#it's not directed at me but im still crying
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"You rely on wit and people die on it" if someone said that to me I will cry big fat tears odysseus youre so strong
#epic the musical#epic the ocean saga#odysseus#eurylochus#it's not directed at me but im still crying#pls im just a baby#odysseus is doing his best#also what the fuck#everything's changed since polites#why would you say that#do you enjoy seeing me cry
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Portrait of a Young Girl at the End of the 60s in Brussels [Portrait d’une jeune fille de la fin des années 60 à Bruxelles] (1994), dir. Chantal Akerman
#im taking half the dosage of my meds and watching this scene again made me cry#chantal captures loneliness like no other#Portrait of a Young Girl at the End of the 60s in Brussels#Portrait d’une jeune fille de la fin des années 60 à Bruxelles#chantal akerman#film stills#*#directed by women#dailyworldcinema
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been thinking a bit about voice actors for One Piece, and there's the idea that searching for a replacement for any of the VAs would be difficult but the thing about being a long running series is that, there's SO many people who does impressions of them. Of course they're not a perfect 1:1 (*that's an impossible task) but if you could sound just close enough to how the characters originally sounded, that's just cool in my book
anyways here's kanipan as Luffy singing Binks' Sake which i still do a double take whenever i hear her voice
and here's a nico nico song medley of the "One Piece cast" (voice lookalikes) with rewritten lyrics to fit in the journey from the beginning until the end of Water 7 (someone said in the comments the original cast saw this and loved it, idk if its true though lol)
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#the edited lyrics in Dear You for Kalgara and Noland's part is SICKENING by the way. devastating. instant tears#and also like down the line in Binks' Sake you can hear her revert back to her actual singing voice but she still ~kinda~ sounds like luffy#the old niconico one piece kai was mindblowing to me too when i first discovered it LOL they even had Enel#lovveeee the utaite community surrounding one piece back then theyre great#one piece#this isnt me saying that the VAs are easily replaceable (dont assume this of me i WILL cry)i just want to direct people to voice lookalikes#cause i think theyre cool and whenever someone says its impossible to sound like [insert character] im like... well... it IS impossible but#i know people who sounds close enough to them...and they sing covers and shit.....#this is just me being a nerd about monomane covers now okay i see how it is but ANYWAYS yeah they exist and i like them too THATS IT LOL#voice actors#RAMBLES#Youtube
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mbta completely fucked me and now im gonna be 20 minutes late to my fucking movie
#barry.txt#im genuienly going to cry i hate being late for movies openings are so important#and its distruptive and generally stressful#fucking fuck fuck#an its my fault cause i knew the green line was down the other day and still figured it might be open today#and THE i went in the wrong direction on the prange line losing me another like 10 minutes
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anyway this was The Moment and i cannot tell u how much i didnt believe it at first
#spent a solid 2+ hours last night waiting for it to be debunked#and like a part of me still doesnt believe even tho it's like. pretty damn confirmed at this point#1d#liam payne#one direction#temporarily returning to my directioner roots bc im in shock#yall who are listening to 1d right now are stronger than me i cry listening to 1d on a GOOD day this would have me in shambles
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Trying to learn new programs like they all want me to die personally
#ravings at the square#im trying rlly hard to learn things with the little time I have 👍#some people are just more gifted than me. have more patience and motivation or idk cos goddamn#the prospect of learning how to make a game and working at the same time is so hellish I cant even bring myself to DRAW or write when#working full time. energy drained fr. but ok. i will be optimistic#if u see me whine and cry in two weeks no u dont#learning unity btw. i want. to create my silly little games.#Thats what I want the most in the world is to create. and if nobody will give me the opportunity to do so ill create it myself#Something so so so scary about being nearly 30 and having no direction in life and realizing you haven't mounted to anything but I'm not#dead yet so I still have a chance 👍 I can still create beautiful things as long Im kicking
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there are some bits of what they did with the rooftop scene that i like and others where i was like :/ this isn't as good as it could be. and this is an important scene lmao
#bobtalk#p3reposting#this is also a scene where i'm really attached to the old translation. so lol.#still sad that we dont have you will be given one year move forth without falter with your heart as your guide <- attached to this one also#also kind of split on the reload version of kimi no kioku. it's a good song no matter what though (the best persona song in general)#(no arguments there. nobody does it like my goat kimi no kioku.) (the reload version is good ive decided btw)#IN GENERAL. the reload cutscenes. well. the production value is higher or whatever than the original.#but man they're just. not as good im sorry. im the most annoying person in the world possibly but#i think the worst offender by FAR is the opening cutscene because the original was so striking and well directed. and reload's just does NO#hit the same at allllll. major loss imo#the awakening is the runner up when it comes to lost oomph. as one would expect lol#that's a thing with the remake like it's modernized and higher production value and it looks GREAT. and i LIKE a lot of its changes#i really do. tartarus has never been nicer to explore#but in the process there are quite a few spots where it's lost some of its. artistic vision(?) i guess.#anyway reload second persona game for me to physically cry during lmao. voice acting in the sun SL second last day scene got me#i think my main takeaway from reload is that it doesn't replace the originals. but of course it was never going to. and at the end of the#day. i'm glad it exists. i had a good time...and now i'm going to rest. lol
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#ITS TAKING US HALF A FUCKING HOUR TO WATCH 1015 OH MY GOD .#ARE YOU KIDDING ME#RESUS FUCKDIGN CHRIST#WERE 10 MINUTES IN HALFWAY INTO THIS EPISODE AND ITS BEEN 30 MINUTES#update its been an hour#a full hour#IM LOSING YHE IDGF WAR SO BAD#im getting atummy ache it is causing a physical reaction i.n me .#never once did i ever cry while watching this show which says . A Lot since im a big crier . you cant do this to me#AFTER 1000 EPISODES . youre kidding me . somehow i no longer feel like ive wasted arnd 400hrs of my life#the feeling wont last long but still#yamatos voice axctor i am IN YOUR WALSLS#this color script is making me sick who directed this its stunning .#this arc actually had the proper build up to Hit i am . impressed#it wasnt just this episode it really did feel like the dominoes were Falling for once in this shows lifetime what the hell#i am . floored .#maybe they Were right . it Does get good at the 1000s . kicks dirt#we started watching 1015 at 11 thinking we’ll sleep after this one but its 1am now . this needs to stop#solar-talks
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I had a dream last night that I was being chased by αρχικοί χρόνοι/ancient greek verbs and I was running through the forest at 11:22 pm because I was writing a test on Antigone (THATS LAST YEAR'S CLASS) and I was late cause the test started at 11:00 pm and then I woke up because I run out of breath cause I couldn't run that fast and it was like 6 in the morning and I was already full of anxiety
#OUF#my mom wouldn't drive me to class cause she was half sleeping or something#and i was mad and as i was running through the forest i was talking to her on the phone like i hate you why would you do this or something#and crying and i reached my teacher's home at some point but that was the wrong place and i had to run again and go to the actual class#but i woke up then#now that i think about it i think i was running on the middle of the street (in the forest) and kinda was in danger of dying cause of cars#but there weren't any cars but i still hoped some car would hit me. or feared. im not really sure at this point#also why the fuxk was i in the forest? the closest forest is like in a completely different direction than the one i need to go to class😭#also supposedly in the dream my teacher's house was far from the class and that why i messed up#but in reality its the same building 😭and you reach the class first cause its in the street and her house is behind the class#oof#sugarenia talks#sugarenia thoughts#sugarenia dreams#sugarenia school stuff#tagging this as school stuff cause its panelele's fault i saw it
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hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol
#purrs#delete later#not to liveblog and be tmi or whatever but i feel terribly alone and terribly miserable so this is in fact a cry for help lol. or really#comfort bc im fucking going insane. so for context last spring when i was still an intern another intern orchestrated this back channel#where everyone was supposed to talk shit about our supervisors (my dearest most belovedest mentors) and all of us hid it for months and it#all came to a head at asb 2022 because there was a lot of drama witb the asb student facilitators and our staff team. and it was sooooo ugly#and messy and horrible and probably played a direct role in one of my dearest beloved est mentors (who was the point person for asb) fucking#getting a new job and abandoning us in july lol 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 and so i became a full time staff member and me and my remaining dearest belovedest#colleague besties fucking carried the world on oh r shoulders and put on amazing programs as just 3 of us in the core staff and we thought w#we were doing a really good job with the asb 2023 leaders and that there were no drama dynamics or whatever and guess fucking what. tonight#we found out that half of them hate us for reasons we still don’t know and all of them are at each others throats and also some of the#participants feel a type of way about us. and i know i am being a fragile sensitive crybaby over it but i have had terrible cramps all day a#and have barely slept since ive been here and feel like ive been bending over backwards to support the leaders only to find out that half of#them think we’re evil and i just… i couldn’t take it. so i cried and now im beating myself up for crying. but it’s like come ON. i know we#did a pretty imperfect job of preparing them for this. and i should just take responsibility for that and not be defensive. but it’s like… i#have NEVER seen this program in person before or been part of the planning of it. i was just a student last year like all of you. and also#HOW many fucking times did we create space for you to talk to us and invite us in. and still this shit happened. and i just feel like a#failure. and i couldn’t react to that information in any way except cry liek it’s all so over my head and out of my depth and im not as#emotionally mature as my colleagues bc im the youngest and this is my first time dealing with this and i feel so incompetent and like i#failed. failed the first time by not speaking up when i was implicated in the stupid fucking Google form back channel situation last year#and now failed the second time by not being able to prevent this stupid drama bullshit from happening again and for not catching it. and jfs#like… im in excruciating physical pain and haven’t slept and haven’t eaten well and my life is falling apart and we were ABANDONED BY THE#PERSON WHO WAS RESPONDIBLE FOR THIS (i know we weren’t abandoned she literally just got a new job i just have psychological issues) and#we’ve been running at a million miles per hour with absolutely no break and now you’re mad at us and not even telling us and it’s impacting#everyone’s experiences but you want to pretend this is fucking high school and keep secrets. i am TIRED of drama. i am TIRED of this stupid#bullshit. and not to say this bc i don’t know if asb 2022 drama factored into her decision to leave but if it did i get why * left now. i#get it. bc this shit makes me want to jump out the hotel window. i do not want to face any of them tomorrow and deal with more bullshit. i#am emotionally unstable and incompetent and not equipped to deal with this in a mature healthy way. i want this to be over NOW. im done.#ok i think that’s it um. sorry about that i just needed other people to know i am suffering and i will suppress the shame i feel about that#just this once. esp bc i denied myself the opportunity for my colleague besties to comfort me while i was crying and i regret it now lol
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i thinkkkkkk ive done everything??
just took out the trash about to have a lil snack and chill until sleep consumes me for like. six hours lol
#everything on my to do list has been crossed off minus some last minute packings that i still need overnight like my charger#but apart from that? i think thats everything??#i did the dishes i threw everything away from the fridge that isnt freezable and cant survive#i washed the bathroom floor. took out the trash. packed my things. checked in for my flight and confirmed hotel directions#alllllll should be good? and i have breakfast for the train trip so#now i really just need to sleep and drag my ass out of the bed in the morning#holy shit its happening#..more importantly. i think. i made it. i dont think i have to say how much that alone means to think about right now#but before i cry im gonna go i have to repaint my nails a little after i eat#i'll see you in the morning. if you have asks you wanna drop me for while i wait at the airport for four hours the inbox is open lol#night is an absolute mess on main
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i just tried dancing the 2 blackpink songs i danced a lot 4ish? years ago and im so happy that my body still remembers it but also younger me had no sense of direction lol
#like i still remember them omg that makes me so happy#but also ill do the correct direction and then in some my body only knows how to do the mirror#i guess that never really mattered to her lol#im so nostalgic i will cry#i used to dance to as if its your last with my cousin and her friend in my cousin's room like every sunday#and im not close with that friend anymore and my cousin is migrating in 2 months so#well the memories were happy
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#gonna ramble in the tags here cause i need to vent somewhere and twitter seems too personal for some reason idk#but man arsene gives me such intense gender envy every single time#and todays video was just So Much#like to the point where i added the song of his video to my gender envy playlist and am now listening to french songs and nearly crying#i just wanna be a pretty boy#but like i want to be one when im 18 and be like a young person growing up and having friends and makign music and dancing#and going to parties anf concercerts and just exist yk#and like i could still do that i guess but it doesnt feel the same and it feels inaccesible#and im just mourning something ive never had and never will because time only goes in one direction#and actually scratch the nearly crying i am properly crying now#why are things and i#i need a post for general ramblings
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ive heard that dogs know theyre different from humans and cats think humans are just weird cats. but the crucial thing is that's the direction it goes! cats don't turn that confusion inward like a human raised on individualism and in group/out group mechanics might. cats know they are cats. cats are good at being cats and they do not stop to doubt whether they should be doing the cat thing.
does anybody have that cat poem, you know the one. not mary oliver's poem. the one about a cat growing up with you like brothers but him still being small whereas you've grown tall. i need a good cry
#i wasnt gonna share this poem because it made me SO sad and cry a LOT#but then i thought if anyone else sees this and feels that way too i want this little reassurance to be there#because really#if there is one thing no cat has ever felt#it's uncertainty about whether it should be doing cat things#cats#poetry#rmsic#some of these lines unfortunately are still true to an extent. yes the cat wants my food more than his#but the thing is that's because he's a doofus who doesnt know im a vegetarian and that will make his tummy hurt#and he knows i like him. he absolutely does. he purrs louder when i say i love you. he even accepts kisses#he doesnt LIKE kisses but he knows they are a sign of affection from me so he tolerates them. even appreciates them in a way#he directs headbutts to my mouth#once i saw prism go to headbutt dad's mouth and stop short of his lips#and dad asked what he was doing#and somewhat mystified i said he must be waiting for dad to meet him with a kiss#and that i never knew prism would do that because i always completed the kiss automatically#so yes. they know we like them. they know we love them. they think we are weird and occasionally annoying#but i promise you a cat has never felt there was anything wrong with him for being a cat not a person#he might be worried that YOU are not a good enough cat and bring you prey to help you out#but he's fine
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I listened to Chappell Roan's casual song and it gave me flashbacks to when I dated someone for the first time. "Dream of us in a year / Maybe we'd have an apartment / And you'd show me off to your friends at the pier" destroyed me what the fuck
#chappell roan#casual chappell roan#stupid amazing song made me cry#i still remember dreaming of having an apartment#like i dont have any feelings for them anymore but this DESTROYED ME like DESTROY DESTROY#made me turn into a ball and sob#“your parents at the table you wonder why im bitter” this was personal. this was a direct attack
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Kinda happy that sometimes when my body goes into an anxiety attack, my mind is unaffected. Like, it's shaking violently and I'm in pain and all but nothing particular makes me think anxious thoughts.
But at the same time I'm so angry bc I cannot calm my body down and cannot sleep and i'm just suffering with stomach pain and feeling cold.
#like#wow improvemeny#to some direction#im currently in so much pain I wanna cry but im also so tired#does this happen to you?#its also 3am#i feel like throwing up and that scares me#i've been sick for a week with cold so idk if thats the issue or not but#hhhh I hate this#it scares me still a bit
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