#it's not enough but by god they love me and that's more than most people get. it has to count for something.

[natalienomad]

What an absolute dipshit ass take from @nothingbegetsnothing

My blood family wants me to come home for the holidays, yeah they aren't bigotted at all, they didn't nearly beat me to death when I came out to them. Or stalked me and my wife for most of our marriage. Yeah they totttttally love me and will be there for me when I need them. Yeah.

And if you think familial love starts and stops at blood you're a fuckin moron. What about adoptive families? What about the kindly old neighbor down the street that takes you in after seeing what your parents do to you? Are these people Not Good Enough for you? What about In laws? Mine love me, and have specifically stated I'm welcome even if my wife leaves me. Cause I'm a fucking Joy. Do Yours hate you? Probably, with that shit ass attitude.

I spent 20 God damned years Surviving my time with them. One was a narcissist that didn't give a shit whether I lived or died, Just whether I Embarrassed them or not. The other was a veteran with PTSD issues that would hit me or throw things at me and use his time at war as an excuse. My blood brother? A self admitted Nazi, I spent 20 years trying to convince the fucker that black people deserved to live. Yeah I should Totally go "home" to that. They want me back for the SOLE purpose of abusing me back into silence and obedience, and Nothing More.

It's Christmas for cucks sake, right? I spent time with my in laws. I spent time with the people that actually love me. Not the ones that birthed me. And if I'm truly alone at the end of all that? Homeless? Dead In a ditch? That's still better being FREE, than spending another Minute wasting my breath on people that truly don't care for anyone but Themselves.

You talk a lot of shit about cult recruitment tactics, you know who uses those the most? People who want to isolate you back to your family. The people you're trying to shove back there? Are actively seeking out Others to gain a wider life experience of love. That's the opposite of that isolationist cult tactic. But we're the problem, right? Maybe get off your high horse and suck your dad's dick a little more.

To the trans people who are forced to be back home with bigoted families these holidays: please know that you are loved. The real you, not what you do to survive through time with your family. One day you will be free o.e day you won't have to hide who you are, and one day you can cut these people out of your life if you want. Just hold on, I promise you that you'll get through this. I love you. Stay strong.

[lucyrose191]

CALM IN THE STORM| H.SPECTER

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Wife!reader

Summary: The entire firm knew how temperamental Harvey Specter was and whenever he was in one of those moods, they knew it was going to be a painful day, until they found the only thing that could calm him down.

Warnings: none.

Suits Master List

Harvey Specter could be described as many things; arrogant, rude, uptight, stone-faced and most certainly hot headed. It wasn’t hard to piss him off but it was certainly difficult to calm him down and once his mood was ruined the entire day was doomed.

It was quite frankly anyone’s worst day whenever Harvey wasn’t in a good mood because they always took the brunt of it and there was no way to fix it.

Or so they thought.

If there was one thing anyone would say about Donna Paulsen, it was that she knew everything, which meant she knew exactly what would calm Harvey Specter down.

His wife.

Y/N Specter wasn’t a lawyer, she was an aerospace engineer which was just as, if not more impressive than being a lawyer and Harvey Specter worshipped the ground she walked on.

After watching Mike Ross leave Harvey’s office with near tears streaming down his face, Donna had enough and picked up the phone.

Y/N’s attention was momentarily drawn away from her computer at the sound of her office phone ringing but continued looking through data as she answered "Y/N Specter speaking."

A sigh of relief was heard through the line before Donna’s voice filtered through. "Y/N! Thank god! I don’t know what the hell is up Harvey’s arse today but he’s nearly made Mike cry three times and it’s only 10 o’clock, can you please come and save us," her husband’s secretary practically begged.

Y/N smiled, leaning back in her chair, work forgotten. This wasn’t the first time she had received a phone call like this and she found it hilarious just how much her husband built within people, he was a real softy around her.

Luckily for her, she had a lot of freedom in her role, she had proven herself for many years before that she was now able to come and go from work as she pleased, being fully trusted that no matter how often she was hear her work was always done.

"I won’t be long," she said before hanging up, not wasting time in grabbing her things to make her way to her husband’s workplace.

As she walked towards her husbands office, Y/N bit down her laughter as she saw the obvious signs of relief on everyone’s faces as she walked by.

"Y/N you have no idea how happy I am to see you," Donna greeted her as she approached her desk, "He’s miserable in there."

Y/N looked through the glass into her husbands office and found that the redhead was telling the truth, the heavy frustration on her husband’s face was hard to miss.

She gave Donna a smile before making her way into Harvey’s office.

The man sighed heavily hearing his office door open, not looking up from the case file open in front of him. “I thought I said I didn’t want to be disturbed.”

Y/N smiled, “and does that include me?”

Harvey’s head snapped up at the sweet, smooth tone of his wife’s voice, feeling the tension in his shoulders deflate just from her presence. "Y/N?”

“Hey handsome." She smirked slightly, walking around his desk, he turned in his chair just as she stood in front of him.

He looked up at her in the same way he always did, there was nothing but pure love in those eyes, “What are you doing here?"

Y/N smiled lovingly at him, stepping forward to stand between his legs, wrapping her arms around the back of his head. “You’re scaring your colleagues.”

Harvey rolled his eyes, sitting up to rest his hands on her waist. “They’re ridiculous.”

Y/N hummed, “maybe, but how could I deny the chance to come and see you?”

“Fair point, I can understand the struggle of not seeing my handsome face for a couple hours,” Harvey replied, dead serious, smiling as his wife rolled her eyes and gave him a gentle slap to the shoulder.

“What’s got you all worked up, darling?” She asked.

Harvey released a deep breath, sparing a glance to the case sitting open on his desk. “I didn’t even want to represent the guy but Jessica knows him, I know him to be a complete prick."

Y/N thought for a moment before inviting herself further into his space, forcing her way into his lap, not that he was complaining, he just tightened his grip around her, leaning back into his chair. “Well, how about I treat you to lunch?” She proposed.

Harvey smiled tiredly. “I’d love that, baby." He replied, earning a bright smile from his wife who leaned forward to press a loving kiss to his lips before standing back up, pulling him up with her,

“Come on then, we’ve kept Ray waiting long enough.”

The smile on Harvey’s face was a stark contrast to the frustration he had been hounding earlier and it was all down the angel in front of him who wouldn’t even allow him to grab his coat, too persistent in dragging him through his office door.

As they made their way out of the building, they paid no attention to the uncomfortable weight that seemed to lift from everyone’s shoulders.

One thing for sure is that the entire firm were relieved for the existence of Y/N Specter.

[cocoamide]

YOU'RE MY WISHLIST! ♡

⟡ synopsis ─ gojo satoru's the man who seems to be everywhere you go, whether it be within the comfort of your own home or miles away from the place. well, guess what happens when you show up looking a little too fine at your college's annual christmas eve party?

꣑ৎ content ─ MDNI, brother'sbsf!satoru / collegesenior!satoru x afab!reader, reader is suguru's younger sister, no use of y/n, reader can't escape him, suggestive content, reader is in love w/ gojo (and vice versa), intentional usage of lowercase, usage of pet names e.g baby, pretty, good girl, etc., smut in the form of fingering, and probably more idk

◖word count — 2.6k

☆ credits ─ live laugh love @anitalenia 4 the gorgeous divider <3 no specific inspiration for this fic, just felt like writing one fueled by my christmas spirit (i have never celebrated christmas in my life, so if u caught me lacking, no u didn't!)

꩜ author's note ─ first fic ever & ofc it's ft. my man !! i'm not v satisfied with this work and it was really rushed towards the end, so feedback is much appreciated :3 merry xmas to all those celebrating and happy holidays ♡ title's from "a nonsense christmas" by sabrina carpenter :3

when you left home for college, you were certain you’d outrun the real-life horrors of your past— your parents' scoldings, the shitty food served at your school's cafeteria, the fake people you were surrounded by, and most importantly, your brother's best friend, gojo satoru, who just seemed to get finer with every single passing day.

the man was, for some reason, genetically white-haired all over. yeah, he had albinism, but god, the sight of him was no less than breath-taking. his sparkling, cerulean orbs, which glowed mesmerizingly both under the moonlight and the sun, seemed more and more enchanting with each passing moment. as the years went by with him by your brother's side, you told yourself to look away, refusing to acknowledge the feelings that flickered inside whenever you saw him. you did whatever you could to let go of them— tried to distract yourself with the shittiest of boyfriends, avoided him at school, locked yourself up in your room whenever he came over to hang out with your brother, you name it.

however, it seemed that luck hated, no, despised your embrace no matter how much you yearned for it, considering how the menace was always hovering around, inserting himself into your life at the most inconvenient moments. you're rehearsing for a school play in an empty classroom? the next thing you know, he has an arm propped around your shoulder and smiling at you in the most stupidly handsome way ever with a lollipop in his mouth as he asks you to just... practice with him around. oh, you're trying to get him off of you now? he'll steal your script before you can escape him and raise his hand up as high in the air as possible so you can't reach it. "hey, give it back!" you exclaim, only to be met by a smug smirk on his face and the most annoying "nuh-uh." he completely refuses unless you promise to not kick him out until the practice session is over.

you're walking back home with your brother, suguru? oops, gojo is there too! he's ruffling your hair no matter how pissed you get and yell at him; he only finds joy and pleasure in seeing you in this enraged state. whether he was a sadist, masochist, or simply insane, you did not know.

so, starting college felt like stepping into freedom. no more conversations centered around satoru, no more being so pissed you lose your voice from screaming, and no more late-night sob sessions everytime he got a new girlfriend.

however, it seemed that you'd forgotten that the stars didn't quite align for you, and the universe had decided to remind you of that very fact by ensuring that satoru received enough distinctions to be able to transfer universities. oh, and of course, the one he'd chosen just had to be the one you'd decided to spend the next 4 years of your life in. it wasn't until after you’d moved into your dorm and started your classes that you found out.

the first time you saw him around campus, you were freaked the fuck out. nevertheless, you simply assumed he was visiting a friend or relative and dismissed the sight.

however, much to your dismay, you discovered that he was, in fact, a senior at your college—a 2nd year, to be exact. it wouldn't be an understatement to assume you nearly had a heart attack when you found out, considering how this was the same guy who used to have a 2.6 gpa back in high school. when did he even start taking his studies seriously and lock in hard enough to meet the criteria and eligibility for your university, one of the most prestigious in the entire country? instead of rooting for you, fate just had to be your biggest hater.

every single time you saw him around, gojo would come up to you to exchange greetings and obviously, tease you about the most embarrassing things from your past while his obnoxious fangirls stared you the fuck down, wondering why he's so close to you even though you're just a freshman who should have nothing to do with him.

what surprised you more, however, was that you sometimes shared the same sentiment as them because you were definitely never this close with satoru. not in all the years your brother used to hang out with him, or all the times you'd seen each other on family dinners. sure, he'd teased you plenty, but he had no real concern or curiosity towards you. you found him walking you to classes, treating you to coffee and meals, buying you all the snacks you could ever need during exam preparations and so much more that you could never even list down.

and worst of all, the feelings you'd so desperately pushed away in the past had now creeped their way back into your heart and embedded every inch of your soul even deeper.

it struck you then—satoru’s actions might not be out of pure obligation. that would’ve been far too simple, too detached for someone like satoru. maybe, just maybe, there was something more to it, something unspoken lingering beneath it all. you couldn’t say for sure if it was intentional or not, but whatever it was, it felt personal, like you mattered in a way that went beyond the promises he'd made to your elder brother and family.

but still, you couldn’t help but wonder if it was all just in your head. satoru’s actions, the way he treated you—it didn’t necessarily mean what you thought it did. it could be nothing—satoru’s actions didn’t have to mean anything. maybe you were just fooling yourself, letting your feelings cloud your judgment. so, you buried them as deep as you could, pushing them aside, telling yourself that letting go was the only way to protect yourself from the uncertainty. it was easier to convince yourself that you were just being delusional instead of facing what could be very real.

although, you do seriously question your latter supposition at your annual college christmas eve party when satoru, dressed in the sexiest 3-piece navy blue pinstripe suit with a black tie, has you pinned against the door of the nearest bathroom. if haven't had the opportunity to pay enough attention to his luminous, cerulean eyes up until now, you do at this very moment when he's staring at you like a predator would at it's prey.

"satoru," you let out a breath you weren't aware of holding, "what are you doing?" gojo, whose gaze had shifted down to your lips, let out a chuckle. "oh, so it's satoru now," he murmured, his hand pushing your hair behind your ear. "fine, 'toru..," you pronounce, going back to the nickname you'd started calling him during the while you'd spent with him. "that's more like it." his eyes meet yours again, conveying the desire and thirst that stirred within him— for how long, nobody knows.

the air around you two was thicker than usual, laced with tension as well as something… else. "you still haven't answered my question." upon your words, the white-haired man's face broke out into a cupid-induced smile, the most beautiful you'd ever seen. "well," his right thumb traced the outline of your lips so light as if you'd break from further pressure, "i thought you looked beautiful." what he says renders you speechless, your throat gone dry and your cheeks turning the prettiest shade of rose (in his eyes, at least.) "you always do, but even more so today." and if you weren't already a flustered mess, you would most certainly be now.

your reaction only draws a smirk on his face, and he decides to tease you a little more. "so, on that note, what do you think i'm doing?," his voice lowers as his hand traces its way down to your neck. "i... uh- i don't know... you tell me." satoru grins, only wanting to push you further.

"yeah? how about i show you instead?" and a mere instant later, his lips come crashing down on yours— you couldn't say you hadn't been expecting or anticipating it, but absolutely nothing could prepare you for the way his warm and impossibly soft lips felt against yours. initially, you froze, and you came to realise that all the possibilities you'd once ignored were now very much real.

it wasn't a bad thing— no, nowhere near it, maybe even one of the best that could ever happen to you. however, it did feel like too much of a development to be able to process in a matter of seconds.

upon the realisation that you hadn't responded to his advances, satoru pulled back from the kiss, seeming rather puzzled. "was i wrong?" he inquires, voice lower and deeper than it normally would be.

the melodic sound of his voice is what breaks your trance and serves as your call back to reality. you wanted to say no, reach for his collar, get on your tip-toes and lean in to kiss him, but you were stuck in place. you couldn't find your voice or your words, and it felt like your heels were superglued to the tiles of the bathroom floor.

if it hadn't already been obvious, you'd been yearning for this moment for god knows how long, and now that it was handed to you on a sliver platter, you couldn't simply pass up on it. being well aware of the fact that this encounter could change your and satoru's relationship for either the better or the worse, you took a deep breath, cupped the sides of his face, and tilted your head just enough to be able to kiss the man. your hands gripped the fabric of his shirt in an attempt to pull him even closer, if that was possible.

being the way he is, satoru smiled into the kiss and lowered his hands to your hips. he could tell you were pouring each and every emotion from both the past and the present, and of course, he was doing the same.

it was inevitable, really— now that you could feel his skin against yours, it wasn't too difficult to put the pieces together and figure out that this was all bound to happen, already having been inked into the wondrous book of fate.

and so, for the first time in all the years you'd spent alongside satoru, you could say that the universe was, in fact, rooting for you. the way gojo's lips moved against yours, the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the world when he pulled away, the way the both of you heavily panted but still chased each other's warmth again barely seconds later, are more than enough confirmation.

"no, you weren't," you reply, feeling giddier than you ever had. "i wasn't what?" his hands caress your cheek with a carefulness that was almost unlike him, and your heart felt like it was about to beat out of your chest (in the best way possible.) "you weren't wrong."

"and i'm still not wrong if i do this?" his large hand reached under your clothes and wandered up to your waist, resting over the skin of the region. "or this?" his mouth had reached your neck, leaving kisses-turned-bites all over, which were sure to transform into hickeys.

"no... no, you're not," you let out breathlessly, unable to escape the fire coursing through your veins at the slightest touch. you wanted more, so much more, and satoru was the only one who could fulfil your needs— not that you would have it any other way.

"you sure, pretty?" the corner of his mouth went up, resulting in a lopsided grin— he was obviously teasing you, that was just the way he was and always had been.

"uh-huh," you nod to reaffirm your statement. "good girl," he breathes out, only contributing to the echoes in the parts of your body which ached for him so badly.

his long fingers played and toyed with the hem of your dress, as if to test the waters. when you didn't resist, his hand sneaked up your thigh, gently fondling the skin.

despite the confidence in his actions, he observed every expression on your face cautiously, ensuring that nothing he did hurt you or made you uncomfortable in any way. when you show no signs on unease but instead only desire, he goes on to satisfy and soothe your needs.

his fingers traced their way up your inner thighs and lurked over the already soaked fabric of your underwear, bringing about a chuckle from satoru. "so needy for me already, hm?" he remarks, as if his own pants weren't tightening upon the observation.

"shut up, 'toru..." you're trying to regain your composure and keep up an attitude, but to no avail. the fact that he has you exactly where he wants you isn't helping, either. you're even trying to avoid his gaze, but the way you can feel his presence everywhere makes it impossible to do so— besides, he's making you face him again using his index finger and thumb to hold your chin in between, as he whispers out a "look at me, baby."

and when you do, you have to let out a gasp at the sight of him— his disheveled hair which was perfectly tamed at the start of the night, his half-lidded eyes as he looks at you like you're his entire world and his lips that are now slightly bruised and swollen from the kisses you've shared. it was beyond enough to get you all the more hot and bothered.

oh, but that's not the only factor contributing to the sounds you're making— it's also the way he's pulled your panties to the side and is currently tracing your slit ever so slowly. "want more, princess?" nearly mocking tone.

you hardly even manage to let out a hum before his slender fingers are running over the most sensitive bundle of nerves, eliciting a moan from you. your eyes roll all the way back when one of his digits slides inside you just a moment later— you'd never been this sensitive, but it seems that was going to be entirely different with satoru.

he added one after the other, and now, three of his freakishly large fingers were pumping in and out of you relentlessly— he was so good with them, you could practically taste your orgasm about to wash over you.

"'m close, satoru," you whimper out almost pathetically, and his fingers are going even deeper now, hitting the spots you'd never even dreamt of reaching on your own. "yeah? is my princess gonna cum for me?" his voice is rough and he's groaning as if he's the one receiving the pleasure.

you can only nod as your arousal overwhelms you, white ropes of cum spurting out from your throbbing hole with one final thrust of his fingers. his entire hand was covered in your fluids, which he brought up to his mouth to be able to savor the sweetness of your juices on his tongue. god, he was an obsessed freak when it came to you.

"ew, satoru! why would you do that?" you hold back a giggle, expressing faux disgust at his actions. he only kisses you in response instead of using his words, making sure you get to taste what he'd drawn out of you as well.

"you think suguru's gonna be mad?" he asks, obviously amused at the idea of your brother enraged when he finds out what you and satoru have done. "oh yeah, definitely." he sweetly presses yet another kiss to your lips.

"if it's at the expense of me getting everything i wished for, i don't care, babe."

@cuntphoric :33

[dammit-tazmuir]

@grievingbovine I am always happy to gush about Paul ;w;

Also I feel like... I'm not sure if it's more "codependency isn't always bad" or "codependency is a term we've grown to use too liberally when what should actually be the defining factor isn't the behaviors involved but whether or not those are actually hurting the people involved" or something in between or adjacent to that. It also feels like there might be kinda two definitions people use interchangeably? One being the more medical term and the other a looser thing of like, deeply dependent on each other.

But semantics aside I know what you mean, and yeah.

It is, generally speaking, unhealthy to be SO dependent on a SPECIFIC person that you can't live without them. Cam and Pal post-explosion had a very unique situation, whereas for most cases in real life, it's better to at least like... need SOMEONE, a purpose, a cause, but also be capable of seeking a new one if you lose that, after time to process and grief. A Camilla whose whole life revolved around Palamedes but didn't get him back learning to live again for Nona, as a hypothetical, or Harrow who would not let herself survive alone but can live for God and for Gideon and for Alecto and for the memory of those lost to conceive her and who may find other purposes still. Ofc no one is arguing Harrow is healthy about that, but like, if you CAN'T find an internal sense of worth, a purely external one is still infinitely better and healthier than none!

It feels very silly but a straight up life-changing thing for me as someone who does the same shit was the anime Gurren Lagann throwing around the phrase, "believe in the me who believes in you." Over time it morphed into "believe in the you that I believe in", and ultimately into having genuinely self-assurance, but taking even one or two of those steps is like... YEAH? Yeah! You know? External validation can be so meaningful and powerful, and isn't antithetical to internal by any means. If you can find it in even a handful of different sources, even better. A thing I try to tell people a lot when it comes to mental health too is you don't have to Get Better to get BETTER. It's not "you're unhealthy and must be fixed" or "you're 100% healthy in all ways". Less unhealthy and more functional than you were is amazing and to be celebrated actually!!!

But at the same time?

Ya know, no, I agree, I DON'T think it's a bad thing to need to NOT be ALONE. I understand the importance of being capable of surviving alone, at least long enough to seek new connections. And living for a person or cause is always easier than dying for them ("you could have lived for her, but you didn't know how"...), especially if you're living for their memory after they're gone, but people should try to do it anyway! But to just..... want to be devoted to someone? To thrive on supporting or caring for other people???

That's not what I'd call "toxic codependency", that's humans being a social species. Hell, that's looking at stories and seeing how many supporting characters are vital to helping a hero succeed and deciding "that sounds awesome actually! Not everyone needs to be the hero, I would love to be a supporting character!" Especially when you're not losing sight of your own needs in the process.

Like... Sacrifice and martyr mentality can be horrible destructive things that do more harm than good, but sacrifice is also objectively a major way people show love. Parents doing without a little more to make sure their kids get something nice, someone doing a chore they don't like because they know their partner hates it more, etc. The difference between "my needs aren't important, I'm not important, I'll always prioritize others because I don't take care of myself in general" and "I have weighed the pros and cons and decided that I can handle this and wish to put someone else first in this situation" is not always apparent from the outside but it's an extremely important distinction. There's a difference between being needlessly reckless and hard on yourself versus making a decision to achieve an end you want even though it costs you something.

Cam trying to hide how rough carrying Pal was on her wasn't her being needlessly reckless, it was her being a stubborn bitch who knows she's tough as hell. If anything people have more grounds to criticize her going against Pal's interests and wishes by not giving him information he needed to make properly informed decisions! To think that he was in any way taking advantage of her when she'd have found a way to kick his ass if he'd tried to force her to stop is wild lmao. (Not to mention Pal literally killing himself— he was still Around but objectively dead all the same!— in the "dying for someone is the cruelest thing you could do to them" book. Like he ain't making big sacrifices fueled by his love for and trust in her too smh.)

And honestly? Yeah that does sound like the kind of thing that could save the world. Our world would be a better place with less people striving to be main characters and more people eager to support each other. More people should be saying "No you will let me help you, you son of a bitch. Don't you dare tell me it's Too Much." >:( So many people are afraid of Being A Burden but more people need to understand— from the perspective of the person with that fear and as friends wishing to help someone who has that fear— that only the person offering help can decide what is A Burden to them! It's not the other person's decision to make!

Palamades didn't have a right to tell Camilla not to push herself to keep him around when that was her choice, and anyone fearing their loved ones sacrifice too much for them don't have a right to tell them to love them less, either. Sometimes— often, really— the alternative is worse. And part of me has to wonder if some people are averse to acknowledging that because if they did, then they'd have to acknowledge that letting someone else help you can be actively beneficial to them, and constantly refusing to ask for or accept help is in turn actively depriving them of something that would help them too. <.< Too bad everyone, gotta let people love you.

Locked tomb hot takes:

Insisting that the birth of Paul is only a tragedy because of the uneven power dynamics between Palamedes and Camilla as Necro and Cav invalidates Camillas autonomy and undermines her as a character capable of making her own decisions. It also undermines Palamedes constantly checking for consent. He understands more than most that there is an uneven power dynamic and actively works to respect her autonomy as much as he can while also respecting their bond/positions as necro and cav.

In a world where those who identify as men have no natural power over those who identify as women or neither, we can not apply the same cisheteronormative expectations of male behavior to male characters.

Camilla made every. Single. Choice. Willingly. She had reasons for it, and Palamedes respected that more than readers seem to. We get plenty of examples.

"What would you do if you discovered Camilla was a murderer?”

“Help her bury the body,” said Palamedes promptly.

“Sextus.”

“I mean it. If Camilla wants someone dead,” he said, “then far be it from me to stand in her way. All I can do at that point is watch the bloodshed and look for a mop. One flesh, one end, and all that.”

GtN chapter 30

NtN chapter 17

The relationship between these two may be codependent, but it's predicated on trust and consent. The whole way through. This is the life Cam wants to live. Becoming Paul was what *she wanted*.

I find it strange that some people think they know what's best for her more than she does, just because she's a cavalier.

[matrixbearer2024]

The more I think about it the more I realize how different my three takes on Ford are, three being how I see and write him as close to canon as possible- my time lord twins AU and my modernity AU. Just a cumulation of how many things can significantly change how a character is and I didn't notice by how much until I was talking about it with a friend and things made a surprising amount of sense. Case and point, this phrase!

"You're a good man."

There's three replies to that with how I understand Ford's character and please forgive me for rambling about this shit because I REALLY love picking up this man and dissecting him into atoms maybe I should make a youtube video-

Anyway, first off- canon!

"I try my best."

I genuinely think that after all of the things Ford's done, forgiveness is a barrier but not something impossible. In canon, ultimately he tries to make mends and he is atoning. For somebody who can hold a grudge for that long, I would think having your own faults must be hell on earth to live through as well. You can't exactly forgive yourself and you can only give as much as you have.

That's kind of the whole point to the series' ending in my mind. He just becomes more painfully aware of himself and the people around him not in the paranoid sense but just- how he is percieved or the consequences of his actions. He believes he can be good and is trying. Hence that response. Stanford's not refusing the idea, but he's not outright accepting it either because he's still working towards it.

Who said an old dog can't learn new tricks? Next!

"You don't know what you're talking about."

In my time lord twins AU, Stanford's hero complex and obsession with being special is cranked up stupidly high! On the run from Bill all across the multiverse he stumbles upon Gallifrey and realizes the state they're in is pretty damn precarious thanks to the Daleks and the Time Lords at WAR. In his mind at the time, all he could think of was saving as many people as he could.

Honestly, nobody would want to be in a war and frankly if it wasn't for the Time War and his Time Lord mentor things would likely be the same as canon. Ford believed too much that he was meant for great things and bit off more than he could chew!

Now carrying the title of the doctor, he doesn't believe he is a good man. He outright refuses it. A good man wouldn't have blood on his hands, a good man wouldn't have entire planets and civilizations kneeling at the mention of his name. A good man is respected, but that respect isn't born out of fear.

Stanford as the Doctor refuses this. He is not a good man. He damn well tries to be, but he knows not even forever could mend his mistakes and sins. He walks among the destruction of his own making, and he just lives with it.

Pretty depressing! Okay, let's look at something happier!

"I'm glad you think so. Thank you."

In the modernity AU, Ford hasn't done many if not most of the regrets that his counterparts often have. Yes he bickers with Stan a lot but it's never something that tears them apart, they could be having a word war over lunch but at the end of the day they're best friends again.

Ford still has his sense of justice and strong morals but in this case, it's not something he regrets and he doesn't exactly develop a hero complex because he doesn't believe he is special. He doesn't have that disparity with Stan and fundamentally that changes a lot of how he thinks.

It also helps that growing up, he's been humbled repeatedly by his brother or his peers. In this AU, he's always kept on his toes because the edge he has is only competitive enough against the many who are more than willing to work themselves to the bone for the same level of achivement.

If somebody tells him he's good, Stanford is just glad that's the perception of him and reacts accordingly. He's not often good at recieving compliments or god forbid flirting his poor brain can't keep up- but this much he is just thankful for the acknowledgement.

Tell me your thoughts or what you think about all this HAHAHAHA

[sugaredoleander]

i say this with love. house fanfic writers, if you ever want me to beta something for medical accuracy, i'll fucking do it no questions asked

[todayisafridaynight]

YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABT KIRYU HONESTLY

I’ve ranted to friends before abt how Kiryu is just genuinely so stupid that it comes of as dick-ish and inconsiderate to the people around him ESPECIALLY majima like?? He absolutely knows majima would walk through hell for Kiryu and takes full advantage of that in the worst ways and I don’t even think he fully realizes that that’s what he’s doing. Like please I love kazumaji as much as the next person but really only at a very specific point in time when they were both at their least fucked up gsgdfdf (kiwami 1 obv)

All is to say I agree please put the whole rgg fandom in an intro to literature class I think they’d greatly benefit gsgdf

kiryu is one of my favorite characters BECAUSE he's just so ass backwards. like On Paper he's a good guy: left the yakuza and is trying to live a normal life, has an orphanage and takes care of kids etc etc. but then you like. ACTUALLY look into him and its so funny.. he's such a dick and he doesn't even know and i love him. he just wants to do what he thinks is right and SOMETIMES he's right but his judgement also puts other people in peril (i.e. majima and daigo)

[beerok23]

Excerpt from Chapter 6 - The Smithes

“So, you’d rather spend the rest of your life cultivating a platonic friendship with the man who’s most definitely your soulmate?” “If that’s my only option, yes.” Oh, God. Aziraphale really believed this bullshit. Maybe this time Maggie needed a more brazen approach. She closed her eyes and took a deep sigh to muster up the strength she needed for her next words, “Aziraphale Fell, you are a complete IDIOT if you think that Anthony J. Crowley doesn’t love you back. That man has been head over heels for you for five years, honestly, how can you not see? I don’t care how you do it, just TALK TO HIM!” Aziraphale pouted, “Nina’s having a bad influence on you.” “Thank God!” Maggie retorted. “I’m serious, Az. Have you got any idea how many times Crowley has asked me about you at work? ‘Oh, Maggie, does Aziraphale like this book?’ ‘Hey, Mags, do you happen to know if Aziraphale is already planning to go see this play?’ ‘Maggie, can you find me this Shostakovich record for Aziraphale?’ – He’s so obvious, and it infuriates me that you two aren’t together yet!” Aziraphale looked flabbergasted. Oh, so he never knew about this? “But– the other night–” “Forget it, will you?” Maggie raised her voice again. “Have you considered that maybe he was just as embarrassed as you were? As scared as you?” Aziraphale seemed to ponder on her last words for a moment. “Oh, Maggie.” He finally spoke. “I think you might be right. It’s time I stop living in fear and try to be brave. I need to tell him that our friendship isn’t enough for me anymore. That I wish we could have… something more.” Maggie was so taken by her attempt at helping Aziraphale that she got very irritated when people started going back and forth behind them. Someone was going back inside after their cigarette break (right now, Maggie would do literally anything for a hit) while others were getting outside to take their place. “And what about Brown?” Aziraphale snorted, “I have a feeling that Brown already knows that I’m hopelessly devoted to him. I did so little to hide it. It’s time he understands that I love him more than anything in this world.” Once again, Maggie heard the door opening and closing behind them. But she didn’t care anymore, because Aziraphale had just come to the conclusion he should have reached approximately 1800 days before. “Oh my God, this is so exciting I want to cry!” She jumped, her voice all squeaky. “You’re really doing this?” Aziraphale beamed at her, “I am. And you know what? So are you.” Maggie’s good mood changed drastically, “I am what now?” “You’ll tell Nina that you love her. And I know she’ll say it back.” Maggie lost all of her confidence, “Wh-Why are you sure she’ll say it back?” Aziraphale just shrugged, “Because it’s Christmas. And at Christmas you tell the truth.”

Betaed by @hermiola 💛💛💛

TAG LIST @firephoenix2305 @on1occasionfork  @moralsofanalleycatsposts  @captainblou @bellisima-writes @shadesofecclescakes @ineffablerainstorm @pookasluagh @somewhere-in-wales @missunderstoodlyrics

The Grass is Always Greener - Ch. 1

It’s almost Christmas in Whickber Street, a quiet neighborhood in the little town of Tadfield. Mr Brown sees the upcoming holiday as the perfect chance to throw a party to impress Mr Fell, the charming bookseller who lives next door. He must deal with Mr Crowley, though, an annoying astronomer who moved to Tadfield five years prior and became best friends with Mr Fell. Mr Crowley and Mr Fell both secretly wish that their relationship was something more, but they are two idiots, so they keep on pining for each other under the scrutiny of Comma, Crowley’s very insightful cat. ~ A Good Omens Christmas AU ~

A huge shout out to my Beta @hermiola 💛💛💛

For @pookasluagh, @ineffablerainstorm and @somewhere-in-wales

Excerpt from Ch. 1 - Utterly Ridiculous

“It’s the most — wonderful Christmas instalment I’ve ever seen, Crowley.” Mr Brown tried to ignore the fact that his response was coming along with the chorus of Somebody To Love – and was that a blush on Mr Fell’s face? “How did you build this up on your own? I’m pretty sure this wasn’t here yesterday.” Mr Fell looked extremely impressed. And also in awe. How Mr Crowley hadn’t realised that their neighbour was obviously enamoured of his presence was a mystery worthy of being studied. “Oh. Well, uhm. You know. Yeah, mmm, I just… I worked on it last night.” “Sounds like an impossible job for only one person,” Mr Fell noticed. “Not impossible, no. Just… intricate.” “I didn’t picture you as a modern music lover, Mr Fell.” Mr Brown interjected, trying to spark his interest (to no avail), but sparking one of Mr Crowley’s infamous glares, instead. “Oh, well, I’m not a fan of… bebop, per se,” Mr Fell elucidated, immediately thwarting Mr Crowley’s attempt to retort, “But I’ve become quite accustomed to Queen. Sometimes it feels like it’s the only music that Crowley’s car likes playing.” Mr Brown ignored the fact that Mr Fell was talking about an inanimate vintage Bentley as if it were a sentient being. “It’s rock, Aziraphale, for god’s sake!” Mr Crowley immediately moved his tongue in his mouth as if he was trying to deal with the lingering of a very bad taste. “And to be fair… it is a bit loud, my dear.” Oh, Mr Brown would have given an arm to be called that. But he was already sadly and pathetically aware of the fact that the possessive adjective only applied to a scrawny-man-in-black. Another thing that the idiot hadn’t realised yet, apparently. Perfect, now the idiot was smiling that smug smirk of his. Mr Crowley manifested a remote control from a pocket of his far too light jacket (it was December, how could he cope with going around almost undressed?!) and pressed a combination of buttons. The music changed, and Queen gave way to a very soft and mellow piano track. Mr Fell recognised it immediately and put his hands on his cheeks. Brown couldn’t tell if they’d just reddened for the cold or because he was blushing. “Oh, Crowley! It’s Debussy.” Brown witnessed impotent as Mr Fell gawked at Mr Crowley with that look in his eyes. “I asked the project designer to add a second combination to play at night. I didn’t want Freddie’s vocals to keep the whole neighbourhood perpetually awake for a month.” “Debussy’s Clair de lune is my favourite piano piece.” Mr Fell’s hand was metaphorically on his heart, now. “I know,” came Mr Crowley’s bashful answer. Mr Brown sighed in exasperation. You see, one could only stand a certain dose of languid looks of understanding between these two idiots. And when you were forced to witness such knowing looks day after day, after day… Well, let’s just say you would have developed a slight idiosyncrasy towards redheads too.

[stellardeer]

I can always tell who has and hasnt worked in the service industry before getting a white collar job cause if someone else who DOES work retail is complaining about their job they'll be like "that doesn't sound right, you should talk to management/hr/a lawyer" or whatever, whereas people who have been in the trenches before will be like "that sounds fucked up, we should bomb them"

[spinecurlingmice]

didn't realize how bad my environment affected my mental state until i left it . ... november has been suspiciously nice to me and I've been having less thoughts abt how little I matter and wow. I've been like having more collective good days than I've had like all year.

[medicinemane]

There's honestly... just so many people, just so so so so so many people in this world where I'm like... aren't you people tired of this fucking... you know, I was going to call them clowns but that's really disrespectful to clowns, these people could never get their face on an egg...

Anyway, aren't you tired of this childish jackass? Don't you just want to ignore them and never have to hear about them again? If we just ignored them they legitimately would go away... don't you want that?

And this applies to... just ungodly amounts of people, from jake paul to even elon musk (just... don't touch his shit, he'll run out of money eventually with how bad he is with it), to just... name an annoying famous person and you'll name someone I've literally forgotten right now that I could never have to hear about again if people would just ignore them (unless they committed crimes, investigators are welcome to pay attention while gathering a case)

Yet the answer's always "no, we're paying so much attention to them!" and I'm just like... why? Why would you watch jake paul box? I heard about that and was like "he's still doing that shit?", and yet I guess it made a lot of money yet again and it's just like... ignore him

These people could go away, and yet

[yanmagotchi]

Can you walk all the way around it? Mercury - NO. You'd think so but it's way too close to the sun, it's too hot, you'd probably need a big umbrella and they've never taken one to space. Venus - NO. It's basically the same size as earth, incredibly boring because no fun landmarks, way too foggy, huge risk of getting lost. Earth - Yes, BUT. You can walk all the way around it, but the problem here is that other people have already done it. Sure it's possible, but nobody's gonna care. Mars - NO. It's a nice place, with a beautiful sky, nice temperatures for a holiday, and lots of robots to make friends with, but don't let those 'rivers' fool you. There's nothing to drink on Mars, and as we all know, walking around a planet is thirsty work! Jupiter - NO. You're not allowed to because it's too gassy and let's be honest, you would get tired too fast. It's the biggest planet ever discovered!* Saturn - Yes, BUT. The problem is not the size, despite what pictures will show you it's actually much bigger than the inch across that google images pretends it is. The problem is not resources, it's probably got a lot more food and drink than the pictures show too, it's named after the roman god of harvest! The issue you would face is having to look up as you sleep in your sleeping bag every night and see that fucking ring. And you know that even if you walk all the way around Saturn (which is totally doable), that for the rest of your life, everybody you ever talk to will ask you 'wait the planet or the ring' and you will have to look them in the eye and sadly explain that you can't walk on the ring because it's not actually solid, it's lots of little bits of stuff and they're not joined together. Uranus - NO. To take a quote from NASA's (leading spaciologists) website, "Uranus' environment is not conducive to life as we know it. The temperatures, pressures, and materials that characterize this planet are most likely too extreme and volatile for organisms to adapt to." It's impossible to even think about walking when the conditions are that bad, but there might be public transport if you need to take short trips. Neptune - NO. To be honest we forgot about this one, but it's named after that the ocean king or something and that's really scary, so you're probably not missing out on much. Pluto - YES!!!!! Pluto is literally the perfect planet, if your legs are long enough you can probably do it in a day, but I would suggest taking your time to really enjoy the sights. It's really far away from the sun, so you don't need sunscreen, and at since it gets to 35K (Kelsius maybe?) at night, you'll not even need a blanket! Most importantly, since '''scientists''' decided it's no longer a planet, it's left off of a lot of brochures, so there won't be any annoying tourists pushing up motel prices. A lovely weekend visit!

Honourable mention - The Sun. Lots of people asked me to add this to the list because they see it on planet charts but it's actually not a planet and is instead something else. I hope this helps!

*No it's not.

i think my only big disagreement with the consensus of pluto not being a planet is that dwarf planets aren't considered a type of planet. like, why aren't they just a subclass of planet. the major planets and minor planets. sorry but these bitches are more interesting than me than mars

[roomba-mangga]

"what does familial affection feel like" normal person questions to ask at midnight

[orcelito]

Don't know whether it's a product of my upbringing or just part of who I am, but I really do tend to shrug off things that seem to send others into massive guilt spirals. Like, what's the point? Either you meant to do it or you didn't. If you meant to do it but regret it now, make what amends you can & resolve to do better, then move on. If you didn't mean to, be honest about it, apologize if need be, & try to do better. Then move on.

Beating yourself up truly serves no purpose. What are we, catholic? If there is a god, I truly don't think they'd care, anyways

[readymades2002]

if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff

[conartisthaiji]

looking back it's actually super funny that i told my parents that i wanted to take a semester off of college and the first thing they did was call my therapist and book me an appointment. i was like "mom dad school is making me want to kms i want to take time off" and they were like "oh god this is above our paygrade. what's your therapist's phone number". they did not let me take a semester off, but i got to go to therapy about it, so, like. problem solved! (it was not fucking solved)