#it's not directed at me but im still crying

[silvaurum]

yall are clearly having two+ very different conversations. op is correct tho. it is extremely fucking irritating to tell someone 'hey that hurt me' or 'hey that hurts people' and for them to respond 'how dare you say i'm capable of hurting people?!?!'

yeah 'oppressor' is loaded and has moral weight, because oppression holds moral weight, because oppression, the structural force, is bad. and generally people who are trying to say 'hey that hurt me' are not going to call you an oppressor directly, but even if they do, maybe address the hurt first and complain about the exact wording later.

there IS a conversation you could have about language here. 'part of a class that reaps privileges from the existing structure of society, whether they want to have those privileges or not' -> 'part of a class that has structural power over another class, whether they want to or not' -> 'part of a class that oppresses another class' -> 'oppressor class'. these are all equivalent in literal meaning, but feel very different. it gets condensed for efficiency and loses some nuance.

and then yes people are going to react defensively when they feel you've implied they are inherently oppressive and immoral. sure. i wish people would take a deep breath when that happens so they could stop taking statements about our current social positions as an inherent personal fault, because it's all arbitrary, no one chose whether we were born into a class like "in the global north".

the main issue is that it's a pain in the fucking ass to tiptoe around the structure of society and word everything perfectly delicately when I've just been hurt in a very predictable way and am reacting "ow! hey!"

that is also the entire issue with 'guilt' when we talk about oppression. it's not that guilt is a "bad" feeling that you shouldn't feel 🙄. it's that your reaction to your feeling guilty is not always helpful in the specific moment when you're being told you hurt someone. it's fucking irritating to tell someone 'hey that hurt me' and for them to respond 'oh my god im so sorry can i hate myself for you? i'm so terrible let me tell everyone how terrible i am' and take up all the air in the room with a self-hate spiral, so that regardless the original issue of you getting hurt is now minimized.

it's okay to feel guilty, it's totally neutral. it's the actions of public self hatred which turns the focus away from fixing the problem. soothing the feelings of the person who has benefited from an oppressive social structure, even without their consent, still matters… but it should come well after helping the people who are still being hurt by that structure and would like it to be acknowledged.

and thus op. i wish we could collectively stop taking it personally for five seconds when someone says "ow! hey!" so we can say "oh sorry, that was wrong, i'll be more careful".

+ taking the definition of oppressor class from colloquial twitter-ese is silly, man. its not even 'shallow' analysis it's looking at the name of a theory and extrapolating from there. these people think gaslighting is when you disagree about what happened + people who are oppressed talking amongst themselves are not going to word everything in perfectly neutral political theory terms, especially when we're either being hurt or trying to heal from being hurt + 'socialized male' person does not have any serious political analysis to offer, this is just a terf throwing words at the wall + "Oppressors can cry until next week, choke, or burn in hell for all I’ll ever care." this is not directed at you and it is not a literal political stance that anyone genuinely has. this is an expression of frustration. you taking it literally and personally looks ridiculous. this is a hammer car explosion post

lot of people take the idea they might be an oppressor like it's some kind of curse or marks them or makes them fundamentally irredeemable.

this means whenever someone suggests they might have structural power over some group, rather than being normal about it and going "oh yeah i should be mindful of how i act so i don't abuse that," they take it as a personal attack, and either jump to defending themselves by denying it, or start lashing out.

this makes 99.99999% of all conversations on this website completely fucking unbearable.

[yinblanc]

"You rely on wit and people die on it" if someone said that to me I will cry big fat tears odysseus youre so strong

[ourlittlesister2015]

Portrait of a Young Girl at the End of the 60s in Brussels [Portrait d’une jeune fille de la fin des années 60 à Bruxelles] (1994), dir. Chantal Akerman

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

i... wrote a smol fic (っ´▽`*)っ

also!!!!! If you haven't seen it - shoutout to first ever published fic in Ninja Showdown/My Immortal Soul tags - Lustrous Red by @missadmyre !!!

[glittergelpensherlock]

Why did we as a society stop worshiping One Direction?

[catinasink]

i wanna. slam my head into something reepeatedly

[uwooyoungs]

anyway this was The Moment and i cannot tell u how much i didnt believe it at first

[paleiido]

Trying to learn new programs like they all want me to die personally

[bobzora]

there are some bits of what they did with the rooftop scene that i like and others where i was like :/ this isn't as good as it could be. and this is an important scene lmao

[solcarow]

.

[sugaroto]

I had a dream last night that I was being chased by αρχικοί χρόνοι/ancient greek verbs and I was running through the forest at 11:22 pm because I was writing a test on Antigone (THATS LAST YEAR'S CLASS) and I was late cause the test started at 11:00 pm and then I woke up because I run out of breath cause I couldn't run that fast and it was like 6 in the morning and I was already full of anxiety

[pepprs]

hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol

[the-kipsabian]

i thinkkkkkk ive done everything??

just took out the trash about to have a lil snack and chill until sleep consumes me for like. six hours lol

[sxnctxxry]

i just tried dancing the 2 blackpink songs i danced a lot 4ish? years ago and im so happy that my body still remembers it but also younger me had no sense of direction lol

[courfee]

.

[coronangelic1]

I listened to Chappell Roan's casual song and it gave me flashbacks to when I dated someone for the first time. "Dream of us in a year / Maybe we'd have an apartment / And you'd show me off to your friends at the pier" destroyed me what the fuck