#it's not like a kid can say hey mom
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There was a middle school age girl who started crying in the middle of the catacombs and having a wholeass existential crisis, and of course her mom was shushing her and telling her the bones weren't scary, but honestly she was the one in there who was using the space for its intended purpose, unlike the middle aged ladies going over their appointment calendars or even me taking little photos
#they were english i could hear her she was upset about the unstoppable march of death not the spooky scaries#it's not like a kid can say hey mom#i dont want to challenge my maturing understanding of death in a labyrinth of old bones surrounded by rude strangers#lets stay home today#even if mom would listen to them they wouldnt know to say it until it happened
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friendly reminder that Neteyam is a well-adjusted kid who has a good relationship with his parents, that he tries his darnedest to be a good warrior because he genuinely looks up to his dad and wants to be like him, and that the idea that Jake and Neytiri are "forcing" him to be perfect, that they "stole his childhood" or that he's "not allowed" to be a kid, etc. are all pure fanfiction with little to no evidence in canon thanks bye
#avatar#avatar 2#neteyam#given how hesitant Jake is to let Neteyam fight I can absolutely GUARANTEE you that there was almost certainly NEVER an interaction...#...in which Neteyam said ''hey Mom and Dad I'm gonna go hang out with Lo'ak and Kiri now''#and Jake and Neytiri reply ''no son you're too old for such childish things you must come do Adult Tasks that you secretly hate instead#so you can be the Perfect Future Olo'eyktan™"#THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN#AND IT'S NOT “IMPLIED” TO HAVE HAPPENED EITHER#Y'ALL MADE THAT UP IN YOUR HEADS#along with the idea that Neteyam secretly hates his lot in life and is internally yearning to be A Normal Kid™#guys Neteyam WANTS to be a warrior he WANTS follow in Jake's footsteps he strives so hard because HE *WANTS* TO OF HIS OWN ACCORD#there is absolutely d i d d l y s q u a t that suggests this path is being “forced” on him#or that he is being secretly ~crushed under the pressure~ and Just Wants to Be Free or w/e#you. made. that. up.#it's not a canon aspect of his character#and. look. if you wanna explore the idea of him being ''crushed under pressure'' in a fanfic#because you find it interesting or it helps you work through your own stuff then hey be my guest#but once you start saying stuff like#''oh i feel so bad for [canon] Neteyam because he died before he could break free of his parents' toxic influence''#Shut Up™#neteyam's parents were not a toxic influence; he was never forced into being something he didn't want to be; his childhood was not “stolen”#he did not have anything to “break free” of. you are injecting extra layers of tragedy that aren't actually there#you are giving yourself extra grief for things that were never canon#stahp#feel free to write whatever you want in fanfiction but please i am begging you#to be aware of which ideas are actually present in the movie vs. which ones are just fanfiction
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Tim Drake: oh man i hope there’s not an evil inverse me with reversed initials vying for my spot as smartest batkid
Duke Thomas:
#guy with the rep for being the sleepyist bat versus guy who wakes up bright and early every morning with vigilantism on his mind#and they have inversed intials?#coincidence? i think not!#hey remember in lonely place when Tim figured out who dick was by watching him on the news? and then Duke TECHNICALLY did the same thing#hey remember how duke met Bruce as a kid? and how Tim met dick as a kid?#remember when Duke learned riddles like the baby girl boss he was and he knew dick’s song#actually remember how dick had a song written about him? slay.#leo says shit#tim drake#duke thomas#it was me Timmy. I killed your mom.#somehow when I was like. wait let me do the math.#Tim was 13 so add 4 years to make 17 and Dami is nine so so then three to make him 12 is 7 and then 16-7 oh shit I was gonna guess nine#SOMEHOW I killed your mother when I was a nine year old living in the narrows#it was me. I crashed the plane Barry I mean Tim#can you tell i (op not duke) am procrastinating on something because I’m procrastinating on something rn#ANYWAYS now i want to see evil duke well actually i will never be able to see that because evil duke would simply steal all the light#and then kill me with the light i guess i don't really understand how his powers work
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i would like to stop experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions every day please. putting this out into the universe
#had suchhh a good workday. had hot pot with my roommate where we talked about our quarter life crises#and then came home and had a 3 hour screaming match with both of my parents where i said i was cutting them out of my life#it turns out. my dad still does not understand what the word bi means even tho his fucking wife is bi#he was like 'so you marry someone and six months later you see someone else you like and u go marry them instead?'#like genuinely. truly trying to understand#and that shocked me enough to stop crying#do not reblog please#like in hindsight it is SO funny#and that was the point where i was like. wait is this not malice#this is homophobia but i don't think it's malice#anyways we're all Ok now#we've agreed that i'm going to do what i want#and even if they're unhappy they're still gonna have a relationship with me#and they'll figure out how to adjust#my brother periodically came into the room and also screamed at my parents#i feel bad for them a lil bit. like they're not bad people#after he left my mom told me that a week and a half ago#my brother came into her room and told her that when she died he would bury her in a grave instead#of the traditional last rites (cremation rituals etc etc)#if she wouldn't accept me#and my mom said she was on a bunch of meds cause she's sick so she was so out of it it didn't even register what he was going on about#and then today after that convo she was like WAIT A MIN WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS BOY SAY TO ME#funniest 16 year old u could have on your side#truly he kept coming into the room every 5 min and going HEY HAVE YOU BOTH CONSIDERED NOT BEING HOMOPHOBIC. HAVE YOU.#HEY CAN U TELL YOUR DAUGHTER YOU STILL LOVE HER MAYBE??? THINK??? USE YOUR BRAIN???#this is why i would die for this kid#he's the best#he's such an idiot most of the time but when he's not being an idiot he's my favorite person on earth#don't tell him that tho anyone please#he'll hold it against me forever and ever as siblings do
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Thinking about this time last year when life was rough. mom was sick. had a breakdown at the hospital and walked around the parking garage for an hour thinking about throwing myself off.
Today was good. slept in. Chinese food with the family. Everyone is happy. Probably the happiest birthday I’ve had in years. Thankful for medication. Thankful for my family. for my new kitten and for noodles and pistachio pudding and coffee. going to see Sonic 3 in an hour. Nosferatu in the morning.
Despite everything, happy to be alive.
#NEVER KILL YOURSELF!#don’t get me wrong. life is still very rough and sad and painful and my health is HORRIBLE#but still we persist#compared to where I was a year ago I am miles more adjusted#last year at this time my mom had just had an organ transplant and it was very touch and go. very scary#even said my goodbyes at one point fully expecting her to pass#my mental health was terrible#basically taking care my two teenage brothers while she was in the hospital. in a shitty apartment. shitty time of year.#my family later told me they really thought I was going to Off myself. which… definitely was a possibility 😬#again I’m not saying life is perfect. far from it. but I’m in a much better place now#first birthday in a long time where I’m not dreading growing older#I’m old!#I’m like full on dad age#hey let me be your cool uncle. not in a creepy way.#hey that’s another reason I’ve been in a good mood#got to spend time with my niece & nephew the other day and it was great. I love being an uncle. seeing kids grow up is so cool.#makes the future look a little more hopeful#okay this is too much information. too mushy.#you can ignore this#text
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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.
#blue chatter#am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing#but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture#which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people#autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people#depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay#but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL#and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them#I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house#their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting#I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation#they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo#which is rly neat#it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e#it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid#and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun#I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^
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Why does every aspect of my life keep combining today!? I decided to rewatch Hunchback of Notre Dame(1. The opening and Hellfire constantly haunt me, 2. HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET AWAY WITH THIS FILM) I digress. I also watched Amadeus today so I'm like, HUH WAIT WDYM TOM HULCE IS IN THIS TOO!? And I don't know how to feel about the fact that I recognize Paris/Notre Dame so well purely bcs I've been playing ac unity every day 😭😭😭
#aghhhhhhhhh im so rambly today ignore me i just wanna talk abt everything and anything#the ac thing is so bad tho i dont know how to feel 😭😭#this movie obv takes place all around notre dame and i keep feeling like. deja vu#hey wait ive climbed up this tower before....ive been in this church before...#but only in my silly video game djjfkfkf#omg they namedropped some location in paris too and im like. i literally could point this out on a map 😭😭#OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY ASIDE FROM THAT I DONT GET HOW THEY GOT AWAY WITH THIS FILM#frollo is so...bro how is he a disney villain 😭😭 how is this a children's movie#its funny my moms like ah i hate that film. but i was playing some clips for her again and shes like fine. its not bad.#but her reasoning was bcs she thought: this isnt for children#but when i watched it as a kid i didnt think that at all. but watching it now im like HOW?!!?!?!?!!.#but that aside i kinda hate the way children's stuff today is soooooo bland and unchallenging#bcs this movie confronts such ADULT ideas but i was literally none the wiser. thus can enjoy it both as a kid and adult#man....frollo is so fascinating. i dont wanna say cool cause hes genuinely sooooooo fucked up#but his design and how he is as a villain is just so cool and im just so shocked they got away w this#i wish kids movies could be this fucked up again LOL#the frollo parts make you forget its even a kids movie 😭#his design tho is it too cliche of me to say he reminds me of a specific habsburg emperor-#also the tom hulce thing i was like YOURE KIDDING what a strange coincidence#catie.rambling.txt
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I just spent like 20 minutes thinking about soup
#i need to move out!!!!#i love my parents to be clear they're great#i just want to be in charge of my own meals again#it's not that they're bad at feeding me stuff i want to eat it's just we like different things#when it's just me i can make my soup however i want and no one's gonna say anything#Because It's My Soup#i can eat japanese chicken curry for a week straight! no one cares!#i just need to get better at eating vegetables#i want my own kitchen soooo baaad.....#my mom's sensitive to garlic. do you know how much recipes fuck if you add garlic? severely. and i can't if she's gonna eat it#i need my own kitchen so bad so so bad pleeaase#really hoping that i get my degree within like two months#and then i have to. urgh. find a job. but then i find a job and i go there#and i get Paid! money!#and once i have some money in the bank and a long term job i can try and get a flat#and once i have a flat i have my own kitchen i can order stuff online if i want and i can adopt a cat#i can have friends over i can decorate#and if i can swing it i'll be a civil servant#and if i'm lucky enough i can perhaps. give up the next 30 years of my life to a bank so i can own my own flat#god i hope. i fucking hope. i really really want to own#like not for landlord bullshit. just so i don't have to worry about where to go in a year two years five years#i want a civil servant job because that's for life and i would love to do the same thing forever#and i want to own a flat because i could make the space fit my needs and wants perfectly#and i wouldn't have to worry about where to live or old age or whatever#good luck to me finding a well situated 2 bedroom flat in one of the if not the worst city of france in terms of housing :)#but hey i've been lucky in life. maybe it'll keep going#i know what i want early! that's good#i shouldn't have a realisation that i want kids at 30yo or whatever. I Shall Not Become My Mom#ANYWAY i need my own kitchen!!!!!#wow i have a ramble tag now
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Also another thing that’s fucked up is that my parents told me to not be outwardly angry at school because then someone would call like the equivalent of CPS in Canada, genuinely don’t know what it’s called, and take me away. I being like. 12. thought “yeah no seems legit” or more accurately, “i don’t want to get taken away from my family.”
And then, and then, this other time, when my dad just fucking left, we were talked to by a person from I guess the Canadian equivalent of CPS and I, even though I knew it was wrong at that point, kept my mouth shut. My mom told us to keep our mouths shut. And my sister didn’t, she told them and they did nothing.
Thinking thoughts. Having feelings. Idk.
#landscaping your mind chapter one#like what the fuck.#what the actual fuck.#i should probably make a tag for this lol#the last post wasnt a vent. i shared an anecdote and connected it to a problem i see#this post is a vent. i’m saying ‘what the fuck’ over and over in my head#somehow it’s very hard to deal with trauma when you’re actively living it. who’d’ve thought#/s#i want to leaveee#and yeah it’s like ‘kris just tell a teacher they legally have to report it’ and?? i don’t have citizenship im a dependent and most likely#they’ll just talk to my parents and decide theyre fine. bc they’re nice a lot of the time#most likely my parents will get angry at me even more for reporting them#and hey! when i told the councillor that my mom hit me in 2021 she made the call to kids help and they said it wasnt big enough#this was… before they hit me more. this year. yippee /s#i just. im so hashtag jonathan sims coded. there’s a way out. there’s a way out but i don’t think i can take it.#there’s a way out but i’m afraid. there’s a way out but this is the only life i’ve ever known. they’re the only parents i’ve ever known.#i love them. i love my sisters. i just… i have to wait for a better out#hey! at least i have an end date for this!#18th birthday babyyyyy#(pls dont be concerned im fine)#vent#child abuse#tw child abuse#cw child abuse
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my dad just played a bit of Nothing Else Matters just now on guitar he's so cool
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#heyy i am shy with music with my dad ngl. he's the guy who really got me into music after all#on our trip like a couple of weeks ago tho? he now knows my top 3 favs are the 1975 and hozier and mcr ^___^#today apparently his coworker was like hey anyone wna come with to mcr concert! and i got rlly excited and like damn but it was in aus so..#and then mom asked if that was a kdrama LMFAOOO and then dad said no theyre emo band..... hes not wrong but i tried to say theyre punk rock#he said No They're Emo LMFAOOOOO i suppose he's not wrong. anyway#idk i really want to learn guitar uh it's good i have my dad who can possibly help out but id rather he not tbh!#+ also uhh we were walking around the other day talking about courses and he was like maybe music (for non-quota course but idk anymore lol#it's complicated) but he was like. music nah bcs you guys arent really musically inclined/talented (?) i forgor anyway a bit taken aback but#hes right unfortunately...? used to play piano as kids. doesnt feel like long ago but it was ages ago#and then i wanted a guitar and we got one but since then i've learned only like 2 chords and it's been over a year now i think. or almost.#idk anymore tbh! time crazy but anyway i will do my best fr. with everything. gah#i'll be honest i kinda really do want to pursue music actually but i'm terrified and confused? uhh complicated complicated complicated frfr#its an acoustic guitar btw. might have been easier if it were electric bcs damn its hard for me to place my fingers right#+ i think theyre cooler but not the point! if i do learn the guitar dad said we cld maybe buy an electric one or a bass so... ^___^#anyway i think mom is warming up to cats and we might convince her more soon to. yk. allow us to adopt#not buy! i want to adopt. i love cats they deserve everything but i also really love dogs sobbing but moms scared so its fine#i forgot my other thought oh my god goodbye#oh. right! violin! lune likes the violin and considering we now know its our moms fav instrument we may convince her to let lune learn ?!
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Like for real real this happened today
#it was for a jujutsu kaisen fic#but like#I would say boyfriend and I are equally rational but I find joy in cultivating belief#I have a religious / spiritual practice / I’ve taken my mom ghost hunting#just like normal stuff 😅#anyway I was thinking about Geto having non sorcerer parents and like#what do you say if your kid suddenly says ‘hey I can see the unseen and I want to go to sorcerer school’#the initial thought is ‘well I would be supportive but also assume they are having a psychotic break’#‘and if there actually is a school I assume it’s a cult of some sort’#anyway also my werewolf oc has non werewolf parents#and it’s much harder because Geto got to go to sorcerer school but she just got yeeted to San Francisco#and then picked up by some scruffy dude with an enchanted van#(also if you see this hi nette!)
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sometimes i feel jealous of cisgender people but then. i dont it’s whatever man. no wait i am. i am very jealous of cisgender people in a fucked up way. what
#i feel like jealous of them because they get to live their life at least feeling right about one thing#they can be perfectly content with their bits and their birth self. and i am so jealous that i probably wont feel that way ever#im like weirdly so envious of people who have such a usually uncomplicated and easy view of gender#this is a totally different thing but im so jealous of people who have almost over involved and cool parents#i’ll see people who like. their parents have an instagram account..and they’ll like…tag each other#and put stupid mother-daughter stuff on their story or idk. be so chill and aware of their kid’s lives#my mom is definitely involved in my life and she does love me but she just like. idk.#there’s probably a lot that goes on those behind closed doors but they’re so like supportive of their Out kids and they like post about it#so something must be going right.#i wish i could just be out to my mom and proudly say hey im your lesbian son now but i can’t because ill be killing her beloved daughter#all i am to her is her Daughter who’s like a best friend to her. and i would feel really bad if i ever kill that idea#in my mind knowing im trans i already know that that girl is dead but its like i haven’t broken the news to the family#they’re so blissfully unaware their daughter is dead and that their son killed her#i dont want to live with that guilt so i’ll have to dispose of the evidence of her body and run far away as a new man#yea theyd accept me if i came out as a lesbian. its like having a daughter but not having to worry about grandchildren#but not if i was physically something else. they wouldn’t kick me out they wouldn’t be outwardly mad.#but they’d always be disappointed that shes gone. they’d always grieve her. they’d always insist she was still here#so thats why like. i can’t. im gonna have to turn eighteen move far away transition to the man i am and never return#let them believe their beloved daughter is missing rather than dead#and these kids. this one specific person actually. can just. be out and be happy and have their parents accept and love them unconditionall#or some never have to come out because they were born right and their parents will love them still and they don’t have to be as#as in danger about their rights right now because of the government#or feeling so Wrong their entire lives or even when they figure out what’s wrong that they cant fix it yet#or having to choose between being repressed and miserable about their real self forever or running away or having to live with eternal guil#while being themself and trying to be happy#they get to feel right about their identity and can comfortably fit in with groups#some cis people anyways#for others theres a lot of other external factors not about gender that makes some people so. kinda like this#like im completely sure there’s plenty people of color who feel this frustration with white people or disabled people about abled people#the frustration that people who were like born or raised or live certain way that they get to have all of these things
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Hey anybody going to talk about rescued sacrificial maidens. Like yes a guy with a fuck off sword turned up and so you're not getting fed to the dragon/water creature/mountain spirit/vague embodiment of all things scary and you get to go back home, but is that really home? Your mom hugs you and your dad says he's so happy you're alive and you know that when they said they'll do anything to keep you safe they didn't really mean it. They have a feast prepared and you get to taste what they cooked for your funeral, help wash the dishes after. And it's selfish to think that between the whole village with everyone in it and you they wouldn't pick the lesser evil but it still leaves an emptiness in your chest, knowing exactly how much your life is worth. And the neighbors smile at you awkwardly and the neighbors' kids yell "hey! I thought you died!" because they don't know not to do that yet and maybe you did. Maybe you did.
And the hero with the fuck-off sword rode off into the sunset the way they always do but you're still here and you herd the cows by the cliff where you were tied up in your cleanest clothes waiting to not be alive anymore and sometimes you think that would be easier and when you don't come back one day, you can imagine it's a relief for everyone involved. Maybe you'll be the new thing to haunt the mountain, or maybe you'll follow down the road and listen for cries that sound like yours did. Either way, there's little left to fear. You know exactly how much your life is worth.
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dni.
#i don't know how people who do not have siblings live cause#whenever i feel the very intense and real urge to genuinely kms their faces pop up in my head#my sister laughing at my jokes after she had a bad day and saying with tears in her eyes that hey you know what i need you so much please#call me constantly when im abroad i don't know what I'd do without you#and my little brother not trusting my parents advice when he is sick because he thinks they're constantly telling him to do a hundred thing#anyway but listening to me when im giving the exact same advice asking me such innocent questions that seem so obvious#but he doesn't know because of his childlike innocence#like why are we not going to the doctor if i have fever how do our parents know how to cure it and how can i take dolo without a doctors#prescription and me laughing and explaining that it's okay it's normal it's paracetamol you don't have to worry you'll be okay in day or 2#or how he's excitedly telling me that these are the colleges i looked up are they good how do you know if they're good#he needs me so much even tho he'd never say it they've been even worse parents to him than to me he doesn't have anyone else#so then how could i be so selfish and hurt the two people who love and need me the most the two people on whom if i see tears#it feels like a stab directly to the heart?#but i can't help it. can't help fantasizing about dying#maybe myself but even better if by some terminal illness#i keep thinking me lying in a hospital bed and doctors saying there's a complicated procedure and it's very expensive and results aren't#even guaranteed so are you sure want to be treated#and me saying no please let me die my parents would protest at first they would feel it is their duty responsibility to keep me alive#but id say please i don't have anything to live for and i just CAN'T i can't do this i can't live this life it's too difficult im not#capable im already failing please just let me give up and then they'd agree#and then i would tell my father that im sorry i couldn't pay you back for all the money you spent on me my education my living expenses#but atleast now i won't ask for anymore money from you ever you'll probably get some money from the insurance policies#and i would tell my mom that sorry for being such a burden on you all these years but now you can finally be free with the 2 kids you#actually love and you never have to cook for me again or fold my clothes or feel bad that i won't attend your family functions#and i would tell my siblings that i know it's sad but please i know you guys are strong and bright and you're gonna be very happy and#successful and that's enough for me im sorry we couldn't have our dream raksha bandhan away from our parents but you can carry on without#me and ill always love you. and that would be it.#i know it's wrong to fantasize so much about dying and ive read somewhere that they may just seem like thoughts now but if left untreated#one day you're gonna have a bad day and you're gonna find the perfect opportunity and you were so sure you were never going to do it but#then you do. but i don't know how to stop
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Yall wanna hear a kinda funny, kinda sad story about my grandmother and hetero-normativity?
Ok, so... when my grandmother was in her 50s (I was an infant), she met a woman at the Unitarian Church. And, as can happen when you meet your soul mate, this event made it impossible for her to deny parts of herself that she had fiercely hidden her whole life.
All the drama- their affair being found out, the divorce with my grandfather, the court battle over who got the house, happened while I was a baby. Even in my earliest memories, it's just Mama Jo and Oma, and my grandfather lived elsewhere (first his own apartment, then a nursing home, then with us.)
But here's the thing- no one ever explained any of this to me. No one ever sat down and was like "hey, Rosie, so do you know what a lesbian is?" It was the 90s. It was Texas. I think my mom was still kinda processing all this, and just assumed that like... I was gonna figure it out. Don't mention it, let it just be normal. Like I think my mom thought that if she explained the situation, she would be making it weird? I dunno.
But like. In the 90s, in all the movies I had seen and books I had read, do you know how many same sex couples I had seen? Like. 0. Do you know how many "platonic best friend/roommates" I had seen? A lot. I had no context, is what I'm saying.
I literally thought this was a Golden Girls, roommates, besties situation until I was like...I dunno, 11? 12?
It was actually their parrot, an African Grey named Spike, imitating my grandmothers voice saying "Johanna, honey, it's getting late", that triggered the MIND BLOWN moment as I realized that *there's only one master bedroom and it only has 1 waterbed* when all the pieces finally clicked.
Anyway. I think it's a real important thing for kids to know queer people exist, for a lot of reasons, but also because kids can be clueless and it's embarrassing to have your grandmother be outted by a parrot because everyone just thought you'd figure it out on your own.
Anyway, here is my grandma and her wife, my Oma, after they moved to Albuquerque to be artsy gay cowboys and live their best life. They helped run a "Lesbian Dude Ranch" out there (basically just with funding and financial support. As Oma has explained "traditionally, most lesbians don't have a lot of money" so they wrote the checks and let the younger ladies actually run the ranch.)
#this is the grandmother who passed away unexpectedly earlier this month#she was so cool yall#and so weird#they got married twice by the way once when Massachusetts legalized it and once when New Mexico did#they hiked the grand canyon together#they had a european river cruise planned for this fall#she was 89 and she wanted to see the whole world with her wife#and they were working on it#literally i thought they were roommates#and there was only one bed
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Ehhh tag rant, tw for emotional neglect? I think.
#sadacon codec#im still so stilted and apologetic when someone comforts me because my parents have really fucked me there#my dad yelled at me for crying and my mom would let him do that so her comforting felt fake#i apologize when i cry because im so scared im gonna get yelled at or viewed as annoying#his fucking mom died and he can cry but when i cry about the same thing he looks at me and just tells me theyre trying to head home soon#its all hks family too and i dont think one person realizes what kind of person he is and what hes done to me and i dont think a single#fucking one would do anything#when i was a child i was a walking red flag of fucked up kid and no one every did a thing#and anyone that did was pushed out so fucking quickly#seeing normal family dynamics and dads that dont get angry when their kids crack a joke is so weird#hey dad maybe my cousins are successful because theyre fathers actually seemed to give a shit and love them#i tried to reminisce. give him one memory of us he hasnt fucked and he said#if you say so. thats its#my mom can live in her fantasy world that hes just depressed or he didnt use ti be like that and i dont fucking care#ive lived terrified of him my whole life and im so fucked up i cant even get out correctly
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