#it's not even meant to be an improvement on season 3 where i attempt to rewrite it with stakes and plot. Dani is just there in the episodes

[lilianade-comics]

The mayor's daughter

[detailtilted]

Comic-Con 2008 - Enhanced Edition of Supernatural Panel

Direct link. Warning: Some of the special content I added has big spoilers for season 4 beyond the original videos.

This video features Jared, Jensen, Eric Kripke, Sera Gamble, and Ben Edlund. If you've already seen the original videos and you're wondering why you'd want to watch this, see the details about the enhancements below. For other enhanced videos, check my YouTube channel or my Tumblr index post.

Video Improvements - Upscaled, fixed bad aspect ratios, improved colors

I received a great deal of help from @sensitivehandsomeactionman on the color correcting. They gave me tips on how to achieve better colors and they even took a screen shot from my video and corrected the colors on it with their own software to provide me with an example of what was possible. Having that example to reference was invaluable for me, because I'm not good with colors.

Without that help, Jared and Jensen would have looked like they were in training to become the world's tallest Oompa Loompas. Any remaining color wonkiness (Wonka-iness?) is due to my own failure to apply what I was taught and my failure to see the colors properly. But look at that difference! I was pretty excited about this.

Combined Videos to Cover Entire Event

As with my other enhanced videos, I combined multiple videos to create as seamless a video of the event as possible, from beginning to end. For my earlier videos, that meant combining maybe 5 videos. For this one, I used a total of 19 videos from 3 different sources. A lot of those were used for the talking head bubbles, explained further below.

None of the videos are my own. My video description on YouTube has links to the original videos I used.

Good, Color-Coded Subtitles

As with my other enhanced videos, I attempted to provide accurate and as-complete-as-possible subtitles. They're color-coded to make it easier to tell who's speaking. This is especially helpful when people are speaking at the same time, or when the speaker is off camera.

Since there were so very many people talking in this video, I doubled up on a couple colors if I thought I could do so without it being too confusing. Here's the complete color key:

Red = Jared Blue = Jensen Brown = Eric Kripke Pink = Sera Gamble Purple = Ben Edlund Green = General audience Yellow = The person asking the questions. In the first half this is the moderator, Alynda Wheat. In the second half, this is the fan at the mic. White = Mostly the publicist (Holly Ollis), but a couple times it's used for people off camera who I believe were Comic-Con staff. Two shades of orange = surprise guests

Additional Clarifying Content

As with my other enhanced videos, I've added some images to help add clarity to the references used by the speakers. I added images of characters and scenes referenced from the show, images to explain various pop culture references, as well as some explanatory text to help add details or clarity when I thought it might be useful.

I mostly kept this extra content to the sides so that, if it doesn't interest you, you can hopefully ignore it and focus on the main part of the video. Unlike my previous videos, sometimes this is on the left side and sometimes it's on the right side. The margins shift depending on where the talking head bubbles are.

Talking Head Bubbles - Jared and Jensen front and center, but other speakers visible too

This "enhancement" isn't anywhere close to perfect, but it sure as heck isn't from a lack of effort. This represented at least half if not two-thirds of the time I spent working on this video.

I always find the Comic-Con videos frustrating to watch. When the camera moves to other people who are talking, I want to see Jared and Jensen instead. I like to see their reactions and sometimes they do funny things that get missed. But when the camera is steadfastly focused on Jared and Jensen, I also get frustrated because I can’t see the people who are talking. Nope, you can’t win with me! I want to see everything.

I attempted to mitigate this frustration by adding talking head bubbles. The main source videos I used were the ones with the most constant and stable focus on Jared and Jensen. However, if one of the other source videos had a decent focus on another guest, I inserted a small window into that other video as seen below. Eric shows up on the left, because that's where he was seated relative to Jared. Sera and Ben show up on the right, because they were on the other side of Jensen.

Like I said, it's not anywhere close to perfect. Trying to make the bubbles look stable was an enormous challenge for me. Behind the scenes the person in the bubble was bobbing and weaving all over the original video frame, so I had to constantly adjust the position of the secondary video to keep the subject centered in the bubble. They also aren't always bubbles. The people taking the videos often had the writers on the edge of the frame because they wanted to capture Jared or Jensen too, so the bubbles start to collapse when they get too close to the edge because there isn't enough video surrounding them to form a circle.

I haven't decided if the end result was worth how much effort I put into these darn "bubbles", so I'd welcome any feedback -- good or bad.

[coraniaid]

oooh Eighteen Dollars!!

This is the newest WIP I have and the only I've not really written much of yet.

I posted something recently about not quite getting why people so often imagine that a Jenny Calendar who survived Season 2 would naturally fall into a parental role for Faith, and this fic is my attempt to build on that. I've always found Jenny really hard to write -- it's a challenge to capture the parts of the character I find interesting while at least acknowledging the parts I don't, and to avoid falling into the trap of just making her the Scoobies' Mom because she's Giles girlfriend -- and this is an exercise in trying to improve on that.

So, it's a Jenny POV. She survived Season 2, obviously. Kendra came back to Sunnydale earlier than she did in canon and so was around to protect her from Angelus in Passion, but otherwise that season went mostly as in canon. But the gang still didn't get around to trying to restore Angel's soul until Becoming, and Drusilla still showed up to stop their attempt. And Kendra still died (which Buffy blames herself for and assumes Jenny in particular blames her for, while equally Jenny blames herself and assumes Buffy blames her too: they aren't exactly talking to each other about it). Buffy still ran away to LA after sending Angel to hell (Jenny wasn't around to try the second attempt at restoring his soul -- she was too badly injured -- but Willow managed to do it), and sometime over the summer Jenny and Giles -- who had gotten back together briefly after Passion -- broke up again (Jenny didn't think he should be looking for Buffy since she obviously didn't want to be found).

Jenny's been staying in the Sunnydale Motor Inn when she runs into Faith. She doesn't know who she is at first -- she hadn't even thought about there being a new Slayer after Kendra died, and she's not exactly on speaking terms with the rest of the Scooby Gang. But once they figure each other out a little bit -- once Jenny realizes Faith isn't a vampire and Faith accepts that Giles didn't send Jenny over to spy on her but this is where Ms Calendar actually lives -- they strike up an uneasy (and at least for a while not especially close) friendship as the two outsiders in the group.

I really don't want this to become a full Season 3 rewrite -- it's bad enough I'm writing another one -- but I do want to at least cover some of the key moments of that season that Faith (and, obviously, Jenny) isn't around for in canon. I mean, for example, the aftermath of Homecoming and the whole of Band Candy and Gingerbread. I want to write about a version of Revelations where Faith gets to tell Jenny Calendar that Angel is still alive. Oh, and I want to talk about Helpless as well. I really want both Faith and Jenny to find out about the Cruciamentum together.

But, really, the goal is to write a version of Jenny who isn't somehow an emotionally self-aware super-competent group mom, but instead something more like the young woman we actually see on screen. Jenny Calendar the techopagan, who turns up late and a little hungover to the class she's meant to be teaching, and stays at school surfing the net and chatting with her mystical contacts around the world after all the children are gone because she doesn't have a computer at home (or a home at all, really), and who was almost murdered by the vampire who her uncle sent her to this town to spy on, and who blames herself for the death of said uncle and of the Slayer who protected her, who has a thing for older men with mysterious pasts, and who is more like Buffy than either of them are every going to admit.

A Jenny Calendar who looks at the friendless teenager renting the motel room next to hers for eighteen dollar a day and thinks "okay, my life isn't going the way I planned, but obviously it could be worse...".

[onceuponalegendbg-rwby]

RWBY Retrospective - Volume 2

With Volume 1's success, the team now had proof that there was an audience for this show. They just had to see if they could keep the momentum going.

Volume 2 is in an interesting position because it basically works as a middle chapter of a prologue, meaning it's meant as a connection point for V1 and 3. Not to say nothing happens, quite the contrary, but that it feels even more open ended than V1's finale. Our team even mentions that there's still so many questions and things to solve. However, V2 is a step forward for the series regardless.

From the first shot the show is letting us know that things have improved. The textures for the buildings look better, no longer just flat images. The first real shot we see of Beacon is grand and a far cry from episode 2 of V1's. Same can be said for the NPCs. Gone are the Shadow People and their comedic potential, now we have actual models. The coloring is also so much better, saturation levels seeming to have evened out enough to where characters like Weiss with her mostly white color scheme no longer hurt your eyes to look at.

This volume also does a better job at expanding on characters that didn't get much focus previously - characters like Yang and Pyrrha. It's not flawless in this department but there's an attempt made to give these characters depth past their initial impressions and I'd say that they succeed.

The show still carries over some of it's pacing issues from before, but they don't feel nearly as distracting as V1, most likely due to the episodes all being a more consistent and longer length than V1's four-six minute two parters. There's also just the lingering problem of not having the time to properly explain some mechanics of the world, which is no doubt why the World of Remnant videos that started up in this volume felt necessary to the crew.

Some General and Unfiltered Thoughts

While I know people have some issue with the whole Neptune - Weiss - Jaune part of the season, it doesn't really bother me, personally. It's just kind of there. I mostly just end up feeling bad for Pyrrha the whole time until Jaune gets his head on straight.

I find that the season's humor has improved. There's a few jokes that don't work for me, but over all I found myself laughing more. It feels like they're finding their footing a little better in that department here.

The foreshadowing is through the roof this volume, and given what happens in V3... Well. Let's just say it was warranted. Our trio of baddies take the stage and set us up for the inevitable fall.

While I love the Food Fight and the RWBY vs Roman fight I think the fights during the Mountain Glen arc (before and after the train) are kind of meh? A lot of it is split screen shots, and while CFVY's entrance is cool the rest feels... anticlimatic. Which I understand is a little bit of the point in regards to episode 12 but when viewed in a vacuum it's... not my favorite.

Genuinely the Burning the Candle Bee scene still remains one of my favorite scenes in the entire show. The lighting is gorgeous for early RWBY, Barb and Arryn do a great job, and the music is on point. There's just something so warm (heh) about that entire interaction and I will fight anyone who says this wasn't some of the best stuff in the first three volumes.

Music, as always, fantastic. Though I still cannot stand the rap in Caffeine.

[pawprints-upthehill]

Saturday 17th June --

The new Good Omens season 2 trailer has reawaked my love for this show and I decided to blow the dust of an old AU. I've always loved the ideas for Reverse Omens I've seen here on Tumblr and back in 2019 I wanted to put my own spin on it. I wrote a whole plan out for a full story and even wrote parts of it! Then....I never finished or posted any of it. So here's a very small scene from the AU I've been calling Mirror Omens that I wrote today. Same with my last writing post, this is very much a WIP and has not been anywhere near proof-read.

Aziraphale -> Aziron

Crowley -> Raphael

Cute little fluff scene below the cut!

Mirror Omens, Chapter 3

Aziron should have known better. There was no way Raphael was going to drop the subject of the Antichrist so easily, he knew that. But, he had to say, four slices of cheesecake into this particularly obvious attempt at subterfuge, he didn’t much care. Later, surely, he would curse his obvious weakness for sweet treats (as well as what he hoped was his less obvious weakness for any ridiculous suggestion the angel had that meant they spent more time together) for giving Raphael the ability to manipulate him so easily. 

Right now though, he was happy to simply sit back and enjoy.

“Marvelous,” he sighed contentedly, sitting back a little more in his chair. He eyed the angel opposite him with casual curiosity, his earlier ire soothed (as the pesky angel no doubt knew it would be) by cake. “The coffee’s good I take it? Even with all the ridiculous things you put in it?”

Raphael, for his part, shrugged, looking amused. “The fact a palette as refined as yours thinks adding some sugar and cinnamon to coffee is ridiculous never ceases to amaze me,” he quipped, and the demon practically purred at the easy praise.

“As far as I’m concerned, my dear, the only way to improve coffee is to add it to cake - I do love coffee cake,” Aziron added thoughtfully.

Raphael put his mug down, tilting his head slightly with a knowing look in his golden eyes. “I think they have some of that too, do you want some?”

Oh how well this angel knew him. It was dangerous, truly, and he should be concerned that he could read him so easily. In fact it wasn’t just dangerous, it was downright absurd that anyone as smart as he should allow such a thing to continue unchallenged.

“Ooh I don’t see why not, if you insist,” Aziron agreed, enjoying Raphael’s snort of amusement as he stood. 

He watched, despite telling himself not to, as the archangel walked to the counter and ordered his cake and another coffee for himself. He let his eyes linger where they certainly shouldn’t have and he felt a growl growing in his chest when the barista smiled just a bit to widely upon seeing him again.

Oh yes. He was very foolish indeed.

[somany-fandoms-solittle-time]

“What’s so Special About the Moon?”

Jamil Viper x MC(insert character Mac)

Ch. 1 – (Ch. 2) – Ch. 3 – Ch. 4 – Next – Previous

Holy FUCK seasonal depression has been hitting early this year and it’s been taking foreverrrrr to finish this chapter, type it up, and edit it!!! I’ve more or less got a good idea of where the last two chapters are headed, but all I’ve written are the first and last paragraphs if I’m being completely honest. ON THE OTHER HANDDDDD, my therapist recommended a nonfiction book about writing that I’ve put on hold at the library mom mom works at (le *gasp* Author Lore). But n e way… It was a bit of a challenge trying to write a tad more into Jamil���s perspective without completely saying the quiet part out loud. He’s constantly contradicting himself because of his childhood trauma so I added my own trauma onto my oc as a lil ~Treat~ to myself. I experimented a little bit with the separate aspecs of Jamil, but I’m not entirely sure how well I pulled it off. Feel free to leave a comment or any advice over what you thought or how I can improve! Except anything to do with Mac. Mac is basically just me if I was seeped in more trauma and I had developed my skills more…

NOTE: IF YOU GET TRIGGERED OVER DESCRIPTIONS OR DEPICTIONS OF DISSOCIATION, MILD SELF HARM, DEPRESSIVE SPIRALS OR ANYTHING OF THE LIKE SKIP THIS CHAPTER/STORY AND GO CUDDLE UP WITH SOMETHING A LITTLE LIGHTER (no shame y’all. We all have those days where all we can handle is Fluff and/or Smut without all the extra heavy feelings.)

True to word, Mac had practically dragged Adeuce and Jack, along with a ragtag group of other NRC students, apparently “following orders” to finish the cleaning process. Kalim had also insisted that they could still use the laundry room even though Jamil was taking the rest of the day off—which meant all he could do was stew in his room while going over his prior conversations and figure out the best way to ignore how much it affected him.

But just because he was (stubbornly) ignoring running into the Perfect again doesn’t mean he wouldn’t listen in. Jamil knew the dorm’s infrastructure before it was even built! Every keyhole and secret passage way was at his disposal.

On quiet feet, and motivated by a raging headache, the dark-skinned Vice Warden slipped through the halls and walkways of Scarabia. He made sure to have a pair of wireless headphones resting around his neck (to slip on for a believable excuse). They were currently off, so he could keep his ears open to any disturbances, but his right hand hovered nearby just in case.

Mentally, Jamil took note of the heat rising with the desert sun. MC was smart enough (and willing) to start early in the morning. Even with how drowsy xey were, barely dressed and pathetically trying to make the numerous piles of laundry look presentable. They were an idiot. And apparently an observant, suffocatingly kind, filter-less, crass, overbearing Auntie of an idiot as well. So much like Kalim… Uncomfortably close to Kalim’s personality but more matured. Understanding (as much as he hated to admit it).

“So stupid,” Jamil whispered under his breath with a frown. Even still, the long track combined with swirling heat only fueled his practiced, calculating mind. This would be the least opportune moment to evaluate his observations over all the nonsense that Mac had been saying over the course he’d ‘known’ them… He was FAR too worked up in his room to think properly, but now his brain foolishly circled back to early that morning in-time with his silent steps.

. . . . . . .

Before the magicless (legal adult) freshman made their stiff exit, back when Jamil was analyzing each and every twitching muscle in xeir clenched jaw, Jamil was attempting to fire back with a quip. There would be no way for the two to be able to continue working in such tense atmosphere MC had created. He was about to tell them off or make up an excuse, when his more childish monologue betrayed his consciousness.

Everything they said was so unfair. So blisteringly close to the truth, but blunt and lacking the usual grace, empathy or even a teasing lilt. Mac’s usual tired, dragged out fond sarcasm, like an older sibling trying to teach the youngsters without sounding too parental, was long gone. In it’s place was the same forceful, pinprick power int their eyes he’d seen through the cloud of Blot. Somehow, between hallway conversations and Jamil threatening their life, the Ramshackle Perfect had found a crack in his wall and stared him down.

Dishonest. He’d called Jamil out for being dishonest as if it wasn’t just the ingrained second-nature of a resentful servant, born and breed to stalk any threats to the boy that owned his life. His falsehoods had only ever hurt fools and ruffians who vied for Kalim’s life. No one else minded his shifting tongue or blank and burned-out eyes. No one bothered. This was what he was made for.

“Just because you’re not hiding your bitter, knee-jerk reaction from an unfair world doesn’t mean you aren’t still hiding away and lying about your more vulnerable emotions.”

They had no right—no FUCKING RIGHT—to say any of that to him. What could they know about being someone’s shadow? About being stuck shadowing the overbearing rays of the sun? Bound by the pull, the gravity of the two boys birth, Jamil would forever be orbiting just outside of what he can never have. Denied the attention, the affection, the true praise for all the great accomplishes he had to forefeet to a spoiled, airhead brat! Everything he’d been denied since he was just a child…

And yet, there was some part of himself that couldn’t lie about how they were right. How xey might know, at least to some extent, what he had been through. The tiredness, the pitiful, the soulless look deep in his eyes that would fade in and out of reality hinted to just how cruel of a life Mac must’ve had (or at least what they remembered of it) lived. Did he know what it was like to be used? To be looked past? Could their life had led to perpetual people pleasing or hiding xemself for survival or constantly worrying about what would happen if xey ever upset anyone… ever made a mistake?

Could they be so similar? Even with how happy and carefree and Kalim-like they were during the day?

They were infuriating… Oh, Great Merciful Seven, he had never felt so invigorated. It was frightening. It was exciting.It couldn’t go any farther than this moment or else all that he’s worked for would simply disappear.

An eight year old Jamil, shoved deep down in the vipers den, was screaming and flailing his arms to be noticed. To be recognized by such ad honest and trusting and supportive figure like--

Jamil’s mind had already been jumping through extra hoops than his regular mental gymnastics in order to process and combat the Perfect’s comments. It was making him feel far too vulnerable. Like a mothering hen, Mac couldn’t keep out of anyone's business. Even when they were so clearly already run ragged and probably on the verge of snapping.

It was almost ironic, how overly worried and caring and just… persistent they were when it came to the students of NRC. Especially towards the ones that had gone out of their way to hurt xem. How could it be possible that this nosy stranger, that came out of nowhere, could simultaneously be so cautious and caring towards someone they obviously… didn’t deserve their kindness. Jamil had received constant reassurance from the paradoxical force of nature that is the Ramshackle Perfect.

It was so unfair. How Jamil was this dark & twisted, manipulative asshole who’s had to pretend to be the perfect, caring servant. AND MAC! That moron got to be the enamored exasperated force that everyone flocked towards without having any real skill? Xey had even less to their name than Ruggie and yet the charisma and favor that only Kalim could harness. Was that how the two became friends? Some secret power those two perfected at their bullshit “Music Club” in order to blind the rest of us peasants to bend to their will!!! (Of course not Jamil, neither are smart or cruel enough to pull something like that).

Even on days like this, when the Perfect was snappy and apathetic, they were 100x more genuinely thoughtful and kind. What gave him the right to be so bitchy and always know better? MC couldn’t possibly be that much older…

. . . . . . .

Just as Jamil was getting frustrated with trying to rearrange his thoughts, he heard Mac directing the small herd of students.

“Okay, Sebek and Jack! You two can carry the most—”

“What about the Great Grim Hench human! Myah!”

“—and have pretty decent control over that floaty spell—”

“Human! I have already informed you—”

“Can it, you unfriendly Green Giant! Once more, the two linebacker fuckers (seriously how are y’all 16 and NOT on steroids) and Grim, I guess, will grab the thick curtains and the runner rugs. Ruggie could run—heh—run down to Sam’s to grab whatever fancy thread and whatnot to fix the throws. That pile of blankets aaaaaaaaand that miscellaneous crap also needs so mending, right Rugs?”

“Shye shee shee, sure thing Boss! An’ who’s tab will our order be account’d for?”

“Ughh, if Sam won’t let you put it directly on Crowley’s personal account then tell him it’s for the school…. It’s technically not a lie so~”

“Gotcha!” There was already a sound of shuffling and light small talk, but the easy banter and direction between the two made Jamil restless. When had MC and Leona’s hyena lackey become so close? When did they start working together so seamlessly?

“OK… Silver. You up for a quick fetch quest?” Silver’s soft yet serious reply also shocked the Vice Warden. Why were the Diasomnia students even HERE? Jamil had thought Silver was visiting Kalim?!

“Of course. Fa—Lila had instructed Sebek and I to assist you in any way we can. You’re a valuable friend of his after all.”

“Kid, chill. Lils and I gossip and rock out in club together. We don’t have a Blood Oath or something,” Mac huffed out a small, tired laugh, “But thanks for the help anyhow! All I need you to do is run over to Heartslybul and check if Riddle would be willing to check over the china and silverware in Ramshackle. The main dinning room is just left of the Kitchen, down the hall a ways. The door should be unlocked (not that that would stop any of you crazy ass wizards) but if not, just let the Ghosts know you’re helping out. I let them know we’ll be busy for the next coupla months.”

“And how are you planning to get our tea-sized tyrant to do all that?” the red-headed Freshman asshole asked his friend with a snarky tone.

“Ace…!”

“Knock it off Ace!”

“You’re not funny man.”

A cacophony of voices followed in argument before the someone let out a snort, “… It’s a little funny.”

“Guys, just ignore him. Anyway, Silver, on the long table has all the bit and bobs of dish sets I was able to scavenge so far. There’s also a few boxes of stuff crammed in the hallway closet, but I haven’t had time to check if they’re in good shape or not.”

“Trey-Senpai said something about convincing House Warden Riddle to lend you an extra tea set. Who knows how many we’ve got stored away in the dorm, I mean, we’ve used a different set with every Birthday and Unbirthday!” Mac’s Freshman blue guard supplied with earnest.

“Oh la la~ Deuce, could you go with Silver and track Trey and Cay down as well? Cater already promised to help touch up the ballroom in exchange for some behind-the-scene selfies, but if y’all remind them I’ll be taking care of Heartslybul Resident Troublemakers for a while I could talk Trey into updating the kitchen a little!”

“And I guess that means it’s just the two of us~” One half of the Trouble Makers teased.

“Ace… You get to help Rugs! And I think we could use some extra soap and—look at that! It’s practically lunch! Everyone, let’s meet back at Rams in 30 so Ace-kun can treat us to some lunch.”

“What’re you planning to do, Perfect!” He snapped back in retaliation.

“I still need to collect what’s out on the clothes line, fold ‘em and wait for this last load to finish drying. After lunch, a few of us can finish mending what can be salvaged and iron or steam whatever needs it. If this takes longer than an hour, just start putting shit away and I can fix it later.”

“Grrrmph… This’ll take all day!” Grim whined at nearly a decibel only dogs could hear.

“Relax Grim, you already got to nap half the day. Think about it this way… by this time Monday the dorm will be halfway livable!” Mac sarcastically cheered in response.

After a moment of two of grumbling from the first years, and a few goodbyes, Jamil could hear the mages-in-training all leave Scarabia’s laundry room and make their way through the commons. Instead of heading back to start lunch (it is TECHNICALLY his day off), he continued to listen to the shuffling of cloths being handled. Which was quietly drowned out by the sound of Mac humming to xemself.

Really, he should have left by now. Why would he want to risk the chance of being dragged into more cleaning that wasn’t even his priority. (Why did he still feel the need to manage and control other’s work?! It’s just adding more stress to his already full plate by sticking his hand in--)

Starling Jamil out of his thoughts, Mac started to sing lightly under their breath. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the Sophomore remembered Kalim excitedly prattling on about how Xe’d become an “unofficial member” of the Pop Music Club. The quartets sporadic sleepovers (for gossiping, exchanging new music, watching movies, light partying) had recently become a bi-monthly event.

“You are so much more than your father’s son/ You are so much more than what I’ve become/ Long before you were born there was light/ Hidden deep in these young, unfamiliar eyes/ A million choices, though little on their own/ Become the heirloom of the heaviness you’ve known.”

Mac knew they were close to dissociating. It was why they made sure to kick everyone out before someone commented on it. Xe’s pretty sure either Ace or Jack were on the verge of probing them when it took them a full ten seconds for xem to laugh at Ruggie’s joke (something about Grim getting his fur all over the white sheets while napping).

After finally having a private space to breath, the pent up guilt and anguish came back to bite them like a vengeful bitch. Hot pressure, like a balloon expanding in his chest, ready to burst even from the tiniest prick, closed their throat back into a steady hum. Hot pressure. Hot machines. Even the humid air made Mac feel like zey were floating and melting at the same time. Xeir hands continued the practiced motions while screeching words resonated deep in their head. Xe kept humming even as a play-by-play echoed back all of his worst apprehensive and aggressive and obnoxious comments. By now the room must’ve been bubbling, threatening to boil over and pop the picturesque serenity; sunlight stabbed through the windows enough to blind the rooms image and even making it impossible for Mac to simply see the cloth in zeir hand.

Gasping for breath, they finished singing: “… When you inherited/ A fight that you were born to lose/ It’s not your fault/ No, it’s not your fault/ I put this heavy heart in you/ I put this heavy heart in you.”

At some point, Mac dropped whatever aged silky item they were mindlessly folding to scratch at xeir arm. It was a practiced movement; a purposeful, forceful movement that left harsh, heavy, thick red lines up and down his rough, patchy forearm… just barely grazing a faded tat in the center of their wrist. Up and down. Up and down. Up and Down. Jamil decided to take his chance now, before their blood could dye the freshly cleaned laundry.

“It’s getting late, isn’t it?” He tried to stay cordial and neutral to not startle them too bad, but Xe still practically jumped while turning around. How troublesome. “Why don’t you go meet up with the others? I’ll just take care of what’s left here.”

“Shit! J-Jamil, you sneaky sonuvabitch… One of these days I’mma put a bell on you!” The startled Perfect rambled a little breathlessly. They were still trying to come back into their own body that zey hardly realized what Jamil even said. After a few moments they finally processed the emotionless order that was given. “Dude, I already made you get up early on a Saturday morning. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

Jamil huffed at the verbal side-step. “MC, you’re about ten minutes from heatstroke,” He gave zem an annoyed, unimpressed frown when they tried to retort. “I was about to make some lunch and brew a little iced chai. You might as well have some before you finish up for the day.”

“Not a Chai person,” they replied in a rush.

“Scarabia is fully stocked with all of Kalim’s guest’s favorite drinks. At least drink a glass or two of water before the desert sun dries you up.” The banter Jamil returned sounded stiff, but encouraging; So inviting, even after Mac picked him a part like an entitled, wannabe Psych Major. It didn’t feel right to already be in his company again. Then again, xey were already pretty dizzy—dissociation, a mild panic attack, and dehydration paired with a casual case of overheating was a pretty gross cocktail for their body to handle.

The stress was really starting to affect xem lately. More nightmares, more… memories and fitful sleep led to a lower tolerance to the usual Hell that is NRC. On top of all that, it seems he might further fuck up the already unstable ‘friendship’ the two hardworking students had.

“Seriously, Viper you don’t have to feel like you need to smooth things over or take control to handle everything. What I said was none of my business, and all of this mess,” Mac stumbled towards the unfolded bundle they had been working on before feeling so woozy, “is my mess to deal with. I can grab a snack or something a little later.” They tried to put up a bigger front, but it was clear that their all-persistent (stubborn) resilience was breaking down with each degree raised in the room. It was an act coming to a close… And the only way for them to give in willingly was to force his hand.

“Mac. As the Vice Warden of Scarabia I can’t have you passing out.” Jamil blankly stated.

Fuck. The quiet tension edged with anxiety was not aided by their usual jokes. Both students were stubborn, but the magicless Perfect was tired and, as much as they did want to admit it, about to tip over any second. Better get it over with….

“Just for a minute.” Xey gave in.

(and as always, shoot out to @twst-beam and @krenenbaker for rehabilitating my love for writing and giving me feedback lol! I love reading your comments and tags so KEEP'EM COMING LOL!!!!)

[ajmargera]

anniversary Johnny Knoxville x reader

Authors note: Hi guys, first fic here I know its not the best but I'm trying to improve. please tell me how I did though. thanks for your time enjoy - Aj

swearing, fluff

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was in not way abnormal to be awoken by loud noises in the early hours of the morning at castle bam. However something was different about it.

It was loud outside and you heard multiple people talking and laughing. You rolled over in your pit of a bed to look at the old clock on the bed side table. it read '08:43' Fucking bastards you mutter out pulling the doves over your head in a pathetic attempt to drown out what noise you could.

Today of all days. Today was the day of johhny and yours 3 year anniversary, but could you see him? course not. Ever since this show started you and johnny have no time for each other. The day after the finale of season one of viva la bam the MTV producers were on set. After you'd had finished filming they spoke to everyone about what they had planned for season 2 . They wanted you to return as a frequent character. You didn't agree straight away as you weren't keen on the idea of it. But after talking with Johnny ,and allot of begging by bam, You and johnny agreed youd stay in Westchester for filming and go back to la the second the series is over. You couldn't really complain about the job, you got decently payed and got to spend time with your family. But you couldn't see the one person who meant the most to you in the world for another good few weeks.

'yo dude why don't we-' was all you heard before Ryan began to whisper. * Bastard* you thought to myself . After some more childish giggles from the people outside, the noise if the chainsaw starting echoed throigh the house.. 'Dunn give it hear you dick' you heard a familiar voice from outside. * was that. no. PJ??* you quickly thought. You jumped out of bed and put one of your brothers hoodies on. You rushed down the stairs of castle bam nearly tripping over whatever hazards where lying everywhere.

You ran down the stairs to be met by Vito and your dad sat at the dinning room table eating breakfast. 'Why the fuck you rushing round for you Dick, its not even 9 and your awake!' Vito said. ' leave her alone Vito' phil jumped in. ' fuck you Vito its too early for your shit' you hissed at him making my way to the front door. ' if its too early why you up?' Vito asked buttering more of his toast. ' cos those dickheads outside' you said rolling my eyes. ' oh yeah your boyfriend out there' he said but your dad kicked him. ' shut up Vito, she wasn't supposed to know' 'IT IS PJ' you said walking quicker to the door. ' How was I supposed to know that it was a secret?' was the last thing you heard from Vito before you ran out the house'

' Dude I don't see this man in a year and then I wake up to him destroying my hummer' you heard your brother shout. You walk round from the side of the house to look up and see your brother shirtless in the window. ' johnny your girlfriends here' Ryan shouted. You turned to the direction his voice came from and too your surprise him and johnny were stood on bams ,now destroyed, hummer. ' PJ' you shouted running from my position. 'y/n' he said getting off the roof of the destroyed car as you quickly made your way over to him. You jumped into his embrace taking in everything and forgetting that there was a camera crew recording your every move. ' happy 3 years baby' he mutters into your hair. ' happy 3 years pj' you mumble into his chest earing a smirk from him. 'CUT'

'So first you wake me up by destroying my hummer, start a prank war, then just sit there fondling my sister in MY driveway!' Bam shouted at johnny. Dico, raab, Ryan and you were sat round the kitchen counter when your brother and johnny walked in. ' grow up bam, I wasn't fondling your sister I was wishing MY girlfriend a happy anniversary.' he said back putting his arm around you and kissing your head. ' its your guys anniversary?' Dico questioned. ' yeah 3 years' you groggily replied. ' don't care if it's your anniversary or not Knoxville you've pissed me off' bam said storming out of the room. ' better go make sure he doesn't do anything stupid' Ryan said putting his dishes in the sink. ' ry, he is the walking definition of stupid' you said getting a smack off of your best friend and a laugh out of the other boys. Ryan left to catch up to bam. ' Brat' you muttered into your coffee. ' going to tell him you said that' raab hummed. ' fuck you ' you replied ' fuck you to dickhead' Raab that's Johnny's job' dico replied with a smirk on his lips. The boys started pissing themseves and so did johnny. ' johnny shut up' you whined. ' make him' Dico replied. You look at him disgusted. ' you better fucking run' you shout and kicking your chair out of the way. Dico and raab ran to the back door but before you can go after them you feel a strong hand on your arm keeping you in place. ' and where do you think your going princess' Johnny says hugging you and placing a kiss on your head. ' to kill them bastards' you replied kissing him on the lips. ' leave them alone baby there only having fun' he replied deepening the hug. You leaned into him more to feel more of his body heat. ' aww is my baby tired?' He questioned but got no repliey. You where too tired to reply, feeling how heavy your eyelids where getting, you just nodded into his chest. 'C'mon then' he cooed into your ear picking you up by the legs and began to carry you bridal style up to your room.

' ignore bam, he's just being a dickhead cos he's moody. think he's on his period or something' you mumbled Johnny laughed. ' never do pay attention to him doll face' he replied still walking up the stairs.

By the time yous too got to your room, you were nearly asleep. He placed you down on your bed and tucked you in. ' Get some rest princess' he said turning his back to leave. ' Pj don't go' you whined. ' I wasn't I was just shutting the door' he shut the door and then took his shirt off showing his beautifully toned chest. You put your arms out as an indication for him to hurry up. When he's done messing about he climbs into bed and puts his arms around you. ' happy anniversary Pj' you say warming into his touch. ' Happy anniversary baby' he says and kisses your head.

^END^

wow that was fun, requests are open if you have any and please tell me how I did. have a good day :) - aj

[koolfrogz]

Misconceptions Regarding MCC14

Recently there have been a load of misconceptions regarding many of the controversies that happened this MCC, especially on Twitter and Tiktok, so I thought I would make a giant post detailing these and why they are wrong so I can scroll through my dash in peace.

1. Hbomb purposely abused a glitch in HITW that got Illumina and Mefs banned from MCC on the practice server. 

This one can easily be broken down into three components: 1. Misinformation about the glitch itself 2. Misinformation about the Mefs and Illumina incident 3. When does abusing a glitch count as cheating?

Firstly, the glitch Hbomb used is actually very common in HITW and has been around since the game was first introduced. The devs know about it and have not made any complaints about it because the usage of the glitch itself is heavily luck based (depending on the ping of the player) and does not guarantee a win to any player who does get it. Take for example PearlescentMoon who has used the glitch repeatedly throughout many competitions (i.e MCC 11), yet has not gained any significant advantage through it because, again, there is still an element of skill required to use it. This glitch is not only known by the devs, but has been used before in HITW. It is not something new that Hbomb exploited as a means of getting ahead.

Secondly, the Illumina and Mefs situation is not at all comparable to the Hbomb one. Illumina and Mefs were using a completely different glitch which did guarantee a win to the player because it allowed the player to afk on the platform and allow the blocks to pass through them. They were not banned for exploiting this glitch, but rather reprimanded by Scott and the devs for not reporting it to them sooner. Mefs and Illumina are still allowed in MCC and only didn’t compete this time because the teams had already been formed.

Finally, in regards to the idea of cheating itself when using such a glitch, the idea that what Hbomb did counts as cheating is absurd considering past MCCs and the various glitches which have been abused as well. I’ve seen a lot of people mention the infamous Wilbur Glitch and I think its a perfect example. The Wilbur Glitch is from the game Rocket Spleef which was not played this MCC but certainly will be in the future. The glitch involves the player becoming stuck in a block and seemingly floating in the air allowing them to basically secure a win without admin intervention. This glitch is much more OP than the glitch Hbomb used, and we have even seen admins purposefully try to kill players for using it (i.e Philza MCC11). However, even when players have purposefully attempted to get it (Wilbur, Phil, Quackity, etc.), I have never seen the fandom react so negatively as to accuse them of cheating. It is not fair to accuse Hbomb of cheating when he abuses a glitch which has been in the game for ages and not do the same with your favourite creators who do a much more busted glitch as well. Personally, I don’t consider either of these cheating, but that’s my opinion.

2. They removed Parkour Warrior because Dream was too good. That’s not fair.

Okay, this one is very simple as its just not true. This falls under the assumption that Dream was the only player to finish Parkour Warrior which is not true (PeteZahHutt completed the course twice and was the first to ever complete it in MCC 6). While the reason the Parkour Warrior map was destroyed in MCC 11 is said to be that EpicLandlord destroyed it because “he was annoyed at how good Dream was at it”, this is mainly a joke (think of the Ranboo being banned from MCC situation, while Ranboo isn’t in MCC there’s no actual beef and he’s not actually banned.) Secondly, if you weren’t around for Parkour Warrior when it was still in MCC, or have only ever seen Dream or Pete’s POV, you might not know, but Parkour Warrior was a miserable game mode (think Build Mart/Bingo but ten times worse because there was no chance to improve your placement other than just being good at Parkour). The game was 10 minutes of pure rage and frustration from competitors, which while entertaining at times, wasn’t the best for content when only two POVs in the entire competition were deemed watchable. This also wasn’t good for a competition because it meant that only two teams at most were progressing (and by a large amount) due to one player while the rest lagged behind. It gave the teams which had Pete and Dream a huge advantage and made the game unfun and unfair to everyone else, so they revamped the game (to Parkour Tag) to make it an even playing field where everyone had a chance to win (in the spirit of MCC). 

3. Scott had an unfair advantage in the competition and should be removed from the Dev Team or the Participants List.

This one is slightly more nuanced and may not have a definitive answer. Yes, Scott does have a slight advantage due to being a part of the dev team in every MCC. However, this MCC was definitely an outlier in that fact. Scott has been known to share info and tips with his teammates in past MCCs, but it has not truly impacted their performance on a significant level because the players knew a majority of the information anyways (the game rules, maps, etc). This MCC was unfair because Scott had a bigger advantage than originally assumed (it doesn’t mean he did it with malicious intent, it just means there was a severe oversight when designing the maps and explaining the rules to players). Also, the idea that Scott was guaranteed a win because he was part of the Dev Team is ridiculous and untrue. 

Scott has always been treated on the same level as any other player and has not been giving special privileges because he helped work on the tournament. Take for example MCC 8. Scott was teamed with Tommy, Philza, and Wilbur, and they were doing very well! Then came (wait for it), Ace Race. Scott experienced a glitch which allowed him to remain with his Elytra activated for half the course and allowed him to skip over multiple checkpoints and placed him in first. However, by skipping over these checkpoints the game corrected his placement and put him in last. This was seen as not fair at the time and the Red Rabbits did complain, to which Noxite responded that there was nothing they could do and Scott would just have to finish the round as normal. This glitch severely impacted the Red Rabbits standings and possibly led to them not being able to compete in Dodgebolt that MCC. Yet, Scott was never treated differently than any other player throughout the glitch despite being a part of the Dev Team.

For the next MCC, I certainly think that Scott should be allowed to play as normal. I truly believe this MCC was a fluke, and although I too felt a little salty seeing my favourite go from 2nd to 30th, I believe that it is not worth getting up in arms about it because at the end of the day there is a whole season of competitions where any team has a chance to win. 

4. They should have restarted the round and allowed the participants to retry the map.

While I too would have loved to see a rematch for Ace Rae, I would like to say that I, and probably many of the people playing, knew that it wasn’t going to happen. Noxcrew is very strict about the way MCC is run, it’s why I think it works so well. However, this means that they will not budge on these rules even in the face of something such as this competition’s Ace Race debacle. In the entire time of MCC, Noxcrew have only once ever restarted a round. This was in MCC 7 during Battle Box after there were server issues causing extreme lag for everyone (and Wilbur and Magistrex blew up their own teammates). It was unlikely that they were going to restart the round due to the mistake, and honestly, it might’ve caused more trouble than good to reset the points and the entire round of Ace Race. 

5. The Spirit of MCC

This last one is more of a general statement than a misconception, but I would like to say that I have seen a lot of newer fans confused and upset about this MCC’s outcome. However, I would like to remind everyone that at the end of the day MCC is a for-fun tournament which brings MCYTs of every background to compete and have fun. Yes, there is an element of competitiveness as it is a competition, but it goes against the very spirit of the competitions to be toxic and rude in spite of not winning or placing lower than you expected. At the end of the day, it is a MC tournament that has no monetary prize other than a golden coin. It is immature to slander, spread misinformation, or send death threats and harassment over such a tournament and I wish shame upon anyone who’s first reaction to not winning or their team not winning was to do such a thing. MCC is a brilliant tournament that has changed the game for how MC Competitions have been done, and it is disheartening to see the hard work Noxcrew and Scott have done be disrespected as such. I hope next MCC the fandom can come together and make this the lovely fandom event it once was. 

[thesquidkid]

Who says science isn't exciting? A RNM science meta, part 1

Edit: I have created a spreadsheet, to make easier to navigate all the science!

Have you ever wondered, as you were watching this amazing little alien show, what the science was all about? What all the complicated scientific terms meant? Whether or not the writers researched what was going on? Well I have, and this essay might be for you! And don't worry, even if you know nothing about science, I will try to make it as clear as possible!

I am going (or at least attempt) to break down the science episode by episode, so buckle your seatbelts, sit down comfortably, and don't forget to get snacks and water. Bear with me, this is rather quite long, but I tried to be as precise as I could (and if anything isn't clear, please let me know so I can elaborate, I am very passionate when it comes to science...)

(This was not the original meta I was planning, but during my rewatch of season 3, I couldn’t help but get really interested in the science used in the show. Disclaimer, I am a maths major and my knowledge of biology is very very limited. That being said, I am a huge nerd, and decided to break down the science used in the show for fun. Yes, I need new hobbies. Oh, and English isn’t my first language so apologies in advance. Okay, now let’s jump into my favourite subject: science!)

For the purpose of my sanity, I will not dive into the aliens powers and how they work, but instead into the real-life science from the show.

This is the first part, that covers the first season. Here are the second and third parts.

If you want me to send you my sources, I can totally do that, but a lot of the papers I've read were only accessible through my university library. If I've missed anything, or if I wasn't clear, please let me know so I can modify it.

Okay, now, take a deep breath, and here we go!

(gif by the amazing @a1kitkat, and meta written for day 5 of @rnmmarchformeta. Massive thanks to @saadiestuff for her amazing transcripts)

1x01:

The first element of science is one which lays at the foundation of the show: we are not alone in the universe. This question is as old as mankind, and has faced quite a few debates, so I won’t really dive deeply into it, especially since in this show aliens are clearly considered reality. However, from a physical, astronomical and biological point of vue, we are indeed not alone in the universe. As of today, we know the existence of at least 3850 planets around other stars and it is statistically near impossible that Earth is the only one that can harbour life. And just like Alex, I believe in statistics. (I could happily elaborate on that subject, but since rnm takes the existence of aliens as granted, this might be for another day)

Then, at the high school reunion, Alex mentions "phenyl-2-propanone". Now, chemistry was not my strong suit in high school, so I had to do some rather extensive research, and I could still be very wrong. Phenyl-2-propanone, more commonly known as "phenylacetone", is a colorless oil that is soluble in organic solvants. In the United States, it is considered a level II controlled substance (basically it's not illegal, but it's use is controlled). It is created in the human body during effort (albeit in very low quantity), namely in the creation of amphetamine and methamphetamine (which can also be fabricated artificially). Amphetamine is a central nervous system stimulant that causes euphoria and improves cognitive control, while also increasing muscle strength. As a drug, it is prescribed for the treatment of ADHD, but is also a recreational drug that can lead to addiction and psychosis. Methamphetamine is a similar drug (where the name meth comes from), at a higher risk. (Once again, this show does not treat on drugs, so I won't elaborate, but I'll happily share my research with those interested :))

Michael responds that it's not P2P. Since I am not an expert, I can only speculate, but my guess is that the chemical that was found is in fact 2-Phenyl-2-Propanone, which is very similar to Phenyl-2-Propanone, with the exception that it has 2 atoms of hydrogen. This means that the ways to detect both chemicals are very very similar. 2-Phenyl-2-Propanone can be used in cosmetics (such as shampoo or soap) or cleaning products. This is where my hypothesis comes into play: acetone. We know that the aliens drink acetone, that it's like a painkiller for them. But what if it was more than that? What if pieces of alien tech had the same component as acetone (namely 2-Phenyl-2-Propanone)? We know that Michael had pieces of tech in his trailer, that he had managed to extract some of the fluids from the pods. It would only make sense that traces of 2-Phenyl-2-Propanone would still be around his airstream, and why Alex's engineers assumed it was meth (possibly from the concentration of it, which is higher in meth than in nail dissolvant for instance).

1x02:

Liz mentions her research to Max: vascular regeneration. In short, Liz's research is about restoring normal vascular functions, and the growth of new blood vessels. (I will go further into Liz's research later on, as the show dives deeper into it)

1x03:

"Chronic low-level anxiety keeps the hypothalamic pituitary adrenal axis activated." This is what Liz says when she starts her experiment on Max. Lots of complicated scientific words. Let's break them down, shall we? Chronic low-level anxiety: chronic means persisting for a long time or constantly recurring. Anxiety is a feeling of unease such as worry or fear. The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis (HPA) is a set of direct influences and feedback interactions between the hypothalamus (a part of the brain that controls body temperature, hunger, thirst, fatigue, and sleep), the pituitary gland (a gland the size of a pea that produces hormones which in turn regulate the growth of the human body, blood pressure, energy management, the sex organs, the thyroid glands, and some aspects of pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding, as well as the water/salt concentration in the kidneys and pain relief) and the adrenal glands (that produce adrenaline, and regulate the metabolism and the immune system).

Basically, what Liz is saying, is that chronic anxiety (when it is not at a worryingly high level) keeps the (human) body regulated, as it supposed to be. So, the fact that Max seems to be extra stressed would shift his hormone levels, leading to his body not being normally regulated -- i.e. raised body temperature, fits of anger, higher blood pressure, extra adrenaline, etc. All of which are symptoms Max seems to be having following Liz's resurrection.

Then, Max explains the effects that acetone has on them. Since this is all hand-wave science (not criticising, hand-wave science is really cool in science fiction), I won't really detail on that. Just remember kids, drinking acetone isn't good for your health!

Liz mentions animals and plants releasing electricity as a defense mechanism. This is a real fact (so cool, right?!), for instance, the electric eel can generate their own electricity. We call animals who generate electricity "electrogenic animals", and those who can detect electricity "electroreceptive". Most animals are electroreceptive, like the platypus, bees, sharks, dolphins, some types of bacteria, yeast, etc. And as for electrogenic animals, there are about 350 species of fish that can generate electric rays, which can be useful in the deep ocean as it is usually very dark. They also use it to attack their preys. The most fascinating part here is that electrogenic fishes range from a power of 1V to 860V (for reference, an AA battery generates 1.5V). The electric eel can produce rays of 860V, which as you can imagine, is pretty deadly for a human, but of course, the eel does not electrocute itself, as that might be quite inconvenient. (And now I can't stop thinking about Max hanging out with an eel...)

And as for plants, scientists have discovered that some trees can, with one single leaf, produce over 150V! (I am going off topic, but as I said above, I am really fascinated by cool science facts, and I will happily elaborate in another post, but for now, back to aliens!)

We can also try to explain how Max's powers work, based on a comparison with the eels. First, let's recall the fact that electricity is what makes our body work: the brain sends electric shocks (like orders basically) through the nervous system. Now, the eel behaves very similarly, except it can do something we can't: concentrate the electricity to one single spot. Then, Max would theoretically behave like an eel, by shifting the electricity coursing through his body in, say, his hands. But then, on a more morbid note, we can ask ourselves, if he could potentially direct the electricity in someone else. Is this just something that his brain does? (like an eel) Or could he absorb the electricity in someone else? (This is just me hypothesising, since the show barely explains how the alien powers work, or what are their limits. However, I do find the physics behind the powers to be extremely interesting, but this might be for another essay, as I am trying to preserve my sanity)

1x04:

At the hospital, after the blackout, Kyle tells Liz that they are doing "a study on angiogenesis" upstairs. This is strongly related to Liz's field, as angiogenesis is the formation of new blood vessels. It plays a critical role in cancer research as scientists developed "angiogenesis inhibitors", that can block the growth of a tumor (since a tumor needs blood to grow).

After checking Victor (the kid in the hospital), Kyle says that they lost "transcutaneous pacing". Another complicated scientific term. A transcutaneous pacing is a way of pacing a patient's heart during an emergency and stabilising the patient until further care can be admonished, by delivering short electric waves through the patient's body. In this case, since the town had suffered a blackout, the hospital couldn't provide a pacemaker, hence why they used a transcutaneous pacing. But even then, some power is needed, which is why they lost the transcutaneous pacing.

1x05:

Liz mentions more about her research: stem cell research, and vessel regrowth. Stem cells are the body's base cells, all the other cells are generated from the stem cells. This research is a rather controversial field (as Liz mentions), namely since it involves the destruction of human embryos, and that the subject of when life begins is highly controversial -- like the debate on abortion. (More on Liz's research as the shows progresses into it). We do see more on the controversy in 1x10, with the protestors outside the hospital, and later in 2x01 when Liz talks about regenerative medicine.

1x07:

Tw: autopsy, dissection Harlan Manes does the autopsy of an alien, and the term "midline laparotomy" is used. It is a cut that is made on the abdomen of a person (whether for autopsies, dissections, or surgeries). Midline simply means that the cut is in the middle of the abdomen. Usually the cut is made deep and long enough to grant access to the internal organs.

1x08:

Liz talks about the serum she created. "It eliminates the electromagnetic charge around Max's squamous epithelial cells". The epithelium is a type of tissue (along with connective tissue, muscular tissue and nervous tissue). Basically, the epithelium covers the outside of the organs and of the blood vessels through the body. There are three types of epithelial cells, but I will only go into the squamous type, as it is the one mentioned here. Squamous cells can be found on the top layer of skin, in the lungs and around the heart and the blood vessels. These cells filter what passes through the lungs, the heart and the vessels, and secrete a lubrification substance to help with the flow. It is also the most common type of cell found in urine, as the lubricant it secretes travels through the body and ends up in the bladder (though a too large amount could indicate a urine infection or certain types of cancer)

Liz's sentence her confuses me, and sadly I do not know any biology students to help me out. So all I have to rely on are the articles I found online and in the university library. But from what I've read, the squamous epithelial cells do not appear to be carrying an electrical charge (or at least not one that would be significant enough to have massive consequence as it is eliminated). However, there is a kind of epithelial cells (not the squamous type) that does carry an impressive charge of ions, namely the cells that help to our hearing (long story short, we can hear because we have little hairs in our ears that move with the air vibrations of sound, and those hairs send an electric charge to the brain, indicating that we are hearing something). Another kind of epithelial cell that carries a charge is the one that can be found in the retina (once again, by sending info to the brain).

So unless the serum makes aliens somehow deaf or blind, I'm going to assume that this science fact is purely an alien one. (Please bear in mind I am a maths major, and sadly biology was never a field I was good at. All my knowledge comes from reading various articles in the little free time I have, so if this is incorrect, I sincerely apologise)

More Liz science stuff! "We'll occlude the coronary artery of half the mice , reperfuse it..." To occlude (and this may be because English isn't my first language, but I genuinely thought it was 'occult', which is very weird) the coronary artery basically means that we reduce or block the blood flow that goes through one of the coronary arteries (the arteries that bring oxygenated blood to the heart). This then helps to stop a potential heart attach from happening. This can be done by inserting another vessel to bypass the narrow artery and improve the blood flow to the heart.

Basically, this means that half of the mice are close to going into cardiac arrest since there isn't enough oxygenated blood going to the heart, and one way to solve that would be by occluding the coronary artery.

"The serum is attacking her cytoplasm. Her cells are rotting". I think Kyle explains pretty nicely what is going with Isobel's cells, but just so that everyone is on the same boat, the cytoplasm is the gelatinous liquid found inside of a cell. Hence, if the serum attacks the cells from the inside, the cells basically end up like an apple being eaten by a worm from the inside out (not an ideal condition).

More Liz badassness! "I combined synthetic exothermic enzymes and melted my jewelry to create a solution that should manipulate the properties of the membrane". Considering she is talking about an alien pod, the properties of the membrane and the silver factor are all clearly science fiction. But, to focus on the science here, what does "synthetic exothermic enzymes" mean? An enzyme is a protein that acts as a catalyst (a component that accelerates a chemical reaction). Exothermic is a term used in thermodynamics (the dynamics of energy, namely heat, basically) -- it describes a reaction where the system involved (in this case, the enzymes in whatever reaction they found themselves in, possibly the breaching of the pod) releases energy to its surroundings, mostly under the form of heat.

My guess here, is that the exothermic enzymes help breach the pod by releasing heat during the chemical reaction. (Once again, maths major and huge nerd here, not a chemist. But my friend this was a good explanation so I'm just rolling with it).

1x10:

Alex codebreaking! (Also, this is a field I prefer a lot more than biology, so I will try to stay concise and not fangirl over maths) Just like Alex said, let's start with the Fibonacci sequence. The Fibonacci numbers (denoted F_n) form a particular sequence where each number is the sum of the previous two. The first term changes depending on the author (some omit the first two terms and instead start at 1 and 2, other at 1 and 1), but if we start at 0 and 1 we get: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, ... In Mathematics, these numbers often appear unexpectedly (trust me, when you least expect it, you end up with a Fibonacci sequence). The nth term of the Fibonacci sequence can be expressed in terms of n and of the golden ratio. The golden ratio is a really cool maths tool, when two quantities have the same ratio as their sum and the largest term (i.e. a and b have a golden ratio if (a+b)/a=a/b, when a>b>0). (This is so cool right?!)

But enough of me going crazy over maths, here Alex is referencing the Fibonacci search sequence, which is a method of searching a searched array using a divide and conquer algorithm. Basically, say we are looking for a F term in the array. We divide the array in 2 and search both halves for F. Then, we divide the half with F into 2 again and search for F. We repeat until we have isolated the F (i.e. we can restrict it to an open neighbourhood with radius arbitrarily small).

In this case, I assume Alex would enter the message Jim left Kyle as entries of the array, then would try to find a "letter" which can be recognised and isolated, and would apply the Fibonacci search sequence until he found a pattern for each symbol, leading to a potential translation. Said like this, it does seem tedious, but in fact, if we start with a knows "letter" or "word" (word would be preferred, less computation time, and a smaller error), here the word being Magoo. (As Kyle said, his dad was not a cryptographer, in the case that he was, Alex still would have been able to use the Fibonacci search sequence, but it would have required more lines of code to check for errors, and potentially another search sequence to help.)

The second algorithm Alex mentions is Shor's algorithm. This algorithm is used to find the prime factors of an integers. We can also apply it to crack public-key cryptographies (which require two keys, a public one that can be known by others, and a private one which is only known by the owner). In this case, Alex would need the decryption key (the public one, which allows to decrypt the crypted message), or at least once again a known word to search through. This algorithm is more complex that the Fibonacci sequence, as it is based on quantum fundamentals, which I haven't yet properly studied (hence why I didn't go as much on a rant as for Fibonacci).

And that's it for season 1 folks! The rest of the "science" is more fiction than reality and as I said at the start, I will not dive into the alien science in the show. For my mental health would not survive it. However, who knows, one day I might try to explain how alien powers work and which laws of physics they follow. But that day is not today.

If I missed anything, or if you feel like anything might be factually incorrect, feel free to send me an ask or a message and I'll correct it. I'll see you again in the second and third parts, until then, don't forget what our queen Liz said: "Who says science isn't exciting?"

Here are part 2 and part 3 if you want to check them out 😊

[im-the-punk-who]

Hi! I’m new to the fandom and I’m simply curious (not trying to start a feud or anything), why don’t you like Steinberg?

Hello dear anon! And welcome to the fandom! 

Oof. That’s a question. xD 

I’m going to try and stay as uh. neutral as possible. Because I’ve already written the post I know I failed but, the intent in answering this is also not to start a feud or hurt anyone’s feelings. 

Okay, so I got fairly negative in this chilis tonight, so I want to start by saying that even in light of the opinions I’m about to express, Black Sails is one of, if not my number one, favorite TV shows of all time. Certainly in recent memory - I’ve been hyperfixating on this show for 18 months with no sign of stopping, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for everyone who worked on the show - even Steinberg. (The one exclusion is Michael Bay, he can go twist.)

AND I think Stienberg is an incredibly talented writer. Black Sails is one of my favorite shows because it does such a wonderful job of weaving stories, creating characters, and melding things in a way that is both unexpected and makes sense narratively. I have changed as a person because of the show, and they will have to pry James McGraw and Thomas Hamilton from my cold dead knives-attached-to-them hands. None of what I’m going to say is meant to detract from that.

I will also say that a lot of these issues are not particular to Steinberg and are in fact a systemic problem with American TV + Film. And I’m not leaving Robert Levine out of my criticism, it’s just that Steinberg had the biggest hand in the pot(he wrote a full half the episodes) and a lot of what I’ve heard as far as talking about the show comes from Steinberg. So, he gets the brunt. But it isn’t that I think Steinberg was the only problematic element of the show. 

Also, these are all my opinions and are colored by how I interact with my fandoms. I am not only a fandom veteran, but I work and pretty much live in the entertainment industry. I work in indie film and theatre and am surrounded by artists and creators of all walks of life, like, constantly. I know what is possible, and when I see something that can be improved, I want to note it because it is important to me to always be striving forward. Like Miranda says about Thomas, this isn’t out of malice, or out of hate. It’s because I genuinely love this show, and I love entertainment as a whole, and I think in order to get to a better, more inclusive industry we have to have hard conversations and look critically at the media we consume, and it is frustrating to me to time and again see the same faces in the room. 

But if that isn’t your cuppa, that’s fine! Fandom isn’t meant to be stressful and if all you want to do is watch a show about gay pirates that is your tomato and I applaud you. Have at it you funky motherfucker.

OH! One more. At some point I’m going to talk about Silverflint. When I do, it is NOT meant as a ‘you shouldn’t/cant ship this’ or ‘this pairing is bad’ or any negative attack on the people who ship that pairing. My criticisms in this post are exclusively about what it means for Steinberg as a writer and Black Sails’ representation of gay and mlm men. While it’s not my cuppa, this is a sail your own ship blog. 

OKAY! SO! 

My main criticisms of Steinberg & Co boil down to:

The homozygosity of the writers and directors shows a complete lack of desire to include marginalized people in the writing of a show that is about them. Which leads to:

The centering of white men while choosing a historical setting and time period that was in fact dominated by people of color and specifically a black woman, 

The gratuitous inclusion of violence against women, particularly sexual violence, and again, that the female characters are often sidelined for the central male characters. 

SO.

Black Sails is a show centered around queer, female, and black leads, and yet there were only two non white-male directors (one bi-racial man and one white woman) and only 7 female writers - one of whom was Latina. The entire rest of the major creative staff was white men. I’m not going to comment on sexualities but none of the writers or directors are out as queer according to a quick google search. 

Let me reiterate the important bit there. 

In Black Sails, where the last two seasons specifically feature around a real, actually-happened-in-history event that shaped black history in the Caribbean, there was not a single black writer on the entire show. 

This is the main difference between inclusion for inclusion’s sake, and actually centering marginalized voices. Black Sails has a ton of gay, POC, and female rep in front of the camera but practically zero representation behind it, which leads to storylines and implications that Steinberg and his writers, as white men, simply would never realize.

It’s like why Silver and Miranda never realized the true reasons James was waging war on England. They just did not have the life experiences to realize they were missing a piece of the puzzle, and so they filled in their own without even realizing they’d done so. 

Because no one in the room of Black Sails was a part of these marginalized identities, nuances get lost or mistranslated, motivations get muddled through a white man’s gaze(or a straight person’s) and implications that someone within those communities might think is obvious won’t even come up.

And again, because there were no writers or directors of color in the last two seasons (the biracial man directed episodes 2x02 and 2x04 - WHICH MAKES SENSE IMO) the entirety of the historical lore that the show bases itself on in its latter half is filtered through a white man’s lens. And so there is no discussion of how changing something changes the meaning, how leaving someone out or changing their role to be more minor might affect people for whom that is their heritage. How the entire story they’re telling might change with one simple exclusion or addition.

So, how does this relate directly to Steinberg, you ask? Well, simply, because it was his show. 

Steinberg(and Levine) were involved in every major decision about the show, from its conception, to the script, to choosing the writers and directors. They chose how they wanted the show to look, to think, what stories to tell and how they wanted to tell them. Their decisions(and the biases that formed those decisions) are woven into the show.

And look. I don’t for a second believe any of this was willful or malicious. I don’t think that John Steinberg and Robert Levine sat down one day and said ‘you know what would make the gays really angry? If we locked the only two canonically gay men up in a prison camp.’

But the decisions that were made in the show were based in ignorance in a way that shows more than just simple negligence or laziness(especially given the attention to detail in everything else). The things they leave out or change in the Maroon War plotline for instance are not small details easily missed. They are big, giant waving flags. They are things that are irreplaceable to still have the same events and stories and tell them respectfully. 

It shows an insane amount of privilege to, for instance, write a show airing during a time when the Black Lives Matter movement was at the forefront of the American conscience, include black characters and black storylines, and yet not include a single black voice on their creative team. 

In a show that centers a gay man’s love and his journey in attempting to process the horrible things done to him and his lover because of it, we are given just forty minutes of the entire show dedicated to their relationship - and just fifteen of those minutes actually feature the lover! 

(Relatedly, the entirety of the gay romantic rep is two kisses, and a forehead touch. That’s the entirety of your gay intimacy representation. And yet there are in the first two seasons alone - because that’s all I’ve clocked so far - something like twenty seven minutes of scenes involving a naked or half naked woman. Five minutes of that is explicitly wlw sex.

Again, I just want to reiterate this because it’s important in recognizing bias. 

There is fully twice as much female nudity in the first two seasons, as the entirety of the time the two gay characters have together on screen. )

Steinberg is a perfect example of how a lack of understanding why the diversity you are representing is important, matters. I dislike Steinberg because he, just like every other straight white cis man I have known, profited off of marginalized voices without including them or creating with them in mind.

Art does not exist in a vacuum. You cannot create something - especially something as back breakingly, intensely a labor of love as Black Sails - without putting several pieces of yourself into it. But those pieces color your narrative. They will expose things about you that you don’t even realize. And it’s in these places we are weakest, and why a diverse group of writers with a diverse group of experiences can help a piece be stronger. But for whatever reason, John Steinberg thought that he could make art with only people who looked and thought and experienced like him. 

The lack of representation behind the camera in Black Sails was evident in front of it and yet Steinberg is out here getting to pretend like he created the most inclusive groundbreaking show that ever existed. It is important to me, personally, to acknowledge that. And that it kind of makes my skin crawl in the way all media made by straight white (cis)men makes my skin crawl. I wish I didn’t have to feel that way about my favorite tv show just because it was created by a man of privilege, but here we are.

SO. I hope that helped? Feel free to take what you want and leave what you don’t! 

Below the cut is a more in depth look at things that I think show what I’m talking about, but that up there ^^ is the gist. <3 |D

SURPRISE!

The Maroons and the Maroon War

So the first thing I want to point out is that the Maroon War was a real thing that happened. It lasted ten years, and resulted in the most substantial victory the Maroons ever achieved against the British. Not only that, there was in fact a KICKIN’ badass female leader of the maroons named Queen Nanny, who is to this day honored as a national hero in Jamaica. While they weren’t able to drive the British out, the outcome of this war led to a mostly self-governing Maroon population in Jamaica from the mid 1700s on. This was a long term fight that had a very tangible and real outcome, even if it didn’t end in the destruction of colonialism. 

And what is this war turned into in Black Sails? A white ‘madman’s revenge’  that is doomed to failure after six months.

That, my dear pirates, is a problem for me. (And those familiar with my brand of spiceyness know that I do not ascribe to the ‘Flint is a Madman’ trope, but that IS what Steinberg ascribes to, what he seems to have written the show thinking.) 

There was no narrative reason to include the Maroon War in the narrative of Black Sails. The Maroon War didn’t happen until a decade after the Golden Age of Piracy, and aside from Silver’s wife being a black woman there is no mention of Silver ever having contact with them. To me, this feels like the choice of a showrunner who found a cool historical event and saw a chance to up the stakes of their white male heroes while getting in some sweet sweet POC rep. 

Except that they then took the major events of the Maroon War and gave them to their white characters, Flint and Silver. 

Here’s the thing. If you’re going to take a piece of culturally important history and use it for your show, you NEED to have sensitivity writers. You need to have people who are at least familiar with those events and who care about them to do them justice. Have an expert come in and read your script or go over your ideas. Or just like. Hire a black writer. Hire ONE black writer. As a treat.

The important Maroon figures, Nanny, Cudjoe, and Quao, all get sidelined or ‘sexified’ and then used as plot points for the white characters. Nanny gets split into two women - the older mother queen and Madi, the young naive warbent visionary. Quao(Mr. Scott is the closest, or Kofi possibly) gets killed off because the writers realized they didn’t exactly have a place for him in their writing. Cudjoe(Julius) gets a few scenes and one good speech but his entire role in the war gets given to Silver. And THEN. That sexy Queen Madi figure gets used as emotional bait for Silver and then has to learn he has betrayed her and destroyed the hope and freedom she had wanted to bring to her people. 

Gross, pirates. Gross.

Anne Bonny/Max/Mary Read - a heads up, this section includes a semi in-depth discussion of both Max and Anne’s sexual assaults. If that bothers you, the paragraphs talking about that begin with a ***

COOL NOW LET’S TALK ABOUT LESBIANS. Words my 20 year old self would never have imagined coming out of my mouth. 

Specifically, I want to talk about Max, and Anne, and their backstories both involving extreme sexual trauma at the hands of men. And then Mary Read and the once again sexification of female characters.

(Actually while I’m here another criticism I have of Steinberg is that his writing does not seem to recognize how queer people existed in the past - again, likely because he didn’t have any gay historians to be like ‘actually buddy that doesn’t make sense also why is Anne not dressing as a man? If you want to fuck with anything and insert modern day terminology and ideas into this show, make her non binary and REALLY piss off the hetties.’)

(This same ficitonal gay dramaturg who is definitely not me has also questioned John Steinberg repeatedly about where Mary Read is, unsatisfied with the answer ‘well we wanted her to be hot so we made her a sex worker and then had Anne have to rescue her but then we realized it would be weird not to include her actual character so we gave her a five second cameo at the very end of the series and also made her like 13.’)

Anyway! So my main point in bringing up Anne and Max is the sexual trauma they are exposed to in the show, particularly being that they are the two primary wlw in the show, who Steinberg has said he views as being completely gay, and what THAT whole unexamined idea looks like. 

***Max. My dear Max. There was literally no reason to have her be repeatedly r*ped(and for the love of god there was even less reason to make it that gratuitous and graphic). Max being assaulted like that did not add anything to the gravity of Eleanor’s betrayal. The traumatic event was being tossed aside by Eleanor, and that could have been just as emotionally damaging without the sexual assault. And the only reason for her to be continually assaulted was to bring her and Anne together. 

***The reason imo that Max’s r*pe plot was added was because it was the only thing these white straight men could come up with that felt emotionally damaging enough to them. The act of betrayal itself wasn’t enough, the act of being thrown away, of having a lover put your life in danger because of her own ambitions wasn’t enough, they needed her to be r*ped to really drive home the point. 

***Anne, on the other hand, is never shown being sexually abused, but we are given an explicit account of her own traumatic history and how Jack saved her from this vile beast who was passing her around to his friends.

But here’s the thing pirates - that never happened. According to every account we have of Anne Bonny, she chose her husband, and married him against her father’s wishes. They were probably relatively happy until her husband started being a pirate spy and Anne started cheating on him with Jack. 

And yes, when they were found out. Her husband had her beat. That’s not fucking cool, and if they really wanted to go the damsel in distress route they still could have had Jack ‘save’ her from that. But at no point was she sexually abused by her husband(at least not in any accounts I’ve read.) 

You know who did likely sexually abuse her or at least manipulate her and Mary for his own benefit? If you guessed our Rat man Jack Rackham, you would be correct, because when he found out about Mary and Anne’s (supposed, but probably real) relationship, it’s implied he extorted both of them into fucking him to keep their secret from the crew. 

The addition of sexual abuse to Anne’s past isn’t done to be true to her character and was in fact explicitly untrue. Now of course I don’t know the reasons why they chose to do this, but I can guess. Just as with Max, the most traumatic thing a male writer can think of for a female character is for them to be sexually abused.

And the most disturbing part of this to me? The parallels it has to the real world of why straight men think lesbians exist. These characters who would be called man haters in present day are given these incredibly traumatic man-centered histories. It brings up something very uncomfortable in me about particularly wlw sexuality being viewed as a reaction to trauma at the hands of men. It’s just gross, I dont like it, and honestly there is no fucking excuse for it besides a room full of white straight men writing this bullshit. A room that Steinberg chose, because they fit his ideas.

In Fact heck, the women of Black Sails in general

***I honestly struggle to think of a single female character who I think was treated fairly in Black Sails. Miranda and Eleanor are killed for taking sides and not understanding their partners, Madi is betrayed in the worst way possible, Max is given a pseudo empowering ending but has that fucking terrible start. Idelle ends off fairly well, but tied to a man she may or may not have any actual feelings for, in what is essentially a political marriage. And Anne has her entire identity tied to a man who will be dead in two years as she is robbed of any agency whatsoever without him. (Oh, and the whole r*pe thing. And also her support for Max’s r*pe or death until she started having fee-fees. Who wrote this stuff. >_>)

Even though the characterization of each and every one of these women is PHENOMENAL - and again I will repeat that I absolutely LOVE these characters as they exist in a vacuum. I think they are well rounded, real, feeling people given motivations and drives and FEELINGS and they SHOW THEIR ANGER and i LOVE THEM. 

But the show punishes them for it. Miranda is essentially fridged to move Flint’s storyline along, and to make room for Silver. Eleanor is killed for the emotional damage it will cause Rogers. Madi is placed at the center of a conflict she explicitly says she is willing to die for and then not only is her entire cause taken from her, but when she tells Silver to fuck off he - in possibly the most predictable white man move ever - says ‘no i will stay until you change your mind. I will never leave you. I don’t care about your choice in this matter, I will wait forever for you. I’m your biggest fan. I’ll follow you until you love me. papa, - paparazzi.’ 

And I touched on this before, but I want to talk in more detail about what is possibly my hottest take to date, the sexification of Mary Read and Queen Nanny, as they are presented in the show. 

Max is to Anne what Mary Read is, historically. She is the lover that Jack Rackham discovers with Anne, and then he joins them in their bed. They form a triumvirate that upholds Jack at the expense of the women. But for some reason, Steinberg didn’t want to just include Mary Read as an actual character. For some reason he needed to make Anne’s love interest a sex worker who was in need of saving (and who, coincidentally, we never see working the brothel after she becomes lovers with Anne, because she is now a madam. :) Gross.)

And Madi. My dear sweet fucking Madi who didn’t fucking deserve any of this bullshit send tweet. 

So, historically, Queen Nanny was the Queen, spiritual advisor, and the military tactician of the Windward Maroons. She would have filled both Madi and the Queen’s character roles(and Flint’s, but who’s counting. A BLACK GAY LEAD? Inconceivable. I digress.) But, I guess, because they were wishy-washing with Silver’s sexuality or felt they needed to give him a female love interest because of Treasure Island, or because they were leaning a bit too hard into the gay shit and needed to backpedal, they took Queen Nanny and split her into a character who is for all intents and purposes powerless in the war and Madi, who is young and naive and does not have any real world experience outside of the Maroon camp.

Because that’s sexy, or something. They could have had the Maroon Queen be a fucking badass lady who works and fights alongside Flint and Silver and one ups them and teaches them shit and has her own ideas about where the British can stick it, but instead they made her into the perfect caricature of a female monarch, letting the big strong men handle the dirty work or something. Because white male power fantasies. 

Just let women be powerful and not nubile and let them have character arcs over fucking thirty and let them be CENTERED in their own. fucking. narratives. 

God damnit Steinberg.

James Flint, mlm extraordinaire

Oh, my love. My most amazing child. The light of my life. My purest cinnamon roll. 

~~And now we’ve come to the dreaded Silverflint criticism part of our programming. Please please know and remember this isn’t a criticism of people who ship Silverflint. As I said up top, Your Tomato Is Not My Tomato and that’s cool. Please don’t take this next part as an attack on Silverflint as a fandom ship.~~

My criticism of Steinberg as it relates to Flint is related to:

What a romantic/sexual relationship with Silver being the basis of the tension and plot means for Flint in particular as a gay or mostly mlm man. 

Refusing to confirm Thomas and James being alive at the end and honestly the whole finale in general but like I’ll try and focus.

The major problem I have with Silver and Flint being coded as in love with each other is the implications there in terms of gay men’s relationships to other men. 

From every corner, men are inundated with the idea that any close relationship between them must be gay. That intimacy cannot exist unless there are sexual feelings involved. That a relationship cannot be close, deep and soul shattering and life altering, unless one guy secretly(or not so secretly) wants to bone the other dude. That two men cannot value each other as partners or friends or truly know each other unless they are gay.

Seeing both of the meaningful relationships Flint forms with other men be sexually coded feels a bit the same way as Anne and Max’s sexual assault plotlines does vis-a-vis being wlw. (Even with Gates, Flint never spoke about Thomas or his plans - Silver is absolutely the closest person to Flint besides Thomas and Miranda.) And this is just as true for Silver. Having both Flint and Madi - the two people he trusts - both be people he’s in love with also just feels. I don’t know. 

It feels like a confusion between male intimacy and male love that is so so familiar to me as a gay man I could choke on it. Where they wanted these men to have a deep and really lasting connection, but could only figure out how to do it if they were in love. Friendship wouldn’t have been enough - only romantic and sexual love is enough for the gay man(or men, at all).

Just because it isn’t queerbaiting doesn’t mean it’s good rep, and I would have liked to see truly deep male friendships that did not center on sexual attraction - particularly for Flint as a confirmed mlm(and Silver too, if you’re counting him. The same arguments for why I dislike Flint being paired with Silver are also true in the reverse.) 

Even if both Flint and Silver were confirmed mlm I still would have LOVED to see a platonic relationship between them. In fact I would have loved that EVEN MORE. Men! Who fuck men! Not needing to fuck each other to be important to one another! Who made this. Very delicious. 

But because there weren’t any queer writers on the show, writers who understand this kind of struggle that gay and mlm men face, they thought ‘oh, let’s also have them be in love with each other. More gay rep is better gay rep, right?’ False. THOUGHTFUL gay rep is better gay rep.

Okay and here’s my last thing. The fact that Steinberg refuses to say whether or not the explicitly mlm men are alive at the end of the show - that the words he specifically uses are ‘up for interpretation’ is. Fuck, it’s gross, okay? It’s fucking gross. 

I have been around enough men, enough people in power, enough people with leverage who also know how to play the field, to know that when someone wants a group’s support but does not agree with them, their go to phrasing is that it is ‘up for debate’ or ‘up for interpretation.’

Say the gays are alive. Steinberg refusing to acknowledge the reality of the ending of his show to maintain his own sense of artistic integrity is what, honestly, really sets me off about him and I don’t care if this is a nuanced take.

Like yes, death of the author. I honestly don’t care if he thinks they’re dead or alive. What I care about is that he thinks he can get away with being clever and leaning hard into a story is true/untrue’ - doesn’t realize what the implications of that are, and didn’t when he was writing, and didn’t have anyone else in the room who would think about it either. 

ANYWAY. So this is....my long drawn out explanation for why I do not like Steinberg. Uhhhhh tune in next week for more of my totally unpopular opinions!

[calligraphist-artemisia]

Scattered Blue (Part 1)

Written for the Kidge Spring Event!

Prompt 3: Forget-me-nots | True Love, Memories, Remembrance 

Summary: Alternate Universe. From the moment the first blue petal passed her lips, Pidge knew what was happening to her.

Also posted on AO3 under the username Kishirokitsune

❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀

Part One: Pidge

The small blue petal haunted her from the time she woke up to the time she laid her head down to go back to sleep. There was a part of her that desperately wanted to ignore it and what it meant, hoping it would go away if she just wished hard enough for it.

But as with all things in life, wishing did nothing without her also taking action.

Pidge covered her mouth as she coughed hard, feeling something slide up through her throat until it splattered out into her hand. She caught a glimpse of blue as she shoved that hand into her pocket to hide the evidence.

“Is everything okay?” Hunk asked in concern. He and Lance sat across from her at the cafe table they'd snagged for their weekly lunch.

“Everything's great!” she lied with a smile. “How was your flight, Lance? You transported some heavy cargo to the east coast base, right?”

Lance shrugged. “It was just a normal, boring flight. No issues.”

“Which is a good thing,” Hunk said, his tone long-suffering.

Lance agreed with a grumble that spoke strongly of his true feelings. He'd always dreamed of being more than a “simple” cargo pilot, no matter how often Pidge and Hunk tried to remind him that he was the backbone of the Garrison and served a pivotal role in keeping everything running smoothly.

“What about you?” Hunk asked Pidge. “You and Keith have been testing the new jets. That must be fun.”

Pidge's heart fluttered at the mention of Keith's name and she swallowed to try and stop the cough that threatened to overtake her. “Um, y-yeah. Yeah, it's been a ton of fun.”

Hunk and Lance exchanged alarmed looks at her unusually lackluster response and Pidge wanted to swear, but instead, she reached for her water and took several swallows until her throat was clear.

“Keith giving you problems? I could kick his butt for you,” Lance volunteered.

“We're fine, so please don't get yourself suspended trying to fight him,” Pidge said with a roll of her eyes. She set down her drink. “Our test flight went great! We're just waiting for the technical report to come back before we can go up again and there were a few minor tweaks the ground crew wanted to make to improve how responsive the controls are. Shiro's been coaching us through new drills while we wait.”

“Ugh, you're so lucky. You get Shiro as a mentor and you get to test fly the new jets. Can we trade lives for one day?” Lance asked.

“That means you'd have to work with Keith,” Pidge reminded him.

“Good point. I'd much rather trade with Keith and have you as my partner,” Lance said, sitting back in his chair as the waitress arrived with their meals.

Pidge rolled her eyes as he went about his usual routine of flirting with their waitress. She briefly considered apologizing on his behalf but figured it would only encourage him to keep going. At least he wasn't making a complete fool of himself and thus, by extension, of her and Hunk as well.

They didn't do much talking as they enjoyed their food and it was only as they got down to the last few bites and were contemplating dessert that Pidge asked Hunk how he was doing in the engineering department. His eyes lit up as he began describing their experiments with a new lightspeed engine that they hoped would be capable of drastically reducing the amount of time it took to get to the farthest planets in their solar system.

“Pretty soon you and Keith will be preparing to fly one of these! Well, uh, if everything goes the way we hope,” Hunk said, rapidly backpedaling in an attempt to curb his own enthusiasm.

“That sounds incredible, Hunk! You'll have to keep me updated,” Pidge said.

Hunk grinned back at her. “I will.”

In the end, they decided against ordering dessert at the cafe and instead walked a few blocks down to Lance's favorite gelato place where they each got a scoop in a little paper cup so they could walk and eat at the same time.

Every now and then, Pidge had to turn away and cough, though thankfully she didn't end up with any fresh petals. For the rest of the night, she didn't find a single speck of blue when she pulled her hand away and she went to bed with a smile on her face and no worry lingering in her mind.

She danced around her room with a spring in her step when morning came, taking a little extra time on her hair and putting a little bit of color on her eyelids, which she normally saved for special occasions. By some miracle, she didn't drip any of her breakfast onto her uniform and was able to leave the house soon after by catching a ride with her brother, who was also on his way to the Galaxy Garrison.

They split up after he parked in the Garrison's garage, with Matt heading over to the labs where they were analyzing new plugs taken from Saturn's moon, Enceladus, while Pidge went to the gym to meet up with her flight partner and get started on their training for the day.

Keith was already there warming up when she arrived. His black hair was tied back out of his face and he had swapped out of the heavy uniform in favor of a pair of gray shorts and a black tank top.

Pidge caught his attention with a wave before gesturing towards the locker room, silently indicating that she was going to get changed and would be out soon. Once she was dressed in her own gray shorts and Garrison-provided orange shirt she jogged out to Keith, dodging around the others who were taking advantage of the open gym.

“Hey, did you get the itinerary Shiro sent?” Keith asked the moment she was close enough to be heard.

Pidge had to take a moment to think about it. She's woken up to two messages from Shiro that morning – one was a note regarding a slight change in their schedule and the other was a list of what they'd be covering that week. She assumed he was talking about the week-long one. “I glanced it over. It looks like it's mostly what we do every week.”

“Yeah, except for Friday. Do you think I can convince Shiro to give me a pass to skip out on the annual health screening after what they pulled last year?” Keith asked.

“Doubt it, though I bet he'd go with you if you're really worried about it,” Pidge said as dread began to creep in her chest.

At their last screening, the nurse helping Keith found something “odd” in his blood and ordered him into quarantine for two weeks while they tried to puzzle it out. The Garrison medical team ran test after test, asking Keith all kinds of invasive questions, until Shiro, with the help of Commander Iverson, put an end to it all. Keith was let go, but he then had to suffer through several months of resurgent rumors about his parentage and whether or not his abilities were because he wasn't fully human.

Keith was anti-social and a little awkward, which when coupled with his innate sense of how to pilot and the fact that he out-flew even seasoned pilots on the simulator on his first try, led to a number of rumors that one of his parents weren't human or even that Keith himself was born somewhere far beyond their solar system. It was all nonsense, of course.

Pidge had her own reasons for being worried about the screening. She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that they would find out about her affliction.

Hanahaki.

Just putting a name to it made it feel all the more real and terrifying.

“Hey,” Keith said, nudging her gently. “It'll be alright. I'm really not worried about anything happening again this year. They wouldn't dare.”

Pidge did her best to smile and try to reassure him that she'd also be there to stop them if they tried anything, but the weight of what was happening to her dragged her down, threatening to drown her if she didn't wrestle back control of her emotions. Her breath stuttered in her chest, a cough building even as she cleared her throat to try and chase it off. Her eyes watered.

“Pidge?” Keith's tone turned concerned and he placed one hand on her back to keep her steady.

She couldn't hold it back any longer.

Once her coughing started, it was nearly impossible to stop as something thick and slightly scratched traveled up through her throat, threatening to block her breathing, until it finally began to slide out. Pidge gagged and coughed even harder, forcing a long stem and the accompanying blooms out of her mouth and into her hands.

All she could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat. Dark spots danced across her vision and she swayed, nominally aware of Keith holding her up. Pidge closed her eyes.

❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀

She woke in the medical wing.

Or at least, she thought that was where she was at first glance, but closer inspection of the wall next to her and the lack of orange décor told her that she was most likely at the Plaht City Memorial Hospital. Pidge stared at the wall for a moment and then slowly, stiffly turned her head to look around the room, which was when she realized Keith was sitting at her bedside and staring at her with a worried expression on his face.

“Wh... what happened?” Pidge groggily asked.

“You passed out,” Keith told her. “Pidge, why didn't you say anything sooner?”

She looked away from him. “Didn't want to. S'fine, Keith. I can handle it.”

“You can handle it? Pidge, this isn't going to go away on its own!” Keith's voice raised to a near shout. He blanched and ran a hand through his hair, clearly struggling to calm down. “You... Will you at least tell me who it is? I could go get them and... and then everything would be fine, right? Unless... you've already told them?”

Pidge swallowed thickly and glanced to the bedside table, hoping to see a glass of water there, but there was nothing. “It doesn't matter.”

“Of course it matters!”

“They don't feel the same way,” Pidge said, refusing to meet his eyes. “I don't need to ask them in order to know that.”

Keith growled in frustration and stood up. “I don't buy that for a second! Who wouldn't like you?”

“Keith...”

“Just tell me who it is and I'll go talk to them,” he said fiercely. “Or I'll bring them here, whichever works best for you. Please, Pidge, I just want to help. You're my best friend.”

Her chest clenched painfully at those words and Pidge wondered for a moment if she were about to be launched into another coughing fit, but after a moment or two, the pain subsided to mere discomfort, which allowed her to speak again.

Not that she really wanted to speak, since that meant revealing the truth: she was in love with him.

That was the cause of the Hanahaki Disease. Flowers would take root in the lungs, growing until there was no place left for them to go. The body naturally tried to rid itself of the invasion by coughing them up but there was only so long that could keep the disease at bay before it became too much for the body to handle. Sometimes, the person afflicted could “cure” themselves by falling out of love before the disease progressed too far. Otherwise, there were three ways it could end: in the death of the infected, by surgical removal, or by having their love reciprocated.

The last of those was the best-case scenario – the one that was often used in the plots of movies or cheesy romance novels. Having one's love returned would effectively shrink the flowers until they were gone completely.

Surgery was a more recent option, though one that some still chose to reject even if it meant their death. Choosing to surgically remove the flowers meant also removing any feelings they had for that person and often resulted in the complete loss of memory of them as well. No one could pinpoint why it was like that and all attempts to improve on the surgery fell flat.

Those were the options sitting before Pidge.

She didn't want to die. That much was for certain. There was still so much she wanted to see and do in the world, and though it broke her heart to think of needing to do it all without Keith, her partner, steadfast by her side, she wasn't going to give it all up. Besides, there was still the chance that she wouldn't forget about him. She was too stubborn for that. And if she could remember, maybe they could rebuild their friendship as well.

But what if she didn't remember?

Pidge slowly met his eyes.

He was her best friend too; the first person her own age that she'd ever truly gotten along with and felt comfortable around. Life without him wouldn't be nearly as vibrant. She couldn't lose him.

“Don't leave me,” she begged, her chest constricting as she forced the words out. She tried to sit up, her arms trembling from the effort, but gave up as Keith moved to help her. She shook her head and blinked back tears as she caught a whiff of his cologne, which usually inspired warm and fuzzy feelings, but instead dredged up an intense need to cough.

She swallowed, trying to force it away. She needed to talk first.

“Of course I'm not going to leave,” Keith tried to reassure her.

Pidge shook her head. “If... If I forget you, please don't leave me.”

Keith made a confused sound. “Why would you forget...?”

She could hear the exact moment he put the pieces together. The way his voice cracked was a dead giveaway just before his expression crumbled in distress. She reached out and grasped his hand. “It's okay, Keith. I know.”

He sucked in a shuddering breath. “It's not okay! Pidge, I-”

“You're not allowed to blame yourself,” she cut in. “This isn't your fault. You can't help who you like. Or who you don't like.”

While it wasn't something they'd exclusively talked about, she'd gotten the gist from past conversations that he wasn't someone interested in any kind of romance. He preferred focusing on his career and studies, which was something they'd always had in common right up until she went and fell for him.

She had to look away from him for a moment. “It's just... you're my best friend too and I don't want to forget that, but if I do then I need you to be there and make sure we stick together. I know that's a lot to ask.”

“No, it isn't,” Keith heatedly denied. “Of course I'll stay with you.”

Though Pidge mostly felt relieved by his agreeing to stay with her, there was still that sliver of worry that things could go wrong for them. But what choice did they really have?

She was saved from needing to talk about it more by the arrival of Shiro and her family, who crowded around her bed to ask if she was alright and if there was anything they could do to help. Matt seemed particularly stricken that he hadn't noticed anything wrong when he spent the most time with her, though her mom was a close second.

Once he was sure Pidge would be okay, her dad took charge of the situation and arranged for her surgery to take place that evening by calling on a few favors and using his influence as a Commander at the Galaxy Garrison. It took a little more convincing on Pidge's part, as well as some hefty backup from Shiro, to make an allowance for Keith to stay with her outside of surgery. It all happened so fast that she didn't have time to think about everything else she wanted to say to Keith, just in case she wouldn't get the chance later.

Her family stayed until the last few minutes until Shiro was able to direct them out into the waiting room so she and Keith could have one last moment alone.

And it was in those last few minutes that genuine fear struck Pidge.

She didn't want to forget him.

She didn't want to lose his friendship.

Heavy tears flooded her eyes, dripping down her cheeks without her fully realizing it. She choked back a sob as she looked at Keith. “I-I-...”

She couldn't get the words out.

Keith didn't need her to say anything. He got up so he could sit on the edge of her bed instead, cradling her against him and offering physical comfort. He refused to budge as the anesthesiologist entered and began prepping her arm for the IV which would administer the anesthetic directly into her bloodstream.

“Count backward from one-hundred, dear.”

Pidge tried, but she was still too choked up to speak and had to settle for mouthing it instead. Rather quickly, Keith's soft reassurances faded and she dropped off to sleep.

❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀

There was an annoying beeping sound that cut through her dreams, dragging Pidge back into the realm of consciousness. It was a strange, rhythmic sound – wholly different from the obnoxious screeching of her alarm clock. She groaned as she opened her eyes and had to squint against the sudden, harsh light that reflected off of crisp white sheets and plain white walls. The only spot of color near her was a single stem of purplish flowers that was placed in a water glass on the bedside table.

“Pidge?” an unfamiliar voice called her name, relief present in their tone.

Her head felt heavy as she turned it to face whoever was speaking to her. She figured it was a nurse or something – she had to be in a hospital of some kind – but instead, she found a young man with dark hair sitting in a chair at her bedside.

“You're awake!” he said, a smile blossoming across his face. “How do you feel?”

“M'okay,” she said thickly. She stared at him for a moment and watched as his smile faded. “Sorry, but who are you?”

He reeled back as though he'd been slapped, his expression dropping into something close to pure anguish. “I...” He paused and took a deep breath. “I'm Keith.”

[somestansomewhere]

Frank’s Dementia in 11a

Points to discuss:

Moments where Frank forgot.

Things he might be able to remember.

Other characters finding out.

Aftermath...

So to start of, I made a list of every instance in SEASON ELEVEN A, where Frank’s memory seemed a bit off, I’m not gonna analyze the whole series for this but I’m sure there’s more there. Now:

Moments Where Frank Forgot

11x01

1. Frank’s History of Chicago

While this does appear to imply just the opening monologue, there are actually several moments throughout the episode where Frank is talking about the Gallagher’s running Chicago to Alan. And while this seems like typical “Frank being drunk nonsense”, plus a spectacular opening to the season... I now see it in a different light especially after:

2. Frank’s Memory Elixir

Frank LITERALLY has a line asking for “memory elixir”, meaning booze, which Alan hands him. Ironic since he has ALCOHOLIC DEMENTIA. You can’t tell me that wasn’t intentional!

3. He Forgot Bars Were Closed

Now, I may be reaching here... BUT when Frank enters The Alibi for the first time this season (what a grand enterence btw) he says “I heard somewhere all bars were open again”. V responds by saying something along the lines of “three weeks ago maybe” and that the mayor shut them down again. Frank says “Well who the hell can keep track”. And okay, yeah maybe Frank genuinely didn’t know... but this is the bar he goes to EVERYDAY. Not to mention if they shut down less than THREE WEEKS AGO, Frank should know... idk this one might not count but I added it anyway. Kermit is unaware of bars being open/shut down in 11x03 so moving on:

11x02

4. The Alibi’s Secret Enterence

Okay, again REACHING! However, when Frank entered The Alibi through the Keg Zone door he forgot to use the “secret knock” and Kev had to remind him about it. Now in 11x01 he used the front door (and I’m not sure he knew to use the other door in that ep) but still at least he remembered to use the correct door in 11x02.

11x03

This is where it got noticeable.. strap in, here we go:

5. Taking Franny to School

He took her to the wrong school. This is the same person that knows the Southside perhaps better than his kids (lol), like the back of his hand! He not only took her to the wrong school but a middle/grade school. Franny is in elementary/preschool school. You can see in WHM’s face here that Frank was confused...

6. Uncle V and Aunt Kev

Maybe just a comedic slip up, but Frank calls Kev and V “Uncle V and Aunt Kev” as opposed to what they really are. Maybe he forgot? I’m reaching LOL.

7. Debbie Is Not Fiona

Frank talks about one of his favorite MEMORIES with Franny’s mom: Debbie, but “oh no, maybe that was Fiona”. Small moment, typical Frank but... nonetheless, poor memory. The writers are smart by mentioning Fiona in this scene... it’s “a Fiona mention”, we’re going to remember this, and that’s probably why they did it.

8. The Paper Store

Yeah, this was the first red flag for me and if I can recall, the moment EVERYONE knew something seemed off. Frank, walks out of the paper store with Franny and cannot remember where he is, or where they are headed. Once he is reminded of their “goals” for the day (by Franny, a five year old) he proceeds to head to the paper store... Franny once again let’s him know that they already went there and Frank notices the paper already in his (Franny’s) backpack. Ouch.

11x04

9. The Nation of Islam

Ooo this one hurt! After Frank suggests to visit The Nation of Islam in an attempt to get their help to get rid of the Milkoviches, him, Kev, and Liam do. We SEE them go there. It’s a whole scene, so later in the episode when Frank suggests to go ask them for help AGAIN as if it were a completely new idea, we as an audience know they already did that. As Kevin says they “JUST did that”. Frank forgot. Shit.

11x05

10. Mrs.McCurdy

Frank discusses with Kev about murdering Mrs.McCurdy, later he tries to murder her. We see it, we remember it becaue she grabbed Frank’s dick. It was funny, the scene evoked laughter, it forces the audience to remember it. Frank mindlessly walks into The Alibi and Kev asks Frank if he “did the thing”. Now at first Frank is confused. They were using “quotation talk” earlier so yeah I get it, but then when Kevin is more direct with Frank, Frank thinks Kev is implying that he had sex with Mrs.McCurdy... Frank is clearly confused. Only then does Kev point out that he meant MURDER. Frank takes a second, again if you watch he does not know what Kev is talking about, but then it hits him, and he remembers. Thus continuing the convo like nothing.

11x06

11. Monica

Now this one REALLY hurt. Frank’s first scene of the episode is a sex scene between him and Letty. She’s blonde, and Frank calls her Monica. He truly believes he is sleeping with Monica, only Monica is dead, she been since season seven. When Letty mentions that she isn’t Monica (thinking Frank calling her that was only a sex thing), we see WHM’s brilliant preformence once again. Frank doesn’t know what Letty means, he thinks she’s Monica. Then when he realizes she isn’t, he gets this lost dejected look on his face. He’s confused and knows that he keeps getting confused.

Frank says “I gotta get to work”. Letty asks him where he works and Frank is left bewildered.

12. Seven

Okay so remember Frank and Franny’s adventure in 11x03? Frank visits a dry cleaners to get some weed. They make a point of Franny saying that Frank will pay SEVEN for the weed. No offer is made and Frank must get it somewhere else. Throughout the episode Frank refterences SEVEN to Kev & V as the asking price to sell. We as an audience are forced to remember SEVEN. Also in 11x03, as Debbie frantically looks for Frank/Franny, she visits the dry cleaners where they were (retracing their steps). We as an audience have been there twice.

Now, in 11x06 Frank goes to pick up an order but like, we already saw him go there episodes ago. When the woman behind the counter literally tells him she has nothing for him and he argues with her, WE KNOW she is right. Once again, Frank forgot. I’m so sad. Not only that but Kev and V don’t have Frank going on runs anymore. Ian & Mickey are doing it... Frank is legit lost and forgot that he’s not doing that anymore, Kev tells him he’s not in 11x04.

Ms.G even says to Frank that she doesn’t need to write anything down to remember it because the “Mind’s a steel trap”. She doesn’t owe him... she can use her mind to remember where Frank cannot. The irony.

13. Pedestrian, Blue, Handlebar (abc)

a) Frank getting hit in the head results in him having a visit to the hospital where a nurse discovers that Frank has no clue how he got there and more specifically, how he got hit in the first place.

b) The saddest part, when asked his name he remembers FRANK. But has to look down at her sheet to know his last name is GALLAGHER. This is the man who walks around saying “It’s up to Frank Gallagher to save the neighborhood”. He forgot his last name.

c) The scene goes on, the nurse asks him to remember three words: pedestrian, blue, and handlebar. They discuss other things, then she asks him to tell her those words. It’s so abundantly clear that Frank just cannot. He doesn’t remember. He was told like 30sec ago and gets, for the first time ASHAMED. He’s the most shameless person ever (hence the title of the show) but now the tides have turned. He “doesn’t wanna play this game anymore”. Frank can recognize AGAIN that he is confused, only now he is forced to face it. The nurse noticed, she runs some tests and Frank learns that he has early stages of alcoholic dementia. This isn’t his liver, he can’t get a new one, this is his brain.

14. + 15. Letty & Terry

Just two bonuses, Frank wanders aimlessly into the Alibi again (like in 11x05) because it’s routine for him. Letty calls him over. Frank forgot they were supposed to meet there. :(

Frank and Terry on the porch: Maybe it’s just bad writing or they were trying to make a point but like a “Gallagher-Milkovich War” never happened??? We watched the show for 11 seasons... Also are the Milkoviches actually from Poland Frank? I’ll excuse that one cuz Ian mentioned it too, but I thought they wer Ukrainian. These seem like writing mistakes tho so oops.

Things He Might Be Able To Remember

Frank has his and Franny’s name tattooed on his body... he literally forgot his last name at the hospital. And if he forgets a bunch in 11b then that’ll be the payoff for the tattoo... he might not know why the tattoo is there or who the people are listed on his arm, or even what it means exactly, but he will know that Frank loves Franny.

Where he lives. Frank never threw out the paper with his diagnosis. He might remember his home, however the conflict comes in the fact that the Gallaghers might be selling it. He needs to be around people/places that are familiar to him. This could jeopardize his memory.

The Alibi is where Frank seems to just walk to or go to whenever he has no clue where he is or going but it’s subtle. I could see him getting lost and no one knowing where he is and Frank just being at the Alibi beacuse idk muscle memory? He’s on autopilot.

Early stages of ALCOHOLIC Dementia can improve. Like if maybe Frank were to tell someone and if he wasn’t removed from the Gallagher house, and oh I don’t know if Frank STOPPED DRINKING, he could remember. But I don’t think we’re heading in that direction, especially if the house is sold, and let’s face it... it looks that way.

Fiona? Will he forget her... this all feels reminiscent of 4x11.

Other Characters Finding Out

Franny, Kevin, and Liam, are the only people who have REALLY been subject to the possibility of noticing... but think about it. Franny is too young to notice anything, Kevin is not the brightest bulb, he doesn’t seem to realize it either, and Liam was exposed to it once, but at that time he was so scared about the Milkoviches that he didn’t notice it. Maybe if he saw it again, he would. Liam is smart enough.

I wonder if the Gallaghers will just find out the hard way (,like those stills from 11x08 are making me think,) or if anyone will begin to seriously pick up on it. I intially thought they would show Frank forgetting in front of each character until someone was able to notice but scratch that. They seem to be setting Lip up on the “alcoholic path” this season, (and I may go more into depth about that one another time, it’s another big post if I do get into it). But what will the Gallagher’s reactions/feelings be towards Frank’s diagnosis? Mickey and Ian had many Terry/Frank discussions in 11x06 literally setting up for it. It hurt when they all kept dismissing Frank because yup, they don’t know yet. They would have to help him in order to keep his memory maintained, but that’s the thing... Frank’s pride. He might deny their help even if they actually were to give it to him... Either way, I’m “looking forward” to see how this all unravels and how everyone finds out and what their reactions will be, which brings me to my final topic:

Aftermath...

So what happens? Will they sell the house, potentially causing Frank to forget? Will he not know his kids, his history? Will he die? Will Frank finally stop drinking... yeah I doubt that... So what WILL happen? Will the Gallaghers be left to take care of Frank? Will they even do that? Will he remember them?

What if in 1x01 Frank’s narration IS his memory? We see him talking about his kids to someone? It circles back? I don’t know, but either way I expect this whole thing to pull on our heartstrings. When the rest of the regulars find out... it’s gonna get real, and rough.

Interesting stuff coming up in 11b I’m sure. Let’s see how this plays out for our Protagonist and Patriarch: Frank Gallagher.

Omg, if you read through this, you are so cool and I really really appreciate you! Please send me an ask or write a note, I would love to get your take on the matter. 💙

Hope you enjoyed this analysis and I hope it didn’t go on too long.

[rjhpandapaws]

Swing for the Fences

Based of this post by @ygreczed-3

Ch 1: Rookie Welcoming Committee

It was the first day of the official pre-season training, which meant the team would finally be meeting their rookie pitcher. Hank was looking forward to putting him through his paces today. See if he was as big of a deal as  everyone was making him out to be. To have made the big leagues at just twenty-two wasn’t as big of a deal as it used to be; but the kid had they eyes of every scout on him since he was in high school.  He had held off from committing to a team until he had graduated and gotten a back up degree. The buzz in the locker room was positive over all. Ambidextrous pitchers weren’t all that common as it was, and at that this kid had a bit of a record. They had lost their primary pitcher in the middle of the previous season to a shoulder injury that had lead to his early retirement. The only person who seemed to be annoyed about the rookie was their secondary pitcher, Gavin Reed. “He should have to take a season to see how these things actually work.” He grumbled from his place beside Hank as they made their way out to the field to meet him, “This isn’t high school base ball. He will be way out of his depth before the end of the first game.”

“His numbers are better than yours Reed.” Hank replied dryly, he really wasn’t in the mood for this, “If you can improve your stats before the season starts, they might make you primary.” Gavin flipped him off, but made no effort to argue. When they got out to the field their manager Jeff was waiting for them with the rookie. Hank had known he was young, but he hadn’t been expecting him to look the part. He wasn’t a small guy, Hank only had a couple inches on him; it was all in his face. It was a mix of the softness that came with youth and the sharp edges of growing up. His eyes were a deep brown and they had a distinct gentleness to them. His hair was an undercut with the longer top swept back save for an errant curl that fell over his forehead. Hank hadn’t realized he was staring until he got a sharp elbow to the ribs from Gavin. he scrambled to pull himself together and was vaguely aware of Jefferey rolling his eyes. It was time to make introductions, then have him meet the rest of the team. After that practice would start and they would get to see what this kid was made of.

“Hank, Gavin, this is Connor our new pitcher.” Jeff started, “Connor, this is Hank, our relief hitter and team captain; and this is Gavin, our secondary pitcher.” Connor gave each of them a nod as they were introduced, “It’s nice to meet you both.” “Welcome to the team kid.” Hank replied. “Yeah, welcome and all that,” Gavin muttered. “Right.” Jeff continued, “ You two know the drill, lockers and then practice.” With that as their dismissal they made their way back to the locker room. Gavin walked a few paces behind them still bristling over his new position. Excitement was still radiating off of Connor despite that. “How does it feel to be a Tiger now kid?” Hank asked to make the silence a little less awkward. “Pretty great.” He said matter-of-factly which didn’t quite match his shit eating grin, “I’m still settling into the fact that this is real honestly. Given the stats of going  pro I didn’t think I would be one of the lucky ones.” He chuckled at that, “Yeah. It’ll be like that for a while. I’m sure you’ll get adjusted just as soon as the press buzz wears itself out.”

The locker room passed in a haze of congratulations and introductions. Connor managed to slip away from the crowd to change at some point and Hank didn’t see him again until the team met up on the field. They were going over the plan for practice; warm ups and then a mock up of a game. It didn’t take long to learn that Connor’s pitching stats weren’t for show. The kid could pepper any pitch he threw. He couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn when it came time to bat though. His stance and grip were perfect for someone of his build. His swings were neat as well, he just couldn’t make contact to save his soul. He was a perfect example of why relief hitters existed. Hank had even opted to switch out pitchers in the event that Gavin was the problem. He wasn’t. For what it was worth, It was obvious that Connor was making a genuine effort, he just couldn’t land a hit. By the end of practice Connor was pretty frustrated with himself and Gavin was smug enough that Hank worried there might be a fight. Not the best first day if he was honest, but that was the whole point of practice. He would have Connor landing hits by the end of the season. For now the kid needed a morale boost.

He didn’t catch up to Connor until the kid was leaving the locker room. He looked a little more composed now, but his frame was still pretty tense. Hank was reluctant to bring up practice again since that was what was bothering him; but he didn’t know anything about Connor. It was his only option. “So where did you learn to pitch like that?” He asked, staying on a topic he hoped was safe, “Not many people have that much ball control.” “I find it’s all in the fingering.” Connor replied dryly and Hank choked. When he turned to look at Connor the kid had the nerve to wink, “All jokes aside; grip control and a bit of math. I have a photographic memory and a love of physics.” Hank was genuinely impressed, “So you do math on the fly? I didn’t realize pitching took that much thought.” “If you want to be accurate more than just lucky it does.” He replied, “Most pitchers rely on strength and batting patterns they are familiar with. I don’t have that luxury, so I use numbers instead. “Huh. Wanna tell me more about it over drinks sometime?” It wasn’t the smoothest he had ever been, but the laugh it got him from Connor was worth it. “Sure Hank.” Came the amused reply.

They exchanged numbers after that and then Connor was on his way. He had said something about meeting up with his brothers. Hank hadn’t been paying much attention. He was still stuck on the fact his half joking attempt at a pick up had worked. This was looking to be a good season, or an interesting one at the very least.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

(Accidental 150 Follower Special) IOTA’s Top 10 Worst Episodes of Miraculous Ladybug (Part 2)

Here’s Part 1

#5: Glaciator

Here's a good lesson to teach these incredibly impressionable children watching: If you're not in a romantic relationship by the time you're a teenager, you're a loser! And if someone says they just want to be friends, ignore that obvious hint that they're not into you and keep trying to impress them.

Marinette joins her friends to get some ice cream sold by the worst ice cream vendor in the world, Andre. Like, they have to find out where he's going to set up through a series of clues, they don't get a choice to order the flavors they like (and that's not even taking allergies into consideration), and he only gives a single cone to a couple to share while going on and on about how he knows about who someone really loves, and oh my God, why is this man still in business?

Surprisingly, as dumb as it is for Andre to get akumatized over a single customer doubting his magic ice cream, he's not the reason this episode is on the list. That honor goes to Cat Noir.

At the beginning of the episode, Cat Noir drops the pretenses and asks Ladybug out on a date.

Cat Noir: What would you say if you and I met up tonight for a little dinner? Rooftop style?

Ladybug: For dinner? As superheroes?

Cat Noir: Well, yeah. That's right. We're only together when we're saving Paris. I mean, wouldn't you actually like to get to know one another?

Ladybug: I... That's so thoughtful of you, but I can't. I already have plans with some friends.

Cat Noir: Well, if your plans end early, come and join me.

Ladybug: We'll see.

Cat Noir: I'll be waiting, my lady.

Notice that Ladybug doesn't say that she's coming, and mentions that she already has plans. Even the irresponsible Plagg points this out.

Plagg:You seem in a hurry to get stood up.

Adrien: She didn't say she wasn't coming.

Plagg: But she didn't say she was either!

So when Ladybug obviously doesn't come, Cat Noir just decides to mope around, acting like he was left at the altar, and when they meet up to take on the titular Glaciator, Cat Noir gets all pissy that Ladybug didn't come.

Ladybug: Hello, Kitty. Did the bad guys leave you cold?

Cat Noir: (sounding like his staff got shoved up his ass) How was your amazing evening with your “friends”?

Again, Ladybug never said she was going to meet up with Cat Noir that night, because she had plans. Even later episodes like “Stormy Weather 2” claim that Ladybug stood up Cat Noir, when she DIDN'T! There was never anything set in stone, so Cat Noir can't say that Ladybug stood him up.

Even after the fight, when Ladybug tells Cat Noir that she only sees him as a friend, afterwards, Adrien still thinks he has a shot with her.

Adrien: Perhaps Ladybug will love me someday. I mean, like, I love her. I have to believe. In the meantime, her friendship is the best gift of all.

Dude. Take. A. Goddamn. Hint.

As ironic as the circumstances are, Ladybug just said she isn't into Adrien, and he's still going to go after her. And spoiler alert, his attempts to woo her are only going to get worse from here.

Yeah, this episode is heavy on the romance, and the idealized vision of what the writers think being in a relationship is like. Admittedly, I have a more jaded view of romantic plotlines, as the only real relationship I had ended right before my senior year of high school, and it gave me serious trust issues as a result because of how badly it ended, so I don't want to consider myself an expert in relationships.

But at the same time, that breakup helped me learn to not prioritize being in a relationship, and just focus on self-improvement. If that was the lesson the episode was going for, I'd get it, but we never get anyone say that. All everyone in this episode talks about is how awesome being in love with someone is.

The fact that the audience is supposed to find Cat Noir's behavior charming is disgusting, and I can't believe that Astruc condones this kind of writing.

In addition to continuing the trend of making Cat Noir oblivious to the word “no”, This episode also managed to do the impossible and make me hate ice cream with a fiery passion.

#4: Copycat

This show is really bad with writing episodes about evil doppelgangers, and like with “Antibug”, it's about Ladybug getting blamed for something she had nothing to do with.

A statue of Ladybug and Cat Noir is being unveiled, but because Marinette is preoccupied with trying to make sure Adrien doesn't receive an embarrassing voicemail she accidentally sent him, she isn't able to attend the unveiling ceremony as Ladybug. So when the sculptor mentions he has feelings for Ladybug, Cat Noir says this:

Cat Noir: Hey, don't mean to burst your bubble, but you know, Ladybug and me, we're a thing, you know?

The Sculptor: Really?

Cat Noir: Yeah, we're like this (crosses his fingers to show how close they are).

This exchange is never mentioned in the episode ever again, despite being what gets the sculptor akumatized.

Copycat, the akumatized form of the sculptor, is a reused character model copy of Cat Noir, and so like every impostor storyline in every TV show ever made, the public immediately turns on Cat Noir when Copycat frames him to the point where the police try to arrest him.

In case you couldn't tell, once again, Cat Noir is a big part of why this episode is so awful. If his entitlement issues were actually brought to light and he learns to not act like he and Ladybug are meant to be, it would have worked. Instead, it's Ladybug who is blamed for Copycat happening. Seriously, Cat Noir gives Ladybug heat for not being at the statue unveiling, like it was her fault the sculptor was akumatized.

Even later on, when Ladybug has trouble telling the difference between the two cats, Cat Noir has the gall to say “Have I ever lied to you, Bugaboo?”

HEY! Shat Noir! Lying is the reason you're Public Enemy #1 right now! You have no right to act like Ladybug deserves your trust, especially after you lied about your relationship with her!

This episode was also a little... uncomfortable to watch for a reason. For point of reference, here is the sculptor before he got akumatized.

While I can't read your mind, I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that you, the reader, are thinking “How old is this man, exactly?”

For a while, people in the Miraculous fandom were a little creeped out by this man because the episode unintentionally made it look like this grown-ass man was in love with a teenage girl. It wasn't until March of 2020 that Astruc clarified his age.

But by then, the damage had been done, with some fan works, most notably Zoe-Oneesama's Scarlet Lady, calling his age into question (though ironically, the comic ended with the revelation that he is around the same age as the main cast about five months before Astruc's tweet).

The only thing this episode really accomplished was set the stage for Adrien's worst moments by showing how self-centered he can be, no matter how the show tries to portray his feelings for Ladybug.

#3: Ladybug (The Episode, Obviously)

This is where the Lila subplot comes to a head because Astruc didn't think it would make sense for Lila to play a part in the season finale, and it doesn't fail to disappoint... mostly because everyone had expectations so low, they've made their way to the Earth's core.

Lila frames Marinette for cheating on a test, stealing her grandmother's necklace, and pushing her down a flight of stairs (despite showing no visible injuries). Despite no investigation being launched, Marinette is immediately expelled from school with nobody believing her except Alya. Why is she suddenly on Marinette's side again, despite falling for Lila's lies so many times before, while reiterating that she's still her best friend? Because the plot says so.

And if the episode was about Alya investigating Lila and proving Marinette's innocence, it would have been okay, and could have led to some great character development for her.

Of course, that doesn't happen, as the idea of Marinette being expelled was that gripping of a plot, as the focus of the episode immediately shifts over to Hawkmoth attempting to create another army of Akumas like what he did in “Heroes' Day”... only for Nathalie's failing health to force him to abort the plan, making the entire moment pointless.

Instead, despite how dangerous it is to transform using the Peacock Miraculous, Nathalie becomes Mayura and creates another evil doppelganger of Ladybug. What is it with the writers and evil doppelgangers of the heroes? Did someone on the writing team really like the Spider-Man Clone Saga?

And when Cat Noir sees the doppelganger, well... I didn't mention a certain scene in “Puppeteer 2” because I felt it would be better to talk about it here.

During the battle with the pathetic wax statues, Cat Noir briefly lets his guard down around yet another evil doppelganger of Ladybug, this time, it's a wax statue being controlled by Puppeteer 2 (even though the way she talks is nothing like the way Puppeteer's minions talked because it was five-year-old girl doing the talking). The wax Ladybug goes in for a kiss, and Cat Noir almost lets her take his Miraculous if not for the wax smell giving it away, and not, you know, the complete 180 she took in terms of suddenly wanting to kiss him for no reason.

Okay, it's a little shaky, but Cat Noir still caught on. He'd never fall for a fake Ladybug just because she said she loved him, right?

Yes. He seriously took the side of the impostor all because of the sudden love confession. Just how MORONIC can one person be? If Caity Lotz randomly showed up at my doorstep and claimed she loved me, I wouldn't immediately start making out with her. I would want to know what the hell she's doing here, and why she suddenly declared her love for me.

But Cat Noir seriously falls for the fake Ladybug for the dumbest reason possible. He seriously doesn't think it's weird that Ladybug suddenly confessed her love for him?

And then Ladybug gets the charm that the fake Ladybug was created from, and suddenly, she's a good guy? Before we even get time to think about this, Mayura just erases the fake Ladybug from existence, and now we're supposed to feel bad that she's gone?

Even the expulsion subplot is easily resolved, as after an interesting scene with Adrien coercing Lila to confess in exchange for letting her model alongside her, Marinette is just let back into school with no difficulties. I mean, it's not like her parents would be pissed that their daughter was framed and possibly want to take legal action against the school, right?

And I have to reiterate, this is the last we see of Lila this season because Astruc thinks Chloe is far worse and deserves to be punished for working with Hawkmoth.

Between Marinette getting expelled, a second Scarletmoth attack, and the fake Ladybug, this episode just has too much going on, and it makes it incredibly hard to follow. If it was a two-parter, I think it could have been better paced, but from we got, it's just a mess of a poorly paced episode.

#2: Frozer

Wow, you probably didn't expect to see this episode on this list. I mean, everyone in the Miraculous fandom loves this episode!

Where should I even start? Maybe the scene from the trailer where Adrien reveals his identity to Ladybug... only for it to be a daydream. Because why would we actually want a reveal or have Adrien confess his feelings to Ladybug without the mask?

Yep, despite Ladybug saying that she only sees Cat Noir as a friend, as well as the fact that she loves someone else, he still can't help but try to make her fall for him. But don't worry, I'll get back to their relationship later on.

After that, Marinette agrees to come to the ice rink with Adrien so he isn't as nervous around Kagami, who is awful in this episode. Remember when Astruc elaborated on Kagami line telling Marinette to not hesitate as a warning to move her ass or Adrien was hers

Doesn't that just make everyone love Kagami as a character, and not as a forced love rival instead?

And this is the episode where the romance subplot in Miraculous Ladybug went from having an interesting concept with the Love Square, and turned it into a generic love triangle plotline thanks to Luka. I love Lukanette, but the whole love triangle only gives less time for the four sides of the Love Square to shine. It doesn't help that Marinette's conflicted feelings are brushed over so we can focus on the titular Frozer, who only gets three lines while akumatized.

And now back to the Whiny Cat Noir Show. For no reason, Cat Noir is suddenly all angry when he sees Ladybug, and just like in “Glaciator”, it's never acknowledged. Though at least here, Cat Noir admits that Ladybug's plan to defeat Frozer is right.

And then there's the ending, where it looks like Marinette is going to confess her feelings to Adrien... only for that to also be a daydream.

Hey, if any of the Miraculous Ladybug writers are reading this... STOP TEASING THE AUDIENCE LIKE THIS AND CUT THE BULLSHIT ALREADY!

This episode is proof that the romance subplot will just be drawn out even more, all while teasing the audience with potential confessions and reveals just to keep them hooked. And yet, it was only a taste of what the romance would be like in Season 3.

And even then, I still think one episode is worse than this.

#1: FELIX.

I hate this episode. It is among the worst episodes of any TV show I have ever seen. Not just for the writing, but for what it represents. Let's just say that like “Animaestro”, Astruc had a hand in the way this episode turned out, and unlike “Animaestro”, there was a big fallout on Twitter.

In fact, I'm sorry to keep leading you down the rabbit hole like this, but I think this episode deserves its own post. Or rather, its own posts.

For now, I'm going to work on the list of the best episodes to help me recover my sanity.

[geekgirles]

Chloé’s redemption arc

I know I’m probably late to the party, but I’ve been meaning to do this analysis for a while, as I think there’s still much to be discussed.

When I first watched Miracle Queen, I must admit it was not in the best viewing quality possible. I watched it when it first premiered, in Ukranian (I think? Sorry, since I know nothing about the language I don’t really remember), in clips, and with lots of major events lacking. So that didn’t help improve my opinion on the episode compared to what we were promised (i.e. we were bound to cry), and what we got in Love Eater.

But I got the jest: Chloé is no longer Ladybug’s ally. 

Meaning all the time we spent hoping for her redemption was for naught.

And even so, I must admit that we should have seen it coming. Congratulations, members of the fandom who never believed in Chloé, you were proven right (this isn’t meant as a sarcastic remark, don’t worry).

What I mean to say is, the whole Queen Bee fiasco was foreshadowed during the season! Just like Chloé becoming Queen Bee was foreshadowed during season 2.

In season 2, whenever Chloé was given some focus, we got glimpses of her redeeming qualities, or aspects of her life/personality that were supposed to make us feel more sympathetic about her.

First of all, compared to season 1, Chloé didn’t cause nearly as many akumatisations in season 2, and when she caused them (directly, Malediktator, undirectly, Zombizou), she played an important role in the episode instead of being just their target.

In Despair Bear, thanks to Adrien’s coaxing, she tried to be a better person, and it probably would’ve done much more than just throwing a party, or trying to not be rude to others had Adrien hold her accountable for her actions longer (no Adrien salt, though. Just facts). 

In fact, the first hint on Chloé’s heroic side was shown then, when she actively did her best to help/save Ladybug from Despair Bear.

Then, we have Zombizou. 

True, her actions at the begining of the episode where far, far, far from heroic. Sabotaging Marinette’s present because she’d forgotten to bring one of her own was petty, mean, and childish. But she sacrifised herself for Ladybug and genuinely apologised to Miss Bustier.

In Style Queen she was clever enough to pretend to be on her mother’s side in order to prevent “being fired” by her, but she remained loyal to Ladybug and even tried to help her.

When it comes to Queen Wasp, even if Chloé’s actions were guided by the wrong reasons, in the end she acknowledged her mistakes, and even apologised. Hinting that there might actually be hope for her. Not to mention, she only used the miraculous when she was fed up with her mother belittling her in favor of Marinette, which, let’s face it, would be harsh for anyone.

And finally, we had Malediktator; the episode where Queen Bee became more than just a fantasy. That episode was the most hopeful of them all when it came to Chloé becoming a better person.

We saw Chloé displaying powerful emotions and intentions: sadness, courage, remorse...

She proved she was actually a competent wielder, and a loyal ally to Ladybug.

Heck, she was even nince to Sabrina.

See? Season 2 was meant to make us believe that Chloé’s change was possible. But season 3 threw many hints on the opposite.

In retrospective, the biggest hint would be Stormy Weather 2. 

Chloé’s actions there were inexcusable: she bullied Aurore like she messed with Ivan when he got akumatised, she kept on mistreating Sabrina, and for the first time we saw her desire to be Queen Bee again, no matter the cost. (Which would have been taken more seriously had the episode premiered after Miraculer like it was supposed to...)

And the biggest hint of all: “Once a villain, always a villain.”

Honestly, considering we already knew the synopsis for Miracle Queen then, I don’t know how we didn’t see it coming sooner...

And her interaction with Chat in Bakerix could be taken as one as well. Just like in Startrain, Chloé seemed to be starting to believe that just because she’d been previously entrusted with a miraculous, that she would always be needed. No matter the circumstances. When in truth, 90% of the time Ladybug hands out a miraculous is because she needs some very specific skills that are granted by one specific miraculous. So it’s a given Chloé wouldn’t always get the bee.

And, of course, there’s Animaestro. Besides Stormy Weather, that’s the other episode where she was like her season 1 self the most. Just because she didn’t like Kagami, and because she was jealous of her bond with Adrien, she cooked up a plan to embarrass her and even talked Marinette into helping her. Just like she would do to Marinette during most of the first season.

But because they can’t just hand us a straight up answer about Chloé being redeemable or not, they threw Miraculer and its “Chloé resisted akumatisation” scene at us. But, to be honest, considering the level of entitlement she displayed during the episode, we should have kept our guard up for the finale.

This is something that was most likely foreshadowed in the ending card:

Chloé’s back was turned on us, symbolising her future betrayal. That she would turn her back on Ladybug. The only one smiling was Hawk Moth, meaning he was up to no good. And after Sabrina had been defeated, Chloé got rid of both her picture with Ladybug, and her costume of her, signifying that she no longer looks up to her like she used to.

And, of course, there’s the finale.

Many will say it was Marinette’s fault for entrusting the miraculous to Kagami instead of Chloé, but seriously? I actually believe she made the right choice.

No matter how you look at it, Kagami wasn’t in nearly as much danger as Chloé was. Sure, Hawk Moth knows of their secret identities, but Kagami only revealed hers to her mother (who’d forgotten all about it once she was deakumatised) and Hawk Moth, whose least concern at the moment was the actual akuma battle. 

Chloé, on the other hand, had revealed her identity to all of Paris, including her parents. The ones who were akumatised at the moment. 

One could argue that was all the more reason to give Chloé the miraculous, but considering Love Eater had no qualms in endangering their daughter when she had no powers, I wouldn’t put it past them to do the same if they were to battle. And don’t forget it was them who were at fault for Queen Bee’s akumatisation during Heroes’ Day. That was Hawk Moth using Chloé’s identity against her. 

When it comes to Marinette, her only mistake was not detransforming when visiting Master Fu. Had she done it, and the most Chat and her would have had to face would be an akumatised Chloé. But not Miracle Queen. 

Was Marinette troubled by her own emotions when she picked the miraculous? Of course. But, ultimately, when it comes to her chosen, she made the right choice.

Now Chloé, despite being emotionally vulnerable, could’ve done better. After all, she managed to do so in Miraculer. She also had plenty of reasons to trust Ladybug before Hawk Moth when he was trying to manipulate her. 

I can’t take the fact that she tried resisting him at first from her, but you can’t take away from me the fact that she gave in, either.

When Hawk Moth was trying to convince her to side with him, he gave her reasons to betray Ladybug that were as easy to debunk as Lila’s lies. But just like that particular example, Chloé didn’t do something crucial; she didn’t think clearly.

“What has she ever done for you?”

“Nothing.”

That is the biggest lie I have ever heard! Not even Lila’s are that bad!

Because Ladybug had done so much for Chloé. And so many times! Arguably, Ladybug had done more for Chloé than her parents ever did.

She’s saved her countless times of akumas, many of which she’d caused.

She apologised for her mistakes (Antibug) or any action that might’ve hurt Chloé (Miraculer).

She entrusted her with a miraculous even when she had previously proved she wasn’t the smartest choice.

She listened to her problems and offered valuable advice and support.

Seriously, Ladybug has been more of a role model to Chloé than literally any other character in the show.

But did that mean anything to Chloé? 

No.

In the end, her desire to be exceptional and celebrated outweighed her admiration for Ladybug. 

In the end, the brat beat the hero.

And her immature rant and desperate attempts at the end of Miracle Queen didn’t really help either. She kept blaming Ladybug for not giving her the bee miraculous, which she constantly referred to as ‘hers’; she actually tried to grab the akuma Hawk Moth released after being defeated, she even tried to keep the Miraculous Box to herself!

Hate to say it, but it was kinda pathetic.

And, honestly? Now that she no longer has Ladybug as someone to look up to in her life, and her parents will probably be busier trying to rekindle their relationship than paying attention to her, I can only imagine she will walk down an even darker path. Especially given the debut of a new Bee Miraculous Holder.  

A miraculous holder that looks, suspiciously, a lot like Chloé. But who we know it’s not her, mainly because it’s been confirmed, and she’s been described as “very sweet.”

Now, this is mere speculation, but I believe this might actually be the true introduction of Amber Bourgeois. 

Remember her? She was thought to be Chloé’s sister and the original holder of the bee, a belief very widely spread until  the SDCC2016/17 (?), where Rena Rouge and Queen Bee were first featured.

It would actually explain Lindalee Rose’s statement; “secret siblings.” And this is perfectly plausible if we keep in mind that Félix was supposed to have been deleted when they created Adrien. But, hey! He has an entire episode dedicated to him! Crazy, right?

But back to the point. If Amber were to appear and prove herself to be way more likeable than Chloé, that would surely put her in a foul mood. Especially if she were to receive the Bee Miraculous. And I’m not even saying that Chloé has to know her sister’s her replacement to be mad!

As I see it, it wouldn’t be impossible to believe that, one way or another, Chloé had always been in Amber’s shadow, especially when it comes to Audrey and her affection. Probably, Amber wouldn’t only be nicer and generally more likeable than Chloé, she would probably be more exceptional than her, earning her the attention and approval from Audrey that Chloé so desperately seeks.

Maybe, we’ll see Chloé was so attached to the idea of being a hero because she genuinely thought that was her only chance to be something her sister wasn’t. She might have thought she could only be exceptional if she was Queen Bee.

Which will only be all the more painful when she realises that she truly has no chance to ever wield the miraculous again, not only because she betrayed Ladybug, but because she’s been replaced.

Both scenarios, losing the miraculous to another or having her sister outshine her again, would actually explain her fifth and new akumatisation in season 4.

So is Chloé really capable of redemption?

If you ask me, she is. But she’ll have to earn it as Chloé Bourgeois, not as Queen Bee or through any external help other than the hard truth.

What do I mean with this? Simple; redemptions happen when the character actually faces the consequences of their actions, consequences that are as grave as the mistakes or crimes they committed. So if we want Chloé to be redeemed, she must realise that she messed up, big time, after her actions catch up to her.

It’s for this reason why I personally don’t see a ship such as Luckloé happening. 

People argue Luka could be a good influence on her and they would really complement the other and bla, bla, bla... 

Seriously, though. What could Luka possibly do that shouldn’t have been already achieved by Ladybug or Adrien?

It’s true Luka could call her out on her flaws, and maybe she would try to be better in order to appease him. But just like with Adrien, it’d only be that, an attempt to get in their good graces again, not a genuine attempt to be a better person. Meaning, the moment Luka, or Adrien, or whoever she might want to impress forgive her, she’ll be back to being her usual self.

And don’t try telling me Luka would actually hold her accountable for her actions for more than an episode, because if there’s something that should be learned when watching Miraculous Ladybug that is that feelings can blind us.

For starters, that is literally the reason Hawk Moth even has akumas!

Hawk Moth literally depends on his victims’ hurt feelings to make it easier for him to get under their skin and get them to agree to being turned into his minions. All for the sake of revenge.

Second, although I am going to go on a bit of a tangent here, that is also what happens to those involved in this show’s complicated love story.

Surprisingly enough, Kagami is the best example. 

Despite being the most stoic one of the four teenagers that are romantically involved with each other, she allows her feelings for Adrien to blind her from things she doesn’t take kindly from other people.

For example, there’s the thing with moving on. Out of all the four of them, Kagami is the only one who’s shown no intention of actually letting go of Adrien. Because, even if Marinette and Adrien are certainly very attached to their own crushes, it’s been shown more than once that they have at least considered moving on from Adrien and Ladybug; respectively. And as for Luka, he’s made it very clear ever since Frozen that he would gladly let go of Marinette if it means she’ll be happy. Kagami, on the other hand, has made it very clear that she wholeheartedly believes Adrien and she belong together and that she refuses to let go of him entirely, preferring to wait for him to realise she’s the best choice.

There’s also the fact that Kagami’s stated many times she isn’t one to hesitate, nor does she have a lot of patience for those who do. Even going as far as saying Adrien’s hesitation was hurting her. However, that doesn’t stop her from still going after him, even when it has led her to doubt and don’t think highly of others.

See what I mean?

With this I’m trying to say that even Luka could be too blinded by his feelings for Chloé to actually make her rectify her behaviour if Lukloé were to happen. 

And there’s also the fact that if there’s any relationship she should work to mend and improve first, it should be her friendship with Sabrina.

Summing up, while I believe not all hope is lost, I also think Chloé shouldn't be entrusted with a miraculous again. She should work to be exceptional as Chloé, not as a hero. She should learn to be a better Chloé Bourgeois, not a better Queen Bee.

[boringlibrarianthoughts]

Spn Series Finale - and How It’s Still Destiel Endgame

 I’ve been thinking more about the finale and have finally assembled my thoughts on it.

While I understand many fans hold to “the finale wasn’t real/canon,” to me, it was because that’s what was shown on tv, so I’m attempting to come to terms with it. You don’t have to feel that way and that’s totally fine. That’s just how I feel. So, here are my very lengthy thoughts:

*keep reading below*

I’m gonna be honest and say that I have always felt 100% sure that Dean would die at the end of the show. I started watching during like season 3, and I’ve believed that from more or less the start, so I went into the finale expecting him to die. Dean’s self loathing resulted in risky behavior on his part that was definitely indicative of someone who would never reach old age. That doesn’t mean I wanted Dean to die. Quite the opposite. His character deserved a chance to break out of the vicious cycle that had damaged his entire life; I wanted to see an arc of redemption and coming to love yourself (this would have been huge given Dean’s self-hatred). I wanted to see Dean move beyond the life his father trapped him in. As far as character development goes, it actually made more sense at the end of the series for Dean to get out of hunting and live a quiet life (with Cas) and Sam to continue the hunting lifestyle (with Eileen). This is what I hoped for, but given that for some reason showrunners and writers seem to hate their audiences and want to punish them for enjoying their shows, I figured this was unlikely.

So yes, I wasn’t shocked when Dean died. As soon as I saw that friggin piece of rebar on the screen, I knew that was it. So my main issue wasn’t that Dean died (again, I didn’t want that at all, but I knew it was coming), but what happened during the death scene. Like, I get that now without Chuck keeping them alive to entertain himself and Jack deciding to be totally hands off, the odds of Dean or Sam dying accidentally would increase exponentially. So yes, I could even cope with the rebar death (I know, I know).

What actually bothered me about the death scene was how Dean’s death is made completely about Sam. Wtf? Like, it seems the indication is that Dean’s death is a noble sacrifice for Sam to be happy. 

I don’t like that.

While the first few years of the show focus on the tension between Sam and Dean and the struggles of family, it eventually moves past this (thank goodness, too). Their relationship becomes more or less settled and they are comfortable with their brotherly bond and no longer feel angry or bitter about it for the most part. That was satisfying to see. Instead, the focus shifted to other relationships. Sam would have girlfriends, a fun relationship with Rowena, and learn to trust himself more and grow into a leadership role. Dean would struggle with himself rather than his brother, but he would learn to develop friendships and grow closer to Castiel. The brothers were no longer codependent.

Dean’s death did a complete 180 and shifted back to the pathetic codependency of the early seasons. Dean saying his life was always about Sam blah blah blah was gross and a mean thing for the showrunners to make Ackles perform. Dean and Sam had outgrown this period of their lives. Reverting to it was out of character for Dean.

Now, I am certain this was done to “bookend” the show. Have the relationship between Sam and Dean go back to the way it was in the beginning - and this could be done since every other character was written out of the finale. There was no one left for them to care about anymore except each other. I think that if the show had ended like this around like season 5, it would have fit fine. Dean and Sam’s relationship was sadly like this, and Dean felt he had no worth beyond what he could do for Sam. 

HOWEVER - the show has been on for 15 freakin seasons. A lot will change during that time. During the last 3 seasons of the show (at least) the main relationship in Dean’s life was that with Cas, not with Sam. Whether you believe the relationship between Dean and Cas was platonic or romantic, you can’t deny that Dean valued Cas very, very highly and loved him in some way. To me, it seems pretty straightforward that Dean had been actively trying to repress romantic feelings for Castiel for the last couple years of the show but whatever.

Dean’s speech during his death was out of character. And yes, as others have pointed out, Sam definitely could have done SOMETHING to keep Dean alive.

Here’s where I think his feelings for Cas were suggested in the episode (as an aside, I genuinely think that the COVID delay allowed for some... nervousness on the part of showrunners or whoever regarding Dean and Castiel’s relationship being explicitly romantic, and the tonal shift of the last two episodes is the result of that). Dean wanted to give up and die. He didn’t fight. Sam had been trained by the best witch around (Rowena) and surely could have come up with something. Call the friggin ambulance. Do the vampire reversal thing y’all have mentioned. DEAN DIDN’T WANT ANY OF IT. Now, we’ve seen before that Dean becomes suicidal when Cas is dead. I think this is a continuation of that theme. By killing Cas and then not bringing him back, the writers created a situation where Dean had literally nothing to live for anymore. And that’s really sad. I know, I know, I shouldn’t be so attached to fictional characters (whatever), but I really care about Sam, Dean, and Cas. I wanted them all to be happy after all the crap they’ve been through.

Dean’s closest companion was taken from him in a really, really awful way that would doubtless be traumatizing for Dean. He would likely feel intensely guilty about Castiel’s death and that he didn’t tell Cas how he felt (however, it’s clear Dean’s actual response to Cas’ love declaration was cut, so who knows what happened there - I wrote another lengthy post about that, actually). 

I think Dean’s death happened a couple years after they defeated Chuck - the montage in the beginning of 15x20 represents that. Dean didn’t literally die on the very next hunt. However, a couple years still is not a long time, and doubtless Dean would have spent that time struggling with the idea that he couldn’t save Cas no matter what he did. That’s terrible. Who knows what he might have tried during that time to bring him back from The Empty, and the thought of him fruitlessly working toward that before finally giving up and having to live with the finality of Castiel’s death is really depressing. Of course, he wouldn’t know that Cas wasn’t even in the frickin Empty anymore because Jack pulled him out, which makes it even more sad. Now, I’ve seen some people wondering why Cas wouldn’t come back to Dean... it seems pretty clear to me that when Jack said he would be hands off, he meant the forces of heaven in general. That means Cas would be in heaven working to improve it and not be able to leave or communicate with Dean and Sam.

So Dean dies, alone in life and likely still feeling like he’s a failure. Not cool, Spn writers. The best we can assume is that he took Cas’ speech to heart and was trying to be a better version of himself (as shown by being merciful to Chuck).

Then he ends up in heaven where he’s greeted by Bobby (and not Cas - remember Becky’s little Funko POPs display of Dean and Castiel together in front of The Roadhouse? I think that was the initial plan before someone got cold feet). Anyway, I really think someone involved with this show was honestly trying to throw us a bone with the Dean/Bobby conversation. 

Bobby points out that Heaven is basically like living a normal life again and not just reliving your memories because Jack rebuilt it.

Bobby says Heaven is now “What it always should’ve been. Everyone happy, everyone together,” then mentions some side characters (no one too important so we wouldn’t ask why the actor wasn’t in the episode) and Dean’s parents being nearby.

Now, I totally get the John Winchester hate (he’s abusive, no way around it), but I think Dean had always dreamed of getting to know his parents in a good way and not the way life on earth had been. This is giving him that chance.

Then, this is the big line to me.

Bobby: “It ain’t just heaven, Dean. It’s the heaven you deserve. And we’ve been waiting for ya.”

This is everyone’s shared heaven now, not just Dean reliving some memory. This is everyone’s heaven. And yet, Bobby emphasizes that Dean is the focus of this. Dean. Dean was the motivation for this new heaven - the kind of heaven that Dean deserves and ought to have and everyone has been waiting for Dean to be there to enjoy it. Why? Frickin why? “Why,” I asked myself upon watching this episode live. Sure, Jack loved Dean and wanted Dean to love him back, but that seems weird for Jack to do this for Dean.

And then Bobby explains what actually went down.

Dean: “So Jack did all that?”

Bobby pauses and says meaningfully: “Well, Cas helped.” He looks meaningfully over at Dean and then raises his eyebrows suggestively. This is a hella weird response if you take it as anything other than an indication of a (future) romantic relationship between Dean and Cas. Castiel, as Jack’s adoptive father, would have helped, guided, and advised Jack on what to do, and Cas’ motivation for all of this would be to prepare a heaven for Dean that would make him happy. That’s an incredibly loving gesture. Like, Cas is really into Dean.

Likely, Bobby has learned things he didn’t know during his mortal life. He doubtless has either learned or inferred that Castiel and Dean love each other. If Dean didn’t love Cas back, Bobby would not have mentioned his being in Heaven so suggestively. If someone wiggled their eyebrows about my bestie being nearby, I’d be weirded out because I’m not into my bestie in that way lol. I’m into my husband, who is my romantic partner. Seeing Cas busily working to improve Heaven with Dean in mind would be a dead giveaway to Bobby about what was going on between the two of them.

Dean’s smile in response to hearing this is honestly how I smile when I think about something that makes me happy but I don’t want anyone else to know about. And that’s how I think Dean is reacting.

Next, Dean drives around. I don’t know if it’s supposed to be a montage of time passing for him and he doesn’t literally just drive nonstop or if it’s really just a little while in Heaven time before Sam shows up.

Now why wouldn’t Cas appear? Well, couple reasons. Firstly, it would’ve been “too gay” for the higher ups involved in the finale. There really wasn’t a non-gay way to reunite them. I think this is ultimately why Collins wasn’t in the episode.

As far as the in-show story, I think it makes sense for Castiel to be a little shy of Dean. I mean, he did confess his undying love for the man assuming he would never have to face Dean again. Castiel didn’t know Jack would resurrect him. He was literally like “ok, I love you, sorry, gotta go die now.” Now he’s got Dean in Heaven with him for eternity. There’s no rush for them to meet up again. I think Dean would want the resolution of knowing his whole family is in Heaven again, and it makes sense that Castiel would be bashfully hiding in a corner until Dean called him. Then once they met up, it’d probably be some messy making out and pure joy at being together again (sorry not sorry lol). I really think that was supposed to be our takeaway from this finale regarding Dean and Cas’ relationship. Was it ideal? No, but I do think there was something.

Some other thoughts: Eileen was perfect for Sam and not explicitly showing them together was a major cop-out. I think that because Padalecki had a new show coming out on the same network, they didn’t want to show Sam settled with a specific woman thinking “oh we want the fangirls to imagine they could be with Sam” which is dumb but probably their line of thinking. This also explains Sam’s totally random and unnecessary shirtless shot in the finale. I’ve known these characters for so long and care about them and that shot was like seeing your brother naked. No thanks.

I think this also explains the choice to revert to Sam being the main character and Dean’s only focus in the end. That’s how the show started out, and it makes sense from a marketing standpoint to emphasize Padalecki’s performance.

Anyway, I’ve probably left something out that I planned on including, but this is already crazy long lol. So there you have it - I finally wrote down my thoughts on a finale that aired 3 months ago. I’m clearly on top of everything.

Plus, I feel pretty confident they will do a mini reunion series within a few years, so hopefully some of these issues will be corrected before too long lol.