” He answered plainly before leaving the cockpit and holding onto the small handle above him due to the main hull not having any seats. How is he going to approach you about this?

It wasn’t long until the shuttle landed in Kamino. The sudden jolts from the ship woke you up leading you to groan softly. You tried to reach for your head with one hand, but raised your wrists to look and see the cuffs around them. You huffed and pushed the mask off your face before sitting up and seeing one of Crosshair’s troopers standing over you with their blaster at hand.

“Up. Now.” She ordered, which you complied to. As you stood, Hunter was standing with another trooper.

“Hunter.” You gasped.

He looked at you with a hint of relief in his eyes. You moved past the soldier and went to him, cupping his face gently.

“Are you alright?” You looked over him worriedly.

“I’m alright…” He whispered, “Are you?”

You nodded before looking over his soldier and seeing Crosshair himself standing there. You moved with one of the troopers’ rough assistance and took your place next to Hunter. Crosshair said nothing as he led you all off the shuttle to Kamino’s main hangar. You looked around, seeing multiple troopers and soldiers loading the shuttles residing on the platform.

“Move it.” A trooper nudged you with their blaster so you could follow.

The group continued to walk before stopping while a man with a few troopers stood in front of you.

“Where are the rest of them?” He wondered while examining you and Hunter.

“They’ll be here.” Crosshair stated, “We’ll intercept upon arrival.”

The man turned to look at Hunter and smirked, “So you’re the one they call “Hunter.” The destruction your squad caused on Ryloth caught my attention.” Then he looked at you, “and you’re the liberator… What's your name again? Ah, yes, Lodestar. You’ve been causing a lot of trouble even before the Empire began. Some of our Outer Rim allies have talked of you before. You cost them a lot of credits for the slaves you freed.”

You said nothing, giving him a hard stare.

“I leave this to you, Commander. Stay on schedule.” He insisted before you were led away.

You walked down the bright corridors. It almost hurt your eyes, but that didn’t bother you as much as the memories starting to flood back to you. It’s been a year since you’ve stepped foot on Kamino, and it didn’t feel welcoming at all.

“Where are all the regs?” Hunter asked.

“When did you start caring about them?”

“No Kaminoans either.” Hunter continued, “This facility is being decommissioned. You don’t seem too concerned.”

“Why would I be?” Crosshair wondered.

“Because the Empire will be phasing out clones next.” Hunter turned to his brother with urgency.

“Not the ones that matter.” Crosshair jabbed him with the blaster he was holding.

“If they could assign people numbers like they’re nothing, then why do you think you matter?” You instigated, “Clones used to choose names for themselves because they didn’t just want to be a number… a lifeless digit. Now people are signing up for them like droids in a factory. The Empire is gonna learn that they can’t chip people they didn’t make.”

Crosshair turned to you, “Who are you to say anything? They gave up their lives to fight for a cause. You gave yours up out of fear!”

You stayed silent while looking at his emerald visor, wishing you could see his eyes. All of you kept walking down the corridor until you arrived at a room with large holomaps displayed on the walls. You’ve only been in a room like this one time, and it was when you were first starting on Kamino as an educational aid. You remember standing before Nala Se, Prime Minister Lama Suu, and Jedi Master Shaak Ti as they asked you multiple questions. Your heart raced the same as when you first stepped into that room, but you don’t know if it was the nerves or the rising pain in your body.

“A ship was detected entering the system, but we lost them below scanner range.” The trooper already waiting there announced.

“It’s them.” Crosshair said, taking a seat in one of the chairs.

“I’ll notify the scouts.” The other trooper stated, but Crosshair interrupted.

“Don’t bother. They’ll come to us. They don’t leave their own behind, most of the time.” The sniper sneered.

“You tried to kill us. We didn’t have a choice.” Hunter insisted.

“And I did?”

You looked at Hunter, “Hunter…”

“There was nothing we could do, cyare.”

You examined your metamour and knew he was being genuine. At the time, there must’ve truly been nothing he could do to save his brother.

“Crosshair, I’ve seen what the Empire’s doing,” Hunter started, “Occupying planets and silencing anyone who stands against them. You know it’s not right.”

Crosshair stood to loom over his vod, “You still don’t see the bigger picture, but you will…”

“Can’t you see they’re using you? Because of that damn chip in your head?” You shook your head, “I’ve seen it. Been on the inside. People-people are dying! Dying for a cause they don’t even know about! If the Empire is so great, then why don’t they share with their people? That’s what caused the downfall of the Republic, is that what the Empire wants?” You winced, stumbling back slightly.

“Cyare.” Hunter grabbed a hold of your arms, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing. I’m okay.” You murmured, “It’s okay.”

“The fall. You’re not fully healed-”

An alarm started to go off.

“We have an unauthorized entry on platform 5.” One of the troopers announced.

“Right on schedule.” He sighed, “Time to go.”

You were pulled away from Hunter before being led to the training room. You could feel the burn in your legs as you arrived onto the fighting ground and Crosshair held your cuffs while holding a blaster to Hunter’s back. A small noise came from in front of you and the boys were raised into the room, surrounded by Crosshair’s troopers.

“And here we all are, together again.” He tossed Hunter’s comm, “You won’t be needing your weapons.”

They hesitated before Hunter gave them a curt nod before tossing their weapons in front of them.

“See? Following orders isn’t so difficult.” He looked around, “Where’s your little sidekick?”

“You think we’d bring her here?” Wrecker pawned, “We’re smarter than that!”

“Lying was never your strength, Wrecker.” Crosshair retorted, “Find the kid.”

“No-” You tried to pull away from him, “Don’t touch her!”

The trooper left and you looked at him, “Cross-”

“That’s enough.” He tugged you back to him, “Hold your positions.” He ordered the troopers.

“So this was your grand plan? Bring us here, and kill us?”

“If I wanted you dead, you would be. Not that it wouldn’t be justified. You betrayed everything we stood for. And for what? The Republic?”

“We’re loyal to each other. Not some Empire.” Hunter argued.

“You weren’t loyal to me.” Crosshair hissed, “I was one of you. You may have forgotten, but I haven’t. And it’s why I’m going to give you what you never gave me: a chance.”

You looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows. He then raised his hand as his communicator beeped.

“Sir, I’ve found the girl.”

“Send her on a shuttle off-world.”

“Crosshair, don’t.” Hunter ordered.

“It’s for her own good. And yours.”

“Omega belongs with us.”

“Living amongst fugitives where she’s in constant danger?” He scoffed, “You want to protect the kid, then let her go. Stop pretending to be something you’re not, Hunter. We’re not like the regs. We never have been. We’re superior. The Empire can’t protect the galaxy without strength. This is what we were made for. Think of all we could do… together.” He used Hunter’s knife to take off his cuffs, “We were brothers once… we can be again.” He pushed Hunter towards the others.

“Why would we trust you?” Hunter asked.

Crosshair held up his blaster and looked to his troopers, “Stand down.”

“Negative, commander.” One of the troopers said, but then Crosshair shot and it deflected, killing all the troopers. Crosshair undid your cuffs and let you go before taking off his helmet and walking towards Hunter.

“Does that answer your question? You all are meant for more than drifting through the galaxy. It’s time to stop running. Join the Empire, and you will have purpose again.”

You had fallen to your knees due to most of the energy having left your body from the pain, but you still watched him and the others.

“You really don’t get who we are, do you?” Hunter shook his head.

“Don’t make the same mistake twice. Don’t become my enemy.”

“Crosshair… We never were.”

An alarm went off, and the training droids started to rise into the training room. Hunter lunged at Crosshair, trying to get his blaster. You rushed towards the others, trying to ignore the pain. Tech pulled you with him so you both would have some cover.

“Why’d you activate the droids?” Wrecker called out to Tech.

“This was not my doing.” Tech stated. You grabbed one of the dead troopers blasters and started to shoot at the droids approaching. As you all fought, you eyed one of Crosshair’s troopers at the doors. She shot one of the droids before backing away and you tried to stop her with a non lethal shot, but it was no use. You continued to fight until everything died down and the Batch gathered, Omega rushing towards. They all glared at Crosshair and you watched their movements. Hunter raised his blaster and you immediately took action.

“Hunter, no!” You moved in front of Crosshair, “Stop!”

“Cyare…”

“Hunter, please.” You whispered, tears gathering in your eyes as you raised your blaster, “It’s his chip…”

“Sarad… put it down…” Crosshair muttered. You looked back at him, shaking your head, but he placed his hand on your arm to push it down.

“My chip was taken out a long time ago.”

Hunter spoke, “When?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes.”

“Cross, please.” You begged as Echo pulled you to him.

“This is who I am…” Crosshair stated.

Hunter took a moment, but before Crosshair could use his rifle to shoot any of you a stun blast came from another gun. The other turned to see you holding out a blaster while tears streamed down your face. You let out a small sob while Echo held you close, trying to comfort you.

Omega hugged Hunter, who looked down shameful, “Sorry, Omega. I know I promised you’d never have to come back here.”

“It’s okay.” She smiled.

“Hunter, three Venators are approaching the city, we need to leave now!” Tech informed. He nodded then took off Crosshair’s pack and rifle.

“Wrecker, grab Crosshair. He’s coming with us.” He went to you and grabbed your face, “Does it still hurt?”

“I can manage.” You whispered.

You all followed him quickly through the halls. The building started to shake and you all hesitated.

“Cmon!” Hunter ordered.

You arrived just outside, but everything was being destroyed.

“Back inside!” Hunter ordered. You urged Omega in and followed them.

“This way!”

You all rushed through Kamino, but then the building started to collapse.

“We need to find cover!” Hunter cried, but then there was a blast that threw you all back and made your ears ring. Suddenly, everything tilted and everyone was sliding while debris started to fall around you. You were stopped by some debris along with Omega, AZI, and Crosshair. Your vision was hazy and your ears were still ringing, before you knew it, the doors slid closed whcu separated you four from the others. You must have blacked out because a light was shining into your face, which made you open your eyes.

“Lodestar!” Omega cried.

“Omega.” You sat up, pushing the debris off of you with her help. Water was surrounding you all, which caused your instincts to kick in.

“You okay?” You cupped her face.

She nodded, “Yeah, but Crosshair is stuck!” She pointed her torch in his direction, “I’ve already told Hunter. I think he’s gonna get the door unstuck!”

You nodded, rushing over the Crosshair and trying to lift the debris off of him. He started to wake up and looked around.

“Greetings CT-9904, you survived the aerial bombardment but are now moments away from drowning.”

Crosshair groaned, “Get this off me!”

“AZI! Help!” Omega pleaded while trying to get the debris off.

The water started to rise while you were still trying to get unstuck.

“Omega, come here get to higher ground! I’m gonna try to get it off him from under the water!”

She nodded, trudging to take your place while you dove under the water. She must have ordered AZI to help you because he arrived by your side.

“Omega will try to break it with her weapon!” AZI said, the water muffling his voice slightly. You nodded, using your strength to move it. A few blasts entered the water which helped get the debris off Crosshair. You resurfaced, gasping for breath while Omega helped Crosshair out of the water.

“C’mon! We have to get the door open!” Omega announced, which caused you all to follow her towards the doors. You pulled against it, seeing it slightly open with Wreckers knife. Suddenly, it started to open and sucked you all out of the room. You were caught by one of them and coughed up some water while leaning against them. Crosshair stood and looked at his brothers.

“What have you done?”

“The Empire opened fire on the city. We weren’t gonna leave you behind.” Hunter explained.

“We don’t have time for this. We have to get topside before the whole structure submerges.” Tech interfered.

“If you want to stay here and die, that’s your call.” Hunter retorted before leading you all down the dark corridor. You rushed through one of the bridges that overlooked the production tubes. Omega had stopped to look over it, which caused you all to stop.

“Omega, come on. We have to go!” Wrecker insisted, which caused her to nod.

You all kept going until there was another explosion and the corridor started to tilt.

“Hold on to something!” Hunter called out as everyone started to slide. He just so happened to be next to you, so he grabbed your waist tightly and held you while you started to hang. After a moment or two, the building came to a thud and you were all back on the durasteel floor.

“I believe we have landed on the ocean floor. There is no way to accurately calculate the damage. Most of the facility must be-” Tech reeled off, but then the building started to jolt and water came from the top, “compromised.”

“We need to get to a space that’s more secure.” Hunter said.

“Follow me.” Tech insisted.

You all rushed before you all arrived to the most familiar thing to you in Kamino.

“Ironically, our old barracks is one of the few compartments habitable, albeit temporarily.”

“This is our room?” Wrecker groaned, “What happened to it?”

“At least the smell’s gone.” Echo commented.

“Check it out. Our board’s still here!”

Crosshair glanced at it, “All those missions together, and you threw it away.”

“We made a choice, and so did you.” Hunter remarked.

“Soldiers follow orders.”

“Blind allegiance makes you a pawn. A real leader protects his squad.”

As they squabbled, you collapsed against one of the bunks, which just so happened to be Crosshair’s.

“Lodestar!” Echo rushed to you, “What is it? Are you injured?”

You couldn’t find the words as you leaned into him.

“AZI! Do a scan!” Omega ordered as she went to you.

AZI took a moment before speaking, “There are multiple contusions and two broken ribs. It seems like they were already tended to, but daily medicinal doses are needed to help the healing process.”

“It’s from her fall.” Omega realized.

“We have to get out of here.” Echo looked to Hunter, who nodded.

“We landed on the underwater tunnel!” Omega pointed it out, “If we use it to reach the base post, we could get back to the Marauder!”

“Accessing the tube will be… challenging.” Tech stated.

“Better than staying here.” Echo helped you up.

“We better try!” Omega insisted.

Crosshair sneered, “She’s calling the shots now?”

“You have a better idea?” Hunter nudged him while leading you all out of the barracks.

“My scans indicate the tunnel is right below this maintenance deck. AZI says, with a precise weld to maintain an airtight seal, this might work.”

“What do you mean, might?”

You leaned against the wall, holding your side. Hunter went to you, lifting your helmet off your head.

“Hey…” He whispered, cupping your face gently, “We’re almost there.”

“I know…” You smiled weakly, “If anything, you could leave me.”

He shook his head, “Don’t joke like that.”

You hummed before hearing a thud and looking to see AZI hovering over the whole he’s made. After a bit of observing, he called out.

“The tunnel is clear!”

You all looked at each other before entering. Hunter helped you down while Wrecker caught you gently.

“Got you, ad’ika.”

He set you down gently as everyone else made their way into the tunnel. You all walked carefully along the tunnel, but Crosshair said something which caused Wrecker to snap.

“Y’know, if it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Something on your tiny mind, Wrecker?”

“All that time, you didn’t even try to come back.” He sighed, “We still would’ve taken you…”

“Let it go, Wrecker. Crosshair has always been severe and unyielding. It is his nature. You cannot change that. He cannot change that.” Tech explained.

“Why are you defending me?”

“I am not. Understanding you does not mean that I agree with you.” Tech stated simply.

Wrecker had made his way to you as you leaned against the transparisteel, “Let’s get you off your feet.” He said gently before lifting you into his arms.

“Let’s keep moving.” Hunter muttered.

You all tried to move on, but then there was some distant roaring.

“AZI, these tunnels are protected, right?” Omega wondered.

“Only when the power is operational, which it is not.”

Suddenly, a large creature approached the tunnel.

“Run!”

Wrecker rushed with you still in his arms.

“Restoring the power should deter the creature! Try to stay alive!” AZI called as he went ahead. As you all rushed up the tube, the creature started to bite at the transparisteel, making it shake slightly. Suddenly, some lights came on and the creature retreated. Water started to fill the tunnel, but then it was blocked off by some durasteel doors. You all jumped down, panting as AZI looked you all over. After a bit of rest, you made your way up the end of the tunnel and arrived to a large room. Hunter took his helmet off and shined his torch.

“What is this place?”

“Nala Se’s private lab,” Tech started, “Omega said this is where our mutations were manipulated and enhanced.”

Crosshair asked, “How does she know?”

“Because she was there. Omega was created before us. Technically, she is older than we are.”

Hunter and Crosshair looked slightly shocked, but you simply caressed her hair back with a smile. You all moved further into the lab, then Wrecker spoke.

“That’s gonna be a problem.”

You all looked to see the tunnel had collapsed completely.

“That was our only way to the Marauder.” Omega whimpered.

You all decided to sit back and take some time to relax. You tried to rest and ignore the pain in your body.

“Aha!” AZI exclaimed before hovering over to you, “A small dosage of pain medication. This will dampen the pain for an hour or so, Ms. Lodestar.”

“Thanks, AZI.” You whispered before he injected you, causing you to gasp slightly.

“Careful, droid.” Crosshair sneered as he made his way to you.

“Apologies. I will heed a warning next time.” AZI said before going to Omega.

You looked up at him as he crouched down and held out a small device.

“There’s something you should see.”

You nodded, gesturing for him to sit beside you. He hesitated before sitting next to you and bringing you closer to him. You laid your head on his shoulder as he opened a file on a datapad he must’ve found lying around. You saw it had your birth name on it and furrowed your brows.

“What is this?”

“A personal file from Nala Se.”

You shook your head, “This should’ve been transferred to the Republic’s database, where I had deleted all files on me.���

“This is different… just read it.” He insisted.

You nodded and looked at it, then you started to read outloud.

“Our newest educational aid, now assigned as Subject #9910, has requested a birth control implant. After running multiple tests, we will grant her request, but have concluded that she is the perfect subject for our new project.”

“Project?” Echo wondered as everyone listened in.

You went on, “Our trials for the natural reproduction of enhanced clones will start when Subject #9910 is assigned to a clone squadron…”

“Natural reproduction?” Omega asked.

“Subject #9910 has been assigned as a communications officer to Clone Force 99, our enhanced clone unit. When the time is right, we will remove her birth control and let the trials commence…” You looked at Crosshair, who gestured for you to go on, “Subject #9910 has been injured, which has delayed the chip removal…” YOu read on to find some shocking records, “Subject #9910 has initiated intimacy with CT-9904… CT-9901… CT-9903…”

“That’s all when we were on Kamino.” Tech remarked, “They were watching you…”

“I-” You tried to say something, but shook your head.

“After Nala Se believed you were terminated, she ended the Natural Reproduction project.” AZI announced, “She stopped looking for any further candidates.”

You got up, backing away from them.

“Cyare…” Hunter whispered.

“I-I thought I would be safe from the Kaminoans… from their tubes and their tests…”

“Darling-”

“What were they gonna do if I did get pregnant? Were they… were they gonna take the baby and then run tests on it?”

“Sh…” Crosshair stopped you as he noticed your breathing quicken. You leaned into him, trying to fight back tears.

“We really need to get out of here.” Echo groaned.

The Batch started to devise a plan while you sat alone with your thoughts. You eyed Hunter and Crosshair bickering again before Crosshair walked away while Omega followed. After a few minutes, a hand was placed on your shoulder, which made you look to see Omega. She smiled gently before briefing you on the plan. Then leading you to the others. She went off with AZI to set some charges as you all prepared the capsules.

“Ugh, I can barely fit in this thing?” Wrecker groaned.

“Quit complaining. At least you’re not doubled up.” Echo retorted. You rubbed his shoulder gently.

“We’ll be in and out.” You reassured him. He gave you a small nod before bumping his helmet against yours endearingly. You made your way into a capsule, waiting for Omega.

“The explosives are set.” Omega said, getting into the capsule.

“Alright, seal them up.” Hunter ordered.

You all closed the capsules and prepared for the charges to set off. You nodded to Omega for her to push the button, which she did. Water came flooding into the room and caused your capsules to move with the current it created. You looked around, seeing that you were out of the lab and floating to the surface. AZI moved meticulously to assist your capsules.

“You’re doing great, AZI.” Omega said, shining her torch around. Then a piece of debris fell onto your capsule, pushing you down. AZI rushed to your aid and you could see his lights flickering.

“AZI?” You called. He hesitated before using his laser torch to cut the debris. You watched as the debris floated away and then AZI pushed the capsule.

“Omega! Lodestar! What’s happening?” Hunter asked on comms.

“Got caught on some debris. It’s okay, AZI’s got us.” Omega answered, looking back at the droid, “Don’t give up, we’re nearly there!”

“Your path is clear.I have completed my objective.” AZI said before shutting down.

“No!”

You watched before looking at her, about to tell her you have to keep going, but then you thought of D-5. You cupped her face and nodded your head in approval.

“We’re going after AZI!” Omega insisted before opening the capsule. You both swam down, but then some debris got in your way and took you up to the surface. You took off your helmet and gasped once you surfaced.

“OMEGA!” You called frantically, but Wrecker grabbed ahold of your arm, “No! I have to go back for her!” You argued as he lifted you into his capsule. Crosshair stood with his rifle and loomed over Hunter before shooting into the water. Omega was lifted out of the water with AZI and Hunter helped her into their capsule. The others had pulled out their blasters and pointed it towards Crosshair, who tossed Wrecker his rifle. You watched as he sat down before helping Wrecker paddle the capsule. You all arrived at the platform and watched as Tipoca City burned down.

“It's… all gone.” Omega murmured sadly.

“We should leave before the Empire’s scouts show up.” Tech insisted.

“You coming with us?” Wrecker turned to Crosshair.

“None of this changes anything.” Crosshair said simply, which hurt your heart slightly.

“You offered us a chance, Crosshair. This is yours.” Hunter explained.

“I made my decision.”

“We want different things, Crosshair. That doesn’t mean that we have to be enemies.”

Crosshair turned away, which caused the others to head towards the ship. You stayed back, waiting for Omega as she looked over the city.

You reached for her shoulder, “C’mon…”

She looked at you before nodding and heading towards the ship, then she stopped, “Thank you for saving AZI.”

“Consider us even.” Crosshair responded.

“You know… you’re still they’re brother. You’re my brother too…”

Crosshair stayed silent as Omega went to the ship. He turned to look at you as you stood there.

“I never said it back…” You started, which caused him to furrow his brows. You looked down, “In the hotel room, before I left with Rex… you told me you loved me. I never got to say it back.” Tears started to pool in your eyes, “And… and I hope you know that I didn’t leave because I didn’t love you, Cross. I didn’t leave because I didn’t love any of you. I… I was selfish. That’s why I left. The kaminoans wanted me dead and after what I had said to the Chancellor… I knew I would be an enemy to the Republic… and the Empire.” You hesitated, looking back up at him, “I know it's too late, but I don’t want you to forget that I love you. I love you… and I know you won’t change your mind because of it and I’m not going to force you onto that damn ship.” Tears spilled wildly, “I-” You stepped towards him and cupped his face cautiously, but he melted into your touch, shutting his eyes. You couldn’t say anymore and he knew that. You moved and placed your lips against the corner of his, not wanting to feel the heartbreak of your lips touching for the first time in a long time but also for the last time once again. You pulled away and rushed into the ship, being caught into an embrace by Hunter, who looked back at his brother as the hatch closed and the Marauder took off.

XXXXXXX

Taglist:

@darkangel4121 @lightning-wolffe @alucas528 @rintheemolion @shadowfoxey @butch-medusae @gabile18 @incandescentlywarm @echo-is-worth-more-than-2000 @spidercrush3

[stubbornjerk]

Why people keep telling you to block them if you support Pholo (Penumbra Edition)

Or: why jitterbug-juno really deactivated

I love when people categorize this as fandom wank. Really makes you feel like you’re putting the onus on either side of the conversation.

I’m making this post not because I want to stir up spoiled milk, but because I want it out there that this wasn’t a purity culture war.

The TL;DR version of this is that fans of color tried to tell Rab (prev. jitterbug-juno) not to post her Omegaverse (or A/B/O) fic. And instead of taking the L, she posted it on Ao3 and deactivated.

But, if you want context, well, buckle in. CW for mentions of racism and transphobia.

What did jitterbug-juno do?

Before I get into this I do want it out there that I will not be linking Rab’s fic, but I will show you this screenshot of the summary of it.

[ID: It is a screenshot of a fic, “As You Are” by Pholo.

Summary: Peter can hide his scent glands behind cologne; makeup; concealer pads. He can quash his heats with suppressants. He can divert the urge to nest and fawn.

But he can’t feign another gender’s subvocals. He lacks the anatomical capacity. Mag taught him to distract from his silence with fast, flashy words. For longer heists he relies on social convention. Traumatic mutism is uncommon, but remarked upon by enough war vets and soap operas to be widely recognized. Peter’s marks assume he’s been harmed long before they assume he’s a closeted omega. It would take quite the backwater brute to ask why he doesn’t murmur or chuff or growl.

On the 'Blanche there are the usual furtive glances. Juno makes clear to Peter that should he ever want “to talk about what happened,” he’ll be there to listen. The gesture annoys Peter more than comforts him.

‘Nothing happened,’ he wants to scream. ‘There’s nothing to talk about!’

There are 14 comments, 85 kudos, and 11 bookmarks /end]

You decide what you’re doing with that information, but honestly, I’d rather you don’t give it anymore engagement than it deserves.

There was a period earlier this June (yes, even though it’s only the 10th, at time of writing) when Rab was posting snippets of the aforementioned fic on her blog and tagging it appropriately, putting it in the attention of pretty much the entire Penumbra fandom.

What’s Omegaverse or a/b/o and why is everyone so against Rab for it

If you know what Omegaverse is, I don’t have to tell you why it’s controversial. If you don’t know what Omegaverse is, well, Fanlore said it best:

a kink trope wherein some or all people have defined biological roles based on a hierarchical system, with the terms originating from animal behaviour research. There may be werewolf, knotting, or other animalistic elements involved, or the characters may be otherwise purely human.

The term is generally written with slashes (a/b/o). Many fans, particularly ones from Australia and New Zealand, are uncomfortable seeing the term without slashes because it is also an Australian slur for aboriginal people.

I won’t get into the history or the heaps and tons of other discourses (mostly about fictional male pregnancy, homophobia, transphobia, sexual assault, etc.)  that go on within that. We’re here specifically on Rab v. Penumbra fans of color and we’re staying there.

Anyone who’s been in Penumbra enough to realize that everyone draws the Junoverse characters in a certain way knows that a) Juno is black, b) Nureyev is Asian, and c) as a fan you have to be aware of what you’re subjecting or saying about either of them because of the political repercussions that come with it.

And despite that, Rab proceeded to write Peter Nureyev, a gender nonconforming gay Asian male character that is widely headcanon’d as trans, into a fic using a kink trope that relies heavily on animal behavior.

Unlike most people new to fandom, Rab is aware of what Omegaverse is and is very much white. She is (and if she isn’t, should be) aware of the racist undertones that writing him in would get.

I couldn’t get a screenshot of what snippets Rab was sending out into the ether, seeing as a majority of my friends would rather not have seen any at all (I have all of the usual tags blocked so I wouldn’t have seen it either way), but needless to say, Rab got attention for it. Both positive and negative.

Anne (@hopeless-eccentric) even posted a satirical fic, in the odds that Rab was just writing this thing to be “the first” to write Omegaverse fic in the Penumbra tags.

But, I’m assuming more than one fan of color came into Rab’s inbox and messaged her about it, but someone I know (who would like to remain anonymous) was gracious enough to take a screenshot before he sent his in and let me use it for this post:

[ID: A message to jitterbug-juno about to be sent by a sender whose name is censored with a black bar. His messages says:

“as someone who is a person of color i think the nature of the fic you are writing right now is extremely racist and attributing animal characteristics to lgbt people of color is not at all appropriate, especially when you are someone who is white. i have to ask you to not publish this fic and to reflect as to why you would want to write this in the first place, these tropes are extremely harmful and”

There are 33 characters left to write into the message. /end]

I can’t speak for whoever else sent asks about the fic she was writing. If anyone was actually not-so-gentle with her, well, minorities don’t really owe it to you to be gentle about what they can tell is bigotry-tinged behavior.

But, the message was clear: this is different from your garden variety, lily white straight male character m/m kink fantasy. This is an actual queer Asian character that a lot of queer Asian people feel attached do. Do not post the fic.

What happened next: the beginning of the end

The next morning, I woke up to most of my friends being frustrated by this post on Rab’s account:

[ID: Dated 5 June, a post by jitterbug-juno:

“Gonna leave the fandom for a while. Wishing you all well.”

The tags say the following: not sure if i’ll be back, thank you so much to everybody who’s read my fics, and who’s sent asks or engaged with my art or any of that, you’re amazing and I’m sending love /end]

That... was not what fans of color wanted, but it was definitely an action they took. Some celebrated, as they were very much wary of Rab for having caused much of the same category of drama in fandoms like Voltron: Legendary Defenders and Warrior Cats. This also meant that she was probably not going to post the fic either.

Some, myself included, were relatively pissed, as they’d wanted even just the measly bit of accountability. An apology or an acknowledgement of having been called out in private and that they’ll take time to consider why. But instead we got Rab leaving in the face of fans of color telling her not to post her Omegaverse fic.

Well. The next day...

[ID: Dated 6 June. A post by jitterbug-juno titled, “Well... that was short-lived”

“I gave the situation a lot of thought yesterday. The reaction to my omegaverse previews made me figure I should leave the fandom. It seemed like the safest option.

But you know what?

Hell.

I don’t want to leave. The fic discusses the tropes of omegaverse and I spoke to several POC on Twitter, and I’m going to post it with plenty of tags so people can avoid it if they wish. I’m not going to be chased out of this space.

Thank you to everyone who sent messages yesterday. I shouldn’t have made that post about leaving. It was really reactionary. I’m okay and I appreciate your support so much.

(bolded on the post) To those who are angry and uncomfortable with me: Please block me. If you’re going to talk about this fic on Tumblr and Twitter– and this may sound odd– PLEASE NAME ME as Jitterbug-juno or Pholo. Don’t vague me. That way people who don’t want to see this discourse can add my name to their block lists.“ /end]

That certainly was short-lived, she wasn’t kidding.

This got a lot of outrage. Again, the fic is up on Ao3 and she has not taken it down. A lot of POC were pissed and I didn’t see a single fan of color actively support what she was doing, at least, not in my friend group. Everyone started making those posts to block them if you liked the fic or Rab’s content in general, in accordance to what Rab wanted.

Perseus (@mraudiodrama) noticed/pointed out that Rab deleted the part where she said she spoke to several POC about releasing her fic, as well as the part where she said she refused to be chased out of the fandom. This was an incredibly pointed detail to edit out, according to some.

[ID: A screenshot of jitterbug-juno's last post taken 11:00PM. Much of it is the same except the following bolded words are removed: "The fic discusses the tropes of omegaverse and I spoke to several POC on Twitter, and I’m going to post it with plenty of tags so people can avoid it if they wish. I’m not going to be chased out of this space." /end]

That same day, Rab deleted her blog. I actually caught this one on tape, believe it or not.

[ID: A screen recording taken at 12:01 PM of someone scrolling down jitterbug-juno's account. The posts and asks about Omegaverse and her post about leaving and coming back are conspicuously absent. /end]

Initially, I thought she deleted all mentions of it. I wanted to see firsthand if the rumors about her deleting portions of it were true. If she added things where she was saying that she wanted to write it because she was autistic and wanted Nureyev to be autistic too, regardless of the numerous QPOC telling her not to do it.

Instead, it turned out, she deleted her blog.

And now, we're here. The fic is still up. Her blog is down. Rab's public Twitter account @nataclinn is quiet about this. Her @cushfuddled Twitter account is on private after her run-in with the Warrior Cats fandom, according to a friend. And her Tumblr @cushfuddled account has nothing but memes.

Again, I didn't make this post to stir up drama. I wasn't even obsessively making this post as a call-out because she isn't in the fandom anymore. I just want it out there that this isn't a purity culture thing that got out of hand in a fandom as niche as Penumbra. This was a case of someone being called out and failing to acknowledge it before running away. And I want all that out of the way before I say:

If you are on Rab's side of this debacle, I, a queer person of color, want nothing to do with you either.

[cinnamonest]

Yandere Profile - Izuku Midoriya/Deku (BNHA/MHA)

I'm showing up in tags again yay! Time to repost this

Finally I am dishing out MHA content and kicking off with one of my favorite boys nice

TWs: Fem!Reader, Yandere, kidnapping, delusional mindsets, infantilization, mentions of violence/mutilation, mentions of murder, mentions of fake suicide, n//s//fw themes/mentions/brief content, mentions of virginity/sex shaming, dark content, mentions of a high school setting

TWs (n//s//fw section/below the cut): noncon, brief dealing with/mentions of past sex trauma, generally depraved/dark content, pain content, infantilization What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

High key delusional. (I think everyone I've seen in the yan bnha community agrees on this lmao.) But really, he acts that way because he's not naturally that way - he has to make an active effort to lie to himself and to you in order to believe his delusions.

Obsessive. I mean, look at what this boy does to his heroes. You bet he has an entire notebook dedicated to your existence. It starts off simple, an entry regarding your quirk if you have one, or perhaps he feels compelled to write a simple entry about someone he met if you don't. Gradually it turns into a log of all his encounters with you, his observations of your day, his thoughts about you, a strict schedule of what you do. The things you do while he watches - you KNOW the boy is a stalker. He has a folder in his phone gallery of just quick snaps he's taken of you walking around, smiling, laughing, looking at your phone, lots of pictures from the back, sleeping at your desk, and a few more risky ones. The time he accidentally walked into the wrong shower room after a class and just happened to catch you getting out of the shower. Slightly blurry pictures through the window of the girls dorm of you getting dressed, laying in bed, sitting at your desk doing homework. Dark, barely visible images of your sleeping form just barely illuminated by moonlight. You really ought to lock those windows.

He's on the border where he's just comfortable enough to talk to you, but far too nervous to ever confess, or spend as much time with you as he'd like. Of course, preferably he could spend every waking moment by your side, but, he's aware enough to know you need space. He's fine with that. He's technically with you anyway, you just don't know it. And really, he likes stalking, genuinely. He likes the feeling of knowing you're unaware of his presence, the thrill of risk and the giddy satisfaction he gets knowing this is your candid, non-performing self, he can see what you're really, truly like when you think you're alone, and it's just so cute.

Particularly for a quirkless, civilian darling, or if darling's quirk has no combative purposes, he'll be much more protective. He's one to have the delusion that you're too fragile for the world, and that you're inevitably bound to get hurt, it's not safe out there. You're like a little kitten, one that's just a little too curious for her own good, doesn't know how big and bad the world is, how people who want to hurt her are out there. Kittens stay inside all day where they belong, safe to be the soft little housepets they are.

History/info stalker as well. He will find out everything about your past and you in general - memorize things like your height, birthday, grades, blood type, etc. Will also deep-dive through any social media you have, even managing to find anonymous ones, probably by sneaking through your phone as your sleep. He'll learn about your family, how well they treat you, gauges how hard they'll search for you. He'll want to know about any history you have regarding relationships and sex, too. He'll be disappointed to learn you've ever been with and done things with someone else, but that's ok. Everyone makes mistakes, and he can forgive that.

Massive savior complex. This goes double if he did save you from a situation -- he's literally your hero. And he expects that you should at least be grateful enough to acknowledge that. If your family or boyfriend or past boyfriends were abusive or unkind in any way, if you were generally struggling in school or work, if you had any sort of bad life, it will also emphasize this, and he feels he saved you from all of that, and is giving you a better life. And he'll remind you, frequently.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

Inevitable, but he's a planner and he takes some time. He's smarter than he seems and he will formulate an extensive plan. If we're talking senior Izuku, well, he's limited, as he only has the dorms and his old apartment where his mother lives. He's likely to wait it out until post-graduation, wait until he gets his own place, which will now be as soon as possible. Whenever you plan to start university or hero work or whatever, well, you'll never actually make it there.

As for how, it depends on your trust. If he's managed to get close to you as he hopes to, at least to the point of friendship, he'll likely just invite you over, one last time before you go your separate ways in life. You walk right into your own imprisonment, not thinking anything is off when he locks the door behind you. If not, if he was never that close to you, or you turn down his offer, well, he'll just do it the old fashioned way. You're a naive little thing, and you'll inevitably be walking by yourself at night at some point for whatever reason, and he knows how to make chloroform. He may look small-ish, but he has a deceptive strength even without the use of OFA, you can't actually hope to overpower him. If he can't catch you out walking, well, once again, you really ought to lock those windows.

Now, a hero Deku, a few years into his 20s and quickly gaining popularity, that sees some poor little civilian getting hurt, he'll just use the excuse of taking you to get help. Clearly you've suffered a concussion, you're not in your right mind, and if you pick up on what's going on and try to call for help, he'll just say so to passersby. People have no reason to distrust him, he's a well-reputed, extremely popular hero, he would never harm someone. So when he says he's just taking you to get medical assistance, no one bats an eye.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

Like some of my previous yans, he's one that will intentionally set up escape opportunities just to see how well your conditioning is going. Leave the door unlocked, but sit and wait outside. Make the bonds just a little bit too loose to see if you wiggle out of them. Leave things that could be used as lockpicks to see how smart you are. It's all a test, though, don't worry. He'll be waiting right outside to make sure you don't actually end up going out into the world and getting yourself hurt. He'll be disappointed in you, but don't worry, he's not too mad - it's just his way of knowing you don't understand yet.

Generally, it's tight security. He's one to invest in electronic security -- a shock collar, tracking anklets, cameras that sense motion, a bracelet that tracks your heartbeat, and all of which send him notifications to his phone if anything is out of the ordinary. The cameras he'll be able to watch a live stream of at any time - he's gotten to where he eats lunch alone in his office so that he can just kick back and watch you.

Now, he has something of an urge to show you off, he would love nothing more than for the world to see what a cute little wife he has, but he restrains this urge for your safety. He has a lot of enemies, and he can't have them knowing about his weakness, he can't stand the thought of you getting hurt because of him. So don't expect to even have anyone who knows about you to rely on.

As for attempts... Should you manage to get through all his measures, well, clearly that means they weren't enough. He's another yandere that, you probably shouldn't try unless you are one hundred percent certain you'll succeed, because if not you likely won't get another chance. Security measures will bump up, and he'd likely implant something in you - a tracking chip beneath the skin, deep enough you can't hope to cut it out. That way, even if you get out into the city, he can easily find you and save you again. If you seriously manage to escape for a while, he doesn't handle it well emotionally, to be honest, he might get pretty upset, but again, everyone makes mistakes, so if you apologize -- and you will, even if he has to resort to unpleasant measures to force one out of you -- he'll forgive you.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

Izuku is significantly smarter than he seems, much like his strength. Despite his deluded nature, he still recognizes that, since she's too dumb to comprehend her own safety, she's likely to try and pull tricks to get back out of her cage. He's perceptive and can read facial expressions and tone of voice very well, so if you're a good liar there's about a 75% chance he'll pick up on it -- anything else and he definitely will.

He's likely to go along with it, just to expose your lies or plan in the end. He likes giving you the humiliation because it will hopefully make you even less likely to do it in the future.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

Izuku goes out of his way to keep you well-entertained, but it's all very... infantilizing. For example, he gets you streaming services and the like, but puts parental content locks on everything so you basically can only consume extremely g-rated type of content. He doesn't want you watching anything violent, or dirty or vulgar, it's not suiting such an innocent little thing. He won't even let you watch the news, unless occasionally forcing you to watch something that he knows is being aired about him, in which case he wants you to see so you're reminded of how good he is. He'll also be able to see your search history, and know if you tried to look up anything he wouldn't approve of, especially things like lockpicking or "how to disable human shock collar," you know, that sorta thing. Or more... adult things, which are also blocked. Besides, you have him, you don't need that.

He'll let you cook, but only in his presence, can't have you getting hurt without him there to fix it. You'll probably start off restrained to a bedroom -- a very heavily safety-proofed one -- in the beginning, gradually earning the privilege of going to other rooms once you've proven you can be trusted.

He'll also really try to get you almost anything you want, really. Clothes, books, hobby supplies, anything he thinks will make you happy and adjust more easily. You can use this to your advantage, really, if you're willing to settle in for your new lifestyle.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Of course, besides the obvious no escaping, no outside contact, and no attacking him, he's actually still got a lot of behavioral rules. Much like the content he allows you to consume, he expects the same from you -- no cursing, no drinking, no vulgarity. No handling knives while he's gone, and he'll know if you do, from the motion-sensing cameras that will alert him of your presence in the kitchen. He's one to humiliate you. Specifically, if you've proven you can't behave at all, or tried to really fight him, he'll get you a nice big cage to live in until you have learned your lesson. The kind they make for big dogs, short enough to force you on all fours, complete with bedding, a padlock, and a water bowl for you to drink from. You'll stay there until you can understand what you did wrong and are ready to grovel at his feet about it. During that time, he'll also ignore anything you say, acting like you're not there.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

He can't risk anything that would damage his reputation and career, so murder is off the table. Unless, of course, it's not murder, but rather a sort of, how do they call it... suicide by hero. There was no other choice, really. It's sad to have a kill on his record, but people understand that sometimes these things happen.

This changes if someone has hurt you in any way -- in that case, he's not hesitating to actually kill someone. The thought of someone hurting his little treasure is infuriating, not only at them, but at himself for not coming into your life and saving you sooner. He'll be sure they know exactly why they're dying, that they spend their last moments begging for forgiveness for what they did to you.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

Easier than you'd think. Izuku doesn't like his delusions being challenged since, again, he has to put in effort to believe them in the first place. If you're being bratty and having tantrums he won't let it slide - even the slightest step out of line is dealt with to ensure you'll at least hesitate before doing it again. If you are the bratty type and blatantly go out of your way to defy him and his rules to his face, it's ground for immediate and pretty intense punishment. His anger is terrifying in its own way. He's beaming, grinning from ear to ear, talking to you so sweetly, but with just the most subtle underlying tone that lets you know he's furious. It's a warning voice, telling you to fix your attitude or else. He doesn't cease the babytalk or petnames when he's mad, it actually gets worse, it helps him contain his fury. But when you hear him say sweetheart in that quiet, sweet, but low voice you've come to recognize and immediately become afraid, he's pretty pleased when it reaches a point where that alone can shut you up. He believes there's a healthy degree of fear that pets should have of their masters.

The easiest and fastest way to set him off by far, though, even more than being mean or disobedient, is silent treatment. That sets him off unlike anything else, and is most likely to make him snap to actual, unrestrained anger, finally showing his true rage and snarling at you, grabbing you by the throat and lifting you off the ground. It will only last a few moments, though, before he comes back to his senses and lets go, apologizing, telling you he hates doing that, but you really seem to try to make him mad, sometimes.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

He kinda bounces back and forth. He's a bit of a worshipper, telling you how beautiful and amazing you are and how he doesn't deserve you, really no one does, you're angelic, nearly a goddess - but at the same time, you're also his little kitten. A pet to be controlled because you don't know what's good for you. Kept away from a world hellbent on harming you. When you agree with him or do what he wants, it's the former. When you disagree with him, it's the latter, and he talks down to you like you're a child.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

He'll try until the day he dies. And try he does, very much so, always buying you gifts, telling you sweet things, reassuring you how much he loves you. Even if you show no sign of ever giving in, that doesn't deter him, ever the optimist. It can become infuriating... and maddening, slowly driving you to the brink of insanity. When it comes down to you trying to break him of his delusions versus him trying to break you into them... he will win, you will crack first. No matter how stubborn you think you may be, rest assured, he's even moreso.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

I have a unique little headcanon... he hints to someone about your existence, and will select someone as a back-up caretaker. See, he's worried about the possibility of being killed in his heroism, and what would happen to his poor little kitten then? It might be weeks before someone enters his apartment, and they would never understand -- they would think he did something wrong, they would try to recondition you to the world, sure they'd have good intentions, but they wouldn't realize they're making things worse for you. So, he gets a very trusted friend, someone he knows would understand and... perhaps whom he gets the feeling has a bit of the same tendencies as himself, and more or less tells them that if something should happen to him, they need to go to his place, because something very important to him is there. As jealous as the thought of someone else having you makes him, he can't bear the thought of you being released back into the world... and you're still in the denial phase, so you still act like he's a bad guy and all that, so you might tarnish his name and legacy with lies. He can't have that. So, after careful consideration, he picks someone to take over as your caretaker, should something happen. He would rather know you're in the capable hands of someone he trusts than left to starve in his apartment or thrown out into the world, even if it means someone else having you.

Maybe an odd choice, but I could see him going for Shoto on that one. His personality may be very different from his own, and he may not be as close to him as some others, but he senses they have the same... tendencies and inclinations (am I implying he's definitely a yandere too? Yes), and be trusts him to care for you but also be able to handle and tame you. And honestly? He's one person he knows without a doubt will actually prefer to follow through and have you rather than disregarding his wishes - anyone else, and he's got a little doubt they might just not understand the situation, not understand your unique case, and take you to the police or God forbid, just release you back into the world. He leaves a little note with you (making sure to detail how you can be hard to handle, be patient with her, ok?) and tells you that should anyone with this physical description (I mean, it's a pretty unique description, not too many people look like Shoto), ever come and tell you that he's gone, give them the note, and be nice to your new owner, he's sure he'll love you too. But never forget, he loved you more.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Horny lil thing. His stalking tendencies result in a lot of perverted shit -- stealing your clothes, jerking off to all those pictures of you he's taken, putting hidden microphones in your room so he can hear when you're touching yourself. He's got a high drive, and jerks off quite a bit. Watching you in class often leads to his thoughts racing, and you notice he gets up to use the bathroom pretty frequently during class.

Prior to abduction, he's not brave enough to be touchy, although he will use his innocent demeanor to try and get a nice full-front hug every now and then that seems to last just a bit too long for comfort. After abduction, though? He makes up for all the touching he's wanted to do since he first saw you, wrapping arms around you all the time. When you're cooking he'll come up behind you and just wrap his arms around you, standing there and just enjoying feeling you. At night he's always very cuddle and wants to snuggle on the sofa or have you in his lap in some way. He also gets very grope-y beyond that point, frequently reaching up to cup your chest in his hands, squeezing your ass or thighs, or just spooning and grinding a hard-on against your ass.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Too far into the delusions to care. Granted he understands why you are so resistant, why you fight so hard - you're just scared, but don't worry, it will only hurt just a little bit. Or you're insecure - he'll tell you lots of sweet things, he would just hate for you to not know how much he worships you, you know.

Or maybe you're just prudish, or traumatized. Repeated resistance with time and failure to quickly give in leads him to this conclusion, he becomes convinced that maybe you were raised in a sex-negative environment, a too-conservative household, and you were taught to think such a thing was wrong. Maybe you had some kind of negative experience in the past. If you confess to either of these being true, that just solidifies in his mind that that's the sole reason you're so resistant. He'll adjust based on whatever the issue is - are you one of the "until marriage" people? Well it's not official, but he'll try to prove to you that you're basically married, even make a fake contract for you to sign, buy you a cute white dress and a cake and basically say this is no different from being truly married, after all, the government approval is a modern convention and in the past people were married just by vows.

Is it trauma? Well, as said before, he's reluctant to murder, but if that turns out to be the case, that knowledge is enough to push him over the edge, and he'll be sure to make them regret it while they die - he'll even be sweet enough to take a picture, show you how much they rightfully suffered, and he'll be so so sweet, reassuring you he's not like them, kissing your forehead even as he's ignoring your little cries to stop and sinking deep into you.

Just a prude? That's ok. He'll teach you otherwise, rid you of that mindset -- all the more reason to ignore your struggles and pleas, because once you feel good enough, you'll stop resisting. Once you understand how good sex is and how nice he can make you feel, he's confident he can turn you into his own little cock-hungry slut. And managing to do so -- making you cum despite how prudish you are -- gives him a massive ego boost. Especially if you did have past partners, because clearly they weren't doing their job well, since you're so frigid. He'll make you tell him how much better he is than anyone else from before.

He's not a patient man, he's far too eager and really there's nothing you can do to stop sex from happening like... probably within the first hour of your new life together. He's been waiting such a long time, you know. If you happened to be a civilian in the situation mentioned previously, and you didn't know each other beforehand, he might give you, say, 24 hours to adjust, but again, he's not patient.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Oral fixation

Just. He likes eating you out. A lot. Even if you don't. Even if he has to restrain you, holding you down so you can't squirm away. He likes the taste and the way it makes you squirm and writhe and whimper. He loves blowjobs, too. Just. Suck him off and he's wrapped around your finger, but be warned, he lacks self control in this area and will definitely end up grabbing your hair and just jerking your head like a fleshlight, forcing you to deep-throat him until he can cum down your throat.

Infantilization/Lingerie, corruption/defilement

Specifically the cute kind. He likes things like the kitty keyhole lingerie, thigh highs, schoolgirl uniforms, that sort of thing. Innocent looking, cutesy, lots of soft pinks and pastel colors. He never really ceases treating you like a dumb baby, even with sex, cooing at you and making you whimper, softly reassuring you everything is ok, and he'll make you feel good. He likes the innocence, even if you're not (convinces himself any past boyfriends "don't count" for whatever reason), and gets off to the idea that he's corrupting that innocence, ruining you, making you his and his alone. His little toy to play with and break and ruin, make sure you're so trained to his body and voice that no one else could ever make you feel as good as him. As aforementioned, he likes the idea of taking a little prude and turning you into a little cumslut that begs and whimpers for him. It's an ego, pride thing for him.

Petplay/D/S dynamic/Worship

Just. Kitten. It's good. He's super into the cat ears and tail, finding cute ears that perfectly match your hair color, and a little tail plug that makes you whimper when he slides it inside of you. Definitely calls you "kitten," or "kitty," and importantly, makes sure you call him your master. And good pets love their masters, worship them the way they deserve to be worshipped for taking care of you, feeding you, doing everything for you. Masters are their pets' whole world, and he will be to you, too. Also buys a collar, a nice thick one with a leash he can use to make you walk around on all fours, or use to yank you back onto him when you're getting fucked on your hands and knees.

Cockwarming

Unfortunately, the part of hero work they don't talk about as much is the paperwork. There's quite a bit, actually, and studying for license renewals. He's got a kinda short attention span and he needs some stimulation to keep him focused. Which is how you end up sitting in his lap at his desk, panties down on your ankles, holding perfectly still with him deep inside of you. He tells you not to move -- you'll distract him too much. Eventually, though, it can get to be too much, so he just ends up fucking up into you right there, but after he's done he'll stay inside, gradually getting hard again and repeating the process.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

He likes the idea in theory, but ultimately decides against it for a couple of reasons. See, his little kitten is so... difficult, and he fears you might teach them to resent him. More importantly, people would wonder -- if he's got kids, where's the mom? He can't afford to have people snooping about that. Finally, much like with you, he fears that his enemies might kidnap his kids, or hurt them somehow to hurt him. If darling is especially well-behaved, once she's finally broken in and understands his way of seeing things and becomes more agreeable, there's a chance he'd consider it, but the concern over their safety would likely still stop him.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Definitely spanking and impact pain. He's gonna invest in it, too. Leather straps and hard rubber paddles -- probably gets one of the ones that have a little shaped hole or raised part that puts a nice little design imprint on your flesh. Likes making you count for the added humiliation, or making you choose a number of swats that you feel is appropriate for what you did -- but of course, if you go too low under what he had in mind, he'll go with his number and add extra, being sure to let you know you get more for underestimating what you deserve.

Speaking of the monitoring from cameras and all that above, he also has a firm rule that you can't touch yourself. And he'll know -- the bracelet you have alerts him to any increase in heart rate, and he can look into the cameras and see what you're doing. If you're trying to be sneaky, it's still obvious when your heart is racing while you're locked in a bathroom, or the little movements he can make out from under the covers. It also warrants punishment. You want orgasms that bad? Have some. Too many. He'll make you cum over and over, to the point it's horribly painful and sensitive, tying you firmly so you can't move an inch and can't get away from his fingers, tongue, vibrator, or whatever else he chooses. Keep going until you're sobbing and gasping for air, apologizing and crying that you won't do it again.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Thigh boy. He likes using them as a pillow, feeling them wrapped around his head when he's eating you out, running his hands up and down the soft flesh. He's also fond of leaving little bite marks and hickeys all up the inside of your thighs -- not that anyone else sees, but it's just a little reminder to you of who you belong to.

[tiramisiyu]

【恋与制作人】 MLQC: Chapter 35 “The Final Answer” Summary

Translation Masterlist

Summarized Chapters: [to be updated]

Spoiler alert: Please note that all content in this post is content that has not yet been released in the global server.

35-1

Rainstorm, lightning, hurricanes, earthquakes…

An increase in extreme weather and natural disasters resulted in a prophecy that started circulating in the dark –

“Two daughters of the world

One will lead towards the light, one will be corrupted from the dark.

The left hand of the angel wields a sword to puncture through all deception and lies.”

Right now, everyone desires to return to a peaceful life, but the footsteps that have stopped still must go forth, until…

The moment “that” draws near.

 --

There’s been an increase in extreme weather and natural disasters for the past month, such that it’s been a long time since the sun has been seen

MC thinks about how Victor has been out of contact for a month

As MC and Kiki wait for Minor to drive up, they witness a tree topple, then a young man uses his Evol to stop it before it hits a kid. The parents of the kid run over to grab their child and look at the Evolver in disgust. Other passersby also say some mean things. 

Apparently, similar things (where people disdain of Evolvers) have been frequent

MC sees that the young man is No.93; he expresses surprise that she’s still alive

Minor drives up, so MC offers to send 93 off, but he says he has elsewhere to be and rushes off. MC notices that he’s desperately clutching onto a black card

--

On the car’s TV, the news host says that the increase in abnormal phenomena is proportionate to the increase in Evolvers

MC wonders about Black Queen’s words, “Soon, you will understand that I am the person who will save this world” and what it means

Minor steps on the brakes, seeing someone suddenly appear in front of the car –

MC thought Shaw was unconscious, but he is able to speak weakly and gives something to MC before passing out again

They take him to the hospital

--

STF and LFG delegations are meeting up, including Gavin and Goldman (who is representing Victor)

Lucien walks in with key researchers from Ultima Bioresearch

Helios appears on the room screen, with several people behind him

 35-3

MC waits outside the emergency room, confirming what Shaw gave her was the original copy of her dad’s notebook

Suddenly, a young man hands a black card to MC, saying that the address on it will get rid of their Evols and that the card is an indication that they were selected. MC remembers that 93 also had that card

There’s the letter “A” on the card, and MC realizes it’s her other self/Black Queen

The emergency door room opens, and the doctor says that the wounds are dealt with and him falling unconscious is due to Evol overuse

MC asks what happened to him; Shaw says it’s not important, and he got the notebook back because he caused her to lose it

Shaw then says there’s no particular secret to the notebook, and in MC’s hands, it’s just a normal notebook

Shaw notices the black card, says it was made by “her”, and it has an attached Evol that affects those who touch it – this makes people believe that Evolvers are responsible for all disasters and they need to get rid of Evols to end the disasters

Shaw’s Evol has been heavily damaged by her, so can’t touch the card

MC guesses that Black Queen’s Evol is de-evolution of Evols, as Shaw confirms – the more de-evolutions she does, the more power she gets, so MC should stop her ASAP

MC asks about what side he’s on –

Shaw: I study archaeology. Aren’t you curious about why? Those who walk through history have no position. Because those who walk will not stop, we will not stand on any side. The only thing I want to do is discover truth, and then push forward the discovery of truth. The moment that walking stops, this means that this world is headed to the end. Though I’ve always had my doubts, now I can somewhat believe that you just might be able to protect this world.

MC: I definitely will!

 35-4

After the hospital, they head to an emergency relief centre for Evolvers with no homes, to drop off supplies 

(After Leto’s disappearance, rather than getting better, things got worse between Evolvers and normal people)

The person in charge thanks MC for her efforts in providing supplies and with Miracle Finder, then asks if she knows what the black card that Evolvers have been getting is, and notes that people who got it have been weird

MC advises the person in charge to have them thrown away if anyone gets another one

--

MC and Minor head to the sanatorium noted on the card; the two are planning to sneak in while disguised

A man dressed in grey suddenly walks out from behind a column, startling both, then takes them inside when MC displays the black card. He says that “she” is here today, so they’re pretty lucky, and that “she” is the world’s savior

MC and Minor’s act involves pretending that Minor is a normal guy whose little sister, MC, suddenly got an Evol

The man takes them to the room with lots of people seeking de-evolution, though MC does not find 93 among them

Suddenly, someone addresses MC and Minor

35-6

The person is Gavin, disguised in casualwear and looking dangerously angry

MC says they’re here for de-evolution; Gavin says that he’s doing the same. MC realizes they have the same target after seeing the black card in Gavin’s hand

Someone comes to take MC and Minor, as it’s they’re turn; Gavin says to let him go first, the person suggests for them to come together. 

MC says to let Minor stay out (since he’s not an Evolver), hinting at him to escape when possible

--

They’re taken to a dark path where “she” is at the end

When MC asks the person why “she” is helping them, he says that “evolution” is just a complete lie and than everyone will soon know that de-evolution is the only way to get the single opportunity to live. MC feels that he’s already lost all reason

MC and Gavin walk hand-in-hand down the dark path, realizing that this path is much too long for the size of the sanatorium

They finally arrive at a wall, carved with some symbols

With the sound of an explosion, a heatwave surges over, lighting up the whole path; Gavin tackles MC down as the corridor collapses

35-7

After the collapsing, the two confirm if either have injuries

They’re completely blocked off on both ends on the path

MC thinks that it’s because her disguising wasn’t complete enough, attracting their suspicions; Gavin says it’s fine, as he came to confirm something and they’re giving him this chance

Using his phone, Gavin realizes that there’s no signal here and… time has stopped

The two search for any places with special characteristics; MC finds a little path with the sound of water

Down the path, they’re blocked again, and Gavin uses his Evol to break it down – behind this wall is a scene of clear skies and a waterfall, which MC recognizes as the waterfall in the north. Gavin confirms that they’ve been taken into this space, though this time there’s no need to leave it around

MC: Can this place be destroyed?

Gavin: Yes. The STF already has a preliminary grasp on the whereabouts of the person behind this, so this place is already useless. Before we make our moves this time, I will not leave them a single path to back out with.

Using his Evol, Gavin destroys that space and they jump down from there to the waterfall scene, the wind carrying them to the ground

They meet up with an STF squad with Eli there, who says their guess was right, which Gavin proceeds to explain

Gavin: Actually, in the past month, more than one “de-evolution points” have appeared in Loveland. These “de-evolution points” have no connection between them and they’re very far apart. The person behind has appeared simultaneously at multiple places. So we theorized that these “de-evolution points” will use some method to lead these people to one location. And the place that’s most likely to be used for this is this place.

MC wonders, if Evols are bringing disaster and since everyone will die at the end, why does she need to bother with Evol de-evolution?

They suddenly get a citywide warning for everyone to be on high alert; soon after, MC feels an earthquake coming on 

 35-9

Leaving behind an STF squad, they rush to the city, hearing that there was an earthquake in the neighbouring city and the shockwaves reached Loveland, causing panic and damaged buildings

MC wonders if all this really is due to Evolvers

Gavin: MC, don’t waver in your judgement. Everyone has the right to live. If they feel fear due to the unknown, you can get rid of the unknown. You’ve always helped more people understand Evolvers, starting from the first episode of Miracle Finder… I don’t know what to do, but if there really is doomsday… I will face it with you.

On the road they’re on, the cars suddenly stop and Gavin heads off to check it, as a throng of people attempt to surround the STF

MC starts recording this, and notices that these people are holding the black cards

STF members can only defend from the crowd, as they can’t actively harm them; Gavin ends up forming a wind barrier to barricade off the throng of people

Using his wind, Gavin pulls the black cards away from the people into the air and cuts them into pieces, making the people regain their senses

Gavin: Evolvers will always exist beside everyone. They have had nothing to do with the disasters in the past, and they will have nothing to do with them from now on. No one has the right to deprive others of fair existence, and attacking Evolvers is as despicable as it gets! The disasters are the enemy that everyone should be confronting, not Evolvers.

Gavin gives the command to STF to prepare to set off, then goes to MC and gives her permission to use her footage

Gavin heads off after MC convinces him that there’s no need to send her back, as both realize that they need to deal with Black Queen ASAP to handle the disasters

35-11

MC and her staff are working on reporting how the disasters affected Evolvers at a plaza where citizens were evacuated to

MC is also getting a ton of notifications from the video she took earlier, with comments in approval of Gavin’s words; the clouds have also dispersed, revealing the moon and stars

Lucien calls; when MC asks about if he knows about what happened with Black Queen, he says that he got a few of the cards, did some analysis on them, and got some clues

Lucien has MC look at the brightest star in the sky, then close her eyes and walk according to his directions

She arrives at a place where there’s a deep crevice between tall buildings. Behind her is Lucien

Lucien: Were you afraid that I was tricking you again?

MC: I don’t think you were tricking me. Plus, even if you tricked me over here, I haven’t suffered any damages.

Lucien: You’re right. Do you trust me this much?

MC: Yes. This is the last time I will answer this question. This time, are you going to tell me to not trust you that much?

Lucien: This time, I won’t. In the future, you must continue to trust me.

Lucien then says that he created this crevice, then pushes MC into it; MC seems to see him mouth “Don’t be scared”

 35-12

After a fall, MC finds herself in Lucien’s arms, finding themselves in an “unfamiliar yet familiar wilderness”

Following Lucien’s gaze, MC then sees Black Queen sitting in a large room within a crevice at their feet, wearing half a mask

MC wants to escape, but Lucien hints to her that he will explain to her soon

In the room, 93 appears, taking out a black card and looking somewhat vacantly, asking for de-evolution, and Black Queen obliges

Lucien: Do you want to stop this?

MC nods

Lucien: What if he truly does want to de-evolve?

MC: He can make his decision when under no external influences, rather than now.

Lucien: MC, right now I need you to cooperate in verifying something.

Lucien suddenly gets very close to MC, making her heart skip a beat

 35-14

A white light comes from MC, and a black whirlpool from Black Queen

MC sees that Black Queen is telling 93 that she’s tired, and he can come tomorrow, and he leaves

Black Queen says that she’s been noticed, and if so, she can’t leave her (presumably MC) for too long, then seems to look at MC in declaration of war

Lucien says that this place is an independent existence, and Black Queen can’t see them

Lucien takes them out of the place, his eyes covering MC’s eyes, and MC is able to see through between his fingers that he pressed his lips to the back of his hand

They return to under the clear starry skies, the crevice gone

Lucien makes a call, saying that “The first test can end now”. When MC asks about this “test” –

Lucien: Do you still remember the space-folding experiment?

MC: But don’t you not have an Evol now?

Lucien: Technology is the best copying power itself. This experiment has been in progress for a long time, and just hasn’t been used before.

MC then expresses concerns about whether Lucien has rested, but Lucien suggests stargazing instead

MC asks if de-evolution is a scam of hers

Lucien: If it’s just de-evolution, then it’s not a scam. But her plan comes entirely from a lie. It’s not to save the world, nor is it to save Evolvers. Because she is your shadow to begin with. The stronger your power, the stronger hers is. Your Evol is “evolution”, while hers is “de-evolution”. After you awakened, changes happened with the relation between you two. 

Lucien: So just now, I did a test to prove that this conclusion is correct. Just now, when your Evol was pushed to the peak by emotion, she momentarily lost the power of de-evolution. [This means] Your power can light up this darkness – more accurately, only you can do this. On one worldline, only one of the same person can exist.

MC realizes that the existence of Black Queen comes from all the worldlines being combined into one, except for a single omitted line

Lucien confirms this, but reminds that it is just his guess, that Black Queen aims to get power to destroy MC and join the two worlds together

MC: How will that affect the world right now?

Lucien: Perhaps it will accelerate the collapse of this world, or perhaps it won’t.

MC decides that she will find Black Queen and end everything

Just when Lucien offers to send MC home, they suddenly hear a clamor far away on the plaza and head over to see

  35-15

Two groups are fighting with a group of children between; one group is complaining that the kids are Evolvers that will bring trouble; the others, Evolvers themselves, say that there’s no reason for Evolvers to not be there and everyone is trying to avoid the disasters

MC and Lucien realize that it’s the orphanage kids and director

MC sees a vacant-eyed man with a black card coming at her when she tries to use a loudspeaker, and decides to use her light attack to disperse the crowd

Lucien blocks her from the man, and notes that it’s about to rain

The crowd continues fighting as Lucien raises his hand

A light gathers at Lucien’s fingertips, dispersing towards the sky

People gradually regain reason under the rain that’s become light droplets, shaking hands and making peace

Lucien: If this were my true Evol, would you like it? This way, you should be able to have a good dream.

MC: Why do you…

Lucien: Because I felt that you needed it.

Lucien: That was a lie. MC, hold out your hand. I just remembered that I have something to give to you.

Lucien hands a little light ball to MC

Lucien: Now, do you hear what I haven’t said aloud?

> I felt it – a strong colour, sweet and warm, with a faint bitterness. Like an autumn cornfield, like a single rose on barren soil, like a rainbow that occupied the entire sky. Unrestrained, unconcealed, and in my hand right now.

  35-17

The camp on the plaza has calmed down

MC flips through her dad’s notebook, remembering what Lucien said before leaving 

Lucien: Since she knows that her weakness has been exposed, she will begin the next step in her actions very soon. But we don’t need to be anxious… The biggest connection between you and her is your pasts. Perhaps someone has told you the answer early on.

MC picks up a call from Shaw

Shaw: Just now, her plan changed. Tomorrow, she’s preparing to become this world’s Queen for real. If only one of you can exist in this world, she’s determined to win.

--

At BS’s old site, Black Queen strokes a grey throne, saying that “It’s time”, looking at a row of 10 people below

Helios: We have already prepared for the coronation of the Black Swan Queen.

[agnes-come-back-challenge]

Who wants a full comparison of episodes 1, 25, and 111 of Welcome to Night Vale? Because I love comparing these episodes and also I have no impulse control. Let’s go

(Spoilers up to episode 111, obviously. Also, I’ll bold every other segment so that it’s easier to tell which ones I’m comparing)

((This is gonna be an incredibly long post. I’m very sorry))

A friendly desert community, where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale. (1)

A friendly desert community, where the sun is still hot, the moon still beautiful, and mysterious lights still pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale. (25)

A friendly desert community, where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead, while we lay open eyed, watching it all. Welcome to Night Vale. (111)

Hello listeners. To start things off, I’ve been asked to read this brief notice. The City Council announces the opening of a new Dog Park at the corner of Earl and Summerset, near the Ralphs. They would like to remind everyone that dogs are not allowed in the Dog Park. People are not allowed in the Dog Park. It is possible you will see hooded figures in the Dog Park. do not approach them. Do not approach the Dog Park. The fence is electrified and highly dangerous. Try not to look at the Dog Park and especially do not look for any period of time at the hooded figures. The Dog Park will not harm you. (1)

One single year since two major events in our town’s history. First, the opening of our lovely, state-of-the-art Dog Park, which is forbidden, and which I will not mention again. (25)

The City Council reiterated for the 1,874th consecutive day that the Dog Park is off limits for both dogs and humans. The fence is electrified and highly dangerous etc. Hooded figures and all that. Since its construction we have shied from and feared the Dog Park. The Dog Park is neither a park nor for dogs, and so what does it even mean to call it a dog park? Why do we use language that means one thing to describe something that is entirely else? I don’t know what the word is for that place the City Council calls the dog park, but I do know it’s time to start searching for that word, and once found, to use it boldly. (111)

And now the news. Old Woman Josie, out near the car lot, says the Angels revealed themselves to her. Said they were ten feet tall, radiant, one of them was black. Said they helped her with various household chores. One of them changed a light bulb for her, the porch light. She’s offering to sell the old light bulb, which has been touched by an angel (it was the black angel, if that sweetens the pot for anyone). If you’re interested, contact Old Woman Josie. She’s out near the car lot. (1)

[none] (25)

The angels, who I can now say are angels, and will say are angels, because they are angels, held a memorial for Old Woman Josie in her house. Everyone in town came, overcome with a feeling that finally they could look at these beings and recognize them for what they were. Even the City Council attended the memorial, but refused to make eye contact with anyone. Of course, this positive, concrete identification only led to more mysteries, for if these are angels, then where did they come from? And what does that mean for us? Even now we find that we cannot voice these questions. Not because we are not allowed. But because we cannot find the words to ask. Instead we ate cake and drank coffee in the living room of Old Woman Josie, which was once just that, a place she lived. Now it is only a room. One by one, we laid our hand on the Angels’ hands, and in that moment of contact each of us, in turn, found ourselves weeping. As the party wound down, we all heard a soft pop outside. It was the lightbulb on Old Woman Josie’s porch, burning out. (111)

A new man came in to town today. Who is he? What does he want from us? Why his perfect and beautiful haircut? Why his perfect and beautiful coat? He says he is a scientist. Well, we have all been scientists at one point or another in our lives. But why now? Why here? And just what does he plan to do with all those beakers and humming electrical instruments in that lab he’s renting, the one next to Big Rico’s Pizza. No one does a slice, like Big Rico. No one. (1)

Second, and more important, it is one year since the arrival in Night Vale of our most beloved and singular citizen. (25)

A man who I know very well came into my house today, which is also his house. He laid his head, with its perfect and beautiful hair, upon my shoulder, and crossed his arms over his perfect and beautiful lab coat. I embraced him. We are creatures of touch, humans, and we retrieve so much meaning and happiness from contact. “I have become too complacent,” he said. “When I came here, I understood this town as scientifically fascinating. And then, gradually, it became my day to day life. I could no longer see the strangeness, but only my home.” “We are all guilty of that,” I said. “But I am a scientist,” he said.“Well,” I said. “We have all been scientists at one point or another in our lives.” (111)

Just a reminder to all the parents out there. Let’s talk about safety when taking your children out to play in the scrub lands and the sand wastes. You need to give them plenty of water, make sure there’s a shade tree in the area, and keep an eye on the helicopter colors. Are the unmarked helicopters circling the area black? Probably World Government, not a good area for play that day. Are they blue? That’s the Sheriff’s Secret Police, they’ll keep a good eye on your kids, and hardly ever take one. Are they painted with complex murals depicting birds of prey diving? No one knows what those helicopters are, or what they want. Do not play in the area. Return to your home and lock the doors until a Sheriff’s Secret Policeman leaves a carnation on your porch to indicate that the danger has passed. Cover your ears to blot out the screams. Also, remember: Gatorade is basically soda, so give your kids plain old water and maybe some orange slices when they play. (1)

Parents: Let’s talk about safety when taking your children to play out in the scrub lands and the sand wastes. All children in Night Vale are missing this week, so there’s no current safety issues. Hope we find them! (25)

Just a reminder to all the parents out there. Let’s talk about safety when taking your children out to play in the scrub lands and the sand wastes. You need to give them plenty of water, make sure there’s a shade tree in the area, and keep an eye on the helicopter colors. I asked my best friend and brother, Steve, to talk me through which helicopters belong to which organizations. Obviously the black helicopters belong to the World Government, although I had not realized, until Steve laid it out for me, how closely they are also associated with the Lizard People. The blue ones are Sheriff’s Secret Police, the pink ones are the new Double Secret Police, and the ones painted with complex murals depicting birds of prey diving? Well not even Steve knows what those helicopters are, nor what they want. On Steve’s chart, those are just labeled with the word RUN and then a few hundred exclamation points. (111)

A commercial airliner flying through local airspace disappeared today, only to reappear in the Night Vale Elementary gymnasium during basketball practice, disrupting practice quite badly. The jet roared through the small gym for only a fraction of a second, and before it could strike any players or structure, it vanished again, this time apparently for good. There is no word yet on if or how this will affect the Night Vale Mountain Lion’s game schedule, and also if this could perhaps be the work of their bitter rivals, the Desert Bluffs Cacti. Desert Bluffs is always trying to show us up through fancier uniforms, better pre-game snacks, and quite possibly by transporting a commercial jet into our gymnasium, delaying practice for several minutes at least. For shame, Desert Bluffs. For shame. (1)

In other news, a commercial airliner appeared today inside the home of surprised Night Vale citizen Becky Canterbury, who said she was about to get in the shower when it roared down her hallway and then disappeared, as suddenly as it had arrived. There is no conclusive evidence that this is the same airliner last seen in the Night Vale Elementary gym one year ago, but we have jumped to that conclusion and will defend it against all naysayers, violently and without mercy. Our truths may or may not be true, but they are ours, and we stand by them, even as the experts and skeptics hold aloft clipboards and intone to us about snow and mountains. Becky added that she would like to take that shower now, and that she has no idea how we managed to arrive for an interview mere seconds after the incident occurred. “My doors are locked.” she said. “My windows too. I’ve had my eyes shut for years. How did you get in here?” (25)

A commercial airliner flying through local airspace disappeared today, only to reappear at the fifth hole of the Sagebrook Pines Private Golf Club and Bulk Supplier. This disrupted all golf activities badly, as well as scaring a family of four who were perusing bulk paper towels offered at a discount price in a nearby sandtrap. I feel, for the first time, that I can articulate that this airliner had flown into some other universe, those divisions being particularly thin here in our quaint little community. This also is the cause of things like dead relatives occasionally joining us for breakfast, or the shimmering skyscrapers and crowded cities that appear for flashing moments in the sky. Of course, it also could be the handywork of the East Night Vale Cacti, the basketball team at the new East Night Vale Elementary School. Those scamps are always pulling pranks. Could they transport a large plane through multiple universes? Who am I to say? But probably yes. For shame, East Night Vale. For shame. (111)

The local chapter of the NRA is selling bumper stickers as part of their fundraising week. They sent the station one to get some publicity, and we’re here to serve the community, so I’m happy to let you all know about it. The stickers are made from good, sturdy vinyl, and they read: “Guns don't kill people. It's impossible to be killed by a gun. We are all invincible to bullets and it's a miracle.” Stand outside of your front door and shout “NRA” to order one. (1)

The local chapter of the NRA has begun market testing some possible new slogans. These include: “Guns don't kill people. Blood loss and organ damage does.” “Guns don't kill people. People kill guns.” “A list of things that kill people: 1. Conceivably anything. 2. Not guns.” “Guns don't kill people. We are all immortal souls living temporarily in shelters of earth and meat.” and “If you say guns kill people one more time I will shoot you with a gun and you will, coincidentally, die.” To vote on the new slogan, simply fire a gun at the object or person that best represents your choice. (25)

The local chapter of the NRA is selling bumper stickers as part of their fundraising week. The stickers are made from good, sturdy vinyl and they read “We genuinely do not value human life.” Cute! (111)

Carlos and his team of scientists warn that one of the houses in the new development of Desert Creek, out back of the elementary school, doesn’t actually exist. “It seems like it exists,” explained Carlos and his perfect hair. “Like it’s just right there when you look at it, and it’s between two other identical houses so it would make more sense for it to be there than not” But, he says, they have done experiments and the house is definitely not there. At news time, the scientists are standing in a group on the sidewalk in front of the nonexistent house, daring each other to go knock on the door. (1)

Scientists, and science in general, would like to remind you that some things exist and some things do not. Usually, you can apply the simple test of seeing if it is there. If it is there, it exists. If not, it probably doesn’t, but it might just be currently existing somewhere else. Existence is tricky, the scientists say. Research shows this. For instance, there is that house in the housing development of Desert Creek out back of the elementary school, the house that doesn’t exist. It seems like it exists. Like it’s just right there when you look at it, and it’s between two other identical houses so it would make more sense for it to be there than not. But it does not exist. They have proved this with science. The scientists still haven’t gotten up the nerve to ring the doorbell and find out what happens. Do you want to do it? They’ll pay you five dollars if you do. Just ring it once ok. We’ll be watching from back here. You’ll probably be fine. (25)

Carlos and his scientists, like Luisa and Nilanjana, are renewing their investigation into the house in the development of Desert Creek, out back of the elementary school. The house that doesn’t actually exist. “It seems like it exists,” muttered Carlos. “Like it’s just right there when you look at it, and it’s between two other identical houses so it would make more sense for it to be there than not.” But he says, it is actually a doorway to another world. A world he himself was once stuck in for a year. There seem to be secrets about that year he is keeping to himself. Maybe someday we will learn what they are. (111)

Lights, seen in the sky above the Arby’s. Not the glowing sign of Arby’s. Something higher and beyond that. We know the difference. We’ve caught on to their game. We understand the lights above Arby’s game. Invaders from another world. Ladies and gentlemen the future is here. And it’s about a hundred feet above the Arby’s. (1)

But here, Carlos and I sat on the trunk of that car, his car, looking together at the lights up in the sky above the Arby’s. They were beautiful in the hushed twilight, shimmering in a night sky already coming alive with bits of the universe. [...] We understand the lights. We understand the lights above the Arby’s. We understand so much. But the sky behind those lights, mostly void, partially stars, that sky reminds us: we don’t understand even more. (25)

Lights, seen in the sky above the Arby’s. Not the glowing sign of Arby’s. Something higher and beyond that. One night, years ago, two people, scared and vulnerable and loving and ready, came together for a quiet moment under that sky. And I pretended at the time to understand the lights. But a big part of recognizing the world for what it is, is recognizing when you have no idea. Invaders from another world? Harbingers of future terror? A fragment of another universe, fading into our own above reasonably priced lunch meat? Maybe any. Maybe all. Maybe none. But here is what I do know. The lights are, among other things, a part of my memory, and a part of my marriage, and a part of my love. They are a piece of my past, and I don’t need to understand them to understand that. Ladies and gentlemen the past is here. And it’s about a hundred feet above the Arby’s. (111)

The City Council would like to remind you about the tiered heavens, and the hierarchy of angels. The reminder is that you should not know anything about this. The structure of heaven and the angelic organizational chart are privileged information, known only to City Council members on a need to know basis. Please to do not speak to or acknowledge any angels that you may come across while shopping at the Ralphs or at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. They only tell lies, and do not exist. Report all angels sightings to the City Council for treatment. (1)

The City Council would like to remind you about the tiered heavens, and the hierarchy of angels. The reminder is that you still should not know anything about this. The structure of heaven and the angelic organizational chart are still privileged information. Also, angels aren’t real. “I really get tired of having to say this,” a City Council representative said to a group of disgruntled angels. “Angels aren’t real. They just aren’t.” The angels became unruly and were dispersed by a thunderclap from heaven. (25)

The City Council would like to remind you about the tiered heavens and the hierarchy of angels. The reminder is the Council is grumpy that all of this is not forbidden knowledge, but due to the new laws, they are required to inform you that the angels have made all of that information available. Stop by the house where the angels live if you want to pick up a free packet outlining exactly how all of that is organized. While the packet itself is free, it is likely the angels will ask to borrow five dollars. They tend to do that. (111)

Speaking of the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex, its owner, Teddy Williams, reports that he has found the entrance to a vast, underground city in the pin retrieval area of lane 5. He said he has not yet ventured into it, merely peered down at its strange spires and broad avenues. He also reports voices of a distant crowd in the depths of that subterranean metropolis. Apparently the entrance was discovered when a bowling ball accidentally rolled into it, clattering down to the city below with sounds that echoed for miles across the impossibly huge cavern. So, you know, whatever population that city has, they know about us now and we might be hearing from them very soon. (1)

Word is in about a disturbance at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. There has been the sound of chanting and machinery from under the pin retrieval area of lane five, and Teddy Williams has changed all the bowlers’ names on the electronic scorecards to “THEY ARE HERE”. This is causing some confusion and has completely ruined Jeremy Godfrey's 50th birthday party, which had rented out a few lanes for the afternoon. Jeremy was last seen drinking a light beer out of a plastic cup, shaking his head sadly as he swished the liquid around and looking out the window at the sky, mostly void, partially stars. Teddy Williams was last seen howling, commanding his militia to surround the pin retrieval area and prepare for an attack. (25)

Over at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex, Teddy Williams, its owner, reported the startling news that there is nothing under the pin retrieval area of lane 5. As you may remember, there has been a tiny city of warlike people under the bowling alley for several years now, which has caused some trouble, although not a lot of trouble, because they were very tiny people. But now there is just a hole in the earth under the pin retrieval area, an empty space containing only my own memories of a night that someone I loved almost died before I had a chance to truly love him. So good riddance to whatever that town was. (111)

Carlos, perfect and beautiful, came into our studios during the break earlier but declined to stay for an interview. He had some sort of blinking box in his hand covered with wires and tubes. Said he was testing the place for materials. I don’t know what materials he meant, but that box sure whistled and beeped a lot. When he put it close to the microphone, it sounded like, well, like a bunch of baby birds had just woken up. Really went crazy. Carlos looked nervous. I’ve never seen that kind of look on someone with that strong of a jaw. He left in a hurry. Told us to evacuate the building, but then, who would be here to talk sweetly to all of you out there. (1)

I arrived at the parking lot to find Carlos, perched on the trunk of his car in flannel and jeans, his perfect hair mussed, his perfect teeth hidden. “What is it?” I said. “What danger are we in? What mystery needs to be explored?” He shook his head. “Nothing,” he said. “After everything that happened...I just wanted to see you.” My heart leapt. My heart soared. My heart, metaphorically, performed a number of aerial activities, and, literally, it began beat hard. (25)

Carlos, perfect and beautiful, came into our studios during the break earlier, and we ate lunch together out of Tupperwares. He had some sort of blinking box in his hand covered with wires and tubes. When he put it close to the microphone, it sounded like, well, like a bunch of baby birds had just woken up. Really went crazy. He asked if I remembered it. He had brought it by on the first day we had met. He had told me that it tested for materials, but he wasn’t actually sure what materials it tested for. He had just wanted an excuse to come by and talk to me. “Anyway,” he said, “I thought it was a nice memento. Back when we were fumbling awkwardly toward this life we share.” “But,” he added, “it’s a real instrument that is detecting some actual materials of some kind, so there is a good chance that everything about this studio is deeply dangerous. Please be careful.” (111)

Settling in to be another clear and pretty evening here in Night Vale. I hope all of you out there have someone to sleep through it with, or at least good memories of when you did. Good night, listeners. Good night. (1)

We understand the lights. We understand the lights above the Arby’s. We understand so much. But the sky behind those lights, mostly void, partially stars, that sky reminds us: we don’t understand even more. Good night, Night Vale. Good night. (25)

Settling in to be another clear and pretty evening here in Night Vale, this weird, weird town. I hope all of you out there have someone to sleep through it with. I know I do. Good night, listeners. Good night. (111)

[itmighthavebeenintentional]

We've Got Tonight - Ch 4

Summary: “It’s not your job to do this, Andy. You make people happy. I was in the diner all of ten minutes, and you knew exactly how to get me to smile. You do normal, real things like garden and sing karaoke. Saving the world is my job, Sam’s job. Sometimes it’s even Cas’s job, but it’s not yours.”

Inspired by Bob Seger’s “We’ve Got Tonight”

Warnings: Major Character Death, More Major Character Deaths (sort of?), higher than show level violence, blood, light smutting, language, demons, apocalypse, inferred suicide, cult activity.

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT PROCEED

Author’s Note: This story is set hazily around season 8. Just squint a little, and it’ll settle in somewhere. I wrote this story after certain big revelations in the show, but before other big ones; you’ll most likely be able to tell which. I play with time a bit in the story itself, so if things seem out of order, they are. Hopefully, by the end, all the pieces will fit together.

What the hell, let’s give it a shot.

EXTRA WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS THE SOURCE OF MOST OF THE WARNINGS FOR THE STORY. Please don't kill me. THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER, I PROMISE. It's not over yet. I can't promise you won't hate me when it's over, but I will not leave you here. There's more.

Image and major edits by the incomparable @there-must-be-a-lock . Heavy editing and cheering by @thoughtslikeaminefield . Thank you both so much.

In case you missed it: Chapter 3 ItMightHaveBeenintentional’s Masterlist

...

We’ve Got Tonight

Ch 4

Pre-dawn is too damn cold, she decides. She has to visually check that her fingers are actually doing up the buttons to her ragged denim jacket. She lost sensation in her hands a while back, and it’s the only way to make sure they’re actually doing their job. Her jacket is utterly unsuitable for the current temperature, but she doesn’t expect to need it for much longer.

Just before sunrise, Crowley told her.

The sky is already lightening on the horizon, the medium gray more obvious than she would have thought against the stark black, but, then, she’s never had much occasion to be out quite this late before. She’s usually done at the diner by six, singing at the club by ten, and in bed by two at the latest. She hopes Crowley is punctual. She can’t decide if the waiting or the cold is worse.

Except that, yes, she really can. The waiting is definitely worse.

The sound of shifting gravel pulls her out of her thoughts, and she turns to find the King of Hell himself smiling beatifically at her. She shivers, not bothering to search out the source of her discomfort, as she is rather spoiled for choice at the moment. She’s out in the freezing dark, about to hand over her life and soul to a demon because deranged cultists got it into their heads that they should use her blood to start an apocalypse (and who knew there was more than one of those outside of Sunnydale, seriously).

Shivering is probably the most rational reaction she’s had in a while.

“Hello, darling. Pleasant evening with the boys?”

He’s got more sass in one off-the cuff remark than she has in her entire history, and for a moment she can only marvel at the affected innocence in his expression. It's almost convincing. She opts to remain silent rather than take his bait. He smirks, the expression natural and only a touch derisive.

“No surprises, then? No sidekicks to save you at the last minute from the bad, bad demon?”

“I thought the torture didn’t start until after you kill me,” she sighs, hugging her arms tighter around herself, a futile attempt to ward off the chill. Maybe she’s got a little spark in her, after all. He laughs, a friendly, personable chuckle that would set anyone else at ease, reassure them of his honorable, benign intentions.

“Come on, Crowley, what's the hold up? I was here on time. Can we just get this over with already? I could have gotten one more round in with Dean if we were just going to stand around, shootin’ the breeze.”

Even watching for it, she can only just see the tick in Crowley's jaw, the slightest tension that betrays...something. She doesn't know what or why, but Crowley has more than a little unhealthy obsession with the elder Winchester brother, and she is pleased she managed to crack his veneer even for the briefest moment.

At least I don't have to worry about Dean, Andy thinks, relief creeping into the sea of dread that is her stomach. Her deal with Crowley was not only about stopping the apocalypse but also keeping Sam and Dean and even Castiel safe.

“Once you're gone, I won’t harm a hair on their precious heads, nor any other part of them,” he swore to her a mere eighteen hours earlier.

“I’m hurt you don't find my company more pleasant, love,” he murmurs, taking a couple of steps closer. He slides his hands in his coat pockets, the very picture of nonchalance. “I do try my best to be cordial, even congenial, after all. But since you’re so very uncomfortable, I suppose you won't object, then, that I took the liberty of inviting a few friends whose company you seem to prefer. What a lovely party we’ll have when they get here.”

As if he’s summoned them, a pair of lights appear in the distance, growing larger with every passing moment. Headlights, she realizes; a second later, she hears the distinctive roaring of a very particular car engine, and before she can turn back to Crowley, the Impala leaps out of the darkness, skidding across the hard-packed dirt road, coming to a halt bare inches from the demon’s impeccably shined shoes.

Andy stumbles back, choking in the cloud of dust the car kicks up, only to hit something solid. Impossibly strong fingers dig into her chin, lifting her face out and away as cold, thin metal is pressed to the side of her neck, and only now does she freeze.

“Let her go, Crowley,” Dean growls, his gun drawn and aimed even before he exits the car. “This isn't her fight, and you know it!” On the other side, Sam and Castiel climb out, Sam drawing his gun and moving to flank the demon.

“I do heartily protest, sir,” Crowley says, his tone mild and conversational. The blade digs in ever so slightly under her ear, and a thin trickle of warmth slides down her skin to soak into her collar. Dean doesn't flinch, but his eyes narrow, and he readjusts his aim.

“Not only is the lady at the epicenter of this fight, she's gone and made herself the brightest star in the show. Ask her yourself, if you don’t believe me.”

“How-” she manages through fear-numbed vocal cords. Dean should be unconscious, snoring blissfully away in his bed where she left him. She made sure to leave no sort of trail they could follow, and she checked that they were all asleep or otherwise occupied before she took off.

“I wasn’t asleep, Andy,” Dean replies, leveling his gun at Crowley. “And I’ve been tracking since I was seven. Gimme some credit.”

“I wouldn't do that, if I were you, Moose.” Crowley’s words freeze Sam in his tracks, and the blade on Andy’s neck digs in a little deeper. The flow of warmth down her neck widens just a touch. The sheer smugness in Crowley’s tone sets her teeth on edge, breaking through her stupor, and she grabs the hand with the knife, pulling at it with all her might. She, of course, doesn’t make a dent in the demonic strength, but she’s got to try something.

If you asked her later, Andy would swear to you that the searing pain that drags along her neck parallel to her jaw line right then is pure Hellfire. Deep down in the darkest recesses of her mind where all the worst truths lurk, she knows she’s feeling the bite from Crowley’s knife, but in that instant all she is aware of is the agony of the wound, of Dean’s enraged roar, and the juxtaposition of Crowley’s gentle touch pressing her own fingers to something hot and slippery under her jaw.

“Hold pressure there, sweetheart, or you’ll bleed out too soon. Wouldn’t want you to miss the finale.”

Her knees buckle, and she drops, but somehow she stays upright long enough to see Crowley’s demons approach out of the darkness. She tries to warn the boys, but time moves with a dreamlike lethargy that betrays every one of her good intentions, and, anyway, her voice doesn’t seem to be working at the moment. The roar of gunfire all around her sounds faint in comparison to the rushing in her ears, and she is powerless to stop Crowley’s plans from reaching fruition.

“You...said...you wouldn’t...”

“Well, pet, you aren’t dead yet, are you? I’ve got, what, at least another three minutes before you snuff it, by my count. Plenty of time to conclude my business with the Winchesters and their featherbrained friend before you expire.”

Though he was right behind her only a moment ago, Crowley appears abruptly next to Castiel, who at the moment is distracted by two lesser demons both wielding machetes. She realizes as she watches Cas easily fend them off that they, just like Andy, are only a distraction, only bait to tempt the bigger players to overextend themselves.

Too late, she sees the perfection of Crowley’s plan. In all the confusion, she loses track of Sam, and she wrenches her eyes away from Dean’s staggering form only to watch as the angel blade in Crowley’s hand bursts through Castiel’s chest. Then her gentle, confused friend is gone in a flash. The demons vanish, and she can’t find Sam or Dean, can’t reach them, can’t make her voice work to call out.

The quiet is wrong, so out of place after the violent cacophony. The roaring is gone, the gunfire silenced, and all that’s left is a terrible wheezing, gurgling sound that takes her too long to recognize as her own labored breathing.

“Crow...ley…”

“I’m here, darling. What do you need?”

“Lying...bastard…”

“Now, now, sweetheart, are those really what you want your last words to be?” He lifts her easily from the ground, carrying her the few yards to where Dean lies sprawled in the dusty gravel. His shirt is stained black in the retreating darkness, and Andy can only be thankful that she won’t make it to sunrise to see what exact shade of red is spreading over him. Dean’s far hand scrabbles on the ground, stopping its frantic search only when it finds his brother’s.

Sam’s still form doesn’t return his brother’s grip.

“After all, I’ve done you a favor; I didn’t have to give you the opportunity to say good-bye. I can’t promise you adjoining cells, but I’m sure your torture will coincide with his occasionally,” Crowley continues conversationally, “so, really, the two of you should be thanking me that you’ll at least get occasional visiting privileges. It pays to be on good terms with the king, after all. And, who knows? After a couple hundred years of good behavior, I might even be persuaded to-”

“Why?” It’s all she can manage as he lays her on the ground. Dean reaches for her with his free hand, and she is just able to find his fingers. Their eyes meet, but her vision is blurring as breathing gets tougher, and she can’t see what he’s mouthing to her. Even his eyes, such a luminescent green only hours ago, are fading into the remaining dark of the night.

“The Winchesters, dear, it’s always been about the Winchesters. Oh, the fanatics and their doomsday ritual were real enough, as was your blood. I just simply took advantage of the situation, as any intelligent monarch would do. Settled things with the apocalypse groupies, rid myself of some major pains in my rear, and now I get you, to boot! I do love when a plan comes together.”

Dean’s fingers tighten in hers, and she tries to grip his back, but the harder she holds on, the less she can feel him.

She’s not really feeling much of anything but cold now.

“Shut...up...already.”

“Always ungrateful in the end, even after everything I do for them,” Crowley grumbles from above her. But then he does shut up, and she finally feels something besides the cold.

Relief. ...

Chapter 5

[glarnboudin]

Tiratola, the Long-Tailed Terror!

Aliases: the Dragon of Etna, the Serpentine Savior, Our Lady of Flame

Date Discovered: May 20th, 1954

Place of Origin: Mt. Etna

Notable Stomping Grounds: Mt. Etna, Messina, Pisa, Stromboli Kaiju Reserve

Height: Generally holds head around 15 meters above the ground, but can rear up to tower at around 34 meters at her tallest.

Length: 115 meters

Biology:

A prehistoric varanid of enormous size from the same lineage that produced Kraydi, Tiratola brings to mind the dragons of yore, slinking and serpentine and adorned with a crown of fearsome crests and horns. Indeed, her Mediterranean location closely matches with depictions of dragons from the ancient Greeks and Romans, although her demeanor is hardly that of a rapacious devourer of maidens and hoarder of gold.

Rather than her jaws, Tiratola’s primary weapon of choice is her tail - even for a reptile, hers is incredibly long and dexterous, making up more than half of her total body length and as flexible and powerful as the body of any snake. With it, she can lash at targets several hundred feet away, coil and constrict her opponents, and even pick up and hurl objects as big as buildings or handle very small objects with the very tip of the tail like an elephant’s trunk. Indeed, her style of combat is very similar to that of the American kaiju Gorgolisk, preferring to coil and constrict her opponents with her powerful body.

As a kaiju, Tiratola also sports a fairly standard powerset:

Super strength

An enhanced healing factor

Immunity to radiation

She also has one more trick up her sleeve - like many other prehistoric varanids as well as Tyrantis himself, the Terror of Italia sports venom glands within her jaws that she can either ‘chew’ into her opponents or spray like a spitting cobra, and like Tyrantis, this venom has further honed into a flammable compound like something out of the pages of myth and legend.

Of course, comparing Tiratola’s fire spitting with Tyrantis’ flaming breath would be akin to comparing a firecracker with a flamethrower - rather than napalm-like torrents of ignited venom, the enormous reptile’s sprayed venom ignites into a cloud of scalding sparks and embers that explodes outwards in a shotgun-like blast with a loud crack and a blinding flash. While it’s not the best at actually damaging opponents, it still stings and burns quite painfully for targets, especially if hit in the eyes and other sensitive areas, and the sharp rapport of the venom combusting can cause a few seconds of disorientation. Injecting the stuff into the bodies of opponents, however, produces rather more grisly results as it reacts with oxygen in the bloodstream, causing the wounds inflicted by her teeth to burst open a few seconds after she lets go. To a kaiju’s durability and regeneration, it’s not nearly as harmful as it looks unless Tiratola injects a truly immense amount of venom or her opponent is considerably smaller than herself, but it’s still quite painful to experience.

History & Personality:

When the Superquake of ‘54 rocked the world, the actual tremors weren’t the only force behind the resulting destruction - tidal waves lashed the coasts, avalanches and rockslides buried towns, and a number of already-rumbling volcanoes were roused to erupt once more, pushing up not only molten material but all manner of strange new landforms forged from the Yamaneon tunnels beneath the earth. Home to several volcanoes as they are, Greece and Italy were particularly subject to this, disgorging an assortment of subterranean environments alongside quite a number of kaiju. Among them was the great reptile Tiratola - emerging from the volcanic aftermath of Mt. Etna, the serpentine saurian made herself known to the public at large when she swept through the outskirts of Messina and smothered a major fire when she settled herself on top of it for warmth, inadvertently saving much of the city from burning to the ground. In the aftermath of the fire, she would go on to save even more lives as she nosed around the rubble, unearthing nearly two dozen people that had been trapped beneath fallen debris.

Since her awakening, Tiratola has come to roam across Italy and Greece, frequently digging people out of rubble wherever she went and frequently engaging smaller mutants emerging from local Yamaneon tunnels as well as the occasional full-on kaiju - her most famous scuffles include preying upon a hoard of Paleozoic invertebrates that emerged from a Carboniferous swamp in the Greek Kassandra Peninsula and engaging a hulking one-eyed hominid kaiju that had been menacing the city of Taranto, dragging it down to its doom beneath the waves before it could do anything worse than superficial damage to buildings. Aside from an incident involving the Leaning Tower of Pisa, she’s been responsible for relatively little destruction, and has become somewhat of a local hero to the populace of the regions, something that Tiratola has come to notice.

Low to the ground as she is, the Whip-Tailed Terror is by her nature literally closer to human beings than many other kaiju, and is more aware of their activities as a result. She’s come to recognize how people react to her presence and realizes how easily she can reshape the tiny world that she now finds herself in. Were she a more malevolent sort, this awareness and her ability to easily wind through city streets could potentially make her an incredibly dangerous thrat to human beings, but the ultimate result of this is that Tiratola has come to realize that she quite enjoys the attention and praise she gets from acts of heroism. Being a reptile, she is by nature a very energy-efficient creature, conserving her strength when she does need to exert herself… but being a kaiju, acts of aid towards humans are trivially easy for her. A couple sweeps of her tail can smother a major fire beneath dirt and water and pulling people from danger can be easily accomplished by simply pushing her head into, say, a burning building and using her keen senses to locate survivors in the same way that modern varanids break into termite mounds and locate warm chambers to lay their eggs in or mother crocodiles dig out their young from nests. It costs little to the great reptile to lend her aid to others, and the reward for doing so is more than worth it - adoration and cheers whenever she enters a populated area, occasional offerings of fish and other treats, even occasional cleanings by teams of volunteers that scrub her down and aid in peeling off any lingering bits of unshed skin. The latter task has also provided another boon to the people of Greece and Italy - analysis of Tiratola’s shed skin has shed a lot of light on kaiju cellular biology, and the scales themselves are durable enough to be shaped and worked like metal or glass, fostering a small but lucrative industry of decorative items made from the kaiju’s scales.

However, there may also be another reason for her gentleness towards humans - while unearthing survivors from rubble, Tiratola frequently makes vocalizations not unlike those of crocodilian and alligator parents when unearthing their buried young, even scooping them up in her jaws in a similar fashion to carry them to safety. It may be that trapped survivors reminds the the whip-tailed dragon of her own offspring, buried in sand and soil - joint Reptodite-human expeditions into the collapsed tunnels where the kaiju emerged have even found the crystallized remains of ruined nests and cracked eggs, suggesting that she may have produced several clutches of offspring before via parthenogenesis in the same manner as some species of monitor lizard, although none seem to have survived. 

Behind the Scenes:

Behold, my entry to @tyrantisterror ’s ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3D, Tiratola! I’ve entered both of his previous contests, and I didn’t want to miss out here, although this is admittedly my first time posting one here to Tumblr; there’s a bunch of really creative kaiju already entered into the competition, and I highly recommend checking them out. My entry really isn’t the best by far (I wanted to make Tiratola a lot lengthier and more serpentine, but I didn’t have the space to do it, and I can’t really do detail work for shit), but I’m still reasonably happy with how my girl Tiratola came out!

Tiratola is meant to be an homage to that tried-and-true staple of the monster movie genre - movie companies from other countries trying to cash in on a trend! It’s how the world got creatures like Gorgo, Paleosaurus, and Reptilicus - creatures whose movies were far from the source material, but were packaged as being the same thing in their posters and translated titles overseas, leading to weirdness like Godzilla vs Mothra becoming ‘Watang and the Fabulous Kingdom of Monsters’ in its Italian release, the infamous cut of ‘The Volcano Monsters,’ and so on. As such, she takes the basic concept of Tyrantis - ‘giant green prehistoric reptilian monster with a long tail and horns that breathes fire’, and reconstructs it through that lens. To that end, she’s also somewhat based on slurpasaurs and on cheap rubber props, staples of Italian monster cinema.

Designwise, I based her quite heavily on, well, monitor lizards as well as the classic LEGO dragon model plus the movie poster design for Reptilicus - both are a nice combination of reptilian features that doesn’t really lend itself to any particular order, with Kraydi factoring in as another reference. Indeed, Tiratola’s meant to be a cousin to that kaiju, another of the varanid lizard lineage that would have lead to dragons and their kin in the Lost Epoch - she’s meant to be a bit farther down that evolutionary line than Kraydi is, but still not exactly a direct ancestor.

I was struggling to get a feel for Tiratola’s personality at first, but I managed to get something when I reread ATOM and the way that its reptilian stars think, plus some takes on protective dragons and why they defend humans so much smaller and weaker than they. A big part of this series is about how the kaiju are far more intelligent and empathetic than they let on - I thought it’d be neat to play off of that. While her motivations come from a very different place than they would in a human being or a similar creature, the end result is still the same: if it feels good to help others, and doing so is relatively easy, why not do so? I also added a good deal of Ogra and Reptisaurus as well - I figured it would be only fitting.

The thing about her visiting Pisa is a nod to Dinosaurs Attack, the card where the Rhedosaurus and Giant Behemoth teamed up to destroy the Leaning Tower, while her battle with the giant is taken from the battle between the dragon Taro and the Cyclops in The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad. The date of her discovery is also the date that Reptilicus was released in theaters, albeit moved back a few years.

[crackinglamb]

You Have Chosen Nydha To Be Your Companion!

Hopping off @little-lightning-lavellan's idea to take a DA:I OC and turn them into a companion, may I present Banal'ras Nydha (from Hope Is a Fragile Thing) and her wiki page.

General

Banal'ras Nydha looks human, although there is something that doesn't seem quite right about her. She has dark hair and skin and startlingly green eyes, and speaks with a low, raspy voice. It is often difficult to find her in a room. Nydha first appears, and is available to recruit, in the Temple of Sacred Ashes before attempting to close the Breach. She offers knowledge and combat tactics against demons. If dismissed, or never spoken to, she will then be spotted in Haven behind Solas's cabin. She will not be available to recruit at that time, although once the Inquisition is relocated to Skyhold, she will make an offer to travel with the Inquisitor. If dismissed again, she will become a non-interactive NPC in the Rotunda, usually found near the mural or atop the scaffolding. If she is never recruited, she will disappear from Skyhold after the final battle with Corypheus.

Nydha is not romanceable by any Inquisitor, but can engage in a relationship with Solas if a female Dalish Inquisitor has not done so. She is friendly and bonds well with most of the other party members, especially Cole, Dorian and, of course, Solas. She prefers diplomacy and tends towards mediation rather than confrontation. If a Dalish Inquisitor has romanced Solas, and has high approval, Nydha will offer comfort and sympathy upon termination of the relationship. If low approval, Nydha has nothing to say.

She has strong opinions on the plight of elves, slaves and mages. She is supportive of any measures that would improve the lives of them. Her early banter with Dorian revolves around debating Tevinter's practices and trying to get him to see a better way. She will also speak with Iron Bull about the shortcomings of the Qun, although never with the same level of disdain as Solas. While she never openly mocks the Chantry or Andrastianism, she isn't a strong supporter or believer and has no opinion on who becomes Divine.

Location

In Haven, Nydha can be found behind Solas's cabin, usually in the darkest corner. Once the Inquisition relocates to Skyhold, she can be found in either the Arcane Library or the Rotunda.

Approval

Nydha's approval level is based upon empathy. An Inquisitor who is helpful, respectful and curious will gain approval. Nydha has no opinion on quests such as Wicked Eyes, Wicked Hearts or the outcome of Here Lies the Abyss, but approves diplomatic resolutions to judgments. She will greatly approve allying with the Free Mages, and only slightly approve conscripting the Templars. Conscription of the Free Mages or allying with the Templars will result in full disapproval. She will greatly approve Iron Bull becoming Tal-Vashoth and keeping Cole as a spirit. Actions that are ruthless or cruel will lose approval.

A high approval Inquisitor will learn that Nydha was born in another world and 'crossed over' through the Veil when the Breach opened. She will tell the Inquisitor that her name was given to her as a gift from someone she met in the Fade. She does not, however, say that it is Solas (see below for unique Trespasser dialogue). She will say that her name means 'Shadow of Night', according to her translation. A Dalish Inquisitor can have special dialogue to recognize the name as being Elvish and can question how a human came to have it. Nydha will answer that it is because the native language of the Fade is Elvish, a remnant from when elves held all of Thedas before human arrival.

A low approval Inquisitor will not learn this part of her history and she will remain an enigma. If approval falls to zero, she will refuse to speak to the Inquisitor, although she does not leave and is still available as a companion.

Quests

Survivor In the Shadows – the quest for meeting Nydha initially at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. It begins upon speaking with her, and ends with either recruitment or dismissal.

From the Ashes – only available after either In Hushed Whispers or Champions of the Just, but before completion of In Your Heart Shall Burn, Nydha will ask the Herald to accompany her back to the Temple of Sacred Ashes to search for her few belongings. The Herald will find a journal, a bundle of unusual clothes and a single unmarked vial. Nydha will approve completing this quest.

A Better Form – Nydha will ask for help in stabilizing her corporeal body if Dagna is brought into the Inquisition. Resolution of this quest will involve having Dagna create a unique amulet that will act as a permanent grounding source, rather like a lightning rod. Components for this amulet are: 1 blank rune stone, 1 wisp essence, and either 5 dawnstone or 5 volcanic aurum (both imbue constitution bonuses). It will act as an Amulet of Power, granting Nydha an extra skill point. This is the only time such an ability will be available to her. This will also allow her to wear other amulets throughout the remainder of the game. She, and Solas, will greatly approve completing this quest.

Twice-Born – available during the Jaws of Hakkon DLC. Nydha, if in the party, will ask to speak with the Augur of Stone-Bear Hold once relations with the hold have been established. If she is not among the Inquisitor's party, she will be found in the main scout camp near Professor Kenric. What the two speak about will be unknown, but at the end of the quest, Nydha will inform the Inquisitor that she has been given the legend-mark Twice-Born from the hold's 'gods'. Cole will greatly approve completing this quest, regardless of whether or not he is in the party.

Note: This quest is not dependent upon approval, but is the only time she will speak with a zeroed out Inquisitor, should that level of low approval be reached.

Ability Tree/Specialization

Nydha is technically a rogue, and can utilize either a bow or double daggers. She has an autolevel preference for the Subterfuge tree, and has an additional, unique starting skill in Fade Cloak. This does not require further leveling to be active. It is the only skill that cannot be deactivated from her skillset.

She can specialize in either Tempest or Rift Mage, due to her nature as a being from the Fade. She is not otherwise a mage. Her decision on specialization can be influenced, as she will ask the Inquisitor's opinion. If no opinion is given, she will default to taking Tempest.

Combat comments

“Come get some!”

“Catch me if you can!”

(If specialized in Tempest) “Burn, baby, burn.”

(If specialized in Rift Mage) “Ooh, the stuff of nightmares.”

Kills an enemy

“Another one bites the dust.”

“Cool story, bro.”

“Then perish.”

Low Health

“This was not on my agenda today.”

“A little help?”

Low Health (Companions)

For all general companions: “I have your back.”

If in a romance with Solas: “Take a breather, fenorain.”

Fallen Companions

For all general companions: “I'll make them pay!”

If in a romance with Solas: “NO!”

Location Comments

Ferelden:

Hinterlands: “Why is it so big? Why is everything so big?”

Fallow Mire: “I have mud in unmentionable places. Can we go now?”

Storm Coast: “I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and sky.”

If companions question her: “It's just from a poem I once read.”

Orlais:

Exalted Plains: “So much death. Can't you feel it?”

Emerald Graves: “This forest is old. Very old.” [laughs] “I always wanted to say that in proper context.”

Emprise du Lion: “Stay away from the bloody lyrium. And wear a hat.”

At Suledin Keep after Imshael, if Solas is in the party: “Ir abelas, lethallin.” (If romanced) Ir abelas, fenorain.”

Solas's reply (only translated if the Inquisitor is Dalish): “Ma serannas. Ea lam'an.” (It is in the past)

At the Pools of the Sun, regarding the trio of dragons: “Can't we just leave them alone? They really won't hurt anyone if we keep our distance.”

Hissing Waste: “You know, if you ignore the endless vista of sand, it's really quite beautiful. In a bleak kind of way.”

Western Approach: “Hot. Hot and blighted. I need a drink.”

Forbidden Oasis, upon reaching the second camp: “That's it, I'm never leaving.”

Arbor Wilds: “Mind your footing. This place is full of secrets.”

In Val Royeaux: “Pretty place.”

Frostback Basin: “I could stay here forever. Even with the varmints.”

The Descent: “Nice and dark, just the way I like it.”

At the Wellspring: “Wow...that's amazing.”

Trespasser: “Now it all ends, my friend.”

If the Inquisitor questions the statement: “You'll see soon enough.”

Companion/Advisor comments

Varric – Gotta watch out for Spooky, there's something about her I can't put my finger on.

Cassandra – She is an able fighter, but I would not trust her out of my sight, which is far too often.

Solas – She is secretive by nature, but I would assure you that she means no harm.

Iron Bull – She's a tricky one. Good fighter, lotta secrets. Good at keeping them too. I don't think I've cracked a single one that she didn't tell me herself.

Dorian – She's fascinating. I am not at liberty to say why, of course, if you don't already know.

Cole – Bright as the sun and scattered as the stars. She wants to help, just like I do.

Vivienne – She seems capable enough, my dear. But I would not dare to trust her. She is an accomplished player of the Game, for all her smiles and good cheer.

Sera – She's as bad as Creepy, although she's better at jokes. She's better at hiding than I am!

Blackwall – She knows something. She knows too many somethings.

Josephine – She keeps to herself and has caused no diplomatic incidents. I wish I could say the same for some of the others gathered here.

Leliana – I find it curious that I cannot find any solid evidence of her existence before the Conclave, but that does not automatically mark her a spy. However, her nature makes me no more inclined to trust her. I would be wary of her.

Cullen – Who? Oh, the...shadowy...person. I hear she can handle herself. I can't say I've spoken with her, so I don't have an opinion.

Trespasser

There is a unique dialogue tree available to the Inquisitor while speaking with Solas if Nydha was recruited as a companion.

“Did you know about Nydha?”

“Yes, I am the one who gave her her name. I found her while I yet slept, and she became corporeal after the Breach.”

(First branch) “Is she one of your agents?”

“No. She has only ever been my friend.”

(Special, if not romanced) “Your friend? It seemed to be more than that.”

“In another world, perhaps.”

(Second branch) “Is she joining you?”

“No, I would not wish her on this path.”

(Third branch) “She knew this whole time. Why didn't she tell me?”

“She had her reasons for not telling you. (If high approval) I hope you will not hold them against her.”

Regardless of approval, Nydha disappears after the Exalted Council. She settles in the Frostback Basin among the Avvar. A high approval Inquisitor will receive correspondence from her from time to time, but she will refuse to come back to the 'civilized' nations of Thedas, preferring privacy and isolation.

Trivia

If in the party during Here Lies the Abyss, the Nightmare demon will speak to her in Elvish. Her reply is a scoff and nothing else.

Nydha can be a third option at the Vir'Abelasan if she is in the party. If she is chosen to drink from the Well, Abelas does not object, although he will still point out that she will be bound as they are. If Nydha drinks, she will summon Flemeth and work with the Inquisitor to tame the dragon for the final confrontation with Corypheus. If she is in the party during Trespasser, she will be able to provide the password to the spirit guards, preventing a fight.

If Morrigan is allowed to attack Abelas, she will attempt to defend him and will argue that the witch is not worthy of the knowledge she seeks if brutality is her only way to get it. If there is a peaceful alliance with the Sentinels and Morrigan is chosen to drink, Nydha will slightly disapprove but hold her tongue on the matter.

If the Inquisitor drank from the Well, and succeeds in finding enough clues to determine that Solas is Fen'Harel, Nydha will appear saddened when the Inquisitor rebuts to the Viddasala that they already know. She will state that this was what she'd been waiting for. The Inquisitor will have the option to accuse her of knowing the whole time. She will answer yes, but she won't explain.

If Nydha is never recruited, and remains an NPC in the Rotunda, one will hear her occasionally speak with Solas. These conversations range in topic from books they are reading to the mural. Never about Inquisition business. There is a slight chance to hear them speaking in Elvish, and their words are not translated, regardless of Inquisitor's race. Solas's replies appear to be noncommittal.

Nydha will remark upon the Inquisitor's romantic choices, usually with something supportive and a hope that they are happy together. She will also comment something generally pleasant about each companion if asked. The exception to this is if Iron Bull remains Ben-Hassrath. Nydha will caution the Inquisitor to be careful of telling him too much since his loyalty is now unknown.

It can be implied from various interactions and from high approval conversation that Nydha was in fact aware of everything that would happen during the course of the game. She never gives a reason for keeping her silence on matters pertaining to what foreknowledge she had, although any input given during the game events is sound and often given in such a way so as not to risk suspicion.

It can also be implied that regardless of what Solas says during Trespasser, Nydha has actually left the Inquisition to join his ranks, or at least does not stand opposed to him. This is not confirmed, however, and according to her epilogue card, she is enjoying a quiet life in the Frostback Basin with no intention of ever interfering with Thedosian politics or events again.

[severelybabykryptonite]

Spellbound (A Richonne Magical Moment)

A/N: For the Richonnefics October Word Table.  Yes, I’m totally late but better late than never right?  I hope you enjoy. 

The cobbled street was busy with activity as excited shoppers moved from vendor to vendor, perusing the different and unique wares, crafts, arts, and designs.  The newly organized trade market was off to a grand start and one particular shopper could not be prouder.  She is the one who pushed her friends towards entrepreneurship, knowing that the items she usually received for free would be a huge draw for a lot of customers.  She looks around with a knowing smile, imagining what the success could possibly lead to.  Even the nearby bakery, diner, and bookstore were getting more business.

She steps to a vendor she doesn’t recognize with an array of beautiful handmade scarves.  She is a sucker for silky, smooth material to wrap herself in.  She touches a sheer, teal colored scarf, allowing the material to slide over her open hand.  She gasps as a tingling sensation starts from the top of her head and races down her body, leaving her slightly shaken.  She blinks several times and places a hand to her stomach to calm herself.  She looks to her left and then to her right, wondering what could have caused such a sudden and never before experienced reaction.

A spirited laugh rings out and the sensation returns eliciting another gasp as she swings around, searching for the source of the laughter.  Her eyes roam the square and she hones in as the laugh sounds again. This time, lighter but drawing her in all the same.  She spots a dark haired gentleman seated at a table on the cemented walk right outside the eatery.  He is accompanied by three others and they are all dressed in law enforcement uniforms.

She tilts her head out of curiosity and focuses on the man who drew her attention.  She searches the people around her, ensuring that no one is watching then draws a deep breath and attempts to delve into his mind to find out who he is.  Her concentration falters as she encounters a wall of forbidding black.  She scoffs and shakes her head, readjusting her focus. Her second attempt is a failure as well and now her heart begins to race.  She swallows deeply as her nerves start to fray.  What the hell?  She has always been able to read people, young, old, male, female so why couldn’t she divulge anything from this guy?  He drew her attention for a reason and now there is some sort of block?  She panics and wonders if her magic is starting to fade.

She quickly turns her attention to the guy seated next to him and offers an audible sigh of relief as he is an open book, full of color and laughter.  For good measure, she delves into the mind of another gentleman at the table and quickly pushes his thoughts away.  He was vividly recalling his passionate night before with a woman he’d met at a bar.  She gives herself a shuddering shake to dispel the images she grasped.  

She starts to relax, realizing that her gift is as prevalent as ever but can’t help the worry that eases in as her eyes travel back to the guy with the nice laugh.  She suddenly remembers her surroundings and tries to return to the scarves she was admiring moments before.  Curiosity gets the best of her so she concentrates on the guy once again.  She lets out a groan of frustration as the forbidding black wall reappears.  This is a first for her and she doesn’t understand what is happening.  Who is he?

She grabs a couple of scarves and asks the vendor, “How much?”  She pulls several bills from her wallet, utters, “Keep the change,” and starts to make her way towards the parking area.  She looks back at the table to see the gentlemen preparing to leave. She is tempted to try one last time but before she can even blink or think, a pair of bright blue eyes lock in on her worried brown ones and the world around her disappears.  The tingling sensation envelopes her body once again and tiny flutters dance in her abdomen.  He smiles and she turns her head, confused by her reaction.  This guy is dangerous.  She increases her pace, seeking out her car as a welcome place of refuge.

She struggles with what to do as part of her wants to return to the square and ask this guy who he is while the other part of her is saying to get as far away as possible.  The latter wins out as she starts her vehicle and steers it toward the shelter of her home.

XXXXXXXXXX

“Rick you coming?”

The voice of his partner draws him back to the task at hand as he returns his attention to their table and his deputy’s hat resting on it.  He places the hat on his head and looks back at the spot the beautiful woman just vacated.  His eyes instinctively search for her but he realizes she is gone and decides to forget about the hairs raising on his arms when his eyes connected with hers.  It was a strange sensation, one he’d never quite experienced before but the feeling was gone and she was gone so he left his thoughts there at the eatery.

He laughs as Shane pats him on the back with a smile and the four of them move off to their squad cars.

Later that night, long after his shift ends, he is in bed tossing and turning and muttering in his sleep as the brown eyed beauty visits him in his dreams.  She is a vision of pure perfection as she appears to float towards him, wearing a sheer flowing gown.  He drops his eyes to her chest expecting to be pleasantly surprised by a pair of ample breasts.  To his disappointment, he can’t make anything out even as his eyes drop lower.  She smiles when he meets her gaze again, almost as if she knows exactly what he is thinking.  Who are you?  Desperation rises in him as he awaits her answer. Instead she approaches him and he has to look up to see her face.  She circles him, her hand stretching forward but there is no connection.  His eyes follow her, afraid to miss a moment.  Tell me please.  She reaches for his face and leans in to kiss him.  His anticipation and desire rush to the forefront and he lifts himself higher in an effort to reach her.  Just when her lips were about to touch his, a blaring beeping noise sounds, pulling him from his slumber.

He slaps a hand onto the dismiss button of the annoying alarm clock and sighs heavily as he looks up to the ceiling, questioning his dreams.  He has to know who this woman is.  He won’t rest until he has some answers.

Meanwhile, the woman in question is tossing and turning in her sleep.  She sits up with a gasp and reaches for her bedside lamp.  The light reveals the calmness and emptiness of her room and a frustrated groan escapes her as she recalls her dream.  Those blue eyes and dark hair reappeared in her subconscious and now she can’t help but worry even more.  She thought she could forget what happened today but that is not the case.  She realizes who she has to talk to and makes plans to leave first thing in the morning.

XXXXXXXXXX

Her grandmother opens the door with a tsk.  “What’s got you so spooked?  Dark circles under your eyes…..not a good look Mimi.”

“Something’s happening,” Michonne relays.  “I just don’t know what.”

“Well come on in and tell Gma all about it,” her grandmother offers.

Once they’re inside and seated, Michonne starts to relay the event from yesterday.  “I was at the market   and I got this funny feeling.”  She realizes she has to downplay it as her grandmother loves to get dramatic. “There was….there was this guy and he looked at me and I got that feeling again so…..”

“Well dang you ever heard of attraction?”

Michonne rolls her eyes then takes a deep breath and rushes out, “I couldn’t read him.”

The eyebrows on her grandmother’s forehead lift with curiosity as she whispers, “What?”

“I said I couldn’t read him. I tried more than once but it was like there was some sort of block or something.”  She looks directly into her grandmother’s eyes.  “I thought I had lost it but I could read the other men he was seated with.  So it’s just…..him.”

Her grandmother nods her head thoughtfully.  “Are you dreaming about him?”

The panic in her granddaughter’s eyes answers that question.

“Does it mean something?” MIchonne asks anxiously.

“Well it could but this has never happened before.”  Gma answers. “Not in my lifetime.”

“What hasn’t?”

“The bonding.  Our history tells of a man and woman connected throughout time, living in different worlds but always connecting.  They somehow find each other and….”

“Let me stop you there. This is not a harlequin romance,” Michonne interrupts.

Her grandmother gives her an exasperated look and says, “Do I look like I’m making this up?”

“No but….it just doesn’t make sense.  I wasn’t able to read him and….”

“Maybe that’s why. He’s your soulmate and you won’t be able to manipulate him like you can others,” Gma relays.

“I don’t manipulate people. I’ve never used my gift to harm anyone,” Michonne states.

“I know but maybe this is the universe telling you this is what you need from the man you’ll fall for.”

Gma watches her granddaughter absorb that information then turn nervous eyes to her.

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Beats me,” Gma says as she shrugs her shoulders.  “Was he cute?”

“That has nothing to do with it.”

“I’ll take that as a yes and seeing how spooked you are, I’d wager he’s a fine specimen of a man.” Her grandmother gives her a knowing look.  “Girl, you are in trouble.”

Michonne spends the remainder of the day with her grandmother, perusing through the giant books of lore about her family and others with special gifts.  There was only a small paragraph about bonding and it was exactly what her grandmother had already told her.  It was clear there hadn’t been many occurrences of this so called bonding so Michonne decided she wasn’t going to worry about it.  At least, she was going to try not to.  She knew there was hardly any chance of her seeing this gentleman again and she was obviously overreacting.  Right?

She gives her grandmother a hug and a kiss and promises to visit again soon before she walks to her car and drives away.

The next week passes by in a blur but Michonne continues to dream of the dark haired guy.  The dreams were like watching a new movie each night. It was him.  Always him but the time era was different for each encounter. The one thing she can’t brush off is that each and every time, she saw herself with him.  They were deeply in love and no matter the time or place, it was him and it was her….together.

XXXXXXXXXX

Rick sat at his desk, images of the brown eyed woman bombarding his every waking moment.  He can’t stop thinking about her or dreaming about her.  He has to know who she is and he has to know now.  He realizes his only recourse is to return to the restaurant where he saw her before.  He knows there is a slim chance he will see her again, but he has to try something. Otherwise, he might go crazy.

He was too preoccupied to invite Shane so he ventures to the restaurant alone.  He seats himself at the same table, checks his watch to ensure that he was there at the precise time he saw her before, and settles in to wait patiently.  He looks around and notices the same vendors as before and hopes fervently that she shows up.  Surely there is an explanation as to why she has been appearing in his dreams each and every night since he saw her.  He needs to know what’s going on.

He is startled as a slight wind ruffles his hair and a soft gasp seems to caress his ear.  He looks up and sees the woman from his dreams standing several feet away from him.  She seems to be rooted to the spot she was standing in, staring at him as if she couldn’t believe he was there.

He immediately realizes there was no way he could have heard her gasp from where she was standing but he can’t deny what he heard.  He lifts himself from his chair, carrying his sheriff’s hat in his hand, and starts to walk towards her.

Michonne is telling herself to turn and walk away but finds she can’t.  The man she thought she’d never see again is making his way directly to her and she couldn’t tear her eyes away.  She takes him all in as he runs a hand through his hair before placing the wide brimmed hat on his head.  He stops in front of her and gives her a shy smile.

He searches her soft brown eyes before greeting her quietly, “Hey.”

“Hi.”

His eyes drop to her lips. “Would you like to get a cup of coffee?”

She can’t read him but she knows they almost kiss each and every night in her dreams.  She hones in on her feelings of anticipation and desire, her heart racing like never before.  On impulse, she steps to him and places her lips on his.  

The shock of kissing a stranger or being kissed by one never registers for either of them.  His hands go to her waist and he pulls her closer, deepening their connection.  Suddenly, there is a burst of light behind their eyes and a merging of their deepest desires, their dreams, their wants, their needs.  He opens up to her like a book waiting to be read and she drinks him in all the while pouring out what she knows and feels into him.

All too soon the kiss ends and they stand on the cobbled street, resting their foreheads together. He swallows nervously, trying his best not to be intimidated by everything that just happened.  Her heart is near to bursting, she is so happy to know who he is.  He is definitely her soulmate and Gma was right about the bonding.  She can feel the questions bubbling up inside of him as he is unaware of any family history that involves magic.

She takes his hand in hers and tells him, “I will answer anything you ask but we can’t do it here.” She leads him to her car.  “I can take you to my grandmother.  She’ll know more about this than I can tell you.”

He searches her eyes again. “Tomorrow.  Can we see your grandmother tomorrow?  Right now, I just want to catch up with you.  It’s been centuries.”

She smiles widely and leans in to kiss him once again.

[the-river-person]

I’m going to have to make a list of these eventually. But know that the world in “The Alleyway” is now considered "open for use"  or “Community Shared” without the need to request permission from the creator (me) though I’d like to be tagged and credited still. Name of Au: WarrenTale Creator: the-river-person Date of Appearance: Aug 1st, 2021 Universe: WarrenTale is a Universe where Monsters and Humans live freely together within the four major cities of the Claustra Alliance. The Alliance is ruled over by an Emperor who mostly allows the city officials or rulers to each do as they see fit. Citizens are not allowed to leave the confines of the cities, which are large enough to be mostly comfortable for a lot of people, except by special rail cars which carry people to the other cities. The reason for this confinement is the Corruption. A supposed poison or infection that covers the land and deadens it, rendering it blackened or grey, and everything on it that is infected. The official reports state that the Corruption originated during the Human and Monster War and that in order to survive, Humans and Monsters formed an emergency peace treaty and created the cities with magic and technology, thus diverging WarrenTale from the main course of events of Undertale. Each city is supposed to corespond to one of the original Game’s main areas. Vandfald, the only named city thus far, is based on the Waterfall Area and features a city of colossal towers that carry layers of open-air streets and numerous districts. This cluster of towers stands in a deep gorge whose depths cannot be seen from above. Water is pumped in from below and put to use all over the city to generate power, the canals then dump it back down into the gorge via massive waterfalls. The city’s drinking and bathing water is pumped in specially to prevent any Corruption. There is still technology in this world, but its either primitive stuff or very very advanced. Little of the stuff we’d recognize remains unless its scavenged from outside the Cities and repaired to be sold by illegal merchants. The Warren is a set of twisted labyrinthine streets that are home to vagrants and vagabonds, shady dealers, persecuted minorities, criminals of various kinds, and pretty much most outcasts from the Cities. They are built to resemble the streets and styles of all four of the Cities, but are actually quite far away from all of them. Technology and Magic as old as the War was scavenged, rebuilt, and used to make numerous Gateways and Posterns that lead into the Four Cities in various locations. In the event of an incursion, these gateways can be shut down to cut off access. Denizens of the Warren see themselves as apart from the Cities and the Emperor’s rule, though not everyone sees themselves as a rebellion. Characters: Frisk: A Gender Neutral child of about twelve years of age who lives with the Dreemurr Family after having been adopted through the system at a young age (a deeply traumatic experience). Though the Dreemurrs are not cruel people and would never try to hurt anyone, they are not the most ideal parents and can sometimes be both neglectful and controlling. Madame Toriel: A charming woman, but somewhat overzealous about what she terms “climbing the social ladder”. This entails hosting large dinners and galas with all sorts of important people, especially Minister Sans. The Minister is of particular importance to her because he is Minister of Finance and Commerce for the City of Vandfald, and the Dreemurr family owns a budding trading company. She may be sweet on Sans, but its difficult to tell whether that’s real or merely a product of her ambitions. Though she sees herself as benevolent and kindly, she likes to have things her way and can aggressively micromanage everyone around her until she’s satisfied. Azzy: The child of Madame Toriel and Master Asgore. Suffers from neglect and is often ill and anxious. Whenever he’s well enough he likes to spend time out in the extensive gardens around the family house and sometimes to visit the city gardens. His favorite flower is a kind of golden blossom whose name he hasn’t found out yet, though he’s memorized the names of every other flower in the city. Master Asgore: A monster consumed by his desire for wealth, left a shell of himself. He is always working, always trying to make better trades, make new profitable deals. Driven by the need to provide a “better” life for his family, he is neglectful and absent. Though others might think him friendly and charming, he is solely focused on rising up in the world. Always rising, but never really stopping, never finding that enough is enough, and slowly losing the very things he’s certain that he’s caring for. Doggo: Surprisingly he’s an old University Professor, fired for teaching his students about dissenting views against the Alliance, the Cities, and the Emperor, about pre war history and philosophy, and about a number of things the city officials decided were “deliberately harmful to the prospects of students by taking up their time with unnecessary and outdated or irrelevant studies.” (In other words, they didn’t want to say he was a threat to the state so he got the boot). He still keeps in contact with several of his students, one of whom is Minister Sans of Vandfald City. Doggo now lives in the Warrens, and has printed several books with his knowledge (all banned by the Emperor after copies were found and confiscated by city law enforcement) under various pseudonyms. Minister Sans: For all appearances he is a respectable and upstanding Citizen. He oversees trade and business for Vandfald as well as setting the government’s budgets. However he is also well aware of the Warrens and is actively engaged in a growing resistance to the control of the Emperor. He is not publicly known to have a brother, but he cares very deeply for Papyrus and ensures that he always has more than enough to live on despite the fact they rarely see one another anymore. Papyrus: The Doorkeeper. Papyrus is rarely seen in person, spending almost all of his time in his home, hidden deep in the lower levels of Vandfald City’s towers. He has control of the mechanisms that maintain the entrances to the Warrens. Individual gates and doors can be shut by someone nearby in the Warrens. But this lonely skeleton holds the key to shut or open any or all of them whenever he wishes. How he ended up in charge of this is unknown, but he’s made it his life’s work to keep the Warrens free and the refugees living there safe. He spends so much time alone, watching the gateways, that it consumes him, driving him half mad. Sitting in the dark and staring at screens from ancient computers as old as the War of Humans and Monsters. Sans visits rarely, and ensures he has money and food and anything else he wants. Aron and Catty: Two married monsters who live in the Warrens. Traders and merchants, they sell illegally scavenged and repaired technology from the badlands beyond the city. Aron is a very handsome aquatic monster with muscular features and comes off as a used car salesman. He is deeply devoted to his Cat Monster wife and would do anything for her. She is only slightly resentful towards their situation, having come from a moderately wealthy family, but loves him just as fiercely. Despite this, they quarrel constantly, and she whacks him with whatever is on hand (really he doesn’t mind this and they both know it. It’s more for the show of getting their frustrations out.) Chilldrake: Child of the Drake family, a family who runs a restaurant in Vandfald City. His friends include Azzy, Frisk, a mouse (whose father works in the restaurant), and a monster named Suzy. Can I use this AU in my story/comic/video/art?: Yes. I only ask that I be tagged and credited! So I can come see what cool stuff you did! Can I write a story/comic or make a video for this AU that tells its story?: Sure. I don’t have a story for it. I might come back and do a one shot or two. But all stories for it are equally canon. Is Mistral Sans an official part of this AU?: He is not. Mistral visited, and ended up giving advice to Frisk and Azzy. But he won’t interfere with events here, and has told them not to mention him to anyone. He might offer them one or two pieces of advice if they really need it, but its likely he’ll be long gone before the story draws to its close. He’s just here to see what this Universe is like. Will you answer questions about this AU’s characters, places, and history?: Sure. I’d love to. Just send an ask and if I have an answer, I’ll let you know. Or if I never thought about that, I can probably figure it out in order to answer.

[feralphoenix]

BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE NOT PREPARED TO TRY

if you’re following my blog or if you read my fanfiction, you may have seen me talking in tags or comments about how the radiance hollowknight was a pacifist. “feral, wtf?” you may have thought. “she’s the freaking final boss and tries really, really hard to kill you and all her attacks do 2 entire masks damage. where on earth do you get pacifism out of that???”

to you specifically i say, that’s an understandable reaction! the short version of how i got here was that i started thinking about the story implications of radi not inflicting contact damage and took a deep dive into game mechanics and lore. when i came up for air i had made myself Very Sad.

if this intrigues you and you would like to know more, come along with me, i am happy to point out the things i noticed and share the Big Sad around.

this essay is also available on dreamwidth for accessibility purposes, since my layout’s text may be too small for folks on pc with high-res screens.

CONTENT WARNING: This essay discusses pseudo-zombie plagues and associated body horror, colonialism and genocide, horrible things that happened in real life Australian history... you know, the usual topics that come up when I’m talking about Hollow Knight.

ADDITIONAL NOTICE: TPK fans of the “TPK meant well/was working for the greater good”/“TPK and Radi are equally bad”/“TPK is bad but Radi is worse” variety please give this one a pass, it ain’t for you.

finally if youre from a christian cultural upbringing (whether currently practicing, agnostic/secular, or atheist now), understand that some of what i’m discussing here may challenge you. if thinking thru the implications of this particular part of hollow knight worldbuilding/lore is distressing for you, PLEASE only approach this essay when youre in a safe mindset & open to listening, and ask the help of a therapist or anti-racism teacher/mentor to help you process your thoughts & feelings. just like keep in mind that youre listening to an ethnoreligiously marginalized person and please be respectful here or wherever else youre discussing this dang essay

BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE NOT PREPARED TO TRY: The Radiance Doesn’t Deal Contact Damage And That’s Kind Of Fucked Up And Sad

The vast majority of hostile creatures in Hollow Knight deal contact damage: This is to say, if the Wandering Knight (who I’ll probably spend most of this essay calling by their affectionate fan name Ghost) touches a hostile creature, this harms them.

There are exceptions to this rule. The most notable and most oft-memed example is the game’s literal actual true final boss, the Radiance. Not only will Ghost not be harmed by running into any part of her body, but during her stagger animation, where she drops to the boss arena floor on her front with her whole body splayed out, Ghost still isn’t harmed if she lands on top of them! What’s more, this holds true for her full-power form Absolute Radiance, the secret final boss of the Godmaster quest/endings.

A lot of people find this amusing, because it’s a little absurd that a game’s final boss is an exception to such a consistent element of gameplay! Hence all the “haha moth too soft and fluffy for contact damage” jokes. It is objective facts that Radi is very soft and very fluffy, so it’s very easy to understand why people don’t overthink this too much.

Thinking about things I like in gross detail is unfortunately my hobby. When it comes to Hollow Knight this usually leads to me making myself really sad. I’d like to share the fruits of my theorizing with the class, so other people can be sad with me.

Now, from a game design perspective I can think of a lot of reasons why Team Cherry chose for Radiance not to inflict contact damage. Her hitbox only covers the central part of her body. Her limbs are large, so because of the way she floats, if she did contact damage she would be protected from nail strikes from below and to either side. This would give a player who prefers nail combat a punishingly small margin through which they could inflict damage without also taking a hit, potentially forcing them to adapt to a new and unfamiliar play style at the very end of the game. That’s not fun for anybody and tends to make players feel very frustrated.

In addition to this, Radiance’s attacks are all bullet hell-style spells. All of them except the floor hazards inflict two masks of damage, meaning if you want to stay alive and identify points where it’s possible to heal, you need to learn the spell patterns and dodge a lot. Radi is a large boss. If running into her hurt you this would make the bullet hell elements of her fight extra punishing.

So, I think the purely game mechanics reason for Moth Too Soft And Fluffy is in interest of keeping her boss fight fair, and helping players feel like they have a chance of actually defeating her.

Part of why we all love Hollow Knight, though, is that there’s not much in the game that only exists for purely mechanical reasons. There’s always some form of story or lore integration.

So what on earth is the story reason behind why Radiance doesn’t deal contact damage?

OTHER ENEMIES THAT DON’T DEAL CONTACT DAMAGE

Radi isn’t the only enemy (here defined as fightable/killable creature) in Hollow Knight who doesn't inflict contact damage, so let’s take a look at her fellow exceptions to the rule to see what we can learn.

Broadly speaking there are two categories of Enemies That Don’t Deal Contact Damage. The first is enemies or bosses who used to be hostile, but have become friendly to the player. For instance, when characters like Ogrim and Hornet are not being fought in boss battles, touching them won’t cause damage to Ghost. These story characters who Ghost has more or less reconciled with can’t be damaged by the player out of combat either.

In terms of generic enemies who used to be hostile but have become friendly to the player, we have the mantises of the Fungal Wastes and the Siblings/Ghost’s Shade. We learn from the game’s lore that the mantises Did Not Like The Pale King and were hostile to Hallownest, but that they established a ceasefire conditional on their keeping the people of Deepnest (who were also hostile to Hallownest) from leaving through the area’s main entrance/exit in the Fungal Wastes - essentially the two native kingdoms were pitted against one another by the Pale King.

Now, just because there was a ceasefire, that doesn’t mean the mantises take kindly to Hallownest bugs brazenly trespassing into their dang house; they will get in your face and try to kill you unless you have permission to be there. But once you’ve defeated the Mantis Lords in combat and proven yourself worthy of the mantises’ respect, they’ll let you pass through their turf unmolested. They are no longer actively hostile and don't deal contact damage.

(You're still able to attack them, though - maybe because you’d be locked out of receiving the Hunter’s Mark if you complete the Respect quest/achievement before you’ve successfully killed enough mantises? - and if you attack them, or if your pet charm familiars attack them, any mantises you aggroed will fight back and deal contact damage again.)

The Siblings, as well as Ghost’s Shade, are initially indiscriminately hostile. Our window into Shade psychology is limited, but we know that the Shade died violently and the Siblings probably did too; they may be lashing out. They’re also Void creatures, and Ghost looks a lot like the Pale King, whom we can guess from context clues pissed the Void off significantly by using it as his personal play-doh to make tools and toys with and also using its house as his personal garbage dump for baby corpses.

However, once Ghost recalls their past and breaks the mask of the Kingsoul charm to reveal the Void Heart at its core, the Void recognizes them as a part of it, and Ghost becomes able to direct/lead the Void to some extent. As an extension of this, the Siblings and Ghost’s shade become docile and can now be killed by any weapon in one hit instead of just the Dream Nail (which is made of Radiance’s Light and is the Void’s natural weakness). They don’t deal contact damage anymore either.

That’s it for “enemies that inflict contact damage at one point, but stop inflicting it after becoming friendly or neutral to Ghost”.

The generic enemies which don't inflict contact damage include shrumelings, maggots, maskflies, and lightseeds/lifeseeds. These enemies are incapable of inflicting any damage on Ghost whatsoever, because by themselves they are completely helpless entities with no natural defenses.

Shrumelings are infant members of the mushroom clan who are usually protected by adult fungi like shrumal warriors and ogres. Lightseeds and lifeseeds are harmless single-celled organisms. Maskflies are similarly harmless. Maggots, we glean from the Hunter’s Journal and dialogue from False Knight/Failed Champion, are the bottom rung of Hallownest’s society because they are weak and helpless, and are forced into menial and slave labor by other Hallownest bugs because they cannot defend themselves. The maggots’ plight is the whole reason why False Knight/Failed Champion stole Hegemol's armor in the first place, as he wanted to protect his people.

All of these enemies flee when Ghost approaches them. (Some maskfly groups’ flight triggers are set to specific areas on a map and won’t flee if you can avoid stepping on/passing through those areas, but this is clearly due to a programming oversight because their whole Thing is running away.)

But, there’s something interesting to be observed in the case of lightseeds and maggots: They can fight back against and harm Ghost if they use tools. The little flock of lightseeds you chase around the Ancient Basin eventually get sick of Ghost’s shit and take over Broken Vessel/Lost Kin’s corpse, which they puppet around to try to murder you. By doing so they gain access to Broken Vessel/Lost Kin’s considerable combat prowess and become very dangerous, contact damage included in the bargain. (The lightseeds’ doing this seems to evoke the vessel’s spirit, since they reach for Ghost when defeated. That’s not a gesture the lightseeds have any reason to make. The Lost Kin fight, by which the spirit seems to gain some form of closure, becomes available here too.)

False Knight/Failed Champion’s fights work on the same general principle. Now that he has a weapon he can attack Ghost, and his armor deals contact damage. The maggot inside the armor does not inflict contact damage; essentially both his boss fights consist of your whacking the armor until he’s stunned and pops out of the armor for a moment so you can hit his vulnerable real body, which is the only part of him that yields Soul when you smack him. In fact, his boss fights will last forever if you let him recover from being stunned on his own.

Between these two groups, Radiance very obviously doesn’t fit in the first, as she’s the final boss and is very vigorously trying to kill Ghost with various magic spells. You can tell from her Dream Nail dialogue that she’s furious about what the Pale King did to her and her people, and is afraid for her life. She is willing to use everything at her disposal to try to destroy Ghost so she can survive, go free, and get revenge for the Pale King’s crimes. If she could do contact damage to Ghost she would.

So, the only logical conclusion to make is that Radi falls into the second group of enemies that don’t inflict contact damage. She is physically incapable of causing any harm to anyone with only her body. Her magic is deadly as all get out and the 2 masks damage explosion noise probably haunts the nightmares of anyone who’s struggled fighting her, but without it she is helpless.

WHY CAN’T RADIANCE DO CONTACT DAMAGE?

It might be pretty hard to reconcile the fact that a character with Audre Lorde energy as potent as Radi Hollowknight’s is has a whopping 0 ATK. The biggest clues we get in terms of story context for her inability to inflict physical harm of any kind can be found within the culture of the moth tribe, who were her people.

Thistlewind, the backer-designed moth ghost who can be found in the Resting Grounds, tells you that the majority of moths were pacifists, and that individuals like them and like Markoth who learned to wield a nail were in the minority. Thistlewind appears to have learned to fight as a means of self-defense while they explored the crater area, and describes Markoth as having done so in order to “[brave] the edges of this world, hoping to uncover a truth long forgotten”. It sounds to me like Markoth was trying to recover parts of moth culture that were lost when their tribe was assimilated into Hallownest, or maybe even searching for Radiance or trying to learn what happened to her. (Judging that his corpse is hidden behind one of the Pale King’s shade gates it seems this didn’t go well. Thanks TPK.)

As far as fighting moths go there’s Marmu too, but she seems to be a special case, possibly raised in Hallownest's culture instead of with her tribe. We don’t actually get any sort of canon explanation for how a baby moth wound up as a child soldier who died defending the Queen’s Gardens, but given the overall tone of Hollow Knight as a game and all the colonization/Australian history parallel subtext, some horrifying possibilities come to mind.

So, if Thistlewind, Markoth, and Marmu are Outliers Lepidoptera and should not be counted, how did the majority of moths spend their time? According to Seer, who knows more about the tribe’s history than most (and to Quirrel, who points you to her if you defeat Uumuu before picking up the Dream Nail), the moths’ main prerogative was cultivating and developing dream magic. From the way the Seer describes dreams as a living history as you collect Essence, dream magic seems to be a parallel to the Dreaming (or Dreamtime), a spiritual concept in Indigenous Australian religion related to both history and myth.

To translate this into simple terms, the moths were by and large pacifists whose culture celebrated art, history, and spirituality.

Team Cherry tends to adapt at least some aspects of real-life bug behavior and biology into their sad cartoon bugs, so moths-as-pacifists tracks: Real moths do not really have any way to fight. They defend themselves from predators via their mobility and their markings, which tend towards either camouflage that helps them hide or bright markings intended to scare predators off by indicating they’re poisonous (therefore not good to eat) or look like the face of something much bigger and more dangerous than they are.

There's not that much we can glean about the moths in pre-Hallownest society aside from Seer’s dialogue, because Hallownest destroyed their civilization so thoroughly: Except in the Dream Realm (which is filled with Essence spirographs and the wisteria charms that decorate Seer’s room), their architecture can only be found anymore in hidden parts of the Resting Grounds and at the very top of the Crystal Peak where Radi’s statue and a fuckton of lore tablets Ghost doesn’t know how to read are located.

But, we know that the crater pre-Hallownest was home to a ton of diverse bug nations - the mosskin, the mushroom tribe, the mantises, Deepnest, the Hive, the flukes - and every SINGLE one of those had some kind of warrior tradition, as well as their own unique cultures. In the midst of all that it was only the moths who were pacifists, so from there we can tentatively assume that they were on good enough terms with their neighbors for there not to be any fighting. The mosskin in particular also had and still have a Higher Being on their side, though in the modern day Unn seems to be rather conflict avoidant to say the least.

And we know from Hallownest’s past dealings with the mantises and Deepnest that even having Two (2) Higher Beings isn’t enough to keep rival civilizations off your nuts if they hate you, so it’s improbable that Radiance just did all the moths’ fighting for them.

The only hint that the moths ever had beef with anyone at all is one of Radiance’s Dream Nail lines, “ancient enemy” - this is popularly theorized to refer to the Void and might be corroborated by the Void’s willingness to follow Ghost into Radi’s boss fights and fight alongside them. As the Void seems to be some sort of Higher Being/god of darkness and nothingness, and the Dream Nail’s only offensive ability is to kill Void creatures, the Void and creatures of Light appear to be in a position of mutual vulnerability. Some of the Pale King’s writings in his workshop, which identify the Void as a power in direct opposition to his, support this too.

It’s unclear whether the Void civilization and Radiance ever directly came to blows or whether they were just giving each other the stink eye over being natural enemies - personally I think the latter is more likely because the two civilizations existed on opposite sides of the crater*, and again, the moths were pacifists; plus when Ghost brings the Void along to Radi’s boss fight she is quickly and gruesomely overwhelmed by it.

What I am saying here is that if pacifism was such an integral aspect of moth culture, and Radiance epitomized her people’s culture, and she is 100% incapable of inflicting physical harm, she was probably a pacifist too.

DEEP DOWN YOU KNOW YOU WEREN'T BUILT FOR FIGHTING

Hallownest flourished for a long, long time between the Pale King and White Lady first establishing it and the initial outbreak of the Infection.

There’s no conclusive information in-game as to why this is. We can only guess: Maybe Radiance was so badly hurt or weakened by the moths’ assimilation that it simply took her That Long to become capable of the mass dream broadcast to Literally Everyone In Hallownest that would eventually become the Infection when Hallownest’s people tried to suppress it. Or, maybe it just took a long time for her to come up with a way to fight back. It’s possible that it took her a while to find the resolve to actually fight back, too, with her principles of pacifism in conflict with the necessity of defending herself and taking her people back. Maybe there was a change in the moths’ situation in Hallownest somewhere down the line that compelled her to step in - all the moths are super extremely dead at the time Hollow Knight starts, after all. Even Seer is eventually revealed to be a revenant like Ze’mer the Grey Mourner, only lingering in the world to pass on the Dream Nail and tell Radiance’s story. Maybe it was a combination of all those factors. Barring Team Cherry dropping in to explain this bit of Sekret Deep Lore, we are never going to know.

All we DO know for sure is that when we mosey into Hollow’s brain (and/or Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny our way to the top of Hallownest’s Pantheon) and challenge the literal actual sun to a fight, Radi takes the challenge with extreme prejudice and comes in swinging.

Something interesting I noticed while comparing the Radiance boss fights with the Pure Vessel fight is that some of their attacks are vaguely similar. Where warrior-mage characters like Xero and Markoth have physical weapons that they summon and manipulate with magic, Radiance and Pure Vessel both create nails and daggers out of Essence and Soul respectively. Both characters’ magical weapon attacks are similar in nature too: Some are used to create hazards that must be dodged or avoided, and some are fired directly at Ghost in radial patterns.

This begs a very sad chicken-and-egg question. Did Radi and Hollow develop these battle techniques independently of each other, has Hollow in their prime form somehow absorbed similar techniques to Radi through osmosis since they’re currently chained together by the brain... or is Radi mimicking and innovating on these attacks she knows Hollow can do?

All her other attacks seem very obvious for a light-themed character, after all: Beam attacks and blobs of light. A flash of bright light is also how she shakes off the Void the first time it tries to grab her, too, making for a strong argument that that’s the original natural defense she possessed, and that’s what she based most of her attack magic off of.

Making sword’s and knive’s from Essence when most of her people didn’t even handle these sorts of tools even at the height of her power and influence, though... that seems less like something that would come naturally to her. i don’t really know i don’t have a definitive answer or theory for this one it just Seems Possible and it’s fucking me up guys

Even the Infection - which began life as Radiance’s attempt to communicate, let’s remember, before it progressed to “The End Of Eva Disease Will Continue Until Someone Actually Listens To Me” and then finally Radi screaming “FUCK U LET ME OUT, GET THAT NEW SUNNY D BOTTLE THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, HALLOWNEST EAT SHIT” during canon - does not appear to be fatal to living bugs until the tumorous growths grow so large they impede bodily functions, like real cancer. We can observe this phenomenon via a number of NPCs and enemies that are rediscovered as tumorous corpses after the whole Crossroads area becomes infected.

At least to me, all of this points to Radiance being a character to whom violence and causing harm doesn't come naturally, and who has resorted to these methods in desperation.

It actually reminds me a lot of False Knight/Failed Champion. It’s a very common theory among fans that when he stole Hegemol’s armor he killed Hegemol - this is a reasonable thing to believe, since Hegemol is the only one of the Five Great Knights of Hallownest who never appears at all in-game, not even as a corpse like Dryya and Isma. Like Radi, False Knight/Failed Champion is a character who rose up and turned to violence in order to protect his people, despite the maggots not being a belligerent species.

False Knight is one of the game’s first major bosses, sometimes the first boss that players encounter at all. And so Hollow Knight’s story bookends with two separate victims of a predatory system, one who lived within and was cannibalized by it, one outside of it who was deliberately targeted by the Pale King. Neither of them started out as a fighter, but both of them still adopted violence as a tool to protect themselves and their people. Radiance is as doomed as False Knight by the Pale King’s genocide, but just like False Knight, she has no intention of going quietly, and will rage against the dying of the light as only the literal actual sun can.

Cue Deedee Magno Hall voice clip. You all know the one.

*A footnote: There’s no conclusive evidence to tell us whether the Void civilization was contemporaneous with the other pre-Hallownest indigenous bug nations or whether it predated them. Mask Maker has a line suggesting that the Void civilization tried to expand throughout the crater in its heyday and that maybe this was linked to its collapse, but in general the Void lore is just too darn thin to draw firm conclusions - it’s like trying to speculate on the ancient stone age cultures of the Americas that came before pre-settler Indigenous countries when the only sources you can easily access are elementary school level US history textbooks. (To non-Americans: We mostly teach kids propaganda until they hit college-level courses and it sucks so much ass.) This is very realistic worldbuilding, but also please Team Cherry I want to know more about these ancient bugs who apparently got lost in the sauce

[mediaevalmusereads]

Black Sun. By Rebecca Roanhorse. New York: Saga Press, 2020.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: fantasy

Part of a Series? Yes, Between Earth and Sun #1

Summary: In the holy city of Tova, the winter solstice is usually a time for celebration and renewal, but this year it coincides with a solar eclipse, a rare celestial event proscribed by the Sun Priest as an unbalancing of the world. Meanwhile, a ship launches from a distant city bound for Tova and set to arrive on the solstice. The captain of the ship, Xiala, is a disgraced Teek whose song can calm the waters around her as easily as it can warp a man’s mind. Her ship carries one passenger. Described as harmless, the passenger, Serapio, is a young man, blind, scarred, and cloaked in destiny. As Xiala well knows, when a man is described as harmless, he usually ends up being a villain.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: blood, violence, gore, body horror, drug/alcohol use, self-harm, suicide, mutilation, reference to child sex slavery

Overview: I came across this book while looking for fantasy novels set in non-European-inspired worlds. I got really exited about the premise: a pre-Columbian, indigenous-inspired story? With multiple perspectives? And crows? It sounded great! Unfortunately, I couldn’t give this book more than 3 stars for a number of reasons: I felt like the writing could have been a little bit better and that character motivations could have been more clear; and I ultimately didn’t feel like the story was a true race-against-the-clock until the end. While I���m intrigued enough to pick up book 2 in the series, I do wish this book had done a little more to make me feel connected to the plot and the characters.

Writing: Roanhorse’s writing reminds me of some New Adult prose styles: it feels straight-forward, clear, and well-balanced, but sometimes tends to tell more than show, especially when it comes to emotion. I really liked that I could follow the prose without issue, but I often felt like Roanhorse was dumping some info on me and expecting me to absorb it right away. For example, Xiala (one of the protagonists) tells us that she’s always felt like an outsider and that’s why she has such an immediate connection with Serapio (another protagonist), but I didn’t exactly feel that. There were also some worldbuilding details that seemed to be inserted to flesh out the world - which was great - but ultimately didn’t feel relevant to what was going on in the plot.

This book is also told from multiple perspectives and flashes forward and backward in time. While I personally was able to follow the voices and time skips just fine, some readers might find it a challenge.

Also, without spoiling anything, the end of this book seemed to rush by WAY too fast, and I honestly didn’t feel like most of the book was building to it.

The worldbuilding, however, was wonderful. I really liked the way Roanhorse described the look and feel of everything from the tastes, smells, sights, etc. and I loved how diverse and rich everything felt. While I don’t know enough about various Indigenous groups to comment on whether or not the cultural elements were incorporated well, I did like that various populations didn’t seem to be monoliths and varied in terms of social structure, dress, and custom.

Plot: The plot of this book follows two-ish threads: in one thread, Xiala must get Serapio to the city of Tova in time for “the Convergence,” a time when the celestial bodies are aligned AND there’s a lunar eclipse. In the other, Naranpa must navigate a plot to oust her from the priesthood while also dealing with rising opposition from clan Carrion Crow (and their cultists, with whom Okoa is involved).

Because of the many POV characters and the flashbacks in time, it was difficult to feel any sense of urgency in either plot thread. Xiala and Serapio’s thread was a travel narrative, and most of the conflict stemmed from the fact that the crew just straight up did not trust Xiala. At first, I thought we were getting a narrative where the crew mistrusts Xiala because she’s Teek, but then they appear to be ok with her in what was a pleasant subversion of my expectations. But then something happens and we’re back to what I expected, and it proves inconvenient for getting Serapio to Tova in time. Because I didn’t feel like I had much of a reason to want Xiala and Serapio to succeed (Serapio’s motivations are mysterious and Xiala mostly wants wealth), I felt pretty “meh” about them potentially missing their deadline. I would have much rather seen Xiala (and perhaps the crew?) be challenged and grow from the setbacks she experiences at sea, and for her to become more personally connected to Serapio so the journey shifts from one done to earn untold wealth to one where Xiala wants to help her friend (even if said friend ends up being deceptive).

The Tovan plot is likewise a little “meh” because there wasn’t a huge sense of urgency or suspense. I felt like I didn’t know the clans enough to feel strongly about their politics (aside from understanding that killing people is bad in the abstract), nor did I have a concrete reason for wanting the institution of the priesthood to remain (once I learned more of their history and the fact that most priests - called “Watchers” - would rather be elitist than minister to the people).

Perhaps that’s why I felt a little underwhelmed by the plot as a whole: while things certainly happened, I ultimately didn’t feel like they impacted the characters’ inner lives much, or if they did, that evolution was told to us more than shown. While I understand that Black Sun is the first book in a series, I still would have liked the plot to have more of an impression on the characters.

Characters: I think it’s safe to say that this book follows 4 main protagonists: Xiala (a Teek sea captain who fills the Han Solo archetype), Serapio (the mysterious blind man with crow-themes magic powers), Naranpa (the Sun Priest who struggles against traditionalists to make the priesthood more active in people’s lives), and Okoa (the son of the murdered Carrion Crow clan matriarch). While I liked all of these characters, I do wish they had been a little less dependent on archetypes (lusty sea captain, Chosen One, etc). Maybe things will change as they develop in later novels, but for now, they’re fun and certainly likeable in their own ways, but not mind-blowing.

Xiala is likeable in that she’s a hot mess with a heart of gold. She drinks, swears, and gets into trouble, all in the pursuit of earning enough wealth to make a living. She is also Teek - a member of a (rumored) all-female island clan, whose members have special sea-based magic. I liked Xiala’s connection to the sea and the way she communicates her people’s stories and cultural values. However, I do wish she was challenged a little more to want something more than material reward.

Serapio is an intriguing character in that he fits the archetype of dark, mysterious Chosen One. While I appreciated that he wasn’t a gruff loner (instead, he seemed eager to connect with people while recognizing that his appearance might unsettle them), I also think his backstory is a little too “edgy” for my tastes. His motivations were somewhat shrouded in mystery, which made it hard to know whether or not I wanted to root for him to succeed, but because he’s not a complete jerk, I found him interesting enough.

The connection between Xiala and Serapio could have been a lot stronger than it was. While I liked that they bonded over their “outsider” statuses, I ultimately felt like this was told to us rather than shown. Thus, when they kind of sort of “get together” later in the novel, it doesn’t feel earned. I didn’t understand what Xiala saw in Serapio other than his physical attractiveness and (maybe?) feeling like he didn’t treat her as a foreigner. While fine, I wanted Xiala to be more attracted to Serapio’s personal qualities, not just that he was nice to her. Same thing for Serapio: I didn’t get the sense that he had genuine feelings for Xiala personally, just that she was intriguing because she was Teek.

Naranpa, the Sun Priest, was an interesting figure in that she was caught up in the politics of the priesthood. While I liked watching her navigate the various setbacks and conflicts with traditionalists, I ultimately wish I had been given a more compelling reason to root for Naranpa to succeed. Trying to make the priesthood more hands-on and philanthropic is all well and good, but it felt too abstract. I wanted Naranpa to have more personal stakes - because she comes from the “gutters” of the city, is she more invested? But if so, how does she reconcile that with her decades-long absence from where she grew up? There was a little of that, but ultimately, I didn’t feel like I had a reason to want the priesthood to continue. I didn’t understand why Naranpa was so attached to the priesthood as an institution; why didn’t didn’t she cut her losses and go elsewhere?

Okoa is something of a late addition. His perspective doesn’t appear right away, but I think that worked out fine, considering when it appeared. Okoa is a warrior who finds himself torn between keeping peace between his clan and the Priesthood and joining a rebellious cult who wants to restore the old religion and seek revenge against the Priesthood for past trauma. While I think his perspective was important, I didn’t personally feel invested in this plot or Okoa’s dilemma. Perhaps it’s because I didn’t feel like the rebels were treated as having a real grievance; we’re told about the past and told that it was harmful, but because we don’t get the perspective of someone dedicated to the Cause, I didn’t feel like I could sympathize with it. Okoa himself is resistant, calling the rebels “cultists” and saying that though he understands their grief, he doesn’t want to support violence. Perhaps if Okoa felt threatened by the cultists, or if their cause was a true threat to the stability and well-being of the clan, then I could feel more involved. But as it stands, Okoa was somewhat wishy-washy, and I couldn’t quite understand the stakes to make his indecision feel justified.

Side or supporting characters were interesting. I really liked that Roanhorse included plenty of queer characters, including trans and non-binary/third gender characters who use pronouns like xe/xir. My favorite was probably Iktan, the head of what is essentially the assassin’s branch of the priesthood.

TL;DR: Black Sun is an intriguing fantasy with intricate worldbuilding and premise. While I personally felt like the inner lives of the characters could have been more developed and the plot more compelling, I think this book (and author) will satisfy many fantasy lovers, and I look forward to picking up the next novel in the series.