#it's not directed at me but im still crying
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"You rely on wit and people die on it" if someone said that to me I will cry big fat tears odysseus youre so strong
#epic the musical#epic the ocean saga#odysseus#eurylochus#it's not directed at me but im still crying#pls im just a baby#odysseus is doing his best#also what the fuck#everything's changed since polites#why would you say that#do you enjoy seeing me cry
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Portrait of a Young Girl at the End of the 60s in Brussels [Portrait d’une jeune fille de la fin des années 60 à Bruxelles] (1994), dir. Chantal Akerman
#im taking half the dosage of my meds and watching this scene again made me cry#chantal captures loneliness like no other#Portrait of a Young Girl at the End of the 60s in Brussels#Portrait d’une jeune fille de la fin des années 60 à Bruxelles#chantal akerman#film stills#*#directed by women#dailyworldcinema
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WHAT is that incessant noise in my room that sounds like a heaving congested snot monster—
its me playing sylus’s innocent birdcage bad ending who WHO DID THIS
#crying still#my POOKIE its all a dream#its all a dream n im abt to wake up to my mom selling me to one direction#anw im emotional abt this and will be for the next few working days#sylus#spoiler?
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uncle nina has a very long sixteen hr+ long flight ahead of her and the only thing getting me through is that i know when jerseykyle goes through tsa and has to whip his belt and his sweater off lookin like a 6ft tall gorgeous long haired ginger supermodel people almost start cryin
#;nina speaks.#the way i would throw my wallet like a javelin dude#i would have a heart attack#i knlw people are just staring at him like…Wow.#they always stop his fine ass too n have to frisk him#and i know he gives them a hard ass time#like wooow! what was it my nose…my last name?#im sorry is this an airport? is this america?#or is this auschwitz? hm?! Quickly!#talking fast as hell in the jersey accent#with the vein in his neck standing out and his slacks sliding down his sharp ass hipbone#like trying to put his hair up with one hand and throw a punch with the other#and that tsa lady just pulled him aside to admire him#like sir i have no idea what you are saying but you are the finest man i have ever seen#like i know he whips off the belt lightning quick like it’s magic mike and takes off the lumpy argyle sweater#and puts his hands behind his head and the entire tsa light up stops to cry and throw up#wish that were me#meanwhile they’re like…ur *squints* raven of crimson dawn…are u Sure sir?#like aahHhahaahHa! yep uh regrettably unfortunately that’s me do u want to see#the butterfly tramp stamp tattoo i got when i was 18 bc yeah uh…it’s still there…And Blue#jk they fly him privately everywhere and he looks like a racoon u pulled out the dumpster but…A Cute….Racoon…</3#with his eyeliner all over his face and his hair in five hundred directions like im so sorry where are we again#like *hungover* *tired* *hiccup* gooood morning -looking at eyeliner writing on hand- yugioh-slovakiaaa~ *peace sign*#legends and icons both of them
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I Am Unwell
#i had to assist chairside for IV sedation today (which ive never done even w supervision from a more experienced asst) twice already#(and got reprimanded for not knowing smth about how to do it bc Nobody Ever Explained That To Me)#and i still have 6 left to do#and im already exhausted and feeling faint so i am taking a lunch but all i have are poptarts. so.#and its so hot and im running on v little sleep and i bave 2 appts tomorrow in different directions from my house#and i just want to cry bc im so exhausted physically mentally and emotionally already and we are understaffed so i have to do EVERY SURGERY.#ive never assisted chairside with nitrous either. and we have a patient w nitrous later. and one of the other assts Hates nitrous bc#its harder to work with or smth#and i feel like such a loser and a burden bc im not properly trained yet bc my boss wouldnt let me try under supervision and now#i have to do it without help#im so fucking tired of Everything and i just want to be Home but i might not get to for a long long time. hopefully soon. maybe#if anybody is reading this i really need a hug
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been thinking a bit about voice actors for One Piece, and there's the idea that searching for a replacement for any of the VAs would be difficult but the thing about being a long running series is that, there's SO many people who does impressions of them. Of course they're not a perfect 1:1 (*that's an impossible task) but if you could sound just close enough to how the characters originally sounded, that's just cool in my book
anyways here's kanipan as Luffy singing Binks' Sake which i still do a double take whenever i hear her voice
and here's a nico nico song medley of the "One Piece cast" (voice lookalikes) with rewritten lyrics to fit in the journey from the beginning until the end of Water 7 (someone said in the comments the original cast saw this and loved it, idk if its true though lol)
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#the edited lyrics in Dear You for Kalgara and Noland's part is SICKENING by the way. devastating. instant tears#and also like down the line in Binks' Sake you can hear her revert back to her actual singing voice but she still ~kinda~ sounds like luffy#the old niconico one piece kai was mindblowing to me too when i first discovered it LOL they even had Enel#lovveeee the utaite community surrounding one piece back then theyre great#one piece#this isnt me saying that the VAs are easily replaceable (dont assume this of me i WILL cry)i just want to direct people to voice lookalikes#cause i think theyre cool and whenever someone says its impossible to sound like [insert character] im like... well... it IS impossible but#i know people who sounds close enough to them...and they sing covers and shit.....#this is just me being a nerd about monomane covers now okay i see how it is but ANYWAYS yeah they exist and i like them too THATS IT LOL#voice actors#RAMBLES#Youtube
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xiao

#omg the way he loves aether makes me cry every time.#and it feels so amazing to see bc this relationship has been developing since the START of the game#it feels genuine and earned bc it has been given time and care (unlike certain other characters......................)#i hate to be making this point but i have to bc of the direction this game has taken in 5.X#im not even at the half point of the event story so i havent been able to see how bad the thing with hu ta0 is or if ppl are just#overreacting bc of well. Everything recent in the game#also i heard xia0 and yel4n will be interacting later and omg i cant eait for that#bc the chasm aq was so important to me that group became so special#so happy to see her at all tbh i get her job (sigh) means she cant be around much but still. i wish she was
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ifelt sad tonight and was walkibg through the rain with this big ass pizza in my hands sobbing it was like the peak dramatic anime moment and all i could think about was screaming krusty krab pizza i was all alone i don’t know why i didn’t do it I know it would’ve felt so good
#I don’t really know why im upset#I mean i do but I cry spontaneously at nothing#not in a I cry over everything way like i just take certain things to heart#i made an offhanded joke about oh my ride isn’t responding ill just walk home#and everyone was immediately like ??? are you sure? do you need a ride? is it ok for you to walk?#it upsets me when ppl are so unintentioonañly nice like that#and i was holding multiple of said pizzas and offered them to another group#like oh hey we have a lot of pizza left over if you guys w#ould like it? do u want it? and i left 2 boxes#when i left i heard giggling and i dont know if it was directed to me but it still made me tear up#little stuff like that makes me the most emotional lmao
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mbta completely fucked me and now im gonna be 20 minutes late to my fucking movie
#barry.txt#im genuienly going to cry i hate being late for movies openings are so important#and its distruptive and generally stressful#fucking fuck fuck#an its my fault cause i knew the green line was down the other day and still figured it might be open today#and THE i went in the wrong direction on the prange line losing me another like 10 minutes
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anyway this was The Moment and i cannot tell u how much i didnt believe it at first

#spent a solid 2+ hours last night waiting for it to be debunked#and like a part of me still doesnt believe even tho it's like. pretty damn confirmed at this point#1d#liam payne#one direction#temporarily returning to my directioner roots bc im in shock#yall who are listening to 1d right now are stronger than me i cry listening to 1d on a GOOD day this would have me in shambles
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Trying to learn new programs like they all want me to die personally
#ravings at the square#im trying rlly hard to learn things with the little time I have 👍#some people are just more gifted than me. have more patience and motivation or idk cos goddamn#the prospect of learning how to make a game and working at the same time is so hellish I cant even bring myself to DRAW or write when#working full time. energy drained fr. but ok. i will be optimistic#if u see me whine and cry in two weeks no u dont#learning unity btw. i want. to create my silly little games.#Thats what I want the most in the world is to create. and if nobody will give me the opportunity to do so ill create it myself#Something so so so scary about being nearly 30 and having no direction in life and realizing you haven't mounted to anything but I'm not#dead yet so I still have a chance 👍 I can still create beautiful things as long Im kicking
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there are some bits of what they did with the rooftop scene that i like and others where i was like :/ this isn't as good as it could be. and this is an important scene lmao
#bobtalk#p3reposting#this is also a scene where i'm really attached to the old translation. so lol.#still sad that we dont have you will be given one year move forth without falter with your heart as your guide <- attached to this one also#also kind of split on the reload version of kimi no kioku. it's a good song no matter what though (the best persona song in general)#(no arguments there. nobody does it like my goat kimi no kioku.) (the reload version is good ive decided btw)#IN GENERAL. the reload cutscenes. well. the production value is higher or whatever than the original.#but man they're just. not as good im sorry. im the most annoying person in the world possibly but#i think the worst offender by FAR is the opening cutscene because the original was so striking and well directed. and reload's just does NO#hit the same at allllll. major loss imo#the awakening is the runner up when it comes to lost oomph. as one would expect lol#that's a thing with the remake like it's modernized and higher production value and it looks GREAT. and i LIKE a lot of its changes#i really do. tartarus has never been nicer to explore#but in the process there are quite a few spots where it's lost some of its. artistic vision(?) i guess.#anyway reload second persona game for me to physically cry during lmao. voice acting in the sun SL second last day scene got me#i think my main takeaway from reload is that it doesn't replace the originals. but of course it was never going to. and at the end of the#day. i'm glad it exists. i had a good time...and now i'm going to rest. lol
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#ITS TAKING US HALF A FUCKING HOUR TO WATCH 1015 OH MY GOD .#ARE YOU KIDDING ME#RESUS FUCKDIGN CHRIST#WERE 10 MINUTES IN HALFWAY INTO THIS EPISODE AND ITS BEEN 30 MINUTES#update its been an hour#a full hour#IM LOSING YHE IDGF WAR SO BAD#im getting atummy ache it is causing a physical reaction i.n me .#never once did i ever cry while watching this show which says . A Lot since im a big crier . you cant do this to me#AFTER 1000 EPISODES . youre kidding me . somehow i no longer feel like ive wasted arnd 400hrs of my life#the feeling wont last long but still#yamatos voice axctor i am IN YOUR WALSLS#this color script is making me sick who directed this its stunning .#this arc actually had the proper build up to Hit i am . impressed#it wasnt just this episode it really did feel like the dominoes were Falling for once in this shows lifetime what the hell#i am . floored .#maybe they Were right . it Does get good at the 1000s . kicks dirt#we started watching 1015 at 11 thinking we’ll sleep after this one but its 1am now . this needs to stop#solar-talks
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I had a dream last night that I was being chased by αρχικοί χρόνοι/ancient greek verbs and I was running through the forest at 11:22 pm because I was writing a test on Antigone (THATS LAST YEAR'S CLASS) and I was late cause the test started at 11:00 pm and then I woke up because I run out of breath cause I couldn't run that fast and it was like 6 in the morning and I was already full of anxiety
#OUF#my mom wouldn't drive me to class cause she was half sleeping or something#and i was mad and as i was running through the forest i was talking to her on the phone like i hate you why would you do this or something#and crying and i reached my teacher's home at some point but that was the wrong place and i had to run again and go to the actual class#but i woke up then#now that i think about it i think i was running on the middle of the street (in the forest) and kinda was in danger of dying cause of cars#but there weren't any cars but i still hoped some car would hit me. or feared. im not really sure at this point#also why the fuxk was i in the forest? the closest forest is like in a completely different direction than the one i need to go to class😭#also supposedly in the dream my teacher's house was far from the class and that why i messed up#but in reality its the same building 😭and you reach the class first cause its in the street and her house is behind the class#oof#sugarenia talks#sugarenia thoughts#sugarenia dreams#sugarenia school stuff#tagging this as school stuff cause its panelele's fault i saw it
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hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol
#purrs#delete later#not to liveblog and be tmi or whatever but i feel terribly alone and terribly miserable so this is in fact a cry for help lol. or really#comfort bc im fucking going insane. so for context last spring when i was still an intern another intern orchestrated this back channel#where everyone was supposed to talk shit about our supervisors (my dearest most belovedest mentors) and all of us hid it for months and it#all came to a head at asb 2022 because there was a lot of drama witb the asb student facilitators and our staff team. and it was sooooo ugl#and messy and horrible and probably played a direct role in one of my dearest beloved est mentors (who was the point person for asb) fuckin#getting a new job and abandoning us in july lol 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 and so i became a full time staff member and me and my remaining dearest belovedest#colleague besties fucking carried the world on oh r shoulders and put on amazing programs as just 3 of us in the core staff and we thought#we were doing a really good job with the asb 2023 leaders and that there were no drama dynamics or whatever and guess fucking what. tonight#we found out that half of them hate us for reasons we still don’t know and all of them are at each others throats and also some of the#participants feel a type of way about us. and i know i am being a fragile sensitive crybaby over it but i have had terrible cramps all day#and have barely slept since ive been here and feel like ive been bending over backwards to support the leaders only to find out that half o#them think we’re evil and i just… i couldn’t take it. so i cried and now im beating myself up for crying. but it’s like come ON. i know we#did a pretty imperfect job of preparing them for this. and i should just take responsibility for that and not be defensive. but it’s like…#have NEVER seen this program in person before or been part of the planning of it. i was just a student last year like all of you. and also#HOW many fucking times did we create space for you to talk to us and invite us in. and still this shit happened. and i just feel like a#failure. and i couldn’t react to that information in any way except cry liek it’s all so over my head and out of my depth and im not as#emotionally mature as my colleagues bc im the youngest and this is my first time dealing with this and i feel so incompetent and like i#failed. failed the first time by not speaking up when i was implicated in the stupid fucking Google form back channel situation last year#and now failed the second time by not being able to prevent this stupid drama bullshit from happening again and for not catching it. and jf#like… im in excruciating physical pain and haven’t slept and haven’t eaten well and my life is falling apart and we were ABANDONED BY THE#PERSON WHO WAS RESPONDIBLE FOR THIS (i know we weren’t abandoned she literally just got a new job i just have psychological issues) and#we’ve been running at a million miles per hour with absolutely no break and now you’re mad at us and not even telling us and it’s impacting#everyone’s experiences but you want to pretend this is fucking high school and keep secrets. i am TIRED of drama. i am TIRED of this stupid#bullshit. and not to say this bc i don’t know if asb 2022 drama factored into her decision to leave but if it did i get why * left now. i#get it. bc this shit makes me want to jump out the hotel window. i do not want to face any of them tomorrow and deal with more bullshit. i#am emotionally unstable and incompetent and not equipped to deal with this in a mature healthy way. i want this to be over NOW. im done.#ok i think that’s it um. sorry about that i just needed other people to know i am suffering and i will suppress the shame i feel about that#just this once. esp bc i denied myself the opportunity for my colleague besties to comfort me while i was crying and i regret it now lol
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i thinkkkkkk ive done everything??
just took out the trash about to have a lil snack and chill until sleep consumes me for like. six hours lol
#everything on my to do list has been crossed off minus some last minute packings that i still need overnight like my charger#but apart from that? i think thats everything??#i did the dishes i threw everything away from the fridge that isnt freezable and cant survive#i washed the bathroom floor. took out the trash. packed my things. checked in for my flight and confirmed hotel directions#alllllll should be good? and i have breakfast for the train trip so#now i really just need to sleep and drag my ass out of the bed in the morning#holy shit its happening#..more importantly. i think. i made it. i dont think i have to say how much that alone means to think about right now#but before i cry im gonna go i have to repaint my nails a little after i eat#i'll see you in the morning. if you have asks you wanna drop me for while i wait at the airport for four hours the inbox is open lol#night is an absolute mess on main
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