#it's not even 10am hahaha

[herefortheships]

It happened. I have listened to the entirety of MacArthur Park. All seven and a half minutes of it, and even repeated certain parts. A song I would have never looked up on my own, all because of this hopeless romantic, moldy old poltergeist and his gorgeous middle-aged goth babe. 💚💜💚💜

[kuiinncedes]

:|

[kimmkitsuragi]

like it actually feels like a joke. i go ehat the FUCK i don't know anything bc I keep forgetting to study the whole day. the fuck. and then i look at example questions and im like ok i got this i can solve this shit. then i go oh BUT what if they ask different questions!!! i don't know anythinggggg and then i look at the other example questions (from an earlier exam) and I'm like naur fucking way why are these questions kinda the same. ARE THEY JOKING ...

[eriochromatic]

As a character, what do you love most about Silco? As a subject matter, what do you enjoy drawing about him most? (personally, I love his nose), but his fashion ... GOD. I would love to see your take on Happy AU Silco's wardrobe options!

Also, do you do concept art for video games or animation for a living? Your work is so professional, I especially admire your coloring!

I think for fictional characters in general, I love those who have really strong convictions and would do anything for those set of ideals, and then the narrative continuously tests them and pushes them to the edge. Whether or not the character follows through in their ideals or finally reaches their limit doesn't matter to me, I just like seeing them wrangle with their decisions lol

This is why I didn't like s1 Jayce (who to me was a candle in the wind) but I loved s2 Jayce- for s2 Jayce's arc basically revolved entirely around Viktor, from the beginning where he made the decision to bring him back w/ the hexcore (despite Viktor telling him to destroy it), to the end where Jayce basically decides to die with Viktor in the ether. Jayce was brought to his absolute limit and we got to see him grapple with the decisions that he had to make.

Silco was the same in s1, to me he goes through his own personal "corruption arc" in the sense that in s1e9 he betrays his own ideals for Jinx and finally understands Vander's position. He and Vander probably started out as the same idealists, and then the narrative kept punching him in the gut and forged him into who we saw in s1e1. A lot of this is off screen but just the idea of him (after his fight with Vander) sort of losing his moral compass bit by bit which all culminates to producing shimmer just to prove how much he's willing to fight for Zaun, and then later on realizing there is a final line he won't ever cross...

Honestly even if he did cross that line and went like "haha I don't actually care about Jinx" I would still love him as a character (just in a massively different way since he would be like. A completely different person. Idk I watched the Penguin recently and I still fucking love Oz and also my favorite asoiaf character is Stannis so. LMAO.)

Sorry this turned into a bit of a rant HAHAHA but as for your other questions, yes I love drawing his nose as well, honestly it's funny seeing young Silco art that doesn't have his nose where he just becomes an emo anime boy. I'm just like who are you that's not Silco thats Simon LOL

Idk about specifically designing other outfits for Silco though, I just draw him in what feels right for the moment (?) I guess my art process currently is more like "what am I trying to tell with this" rather than just playing dress up dolls (not that there's anything wrong with that! Just not my thing) Like, for that AU last drop thing I drew, Silco, Mylo, and Claggor are all wearing smth more casual since the vibe was like 10am on a Sunday morning but Powder is wearing her normal clothes since she just pulled an all nighter with Ekko (well ok they fell asleep at like 5am before Ekko rudely ran away lol), and Vander was already up anyways probably to do bar admin stuff idk.. so if you're asking me directly what I think is in Silco's wardrobe I'm kind of drawing a blank fjskdmmsmfd

And yes I do concept art/illustration for video games for a living :)

[manybcdthings]

Describe the character's typical daily routine FOR FELIX HAHAHAHA

His isn't as lame as Oskar's but it's definitely worse HAHAHA

I think he has a natural body clock to be an early riser, but it's something he hates. He probably wakes up at 6am or 7am but with no idea why he's awake at that time and tries to go back to sleep.

When he was a good boy, he probably stayed awake, and scrolled social media, texted people and went to the gym and had a healthy breakfast. And then a cigarette with his coffee. He probably got into the office late still for a small while, like five or ten minutes and it gradually improved to a few minutes late lmao.

These days I think he goes back to sleep and doesn't wake up properly until 10am, if he's hungover and having a comedown he'll literally stare at the ceiling for a while. His days are aimlessly spent now, but I get the impression he still is mindful of the importance of getting some fresh air or going to the gym. He'll show up VERY late to work, like it's pointless he's even there.

If he doesn't show up at all, which is more likely, he's somewhat retreated until later on in the day when his preferred social circles all start up with plans. Usually ends up with his apartment full of people he doesn't even care about but there's drugs and alcohol until he passes out and it happens all over again.

[kithtaehyung]

Okay so I literally read broken part 2, first thing in the morning, it was like 10am (Saturday) here... I don't even know what I was expecting but several hours later... I am ready to talk about it. 1.The smut, on another level... nothing to say about it except maybe we are all somewhat thirsty hoes.

2.The hints about bro being sus. I died at "is this about yoongi", not to mention the phone call.

3.The foreshadowing, hot as hell keep going, I am already hooked so wtf not!

4.L-bombs, RYEN!!!! 😩😩😩

Yoongi saying he liked having OC around, we knew... But he SAID it 😭😭😭

😭😭😭😭

oh my gosh you read this first thing in the morning? what a way to wake up HAHAHA. talk about a shot of 3tan in the morning whewww. but i'm glad you were able to talk about it later!

throwing your bro side-eyes in the bag klsdjfdkls we're gonna see how it all goes down in due time. and the foreshadowing was a huge part of this. whew!

Yoongi saying he liked having OC around, we knew... But he SAID it 😭😭😭

THIS PART HAD ME MELTINGGGGGGGG

[violetsditsyrainbow]

Welcome home: to be or to not be tickled (tk/fluff story line) pt.6

Non storyline requests can be made! With any characters, just canon characters, y/n and canon, y/n and violet, violet and canon, any character requests can be made, these not storyline drabbles can affect the story though (if characters get closer somthing is learned about another character, maybe even relationships)

“Sally,… it’s 10am” I say after being dragged to what looks like a mini theater “I know I’ve brought you and violet here since no one else would help me with my play!” She said as she posed dramatically, I hear violet giggle a little, she normally puts effort into stifling those. though she woke up ten minutes ago I think it may be the sleep hysterics. “Me nor violet can act, I’m not good at “playing the part” and violet is still waking up” violet must have taken that as a sign and shook her self awake putting that happy go lucky dork grin back on her face. “Oh come on I really want to do this part of this really cool act and-“ “is there gonna be any play or show live for this?” I interrupted sally “no?” “Then why are we doing this? I have packages to open and violet has some kind of project I bet you!” I say trying to reason with sally but my arguments land on deaf ears. “Sounds like some ones just scared” sally said trying to pressure me into doing the play “😒” the more this argument goes on I hear y/n trying to stifle her laughter, now I know she’s woken up. Sally continues “sounds like some ones a bit chicken!” “😐” violet starts blushing a tad bit stifling her laughter using her hands to cover the bottom half of her face. “Bawk bawk!” Sally continues to make teasing joke so I walk over to her and decide I’ve had enough. So I grab her sides and start tickling her. “Bawhahahaahaak! Waihahait a mohohohmemt!” She tumbles to the floor and i follow still tickling her. She try’s to bat my hands away. “Violet some help please!” Violet looks at me nods and holds Sally’s arms above her head “HAHAHA THIHIHIHS IHIHIS NOHO FAIR!” “Neither was you dragging violet practically out of her bed!” “Thahahats dihihiFRENT!!” She suddenly yelps when my hands spider to her armpits! Violet looks at me and gently sits on her knees to keep Sally’s hands above her head without using her hands. I slow down my tickling and violet starts lightly scraping her nails against Sally’s rays “Cochis Cochie coo~ you have such a cute laugh!” Violet says in a baby voice “*uncontrollable giggling*” does being a daycare attendant leave this much of an affect on people? Cause it’s amusing! “APPLES!” Sally yells which violet instantly stopped so I did as-well, it must be the neighborhood safe word. Violet takes a water bottle out of her bag and hands it to the giddy star while hugging her so she’s not still on the floor. “That was fun!” Violet says enthusiastically “it hehe was.” Sally says tiredly. “I’m to tired to do the part so you guys can go, thanks for the laugh by the way!” I say my goodbyes and leave to go home, needing coffee after that. Violet stayed with sally to keep her company. But time to focus now! I need to open my packages!

I’d like to think because of sallys bold personality she's kind of a tickle monster in the neighborhood and not many people have heard her "tickle laugh before"

[nice2meetyouu]

Help Desk

'Di ko gets bakit parang gusto na ako ipasa ng agent sa iba. 'Di niya ba kayang iresolve 'yung isyu? Pero what bothers me ay 'yung diagnosis niya—wala raw akong access sa original file kaya gano'n. Hello, nagtry nga tayo ng offline file, nasa akin mismo, tapos same outcomes. Syempre nagprotesta ako, lalo na naaaccess ko naman 'yun a few days ago then all of a sudden, wala na akong access pag sa app. Pero online meron naman. How do you even explain na naaaccess ko sya online kung wala akong access kamo sa original file? Ang frustrating ng experience. Kapwa pinoy pa man din 'tong nasa helpdesk ng client.

Also, 'di ko gets bakit 'yung panggabing agent ang na-assign sa akin. Nagmemessage sya at 2am pero within 9am-6pm naman ang regular business hours, within that timeframe ko rin sinend 'yung inquiry. 'Di ko nareplyan at 2am so sabi niya ano daw 'yung convenient time for me. Sabi ko 10am UTC+8. Sabi niya sorry kasi panggabi siya (in english) at irereassign na lang daw 'yung ticket ko sa pang-umaga. Pero today bigla lang din siyang tumawag past 2pm nang walang pasabi. Nagising tuloy nanay ko sa ringtone (nagchacharge kasi ako sa kwarto). Bakit pa tinanong kung anong oras 'yung convenient sa akin?

Hay nako, be upfront na lang kaysa 'yung ganito na magulo. 'Di rin sya masyadong friendly, may gusto pa akong sabihin e nagta-talk over na sa akin. May deadline ba 'yan? Dapat within 20 minutes tapos na? At syempre hindi lang naman ito ang first unhelpful attempt nila. Every time may nireraise ako, wala namang naresolve maski isa. Hanap ka na lang ng sariling workaround. Bakit pa naghelpdesk kung wala lang din? Hahaha.

And to be fair, sa client side lang naman may endless issues na 'di nasosolve. Internally, proactive at prompt naman 'yung IT people sa pag-help with technical issues.

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

9.22.24 Happy Blessed Sunday

7:20 am

Still,have windblow...

Drinking my first cup of coffee and awhile ago I observed the 4 am until 5am,still dark...

I badly need to focus on my job coz I need to pay my creditz on Tala and Ely and some other loan...

My shooting time ( joke ) will be at 6am tomorrow but of course we need to be inside before 6am or you will be late on your first day and it is not a good thing to do, aside from there will be a deduction on your salary....

I need to be there in "Teleperformance,Molino" before 6am...5:30 am I should be there...

7:30 am

Still,have windblow...

I'm just wonderin' if there are people on the trycycle terminal that early time....Probably,there is....

It is "show time".....I need money to pay my creditz!!!!

I wanna travel and save for my "nose perfection" and some important expenses...

7:36 am

Still,have windblow...

I don't wanna go back to either Brien and Ryan, I want Mitch and Mayee to handle them coz I have a strange windblow...

But if I have an event in the future I would love to see them there... "I'm all ears"....

I really love my cousin-white and liking Matthias and falling for a genuine american tongue...

But youtubers aren't real... Like Garret that I will always love forever but an artist already....

Noralyn Sapatua, I still don't like her for texting Ryan but it's been a thousand years ago... I already completed my memory.... I had a partial amnesia way back... I just don't like her character that she texted my xbf but he was my bf that time without telling me... The text was something bad!

My point is there was a bad intention that she did that on my X-Ryan...

8:07 am

Still,have windblow...

My real focus angels, I wanna focus on my acting career in Teleperformance Molino... Joke! I'm really a good person... I want to reach a position and make a call center somehow a productive industry for people who got talents to do this job... I wanna encourage more people to challenge themselves in this industry coz we are still Filipino and computer is really something, it is technology of course.... It is a challenging thing for me, that I wanna reach the top! Even if it takes a 100 years!!!

It is still an advantage most specially for my crew who are claiming that they are my crew and they can't even open the computer... How can they be a security for me???

8:46 am

Still, have windblow...

It is just painful when they do the "copy and smash"....

When they copied everything the next thing they will smash me! I hope have some etiquette...

For so long, will they learn to say "Sorry"???...

9:58 am

Uncle Jun is somehow still a plastics... His character is swaying even on me and on Uncle DD... The bad thing he will make an act as if putting me down again...

Crysette gave us a foodish for lunchie then this Uncle Jun received the foodish bowl and suddenly bow down on Crysette that hey! there is already a foodish here... Peachy is not yet cooking the rice, it is still early hellowie! It is just 10am and we still have a left over rice in the ref...

He hated Borgy for their own movement that I don't know... I'm not sure..

Uncle Jun is doing his laundry and look what happened angels.. He accidentally broke the dryer spinner hahaha...

I told him not to full load it, he didn't want to believe me....

Later, I will try if I can ask for the warranty or parts replacement for this...

10:18 am

Still,have windblow...

I still wanna do the rumour thing..

I heard the rumuor, I heard a rumuor that my cousin-white will call me and think of me if not, he will never be happy and will have tragedy for all of their family clan there....

Mitch is lucky for escaping the "simple battery" that she did on me??? Still, doing...???

17 years angels... I feel so sad and bitterish!!!

I want my work,my middle-class life and my cute bf! My cousin-white... I want "nose perfection"!

10:42 am

There is an act of do how to take care a small washing machine... Like my write-up here on how to do do having tall man with a shorty girl... The main actor are Borgy and I...

Check this out angels!

Totally, damaged by Unce Jun coz he put 2 maongs and 1 maong jacket... I told him not to full load it.... It is just a small washing machine...

11:39 am

Still,have windblow...

Oh! God... This phase of my life will pass... I don't want to sacrifice too much that I don't know the people behind all of these....

5:18 pm

Still,have windblow...

Uncle Jun cooked our dinner tonight... It is Sunday...

[neve-gallus-girl-detective]

sometimes I forget how early I start work hahaha I'm like "ugh, it's been hours and I'm so bored" and it isn't even 10am lol

[apexart-journal]

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 24

Last night before sleeping I had been doing research on the best way I could get to Governor's Island from Manhattan. Even though governors Island opens at 7am, I could only see that Ferry’s were going over from 10am, and I needed to be there at 9:00am. So as a just incase, I decided to get to the ferry terminal at 9:00am. Once I got to the terminal, I was asked to walk further down the road to catch another ferry as their ferries were not operating. I finally was able to catch a ferry which only took 8 minutes to cross over. Hopping off and as I walked further into the Island, I was met with an eerie feeling that also produced curiosity. There was almost no one in sight and everything was empty and I was surrounded by abandoned old buildings. This would be the perfect place to shoot films. It also truly reminded me of The Walking Dead, hahaha. I finally got to the Earth Matter post, where I would be helping with composting. When I arrived there were only 4 people which got me a little worried as I was expecting other volunteers. Turns out, The 4 people on site where the workers and carers of Earth Matter, and they had sent an email to people late last night that they were cancelling the volunteer program today due to weather concerns. Haha! They asked if I wanted to still stay which I said yes to because why pass up the chance? I learnt about the composting projects that Earth Matter had been doing for years, and the process behind it - which was so interesting. The compost mounds, due to natural bacterial reactions, would release heat. These heaps were steaming and when I measured the temperature, it was sitting at 160 Fahrenheit (71 degrees Celsius), which is insanely hot, even in the winter cold. They had chickens on site who would benefit from the compost heaps by catching worms. I even got to hold one for the first time and her name was Angel! I was put to work on shovelling up and bagging the refined compost which would be sent all over NY to community gardens with Green Thumb being the distributor. It was a full circle moment because of may previous activities with community gardens, I was able to see the bigger picture and different elements that would help contribute to the survival of community gardens. I really want to find communities like this in South Africa and get involved. 

The one person I was working with, David, who works for Earth Matter, told me about their very recent struggles with government funding for Earth Matter. For the last 15 years, Earth Mater would get funding from government to keep the organisation running as they fell under the sanitations sector by collecting and converting household scraps and turning them into compost which would help community gardens grow plants, fruits and vegetables all over NY allowing for Zero Waste. However, since Eric Adams has come into office, his cabinet have seen no reason to continue the funding which puts Earth Matter and their vision of a Zero Waste Island at huge risk. From what I’ve heard so far about Eric Adams, I’m really not liking him. David also shared a lot of history about Governor's Island and how it came to be. After finishing up, and thanking the team for letting me stay and help, I made my way back to the ferry and off the Island. Since I had a big gap of time until my last activity, I had planned to meet 2 people. One was Donna from The Bronx who had just come back from a trip to Johannesburg, and whom I got connected to through my mother when they met at the SGI Buddhist centre as we are all practicing buddhists. The other person was Sonia who had just come back from her fellowship in Uruguay. 

What was funny about meeting with Donna was that she suggested we go for Thai food, which coincidentally was what Nia, over a week ago, had put on my calendar to try out but I still had not done so. I was in some ways killing 2 birds with one stone, hahaha. One main takeaway from my meeting with Donna was her experience of having to deal with the transition of working and then retiring. She used to be a principal at a school for years and just recently retired, which was such a huge transition for her as she had to now find a new purpose and identity for herself outside of being a teacher & principal. And so it took her 4 years to get to a point where she’s learning new things about herself, and surprising herself by opening up to things she would have never said yes to. This made me think of my mom and how she will navigate this transition in the next couple years. I also loved how Donna’s experience coincided with my time in NY, where I was being exposed to new things and learning what’s not so much for me and what I want to do more of.

After meeting with Donna, I walked my way over to Washington Park to meet with Sonia. The huge archway when approaching the park was so beautiful and reminded me of the one in Paris. I had arrived 30 minutes earlier, so sat and people watched then started reading the book that Nancy gave me. While people watching, I noticed that there were so many young people out and about, skating, talking and doing activities together, which made sense because we were in the middle of the NYU campus buildings. Sonia and her husband arrived thankfully bringing some tea which we could all sip on and keep warm as we sat on the benches. It felt wholesome being able to make a plan to meet after having only met over zoom. We had a lovely chat for nearly 2 hours and I got to know more about her and her husband. As we got up to part ways, the sun was setting and had the sky painted in beautiful hues of pink and purple while buildings & street lights started coming on. I think this is the best sunset I’ve experienced during my time here. Sonia took a photo of me under the arches with the pink skies in the background. 

Walking back over to the apartment I could help but feel a little sad that I would be leaving this beautiful place called NY. I then prepared myself for the Gotham writing Zoom session which I interpreted as Improv but for writers. Once the session began, we were given an audio prompt, which sounded like a busy restaurant. We were given 15 minutes to come up with something and then if we wanted, we could share our writings. I wrote mine from a perspective of how the sounds made me feel and how much of a sensory overload it was, as if I was physically experiencing this as well. I didn’t share my writing but listened to other peoples pieces and wow, they were very descriptive not just in the feelings of the sounds but also creating a picture of being in a restaurant with silverware in front of them and all the people around. We were given another prompt, this time a word. We did the same thing and finished the zoom session. That was interesting and fun as I had never done Gotham writing before or even heard of it before. With a couple hours left before 9pm, I thought I could maybe squeeze in a visit to the Whitney Museum but then decided I’d rather do it tomorrow with all the other museums and galleries I would be seeing tomorrow.

[francyblogs]

HEY GUYS IT'S ME AGAIN FRANCY, AND THIS IS MY 2ND WEEK OF MY DAILY BASIS

Monday morning I immediately feel very drained and very tired even though I haven't done anything, because I'm coughing and my throat is very sore, and I forgot about the midterm examination as in I didn't really do a review because I didn't feel really feel good, but I also survived the examination even without a review and we finished the exam around 6pm, and we have prepared dinner and when we finish doing what we have to do, we watch a movie together with Ma'am Ajoy and while watching I was doing an inventory. It's Tuesday in the morning as my routine I woke up early and I take a shower and it seems like i can't go in because I'm not feeling well because of my headache and I feel like I'm going to get sick but I chose to go in, because I don't want to skip a subject, and in the afternoon I did inventory again and after that we ate and then we watched the movie again, and after that I went to the room to sleep. On the next day It's Wednesday I'm feeling tired because my cough and cold got worse as in, but I took medicine so it wouldn't get worse and after that I took inventory again and again HEHEHE. and I went to bed early because I felt like I had a fever. Hey guys It's Thursday, its our PE time and it is (gymnastic) and we did exercise and after that I'm not feeling well again because I have asthma but I can handle it because it's not too bad. Friday in the morning my body was very sore maybe because of the exercise we did yesterday, and today I was going to go home early but I didn't because Ma'am Ajoy, Ate Pat and Ma'am Sandra were leaving and they going to Naga for the congress of all SSG, and no one will be left at school and no one will look the canteen so I didn't go home, and when I came I saw the HRS students, because they were going to cook, and I was watching them while walking and I feel like I'm their supervisor HAHAHA so funny and in the afternoon I went home with Kuya Erwin. November 28 and it is Saturday, It's mira's birthday, I woke up at 7 am because kuya Erwin woke up early to take a bath and I remembered that's why he woke up early and took a bath because the Spjians basketball player had a game in the Binalay. I would like to come/watch but I can't because there is a lot to do because there is an event here at home, at 10am we clean up the messes at home and organize toys, and in the afternoon Ate Malou and I design for birthday party at around 6 Kuya Erwin's family arrived, and the children were happily playing in our mini playground here at home, while we were waiting for Kuya Erwin, we prayed the rosary first and then they came Kuya Erwin, Ma'am Ajoy and Sir Ryan, and we had dinner and while we were eating Ma'am Ajoy suddenly started talking about the game that happened earlier, she said it was cheesy like that HAHAHA. And while she was talking I was jealous because I wasn't I attended and I didn't see my crush playing basketball hahaha so funny right and after eating we chatted first and later the guests left and we rested. Sunday in the morning, there was a lot to do like cleaning the house/washing/folding clothes, and after Angel and I did all that we fell asleep because we did so much, and later ate Malou woke us up because we were going to church, and we went to church at the Basilica Minore of Our Lady of Peñafrancia and after we went to church we went to kuya Erwin's house because they said we were going to sleep here, and that's all that happened during my whole week

soooo funny because all week I have a cough and a cold haha

[francyblogsblog]

HEY GUYS IT'S ME AGAIN FRANCY, AND THIS IS MY 2ND WEEK OF MY DAILY BASIS

Monday morning I immediately feel very drained and very tired even though I haven't done anything, because I'm coughing and my throat is very sore, and I forgot about the midterm examination as in I didn't really do a review because I didn't feel really feel good, but I also survived the examination even without a review and we finished the exam around 6pm, and we have prepared dinner and when we finish doing what we have to do, we watch a movie together with Ma'am Ajoy and while watching I was doing an inventory. It's Tuesday in the morning as my routine I woke up early and I take a shower and it seems like i can't go in because I'm not feeling well because of my headache and I feel like I'm going to get sick but I chose to go in, because I don't want to skip a subject, and in the afternoon I did inventory again and after that we ate and then we watched the movie again, and after that I went to the room to sleep. On the next day It's Wednesday I'm feeling tired because my cough and cold got worse as in, but I took medicine so it wouldn't get worse and after that I took inventory again and again HEHEHE. and I went to bed early because I felt like I had a fever. Hey guys It's Thursday, its our PE time and it is (gymnastic) and we did exercise and after that I'm not feeling well again because I have asthma but I can handle it because it's not too bad. Friday in the morning my body was very sore maybe because of the exercise we did yesterday, and today I was going to go home early but I didn't because Ma'am Ajoy, Ate Pat and Ma'am Sandra were leaving and they going to Naga for the congress of all SSG, and no one will be left at school and no one will look the canteen so I didn't go home, and when I came I saw the HRS students, because they were going to cook, and I was watching them while walking and I feel like I'm their supervisor HAHAHA so funny and in the afternoon I went home with Kuya Erwin. November 28 and it is Saturday, It's mira's birthday, I woke up at 7 am because kuya Erwin woke up early to take a bath and I remembered that's why he woke up early and took a bath because the Spjians basketball player had a game in the Binalay. I would like to come/watch but I can't because there is a lot to do because there is an event here at home, at 10am we clean up the messes at home and organize toys, and in the afternoon Ate Malou and I design for birthday party at around 6 Kuya Erwin's family arrived, and the children were happily playing in our mini playground here at home, while we were waiting for Kuya Erwin, we prayed the rosary first and then they came Kuya Erwin, Ma'am Ajoy and Sir Ryan, and we had dinner and while we were eating Ma'am Ajoy suddenly started talking about the game that happened earlier, she said it was cheesy like that HAHAHA. And while she was talking I was jealous because I wasn't I attended and I didn't see my crush playing basketball hahaha so funny right and after eating we chatted first and later the guests left and we rested. Sunday in the morning, there was a lot to do like cleaning the house/washing/folding clothes, and after Angel and I did all that we fell asleep because we did so much, and later ate Malou woke us up because we were going to church, and we went to church at the Basilica Minore of Our Lady of Peñafrancia and after we went to church we went to kuya Erwin's house because they said we were going to sleep here, and that's all that happened during my whole week

soooo funny because all week I have a cough and a cold haha

[cottonheadedninnymugggins]

CROCODILE TEARS HELP ME😭😭

me when i love writing fics but can’t write essays for the life of me💆🏻‍♀️

yeah when i started the series as manga only i only rmb ppl being like omg imagine shibuya arc, it even had me raving on about it like i knew …… yeah im glad im up to date but even though i know it still hurts regardless </3

ive only been interstate n around asia for my fam and then like when i went cruise i went to some little islands aaagugghhh

hope ur having a good? night???? it’s like 10am here hahaha

OMG yeah the pain is real </3 I swear after Gojo’s death I literally got physically ill (probably from heartbreak) but wow 10 AM,, it’s 5 pm here lol but I hope you have a great morning <3<3🤸🏽‍♀️🤸🏽‍♀️🫶🏽🫶🏽

[diaryoftheunidropout]

DAY 52

This update is actually about day 51, since it's currently just a little over midnight.

I really need to get today off my chest in all its details because there is no one I can/want to tell about it. So this blog seems my best option. Just so it's a day that's recorded somewhere.

I spent the entire day with a friend of mine who doesn't live in Paris but comes here often. She is someone who has suffered and still suffers a lot, but she is truly one of the kindest and sweetest souls I know and I absolutely love her. We met up at around 10AM, so I woke up at 9AM feeling REALLY SHIT because I've been gettinbg very intense and almost constant vertigo from the brutal absence of antidepressants these past days, small side effects from the vaccine (feeling feverish, shortness of breath when making efforts), and a small cold due to the rapid switches in temperatures. All of this combined, taking into account the fact that I barely slept and not even well, gives... a very miserable me lol. Except I'd promised my friend I'd be there with her and there was no chance I was going to let her down.

So I started my day very tired and dizzy, knowing I was probably going to get home 14 hours later, although that meant being with someone I love, which I can only be very greatful for!

The cool things we did today are going to some sort of tiny... market? Like just people selling their stuff, and I found a cheap card game and those tablets you can use to draw (also very cheap). We also found some dolls we were looking for! We ate nice things at a restaurant, sat down for quite a while at Place d'Italie and laughed. My friend also went to get touch ups on her tattoo with an artist I'd seen before and she was honestly ever nicer than the first time we saw her (if that's even possible), the studio was actually inside her home and she let us play the music we wanted and we chatted about one of her tattoos (which I immediately recognized as being from one of my fav tattoo artists) and it was really cool!

So lots of good things you see. However, I feel the bad ones kind of dominated. This morning I get a text from my mom saying she cancelled her plans for the day (going to the movies and eating out). And then at some point early in the afternoon I get a message from her again saying she ended up getting out of bed because she'd met a guy on a dating app who had lost his wife to lung cancer around the same time as my mom and I lost my dad to lung cancer, and that he had a daughted living in London (thinking of it now, I want to see his daughter because life, what if she's my soulmate and we get married and shit okay sorry I'm totally insane). The point is it really hurt me to see that the only thing getting her out of bed was not the love my dad and I bear to her, all the fighting my dad's done and all the fighting I have done too, but just some random man she's never met and is just soooooo excited to meet and it's like the highlight of her day. It just hurts because I've been so incredibly sensitive about my dad lately like just writing the word dad could get me crying somehow.

Other bad thing that happened might seem shocking because why the hell would I consider this a bad moment, but at the restaurant with my friend I just started laughing hysterically over... I'm not quite sure what? I don't even remember? And it happened again later when we were sitting down in a park while watching some old memes I'd saved somewhere. But when I say hysterical laughter I don't mean like "hahaha I can't stop laughing this is funny", I mean like "I am laughing incredibly loudly and have zero control over my body right now and I am laughing so hard I am choking and actually very much in pain". Now that I think of it, it really felt like those couple of moments in my life I was so full of anger that I felt "out of my body" and just couldn't control anything anymore, except with laughter. I find it quite terrifying.

Then we saw a play that was possibly the best play I've seen in my entire life and it moved me so much I actually cried, but I still had to refrain from crying too much or too loudly in order not to have everyone mad at me or ruin my makeup, so it was just one more moment today having to keep my shit together. Also I had to get up like 10 times before the play started because people kept wanting to get to their seats, and then back to the toilet, and then back to their seats, and then they realized they had the wrong seat, and so on. Very annoying if you want my opinion. The play was still excellent though.

Then I realized I got a message from my ex landlady telling me that she hadn't replied to me earlier although she legally HAD to send me documents by a certain date, because she was busy with [blah blah insert personal life details I literally do not give a single fuck about] and she'd sent me a second email which is basically just some shitty screenshot that ""proves"" how much money I gave her so she would leave me the fuck alone except it proves absolutely nothing and does not confirm she will NEVER ask me for money ever again although she's already stolen thousands and thousands from me that my parents struggled to put aside and it got me so hysterical I became, well, hysterical in front of my friend, and then played it cool and acted like I wasn't going insane.

Then my friend and I sat down near the Eiffel Tower and we got a dozen illegal sellers in the span of 30 mins asking us over and over again if we wanted to buy their stuff, I even got a guy lying down next to me and telling me I was pretty and that I was in love with me although my friend and I kept asking him to kindly leave us alone, and then I got a guy selling roses shaking a rose right into my face while I was comfortable lying down watching the Eiffel Tower, and I just wonder, why the hell are people, especially men it seems, like this?!

And then I received a message from one of my mom's Internet friends whom she got into an argument with and blocked. Did not read the whole message but it was very overdramatic and all like "Adieu dear I shall never talk to you again" and I think that's literally SO fucking shitty of him to go and try to guiltrip a 18 year old girl into telling her mom to talk to him again, like I have my fucking mental struggles and enough shit to deal with, can't you just grow the fuck up (you're almost 50 years old) and leave me alone and deal with your own shit on your own instead of sending a lowkey cry of help to ME?

I again would love to insist on how tired, dizzy, feverish, mentally unstable, and just overall sick, I feel. Or I should say I AM.

All of this is real. I am not a lying. I am not a lier. I do not lie. I wish I could tell someone. I wish someone would listen. My uni best friend asked me how I was and I remained very vague. None of my other friends want to hear about my state. My mother is too fragile for me to tell her all of this without destroying her. My grandparents won't understand or won't be able to do much to help except perhaps guiltripping my mom into telling her she's not doing enough. My therapist listens and she's kind but she's very passive because of course this is my life but spending €50 for 45 minutes of me just saying "well I feel kind of bad" and her saying "okay" is literally so pointless, like why isn't she just giving me some words of affirmation?! She might not realize it but simply saying "I know your pain is real" would be fucking REVOLUTIONARY and instead all she tells me is "okay :)" and "oops, we're done with this session, it's time :)"... when I have made it clear that all I need is someone to say they believe me when I say I'm in pain. And she can't even tell me those words. Maybe because just like the others, she doesn't. Or she just doesn't understand my needs. Or both. I don't know. And let's not talk about doctors and psychiatrists who simply tell me I look "just fine" or refuse to listen to me when I say I have episodes that are NOT depressive episodes.

Right now I feel like I'm going through both (hypo)mania and depression. I am so incredibly sad and tired and I just want to rest in bed because I physically cannot keep up, and another part of me is motivated to try her very best to show excitement and joy and also believes in great things. Like two days ago I spent an hour staring at myself in a mirror and interviewing myself like I was a published author. And then today, as I said, I bought one of those tablets to draw because I'm like, secretly convinced I'll become a great tattoo artist, or the next great YA author with famous graphic novels, or I don't know.

I think as soon as my makeup is off I might bawl. I just want to sleep. Please let me rest.

[tiredbiostudent]

I know I’ve been complaining abt feeling blegh, and it’s kinda hard to feel like you’re having a fresh start to the semester when it’s all online, but I switched into two classes I was waitlisted for and now am pretty excited (?) for my courses this sem, even though I realize I say that every semester and it always bites me in the ass. I’ve been in a funk for the last month at least so here’s hoping I can shift out of it this week ://