#it's never been anything but a positive experience on both sides why are we all so scared

[mortalityplays]

if you've ever felt nervous to work with an editor in case they judge you, know that every time I take on a new client a tiny part of me gets scared that they'll turn out to be a divine and flawless being whose first draft operates on levels beyond my comprehension and I'll have to crawl back to them on hands and knees and say I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for presuming to offer you guidance, please take back your money and forgive my hubris in wasting your time. and then I read it and I'm like ohh this is great. you got stuck in chapter two didn't you, here let me straighten that out. btw it's lie not lay.

[pha55ed]

Diet Pepsi || F2

type :: smut! tw/cw :: size kink (ollie), corruption (paul), fem!reader (all) contains :: ollie, paul, pepe, zane summary :: certain kinks that the drivers have, - "break all the rules 'til we get caught" diet pepsi - addison rae (my first smut on this acc!)

request :: i desperately need a paul fic based on diet pepsi by addison rae i dont know why i js think its such a perfect combination 🤧 also maybe bed chem by sabrina carpenter is also perfect for him - 🧸 (thank u for the request! i love ovulation songs LOL)

f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist || more here!

Ollie Bearman | 87 size kink

He's aware that he's bigger than most people, but he loves comparing how much smaller you are to him. Hand sizes, height, weight, anything. It makes him so happy to know that he's stronger than you, it makes him feel so masculine and protective.

It's a bit rude, but honestly he doesn't care - he loves treating you like a rag doll. Using one hand to pin both of your hands down above your head so he can use you without you clawing at his back. Easily separating your thighs from each other with his strength even if you try to close them. Or his favorite, simply lifting you up into the air and fucking you while standing up - gripping your waist with two hands and lifting you up and down on him with such ease.

But don't worry, after being so mean to you he's gentle at the end. Cuddling you in his arms, he's always going to be the big spoon. Brushing your hair to the side and cupping your face, telling you that you did amazing even though you were a pillow princess.

Paul Aron | 17 corruption

There's just something about ruining your innocent image. It doesn't matter if you're a virgin or not, but the way that you're perceived by the public being so different from how he sees you. The media sees you as a sweet and quiet person, more reserved than others.

Yet he sees you in ways no one else is allowed to. And he loves that, he loves knowing that he's ruining your image, he's the one making you act so out of character.

Wearing things like a cute sweater, innocent skirts, and bows in your hair make him go crazy. He doesn't want you to take them off, he'd rather fuck you while wearing those so he can see this sweet girl get her brains fucked out.

Pepe Marti | 21 cock warming (lwk edging but it depends)

He's a busy guy with a lot of training to do. So the best way to stay close together is to simply just cock warm, it makes perfect sense. You sit on his lap, his dick in you, while he stim races for hours on ends. His bare chest is so warm and comfortable, you can't help but try to fall asleep.

But you're never able to, because the second he crashes or finishes his race - he relieves his feelings onto you. Thrusting into you by surprise, going at a rapid and fast pace. He'll only stop once he's over his anger or the next race loads in.

And once it does, he stops instantly and locks into his race. So you're left there, edged and overstimulated from the past times you've came all over him. It's confusing in your guts, but it's better to feel full than empty.

Zane Maloney | 05 overstimulation

Being a racer requires being an adrenaline junkie and good health. Perfect for you, since you get the honors of having your brains get fucked out by Zane every time he's free. He loves using all his energy and pent up anger on you. He'll spend hours fucking you without him even cumming once, to make sure that you get the best experience.

But it's never boring, as if could be with him. He loves trying new positions and adding different stimulations for you. Reverse cowgirl, doggy style, 69, every position ever made has been tried by Zane and you. Every single sex toy has also been tried by Zane and you, no matter how odd or weird.

Not only is it a good way for him to get his energy out, but he's also just a curious person. Seeing you react to certain touches, hearing you moan just a bit louder, all of it is worth it to him. It makes him so happy to know that he's making you feel good. He doesn't even care how long he has to wait till he finally cums, because any time with you is good time.

(Zane is deadass so cute like omg, why have I never looked at him??? he has tattoos? listens to podcasts for fun?? loves the US and the diverse culture??? the cutest fucking gummy smile I've ever seen????? I love him now)

f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist || more here!

[huginsmemory]

Ford's Dreams; Attraction and Asexuality

In Bill's quips in TBOB on what the characters dream about, the quip he had on Ford caught my eye: "Sixer dreams about a pop quiz that asks him "what are you attracted to?" He usually writes "I'm attracted to logic and preparation." Not sure what to call that! Plansexual?". Immediately upon reading it, it made me question the implicit meanings of that small blurb, on Ford's sexuality (as someone whose aroace) and on the potential reason why such a dream was reoccurring, which I've explored below:

Extra addition added (Jan 6 2025)!

The first of two pages in TBOB on Bill's quips on characters dreams; this page includes Ford's, Dippers, Mabel's and Wendy's dream comments.

First of all, there are two types of quips Bill makes about the characters dreams. First, and the main type of comment, are negatively connotated, generally close to or even are nightmares. Dipper, about over hearing his parents fight about divorce, Mabel who has nightmares about waddles dying, Wendy who dreams about her Mom, who died, Stan's about Ford getting stuck in his science fair experiment, and Pacifica about the lumberjack ghost and blood that doesn't wash off her hands. Most of these are things that play off subconscious or conscious fears or grief (or memories in relation to fear or grief). The second type of quip, are goofs; such as Robbie's real hair colour, or Blubs and Durland only dreaming about each other (both on the other page, not depicted). So where does Ford's comment for in? At first glance, Ford's dream quip somewhat comes out as a goof (especially considering the horrible things he's gone through and seen). But for a central, serious character, and considering the context of the book, I really don't think this is a goof, but more of the first type of quip, on darker/nightmare sort of dreams.

But if it's is a nightmare, then why would a pop quiz about what he's attracted to be nightmare material?

First of all, regarding the set up of the dream, a quiz explicitly implies that you are being judged on your answer. There is a rubric for right or wrong answers, and someone, in a higher position of power, often in an academic institution, judges you by this. Ford is a character that's been clearly driven for the good first half of his life by excellency in academic achievement, and this implies that it's very important to him to get the quiz correct, to have the right answer, and that he fears being wrong.

Now on the subject matter of what the quiz entails; the subject of romance and attraction. Regarding canon, romance isn't one we get particularly clear images on with Ford, compared to Stan who flirts and literally goes out on a date during the series. We only really ever get two direct human interactions that could be implied to be considered romantic in nature (sorry fiddauthor's, there isn't anything from Ford's side of things that imply any extra feelings beyond cherished friend; Fiddleford in the other hand...). These are when he speaks to a girl at a dance and gets juice thrown on him, and in Journal 3 on the page that decodes on the page about himself to "LITTLE CATHY WHAT A DREAM HELD HER HAND AND MADE HER SCREAM". (There is also technically the one throw away line about Ford dating a siren in one of the Lost Legends comics, which would be the only time we know of Ford actually being in a romantic relationship; but that's something that never gets elaborated on, and when Dipper says that he's literally reading from the Bill page from Journal 3, so I'm unsure on the weight of such a statement). Compulsory heteronormativity aside as demanded by censors, both the implied attempts don't go well, and in the second one it directly implies Ford's six fingers are directly part of the reason why he's undesirable. Ford clearly deeply struggles with belonging around his 'weirdness'; case in point with the whole page about it in Journal 3. In this case, his bad luck in romance as a teen, possibly as a result of his 'wierdness', continues to alienate him from other people. As a result, a quiz focusing on romance may further remind Ford about his 'wrongness' as he doesn't have the socially expected romantic relationship.

Stanford's author pages in journal 3. The cipher on the right page decodes to what is described in the paragraph above. Note his emphasis on feeling alienated.

However, what's perhaps more telling about it is that the quiz asks what are you attracted too?, which is more sexual than really romantic in nature. And it's telling because what Ford puts down is logic and preparation. These aren't physical attributes as one may assume to answer these questions; neither is it gendered, or even really based on a person, but rather left open as the concepts (ie, he doesn't say someone who is logical and well-prepared). This Bill even jokes about, with 'plan-sexual'. And Ford's answer is not a typical 'male' answer (in the toxic sense, but also, just generally, since people experience sexual attraction) which Bill also notes with the joke. This 'incorrect' answer could be construed as another thing that's wrong with him, especially back in the day; emphasizing again Ford's wrong-ness and alienation.

Not to mention, beyond those two instances described above (interestingly, these occur previous to Ford's falling out with Stan, in which after he highly prioritizes academic achievement) Ford shows no interest in romantic relationships. This disinterest in pursuing romance is contrary to a lot of people who are still workaholics who have significant others/hook-up on the weekend in their meager time off. Ford's general disinterest in romance is also something that others him, with how our society puts so much emphasis on romantic and sexual relationships. And this is something that IMMEDIATELY caught my eye as someone whose within the general ballpark of aroace; there is a huge amount of alienation from society when you are disinterested in sexual/romantic relationships. Especially when toxic masculinity expects you to constantly be horny. So having someone ask you that question of what you are attracted too is awkward, and depending on the audience, socially difficult question to field. And often an answer to that comes out sounding exactly like Ford's, based on personality rather than physical attributes, if you don't decide to come out (not that Ford would know queer jargon anyways). So this question, posed in a quiz, with Ford being quite Ace-coded, would bring up these feelings of alienation, along with those about failure on not having the right 'answer' regarding attractiveness and the failure of not having a girlfriend.

The infamous Billford page in TBOB, of 'one thing led to another'. Also note Ford saying that Bill's "really got it all figured out".

Now, beyond that, we're also reading this in the context of TBOB. Even before the new info in TBOB, Ford openly worshipped Bill; and in TBOB it becomes clear that they certainly had something going on between them (cough, one thing lead to another, cough). This suggests that Ford found Bill attractive in some form of attraction, whether romantic, sexual or queer-platonic-ish. This especially so, considering the answer Ford puts down; logic and preparation. Bill, who corrected and furthered Ford's knowledge, who came to him as a being of pure knowledge (logic), and who helped him plan the portal, who ironically also had other plans of world domination beyond that (preparation). Bill fits the description, even if he's not human, but Ford's not bothered by that, Ford's a freak himself and it's clear in finding that acceptance he's ecstatic (freak4freak). And that attraction, that care Ford had/has for Bill? Now that's something that's horrifying, something that's filled with guilt, terror, and also embarrassment and fear of how others will react; case in point with Ford literally ripping those journal pages out so the others don't know about the extent of his and Bill's relationship, and in TBOB he acknowledges that. And that's not to mention the potential additives of negative emotions from failing to have attraction for the right person, from failing to meet toxic masculinity standards, and the emphasis of being a freak that made him fall for Bill. Now that's emotionally negatively charged for a fucking nightmare.

Like. Fuck. What are you attracted too? The being that I thought was a god of pure knowledge and thought that strung me along like a fish on line with bait of knowledge and companionship, and I ate that bait, hook, line, and sinker, so deep within my belly I fell in love with him; the being that betrayed me, that wants to destroy my world and used me to do it. The being I shouldn't even love in the first place, because you're supposed to love what's normal, but I've never been able to do that as a freak show. The being I've spent half my life hunting down to kill. And now here I am, with this fucking mess of my own making, after threats and torture and the world ending, and some small fucking part of me still loves him.

So, yeah. I don't think that's just a comedy line. I think that's a line that potentially has way more about Ford's feelings of alienation, of his failure to be attracted to the right person, of guilt and fear around his relationship with Bill, and especially so of others perceiving it.

EDIT (05/01/2025): Also for your consideration, as mentioned in the tags by @vespertin-y and @5p4ced-0ut, these DIRECT QUOTES BY FORD IN TBOB. ABOUT WHY ONE WOULD MAKE A DEAL WITH BILL.

All the scenarios listed by Ford apply to himself;

You're at a desperate low? Failing to find, or prove the universal weirdness theorum; but really, truly beneath that, being basically completely alone for all the years since college, and being desperately lonely and seeking affection and acceptance.

Lost something dear to you? A bit more abstract, but Ford's alone, and he's alone because he chose to lose Stan, to seek acceptance through academic achievement. And it's his loneliness that truly drives him to Bill; not academic achievement, even if that's part of the reason. He's trying to fill that void of love and acceptance thats been there since Stan left. That's something that's dear to him that he's lost. Although it could also just be a nod to Bill's magic, in that he can use it to fulfill things.

Throes of all-consuming monomaniacal ambition? Do I need to say anything about this? Ford caused the apocalypse (partly) out of his ambition.

Now of course these all lead up to the very last one: or perhaps you're just attracted to things that hurt you? This heavily implies Ford's felt, as I outlined above, some sort of attraction to Bill.

It's also a strong thing to say about their relationship. What's interesting about this one, is that at the beginning, their relationship wasn't a painful relationship for Ford; codependent as fuck, sure, but no one was actively hurting the other. It wasn't until they began to become jealous and petty with each other when Fiddleford began working that there is resentment and emotional pain, and then there's the big reveal, and all there is of their relationship for Ford is emotional pain and betrayal. In that manner, he wasn't originally attracted to Bill because of masochism in the literal sense; but rather due to rather an attraction built on genuine connection and companionship that ultimately ended horribly.

So basically, the 'attracted to someone that hurts you', is another line that falls under the heavy implication that Ford felt some sort of attraction to Bill; and that Ford struggles with shame and guilt around his attraction to Bill, especially as the comment is actually a lie (a common abuse victim lie) that minimizes their relationship, especially from Bill's side.

But he still says the sentence. So why is he lying/believing he's telling the truth? That comes down to what he's trying to diminish, and the guilt he has around attraction. The sentence, written of course post series when Ford is deeply jaded about Bill and his relationship, is written in a deeply bitter way. And it's a very self-directedly bitter way! Of course the being I fall in love with ends up betraying and hurting me; I never can do anything correctly. By saying that 'he's attracted to pain', he implicitly within the statement blames himself for the abuse, construing it as some way inevitable that this would occur due to his 'wrong' nature, especially around attraction as evident above. This self-blame and 'inevitability' is actually common to those who have low self-esteem and are victims of abuse, which Ford is. Ford already is shown to feel guilt and shame around his attraction to Bill for various reasons, such as the failure to be attracted to the right being, and doubly so with it ending up being an abusive relationship. This self-blame of 'i'm attracted to pain' denies that Ford was seeking genuine connection, and found it in Bill; it construes Bill as always having hurt Ford. Which is untrue! But this does function as a way to suppresses Ford's possible remaining positive emotions he has around Bill (by demonizing him as something horrible, understandable as he's been trying to kill him for 30 years) and also provides Ford an illusion of power over the situation; of course I had and remained in a relationship with Bill because I enjoy pain. It's easier to say (and delude yourself you like it, and you abuser may even encourage that, to avoid the pain) then admit you don't know how to escape, or fear escaping. And I think Ford did just that.

(Also, side note: What's also a kicker is that we are creatures of habit. So relationship dynamics we grow up in, are often ones we tend re-create later in life, because those are dynamics we are comfortable in, even if they are terrible dynamics. But that doesn't mean that it will always, nor have to be recreated. In some way, Ford did this; he recreated a dynamic from his father, in always looking up to Bill, and requiring praise from him to support his self esteem.)

Also, contextually, this negative recount of Bill makes sense as it's functioning as a warning for the reader within the page; informing the reader that no matter what, Bill will hurt you if you make a deal. This embarrassment and shame about Bill is contrary to some readings, in which Ford confesses to having cared about Bill; but this page is early in TBOB! It's before the pages all the rest of the family put in; it's possible this page was added 'before' the rest of the family read TBOB and Ford comes to acceptance with his feelings around Bill.

[miley1442111]

all alone-s.reid

-------------------------

-------------------------

summary: spencer doesn't want to get hurt, too bad it hurts you in the process

pairing: spencer reid x fem reader

warnings: spencer's a dick in this, reader puts him in his place :)

-------------------------

You were the new office genius. You’d just joined straight out of the academy, but with your genius, and your experience, you’d been brought straight to the BAU. 

What experience, you may ask? 

Your psychiatry and psychology degrees, oh, and the eidetic memory, IQ of 190, and Hyperthymesia you had. 

And the experience you’d had with a certain serial killer. Your father, Jason O’Neill, had been caught a few months ago, and after that you’d been given a full-time position. You got on well with the team, though one clearly didn’t like you. Dr. Spencer Reid. Apparently he was your equal in intelligence, though you never knew, he refused to speak to you. You probably had a more bubbly personality than the BAU regularly hired, but that had been disproven upon meeting Penelope, the Technical Analyst. 

He just didn’t like you. Oh well. It wasn’t going to ruin your life. You didn’t really give a shit. 

He gave a shit. He cared far too much. 

“Spencer, I’ve got your coffee, extra sugar,” you smiled as you handed out the drinks you’d brought the team from the cafe down the road from the small police station. You handed it to him, not waiting for an answer, he never gave one.

 Emily kicked him under the table. “What’s with you two?”

Spencer rolled his eyes and went back to his book. “Nothing.”

“She’s the nicest person on this team Spencer, yet you treat her like she’s just there for decoration.”

“She’s only good for two things, getting coffee, and keeping quiet,” he snapped, not realising you were behind him. You frowned, then hit him over the head with your bag as you were walking past, not sparing him a glance. 

Honestly, Spencer was practically in love with you since the second he’d met you. You were perfect, gorgeous smile, always something kind to say, always an interesting fact on your beautiful lips. He thought he could listen to you talk forever. Your voice made his day. Your eyes on his made him feel things he never thought he’d be lucky enough to feel. 

But he’d never let his guard down again. Not after Maeve. Never again. 

He’d rather be alone, though everyday you became more tempting.

Everyday he wished he could be with you.

Everyday, just like today. 

-------------------------

“Doctor,” Your voice rang through the precinct. “Aaron wants you.”

In recent weeks you’d adopted calling him ‘Doctor’, rather than Spencer. His name from your lips often went straight to his heart, he was a romantic, after all. Now ‘Doctor’ sounded clinical and impersonal. It was maddening. 

He didn’t answer, he just stared at his book, making his stand. 

“Doctor Reid, Aaron wants you,” You stated, standing beside him. “Reid-”

“Say my name,” he deadpanned, staring at his book, but not reading the words. 

“I just did,” you scoffed. “We aren’t school children, go to Aaron.’

You called everyone else by their first name, why not him? He knew the answer of course, but it still didn’t take away from his curiosity. Why had it affected you so much?

“Can you stop being a huge asshole for one day and just treat me like I’m a person and not just something here for you to fuck with? I deserve a spot on this team just like you do,” you boomed, smacking his book out of his hands. 

“I don’t think you do,” he said, standing up to his full height. 

“Well I guess it’s your lucky day because I’m leaving in a week,” you snarled back, then walked off to go back to the rest of the team. 

What? You were leaving?

Spencer caught up to you in 4 quick steps and he pulled you to the side of the corridor, shading you both from prying eyes in a broom closet. “You’re leaving?”

His eyes were frantic and… scared? You’d never seen him look at you with anything other than indifference, so this was quite the change.

“Yes.”

“Why?” He pleaded.

“Why? You are seriously asking why I’m leaving?” you sarcastically sighed. “Gosh, I guess it was that the coffee’s shit, or maybe it was the fact that I work in a hostile working environment!”

“That’s corporate bullshit-”

“No. It’s your bullshit. I have been nothing but kind to you in my few months here and every day it’s the same blank stare and shitty comments. Go fuck yourself Doctor Reid.”

You tried to pry out of the grip he had on your shoulders, but you couldn’t. He stood there, shocked and shameful at his actions. 

“I-I’m sorry,” he sighed, letting go of you to run his hands through his hair. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Yeah, you are. Now if you’ll excuse me-”

“I’m in love with you,” he admitted. 

“Pardon?” You squeaked, jaw-dropped. 

“I’m in love with you… a-and I didn’t think it was a good idea because the last time I was involved with someone like that-”

“Spencer, I don’t care. I’m leaving the BAU. For good.”

Spencer’s stomach sank. He was too late. You waited for a minute as he just stared at you. He was trying to process it, realise his mistakes,and find a way to make you stay in a 15 second window. 

“Bye Spencer,” you sighed and left him in that broom closet. 

All alone.

-------------------------

criminal minds masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, marvel, top gun, challengers, the bear, the hunger games, obx+)

[willowsages-blog]

the charming man: Dean Winchester x female reader

Warnings: demon Dean x innocent female reader

“It’s not going to fit.” You say warily.

“We both know that’s not true.”

Dean's sitting in front of you, hand lazily moving up and down. You raise an eyebrow.

“Are you forgetting you took my virginity like only a week ago?”

He smirks at that, hand movements speeding up slightly.

Dean has spent the past week fucking you, spending all his free time trying to get you in bed with him. He seemed to be insatiable, having had a taste of you and not wanting to let go.

You were brushing your teeth one evening when he comes up behind you, snaking his arms around your waist.

You smile around your toothbrush, always welcoming the presence of your boyfriend. You had just figured this was his typical clinginess, wanting to be beside you every minute he can until you fully take him in through the mirror, noticing his appearance was different.

His hair was tousled as if he’s been running his hands through it for the past couple of minutes, and he was already planting sloppy kisses along your neck, trailing from your collarbone upwards.

He’s suddenly murmuring into your ear, “Wanna see you on top of me, angel.”

Everything you two had done for the most part has been pretty standard, missionary every night and alternating sloppy head in the morning.

You hadn’t ventured too far into the sex world, and now that he was bringing new positions up, nerves were starting to ignite in your stomach.

“ I, I don’t know how.” You admit, knowing that that was already obvious to him. However, you were still caught up in wanting to impress him and make every new experience for you even better for his years of experience.

“Don’t care, I’ll show you.” He mumbles, still focused on marking up your neck, moving on to another side when he gets bored of the other.

Which is how you found yourself standing in front of him, you still in bra and underwear as he’s completely naked.

He’s stroking himself, watching you like you're his own personal playboy, and you can’t help but clench your thighs at the imagery.

“C’mere.” Dean grabs your waist, pulling you, so you’re directly on top of his upper thighs. You squirm slightly, and Dean can feel you dripping onto his leg.

“Why don’t you want to?” He’s not teasing you, just simply wanting to understand your boundaries and ease any nerves.

“Are you forgetting the part about you being too big?” You roll your eyes.

While he had been able to bottom out since the first time, it still was a stretch, and he had to prepare you every time, fingering and eating you out before he could finally chase his own relief.

You were unsure how you were going to be able to focus and be in control like how he clearly expected; you were so used to him guiding you through everything.

You trusted Dean, knowing that he would never settle for anything less than the best for you.

And you know this was all still part of a deep-rooted insecurity of him having more experience than you, but he leans up to kiss you deeply,

and you’re moving on his thighs again, dragging wetness across his tattoo. He groans lowly in his throat, looking down at the small wet spot on his leg before looking back up at you.

“Want you to fuck me. Please - angel.” There’s something so pretty about the way begging sounds coming from him that you nod, knowing that he could drag you to hell and back if he asked nicely enough.

You lean in to kiss Dean, feeling brave, and slowly slip your mouth open, tongue brushing against his. You position yourself, so you’re sitting on top of him as he trails his kisses down your neck and chest, leaving dark marks along the way.

“ I know you’re wet for me, want it just as much as I do.” He murmurs after a particularly harsh suck on your collarbone, dragging a finger under your clothed center to prove his point.

You buck your hips slightly, missing the way he drags his finger, so it just barely brushes your clit, and Dean gets the message, pushing one finger in between your slit.

You’re used to this, familiar with the way he fingers you and stretches you out so you can take all of him.

He adds another and then another, watching at the way your body takes three of his thick fingers.

In his defense, he is patient. He curls his fingers inside of you, repeatedly moving as you continue to leak more and more for him. You moan slightly, chest arching into him.

You keep moaning, louder and louder, until your cumming all over his hand, only the first orgasm of the night.

“Fuck, you sound so pretty for me, angel.” Your face heats up slightly, hiding in his shoulder while he sucks your arousal off his fingers shamelessly.

You’re still not used to his excessive praising even if your body reacts differently. Still,

it does light a fire in you, wanting to keep hearing the sweet compliments come out of his mouth.

He's helping you get undressed, unclasping your bra and tearing your underwear off until you push him back,

making sure he’s flat against the bed and rising so your pussy is directly above him.

Dean watches intently, eyes never leaving the way you slowly sink down on him.

He lets you get adjusted, getting used to the fact you can feel every throbbing inch of him. You both let out a soft moan,

his head falling back when you slowly rise back up.

You get to the point where only his tip is still inside you before dropping back down again, slowly grinding up and down his dick.

It’s not breakneck, nothing too incredible, you still trying to get used to the pace and too wrapped up in your own head on what’ll make him feel good.

, Dean, however, is in his own world. On Cloud 9, as he watches you drag yourself up and down, up and down.

His eyes are glued to where the two of you are connected,

trying to commit every single moment to memory, so he never forgets this.

“Look so fucking good like this.” He growls, placing a hand on your ass, not doing anything but to ground himself in this euphoria he seems to have found himself in.

He leans up to suck on your nipple, harshly sucking on your tit while playing with the other.

You whine loudly, rhythm faltering as his tip grazes against your g-spot.

“Fuck, Dean. So big.” The only thing that comes to mind, is because he is. Even underneath you,

you feel overwhelmed by just him: by his body, by his dick, by the twisted look of pleasure on his face,

by the low grunts that keep spilling out whenever you twist your hips a certain way. It’s overwhelming, and his presence seems larger than life when he’s stretched out like this underneath you.

He wraps an arm around your waist, noticing how your pace is slowly starting to falter as you get tired, and starts thrusting up into you, planting his feet so he can reach even further and deeper than before.

Your moans pick back up, watching as his face is set in concentration.

It’s funny how you had set out on making this night about him, and yet he’s grinding his hips into yours, set on making you cum before him.

He smiles smugly up at you, watching as your eyes roll back when he thrusts deep inside.

“Shit, Dean. I thought I was supposed to be - fuck” You whine out the last part loudly, him moving his hand down to rub your clit. “ S'posed to be fucking you.”

He doesn’t say anything, choosing to watch your body tremble slightly above his. Between your tits in his mouth, him rubbing your clit, and the incessant rolling of his hips, your orgasm is fast approaching.

Your nipple pops from his mouth, nipples wet and shiny from his spit as he looks up at you with his pupils blown.

“Wanna see you cum all over my dick instead.” And if his actions before didn't do it, how fucking wrecked his voice sounds causes you to squirt harder than you ever have before,

your orgasm lighting every part of your body alive as your body trembles on top of him. You moan loudly, collapsing on top of him as ragged breaths come out of you, trying to catch your breath.

Dean keeps thrusting underneath you, too close to his own release to want to stop and feel the way you squeeze tightly around him, your own high forcing his body into overdrive. He’s snapping his hips relentlessly, and it’s almost too much for your body to handle, pubic bone brushing your clit into overstimulation.

You whine out, not knowing whether it’s for him to stop or keep going. But one look at the fucked out, determined look on his face gives you your answer for you.

“Baby,” you purr. “Cum.” It’s a simple demand, but it’s enough to get Dean to falter, Cumming deep inside you as he grinds through his orgasm. He lets out a deep, guttural moan, you are getting used to the familiar feeling of him pulsing inside you.

He leans back onto the pillow, you falling on top of him. Both your chests rising and falling in tandem, as you listen to his erratic heartbeat try to find a steady rhythm.

“Have I ever mentioned how fucking hot you are?”

“Once or twice, yeah.” You mumble, sleepiness falling over you.

“You’re fucking incredible. That- that - was fucking incredible.” You start to grow shy under his constant praise and are quick to point out his work as well.

“Even if you did half the work?”

“Next time, you can be in charge,” Dean promises.

You smile wickedly, not even trying to hide the mischief in your eyes.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

[sheep-shearing]

The characterization of Diavolo in season 3 of the og game was peak to me. I know his cards are pride, and thats definitely there to see, but he's soo envy-coded to me.

Throughout almost every interactation we have with him, it's about him wanting others positions. He wants the brothers as friends, he wants Lucifer especially, and he inserts himself into their lives to get a bit of their love for himself. When MC becomes a part of their family, Diavolo is jealous of both sides. He wants to be accepted as a part of their family like MC, and he wants MC to himself like the brothers seem to claim them. He wants, he wants, he wants.

Thats not to say Diavolo isn't a genuinely kind person! He goes out of his way to listen and help others, and he's a respected ruler for a reason. But a core aspect of his character is his desire to be someone else, he even makes a point to tell Belphie he's "a child who never gets to experience anything." All those stupid events and parties he railroads others into is his attempt to mimic what others are allowed to have. Being a prince isn't enough, he's always going to he envious of what others have that he doesn't.

Diavolo's envy is also what makes him a fantastic counterpoint to Levi. They BOTH spend their time wishing to be someone else, the difference is that while Levi gains more confidence alongside MC, Diavolo gets worse.

Diavolo, by the point of the og game, has accepted that he won't be a part of the brothers family. But then, MC goes and does just that. MC acomplishes what he's wanted and been envious of for millenia in just a year. He wants what their family has, and he's also envious of the brothers having MC to themselves. It's just an absolutely tragic dynamic, seeing as Diavolo is just unable to understand why they don't accept him. Diavolo just doesn't have the social graces to understand how MC was able to help the brothers, and how they had to suffer for it. All he's able to see is that the family he's yearned for, and the human he loves are intertwined in a way he doesn't know how to replicate.

[cockasinthebird]

“It’s prom, you have to go!” Steve demands with a smile, standing there with his arm thrown over Donna’s shoulders.

Billy scowls at him, then looks down at Stacy, who’s holding his hand near her heart, big eyes bursting with excitement at the prospect of going to prom with the keg king.

“Yeah Billy, come on,” Donna talks between blowing up her gum.

“Pretty please?” Stacy begs of him.

This is what the brochures in the counselor’s office means when they write about peer pressure.

“I don’t have anything to wear,” he throws out an excuse.

“You can borrow something from me, don’t worry about it, Hargrove.” Steve’s still smiling. He’s not personally invested in prom itself, but teasing and annoying Billy is too much fun.

Billy isn’t going to get out of this without a yes. “Fine.”

And Stacy bursts out in glee, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek.

After school Steve and Billy hang out at the Harrington mansion, with the blonde on the queen sized bed, lying down with his legs over the edge.

“Why does this matter so much to you?”

“It’s our final year in high school, I think we deserve a little fun!” Steve says with certain excitement.

“And prom, of all things, is your idea of fun?” Billy raises himself up on his elbows. “Can’t we just hang out by the quarry and get drunk or high, or both?”

“Look on the bright side, you’ll probably get lucky with Stacy after prom!”

“Harrington, I can get lucky with her anytime I want.”

Steve’s standing by the walk-in-closet, shuffling through his fancy clothes, when he pulls out a light blue suit. “Doesn’t mean you can’t put in a little effort from time to time. Here.”

Billy gets up and walks the short distance toward his best friend.

“This goes well with your eyes.”

Their fingers graze as the clothes exchange hands, and Steve is never going to get used to his heart leaping through his chest whenever they touch, but he doesn’t linger before letting go of the suit.

Yet he watches Billy, who either doesn’t know or doesn’t care, as he steps toward the mirror.

He pulls his white tee over his head of golden curls, and at the sight of his bare, toned top, Steve turns around at the speed of light to rummage around for another suit for himself. Still, he steals a few glances over his shoulder, catching Billy undress down to a pair of possibly too snug briefs.

“I don’t even know how to dance to that cheesy music they’ll be playing at prom,” Billy admits as he zips up the trousers.

The suit is a little long in the leg, but it looks good around his chest and broad shoulders.

“It’s super easy to do, don’t worry, just let the music do its thing.” Steve keeps his back turned, he already knows what to wear, but his attention on Billy might be too obvious if he just stares at him like he wants to.

“No, I mean, slow-dancing, I’ve never…”

At that the brunette turns around, looking at Hargrove quizzically. “You’ve never been to a dance before?”

Billy looks away in something akin to shame, worried about getting judged for his lack of romantic experience. It’s always just been about sex between him and girls, never anything like this.

“I can show you how,” Steve blurts out without much thought, but at least he sounded somewhat casual saying it, and not as if it’s a desperate move to get closer to Billy.

Who meets his gaze in the mirror before turning around. “Yeah?”

His voice softens Steve and he smiles kindly. “Yeah. Come here.”

He barely hesitates to help out a friend, walking closer and getting into position as the lead.

“I’ll show you how it’s done first, then you can take the lead after.”

“Alright Harrington, show me how it’s done,” Billy speaks with unintentional enthusiasm, breaking his role as the tough guy for just a mere moment, but Steve doesn’t comment on it, thankfully.

“Grab my hand, the other on my shoulder here,” Steve instructs with forced calm, his heart beating him senseless as they touch.

And when he places his hand on Billy’s back, he swears he can see his face change color.

“And then you just sway side to side.”

Billy’s looking at their feet, avoiding eye contact the best he can in case Harrington could read his racing mind. “Is that all?”

“Well, if you’re lucky, she’ll let you place your hand here…” Steve lets his hand slide down to the small of Billy’s back.

Steve feels like he’s going to combust, Billy feels like he’s going to melt.

“Then what?” 

Billy dares look up till their eyes meet, breaths intermingling, standing closer and closer together till there’s no more room between their bodies.

“Then… she’ll rest her head on your chest…”

Blue eyes fall down to stare at Steve’s chest, then slowly, Billy lowers his head to rest there, and he can hear how vigorously Steve’s heart is beating. He decides it probably doesn’t mean what he wants it to.

“What comes next?” Billy asks, maybe a little too hopeful, for next Steve lets go of him and steps away.

“O-oh, nothing much, maybe you’ll kiss or something, I don’t know.”

“Ah, well, that I know how to do.”

They both laugh, but it’s jarringly awkward.

They don’t talk about it after, but things get… tense. Not hostile or anything like how they were at first when they met, everything is just awkward from that point on, even their so-called girlfriends notice and ask them about it, but they’re evasive about those questions every time.

It’s not like they stop hanging out, or even do it less, there’s just a palpable distance between them now, sitting further apart, talking less; it’s all so stilted leading up to the prom.

Then the night comes, and they’re standing there by the punch bowl that hasn’t even been spiked, a little closer than what is normal lately, just not as close as they both want.

Donna and Stacy are out on the dancefloor together, dancing wildly to music that neither Steve nor Billy likes.

The two of them take turns glancing at each other, thinking they’re so secretive about it until they both turn their heads at the same time, and for a split second there’s so much unsaid between them suddenly becoming too much, and their eyes flee again.

“Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” comes on, and their girlfriends rush up to them to grab their hands and force them onto the dancefloor filled with couples.

And everything goes as Steve said it would; one hand on the small of her back, the other in her hand, her head on his chest, Billy feels like he’s doing exemplary, yet he doesn’t feel what he felt with Harrington.

He knows what it means, of course, has known for a while.

But he’s fine with living in denial, or he thought he was until he catches those brown doe eyes staring at him with an almost longing sense.

It’s as if Stacy notices something, and she looks up to catch Billy stare back at Steve.

Thankfully she seems oblivious and simply waves at the other couple, Donna waving back, and then the girls turn to face their boyfriends, who in turn look down at them.

Next lips meet, and for a brief moment Billy focuses only on Stacy, and Steve on Donna, but like magnets to metal, eyes meet again, growing intensity between them as they continue kissing their girls.

Steve’s gaze keeps switching between Hargrove’s crystal clear stare, and how his lips mingle with Stacy’s. The brunette doesn’t know how to feel, for there is so much jealousy in him, and yet… it is trumped by longing.

Longing to be in Stacy’s place, or for Billy to be in Donna’s. He almost forgets to kiss back, but she doesn’t seem to notice or care about it.

Then he does it.

The most bastardly thing he could. Billy brings his tongue into the kiss between himself and Stacy, perhaps a little too much, but fuck… Steve feels it in his gut, and even further down, twitching in his dick at the way Billy kisses so passionately.

He’s only ever heard great things about how Billy kisses, but this? This is the closest he’s been to experiencing it himself, and the temptation is almost too much. If he could have his way, he’d close the short distance between them, pull Billy off of his girlfriend and swallow his tongue himself.

Steve bets Billy tastes like cigarettes and punch, not a great mix no doubt, but he’d give the world for it right now. Their eyes remain locked, chained together, immovable, as Billy full on makes out with his dancing partner.

Although it feels like forever since the song began, it ends too soon, and Billy steps away from Stacy, both of them smiling all satisfied and with slight panting.

“Is something wrong, Steve?” Donna asks, looking all innocent and sweet.

He takes a deep breath. “Yeah, I just think I had too much to drink, I’ll be back soon.” And before she can object he rushes out the room in the direction of the bathroom.

Steve’s in utter turmoil, pacing back and forth in the locker room of the gym where the prom is taking place. Flashes of Billy’s kisses ingrained in his mind, and if he closes his eyes hard enough, he can place himself there instead of Stacy.

The door creaks open, and Billy rushes in, looking somewhere between worried and determined, stopping just a few feet away from Harrington.

They stare at one another, waiting for words but there simply are none left, only action will do.

Meeting halfway their lips clash together, and it is pure perfection, tongue and teeth and a little too much force from unbridled passion that has been building up for who knows how long.

They stumble backwards until Steve’s back meets with the lockers, his hands running through Billy’s hair, whilst Hargrove himself feels every inch of Steve’s body, from his shoulders to his chest, his sides and hips, where he locks on with a vice grip and brings their bodies together.

“Billy…” Steve whispers, and Billy gives them both a few inches of space.

“Yeah?” He’s so breathless.

“I… I…” 

“Yeah.”

[runningfrom2am]

leveling the playing field // epilogue

summary: seven years later.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.7k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. this part is quite tame! idk, discussion of the games as a concept is pretty messed up? obviously r & coryo are both delusional but whats new??

a/n: this is it :') thank you all so so so much for all the love on this fic! it means so much to me that you guys enjoyed it! but don't get too sad (like me) bc i am not ready to let them go so i'll probably do like blurbs and stuff ab this series so stick around for those!

series masterlist // playlist

~ seven years later ~

"You've got this, Darling. It's going to be perfect." Coryo insists, kissing your temple as you relentlessly adjust your hair, trying to tame any imaginary flyaways in your flawlessly straightened hair.

"As long as it's not a disaster..." You mumble, giving up on your hair and refocusing on making sure you have all your papers.

Arena map? Check. Tribute and mentors list? Check. Schedule?

"With you in charge, I do not doubt that it will be anything short of flawless. I know you. You wouldn't have it any other way." Your husband assures you, taking your spot in front of the large mirror to adjust his red coat, matching to yours.

You sigh, tucking the large stack of meticulously organized papers into your bag. "I mean, does anyone honestly expect it to be perfect? It's my first games... There's a small margin for error, right?"

"No." Coryo replies sternly, turning to face you. He grabs your chin as you groan, forcing your eyes to meet his. "There's no room for error, but it will be perfect. So don't worry." He plants a gentle kiss on your lips. "And if you need anything, just call."

"Okay..." You hum, smiling as you look up at him. "I'm going to miss you, though." Your smile shifts into a pout, and he kisses your forehead.

"I know. I'll miss having my assistant around, too." He mumbles against the softness of your skin.

Your time working together under Dr. Gaul had been a dream. Why did everything have to change all at once? You've been together every day for years, and you had the most fun helping plan the games and pitching all your ideas to Dr. Gaul, staying up late over ideas due the next morning and too many cups of coffee, giggling over how funny it would be to see a games where the people of the Districts got to vote over who to send in.

"Do you think it's because that's kind of what happened to Lucy Gray?" You giggled in the dark, feeling Coryo's form shift under the blankets next to you before you felt his breath hit the side of your face.

"Now that you mention it..." He laughed quietly. "Yeah, it totally was."

You had always come up with Dr. Gaul's favourite ideas together. But now, she was gone. And it was just you. You honestly thought that woman was some kind of immortal beast, but clearly, no one is fully bulletproof.

She had offered the position of Head Gamemaker to both of you in her will. You and Coriolanus had worked well together, she had always said that about you. That the two of you were her favourite experiment.

"No, Darling. You take it."

"What? No, we've always done everything together." You protest, furrowing your brow. "She's offered it to both of us, we can do whatever we want, no more waiting for her approval. We can run with it! Come on, it'll be so fun, Coryo."

"That's your dream. Not mine." He smiled at you, brushing his thumb over your cheek.

You frowned, focussing yourself on pulling the buttons of his shirt so they were perfectly aligned. "Are... Are you sure? I don't know if I can do it without you."

"You'll never do anything without me, you know that." He hummed, pushing your hair out of your eyes. "If you need help, just ask. I'm right here. Always."

"I'm not an assistant anymore." You laugh. "Technically, you're kind of my assistant now." You shrug, leaning down to pull on your shoes, white with bottoms red to match your coat.

"Okay, well, I wouldn't put it like that..." He laughs, shaking his head at you and holding out a hand to steady you while you adjust yourself to accommodate your heels.

You take it gratefully, standing up and brushing off your coat once more with your free hand. "Be honest, Coryo, do you think the bear is too much? I feel a little like it's cheating, they don't even really have a chance. Do you get what I mean?"

"Darling," He cups your cheeks in his hands. "No one will be able to look away. That's the most important part."

"I just... I want it to be something different. Something people will still want to watch."

"Everyone will be watching." He assures you. "Now, let's get going. You have a big day ahead."

"Yes sir, Mister President."

"My name is Lucretius "Lucky" Flickerman, your favourite and only host of the annual Hunger Games on Capitol TV, and I have a very special treat for you all this morning before the beginning of the games." You gently remove your coat as you sit down across from Lucky, holding it out for someone to take before the cameras flit your way, though the live audience can already see you.

"For anyone who lives under a rock, this beautiful woman here with me is our lovely First Lady of Panem, and now, Head Gamemaker, Dr. Y/N Snow." He continues as your coat is taken away, and you smile across at him. "Thank you so much for squeezing us into your very busy schedule. Now, how are you feeling about today, Miss Snow?"

"Doctor is fine." You correct him politely, to which he utters a quick apology. "And I am feeling very good about my first games. Dr. Gaul left some big shoes to fill, but I've been working with her for years so I have some really exciting ideas that I just can't wait for the world to see."

"Yes! I'm certain you do." Lucky grins. "Now, I don't know how much of our audience will remember this, but the first time we met was during the tenth games, I was hosting for the first time and you and your husband were both mentors! Just young academy students with some big dreams, isn't that right?"

You laugh, nodding as he speaks and letting the cheers die down. "Yes, I remember that. All of us were kind of getting a feel for how things would work, and my husband was actually the one who came up with the ideas of betting and sponsorships. He has truly always been such a leader, and so smart. He was the one who asked Dr. Gaul if I could help him with his mentorship, and she agreed, and then she just really loved how well we worked together so she kept us around to study under her all these years. It has been such a fun and kind of... fulfilling journey for us both."

"And now, here you are." He nods at you.

"Here I am." You echo it back to him, waiting for another question.

"Now, we have to address what can only be described as the elephant in the room..." He starts, and you try and hide your confused look as you straighten your posture. If there was some kind of problem you should have been made aware before you set foot on stage. "That summer, after your mentorship. Tell us. What happened? Both of you disappeared off the face of the earth right after your success in the games, then came back with these shiny new internships under Dr. Gaul, how did you swing that?"

"Oh!" You laugh, partially relieved it wasn't about these games, but hesitant because everyone knows better than to bring up the tenth games in any sort of detail. "Well, that was the beginning of our internship with Dr. Gaul, and she wanted us to gain some life experience, so we did some touring of the Districts on our own to get to know the people of Panem better. Neither of us had ever left home before, so it was definitely a unique experience that I think was really good for both of us. It was a super secret thing, for some reason. We weren't even to tell our families."

"I see! Well, I hope you learned everything you sought out to?"

"We did." You nod. "And more."

"Okay, well, with that cleared up, tell us more about the games you have planned for us this year. Is there anything new we should be expecting?"

"Oh, definitely." You nod, smiling wide now that you can once again talk about your games. "But I wouldn't want to spoil anything, so everyone will just have to watch." You shrug.

"I don't know if you are aware of this, Dr. Snow," He leans in a little closer, smile on his face. "But one new thing that we know for sure is changing this year, is that the president, your husband, has made it mandatory to watch the games. Not just here in the Capitol, but everywhere in the Districts as well. He made an announcement just this morning, he wants everyone to see what you've worked so hard for."

"Aw." You blush, pressing your hands to your chest. "That's so sweet! No, I didn't know that." The audience eats up your reaction, and you try to keep your eyes on him instead of acknowledging all the clapping and shouts from below you.

"Well, that's just about the cutest surprise! He has a lot of confidence in you." He laughs, reaching over and patting your leg. "You've all heard it here, he's just as good a husband as he is a president!"

"It's true." You agree, hardly audible over the crowds enthusiasm.

"Speaking of your husband..." He says, turning back to look into the wing of the stage and nodding at someone. "He set us up with a little surprise for you, if you don't mind."

"Oh, please." You laugh, covering your face as your cheeks heat up. "Of course he did." You shake your head, whistles from the audience not helping your blush.

"Okay, you can look now. Don't hide!" Lucky laughs, and you lower your hands from in front of your face to be presented with a bouquet of white and red roses. It wasn't an extravagant gift from him, the amount of roses he has gifted to you since your return from Twelve together is astronomical by now, but it's a gesture you cherish nonetheless. You smile as you take them.

"Beautiful, as always." You grin, making a point of smelling them before handing them back to the assistant who's waiting with a vase for them.

"And we have one more thing here, I believe..." He hums, looking back again while you're distracted passing off the wrapped flowers.

When you turn back to look at him you gasp, hands flying up to cover your mouth, fearless of whether or not you would smudge your lipstick. "Is that for me?" You ask, voice higher in octave from the excitement as one of the stagehands walks out with a small dog, fur dyed a soft shade of red with a matching bow around its neck.

"Indeed it is!" Lucky laughs as you're handed the puppy.

"Oh my god..." You smile, tears brimming in your eyes. "Hi there..."

"I think there's a note for you there too..." Lucky urges you and you grab the tag tied onto the bow. "Mind reading it for us?" He says, holding his handkerchief out to you.

"Thank you," You laugh, dabbing under your eyes with your free hand. "A new assistant to match your shoes." You read, laughing at the inside joke.

Everyone laughs, and you get from Lucky's confused expression that you should explain. "Uh, working under Dr. Gaul we would always joke that he was my assistant and vice versa." You laugh, wiping your eyes again before you continue. "I am so proud of you. Finally, the world will see you as I do. Intelligent, strong, and beautiful. Unstoppable. That's why I love you, you're as pure as the driven Snow."

The audience awe's, but you know none of them get it the way you do. "Another inside joke." You nod at Lucky, trying to hold back from crying so much you turn into a mess.

"I stand corrected. That is the cutest surprise." He points to the dog in your lap. "Both literally and figuratively."

"I don't know what I'll do with it." You laugh, shaking your head as the puppy jumps up against your chest, trying to lick your face.

"How about a name, to start?" Lucky prompts you.

"Oh, gosh. Well..." You giggle, lifting it and setting it back down so it will sit in your lap. It's so small, hardly bigger than your hands. It'll likely never grow larger than your lap. It's perfect. "What about Lucky?" You tease.

"Oh, you flatter me, Y/N. Come on, something better."

"I don't know!" You laugh. "I'm not good at naming... things."

Lucky laughs. "Our Head Gamemaker with no ideas? That seems unlikely."

"Okay, okay. You're just putting me on the spot here, I'm a little nervous." You laugh, stroking over the dog's head. "I tell you what, before the games begin this morning I'll come up with twelve names, assign them randomly to the districts, then whoever shall win the games will determine the name of my dog. Does that sound fair?"

"Ah! That's brilliant!" Lucky laughs, clapping his hands together. "And that's a good incentive for anyone who hasn't yet placed their bets or sent in donations for the tributes! Your donation may just be what gives the First Lady's dog its name. How fun!"

"It'll be interesting." You giggle, looking down at the puppy in your lap. It must have been white before the dye, it took so well. Maybe it will fade into a pink before it grows out its natural white fur- you wouldn't want it to stay red forever, but for show, it was perfect.

"Now, we really shouldn't be taking up any more of your time. You have a busy day ahead!" Lucky says and you nod in agreement, standing up and carefully tucking the small dog under your arm. "Thank you for making time for us, I know I'm looking forward to seeing what you have in store for us."

"Thank you. I really hope you all enjoy the games!" You smile, holding out a hand for him to shake which he takes quickly, then allowing you to walk off the stage.

As predicted by a certain Mister President; Coriolanus Snow, your first games as Head Gamemaker went without a hitch. They were perfect in every way. Capitol citizens were buzzing- not just about the games, the mutts you incorporated into the newly decorated arena, or the most shocking kills, but also about your dog. The people loved her, and so did you. She hardly ever left your lap or your side for the duration of the games, which only lasted a matter of days.

The party your husband threw for you at the presidential palace, your home, at the end of the games was extravagant. Coryo couldn't help but broadcast his pride to all of the Capitol. He loved you; you were his, and he needed everyone to know. Not a soul in all the world was anywhere close to being on your level, and shaping you into the perfect wife and First Lady was what Coriolanus Snow considered his greatest achievement. As you stood next to him, his palm tucked neatly against your lower back, you were perfect. More perfect than you were the day you fought for a spot in the mentorships that he granted you, more perfect than the he first time he kissed you, and more perfect than both of the days he had killed someone for you. Without question, he would do it all again if it meant he would get to hold you even just one more time.

"I'm so proud of you, Love." He gently rubs your back, looking down at you while you overlook your garden from the patio off of your bedroom.

You smile, standing up on your toes to plant a kiss on his cheek. "Snow lands on top." You whisper, biting your lip when you see a shift behind his eyes.

"You bet we do." He hums with a smug smile, lifting you up and carrying you back inside.

And somewhere, thousands of miles away in the Northern shambles of a still recovering District Thirteen, while you and your husband are celebrating, Sejanus Plinth and Lucy Gray Baird share knowing, sorrowful glances when it's announced on the crackling radio that the winner of the Seventeenth Annual Hunger Games was a boy from District Two, and because of this, the First Lady of Panem's dog shall be called Sage.

taglist: @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @klplynn , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @gloryekaterina , @andrewgarfieldsbitch , @queenofspades6 , @pepperonipastas , @ladybug0095 , @lunamothwrites , @sbrewer21 , @mus-tbe-a-weasley , @splxtscreen , @unclecrunkle , @karmaswitch , @coconut-dreamz , @nekee-lilac02 , @ooooglymoooogly , @riddlerloveb0t , @lovedbalances , @notyourwildestdream , @snowlandson-top , @too-lit-for-fanfic , @utopiakys , @deafeningballoonnacho , @roosterschanelslut , @chmpgneprblem , @cosmoetik , , @urvampgfsworld , @carolanns-world@nan-nie , @shakespearseclipse , @iovemoonyy , @notyoursweetheart-honey ,  @xyzstar , @eatpizzasass, @slytherinholland , @queenofshinigamis , @elodiebeau , @soulessjourney

taglist is closed for coryo unfortunately, but my requests for him are open!! so send me all your suggestions!! requests here!!

[shanblackrx]

So I've been seeing (and saw in real time) comments of people saying

--Either that it doesn't make sense that Joke feels so strongly about Jack when they had only briefly met 2 times before the time skip when:

1- …..bro. It was love at first sight. FOR BOTH OF THEM. Are you fucking blind? Didn't you see all the flirting at the bar and after the bar???? Also for all that's sacred What is the fucking non-romantic heterosexual explanation for this?

2- This is more of a character analysis of mine, but I think Jack gave the positive enforcement Joke never got from his family. That created not only a bond between them but also kind of an emotional dependence from Joke. I honestly don't think Joke's feelings for Jack were super healthy at the beginning, especially with how self-destructive for him he is. And that's precisely why, although all those things he does for Jack after the time skip might seem too much if it was anyone else, it's still reasonable for him. He's so guilt-ridden that he fucked Jack over when all that Jack has ever offered was kindness and something Joke never had before, that he needs to overcompensate.

And especially because he's been marinating in guilt for 5 years, with only his thoughts and his self-deprecation as company, and then seeing how things escalated for Jack in a way he never imagined, that he feels the need to fix everything for him. That is the real meaning of the "100 ways to apologize".

-- OR when people say Jack and Joke's love is unbalanced. Like it feels Jack doesn't love Joke as much, that it's too sudden, that it doesn't have romance, yadda yadda.

Let's go back to the bar scene and afterwards. This is episode 1. This is the past. This is the first time they met. They literally left out the girl (poor Rosé I'm so sorry baby you fell for a homosexual) because they were in their own little world. The world they created on that bar when they shared bad experiences and made each other company in their sadness. The world that cheered both of them up in a day of misery. Also for all that's sacred What is the fucking non-romantic heterosexual explanation for this?[x2] (underage Jack is smooth as fuck)

Not even counting the scene at the bank when Jack was so happy to meet Joke again, and then even writing down his number for Joke and saying he'd love to go drinking with him again before he vanished.

Here's another character analysis: Jack is methodical, he doesn't act on impulse, and keeps everything to himself. This, added to the fact we don't often see things under his POV, makes him a bit hard to read.

Alright but damn, no one is caught daydreaming about the face/lips/closeness of someone they're not attracted to lmfjhsfd please. This is episode 4, c'mon.

There's also this (ep 6)

and this (ep 7)

(both of which I also made an analysis of from Jack's side in this post)

and this (ep 8)

So do you really think he just pulled everything that he did that night when they get together out of his ass instead of, after him and Joke reconcile, having actively nurtured this feeling THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN THERE???? Damn, right when they met again Jack kept Joke from signing a loan contract with Boss because he knew it would be a point of no return. Because despite all the rage and bitterness, even then he still cared about Joke and didn't want that life for him.

Jack and Joke are opposites. Joke wears his heart on his sleeve while Jack has the necessity of hiding away anything that can be a weakness. It's all in between the lines for him. But that doesn't mean the feelings are not there. It's called nuance.

Also, shit, the mutual pining is so obvious idk these people might've watched it with their eyes closed or something. like?? Things start to get messy in Jack's life mostly because Joke came with his chaotic energy trying to make things right for Jack - and if Jack didn't, little by little, allow him to, Joke would've never succeed on being by his side. Jack starts losing control of things, of himself, because he's always being pulled by Joke, gravitating towards him, and he lets it happen because he wants it. Subconsciously or not.

Anyway Jack and Joke love each other and had always loved each other, period.

[slut4megantheestallion]

Kai cenat Headcannons

● Kai loves constantly annoying or pulling pranks on you he just loves seeing get irritated. He pulled a prank on you, telling you to 'shut up' constantly every word you say. He was laughing but not too long since you beat his ass to get back at him. "Bro, ow why you gotta hit me like that, yo?" Kai said, rubbing his arms since you hit him so hard. "That's what yo ass get for pranking me, nigga." Y/n said laughing at him, as he glarer at you.

● He has you on your streams 24/7. His fans love you. They love the dynamic friendship y"all have together.

● He does the most dumbest shit and it you always have to get him out of it like it's annoying but it's funny as fuck.

● Nigga is a big back he may not look like a big back, but no he's a certified nig back nigga would be stealing or eating alot of food.

● If somebody tried to do something to you, he'd defend you.

● His mom and sister love and be teasing him since you guys would be a cute couple, but y'all brushed it off, y'all were just close.

●You're practically a part of Amp. His friends love you and are treated like a part of the group.

● Randomly dancing together.

● You'll scare him during his streams when he's playing a horror game.

● You tease him about being short. He only allows you to tease him, and he actually finds your jokes funny, to be honest.

● Y'all be doing crazy challenges together that can possibly make you both end up in the hospital.

● Try not to laugh videos with the rest of the amp members.

● That one time he brought nicki minaj on his stream, you were so happy because he knew how much you loved nicki and got a chance to meet her, Nicki liked you so much.

● You're his biggest supporter through everything, even through his ups and downs.

● Y"all be making secret joke no one could understand of how close you two are.

● Kai wanted to have you around every time through everything he appreciated you and is very glad to have as his best friend he couldn't be more grateful.

● If you were going through something with your mental health, he would always stop everything for you and would check up on you and make sure you're alright.

● When amp popularity soared, Kai became a household name, a beacon of positivity and laughter in a world of negativity, But through it all y/n remained by kai's side,being his confidant advisor and most important, his best friend.

● Kai and Y/n have the most infectious humor together and very entertaining qualities. You both are everything funny since y'all are both unserious and someone who can take his sense of humor.

● Kai is very humble and didn't let the fame change him. You'll expect a lot of support from his fans, friends, and family members. If kai was facing a lot of hate or backlash, you'll be listening to him rant and give him words if encouragement.

● Kai loves spoiling you he'll put you anything you want that you never had growing up. He bought you a car, and you were never much happier and more grateful. "Nah, what?? Yo, thank you for everything. You didn't have to do this." Y/n said, wiping the tears from her eyes as kai smiled at her. "No, you deserve it. we been through so much, and you were there through my ups and downs, you my best friend." Kai said as you both hugged each other longingly.

● Kai takes you everywhere together. Your friendship was never boring. He was taking you on trips traveling across the world. Attending exclusive events, meeting people, and just having fun, from red solo carpets, concerts, and having such a fun experience together.

● You never turned your back on kai even if he be annoying arms times, you would never be fake like everyone else Is on social media, you never talked shit about him ever and never used him for clout, you was like a sister to him.

● As y/n and Kai's friendship grew even stronger, they faced through challenges, good time, bad times, fame, but through it all, y'all were inseparable, bound together. Kai loves you, and he's lucky to have you by his side.

[manias-wordcount]

Hi so I saw you write for legend of Zelda

Urbosa x male hylian knight reader

So could you do a short story during the age of calamity that while the champions were defeating ganon they got word that an army of monsters and yiga thousands strong was marching towards gerudo village and that it's only defense was urbosa's voe lover

And when urbosa and the champions arrive, they find not a single gerudo harmed and thousands of defeated enemies, and in the center of it all, a HEAVILY wounded, reader their shield broken and sword on the verge of shattering and when asked by a rightfully worried urbosa why they stood alone reader says while healers attend to him

"I swore the day we got together, on my sword and my soul I'd protect everything you love...and you love your people more than anything else..so i made sure not a single drop of gerudo blood stained the sands"

How would she react to this

Heavyweight (Urbosa x Male! Reader)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗜 𝗴𝗼𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗿𝗼. 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗵𝗲

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚!! 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗰, 𝗜 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱.

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

Heavy. Your body feels so, so heavy.

You want to say that the pain is gone. You want to say that it has gone away- traveled to a different, more deserving person. That you never even knew what it was like to experience it in the first place. But that would be a lie. Because the pain? It’s still there. But it’s huddled under murky feelings of numbness and knowledge that you’re supposed to feel something else right there, but you just don’t. You just don’t. Not right now, at least.

But it’s hard to express that. It’s hard to share or say that. Because your body feels so, so heavy. And the person in front of you can’t seem to understand that as much as you want to answer her, you can’t. Because your tongue won’t work. Your lips won’t work. Your arms and legs are still there, but they won’t work. They only burn as sand rubs up against them. They only creak and groan in protest as you try to move them. They only hurt. They only exist to hurt. You only exist to hurt.

Because you’ve done all your other jobs. And you’ve done them well. But now, it’s time for you to pay the price. Still though…

“What did you do?” 

You absolutely hate to make her worry like this.

“What did you do?!” Urbosa’s voice cuts through the silence like a knife as her fingers dig into your shoulders. She’s kneeling before you. And if your mind was clearer and if her fear of you bleeding out right in front of her wasn’t very, very real at the moment, you both know you two would have done everything in your power to keep your composure. Especially in front of the troops that she leads. You can already see the blurry blend of faces as they lean into each other and whisper, faces half-hidden behind hands. This is a side of Urbosa that they have not seen before. This is a side of Urbosa that they have never needed to have seen before. But yet, here it was. “What did you do?!” 

Here it was being revealed for everyone and for all to see. All because of a man. All because of you.

You wish it hadn’t come to this. You wish you could have saved her the fear and the worry. You wish you could have been stronger and faster. You wish you could have fought harder and for longer. You wish you weren’t the reason she was breaking down in front of a group of her mightiest fighters, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes as she begs for an explanation- a reason why she found you all covered in blood with one foot in the grave. But you didn’t have that luxury. You couldn’t try to fix your positioning so you still sat up straight. You couldn’t try to move further away from the sacred city to at least avoid painting its historic walls red with your blood. In fact, you could do little more than hiss and groan as your love shook you awake every few seconds in order to keep you alive and working. 

“Tell me! Tell me, what did you do?!” 

But it’s just so heavy. 

You sword by your feet. The armor you eventually had to shed when it started to slow you down. The dead bodies you had to carry away from the walls of the village to ensure they wouldn’t get stained with such filth. Your head as you try to lift it to meet Urbosa’s eyes and ensure her that you’re fine, really, and that you were just trying to keep your promise to her. It’s all so heavy. It all weighs down on you. Makes your heart work harder. Makes your body move slower. Makes everything a lot more difficult than it needs to be. But you promised. You promised.

“I…”

So you had every intent to keep it. You had every intent to keep your promise. You owe it to her. You owe it to them.

“I swore…”You try to force something out. Anything, really. Just a response. That’s all you need. Just a response. And the words start off slow. They stumble around. They tumble around. They climb up your throat and refuse to jump off your tongue time and time again. But she’s counting on you. She needs you. She needs you to be okay. She needs you to answer her. She needs you. So you try again. With a voice that’s dry and cracks every other second. With a throat that aches from being choked and screaming out in pain and existing only to be part of you- part of your body that fights and battles and defends. You try again. “I swore…” 

“I swore…the day we got together…on my sword and my soul…”

She tries to say something. She tries to stop you. Tries to warn you against working so hard when you’re injured. Tries to warn you against making her heart hurt and ache and break for you more than it already has. But you can’t stop now. Because you didn’t stop then. She asked you what you did. She asked you why you did it. And as the words come out of your mouth, one by one…you don’t feel as heavy. You don’t feel the weight or the pain or the numbness.

“That I'd do anything to protect everything you love. Anything…”

You just feel her hands as she holds onto you. You just feel her gaze as she looks at you. You just feel the love that you have for her. And the love that she has for you. And for her people. And her village. And her troops. And for so much more.

“...and you love your people more than anything else. So I made sure…I made sure…”

And you used that. You used those feelings. You used her expression. Her touch. Her care. Her heart. Her soul. You used that to lift yourself up in this moment. To lift yourself up like those same feelings and memories lifted you up in battle. To lift yourself up like they did all so that things don’t feel so, so, so impossibly heavy anymore. So you can keep your promise. So you can keep on fighting. So you can keep on being strong.

“...that not a single drop of Gerudo blood stained the sands. Not a single drop”

At least, for just a little while longer.

[goat-guy-tm]

I was talking about deep analysis of Curly and Jimmy's dynamic in my discord server (which you should join), and I thought "Hey! Maybe tumblr would like this!" So, here this is! It's a rough copy paste of what I said, edited slightly to fit better in a post format:

Also long post warning.

I feel like because a lot of ppl haven't experience people like Jimmy irl they have a hard time understanding why Curly acts the way he does, and by no means is it still 100% okay, but when you know someone that's been mentally manipulating you for years if can become easy to be tunnel visioned to they pain they cause others. I think a big example of that is when Anya shows concern over Jimmy's last psych evaluation but when Curly does it Jimmy (from the little text we get about it) tells him it was just all jokes, which could have been, but when it's just Jimmy and Curly it's much lighter in perspective, because Curly believes him, and Curly sees no reason for Jimmy to lie to him about his mental state (which he obviously was doing as he has quite the psychotic break a few days later)

Not to mention, Jimmy gets quite aggressive at Curly when he notices that Curly is rethinking his career. He activly calls him horrible things for 'not appreciating his position and wanting something new' (<not direct words but overview), when if Jimmy was a good friend he would have been talking about it with Curly. Instead he shames Curly for it, that in Jimmy's mind it's unfair for Curly to not be happy cause Curly has a better seat than him, but he'll frame it as them, the whole crew, to make Curly feel bad about it.

Like, when the rest of the crew learned they were going to be let go after that haul, none of them were really mad at Curly for him being the only one to be given a recommendation and compensation. Yeah Anya and Swansea are upset about it, but only Jimmy is the one to call out Curly for being the only one to relieve special treatment, when it's pretty established Curly is/was one of Pony Expresses' best pilots. But Jimmy doesn't talk about himself during the party. Swansea mentions how unfair it is that PE is throwing them to the side after all these years, Anya almost has a panic attack over not having any money in savings, Daisuke isn't really phased since he's only an intern, but Jimmy gets mad at CURLY, not Pony Express. He even full on calls it Curly running away, as if Pone Express closing them down is Curly's fault for wanting something different for his life

I mean what's wild to me is I'm p sure Curly even has a conversation with Jimmy in the game about how he hasn't been handed anything and has been working hard for where he is. Curly never out right really says it, but he does make mention of both of them working hard. Then again Curly doesn't talk about himself a lot even in conversation (minus the "on the edge of a bridge with your feet in the cememnt" one cause Jimmy made it about him)

When going back through the playthrough, I realized Jimmy is such a well written villian because he convinces even Curly that Curly is the villian here, the one in the wrong. Curly isn't perfect, he is quite literally the imperfect victim, but Jimmy is such a big manipulator that he convinces Curly it's HIS fault all this is happening, that Curly needs JIMMY so that he can fix all this, only for Curly to realizes what Jimmy's been doing when he finds Jimmy curled up outside the cockpit with a ship wide system failure blaring.

Buddy Corl: "Hey, just an idea, would Jimmy keep Anya alive so that Curly can stay alive? He berates her medical expertise but never elects to care for Curly beyond feeding him pills."

I'd say 50/50. A big thing is Jimmy quite obviously doesn't view Anya as a person, or at the very least views her as bottom of the barrel useless, but after the crash and with Curly how he was, there was no way he'd be able to do it and survive, because the entire time Swansea has the axe and Jimmy even recognizes that if he steps out of line too far within the lines of "I'm captian so I say so", then Swansea would basically usurp him. His own personal caring for Curly was most likely to keep him suffering. He voted on keeping Curly alive, and unless he was just trying to blend in with the others, then he did it because he wanted to keep Curly suffering.

Friend Corl again: "There was a Tumblr post that claimed the hands of the others were missing (the overview angle of Curly on the table was used as evidence) but this could just be the angle of the scene itself as he was going to die shortly after."

Hm, it could have been either the angle, a rendering choice from the devs or Jimmy could have cut their hands off. Idk why he would only go for the hands though, since he seems to show full intrest in cannablism. But you could chalk it up to a concept of keeping them from being able to do anything. Yes they are dead but Jimmy is far gone enough to believe that cutting their hands off could still make him better because they can't do anything to change what he's done.

Anyways that's it! For some context on why this is so important to me, from elementary school to the end of middle school I had a 'friend' that I was extremely close with. She was a horrible person who mentally, emotionally and physically tortured me for years, but since I was a child I never saw anything wrong with it. I would even rush to her defense when people would point out to me that what she was doing was bad. Now a days I hate her, and I love to talk shit about her, but I think a lot of people don't fully take in Curly's actions because they haven't gone through that (and they shouldn't, mind you).

I feel for Curly a lot, because I see myself in him in how he tries so desperately to protect someone he didn't even realize was killing him. Curly isn't perfect, and believe me I wasn't perfect when I was friends with her. She made me act out against people to gain her approval, she made me bitter and mean to others, do things I would never do. Very few people acknowledge what an over powering manipulator that has been controlling you for years can do to a person.

[fashionteahouse]

🌸🌸 me again 🌸🌸

First off I blame my unhealthy twilight obsession partly on you but don’t ever stop! 911 was so sweet! I love the day to day regular life imagines 🥹

How would Seth respond to his imprint miscarrying like let’s say after they told their parents and pack. Maybe both their perspective/Seth being there for her every step of it, and make it long if you feel inspired? Of course like no minors as Seth is now early to mid 20s.

If you don’t feel comfortable I’ll request something different 🩷

You always make the stories so real. Much love 🌸

aw omg thanks so much and i’m glad you liked 911 ! much love to you🥺💜 hope you enjoy :)

save your tears - seth clearwater x reader

It was scary. Seth reassured you.

“We will be great parents.” his smile shined bright. He was excited. You were nervous.

“Are..Are you sure? Are we ready?” you ask with uncertainty. He takes a look at the positive pregnancy tests, “Of course. Why wouldn’t be.”

His words made you feel confident. A family was something that he had always wanted. You wanted it as well, but the stages in life made you second guess the time. You just wanted to not make any mistakes. Each day, Seth treated you as a china doll even though you weren’t showing quite yet.

The news broke out to his family and the pack. They were ecstatic. Arguing who is the soon to be godfather. Making plans of who is going to be the favorite uncle.

Leah sat smug as she was going to be the aunt. She had plans to love the baby with so much love that she could produce.

You and Seth sat and bounced names back and forth. Even giggling to each other as the names started to get wonky for fun.

His hands never stayed away from your stomach. You didn’t mind.

Something that was never wrong was your instincts. You sat worried as you waited for Seth. You tried not to but something was eating at your brain.

Seth gave you a big kiss and a big kiss on your stomach. Your lip quirked a smile as you watch Seth’s happy and carefree face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks you carefully, pulling you in close.

“I don’t feel them moving.” you whisper.

“I’m sure it’s normal.” he says with a smile. You nod, “Yeah..” you say shakily.

A sharp pain shoots late into the night. Seth’s eyes widened in horror as he flicked the lamp on. So much blood soaked the sheets as he pulled the covers back.

Your cries almost brought him to tears but he wanted to be strong for you. He knew he had to be strong.

“As long as the baby is okay.” he says to himself as his leg bounced. The doctor, stepped out into the hallway, and brought him into the room. The same room that had your thick cries.

“What’s wrong? Y/N?” he says calmly but shakily as he hugged you. You couldn’t speak. You were too distressed.

“Y/N..Calm down please? It’s not good for the baby, okay?” he coos softly. You cried harder.

He turns his head. Seeing the look on the doctor’s face, he was scared. Really scared.

“Just tell me what happened.” he says after nobody couldn’t say anything.

“She lost the baby…I’m sorry…We do have resources-“

“Wait..Wait…Wait.” Seth says, “You mean…” his breaths became heavy. He crumbled and the doctor felt bad to have been the barrier of such bad news. All they could do is offer their sorries and what resources they can provide.

You couldn’t speak, so you didn’t. Seth held your hand. Four parents sat as Seth broke the news. Leah was devastated, she never experience such loss like that before. She just couldn’t imagine how you felt and you were the mother.

“How did this happen?” Leah kept questioning in her head. There was nothing one could do. It just wasn’t fair.

Sniffles filled the room as he himself had his own silent tears falling.

Breaking the news to the pack was hard. He wasn’t used to being the barrier of bad news. It was always the other side for him.

He couldn’t look anyone in the eye.

The pack stole side glances to each other as the news broke. They immediately huddle around Seth. They all look to you. You don’t look to them. You dissociated to the point where you didn’t even remember this moment taking place.

“Will you two be okay?” Sam asks. It was more than tense.

“I don’t know….” Seth says with a slight furrow of his eyebrows.

“We’ll be here for you, Seth and Y/N. Whatever you need, I got you.” Jacob says. Seth nods. He always looked up to Jacob. It meant a lot.

The others join in, offering their tokens of support.

Seth looked to you. You weren’t yourself. You felt like a piece of you was missing. Just gone, just like that. The thing that was evidence of you and Seth’s love.

You lay lifelessly as Seth opened the curtains in the bedroom.

“Y/N?…” he asks. You haven’t spoken or acknowledge him.

He sits down, he rubbed your shoulder and placed a sweet kiss.

“I’m making breakfast…I will make your favorite.”

You only blinked. He waits for a while before he rises up.

The fork was in your hand but the plate only blew steam. Untouched.

“Can you please eat?” he asks quietly and encouragingly.

Your chapped lips from not speaking in a long time opens, “I’m not hungry.” you say dryly.

“For me?” he asks desperately and quietly.

You swallow on nothing. You stand. You walk. Seth heard the bedroom door close. Back to the bed is where you lay.

“Y/N…You look like a vampire.” Seth tells you at night.

You don’t say anything.

The shell of your body was there, but your state of mind wasn’t.

“Do you want to join me?” he asks with a towel in his hand.

You look. A reaction. He softly breaks a smile and holds his hand. It took you a while, but he patiently watched as you reach and take it.

You both sat in the bath, your knees were to your chest as both naked bodies were wet from water. As soon as he aimed the handheld shower head to your back, water came out of your eyes like a shower head.

He rubs your back, placing a kiss on the back of your shoulder.

“Just get it out, Y/N.” he says, bringing tears to his own eyes.

The sobs synced with each other. It was intimate. It was needed.

“It’s all my fault.” you whispered as a stray tear is on the side of your nose. Seth held you tight in bed.

“It’s not. Don’t say that.” he whispered.

“I should’ve love it more. I was scared in the beginning…I should’ve been like you.” you whisper and felt yourself choke up again.

“Whatever be will be. It’s not your fault. I don’t want to hear you say that again. We’ll get through this together.”

“I love you.” he says after moments of silence.

“I love you too.” you say.

The daylight made things more painful. You slowly circled around the soon to be room for the baby. The crib that you and Seth set up. It was a gift from Sue and Harry. You heard the laughs as you read the directions to him and him taking it out of your hands, “I don’t need directions. I got this.”

You slowly sat on the rocking chair that Leah had bought. Rocking back and forth, you keep your eyes out the window. You didn’t know how things could just change like night and day like that.

You became angry. Angry at the fact that such unfairness could happen to people like you and Seth.

Seth was in his wolf form more often. He brushed it off as putting in his helping hand for patrol.

“Seth, go home”. Sam told him.

“W-why?” Seth asks. It was completely off guard.

“Y/N needs you at home. I’m not letting you overwork yourself because you want to drown it out.” he says to the young wolf.

“I’m not drowning it out.” Seth says in complete denial.

“Seth-“

“Just leave me be! Please? I don’t need your input.” Seth says and leaves in a huff of his snout. Sam watched as the wolf ran off deeper into the woods.

The images took over his mind. The blood, you crying, the hospital room, the doctor’s face, he snarled at it all. Raising his paws as he snarled at the air as he continued to run.

He came home late into the night. He used his footsteps to make his way through the home. You weren’t in the front of the home, not even in the bedroom. He breathed in sharply as he pushed on the cracked door.

It seemed forbidden to be in. He let out a breath.

You were curled on the floor, the blanket that was for the bundle of joy was clutched to your chest. You were asleep.

He scooped you up, not bothering to take the blanket away from your grasp. You muttered his name in your sleep.

Legs were folded as the pen was firm in their hands.

“Losing a child can be hard. Very hard. Seth, you caught sight of the blood. Can you please break down what happened and how you felt?”

Seth swallowed as he sat on the couch.

“Um…I heard her next to me…I woke up. She was in pain. I turned on the light to see her face. I felt something wet. I pull back the covers…..It was a lot. A lot of red.” he says.

The therapist nods slowly. Examining Seth’s frigid body language.

“And Y/N..As the mother, you blame yourself. Why is that?”

“Seth was happy. I wasn’t.” you reveal.

“You were too.” Seth says correcting you, “She was just scared.”

“You were scared Y/N?” the therapists asks.

You nod as you look down at the floor.

“Why do you feel like you weren’t happy about the news?”

“I didn’t…I didn’t want to mess anything up…I kept telling Seth how scared I was….I wanted to be the best parent I could be.” you say and punch the bridge of your nose as your face showed an emotional state.

The box of tissues were extended to you as you pulled some tissues out, holding it to your face as you tried to fix your face.

“I feel like you both are experiencing the normal emotions. Even if you blame yourself. You shouldn’t.” the therapist says to you, “It’s okay to feel sad for your loss. But also, be happy…That the baby felt what it was like to be loved before leaving this Earth.”

You and Seth nod as tears rolled down your face as you clutch your tissue.

Time had passed before you could even begin to feel normal. Same with Seth.

“Thank you for being my rock.” you whispers to Seth as he brushed his knuckles across your face. You two were pressed skin to skin and you both clutched to each other.

“Thank you for loving me always.”

You two stayed like that silence. Seth says, “It’s crazy…I just thought of the perfect name…” he rolls away and on his back as he lets out a breath. His voice was shaky and you watch as he choked out, “They would’ve been beautiful.” His hands cover his eyes as he let out a quiet sob. You hold him as he let it out.

You don’t say anything but rub on him as you look up to the ceiling in sorrow. Such loss was great, but it brought you two together stronger.

You and Seth sat in the doctor’s room as both faces were scared. You both squeeze each other’s hand.

The doctor comes in with a straight face.

You and Seth’s shoulders slump.

“I hope you two are ready to be parents. You are indeed pregnant.” they say.

Seth and you looked at you with shocked faces.

“A-are you sure?” you ask. The doctors says yes.

After the doctor leaves out, you and Seth hug each other passionately. He felt your shoulders shake. He wiped your face with a smile.

“Save your tears for another day.” he says. You smile despite the tears. You nod. Lips pressed to each other.

“Another chance.” you say as you look up.

“Yeah…Another chance.” Seth confirms with a content smile.

[tin-wufborf]

Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics (Part 16)

Hi there, and welcome back to Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics! I'm sorry it's been so long between installments this time. I started a new job last Wednesday which I absolutely love and am so grateful for, but it's got me working more and longer days (but with much higher pay), so I have been exhausted. Just a heads up, I'm probably only going to manage these on a weekly basis for the foreseeable future unless my workload suddenly lessens for some reason (which I have been assured that it will not).

Thank you all so much for your continued support of this series. It means the world to me. As always, I hope you're all having a good a day as you can, if not a great one.

Smoochies and squeezies, my darlings!

List and links to previous/next part(s) below the cut.

************************************************************************

DISCLAIMER: This is me warning you all that some of the fics I've included in this list may cover explicit, dark, and/or "taboo" subject matters. I cannot express enough how little I care what anyone thinks about any of that; all I want is for you to use caution when reading anything I've listed here and to please review and heed whatever tags the authors have provided in order to keep yourselves safe. Your experience from this point on is your own responsibility, not mine and not the authors'.

************************************************************************

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Que Dis-Tu? by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (G | 1/1 | 2,594)

“What, are you gonna tell me you know Russian next?!” Stiles demanded, flailing one arm, other hand still closed around the spine of his book.

“I do know Russian,” Derek confirmed, still looking confused.

Stiles dropped the book so he could flail both arms in the air. “Of course you do! Why wouldn’t you know Russian?!”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your Royal Assholeness by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (T | 1/1 | 3,327)

The second he walked in, Derek growled loudly and was beside him in an instant, reaching out to lightly touch his neck.

“Who did this?”

“What the hell is going on?” Stiles hissed in response.

“Your majesty.”

Stiles turned when the woman spoke, positive he’d misheard, but she was on one knee with her head bowed, and the wolves who’d all followed had done the same.

“Your what?” Stiles demanded, shocked, turning back to Derek.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You Have Reached... by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (G | 1/1 | 5,074)

“Why did you listen to the voicemails?”

“I like hearing you talk,” Derek said.

There were many things Stiles had been expecting after asking that question. That answer hadn’t been one of them.

“Any time we ever spoke before, it was always about what next problem we were facing and needed to solve. The voicemails are just you... talking.”

“Oh.” Stiles had never considered that.

(SNYE - January 10th - Long Distance)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In meeting his is born, In absence he has grown by lookingforatardis (T | 1/1 | 6,191)

The witch’s voice turned dark, powerful. Her head fell back as she chanted:

So it is written, so it becomes A debt for a debt A life for life, In the darkest of times With a mate by thy side In meeting he is born, in absence he has grown A son for a son, for the Highest Power, Her goddess the Moon draws balance once more With a love that endures. And so has been, and so it is, and so it will be.

- Or, A witch gives Derek a toddler after Stiles leaves Beacon Hills, and Derek definitely does not freak out about it and beg the Sheriff to call Stiles for help because he's his anchor (he definitely does)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Choice by Omni (T | 1/1 | 8,613)

Derek knows what it feels like to not really have a choice, what it's like to be manipulated. He'd never take away someone's right to choose freely. The fear of even accidentally doing so is enough to hold him back from acting on his own feelings.

Stiles has never had a problem making his own choices, and fuck anyone who would try to tell him he can't.

(Or: Stiles gets bitten by a different alpha, but of course would prefer to have Derek as his alpha. And also just, you know, have Derek.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wake Up Call by SylvieW (M | 3/3 | 10,084)

Derek has nightmares and now that Laura is gone there's no one to wake him up and comfort him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes is a World by jezziejay (M | 1/1 | 10,207)

When the nemeton casts a protection spell over Beacon Hills, Stiles can finally go to college. Derek thinks this might be a good thing.

In which Stiles falls in love and Derek learns a lot.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Five Times Derek Heard Something He Wished He Hadn't, and the One Time He Did by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (T | 1/1 | 14,841)

“This place is hell,” Derek decided. “This place is absolutely hell.”

How was it possible he’d gone so many years of his life without hearing anything nearly as over the top as he had just visiting Stiles at school? This had to be some kind of record for the most disgusting things he’d ever overheard.

--

(I mean really, the title says it all lol)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sigh No More series by elementalv (3 works | T-M | 16,472)

1. Sigh No More (M | 1/1 | 5,532) Scott respects Stiles’ decision not to take the bite right up until the day he doesn’t. That night, with the help of his father, Stiles leaves Beacon Hills for good. Warnings: See the Notes section at the end for warnings and possible triggers. The AO3 options don't quite cover what I need. 2. The Cave (T | 1/1 | 6,415) Chris has no idea how to salvage what was intended to be a diplomatic mission with an unknown alpha. 3. Winter Winds (T | 1/1 | 4,525) He hadn’t taken any particular pleasure in killing Peter for once and for all, though he was glad he’d thought to ask Deaton about what to do to make sure Peter couldn’t come back. Lydia wasn’t exactly thrilled with the countermeasures, but since it meant she wouldn’t have to raise him from the dead ever again, she dealt with it by making Scott pay in small ways and large. He accepts her treatment of him without comment, knowing that a lot of the mess the town is in could have been avoided if he hadn’t been such a dickhead all those years ago. And really, he thinks, as he’s patrolling near the Nemeton, dickhead doesn’t even cover what he did to Stiles.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Sound of Silence by Asterekmess (Livinginfictions) (E | 6/6 | 17,279)

Everyone is so sure Derek is dead, but Stiles can't accept it. Not when there are so many loose ends.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

doesn't weigh me down at all by kellifer_fic (T | 2/2 | 17,657)

"Your brother is cool. What happened to you?"

"Har, har, hilarious," Stiles says as Scott grabs him in a head lock and rubs the top of his head. "He's going to hold this one over me for ages," Stiles sighs after a few minutes of the sounds of just their feet shuffling through the undergrowth.

"Could've been worse," Scott says.

"I guess so."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Children of the Wild Ones by bellefire (M | 2/2 | 18,081)

One turned corner was all it took—a single split second decision. A death. Stiles could never decide if that turn had been a wrong one or a right one.

In which Stiles is turned, gets a pack and takes a roadtrip to Mexico with people he used to not even like but are now somehow family, but first: murder.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

discretion's not what i need to sell series by marinbel (3 works | T | 18,492)

Told in three parts, in three perspectives.

1. discretion's not what i need to sell (T | 1/1 | 2,024) Stiles raises an eyebrow. “So am I not correct then that I saw you leaving Allison’s place this morning? From her bedroom window?” His eyes give Scott a once-over. “I’m sure the healthy flush is just from the run, and no other activities. And- oh, hey, is that hickey on your throat also from the run? I didn’t know that could happen.” Scott’s jaw locks. Fuck. Stiles shoves his hands into his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels. “Sorry, just curious. Since I thought you and Kira were still a thing, and all.” 2. one more confession (T | 1/1 | 7,395) He’s talking to someone on the phone. She hears him. “We’ll think of something. Don’t- hey, don’t worry about it. We’ll work it out. Okay? Okay. See you tomorrow, Babe.” The crack of light expands, Scott opening the door. He stops in his tracks when he catches Kira’s eyes blinking back at him. “Hey,” he says. “Hey,” Kira says back. “Who’s Babe?” “Hmm?” Scott goes, flipping the light off and coming back to bed, crawling under the covers and looping an arm around her waist. “You were on the phone with someone,” Kira says, like maybe saying it out loud will remind him of what he was just doing. “You said Babe. Who’s Babe?” . Alternatively, Kira finds out. 3. keep those tired eyes closed (T | 1/1 | 9,073) “You gotta let him go.” Derek watches him from the peripheral, dejected. He sees it just beyond his eyes, the ruminating and mind whirring and Derek says, “Hey. With me, breathe in.” He breathes in and Stiles follows along. “Breathe out,” they do so together, Derek saying on the exhale, “now let him go.” Stiles’ exhale is shakier but he gets through it. “I’m letting him go.” . Alternatively, Derek's trying his very best at being a supportive boyfriend.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Falling Up by PalenDrome (nerherderette) (E | 1/1 | 18,522)

Of all the things Stiles imagined could happen, he never thought he’d end up packless.

*****

Derek picks up his coffee and drains it slowly. "My place is a twenty-minute drive from here. I could show you, if you'd like," he says once he finishes. His tone is studiedly casual, but Stiles knows what a big deal it is. It's an offer to re-establish a connection with a former pack member. To invite Stiles into the new sanctuary Derek created for himself.

Stiles looks at his empty cup. He thinks of the miles he's driven. Of the motels and hotels and cheap campsites he's crashed at, and tries to keep his desperation to have something familiar, of not feeling so goddamn lonely, from his voice.

"Yeah. I'd really like that," he says, and if his heartbeat does a little swoop, Derek's too polite to mention it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Find You Again by nightlight9 (E | 1/1 | 23,788)

The man standing on his porch waiting for him is unmistakable even after six years. Though his hair has grown out longer and there’s a scraggly beard covering his once bare chin, the unexpected guest is undoubtably Stiles.

Derek swallows and tries to subtly catch a whiff of his scent. Then he swallows again when he smells nothing but the Colorado trees.

“Stiles?” His mouth is dry. "What are you doing here?”

Despite the bags under his eyes, Stiles’ smile is bright. “Hey, Derek. I-. It’s been a long time. Can I come in?”

That's all it takes. Derek opens the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If These Ears Could Talk series by HappyJuicyfruit (11 works | G-M | 39,686)

Stiles is hard of hearing, that doesn’t stop him from running with wolves. Doesn’t stop him from dating one either.

1. Clueless (G | 1/1 | 4,748) After everything they’ve been through together, all Derek wants is for his pack to be connected with strong, thriving, pack bonds. And for the most part, its working. The pack is growing, healing, happy. He just needs to figure out why Stiles hates him so much. 2. Pack is Pack, No Matter How Far (T | 1/1 | 9,927) Derek tries to deal with his pack moving away for college. Stiles helps (a lot). 3. Come Light A Candle With Me (G | 1/1 | 1,804) Derek celebrates Hanukkah with Stiles. 4. Worrywolf (M | 1/1 | 5,470) After a few worrying text messages, Derek decides to go check on his boyfriend during midterm week. 5. Memories From You and From Me (G | 1/1 | 3,070) On the anniversary of his family's death, Derek tries to distance himself from the pack. Stiles doesn't let him. 6. It's My Party, I Can Yell If I Want To (G | 1/1 | 5,496) Derek has made a lot of mistakes in his life, and he has a lot of regrets. Currently, his biggest regret is forgetting his boyfriends birthday. 7. I Can Help With That (M | 1/1 | 3,277) “You can’t be the only hard of hearing person on the campus.” Stiles shrugged, “so?” “So, why don’t you make a club or something? You don’t really know anyone else hard of hearing, it could be really good.” “Did Derek Hale seriously just tell me to make a club?” 8. I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do (G | 1/1 | 2,340) 8 years. Degrees, Master degrees, vet school, law school... It took 8 years, but finally, the Hale pack was together again in Beacon Hills. 9. As The Years Go By (I Just Love You More) (G | 1/1 | 1,811) It started with Becca, but it did not end with her. Or, how Derek and Stiles end up with a house full of kids. 10. Baby, I Was Born This Way (G | 1/1 | 1,051) He knew Stiles like the back of his hand. He knew that this silence wasn’t him. This stillness was unnatural. He’d been married to the man for twenty years. He had 8 kids with him. Stiles was a force of pure energy, he was a fighter to his core. It couldn’t end like this. 11. Oh, To Grow Old With You (G | 1/1 | 692) Derek yawned, looking out at his bird feeder as he waited for the kettle to boil. He would go out and refill it after breakfast. Do a morning walk around their territory. It would be a while before Stiles woke up, insomnia kept him up late most nights. And Derek’s bad back woke him up early. Werewolf healing didn’t fix everything, when you were old. Or, a very fluffy retirement.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No Time Like the Future by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (T | 1/1 | 40,590)

It wasn’t until he was ten that the full explanation came to him, because every year when a group of kids turned ten, schools had a one-day course specifically about soulmates, what they meant, and why everyone had weird writing on their arms.

Derek remembered sitting in that all-day class, completely horrified, and absolutely devastated. The course leader made it sound like a good thing. Soulmates were the other half of your own being, they were the person you were supposed to love and cherish, who would understand every part of you, and all that other garbage nonsense. He was not here for this.

It wasn’t that Derek had any understanding of love—not romantic love, and certainly not at ten years old—but he read a lot of books and watched some shows and movies with his family, and love looked like something different in those environments. Love looked like a choice, like the meeting of people, and the getting to know them, and actively falling in love with a person because they were amazing and nice and just fit.

Soulmates didn’t sound like that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nature Red In Tooth and Claw series by HaleHathNoFury (My_Trex_has_fleas) (4 works | T-E | 47,930)

1. Mockingbird Smile (E | 1/1 | 3,554) Kate has come to Beacon Hills to seduce Derek Hale and kill the Hale pack. Maybe she should have done some more research first. 2. Dirty Paws (T | 3/3 | 6,309) Every fairytale starts with a beginning. 3. In Our Town Of Halloween (E | 6/6 | 28,168) It's Halloween, the one night of the year the Hale wolves and their pack get to let it all hang out. Unfortunately for them, someone is on their trail and looking for revenge. What happens next will change everything. 4. Silver Bullet, Silver Arrow (E | 3/3 | 9,899) The Argents have come for vengeance. They're about to get what's coming for them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It Was a Wednesday by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (M | 2/2 | 80,129)

“What happened? Where are you? What’s that sound?”

Derek jumped, having momentarily forgotten Scott was on the phone with him because Stiles had started moving. He’d stalked over to the other side of the cave, still eying Derek warily and growling, then settled protectively over a mass of clothes, leaves and animal innards. It was probably where he was sleeping.

Lovely. No wonder he smelled like death.

“Stiles,” Derek said, answering Scott’s question. Or, one of them, at least.

“Stiles? What do you—Stiles is making that noise?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“How fast do you think you can make it to the south lot of the Preserve?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pretty Little Wolf series by ItsMe_Basil (3 works | T-E | 88,628)

1. Pretty Little Wolf (E | 35/35 | 82,164 ) Derek has heard stories about the Spark -the kind of stories that would have his younger self cowering under the blankets. The kind of stories that had Derek stick close to the pack. But when Derek is in trouble, and the pack isnt around, Derek finds himself in the care of said Spark, and he finds out fairly quickly that he's not all he seems to be. Stiles, he finds out, isn't a villain at all. Derek's only heard one side of the story for four years, and now it's time for him to hear the other side from his mate. *-* "Pretty little wolf," he hummed, stepping closer and kneeling beside Derek. Even in his death fogged brain, he recognized the words spoken. The words that were tattooed along his hip bone. The man reached a hand out, long bony fingers brushing against Derek's jaw. That's when recognition dawned on him. He knew this boy -not personally, but he'd seen pictures. This was the Spark. The one Scott had warned him about since Derek had returned to Beacon Hills four years ago. His mate. "Fuck me," Derek gasped out, dropping his head on the step. "Let's get you better, first, shall we, Puppy?" The Spark hummed. 2. Pretty Little Wedding (M | 1/1| | 3,650) Its been two years since the Hale pack moved to Hood River, and Derek couldn't be happier with his life now. He has Stiles, his family, and a town that treats them like family. Its everything he could ever hope to have. Almost everything at least. 3. Pretty Little Niece (T | 1/1 | 2,814) Cora and Lydia have a baby, Stiles and Derek fight about having children of their own, and Stiles slowly warms up to being an uncle! Part 3 of the Pretty Little Wolf series! If you haven't read thd first I recommend you do so!! These are just little snippets into the Hale packs life after they leave Beacon Hills!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

************************************************************************

[yeetwinchester2]

Skipping

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!reader

Summary: Y/N had been struggling with her ED lately, but the team doesn't know that. Sent on a mission, and her partner doesn't know that it's been two days since she's eaten.

Warnings: Eating Disorder(s), passing out, angst

PART 2

---------------------------------------

"C'mon Steve! Seriously? What else do you want me to do? She's been on every mission with me! I'm tired of her!" Throwing his hands in the air out of frustration. Bucky has had a hatred for Y/N for as long as anyone can remember. She's a former Hyrda experiment such as himself, yet they're polar opposites. Bucky is harsh, brutal, dark, seemling always seeing the negative. Yet, Y/N is kind, caring, light, and always positive. Everyone liked her. except Bucky. But she never let that get in the way of things. She treated him just the same as she did everyone else.

"She's one of our best, and so are you. I'm sorry Buck, but you need to get over it. You can out up with her for just a little while longer. You know how these things go. We get the best of the best. That's you two. We need both of you for this one. We can't have either of you back out."

"Fine. But this is the last mission with her. After this, I'm done. I can't take it anymore. Just something about her I can't stand."

"I'm sure you'll be fine. Go get ready. We leave in the morning. Carrier 0430 sharp. We leave at 0500."

‐----------------------------

The morning comes, 0430 and the team has met at the carrier. Everyone but Y/N. Which is odd, considering Y/N is almost always one of the first to arrive, prepared and full of energy. The first to notice was Nat. Once it was mentioned, Everyone followed suit with confusion.

0440 and she still hasn't shown up.

0445 and still no word from her.

0455. Nothing.

Just as they were about to call over the comms, she appears, running up to the carrier, duffle bag in hand. Immediately blurring out an apology.

"Sorry guys! I got caught up in something. But I'm here now and I've got everything, I'm good to go."

"You sure? We were getting worried." Clint said unsure of what had happened.

"Yeah, I'm good."

Everyone just brushed it off and assumed she must've slept in or missed her alarm or something of the sort. But Bucky could tell something wasn't right. He didn't know what or why, but he knew something was off. He didn't say anything, though. It's not his business, why should he care?

Steve stood, getting everyone's attention. He pulled a small map from his pocket and laid it out for the team to see. "Alright, I know we already went over the mission, but here's a recap. Nat and Clint will take the guards at the right rear entrance, me and Tony at the left rear. Y/N and Bucky will talk the center. The main objective is to retrieve the hard drive from their maim computer system. They're smart, which means this won't be easy. Stay with your partner. Watch out for each other. If you get separated, you get hurt. Six of us exiting the carrier, six of us returning, understood?"

"Aye Aye, Captain." Bucky joking saluted.

‐----------------------------

The mission went as expected, until it didn't. You and Bucky broke through the center entrance doors and took down the first set of guards without any problems. It was cold, and the alarms seemed louder than usual. Everything seemed fine, maybe feeling a little weaker than usual, but nothing too out of the ordinary. Bucky was busy with several guards on his own, while you were lucky enough to handle them one at a time. You only had one or two more to take down, Bucky had a few more. You began to feel weaker and weaker by the second. The last guard put up a tough fight, eventually winning against you. Fighting with all you had, but it wasn't enough. You took hit after hit, in the face, the gut, the side, until all you saw was black.

‐----------------------------

Bucky sent bullets through one guard after another until he no longer had anything to shoot with. So, he turned to his trusty knives and combat boots. Kicking, punching, and slashing all that comes his way. He was pleased with his completion of his portion of the mission, that is until he saw you on the ground, beat. He didn't hesitate to rush to your side. For a moment, forgetting how much he hated you.

"It's clear over here, but Y/N is down." He says over the coms, letting the rest of the team know his plan.

"On it. How bad is she?" replies Nat, her voice laced with concern.

"Not sure. I'm gonna take her back to the jet and do what I can from there." He brings your unconscious body up into his arms and carries you towards the exit and back into the jet.

‐----------------------------

You slowly try to open your eyes, bringing up a hand to block out the bright light hovering above you. Suddenly, it dissappears.

"Hey, hey, lay back down. Y/N, it's Bucky. You went down during the mission and we are in the jet. We need to figure out what happened with you. What hurts?"

"Nothing much right now, I'm fine. Just got a headache," you say, swinging your legs across the side of the bed, attempting to brush off the embarrassment. Hoping and praying that he doesn't try to investigate any further, knowing it'll be 10x more embarrassing than what he's already witnessed.

"What happened out there? I've never seen you go down that quick."

"The guy just got to me and he was stronger than I must've realized. I'm fine though. Just drop it, please." You didn't want to seem rude, but more importantly, you didn't want him knowing.

With perfect timing, Steve calls over the coms, "Good work, team. We're done here. See ya at the jet."

‐----------------------------

Everyone else boards the jet, each one asking some version of "you ok?" And you just nod with a smile and hid it all the best you can. God, you're starving. It been two days since you've had a meal. You knew it wasn't good for you. You would've eaten before the mission, but you felt fine before. More importantly, you looked fine, so there was no need.

You had struggled with an eating disorder for a few years now. It had calmed down and you had almost forgotten about it for a while. One bad instagram post from a model or the wrong word being said or one bad joke about your body. That's all it took to trigger your ED.

You had started living with the team while it was getting better, so you never told them about it. You worked out with them, ate with them, appeared healthy around them. But when you were alone, it was quite the opposite. Doing anything to keep yourself from eating, doing extra workouts to burn the calories. The team never found out, but it has been getting worse and you're worried some of the team may have noticed something was wrong. They've said you look tired, or maybe even smaller than usual. All that last comment did was encourage you even further. So, you kept going, letting it get worse. Skipping more meals, avoiding the team as much as possible, working out every chance you get.

‐----------------------------

You were sent the the med bay as soon as the jet touched the base. You were checked over and over. Turn out, you only had a concussion and broken nose. It could have, probably should have, been much worse. You have Bucky to thank for saving you. From the med bay, you were released and headed straight to your room.

You walk down the hall towards your room, the one just before Bucky's. You want to thank him, but now's not the time.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

this is is definitely a part 1. but I get on Tumblr like once every 6 months so who knows if there will ever be a part 2.

[txttletale]

Okay so. The biggest Marxist party in France is trotskyist and if it's not too much trouble, I would really like a rundown of why every ML I've talked to hates trots? Because there aren't many other options to be honest

basically it is because every trotskyist party is an anti-solidarity dead weight on the socialist left. they're almost inevitably hypersectarian and stuffed to the brim with grifters, opportunists, and careerists. they have absolutely no shame and see everything as a branding excercise and as an opportunity for sectarian digs and relitigating arguments from thirty, forty, fifty years ago. they often take soft-imperialist positions, both-sidesing nato imperialism and scoffing at the idea of critical support.

they also habitually turn into cults of personality that close ranks around sexual predators, but that's not endemic to trotsykist parties, that also happens with demsocs and MLs and maoists and anarchists and [checks notes] uh oh all the liberal bourgeois and right-wing political parties too.

i don't have a particular hypothesis for why trots are so uniquely fucking obnoxious, but i theorize that like--from the 70s onward, most western countries had an ML and a trotskyist org engaged in pointless sectarian warfare as the former toed the CPSU line and the latter railed against them, both to the exclusion of actually doing anything useful. after the dissolution of the USSR, the ML parties more or less collapsed or went entirely directionless for a long time. as a result, trotskyists have been spending three decades in parties that have no particular goal or point, and as such have completely ossified, bureaucratized, and become terminally infested with grifters.

i obviously don't know the french political context, so i can only describe my experience: my ML org has worked happily side by side with anarchists and democratic socialists--we have never been able to work with trots.